#and im sorry this took me months to fill and then this was the result...

[allylikethecat]

lol Ally I’m such a sucker for asking ppl to write lil’ fics from prompt posts like that!! You’re amazing❤️ whenever you get to it, I would love to read anything you write (smutty or not) about George or Ross and Matty sharing clothes. Even all three??? They can share him. Maybe something about their size difference! our little babygirl is pocket sized compared to his big boys!! also I love descriptions of smells and sweat when clothes sharing. Always gets me!

⭐️“are you wearing my shirt?”

Hello Dearest Anon,

Way, way back in the dark ages of August you sent me this lovely ask from the Subtle Smut Sentence Starts Prompts list. I have been very, very vocal about how smut is not something I am very good at writing, and is something that I need to super hype myself up to write because everything just ends up super cringe, awkward and the definition of unsexy. It is something I would like to get better at though! HOWEVER it's always good to push ourselves outside of our creative comfort zones and at least try. On that note, I realized that a ~spicy~ chapter of On a Friday (at least per the outline) is coming up and that means I should probably try and practice this whole smut writing thing some more in preparation. Therefore, here ya have it, some extremely mediocre subpar smut. I apologize for sitting on this ask for so long, and hope that you are 1) still around on the blog 2) that you are at least a *little* amused by this attempt. I am extremely grateful that you took the time to send it and am so extremely sorry for taking so long to finish it. Without further ado, here we go Ally Attempts Smut Part III: Return of the Smut. Thank you for this ask, your support, and letting me know what you think! I hope you have a great week and that being subjected to this attempt at writing smut doesn't make it worse!

WARNINGS: Extremely subpar smut, 18+ content

⭐️ “are you wearing my shirt?”

Matty felt silly, George had only been gone a day and a half, popping up to Manchester to visit his sister while Matty was tethered to London by a meeting at Dirty Hit. Matty knew the entire thing was a ploy by Jamie to try and convince him to reaccept the Creative Director’s position he had stepped down from last summer. Regardless it kept him in London while George was in Manchester and Matty felt absolutely ridiculous for the way that he missed him. He had made two cups of coffee that morning on autopilot, dumping the second cup with almond milk down the drain when he realized George wasn’t there to drink it. 

His meeting had been fine, and through some kind of miracle, he had even shown up on time without George there to lovingly herd him out the door. Jamie had come prepared with a very convincing argument as to why he should accept reinstatement, and the board of shareholders had been in agreement, which Matty hadn’t been expecting. But that didn’t change the fact that he had come home to an empty house, assuring Jamie that he would at least consider the offer. He didn’t want to admit it right away, but he was probably going to accept, the break they had settled into was more boring than he had anticipated it being, and he needed something to occupy his time with George’s production work growing in demand. 

On his way home he had ordered take away for one that he picked at half heartedly, wishing George was there to discuss the proposal. Because it wouldn’t just be taking back his old position, it would be taking on more responsibility, the role turning into less of an honorary title. While Matty was nearly positive he was going to accept, he was still plagued by a wave of self doubt and insecurity. He was sure the career counselors he had been required to meet with as teenager never expected him to succeed, breaking into the music industry and putting out five number one records, let alone that he would end up as a record label executive. 

He ran his fingers through his curls, starting to grow out once again. George constantly told him he liked the gray, but Matty couldn’t help but feel self conscious. He liked getting older, he liked that he was around to get older but seeing the gray in his hair and the lines around his eyes was jarring sometimes, especially when he woke up feeling like he was still lost and seventeen. He shoved the plastic containers  full of leftovers into the refrigerator, maybe he would be hungry later, he thought and headed upstairs. Despite their most recent album aesthetic leaning into suitwear, and Matty having always been partial to a button down, he couldn’t wait to be free of the constricting fabric. 

He hung his blazer up in the closet. He intended to change into his blue Nike hoodie and Adidas track pants. He was alone in the house, there wasn’t anyone to make fun of his mismatched shades of blue, when George’s tee shirt, sitting on the top of the laundry hamper caught his eye. Feeling ridiculous, but he was alone so there wasn’t anyone to tease or judge him, he picked up the shirt. It was a faded pink, a white peace sign across the chest, the shirt, one George primarily wore to his yoga classes three times a week, was oversized even on him. Matty couldn’t help but raise it to his face, the fabric, grown thin from the wash, was soft against his skin as he inhaled the scent of stale cigarette smoke and the comforting musk that he could only describe as George. 

Without thinking, and refusing to consider that maybe it was gross because Matty had just pulled the shirt out of the dirty laundry pile, he tugged it over his head, the fabric instantly enveloping him in the warmth and comfort that was George. The sharp, masculine tang of sweat that clung to the shirt as it brushed the tops of Matty’s thighs, made him feel small and delicate, like he should be cared for. His dick twitched with interest, and Matty found himself palming himself over his boxers, his head spinning at the juxtaposition of his own touch while being overwhelmed by the smell of George, so strong he could taste it in the back of his throat.

He let out a little whine of frustration, his knees shaking as he flopped onto the bed, wiggling out of his boxers as he went. George should be here, he thought. He was hyper aware of the way the fabric of George’s shirt was dragging against his nipples, the way that it was still a little damp, having been peeling from George’s sweaty body and then tossed into the hamper, the moisture becoming trapped among the fibers even two days later. He shivered with arousal, his cock, red and angry, begging for George’s touch curved up towards his belly. He thumbed at the head, gasping as his rough guitarist’s calluses dragged against the sensitive skin, smearing precum down the shaft, his hips squirming off the mattress on their own accord. He rucked up George’s tee shirt towards his chest, pressing down on his belly with his free hand as if trying to hold himself down, the way George did when he was too impatient. 

He moaned, the sound high pitched and performative even if there wasn’t anyone there to hear him. He inhaled sharply, breathing in more of the intoxicated pheromones clinging to George’s shirt and whined again, tightening his grip on his cock, shifting so that he could tug on his balls. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he tilted his head back, panting as he continued to touch himself, desperate to pretend it was George’s fingers teasing him. 

“Matty, I’m home!” George called and Matty whimpered, his head swimming as he chased his release, the smell of George overwhelming his senses to the point that he was imagining the sound of his voice. 

George snorted, “I see you started without me, missed me that much love?” he asked, his words light and teasing. Matty’s eyes flew open to see George looming over him, still wearing his overcoat with his backpack slung over his shoulder. 

Matty couldn’t help it, he just whimpered in response, eyes growing dark as George shed his backpack and jacket, tossing them to the floor unceremoniously before kicking off his trainers. 

“Please,” Matty gasped, arching up off the bed so that he could kiss George, pulling him down so that he was pinned under his bulk. He was completely overwhelmed by so much George, George, George as he rutted desperately against his hip while George kissed him, licking into his mouth, tugging on his lower lip like he wanted to consume him fully. 

He came with his face buried into George’s shoulder, biting down on the junction of his neck and shoulder, refusing to be ashamed that he had just come from dry humping George like some kind of teenager.

“Welcome home,” slurred Matty as George rolled off of him, his own erection straining his jeans. Matty would be dealing with that for him as soon as he caught his breath. He was moving into his mid to late thirties now, it took him longer to recover. 

“Good to be back,” said George with a chuckle, propping himself up on his elbow to look at Matty with a frown. “Are you wearing my shirt?” 

[leqonsluv3r]

hi! hope you’re doing well <3 so this past months i have been feeling really bad and going to the doctor he said one of the possibilities would be cancer (im scared as fuck) so could you write some hcs about how leon would deal with it? i guess im just searching for some comfort since im a little scared lol i love your write hope you have a great day <3

trepidation

—leon!kennedy x reader, a headcanon list

masterlist taglist

an: i’m so sorry anon, i really hope it isn’t cancer. i did my best with this one and it took priority because it struck a chord with me. you can imagine whatever leon you desire, i used re!2 for aesthetic purposes. pls let me know the results anon, praying for ya <333

leon!kennedy who does his best to make sure your comfortable all the time, everyday, wakes you up with breakfast in bed and some pain meds for your headaches.

leon!kennedy who puts on a brave face when you feel ill and you don’t know the cause. your scared and so is he, he’s trying his best to be strong for you.

leon!kennedy who admires your strength these days. that even when you feel like your lowest because of your pain and illness that your still smiling and trying your best to laugh. he loves that about you.

leon!kennedy who sees you have a good day, one out of the few you’ve had in this month. he sees you read, laugh at a tv show your watching with him. he even lets you kiss him a little because he knows your having a good day. and he wants everyday to be like this.

leon!kennedy who is rubbing your feet at the foot of the bed, watching you try and find joy in the book your reading. you have good days and bad days now, today was in the middle. it was filled with a little bit of hurt but also a little relief.

leon!kennedy who presses kisses to your head while your curled up next to him, hand resting on his chest as you slept. as you got a reprieve from the hurt that drowned and consumed your body. these little moments with you were precious to him, happy he could give you some reprieve from everything. he was glad to be that for you.

leon!kennedy who watches tv with you, you don’t feel like going out these days, the unknown sickness of your body was worrying him. but he was determined to be strong for you still, because that’s what you needed. you needed support.

leon!kennedy who makes you some lunch and rubs your back as you eat, trying desperately to stomach some food and try your best not to feel ill. your doing your best to be strong for him too, even if it kills you.

leon!kennedy who runs you a bath each evening, letting you both relax into each other in the tub. your body soaking in the hot bubbles and water, letting him rub soothing circles on any part of your body that he can. he knows he can only take away so much and he’s hoping that it’s enough for you.

leon!kennedy who wash’s your hair and scrubs and massages your scalp with such care, trying to ease some of the hurt your feeling. trying to do anything he can to make you feel better.

leon!kennedy who drives you around, gets you out of the house. he wants you to have a little bit of normalcy even if you feel ill all the time. he drives you to the bookstore, to a nice cafè and even to a park. he wants you to feel like your world is okay, that your safe and happy. only if it’s for a little bit.

leon!kennedy who tries not to notice how weak your becoming, who holds your hand when you feel pain and feel sick. when your joints ache and you have splitting headaches that caused you to cry and soak your face with tears. he just holds your hand, holds you, he can’t bare to see you like this but he loves you. so he’s going to stay even if it makes his heart ache.

leon!kennedy who takes you to the doctor after you finally give in. he doesn’t want you to be scared so he whispers reassurances into your ear even if he doesn’t entirely believe them. he just wants you to feel better.

leon!kennedy who sits with you in the waiting room, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, holding your hand tight as you both wait for the doctor to come out.

leon!kennedy who walks close to you, still holding your hand and making sure your okay, trying to soothe your nerves with just a simple touch. even if he wishes he could take it all away just like that.

leon!kennedy who comes into the doctors patient room with you. who lets the doctor run a couple procedures and asks you about how your feeling. asks what’s been happening and whatever you don’t remember, he’s happy to help and fill in. he wishes he could take the pain away, the pain you dealt with.

leon!kennedy who listens as the doctor tells you that it could possibly be cancer. that you could have it, he doesn’t miss the way you squeeze his hand tighter at the doctors words or how you have water in your eyes. and now he really wishes he could take that pain away, because you didn’t deserve this. you didn’t deserve a single bit of it.

leon!kennedy who after the doctors appointment holds your hand, holding it over the console of the car as he drives. he keeps looking over at you every few seconds. your eyes still red and watering a little as if your trying to hold them back. this is killing you, all of it is and you don’t deserve it. he knows that, his own eyes water a bit as he drives.

leon!kennedy who lets you cry into his chest and holds you on the bed, letting you wrap your body around his. he holds you close, he gives you comfort and love, his own reassuring words that he’s trying to desperately to believe and grapple onto.

leon!kennedy who wiped your tears away and presses kisses to your head, your cheek as he kisses some tears away. he presses a kiss to your lips, soft and loving. he keeps you close, he holds you. because no matter what, he would hold you. cancer or no cancer. he was there for you. and he’d never go away, not ever.

an: i love you all. pls reblog if u feel like it, like and my taglist is linked above at the beginning. i hope this brought comfort to you anon, thank you for asking this of me. i hope it didn’t disappoint. im honored you came to me for this. we always need a leon when times are tough, and i hope this helped.

[lilhealthybean]

Daisy

"Aren't they as gorgeous as you?"

tags: jjk, yuji itadori

notes: angst, ik im terrible since jjk universe has already lot of angst. what can i say? im a hoe for this shit.

The pink-haired boy walked through the corridors until he reached the room where his friends and teacher were relaxing.

"Yuji! You finally decided to show up! We thought were not going to see you today since yesterday you returned late" exclaimed Gojo as he stood up from the couch to approach the teenager "Are you okay?"

Yuji's last mission didn't end up well. Despite successfully exorcising the curse, there were some sacrifices made. As a result, Yuji stayed in his bedroom for three days until he felt recovered.

"Yes, I'm okay Gojo-sensei" he smiled as usually, trying to conceal the fact he was not feeling okay.

That last mission really took a toll on him.

"You still have the rest of the month off, so take it easy" Satoru added, tousling his student's hair.

Yuji nodded, focusing his gaze on the floor

"I was planning on visiting y/n" he confessed.

It wasn't a request for permission, Yuji was going to do it.

"Tell y/n I said hi" Megumi said with a soft smile to his friend "If you need anything, just call"

With that, Yuji continued his walk, leaving the Tokyo sorcery school behind. He felt a knot in his stomach; Yuji had been visiting you since he recovered, feeling guilty of your condition.

He followed the routine he had been following for the past two weeks. He passed by the convenience store were you used to buy snacks together. He walked by the arcade where he spent all his money just to get you the plushie you wanted. He walked by the bench you two had your first kiss. He stopped by the florist to buy you yours favorite flowers, daisies. He continued his walk towards the bridge where he confessed his feelings to you, and you accepted him. His heartbeat always increased when he recalled the last memory.

"I can't wait to see you" he said in a low voice as he held the daisies in his hand.

He began walking towards where you were, reminiscing about all the wonderfull memories he had shared with you. It still felt unreal for him that you had accepted his feelings. Yuji considered you the most genuine person and the one he loved being with the most.

The moon was already arising on the sky, urging Yuji to hurry as he really wanted to see you. Five minutes after, he was there, by your side. Carefuly he placed the daisies he had bought for you in a plastic vase.

"Hi honey, hope I didn't kept you waiting too long. I said I would be here at 5 pm, but I got distracted. Anyway, I brought you daisies, your favorites. Aren't they as gorgeous as you?" Yuji admited with a big smile as he showed the vase held in his hands "Oh! By the way, Megumi sends you greetings"

However, he knew that smile wasn't genuine. After the mission, no smile he made was genuine. His vision started to blur due to the tears that were threatening to fall, but he held them back. Yuji didn't want you to see him like that since he swear it to you.

He sat on the ground, trying to compose himself. Attempting to stay calm by taking deep breaths to ease his mind, but it didn't work. Before he even realized it, he was sobbing uncontrollably. Yuji left the vase with the flowers on the floor to wipe his tears. Ten minutes passed until Yuji had no tears more left to cry, grateful that there was no one else to see him in that vulnerable state except for you.

"Sorry... I promised you I wouldn't cry..." the pink-haired boy whispered as he got up "Tomorrow I will come again, don't worry. Wait for me, okay?"

Yuji left the flowers by your side and stared at them.

"I really hope you are in the daisy fields you have always craved for"

And just like the past two weeks, he departed from your grave, filled with sorrow and feeling heartbroken.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

firstly: CONGRATS ON 1K!!! you are so beyond deserving, and we are all so appreciative of you <3 i have a submission for the event....i have to see what you do with "the night we met" by lord huron. canonverse. i want to be in pain LOL. lyrics to focus on:

"when the night was full of terror / and your eyes were filled with tears / when you had not touched me yet / take me back to the night we met / i had all and then most of you / some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met / i don't know what i'm supposed to do / haunted by the ghost of you / take me back to the night we met"

sorry if that's too many lyrics it's just what i think would work well but i lay all creative freedom over to you i think this could be a goodie (and an ouchie lol)

I DID IT AGAAAAIN i got so into it that this turned into a oneshot LMAO

i need emotional support, this made me so fucking sad (im not sorry btw)

Take Me Back | 1K Follower Event | Canonverse Angst Oneshot

✧ word count ➼ 1.2k ✧ notes ➼ canonverse, angst, post-liberio raid, i'm crying, levi deserves so much better

"This pollen is doing nothing but make me sneeze."

You glanced back at Levi and rolled your eyes.

"Oh don't be such a baby," you muttered as you continued to lead him forward. "You have a cravat for a reason, don't you?"

Levi looked almost offended at your suggestion.

"It's part of the uniform, it's not a fucking handkerchief," he scolded with a frown.

"Well, you're free to leave."

He scoffed.

"No, I'm not. If I leave, you're just going to nag at me nonstop once you get home."

"This is correct," you said with a shrug.

He stopped walking and frowned at you.

You groaned.

"Just shut up and follow, won't you?"

He grumbled quietly to himself as he followed behind in your footsteps again.

After a minute or two of walking in comfortable silence, you arrived at a field of flowers that was isolated off from the rest of the forest. There was a small flowing river that resulted from a waterfall.

When Levi looked over at you again, he saw a small smile on your face as you looked up at the waterfall and then back towards him.

"I was out exploring one day and found this area. It got me thinking."

You took his hand and walked him through the field.

"Now that we know what's outside the Walls," you spoke softly, almost as if you were too shy to suggest what was on your mind, "and once we're no longer worrying about Marley invading or Titans, we should go explore."

"Explore?"

"You know, just go on a vacation that's just us and doesn't have a motive other than just spending time with each other."

You had previously been at Marley for a few months, and although you appreciated that time, it still felt like work. You found yourself longing for a true vacation, one with no strings attached, where it was just you and him. Where you didn't have to be a soldier scouting out enemy territory, and where he could be just Levi.

He was quiet as he listened to you speak. His eyes never left you. He watched you walk as the wind swept through your hair and he found his gaze softening as he imagined the day in which you would be able to go on that journey together.

Levi sighed to himself as he opened his eyes again as that memory faded. He was standing in that same field of flowers. The waterfall and river was still flowing in front of him. The pollen was still making his nose annoyingly itchy.

However, instead of having you next to him, he only had the memory of you to hold onto—that, and the makeshift grave he had made for you to memorialize you.

You had fallen during the raid in Liberio and they were unable to recover your body. As a result, he was forced to make a grave for you that involved some of your old mobility gear and the Scout insignia on your uniform jacket that you had worn before the Scouts transitioned to their new uniforms.

His eyes fell on the symbol that was supposed to depict the wings of freedom, but that wasn't what his mind was processing. He was pulling up the memory about the very first time that he laid his eyes on you.

He remembered that night being absolutely filled the terror, with everyone's fears accumulating together as the town attempted to flee from an incoming Titan attack. He saw you and that your eyes were filled with tears, but also with anger and determination.

Levi tried to get you out, as he did with every civilian, so he could clear out the Titans, but you refused his help, continuing to ramble about destroying the Titans yourself.

He thought you were an annoying little shit at the time, but now he longed for the opportunity to place his eyes on you for the first time again, no matter how irritating you were to him at the time.

He longed to go back to the night you first met. He longed for the first time you touched, the first time you kissed, and the first time you took that step to officially be intimate with each other. He longed for all of those things that were now nothing but memories.

At that time, he had all of you and that was more than enough for him. You were the one place that he could call home. He didn't have to mask in front of you. He was safe to explore who he was outside of Humanity's Strongest™ when he was around you—but now he had none of you.

Levi Ackerman felt a void that he could not get rid of. It made him feel like something was stuck in his throat that would cut his breathing off from time to time. He felt like he was holding his breath, waiting for good news that he knew wasn't coming.

It was better when he was working or thinking about the war, but the down time in between was absolutely miserable. He found himself commonly coming to the graveyard that he had made for you. Some small part of him had hoped that if he came here enough times, it'd get easier for him to pass the time.

It didn't.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

He couldn't move on. He couldn't bear the thought of never seeing or thinking about you again—but every time he came back, he was in agony.

Levi was haunted by the ghost of you. He felt you everywhere he went. He felt you next to him during those restless nights. He felt you whenever he would get home to an empty house.

It was partially due to the guilt he resented himself for having since he couldn't save you. Of all the people he swore to protect, he could not do it for the person that mattered most to him.

He grieved the fact that there were so many things he wanted to say to you that he couldn't get himself to—and now it was too late.

He had spent weeks waiting for news regarding you miraculously surviving, but he knew the truth. He had known the whole time that you were gone—he just didn't want to admit it until now.

Levi sighed as he sat down in that field of flowers in front of the grave he had made for you.

It was getting late into the night. It was dark and quiet. If he shut his eyes, he could imagine you breathing next to him, relaxing in that field that you had shown him on that one day that he had now imprinted into his memory. The rushing of the waves masked the silence and allowed him to imagine you whispering to him to wait for you to come home and to hold onto hope.

He didn't want to leave that moment—even if he knew that it ultimately wasn't real.

im sad #: @chaotic-on-main @romantichomicide95 @lovolee3 @svftackerman @levisbrat25 @leviismybby @idkks4m @moonmalice @elnyrae @sleepyfairyxo @averysmolbear @cathybarn @tclbts @belovedackerman @bejewelledd @fuyuluvr @sad-darksoul @levis-squishy-cheeks @roseofdarknessblog @aam1na @luvjiro @noctemys @sixpennydame @dumbfound-princess @ackermendick

[adaptacy]

Survivor!Leland Headcanons

AKA: Post-TCSM Leland

Cw: Angst, wound scars, injuries, trauma, death, self-damaging behaviors, mention of s/h & sewer slidal thoughts

the brainrot is real and im sorry lee but you are my angst voodoo doll, luv ya bb :(

Important Notes:

I h/c that only he and Connie survived because they're the ones who escape in most of my games, but honestly most of these can go along with whoever you h/c survived- unless you h/c that Leland died... uhm... but then idk why you're here so.. gonna pretend that's not a thing

Also h/c that him and Sonny were definitely dating... you can't convince me otherwise. the whole relationship with Ana was totes a cover up cause it was the 70s but he was still close with all of them, ofc.

~ ~ ~

Dizziness/nausea:

Leland was strung up by his ankles for ~2 days in that basement. He still has bouts of dizziness for years after, and he can't go on rides that go upside down because a) trauma and b) he gets really really sick and really dizzy easily. He also has motion sickness as a result of this.

He has trouble smelling things sometimes- like, most of the time, it's fine, but if its something a little faint, he can't smell it. He was surrounded by such a thick stench of rotting meat and death for a while, and it ruined his sense of smell. He also gets nauseous easily when there is a very strong smell, especially if its something like roadkill or even just the smell of meat, like if someone is cooking and the smell is too strong.

Diet:

He was a vegan for like 4-6 months after the incident because he could not eat meat without thinking about the family, what happened to his friends-- what they became. It made him horribly sick, and he refused to eat meat ever again, but it didn't last.

See, even though he was taking iron supplements to make up for the lack of meat, he was having more trouble exercising. and he was exercising a lot. He didn't ever wanna be weak again. He didn't ever want to be unable to defend his friends, to save them, to fight back. So he worked, and worked, and worked. Punching bags were his go-to. Leland is not an angry or violent person, but he wanted to hone his technique just in case. He couldn't risk letting anyone of his friends/family be in danger again.

However, due to his vegan diet, he didn't have the energy required for how much he was straining himself. And he'd get sick because he wasn't eating filling enough meals for all the calories he was burning.

Eventually, choosing that his strength was more important, he started eating meat again, but it took a long time before he was able to eat it without reminders bubbling up. Like... a year and a half. And even then, it happens sometimes. When he bites into something that isn't cooked all the way through- he can't eat boiled chicken, or meat stews because the meat is too soft. Before the incident, he loved medium rare steak, but now he has to eat it well-done because seeing the pink, or worse, seeing the red juice leak out whenever he bites into it immediately sends him back to watching as the family ate human meat.

Physical Scars:

He has scars from the wounds he suffered. Two long ones on his back, from where Johnny sliced him, as well as a smaller one on his right chest from sissy, who also gave him one above his right eyebrow, and one on his left hip from Nubbins. And while he also had other smaller cuts and wounds, those were the ones that were large enough to actually leave scars.

However, he's dumb and will not let them heal. His doctors warn him that he needs to take it easy so his body can repair the damage, but he can't risk letting his strength suffer. So, he works out, far too hard, and every time that his scars get anywhere in the healing process, he'll end up accidentally tearing them open again when he punches too hard, or stretches too far, etc. In the first two months, there were a few occasions where he'd be at the gym, working out as per usual, and he'd feel the wounds rip a little, and then someone else would come up to him to let him know that he's bleeding. For a while, he had to pack extra shirts to change into because his blood would soak through his shirt and he'd need to change it.

Fortunately, after enough time, they stopped bleeding when he irritated them. But constantly opening them back up led to them being a bit larger than they would've been, and far more coarse. As well as sensitive- and not in a good way. It genuinely hurts if too much pressure is applied, plus feeling the pain in that exact area puts him right back in the emotional state he was in when they were dealt.

Sometimes, if he's in a really bad depressive episode, he'll push on his scars and irritate them just to be reminded of everything he went through. To remind himself that it was real. Sometimes to remind himself he'll never be the same. That he'll never be anything more than a survivor, than a victim.

Mental Scars:

Surprisingly, he doesn't develop anger issues. He develops a lot of other problems, and he'll have 'fits', but he doesn't get angry, or violent. He'll kind of just shut down, but its easy to see the way he goes from super friendly and grinning to leaning back in his chair, his eyes somewhat dark, staring off into the distance. It's easy to bring him back by just saying him name, or tapping him on the shoulder, but it does happen.

He's put on a lot of medications, mostly for his injuries, but the only ones that stick past the first year are anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, and meds to help him sleep. He also meets with a therapist- he's cycled through a few of them, and he started out meeting with them twice a week, but after 3-ish years, he only meets with them once a month. Not because he doesn't need the help- but because he doesn't like revisiting the topic so often, he's trying his best to move on with his life.

He has really bad nightmares, as is to be expected. He'll wake up in cold sweats, and thoroughly believe the sweat is blood, that he's back in the basement, covered in a mix of his own blood and the blood of his friends, and he'll rush into the bathroom, taking off his shirt to check his scars, but they're still just scars. He has to check every single one of them to make sure they're not bleeding, even when they haven't bled in years.

The survivor's guilt is real with this one. He'll see something that reminds him of one of them, and for a while, he'd even go to call them whenever something happened, his hand barely even touching the mounted phone before he remembers. Remembers that they're gone. That they're not coming back. And he wishes it were him. He wishes he'd died instead of them, even if it just brought one of them back.

When he was still trying out different medications, he suffered from a lot of suicidal ideations. He's normally a really cheery guy, and he felt like it was wrong to feel bad- he felt like he wasn't being the person he was supposed to be when he was sad. And that made him feel like a failure. And he didn't want to keep letting people down. Fortunately, he never tried anything, but it happened sometimes when he really missed them, too. He just wanted to see his friends again. Wanted to be with them again. But he'd gently remind himself he survived for a reason, even if he didn't know what that reason was all the time. Sometimes he lived because he needed to carry on their memory. Sometimes he lived because he needed to protect others like them. Sometimes he lived because he knew they would want him to. No matter what the reason, he survived. And he knew he needed to keep surviving.

Hobbies:

He spends a lot of time volunteering at an animal shelter. He doesn't really talk about it to anyone, it's just something he does. He originally started it because his first therapist recommended that he find a hobby that gives back to the community so he can feel like he's doing good, and volunteering at an animal shelter was one of his options. He figured he liked dogs, so he agreed to volunteer for a month just so his therapist would shut up about it.

Well, even after he stopped going to that therapist, and cycled through three others, he still volunteers there. He originally only wanted to work with the dogs- maybe take them out on walks, help feed them, etc. But he really enjoys playing with the cats, too. He finds it way more therapeutic than he originally expected, and he does like that he's helping animals who need his help.

He ended up adopting a 3-legged rescue mutt, and he named it Jacs. Most people assume that it's spelled Jax, but it's not. It's named after his friends- and while its bittersweet, the dog picked up on the name and responded to it near immediately, so it stuck. He brings Jacs everywhere that he can, even brings him to the shelter sometimes and the other volunteers absolutely love him.

Reunions:

Going along with the h/c that he and Connie were the only survivors, but this can be made to fit whatever your head canons are. He and Connie, for a while, stayed pretty close, and helped one another get through all of the lasting effects. But, after a while, the relationship faded. They still meet up, but its rare, and its usually a somewhat tense encounter.

When they were all teenagers, heading off to different colleges, they promised to stay friends forever. And it worked- they stayed friends throughout college, meeting up during holidays, and even had their college graduation party together. And they stayed close friends until the end.

Leland feels guilty. He feels like he's not honoring their promise, and sometimes, he wonders if Connie even remembers. He can't blame her if she doesn't, it was a long time ago, and a lot has happened since then. And he doesn't want to make her uncomfortable. But Connie is the only living reminder of the group, and she just keeps drifting. She has a life for herself, and she's clearly moved on, or at least is trying to. Leland isn't as good at it as her. He constantly misses his friends, and wishes he could've done something different. Leland feels like he's stuck in the past, and everyone else keeps moving forward. And the one person he can talk to about it who really understands is falling through his fingers.

Relationships:

He has trouble building relationships with people. There's always that knowledge that he'll never love, understand, or know anyone else like he knew Jules, Sonny, and Ana. He has friends, of course, but romantic relationships are practically nonexistent for him. He's tried- he's dated here and there, but he feels like any partner he gets will always deserve better. Deserve someone who doesn't have so much baggage, who isn't hung up on the past, who isn't wrecked by anxiety like he is. Because of that, he can't commit to relationships.

It sucks, cause he always wanted a family. When he was younger, if you would've asked him what he wanted to be when he was older, his first answer would've been 'football player', and then it would've been 'dad'. He loves kids, and he loves the idea of settling down, but it feels impossible for him to do.

So, for the time being, he has Jacs, and that's enough for him.

The Notes:

He'll write notes to his friends sometimes. Especially to Sonny. He'll tell them about how his life is going, and how Jacs is doing, or tell them about a new restaurant that they'd love, promising to take them someday. And when he's done, he puts them in a box under the bed. At the end of every month, he burns all of them. It doesn't change anything, but it makes him feel better. Makes him feel like they're still friends.

He always burns them in his fireplace. He'll sit on the carpet in front of it, and Jacs will lay next to him, resting his head in his lap. And Leland will sort the letters out depending on who they're addressed to, and then he'll burn them in batches. He even writes them to Connie sometimes, telling her that he misses her and wishes they were still close like they were in college. He'll even fall asleep on his living room floor as the fire eases into ash and sparks.

[danny-415]

christmas with you

(fluff)

pov: jamie and you wanted to spend christmas together ever since his hockey season made him busy.

jamie called you at 7am.

“hello?” you answered the phone.

“hii my sweet baby” jamie said in a sweet voice

“jamie? it’s like 7am i just woke up”

“i know, i know. im heading at the house right now after i accidentally got hung over at trevors place”

“what?! you got hungover? you never told me there was a party?”

“i know im sorry, but i got a little surprise”

“well yeah me too”

“okay you go first”

“no i’ll just show it to you when you get home”

“alright, anyways i bought a christmas tree and decorations”

“that’s nice maybe we could decorate”

“mhm”

“okay well i love you and i’ll see you soon”

“alright bye baby”

as soon as you got up. you get your pregnancy results. you couldn’t wait to see jamies reaction. you were so excited.

—time passes by—

“baby im home!”

“oh great you’re here!” you said with a smile on your face

“anyways help me out”

“okay”

after helping out jamie with the trees, you were ready to tell him.

“so what’s the surprise?”

“jamie, i uh just found out last night while you were away that im 2 months pregnant. i took a pregnancy test and went to the doctors because i wasn’t feeling very well.”

“WHATT WE’RE HAVING BABY DRYSDALE?!”

“yup”

“I LOVE YOUU THANK YOU”

you laughed and decorated with jamie. you couldn’t stop laughing and crying while looking at him. you were just filled with happiness and tears.

liked by jamie.drysdale, trevorzegras, jackhughes, and 417,060 others

y/n user: christmas w you and our soon to be baby 🥹🤍

trevorzegras: baby drysdale comin up 😛

jamie.drysdale: can’t wait for our baby 👶

[bphantom01]

ARC - V Month Day 8 - The Regular- ah, Standard Show

Late post again! Sry, @arcvmonth!

A/N: Man im not sure how this turned out exactly, but I'm quite fine with it.

I wrote this before the day but didn't finish it lol. I did now and this is more just a Yuya/Yuzu kidfic (where they're kids. Thats what kidfic stands for right?) rlly with some random things here and there... But yeah.

(For the song mentioned, the beat & tune is from the one made by Sleeping at Last btw! Just look up [the song title] by Sleeping at Last. If u want a diff tempo tho its ok)

Oh, word count is just 2k in average. And Yuya & Yuzu r 'round 11 here.

Pairings: Yuya/Yuzu

Warnings: None. Just some mentions of getting bullied if that counts

—

Yuya sat at the part of Maiami that overlooks its huge stadium—the place he always goes when he’s sad or wants to go away to a place away from people.

What happened this time is something more mature people would consider ridiculous… for the first part, anyway.

Today, he saw a group of kids climbing a tree together with Yuzu and Gongenzaka as they went home from school.

Little Yuya wanted to try climbing the tree himself, ignoring Yuzu and Gongenzaka’s protests and warnings because he wanted to try what the other kids were doing.

This… did not end well.

The other kids wanted the tree for themselves and as a result, they dueled for it, and Yuya lost greatly.

What was worse, they made fun of his dad, reminding him of how he was a coward because he didn’t show up to his duel against Strong Ishijima.

Now, Yuya didn’t like that they said that and got into a physical fight with them. Gong helped out, and so did Yuzu, but at some point he couldn’t handle it—the painful reminder of his dad, not the fight—anymore and just… ran.

The kids called him a coward too for doing so. It hurt, though they were right… The truth always hurts, as people’d say.

So what was supposed to be just him wanting to climb a tree had turned into a remembrance about his dad.

It’s always his dad, huh…

‘They didn’t need to remind me that…’ Yuya thought, looking at the sunset through his goggles, which was filled with quite a lot of tears.

“Yuya!” Yuzu’s voice echoed from behind him.

He quickly took his goggles off, dropped the water from them, and wiped his eyes.

“Yuya…” He heard the relief clear in Yuzu’s voice. Turning around, he saw Yuzu happily running up to him, her little pink dress a bit dirtied from all the pushing earlier.

Yuya gave her a smile—although it was fake—to hopefully give her some more relief. “Hi…”

“You just ran off!” she scolded through panting breaths as she stopped beside him. “I’m sorry for saying this, but that was very chicken of you!”

Yuya frowned. “I know…” he muttered lowly. “I didn’t mean to…”

He felt his heart starting to throb again. His eyes also swelled as if tears were to come out any minute. He clenched his fists.

“You shouldn’t have started that fight,” Yuzu went on more gently, sitting behind him. “They were trying to make you angrier on purpose, you know that.”

“They called my dad a coward…” Yuya’s breathing became quick again, but he tried to stop it—tried to tell himself not to cry, to keep that feeling of sadness from oozing out of him. “I wished I had been better—better at dueling, better at fighting…!”

But no one can keep such a feeling to themselves forever. And when your body and mind feels like it really needs to, that feeling will come anyway despite one’s efforts to hold it in.

He put on his goggles again and pulled his knees to himself to hug them.

He then buried his face there to hide it from Yuzu as he continued to cry.

That feeling was too much. It had grown too big to just keep it in now, and for some reason, it thought to let itself show now.

It’s so stupid, Yuya thought, rubbing his fingers together and curling his little toes in his little shoes.

He then hugged himself tighter.

“Why’s there people l-like this…? Why can’t they just…” he tried to speak, his breaths and voice shaky. “Disappear, and though I dont want to think bad of other people: be gone?”

“Yuya, those kinds of people will always exist…” Yuzu muttered. ”We can't really do much about them.”

That didn't seem to work, though.

He continued to sob, shaking his head. Great, his snot was starting to go out. He wiped it off with his shirt-jacket.

Yuzu just watched him, not really knowing what to do to calm her best friend down.

She looked out to the sunset as if it’d help in any way.

Of course, the sun isn’t exactly gonna help calm Yuya down, but… it made her remember.

Remember this one, specific, certain little song.

It’s helped her feel better during the times she herself was down, and there won’t be any shame in sharing or trying it with Yuya now, right?

And with a hum of the beginning, she began…

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears…

She closed her eyes.

It's a world of hopes, and a world of fears

She heard Yuya stop sobbing for a bit. Probably wondering why she just started to sing.

There's so much that we share,

It's time we're aware,

Pausing for a bit, Yuzu observed the landscape in front of them, how the sun’s light shone beautifully off the glass dome of the stadium.

She then sang the last lyrics of the stanza.

It's a small world after all…

She then got up and put her feet at the bottom bar of the hand rail and her arms atop it.

There is just one moon and one golden sun,

Yuzu looked up at the horizon, trailing her eyes to the setting sun.

And a smile means friendship to everyone…

Before smiling, as this line reminded her of Yuya’s cool smile philosophy.

Though the mountains divide, and the oceans are wide,

She traced the outline of the bridge and stadium with her little index finger,

It's a small world after all~

until she reached the conclusion.

She then just sang from there, not noticing how Yuya had already removed his goggles, now just dangling on his neck, and smiled at her.

It's a small world af~ter all,

It's a small world after all…!

It's a small world after all,

It's a small, small world…

She hummed the instrumental.

As she did, Yuya went and joined her by the rail, also watching what was left of the sun’s summit on the horizon.

This surprised the former, although she liked it.

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears,

A world of hopes, and a world of fears,

She likes how her plan actually… worked on Yuya.

And for some reason, he sang the next few lines with her.

There's so much that we share

It's time we're aware

It's a small world after all

(Yuzu) There is just one moon (Yuya) and one golden sun,

And a smile means friendship to everyone…

Yuya giggled a little while singing this part, and Yuzu couldn’t help but smile as well.

(Both) Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide,

(Yuzu) It's a small, small world.

(Yuya) It's a small world after all,

(Yuzu) It's a small world after all,

(Yuya) It's a small world after all,

And now they just raced on who’s gonna sing next

It's a small, small world.

They giggled at themselves and went off the railing.

It's a small world after all,

It's a small world after all,

It's a small world after all,

It's a small, small world…

They faced each other and held the other’s hands in their own.

(Yuya) It's a world of laughter, (Yuzu) a world of tears…

She looked down.

A world of hopes, (Yuya) and a world of fears

Yuya gave her another sweet smile. “Let’s sing the last parts together…”

“Sure.”

There's so much that we share,

It's time we're aware,

It's a small world after all~

For a few moments after this, the two just sat there for a while, sitting down there behind the green handrail.

They relished in the salty scent of the sea brought about by the cool breeze that brushed past them, as well as the glow of the sun setting yonder.

It was a nice, peaceful moment. And the realization that it's just the two of them here made the experience even more amazing.

Finally, Yuya felt a bit of… True, solemn tranquility within his heart and mind.

“Yuzu,” he began, listening to some far away squacks by some seagulls, “why'd you sing that song to me?”

“Oh, silly…” she laughed, “it was… To make you feel better, ya know?”

She looked towards him. “I know I yelled at you, but I also know that that alone won't make you feel better. And I didn't know how else to help calm you down, and I thought that the song helped me calm down… So maybe it will calm you, too.”

“Oh…”

To be frank, the song actually did help calm him.

And he was grateful for it, for if it weren't for his precious friend and her soothing song, who knows how long he would've stayed where he was — just dwelling on those awful thoughts and events.

He turned to Yuzu, observing her happy, serene expression as she looked towards the stadium.

“Who knows, Yuya,” she started out of the blue. “Maybe someday, you'll be able to avenge your dad and defeat his annoying opponent.”

“You're right.” He stood up. “You know? I'm gonna do it—one day. Not today yet, but at some point in the future. Soon enough!”

Yuzu giggled and stood next to him as well. “I'll be looking forward to that day, Yuya. But for now, learn to defeat me and Gong first! If you can't, you probably will never survive even just a minute with the guy!”

“Don't worry, Yuzu. I will!” He gave her a determined smile. “I will do my best!”

Later, they met up with Gong again. For some reason, they decided to try and climb a different tree anyway, as Yuya so desired.

To a nearby hill they went as quickly as they could so as to go home before it gets too dark.

And when they got to their preferred tree, Yuya scaled it at once and, when he reached the top, was rewarded with the perfect, small view of Maiami.

Some buildings had their lights turned on already as night was approaching fast, and it was… Really nice to see the nice orange-pink-blue contrast of the sky above them combined with said buildings and other structures.

When they climbed down, he fell at some point, but… He was fine with it (even though it did, in fact, leave him with some bruises and scars).

It was just four feet anyway.

He got scolded by Yoko a lot when he got home, of course, and he took it to himself to listen to her.

And when he was finally in bed, he smiled remembering the stuff that happened that day.

Sure, there was that, but then again, good things can't happen without bad things, and the same vise-versa. How will something be considered good if there is no bad?

And as Yuzu had sung, this world…

It was one of laughter, as well as tears… A world full of hope, but also fear.

And those things do coexist.

But yeah. He got to climb the tree too, that was fun.

He raised his hand to glance at the bandaged scars he got and giggled. They were just a small price to pay for such an amazing view.

And that thing he talked about with Yuzu… How, one day, he'll beat his dad's annoying opponent. And Gong and… her, too, of course.

Maybe even, he hopes, beat his own dad…

He just knows it.

Turning to his headboard, he picked up his pendulum and made it sway. Back and forth it did.

Yep. One day, things will swing his way…

He exhaled happily. One day. There will be a day for all those one day. Not now, but soon.

But for now, what he needed to do was sleep.

And, looking at his glowing stars and duel monsters scattered across his dark ceiling one last time, that's what he decided to do. Of course, he put his pendulum back onto his headboard gently first.

It didn't take long for him to fall into deep slumber.

—

Ending A/N: kinda just wanted to find an excuse for Yuzu to sing 'It's a Small World' to Yuya :P

[blackvail22]

documenting my asd screening so i dont forget when i have counseling next week

the assessment person and the psycologist were rlly nice. let me start from the beginning of the test tho

to start, i had blocks w different sides.. there were red and white sides and then half white & half red ones. ok. and then there was a picture that i had to replicate with my blocks, and i was timed each picture to see how long it took me to figure it out. some of them i did not figure out because HOWWW was it possible?

then i had vocab. she would tell me a word and id have to tell her what it meant. the words i remember are shirt, lamp, calendar, car, haste, mullify... there were abt 14 more words, but those are the ones i remember

next, i did another brain game. it was a pattern one... id like to say i did well on it. it was pretty easy until the last 8 (think there were 25 total)

had a short break, and then i had to explain a picture to her. there was SO MUCH going on. i would tell her, "oh, theres a person swimming" and she would ask me if i like swimming. she did that multiple times throughout, as well as saying something vague abt her. it was probably to see my conversation skills lol

theres a rlly funny part at this point. she asked me if i liked to swim in the ocean or in a pool. i told her pool, and then opened up abt my horrible fear of fish. she said "oh, im sorry to hear abt that"

on the next exercise, i had to read a book... with no words. i had to tell the story with there being no words... just pictures. IT WAS CONFUSING? but it made sense at the end. though, this is the funny part, this book had fish in it, and they looked more realistic. they were drawn smaller so i could just avoid looking at them by looking at a different part of the page, but i sped through that page.

i found it funny that the book had fish in it after i told her abt my fear of fish. i think the other book was abt a frog, though, so this one was prob the least worse of the two.

then she said "this may seem silly but pretend that this is the sink, this is ur toothbrush, and here is ur toothpaste. say i forgot how to brush my teeth, can you dememstrate how to brush ur teeth?"

and i ONLY KNEW NOT TO DO THE DAMN MOTION from a tiktok i saw. i think i did it like once but BRO? IF I HAD NOT SEEN THAT LIKE TWO DAYS AGO?????

i wouldve failed that

after that, we talked about things that made me happy, sad, afraid/anxious, mad, and relaxed and how i felt when i feel all of those emotions. we talked about my life... how i see the future, what i do now im out of school, if i had any friends.... talked a little bit abt school, too, and how i was when i was in school. oh, she also asked me if i ever feel lonely, how i cope, and how i think other people cope.

i filled out some paperwork (questionnaires, really). one was 50 questions long, nd the other was 100.

after that, i talked with the psychologist about some of the things i put down. she asked me if i was in counseling, asked abt my behaviors now, and if i remember any as a child, and how i came to seek a diagnosis

yeah, thats that.

she gave me a few questionnaires for my parents to fill out and send back to her to see me in a different perspective yk

my result appointment is in about a month

i am exhausted from this assessment

it was from 8:55a-12:15p

i am EXHAUSTED

But i got some bubble tea so im happy

[onewholikesthings]

Miscalculation

Matt Murdock x Reader

Anon request: do u think murdock would smell blood in reader's apartment and instantly think of the worst case scenario and the reader would be like "matt it's just my time of the month" and he'd feel silly for the way he kind of overreacted but still end up caring for her after

short and sweet lil thing for ya here :) hope you like it ALSO thank you for 400 followers!!! I really appreciate you guys for sticking by me even when I lag <3 stay tuned for more content soon!

Masterlist

The calls of your name were unheard as you slept the day away, recovering from a bad case of cramps and nausea. Matt, of course, had no idea and was starting to panic at the smell of blood coming from your apartment; which he picked up on at the door to your building. 

After a few attempts at calling for you his knocks became more harsh, his tone more aggravated, his words more rushed.

He paused and crooked his neck up to listen for your heartbeat, but this floor was one of the busiest. After a few seconds of searching, dread filled him when his results were inconclusive.

He pulled out the spare set of emergency keys from his jacket pocket and felt for the keyhole. Feeling the ridges of the key, he pushed and turned it until he heard a ‘click’ before almost busting the door down opening it.

“Hun? Hun, are you okay?” He shouted as he dropped the keys upon entry and guided himself as fast as he could through your apartment.

After thankfully hearing your heart steadily beating he followed the sound to your bedroom, his nerves calming a bit after hearing proof of your well-being. 

He stopped for a moment at your door, knocking despite his intent to go in regardless of a response. He opened the door and rushed to your bed, his hands searching for your body.  

He quickly felt your hair splayed out next to you and was able to locate your shoulders; his touch waking you up from your nap.

“Are you hurt?”

“Matt, what? When did-”

“Where are you bleeding from?”

He cut you off, beginning to feel around your head and face for any injuries which could explain where the smell of blood was coming from. By now you were completely awake, half annoyed and half amused at the evident worry in his actions, voice, and face.

You removed his hands from your face and sat up to gently guide him to sit on your bed. “Matt, the only place I'm bleeding out of is my vagina.” You said and booped the tip of his nose with your index finger.

His face immediately flushed pink as he realized his overreaction and his tense body relaxed, taking your hand and kissing it.

“Im sorry,” he laughed, “I might have been a bit overdramatic.” He said and placed the palm of your hand on his cheek, feeling your warmth on his face.

His tenderness made you smile, “A bit? I thought you were gonna call an ambulance.” You said, a grimace following the words as another jolt of pain was sent through you. He picked up on the spasms causing you pain and planted a kiss on your forehead.

“Anything I can get you while I’m here? Food? Ibuprofen? Something?” He hurriedly asked while you scooted over in your bed, making room for him to lay with you.

You patted the now open spot next to you, “Just hold me for a bit, would you?” You almost pleaded, knowing the comfort his presence provided.

You closed your eyes and missed the smile plastered across his face, “Of course.” He muttered quietly as he began to undress. He took off his suit jacket, tie, and shoes before taking his place at your side.

He scooped one arm under your neck and another around your waist, cradling you as you leaned your face against his chest. You took a big inhale of his clean scent and exhaled, only to do it again a moment later. This plus the sound of his heartbeat was enough to take your mind off the pain.

He stayed there with you as you drifted off back to sleep, the sensations of your skin, hair, and breathing allowing him to focus on something besides the outside world and terror within it.

The peace you found in each other was like no other.

[kisstheassassins]

Hi there😊May I request a HC with Connor and SO who is an assassin in The Tyranny of King, but in this SO doesn't remember him when he finds her in the same prison as Kanen'tó:kon hanging by her wrists being tortured by a bluecoat(similar to what happened to Leliana in DA Inquisition). Also she would the same person he originally knew, but cold & kind of emotionless. Not to mention she wouldn't trust him either. Lol sorry that got dark, but thank you for taking the time to read this!

I hope this is to your liking 😊

Also im using (p/n) as your preferred pronouns.

The two men had finally been liberated from the prison they were held in, but Kanen had one last thing to do here before he could finally leave.

There they were at a four-way cross section of the jail, with Kanen looking around at each hallway as if he were trying to remember something.

"What is it?" Ratonhnhaké:ton asked his friend; his hand was pulling on Kanen's arm to make him hurry, but he pulled away.

"We cannot leave yet," the other man says, running down one of the halls. If Connor hadn't trusted his friend he would have gone the other way, but he follows close behind.

They find themselves at a closed door, and behind it a voice can be heard. It's cold and harsh, and upon creaking the door open Kanen realizes its not just one person, but two. You hang by your wrists from the ceiling by chains, feet barely hitting the floor as you gasp for each breath.

"I know that there were more of you," the guard says harshly. He has some sort of blunt weapon in his hand to strike you when he thinks you're either lying, or doesn't like the answer you give him. Your face is bloodied and bruised.

"Beat me all you want," you growl, "I'm not saying a damn thing. You and your false King can rot in hell."

Your voice rang through Ratonhnhaké:tons ears like a cannon firing just beside him. His breath quickens as he and Kanen rush in just before the guard strikes you, startling him.

However, before they can reach him your legs wrap around his neck tightly, using your chains to lift you up and choke the man with your limbs. You apply more pressure with each passing minute, and eventually jerk your hips sideways to result the sound of his neck snapping. His body slumps to the floor, as well as your legs. You're exhausted.

Kanen moves the dead body to the side and searches for the key while Ratonhnhaké:ton looks you over. He's still trying to process that he even found you, let alone in this prison. And the state of you; it made him sick to see you so beaten. He always promised to protect you and to prevent this type of thing.

"Took your bloody time," you say, an exasperated smile gracing your lips. Kanen unlocks the braces one by one, and Ratonhnhaké:ton helps you stand when each hand is free. You can't help but fall to the floor, and he helps you down gently. Kanen kneels on the other side of you.

"I don't particularly enjoy leaving my friends behind," he says. You rub your wrists and wince at the pain; no doubt these bruises would be here a while.

Your eyes meet the other man's, suspicion building up the more he stares. His eyes are soft and his mouth is partially open like he wants to say something.

"Friend of yours?" you ask, looking up at Kanen. He nods.

"More like a brother. This is Ratonhnhaké:ton."

You both lock eyes again, and a sense if warmth and familiarity fill your chest. It confuses you; you know you have never met this man in your life, so why are you so..... fuzzy?

You nod at him in greeting.

"(Y/n)," you say, and even though he knows it, he smiles to you anyway.

Kanen and Ratonhnhaké:ton help you stand up and keep you close to support your legs, as it was somewhat difficult to walk after the beatings you received.

"Go on ahead," Ratonhnhaké:ton says, "I'll help (p/n)."

With just you two now following a ways behind Kanen, Connor has a close grip on you and you can't help but notice how closely he watches you. You don't have to look to know, but you can feel his eyes on you.

You try to break the wall with small talk.

"Thanks for doing this," you say, "uh.... " A laugh escapes you. "Sorry, I don't know how to say your name."

He knew it was coming, but he played a long.

"What would you like to call me then?" he asks softly. Your eyes meet his once again and you chuckle.

"My mentor," you begin, "he had a son. Died when he was only six." A pause. "Is Connor okay?"

The man smiles and nods, fixing his grip on your back. You fall in closer to him as your legs are still weak.

"It's perfect," he chuckles, but you weren't able to feel how his heart ached and yearned for you at that moment. "How about we get out of here, hm?"

-----

Benjamin Franklin had been attending to your wounds on your hands and wrists, while the other two who saved you leaned over a table discussing their next move for the revolution over Washington. You can't help but stare at Connor and wonder why he felt so familiar to you, but you never met the man.

"Something bothering you, (y/n)? " Ben asks. You keep your eyes focused.

"How come I've never met Connor," you say. Your friend looks to where you are looking.

"You mean Ratonhnhaké:ton?"

Your eyes glance to Ben and then back.

"We settled on Connor since I can't pronounce his name," you say.

Ben finishes up wrapping the bandages around the cut on your palm, watching you wince as he tucks the fabric in.

"Well," he begins, "I don't think Kanen'tó:kon expected to find his friend here in the midst of all this. He went to war with Washington even before Ratonhnhaké:ton and his mother did."

You sit up off the table and pulls your sleeves down over your bandages.

"Do you trust him?"

"He's been very helpful so far," he states, "in fact, I believe he's done more for us in the past week than we have in a month. I dont think you have anything to worry about."

----

A brief war table meeting later, and everyone has departed to complete their duty for the day, leaving you to rest and Connor to go over what he had missed over the past few weeks. You find yourself beside him staring at the wall of photos and drawings that you and your colleagues had collected for evidence and tracking. Connor stares up at Washington, eyes malice and eager to find the man.

"You seem to have a personal vendetta with him," you say, more so than we do."

Connor looks to you and then back at the wall, exhaling sharply.

"He has done a lot of harm and damage to my people, as well as the rest of the world. My home was burned, my people enslaved."

He stops a moment to collect himself and take a deep breath, almost preparing himself for what he had to say next.

"He... murdered my mother. My father."

You swallow the lump in your throat; people were lucky enough to survive Washington's wrath, let alone escape it. A majority of those here weren't so lucky.

"I'm sorry," you say softly.

A few moments pass and you can't help but stare at him, that feeling familiarity hitting you dead in the chest again. Your palms are sweaty too, you notice, and you're chewing the inside of your cheek. Connor glances your way and turns his head when he sees you.

"What?" he says. You exhale sharply.

"Are you sure we haven't met before?" He shakes his head. "I feel like I've seen you before and its driving me mad."

Connor shifts in his spot, thinning his lips and staring at you, waiting, as if he wanted to speak. But he doesn't. Instead he watches you get closer.

"I don't normally trust people so easily," you say, "but seeing Kanen being so open and close to you, I feel like I can too. Don't take me the wrong way Connor, but you feel real familiar to me and I don't know why."

He smiles sheepishly, memories if you flooding his mind back in.... his original world. All of this surely had to be a nightmare.

"Perhaps we should work together," he begins, "see where this goes from here."

You smile at him and he does the same for you, making you chuckle. You pat his arm and make way upstairs; he is in close pursuit.

He prayed to his ancestors nothing happened to you after this.

[theramseyloft]

7/30/21

Waiting for the call from UGA to get Khou.

Doing the most urgent loft work in the meantime.

Just finished mucking nest boxes.

The time has come to employ the loft's little tower fan.

As well insulated as it is, it's still a metal building and the AC unit just cannot complete.

Blowing at full strength, you can't feel it more than 6 in from the vent.

Good gawd, I started at 7:30am, and it is SO humid that in an hour of work, I'm dripping, and have developed the tell-tale muscle aches, nausea, and lip-tingling of heat exhaustion.  Came in to cool back down after setting up the tower fan.

Patron: "A fan in the window would help"

"The easiest way to keep a space as cool as possible is to create a path of airflow"

Thank you

Ok!

Breakfast eaten, water get, time to resume!

I laid this fucking brick out to hose down yesterday...

The Fire Nation used it as scaffolding to build a nursery and fill it with larva that quickly.

This is why I have to be so aggressive about treating them, and why my loft help just turning the bricks and weight stones shit side down is so dangerous.

Patron: "Holy shit! Fire ants are insane."

Patron: "They are an aggressive species from the Amazon, of course they're aggressive and quick lol"

Patron: "Oh! They are not native to the US? I never knew that! I just remember learning very quickly when we moved to the south from Canada that they are mean little bastards"

They are not!  

They are adapted to the river banks and survive the frequent flooding by clinging together in living rafts.  

An individual can hold her breath up to 14 days, allowing the rafts to survive until they make landfall again.  

They really love the American south because the high humidity keeps soil moist enough to build mounds in very quickly without the disruption of floods to cause breaks in reproduction.

Patron: "That explains so much"

They are able to remain in constant larva factory mode, and with all US populations only coming from a few accidentally imported queens, they are closely enough related not to see any other US fire ant colony as a rival.

So the entire US population of fire ants is a single massive supercolony with neither predators nor competition.

Patron: "That is super disturbing"

"But also very informative."

Yeah, they are monsters here that absolutely will hunt and eat you if they get the opportunity.

My husband and I used to have our bed against the wall.

The little bitches swarmed in by hundreds through a hole in the insulation one night in the second year we were married, infested the blankets, and woke us up by stinging us en mass.

Patron: "i cant imagine how fucking horrifying that was to wake up to"

I still have nightmares.  

I can't fall asleep by laying there with my eyes closed.  

You know how there are always after images when you close your eyes? Usually just meaningless, wandering patches of light and dark?  

That's what the swarm on my skin looked like in the dark, and instead of just being patches of light and dark, my asshole brain highlights their segments, legs, and animates their attack behavior of clamp on with jaws, sting until prey stops moving, or ant is crushed or otherwise pried off.  

I get the most ungody adrenaline spike if I'm not too physically exhausted to notice the visual.

It makes trying to fall asleep a real bitch for me.

Got an update call about Khou.

They don't have a specific time for him to get his CT scan done, beyond that it will happen today.

If it happens late enough in the day that he won't be fully recovered from sedation by the time they close, we'll have to wait until tomorrow to come get him.

Patron: "How far is it to Athens from where you are? You said you took him to UGA right?"

Two hour drive.

Patron: "Hang in there. Fingers crossed they can do it early today"

Thank you.

Neither I, nor my husband are really ok with out him.

The house feels wrong...

Had to come back in for the permethrine.

The fire nation is trying a different foraging approach into the loft and fuck no.

Threshold treated.

Komodore asked Patch to smooch-feed her

Farthing tread Luxie.

Then he crouched to be tread and she, then Alex, tread him.

I think I was wrong about Mote.

Wukong looks lighter than he is because of his chest fluff.

Close inspection of their wings shows Mote to have the same pattern as Wukong, obscured by the deeper Dirty pigmentation of babies under 4 months.

Arco has been doing the best job helping Passenger set her Fegg.

Leela is quite insistently crouching for Nobu, but her foob kinda over balances her when he's on top, causing her to stumble into a tilted run under him to keep from faceplanting.

He hangs on with the brazen tenacity of a bull rider, and has managed to finish three times today.

It is exactly as hilarious as it sounds, and I'll try to catch it on video, if I can.

Look at Arco on his practice egg <3

Patron: "a grown boy!"

Just got an update from UGA.

khou just finished his CT, but they close at 5pm, and he's unlikely to have recovered enough to be discharged in two hours, even if I left right now.

The projected discharge is between 9 and 10am.

His little heart stopped.

(Pretty much every Patron sent their condolences)

Cousins: "We're on the way, Dani, I'm sorry!  30-40 minutes i think ..."

Can't wait.

We can go say goodbye, if we leave now and fold space.

Husband: "The vets are trying one more time to get his heart to start back up.  We are on the road now."

We got to UGA.  

No word on if the last effort succeeded.

Waiting for his Dr to come see us.

Husband: "He didn't make it."

Husband: "He had lesions in his lungs.  The sedation was too much for his damaged lungs to handle."

Patron: "im so sorry. is there any idea what the lesions are from?"

Husband: "Not yet.  They have not gotten all the results back from his tests yet."

"The vet took a clay imprint of his feet with his name on it."

Patron: "sending all the love to both of you"

Husband: "Thank you.  We both are recovering."

Thank you so much to all of my patrons for the outpouring of loving condolences.

[itsnothesameasitwas]

hiii! im looking for good freinds to lovers fics bc i go through them sooooo fast :/ if you have any good ones pls send them !!!

hii… sorry this took me a whole day but here some Friends to Lovers fics… all the fics I’m recommending are Larry and please be careful with the tags before start reading and leave kudos :)

ABO

♥ Promise Me You Won't Run Away by thinlines @thinlinez | 23k | E

“Does kissing me stop you from having bad thoughts?” Harry asked, voice muffled into the collar of Louis’ dress shirt. Louis chuckled at this. He trailed a hand down Harry’s back, feeling the muscles tensing along with his touch.

“I guess you can say that. You’re a good distraction.”

“Then I will be the best distraction.” Harry answered, pulling back and watched Louis’ lips unashamedly.

“Come distract me, then.”

Or the Prince/ Knight AU in which Harry left Louis, but the omega never once gave up on them.

♥ i don't wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your neck by crybaby | 19k | E

Harry has been in love with Louis Tomlinson for four years, five months, and thirteen days.

Harry had fallen in love with Louis Tomlinson like how he’d seen in movies, and how he’d read in all the books he’d stolen from Gemma, headfirst and shameless. The only problem was, that in films and books, love was always either returned instantly, or else it took time for unrequited love to lose the first two letters, and since the first option was obviously not true, Harry decided he would wait for the second to become reality. And so Harry waited, three years, eight months, and four days, before his heart had been broken by a gentle rejection and a misplaced blowjob, before Louis and Gemma had packed up and gone to Manchester for university.

(Harry is a hopelessly romantic omega and Louis is his sister's best friend)

♥ picking up the pieces by falsegoodnight @falsegoodnight | 35k | E

“Zayn,” he murmurs, quietly but desperately.

Knowing what to do immediately, Zayn discreetly glances behind them to scan the room. “Walking over,” he says, confirming Louis’ worst fears.

“Maybe he’ll just pass by without stopping,” Louis says, glancing at the tables next to them as if hoping to find some other group of friends Harry had in high school that he could possibly want to talk to.

Eyebrow arched and lips pursed, Zayn has the nerve to look amused. “He’s looking directly at us.”

“Cause a diversion,” Louis rushes through his teeth, panic clawing up his throat. He can’t look Harry in the face again. Not yet, maybe not ever.

Zayn rolls his eyes and grabs his hand, interlocking their fingers. “It’s now or never, dear.”

- Louis returns to his hometown for the first time in ten years for his high school reunion and is faced with memories he’s long since tried to forget.

MPREG

♥ waiting on you by beckywritesthings @beckydoesthings | 21k | M

“Do you want to touch?” Harry asks, taking one of his hands off to tangle with Louis’. His open invitation finally drags Louis’ attention away from his baby and up to his face, blue eyes wobbly with emotions. It’s clear that he’s too taken to really form words, so Harry takes the initiative to press their laced hands against his shirt fabric, warmth from the skin radiating through.

Louis pushes his shirt up to his chest, taking Harry’s hand and pressing it to hold the fabric in place. His hands return to warm skin, palms even more scalding now that there’s nothing in between them. And then, as if that wasn’t enough for Harry’s heart to handle, Louis leans in, pressing his lips right above his belly button.

“Hi, baby,” he says, lips moving across his skin softly. “I’m your… I’m Louis.”

Or Harry is pregnant with a stranger’s baby and Louis doesn’t know. It’s a minor detail that Harry’s both living with Louis and in love with him. No big deal.

♥ you fit me better than my favourite sweater by brightbluelou | 13k | NR

Harry didn't mean to fall in love with his best friend, and he definitely didn't mean to get pregnant. Despite that, it’s probably still the best thing that’s ever happened to him. And after that, well. It just kept getting better.

or; the one where Harry and Louis are friends-with-benefits and Harry unexpectedly gets pregnant. Harry never wants to stop getting pregnant after that, but Louis thinks seven kids is probably enough.

AUS

♥ our matchmaker: the fucking universe by peachloulou | 8k | E |

On your eighteenth birthday, you end up with your soulmates' name tattooed on your body. The universe works in a fairly simple way, so Louis knows Harry is his soulmate. He's got Harry's name tattooed on his ass cheek like a tramp stamp, and Harry's got the name Lou written on the inside of his wrist. Except Harry doesn't know what Louis' soulmates name is because Louis is a romantic fool, and, ever since Harry woke up with the name Lou two years after Louis, he's been a quest to find his own soulmate. Meeting after meeting.

But maybe Louis' wrong, and he and Harry are nothing more than best friends.

Or the one where the universe is annoyingly fucking complicated.

♥ Love Isn't Always on Time by softfonds @softfonds | 45k | E

Falling in love with your best friend sounds like a good idea, until he comes back from a work trip engaged to another man. A Made of Honor AU.

♥ You Might Want to Marry My Husband by Rearviewdreamer | 37k | M

When Harry’s husband dies, he asks one thing of him; to find love and happiness again without him. It’s a request that Harry is happy to disregard, until he meets the one person who is impossible to ignore.

♥ Work of Magic by Bekita @justalarryblog | 34k | NR

"C’mon Liam, are you really going to use this against me now? You know the kind of humans his kind is! You know very well why we hunt them!" Louis said, done with the conversation and walking down the hall.

"No! We hunt people who don’t care about others, and neither Harry nor anyone in his family is like that!” Liam exasperated, following behind. “Louis, it's been two weeks, don’t you wanna know how Harry is? Has this hatred taken over so fast?" Liam inquired, knowing the hit a nerve.

"You know what, Liam? I'm not going to have this conversation with you." Louis said decisively, turning his back to his friend ready to go to his class.

But life is never fair, is it? When he turned around he was face to face with Harry in the middle of the hallway. The two stared at each other. Do I hate him? Louis wondered as he watched Harry's eyes fill with tears and seem to be begging for something. He preferred to ignore the pang in his chest and the urge to comfort the boy in front of him. He lowered his head and continued on his way.

Or the one that Louis is a WitchHunter and Harry is a Witch and they keep it as a secret, but they fall in love.

♥ practice in pencil, seal it in pen by loubellies @loubellies | 16k | E

AU where drunk Harry lifts Louis up after someone says “bottoms up”. Louis blushes at Harry’s antics, flustered that his best friend knew him more than he thought. Friends to lovers with a happy ending pleaseor Harry is in love with Louis but he doesn't know.

♥ plant new seeds by glitterhaz @cloudslou | 44k | TUA

Harry nods, not trusting his words. Slowly, he crawls under the covers of his bed, all too aware that Louis is doing the same, so close to him. Initially, he faces his desk, not looking at Louis, but after a few minutes he gets uncomfortable and turns over. Now, he’s only a foot from Louis’ face, and Louis has turned around too.

He doesn’t think Louis is asleep already, and it's confirmed when Louis’ eyes blink open sleepily. Harry looks at Louis, and Louis looks at him. Really looks.

“Can you see me?” Louis whispers.

Harry doesn’t understand the question, not really, but nods anyway. “Yeah, I see you,”

**Louis works at a lonely community garden, Harry is the upstanding fraternity man who makes it all feels a little less lonely. Over the course of a semester, that is.

♥ Skin New, Hands True, My Hands All Over You by PearlyDewdrops | 44k | E

Harry designs wedding cakes, so of course meeting blissfully happy couples every day is part of his job description. Unfortunately, it's caused Harry to perpetually hope each new day is the one he'll find love, too. That is, until Harry realises everything he's ever wanted is right under his nose in the shape of his best friend, Louis.

But predictably, Harry only comes to this epiphany when Louis starts seeing someone else. And this is not a John Hughes movie as far as Harry is aware. Everyone else is pretty sure, though.

Featuring a heavy dose of pining, copious amounts of alcohol, drunk dialing that results in a situation reminiscent of Rachel Green's, a ginger cat that likes to interrupt intimate moments, and a Halloween party that changes everything.

♥ if it kills me by you_explode | 110k | M

Harry and Louis have worked together in a difficult office environment for six years. They're best friends; Louis is the bright spot of all of Harry's days. But Louis is in love with Harry, and Harry's engaged to someone else. And that's only the beginning.

The Office AU. More or less follows the first five seasons. A lot of pining and misunderstanding the depth of feelings and rejection and angst, until there isn’t.

♥ In This Light by exhilarated | 99k | E

Harry is a wardrobe stylist who likes to live in the moment, and Louis is a popstar who looks dreamy in double breasted jackets. Harry never stood a chance.

♥ smell the sea, feel the sky by lightswoodmagic @lightwoodsmagic | 16k | E

They’d been planning this beach trip for months, stressing around work schedules and engagement parties, trying to find the perfect place to stay in and a time where there wouldn’t be families everywhere but the weather still perfect. Louis had spent what felt like hours researching and planning, dinners with Zayn and his boyfriend at their house that just ended in looking at places and sending them to Niall. He’d been looking forward to it for weeks, getting away from his job and his bullshit neighbours and the noise of the city.

It seemed ridiculous, really, that in all that time, Zayn hadn’t mentioned once that Harry was coming.

Or, Louis doesn't know how he's going to spend a week with the one person he wants and can't have. Harry proves him wrong.

♥ This Shifting Ground by zarah5 | 28k | M

University AU. In which Louis, law student, is the cheeky waiter to Harry’s dates. This is how it starts.

♥ No One Like You by myownspark | 19k | M

Dear Niall,I was glad to have the chance to talk with you again at the AHA conference. Your idea that the Musee D’Orsay Tomlinson painting is in fact not a self-portrait is an intriguing one, and I may have discovered something that will have a bearing on that theory.

Some background: as you may remember, I’ve been researching for a book I’m writing about Harry Styles. I’ve been in communication with Styles’ last living descendant, who is in possession of a trunk that her family believed to have belonged to Styles himself. It held some personal items she presumes to be his, including two unmounted paintings and a small collection of letters.

Upon spending the last few days in Provins studying these items, I believe there to be a connection between Tomlinson and Styles, and I would very much like your opinion.

Are you up for a trip to France?

Sincerely, Liam Payne

Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.

♥ across city skyline (and straight through my heart) by Halos_Boat @halohamilton | 76k | M

Louis Tomlinson meets Hollywood Heartthrob, Harry Styles when he walks into Louis' little bakery one day.

Immediately, Louis is charmed by him and Louis thinks Harry might feel the same way, given the fact that Harry has visited the bakery everyday since he'd come to town.

Until one day, Harry walks in with a boyfriend under his arm and a smile on his face.

The one where Louis owns a small bakery that's well known in his town and Harry Styles is an actor who comes to town to film a new movie. Louis is endeared by him, but that doesn’t seem to matter since Harry Styles is already taken.

♥ Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore | 113k | M

As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

♥ Here In The Afterglow by fondleeds | 88k | NR

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”

- 1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

♥ Nicotine by KrisStylinson | 42k | E

"We're two different types of people, Liam. He likes sex and drugs, I like theater and tea. Trust me, we'd never date." Except they would, they do, and neither of them plans on letting go anytime soon.

"Just because you can get me hard doesn't mean I like you," Louis whispered. The fact was, he didn't like Harry right now, not at all. Not even a bit.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry murmured, his breath fanning over Louis' cock as he spoke. "You done telling me how much you hate me so I can suck you off?"

♥ California Sold by isthatyoularry | 123k | M

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

—————

if you feel like you need more, don’t hesitate to ask me :)

[kumacyy]

Hello how are you me im doing good can i request a one shot where nanami and fem!reader are at a mall (and can the reader be chubby?) and the reader look at a girl that is thinner than her and nanami notices this and her takes the reader home and has gental sex with her and prasies her and tells her she is beautiful and she doesnt need to change?

You're Perfect

Hey!! It's good to hear that you're alright sorry it took so long I had a writer's block so I hope you don't mind me going silent for a while anyways I hope you like it.

《Warnings》: 18+, gentle sex, praising, and body worship

Wc:

Unedited

Nanami Kento x Chubby! Reader

You were walking with your very handsome daddy boyfriend in the mall bonding with each other since we sure as hell all know that Nanami needs a break. Especially when a certain man child is nearby. But enough of that you and him were walking around the mall doing some window shopping and occasionally buying clothes.

Whilst you were walking around you noticed a HUGE crowd of people some were screaming some were taking their phones out but they're mostly pushing each other running to your direction. 'Probably someone famous' you thought and unfortunately for you; you got dragged by the crowd no matter how much you held on to nanami your grip just slipped and ofc this caused you and nanami to panic.

And getting dragged caused you to meet the lady that the people has been going crazy on... it was Kitagawa, Megumi (from say I love you) out of all the models that you have seen she was the one you loathed the most (sry I still hold grudges '^') I mean with just a single look at her pictures in the magazine you immediately knew she was fake. Well maybe loathed is too much but you still hated her so at first interaction with her you grimaced on the inside knowing it would offend her if you did it openly.

"Oh! I'm very sorry I just got dragged in the crowd" you apologized.

"No, no it's fine I understand it wasn't your fault anyways" she responded.

"Anyways sorry again bye!" You said trying to leave immediately while respectfully giving a wave.

"Farewell!" She said while waving her hand in response.

And with that you dissapeared in the crowd trying your best to navigate through it and of course because you're a clumsy hoe person you tripped and fell well almost fell luckily for you your sugar dadae boyfriend was there to catch you and with that you were thankful. Once both you finally left the crowd you were back to window shopping but with you more spaced out.

I mean could you blame yourself you just met a model a slim model to be more precise. The more you think about her the more insecure you become and nanami having to always be busy does not help at all. I mean what if he was just using his job as an excuse to mingle with women. No. I doubt it, he wouldn't would he? I mean he's a handsome and muscular man he can easily attract women and the fact that he settled with someone like you a fat girl is just weird.

And with more thoughts going through your head the more you get insecure which results with you unconsciously scowled at the thought which did not go unnoticed to your boyfriend. He knows you're thinking ill of yourself your expression alone made him think you're insecure which means he also knows that you were doubting his loyalty which hurt him not gonna lie. But that wouldn't stop him from loving you nonetheless.

He's for sure has to comfort you at home in a way so that you wouldn't think ill of yourself nor doubt his loyalty. It's a win win situation he gets to comfort you and you get to know how much he loves you plus he's been missing you for a while now.

And with that after hours of window shopping it was finally evening. While going home the atmosphere in the car was very tense and awkward for you but to nanami he's just thinking of ways to make sure you know he's loyal. Once you guys want home he immediately locked the front door and placed your things on the ground and went to grab your wrist. Not too hard to hurt you just enough so that you won't break free and dragged you to your shared bedroom.

Of course you didn't expect this after you went home you just expected it to be awkward so you were definitely confused.

"Nanami?" You questioned

"..." he didn't respond he just kept dragging you to the bedroom.

And once you finally reached the bedroom he immediately locked the bedroom door and pinned you against it. And started kissing you in a gentle way that you found very comforting and kissed back. Seconds later you guys released being out of breath he started giving you butterfly kisses.

"I love you so much." He mumbled in a husky voice it was low but still audible enough for you to hear.

And hearing what he said made you skip a beat and blush so out of embarrassment you hid your face on his chest which also made you hear his heart beat. It was beating very fast as if he was nervous to make the wrong move. While you were deep in thought he carried you to the bed and made you sit on it.

With a plop you snapped out of your thoughts and looked at nanami confused and with that he started to take your clothes off in a very gentle way like he's handling a very fragile object. After your clothes has been removed completely leaving you in your underwear and out of instinct you immediately covered your body with your arms. Which he had predicted and held your arms instantly uncovering it and started kissing your body that you were insecure about.

"Chu~ I love you" he said while kissing your cheeks.

"Chu~ I love this" he said again but instead of kissing your cheek he kissed your nose.

"Chu~ and this-" he said kissing each and every stretch marks on your body.

"Chu~ and this-" he continued and kissing your stomach and thighs.

"Chu~ and this of course" he said kissing your curves (hips, waist, bobs and a$s)

"Chu~ and this as well" he said kissing you body hair (armpit hair, leg hair, arm hair, and the hair underneath your belly button)

(A/n please keep in mind I'm not saying you guys have these insecurities it's just there because I think those are some of the things that most people have insecurities on (I researched about it) and also mines we all have insecurities all we have to do is to accept them.)

And with that it made your insecurities and doubts get washed away solely because you saw and heard how sincere he really is on about how much he loves you. He then pulled away and took his clothes off hastily and eagerly and after he took his clothes he is now in front of you buck naked. And with him standing it gave you a clear view of his huge cock which made you Yelp and cover your eyes immediately and made him chuckle at how cute you were being.

And he took your underwear of and carried you and placed you on his lap making you straddle him and entered in your womanhood which made your breath hitch and moan for having to be stretched after months of not doing it. And since he's a very patient man he waited for you to adjust which wasn't long. Since it was specifically made to take his cock in.

"N-ngh. yo-u.. can m-move." You stuttered having a hard time speaking because of the pleasure you were receiving.

And with that he started to gently move you and with you also helping by moving up and down. Then the room was know filled with skin slapping, and moans and groans of pleasure.

"A-ahh~"

"Ugh~"

And after going at it for hours you guys finally are close to your end which you both know.

"I-I'm close.." he said

"I-I'm c-close too.." you said

And with that you finally released together which made you scream in ecstasy and him groan loudly and with that he finally pulled out and placed you on the bed in which you were still in a dazed state and went to put his boxers on and went out the bedroom to get towels and water bottles then came back with fresh underwear for you.

And went to clean you up and gave you water which you thanked him for and then layed beside you and pulling you into his embrace.

"I love you so much" he said kissing your forehead

"I love you too" you said snuggling closer to his chest and slowly drift to sleep.

After seeing you asleep made him smile lovingly ant your sleeping face and mumbled to himself then started drifting to sleep as well.

"You're Perfect..."

Hey guys I hope you like it and thanks so much for reading.

[mixchsm]

In Sickness and In Health - Matchablossom Quick Write

Kaoru could feel himself sweating. It wasn’t like a normal ‘it’s hot’, it was a panicked sweat. His pulse was racing and it felt like he couldn’t breathe. All he could hear was Adam’s sickening voice- it made his stomach churn hearing it.

“You’re my little blossom~” he’d coo, his hand traveling along their smaller frame. All of this under the supervision of Kojiro, lingering in the shadows and wishing he’d never seen it.

Kaoru tosses, furrowing his brows as his heartbeat quickens. The more he hears, the worse it gets.

“Little Kaoru~” he hums. “Such a pretty face, for a man.. But you should remember.”

“Remember what?” a naive Kaoru smiles, before he’s face to face with a skateboard.

“You’re boring.”

He shoots up, blood curdling screams filling the room as he covers his head and tucks it into his knees. Kojiro, who was sleeping beside him, immediately shoots up. He’s worried someone’s broken in, or Kaoru’s broken something.

“What happened?” he gasps, touching their back. “Kaoru, baby, was it another nightmare?” It’s obvious they can’t hear him, so he pulls them to his chest and tucks their head under his chin. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Kaoru to have nightmares. They’d toss and turn all night until Kojiro grabbed a hold of them. Of course, after the incident with Adam, they had worse nightmares resulting in the screaming panic attacks. It took an hour or so each time to calm them down, so he waited it out until Kaoru seemed to be more coherent.

“Baby?” Kojiro whispers, kissing the top of their head. “Can you hear me?”

“Mm..”

“What happened this time, can you tell me?”

“He called me boring..” he sniffles, “I remembered all the times I was with him.. And then when he..”

Kojiro hushed them, kissing their cheek gently. “It’s alright, baby.. It’s okay. Can you go back to bed, you think?”

Kaoru doesn’t respond for a moment, just nuzzles into Kojiro more.

He clears his throat, leaning against the headboard as he stroked their back, “Alright baby.. We can say like this.

By later in the morning, Kaoru was still a hot mess. They’d cancelled all their meetings and remained laying on the couch. On days where Kaoru was like this, Kojiro closed the restaurant and stayed with them. He was in the kitchen when there was a knock at the door, and he quietly crept over to open it only to see Reki, Langa, and Miya.

“Oh, hey kids, I thought I let you know the restaurants closed.”

“You did, but you never close it for no good reason.” Miya says, “Everything cool?”

Kojiro glances back at the living room and sighs, “Kaorus having a rough day. Im stayin’ home to take care of him.”

“Is he sick?”

“Something like that.”

“Can we come in? Maybe we can cheer him up.”

“I doubt that..”

“Kojiro, who is it?” Kaoru finally whines, his hand slinking over the top of the couch.

“Just the kids, babe.”

“Oh.. Let them in..” he murmurs, “You didn’t feed them today..”

Kojiro smiles, knowing that Kaoru would’ve never reacted like that ten months ago. He steps to the side, allowing the kids to walk into their apartment before walking back to the kitchen. He’d given them the options, continuing to cook what he was already making, when Reki finally broke the silence between them.

“What happened?”

“Hm?”

“To Kaoru.”

Kojiro sighs, “We’ve got an intense history with Adam, you remember I’ve told you a bit?”

“Yeah.”

“Kaoru’s goes a bit.. Deeper.”

“How?”

“Kaoru and Adam were a thing.”

“What? I thought you two have always been together.”

“We have. When we were friends, and figuring ourselves out, he and Adam got together. Im not gonna give you the gory details, but it was definitely not.. Good, between the two of them.” he sighs, “So Kaoru’s had a little bit of PTSD since then.”

“PTSD?” Langa asks, peeking up.

“Post traumatic stress disorder.” Miya says, “My dad has it, he was in the military.”

“I know that,” Langa says, “I got it when my dad died.”

“Im sorry to hear, kid.” Kojiro sighs, “Kaorus been dealing with it since then. But then when he skated against him.. It got worse.”

Miya tuned out the conversation, walking over to Kaoru curiously and tapping him. He wasn’t looking at him, but Miya could tell he was listening. “Kaoru,” he whispers, “can I take a nap with you?”

Kaoru seems to hesitate before rolling over, out stretching an arm to let Miya crawl beside him. He liked this comfort. Of course he got it out of Kojiro and being held, but this was just as fine. Langa ended up walking over, looking at the two curiously before leaning himself onto Kaoru. The three were comfortable like that, and this of course left Kojiro and Reki to sit and laugh quietly. Kojiro crawls behind Kaoru, wrapping his arms around them gently while Reki sat beside Langa, falling asleep

In a million years, Kojiro never thought he’d see the day where his best friend would let other people in. After Adam, he’d shut down and for good reason. Yet, there they were: sleeping with two teenagers so peacefully on one of the toughest days they’d had in years.

[anissanightyoung]

Paint my world | Minghao

[SUMMARY] At the age of eighteen, you received your soulmate mark, which reduced your vision to black and white. It seems as if fate is playing tricks on you when you receive a vibrant bouquet.

Soulmate au

1,450 words

You walked into your favorite café and sat at the corner table when the waiter asked, "Same as always ma'am?" You politely nodded and replied, "Same as always, Mingyu." And I thought I told you to avoid addressing me as ma'am because we're the same age.” That comment made him laugh, and he reminded you that this is his workplace, and his boss is inside. You loved this table by the corner because it gives you some sort of privacy where you can see and hear other people. At the same time, it gives them the impression that you’re not to be disturbed. You have always been independent and you are proud of that.

Your mother, on the other hand, doesn't approve. "You're already 24 years old and you still haven't met your soulmate." You would have been fine with that, but your family is putting more pressure on you as each cousin and friend marries or meets their soulmate. The problem is that you don't understand why they're putting so much pressure on you. "It's not like I'm avoiding him," you explain to your mother, "it's just fate." The way you see it, this is just not the time to meet him.

You wish your family could comprehend what you're going through. It's been six years since you lost the ability to see colors and could only see black and white. It's difficult for you to see someone else enjoying the world's colors and marveling at its wonders with their soulmate.

You went to work after finishing your meal at the café. You have a 9-to-5 career that you don't like, but the pay keeps you afloat, so you stick it out. Since you don't see colors anywhere in the building, you know your soulmate isn't one of your coworkers. You had hoped he worked there, but you knew fate wouldn't let you find your soulmate that easily.

“Good morning Y/n,” your co-worker, Seokmin, greeted you with a flower in front of you.

“Oh. Hey Minnie, what’s up?” Seokmin urged you to take the flowers from him. “What’s this for?”

“To brighten up your day.” and smiled at you.

“Thank you, Minnie. They’re wonderful, the colors complement each other.”

You were about to start work when you realized what you said. “..the colors complement each other?” So you immediately get the flowers and look at them, staring in disbelief at how the flowers have colors - white daisies with yellow-green pollens, surrounded by tiny yellow roses, with green scrunched leaves in between, wrapped in brown paper, with a yellow ribbon linking it all together. You were afraid your heart would fly out of your rib cage because it was pounding too fast and too hard. This can only mean one thing.

You’re close to meeting your soulmate.

--

On the other hand, Minghao is an art student, particularly skilled at painting when he lost his sight of colors. Did he get upset? Of course, he did. Minghao was very passionate about painting. He loved how intricate coloring can be. He knows he won't be satisfied with the color mixes until he sees it himself, which is why he dropped out of university for the meantime. Provided that the majority of people with color blindness as a soulmate mark were always artists, the administration was understanding of the situation.

His aunt is particularly fond of him, so she offered him a job at her flower store to keep Minghao occupied. Minghao initially hated the idea, as flower arrangements are often based on color palettes. His aunt, however, insisted that he only receive the same sort of flowers in complementary colors. Minghao agreed with this.

Did he hate you? No, of course not. He can't hate someone who is going through the same things he is, and the problem isn't your fault in the first place. It's something about which neither of you has any control over.

He had just finished delivering a bouquet that someone had requested three days prior and was about to deliver another when he decided to stop by a café where his friend, Mingyu, works. It's his first time there, and Mingyu has been pleading with him to come for months because he knows Minghao will adore the setup. He met Mingyu at university, and the two of them shared a passion for photography. He's one of Minghao's friends who respects his privacy about his soulmate mark, and he likes him for it.

“Where are you going to deliver those? They’re very pretty.”

Minghao replied, “down by the corner, that’s why I came here first. Can I order now and get it on my way home?” He has been craving that mushroom pasta that Mingyu cooked for him one night. So, he ordered that and asked Mingyu to add a drink that goes best with the pasta. He took a look around the cafe after he placed his order. When he saw a colored table, he couldn't believe his eyes.

“Hey, everything fine? You look pale,” giving him a worried look. 

“I-I’m fine, I’ll come back for my order okay?” On his way out he kept thinking, if that table has a color, that means you would’ve frequented that table to fill it. This means he'll just have to return to the café at various times in the hopes of bumping into you.

--

Minghao stuck to his original idea of visiting the café every day at various times to see if there were any new colors. So far, it seems that you haven't returned; the café is only black and white, with a single colored table. So he went during Mingyu's shift one day with a different goal in mind: to touch as many things as he could.

“Hey, how long have you been waiting?” He'd request Mingyu's schedule and inform him that he'd be waiting outside.

Minghao responded, “No, I just got here,” eager to enter the café and touch anything he could. It might sound strange, but it's the only way he'll be able to find his soulmate.

“So listen,” Mingyu says, interrupting Minghao's thoughts, “I know you work at your aunt's flower store, but my boss has been seeing you coming here for the past two weeks. He was considering-"

“-God I’m sorry Mingyu. Were you scolded because of that-“

“No! He was considering giving you a place here. They said you've been here a lot in the last few weeks  and figured that you have a lot of free time.” 

Minghao got embarrassed at that thought. It is true, though. He was eagerly waiting for you to return, awaiting the moment when he would finally meet you. "Uh, what job though?”

“Cashier, so they can transfer me to the kitchen full time.”

Minghao didn’t have to think twice. He needs this job to meet you. “Okay then. When can I begin?”

--

You didn't have time to return to the cafe for some reason. And after a few weeks, you're the most free you've ever been. As a result, you were happily trotting down the street on your way to the cafe. Once you were in front of it, you were astounded with the colored handprints on the window wall that read "here". “God, he's here,” you think as your heart races. With so many emotions running through your mind, you tried to breathe calmly. As you enter the cafe, the colors gradually appear before your eyes, until you notice that only a small portion of it is black and white.

Minghao experienced the same thing. He was having lunch in the kitchen with Mingyu when the colors appeared out of nowhere, glistening on his peripherals. “Mingyu, she's here.”

“W-what?! What are you doing! Get up and go!” Mingyu pushed him out of his seat, his face confused by the vibrant colors.

Both of you were looking down at your own feet as you followed the still black and white path. When you saw another pair that wasn't yours, you slowly looked up, stunned by the emotions and colors that were bombarding you, as well as the outline of the man in front of you. You see him, but due to the colors, your vision is still hazy. You were both squeezing your eyes, trying to figure out who was in front of you.

You were able to see this wonderful person in front of you when the surroundings went clear.

“Hey, I’m Y/n.” you were going for a handshake, to not make it awkward, when he pulled you to him and hugged you. “Minghao.” He takes a deep breath and exhales contentedly, “Finally. Thank you for bringing color back into my life.”

--

Ackkk finally. This was long overdue Im sorry. 🥺 I was overthinking every scene and I changed this plot around three (?) times. Hope you like it. 💖

[kuroo-shitsurou]

Auxilium (College!Xiao x College!Reader)

TW: mentions blood, depression, anxiety

note: it's my first time writing and posting something on tumblr so im sorry if it's bad!! reader is gn hehe.

Late February was never a good time for Xiao.

It was the second month of the year; People were starting to adjust and adapt to the ever-changing and progressing timeline. Although, he never really understood the concept of the "New year, new me!" shtick. Humans make decisions that eventually shape their personalities. What does a new year have anything to do with that? Does a change in the year automatically make you a good person? Does it make you less of an asshole than you might already be? He never really understood.

He found it rather silly, actually. Whenever a new year rolls around, Xiao would mutter silent curses to himself because he'd write the wrong year on his papers. Other than that, there wasn't any significant changes he made in his daily routine. He was still the same Xiao; The same anxious, mildly depressed, and coffee-high art major Xiao.

Now, Xiao was a respected figure in their college (or at least, that's what he was told). He was one of the most talented artists at Tokyo University, and professors have been eyeing him for a scholarship overseas (he, along with his brooding and mysterious senior, Diluc). His keen eye for details always produce great results as most of his portraits are featured in the university's gallery of students' greatest works. Not to mention, one of his larger canvas works were displayed at the Tokyo Museum, making him one of the youngest artists to have their art showcased there.

Admittedly, Xiao was aware of how people admired his talent. Unfortunately, due to a rough childhood where his parents barely showed him any love and affection, he had trouble reflecting his true emotions onto other people. That's why other art majors often labelled him as a self-absorbed, egotistical prick.

Xiao was the last person you'd want to compliment. It's not that he'd be a dick about it or that he'd scowl at you and act as if he was better than you in every way possible. It wasn't like that at all. It's simply because Xiao doesn't know how to handle compliments. He'll still keep his stoic face, lips pressed in a straight line, but deep inside, he'd be flustered to bits. He'd try to internalize his reply, stitching together the right words to express his gratitude, but it would always take him a few minutes. The person who complimented him would've already left after he finally constructed the sentence in his head. Not that he wasn't used to it

This led to Xiao earning his current reputation, as stated earlier. He was already expecting the rest of his college years to be spent alone in his studio, working on his artworks during the wee hours of the night, high on the fumes of his paint palette and his exhausted coffee machine.

Until you came.

Kaoru was... eccentric. You were loud, you were moody. He felt like you'd be the type of person he'd hate dealing with just because you was unpredictable. You were like the rain, and Xiao hated the rain.

He must have an Archon's cursed tongue, because he got paired up with you during the first semester of their second year in college. You were a familiar name to him, as you were in the same course since the first year, but he barely knew anything about you since you were in different classes.

"Hey, Xiao! I'm _____. I hope we can be good friends by the end of the semester!" His memory of your bright smile still remains vivid in his head. He wasn't really a brooding type like Diluc, but Xiao liked to believed that he presented himself as a silent person who had no intentions of interacting with other people. So, how were you so bubbly around him? Because she was forced to do so? You were to be his partner for the whole semester, after all. Maybe it was all formalities. Yeah, that's probably it.

"Hm." Xiao gave a nod in her direction, acknowledging your existence. you heard from your friends that the young artist didn't have a pleasing personality, but you weren't expecting to be shutdown from the get-go.

"Mind if I sit beside you?"

Again, a light nod.

You felt the awkward tension between you and Xiao, and you hated it. You were a person who hated it when people are uncomfortable in your presence. You didn't want to be a bother, and you did your best to make everyone like you. Not that you were a people pleaser, nor an attention hog, but you just wanted to get along with everyone.

The lecture was going to begin in twenty minutes, so the lecture hall was yet to be filled with people. You took the opportunity to strike up a conversation with the amber eyed man beside you, who was typing away on his laptop. Something about color theory and how it affects the perspective of people on different art types? You couldn't really see that well. He was a fast typer.

"So, Xiao, I heard that your painting was displayed in the Tokyo Museum last year. It must have been an honor. I was at the unveiling last year and I saw it up-close." You started off, testing the waters.

"And what did you think of it?" Xiao cringed internally. He meant to genuinely ask for your feedback regarding his art, but it sounded so harsh that he wanted to punch himself when he saw you wince (or maybe you shuddered because it was cold and you were wearing a sleeveless top? His nerves were getting the better of him at this point).

"Well, a lot of my friends told me that it wasn't anything special,"

Ouch.

"It was a large canvas. I can still remember how it looks. But, maybe that's because I'm at the museum every two weeks," You laughed. You noticed how Xiao's breathing noticeably changed after you started your sentence, and you have to admit that it sounded a bit too mean.

"You know, Xiao. My friends told me that your art was simple. Anyone could have done it. But honestly, they couldn't be more wrong. I love how your piece was painted. Auxilium. I'll never forget what you called it. That's... Help, right?"

At first, Xiao didn't want to listen to this person ramble about an art piece he made during one of the lowest points of his life.

His anti-depressants had run out during that one Christmas. It was 2:47 in the morning. He had morning classes the following day. He had a project to submit, but he was unable to continue working because of the unbearable pain in his chest. His head was throbbing. Voices were invading his mind. Flashbacks of his parents' negligence taunted him. He rushed to grab a glass of water, chugging it down in almost three chugs. He slammed the glass back onto the counter, smashing it into tiny little splinters and cutting himself in the process. His hand was bleeding, there were bits of glass on his counter and on his floor, but he couldn't care less. He was heaving, his breathing was unsteady, he wanted to die right then and there. His vision became blurry, but he rushed back to his studio.

With a bleeding hand, he picked up his brush and began to tear into his canvas. Not literally, but he started to create strokes onto the blank canvas. Different colors, different textures (he swore some of his blood got blended in with the area where he painted the sunrise, but it's fine. No one was going to notice, right?). He screamed and cried, wanting to throw the entire easel out his window.

It was Christmas. He was alone in his apartment. His anti-depressants ran out. He was having a panic attack.

That night led him to having one of the worst breakdowns he could remember, but he also ended up with a gorgeous painting that nabbed him a place in the Tokyo Museum.

"Help," Your voice echoed in his ears, snapping him out of his trance.

"People can tell me that it's nothing more than a simple painting, but the way that the sunrise was only showing in a segmented part of the canvas? The way that there were hints of red? It kind of reminded me how a new day can resemble hope but still contain hurt. Like, the promise of a fresh start isn't guaranteed a good one, right?"

Your words rang in his ears like a gong being hit continuously. He wanted to cry. People always complimented him and congratulated him about being recognized by art critics and national museums, but none of them ever really stopped to talk to him about his art. They were there for his recognition- not his work.

"I mean, you could begin with a fresh start, but wouldn't the remnants of yesterday still take a toll on your tomorrow?"

"Hm. Interesting take. To be honest, those specks could have been my blood." Xiao spoke up, to your surprise. A small smile formed on your face. Maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.

"My hand was cut up when I was painting that," He added quietly, not mentioning why his hand was in that state. "I think I accidentally added too much concentrated red. I couldn't blend it out the way I originally planned."

"Oh? But that makes it all the more great, though!" You beamed, "Maybe it was an Archon guiding you? I don't really believe in that stuff, but acknowledging some divine intervention once in a while can't be all bad, no?" You laughed.

"I guess you're right." For the first time in a while, Xiao actually gave someone else a small smile. It wasn't really a smile per se, but his lips curved even the slightest bit upward, and you decided that it was a win for you.

-

Fast forward to the second semester of their third year.

Late February was never a good time for Xiao.

It was the second month of the year; People were starting to adjust and adapt to the ever-changing and progressing timeline. Although, he never really understood the concept of the "New year, new me!" shtick.

It had been years since he was clinically-diagnosed with mild depression. So, why was he still that way? Shouldn't new years help him be a better person? Or something like that. Why was he still like this?

Late February meant the end of one semester, and the start of another.

What else did that mean?

His semestral feedback report (he refused to call it a report card. What was he, high school?).

"Xiao? Are you here? I bought almond tofu from Xiangling's place. Sorry for barging in, you weren't answering my calls." He heard your voice from the kitchen and he glanced at the clock on his studio's wall.

1:37 AM.

You were at Xiangling's place because you were working on a report about the history of acrylic paints or whatever it was. You were supposed to go home, but you still dropped by his apartment. He checked his phone.

[ 14 missed calls. ]

Yikes.

"I'm here." He answered meekly, but loud enough for you to hear. He felt tired. Defeated, maybe. He was blankly staring at the canvas in front of him. He has sketched the base of your face and upper body. He was planning on painting a portrait of his beloved to decorate his room with, but he couldn't find the energy to continue.

He could hear the soft "thud"s of your feet walking from the kitchen towards the studio, but he tuned it out with an annoying static he could only hear in his head.

Fuck. Where are they?

He rushed to the drawer next to his easels and rummaged around in a panic.

Where the fuck are they?

He kept a few anti-depressants in his studio because he spends most of his time here and he didn't have time to rush to the kitchen to get them if he ever got a panic attack.

"Fuck!" He cursed loudly, throwing the contents of his desk onto the floor. Some of his paintbrushes scattered on the wooden floor of his studio, marking the wood various colors. Maybe they're going to stain, but he didn't really care.

Xiao heard the footsteps retreating until he couldn't hear anything else except the constant ringing in his ears. It was annoying. It was loud. It started to make him want to split his head open.

"_____," He whispered, feeling his chest hurt and his throat tighten. The passageways helping him breathe seemed to close themselves, giving him a hard time and mocking him. It was coming back again.

Tears started to flood his vision, and they rolled down his red cheeks. He took the ponytail out of his hair and used two hands to tug at his locks starting from the roots. His breathing patterns became more erratic, but he tried his best to stay calm.

His knees and legs felt like jelly. He had to lean against the desk to avoid from toppling over.

Why? Why again? Why now? Why when you were here?

He screamed. It was loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but his care for any external entities was out the window the moment his eyes became blurry with tears.

Even though he was leaning against the desk, his legs still couldn't hold the weight of his entire body. His knees dropped to the floor, and he swore he must've dented the wood below, but he paid no mind to it. His knees were also aching, but he could deal with that later. He bent down and pressed his forehead to the floor.

"_____," He whispered again, longing for his partner. "Auxilium."

"Xiao?" The voice was muffled. His eyes were glued to the floor in front of him, but he knew it was you.

"Xiao, stay with me, honey." There was a hint of panic evident in your voice, but he was glad that you didn't let that get the best of you. You was still somewhat calm.

You kneeled down beside him, helping him back to an upright position.

"Honey, you left these on the counter outside." You handed him two tablets of his anti-depressants, and he gladly placed them in his mouth. You also gave him a glass of water, and he downed it in two swift gulps. Afraid that he might underestimate his strength, he returned the glass back to you instead of setting it down himself, nodding at you in the process.

You got into a more comfortable position where you rested your back against the wall, and you guided Xiao to follow you. It was a difficult task; He was very sensitive during his panic attacks.

His semestral feedback reports always made him anxious. He didn't have to please his parents anymore since he moved out years ago, but Xiao had this nagging feeling inside of him to do better with his academics. Nobody was really pressuring him to be a straight-A student, but did he feel like he needed to be? Who was he trying to prove himself to anyway? You knew about his sever panic attacks and how they were more active if he had a big event coming up. The first time you had to deal with it, you were still stiff and trying to learn how you could help. Now, you takes pride in yourself for being able to handle him in the ways you know would help him the most.

"Here you go, I've got you." You cooed, assisting him with moving. You laid his head flat on her lap and she began stroking his beautiful, tousled forest green locks. The highlights he had under the first layer of his hair started to fade, and you made a mental note to take him to a salon so they could get their highlights redone.

"You know, I've been listening to a lot of Coldplay lately," You started speaking, as if Xiao wasn't about to have a full-on panic attack. "Yellow would have to be one of my favorite songs. I guess it's kinda cheesy, but can you blame me?"

You used your free hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you." You began singing, voice just above a whisper.

"And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow."

Xiao was a reserved person who had a hard time dealing with other people because of his inferiority complex that sprouted when he was young.

"I came along, I wrote a song for you."

He didn't have love and affection growing up. He didn't know how to be the best person to talk to. He had poor communication skills. He was a mess, to be honest.

"And all the things you do. And it was called yellow."

You were the first person who looked past his rough and tough exterior. You were the person who showed interest not just in his name- but in him as a whole.

"So when I took my turn, what a thing to've done."

"Thank you," He murmured silently, noticing that the ringing in his ears vanished. His throat was beginning to open again, and he could finally feel the steady heartbeat he had in his chest.

"And it was all yellow."

Xiao curled himself into a ball, burying his face in your clothed stomach. You smelled a bit like smoke (maybe you ate yakiniku at Xiangling's?) and your faded cologne. It smelled like home. It washed a sense of relief over his entire being. He felt safe. He felt secure. He was being held like a child, but he didn't really mind. Maybe he needed this.

"Your skin. Oh yeah, your skin and bones,"

You craned your neck downwards to look at Xiao's figure. He finally looked peaceful. You knew about his rough past. You knew about the trauma he had to go through, but you chose to look past it because you knew that he was just afraid and... alone. He needed someone to be there for him, and you would rather the world die than leave him alone ever again.

"Turn into something beautiful."

You noticed how his chest started a rhythmic pattern of ups and downs. His breathing was finally steady. He looked at peace. He looked like he was right at home.

"Do you know? You know I love you so."

You couldn't help but chuckle as you watched him sleep in your lap. How could anyone think that this softie was an asshole?

"You know I love you so."

You barely whispered the last part of the song, but it was loud enough for his heart to hear it. Xiao hated when things were unpredictable; that's why he hated the rain. But now, maybe the idea of rain wasn't so bad. Especially since you were his rain.

"I love you, Xiao."

At that moment, you knew that the involuntary smile on Xiao's face was a response that contained more emotions than his words could ever bear.

"I love you too."