#and it turns out we've both spent the last five or so years thinking we ought to hang out more

[philcoulsonismyhero]

I’m too tired for more coherent Thoughts tonight, but friendship Good, queer friendship Especially Good, friends who you’ve known for half your life and both of you turned out queerer than expected so then you get to have really lovely conversations about Being Queer (and also Autistic) with someone who’s featured in a good half of your funny stories since you were a pre-teen? Very Especially Good

[wordsbyrian]

Polyglot - USWNT x Reader

Summary: After one odd interview, Kelley, Sonny, and some others stop at nothing to figure out what Y/N has been (not) hiding.

A/N: I’ve been lurking for a while and finally decided to post something. Hope you enjoy it.

It's not unusual for you to find yourself in situations where the team has just found out something about you and then they proceed to act like you had been hiding it from them.

In fact, that is the exact situation you find yourself in right now, the whole team staring at you as walk into the locker room after you finish a post-game interview with a Spanish-speaking outlet.

"Why didn't you tell us that you could speak Spanish," Kelley asks the moment the locker room door closes behind you.

"You didn't ask. Besides, it's not like it's a secret, Ashley and Sophia have known for a while now."

Kelley's head immediately turns to stare at the two women across the locker room, who are just trying to mind their own business.

"You guys knew and didn't say anything," she whines, beginning to stomp her way across the space.

Before she can reach them though, Alex calmly blocks her path and leads Kelley to her own locker, whispering in hushed tones, presumably something about leaving you guys alone so everyone can get back to the hotel.

You think it works because she doesn't bring it up again until dinner later that night.

"So are you going to tell me why none of you ever mentioned that the baby can speak Spanish," she asks, plopping into a seat directly in front of the three of you, Sonnett taking the seat immediately to her left.

At the same time that you mumble about not being a baby, Ashley answers her.

"Once again, no one was hiding it. In fact, we thought that you all knew already, she's been on the team for like two years."

"Of course we didn't know," Sonnett says, "The only times we've ever seen her sit still for more than five minutes, she was asleep!"

"You're one to talk," you say, "The first time I met you, you were wrestling Kelley and Rose in the hotel lobby."

"Whatever, that doesn't explain how you know Spanish," she snarks.

"If you must know, my childhood babysitter didn't speak much English and I spent six days a week with her from the ages of one to 12. Also, I'm not sure if you remember this but I've been living in Barcelona for almost four years."

"Wait, so when did you learn English?"

Kelley mirrors the confused look on Sonnett's face and much to your surprise a few others sat close enough to hear the conversation.

"At the same time," you say, finally looking at them. "It's called simultaneous bilingualism and it's actually really prevalent. It's estimated that half of the world is functionally bilingual and that a majority of that number consider themselves to be native speakers of two languages."

"Sonny, I think the baby just called us stupid," Kelley says, shellshocked.

"She did," Ashley and Sophia speak at the same time and you watch as both Kelley and Sonnett deflate at the plain way they say it.

You thought that was the end of the entire situation until during the next camp a video surfaced online of you speaking French with the media after Barcelona's loss to Lyon in the Champions League final last season.

You had been tagged in the clip what felt like a million times, so it's not surprising that Kelley and Sonentt managed to get their hands on it.

This is how you found yourself hiding in Alex and Kelley's hotel room playing with Charlie, it was the last place the Frat Daddies would think to check. Hopefully, they wouldn't think of it until it's time to leave for the weightlifting session.

"Do you really think that you can avoid them forever," Alex asks, watching as you catch Charlie when she flings her little body off the bed at you.

"No, but I only need to avoid them until we get on the bus because then they'll have to deal with Christen and Sanchez when they try to mess with me."

"If you say so."

"I do."

You're right for the most part, the only time it falters is when Kelley comes back to grab her things before training. That results in the team being treated to the sight of her chasing you down the hallway with Charlie thrown over your shoulder and Alex yelling behind you about making sure not to drop her child.

Outside of that though, it goes off without a hitch with both your best friend and your team mom taking turns glaring at Kelley and Sonnett when they attempt to bother you.

That might be why it's so surprising when Lindsey is the one who brings it up during movie night as you wait for Sam and Kristie to finish arguing about what movie to watch.

"Y/N, truth or dare?"

"Uh, truth," you answer, not bothering to lift your head from its place smushed into a pillow. You’re comfortably lying between Christen and Tobin, with Mal sprawled over the three of you and moving would definitely ruin that.

"How many languages are you fluent in," she asks.

"Fluency is an arbitrary scale that varies from person to person," is the answer you give, even though you know it won't be enough for them to leave you alone.

“For the love of god, would you please just answer the question so they stop bothering both you and me,” Sanchez groans from her place on the other bed.

“Fine. I speak and read English, Spanish and French. I can read German,” you say, struggling to sit up from under Mal’s body weight. “I can only flirt in Dutch but I’m working on learning to read it. Also, Rolfö is teaching me Swedish.”

The line about flirting earns you multiple pinches from the women in the bed with you, but for the most part, everyone is stunned into silence.

The first person to make any sound is Sophia laughing so hard that she can barely get out her words, “Of course, Y/N/N is learning Dutch to talk to girls, it’s like U17s and U20s all over again.”

While you roll your eyes and wish that the conversation would end there, it doesn’t because Kristie says what everyone is thinking.

“So you, the person who dropped out of high school to play in Spain, speak three languages and are actively learning three more?”

“Yes, but can we stop telling people I dropped out of high school because I didn’t.”

“You being a genius really explains why your people skills are so severely lacking with anyone who doesn’t play soccer,” Lindsey says, ignoring you.

“All in favor of changing the baby’s nickname from ‘the baby’ to ‘baby genius’ raise your hands.” Kelley laughs when she sees you're the only one to keep your hand down. “ Motion passes, Y/N shall henceforth be known as 'Baby Genius'.”

“Don’t call me that, please,” you beg.

“Sorry Baby Genius, I’ve already changed your name in the group chat.” Her statement is backed up by the synchronized vibrating of everyone’s phones.

All you can do is let out another groan and sink back into the bed while everyone laughs.

But the night goes on and the subject ends up being dropped permanently. At least that’s what you think until somehow you find yourself, alongside Mal, being called over to do a post-game interview with ESPN at the end of the game later that week.

Most of the questions are directed at her, unsurprisingly, but eventually, the reporter turns her attention to you.

“Y/N, you guys had your hands full defensively tonight and there was even a moment where you had to track back and clear a ball off the goal line after a mishandling by Naeher. What was going through your mind at that moment?”

“Uhm, mostly a lot of inappropriate language but also the fact that I kinda caused Lys to mishandle the ball and it’d really suck if it went in because of my mistake, so I had to make sure that didn’t happen,” you say, wiping some of your sweat away.

“One more question, Y/N,” she says. “Recently, a ton of videos of you speaking both French and Spanish have surfaced online, is this a new development or have you been hiding this talent?”

“I’ve not been hiding it, most of my interviews since going to Barcelona have been in Spanish but no one in America really asks about it. I’ve been speaking both Spanish and French for a long time now, it’s not that impressive,” you say, unsure if the heat in your cheeks is leftover from the game or because of the spotlight you find yourself forced into.

It only gets worse because Mal takes it upon herself to brag on your behalf.

“She’s just being humble, Y/N spends all of her free time studying languages and is working on three others right now.”

The reporter looks shocked, “Is that true?”

“Yeah.”

“A skilled soccer player and a natural born polyglot, you can really do it all. Y/N, Mal thank you for your time.” She turns back to the camera before sending the broadcast back to whoever happens to be in the studio.

As you walk away, Ashley walks over to you, slinging her arm over your shoulder.

“Don’t look so grumpy. We won and now the world knows you’re a genius,” she says.

“She called me a polyglot,” you grumble.

“Ok?”

“I’m not, I only speak three languages.”

Sanchez just sighs and shakes her head, continuing to lead you toward the sidelines where fans are waiting for photos and autographs.

“Don’t worry Baby Genius, we’ll work on your people skills.”

[finelinevogue]

the morning after

Gwen and Aria's POV:

"Babe are you ready? It's about to start!" Gwen shouted to Aria from the sofa.

Aria was busy making them both hot chocolates in the kitchen, so they could enjoy a drink whilst watching the newest episode of Love Island together.

"Coming!"

Gwen's face lit up when she saw her girlfriend walk in the room, Aria's tongue slightly sticking out from concentrating on not dropping the drinks. She graciously took her hot drink and made room for Aria to sit down next to her, cuddling close.

"Thank you." Gwen kissed Aria's cheek and Aria kissed her cheek back in response, before both of them quietened down as the Love Island recap appeared on the screen.

"Last time..." Ian's voice sounded over last nights episode montage, "The heart rate challenge got everyone feeling flustered and even took two people to the hideaway."

"Oh my god! I forgot about that!" Aria gasped, watching Y/N and Harry in the hideaway together. "I've missed them so much."

"Babe, they were literally on our screen last night." Gwen laughed, thinking about how Aria had only become hers last night too.

"Feels like a lifetime ago..."

The screen then cut to the present and the episode began.

The lights turned on in the bedrooms and everyone started greeting each other with a good morning. Y/N and Harry's light turned on soon after, but you couldn't see them because they were buried underneath the covers.

"Morning everyone!" Antigoni shone bright as usual. A chorus of mornings replied.

"Do we think anything happened in the hideaway last night?" Ekin-Su asked, sitting up in bed.

"I think so, yes." Antigoni nodded.

"Yeah I think so too." Gemma added, smirking.

"I think Harry would want to take it slow though, y'know?" Luca added, spooning close to Gemma.

"Yeah maybe they didn't do everything." Dami chimed in.

Gwen and Aria sipped their hot chocolates, knowing full well that something happened last night because the cameras were cut off all too soon and they'd spent a lot of time deep under the duvets.

The screen then cut to the couple everyone adored.

Y/N's head was barely poking out the top of the duvet, whilst Harry had the duvet pushed down to his chest. He was smiling down at Y/N, who could be seen smiling up at him.

"What?" Y/N giggled, pulling the duvet more over their head to hide their morning after shyness.

"Hey, don't hide from me. Want to see you." Harry whined, pulling the duvet back down so more of Y/N could be seen. Y/N looked well rested, especially after how stressful the last few days had been. They both looked at peace, a soft morning glow about them both.

"Better?" Y/N's face now clearly seen by Harry.

"Would be better if y'gave me a morning kiss." Harry negotiated.

"Hey, sounds like you." Aria laughed, nudging Gwen's side. Gwen responded by flicking Aria's ear with her finger.

"I have morning bre–" Y/N couldn't find her sentence before Harry's lips were on hers. Y/N moaned in delight as Harry's lips softly brushed over theirs, feeling those emotions from last night all over again. They were both still sore and spent in places that hadn't been active in a while, but they would never get tired of kissing one another.

Harry made sure Y/N knew he loved kissing them with morning breathe and all, pushing her down into the bed more as he grew hungry for more of them.

"Wait.. Wait." Y/N spoke, pushing Harry away only slightly.

"What? Y'okay? Y'hurting anywhere? Is it your head?" Harry asked with concern, moving his hand to touch the back of Y/Ns head where they had fainted the other day.

"No, no. I'm fine. Just I won't want to stop if we keep going." Y/N explained.

"Also sounds like you." Aria added.

"Will you stop comparing me to Y/N and Harry for five minutes..." Gwen laughed. "We've been together for less than a day."

"And yet you've kissed me more times than a married couple of 50 years have ever kissed."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Gwen rolled her eyes, but not before kissing Aria.

Harry leant down to kiss Y/N once more, kissing their nose too just because he could, before flopping back down on his back. His arm wrapped around Y/N's body and pulled them close, wanting to feel her body on his for just a little bit longer.

He kissed the top of Y/N's head and Y/N kissed over Harry's chest, resting a hand over his heart and tracing over the tattoo's nearby.

"H?"

"Mm?"

"Would you ever get a tattoo for me?" Y/N asked.

"Obviously. In fact i've already planned it." Harry explained.

"I can't with him. He's too much." Aria squealed and Gwen pouted in agreement.

"Oh yeah? And what are you getting?"

"Your name across my forehead, but backwards so every time I look in the mirror I am reminded of you." Harry said so seriously that you would think he was being serious, but Y/N could tell by the affliction in his voice that he was joking.

"I would break up with you if you ever did that, just so you know."

"Wha... Why?" Harry gasped in fake hurt.

"Actually," Y/N sat up to look over his face, pushing back his hair to study his head. "Yeah, to be honest, your forehead is quite big. Could do with filling it out a little."

"Right, you. You just lost cuddle time with Beetroot tonight." Harry tried to be stern, unfolding his arm from around Y/N and turning his back to them, but he couldn't stay mad for long. Not even when he was pretending to be mad.

"No!" Y/N launched themselves over Harry's body, trying to defend themselves and Beetroot.

"I fucking love them so much." Gwen said perfectly.

[maybeimamuppet]

i'll be there for christmas III

hello everyone!! ahh i've missed you all so much i hope you've had a lovely day!! merry christmas to all of you who celebrate :)) sorry i didn't quite manage to post this on christmas. turns out making an entire christmas dinner and all the cookies/sweets for four people and trying to spend some time with family is a lot more time consuming than you would think!

anyway i've spent the last. eight straight hours (whoops) hammering this out as my christmas gift to you!! if you don't celebrate then i hope you enjoy anyway and you've had a wonderful december.

this was loosely requested by @ghosthooman who mostly just wanted to see janis pregnant for a change and tbh i did too!! so here's another little sequel chapter for ya. hope you all enjoy!!

tw for

pregnancy and c-section delivery (both as non-graphic as possible)

miscarriage

panic attacks

postpartum anxiety

and as always if i've missed something please let me know. it is 4am rn so it's. quite possible.

anyway!! enjoy!!

—————

"Janis?" Cady calls from the kitchen one day. Janis groans quietly to herself as she stands from their bed and pads down the long hallway and down the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"Are you busy?" her wife asks, looking up at her with a soft smile. Janis returns it and pulls a chair out from the table to sit on.

"Nope," she says. "What's up?"

"We need to have a... um... a conversation," Cady says hesitantly. Janis quirks an eyebrow.

"Are you making me sign another NDA?" she asks. Cady immediately says no, but in such a way that has Janis wondering if she really means it. Cady does have a lot of papers in front of her.

"There'll be no more of those if I can help it. But... we've been married for five years now. My mother has been pressuring me about this for three of them and I can't take it any longer."

"What is it?" Janis asks, reaching a hand across the table to hold Cady's fidgety ones. Cady looks at her with a relieved smile and places her hand in hers.

"My... my family wants to know when we'll have children," she says softly. Janis blinks.

"Children?"

"It's always been the expectation, and I know you said you wanted them previously but I wasn't sure if you still do, and I haven't known what to say but my mother just will not let the topic rest, and I-"

"Cady," Janis interrupts, squeezing her hand with a chuckle. "Breathe. Yeah. I... I still want kids. Especially with you."

"You do?" Cady asks, blinking at her with those huge blue eyes. Janis nods.

"Of course I do," she says. "Do you?"

"Yes," Cady says quietly. "I do."

"Then what's the problem?" Janis asks, scooting her chair closer.

"We're both women, baby, there are some logistical things to figure out," Cady explains with a chuckle.

"I'm not getting pregnant," Janis says immediately. "Ever. You can do anything you want to me except that."

Cady nods. "That's the problem. I... I finally have the job I've dreamed of since I was a child. I've spent my entire life working for this. And as much as I want children, I... I'm not ready to get pregnant and lose that. I'd have to take a leave when they're born, and there's so much that might go wrong that would take me away for even longer. I'm fine taking a long time off if it means getting to spend time with our baby, but... I'm worried about the long term effects carrying a child might have on me. And how they'd affect my ability to work."

"I know," Janis says. "I completely understand. I don't want that for you either."

"Then... what do we do?"

"We could adopt?" Janis proposes.

"Adopt?" Cady asks.

"Babies are exhausting anyway," Janis says. "We could see about getting a kid that's a little older. Someone who really needs a home."

"That sounds lovely," Cady says. "My mother won't be happy."

"Oh my god, is she ever?" Janis says with a bit of a huff. Cady laughs and kisses the corner of her lips.

"You hush, she's gotten much better," she chides.

"I know," Janis chuckles, winding her arms around Cady's neck and kissing her. Cady wraps her arms around her waist and smiles up at her. "We'll figure it out. I'm sure once she meets the kid she'll be fine with it."

"We'll figure it out," Cady echoes.

—-

Unfortunately, there are some things nobody can figure out. They tried for nearly two years, but every foster agency rejected their applications. Every foreign orphanage did too. All of them said the same thing. It wouldn't be fair to allow one child to live in such splendor for a while and then take them back, or while the rest of them are adopted out to normal families. They tried and tried and tried again, but they were shunned at every turn.

"We got rejected again," Cady sighs, plopping on their bed as she hangs up the phone. Janis puts her book down and reaches for her. Cady lies on her stomach with a huff. Janis chuckles and strokes through Cady's auburn hair.

"I think it might be time to call it, Cads," she admits. "I hate to say it, but it's been years and we haven't gotten anywhere."

"Who'd have ever thought you could be too rich to adopt a child?" Cady grumbles.

"I get where they're coming from," Janis says. Cady nods.

"I know. I do too," she says. "...But I really wanted a child."

"I do too," Janis says. "Maybe... maybe it's time to revisit some things."

Cady leans up on her elbows and looks at her with a puzzled expression. "What do you mean?"

"We both want kids," Janis begins, almost not believing the words coming out of her mouth. "Your mom won't get off our backs until we have them anyway. So... why... why don't we just do it?"

"You mean..."

"Let's knock one of us up," Janis shrugs.

"Janis, I still don't want to-"

"Then we'll knock me up," Janis says. Cady gawks at her.

"What? But you said you never-"

"I know," Janis replies, pulling Cady closer. "But... I've been thinking, and it... it kind of sounds like it might not be so bad. Once. I can take nine months of hell if it means a lifetime raising a little munchkin with you."

"Really?" Cady asks with tears brimming in her eyes. "You'd do that?"

"Yeah," Janis nods, stroking Cady's cheek with her thumb. "We're talking about it first. But think about it. We could have a little baby. With your eyes and your smile, and my hair. And my height."

"Hey!" Cady says indignantly. Janis laughs, and Cady eventually does too. They're quiet for a moment before Cady whispers, "A baby."

"And maybe someday things will be different and we can still adopt. But for now... let's... let's have a baby," Janis says. Cady cups her face between her hands and stares into her eyes.

"Let's have a baby."

—————

"I'm home!" Cady calls the next day as she enters from work. She kicks off her shoes and heads down the hall to the living room where Janis is waiting with a series of documents spread on the coffee table and a pen in her hand. Cady freezes in her tracks.

"My turn to make contracts," Janis says with a smirk. Cady hesitates before she sits down. "Miss Heron."

"Miss Heron," Cady echoes with a smile. "What can I do for you?"

"I have some terms. I think we should get them all... on the table, so to speak. And you can bring up anything you have to. I just don't want us arguing or worrying over anything once we've already gone through with everything."

"Good plan," Cady nods, reaching for the documents to read over. They all turn out to be blank, but Janis pulls out a notepad and writes RULES FOR BABBY in capital letters on the top. "What are your terms, Madam?"

"To clarify. I'm getting pregnant," Janis begins. Cady nods, so Janis writes that down. "I am only getting pregnant once. I want a kid with you, and I'm more than willing to do this so we can get there. But I am not doing it more than once."

"That's fine," Cady says. "I think one baby is plenty for us anyway."

Janis writes that down too. "Since I'm carrying them, I get to accept or refuse any procedures I want."

"Like what?" Cady asks.

"Like if I'm feeling really really sick and I think the gestational diabetes test is gonna make me hurl I get to say no or reschedule it if I want to," Janis explains. Cady nods.

"If you're carrying it I suppose that's only fair. But I get an override if we have medical evidence that either you or the baby are in danger," she insists. Janis considers this point and nods.

"Fair enough. Point three, the baby will be vaccinated on the normal schedule once they're born." she says.

"Obviously," Cady responds. "What else?"

"We both have equal say in picking a pediatrician, but if either of us find anything, the smallest thing, that we don't like about them, we're out of there no questions asked and we find someone else."

"Okay," Cady says.

"Names are a two yes thing only. If one of us doesn't like it the kid doesn't get it," Janis continues. Cady nods. "I don't want to find out the sex until they're born."

"No parties?" Cady pouts. Janis shakes her head vehemently.

"No parties."

"We can't even find out just for us?" Cady asks.

"You know your mom is gonna find worm it out of us if we know," Janis says. "I love her, but the idea of being pregnant around her is exhausting enough without her trying to suggest names and buying an entire nursery for them and everything."

"No, you're right," Cady agrees. "Surprise it is, then. What else?"

Janis adds it to the list. "Um... do you have anything?"

"Uh..." Cady hums. "I want it in writing that I get to come to all of your appointments unless you don't want me there for some reason. And... I don't want to use my eggs."

"You don't?" Janis asks in shock, putting her pen down. Cady looks at her lap and shakes her head. "Hey. Time out, come here. Why... why don't you want to use yours?"

Cady moves to sit next to her wife on the couch and leans into her side with a sniffle. "My... I... I just can't, Jay."

"Why?" Janis asks gently as Cady starts to cry. Janis pulls her closer and squishes her cheek against Cady's head.

"I... I love my family," Cady says hoarsely around a thick lump in her throat. "But-but they have done some-some despicable things in the name of money. That-that's in my blood, Janis. I-I-I don't want to... to pass that down."

"Oh, baby," Janis says as Cady dissolves into sobs against her shoulder.

One of Cady's first orders of business when she became co-CEO of Heron Enterprises with her father was completely revamping their ethics. It's been a slow, and expensive, process, but seeing how Janis was treated gave Cady enough ammunition to be able to talk the board into at least paying their employees a living wage, which is a good first step.

"They have, but you haven't," Janis says. "You've done the opposite, if anything. Even after being raised by your father, you've changed everything. You've basically changed the way the world works, baby. That's in your blood too. That's in you. Just because we use your eggs doesn't mean I'm gonna pop out the next Elon Musk."

"Do not mention that name in this house," Cady growls, wiping her nose with a sniffle. Janis laughs and wipes her tears for her.

"Noted. Should I add that to the list?" she hums. That gets a laugh from her wife.

"Maybe," she hums haughtily. "You... you really want to use mine? You're not worried?"

"Not in the slightest," Janis replies quietly. "Having my own kid would be boring anyway."

Cady laughs again. "I... I guess so."

"I know so," Janis says. "Anything else you want to add?"

"We're both taking off of work two months before and after you're due, at least. I do all the actual work on the nursery, but you can help pick designs and things. No visitors in person for the first month, and we avoid sharing their face in the media as much as we can."

"All good," Janis nods, adding them to the list.

"And no horseback riding lessons when they're old enough for them unless they absolutely beg for them."

"Um... okay," Janis chuckles, knowing her wife's horse phobia still runs deep. Cady hugs her left arm as Janis continues writing.

"Do you have anything else?" she asks. She feels Janis tense beneath her, and she frowns. "What?"

"I want a home birth."

"Absolutely not," Cady says immediately.

"I knew you'd say that," Janis sighs.

"Of course I would! Janis, do you have any idea the number of things that can go wrong during childbirth? Hemorrhaging and-and you could bleed out, you-you-you could die, Jay! And the baby, what if the cord is around their neck, or-or they get stuck? And you could tear, or get hurt otherwise, and we might not be able to get you to the hospital in time-"

"Hey," Janis interrupts. "Stop catastrophizing before I even have the kid in me, hm?"

"Janis, it's so dangerous! I won't allow it," Cady insists.

"It's not any more dangerous than it would be in a hospital," Janis says gently, squeezing Cady's hand. "I'm healthy and... a good size. If we go through with this, the chances of anything going wrong are incredibly slim. I know they're there," Janis continues, cutting Cady off as she was about to interrupt. Cady deflates back against her side with a small huff. "Unless the pregnancy turns out to be high risk for whatever reason, I want it to be here."

"But why?" Cady pleads desperately.

"Because I am going to be in an incredible amount of pain and discomfort no matter what we do, and I don't want to be somewhere I've never been before that smells like disinfectant and bodily fluids while I pop a whole kid out of my body. I trust my body to know what it needs, and I trust you to keep me and the baby safe during it. I want to be able to choose what happens during the process. I want you to be able to be involved as much as you want. We won't get that in a hospital."

Cady is quiet for a long time. "I just don't want you to be in pain."

"I'll still be in pain in a hospital," Janis responds quietly, resting her head against Cady's. "But it's worth it."

Cady cuddles a little bit closer. "We'll do what you want."

"Thank you."

"But," Cady says, and Janis sighs. "If... if it comes down to it, heaven forbid. I'm... I'm picking you over the baby."

"If we ever get there, I trust you to make whatever decisions need to be made," Janis responds just as quietly. "I'll make plans for everything I can. And if it's a situation like that I'll never hold anything you choose to do against you."

Cady nods with a sniffle. "I'm sorry. This should be happy."

"It should be important, and it is," Janis says. "We... we're doing the right thing."

Cady nods. "For us."

"For us," Janis echoes. She tears the list of rules off her notepad and hands it to Cady. "Can you... make this legal, however the hell you do that?"

"'Rules for babby' as the title and all?" Cady says with a watery giggle.

"I'll settle for nothing less," Janis insists. Cady rolls her eyes lovingly and rests her head on Janis' lap.

"You're strange."

"So are you," Janis echoes, gently tapping the tip of her nose. "And we'll have a strange little munchkin before too long."

"Hopefully," Cady sighs.

"We will," Janis insists again. Cady smiles wistfully.

A strange little munchkin.

—————

Cady absolutely insists on hunting down a decent sperm donor for them. Janis would've been perfectly content with an anonymous one so long as they didn't have any genetic conditions, but with everything else going on, she decided this was not the hill to die on.

Cady returned after about six months with one that had as clean a bill of health they could hope for, similar ancestral roots to Janis, and dark hair and eyes almost the same shade as hers. Janis just blinked when she was confronted with all the information and nodded.

Then came time to retrieve Cady's eggs. Janis decided spontaneously that she had changed her mind several times over, watching her poor, needle-phobic wife cry anxiously before her daily shots. Hormones, then the release, and the actual retrieval process itself isn't painless either.

"It'll be worse for you, and you said you'd do it," Cady always sniffled after the rounds were done for the day. "I can handle this."

Before long, they had everything they needed, and it was time.

—-

"You lot have some strong genes," the doctor says as a greeting. "You have seven impressive quality embryos and more that aren't quite so strong. Your chances of a healthy little one are much higher than most we see in here."

Cady smiles down at Janis and squeezes her hand. Janis squeezes back. "We're not putting seven in."

"No, no, heavens no," the doctor laughs immediately. She washes her hands and rolls over a stool to sit on while they talk. "I wouldn't recommend more than three at the absolute most."

"How many do you recommend?" Cady asks.

"For you in particular I would say two. Without wanting to dumb things down, that... doubles your chances of successful implantation. Of course, one alone could also always implant too. I'd just prefer not to see you back so soon if we can help it. And you're strong and healthy, your body can handle two embryos at once until they sort themselves out."

"Two," Janis says. "And what if both... both stick?"

"Then you have twins, and we can discuss what you'd like to do should that happen," the doctor says with a small shrug of her shoulders. "But again, that could also happen with one. Just a matter of fraternal versus identical. Your chances of twins with two embryos aren't all that much higher."

Cady and Janis look anxiously at each other. Twins was a bit more than they bargained for, but... they both have always wanted at least two. And like the doctor says, the chances are low.

"It's up to you, my love," Cady says quietly. Janis has been staring silently at the ceiling since she asked her question, mulling over the realities that are setting in now.

"Do two," she says with a strange lump in her throat, after about five minutes of pure silence.

"Are you sure?" Cady asks. "There's no going back from here."

Janis squeezes her hand and nods. "I'm sure."

The doctor nods and the clinic prepares two embryos. They're implanted a week later.

"And you are now pregnant until proven otherwise, congratulations," the doctor says. Cady tackles her wife in a hug as soon as it's safe to.

"I love you," she says softly.

"I love you too," Janis responds.

—————

It's an anxious few weeks from there. Janis goes from delighted to terrified roughly every thirty seconds, and Cady isn't faring much better.

"What if it didn't work?" she asks anxiously, pacing around their bedroom in the middle of the night. "Or what if it went wrong and damaged your uterus? Or-"

"Caddy," Janis grumbles sleepily from bed. "It's gonna be fine."

"You don't know that! What if you have to get more implanted? You looked so uncomfortable," Cady hums, wringing her hands in front of her.

"I'm gonna be uncomfortable either way. If we lose these then... we'll take some time to process and go from there," Janis says.

"But-"

"Baby," Janis sighs, sitting up and turning on the light. Cady pauses and squints a little bit as she looks at her wife. "Breathe, please. You're stressing me out."

"Sorry," Cady whispers, taking a few deep breaths. "I'm... I'm just worried."

"No shit?" Janis asks with a chuckle. Cady rolls her eyes in her general direction and starts pacing again, albeit much slower. "It's gonna be okay."

"But what if it isn't? What if- what if we're making some terrible mistake? What if we're not ready?"

"Baby, you're just... you... this is just what happened on our wedding day, okay? Even though it was what we both wanted and we knew it would all turn out, we both had cold feet until we were at the end of that aisle holding hands. I'm sure we'll have a few learning curves and whatnot. But... I'm really excited, too."

Cady pauses and looks at her again. She gives Janis a smile warm enough to melt her heart. "I am too."

Janis smiles back. "Yeah?"

Cady nods. "Yeah."

"Come to bed," Janis says, beckoning her over with outstretched arms. Cady sinks into them willingly and nuzzles in close. Janis flips the light back off. They lie together peacefully in the dark for a long, long time.

Janis thinks Cady's finally gone to sleep until she feels her inhale a little bit more heavily and Cady quietly asks, "You're not scared?"

"Are you kidding? Of course I am. I'm fucking terrified," Janis chuckles. "But I'm... not alone."

Cady leans up a little bit and grabs Janis' face between her hands. They have to get quite close to be able to see each other, but she leans in close enough that Janis can see a few vague details of her face in the darkness. "Never. You're never gonna be alone."

Janis smiles and rests a hand over Cady's. "Neither are you."

————-

It's an agonizing wait to find out whether their embryos stuck. It's barely two weeks, but they still don't even make it that long. Cady got so wound up that Janis ended up doing a few tests just to assuage her, but Cady was also too anxious to even look at them. Janis sighed and tucked them away without checking them for the doctors to see the hormone progression.

But, two weeks finally comes, and their tests are almost sure to be accurate at this point. They're both somehow more nervous this time. It feels much more official, even though they're just hanging out in the restroom together while the test sits waiting on the counter.

The timer goes off, and Janis and Cady lock eyes.

"You ready?" Cady asks, taking Janis' hand. Janis takes a deep breath and grabs the test with her free hand. Cady leans into her side, pressing against her arm so she can see the results too.

"It's positive," Janis whispers, biting her lip as delighted tears flow down her face.

"Pos- oh my god!" Cady squeals. She pitches herself at her wife and grabs her face, kissing all over it. Janis laughs and gently grabs Cady's waist to pull her back. "Baby, you're pregnant."

"I'm pregnant," Janis whispers before she gives a shocked laugh. "Holy shit."

"We're having a baby!" Cady says happily. Janis catches her when she throws herself at her again and hugs her so tightly, squeezing her close and resting her chin on her shoulder with a deep sigh.

"What if it's twins?" she whispers.

"Oh my god, can you imagine?" Cady chuckles.

—————

Janis can count on one hand the amount of times her feet touch the floor over the next few weeks. Cady either dotes on her hand and foot herself or gets hired help to do it, much to Janis' dismay. Short of going to the bathroom or walking herself to bed, she's treated like a princess in a tower.

It's nice for the first week or so, but after another, things get old. "Cads, I can get my own grapes. They're grapes."

"You're meant to be resting," Cady protests.

"I am! I haven't done anything but rest for three weeks," Janis huffs. "I'm meant to be exercising and stuff, too."

"Lightly," Cady retaliates.

"I haven't even been able to do that," Janis grumbles. "I need to be able to do a few things for myself or I'm gonna go crazy."

Cady sighs. "I'm sorry."

Janis leans against the counter. "It's okay. Just channel your worry in another direction, please."

"I will," Cady promises. "I'll stop chasing you back to the couch, at least."

Janis comes up behind her and kisses the side of her neck. "Thank you."

"I'm getting these grapes for you, though."

"Fiiiine."

—————

The next few weeks go much smoother. They still have a few small arguments, barely enough to even be called such, but Janis is feeling much better at finally being allowed to move around. She actually spent a whole day refusing to sit down just to make up for it all. Cady had a few things to say about that. They spend their time settling into their new rhythm, having blood work done to confirm Janis is actually officially for-reals pregnant, and relishing in the early days together.

Until one day.

"Caddy?!"

Cady goes running into the bathroom when she hears Janis' panicked yell. Janis jumps a bit when she slams the door open and looks at Cady with anxious tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'm bleeding," she says quietly. "Like, a lot."

Cady looks a little closer. Janis is, indeed, bleeding a fair bit. They'd been told a bit of spotting is normal, but this seems like... more. "Jesus, honey..."

"I think I'm miscarrying," Janis chokes. Cady shakes her head, both in denial and to clear it.

"Don't say that. Not yet. Let's get you cleaned up and go to the hospital," she whispers through her own tears. Her mind went there immediately, and she's almost positive Janis' words are true. But she can't let herself believe that yet. Can't let herself believe they've lost their baby.

She helps Janis get herself situated and into the car. Janis is quiet the entire drive to the hospital. She doesn't cry, she doesn't speak. She barely moves.

Cady bursts into tears halfway there. Janis looks at her and gently takes her hand off the wheel. Cady sniffs and drives with the other. "I'm so sorry, honey."

"For what? It's not your fault," Janis murmurs, holding Cady's hand to her heart and kissing her fingertips.

"I barely let-let you move for three weeks, you've only gotten two to-to really feel like you're pregnant and-and now we're losing them," Cady sobs.

"You were just trying to keep me safe," Janis comforts.

"Yeah, fat lot of good that did," Cady huffs through her tears. "Does it hurt?"

Janis shakes her head. "It's not... comfortable. But finding the blood was a surprise, I'm not hurting or anything."

"Good," Cady says. She takes a breath in vain and trills her lips. Janis squeezes her hand.

"It'll be okay."

"How-how are you so calm?" Cady murmurs.

"Panicking now won't do anything. Might make it worse, actually. And I'm worried about you," Janis shrugs. "There's... always a chance they're okay and this is just a weird thing."

A low chance, Cady insists in her head, but she doesn't say it out loud. "What if it's not?"

"Then we'll figure that out when we find out."

"...You're not really okay, are you?"

Janis' lip quivers and she chokes out, "Not even a little."

-

Cady pulls into the hospital parking lot and pays an amount of money Janis would've balked at had she not been married to a billionaire for seven years for a spot. People stare at them and point as Cady rushes up to the counter and Janis trails slowly behind her. Neither of them care.

"I think my wife is having a miscarriage," Cady pants, trying not to break down in front of the poor hospital receptionist. "She's almost eight weeks pregnant and she's bleeding a lot, I-I'll pay whatever it takes for her to be seen as soon as possible, we-we just need to know-"

The receptionist passes over a box of tissues and pages a doctor. Luckily, they wouldn't have had to wait anyway. They're called back to a small room and a curtain is tugged shut around an examination table to make it even smaller. Cady grips Janis' hand hard enough to nearly break both their fingers, but Janis doesn't even so much as breathe differently, let alone mention it.

A nurse comes in with a mobile ultrasound cart. Cady can't hold back more tears. They were supposed to have their first real ultrasound next week, to see their baby for the first time and make sure they were growing properly. Now they're having one to make sure there's even a baby at all.

They both wait with bated breath as the wand shifts every which way and the nurse frowns at the screen. Cady looks down to see Janis' fingers on her free hand are crossed tightly. She does the same.

"You're not having a miscarriage," the nurse says after what feels like a year, but can't have been more than five minutes. Janis and Cady both let out relieved sobs.

"They're okay?" Janis chokes. "You swear?"

"I swear. Your babies are both fine."

"Our what now?" Cady asks, suddenly very much not crying. Janis freezes beneath her.

"They're both kickin'. Not literally, of course, they don't really have legs yet. But their heartbeats both look steady, and they're charting properly for how far along you are."

"Both?" Janis echoes. "There's-"

"Oh my god, did you not know?" the nurse gasps. "I'm so sorry, I thought you had found out already! Um, you're having twins! Congratulations!"

"Twins?" Cady whimpers in delight. She looks down at Janis. Janis looks back. "They both stuck?"

"They sure did," the nurse chuckles. She turns the screen around so they can see, and sure enough, there's two little black orbs floating in grey static. "You kinda got the Cadillac of twin pregnancies, here. They each have their own placenta and amniotic sac, so they're the least likely to have any complications and things like that. And it means they're almost definitely fraternal. There's a small chance they're identical, but with you having had two embryos implanted and everything, all the signs would point to you having fraternal twins."

"And they're both healthy? I swear if something is wrong with them I will shut this hospital down so fast-"

"Caddy," Janis chuckles. "She knows what she's doing."

"You can see for yourselves. Let me zoom in a bit," the nurse says. She does, and Cady and Janis both look to see what she's doing. "This little blob thing here is baby A's heart, you can see how strong and steady it is. Oh, here."

She fiddles with the machine for a second, and suddenly an echoey pulsing noise can be heard in time with the rapid pulsing on the screen.

"That's their heartbeat?" Cady whispers, quietly sobbing again. The nurse nods with a huge smile on her face.

"Man, I thought I was gonna have to do the sad part of my job today, but I get to do the best part," she says to herself. "Let me find B for you, too."

They wait while she shifts a little bit, and then they watch the other blob's heart and listen to its steady beating for a long time. "Congratulations. I'll go get you all the boring pamphlets and stuff about twins."

"Thank you," Janis chuckles and sniffles at the same time. She wipes her eyes and leans back on the table. Cady watches as she bursts into hysterical laughter, and she can't help but join in.

"What's so funny?" she asks when they've calmed down a bit.

"I don't know," Janis giggles. "We just went from thinking we didn't have any babies to having two, my nerves are totally shot."

"Yeah, mine too," Cady agrees with a smile. "Twins."

Janis stops giggling suddenly, looking at Cady with a remarkably sober expression. "Do... are you... are you okay with twins? Do you want two?"

Cady squeezes her hand for the umpteenth time since they got to the hospital. "I was afraid of it when we put two in."

Janis just blinks at her, with more tension in her body than Cady's ever seen a human hold. Including herself, and that's saying something.

"But now that I know," she continues. "I've never wanted anything more."

Janis smiles. Cady smiles back and bends down to kiss her.

That's how the nurse finds them, so she just quietly leaves the pamphlets and ultrasound photos on the table next to them and ducks back out of the room. Janis is barely in the realm of reality enough to break away from her wife long enough to say, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," the nurse responds, shutting the door behind her.

"Let's go home," Cady whispers against Janis' lips. Janis nods and gives her one last good smooch.

———

"You should still lie down, baby. I know they're healthy, but you've still had a stressful day," Cady says as Janis enters their large house, both of them heaving a sigh of relief.

"...Will you come too?" Janis mumbles, like a small child asking for a hug from their parents. Cady chuckles.

"Of course. Let me get settled, I'll be right there."

Janis nods contently and pads off to the bedroom. Cady grabs her work laptop from the study and a snack for them from the kitchen before she follows her.

Janis is curled up under the covers in their huge bed when she enters, remote in her hand and browsing on the TV for something good to watch. She hesitates on Tangled for a minute before she pulls a face and moves away from princess movies.

Cady swoops in next to her and kisses her cheek. Janis squeals in surprise as Cady gently pushes her backwards onto the bed and pins her down. Cady hovers on her elbows so she doesn't put any pressure on Janis' stomach before she leans down and kisses her soundly. Janis hums in surprise, but she quickly winds a hand into Cady's hair and tilts her head to the side to kiss her back.

"I love you," Cady whispers between long kisses. "The gorgeous mother of my babies."

"Plural," Janis whispers back.

"Thank you," Cady murmurs against her lips. "For doing this."

"You're welcome," Janis chuckles. "But this does mean you're probably gonna have to take a little more time off work than we planned."

"I am anyway, whether something happens or not. Three months both ways, at least," Cady says immediately.

Janis frowns in confusion. "But your dad-"

"Is my boss. If he gets mad at me for taking time off to care for his daughter-in-law and grandbabies he can suck eggs."

Janis laughs and twists little pieces of Cady's hair together. "But you love your work."

"I love you more," Cady says with a shrug. "You're pregnant with twins, darling, it's going to take a fair bit out of you. I want to spoil you as much as I can throughout this. And if that means taking some time off earlier than I need to or working from home, then... so be it."

"Such a devoted mama," Janis grins. Cady pulls back a bit and looks into her eyes. "Baby, why are you crying?"

"I'm gonna be a mama," Cady sobs quietly.

"Yeah," Janis chuckles, reaching up to wipe her tears away. "Did you just notice?"

"No, it's just... it's the first time we've said it," Cady laughs with a sniffle. "We're going to be mamas, Jay."

"We are," Janis agrees.

Cady slides down a bit and gently tugs Janis' shirt up. Janis tips up on her elbows to look at her confusedly. Cady doesn't give her any response before she leans in and carefully presses kisses all over her tummy.

"That tickles," Janis laughs, squirming under the pressure of her wife's lips.

"I'm kissing my babies, it's not my fault they're in you," Cady retaliates, pressing another just above her belly button.

"It kinda is, though," Janis responds. "Dork."

"Hmph," Cady hums, continuing her onslaught of kisses. Janis simply chuckles and accepts her fate.

————-

"Janis!" Cady says, eagerly running into the room about a month later. Janis jumps so hard she nearly falls out of bed.

"What happened? What's the matter?" she asks frantically. Cady is panting like she just ran a marathon and brandishes her phone.

"Guess what?"

"What?" Janis asks desperately, rolling out of bed and going over to her wife.

"The babies are the size of figs!" Cady squeals like this is the most exciting news in the world. Janis pauses.

"Figs?"

"Uhhuh! Look," Cady says, showing Janis an image on her phone. Janis looks at the screen and chuckles.

"I thought someone died," she sighs in relief. "How big even is a fig?"

"Uh... this one says they're as big as brussels sprouts," Cady offers, switching to another app and allowing Janis to see she has about twelve. "And this is what they really look like, aren't they cute? They have little legs now! And it says they're already kicking but you probably won't feel it for a few more weeks."

Janis tilts her head as she looks at the graphic of the little fetus on Cady's phone screen. She thinks it looks a little more like some kind of alien shrimp creature, but she's just glad Cady's excited. "Does it say anything about when I'll stop vomiting every day?"

"Well, you're out of the first trimester after next week, so hopefully then," Cady says, gently cupping Janis' cheek. "I'm sorry you've been so sick."

Janis shrugs. "Two little goblins in there pushing on my insides. Kinda makes sense."

Cady giggles. "Hey, those are our little goblins."

"And they're gonna be goblins until they're about eighteen," Janis snorts.

"Cute goblins, though."

"They better be. Least they can do," Janis replies.

Cady laughs again. Her smile gradually softens and she leaves her hand cupping Janis' cheek. Their conversation fades for a short moment before she murmurs, "You're so beautiful."

Janis feels herself blush and tries to look away. Cady follows her gaze and shifts her hand to rest on the small, but steadily growing, baby bump.

"And this is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life."

"Stop it," Janis whines. "I'm too hormonal for this."

Cady giggles and shakes her head. "Hm-mm. I'm gonna tell you every day. You're getting that glow, and seeing you with this little tummy makes me so happy. And I know you're gonna be the most amazing, beautiful mother."

"Nah," Janis hums, pulling Cady in closer and pressing her lips gently against the curve of her jaw. "You are."

"No way," Cady scoffs. "You're the one doing all the work. You've got all the chemicals and hormones in there making you even prettier than you were before."

"I really am gonna start crying if you keep this up," Janis warns. Cady laughs and fiddles with the ends of her hair as Janis rests her head on her shoulder.

"Fine. Then can I talk to the sprouts?"

"The sprouts?"

"The babies," Cady says like it's obvious.

"Oh," Janis laughs. "Um... sure. I don't know if they can hear you yet, but-"

"I don't care, it's a good habit to start forming," Cady says immediately.

Janis sighs lovingly and goes to lie back down. She lies on her side, and Cady lies facing her, scooting close enough that her lips brush against Janis' tummy. Janis smiles and runs her nails gently through the roots of her hair. Cady gives the babies a proper greeting, and explains her entire side of the family. She tells them how she and Janis met, and about what dating her was like, how their wedding went, and how excited they were when they found out about them.

Janis smiles lovingly the whole time, chuckling occasionally at the seriousness with which Cady is talking to their unborn children that may or may not actually have ears.

Cady ends her softly spoken tirade with, "And I know you have a lot more growing yet to do, and I want you to do that. But your mother and I are so, so, so excited to meet you. You're going to be the most perfect babies ever. And we're gonna love you so much. We already do."

Janis sniffles, prompting Cady to look up at her. Cady wiggles so she's actually at her eye level and leans in to give Janis a comforting kiss. Janis whispers, "I love you."

"I love you so much," Cady echoes. "All three of you."

—————

"I'm worried Maddie's going to faint," Cady says anxiously as they get ready for her family's Fourth of July celebration. Janis laughs from the bedroom where she's finishing getting dressed.

"She might," she agrees. Madeleine always at least gets teary when one of her sisters-in-law announces a pregnancy. Twins might be too much for her. "Callum's still strong, he'll catch her."

"Maybe I'll stand behind her," Cady says, fussing over her lipstick. Janis enters the restroom behind her, and they lock eyes in the mirror. Cady can't help the wide smile that splits across her face.

"What?" Janis asks, sheepishly adjusting her overalls over her red shirt.

"Nothing," Cady replies.

"What?" Janis insists with a whine. She's gotten much fussier during her pregnancy, which Cady is weirdly delighted by. It's almost endearing, and she's more than happy to assuage whatever is plaguing her sweet wife in the moment.

"You're just so cute. The overalls and the belly. I can't take you," Cady giggles, turning around to face her. She rests a hand on either side of her wife's tummy and leans in for a kiss. She has to lean a little further every week. Janis happily kisses her back.

"You messed up your lipstick again," Janis whispers when they break apart to breathe.

"Worth it," Cady breathes back before leaning in again.

—-

Not all of Cady's siblings made it to the celebration. Christmas is a priority for the family, but most often they spend other holidays scattered around the world with various other loved ones. And, though she'd never admit it, her favorites did make it. Clark is here, Callum and Madeleine are here with their four children, and Clifton and Hannah with their two daughters.

Janis stands behind Cady to hide her belly while everyone mills around on one of the docks waiting for burgers and hot dogs to be grilled. One of the house chefs is making them, but Cady's dad is thoroughly supervising as though he has any idea what he's doing.

Janis gently winds her arms around Cady's shoulders and kisses her neck. She shifts her lips higher and whispers, "You ready?"

"Are you? Everyone's gonna want to touch your belly, are you okay with that? I'll fight them off," Cady whispers back. Janis chuckles and kisses her jaw.

"No, it's okay. I figured they would, I can handle it for a while," she replies.

"Remember the signals. If you change your mind. I'll throw someone in the lake if I have to," Cady says insistently.

"Even your mom?"

"Especially my mom."

"Damn. You're committed," Janis chuckles.

Cady shrugs and gently leans back against her. "I'm kind of surprised nobody's noticed yet."

"We're being totally inconspicuous," Janis chuckles sarcastically. "I'd like to tell them before I start eating for three so I don't get stared at, though."

Cady laughs out loud at that. A few of her family members look at her and she freezes, but they just smile and return back to whatever they were doing. "You'll be fine. Should we just do it now?"

Janis shrugs. "Up to you."

Cady kisses her for strength and takes a deep breath. "Hey, uh..."

"Did you say something, dear?" Cady's mother asks. "Speak up."

"Yeah, but this is kind of for everybody to hear. We have a little surprise," Cady says. Her mother helpfully takes over.

"Everyone! Gather 'round, please, Cadence has something for us," she yells. Everyone except the chef puts down what they were doing and circles around them.

"What is it? Do we get presents?" the youngest child, Zacharias, asks eagerly. Cady laughs and reaches to ruffle his hair.

"Not this time, kiddo, sorry," she says apologetically. Zach pulls a small face and seems visibly disappointed, but he cheers up when his big brother Lennox wraps an arm around his shoulders and rubs his knuckles through his hair.

"Ow, Lenny!" he says eventually.

"Boys, settle down," Madeleine scolds gently. "What is it, Cades?"

Cady freezes. She's not even the pregnant one, and she can't get the words out. Janis frowns in concern for a moment and gives her a little squeeze.

"We're pregnant," Cady says hastily. "Well, mostly her. But, yeah."

Pandemonium is not a strong enough word for what breaks out. Confused children get shoved out of the way by older siblings and parents screaming in excitement, and Cady and Janis are wrapped in more arms than they can count within seconds.

"Oh my god, congratulations! My little Cady's all grown up!" Madeleine says around happy tears. "Having a baby of her own, I can't believe it!"

Janis smiles widely. "About that."

Madeleine snaps to look at her, and her eyes widen. "No." Janis nods, her smile growing. Madeleine screams in delight and runs in to hug her alone. "Twins?!"

"Triplets," Janis replies. That gets her. Madeleine collapses in her arms, and she barely has the strength to pass her to Callum. "Kidding. Yeah, just twins."

"Congratulations," Callum says, tapping Madeleine's cheeks as he tries to revive her. "And thanks for breaking my wife."

"You're very welcome," Janis replies with a mischievous smile. Cady gently whacks her arm. "Hey!"

"You stinker," Cady giggles. She squeaks as her parents both tackle her in a hug. She looks at Janis with eyes wide as saucers. You'd think she'd just been bitten by a shark.

"Congratulations, dear," her dad says. "Twins?"

Cady nods. "Twins."

"Why aren't you carrying them?" her mother asks.

"Because Janis wanted to," Cady responds.

"Are you planning on more?"

"Not at the moment."

"When is she due?" her mother asks.

"December," Janis replies. "But they'll probably be early, so we don't really know."

"Are you planning on breastfeeding?"

"Mother! Enough with the questions, please," Cady pleads. "Please just be happy for us, let us do this the way we need to."

Her mother humphs a little bit, but she does smile and squeeze her the slightest bit. Cady relaxes ever so slightly into it. Janis watches with a proud smile, and jumps when she's beckoned over to join the hug. "Oh, but you must let me throw you a baby shower."

"A small one," Cady says. "Like, brunch group small."

"Oh, bah," her mother says. "You're no fun."

"Mother," Cady says warningly.

"Fine, fine. No more than thirty people. Janis, I'll need contact information for your people so I can get things arranged," she says.

"Of course," Janis chuckles. "You'll finally get to see Damian again."

Damian and Cady's mother had met for the first time at their wedding and, somehow, got on like a house on fire. Apparently they still text regularly with party planning tips and quiche recipes, and have semi-regular coffee dates.

"Oh, that darling," Cady's mother says eagerly. "I can't wait. Congratulations again, loves."

"Thanks mom," Cady says with a smile. Her mother smiles back and kisses her cheek before she goes on to join in the suddenly much more lively celebrations.

"Surprised she hasn't already insisted on doing the nursery," Janis hums as she wraps Cady in the closest thing to a hug they can manage around her belly. Cady laughs.

"She only just found out, she's got to have enough time to come up with a theme and things," she replies. Janis laughs with her.

"Do you have any theme ideas?"

"Do you even want a themed nursery?" Cady retaliates, looking up at her with genuine interest. Janis considers this quite valid point.

"...Depends on the theme."

"Circus?" Cady suggests. Janis looks at her incredulously.

"I'm terrified that that was your first suggestion," she says. Cady laughs.

"I wasn't really serious," she says, saving herself in the eyes of her wife. "Dinosaurs?"

"Dinos might be cute," Janis agrees with a nod. She herself absolutely loved dinosaurs as a kid. It's definitely something to consider. "What about, like, just animals? Or safari or something."

"Oh, that would be adorable," Cady coos.

"Yo, mamas! Come eat," Clark hollers at them, interrupting their discussion. They both jump a bit and laugh as they head to join the line for cheeseburgers and hot dogs.

"We'll figure it out," Janis says as she sees the gears still clunking around in Cady's head.

"I know," Cady says. "I just like knowing things ahead of time."

"I know you do," Janis chuckles. "We have plenty of time. I'm only eighteen weeks."

"Almost nineteen. We're nearly halfway through, and the babies will probably be early, there's so much to do-" Cady says, getting progressively more frantic.

"Caddy," Janis interrupts, putting down both their plates so she can take and squeeze Cady's hands. "It's gonna be fine, okay? The babies aren't even gonna be in the nursery for a few months. They could come tomorrow and we'd be able to figure it out. Even if they come early, they'll be okay with a nursery that isn't perfect."

"They'd better not come tomorrow, you're not past the viability point yet," Cady mumbles. Janis laughs.

"There's my girl."

Cady smiles and tucks herself into her wife for a quick hug. She takes a detour when she pulls back to kiss Janis' belly, and then leans up to kiss Janis too. She bats Janis' hands away from picking her plate back up, and piles it high with all the delicious sides and carries it to the table on her behalf.

"Thanks," Janis says when she sits down next to her. Cady just nods and takes her hand under the table. Janis gives her a squeeze, and Cady squeezes back.

They stay like that throughout the meal, absentmindedly eating with their free hands and making casual conversation with relatives. Zach is very excited now that he knows he's getting two new little cousins soon and lovingly pesters his still-recovering mother with lots of questions about where babies come from and things of that sort. Janis snorts into her potato salad when he incredulously asks, "They're gonna come out her vagina?!"

Everyone else returns to their various activities once the meal is done and digested. Kids leap into the lake, parents stand anxiously watching from the shore or join in themselves. Cady's parents go inside for a nap, and Cady and Janis spread out a blanket on the sand and lie down together. Cady leans in and presses her lips against the top of Janis' rounding tummy a few times before she nuzzles in a little higher. Janis wraps her arm around her and holds her close, kissing the side of her nose as Cady also drifts off for a quick little cat nap in the sand.

Janis smiles to herself as she rests her head down against her other arm and watches her wife sleep.

God, I hope they look like you.

—————-

The next morning, Janis gets the wits scared out of her by Cady sitting bolt upright in bed next to her with a quite dramatic gasp.

"Jesus, what happened?" Janis gasps herself. Cady turns to look at her with a stricken look.

"We forgot to tell Damian!"

"Oh," Janis sighs in relief. "Don't do that, I thought you were having a heart attack or something."

"Oh. Sorry," Cady says sheepishly. "I can't believe we forgot to tell him, though!"

Janis chuckles and pulls her wife back against her. "Cads, it's not a big deal. We only told your family yesterday."

"But we told yours a week ago, we should've told him then!"

"Let's just do it now, hm?" Janis offers. Cady nods. "He's gonna scream, watch out for your ears."

"Just turn the volume down," Cady says. Janis pulls her phone out and texts Damian asking if he's available for a Facetime. She grabs one of her positive tests from her nightstand drawer and holds it, figuring that'll be the simplest way to get him to understand.

"Hey babes," Damian greets when the call connects. "Ugh, look at those pretty faces."

"Hi Damian," Cady greets with a giggle.

"Angel, how are you?! It's been too long," Damian says.

"It has! You have to come up to see us sometime soon. I can't believe it's already been a month, usually we can't even make it a week!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. My show schedule has been crazy," Damian says. He'd been cast in a production of The Wedding Singer and unfortunately had to devote too much time to that to be able to visit them on their normal schedule. "I miss you guys."

"We miss you too," Cady says. Janis nods.

"You guys should come see the show!" Damian offers. They usually do, but Janis wasn't up for the traveling, being so sick most days.

"We want to," Janis says apologetically. "I don't think we'll be able to this time. But we're cheering you on in spirit, baby boo."

"Thanks," Damian says, striking a remarkably homosexual pose. Cady and Janis both laugh. "Bummer you guys can't make it."

"Yeah, we're sorry," Cady says. "I'm sure you're great, though. And it'll be more than worth it."

"Worth it? What do you mean? If you guys can't come you can't come, it's no... big..."

Janis held up the test in the middle of him speaking, and they watch him take a few seconds to process before they have to mute him entirely to save any scrap of their hearing. When they see his mouth start to move in recognizable shapes again, they turn the sound back on.

"-baby! Holy shit, congratulations! I can't believe it! A baby! I'm gonna be an uncle!"

"It's twins," Cady says. Janis has to mute her phone again. Cady recognizes his lip movements partway through. "No, we're not fucking with you, we're really having twins."

It's a solid ten minutes before they can unmute him this time.

"My mom wants your help throwing her baby shower, she'll be in touch about that soon," Cady says when he's gone from the screaming phase to the hysterical sobbing phase.

"Of course! Oh my god, I'm gonna be a twuncle!" he sobs.

"No. New word," Janis says immediately.

"Twinkle."

"No."

"You have plenty of time to think of something tolerable," Cady interrupts. "And we'll be sure to bring them along to your next show. Well, once they're old enough."

"Yes! Oh my god, I can't wait. Okay, I have to go now or I'm gonna be late for work. I love you both and those little babies blossoming in your uterus very much. Have a wonderful life."

"Bye, weirdo," Janis snorts, hanging up on him and dropping the phone somewhere to be lost in the duvet. "There. Everyone is told."

"That's a relief."

—————

"Caddy!"

Cady goes tearing through the house and crashing into the room when she hears Janis yell for her. It sounds panicked. We can't be going through this again. They were fine the first time. Not again. "What happened?! What's the matter, are you bleeding again?! What's wrong?!"

"No, no, come here!" Janis insists eagerly. Cady pauses and reassesses when she sees her wife is actually... laughing. No bleeding, then.

Confused, Cady heads over to her wife. Janis grabs her hand and rests it right on the front of her belly.

"Feel," she says.

"Feel what?" Cady asks.

"Just keep your hand there," Janis says. Cady frowns at Janis' belly, but obediently keeps her hand where it was placed. After about thirty seconds, there's a little bump right against her palm. Cady screams and jerks her hand away before she realizes what it was and quickly puts it back.

"Oh my god! They're kicking!" she squeals.

"They're kicking," Janis agrees, laughing and crying at the same time.

"That means they have feet!" Cady says eagerly. Janis laughs harder.

"I- yeah, it does," she nods. "Doesn't it feel crazy?"

"Yeah," Cady agrees quietly. Janis frowns sadly when she suddenly lets out a sob. "That's our baby. Our baby's in there. Kicking you."

"And there's another one too," Janis hums, brushing Cady's hair out of her face and kissing her cheek. "We're getting pretty close now."

Cady nods again, but doesn't say anything. Janis is perfectly content to let her rove her hands all over her tummy, feeling for every little motion their babies make. Eventually, little jolts start happening at regular intervals on the other side.

"I think A has the hiccups," Janis giggles. "That's where they were on the last exam. B must've been the kicker then."

"They're so cute," Cady says with a sniffle, feeling each little jolt caused by each hiccup.

"Says you. You try having something with the hiccups inside you," Janis chuckles.

"Does it hurt?"

"Nah. It's just... really fucking weird, Cads," Janis replies. Cady laughs.

"I can imagine." She leans down and presses her lips to the right side of Janis' belly to talk to that baby in particular. "Hey, hold your breath! You're making your mother uncomfortable!"

Janis laughs again. "He can't help it."

"He?"

"I think we have at least one boy in there," Janis hums as Cady straightens back up.

"Really?" Cady asks. Janis nods.

"I'm almost positive," she replies. "What do you think?"

"I... I don't know," Cady replies. "I haven't had any... feelings."

Janis smiles and wraps her in as tight of a hug as they can manage. They slowly sway around their bedroom as they continue speaking. "I guess that makes sense. It's probably harder when they're not inside you."

"How crass," Cady giggles.

"I'm a heathen, remember? It's in my job description to be crass," Janis chuckles, kissing Cady's neck. They're quiet for a moment before she asks, "What do you want?"

"In what way?" Cady whispers back.

"Do you want sons? Daughters?" Janis asks. She doesn't sound like she's particularly fussed with whatever Cady says. She sounds like she genuinely wants to know.

"I just want all of you to be healthy," Cady replies.

"Come on, we both know that's a load of shit," Janis says. "As long as you know you'll love them even if they don't turn out that way, what do you want?"

Cady laughs. "In that case... I really hope you're right. One of each would be so sweet. But even if we have two boys or two girls, they'll be perfect. But I really, really just want two healthy babies and my healthy, beautiful wife."

"One of each would be fun," Janis agrees. "I guess we'll find out."

"And we'll find out soon!"

—————

"Ceiling would be a good name," Cady says quietly one night. Janis leans up on her elbows to squint incredulously at her wife in the darkness.

"You want to name one of our babies Ceiling?"

"I didn't say that. But if it didn't mean what it does, I think it would be a nice name. It has a good sound to it," Cady says, suddenly sounding much more sheepish. Janis laughs and cuddles into her side.

"I guess it does," she agrees. "But we're not naming our baby that. I know we're rich and famous, but we're not that rich and famous."

"No, of course not," Cady says immediately.

"Ceiling would be a good name, though," Janis agrees now that she's given it more thought.

"There's lots of words like that."

"Like what?"

"That would be nice names if they didn't mean what they mean," Cady says.

"...Like what?" Janis asks again.

Cady thinks for a moment. "Basket."

Janis considers this and nods. "I guess it does sound kind of name-ish."

"I told you! There's all sorts," Cady says.

"Cardigan," Janis says. Cady nods eagerly.

"Yeah, exactly!" she says. "I'm so relieved you understand my nonsensical ramblings most of the time."

"Most of the time they're actually pretty sensical," Janis chuckles. "But your ramblings are always my favorite."

"Hush," Cady scoffs quietly. Janis laughs and shakes her head.

"Nah."

She can almost hear Cady rolling her eyes, even though she can't see it in the dark. Janis can't help but continue thinking of words that could fit as names in alternate universes.

"Paper," she says quietly. Cady nods.

"Sofa."

"Enough," Janis continues. Cady deflates a little. "No, like, as a name. It has a fun sound."

"Oh! Yeah, you're right," Cady giggles. "Carrot."

"Carrot is great," Janis chuckles. "Ceiling and Carrot."

Cady laughs so hard she nearly pushes Janis off her. Janis can't contain her giggles either, and they spend a frankly concerning amount of time giggling at nothing in the darkness together.

Janis wipes tears of laughter from her eyes. "Android."

"Band," Cady says.

"Prophecy," Janis says with incredible drama.

Cady gives an oooh and thinks quietly for a moment. "...Chlamydia."

"Wh- Caddy!" Janis splutters out a shocked laugh.

"What?! I'm not saying anyone should name a baby that! I'm just saying that if it wasn't... that, it has a pretty sound!" Cady defends. She's laughing more at Janis' near-uncontrollable laughter than the actual idea of naming a baby after an STI.

Janis presses her forehead to Cady's shoulder and continues giggling into the blankets. When she calms down again, she says, "I love you."

"I love you too," Cady says softly.

"I'm glad we still know how to make each other laugh," Janis continues, ghosting a touch over Cady's collarbones with her pointer finger.

"I am too," Cady replies, tucking her head against Janis'. "I'm glad I have you to keep me smiling."

"I'm glad I have you to give me some excitement," Janis murmurs.

"I'm glad I have you," Cady says plainly.

"I'm glad I have you too," Janis murmurs. Cady adjusts them to such a position that she can lean in for a sweet, soft, lingering kiss. "And I'm glad I get to do that whenever I want."

Cady smiles and gently flicks her ear. "Goof."

"Oh, I'm the goof for being glad I have the hottest wife in the world that I get to kiss whenever I want?"

"Yes, because you don't have the hottest wife in the world," Cady giggles. "I do."

Janis scoffs. "Maybe before you knocked me up. With twins, might I add."

Cady shakes her head. "Especially now."

"...Really?"

"Of course, really," Cady giggles again. "You've always been beautiful. And you always will be beautiful to me. No matter how you feel about yourself. You're beautiful now, even though you're not happy with your body. You're carrying our babies. I don't know if you've ever been so beautiful. You always were, of course, but now... I can't stop looking at you. And you'll be beautiful when you're all wrinkly and your hair is all grey and we're sitting in rocking chairs together somewhere and we can only eat soup."

Janis chuckles and leans in for another kiss. "You really think you'll wanna be with me when all I can eat is soup?"

"Of course. Don't you?" Cady asks.

"Yeah. You'll be a cute old lady," Janis says immediately. Truth be told, she's always pictured the same thing. Every new line or scar on Cady's body is a revelation. A sign that she's changing. She's aging. Janis is always excited to get to know the new her with the new changes, slight as they are. As terrifying as it is, she's excited to be an old lady if it means she gets to know Cady as one too.

It's nice to know she feels the same.

Janis kisses her one more time. "Do you have any, like... real ideas for their names?"

Cady shakes her head. "Not really. I've had a few that sounded nice, but nothing has really given me that definite yes sort of feeling yet. Do you?"

"I have one I'd really like if we have a girl," Janis says quietly. "But I kind of want to wait until they're born and name them when we see them."

"I'd like that," Cady says. "What's the name?"

"You'll find out if we meet her," Janis hums smugly. Cady scoffs.

"Stinker."

"Hey, you were the one just going on about how excited you are to see me as a grandma," Janis retaliates with a giggle.

"I take it back," Cady sighs lovingly. "You're such a goofball."

"I'm not the one who wants to name a baby Chlamydia."

"I said I don't!" Cady insists before they break into peals of laughter again. Janis joins in, pressing her forehead against her wife's and laughing against her lips.

"God, we're gonna be parents."

—————

The next day they giggle about it all again on their way to their ultrasound appointment to see that the babies are still developing on track. Janis is used to it all by now, but she still shivers at the chilly gel rubbed onto her stomach.

"Aww," Cady coos when one of their babies' faces is visible on the screen. Janis smiles and watches too.

"That's B today, getting that sweet little face growing just fine," the doctor says as she shifts the wand all around and takes measurements of their limbs.

Janis and Cady chat while the scan continues. Little things, like what they want for dinner; they really should call Damian, it's been so long; look how cute the baby's little fingers are.

"Hm," the doctor hums softly, looking at the scan with a small frown before referring back to her notes. Cady and Janis' conversation halts in its tracks, and they both turn to see her. "You're planning on a home birth?"

"Yes," Cady says, squeezing Janis' hand.

"I'm afraid that might not be possible," the doctor says in concern.

"Why not? Are the babies okay? What-what's the matter with them?"

"As far as I can see, they're both still perfectly healthy," the doctor soothes immediately, noticing both of them starting to panic. "But you have a little troublemaker in there."

She shifts the wand a bit for another angle to confirm her suspicions, and she nods gravely. "Your baby A in here is the issue. They're in what we call the frank breech position."

"But they're okay?" Cady asks desperately.

"I can't see spectacularly well, but they've been doing just fine in all your previous scans, I don't think anything could've gone terribly wrong with them in the meantime."

"But what does that mean? Why can't I have a home birth?" Janis asks, sighing in relief now that she has reassurance that the baby is okay.

"Well," the doctor sighs and rolls over to a cabinet, pulling out a baby doll. She curls it gently in on itself. "Ordinarily babies are sort of curled up like this, and then they straighten out during delivery to come out safely. B is like that, you can see them here."

"Okay," Janis says. "Doesn't breech just mean they're upside down? Won't they flip over before I go into labor?"

"Ordinarily, yes," the doctor explains. "But frank breech means that your baby is... like this."

Cady and Janis both blink in shock as she folds the doll sharply in half.

"Their legs are up in front of their face, in this sort of V-shaped position. Look here," she says. Cady and Janis both look at the screen. "Those are feet, and that's their ear. At about the same level."

"Oh," Janis says. She can't hold back a giggle, in spite of the bad news.

"For pregnancy it's perfectly fine, even if it does make it harder for me to check on them. But for delivery... it's, er... well, to be frank with you ladies, the baby would likely come out bum-first. With a vaginal birth, that puts an incredible amount of strain on both the baby and you."

Janis can imagine delivering a baby bent in half would indeed be considerably more painful. "So... I-I have to have a C-section?"

"I don't want to dash all your hopes just yet, but I'd expect so. With you carrying twins, they're very cramped for room in there, so I don't expect they'll straighten out in time for you to deliver naturally. You'll be having weekly scans from now on anyway, but if they don't unfold before you're about 36 weeks it's almost a definite, unfortunately."

"Damn it, kid," Janis tuts under her breath. "As long as they're healthy. They can come out however they want to."

"B is doing just fine, A's heart looks great. And their legs are clearly growing on schedule to be so long. Anything else isn't really an immediate concern, just keep an eye on how you're feeling and make sure you get here every week for those scans."

"We will," Cady says, squeezing Janis' hand. Janis nods.

The doctor wipes the gel off of Janis' belly before she leaves. Janis pulls her shirt back down and sits up with Cady's help.

She's almost silent again as they walk to the car, and most of the way home. Every time Cady looks at her she seems fine, almost content, but Cady has reason to believe otherwise. "Are you okay, my love?"

Janis looks at her, and she seems almost confused. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"...Because your entire birth plan has to change now? You were very adamant about what you wanted and now you're being forced into practically the opposite."

Janis shrugs. "I kinda figured I wouldn't be able to have a home birth once we found out there were twins. I've had plenty of time to prepare for the possibility of things changing. I'd still prefer that, but if I have to have a C-section then I have to have a C-section. I don't think trying to fight it will do any good."

"I'm still sorry you're not getting your... is dream birth a weird thing to call it?"

"Yes," Janis laughs immediately. "It's really fine, Cads. As long as they're out of me by the end of the day, at this point I couldn't give a flying fuck how it happens. And this way I won't have to work so hard."

"You'll still have to work very hard," Cady says in concern.

"I know. But hopefully I won't get all sweaty," Janis says. Cady chuckles and takes her hand.

"That's what you're worried about?"

"I don't have anything else to worry about right now," Janis says with a shrug. "If we find something else to worry about then I'll worry about it. But I hate being sweaty, so hopefully that won't happen now."

"I love you," Cady says. Janis turns to look at her and smiles.

"I love you too."

Cady continues driving, and they're silent until they're nearly home. Cady fidgets with Janis' fingers with her free hand and quietly says, "We get to pick their birthday this way."

"Exactly," Janis chuckles. "You're getting it."

—————

After much discussion, they pick November 16th to be their babies' birthday. They were told to pick a day in mid-November to avoid Janis going into labor as best they could, and to give the babies enough time to finish growing. They didn't want it close to Halloween, but also not too close to Thanksgiving. And Cady likes even numbers, so the 16th was a quick pick.

The weeks fly by, the hospital bag is packed. Cady dances around the house the morning of as they gather all their things and drive to the hospital. "We're having babies today!"

"This is really not a we thing," Janis grumbles crankily.

"We get to meet our babies today!" Cash amends. Janis chuckles and squeezes her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"As well as I can knowing I'm about to be sliced open and have twins removed from me," Janis replies. Cady blinks, but she nods.

"Okay. That's... definitely one way of putting what's about to happen," she replies. "Are you scared?"

Janis nods. Cady pouts.

"I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right there with you, I won't let anything happen to you. Or to them. I promise."

"I know," Janis says softly, squeezing her hand again in thanks. "That's the only thing keeping me from totally spiraling right now."

"If they do anything I will shut that place down so fast. Everyone's getting fired, I swear to god," Cady says. Janis laughs.

"Caddy, it'll be fine. I know it will, but knowing I'm about to be numbed from the tits down for like, multiple hours, and again, have babies removed from my stomach just isn't the most pleasant idea."

Cady is quiet for a moment. "I'm still gonna fire them all. I'll hire new better doctors myself and get the best ones to make sure you're okay."

"You've already gotten me into the best hospital for C-sections in the state, babe, we'll be fine," Janis chuckles. "Calm down a little. Rage later if you need to, but don't get yourself all worked up now."

"I'm just excited," Cady mumbles sheepishly. Janis smiles.

"Good."

"Are you?"

"God, yeah," Janis chuckles. "Our little munchkins are coming today. And I don't have to be pregnant anymore. I'll probably be able to sleep on my stomach again by tomorrow night!"

“That's what you're excited about?" Cady giggles."You don't know, man. You try being pregnant with twins sometime," Janis huffs.

"No, I'm alright, thank you," Cady says immediately. Janis laughs. "I think one set is plenty for us."

"Definitely," Janis chuckles. "God, I saw in the news the other week that this couple did the same thing we did but both their eggs split and they ended up with quadruplets."

"Heavens," Cady shivers. The idea of the two of them raising two babies, even with all their money, is frightening enough. She can scarcely imagine four. At a stoplight, she bends over and kisses Janis' belly. "Thank you for staying how we put you."

Janis laughs again. "How are you feeling?"

"I have never been so afraid in my life," Cady says honestly. "But I've never been so excited either."

——

They both have the jitters by the time they pull into the hospital parking lot. Janis waddles slowly behind Cady as they head inside. Cady pauses at the door, knowing they'll be leaving with their babies. This is the last door they'll enter as a family of two, before their two and two make four.

Cady gets them all signed in, and then they have about an hour to get used to things before their surgery is scheduled. Cady cracks some very weak dad jokes, but Janis laughs all the same and gives her adoring smiles with each one. "You gotta step up your game, babe."

"I know," Cady whines after a particularly bad one about blankets for the babies to be kept at 'womb temperature'. Janis smiles and pats her hand.

"You'll get there. They won't be able to understand them for a good few years anyway," she says comfortingly. Cady smiles and leans in to kiss her.

That turns out to be the last practice shot she gets. Doctors come pouring in to get Janis dosed up and the both of them into sterile clothes. Cady is suddenly hit with the realization that this is all happening, like, right now as Janis is wheeled to the operating room and she's left to run after them.

It takes a very

very

very

long time.

Janis doesn't exactly look comfortable, but she doesn't complain of any pain. She does mention offhandedly that it feels like she's being squashed by an elephant, but that's the extent of her complaints. Cady is the one with most of them.

"This is taking forever," she whines into Janis' shoulder behind the partition. Janis tries not to laugh and risk jostling anything while someone has the fancy equivalent of a knife held at her gut.

"I don't know about you, but I'd prefer they take their time," she responds. "It can't be much longer. You've waited eight and a half months, we almost get to meet them now."

"The anticipation is killing me," Cady huffs. "I want our babies out and you safely put all back together and I want to take all of you home and love on you until they're in college."

Janis smiles. "I love you."

Cady smiles back and leans down to kiss her. "I love you too."

"Oh!" the doctor suddenly exclaims, and Cady is on her feet in a flash.

"What happened?! Are they okay? Is she okay?" she says desperately.

She freezes as she hears a shrill cry split the air. She looks down at Janis, who smiles dopily back at her. Tears start pooling in her eyes as she looks back and forth between her wife and the doctor.

The crying continues for a moment as the people on the other side of the partition handle the situation, and then a tiny baby is held over it for them to see. "Here's your baby B."

"B? What happened to A?" Janis asks.

"Apparently this one decided he wanted to be born first. Kicked A out of the way!" the doctor chortles.

"He?" Cady says with a quiet sob. The doctor nods, and Cady immediately leans in to kiss Janis. "A boy."

"I had a feeling there was at least one in there," Janis chuckles. Their son is passed off so they can get the other twin out and Janis closed up before too much longer. Another shrill cry rings out, and Cady and Janis both start sobbing again.

"Here's little A," the doctor says. "Miss Troublemaker."

"A girl?" Cady whimpers, looking at the little pink squirming thing. "We-we got both?"

"Certainly looks that way!" one of the nurses says cheerfully. Cady hesitantly steps around the curtain to cut the cords, trying very hard to focus on that and not her wife's insides on the outside. The surgeon gets to work handling that, and the babies are taken to the counter in the room to be measured, weighed, and cleaned off.

It feels like hours have passed before two swaddled little babes are carried back to them, still crying about all they've been through today. Cady sits back by her wife and smiles as one baby is tucked against her face on either side.

"Hi," Janis whispers through her tears, bringing up a hand to rub each soft little cheek. "Hi, babies. Thank fuck you're out."

"Hey," Cady laughs wetly. "Mind your profanity."

"They're crying so loud they can't hear me anyway," Janis chuckles. "Shh, I know. I know. I'm crying too, I know. We're all okay."

Cady sobs again and leans across their son to kiss her wife soundly. "You're all perfect. Absolutely perfect."

"They're... they're not missing toes, or anything? They're okay?" Janis sighs heavily.

"They're both just fine," one of the nurses says with a chuckle. "I'm new, but they're the healthiest twins I've seen so far."

"I told you," Cady says with a laugh.

Once Janis is put back together and stitched up, they're wheeled back to their room to rest and bond as a family for the very first time. Cady props Janis up with pillows and crawls into bed behind her. Janis winces as she has to move, but she leans back into Cady with a relieved sigh and finally gets a good look at their babies.

Cady kisses her neck gently and looks at the little ones over her shoulder. "They're so beautiful. And you're so strong. I... I can't believe they're here."

Janis smiles at the sleepy babies in her arms. "They're here."

"I love you," Cady whispers. "So much. Look at them. Look at what you brought into this world. They're perfect. You're the strongest person I know. And you're so beautiful. Thank you."

Janis blushes and feels tears start pooling in her eyes. "Don't make me cry, I just got Frankenstein-ed back together."

"I'm sorry," Cady laughs. "But it's true. Thank you for doing this. And I'm sorry you didn't get the experience you wanted."

"We have them," Janis says quietly. "That's all I wanted. They're safe, and they're here."

"And they're perfect," Cady murmurs. "These are ours."

"Our babies," Janis echoes with a smile. "The girl is bigger?"

Cady nods. Janis had been in the process of getting stitched up when the nurse told them, so Cady took in everything she could on her behalf. "She's six pounds and four ounces. This one. And our little boy is six pounds even."

Janis looks at their daughter in her left arm and son in her right. "They look just like you."

"You think?" Cady asks softly, resting her chin on Janis' shoulder. Janis nods and leans even harder back against her.

"They do. They look more similar than I thought they would, too."

"They do," Cady agrees. Both babies have impossibly full cheeks, matching little button noses, pouty mouths, what would be wide eyes if they were open, and Cady's dainty little ears.

Janis pulls off their little beanies, and Cady can feel her sigh.

"What's the matter?"

"I had two blonde babies?" Janis says in exasperation. "Two? Blonde?"

"That's exactly what my hair looked like when I was born," Cady chuckles, looking at the tiny tufts of strawberry blonde hair on each perfect little head.

"I guess I can live with it then," Janis sighs, but Cady can feel her smile. "They need names."

Cady nods. "What do you think?"

Janis looks back and forth between the babies, trying to decide which of them to start with. "He looks a little bit like a Charles."

Cady almost knocks everyone out of the bed in her shock. "You want to name him after my father?"

Janis shrugs. "Why not? Your dad and Charlie are some of the most important people in your life. And how often do you get to bring the fifth generation of a name into the world? Come on."

Cady blinks in surprise as she considers this. She looks down at the little burrito sound asleep in Janis' arms and considers this. "Charles Jacob Heron. The Fifth."

"Jacob," Janis murmurs. "You guys have too many Charles' already. We'll call him Jacob. Jakey."

"Jacob," Cady echoes. Janis gently brings him up to kiss his nose. His eyes flutter open as she brings him back down.

"Hi, baby boy," Janis greets with a smile.

"Hi Jacob," Cady echoes quietly, reaching around her wife to gently stroke his hair. "Happy birthday, handsome."

"Baby Jakey," Janis says. "You like your name?"

Jacob's response is an impossibly wide yawn. Cady and Janis laugh. "Goodness. Being born is hard work, huh?"

"He's such a Jacob," Janis says fondly as she kisses his forehead again and he's asleep once more. "Jakey suits him."

"It does," Cady admits. "You're sure about the name? My father hasn't-"

"I'm sure. Your father has made a lot of progress too. And we can always say we named him after Charlie instead."

"I'd have preferred Clifton," Cady chuckles. "But I guess you're right."

"What's Clif's middle name again?"

"Joseph."

Janis looks back at the baby and wrinkles her nose. She shakes her head. "Nah. He's not a Joey."

"He's a Jakey," Cady says with a smile. "What about our beautiful girl?"

Janis shifts her gaze to the other baby, and finds her awake. She gazes up at them with unfocused little eyes. "Oh, hi. Nice to meet you, sweet girl."

"They really do look so similar," Cady breathes. "Both their eyes are that color."

"What color is it?" Janis says quietly, tilting her head to look. "If I had two blonde, blue-eyed babies I'm going to scream."

"They look more grey to me," Cady says soothingly. "That's exactly what Elsie's eyes looked like when she was born, and they turned brown as she grew. I think they'll get darker."

"They'd better," Janis grumbles sarcastically. "God, she's cute."

"She is," Cady agrees. "Little stinker. You had to be all bendy in there, huh?"

Janis laughs as Cady gently tickles the baby's little chin. "She didn't have much room in there."

"That's true," Cady says. "You never told me that name."

"What name?"

"You said you had a name you really wanted if we had a girl, but you didn't want to tell me until we saw her and knew for sure if it fit her," Cady says. Janis tries to remember that conversation, and she laughs.

"How do you remember that? That was, like, four months ago," she responds. Cady shrugs.

"Naming our babies is important. It stuck out to me."

Janis looks at the baby. "Isla. I fell in love with you on that island that first Christmas."

"Isla," Cady breathes. "It's perfect. Hello, Isla."

"She's looking at you," Janis chuckles. Cady smiles and gently rubs the pad of her thumb up and down the bridge of the impossibly tiny nose. Isla's eyes flutter and it's not long before she's sound asleep. "What about her middle name? You should pick it. I chose all the rest."

"No, we chose together," Cady protests.

"From my suggestions."

"Yeah. That's fine."

"Cads," Janis insists. "Pick a damn name."

"Stop swearing in front of them!" Cady huffs.

Janis turns as best she can to glare at her. "We have, like, at least eight months before they can talk. One damn isn't gonna hurt them."

"You said fuck too," Cady grumbles. Janis laughs and groans at the pain it causes. Cady gently adjusts her wife and peers back at the tiny baby.

She barely has to look at the baby before a name comes to mind.

"Joy."

She can feel Janis smile as their cheeks are pressed together. "It's perfect."

"You think?" Cady asks shyly. Janis nods, and Cady can feel a few tears streaming down her cheek.

"Isla Joy," Janis whispers thickly. "It's beautiful."

"But you really think it suits her?" Cady asks worriedly.

"I think it's perfect for her," Janis nods.

"Really?"

"Caddy," Janis chuckles. "Trust me. Joy is a perfect middle name. I love it. She looks exactly like an Isla Joy. It's just right."

Cady smiles and kisses Janis' neck, looking at both their peacefully sleeping babies. "Isla Joy and Charles Jacob."

"The most precious babies there ever were."

———

Janis is totally dead to the world less than an hour later for a much deserved nap. Cady helpfully deposits the babies back in their... storage containers, she decides to call them, and lingers by her wife for a long time. Long after Janis is asleep, she's still gently tracing shapes on her bicep, murmuring thanks and love into her hair, peppering ghost-light kisses on her forehead.

Janis snuffles at the last one, and the one thing Cady does not want to do is wake her up. Carefully, she removes herself and leaves her wife to nap in peace, and goes to introduce herself to their babies instead.

"Hello, sweet babies," she croons softly as she scoops the tiny new little ones back into her arms and holds them properly, all by herself, for the very first time. "Hi. I'm your mama. Well, one of them. Your other mom is asleep right now. Isn't she beautiful?"

She wanders in circles around the room, pausing frequently to check on Janis or to look at the same view of the random field outside their window.

"I love you so much," she whispers down at the babies. "I've loved you from the moment I found out you existed, and now I finally get to hold you and see your sweet little faces."

She takes a shaky breath as delighted tears start streaming down her face.

"I might not make a very good mom. I definitely won't be perfect. But I promise you both I'm going to try so hard to make your lives amazing. And I'll always, always, love you both," she continues. "You two and your mother are the most precious things I've ever had, do you know that? I'm not going to risk letting anything happen to any of you. I'll keep all of you safe. I promise. And I'll love you your whole lives long."

She jumps as she turns around for another lap around the room and finds Janis awake, smiling at her with a few tears streaming down her face.

"Hi."

"Hi," Janis echoes. "How you doing, Mama?"

"I should be asking you that," Cady says, handing her their daughter while she keeps and smiles at their son.

"I'm fine, Cads. Do you have any idea the amount of drugs I still have coursing through me? I got, like, another good few hours before I really start feeling anything," Janis chuckles. "Ow, shit."

"Exactly," Cady huffs.

"I'm fine, though," Janis insists as she winces through adjusting her position.

"I can get you more meds if you need," Cady says, carefully putting the baby down to help her before she scoops him back up and cradles him close.

"I'm fine," Janis says for a third time. "I promise. Come love on these little munchkins with me."

Cady smiles and sits in a chair next to Janis' bed. "His eyes are so big. And he's got such long eyelashes already. And those chubby baby cheeks."

"They're only gonna get chubbier," Janis says happily. "She has the cutest little ears."

"He does too," Cady smiles. Jacob wraps his tiny hand around her finger, and she kisses the tips of each tiny baby finger. "And his hands are so small."

"Their nails are so tiny," Janis says. Cady nods.

"I can't believe they're actual people. They're so small, there's no way a whole human can fit inside there," she says absently. Janis laughs and groans again.

"Somehow. I'm not sure either," she says. "I'm still not sure how they both fit in me."

"I'm not either. No wonder you've been so sick, your body must have done a whole lot of rearranging to make room."

"You're telling me," Janis hums. "But it was worth it, huh Isla?"

"Now everyone gets to recover," Cady tells Jacob. He blinks at her. "Yeah. You're gonna stay here for a few days, and then Mommy and I get to take you home to rest. And you're gonna barf and poop all over us and scream your little head off at us, and we're still gonna love you! Isn't that wild?"

"Stop making me laugh," Janis groans from the bed. Cady smiles sheepishly.

"Sorry."

"It's okay," she says. She hands Isla back and smiles as she sees her little family all together. "You're so sweet with them already."

"I'm terrified, Janis," Cady whispers, staring into their son's unfocused little grey eyes. "They're so perfect. I can't mess them up."

"We won't," Janis promises. "We have each other."

"But they're... they're like the first snowfall, right now. I can't be the one to mess that up. I don't want to be the first footprint in it," Cady continues desperately.

"We can't help making mistakes. But I know how much you love them, babe, we're gonna do okay. I can't promise we won't fuck them up somehow, but I know we'll do everything we can not to and everything we can to fix it. You've already done so much for them. You took incredible care of me through my whole pregnancy, and you still are. We're gonna figure this out together."

"Together," Cady breathes shakily.

"Always together," Janis promises. "Especially because if you ditch me with these two now I will sue your ass so hard."

Cady laughs. "No, never. You're never ever getting rid of me. I might be one of those mothers who tries to move into the college dorm with her kids."

"Your mom didn't-"

"Of course not, she didn't even know where I was," Cady hums. She looks down to explain to the babies.  "I'm talking about your Nana. She won't treat you that way, I promise. She's done a lot of work on herself. She's already bought you two tons of presents. She can't wait to meet you."

"Oh, shit," Janis says.

"Stop swearing!"

"You're just gonna have to learn to live with it, babes," Janis says with a smile. "We gotta call Damian. I forgot to tell him. Again."

"Yay!" Cady squeals. She looks down at the babies again. "Are you two ready for the loudest phone call of your life? I hope so."

Janis can't help but laugh again, keeping a hand on her pained stomach. They get the four of them situated together on the hospital bed, the babies face-to-face in each of their arms, and Janis holds the phone facing the sleeping babes as the call connects.

As expected, Damian's answer is a shriek as soon as he processes what he's seeing. Janis smiles and turns the camera around to face herself and Cady.

"Those are babies!" he says.

"No shit," Janis says.

"Hey!" Cady insists.

"Hi Caddy!" Damian says eagerly.

Cady laughs. "Hi Dame. Surprise!"

"They're so cute," Damian coos as Janis puts the camera back on the twins. "Oh, they look just like you, Cads."

"They might have Janis' eyes," Cady explains eagerly. "Aren't they perfect?"

"Yes," Damian coos.

"This is our little boy. Charles Jacob, after Caddy's dad. But we're calling him Jacob," Janis says proudly.

"You had a boy?!" Damian squeals.

"We did! We had one of each," Cady confirms. Damian shrieks again.

"Oh my god! Oh, how perfect! Look at them, oh my god! Oh my god, oh my god! What's your girl's name?"

"Isla," Cady says with a smile. "Isla Joy."

"Jacob and Isla," Damian says, testing out the names. "Excellent. They sound like rich people names but not pretentious."

"Perfect," Janis chuckles.

"Have the media hounds swarmed you yet?"

"The media hounds don't know we scheduled a C-section for today. But I'm sure they'll be filling the parking lot before too long," Janis sighs. Cady leans into her comfortingly.

"It'll be okay," she murmurs. "I'll protect you."

"Aww," Damian coos. Cady blushes as she remembers he can, in fact, hear them. Janis leans in for a kiss and elicits yet another shriek from their friend. "It's too cuuuute! I can't stand it!"

"Hang up then, coward," Janis says, like she hasn't just had the softest moment possible with her wife and newborn babies.

"Hey!"

"Janis!" Cady scolds.

"What? I just had two babies cut out of my gut, I get a free day to say whatever I want," Janis hums. Cady shrugs.

"I suppose that's fair," she says. "Sorry Damian."

"It's fine. Lemme see them again," Damian insists. Janis chuckles and obliges, allowing their friend to coo over his niece and nephew for as long as he wants. They stay on the call for almost three hours, talking about the babies and them and everything in between.

"You're still coming for Thanksgiving?" Janis asks before they hang up.

"Yes! And if you try to do a single goddamn thing I swear to god I will drag you through the town square and throw you in the river," Damian says. "Bye. Love you."

"Love you too, D," Janis chuckles. She hangs up and flops back against the pillows with a sigh. "What a day."

"A good day," Cady says.

"The best day," Janis agrees, handing Isla to her and cuddling into her side.

"Get some rest, my love," Cady murmurs, bending at a strange angle to kiss her forehead. "We'll wait for you."

Janis yawns and smiles. "I love you."

"I love you too."

—————

They're all released from the hospital three days later. Cady carefully carries the babies out the doors of the hospital in their top-of-the-line car seats while a nurse wheels Janis behind them. Janis gets in the car first, and then Cady struggles through trying to get the car seats in place for the first time with babies inside.

After a solid hour, the seats are both snapped in where they go, and Cady gets to drive her family home.

They have a crazy first month trying to adjust to having twin newborns. Damian comes and provides them with an excellent but unbelievably chaotic Thanksgiving, and stays for a week afterwards to help them handle everything. Even with a maid and a chef hired on so they could focus almost exclusively on the babies and themselves, it's still unbelievably hard.

Cady is adamant about the two of them being the only ones to raise their babies and absolutely refuses a night doula. She drags both bassinets over to her side of the bed and declares she'll handle all the nighttime bottles and diaper changes. Janis is only woken up when one of the babies is truly desperate for some snuggles from their mommy. Otherwise Cady insists she get plenty of rest and time to heal. Janis doesn't complain.

—-

A week after the twins' one-month birthday, they brave the outside world for the first time. It's Christmas time, and time to take the babies to the annual Christmas celebrations hosted by Cady's parents in one of the Heron Enterprises hotels. Luckily, this year's is close to home, and they only have a few hours' drive instead of an international flight.

Cady smiles as they cross the threshold, and Janis sighs. She's only been out of the hospital for a month. Traveling is hard on her body.

Cady carries the babies in and gently sets them down before she turns to her wife. "You wanna go nap?"

Janis nods. "But they'll want to meet the babies."

"And they'll have plenty of time to," Cady soothes. "Let's go get settled in."

She can see the relief on Janis' face as they head to the elevators instead of right in to greet everyone.

"You feeling okay, baby?" Cady asks, gently cupping Janis' cheek. Janis smiles softly and nods.

"I'm just tired."

"Are you sure?" Cady insists. Janis nods again and takes her hand off her face to hold it instead.

"Promise. Cross my heart and whatnot," she says. Cady smiles and leans in for a kiss.

They both jump the slightest bit when the elevator dings, and freeze when they hear someone inside sigh. The doors open, and out comes Madeleine. She seems rather shocked to see them there. "Hi. I was never here, I saw nothing."

"You don't have to do that, Maddie," Cady chuckles. "Come up with us, you can meet the twins."

Madeleine looks to Janis. Janis smiles and nods, to which her sister-in-law squeals and wraps her in a gentle hug. Cady picks the babies' car seats back up and they all go into the elevator together.

"How are you feeling, Janis? You look incredible, absolutely unfair," Madeleine says, pointedly not looking at the babies so she gets the surprise properly. Janis laughs and winces a bit.

"As well as I can be," she replies, resting a hand over her healing incision. "Considering Cady was positive I'd die on the table."

"Your intestines were outside your body! You need those!" Cady insists frantically. Madeleine laughs.

"I'll make her go easy on you while we're here," she tells Janis. Janis smiles at Cady.

"No need," she says softly. "She barely lets me do anything now."

"Because you need to rest," Cady says.

"They're a month old and you're already spoiling them," Janis chuckles.

"All the siblings do, I think it's genetic," Madeleine chuckles. "When Lennox was little his feet never touched the ground. Callum absolutely refused to let him go."

"How is he sixteen?" Cady sighs sadly.

"He was born sixteen years ago," Janis replies. Cady rolls her eyes lovingly at her.

"I know that. But I still remember holding him in the hospital," Cady says.

"And now you have your own little ones," Madeleine smiles. The elevator reaches the right floor, so everyone trails out and down the hall to their room. "Now let me at 'em."

Cady rests both seats on the bed and carefully undoes their buckles. "Who do you want?"

"Both!" Madeleine says as if it's entirely obvious. Janis laughs and picks up Jacob, so Cady gets Isla out.

"This is Jakey," Janis says as she gently hands him to his aunt. "Jacob. And that's Isla."

"How beautiful," Madeleine coos. "God, I miss babies. These two are dangerous."

"Maddie, you had four, that's plenty," Cady chuckles.

"But mine are all big now. These two are still in the smushy little baby stage," Madeleine sighs.

Janis chuckles and gets herself comfortable in bed. Cady leaves Madeleine to coo over the gingerbread man-patterned onesies the twins have on while she sees to her wife. "Do you want me to stay?"

"Do you want to stay?" Janis replies. Cady pauses and considers this. As soon as she's downstairs, she'll be bombarded with questions about Janis and the babies. Part of her wants to go so Janis doesn't have to deal with that on top of healing and struggling through keeping twin babies alive. But the rest of her is just very tired.

"Yes... please. Is that okay? That leaves you with more to handle," she says anxiously. Janis chuckles and scoots over to make room for her to nap too.

"That's just fine. We'll do it together," Janis whispers. Cady nods and cuddles into her.

They're long asleep by the time Maddie gently rests the babies in their cribs and tiptoes out the door.

—-

A few hours later, they enter the foyer hand in hand with babies in arms. You'd think Jesus himself had just walked into the room.

Everyone turns to look, everyone gasps and starts chattering all at once, everyone rushes up and starts coming over the little ones, touching their hands and little cheeks and asking if they can hold them.

They both say yes and watch anxiously as their twins are passed from relative to relative. Cady swoops in to follow one around as Hazel, Charlie and Violeta's surprise daughter and the youngest of the kids (until now) at just seven years old peeks over her big brother Henry's shoulder and asks if she can hold baby Jacob.

Janis bites her lip as a ten-year-old Naomi and her nine-year-old brother Zacharias fight over Isla. The fight is broken up by Cady's mother, who takes the baby and kisses her before Janis can get a single word in about not doing that, please and thank you. She starting to get dizzy, looking desperately back and forth between both of her babies and trying to keep track of where they are. Isla's with her Nana- no, now Fiona has her. Now Jacob's with Hazel and Isla's been moved to Lana and-

"Hey, are you okay?"

Janis jumps and looks to see Madeleine next to her. Janis blinks back tears and shakes her head. Madeleine frowns in concern and takes a step closer so nobody can overhear them.

"What's the matter?"

"I need them back," Janis chokes. "I-I... I..."

"Say no more. Leave it to me," Madeleine says. Janis watches through teary eyes as she swoops around the room and returns with her wife and a baby, then sends the two of them out of the room and meets them in the hall with the other.

"Thank you," Janis sobs quietly as she finally has both her little ones back in her arms.

"Baby, what happened?" Cady asks in concern, cupping Janis' face with a hand and brushing the tears from her cheek with a gentle swipe of her thumb.

"I don't know," Janis sobs. "I just... there's so-so many people, and-and... I couldn't see them both and-and-and... I don't know!"

Madeleine gently wraps an arm around her shoulders and rubs her arm soothingly. "Cads, do you remember that time when Lennox was a baby and I had a panic attack because I couldn't find him? And it turned out you just had him in the bathroom and were trying to give him pigtails?"

"Yeah," Cady says in confusion. "Why?"

"This is that," Madeleine replies. "But worse."

Janis somehow hasn't heard that story before and releases a strangled sort of half-sob-half-laugh. "I... I trust ev-everyone, but I-I-I panic every time they're out of-of my sight, and-and I couldn't see-see them at the same time, and I-I just... I don't know."

"You don't have to explain, my love," Cady hushes. "I'm sorry, I didn't even think about how overwhelming that would've been for you."

"It's okay," Janis sniffs, leaning into her.

"You take your time. I'll go make something up, come back in when you're ready. Cady will make sure this happens on terms you're okay with," Madeleine says comfortingly.

"Thanks, Maddie," Janis sniffles again. "Did Lenny ever get his pigtails?"

Madeleine smiles. "He called her Auntie Piggies until he was four."

"He liked them!" Cady defends.

"Tell that to Fiona. Your next victim," Madeleine chuckles. She heads back into the room, leaving Cady, Janis, and the twins alone in the hall. Cady looks at the little ones still asleep and curled up in Janis' arms, and Janis' chest shaking as she tries to calm down.

"Come here," Cady coaxes gently. Janis sniffles and follows her down the hall to the parlor. Cady sits on one of the sofas that's there more for decoration than actually to be sat on, and Janis sits next to her. "Are you alright, love?"

Janis nods, but she doesn't say anything. She keeps her eyes firmly on the babies and firmly off her wife.

"No, you're not," Cady insists with a furrowed brow. "Talk to me. Please."

Janis looks up at her, her eyes watering again. "I'm sorry."

"No, honey," Cady says desperately.

“I'm sorry," Janis repeats. Cady watches in concern as she starts sobbing again.

"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for," Cady murmurs. "I just need to know what's been going on. I need to know how I can help, that's all."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Janis sobs quietly. "I-I didn't know how, and everything just... it just..."

"I know," Cady hushes. "Will you tell me now? Or try? I'm your wife, you don't have to justify yourself to me. Just tell me how you're feeling."

"I don't even know," Janis chokes. Cady shifts off the couch and crouches in front of her, squeezing Janis' hands and looking deep into her eyes.

"Just try, please?"

Janis sighs and takes a long time to collect herself. Cady just squeezes her hands and lets her. Janis takes a deep breath before she begins, "I-I don't know what's wrong with me."

Cady frowns as she sees tears welling in her eyes yet again. "Nothing, baby, absolutely nothing is wrong with you."

"I can't... I can't breathe when they're out of my sight," Janis whispers. "Every time, even if you have them and I know they're okay, I just... I... I get so freaked out worrying about if they're still breathing or if they're hungry or hot or sick or even if they're just... I don't know, itchy, or something. I... I know in my head that they're fine, but I always just run through the worst-case scenarios and I just get myself even more worked up, and..."

She trails off, but Cady doesn't need to hear anything more. "How long?"

"Hm?"

"How long have you been feeling like this?" Cady asks. Janis is quiet again.

"...Since we found out she was breech."

It's Cady's turn to be quiet. "Three months?"

"I-I guess, yeah," Janis sniffles.

"Three months?!" Cady repeats. "You've been suffering like this for three months and you didn't tell me? Why?! Why wouldn't you-"

"I didn't know how!" Janis says pleadingly.

"I could've done something so much sooner if I had known-"

"What was I supposed to say? That I turn into a neurotic, jittery, anxious pile of garbage on the brink of a heart attack every time I blink?!"

"Yes!" Cady insists. "Yes, you were! Because then we could've had this conversation before bringing them to meet my entire family and I could've understood before you had a panic attack! And I could've put together that you've clearly been suffering from postpartum anxiety much sooner and gotten you the proper help for it!"

Janis looks down again. Cady takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it like that. This shouldn't be an argument."

Janis shakes her head. "It's my fault."

"No, baby, it isn't," Cady insists, shifting to hold Janis' face instead. "You've been struggling, and you didn't have the words to let me know. I wish you had tried anyway, but... this has already happened. All we can do is go forward. And going forward, I need you to tell me when things aren't right, please. Even if you can't figure out how, just tell me something is wrong and we'll figure out what it is together, okay? I hate seeing you so upset."

"I should've told you sooner. I knew this would happen."

"Maybe, but there's nothing to be done about it now. I know now, and I can help."

Janis nods her head to signal she wants Cady next to her again. Cady sits down, and Janis leans into her. "I need help."

"I know," Cady whispers.

"Finding out that she was breech hit me harder than I thought it did. And knowing there was always a chance with the way she was positioned that something could've gone wrong and they'd miss it. I-I wanted to be a chill mom, and I thought I was, but it just turned my world upside-down and I haven't gotten back. I just feel that... loss of knowing, I guess. Of control. And I'm terrified every time I can't see for myself that they're okay that they're actually... not. Even if they were a second before."

Cady lets a few of her own tears slip into Janis' hair. "I'm so sorry, my love. I should've noticed."

Janis chuckles softly. "You've been mighty sleep deprived."

"Is that why you've been so insistent on helping with their night feedings?"

Janis shakes her head. "That's because I'm worried about you. I still get it when they're with you, but not anywhere near as strong as when they're just in their cots or whatever."

"Or with other people?"

"Apparently," Janis sighs.

"I'm getting you a therapist," Cady says softly. "That's a non-negotiable."

Janis nods. "Okay."

"I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Janis asks, looking up at her.

"I can't believe I didn't see how much you've been struggling," Cady says. "I should've noticed."

"Don't beat yourself up about it," Janis says softly, tucking back into her. "I kinda made sure you didn't."

"Don't ever do it again," Cady begs. "Please. I want to know. I want to help."

Janis nods. "I won't."

They both look down when they feel a wiggle, and see Jacob wriggling crankily before he releases a shrill cry. "Oh, pumpkin."

Janis carefully adjusts him to check her watch. "It is lunch time, huh?"

"I'll get their bottles," Cady says. "Gimme this one. Practice."

Janis chuckles as she passes Isla to her wife and smiles at them together. Cady gently scoops Isla beneath the shoulders and kisses her nose before cradling her in her arm. Janis sees to hushing Jacob and waiting for them to return.

Cady carries Isla into the kitchen to prepare the twins' bottles. Janis tries not to laugh as she hears Cady talking to the baby. Hearing the woman who talks like she's straight out of a Dickens novel cooing, "Hello, my sweet little princess babykins, are you ready for a baba? Are you hungry? Yeah? My sweet widdle pumpyumpykins. Let's get your baba." in a ridiculously high pitch is comical in a way few can describe.

After about five minutes and the terrible, deafening sounds of the bottle machines going off, Cady returns with their daughter and two bottles to feed them.

“He back to sleep?" she asks when she sees Janis gently rocking their son. Janis nods with a soft smile and gently strokes one of his chubby cheeks with the back of her index finger. "Good."

"How's our pumpyumpykins?" Janis asks with a small giggle. Cady flushes a remarkable shade of scarlet and looks down at the baby with a whine.

"You heard that?"

Janis nods and giggles again as she slowly stands and heads over to her. "Yeah, I did. But I think it's cute."

"I can't help it," Cady whines. "They're both so precious."

"I do it too," Janis chuckles. "It's just funny when you do."

"It is? Why?" Cady asks, tilting her head like a confused puppy.

"Because most of the time you have a transatlantic accent and use words like shan't and chauffeur and legality and clams."

Cady laughs outright at that. "Clams?"

"Hey, I'd never had one before I met you, far as I'm concerned they're a fancy food," Janis chuckles. She kisses Cady's forehead, and Cady smiles up at her.

“I love you," Cady says.

"I love you too," Janis replies. She doesn't quite know where that came from, but she'll always say it.

"Are you ready to go back in? We can just call it if you're not. I'll handle everything," Cady asks gently.

Janis inhales heavily and looks between the babies. She wants to go back in, wants everyone to have their proper chance to meet their grandchildren and niece and nephew and cousins, but her body is still tense and her mind is still racing. Cady notices her hesitation and takes her hand again.

"What if we did one at a time? You can keep your eyes on the one being held and keep the other with you," she suggests. "We can give Isla her bottle now and wait a bit on Jakey, since he's asleep. And you can just say you want to feed and burp him yourself. And by the time he's done everyone will probably have finished with her and we can swap them."

Janis considers this, and she nods. "That would be great."

"And I'll mention not kissing them again," Cady promises. "Just to be safe."

"Thank you," Janis whispers, kissing her wife soundly. Cady just smiles into it and kisses her back.

They linger on the bench outside while Cady gives Isla her bottle and they both have a chance to coo over and focus on her. Janis braces as she swallows the last of her milk away and Cady props her up to be burped.

"Ready?" she asks when Isla's all situated. Janis nods, and they head back into the living room where everyone is waiting.

Janis was expecting people to stare, ask questions, have noticed what happened, but nobody seems to. Whether they're pretending or genuinely just absorbed in their own conversations, Janis is relieved.

One person did notice, however. Hazel comes up to the two of them looking very sheepish. She quietly says, "I'm sorry I held the baby. I saw you crying."

Janis frowns. "No, kiddo, it wasn't your fault. You guys just looked so sweet together I got emotional. And the babies needed their lunch, so we just went to get that, see?"

She gestures vaguely with Jacob as he's eating his bottle. Janis smiles down at her son as he makes a little coo around it that sounds vaguely affirmative.

"See? He says he's okay too," Janis comforts.

"Oh," Hazel says, visibly brightening.

"Would you like to meet Isla?" Cady asks with a smile. Hazel bounces up and down rapidly and nods. "Go sit down."

Hazel runs back to her brothers on the sofa and plops herself down, eagerly holding out her hands. Janis watches Cady prop her arms with pillows before she ever so gently lays their sleeping little girl in her cousin's arms.

"Remember not to kiss them, please," Cady says softly. Hazel nods and looks down at her other new baby cousin.

"They look the same," Hazel says, making sure to be quiet. Cady laughs softly.

"They do. Auntie Janis and I weren't sure how similar they'd look, but sometimes even we have a hard time telling them apart," she says.

For all her loud and bold personality, Hazel is remarkably still and quiet as she holds and looks at the baby. "Would she fit in my baby doll clothes?"

"Maybe," Cady giggles. "If it's a very big baby doll."

Hazel considers this and shakes her head. "It's small."

Cady chuckles and continues watching like a hawk. Isla just snoozes, and Hazel just watches.

"Can I kiss her on her foot?" she asks after a while. Cady looks to Janis. Janis chuckles and nods.

"Go ahead," Cady says. Hazel happily picks up Isla's leg and carefully kisses the bottom of her tiny foot. She smiles contently and gently pats the baby for good measure.

She stays there a while longer before she asks, "Can I go play now?"

Cady laughs and gently removes the baby from her lap. "Of course. Go have fun."

"Bye!" Hazel says to the baby in a quiet but eager voice before she runs off to try to cajole Zacharias into playing with her. Cady carefully hands Isla to the next relative wanting to meet her, her brother Clifton, and smiles proudly as she stands protectively nearby. Janis smiles faintly from her spot nestled in the couch as their son finishes off his bottle and she props him up to burp him.

Surprisingly, nobody tries to take him. Hannah sits down next to them and coos over him for a bit, and Janis happily lets her hold him while keeping a sharp watch on their daughter. After about the fifth check in, she realizes her wife has everything handled. Isla is safe.

Before too long, everyone's met and held both babies at least once. Introductions have been made, uncles have been pooped on, big yawns have been tossed around at aunties, and many a stretch has happened in the arms of grandparents.

"You're gonna get a lot of loving from all those people," Cady informs the babies as they're in the elevator on the way back up to their room to prepare for dinner. "That went well, I think."

"It did," Janis agrees. "Other than me having a panic attack."

"Of course, other than that," Cady says hastily. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Janis promises.

"Good," Cady says. "Let's skip dinner."

"What?"

"We've already seen everyone, they can live without us for one night," Cady insists.

"But it's Christmas Eve," Janis says, frowning in confusion. "Don't you wanna spend it with your family?"

"That is exactly what I want," Cady whispers, gently pressing her against the wall for a kiss once they're on their floor and being very careful not to squish the babies between them. "Let's have our dinner sent up and snuggle our babies in bed and watch Christmas movies."

"That sounds amazing," Janis whispers against her lips. Cady kisses her once more before leading her back to their room to get cozy in their huge bed.

—-

"These movies are so unrealistic," Janis huffs at their third Hallmark movie. "There's no way a princess would just ask some schmuck into her palace like that!"

Cady looks between her, herself, their babies, back to her, around the room, and back to her.

"Shut up. I'm not a schmuck."

"I never said you were!" Cady laughs. "I do think you're right, though. We must be an anomaly."

"Not everyone gets knocked on their ass by a hot billionaire," Janis agrees. Cady giggles against her shoulder.

During the Muppet Christmas Carol, Janis feels Cady's head shift to peek down at the babies, as they sleep side-by-side in a special basket all bundled up together. Jacob's forehead rests just against Isla's cheek, and their arms are as linked as newborn babies can manage. Cady whispers, "They're so precious."

Janis looks down at their little ones and smiles. "Yeah, they are."

"You made these," Cady continues softly, gently adjusting Jacob's Santa onesie away from his neck and ever so gently patting his belly.

"I made them out of you," Janis hums contently. "Those little button noses are all yours, and their lips, and their ears. And their skin is really fair, so they'll probably get a few freckles as they grow. And their hair is yours, and their eyebrows."

"I think they'll have your eyes, though," Cady says happily. "Pretty brown. And I think they have your lips, not mine."

"Really?" Janis asks. Cady nods happily. Janis chuckles and noses into her hair. "Maybe."

"Definitely," Cady says. She's quiet for a moment before she softly says, "I've been a billionaire all my life. My play jewelry when I was a kid had real gold and gems. And these are still the most precious things I've ever had in my life."

Janis smiles even wider and kisses Cady wherever she can reach. "Good thing you get to keep 'em, then."

She can feel Cady smile, and Cady shifts to ever so gently straddle her at her hips. She takes special care not to aggravate Janis' still healing belly and gently leans down, cups her face between her hands, and kisses her soundly. "Thank you."

"For what?" Janis gasps in between kisses.

"Them. You," Cady replies, kissing her hard again. "Everything. You're just as precious to me as they are. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. The best thing I ever ran over on the sidewalk."

"So you admit you ran me over now, hm?" Janis laughs, threading her fingers through Cady's hair and smiling into a much more gentle kiss.

"You carried my twins for almost nine months, it's kind of the least I can do," Cady replies haughtily. Janis chuckles again and pulls her down harder against her. Cady happily leans in and kisses her again, and again, and again.

"I love you," Janis whispers when they take a pause to breathe.

"I love you," Cady echoes. They both turn their heads to the side when they hear a sort of squawk, and find Isla wriggling crankily before she lets out a shrill cry. Cady pouts and quickly scoots off of Janis to scoop her up before she can wake Jacob. "Oh, pumpkin, what happened, hm? We love you too, you know, you don't have to be so sad! Oh, what's the matter, come here. Mama has you, you're alright."

"You're so good with them," Janis murmurs, leaning into Cady's shoulder as she carefully cradles the baby's neck and tucks her into her chest. Janis strokes her fingers up and down the baby's back to help soothe her as Cady gently pats her little bum and hushes her.

Cady chuckles like she doesn't believe her and shakes her head.

"You are," Janis insists. "Look how quick you got her calmed down."

Isla gives a couple more half-hearted wails before she changes her mind and contents herself with being held. Cady smiles and pulls her back a bit to see her little face. "There we go, hi, baby. You just needed a little love, huh?"

"You just needed to hang out with Mama for a second, hm? Mama makes it all better," Janis coos. Isla coos back. "Yeah. She's the best, isn't she?"

"Nooo," Cady hums at the baby, holding her close again to kiss her cheek before she passes her to Janis. "Your mommy is the best. Yeah, there you go!"

Janis adjusts the lot of them, so Cady is half-sitting against the headboard, Janis is reclined with her back against Cady's chest, and Isla is carefully propped into a sit against Janis' bent legs. Janis holds her hands to keep her steady and makes sure the baby doesn't really have to hold up her own head all that much. It's hard work when you're only a month old.

"Hi, pretty girl," Janis coos when they're all settled. She gently combs a hand through Isla's little tuft of strawberry blonde hair. "Did you have a good nap with bubby? Yeah? Good sleep?"

Cady smiles and rests her head on Janis' shoulder. "Hi pumpkin. Sweet baby girl."

Each of them take turns cooing over their daughter, both of them already knowing one-on-one time with either of their babies will become a progressively more rare commodity. Jacob is perfectly content to continue his snooze by himself in the basket for now.

Isla's still-unfocused little gaze gradually shifts back and forth between her mothers, and she makes little happy grunts every now and again in response to their adoring words being poured over her.

After about their fifth turn each, it's back to Cady again. "Our little munchkin, look at you! Don't you look so sweet in your Christmas jammies, huh? Yeah, you do! Our pretty little sweet baby girl. Mama loves you so much."

They both gasp softly as Isla's little lips twitch and her face splits into her first-ever real smile.   Cady starts crying, and Janis feels a few tears slip down her cheeks too. "Look at that pretty smile!"

"That's a very good smile," Cady agrees tearfully. "Jay, she smiled at us."

"That she did," Janis agrees with a sniffle. She gently tickles under Isla's chin to see if she'll do it again, and they both giggle as she smiles at them again. "Yeah! Oh, we love that smile."

"So much," Cady hums. "We love that whole little smushy baby."

"Her first smile," Janis hums with one of her own.

"She's so beautiful," Cady sniffles. "Both of them are. I love them so much. I love you so much."

"I love you too," Janis echoes. She scoops the baby up higher and kisses her nose. "And you." She leans down carefully to kiss Jacob's cheek, causing him to give a little twitch in his sleep. Cady and Janis both giggle. "And you."

"Merry Christmas, my love," Cady says quietly. "Thank you for the best presents ever."

"Merry Christmas, baby," Janis replies. "And Merry Christmas, babies."

—————

tadaaaa i hope you enjoyed!!

tbh the only reason these two are twins is because i couldn't pick who i wanted to be older so i did a little fun thing with that lol. and also some of you may notice the babies did not in fact exit janis' vagina as i said in the last chapter of this series and the reason for that is i changed my gotdang mind. this'll probably be the last time we see these versions of them, at least for a while. it's been fun getting to play around so much with an au but we'll be back to your regularly scheduled cadnis in the new year (finally with picking teams again too aaah!) i also want to thank you all for being so patient with me this year. i'm painfully aware i haven't posted very much, but thank you all so much for all the love on what i have been able to put up. this year has been incredibly painful for me. people i'm close with have passed away, my works have been stolen, and my disability and mental health have gotten worse on top of it all. unfortunately that makes writing really hard, but seeing all your comments and hits and reactions have been the shining lights through it all. thank you <33 thank you all so much again for all your love and support this year. thanks for sticking with me :)) i hope your christmas was merry if you celebrate and if not i hope your day was amazing. see y'all in 2024 <3 lots of love, ezzy

[hopefulgardenshark]

I was destroyed for 24 hours after the finale of Good Omens 2. Then I channelled my internal Crowley and started asking QUESTIONS. And that thought process alone got me in a much, much better state 😊

Rejection… ough, it’s complicated

You can read about my take on the stage of the relationship the angels are here. To be clear, I read them as a long-term, post-pheromones companionship, something waiting to move towards whatever it is after at least ten years of relationship in human terms.

Aziraphale gets his "job offer." I must make a caveat that, as most of us have already deduced, this was the choice between Coffee and Death. What does it mean for the couple? From Aziraphale's point of view, he is in a long-term loving relationship. He has been threatened with the utter obliteration, what means not only that he would have never existed but also that this act would leave a black hole in the life of his precious companion. This fragile demon hates loneliness and craves companionship as much as the angel craves crepes. And he also KNOWS how much the demon loves him, to the point that they can kill anyone who threatens him. And that can turn out very nasty for them.

So we get the whole messy scene that, on the surface, makes no sense. And this is the first time they suck at communicating with each other in all 11.5 episodes.

Aziraphale SAYS  he wants one thing totally out of character, and Crowley KNOWS it is (the series established that he recognized his angel tone of voice). Aziraphale's goal is to save Crowley from himself (see here why the plot analysis tells us so), which I dare to say Crowley suspects. Crowley, on the other hand, wants something totally IN THE CHARACTER (both times he was rejected, he wanted the same thing), and Aziraphale KNOWS it. Crowley's goal is to get into a "we" of a relationship SOMEWHERE, leaving to the stars together. We know that he loves the stars, which was established in S1 and again in S2. He does not say, "I love you"; he says, "I would like to spend my existence with you." He also says "we've spent our entire existence pretending that we aren't". He does not mean it as in "we pretend to each other." Pretending to Heaven and Hell.

This is not a moment of a big confession about love or feelings. This moment is an infliction point, all about what we want from this relationship from now on. And the moment of loss and realization of loss. Crowley got what Aziraphale wanted for five episodes, only to see his angel inexplicably change his desires. The whole mumbling about Heaven and Crowley as an angel doesn't make sense to Crowley because HE KNOWS his angel wanted a nest., It reminds me of all the tropes most recently explored in "Marriage Story." It is not an outcome two loving partners wish for, but sometimes people want different things WHILE STILL LOVING EACH OTHER. The" nothing lasts forever" has many meanings and can be read in different ways. On one level, it is a marker of changing desires and aspirations. On another level, the facial expression of Aziraphale, when looking at Crowley, full of absolute caring love, tells us that Crowley may not last forever, and he is just making sure he does. There is no rage in that scene, only mutual love and hurt. People part ways even if they still have a lot of love for each other. Sometimes, they find each other again.

And then the kiss. The kiss is mutual (you can see it when you play the scene very slowly), not romantic but desperate. They both hurt, but Crowley initiates this absolutely in character: the one who has always initiated a deep dive into the earthly sensations (it is first established in the Petronius oysters' scene). Then, he is forgiven because Aziraphale must say something that hurts (maybe someone is eavesdropping? At the end, the Bentley plays the Song. The way Aziraphale looks at Crowley and Bentley makes me think he asked the car to play it as a coded message.)

Crowley behaves differently from TWO other rejections he experienced in Season 1. The other two were very early on in their courtship. He felt them as personal back then: "I don't even like you, you are the demon" and "It is over." Sort of stuff we yell at our SOs when pheromones are high. Crowley does not take it well; he loves himself enough to know his dignity and has no problem leaving. In Season 2, this is more complicated. The long-term bonds of "precious existence" are stronger because KNOWING THE OTHER is on a deeper level. And he knows something is very, very wrong. Why is he staying there, waiting? He does not feel rejected as himself; he does not feel his love was rejected; he only understood his Alpha Centauri will not happen for reasons he does not truly understand. Right now, he probably thinks precisely what he said: Aziraphale is an idiot talking nonsense. Crowley hopes he will return to his senses. Because deep down, Crowley is an optimist. And he has what other demons do not: imagination. So don't cry for him, he will be OK. And remember the last Jane Austen novel on Aziraphale's shelf: Persuasion. Not to mention the only book Crowley probably has read: "The Crow Road"…

__

I realized I wrote this from the point of view of Crowley. But Aziraphale had also his heart rejected. He cried I NEED YOU and he got silence, because his stubborn husband refused to follow. That rejection also hurts.

---

Another thought: The ending is our human equivalent of one partner deciding to accept that well-paying job half-way across the globe, while the other wants to stay put. The one who leaves, temporarily, thinks about the opportunity: the money earned to finally pay that mortgage, pay student loan... to be finally free and get on with their life. The one who stays does not see it this way. Who is right... we'll see.

[tobiasdrake]

Another one bites the dust. This place is cleansed.

The Watcher? What are you talking ab-- OH RIGHT

Resh'an wanted us to repair the Watcher. That was the whole point of this. Sorry, there was a Dweller and then all of my brain space was being used for violence.

Yes. Please. If you wouldn't mind.

Huh. Okay, so I was right about it being a time prism but wrong about it being the receiver.

Hold up. Isn't this one of those giant statue bros? He's not going to yeet the prism, is he?

Unless that's how we penetrate Mesa Island's barrier? Yeeting the prism straight into it like a Fuck You bomb?

Ooo, this looks important. I'm gonna push it.

Oh shit, it's one of these. If I can swap tiles freely then this will be a piece of cake but if it's one of those slidey-doos, I suck at those.

Turns out it was neither. Simple rotation puzzle. Alright.

Is that Resh'an? Is the Fleshmancer stepping on his head?

More importantly, we've got what we came here for. Time to go see what this buys us.

Resh'an sent me out like, "Hm. 50/50 She either brings me the Vial or makes up a forgery to try and swindle me. I should be ready for either outcome."

He knows me so well.

Full strength, Garl. You only get to smash a legendary artifact of divine power so often.

Oh, so that's why it was being kept in a secure location. It warps back to him if it's destroyed. That's neat. I want all of my shit enchanted like that.

And now he's buttering me up. He does know me so well.

Tell me more about how brave and pretty I am. I added that last part because you forgot to mention it. Clearly an oversight on your part.

Are you going party or cargo? Because when I told you there's plenty of space in Garl's bag, I didn't think to ask Teaks how she felt about it. That's an oversight on my part.

So, party it is. It's cool, I get it. You're LARPing as one of us and you gotta act the part.

We should try and find you some new clothes. And a bath. I mean, Zale and I are both pretty talented at a loom, but we spent ten years sewing so. Y'know. Not on your life.

But the shops in Brisk probably have something. We can ask around, try and get you fitted. See if there's anything in Size WTF Is That.

Oh, absolutely. We're super good at keeping secrets.

Can I call you TIA? It'd be a cute little nickname and we'd be the only ones privy to its meaning so it'd make a fun little in-joke.

I think we're gonna get along great, TIA.

Oh shit, somehow I completely forgot about her. There's my oversight. Again.

Yeah, no, we are terrible at keeping secrets. Like. The worst.

Right, because trying to keep the Fleshmancer from knowing you're with us doesn't exactly work if a servant of the Fleshmancer sees you with its eyes. I gotcha.

See, Garl's got my back. Change of wardrobe and a shower. Maybe three showers. This whole place reeks of mildew.

*gritted teeth* I don't want to say yes because then I'll be denied my chance to pull you into the markets and have a dress-up montage.

But it does meet the criteria. So.

Son of a bitch went straight for her. Didn't even hesitate! Just fucking made a beeline for her, and after I tried so hard to warn him off this self-destructive path!

*sigh* I try and I try to dispense sound wisdom, but there's no reasoning with reckless idiots determined to throw themselves into harm's way.

It took her five seconds to peg him.

Five. Goddamn. Seconds.

This is why we told you to stay away from her, TIA. What have we learned? You can doubt me all you want, I'm sketchy as fuck, but don't you ever question Garl's wisdom.

The face of complete and utter defeat.

Five seconds!

[biwritesfics]

Broken Halos

An 18+ Tattoo Artist Steve story

Steve Rogers x Fem!reader 1k words

No use of y/n, the reader’s nickname is Angel.

This bit is pretty PG just a bit of language

*******************✩*******************

I fidget with my bike lock staring apprehensively at the tattoo and Piercing shop. Shield’s Tattoos and piercings was the store I had walked into on my eighteenth birthday clutching my ID and a 50 dollar bill. That’s when I met Nat. She pierced my ears and chatted with me over sodas. I came to her for the next five, filling my ears top to bottom on both sides. She had been begging me to get a tattoo but Nat wasn’t an artist and she was the only person I let stick needles in my body, well until now.

I had a meeting with Nat’s friend Steve to talk about a tattoo. He was fresh off army service give or take about a month he spent soul searching on an oil rig in the artic. Girls have gap years in Europe. I guess burly men have that. Nat had sung his praises and reassured me a million times that he was great but here I was standing outside the shop quaking like a leaf. They could probably see me so my fear of looking like an idiot outweighed my fear of strange men and prolonged exposure to needles.

The bell above the door rings as I enter. The shop smells like incense and cleaning solution, an aggressive combination that I had somehow grown to love. Nat turns the corner and hurries to wrap me in a warm hug. “God I can't believe you actually came! Your latest has healed nicely!” She refers to the small stud on my nose. I squeezed her tightly. “Yeah, the swelling went down in no time.”

“You must be Angel.” The deep voice is attached to a gorgeous statue of a man. He has baby blues that would make just about any woman North of the Mississippi weak in the knees. I blush before speaking. “It’s not my name but it's what everyone calls me. You must be Steve?” He nods and grins. That'd be me, sweetheart, wanna come back and take a look at some sketches I did?”

He escorts me to the back with a big hand resting between my shoulder blades, gently guiding me. “So I talked to Nat a bit and read the notes you sent so I did a few sketches. Some are more simple than others, just look and see what you like and I can make tweaks.” He slides a sketchbook across the table as I sit down. I flip through it gently admiring the sketches. There were flowers, books, even a bicycle but none of those caught my eye. It was the very last sketch that I knew was it.

“It’s a-“ “Seraphim” I finished, interrupting him in my excitement. “Sorry,” I apologize, embarrassed that I just blurted it out. “No no it’s okay I'm just happy you recognized what it was,” Steve reassures me. “It’s gorgeous, what placement do you think would be best?” I trace my fingers over the lines utterly in love with the image. “It’d make a pretty awesome back piece. I could really let it take up the room it deserves but it would take more than one appointment.” He says this hesitantly as if not wanting to force me into a commitment.

“I don't mind if you don't?” I tell him, seeing his face would be a bonus to go along with the tattoo. It was like a free art viewing just being in his presence. “Sounds like we've got a deal Angel.” His hand is warm when I shake it. “Clint will talk about billing later but I'm not worried about it. We can start today if you'd like? I just have to get a stencil going.” I nod happily. “That sounds good, thank you Steve.” “Anytime sweetheart”

I end up sitting/laying on the tattoo chair, my unclasped bra being the only thing reserving my dignity. Steve gently applies the stencil to my back. “Alright Angel this isn't gonna be horrible but it ain't gonna be pleasant either so let me know if you need a break. I'm sure you'll do good.” His Brooklynn accent comes out a bit thicker than usual. “Alright” I prepare myself for the buzzing and the pain but once the needle touches my skin it’s actually not the worst.

“So you from around here Sweetheart?” I laugh but try and keep it restrained because of the needle on my back. “No, I'm from a tiny town in Vermont up near Canada. I ran to New York the moment I turned 18. How about you? Brooklyn right? “Born and bred a couple blocks from here. Vermont has the leaves thing right?” I chuckle. “Yeah, leaf peeping when all the tourists come in. My Dad always hated it, he said if they were coming to see God’s handiwork they could bother to come into God’s house. He's a priest so..”

Steve sucks air in through his teeth. “I understand must've been tough with a priest as your old man.” “You could definitely say that. He was more into God’s wrath than his love and forgiveness,” My voice comes out smaller and sadder than I mean it to. Steve’s voice darkens. “I’d like to show him some of my wrath” It was aggressive but it warmed my heart. “I think I'd like to see that,” I laugh. “Just say the word doll, can’t waste all this military training just cause I'm discharged.

“Special Forces right?” I can't see but I think he nods. “105th infantry then special forces. We were up in all the Europe Russia shit before it exploded up there.” “Thank you, really” “Eh just doin my part to fix the shitty system Doll. I think we're at a good stopping point. I'll get you all cleaned up here.” He sanitizers the area again and leaves me to get dressed. I throw my top back on but before I look at the progress on my back. It's gorgeous.

When I walk out Steve is at the front desk with Clint. “Hey Angel, I see Nat finally convinced you to get tatted.” I smile. “Yep she wore me down, how are Laura and the kids?” “Good, the boys are growing like weeds. Lila's getting college mail. She’s sixteen I feel like I’ll blink and she’ll be 21” I smile sympathetically. “Well the only one that’s turning 21 is Angellll!” Kate Clint’s niece singsongs walking out from the back carrying a box of cleaning supplies.

I groan. “You guys promised not to make a big deal of it.” Steve raises an eyebrow. Nat who was sitting silently in the corner grins. “Angel likes to think that her birthday doesn’t deserve a big fuss but if it’s up to anyone at this shop it’s gonna be a big deal and it’s gonna be on Saturday.” I glare at Nat. “You said just drinks.” She walks over, putting her arm around me. “I said there’d be drinks not that’d it be just drinks” I sigh and turn to Steve. “Well then if you’d like to join the madness you’re invited” “It’s a date” he replies.

[helianskies]

okay. so. i'm a bit miffed and maybe a bit disgruntled, and am not sure how to shift my mood after having a really good and wonderfully sunny day.

ready?

go.

so i've just seen my two closest friends (guy and girl) from undergrad are in london together doing idk what. idk if it's dinner, if they've spent the day together, not a clue. now, i'm not bothered by the fact it's just them and i'm not there (i had work and couldn't really spare the money to train it to london). what bothers me is the radio silence we've both had from our guy friend, who, last i checked, was not working, had gone galavanting around italy, and wasn't replying to our messages. back in january/feb the three of us were trying to arrange a weekend we could all meet and he was the one to say 'i'm not sure what i'm doing, let me check my diary and get back to you' and then he never did. and he did the same to myself and another mutual friend after he was the one to suggest we meet now she's back in the uk (the three of us haven't stood in the same room for five years; i had no idea she was even back from mexico until he said). so. while i proceeded to text him to ask if he was okay, having not heard from him back in feb, and then give him space when he didn't reply (because if he hasn't responded then he's not in a good place to talk and that's fine), and he narrowly forgot to wish me a happy birthday on my actual birthday (he texted me at 1am), and i wished him a happy easter which then went unanswered... 1) the fact he's suddenly back in the uk is fucking news to me; 2) i'm upset he hasn't made any kind of contact when evidently he's reached out to our friend in london to arrange to meet her; and 3) i've got the mindset now where our london friend is coming over to where to see me for a long weekend at the start of may, but if he wants to tag along, i might genuinely turn around and say no. because the two of us arranged it after being tired of waiting, and her free weekends are rare, and i would like a very calm and relaxing weekend just before my exams begin and i think i'd be too irritable if my friend, who hasn't spoken to me properly in a couple of months, was suddenly around me for 3 days straight and potentially wanting to stay over at mine. 1) no room. 2) i think i'd go insane. not just because of how i'm feeling but also because of his character. anyway. all that to say... miffed! and in a bad mood! i was about to sit down and enjoy an evening of writing, and then i saw a photo of them both and now im :l

like tf

[imagine-you]

Living As Foes (5/11) [Eddie Munson/Reader]

Summary: It only takes you one week to realize Eddie Munson hates you. It only takes you one year to fall in love with him. Go figure.

Word Count: 2.5k

Author's Note: Based on a prompt I received: "ok random idea because eddie seems like a bug flirt but when he has a legit crush hes hopeless so reader is so confused because eddie flirts with everyone except her"

Thank you to everyone for your patience. I've been so exhausted lately. But please know I haven't abandoned this or any of my fics. Also, this is now a fix-it fic. Because I have to.

June 1985:

You thought you would feel different once you graduated.

You should feel liberated. You should feel free. The whole rest of your life was right there in front of you, ready to be explored.

Instead, you just felt a bit confused and lost and disappointed.

You assumed that since you didn't have school, you would still have work. You had to save up for college, which meant you would need to take every shift Colleen could throw your way.

It turned out that your dad and Colleen had other plans for you.

When you walked into the diner during the first weekend of June, only to realize your hours had been cut, you felt like your whole world was coming down around you. Was Colleen gearing up to fire you? Were you not doing a good enough job? What would you do when you had no money and no future and no hope?

You felt like you were on the verge of panicking right in the middle of the Saturday night dinner rush, which was visibly apparent enough that Colleen pulled you aside right after serving drinks to a family of five.

"C'mon, honey," Colleen coaxed, ushering you into her office. "We've got to talk."

"I'm sorry," you blurted out once the door was shut.

Colleen quirked an eyebrow at you before gesturing for you to take a seat in her office chair. "Sorry? What for?"

"I must've done something, right? Because you're firing me?"

"Oh, no, honey," Colleen sighed, moving to lean against her desk. "I'm not firing you. As long as I'm alive and running this place, you'll always have a job here. So, don't go worrying about that, alright?"

You furrowed your brow in confusion, frowning up at Colleen. "But if I'm not fired, then why are you cutting my hours? I've got school to worry about. And my family--"

"And that's why," Colleen cut you off, "you're going to enjoy your summer."

"But--"

"No," Colleen immediately argued, shaking her head. "I haven't known you for very long, but I know you've got the whole world on your shoulders. Most kids these days would be partying away their last summer before college, but all you want to do is work. And I know you think you've got to, but I've had a talk with your father, and we both think you need to enjoy this time while you can."

"My dad?" You blurted in surprise, wondering just when the hell he had found the time to have a conversation with your boss.

"He's worried about you," Colleen answered, offering you a sympathetic look. "And I am too. You're going to burn yourself out before you even take your first class this fall. I want you to enjoy this summer. Have fun and do something stupid and make some memories, sweetheart."

"But I've got to save up--"

"Don't worry about that," Colleen interrupted you again. "You've spent all this time taking care of others, let someone take care of you for once."

You figured Colleen wasn't about to let you argue with her, but you were still worried. Was your dad going to take care of your tuition? There was no way he could afford it. If you didn't work all summer long, there was no way you could afford it either. The last thing you needed now was a pay cut.

It wasn't until you got your first paycheck that you realized exactly what Colleen had meant.

You had only worked half your usual hours, but received full time pay.

You tried to tell Colleen it was too much, and you couldn't accept money for work you hadn't done, but Colleen wouldn't let you refund any of the extra pay. Instead, she merely smiled at you and then sent you home with a fresh-baked pie to share with your family.

Your sister was off at summer camp having the time of her life and your dad was busy working, so Stacy was more than happy to make sure you enjoyed your free time. She dragged you to Starcourt and made you go shopping, which you secretly loved. You both went to the pool, where Stacy did her best to get Billy Hargrove's attention, and you tried not to roll your eyes too hard. You both went to Scoops Ahoy, where you traded awkward nods and smiles with Steve, and tried not to remember kissing him in front of half the senior class.

By mid-June, you had to admit to yourself, you were having a fantastic summer. You were still saving up for college, but you were also taking the time to enjoy yourself without worrying about your other responsibilities. Your sister was sending you letters every other day, assuring you she was having fun and making friends, and your dad didn’t seem so stressed out once he realized that both his kids were happy.

Whenever Stacy couldn't hang out with you, you still found yourself following a routine. You would go to the pool in the morning, and then hit the mall in the afternoon. You would get a cone from Scoops Ahoy, indulging in small talk with Steve, before either making your way to the diner for your shift or going home for dinner with your dad.

It was on one of those Stacy-free mornings when you struck up an odd friendship with Billy Hargrove.

You were sitting in one of the pool loungers, halfway through your book pick of the week, when a shadow fell over you.

You glanced up to see Billy standing there, a smirk on his face before he popped a stick of gum in his mouth.

"Where's your friend?"  

"At her aunt's house," you told him, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Why do you care?"

"I don't," he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Just wondered why she wasn't here practically begging me to fuck her."

"Gross," you groaned, shaking your head. "That's my best friend."

"Yeah? Well, your best friend has it bad. It's kind of pathetic."

You shot a glare up at Billy. "Don't you have a job to do?" You couldn't help but ask, wondering why today of all days, Billy Hargrove had decided to talk to you.

"Well, yeah," Billy said, dropping down onto the lounger beside you. "But it's all little brats running around and housewives eyeing me up. You're the only one here who's actually my age."

"So? Doesn't mean I'm interested in you."

Billy laughed, shooting you a look like he didn't fully believe you. "Oh, c'mon. I'm bored, alright? Talk to me about anything. I don't even care what it is, just anything."

You frowned at Billy for a moment, before you held up the book in your hand. "Want me to tell you about The Shining?"

Billy squinted his eyes at the cover for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders. "Beats watching a bunch of snot-nosed kids run around. What's it about?"

You struck up an odd camaraderie with Billy that mostly consisted of Billy griping about his job and Hawkins and his family while you told him about whatever book you were currently reading or about your job at the diner.

While you never thought you'd be able to stand Billy Hargrove, he turned out to have a sarcastic, biting wit that surprised laughs out of you when you least expected it. Stacy didn't seem to know what to make out of the development, but once she actually started joining in on your conversations, you knew her crush on Billy only got worse.

You started spending more and more of your free time at the pool, so by the time July was approaching, you found yourself looking forward to the moments when you could do anything but try to play wing woman for Stacy.

You loved Stacy. She was your best friend. But you didn't want to feel like an awkward third wheel for your whole summer break.

"It's just, he's so hot, y'know?" Stacy said, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. You were on your lunch break in the middle of a slow night at the diner, so you doubted Earl at the bar gave a damn about Stacy's crush or the family of four sitting across the room, which made Stacy's attempt at secrecy even more amusing. "But he's also kind of a dick. But I think he might like me. Do you think he likes me? I mean, he hasn't asked me out or anything, but maybe he will. That big Fourth of July celebration is coming up. Maybe I should see if he's going," Stacy continued, ignoring the sound of the bell over the door sounding, letting you know someone else had entered the diner.

You glanced up, freezing at the sight of Eddie Munson walking through the door.

"Oh look, it's the freak," Stacy sneered over her shoulder.

"He's not a freak," you immediately defended as you watched Eddie curiously look around the diner. He noticed you sitting near the back corner of the room with Stacy and ducked his head. He went to the booth closest to the door and dropped down into the seat that had his back facing you.

He glanced quickly over his shoulder at you before picking up his menu and studying it. When you looked back at Stacy, she was already watching you.

"Oh my God," she breathed.

"Shut up," you snapped.

"You have a thing for Munson?!" Stacy hissed in surprise.

"Shut up," you groaned, resisting the urge to hit your head against the table.

"I mean, Steve, that would make sense. It's Steve Harrington, you know? But him?" Stacy asked, her voice an insulting shade of incredulity.

"Could you just not? It's just a phase, alright? A really unfortunate phase, because I’m pretty sure he hates me."

"I doubt that," Stacy snorted. "You're like...the most likable person I know. He'd be an idiot not to have a thing for you too."

You couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for Stacy in that moment. She thought Eddie was no better than a piece of trash she'd find stuck to her shoe, but she quickly went from insulting him to reassuring you that he had to like you back. You knew you had truly lucked out in the best friend department, and you would be forever grateful that life had decided to throw the two of you together.

"I've got to get back to work," you sighed, reluctantly pushing yourself to stand. "Want another milkshake?"

"On the house?" Stacy checked, already pushing her empty glass towards you.

"Duh," you muttered, shooting her a grin.

You got Stacy another strawberry milkshake, making sure to add extra cherries, but go easy on the whipped cream just like she preferred, before you forced yourself to approach Eddie.

You had to practically give yourself a pep talk as you walked towards his table.

It's okay.

You've got this.

He won't bite.

Destroy you, sure, you thought. But only because he didn't know about your doomed crush.

"Welcome to Colleen's," you found yourself saying once you were standing next to him. "What can I get for you?" You were glad you had entered your own personal mode of autopilot since you were secretly freaking out. 

"Hey, uh, there," Eddie started, drumming his fingers on the tabletop before he started absentmindedly playing with the sugar packets he had pulled out of the holder that also housed the ketchup, mustard, and pancake syrup. "Right, I should order something," he grumbled. He bit his bottom lip, staring determinedly at the menu before glancing nervously up at you. "How about coffee? That sounds good."

"Alright," you agreed, simply writing down 'coffee' on your order pad just to give yourself something to do. "Coming right up."

You shot Stacy a panicked look as you crossed over to the bar. You nodded at Earl when he shot you a worried look before moving to grab a mug from the stand next to the coffee pot. You didn't know if Eddie wanted decaf or not, but since you were currently out of decaf, you figured he would just have to settle for regular coffee.

When you turned back around, you were surprised to see Colleen standing next to Eddie's table. She had a huge grin on her face as she listened to whatever Eddie was telling her.

You were glad to at least have Colleen as a buffer, but as you got closer, you felt ridiculously jealous of her. What the hell was Eddie telling her to make her look like that?

"Well, you know, I heard this was the hottest spot in town, but it's not because of the food. Should've figured a pretty lady like you would be bringing in all the business," Eddie flirted, gifting Colleen with a wide grin.

"Oh, well, aren't you sweet? But I'll have you know," Colleen started, her eyes flicking up to meet yours. You felt yourself freeze for a moment, instinctively knowing that whatever was about to happen was going to be incredibly embarrassing. "Y/N here is way prettier than I am, so she must be the one bringing in all the customers."

Eddie looked up at you as you set down his cup of coffee in front of him. There was an awkward, expectant silence before Eddie cleared his throat and wrapped his hands around the mug. "Shit," he hissed, shaking out his hands. "That's hot."

Colleen glanced from Eddie to you and back again before her jovial demeanor changed. "Right, well, best to drink your coffee and go, young man. It's getting late," she told him before she walked away, sending you a pointed look.

"Right, right," Eddie agreed, nodding his head. "Well, I shouldn't be drinking coffee anyways. Makes me too damn jittery. Thanks, though" he sighed before he stood up. He placed a five-dollar bill down on the table, not even bothering to look at you, before brushing past you. You watched him take the time to stick his tongue out at the toddler sitting with her family, before practically stumbling through the exit into the parking lot. You stood there, thoughts a whirlwind, wondering why the hell he would leave a four dollar tip for a cup of coffee he didn't even bother to drink.

"So, what's his deal?" Colleen asked, startling you. "Kid was all smooth until you came over. He got a problem with you? Because if he's giving you trouble, then I won't allow him in here anymore."

"No, don't worry about it," you sighed, watching Eddie's van taillights slowly pull out of the parking lot. "He's just...a guy I knew from school," you finally conceded with a grimace.

"Well, if I need to ban him, you just let me know," Colleen told you, patting you on the shoulder, before walking over to Earl to ask how he was liking his burger.

You picked up Eddie's abandoned cup of coffee and moved to pour it out in the sink in the kitchen. You didn't know why Eddie would show up at Colleen's and you certainly didn't know why he would order something he had no intention of drinking. You started wiping down the bar, one thought stuck in your mind for the rest of your shift.

What the hell was Eddie's deal?

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long. Life has been crazy and stressful. We just had to call the cops on an angry drunk guy the other night because he threatened to kill my manager...so...yeah. Life has been a lot. Thank you everyone for your patience! I promise to let up on the slow burn soon.

[frombirkhallwithlove]

So I noticed on your wife’s blog that she mentioned that you also associate Taylor Swift songs with Charles and Camilla so I was wondering which ones you thought are most like them??

Thanks so much for this wonderful and inspiring question! In fact, I think that quite a lot of Taylor songs could actually be written for / about Their Majesties (they most certainly aren't but I think they "pitch perfect"). A couple of months ago, I started a little something I haven't posted anywhere yet but I'm happy to share it here (and please do let me know what you think! 🥰)

Charles & Camilla's love story in quotes from Taylor Swift songs...

"We were both young when I first saw youI close my eyes and the flashback startsI'm standin' there..."

~ Love Story (obviously 🥰)

"And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us. He's in the club doing, I don't know what"

~ Gorgeous (Camilla about Andrew... I mean he IS older then them 😅 and I'm afraid the second part was just like that as well...)

"Walked in expecting you'd be late

But you got here early and you stand and wave

I walk to you

You pull my chair out and help me in

And you don't know how nice that is

But I do

And you throw your head back laughing

Like a little kid

I think it's strange that you think I'm funny, 'cause

He never did

I've been spending the last eight months

Thinking all love ever does

Is break and burn, and end

But on a Wednesday in a cafe

I watched it begin again"

~ Begin Again (because Charles treated her so much better than A. and sadly she hadn't only spent eight months but in fact five years with him at that point 👀)

"And I don't know why

But with you I'd dance in a storm

In my best dress

Fearless"

~ Fearless (for when Camilla found herself in love with the Prince of Wales... )

"But you know what they say, you can't help who you fall for

And you and I fell like an early spring snow

But reality crept in, you said we're too different"

~ I bet you think about me (for when they split (?) in December 1972 and Charles left to join the Navy... I do indeed bet they thought about each other all the time... 🥺)

"It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December all the time"

~ Back to December (for when Camilla realised that A. wasn't going to change even after their wedding and she might or might not have started to regret going back to him after Charles joined the Navy in December (!!!) of the previous year 💔

"It's nice to have a friend..."

~ obviously 🤭 (for the time they rekindled their friendship after she had married A.)

"And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite"

~ Cardigan (because he still managed to make her happy and feel good about herself while A. still treated her... well, the way the did...)

"And when we've had our very last kiss

My last request is

Say you'll remember me

Standing in a nice dress

Staring at the sunset, babe

Red lips and rosy cheeks

Say you'll see me again

Even if it's just in your wildest dreams"

~ Wildest dreams (before he married his first wife 😭)

"She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen

But I know you wish it was me

You wish it was me

Don't you?

Don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door

Don't wait, or say a single vow

You need to hear me out

And they said, "Speak Now""

~ Speak Now (if only I could go on a time traveller and do exactly that on a certain day in July '81)

"You've got a smile that can light up this whole town

I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down..."

~ You belong with me (... 😔)

"She said "James, get in, let's drive"

Those days turned into nights

Slept next to her, but

I dreamt of you all summer long"

~ Betty (for when he realised he still loved her 😭)

"'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well"

~ All too well (for when they finally got back together ❤️)

"Make sure nobody sees you leave

Hood over your head, keep your eyes down

Tell your friends you're out for a run

You'll be flushed when you return

Take the road less traveled by

Tell yourself you can always stop

What started in beautiful rooms

Ends with meetings in parking lots"

~ Illicit affairs (for obvious reasons, around the late 80s/ early 90s

"Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it

My love

They are the hunters, we are the foxes

And we run

Baby, I know places we won't be found and

They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

'Cause I, I know places we can hide"

~ I know places (for back when they could only meet at "safe houses" from a handful of friends 🥺)

"And your secrets end up splashed on the news front page [...]

Another name goes up in lights

You wonder if you'll make it out alive"

~ The Lucky One (for 1993... 😭💔)

"My castle crumbled overnight

I brought a knife to a gunfight

They took the crown, but it's alright

All the liars are calling me one

Nobody's heard from me for months"

~ Call it what you want (for when Camilla more or less had to go into "lockdown" following the "revelations" 😔 Glad they did NOT take the crown, though)

"I've been under scrutiny

You handle it beautifully

All this shit is new to me

I feel the lavender haze creepin' up on me

Surreal, I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say

No deal, the 1950s shit they want from me

I just wanna stay in that lavender haze"

~ Lavender Haze (for the mid-90s)

"'Cause baby, I could build a castle

Out of all the bricks they threw at me

And every day is like a battle

But every night with us is like a dream"

~ New romantics (mid-/late 90s)

"Seems like there's always someone who disapproves

They'll judge it like they know about me and you

And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do

The jury's out, but my choice is you

So don't you worry your pretty, little mind

People throw rocks at things that shine

And life makes love look hard

The stakes are high, the water's rough

But this love is ours"

~ Ours (for when they finally "went public" from 1999 onwards 🥰❤️

"Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone

I keep waiting for you, but you never come

Is this in my head? I don't know what to think

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, "Marry me, Juliet

You'll never have to be alone

I love you and that's all I really know

I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress

It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes""

~ Love Story, for when he finally asked her and she agreed 😍😍😍😭

"But in your life you'll do things

Greater than dating the boy on the football team

But I didn't know it at fifteen"

~ Fifteen (because I think our darling girl really had no idea that she was going to do MUCH greater things in her life than dating/marrying a certain Cavalry Officer even at 25... and probably not even at 57, when she finally married her Prince 🤭)

"I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

And now I see daylight, I only see daylight"

~ Daylight (because she was finally married to the love of her life and slowly but surely began to discover her potential and became more and more confident in her role 🥰)

"Stick with me, I'm your Queen."

~ London Boy (for when destiny fulfilled itself and she did become his Queen... 🥺😭)

"Long live the walls

We crashed through

How the kingdom lights shined

Just for me and you

I was screaming long live

All the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders

One day we will be remembered"

~ Long Live (because the kingdom lights will shine for them on May 6th 😍😍😍)

[mordellestories]

Bilbo's Journal Entry:

There's a ghost in my smial, though he's changed since last I saw him. The phantom wears his face. The face of Thorin Oakenshield himself. It's been years since I last saw him, since he fell in battle on Ravenhill. I mourned him then, mourned for him for... years on end. Maybe I never stopped. Because despite being able to see and hear and even touch, if I had the nerve to, my heart has not mended. In fact, I could say that my heart has been ripped open once more. I couldn't believe that my dear friend was dead, that I would never see him again. It took so long, much too long to believe him gone forever. But now he's here, walking around in my home, sleeping in the bedroom down the hall... and I don't know what to think.

The sight of Thorin alive and well is both a blessing and a curse. Every time I see him, I am reminded of his death, of the pain and grief I felt when I lost him. The memories are vivid in my mind. I still have nightmares about the perils we encountered on our journey, of the dwarf king, no, my friend, bleeding out, turning paler by the second, the light leaving his eyes… while I could do nothing to stop it.

Thorin and I had been through so much together. We had journeyed to the Lonely Mountain, fought against the dragon Smaug, and reclaimed the dwarves' lost kingdom. It was a journey that changed us both, that brought us closer together. We became friends, true friends, and I had never felt closer to anyone in my life.

But then the Battle of Five Armies happened. It was a brutal and bloody affair, and I feared for Thorin's life with every passing moment. When he was struck down, when I saw him fall, I felt like a part of me had been cleaved away.

I couldn't believe that he was gone, that I would never see him again.

And yet, here he is, alive and well. It's a miracle, really. I still don't know how it happened, how he came back to life. Thorin says it could be because he is Durin's heir, whom they call The Deathless. He also thinks it could be due to being buried with the Arkenstone. All I know is that I am grateful for every moment that I get to spend with him, for every word that he speaks to me, no matter how painful it gets sometimes. It's like a badly stitched wound that has never quite healed has been tearing open little by little.

I've missed him so much. I missed our conversations, our laughter, our adventures. The problem is, I don't know how to behave around him now that he's back. It's like we've both been drastically changed from the inside out.

The first time I saw him after his resurrection, I couldn't believe my eyes. I thought I was dreaming, that it was some cruel trick of fate. But then he spoke, dear Yavanna, when I heard that beloved voice... I knew that it was really him though my mind rebelled against it all. It's strange to see him now, to hear his voice, to feel his presence. It's like a part of me that I thought was lost has suddenly been found. But at the same time, it's like a weight has been placed upon my shoulders, a weight of grief and loss that I thought I had left behind.

The night I spent in Thorin's bed was both comforting and agonizing. We both fell asleep quickly after the mess of emotions we had to process, and he'd journeyed so far to come to here of all places!

READ MORE

[johnlone-collection]

The Casting of the Last Emperor

[1]

Q:Are you happy with John Lone's performance?

A:I am grateful to Joanna Merlin for having introduced me to John Lone; she's now the casting director with all the Chinese actors in her pocket. With John I felt what I normally feel when I have to choose an actor. I can tell after five minutes if it's going to work out.He has a certain magnetism which intrigued me and which I couldn't understand immediately. I couldn't tell if it was his striking beauty per se or if it was the wild blend of races that he embodies so perfectly.（Bertolucci by Bertolucci,282）

[2]

Q: Have you seen John Lone's films before he was cast as the Emperor?

A: No, I first met John Lone and Joan Chan (as Wan Rong) on the same day at the Marmont Hotel in Los Angeles. I immediately decided to use them both. I knew it was impossible to find another actor as special as Lone. Not only does he have a noble temperament, but he has very unique acting talent. I had never seen anyone else study Peking Opera, which is the most difficult acting technique, and then he came here to study American acting methods. It's very rare to be able to blend the two together.

The Last Emperor and Beyond: An Interview with Italian Director Bertolucci by Danny McClain

Source:Compilation Reference, 1988.4, No. 124, Ministry of Culture, Foreign Languages Bureau, Editorial Department, Compilation Reference

[3]

- What are the reasons for choosing John Lone?

Bertolucci: I think John Lone is the only actor who can play such a special role as Pu Yi! Lone is a very good adult, but he also has the youthful quality of playing an 18 year old. I have also never seen his work "Year of the Dragon" as well as his stage plays. After this film project was confirmed, when I was selecting actors, I had an intuition that he was the best choice to play Pu Yi after being introduced by an acquaintance.

- Did you make any special request for John Lone?

Bertolucci: I didn't say anything, I just said that it's different from any role you've played before. Open the "drawer" you've never opened and reassemble it! It's all rather conventional advice.

- Before filming began, I heard that the director put John Lone through a lot of tests for the role he needed to play, didn't he?

Bertolucci: Well, it took eight weeks, and I acted as a guide for Lone in order for him to get to know China. It was Lone's idea to go walking around the streets in the emperor's clothes. We were very happy that he came up with such an idea and of course readily agreed!

- From Japanese interview Reporter: Hakata Koji

[4]

Michael Cimino ("The Deer Hunter") mentioned how he recommended John Lone to Bertolucci

I had hundreds and hundreds of tapes of professionals and non-professionals reading the John Lone part, reading the Tracy Tsu part, reading all the part..

It's a world-wide effort, that's why when Bernardo came to do the Last Emperor right following Year of the Dragon- We've been friends for a long time - and he called me about the casting, and I said, look, Bernardo,l just spent a year going all over the world interviewing every actor and every possibility, and you don't have a choice.

He said, what do you mean? What are you using?

I said, John Lone! You'll get Lone great, he would be perfect.

And the movie was a great success.

And John turned out to be wonderful to be worked with.

Hе and Mickey made complement each other beautifully.

They were one of those magic combinations. And they gave me what I wanted.

If I were a violinist, John Lone would be like the structive areas, I could play any note on him.

Whatever I needed, he gave me. He was one of the rare actors that...

He was just so easy to work with...

He was one of the last people, to be an apprentice to the old Peking Opera,

where you send your kid there. And he spent ten years [correction: should be seven years] just learning every aspect of performance. He is a great singer, in fact, in Japan, he is а quite well-known singer. He is a great dancer, he is good at martial arts, he can do damnly anything.

[5]

Los Angeles Times 1/3/1986

Chinese-American actor John Lone, who starred in The Year of the Dragon," will play the young and middle-age Pu Yi.

BERNARDO BERTOLUCCI To FILM LIFE OF CHINA'S LAST EMPEROR

L.A. TIMES ARCHIVES JAN.3, 1986 12 AM PT

PEKING - Italian movie director Bernardo Bertolucci plans to film the life of China's last emperor in a $20-million production using more than 10,000 costumes, a Peking film official said.

Xu Chunqing, a deputy manager of the China Film Co-production Corp., said the 18-week filming of The Last Emperor would start at former imperial residences in Peking and Changchun next April.

The film is based on an autobiography by Henry Pu Yi, who became emperor in 1908 at age 2 and was overthrown in 1911 when the Chinese republic was founded.

In 1934, he became emperor" of a puppet state in northeast China set up by invading Japanese forces, was later tried as a war criminal in Tokyo and jailed in China for nine years until 1959. He died in 1967.

Chinese-American actor John Lone, who starred in The Year of the Dragon, will play the young and middle-age Pu Yi.

Wu said the script by Bertolucci and two associates had been corrected and approved by China's culture ministry.

[6]

John Lone- Interview (The Last Emperor) 11-7-87 [Reelin' In The Years Archive]

[7]

The role of the Emperor went to John Lone (the prehistoric ice-mummy in Fred Schepisi's "Iceman'' and the master criminal in Michael Cimino's "Year of the Dragon'').

Mr. Bertolucci met Mr. Lone, who was trained at the Peking Opera School in Hong Kong, while casting in Los Angeles. 'I chose him at first sight,' the director said. ''

I felt something very intense when I first saw him, together with a kind of weirdness. I felt that he had a natural makeup on his face, and the tough discipline of the Peking Opera had been sublimated in a kind of great inner tension. I think it's a very good alternative to the New York Actors Studio.'

Mr. Lone plays Pu Yi from an 18-year-old to a man in his 60's and came to China early to study the ways and manners of old people. "They have a very different kind of old age than the Westerner, a different superficial esthetic to their inner strength, a different body language,' Mr. Lone says.

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[thedaveandkimmershow]

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 10

With my first alarm having tripped at 330AM and our previous night having been lengthened by that healthy bit of Back to the Future 3, we couldn't have got more than four hours of sleep. If that.

Still, the reality of catching our flight brought us to immediate lucidity and we were out the door by 420.

The DoubleTree's not more than five minutes from Doug Fox Parking and, since the shuttle snaps us right up and delivers us to the terminal, we check our bags in by 445. That's fifteen minutes before our Spot Saver appointment that cuts us to the front of the TSA check point line. Unfortunately, Spot Saver actually starts service at 5AM and the person who's supposed to run it isn't there yet. Isn't there yet.

Isn't there yet.

So we bail and get through the TSA check point in less time than we were standing around waiting for Spot Saver to open.

Go figure.

We're through the check point by 515, boarded a little after 545, and by 6 I'm already starting to nod off again, spending this first leg of our flight somewhere between fully awake... and fully asleep.

We manage a quick change of flight in Denver then we're in the air again, reaching Orlando a touch after five in the afternoon. We spent that flight, by the way, studying (Kimmer) and reading (me).

From Orlando International Airport (MCO), we hitch a Lyft. Actually... no we don't. We summon a Lyft whose ETA keeps changing, stretching 7 minutes into 30. And when the app indicates our ride's arrived?

Yeah. We can't find it, subsequently getting a call from the driver that they're on the level above us (departures) and can't find the route down to us. At which point both the driver and I decide this was not meant to be and I summon an Uber instead that shows up five minutes later.

The Uber driver's from Haiti and, as with a number of drivers from countries currently undergoing or having undergone outright war or violent oppression, his story is at times a bitter pill. There's more to him that just the negative, of course. He has family that's here in the States right now. I think his dad's the only member of the family who's staying put because he's very much an I was born here, I'm gonna die here kind of human being.

By 'n by, we bid each other fare thee wells at Universal's Endless Summer Dockside Resort. We stayed here a couple nights last year, spending a day in Universal Studios theme park before heading off to immerse ourselves in Disney which, as it turns out, sort of cured us of Disney for awhile, so now its all Universal all the time for us for the foreseeable future.

Now, the line to check in's kinda long but there's a family with a baby in a stroller ahead of us so we amuse ourselves (and the baby) by waving and making faces. The baby has an older brother who also serves as entertainment and, before you know it, we're at the desk checking in.

We don't realize it until later when we open the door to our room that the super nice person who checked us in also upgraded us to a suite after handing us a pair of buttons to commemorate our 31st wedding anniversary. She even wrote out 31st Anniversary by hand with a Sharpie. And she recommended what she considers to be one of the best taco restaurants around because Kimmer mentioned her love of authentic Mexican food.

By the time we're squared away in our room, it's coming up on 8 which is pretty all right because we've had a long day and we choose to end it as if we were home: with an episode of Madame Secretary and continuing a Harry Potter movie. In this case it's the beginning of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 1 where they're all set to take off from Number 4 Privet Drive, attempting to confuse and avoid Death Eaters.

At some point in there... we fall asleep.

And then at some other point I wake up briefly, use the remote to turn off the TV, then fall back asleep again.

Thus endeth our first day in Orlando.

🙂

[marsyas-brainweasels]

Playing The Last of Us Part 2 for the first time, part two

Part one is here

All right chums, let's do this. ABBYYYYYY... uh... okay, I don't know her last name. But let's assume I shouted her last name in appropriately dramatic fashion.

Reminder: SPOILERS FOR THE LAST OF US PART 2. Probably spoilers for The Last of Us. Please don't spoil parts of this game that I haven't played yet!

The playthrough continues. We open on Abby. Abby, who continues to look amazingly cool, follows some dude named Owen through the snow until she reaches this scenic view of Jackson, and she's shocked by the sight of a full blown functional city with electricity and everything that's not controlled by FEDRA. Guess wherever she's from they aren't doing so hot.

I found this image of Abby on twitter. Girl's got muscles for days:

So Abby is looking for someone or trying to meet someone? Whoever it is, he lives in Jackson and she floats the idea of jumping one of Jackson's patrols and interrogating them before trying to infiltrate. That doesn't sound like it's gonna go well. Owen agrees that it's a terrible idea, and Abby is just like, "Fuck it," and goes off to do it on her own, leaving both Owen and her group behind, heading for this outpost she saw outside of Jackson that has lights on.

I'm gonna have to get her out of the trouble brought on by her own rash decision making, aren't I?

... Yup. Takes almost no time for her to get swarmed, and I get to fight a bunch of infected playing as Abby, which brings up a question: why are all these swarms of infected outside of Jackson in the middle of winter and not dead of frostbite or exposure or what have you? Is Jackson losing this many people on the regular? If so, how is it a thriving community and not a rapidly dwindling one?

Anyway. Abby makes her way through the storm. The storm gets worse and worse. Eventually, she happens upon horse tracks.

--------------

Scene change. We're back with Ellie and Dina on horseback riding through these creeks. They're on patrol.

... okay, I see where this is going.

There's more slice of life stuff and I love it. Dina is clearly into Ellie, and Ellie has no idea. She thinks Dina is just being Dina and is terrified of screwing up their friendship despite Dina LITERALLY KISSING HER LAST NIGHT. Suspect that if the two of them had been living together for five years, sharing the same bed, and having an active sex life, Ellie would likely still not be sure if they're girlfriends or not.

Dina: "Sweety, we've been dating for five years."

Ellie: *has no clue* "WE HAVE!?"

Dina: "..."

Anyway. They are perfect and adorable and I want them to be happy forever. But before I can get to them being happy forever, I have to deal with this abandoned supermarket full of infected. I deal with the first couple of runners no problem, and then there's a clicker, and it tears my throat out.

Okay. Let's try that again. I carefully creep up behind the clicker, preparing to kill it. It hears me, and it turns and shrieks and tears my throat out.

...

Okay. Screw it. I'm just going to shoot it. So I do! The clicker goes down. I manage to kill several runners, and then the second clicker grabs me and tears my throat out.

...

I am bad at this. Should I be playing this on moderate instead of on hard?

Eventually, I finally succeed in defeating the Infected, and it only takes me a dozen deaths! Dina and Ellie clear out the supermarket and they move on with their patrol, remounting their horses. The winter storm starts getting worse. They're gonna need to take shelter. After a bit, they find a place to take shelter in and turn on the lights while we learn more about Dina and how Ellie has spent the four years since the time skip, and they continue to be adorable and perfect and I love them.

The lights they turn on are probably the same lights that Abby saw. NGL, I would not be unhappy if Abby joined Ellie and Dina in a kind of Three's Company romantic comedy situation. Has someone written that fanfic yet? Somebody had better have written that fanfic. Abby can't possibly be straight, right? There's no way. Girl is lesbian catnip.

That's all I had time for this play session. Time to head off. I will continue tomorrow. Really enjoying this game so far!

Previous:

Next post:

[igotubabe-blog-blog]

September to Mid-October

Summer was good. but this Fall has been a tough, darker, sobering couple of months.

This may be a surprise, but I've decided to go in to hospice, and am about a week into it.

The change? September into October hit us with one crisis after another. First was devastating constipation I spent about ten hours one day battling. Utterly exhausting. The next day I needed to go to the hospital for an emergency catheter, because I couldn't pee.

A couple weeks later I had devastating diarrhea, that drained me of most of my energy. The next day I had to go to the hospital because I couldn't pee, and needed another emergency catheter.

A couple weeks later, Inga told me I needed to go to the emergency room because my blood oxygen was super low (she typically checks my vitals like three times a day). I said no, she said yes. So we called for an ambulance.

She was right: a couple hours later I was delirious with pain and getting IVs with antibiotics and painkillers. I was a mess. Turned out to be a combination of RSV and a UTI. I largely had recovered the next day. The hospital (Shady Grove) was so good I asked them to keep me for another day (which I NEVER do). And they said ok. The RSV really knocked me sideways.

Keep in mind I had stopped taking the chemo during this, probably in late September.

Montgomery County emergency teams are excellent. This last trip, I was too week to climb in our own car, so they came and got me.

Each of these events takes time to recover from. I'm not a normal guy: I'm a guy who's been battling cancer since 2019. I've had four major surgeries on my spine, 41 days of radiation (I'm proud to say my friend's cancer group thinks that is legendary), and been on various chemos for over a year.

These two guys have been so essential to us for years. Terrible pictures of both. Nils(L) is a physician's Assistant and is keeping watch over me until I can get out of the hospital (I haven't time to complain about the transport service the hospital uses). Bryan (R) is a former colleague and awesome friend who lifted me out of bed. Lifted me into our car, and got me out of the car, close to midnight, to get me home, because after 10 hours of waiting, transport still hadn't shown up. Legendary friends, who have been there for us more times than we can count.

Each event chips away at you. You're a little less strong, your mind works slower, I struggle to find simple words, I've been twenty-five pounds underweight for years, my legs stopped being able to hold me up.

Inga and I were talking about everything after, and when I would go back to chemo treatments. Maybe after this next weekend?

My answer was I didn't want to go back on chemo. And she understood.

After well over a year on different chemos, none of which stopped tumors from growing (though clearly slowed them from growing, but also caused their own problems) I didn't want to dive back into a circus that was depriving me/our family with a Dad who slept all the time. The catheters prevented me from returning to aquatherapy, one of my most joyful activities. Then after the last hospital trip, I had lost the strength to transfer into the wheelchair. That meant I was bed-bound. I couldn't go into the living room and interact with the boys. I couldn't get myself to the bathroom anymore. Doing any kind of PT exercises was very limited in the bed.

CURRENTLY

So here I am, at home in a hospice hospital bed that I can sit up or lay down in. Emmanual comes in three days a week to give me a shampoo and bath. He's awesome. And nurses who come in once a week. But there's def a bit of: here's your mechanical bed and some heavy duty meds and ...you're on your own. We were expecting more.

Word has been getting out, and we've seen an increase in visitors. I don't know how long that will last. Inga can only do so much. Lukas has a cold he's been unable to shake and Inga spent over two hours on hold trying to get an appt(!). When she brought him into the office, they told her she had to call to get an appt. Just insane. And I can't play with him because he's sick. I have paperwork to do (financial stuff + +) and have limited energy before I need a nap (I still sleep a lot).

If we're unable to meet or talk with you -it's not because we don't care, it's because we have limited bandwidth. Thanksgiving will come soon. Both boys have birthdays in December. Christmas, then New Years. I am hoping to make it into 2023. Tumors have shown us before that they can grow quickly. We don't know what will happen, when.

I have gotten incredibly generous emails from friends abroad. A phone call with a college friend I haven't seen in 28 years, though we have talked online occasionally. Amazing how easily chats with old friends go. That has been nice.

MOM

Just to add some goodness to this post, my sister Tracy was able to visit mom in Vermont this Fall, and to her credit, did mom a lot of good while she was there. Thanks for being there for her sis. I love you!

We have love for all of you following this, and for those rooting for us and supporting us in various ways. Thank you so much for all you've done(!). We love you back!

#love #friends #toddtacklescancer #fiskFamily

(11/13/22)

[plutofromafar]

stefaniya's letter to yelena

Summary: Stefaniya writes a letter to Yelena to catch her up on everything that's happened.

Warnings: none? just sad.

may 9, 2022

dear Yelena,

    hi. In two months, it'll be four years since we last saw each other. I really miss you. I have  so  much I want to tell you, things that I can't really put to paper. but when you come back, you can read this letter and then I'll tell you everything.

    sorry that it's taken me four years to write you a letter. the idea didn't even occur to me until Natasha brought up the fact that she had written letters for you to read when you come back. I thought I'd give this a try.

    Natasha, the Widows, and I are doing okay. we've been doing a lot of great work over the past four years. we freed all of the mind-controlled Widows— at least, the ones that survived the Snap— so we probably have a lot more work to do once we find a way to get everyone back. but as long as you do come back, I won't mind dealing with a bit more paperwork.

    Natasha and I made it official— we're girlfriends! we still have a lot to work through in our relationship but it feels good to be official. anyway, Natasha and I adopted a cat two years ago. Yardstick is five years old and she is an absolute angel. I know you'll say that the name is stupid, but I think it fits perfectly. I can't wait for you to meet her.

    speaking of, Natasha and I went on a road trip to Pennsylvania where I lived with my family before I was taken. It took a while to track down the exact house I lived in, but we found out that it isn't there anymore. It was demolished quite a while ago, which was disappointing, but I guess a lot can change in 27 years. but anyway, Natasha and I spent about two days there just going around to different places I used to like as a kid. It made me nostalgic, like a sad but happy nostalgia. does that even make sense? I don't know. I'm running on three hours of sleep and half a bagel right now.

    I really have no idea how this dusting thing works. does your soul or whatever go somewhere when you get dusted? can you see me as I'm writing this right now? can you hear me if I say something? Let me try. Okay, I just said, "turn off my lamp if you can hear me." my lamp is still on, so I guess that didn't work. I hope that you're together with Melina and Alexei. I have so many questions. If you can remember anything, please tell me about it later.

    can I be honest with you for a moment? I think Natasha's starting to lose hope. every lead we get, there's a dead end. I wish I could help, but this space stuff is way beyond my knowledge. but we'll get you back. that's a promise, and I've never broken a promise to you. except when I told you that we'd always be together. but that's grape man's fault for snapping his stupid fingers. how'd he even snap in a metal glove? It just doesn't add up.     (grape man is Thanos, by the way. we try to avoid saying his name. anyway,  it would make more sense if you knew what he looked like.)

I've been doing a lot of work with the animal shelter we adopted Yardstick from. It was starting to overcrowd because of the pets that lost its owners in the Snap, so we had an entire press day and cleared out the entire shelter in just eight hours. they were assigned into foster homes so that when their owners un-dust, they know where to go to get their pets back. I guess it helped to have two Avengers there (Steve offered to help out).

speaking of Avengers, it angers me to see what people are saying about them on the news, saying that it's their fault. they don't know that the Avengers tried their hardest and lost people, too. Natasha tells me that it doesn't bother her, but I can tell that it does, and it breaks my heart. I wish she could see how much of a hero she is to me.

anyway, that's all I have for now. Natasha and I are heading out for a dinner date in a little bit. we both love you so much. take care of yourself, wherever you are.

till we meet again.

your best friend always, SK

(Stef's doodle of Yardstick at the bottom of the paper)

End of Infinity War

Stefaniya Kotova will return in Endgame

-

Next part

hope you're enjoying the story! two parts left :)