#and it be more of a Jess realizing she wants something else from a relationship

[sufferingbooknerd]

Some of yall need to realize that Ellie’s having so much more of a reaction Joel’s death than you realize…the only healthy thing she’s done about her grief is play guitar again but everything else?

Immediately leaving in the night after she has a way out with Dina, not to mention she was even going to go alone and even more ill prepared even before that?

That’s a need to rectify how she’s been feeling as soon as possible because it’s been eating her up for three goddamn months that she didn’t/couldn’t do anything

Immediately assuming Abby’s group killed those dead Seraphites in the forest with NO evidence?

She’s looking for even more reason to justify what she wants to do to these people, aside from them killing her adoptive father (which she inadvertently got called selfish for wanting at the council meeting and by the votes result) ‘if they’re even worse than I thought before I’m even more right in killing them’

Immediately wanting to go out after them when seeing the clearly labeled tv station in broad daylight?

Same as her packing immediately, they’re not making Ellie seem stupid, she’s so clouded by vengeance that it’s impeding her rational thought (the show itself before she starts making these decisions gives you an explanation for her actions in her conversation with Jesse pre council meeting “right cause I’m stupid” “cause you’re angry”)

Having sex with Dina and immediately jumping head first into a relationship and future family?

That’s also a response to everything she’s been going through, she needs something to cling to like a fucking life raft and she found it. It feels kinda rushed? It’s two traumatized teenagers making an arguably bad decision to get serious while still seeking out the killers of a man they both loved…it’s supposed to

[drefear]

‘Nasty’ By Russ

Summary: Miguel finds something out about you through your recent music choices.

TW: praise, jealousy, smut, praise p in v fantasy, masturbation

You and Miguel started dating fairly recently, and he was so happy about it. He told Jess by accident while discussing you beating up an anomaly, and he just laughed and said ‘I knew it.’

His heart explodes when you’re around and can’t help but see stars.

You’re sitting with Jess and Gwen when he is about to ask you about a report you filed when he hears a conversation he was not prepared for.

“I never even knew he existed.” Gwen said to you, making you laugh.

“Oh, she loves him. It’s almost obsessive.” Jess emphasizes and you blush, rolling your eyes.

“I just- I like- it’s like-“ you stutter and Gwen nods.

“I get it, he’s kinda hot and he’s obviously got some skills, so imagining what he could actually do in bed is totally fair.” That was it, Jess’s words made Miguel’s blood boil. Who else were you trying to sleep with?

His eyes perked up as he walked away and passed you to his office area. You two weren’t in a committed relationship, he had no claim over who you thought about or saw when you weren’t with him, yet it made his blood boil and tension appear between his shoulder blades. He’d long forgotten about the question he was going to ask you about as he summoned you to where he was.

You two were mature adults, you could discuss your feelings without being childish and assuming the worst. Plus, Miguel technically already knew the answer to the question, or so he thought.

You walked up with a bounce before seeing the stress between his eyebrows and frowning gently, something he disliked on that beautiful face of yours. “What’s wrong?” You spoke softly and placed a hand on his arm.

“I need to ask you something and I don’t want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable, but I just need to know the truth.” He prefaced and you felt a knot of anxiety form in your gut. “Are you seeing anyone else?” He searched his eyes over your features and found nothing to give away your thoughts until a bright smile formed on your lips and you couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “This isn’t funny.” He huffed like a petulant child, which made you giggle more.

“Miguel O’Hara, are you jealous?” You teased and poked his bicep, making his nose twitch in self awareness which turned into embarrassment. “No, I’m not seeing anyone else. Who could compare to you?” You smiled wider and slid your hand up his arm to his shoulder, quickly wrapping your arms around his neck. His hand fell to your hip and he sighed happily at your touch, but confusion was still evident in his expression. He hummed and you smirked, “Are you? Because if so, I’ll fight her for ya.” You teased and he let out an exasperated chuckle.

“No, not at all. I’m all yours, now dame un besita.” He demanded and you obliged, giving him a soft and sensual kiss.

Letting go of him, you walked towards the door, “How about we hang out tonight? Stay in and order tacos?” You mused and he nodded, sitting back and sighing. You still felt like something was wrong, but you’d discuss that later when you two were alone and could focus without the hovering threat of work surrounding you.

Once you were gone, Miguel instructed Lyla to dig into you and find any other man you could be seeing. Once your glow faded from his presence, the idea hit him hard like a punch to the chest. You’d just lied to him, to his face, and with a smile.

Never once while dating you had he gotten the impression that you were a liar. Actually, he’d found that sometimes you were too honest, so this was more than shocking to him.

He was so focused on some of the videos Lyla had been finding that he didn’t even hear Jess approach from behind him and start asking questions.

“Earth to O’Hara!” Her hand waved in front of his hand and he snapped his eyes to her, relaxing once he realized who it was. “What’s got you so zoned out?” She peaked over his shoulders to see the videos of you being flirted with in a coffee shop, then sighing in disappointment. “Stalking? Really?”

“She lied to me.” He deadpanned and swiped to another video, frustration setting on his lips.

“About what?” Jess inquired in surprise and he glared at the pregnant woman to his side.

“You already know, don’t play dumb.” He hissed, then gained a cold glare from Jessica, “I heard you talking with her and Gwen about another guy in the cafeteria earlier.”

“Another guy?” Jess gapped and then doubled over, laughing so hard she felt tears forming. “You are so stupid sometimes!” She choked out.

“Que?” He flashed an angry expression, bewildered at her name calling.

“That wasn’t about a guy she met, it was about some singer she was listening to. He released a song in her universe and she’s all hot from the lyrics.” She explained, smiling still. “You were worried about her fucking around with some other dude? No, she was talking about how she was imagining you.” She waved her hand and turned to leave, “It’s called Nasty by Ross, by the way. Give it a listen, if you want to know what she likes.” She let out a few more laughs before shutting the door behind her, leaving Miguel speechless.

His hands flew to his keyboard without a second to spare and he lowered the speakers. What did she mean by hot?

As the chorus rang out quietly, he realized what she meant.

Oh.

His tongue pressed to the roof of his mouth as the words made his imagination come to life.

“Show me where you wanna take it

Grab the headboard, hold on tight

I think we 'bout to break it”

His eyes widened as he felt himself twitch against his suit, the technologically woven fabric straining against his half hard erection.

You liked this…?

He had touched himself to the thought of you before, but he never imagined if you’d been into anything specific. You came off as a girl who liked things simple, and for lack of a better word, vanilla. He thought you’d prefer missionary and soft “oh god” moans, nothing too drastic. Something he’d feared was scaring you away with his fantasies of biting you and drilling into you hard on his kitchen counter, or fucking you over his balcony.

So this was a very welcomed change.

His head ran wild with the ideas of what you’d want him to do. Listening to how this singer directed the song, it seemed like you wanted someone dominant with a gentle touch, you wanted to hear how good you could make him feel, you wanted him to give you a display of his strength while still keeping a calm head and fucking you until you fell apart on him. Soft, but firm.

He couldn’t help but inwardly break a bit to the visualization that formed behind his eyes, your delicate fingers toying with your clit as he watched, face creased as your nose scrunched from the tension you’d started in yourself, grinding into your cute little hands as his slowly guided his hand up and down the shaft of his dick.

He’d bend down just to flick his tongue against you. Just once. Just a tease, a taste, a smell.

God, how he wanted to smell that pussy. To inhale your scent until he was completely overwhelmed and covered by it, then moving to shove his tongue into your aching core and retracting it.

He wanted to watch you clench and grip around nothing, your body practically calling out to him without making a sound.

Miguel wanted to shove his tongue so deep inside you that you’d think it had a mind of its own.

His hand reached out to his desk as he sat down in a chair he almost never even used, letting the blue around his groin dissipate and freeing his cock as it slapped against his abdomen. His fingers pressed a few buttons to close his doors and have his watch on ‘do not disturb mode.’

“She said, "Spank me, that's the only way I learn"

I said, "Okay, good girl, good girl"

His tongue licked his lips as he thought of you from behind, face in his pillows as he caressed his hands up your ass, then planted a smack against your smooth skin. He’d watch the muscle jiggle and redden from the impact of his slap, admiring the soft mewls you’d make for him. Words fell from his mouth like dripping honey.

“That’s it, good girl, buena niña,” He mumbled and let out a relaxed sigh.

“I know everyone wants a pretty girl like you

You look so good when you put me inside you

Listen

There ain't nothin' like that moan when the tip's in

Good God

Look at you, you're doin' such a good job”

The song painted a vivid picture for him about how you wanted him to treat you, to love you. He inhaled sharply as he saw the image of your ass in the air, pussy fully exposed for him as he nestled the head of his cock against your folds and rubbed against you a few times, gathering your sticky mess to soak him before pushing in just the tip. The hiss he let out when he saw this in his head was almost pornographic, groaning as he rutted into the fist he didn’t know that he wrapped around his cock. More aware now, he spit into his palm and continued rubbing himself as he completely indulged. His mind continued its dreams of you, gripping his headboard as he pushed into you and bent down so your back was completely pressed to his chest, his lips kissing the underside of your jaw and whispering in your ear, whispers he didn’t know he was speaking out loud.

“Taking my cock so good, mi amor, such a perfect cunt for me to sink into, like a champ.” He growled and felt his lips twitch, so close to cumming at the idea of you pushing backwards and wanting to take more of him.

“Girl you're mine now, you were made for me

Cum for me baby, you don't gotta wait for me,”

Miguel’s fangs dug into his bottom lip as he tried to muffle his loud animalistic sounds, thinking about you so asking and tightening around his cock, fucking your through your orgasm as he watched a creamy ring form around his dick. The vision made his saliva pool on his tongue and he swallowed it, along with his words.

“Te ves tan hermosa así, solo para mí.” He grunted in Spanish and felt the tension growing in his dick, his orgasm briefly blinding him as ropes of cum shot from his cock, more than usual as he heaved in heavy pants.

You were so fucking beautiful and as he opened his eyes again, his spent still dripping down his own abdomen, his sight caught the current video feed of you.

You, hiding in a corner as you listened with your ear pressed against his office wall and your hand in your suit as you touched yourself.

“No fucking way.” He whispered to himself, catching his breath once more. Miguel looked around and had an idea. Poking his watch a bit, he called you.

“Y-yes?” Your voice was shaky, which he smiled at darkly.

“I need you to bring me some towels. I had a spill in my office.” He spoke, leaning back and watching the cameras ss your body shook and he could hear you gasping through your receiver.

“Be there soon…” you whimpered and he just laughed.

“Just get here quick, so I can replace that hand in your pants with my face, ok pretty girl?” His voice dropped and you let out a moan.

“Y-yes…!” You nodded frantically and swung to get what he needed, making him smile as he leaned back once more in his chair.

Part 2

[limerence-17]

Hey lovely! So glad I saw your requests open, I've had an idea floating around in my mind for a while now if you're up for it ♡

jealous!Joel X younger!reader teehee 👉👈 Joel's been horny for you for a while but he won't do anything about it... Until he sees Jesse being all handsy and flirty over you in public, and you let him because you knew he was watching. Joel can't take it anymore and shows you what a real man can do ✨

xx

dancin' for the devil

warnings: 18+ mdni age gap (it’s discussed,) joel is super awkward (until he isn’t,) oral sex fem receiving, unprotected sex (doggystyle,) drinking (of age!!,) reader is going through a breakup

word count: 3.5k

a/n: thank u for this request lovely! I'm obsessed with the idea of jealous joel holllyyyy. he's the exact type of guy who would have those thoughts but wouldn't know how to verbalize them and then FINALLY when he sees you get with someone else he just can't control himself. i could visualize this so vividly that I immediately had to start writing and this kinda just flowed out of me so here u go!! this is not really edited btw!!

••••••

“You know what, I think I’ll take one more,” you said, grinning ear to ear as you ran a hand over your no longer neatly french braided hair.

“Oh so it’s that kinda night huh?” Dina asked, side by side of you at the bar. You nodded, downing the next one just as quickly.

You slammed the shot glass back down on the counter and let out a short yell, “Whoo!”

You’d only been single for about two weeks, but having broken up with your boyfriend of three years made you realize two things: life was too short to not do what you wanted to do and you needed to spend more time with friends.

“You’re not planning on going home anytime soon?” You asked Dina, a little worried of the eventual moment you’d have to go back to your empty house, to nothing but the sound of Jackson crickets and creaks in the floor. You dreaded the moment your head would hit the pillow and you’d suddenly be overcome with nostalgia. The drinking was how you numbed the pain of missing him, and the dancing was how you curbed the need to be touched.

The funniest part of it all was that towards the end, you didn’t even love him. Hell, you hardly even liked him. He was a year younger than you, only 25, and was as sweet as honey. But the two of you had gotten into a routine.

You both would go on patrols, come home for dinner and he’d lay down on the couch while he’d tell you all about his day. But eventually he stopped asking about yours, and the two of you had stopped sleeping together. One morning you woke up and it just dawned over you. You’d always care about him, but you didn’t want to be his person, his wife, his anything.

You just wanted to be.

Yes, you had ended the relationship. And the worst part of it all? You had developed a ridiculous crush on the man who lead your patrol groups in Jackson. Joel Miller, who was about twenty five years older than you, and nothing but a complete ass to you. For some reason, you’d been thinking about him more than your ex.

Between not feeling the spark towards your ex anymore, and being more excited at the thought of seeing Joel fucking Miller. You knew you made the right decision to breakup with him. You just weren’t sure where your love life would be headed to next.

It was silly truthfully. You knew this could never go anywhere, but you couldn’t help but feel your stomach flip anytime you heard his gruff voice walking down the road with his horse.

He was just eye candy for you, but tonight you needed something real. You needed someone to touch you. To remind you just how desirable you truly were.

“Dina please come dance with me,” you whined like a little kid, holding Dina’s hands and swaying them back and forth.

Dina let out a low chuckle, avoiding eye contact, “Absolutely not I am so not on your level,” she chuckled. But it was then that the mood of the band changed. From an upbeat folk song to a slow country ballad.

You and Dina both looked at eachother and burst into laughter. Dina was practically about to yank you further away from the dance floor when just then Jesse had slid up beside you two. He gave Dina a small smile, she blushed like a little girl and you couldn’t help but notice. It was then that Jesse turned back over to you, swallowing hard. He wiped his palm on his jeans and reached it out towards you.

You gave him a puzzled look, drawing out a low “Uhh…”

Jesse’s eyes widened, almost as if he asked the question in his head but not out loud.

“Wanna dance with me?” He asked, hardly giving you a moment to respond before making another statement.

“You look… real beautiful,” he said, this time his tone was lower and his eyes were meeting yours. You went to look back at Dina, but she’d started to slowly walk backwards until she could politely walk far enough to give you two some space.

You looked around the room, noticing how others were joining the dance floor and you looked back at Jesse. He was tall, really tall, and for the state of the world in Jackson he smelt strangely good? Like laundry detergent and rain? He was decently handsome and truth be told? It wasn’t like you were taken anymore. It also wasn’t like Joel Miller was going to take a liking to you anytime soon. You took his hand, and slowly guided him to the dance floor.

Smiling, you could tell just how giddy Jesse was, unsure where to put his hands. But you wrapped yours around the back of his neck and guided his onto your waist. You weren’t sure if it was the whiskey or your confidence, but you needed more. Not Jesse, just more of a man’s touch.

You swayed back and forth until you leaned up and whispered into his ear, his cheeks glowing beat red from your words, “You can move your hands down,” you flirted.

Jesse’s hand hesitated, but he eventually cupped your ass quickly and moved into back to rest softly against the base of your back. The feeling was nice, decent enough you’d supposed.

But when you looked up from having your face tucked into the nook of his shoulder that’s when you saw it.

Joel Miller.

He was standing just inside the Tipsy Bison’s wide entrance, near the door. His body was half in the shadow of the main lights, but noticeable enough. His one hand holding a glass of something dark, the other tucked into his jacket. He wasn’t talking to anyone. Wasn’t even moving. Wasn’t pretending to look anywhere else.

He’d always been nothing but stern with you, if that. When he wasn’t being stern he wasn’t acknowledging you. But this time was different, this time you felt like he’d been watching you this whole entire time. It was almost enough to make you sober up, almost.

You felt your cheeks go hot, and your chest tightened up. The lack of oxygen in the room was now overbearing and resting your face on Jesse’s shoulder no longer felt comfortable, but claustrophobic. Between thinking about your ex and what you did, Jesse’s hands all over you and now Joel’s eyes, you were sure you were about to have a panic attack. You pulled away and looked up at Jesse. He raised his eyebrow, brushing his fingers over your shoulder.

“Everything alright?” He asked, a hint of genuine concern in his voice.

You half expected Joel to be looking somewhere else by now, but when you looked over Jesse’s shoulder, Joel was still standing there watching. Jesus it felt like it was only you two in the room.

Joel licked his lips, crossed his arms the same way he did if he was pissed at you for something you did on patrol. His gaze shifted from your eyes to Jesse’s hands on your waist. His hand ran over his nose ever so slightly, but his gaze was still fixated on you.

“I think I need some air,” you said, stumbling a little backwards as you removed yourself from Jesse’s arms. But it wasn’t from the drinking.

“Oh,” Jesse started, clearly confused by your antics. “I can come with you?”

“No!” You said, a lot louder and quicker than you anticipated.

You cleared your throat, and gave him a small smile, touching his shoulder gently, “Too many shots is all,” you replied, trying to compose yourself.

Jesse nodded, although you could tell he wasn’t too sure. You paced quickly through the Tipsy Bison, heading out the side entrance. You could practically feel Joel’s eyes on you until you finally made it outside. The door slammed shut behind you and you leaned against the building wall, taking deep breaths trying to collect yourself.

Until you heard the door open beside you only to see Joel standing there, arms now casually resting in both jacket pockets as he met your gaze.

“If you’ve come to lecture me I’m not in the mood,” you replied. This was the usual banter you two had, nothing too serious, but stern enough.

“Didn’t take you as the slow dancin’ type,” Joel replied, his voice low and gruff. He leaned against the outside wall beside you, turning to face you every now and then.

You scoffed, “I don’t think I ever was until tonight.”

“Is that why you let that Jesse fellow have his hands all over you?”

You felt your cheeks go hot, and you stumbled over your words.

“I didn’t- that wasn’t- Jesse’s just a friend,” you replied.

Joel raised an eyebrow, pushing himself slightly off the wall so that he could face you better, “Friend huh?”

You nodded, scoffing as if you were trying to make yourself believe your words. But Joel clearly saw right through you.

“Can’t say I ever had a friend grab my ass like that,” he said. The way he said that sounded so casual, and you weren’t sure if he was just annoyed, or flirting.

“Jesus… were you watching us the entire time?” You crossed your arms now, perking yourself off the wall to face him back.

“Can’t help but notice these sort of things, ain’t like you two were being subtle or nothin’.” Joel’s hand moved to his lips as he ran his thumb over them.

“You drunk?” Joel asked. There was something about the way he asked, the way he presented himself that made you feel like you couldn’t lie to him. It was the way he carried himself.

“Was trying to be, sobered up pretty quick after seeing you watching me like a hawk from inside.” You let out a chuckle, but Joel didn’t laugh. Nothing about this was funny to him.

“Ain’t you just got out of a relationship? With that… hell was that kid's name?” Joel asked gruffly.

It pissed you off that after a few years of you being on patrols with Joel, he never even bothered to learn the name of the guy you were dating.

“Matt…” you muttered, frowning. “I broke up with him two weeks ago.”

Joel was clearly becoming agitated, crossing his arms as he faced you, “You think dancin’ with boys who ain’t gonna want you the next morning is the way to go about this? Trust me I’ve been there… just makes it worse,” he replied.

You kicked at the rocks on the ground, avoiding eye contact, “Dunno… but it sure as hell helps me to forget why I broke up with him in the first place,” you muttered.

“Oh yeah?” Joel’s arms were still crossed firmly, as he faced you with his eyebrows raised, “And why’s that?”

You looked at him for a moment, taking in his appearance, the way his hair flopped down perfectly and highlighted his features. His facial hair had salt and pepper sprinkled throughout, and his hands were large and worn. But what drove you crazy was how he smelt. It was far more masculine than Jesse. Joel smelt like woodshop, and pine needles.

You sighed, placing your face into the palm of your hands, sighing before you responded.

“Because I couldn’t stop thinking about somebody else, you finally muttered out loud.

Joel didn’t speak, he just kept his gaze on you. This time his eyes softened.

You continued, “But it wasn’t just that. I fell out of love with Matt a long time ago, I knew that…” you sighed, taking a deep breath looking up into the night stars as you carried on. “I just didn’t realize it completely until I developed feelings for this person, until I was thinking about them like all the fucking time.”

The silence just stayed there between you two, as if you both had to comprehend what was just said.

“Come on Joel say something, you followed me all this way out here, don’t make me sound like a complete asshole. I already feel like one anyway…”

Joel shook his head, placing his hands into his pockets, running his tongue across the inside of his cheek.

“You ain’t an asshole,” Joel said, his voice was a lot quieter now, practically a whisper. “Not for that.”

“And I’m sorry for judging you for grinding on Jesse or whatever it was you two were doin’.”

You let out a soft laugh, grinning before tugging at your ear gently.

“Could’ve fooled me,” you replied, looking at his eyes, those big brown doe eyes.

He didn’t answer, not a first. It took Joel a moment to collect himself, shuffling awkwardly. You could tell he wanted to say something, but usually he reverted to something cold and you half expected that.

“I get it,” he began. “Look… sometimes we end up with people we think we love cause they see us and all, but then we get stuck. Cause we don’t wanna hurt em’, don’t wanna be cruel. But you shouldn’t do that cause…”

You nodded, your eyebrows creased as your encouraged him to keep talking.

“Cause there’s someone else,” you said, nodding to remind yourself that what you did was the right thing. “Someone who’s gonna make me feel more alive than ever.”

Joel didn’t move, he didn’t flinch or shuffle this time. He just studied you.

“Sounds like you already know,” he said, voice rough. “About who you want instead of Matt… instead of Jesse touchin’ you with his hands like that…”

You gave a dry laugh, unsure of whether or not Joel was just being protective. “Doubt it, cause I doubt he feels the same way bout me.”

Joel took a step closer, closing in the space between the two of you, “Ain’t no way for you to know that for sure.”

“Maybe he does.”

“Joel…” you said, your voice barely a whisper as he stepped even closer, his hand brushing against your bare arm.

“Look I ain’t good at this. I know I haven’t been the nicest and all but seein’ you with Jesse tonight… made me realize somethin’.” You inhaled sharply, still mesmerized by the feeling of his calloused fingers against your arm.

You tried to speak, but Joel shushed you, practically achingly as he moved his hands to cup your cheek.

“I know I’m older and all, and I understand if you don’t wanna be with a man like me, I know it’s too soon. But babygirl, I think about you all the damn time,” Joel said, and you felt your heart leap at those words.

You sucked in a breath, wanting to pinch yourself to find out if this was really happening at all.

“I know I’m not your man, I don’t deserve nothin’ and I understand if you’re not interested, but I wanna be the one you take home tonight. I wanna show you what it’s like to be wanted, really wanted.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“Shit… I’ve said too much haven’t I?” But you reached out and cupped his face.

You could feel the strain in his voice, how badly he’s wanted to say this to you for God knows how long.

“Take me home Joel,” you replied softly, running your hands across his cheek.

You smiled, as you took his hand, and walked down the sidewalk, side by side, hardly making eye contact with each other the whole way until you reached your porch. You both stepped inside through the front door and before you could say anything, Joel had grabbed you by the waist and pulled into a kiss- deep, aching for more. He let out a loud groan as he exhaled before kissing you once more. You hands naturally gravitated to run through his hair as he gripped his large hand across the bottom of your back, slipping it underneath your shirt. His touch was warm and you couldn’t help but feel so at peace, like this was where you were supposed to be this entire time.

Joel ripped his coat off between kisses, and throughout the moans and heavy breathing of each kiss, he pushed you against the closet door, now pulling away. His lips were pouty and red, his eyes were dark and locked onto your face.

“Bet you ain’t ever been touched properly have you? Never been fucked like the good girl you are?”

Your hands moved to touch his arms, but to your surprise he pinned them above your head, giving you that cold Joel stare you knew oh so well.

“That was a question babygirl, answer.”

You smirked, amused at how playful he could be now that the awkwardness between the two of you was completely gone.

“No… never…”

“Jesus…” he replied as he gravitated downwards, running his hands across the sides of your hips, down to your thighs. He was now kneeling, his face between your legs and he slowly began to pull down your jeans, as you stepped through each jean legged and he threw them to the other side of the room. He stood back up, feverishly kissing your neck, and you couldn’t help but gasp at the feeling.

You squealed as he picked you up with ease, holding you by your ass as he walked up the stairs, heading into your bedroom, laying you down onto the bed.

He removed his shirt, and unbuckled his jeans and you did the same, trying to match his pace. He grunted as he crawled to be on top of you, taking in every inch of you with his eyes.

“You want my fingers? My tongue? Baby girl you gotta use your words…”

You pulled at the waist band of his briefs and look back to meet his gaze.

Joel looked down and then back up at you.

“I want you to fuck me,” you replied firmly. This was what you’d been thinking about, and from the heat between your legs you knew this was what you wanted.

“You sure baby? Cause once I start I don’t know if I can stop. I’ll want you all to myself.”

“I want you to bend me over and-“

Joel took that as enough of a sign and put his large hand on your stomach and another on your back and flipped you over.

You muffled, moaning into the pillow at just the touch of his hands on your bare ass. You half expected to feel the tip of his dick but when you felt the softness of his tongue against your clit from behind, and the roughness of his stubble, you let out a stifled moan.

“Fuck me you taste s’fuckin’ good,” Joel groaned, before lapping his tongue against your slit once again, moving it up and down and placing kisses on your ass whenever he could.

He removed his tongue and flipped you back over so that you could now meet his gaze once more.

“But I said I wanted-“

Joel shushed you once again, this time firmly and spread your legs open, placing his index finger and middle finger against your slit, enough to send a shiver down your spine.

“You’ll get it when I think you’re ready,” he replied, his voice gruff.

“Cause I’m gonna finger you while you scream my name first baby girl.”

You moaned, as he slowly pushed two fingers into you, curving them slightly as his gaze stayed firmly against yours. His fingers were large, but didn’t hurt. You wanted more and nudged your hips slightly to encourage him.

“Joel please… need more…”

Joel knew exactly what to do and sped up the pace, practically enough to make you see stars. He pushed his fingers into your entrance hard and fast, pumping them at the same speed. He was grunting and moaning more than you were by now. But you were wet, ridiculously so.

Before you came, he flipped you back around, leaning over you enough so that you could feel his hot breath against the back of your neck.

“Gonna fuck you real hard now baby,” he stated.

The tip of his dick entered into your slit slowly, but you were so wet you didn’t feel any pain of any sort. You just wanted more, needed more, craved more.

“Fuck that’s it, what a fuckin’ tight pussy you’ve got,” he grunted, as his pace moved more swiftly. He slapped your ass hard, fucking you faster and you couldn’t help but scream out obcensities into the pillow at hand.

“Say my name,” he grunted out, breathing heavily.

“Joel,” you moaned.

“Louder.”

“Joel!” Joel slapped your ass harder this time, until eventually you could feel his torso shake as his hands gripped your hips tighter.

“Fuck baby… gonna come…”

Joel let himself release inside of you and pulled out quickly, laying down on your bed, panting.

You turned back over, smiling, running your hands through your hair.

“What is it?”

“Just so you know… I was jealous of Jesse tonight.”

You laughed, playfully tucking yourself into Joel’s chest.

[jessesluvr]

hello! your blog is so nice and your fics are so well done! ♥️

cam i request something like: jesse and dina are done and reader has liked him for a long time and they are good friends, she ends up confessing and he says that he is still feeling a little confused over is fresh break up (even tho dina and ellie are already getting it going), so he says like "i am sorry i don't think i'm in the right mindset for a relationship yet" so reader apologizes and leaves, gets some distance between them so that she can heal, but jesse starts noticing her more then he used to: how pretty she is, how kind and all this stuff. he ends up taking to her and says that he is willing to give it a chance and reader goes "after my heartbreak? you will have to work for it" so he tries to charm her again with silly romatic things like flowers gifts a granola bar before her patrol 😭 ending is up to you! i hope you like the prompt and if not you are totally free to ignore it!!!

the distance between us | jesse x reader

author's note : hiii ! please enjoy !! i'm trying to make it through all my requests !! love you all bunches ! drink water and eat well ! <33

summary : after jesse’s breakup with dina, you finally confess your long-hidden feelings—only for him to gently turn you down, unsure of what he wants. but after time apart, he realizes you’re everything he’s been looking for, and slowly, sweetly, he wins your heart back.

word count : 3.4k

it had been a month since jesse and dina broke up. a quiet kind of breakup—no yelling, no slamming doors, no dramatic declarations in the middle of the mess hall. just the kind of ending that felt overdue, like a fire burning low until it finally gave up and flickered out.

you'd been there through it all. the friend he leaned on, the one who sat beside him on the porch of his cabin when he didn’t want to go home, the one who handed him a mug of tea he barely drank. you never asked questions, never pressed. you listened when he talked, and when he didn’t, you filled the silence with anything else. small things. jokes. observations. anything to keep him from sinking too deep into himself.

you’d liked him for a long time—longer than you’d ever admit out loud. maybe since the first time he fixed your patrol pack for you with a sheepish grin and a dumb joke about you being hopeless with straps. maybe before that, when he laughed with his whole chest at something ellie said and it made your heart trip. but jesse had always been with dina, and you respected that. even when it hurt. even when you wished otherwise.

but now he wasn’t. and that hope—the one you’d buried deep, the one you tried to smother every time he smiled at you or brushed his shoulder against yours—started to breathe again.

you didn’t plan to confess. god, no. you weren’t stupid. he was healing. confused. but one night, sitting together on that same porch, shoulder to shoulder in the late spring chill, it just spilled out.

“i like you,” you said quietly, eyes fixed on the dark line of the treetops in the distance. “i’ve liked you for a long time.”

he didn’t speak at first. you felt him tense beside you, just slightly. his hands were resting between his knees, fingers tangled. he looked down at them, and then at you.

“i…” he let out a slow breath. “fuck. i didn’t know. i mean—i didn’t realize.”

you nodded, already regretting it. already wishing you could take it back, shove the words down your throat and pretend like nothing had ever changed. “it’s okay. i just—I thought you should know. you don’t have to say anything.”

he turned toward you more fully, his brows drawn together with that careful, earnest expression he wore when he was trying not to hurt someone. “i don’t want to lead you on,” he said softly. “i think you’re amazing. i do. but i’m still… i’m not sure what i’m feeling. it’s only been a few weeks. i don’t think i’m in the right mindset for anything serious right now.”

you nodded again, harder this time, blinking quickly. “no, i get it. i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said anything.”

“hey,” he said, reaching out, but you were already standing. already pulling away.

“don’t,” you said gently, forcing a smile. “i need to go. i just… need a little space, okay?”

and you gave it to yourself. you stopped joining him for morning patrol meetups. you avoided the mess hall when you knew he’d be there. you took longer shifts, signed up for watch duty, cleaned weapons in the corner of the armory while pretending not to hear ellie laughing with dina on the other side of the room.

you didn’t hate him. you could never hate him. but being near him made your chest hurt. so you carved out space where you could breathe again.

jesse noticed, of course. at first, he thought you were busy. then he figured you were avoiding him. then, after a week, he felt it—really felt the ache of your absence. he’d gotten used to your presence without realizing it. the way you always made some dumb joke when he was tired. the way you nudged your knee against his under the table. the way you knew when to speak and when to let silence settle between you.

and now you were gone.

jesse saw you again one morning outside the stables. you were saddling up before patrol, fingers working briskly at the leather straps of your horse’s gear. you looked tired but focused, your expression serious in a way he didn’t remember seeing before. and something about it—something about the way your brows furrowed, the way the morning sun hit your cheekbones—made his stomach twist.

you’d always been beautiful. he knew that. kind, too. patient. funny in a quiet, dry sort of way. but now he was seeing it all differently. or maybe just finally seeing it at all.

you didn’t look up when he passed. didn’t say his name. didn’t meet his eyes. and it stung more than he expected.

“hey,” he called softly.

you glanced at him, gave a small nod, and went back to your task. polite. distant.

it unsettled him. all day, through his own patrol, he kept thinking about you. the way your laugh used to catch him off guard. the soft sound of your voice when you asked him how he was. the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled.

he remembered the confession. remembered the heartbreak in your voice when he told you no. and he hated that he’d been the one to cause it.

dina was already with ellie now. he didn’t blame her—they’d always had something unresolved, something magnetic. and truthfully, he was glad. not because he didn’t care about dina anymore, but because it clarified things. made it easier to admit that the warmth he felt when you were around had never been just friendship.

he wanted to fix it. wanted to try.

so the next morning, he waited outside the stables. when you arrived, a little bleary-eyed, he straightened up and offered a sheepish smile.

you frowned slightly. “jesse.”

“hey,” he said. “uh. i got you something.”

he held out a granola bar. one of the good ones—the kind you always snagged when they were available in the mess.

you stared at it. then at him. “you’re giving me a granola bar.”

“not just any granola bar,” he said, lips twitching. “your favorite.”

you raised an eyebrow. “you bribing me now?”

“i wouldn’t call it a bribe. more like… an offering. like a peace treaty.”

you hesitated. then took it slowly, tucking it into your pack without a word.

he took that as a win.

after the granola bar, he started showing up more.

sometimes he’d leave things where he knew you’d find them—a single wildflower tucked into the straps of your bag, a sketch ellie had drawn of a moose with your name written underneath it (he bribed her with jerky for that one), or an extra water flask on hot days with a crooked little note: “don’t die of dehydration. i like you too much.”

you didn’t acknowledge most of it. you weren’t cold, just... guarded. polite, in the way someone is when trying to stitch themselves back together. and jesse didn’t blame you. not after what he’d said. not after the way he’d turned you down and let you walk away like it didn’t split your chest open.

he just hoped you’d let him fix it.

one evening, you were at the gates helping check incoming patrol teams. the sun was low, casting long gold streaks across the dirt path, and your face was flushed from hours in the heat. jesse walked up with two mugs of cold tea from the kitchen and held one out.

“truce?” he asked gently.

you eyed the mug, then him. “you already declared peace three days ago with a sunflower you found behind the greenhouse.”

“okay, so maybe this is more of a ceasefire. temporary terms.”

you sighed and took the mug. “you’re relentless.”

“you wound me,” he said, placing a hand over his heart. “i’m trying to be romantic here.”

“with tea and wildflowers?”

“it’s post-apocalypse chic,” he said seriously. “very in style.”

you huffed a laugh despite yourself. and that was the first time he saw your smile again. not a forced one, not a soft grimace trying to play nice—but a real one. the kind he used to live for.

he stared a second too long. you noticed. your face sobered.

“jesse,” you said carefully. “what is this?”

he set the mug down on the guard’s post beside him and looked at you straight-on.

“i’m sorry,” he said. “for hurting you. i wasn’t ready when you told me how you felt. i was still trying to figure out if it was grief or guilt or something else. but it’s not. i know that now. i don’t want to miss my chance with you.”

you looked away. the breeze kicked up, brushing strands of hair across your cheek. you pushed them back and said quietly, “after my heartbreak?”

he said nothing.

you turned your head just enough to meet his gaze. “you’ll have to work for it.”

his heart jumped. “i will,” he said without hesitation. “i’ll do whatever it takes.”

you tilted your head, thoughtful. “i like chocolate bars more than granola bars.”

“noted.”

“and i don’t forgive easily.”

“then i’ll keep asking.”

you nodded slowly and sipped your tea. “good.”

jesse committed to the bit.

he left you chocolate bars wrapped in hand-folded paper hearts. once, he scrawled a dumb pun on the wrapper—“you’re sweet. i’m nuts. we go together.” ellie heckled him for a full day.

he offered to sharpen your blades in the armory, even though you already had a routine. you let him do it once, and he ended up slicing his finger open. still, he grinned through it like an idiot.

he carved your name into a small piece of driftwood and left it on your windowsill. it wasn’t perfect—the letters were uneven and shallow—but it was sweet. something quiet. something careful.

he didn’t press you to talk. didn’t try to kiss you. didn’t demand a timeline. he just kept showing up. with patience. with warmth. with a sincerity you hadn’t seen from him before—not like this.

and the space between you started to shrink.

one morning, he walked you to patrol and you let him.

later, he offered to clean your rifle for you and you said okay.

by the end of the week, you were sitting next to him at dinner again. not touching. not laughing loudly like before. but near. closer than you had been since the night it all broke apart.

and jesse… jesse was in love.

he realized it in the dumbest moment—watching you braid your hair before patrol, your fingers moving with practiced ease, sunlight kissing your shoulders. something about how natural it looked. how quiet and strong you always were. how kind. how fucking brave. it made his chest ache.

he wanted to tell you. but not yet. he’d made you wait once—he wasn’t going to rush you again.

he waited.

jesse didn’t ask for a label or a timeline or a promise. he just stayed close. a quiet presence in your orbit. steady. patient. and somewhere in all that waiting, things shifted between you.

it happened slowly, like snow melting off rooftops in spring—soft and steady until you didn’t notice how different everything looked.

it was in the way you started looking for him in the mornings. how your boots would pause just slightly near the mess hall until you spotted him. how he’d always walk beside you, not ahead.

how you stopped flinching when he brushed your hand. how he started holding open doors again, and this time you didn’t roll your eyes—you smiled.

he caught you humming once while tying your boots, and it stayed in his head the rest of the day.

you gave him half your sandwich on a long patrol, even though it was the only one you had.

he patched your arm up after a sprain, fussing way too much, and you didn’t pull away. you just let him take care of you.

you didn’t talk about what was happening. didn’t name it. but you felt it, humming under your skin—something new, something better.

and jesse knew he was falling.

one night, you sat together by the firepit outside town. most people had gone in already, but you stayed, nursing a mug of tea and stretching your sore legs out toward the flames.

he passed you a blanket. you let him tuck it around your shoulders.

“you okay?” he asked after a while, his voice low.

you didn’t look at him right away. “i think so.”

“you’ve been quiet.”

“i’ve been thinking.”

he nodded. waited.

finally, you turned your face toward him. eyes soft, lit by firelight. “do you mean it? still? all of this?”

jesse leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and said it without hesitation.

“yeah,” he said. “i mean it. i like you. i’ve liked you for a long time. and i know i was too blind to see it before, but i’m not anymore. i want this. with you. for real.”

you stared at him a moment longer. like you were weighing every piece of your heart.

then you said, “okay.”

and jesse didn’t breathe for a second.

“okay?” he repeated.

you gave him a soft, shy smile. “okay. but you’re still working for it.”

he grinned. “i wouldn’t want it any other way.”

after that night, things changed—but not all at once.

you still made him earn it.

he kept showing up. left coffee on your windowsill. sketched the ugliest drawing of a horse he’d ever made and labeled it “your steed.” when ellie saw it, she cried laughing.

you teased him more often. bumped his shoulder with yours on patrol. called him out when he got too cocky during target practice. he started calling you trouble, but always with a smile in his voice.

he asked you out on a real date one night. awkward and sweet, stumbling over the words. you blinked in surprise, then smirked.

“what do you think all this has been?” you asked.

he flushed. “well—i mean—i just wanted to be official.”

you pretended to think about it.

“fine,” you said at last. “jesse. i’ll go on a date with you.”

he laughed, relieved, and pulled you into a hug before he remembered himself. but you didn’t pull away. instead, your hands rested lightly on his back, like they’d always belonged there.

jesse wanted to kiss you then. god, he wanted to.

but he waited.

the kiss came later. soft. careful. on your front porch after a walk through town. it was tentative, your fingers curled in his jacket, his breath hitching when your lips brushed his.

you pulled back first. he looked dazed. like his entire life had just clicked into place.

“you’re smiling,” you said, voice low.

“i’ve been waiting to do that for a long time,” he murmured.

“then do it again.”

he did.

you never said when exactly you became his. there wasn’t a moment where you grabbed his collar and declared it, or one where he asked you to be his and you said yes. it just happened. the way morning turns to afternoon—you only notice when the sun’s already moved.

but god, the mornings with him.

he’d find any excuse to be near you before patrol. he’d wait outside your house with two mugs, sometimes tea, sometimes shitty coffee, depending on the weather and whatever was left in the mess hall.

“good morning,” he’d always say, like it was a secret just for you.

you started waiting for him, too. brushing your hair faster, tucking your journal away early, not bothering to lace your boots until you saw his shadow outside.

you’d sit on the steps and drink quietly, shoulders touching.

“you sleep okay?” he’d ask.

“you snored again last night,” you’d tease, even though you hadn’t slept over.

“you dreamt about me again,” he’d shoot back, grinning.

and you’d roll your eyes. but your smile always gave you away.

he’d walk you to your post. sometimes he’d carry your rifle. sometimes you let him.

ellie called you two “gross” under her breath once during breakfast. dina elbowed her and said, “they’re just in love, shut up.”

you didn’t say anything. but jesse’s hand brushed your knee under the table and you didn’t move away.

jesse started leaving your porch light on. it wasn’t really a light—it was an old solar lantern someone rigged up above the door. he’d flick it on after late patrols, after he walked you home, after you kissed him goodnight at the gate.

you noticed it one evening after patrol. the sun had dipped low, your shoulders sore, and your hands still smelled like gun oil. you trudged up the steps—and there it was. the soft orange glow above your door. warm. waiting.

you smiled.

“you’re soft now,” ellie said when you told her.

you shrugged. “maybe.”

“he’s good to you,” she added. quieter.

you looked down. “he is.”

jesse noticed things.

how you liked your bread toasted a little too long. how you slept curled toward the wall when you were overwhelmed. how you always rubbed the pad of your thumb when you were nervous.

and you noticed things, too.

how he always stretched before patrol, like an old man. how he talked to the horses like they were people. how he never let anyone carry more weight than him, even if it made his knees sore.

you didn’t talk much about the past anymore. not his with dina. not yours, either.

there was too much of the present to hold.

the night it all clicked for him, it wasn’t dramatic.

there wasn’t thunder or a shootout or some grand declaration. just you, sitting on his couch in one of his old shirts, legs folded under you, a book resting on your knees.

you weren’t doing anything special. just turning the page, your brow furrowed in concentration.

and he looked at you like he’d never seen you before.

like everything in his life—every loud, messy, painful moment—had been leading here. to this. to you in his shirt, on his couch, in his life.

he sat down across from you and said your name.

you looked up. “hmm?”

“i love you,” he said, suddenly.

you blinked.

“what?” you whispered.

“i love you,” he said again. slower. clearer. “i think i’ve been trying not to say it because… because i didn’t think i deserved to. not after how long i made you wait. how badly i handled things before.”

you set your book down.

“jesse—”

“but i do,” he said. “i do love you. and i don’t want to waste any more time pretending like i don’t.”

you were quiet for a long beat. just watching him. breathing him in.

then, finally, you said, “you broke my heart once.”

“i know,” he murmured.

“you made me feel like i wasn’t enough.”

“you were always more than enough.”

your eyes burned. “it took me months to feel like myself again.”

he reached for your hand. didn’t pull—just offered. “and i’ll spend the rest of my life making sure you never feel like that again.”

you stared at him.

then you let him take your hand.

and you whispered, “okay.”

it wasn’t flashy, the way you loved each other.

it was in how he pulled your gloves on for you when your hands were cold. how you always made him take the last bite of whatever you were eating, even if you were still hungry.

it was in the way he reached for your hand without thinking. how your clothes smelled like his now. how his pillow was always on your side of the bed because he liked the way you smelled, too.

he made you laugh. god, he made you laugh.

you called him dramatic. he said you were bossy. you called him predictable. he said you were impossible.

you’d fight over who got the last cookie like it was life or death, and then an hour later he’d be asleep in your lap.

ellie called you “sickening.” dina just smiled and said, “about damn time.”

jesse came back from patrol one day, covered in dirt and sweat and dried blood from a scuffle with infected, and found you in the garden behind your house.

you looked up at him, one hand shielding your eyes from the sun.

he walked right up and kissed you. didn’t even say hi.

you laughed into his mouth.

“what was that for?”

he just smiled. “you’re it for me.”

you flushed. “you already said that.”

“i’m saying it again.”

“jesse,” you whispered, “you’re it for me, too.”

[crowleysmistress]

I did something rash and childish. I left a server in a huff. They have a rule about no ship shaming (they don’t allow incest or underage) and this person said they liked Midam. (Michael & Adam)

They were getting a few comments on how that arrangement was abusive, under duress, non-consensual, that Adam didn’t have a choice. So I made a comment that choices were made by both Michael and Adam.

Michael decided to revive Adam, who would not have survived the fall into the Cage. Instead of just wearing the body. (Which he was capable of doing as we see in a later episode.)

Adam said yes to being possessed. But he didn’t do so in the Cage under duress and because he had no option. He showed up at Stull Cementary already possessed. He had already said yes before the Cage.

They both said yes to merging- agreeing to the peaceful type of relationship they had that ended up with what we see where they share control of the vessel in S15.

We can further see how Midam relationship is different because there is another archangel and vessel going through the same situation and having different results. Samifer.

Same thing, Sam had said yes before Stull Cementary. He was possessed. They fell, Lucifer protects him upon falling. Revives him. But then instead of settling into married domestic bliss they fall into torture and we are here because of you dynamics and realization that the whole saying yes was a trick to lock Lucifer up.

So we can clearly see the differences between an abusive relationship and a one that OK I will give you a gray one bc cosmic entity (but then you have to apply that to all your human/angel pairings understand). I am saying this as a Samifer lover. Trying to defend this poor commentator that happens to like Midam and is getting ship-shamed.

The moderator says please refer to our updated rules about ship-shaming. So they updated them to not include - people can’t talk on that server about ships that are incest, underage, or abusive/non-con in nature. The moderator said that Midam bc it was in the cage was non-consensual.

Like I said got huffy and left but really should have stayed and just posted everyday about non-con pairings.

Sam/Eileen. Oh sorry that’s non-con they were forced together by God against her will (literally the reason she dumped him bc she didn’t think it was real).

Sam/Jess. Oh no, manipulation by demons, that’s non-con against her, or both to get him in position to participate in the plot to free Lucifer.

Dean/Amara. Oh no, that’s non-con a cosmic being that he was made for and has no interest in but she is obligating him to face fate versus free will.

Dean/Castiel/Jimmy- Jimmy never consented for his body to be used in that manner he wanted it to be used in a holy way - for sex he was a heterosexual male that was married and had a soul mate. With Castiel same as the issue with all cosmic beings the power imbalance is too great against puny humans for them to actually be able to say yes or no.

Becky/Chuck- God, hello need I say more.

Sam/Ruby - she was his dealer - literally had him addicted to her blood.

These are just the ones popping into my head right now, out of the ones that they do allow so I mean what will people be able to ship? Dean and Cassie or Lisa? Castiel and Megan? Sam and Cara Roberts or Sarah Blake? Really not seeing much else they would allow IF they are being HONEST and don’t allow ANY non-con at all. Pretty hard from a show that starts with the woman in white on Sam in the first episode.

But… yeah, I was rash and left in a huff without giving myself the option of staying and helping them see how many non-con relationships there actually are in SPN.

[clonetrooperjournals]

Back to me

Summary: You spent years mourning your lost soldier until one day an old clone captain finds you... Pairings: Arc Trooper/ Bad Batch era Echo x Fem!reader x Captain Rex Warnings: ANGST, talks of the citadel, talks of Echo's death, post order 66, pining, mourning, dual pov, established relationship, happy ending Words: 3.7k A/N: I am back from vacation! I started working on this a while ago but I finally finished it and y'all I made myself cry so many times writing this... I really hope you love it, I did it dual pov from your perspective as well as Rex's, trust me it gives more angst! xx masterlist here

Rex watches you from inside a small bar across the street.  

You were cleaning the windows outside of your clinic, your medical jacket thrown over a bench revealing the simple pink sundress you were wearing. He could tell you were humming to yourself, something you’ve always done since your days working in the GAR as a civilian medic, a small smile on your face. You looked happy, and from the intel he gathered from the bartender you had made yourself a comfortable life here. He didn’t want to ruin that but, he also had nowhere else to go. You waved to someone down the road and grabbed your jacket, heading back inside.  

Rex walks across the street and inside the clinic, freezing. It was clean and white with blue accents, the front counter was painted 501 blue and the young twi’lek woman behind it smiled at him but, what made him pause was the picture that hung on the wall. An old picture taken on the day of your first field mission, you sat in the center surrounded by himself, Fives, Jesse, Tup, Hardcase and Echo, all of you had big smiles and if you look closely, you can see you and Echo holding hands. Underneath the picture written on the wall was a line that made him tear up, “always remember who you fight for”  

The twi’lek woman watches him curiously, “Can I help you sir?”  

“Yes uh,” he clears his throat walking to the counter, “may I see y/n please?”  

She types something on her data pad, “Do you have an un-treated illness or injury?”  

“Umm no I-I'm an old friend...” he says quietly not knowing if this was such a good idea. The twi’lek looks up at him curiously and then gets up and walks to the back without another word. Rex turns around looking at the door thinking maybe it's not too late to leave.  

Then he hears a gasp, and he slowly turns around to being almost thrown off his feet as you jump into his arms, “It’s really you! I can’t believe it! The reports said you were...”  

“I know. I made sure they did. I had to disappear...” he whispers looking down at your tear-streaked face with his own watery smile. He always thought you were the most beautiful woman to grace this galaxy and was secretly jealous that it was Echo of all people that won your heart, especially now as you were in his arms.  

You look around realizing that you are in fact in the middle of your clinic, clinging to the clone captain while crying, “Come with me.” 

You lead him to your office in the back and close the door, “I have so many questions.”    

 “I know and I promise I’ll answer all of them but first I have a favor to ask of you.” he says timidly, he really didn’t want to intrude on your life here, especially since you finally seem happy.  

Like you knew what he was thinking, you grabbed his hand and squeezed gently, “Rex. I will never turn you away, ever. If there’s anything I can do to help you, I will do it.”  

“I need a place to stay for a while...” he sighs.  

You nod smiling up at him, “You can take my spare room.” 

... 

He had planned to tell you about Echo that first night he stayed, but he couldn’t bring himself too. Part of the reason was he had no idea where Clone force 99 was but, a lesser more selfish part of him wanted to just be with you without opening the old wound that he caused all those years ago.  

He can still remember coming back from the citadel mission with Fives, his heart in his throat, tears stinging his eyes. Your relationship with Echo had been kept a secret but most of the boys in the 501 knew, and they were all happy for you two. You had been together for a year, first meeting in the med bay when Echo brought Fives in for treatment, and it was love at first sight. The two of you became inseparable after that and started dating almost immediately after. Echo was your person, your partner, he was your whole galaxy, anyone who seen the two of you together knew that and Rex had no idea how to tell you he was gone. When they arrived back on Coruscant you were waiting at the hangar, not giving him any time to prepare. You ran over with a bright smile, your cheeks flushed pink, your eyes sparkling until you looked at Rex and Fives slumped shoulders and helmeted heads avoiding your gaze.  

“Where is he?” you ask cautiously, “Where’s Echo?”  

Rex couldn’t even answer, the words stuck in his throat, and it seemed Fives was the same. He shook his head not meeting your eyes and you immediately started sobbing. It only lasted a few seconds before you fainted, Rex catching you before you hit the ground. He carried you back to the med bay with hidden tears streaming behind his helmet. When you woke up in the med bay with Rex and Fives sitting beside your bed you started sobbing all over again. After that day it was like something broke inside of you, you couldn’t treat the soldiers without breaking down, so Kix put you on desk duty. You worked silently, avoiding eye contact with everyone, only giving one or two-word answers, you became a shell of the bright bubbly woman that Echo fell in love with. You were broken and nothing anyone could do would help. You left the GAR shortly after, saying that you would never be able to heal if you stayed. You wrote Rex and Fives a letter delivering it after you left with your contact information and your new address saying that there would always be a place for them if they ever needed it.  

Rex never thought that he would take you up on that offer, but here he was sitting at your dining table with a hot cup of caf and news that he should have told you a week ago. He didn’t know the status of Clone force 99 and he couldn’t live with himself if he told you about Echo only to find out that he was gone again. No, he would wait until he could locate the bad batch and go from there.  

You hummed quietly to yourself as you cleaned up from dinner, wearing another sundress this time blue and a warm smile on your face. Rex couldn’t take that smile from you twice, he wouldn’t. 

... 

Seeing Rex after years apart felt like your world started spinning again. It was strange but, you knew that the force led Rex to you for a purpose, just like it led you to Echo all those years ago. A lot of people don’t really believe in the force, they think it’s just something the Jedi say to explain the magical things they can do, but you’ve always believed. “There’s no such thing as coincidence” was something master Yoda had said, and you agree wholeheartedly.  

The day you met Echo, it felt like your whole being snapped into place. You've never been able to explain it without sounding a little crazy, but you knew from the first moment you and Echo made eye contact that he was yours and you were his. You knew he felt the same way, you could see it in the twinkle in his eyes, the warmth of his smile, the shiver when you touched him, the same way you did for him. It was the will of the force that helped you find each other.  

The day Rex and Fives returned without Echo it was like half of your soul died with him. You thought you would never be able to live without him, so you found a way to keep him with you. After leaving the GAR and opening your little clinic in Echo’s name, it gave you a new reason to carry on. You put touches of Echo and his brothers all around you so you wouldn’t have to part with them, seeing their smiling faces from the picture everyday almost made it feel like they were with you, almost. It took you a long time to be able to smile, to walk around and feel okay with where you were. You knew you would never feel complete again, not without your Echo but you had spent these past few years trying.  

Rex walks into your kitchen with a small smile, and eyes that sparkled. You knew that he liked you, and you wished some days that you could like him back, but that isn’t the reality. You may hold Rex’s affection but someone else will come and hold Rex’s heart, that you were certain.  

You took off your apron and walked over to him, “You look happy.” 

“I am happy here... I wish I could stay...” he sighs stroking your cheek gently.  

You look up at him with a smile, “You can always come back. I meant what I said all those years ago, you’ll always have a place here when you need it.” 

He closes his eyes and his shoulders droop slightly, “And what if I brought a few more stragglers with me? Would you mind?”  

“Rex. I live on this big farm all by myself, there’s plenty of room for you and anyone else you might bring with you. It's quiet and secluded you’ll be safe here.” you say wrapping your arms around him, hugging tightly, “Just promise you’ll come back. You're the only friend I have left.” 

He squeezes you back, his armor digging into your sides, but you don’t care, “I promise I will come back... Wait for me, okay?”  

You nod ignoring the ache in your chest, “Okay.” 

... 

Rex sits inside Cid’s bar, with a cloak hiding his face and a drink in his hand. He shouldn’t feel nervous but, since order 66 his heart hammers every time he has to face another one of his brothers. A little part of him dies every time one of his brothers do, and after losing everything and everyone, his calm confident personality doesn’t exist the way it once did.  

He sees the bad batch enter the bar, including Echo. Relief and sorrow fill his chest as he rises, hiding his face from the boys. They approach him cautiously, “Who are you?”  

Slowly he drops his hood and Cid scoffs from the side, “Great! Just what I need, another clone!” 

He smirks and looks over his brothers, “been a while boys. Glad to see your all in one piece...”  

They all sit at the bar catching up, talking about what happened after the order, and the entire time Rex’s stomach is in knots. Their inhibitor chips are still in, they’re still a threat, Echo is still a threat... He will fix this, and then he’ll bring him home to you.  

... 

You haven’t heard from Rex in months.  

He warned you that he would only comm you when it was important or when he was coming back and you were only to comm him in an emergency. That still didn’t stop the loneliness from enveloping you again and after living all these years on your own you would think that you would be used to it but, Rex staying with you reminded you of the old days. Your chest ached every time you looked at Rex, reminding you of your lost love but that ache brought you comfort, knowing that even after all this time Echo was the only one your heart wanted.  

You closed up the clinic for the day and walked down the long dirt road that went out of town to your farm. As you walked up the steps of your porch your comm pinged.  

R: Got room for 6?  

Y: Of course. How soon? 

R: One rotation. 

Y: See you then. Stay safe.  

You got to work prepping beds and harvesting food from your gardens, not knowing what was in store for you when Rex landed... 

... 

Rex pulled Echo aside as they approached your home planet, his heart was in his stomach, “I haven’t been completely honest with you Echo...” 

“What’s going on Rex?” he asks cautiously.  

Rex sighs, his hands shaking as he looks at the now scar on Echo’s head, the scar that proves the only pain he can inflict on you now is emotional, “Do you remember when I said I got in contact with an old friend from the early days when I first disappeared? Someone I trust without a doubt?”  

Echo nods noting the worry in his captain's eyes, “Yeah. Is that who were going to see?”  

“Yes, it is,” Rex grabs Echos shoulders, “Echo... it’s y/n...” 

Echo pulls his arms off his shoulders backing away frantically, “No. No! Rex... You all said she disappeared after the citadel! You said you couldn’t find her!” 

Hunter and Wrecker come in looking at the two clones confused, “What's going on?”  

Rex ignores them staring at Echo and the tears falling from his eyes, “When you died... Echo it was like she died with you. She closed herself off, couldn’t look at any of us anymore, she said she couldn’t be around us looking into our eyes and only seeing yours. She left but she sent Fives and I an address, saying if we ever needed her, she would be there for us.”  

Echo is sobbing at this point his chest heaving but Rex continues, “I had nowhere to go, didn’t know who I could trust, I didn’t even know if that was her address after all these years but... I went anyway and I found her. I couldn’t believe it, our medic, the 501st sunshine, your girl, was just there. I stayed with her for a bit while I figured out my next move, and she doesn’t know Echo... she doesn’t know your alive.”  

“W-What?” Echo chokes out as he leans against the wall of the ship, trying to catch his breath.  

Rex sighs trying to compose himself, “I wanted to tell her so many times, but I didn’t know your status. I couldn’t break her heart for the second time I...” Rex stands beside him placing a shaking hand on his shoulder, “Telling her we lost you the first time almost broke me, Echo. You didn’t... You didn’t see her... I broke her! All because I couldn’t do my job as captain and bring you home safe!”  

“So, she... doesn’t know I’m alive? Or... like this?” he asks quietly gesturing to his robotic body.  

Rex shakes his head, “No she doesn’t but, if you think for one second that she would care about that then you don’t really know her.”  

Tech enters the room looking unfazed by the emotional turmoil currently unfolding, “We have broken atmosphere and are approaching coordinates.”  

“How do I... What if she... Rex I...” Echo couldn’t even finish his thoughts as he paced back and forth furiously wiping his eyes.  

Rex grabs Echo’s shoulder again, stopping his pacing, “Echo... she has never stopped loving you.” 

The ship lands on the edge of your farm and from the viewer the clones can see you sitting on your porch. Echo gasps as he walks to the viewer staring at the lover he thought he’d never see again. Your hair was long and cascaded down your shoulders, you were wearing a white sundress with a blue shawl wrapped around you, you were stunning. His heart hammered in his chest as he turned toward Rex, “I don’t know if I can do this...” 

“Of course you can. Let's go.” 

... 

The ship platform opens, and Rex comes out with four clones plus a young girl trailing behind him. You run to him and throw your arms around him, “I’m glad your safe. I thought you said there would be six of you? Did something happen?”  

Rex pulls back, his hands shaking as he looks behind him to his brothers and sister, “This is clone force 99. Hunter, Wrecker, Tech and Omega...”  

“Pleasure to meet you all.” you wave at them, curiously looking from one clone to the next.  

Rex sighs, “There’s one more but... I asked him to wait in the ship while I explain...” he grabs your hands gently, “A few months ago before the end of the war clone force 99 and I were sent on a mission with General Skywalker to infiltrate and retrieve information. Information that only a few people would know... only my brothers would know.” 

“Okay?” you say confused.   

“When we retrieved the information, it confirmed what my gut already knew. The information was being taken from one of our men... someone we thought had been dead for a long time...” he whispers.  

You back up wide eyed looking frantically between all the eyes on you, “Rex this isn’t funny! You can’t- Oh my god!”  

From the ship's door, standing there was Echo. He was different, paler, had cybernetics, and gone was the 501 blue now replaced with black and red, but it was him. Your eyes locked on each other and your whole body started vibrating, each molecule calling out to the man you thought you lost. His eyes sparkled the way they always had, even puffy and red. And as he cautiously walks towards you it felt like a walk back in time. You could see the ghost of his former self walking with him, the one in white and blue, the one with the regulation haircut, the one with the handprint over his heart, the one you lost.  

You kept backing up until your feet hit the edge of the porch and Echo stopped a few feet away from you, tears streamed down his cheeks, and his breathing shallow, “Hi sweetie...” 

Nobody moved, you stood there frozen, and then in an instant your eyes rolled back in your head, and you fainted. Echo ran and caught you before you could hit the ground, cradling your head with his flesh hand as his tears fell on your cheeks. He turned toward his captain, “help me get her inside.” 

... 

You woke up in your bed, the light of the setting sun illuminating around the room. You could hear the voices of the clones downstairs talking quietly, someone was pacing back and forth, and when you looked to the side Rex was sitting there.  

“Your awake...” he whispers into the silent room.  

You sit up slowly, tears already pooling in your eyes, “You knew? The whole time you knew, and you didn’t say anything!”  

He flinches at your yelling, “I didn’t want to get your hopes up only to see you break again... y/n once I knew for certain that he was alive and not a threat I brought him here.”  

“You still should have told me! Even if you didn’t know where he was, we could have-” 

“No! If anything would have happened... if you would have lost him for a second time... y/n you barely survived losing him the first time and I couldn’t put you through that again!” he says gasping, holding back the tears in his eyes. “I couldn’t do that to you again... I couldn’t...” 

You know he was right, if you found out Echo was alive only to find out that he was gone again you wouldn’t have been able to cope with it. It took you so long to live again, you never recovered from losing him, you never stopped mourning him, but you had learned to live in his memory, and if you had to mourn him all over again you knew you wouldn’t survive it. “You’re right... you’re right...”  

Rex grabs your hand and squeezes as you wipe the tears from his cheek, “I’m sorry it took so long.” 

“Silly man. You brought me back my soulmate and my best friend, I would have waited forever to have that chance. You and Echo are my family, always and forever.” you whisper as you pull him in for a shaky hug. “I can never thank you enough Rex...”  

He pulls away looking down at you with a pained look, “don’t thank me. I’m just doing the job I couldn’t do all those years ago...”  

He stands up and head to the door, turning around to looks at you one more time with a smile then he heads out of your room. It only took a second for Echo to appear in your doorway, making you speechless once again. He slowly walks over to you and sits on the edge of the bed, just staring at you with watery eyes.  

The room is still as you both stare into each other's eyes, not daring to break the silence in fear that this may all be a figment of your imagination. Echo reaches his hand out and gently strokes your cheek, you can feel it trembling on your skin and without another word you grab his hand and pull him hard towards you. He doesn’t have any time to react before you slam your lips on his, making him freeze for only a second before he grabs your waist and pulls you closer, your tears mixing together in a salty passionate kiss. You pull away, cradling his face in your hands, “I missed you so much...” 

He chokes out a sob, “I missed you more... I thought I’d never see you again. Everyone told me you left after the citadel... That they couldn’t find you...” 

“I couldn’t stay there, helping all those soldiers when my soldier was never coming back to me... I had to leave.” you whisper gently, “But somehow you still found your way back to me...” 

“I had some help,” he chuckles rubbing his nose with yours, “It seems we owe Rex a thank you for not giving up.” 

“I think we owe him more than a thank you but it’s definitely a start.” you whisper ghosting your lips over his. 

He kisses you gently, “I love you cyare.” 

“I love you too... Thanks for coming back to me...”  

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[elvisbdoll]

Inside the Mind of Elvis Presley: A Psychological Portrait

EPISODE I: TWINLESS

Before you read: here’s the DISCLAIMER

One came into the world silent.

The other came screaming.

That was the beginning of everything and the end of something no one ever saw. Tupelo, Mississippi, 1935—cold, poor, and already grieving.

Elvis Aaron Presley was born with a ghost. His twin, Jesse Garon, never took a breath. And yet he never truly left. For the rest of Elvis’s life, the presence of that missing half echoed in everything—the music, the hunger, the ache in his eyes when no one was watching.

From the start, he wasn’t just a boy. He was a survivor. And he carried it like a secret cross.

Gladys clung to him like he was made of glass. Overprotective didn’t begin to cover it. She didn’t just love him—she needed him. And in that household of sighs and scripture, a boy learned early that love could mean fear. That safety could feel suffocating. That silence had weight.

Elvis Presley was born into absence.

On January 8, 1935, in a tiny shotgun house in Tupelo, Mississippi, Gladys Presley gave birth to twin boys. The first, Jesse Garon, was stillborn. The second, Elvis Aaron, came into the world alone—alive, but missing something that would follow him quietly for the rest of his life.

That early loss was never spoken about in much detail, but it shaped him. There are theories in psychology about “vanishing twins”—how surviving twins can carry the weight of the one who didn’t make it, even without realizing it. Elvis never had to be told he was different. He just was. From the beginning, something in him seemed divided, pulled between life and something heavier.

Gladys worshipped him. That’s not an exaggeration—her grief over Jesse turned into an obsessive love for Elvis. He was her miracle. Her reason. Her second chance. But being someone’s entire world isn’t a gift; it’s a pressure. From the time he was a toddler, Elvis had to carry her expectations, her fears, and her constant need to keep him close.

She wouldn’t let him play outside too far. She’d walk him to school. She worried over everything. And because of that, he grew up emotionally enmeshed with her—tied to her in a way that would affect every relationship he’d have for the rest of his life. Elvis loved women, but he never really learned how to be separate from them. It always came back to that first bond: intense, protective, and impossible to fully return.

They were poor. Very poor. Food stamps. Government aid. A two-room house where dreams were small because survival came first. Elvis wasn’t one of the kids who stood out in a good way. He wore hand-me-downs. He was quiet. Awkward. Emotional. Teachers remembered him as polite but sensitive. He cried easily. He hated being laughed at. He wanted to fit in but didn’t quite know how.

Then came music.

It wasn’t just something he liked. It was a coping mechanism. Gospel music in church gave him a way to express emotions that were too big to say out loud. Blues and rhythm music gave him edge and attitude he didn’t have in real life. When he sang, he became someone else. More confident. More whole. The boy who lost his brother stepped into a voice that belonged to both of them.

It’s important to understand this about Elvis: he was always split. Always trying to live for two.

He didn’t talk about Jesse much. But the weight was there—in his grief when Gladys died, in his need to be adored, in his fear of being alone, in the way he clung to people, and in the way he destroyed himself when he couldn’t meet the expectations the world had for him.

The loss of his twin didn’t just happen on the day he was born. It kept happening, over and over again—every time he looked in the mirror and didn’t quite see the person he thought he should be.

[elliespuns]

There's this deleted dialogue between Ellie and Dina (video) where all of our theories of how their friendship/relationship started are confirmed. I took the time to write down the whole thing before analyzing the hell out of it.

Dina, is pink. Ellie, is not.

I was asking, if I hadn't come on to you in Jackson, how would you have hit on me? Like I would have hit on you. You totally would've hit on me. How bad could it have gone? You might have rejected me and then what? I'd have to watch you fall for someone else. Okay, worst case, it would be a little awkward and we just move on. There's no way we just move on. Yes, you would have. What if you were grossed out? What if you didn't wanna be around me anymore? Such a pussy. Okay, who was the one that had this blinding urge to kiss me for 4 years and didn't do shit?

Tell me about when you first realized you were into me. Was it my swagger, my overwhelming beauty? I was into from the day we met. Go on. The day we met, you introduced yourself to me and Joel like you were the major or something. Because I thought you were cute. *blushing* shut up! I hate you. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you don't. I love you. I love you too.

Okay, so, as Ellie says, she was into Dina from the day they met. Which was when they came to Jackson with Joel. Ellie was still 14 (I guess more likely freshly 15 at the time, actually). Dina is probably like a year older, so she was 16. I mean, now I can't stop imagining 15-year-old Ellie meeting 16-year-old Dina and being all twitterpated by her. Just remember the cuteness when Ellie was shown to be in love with Riley. Imagine this when she's 15 and meets Dina. Just adorable.

Also, quoting Ellie "Okay, who was the one that had this blinding urge to kiss me for 4 years and didn't do shit?"

This means even Dina had a crush on Ellie in the early stages. 4 years ago, Ellie was 15, so that means she either started to like her right away or a little bit later on. The girls were into each other, just tiptoeing around one another not to do anything stupid or ruin their friendship.

This also gives us a pretty clear picture of how things were between Ellie and Cat. She was already in love with Dina at the time she was going out with her, and remembering how Dina always disliked the fact that Ellie was hanging out with Cat only proves that Dina was jealous all along. Her relationship with Jessee must have been something similar to what Ellie had with Cat, although I believe that Dina started dating Jesse a lot sooner and had already been good friends before that.

Ellie seems a little hesitant when it comes to relationships (this whole dialogue confirms it too), so maybe if it wasn't for Cat making first steps, Ellie would have never gotten into any relationship to begin with. It seems to me that she just wanted to explore and wanted to know what it was like, but she didn't really made herself believe that she loved her. She surely cared for her and liked her, but knowing she was in love with Dina at the time, it was probably even the reason why Cat broke up with her (I always thought it was her who ended it). She probably knew all along that Ellie had eyes for her best friend anyway.

I also appreciate how Ellie admits she was insecure about asking Dina out. "What if you were grossed out? What if you didn't wanna be around me anymore?", I love how deep this digs into Ellie's personality and how, even though she is a strong and independent girl, she still struggles with abandonment issues. Now she doesn't feel like this only towards Joel, but towards her best friend too. Like, she is lovely, nice, funny, and beautiful, but she still feels insecure. Help me with this girl, she deserves the world because she'd rather love her friend from afar than ending up without a friend. Under the layer of thick skin and a strong mind, this girl is so fucking sensitive and fragile it physically hurts me.

This gives the dance scene a whole lot of new meaning. It's probably the very first time Dina says to herself, 'Okay, now's the time. It's now or never.' and after all those years of resisting, she makes a move on Ellie, knowing the girl must feel it too. The girl is too quirky and shy to hide it anymore whenever she's around Dina.

And Ellie? She has been loving Dina for too long, probably trying to convince herself she wouldn't have a chance with Dina, thinking she's into guys, not girls, let alone her girl best friend. And there she is, suddenly grabbing Ellie's hand and leading her on the dance floor, wrapping HER ARMS around HER BODY. Ellie's arms around her body. What is happening? Is she just imagining it? Ellie's heart must have missed thousands of beats at this moment. I love how it's shown in her facial expression as Dina whispers in her ear. Ellie is so awestruck that she doesn't even realize all Dina wants to do is something she should've done 4 years ago.

[queenofbaws]

Evil Sam. Do your worst 😌

The problem was simple: Hannah was her best friend and Sam was very, very mad at her. The two were not mutually exclusive, they just felt like they should've been; like because they were best friends, she should've been able to grin and bear it, or because she was mad, she should've been able to shut off the part of her brain that knew all the nitty-gritty secrets and insecurities best friends were meant to hide under lock and key.

It just didn't happen that way.

Part of it too, she'd come to realize, was that she hadn't wanted to come to the party in the first place. It wasn't the trek up the mountain that did it - she loved Blackwood Pines, always leapt at a chance to spend some time out in the woods where the air was clean and the sunsets brought a literal tear to your eye - but everything else. The social politics, the in-fighting, the pointless peer pressure to just chug one more drink or go run out into the snow in your underwear, the endless arguing over what movies would play in the cinema and why nonono, they could not and would not stand sitting through Blood Monastery again.

But it was mostly the breakup. Well. It was mostly the break. That's what Mike and Emily did, after all, fight and fight and fight with each other until one threw their hands up and the other stormed out to change their Facebook relationship status, and then ten minutes later, surprise! They'd be back together again as if nothing had ever happened, lather, rinse, repeat. Everyone knew it. Everyone understood the cycle.

Except for Hannah.

It was all she'd been able to talk about since the cable car had touched down at the summit, her hands compulsively smoothing her hair down, her cheeks bright with more anticipation than cold as she ran through the hypotheticals. What Mike would be doing, what he'd be feeling, how he'd need someone to talk to, how maybe this was it, her chance, and even if Emily was glaring over her shoulder the whole time, well, that wasn't her fault, right? That wasn't her problem? Not when they'd clearly broken up before this weekend, not when they'd -

Sam hadn't gotten a word in edgewise. Nor had she gotten so much as a shred of Hannah's time. From the moment she laid eyes on Mike, that was it. That's all she wrote. She was a flittery, jittery mess at the edge of his periphery, always trying to step a little closer, to inject herself into his conversations, to giggle at all of his jokes, to twist her hair around her fingers and shoot sidelong smiles whenever he so much as glanced her way. And there was Sam. On the sideline. Caught between Hannah's stalled-out advances and the oncoming train.

Namely, Emily and Jess.

What had started as dirty looks shot Hannah's way had quickly become whispers, become grumbles, become sharp comments barely hidden behind hands. They understood the cycle. They knew the score. And whether it was because Sam was invisible to them or they simply didn't care who overheard them, it wasn't long before she understood where the night was heading.

"Who does she even think she is?"

"Literally. Liiiterally. It's kind of sad, though, don't you think?"

"Sad? Try pathetic. The desperation's so strong I'm choking on it."

"Seriouslyyy. It's like she doesn't even care you guys are together. Some friend, huh?" Jess gasped, clapping her hands in front of her face as she pitched her voice down into something more conspiratorial, though no harder to make out. "You wanna get back at her? Remind her who she's dealing with?"

Emily's eye-roll was just as audible. "Uh huh. By doing what, exactly? You wanna go picking through her room until we find her diary? Read it out loud like this is storytime?"

"Um, I was thinking maybe we just, like, lock her out for an hour or something, but yours sounds fun."

"I have an idea," Sam said, and she'd give them this much - at least they both jumped when she spoke up, having just enough decency to seem surprised that they hadn't noticed her. She held their eyes for a beat then shrugged, folding her arms across her chest. "Gotta warn you, though...mine's pretty mean."

The problem was simple. Hannah was her best friend.

But Sam was very, very tired of feeling like she wasn't hers.

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

How would you describe Lloyd's sibling relationship with all of the Ninja? What kind of brother/sister is who to Lloyd? (Including maybe a emotional support Ninja?)

Lloyd's siblingship-

Kai: Cool Role-Model Older Brother

Jay: Older Brother that lets him Get Away with Stuff He Shouldn't (and shares his personal interests)

Cole: Responsible But Chill Older Brother (who Lloyd mimics a music taste from)

Zane: The Brother That WILL Put his Foot Down (especially if it's when Kai can't)

Nya: Girl Brother (just kidding that joke's been made before bUT we all know how much Nya means to Lloyd)

Bonus Jesse: Anxious Brother Emotional Support Brother Brother-in-Law Brother That Makes Sure He's OKAY (and also EATSSSS)

Now, as for everyone else with each other, I definitely read them as having sibling dynamics sometimes, but as a whole I wouldn't define nor label their whole interactions as "de facto siblings" either. It goes hand-in-hand with the "found family doesn't mean giving everyone a clear-cut nuclear label" thing people have been yapping about (which I agree with), and their occasional use of referring to each other as "brothers" I always read as "brothers-in-arms" and not...literally...brothers. Ahaha.

All that being said, I'm more in the camp of everyone being what someone else needs/perceives at a given time.

Sometimes, that means Cole's gotta pull the older brother card to get Jay to calm down; sometimes that means taking a step back and letting Kai defer into a more fatherly-leadership role; sometimes he looks to Zane for the comfort of a potential lover; sometimes Nya is both the sister he's always wanted, and an answer to many of his problems; sometimes Jay is the annoying younger cousin yet good friend you can't imagine your life without

Sometimes Kai's subconsciously trying to parent everyone else; sometimes he wants someone to tell him what to do; sometimes he's the brother doling out hard-hitting but necessary advice; sometimes he's that friend you wish would mind his own business a little more (but then regret the one time that he does); sometime he wishes he wasn't suddenly the "middle child" without a defined role in things

Sometimes Jay's playing kid brother to mostly everyone else; sometimes that means he's the friend that snaps everyone else back to their senses; sometimes he's a boyfriend trying to figure out the right way to get his partner to stop being so upset; sometimes he's like the boy next door that you forget exists until he's blowing something up in your backyard and you have to rush out to put out a fire—

Sometimes Zane is he "mom friend", sometimes he's the strange older cousin with extremely helpful advice you wouldn't have considered otherwise; sometimes he's playing mediator trying to maintain peace with everyone else; sometimes he's so lost in himself that he doesn't realize what he means to all those around him who love him

Sometimes Nya is treated as the precious little sister who no one is allowed to harm (unless you want a gang of angry older brothers on your back); sometimes she's the really cool aunt pulling amazing helpful gifts out of thin air; sometimes she'd the friend giving you the advice you didn't realize you needed

Their dynamics are nebulous and never really defined (which is also partly why the full-lean into RGB Sibs and the sheer lockout of the other three bugs me a bit), but while they are certainly family, siblings isn't always what I'd boil them down to.

All-in-all they started as loose friends united under a cause only they could achieve/understand, only to be left to fend for themselves and a green child of destiny they technically didn't ask for nor expect... but now, whatever they are now, they wouldn't change it for the world.

(which also makes some of the stuff in DR such a bitter pill to swallow)

[invisiblerambler]

Carmy doesn't deserve to be left and Sydney doesn't deserve to leave

None of the relationship between the two of them is about what one or the other deserves.

Fundamentally they have never interacted in a way that could be that transactional.

Thinking about this in terms of what Carmy or Syd deserves is such a flattening of both of their characters.

No one (mostly) deserves to have bad things happen to them, and despite all his many many bad coping mechanisms and lash-outs Carmy doesn't deserve to be abandoned again.

He will not recover if Syd leaves him. Do you think he's going to treat anyone better by her deepening his most fundamental trauma wound?

There is whether he realizes it or not a part of Carmy that thinks Syd was sent by Michael to carry out what he could not.

In a more immediate sense he believes this about Claire. I know her character is forced and awkward, but there is an element of realism to the way that Carmy had to regress back into past versions of himself in that environment.

Carm tells Sydney his sister doesn't think he's a genius, but more than that none of his family see him for who he was in New York or Napa or Cophenhagen. They understand he is extremely talented but that doesn't cancel out the fact that they also knew him as a snot-nosed kid.

Carmy feels like he has to complete something by dating Claire. Mikey forced him to come back to Chicago be a part of the restaurant he never wanted Carm to be a part of, but if he has to be here he might as well be with the girl Michael wanted him to be with. Fundamentally Mikey just wanted Carm to be happy fulfilled and safe but Carm doesn't understand Claire was just the stand in for that.

ANYWAYS back to Sydney, Sydney represents the evolved version of that idea. It has always felt like this subtext that Carmy wishes she could have met Mikey and some part of him feels incomplete because of that, but I think he also wants to believe Mikey sent Sydney, not to save him because she is not his babysitter, but like I said to carry out what Mikey couldn't. A true partner in all senses of the word, and I think Richie eventually warming up to Syd is in a way Mikey approving of her by proxy.

Back to the point I was making 5 paragraphs ago, Carmy will not get better or be encouraged to get better if one of the people he is the most emotionally intimate with in his whole life leaves him.

Yes, Syd is fair to demand more out of Carmy and to require better treatment and boundaries and all of the things that would make it a healthy partnership. But that doesn't mean Carm deserves to be dealt a mortal emotional wound in the process. Yes this is a TV show and these people aren't real, but if we start treating life like a chess game like this...

Sydney does not actually need to leave in order for Carm to realize what he needs to realize. He already learned that lesson with Mikey, and by showing that Carm can learn that lesson before the relationship is fully beyond the point of repair (obviously because of death in Mikey's case) is the most profound growth the show could give him.

No he will not be all the way there, he has a lot of work he needs to do, but one of his biggest problems is the way he refuses to let anyone be excellent alongside him. The ultimate growth for him is realizing that greatness doesn't mean anything when you're alone. Jess echoes this when she says she's around great people when she's not at work.

So much of this show is about the way that ambitious and creative people fundamentally cannot survive when they are cut off from everyone else. Carmy is the antithesis of the tortured creative genius because at every point where he cuts everyone else off he fails. That's why I don't think the review can be a pan, because even with him cutting off Syd at every turn she is still the bones of that restaurant.

So Carm does not deserve to be dealt more emotional trauma. Syd deserves to be happy in whatever way that looks like.

[vclvetfleur]

Obedient Chapter 13

roman roy x fem!reader

Summary: You and Jess haven't spoken in a while. You finally decide to confront her on the plane to Dundee. While Roman is still in deep denial over his father's abuse.

TW: trauma talk, child neglect, degradation

Word Count: 5k

Notes: SOrry for taking so long. I have been not knowing where to lead this and I had to focus on French class lately.

Chapter 13: A Clockwork Orange

You heard Roman till he had finally fallen asleep. You both agreed that he couldn’t just let his father just sweep that under the rug. You even convinced Roman not to forgive. You knew it was a lot to ask, but you wanted him to heal. And bending and forgiving was not going to do anything for him or Logan. Except make Logan think Roman was just as weak as he thought he was. You woke up before him, making him an appointment to go see a dentist to fix his tooth as soon as possible. You were still in shock. You couldn’t help but stare at it as it was laid on the counter, dried blood on the end of it. You put a tissue over it, not wanting to be reminded of it. You felt sorry for Roman. You were in his place years ago. You were him when you didn’t realize that your parents would never change.

They weren’t going to. They never did. Not for you at least. You had gotten older, moving from home to home depending on if your parents wanted to deal with you or not. You had been sent to aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, and family friends. You had only come back after your parents had your sibling. And there it was. They changed. But not for you. Not towards you. But towards her. You had gotten updates, hearing about their new golden star child. How nothing has made them happier. You wished you could stand up to protect her, but you didn’t have to. She got the parents you wished for.

A part of you wished you got them, but you knew you weren’t worth changing for in their eyes. And Roman wasn’t worth changing for either.

You brushed your teeth, staring at your phone. You always wondered if an unknown number would maybe one day be them. But that was you just getting your hopes up for an unrealistic fantasy. You looked at Roman, sleeping. You were glad he finally got his moment of peace after what had happened last night. You came back to back, scrolling through your phone and making notes for Roman. Today was a day Roman wouldn’t be in the office anyway, so you just wanted him to relax. But still do things before having to go back to the office. You were sure Roman wasn’t gonna go to the office with a tooth missing. It would only create talk. He also didn’t need any media seeing him like that.

You felt Roman stirring himself awake, moving his head away from the light as it shined in. “Morning Rome…” You told him, running your fingers through his hair. You were busy texting Eduard, trying to set up some kind of meeting with Roman. It would possibly be the biggest fuck you to his father if he landed a major deal with another billionaire when Logan had just messed up the deal with Nan. Logan had exploded at the show that you both missed, where Rhea and Nan followed him and told him the deal was off. This was all relayed to you by Shiv. She had kept checking up on Roman the entire night and you just sent her updates when you could. Despite their rocky relationship and the fact they never really got along with one another. And the constant fighting and yelling and hitting. They deeply cared. Shiv and Roman were the most verbally aggressive with one another, but had so much in common when it came to their dad than they did with Kendall. Kendall was Logan’s pride. He basically removed Kendall from their mom and obsessed over his future. He was the only thing that mattered. He had sent Connor away and was now worrying about one kid. Then Roman came along, but Kendall was just something else. Then a certain incident made Roman act quieter, more reserved. Which in turn made Logan a lot more harder on him. He was seen as weak. Not as good as Kendall. Not that he really paid him much mind, but the fact that Roman was more emotional and was now suddenly quieter, it only made Logan resent him more. A child at the age of 7 was now weak and not fit to be CEO forever. But his other son, who even at the age of 3 was set for the CEO job. Then came Shiv. Logan was disappointed about having a girl. Carolina was a little excited but was too busy with her own issues to care enough. She completely abandoned her children when Shiv was born. Shiv never mattered. Only if she started to be prettier than Carolina. Then Carolina tried to compete and force and embarrass Shiv. Even only uplifting Roman to make Shiv feel worse. But once Shiv stopped looking for the attention of her mother, she played with Kendall’s games of using Roman for the attention of their dad.

Roman was the weird one. And Shiv was the girl.

The two outcasts of the family. Both not good enough for anything.

Not even their dad.

So, despite their distain for one another, at least they weren’t Kendall.

Kendall only checked in on Roman from Shiv. He did his best. He had to physically protect Roman. He was smaller. He wasn’t able to when they were younger. Kendall felt a duty to always physically be there for Roman. Trying to be there emotionally never worked because Roman was too scared to ever open up. His emotions got him in trouble. He never knew when the right time was to ever open up.

So as result of Connor’s absence as older brother, he had to pick up the role and protect Roman physically from Logan. He could only protect him so much. He started to protect him more once he had gotten tall enough. Logan was never scared of his kids though. He knew what power he had over them.

Either way, they all did their parts as siblings as best as they could with the father and mother they were given. They made a lot of mistakes on the way, but there was an effort.

“Morning…” Roman mumbled under the sheets, covering his mouth with the comforter. He didn’t want you to see him without his tooth there. It made him even more insecure than he already was. He knew that you already had, but something in his mind told him you’d run if you saw it. That he’d be too much or something like that. His mind was controlling his logic. “How are you feeling?” You asked, pulling yourself from the phone. You were ready to tell him the news of what you had just done but wanted to ease him into it.

“Fucking great. Uh- can we leave early?” He asked you. You nodded, going back on your phone to make the arrangements. You both were supposed to leave at 11, but you had gotten up early enough. Roman wasn’t ready for the questioning. Roman finally crawled out of bed, going to the bathroom. He had been there for a good 15 minutes, just staring at himself and his missing tooth. It made him feel so ashamed. He never was super secure with how he looked. He knew he wasn’t special, and no one was chasing after him. He was shocked you were decently into him. But the tooth made it so much worse. Another dent in his appearance. Roman hated himself even more. Not only because he hated how he looked, but the tooth was just a reminder of how Logan really felt about him. Roman was never ready to accept that Logan wasn’t a good parent. Logan was abusive. But to Roman, it was his fault. But you helped put it into perspective for him. He finally accepted some part of Logan was abusive and his love wasn’t actual love. His mom, despite being neglectful and instilling terrible ideals and being emotionally unavailable, she loved him. She checked in on him. She held him. She would be there if Roman deeply tried to. Logan was never there for anything. No matter how hard you tried to.

“Rome?” You called out. He barely heard you. You had already gotten dressed, keeping updates on the car that was arriving soon. You knocked before going into the room. You saw him just staring at himself and inspecting little things about his face and appearance. “Hey, the car’s almost here. You almost done?” You asked. He finally snapped out of it, looking at you. He had no idea why you were so willing to be with him when he looked the way he did. But he was so grateful for your standards being that low, in his head. He just put toothpaste on his toothbrush and started brushing his teeth, acting as though he wasn’t just inspecting himself in front of you. “Your appointment today is at 6, by the way.” You mentioned to him. “Wow, thanks, mum.” He joked. His words were slurred with toothpaste foaming his mouth and his brush stuck between the inside of his lips and teeth.

“I know you wanna fuck your mom, Roman, but don’t call me that.” You made a quick comment. You weren’t sure if he fit the Freudian theory, but it wasn’t unlikely.

“If Shiv told you that, tell her to stop acting like I haven’t seen her give Dad fuck me eyes too” Roman shot back. He was of course lying. You’ve seen how Shiv looked at Logan. It was exactly how you looked at your dad when you were in middle school. Just regret and shame for hating him, but such distain and anger for whatever happened.

“I’ll be sure to send her an email about it.” You rolled your eyes. You came up and jumped onto the counter. You looked at him, looking at the details as he was doing earlier. His eyes were so soft. They had bags under them that made them seem slightly sunken. But his personality and other expressions always reminded you he was actually awake. His eyebrows were mostly straightened, but so expressive. For a man who hated showing his emotions, he showed them so much with just his face. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” You asked him. There it was. His eyebrows furrowed, questioning you, but his eyes softened. He didn’t look at you like he was actually confused. Just pleasantly surprised. “I don’t think I have either.” He spits his toothpaste out before starting to brush his tongue. He wasn’t ready yet. He didn’t want to feel all the love you were willing to give. You leaned down and gave him a kiss on the forehead before dropping yourself off the counter. You went off to the bedroom and began to prep Roman’s things for him and your own stuff. Roman soon came in, wrapping his arms around you. He stood behind you, laying his head on your shoulder. He left a kiss on your jaw before giving another on your cheek and moving close to your ear. He whispered, “You’re gorgeous.” Before moving away from you.

You suppressed a smile, giving it a frown kind of look. You looked at him as he grabbed his clothes and finally started to dress himself. “You saw that in a movie, didn’t you?” You asked him. He looked up, his smile creeping up before nodding.

He buttoned his shirt. “Yeah- I think it was one of those shit movies you’ve shown me lately. Fuck wait- was it ‘Clockwork Orange’?” He asked you. You had shown him your favorite movies lately. Most of the time he talked through them and acted as if he thought they were dumb, but after enough scolding from you, he would quit it. He enjoyed most of them though. Except maybe one of them, but he thought it was too pretentious, trying to say something about something that had no real meaning.

“Oh yea- definitely. Wow, Alex. What a little charmer, huh?” You played along. It definitely wasn’t ‘A Clockwork Orange’.

You both left the room once Roman was settled in. You both had to be escorted through the media, questioning Roman about the scandal. Roman knew better not to make too light of a joke at the moment. Mostly to media.

“God what fucking vultures…” He whispered to you once the door was shut. “Doesn’t ATN do the same thing?” You asked him, calling out on his hypocrisy.

“Shut the fuck up… fucking snowflake…” He mumbled, laying his head back. He reached down, holding your hand in his. It was the most affection he could give you out in public. Plus, he needed it to calm his nerves down.

“I have news by the way… Eduard is willing to meet with you. Next week. He thinks after the scandal has gone through a week, the hype will die down and by the time the deal lands that it’ll mostly be over. So yeah, you're welcome.” You smirked. You were cocky, but after working your way into it, you had convinced him. No one was gonna touch ATN for a while. Not with this scandal around.

“Good job, you did your fucking job.” He teased. He was happy though. You saw it on his face.

You had just made sure Roman was safely home before going to your own home. You needed to decompress after yesterday too. You had just run a bath, done some skincare, and treated yourself to a meal. An actual meal. Not a snack.

You texted Roman to make sure he went to his appointment to just be sent a photo of him in the dentist's chair. You saved it to your phone. You were tempted to text Jess. You stared at her number for a while. You swallowed your fear of rejection and finally texted.

‘hey. are you ready to talk?’

You watched the delivered notification turn into Read 7:19 PM.

Then 3 text bubbles coming up. For them to disappear quickly. You didn’t get anything from her all night. Not even in the morning.

She did not speak to you for days.

Waystar seemed to be in a worse state than it ever had been.

Sandy and Stewy were trying to get shareholders and attacking the company. The scandal had gotten worse and now they were scrambling with investors.

Roman had even told you about how Logan even claimed to never hit Roman. It hurt, but it made Roman truly believe he might’ve been overreacting. It just led you both into a fight as you tried to knock some sense into him. But he was stubborn in his ways. Logan still could do no wrong in his eyes. And the more you discredited Logan, the more upset he got. He was just back to doing his dirty business for his father. He was now off to England with Kendall to convince his mom to actually vote for her ex-husband who she despised. You were invited to come, but your fight with Roman made you decline the offer. He just shoved it off as if he didn’t care about it at all. He just thought it would maybe be nice for you to meet his other parent. But you reminded him of your actual status.

You had gotten more news on Waystar as a story broke about Logan ‘bullying’ and ‘hitting’ a young man, someone between the ages of 18 and 23. Apparently, it had caused the boy to drive his car into a lake. You didn’t doubt it. Roman tried to call you about it and called it bullshit.

“I don’t know Rome, seems on brand for him.” You shrugged, sipping on your coffee. It had been 2 pm for him while Kendall and Logan were out doing damage control.

“Fucking- whatever… yea cause people are so sensitive nowadays. Dad didn’t even hit him. Fucking moron is going to drive off a lake over an insult? Really?” Roman ranted, but you had pulled your phone away from your ear, unable to listen to Roman speak ill about a dead child.

“Roman- fucking stop…” You warned but he didn’t. You just hung up.

He looked at Shiv, shocked and obviously upset about your choice to hang up. “What the fuck?” He asked. Shiv shrugged, not surprised. But she just kept her opinion to herself. You shuddered at the thought of what Roman was saying. It truly disgusted you. You knew it was just because he was so ignorant. He was sheltered to think whatever was going on was okay. Shiv just pushed Roman out of the house and decided to finally go to their mom. It would be better if they went rather than bring Kendall. Kendall was Caroline’s least favorite. Shiv was a close second last. Roman was the only one accepting whatever love she could possibly give.

You had been packing for England for your late-night flight. You had to be there for some stupid award show for Logan to celebrate some stupid achievement.  It was just a way to inflate his ego. And for his peers to celebrate him. You thought it was obnoxious.

You were finally finished, getting your bags and putting your belongings into the back of a black car that waited for you. You were being driven before stopping to pick up other people. Including Jess. You watched her get into the car. Your eyes met, but she diverted her eyes away from you. You just wished she’d talk to you. You weren’t sure if your relationship with Roman was worth this. This was too hard.

“Hey…” you tried to talk to her, but she had ignored you for her phone. You bit your lip, looking away. Once you did, Jess’ eye looked up at you with pity. She wanted to talk to you too, but she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to talk about your emotions for Roman. Or why you lied? Or why didn’t listen to her? There were so many questions. But she wasn’t emotionally ready for it. She wasn’t ready to apologize for all the awful things she said either, bringing your family and past up as a way to hurt you.

But it happened.

It stuck with you more often than usual. The fact your parents were emotionally unavailable or physically abusive. How much they’d pick out the flaws you had. All the names. And the blaming for what was done to you.

You were reminded of it constantly since you had to spend more time with the Roys.

You had gotten on the flight, watching Jess as she had just walked past you without giving a second glance over to you.

You had enough. You sat across from her. “Jess… Fucking talk to me… Please… Just FUCKING KNOCK IT OFF!” You exploded. People looked at you, but you gave them a look to make them stop. They quickly looked away.

“What do you want me to say y/n?” She asked you. You sighed, running your fingers through your hair. “Well? I don’t know what to say to you y/n… And I don’t think this is the conversation to have with people around. I know this is your little secret.” She shrugged it off.

You let out a large breath, shaking your head no. “I’m fucking sorry. I didn’t- it’s just- I fucked up. And I regret my choices. If I knew they’d end this badly, I would’ve not gone through with it.” You let out a shaky breath.

“But you knew y/n. I told you. You just ignored it. You did what you did. And I said what I said.” She tried to avoid the conversation.

“I’ll break up with him… As soon as we land, it’ll be over.” You tried to rationalize. Jess thought that was what she wanted. But she wasn’t sure if it was. She didn’t like the fact you were both hooking up or doing whatever, but she knew it wasn’t truly her business. She shook her head, just grabbing her phone. “It’s just- it won't fix anything.” She wasn’t sure if it would ruin your happiness.

Realistically your happiness with Roman shifted depending on if Roman would express his awful opinions. Which he had a lot of.

“I just wanna fix this Jess…” You pouted.

“If you wanna fix this… just give it time… I’m just not there yet. Uh- maybe we could talk about it more another time.” She tried to compromise with you. She missed you too. But this wasn’t going to be productive. You nodded, getting up, and swung your hand on a bottle as it flew against the wall. “real fucking mature.” Jess called out. You walked away defeated and annoyed. You spent the rest of the flight away from Jess.

You had landed in the morning, getting your stuff quickly. The family had already been there, so you were immediately sent to go to where they were staying.

You texted Roman letting him know you had arrived safely. He had sent you multiple messages, trying to admit what he said was disgusting and unfair. He didn’t directly say it, but he admitted to it being not the best thing he could say.

You were driven to the event, ready to confront Roman. But once you had walked in his face lightened up once you walked in. He had grabbed you a glass of whatever was being served and came over to you. “Hey, here get drunk, Shiv is plotting something.” He whispered. You smiled, taking the glass from him. Despite Roman sometimes being awful, he could be very sweet. And he was now more willing to see his mistakes.

“Ooo. Can’t wait.” You smirked, sipping your drink. Rhea began her speech, going on and on about whatever bullshit Shiv fed her.

Rhea began her speech and had brought up ‘Rose’. Roman looked amused at Shiv’s game. While Rhea had lifted her glass up with a huge smile on her face as if Logan was going to be sooo happy to hear about Rose. You didn’t even know who Rose was. You leaned in and asked Roman “who’s Rose?” You asked.

“Dad’s dead sister.” He whispered. Logan had put his drink down and sulked in his seat. It set a mood for everyone to stay quiet.

Roman walked past Rhea “Wow. Well done. Look at you, fitting right in.” He teased before making a disgusting pedophilic joke. He seemed to be interrogating her. You didn’t know their issue with her all of a sudden, but you decided to stay out of it. You sat with Shiv, watching them whispering to each other.

“What a fucking snake…” Shiv whispered to you. You laughed, watching as Rhea tried to work her deal with Roman.  But Shiv and him were in a very healthy place where they decided to work against someone again. They always worked better when they plotted against another person together.

“What’d she do?” You asked.

“She’s trying to suck the CEO position out of Dad’s dick and balls.” She stared at Rhea, trying to intimidate her.

Rhea couldn’t find an in with Roman and joined the table. Roman sat with you and Shiv and Roman then began to interrogate with Tom being their hype man.

The tension felt incredibly thing. But Connor decided to ease the mood but decided to insult Rhea nonetheless.

“This is a fucking slaughter…” You whispered to Roman. “I wanna join.” You snickered at the idea.

“Uh- we should start. The event is going to start soon.” Rhea tried to get out of the next dig that was going to be thrown her way. You had been brought to Logan’s old home. You just watched the kids insult the looks as if it was cheap and disgusting. But it was something that looked huge to you. You would never understand their perception of money. Roman thought a coffee cost $40. A black coffee. It wasn’t cheap, sure $4-$8 depending on where you went. But nowhere near $40. You all just waited for Logan to arrive, but Logan could barely look at it. The photographers waited to take a photo, but Logan told the driver to speed off.

“Wow, how fucking fun. God, you know this reminds me exactly when I chased that twink singer in some dumb fucking band for him to just drive off in his car. Should we chase after him?” You joked. You all just seemed a bit annoyed about your time being completely wasted. But that was expected of Logan. You crawled in the car, Roman following you right after. “I didn’t even know Logan was Scottish. I thought he was just some rich fuck with generational money. You know like some hush hush tycoon stuff.” You admit.

“Yeah- Dad doesn’t talk about that kind of stuff- he rather talk about how much he hated Connor’s mom than talk about his own.” Roman laughed. Thankfully, Connor wasn’t around to hear the comment towards him. You had just stood outside. You didn’t want to watch Logan gloat about some stupid University he was buying out. You found the perfect excuse to stay behind.  You grabbed your pack of cigarettes out, lighting the end. You sucked on the end, waiting for the rest of them to come out. You saw an older man come by with a hat and trench coat and sat and watched. You just watched him. He looked disappointed. Annoyed. Angry. You saw Greg leave the building to greet him. “Oh hey- y/n.” Greg waved at you. You thought Greg might’ve had a little crush on you. He had asked you to ‘come to hang out’ with him so many times. He even tried to impress you multiple times with his big-boy job. It was amusing in all honesty. It was cute. But he just wasn’t your type. You liked pretentiousness and arrogance apparently. “Uh- Ewan… Give me a second.” He scrambled before walking to you. “I didn’t know you smoked. Uh- can I- can I get one?” He tried to find something in common with you. Your eyebrows raised, questioning him.

“Yeah- I don’t think the building allows me to smoke. I didn’t know you smoked either.” You said before pulling the pack out again. You pulled a cigarette out for him and your lighter. You were going to see if he actually knew what to do. It would tell you everything.

“Oh yeah- all the time. I actually can’t breathe half the time 'cause I love these things so much. Yea- I buy like a pack a day 'cause I finish them up so quickly” He tried to lie about his association with smoking. He held the cigarette in between his fingers and tried to light it like a joint. It told you everything.

“Greg, you’re supposed to light it in your mouth.” You informed him. He looked up, knowing he had just exposed himself. “Look- like this.” You showed him, putting the cigarette In his mouth and lighting it for him. “Now breathe it in.” You instructed. Greg misunderstood how much or how hard and began to cough viciously. He dropped the cigarette and curled up as he coughed loudly. You just sat and watched, giggling to yourself as you smoked your cigarette.

Ewan was amused as well. He just quietly laughed as he watched his idiot grandson embarrass himself. The group had left the building, Logan surprised to see the man to be there. Roman pat Greg on the back, looking at you confused about why he practically coughing up a lung. “All right, all right. Dramatic. Don’t cough on me. Yeah, that’s right just turn that way.” He said as he turned Greg around and lightly pushed him away. He didn’t like Greg. He thought Greg was a freeloader. Which he kind of was. Roman just viewed him as someone who was riding on the fact, he was somewhat related to them and was trying to find any way to make the kind of money they did. He leeched onto any family member who would let him. Which was Tom.

“Who the fuck is the crip keeper?” You asked Roman about Ewan. You had seen him talk to Logan. “His liberal snowflake brother.” Roman answered.

“Oh, good news. Uh- Eduard is here. I told him to fly in. He’s expecting you at a bar in an hour.” You broke the news. Roman was shocked at how stupid of a decision that was for Eduard. But he was happy enough to have it set up in the very lease.

“You’re the fucking best. God what a fucking moron. I could just take you right here in front of everyone.” Roman seemed to pump himself up. “Yeah-yeah. Go now.” You laughed, pushing him slightly. You both went your own separate ways for at least a couple of hours. You had a lot of stuff to do in the meantime. Which mostly consisted of you hanging out with Shiv as she seemed to be calling meeting after meeting to destroy Rhea. You had stayed out of it most of the time though.

Connor left the room completely upset before the rest left as well.

“What fucking pathetic brats…” Connor mumbled under his breathe. You looked up, wondering what had happened. Roman left soon. “Rome- what the fuck happened?” You asked him. “Why is Connor-?” you asked him.

“Eh, who actually gives a shit?” He shrugged.

Notes: Poor Connor.

Chapter 14

[milimeters-morales]

So my thing with Hobie’s nicknames: I have Hobie call Lyla “Tinkerbell” or “Tink” bc she’s small, has a yellow glow, and has an attitude, so i’m probably just gonna have him base his names off of childrens’ story characters, like for example Jess would be “Kanga” and her unborn baby is “Roo”, Margo I haven’t decided yet since we don’t know much about her movie-self and Hobie wouldn’t have any character to reference bc of her technology, but from what I’ve seen she could have her nickname as something related to The Little Mermaid because while everyone is here in person, she’s in her own dimension in a life she doesn’t really enjoy, but i’m also hesitant to have him think “Cinderella” is a good name because cmon. Her parents argue a lot, and she does use being a vigilante as a form of escape, but that’s implying that they hate her and harm her, and that’s not something Hobie would say without 100% certainty. Maybe he’d just give her a non-character nickname, like Pixie (bc Pixelate, Pixie Dust, Pick-&-Choose, whatever). Okay this is getting long it’s continued under the cut.

I personally don’t like the Gwendy and Peter Pan nicknames he gave Gwen and Miles but i guess it’s cute, but i would’ve preferred something a bit more personal to Miles rather than just in relation to Gwen bc they feel less like their own people then, even tho Peter and Wendy were an adorable duo. I can see Gwen = Wendy bc she ran away from home to a “neverland” that was supposed to be a paradise basically but realizes she can’t stay, or if you take that “Gwen was going to be shot in the stomach” thing some people who worked on the movie said they got rid of and apply it to her “ghost, gwen stacy always falls, forever immortal and taking back control” thing and her relationship with death and the idea of Neverland having dead children so they are “immortal” and “never grow up” it sticks.

But (even if it’s teasing) calling Miles “Peter Pan” doesn’t even make sense because he didn’t lead her here, she led him to the Society (unknowingly). Like people want to shove “sunflower” and “flower” into everything involving Miles so badly and it feels EXTREMELY forced. I feel like Hobie would call him something else, and this is where the name “Bambi” could come in because while Miles hasn’t lost his mother or father, he’s still learning his place in the world while saving countless people now and in the future, and will eventually become a great stag, even if life wasn’t always kind to him. But again, I don’t think Hobie would do that 100% because he doesn’t really know Miles like that. Or, he could go for more recent nicknames and non-character names that are safer, like “Brave Little Toaster/Toaster” for obvious reasons, or “Spark/Bolt/Livewire” that don’t feel as child-like as “Bambi” or as forced as “Peter Pan”

I also have to take into account what things Hobie just might not have seen, because in the setting i’m talking about he’s not living in a houseboat, so he probably doesn’t have much time to see or learn about these fairytales/characters, and it’s based on chance on when he’d know about them. Because I also have to remember that his city is still highly policed and his people are forced to fit into the mold and comply to societal standards and whatnot, so even things as simple and enjoyable as short stories for kids would be heavily controlled. Libraries are fucked in his universe but they’re one of the only “safe” havens. I think it really adds to his attitude about his own life, how he’s much older than these friends despite being like 16-19, and how he feels the most responsible for them no matter how much he denies that and tries to get rid of that feeling. Calling them these nicknames gives him both the feeling of “haha, these little kids are the future and i’m an old man” and “i’m a little kid again!!”

that’s it :3

[jessesluvr]

Please write an imagine where reader is pregnant with another man’s baby ( he died, or something.) and Jesse takes it upon himself to be there for you starting out with little things then you eventually invite him to a doctors appointment and he sees the baby and realizes he is in love with reader and wants to raise this baby together. When Jesse goes on patrol reader is sad not cause she fears for his safety she trusts his instincts but because she loved going on patrol but now can’t so she is in the radio tower listening to the reports from everyone on patrol. And Jesse coming back and she decides to take care of him whether it’s smut, cooking for him, or doing something she knows he would enjoy.

what we build | jesse x pregnant!reader

author's note : jesse the MAN that you ARE. i'm so in love with him, it hurts. i absolutely enjoyed writing this and kind of got carried away.. i might even make another oneshot as a "part 2" to this just because i feel like there could still be more touched on. anyways, please enjoy !

warnings : pregnancy, grief, loss

summary : after losing your partner, grief isolates you—until jesse quietly, consistently shows up, offering comfort without expectation and love without pressure. as your bond deepens through late-night talks, doctor visits, and finally the birth of your child, you realize that what you’ve built together isn’t just healing—it’s home.

word count : 2k

the days after he died were a blur.

people said the right things. they brought food in baskets you never finished. they offered help you didn’t know how to accept. they looked at you with soft eyes and sad smiles, their voices dipped in sympathy.

but then they left. they always left.

he didn’t.

jesse stayed.

at first it was practical.

he brought supplies. firewood. extra canned food. blankets from the storeroom that he said maria told him to deliver (you knew she hadn’t). once, he dropped off an old record player someone had fixed up, along with a few dusty vinyls.

“not sure what you’re into,” he’d said, setting them on your porch. “but i figured silence gets loud after a while.”

it did.

you hadn’t turned the music on. not yet. but you didn’t throw it out, either.

your relationship with jesse before that had always been light.

he was the guy who made the patrol schedule work even when everyone hated it. he was the one who cracked jokes around the campfire and made ellie laugh when no one else could. he’d been your friend’s friend. part of your life, but not really part of you.

but now… now he showed up. and not just in body.

he was present in this steady, dependable way that no one else managed.

he didn’t talk about your partner unless you did. he didn’t push you to move on or smile or pretend to be okay. he just… stood beside you in the quiet.

sometimes he’d fix things around your place without asking—tighten a loose hinge, patch a leak, clear the gutters. once, you came home from a doctor’s visit to find your porch railing sanded and re-stained.

you sat next to him on the steps while it dried, both of you watching the trees sway in the wind.

“you don’t have to do all this,” you said quietly.

jesse shrugged. “maybe not. but i want to.”

one night, you’d fallen asleep on the couch—body sore, nausea still lingering. you woke to a blanket tucked around you, the faint smell of woodsmoke, and a low, steady voice humming a song you didn’t recognize.

jesse was sitting in the chair across from you, one leg bouncing slightly. a book in his hand.

he looked up, surprised. “sorry. didn’t mean to wake you.”

you blinked at him, groggy. “how long have you been here?”

he rubbed the back of his neck. “couple hours. figured i’d stay until you got up.”

you stared at him, something shifting inside you.

“thank you,” you whispered.

jesse smiled, soft and real. “anytime.”

you started asking for him.

not constantly. just here and there. when you needed someone to walk to the market with. when the baby kicked hard enough to make you catch your breath and you needed someone to talk to about it. when your chest felt too heavy to carry alone.

he always showed up.

you started keeping a mug just for him in your kitchen. it was chipped, navy blue, with a little “j” you’d scratched into the side with a nail when you were bored one day. you never mentioned it. but he used it every time.

sometimes, at night, he’d stay late and talk about old memories—about how jackson used to be before they got the lights running again, how joel tried (and failed) to build a fence one summer, how his parents used to sneak him treats from the dining hall when he was a kid.

you didn’t realize you’d fallen in love with the sound of his voice until the night he said your name like it meant something.

“you’re not alone in this,” he told you, fingers gently brushing your knuckles. “even if the world tries to make you feel like you are.”

one morning, early enough that the sky was still pale gray, you had a nightmare.

you woke up gasping, cold sweat clinging to your skin, your hand on your belly like it might disappear.

before you could think, you were on the radio.

“jesse?” your voice cracked. “you awake?”

you half-expected silence. but within seconds:

“i’m here. what’s wrong?”

you swallowed hard. “can you—could you come over?”

“yeah,” he said. “on my way.”

you opened the door for him and stood there in your pajamas, shivering.

jesse stepped inside and didn’t say anything. he just wrapped his arms around you and held on.

you buried your face in his shoulder and cried.

you asked him to come to the doctor’s appointment not long after that.

he blinked, surprised, but didn’t hesitate.

“of course,” he said. “i’d be honored.”

and he meant it. you could see it in the way he cleaned the mud off his boots before entering the clinic, in the way he sat beside you so still, knees bouncing only slightly.

when the sound of the heartbeat filled the room, his eyes went wide—like hearing proof of life was more than he knew how to handle.

“that’s really them,” he said quietly, gaze fixed on the monitor. “they’re really in there.”

you laughed, tears in your eyes. “yeah. they are.”

he looked at you, then. really looked. like he was seeing you for the first time and understanding everything all at once.

“you’re incredible,” he whispered.

and something about the way he said it made you believe it, even just for a second.

after that, things weren’t so quiet.

you started spending your evenings together without excuses. he helped organize the baby clothes you’d been gifted. he offered to paint the nursery walls—even though the paint was dry and chipping and barely covered anything.

he started bringing over little things. wood carvings. a stuffed bunny he found in a trading bin. a book of baby names (you’d both laughed until you cried at the weirdest ones).

he made you laugh again. not fake laughter. real laughter. the kind you hadn’t heard from yourself in months.

and every time he touched your belly—whether on purpose or just accidentally—your heart ached with something bigger than gratitude.

one night, you both sat in front of the fireplace. the room was warm, shadows flickering against the walls. outside, snow fell in silent sheets.

jesse was half-asleep, slouched next to you with a blanket draped over both of your shoulders. your head rested on his chest.

his fingers traced idle circles on your arm.

“can i ask you something?” you said, quietly.

he hummed in response.

“why did you stay?”

he was quiet for a long time.

then he shifted, just enough to look down at you.

“because when he died, i saw how fast people backed away. how scared they were to deal with grief. with pregnancy. with you needing something they couldn’t name.”

you swallowed, throat tight.

“i wasn’t scared,” he added. “i am scared sometimes. but not of you. not of this.”

“then what?” you asked, barely breathing.

he smiled, eyes tired and warm. “just scared of not being the man you need.”

you reached for his hand and placed it over your stomach.

“you already are.”

and from then on, there was no line between “you” and “him.”

there was just us.

a quiet kind of us. the kind you built in the stillness. in morning light. in shared silence. in whispered promises that didn’t need to be spoken out loud.

the kind that grows slowly.

the kind that lasts.

the days started bleeding together again as winter deepened.

your body ached constantly now. your back, your legs, your ribs. sleep came in short, shallow bursts, interrupted by the baby shifting, pushing, growing. jesse was there through all of it.

he read to you at night when you couldn’t rest. rubbed your shoulders when they seized up with tension. walked slower than he needed to on your grocery trips just to match your pace. you tried to pretend you weren’t counting the days, but he could see it on your face every time you looked at the calendar.

he never said “soon.” he just said “you’ve got this.”

and somehow, that was better.

the day it happened, there wasn’t a warning.

just a deep, low cramp in your lower belly. not like the little flutters and tightness you’d gotten used to.

this was sharp. grounding. final.

you were standing in the kitchen, staring out the window at the snow-covered trees when it hit again—stronger.

you leaned on the counter, sucking in a breath.

then came the next one.

you barely made it to the radio.

“jesse?” your voice was hoarse, barely holding together. “you there?”

his voice crackled in immediately, calm as ever. “yeah. you okay?”

“no,” you breathed. “it’s time. i think it’s time.”

silence, then a sharp intake of breath. “i’m coming. hang on.”

minutes passed. they felt like hours.

then the door burst open.

jesse didn’t hesitate. he crossed the room in three long strides and wrapped his arms around you like a net catching something falling from a high place.

“how far apart?” he asked.

“five minutes,” you gasped. “maybe less.”

his jaw tightened, but his voice stayed steady. “okay. we’re going. now.”

the clinic was ready for you.

maria was already there, hands warm and firm on your shoulders. the doctor, dani, moved fast but gentle. candles flickered. blankets layered the cot.

jesse never left your side.

he held your hand through every contraction, wiped sweat from your brow, whispered encouragement like a prayer.

you screamed once—a raw, ripping sound—and his fingers tightened around yours like a lifeline.

“you’ve got this,” he whispered. “you’re almost there. i’ve got you. you’re not alone.”

time blurred.

pain, pressure, the sound of your own heartbeat pounding in your ears.

then, finally—sharp release.

and crying.

not yours. not jesse’s.

a baby’s.

high and loud and full of life.

you collapsed back into the bed, body trembling, sobs hitting you like waves.

they placed the baby on your chest, tiny and warm and perfect.

jesse was beside you, wiping tears off your cheeks with a shaking hand, his own eyes wet.

“you did it, you did amazing,” he breathed. “you’re… god, you’re incredible.”

you looked down at the little bundle on your chest, their mouth opening and closing in soft, startled gasps.

“we did it,” you said.

jesse laughed, breathless and cracked and so full of emotion you thought your chest might break.

hours later, the world felt still again.

jesse sat beside you in the dim clinic room, baby tucked against his chest now, your hand in his lap.

you watched them together.

his thumb gently brushed across the baby’s cheek. he looked terrified and awestruck and completely, irrevocably in love.

“he doesn’t have a name yet,” you said, your voice still a little raw. “i wanted to wait. to see.”

jesse looked up at you, eyes soft. “have you thought of one?”

you nodded. “yeah. jesse jr, or jj for short.”

he smiled at you and you swore you could see a couple tears leak out.

he leaned down, kissed your forehead. “it fits. he’s gonna be so loved.”

you rested your head against his shoulder.

“jesse,” you said quietly, “you don’t have to stay. not if it’s too much. not if—”

“stop,” he said, voice gentle but firm.

you blinked up at him.

“i’m not going anywhere. i want to be here. this is where i belong.”

he looked at the baby again, then back at you.

“you and him… you’re my family.”

that night, the three of you went home together.

jesse carried the baby like a sacred thing, careful and proud. you walked beside him, slower now, but lighter. like some part of the weight you’d been carrying finally shifted.

inside, your home felt different. like it had been waiting for this moment all along.

you laid down in bed while jesse rocked the baby to sleep.

you watched him—this man who had walked into your life in quiet pieces and built a whole future from broken parts.

and you knew, without doubt or fear, that the life you'd lost wasn't gone.

it had just changed shape.

[my-own-au-my-way]

Sukuna-Mechanic part 8

Just two days since Y/n had encountered Sukuna, with his hoodie in hand that she personally washed for him had to give It back. However she has been so busy with her work that she didn't have time to take a break. Having just finished some custom patterns on her latest clients motorbike, It was finally lunch time. Her current thoughts were interrupted from her cellphone that notified her of a live stream, yes she absolutely loved watching Sukuna go live.

Seen him on screen felt different from when meeting him in person, watching how he effortlessly fixes a car up as though It were no big deal. It made her realize that perhaps she needs to get further studies In the field of mechanics, though at most maybe she could just ask Sukuna to show her a few things. Sighing in frustration, she slapped her cheek to try stop these thoughts!. Telling herself It would be strictly business, he will not be interested. Looking back at her phone, she noticed there was some annoying troll still trying to pester him into a relationship, It was that lady yet again.

If one could slap someone through a screen, Y/n would rather throw hands!

Gripping her phone harder, she takes a deep breath then finally typed a message:

SleepDeprivedPerson:"Okay okay so tell me oh wise lady, why oh why would Sukuna shut you down everytime?. Now Im sure you are smart enough to realize that a 'no' is a 'NO!', FOR FUCKS SAKE HE WHEN HE SAYS NO IT IS A BIG NO!!. Now Im very sure that you do understand the situation, however you still persist and In turn give even me a headache!!

JingxieJr:"Duuuuude this was just epic!!! Gal got roasted!!!"

Ketchup-Clown:"Bruh like trolls be trolls for a reason. This one just asked for it."

💦birdiebabe💦:Tsk, whatever. He will be missing out with a hot catch like me!."

SleepDeprivedPerson:"Ma'am, respect here!!!, If you really want a date go find a man in a dating app or bar...NOT HERE!!."

GodOfSteel:"Alright @💦birdiebabe💦, since your vile behaviour Is not accepted by me or anyone else here, Im going to ask you to leave my blog or I will be reporting you for harrassment."

Y/n rubbed her face from exhaustion, then placing her phone down to go grab some food. Not long after getting to the kitchen Jessica comes In, all vibrating from sheer excitement.

"Girl!! Y/n!!!! You are so Into him!!!.'

Y/n looks back from her fridge, raising a brow just shakes her head showing amusement."No what makes you even think that? I mean seriously that person was just getting annoying. Today has been way too busy and her stupid behaviour is just annoying, anyone could see that.

Jessica then had this typical look, she only has this look when she knows something. Then gestures to a neatly folded up hoodie in the kitchen,"Mind explaing this then?."

You could swear she just obtained a huge victory when Y/n rushed to put It in a bag to take back to him later, Oh the look on Jessicas face.

Y/n sighs while hugging the packet with Sukunas hoodie In it,"Well he let me wear It that day, It was cold and he refused me to simply go without anything warm. Its not mine to keep!, stop looking at me like that Jess!!."

Only growing more flustered just gives up trying to convince her best friend otherwise.

@gojos-version

(hehe hope its still interesting. Im trying to build this tension🤫. Feel free to request what you want to see more of and I shall grant It!.)

[poledancingdinos]

You know when you reach that point in the story where you've put a placeholder for future you to deal with except that now you are future you and you still don't want to deal with it so you make a tumblr shit post instead? 🤣

Presenting 'The evolution of how Dino comes up with character names' because I don't want to deal with this:

Amber Hamby - Girls' Night Out:

I looked through the baby names book my parents bought in the early 90s in search of an anglophone name that could be pronounced by a francophone without getting completely butchered. As you can see, I didn't make it passed the first chapter 😝

After her first name was established, I wanted a last name that would make my character pass off as American born. I took this one from True Blood because I liked how it sounded with the name Amber.

Riley McKenzie - You've Got Me Hooked:

I started by researching gender neutral baby names because this was an important plot point in the first draft.

Once that was chosen, I wanted a name that sounded uncommon enough that it would make it recognizable to the more upper society crowd her parents are supposed to be from. I decided to continue with names from the same general region and settled on McKenzie after studying each possible variation of how to spell it and choosing the one I thought looked nicest. I also called her brother Arthur because I had read a series of romance books set in Scotland and loved the name Artair.

Apparently through all this I didn't realize that Riley McKenzie was the name of a character from Supernatural because I've been on tumblr since 2012 and somehow never watched that show.

Jessie Louise Delaney - Soundtrack of Debauchery:

I put my own name as placeholder instead of my normal XXX or Blah Blah because it was loosely inspired by my experience in music festivals (although for some reason I used the nickname that no one has ever actually called me except for the immigrant mothers of my childhood friends? No clue why everyone else just called me Jess while they preferred Jessie but clearly I liked it enough that that memory has followed me into adulthood).

Anyway, I forgot to change it before I posted it and didn't realize until I sent a screenshot of a nice comment someone left me to my friend and he said "lol, why did you use your own name?". Too late to change it now 🤷‍♀️

For her middle name (which was added on once I realized this was now a recurring series), I wanted something that sounded slightly more dated because I imagine it being sort of a family name that got passed on but not so dated that you would find it weird if you heard it in this day and age.

The last name I just pulled from the author of a booktok book that had me in a damn choke hold. The fourth book of her series features a poly relationship where the two guys hate each other but both deal with it out of love for the same girl so it must have felt fitting I guess.

Leah Coleman - Hostile Territory:

So I read the Twilight series in French because my teacher at the time wanted me to stop reading in English (I was in a Francophone school and only learned to read English in 3rd grade but literally never switched back unless mandated for school). Because of this, my friend and I had no idea how to actually pronounce Leah. I thought I had a vague memory of seeing it before and it being pronounced like Lee while she was Lebanese and had simply never encountered that name before. Anyway I literally forgot about that until the movies came out years later and I was like

So anyway I decided that was going to be my character's name.

Her last name I chose from a long list of American names based on how I imagined Sy barking out her name with his captain voice. She was going to go by her last name for most of the story so it needed to sound right. I also liked that it fit well with her short first name. Leah Coleman had just the right amount of syllables. I followed the same pattern when naming her father (Gage) and her brother (Caleb).

Bonus!

Haley - Sugar Lips:

It was moanable.

If you've made it this far thank you for indulging my procrastination! Maybe drop a name suggestion in the comments?