#and it's in a class very tied to my academic interests

[astriiformes]

I've been feeling myself getting a little burnt out as the semester gets closer to finishing up -- though still not nearly as much as like, every other semester, which is kind of incredible -- but today we got our midterms back for my art & science history class and I'm pretty sure I got the highest score in the course, despite my professor saying a lot of people struggled more than he expected?

In any case, it's making me feel a little like I am maybe not so terrible at this whole school thing. It's nice to be reminded I have some real strengths, even when other classes are giving me a harder time.

[drunk-person]

Study Session

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x classmate!reader

Summary: Aemond is assigned to a college work with Y/n, an absent-minded art student who doesn't give a damn about philosophy. Things don't go well since she doesn't help him at all, until the two come to an unorthodox agreement that ends the impasse.

WARNING: 18+ mdni! secret crush, semi-nudity, voyeurism, breast fetish, exchange of academic favors for "sex", modern au, no description for reader.

Word cont: 3.200k

Author's note: This just came to my mind while doing some really boring work and I ended up writing it. The Rosby house is close to Kings Landing so I chose this surname for the reader, I hope you like it.

Dedicated to the poor readers of The Gossip who read chapter 7 and are in need of some comfort for their souls after all that mess hahaha I love you all! English is not my first language 💕💕🥰

Y/n was so frustrated. That class was absolutely hellish and if it wasn't mandatory in her schedule she would certainly never even pass in front of the door. The only reasonable side to all of this was the fact that Aemond Targaryen sat in front of her during this unbearable class. He could be as arrogant as he wanted if he continued to be so hot.

The girl bit her lip as she stared at the back of his pale neck that was exposed to her eyes since his long silver hair was tied in a bun due to the heat wave. The two had never exchanged more than a few words, but Y/n couldn't help it, he was too handsome and intelligent for his own good.

She didn't know how he could understand that subject and answer all the questions the teacher asked as if they were obvious to him. Y/n did her best to hide her crush, but whenever no one was looking she couldn't help but sigh lightly as she looked at him.

She was barely in the same reality as the rest of the class when she heard her name being called harshly by the professor, pulling her out of her deep thoughts and back to real life.

-I'm sorry, professor, I was distracted. - She looked down, blushing when she realized that the whole class was looking at her while letting out light giggles.

-Which seems to be a very common occurrence with you, doesn't it? - The man spoke in an irritated voice and Y/n felt her face heat up even more.

-If you're interested in knowing, Miss Rosby, we're holding a draw for pairs of work for the semester. - The professor was still looking at Y/n as he spoke and reaching into the jar, he pulled out a new piece of paper.

-Aemond Targaryen.

Y/n felt her heart stop momentarily when she heard that name. Would her semester partner be Aemond Targaryen? The gods must have wanted to play with her.

-Good luck, Mr Targaryen, you will need it. - The man said, making the whole class laugh, except for Aemond, who, without Y/n noticing, glared at the teacher when he heard the mean joke.

After the class ended, the room gradually emptied, while the few remaining students put their books and notebooks in their backpacks. Aemond finished writing some notes in his notebook under the watchful eye of Y/n, who was anxiously waiting to talk to him.

And when he turned towards her with that serious look and that sculpted face, Y/n smiled and pretended to be disinterested.

-I don't understand half of what that man says. - She shrugged, staring at him while Aemond frowned. - I hope it won't be a problem for you to be my partner.

-Maybe you would understand if you spent more time paying attention in class and less time drawing. - Aemond rolled his good eye, putting away his own books while Y/n felt her belly heat up.

How did he know she was drawing in class if he had his back to her the whole time?

-I don't like studying boring things that guys who died centuries ago said and that don't make any sense.

-But do you like studying works that boring guys who died centuries ago painted and that don't make any sense? - He raised his eyebrows ironically, looking at her and Y/n's mouth slightly opened, not knowing what to say.

-That… That's not the point.

-Mmmm… if you say so. - The irony was poignant in his voice and expression and Y/n slightly narrowed her eyes, feeling the urge to argue more without knowing what to answer.

-They… They're not meaningless! - She snorted in annoyance and Aemond just let out a nasal laugh while raising his eyebrows.

-Most of them are just a bunch of meaningless scribbles. - He rolled his eyes, putting his backpack on his back.

-The name is surrealism, and perhaps underdeveloped minds don't understand it very well! - Y/n lifted her chin, pulled her own bag onto her shoulder and pressed the sketchbook against her chest, leaving before Aemond, leaving him with a mischievous smile on his lips as he watched her leave.

Y/n rolled her eyes, irritated with herself as she walked towards the open courtyard of the college, sitting at a stone table and throwing her bag on it, seriously considering diverting her idiotic crush on Aemond Targaryen to another guy.

Unfortunately for her, at the same moment the thought crossed her mind, his soft voice called her from behind and the hairs on the back of the girl's neck stood on end at the same moment, making her snort.

-We need to decide where and when we're going to meet to start the work. - He murmured and Y/n turned to look at him, snorting when she saw that he looked even more attractive with the sunlight shining through his silver hair.

In the natural light, the prosthetic eye was more visible than indoors, as was the thin scar that ran from the eye to the forehead and cheek. Y/n didn't give a shit, she just thought he looked even hotter if that was possible.

-Rosby? - Aemond called her, his voice miles away from taking her out of her self-imposed trance.

-I'm sorry, I got a bit distracted. - She shook her head, trying to focus on the conversation, and Aemond turned his face to the side, smiling discreetly at the action. - What did you say?

-We'll meet to start work.

-Oh, yes, yes. - She nodded thoughtfully. - How about the library?

-I don't study in the library, there are always idiots who go there to make a mess and interfere with concentration. - Aemond rolled his eyes with a frown, making her rack her brain to remember if she had ever messed up in the library.

-Yeah. They're all idiots! - She agreed, rolling her eyes when she came to the conclusion that she hadn't done anything wrong in the college library.

-We can go to my dorm. - Y/n shrugged, trying to be casual. - But my roommate is always there and never turns off the TV.

-Don't you have your own room? - He looked at her confused and Y/n laughed.

-Not all of us can own the campus. - She grimaced and Aemond rolled his eyes.

-Your family has money too.

-Having money is different from being a filthy rich Targaryen. - She grumbled as she gestured lightly with her hands, arching her eyebrows, and Aemond didn't contest her.

-Whatever, let's meet in my dorm, it's empty there and no one will disturb us.

Y/n nodded, subtly biting her lower lip at the idea that she would go to Aemond's room.

-Where is it? - She came back to reality, remembering to ask, and asking her for a pen, Aemond wrote down the number and the floor on the last page of the sketchbook that was on the table.

-See you on Friday. - He murmured, turning around and leaving her as soon as he finished writing, making her sigh once more at hearing that voice so close to her.

♤♡

Y/n did her best to look beautiful in the most disinterested way possible. Just a gray blouse with black denim shorts and a thin black coat on top, her hair tied with a simple clip and just a bit of lipstick. It was almost how she looked every day, except for the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra, but with the coat on top he probably wouldn't even notice that fact.

Apart from the fact that when she got there she discovered that they were fixing the cooling system in Aemond's building and now she was without the coat and wearing only the thin blouse, attracting Aemond's discreet glance at her from time to time.

The two spread their materials across the table in the living room connected to the bedroom and sat on the floor to study. Unfortunately, Aemond was having more trouble concentrating in his own room than in the library, with the sight of Y/n in that blouse in front of him, scribbling drawings on her philosophy book while pretending to read something.

When he finally managed to read a few words, he could hear her melodious laughter from the other side of the table.

-What is it? - He murmured almost in a growl making her become serious.

-It's just that I'm watching and I think my shared dorm room would fit inside yours.- She shrugged and Aemond rolled his eyes without giving a verbal response.

Minutes later, when he went back to reading focused and taking some important notes, her voice rang out once again, distracting him.

-I'm so lazy. - Y/n threw herself onto the philosophy books open on the coffee table in Aemond's dorm room, and he slightly arched his eyebrows.

-You haven't done anything so far. - He grumbled as he took note of an important quote that he would probably use in the future during the work.

-Because this subject is totally boring. - The girl mumbled with her head still lying on the books but now with her face turned towards Aemond looking at him while slowly blinking her eyes feeling a little sleepy. Until now, nothing interesting had happened outside of her imagination.

-Boredom or not, I think it's better to start working on your part, because there's no way I'm going to give you credit for something you didn't do. - Aemond looked at her very seriously while Y/n sulked, crossing her arms under her breasts, slightly drawing the older man's attention there again.

-Are you always this boring, Targaryen? - Y/n snorted, making one of the loose strands of hair fly out of her pretty face.

-This isn't boring, this is justice. - His eyes were still discreetly fixed on the subtle neckline of the gray blouse that Y/n was wearing, except that now she noticed it, feeling her stomach tingle with the idea that Aemond Targaryen was looking at her.

-Talking about justice and being a total pervert. - She slightly pressed her eyes to him while tightening her arms under her breasts, making them more prominent, making Aemond cough with a subtle choke, looking away.

-Mmmm, I wasn't looking at your breasts. - He grunted looking in another direction.

-Ah, you certainly were. - She arched her eyebrows laughing. - If you want to know, women always know when you're looking.

-What's that? A weird sixth sense? - Aemond raised his eyebrows in disbelief, still a little embarrassed for having been caught.

-Something like that. - Y/n shrugged with a slight grimace, but then an idea popped into her head making her subtly bite her lower lip, staring at him as she gathered her courage.

-How about we make a deal? - Y/n was still biting her lower lip without believing she was actually going to say that to him.

-What kind of deal? - Aemond tilted his forehead, confused but interested, while his eyes inadvertently fell once again on her breasts.

-I'll let you be a perv and look at my boobs, and you do my part in this stupid job. - She suggested, slowly poking the hem of her own thin blouse under the attentive gaze of Aemond, who felt his own mouth drying up.

-Mmmm. - He mocked her with an ironic smile. - No deal. This work is almost 30 pages long, I want to at least be able to touch them.

-What? - She narrowed her eyes slightly while arching her right eyebrow now, not believing what he was saying.

-That's right, and you'll be topless while i writing the work. It's that or nothing. - He smiled maliciously as he arched his eyebrows, waiting for her answer, being almost certain that she would give up on the idea.

-Gods, you're more perv than I thought. - She grumbled, staring at him with a frown as she tried to process the fact that Aemond Targaryen really had asked to touch her boobs.

-Do we have a deal? - Aemond asked, still with a dirty smile on his face, and Y/n rolled her eyes at him, mumbling something to herself, unable to call him an idiot since she had given him the idea.

-We have a deal. - She spoke firmly, feeling soft shivers down her thighs as she said this, making Aemond subtly widen his eyes in shock at her accepting. - But… I don't want to read a single sentence about this subject, I don't want to know about these idiot philosophers and much less about their silly theories.

-These aren't silly theories… - Aemond rolled his eyes condescendingly at the girl's lack of understanding on such an important subject, it almost affected the crush he had on her… almost.

-Ah. - She cut him off instantly. - I don't want to know. Deal?

-Deal. - He grimaced in slight disgust, if she weren't so hot it wouldn't be worth all the effort, Aemond thought rolling his eyes.

With a sigh Y/n pulled the gray blouse of thin fabric over her head leaving her bare breasts exposed to Aemond's hungry and raw gaze that made her skin crawl almost instantly.

The moment she took off her blouse, Aemond took away his previous thought. She was certainly worth the effort and he would definitely do a thousand jobs like that just to take a look at those breasts.

Feeling confident under his gaze Y/n sat on the two-seater sofa and once again crossed her arms under her now bare breasts while looking at him with one of her eyebrows raised.

Taking a deep breath, Aemond sat down next to her, staring at that beautiful pair of breasts that he could say for sure were the most beautiful he had ever laid eyes on in his life.

-Can I? - He reached out his hands to her breasts, but stopped just before touching them, wanting her to be one hundred percent sure of what she was doing. And when the girl nodded positively while biting her lower lip and subtly pressing her legs together, he touched his palms, feeling her soft breasts and almost moaning at the soft sensation.

Little by little he moved his hands while looking at her with a very serious look, and with the tips of his thin fingers he began to massage her erect nipples with increasing dedication, observing the responses her body gave him. Every soft tremor, every subtle gasp, every press and rub of her thighs against each other.

-They're perfect. - He praised softly as he stimulated them, eliciting a soft moan from Y/n who bent down even more offering her own breasts to Aemond.

She was lost in his touches, so gentle yet so demanding. No one had ever given her so much pleasure just by touching her breasts, and Y/n wanted to moan with pleasure but was holding herself back so as not to seem so given. She pressed her eyes tightly, feeling the shocks of pleasure running through her body and going straight down to her completely soaked pussy.

Suddenly, with her eyes still closed, Y/n felt Aemond's warm breath close to her skin, and opened her eyes at the same moment, looking at him.

-What are you doing? - She gasped, looking directly into that blue eye that had left her fascinated since the first time she saw it and that now looking so closely she thought it contained some violet reflections.

-I said I wanted to touch, you didn't specify just using of hands. - He murmured dirtyly, lowering his mouth over Y/n's breasts and sucking deeply on her excited nipple, which curved her back against the couch, finally moaning loudly in pure contentment.

-Oh Aemond please more. - She whimpered, writhing and pressing her thighs together. - So good... so good.

From that moment on, it was impossible for her to contain her own moans, his mouth felt so incredible against her already sensitive nipples. With each suction she trembled and tightened her thighs while gripping the sofa tightly, almost digging her nails into the upholstery.

-By the gods, you have the tastiest tits I've ever tasted in my life. - Aemond moaned between the hungry sucks and firm, desperate caresses, sending a new wave of pleasure over her as she heard those words. And without control over her own body, Y/n put her hands in Aemond's hair, tangling her fingers there and holding her head against herself as she moaned his name in despair.

Her pulling on his hair did something almost wild to Aemond, he usually didn't like it when people pulled his hair, but at that moment… Fuck, it really felt good. And when she started moaning his name in a completely lacking way while rubbing her pussy on the couch like a desperate bitch in heat, he felt himself on the edge.

While he sucked and licked her left nipple, caressing the right one with his hand, drawing waves and waves of pleasure from her, he guided his vacant hand inside the gray sweatpants he was wearing and finally paid attention to his cock, which was leaking and making a mess against the fabric of his boxers.

He violently fucked his cock against the left hand while still inside his pants while inevitably moaning against Y/n's nipple, making her rub even harder against the sofa.

-Aemond. - Came Y/n's broken voice in a moan that was almost a whimper as she shuddered without control over her own body, writhing on the couch, feeling the unbridled pleasure of the orgasm taking over her.

And hearing her beg for his name as she writhed in the midst of orgasm, Aemond reached his own peak of pleasure, spurting against his own hand in thick, strong jets, moaning with contentment against Y/n's sensitive, reddened nipples.

The two remained motionless for a few moments, just trying to regain their senses completely taken over by the debilitating pleasure. Y/n's mind went completely blank as she laid her head on the back of the sofa, still panting, completely shocked since she had never cum just by stimulating her nipples. And Aemond, in turn, tried to regain his composure with his head still buried between his classmate's delicious breasts.

And when he finally raised his head, he couldn't resist the temptation to suck her nipple once more, making her gasp with overstimulation.

-Oh, Aemond. - She sighed complainingly, lightly pushing his head away with the palm of her right hand. - They're sensitive.

-Mmmm. - He murmured caressing her naked waist. -I could suck your tits for hours if you let me.

-I could let you. - She gasped, pretending to be uncertain about the subject even though she was still sensitive to his touch, feeling the inside of her thighs tingling amid the scandalous moisture in her panties.

-Well, it's 30 pages. - He shrugged, moving his caresses up and down her waist. - And as far as I know, the pairs that Hayford assigned are until the end of the semester.

-We'll have plenty of time. - He kissed her nipple once more, making her sigh.

[wonder-mei]

His greatest achievement (Honkai:Star Rail’s Dr Veritas Ratio)

失眠者苍 on Weibo

Reminder : I do not write accurately to the lore of the world I am writing. I write whenever there’s an idea

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

“Hey, who gave you those roses?” her friend asked curiously as her eyes focuses on the bouquet of red roses wrapped beautifully with cream and dark brown, and tied in cream bow

“Oh, Veritas gave them to me. Beautiful aren't they?” she takes a sniff and shows the bouquet to her friends “They are fresh picked too” 

Her friends looked at each other with confused expressions. Doctor Veritas Ratio, one of the geniuses of all mankind. Knowledgeable in many academic fields, not only does he have the brain, he also has achieved a lot of achievements since he was young, surpassing every professor that is decades older. Despite his intellect, Ratio is well-known for being very egotistical and arrogant. Not one of his students ever disagrees with his lecturers or confronts the grades he gave. Because he knows he is RIGHT. Even other professors or staff do not want to mess with him. 

But her. She is one of the odds. Ratio never does all of those to her. He is calm and gentle whenever she is around. There were students making a study on this privately as to why she is an exception to his egotistical and arrogant. 

And the conclusion is; he is in love with her. 

But she is oblivious to this fact. 

“Why did Dr Ratio give you roses?” 

“Oh he said his roses are overgrown so he gave me them” 

“Only you?”

“Yeah, he said he does not have more to give to others” 

“Also wrapped perfectly” 

“He just wants to use this wrapper he bought. Don’t want to waste”

Each question regarding Ratio’s gifts she would answer them giving reasons as to why he does that but none of them because he loves her after countless of gifts he gave her. From carving a few sets of her favorite animals, buying her books and so more. 

“Don’t you think he has a reason for giving you gifts?”

“Not at all. We share an office so it’s normal for officemates to give each other gifts,right?”

Her friends didn’t answer. They just stare at her “Well I have to go. My worms need some feeding” 

How could a botanist be paired to share an office with the man of every knowledge in this world? It is fate. Ratio was irritated at first for having an officemate that involves themselves around plants and soil but something about her made him forget his emotions and expectations on her. It all started on that specific day…

“What are you doing?”

“Oh Ratio! You are early today” she greets him with a smile “These are my worms. I’m building a worm farm”

Ratio scowls watching the containers with dirt and few visible worms in the soil “Why are you even doing these dirty projects?”

“Everything! Worms can compose,fertilize and are eco-friendly. Can’t really depend on technology for the compose and chemical for the foods we eat,right? It is time for us to have this old tradition in our daily life” 

Ratio just stood there taking her every word into deep analysis. There are already machines for everything. And they make lives easier. Who wants to do the traditional way when it's easier for that. This intrigues him. She piqued his interest. Since then, Ratio would watch her doing her odds stuff. She used all natural color for paints, learned how to speak to birds and so many odd things he can even comprehend. But, he never intervenes or corrects her ways. Her ways are too unique to stop her from doing so. 

 “Have you seen Ratio?” she asked one of his students when she saw them walking in the same hallway

“Dr Ratio? Nope. He dismissed today class 20 minutes early” 

Strange. Ratio always uses the class time duration strictly. Starts when it starts and ends when it ends. He wasn't in their office,maybe he is in his art studio located not far from the university building. She heads to the art studio still holding the bouquet, catching everyone’s attention for how beautiful the roses are. 

“Veritas?” She calls his name as she enters the building. No answers. The room was cloaked in shadows, the faint glow of twilight seeping through the half-closed window curtain but the sun shunned a tall figure covered in cloth shielding it to cause curiosity to whoever sees this. She was so inquisitive about the mysterious figure behind it,she pulled down the cloth with a swift. 

As the cloth was pulled down, it revealed a beautifully carved sculpture. She stands near to it gazing at every carving trying to make out who is that. Every inch of the figure registered into her mind, every feature is hers. From the hair,eyes,nose,everything even the moles and scars. The person accurately carved her. In this piece, she is wearing a simple one piece dress and a veil. She is sitting on the ground with the texture of grass and soil. There are few birds she recognizes that she studied for communication studies. Next to the sculpture, there’s a note. It says;

She and i has no contrast,

She is the sun and moon,

Whilst i witness her beauty day and night,

From every beauty exist,

I willingly sit to see her only. 

Too mesmerized by the art. She was startled when someone called her name “Veritas…”. They were too close. Her back flushes on his chest heading tilting up staring into his eyes “What is this?”

Ratio stares into her eyes for a minute “The carving of my beloved” 

“What does that mean?”

The question that would frequently irritate Ratio but from her, nothing can make him get irritated by her “I have achieved and invented something that has given me praises and is well-known for it. But my greatest achievement is falling for you and only us know how my heart yearns for yours. I tried to imitate you in that sculpture but that beauty only you can have” 

There it is. No ridiculous reasons for giving her gifts. Ratio confessed his love that he has kept for awhile. He too made a deep depth as to why she can get away any irks he dislikes and why her presence makes his day brighter. It all because

“My love for you is never-ending like the universe” 

For now,she does not need to think of oblivious reasons as to why Ratio has gifted her gifts especially when it comes to the question of the sculpture of hers. Why? Because he loves her. 

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

kinda cringed a lil

[vasito-de-leche]

hi hello!!! I’ve been reading your Horropedia stuff and oh my goD the way you write him fills my itty bitty heart with glee- would it be alright if I asked for a character analysis on him? I’d love to hear your thoughts on him!! ༄⋆｡˚✵ ໒꒰ྀི ⸝⸝´ ꒳ `⸝⸝ ꒱ྀི১

;R1999 HORROPEDIA - General Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis on Horropedia as a character and other related things.

TYSM! I'm very happy that you like my horropi posts! my horroposting!!

I don't know much about the horror genre or horror culture because I get scared very very easily so I don't watch many horror movies, but I'll do my best to deliver a good analysis of our boy o7

On the subject of horror, ableism and neurodivergency.

It goes without saying that Horropedia's character revolves around the horror genre. In this bullet point, I'm not aiming to list every single reference to movies or horror culture, but to tackle his relationship with it and how it gives further context into his personality--as well as how his heavily implied neurodivergency is meant to bring focus into the ableist ideals and practices within the St. Pavlov Foundation.

The very first part of Horropedia's storyboard and his 01 Story explains the origin for his love of horror AND affinity for tinkering with technology: his adoptive grandfather, described as a failed researcher and forgotten horror novelist.

In these excerpts, it is VERY clear that Horropedia and his grandfather loved each other despite the poor living conditions. This aspect of community and family, as well as a strong sense of self and individuality is very important, because it goes against EVERYTHING that the Foundation stands for.

Compare the "role models" of the Foundation with the "troublemakers"--on one hand, we have Sonetto and Matilda. On the other, we have Vertin and Horropedia. All four act as parallels and foils of each other in this aspect. I think everyone is more familiar with Sonetto and Vertin, so I'll begin with them to make this whole tangent easier to digest!

Both characters are direct opposites of each other, but their origins are similar: neither of them has any sort of strong ties to the outside world. Sonetto does not know about her biological family. Vertin was the youngest arcanist to join the Foundation, and vaguely remembers her mother. The key difference is that Sonetto hasn't shown any interest in finding about her biological family, adapting perfectly to the model that the Foundation aims to instill into their students--whereas Vertin's character focuses a lot on loneliness, on finding a community. Because Sonetto lacks this support, this solid ground in which she could cultivate her own identity separate to her martyr and obedient dog role, she's considered the best of the best. And because Vertin keeps stepping out of these ideals and strict guidelines, clinging onto her own sense of self and individuality, she's considered a troublemaker.

Now, let's focus on Matilda and Horropedia. Unlike the previous examples, these two HAVE families outside of the Foundation--which are a very important part of their lives--and it's implied that both of them chose to join the Foundation, unlike Sonetto and Vertin who had no choice.

We already discussed Horropedia's grandfather. When it comes to Matilda, it's stated in one of her Stories that the only way for her busy parents to show affection and give her the time of day is through academic success, which explains why she's so hellbent on being the best. Family is very important to both of these characters. Both of these characters also suffer within the Foundation because they have strong identities and lives that the Foundation does not agree with. In Chapter 03 "Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien," the very first stage shows the way Matilda, the newest student in class, is immediately put down by the rest of the class.

In this context, Matilda is being cast aside and ridiculed because her knowledge (of arcanist origin, coming directly from her grandfather) and her inability to give proof (note how mankind considers knowledge discovered or passed down between arcanists as "inferior," as seen in 1.3 "Journey to Mor Pankh", because they cannot verify it themselves).

How does this relate to Horropedia?

Well. The second part of his Storyboard shows the connection I'm trying to make.

Horropedia went through a similar experience. Both he and Matilda were ostracized by their peers because they didn't neatly fit in within the perfect model of a Foundation arcanist. We even see that he had to abandon his love for horror, instead "blending into the quiet campus." Their uniqueness, their history was slowly washed away.

So what is the difference between the two? How are they parallels and foils of each other? The difference is that Matilda, like Sonetto, was assimilated into the Foundation's ideals, whereas Horropedia was able to break free and retain his sense of self. The things he loved, the things that made him himself.

His Monologue voice line expresses this sentiment perfectly:

We all experienced the past where we were denied, distressed, and lost. That beautiful building, the white cradle, cut off all the "inconsistent" parts from us, in order to shape us into a "better" self … All in all, I am relieved that I am still me, and you are still you.

We see time and time again throughout the main story and sprinkled throughout other events, the Foundation is an organization that advocates for order and peace--something that they believe can only be achieved through the assimilation (or taming) of arcanists. They are written in a very specific way that shows how oppressive they can be to every single minority, not just related to neurodivergency. It's intersectional oppression.

It's just like horror.

Horror as a genre has an undeniable connection with communities such as POC, LGTBQ+ or neurodivergent and disabled people. Or just women in general! These groups have been demonized in one way or another in these movies. At some point, we have seen caricatures of people like us used to scare the masses.

...And in some cases, we've reclaimed certain aspects of it. Take one of the latest movies for example, "Lisa Frankenstein", or an older piece of media such as "Carmilla," a book that might be the origin of the predatory lesbian stereotype.

To me, it makes a LOT of sense that a character so heavily coded to be autistic or neurodivergent has a hyperfixation as loaded as horror. Fundamentally, Joshua and horror should not go together--because his Medium is "Logic," which contradicts the whole nonsensical and fantastical aspect of the horror genre. This is the subject of his interview with Pandora Wilson, actually!

In here, he explains how horror has its own set of rules and guidelines, a "rigorous internal logic" as he puts it, which allows anyone to survive--as long as they understand how horror movies work. We see this aspect of him in action during the 1.2 event, many many times! We see the way he interprets it, how it relates to his way of thinking and his life, how he embodies horror as part of his life--it's in his chosen nickname, Horropedia--it all falls into place rather nicely!

Horror can only make sense if you take the time to study the laws that govern it, when you pay attention to the details.

A lot of the discussion surrounding Horropedia is obviously about his hyperfixation with horror, how he would act in a slasher movie, if he would make fun of certain tropes and this and that... Which is fair! That IS the whole point of his character!

But I hope I was able to emphasize just how meaningful his connection to the genre is. It goes beyond a classic hyperfixation that could wear off in the future. Just note the description for his i2 Garment "Screamism":

A little monster under the sheets and a steadfast guardian of the heart.

Details and things I had no idea where to fit in that first bullet point.

I hope these analysis and this entire blog gave away the fact that I'm also extremely neurodivergent and my special interest is overanalyzing things to an insane degree. These are the details that I HAVE to share with others or I'll explode, but I don't know where exactly fit them in the previous bullet point.

Related to this whole discussion about horror, ableism and neurodivergency. Horropedia's Night voice line mentions "The Man in the Frame."

Fine. I've always considered "The Man in the Frame" to be a conventional horror story. But when I myself stay in a frame … I finally realized it's really horrific.

I discussed this voice line with some people and some interpret this as a reference to the way characters in the main screen can turn into paintings. However, I believe this is a reference to the neat, little mold that the Foundation and the School of Discipline insist on using to raise their arcanists.

"The Man in the Frame" is a Russian animated short by Fyodor Khitruk, which you can actually watch here on Youtube--it's only 10 minutes and it's very interesting! I actually watched it to understand what Horropedia was referring to.

For those who don't have time for it, the short follows a man living within a frame and the different phases of his life. At first, it's a simple rectangle, four black lines caging him--when he falls in love, he gets out of this frame, but returns to it. Each phase shows him slowly working to "better" his frame, so it's more elaborate and ornate like those coworkers with higher positions. Until he refuses to step out of this frame, now at the top, even turning a blind eye to the suffering of others who ask for help, ordering everything to be put within more and more frames, his own becoming more and more claustrophobic until there's nothing left of him.

Of course Horropedia finds this story terrifying now that he understands what it's like to be suffocated by conventional and strict rules.

In this same vein, I want to talk about the fact that every character (except Tooth Fairy, since we don't know her real first name) in the 1.2 update has a name that starts with J--Jennifer, Jessica and Joshua.

Horropedia's name is said to reference a movie named "Joshua" from 2007. I'm not going to watch this movie because its premise sounds scary to me and I would like to sleep tonight, BUT the poster for this movie is relevant to the discussion of "The Man in the Frame".

If someone has seen this movie and would like to add their two cents about it and how it might relate to Horropedia, please, by all means! I would love to hear what you have to say!

Next thing I couldn't fit in: Horropedia's items.

A character's items are meant to give us a little more insight into their lives and important aspects that the game wants to highlight about them. If you've read my previous analysis of Dikke and Tennant, then you know what I'm taking about. One of Horropedia's item stands out to me.

His glasses allude to his fanatism and devotion to his interests. His gadget set alludes to his logical side and intellect, the technology that his grandfather taught him. But what about the green tie clip? There is nothing outstanding nor worth noting about this clip, other than the fact that it's green.

Why does it matter that it's green? Because green is Horropedia's color.

It is the main representative color in his design, the one that pops up the most in his i2 Garment and sprites, the color of his shirt and monster slippers, the color of slime and ooze from horror movie's practical effects, the color of the entire 1.2 event. It is the color that, in this case, represents the aspect of horror.

It's the color you see once you understand Horropedia more (by raising his level and insight) and the color that is subdued and hidden by default in his regular sprite, only seen in very specific areas as shown below.

Perhaps this is an extrapolation on my part, I'm willing to accept that if it's ever confirmed, but with the amount of detail given to each character and their items, I think it makes sense for this simple, green tie clip to mean much more than "oh hey, Horropedia wears tie clips!" the same way Tennant's third item is a direct display of how much New Delhi meant to her despite the lies she tells in her voice lines.

Note the first phrase Pandora Wilson uses to describe this item: "A green line cuts through a black-and-white checkered world." To me, this alludes to Horropedia being an outlier within the Foundation, as someone who fought the system and remained true to himself despite everything.

He is the green line that cuts through this checkered world, everyone knows him and his eccentric nature, he fully embraces his status as a problem child and even gives Jessica tips on how to avoid being brainwashed by the School of Discipline in her own event.

The next and final part of this bullet point is more of a personal observation?

I've seen a lot of people focus on the fact that Horropedia would poke fun at every single horror trope because "they're too predictable" and I feel like this is not quite right? Yes, he plays the role of That One Guy who is very aware of the sort of movie he's in, who serves mostly to explain horror tropes to the audience and be self-aware or joke about how certain aspects make no sense when we think logically (outside of the context of horror) about them. But we also see how serious and eager he is during the whole 1.2 event. And tropes exist because they work, because they are part of the formula in each genre. Being able to spot a trope does not mean that the media you're consuming is bad, it's just something that you were able to pick up on because it's part of the genre.

From my understanding, shock value and surprises are part of horror. That's why we have these twists at the end, like the reveal of a killer who survived being killed by the protagonists. Yes, Horropedia DOES mention that jumpscares are outdated, but we understand jumpscares as a cheap and fast way to scare people by catching them off guard, like Five Nights at Freddy's for example. But the element of surprise is still important, it's just something that this cheap tactic and actual horror share.

Logically, horror makes no sense because there's no way for a zombie apocalypse to happen, or for ghosts to haunt you and so on and so forth. This is why we suspend our belief, to fully immerse ourselves in the worlds being presented to us--one must understand the logic within the context of these movies, rather than apply outside logic to it.

This is a really long tangent just to say that Horropedia wouldn't exactly be the type of guy to engage in horror with such bad faith interpretations or opinions, since his To The Future voice line does focus on the impossible, the surprises that the future might bring. Expect the unexpected, as he says!

Future, future, hmm … Our future slides back to the past. What else would be impossible then? Perhaps that blondie would accept an award on the stage of any film festival, or the lame horror novels written by my grandpa would win the Nobel Prize in Literature, haha … I mean, you can always expect the unexpected, my friends!

There is also the fact that his Inheritance Skill is LITERALLY named "Jump Scare," because even though it's an outdated practice, it requires a lot of redirection--to ease the viewer into a false sense of safety only to hit them with the real thing, which fits the way Horropedia's Incantations work! He shoots randomly or with his eyes closed and his shots are redirected to the enemy! It's like his Ultimate description says:

With that, I think I got everything off my chest and out of my brain. Sadly, I don't think I have many headcanons that I could ramble about without making this post longer than it should be?

I guess I like to think Horropedia is left-handed and wears his accesories on reverse to throw people off, if that counts? I also like to think that he just naturally assigns a piece of horror media that he knows to everyone he knows in his brain, and that's how he knows them as or remembers them. Oh! I also think he could figure out the plot of FNAF if he wanted!

[xjereby]

Hey fellas! Its been a hot minute so let me introduce you all to my Hazbin Hotel High School AU!!

also known as Grimstone Academy (edgy.) Its a private school for gifted manipulators- i mean. thinkers :)

since the parents are paying a shit-ton of money for their teens to be at this academy the students can kinda get away with anything…

except murder… probably…

inspired by Mean Girls, Class of ‘09, and Heathers :)

characters, in order of appearance

Charlie Morningstar - Daughter of the principal, Lucas Morningstar. Homeschooled most of her life until her dad got this job offer, so she’s socially unaware.

Vicky Rivera - Gifted athlete, Coach Adam’s (2nd) favorite student. Generally an outcast due to her standoffish demeanor and interesting fashion choices. She has a personal history with nearly every student listed— almost all are negative.

Anthony (Angel) Ragno - Theatre kid! Generally speaks his mind and one of Vickys only friends because of this. Has been dating Valentino for 2 years.

Harry Petrova - Gifted violinist and fluent in Russian. He keeps to himself and knows to keep away from the crazier students— even though he’s Alastors closest (whatever that means to him) friend.

Alastor Guidry- Top of his class at the academy. Tries to keep close ties with every authority figure he knows— yet he’s frustrated that Charlie gets special treatment. He’s mysterious and weird to most of the students. Most.

Virgil Parr - Alastors’ academic rival. President of the school council and son of two relatively well known actors, he’s spiteful and short tempered, but uses blackmail to get out of any trouble.

Vicky says he could be smarter than Alastor if he wasn’t so emotional.

Oscar Valentino - A major bitch. He cuts class and talks back to authority figures, but his dad is the owner of a major, very bougie fashion company. Thinks very highly of himself and disapproves of Anthony’s friends. He continues to string him along, despite not being all that into him anymore.

Velvette Williams - Self proclaimed queen bee, and best friends with both Virgil and Valentino. She keeps every secret the two share with her, though she may use those secrets against them some day. Also a major bitch.

i got a little too silly w the descriptions LOL but uhh anyway hope everyone enjoys… I will be posting some doodles soon and may even make a whole blog for this au… hehe >:3

[thehours2002]

https://www.tumblr.com/thehours2002/756728210905088000?source=share

op of this post is a pretty obvious terf from just a casual glance at their blog, and Julie Bindel is one of the most outspoken and visible opponents of trans rights in the UK right now

Listen, I appreciate your intent here, but I don't find it productive to immediately and completely dismiss all the ideas of people who I have political or ideological disagreements with. If this is how we went about things then we wouldn't read a lot of important feminist thinkers who made both important contributions to feminist discourse and major missteps.

Bindel's advocacy against trans rights, of course, gives me pause, but if your intention in telling me this was to get me to delete the excerpt I posted, I'm not going to do that just because I disagree with Bindel on other issues.

I know I don't have to justify myself to this extent, but people are very quick to write off anyone who doesn't block and move on as transphobic. So, I hope followers and mutuals who have been following me for a while are familiar enough with my convictions to recognize that just because I leave up a passage that is sex work critical (because i agree with it, or find it worth reflecting on) doesn't mean that i endorse every viewpoint the author expresses in the book it comes from or that i condone her trans exclusive radical feminism.

You actually prompted me to seek out some reviews of the book in academic journals and I am interested in what she has to say about the oppression and violence that "women (as a sex class)" experience. However, some of the violence that she claims is directly tied to "female" biology—like rape, for example—is actually very likely to be experienced by trans women. It seems like one of Bindel's main priorities is the reduction of male violence, but I would argue that cis women and trans women are united in their susceptibility to male violence. one could argue that vulnerability to male violence is a precondition of womanhood, and by that rubric both cis women and trans women necessarily fall under the category of "woman."

[leolingo]

(rant about linguistics, aphasia and q!quackity’s impairments post-memory loss!!! to anyone who knows more about any of this, PLEASE add on or dm me id love to learn if anyones into neurolinguistics or anything of the sort)

ive been digging deeper into q!quackity’s condition (because I quite literally CAN’T stop thinking abou it) + taking note of his symptoms/behavior and it seems like what he’s dealing with could be called alexia (acquired inability to read) with agraphia (acquired inability to write), which are types of general aphasia, except i still need to know MORE about his production and comprehension i need to get in there!!!!!

it seems like he could be experiencing literal/verbal alexia with agraphia, which would mean he can’t recognize written letters or symbols at all and that is why he’s unable to read (this is all very tentative… all i have to go off of is my psycholinguistics class and as many academic articles as i can read). from what ive seen, q!q hasn’t actually tried to read any signs out loud, there’s no verbal attempt or production of speech which would make sense if he really can’t recognize the alphabet. BUT. what bothers me is that he can speak spanish with no issues. since spanish has a high proximity between phonology and orthography, theory says people who are able to speak it should be able to read and write the phonemes. and he can’t — or hasn’t tried. THAT makes me think he Can recognize the letters themselves

to confirm this i would really like to see him try to spell…. Or just name a letter! if its confirmed he CAN recognize individual letters, then id say what we’re looking at is more like pure alexia (without agraphia) — only a reading impairment, which would cause him to be unable to Arrange the letters in a sensical order. Its tough to check any of this w minecraft as a medium…. with a keyboard (or, in rp, on a communicator/in chat) it’s kind of impossible to know if he’s clicking at random or actually Trying to seek specific letters. but ill say that the way he sometimes dictates what he’s intending to write makes me think he DOES have the visual of each letter in his mind, and just struggles to order them or accurately transpose them

its also interesting to me how theres no sign of a speech impediment. q!q could speak fine from the very first moment we saw him. all hesitation was modal/owed to circumstance and not actually tied to his production of speech. i think that has more to do with the memory part of things! it could be that the extend of his memory alteration only goes as far as his writing and reading do. speech and comprehension come first in regular human development, and those are the faculties he has kept mostly unaltered. there could also be an argument to make about this pointing spanish as his first language (like cc!quackity) and english as his second, which would explain the dissonance between his production in one language and the other — but given that last stream he did express knowledge of english, idk if its relevant

i dont know much about the actual anatomy of things but i think it’s interesting that most aphasia cases are caused by lesions on the left temporal-parietal lobe. AND that its also possible for aphasia to be caused by head trauma like a hard hit to the head or deprival of oxygen (due to drowning? food for thought).

psa i know the situation in canon could be a lot less deep than im trying to make it. i get that. i dont expect the writers team to have researched the symptoms to this extent, but i enjoy discussing it. this is part of my major and a big area of interest for me so i find it really fun :) ill keep reading on this topic as much as i can and reblog w more of my musings if i find more relevant info. baseline qsmp team please let me in i need to study q!q under a microscope (lovingly)

[justatypicalwizard]

Wants Within | S. Shinazugawa | Chapter 13

✦ Sanemi Shinazugawa x femReader!, college au, reader is adult

✦ Synopsis: You're a college student taking classes with a very strict lecturer- professor Shinazugawa. Because of an unfortunate even you got on his bad side so now you're trying everything to regain in his eyes. Well, you most certainely didn't expect that kind of attention.

✦ Word count: 1k

18+, minors do not interact

The academic year came back and you found yourself back in Shinazugawa's classes. It was the first time you would meet him after the night. A few days passed and your head was a mess. On one hand you were scared, but on the other, you were so excited. There was a foggy thought in your head about doing it once more.

Beside the obvious thought clouding your mind there was another one. Due to the new semester, you would have a different group for these classes. You were interested in who would sit next to you.

A lot of people passed by, some alone, some in groups. You glanced from time to time at everyone. Noone sat next to you yet and Shinazugawa was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly, you heard the chair next to you begin to move. Looking up you saw a guy who also darted his eyes your way.

''Is this seat taken?'' He asked.

''No.'' You shook your head, still looking at him.

Damn! A cutie next to you. The guy smiled and sat down. The boy had rather short, black hair with some red clearances. You wondered whether it was natural or did he dye it that way. He wore a black t-shirt with a chinese dragon print and some black pants. He also had a scar covering a big part of his forehed. The most unusual part of his appearance were the hanafuda earrings that he had. They were big and stood out. Still, they looked awesome, giving the confidence that the guy emitted.

''Hey, my name's Tanjiro Kamado.'' He greeted you, unpacking his things.

''Hi, I'm Y/N L/N.'' You gave him a brief answer.

''You won't mind if my friends come and sit here in a while?'' He gave you a pleading look.

''Why would I? I don't own the chairs.'' You laughed a bit, uneasy with how he was asking about everything.

''Thanks! You're so nice.'' He grinned at you.

Wow, you just literally gave him the seat, that was not yours... well, whatever, maybe he was just nice. You quietly hoped that Shinazugawa wouldn't eat him alive, he seemed like such a cutie.

''Hey! Gonpachiro!'' You heard someone shouting.

A bunch of people flooded the row you were sitting in. One of them, a girl with black hair, pushed a guy aside and squeezed herself in front of him. They all started to take the places and the poor, shouting one was left without a chair.

''Fuck you all.'' He huffed.

''Inosuke, there's a chair here.'' The Tanjiro guy showed him the place on your second side.

''Don't tell me what to do, you're not my dad.'' The shouting one made a weird, fighting stance and started to walk your way.

Before you could process what was going on, he was already by your side. Turning your head around, you looked at Tanjiro.

''You said my friends could come.'' You sweatdropped.

''Yes, indeed.'' Sighing, you let it go, someone would sit there one way or another. You just felt a little bit stupid sitting between them like that.

''I can change seats if you want, so you guys can sit together.'' You started and everyone looked your way.

The group was rather big. Beside the Tanjiro guy with hanafuda earrings there were four of them. Inosuke next to you had longer hair that was blueish at the ends. He had a simple hoodie and jeans. His backpack looked empty, he also didn't put anything on the desk so you guessed he was not the type to take notes. Then there was the girl that sat just next to Tanjiro. She had long, black hair tied up in a ponytail. Her bands covered her pale forehead. She was dressed very girlish, in a white and pink, flowery dress, white tights and small, classy boots. There were dozens of hairpins attached to her ponytail. She stared at you intensely. Only now did you spot that one of her eyes seemed blacked out. Behind her was yet another girl with black hair, this time she had it shorter than the first one. She was dressed more basic compared to her friend. She had a dark blue, cotton sweater tucked in a pair of jeans that fit her butt very well. She gave you a lazy look, not really caring about the whole situation. Finally, at the end was a blonde guy. He was staring at you very intensively. His hair was sunny and messy. He had a shirt and chequered trousers. He paused his writing just to gaze at you.

Then, it hit you.

It was the same blonde guy that you met in front of Shinazugawa's apartment. The same guy that saw you together on the New Year.

Panic flashed through your body. You had to talk to him later!

''Inosuke, do you want to switch seats?'' Tanjiro asked, pulling you out of your dark thoughts.

''No. And don't ask me! You're not my mom!'' He became angry instantly.

''Okay.'' Tanjiro smiled at him like he didn't see his fury. ''If you'd need anything tell me.''

You looked at the Inosuke guy, not sure whether Tanjiro really wasn't his mom.

''What are you looking at? Go stare at Gonpachiro!'' Inosuke moved his face close to yours, huffing at you.

''That's not a playground!'' You heard an angry voice. It was Shianzugawa who just entered the class and gave you and Inosuke a glare.

''Sorry.'' You felt double stupid now.

''Pff, scared of the Professor?'' The Inosuke guy snickered.

''You better be too, at least this one.''

As the lecture started you saw that the blonde guy was still glancing at you from time to time. Moreover, he was kinda tracing between you and Shinazugawa. On lord, did he remember? Please, let him be too drunk that night!

With the mess in your head you knew you had to talk to Shinazugawa first, before going after the blonde guy. But what if he tells his friends and they tell everyone? Okay, first you had to talk to the blonde and then with Shinazugawa, or maybe with both of them at the same time. You didn't know!

Figuring out, you wrote a short message to Shinazugawa, hoping he would read it before the end of the lecture. Luckily, he was sitting beside his desk, not talking right now because you guys had to figure out an equation.

SOS, the drunk guy we met is sitting next to me.

You hoped he would figure out this message. You didn't want to write too much via normal texts. You always have to be careful.

Looking at your professor you prayed he would pick up his phone, and he did. He read something but didn't look at you. Then, you got a text.

Figure it out. Then come for my office hours.

Figure it out? What the heck, Sanemi.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Taglist:

@secretxchive @vesperazhier

[zigzagle]

28•10•23

ive decided i want to start the 100 days of productivity today because i want to start doing better in school and just in general

Rules

no “zero” days (rest can be productive!! listen to your body as needed)

productivity can be academic, social, or betterment of myself and spaces around me

Academic Productivity

studying or homework for my uni classes

reading a nonfiction book, paper, or article

Social Productivity

I am a very socially anxious person and i moved to this uni this past summer and im having a hard time integrating so i want to go out and do things that normally i would argue i need to do with someone but if i go by myself to spaces i enjoy im likely to meet people with common interests. the goal is to get out of the house and do something im scared of.

Betterment of Myself

this one sort of speaks for itself but im trying ti learn a language uge right now along with other healthy habits such as better eating and exercising. this could also include doing thing that im responsible for such as going grocery shopping or running and errand ive been avoiding. this one is very broad and open ended if i feel a task is for a better future for me it would fall into this catagory

super nervous to start something like this so close to the end of the semester so it should be a challenge to get things going over winter break. Im going ti keep a log of it in here ans im also thinking of using a google form to keep track of what productive things i ddi the most to look back on later.

[herblackabyss]

About • Tag List • Ask • Series Masterlist •

[Title] 7 Dates, 7 Conflicts [Rating & Genre] [M] 18+, strangers to lovers, slow burn, Collage AU [Pairing] Jeon Jungkook x Reader (Amaya Bradford) [Trigger Warnings] a few cuss words

[A/N] I'm baaacckkk~! I apologize for my absence, but I truly struggle with this whole social media and social interaction thing. I had to restructure this part because I've come to the realization that my brain doesn't quite know how to write multiple events into one part...

P.S the last bit is a mess but I'll update it soon...<3

ALSO HAPPY HUNTER DAAYYY!!

[Word Count] 2740

"This is an absolute colossal fucking disaster, Chenle," I hiss under my breath, pacing across my bedroom with my phone clutched tightly to my ear. On the other end, the low hum of my best friend's tired yawn slips through the line, the digital clock on my nightstand casting an ominous glow – 10:47 PM.

I roll my eyes, my frustration lacing into the very syllables of my words. "I mean, how on earth are we even supposed to tackle this if he's out there getting his dick sucked instead of meeting me to work on the assignment?" Veronica had given us a unique homework assignment during our last COMM101 class—a creative pair-building exercise intended to break the ice. It was supposed to be an opportunity for Jungkook and me to explore each other's perspectives and come up with something that was at least halfway decent. Yet, instead of paying even a sliver of attention, Jungkook seemed to be far more interested in sketching bizarre doodles across my meticulously taken lecture notes. Since that fateful Monday morning, I've embarked on a one-woman crusade to pin him down and get him to work on it. But every attempt I make is met with flimsy excuses and empty promises. He's always conveniently "busy" or "tied up with something else." And me? I'm not naive enough to swallow those slippery words whole, not when they spill from his slick, slithering tongue like a practiced dance. As the relentless ticking of the clock emphasizes the looming deadline for my not-so-friendly essay, the harsh reality sets in. I realize that I know next to nothing about this bumbling baboon, except for the fact that he can't seem to keep his... cock out of people's mouths. The idea of crafting an essay detailing his countless escapades with the campus coeds is tempting, but it also feels like a peculiar form of self-inflicted torture. I flop onto my bed, clutching my phone as if it's my only lifeline in this chaotic situation.

"Guess I'll just have to corner him tomorrow," I murmur to myself, feeling a potent mix of determination and resignation settle in my chest like a heavy anchor. I reach out for the worn notebook resting nearby and flip it open, its pages ready to receive my thoughts and ideas for the upcoming project, even if, for now, it's a solo endeavor. After all, if Jungkook insists on making things difficult, I'm more than willing to return the favor. "Key word: 'probably,' but I can't take that risk with Jungkook," I try to speak as calmly as possible, frustration mounting within me. There's no way I can just sit here and hope he comes to his senses. I need to take action. I shouldn't be in this position, having to babysit a grown man when it comes to his academics. I mean, seriously, I'm baffled by his attitude towards this assignment. How on earth is he the top student in the Computer Science department? Does the university randomly select his name from a hat filled with sheets of paper with only his name on them? Or is he secretly paying someone to do his assignments? "But I hope you're right," I concede with a sigh as I wrap up the call and head to bed.

"Jeon!" I shout, my voice slicing through the noisy street, instantly grabbing the attention of curious onlookers. He strides purposefully toward Avery's Bagel Shop, his arm wrapped around the waist of a wavy-haired blonde. Her stunning long legs propel her forward, her eyes locked on him, with hearts practically sparkling in them. As I watch their interaction unfold before me, it becomes painfully evident that this is a heartbreak in the making. Jungkook, of all people, isn't exactly renowned for his ability to commit, and that's common knowledge around campus. He cycles through new romantic interests every week, and he's openly professed his disinterest in love on countless occasions. Yet, here she is, hopelessly falling for him—poor thing.

I raise my voice, frustration bubbling within me as I call out to him once more. But he remains utterly indifferent, his gaze fixed solely on the entrance of the quaint, inviting eatery. With a graceful sweep, he swings the door open, his hand tenderly resting on her lower back as he ushers his companion inside. I can't help but let out an exasperated sigh, my impatience growing by the second. I shake my head in disbelief before navigating my way across the bustling street. What the fuck is his problem? Stepping through the gleaming silver double doors, I make my way to the established ordering queue. Contrary to any wild ideas he might be concocting in his thick skull, I'm not here because of him. I wanted to get some work done on a few of my assignments before making my way to Chenle's place. Avery's holds a special place in my heart— it's been my favorite spot to grab a bite and study for years. Avery, the owner, is a culinary virtuoso in her mid-thirties, a mastermind behind a medley of bagel creations that are nothing short of life-altering. Over time, she's expanded her menu to include other breakfast and lunch delights, all of which keep people coming back for more.I became a regular of Avery's in her food truck era. Back then, she operated her modest business right in the heart of the city, serving her delectable creations from a weathered, banged-up red truck.Since then, I haven't looked back, it feels like I've gained a good friend and a great place to study when I need to. "Are you planning to ignore me for the rest of your life?" I say, my voice filled with frustration as I approach Jungkook. He's engrossed in a conversation with the blonde, oblivious to my approach. It amuses me how much effort he invests in girls he never intends to pursue beyond a casual fling. I mean, what's the point of all this when there are no intentions of going any further?

I watch as he slowly turns his head to identify the source of the voice. When he realizes it's me, his expression shifts, but he doesn't reply. The blonde clinging to his arm shoots me a nasty glare, clearly annoyed that I've interrupted their conversation. It's even more amusing to me that there are girls who willingly put themselves in such situations with guys like Jungkook, thinking they can be the ones to change them. "The assignment is due in just four days, Jeon, and I haven't even started because of you," I huff, frustration gnawing at me as I rummage through my bag to find my purse. Earlier, he had told me he had important matters to attend to today, which was why he couldn't meet with me. When I proposed meeting later in the day, he promptly shot down the idea, insisting he didn't have the time. So you can imagine my surprise when I spotted him with his little date. Emerging from the depths of my bag with my purse in hand, I shift my gaze toward him, awaiting his response. But there's nothing. No glimmer of recognition in his eyes, no hint of acknowledgment. He just stands there, unmoving, as if I'm invisible.

Is he really going to stand there and ignore me like a petulant child

I exhale a deep sigh, my eyes narrowing as I focus on the back of his head, frustration bubbling up inside me like a simmering volcano. A million wicked scenarios play out in my mind, each one more devious than the last, all focused on how I could effectively sabotage his date.

A mischievous thought dances through my mind. What if I were to swing my bag, aiming it at that unsuspecting, utterly useless head of his? And just for good measure, I could give his blonde friend a forcefully playful shove, a move that would surely knock her on her ass.

Or perhaps... A sly smirk gradually creeps across my face as a more subtle, yet equally potent, idea blossoms in my mind. It's nothing too extravagant, but I have complete confidence that it will work like a charm.

As I stand here, contemplating my revenge plot, I can't help but notice that the queue opposite the one I'm currently in has emptied out. Without missing a beat, I smoothly slide into that vacancy, feeling a rush of anticipation building within me. My eyes immediately fixate on the illuminated board behind the cashier's head. I tilt my head to the side, carefully examining my options before allowing my gaze to shift to Jungkook, whose irritated expression is now in plain view.

As I observe, a smug grin slowly creeps across my face. I can't help but revel in the satisfaction that washes over me as I witness the subtle twitch in his furrowed brow and the rhythmic clenching of his jaw. The tension practically oozes from his pores, an electrifying aura that I can almost taste. After all, he doesn't deserve to have a good day, not after all those lies he's been feeding me these past few days. I'm in absolute awe of his extraordinary ability to seemingly disregard my very presence. My eyes meticulously track his every move, from the way he confidently places orders for both himself and his date, to the charming, heart-melting smile he offers her and with a delicate touch, he tucks a strand of her golden locks behind her ear. It's almost as if the world revolves around them, and everyone else in the room merely fades into the background. I watch, captivated, as he tenderly grasps her hand, guiding her with a gentle assurance toward a cozy booth nestled in a secluded corner of the establishment. They settle in, their bodies so close that their shoulders brush against each other, creating an aura of intimacy that's impossible to ignore. Their conversation flows effortlessly, brimming with laughter and whispered sweet nothings. I have to admit, this guy knows exactly what to do to make a girl feel special.

A simmer of irritation bubbles beneath my skin, while amusement dances at the edges of my thoughts. Jungkook, so blissfully unaware of just how persistent I can be and utterly clueless about my insatiable appetite for pettiness, continues to test my tolerance for his behavior daily. What he doesn't know is that I've always been known for my excellence in theatrics, and quite frankly, if Jungkook wants to put on a performance, I'll give him a whole damn show.

As soon as I place my order, I waste not a single second in moving toward my target. I stride with unwavering purpose toward their booth, my head held high, my hips swaying seductively as I saunter across the room. A mischievous glint flickers in my eyes as I gracefully slide into the seat right beside him, his murderous glare meeting my unflinching gaze.

I respond with a sickeningly sweet smile, my voice dripping with a teasing tone, my eyes twinkling with faux longing. "I haven't seen you since Monday, Jeon. I really missed you," I say, letting a pout form on my plump lips as I lean in closer to him. My gaze shifts to his date as I rest my head on his shoulder. "Who's this, Kook?" I mumble, deliberately ignoring the way his fists clench between us. I'm fully aware that my intrusion on his little date will undoubtedly annoy the ever-loving shit out of him.

He exchanges a quick, awkward glance with his date, who appears thoroughly confused and uncomfortable with my sudden presence. I release a sigh, my gaze carefully assessing her features. "My replacement, perhaps?" I ask, shifting my attention back to him. I catch that split-second flicker of surprise on his face – he clearly didn't expect me to say that. "Amaya," he warns, his demeanor growing stern as he clenches his jaw, clearly struggling to maintain his composure. But if I'm completely honest, I've never been one to heed warnings; Chenle always claimed that it would take a miracle worker to handle my attitude. "I'm Amaya, by the way. You?" My focus shifts to her.

"Kiarra," she whispers, her voice barely audible, and I notice her eyes closely following my fingers as they delicately trace the contours of Jungkook's exposed neck. Her lips curl into a condescending smile as she shifts to the seat opposite ours. Girls like Kiarra, the quintessential "it" girl, always seem to gravitate towards guys like my insufferable group member.

To be honest, I've got her type down pat. Her shallowness cuts through the layers of designer labels and caked-on makeup. She gives off vibes of someone who places an exorbitant amount of importance on her position within the social hierarchy, evident in the meticulous effort she pours into her appearance.

She's undoubtedly frequented the finest surgeons, splurged on the most lavish clothes, and surrounds herself with a clique of girls who are both beautiful and, well, rather uninteresting. "So, how did you end up meeting my favorite boy?" I ask, a gentle smile gracing my lips, my head still comfortably nestled on his shoulder, my gaze locked onto her as we engage in this unspoken standoff. She's challenging me for control of the situation. "We met at Jimin's party last week," she responds with a manufactured smile, her impeccably white teeth on full display. However, I can discern the underlying annoyance in her eyes, even through her facade.

"Jimin's party," I inquire, my brows furrowing in faux hurt, pretending to be genuinely surprised as I maintain that delicate touch along Jungkook's collarbone. My fingers trace a slow, teasing path, eliciting a subtle shiver from him. "I'm hurt, Kookie. You told me you were too busy," I pout, my tone dripping with feigned disappointment. I shift my gaze to Jungkook, my eyes wide and glistening, attempting to make it appear as if I'm truly saddened by his recent evasiveness.

Kiarra, caught off guard by my interaction with Jungkook, shifts uncomfortably in her seat. She clears her throat, her irritation growing the longer I linger. "Well, I guess he had some free time after all," she retorts, her voice laced with hostility. The cracks in little miss perfect's facade are becoming more apparent, and I can practically feel the tension radiating off Jungkook in waves. He's obviously annoyed by my intrusion, but by the look on his face, you could never tell well aside from his clenched jaw. "Amaya, what are you doing?" His deep voice carries a warning as he slowly turns his head to look down at me, his dark eyes fixed on mine.

I maintain my act, tilting my head ever so slightly to meet his gaze, a playful smile dancing on my lips. "I mean, I have to get your attention somehow, right?" I respond, my voice brimming with faux innocence. Leaning in a little closer, my lips hover dangerously close to his ear, and I whisper, "Besides, it's been weeks, and you've been so absorbed in... other endeavors." I punctuate my statement with a sly wink.

Kiarra's perfectly manicured nails clench onto the edge of her designer bag as she observes our little spectacle, clearly flustered.

Drawing even nearer to Jungkook, my lips graze his ear as I murmur, "You know, we do make quite the convincing pair, don't you think?" My words are laced with just enough mischief to set him on edge, and I can see the gears turning in his head as he contemplates how to navigate this unexpected scenario. "Excuse me," she mutters, abruptly pushing her chair back and rising to her feet. Her frustration is palpable in her tone.

"Leaving so soon?" I inquire, my voice dripping with feigned concern.

Jungkook attempts to intervene, but Kiarra is already making her way toward the exit. "Kiarra, wait," he pleads, reaching out for her, but she brushes past him without a second glance.

With a theatrical sigh, I rest my head on Jungkook's shoulder once more. "Well, that didn't go as planned, did it?"

Jungkook rolls his eyes, a hint of amusement twinkling in his gaze. "You're un-fucking-believable."

I flash him a mischievous grin, my façade dropping as Kiarra departs. "Just rescuing you from a bad date, Kookie," I remark with a wink. "And reminding you that you can't keep avoiding our assignment forever." With a satisfied hum, I smoothly slide out of the booth and stride toward the exit, shooting him a playful wink before making my way to Chenle's place.

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[bebemoon]

bebemoon writing prompts, pt. ii~

pt. i

so, there are four below the cut- not as many as last time, unfortunately. but i went ahead and just copied down the better prompts from my old doc, plus ! a lil london fashion week surprise for the fourth one ;3 please enjoy- and if you use any or part of any, and want to share, please tag me because i’d love to see/read~ ! 

{dark or spooky fantasy prompts ahead, so you might not be interested in these if that’s not your bag.^^’}

✥ I . ELDRITCH INK: local unseelie fairy magical being turns tattoo artist in order to hide curses in the freshly-inked flesh of their mortal clientele. just for fae funsies- or else in order to somehow acquire all of the town’s milk and sweet butter supply.  

✥ II . DOLL MUSEUM: your small coastal town is one of those with a storied past of witches and devils. it’s never interested you, though. your new job is...very boring. you conduct tours around the creaky, wallpapered corridors of the old main street victorian- all while glassy-eyed porcelain dolls with ratty curls watch your every move from behind locked glass. the customary patron is an tiny old woman hunched over a walking stick. it’s not ideal, but it pays. a couple lonely graveyard shifts lead you to begin understanding. the old place is, more or less, some sort of tomb of imprisoned souls- eternally coffined in the dolls on display. and the person who hired you as keeper of these awful effigies- ? is it possible this is all their doing?

✥ III . SKULL & BONES: university “life” is for the birds when you’re a hard-working, penniless student with zero familial ties outside of the foster system. so, yes, it’s strange when the older students of much wealthier backgrounds start taking an interest in you. asking strange questions, secretly helping you out financially and academically- gifts, too. and it seems they’re everywhere, these rich kids- at least one in each of your classes. but how could you have ever expected what was to come ? after all, secret societies of scelestic socialites on campus who sleep in coffins and murder fellow classmates for sport is about as far-fetched as the premise of a hollywood film... falling in with these hedonists- you don’t really have a choice in the matter unless you want to end up as one of their victims.  

✥ IV . IMAGE PROMPT: write a story about the person who has worn/would wear this:

[luke-r-gillespie]

May 6 - Asakusa / Fukugawa Edo Museum

Freewriting

For my first day in Tokyo, I woke up around 6AM (thank you jetlag) and reviewed the days readings before heading downstairs to eat breakfast with my group. Following breakfast, I attended the first class meeting before embarking to Asakusa by train. Asakusa temple was amazing, the size and intricacy of the temple and the surrounding structures was breath taking.

After looking around in some stalls around the temple, I paid 100 yen to have my fortune read. I received a bad fortune (not cool,) but I tied it to the designated to post to hopefully shake my bad luck. After looking around at the shrine for a bit longer, I went to lunch with some friends and had some great Japanese food (despite the meal taking way longer than we initially anticipated.) It was the type of restaurant where they prepare the food in front of you, but it was taking too long and we were going to be far too late returning to the group, but thankfully my (sub-par) Japanese speaking helped me to resolve the situation. After Asakusa, we went to the Fukugawa Edo Museum where a great tour guide told us all (but mostly Zachary) about life in the Edo period. After the days excursions were done I went to the Pokemon center, UNIQLO, Don Quijote and a really strange free art exhibit. I ended the night at a great pizza place down town where I had a really nice time with some friends. After a missed train or two, I ended up back at Hotel Edoya where I now sit writing this post.

Academic Reflection

The Asakusa temple is an ancient Buddhist temple which is extremely popular in and around Tokyo. The temple is that of Kannon, the god(ess) of mercy. Many aspects of the temple are indicative of Buddhist history and its influences. For example, the giant sandals meant to ward off demons or the statues that stand on either side of the temple's entrance which have obvious Greek influence. Unlike many other temples and shrines in Japan that are typically only visited in the event of someone's death, the Asakusa temple was bustling with commerce and activity. The influence of Buddhism on Japan's economy and religious beliefs was very evident at the temple. The deity (Kannon) presented at the temple seemed more in line with Mahayana sect of Buddhism. The Fukugawa Edo Museum presented an extremely accurate and realistic depiction of a small section of Edo era Tokyo. The entire "city block" was very reminiscent of the reading on premodern Japan. The businesses and homes presented real world examples of how many different individuals lived in the Edo period (aside from the Emperor, Shogun, and his Daimyos.) It is not hard to picture how Japan prospered under the Tokugawa's rule if these were the conditions at the time. The rice warehouse and the boathouse were particularly interesting and it helped that our guide was passionate about the material.

[143studies]

not to be a smol tiny being here but 🥺🌸 i know this is small but i really have a good time posting here and receiving some likes on my silly posts motivates me so much to study!

(under the cut: just a ramble about school time + mental health issues during childhood + not feeling like i was a capable being + peer pressure + comparison)

growing up, i struggled so much with generalized anxiety. as much as i wanted to study like my peers in school, i couldn't seem to do it because my mind was full 99% of the time... too much worries, intrusive thoughts, later on i was also diagnosed with depression.... my concentration was always off, my grades were pathetic because of it and i got told many times (straightforwardly by my teachers) that i only passed grades due to my presence in classes and good behavior.

for a long time, i felt like my hands were tied, you know? i felt like 1 i was a slave of mental illnesses 2 it would only get worse and 3 i would never have academic success.

it has gotten better with time! i am very self aware, i spent a lot of time in therapy, many years in medication... as a lover of linguistics and communication i'm always (trying) to read a lot, write and journal a lot. i was able to graduate in college successfully but idk... sometimes it feels off to me? it doesn't seem valid because it seems like i never put effort in anything... because i never spent three, four hours in front of a book to study, never had to put allnighters... and i have to stop myself from comparing my path to others..

even though i don't post or interact as much as i'd like, this side blog has become therapeutic to me. to post the little progress i make every day, my journey learning new things like i am a little kid... i think it has become my safe place to just talk about my course and topics i'm interested in and let my guard off while i heal from everything

[terresdebrume]

Tonight is a "let's feel undirected stress, frustration and sadness" kind of night, where multiple things might have contributed but we don't know which one! Is it:

Feeling like I fucked up with a student after the lovely words students had to say about me this morning for teachers day, thus feeling a bit like a sham?

Feeling like I fucked up with a student because I'm too focused on their academic performance and behavior in class despite having suffered from this as a teenager?

Some kind of rebound from talking to my mom yesterday and having to say the conversation went well because she said she would see my potential child "even though it would be an effort" and only reminded me once that I was lucky no one refused to see me after my trans coming out?

The vague feeling that I may be done trying, actually. That I don't know why I continue to try and reach out to the family when the best I can expect is them having to wrestle themselves into the idea of even just potentially seeing a fucking infant just because they don't fucking like who birthed it?

... you know what I was going to make one last bullet point but I think this one is it. I'm so fucking frustrated that this is how she feels about it, that this is the fucking best I can expect. I'm so frustrated that I feel more appreciated by my students than my fucking family. I'm so angry and sad because I love my students and I'm glad they like me, but also the importance that has for me is definitely linked to feeling unloved for a long time

I'm so fucking sad and I'm frustrated that I still feel too guilty and too, idk, tied down to some conservative notions of family to just fucking give up on my mother the way I had to give up on my father

I'm fucking frustrated that one of my closest friend offered to house me if I went to give birth in France and I actually like this idea a lot (even though financially it would probably cost me a lot more than doing it in Cambodia, unless I could find someone to do in house pet sitting) but the first thing I did was giving my mother the idea of visiting the child when I'm actually realizing I don't want her there

I would love to have my friend Julie there, because she's the mother of my goddaughter and she's been and amazing support and I think she's doing a great job raising her kid! But I don't want my mom around. I don't want my sister, I don't want my father, I don't want any of my aunts, and I don't think any of my cousins would be particularly interested

I don't know why I keep trying to maintain relationships with my mom's family when it's becoming increasingly clear that I don't want to. They haven't done anything violent (at least physically) or outwardly very bad but honestly

I don't want to try anymore. I'm fucking tired. I'm just. So fucking tired.

[doritofalls]

I am Interested in you Kiyo Sticks Around AU... it's a v neat idea and there's so much to dig into there. The complete destruction of the sense of self... the rest of the class having to deal with there being a very clear guilty-as-sin murderer among them. So much potential.

If I can ask though: what, in this AU, would trigger his (or at least the start of his) disillusionment with his sister? Because I think that would sit very very far in, for the process to even begin. And at the same time it's needed for him to do any meaningful character change.

(cont.)

On a (semi-related) note I believe Kiyo would use each and every potential argument he could find to defend his sister if anyone were to point out that her behaviour was. Bad. Not matter what weird leaps of logic or contradictions he ends up with. Korekiyo Shinguuji: Ultimate Mental Gymnast.

thank you!! i really appreciate such thoughtful and kind feedback! honestly, i got invested in the concept of the au because while i love kiyo and wish he had a chance at redemption obviously, i also think the way chapter 3 played out was a massive flop that missed out on a lot of interesting possibilities, especially due to the double murder thing. just WHY introduce the concept of getting a freebie murder if you're not going to elaborate on it whatsoever??? similiarly to the first blood perk in chapter 1, it just served no purpose and felt pointless to even be brought up. all it did is make the trial like, ten minutes longer? but with kiyo being behind both murders, it was really just. meh. quite anticlimactic.

i ended up rambling a lot so the rest is under the cut

i think as far as kiyo's character goes, he's written in a way that makes redemption... quite impossible, very much by design. his entire identity and sense of purpose is tied to the idea of his sister so, so strongly that you cannot separate it without giving him a significant case of ego death... and even then, i think it would take significantly longer for him to find his footing than the spawn of any dr game. not to mention that whatever coping mechanisms he would come up with, would realistically suck at least as much as his coping mechanisms to losing his sister in the first place.

as far as the au goes, i don't have it fully figured out - because again, kiyo's written like an existential nightmare -, but i figure there would only be an opening to even trying to reason with him through significant emotional attachment (in the au's case, to shuichi, but also because i'm a sucker) that chances are, would be bothering kiyo in some level already. he does not make attachments, and when he does, they are in the pursuit of his studies or his mission to look after his sister. he observes, he studies, he doesn't get involved. maybe the closest he gets to people is the superficial connection he makes with his future victims in pursuit of finding out if they are worthy to be killed. he calls the v3 cast his friends, when it is clear they either straight-up disliked him the whole time through or just begrudgingly accepted his presence (not that that isn't the case with the entirety of the cast, but that's a different story entirely).

what i'm saying is, making a genuine friend like shuichi through his FTE's, would bother him i think already, because it is just so alien to him. i think you can perceive that through the kind of relationship dynamic he upholds with shuichi - they are the same age, but he's only comfortable with his closeness in the context of academic roles.

in the rough outline that's in my head for the au so far, there could be an opening through the argument on the caged child ritual not working -> the legitimacy of kiyo's possession being questioned. i think there is certainly leeway there (maybe a class trial with his sister persona as the main character? could be fun), because kiyo is anything but unintelligent. he knows of grief responses and mental illness, and i don't think it would be impossible to get him to see reason - especially if one could find holes in his story.

of course, this point truly depends on how the writer wishes to see kiyo (in this case, how i wish to carry on my au), because the game is just so gimmicky and unbothered when it comes to portraying mental illness. i don't personally think kiyo would have DID - though he certainly feels like he could fit the criteria of some dissociative disorders, from a dissociative disorder haver - as much as dealing with a very deeply ingrained tulpa situation. however, i think the possibility of recognizing his sister persona as his own mind's creation instead of genuine spiritual possession could help him gain a little bit of cognitive distance. that is not to say that his sister persona would cease to exist imo, even if he no longer wanted it to - which could lead to another interesting change in dynamic and a possible reason for his distance from the persona that was solely created to be a vessel for his irl sister's wishes.

i think even if you build down from kiyo's not being possessed by his actual sister but coping with the worst possible grief response you still would have to take a Lot of time to get to kiyo's actual irl sister may have been bad to him. i think even if kiyo got to accepting the fact he was abused by his sister, he still wouldn't try to find her accountable, because of their unique circumstances, her illness and isolation. i think there is anger there, but pushed so deep under the surface that it would probably take years of therapy to unpack. i imagine this is the kind of emotion that fueled near 100 murders of girls his dead sisters' age. however, facing that is definitely not something that would happen in the time spawn of the killing game (implying kiyo would survive to the end), and i think he would still take the mere implication extremely bad. like you said, ultimate mental gymnast for sure.

[whentherewerebicycles]

omg just had SUCH a good talk with that former older student of mine about how to get transfer students involved in research + what he thinks four-year faculty should know about students who are making the transition from community colleges. it was just so, SO interesting!! the basic takeaways were:

mentorship, mentorship, mentorship. his view was basically that no single factor matters more in determining a student’s trajectory in college & likelihood of graduating than mentorship. he was able to name five different mentors he had at different stages in his CC/four year college/grad school career, all of whom built a relationship with him and took the time to learn a great deal about how he thought and what he was interested in and where he wanted to go, and then provided him with extra guidance, feedback, and structured support to help him advance towards those long-term goals.

but also: mentors may need to more explicitly name what they’re doing—like, he had a fantastic CC mentor who hired him as a TA and got him involved as a paid member of this committee that was redesigning the school’s core curriculum and helped him network with other faculty… and my student said it wasn’t until years down the road that he realized the professor wasn’t finding him extra jobs just to help him make more money, he was actually working to acclimate him to & familiarize himself with the cultures and norms of higher ed, and helping him hone his skills in talking to faculty and administrators about his interests and his long-term goals and so on. that was very interesting!

CC students are less likely to know that talking to faculty, sharing their goals with advisors, taking advantage of professional development offerings, and seeking out extracurricular opportunities tied to their academic/professional interests is actually a really important part of being in college. he said he was totally focused on getting all A’s and thought that was all he needed to do until a professor took him aside and was like “you HAVE to network, you have to apply for these other things, you’re too smart to just do your work and go home and not take advantage of everything that’s available to you here.” he also said that you can’t just give CC transfer students information—you also often have to understand and correct the misinformation or mistaken assumptions they’re coming into the institution with.

students aren’t going to get hooked on research via research papers lol. he was like you CAN get them to the point where they actually legitimately want to write research papers because they’re that fascinated by the questions they’re asking. but you have to get them to discover and fall in love with their questions first. so he was advocating for starting with community-engaged research or applied research or creative projects that are grounded in research but work on other levels too, and using those kinds of things to get students thinking about the kinds of questions they could be asking, and then slowly introducing formal research tools and building up their understanding of the methods that researchers in different fields use to answer big questions and so on.

he said he thinks a big challenge for CC students who are considering transferring to four-year colleges is all the mixed messages they get about their abilities or aptitude for college. he was like, “you can be a smart, capable student but you’ll be sitting in a class where the professor’s talking to you and teaching the course like it’s a remedial class, and it can really get in your head, because they’re a professor and maybe they know more than you do about what level you can perform at. and then maybe you’ll go to the next class where you have a great professor who encourages you, but in the back of your mind you’re like, what kind of student am I? am I the remedial student or the student who could get my bachelor’s degree?” idk just so interesting always to think about how much influence faculty attitudes can have on students’ own self-perception

much to think about!!! I have more in my notes I just gotta sit with it for a bit and do some more thinking about how I want to talk about it in the campus visit.