#and it be more of a Jess realizing she wants something else from a relationship

[iamgonnagetyouback]

insecure Jess Mariano trying to rub his relationship with fem!reader in every guys face every chance he gets because he wants to prove that he’s the one for her and doesn’t want her to think there’s a better guy out there for her . She notices his behavior and later reassures him that he’s enough and that he’s the only one for her (+ her saying I love you for the first time 🤭)

𝟷𝚔 || 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒

♡ ︎ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Jess is insecure about you leaving him for someone better.

♡ ︎ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: Insecure Jess

♡ ︎ꜱʜɪᴘ: Jess Mariano x Reader

Jess’s hand tightens around yours, his thumb brushing across your knuckles, but there’s tension in the way his fingers grip yours. You glance up at him, catching the way his eyes are fixed across the courtyard, narrowed with barely concealed irritation.

You follow his gaze and sigh softly when you see the source of his mood: Tristan. He’s lounging on one of the benches, smirking in your direction as if he’s waiting for you to acknowledge him. Jess notices it every time, and lately, it's been getting under his skin more than usual.

Jess doesn’t waste any time. “Hey, babe,” he says, louder than necessary as he pulls you closer to his side. “You cold? I’ve got your jacket in my bag. Want me to grab it?”

You raise a brow at him. “I’m fine, Jess.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want my girl catching a cold.” He practically spits out the last two words, glaring pointedly at Tristan, who’s pretending not to notice, though you see the twitch of a smirk playing on his lips.

You stifle a sigh, feeling the familiar heat of frustration rising in your chest. This isn’t the first time Jess has done this, and you’ve started to notice a pattern: every time a guy so much as glances your way, Jess is quick to claim you like you might slip through his fingers at any moment.

You tug gently at his hand, pulling him away from the courtyard and out of Tristan’s line of sight. He follows, but the stiffness in his shoulders doesn’t ease up. You walk in silence for a few moments, waiting for him to speak, but when he doesn’t, you stop and turn to face him.

“Jess, what’s going on?”

He shifts, running a hand through his hair, avoiding your eyes. “Nothing,” he mutters, but you can see the tightness in his jaw, the way his foot taps impatiently on the pavement.

“Don’t ‘nothing’ me,” you say softly. “You’ve been acting like this every time we’re around other guys. Like you’re trying to prove something.”

He huffs, looking anywhere but at you. “What do you want me to say? That I don’t like the way they look at you? That I know every guy in this place would line up for a shot if you weren’t with me?”

You blink, taken aback by the frustration lacing his voice. “Jess…”

“Look, I get it, okay?” he cuts in, voice rougher now. “I’m not like them. I’m not some rich kid from Chilton or some golden boy with a perfect future. I’m the guy everyone warns you to stay away from. So, yeah, maybe I’m insecure. Maybe I’m scared you’ll wake up one day and realize you could do better.”

His words hit you hard, and your heart clenches at the vulnerability he’s showing, even if he’s trying to hide it behind his usual tough exterior. You take a step closer, placing a hand on his chest.

“Jess,” you say softly, waiting until he finally meets your gaze. His brown eyes are clouded with doubt, and you can feel the weight of all the things he doesn’t say pressing between you.

“I don’t want anyone else,” you say firmly, holding his gaze. “I want you. Not Tristan. Not anyone else. Just you.”

He doesn’t say anything, his lips pressing into a thin line like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“And if you think for one second that there’s a ‘better’ guy out there for me, you’re wrong. You’re it, Jess. You’re enough. More than enough.”

You reach up, cupping his face in your hands, brushing your thumbs over his cheekbones. “I love you, Jess. No one else. You.”

His breath hitches, eyes widening as your words sink in. For a moment, he just stares at you, like he’s not sure he heard you right. Then, before you can say anything else, he pulls you into his arms, holding you so tightly it feels like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go.

“You… you love me?” he murmurs, voice uncharacteristically soft against your hair.

You smile into his chest, squeezing him just as tightly. “Yes, I love you. How many times do I have to say it?”

He pulls back just enough to look at you, and the vulnerability in his eyes is replaced by something softer—relief, maybe, and something else that looks like wonder.

“I love you too,” he whispers, his voice almost reverent, like he can’t quite believe it. Then he kisses you, slow and tender, like he’s pouring all the things he’s too scared to say into that one moment.

When you finally pull away, his forehead rests against yours, and for the first time all day, he seems relaxed. “Sorry for being a jealous idiot.”

You chuckle, brushing a strand of hair from his face. “It’s okay. Just… try to remember that you don’t have to prove anything. I’m not going anywhere.”

He smirks, though there’s still a softness in his eyes. “Good. Because I’m not letting you go.”

taglist: @anawritez-posts

[howblunt]

The only reason they made Paul and Jess not work out was because they hate me

[drefear]

‘Nasty’ By Russ

Summary: Miguel finds something out about you through your recent music choices.

TW: praise, jealousy, smut, praise p in v fantasy, masturbation

You and Miguel started dating fairly recently, and he was so happy about it. He told Jess by accident while discussing you beating up an anomaly, and he just laughed and said ‘I knew it.’

His heart explodes when you’re around and can’t help but see stars.

You’re sitting with Jess and Gwen when he is about to ask you about a report you filed when he hears a conversation he was not prepared for.

“I never even knew he existed.” Gwen said to you, making you laugh.

“Oh, she loves him. It’s almost obsessive.” Jess emphasizes and you blush, rolling your eyes.

“I just- I like- it’s like-“ you stutter and Gwen nods.

“I get it, he’s kinda hot and he’s obviously got some skills, so imagining what he could actually do in bed is totally fair.” That was it, Jess’s words made Miguel’s blood boil. Who else were you trying to sleep with?

His eyes perked up as he walked away and passed you to his office area. You two weren’t in a committed relationship, he had no claim over who you thought about or saw when you weren’t with him, yet it made his blood boil and tension appear between his shoulder blades. He’d long forgotten about the question he was going to ask you about as he summoned you to where he was.

You two were mature adults, you could discuss your feelings without being childish and assuming the worst. Plus, Miguel technically already knew the answer to the question, or so he thought.

You walked up with a bounce before seeing the stress between his eyebrows and frowning gently, something he disliked on that beautiful face of yours. “What’s wrong?” You spoke softly and placed a hand on his arm.

“I need to ask you something and I don’t want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable, but I just need to know the truth.” He prefaced and you felt a knot of anxiety form in your gut. “Are you seeing anyone else?” He searched his eyes over your features and found nothing to give away your thoughts until a bright smile formed on your lips and you couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “This isn’t funny.” He huffed like a petulant child, which made you giggle more.

“Miguel O’Hara, are you jealous?” You teased and poked his bicep, making his nose twitch in self awareness which turned into embarrassment. “No, I’m not seeing anyone else. Who could compare to you?” You smiled wider and slid your hand up his arm to his shoulder, quickly wrapping your arms around his neck. His hand fell to your hip and he sighed happily at your touch, but confusion was still evident in his expression. He hummed and you smirked, “Are you? Because if so, I’ll fight her for ya.” You teased and he let out an exasperated chuckle.

“No, not at all. I’m all yours, now dame un besita.” He demanded and you obliged, giving him a soft and sensual kiss.

Letting go of him, you walked towards the door, “How about we hang out tonight? Stay in and order tacos?” You mused and he nodded, sitting back and sighing. You still felt like something was wrong, but you’d discuss that later when you two were alone and could focus without the hovering threat of work surrounding you.

Once you were gone, Miguel instructed Lyla to dig into you and find any other man you could be seeing. Once your glow faded from his presence, the idea hit him hard like a punch to the chest. You’d just lied to him, to his face, and with a smile.

Never once while dating you had he gotten the impression that you were a liar. Actually, he’d found that sometimes you were too honest, so this was more than shocking to him.

He was so focused on some of the videos Lyla had been finding that he didn’t even hear Jess approach from behind him and start asking questions.

“Earth to O’Hara!” Her hand waved in front of his hand and he snapped his eyes to her, relaxing once he realized who it was. “What’s got you so zoned out?” She peaked over his shoulders to see the videos of you being flirted with in a coffee shop, then sighing in disappointment. “Stalking? Really?”

“She lied to me.” He deadpanned and swiped to another video, frustration setting on his lips.

“About what?” Jess inquired in surprise and he glared at the pregnant woman to his side.

“You already know, don’t play dumb.” He hissed, then gained a cold glare from Jessica, “I heard you talking with her and Gwen about another guy in the cafeteria earlier.”

“Another guy?” Jess gapped and then doubled over, laughing so hard she felt tears forming. “You are so stupid sometimes!” She choked out.

“Que?” He flashed an angry expression, bewildered at her name calling.

“That wasn’t about a guy she met, it was about some singer she was listening to. He released a song in her universe and she’s all hot from the lyrics.” She explained, smiling still. “You were worried about her fucking around with some other dude? No, she was talking about how she was imagining you.” She waved her hand and turned to leave, “It’s called Nasty by Ross, by the way. Give it a listen, if you want to know what she likes.” She let out a few more laughs before shutting the door behind her, leaving Miguel speechless.

His hands flew to his keyboard without a second to spare and he lowered the speakers. What did she mean by hot?

As the chorus rang out quietly, he realized what she meant.

Oh.

His tongue pressed to the roof of his mouth as the words made his imagination come to life.

“Show me where you wanna take it

Grab the headboard, hold on tight

I think we 'bout to break it”

His eyes widened as he felt himself twitch against his suit, the technologically woven fabric straining against his half hard erection.

You liked this…?

He had touched himself to the thought of you before, but he never imagined if you’d been into anything specific. You came off as a girl who liked things simple, and for lack of a better word, vanilla. He thought you’d prefer missionary and soft “oh god” moans, nothing too drastic. Something he’d feared was scaring you away with his fantasies of biting you and drilling into you hard on his kitchen counter, or fucking you over his balcony.

So this was a very welcomed change.

His head ran wild with the ideas of what you’d want him to do. Listening to how this singer directed the song, it seemed like you wanted someone dominant with a gentle touch, you wanted to hear how good you could make him feel, you wanted him to give you a display of his strength while still keeping a calm head and fucking you until you fell apart on him. Soft, but firm.

He couldn’t help but inwardly break a bit to the visualization that formed behind his eyes, your delicate fingers toying with your clit as he watched, face creased as your nose scrunched from the tension you’d started in yourself, grinding into your cute little hands as his slowly guided his hand up and down the shaft of his dick.

He’d bend down just to flick his tongue against you. Just once. Just a tease, a taste, a smell.

God, how he wanted to smell that pussy. To inhale your scent until he was completely overwhelmed and covered by it, then moving to shove his tongue into your aching core and retracting it.

He wanted to watch you clench and grip around nothing, your body practically calling out to him without making a sound.

Miguel wanted to shove his tongue so deep inside you that you’d think it had a mind of its own.

His hand reached out to his desk as he sat down in a chair he almost never even used, letting the blue around his groin dissipate and freeing his cock as it slapped against his abdomen. His fingers pressed a few buttons to close his doors and have his watch on ‘do not disturb mode.’

“She said, "Spank me, that's the only way I learn"

I said, "Okay, good girl, good girl"

His tongue licked his lips as he thought of you from behind, face in his pillows as he caressed his hands up your ass, then planted a smack against your smooth skin. He’d watch the muscle jiggle and redden from the impact of his slap, admiring the soft mewls you’d make for him. Words fell from his mouth like dripping honey.

“That’s it, good girl, buena niña,” He mumbled and let out a relaxed sigh.

“I know everyone wants a pretty girl like you

You look so good when you put me inside you

Listen

There ain't nothin' like that moan when the tip's in

Good God

Look at you, you're doin' such a good job”

The song painted a vivid picture for him about how you wanted him to treat you, to love you. He inhaled sharply as he saw the image of your ass in the air, pussy fully exposed for him as he nestled the head of his cock against your folds and rubbed against you a few times, gathering your sticky mess to soak him before pushing in just the tip. The hiss he let out when he saw this in his head was almost pornographic, groaning as he rutted into the fist he didn’t know that he wrapped around his cock. More aware now, he spit into his palm and continued rubbing himself as he completely indulged. His mind continued its dreams of you, gripping his headboard as he pushed into you and bent down so your back was completely pressed to his chest, his lips kissing the underside of your jaw and whispering in your ear, whispers he didn’t know he was speaking out loud.

“Taking my cock so good, mi amor, such a perfect cunt for me to sink into, like a champ.” He growled and felt his lips twitch, so close to cumming at the idea of you pushing backwards and wanting to take more of him.

“Girl you're mine now, you were made for me

Cum for me baby, you don't gotta wait for me,”

Miguel’s fangs dug into his bottom lip as he tried to muffle his loud animalistic sounds, thinking about you so asking and tightening around his cock, fucking your through your orgasm as he watched a creamy ring form around his dick. The vision made his saliva pool on his tongue and he swallowed it, along with his words.

“Te ves tan hermosa así, solo para mí.” He grunted in Spanish and felt the tension growing in his dick, his orgasm briefly blinding him as ropes of cum shot from his cock, more than usual as he heaved in heavy pants.

You were so fucking beautiful and as he opened his eyes again, his spent still dripping down his own abdomen, his sight caught the current video feed of you.

You, hiding in a corner as you listened with your ear pressed against his office wall and your hand in your suit as you touched yourself.

“No fucking way.” He whispered to himself, catching his breath once more. Miguel looked around and had an idea. Poking his watch a bit, he called you.

“Y-yes?” Your voice was shaky, which he smiled at darkly.

“I need you to bring me some towels. I had a spill in my office.” He spoke, leaning back and watching the cameras ss your body shook and he could hear you gasping through your receiver.

“Be there soon…” you whimpered and he just laughed.

“Just get here quick, so I can replace that hand in your pants with my face, ok pretty girl?” His voice dropped and you let out a moan.

“Y-yes…!” You nodded frantically and swung to get what he needed, making him smile as he leaned back once more in his chair.

Part 2

[elliespuns]

There's this deleted dialogue between Ellie and Dina (video) where all of our theories of how their friendship/relationship started are confirmed. I took the time to write down the whole thing before analyzing the hell out of it.

Dina, is pink. Ellie, is not.

I was asking, if I hadn't come on to you in Jackson, how would you have hit on me? Like I would have hit on you. You totally would've hit on me. How bad could it have gone? You might have rejected me and then what? I'd have to watch you fall for someone else. Okay, worst case, it would be a little awkward and we just move on. There's no way we just move on. Yes, you would have. What if you were grossed out? What if you didn't wanna be around me anymore? Such a pussy. Okay, who was the one that had this blinding urge to kiss me for 4 years and didn't do shit?

Tell me about when you first realized you were into me. Was it my swagger, my overwhelming beauty? I was into from the day we met. Go on. The day we met, you introduced yourself to me and Joel like you were the major or something. Because I thought you were cute. *blushing* shut up! I hate you. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you don't. I love you. I love you too.

Okay, so, as Ellie says, she was into Dina from the day they met. Which was when they came to Jackson with Joel. Ellie was still 14 (I guess more likely freshly 15 at the time, actually). Dina is probably like a year older, so she was 16. I mean, now I can't stop imagining 15-year-old Ellie meeting 16-year-old Dina and being all twitterpated by her. Just remember the cuteness when Ellie was shown to be in love with Riley. Imagine this when she's 15 and meets Dina. Just adorable.

Also, quoting Ellie "Okay, who was the one that had this blinding urge to kiss me for 4 years and didn't do shit?"

This means even Dina had a crush on Ellie in the early stages. 4 years ago, Ellie was 15, so that means she either started to like her right away or a little bit later on. The girls were into each other, just tiptoeing around one another not to do anything stupid or ruin their friendship.

This also gives us a pretty clear picture of how things were between Ellie and Cat. She was already in love with Dina at the time she was going out with her, and remembering how Dina always disliked the fact that Ellie was hanging out with Cat only proves that Dina was jealous all along. Her relationship with Jessee must have been something similar to what Ellie had with Cat, although I believe that Dina started dating Jesse a lot sooner and had already been good friends before that.

Ellie seems a little hesitant when it comes to relationships (this whole dialogue confirms it too), so maybe if it wasn't for Cat making first steps, Ellie would have never gotten into any relationship to begin with. It seems to me that she just wanted to explore and wanted to know what it was like, but she didn't really made herself believe that she loved her. She surely cared for her and liked her, but knowing she was in love with Dina at the time, it was probably even the reason why Cat broke up with her (I always thought it was her who ended it). She probably knew all along that Ellie had eyes for her best friend anyway.

I also appreciate how Ellie admits she was insecure about asking Dina out. "What if you were grossed out? What if you didn't wanna be around me anymore?", I love how deep this digs into Ellie's personality and how, even though she is a strong and independent girl, she still struggles with abandonment issues. Now she doesn't feel like this only towards Joel, but towards her best friend too. Like, she is lovely, nice, funny, and beautiful, but she still feels insecure. Help me with this girl, she deserves the world because she'd rather love her friend from afar than ending up without a friend. Under the layer of thick skin and a strong mind, this girl is so fucking sensitive and fragile it physically hurts me.

This gives the dance scene a whole lot of new meaning. It's probably the very first time Dina says to herself, 'Okay, now's the time. It's now or never.' and after all those years of resisting, she makes a move on Ellie, knowing the girl must feel it too. The girl is too quirky and shy to hide it anymore whenever she's around Dina.

And Ellie? She has been loving Dina for too long, probably trying to convince herself she wouldn't have a chance with Dina, thinking she's into guys, not girls, let alone her girl best friend. And there she is, suddenly grabbing Ellie's hand and leading her on the dance floor, wrapping HER ARMS around HER BODY. Ellie's arms around her body. What is happening? Is she just imagining it? Ellie's heart must have missed thousands of beats at this moment. I love how it's shown in her facial expression as Dina whispers in her ear. Ellie is so awestruck that she doesn't even realize all Dina wants to do is something she should've done 4 years ago.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Can you pls write something like Miguel accidentally really hurts reader so she’s in Hospital or smth and Miguel goes to visit and apologise but Hobie’s really protective and doesn’t want him to see her?? and Miguel’s her dad bc I love angst thanknyouuu <3

Accidents

Angst, fluff, Miguel gets no happy ending atm

He didn’t even realize he had done it.

“Miguel! Be more careful!” She said, looking at him and back to your unconscious body.

“I’m trying!” He said, holding the tentacle doc ock was throwing at him. He said, not looking back.

Jessica shook her head, and entered the portal quickly. She quickly ran to the infirmary, when Hobie spotted her. He looked in her arms and went over, confused on who it was at first.

It wasn’t until he stopped and realized it was you.

He looked at Jess, and he looked at you.

“What the fuck happened?” He said, alarmed.

“It doesn’t matter right now, what matters is that she’s bleeding out in my arms!” She said, and quickly put her on the stretcher, and they quickly rolled her away.

Jessica sighed as Hobie followed you in, the doctors didn’t care too much about him entering and focused on you.

They took off your clothes, and stopped the bleeding first. Then they put you in a hospital gown, and quickly pulled up some machines, checking what was wrong.

Hobie was at your side the whole time, holding your hand and looking at the doctors while doing so.

They did their thing with Hobie in there, and they said there was nothing much else they could do except wait. You were in stable condition luckily. The doctors left after a while.

“Fuck. Knew I shoulda been there, fuckin’..” he paced around the room. The door opened slowly, and Gwen had some flowers and a card in her hand. Pavitr had a sad look on his face.

“Hey… we heard what happened.. you alright in here? They wouldn’t let us in at first.” Gwen said.

Hobie snapped his head to Gwen and Pavitr.

“Where’s Miguel? He should be here-“

“You don’t know…?” Pavitr said.

“Know what..?” Hobie asked.

“He’s the one that did this, bro. We were shocked too. But we went to go get something from him and he was talking to Jessica and Peter B, and we overheard them. He was mad as hell.”

Hobies face dropped, and he was just mad at him now.

“What?” Hobie said angrily.

They both stayed silent and Hobie groaned in frustration. Your own dad did this, and you hadn’t even realized.

“Sorry, man.” Pavitr pat his shoulder and gave him a small hug.

“Swear to God, I’m gonna fucking kill Miguel-“ he was interrupted when someone entered the room.

Miguel.

“How’d this happen?” Hobie asked him immediately.

“It was an accident-“

“This ain’t no fuckin’ accident you can brush off, you coulda fuckin’-“

“But I didn’t. She’s alive. She’s my daughter, Hobie. Let me in-“ he tried pushing Hobie.

“Nah, man. Can’t let you do that.”

You started to wake up and Miguels eyes widened at that.

“Y/n… I didn’t mean to, Y/n!” He said and was being held back by his own doctors.

“Sir, you need to calm down, this is an infirmary-“

“I created this fucking place. I know that.” He spat at the doctor

“Just please… you can come in when your calm.”

“One person in here at a time please.” The doctor said when they entered the room, they all left Hobie and you.

He looked at you and you gave him a small smile.

“Hobie.”

“Yeah, It’s me. You alright?” He said, caressing your cheek.

“What happened?” You asked.

“Well.. you were on a mission, and you got hurt. Don’t know how but..” he lied. He shouldn’t say something that might mess up you and your dad’s relationship.

“Oh.”

“How are you feeling, Ms. O’Hara?” The doctor asked.

“I’m feeling… tired. Sore. It hurts.” You mumbled to her, looking at her.

“That’s expected. You took some heavy damage, we suggest that you don’t go on missions for a while. At least until you’re healed.”

You nodded and looked back at Hobie.

“Where’s my dad?”

“He’s outside.” The doctor said.

You sighed and looked at Hobie again.

“You okay?”

“I’m jus’ tired.. I missed you though.”

He laughed quietly “Well, don’t worry cause I’m not leaving your side anymore.”

————-

Tag list:

Hobie- @enviinotes @rayis-psychotic @korizzybee @animechick555 @stupid-ninja @rreasonablydumbb @xxqueen-of-horrorrxx @spidypunkk @criodzasn

@techta @1eonk @chipstermation6 @whosace16 @ @l-pandamatic-l

@spider-phoenix @zebralover @my-melo-gf @wiz-te-ria @tzuyuzzs @luvsaluv @mxkn

@deputy-videogamer @666kpopfan @jared-oranges @likelilac @jjkclub

@kitty-kei @blaxk-widow @hoesindifferentshows @lavsluvsu @lampylamperson @notbluees @sp0kyzz @arlipooh @freeingrebels @ken-zah @blustalker @cursedbitchboy @romanoffswoman

@chaoticevilbakugo @hobiebrainrot @anonima-2

[invisiblerambler]

Carmy doesn't deserve to be left and Sydney doesn't deserve to leave

None of the relationship between the two of them is about what one or the other deserves.

Fundamentally they have never interacted in a way that could be that transactional.

Thinking about this in terms of what Carmy or Syd deserves is such a flattening of both of their characters.

No one (mostly) deserves to have bad things happen to them, and despite all his many many bad coping mechanisms and lash-outs Carmy doesn't deserve to be abandoned again.

He will not recover if Syd leaves him. Do you think he's going to treat anyone better by her deepening his most fundamental trauma wound?

There is whether he realizes it or not a part of Carmy that thinks Syd was sent by Michael to carry out what he could not.

In a more immediate sense he believes this about Claire. I know her character is forced and awkward, but there is an element of realism to the way that Carmy had to regress back into past versions of himself in that environment.

Carm tells Sydney his sister doesn't think he's a genius, but more than that none of his family see him for who he was in New York or Napa or Cophenhagen. They understand he is extremely talented but that doesn't cancel out the fact that they also knew him as a snot-nosed kid.

Carmy feels like he has to complete something by dating Claire. Mikey forced him to come back to Chicago be a part of the restaurant he never wanted Carm to be a part of, but if he has to be here he might as well be with the girl Michael wanted him to be with. Fundamentally Mikey just wanted Carm to be happy fulfilled and safe but Carm doesn't understand Claire was just the stand in for that.

ANYWAYS back to Sydney, Sydney represents the evolved version of that idea. It has always felt like this subtext that Carmy wishes she could have met Mikey and some part of him feels incomplete because of that, but I think he also wants to believe Mikey sent Sydney, not to save him because she is not his babysitter, but like I said to carry out what Mikey couldn't. A true partner in all senses of the word, and I think Richie eventually warming up to Syd is in a way Mikey approving of her by proxy.

Back to the point I was making 5 paragraphs ago, Carmy will not get better or be encouraged to get better if one of the people he is the most emotionally intimate with in his whole life leaves him.

Yes, Syd is fair to demand more out of Carmy and to require better treatment and boundaries and all of the things that would make it a healthy partnership. But that doesn't mean Carm deserves to be dealt a mortal emotional wound in the process. Yes this is a TV show and these people aren't real, but if we start treating life like a chess game like this...

Sydney does not actually need to leave in order for Carm to realize what he needs to realize. He already learned that lesson with Mikey, and by showing that Carm can learn that lesson before the relationship is fully beyond the point of repair (obviously because of death in Mikey's case) is the most profound growth the show could give him.

No he will not be all the way there, he has a lot of work he needs to do, but one of his biggest problems is the way he refuses to let anyone be excellent alongside him. The ultimate growth for him is realizing that greatness doesn't mean anything when you're alone. Jess echoes this when she says she's around great people when she's not at work.

So much of this show is about the way that ambitious and creative people fundamentally cannot survive when they are cut off from everyone else. Carmy is the antithesis of the tortured creative genius because at every point where he cuts everyone else off he fails. That's why I don't think the review can be a pan, because even with him cutting off Syd at every turn she is still the bones of that restaurant.

So Carm does not deserve to be dealt more emotional trauma. Syd deserves to be happy in whatever way that looks like.

[aaronhotchswife]

CHRISTMAS WITH THE BAU

Summary : You picked Aaron in a Secret Santa game and think it's a great time to tell him your feelings (a Christmas story in the summer, who am I)

Pairing : everyone in the BAU but mostly Aaron X Reader

TW : alcohol drinking, poor writing and that's it, it's a fluff one shot,

Snow was slowly falling outside while you finished putting your outfit together. Emily was supposed to be there in a minute, driving you to JJ's house. It wasn't unusual for the BAU to spend Christmas together. None of you were really close of your family and spending Christmas with the people you work with seems to be the best idea. You just finished zipping your forest green dress when you heard a knock on the door. Looking through the peephole, you saw Emily standing there. After opening the door and letting her in, you got back to your bedroom to pick some earrings before putting them on.

"Damn, you look insanely good. Someone will not be able to take their eyes away from you."

Emily knew about your not so little crush about Aaron. In fact, all the girls knew and you're pretty sure that Morgan, Reid and Rossi catched up and had their suspicions. They're a bunch of profilers after all. The only person who seemed not to noticed was Hotch himself. You guys had a good relationship like he had with JJ or with anybody else in the team but you couldn't help yourself and be delusional about it and think that there's more. The thing you didn't know is that Hotch spend a good amount of times asking about you. For example, even if you spend the day with him at work, he would ask Penelope or JJ what's going on in your life, as if he was too shy to ask you so personal questions. The girls told you all about that but you guessed that he was just doing his job, asking about his colleagues, before realizing that he never went to you to ask you about them. According to Emily, it was also not so subtle the way he was looking at you when you were looking somewhere else or how he would smile when he heard you laugh. So when you picked him for Secret Santa, you thought that it would be a great time to maybe tell him how you feel. But finding him a gift and a way to tell him how you feel was so much harder that you would've thought. After much reflection, you settle for something that you knew he would love.

"Yeah, I'm sure he will." you responded, eyes in the air, chuckling a little bit while grabbing your purse and your keys.

The ride to JJ's house was filled with Christmas music and laugh. You and Emily went to pick up Garcia and helped her pack the car with the hundred gifts she brought, one for everyone, including Will and Jack and of course her godson Henry. Entering JJ's, your heart couldn't help but skip a beat when you saw Hotch. He was wearing black jeans with a grey knitten sweater. Seeing him not dressed in suits is something you will never be able to get used too. You gave hugs and kisses to everyone, except Hotch. Not that you didn't want to but honestly you didn't know how to act around him out of the job. He seemed to notice because he turned to Emily looking at her with a frown. She just shrug her shoulders and wave him away before moving to the living room. He made his way to the kitchen, grabbing himself a glass of wine and when he exited the kitchen, he had 2 glasses of wine in his hands, making his way to you.

"Merry Christmas." he said, a ghost of a smile on his lips, handing you the glass.

"Thank you Hotch." you said, grabbing the glass. "Merry Christmas to you too." you smiled, locking eyes with him before looking away rapidly so he can't see your cheeks getting pink.

Since Hayley passed away, it was common for him to spend Christmas with his team. He although always do a dinner with Jess and Jack, finding it important for Jack, Jess and him to spend a least a Christmas night together. Everyone was in the living room talking and laughing while you and JJ were in the kitchen, preparing the appetizers. Hotch made his way to the kitchen to see if you girls needed help, and when he asked, JJ left the kitchen with an excuse leaving you two alone.

"You look beautiful tonight y/n. You are beautiful." he said softly, looking at you.

You froze, unable to cut vegetables without cutting yourself from how much you hands were shaking, not expecting him to say something like this.

"Thanks Hotch, you too. I really like this style on you." you laughed slightly, turning yourself to him. His face got red before he explained to you that Jess bought it for his birthday.

"She has great taste." you smiled to him.

He looked at you from the corner of his eyes during all that time before you exited the kitchen with a plate of appetizers.

A couple weeks ago, when Hotch learned who he picked for Secret Santa, his heart skipped a beat. Seeing your name on the little piece of paper, he tried to keep a pokerface and not smiled in front on the others. The only thing is that he had absolutely no idea what to get you. Days passed and he came to the conclusion that he needed to ask Rossi for advice. Dave was always teasing him about you and telling him that he should make a move before it was too late. So when Aaron went to Rossi's office to ask him what to get you, Dave couldn't help but smiled and convince him that he should tell you how he feels.

"It's gifts time!!" Penelope shrieks, picking a gift from under the trees. "So the first gifts are for Jack and Henry, so after that you won't have to wait for the adults." she explained them. "It's from me and you're gonna have Santa's one tomorrow."

The two of them unwrapped their gifts and hugged Penelope before moving to Henry's bedroom to play with their new gifts.

"Alright so Secret Santa time?" Derek asked.

You heart was pounding heavily in your chest and while scanning the room with your eyes to focus your attention on something, you saw Aaron already looking at you. He smiled shyly before turning back his attention on Morgan who was trying to guess who picked him.

"Mmmh, y/n ?" he asked, too sure of himself.

"Nope!" you responded chuckling.

"I'll go with Emily then"

Emily made a face of "you got me" and went to pick a gift from under the tree and handed it to Derek. It was a 1h session with a well-known gym insctructor.

"Woah thank you so much Em!" he said, hugging her.

It was then Emily's turn who guessed right on the first time. Rossi picked her and JJ's picked Rossi. Before you knew it it was your turn to guess.

"I'll go with Spence." you said, sipping on your drink and being grateful that it was there to give you a minimum of courage.

Spencer shook his head, meaning that it wasn't him. It could either be Derek, Garcia or...Hotch. You knew it couldn't be Garcia because she couldn't keep a secret and told you that she picked JJ.

"Derek ?"

"No pretty girl, sorry."

"I'll go with Hotch then." you talked, looking everywhere except in front of you where he was.

"Good guess." he chuckled before handed you a little box. When you opened it, you saw a little bracelet, one you showed Dave months before when you guys were taking a walk.

"Omg Hotch, thank you so much I love it!" you exclaimed, your cheeks getting pink. Before you could know it, you were hugging him slightly before pushing yourself away. He whispered something in your ear and you nodded, before letting him put the bracelet on your wrist. Penelope was quick to take a picture, looking at you with a wink. You took a mental note to thank her later.

"So Hotch, it's your turn to guess." Emily said, kicking Derek feet from the footstool.

He guessed like 3 names before guessing yours and you nodded, handing him a gift. When he opened it, he couldn't believed his eyes. You bought him a vinyl of The Beatles White Album, something he spend years searching. In the box was also a little card, where you wrote :

Aaron,

Meet me outside at 11.

P.S. don't read to card out loud.

He nodded at you, before speaking "I don't know what to say y/n. I've been looking for this for ages. Thank you so much." he said, hugging you. His hand was at the end of your back and you could feel the chills on your skin. The night was going well, but you still felt anxious for 11pm. You knew it was the right thing to do and if the answer was something bad, then you will know it's time to move on. Henry and Jack came back to hang out with the adults and when Henry saw Will's guitar in the corner of the room, he tugged on your dress to ask if you could play something. He knew you could sing and play guitar because everytime you babysat him, you always sung him something. Before you could refuse, Garcia, who witnessed all of the situation, clapped her hands and shrieks with joy.

"Oh!! Let's go y/n!!"

You raised your eyes in the air, chuckling before grabbing the guitar and settle it on your knees. "What do you want me to play ?" you asked Henry. Before he could answer, Jack exclaimed "Blue Christmas ! It's my dad's favorite!" You could see Aaron laughed, agreeing with him. "Well, it's a good thing because it's my favourite too." you said, caressing Jack's shoulders. Everyone was listening to you and your eyes couldn't looked away from Aaron who was mesmerized by you. He never saw you more beautiful than in your green dress, singing his favorite Christmas song. Rossi was watching him and he made eye contact with Emily who smirked, looking at Hotch and at you, subtly telling Dave that something was clearly going on. When 11pm strikes, the kids were asleep for a long time already and everyone was still in the living room, talking about all and nothing. You got up, making your way to the backdoor, looking at the sky while trying to take deep breaths in and out. You heard the door open. You turned around and saw Hotch, his coat in his arms. Before you could talk, he put it on your shoulders, patting it at the same time.

"So, you wanted to talk to me ?" he asked, setting himself next to you, close enough for your shoulders to touch. Snow was falling in his dark hair and you could swear you never saw him more cute than right now.

"I did." you responded, looking up to his eyes. "I need you to be honest with me Hotch. Is there something going on between us ? Or am I just imagining it ? Because I talk with the girls and they all say that you always asks about me and always looks at me and I need to be sure because if there's nothing going on then I'll just force myself to move on." you rambled, turning around to not face him.

"There is." he said. You turned around quickly, looking at him with a frown. "I'm sorry I didn't say something earlier, I wanted too but I wasn't sure how and if you felt the same and Dave was always teasing me with this and telling me that I should tell you how I feel before it's too late and I never saw a good moment. But when I picked you for Secret Santa, I knew I had to tell you something sooner or later tonight and well, when I saw your gift and the little note you left, I was hoping you would tell me that." he said, looking back at you, waiting for an expression on your face.

"So that's why you knew I wanted that bracelet." you laughed.

"Dave told me you saw it one time with him and that you thought it was pretty."

"It really is. Thank you again, I love it."

"Thanks to you too."

"I remembered hearing you talk about it, and about the fact that you couldn't find it anywhere."

"y/n." he murmured. "Can I kiss you ?"

"I thought you'd never ask." you said, before seeing him looking at your eyes and at your lips, then back at your eyes before putting a soft kiss on your lips. The kiss was so suprising that you couldn't help but moan a little, making him smile on your lips. His lips were rough but enjoyable and his hand in your hair made your legs tremble. After too little seconds for you, he left your lips to take a breath. His eyes were still in yours and he murmured something, making you blush and lean on him.

When you enter the house again, it has been noticed that you guys had left. Judging by your face and Aaron's one, it was clear for everyone who knew what happened, except for Derek and Reid who looked at everyone with a frown, as if asking what just happened. You laughed, grabbing Aaron's waist with one arm and kissing his cheek.

[milimeters-morales]

So my thing with Hobie’s nicknames: I have Hobie call Lyla “Tinkerbell” or “Tink” bc she’s small, has a yellow glow, and has an attitude, so i’m probably just gonna have him base his names off of childrens’ story characters, like for example Jess would be “Kanga” and her unborn baby is “Roo”, Margo I haven’t decided yet since we don’t know much about her movie-self and Hobie wouldn’t have any character to reference bc of her technology, but from what I’ve seen she could have her nickname as something related to The Little Mermaid because while everyone is here in person, she’s in her own dimension in a life she doesn’t really enjoy, but i’m also hesitant to have him think “Cinderella” is a good name because cmon. Her parents argue a lot, and she does use being a vigilante as a form of escape, but that’s implying that they hate her and harm her, and that’s not something Hobie would say without 100% certainty. Maybe he’d just give her a non-character nickname, like Pixie (bc Pixelate, Pixie Dust, Pick-&-Choose, whatever). Okay this is getting long it’s continued under the cut.

I personally don’t like the Gwendy and Peter Pan nicknames he gave Gwen and Miles but i guess it’s cute, but i would’ve preferred something a bit more personal to Miles rather than just in relation to Gwen bc they feel less like their own people then, even tho Peter and Wendy were an adorable duo. I can see Gwen = Wendy bc she ran away from home to a “neverland” that was supposed to be a paradise basically but realizes she can’t stay, or if you take that “Gwen was going to be shot in the stomach” thing some people who worked on the movie said they got rid of and apply it to her “ghost, gwen stacy always falls, forever immortal and taking back control” thing and her relationship with death and the idea of Neverland having dead children so they are “immortal” and “never grow up” it sticks.

But (even if it’s teasing) calling Miles “Peter Pan” doesn’t even make sense because he didn’t lead her here, she led him to the Society (unknowingly). Like people want to shove “sunflower” and “flower” into everything involving Miles so badly and it feels EXTREMELY forced. I feel like Hobie would call him something else, and this is where the name “Bambi” could come in because while Miles hasn’t lost his mother or father, he’s still learning his place in the world while saving countless people now and in the future, and will eventually become a great stag, even if life wasn’t always kind to him. But again, I don’t think Hobie would do that 100% because he doesn’t really know Miles like that. Or, he could go for more recent nicknames and non-character names that are safer, like “Brave Little Toaster/Toaster” for obvious reasons, or “Spark/Bolt/Livewire” that don’t feel as child-like as “Bambi” or as forced as “Peter Pan”

I also have to take into account what things Hobie just might not have seen, because in the setting i’m talking about he’s not living in a houseboat, so he probably doesn’t have much time to see or learn about these fairytales/characters, and it’s based on chance on when he’d know about them. Because I also have to remember that his city is still highly policed and his people are forced to fit into the mold and comply to societal standards and whatnot, so even things as simple and enjoyable as short stories for kids would be heavily controlled. Libraries are fucked in his universe but they’re one of the only “safe” havens. I think it really adds to his attitude about his own life, how he’s much older than these friends despite being like 16-19, and how he feels the most responsible for them no matter how much he denies that and tries to get rid of that feeling. Calling them these nicknames gives him both the feeling of “haha, these little kids are the future and i’m an old man” and “i’m a little kid again!!”

that’s it :3

[thefirst3chapters]

There is so much going on with the parallels in this gifset (Rory and Jess's first kiss and Jess's infamous "I love you"). This got long so it's under the cut.

Both of these scenes happen after Rory or Jess's parent(s) announce a new relationship: For Rory, she just talked with Christopher and is happy about the prospect of her parents being together. This family reunion is seconds away from being over, but Rory is hopeful that it will last. For Jess, he just met TJ, was not impressed, and does not want to be a part of the situation at all. He is jaded from seeing Liz repeatedly getting involved in destructive relationships and is frustrated that Luke thinks they can change her mind. It is interesting that both Rory and Jess's history of abandonment is highlighted as they abandon each other. (Similar to how Jimmy showed up and ran out on Jess in the same episode that Jess left.)

Both of these scenes happen at an event that commemorates love: The kiss is at Sookie and Jackson's wedding, and the "I love you" is at the Firelight Festival, which celebrates a star-crossed love story from Stars Hollow's history. The wedding is joyful and marks a beginning while the festival has a more bittersweet undertone. This holiday is when Dean breaks up with Rory in S1 and when Rory is heartbroken by Logan's disinterest in S5, but the scene with Jess is the only one of the three that happens at the festival itself. (Rory really can't catch a break with this holiday.)

Both of these scenes have surrounding events that contrast their aesthetic: The scenery of Rory and Jess's first kiss is of course beautiful and is fit for an Austen-esque drama. It's springtime, and Rory and Jess are both wearing blue. The beauty is undercut by the impending Lorelai/Christopher fallout, Rory’s inner turmoil and disloyalty to Dean, and Jess’s pain as he moved back for Rory only to see her run away; the seeds of communication problems and abandonment that will plague their relationship have been sown among the blossoming flowers. The "I love you" scene happens on a cold, dark winter night. Rory and Jess are both wearing neutral colors, and it's clear from their facial expressions that despite what they both told Lorelai, they are emotionally torn up by their estrangement. The darkness is undercut by the Firelight Festival’s faith that love will eventually conquer its obstacles; among the twinkle lights, Luke and Lorelai find each other (it’s not their time, yet) and Liz tells Luke she is hopeful that Jess will be okay and TJ will be a good partner for her (the rest of the show proves that this faith was well-placed). Rory and Jess's obstacles of failed communication and abandonment remain, but so does hope.

Rory and Jess respectively reveal what they did to their parental figure when they return to town months later. The aesthetic contrast is interesting. Lorelai and Rory have this conversation in public and in broad daylight. Lorelai and Rory's "default setting" is being best friends, but this is something significant that Rory kept from her. Lorelai, who is still upset over what happened with Christopher, tells Rory that the situation isn't fair to Dean but ends up focusing more on Dean's feelings than anything else. Luke and Jess have this conversation alone and in the dark. It's their breakthrough moment where they realize how much they really care about each other, and Jess divulging something so personal is a big deal. Luke just had the revelation that he loves Lorelai, and his advice is more focused on trying to help Jess. The dialogue is so similar:

Lorelai and Rory in S3 E1: "Well, I thought it was over. I mean, you haven't talked with him since..." / "Sookie's wedding." / .... / "Okay, so he crashed Sookie's wedding, and..." / "And nothing. He told me he was back in town, that he'd moved back, and..." / "What, Rory? Come on." / "And we kissed, okay?"

Luke and Jess in S4 E21: "No. Rory, still? That's ancient history. You haven't seen her in a year." / "I saw her when I was here a few months ago." / "I didn't know that. So, what happened?" / "Nothing... I told her, uh..." / "What?" / "I told her I loved her."

Both of these reunions bookend a third Literati reunion (of sorts) at the End of Summer Madness Festival: In S3 E1, Rory just told Lorelai that she is joining her in not speaking with Christopher, which contrasts her talking with him at the wedding. Rory was surprised to find Jess under a tree at the wedding, and here she is surprised to find him under a tree kissing Shane. The setting here is also a stark contrast to the other two scenes. It is late summer, the music is loud and irritating, red is a prominent color, and lots of people are present. The body language of Jess and Rory's first kiss was so affectionate, but Jess and Shane appear far less emotionally invested. These contrasts all enrich the comparison of Rory’s clandestine enchantment at the wedding to her disappointed jealousy at the summer festival.

Looking at all three of these scenes together, there is this poetic sequence of Rory and Jess's relationship from a beautiful spring day to an overbearing summer afternoon to a bleak (but not entirely so) winter night, and it's really compelling.

It is notable that all three of these reunions happen outside, and so do a lot of their other scenes together. The idea that Rory and Jess find freedom to be themselves when they are together is brought up often, and the fact that so many of their scenes are outside could be reflective of that. Being outside gives them space to breathe and grow away from the confines of what other people expect of them, but it also leaves them more exposed to the elements and more at risk of being left out in the cold, which makes vulnerability frightening for both of them. They don't quite have the emotional skills to weather those challenges (yet).

[vclvetfleur]

Obedient Chapter 13

roman roy x fem!reader

Summary: You and Jess haven't spoken in a while. You finally decide to confront her on the plane to Dundee. While Roman is still in deep denial over his father's abuse.

TW: trauma talk, child neglect, degradation

Word Count: 5k

Notes: SOrry for taking so long. I have been not knowing where to lead this and I had to focus on French class lately.

Chapter 13: A Clockwork Orange

You heard Roman till he had finally fallen asleep. You both agreed that he couldn’t just let his father just sweep that under the rug. You even convinced Roman not to forgive. You knew it was a lot to ask, but you wanted him to heal. And bending and forgiving was not going to do anything for him or Logan. Except make Logan think Roman was just as weak as he thought he was. You woke up before him, making him an appointment to go see a dentist to fix his tooth as soon as possible. You were still in shock. You couldn’t help but stare at it as it was laid on the counter, dried blood on the end of it. You put a tissue over it, not wanting to be reminded of it. You felt sorry for Roman. You were in his place years ago. You were him when you didn’t realize that your parents would never change.

They weren’t going to. They never did. Not for you at least. You had gotten older, moving from home to home depending on if your parents wanted to deal with you or not. You had been sent to aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, and family friends. You had only come back after your parents had your sibling. And there it was. They changed. But not for you. Not towards you. But towards her. You had gotten updates, hearing about their new golden star child. How nothing has made them happier. You wished you could stand up to protect her, but you didn’t have to. She got the parents you wished for.

A part of you wished you got them, but you knew you weren’t worth changing for in their eyes. And Roman wasn’t worth changing for either.

You brushed your teeth, staring at your phone. You always wondered if an unknown number would maybe one day be them. But that was you just getting your hopes up for an unrealistic fantasy. You looked at Roman, sleeping. You were glad he finally got his moment of peace after what had happened last night. You came back to back, scrolling through your phone and making notes for Roman. Today was a day Roman wouldn’t be in the office anyway, so you just wanted him to relax. But still do things before having to go back to the office. You were sure Roman wasn’t gonna go to the office with a tooth missing. It would only create talk. He also didn’t need any media seeing him like that.

You felt Roman stirring himself awake, moving his head away from the light as it shined in. “Morning Rome…” You told him, running your fingers through his hair. You were busy texting Eduard, trying to set up some kind of meeting with Roman. It would possibly be the biggest fuck you to his father if he landed a major deal with another billionaire when Logan had just messed up the deal with Nan. Logan had exploded at the show that you both missed, where Rhea and Nan followed him and told him the deal was off. This was all relayed to you by Shiv. She had kept checking up on Roman the entire night and you just sent her updates when you could. Despite their rocky relationship and the fact they never really got along with one another. And the constant fighting and yelling and hitting. They deeply cared. Shiv and Roman were the most verbally aggressive with one another, but had so much in common when it came to their dad than they did with Kendall. Kendall was Logan’s pride. He basically removed Kendall from their mom and obsessed over his future. He was the only thing that mattered. He had sent Connor away and was now worrying about one kid. Then Roman came along, but Kendall was just something else. Then a certain incident made Roman act quieter, more reserved. Which in turn made Logan a lot more harder on him. He was seen as weak. Not as good as Kendall. Not that he really paid him much mind, but the fact that Roman was more emotional and was now suddenly quieter, it only made Logan resent him more. A child at the age of 7 was now weak and not fit to be CEO forever. But his other son, who even at the age of 3 was set for the CEO job. Then came Shiv. Logan was disappointed about having a girl. Carolina was a little excited but was too busy with her own issues to care enough. She completely abandoned her children when Shiv was born. Shiv never mattered. Only if she started to be prettier than Carolina. Then Carolina tried to compete and force and embarrass Shiv. Even only uplifting Roman to make Shiv feel worse. But once Shiv stopped looking for the attention of her mother, she played with Kendall’s games of using Roman for the attention of their dad.

Roman was the weird one. And Shiv was the girl.

The two outcasts of the family. Both not good enough for anything.

Not even their dad.

So, despite their distain for one another, at least they weren’t Kendall.

Kendall only checked in on Roman from Shiv. He did his best. He had to physically protect Roman. He was smaller. He wasn’t able to when they were younger. Kendall felt a duty to always physically be there for Roman. Trying to be there emotionally never worked because Roman was too scared to ever open up. His emotions got him in trouble. He never knew when the right time was to ever open up.

So as result of Connor’s absence as older brother, he had to pick up the role and protect Roman physically from Logan. He could only protect him so much. He started to protect him more once he had gotten tall enough. Logan was never scared of his kids though. He knew what power he had over them.

Either way, they all did their parts as siblings as best as they could with the father and mother they were given. They made a lot of mistakes on the way, but there was an effort.

“Morning…” Roman mumbled under the sheets, covering his mouth with the comforter. He didn’t want you to see him without his tooth there. It made him even more insecure than he already was. He knew that you already had, but something in his mind told him you’d run if you saw it. That he’d be too much or something like that. His mind was controlling his logic. “How are you feeling?” You asked, pulling yourself from the phone. You were ready to tell him the news of what you had just done but wanted to ease him into it.

“Fucking great. Uh- can we leave early?” He asked you. You nodded, going back on your phone to make the arrangements. You both were supposed to leave at 11, but you had gotten up early enough. Roman wasn’t ready for the questioning. Roman finally crawled out of bed, going to the bathroom. He had been there for a good 15 minutes, just staring at himself and his missing tooth. It made him feel so ashamed. He never was super secure with how he looked. He knew he wasn’t special, and no one was chasing after him. He was shocked you were decently into him. But the tooth made it so much worse. Another dent in his appearance. Roman hated himself even more. Not only because he hated how he looked, but the tooth was just a reminder of how Logan really felt about him. Roman was never ready to accept that Logan wasn’t a good parent. Logan was abusive. But to Roman, it was his fault. But you helped put it into perspective for him. He finally accepted some part of Logan was abusive and his love wasn’t actual love. His mom, despite being neglectful and instilling terrible ideals and being emotionally unavailable, she loved him. She checked in on him. She held him. She would be there if Roman deeply tried to. Logan was never there for anything. No matter how hard you tried to.

“Rome?” You called out. He barely heard you. You had already gotten dressed, keeping updates on the car that was arriving soon. You knocked before going into the room. You saw him just staring at himself and inspecting little things about his face and appearance. “Hey, the car’s almost here. You almost done?” You asked. He finally snapped out of it, looking at you. He had no idea why you were so willing to be with him when he looked the way he did. But he was so grateful for your standards being that low, in his head. He just put toothpaste on his toothbrush and started brushing his teeth, acting as though he wasn’t just inspecting himself in front of you. “Your appointment today is at 6, by the way.” You mentioned to him. “Wow, thanks, mum.” He joked. His words were slurred with toothpaste foaming his mouth and his brush stuck between the inside of his lips and teeth.

“I know you wanna fuck your mom, Roman, but don’t call me that.” You made a quick comment. You weren’t sure if he fit the Freudian theory, but it wasn’t unlikely.

“If Shiv told you that, tell her to stop acting like I haven’t seen her give Dad fuck me eyes too” Roman shot back. He was of course lying. You’ve seen how Shiv looked at Logan. It was exactly how you looked at your dad when you were in middle school. Just regret and shame for hating him, but such distain and anger for whatever happened.

“I’ll be sure to send her an email about it.” You rolled your eyes. You came up and jumped onto the counter. You looked at him, looking at the details as he was doing earlier. His eyes were so soft. They had bags under them that made them seem slightly sunken. But his personality and other expressions always reminded you he was actually awake. His eyebrows were mostly straightened, but so expressive. For a man who hated showing his emotions, he showed them so much with just his face. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” You asked him. There it was. His eyebrows furrowed, questioning you, but his eyes softened. He didn’t look at you like he was actually confused. Just pleasantly surprised. “I don’t think I have either.” He spits his toothpaste out before starting to brush his tongue. He wasn’t ready yet. He didn’t want to feel all the love you were willing to give. You leaned down and gave him a kiss on the forehead before dropping yourself off the counter. You went off to the bedroom and began to prep Roman’s things for him and your own stuff. Roman soon came in, wrapping his arms around you. He stood behind you, laying his head on your shoulder. He left a kiss on your jaw before giving another on your cheek and moving close to your ear. He whispered, “You’re gorgeous.” Before moving away from you.

You suppressed a smile, giving it a frown kind of look. You looked at him as he grabbed his clothes and finally started to dress himself. “You saw that in a movie, didn’t you?” You asked him. He looked up, his smile creeping up before nodding.

He buttoned his shirt. “Yeah- I think it was one of those shit movies you’ve shown me lately. Fuck wait- was it ‘Clockwork Orange’?” He asked you. You had shown him your favorite movies lately. Most of the time he talked through them and acted as if he thought they were dumb, but after enough scolding from you, he would quit it. He enjoyed most of them though. Except maybe one of them, but he thought it was too pretentious, trying to say something about something that had no real meaning.

“Oh yea- definitely. Wow, Alex. What a little charmer, huh?” You played along. It definitely wasn’t ‘A Clockwork Orange’.

You both left the room once Roman was settled in. You both had to be escorted through the media, questioning Roman about the scandal. Roman knew better not to make too light of a joke at the moment. Mostly to media.

“God what fucking vultures…” He whispered to you once the door was shut. “Doesn’t ATN do the same thing?” You asked him, calling out on his hypocrisy.

“Shut the fuck up… fucking snowflake…” He mumbled, laying his head back. He reached down, holding your hand in his. It was the most affection he could give you out in public. Plus, he needed it to calm his nerves down.

“I have news by the way… Eduard is willing to meet with you. Next week. He thinks after the scandal has gone through a week, the hype will die down and by the time the deal lands that it’ll mostly be over. So yeah, you're welcome.” You smirked. You were cocky, but after working your way into it, you had convinced him. No one was gonna touch ATN for a while. Not with this scandal around.

“Good job, you did your fucking job.” He teased. He was happy though. You saw it on his face.

You had just made sure Roman was safely home before going to your own home. You needed to decompress after yesterday too. You had just run a bath, done some skincare, and treated yourself to a meal. An actual meal. Not a snack.

You texted Roman to make sure he went to his appointment to just be sent a photo of him in the dentist's chair. You saved it to your phone. You were tempted to text Jess. You stared at her number for a while. You swallowed your fear of rejection and finally texted.

‘hey. are you ready to talk?’

You watched the delivered notification turn into Read 7:19 PM.

Then 3 text bubbles coming up. For them to disappear quickly. You didn’t get anything from her all night. Not even in the morning.

She did not speak to you for days.

Waystar seemed to be in a worse state than it ever had been.

Sandy and Stewy were trying to get shareholders and attacking the company. The scandal had gotten worse and now they were scrambling with investors.

Roman had even told you about how Logan even claimed to never hit Roman. It hurt, but it made Roman truly believe he might’ve been overreacting. It just led you both into a fight as you tried to knock some sense into him. But he was stubborn in his ways. Logan still could do no wrong in his eyes. And the more you discredited Logan, the more upset he got. He was just back to doing his dirty business for his father. He was now off to England with Kendall to convince his mom to actually vote for her ex-husband who she despised. You were invited to come, but your fight with Roman made you decline the offer. He just shoved it off as if he didn’t care about it at all. He just thought it would maybe be nice for you to meet his other parent. But you reminded him of your actual status.

You had gotten more news on Waystar as a story broke about Logan ‘bullying’ and ‘hitting’ a young man, someone between the ages of 18 and 23. Apparently, it had caused the boy to drive his car into a lake. You didn’t doubt it. Roman tried to call you about it and called it bullshit.

“I don’t know Rome, seems on brand for him.” You shrugged, sipping on your coffee. It had been 2 pm for him while Kendall and Logan were out doing damage control.

“Fucking- whatever… yea cause people are so sensitive nowadays. Dad didn’t even hit him. Fucking moron is going to drive off a lake over an insult? Really?” Roman ranted, but you had pulled your phone away from your ear, unable to listen to Roman speak ill about a dead child.

“Roman- fucking stop…” You warned but he didn’t. You just hung up.

He looked at Shiv, shocked and obviously upset about your choice to hang up. “What the fuck?” He asked. Shiv shrugged, not surprised. But she just kept her opinion to herself. You shuddered at the thought of what Roman was saying. It truly disgusted you. You knew it was just because he was so ignorant. He was sheltered to think whatever was going on was okay. Shiv just pushed Roman out of the house and decided to finally go to their mom. It would be better if they went rather than bring Kendall. Kendall was Caroline’s least favorite. Shiv was a close second last. Roman was the only one accepting whatever love she could possibly give.

You had been packing for England for your late-night flight. You had to be there for some stupid award show for Logan to celebrate some stupid achievement.  It was just a way to inflate his ego. And for his peers to celebrate him. You thought it was obnoxious.

You were finally finished, getting your bags and putting your belongings into the back of a black car that waited for you. You were being driven before stopping to pick up other people. Including Jess. You watched her get into the car. Your eyes met, but she diverted her eyes away from you. You just wished she’d talk to you. You weren’t sure if your relationship with Roman was worth this. This was too hard.

“Hey…” you tried to talk to her, but she had ignored you for her phone. You bit your lip, looking away. Once you did, Jess’ eye looked up at you with pity. She wanted to talk to you too, but she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to talk about your emotions for Roman. Or why you lied? Or why didn’t listen to her? There were so many questions. But she wasn’t emotionally ready for it. She wasn’t ready to apologize for all the awful things she said either, bringing your family and past up as a way to hurt you.

But it happened.

It stuck with you more often than usual. The fact your parents were emotionally unavailable or physically abusive. How much they’d pick out the flaws you had. All the names. And the blaming for what was done to you.

You were reminded of it constantly since you had to spend more time with the Roys.

You had gotten on the flight, watching Jess as she had just walked past you without giving a second glance over to you.

You had enough. You sat across from her. “Jess… Fucking talk to me… Please… Just FUCKING KNOCK IT OFF!” You exploded. People looked at you, but you gave them a look to make them stop. They quickly looked away.

“What do you want me to say y/n?” She asked you. You sighed, running your fingers through your hair. “Well? I don’t know what to say to you y/n… And I don’t think this is the conversation to have with people around. I know this is your little secret.” She shrugged it off.

You let out a large breath, shaking your head no. “I’m fucking sorry. I didn’t- it’s just- I fucked up. And I regret my choices. If I knew they’d end this badly, I would’ve not gone through with it.” You let out a shaky breath.

“But you knew y/n. I told you. You just ignored it. You did what you did. And I said what I said.” She tried to avoid the conversation.

“I’ll break up with him… As soon as we land, it’ll be over.” You tried to rationalize. Jess thought that was what she wanted. But she wasn’t sure if it was. She didn’t like the fact you were both hooking up or doing whatever, but she knew it wasn’t truly her business. She shook her head, just grabbing her phone. “It’s just- it won't fix anything.” She wasn’t sure if it would ruin your happiness.

Realistically your happiness with Roman shifted depending on if Roman would express his awful opinions. Which he had a lot of.

“I just wanna fix this Jess…” You pouted.

“If you wanna fix this… just give it time… I’m just not there yet. Uh- maybe we could talk about it more another time.” She tried to compromise with you. She missed you too. But this wasn’t going to be productive. You nodded, getting up, and swung your hand on a bottle as it flew against the wall. “real fucking mature.” Jess called out. You walked away defeated and annoyed. You spent the rest of the flight away from Jess.

You had landed in the morning, getting your stuff quickly. The family had already been there, so you were immediately sent to go to where they were staying.

You texted Roman letting him know you had arrived safely. He had sent you multiple messages, trying to admit what he said was disgusting and unfair. He didn’t directly say it, but he admitted to it being not the best thing he could say.

You were driven to the event, ready to confront Roman. But once you had walked in his face lightened up once you walked in. He had grabbed you a glass of whatever was being served and came over to you. “Hey, here get drunk, Shiv is plotting something.” He whispered. You smiled, taking the glass from him. Despite Roman sometimes being awful, he could be very sweet. And he was now more willing to see his mistakes.

“Ooo. Can’t wait.” You smirked, sipping your drink. Rhea began her speech, going on and on about whatever bullshit Shiv fed her.

Rhea began her speech and had brought up ‘Rose’. Roman looked amused at Shiv’s game. While Rhea had lifted her glass up with a huge smile on her face as if Logan was going to be sooo happy to hear about Rose. You didn’t even know who Rose was. You leaned in and asked Roman “who’s Rose?” You asked.

“Dad’s dead sister.” He whispered. Logan had put his drink down and sulked in his seat. It set a mood for everyone to stay quiet.

Roman walked past Rhea “Wow. Well done. Look at you, fitting right in.” He teased before making a disgusting pedophilic joke. He seemed to be interrogating her. You didn’t know their issue with her all of a sudden, but you decided to stay out of it. You sat with Shiv, watching them whispering to each other.

“What a fucking snake…” Shiv whispered to you. You laughed, watching as Rhea tried to work her deal with Roman.  But Shiv and him were in a very healthy place where they decided to work against someone again. They always worked better when they plotted against another person together.

“What’d she do?” You asked.

“She’s trying to suck the CEO position out of Dad’s dick and balls.” She stared at Rhea, trying to intimidate her.

Rhea couldn’t find an in with Roman and joined the table. Roman sat with you and Shiv and Roman then began to interrogate with Tom being their hype man.

The tension felt incredibly thing. But Connor decided to ease the mood but decided to insult Rhea nonetheless.

“This is a fucking slaughter…” You whispered to Roman. “I wanna join.” You snickered at the idea.

“Uh- we should start. The event is going to start soon.” Rhea tried to get out of the next dig that was going to be thrown her way. You had been brought to Logan’s old home. You just watched the kids insult the looks as if it was cheap and disgusting. But it was something that looked huge to you. You would never understand their perception of money. Roman thought a coffee cost $40. A black coffee. It wasn’t cheap, sure $4-$8 depending on where you went. But nowhere near $40. You all just waited for Logan to arrive, but Logan could barely look at it. The photographers waited to take a photo, but Logan told the driver to speed off.

“Wow, how fucking fun. God, you know this reminds me exactly when I chased that twink singer in some dumb fucking band for him to just drive off in his car. Should we chase after him?” You joked. You all just seemed a bit annoyed about your time being completely wasted. But that was expected of Logan. You crawled in the car, Roman following you right after. “I didn’t even know Logan was Scottish. I thought he was just some rich fuck with generational money. You know like some hush hush tycoon stuff.” You admit.

“Yeah- Dad doesn’t talk about that kind of stuff- he rather talk about how much he hated Connor’s mom than talk about his own.” Roman laughed. Thankfully, Connor wasn’t around to hear the comment towards him. You had just stood outside. You didn’t want to watch Logan gloat about some stupid University he was buying out. You found the perfect excuse to stay behind.  You grabbed your pack of cigarettes out, lighting the end. You sucked on the end, waiting for the rest of them to come out. You saw an older man come by with a hat and trench coat and sat and watched. You just watched him. He looked disappointed. Annoyed. Angry. You saw Greg leave the building to greet him. “Oh hey- y/n.” Greg waved at you. You thought Greg might’ve had a little crush on you. He had asked you to ‘come to hang out’ with him so many times. He even tried to impress you multiple times with his big-boy job. It was amusing in all honesty. It was cute. But he just wasn’t your type. You liked pretentiousness and arrogance apparently. “Uh- Ewan… Give me a second.” He scrambled before walking to you. “I didn’t know you smoked. Uh- can I- can I get one?” He tried to find something in common with you. Your eyebrows raised, questioning him.

“Yeah- I don’t think the building allows me to smoke. I didn’t know you smoked either.” You said before pulling the pack out again. You pulled a cigarette out for him and your lighter. You were going to see if he actually knew what to do. It would tell you everything.

“Oh yeah- all the time. I actually can’t breathe half the time 'cause I love these things so much. Yea- I buy like a pack a day 'cause I finish them up so quickly” He tried to lie about his association with smoking. He held the cigarette in between his fingers and tried to light it like a joint. It told you everything.

“Greg, you’re supposed to light it in your mouth.” You informed him. He looked up, knowing he had just exposed himself. “Look- like this.” You showed him, putting the cigarette In his mouth and lighting it for him. “Now breathe it in.” You instructed. Greg misunderstood how much or how hard and began to cough viciously. He dropped the cigarette and curled up as he coughed loudly. You just sat and watched, giggling to yourself as you smoked your cigarette.

Ewan was amused as well. He just quietly laughed as he watched his idiot grandson embarrass himself. The group had left the building, Logan surprised to see the man to be there. Roman pat Greg on the back, looking at you confused about why he practically coughing up a lung. “All right, all right. Dramatic. Don’t cough on me. Yeah, that’s right just turn that way.” He said as he turned Greg around and lightly pushed him away. He didn’t like Greg. He thought Greg was a freeloader. Which he kind of was. Roman just viewed him as someone who was riding on the fact, he was somewhat related to them and was trying to find any way to make the kind of money they did. He leeched onto any family member who would let him. Which was Tom.

“Who the fuck is the crip keeper?” You asked Roman about Ewan. You had seen him talk to Logan. “His liberal snowflake brother.” Roman answered.

“Oh, good news. Uh- Eduard is here. I told him to fly in. He’s expecting you at a bar in an hour.” You broke the news. Roman was shocked at how stupid of a decision that was for Eduard. But he was happy enough to have it set up in the very lease.

“You’re the fucking best. God what a fucking moron. I could just take you right here in front of everyone.” Roman seemed to pump himself up. “Yeah-yeah. Go now.” You laughed, pushing him slightly. You both went your own separate ways for at least a couple of hours. You had a lot of stuff to do in the meantime. Which mostly consisted of you hanging out with Shiv as she seemed to be calling meeting after meeting to destroy Rhea. You had stayed out of it most of the time though.

Connor left the room completely upset before the rest left as well.

“What fucking pathetic brats…” Connor mumbled under his breathe. You looked up, wondering what had happened. Roman left soon. “Rome- what the fuck happened?” You asked him. “Why is Connor-?” you asked him.

“Eh, who actually gives a shit?” He shrugged.

Notes: Poor Connor.

Chapter 14

[from-the-clouds]

you know what kendall deserves his version of willa (with a happier ending) he can do his lewis and clark of sex manic episode thing with her, it starts as filling the void with sex and pushing shit away, she wanted some fun and the money wasn't a bad thing and doesn't find him to be as awful as she thought he could be.

she becomes super protective of him once she realizes what he's actually going through, doesn't let his family speak over him. None of that your kids aren't your real kids bullshit, all 'that's it we're doing something about it' attitude. she convinces him to go back to rehab and stay in therapy treatment (and she waits for him)

it goes from sex buddies to actual friendship to love.

she becomes his number 1 fan, she gets him into collecting records and investing into things he actually cares about. maybe he starts a label? or he funds one. he wants to patch up his relationship with his kids guess who's there ready to be there for him?? when kens guilt returns about the waiter, about the election, about his kids, about everything shes is there. if the jess publishing a book thing is an in universe thing and he gets to see himself from the outside, she is there.

she also comes from this hard background and has done tons of work to heal, so she's ready to be there for him. nobody has ever actually cared about him, and wasn't counting on that being the direction of the relationship so it takes him a while to realize this isn't just sex and money anymore.

he probably keeps thinking the only reason she stays is because well she likes his money, the more he likes her the more he pushes her away because he thinks it's for the best. nobody really needs to put up with him, she figures it out though.

she knows the cycle, she has lived the cycle. they don't have to be together anymore but she will not leave him, he breaks, it's love, it's real. it might not be forever but close enough, and it's real love.

_

Anyway I'm not a writer I'm just tired of the nihilism of people with kendall my man is happy and content in the future, he finds happiness again. He still has stewy who will be definitely investing on the label thing even if he says he won't work with ken ever again. ken funds stewys lube line (the wetter the better) in repayment.

sorry that i sent this to you but i needed it to be out there somewhere. love your Professor!Ken headcanons! hope you're having a great time on your vacations 💜

i totally could see ken ending up with a willa! or someone like him. there are some really good ken x reader fics that have this sort of dynamic, too, even if doesn't go exactly how you type it out here!

i think kendall could literally do anything with his money, a record label would be a great idea since he's so into music/art and pop culture stuff! also him dating someone younger would keep him 'hip' to everything so he would see that as a perk of seeing her.

and yes! i could see their relationship being sort of cyclic like the show. maybe he pushes her away when he gets too emotionally involved, but she sort of keeps coming back because she likes him too.

i understand why kendall's ending has to be seen as grim for the sake of the show, but i don't know that it's as grim as 'he's going to die' if that's how jesse wanted to end the show that's how he would've ended it, you know? like i think it's intentional kendall was kept alive, but he will probably find something else to be obsessive about eventually. and the cycle will keep repeating!! but its not all bad in my opinion.

[nesonkin]

Cassie Rose, the Old Builders and aging

We've all heard by now that MCSM doesn't have ages. It's why Eric refuses to spill them ages headcanons about the gang. Some characters look young, while others look old. I vaguely remember Eric (or someone else) say that characters in MCSM look the age that they feel they are. Hence, the Old Builders+the Old Order of the Stone look old.

The characters in this universe don't age the way we do. But they do age by appearance, as in this painting Harper looks much younger.

So, the concept of aging is not foreign to this world. It's just different from how we experience it.

Now, onto the White Crow*. I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge that Cassie Rose was likely one of the Old Builders, right? As suggested by the dialogue in the 8th episode:

If she really was one, it leaves us with a huge room for imagination as to why she's left and what her relationship with other old builders might have been like.

Cassie has always been one of my favorite non-main characters to dissect because there's always this feeling that she has more going on than she lets on. She's extremely paranoid. She's cruel and violent. She has serious trust issues, but knows too well how to exploit others' trust. And she's a trap master.

When you ask her to share the Flint and Steel, she assumes you're just going to stab her in the back. When Stampy says that everything could have been avoided if Cassie had just asked for help, it becomes clear how deep-rooted her issues actually are.

Knowing the Old Builders, I'm not even surprised she turned out this way in the end. If we go off Mevia's words, Cassie has always been a bit of a weirdo (not as bad as her current self). Growing White Pumpkins and making traps. Possibly scaring the shit out of others for fun.

Entering the speculation area, I have a feeling she was forced to leave by the Old Slimeballs when her unconventional behavior was no longer tolerated. Otto may have not even known about the real reasons Cassie left. Had Cassie left on her own accord, there's no way she wouldn't have brought a couple of enchanted Flint n Steel with her. It makes more sense that she was forced into leaving, trapping her in a world with two moons.

I can imagine it went something like this: a group of Old Builders went to the YouTuber world (no clue how to name it), during the ordeal Cassie was left alone while the rest of the OB left for the Portal Hallway ditching Cassie and closing the portal from outside (dunno if that's actually possible without breaking the portal in the hallway). Cassie realizes she was stabbed in the back by the people she trusted and spent the rest of her life trying to get back.

While the rest of the Old Builders continued to live and to thrive to the point of getting bored out of their minds, Cassie got stuck in a metaphorical limbo. She's obsessed with her past and can't move on. That's why she looks so much younger than other Old Builders. She can't age if she's mentally stuck in the past.

And with Jesse and co crashing her little murder party, I'm afraid her state has gotten even worse.

* White Crow - Russian idiom for a misfit. English analogue of a black sheep.

I hope you enjoyed this little writing piece I made. I was rewatching my ep6 playthrough, and it made me think about things. Furthermore, I don't claim that I've discovered anything with this post. I just wanted to ramble a bit.

[fifteensjukebox]

tagged by @amidalleia tysm!!💖

last song: winning by emily haines & the soft skeleton has been in my head and i have whatever a photographic memory but for music is called so i think it counts. i was trying to figure out the change in timing starting about a minute into the song and my memory wasn't good enough to figure it out, and i think the last song i actually listened to was wet blanket by metric (emily's band) in the car yesterday. what can i say i love her! (the update is that I tossed this post into my drafts earlier and i have now actually listened to winning and almost figured out what she's doing but i'll have to discuss with my music theory-knowing brother)

favourite color: turquoise/mint/teal/sage/cool amethysty purples/the denim blue VW car colour (my beloved first car was a vw beetle we called lulu so that colour is now lulu blue in my house à la dodie yellow)

currently watching/reading:

rewatching btvs and angel mid s4/s1 respectively while showing it to my mom and brother for the first time! it's taking ages but we're having the best time

gilmore girls - (late mid s3) first watch w my parents! there's so much i know from here and so much i don't but i know i love jess

grey's anatomy - watched s1-17 with my family a few years ago (begrudgingly at first bc i so did not want to watch a medical show. and sooo long! but it really is that good (sometimes)) & have been watching weekly as it airs since, but we just caught up on the first bit of the current season yesterday bc i didn't realize it was back. and i love the new class of interns so much we are SO BACK

not dead yet - the only show i'm currently watching by myself week to week as it airs and of course my favorite character is the white man i hate it here... i do love the women too though!!

doctor who 12th doctor rewatch but i stopped like a month ago in the middle of the episode before the cybermen plot starts bc it's just going to break my heart to lose bill for a third time. but i miss them! missy most of all so i will get to it soon

i'm not really reading anything at the moment but i have a couple audiobooks on hold at the library (yeah this is jenny's answer exactly but it applies!)

relationship status: single and i don't go out enough so i doubt it'll change anytime soon

sweet/savory/spicy: i want to say sweet bc i loooove sugar but i add salt to everything lately, i even added it to a rice krispie square the other day, so....

current obsessions:

also still nancy drew forever and always, but honestly i don't have a fandom hyperfixation atm! it's all about furniture shopping.... i'm looking for a small chair/stool for my bedroom desk, and a bigger table to go with my living room big chair so i can have my laptop/food/whatever else i want bc i seem to spend most of my time here

and emily haines/metric music (lately i haven't been listening to much me after 2007, but i love the more recent stuff just as much!

last thing you googled: something about the st vincent rock&roll hall of fame exhibit bc i'd seen a clip about it on someones story but i couldn't find the full video (still haven't)

no-pressure tags: @redheadedbrunette @apolloamy @godofsmallthings @jemhowling @acafemmeic @electrictouchfeaturingfalloutboy @coldnightairinmylungs & anyone else who wants to! i love these sm

[binary-not-found]

Katherine Marie Whistler looking for more excuses to walk all the way to the NCIS offices, she could have sent the document to Lucy's mailbox or sent it some other way, but my blondie decided to go to Lucy to give her a file with her apartment options 😁

Lucy's surprise when she realized that Kate was serious about helping her find a new apartment

I know I couldn't have been the only one watching this scene who yelled at Kate to let Lucy talk, she was going up and down about the options she had found for Lucy that she didn't stop for a second to think about anything else. Girl let your girlfriend talk!

And Lucy finally says it, let's talk first about Kate I know you know we already knew that what they both want is to move in together, and Lucy saying it takes Katherine by surprise, her face goes from surprise to a sigh almost of relief, as if she could finally say what she thinks without having to walk on eggshells, but her reaction is to not say anything, we could say that after not shutting up she finally ran out of words because obviously she didn't expect Lucy to say it just like that, let's go to Lucy's reaction

Not getting an immediate answer from Kate, she tries to divert the attention even using the word "kidding" followed by she doesn't want to force anything, she says it fast trying to pretend she didn't say anything and then we go back to Kate, letting a smile show up she mentions that she had also thought about it

I want to highlight the way Lucy's eyes - and her whole face - light up when she hears Kate say that they spend most nights together and that won't change any time soon.

And this is where Agent Whistler started speaking without thinking again

KATHERINE. MARIE. WHISTLER.

Is the financially responsible thing?!!?!?!?!!! That was the only thing you could think of?!?!?!!! Look, I'm not a fan of the expression 'useless lesbian' but in this scenario Kate is being very useless and the lesbian thing was already there

The what now?

And we should do it because it's rational

The way Jesse looks at Lucy and immediately looks at Kate looking for an answer towards what is happening now, or rather what did Kate do now, in the same way Kate looks at him knowing she said something wrong, almost asking him for help, and the way Lucy doesn't say anything just shakes her head making it clear she is about to explode or get very sad, Jesse understands and before leaving he looks back at Kate for a millisecond, as if he is still trying to figure out what is happening

And then it's time for Kate to run away from there too

She even takes one last look before she completely walks away from Lucy, just to make sure if she really did upset her, and she had

We don't know how the relationships they were in before were, and even the first time they tried to be together things went south because they didn't say things to each other, in this case they are both acting a certain way because they don't want to push each other, without realizing they are both acting like that and it's okay, it's going to be like that some times, they are both still learning to say things the way want, they are both still looking for the best words to say things, it's not about miscommunication, it's about two people still learning to say things without fear, even though they were thinking about moving they didn't want the other to feel pressured, so they tried to protect each other this way - it didn't work out the way either of them thought - but sometimes they are going to have to guide each other out of certain conflicts or misunderstandings and that's completely acceptable, because that's what growth is all about. Plus this scene cracked me up and I yelled at my screen more than once

2/3 episode 5 🍒

[anxiouspotatorants]

So I finally watched 6.08 in its entirety and of course I have my two cents on the (in)famous “WhY did you DROP out of YALE” speech:

From what I’ve gathered, some people seem to think Jess saved Rory with that speech and that there was no way she was going back to Yale without it. I’ve also seen mutterings about how Jess’ speech was rude and presumptous and that Rory would have gone back regardless of Jess’ presence. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle.

There’s no denying that things in the dropout life were piling up for Rory. Moving in to the main house had her dealing with Emily’s surveillance in full force, she was spending most of her time organizing events she had no interest in and driving her drunk boyfriend and his drunk friends home in the night, and she was shown to miss academic life several times. Richard and Emily had started fighting over whether they had taken the right path for getting Rory back into Yale, and Lorelai insisted that Rory would find her way eventually. Something was going to happen at some point.

But returning to Yale wasn’t guaranteed. Not because I think Jess was the only one who could get her back to Yale specifically, but because re-enrolling was a time-sensitive issue. Without someone to give her some kind of rant, Rory could very well have sunk deeper into a hedonistic route with Logan, or waited too long for re-enrollment and had to apply elsewhere. She’d still get somewhere, but it would take significantly more time.

So she needed someone to shake her furiously for two minutes begging her to figure out what she wanted to do. In theory, that person could be any significant character on the show, but when you add in context, the list narrows down a lot: 

We were shown multiple times that Lorelai wasn’t going to be the person because they were at a test of their relationship and Rory was doubting her mother’s judgement.

Luke wasn’t going to do anything like that without Lorelai’s OK.

Richard and Emily would only be able to convince Rory with financial extortion, and that would ruin the relationship they fought so hard to keep with Rory.

While Logan was her boyfriend at the time, he was also the person who had known her for the least amount of time. He would also have been accused of hypocricy by Rory due to how he probably would’ve dropped out if he could too (or at least acted like it during season 5 and early season 6).

Paris’ opinions on Rory’s life decisions tend to be written as jokes, so even if what she said made sense, Rory probably wouldn’t have taken it seriously. At best, Paris’ words could become support to an argument made by someone else.

While Lane could’ve been an interesting choice (especially since she’s Rory’s oldest friend and arguably knows her in ways not even Lorelai or any of the boyfriends do), she’s never established as truly questioning of Rory’s life decisions. The only real fight they have is over Rory spending too much time with Dean in season 1, but other than that Lane tends to support Rory with any decision she makes.

Dean had kind of lost any sway he had with Rory by the final breakup. Him warning Rory over half a season before she actually dropped out would’ve been possessive (considering he could only warn her about Logan and the LDB), and the breakup showed that he essentially gave up on fitting into the elder Gilmore world or helping Rory make her own.

Which leaves us with Jess. There are multiple reasons why Jess ends up working. The first is the fact that they haven’t seen each other in ages. While everyone else has seen the slow descent, Jess comes in having last seen Rory doing just fine at Yale and getting close with Dean again. He’s missed a lot, and realizing that helps Rory understand just how much she’s changed. Second: he comes back improved. A lot of people have already pointed this out, but Jess actually becoming a writer and making something out of himself essentially proves to Rory that she was right about something everyone else that she was wrong about. It also shows her that it’s possible to come out of the lowest lows up to doing something you love. And finally: Jess has a history of telling things like they are. He demanded clarification at the start of season 3 when Rory still dated Dean after their kiss. He had multiple complex fights with Luke. And he also knew how to be supportive without being a blind cheerleader (see: the car scene in season 2). Rory has known Jess long enough to understand that he isn’t trying to be malicious, and also long enough to know that he does actually know her. It’s not so much that he knows her better than everyone else as much as the combination of how close they once were, how time shows the shifts in her life, and how Jess’ glow up can inspire her.

[purplebass]

Five - Chain of Thorns What If? Fic

This is my what if? scenario of what would have happened in Chain of Thorns chapter 26 if somebody else had chased after Tatiana. Can't say much here in case somebody hasn't read the book. This one shot is told from three POVs (Lucie, Grace, Jesse). Warning: Light descriptions of wounds/blood. Thanks to @stabbydragon because your post inspired this fic :) Words: 1,419

Read on A03 ✨

Lucie didn’t know how much she could still hold on. Her legs already gave out, the hard stone of the stairs behind her the only thing keeping her back upright. 

“You are nothing to me,” Rupert’s ghost said, and Tatiana screamed in despair. That urged the Watchers to leave the scene, leaving the woman all by herself. 

Tatiana looked behind her with displeasure and Lucie realized she wanted to flee. “Close the gate,” she said to Rupert’s ghost, and he obliged, moving in front of the gate as if he were a statue and not a ghost. She didn’t know if it would work, but she tried. “Sorry,” she told him, but he didn’t answer. 

“You won’t keep me here, girl,” Tatiana hissed at Lucie. “You will pay today. You and your friends. You ruined my revenge plan!” she cried, and tried to open the gates, but Rupert didn’t move an inch. “You ruined my relationship with my husband and with my son, you ruined me!”

“No one ruined you but yourself,” Rupert said solemnly. Tatiana turned to him, and Lucie could only see her back now. Grace was at the end of the stairs, looking awestruck to do anything. “You began ruining yourself when you chose revenge, Tatiana.”

“I chose revenge for you!” Tatiana raised her voice. Jesse had advanced until the Blackthorn sword was grazing her neck, but she didn’t seem to mind. Didn’t seem to believe her son could ever hurt her. She offered him a glance laced with scorn. “I chose revenge for our family! So that we could be together again.”

“You didn’t just use and ruin my son, you also manipulated an innocent girl to do your bidding. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself, Tatiana?” Rupert asked coldly. Lucie felt her grip on him weaken, but tried to hold on. It wasn’t over yet. “You claim you did it for our sake, but you did it because you are selfish.”

Lucie was too focused on Rupert to catch Grace, her light dress billowing behind her, getting close to the three of them by the gate. She brandished a knife, her hand unsteady and trembling even from her position on the stairs, until just a few steps separated the weapon from her face. Lucie didn’t know if it was because of the bitter cold or because she was scared or both. She wasn’t sure where she found the weapon. She wanted to say something, to call her back where she was safe, but she couldn’t. She felt too strained, too weak. 

“Grace,” she said in a sob, “Jesse,” and then her world went black. 

*

Tatiana opened her mouth to protest, but a bitter laugh came out of it. “I can’t believe this is how you are thanking me, Grace,” the woman said. “This is what I get for giving you all. Money, clothes, jewelry,” she laughed deviously, mocking her. “You would have been a beggar if it wasn’t for me, silly girl. You shouldn’t threaten me with a knife, you should bow at my feet.” Tatiana also glanced at her son when she said that, but he ignored her, his sword still pointing at her chest.

Grace tried not to tremble too much, the cold biting at her cheeks and her bare feet. She was stronger than this. She was stronger than the cold. She was stronger than her mother. “Better a beggar than a puppet,” she said firmly. “I should threaten you with more than a knife, I should threaten you with the sword you said was yours by right.”

“It doesn’t matter what you threaten me with, Grace,” she said her name as if it was a curse.  “If the blow doesn’t land.”

Tatiana’s laugh filled the air and chilled Grace to the bone. She would not be afraid, not again. 

Not – One. “This is for Jesse.”. 

Two. “This is for me.” 

Three. “This is for the Lightwood family.” 

Four. “This is for the Herondale family.”

Five. “This is for –”

“Grace,” Jesse said, alarmed, finding his voice amidst the shock, unable to move a hand to stop his sister. Unwilling to stop his sister. He glanced at the ghost who used to be his father, who was still his father, somehow, but Rupert stayed silent, his eyes trained on Tatiana, his mouth a thin line. If he had spoken, he would’ve probably said she deserved it. And she did. Even Jesse knew.

Grace looked at her left hand, the hand where her voyance rune stood out on her pale skin, and where her shaking fingers still held the knife. The knife she had twisted into Tatiana’s chest the same way that woman had fed poison in her heart for all those years. This time, she wouldn’t be the one bleeding as that woman watched her writhe in pain because of the things she forced her to do. She would be the one watching her suffer.

She blinked and tried to register what she had done. She tried to cover the sound of her heart hammering in her chest and ears. She felt as if somebody had cracked an egg open on her head, or worse. She couldn’t describe it. She just blinked at her hand. Her hand now glittered with blood. Tatiana’s blood. A monster’s blood. The knife clattered to the ground, but it didn’t make much noise, the sound muffled by Grace’s heartbeats thundering in her ears.

“A dagger to my heart,” Tatiana coughed, bringing Grace’s attention back to her. She was clutching her chest, her body slumped to the floor, Jesse still keeping the Blackthorn sword close to his mother’s throat. “I never thought you would do it,” she was finding it hard to breathe. “My –” she hissed. Another cough. More blood. “You will have to live with this,” she said lastly, her eyes moving from Grace to Jesse, astonishment making her look even older than she was. 

Until she wasn’t anymore. Dead. Gone.

Grace exhaled a sigh of relief, and let her tears wash away the blood from her dirty hands.

*

When Jesse realized that Grace aimed to strike, he didn’t think. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop. The knife was already in Tatiana’s chest when he registered that Rupert was gone, and disappeared in front of the gate. Didn’t see when Grace twisted it in the flesh as if trying to make a hole where Tatiana’s heart was supposed to be. Didn’t witness when Tatiana’s blood stained her old and worn dress a second time, a third, a fourth, a fifth. Didn’t see her face was pale. 

Tatiana met his eyes before she exhaled her dying breath, and it reminded him of the night he died. He had tossed in his bed, as Grace held his hand and dried the sweat from his forehead. Perhaps it was childish to want his mother by his bed at his age, but he felt helpless. As he felt life abandoning his limbs, not once did his mother cross the threshold of his room to check on him. To tell him words of comfort. To say goodbye. After he returned, he thought maybe Tatiana had felt too broken to witness another person she loved dying before her eyes, but when he understood it was all meant to be a plan, that they were all pawns she was moving on the board for the sake of revenge, he saw the situation from what it was. 

His mother did not care about him, nor Grace. She only cared about them as a means to her stupid revenge. 

And now she was dead. 

Jesse didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t know what he should feel. He wasn’t sure he would feel anything aside from rage. Displeasure. Hatred. Relief.

He put his hands gently around Grace’s shoulders as life went out of Tatiana’s eyes and her head lolled forward and her body sank to the ground. Lifeless, like a puppet. 

Grace’s hands shook along with her frame. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She was still in shock. She let Jesse engulf her in an embrace, and buried her head and her hands in his chest, marking his white shirt with blood. “It’s over,” she muttered quietly, almost as if she didn’t want to say out loud, as if she wasn’t sure it was real.

Her brother caressed the back of her head, but he didn’t weep. “Yes,” he answered, even though he knew it wasn’t really. “Yes,” he echoed, still unable to believe it. 

*

Footnotes: When I decided to write this quick fic, I debated about this and I honestly thought about different options (in reverse lmao).

Option 4 was Rupert asking Lucie to command him to kill Tatiana, even though this would've ensued tough conversations between Lucie and Jesse because after Rupert disappears, she even wonders if she did right calling him there because she is afraid Jesse might be upset. If Rupert had killed Tati, it would've been satisfying but Lucie giving the command would've been unsettling, maybe? And I didn't want to delve into that but who knows, I may also do that someday. After all, it's fan fiction and not canon. XD

Option 3 was Lucie herself, but ofc Rupert had to disappear because we know that Lucie stayed rooted to the spot where she was because keeping Rupert there drained her energy, thus she couldn't go after Tatiana after she fled. Still a worth option, though, it would've also opened a lot of conversations with Jesse but anyway --

Before CoT came out, I thought that the only people who HAD to kill Tatiana were Grace or Jesse. I quickly brushed off Jesse (Option 2) because, as I already wrote in my other fic "For the ghost that I used to be", I believe he would want Tatiana to rot in jail until the rest of her days. Grace was my Option 1. She seemed the best option and I would've loved to see this, that's why I ended up choosing her. It makes more sense and it satisfies me more seeing her kill her manipulator and abuser.

Last, but not last: I decided to have Lucie faint at the end of her POV because I suppose that's what would've happened if Rupert didn't disappear. She is fine, don't you worry! I was planning to write a bonus scene to insert later, after Jesse and Grace realize Lucie collapsed (because my ghostwriter heart begs me to write it lol). Tell me if you would be interested in reading :)