#and in his post he talked about how he’s literally known he was gay since sophomore year

[kodamaghost00]

30 Angel Dust Headcanons

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[Disclaimer!!]

This post will contain: NSFW,Sfw,Fluff,Smut.

It’s also Genderless for the girls,gays and theys!You’re a new resident at the Hotel in this scenario.

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Let’s begin!

He calls you “Sugar” and “Cutie” for sure. He loves seeing you flustered. It always gets him a good laugh.

When you first arrived at the hotel he flirted with you instantly since you’re his type. He got exited when you mirrored his demeanor.

He listens to music to calm himself down. Especially after a long shoot with Valentino.

You and him immediately start off on good terms. You casually flirt together too.

He trusts you very much. He told you about his experience with Val and you comfort him when he cries.

He’s the biggest bottom you could ever find but if you are a bottom/switch he’s willing to top you.

He asks you to review his porn and give your honest opinion.

Fat nuggets is your child now. You both are proud parents.

One night Angel,Fat nuggets and you slept in one bed together after watching a horror movie as a family… how adorable…

Angel isn’t the type to wake up early. You mostly have to wake him up. “Not now Sugar, daddy needs his beauty sleep.” You just laughed and shook your head after hearing that.

You help him on set often too. You hate Val but admire Angels dedication for his job. You mostly help with the make-up application.

He takes good care of you when you guys go out. It can be a handful if cherry is going to a bar with y’all.

After a long day he just wants to rest and cuddle with you. He warps his arms around you and lightly snores.

He wakes up in the middle of the night often due to nightmares… he wakes up with sweat all over him. “Huh… just a dream… it was just a dream…”

When he looks at you he has this one specific look of “I love you but I can’t tell you directly” . And it’s adorable…

You both definitely planned to rob a bank together.

Angel often says “If I would’ve known you during my living days, I think we would’ve get together perfectly.”

He will fuck the living shit out of you. He loves to sweet talk but also to degrade you.

Valentino even suggested if you two would like to do a porn together and angel was tempted to say yes. But for your sake he declined Val’s offer.

Sometimes angel gets knocked out at the bar so you and husk have to drag him to his room.

He’s actually also a talented artist. He drew you a potrait once and it looked incredible realistic. He never rlly explored this side of him though.

Often says “pspspspspspsps” to husk just to piss him off…

He basically has no type. He’ll just fuck what he likes.

He sees Niffty like a little sister that he has to babysit often.

He would go into a poly relationship with you and Husk.

Fat nuggets sleeps next to him every single day. No exeptions.

He likes interacting with his normal fans who don’t sexualize him and actually like his talent.

He often needs reassurance and calls with Cherry a lot for it.

Him and Cherry shit talk for literal HOURS. Especially about Valentino. “He’s the last one to criticize my hair… GET YOURSELF YOUR OWN FIRST AND THEN WE CAN TALK.”

The only thing he actually is grateful for is fat nuggets… he dresses him up often.

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MASTERLIST

Thank you so much for reading my silly headcanons once again. I know I’ve been gone for quite some time but life’s though rn… so we’ll see each other next post!!

- Your Ghost ༼ つ ╹ ╹ ༽つ

[omelepun]

Do you have any more kabumisu headcanons? I loved the last one you wrote, mind sharing more?

Sure!!! Thank you for asking anon!! These are mostly post-canon, welcome to my little deranged mind..

- Kabru likes it when Mithrun plays with his hair and run his hand through his curls because it reminds him of how his mother used to do it, its one of the things he remembers about her..

- Kabru calls him “captain” whenever he wants something, like *bats long and luscious eyelashes at you” my captain…

- Kabru’s charm grows with age so by the time he reaches 45 and starts aging like fine wine, people of the kingdom goes even more crazy for him. Mithrun, of course, loves him all the same but he gets jealous because that is his old man and he’s not planning on sharing. So he gets possessive (past self showing through) in really sly ways, Kabru in a hurry and forgets to button his shirt? He’s got his husband to do it for him (no one except for him is allowed to see his beautiful chest). Kabru complaining about shaving every morning because he thinks he’s unattractive if he doesn’t? His husband likes him hairy 😈…

- Mithrun’s restaurant is literally known as the prime minister restaurant because 9 times out of 10 you will find him in his very own designated spot at the back of the kitchen (where he can watch his husband work)

- During their dancing-around-each-other and codependent homoerotic friendship phase, oftentimes they had to be apart because Kabru had to travel for work since the kingdom was still in its infancy, so they stay in touch through letters. Mithrun, despite his perpetually deadpan expression, is very expressive (romantic even) in letters. So most of the time his letters consisted of:

“Kabru, today i got out of bed on my own”,

“Kabru, today i wanted to drink jasmine tea”,

“Kabru, must the sky be so blue and the sea so clear? I sleep at day and wake at night to stop thinking about you whenever i look at them”,

“Kabru, fleki let me tried her blunt yesterday”

- Basically he rizzed Kabru up through letters…yeah and Kabru falls for it, HARD. And he discovered a new hobby that is flower pressing, so he included his works in the letters.

- Bonus, a long long time passed and historians discovered their letters (very well kept), studied them and were like: “wow… they were REALLY good buddies huh” LOL shoots them with the gay erasure beam of historians!!

Thank you for coming to my ted talk *hops on a cloud and fly away*

[inchidentally]

What do you think was the turning point in Lando and Oscar's relationship?

I really want to know what other ppl think about this bc for me personally I don't think that moment has even come yet! I made this post about a landmark landoscar moment but I don't think that's been the big turning point into them going ahhh this is it, this is what our friendship is.

like I've said before in my way too many text posts, Lando has stayed thrown by the fact that Oscar doesn't even remotely fit into the Carlos and Daniel type of teammate he's used to. Lando's shown Oscar his quiet side, his fidgety side, his cocky side, his bratty side, his naughty/flirty side and all of them get the same quiet fond indulgent response from Oscar. guys like Carlos and Daniel have known exactly how to play Lando almost from day one and we get all this great content. but apart from a little bit of sass back sometimes, Oscar stays in that very passive role and the content we get from them is Oscar watching his very famous, very well-established and charismatic teammate that he's used to watching on a phone screen. occasionally we get glimpses of Prema or Alpine Oscar come out but it's very rare.

I feel like he's wanted to just get his head down this season and prove himself the way he's said he feels he needs to. he's clearly taking nothing for granted and I don't think we're going to see him start to fully relax until a good few races into 2024. Lando is F1/McLaren establishment by now and personally I think Oscar puts Lando into the same category of things that he's trying to prove himself to. that was terrible sentence structure but you get what I mean ??

(rest under a cut bc yeah I overdo it and also just my opinion so pls nobody take it seriously)

the general standard for F1 rookies is either to latch onto the personality of their teammate or show up with a persona already in place. in both cases it's because young men have crazy amounts of insecurity but are also desperate to ingratiate themselves into a group as fast as possible. Lando was kind of an exception bc he entered F1 basically as a zygote. he went from being Carlos' baby to Daniel's baby right up until the late 2022 season. but since then we've seen Lando learn how to do the flirty humor and cocky joking that pretty much all drivers use to navigate each other. Lando's not naturally as much of a cabrón as the rest of them but he's found a way to fit in that feels natural and that also tracks with his streamer/youtuber identity.

but literally NONE of that F1 rookie standard behavior fits Oscar. I was talking about this with @landofication and how Oscar's confidence and unbotheredness comes from a such genuinely harmless place - he simply doesn't perform for anyone and he doesn't fib to people even casually. he's incredibly well-raised and respectful and polite but he won't ever say things he doesn't mean. he won't talk for the sake of filling a lull in conversation AND he also won't say something controversial/opinionated if it seems unnecessary or cocky. for example !! Alpine made an absolutely wild assumption about his future without even speaking to him first and he very calmly stood up for himself and later on made a good humored joke about the drama when he signed the extension with McLaren. he's been more mature and calm than men twice and three times his age.

that kind of honesty is why it feels completely authentic when Oscar forgets the cameras are on him and he just tracks Lando's every move and laughs at all of Lando's jokes and forgets he's supposed to play a role. same with how genuinely supportive he always is of Lando even when he himself has had a bad performance. he also doesn't want to make himself being a Lando fanboy into ~hilarious media fodder~ he's just being open about respecting and really liking Lando. kind of like how he can giggle and get bashful about gay innuendo or a guy play-flirting with him (or Lando getting raunchy to make him blush) but I've genuinely never seen him bro-zone someone or play at acting gay for laughs. he can see why the flirting and raunch is funny but he doesn't get why acting gay would be funny.

and I'm not having a go at guys who do that kind of humor or saying that they're doing it offensively! I've said before that a lot of what Americans view as "gay" in non-American male friendships is extremely standard straight dude behavior everywhere else. flirting and being physical with your bros is different from flirting with women to them precisely because they won't date or have sex w their bros. there's no need for nohomo because it was never homo lol the lines are very clear. also a lot of that humor in F1 is a common survival tactic in male pro sports. like a way to have fun and bond while also knowing that cameras are aiming at you every second you're not in your driver's room or hotel room. it's way better to diffuse the tension of being constantly watched by being silly and flirty with your bros rather than trying to hold a real conversation.

but it's just not Oscar personally to initiate that stuff for laughs or to know how to pick up those jokes and play ball. just like how he's not starry-eyed about Lando as a joke! he's just genuinely got this fanboy crush he's dealing with as best he can during a high pressure rookie season. he's not bothering to try and complicate things further or push himself into Lando's existing social life.

BUT poor Lando is definitely still in the process trying to figure Oscar out. the little fixations Lando already has of his own like Oscar's name and Oscar being such a good boy who blushes at sex jokes and Oscar being so mature and patient even when Lando is fed up with filming and having a blood sugar drop are so cute to me because Lando's been slowly picking up on what Oscar genuinely likes about him and where his boundaries are. the photo of Oscar on lando.jpg with the heart caption right underneath it was unbearably vulnerable. such a tiny way to say I really like my new teammate even if I don't understand him yet.

I do however think it's driving Lando iNsAnE that Oscar has no concept of casual PDA. I'm hoping he's seen by now that Oscar isn't even like that with Lily and that it isn't at all personal. but oh my god he's so ready to be able to hug and cuddle Oscar and do everything he does with Carlos and Daniel and his pre-F1 big brothers like Max F, George and Alex. I'm all for respecting people's physical boundaries but hopefully Oscar thinks back to Lando's reaction here and let's Lando latch onto him more often.

aaaaaand that's all to say that I think we're going to have to be patient to see where Lando and Oscar land in terms of what sort of deeper friendship they have. their teammates relationship has already been tested thoroughly in just one season and it seems so solid which has obviously been first priority. but between Lando having such a full social life already and Oscar having gotten used to being by himself or socializing very privately I'm not expecting a carlando or dando type thing where they share friends or hobbies until they've gotten to know each other better individually. which in a way for me is really sweet because the amount that they already sync up and are comfortable together and share their team duties despite not having that immediate jokey rapport is just !!! I really love that. sort of how silly bubbly Lando is my beloved but quieter and more thoughtful Lando is maybe even a little bit more my beloved?

anyway thankfully we've got three more years locked down to keep seeing them feel each other out (huhuahauhsfhh)

[beanghostprincess]

also thoughts on yamace now that you've seen them

Stabbing me in the esophagus would have hurt way less than watching these two interact. I want to give you a proper answer like I always do instead of incoherent screaming, but I watched the flashback so recently that I'm still fucking sobbing. I can't stand gay people and their daddy issues. They make me insane. But since I'm an annoying writer, I will try and explain why Yamace has suddenly made his way to my top 5 ships in only three episodes. I'm pretty sure everybody knows all of this already because I'm late to the boom of episode 1015, but damn, I really need to talk about this or I'll die.

Okay, first of all, their personalities are so good together. They're both silly and fun to watch and impulsive and they want to be free from the chains their fathers put them in (metaphorically and, well, also literally). Perhaps the animation and direction of the show (especially on episode 1015 because oh my fucking goodness) helped a little in setting the romantic mood, but the interactions were all them. These two are literally something else.

To me, it's the angst of falling in love in the span of a night with a stranger with whom you have a lot in common and then watching them go, hoping to see them again- Like, basically being the only thing you look forward to because you don't have anything else except them and the freedom they promised you. And then watching them drift away between your fingers without being able to do anything. It's the frustration and helplessness and the way Yamato's life was the best it could've been and then crumbled down to the point where he had to place his faith in a man who he only knows because Ace talked about him constantly without shutting the fuck up because he's the most annoying brother ever (I love him).

And- I don't know, man. The chemistry is unmatched. Like, I actually felt I was interrupting their romantic moment watching that shit. If I hadn't known anything about them I would have genuinely thought they would kiss.

The whole "You can't choose your parents" and "What do you really want to do?" left me crying and sobbing on the floor. I literally had to sit down on the floor and cry because I couldn't take the parallelisms between them, both being children of important pirates and feeling (a very valid) resentment towards them. It's so good. The way they bond and talk to each other,,, The way they look at each other? This is the type of thing you only see in a romcom. Because quite literally: What the fuck.

And it's not only the obvious parallelisms or the fact that their personalities match perfectly (and also that, aesthetically, they look amazing together. But I think that's what happens when both boyfriends are hot af) but the fact that in the span of a night... Their feelings were so genuine. Ace wanted to come back, he just wasn't strong enough at the time and he was so positive and determined to become stronger so he would go back to Tama and Yamato,,, And Yamato? Waiting for Ace? Yamato waiting for his only friend to come back but knowing he will never do it? Yamato was so cute and excited to meet Ace, and seeing him hurt but it hurt less knowing that he would come back. The fact that he's dead takes that away from him. It just makes him have more faith in Luffy because he carries Ace with him.

How can a ship be so fucking good in only three episodes???? Going fucking wild. Ace taught him the meaning of living freely. Ace made him want to fight to be free. Ace changed his life and, honestly, Yamato changed his life too because it was the second biggest promise (first one being with Luffy, about not dying) he made and he had to actually train and fight to fulfill it. And he wasn't able to do it, but the whole "Luffy carrying Ace's promise" thing makes me go fucking wild.

Well, basically, to finish this: Expect a lot of posts from me about Yamace from now on and also a lot of edits to Taylor Swift songs.

This is so,,, God. It's so romantic. The lightning. The smiles. The fact that they're literally two intersecting lines that will never meet again. It makes me sick.

[starrylayle]

Soman’s failed POC and Queer rep in the SGE saga — And why criticism is essential to the movie (franchise)

[repost]

Before I start though, I’d like to say that if you have any argument about forced representation, dni. I don’t give a shit that ur faves aren’t white anymore — and please stop fucking harassing Soman and the cast about this non-issue.

Now onto the racial criticism of Soman’s work, which I don’t see talked enough about.

Being a person of colour does not mean you are exempt from racial criticism. I’m sure this is known by now, but in the books, literally everyone is white. Like EVERYONE. And not only that, the beauty standards he portrays and tries to critique (but then fails miserably at unfortunately) are so Eurocentric it’s quite disheartening actually - pale skin, small noses, coloured eyes, etc. The themes are also quite Eurocentric as well — if you had told me that the books were written by a white author, I would believe you.

Now, I’ve always given him the benefit of the doubt here, considering he was writing a middle grade series as a marginalised author, which was a lot more difficult at the time, and because he does genuinely try to improve his POC rep in the later books (even if that does include retconning character’s previous descriptions lol). In that same vein, the cast is also noticeably more diverse, and I truly applaud Soman for that. However, he has not said anything in regards to the racism the cast have been getting, which considering his influence on the fandom, would have been much appreciated. (The only casting choice he actually spent some time defending was brunette Tedros 💀💀 — like mate, get your priorities together!). Also, since whiteness is quite intrinsic to the core themes of the story (I’ll make a separate post on that later), I worry that the movie will unintentionally be pushing it. And if that’s the case, people should be allowed to critique this (hypothetical) poor depiction of race, without it being considered racist. (As previously mentioned — this excludes those fucking weirdos who just hate on the cast coz their faves aren’t white anymore 🙄🙄)

Ok so, in regards to the queer-coding/queer-baiting:

Just like being a POC doesn’t mean u can’t have internalised racism, being queer doesn’t mean u can’t have internalised homophobia, especially to other members of the community. I don’t know why exactly Soman struggles with writing queer rep so much (I mean I can understand in 2013 — but now plenty of middle grade books include queer characters), but he barely has any canon gay rep.

Tristan/Yara, who is not even specified whether they are gay or trans, is one of the first characters to die, with absolutely no resolution to their arc whatsoever - and their queerness is never mentioned again. The next confirmed queer couple are two backgrounder guys who barely have any significance to the story. The couple after that are two evil white boys, who are only confirmed to be queer after they both die. They are are the only relevant gay characters at this point — yet ofc they’re dead, white and evil. This wouldn’t be a problem if there were other (good) queer characters, but since that is not the case, it just comes off as rather… icky.

Now notice how all these couples, as poorly written as they are, are all (white) gay men? There are hints that Hester and anadil might be in a relationship, but it’s never explicitly confirmed.

In addition, sophie and Agatha are explicitly queer coded — (I made a post about it on my acc for anyone’s interested) — they even kiss!! Of course people are going to be mad that they were baited into a relationship that ended up being incesteous! Especially, ESP, considering that Agatha is now a Black girl in this adaptation. We barely see any white canon wlw couples in media — Black sapphics are almost unheard of in the mainstream, especially as leads. first kill, one show that featured a Lesbian Black girl lead (a Dark-skinned one at that!)— got cancelled. And this happens all the time. Lesbians/sapphics, esp sapphics of colour, ESP Balck sapphics are barely given any time of day in our media in favour of centring gay white men in queer narratives, and thus they have every right to be upset at the queer baiting.

I’m not Black, but as a queer woman of colour, Agatha’s character has always been very special to me. I’ve always thought she should be a POC considering how different her and her mum are from the rest of her cookie-cutter village, and queer because she did not fit into conventional notions of femininity. It would be so awesome to see Agatha, a queer woman of colour, as the lead in a high-budget fantasy series. But alas, that is too many marginalised identities for the general audience.

Not only that, the twin reveal was just plain bad writing. It had absolutely no bearing at the story whatsoever and is never mentioned again. It was just done purely for shock value, and for that, I will absolutely critique Soman.

I know that this discourse is tired and worn out — and understandably so, it’s been years. However, now that this movie is approaching mainstream — At worst, this queer baiting can already add to the whole ‘lesbian relationships aren’t serious’ and other terrible stereotypes. At best, it deprives sapphics of much needed representation in mainstream fantasy films.

Remember, unlike with the books, we as fans have the power to influence the story. If the creators see how unpopular the twist is with the public, they can probably change it. We can make a difference! Btw, this doesn’t mean sophie and Agatha should be endgame — I’d like for them to be in a short term relationship and be confirmed as canonically queer — Tagatha can still be the end couple! (Not hophie tho, coz sophie is a lesbian and I despise Hort lol).

[moldy-cheese-being]

Comic centric scollace prompt im thinking about writing soon (but its worded weird bc its unpolished brain to post style lol)

/under the cut bc PHEW its longer than the movie/

Just kinda, like, friends to lovers where Wallace helps scott thru autistic meltdowns, and scott is like "wow wallace is so nice to me about my meltdowns. Like, he doesn't get mad at me or make fun of me he just helps. And hes really good at helping too... Huh, he actually does more than any of my exes ever did... Hm... Whatever, its just bc I've known him for so long and we're like, best bros" but then he starts developing ✨f e e l i n g s✨ and since hes our beloved fucking idiot, he literally has no clue whats happening 💀 and he starts wanting wallace to hold him ALL the time, instead of just during meltdowns or when he (this 'he' honestly means both of them) knows one is about to happen. And starts acting weird, and feeling EXTREMELY embarrassed during meltdowns. And eventually he's just kinda cuddling with wallace after a meltdown, and scott looks up at him and has the "oh fuck. Oh no no no" moment (you know the one. We've all done it at least once) and goes to stephen and is like "HEYY STEPHEN, MY DEAREST PAL! My only other gay friend- how uh- how did you know you were gay?? And that you liked jospeh??? " and stephen (ofc) laughs at him and is like "omg who is he? Whos the guy that turned scott 'straightest dude out there' Pilgrim gay?" And scott just like looks down and Stephens like "WAI- NO- NO??? NO WAY?!??!?" and then actually helps and scotts like "well fuck what the hell do i do" and then manages to avoid wallace for like a week until, low and behold, another meltdown where wallace has to calm him down. And wallace takes his chance to ask wtf is going on w scott, and scott just starts crying again and is like "no i can't tell you you'll hate me and you're my best friend and my roommate and i can't ruin this" and wallace is like "dude wtf are you talking about??" So scott does the dramatic ass "I LOVE YOU, OKAY!?" and wallace just laughs and is like "omg did u really think that would make me hate you??? Guy, i love you too." And scotts like "??? Really???" And wallace laughs again and is like "yeah. Why else would i put up with you?" And they have a lil talk and agree to date :33

with mayhaps a short epilogue of them just being cute & gay

[mirkwoodshewolf]

A departed farewell; Eddie Munson x reader

*Author's note*

To all out there, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! Okay so this one is kinda heavy but after getting reintroduced to the great film known as The Crow, this little fic was born and I wanted to post it up on Halloween night. But there is also some heavy warnings which I will say below, so to the faint of heart or those at are easily triggered, I won't be hurt if you decide to skip this fic. Have a happy Halloween (and if you don't celebrate it, have a good day/afternoon/evening).

Warnings: Eddie's death scene, drug use (not just weed, I'm talking hardcore drugs shown and mentioned here), depression, angst, some fluff, Vamp Eddie(? You decide), death.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

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Dustin Henderson and Steve Harrington walked out along the wooded trails all the way to Reefer Rick’s boathouse.  In his hands, Dustin held some wild flowers that he had picked before he had Steve drive him up here.  They stopped before the boathouse and Dustin placed the wild flowers amongst the pile of already decaying flowers that had been placed there throughout the year.

“I still can’t believe it’s been over a year since it happened.” Dustin said weakly.  “He didn’t deserve any of this. And he deserved to have a proper burial. Why did I have to break my damn leg?!”

“You didn’t break it. But you can’t blame yourself for what happened Dustin. You didn’t know Eddie was going to do what he did.”

“I just……I just still can’t believe he’s really gone. He of all people didn’t deserve what he got. I mean the people we lost when all this started, they didn’t get any of the shit that Eddie got. This town—hates him. Still hates him. They really think he did all of this and we can’t change that.”

“It sucks, I’ll admit that. But small minded people can never be changed, no matter how hard we try. At least we know the truth that Eddie Munson went out a hero. A hardcore, metal hero.”

“Have you and Robin tried talking to (Y/n) recently?” asked Dustin.

“Do you really need to ask?”

“Right, dumb question.”

“As her twin brother I know we’re supposed to rag on each other at times, but now I really mean it when I say it. She looks like she’s been through hell, chewed up and then spat back up. She’s not sleeping, she’s barely eating. And what’s worse are the drugs.”

“You mean…..”

“I wish dude, she’s been at the hard stuff. Don’t know where she’s getting it but I’ve seen the syringes and rubber bands. I can’t stand to see her in that much pain. She needs help but everytime I try to talk to her about it she—”

“She was right there with him when he died Steve. Those bats literally held her back just so that she could watch as they devoured him alive. On one hand I don’t blame her for falling like that, hell if I were in her place and I saw Suzie die like that, I’d probably fall that hard too.”

“Don’t you ever say anything like that you little butthead! I don’t ever want you talking about drugs again understand?!”

“On the other hand, she isn’t grieving properly. And that’s on all of us, we were too focused on how we had to move on with the rest of the town after the earthquakes happened that we completely ignored (Y/n)’s feelings. And it’s not just your fault Steve.” Steve shook his head, stroking his fingers through his hair anxiously.

“I’m 12 minutes older than her. I’m her big brother, and—I wasn’t there for her. Not ever since we entered high school. These last couple of years we’ve managed to rebuild our sibling bond but now I……I’m losing her again man.” Tears started to build up in Steve’s eyes.  “I can’t….I can’t lose another person.” He thought back on Max and how he had failed to keep her safe.

She was a sarcastic child who suddenly came in when she and Billy came by but after reading her note, she had admitted to him that he was the big brother she had hoped Billy could’ve been for her, and it all happened ever since he stepped forward to keep them safe when Billy came looking for her.  Sure he got his ass beat but he was willing to keep himself in the line of Billy’s rage and not let any of the kids get a single punch.  Now—now when she needed him most, he failed her.

Dustin looked up to see that Steve had buried his eyes behind his right hand and saw how his shoulders began shaking as he choked on his sobs.  Dustin gave Steve a one armed hug.

“We’ll get her back. We’ll get them both back.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’m not. But it’s all that’s going through my mind. And I’m not gonna rest until we finally find a way to kill Vecna and send that son of a bitch straight to hell.”

“You’re a tough kid Henderson, hell of a lot tougher than me.” Steve ruffled his hair then the two of them left Reefer Rick’s boathouse and drove back to town.

*Halloween 1987*

It was Halloween night and unlike in the years before, Hawkins wasn’t celebrating Halloween this year.  There was no yearly town hall Halloween party, no trick-or-treaters going out and about to get candy, not even the high schoolers dared to try and host a party of their own.

At Forest hill trailer park, the crack that had spread from this part of Hawkins had actually driven most of the trailer homeowners to leave Hawkins all together.  Most took their RV’s and fled, while others just packed whatever they could and skipped town or ended up homeless and were currently staying at a shelter on the other side of Hawkins.

A hand suddenly shot up from the cracks and began crawling out from the earth.  Groaning and grunting in agony as he pulled himself out from the red light of the Upside town glowing from beneath the earth.  Once he was free, he lay there on his back exhausted and stared up at the night sky.  The stars shining like diamonds high above the abandoned trailer park.

Suddenly the man heard a meow and when he opened his eyes, a long haired black cat stared down at him with piercing green eyes he could make out from the light of the full moon.

“Loki?” the cat let out a purr as his eyes squinted but then he licked the man’s finger before nuzzling into his hand.  He lifted his hand and stroked through the cat’s long soft fur and asked. “Wha—what happened here?” suddenly something flashed before his eyes.  A flash like seeing the tv suddenly go static after a power outage.  He gripped his forehead before he found himself standing up and walking forward.

He stumbled about, falling a couple of times but as his vision kept flashing he kept standing back up and trudged onward.  He saw himself standing on top of his trailer, shredding on his guitar.  A swarm of bat-like creatures surrounding him and two other people, he then found himself falling down once more but he also saw himself falling, this time off a bike and he had been attacked by one of those bat creatures.

He saw himself stand up wielding a spear as well as a trashcan shield with nails sticking out and he stood up getting into the same position as he saw himself in that vision.  He then saw the girl from before coming toward him calling his name.

“EDDIE! EDDIE!!!”

“(Y/n)?! What are you doing here?! You weren’t supposed to come back!”

“I made a promise Mr. Frodo! A promise! Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee. And I don’t mean to, I don’t mean to.” She told him.  He shook his head and found himself saying as he heard himself in his vision say.

“Into the fires of Mount Doom milady?” She nodded and together the two of them stood as the bats swarmed around them before charging head on, the two of them using their trashcan shields to block off the attacks.

He copied his fighting movements of spear and shield, as he saw the girl, (Y/n) use a bottle of hairspray and with a lighter, she had created her own flamethrower to burn any bats that came near her.  He then felt and saw himself being choked by one of the bats and felt himself being pulled to the ground. 

His arms and legs were pulled outward and he saw the bats beginning to feast on his flesh.  He saw and remembered the pain of their teeth piercing his skin and digging out chunk after chunk of flesh.  All the while he could hear (Y/n) screaming out his name as she was forcefully held back by the bats.  Their tails wrapped around her arms, legs, neck and stomach, even as she pulled to free herself, they pulled harder until suddenly they dropped dead.

She crawled over to his bleeding body whimpering out his name and picking him up into his lap.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no baby! Teddy-bear! Don’t you leave me don’t you die like Boromir did!”

“Bad huh?” he choked up.  Soon another voice spoke up, this time a younger man’s voice assured him.

“No, no you’re gonna be fine we just need to get you to a hospital okay?”

“Okay.” He choked up.  Together (Y/n) and the young man tried to pick him up but the pain in his body was too great as he pleaded.

“I-I-I think I just need a second, I need a second, okay?”

“Okay, okay we—we’ll give it to you.” (Y/n) assured him as she rested his head on her lap, stroking through his hair.  He looked up at both (Y/n) and the young man and strained out as blood started coming up his throat.

“I didn’t run away this time right?”

“No. No baby, you-you didn’t run. Though I wish you did. Whatever happened to having no shame in running?” she asked him.

“You both are gonna have to look after those little sheep for me okay?” he told them.

“No! You’re gonna do that yourself!” the young man said but he found himself saying along with his vision.

“No man. Say you’re going to look after them. Say it Henderson.” He saw as the two of them were sobbing over him.  (Y/n) took his left hand and raised it up to her face, the blood along his arm seeping into her hands but she didn’t care.

“I’m gonna….I’m gonna look after them.” Henderson choked out.  He then found himself looking up at (Y/n), only at her even through his hazy vision as he asked her.

“And you…..fair Ravenna.” She choked out a sob.  “Please smile for me…….please.” with as much strength as he could, he managed to move his index finger along her jawline.  She kissed the back of his hand and gave a small, sweet smile.  “Good…..cause I…..think I’m actually going to graduate. I think it’s my year sweetheart—Hen-Henderson. I think it’s finally my year……” he remembered feeling the blood starting to rise in his throat, preventing him from speaking full sentences but he did manage to make one last statement before he fell silent.

“I love you guys.”

“I love you too.” Henderson wept.

“This belongs to you Eddie Munson, and always will.” He felt her hand cup the side of his face, watched as she leaned forward and felt the soft touch of her lips on his bloody ones.  Even with the taste of iron that was now seeping between her lips, she dared not move as she kept the gentle, loving kiss going until she separated from him.

And it was at that moment he had felt himself slip into darkness.

He remembered who he was.  He was Eddie Munson, three-time senior of Hawkins High.  Dungeon Master of the Hellfire club, and the love of his life was (Y/n) Harrington.

Eddie stood up and walked towards a trailer that had somehow miraculously survived the earthquake.  He opened the door and knew that no one was home as the place had been ransacked and just left behind for anyone to have.  Loki followed him inside, racing into the bathroom and hopped on top of the sink.

Eddie stared at himself in the mirror as memories of him and (Y/n) together flashed through his mind.  Them cuddled on her bed when he’d sneak over to her house.  The times they’d both try to cook something only to end up nearly burning the trailer down and his uncle having to stop the flames from spreading cause the two of them would be panicking too much.

Seeing her read all her favorite fantasy books from Tolkien to C.S Lewis and even J.M Barrie’s Peter Pan.  Him hovering over her as she would be sitting on a chair while she read and kissing her neck and face, pleading for attention.  And even though she tried to fight it, giggles would come out from her lips until she ended up succumbing to his will and they’d end up making out, or even going further beyond that.

The love he felt for (Y/n) both filled him with joy and agony.  How could he leave her like that? He knew that she had many people in her life abandon her.  Her parents, her friends, even her own twin brother had left her behind.  He was all she had and he left her.  His anger rose until he snapped and punched the mirror with his bare fist, breaking it in half.

His knuckles bleeding until he saw them heal up in the blink of an eye.  He turned to Loki who merely looked at him and slowly blinked before letting out a throaty meow.  Eddie dug through the cabinets and drawers of the bathroom until he had found some white base makeup and black lipstick.  He dipped his fingers into the white base, rubbed his hands together and covered his face in white makeup.

With the black lipstick he drew down from his eyes what almost resembled tearstains, as well as covered his lips black and even drew a line upward at the corner of his lips.  He stripped out of his torn and bloody clothes and managed to find a skin-tight along-sleeved black shirt, a long leather jacket, black pants and some old black boots.  He donned on the new look before turning over to Loki who raised a paw at him letting out a small meow.

Eddie rubbed Loki’s head before picking him up and walked out of the bathroom.

“I blame myself for wrecking your home Loki. I’ll bet it hasn’t been easy for god knows how long it’s been. But I’m going to make this right.” Loki meowed and as Eddie sat him down, Loki ran out the trailer and he followed the black cat.

At the Henderson household, Dustin had been pretty much kept under his mom’s tight thumb.  He wasn’t allowed anywhere unless it was school and back home.  Hell he was lucky if he was able to even get to visit Max once if not twice a week just to see how she’s doing or if anything had changed (even though nothing had. She had been in her coma for over a year now).

As rain now began to pour down heavily on this Halloween night, he looked at his old Ghostbusters proton pack from three years ago and thought back to simpler times.  He wished that those days would come back, long before the whole Upside down and he and his friends were the four weirdos who loved to play DnD all day and night at each other’s houses.

He heard a gentle rap at the window and when he turned around he saw Loki sitting right outside his window.

“Loki?” he remembered seeing the long-haired black cat over at Forest hill whenever he’d go to visit Eddie.  He opened the window and allowed the drenched cat inside.  “I thought you had gotten caught up when the Upside down opened up, guess (Y/n) was right to name you after the Norse god of mischief.” Loki let out a meow.  “Oh yeah, think you can let me dry you off?” Loki let out a merp (a mix of a meow and a purr) and Dustin left to get a cat-sized towel that his mom uses on their cat whenever he got out.

When Dustin returned with the towel, he gently dried off Loki then allowed the cat to lick himself clean.

“What are you doing all the way over here anyways?” Loki paused and turned to the corner of Dustin’s room and there he saw a figure hidden within the shadows.  Dustin jumped back fearfully and Eddie said.

“You know you gotta learn to shut your windows Dustin Henderson. You never know what freaks lurk in the night.” Dustin narrowed his eyes as he heard the voice.

“I can’t believe it…….Eddie?”

“Nice to see you again butthead.” Dustin took large strides across his room and embraced Eddie, tears falling down his face.  Eddie hugged the young boy back and Dustin looked up at him.

“How did—I mean how is…..I saw you die. How are you alive? Does (Y/n) know? When did you get back? How long have you been alive? What happened?”

“Henderson, you’re rambling like a mad man.” Eddie stopped the young boy’s frantic question asking.

“Sorry.” Dustin said meekly.

“I honestly don’t know how it happened. One moment I was dying in (Y/n)’s arms and next thing I know, I’m crawling out of a gateway from hell. I don’t even know if I’m really alive or not.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie walked over to Loki and stroked down his chest before trailing his finger towards his right paw.  He knew that Loki once had been attacked by another stray cat and his right paw never fully healed, so now anytime someone goes to touch that paw, he’ll bite since he had been declawed by his previous owners.

After Eddie got a nasty bite and Loki went over to sit on Dustin’s dresser now, his tail twitching.

“Eddie what the hell did…..”

“Just watch.” Eddie showed Dustin how the nasty bite wound now began to close up, just like what happened to his knuckles after he had punched the mirror.

“Holy shit.” Dustin muttered.

“But that’s my least concern right now. I need to ask you some questions. How long has it been since that day?”

“It’s been over a year. It’s 1987 now, Halloween. Of course no one really celebrates that holiday here anymore ever since the gates opened and split Hawkins in four ways.”

“I take it we didn’t kill Vecna?”

“Nancy, Steve and Robin definitely laid one on him. But there wasn’t a body after Nancy gave him one last shot to the chest. Will even says he can still feel him, that he is weak but bidding his time.” Eddie looked down grimly.  “We…..also lost Max. I mean we sorta did but she hasn’t woken up yet. And I’m sorry Eddie, I’m really, really sorry. But the town put all of this mess onto you.”

“No surprise there. Last anyone knew of me, I was wanted for Chrissy’s and Patrick’s murders. Once the satanic freak, always the satanic freak.” Eddie plopped down onto Dustin’s bed.

“I’ve tried to get Hooper to work with the government to clear your name but they’re still in the processing phase, which is basically them saying they’ve got too much on their plate right now to deal with this specific request.” Eddie perked his head up.  “Oh yeah, apparently Hooper was alive in a Russian gulag and Joyce brought him back along with Murray the conspiracy maniac.”

“All be damned. One of the only cops in this town I actually liked back from the grave. Guess we have that in common.” There was a brief moment of silence before Dustin said.

“Eddie……” Eddie looked up at Dustin and knew what the kid wanted to say.

“There’s nothing you can say Henderson. What happened, happened. Me being associated with you had nothing to do with my death.” He stood up and walked over to Dustin.  He placed two firm hands on Dustin’s shoulders, looked him square in the eye and continued, “It was a shitshow there’s no question about it. But the fact that you were the first and only one to truly believe I wouldn’t do this besides (Y/n), I couldn’t ask more of a friend. Hell even a little brother. But don’t go getting a big head about it, okay?” Dustin slightly chuckled as tears fell down his face.  He wiped them away and choked out.

“I’ve missed you Eddie.”

“Missed you too yah little shit.” Dustin immediately held onto Eddie as tight as he could.  Eddie rested his head on top of Dustin’s as he patted the young man’s back.

“Eddie, there’s something else you should know.” Eddie separated from the hug and Dustin told him, “It’s about (Y/n). She…..she’s really spiraled ever since you—well you know. And I’m scared she’s going down a path she can’t come back from. It’s more than just shutting herself in or not talking to us. Steve told me she’s been getting into drugs. And I don’t mean the light stuff.”

“And what has Steve done?”

“He’s tried everything. And I know he doesn’t want to admit it, but she’s not just hurting him emotionally. I saw the faint scratch marks on his left cheek. I know she’s not doing it on purpose but…..I’m scared we’ll lose her too if she keeps going down this path.”

“I’ll get the info I need from Harrington. But this meeting never happened, understand Henderson?” Dustin nodded.

“Thank you Eddie. Love you man.”

“Love you too butthead.” With a loud boom of thunder and a bright flash of lighting, Dustin found himself once again alone in his room.

Over at the Harrington’s place, Steve was cleaning himself up in the bathroom.  Once again he and his twin had their daily screaming match of (Y/n)’s wellbeing, this time she had given him a hard punch to the nose and he had finally managed to get the bleeding to stop.

He walked into the kitchen and got out a beer, needing to take the stress out of him.

“Might wanna take something a bit stronger if you wanna take the edge off after a fight, trust me.” Steve jumped back but saw no one there.

“Who’s there?” Steve called out.

“Surely you know, after all this isn’t the first time I’ve snuck into this house.” Steve’s eyes widened and he immediately raced up the stairs and opened up his sister’s room and saw Eddie stroking his hand along (Y/n)’s acoustic guitar which sat at the corner of her room.

“This-this—that’s not possible. How are you—”

“Henderson asked me the same question.”

“Wait you saw Henderson? I swear if you’re one of Vecna’s tricks I swear to god……”

“One way to prove it’s actually me is that back in 81, I snuck in here to be with your sister after she had failed the SAT’s. Poor thing was so devastated she wouldn’t come to school for nearly a week cause it happened to be the time your parents came for their daily check in and she had a screaming match with your old man. So I came here that night and stayed with her. Then you barged right on in and said to me ‘Get out of my house freak! And don’t show your face around here again!’”

“Jesus Christ…..it really is you.”

“Nice to know when it comes to your sister you’re not that clueless anymore Harrington.” Eddie couldn’t help but mock with a smirk.

“If you’re here to mock me for being a horrible brother I already know that Eddie.”

“No, no I didn’t come here to gloat or to mock. Henderson gave me a brief summary on all that happened, but I want to hear your perspective.” He fully turned towards Steve holding up the locket necklace he had given her for a 16th birthday present their junior year.  “What happened to my best girl?” Steve sighed heavily.  He sat down on (Y/n)’s bed and confessed.

“(Y/n) was amess. At first it started off with her barely eating, then it was the constant nightmares of seeing you die over and over again. Then I noticed how she’d end up disappearing at night. I didn’t know where she was going until I caught her sneaking back in and her nose was bleeding. But not in the way where she’d been in a fight, and I didn’t want to believe it but I swear I thought I saw some white powder under her nose. Then it was the injections on her arms, I’ve been trying to get her to get some help but she’s lost it Eddie. Your death seemed to really fuck her mind up.”

“Jesus Christ.” Eddie mumbled solemnly.

“Now I don’t blame you, no way in hell am I blaming you. I just….It just pains me to see my twin sister like this. It’s like I’m feeling her pain like some weird twin telepathy if that shit’s even real. But I can’t stand to see her in that much pain, and for her not to know that she still has people here for her. Hell Henderson was there when you died too, and she’s acting like he wasn’t. You don’t think he’s feeling the same pain as she is?”

“She always did tease that we should’ve just grown a pair and shared custody of the twerp.” Eddie softly chuckled.

“She’s always struggled with depression ever since middle school. Our parents chose to ignore it and kept telling her to get over it or smile more. You’re not depressed, you’re just being dramatic. When she met you, that was probably the first time I’ve ever seen her truly happy.” Steve walked over to an old picture of her and Eddie together at the junior prom.  “Deep down I guess I also grew jealous of just how happy she was around you, and not me. Now I see that it was because of my selfishness that I drove her away. And even when I got our relationship back to the way it was before, I knew she’d put you over me in a heartbeat.”

“Your wrong.” Steve turned to him.

“What do you mean?”

“You remember how we were on Lover’s lake to find that gate where Patrick was killed?” Steve nodded.  “And you remember how you were dragged under the water, and I told you that Wheeler didn’t hesitate to dive in after you?” Steve nodded again.  “She wasn’t the first. In fact, the second you went down, your sister dove in straight after you. Even for not being the best swimmer, she dove straight in after you. She does love you Steve. Like you said, twin telepathy is a serious bond. Now old King Steve, he wouldn’t have dared try to help (Y/n) in her grieving stage. But you’re not him anymore, you’re her twin brother Steve Harrington. The one she always believed was still somewhere deep inside of you.”

Steve scoffed but Eddie came up to him and placed a hand over his chest.

“You’re still trying, still fighting for her. But before you can save her, you have to save yourself. Not just for what happened to me, but for all that happened. That includes Mayfield.” Steve’s eyes slightly widened.  “I’ve seen how you are with her Harrington. Ever since that mall fire, I’ve seen how you’ve come around to check in on her, how you’ve always tried to be there for her at school, and how you’ve been with her since I found out about this Upside down and Vecna shit. How can you even try to help your sister when you’re clearly not ready to forgive yourself?”

Steve couldn’t believe it but Eddie Munson was actually making sense.  Ever since he had been knocked back into reality since all of this began, and ended up forming a bond with the kids who started it all, he’s been trying to be the big brother he naturally was to the kids who began it all.  He knew none of the adults (minus Joyce and Hooper) wouldn’t understand and that the kids needed someone to protect them whenever no one was around.  So he ended up becoming the ‘babysitter’ as he was deemed at first.

And at first it was an annoying title but now, ever since their first big failure, he began to truly understood why he was called that.  He felt a strong need to protect these kids because who else was going to when Joyce had moved, when Nancy decided to try and return to her normal life, who else was there to talk to about all this stuff? Only him.

“She’s been dealing with Daniel Thompson.” Steve told him.

“Daniel. If there’s any drug dealer that should be in jail it’s that prick. At least Rick and I never dealt to pre-teens.” Eddie hissed as he felt his teeth starting to grow a bit sharp before they receded.  “Does he still live in Hawkins?”

“After the earthquake he moved over to the next county about 20 minutes’ drive from here. You know what, screw it.” Steve raced over and grabbed his keys as well as his bat with nails.  “C’mon.” Eddie followed close behind them and Steve started up his BMW and drove out of his driveway and through the storm to get his sister back by any means necessary.

With Eddie’s abilities, they were able to track down exactly where (Y/n) had gone to see Daniel and to Steve, it looked exactly where a drug dealer would live.  A very run down apartment complex in what appeared to be an unsafe part of town.  The rain still pouring down as Steve grabbed his bat.

“So what, you gonna come with and we bust his ass open?” Steve asked.

“This isn’t West side story Harrington. Daniel isn’t one to be messed with especially if he’s using with her. You go in there ready to bust his ass in, he’ll have you shot dead before you can even blink.”

“So what’s the plan?”

“Just follow my lead.” They exited the car and crept towards the fire escape on the side of the building.  Steve then watched in shock as Eddie leapt up and across the railings of the fire escape with ease.

“That would normally scare the shit out of me but I’ve seen freakier shit than that to be surprised.” He climbed up the fire escape until he stood by Eddie as he looked into a darkened room.  He placed his hand along the window and said.

“She’s in there. They’re both high as kites right now.”

“How can you tell?”

“I can smell the burnt spoons and blood inside.”

“Blood? Eddie are you—are you some kind of vampire or something?”

“Or something.” Eddie slowly opened the window and slipped inside like an assassin on a mission.

Once he was inside the room, he saw (Y/n) passed out on the bed while Daniel was up against his headboard staring up into space after getting his high.  Eddie scoffed before letting out a low whistle that seemed to stir them both from their high.  (Y/n) let out a groan and opened her eyes slowly raising her head while Daniel looked on ahead.

“What the…..fuck?” As Eddie continued to whistle, he noticed a lightbulb just hanging above him and trailed his head around it like a dazed man.  He then once again felt his canine teeth grow into fangs as a sudden primal instinct came over him.  He slowly walked towards them then once he got to the bed, he let out a leopard-like roar, baring his fangs which scared Daniel but startled (Y/n).  “JESUS CHRIST MAN!! You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack!”

“Are his…..eyes glowing red? Damn his costume is like…..all in.” (Y/n)’s tone was slurred.  Eddie couldn’t believe that this was the woman he had fallen in love with.  She had fallen so far and so fast ever since his death, but he was going to make it right.  But first he had to get her away from Daniel for good.

“Just the morphine yah dumb bitch. This is just some….freak looking for some kicks.” It was then Daniel withdrew his gun out from under his pillow. “Time for you to get out of here psycho. I ain’t got no more stuff, me and the girlie here used it all up.” Eddie withdrew his fangs and his glowing red eyes turned back to his normal dark brown as he pulled up a chair and sat down.  He pressed his palm against the barrel of the gun and dared him.

“Take your shot Thompson. You got me dead flank.”

“You are seriously fucked up.” Daniel said.  (Y/n) laughed in her high as Daniel continued, “Like you really need psycho-therapy help you sick fuck.” It was then Daniel pulled the trigger making Eddie jump back holding his hand in pain.

Daniel stood up and cheered in his victory on a bullseye but after his brief cries of pain, Eddie soon began laughing as he showed them both his hand and he then let out a cheer as the bullet hole healed instantly.  Daniel’s joy soon turned to panic and fear as he muttered.

“Jesus Christ.”

“Jesus Christ. Stop me if you’ve heard this before; Jesus Christ walks into a hotel.” Daniel shot Eddie in the shoulder which made him lurch backward a bit but he recovered and started walking towards him, continuing with the taunting joke, “He hands the innkeeper three nails and asks,” another shot rang out this time to Eddie’s stomach.

(Y/n) got out from the bed staring at the figure in fear.  At the second gunshot she ended up tripping over the bed sheets trying to get away but for some reason she couldn’t help but stare at the figure before Daniel.

“Don’t you ever fucking die!?” Daniel demanded.

“Can you put me up for the night?” in a flash, Eddie had forced Daniel to point the gun down at his own leg, the gun went off firing straight through Daniel’s femur, blood splattering everywhere.  Daniel cried out in agony, clenching his bleeding thigh between his hands.  “Hurts doesn’t it? When someone takes advantage of your weakness? Imagine what she’s gone through before you coaxed her into your web. In fact I’ll let you feel it.”

Eddie extended his hand and placed it over Daniel’s eyes and with a deep growl, Eddie allowed Daniel to feel every ounce of pain both he and (Y/n) felt on that day.  Daniel let out a scream before he fell still and stiff as a board.

Once Daniel was taken care of, Eddie heard the bathroom door shut.  He dropped the gun and slowly walked toward the bathroom.  He opened it and saw as (Y/n) was waving her arms back and forth meekly holding what appeared to be an old razor.  Her screams of fear piercing the bathroom echoing as she pleaded for her life.

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!! STAY AWAY!!” Eddie grabbed both her wrists and got the razor out of her hands.  He pressed her back against his chest as he dragged her towards the mirror, her wailing making his heart ache but he had to fix this.  He had her stand before the mirror, one hand holding out her arm that had been filled with old and new puncture wounds, while his other hand held her across her forehead.

“You once said; What is grief if not love persevering? It is okay to cry and mourn for those we lost,” she then saw as the veins in her arm suddenly began to move and she felt the morphine slip down her arm.  “Drugs however is not the way to grieve.” (Y/n) soon felt her mind starting to clear up and when she turned to the man, she swore she was seeing Eddie looking at her.  He cupped her face between his hands and he said to her, “your brother is outside willing and ready to help you.”

(Y/n)’s lip trembled as tears poured down her face and she fell to her knees as she wept hysterically.

“Harrington!” Eddie called out and soon enough Steve came in and immediately he knelt down beside (Y/n) and held her in his arms.  Even as she felt him drenched from the rain, (Y/n) gripped onto her twin brother as tightly as she could all the while weeping out Eddie’s name.  As Steve rocked his little sister back and forth, he looked up at Eddie in sorrow but also gratitude while Eddie looked down at the sibling solemnly.

Eventually (Y/n) passed out from her hysterical sobbing.

Steve had taken his sister to the hospital to help get whatever else could’ve been in her system and she ended up sleeping all throughout the night, all throughout the rest of the next day up until it was nearly sunset.  She stirred away to hear machines beeping and the sound of voices speaking over intercoms.

She looked over and saw Steve along with Dustin talking with one another in a hushed manner.  When Steve noticed (Y/n) waking up, he came over to her saying.

“Sleeping beauty awakes. You okay?”

“A bit.” She said groggily.  “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital. Had to bring you here to get all that crap out of your body.” (Y/n) leaned up against her pillow shamefully.

“I am so, so sorry Steve. I am so sorry and ashamed of what I did. I know it doesn’t excuse me for my behavior, and I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I…..” Steve stopped her heartbroken confession by hugging his sister as tightly as he could.  “How can you forgive me so easily? I thought you’d never wanted to speak to me again?”

“I was never angry with you for turning to the drugs. I was upset because I was afraid you were losing your way.”

“I did lose my way Steve.”

“But you found it again. And I swear, I’m gonna be there for you every step of the way. No matter what it takes to help you get back on your feet.” The Harrington siblings smiled at each other softly as they embraced one another as (Y/n) said.

“Thank you Steve. You really are the best big brother.” After a few visits from the kids, as well as the older members of Hellfire, (Y/n) would soon be on her way to recovery.  After speaking with her doctor, he prescribed that she would need to go up to Indianapolis to their rehab center where she would get the coaching and help that I needed.

She and Steve signed a few forms and it was settled that after a couple of more days here for observation, she would take the first bus up to the capital for her rehab treatment.

Later that night as the hospital had closed down their offices to visitors and the night shift staff were doing their rounds.  (Y/n) lay there on her bed watching the Golden girls on the tv.  She was just about to fall asleep when she felt a cold brush of wind blow across her cheek, she turned and there she saw Eddie’s silhouette appearing from her window until he finally made himself known to her.

“Hello milady.” He greeted her with a warm smile and a gentleman’s bow.

“Eddie?” she softly whispered as her heart meter began to spike.  Eddie raised a finger to his lips softly shushing her as he walked up to her.

“Guess when you say your heartbeats faster everytime I’m in the room, you’re not lying. But it’s best we don’t alert the staff about my presence sweetheart.” He stood at the foot of her bed.

“Is it…..is it really you? Were you there that night? Or am I going crazy again from the drugs?”

“It’s not the after effects of the drugs, nor is this a trick from Vecna. I am here sweetheart.”

“I…….” (Y/n) was speechless.  “I’ve thought over a million, trillion things to say when I’d—” her breathing was shaky as she gasped softly, “How?”

“I had a mission to help three grieving souls who needed my words of wisdom. And you were the last one that needed saving.”

“So you’re…..you’re leaving again?” she asked sadly.

“Sweetheart I’ve heard and now seen just how my death has affected you. But there’s something you must understand. The Eddie Munson you once knew and loved has become someone entirely new. And I can’t let him near you until I’ve figured him out for myself.”

“But I…..I just got you back. Eddie I…..I see it happen every night when I sleep, and everytime when thunder rumbles, I’m back down there with you. Seeing those things rip you apart, not able to free myself or save you. Why must you leave me again?”

Eddie walked closer to her and hovered his upperbody over hers.  He leaned towards her left ear and whispered to her.

“This belongs to you, and always will.” He came back up, cupped the left side of her face.  His dark brown eyes staring down at hers as he leaned in closer to her face and captured her lips with his in a soft, hidden kiss.  (Y/n) raised her hand up and stroked along Eddie’s face with the back of her hand and buried her hand underneath his curls.

As the clock by her bed chimed midnight, Eddie separated from the kiss and took her hand into his.

“Where can I find you again?”

“You know that place between sleep and awake? That place where you still remember dreaming?” he asked her.  She softly nodded, “That’s where I will always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.” He told her in a soft, loving manner.  His eyes soon glowed red as he told her, “Sleep now meleth nin, sleep.” A feeling of exhaustion came over her as she soon fell asleep.  “Sleep until dawn.”

Eddie placed into her hands her necklace he had taken from her room and rested her hands over her chest.  He gave her one last look, almost as if he were taking a mental picture to keep forever in his mind before he forced himself away from her bedside and with the last chime of the clock, and a wave of the curtain, Eddie Munson disappeared from the hospital.

[aurorialwolf]

SO! Next installment of my series of posts detailing the ocs I made up for the next gen of redacted characters (aka the kids of redacted characters) At the time of writing this, the dynamic of Samuel Jr. and Adrian is winning on the poll I posted! Samuel Jr. is the kid of Sam & Darlin in my AU-ish thing, and Adrian is the son of Alexis Getty! Link to my in-detail info dump about Samuel: https://www.tumblr.com/aurorialwolf/757447421698654208/yall-ever-heard-of-epigenetics-okay-mildly?source=share Cutoff so that it doesnt make a super long post on ppls dashes

For starters, I am going to write out what I think needs to be known about Adrian for all this to hit home properly, I may make a longer post about him if I feel this doesn't cover it but thats for later - Full name: Adrian Getty - Ranking in the House: Duke - Son of Alexis Getty, he is the result of a fling between her and a man from another clan (this makes him literally an official bastard) - He vehemently dislikes his mother, as they have a very unhealthy relationship, considering how, like Samuel, he was turned by his own blood (except fully), and therefore, Alexis counts as his maker, and invokes him as a disciplinary measure. William has not stopped this, because he is unaware. - I have anon asks off so if u really love Alexis im sorry but u cant yell at me for this - He is a guard for Emily Solaire, daughter of William Solaire, mostly as a formality, and to give him a purpose within the clan. Now! Onto the actual dynamic Imagine that your child, and your ex's child, meet each other, and decide to continue your feud. That's how it feels for poor ol' Sam. Samuel and Adrian hate each other. Sort of. Adrian hates Samuel, but Samuel thinks it's really funny.

- They take turns provoking each other, and end up trying to beat each other up.. in front of multiple vampiric nobles.. not a great look for their parents - It's kind of gay? hear me out- - Samuel flirts a lot with Adrian, provoking him into sparring - Adrian is like.. definitely gay but has majorly repressed it, bro is in denial (mainly bc he assumes Alexis won't accept him, and will just harm him further for it :(( ) - Samuel is trying to help him? Probably. but also who wouldn't want to provoke their attractive vampire rival - Ok but he really is trying to help - After a while of meeting up at events, they finally hang around outside of official vampire territory, and mostly just spar, but sometimes talk! like normal folks - One day, after Samuel undergoes some p r e t t y b a d t r a u m a, he's all bandaged up, and Adrian shows up to spar, but decides to leave him to rest, despite Samuel's protests that he's still capable - At their next match, he goes way easier on Samuel, which leads Samuel to question him, saying that he's recovered now - Turns out, seeing him injured made Adrian realize he actually does care about Samuel's wellbeing, and they agree to a truce, deciding to not fight literally every time they see each other - They become friends! And they confide in each other about their problems, creating a really strong bond - They still definitely enjoy fighting though, since they are at about an equal level, making it a fun challenge - Before they became friends, whenever Samuel would show up somewhere (at like a Solaire event or sm) with Vivienne after they'd gotten some kind of treat (slushie etc) Samuel would bring him a lemon snack, and lemon is Adrian's favourite flavour :3 obviously Adrian pretends to be pissed off but he really does appreciate it Now how do their parents feel? Alexis hates everything about them hanging around each other. She repeatedly invokes Adrian to stay away from him and push him away, but Samuel finds a way around the invokation, using their blood bond (yes theyre blood bonded ooooh) to skirt around it Sam? He's kind of unsure at first, and doesn't really trust Adrian, but he warms up to it, and supports Adrian whenever he comes to their house for help or just to hang around. He makes Samuel and Adrian hot cocoa when it's cold out :3 and he's happy that his son is helping Adrian out, even if they had initially been fighting because of their parents' feud. Also both of them do notttt like the fact that their kids flirt given their previous relationship and how it ended,, Sam is worried it'll spiral into a similarly toxic situation and it just pisses Alexis off So yeah :3 Samuel and Adrian are actually really close, but it takes a couple years for them to get that way This really does sound like some rivals to lovers stuff huh hfgjksdhgks Taglist: @vegafan69 @darlin-collins @kxemii @professionallyyappin @sereh624

[verysium]

what do you read in your spare time? you’re one of the most eloquent users i know, id love to hear how you find the media you consume and what your favorites are

omg ei 😊 welcome back to the inbox! thank you for your sweet words although i'm probably not qualified enough to be considered the full definition of eloquent. i am going to preface this post by saying that i definitely don't read as much as i should, so this list is not going to be comprehensive whatsoever. the last time i even visited an in-person library was like half a decade ago, and since then my spare time has been nonexistent lmao. anyways, here are some of my favorite/most recent reads as listed by author:

POETRY

richard siken: i think siken is already well-known both in the literary world and in whatever booktok deems is popular culture. if you don't already know him though, he is best known for his poetry collection crush, which delves into themes of obsession, gay love, and violent eroticism. i actually read this chapbook unknowingly. as in i was hounding sketchy pdf download sites at 3 AM and saw a man with bloodied lips on the cover and decided to read it. he basically became my summer fever dream after that. the way he juxtaposes images is seamless, smoother than water. only richard siken can talk about violence without making it sound violent. i also enjoyed his other poetry collection war of the foxes, especially "portrait of fryderyk in shifting light." i think light is a common motif throughout most of his poems, and he manipulates it effortlessly. the most recent piece i read from him is "piano lesson." i have nothing left to say that he didn't already say, so i would just recommend reading it for yourself. he is the og big brain when it comes to word play.

ocean vuong: he's unforgettable, and i mean that literally because nobody forgets a person named ocean. time is a mother was exactly what the name suggests: an exploration of grief, loss, and the rewind of time after his mother's death. some of the poems are almost cinematic in quality. "künstlerroman" is my favorite because it feels exactly like watching a video tape in reverse. i think his most famous work is "someday i'll love ocean vuong." it was the first piece i ever read from him, and to this day, it remains my comfort poem.

silas denver melvin: i only recently discovered him through his chapbook grit. i think he's also on tumblr @/sweatermuppet. he writes a lot on the trans experience, and his work gives me a mix of southern gothic and country vibes. would definitely read his other publications if i had the time.

chen chen: one thing about chen chen is that he always comes to devour. my favorite works from him are "self-portrait as so much potential" and "song of the anti-sisyphus." you have to put on your thinking cap for some of his poems, but once you grasp the meaning, everything makes sense all at once.

franny choi: "disaster means without a star" was the entire inspiration behind my first rin fic. i relate to her more personally in regards to the diaspora experience, but her collections are worth reading in general because of the sheer quality.

pages matam: his poem "piñata" was what got me into slam poetry. his work mostly consists of political commentary which i feel is particularly relevant in today's social climate. "on learning america's english" also resonates with people who have encountered the entire losing/learning immigrant tongues experience.

laura lamb brown-lavolie: i've only read one spoken word poem from her, and tbh i only needed to read one. "on this the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the titanic, we reconsider the buoyancy of the human heart" is my two-headed calf poem. one day i will get this tattooed.

brendan constantine: once again, this was the result of me being chronically online coupled with the boredom of an august heat wave. i found "the opposites game" through TED. honestly, i was a bit unsure about it at first, but it's a cute little poem that makes you really delve into the intricacies of craft.

TEEN POETRY & PROSE

yasmeen khan: she could mouth her words onto every square inch of my body, and i would still be coming back for more. ingraining them into flesh is not enough. "movie stars" is by far my favorite work from her. she writes about femininity and womanhood so profoundly. it's tragic, but really i wouldn't have it end any other way.

kaya dierks: her writing is basically middle-of-nowhere small town stoner teenage life but personified. "crushed" is my favorite piece from her. the soundtrack for this work was definitely by ethel cain, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

FICTION

madeline miller: i was first introduced to her when i read the song of achilles. let's just say that book had me nonverbal for the greater half of three months. it was my metaphorical hatchet. i buried it once, and i never want to dig it up again. i read circe a few years later. the first time was during the blue hour at an airport, right between one red-eye flight and another transfer. i don't even remember that experience because i was heavily sleep-deprived. i read it again recently for a literature course, this time for academic analysis. overall, i enjoy the the heroine-centric narrative. typically, i'm a bit wary of novels with heavy feminist themes because they either project their agenda too strongly or they run the risk of misrepresentation. circe doesn't exactly have that problem. it was more about empowerment and less about exercising power over others.

charlotte brontë: as a historical figure, brontë was questionable, but jane eyre most certainly was not. that book rewired my brain, and that is saying something because i have never read any classic by choice. and it is so important to me that jane was the ugliest, plainest girl you could ever imagine. also cus i unironically enjoy angst, and this book was full of dramatic misunderstandings.

yoko ogawa: i love japanese literature, so there is no reason not to include this one here. "a peddler of tears" is one of my favorite short stories. i did not expect the ending at all, but it was welcome. something about violence, body gore, and dismemberment being framed as romantic and semi-erotic just gets to me. sign me the hell up. hotel iris is a hit-or-miss with some people. either you like the fact that art makes you uncomfortable or you shut it down completely. for me, i was alright with exploring some of its darker themes, but read at your own discretion.

NONFICTION

ross gay: he lives up to his name both in optimism and in carefree joy. probably one of my favorite creative nonfiction authors simply based off the accessibility of his writing style. easy to read and understand but still hits you with the full force of a semi-truck. i would recommend his book inciting joy. it's a collection of essays that delve into grief, but since this is ross gay, he makes it seem like a quintessential part of life.

paul kalanithi: sixteen-year-old me was mind blown by him cus before that doctors were shrewish old men with bald spots and sterile coats, not poetic surgeons who dissected the anatomy of word and recited t.s. eliot in the most heart-wrenching way possible. he is everything i want to become in both life and death. when breath becomes air literally does take your breath away.

[magicalrocketships]

Hello!! I'm really excited about reading more Max/Daniel dick chicken fic (how did the last ask put it?? escalating horny/feral gay chicken sexting maxiel fic? 🤲) Do you have a snippet you could share?? Thank you!!

I DO have another snippet I can share!!

This is from a fic known subtly as Daniel and Max play Dick Chicken. The snippet I've posted already is here, and there are another couple of bits and pieces in my dick chicken tag, but I swear I can never actually make those tag links work any more, so sorry if that comes up with literally nothing. Yay, Tumblr! I promise they do exist even Tumblr insists that's a broken link.

Anyway, have some Max/Daniel rimming. (E, 1700 words. Ever so slightly edited to remove a couple of bits of context-required spoilers but it should still make sense). The entire fic should be subtitled the one where they're feral for each other. This bit is the first time they've actually got naked together and not through a phone screen.

"You are late."

"I had to shower." Daniel feels like he should protest because they never specified a time, and anyway, only one of them has travelled half the fucking globe today, and he's done most of his sleeping recently in very uncomfortable airplane seats and it is not his fault that he's completely fucking insane over Max fucking Verstappen, who— who is just pushing down his shorts. He is just getting naked in his entrance hall and looking at Daniel like Daniel is the one making strange choices. Which he is, but at least he's still fucking clothed like a fucking normal person.

"You did not need to shower to come here, Daniel," Max says. "Take your clothes off."

Daniel toes off his flip-flops and leaves his phone and keys on the hall table. "I was gross, I needed to shower."

"No," Max says, holding his hands palm up and doing a little lifting motion with them, a take your t-shirt off, please request that Daniel obeys because it's either that or… not taking his t-shirt off. "It was fine. But now you are here, and you are not naked."

This is the most they've talked since Daniel left Red Bull. This is fine. There is probably nothing to say, anyway. They both know why they're here. He tugs his koala t-shirt over his head and lets it pool on the floor, tangling with Max's discarded clothes as Daniel shoves down his shorts. He's half-hard in Max's apartment, shorts hanging off one foot, and Max has his hand cupped around his dick like he could be posing for any one of those expressionless selfies he's sent Daniel over the past few weeks.

Daniel is playing the same little song on a loop in his head and it goes what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck—

Max tilts his chin up. "I am going to lick you out and make you come, Daniel."

Cool, Daniel thinks nonsensically, as any remaining brain power he still has takes a nosedive off the nearest balcony. His dick gives up too, and just gets as hard as it's ever got before. It even gives Max a jaunty little wave. Cool. Not embarrassing.

"If you still want it, of course."

"I want it," Daniel says, and something in his brain must still be processing information because he doesn't remember deciding to say yes. It just happened while he was still trying to take in the fact that Max Verstappen is naked in front of him, with his dick out, and the world still appears to be turning on its axis like everything is fine.

Fuck, Daniel remembers when he used to be straight.

"Good," Max says, and sets off for the bedroom like Daniel is just going to follow.

Daniel follows. Max doesn't take him to the bed, though, but to the dressing table over the other side of the bedroom. There's Max's stuff on it, discarded boarding passes and stuff from his pockets and detritus from travelling. Knocked over deodorant bottles, sponsor shit he's never even bothered opening. A watch getting dusty somewhere in among the still packaged Red Bull t-shirts. There's a mirror.

Max nods towards it. "You can watch yourself," he says, like that's a normal thing to say, and he drops to his fucking knees.

Daniel looks at him for the longest moment, at Max Verstappen hard and naked and on his knees for him, weirdly expressionless but clearly waiting for Daniel to get on with it.

So: Daniel leans over the dressing table, palms flat against the surface. He spreads his legs and looks back over his shoulder at Max kneeling behind him.

Max looks up at him then. His eyes are bright. "I am going to make you come, Daniel."

"Yeah," Daniel says. His voice is hoarse. "Please."

Max adjusts his position. On his knees, directly behind him, his dick just there. Hard. Glistening wet at the tip. Daniel's mouth is dry. He licks his lips. Then Max cups Daniel's ass in his hands. Palms to his skin. "I have thought about this a lot, Daniel," he says, spreading Daniel's ass cheeks like this is a normal way to touch someone intimately for pretty much the first time. Daniel's skin already feels like touch paper. One spark and he'll be decimated. "I have come already thinking about this."

Daniel stares at himself in the mirror. He is pink. Unshaven. Eyes wide. His throat works. "Yeah?"

"Yes, very much," Max says, and then he strokes over Daniel's hole with the pad of his thumb. Daniel's hips skitter forwards, thighs hitting the dressing table. His dick bumps up against the torn plastic packaging of a new Red Bull shirt. Daniel shoves the plastic away until it's just the t-shirt. He drags his tip across the shirt. It leaves a little snail trail already. Max's thumb strokes his hole. It is disconcerting, because Max has never demonstrated a second of warming up in any of his pictures or videos. His is a hot lap approach to orgasms, fast and furious, and right now it is just his thumb. Daniel is watching himself in the mirror and it is already too much and literally nothing has happened yet. He is watching his own destruction and it is too late to stop it. He is already destroyed.

But then— Max spits on him. He spits and it runs down Daniel's ass crack and over his hole and Max gathers it up and strokes him wet. He spits again.

Daniel blurts pre come onto Max's shirt. He swallows down a groan. He is watching Rome burn but he is Rome and he's the one who lit the fucking match.

"You can make noises, Daniel," Max says. He has switched to the pads of his fingers, more than one. Daniel can feel his hole fucking flutter and it is humiliating, but it is more humiliating when he presses back against Max's fingers. But then Max leans in and Daniel feels the warmth of Max's breath on his skin and then Max presses his tongue to Daniel's hole and Daniel fucking expires.

Max is all business. He is data driven, at speed, the track a learning experience beneath his tongue. He drags his tongue up Daniel's crack, sweeps of attention that have Daniel whimpering. He laps at Daniel's hole, kitten licks, only moving away to spit on him, dirty and so, so fucking hot. He cups Daniel's balls through his legs, not gentle, never gentle, like touch is function and the only outcome is Daniel's eventual orgasm.

Daniel drowns. He drowns in the mirror, helpless to stay quiet, skin flushing pink. He presses his ass back into Max's face, and Max digs his fingers into Daniel's thigh and licks at him like it's a fucking race. Daniel melts like ice cream. When Max's thumb presses inside of him, his tongue lapping around it, Daniel cries out. He holds himself up on the flats of his palms, leaning forward until his forehead is pressed against the mirror. His breath clouds, wet and warm, steaming up the mirror.

Max's thumb is replaced by his tongue. He is inside of him. He eats Daniel out like he's starving. It is filthy hot. Spit drips down his crack. His dick leaks pre come across Max's shirt, and for a moment, Daniel longs for him to wear it afterwards. Daniel marking him up like he's his. He gasps it out into the mirror.

Max sits back, his breathing ragged. His tongue is replaced by a finger, two fingers, then he's back and there is spit and his tongue and he covers Daniel's hole with his mouth and alternately sucks and blows like it's a fucking practice session and he's trying to find the best fucking line to take a corner.

Daniel shudders through it. He shivers. He is disintegrating, Max re-arranging his molecules with his tongue, but the mirror shows him whole. A fucking mess, but whole. He reaches down to grab his dick, but he's barely got his fist wrapped around it when Max is nudging his hand away.

"I am going to make you come, Daniel," Max tells him, circling Daniel's wrist with his free hand. "Not you."

Daniel drops his chin to his chest. "You're going to," he manages. "God, Max, you're going to."

"Good," Max says, sounding satisfied, sounding breathless, and then he's spitting on Daniel's hole again and it's so fucking gross and so fucking perfect that Daniel just forgets everything but the points of connection; fingertips circling his wrist, a thumb to his pulse point, Max's nose and his lips and his fucking tongue. His other hand splayed across the top of his thigh, his thumb to Daniel's ass. The dressing table is leaving lines across the tops of his thighs. Daniel hopes they bruise, hopes he can go back home and press his hands to the marks and know that they are there because he went looking for knives and he found Max.

He found Max. God, he's going to come. He's going to fucking come, and it's going to be with his dick untouched because Max is still holding his wrist. Max's mouth circles his hole again, lips pressed to his skin. Max blows. Max's tongue tickles him, laps at his rim, slips inside again.

Daniel shudders, shivers, trembles. He tips over into orgasm almost without permission, pulsing come over Max's new Red Bull shirt, his dusty watch, a discarded bottle of Right Guard. A single condom, still in its wrapper. He presses his forehead to the mirror and watches come seep into Max's shirt.

Max licks him through it, until Daniel's pretty much pushing him away, over-sensitive and out of it. He drops to his elbows on the dressing table, hands to his face. He breathes. Behind him, Max gets to his feet. His hand goes to Daniel's hip. To the small of his back. Down over his ass, spreading his cheeks again. He's jerking off. Daniel knows without looking, he knows those sounds.

He shifts so he can watch in the mirror. He meets Max's gaze. He's flushed, his face a mess, his hair everywhere. Pre come drips onto Daniel's ass. His hand blurs.

"Come on me," Daniel tells him. "Please, Max. Please."

[justaboot]

Oh yeah the dramatic end to the understudy nightmare week -

Demetrius actor came back in a heartbeat when I asked, was speechless with rage abt me getting hurt/the other actor’s incompetency & we took off early for lunch on his motorcycle (we have a growing collection of pictures of us as leather jacket twins, and I can’t post it but we look like we’re abt to call gay teens slurs). By the time hed heard everything in its entirety he was hurling his empty coffee cup at a garden wall, putting the lid and sleeve back on and then throwing it again. It was fantastic, I love having guy best friends, every ounce of feminism left my body for about an hour, like yes save me straight man I love being defended by men to men. (He was such a petty bitch at lunch, too. We rolled up to the restaurant late and he had to sit next to The Understudy, and he literally was like “thanks for ordering me a coffee” and just SNATCHED THE GUYS MUG. They were like uhhh…that’s his… and my friend was literally like “not anymore” and stared me down as he drank it YES bitchy men YES.)

The last two days of teaching together was a fucking DREAM, I fucked with him so much and it was so much fun, and doing the shows felt like coming home, it’s insane. Crazy supportive cast/friends, I felt so taken care of.

OH AND THEN, so Demetrius actor had called the director to be like “hey there were safety issues and I’m coming back this is not a request,” and I ended up talking to the director, who ended up SOMEHOW turning some of the blame on DEMETRIUS, FOR “taking over the put-in rehearsal,” when teaching the understudy the track. DEMETRIUS IS OUR FIGHT CAPTAIN ITS HIS FUCKING TRACK, and I both over the phone and in writing read him the riot act about how he competent he is and he was the ONLY reason I was safe at ALL. We are a TEAM we take CARE OF EACH OTHER get the FUCK away from my friend.

Anyway, new and exciting injuries have been making themselves known since Tuesday, been wearing a wrist brace and my ankle gave out onstage today during a fall so we were altering fight choreo mid-show on the fly. I’m just. Simultaneously feeling the most furious I’ve ever been and feeling more loved than I’ve ever been in my life. I love my cast and I love my friends and I love my job.

[officialgleamstar]

Personal DnDads Pride Headcanons

some of these are simple but most are paragraphs long because of who I am as a person (incapable of saying things concisely), so they're going under a readmore. vaguely organized by age group.

one quick note: feel free to cheer on or rag on any of these that you please, variety in opinion is the spice of fandom life! everyone's headcanons are so real and valid to me, i am a strong believer in having as many contradicting fandom opinions as you want. for this list, i just went with everything that is "default" to my fan content. others' transfem sparrow is shaking hands with my gnc sparrow and yes, i'm listing that one on purpose, because if you make fun of transfem sparrow, you are getting hit by my bat. be fucking nice.

please enjoy!

Season 1 Dads and Spouses

Carol is a lesbian. This is simply canon to me. It’s important that this is first and visible to everyone.

Bi/pan polyamorous Henry and Mercedes is also simply canon to me. Honestly that one might be fully canon based on some of the things that happen in Odyssey

Henry is unlabeled but in the sense that he calls himself ‘queer’, ‘bisexual’, ‘gay’, or ‘pansexual’, fully depending on his mood and the conversation happening

Ron is also unlabeled but in the sense that he has never thought about it in his life and isn’t intending to now

Glenn is bisexual but never talks about it unless someone else mentions it first, and he tries really really hard to never think about his gender once in his life. The queer angst I give Glenn could be a whole post of its own but just know he has issues. He does fuck men though

Darryl still isn’t really sure on his sexuality and probably never will be, but he’s actually explored it a bit, so that’s better than whatever the fuck was going on with him before the show started. Henry likes giving him subtle bear pride flag accessories because Darryl actually wears them a lot. His favorite color is brown, after all.

Jodie, Nicky, and Taylor all are bisexual with a preference for women. Sexuality isn’t genetic but it is for them specifically.

Morgan is also bisexual. Literally none of the season 1 parents are straight except maybe Samantha and even with her, my opinion fully matters on the day and how I’m feeling.

Henry and Lark have definitely had an exchange at some point where Lark asked him how it was to ‘experience twink death’, to which Henry just went ‘get back to me in a few years on that, kid.’ and Lark spent the rest of the week furiously moping because clearly, he’s a twunk, Father- (words of a man who did not take care of himself well enough from the ages of 18-25 to ever be a twunk)

This is my little shipper brain but Jodie only realized he liked men after being stuffed into the Odyssey and being around Ron 24/7 for months on end (and the demon stuff, but he didn’t know that yet for obvious reasons). In his timeline, he had a whole arc about it and now he’s persistently attracted to strange men who don’t make sense as well as women light-years out of his league. He’s still a little miffed that Henry doesn’t remember the very long conversations they had about it, but him and Nicky get to wear matching bi pride bracelets now, so he guesses it’s fine.

Kiddads and Spouses

Lark is bisexual. He has known this since kindergarten when his parents explained what the flag all over their house was and has never thought about it since.

Lark also helped Rebecca realize she was bisexual because she would ask him about it in a class they shared in high school

This is utterly unrelated to LGBT headcanons but I think Veronica and Rebecca grew up in San Dimas with the kiddads, and were friends with them in high school. It just makes sense to me

Unlabeled Terry Junior is something that can be so personal to me. In a general sense, he likes everyone romantically, and identifies enough with the asexual spectrum to wear an ace ring, but he doesn’t really see the point in putting a name on it. He’s just Terry Junior and he’s happy with that.

Him, Lark, and Nicky did have a group chat called ‘bisexuals with an agenda’ in high school though, where they would make plans for pranking or otherwise harassing their fathers during group outings. Terry loves Ron but that does not mean he is above ruining his day. It’s done with affection.

My thoughts on Sparrow could be a full fanfiction but gonna try to keep it simple (retroactive edit: did not keep it simple). Sparrow is the token cishet of the kiddads, but in the queerest way possible. He’s an Oak-Garcia, of course he’s explored himself very thoroughly. At current, he identifies as gender non-confirming cis man, but he has had periods of his life where he transitioned and then detransitioned. In early high school, he identified as non-binary. From senior year up until just before Hero was born, he lived as a trans lesbian. He doesn’t see these periods as phases, just as his identity changing over time. Currently he’s perfectly happy identifying as a man, but wouldn’t be wholly shocked if he transitioned again. Calls himself “cis but gender is obviously, massively, a social construct and so it feels unfair to expect myself to fit into these boxes when identity can be so fluid and-”

Rebecca still calls him her wife, and also a granola lesbian or MILF from time to time because it makes him laugh, and while Nicky was still in his life, he would send Sparrow trans memes a lot. Sparrow also has always liked being seen as non-binary, he sees it as ‘winning at being androgynous’. Competitive to the sense of nonsensical Sparrow my beloved

Sparrow always wears women’s clothing but that’s for autistic reasons. They just fit nicer for his brain. It helps the gender(tm) thing though, he near exclusively wore hand-me-downs from Mercedes throughout all of high school

Sorry for talking so much about Sparrow. He’s my favorite character so he is the focus of many of my thoughts. Anyways

Never been a huge fan of the ‘Grant was outed by his crush in the Forgotten Realms’ headcanon, I think Grant came out about a year beforehand. Long enough where everything about it has settled but it’s still new enough that Darryl forgot for a split second and thought Grant might have a crush on Killa during the Four Knight arc. He’d known he liked boys a while before that, and also his parents kind of figured he was gay most of his life since he had 95% girl friends

Marco is pansexual! He met Grant in college because he worked the front desk of their dorm building and would always wear a bunch of pride pins

Nicky was Grant’s first good friend who was a boy, I like to think that they were childhood friends. Grant announced this to his dad at the age of 10 by going “Nick Close is transgender now, so that means you don’t have to worry about me only talking to girls because he’s a boy.” and Darryl went “…Alright?” and then googled what ‘transgender’ means

Speaking of, Nicky realized he was trans because of Mulan. Both Glenn and Jodie, in their respective timelines, googled ‘How do I know if my daughter is a lesbian’ before he came out because Nicky would rewatch the reflection song so often and also the tomboy-isms. Everyone felt very stupid for being surprised when he cut all of his hair off, cried, and asked to change his name

T4T Nicky and Cassandra is canon and they rubbed it into everyone's faces when they were together, Anthony is just afraid of the truth

Cassandra is trans het. I love trans het people more than anything and I love her so this makes sense to me.

Veronica is non-binary, in the sense of “girl but to the left”. They/she pronouns, calls themself a girlie and a mom but not a woman, dresses in a kickass pantsuit at formal events. I’m also in love with her

Season 2 Teens and Friends

Hero and Normal are both trans. When Hero came out, Sparrow sat Normal down to explain why Hero was now a sister instead of a brother and Normal responded with “Well, that’s not fair. How come Hero can be a girl but I can’t be a boy?!” and Sparrow just stared at him for a really long time before going “You can be a boy, honey.” and they went thrift shopping as a family for new clothes the next day

Normal is stealth trans, mostly because Hero is the same way and he copies her, but also because it doesn’t really occur to him that he passes. He just figures that people knows even though he is on testosterone and binds and presents masculine. It helps that his family presents pretty gender-neutral as a whole, so most people assume he had long hair as a kid because his parents are hippies. They had a son and daughter, both with long hair. They now have a daughter and a son, both with short hair. To the general populace, nothing has changed, they just misremembered which kid was older.

Taylor is a demi-boy and spends every year growing more and more feminine. Definitely calls their gender something like ‘boy with a dash of girl on the side’ with their friends. Growing out his hair was a newer thing and he regrets cutting it, even if it was a super cool sequence and he looked like an anime protagonist, because he liked how it framed his face.

Cassandra has always maintained an openness about her trans identity, so Taylor’s the same way. He’s always got the he/they pronoun pin on (I figure this is normalized by the time of season 2, but he’s just very pleased about it), he has a variety of trans and non-binary pride pins that he cycles through, and they like painting their nails because it’s an easy way for them to feel a little more feminine.

Cassandra’s living room is decorated with a massive trans pride flag and LED lights. The first time the teens walk into Taylor’s home, Scary says “it looks like a Twitch stream in here” at the same time that Normal says “it looks like my sister’s room in here” and they high-five while Taylor yells at them to be nice.

Hermie is genderfluid and uses any pronouns. This is real to me. He has my own teenage trait of gender shifting every three hours and never knowing what to do about it and he will be suffering with this until he exits puberty, at which point he gives up and just sees what gender other people choose for him.

Hermie is also pan/ace! No further thoughts here. She just is.

Erica just goes by queer because she doesn’t think the common passerby deserves to know her rich inner life and she’s right, they don’t

I tend to say a lot that all of the S2 kids are bisexual, and I represent them as such, but I truly believe that Lincoln and Normal both have no idea what’s going on with their sexualities. They say they’re bisexual for bisexual teen squad reasons but Normal is going through a constant crisis of “Am I gay or bisexual?” and Lincoln looks up the definition of aro/ace on a weekly basis. Neither of them will ever express this until Scary goes “maybe I’m not bisexual, actually.”

On that note, Scary is a lesbian but she’s not going to realize that until college. For now, she’s rocking with the bisexuality and pretends it’s not weird that her ‘crushes’ on boys feel wildly different than her crushes on girls. Yes I am projecting. This is not a secret. We project onto Scary here.

[excanadianbacon]

I’m gay for a raccoon and the raccoon is just as gay as me send help

Okay…

So, I understand “hopping on the gravy train” is kind of cliche, but I promise I have a good reason for it!

…I guess I should start ‘Rambling on about it’ then!

(I’m so sorry, none of these puns were intentional, but they were too good to miss)

—So, Indigo Park;

what even I would’ve expected was another quick cash-grab game in the mascot-horror genre, turned out to be a game that managed to make me start binge-watching livestreams and video-essays about the game, it’s characters and its development on the whole,

Just like every other millennial and gen-z’er out there.

I know it’s absolutely normal for people to become invested in something so quick…

But it’s been a long time since I’ve felt so attached —so spoken to,

especially when I haven’t really been part of those big ‘band-wagon’ trends at all,

at least with the exception of forcing myself to watch shows with my friends —which again, I don’t do much of that either.

From what I understand, there are technically multiple small factors that have led me to become attached to this game.

But frankly, there all of really part of the one major reason why there’s just, that, ‘something’ —a “spark” if you will—that makes me click with a game for the first time in so many years that it physically hurts.

He’s the star of the show, the elephant in the room:

Rambley;

A cute, furry-raccoon —who likes trains!

Now, as anyone who knows anything about me will tell you, these two factors are inherently weaknesses in my mental psyche.

Why, you may ask? It’s simple!

Firstly, —I too— like trains.

Also, I come from Toronto, Canada — a city famously (or to some infamously) known for its love-hate relationship with its unofficial mascot: the trash pandas! They’re an animal which I got to know well over 13 years, 10 months and ~15 1/2 hours of being a Torontonian.

—Which leads me to the second-half of the other reasons I resonate so god-damn hard with the game, and Rambley in particular:

Isolation

It felt quite funny that the number of days that poor-old AI racoony’ spent alone in the abandoned park was almost exactly double that of the days I’ve been a ‘Quasi-Canadian’ living in the United States, with not much interaction with my family back “home”. I had a single trip back for the first time in multiple years.

—It brang back a lot of memories which so happened to be similar to the ideas mentioned during Rambley’s post-chase exposition.

That little break in his character just made my heart literally melt and shatter and implode all at the same time;

“A little heart-to-heart” as they say, but just.. the way he breaks and talks like a true person, things he isn’t sure about, didn’t know, shouldn’t have done, is painfully, gushingly personal somehow!

It’s also extra cool when he gets excited about restoring the park, as being a former (small) volunteer and hearing about railway preservation stories, you start to realize and appreciate just how much having that other person helping you means when fighting in these “David and Goliath”-esque battles to keep old or unloved things going when everything is telling you it’s impossible.

(Side note, the extra lines where Rambley showcases his sentience and lets you into the staff-only area after realizing Mollie is chasing you made me love him just that much more, and is also what makes me feel the game is just that extra bit special.)

Long story short (TL;DR):

The honesty, personality, and just general likeness of the characters hits very close to home for me,

if for no other reason than that I happen to have (in concept at least) similar experiences in terms of feeling (though thankfully not literally being) isolated from friends.

Cheers, Critters!

—A.

[sunnyie-eve]

22 | Date

Series: Unexpected

Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: bad date

| MASTERLIST |

"Stop Dani-ing me! I have to get ready for my date!" Dani opens her door shouting out at the boys calling for her.

"Wait what?" All three shouted out not knowing about it rushing to her room.

"You have a date?" Nick asks her, "Why was I not told?" He asks as well.

"It slipped my mind. I'm sorry." She tells him, "Now what are all of you in my room?" She looks at them through her mirror.

"We wanted to know more." Chris tells her.

"Are you meeting him there or is he coming to get you or what?" Matt asks in his turn.

"He's gonna be here in 20 minutes so I need to finish so can you three leave me alone please?" She asks and they don't leave her room, "That meant get out now." She gets up shoving them out of her room so she could finish.

"She's never even talked about a guy to any of us." Chris says as they go up the the living room.

By the time that Dani's date showed up at the door she was fixing her up a bit in the bathroom so all three guys answer the door to greet the guy. He was a bit shocked to see three guys open the door and not Dani.

"She's finishing up in the bathroom..." Nick says not knowing the guys name.

"Okay, I'm Elijah and you guys are?" He introduces himself.

"Sturniolo Triplets, I'm Matt, that's Chris and Nick. Dani's roommates." Matt points to each of them with a smile.

"Nice to meet you three."

"How did you two meet?" Chris asks Elijah since he was curious.

"Through a mutual friend so we've been talking getting to know each other hitting it off. She's really sweet and kindhearted."

"Yeah, her personality is amazing. That's what drew me to her wanting to get to know her more now after two years of our friendship online she's my roommate." Nick laughs.

"Really, that's how long you guys have known her?"

"Oh no, just him and her." Matt tells him, "Chris and I just met her a few weeks ago."

"A few weeks ago and now she lives with you?"

"Yeah but it feels longer. Plus Matt invited her to move in with us. She was going through stuff." Chris speaks up again.

"That's interesting."

"Sorry, sorry! I'm done now." Dani comes rushing down the stairs tripping so Matt helps catch her by wrapping his arms around her, "Thanks for the save even through I was closer to Chris but he didn't seem to care I almost died." She gives Chris a look while she smiles at Matt.

"I would have cared, I just didn't react in time." He hits her.

"Well, you two have a good time doing whatever." Nick tells the two.

"Thank you, love you." Dani hugs Nick goodbye then waves to the other to as Elijah opens the door for her.

"Nice meeting you guys." He nods his head before shutting the door behind him.

"He seemed nice." Chris looks at his brothers.

The car ride to the restaurant was quiet for Elijah and Dani mainly because he was still processing she lived with three guys. Inside being sat at their table they start their small talk which was nice but it went down hill once they got their food.

"How come you never mention your roommates were guys?" He asks her.

"Honestly, I thought you already knew. I've posted about them and it's very pubic too. Not just on my things but theirs as well." She tells him.

"Well I don't go through everything to research you." He gets a little snappy.

"My bio on Instagram literally has rooms with three annoying Sturniolo brothers. Is that really a problem?" She laughs a bit.

"Guy and girls can't just be friends. One out of the two will want to sleep with the other."

"I disagree with that statement because I've had plenty of guy friends and they never wanted anything. Also Nick is gay so I'm sure he doesn't want that. I'm not his type so." She laughs.

"What about the other two?"

"Matt and Chris are my friends too." She tells him.

"You don't know what they really feel about you. Hell the way Matt grabbed you and he was as the one to invite you to move in." It was his turn to laugh.

"That's true, I don't know what they really feel about me but to me they're still my friends. And Matt invited me to move in because I didn't have a place to go since I didn't want to go back to my brothers and his friend's place."

The two start to bicker more about her and the three so she pays for her meal and gets an uber back to the house since she told him it wasn't gonna work out going forward or just as friends since to him that's not capable of happing.

"Sadly Dani won't be in this video because she's out on a date." Chris starts their video.

"As much as we would love to see her fail at guessing us. We'll just have to do it for her." Matt speaks up.

"I'm happy she's finally out of the house meeting more people." Chris slightly tells the truth, "We constantly have her busy. But the dude seemed nice picking her up." He says as Matt tries not to show any emotion on his face, "I approve." Chris says not exactly telling the truth.

"Yeah, we've gotten protective of her." Matt speaks up again.

"Who would've guessed?" Nick acts like he's surprised.

As time goes on with them playing Dani arrives home acting like everything went well so they wouldn't ask to much since she knows how they are.

"Look whose back." Matt says as Dani walks up from the front door.

"Hi," She smiles but was forcing it.

"How was the date?" He asks.

"It was alright." She lies, "He was a gentleman. I'm gonna go change." She leaves going back to her room.

"Seems like something..." Both Matt and Chris says as they hear her door close.

"It wasn't alright." Matt finishes.

"He seemed super nice." Chris looks at him.

"Maybe a fake first impression?" Matt sighs feeling bad if that was the case.

"I feel bad then." Chris felt the same and so did Nick because she seemed excited for the date when they talked about it.

"Dani, come see if you can guess who this next one is!" Nick calls out for her so she joins them dressed all comfortable.

"See if you can do worse than me." Matt tells her.

"Bet,"

Nick shows the zoomed in pic and Matt says it was Chris while Dani beat Chris to saying it was Matt, "That's me?" He didn't believe it even zoomed out.

"Matt really?" She laughs at him, "You still can't recognize yourself?"

"How did you know it was Matt?" Chris asks her.

"Those beautiful eyes. I see them enough to know it's him." She says making Matt get embarrassed.

Nick shows the next pic and Dani shouts Chris and he thought it was Nick, but when Matt said it was himself he changed his answer to Matt too.

"That's 100% Chris."

"What?!" He didn't believe it.

"It's Chris." Nick confirms.

"Am I better than Matt?" Dani asks Nick, who tells her yes.

During round three with Chris and Nick, Dani still played a bit,"Matt!" Dani shouts.

"You!" Chris agrees.

"Me!" Nick says himself, "Me."

"That's Matt. The amount of times you have flipped me off motherfucker." Dani points at him so he shows it was himself, "Yes!"

For the rest of the round Dani quit playing since she stopped being competitive and just didn't want to play anymore.

"That was so fun."

"Dani..." Matt was cut off by Chris.

"Did better than I expected. She's one of us." He says making them laugh.

"One of us?" Matt repeats laughing.

"She's becoming a Sturniolo." Nick laughs.

"I basically am because I'm picking up some of y'all's habits!" Dani agrees as the guys lose it laughing, "That's scary. I'm moving before it's too late." She walks closer to the camera, "Bye y'all, I'm out of here." She walks off camera.

Later in the day while everyone was on the couch watching a movie, Matt decided to text Dani since she was way on the other side over by Nick.

Matt: So the date actually went terrible?

Dani: What gave it away?

Matt: The tone of your voice when you said alright.

Dani: Ha, yeah... He hates how you guys are my roommates. Guy and girls can't be just friends.

Matt: Nick is literally gay?!

Dani: He didn't care.

Matt: That's ridiculous. What else was said?

Dani: Guys and girls can't be just friends. And he used you as an example. The way you caught me and invited me to move in.

Matt: I invited you to move in because you didn't want to go back to live with Colby and Sam. I was helping you out. And if I didn't catch you, you could've hurt yourself. Was I supposed to let you just fall?

Dani: That's what I told him before saying things aren't gonna work out and we can't be friends because he said that's impossible.

Matt: I'm sure the next guy will be better.

Dani: With my luck? I might as well stay single for life.

[lotus-duckies]

the queerness of 2012 is really weird because it straddles the line of plausible deniability so well and the fact it's so obviously edgy teenage boy coded, so when something kinda queer happens you're like "wait was that intentional or" as opposed to Rise, where the queer coding is blatant, especially with its usage of gender nonconformity and literally putting a rainbow flag into the show

so anyway here's an essay about leo's bisexuality. yes this will be covering his crush on karai in a romantic context even though everyone hates it and wants to rephrase it as gender envy, i'm sorry but someone has to do it

The first question we must ask, does Leo have some kind of indication of having attraction to more than one gender?

There was a tumblr post recounting canon tmnt facts, one of which says the art book states that Leo has a 'man crush' on Captain Ryan.

Which, I am wheezing at the idea that the thing that makes Leo imperfect is the fact he has a man crush on Captain Ryan. Nothing else, just the man crush.

I did google the definition of a man crush because even though I am clearly just so manly what the heck is that.

-an intense and typically non-sexual liking or admiration felt by one man for another. -a man who is the object of another's intense liking or admiration.

Yeah that's approximately Leo's relationship with Captain Ryan, an intense admiration for a fictional man. Obviously, having a man crush doesn't automatically mean you're attracted to men, but given Leo's general behaviors in the show, I'm more inclined to believe he does have Some Kind of attraction to men.

Karai

The thing about Leo's crush on Karai is that it was executed in a distinctly different way than any of his brothers' love affairs.

With his brothers, they're very open about the fact they're into whatever girl the narrative has assigned them. Donnie's crush has been known by everyone since episode 1 and he and Mikey are not subtle about their admiration. Raph was talking about how cool he thinks Mona is and if turtles and newts can go on dates even though she was introduced as an antagonist before becoming an ally.

Karai was also introduced as an antagonist who Leo has some kind of attraction to, but he hid it. He refused to tell his family about it, only telling April who then chastised him about it. His family only found out by accident, and even then he either didn't tell them he liked her, shrouded in excuses of "We both like the fine craftsmenship of swords" and "I can see the good in her, I can save her", or begrudginly added "I guess I sort of liked her" at the end.

This reads as a very queer narrative, closeted kids discovering themselves and only their friends know out of fear of getting rejected by their families.

And this is also why I do think Leo has an Actual Crush on Captain Ryan. Trying to explain it as having an admiration for Captain Ryan and wanting to be a hero is much the same as trying to explain why he was hanging out with Karai, wanting to help her or admire swords.

His personality as a Very Good Boy who follows the rules and cares if they accidentally hurt people exemplifies the changes he went through from Karai's influence.

(also like. if space heroes is supposed to be a parody of star trek. girl star trek is so horny. and Leo says that space heroes has a ton of fans currently, implying he's seen the fanbase, and the very strong possibility that the fanbase is mostly populated by gay fanfiction

and yknow. Leo's the embodiment of 2010's tumblr fangirl, which has a lil queer autistic in it)

Karai is very visibly a lesbian, an edgy punk butch lesbian, and she and Shinigami lowkey embody a butch femme dynamic and the fact Karai is depicted as the more formidable, domineering force with a sword and Shinigami as a bit more pathetic with a cat is reminiscent of the japanese lesbian dynamics from this post. It's all very gay.

And she's an antagonist lesbian to Leo's closeted and internalized biphobia.

She represents the desire to give up and be swallowed by selfishness, forgoing responsibility and cleanliness in favor of having fun.

Leo is resistant to giving in. His attempts to do so immediately get shut down, and he's rejected by his family, even for a moment, for wanting to go do Bad Things. He tries to fix Karai, make her good and acceptable. But he slips further, eventually falling into Karai's circle to be gay and commit crimes against the Foot Clan empire.

In this way his sexuality is explored through self expression, the moral ambiguity, and transition from an absolute rule follower caring deeply about the affects his actions has on others to burning a building full of money. It's very classic "good girl getting corrupted" story telling, but at the same time it isn't, because Leo maintains an overall good moral compass, he just grew up. Sometimes killing people is a necessity, sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes people get hurt.

Being queer stops being this huge shameful, evil thing and it starts just being part of you.

[magpie-murder]

LITERALLY gay ppl. Upcoming spoilers for where mischief lies for anyone reading!!

When Theo and Loki both wished they could make the other accepted I wept. When Loki revealed he had the stones my mouth fell open and I had to put the book down. When Loki started his whole monologuing on how he caught Amora I needed a moment to be gay. This book has made me feel so many things and also the portrayal of Thor was so good because I feel it showed how much Odin really fucked up the relationship with him and Loki. Thor and Loki are brothers and Thor supported his brother when it didn't mean facing his father's wrath and the book just does this so well. The little moments of Thor going to apologize just after he threw Loki under the bus because with their father it's always "it's him or me"

i absolutely love all the asks about lwml, by the way ! i have not been doing so good lately and it's really nice to be able to discuss this book, it genuinely helps a lot

below the cut: spoilery ramble about the relationship between thor and loki pre-mcu (as shown in loki: where mischief lies) and how odin's abuse ripped apart and isolated the both of them

(rebloggers please do not tag as thorki)

oh my god the scene where thor throws loki under the bus... i could talk about that scene for HOURS.

this book gives so much nuance to thor as well, even though he's absent for the bulk of the plot. i absolutely adore it. and it's absolutely no wonder that loki ended up the way that he did, when he couldn't even find safety in his relationship with his own brother.

despite the fact that it was fucked up of him to do, and despite how deeply hurtful it was, it made so much sense for thor to do. and the implication that he is, on some level, just as afraid of odin as loki is, to the point that he'd be that quick to avoid sharing the blame??

thor KNOWS how poorly odin is willing to treat loki, and neither of them have the full picture, so he doesn't entirely understand WHY. it makes sense that he'd be terrified of odin, and i think that fact makes it hurt even more that he wouldn't protect loki in that moment. all loki had ever known from odin was being repeatedly and ruthlessly reminded that he is the second choice and the black sheep, and thor knows this on a deep enough level that he's terrified of being treated the same way, but he couldn't give loki aid at his own expense

i Love, Love, Love how impressive this book makes their mcu character arcs from Thor 1 through Dark World. even loki's death feels so heartbreaking, knowing how few moments in his life were spent having thor's full support, and he decided to give his life to save his brother anyway.

it makes their scenes in Avengers 1 so much more emotional to me. because loki, canonically under the influence of the mind stone, AND directly post-suicide attempt, is not at all in his right mind. i cannot imagine how it felt for thor, seeing him in that state. especially since that may have been one of the first times in his life that he wasn't afraid to protect loki, because for once, he was not having to protect him against ODIN. i assume the entire thing brought a LOT of thor's compartmentalized feelings about loki's position in his life to the surface.

god. this book really rekindled my love for these characters