#and it’d be a cold day in hell before i stop supporting them just bc we share different skin colors. wtf are you ppl even on jesus christ

[togamest]

just so y’all know. if you’re not the target audience for a story, or you don’t identify with the reader described in a story, but you’re friends with the author or simply enjoy the story and how it’s written…you’re allowed to reblog it and interact with it. you’re allowed to spread its reach. gatekeeping has its uses but for fan-made things let’s stop doing that. who is that helping??

[silverlightqueen]

Fallen

silverlightqueen’s SKZ Scarefest

angel!felix x demon!reader - comedy, fluff, felix worrying about losing his job as an angel lmao 

Word Count: 2.4k+

Summary - Felix is an angel. Literally. Like, from Heaven. And he’s the best at being one. Never has he let temptation lead him astray. Never has he stopped before doing what is right. Never has he abandoned his assigned humans, even those that provide the most challenge. He’s never stepped a toe out of line, always kept his crush on a particularly annoying demon a secret. That is, until, he wakes up in the bed of said annoying demon with lipstick stains on his skin and his halo a little crooked.

Warnings: explicit discussion of sex, making out, that’s it I think but let me know if I missed something please!

this is dedicated to the lovely @brinnalaine​ for being such a supportive sweetheart, so I hope you enjoy this little fic about our sunshine!

a/n: and here is the sixth instalment of my SKZ Scarefest! I’m sorry it’s so late in the day but I’ve spent all day at a theme park scarefest getting terrorised by clowns and dolls in terrifying mazes lmao. @silverlightprincess​ hasn’t actually proofread this but she proofreads everything else so I still want to thank her for being the best! I really hope you guys enjoy this bc it was really fun to write. please be sure to check out the previous parts and keep an eye out for the next parts too x

taglist: @kodzu-ken​ @cloudsgathering​ @silverlightprincess

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I wake up with something heavy on my face and a dizzy head from my mouth and nose being blocked. I try to take a deep breath and, instead, end up inhaling something soft and wispy, making me choke. I sit up suddenly, pushing the heavy thing off me with effort as I splutter, trying to empty my mouth of whatever it is that’s invaded it. And then I reach a finger into my mouth and end up pulling out feathers. Pure white and fringed feathers.

‘Did you just shove my wing, y/n?’ I hear Felix’s deep morning voice mumble into his pillow, and I shoot his back a dirty look, fishing his stupid feathers out of my mouth and trying to ignore the way I get butterflies in my stomach at hearing him say my name with that voice of his. He’s got his massive wings out for some stupid reason, one of them taking up my side of the bed whilst the other hangs over onto the floor. His hair, a lovely soft blond colour, is a fluffy mess on the pillow, and I can feel the heat that his body radiates despite only having the covers up to his hips, the band of his underwear just about visible.

I’ve been running into Felix quite a bit in the last few months – somehow he was always being assigned to humans in areas that I was… terrorising people in. Angels and demons have always had a… rocky relationship, but Felix was too pure, too kind, too sweet for me to be a bitch to him like I’ve been to all the other angels I’ve encountered. So I put up with his annoyingly sunny presence and his random acts of kindness and him stopping me from feeding on humans because ‘they haven’t done anything wrong!’ After him starving me for months, I got fed up and made a deal with him. I would scare the shit out of people to feed on them, and he would erase their memories so they wouldn’t be scarred for life. We became a… partnership of sorts, making me the most well-fed demon and him the highest achieving angel. To celebrate our successes, I took him to a new trendy bar last night and we got super drunk on fruity cocktails. And here we are now, with my cute red dress on the floor next to his black jeans.

‘Yes. I did. Because it was on top of me, suffocating me, and now I have a mouthful of your dumb feathers. Why are they even out? Put them away please?’ I ask harshly, injecting more annoyance into my voice than I feel, and Felix sighs, rolling his shoulders without moving from his position of being sprawled out on his front in my bed, and his wings slowly shrink, diminishing into his strong back, the only trace of them the two small bumps between his shoulder blades.

‘Don’t call my feathers dumb. I put a lot of effort into looking after them,’ he mumbles, voice still muffled in his pillow, and I roll my eyes, letting myself fall back against the bed. ‘Wouldn’t be able to tell. Coarse and ratty, they are,’ I tease half-heartedly, both of us knowing his feathers are softer than silk. ‘Like your hair,’ he replies in his wickedly deep voice, his amusement obvious in his tone, and I let out an outraged noise.

‘My hair is beautifully healthy, thank you. You should know – had your hands in it for hours last night,’ I pout, annoyed, as I pull the covers up around me, shivering. The room is absolutely freezing, due to the cold weather and the fact that I’m only in Felix’s thin white shirt and a pair of pants, so I can’t help but inch closer to him, his body radiating warmth. He doesn’t reply, but I don’t have any objections. I like my lazy morning lie-ins and it’d be nice to get a couple more hours of sleep.

‘Oh, shit,’ he says a few minutes later, sounding wide awake now, just as I’m beginning to drop off back to sleep, and I let out a loud huff of annoyance. ‘What?’ ‘I slept with you,’ he says as though he’s just found it out, lifting his head up from the pillow and looking at me with wide eyes. ‘Did you forget? I thought it was pretty memorable,’ I say offhandedly, amused. ‘It was. But I… I slept with you,’ he says, turning over and staring up at the ceiling, blinking in disbelief. ‘Right. I’m confused,’ I say, wondering if he’s lost his mind or something. My pussy’s good, but not that good. Or maybe it is? God knows. Actually, let’s hope God doesn’t know. She’ll probably kill Felix. Oh, right. I get why he’s freaking out now.

‘Oh, no. Angel boy’s having a mental breakdown because he fucked a demon, and God’s not gonna be happy,’ I tease in a light voice, holding back my laughter, and Felix sits up in bed, looking distraught. ‘She’s gonna kill me. She will actually kill me,’ he says quietly before dropping his head into his hands with a dramatic fake sob. ‘Oh, calm down. She doesn’t even need to know,’ I say, immensely amused, and Felix turns to me with distraught eyes. ‘She’ll know!’ ‘How? Unless one of us tells her, she won’t know,’ I say pointedly, telling him to keep his mouth shut but in nicer words.

‘But… she’s God. Won’t she just know?’ he asks, eyes wide like an innocent little kid, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘You’re not the first angel I’ve fucked, Lix.’ ‘I’m not?’ he asks, sounding sceptical, and I shoot him a dirty look. ‘Don’t sound so disbelieving. But, anyway, she’s never found out about those before. As long as you don’t blab, it’ll be fine,’ I say, and he nods, looking like he’s on the verge of tears.

‘Lix, relax. Stop panicking. You’re ruining the morning-after mood,’ I say softly after a minute of him just staring at the wall unseeingly. I slide my arms around his waist, pulling him down to lie beside me, and I curl into him instantly, revelling in the warmth of his bare skin. His arm comes around me, holding me against him, and I can sense him relaxing a little. I lay a hand on his chest, over the red lipstick marks that stain his skin, drawing patterns with my fingers, and after a few minutes, he puts his hand over mine, making me look up at him.

He takes me by surprise when he leans down and presses his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. My eyes flutter shut after the initial surprise, and I melt into him, hand sliding up from his chest to around the back of his neck, the short soft hairs at the nape of his neck tickling the pads of my fingers. His velvety lips are firm against mine, our mouths moving in sync, and I let out little breaths and whines against his mouth as his hands leisurely travel over my body, giving me butterflies in my stomach when his tongue slides into my mouth.

We break apart after a few minutes, the kiss leaving me breathless, and his lips quirk up in an amused grin. He might be the most angelic… angel in Heaven, but he touched me, kissed me, fucked me like a demon. ‘You’re cute,’ he murmurs, briefly pressing his lips to my forehead, and I try to ignore the little thrill in my chest, pouting at him instead. ‘I’m an evil demon that feeds on human fear. I’m not cute,’ I mumble, and he lets out a gentle chuckle. ‘You are. You’re a cute evil demon that feeds on human fear,’ he replies with a grin, and I roll my eyes. ‘Shut it, angel boy, you’re the cute one here.’ ‘Here I was thinking you found me sexy.’ ‘In your dreams, Lix,’ I murmur amusedly, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘Not what you were saying last night.’ ‘…Shut up.’

He laughs at me, pulling me closer to him, and I feel warm and secure in his arms. His angel aura is definitely shining through – it feels like nothing could harm me if he’s here. We cuddle in a comfortable silence, his fingers running through my hair soothingly, and my eyes flutter shut after a little while, slumber beginning to take me. ‘What happens now?’ he murmurs, bringing me back from my snooze, and I resist the urge to put my fist through his chest.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask, suppressing a yawn, and he sighs gently as I move off him, lying beside him so I can look him in the eyes. ‘Where do we… go from here?’ he asks, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Um… you go back to Heaven and I go back to Hell,’ I reply, knowing that that’s not the kind of answer he’s looking for, and he rolls his eyes. ‘You know I don’t mean location. I mean… with us,’ he says tentatively, and I don’t react for a moment. ‘Are you asking me what we are?’ I ask, a little stunned, and he nods, looking like he wished he never asked.

‘We’re an angel and demon that have teamed up for our own interests, and we got drunk and slept together, which won’t affect our business partnership. Right?’ I say slowly, and I feel guilt twist in my heart when the hope disappears from his pretty brown eyes. ‘Right. Yeah. I just thought…’ he trails off, turning onto his back and not looking at me. ‘Thought what?’ I ask carefully, and he’s silent for a moment before sighing. ‘I thought that maybe it was something more. I mean… we’ve been spending a lot of time together, and I guess I have a bit of a… crush on you?’ he stammers, ending his sentence as a question as though he’s not quite sure.

He’s still not looking at me, and the words hit me like a ton of bricks. Felix, God’s favourite angel, has a crush on me, Lucifer’s favourite girl and a princess of the 9th circle of Hell? I’m not quite sure how to react to the words, just blinking in surprise for a moment. ‘You have a crush on me? Are you sure?’ I ask, and he lets out a little laugh, eyes still on the ceiling. ‘Yep, pretty sure. I’ve had a few months to think about it,’ he says offhandedly, and my mouth falls open. ‘You’ve had a crush on me the whole time?’ I demand, and he finally looks at me, nodding sheepishly.

‘Why didn’t you say anything, stupid?’ I exclaim, hitting his chest gently, and he lets out a light chuckle. ‘I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.’ ‘What friendship?’ I ask jokingly, and he looks at me deadpan. ‘Sorry. But seriously, are we, like, high schoolers? No. We’re centuries old supernatural beings. If you had a crush on me, you should’ve just told me, and taken me on a date. What is wrong with you?’ I demand, and he blinks at me several times. ‘Did you just say I should’ve taken you on a date?’ he asks, stunned, and I let out an annoyed noise. ‘Yes, keep up.’

‘But… you’re a demon, and I’m an angel.’ ‘Forbidden romances are better than normal ones. Like Cleopatra and Mark, Tristan and Isolde, Pyramus and Thisbe, Romeo and Juli-’ ‘Every one of those couples had a tragic end,’ Felix says dryly, an amused smile on his face, and I roll my eyes. ‘They were mortal, and were forbidden by their parents. It’s different.’ ‘Oh, yeah, we have God and Lucifer to deal with instead,’ he says sarcastically, making me raise an eyebrow. ‘Lucifer won’t care. It’s God that’s the issue. An easily solvable issue,’ I grin, and his face falls.

‘Are you plotting against God?’ he demands, looking completely outraged. ‘Don’t look so shocked, it’s not blasphemy for me. I’m a demon, stupid. But, no, I’m not plotting against her. I’m just gonna… talk to her,’ I say mildly, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘You’re gonna… talk to God? To get her to let us date?’ he asks, sounding disbelieving, and I nod simply. ‘She’ll kill you,’ he replies, eyes sparkling with mirth, and I just grin. ‘I think you’ll find I can be quite… persuasive,’ I reply, dragging my fingertips across his chest gently, the feeling of my long red nails lightly scraping his skin making his amusement disappear, a shaky breath leaving his lips. He blinks a few times, knocking himself out of his little trance. ‘I’m not sure trying to seduce her will work,’ he says lightly, and I smirk at him. ‘Oh, I know. I’m planning something else for her. It’s you I’m trying to seduce,’ I murmur, resting my thumb against my lower lip with a small smile, making my eyes all big, and I see him visibly gulp.

‘It’s working,’ he says distractedly, sliding his arms around me and pulling me on top of him, and I meet his mouth in a kiss, unable to keep the grin off my face as our lips move against each other in a way that numbs my mind. ‘Wait, wait,’ he says after a few seconds, breaking away from me. ‘Does this mean you like me too?’ he asks, looking hopeful, and I think for a moment. ‘You’ve got potential. You’re… handsome, and your personality isn’t totally annoying,’ I admit begrudgingly, heart skipping a beat at the big smile that comes across his face. ‘But,’ I add, making his smile fall a little, ‘some of the appeal is the fact that you’re a pure soul, a heavenly little angel, and I’m quite the opposite. I wanna knock your halo off, angel boy, so you better hope I don’t get bored when I’ve done so.’

He doesn’t react with the hurt I expected, a small smirk playing at his lips instead, and before I can realise that we’re moving, he’s rolled us over, his body hovering over mine. His locks fall over his eyes, casting shadows across his face, and his grin makes him look more like the demons I walk among than the angel he truly is. ‘Don’t worry about getting bored, y/n,’ he murmurs in his sinfully deep voice, one of his hands coming to rest at the base of my throat and making my skin burn hot with desire. I can’t help but mirror his grin, impressed at this very out of character behaviour. ‘Why not, Lix?’ I ask teasingly, and he just smirks, hand tightening at my neck, his sparkly eyes locking with mine. He captures my mouth in a passionate and desperate kiss, murmuring against my lips; ‘I’ll keep you entertained.’

[birdwonder]

Could I get life with the Bucci gang + Trish headcannons from after they defeated Diavolo? Like what do they do after they have freedom to do whatever they want now? Everyone lives AU of course because I miss my children 😔

|| i am a tumblr n00b who can not find a way to directly link my rules into my bio but i don’t take part 5 requests juuust yet. BUT. i have been wanting to write for part 5 so i’ll probably make an exception for you, lovely anon, and do some headcanons/fics i’m able to do in the future, until i’ve finished Golden wind ~! also - you hit my feels man.

 i made them s/o related bc i’m so used to them that i didn’t realise that the request wasn’t specified for that :,) 

Bucci Gang | Happy Ending Headcanons 

Bruno Bucciarati 

- God, he wants nothing more than to finally have some peace and quiet. Remaining in the mafia isn’t even the least of his concerns, instead he wants to know what you want. Whether you joined him on his journey to take down Diavolo or not didn’t matter as he knew that either way, the stress of him dying and you being tangled up in his mess would have been enough to cause premature grey hairs.

- Even if he does return to the mafia as a Capo, he wants a vacation, just perhaps not somewhere in Italy. With Giorno’s new status, and his own being fairly high ranking, he has the funds to take you somewhere away from any gangs and drama. His first idea would be a holiday island so the two of you can relax on the beach and feel the cool water from the pool washing away all the anxieties you once had; a couple spa day would not be out of the question.

- A change in scenery such as a cold country wouldn’t be too bad either, though he feels like the preparation for that would be a little harder as he doesn’t own many winter clothes.

- During the holiday, the two of you would spend every evening in a 5-star restaurant, dining in front of the sunset with joy in your hearts. On your final night of your stay, Bruno seems to be the happiest he’s ever been the whole trip and you can only assume that the effects of taking a break had finally worked on him. “It’s so nice to see you smiling, amore,” you tell him, resting your hand over his own on the clothed table.

- “It’s all thanks to you, [F/N],” Bruno softly explains, standing up while taking your hand into his own, glancing at the slowly falling sun. “I feel like I’ve been through Hell and back, and yet every moment with you so far has been Heaven.” Your heart melts at his words, eyes softening when he turns to look at you. “I’ve risked everything ever since my father died, and it’s made me realise how short life can truly be…”

- You can only gasp when he lowers himself to a single knee, one hand intertwined with your’s and another holding a small, velvet box with a ring fit for you. “I want to cherish every day, hour and second with you, amore. Will you marry me?”

- Whether you say yes or no, he respects your decision and makes it his goal to enjoy ever last day with you in a beautiful house. He still works alongside Giorno and his gang, but never once steps into a fight or situation without you and both of your safeties in mind.

Leone Abbachio

- He needs a drink, and bad. Yet, you stop him and instead force him into your arms on a couch and hold him until you’re crying tears of joy that it’s all over and even he’s close to shedding one or two; his face buried into the top of your head and muttering that he’s so grateful he hasn’t lost you.

- From there, his need to live for something or someone changes. His goal is no longer to be on hand and knee for an authority, but to be with you.

- His loyalty to Bucciarati remains, especially when they had been through so much together, yet much like his friend, he takes things easier. Leone’s mood is not as bitter as it once was and he softens every time he comes home from work to see you waiting for him or you return from your own occupation - both of you ready for some serious intimacy.

- If you’re apart of the mafia, he might pressure you to leave and live easy with his support, but he knows that you’d have to be pretty hard-headed to join the Passione, so leaving won’t be easy.

- After a year or so since the Diavolo incident he’d really want to settle down. Officially, the two of you would be living together by now but the house is just too quiet, which says a lot for such a silent, kept to himself man. During dinner one day, his cheeks are flushed red and he can’t even bring himself to eat or look at you. Worried that you’ve done something wrong, you ask what was causing this mood and the response of “I want children,” makes your fork drop to the floor.

- It’s entirely up to you if you both have children but if you do want to start a family, he’ll be overjoyed. He wants to commit to you and a rugrat or more. After all the shit he’s been through, having the ideal happy family dream is everything he could want. Also, he’d be an incredible father and husband. Nothing comes before his family, not even a mission. 

Pannacotta Fugo

- oh shit oh fuck he’s lost. what does he do?

- There’s a good chance he hasn’t announced his love for you yet, so that’s probably the first thing on his to-do list. He knows he shouldn’t wait for life to take it’s course anymore and that he knows to be with you. Sooo, with pure fear, he pulls you aside and yells out that he loves you and starts to ramble that it’s ok if you don’t feel the same. You shut him up with a kiss and tell him you feel the same.

- After that, he has no real plans. It’s ironic seeing as he’s a strategist who has everything planned out, but he doesn’t have much in mind. Would he stay in Passione? Maybe, maybe not. Fugo has realised that he’s missed so many opportunities when it comes to his education and that he could be using his high IQ for something good, yet he knows no where could handle his anger issues quite like Bucciarati and the others could; aside from you.

- He’s young still, so marriage and a settled life style is too early however he still wants to be with you a lot more. As awkward as they may be at first, Fugo takes you on many dates and makes sure they all end with him shyly telling you that he loves you.

- If he keeps up working with the Passione, he continues to mentor Narancia for sure. Still just as aggressively if the poor boy gets anything wrong.

- Might try to practice using Purple Haze in a way that doesn’t affect the others around him. After all, if he can’t develop himself academically in a educational field, then he wants to grow in other ways. His anger issues and reluctance to use his stand? He wants them gone, or at least manageable to a satisfactory level. Fugo knows it won’t happen quickly or maybe at all, though that doesn’t stop his efforts.

Narancia Ghirga

- He’s going to go to school, baby !!

- And you’re coming with him, whether you were already in it or not. He’s going to become smarter and at least try to experience a portion of a normal growing up experience with your’s and Fugo’s support. Both you and the strawberry man will be begged for tutoring, to which there’s no hesitation for agreeing.

- Narancia is so happy that the whole mess is over and takes you into his arms, kissing you at least hundreds of times, telling you in-between each kiss that he loves you and that he can’t wait to go back to how things were. “I (mwah) love (mwah) you (mwah) so so so (mwah) much! We’re going to (mwah) kick back and relax (mwah) and watch all our favourite movies and (mwah) eat all our favourite foods!” “Narancia, stOoOoP!”

- You don’t have a choice in the matter when it comes to sticking by him. You both are going to live free and happy, with no cares aside from homework and upcoming tests. 

- He’ll probably stay in Passione but makes time for school. It’d be a waste to not use Lil’ Bomber/Aerosmith and he wants to stay close to his gang until forever.

- Celebratory torture dance anyone?

Guido Mista 

- Both he and his sex pistols are all over you once they realise that you’re all free from the gruelling mission. His hands are under your arms and he picks you up, swinging you around with so much cheer that hearing anything but his joyous yells of, “we did it!” is impossible. At the same time, his sex pistols are crawling up your arms and towards your face, hugging your neck and face with their own mini cheers of victory. Eventually, they each place an individual kiss on your cheek while Mista plants his own right onto your lips.

- He sticks with the Passione as Giorno’s right hand man, living in the joy of being a top dog and working alongside his friends. With all that they sacrificed, he’s enjoying everything that he does.

- Much like Fugo, he feels as though he’s still too young to marry or start a family immediately. Instead, he helps set you up with your own job and visits you every lunch break to spend time together. If you’re in the mafia, he begs Giorno to let you work alongside him, which was probably the new Don’s plan from the get-go, otherwise he visits wherever you work whenever he can. If he doesn’t have the time, he’ll text you with a cute image of him at work to which you reply with your own.

- Oh, even without starting the family, Mista’s mini stands definitely act like you’re their mother. Everytime they see you it’s constant cries for food and attention, and sometimes they can only be calmed down by your affection, not even Mista can make them work well without them at least seeing you recently. Suppose that’s all apart of a stand being the true nature of a person. 

- Mista likes to spend his new raise in pay on himself and you. More rented movies, more lavish items, tons of gifts and bouquets that you insist you don’t need! 

- You guys would probably move in together just because he likes coming home to you and telling you about his day, or seeing your smile after doing nothing but stand around next to Giorno. He’ll lie at first and say it’s for the sake of controlling his sex pistols because they can’t get enough of you. 

Giorno Giovanna 

- Aw yeah, who’s head bitch now? This guy.

- He works day and night to make sure his dream becomes a true reality, not letting the opportunity that his gang members and you have given him by risking your lives by even associating with him. 

- Giorno’s head is in the game and he hits the floor running as soon as he’s the new boss, not wasting any time in claiming land and setting people straight with his new rules. 

- This leaves you a little down in the dumps. After all that, and he still wants to work… It’s only right that you grab him by the face and tell him that he deserves at least some sort of a break, preferably with you.

- Realising that he really does, and so do you, he complies by having at least a week of resting, eating fine food and doing whatever you want as money was no longer an object to him.

- Mafia or not, you’re his right hand aside from Mista and the others. He’s had a bad day or really doesn’t know what to do with all the work he has? You swoop in and relax him, telling him that it’ll be ok and suggesting ways that he could deal with things. 

- Mista jokes by saying you’re like his secretary like in those cheesy romantic movies and you come in the next day in a formal, assistant like outfit and Giorno’s heart stops. All and every ‘appointment’ for that day is cancelled.

- “I’m so proud of you Giorno, you got what you wanted.” You tell him, brushing a hand through his hair. “The love of my life and a fulfilled dream? Definitely, amore.” 

Trish Una

- She’ll probably want to stick by the you and the Bucci Gang since you all supported her so much. Plus, she wants to improve on using her stand, especially if it’s for good.

- The two of you are glad to be together and spoil yourselves rotten with a shopping trip and a long spa day or two. You spend a lot of hours hugging and comforting her as she definitely breaks down in tears after all she’s been through has caught up. Even if she tries in front of the others, she can’t hide the stress that’s been hitting a rubbery wall and waiting to break through.

- If you cry too, she’ll laugh and say “look at us. Aren’t we just the perfect mess?”

- She isn’t really sure about how or where she wants to live though she wants to see you a lot, maybe not 24/7 just yet but at least close to where you live. If you do end up living together, she’ll enjoy it all the same but will make sure she works hard or longer outside of the home so coming back to see you is a breath of fresh air. 

- Trish would want to have a committed, set life after all the bumps she’s had before. She knows who she is now, so from here on she’s going to be finding new parts of herself. From finding new hobbies and interests to doing some exploring across Italy and maybe the world, she really wants to come to terms with herself. 

[springday-aus]

Enemies to Lovers!AU with Doyoung

moodboard link 

Group: NCT 

Member: Kim Doyoung 

Genre: fluff, romance 

Type: Bulletpoint AU 

Word Count: 1.8k

okay so Doyoung is the mom friend of the lil high school!Dreamies

he’s got these mama bear instincts whenever he’s around them 

all he wants to do is protect them because the world is awful 

except for Donghyuk 

Doyoung thinks Donghyuk can protect himself 

I’m kidding……. not really though 

anyways 

he’s always making sure they’re always hydrated and eating all their meals 

if they weren’t, he would make sure they got their reusable bottles filled or treat them out 

sometimes he’ll just make large ass portions of food and give them some 

Chenle and Jisung literally exploit this down to the core 

Doyoung did catch on…... and nagged them……… 

……… only to keep feeding them later on lol

speaking of nagging 

jeSUS 

Jaemin: “my ears are getting closer to bleeding because of Doyoung” 

Jeno: “he lectures me more than my actual mom”

Jaemin: “………….that sounds about right”

and like the dreamies…. they make these jokes all the time, but like…. 

at the end of the day….. everyone knows that it’s Doyoung’s way of showing that he cares 

so, where do you fit in? 

well, with the mom friend, there’s the dad friend 

that’s you 

you’re the whole package, from the dad jokes to the barbeque skills 

you care for the dreamies just as much as Doyoung 

like giving them relationship advice or spending some free time with them so they get to relax from school and life stuff 

since you aren’t with them as much, you even give them some money from time to time if they need it 

it’s like a cute little family 

but….. there’s a catch………. 

despite being the mom friend and the dad friend……. y’all do NOT get along 

it’s almost like y’all got a bad divorce 

Renjun: “I feel like I’m being asked which of my parents I like better”

Jisung: “how are we even supposed to respond to that?” 

Renjun: “I suddenly don’t speak Korean”

Jaemin: “tHAT’S NOT FAIR” 

anyways

one time y’all got dinner together as a whole group and…. 

yIKES 

let’s just say there was an argument…… 

in front of the kiddos……. and the restuarant….... 

and it was NA S TY 

like y’all were real close to throwing some hands 

no one dares to bring it up to this day nor does anyone try to plan another full fam outing…… 

Jeno: “we’re not involved, but we’re involved”

Chenle: “hmmmm, we love tea” 

anyways 

even though all of nct know what’s up……

(because Doyoung doesn’t ever stop to complain about you—cue side eye from literally everyone) 

it didn’t stop them from planning a whole group vacation

and I mean WHOLE group so that means... 

with you

because the dreamies begged Doyoung…….. 

when Doyoung asked you to come, you really stretched it 

You: “sorry, what was that??? you??? need??? me???”

Doyoung, with gritted teeth: do it for the kids, do it for the kids

basically, Johnny and Jaehyun have lake houses near the shore and for spring break, y’all went together 

and they thought it’d be fun to have everyone there

could you imagine a space that’d fit all of these boys like……. jesus christ 

anywho—lakehouse, plus ot…. (god knows how many members there are now) 

let’s just say like 20 of them 

so, when you and Doyoung first arrive, y’all just kind of ignored each other…. 

because like no one wants to get between y’all 

but like, as time went by, the small things started to build-up 

like Doyoung’s side comment on your outfit….. 

and your comment on his food…….

oof 

Lucas: “how much did I miss???” 

Taeyong: “you have no clue dude” 

so everyone just let it happen 

however…. some of the dreamies thought of this as an opportunity 

by dreamies, you know I mean Donghyuk, Chenle, and Jisung…. 

basically, the troublemaker line 

so, you all planned to go kayaking on the lake right 

obviously, Doyoung planned it because the dreamies wanted to try it  and they were like

“LET’S INVITE DAD” 

Doyoung: “............................. I guess” 

so y’all head out and it’s fun 

like y’all have actual fun as a group 

even though you and Doyoung are in the same kayak…… lowkey ignoring each others presence 

……….. until Donghyuk decides to come out of nowhere…… 

and fucking takes your ores 

and with pleasure—he’s literally laughing when he sees your faces 

Jisung: “WORK OUT YOUR PROBLEMS YOU ARE ADULTS” 

Chenle: “DON’T BOTHER CALLING UNTIL YOU TWO ARE MARRIED AGAIN” 

**cue them quickly trying to row away in order to avoid you and Doyoung’s wrath**

so what happens? 

almost nothing for like 30 minutes 

but then Doyoung speaks up 

Doyoung: “we can just pretend we like each other until we get to shore” 

You: “that’s an idea that would have been nice about 20 minutes ago” 

he just loses his temper with you and explodes

Doyoung: “literally, why are you so rude to me?” 

can you believe the fucking audacity??? 

Doyoung’s literally been so rude to you since like week one and you could not figure out why

he’s always giving you nasty looks and it rubs you the wrong way 

meanwhile, Doyoung can’t understand what your deal is with him 

like you’ve been shutting him out since y’all met 

both of you understand that y’all are only rude to each other……. because the other person’s rude……. 

right???? 

You: “I should be asking that—why are YOU so rude to ME??” 

Doyoung: “what are you talking about? you clearly started this whole fiasco” 

You: “eXCUSE ME??? you literally look down on me all the time and I don’t understand why—did I do something to offend you?”

Doyoung: “....... I just thought…….. you…. had a problem…. with me……”

You: “.... I thought you had a problem with me…..” 

…... well…. things have officially become awkward 

so nct did find out what the lil troublemaker line was up to and came to get y’all 

but like….. it was weird…. 

because y’all looked embarrassed as hell about the whole situation 

later that night, after everyone went to sleep 

you were out on the shore, looking at the beach with a lil fire you made and a glass of beer 

Doyoung comes out as well and he spots you 

so he heads over to you with a glass of wine in hand and sits next to you 

not super close to you, but close enough for you to notice 

Doyoung: “you might want to head in, you could catch a cold” 

You: “if that’s the case, why are you out here?”

Doyoung: “..... valid point” 

y’all just kind of sit there in silence, looking out at the waves…. it’s nice 

it’s kind of the first official time y’all are not fighting 

even in the dark, you can see he’s got handsome features

with the anger subsided…… you can see he’s got a good face 

it’s okay though, he’s just noticing how cute you are too

eventually, he speaks up: “I’m sorry for the way I treated you before... I just thought you were rude to me so” 

you didn’t think he’d say anything about the whole misunderstanding

You: “don’t be, it was my fault too for assuming, I’m sorry too” 

tsk, tsk, common miscommunication 

anyways, after that moment, you two were slowly making up for the bad times on the rest of the trip 

y’all are kind of in your own little bubble, 

whereas, everyone’s just confused 

Jaemin: “are we in an alternate universe?” 

Jeno: “maybe bc one of their plans actually worked” 

Chenle: “this is why you should listen to us more” 

Jisung: “we come up with the best plans” 

Renjun: “no” 

meanwhile

Mark: “I’m confused, do they like…. not hate each other?” 

Donghyuk: “Mark, can you please keep up with the program?” 

this even continues when y’all get back

the dreamies like to call this “the process of re-marrying” 

because lowkey y’all end up lowkey dating 

eventually, y’all do go out without the dreamies and it’s….. nice bc it’s kind of an official date 

first, it was all casual like lunch 

or brunch bc there was a coupon date deal and Doyoung wanted to use it 

then y’all moved to dinner…. and then movies….. and other dates like when the fair came to town, shopping dates, or browsing through IKEA 

you swore that you needed to get a new desk chair and y’all literally left with nothing LMAO

okay but like the dreamies rights? 

they def followed y’all on some of the dates 

the whole hoodies, fake mustaches, holding up the menus shit 

Doyoung: “should we tell them we’ve seen them since the bus stop?” 

You: “nah, they’ve been following us for a while, they might as well stay to get something to eat” 

Jaemin: “WE’VE NEVER BEEN CAUGHT LOOK AT HOW SLICK WE ARE” 

Doyoung: *pays for their meals*

Donghyuk: “I can’t believe I got roped into this shit” 

anywho 

dating Doyoung feels like having a housewife 

he’s constantly making sure you’re eating six meals a day 

(because he read online that it’s better for your metabolism) 

which is without the snack breaks 

…….. which Doyoung also preps for you……… 

and the dreamies of course

he’s got like EVERYTHING in his bag because ANYTHING could happen 

also he’s gonna do that thing where he checks to make sure you got everything 

imagine him with a little satchel and you literally have everything in your clothes with deep ass pockets 

Doyoung: “where’s the medicine?? where’s the tissues???” 

You: “babe, I only need my keys and my wallet” 

anyways 

he’s always gonna give you a kiss on the cheek before you go 

there’s the full parent dynamic in the works 

and even though the dreamies are glad “the parents” have made up 

they do that thing where they scream when y’all kiss, or show just general affection in front of them 

Chenle: “JISUNG IS STILL TOO YOUNG TO SEE THIS MONSTROSITY” 

Jeno: *covering Jisung’s eyes* “you’re the role models here, what type of example are you setting for us” 

Renjun: “happy for you, but ew” 

Doyoung: “I want new kids” 

anyways lots of warm hugs from Doyoung 

like full-on hugs—he doesn’t give half-ass hugs

(unless it’s to Donghyuk……… joking) 

that also means cuddling sessions for days 

You: “I need to pee” 

Doyoung: “................ just two more minutes” 

the mom in him is like super supportive 

like I’m talking ALL the banners and the pompoms 

also cheers with your name 

god he’s so embarrassing but you love him 

bro I’ll bet good money that he gonna start nagging you too 

but you know he means well 

cause even though he’s telling you to stop playing in the rain with the dreamies, nagging you about your procrastination on your work, or complaining about the messes you make 

you best believe that he’s gonna make you soup when you get sick, help you with your work, and help you clean up 

Doyoung: *telling you about how you need to dry your hair immediately after to prevent colds and headaches from occurring* 

also as he’s nagging, he’s got a towel and a hairdryer in his hands 

You: **heart eyes** “I love you” 

Doyoung: “you better, I’m not working this hard for you to die early” 

You: “jusT LOVE ME BACK” 

Doyoung: “so needy, I love you too idiot”

[soundofseventeen]

If We Were A Movie (Kim Mingyu)

Hi babes! So Erin and I geeked out bc we finally reached 400 followers!!! We cried a bit and really thank you guys for everything! It’s not possible without y’all! Enough rambling. -Bee

“Another win for the ever-talented Kim Mingyu.” You raised your hand for a high five which he eagerly slapped. “Stop being such a good actor or we’ll probably have to build you a separate room for all your wins.”

“It’s luck,” he shrugged modestly. “And my ridiculously good looks.”

“Who are you if not your own biggest fan? Okay, so there’s an after party going on if you wanna go or we clear the rest of the night to get you to start packing because need I remind you that you leave for this next movie in five days.” You unlocked your phone and rambled off the rest of his schedule, each time grinning wider than the last until his laughs betrayed him and you looked up at him in confusion. “What?”

“Do you ever get a day off?” He shook his head. “I think you’re more concerned about this coming month than I am.” He took out his own phone and compared it to yours. “Jeez, you’re more of an overqualified agent than my assistant. Wait, I have a physical the day after tomorrow? Since when?” He gestured you to start walking to his dressing room so he could change.

“Since you agreed to the role three months back.” You shrugged. “Maybe if you paid more attention, then you’d know.”

“But not even my agent knows-”

“Your agent’s job is to make sure you book your roles and you don’t risk it, hence your lack of scandals. I’m just here to make sure you keep yourself alive and well because your fans will probably kill me.”

“I knew I didn’t just hire you for your cute looks.” He closed the door in your face, giving him the last laugh.

You pounded on the door, laughing. “You hired me because you needed a friend!” Well from what he’s told you at least.

He opened it, sticking his head out. “And you’re a good one at that. Now please let me get dressed so I can go to this party while you enjoy your night off.”

“Hey, unblock me while you’re at it you coward!”

*

You threw the shirt along with the rest of the rejected pieces of clothing. You weren’t expecting to be invited along to all sorts of parties and social gatherings (that was more Mingyu’s scene) but because you were constantly by his side, it’d make sense for you to dress the part in case it happened. All your casual and formal clothing had been packed in different suitcases (and as low maintenance as you were, you liked messing with him because he could honestly pack like it was the end of the world...well it didn’t help that his stylist Xu Minghao tailored his wardrobe to perfection and often made it a point to show it off, subtly of course.)

You checked the time, surprised to see it was a quarter to two (and that Mingyu had refollowed on every social media account he previously blocked you on but it was otherwise fairly quiet from his end.) If you didn’t get any sleep soon, you’d be too tired for your day to yourself. You’d made plans to do something by yourself whether it be a haircut, buy new clothes, or maybe even get yourself that book you were eyeing; you just wanted some quality time with yourself and if you didn’t start that now, it’d be...awhile. You left your pile of clothes right where they were, just in case they’d be better looking in the morning. You washed the makeup and dirt away from your face as you changed into your most comfortable pyjamas (which you were too lazy to do so hours ago), hearing the kettle whistling, signaling that your water was ready for your nighttime tea. You’d managed to pour yourself a cup before you got an incoming call from Mingyu. “Hello?”

“Y/N MY LOVELY ASSISTANT,” He bellowed from his end of the receiver and you had to turn down the volume despite the fact it was on speaker because he was that loud when he had a little too much alcohol in his system. “CAN. YOU. HEAR. ME.” You turned it down as low as it could go. “OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. GUYS I LOST Y/N.”

You laughed. “Mingyu I’m right here in the kitchen, getting ready to sleep. Are you home yet?”

“YOU’RE AT MY HOME. WITHOUT ME? HOW DO YOU HAVE MY KEYS? DID I LEAVE THEM IN YOUR CAR AGAIN?”

“Go home and get some sleep please. Call me in the morning.”

“I LOVE YOU BUDDY.”

“Me too pal. Me too.”

*

You watched in irritated amusement as Mingyu and his costar hung out behind the scenes as the subplot progressed onscreen, peering over at you occasionally just to make sure you hadn’t abandoned him completely, but also making sure he could see you in case he needed you to save him, not that he needed it. You knew one of his personal rules was to not date who he worked with, but this one seemed to bend the rules a bit. So far, they’ve had dinner after hours, went shopping a couple of times and even had Mingyu blow off parts of his day that you had planned for him to get done. All in all, you were amazed at it all. He was fighting it and fighting it well but you also knew you had to give him some kind of hell for it. After all, he’s missed several meetings even if they weren’t all that important; it was just mostly scheduling fanmeets, interviews and just anything to give his upcoming movie publicity. (The fans might’ve done that enough though.) They were called back to the main screen not much later with you telling him it was the final shot of the day and you’d meet him back in your hotel room, so while they were getting ready for the big climax, you used that as an excuse to grab breakfast/lunch/dinner.

You’d been there since early in the morning, only snacking on pretzels and whatever what was put out on the table and if you didn’t get food in your system soon, you were sure you’d pass out from lack of nutrition. (As it was, you were cranky and your headache wasn’t helping.) Fast food was, unfortunately your only option, so you grudgingly ordered your meal (and another for the ever ravenous boy because he’d cause a mini scene until you relented so you spared yourself the guilt trip early.)

Getting to your suite, you set everything on the counter, kicked off your shoes and turned on the TV, getting some rest before eating. (Being an assistant was more tiring than you let on. Mingyu tried his hardest to make it easy for you, treating more like an equal rather than someone who was constantly waiting on his orders. You very rarely saw his diva side, which he used only when cast and crew were both assholes not only to him, but to you. He admired your efficiency, occasionally buying you a card saying he appreciated what you did for him, and your friendly demeanor even when you were put in the worst circumstances. It was only at home and your you time when he released the frustrations.) You hadn’t even known that you had fallen asleep until you felt someone shaking your shoulder telling you to wake up. You opened your eyes to find Mingyu looking at you with slight concern and you waved him off, standing up and stretching. “I didn’t hear you knocking.”

“I just got home and I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite and go for ice cream afterward but I can see you got dinner covered and you look too tired to...get up again.” Which was true. You fell back on the couch which had made him pause his sentence. He shook his head and instead brought the bags of burgers and fries to you, taking a spot next to you. He passed you your order (which had grown cold) and changed the channel, growing more unsatisfied with every show he skipped. He finally stopped when he saw one of his old movies, wordlessly asking you if you were okay with it and you just shrugged. He smiled to himself, turning the volume up and finally taking a bite of his burger.

It was his first lead role, having just finished a television series as a supporting character (Jeon Wonwoo’s no less), which had you questioning why he had wanted to hire you of all people. He had seen you at a cafe and over the course of watching you carefully organizing your notes, taking various phone calls (because in this day, everyone preferred standard texting and email), and overall meticulously and painstakingly writing out your agenda for the week, right down to being able to pencil in a nap, he introduced himself to you. Of course you were starstruck and even a little afraid; of course you had a crush on him because of course you religiously had watched his show and were -unsurprisingly- counting down the day until you had a moment to watch his debut as a lead, not a side character. You first thought it was all a joke, some prank that was waiting to happen because of a date you had rejected a few days prior. Even when he reassured you that the offer was legit, you were skeptical because you were a student, not someone who had experience scheduling people’s life into your notebooks and keeping them busy.

He convinced you though, and as he got bigger, so did your paycheck, enabling you to pay off your debts and continuing your schooling online. He was happy with your choice because it meant he could spend time with someone around his age, and not lose his roots of being a young adult, trying to get parts of his life together. He didn’t tell you this sober but one night that he had too much to drink, he called you, emotions and alcohol impairing his speech but being able to thank you for being in his life and that the real reason he hired you was because he wanted someone to call a friend and remain faithful and not let fame get to his head. Thinking about that now, made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, despite shivering from your cold drink sliding down your throat. “I’m glad you hired me,” you commented to no one in particular, but you know he needed to hear it sometimes.

“Even though I scared the shit out of you?”

You mulled it over just a bit. He only reason he had come off as intimidating as he did was because of his height. He towered over you and you were initially afraid that if you rejected his offer, he would do something, so you fearfully agreed. Needless to say, he was as scary as a housefly. “Even then.”

He smiled in your direction. “Me too.” And just like that, his own eyes closed, the long day washing over him as he fell asleep, the burger half eaten on his lap.

*

The movie, needless to say, was a complete success, breaking his previous record and going straight to #1 at the box office on opening weekend alone. It helped with all the time he spent with his costar outside of the filming sets and with whatever you were able to book whether it had been planned from the get go or some strings his agent had helped pull as well as charity events.

Kim Mingyu had a certain boyish charm to him that had eyes on him constantly and the more he was seen in public, the better. His biggest asset, ironically enough was his clumsiness. Most, if not all, of his fans related to him due to clips you constantly uploaded to social media of him dropping things, falling from his bed, him forgetting about that last step at the top of the stairs which because you were busy recording, often had him tripping over it and taking you down with him.

Any dating rumors were squashed as quickly as they surfaced, which intrigued his fans as well as his costar’s and many quickly integrated, shipping them and discussing conspiracy theories that proved they were secretly together.

It was a funny thing seeing them fighting amongst the fans that were convinced it was you dating Mingyu. I mean, with all the time you spent together and all the times you’ve blocked each other and going live about it, it did seem rather likely. You yourself almost believed it, but you knew better and how well he maintained his professionalism with everyone. In all the time you’ve worked for him, he’s been in one steady relationship with someone when he went back to his hometown after his big break and was outed. It was apparently quite the scandal. Your quick thinking gave him time off and how to address the situation when the time came but that you knew of there was someone else a little before you were hired.

It seemed he brought back the zombie trend with his latest blockbuster because in the weeks that followed, you saw a lot of makeup tutorials that resembled the undead and official merch were popping up everywhere. You showed them all to Mingyu who never ceased to be awestruck and sometimes even dumbfounded because he was just doing his job: being someone else while maintaining his own personality.

His latest success meant a lot more interviews which was fine with you both until you had to leave him for a week because of a termite infestation that occurred in your apartment complex and while the bad news was that it was condemned, you were able to throw your belongings in a storage unit and you decided to deal with that after Mingyu took time off. During that time, you had a realization of just how much time you spent together. It was strange looking a few feet away from you and not seeing the six foot human within eyesight and sometimes you could swear that you heard his voice somewhere. You missed him terribly, you’d admit that much. It was one thing when y’all had vacation time and purposely silenced your work phone but it was another thing to constantly be checking on his replacement to make sure he was on schedule and you followed up with Mingyu himself because he knew how you could be. His favorite phrase seemed to be, “There was a little hitch...kidding!”, followed by his predictable events before ending with a subtle whine of when you were coming back which had him counting down the days, even though yougave him a wrong estimate.

The day you were due to come back, you were running late, leaving you frustrated because you had planned to surprise him over breakfast, but because life and delays, you didn’t get to him until late afternoon. According to the day’s schedule, he was at a fan meet, so you hightailed it to the venue and arrived, skid marks all but visible as you flew in. His replacement assistant looked relieved seeing you back, adjusting the headphone/microphone set that allowed you to hear what Mingyu and his fans were discussing in record time. You caught a lot of questions of why he looked so bummed and if everything was okay, and you could imagine him smiling as he assured everyone he was fine. He was not fine; he didn’t have you, according to everyone.

So you went up onstage to where he was at, putting a finger to your lips to hint at everyone waiting for him to remain silent. Because he was the star, he was at the very end, so it was quite a trek in your opinion at least, turning off your headset so the feedback wouldn’t give you away. You were behind him as a preteen fan finally reached him, trying to hold in her giddiness at seeing you two together. You waved her and her grin widened. “H-hi.” She held out a picture of him for him to sign. “C-Can I ask you a question?”

Mingyu nodded, the already preparing himself for his own generic answer as he autographed the photo. “Fire away.”

“Would you consider yourself brave like your character?” She eyed you when you put your hand over your mouth to hide your snort. Mingyu was about as brave as Winnie the Pooh going after heffalumps. It was you who often had to kill the spider to stop him from burning the place down. (No, you actually stopped by his place once to see him dousing his kitchen table with gasoline.) He’s even said he was staying with you once the apocalypse happened. (He was convinced it was inevitable.)

It still surprised you when he shook his head. “My character can do things I can only dream of like leading people and saving them and telling them what they need to hear. I can’t even say something without being afraid of what someone is gonna tell me…”

“Can I ask you something else?” She whispered this so low you almost missed it had Mingyu not nodded.

“If you could say something without fear...without consequence, what would it be?”

Smart kid, you figured, in both the question and the way she said it. It was a question that had you pondering.

Mingyu also seemed caught offguard by it, racking his brain to see how he could answer. Finally he spoke. “I guess I’d tell someone I’m close to how much I love them.”

“What’s stopping you Oppa?”

“A lot of things, I guess.” Her eyes widened and when they flickered to you, you shook your head, and used it as the opportunity to announce your presence by grabbing his shoulders and making him jump. You were really curious about who he was talking about, but that wasn’t your business.

“Yah, you punk,” he scolded you, “you were supposed to be here two days ago.” He broke out into his signature grin. “I missed you.”

“And they're here to see you,” you gestured towards his steadily growing line that had their phones out, recording the little interaction. You backed away slowly as he returned to his adoring fans, hearing everything they said, smiling at some of the comments and laughing when you heard something particularly funny (mostly when they mentioned him looking cheery because of a certain someone cough cough you.) Once the event was over, he rushed over to engulf you in a well deserved hug because in Mingyu time, a week was the equivalent of two years. You wrinkled your nose. “You’re gross and sweaty. Go shower and change your clothes. I’m gonna help everyone pick up.”

“But I wanna take you out to dinner. I haven’t seen you in a week. My shower can wait. ”

“I’m not going near you until you’re clean,” you pointed out. You folded a few chairs and took them to their place. “Why are you still here? Go.”

*

You felt like you could use the shower, but at least you felt useful. The crew thanked you tenfold and bid you a great evening as they retired for the day. You were happy to report to Mingyu (once he got out that is) that this was his last thing for awhile so he could finally go on that vacation he was planning, which sucked on your part because you just got back and you were already gonna separate again. And not to mention the house hunt you were about to go on. You walked back to where the dressing rooms were, hoping to rush the actor.

He was already waiting by one of the front doors, leaning against it. You walked up to him and he surprised you by meeting you halfway, saying nothing. He ran a hand through his damp hair, studying you, a very un-Mingyu like thing to do.

“Hey,” you greeted him shyly. “You ready to get going?”

He walked up to you slowly, a rather bashful smile appearing on his face, giving him the look a child who’s about to ask if he could have ice cream before bed, and expecting a no in return. “I...just have to do something first.” He bit the inside of his lip, exhaling slowly, gaining courage before taking your face in his hands and kissing you hesitantly, slowly, carefully, but reluctantly pulling away to assess your reaction, foreheads touching. You remembered what he had said to the young fan earlier, blanking out on what to tell him. The only logical reaction was to stare at him puzzled, and he chuckled, despite it not going how he quite imagined it, his voice sounding deep and labored. “I talked to a fan earlier, before you got there, and she asked me if I could do something and not be scared and she asked why I hadn’t done it yet…”

“Me?” You cut him off.

“You heard?”

“I caught a few of your conversations but I thought you’d had enough of everyone asking why you were sad. I didn’t think…” You exhaled. “Why me?”

“Why not you? Everything you do for me...to pushing me so I’m on top of it, to assure me I’m doing all I can, to just making sure I’m not overworking myself, and-and even with how much time we spend together...how can I not pick you?”

“It’s my job. I’m supposed to do all of that.”

“Y/N, not even my agent knows what I’m supposed to do until she has orders from you that it’s been okayed from physicians to trainers to nutritionists. I...I don’t know anyone else that would go that far. I’m pretty sure you even know when I’m about to get sick because sometimes I get a hint of something medicinal in my drinks.”

It was hard to look away from him, especially when his gaze was unwavering and he was as close to you as he was. You cared about him and his wellbeing; it was obvious enough when you let him get an extra hour or two of sleep instead of rushing him out the door to get from point A to point B, and when you cut off his sugar supply when he’s had enough; you even squeezed time in with his old friends because he worked hard, sometimes too hard. You tenderly brushed his hair from his face. “Me?” you repeated incredulously.

He nodded, looking as sure as he felt. “You.” He finally allowed himself to smile. “I just...I really love you.”

Your heart pounded at his confession. He had thousands, if not, millions of admirers worldwide, a dream to everyone who had known or met him, and his own heart...was yours. You hadn’t expected your eyes to shut to keep the tears in, but they did and it was your turn to exhale. “Mingyu.” You paused. “This isn’t just something because I just came back, isn’t it?”

“I missed you the whole time you were gone,” he confessed. “But it was also more than that. Every time you’re not around, it’s hard for me to focus and get everything done. It’s like part of me is missing and it’s dumb because I know you’re always here, but I’m afraid that one day you’re gonna go somewhere and not come back and the only thing I’ll have to remember you by is a text saying you’re sorry.” He shook his head at the thought, his confidence deflating because you hadn’t said anything to accept or reject him.

“Kim Mingyu, I think I’d at least tell you in person because really? A text?” You smiled at your half assed attempt to make him laugh, but you poked his cheek upward. “I-I couldn’t leave you even if I wanted to. We’ve done too much together as it is...and it’d be a shame to not know what could be between us.”

He perked up at that. “I...you mean that?”

“Oh my god Mingyu! Just ask me out or I swear-” He cut you off with another kiss, this one longer and more passionate and full of happiness that radiated onto you.

[faridahmalik]

lmao i have nothing super amazing written for v-day bc

well. depression. 

it’s def not finished, but idk. teaser/this will probably never HAVE a full fic but. it’s kinda cute?

modern au fake relationship stuff with Will n Wilson sort of climax scene, aka ‘okay to get them to leave me alone would u be willing to almost marry me?’ aka I have not been to a wedding since i was like five. research was weird.

it’s just self-indulgent fluff. happy valentine’s day.

Wilson tried not to wince as the music starts, he was already steeled for the fact Will wouldn’t even show, just as they’d talked about two days ago, on the veranda of the restaurant they’d all gone to after the rehearsal.

Despite his mother's want of a full traditional ceremony, Wilson had coaxed her into a more relaxed procession, it starting with him at the altar because they didn't have a huge friend group, and Will's only family was Jack and the kids, while Wilson's family was sprawling.

It also made William vanishing easier.

He’d looked determined as they talked about the plan, and really, after all the trouble Will had gone through for him, Wilson couldn’t help but understand. Once this mess was over and done with, he wouldn’t even blame William for not wanting to even be friends anymore. It’d just kept spiraling, and selfishly, once he realized it was more than just platonic love with Will, Wilson had held on. Excuses were made, and more time was spent pretending that they were a couple.

More time both of them making stupid jokes, sarcasm at his parent's antics, living together. More nights in the same bed, talking quietly. More owed lunches, for putting up with all of this, and Will, in good humor, mentioning that at the very least he was fed well for all of this.

The rare staged kiss, which always provoked both thrill and worry.

Their fake engagement rings, which Wilson couldn't help but sigh when he had to put it away until the next visit, wishing it wasn't just a bargain bin set, a pair of cheap fakes, but instead something actually gold, with a real gemstone like amethyst, not glass, that he'd picked out for Will specifically.

Still, he'd fucked this up royally. By not actually asking Will out the first time, too scared he'd lose his best friend, but wanting more time closer than just friends with him.

One deep breath, and he was prepared to feign sorrow, thinking it was cold feet, not their plan. Apologize to his folks for wasting their time and money, though really, he could care less about their money. They’d been the ones who pushed for a traditional wedding, even if the attendance was his family, their friends, and Jack and their kids, and since they said they’d pay, he relented. Really, besides feeling sorry for himself, he was mostly sorry his siblings had to come out with their families. He’d never thought he’d be jealous of them. But there they were, with spouses they cared for and loved.

And then there was their friends, who'd insisted the moment they heard even the slightest rumor, even though they knew this was all a show. He didn't feel sorry for them, just... annoyed.

The room was silent, save for the music; it felt like everyone else was also holding their breath. Wilson couldn't help but bite the inside of his lip, trying to hold back tears that were threatening to fall, at least he could claim nerves. God, he'd made so many mistakes and Wilson just wanted it to be over. Let him go wallow in his broken heart already. He could tell Willow and Woodie were both fidgeting behind him, they were probably tired of this too.

The door opened. Maybe Charlie to say William wasn't coming, his folks had demanded at some sort of best man/woman for both of them, they wanted at least something traditional, even if their son wasn't traditional in the slightest. It'd have to be Charlie, Wes hated speaking.

The music didn't stop. There was no words indicating William was a no show.

So Wilson turned. Wendy and Abigail were first, they had demanded to be the flower girls for their uncle, fake event or not after Jack had explained it to them. His youngest sister's daughter, Wisteria, had joined them, a few years younger then the twins.

Webber, Charlie's nephew and the not official, but basically adopted younger brother of the twins with the rings, also cheap, he'd bought them. Though, with the next sight, Wilson wished he'd spent more on them.

William, with Jack next to him, with the real flowers Wilson's mother had insisted on. If he remembered the mix; poppies, lavender, and lilies. William had acted engaged in the planning, and chose his favourite flowers.

He finally met William's eyes, and there was the same look on the other's face as two nights ago. Wilson's heart pounding so hard he couldn't hear the light whispering from their friends, the right side still silent.

It was as hard to believe as someone claiming he'd finally gotten his dream job, even with the quiet "Hey," out of Will's mouth as he joined him at the altar. Wilson turned to face him, a little early, but no one stopped him.

Stars, he still might cry. William had a soft smile across his flushed face, and was fidgeting slightly, more obvious without the flowers in his hands, already passed to Charlie. His throat couldn't form words, it was like all of a sudden he couldn't find words at all. Their hands though, like they had during rehearsal, slid together, and it was comforting.

Thank the stars they'd asked his old mentor, Wickerbottom, to be officiant, as they'd be able to let her in on what was going on. She, thankfully, was always articulate, even in surprising circumstances and even as he couldn't make out many of the words, the mere sound helped.

William was here. William was still here.

There was a period of silence and Wilson realized that it was one of their turns to speak and oh hell, he couldn't remember the vows he'd only really wrote two days ago and could recite when they were fresh.

"I... I didn't expect to fall in love, you know." Was the first thing out of his mouth and boy did it sound dumb to him, and most likely weird to his folks. "This wasn't what I expected to happen when all this began, a-and honestly, I wasn't expecting to be standing here today, with you. You were... are, one of my best friends. And when I asked for your help, it was for a number of reasons, but one, one that's extraordinarily important, came to light after the fact, and I realized I couldn't let you go. You're so special to me, William. We've been friends since college, and... and, I think I should have realized it sooner. And I'm sorry for that." His face was red, that was completely off script and not at all the vows they'd written.

"Wilson..." Oh stars. That smile was going to kill him. "This... has probably been a long time coming for me. When all this started, when I was helping you, I went in with an aching heart, it was probably unrequited, but you were one of my best friends, and you've helped me so much... I wanted to help you when you needed me. Even if it ended up with my heart breaking in silence."

Oh no. Oh hell. How much had he... Wilson could feel the tears almost budding, how much had he hurt Will through this, by not saying something. Did this tear him apart earlier then it had for Wilson. Had William felt used after a point. That, alone, was terrifying. Will had been though enough of that.

"So I kept on. And I decided to keep going, no matter what laid ahead, and decided to lay my feelings bare, once and for all... even if it ended up a mistake. Because if I ran, I wouldn't know. And so I'm here, right now, with you. My best friend. Someone who makes me happy, who I trust and love with my whole heart. As long as you want me." William's voice broke on the last half of that sentence, and there were tears running down his face, and that egged on Wilson's.

Wilson released the other's hands, then pulled William to him, instead, and hugged him tighter then he'd expected he would, their positioning letting him whisper into the other's ear, along with comforting both of them. "It was breaking me to know you weren't supposed to show." He wanted this so bad, William and him in the house he'd inherited, without his folks around. To wake up and see William sleeping still, the other was a light sleeper but he slept late when he wasn't disturbed.

"I wanted to say something... even if you rejected me at the altar." Will whispered back. "I thought you would..."

"Never. Stars, William, how could I? I love you." This close, he could feel the start of what would have been a sob, before being swallowed down.

"Th-they're waiting on us, you know. Not that it exactly matters, this is about us, but I'm starting to feel a little like a show, and not your groom." There was a swallow, "Though, I'd assume they're just living for the drama, if I know your family and our friends." A little humor and Wilson chuckled, pulling back to wipe a thumb under one of Will's eyes, lifting the glasses.

There was an amused hum before Wickerbottom game an "Ahem?" to convince them to return to how they had been.

"Now that we've heard them speak... are there any other vows you two would like to say before I continue?" There was a teasing smirk on the professor's face, and both of them looked away before nodding.

"Wils-"

"Will-" They'd both opened their mouths at once and quietly laughed, Wilson squeezing Will's hands, asking to go first. "William. I vow to be with you as long as I can, and to love and support you always, and in whatever I can do, to be with you no matter how things are around us. To make amends for how foolish I was, and make you happy. To make you laugh when you are sad and when I can't, to hold you and love you still." Off the top of his head, wasn't too bad, if he said so himself.

Even with tears on his face, the vow seemed to have been received well, eyes wide, staring at him with a smile. "Wilson, I vow to be with you through whatever life throws at us, through bad jobs and broken machines and failed plays, as things don't seem so bad when I'm with you. I vow to love you, to care for you, to support you, to find solutions and working to make things better with you." Show off. "I vow to embrace being your partner, your husband, for the rest of my life."

He hadn't looked at anybody but Will since he'd stood up here, though he had a feeling the sniffling nearby was Woodie.

"We come to a close, in this ceremony, after a final question posed to both of these devoted lovers. Webber, dear, the rings?"

Oh god, he was going to replace these as soon as he could. Wilson mused on the design possibilities as the young man delivered the rings, sliding behind them.

He felt a tap, Wickerbottom handing him a ring, then William the other. "Now, if you would slide the rings onto the tip of each other's ring finger..." They both compiled, "Wilson Higgsbury, do you take William Carter as your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." That wasn't something he'd been expecting to say today, but it left him warm.

"William Carter, do you take Wilson Higgsbury to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Would you both fully slide the rings onto one another's finger?" There was a pause as Wilson did it for Will, and Will for Wilson, this felt too surreal and wonderful to actually be happening, but it was. "With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you two wed, you may now kiss your groom."

Oh hell. It was simple and innocent, they've kissed before, unexpected and few, but this took the cake. This was real. Will's lips were warm and uneven, chapped, possibly bitten slightly in nerves.

It wasn't long before they drew back, to the triumphant noise from their friends, mixed with laughter, and clapping (along with a few cheers from his sisters,) from Wilson's side.

However, it was almost too tempting to stop himself from peppering William with more kisses, for every missed moment he should of been kissing him. Though, even the mere passing thought of that was dashed as his parents approached, his mother certainly upset with that frown on her face. His father looked like he couldn't even care.

"Wilson Percival Hig-"

"Wilson Percival Carter." Wilson interrupted. "I'll be taking William's family name, thank you."

"Wilson." She huffed. "I'm not even prepared to go into that little tidbit of information but what was that absolute farce of a ceremony! You made us look like fools!"

No, Wilson considered, he made himself look like an idiot, but that was fairly normal. "I'm completely sorry for deviating from your perfect, pre-approved plan." He managed a straight face. "I wasn't exactly expecting my groom to show up."

"What?!"

"It was supposed to be a farce so you would get off my back! It was always get married to this girl, she's the daughter of one of dad's business associates, I want grandchildren out of you, all your siblings have given me grandchildren, why haven't you! Do you have a girlfriend? I could arrange a date for you! Every time we talked it was always about my lack of a love-life, which I was fine with!"

"You were willing to let us waste our money! Why you self entitled..."

William stepped between them slightly. "You were the one forcing this on us originally. Demanding when we were getting married. If you hadn't, we would of continued to fake being engaged."

"Did your friends think you were dating?" Oh boy, she was seething, Wilson had seen that look in her eyes.

Stars, he was thankful for Willow at that moment, noticing the distress on both of their faces. "We had a bet going on if they'd own up to being in love!" She stated, drawing enough attention away so both of them could half embrace, one of their arms wrapped around the other's waist. Will was shaking, even if his voice was steady, confrontation was not his strong suit. "They might not have been properly dating, but they were both so love sick, it was almost sad."

"So this was all to deceive us." She almost hissed.

"It wasn't wasted!" He shot back, holding Will close. "We tried to get you to let us have a very small ceremony, but you wanted big. But, right now that doesn't matter because your money wasn't wasted. I'm married! To someone I love! Who I greatly would like to go eat some cake with after we both change, thank you very much." He turned and pulled Will along, the other having to take a few longer strides to balance himself again. "Let's go get ready for the party..." He whispered. "We can change and head to the restaurant, I don't want to deal with her for the rest of the night."

It was odd, he wasn't exactly expecting to actually have a reception. Maybe a self-pity reception. Cake and alcohol for one. Their hands were entwined as they headed to the small rooms where both of them had been given to change, and out of habit from being away from everyone, especially his mother, Wilson almost pulled away. He stopped, swallowing as he realized he didn't have to pull away, they were both legally married and genuinely together. It wasn't an act anymore. He could hold Will's hand without much of a reason. He could kiss him whenever.

[bnha-hcs]

Bakugou x Reader - Rainy Day Kittens + Happy 1,500+ followers!

Decided to post this without the the photo bc Sho is sick and I didn’t want to rush her with the sketch because she’s drowning in commissions, so we’ll most likely finish it on a later date. Also I guess this is sort of happy 1,500 followers now that I think about it lmao. Thank you all for the continued support, I’m very lucky to have such great followers!

Words: 3,420

It was around  9pm and you were worried sick. You checked your phone for probably the fifth time this minute, hoping that a text from your boyfriend would suddenly appear on screen. Your previous texts had been ignored ever since you started texting him around seven. It was also good to mention that it was absolutely pouring outside, thunder and lightning crackling up the sky. Anxiety tugged at your mind and about a thousand thoughts were racing through your mind. Was he attacked on the way home? Was he knocked out cold and being held somewhere? Or maybe he secretly had a mistress and was cheating on you… You shook that thought out of your head. There’s no way that one was even remotely true.

You slurped up your noodles from your instant ramen cup since you had delayed dinner to the point where it was too late to make anything big. It’s a good thing Maru-chan always had your back for situations like these. Although Katsuki would would probably kill you for eating something so bad for you. You drank down the hot broth, savoring the warmth as the rain continued it’s downpour onto the the city. There’s no way he would’ve gotten himself in trouble. Well, not anything he couldn’t handle himself. You sighed, tapping your foot out to get rid of this anxious feeling in your chest.

When you heard the door to your house crack open you rushed to the over after setting down your finished cup noodles. Your boyfriend stepped into the house, kicking the door closed and letting an out an agitated sigh. You moved to stand in front of him and instantly grabbed his  face to pepper it with kisses, ignoring the fact that he was soaked to the bone. He didn’t do much to stop you since the warmth of your lips felt good on his cold wet face.

“Katsuki where have you been?? You had me worried sick I thought something bad happened…” You trailed off. After a few moments you looked at him as a whole and squinted. What was up with his jacket? It looked… lumpy and was it moving? Your gaze traveled to his face and he had the look like he was trying to hold back a stupid smile.

“What the hell is going on? You’re usually cursing up a storm and complaining about your day. What gives?” You asked pursing your lips. He glared at you.

“Just shut the fuck up and help me with this.” Katsuki grumbled.

You assumed he was talking about his lumpy and moving jacket so you cautiously went to unzip it. There was a noise and you stopped letting out a squeak. What the fuck? Is this some sort of prank? You listened for a second and heard it again. It sounded like… You went to unzip most of the rest of his jacket and your face lit up with happiness and surprise. This was too cute. As soon as light hit the little bundles of fur they started making a symphony of tiny mewls. You squealed with delight.

“Kittens! Oh but they’re covered in mud, poor little things.” You cooed.

“Don’t just fucking stand there, get them out of my jacket!” Katsuki demanded. You complied happily.

Reaching into his jacket you pulled out three of the kittens covered in mud, all the while going on about how cute they were. They squirmed in your arms and you could barely hold them. Katsuki was left with the other three. You looked at him practically radiating with happiness from this little surprise he had for you.

“Here, let’s go put them in the tub so I can wash them off. Then you can go change while I give them a tiny bath.” You smiled.

Katsuki nodded and mumbled something under his breath that you didn’t catch. He was probably just complaining about how cold he was from his soaked clothes. He followed you down the hall and to the bath and shower. You nudged the door open with your foot and used your elbow to flick on the lights. You quickly sat down to let down the squirming little fuzzballs onto the bathroom floor. They stumbled and crawled around as you scooted over to the tub to start the bath. Katsuki sat on the ground and let the other three down, going to shed his dirty and soaked jacket and his shirt that was under it until he was just left in his pants. You held your hand out in the tub waiting for the water to warm up and watched as the six kittens stumbled over to Katsuki who was busy trying to dry his soaked hair.

“Go over there to her you idiots I’ve already had enough of you.” He said with a frown plastered on his face.

It didn’t work because they kept on their path to stumble over to him on their tiny little legs. He hissed as one jumped up onto his leg and dig their claws into him. He huffed and picked up the kitten gently and put it down facing your direction, hoping it’d get the memo to leave him alone. It didn’t work obviously, and the kitten bounded back over to him, meowing loudly as if out of protest to being sent away. Katsuki gave up and soon his lap was covered in kittens. You laughed a little bit as the muddy kittens crawled all over him. He sat there looking unamused of course but he never handled them harshly even as they accidentally scratched up his thigh.

“The bath is ready for them, you can go change now.” You said grabbing a kitten from him and setting it in the two inches of water.

“If I can get these fuckers off me.” He mumbled in disdain.

“Then I’ll help you.” You chuckled.

You reached over and grabbed another one, and then a second one before you set them in the tub of warm water with the others. They meowed loudly in protest but it was for their own good. Well, and Katsuki’s. He handed you another two for you to put in the tub before he handed you the last one and stood up to head to your shared bedroom to get a fresh shirt and pants. Meanwhile you grabbed each tiny kitten and gently washed off the mud caked onto their fur. They kept trying to jump out of the tub and you had a fun time when one of them actually jumped out and and made a straight beeline for the door.

“Ah, no! Get back here!.” You called out. “Katsuki we have an escapee!”

An aggravated yell could be heard from down the hall followed by a string of curses. You also heard a tiny distant meow before you went back to trying to wash off the rest of the little turds. After each kitten was washed you didn’t even care as they jumped out of the tub and run out the door because you had a sneaking suspicion where they were heading anyways. After you cleaned the last one you caught them before they could escape and grabbed a towel to dry them off.

 As you were drying off the tiny kitten Katsuki walked in through the door looking very unamused. You covered your mouth to hide your smile when a small mob of kittens came trotting in after him. Oh how amusing this was… You let the kitten you had go and they ran to join the tiny herd. You watched as Katsuki tried to sit down by you and carefully plan each movement as to not accidentally hurt one of his tiny followers. When he had sat down the wet kittens automatically clambered on top of him and vied for his attention. You handed him a towel to help you dry them off and he begrudgingly took it before grabbing a screaming kitten. While he toweled off another kitten you grabbed another one and kept going until they were all dried off and romping around.

“I’m pretty sure they think you’re their mama.” You snickered seeing them needily try and climb over him.

“Don’t be stupid, all I did was rescue them from some shitty cardboard box.” He grumbled taking one of the kittens before holding it up to his face. “I’m not your mom.”

“I don’t think you can convince them that you’re not.” You said with a coy smile.

You reached over and took one of them, holding it and scratching under it’s chin with a finger. After setting it down it immediately went to join the others in their adventure to climb Mt. Katsuki. Meanwhile you boyfriend was trying to get them off of him so he could have some breathing room. At some point he gave up because he let him climb up and sit in his arms. You hated to break this touching moment but you didn’t really want to spend the rest of the night in the bathroom.

“I think we should take them into the kitchen and try to feed them” You said picking a kitten off of him.

“With what? We don’t have fucking cat food.” He said.

“Then I’ll go down to the convenience store down the street. It’s open 24/7.” You offered.

“I’m not letting you out in the rain at night.” He said sternly. “If anyone’s going anywhere it’s going to be me.”

“But you literally just got back and you’re going to get wet again!” You reasoned. He just brushed you off and the yelling kittens that went sliding off of him as he got up.

The kittens went running off after him and he had to be careful not to accidentally step on them while he trudged to the door. You were a little mad that he was going out instead of letting you but it was hard to stay mad watching him be so gentle with the six bundles of fur meowing at his feet. With a sigh you got up and started to herd the kittens away from Katsuki since he was yelling curses trying to scoot them away from the door. He nudge one back with the tip of his umbrella until he mumbled a goodbye and was out the door.

You noticed the kittens seemed rather lost without their appointed mother so you did your best to fill in. You ran off to find a blanket and made it into a makeshift pouch so you could place the kittens in it. Admittedly you felt some sort of weird cat burglar or some sort of stork carrying kittens around in a makeshift sack. You lugged them off and over to the couch in the living room and flicked on the tv so you could have something to do when not watching the kitties. Setting down the sack meowing kittens they nearly exploded out of the blanket and resumed their meowing as they wandered around the small space of the living room. You tried your best to keep them engaged using a ribbon from an old present bag.

Time ticked on and the kittens had gotten bored, opting to take a little rest on you or beside you. They looked like a bunch of tiny little sweet rolls curled up the way you were and you took out your phone to take a picture. You sent the pictures to your group chat with a few others before you went back you petting the resting kitties. Of course that didn’t last long. Your phone buzzed, letting out a text tone and startling a few of them. You looked at the reply to see that it was from Ochako.

“They’re so cute!! I didn’t know you guys had cats what are their names?” The text message read.

Names? That’s right… you really hadn’t thought of any names for them. Now you had something else to do while Katsuki was at the convenience store. Petting the kitten in your lap gently you pondered a few names, forgetting to text back to Ochako. You looked over to your cup of noodles and looked at the brand. You smiled and a light bulb went off in your head. This one would definitely be named Maru-chan.

Time marched on and you had settled on a few names. Maru-chan, Tama, Spaghet, President Theodore Roosevelt… You weren’t sure for the last two but it didn’t matter because the door practically slammed open alerting the kittens to a certain someone’s arrival. They hauled ass over to him and you heard a frustrated yell as you slowly got up.

“Oh for fucks sake I wasn’t gone that long. Piss off!” Katsuki yelled carefully shuffling his feet and nudging the kitties out of the way.

“See, I told you they think you’re their mama.” You snickered watch him try to walk over to you.

“Fuck off, just take this bag.” He said jutting out his arm in your direction. You took it and started going over the items in the bag.

Pulling out stuff you saw a lot of cans of wet cat food and then some cat toys. A large bag of cat food was slammed on the table next to you and you jumped making your boyfriend laugh. A few of the kittens jumped on the table and were inspecting the bag, jumping when it moved or something else moved suddenly to startle them. You puffed out your cheeks and let out a sigh a few seconds later.

“We need litter boxes, too.” You said under realization that cat do in fact, poop and pee.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Came Katsuki’s enraged response. “I’m not going back out again!”

“I’m not asking you to so calm your tits, babe.” You huffed back at him. “I think I have an old storage bin from when we moved. We can just fill it with the sand from those old sandbags in the garage.”

Katsuki grumbled something and hugged you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder. You sighed and leaned into his embrace. You’d just have to feed these little farts and get their litter box set up so the two of you could rest. He pressed a kiss to your cheek before going to grab some of the cans of food for the cats, but you swatted his hand away.

“No, I’ll feed them. You should make yourself something to eat I know you’re probably hungry.” You said reaching out and holding his hand in yours. “You need to eat too you know.”

“Fine.” He replied almost looking relieved.

You let go of his hand and watched him shuffle lazily to the fridge so he could make himself something to eat. It was well past ten so he deserved to eat something. Grabbing the small cans of cat food you went to rummage through your cupboards and get six small bowls, all stacked on top of each other. You walked a bit aways into the midway point between the kitchen and the living room before you set everything down. The kittens were still pestering Katsuki as you went back over to grab a spoon.

Opening a can of the wet cat food immediately made the kittens cast their attention over to you and they mobbed you like some sort of hungry crowd of cat zombies. You struggled to keep them away from the bowl you were scooping the food into and had to stand up and try to do it that way. If only you had some sort of forcefield quirk so you could make a little bubble for yourself. You set the already full bowl on the table and picked up another can to empty into another bowl. After a while you had gotten the bowls full but putting them down was the next challenge. You set two bowls down and they swarmed onto those.

“Oi you fat asses there’s more food over here.” You heard Katsuki say from behind you. He moved past you to grab and set down a few more bowls while you went to get the last few.

Katsuki bent down and took some of the kittens so he could deposit them by their own personal bowl of cat food. You watched him do the same for the rest and then sit there and police who was eating out of which bowl like the good cat mom he was. You laughed a bit when he stopped a kitten who already eaten all of their food from mooching off another one. Kneeling down next him you helped him on policing duty and moved to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. You could tell he appreciated the affection because he practically leaned into you touch.

“Didn’t I tell you to make yourself some food?” You asked teasingly. He half heartedly glared at you.

“I am making something, it’s simmering.” He said flatly. “Besides you were fucking it up over here.”

“How mean.” You said in mock hurt. “But if I knew having a bunch of stray kittens in this house would make you a bit softer, maybe I should’ve gotten a kitten sooner.”

“Whatever.” He said going to shoo a kitten away from the one that was still eating.

“It’s true!” You chuckled. “You’re very gentle with them, I’m surprised.”

The kittens finished their meals and while Katsuki ate his own food and dealt with them meowing at him for attention, you went to find the large plastic tub you were talking about. You rummaged around in the garage until you found it and then continued to lug a sandbag and slam it down inside. You grabbed a large knife, slicing an opened and then emptying the contents into the tub. It wasn’t the best litter box but it’d have to do for now until you could get actual stuff from a pet store.

After lugging the giant tub into the main room you yawned and flopped yourself onto the couch. One of the kittens, Maru-chan, had jumped on the couch with you and went to curl up on your chest. Not too much later Katsuki came over, kittens trailing after him as he crashed next to you. You hummed as he pulled you over to him, wrapping an arm around your waist as your head came to rest on his chest. Maru-chan had since moved and found another place somewhere else.

“You’re gonna make me fall asleep right here I swear.” You mumbled.

“I wouldn’t give a fuck even if you did.” He sighed taking his fingers and threading them in your hair. “I’ll probably pass the fuck out here anyways.”

“Then if I fall asleep and drool on you, you can’t complain.” You said stifling a yawn.

“If you drool I’m shoving you off me.” He said clearly unamused. You laughed lightly and snuggled into his chest even more.

With all six kittens around him Katsuki looked down at you, realizing you were his seventh. His fingers combed through your hair and he vaguely payed attention to the tv. You were a pain in the ass sometimes, just like the six furballs curled up at his side. But he loved you nonetheless, and nothing would change that.

“We’re not taking them to the shelter are we?” You asked sadly.

“Why the fuck would you think that?” He asked.

“Just making sure, I don’t think they’d be happy having to leave their precious mama.” You smiled.

“For the last time I’m not they’re mam- ow!” He was cut off when a kitten’s kneading got a little too much. He glared at the offending cat in question.

“Oh, did President Theodore Roosevelt get you? He had the sharpest claws.” You asked  craning your neck to look at him.

“President… what?” He asked.

“That’s his name.” You stated matter-of-factly.

“I… You’re so fucking weird.” He groaned taking his hand and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“H-Hey! Like you could name them better!” You said jabbing him in the side. “I still haven’t named two of them. Why don’t you do the honors?”

“Fine, then it’ll be King of Explosions and… Murder.” He said. You choked on your spit.

“Katsuki we can’t name him Murder! What if he gets lost we can’t just run around yelling ‘Murder!’ Someone would call the cops!” You shrieked.

“Oi, you fucking said I could name them!” He protested.

“Okay you can but…” You hid your face in your hands. “Please something, anything other than Murder.”

“Arson.”

“NO.”

[hanisaway]

oc: oz

A: Aptitude 1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young? oz has always been a good pianist, even performing in hotels at age 17 back in the day.  2. what activities have they participated in? he took piano lessons since he was 9 and utilized that skill through gigs and stuff. 3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for? he had to switch from job to job plenty of times to keep his cover, and have learned many skills in the process. at one point he even worked at an automobile shop, fixing cars and getting dirty in the process. 4. what things are they bad at? cooking. he’s been alive for a hundred years but can’t serve anything more complex than spaghetti and meatballs. oz tells himself that it’s bc recipes and ingredients are difficult to memorize, and he can’t starve to death, anyway. 5. what is their most impressive talent? his piano skills are superb.

B: Basics 1. what is their hair color? reddish orange, borderline  brown. 2. what is their eye color? hazel 3. how tall are they? around 5′9 or 5′10 4. how old are they? physically late-20′s, actually around 100 (tbh he stopped conting at 93) 5. how much do they weigh? 75kg?

C: Comfort 1. how do they sit in a chair? leaning on the back support, legs open 2. in what position do they sleep? he moves a lot when he’s asleep, especially when he’s having a nightmare. but always always always, his stomach faces the bed. 3. what is their ideal comfort day? lots of alcohol and smokes 4. what is their major comfort food? why? coffee. in the war, during the cold european nights when they had to sleep in wet foxholes dug amidst piles of snow, the army provded them tasteless sludge they called ‘coffee.’ when oz went off the line and their division received new supplies of food, the first thing he did was get the coffee. at that time, it tasted like heaven, however simple it was. 5. who is the best at comforting them when down? tbh nobody could comfort them even if they tried. amy surely as a good friend, but sometimes was unable to get to him. ricky comes close, though.

D: Decoration 1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name? first off, a wine cellar. then a grand piano. and maybe a bed. 2. how would they decorate their child’s room? oz doesn’t have baby fever. if he were to decorate a child’s room, he would have no idea what to do. 3. how do they decorate their own room? as long as it was comfortable and spacious, he would be fine with anything. the only decoration his room would have is a bottle of expensive whiskey perched on top of his bedside table. 4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear? he dresses like a grandpa bc he got tired of trying to catch up on latest fashion trends after the disco revolution in the 80′s. so, mostly sweaters and plain shirts and old, dingy robes. however, he used to dress real sharp back in the old days. oz was a real gentleman. 5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends? nope.

E: External Personality 1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality? oz would play up a role to get what he needed, and oftentimes those roles don’t reflect his personality. lowkey he’s a soft boi who needs a hug 2. do they do things that conform to the norm? well, he is a manly man, if that’s what you mean 3. do they follow trends or do their own thing? he follows his own thing. he grew up over the whole trends thing. 4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads? nope. he’s as clueless as you’d think a hundred year old man is on technology. 5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own? he doesn’t bother trying to impress other people (again, unless he needs to).

F: Fun 1. what do they do for fun? he goes out at bars and clubs. he meets people and dances and does everything he can to forget about everything in his life. 2. what is their ideal party? booze. lots of it. and a hell of a lot of attractive guys and girls. 3. who would they have the most fun with? you’d think by his party-going nature he’d be more comfortable with extroverts, but tbh he likes how refreshing ricky is. how ricky stimulates his intellect and makes him feel like alcohol isn’t everything. oz loves interesting conversations and interesting people, and he finds that with ricky. 4. can they have fun while conforming to rules? oz can be wild, but he isn’t a criminal. he believes in rules, but wouldn’t mind bending them for the greater good. 5. do they go out a lot? the club is his house.

G: Gorgeous 1. what is their most attractive external feature? he has beautiful honey-colored eyes and wild freckles across his skin. 2. what is the most attractive part of their personality? his charm and easiness to get along with. 3. what benefits come with being their friend? he has gathered a lot of wisdom due to his age, and it surely shows through his conversations. 4. what parts of them do they like and dislike? oz doesn’t like himself. not one bit. 5. what parts of others do they envy? their mortality.

H: Heat 1. do they rather a hot or cold room? he’d spent a lot of time as a teenager traveling, and his most favorite places are italy and hawaii during the summer time. his worst memory, on the other hand, is the winter spent in the bois jacques during the war. 2. do they prefer summer or winter? summer. 3. do they like the snow? oz used to love being in snowball fights. 4. do they have a favorite summer activity? swimming. his father owned a yacht and they used to take it to the middle of the ocean and go swimming. 5. do they have a favorite winter activity? drinking hot chocolate while reading a book.

I: In-the-closet 1. what is their sexuality? bisexual 2. have they ever questioned their sexuality? the first man he ever fell in love with was his company’s captain (james) during the war. sure, he’d had doubts before, but everything came to place when oz met him. 3. have they ever questioned their gender? no, he’s always identified as male. 4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT? since his family was in the late 1800′s wherein homosexuality was a crime, they probably wouldn’t. 5. how long would/did it take for them to come out? oz became more comfortable with it in the late 1900′s. his influences were the likes of freddie mercury and elton john.

J: Joy 1. what makes them happy? friends and good company and dogs 2. who makes them happy? among a few, ricky 3. are there any songs that bring them joy? he’s always loved playing chopin’s nocturne op. 9. it brings him memories of his childhood and the old life he’s lived. 4. are they happy often? no. it’s become a rarity as time goes by 5. what brings them the most joy in the world? someone he loves (it’s ricky)

K: Kill 1. have they ever thought about suicide? he’s tried, definitely, but nothing works. 2. have they ever thought about homicide? he’s killed men during the war, for sure. but at that time, there was only their side or the enemy. oz didn’t think of it a homicide, but definitely regretted it later on in life. 3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who? the guy who thought it’d be funny to make him live forever. 4. who would miss them if they died? oz’s tight-knit family with anna, and ricky 5. who would be happy they died, anyone? oz has definitely made some enemies in his life, but none deep enough that it would make them happy to see him killed.

L: Lemons 1. what is their favorite fruit? mangoes 2. what is their least favorite fruit? he doesn’t enjoy the chore of picking out the seeds in watermelons. 3. are there any foods they hate? not hate. 4. do they have any food intolerances? he doesn’t like food that take a lot of time to eat (shit with bones or seeds). 5. what is their favorite food? he loves a good bacon sandwich.

M: Maternal 1. would they want a daughter or a son? oz isn’t much of a kid person, but he would want a son who would look exactly like him. having a little version of himself would make his heart explode. 2. how many children do they want? just one. 3. would they be a good parent? he would’ve been the cool dad who let his kid stay up late and bring chocolate for lunch but also he’d be so invested in making his kid learn so he’d read them books and buy them educational materials and shit like that. 4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter? son: james (after captain james atwood); daughter: anna (after another past lover) 5. would they adopt? definitely yes.

N: Never Have I Ever 1. what would they never do? hurt anyone intentionally. 2. what have they never done that they want to do? die. 3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do? he doesn’t understand the current racism, sexism, prejudice issue. oz thought that things would be different after a hundred years. 4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done? he honestly can’t remember 5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do? go to war. live a hundred years.

O: Optimism 1. are they optimistic or pessimistic? definitely a pessimist. 2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others? NO lmao 3. are they good at giving advice? he is intelligent, but sometimes can be an idiot with his decisions. 4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them? ricky is the ray of sunlight in his bleak life 5. were they always optimistic? no. he used to be, though.

P: Personality 1. what is their best personality trait? wit 2. what is their worst personality trait? stubbornness 3. what of their personality do others love? charm 4. what of their personality do others envy? confidence in social situations 5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities? he is aware of his cynicism, but can’t help it.

Q: Questions 1. do they ask for help? he really is very stubborn, so he rarely asks for help until he really needs to. 2. do they ask questions in class? yep, he used to be one of  those kids 3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable? he doesn’t do personal questions 4. do they ask weird questions? nope 5. are they curious? yep

R: Rules 1. do they follow rules? he doesn’t have reason to break them (maybe except falsifying his identities) 2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent? laid-back, but his strict side would definitely show 3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule? oz probably has passed out publicly and questioned by police several times 4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking? thou shall not kill 5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous? oz still can’t believe same-sex marriage still isn’t legal worldwide

S: Streets 1. are they street-smart? he definitely has learned 2. would they give money to someone on the streets? he would, because he’s been there, and he knows how it feels 3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets? oz doesn’t do fights, but sometimes his mouth could get him into all sorts of trouble 4. has anything happened to them on the streets? he’d been mugged twice in new york 5. are they cautious when out? no, because he knows nothing can harm him

T: Truth 1. are they honest? if need be 2. can they tell if someone is lying? takes one to know one, darling 3. is it obvious when they’re lying? he has mastered the skill 4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about? oz regretted not telling ricky about his condition early on, having to leave him without explanation 5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will? yes, he has told someone about his immortality and that person tried to tell it to other people. luckily, the story was ridiculous enough that people never believed her, but that incident made oz more cautious about telling people his story.

U: Underdog 1. have they been bullied? when he was growing up, he usually never was the one kids picked on because he was rich and smart and had friends. 2. have they bullied anyone? at some point in his early life, mostly in high school. 3. have they been physically attacked by a bully? if the nazis count, yes 4. have they ever been doubted? yes.  5. have they surprised people with being good at something? ricky wouldn’t have thought oz knew how to play piano

V: Vomit 1. do they vomit often? when hungover 2. do they get lots of stomach aches? due to excessive drinking, yes 3. are they good at comforting someone ill? he knows basic medicine and first aid. it’s a skill he’s acquired through years of living and being in the war 4. what do they like as far as comfort goes? hot coffee with a touch of whiskey 5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting? burp

W: Water 1. do they drink enough water? he has more alcohol in him than water 2. have they learned to swim? yes. he’s actually pretty good 3. do they like to swim? definitely 4. can they dive? yes 5. can they swim without holding their nose? yes

X: Xylophone 1. what is their favorite genre of music? classical, but he’s come to love rock 2. do they have a favorite song? nocturne op.9 no. 2 in e flat major 3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer? chopin? 4. can they sing well? he’s not awful, but he doesn’t have the voice of an angel either. 5. can they rap? NO

Y: You 1. how old were you when you created them? 16 or 17 2. what inspired you to create them? winnix 3. were they different when they were first created? physical appearance, yes 4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters? he sure is interesting,, ya 5. what’s your favorite thing about them? he’s broken. i love those characters

Z: Zebra 1. what’s their favorite animal? DOGS 2. do they like animals? DOGS 3. cats or dogs? DOGS 4. what’s their dream pet? DOGS 5. do they have any pets at the moment? DOGS

[pacman-tattoo]

All odd o:

iM GONNA PUT THIS UNDER A READMORE BC ITS LONG…

   1. What is you middle//full name?

i’m not gonna say my full name for privacy purposes, but my first + middle names are Tristen Mackenzie

   3. What is your birthday?

May 23rd!

   5. What is your favorite color?

aw man like… light pink? dark purple? cerulean blue??? all good.

   7. Do you have any pets?

yes!!!! i have a cat and her name is rose and i love her

   9. How tall are you?

5′3″-ish? i’m not exactly sure

   11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

uh… 3 i think? 5 counting both pairs of character shoes though!

   13. What talents do you have?

as a lot of ppl who follow this blog, i’m pretty good at writing! other than that, i like to think i’m pretty decent at singing and acting, and i draw a lot. other than that??? idk

   15. Favorite song?

i answered this but i’ll just add more: A Soft Place to Land from Waitress

also Teen Idle and Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds!!

   17. Who would be your ideal partner?

alright so like my ideal partner is definitely someone who just loves me for who i am and doesn’t force me to change, y’know? someone supportive who’s kinda ready to take me as i am with all the baggage i have and still loves me in the end but doesn’t take any bullshit? like, they accept i have problems but won’t let said problems excuse my actions. someone who can help me improve on who i am, i guess?

also someone sweet and gentle and just understands, y’know??

idk i haven’t put much thought into a person past that, since i guess all i want is someone who actually gives a shit?

   19. Do you want a church wedding?

uh personally i don’t really care even tho it’d probably piss off my family i guess??? like, it could be or it couldn’t be and it probably wouldn’t make too much of a difference for me because imo it’s a wedding either way???? idk man

   21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

like, me being in the hospital? no. visiting people? yeah

   23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

uhhh i met a guy off of broadway once he was cool i think his name was andrew or matthew or something and he was in pippin and actually was charlemange the night we saw the show!! i wish i could remember his name because he gave me really good advice about basically sharpening what i wasn’t good at when it came to theatre

   25. What color socks are you wearing?

none

   27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

like… i mean, i wouldn’t be against it? as long as it’s for something i’m proud of, i guess???

   29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

nnnope

   31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually lie on my stomach when i sleep!!! idk why it’s been kind of a recent thing??? like i use to sleep on my left side for years and over the last year or two i’ve started sleeping on my stomach for whatever reason

   33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i usually don’t wake up early enough to actually eat breakfast but i like to make scrambled eggs and toast!! because effort

   35. Have you ever tried archery?

no but i want to :’O

   37. Favorite swear word?

eh, probably just ‘fuck’ because i’m not creative

   39. Do you have any scars?

i have a reaaaaaaally faint scar going up my leg from when i did something stupid and was scratched by a wire!!!

   41. Are you a good liar?

depends on the lie and who i’m telling said lie to, honestly.

   43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

uh i can kinda do a russian accent like Stereotypical Russian and i can do a southern accent (which works because i’m from the south but i have no accent i swear), and i can do a kinda posh accent??? idk man i should sit around and just attempt accents one day.

i’m good at mimicking mercy from overwatch sometimes tho but only when i’m playing her because it’s more of me just sitting there echoing whatever she says i guess

   45. What is your favorite accent?

idk my russian accent is at least fun to sit around and say shit in

also just??? idk what you would call it other than Stuck Up White Girl but that’s also kinda fun because i literally will sit around and say stupid shit

   47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

that’s honestly a good question and i couldn’t tell you because i barely remember anything like lemme check amazon because i have this dress??? that was probably expensive

it actually wasn’t too expensive it was only 35-ish dollars??? idk then i tend to not buy expensive clothes

   49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

   51. Are you scared of spiders?

hhholy fck yeah i nearly panicked yesterday when there was a spider in my car like i was almost gone but my brother got it

   53. Favorite foreign food?

honestly that’s hard but i??? fukn???? love??? chicken enchiladas????

also does fondue count bc it’s from switzerland and i love fondue like cheese??? good. chocolate??? heaven.

   55. Most used phrased?

probably like “idk man” because i just Don’t Know

   57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

depends!!! sometimes it can be around 30-40, sometimes an hour, sometimes i’ll be ready in 10 minutes i don’t do makeup and throw on something decent

   59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

i tend to mostly suck???? that doesn’t sound sexual i swear why does everything have to sound sexual jfc

   61. Do you sing to yourself?

i think we all know the answer to this one. it’s a definite yes and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn’t know me tbh

   63. Biggest Fear?

dying young, i guess? it’s something that kinda haunts me still and idk of anything that’d be a bigger fear than that for me rn

   65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk i rarely watch movies????

   67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

i mean i’d probably leave a few out but i can

i took a thing and i got like, 35-36 out of the 50 so that’s good i guess

   69. Extrovert or Introvert?

def an introvert

   71. What makes you nervous?

what doesn’t make me nervous tho

uh i guess just??? driving in silence makes me nervous

honestly any silence makes me nervous because i need at least some sort of constant noise??? tests are hell, man.

   73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends on the mistake??? i tend to but if it’s just something really minor i won’t bother the person.

   75. Have you ever started a rumor?

nah i dont think so. if i have then??? whoops. i know a guy who started (or at least tried to?) rumors about himself tho it was weird

   77. Have you ever drank underage?

not rly??? i’ve had sips of stuff but that was usually with my parents and it wasn’t enough to make me feel anything. altho next time my friend and i hang out without her parents there i might drink a little, just to be able to say ‘i did the thing’ since i kinda wanna do teenage shit while i still can i guess?????

   79. Who was your first real crush?

guy i knew/know (we’re kinda friends??? like we talk but we don’t make extra effort to do so imo???) named jacob!!! he let me down gently because he was also the first person i confessed to, and altho i kinda regret it, i still had that rejection so at least i don’t have to deal with that shit with someone else being “that first rejection” or w/e

   81. Can you roll your Rs?

aaaa sadly no i wish i could tho!!!

   83. How fast can you run?

i don’t think i’m fast but i think i’m fast enough

   85. What color is your eyes?

blue!

   87. Do you keep a journal?

i kinda used to??? i stopped writing in it for a while…   89. Do you like your age?

ehh kinda??? like…? i’m still technically a “““teenager”““ (even tho i technically count until i’m 20 but legally i’m an adult at 18) but it kinda sucks because being 17 is lowkey kinda stressful because woah ur a senior in high school time for u to be forced into thinking you need to choose a good college that will get u a degree for a job you’ll always be in for the rest of ur life and just the fact i’m kinda inexperienced in shit??? i just wanna be smooched before i turn 18 man

   91. Do you like your own name?

i mean??? i don’t like ‘tristen’ but i do like ‘tris’! which is why i go by it online and i try to get ppl to call me it. there was someone i know who was like “no one even calls you that” when i said something about being called “tris” to someone and i’m like… that’s because i never said anything about it before…??? no one calls me tris because i never really went by it before….???

but anyway “tristen” is fine but i will always prefer to be called “tris”

   93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i’m gonna say i’d love to have a girl but honestly? i don’t really care? if i have a child or if i have children, i just want them to be happy and healthy and feel they can trust me with anything - or at least almost anything, since i never really had that person growing up.

   95. What are your weaknesses?

uh i’m not the strongest person when it comes to physical activities but that’s also because i’m a dumb egg who sucks when it comes to shit like dancing because i kinda throw myself down a hole when other ppl get things and i don’t and i get really self deprecating over shit

also self deprecation by itself is a pretty big weakness.

other than that, i’m kinda messy?? like my room itself is a mess and there’s clothes on the floor and i really just need to take a day and clean up

   97. Were your ancestors royalty?

not that i know of

   99. Color of your bedspread?

uh its too hot for one rn but i have a white one that my grandma bought for me and i use it when its cold af outside

i want this galaxy one that i found tho….

(I SPENT AN HOUR ANSWERING THIS BUT IT WAS FUN OMG…)

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x17 recap

(Aka the one where Jane and Oliver get kidnapped)

Or in short: Oliver proves how not-great he is under pressure; Jane is badass and manages to ensure the survival of not only herself and her bumbling non-boyfriend, but also a couple of innocent kids, because that’s just how awesome she is; Weller utilises every anger-management tactic he’s ever learned and still ends up blowing his gasket bc he doesn’t deal well when his wifey is at risk; Reade reaches new levels of stupidity; Patterson and Tasha are both badass despite being in severe need of a hug; and lil orphaned puppy Roman finally gets to go home with his loving family. 

So basically, this was a kickass episode and I have a lot of thoughts about it.

Enjoy.

Okay literally my first thought is 'thank god the clothes stayed on'. The second thought is more of a smug belief-- and that’s that this is the only bed Jane and Oliver will ever share, bc lbr, this thing was 100% doomed before it even began. No relationship can work when one person within it already has a soulmate, especially when they see said soulmate just about every single day, and are still secretly in love with them. (And the soulmate still loves them too). Like seriously, boy, you never stood a chance. But anyhow, I like that Jane's tranq puncture-site is on the right side of her neck, bc I'd feel kinda sad if they stabbed the bird. I really hope we get to find out the bird's significance someday. I vaguely remember Oscar mentioning something about it at some point (something to do with freedom? Or was that in a  fic?) but I still just want a clear answer. But anyhow, I'm off track again. Both of them seem like they have a thumping headache rn, though Oliver's seems to be worse (or more likely, Jane's just tougher than he is) and it pleases me to think that he's suffering a little for this. After all, he did get poor innocent Jane pulled into his shit. Tbh I also appreciate him getting zapped by the door, Thanks, writers. You know what’s important to me.

Okay so Reade's interaction with Nicki's kid is possibly the best moment he's had in like six episodes?? "No, but that's a cool fact buddy" lol. Damn that is one cute kid. And woah Nicki is looking so clean-cut and professional rn?? And her apartment is so nice and she seems like a good mom and she tells Reade that the partying is a rare thing for her and that they can't see each other anymore and wow I feel like an ass for the assumptions/judgements I made about her character. I'm realising now that in some ways she might actually be too good for Reade... or at least, how he is in his current state. Although damn look at that height difference, that fact alone kinda makes me want to ship them a little bit haha 

As for people that I most definitely do NOT ship, Weller and Nas have met in the conference room at the crack o' dawn, and lol I love his sassy "What the hell am I doing here?" That’s a good question, bud. If you were a little quicker with getting your shit together in regards to Jane (I'll give you a hint: start by telling her how you feel, then KISS HER), you probably would have been snuggled up in bed with her rn and neither of you would be having these problems now. But sigh. We're not there yet. Emphasis on the ‘yet’, bc it’s definitely coming. And then they will be. But anyway lbr if Oliver got kidnapped alone, everyone would be pretty 'meh' about it, and that's not exactly a thrilling episode. But to answer Weller’s original question: Devil Lady has found some files that belonged to the Sandstorm fixer that didn't get destroyed, and wants to show them to him. You know, it's kinda weird. Nas has been actually more tolerable again recently-- it's like she goes through cycles or something. She's like a planet, steadily rotating, light side then dark side then back again. Tbh if I had to pick a planet for her, it'd be Pluto, because it's very small and cold and belongs as far away as possible. But anyhow, apparently she found out that Roman had gone to the Bahamas a few years back to go to a fancy bank and get millions from a trust fund. So if that money went to Sandstorm, maybe they can track it. And basically the only part of this news I care about is the fact that it means Weller and Roman will be interacting more in this ep yaaaaaaaaay

Sigh my little Patterson, hovering anfd fidgeting as she waits for Dr Sun. "I just wanted to talk to you"/"Yes, that's what appointments are for" hehe okay maybe I appreciated that one, Dr Sun, but this doesn't mean I like or trust you. Patterson has apparently decided she's done with therapy now that Borden is dead, and I may not like Dr Sun (and I'm pissed that she told Patterson her headaches were psychosomatic), but she makes a very good point about the bug being another violation into her life and body by Borden/Sandstorm and ugh my poor baby keeps telling everyone she's fine and that she feels nothing but it's all a facade and soon she's gonna crack and ugh I just miss my carefree lil pumpkin who giggled and kissed David in a library and ugh it's just all very upsetting

Lol so Oliver's all panicky and looking to Jane-- who, remember, he still has no idea is a super soldier-- to tell him what's going on and what to do and wow man there's really not much backbone in there at all, is there? Yet another reason why he and Jane would never work; his soft, lily-white hands and her strong, callused ones just don't fit. Hers and Weller's, though... But anyway yes of course I know that strength and ruggedness etc are not really requirements for a good partner, but I think they're a necessity in Jane's case specifically. She spends all her time being a pillar of strength-- she needs someone that she can be on even footing with, someone who will support her and have her back just as she has his. And hmmm, strange, this is actually sounding familiar... who does she have that kind of connection with......? But anyhow, back to the man of the (very, very fleeting) moment. He's doing a lot of face-scrunching as Jane apologises to him for causing this, for having enemies etc. And while she's trying to plan, to work out solutions, he's being ridiculously unhelpful-- until he accidentally reveals that he knows where they are, and ooooh boy, you're seconds away from turning from a figurative dead weight to a literal one. She shoves him into a wall (awww, she and Weller even have the same moves lol) and mmmm yep this is much more the kind of physical contact I prefer to see between them. She looks like she's considering roughing him up a little more (I may or may not have yelled "Kick his ass, Jane!"), when a voice comes over the speakers, referring to him as Oliver Steele (okay literally are we in a comic book right now? Because he's apparently gone from a name that implies coldness and inhumanity to the name 'Kind' and I'm sorry I'm a little dizzy from all my eye-rolling). But anyhow he's ordered to stand in front of the camera and recite the message they've left for him, one Jane grabs and reads while he's still pressed against the wall like he's afraid to move haha. Turns out his father is a big-time thief/embezzler and now he's gotta pay back what he stole in order to save Oliver and Jane's lives. Let's hope he hasn't spent it all haha. Turns out the place they're in used to be Oliver's family's holiday house when he was a kid, but unfortunately he doesn't know the address, which surprises me, bc he's usually always so useful and reliable *snorts*. Also lol they said he grew up in Sydney-- the casting people do know that Australian and New Zealander accents are different, right? He'd never pass for a native Sydney-sider. But aaaaaaanyway. Also wow what a shady jerk, he tries to evade the truth by saying maybe they've asked for the ransom just bc his dad was rich. (Not Rich, bc that'd be weird and also pretty much impossible). Also I never realised Oliver was an accountant?? That's just so... white-collar. And dull, at least when compared with being a super secret agent. Yet more reason why these two would literally never work. "How was your day honey?" "Oh I just stopped a terror attack that would have wiped out half of Manhattan. What about you?" "....I did calculations with a ton of digits in them". Yeah, nah. No-go. Luckily for Mr Panicky, Jane already has a plan underway, because nobody but Weller is allowed to giver her orders and expect them to actually be followed lol

Speaking of Jane's 'supervisor', he's down with Nas and Roman in the cell, showing him the picture of him at the bank-- which is enough to trigger a memory of him signing the paperwork at the bank, withdrawing money from a trust belonging to someone that died. And while he doesn't remember who it was, he knows that he probably killed them for it. And ugh he calls himself a monster, because so many of his memories involve killing, and ugh Weller tells him he's not that person anymore-- and when Roman questions how he could know that, he tells him that he watched Jane go through the exact same thing. There was a brief time where Weller believed Jane was a monster, but he knows the truth now, knows that she is good without a single shadow of doubt in his mind. Whatever she did-- whoever she was-- in her Sandstorm life means nothing, because she isn't that person anymore. She's Jane, his Jane, and he would trust her not only with his life, but the lives of everyone he loves. And he wants to be the same for her; wants her to know that he'd do anything for her. And so he starts by becoming an advocate for Roman, developing a connection with him and supporting him. In the last few days he's sparred with him, taken him out into the field, brought him beers in his cell and just hung out, and now is reassuring him that he sees the good in him. You can see him truly starting to care for Roman, maybe even feel a kinship with him bc of how easily Kurt could have been the one Shepherd took under her wing and brainwashed-- she had access to him at his most vulnerable time, and if her plan had involved recruiting him then, it probably would have worked. So there's all that going on, and plus, I think he also just kinda likes Roman? Genuinely? Which is lucky bc you boys got a lot of shared family holidays ahead of ya, just sayin'

Anyways back in the Cabin In The Woods, where Jane has found a penny to unscrew the camera cage, then smash it in with a lamp, knowing that the captors will have to come get them if they want Oliver to make that demand video. And Oliver is all confused and a little frightened by her badassery (again, he clearly can't handle a strong woman) and she explains that she used to be a criminal, but isn't anymore, and ugh I am so proud of her and the fact that she openly takes responsibility for all the wrong she has done, but also states with such conviction that she's no longer that person. Ugh, Jane knowing and believing that she's a good person... look how far my baby's come. And the fact that Weller helped her to believe it.... ugh. My beautiful supportive soulmate babies. But anyway lol she gives Oliver the lamp (bc lbr he'd be completely useless without a weapon) and then takes on three armed captors by herself while he just stands inthe background. Looks like he's completely useless even WITH a weapon. And then hahahaa the boss guy "guess it was a mistake to take the girl". Yeah, you sure got that right buddy haha

Ooooohh Reade has been called into the principal's office, uh-ohs... and ugh poor Zapata is watching so anxiously from her desk and you just know Reade is going to be pissed about this, even though she gave him very clear and fair warning, and she did it for his own good. And ugh for a start all Weller says is that she told him Reade was going through some stuff, and for a second I thought that maybe she'd just said he was over-stressed and needed to be given some vacation time, but then Weller brings up the drugs and ugh he's trying so hard to protect Reade, to get him help without suspending him or putting anything on his record, and he even comes around and sits on the edge of the desk so there's not that 'separation' between them-- not boss and employee, but friends, brothers-- and ugh he's being so gentle and trying to offer help, and suddenly Reade is throwing it back in his face, exploding up from his chair, and Weller is on his feet so fast bc he's got to be prepared in case this gets physical, and ughhhhh he keeps trying to bridge the gap, reaching out as a friend-- but Reade cuts him off and tells him that they're not friends, or family, just coworkers, and ughhhhhhhhh you can see that that really hurts Weller? He cares about Reade, and to him, they WERE like family. And of course he feels like he's failed as their leader-- he should have seen this storm brewing and helped defuse it before it was anything more than a couple of grey clouds, but he's been so tied up with his own issues (which, to be fair, have been numerous and rather big) that he hasn't been holding his team together like he should. And I'm completely certain that Reade has referred to himself as Weller's friend before, which means that that friendship has been lost, and poor Weller didn't even know it was happening. UGHHHH. And ugh he's still trying to help Reade even though he's starting to get angry at Reade for being so awful, and oh Weller "I'm doing everything in my power not to fire you" ughhh he's STILL trying to protect him and then ugh stupid Reade just quits and storms out and part of me wants to say "So long, asshole!!" because of how he's treated the others, but I know they'll be sad woithout him so I hope he comes back. Tho lbr, we do know that someone dies soon... I mean it's not impossible that they're distancing Reade and making him unlikeable so that it's easier for the viewers to swallow if he does die. But ugh I hope that's not the case. Ugh the team needs Jane's sweet comforting nature more than ever rn tbh

Lol it's fairly telling when someone asks if your father was a good parent and the best you can come up with is 'he was fine' haha. But then ughh noooo this boss guy lost his daughter bc Oliver's dad stole all her money and destroyed her business, and ugh okay I do feel really bad for him. But while I could roll with his kidnapping plan if it was all a bluff, I can't be on his side if he's going to kill innocents as retribution for the actions of others. That's not how justice works, that's not how any of this works! But ugh my clever Jane uses the ploy of comforting a trembling Oliver (lbr this guy was totally a rabbit or something in another life, whereas Jane was clearly a big cat of some kind. A mountain lion, maybe. Weller was a bear, in case anyone was wondering). But ugh anyway she's so smart, ensuring that her very, very distinctive arm is in the shot so that the team would know she was there when they saw it (lbr Weller would have recognised it even without the tatts). Also uh oh, the kidnappers also have someone else captive?? Plot twiiiist

Lol when Patterson shows the video, I love that Zapata instantly recognises Oliver as the guy Jane's been dating (well, I guess she did just look up his background check a couple of days ago lol) and Weller's staring at the screen like he doesn't know how to feel-- on one hand he's not exactly a fan of Oliver, but on the other, he knows Jane cares about the guy and it would hurt her if something happened to him, and also Weller's a protector by nature so he would never want to see an innocent person hurt. But still. And then Jane's hand enters the frame and I feel like Weller's brain goes into a momentary shutdown, like the 'PROTECT JANE' alarm bells are instantly shrieking inside his head and ugh his voice sounds so mechanical when he says that she's there too, like he's got to keep himself locked down super tight or he'll snap and start smashing things. And then they find the video of the kids, and so now they have four people to rescue from two separate locations-- and saving one pair might endanger the other, meaning that to save their teammate and friend (and for one of them, their soulmate) could lead to the death of two kids. But rescuing the kids first could mean losing Jane forever. Prisoner's dilemma, indeed. The mother of the kids has apparently gone off-grid, so Tasha takes responsibility for tracking her down. Nas will decrypt the videos with Patterson, who asks if Reade's in yet-- and Weller just says he's not coming in today. Even though he has already been in, and out. I wonder if Tasha knows that he actually quit? Maybe she just thinks Weller suspended him. Did Weller have time to tell her? 

But anyway ugh Weller's first thought (or second, after MUST SAVE JANE) was to go to Roman, to let him know so he wouldn't be in the dark about the threat to his sister. And Roman is like ‘are you telling me bc you want me to do something?’ And Weller just tells him that he had the right to know and ughhhhhhhh no one in the world loves Jane as much as these two men do and tbh I think Weller really needed this moment with Roman? Like even if they didn't mention how much Jane means to them both, it would mean a lot just knowing he was in the room with someone who was suffering like he was, who couldn't bear to lose her either. Roman is so shaken as he thanks Weller and honestly Weller looks like he's nearly in tears. I wonder if he's looking at Roman and wondering if he's going to become the only link Weller has left to the woman he loved and lost? And then ugh he doesn't need to comfort Roman rn, but still he comes and sits down with open body language, putting them on the same level and being open with him, and tells him that everything he did in the past was under Shepherd's orders, and that maybe she was the only one who was the monster. Which Roman can't quite believe just yet but I hope maybe one day he will. And then ugh "Jane's the only family I have left. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her" and UGHHHH you can just see the understanding in Weller's eyes. He doesn't know either, because he's already barely survived losing Jane once-- and that time, at least he had his anger to fuel him, to keep him from facing how he really felt. But this time... this time, he wouldn't survive it. Which is why he tells Roman that they'll find her. He'll find her and get her out alive, or he’ll die trying. 

I'm a bit iffy on the whole "I've known those kids since they were in preschool" thing. Hasn't his dad been missing for years? One of those kids only looked like ten, so why would he not know them before his dad left but definitely know them after? But anyhow, he and Jane are now unable to escape without risking the kids' safety. But Jane's always been clever, and able to think outside the box. They were told not to escape, but no one said anything about calling for help... Also ugh the way she calls them "my team". That's right, honey, they ARE your team. Your family. They will come for you, just like you would come for them. And lol when she says FBI, he's like "Who are you??" And it's like, well, she's FBI. She just told you that. Ooooh things are getting kinda rocky between them now that they're realising how little they actually knew each other, and how little of themselves that they trusted the other with. This pairing was doomed from the start, but I think it has just now officially gone up in smoke. And so, appropriately, they're headed up the chimney (honestly I'm surprised that Oliver made it haha) and ugh they'd just reached a phone in the room above when they were busted. Also okay I'm familiar with fireplaces (I grew up in a renovated 120 year old cottage) but I'm not familiar with fireplaces in multiple-storey homes (again, bc of the cottage, and also bc the vast majority of Australian houses are single storey bc we have so much room to spread out). But anyhow surely you can't scale a chimney from one floor to another? I need a fireplace expert haha. And so anyway, the two of them are marched downstairs at gunpoint, with Oliver noticing a house being watched on a videofeed before he's shoved forwards. Oooh, is he going to actually make himself useful for once?

Weller's actually doing a pretty good job keeping cool, tbh. Tho maybe he just smashed a few things before walking into the lab. They've located the grandmother of the kids, who was called by the dad, and who they think is going to pay the ransom so that the mother doesn't get arrested for stealing all that money. Damn, why did they even need to steal it if the grandma was already that loaded? Also how much total was stolen from the firm? Bc if they said 200 total, then obviously each conspirator would only have a portion. And plus they stole the money years ago, I'm sure most of t is gone by now. But anyway, unimportant.

Boss guy's second in command (Aka the Freddie Mercury wannabe) plops Oliver and Jane down on the couch and then conveniently gathers his team around him to be screamed at, giving Oliver the opportunity to tell Jane about the house he saw and where it is. Then Freddie gets grumpy and pokes them with his big gun until they’re quiet lol. But too late, bud. Jane has already hatched her plan, and spoiler alert, it’s not gonna work out well for you...

Okay this lady's glasses are tripping me out. She looks like a human-insect hybrid that's bleeding from its tear ducts. Which I'm assuming is not the look she was going for. But with that aside, the main take away from this moment is that Oliver's father is in Switzerland... and also dead. Well, that is certainly somewhat of a setback. Also ugh I love how quiet Weller is being? Like I feel like he let Zapata take the lead here bc all his energy is focused on not exploding into a mini supernova of worry and fear and rage. So he sits there and keeps the lid on tight, silently simmering, drawing on every ounce of calm and focus that he has. When Patterson confirms Magnus' death and Zapata starts to crack a little (ugh the emotion in her voice as she says 'so we have nothing', someone hold me) he holds strong, reminding them that they've bought a little time by preventing the woman from paying her ransom, and that the baddies don’t know Magnus is dead. All is not lost yet.  

Meanwhile Boss guy is shaking his head at Jane and Oliver like a disappointed parent, though tbh I'm kinda more distracted by one of his henchmen who is off to Jane’s right and holding a big gun, bc damn, this guy is fiiiiiiiiiine. I really hope he's not going to die. Anyway Jane smoothly lies that they were looking for a phone, not to call for help, but to call Magnus, bc lbr the dude is a baby boomer or above and so probably doesn't hang on YT watching cat videos in his spare time. (Or videos of engines on vehicles and heavy duty agricultural equipment, like some of the male nurses at my work do. Weird, I know). But her ruse works, and he lets Oliver call his dad's old number-- and he does, looking all like 'uhhhhhhhhhh what do I do nowwww' as he does so. And then Jane yanks it off him and tells Magnus he needs to pay the ransom, while also dropping a whole bunch of Sandstorm keywords into the conversation, knowing that it would be flagged by Nas' technology. And almost like he was drawn to her voice, (okay or more likely he was the first one informed about the call, but whatever) Weller enters the lab with Roman in tow, earning a lot of confused looks and a generous amount of awkward silence before Nas tries to intervene. But Weller ain't having nobody's shit today, and just firmly says that Roman is staying up there with them. And so the whole team-- plus its newest member-- listen in on the message, and realise that the latter part of it sounds kind of odd; it's a message using the first letter of each word-- SAVE KIDS AT WHITESHORE. Roman wants them to wait til they know Jane's location so they can save both teams at once, but Weller trusts his wifey, and she said to go after the kids. So no matter how much it terrifies him to put her at risk, he’ll do what she asked. He and Tasha will go save the kiddos while Patterson and Nas try to find Jane, and Roman goes back to his cell to sit and wait and stew. Sigh, my poor boy, I would hug you if I could

Back in the cabin fever, Jane tells Oliver that he needs to be ready to run when she tells him to, once they know the kids are safe. And ugh I just love how much faith she has in the team. She knows they won’t fail to understand her message or to rescue the kids. Meanwhile Oliver is all 'we can't, it's too dangerous!' and she's just like 'bitch, please' lol. Come on bro, grow a set. You can do it. Meanwhile Weller and Tasha and a whole squad burst into the house where the kids are being kept, killing all the armed captors. Tasha comforts the kids and brings them out (tbh I'd happily be rescued by her anyday) while Weller's iron control finally snaps, and he kicks a guy to the floor and roars at him to tell him where the other hostages are. Clearly the guy upstairs at the cabin watching the monitor notices the commotion, though, because he radios down to the others-- which is all the signal Jane needs. She shouts at Oliver to run, then yanks an old wooden ski off the wall and beats the crap out of their captors with it. Oliver is rabbiting, just as he was ordered-- but he runs into another baddie, and then said baddie ends up running into some very spiky antlers mounted on the wall. If it was his house, I would say that that had a kind of ironic justice to it, with him being killed by an animal that he himself killed (I'm not a fan of hunting unless it's purely for meat, and displaying any sort of animal trophy is something I'm really against, but hey, that’s just a personal preference) but it's not his house, so that's irrelevant. Jane takes her opponent out with a fire poker (I love that the guy she fought went down after one hit but the woman kept fighting) and then she finds Oliver still staring at the impaled guy. They rush for the door, only to come face to face with the boss guy and Freddie and a couple of randoms. Seemingly not the hottie, though, which sucks. Boss guy is about to kill Oliver, but Jane saves him by convincing him that Magnus will never care about a lost child in the way that he does, and that his daughter wouldn’t have wanted him to become a murderer. And ugh it wooorks and the guy decides to let them go-- except then damn Freddie shoots him in the back, and takes over the operation, demanding money or he'll kill Jane. Oliver desperately offers him the money from his charity-- about $50M-- but they have to go to the headquarters to make the transfer because of some failsafe requiring two boardmembers. Jane gives him an approving nod, and quickly scratches the charity's logo into the leather couch with the sharp edge of her ziptie. Pretty damn neat for something drawn behind one's back, but hey, it's Jane, and she can do pretty much anything, so I'll allow it. 

Aah Pluto-Nas is being all light-side again which is super confusing. Why is she being so nice to Roman? Is it just bc the writers wanted him to say the "I belong in here" line and Weller couldn't be in this scene so they just went for Nas instead? I literally do not get why she actually looks sad for him though ugh. What is going onnnnnnn she just keeps spinningggggg and I don’t know what she waaaaaantsssss

Oooh Weller and Tasha have reached the cabin, though everyone has gone and the place has been thoroughly cleaned up. Eagle-eye Tasha spots the mark Jane left behind though (yeah, girl!), showing Weller and telling him it's the logo for Oliver's charity. And lol there's a tiny edge to his voice as he asks how she knows that, like she's been going on double dates with Jane and Oliver or something, and it's all like 'Tasha how could u'/'I thought you were on my side' lol and she explains that she ran a background check on him for Jane (lol she says "when they first started dating"-- it was literally like two days ago. Tho lbr they've only been dating for like a week so it still counts haha). 

So the team rushes back to Manhattan, which is like at least a 2 hour helicopter ride away. At Oliver’s offices, Jane's cuffed in the back of a van with two guards (ooh, fellas, I don't like your odds of surviving this) while Freddie takes Oliver upstairs at gunpoint to complete the transfer. And then in walks one of his co-boardmembers, who apparently didn't see the huge guy with the gun until she was literally inside the office, despite the walls and door being entirely made of glass. Poor lady, she's probably sleep deprived. I wonder how he chose which boardmember to call, though? Personally I would have chosen a man without kids, if that was an option. Maybe she's the coolest one under pressure? Or maybe she lives close or always works late or something. But anyhow the FBI arrives outside with lights flashing, which is not exactly a terrific move considering the bad guys could very easily have a lookout?? Good thing both of the other dudes are in the van with Jane and can't see outside...  Ah but poor Jill is having some difficulties with her password, and Oliver-- in a fit of bravery, about time son-- grabs for the gun and yanks it upwards just in time to prevent her being shot. The sound comes over the radios, which again is just enough distraction for Jane to start kicking the crap out of her guards, then get her cuffed hands in front and steal a knife off one of them, shoving it into his neck and then throwing it into the chest of the second. And holy SHIT that was AMAZING! I love this kinda thing. Also Jane must have rubbed off on Oliver a little bit (thankfully not in any other sense of those words tho) bc he holds his own against Freddie just long enough for Nas to get there and shoot him. So if she’s leading the team, I guess Weller and Tasha are still on their way back from Vermont, then?

Oh we're back at the NYO already? Ugh, okay. Anyway Jane and Patterson come to the conference room to tell Oliver the news about his father's death, and Patterson shows him the donations that his dad made to his charity before tactfully leaving the two of them alone. Jane's sweet, trying to comfort him by telling him that she believed his dad still cared for him and was trying to make up for the wrong he'd done. And then she offers to take him home (to his home, not hers, obviously), knowing that he would have been really shaken by the events of the day and she wants to make sure he has someone to talk to if he needs it. I honestly don't think she was planning for their relationship to go any further than today. He certainly isn’t, and gently breaks things off (they're already broken, bud, it's okay). But aw he tells her that she was incredible today. Yeah, she was. And far too good for you, bucko! The only reason you're the dump-er right now is because you beat her to it. But I'm kinda glad you did, so she doesn't have to feel like any more of the bad guy than she already does.

Wait what?? Both Weller and Nas going to Dr Sun to ask for Roman to be allowed out on house arrest?? Like I totally understand and am unsurprised by Weller wanting this (I feel like he's wanted to do so since working with Roman in the field), but Nas?? What motive does she have?? Does she just want Roman out where he'll trigger more memories and be more effective at bringing them closer to Sandstorm?? Or does she want him somewhere where he's less protected, more easily targeted? Or is she hoping he’ll remember the Zipping and turn on Jane?? What are you doing, you enigmatic ice queen??? Dr Sun's not a fan of the idea, bc she's still on the 'Roman's a damaged monster' train. Which means Weller's taking the request to the top of the food chain. Damn, he's really going in to bat for Roman (*cough* for Jane *cough) and ugh I love him for it. 

As usual, Jane is also busy worrying about others-- she goes straight to Zapata the moment Oliver walks away, and asks about Reade, wanting to know if he's okay. Tbh tho I'm bummed that we didn't get to see the moment when the team (okay, yes, particularly Jeller) reunited?? Were there hugs??? Long, lingering touches?? Meaningful and maintained eye contact?? Give me something, writers, c’mon. But anyway Zapata sighs that she honestly doesn’t know, looking sad-- then brightens a bit as she crooks that knowing eyebrow with a "what about you?" haha. Jane immediately says she'll be okay-- because she already is, tbh-- and then says that getting dumped for the first time wasn't a lot of fun. Well, considering that you killed one ex and the other threw you in jail, this is actually kind of the best that any of your breakups has gone? And then she says that there was too much baggage between them, and Zapata tells her that that's a cop out-- and for a second I'm like ‘giiiirl what're you doing?? Are you trying to encourage Jane to try again with Oliver???’ And then she adds that, baggage or no baggage, she and Oliver just weren’t right for each other (oh. Phew.). And so Jane asks how you know when it's right (Come on honey, let's be real here. You already know.) and Zapata tells her that when it's right, you make room for the baggage. And literally on cue, Weller steps out of the elevator and calls Jane's name. Or maybe that was destiny calling?? Lbr they're one and the same for Jane lol. And ughh Jane just stares at him for a moment and tbh I feel so robbed that we didn't get to see the smirk that would have crossed Zapata's face right then, bc lbr we all know it was there. I can totally picture her responding to Jane's 'goodnight' with a wink and a 'go make room!' (before adding 'and then go get one' under her breath hahahaha).

Ugghhhhh I cannot get over this scene. Weller's all serious as he and Jane head down to Roman's cell, and I'm sure she would have asked him what's going on and whether Roman is alright, and he would have told her he's fine but just left it at that because this big dumb softie wants Roman to be able to tell her the news himself. And so Jane is all confused and concerned when they walk in and both Nas and Dr Sun are there-- they've just been briefing Roman on the rules of the deal but she doesn't know that, and ugh I hope that Weller did assure her that everything was all okay before they got to the cell bc otherwise she'd probably be instantly afraid that it meant he was about to be taken back to the CIA or something. Although she does look back at Weller when they come through the door and he just gives a tiny nod so hopefully she knows he's got her back. But ughh then Roman tells her that they're putting him on house arrest and shows her the ankle monitor (which I feel like shouldn’t have a gap in its band but whatevs lol) and smiiiiiles like the adorable puppy he is and Weller tells her that Roman's going to stay at the safehouse with her (the level of TRUST that is being shown here oh my goddddd) and she literally doesn't seem to know what to do with herself rn like she looks at Weller and then back at Roman and her LIP IS TREMBLING and neither of them really listens to Dr Sun as she names her conditions, they're just staring at each other in stunned joy, and Jane's shock turns into a tearful (but glowing) smile as she finally asks "You're getting out????" and ugh I wish she could see the big dumb smile on Weller's face behind her, he's so proud of himself and so happy for them and ugh Roman is allowed to walk out past her and she looks at Weller for a moment before remembering the other two, shooting a grateful glance at them as well, but I stg if it had just been Weller there she would have literally thrown her arms around him without a second of hesitation and he would have squeezed back and she would have whispered thank you in his ear before turning and hurrying away with Roman because she wouldn't have wanted him to see the tears on her face-- but he'd already felt them in the little damp patch on his shoulder and he would have just stood there for a moment looking around the cell with a dumb little smile on his face and then he would have cleared his throat and put on his business face and given the guard a very professional nod as he thanked them and relieved them of their duty and ughhhhhhhhh. I am so sad that this ep had two excellent opportunities for hugs and yet we got none. But anyhow. At least we did get her whispered thanks and that intense eye contact with the "you have no idea what this means to me" and the "I have some idea" bc of course he does, he was the one who brought Jane to her safehouse that first night, the one who no longer had to watch her locked up like an animal, suffering and alone. She would still be those things-- he couldn’t fix that yet-- but at least she was now being treated like a person. And ugh it must have been so hard for him to leave her there that first night, to let her go when she'd hugged him, knowing that he wanted to stay and keep holding her until she stopped trembling against him. So yes, he did know a little something about it. 

And so ughhhhh she gets Roman home and nods to their detail and the agents immediately obey her and go (technically Weller is her direct supervisor, which means she probably outranks them. Technically.) and ugh the siblings are left to hang out on their own and joke about what they're going to order and clearly this little freedom experiment is working already bc he just had a memory of collecting that money from earlier-- it was her trust, under the name Alice Kruger, and the form states that she was killed in action. And it seems like he believes it, because he's crying over it. But okay I'm confused about this. Was she still going by Alice (at least officially) at that time? I had assumed that Shepherd changed their identities when they were taken from the orphanage? But I guess maybe they stayed Krugers in the official sense and that’s what all their IDs said, but within Sandstorm they were known exclusively by their new names? Tbh I can't really remember what the go was with Sandstrorm vs Orion; Remi was like Sandstorm's plant in Orion, right? Also damn, as a sidenote this means Jane should technically be a multimillionaire rn. Woah.    

Oh, Reade. Oh, you absolute walking disaster. I like the bartender for making sure he wasn't driving; lbr it'd be just the kinda stupid thing he would in his current state of mind. And then he sees the dealers and boooiiiiii don't you go over there. Don’t do it. This is going to be a bad idea...  aaand yep, it is. Too bad you're so distinctively handsome, bc you got recognised, and now you've had the crap kicked out of you. I feel bad for you, but tbh bud you kinda deserve it a lil bit. Now go show up at Zapata's door, apologise profusely, and ask to stay on her couch until you pull your life together. Hop to it.                 .                            

Oh Paterson honey :( I'm  so sorry that this has affected you so much and that you can't escape Borden's impact even now that he's (most likely) dead. For a second when she was staring at the Oregon Trail I thought that maybe he'd actually left a message inside for her somehow, like an apology or a lead on Sandstorm or something. But nope, she was just afraid of another bug. And then she starts tearing everything apart which is such an inefficient way to search tbh. She should have just gone to work and grabbed a scanner thing, but clearly she's not in the right frame of mind for the sensible option.... ugh can we all just hug her forever please                  

Ngl I'm a little displeased that Weller and Nas are walking somewhere together rn, discussing the call from Jane about the trust (ugh I bet she thanked Weller again and it was like this little intimate moment, but which Nas promptly interrupted of course). Anyway I'm just gonna pretend that he's being a kind person and is walking her to her subway stop or something so she doesn't have to be out alone. Also man Archie is TINY. Wow. But anyway then the guy approaches Weller and Weller immediately has his hand on his gun. Good boy, very sensible. But nope it's not a threat, it's a lawsuit haha. And then one is delivered to each of the team, because they're being investigated for aiding and abetting a terrorist organisation. Well, there was that thing with the HMX, and the fact that two of Sandstorm’s ringleaders are now kinda members of the team.... but ugh I'm so looking forward to the new ep and seeing how they all deal with this (I wonder if Reade will be brought back in, given his involvement??) and tbh I kinda have missed Weitz's snark haha  

[wingheadshellhead]

Hi, I love your blog! So I've been reading a lot of 616 stevetony lately, and I've noticed that in both canon and in a lot of fiction, Steve seems to really dislike Extremis (even before superior iron man). Why do you think that is? Even without looking at this with shipper goggles (which I always am), I think it's really strange that Steve has so much disdain for something that essentially saved one of his best friend's lives.

(THIS HAS TAKEN ME 5 BILLION YEARS BUT HERE IT IS FINALLY)

i used to be in the same boat and automatically assumed steve’s dislike of extremis was one of those fandom headcanon things that was so commonly accepted it’d basically become fact, but it’s really, actually, all 100% canon. but the comics that deal with it happen right before civil war so i think many ppl have simply forgotten or skipped over that part of tony’s timeline.

execute program is the 6-issue arc that comes right after extremis and it’s the main thing i tell everyone they have to read if they’re putting themselves thru the ringer that is 616′s civil war. it is so so important to understanding tony’s headspace and where he’s at before the events of civil war occur. 

READ EXECUTE PROGRAM. a) bc it’s absolutely crucial to tony’s side of civil war, b) the follow-through from the extremis arc is just… amazing, virtuosic. i really genuinely think it is a fascinating, excellently-written arc, c) when it gets gay it gets very gay. truST ME you do not need your shipper goggles for this at all bc guess which of the following things are canon: the sound of steve saying his voice being the only thing that snaps tony out of (likely a dissociative episode) trying to murder a villain that nearly kills peter, dyeing his hair blond when he’s going on the run, tony stopping his heart to save steve’s life. all of them !!! all canon !!!!!! 

extremis is, basically, terrifying. to the average human being, hell even the average superhuman. it’s p much unfathomable the sheer level/magnitude/scope of extremis. extremis allows tony to access and control any piece of technology on earth and even in earth’s atmosphere, he can hear satellites. it’s like having the singularity as a superpower. 

so part 1, iron man vol. 4 #7 (2006), opening issue and we have tony stopping a villain with lethal force, all while counting down the milliseconds and bidding on priceless artefacts.

now, avengers don’t kill. and tony doesn’t, he stops the man’s heart, then restarts it, basically performing defibrillation. 

and then we get this conversation: 

and after tony jets off leaving the new avengers to sort out the aftermath, we get this disturbing reminder:

a proper reread might prove me wrong but i don’t think the writers ever clarify whether this transformation in tony’s personality is due to extremis or outside manipulation (which is the culmination of execute program’s arc as i’ll go into in a bit). but when your brain is literally a machine and you Have Become more machine than human, this is the natural progression of tony’s humanity – the aspects of compassion, empathy, etc. – fading into the background to accomodate for extremis. 

extremis brings out everything about tony that steve (and possibly the world) fears most. it makes him cold and calculating, and with a brain like tony stark’s elevated by the superhuman capacity to think and react at the speed of a machine, he’s unstopppable.

part 2, iron man vol. 4 #8, we have tony nearly straight up burning a man alive for almost killing peter and laughing about it. 

he’s so deep in Destroy Mode that he doesn’t even register steve’s warning, and here i think he acts entirely out of instinct –– like extremis is thinking for him rather than his brain prompting him to do this. 

extremis is also the cause of tension between tony and the newly-formed new avengers (one of my favorite line-ups!!), he almost gets into a fight with logan and jessica has to break them up. it turns out tony is missing time in his memory, which is extremely worrying for someone w/ his level of power…

what’s so fascinating about extremis, and why we have so much to thank warren ellis for (the writer of the extremis arc), is that it is the perfect and the most logical climax of the modern iron man story. tony’s worst villain, as we’ve known since the very beginning really, has never been anyone else but himself. and in the case of extremis, it’s a highly technologically advanced version of himself that can do and be everything he’s ever dreamed of being able to achieve vs. him. 

the question extremis asks is at what cost? at what cost does technological advancement, bleeding-edge breakthroughs, and the spirit of human innovation come at? how far would tony go to become the Ideal version of himself that he sees as superior in every way? what would he sacrifice for that?

extremis represents basically the pinnacle of sci-fi tech in iron man comics, it’s why even god awful superior iron man used a 3.0 version of it as the foundation for tony’s sins. it’s the farthest point he’s ever reached, and it’s also the lowest in terms of the damage and fallout that comes from it. because ofc, tony stark can’t have nice things like this, but also bc the hubris + nature of extremis allowing its host to play god can’t exist without there being negative consequences. really b ad consequences. 

huge respect to danial & charles knauf, the authors of execute program, too, because they find a way to perfectly bring the arc full circle as ellis did with his extremis. the central villain plot revolves around ho yinsen’s son. the kid hacks extremis and uses it to control tony, sending him to subconsciously assassinate a bunch of people on his kill list, i.e. a list of all the men involved in yinsen’s death. i mean like, HOLY SHIT, an iron man plot where a literal ghost from tony’s past – a direct victim of events tony was involved in, the son of the man that sacrificed his life so iron man could be born and so tony stark could live – shows up, weaponises tony’s own body + technology and uses him to murder people who are scheduled to participate in a peace summit despite the blood on their hands and the human cost of their involvement in the weapons industry.

DRAWING PARALLELS BETWEEN YINSEN’S LIFE’S WORK AND TONY’S LIKE DEATH AND DYING WOULD BE KINDER. again bc of my memory or even regardless due to constant retcons + reruns of the iron man origin story, i don’t know if it’s ever been explicitly stated before that yinsen also got into the weapons industry in order to get the funding necessary to support his other revolutionary work. but his son literally conflates yinsen with tony here, blending them into one + the same with that final panel and it becomes very obvious that at least a small part of him blames father for entering into weapons design. if he hadn’t, he might never have been captured by the the terrorist group that wanted him and tony to build them missiles. 

also, yinsen + villains involving yinsen are a recurring theme in iron man history but can we talk abt the fact that tony has never ever let himself forget the man bc jesus christ

yinsen’s kid is killed by a SHIELD sniper, activating the dead man’s switch and unleashing all the peackeeping units tony built that are now compromised. now, tony’s no jean grey or wanda maximoff but if this arc shows anything it’s not to underestimate him bc intentional or not (lmao) if he put his mind to it there’s literally no limit to the damage he could do. 

we see various heroes fighting off the peacekeeping units, and the new avengers are at the peace summit fighting a hulkbuster. 

and here it is people !!! the 23989485th time tony kills himself so steve can live. 

JUST. THE LOOK ON HIS FACE. AND THEN THIS ABSOLUTE LACK OF HESITATION:

so, yes. extremis was traumatising for pretty much every single person involved. steve has extremely good reasons for HATING extremis, even in the early stages or even if a fic is taking place before the events of execute program.

if you read the full arc, you’ll see tony running himself into the ground with his new abilities (world’s greatest multitasker can now multitask 192483958 things at once? ofc he’s going to use and abuse and exploit that), you see him spiralling and losing his grip on reality (mainly because he’s actually having dissociative episodes and losing time due to being remotely controlled to assassinate ppl but also bc of the Effect extremis is having on him). i brought up wanda and jean earlier as a casual reference but like, to put it in that kind of perspective, people just weren’t made to have this much power.

on a smaller scale, apart from eating up all of tony’s time and attention and mental health in a really bad way, it just Distances him from everyone. especially from the team. it’s Isolating, having this much going on in his brain and no one else in the world to fully understand it. 

and on steve’s side, you also have the fact that tony’s genius is both one of the things he loves and lowkey resents most about him. he has this deep-set anxiety about tony with all his brilliance and intelligence leaving him behind in the dust, or worse, laughing at him and how outdated and dim-witted he is in comparison. this is steve’s version of tony’s “i’m never going to be good enough for him”, a sentiment summed up in a quote from him as early as tales of suspense vol. 2 (1995): “yes, tony stark, a man of today and tomorrow is the man i’ll never be.” he’s so afraid of being abandoned + alienated by tony’s mind and the future that tony’s worked so tirelessly to build that might render him irrelevant. he’s scared of a future where he has no purpose, but more or just as importantly, he’s scared of becoming obsolete in tony’s life, of not being needed by tony anymore. one of the things that endeared him so much to tony, and which laid the foundations of their lifelong friendship, was the fact that from Day One (1), tony made him feel At Home. he never let him feel ashamed or isolated as The Man Out Of Time, he actively worked to make steve feel comfortable and to give him the things he needed to acclimatise and to fit himself into this brave new world. 

extremis undoes all of that. it propels tony so far and so fast into the future that it makes tony untouchable to steve. all of the ‘i can hear satellites’ stuff renders steve helpless and even more out of his depth than usual. it presses all of steve’s secret buttons and then some.

to sum this all up, and to finish my extra rambling abt tony bc u asked me about extremis and i couldn’t not finish with this:

here we have, ladies and gentlemen, everything u need to understand abt tony going into civil war. and it’s not on any of the official civil war fucking reading lists which really pisses me off because whether or not they did it on purpose the knaufs basically wrote all of execute program as the perfect precursor and characterisation groundwork for an antebellum tony stark. 

a tony stark who was just very recently manipulated against his will into assassinating people and causing a world-threatening incident that could have resulted in the deaths of thousands, including his own friends and teammates (and the love of his life), is a very different tony stark to the one ppl see in civil war #1.

what happens in stamford was an accident, too. no one meant for that to happen. tony knows first fucking hand what that means and what it feels like to carry that responsibility and guilt. his position in civil war supporting the SHRA is not only to protect the potential lives that could be lost in another stamford incident but also to protect superhumans and superheroes from ever being exploited against their will by villains to kill and hurt and destroy. 

superheroes are inherently susceptible to being used, it’s just part of the narrative convention –– a superhero is brainwashed or mind controlled or otherwise forced against their will to do something awful. and even if it’s not their fault there needs to be  accountability  for the victims. both the victims that suffer directly because of superhuman incidents but also the superheroes that become victims of ppl who abuse their powers. it’s abt protecting superheroes not just from civilians but from themselves. and if u’ve read a single comic u kno that this kinda shit happens way too often and way too easily.

sO YE S T hIS iS W HY. AND IT Ex PL AINS SO MUC H AND i j UST WISH P PL WOULD GODDAMN REA D THIS. LIKE EVERYONE WHO EVER WANTS TO SAY ANOTHER A GODDAMN THING ABOUT TONY STARK IN CIVIL WAR NEEDS TO FIRST READ EXECUTE PROGRAM FIRST OR PAY ME $10

anyway…………… one last time, i’m so so so sorry this took forever to get to. hope the wait was worth it!

[magichcuse]

Alroy...oh poor sweet Alroy...

He's been worn down by Walter A LOT, to the point where his Foley Fury rivals his sister and mother. He, like Dedrick, felt stuck between supporting his brother (who manipulated him into putting up with him much longer than he should have by gaslighting him and exploiting the effects of the Memory Spell from all those years ago). Only it hurts more because Walter is hurting people who are incredibly close to him—including his child niece. When Alroy explains everything to Dedrick, he tells him that he hates himself for being an idiot more than HE does at this point. Al obviously doesn't want Dedrick to completely close himself off again and assures him that no matter what happens with Walter, he will always have a place in the family. However, he wouldn't blame Dedrick for becoming a Loner again (though he would hate seeing Bre get so heartbroken over losing her Uncle Ricky). Alroy is still loving with his family, but Mr. Happy Sunshiny Idiot Alroy has been dead for years now, possibly even before Bre was born.

When Walter has finally struck Alroy's last nerve (probably by being a prick to Bre, goodness forbid Walt act openly cruel to her), he SNAPS. Everything that he's been holding back all of those years, all of the secrets Walter manipulated him into not telling Franklin and Delilah (not explicitly at least), EVERYTHING just comes spilling out. He's sparking with magic as he gives Walter a verbal beatdown of a lifetime, saying things that he'll regret in the process. He doesn't sugarcoat ANYTHING. By the time he's done, his magic is so out of control that he BLASTS Walter with pure magic...something he hasn't done since that blurry memory that made him swear off magic for the longest time.Alroy feels like a FAILURE. He's supposed to be the one everyone else can rely on, someone who could be trusted to be 100% honest...but he knew about Walter's tampering since the first egg went cold and he kept it from his precious little sister and his closest friend. He lowkey expects Delilah and Franklin to disown him too, despite the fact that he would have told it to them ASAP if it weren't for Walter. If it weren't for the hidden camera Al keeps on him, it would have never come out...Walter wasn't above manipulating Al's mind and conveniently erasing things from his memory that could be problematic.

Walter's manipulation becomes even clearer once Bre had her falling out with her "uncle". She'd even share her own memories with her Uncle Al so he could see that he's not losing it, that someone else remembers things the way HE did, that the tapes from his hidden camera were genuine. They've become closer than they already had been (which is already pretty close) and Alroy is on the same level as her parents. She'd trust him with ANYTHING because she knows he won't judge her or overreact like her parents might (especially when she's at her Lowest Low).

If Delilah and Franklin somehow did get upset enough to cut Alroy out (which Franklin wouldn't ever do), it'd mess with Bre so badly. Alroy kept her sane as much as she helped him. Without that person to vent to about things she REALLY wants to keep from her parents, she might just completely give up at that point. :'D

As for The Room, Alroy and Franklin both try to reassure her that everyone grieves differently and it's perfectly understandable that she wouldn't want to be reminded of the eggs she lost.

Frankie feels bad about having a room that is hurting his wife, but he feels trapped because he doesn't know what else he could do with the eggs that would still be respectful to them. He doesn't want her to have to sacrifice her wellbeing for him over something as painful to her as the lost eggs were.

Aaaaa...

I can see a situation where Bre comes home from school early and she hears her mother crying in the bathroom...and she's just frozen in front of the door, very distressed that The Strongest Person in Existence is breaking down in the bathroom and wanting to comfort her mom so badly...but feels like she can't because she knows her mother is hiding for a reason and she doesn't want to advertise that she's skipping school (even when she's so beaten that it'd be foolish for her to stay for the rest of the day). Bre would be hugging her knees and having a good cry herself while leaning on the wall next to the bathroom door.

Someone who probably could use the comfort is Patrick. He thought that his surrogate son wasn't anything like Vivian, that he was actually on the cusp of being a Good Person...but hearing about the awful things he's done and seeing how much it's affecting Dedrick makes him feel absolutely sick. Ngl, Walter is even reminding Pat of Kathleen—who still is a big trigger for him and whose actions scarred him badly. The person who killed the sweet little angel of pure joy he used to be. Patrick wants nothing to do with Walter and starts questioning whether his bond with Walter was genuine or if he was being manipulated the whole time. He'd feel AWFUL.

Oh! Bre and Franklin are both overjoyed that the Speciest Sexist Prick is out of their lives, though it feels surreal to not be berated by him anymore. The effects of his words don't leave with him though, ESPECIALLY not Bre. She might have been able to deal with her treatment at school better if her whole family was caring and supportive...but Walter was proof that it wasn't just her peers...that her family might see her the way they do. Because of him, it might take Bre a while to even stop feeling anxiety when her mother is in sight because he warped her image of Delilah so badly. She still thinks she ruined her mother's life long after Walter has been cut off and Alroy blames himself for all of the trauma Walt caused her.I think I've gotten everything out now!!

Walter definitely threatened to erase Alroy's memories completely if he squealed to anyone after Al caught onto his manipulation. He can't even tell ANYONE that his memories are being used as leverage against him bc that would be enough to get them wiped. Eventually, Alroy is so tired of everything Walter's doing that he stops caring about any threats he makes. Besides, he's not going to let anything happen to his entire memory without putting up a hell of a fight first.

Franklin didn't have the best foresight and put The Room directly across Bre's room (since Bre's room is where they had kept all of the previous eggs, it's a symbolic thing that Frankie thinks was a stupid decision looking back on it). Delilah would have to be in Close Proximity to The Room if she wanted to go to her daughter's room for any reason. Considering Bre spends A LOT of time in her room (especially to hide from Delilah)...sorry, Delilah.