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#and it also messes w my sense of reality bc i end up not remembering if i lied or actually did the thing. so . best to avoid that
piplupod · 9 months
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WHY DO I NEED TO MAKE /TWO/ ACCOUNTS TO SEND IN A RESUME TO THIS PLACE WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!!
also i just found eraser shavings in my ear HFSHDGDSJKL
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oldcoyote · 4 months
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thetimesinbetween replied to your post:
(1) please feel free to utterly disregard any/all of this!
(2) i saw this and my heart & soul squeezed because that fucking SUCKS, that breaks my heart, and i want to. like. stuff you in a burlap sack and throw you over my shoulder and take off running. GET OLDCOYOTE OUTTA THERE <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
(3) your brain might be straight-up, like, panicking/sabotaging your happiness in hopes of re-establishing whatever emotional state it has decided is safe. (the vibe: “oh, you’re feeling HAPPY? don’t you know it’s NOT SAFE to be happy? if you’re HAPPY, what NEXT? if you’re HAPPY, then you’re CAPABLE, you’ll have to DO [SOME SCARY THING]. AND you’ll have to do [WHATEVER] and in order to do [THAT THING], you’ll have to BE VULNERABLE.” and so on and so on.)
(4) to be clear, i could absolutely be wrong about this!!! it’s your brain!!! *my* brain loves to do this shit and in my opinion IT IS THE FUCKING WORST.
(5) ok i am currently in a DBT skills group. (this is where me and like 8 other people who are also Severely Struggling and #mentallyill all get together and learn from our 2 intrepid and deeply gay instructors how the fuck to cope, in practical ways, with being alive. and perhaps even. like. build lives we enjoy.) anyway, so, in this group, i learned about a (frankly sort of mindblowing) mechanism called “opposite action.” which is basically a way to decrease the intensity of an emotion.
important caveat: opposite action only really works when (a) you yourself WANT to decrease the intensity of the emotion in the first place, (b) the emotion in question isn’t, like, totally aligned with reality in the first place OR, even if it is aligned with reality, acting on it still wouldn’t help you. (like, imagine this sort of thing: ’ugh it totally makes sense that i feel this way, and it totally makes sense that feeling this way makes me want to do X, but doing X is really REALLY not gonna help me right now, fuuuUUUUUCK.’)
wow. i am not an expert. this is hard to explain. i looked for youtube videos on this for like. half an hour minimum. and they all sucked. YIKES. ✌️sdfsas;kjsasdfs. so, if you are fascinated and/or this seems useful, here is a uhhh fuckin pdf full of charts and bulleted lists: static1.squarespace.com…
if you start on p. 251 of the PDF (“Overview: Changing Emotional Responses”), that should actually properly explain what i’m talking about. I wish I could beam knowledge that I have directly into your brain bc opposite action is very cool actually, and i have done it multiple times and found it helpful, but i am literally linking you to a textbook rn i am so sorry lmao. again please feel free to ignore this :’) <3 <3
(6) in conclusion, absolutely fuck anything sabotaging your joy. you were HAPPY!!! you LOVED doing this thing!!! i want to be like, “i bet you are not stupid actually and also i remember liking your writing, way back when, and i bet it is not bad so THERE,” but like. that doesn’t even matter!!! you could write and then never reread it and never share it, and if it made you enjoy being alive, that’s already Everything.
loving something you are doing while you are doing it…that’s the juicy fucking meat of life!!!!! i am glad you had that & i hope you will have it again & i trust that you will. and just generally i’m rooting for you <3 okay goodnight <3 /end
bless you for all of this, and for the link, i will absolutely check it out and see if it works for me! it sounds SUPER useful and god might be exactly what i need because these emotions are Not Serving Me at all and i want them taken out and shot fjkdls i just want to feel like i used to feel about all this but i don't think that will come until i can write, and publish, and have people read it and be like This Is Not Awful Actually but in order to get there i have to be brave enough to put it out there and I am NOT right now i am a snivelling mess
anything that can help me get out of the snivelling mess stage is more than welcome <3 and beyond that, just, thank you so much for taking the time to say all this it made my day and makes me feel so much better already
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narwhalandchill · 16 hours
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also finished the 4.7 AQ and like . well firstly rip to all the sinner theories where it was like could it be nibelung or someone else and all like that was a bit tragic but thats the nature of theories i suppose. i do think it makes sense that the bigger players arent just all going to be figures we Already know of but yea.
overall i think it was like. quite good but also kinda suffers from the way these quests just Have to be an annual thing especially with how short it was? i saw a comment being like this feels like it shouldve been the epilogue to caribert and i kinda agree . also as much as it is appreciated that we Do get some direct answers to big lore questions in the quest was kind of a exposition dump in that sense . fade to black w the abyss sib and dain duel was certainly a Choice 💀
caribert truly is a sweetheart man i didnt expect him to pop up but i feel so bad for him now. except for the loomzoning atossa thing i get that he had no choice on the matter but that was rough for ur girl 😭😭
iiiiiii dunno how to feel about the whole we forget all about the reunion anyway when traveler Remembering as a descender has been established as such a core thing like it kinda feels like a copout im ngl . guess we are just now . aware of information as players that the traveler is not privy to . considering im already more than a little wary towards the general concept of like. memory erasure slash irminsul stuff when it comes to genshins writing im definitely feeling conflicted w this . also applies to the loom of fate editing reality thing . like okay on some level yes it is cool to include such prevalent elements of like. uncertainty and unreliable narration but in worst case those concepts are also v easy for a careless writing team to just. run off w and end up w a convoluted mess so i rly rly hope that wont end up the case
anyway. so the sinners are the big deal this time around i suppose and like. not that i wasnt necessarily expecting surtalogi to indeed be khaenriahn but the confirmation is certainly here now. no particular feelings on this from me im afraid bc like. Highly unpopular lore thing from me but both khaenriah n hexenzirkel (the latter more so than former) are kinda these. big lore topics and entities that i logically Do know and acknowledge as the massive deals they are to the story. but they just arent sth i have so far gotten that invested in altho khaenriah i have somewhat warmed up to . hexenzirkel still feels too much like an unnecessary presence to me lmao i might be missing out on stuff but if the abyss order arguably has a lack of story presence issue then the witches have it like 5 times worse 💀 But point being surtalogi being part of this whole crew of transcendent beings from khaenriah that became sinners is like . okay then isiskskskdk its not that big a deal for me
i think the most meaningful implications from that (in terms of My personal lore fixations at least *cough*) just have to do w like . sth id already been thinking about even before we got the confirmation of the visionary as the sinner that clothar found (which was a big theory anyway that i did personally find very compelling and well its canon now). and that is just the way that like . when skirk compared surtalogi as one in pursuit of "perfection" and brought up the visionary and rhinedottir as two ppl akin to him. that and the narzissenkreuz note about primordial human essentially being the synonym for descenders . & how rhines magnum opus was the primordial human PROJECT aka in light of this note. Very likely to be an attempt at Creating a descender . and how the sinners and abyss orders loom of fate is obviously just another pathway into accessing some sorta will or way to rival the world and defy the heavenly principles . became this thing where i was like 90% convinced and now 100% convinced that if the "perfection" both gold and the visionary pursue is indeed a descenders will in one form or another . then surtalogis aims Must involve the same fucking thing
which naturally gets us back to the insane ajax theory territory bc . if what connects those 3 (and post 4.7 more like. All the transcendent sinners from khaenriah) is getting to that world rivaling will. Then it sure fucking makes Everything surtalogi is doing and planning w both the narwhal and ajax Very Interesting . like it sure is curious that These would be the things surtalogi is occupying himself with if its indeed a descender he seeks . so like . Yeah we dont need to get into 3rd descender stuff but one thing i sure do think is becoming less and less like crackpot speculation and more and more and explicitly foreshadowed future direction for childes arc is that. one way or another. he is going to be involved with the subject of becoming a descender . bc like. if gold tried creating one w alchemy. and if the visionary is Literally creating a loom of fate to serve as the machine capable of weaving a worlds worth of leylines and destiny aka just a descender equivalent machine . then it sure wouldnt make sense for surtalogi to be putting all this heavy effort and resources (as skirk commented on) towards acquiring and possibly subduing an interstellar voyager like the narwhal and getting his student to look for and train the weird kid with a possibly innate connection w it. Without that serving a role in His brand of descender equivalency that hes seeking as a sinner. So yeah childe long term relevance stocks are definitely up w this one guys Trust
but yea thats on surtalogi for me . Point being its not rly a New suspicion for me (like ever since primordial human project started sounding like DIY descender lab project i was thinking this) but i think its been absolutely further affirmed by directly linking surtalogi to the sinners of khaenriah that more likely than not seem like theyre All going to be ppl who used the abyss to seek the power of a descender in a variety of ways???? so thats very neat . wonder who the other 2 will turn out to be then .
another thing to do w the sinners is also like. the way that if we do count dainsleif among them just as one that Didnt jusr abandon the ppl during the cataclysm . there is obviously that doomed number of Six there . so like pygmy theories have been going wild already in the few days it took me to catch up w the AQ but im just kinda . i Still think pale princess is most likely to be about an irminsuled event and be about sth far further back into the timeline than khaenriah and the cataclysm . theres things like rhe night mother specifically talking abt Thousands of years passing before the new hero (= 4th descender aka us most likely) appears to challenge her and also just the general way i still think pale princess aligns too much w the story of the seelie ancestor and her lover Not to be a story about that time period . so as much as the 5+1 sinners of khaenriah being the pygmies is like. Yes the numbers would finally add up clearly with no mental backflips needed unlike w the archons . but like all things considered im still a bit unconvinced. we shall see . that book is a menace anyway so its always gonna be a hot topic lmao like what is Up with it 💀
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pierregaslays · 1 year
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hiii
Idrk what's the problem with these actresses fr. it all started with Ana and her actress istg I can't even see her face without feeling rage dmgsktkgs
we actually had a huge fight with Carla's actress too, now that I remember lol.
the funny thing with the Buck and Lucy mess is that you/we can actually see how that was supposed to end.... with them sitting besides each other at the HenRen wedding and everything.
after the finale, some actors posted pics on insta welcoming her (Lucy/Arielle) to the ~~family~~ so we assumed she was there to stay but! that also didn't happen.
also, the BuckTaylor relationship wasn't supposed to last that long lol (even though their 3 fans who thought they were endgame). back after Brawl in cell block there was a ~~fake~~ synopsis that talked about Eddie and Taylor butting heads over something. so there were theories about Taylor making a coverage on the whole thing outing Mitchell as the donor. we thought /that/ was supposed to start the problems between Buck and Taylor, and their eventual break up, but the synopsis was debunked (?) and so we were ~~blessed~~ with more of them together.
a whole thing happened with ghost stories too, we had a synopsis and a promo, it was supposed to be a Halloween ep and then! they changed everything. we were supposed to see the case of a girl who lived alone who thought there were ghost in her house but in reality it was a dude living in her attic or something, and instead we had a chapter full of Taylor Kelly... is the worst rated ep in IMDb to this day...
ALSO, someone was supposed to die in the last ep lmao. the articles talked about a big loss and I'm not gonna lie we hoped that big loss was Lucy 🤭😶
omg hiii
wait there was something wrong w ana’s actress AND CARLA’S??? i’m literally going insane what is actually wrong with them 😭
oh fr, you can def see how badly the scene cuts made it look at the wedding like? and then she just wasn’t there, well technically i just saw her but like i’m guessing i won’t see her much more? this whole thing is so messy especially after them welcoming her HSHDJF
wait so you’re telling me that we suffered through BuckTaylor when we didn’t have to 🥲 icl i do wish the fake synopsis was real also not just bc i love the idea of eddie and taylor butting heads bc in my head they def did a lot. but oh yeah! so blessed! so grateful we had to suffer through them for so much longer—
yeah icl i thought an episode titled ghost stories was going to be a halloween episode? it made so much sense? and honestly that synopsis sounds sooooo much better, kinda spooky, kinda fun and tbh? did we really need to know that about taylor like sorry your dad killed your mum or something but i don’t really care? HAJSKF not it still being the worst rated episode 😭😭
someone was supposed to die? STOP? NO WAY— you’re so real for hoping the big loss was lucy btw bc i am 100% certain i would’ve hoped the same
i’m literally living for this gossip btw!! thank you so much, you’re making my nights w this i love learning everything <33
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1kook · 4 years
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disney+ & bust
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this is part of my netflix & chill collection !
summary; There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door.  warnings; arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of degradation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment, unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, return of mean jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf miscellaneous; ANGST, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count; 13k !!
notes; me: *writes couple who’s whole arc is being silly* y’all: MAKE THEM SUFFER GIVE US ANGST!! u ask I deliver so now we all suffer 😐 ngl it was hard writing this fic n u might notice there’s some parts that seem weird n that’s bc this was TWO fics w diff wording but I ended up mixing them bc I’m insane. still had a lot of fun! felt like I challenged myself!! not proofread bc when I say we suffer we SUFFER
please let me know what you think!!! a simple ask goes a long way <3
previous part: kissanime & foreplay
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Approximately one week after The Bullet Bestie’s rise to prominence, Jungkook grows annoyed with it as his weirdly competitive nature rears its ugly head the more and more orgasms that little vibrator coaxes out of you. It turns on a weird switch in him, something slightly stuck up and snooty that he’ll never admit to out loud but is there nonetheless. By the following Friday, The Bullet Bestie is nestled deep in your garbage can and Jungkook’s back to pleasuring you with his tongue and fingers alone.
He had those moments in him, the ones where he liked to think he was better than any and everyone else, and occasionally they manifested against inanimate objects like a bullet vibrator.
Despite his polite and generally soft exterior, you catch glimpses of that cocky spirit more than anyone else. Over the past year, you’ve come to realize that Jungkook’s personality was like a coin that had been left out in the sun too long. He had this sweet and reserved nature you saw most times, a kindhearted boyfriend who adored you almost as much as you adored him. He was your angel whom you knew had a heart of gold, even if you were slowly bringing out his more childish tendencies. You knew him like the back of your hand, knew what his mom’s favorite color was and how he liked to stack the plates in his cabinet according to size and make. It was a side that was rusted from years of being out in the sun, basking in its adoring warmth, and you loved every inch about it.
And still, there was this other side to him you rarely saw. This cocky asshole who hid beneath the soft smiles and careful hands, making his appearance only through sly smirks and a tongue prodding against the inside of his cheek. He was a braggart, a man who knew his greatness yielded for no one and wanted that fact shoved down everyone’s faces. This Jungkook, this other side that never saw the light of day, was like the Hyde to his Jekyll. An unexpected, almost mean side to him that only dared make his appearance when his exhilaration was at an all-time high. Like when he was fucking you into another dimension, or kicking your ass in Mario Kart, or like now, when he was receiving an award at an annual tech ceremony.
On the eve of your one year anniversary, Jungkook’s company invites him to an awards ceremony for other web and app developers like him. It’s a grand event, filled with all the biggest nerds in the developing industry here to present the baby nerds with awards. Jungkook lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, both a seasoned player and a rookie all at once. He spends the night tolling you around in a floor-length gown and fangirling over all the “legends” in the room.
You know next to none of these people and none of their accomplishments but still pretend you respect them to hell and back. By the end of the main dinner, you’re sympathizing with Barbie’s ever-smiling features because your cheeks feel sore.
Towards the end of the night, Jungkook wins that random award— okay, who were you fooling? He wins the Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award, recognizing him for all the hard work you’ve seen him put in this past year. It’s probably the highest recognition he can receive at this point in his career. It was an esteemed award that was bestowed upon only the most innovative developer of the year among tech companies, something Jungkook had briefly mentioned he always wanted. It’s basically the equivalent of placing first place in his field, but given Jungkook’s competitive industry and his young age, you think it’s like telling all these old Facebook lords to suck his big fat cock. (But that was your job when you got home.)
He gives a short little thank you speech, promising to work hard and own up to this title. The people around you are swooning, obviously endeared with his soft puppy dog features and melodic voice. They don’t know him like you do, don’t know that uppity twist to his grin like you do. It doesn’t slip off his face even when he steps down off the stage, arms wide open as he comes barreling towards you. Even with you in his arms, the congratulations that are thrown from every direction ring loudly in his ears and swell that ego of his.
The night goes like that for the most part, Jungkook’s acquaintances approaching him every few minutes to rain down their praises. He goes a little crazy at the open bar after a while, shoving the gold trophy into your arms as his beloved work seniors whisk him off for drinks. You don’t mind because you resigned yourself to a night of playing Jungkook’s perfectly perfect partner anyway, watching him politely mingling with his coworkers. Despite his earlier success, you know he won’t brag about it verbally. No, he’ll wait until the two of you get home—your place or his—and remind you how amazing he is with a quick snap of his hips.
As you said, he’ll never boast aloud.
However, that doesn’t mean you won’t.
“That’s my boyfriend,” you explain to the seventh person that greets you that night, excitedly pointing to where said boyfriend was slowly losing all sense of self by the bar. You don’t know anyone here beside Jungkook, and you’re pretty sure no one in their hammered minds is going to remember who you are anyway, so a little gloating never hurt anyone. “He won the ‘I’m Better Than Everyone Else’ award tonight,” you emphasize to the tipsy woman beside you who only laughs at your exaggeration. You assume she’s like you, accompanying one of the many developers here, because as soon as you finish boasting about Jungkook she moves to brag about someone too.
Truth be told, you spend the whole night re-analyzing the Zootopia movie you saw on Disney+ the other night in your head. So if the little fox fellow didn’t control himself would the city have fallen to ruins? Why was the useless sheep girl so evil and bitter? Why was there an unreal amount of romantic tension between the fox and the rabbit? Whatever, you’ll have to rewatch it some other night, and with your new Disney+ account, you could watch it anywhere you wanted to.
Now, you had never bothered to purchase a Disney+ subscription or even tried to swindle Jungkook for his password before. As far as you know, Disney+ was filled with old tv shows from your childhood, sitcoms that made you laugh when you were ten. There’s nothing wrong with that, but personally, you were a firm believer that that which was perfect should not be touched once finished; in other words, you were utterly terrified you’d rewatch an old episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place, only to find out the same joke you’ve been regurgitating for the past ten years doesn’t actually go that way.
However, the harsh reality was that Disney+ was good for a few things. Ugh, you hate when giant corporations provide decent services. Aside from Zootopia, you’ve watched about every animated media on there as well, all of which you replay in your mind as Jungkook has the time of his life with these nerds, knocking back champagne glass after champagne glass.
Anyway, the night ends a little past midnight, and Jungkook who is buzzed on alcohol and high on exhilaration ends up calling an Uber for the two of you. Your apartment— the new one he had not only helped you hunt for but also helped you move into, greatly cutting the cost of movers out with those glistening biceps and thick thighs —is still going through her rebellious phase where the potted plants are trying to take over, courtesy of Kim Namjoon. So for now, there’s a potted plant in an awkward corner that both of you stub your toe against on your way to your bedroom.
You’re thinking Jungkook is going to go to town tonight, given the fact he’s on Cloud 9 and has had his ego stroked by a bunch of dudes for the past couple hours. Maybe you guys can try out the hot role-playing scenario you saw on GirlsWay a few weeks ago, or the handcuffs you impulsively bought from Amazon one Monday night. Or maybe, and this one really makes you flutter, he’ll let you fully take the reins for once.
All those lewd fantasies end up being for naught because just as you shimmy out of your gown (with the help of his hands, of course) and turn to climb him like a tree, he’s on the other side of the room getting your makeup remover out for you. And also talking. A lot. And way more than usual.
“Did you see him, babe?” he sighs, dare you to say, dreamily, handing you the cotton pads as he begins pulling a million pins out of your hair. Slowly and with a lot of confusion, you pull your fake lashes off and begin cleaning your face. “He was amazing.”
“Uh-huh,” you say, having absolutely no idea who ‘he’ is or why Jungkook is so in love with him and not you at this very moment. “But so were you,” you add. Perfect. Stroke his ego and then stroke his cock.
Jungkook sputters at your praise. He’s carefully placing your hairpins on your thigh, cheeks flaming red every time he leans over you. “Was I?” he murmurs, voice sweet in that cute little way it always gets when he’s downed one too many shots of whiskey, enough to be buzzed but not enough to be wasted.
You turn and the pins clatter to the floor and across the bedsheets. “Yes,” you confirm, ignoring his sad huff at the mess you’ve made. Instead, you grab him by the collar of that pink button-up he taunted you with all night. “You were fucking incredible and I think incredible men deserve to have their dick sucked.”
Jungkook laughs at your vulgar statement, holding you gently by the hips as you climb into his lap. “Is that so?” The soft, shy persona is gone now, replaced by the gentle stirring beneath his dress pants. You nod hurriedly, plopping down on his lap and running your hands through his styled hair.
“Yes,” you confirm, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Luckily for you, I know this nymphomaniac who would gladly gobble up your cock at your every command.”
He snorts just as you push him into his back, nose adorably scrunched up. “First of all, you know I hate that word,” he chuckles, finally gracing you with a sweet peck that only makes you want him to fuck you into the fifth dimension. “Secondly, please don’t ever say you’ll gobble my cock up ever again.”
Something inside of you squeals with excitement as he rolls the two of you over, firm body pressing down on yours. “Oh, baby,” you groan, lazily throwing a leg over his hip. Jungkook grins and then decides to entertain you for a few minutes with a sloppy kiss.
You say a few minutes because just as things are heating up, he pulls away. He smiles apologetically. “As much as I’d love to be here with you, I actually have an early morning tomorrow.”
You frown at the sudden change in events. “Huh? They’re gonna make you work the morning after a Gatsby party?” you gasp, sitting up as he gets off of you. With every step he takes away from the bed your heart breaks a little more. “They can’t do that— that’s illegal!”
From the doorway he levels you with a comically raised brow. “No, it’s not.”
You scamper after him down the hall, watch the muscles in his back flex as he pulls his suit jacket on. “You can’t work on our anniversary— that’s illegal!” you offer instead.
He stops at your front door, feet squeezed back into his shoes. “Baby, it’s not,” he rolls his eyes, leaning down to peck your forehead. “It was either I work in the morning or work at night,” he explains, giving your messy hair a soothing caress. He’s looking at you with those eyes, the ones that make your heart lodge itself into your throat and make life a tightrope experience. There’s a devastatingly lovesick part of you that wants this moment, this kind face, to be engraved into your mind for the rest of your life. You want this to be the first and last thought you have and nothing else: just Jungkook’s adoring gaze on you for the rest of time.
The moment ends too soon when he flutters one last peck against your lips. “I’ll be done in the afternoon, okay?”
You pout. “Okay, your place?” you huff, making sure to get one last octopus squeeze around his waist. He nods. “Promise you won’t be late?”
The corners of his gaze soften. “You know I won’t,” he smiles, leaning down to bump your noses together playfully. “Can’t stay away from my pretty girl too long. Besides, I have a gift for you tomorrow.”
It’s with that sentiment and a hammering heart that you let him go. With Jungkook gone, there’s really nothing for you to do now. You took the next two days off in preparation for your anniversary sex, so you don’t have to head to sleep early like usual.
With nothing else planned, you decide on rewatching that Zootopia movie that had plagued you all night, ready to dissect every plot hole to hell and back. You don’t think Jungkook’s seen this movie yet so you add it to your long list of animated movies you’re forcing him to watch.
Part of you is actually really surprised Jungkook left. Well, kinda sorta, very, but not really. Jungkook was a good boy, that much was obvious. He took his job seriously, and if his job wanted him to come in at the asscrack of dawn, then he’d come in before the sun even rose. He was a goody-two-shoes, but even so, you were occasionally able to bring out that darker side in him.
Jungkook working, like actually working in an office setting, was pretty rare though. The dude had a chill job that let him stay home most of the time, and essentially clock in whenever he wanted. Every now and then you were able to convince him to stay, tucking him beneath your body or the covers, depending on the night, and refusing to let him go the morning after.
Once he had eaten you out until the wee hours of the day, ravenous between your thighs, and then went to work the next morning like he hadn’t broken you. Another time you had persuaded him into watching every season of the 2017 DuckTales reboot through the night. When the alarm had rung in the middle of the season finale, he had simply gotten into your shower and gone off to work.
So maybe you were a little confident in your skills, and Jungkook slipping between your fingers tonight was a huge bummer. But there was no use crying over spilled milk, you tell yourself, flinging your bra off somewhere in the corner as you snuggle back into your sheets. You’re ready to tear this Zootopia movie apart, scene by scene.
Even though your apartment is a little cold, you’re comforted by the fact Jungkook will be here to keep you warm all day tomorrow.
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All men do is lie.
Despite his promise to come home early the next day, Jungkook ends up lying. The meeting he had been in all morning— the same one that had stopped you from getting bent like a pretzel the night before —drags on well past noon. Then, Kim Namjoon, AKA Jungkook’s favorite senpai in the entire world, catches wind of Jungkook’s success last night and absolutely has to take him out to lunch to celebrate.
You scoff, glaring down at your phone and the impulsive messages you’d sent out an hour ago when Jungkook had first texted you telling you he would be late.
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You whirl around to stomp off in the direction of his living room, where all of yours and Jungkook’s favorite foods were growing colder by the minute. You had spent the longest time carefully laying them out, making sure the fried chicken was closer than the pizza but not closer than the breadsticks. Truthfully it’s a nightmare. There are about eight stomach aches worth of food sitting on his coffee table, the greasy stench makes you gag and will certainly stick to your hair for weeks, but none of that mattered because it was all for your beau.
Your very late beau who was making you grow more and more agitated with each minute that passed. Ugh! How inconsiderate of him to test your patience on a day like this. You didn’t want to be upset with him, but this was your first, real milestone as a couple with him. You had wanted to spend the whole day cuddled up, maybe finally tell him how much he really meant to you— definitely not waking up alone with eyeliner crusted eyes and an aching heart.
Deciding you’re being a little too dramatic, you head into the bedroom to calm down. This was fine, you tell yourself, carefully laying out the damn near harlotrous lingerie you had yet to put on. Jungkook would come over soon and everything would be A-okay.
Except for the part it’s actually F-not okay because soon it’s nearing sunset and the food has gone cold so you’ve stocked it into the fridge, and the pretty sheer bra has a wonky wire that’s two seconds away from piercing through your heart, but that doesn’t even matter because Jungkook being late for your all-day anniversary celebration has already ripped it to shreds anyway.  
You plop down on the couch in defeat, impulsively opening up the Disney+ app to cry through another episode of Phineas and Ferb. You’ve abandoned the satin robe that came with the lingerie in favor of donning a big t-shirt that smells like him and makes your heart hurt even more. The setting sun paints the living room in muted oranges, the chirping of birds outside the soundtrack to your lonely day.
You end up watching some other cartoon on Disney+, avoiding the Marvel section because you had promised Jungkook he could be there when you lost your Marvel virginity. Well, at least one of you was good at keeping promises, you think bitterly. For a second, you think about randomly watching one of the infamous MCU films out of order just to spite him. But then you think of that soft puppy gaze and how disappointed he’d be in you.
Whatever! It wouldn’t ever match up to the way you felt now.
Anyway, you circle back. When you’re five episodes into Phineas and Ferb you hear the doorknob rattle.
You sit up just as the door swings open, visible from your spot on the couch. He meets your gaze almost immediately, big doe eyes caught in the act. What act? You’re not really sure. In fact, you don’t even know what you’re looking at when he walks in because he’s drowning in shopping bags. His lips twist into a grin. “Honey, I’m home,” he says playfully.
You don’t laugh.
Jungkook frowns, dumping all his bags down at the entrance before waddling over towards you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, coming to stand before you and cupping your face in his hands. He’s towering over you, so tall and gorgeous but for the first time, you’re not dazed by his beauty.
“Kook, you said you’d be back hours ago,” you say slowly, avoiding his gaze. You try to keep the frustration out of your voice, but you’ve had hours to dwell on it now, and those annoying cartoon characters, though charming at first, had only served to multiply your annoyance.  
Jungkook blinks, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I mean… yeah. But I got you presents?” he beams, glancing back at the mountainous pile he made by the door. You look over too. There are some luxury bags squeezed in between other shops you like, the occasional jewelers' logo on the side.
You stand with a sigh, sauntering off into the kitchen with him on your tail. “I don’t want presents,” you mumble, reaching to pour yourself a glass of water. You’re briefly aware of how childish you must seem. Jungkook hovers behind you.
“What? Yes, you do,” he says. “You had an entire wishlist on my Amazon of things you wanted.” It’s his turn to level you with an unreadable expression, slowly crossing his arms over his chest.
Your frown only deepens as you turn to match his stance against the counter. While it may be true that you did indeed have an entire list of impulsive items on his Amazon, that didn’t necessarily mean you wanted them all. Sometimes you just wanted to stare longingly at a pair of satin gloves without actually buying them. You don’t know how to explain this much to him. “They’re not…” you stop with another deep breath. “Forget it. Thank you for the presents.”
Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to question you. “What,” he says in an unimpressed tone, padding over to you before you can escape back into the living room to watch the entire princess movie collection on Disney+. “No, tell me what’s wrong.”
For some reason, that’s exactly what you don’t want to hear. “Jungkook,” you say flatly, narrowing your eyes at him. “You come home six hours after you said you would without telling me why, and normally I wouldn’t care, but today was supposed to be a special day for us.”
Jungkook reels at your bluntness. “Babe, I was out getting stuff for you. I know it’s our anniversary— that’s why I wanted to treat you,” he responds, oddly condescendingly like you’re a child who doesn’t understand what exactly he was doing.
You brush his hands away from your shoulders. “Yeah,” you huff. “Now I know that. But I spent all day waiting for you,” you stress, chest puffing as you grow more and more agitated by his inability to understand you. God, can he let you go now? At least a bunch of animated, geometrically drawn cartoons won’t question you like this and make you feel as childish as he was.
When he doesn’t say anything else you stomp back into the living room, snatching up your phone from its forgotten spot against the couch. “I’m going to bed.”
At that Jungkook seems to kickstart back to life. “What? ___, it’s barely six,” he says as he follows after you into your bedroom. You ignore him, shuffling beneath the covers. In all actuality, you’re going to bed to mope and watch more animated family shows, maybe cry under the guise of the plot just being so sad. Jungkook sits beside you just as you click back on to finish off your episode. “Baby, I don’t get it,” he sighs. “You’re always talking about how much you want this or that, and I go out and get you it all but now you’re mad?”
You bite down on your lip, eyes lasered in on the pictures moving before you. “Jungkook, just forget it.”
“No,” he says, more sternly than he’s ever been with you before. “If there’s a problem, tell me.” There’s a heavy pause, and then he says, “don’t make me waste my time guessing what’s wrong, okay?” 
“Waste your time?” you scoff, sitting up with pinched brows that you find match his. “I’m not trying to waste anyone’s time— in fact, that’s hot coming from you, Jungkook.”
He rolls his eyes. “What are you even saying? You’re mad because I took a little long getting presents, for you, might I add,” he huffs, plopping down on the edge of the mattress beside your knee. “You’re always saying you want this and that, but you can’t handle me going out to get those things? Do you hear how weird you sound?”
You whip the covers off of you. “Me talking about things doesn’t always mean I want them,” you defend.
Jungkook snorts. “Yes, it does,” he says. “Anytime you ramble about stuff for minutes like a little kid it’s because you want me to buy it for you.”
You blink. “Like a little kid?” you repeat, stunned by his comparison. Granted, you always knew you were the more childish of the two, but you never thought that would equate Jungkook thinking of you as a child. Something red and nasty flares in your chest. “Well sorry,” you spit, crossing your arms over your chest defensively, “sorry we all can’t be perfectly mature golden boys who would never see the light of day if I constantly wasn’t dragging them out.” You know it’s a somewhat low blow, especially because Jungkook’s told you before how his introverted tendencies were a sensitive issue growing up, but you can’t help it.
Jungkook groans, dropping his head into his hands. “Baby, don’t do this now,” he warns, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Stop acting like this.”
“Like how?” you spit, “like a kid?” Jungkook says nothing, leveling you with a blank stare from the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes, phone falling off your lap. Another episode of Phineas and Ferb had started, the corny opening tune filling the space between the two of you. “At least now I know what you think of me,” you mutter over the guitar riff.
“Oh my god,” Jungkook blurts, sitting up wildly. “Of course I’m gonna think of you as a stupid little kid, look at you,” he seethes, gesturing at the phone beside you. You flinch. “All you do is watch kids shows and whine whenever I wanna watch anything normal adults watch. You complain every single day about the most normal things, like your job? Why should I fucking care that you’re working a dead-end office job in a field you didn’t even study for— that’s not my problem, __!” he snaps, eyes narrowed into little slits. “I just won an award last night,” he says suddenly, voice back to its regular volume. “I’m at the height of my career and I’m only going up, but I can’t even enjoy that because I have to come home and cater to you,” he finishes, a loud scoff punctuating the final word.
You had never imagined Jungkook finally bragging about himself would be at your expense.
A beat of silence passes, the angry glint in his eyes quickly fading away the longer you don’t say anything. You sniff once, turning your head idly to the side where Phineas and Ferb is still blaring loudly from your phone speaker. Picking up the device, you throw it across the room where it hits his closet door with a terrifying bang the breaks the silence.
The sound snaps Jungkook out of whatever shock he’d been in. “Baby…” he says slowly, carefully, like you’re a caged animal that’s just escaped the zoo.
“I’m going home,” you say, also a little too calmly. You saunter over towards his closet where your shattered phone screen glares up at you as you yank a pair of sweats off a hanger. Jungkook is still frozen on the edge of the bed, watching you with wide eyes as you move about the room.
It’s when you’re in the hallway leading downstairs that Jungkook finally snaps out of his daze, scampering behind you as you descend the stairs. “Baby,” he rushes out, loudly bounding down after you, “___, wait,” he gasps, catching you by the kitchen counter collecting your keys. “I-I didn't mean that,” he rushes out, eyes wide and frantic as they flicker over your expression. “I don’t think that—I don’t, baby, please, just… let me explain, please.”
“Jungkook, let go of me,” you respond, shaking your wrist in an attempt to release yourself. He’s not even holding you tightly— he never would—but the sound of your heart pounding in your ears makes your movements jerky and erratic. “I wanna go home.”
“No,” he chokes, cornering you against the counter. “No, baby, please just listen to me, I-I—“
“You what, Jungkook?” you snap, placing a hand on his chest and forcefully pushing him away. He lets you, stepping back with a wobbly bottom lip. “You need to tell me how you’re too good for me? How much I hold you down because I wasn’t lucky enough to get a job like yours straight out of college?” He says nothing, swallowing roughly as you jab a finger into his chest. “Well let me tell you something,” you snarl, chest heaving, “I may be childish and a huge complainer, but I’m not stupid enough to let someone walk all over me like this.”
With that, you make your great escape. Truthfully, you don’t want him to see the tears in your eyes as you yank his door open, stomping down his steps and in the direction of the nearest bus stop. The door opens right after you tug it shut, painting your shadow across the sidewalk. There’s the scrambled sound of house slippers against the concrete that follows you down. “Go the fuck back inside,” you snap without missing a beat.
Sensing your obvious anger, he pauses before he can reach you. “Text me when you get home?” he calls out quietly.
“No,” you respond.
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You would never admit to anyone that you spend the entire night eating a tub of mint chocolate ice cream. It’s disgusting and makes you gag, but it’s the only one you have in your apartment. And of course, it was brought over by none other than Jeon Jungkook himself a few days ago. Even when you’re trying to comfort yourself over how mean he was, on your anniversary night no less, you’re plagued by thoughts of him everywhere.
As much as you want to brush his words off, put on that cool girl exterior you’ve maintained since high school, there’s something different about this situation. You guess it’s impossible to brush off such hateful words when they come from someone you love and adore so much.
Were you too childish? You had always believed that side of you was what made your relationship with Jungkook so perfect. The two of you meshed well because of your differences, like yin and yang. So how had he been able to so easily deconstruct every inch of that balance in a matter of a few seconds? Was this perfect reality all in your head this whole time?
You want to tell yourself it was just a heat of the moment outburst from Jungkook, give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s never snapped at you like this before. Of course you’ve fought a couple of times in the past year, but neither of you had ever stooped as low as you did yesterday. Furthermore, the insecure part of your brain says he obviously felt this somewhere in his heart to bring it up at all. What he had said to you wasn’t something someone could make up on the spot.
You don’t text him when you get home, partly to spite him, but mainly because you had left your phone at his place anyway. You know he tried calling you last night because the call log is synced up to your laptop. He called on and off for about thirty minutes before he probably found your phone in his room. Whatever, he can mope in his regret for all you care
—is what you wanna say, but the longer he goes without showing himself to you the more your insecurities and hurt fester. Was this it? Was this the end of what was probably the best year of your life? It’s too painful to think about, to even consider the possibility that Jungkook might have gained a new insight last night and decided, hey, maybe this is for the best after all.
You drown yourself in an ungodly amount of sugar for breakfast, your laptop blaring yet another episode of Phineas and Ferb on the dining table. Muscle memory has you making Jungkook’s favorite pancakes before you can stop yourself, and by the time you do realize, you’ve resigned yourself to the blueberry smell anyway.
There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb.
It’s not.
It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. You open the door with a fright, jumping back when he slumps forward and almost crashes face-first into the floor. “You didn’t call,” Jungkook cries, leaning a little too much of his weight onto you when you reach out to steady him.
The thundering of your heart slows upon registering it’s him. “Kook?” you frown, nose pinched at the ungodly stench of alcohol wafting off his clothes. “Have you been drinking?” you ask even though the answer is staring you right in the face (and in the nose).
He groans, staggering deeper into your arms. You blindly push the door shut behind him, resigning yourself to this new situation while your pancakes grow cold in the other room. “Baaaby,” he slurs, letting you guide him into the living space. He’s unceremoniously dumped onto the couch, half-opened eyes gazing up at you. “Let me,” a hiccup, “explain.”
You won’t lie. There’s a very obvious sense of discomfort sitting in your chest, torn between two paths that you don’t wish to choose between. His skin is warm and flushed like he’s just walked all the way here in this morning sun. You step over to the window that faces down onto the street below. There’s no sign of his car; you would have killed him if he ever tried to drive in this state.
“Did you walk here?” you ask instead, deciding there’s no need for one singular path, not when you can walk straight down the middle, both cleaning him and grilling him at the same time.
Jungkook’s response is delayed, head lolling from side to side as you help him out of his sweater. His skin is sweaty beneath, scorching to the touch. “Uh-huh,” he groans. Jesus, you sort of assumed but him confirming it really set things into perspective.
By no means did you and Jungkook live on opposite ends of the earth. On a good day, a drive from your place to his took about ten minutes. But walking? Easily an hour. Had he walked all the way from his place, drunk on top of that?
You brush his hair away from his face, his eyes fluttering shut at your touch. His lips are pouty yet chapped, dehydrated from the sun and the alcohol he reeks of. “Sit up for me,” you instruct, scampering off to your room for chapstick and water.
“Anything for you,” Jungkook wheezes, throat probably dryer than a desert. When you return, he’s two seconds from face planting into the coffee table and breaking that pretty face of his. You catch him with a hand on his shoulder, keeping him balanced. “Tell me what to do,” he chokes out, voice hoarse.
“Just need you to drink some water,” you say, pressing a cup against his lips. He drinks it, but a drop still dribbles down his chin.
“No,” he groans, catching your wrist in his hand when you reach up to apply some chapstick on him. “Tell me what to do,” he stresses, “to fix this. Fix us.”
His words make you pause, the tube of chapstick hovering over his plush lips. “You don’t have to do anything,” you respond quietly, trying to finish the application so you can pull away.
Jungkook doesn’t let you go. You try to look away, but there’s something about him that looks off. Maybe it’s the raw skin under his eyes, red and swollen. Or the sad droop to those same eyes that hold you captive. Or maybe it’s the subtle tremble in his hands, the fingers that hold tightly to your wrist, not to keep you there but to ground himself. “I don’t wanna lose you,” he rasps out, shakily bringing your hand to his mouth, where he presses one airy kiss to your knuckles. “Tell me ho-how to fix this and I’ll do it,” he pleads, a vulnerable look in his eyes.
Unable to withstand the sheer amount of agony on his expression, you look away. “___, please,” he chokes out, stumbling off the couch in his drunk and desperate haze until he’s kneeling in front of you. “I can’t… I can’t,” he sniffles, tears clouding those pretty eyes you’ve come to love so much. “I don’t know who I am without you.”
You clench your jaw. “You’re Jeon Jungkook,” you murmur, slipping your hand out of his hold to run through his hair. It’s knotted and a little too greasy, two things Jungkook would usually never allow. “This year’s Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award recipient,” you remind him, trailing your thumb across his cheekbone when he turns to look up at you with those big Bambi eyes. “Sweet and shy, but you love being rowdy with your friends. You love movies and TV and organizing your shirts according to fabric type. You work harder than anyone I know and never complain. You date me, even though I’m a huge child,” you smile sadly.
“No!” he jumps, turning that frantic stare back into you. “Y-You’re not— it’s not,” he stammers, words still slurring together. “I’m a liar,” he cries, resting his forehead on your knees. His shoulders shake. “I don’t deserve you,” he weeps quietly. You place a hand on his shoulder. “Y-Y-You make my life so much better, ___, so colorful and fun. I-I wish I knew you in high school,” he admits, “maybe I wouldn’t have been so emotionally constipated now.”
“You’re not,” you reassure him softly.
He disagrees. “You bring out the best,” he hiccups, “the best in me.” Your heart skips in your chest. “I-I love you, you know that?”
You sputter, eyes wide at his sudden confession. “I… love you so much, y’know? I think about you ev-every night, ___,” he rambles, eyes dreamily gazing off into some miscellaneous spot on the wall behind you. “I can’t get you out of my head. Like you're a song, o-on repeat but it’s not annoying because it’s my favorite song, and I could listen to it for the rest of my life, y’know? My favorite song, I know all the words b-because it’s all I think about! I love... My love… I love you so much.”
“Kook,” you rush out, cheeks flaming as you try to pull him away from where he’s slumped over your legs. His passionate speech has you abuzz, body tingling everywhere until you feel overwhelmed, head spinning like you’re on a rollercoaster. “Let’s get you to bed.”
He nods sleepily, seemingly coming down from whatever alcohol induced rampage has allowed him to walk for an hour straight in this searing heat just to confess to you. “Y-You don’t have to say it back,” he continues to stutter as you guide him through the living room on wobbly legs. “I just-I just— can I?” he babbles. “Can I love you, ___?”
You pass through the kitchen space, where whatever you were watching on Disney+ is blaring loudly. It distracts Jungkook for about two seconds before his attention returns to you. When you don’t answer, he presses on. “Is that okay?” he asks, whirling around to face you, catching your shoulders in his hands. He towers over you by the entrance to your bedroom, dark curls tickling your forehead. His eyes are dark and glazed over, both in tears and an emotion so raw and unfiltered it squeezes around your chest until you can’t breathe. “Is it okay for me to love you?” he murmurs softly, knocking his nose against yours.
Your cheeks blaze. “Yes, th-that’s fine, Kook,” you blubber, placing a hand over his chest, where his heart is also hammering away. “Just need you to go rest now, okay?”
He nods sleepily, nudging your nose with his one last time, like a soft almost-kiss, before letting you push him into the room. “Yes, yes,” he breathes, his body finally crashing from his adrenaline spike. He flops down onto the bed unceremoniously, dark waves fanning across your pillows. You try to wiggle him out of his shirt, but it only gets about halfway up his chest before he blindly reaches for the covers. His legs stick out awkwardly, clad in the sweatpants you’ve come to associate with him.
When he’s all swaddled up in your blanket he finally goes limp, tiny snores leaving his lips as he dozes away from reality. You sigh, pressing a palm to his forehead. He’s still warm and clammy, but at this point, there’s nothing you can do but wait for him to sober up.
With a final kiss to his forehead, you leave the room, closing the door behind you before sliding against the wooden surface. There’s a trapped bird in your chest, wildly flapping its wings in an effort to get out, and it’s all stupid Jungkook’s fault in the next room. Stupid Jungkook who demolished and remodeled your heart all in less than twenty-four hours. It doesn’t calm down, even when you rush off into the kitchen for a glass of water, or when you try to immerse yourself in some other show on Disney+. It stays beating against your ribs and your chest until you’re forcing yourself to sit down on the couch and process.
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He wakes up a little before dinner. You hear him from the living room, where you’re flicking through the options on Disney+ for the nth time that day. You’ve seen the first fifteen minutes of about twenty different series and movies by now, always growing antsy and abandoning them early on. The only reason you know he’s awake is because the shower turns on for a few minutes, and then his bare feet are heard padding across the hallway back into your room.
By the time he resurfaces in the living room, you’ve resigned yourself to just more Phineas and Ferb, nonchalantly watching the silly cartoon. (Except you’re anything but nonchalant, and your heartbeat rings in your ears.)
Jungkook hovers by the door, clad in a pair of shorts he’s left here before, and a t-shirt you stole from him. “Hey,” he says quietly, lingering by the doorframe. You nod back in response. “Can I watch with you?” Again, another nod.  
Slinking over to the couch, he’s rather careful as he sits down, leaving a few inches of space between the two of you. You don’t even think he can see the screen of your laptop until he murmurs, “he’s my favorite character,” when Perry the Platypus appears on the screen.
You hum. “Thought you didn’t like these kids shows?” you ask. You don’t mean it to sound as petty and backhanded as it comes out, but that’s really no one's fault but his own.
Jungkook’s breathing tightens beside you. “No,” he admits, “I don’t. Only watch them because I know you like them.” You contemplate pausing the episode and engaging in a real conversation with him, but at this point, you’re very tired from the events of the last day. Jungkook doesn’t press either, just shuffles more comfortably beside you.
You get about five minutes in, quiet chuckles shared between the two of you, before he strikes. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he says, so hushed you almost don’t hear it. His hand is resting in the space between you, pinky brushing against yours. “About… being late. And the presents.”
You inspire slowly. “That wasn't even the problem, silly,” you brush off. From your peripheral, you see Jungkook’s slow nod. “I didn’t want any presents,” you mention, “I just wanted you.” You look away from the screen immediately after, pretending like the spot on the ceiling is actually really interesting.
The two of you fall into silence, the animated characters on your screen rapidly chattering away. “Oh,” Jungkook says after a moment.
You roll your eyes. They’re moist but you don’t want him to see. “Yeah, oh,” you parrot back softly, relaxing into the couch again. “Did you eat the food I left out?”
Jungkook shuffles beside you, the soft lull of the speakers soon being cut as he reaches over to pause Phineas and Ferb. A couple of seconds pass and then he’s leaning into you, head resting on your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, placing a palm over the hand he had been teasing for the past few minutes. “I thought I knew what I was doing but I was wrong.”
His voice is so soft and sincere, it makes your chest ache. You try to burrow your face against your opposite shoulder, try to hide the stray tear that escapes out of the corner of your eye. “It’s fine,” you brush off, voice choked off and hoarse.
Jungkook leans up, pecks your cheek so tenderly it makes you go mushy. “No, it’s not fine. I acted like a know-it-all and said something way out of line,” he murmurs, raising his head to look at you. His hand feels warm over yours. It’s the touch you craved all day and yesterday, the warm feel of his body against yours. You’re embarrassed at how easily you melt into it. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time,” he tells you, holding your hand close to his chest. “I had no right to say those things to you.”
You sniffle, resting your head against his shoulder now. His heart beats loud enough for you to hear. “Was it true?” you mumble. “Do you really think of me like that?”
He shakes his head, his soft breaths fanning across your forehead. “No, never,” he answers. “I think you’re incredible. My brain was just trying to justify my dumb anger.”
You nod, even if you don’t believe it just yet. But that was a conversation for later, you suppose, sometime in the future when you aren’t on the verge of tears and threatening to crumble apart at the simplest word that leaves his mouth.
“I should have come home like you wanted, thought about my words before saying them,” he says, snuggling closer to you. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop,” you sniffle, covering your face with your free hand as he presses a kiss to the vein that runs over the back of the hand he’s holding captive. “Now it just sounds like I'm just being inconsiderate of your gifts and a crybaby.”
Jungkook kisses your temple softly, gently. “Don’t think about the gifts,” he says. “Just tell me what you wanted to do, doll.”
His voice calms you, has you like putty in his arms. “Watch movies,” you mumble, toying with a thread on your couch cushion. “Be with you.”
He hums. “Then we’ll do that,” he says, reaching for your laptop again. The screen nearly blinds you when it flickers back to life before you, Jungkook’s low breaths against your ear making it near impossible for you to process the titles on the screen. “You liked Disney+?”
Belatedly, you nod. “I like the animated movies,” you admit quietly, the anxieties of before slowly melting away, even more so when he slides his arm around you, pulling you close against his chest.
Unlike other times where he’ll critique the hell out of such childish films, Jungkook says nothing as he starts up the Zootopia movie instead, the same one you had wanted to show him before, right from the beginning. “That bunny looks like you,” you murmur when Judy Hopps first appears on the screen.
Jungkook snorts. “You say that about every cartoon bunny.”
You turn your head to glance at him over your shoulder. He meets your gaze with a small smile you return. “It’s because you’re so cute,” you say softly, lips twisting playfully when his cheeks grow scarlet.
He knocks his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering shut. “Not cute, just lucky,” he chuckles. “Lucky enough to have you.” Your heart turns over in your chest, threatening to burst out of your rib cage at his words. You try to turn in his arms. Before you can say the words that have been sitting on the tip of your tongue for months now, he’s beating you to it once again. “I love you,” he confesses in a hushed whisper, no alcoholic influence. 
Something inside of you blossoms, eyes wide as he chastely kisses you. He pulls away without you ever reacting, too caught up in surprise to kiss him back properly. He stays close, curls tickling your forehead as he leans over you. “You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know. I love you,” he says again, long lashes blinking down at you. “So much. It makes me feel like a stupid teenager again, going to the mall to buy a gift for my crush.” He laughs sheepishly, reaching down to tangle your fingers together. “Is that okay?” he asks quietly, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.
It mirrors the confession he’d given you that morning, those slurred words and teary eyes. It had been difficult to pinpoint the legitimacy of it before, the meaning scrambled by his hazy mind. But with him staring at you like this now, like you single-handedly plucked the stars from the sky to put them in those sparkly eyes of his, it makes something inside you ache.
Still, you choke on your own spit. “I-Is it okay for you to love me?” you sputter incredulously, realizing the oddity of the same question he’d thrown at you earlier. But now, you’re both sober and you can really tear apart that sentence. Jungkook nods a little too seriously for your liking. “Are you crazy?” He blinks in confusion, brows pulling together as you slowly but surely lose the last bits of your sanity. “You’re an idiot, Jeon Jungkook,” you huff, “a stupidly handsome, rich, walking dream, idiot who goes out with stupid girls like me.”
“Not stupid,” he murmurs, closing in on you again as he finally understands the truth behind your masked insults. He smells minty and like his favorite body wash of yours.
“No,” you deny. “You’re actually, like, insane. You have a bachelor pad, make enough money to sustain an entire litter of kittens, look and talk like every teenage girl’s dream boyfriend— but you mess it all up by dating evil, conniving hoes like me who lose their shit over Disney cartoons.” He says nothing, watching you with an amused grin as you talk over yourself, basically regurgitating his statement from yesterday except it kinda seems plausible now that you’re over it. “It’s stupid. No, you’re stupid. No— I’m stupid.”
Jungkook chuckles, kissing the corner of your mouth gently. “Done?” he says, a dimple appearing on his cheek. You could kiss it away, but you need him to know the amount of stupidity in this room was astronomically high. “You’re not stupid, baby,” he says. You level him with a look. “Well. You have your moments.”
“Moments?” you repeat, standing up in a hurry that has him flopping down beside you. Your laptop is lost somewhere on the cushions, the voices faded as they grow farther away. “I am so stupid. I called Namjoon a whore for taking you out for lunch!” you cry. “I am the stupidest person in the world.”
Jungkook cackles, standing up beside you. “Yes, yes, you’re my stupid girl,” he teases, tapping the pout on your lips playfully. “So stupid she slanders herself instead of just telling me she loves me too.” He bumps your noses together, dark eyes staring at you almost daringly after his claim.
You fold soon enough. “I love you,” you mumble, “even if I’m too stupid to say it.”
He rewards your confession with a kiss, pulling you into his arms soon after. He sighs, almost wistfully. “Whatever shall I do with my very stupid girl?”
After exactly three minutes of feeling safe and loved in his arms, he abandons the living room in favor of leading you back to your room, where he pushes you down against your mattress. You cling to him, leaving him positioned over you at an angle. His chest presses against yours, arm curled around the back of your head. “Gotta get up, baby,” he laughs.
You shake your head, caging him in your arms. “Nuh-uh,” you murmur, legs wiggling when he places a hand on your hip.
Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss against the side of your ear. “Your movie is still playing in the other room,” he reminds you, thumb drawing soothing circles on your hip. You don’t release him, his mindless touch only encouraging you to keep him close. “Babe?”
You say nothing, relishing in the comfort of Jungkook’s presence. His hair smells good and feels even softer against the side of your face. The cotton shirt he found is crumpled beneath your fists, dark blue pattern wrinkling. Finally coming to terms with his new home, Jungkook eventually relaxes into your hold with a sigh.
“Alright,” he hums, patting your hip as he repositions himself more comfortably. “I get it. My pretty girl must’ve missed me, huh?” You nod, soaking in every detail about him in this moment. Jungkook shifts, the hand on your hip suddenly falling over your thigh instead. “Or should I say my stupid girl?” he purrs, hand slipping between your thighs. “My stupid, little girl?”
A gasp catches in your throat when he runs his fingers over the front of your panties. Your legs kick out wildly at the sudden touch, toes curling at the hands you dreamt about all day and night. “Oh,” you pant, each brush of his fingers feeling better than the last.
“What?” he says, mouthing against the side of your neck. His tongue feels warm, but the trails of saliva he leaves have you shivering. “Too dumb to speak?” he scoffs, biting down against a particular spot on your neck. You whimper, unsure if it’s because of his hands or his mouth.
“N-No,” you try to sneer back, fingernails digging into his skin through his shirt. His hands are getting braver now, the pad of his pointer finger dancing over your engorged clit. The sheer material of your panties certainly doesn’t help, each touch feeling like it’s being magnified three times over. And if it felt this good with underwear, you can’t even begin to imagine how it’d feel without.
You don’t have to ponder for long, because soon after Jungkook is slipping his hand beneath your waistband, touching your sensitive pussy head-on. “Kook.”
He uses your momentary vulnerability to ease himself from your hold, finally recoiling enough to smother your mouth with his. You moan in surprise, thighs quivering as he gets to work circling your hardened bud sans your panties. Jungkook isn’t the least bit kind as he kisses you ruthlessly, likes he’s trying to compensate for something with his movements. When he finally pulls away it’s with an obnoxious pop and cherry red lips. He huffs, glancing down to see where he’s got his fingers pleasuring you.
Your thighs are squirming back and forth, closing around his hand every few seconds. Jungkook snorts. “Huh, look at that,” he mutters, trailing down until his fingers are gliding over your quickly sopping folds. “Stupid girl is good for something.”
Your cheeks burn. “Kook, I’m not—“
Jungkook levels you with an unimpressed glare. “Not what? Not stupid? But I could’ve sworn you just spent the last few minutes saying you were,” he drones meanly, landing one light slap against your cunt that makes your hips buck.
You bite down a whimper. “I was just…” you trail off, eyes rolling back when he teases one finger against your opening.
“Kidding?” he supplies. “Well, I wasn’t.” Your heart stutters in your chest, eyes growing wide as he finally pushes himself off of you, propping himself up with an elbow beside your head. His gaze is dark and unrecognizable. “I think you’re so fucking stupid, doll,” he sneers. “And what are you gonna do about it?”
You should have seen this moment coming, the manifestation of that shiny side of the coin finally reaching its full potential.
While Jungkook wasn’t exactly shy about his interests, he certainly wasn’t tripping over himself to tell you every new kinky thing he wanted to try. You sort of guessed he had some interest in this sort of play a few weeks ago when you watched the Barbie movie at his place. A lot of that night had branded itself into your three am wet dreams, but there was one particular moment that stood out to you. That was you, on your knees, with him condescendingly patting your head. Or just last week, you vaguely remember the term slipping through his lips as he pleasured you with The Bullet Bestie.
The thing about Jungkook was that, until last night, he would have never admitted, or so much as even thought, that he was better than you. That was fine because you would say it enough for the both of you anyway. Did you think Jungkook was amazing, an absolute diamond among these measly rocks? Absolutely. (Were you slightly biased because you were his girlfriend? Skip.) However, you also had this insane evil villain complex that made you want to brag about everything you possibly could, especially if that meant bragging about your boyfriend.
Realistically speaking, he was better than you, that much you could look past yesterday’s anger to admit, and not even in a stuck-up, conceited way; he had a really good job, an architecturally amazing house, and a hot girlfriend. Meanwhile, you had a mediocre job, an okay apartment, and an insanely sexy Calvin Klein boyfriend, half of which he had pointed out yesterday. Regardless of how powerful that third factor was, he still outnumbered you three to one.
Sue you, Jungkook was amazing. Anyone could see that! Except, maybe, himself.
And if the only time Jungkook would openly brag about his greatness or establish how much better than you he was, was in a post-fight, sex-induced setting, then you were more than happy to be his punching bag. So long as it was on your terms, and not as a result of his weirdly bottled up feelings.
(Yeah, you would have a long talk about that tomorrow.)
But for now, you pout up at him, clamping your thighs shut purposefully. “You’re stupid too,” you defend, “stupid and mean.”
Something in his expression changes. Suddenly, he’s moving at superhuman speed as he snatches his hand out from where you had previously trapped him between your legs, yanking you up by the front of your shirt. “Mean?” he mocks. “Isn’t that what you always wanted?” You shiver, fingers wrapping around the wrist that holds your sweater. “Wanted me to be mean and push you around like a little rag doll?”
Jungkook looks at you for another two seconds, before he’s slowly pulling away from you, leaning back on his knees. His tongue is pressing against the inside of his cheek, jaw tightening from the movement. “Baby,” he says so quietly it instills a prickle of fear in you, tainted with delicious excitement.
“Yeah?” you whisper, sitting up tentatively as you watch him, He was a bit frightening, like a wild animal about to devour you whole.
Jungkook rolls his neck, the joints in his spine cracking as he begins tugging off his shirt. You salivate at the sight, too focused on the sinewy muscles of his body to catch the dark gaze he levels your way. He throws it off to the side, his sleeve of tattoos that wraps around his bicep and begins to crawl down his chest wonderfully unobstructed now. “Eyes up here,” he says and you quickly meet his gaze. He leans forward, muscled arms coming to cage you against the headboard. “Stupid little sluts don’t have the room to make such comments,” he rasps out, unamused expression adorning his normally soft features. “Don’t you think so?”
“I-I don’t know,” you stammer, leaning away as he comes closer and closer, eventually just turning your head to the side to avoid that emotionless look. It’s the wrong move, and Jungkook lets you know as much by forcefully digging his fingers into your cheeks and turning your face back around to meet his gaze.
A hand grabs beneath your knee, tugging harshly until you’re flopping down onto your back with a squeal. You settle with his knee pressed hotly against your core. Jungkook stays towering over you. “Dumb little girls who make me watch cartoons,” he spits, tracing a hand over your chest, molding your breasts beneath his hands roughly enough to make you gasp. “And watch little animal movies on Disney+. Aren’t they just so stupid?”
“So stupid,” you concede, subtly shifting your hips for some desperately needed friction. Jungkook snorts, finally granting you your wish with one rough slide of his thigh against your core.
“I agree,” he says, and surprises you with a hand around your throat as he leans in to properly grind his thigh into you. “All they’re good for is being dumb little sluts with good pussy,” he murmurs darkly, thumb pressing into the side of your neck forcefully. “Sometimes, they don’t even do anything,” Jungkook continues, his other hand on your hip hauling you higher up his thigh. You mewl, soaked panties rubbing roughly against your folds. You miss the soft swirl of his thumb, the gentle prod of his fingers. Even so, you can’t deny this change in Jungkook is doing something to you, riling up a part of you that you hadn’t known existed. Maybe it’s the horniness from yesterday that was left unfulfilled, the one year anniversary sex that was put on pause. “Just lay there and take it, too fucked out and dumb to say anything.”
His fingers loosen for the briefest of seconds and you gasp for breath. “That’s terrible,” you whimper, rolling your hips up into his thigh, so close to his swollen cock.
Jungkook chuckles without an ounce of humor, pressing your foreheads together as he helps grind you to completion. “Isn’t it? I think that stupid little girl is cute though.”
“I’m sorry,” you blurt, vision spotting as he tightens his hand back around your throat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you moan, stomach tight from all the stimulation.
Jungkook hums, slowing you down with a tight grip on your waist. “Hm, what are you sorry for?” he croons, pink lips pulling into an evil smile. “You said you weren’t that stupid girl, __.”
You shake your head, trying to roll your hips up again but he’s holding you too tightly now, rendering you immobile beneath him. “I am,” you choke out shamefully, grabbing at the hand on your hip in a feeble attempt to remove it. “I am a stupid little girl.”
Jungkook smirks, leaning down to slot his mouth over yours. “That’s right,” he murmurs, “nothing but a dumb little slut.”
You shiver, opening your mouth when he slides his tongue against your bottom lip. He’s not the slightest bit nice, and more messy than usual. He pulls away with a bite to your lower lip, meeting your trembling gaze with that same unrecognizable glint in his eyes. “Come on, dummy, keep up,” he snarks before devouring you again. You try to, you really do, but he’s moving like an animal today, despite his slow and drunken movements from that morning. So you end up with his saliva dripping down your throat, clinging to the corners of your lips as he begins slowly grinding you against his thigh again. He flashes you a wicked smile, pearly teeth on display for you as he glances down at your messy appearance.
“Are you gonna touch me?” you ask, lower lip trembling at the thought after your desperate rutting. Jungkook purses his lips together in thought.
“Mmm,” he hums. “Don’t know yet.”
You whine. “Jungkook, please,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you.”
Jungkook chuckles, running his hand up your waist and taking your shirt with him. He slips his fingers beneath your bra, pushing the wire over your chest as he mouths at your neck. “Cute,” he says. “Can’t do it yourself?”
You tremble, chest arching into him as he rolls your nipple between his fingers. “I-I can,” you gasp. “Just feels better with you.”
Jungkook follows your statement with a nip against your skin, tongue soothing over it right after. “Why? Because I do everything better than you? Even make you cum better than you?”
Your cheeks heat up at his blatant ego rearing its head, hands carding through the hair at the nape of his neck. You say nothing, and that only eggs Jungkook on. “Come onnn,” he teases, finally, finally rolling his hips down onto your core. You squeak, head falling back against the pillows as you’re granted the one thing you’d been chasing. “Say it.”
“Say what?” you ask, voice wobbly as he continues to slowly rut against you, the front of his shorts pressing against the soaked crotch area of your panties. “Oh, oh, Jungkook,” you whine.
Suddenly he bites down harshly, teeth digging painfully into your skin. You yelp in surprise, pussy throbbing at the pain that shoots throughout your body. Jungkook pulls away and doesn’t bother soothing over it as he leans up to capture your jaw this time. “Say you’re a stupid little slut who can’t do anything without me,” he purrs, kisses too soft for the words he says.
Your mind blanks, torn between the humiliating phrase he wants you to say and properly checking him in his place. In the end, it’s with a twisted need to please him that you’re repeating the words back to him. “I-I’m a stupid slut,” you whimper, fingers digging into his shoulder blades as he continues pushing you right along the edge. The rope pulled tightly in your core is slowly being pulled apart, threads hanging on for dear life. “Can’t... can't do anything without...”
“Without who?” he asks, reaching down and untying the front of his shorts. “Can’t do anything without who, baby?”
“Without you, without you,” you cry, bucking your hips up against his, the combined movements of both your bodies making you shake like a leaf. “Ah, K-Kook,” you wail, hips stuttering as your orgasm finally swallows you up. Your panties quickly grow wet and icky from your own arousal that pools between your thighs. Jungkook lets you writhe beneath him as you chase your high, mouth sucking a pretty blossom against your jaw.
You know better than to expect the night to end here, especially after seeing the glint that had been in his eyes as he watched you unravel.
He leans close, let’s his nose brush against yours as you catch your breath. “So perfect for me,” he groans, slotting his lips against yours. You can barely keep up with him, languidly going along with his hot tongue. “Perfect, perfect girl,” he murmurs, a stark change from the less than friendly adjectives he used just moments before. “Tell me you love me?” he says softly.
You nod, mind fuzzy as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Love you,” you exhale, letting your fingers knot in his hair. Your proclamation does something to him, makes him grind the front of his cotton shorts hard against you. For someone that was often rough and brutal with you in bed, he sure was sensitive to the mushiest of things.
“Don’t deserve you,” he huffs, hot breath fanning across your skin. He switches gears fairly quickly. “Tell me you hate me,” he begs hoarsely, rutting against your soiled panties. “Tell me I’m a piece of shit and you could do better without me,” he pleads, voice too airy to be another one of his usual sex-induced thoughts.
You shake your head, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he rolls his hips. “It’s not true,” you whisper, “I love you more than you’ll ever understand.”
Jungkook groans, suddenly winding back and tearing your ruined panties down your legs. You gasp in surprise, letting him haul you about in his blind, self-inflicted rage. “Stupid, stupid,” he huffs, though at this point you can’t tell who it’s directed at. With your underwear out of the way, he wastes no time plunging his fingers back into your cunt, bypassing the tight ring of muscle around it without any of his usual care. “You should hate me,” he snarls, lips pressed against your ear.
You moan, back arching at the sudden pleasure that blossoms between your thighs. “I-I don’t,” you gasp, toes curling.
Jungkook groans, the sound traveling down your spine and straight into your pussy. “Stupid girl,” he huffs, slipping an arm around you to pull you so close until you can’t breathe, chests lined up together. His skin is warm to the touch, scorching almost. “Fuck,” he groans, curling his fingers inside of you. You whimper and moan, incapable of staying still beneath him as he tortures you with a thumb to your clit. “Tell me you hate me,” he seethes again.
Despite the fog that’s settled over your mind, you still manage a resolute shake of your head. “N-no,” you cry, digging your nails into his back. They run dark red lines over his skin, making him hiss at the sting.
Whatever punishment he’s trying to put himself through is falling through with your refusal to admit such a thing. It aggravates him even more, your adamant stance on loving him so, and he’s retracting his fingers before you can cum again. “Please,” he chokes, face tucked into your neck. He’s sloppy with his movements; as he pulls his shorts down and kicks them away, he nearly suffocates you with his weight. “I don’t deserve you, ___, please.”
“I love you,” you whimper for lack of explanation. Jungkook leans back, that same madman gaze in his glossy eyes. He’s looking at you in disbelief almost, pouty lips puckered and swollen. Your hands slip from around him, falling on either side of your head.
Like a cobra he strikes, collecting your wrists in one hand he pins above your head. The sudden movement has him leaning in close, lips brushing over yours. His lashes are coated in a wetness he refuses to acknowledge, looking at you like you drive him insane. “If you ever try to leave me,” he whispers, jerky breath fanning over your skin, “I’ll lose my mind.”
He loves you so much it aches.
“I won’t,” you whimper, feeling your own eyes well up with an emotion that consumes every inch of your being. “I’ll never leave you, you stupid, stupid boy.”
A faint smile crosses his features at your words, lips quirking to the side. You relish in it for all of two seconds before he’s ramming his cock into you, your sensitive walls spawning around him. You sob loudly, eyes rolling back into your head. Your legs instinctively hook themselves around his waist, digging into the base of his spine as he rolls his hips into you.
You feel full and complete like he belongs there in this moment and every moment after this. It makes your heart constrict painfully. Jungkook’s soft groans follow your more unraveled noises, the vulgar slapping of skin on skin the underlying melody to it all. “Ffffuck,” he spits, greedily swallowing your moans up. You whine, arms bucking in an effort to hold him close. But he’s determined in his act of restraining you, long fingers tightening around your wrists until they hurt. “I warned you, didn’t I?” he huffs, snapping his hips into you.
Your walls clench around his hard cock, the drag as he exits sending shivers throughout your body. Jungkook’s body towers over you, glistening in sweat as he nails you into your mattress. “Remember what I said?” he asks, voice but a shuddery exhale. You shake your head numbly, overwhelmed by the rough drag across your walls. “All those months ago, when you first came over,” he adds. The hand on your hip abandons its post to cup you beneath the jaw, palm pressing sinfully against your throat enough to block the tiniest of airflow. “I’ll fuck you and keep you forever,” he murmurs, voice deeper than the pits of hell. He licks a fat stripe over your cheek like you’re nothing but a sweet for him to devour. “Do you remember that, pretty girl?”
You nod jerkily, hips arching up into him when he thrusts into you again. It’s a memory that replays in your mind every so often, your first night with the man you had planned to humiliate over a mere misunderstanding, now your boyfriend of one year. “Want that,” you gasp, tears blurring your vision when he begins picking up the pace. “Wanna be y-your pretty girl forever.”
Jungkook groans, kissing the corner of your mouth. His thighs are some magnificent beings, keeping his pace consistent even as he loses himself in his overwhelming need to kiss you. “Always,” he manages, soft lips pressed against yours. “I won’t ever let you leave.”
A shriek tears itself from your lips as he picks up that harsh piston, releasing your jaw to hold both wrists above your head. It makes his curls dangle in front of his eyes, covering that beautiful dark gaze. It makes his thin little necklace swing back and forth too, though it’s too small to actually touch your face. The rhythmic swing has you hypnotized, just like everything else about Jungkook.
With the length of his hair, you’re left staring at his lips, pulled taut between his pearly white teeth. The word from before sits heavy in your chest, begs to drip from the tip of your tongue. But he’s moving too fast and too hard, scrambling your thoughts until all you can think about is the cock plunging into your heat. His name falls from your mouth like mindless blubber instead, arms thrashing as your second orgasm swallows you up. It sends you crashing, body spasming as the sheer euphoria waves over you slowly and then all at once.
“Perfect,” he grunts, leaning down to slot his mouth against yours, “my perfect girl.” Your cum makes the sound of his hips erotic, the loud squelching following your panting. Still sensitive from your high, your body unconsciously tightens around him, keeps his cock from fully leaving. It brings a soft whine out of Jungkook, one he tries to muffle against the side of your face.
“Inside,” you whimper, even though your body feels like jelly beneath him. “Cum inside, Kook, please,” you beg.
It only takes a few more thrusts into your leaking hole for him to finally reach paradise, hips stuttering when that first shot of pleasure hits him. “Fuck, fuck,” he growls, wildly snapping his hips into your achy cunt. You moan, feeling just about brainless at the overstimulation. His cum leaves you full, almost makes your belly bulge from it. When he’s done he doesn’t bother pulling away, simply slumping into your limp form. His cock, though quickly softening, serves as a plug for the cum threatening to spill out of you.
There’s a muted noise coming from the other room, the faint sound of the mail slipping through your letterbox, the quiet chattering of the street outside. And of course, the loud blaring of your laptop playing the Phineas and Ferb theme song. Jungkook registers it at about the same time as you, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.
He pushes off of you soon after, leaning on his palms over you. He’s got that molten look on his eyes, the heat of a thousand suns burning behind those irises as he looks at you. Like he can’t get enough, even though he’s just about taken everything there is to take. “Love you,” he murmurs quietly.
A drop of sweat rolls over his forehead, clinging to the end of his eyebrow. You reach up and brush it away, let your hand trail down his face to cup his cheek. Immediately he leans into the touch, eyes falling half shut. “Love you more,” you respond.
“Impossible,” he scoffs.
Soon after you’re both stumbling out of bed, clothes haphazardly shrugged back on as you drift through the living room. There’s a thin, hot pink package sitting at the door, just having slipped through the letterbox; the stark Sexuality Unleashed logo is printed on the visible side, so you have to wonder what Doyeon could have possibly ordered this time that could be so thin. The laptop is awkwardly sandwiched next to a throw pillow, barely open a crack. Jungkook retrieves it, sets it on his lap as you scamper over to the couch.
“More Phineas and Ferb?” he asks quietly. He hates it, you know he does. And still, he wants to watch it with you.
You nod. “Please.”
He isn’t so concerned with the plot as you, clicking some random episode to start. You snuggle into his side, quietly singing along to the opening. After a moment, Jungkook speaks again. “Phineas and Flirt?” he offers cheekily.
You roll your eyes. “That might’ve been your worst one yet,” you sigh, trying to drown out his indignant huff by focusing on the screen.
“I don’t exactly see you coming up with these,” he points out, obviously feeling wronged.
Without missing a beat you say, “Disney+ and bust.”
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epilogue
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commercial break one ; the resolution
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Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.
4K notes · View notes
cas-rivaille · 3 years
Text
as per request of @annoying-gemini … the brothers reacting to an MC who sleepwalks !!
Sleepwalking MC
It was two am and there was a thud. He got up, wondering who was making noise at this ungodly hour. He walked into the hall only to find-
Lucifer -
- MC ??
- they usually aren't loud so what is going on-
- are you sleepwalking ?
- oh my god. you're sleep walking.
- tries to walk over cautiously and stabilize you before they walk into something else
- accidentally wakes up MC and they scream LOL
- calmly explains to MC that they were sleep walking
- has to refrain from laughing
- he thinks it's really cute tho
- takes you back to his room to cuddle w him so he can make sure you don't sleep walk again
- also cuddles so he's not complaining
Mammon -
- oh my-
- instantly takes out his phone and takes pictures because he thinks you're cute for blackmail
- thinks it's a good idea to wake you up and you both end up scaring each other.
- asks you what you were doing
- the most confusing and funny five minute conversation
- takes you to get snacks and maybe a drink since you're both up
- after you get food you go back to his room so he can "protect you from sleepwalking again"
- in reality he just wants to cuddle you but he's the great mammon so he won't say it outloud
Leviathan -
- was already awake actually, just mad you interrupted his gaming
- he's well aware his sleep schedule is actual garbage
- takes a picture of you and turns it into a meme
- immediately after you fall down the stairs
- he feels so bad so when you wake up he gives you a hug
- blushing mess when he brings you back to his room so you aren't a hazard to anyone or yourself
- gets you an ice pack for your head and cuddles you
Satan -
- his sleep is bad enough from reading constantly
- but boy was it a happy surprise to see you sleepwalking
- he laughed so hard you woke up
- blushy mess when he realized you heard him laugh
- he tells you he thinks it's really cute because he does
- invites yu back to his room where he reads to you until you fall asleep
- cuddles <3
Asmodeus -
- probably the most upset of all the brothers bc you interrupted his beauty sleep
- but the second he saw you, anger ? what's that ?
- wakes you up and takes you to his room immediately
- punishment is doing face masks w him
- after those are done he gives you a shoulder massage and you fall asleep
- saves a picture of you sleeping as his background, with cute stickers and filters on it of course
- falls asleep cuddling you
Beelzebub -
- gently taps your shoulder to wake you up
- thinks you're gonna fall so he puts an arm around you
- checks on you to make sure you're okay
- brings you to the kitchen to get some food
- makes sure to eat fast tho bc you both need sleep
- cuddles ofc
- the next day he gets you to work out w him so hopefully your body is tired and you won't sleep walk the next night
Belphie -
- would have slept through you being loud tbh
- but he has a sixth sense when it comes to you so he got up
- saw you bump into the painting in the hall and laughed
- you didn't wake up after colliding with said painting
- he just decided to pick you up and bring you back to his room where you can sleep and he can keep an eye on you
- cuddles so he's not complaining
----
HHHH I HOPE I DID A GOOD JOB HAVE A GOOD DAY AND REMEMBER TO DRINK WATER <3
- mars :)
98 notes · View notes
lunaastoir · 3 years
Text
cute things i think the genshin characters would do
characters included: diluc, kaeya, venti, and albedo 
****minor lore spoilers for diluc!****
an: i’m thinking of making this into a series bc this was such an adorable concept to write so lmk if you’re interested 👀 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
diluc 
sorry kind of starting off with something a little sad 
i think diluc would have a habit of rubbing his vision 
ok seems kinda dumb at first but let me elaborate: 
after the death of his father, diluc was quite obviously devastated 
he basically withdrew into himself after letting all the grief, pain, and rage flood his senses
i think during this time of grieving, he would’ve developed this habit of running the pads of his fingers across his vision to calm himself down 
(v similar to katara from atla) 
since his father had always been proud of diluc’s vision, the thought of touching something that reminded him of his father has always been able to bring him some sort of relief no matter how short lived
it serves as a constant memory of his dad and i think being able to have that kind of connection - no matter how small would hold a significance to him 
stressed? you’ll see his fingers dance across his vision as the crease between his eyebrows gradually loosens 
ok here’s a bonus habit (bc the previous one was sad) 
whenever he’s bartending at angel’s share, he always flips the bottles in this cool bartending way before pouring the drinks 
like the whole shabang - flips in the air, shakes it in a way that the drink foams just right 
people are usually v surprised when they see this bc woah mans has got some sKILLS 
but also bc he’s known for being pretty serious and reserved so seeing a “trick” is kind of breaking the stoic image they have of him 
after he’s done pouring the drinks he’s also really precise about closing the bottles 
he makes sure that the caps are on tightly and that nothing is leaking (which ig is another reason why he does flips with them so he can make sure that the bottles are tightly closed) 
yes he’s rich but he also wants to make sure the drinks don’t go bad bc 1) kind of a loss if they do and 2) his customers deserve the best 
sweet man pls protect him <3 
kaeya
when he’s sitting down at his desk, he brings his legs up so he can sit on his chair criss- cross applesauce 
since he’s in his office and the only other person who’s in there with him is jean, he feels like he can drop the suave, charming cavalry captain facade he puts on when he’s in public and just dial it down slightly to who he really is in that moment 
jean doesn’t say a word the entire time even tho she quite obviously notices 
don’t get me wrong, he’s still the smooth talking kaeya but just,,, more relaxed and comfortable?? if that makes sense 
so since he’s a lot more comfortable in his office, he usually folds his legs into his chair bc damn they hurt from walking around all day
this is kinda dumb but i also think he has a lot of ink stains on his hands from writing so whenever he sees a fresh one he just likes to stamp it onto a piece of paper 
usually that piece of paper ends up being an unimportant report that goes to jean 
dw he also has a bunch of pretty small towels in his bottom drawer that he uses to wipe his hands on bc the public can’t see the pretty cavalry captain w ink stains!! the world would end!! 
oH kind of a side note but i also think he would keep a small folded up picture of something klee drew him in his pocket 
he thinks it’s very sweet and he periodically takes it out just to look at it soft for this man 
last one for kaeya but since he wears boots that have the little lip on the bottom (not really a heel but enough to make some noise) he makes sure to always try his best to walk quietly around the streets of mondstadt at night 
if anyone catches him doing it he’ll wave it off and say something like “oh me? i’m just practicing my stealth - it comes in handy when you have to sneak up on enemies you know?” but in reality that’s just bs 
he really just doesn’t wanna risk waking people up <3 
venti
this adorable man is obviously notorious for drinking 
he loves alcohol!! i mean he’s the anemo archon of the city of wine and freedom so is anyone really surprised 💀
anyways venti always jokes abt not having any mora (he really doesn’t he’s not wrong) but he always makes sure to pay his tab at angel’s share 
the only reason diluc lets him drink sm is because at the end of the day, venti always comes through w the mora 
he really is a talented bard so everything he makes in singing and composing music for other people to listen to always goes straight to angel’s share (debatable if that’s for the best or not but i’ll leave that one to you) 
so yeah <3 basically venti pays back his tabs even tho he’s an archon since he doesn’t want people to experience a loss bc of him 
it’s the archon nature coming out but also the venti nature bc he’s a sweet boy 
anyways getting onto the actual habit 🕺
he has a tendency to skip/hop regardless of wherever he’s going 
he uses his anemo elemental skill a lot while doing this just he can feel a light breeze whenever he skips around 
i also think he carries around extra bard strings in his hat bc he thinks it’s a cool party trick to take them out and be like tada i have extra strings no need to worry!!! 
people are usually not that amused but he does it anyway 
also yeah uh those strings sometimes fall out when he’s skipping 💀 
he’ll be hopping and suddenly bOOM they fall out, he loses them, a kitten by the name of prince takes them, and he has to ask for help to find his strings (i believe this is exactly how venti lost his strings to prince during the windblume festival and no i will not take any criticism and if venti says something different he is lying 🔪)
also has a habit of putting his hair into a bun sometimes!!! 
he loves his pigtails but he finds that he gets bored of them occasionally and his hair needs a break from its wavy tresses so he just plops it into a bun instead 
so so cute 10/10 hairstyle he can do my hair 
anyways love this man thanks for coming home <3 
albedo
i had a feeling i would kind of have a hard time w albedo since he is a little hard to read so i hope this is ok LMFAO 
he has paint stains. everywhere. no you cannot change my mind. 
they are subtle tho i will give him that 
you can’t notice that anything is amiss until you really pay attention and then you’ll start to see the pretty pastels and greens of the sunset he was painting up on dragonspine softly smeared across his clothes 
very rarely you’ll see a cute swipe of paint across his cheek or neck and it’s honestly adorable 
he was probably pushing his hair out of his face while he was painting and some excess paint on his finger landed on his cheek :,) 
he doesn’t really care tbh he thinks it’s just a part of him and it really isn’t that noticeable so he just leaves it 
also!!! since he is a big alchemist and he’s constantly working on labs and experiments i think he would accidentally misplace a lot of his written work 
he seems very organized but w someone as intellectual as him w his brain running miles a minute, i’m sure he has definitely forgotten where he’s put stuff away 
so!! in order to help him remember, he has little notes across his lab detailing where everything is 
if he was working on something and he immediately has to put it on hold bc something came up (klee came in demanding attention or sucrose needs help) then he’ll quickly jot down a note and stick it to his desk so he’ll remember when he comes back just in case he forgets 
sucrose as a result has noticed A LOT of notes across the lab and it’s simultaneously funny and endearing 
“started experiment with sweet flowers to try and turn them into a youth elixir: papers --> on the desk right next to klee’s photo” 
final point: he lets klee braid his hair sometimes if she wants to 
she doesn’t really know how given how young she is so she ends up messing up but albedo always walks her patiently through the steps again 
always makes time for klee no matter what bc he really does care a lot abt her :,) 
i love him sm pls 
222 notes · View notes
lilikags · 3 years
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ೃ‧₊› a b o u t  t h i s  p o s t° ➮ Pairing: Miya Atsumu x reader ➮ Oneshot ➮ Tags: fluff ➮ Word Count: 2182
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A/N: This is for @serowotonin​! [for Luna’s Valentines Day collab] Ik I said I was doing Atsumu bc “I was bored” but I always say “imagine being bored” and truly, I haven’t been bored for so long. I forgot that this was for the collab for a fat moment then when you saw the preview I was like, “Wait- no- it’s a surprise.” 
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Premise: You and Atsumu are cleaning out the apartment, when you find a few letters you thought you would never see again… 
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“Oi, (y/n), look at what I found,” you heard Atsumu say, leaning over the contents of a drawer he had been sifting through. 
“What?” you walked over to see what he had found. The two of you were cleaning out the apartment, as you were going to be moving out soon. Atsumu had a habit of keeping things that connected him to an important memory of his, unless he wanted to forget it- and this was one of them. You didn’t know he kept them- actually, it did make sense of him to, but you had simply forgotten about it and you somehow expected the same for him. You looked down to see what he had in his hands, and your face literally went emotionless as you saw the letter in his hands. 
You really didn’t mind the letters, for the most part. Actually, they held dear to you. However, that first one… you were grateful for it, but you also remembered just how bad you wanted to buy a grave space and bury it for eternity back then... 
Miya Atsumu.
This was a dare. This is a love letter. For Valentines. Happy valentines day. If you have extra chocolate, send me some. 
Sincerest thanks, (y/n). 
Atsumu usually threw away the letters he received every Valentines. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude; it was just that there were too many letters for him to read (and reply to), so he usually just threw them out. Osamu often teased him for this; he boasted that he at least read his letters.
“Oi, ‘Samu, look at this one,” Atsumu called out to his brother. 
“What?” Osamu looked at him, with a face of disbelief. “Yer actually lookin’ at them?”
“Nah, not really, but this one’s hilarious,” Atsumu laughed. 
“Okay, not funny, keep yer lame humor to yourself.” 
----------------
“(y/n), truth or dare,” (b/f/n) asked. 
You smiled, “Dare.” 
“Hmmm… alright, send a love letter to Miya Atsumu- it has to be at least one line long.”
“I’m- okay then.” 
You brought out a piece of paper, wrote the first things that came to mind, and once you reached one line, you stopped. You folded the paper and grabbed whatever envelope you could find and sealed it with tape. The dare required actually giving the letter, much to your dismay, but it wasn’t like you could back down from a dare. After all, it was (b/f/n), and the nonstop teasing would definitely occur if you failed to complete the dare. 
Dearest (y/n), 
I did in fact receive your rather interesting letter, and I have decided to bring you some chocolate as you wished. I wish you, as well, a very happy valentine’s day this year.
Most sincerely, Atsumu. 
Atsumu was intrigued enough to write a reply; in fact, he decided to write in the most formal way possible. He knew from the letter that you were either a tsundere or someone who was actually dared to do so, and decided that it would be fun entertainment for the both of you. 
When you received the letter, you were surprised to see a reply. It was known he didn’t send out replies, yet you had received one. As you read it, you felt a need to reply; you’d simply feel bad if you didn’t. However, what was there to talk about? How the chocolates were good? He had stuck it on your first period desk, out in the open. And you also sincerely wondered what was with the overly formal tone. You do remember writing the most shitty letter you’ve ever written to him, and that volleyball-obsessed dude just writes something formal to you? Baffles the mind.
Well, then, if he was going to reply, you would too. 
Miya Atsumu,
Thanks for the chocolate- your fans make pretty good chocolate, I have to say. Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, ‘cause all ya focus on is just volleyball. Anyways, what was with the overly formal tone- ya like me or somethin’? Would be funny if ya did and I turned ya down. XD  
(y/n) 
You never really thought of Miya Atsumu, but this really sparked your interest. It was amusing, his reactions. It was definitely something you didn’t expect- you actually didn’t expect a reply at all. The reply you received was definitely out of the ordinary as well, one you never thought a hotshot volleyball player would write. It seemed he was interested in you in some ways- and you as well. 
(y/n),
Pfffft, you think I might like ya? I just thought yer letter was interestin’, that’s all. Ya really think I can’t make chocolate? Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, I’ll show you. I make you chocolate myself and we’ll see how it tastes. Just you watch, I’ll make ya say I make the best chocolate ever! 
Atsumu. 
You saw that in your shoe locker the next morning- and everyone saw it. You were beginning to regret actually replying to him, but there was no backing out now. (b/f/n) really hit the goal here, for her. People were probably talking about it. It’s always some event that involves romance that catches everyone’s eye. And since it was just after valentine’s, everyone would automatically assume it was a love letter. In reality, it was simply a little bit of playful banter. 
You wondered if people actually knew who it was. You hoped not; it would gather way too much attention for your liking. You’d have an entire fanclub after you, and it was definitely (b/f/n)’s fault that you got into this entire mess. You had absolutely no idea if anyone saw him slip that into your shoe locker, since it had probably been there for a good hour or so before you and most of the other students got there. In any case, there was nothing you could do about people knowing things they already know, so you headed onto class. It was exam week, and you sighed; it would be a long day. 
When you arrived at homeroom, you were not-so-pleasantly surprised with what you found at your desk. You just wanted a quiet day; go to school, take the tests, and get out so you could relax at home. But no, you just had to see this and you knew there was a thing called rumors you had to deal with. Well, you could just be like “whatever” and not care, but you definitely knew who’d be after you, for real. Atsumu’s fanbase was quite scary, and definitely large- a group of people one would regret messing with. 
“Ugh- what am I going to do with this chocolate now, he gave me a lot yesterday…” 
“(y/n)! Oiiii, you got chocolate?! From who from who-”
“(b/f/n), if you say a word, you are going to be dead to me.”
“...” she looked away, but then turned to you again and whispered in your ear. “So, Miya Atsumu, who has a fanbase, likes you.” 
“I’m- no-”
“But what I’m seeing says otherwise?”
“Ugh, you’re coming to my house and you are going to pay for that dare.” 
“Oh ho ho, seems like I started something…” “Bet you did.”
Pisshead Atsumu
LMAO bet ya didn’t make the chocolate, yer terrible at lying <///3 seen this chocolate before. And like wtf you put a box of chocolate on my desk with YOUR NAME on it. Ya know that people will do a thing called assuming things, right? Smh, think before you act. Anyways, I’m counting on ya to fix up this mess.
(y/n)
When you finished class, the first thing you did was write the note. You were absolutely paranoid with this mess, and you were going to have Atsumu fix it. Yes, you did technically initiate contact first, but that was (b/f/n)’s fault and this could’ve avoided this if he hadn’t pulled off a whole stunt. 
It was already around 6 when he saw the note. A small smirk filled his expression, he was so sure that he would be able to get a good reaction out of (y/n). It was written on scrap paper, the back of a phys. ed worksheet. You wrote it in a rush, very obviously. That wasn’t really what caught his attention though; he was puzzled as to how he would fix this. Tell his fans to fuck off? Osamu would tease him for eternity.
“Oi, what’cha starin’ at?” he heard Osamu nag. “Mom’s waitin’ for us for dinner.”
“Hey, ‘Samu…  ya know how to fix this?” 
“... ARE YOU AN IDIOT- YOU ARE AN IDIOT.”
“I AM NOT! YOU ARE THE IDIOT HERE!” 
“SAYS THE ONE WHO GOT INTO A MESS LIKE THIS!” 
“Oi, ya shouldn’t be fightin’ at this hour,” the two heard Kita say, as he gave them a certain look. “... ‘m sorry…” the twins apologized.
Even after a fulfilling dinner made by their mother and a nice, hot shower, Atsumu still couldn’t think of a solution. Osamu almost snitched on him, but he decided that there was enough on their mom’s plate of problems at the moment. 
“What if ya said you were dating?” Osamu offered. 
“HAH?! ARE YA INSANE?!” Atsumu yelled at him.
“That would explain what happened at valentine’s.” 
“But there’s nothin’ between us-”
“Yer fanclub wouldn’t really believe anythin’ else.”
“Yeah…” 
(y/n),
Can we meet when practice ends at 6 on Thursday?
M. Atsumu.
“... I’m- Is he just going to apologize then run away? Tch.” you sighed. You had the idea that Miya Atsumu was overconfident and carefree, but not to this extent. The least he could do was fix this- he had power over his fandom and what people said about him, unlike you. You had to go, it wasn’t like you really had much of a choice if you wanted to talk it out and fix it. 
“Hey, (y/n) are you and Atsumu dating?” one of your classmates asked, and a bunch of others hovered around the table, waiting to hear a response. (b/f/n) had told you rumors had spread around the entire school; you figured that would’ve happened. Any topic related to the twins spread like wildfire, especially the blonde-haired one. 
“... Can you not try to pry into my private life?” you replied, which you instantly realized was exactly a wrong answer to give. This implied that you were in fact dating Atsumu secretly, and you just made your life 10x worse. You figured you should just tell everyone what had happened, then the blame would be on (b/f/n)- it should preferably be placed on Atsumu, since he started it, really. 
When you met him at 6pm, you expected no contribution from him. Instead, you were met with a solid plan for something you weren’t really happy about, but it seemed the easiest to convince the public of a story they put out. 
“(y/n)... let’s tell them that we’re dating.”
“Hmm… well, they already think that…”
“I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking…” “It’s fine. All we can do is move forward, I guess.”
“Yeah… ‘Samu gave me this solution; it’s all I have, I’m sorry if it’s-”
“It’s fine. Let’s go through with it. Just protect me from the crazy fangirls; that’s all I want.”
“Ya.” 
“And we’ll need to put together a coherent story; what’s yer number?” 
“Ahaha, seriously, maybe (b/f/n)’s a prophet. She told me that she was aiming for somethin’ to happen between us,” you commented, remembering what happened years and years ago. 
“Ya were just so unnecessarily worried about the fangirls,” Atsumu mentioned. 
“Oi! Yer fangirls were hella scary back then…” 
That night, you stayed up coming up with a story, which ended with the two of you breaking up so that you could go on your separate ways again. However, the story didn’t last too long, as (b/f/n)’s parent’s investigations went a little too far and spread the truth a little too much. (b/f/n) is one thing, but you had almost forgotten her parents were another, seriously. They’d been a little busy over the last few years, thus the lack of investigations of local drama, but they had been doing so for decades, what could you expect from them? 
Nothing was Atsumu’s fault to the fanclub, unless he seriously convinced them that it was. You were guilty until proven innocent. Unbeknownst to you until after, he gave them a whole (to be honest, not-so-great) speech on how he kind of went too far with the joke, but also placed the blame on everyone else for assuming things. People were absolutely ridiculous; their ideas and their insane imagination should learn that the left side of the brain exists too. 
“Funny how we met again after college, after all that time.”
“Ya… a real wonder” 
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Another A/N: OMG THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR ‘TSUMU FORGIVE ME IF I WROTE HIM LIKE, WRONG IN THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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『••✎••』 Extra Info * ˚ ✦ ⇢ If you would like to read some of my other works, find them here! * ˚ ✦ ⇢ Taglist: @serowotonin​ @luna-la-ley​ // send me an ask if you would like to be added!
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crowsent · 5 years
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👶,⭐,💘, and💻. Love you!!
thank you for ask anon! writer ask game is here if yall wanna send in something. still taking asks for these btw
👶- advice for new writers =
yall this is hella fucking generic but PRACTISE. theres a reason almost literally every writer on tumblr gives the advise of “practise practise practise” and that reason is it works. practise doesnt mean ‘oh just write bc youll automatically get better over time’ it means ‘write bc if you dont, you wont figure out what you need to improve.’ did yall know that i literally had no sentence variation in the past? i started every sentence with [character name] or [character pronoun] and i didnt realise until i was 15/16 and i only realised bc i started writing a lot.
i think there’s a fear of failure with new writers. there’s this lingering doubt of  “what if its not good?” and boy howdy i will answer that question right fucking now. it wont be good. when i compare my current work to my earlier work, my earlier work sucked fucking shit. i spelled soldier with a fucking ‘j’ and i had no idea what the hell a point of view was. and thats okay. whoever tells you that youre going to perfect writing is a fucking liar. there is no perfecting writing. 20 years from now, imma look at the writing from today and im gonna think it sucks shit. writing is a process. its a craft. you get better and better over time and the way you get better is by experimenting w different styles, different genres, different ways of writing.
and the only way you can experiment and improve is through practise. in video games, especially rpgs (which are my favourite kind of video games), you struggle in the early game. youre at a low level, you dont have good equipment, you have a hard time moving to the next area. but the only way you progress is by grinding, gaining levels, and getting stronger. same w writing. if youre a level 1 writer, just starting out, no idea what to do, just experiment. fuck around a bit. write crackships, write rarepairs, write niche self-indulgent reader/character fics. at the end of the day, you should write for yourself. its good and cool if other people like your stuff and validate all your hard work, but at the end of the day, the one who should enjoy your writing the most is yourself.
you WILL mess up and you WILL struggle, but thats the only way you can improve. i struggle with pacing the most. still do. but others might have pacing down pat and struggle instead with word choice or pov or something else. cant figure out where you need to improve if you dont write, so just practise and worry about all the fine print later
⭐️- how do you get your inspiration? =
this is definitely not universal, but i just sit on my bed, close my eyes, and meditate. cycle through all my emotions and thoughts and filter them out. then i just toss everything out the damn window. like. id just meditate for a while, focus on breathing, on experiencing the present, picture a field and a tree and myself and breathe. thoughts fly by and i let them happen but dont focus on it.
meditating gives me some semblance of emotional control bc i normally have none, and it gives me kind of this space. this safe space that only exists for me and me alone. so i use that space to let the world drift away. just me and my thoughts and sometimes, those thoughts end up being good writing ideas. but i usually meditate for a set amount of time. like 15 minutes or 30 minutes so i dont write until i finish meditating.
then when i get out of my headspace, i open up my laptop and see what i remember. thinking too hard about something causes it to muddy up. same with art. in digital art, artists flip the canvas to refresh their eyes, see if there’s anything weird or wonky about the illustration that they normally dont see bc theyve gotten used to it. flipping the canvas is like giving our eyes a jumpstart and lets us see what we could do better. in traditional art, its turning the canvas this way and that or repositioning yourself. meditating is like that. a break. a cleanse. a kind of pause where you dont think about anything and just try to process what you already have. you relax and kind of let yourself float down a river of thoughts and sometimes, a fish would jump out of that river and youd go “hey, thats a good idea. i should try that” so when you get out of the river, youre refreshed and ready to go.
same principle with showers. more ideas come to you in the shower when you dont have anything to write with bc youre not thinking about it. youre not focusing on finding inspiration or motivation so ideas naturally flow through you. you know that feeling when you want to do x then someone comes along and says “hey you should do x” and suddenly all motivation to do x leaves? same w your brain. focus too much on “i should be writing” or “i want inspiration” and its never gonna come. just let things happen. at least, thats how i do it. some people might get inspiration by reading or watching tv. everyones different so if thats not what works out for you, dont feel pressured to try my method
💘- what’s your favorite AU? Least favorite? =
magic au. specifically fantasy au set in like a pre-modern era. shows like avatar where theres all this magic and fantastical beasts and so on and so forth. semi-modern like six of crows and nevernight are great too. i want that magic to be woven into people’s lives. harry potter is okay but there’s like this separation between magic and muggle. there’s this feeling of “magic” but like as a tool. like a spoon or a gun or a shovel. i want magic au’s that are INTEGRATED with the world its set in.
like in atla, earth kingdom people have trains they move with bending while fire nation people have machines powered by heat and steam. both correspond to their bending and makes sense for the world they live in. but if your plot is like harry potter and its less worldbuilding and more action, then there’s this book series called seasons rising (read it. so good) where there’s a bunch of spells but the spells have character. the people using the spells GIVE it character and it feels much more intimate. pokemon does the whole fantasy mixed w reality better. give two trainers the exact same pokemon and by the time that pokemon reaches lvl 50, its gonna have a different moveset, different fight style, etc bc it was shaped by the world and people around it. i like harry potter but tbh it could have been so much better
for the least favourite au, it’s A/B/O i dont like the whole “omegas are only good for breeding hurr durr” and “alphas are violent and aggressive and cant control themselves around omegas” thing and it squicks me out. major squick. i read the original harry potter squick (THAT one. yeah. you know the one) and i still hate a/b/o more. i get why people like it, and there are one or two fics set in a/b/o au that i enjoy reading, but as a whole, i severely dislike a/b/o fics.
the themes are squick, the character dynamics get so messed up, and shipping dynamics (bc a/b/o fics usually have shipping) just get so blown out of proportion. there are so many a/b/o fics that turn ooc or the character interpretations radically change or something else. no hate against a/b/o fans bc yall are amazing for writing/drawing yalls au. there are things that you can only do in this setting and exploring those things can be incredibly fun for people, but for me personally, its not an au i like to visit.
💻- three works of yours that are must reads =
i. dont know what fandom youre in anon or your genre preferences. so ill just rec you one fic for a different fandom each with kind of different genres. ts masterlist is on my side @hufflepuff-deceit and regular fanfic masterlist is on my writing blog @crownonymous 
(BNHA) Viper. its my first serious attempt at fanfic in YEARS and its my baby. currently has 7 chapters, i havent updated it in a while bc im hyperfocused on ts rn, but i love it to bits. its just all of my fav bnha fics crammed into one fic. quirkless kind of villain izuku with stain as a mentor as they work together to bring light to the injustices of hero society and where bakugos bullying has visible and long-lasting repercussions? sign me the fuck up. you can read it on ao3 HERE bc its not on tumblr. kind of fast-paced, has a lot more action scenes than anything else ive written. heavy plot-wise but has a lot of humour and comedy to break things up
(Kimetsu no Yaiba) I Pray To God He Hears You. not related to my other kny fic oleander which is a multichap retelling au. iptghhy is a standalone one-shot and kind of a character study on one giyuu tomioka. i love him so much. giyuu is my baby and i adore him. so of course i wrote a sad fic focusing on him. well technically, the fic focuses on giyuu AND his relationships.  SPOILERS for chapters 130 and 131 of the manga. focuses mostly on giyuu and sabito, but there’s a fair bit of giyuu and tanjiro and urokodaki.  you can read it HERE bc this is also not on tumblr. also deals with heavy things but more emotion-wise since it doesnt have that much of a plot. loss. grief. moving on. survivors guilt. that kind of stuff.  very sad. hurt but with comfort, especially at the end.
(Sanders Sides) Logan’s Birthday Fic: Logicality. just what the title says. i wrote 5 different fics and published them all on logans bday but the logicality one received the most feedback and honestly? the cutest of the bunch. its gonna be crossposted onto ao3 but for now, you can read it HERE on my ts sideblog. theres no plot since its literally just domestic and relationship fluff. and puns. patton is in the fic, theres gonna be puns. nothing but good things and warm feelings bc logan deserves it.
-
thank you so much for such interesting asks anon! i enjoyed answering these. have a lovely day!
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raftels · 6 years
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As requested, here’s a masterlist fic rec for the following categories 1) ASL brothers; 2) mugiwara nakama feels; 3) some shippy fics; and for those not really falling into any of the requested categories, I put in “others”. I took some liberty in the categorization whelp but hopefully this will do. And you didn’t ask for it but I put tiny notes on each rec’d fic bc I felt like it haha
If you wanna rec some fics that aren’t here, please, by all means, send them to me. If any of the link is wrong/broken, do tell me as well. If you want to rant/talk/squeal/cry/etc over any of the fics, I’m forever open to messages and let’s cry together.
aaand, if you haven’t been following fyeahonepiece, please do so  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
anything about the ASL BROTHERS some might be toeing the line of shipping but i’ll put a warning for those
The Best Responsibility by echaryn Summary:  Watching Luffy and Sabo bond makes him...envious. Their obvious love and affection, the way they are always together, the trust between them... it makes Law anxious, and jealous at the same time. He lost his sister before...before he could even start to understand what being an older brother means. He's nobody's older sibling anymore, but it's still inside him, isn't it? Notes: clicked on this not really expecting much but jfc oda please let this be canon i beg you like i didn’t know i needed bigbro!law until this
Brother Complex and How It Traumatizes Others by Alsheon Summary:  In which, Ace let nothing be in his way to boast about his dear baby brother. Not even in the middle of War. And not agreeing means death. A painful death. Or in another sense, Ace stopped running but for an entirely different reason. Notes: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN’T CANON LMAO this is legit my all-time favorite
What Happens When You Assume by revolutionarykoala Summary:  The Straw Hats are overjoyed to finally meet Luffy’s elusive brother Sabo. When they finally lay eyes on him however, they realise that assumptions are best to be avoided when it comes to the D. Family. Notes: in which asl confuses the shit out of everyone and yes it’s forever a mood and my aesthetic
Little Spitfire by VictoriaJL Summary:  My take on Ace raising Luffy with his caring and loving tendencies. Garp is an old geezer. Dadan throws tantrums. And the bandits are helpless, Oh, did I mention that the whitebeard pirates are completely and utterly in love with adorable little Luffy? Notes: i live for ace and sabo’s adventures in raising baby luffy lmao  
The Three Admirals by Miqila Summary:  What if Sabo, Ace and Luffy were the three admirals? Notes: i need more marine!asl fics
Triple Switch by Pachimew Summary:  In which Luffy can't find his hat, Ace is on his brother's ship, and Sabo is very confused. -Kinda self-indulgent. No ships. Pre-Saobody. Notes: swapped!asl loool another all-time favorite of mine
Through Time by xXDia-RoseXx Summary:  Ace and Sabo looking for Luffy wander into a cave and end up 12 years into the future. Through the craziness they meet their Little brother now 12 years older than them. What are two kids suppose to do when their Older-Little Brother looks at them sadly but smiles at them with glee? They try and make him happy again that's what! Notes: *screams into the sun* ASL!!!!!!!!!!!
To be made into Adults by The Eternal Empress Summary:  "When will you let me to adult things, Ace?" you ask, eyes shining bright and ears still wet behind. I pat your head as I smile. "When you're old enough." But, I know that isn't going to happen because I'll never let you become an adult (In which Ace and Sabo's brotherly love is contorted to a degree of no return) BrotherlyASL. AU. Notes:  me, at the ending: oh shiiiiit i didn’t expect that???
Same Difference by Beyond Kailani Summary:  AU. One small change can make all the difference...Someone thought lost returns Notes: the canon my asl babies deserved
The Legends of Kintaro (and Gintaro and Dotaro) by jamie15 Summary: It's Children's Day in the Kindgom of Goa, and neither Ace nor Sabo could care less. That is, until they find out what other day it is ... Notes: *slams fist on the table* this was so damn cute!
Moby Dick’s Tales by FreeFan1412 Summary: an AU where ASL ends up in the moby dick Notes: this one’s a series so just click on the author’s page and asl + whitebeard pirates is always a good laugh
(Wh)y is equal to 45 by The Eternal Empress Summary:  Ace is drunk, Sabo crashes into his room, their cat, Sunny, has been sitting by the doorway for days, and Luffy forgets the answer to (wh)y. (In which Luffy tries to find the value of y as well as the reason behind his brothers' and Sunny's mundane behavior, and the TV makes him remember the answer). Modern AU. Brotherly!ASL. Notes: i don’t wanna spoil anything but  i was shookt asdfghjkl this was so beautiful
Magical Messes and Panicking Professors: Welcome to Hogwarts by ScarletteSorceress Summary:  What do you do when you have three mischievous brothers sorted into three different houses? Well according to Headmaster Whitebeard and Professor Shanks you drink as much rum as you can before Marco can get to you. Magic spells, overturned cauldrons, and inter-house prank wars fueled by sibling rivalry; look out Hogwarts, life's about to get interesting. Hogwarts!AU Notes: asl + harry potter yes two of my favorite things
Bonds of Sea and Fire by Mithril Lace Summary:  After the fire in Gray Terminal, a worried Luffy sneaks out to go looking for Ace, only to wind up captured by Bluejam and taken from the island. When Ace finds out Luffy's been kidnapped, he sets out to retrieve Sabo so they can go after him, and a chance encounter at sea drastically alters their plans. Notes: my asl feels + them ending up with the whitebeard pirates
Not everyday is a good day, live anyway by cand13 Summary:  Not everyone tells the truth, trust anyway. Not everyone will love you back, love anyway. Not every game will be fair, play anyway. How else could anyone survive what they have and still be that lively? Notes:  ASL growing up with Whitebeard story
Somewhere to Belong by Pizza yum Summary:  Garp and Whitebeard strike a deal and Luffy, Ace, and Sabo are sent to live with the Whitebeard Pirates for six months. The trio and crew alike do not know how to handle the situation but eventually they figure each other out and the brothers find somewhere they feel like they belong. Notes: young!asl alive together is what i breathe for
Twist of Fate by Takuku Summary:  A One Piece AU where Luffy and his brothers set out after the fire in the Gray Terminal, and they come across Marco and Thatch of Whitebeard's crew. Things go differently from the original. Notes: it’s not as if im saying im weak for young!asl with the whitebeard pirates..........but i am
Ten Years Make No Difference by YohoAruto Summary:  What if Luffy was instead ten years younger than Ace himself? But as anyone would know,a life with Luffy is much more crazier and troublesome than it should be. It's just that the 'soon to be pirate king' is much more cuter. Notes: baby!luffy raised by ace and sabo YES also lmao at luffy’s first word
Come Morning, Together Again by mapplepie Summary:  One day, Ace woke up and decided shirts were overrated. Apparently it was contagious, because Luffy soon thought the same. Sabo just hoped he didn't catch whatever it was that was going around (but he does in the end, and he couldn't be happier). Time-travel. Notes: sabo is fucking done and this is the fix-it we all need
Surprisingly Addictive by ReluctantlyBratty45 Summary:  Just a story of Luffy being Luffy, but as a girl. Wacky adventures and awkward situations abound. fem!Luffy. Alive!Sabo. Notes: all i can say is that luffy’s lucky to be a boy in canon bc imagine how more protective his brothers could have been
Start of a Joke by loosingletters Summary:  A pirate goes to Impel Down and shares his cell with a political bargain chip and a wannabe noble. What sounds like the start of a really bad joke has just become reality for Ace. Notes: if asl never grew up together well there’s always impel down as a good meet-up point, i guess
Fix it, Sabo! by InsanelyWriteful Summary:  Sabo comes home to find that he really can't leave Ace and Luffy alone without some catastrophic event taking place in his absence. Now it is up to him to deal with the ultimate horror: A crying Luffy. Notes: ace trying to act cool despite panicking over making luffy cry lol
Sharp Knife of a Short Life by saraku Summary:  The Blood of the Covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Notes: asl short series in which i live for my boys being alive
Meet the Family by siqwithaQ Summary:  Luffy's was probably the most interesting proposition Zoro had ever heard, so naturally, he just had to go along with it. Notes: PITBULL - that’s it, that’s the fic.
Family Reunion by Eiliem Summary:  After Ace's rescue from Marinford, the Straw Hats hitch a ride on the Moby Dick so Luffy can check up on his brother... and because they forgot to secure transportation of their own. Notes: what should have been canon before/during/after marineford arc tbh
Saving Ace Together by firefistphoenix Summary:  What if all the straw hats come together to save Ace? set after impel down and immediately towards Marine-ford. Also Thatch is alive and I intend to keep Ace and Whitebeard alive too. Notes: everyone alive is my kink
wish by spirit if by yes by midnightluck Summary:  Mostly, Sabo likes his job, even when it means trying to chase down pirates like Whitebeard in the New World to discuss important Army affairs. Okay, maybe especially then. Notes:  Reunion AU where Sabo's a lucky little brat, everyone's happy, and nothing hurts. Well, okay, some stuff still hurts. BUT THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN HOW CANON HAD GONE ;___________;
Immortality is What We Leave Behind by BedlamAnjelle Summary:  The lines between mythos and humans were very clear cut, and Marco liked it that way. Everyone knew that the great Suzaku had deemed humans savage and was content to have nothing to do with them ever again. Which is why the phoenix lord buying two humans- young boys, no less- at the auction came as a shock. Especially to Marco. Just what was he thinking, yoi? Notes: all the kid!acelu feels and reluctant papa!marco ++ izou & thatch
Wild Blood by siqwithaQ Summary:  In a world where the King never died, Roger and Dragon try to raise their sons away from the government's eye. Secrecy turns out to be more of a challenge than they bargained for. Notes: im sad this hasn’t been updated bc we were getting to the really good part of toddler!ace and baby!luffy finally meeting
Young and Built to Fall by fingers-falling-upwards Summary:  Ace will save his nakama. He will save his father. And he will save his little brother and ensure Luffy's happiness even if it kills him. Again. Thankfully, he won't be doing it alone. Together, he and Luffy will change the world. Notes: a timetravel fix-it fic
Learning Freedom by elri(angelrider13) Summary:  They were slaves. One who had known freedom and lost it; one who had been born without it. Will a chance meeting give them something to live for? 15yo!ace and 3yo!luffy Notes: ughhh this remains as one of my all time favs jfc it’s so beautifully written and my heart aches on how young and innocent luffy is and how ace raised him up; warning for heavy themes; it’s been discontinued though bc people kept plagiarizing it asdfghjkl
Ten Years Difference by Stormy1x2 Summary:  It's amazing what differences there would be if there were a ten-year age difference between Ace and Luffy. For one thing, how on earth could Ace possibly feel good about himself leaving Foosha Village if his brother had been six-and-a-half instead of the canon fourteen? Notes: older!ace and younger!luffy + one piece canon sign me up
Ace in the Hole by Reign of Rayne Summary:  Raised as an assassin with no knowledge of his father and holding no drive beyond the orders he's given, Ace finds his whole world flipped by one small boy and a promise. Notes: older!ace and younger!luffy fics is my kryptonite
Gang Wars by samettikettu Summary:  In order to protect his most treasured possession, Ace joins the Whitebeard gang but soon finds out that protecting his brother is much harder than he had thought. When gang wars rampage and child welfare officers knock the door, Ace is lucky to have friends around him who are willing to help him and his four-year-old little brother, Luffy. Notes: ace raising luffy hell to the yes
A Pirate’s Resolve by Anjelle Summary: Luffy has finally reached his dream of becoming the Pirate King. He goes to visit Ace's grave to finally finish his journey. But really, there's more adventure awaiting him. When he arrives on an uninhabited island with his crew, he's attacked by a stranger. However, perhaps this boy isn't a stranger after all. [AceLu brotherly. No pairings] Notes: did someone ask for acelu feels??? here you go
Adopted by Default by Kitsune Foxfire Summary:  Moby Dick is anything but peaceful on a regular day. The crew is just well used to their special brand of crazy, however. So when an unexpected guest arrives, it throws everyone into disorder. Really, where the hell is this cheeky brat's crew? Someone needs to tell Ace that his ship-brothers are NOT babysitters! Notes: another all-time fav bc i live for luffy breaking the whitebeard pirates
Drunken Brocon by DemonKittyAngel Summary:  It isn't until the first time Ace gets drunk that they learn he has a brother. Doting on him has become a favorite pass time and they can see him thriving under the attention. Such a cute little brother. Which is why it comes as such a shock that he's a big brother. "Did I tell you about the time he got swallowed by the alligator, again?"   Notes: Drunk!Ace Brocon!Ace Family!Whitebeards
Breakout by Karukyuu Summary:  After being momentarily stopped during his invasion of Impel Down, Luffy wakes up one hour earlier. Not only does this spell the worst trouble Impel Down has ever seen, but also bestows the Marines with a most unwanted surprise. Notes: what do you mean this isn’t what happened
Never Save by siqwithaQ Summary: Ace's guardian angel might be something other than an angel. Notes: alternatively titled as “hurt me more dot jpg”
Soulmates!verse by Elri (angelrider13) Summary:  There was always one Angel and one Demon. No more, no less. One was pure, the other tainted. They were never meant to co-exist, and yet, they find themselves inevitably drawn together. Notes: there are 3 stories in this universe with basically the same theme of angel!luffy and demon!ace; warning (?): this also toes the line of being shippy between ace and luffy but well it depends on the reader i guess
Forgot to Hide the Bodies by siqwithaQ Summary:  Despite being lovers and sharing an apartment, neither Ace nor Luffy ever found out what the other does for a living — not to say that there haven't been close calls. Because, really, some skeletons in the closet are more literal than others. Ace/Luffy Notes: warning (?) acelu is shippy; but ok goodness this one made me laugh
Brave and Strong by samettikettu Summary:  Everything made sense now, why Sabo hadn't hugged him back and why he didn't say much to him during their brief meetings. Or why he hadn't waited till he woke up. Sabo blamed him for Ace's death. Notes: i didn’t know i needed yandere!sabo until this
Borrowing Days by Strange-Charms Summary:  Sabo was determined, he'd do this right. To make up for all those he'd missed. Notes: ahhh such a “quiet” and nice sabo and luffy brotherly bonding
Detective Loomes and the Phantom Thief by samettikettu Summary:  Detective Sherlock Loomes is the greatest detective in all England and he's tracking down the murderer who took his friend's life, a man called Moriarty. During his investigations, another criminal catches his eyes and messes up his head with his charming smile. It's the Phantom Thief Lupin! Sabo/Luffy Notes: everyone’s roles are great; warning (?): shippy sabolu
The Monkey Clan by loofahlover Summary:  Zoro had never thought that going out with Luffy would be easy. But that knowledge had not prepared him to meet with a senile old marine, an ex-mercenary, a half-drunk traveling salesman, a fireman with a questionable skillset, a shady government agent, and an even shadier sociopath. Notes: this was tagged as zoro/luffy but the focus was on the “monkey clan” and this was fcking hilarious and literally has been a rollercoaster from start until the end lmao I LOVE THIS
The Hat by Taisi Summary:  About a year before the Corrida Colosseum in Dressrosa, Sabo met one of Luffy's nakama. Well, they didn't actually meet. They spoke, but names weren't exchanged; other things were. Notes: so simple but sooooo good; AU drabble
NAKAMA FICS ALL of akurosa’s fics are a must-read!!! but let me list down my top ones from this author this is the price that has been paid in full (Some days, it's the ridiculously small things that break them and make them start over again.)   moments like this (simple and sweet Zoro&Luffy nakamaship moments)   Next Time Won’t You Sing With Me (The Straw Hats' ABCs. Short stories, all Luffy-centric with crew member interactions and sometimes, with Ace. notes: the last chapter (letter z) killed me hence, this) Like When a Fox Falls (Last time, he saved them. This time, they'll find him. A modern-reincarnation fic)  
2 Things by The StoryBooker Summary:  Zoro contemplates the things he does for his captain. Then he has a conversation with Rayleigh about what it means to be a first mate. Notes: im weak for first mates complaining about their captains
A Light Against The Dark Sky by zealousfreak27 Summary:  In which Robin Nico adopts six squirming children, becomes an object of interest for a famous elderly violinist, makes the acquaintance of a very interesting demolitionist, and learns to live again. Notes: pretty sure im gonna rec all kid!luffy fics tbh
Already Forever by Taisi Summary:  Hundreds of years from now, historians will never know what her captain was thinking, when he brought Enies Lobby to its knees with a declaration of war, when he attacked a Celestial Dragon on an island in an archipelago, and she won't be there to explain, "it was for a friend, you see?" (In which Nami comes to understand that the world will never understand Luffy.) Notes: nami’s thoughts are pretty much the fans’ thoughts
Always Gold by kokune Summary:  He's tied to a tree, his swords and crew are missing, and now some ten-year-old brat calling himself Sabo is waving around a lead pipe, demanding to know what happened to his little brother. Zoro closes his eyes and wonders if a bottle of booze will appear out of nowhere if he wishes hard enough. It's not like the day can get any weirder, anyway. Notes: post timeskip!SHs encounter young!ASL on Dawn Island
Copycat by Taisi Summary: And then, so quickly no one saw it happen, the man is reeling back with a broken nose, the creature is swept up and away, and Luffy- cradling it safely against his chest- looks as surprised as the rest of them. (In which there are absolutely no miraculous returns, and old wounds ache before a rain.) Notes: *wraps luffy in a burrito blanket*
Calendars and Kings by Taisi Summary:  "When I was little, all the other kids got treats and candies on my birthday too, so I didn't know it was special for me. Ace always said it was, but I thought that was just 'cause he was my big brother. I thought that since it was already a holiday, it didn't count!" Notes: just some nakama feels for all of us
Inversion by siqwithaQ Summary: "He wished things were different. He wished things would change." Notes: did someone ask for an ocean of angst in 1 chapter??? here you go
Inanition by Taisi Summary:  in·a·ni·tion, noun; lack of mental or spiritual vigor and enthusiasm; exhaustion caused by lack of nourishment. Notes: [In which Luffy's metabolism is faster than his doctor understands.]
Linger by Duzzie Summary:  AU. They're just a bunch of lonely kids in a hospital ward before he comes along: the boy with a smile like sunshine. Notes: what was that you wanted more angsty fics??? here you go
Smile Again by Taisi Summary:  His eyes are bright, and his mouth is stretched into a grin as wide as the world, and looking at him Usopp could cry. Notes: Modern AU, Nakamaship; there’s a lingering ache bc of the loss but the support of the mugiwara family is there
The Straw Hat by EmberEvolution Summary: The straw hat Shanks had given Luffy all those years ago finally fits on the boy's head. For anyone else, it would be an exciting event as it proves that they've grown from before. For Luffy, it's an event that triggered a panic fit and the reason behind it is simple: What if he outgrows his treasured straw hat? Notes: luffy has legitimate concerns ok
S We Walk the Beaten Path by soomin Summary: They were so close to the end that a few of them have actually begun to think about the ever after. However, Sabo warns the Strawhat crew that one of them will not make it to the afterwards if they go to Raftel, the crew thinks. It has always been pirate king or death. Not a single one thought that the “or” could one day be “and”. Notes: The highlight would have to be how each of the crew member reacted and tried finding a “solution”.
In The Bag by Kamu Summary: All pirates have hordes of treasure.It just so happens in this life, cats are the treasure in Luffy's. Notes: luffy as the owner of mugiwara!cats but this def needs the next part to update
Kizuna by YokoHogawa Summary:  Usopp carefully watches Luffy over the sandwich he is biting into, and he can’t help but worry. Sanji has an anxiety problem. Something wakes Zoro at the crack of dawn. Notes: nice approach immediately after the crew’s 3d2y reunion
Exclusivity by Taizi Summary:  A stranger flirts with the oblivious Luffy, and the Straw Hat Pirates reveal a possessive streak. Notes: ngl i’m weak for people being protective over luffy
Breadwinner by siqwithaQ Summary:  Because when the trouble doesn't find the Straw Hats by itself, the Straw Hats have to go looking for trouble. Notes: im still choking with laughter especially with the law-luffy-nami scenes lmao
Nothing but Trouble by Kitsune Foxfire Summary:  Marco and Thatch have had just about enough of the Moby Dick's newest passenger. Whenever Ace isn't trying to kill Oyaji, he's driving the rest of the crew insane with his bizarre habits. They're not even sure if they've picked up a feral dog or a person anymore. Who the heck raised this kid, anyway? Wolves? Notes: oh, ace, i love you
Unexpected Emergencies by blueh Summary:  Luffy had been alone most of his short life, with no one to love and no one to rely on. This all changed, however, when the Whitebeard Pirates stumble upon his lonely little island and take the four-year-old boy under their wing. Who knew that the little rubber brat would become one of Oyaji's strongest commanders when he grew up? Ha. The Whitebeard Pirates sure didn't. Notes: ahhh the bonding of luffy and the whitebeard pirates as he grew up was so nice
SHIPPY FICS aka i didn’t know i shipped anyone in one piece but damn these fics are good
An Interesting Proposal by petiteneko Summary:  If anybody told Smoker that he would have a casual conversation with his boss at a pirate's wedding, he would have thought them beyond insane. Law/Luffy Notes: wherein smoker’s sure he didn’t sign up for this bullshit and the wedding hall has got to be the “most wanted area in history”
Her Pace by Arithra Summary:  When Trafalgar Law first met Strawhat Luffy in the auction house on Sabaody, he like everyone else, assumed her to be male. It was a simple fact. A fact that would not survive their second meeting. Law/Luffy Notes: genderbent!luffy and as usual he/she is still so damn cute
Stow Away Captains by xairylle Summary:  Law sneaks into the men's quarters of the Thousand Sunny. Zoro contemplates on how to deal with it. And Luffy, well, Luffy is just Luffy. Notes: screaming over the predicament of zoro, sanji, usopp, and brook lmao
Youthful Years by grayclouds Summary:  Snippets and bits of seven years in Hogwarts during which Law hopelessly pines for Luffy. Law/Luffy Notes: the hp au every fandom needs
We’re Not Nuns by deadhemoglobin Summary:  Luffy went to prison. [[ZoLu, LawLu, Prison AU, warnings inside]] Notes: explicit Zoro/Luffy y’all and the premise was interesting
A Clash of Blades by Arithra Summary:  Mihawk had lived by the blade, had lived for the blade and the moment she lost her title she would die by the blade as well. Only Shanks ever dared to disagree. (fem!mihawk; Shanks/Mihawk) Notes: i thought mihawk looked pretty in oda’s genderbent drawing so i casually looked for a fic then this happened and jfc ngl this works sooo well and the fact that the author managed to keep them in character was super nice
ASL in Love by Kereea Summary: Three things would be true about the ASL Brothers’ relationships: they would be spectacular, they would be weird, and Shanks would not approve of his kids’ love lives. Marco/Ace Sabo/Koala Law/Luffy Notes: papa!shanks is the best and him raging over his kids’ “special others” is the best Hey, Mr. Star, I Think I love You (Please Love Me Too) by JuHuaTai Summary: Rising star actor, Marco Newgate, and the darling of the music industry, Spade, are just friends. Good friends who met in the most awkward of circumstances, and hold great respect for each other’s craft. Okay, a whole lot deal of great respect, and there might be a shade of crush here and there, but it’s a celebrity crush and that’s all there is to it.At least, that's what they kept saying. The whole world sure doesn't buy it one bit. Marco/Ace Notes: fluff goodness literally this is what you’d need if you wanna have toothache from all the sweetness also i cry over luffy being a youtuber
We’ll Look Back and Laugh at Ourselves by JuHuaTai Summary: Between his new boyfriend and his workaholic boss, Marco felt like he was surrounded by family issues of the father and son dispute variety. Maybe it was just a coincidence.Or maybe he should've listened to the office gossip more. Maybe then he'd figure it out sooner. Marco/Ace Notes: i relate with whitebeard and (later on) rayleigh
Thwarted by a Malign Star by DeadSkullB Summary:  “Fuck pirates, they're scum - except for Luffy, Luffy's fine… But he's not a pirate yet… that means it's fine, yeah, pirates suck,” Ace said matter-of-factly. Then his brain slowly caught up and he looked at the man - his face, not his very, very nice chest - with narrowed eyes. “Are you a pirate?” Marco smirked and pointed down at his chest. “You’re Marco the pine- Phoenix,” Ace stumbled over the word, heart having leapt to his throat and filled his ear with constant drumming. He didn't realize he spilled his drink - when had he gotten a refill? Marco/Ace Notes: came for the summary bc ace doting on luffy even as a marine is gold and stayed bc damn that was hot; nsfw & explicit obv
One Piece Soulmates AU by Charlie_Mou Summary: You have the name of your soulmate tattooed on your body but it's the name that will have the biggest impact on the world. Marco/Ace Law/Luffy Notes: The variety of One Piece Soulmate AU, mostly MarcoAce, LawLu, and others which isn’t written yet.
OTHERS of doughnuts and meat by dami_an Summary: "Where's my MEAT?!!" Behind the counter, Katakuri looks up from the sales ledger. He sighs, "Told you; this is a bakery. We don't sell meat here." "But you have meat buns!!!" Luffy whines. Notes: “in which katakuri's a baker and ends up befriending a seven-year-old luffy”; the exasperation of katakuri ftw and kid!luffy is the cutest basically a very wholesome shit i live for
The World Goes Around by WinglessCrows Summary: "How come you're called the pirate hunter, when you're a pirate yourself?"- How Zoro got his nickname and how his stupid captain was somehow involved. Notes: a headcanon i accept
Grandfatherhood by Keereea Summary:  Sengoku and Garp chat about Sengoku's discovery about Law. Notes: “Like Sengoku wouldn't tell Garp "crap I've join the 'my grandson's a pirate' club." warning (?): there’s a tiny bit of lawlu at the end
An Old-Hat Rivalry by lunarshores(damichan) Summary:  Three times Marco met a different man wearing the straw hat, and one time he decided to follow it. Notes: i just love the takes of authors on how marco and luffy’s dynamic is going to be and ugh the ending was so cute
A Song for the Heartsore and War-Weary by Summary: "Sorry, Ace," Marco murmured to himself as he riffled through the stack of old newspapers. "I don't know how it happened, but... I think I'm stalking your little brother." Notes: another take on marco and luffy’s dynamic asdfghjkl
Unsinkable by RikoJasmine Summary: The Straw Hats find out that their captain has one hell of a family. When asked about his mother’s whereabouts, Luffy simply grins and throws his arms out, gesturing to the endless expanse of sea around them. With complete sincerity, he replies, “The ocean is my mother!”An AU where Luffy isn’t entirely human, and water affects him differently than other Devil Fruit users. Notes: an interesting take on who luffy’s mother might be
Take It From Another Savior by JadeFlicker Summary: "You realize, by saving Straw Hat-ya, you may very well have indirectly changed or saved a lot of lives.” “You think?” “I know.” On their way to Wano, Law and his group just happen to meet the Red Hair Pirates. Notes: ahhh, i loved the “quietness” of this fic and some interactions between characters i didn’t think i’d be interested in seeing (hence this)
Like Cats and Dogs by PitViperOfDoom Summary:  It should be easy to judge a man by the shape of his soul, but Strawhat Luffy spits in the face of logic and predictability. Notes: i finally found a daemon fic yes
Law’s Adventure in the Thousand Sunny by LuffyForKing Summary: Law's thoughts on the crew's antics. Rated T for some swearing. Notes: basically, the strawhats broke law lmao
About You by pitchblackfingernails Summary:  “Is he serious?!” He heard faintly from Eustass-ya’s direction. And it seemed that he was. Because “Straw Hat” Monkey D. Luffy, dodged one, two bullets that flew in his direction, formed a fist, pulled his arm back, and then, with a shout, hit the face of one of the World Nobles with a force that sent the sucker flying halfway across the room, completely shattering the benches that were in the way in the process. And grunted in satisfaction, a fierce and proud look on his face. Law would be lying if he claimed that the sight didn’t make his heart skip a beat. Fucking hell. So that was Monkey D. Luffy. Notes: warning (?): it’s tagged as law/luffy but so far, it’s more on showing law’s pov on luffy pre timeskip
Every You, Every Me by tokyonightskies Summary: “Did you know, Roci…” Doffy begins in a voice that only spells out trouble. As if he knows something Rocinante doesn’t, has never thought about until it’s said and done. “That Sengoku keeps your marine file in his desk?” There’s something comforting about how unpredictable his brother is, something he can count on at least when there’s nothing else to rely on. He grabs a commentary on their great-great grandmother and puts it on top of the others, on the pile of papers he doesn’t really suspect his brother to read thoroughly. “I didn’t.” He responds tiredly as he shuts the drawer and leans against the wall, “Do I want to know how you know?” Doffy comes to stand next to him, tilts his head back until Roci can glimpse at his eyes from the side, and teases, “I looked, of course.” Notes: interesting take on what if roci wasn’t allowed to infiltrate the donquixote family and continued being a marine but it has only 1 chapter whelp; there are pairings tagged but then again no shippy thing at all since it’s not updated
Black Scab by tofu-melon Summary:  Having been raised by his grandfather since a young age, Luffy grows up powerful and intelligent enough to become part of the CP9... more precisely, he becomes their Chief Director. Notes: warning (?) it was tagged as Lucci/Luffy but so far it doesn’t have any yet
Drop-In Voyage by Lily Noire Summary:  So how does one go about visiting family on the other side of the globe? Easy: just board a ship. There's a pit stop on the way, you say? Dangerous, is it? No biggie, simply wreak havoc. And watch out for that fist! Strongest man in the world? Really? Then, surpass him it is! - Luffy did always have his priorities straight... somewhat. Notes: ahhh i wish the author would continue this bc i wanna see everyone’s reaction to their visit lol
My Family Can Beat Up Your Family by rose7anne101 Summary:  Big Mom decided she needed to make an unforgettable example of one of the Worst Generation, her chosen target: Straw Hat Luffy. Alive!Ace Notes: this is the canon we deserve wherein nobody died and luffy’s still wrecking havoc
Oh God, My Eyes! by Kitsune Foxfire Summary:  No one could ever really be sure what went on in Garp's head. So they weren't sure if his new cloths were some kind of strange D-related tactic, or if the man had actually lost his mind. If they'd just look at the date, they'd know. His cute grandsons always sent the most thoughtful gifts for his birthday. Notes: garp the grandpa ftw
Pets by clarobel Summary:  AU. Zoro was a stray until Shanks picked him up and adopted him. Now in a house with reindeer, kittens, fish and dogs, the green cat doesn't know who to trust. Luffy's delighted to have a new friend to play with, though! Notes: mugiwara as pets hell yes
The Justice of Freedom by Stelra Etnae Summary:  Garp is a pirate, Roger is a Marine? The Marine top-tiers are full of slacking drunkards and the Yonko are obsessed with rice crackers? Just what kind of chaos will unfold in a world such as this? A role-reversal AU where everything is upside down and no one is quite sane. Drabble series. Notes: im sCREAMING loool
Storm by  Kuroshi44 Summary:  Because even across the seas he would find a way to let his child know he cared. Notes: i can’t wait for a legit dragon and luffy reunion
Supernova Family by YohoAruto Summary:  There are laughter, shouting, fight, all the halabaloo. It's what families do! But we all have to wonder if this family can survive with eachothers? Just a regular Supernova Family. Notes: ok but i really love the supernovas and this modern au fic is gold
The adventures of the Supernova pirates by WhimsicalAnimeFan Summary:  This is the story of the Supernova crew, under their captain, Strawhat Luffy! Join Luffy as he travels the east blue and through the Grand Line to collect pirates for his crew! Notes: thank the heavens they’re not under one crew
Throne Without Direction by Som3on3 Summary:  "You have an old soul," Benn said and Luffy wanted to laugh, that's one way to put it, falling from the heavens and chained upon the earth. Instead he only gazed at the unchanging sky before smiling, "I'm just a free spirit." Notes: this had so much potential especially after the reveal in the latest chapter but it hasn’t been updated ;________;
**will add more from time to time
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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years
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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 5, 2019 // return of josh
oooookay folks! that's a wrap! below are my comments about tonight's ep + additional expansions on previously stated opinions. i'm not combining s2 ep 1 with this bc s2 is dead to me! so is s3! i only did this to gather up all these loose thoughts i had when this show with its one lonely season became such a comfort to me that i developed a second consciousness about it. but with these posts i am done! the evil is defeated! i will carry on through the 3rd and hopefully final season of nancy drew with less emotion and better spirits. thank god.
-"talk to owen" nancy firstly thinks of talking to owen only to see what happens w the agleaca; saying goodbye comes as sorta an afterthought mirroring tiffany's possession of george. yet nancy was unable to say goodbe to owen just like w kate. knowing this reveal about kate, i wonder if this was foreshadowing that something big will be revealed about him later? unlikely but still
-nancy + the reality of broken things: 'totems' like broken sand glass sculpture (good place) to show you it's not a dream; "owen broke that" ghost trap to ground him to reality, like how she reached for her locket in the good place, lucy's charm, ace's bear ('totems' idea borrowed from inception)
-george has never been an affectionate person, even with other women- so why does pda with nick suddenly become so important?
-lots of comments about ryan + women but what about carson/kate and karen? again with the hypocritical (interestingly, there is an aspect of violence to women connected with ryan (even though that violence is not his fault); but its not like kate or karen fared well either)
-ryan feels useless- relationships with women as stated by nancy- he seeks to redeem himself by showing up where nancy goes to prove he is good to have around/necessary/needed - but now that he is attempting to act as a parent he has to break through nancy's defenses all over again- firstly she didnt really consider him any kind of threat bc he comes off as incompetent- ie bad business deals- i think i mentioned last ep, their hauntings equalize them as they both attempt to gain peace by searching for answers but now ryan has changed the terms of engagement so he's back to square one, with carson. (which is how we find them s2 cowering in ryans car stalking nancy together)
-ryan's relationship to nancy exposes an interesting layer here. so far she doesnt know about nick/george but they still hold the cards (ie george gets one over on nick's ex/"the new girl") with the revelation of ryan being nancys father, nancy gains an interesting trump card in navigating the social fallout of being nick's ex. like george would take the new spot but then nancy comes out with george's ex in a much higher category. this plays out later on in the ep when george confronts ryan. george wants to talk about "them" but ryan shows up completely focused on nancy, thus illustrating the trump
-"i thought it was whitney with another insipid question" to me this sounds like whitney took bess's advice earlier about "asking aunt diana what she wants" (only to learn it actually annoyed the hell out of diana lmaoo)
-"then you need to fight for it" this hearkens nancy earlier by asking "arent you in by virtue of dna?" the test was positive; she is a marvin just like nancy is a hudson. thats not a fact that they can change. however, diana really acts like it can be changed- and in s2 we see it does change. its interesting for bess to be told to fight to be in a family she's already in and also foiled by nancy trying to fight her way out of her own family. would like to see bess stand up to diana and say something. i mean, she exists. as much as she may want to erase bess from the family, diana cannot erase her existence
-hannah's rolled up sleeves 💙
-"previous keepers records" -from s2- were those not her parents??
-mistaken murderers- everyone incorrectly assumes lucy was murdered just as they assume the agleaca killed owen
-even if owen weren't the price, how can they pay the toll without one of the people who called? i mean if it was anything other than owen and he still died they still wouldve been fucked
-"you don't need to check, i'm not even driving!" okay and giving up the goss. cassidy is me. lmfaoooo
-wonder if this locked marvin industries box will ever come back
-UNPOPULAR OPINION: george's confrontation with ryan comes waytoo late to do anything. i think i brought this up in an earlier post. its literally just her screaming at him now. like he is clocked out moved on. you know a good time for this scene? in the claw when he comes by to "check on her". hes vulnerable, fresh from rehab. and she has a chit over him for punching bookcases/the fuckin country club deal. therewould have been a perfect time to confront ryan on what happened- "what you did to me" okay sis. you admitted ep 1 you werent in hs anymore. youre of age now. admit you fucked up. take the L to force him to swallow the bigger L. and imagine how much more powerful the scene would have been- in george's domain, literally her own office, something ryan doesnt even have because HE DOESNT DO SHIT. ryan is SO EASY to trap but nobody notices. instead they have george try to get some kind of apology out of him when hes already done with that, and only for the sake of her establishing a new relaionship to boot. imagine how much more empowered she would feel if she just got that closure for herself- because she needed it, not so she could trot straight back to nick being all proud of calling a grown man to some random estate only to scream at him in a parking lot and have accomplished nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️
-i get patrice thinking nancy is lucy but yeahhhhh this isnt how dementia works 😬
-i almost cant with nance and josh. how do you save your would-be murderer? (+ lucy's best friend and brother are in jail, her mom is lost to her mentally; all she has left is nancy and ryan)
-tbh i had no idea how to spell agleaca until bess said "theres no i in agleaca!" i thought it was igleaka like 😂
-damn how george just stares at nicks hand and then gets out herself is just so sad (like she immediately rectifies it but still...)
-"curiosity" part II; nancy who comes back to the sea after her mother died in it- agleaca drawn to lucy's trauma/to agleaca, lucy died fir "love"- would nancy be willing to risk the same? // this is also one of nancy's "mirroring mom" moments: winning sea queen, going to the velvet masque, getting caught by celia, having a "chat" with everett, and "falling" off the bluffs
-the collector 🎵👌🏻
-i wonder if there's any significance to the locations/means of their deaths; nancy's is pretty straight forward in terms of where and how, but why george and nick drowning, in the truck specifically? drowning in love? idk. ace's at the claw i get, but he gets himself caught? in what precisely? what does the fish hook mean? and bess's makes the least sense- burning alive? in the marvin estate? maybe the agleaca picked the most painful death for the marvin blood relation? idk. up for debate lmk ya thoughts
and lastly:
-i remember seeing this ending for the first time and i had just been traumatized by avengers endgame and since black widow is also a redhead seeing that shit at the bottom of the cliff it was like 😰😰😰 TOO SOON
-random thoughts-
these are just things i noticed, feel free to grapple with them or take note of them for extrapolation in s3 (lord knows i wont be) they probably belonged in recaps for previous eps but i either didnt find them in my notebook or couldnt fit them in
•nancy and truth/the perception of truth: using facts to suit theories instead of creating theories to suit facts- nancy often plays with the perception of truth and the details that fall between the steps; but she is also a victim to them by people who also know how to play the game (ie Carson) ex lying about the dress (tea cups and knives, trash got picked up, bail paid 1 hr ago) her inferences can be off from what others tell her ("people always lie") but she can also come to the wrong conclusions organically (carsons trial) more willing to believe the best in others/wanting them to be innocent (think nick ep 1) but later finding out the truths hurts more so she chooses to isolate herself and avoid involving others to be spared pain
•maybe i'm dumb, but who is "mr marvin" exactly? owen? the bald guy from the funeral? this comes from the guy who takes sailboats out like ep 4ish and says "ive worked for the marvins 20 years" she compliments the ship, he says "mr marvin and i just took her out this morning" so?? who is that? plus last ep just saying cassidy and isaac are her "late husbands children" dows thet mean sebastian? like did diana marry in? i feel like it would be odd for her to so embrace the "marvin way" if she wasnt a true born marvin
•ik college becomes a more s2 topic but none of the crew have ever been to college 🤔
•nick + the relationships with people whose reputations are tarnished: tiffany with investigating the hudsons/marvins, josh with murder/attempted murder, kate and 'stealing'/lying about nancy (esp compared to her almost preternatural kindness i mentioned before), george and her mom/family's reputations --> this kind of segues into nick + the concept of believing people you love could be capable of horrific things- accidental or on purpose (see- having to tell his family what happened)
•at the beginning, nancy kind of seems to be the "i'm sorry you're upset" kind of apologist and knows it. she also doesnt usually apologize earnestly bc shes never really sorry (she always has to get what she needs first ie coins mess) and she doesnt want to lie; to me it seems she doesnt like to bother with other people bc they require certain cues/niceties that are often lies- they ask "how are you" without meaning it, they dont really want an honest response except "fine", they dont like it when you call them out on fakeness, etc/ they require apologies for their bruised feelings even if youre right (and nancy can be pretty rude/nasty if provoked- a harshness unsoftened by sympathy)
•cont'd from the good place ep- since kate apparently means nothing to nancy anymore according to last ep ("stop calling her my mother") is her policy of "always seek the truth" now null and void? this mantra is now tainted bc the person who gave it to her broke it so much. can nancy disengage w it now? does she fall from grace to be complicit in "mysteries" of her own like everyone else? does she lose some of her "god-like" holier than thou act bc she is now literally born and raised in the "darkness" of sins/ugly truths like everyone else's? (ie truth is ugly but not to nancy, until now)
•did lucy disappear because her "murder" was finally solved? or simply because her trauma was addressed- she never meant to tell anyone about her suicide plans, the twisted trauma of which was too great to contain/unable to move on due to "sin" - or unable to move on because secret of nancy's parentage still remained? "lucy never wanted me to figure out how she died" she only wanted nancy to figure out her parentage without solving the mystery, yet did lucy see/witness nancy's revelation at the claw, or with carson, or even ryan? waiting for karen/josh to know? or just vanished?
•concept of imperfect mom figures- lucy, kate, celia, victoria, even karen- who all struggle with failings
•since karen dispelled one of lucy's attempts at nancy's haunting at the garden party, is that proof she isn't haunting karen?
•the crew + needing adult help: george's possession and victoria, club busted and owen, car accident and mcginnis, thom and cipher, larkspur lane and sal, bones and john, agleaca and hannah
•everett is always sitting- at his home office, at dinner, at yacht club (wonder if that was his actor + had to do with his recasting?)
-dad talk-
•both her dads think negatively on her "girl detective" thing but ryan sees use in it as a means to get answers, carson would never 'use' her in that way
•nancy + carson : suffering
"what about what i wanted?" + carson being imprisoned for weeks but she immediately rejects him (the DAY he gets his freedom no less) with no regard to his suffering (caused by herdiary!!) in regards to her own from this new knowledge (she does suffer a lot- "almost dying is my new normal" but still)/ the "thankless job" of parenting
•nancy + adults - connected to cop thing a few posts earlier : nancy is v precocious and smart for her age- she is "old enough" but also has trouble with the "adults" in her life- fathers, moms, karen, and cops letting her down but depends heavily on "adults" she cantrust- hannah gruen, john sander, lisbeth- highlighting her youth and occasional naiveté; nancy is unafraid to hold adults accountable for their actions (ie karen) but also loses them as allies along the way. both hannah and john are very nonthreatening and also experts in their fields, while her fathers and karen are revealed to be "just another brick in the wall" average, capable of mistakes, and not the people she expects them to be, while characters like john and hannah can only benefit nancy because either they do not mean as much to her or have no reason/nothing to gain by lying; they are purposefully shown to be small, demure, gentle, and nonthreatening as foils/opposed to karen, ryan, and josh whom she previously trusted; carson (+kate) is nonviolent as well but has the biggest betrayal which is perceived as an act of violence to her very personhood/shattering who she thought she was so she cannot be that anymore (admits truths to john "everytime i dig i hurt everyone" and hannah-agleaca) : unclear if redemption is possible for anyone :
•nancy bonds with carson over loss and then ryan over haunting. but actually, nancy rejects carson over loss bc she wanted to say goodbye and wasnt allowed to- so carson was with kate but nancy was not. nancy and ryan are more equals about haunting bc they both start around the same time and conclude together as well [nancy and ryan bond over thinking their parents conspired to kill lucy- think sitting on the floor at velvet masque] nancy is appreciated by ryan for her ability to get answers- he has no qualms about going through her/outside of police bc he wants results/instant gratification and thinks nancy is more so the expert in her field/respects her even through her age- once again acknowledging she is braver than he is (think lucy + claw parking lot) and her portent in the car freaks him out bc shes usually always in control, esp with him
•bc nancy was told "you can't be afraid of the truth" until she was / ironic bc shes braver than him except when the truth is they are related then she's scared to tell him while he actually starts to take some initiative
•nancy picked "the wrong person" to help her through her grief in her dad's eyes like her mom's best friend was somehow a better choice? carson truly "parents" nancy even during grief and haunting (which she rejects) whereas nancy and ryan are really equals in all their situations which is actually better for her and easier for her to maintain- nancy's expectations are low so anything that ryan gives is a bonus. nancy's expectations of carson were shattered by his lies so now she has nothing to connect with him about- they could barely even connect when sharing the same grief- carson actually very hypocritical hence nancy's upset at karen revelation yet carson doesn't agree bc hes the "adult" and shes the "child" not realizing she hadnt been one for a long time (hidden staircase perhaps?) whereas ryan better treats her with lack of controlling parental nature bc he is impressed with her competence before he receives that knowledge; "lucy was smarter than me too" acknowledging her intellect negates his ability to "parent" ie control her to leave him solely with caring about her wellbeing in her situations + aftermath - i honestly dont think carson would ever admit that shes smarter than him* bc he thinks shes not "all grown up" yet ("youve kept me on the bench for years"); ryan is more willing to meet her where she's at which is so important for all her good relationships - ace, owen, etc
*carson asks for nancy to figure out "who to trust" in ep 12, finally admitting that she is useful/ie acknowledging that her skills/abilities do help, are necessary, and can in fact save lives --> this is then s2 follow up by working for him (but it takes him that long)
•ryan/nancy/carson venn diagram - using sex to escape trauma
•if not carson vs ryan then what about celia and everett vs patrice (and josh)? at this point in the narrative, do you think ryan's parents would take his side should the knowledge become public (without their involvement), or deny nancy?
•"we were a family" + the disruption of family dinner- kate was really the one holding that family together and her death makes it unsustainable
okay!! that's all folks! i have exhausted my plethora of nancy drew thoughts + knowledge. you will never have to hear from me again!! TYSSM 😘
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realmzenith · 6 years
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elaina ! :)
lays down, mai ily. anyways?? someone pls save elaina she Needs help
What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?fairly long?? but not super long it’d make her anxious. maybe twenty minutes. it’d be a different story if it was a life or death thing tho obv
How easy is it for your character to laugh?difficult. from one to ten w one being v easily she’s like a 7. but for full uninhibited laughter it’s a solid 9. she mostly smiles and when she does laugh it’s at the dumbest things
How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)she’ll lurk on instagram or think which are honestly both bad ideas for her bc instagram makes her depressed bc her social life sux and thinking makes her depressed bc she’s pessimistic and tends to overthink EVERYTHINg. however sometimes she’ll be smart abt it and read a book or look at plant pics or space which will more often than not successfully allow her to relax and get some shut eye
How easy is it to earn their trust?HM not too difficult prbly a 3 if ur nice to her and ur not a complete idiot- ok well. just if ur nice to her bc she literally falls in love w josie an idiot in her storyline
How easy is it to earn their mistrust?moderately difficult she has a hard time accepting that the ppl she trusts are capable of wronging her and usually assumes it was smth she did. she’s kind of an idiot like that so yk :) she’s prbly a 6 on that one? if we’re also accounting for the ppl she moderately trusts. however if we’re only talking abt the ppl she genuinely completely trusts it’s like an 8. she’s not COMPLETELy stupid but still p stupid abt relationships
Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?rules should be followed. she accepts them as a given and that they will be followed as a given. it’ll srsly throw off her game if someone starts blatantly disobeying the law in front of her even if it is just a nominal thing
What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?she’s not a v emotional person? she does feel deeply but hmm i suppose she is fairly nostalgic. certain melodies played on the guitar would prbly be one of the bigger triggers. her mom used to play and she and her dad would sing like dorks but they?? kind of dont do it anymore and she misses it but she isn’t sure how to ask to do it again. it’s the same w disney movies. they don’t watch them as a fam as much as they used to anymore but they still do on occasion! as for enjoying it she doesn’t rlly like nostalgia?? but she lets herself fall into it frequently
What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?she was constantly told to talk to the other kids. she’s never been v social or good w ppl as she prefers her small group of ppl she knows and is comfortable w plus she’s an only child so she’s always been forced to socialize esp in casual settings
Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?not super frequently. she does say damn bc that’s just the classic xstj swear word, her first she remembers v distinctly. it was “bitch” and completely her older cousin’s fault
What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?she lowkey feels like her entire life is a lie? she’s a smart gal and gets good grades easily. she’s close to the top of her class and is considered one of the smart kids. but she herself is convinced she’s painfully mediocre and despite her other talents and unique personality traits she’s like :) im sorry for lying to u all i actually have zero interesting qualities and am a drag but ofc she never voices that bc lbr insecurity? ugly and she doesn’t want to lose the few friends she does have bc she dumped her fears on everyone else. she is, as i said, a Mess
How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?she almost always pretends she understands but if she doesn’t feel like there’ll be negative consequences to asking for clarification and she’s feeling confident she’ll bluntly ask the other person to clear things up for her esp in a business type setting such as school projects, etc. it’s situational but socially speaking? she’ll pretend until she Dies
How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?ask nico to get it or just struggle for ages to try to get it herself
What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?she likes green and black but thinks she looks p drab in most things. in all actuality she prbly does look sharpest in black but yellow makes her look super cute, brings out a softer side of her. dark green is also flattering on her
What animal do they fear most?hm prbly eels esp electric eels. they freak her out for no particular reason. otherwise, she likes most animals and doesn’t mind most bugs
How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?she does usually think before she speaks. on the extreme she’ll turn over a phrase abt ten times in her mind before even considering speaking it aloud but that’s rare and only in high stress situations. despite the fact that she does think before she speaks she’s very blunt abt most things. lay it out like it is and all. embellishing sentences or softening her statements is smth she rarely does as she finds it inefficient 
What makes their stomach turn?reckless behavior she HATES when ppl do stupid risky crap in front of her she finds it very unnecessary and anxiety inducing
Are they easily embarrassed?oh yes absolutely
What embarrasses them?everything. anything. her existence. ppl flirting w her. her parents. being teased. being incompetent. being singled out for anything. lots of things :)
What is their favorite number?she likes the number 60. no reason in particular it’s just a nice number. cue her friend, nico in the back yelling SIXTY???? MORE LIKE SEXY
If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?oh oof dont talk to her about love it throws her for an existential crisis. hm but if srsly asked this she’d prbly say smth like “familial love is smth we’re rarely allowed to choose. platonic is more logical and circumstantial, and romantic is a combination of the two in the sense that it’s ur heart’s choice to begin and ur mind’s to continue.”
Why do they get up in the morning? society dictates that in order for an individual to contribute meaningfully to the world, you must get up by 7 am and do whatever lot’s been handed to you. thus she, as a good functioning member of society, gets up in the mornings and drives to school day in and day out as fate has dictated her duty to be
How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? erratic. she’ll act strangely and become more distant. if it continues for long enough she’ll eventually snap at whoever’s nearest and asking what’s up w her
How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? it makes her sad tbh sldkfjlkj she’s like welp.. this is the lot i’ve been given if i don’t accept it that’s my problem. then she keeps her head up and carries on
Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? she prefers not to talk abt sex. she’d be v confused if someone brought up the topic of sex casually tho she isn’t SUPER squeamish abt discussing it it’s just?? unprofessional so why would u? ofc w her s/o she would be more than willing to discuss it in order to smooth out questions or misunderstandings before yk. actually. doing the sex
What are their thoughts on marriage? marriage to her is one of the pillars of society, and while she respects people who don’t want to get married, for herself she views it a checkbox on her list of things she needs to do before she dies. it’s?? like she sort of has a timeline and marriage is on the list of things that need to happen sometime in her twenties. she believes marriage should be a mutually beneficial union based on love and respect and believes that along w family units it’s a wonderful invention. however, despite all of this she kind of doubts she’ll ever get married bc she’s like who would date me lbr here :) and while simultaneously seeking after marriage she’s resigned herself to becoming an eventual crazy old cat lady
What is their preferred mode of transportation? she prefers bullet trains. efficient, usually comfortable, she doesn’t have to drive- what more could you want? she’s also fond of walking if a place is close by. helps her chill
What causes them to feel dread? the feeling that a relationship is falling apart and the divide between herself and the other person is growing. the little things like not waiting for the other person after class or “forgetting” to mention another thing about their day- the small things that point to a relationship breaking down. if there’s one thing she hates more than unnecessary conflict and having to just end things then and there it’s watching things slowly fall apart. that is extremely dread inducing in her opinion
Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? if u asked her? she’d say she prefers the truth. in reality? she prefers the lie. she internalizes things and oftentimes “unpleasant truths” can weigh her down for ages. frequently enough to note, she’ll allow herself to continue in ignorance rather than accept the reality of the truth which she’ll sort of know she’s doing but just push to the back of her mind in order to avoid the panic that comes with actually confronting the problem. ignorance is bliss and all. nevertheless, in the long run and in hindsight, she prefers the truth as ripping off the bandaid proves easier than pulling out misplaced stitches one by one
Do they usually live up to their own ideals? she doesn’t come close. she has very lofty ideals to which she holds both herself and others around her. she wants to be someone who’s looked up to as strong. she values efficiency, honesty, reliability and genuinely good motives as well as charisma, passion and confidence. she’s doing alright with the first few but the last three are debatable. she’s passionate about v select things and her confidence levels looks like a heartrate monitor
Who do they most regret meeting? herself. she regrets gaining sentience
Who are they the most glad to have met? josie ;) but nico and ale are close seconds
Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? nope what’s a Conversation? what’s a Joke? she doesnt know them :)
Could they be considered lazy? that’s a no. she works extremely hard and nearly always carries through. it’s partially her nature and partially a way for her to “make up” for her perceived lack of talents
How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? extremely difficult but w time she eventually can esp when given the right type of support
How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? that’s. a hard one. she IS technically supportive but that’s only when she recognizes how much the thing means to the other person and she’s honestly rlly bad at reading these kinds of situations, so it’s rare that she actually does. she’ll kinda be like wtf but if she doesn’t recognize the other person is genuinely excited and invested in the thing she’ll do her best to give her own brand of awkward support 
Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?she’ll pursue a romantic interest if enough proof that it’s plausible is given but it’s rare that she gets enough “proof” for this to happen. generally speaking, she kind of pushes her desire for romance down. she’ll worry abt it later or at least until josie shows up eyes emoji
Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? not rlly? she’ll just go thru things multiple times she’s not the most innovative person when it comes to things like this. route memorization is her go to 
What memory do they revisit the most often?;) depends on where in the storyline we’re talking but post story defo the time when she and josie went hiking w some of their other friends and when they reached the summit of the mountain the clouds were beneath the peak n completely coating the sky. it looked like a carpet of clouds, like another world and they shared a bit of a Moment. the little things are what elaina rlly cherishes
How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?difficult she’s a bit of a critical person. she’s also not the most tactful when it comes to emotional intelligence related situations so ppl will likely find out she does see those flaws in them if they stick around long enough
How sensitive are they to their own flaws?not SO much but she does take things to heart. she’s sort of?? accepted her perceived mediocrity and general dullness but she’s in no way ceasing to attempt to change other things abt herself. so she’ll seemingly take criticisms in stride but they’ll stick w her when she’s Overthinking
How do they feel about children? kids are? good? she likes kids. as for having them, she’s considered it some and she thinks she might like to. at the same time, she also thinks she’d make a terrible parent- too harsh, bad w comfort, easily stressed. in all reality, she’d be better than most ppl as one esp after gaining a bit of confidence
How badly do they want to reach their end goal? rn the goal is graduating and she wants that fairly badly but she doesn’t particularly doubt her ability to achieve it. after that, it’s getting a good job which she also doesn’t overtly doubt as a certainty so yes she does want it but it’s not?? SUPEr concerning except when she begins to doubt her abilities and if she’ll ever feel like her life is fulfilling 
If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? she’s lesbian. she’d say it means she’s attracted to women 
QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS
A) Why are you excited about this character?baby. she’s gonna find loveB) What inspired you to create them?love, simon! i wanted to write a cute lesbian high school romance so thus josie and elaina were bornC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?nope!D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?nope again! she used to be full korean but now she’s half korean and half scandinavian! i think she used to be taller too she’s 5′5″ nowE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?there are some aspects of each other that would get on the other’s nerves. like i dont think she’d appreciate the wonky outbursts i sometimes have and i’d get annoyed by her lack of social tact/annoyance at the world even tho i lowkey share those traits but otherwise i think we’d get along p well! i think i’d find her cute and i think she’d like my perceived confidence. we share a similar rationality as wellF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?empathy she’s a big mood tbh and also i want her to be happy G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?her lack of emotional intelligence. while i like blunt and logic oriented ppl it’d get slightly frustrating after a while to be around someone who’s a lil oblivious to social/emotional cues even if that’s a moodH) What trait do you admire most?her humble diligence. i have to complain twice as much as her to get half the things she gets done doneI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?i think she’d ALSO do great in a sci fi universe. ha maybe i need to give these kids a sci fi au verseJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly no!
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onlyjihoons · 7 years
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policeman!jihoon pt.2
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a/n; special thanks to bff jupiter @chaeyolks for the pretty pretty moodboard once again,, also! this is a collab w @alliwannado-w1, her installment for woojin is coming up this weekend so do look forward to it^^
policeman!jihoon pt.1//policeman!woojin
warning: slight alcohol mention+slight violence, however characters are written when they are of adult age
“you’re illegal, why are you even a police officer?”
“you’re going to do undercover duty with y/n.”
“again?!”
“unless you want me to–”
“yes sir”
so here he was, groaning at his impeccable luck
he needed to get back at daniel for making him buy that drink LOL
“hello, im inspector park jihoon, please take care of me”
you looked up, being greeted by jihoon, in a light blue button down and ripped jeans
with that lanyard that has his name and picture??
usually staff id pics look like mugshots
but hey his pic deadass looks like a shot of those models for some fashion show
“hello, i’m sergeant y/l/n,” you smiled, sticking out your hand, “i hope we will work well together.”
at that moment jihoon fell for your brown eyes
and dimples when you smile
whatever he said about having zero interest in girls was thrown into the gutter
jihoon was tasked to shadow you for your duties for a month
he was pretty sure he was gonna get sacked for falling for his superior LOL
anyways
your first day of working with jihoon was nothing big, just typing out some reports
it was a little weird because an inspector from the violent crimes department in a street crimes(idk what its called pls forgive me) department? typing out reports of a lost puppy??
anyhow your female colleagues from the other departments will ever more often drop by your desk just to see jihoon
it was getting annoying how theyre actually paying more attention to jihoon
so you asked minhyun to dispatch you for more undercover duties LOL
“i thought you loved writing reports”
“not until the female sergeants from other departments come to my desk to see inspector park??”
“are you jealous?”
ngl you were but you arent gonna let it show
especially in front of minhyun
he would f l i p
“try having 3 colleagues flocking to your table every 2 hours to see your co-worker instead of talking to you, and also distracting you from doing work.”
“fine”
undercover was boring, you would normally drag sergeant!baejin along with you
but this time he wanted to stay in the office because he doesnt want to be the “third wheel”
you and jihoon would go to the same club everyday to do undercover duties
and the both of you manage to bust some sleazy dudes
since the whole thing was already under control the both of you soon don’t need to go to the club
and actually do night patrols
it was fun, because jihoon would entertain you by pulling funny faces and treat you to ice cream
contrary to your expectations, jihoon was actually quite nice to be around with
but then something in your mind went off about him
 you remembered the fuckboy senior that played with girls’ hearts in high school
it was jihoon
you were well aware that you were a position above him despite the 2 year age gap
but you couldn’t let yourself fall for someone who breaks hearts
so you decided to build a invisible wall of friendship to prevent yourself from falling for him
i mean how couldn’t you,, he was good looking, good at his work, and had a faint protective vibe which you liked
like whenever you were feeling only a little chilly at the cool breeze jihoon would not hesitate to drape his jacket over you
and also let you walk on the inside of the pavement
besides, minhyun would fall off his chair at the thought of his sister dating someone from the violent crimes department
but that didn’t stop you from having fun
the both of you would sit at swings and play at the slides
there was once jihoon was stuck at one of the slides and you had to help him LOL
but ended up pulling out one of his Stan Smiths and nearly called the fire brigade
day by day, the both of you got closer
and you told jihoon not to call you “sergeant hwang” bc that sounds rlly formal
one day the both of you were just talking about random stuff and you mentioned that you wanted to pick up martial arts
“i can teach you if you want!^^”
“really? what martial arts do you do?”
“i have a six-don black belt in taekwondo, i do teach little kids in my spare time as well”
so here you are, standing at the back of jihoon’s taekwondo class
you felt very over-aged learning taekwondo with a bunch of white-belt kids
but they were really good, and jihoon told the kids you were his assistant for the time being
yeah, assistant with a white belt
and just saying, jihoon looked rlly rlly hot in that taekwondo uniform
with slightly sweaty bangs and all
when he just stands aside for the kids to practice and adjusts his belt
bOI
ok moving on
you learnt some basic moves and jihoon barely needed to coach you to get them right
so all those years of fighting with minhyun was worthwhile
jihoon would shift you up to a yellow belt in two weeks because you were that good
so one day your eyes obviously wasn’t doing you good
you kept messing up the sequence throughout the lesson, maybe your condition wasn’t good
jihoon could see it and asked you to rest for a while
after the lesson ended, you took your street clothes and accidentally walked into the men’s changing room
and you walked into a topless jihoon
luckily, he was the only one inside
you could see his toned abs, and defined arms
not to mention that killer jawline
and in taekwondo pants????
jihoon noticed you staring slightly and then fumbled to find his taekwondo robe
and you noticed you were in the wrong changing room
“oh shit im so sorry i--i”
just as you were about to get out of the changing room jihoon blocked the door
without his robe
“y/n, did you enter the wrong changing room to see,,,”
“see?”
he pointed to his abs, “this?”
you could only laugh, “i would never do that, i can easily see them on the internet”
he raised his eyebrows, “so you watch porn?”
“no??” you rolled your eyes, offended, “do you think i’m that kind of person, inspector park?”
“n-no--”
“i’m sorry i’m not like those girls you played with back in high school, i’m not after your body--”
“you’re driving me crazy, y/n”
“what?”
“your eyes, your nose, your lips, drive me crazy.” jihoon stared right into your eyes, making you blush
“hey inspector park--”
“why don’t you call me ‘jihoon oppa’ anymore? is our relationship strictly work-related now?”
“i just...” you sighed how something small could escalate to something big like this, “i like you, jihoon-oppa”
you slightly cringed but you continued, 
“but we cant do this. minhyun will get mad, and there goes my job.”
“b-but--”
“sorry, inspector park, i’d have to go.”
you pushed jihoon aside weakly, then going out and into the ladies’ changing room
you felt hot tears trickling down your face, in reality, you just didn’t want your heart to be broken
the next day, you and jihoon went to work like a normal day
just, no patrolling and writing of reports the whole day
the office could sense a tension between the both of you, even your female colleagues stopped coming over
“hey y/n,” baejin stopped by your table and handed over a file, “you gotta go undercover again for that club, the perverts are striking again.”
“again?” you sighed, “okay i’ll go.”
“do you need me to go with you?” baejin leaned against your desk, “ you seem, off, today”
“i-”
“i will go with her, sergeant bae.” jihoon spoke, “it’s my last day here anyway.”
so fast, a month has passed, you thought.
“thanks inspector park. i’ll get going then.”
you skipped dinner, all you did was to write reports continuously throughout the day
until jihoon slammed your laptop shut, and stared straight into your eyes
“we need to go now, sergeant hwang.” his lips stretched into a straight line.
you unwillingly got up from your seat, as you shrugged on your coat and headed out to the carpark to wait for jihoon
the car ride was quiet, with you staring out of the window, not talking to jihoon
though it was jihoon’s last day, and you were sorry he had to spend his last day like that
you had to stop yourself 
though the club was playing upbeat music, all you could do was to stare into blank space
just then, some sleazy dude came up to you
“can i buy this pretty lady a drink?” he winked
“no thanks, im with someone else--”
“ey, that someone else can wait.”
“i really do have someone--”
“i said i will get you a drink alright?!” the man’s rogueish smile appeared, grabbing your wrist, “i know you’re here to do undercover duties, sergeant hwang--”
just then, a fist was sent flying to the man’s cheek, as he stumbled backwards
you saw an angry jihoon, his face was red with anger
“if you ever touch sergeant hwang again, you’ll end up in the hospital.” jihoon growled.
“wow, sergeant, i didn’t know you were into flowery pretty boys like--”
jihoon sent another punch across the man’s face, making him fall to the ground
you had to physically stop jihoon from hitting that sleazy dude, or it would’ve turned into a full fight
“jihoon-oppa,” you held his arm, which weakened at your touch, “let’s stop, minhyun wouldn’t be happy if he saw this.”
jihoon scoffed, putting the dude in handcuffs
“you’re under arrest for sexual harrassment, you have a right to remain silent, unless with witness that will support your innocence.”
after that dude was thrown into jail, jihoon immediately hugged you
“are you okay?” he then took a step back to analyse your frame, “he didn’t hurt you, right? i was so--”
you then cut jihoon off with a kiss, shutting him up effectively.
jihoon kissed you back with more assertion, to make up for the time he didn’t get to talk to you throughout the day
“what was that, y/n?” jihoon smiled, ruffling your hair
“don’t tell minhyun about this”
boyfriend!jihoon in the police station is super sweet, leaving you a sandwich for breakfast, then dragging you out for lunch
minhyun soon found out about it, “i knew the both of you had something going on”
and jihoon wasn’t the asshole you expected him to be
he only had eyes for you, and it was really endearing
the both of you would go on night walks, and then sitting on the swing set, talking about random things
overall, the sweetest crime-busting couple in Gangnam Police Station
“I don’t know how you became a police officer, your looks are illegal, you’re my illegirl”
lowkey stole that from dimple by bts sorry im lame i hope you guys enjoyed this as much as i liked writing this,,my request box is always open, so do send in requests!
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thirdmagic · 7 years
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why do you (seem to) dislike ufotable's UBW anime epilogue so much? (not asking you to justify having you own opinion, just genuinely curious)
(My apologies that this took so long to answer!) 
Short answer? Because it’s a goddamned mess.
I mean: okay, it’s a mess with a few individual cute/good moments that I liked, and the ending still made me super super emotional, but it’s still a goddamn mess not only as a conclusion to UBW the anime in general, but also manages to completely muck up the conclusion to the one thing and only thing that the UBW anime managed to do perfectly (Shirou’s arc and the Archer-Shirou reveal/relationship) and that’s just an all new low.
Which baffles me all the more because the epilogue script (that I understand was written by Nasu) was perfectly fine??? It made sense and while there are a few awkward scene/transition choices and also a bit of fanservice (I’m glad that they cut out the bit with her twintails, that was for the better– really, Nasu? Really?), but it made so much more sense and worked so much better and was just a million times better in general. And then they pulled in a whole bunch of completely nonsensical changes for absolutely no reason?
…Like, it’s been forever since I watched it and I don’t remember much of it and the script, but I remember, for example, how Luvia’s introduction in the show was just completely weird and out of nowhere and basically made her out to be a girl w a crush on Shirou whose only relationship with Rin is catfighting when it’s like…. the exact opposite? It actually made sense in the script for us to be introduced through her through sparring with Rin in self-defense class first and then giving us a glimpse of their relationship/rivalry, and then establishing she’s also a mutual friend to both Rin and Shirou. And like come on you’re giving us a final episode that needs to be emotional and conclude everything that’s been going on and you throw in some random last minute fanservice out of completely nowhere that serves absolutely no purpose at all? I mean, come on, man, that’s just beyond cheap.
Though speaking of the original script, the mini plot with Shirou and the invitation from the Association is also just a big pile of ????? Because I mean… it’s a major, major plot point and an important element of worldbuilding that just gets thrown aside and makes no sense. It’s been established firmly in the epilogue that a) The Mage’s Association are Assholes and Rin does not want Shirou getting involved with them too deeply bc he is not a magus and she doesn’t want him getting messed up in the shitty messy world of Magi and b) They have to hide that he has a Reality Marble because the moment they find out they’re going to either kill him and/or kidnap him to experiment on him because of how rare it is. Why in the world is getting an offer from them presented as a good opportunity. It sure as hell isn’t. The last thing Rin should be doing is encouraging him to go there, dude. 
Never mind that it’s also a major point that Shirou’s magic only lies in his own very specific set of skills and as a magus in general he’s extremely below average and there’s like no reason for them to be interested in him in the first place becaues his only skill is a form of magic that’s seen as mostly useless and he lacks any real skill in any other areas. Like I really question Nasu himself for that since that’s from him in the original script, but I remember the rest being actually perfectly good and they even messed up most of those parts.
Also the pacing and timing was all out of place… what in the world is the point of putting the scene in school where Rin asks him if he wants to go with her to London after we’ve already been shown he did go. Dude. There’s no tension there no meaning no question no real investment in the answer.
But the biggest muckup is that the original script firmly establishes that Shirou’s goal isn’t about following in Archer’s footsteps. It’s surpassing him. It’s that by understanding where his current road leads fully and seeing it for himself, and going into it but with full awareness and understanding is going to lead him somewhere completely different– he’s not reaching for where Archer is, he’s reaching beyond, and in the script this is discussed and spelled out consistently up unitl to the point where Nasu hammered it very explicitly that this is what he wants to establish with the final scene and the final shot of Shirou. That he aimed to surpass him and succeeded. And what we get in the anime for that final scene is like………………….. nothing. Like barely a few seconds with absolutely none of the original meaning behind it. I mean, yeah, it still made me emotional because they did carry across that he’s content and happy with his path and managed to be happy with his life in the end so it’s fine enough on it’s own, but Jesus was the original take on it in the script a million times better.
Like it was so halfassed, to the point where Nasu felt the need to post the original script version of the scene on his blog because that’s how badly they screwed it up. And liike…. I don’t get why when Nasu spelled it out in the script in the most explicit terms possible??? Like ufotable generally has a way of screwing up and ignoring and changing the most weird things for no good reason but that really takes the cake.
What I did like: the scene where Shirou visits Arthur’s graveyard and speaks to Saber seriously tugged at my heartstrings, Shirou and Rin’s New Looks (boyfriend cardigan!!! rin’s hairstyle!!!! they were looking SO GOOD), and many of Shirou and Rin’s interactions in it were very charming and cute. (The scene where he takes care of her after Luvia beats her up!!! Precious.) They gave me a sense of mellowness and maturity, that they’re older and calmer but still very distinctly them, and their final scene together left me with a very warm hopeful feeling about their future lives together. I liked that Luvia appeared at least too even it was waaay better done in the script.
Otherwise, though. It’s just a mess.
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Submission from Pops
#pops again, hey. I feel bad for not being able to follow all your advice, I’m sorry. I can’t find the courage to come out to my mum, although my dad said if I ever realized I was lgbta+ (I’m not out to him) he’d still love and support me. Mum’s always been more religious, though. I don’t feel worthy of all the support and love I get from friends, or from fellow lgbtqa+ because every now and then I catch myself thinking non hetero men are ‘strange’, like I can’t seem to wrap my head around the concept? I think it’s because I’m a bit wary and anxious of men in general, even though I’m supposed to be FtM (I can’t even think about that properly without spacing out). I’m not sure how to word it, sorry. I feel so gross about it though, I’m trying to hard to be a good person and I hate that I still think this, it’s so disgusting. I’m always on mobile so I cam’t access the group chat, and I’m stuck in the waiting list for therapy so I haven’t got anyone to talk me through this either.
I’m constantly forgetting what I’m doing in the middle of doing them, or stuff I have to do because I feel like I’m just. Living in a haze, I can’t think straight, I’m stuttering and tripping/mixing my words up and I find it really difficult to breath because I get so anxious socially.
My brain keeps telling me I’ve got x y z disorder, which I know self diagnosing isn’t great and it’s abliest against those who suffer from disorders but I can’t help but start obsessing over it in case I do have w/e disorder. I’m terrified. I get so anxious and dissociative if someone mentions religion, I just shut down and internally freak out. I know I should be trying to work out my beliefs and everything but all I can do is spend most of my time daydreaming about a life where my family are regular Christians who are supportive of lgbta+ rights. It’s so much easier to pretend that’s how my life is. I just feel like such a failure, I can’t help myself, I can barely even remember what I done 10 minutes ago I’m so dissociative, I’m digging myself into a big hole and I just can’t bring myself to face my problems. I’m so sorry, your advice was fine, it’s just me who can’t do anything.
How can I quit having such foul thoughts, and being so dissociative all the time? I’ve almost been knocked down by cars bc I’m so zoned out. I find it really hard to open up and to trust people, so I don’t want to go to the doctor’s again bc my parents will get concerned and I always end up talking about another problem and joking around.
Again, I’m really sorry, thank you for all the advice though and I hope all of you have an amazing month.
Hey Pops!
We don't always know exactly what your situation is, so if you're not in a position to follow our advice, don't feel too bad about it! Coming out is incredibly hard, especially if you don't know how your parents are going to react. Religion can also be a scary thing, as people who are very religious can be among some of the least understanding people out there. However, if it makes you feel better,  I have come out as non-binary to some very religious people and they've been nothing but supportive and loving. I know that isn't the case for everybody, but I want you to know that those people are out there and they exist.
I think I understand where you're coming from in not feeling worthy of support. Especially if you have thoughts about other queer men. One thing that can be helpful is to see if those thoughts are coming from you, or if they are leftover from the way you've been raised. Sometimes we can have things called intrusive thoughts where a thought will enter our minds that we don't agree with, but that we can't get away from regardless. If you can, try to figure out if that is where that is coming from. You don't have to be attached to your thoughts, especially if they are making you feel bad about yourself and about how you are feeling. I know that's a practice that is probably foreign to you, but if you can work on not getting attached to your thoughts, I think that will help you a lot.
Forgetting things and having a hard time with memory is common with dissociation. I know that it can really mess with your life and with what's going on, but it makes sense from what you've described.
It sounds like you're going through a lot of anxiety. From what I know, it would make sense that you're worried about how your parents will feel about your gender identity. They can make or break your life, and since you don't know how they'll react, you're just living in this fear of being found out. A lot of LGBTQIA+ people have had bad experiences with religious people, so a lot of queer people are automatically wary of religious people. I know that your anxiety makes it hard to do this, but religion is a touchy topic for a lot of people, and most understand that people don't want to talk about it.
I would strongly recommend looking into meditation, breathing and grounding practices. It's a really great way of dealing with your anxiety and bringing it down in a general sense.
We really don't recommend self diagnosing, because it can be dangerous. Different disorders have different ways of being treated, and what works for some people might not work for other people. Therapists spend a lot of time learning about how to diagnose people, so they really are the best equipped for telling you what you are going through. We have a post on self diagnosis that you can look at to see how we feel about it. 
However, diagnoses are there so that you can have an idea of what sort of treatment you should pursue. If you can apply some self treatment in a safe way, that could be helpful to you.
If you have a hard time with dissociating, you should try some grounding techniques. I know that won't address the problem at large, but it can help you in the moment and help you stay safe.
Also as far as therapy goes, there are several online therapy companies who can help you. If you can google them and look into them, I think that could help you out a lot. That severity of dissociation is something you're going to need professional help with.
Good luck, and I hope that you can get this figured out!
“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.”
~Mel
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realmzenith · 6 years
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answer All the questions for your newest oc
DEAD U HAD TO ASK FOR NEWEST DIDN’T YOU. welp in that case have ya boi eneko
What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?he’s a patient dude! eneko can likely sit still doing nothing for as long as his physiology will allow aka until he needs to go to the bathroom or smth. he does well w low activity as he’s an introspective person
How easy is it for your character to laugh?FAIrly easy?? on a level of one to ten w one being laughs at anything that moves or doesn’t move i’d say he’s a.. 6. ok so not that easily like he IS fairly taciturn but he will smile and laugh at a good joke esp if he’s comfy around the person making it
How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)by crying- no jk he doesn’t… cry… emotions? what are those??? (thats a lie he’s an emotional mess) he will plan for the next day, strategizing and such but that’s honestly rlly bad for him. he stresses easily. on nights when he’s got a clearer head he’ll hum softly or read if he’s not feeling too guilty abt burning off candles. he does like night walks they always clear his mind
How easy is it to earn their trust?oh oof that’s a tricky one. not that easy but at the same time- OKAy yeah just not that easily from one being the easiest to ten being the hardest he’s likely a 8
How easy is it to earn their mistrust?VERY hard. once you’ve gained his trust he will be LOYAL af to u eneko is quiet n not the most expressive but he will absolutely go down in flames for someone he’s deemed trustworthy. a solid 9. 
Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?laws are flexible defo. he PREFERS structure but if morality trumps laws he will break them. it also helps that he’s lowkey part of a rebellion so technically his existence in the present is breaking the law
What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?god save us all. he’s a nostalgic dude so uh, oh damn i dont have backstory for him yet i made him last night rainy stop bullying me but ykw we’re doing this. flowers defo. queen anne’s lace n bluebells esp? bring back memories n also pumpkin stew. mixed memories w that one. queen anne’s lace mean sanctuary n bluebells mean gratitude which is LOWKEY ironic considering they spawn memories of burning along w memories of his older sisters so yes?? he does like remembering his sisters but no not in that context. the stew is a weird reminder of his first love n that’s. also complicated 
What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?talk more and talk better. he’s got a bit of habit of being short abt things and the middle sister of the fam was ALWAYS getting on his case abt no u can’t word it like that but the eldest was and is a terrible influence n absolutely encouraged it bc she found it hilarious. it’s good they love each other i swear
Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?yes he’s part of a rebellion and a soldier what more do u eXPECt and no he doesn’t remember his first swear word. he also doesn’t curse that much dont get me wrong. he has to be comfy around u
What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?gosh uh. eneko is still v underdeveloped so i .. WELL I CANNOt tell u in the present it’s prbly smth angsty involving his sisters or his lovER but the answer to does it haunt him? yes absolutely he must Suffer :)
How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?it depends on the situation’s levity. if it’s smth important he will absolutely bluntly ask for clarification if it’s smth casual he’ll just nod and pretend like he knows what ur talkin abt bc social anxiety is a b
How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?Suffer in Silence
What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?he doesn’t rlly think abt this. he likes green tho but he wears a lot of black (that’s partially required by his associations and partially bc idk what other colors exist thanks @ god) he looks best in hmmm red
What animal do they fear most?himSELF 
How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?he’s usually fairly forthright so he sounds like he’s saying whatever comes to mind but the reality is he says abt 1% of what he’s thinking and he won’t say things that are quite obviously rude. who knows tbh maybe he gains secret enjoyment from watching ppl squirm under his bluntness eyes emoji
What makes their stomach turn?torture n he hates the sight of bones. blood he can stand but bones? no thanks. unfort in the business they’re in he comes across both of those more than he’d like. he also hates working in the theoretical. it’s unnerving but he’s fine if someone he trusts is wading thru the abstract for him aka thank u @ kent for being the resident intuitive 
Are they easily embarrassed?nah not particularly 
What embarrasses them?if u slap his BUTT in public jkjk i mean that would embarrass him if u caught him by surprise but hmmm he doesn’t like attention if u draw attention to him he’ll freak a lil that would fluster him also excessive praise esp if it’s expressed publicly. he squirms beneath the spotlight
What is their favorite number?19. day of the month he last saw his sisters smiling
If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?he’d prbly say smth deep which i cannot truly replicate but prbly smth like. “familial love is steady. it’s the mountain beneath which u were born. it’s the protection n the stability n the impossible sheer volume of it that can’t quite be comprehended. platonic love is like cords linking u to them. it’s the promise, the assurance of i will pull u up if u fall and if i can’t ill fall w u. it’s a tug o war and an anchor. romantic love is a stallion. it’s the passion and the chance but if u know how to tame it it serves to make u a better man than u could ever become on ur own. it’s the teamwork and the flames”
Why do they get up in the morning? to execute justice and to experience each new precious day he’s been gifted
How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? it’s ugly when jealousy rears its head in him. he doesn’t SAY anything but his actions become more erratic and he has a harder time focusing. it’s likely he’ll become more impulsive. he’s not DANGEROUs per se but it’s not a situation u want him in
How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? envy he’s better about. mostly bc unlike w jealousy he doesn’t already have the thing. it’s smth he’ll just push down and soldier thru like he does w most uncomfy things in his life
Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? oh MY GOD DONT TALK ABT SEX that’s SCANDALOUS- the answer is no he finds it unprofessional in his line of work but he would be comfortable discussing it w his s/o
What are their thoughts on marriage? good. he approves. however, for himself he finds the prospect unlikely considering the high risk nature of what he’s involved himself w. he expects to die before 35 in all seriousness
What is their preferred mode of transportation? in the sweet embrace of death horseback
What causes them to feel dread? the knowledge that everything’s falling apart. that fate and circumstance are slowly but surely chipping away at the very foundation of what u live for and there’s absolutely nothing u can do to stop it. also freaking the appearance of the antagonist or his minions
Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? in theory? no. in practice? he’s actually p sensitive that’s a difficult one to answer. it would greatly depend on the circumstance but in the long run he prefers the truth
Do they usually live up to their own ideals? yes but in his own eyes, no. he holds himself to extremely high standards and is very self critical. also he has rlly unachievable ideals he’s a lil bit idealistic beneath the guise of realism
Who do they most regret meeting? ohohOHO jk i have no idea not there yet in the story but prbly the antagonist he’s a b
Who are they the most glad to have met? funnily enough? he could almost say the antagonist. he’s the reason why eneko’s working as hard as he is for what he is. without the introduction of the antagonist he would’ve been oblivious to the terrible injustice around him and likely ended up a victim by some obscure mindless death order. however the person he truly admires is the rebel member who took him under her wing however she’s still in the works so i can’t give u much on her
Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? i don’t think so, no
Could they be considered lazy? NOPE not in any sense of the word. eneko works extremely hard. he’s v dedicated n dutiful
How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? oh, very hard. he’s naturally altruistic so he tends to take failures to heart and internalize them and considering the dangerous line of work he’s in he oftens has guilt building up inside him. he’ll likely carry it w him for the rest of his life once he’s decided to be guilty abt smth. if someone doesn’t help him w it it can break him down in ugly ways
How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? yes!! he’s a pure son. you’ll definitely get a smile out of him if smth good has happened to u. he’s very supportive of his friends. he would die for his friends and likely all of u i just want u all to know this 
Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?neither. he finds seeking romance irresponsible w his lifestyle. as i previously stated he expects to die young
Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? he has fairly good memory esp w faces! but otherwise? i would say he learns best by touch. he’s a tactile person and also fairly auditory. music defo helps him remember things
What memory do they revisit the most often? prbly the day he separated from his sisters. it’s not a particularly good memory but it’s seared in his mind
How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? he doesn’t ignore ppl’s flaws per se? he’s p perceptive so it’s difficult for him to just turn a blind eye at least within his own mind but eneko is v tolerant of ppl and accepting. even if he dislikes u it’s doubtful you’ll know he’s fairly good at keeping up the same respect for most everyone he comes in contact w. but yeah? he knows what flaws are there but he will simply accept ppl bc he knows everyone, including himself, esp himself, has many flaws
How sensitive are they to their own flaws?oh oof yeah he’s?? a p sensitive guy so while he recognizes his own faults jabs to his weak spots will hurt him and he’ll prbly sit on the accusation or callout for days esp if someone accuses him of being selfish or immoral or not having done enough for the ppl he cares abt (smth along those lines) he’d absolutely hate that. but if u tell him he’s blunt he’s going to be like im well aware of that
How do they feel about children? he’s SUCH A DAD he loves kids and he’s rlly good w them they love him bc he’s SOFT ok but he doesn’t plan on having them himself even tho he’d like to for the exact same reasons he isn’t pursuing romance/marriage
How badly do they want to reach their end goal? enough that he’d die to reach it
If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?eneko is either demi or grasexual w pan preferences. he’s also panromantic. if someone asked for explanation he’d be like “i’m attracted to people of all genders” and just leave it at that unless ofc they were like RLLY curious or smth but he doesn’t rlly consider himself demi or pan or anything he just knows he isn’t straight LOL
QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS
A) Why are you excited about this character?…strong silent type. that’s all i have to sayB) What inspired you to create them?i’ve taken some inspiration from other characters from shows, etc. i’ve written so he’s a bit of a love child of the best of my musesC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?im still figuring it out so that’s a probable yesD) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?he’s been edited a bit there were a few reincarnations of him like at first he had straight black hair in an undercut style but now it’s WAVY and dark brown and he also got darker. id say he’s like latino w a lil african blood this is esp amusing considering i literally created him last nightE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?i think we’d get along alright if we could get past the initial awkwardness bc we’re both kind of crap at interpersonal relationships actually he isn’t that bad it’s mostly me and i THINK he might find me slightly abrasive n energetic (even tho im PLOT TWIST low energy compared to most extroverts) but he’s tolerant it wouldn’t be too badF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?love…. i love my soft boi i usually hate my ocs aka i would slap them if given the chance but eneko? deserves happinessG) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?he is not real in general and non existent in actual writing as of the present. the latter tragedy i will soon solve. in all seriousness it’s prbly his bluntness it has the tendency to give me second hand embarrassmentH) What trait do you admire most?his tolerance and patience i have none loLI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?for now, yes! i dont have a solid grasp of him so until then he’ll stay where he was BIRTHEDJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly! the entire story he’s in is still in the works so everything’s rlly flexible
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