#and its hard to let go of friends youve had for so long

[sillyweirdkid]

OLD FRIEND... ITS BEEN TEN YEARS SINCE I LAST SAW YOU... REMEMBER ME.. I AM THE INFAMOUSSSS ODYESSSSUUUUUSSSSSSS OOWOAAAAHHOOOWAHOOWAH LETS SEE WHERE YOUVE BEEN!!! KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSER AND UR ENEMIES CLOSE- RUTHLESSNESS IS MERCY UPON OURSELVES- ONE WRONG MOVE AND YOUR DONE FOR ANYTHING I- SONG OF PAST ROMANCE I SEE THE- WE WONT TAKE MORE SUFFERING FROM YO- DROWN IN UR SORROW AND FEARS!!! CAPTAIN..? I HAVE TO SEE HER.. BUT WE'LL DIE.. I KNOW .... ODESSYUS WHERE DID YOU GO?... *5 SECONDS IN LOVE IN PARADISE* MORNING SLEEPYHEAD YOUVE BEEN RESTING FOR A WHILE I SWORE THAT YOU WERE DEAD WHEN YOU WASHED UP IN MY AILE DIDJA KNOW U TALK IN UR SLEEP TELL ME THOUGH WHOS PENELOPE??? SHES MY WIFE... *5 SECOND PAUSE* ANYWAYS IVE GOT ALL THAT YOU WANT HERE ALL THAT YOU NEED HERE JUST YOU AND ME MY DEAR MY LOVE FOR LIFE SOON INTO BED WE'LL CLIMB AND SPEND YOUR TIME- IM NOT YOUR MAAAAAANNNNNNN IM WHAT YOU WANT HERE IM WHAT YOU NEED HERE JUST YOU AND ME MY LOVE IN PARADISE NOT TILL THE END OF TIME FROM HERE AND OUT YOUR MINE ALL MI- HELL NO I COULD KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND IM NO PET IM A MARRIED MAN OH HANDSOME YOU MAY TRY BUT LAST I CHECK GODESSES CANT DIE HEHEHEHEHHEHE GODESS..? YOUR ADORABLE BOW DOWN TO THE IMMORTAL CALYPSO BUT FEAR NOT I BRING NO PAIN CUZ WE GOT ALL THAT WE WANT HERE ALL THAT WE WANT HERE UNDER MY SPELL WERE STUCK IN PARADISE NO ONE CAN COME NOR GO MY ISLAND STAYS UNKNO NOOO NOOO I DONT BELONG HERE THERES SOMETHING WRONG HERE I WONT BE DRAWN TO LOVE IN PARADISE NOT TILL THE END OF TIME THERES IS NO WAY- UR MINE ALL MINE.. 7 YEARS SHES KEPT YOU OUT OF UR CONTROL TIME TO TAKE A HEAVY TOLL..... ODESSYUS..?? ALL I HEAR ARE SCREAMS.. ODY GET AWAY FROM THE LEDGE!!1 YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IVE GONE THRU YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IVE SACRIFICED EVERY COMRAD I LONG KNEW EVERY FRIEND I SAW THEM DIE AND ALL I HEAR ARE SCREAAMMS IT WILL BE FINE DEAR COME BACK INSIDE MY DEAR LOVE OF MY LIFE COME BACK TO PARADISE... LET ME CLOSE MY EYEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS I KNOW YOUR LIFES BEEN HARD ILL STAY INSIDE UR HEART ALL I HEAR ARE SCREEEAAAAMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE YOU MY DEAR I LOVE OUR TIME HERE LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH WORSE IF YOU HAD DIED JUSSST LET ME CLOSSEEEEE MY EYEEESSSS PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM STAY IN MY OPEN ARRRRMMMS ALLL I HEAR AREEE... THIS LIFES AMAZING WHEN YOU GREET IT WITH OPEN ARMS HOW MUCH LONGER TILL LUCK RUNS OUT? WAAIIITINNGG WAAAITTTINGGGG.. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ATHEEEENNNAAAA!!! .......... he needs my help (holy im finally done typing)

[butterfly-in-progress]

I was born with a mask

Or I might as well have been

I didn't even know what my own face looked like

As the years went on

I added to it

Layers upon layers caked onto my face

A protective shell

But you were by my side when there were cracks in it

You loved me when the mask was still new and didn't cover much

You were with me for so long, through so much

I thought

That after the long and arduous process

Of hammering at this ceramic

To chip away the layers

And let my face feel the sun

You would rejoice as I did at seeing my face

But instead I have to wonder if you ever loved me in the first place

And chip you off of my heart

[miya-rin]

“what the fuck do you two think youre doing?”

shit, you think, you didnt notice the balcony door had been slid open until you heard the voice of one of your brothers. you start to pull away from suna’s lips which earns you a small whine from his end, his grip tightens around you and honestly it its quite cute the way he is trying so hard to savour the moment. “come back later, we’re kinda busy.” the boy mutters before trying to move your face away from the distraction so that he can kiss you once more.

“suna you get your hands off of her right now, i dont give a fuck that its your birthday.” osamu pipes up, he looks furious and a little bit disgusted, if it hadnt been for the situation youre in right now you would think its kind of funny.

“samu lay off him, it was a mutual agreement, im just as guilty as he is ok?” that does not seem to help the boys understand, if anything they seem even more angry with you both.

“what the fuck do you mean it was a mutual agreement? are you two hooking up or something? yn he just turned 18 a few hours ago are you forgetting that?” atsumu says, he is rambling on with every excuse he can think of as to why this is “so wrong”, from the corner of your eye you can see suna trying so very hard to hide the grin that is creeping its way onto his face, his hands still all over you despite the fact that you arent alone anymore.

“listen, it was his birthday wish ok? i swear it didn’t mean anything,” sunas grip begins to loosen ever so slightly, “i just though it would get him off my back and get him over his little crush on me.” suna’s facial expression shifts but you choose to ignore it, you have bigger problems to deal with at the moment.

“no this is not ok, how would you feel if me or samu kissed one of your friends because it was their birthday wish?”

“that’s different, why would my friends want to kiss either of you?”

“excuse me? ill have you know that many women want to kiss me! and dont think youre getting off the hook either suna, ill make sure you never-“ you dont even want to hear the threat that is about to come out of his mouth, you just want to get out of this shitty situation.

“boys please, just give us five minutes to talk and then we will be back inside ok? i promise.” your efforts to plead with your brothers finally work.

“…fine,” atsumu mumbles, “but this better be a one time thing. im not gonna deal with you two being all lovey dovey around me.” and with that he lightly tugs on osamu’s sleeve, signalling him to walk back inside and continue the party. he closes the balcony door but not before bringing two fingers up to his eyes and then pointing them at the two of you. its a warning.

you turn back to suna and notice the sad look on his face - he looks kinda cute like this, “so, what do-“.

“did you really mean what you just said to them?” the poor boy looks heartbroken, after waiting three years to finally have a chance with the girl he loves wants the moment is ruined like that? “did you actually just do that so i would leave you alone?” his hands fully leave your body now and he takes a step back to put some distance between you two.

“well i mean sort of yeah… ive never looked at you in any way other than my brothers best friend if im going to be honest, i dont know if thats because of the age difference or what but ive never thought we could be anything.” the look of hurt is prominent on his face no matter how hard he tries to hide it, normally playful banter would have been thrown back and forth between the two of you but rintarou just stays silent, an indication that youve fucked up.

“listen suna i dont know what you want me to say, i wasnt really thinking when i said that to atsumu it just came out. i am 4 years older than you and many people would not approve of us if i decided to give you a chance.”

“who cares? i could treat you so right if you would just let me. i have waited entirely too long for this moment, all im asking for is one date.”

“you said that about the kiss too, one thing is never enough with you is it? you always need more.” a playful smile creeps onto your face which is outshined by the one on sunas, he knows that your smile means that you agree to go on a date with him.

“i really hope you arent fucking with me right now, that would be so cruel, especially on my birthday.”

“oh give the birthday excuse a rest now will you? you dont need to keep on at me you have already got what you want.”

“mhm i absolutely have,” he walks closer and once again wraps his arms around you, placing a hand under your jawbone to make you look up at him, “and i couldnt be happier.” he states as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss once more <3

[tthoughtdaughter]

bad habits.

pairing: dealer!ellie x reader.

summary: when you were a kid you had always put a pillow or a big stuffed animal between your legs, you honestly felt comfort by it. but tonight you decided it was going to be somebodies head.

warnings: uh widely ellie giving head?, use of drugs, girls kissing 🤯, swearing, a little bit of dacryphilia, pretty self-indulgent i know its weird im sorry — MINORS DNI !!

a/n: just because the strikes ended does not mean you shouldnt stop posting about palestine!

———————

you were helpless, depressed even. being locked up in your dorm for god knows how long. your friends had been nagging you about various parties on campus, you simply just left them on read, not wanting to deal with the aftermath of the party.

it wasnt until now that you had decided to go. not because you wanted to, you were going against your own will.

your friends, isabella, mattie and thea were forcing you out of your dorm because the state you were in right now was just honestly disgusting.

you were packing a bag to go over to isabellas house because they werent letting you stay in that dorm for a minute more, when thea said. “youve been stuck in here for forever, we havent seen you in awhile, we miss you girl.”

you sighed, reaching over to your closet to find an outfit appropriate for tonight. “look i know, things just havent been the best right now.” you didnt bother to look back because you know all thats going to be written on their faces will be pity.

“can you guys help me pick an outfit atleast?” they squeal, marching over to you before yanking you out of their ways.

mattie held up a dress, it was pink, delicate, something you would were on a picnic.

“dude, thats so basic.” isabella called out from the side, rolling her eyes at matties choice.

“i dont wear stuff like this— how would i fucking know?” she huffed.

“calm down guys, why dont we let ms depresso give us an idea of what she wants?” thea shouts over the teo annoyingly loud girls.

“i— depresso? seriously? not even funny.” you roll your eyes before pulling up pinterest on your phone, you always managed to find decent outfits off of the app.

you typed in ‘party outfits aesthetic.’ before you landed on something similar you had in your closet.

the outfit had a mini, mini, mini, mini black skirt paired with a black lettuce-cut, corset bralette looking thingy and just below that, knee-high boots. you admit it, you looked hot as fuck.

“damn girl, if i were gay id definitely hit you up.” way to go isabella, way to go.

“oh please youre totally into girls, youre acting like you dont eye that dina girl everytime we walk around her area on campus.” mattie adds.

isabella did everything in her will power to ignore the comment, but she couldnt help but blush.

the look of approval shot around the room was hilarious and you all burst out into laughter. you really havent felt this good in awhile.

quickly memorising the girl mattie had mentioned before, you could remember she would always be hanging around with someone else.

“hey, any of you know the girl dina hangs with? i cant think of her name.” you think hard, like really hard, you knew the girl was attractive from all the times you had seen her since isabella coincidentally hung there too.

“yeah, her names ellie, i buy from her sometimes. why, you got the hots for her?” thea teases.

“just shut up and give me her insta.” you roll your eyes, playfully shoving the girl as the two others made ‘oooooh’ sounds.

“fine, just give me a second.” thea whips out her phone and starts going through her following. she clicks on a profile and holds the phone up to you so you could get a good look.

her account was private, by the looks of it she had a batman smoking weed profile picture? interesting.. her user was ‘@ellieisawesome327.’

sounds like a name some 5 year old would put on secretly. “oh, interesting.” you couldnt help but giggle, she obviously wasnt the best at using this stuff.”

you pulled out your phone and searched for her user, you didnt follow it just yet, you thought it would be creepy since she didnt know you at all. you simply just kept the name in the search bar, ready for when you actually want to follow her.

———————

a few hours had passed and you all had gotten done up, makeup, hair, outfits, everything you would do before a party.

“whos car we taken’?” mattie asked. you and the others looked at her like she was some idiot.

“theres only one car in the driveway, take a guess numbskull?” thea pointed out, mattie pouted.

“rude.” she huffed. turning around to scroll on tiktok.

you were sitting on the bed, getting comfy since the party wasnt for another hour, when you spotted one of isabellas pillow. you had put it between your legs, you found some comfort in doing that ever since you were a kid, it was a weird and bad habit.

“whatre ya’ doin silly?” isabella pointed out, she sort of new you had this weird habit of putting things between your legs.

“getting comfy, what does it look like?” you roll your eyes, scrolling through your instagram feed.

“if you actually want something between your legs, try and get head tonight.” isabella added. it was a harmless joke, your group had always joked like this. you toned out the muffled giggles in the back thinking if you should actually get laid tonight.

it had been awhile since you had had sex, and it was getting annoying hearing everyones ‘wild’ stories.

you tool the pillow out from between your legs and threw it back into its position it was in before.

“you guys think we should get going? the parties in twenty minutes.” thea said. you all nodded and got up from your positions to march off to the car.

the drive was ten minutes, you put on your group playlist, it was made for roadtrips you guys took every once and awhile. but tonight you just needed to hear something other then their voices.

you were all vibing to the music when it eventually came to a stop. you sighed and got out of the car, shivering as the cold wind hit your very exposed body.

everyone walked in, it wasnt exactly packed, but you hesitated and mattie noticed that.

mattie was the average femme grouped masc. the one to carry around the shopping bags when you went shopping kind of girl. she was sweet, there were times where you had found yourself harmlessly crushing over her. she knew you had a bit of anxiety and offered you some of her meds before leaving but you kindly declined.

now obviously regretting your decision, she gripped onto your hand and squeezed it tight, for reassurance. you smiled and walked in with the others.

———————

it had been 2 hours and the group had split, isa probably off eating dinas face off, mattie chatting with some of the guys from a basketball team she had played against when faking being a guy as a dare, and thea off buying or even selling drugs. you were sat on a dusty old couch, not exactly wasted but definitely not sober.

you hadnt noticed you were sitting next to the girl whos instagram you were stalking earlier. but the realisation hit when you smelt weed from her direction.

she was very obviously eye fucking you, she wasnt even shy about it, it couldve been the weed that was in her system or she was wildly bold.

“hey?” you started off your soon long to be conversation.

“hi.” she was caught off guard when she realised you were talking to her.

“ellie right?” she nodded and you exchanged your name to her, along with numbers. you sat back further into the couch, parting your legs a little giving her a slight view of what was under you skirt. you enjoyed the fact that she was looking. a little smirk appeared on your face and she didnt notice it.

“my friend thea buys from you right?” she snapped her head up to look into your eyes. you noticed the green in her eyes under the blue hue of the lights in the room. she nodded,

“yeah why? wanna buy from me?” you shook your head.

“kinda tight on money right now, i would though.” you sighed, resting your head on your hand.

she thought for a minute. “ill share a blunt with you, only coz’ youre cute.” she winked and you blushed.

“oh, thanks..” you stare off awkwardly waiting for her to light it, she was wondering if she made you uncomfortable.

“s—sorry, didnt mean to make you uncomfortable.” you shook your head a smiled before she handed you the joint.

you took a puff and handed it back to her, waiting a bit before exhaling. you noticed she was manspreading. then you noticed she didnt quite look like any other girls that were at the party, very masculine. is she lesbian? no surely not, maybe she just likes being comfortable.

ellie was wearing a worn-out jacket, joels. she wore it everywhere she went.

she caught you staring at the position she was in, fighting the urge to spread them further. you noticed she was holding back from something and looked up at her, oh shit she caught you.

a shit eating grin was plastered on her face. “you ‘kay?” she asked, the same smug expression written all over her face.

you nodded and took the blunt out of her hand. you were blushing under the dim lights in the corner, the rest of the place was filled with colourful lights changing every second.

she started blushing too, she didnt know why. you looked up to her with parted lips. the high kind of kicking in now.

“can i.. kiss you?” you asked softly. you regretted that so hard, fuck fuck fuck she probably doesnt like girls..

she moved closer, draping a hand over your shoulder. “thought youd never ask.” she smirked before smashing her lips onto yours.

the kiss was hungry, like she was desperate for something, you couldnt quite place your tongue on it. the only thing placed on your tongue right now was hers. you kissed her back with just as much passion.

the moans you let out were absolutely pornographic. ellie knew she had to do something about this, stopping the kiss whilst you let out a whine from the lack of attention.

you were borderline wet, like waterpark wet, and it wasnt helping that you were wearing a flimsy skirt that had rode up in the process.

“cmon’ princess.” she took your hand, you felt a bit clumsy for some reason, dizzy, your head was foggy, only thinking about how good she tasted.

you followed her around as she knocked on various locked rooms. finally breaking one open, she slammed it shut, locking it and pressing you up against it. not to hard though, wouldnt wanna hurt your pretty little head.

“fuck, youre so goddamn hot.” she mumbled between kisses. you couldnt help but moan at how turned on she made you feel.

she pushed her knee up between your thighs and you shivered, grinding down onto it. chasing the very needed friction.

you wondered how such an innocent question like ‘can i kiss you?’ turned into you riding on her knee.

“els’, please..” that shit eating grin reappeared on her face and you just wanted to smack it right off, you rolled your eyes. your words and wetness only boosted her ego more.

“please what baby?” she teased. why was she teasing you? you couldnt take it. tears started bubbling in your eyes.

“please just— fuck me.” you mumble out. she liked the sight of you crying, so desperate for her. she was going to tease you more before you actually got what you wanted.

“what was that?” she smirked.

you looked up at her through teary eyes. “can you, uh— go down on me? please?” you were begging, that was a sight.

she pulled you over to the bed, through the dimly light room. “strip.”

you did as she said, it wasnt hard to take off your clothes since there was barely anything on you. first your top, leaving you in a skimpy black lacy bra to match your underwear. then came the boots and skirt.

finally, leaving you in a two piece set. she was waiting patiently for you to take them off. you dont know why you were so hesitant, maybe it was because you hadnt done this in awhile, or maybe it was because her stare was so intense it made your stomach do flips, distracting you from the easy task.

she walked over to help you since you couldnt finish what you had started. “d�� you want this?” you nodded painfully slow.

she peeled off your underwear, holding them up to get a good look before back down to your now bare cunt. it was dripping at the sight of her.

“s’ wet for me princess.” she smirked once more, if she smirked anymore her face would probably get stuck like that.

then came the bra, she asked you to turn around so she could unclip it, she was slightly struggling since she wasnt used to these fancy bras, only because she wears a sports bra.

you giggled and reached your arms behind you to take it off, turning around to leave her ogling at the sight of you.

“youre so beautiful.” you blushed, hard. she looked up at you for some sort of reassurance and you nodded.

a minute ago she was so dominant and now shes sweeter than a cookie. you adored that.

she reached her hands out to cup your tits, so soft, she thought. squeezing them and pinching your now hardened, pebbled nipples.

she elicited a moan out of you. you sat back on the bed for comfort and she dived into them. sucking harshly on your tits.

you couldnt tell if you hated it or loved it, your monas were telling her otherwise.

she left purple marks all over your neck, tits, stomach, anywhere she could mark really. you were huffing, all you needed her to do was touch you down there.

“patience baby.” she replied to your subtle huffs. you rolled your eyes, pleading with your body language as you rolled your hips into nothing.

her head moved down slowly, taking time with your body as if you werent some one night stand. did she actually like you?

she kissed all over your stomach and you felt giddy, you were giggling at how it tickled.

the she dipped her head low, taking in how soaked you were. the whole time you had been rubbing your thighs together. any subtle touch made you go crazy.

she fully dived in, and you moaned her name out, loud enough to here over the booming music. “e-els!” she teased your clit with her tongue, licking a stripe down, giving your clit kitten kisses.

her tongue reached places your fingers couldn’t surprisingly. you couldnt stop panting. it felt like heaven.

your vision was going blurry, white, if the coil in your belly bubbled anymore it was going to snap. “ellie.. i—im gonna!..” she moaned into your pussy, sending hypnotising vibrations into it.

“i know baby, come for me.” those words was the thing that snapped the bubbling coil.

you felt hot slick pool out of you, she lapped up all she could, almost overstimulating you. you were panting.

she got up and laid beside you, toying with your plush tits. you could almost fall asleep right then and there.

“alright,” she patted your thigh. “i gotta get going, heres my number though.” she pulled out a random piece of paper from her pocket and a pen. had she been preparing for this? you thought. she handed you the note like a little kindergartener and put her shirt back on.

you had the sudden urge to shove a pillow between your legs, whining from the loss. you fought back everything in you to shove the pillow that was staring at you between your legs. you watched ellie leave,

she left you on the bed looking back at you to smile before closing the door behind you. you eventually got up and put your clothes on, walking over to the bathroom that was in the small room to fix up your hair and makeup.

you realised your hand was still clutching that little piece of paper. you looked at it and read it slowly, still regaining composure.

‘**** **** **** **** message me ;) x’

you probably werent going to message her, but just incase, you slipped the note into your purse and walked out of the room going to look for you friends to take them home, luckily ellie had sobered you up.

———————

a/n: im sorry the ending actually sucks i was getting sick of this and i needed to get it out of my drafts. should i turn it into a series were reader actually messages ellie? idk.

[artdcnaldson]

UGH ok twist my arm i guess!!!! as a little treat!!!! dr donaldson <3

so gynecologist art, yall, doctor donaldson. cat and i were in the dms TRUST. so art decides that he should probably have a backup plan, just in case tennis doesnt work out after college. he doesnt expect to actually need it because his tennis is going great, hes on track to go pro very soon. but JUST in case, he decides to use his good grades to study some kind of medicine. initially he had thought some kind of sports medicine, if nothing else then it would be good knowledge for himself down the line.

but after his grandma passes (not of a stroke) and he hears his family discussing how if only her gynecologist had paid better attention and taken her serious she might have lived longer (idk anything about medicine but probably some kind of cancer yknow?). anyway he sees that a his motivation and picks gynecology as his field. patrick absolutely teases him to death over it, "you're gonna be a pussy doctor? what so you just get to look at naked chicks all day? i'd quit tennis for that too". again he's not really expecting to need it, so he doesnt take it too hard. but he's kind of obviously the only guy in the course, and the girls all think he's kind of weird for wanting to pursue a field of medicine that isnt relevant to him. but after him telling the story about his grandmother they all coo and comfort him that its okey and they understand.

he does well in all his classes because he does truly find it interesting and wants to do his best to help women. but as he's getting ready to go pro, he has an accident on the court, as he's going to return a long ball he twists his ankle and takes a bad fall. his recovery is good, but his ankle will never be as it was before, and his chances of the big tennis dream slowly dies. and ultimately he's just unwilling to spend his life as a struggling tennis player, when he could be making a real difference.

now that he has his own practice he likes to tell that story to his new patients, especially the ones who seem tense with the fact that he's a man, who will be examining their most private area. it does well to ease their minds. hes been doing this for many years now, he enjoys the work, and the women who come to him are happy with his work. his patients are typically slightly older women, as they're not as phased by a male gynecologist, whereas most younger women arent as comfortable with the idea. he doesnt mind that, in fact he understands perfectly. honestly hes grateful for it, he fears the day he might have a patient whos just a bit too attractive and he'll have to struggle to keep his cool.

that day unfortunately comes sooner than he had hoped. its your first appointment with him after having him recommended by a friend, you had contacted him and told him how you were very unhappy with your current doctor and wanted to try something else. not having had a male doctor before, except like your dentist, youre very nervous for the appointment. not knowing what to expect from it, or how seriously he will take your issues. out of nervous habit youve gotten ready for the appointment as if it were a date rather than a clinical exam. showered, shaved, cute panties, hair and makeup done. its all totally unnecessary, but the moment you see him for the first time you thank the divine for looking your absolute best. GOD hes so hot. far too hot to be a doctor. lets just say that he wears scrubs because theyre so sexy, and they truly are criminally flattering on him. he sits on his chair, typing away as youre lead into the room by an assistant. as soon as he looks up and asks you to have a seat with him, you both know youre screwed. the tension is immediately noticeable as you discuss your reason for coming in, just a routine check because your last doctor wouldnt do it thorough enough and didnt listen enough to your issues.

he leaves the room while you strip off and leave your clothes in a neat little pile, panties clearly on top in the hope that he'll see them and think theyre cute. and he does, in fact his eyes keep fluttering to them as hes getting ready for the exam. he has to adjust his chair a little lower in the hopes that you cant see that he's getting hard. meanwhile youre going from soaking to sopping wet as you watch him put on the latex gloves, snapping them against his wrist.

he can tell that you're tense, but as its your first appointment with a male gynecologist, he assumes thats the reason, and not the fact that youre mortifyingly wet. he tries to calm your nerves by telling you what he'll be doing, he sits right in front of you on his chair and tells you how first he'll examine externally, just checking for anything irregular. then an internal exam with the same purpose, and then finally a physical exam where he will just have to feel your tummy as well as your pelvis to ensure everything is as it should be. totally routine stuff, nothing out of the ordinary, if anything hes far more attentive and careful to make sure youre comfortable. but the way hes saying it, his voice and the way he's looking at you has you clenching your thighs shut and trying to keep yourself from making a puddle on the table.

as he gathers his tools he asks you to place your legs in the stirrups, he sees you struggling a little to get your right leg properly in place, he gently grabs your leg and helps you place it properly. goosebumps cover you leg as he pulls his hand away again. you can feel how wet you are as youre not totally exposed to him, dripping wet, youve been less wet when hooking up with people. this is just from interacting with him briefly, really its embarrassing. hes so sweet asking if everythings alright, and if he can do anything to help you relax. and after squeezing your eyes shut and holding your breath for a second you finally get out that you just feel like youre really wet, and youre not youre not sure why, this doesnt usually happen. hes so sweet, trying to reassure you, telling you its perfectly normal. its a natural response from your body, if anything its a sign that youre healthy!

hes not lying, he really does mean what hes saying, it is good and it is normal. but hes never seen anyone be quite this wet during an appointment in his office. youre soaked, its practically dripping onto the table and forming a puddle. if he was sporting a semi under the table he might have referred you to a different doctor. but youre so pretty he cant help himself.

he really does try his best to stay professional and not let his attraction crack through and distract from his work. but fuck youre so tight around his latex covered fingers when hes doing the exam. and you only squeeze down tighter when he tries to reassure you, tell you youre doing good. its making it hard for him to focus on the task at hand. it takes everything in him to keep his hands from drifting and moving to find those sweet spots inside of you. he doesnt have to deprive himself for long tho as he accidentally brushed against your gspot. his cheeks turn bright pink as he hears a tiny moan escape your lips. and youd been so good at keeping them in the whole time too. but this one couldnt be contained. he stays good, doesnt say anything, just carries on with his work. but he almost lets out a moan of his own as he sees the ring of cream gathered around his gloved fingers.

he takes his work very seriously and he doesnt take the idea of losing his medical license due to malpractice lightly, so he wouldnt be just giving in to his urges. his resolve breaking doent come lightly, its a big deal to him. he goes home that day and jerks off in the shower while thinking about you, he knows exactly what your pussy looks like, what it feels like, how soaking wet you got for him. he cums again in his bed and humps his mattress while dreaming about you. he wakes up and decided he needs to see you again. asks his assistant to set up another appointment with you. when he asks what for, he stutters and says something about needing to do some tests just to be sure of something. hes lying, obviously, but he needs to see you again. he cant stop thinking about your tight little cunt...

-🐞

ladybug your mind amazes me... <3

He can't risk medical malpractice, and he really is a good doctor, he loves his work, he wants to help people. And he's really never, ever reacted this way to a patient before, but god, he can't get you out of his mind.

So maybe he schedules a follow up for a week later. Maybe his heart is racing and his palms sweat when he walks into the examination room and sees you in the little fabric gown, hands in your lap, worrying your lip between your teeth.

He feels like a nervous teenager on a first date, not a fucking healthcare professional.

He listens to you speak about your concerns, walks through your test results from the week prior. Everything looks good, he says. Nothing felt abnormal, your body is working just how it's supposed to. Do you have any questions for me?

You shake your head, sweet and shy, aching for an excuse to get his hands on you again, but running low on things you can ask for.

[t3ag3rs]

g e n s o - 0 4.

gosh this is going to be a long year..

you let out a sigh while resting your head on your hands, observing the class yelling. the blue haired guy with a stick up his ass from the presentation was currently yelling at bakugou. sadly, he sat at the left of you and was currently getting and earful for putting his legs on the desk. honestly though.. it wasnt even that big of a deal for him to be yelling like that.

you let out a small laugh as you saw deku turn a bright red once he saw uraraka. oh my gosh hes down badddd..... im so gonna tease him about this later on.

"if your just here to make friends then you can pack up your stuff now." said a stoic voice from behind deku and uraraka. "welcome to UAs hero course" continued the same voice before unzipping himself from the sleeping bag he had on and standing up. 

"it took 8 seconds for you all to shut up and thats not gonna work, time is precious. any rational student would understand that" he explained walking into the class. you turned your focus to the male talking. 

"hello im shota aizawa, your teacher. alright lets get to it, put these on and head outside." you walked up and grabbed a uniform before heading into the locker room to change.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you widen your eyes as you find out you have to do a quirk assessment test, goddamnt..! i just finally started recovering from the entrance exam and i have to use my quirk again?  

"but how about orientation? we're gonna miss it!" exclaimed uraraka, "to be the best of the best you cant waste time on pointless things, here at UA i get to run my class the way i want to." said mr. aizawa, "youve been taking standardized tests all of your lives" he pulled up his phone, "but youve never been able to use you quirks on those exams before."

"the country is still trying to pretend we're created all equal by not letting those with the most power excel- its not rational. one day the ministry of education will learn... bakugou you managed to get the most points on the entrance exam- what was your farthest distance thrown with the softball when you were in junior high?" he asked looking at him.

"67 meters i think" replied bakugou and you rolled your eyes, god hes a try hard... "right. try doing it with your quirk now."

bakugou walked up and stood in the middle of the circle on the feild. "whatever happens just stay in the circle.. go on, your wasting our time." added mr. aizawa.

"alright.. you asked for it" bakugou stretched his arms before throwing it with an explosion. you rolled your eyes knowing he did that to make the others look. 

"all of you need to know your full potential in order to become better versions of yourselves." he held up his phone to show the distance that bakugou had thrown the softball revealing 705.2 meters.

everyone around you started commenting in awe of his score, but you werent impressed, ill make sure i beat that score just to deflate his ego.

"so this looks fun huh..?" you turned your attention back to the teacher, "you have three years here to become a hero. if you think its going to be all fun and games your wrong. idiots..." he let out a smirk, "today youll be competing in 8 physical tests to engage your potential, whoever comes in last has none and will be expelled immediately." your eyes widen in shock, can he even do that??

"like i said.. i get to decide how this class runs. understand?" you gulped but nodded. "if thats a problem you can head home right now."

"you cant send one of us home! i mean, we just got here!" complained uraraka, "even if it wasnt the first day, that isnt fair!" you looked down, complaining isnt going to do anything right now, but she has a good point.

"and you think natural disasters are? power hungry villians? hm? or accidents that wipe out whole cities? no- the world is full of unfairness. its a heroes job to try and fight that unfairness, if you wanna be a pro your going to have to push yourself to the brink. for the next three years UA is going to throw one hardship after another at you. so go beyond- plus ultra style. show me its no mistake your here."

you clenched your fists, you had to prove yourself today by doing the most you could in these tests.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

the first test was the 50 meter dash, you silently thanked yourself for increasing your cardio as you readied yourself. "runners! on your mark, get set, go!" you sprinted and let the earth beneath you propel yourself forward getting you in first place out of the people you were with. "4.002 seconds!" said the bot next to you, you smirked as you beat bakugous time.

the next test was the grip strength test. you didnt have much to help you with this so you had to think creatively, maybe i could get some rock to surround my hand and use that to add on the pressure of my grip... i have no idea if thatll even work..!

you let out a sigh as the highest you got was 190 kilograms. if thats the best i can get thats fine i guess... ill just have to make it up with the other tests...

the third test was the standing long jump, you smiled as you could use your fire to push yourself forward in this test. you jumped and let your fire push you forward, smiling as you landed on the other side of the pit. 

that was way better than the last test thankfully!

the fourth test was the repeated side steps. you decided to use your earthbending to build walls on either side of you and use air to move yourself side to side. it wasnt your best test, but definitely wasnt your worst one. (cough grip test cough)

the fifth test was the ball throw, you stood in the circle and swung your arm in big circles before grabbing the ball and readying your self to swing as hard as you could. throwing the ball, you left your arm out to let the air continue its throw until you felt yourself running out of air. you let out a proud smile as you saw your result of 1,890 meters.

you turned toward bakugou and made eye contact with him, but resisted the urge in smirking at how you beat him by a long shot. 

you let out a gasp as deku went and saw how his ball barely went far. "i erased your quirk- someone like you should never be able to enroll in this school. the judges who were selecting students werent rational enough when picking you." suddenly deku spoke up, "i know you- you can look at someone and cancel out their powers! the eraser hero- eraserhead!"

you chuckled as the rest of the students had no clue who he was, of course deku would know who he was. 

"your not ready- you have no control over your power. are you just going to break your bones again?" deku let out a defensive disagreement, "you will be nothing because of how reckless you are. your worthless if all it takes is one punch for you to become broken." you stepped up.

"um.. excuse me! look sorry to interrupt, but i think your taking this a bit too far! he has just as much of potential as the rest of us, and he definitely has more heroism than any of us combined! im not saying this to argue with you, but im just saying you should give him a fair try like the rest of us." you explained sticking up for deku.

mr. aizawa let go of deku, "go on and get it over with, dont waste our time." you looked over and gave him a smile before giving him a thumbs up. he walked back to the middle of the circle and took in a deep breath before he swung his arm and threw it with enough force to create a gust of wind. you widened your eyes in shock and smiled, there we go!

you looked at the phone to see his distance of 705.3 meters, one tenth more than bakugous score. you smiled happily knowing he mustve been scathing on the inside for how he scored lower than deku.

"mr. aizawa.." you turned to see deku making a fist with his broken finger, "you see.. im still standing!" "this kid..." replied aizawa with widened eyes and an unsettling smile.

"HEY! DEKU! YOU BASTARD, TELL ME HOW YOU DID THAT OR YOUR DEAD!" yelled bakugou as he charged toward deku, you quickly stepped forward to try and prevent bakugou before he was held back by aizawas scarf. "stand down, i would be wise to make not make me use my quirk so much.. it gives me serious dry eye. your wasting my time now.. whoevers next can step up." he let go of bakugou and walked away.

you watched as deku ran away from bakugou as he just stood their frustrated. 

you finished up the last couple of tests that were just based off of physical ability and scored well enough for each of them. you let out a smile as you saw the results and saw yourself in third place, one place higher than bakugou. 

thats what that asswipe deserves.. i hope he never forgets this..

"and i was lying- no one is going home. that was just a way to make sure you gave it your all" mr. aizawa added smiling, you let out a sound of happiness, glad deku didnt have to be expelled.

"that was pretty nerve-wracking if im being honest.." said a black haired boy, "nah.. im always down for a challenge!" said the red haired boy from the presentation. "oh i remember you!" he said pointing at you, you smiled and waved. "your quirk is so cool dude! you managed to score third place out of us all!" you laughed and scratched your neck, "haha.. its not the best i couldve done... but thank you!"

"thats all for today, grab the syllabus from the class, and read it before tomorrow morning." added aizawa before walking away. you turned back to the red haired boy, "im ejirou kirishima, your y/n l/n right?" you nodded, "howd you know?" he laughed, "everyone knows about that stunt you pulled during the practical exam.." you blushed before looking down, "ahhh.. thats so embarrassing..!"

"nah, i thought it was pretty manly of you!" he praised while you both walked back into the building. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you changed out of your training outfit, and put back on your uniform before getting ready to head out. "hey y/n!" you turned around to see kirishima and a pink skinned girl behind you. "oh.. hey!" they walked beside you, "heya! im mina ashido!" the girl introduced while grabbing your arm. you let out a smile as she did so, "im y/n l/n if you havent already heard.." she laughed, "nah i already know who you are! the badass who totally kicked the zero pointers ass!" she exclaimed. 

"as you can see shes very energetic.." sighed out kirishima from the other side of you, you laughed before adding, "its alright though.. it makes her stand out in a way.."

you walked home with them laughing and exchanging numbers. you couldnt believe how nice and chill they were. 

could this be the year things finally get better for you?

previous parts: pt. 0 0 / pt. 0 1 / pt. 02 / pt. 03 next parts: pt. 0 5 / pt. 0 6 / pt. 0 7 / pt. 0 8 / pt. 0 9 / pt. 10 / pt. 11 / pt. 12 / pt. 13 / pt. 14 / pt. 15

[kenlvry]

kenny x reader

an,ok so this smut ws originally sanzus.. but wtv sanzu = kenny, i hope its not cringy.this is a oneshot btw

summary: you promised kenny you'd be home by 1am but you got ahead of yourself and went home at 3, poor boy is waiting on you

cw; pure smut, afab, you both live tgt

it was 3 am , you were on your way home fearing for your life because youve told kenny that youd be home by 1:40. you were standing right infront of your house heart beating fast.

you opened your door extremely slowly trying to make less noise possible ,the lights were turned off so you were sure he was asleep, you let out a big sigh and dropping your bag on the floor.

going to the kitchen to grab a drink because of how tired you were. you were hanging out with your friends for so long you lost track of time you felt sorry for kenny and was going to apologize in the morning. as you were drinking your water you didn't realize the footsteps behind you ,completely oblivious. suddenly you felt hands around your waist and someone resting their face on your shoulders, you slightly jump but quickly realised it was kenny, he had his parka off and was wearing his shirt and sweatpants.

"you said one am." you smiled, he was so cute. "im sorry , i didnt know i would take a lot longer" you said while you kissed kennys forehead "ive been waiting for so long, aren't you worried about me?" "im so sorry ken, yk i didn't do it on purpose" "missed you sm" he turn you around making you face him

"don't you miss me?" you hummed at the question. he slammed his lips against yours kissing you roughly ,biting your bottom lip slightly pulling on it. he pulled away with a string of drool can be seen connecting your lips. "you look so pretty" he said to you before pulling you in for another rough kiss , the space between your bodies being taken away as you pushed yourself closer to him making your cunt slightly grinding his cock , he let out a small grunt and pulled away from the kiss , "so eager are you?' he started kissing your neck leaving hickeys to mark himself.

slowly took of my clothes leaving me with a bra "so pretty." he started kissing inbetween your boobs yet again leaving hickeys making you let out a small moan. the feeling was amazing that you didnt even realise you were grinding your cunt near to his , every grind leaving him groaning or grunting.

"i cant wait anymore" kenny said as he kissed you again this time grabbing your thighs up to his waist and putting you on the countertop. the kiss got more rough , he picked you up by the thighs not breaking the kiss, going up the stairs he started kissing your neck again leaving new hickeys, before you knew it you were in your bedroom,him on top of you.

he unclipped your bra taking it off. staring a while before he put one of your buds in his mouth licking and sucking on it , a moan leaving your mouth. he was also grinding on you making you whimper. stopping to take off his pants leaving his boxers on, it was painlessly obvious he was hard.

not taking off his boxer instead he took off your pants and slowly taking youd panties, your wet cunt revealing to him "oh? already wet? we just started." kenny said to you smirking and winking as he pulled of his boxers and went down to take a closer on your pussy.

pushing one finger in, you bit your lip suppressing your moans. he glared up at you "its 3am, nobody is awake be as loud as you want". he looked at you and you nodded at him giving permission to put another one in, he slammed his second finger in making you let out a moan still trying to be quiet, kenny curled his fingers and start pushing his finger in and out, yet again another small moan leaving your mouth.

his fingers was slim and long.you clenched around his finger making him groan at the feeling "fuck kenny about to c-" your sentence got cut off as he roughly slammed his finger in you making you orgasm with a loud moan and pants, your cum dripping on his fingers. he pulled out his finger and licked his finger with your liquid on it.

he leaned in and start kissing your pussy giving it kitten licks. eating you out his tongue exploring inside of your pussy making you moan loudly at how good he is. you pushed his head deeper and grabbing onto his hair. with your back arching you cummed again, panting at the second orgasm of the night.

kenny pulled his face away and forcing you too watch him licking your cum on his lips. he couldnt wait anymore, he was basically dripping for you. he pulled his boxers down revealing his long cock, precum leaking.

without hesitation he slammed his cock in your pussy. you let out a loud moan and kenny slightly groaning. he had his hands on your hips as leverage, thrusting his hips into you. he looked at your fucked out expression smirking to himself knowing he was making you feel good.

kenny is a very vocal during sex, he's moaning louder than you. he has no shame, the moans are so loud it rattles your ears.

he lifted up your legs putting them behind his shoulders, he now holds your thighs for leverage. this position was making him deeper and it felt amazing for both of you. "shit, i think 'm bout to cum" he groans as the tip of his cock bruises along your cervix.

"fuck feels so good" kenny is blabbering nonsense and it was so cute. you felt your high and clench around him making him almost bottom out, his thrusts grew faster and harder. your moans were getting louder and if people didn't hear you before they surely heard you now.pulling you in for a kiss. your hands on his head pulling on it. he thrusted again making you cum for the 3rd time tonight. you laid back down on your bed sweating and panting. he pulled out stroking his cock and cummed on your abdomen.

his breaths were short "wish i could have this view forever" he stared at you, you smiled at him "oh , we're not done just yet" he smirked laying down and pulling you up to straddle him. you two are going to have one long night.

[sinteez]

seonghwa x reader

seonghwa  x reader 

Merman x hunter

In a world full of mystical creatures humans and creatures used to live in harmony that was until a creature turned his back on them making them now rivals. You have been raised by your father as unfortunately a creature had killed your mother making you and your father despise the creatures so it turned you into what you are today.HUNTERS.

Today was an fun day for you as every weekend you are always out with your father and you very much enjoyed it because it was the only time he would stop talking about mystical creatures. Yes you hated them but every now and then it got annoying hearing the same things repeated over and over again. However you did enjoy the fishing lake but not as much as the beach… the fishing lake was very deep and there was a tunnel leading to the sea so youve always wondered what things could be living there.

As soon as you got to the lake cabin your father owned you you smiled getting out of the car and started walking towards your room “ hey y/n are you not going to come for lunch with your old father?” your father spoke to you practically pouting making you laugh at him “yesfather ill just get dressed and ill go get lunch with you” you answered back making your dad have a huge smile on his face. You walked upstairs and immediately put your bagon the floor next to your bed and sighed “ill come back for you later my friend” you spoke to your bed wanting nothing more than to just fall asleep from the long car ride. Once you got changed you headed downstairs to your father taping his shoulder making him turn around and smile at you “oh my dear you look beautiful” your father spoke out making you smile from ear to ear and thanking him before you both headed out to the cafe and getting something to eat.

You and your father had the time of your lives catching up on everything and even talking about some old past memories you used to have here. When you got home you immediately walked to your bedroom getting some clothes and went for a shower. Coming out of the shower you did what you do every night and start reading before feeling your eyes getting slightly heavy falling asleep till the next day.

You wake up the sun blinding you as you forgot to close your curtains after reading your book last night. Looking around you getting up out of bed to walk out to the balcony of your room taking in deep breaths and looking at the clear white blue sky. This was one of the reasons you still came here … you enjoyed nature actually you loved nature always wanting to be outside wether or not the weather is good or bad youd always love what the world gives you and you thinking this let a smile creep up on your face.

You stretched and heard your dad calling for you so you hurriedly closed your doors but leaving them slightly open before running downstairs meeting a huge smiling father “good morning father how are you?” you asked before sitting down and started eating what you assume your father had cooked up for you like he did every morning. “Good morning my pumpkin did you sleep well?” your father asked making youtube and nod “ i did father i hope you did too … isnt it beautiful weather outside?” you asked your father knowing he also liked nature he nodded and chucked “ ofc course y/n … i was thinking… why dont we go fishing today?” your father asked you making you stand up excitedly and nod. You loved spending time with your father but sometimes with his work its hard to do so any chance given youd always take it. As soon as you stood up you headed upstairs putting on some comfy clothes and headed back downstairs. “ ok father im ready” you said to your father making him take his things and nod before getting his shoes on and headed over to the late which was only across the little bridge outside of your cabin 

“y/n dont forget to be quiet for me… you never know what i might catch out here.” your father said to you as he started setting up his equipment making you nod and set up two pull out chairs of a bag for you and your father to sit on. You got all of your things ready and relaxed in your seat again feeling your eyes getting heavy. You always fall asleep because no matter how many times your father wont catch anything he still never gives up. You was about to fall asleep but your father shouted and screamed that he saw a huge tail in the lake making you groan as he has done this a couple of times “ father theres nothing there you say this all the time” you said to him but he didnt listen “y/n its a mermaid im sure of it! I shall catch it and kill it they are abominations to this world and no mystical creature should live” your father screamed at the top of his lung making you grit your teeth… this annoyed you because at home all he talks about is mystical creatures and how he saw it kill and drown your mother but you came here because this is a place he never talks about them till now so you stood up and walked back to the cabin, your father watching you “y/n where are you going im sorry!” your father shouted and apologised but you just walked into the cabin and straight to your room changing and laying on the bed closing your eyes 

Your father sighed and tried to look for the mystical creature but not seeing it anywhere he decided to reach in the bag next to him and start eating some food he prepared. Your father was relaxed until he saw another tail he dropped his sandwich before taking his binoculars and seeing it was infact a mermaids take but as he moved to look further along the body he saw it was a merman changing into human making him scoff and grit his teeth “ hey you?!” your father shouted loudly but as he saw the merman run, your father by the time he packed up his things quickly but the merman was out of his sight making him sigh and just sut back on his chair waiting for the merman to come back 

You was laying in bed relaxing and closing your eyes slowly drifting to sleep until you hear the doors to your bedroom open and close…it wasnt just any doors it was the balcony doors you sat up and looked around till you saw someone stood with their back facing you as if they were running from someone you could see the heaviness of their breathing and stood up going behind then and tapping his shoulder “ excuse me what do you thing your doing in my cabin and bedroom?” you said makingthe boy infront of you nearly stopping breathing he turned around slowly and looked at you. You was taken aback… the beauty the man behold was crazy everything about this man infront of you was perfect and you couldnt keep your eyes off of him.

To be continued…….

[niofifirio]

tw incest (m x d)

my stuff is also on ao3 and cohost

what doesnt occur to you after you give in to the burning passion of an affair with your daughter is the feeling after. the night of giving in to what mommy and daughter have been inching closer and closer to for a long time is a release unlike anything else. but waking up the next morning...

incest. the feeling of it being real is almost indescribable. its disgusting, its wrong, its humiliating, its guilt on a level youve never felt before.

a mother and a daughter having sex with each other. it shouldnt happen. you have crossed a line you can never go back from. its real. you hope its not and you can take it back, that it could just be a fantasy that stays inside your head. but no, it was all real. your daughter is next to you in her bed, still naked, your seed dripping from her. it was real. the guilt is all consuming, burning up inside of you.

your wife didnt find out after that first night, she cant find out that you defiled your daughter with the girlcock that made her.

when coworkers ask how your daughters doing, all you can think of is your sin. when your wife comes up, or those moments when you see her wedding ring on your finger, all you can think is that you ran around behind her back to fuck your daughter. sometimes its so much you want to scream. that you're a monster trying to be normal now. it hurts even more thinking about what your daughter must be feeling when anyone asks about her family. knowing that mommy is fucking her, that shes fucking mommy while mama is completely oblivious to it. do her friends have any idea? none of your friends do. youre both good at appearing normal.

maybe it is normal. maybe there are many others like you, having secret affairs with family members. you know it probably isnt normal though. still when you fuck her, it feels like just another aspect of life. like fucking your daughter is as much of the routine as anything else.

it isnt just a fantasy for you. you know what it feels like now. you know what its like when your daughter blows you, how she looks when shes pleasured, what she says when you cum inside her, the way she tightens around you when you do. what her cute little holes taste like. unspeakable things a mother should never know about her daughter.

and even still, with that pit of guilt so immense you cant think clearly, you still keep going. youve had plenty of chances to end this, when you and your daughter started spending more time together, when you started exploring each other, when your daughter started asking for more, for you to teach her about sex, about how to use her pussy, about how mommys girlcock works. you could have stopped this and you didnt, all building to that first night when your sweaty naked bodies slapped together.

and now every chance you get when you have a moment alone you kiss her. every night your wife is deep asleep you sneak out to your daughters room and rail her. and shes the same. every chance she gets teasing you, flashing you, whipping out your girlcock in secret to get you off with her hand or mouth. every chance you get you bury your bare girldick inside her, the guilt weighing on you making the pleasure of the act even hotter, even more freeing. the way she wants this so badly that she wouldnt let up when you did try to end it. the way shes so much brighter and happier with this. its so hard to keep a secret, but what you share together is worth it. the world is so painful when youre in it, trying to not be a monster, but with her you can be monsters together.

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

"You don't know my name, do you? Will you ever?"

Summery: beomgyu keeps his promises--he walks you from and sometimes to work, hangs out there with you. its all very comfortable and usual for the both of you. he even orders the same thing every time he comes in: your wonderful hot chocolate you make him. noting is new, its all been done before a thousand times between the two of you. why? you and Beomgyu have been friends for ever. that's great. You and him have also become a sort of... intertwined. more than just being together; youve grown together. also great. but what happens when you do something out of the ordinary? or rather, maybe the two of you stop keeping your promises and let the feelings youve pushed down so hard you feel like youre about to combust bubble up? also great.

a/n: long hair gyuuuuuu based on 'you don’t know my name'!!!!! its one of my favorite (if not my singular favorite) song by her. and besides... come on y'all, its beomgyu so I had to lol. yerin and I talked about this during he 300 subs special (even though SHE doesn't seem to remember it lmao) so here I am holding up my end of the deal and making my fic based on this song. if you liked it please leave some love such as commenting and or reblogging!

warnings/info: slow burn I guess, kissing, reader and Beomgyu go to a party, mentions of people fucking, Beomgyu gets in an extremely heated argument with a complete stranger at said party, I feel like I ranted a bit too much with the fic, a little poem-ish at times I think, reader and gyu are scared to go into uncharted territory with thier friendship, lots and lots and lots of talk of reader and beomgyu needing to control themselves around each other, cursing, beomgyu being sweet and them slow dancing cause that's a warning in itself, one joke about beomgyu and reader fucking? idk its not said explicitly tho this was way too self indulgent I apologize, friends to lovers, reader is gn.

~this is simply a piece of fiction. my imagination onto "paper." this is in now way meant to be taken as an actual or real representation of anyone~

••••••••••••••••••••••

A sharp, wind chime sounding ping makes you spring out of your thoughts to look at the door. Your smile. Huh right on the dot. Your eyes are met with the handsome fetures of your most frequent customer: beomgyu. Hair touching the nape of his neck and eyes bright as ever despite the mugginess outside. though its not all bad-- it makes him remember how one time last winter on your usual walk-from-your-work-with-him, he had stood behind you and wrapped you in his coat, bringing you flush with his clothed chest. it was oversized on him and noting, he thinks, could have prepared him for how you melted into him.

you noticed his wandering eyes and raise you voice to snap him out of it.

“why do you look like that?” you ask. it’s slow at work right now and you say that because you don’t want him to notice your heart pounding. You know if you don’t distract him he’ll do so. He pays enough attention and knows you all too well to hide it. “oh I dunno I just went for a run. No! It’s because it’s raining buckets out there!” “Yeah YOU running? That didn’t sound right” his mouth hangs open a little "um excuse you." he puffs his chest out. "I-I run." the way he's shaking his head while speaking gives him away if you already didn't know him so well. maybe a little too well. but, you tried not to think about that too much. how you

“I’ll have the hot chocolate” he says, although you know what would fall out of his lips just the Same as last time, and the time before that. And many roles before. You know how he likes it (extra sweet. “Just like you” he says. Before you squeeze you nose) but seriously you don’t think you’ve ever known someone who liked such a sugary thing. It nearly tasting like straight candy

“not many people order hot chocolate in the summer. You sure you want that?” “Yeah, it’s a comforting drink ya know.” Something he always used to drink as a kid. Before he met you. Before he didn’t have to watch what he said around someone like you because of half giddy and half eyes to the floor bashfulness he’ll feel if he slips up and gets a little too flirty. Says something a little too strong to you. Not that you’d mind. No, not at all. But he doesn’t need to know you feel that way.

"Yeah but with everything?" you ask, still making it but wondering anyways. He leans further in, putting his hands on the table. "How come you're just asking me this now? we've been doing this for such a long time and now is when it pops into your mind that it's weird to have it with breakfast, lunch, and dinner?" you roll your eyes at him. but really, you weren't annoyed at all. the truth was you awaited the never-the-same times he'd come in and order that same, warm and comforting drink. (it depend on his classes, and or what he had to do inbetween) It had gotten on the point where one of the other workers there would tap your shoulder and let you know that he was there when you didn't notice.

"your guy is here." one of the workers there would tell you. In a moment of weakness, beomgyu would pop into your mind and your eyes would go wide as you looked for him. "he's not my guy." you'd try and cover your tracks but with the knowing smile on your work friends face as they walked away, you knew it wasn't any use.

"we've been doing this forever." his words rung in your ears. he was right. you had been. you'd both been seeing each other so much and resisting the bubbling urge to kiss the shit out of each other. You'd been inching dangerously close to him, but never as close as you really wanted and craved, the warmth of his heart ghosting your skin... forever. he'd been avoiding your gaze-- the one that made him feel like all the four seasons were swirling up inside him and somehow all their wonder landing in you, seeping out in all the little things you did... forever. To be honestly, neither of you knew how long you could keep this up.

but here you are, thinking of and loving noting more than seeing his eyes fill with excitement as you hand him the mug. he cups it with both his hands even though it isn't cold inside so it wasn't like he needed to warm his hands. "You know, you should just keep your own mug here." you comment. he looks up at you, about to take a sip and obviously not very happy you interrupted his almost-bliss. though, in his mind, it wasn't that different-- no, it could not compare to the feeling he got around you. "Or maybe I should just bring one with me." he jokes, lips pursing to blow the steam off the surface of the delicious smelling drink. "Yeah," you nod, "and bring a plate while you're at it-- you know what," you lean on the counter in front of him, knuckles going under your chin and fingertips folded enough to touch the beginning of your palm. And he'd rather not look at you through the fog emanating from the porcelain mug so he puts it down, leaning in for dramatic effect. "Better yet, take it with you when you leave so I don't have to wash it!" you eyes go wide and you throw your hands up like you just had the best idea of the century-- better than sliced bread.

he puts a hand to his chest, leans back with his mouth hung wide open, and then gets up with his hands to his head pulling at his hair like he just had an epiphany. you laugh freely as he walks around in a circle. once he's back at the counter he slams his hands down on the edge of it and looks all serious. "You've got it, y/n! this is gonna make history!" he exclaims. You take a bow just for kicks and when you come back up his expression has suddenly changed. its gone much... softer, a smile is tugging at his lips and he can't help it but to let it free once he sees your smiling face again... smiling because of him, too. because of the joy you two make together. its unmatched, really. His fingertips feel flushed like his face, and aren't holding on so tightly to the cold metal edge of the counter. he's leaning in now, for what reason he doesn't really know. damn, he wants and fucking needs to be closer to you. he feels it in his core.

Then, he makes the mistake of looking into your eyes and in an instant you send him on a whirlwind. usually he distracts himself and looks at something else but he just couldn't bring himself to this time. He wants to set up an easel and capture your entire expression right here but your eyes... your eyes he's sure made his plan he's trying to stick to of not getting caught in your gaze. or, better yet, not getting caught gazing at you. but, for someone he knows so well and for so long, it wasn't easy. because, every time you speak, every time he looks at you, every time he even thinks of you, his mind starts to cloud with all the goodness he sees inside you. every inch of your mind he knows and all the other filled up spaced he wants to adventure into.

How could he stop his mind from getting tied up in the wonder of a human that was you? He sure couldn't, and nobody in their right mind would be able to. He snaps himself out of his thinking before you can think to do it yourself. Lord knows if you caught him spacing out at a time like this you'd give him one of your infamous smacks on the ears and he'd shriek so loud out of surprise people outside would hear him. "You're making me waste valuable time on drinking this." he chuckled, holding a finger up to you to signal: one minute, as he takes a few big gulps. he puts the cup down and leans back.

"one of your best, y/n." he complements.

you raise an eyebrow. "Oh? so there's a hierarchy and competition for best of y/ns hot chocolate now? if I would've known I would've made it look all cute." you said, getting back to work behind the counter. the place was pretty dead at the moment but there was still a few things needing tone done. "Come to think of it, I should deduct points for not putting a cinnamon heart on the surface." he wonders aloud. "Oh so just a heart would suffice? noting else?" you ask him. "well why not?" he nearly giggles, "Thought you loved me." You simply smile and roll your eyes at him, not really having the opurtunity to have any type of conversation like that here. although you wanted to. and it didn't really have to go the way you intended it. but if he-- or the both of you for that matter, were gonna go there, then you might as well and a full on sit down talk about it. again not that you didn't want to at all-- in fact, you'd thought about how it'd go down plenty more times then truly necessary. And what better place to have it in than where you two had met?

maybe it was just you making excuses for yourself; for putting it off just one more day. one more week. one more month. or basically one more eternity of longing stares and cut of sentences where, you wanna say more but ultimately fail to. the conversation now seemingly over, he shrugs and finishes his drink.

He stays and orders another extra extra sweet, practically caffeinated, slap you in the face to jolt you into operating at top speed crack drink that was his or your signature hot chocolate. this is a habit of his-- one he'd likely have to break soon if this floating feeling of his keeps up and un-in check. but a habit the both of you cherish-- where he comes in and stays until you have to leave. most of the time you don't even get to talk much. but the comfort that comes right along with your presence around each other makes up for it. thats another habit with the two of you: just being in the same room and doing different things. it was pure comfort just being around each other. maybe looking over and smiling at the other or striking up a conversation that could last a minute or the rest of time he was there or in other situations, the rest of time you'd were together-- however long you both wanted it, really. and it was never awkward, either. the silence never aching.

that's how it was when you first started walking back to your respective places after your shift. another habit of his, one you hope, along with the others, would never die. him staying for a while, talking a bit... or a lot with you, then walking together. usually it was him walking you home but others it'd just be whatever you two wanted that day. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his acid washed jeans when you look over at him.

"Did you grow or something?" you question.

"maybe you shrunk, hm?" he countered.

you narrowed your eyes at him. he turns to you and does the same. "Very adult of you." You scoff. "You started--" then, realizing that continuing to say was he was going to wasn't going to help his case in the slightest. It barely falls silent for a second before he, in a moment of either weakness or some extreme courage he doesnt know, he slows down a little, gently puts his hands onto your waist, finger finding place scrunched in your shirt, and stills you. though, with the rapid beating of your heart you didn't need any help to do so. He gently moves you to the inside of the sidewalk. he doesn't know why. it's kinda stupid really. he doesn't even have a reason expect that's how you two are usually walking. but it isn't ever really intentional. Usually he just gets out the door of the diner first and you follow soon after. but he liked it that way. it felt warm and comfortable.

he clears his throat. "So, you were saying?" you look back up at him, not too stunned to speak or anything just....thinking. time still in its frozen capsule like it was a moment ago with his hands on your waist. "I feel like you've grown." you say simply, verbally shrugging. he takes a look at his own arms as if that would give him an idea as to what you're talking about. "I know you haven't but," you sigh, unsure of where you're even going with this, "I dunno you seem different." the both of you are still facing forward, not having looked at each other since a minute ago. "Is that a good thing or a bed thing?" You smile. "good. definitely good." "that's good that it's good." he laughs.

"oh piss off!" You chuckle at him, shaking you head. a second later you don't hear his steps anymore and turn around to see him saying "gladly." and start to walk in the other direction. You yell at him to get his ass back here and he turns on his heel, trotting back to you with a smile on his face, eyes hidden by his hair as he looks down. "But yeah," you say once he's back to walking beside you, "You've defiantly grown. not in height, but how you are as a person now." he hums. "I guess I can see that. you have too, you know?" you quirk and eyebrow.

"like--" he takes a breath, "You've grown... not like you act completely different now, but you've just--" you get what he's trying to say. "Blossomed?" He nods, but before he can start talking again you're already opening your mouth. "So have you. Not like you weren't someone I wanted to spend a lot of time with when were first met but you've grown into this person who-who has so much depth to them. like sure, you look a little different and youve changed your hair countless times, but I think you've bloomed in a way. And I love that you have; that you've made yourself out to be who you are right now." he purses his lips together.

"hey, it's not all me, ya know? Ive only been able to grow the way you said I have because I've got you by my side. actually, no, more than that, I've got you coaching me and trying to help. And have you taken a look In the mirror? its not just me that's grown internally since we've both met. I feel like... You're more you know than you were before. or at least not as afraid to show who you are." "that's cause I have you cheering me on, beom." he smiles at the nickname, something you've had for him forever. just like how you've been learning each other inside and out forever. But he also smiles at himself. he was your personal hype man, as you'd say, wasn't he? "And im really proud of you for flourishing like you have." he says. "Im proud of us." you counter, "for both becoming more than we were before."

all that was missing was two glasses to toast. "Yeah, and we're achieving that together, too. we have been forever. and I know that's why its unfolding so beautifully-- it takes the two of us to pull something so great off like that." you try not to get all fluttery inside by the prospect of him thinking that you're "great." cause there isn't much to it, really. plain and simple. he thinks you're great... or the journey youve taken with him so far is great or whatever... it should stop there for you. but that's the thing: with him, it never does.

It kinda hits the both of you right in the face at that moment. and you realize all you need to know about how the other person feels the same way when your caught looking at each other and saying more or less the same thing of: "wow, I think our lives are intwined now and I love that."

as the minutes go on, you both talk about some of the ways youve seen this with each other-- growing internally as youve both said. You bring up something, then him, it goes on like this until you both have a realization. "...But seriously, though." you cause, "Im glad that we're like this." "Im happy we can be like this too. and to be honest, I don't just want to be a better person, I wanna be a better person with you." he quickly cocks his head to the side, almost like he was punctuating his sentence. "I was just about to say that! I like growing with you. it's amazing. and you make me want to be better. not in a competitive way though. I just wanna move along with life with you next to me."

He puts a hand to his chest, hopping it would distract him from how fast his heart was beating. It had the opposite affect, though, drawing his attention to it under his palm. "Im glad youve been in my life for so long." he says, wondering jut how far he was going to take all this confessing how wonderful it was to have you by his side. wouldn't this make more of an impact on he both of you than just making you smile? or was he making it more than it was? he probably was to be honest; friends tell each other how much they value each other all the time. just... probably the ones who's heart feels like its about to lift him up and fly him away to the moon, stay away from it.

"And I am glad we're in each others lives to often that we can brighten each others days whenever the other needs it." he nods in agreement, not trusting himself to talk more because he'll surely say all that he thinks of you... and us. the rest of the walk is spent back in the comfortable, fireplace like silence like the first couple minutes of it. Once you get to your front door and your back is turned, he draws in a breath. "It is wonderful to have you in my life, y/n. I don't think you can understand how great it is and how much I love it." you're about to swing open your door but you turn around to look in the eye. "Me too. I love how it feels to have you by my side." you really wish you had something more to say but it seems like its enough for him. cause a second later and he's nearly skipping away from your door. You shake you head at him and go inside.

He scratches the back of his neck, thinking entirely too much about what you had said to him. There was a thousand ways you could have meant hit but for some reason he only wanted to think of it as one. the one where you actually secretly wanted to kiss him every time you hugged goodbye. One where you'd invite him into your place for hot chocolate and he'd stay, and long, long while; only really going back to his home for clothes cause fuck, if he had you like that he wouldn't dream of letting you go or leaving you for as long as he could.

God, It was almost uncanny how, you knew what to call him, but his name? that was something else entirely it felt like now.HIs own name had come to be you. that was how much you were written on his heart; written like law on stone. so engraved in his mind that he felt like you were with him all his life... except with this it was more like someone who knew him his entire life but suddenly stoped paying attention for a very important mile marker, then suddenly started up paying attention again, completely glossing over something that was so important to him. Like his name: but now youve replaced it with your own an the wasn't mad about it. and you didn't know, did you? would you ever know his name?

and, in the middle of all his swirling like a hurricane that brought peace instead of distruction, he wondered if you were ever feeling the same thing. did you think of him the way he thought of you?

He knew everything about you, as did you, he, you thought as you slipped off your shoes at the door. But you figured that, since friends need to be honest as much as they can, that wasn't entirely true. cute there was this one, not so small thing youve never shared with him. something that was such a big part of you it might as well be your name. The way you felt when he was near, when you thought of him, fuck, even when someone mentioned him. at this point, him-- and feeling this was about him was such a bug thing that it had become a part of you. he had become a part of you. and just like a name it was something you wanted and needed to tell the whole world. including him.

but there was the problem, you couldn't just scream it out for everyone to hear. that's why youve been waiting. Even though it was takin g a long time for him to figure out that big giant part of you that thad become as second nature as a name. Beomgyu was smart, but apparently he was stupid when it came to this. but seriously, with all the slip ups youve been having recently, you're starting to wonder if he's deliberately not understanding you and your feelings. Like is he that dense or does he just not want you?

You shoot him a message none the less; telling him to text when he got home unless you'll start to worry.

===

The next time you talk was on the phone on your way to work. He likes to walk you there, too. but today just happened to be one of those days where it couldn't happen. But you missed his presence on the street that reminded you of the talk you had yesterday so the next best thing was to call him. "Hey, it's the server from the diner." You say. "yeah, I know." It was a throwback to when he'd given his number to the place so he could get a free delivery. Though he was hoping you'd pick up on it and call him. and you did. you were the one who had to call to let him know his order had arrived and was currently getting cold outside his door. you had ended the call with him apologizing profusely.

One thing lead to another and you made a follow up call on how the food tasted. you heard him smiling from the other end of the phone as he says, "great as always." You barely thought he would even pick up so you didn't know what to say after that. "especially the hot chocolate." he aded then. And now you're the one smiling uncontrollably. After a few minutes on the phone that day your heart is leaping with excitement. so the next time he comes in, you talk with each other more freely. and now you had his number so when he doesn't come in for a few days you remembered mustering up the courage to text him. "I really wanted to come over there. hot chocolate would probably help cure whatever I have." you felt stupid. duh of course he was just sick, why were you so worried?

within the hour, hot chocolate was delivered to his door free of cost.

and that's when the friendship began; with him texting you an entire paragraph just to say thanks for the gesture and you two talking back and forth, heart seemingly on the edge of its seat, about hot chocolate and hot drinks in general.

"You know... our manager is always telling us to use water," you repeat now what you said all that time ago, "But I always use milk and cream for you." He's snapped back to the present, with you on the other end of the phone, wind whipping in the mic. "aww you really do care, don't cha?" he laughs, smug smile gracing his lips.he can practically hear you roll your eyes from the other end of the phone. "your welcome." you drawled. "I sincerely thank you for your sacrifice of cream and milk." he said, and it sounds like a joke, but still he's smiling in gratitude none the less. youre about to joke about how he needs to repay you... somehow. but he beats you to it. though... with the way he starts off, it doesn't sound like fully a joke. but just enough of one where he knows you'll listen.

"And as a formal expression of my forever debt to you, I invite you to attend a party with me." You figured you'd play along, his tone not serious enough for you to spend the brain power to actually think of an answer. "yeah, sure, Beom." It was about as real to you as the both of you staying completely quiet during a movie so you played along. at least, you thought you were playing. beomgyu puts his speaker of his phone up to his mouth, nearly making your ears bleed as he yells into it: "no take backs!" then promptly hangs up.

you roll your eyes at him, a little concerned for future you and him but cracking up none the less. The surprised expression on your face when he comes by later to quote "take the both of you shopping for the party the next day." was so priceless he wished he had whipped out his phone quick enough. "I keep my promises." he reminds you as he sits down at his usual bar stool. And he sure does, like the one he's been keeping, weighing on his heart for so long he feels like its going to crack it n a million pieces impossible to pick up, about just how much he feels for you. he made that promise to you to stick by you as friends for as long as you'd have him there long enough to be forgotten. but now him. he remembers it like it was yesterday and he intends to keep his word, especially to you. who knows which way it would take you if he didn't. and the last thing he needs is for you two to be torn apart.

he slumps on the counter and gives you puppy dog eyes. you sigh "No one told me you were serious. that was coercion; I did not understand the phrasing of the question, therefore--" oh, you wanted court of law? he'd give you court of law. "uh uh" he wriggles his finger in your face. "was this under a false pretense? maybe. but did that initially give you the right to call back and or ask further questions? yes. so for that reason youre guilty!" he slams an imaginary gavel down on the white counter. you turn around to take a breath. he kicks his feat. "come on, y/n! I think it'll be fun. and if not then we'll leave right away and go to my place to watch tv. and we'll get a cute outfit out of it either way!" you think about it for a moment. "I need deodorant anyways!"

well it is important not to have a stench.....

he can tell youre thinking about it and he perks up at the sight of your wheels turning behind your eyes. it was one of this favorite things-- watching you think, weigh your options and all. It wasn't like you completely didn't want to go. there was a part of you, one that was soon going to get bigger youre sure. but a part of you right now none the less. so what was stopping you? you wanted to be close to him. you loved being close to him and that meant doing things together. but in an environment like this.... it might pose a problem to lips kept tightly shut and secrets you held behind your back.

You take one last look at him, and if it's a regular response between friends or in a slip up you don't know, but you agree. he nearly jumps up out of his seat in celebration. Why did he suggest this? who knows. was this a good idea? who. the fuck. knows. maybe because he wanted to do something with you. but it was probably something more than that it the back of his mind that made him call you and ask. but he knows full well what almost happened the last time you two went to a party together. a bunch of "aww youre so cute together!" made it seem all a little too real after a while and as the night went on with him eventually stopping himself from telling the truth to these people and him getting seemingly eaten from the inside when he stopped just reviling in the fantasy and remembered that no, youre not together. The night ended somehow with you two coming dangerously close to kissing.

maybe he really just wanted to spend time with you; a sort of do-over. he could control himself this time. or maybe that's what it was... he wanted to test the waters again-- challenge himself and see if he really could have self control. or maybe, just maybe, in the back of his mind he wanted to test the waters another way. maybe he wanted to know if it'd happen again. of course he wouldn't do anything about it; he wanted to keep his promise to you but something felt like it was knocking at the back of his mind.

once your shift is done, he's got a spring in his step as he opens the door for the both of you and bouncing on his heels with a smile on his face telling you to hurry up. and no, you don't just go shopping for deodorant... but instead spend two full hours shopping around. two full hours that consisted of trying on clothes and the both of you having to bite your tongues. because fucking hell, why'd he have to have such a good style? you perk up as he steps out the dressing room for the third time, already preparing yourself for you heart seemingly about to beat out of your chest. "what do you think?" "I think..." his face sinks.... "oh--" he pouts, "no no! it looks great! its just, its white."

he quirks and eyebrow at you. "I have eyes, ya know? I did pick it out." he reminds you, nose and mouth scrunching up in that classic Beomgyu disgusted face. "spillage." you simply say. his eyebrows got up into his hairline. "youre right." the next out fit he comes out with, a little more spillage proof, is what he decides on. he takes another look in the mirror, sighing. "you really think it looks good?" he questions. "I have eyes, ya know?" you echo him. he spins around into the dressing room, away from you as quickly as possible so you didn't have to see the smile on his face and the rosy tint to his cheeks.

When it comes to you and picking out your outfits, while youre walking ahead of him to the dressing rooms, he closes his eyes, leaning his head against the wall so he can think for a moment. or... more stop himself form thinking so much than anything. he knows what he's getting himself into. but How you reacted each time he'd first appear out the dressing rooms door with that wistful glassy look in your eyes, almost like you yourself were trying to stop your gears turning.... Times like that gave him hope that maybe yeah, you felt the same way about him as he did you. because just for a short moment he saw the same look in his eyes that they had on him now; trying so hard to stop thinking about you. you, you, you, you.

"I think a round of applause is in order!" you say.-- twenty minutes in. twenty minutes of him bouncing his leg. twenty minutes of you hiding the way his complements make you feel. twenty minutes of the second you shut the door behind you him screaming internally into his palms and twenty minutes of you doing the same. he smiles at you when you come out. "I know. we have good taste." his cheeks seem to be nearly kissing at his lashes as he smiles and he's driving you crazy. "We do, don't we?" you take another look in the mirror.

"You really think it's--" Youre starting to stress over if the outfit really is worth the buy. you like it a lot. but now youre starting to wonder if its a little too little here or too much there and-- "I have eyes, don't I?" he repeats, you turn around and lock eyes with him for just a second too long not to do anything to the both of your heart rates.

===

fast forward to the next night and youre swinging your door open to see him turned the other way. he spins around as soon as he hears the door. You press your lips together and he unconsciously mimics you. "you look really beautiful!" he beams. he's just being your personal hype man as always, and youre not afraid to say that you love it. "Aw you look really beautiful too."

the words slipped past both of your lips like water through fingers. though, unlike water, the words were thick, with feelings long left in the dark hiding behind them. "Oh? so just beautiful? not really--" You step out toward him, closing the door behind you, making you step just a little bit too close to him than usual. "really really beautiful." you clarified. and this time, he doesn't move his head. "thank you." he whispers, voice softer than his hair. and the both of you are unable to move from your doorstep-- frozen in time and space, with the only thing moving being your rapid heart beats and rising chests.

====

he looks at you beside him and can feel your gears turning inside your head, a sight he so badly wants to get lost in but knows he can't. realizing it'd be bad enough with the gorgeous outfit you were wearing and how he was sure at least someone was going to try and hit on you... he'd rather not start getting himself tangled with you now. but he can't seem to move his neck any other way than craned to his left to look at you.

its was just.... as much as he wants an needs to kiss you so badly.... your so Important to him, he thinks as he lags behind a bit, watching you walk ahead. and your friendship is so important to him that they never want to break it, even if that meant shutting his mouth and staying further away, cause in the end that's really what he wanted: to be and stay friends with you. the reason he stayed never has been and never will be just about what he felt for you. your friendship will always be the most important thing to him and heeds never want to jeopardize that and loose you. he'd rather your friendship stay strong than anything.

Your turn around, beckoning him to come closer. he skips to you, so happy you don't know what to do with yourself. "You know--" "no, I don't. I was hoping you'd tell me." you scoff. "I was going to say that im glad you invited me. Im ready to go be extroverts together now and experience all the bad smells and all the loud noises a party has to offer." he laughs, but he knows youre half serious. and he's fully serious when he says he's happy you came.

====

the noise thumps in your ears, nearing making them ring. the lights are dimmer than you thought needed but it-- along with noise and people constantly bumping into each other, sufficed in making the atmosphere very party-like. cause well, it was a party after all. He follows you, both trying to scout out where the kitchen was. you'd planned to stick together, tighter than you did last time, tighter than when the both of you were bombarded with people asking you about each other, and stick together you did.

even when you two went upstairs, trying to find the bathroom, and stumbled upon a couple people fucking and practically biting each others faces off in the room you thought was the bathroom. Beomgyu shuts the door immediately, any longer and you'd both be traumatized. "get your own room!" you hear from behind the heavy door." He looks at you and you back at him before bursting into laughter. "I mean, did you want to orrrr?" you phrase it as a joke, and though he thinks he hears something in the back of your tone, he only rolls his eyes at you. though his brows go up higher than youve ever seen.

The second he's done in the bathroom you lead in downstairs to where the music was the loudest. "I heard it too." he pants, "I was trying to hurry up." you really couldn't believe they were playing this here. it was almost too perfect, you thought. with his body so close to yours, dancing and enjoying the song you both liked. And suddenly, it didn't feel like you were in a crowded room. and for a moment all you could see, and feel, and smell, was him. him and his fingers now reaching for yours, spinning you around, laughing without a care in the world. like it didnt matter that your heart was about to beat out of your chest, making you float on the floor you were dancing on.

Everyone else-- the entire room was blurred. It was just you, and him. him, and you. just as it should be. this didn't happen all the time-- rather, you didn't let it happen all the time. but when it did... you swore youve never felt anything so natural. so--so right and beautiful. You smile and ease him into a dip, now youre both laughing. when he comes up, somehow both his hands ended up in yours and now he's pulled flush against your body. he feels like you both are taking up so much and too little space at the same time--like the whole floor is yours and yours only. he swallows thickly, neither of you making a move to step away. you know it sounds stupid but for a second you can feel as life your hearts are beating as one. and for a seance he feels like maybe this is really real. that it won't end any second and that he isn't having another day dream about slow dancing with you in one of your living rooms; all comfy and--

"I have to go get some water." you say so low that only he hears over the music. you really shouldnt let it goony further than this. at least not here. and as much as you wanted to keep ignoring everyone around you cause with him, were they even there in the first place? you knew you shouldn't, couldn't keep it up for much longer cause being this close to him only made you wanna kiss the shit out of him. "y-youre not--" you look at the next to no gap between you still, hands still closes around each others tightly. you blink to free yourself from the perfect daze youre caught in. the song was barely even slow enough to slow dance to. what you you doing? "moving? I know." and before he could even ask if you to stay longer, youre already pushing yourself off his chest and out of his grasp.

"You sure you don't want me to just go with you?" he nearly stumbles after you. "beom, its just for a second." You whip around to face him, arms crossed defensibly. "but a lot can happen in a second." yeah, I can see that, you say to yourself, thinking about just a moment before where dancing to a song you both liked turned quickly into something that was going to make you stumble. beom, the name echoed in his mind over and over until it flowed into his heart where all the other times youve laughed or called him by that nickname laid. "listen I know youre just trying to uphold our agreement, but seriously, im fine."

he knows he's probably being too worried for you, but he just can't. epically after you'd done that. with your hands clasping his against his chest. god, he never wanted it to end. little did he know neither did you. you did actually need water, being so close to him like that had a track record of making your throat go dry and fingers go numb. it also had a track record of making you get lost in his glazed over eyes. you find a cup and rinse in out before anything cause who knew where its been. a moment later youre about to refill your cup when you hear the unmistakable sound of Beomgyus shriek. followed by someone yelling at him.

oh god what did he get himself into now?

You run to where you last saw him and, finding him not there you rush to where you saw a few people gathered by the stairs. those people who were now making way for beomgyu flying down them. someone hot with anger and hot on his tale. Your brows furrowed as he zooms past you. "im sorry!" you hear him say, "I probably shouldn't have gotten involved but it looked like a pretty heated argument!" oh god? that was what this was about? "Yah!" the person yells behind him. "that's why you shouldve stayed out of it!" then and Beomgyu are both on opposite ends of the sofa, both waiting for the other to make a move. when the person inches right, beomgyu tips to the left. when beomgyu goes the other way, the person follows his movements.

two of the three people move off the sofa to get out the way. god, he really was fucked, wasn't he? you didn't know what to do, really. you left for five minutes and here he was getting screamed profanities at by some random person. You wanted to help, but as beomgyu brings up to the person how the person they were talking with looked hurt, and how they themself looked hurt as well, you leaned against the door frame and just watched.

it was another one of these situations, huh? they didn't look mad enough to really do much of a number on him anyways, and youd step in to stop them any minute now if beomgyu doesn't leave the argument first. And step in a minute later after beomgyu and the person going back and forth tore you apart from the inside out to one, see him so worried like this, and two, hearing them yell next to you with the loud ass music was starting to make your ears bleed you didn't need to do after all. Beomgyu was backing up with his hands in front of him defensively. it didn't feel like you needed to collect him or keep him out of trouble or anything cause he was intentionally trying to start a fight, but you could tell no one was going to get anywhere with this. or at least beomgyu wasn't going to get what he was looking for from the person. So you figured it best to tell it that you two should leave. you grab him by the shoulders and lead him out the door. you were kinda done with the party anyways, having been there quite enough time already.

"im sorry! I ruined our night, didn't I?" he begs. "but they were saying some pretty shitty things about someone and it looked like it was about to turn physical." he practically pleads with you as the night air nips at whatever wasn't covered on you. you stay silent the whole way back to you place. "What have I told you?" you tell more than ask sternly once he's plopped down on his sofa. he hands his head low. "Not to get in the middle of other peoples problems..." he echoes what you say every time something like this happens-- he thinks he can be be everyones knight In shinning armor, protecter and helper to all by getting himself involved. it usually doesn't have such... strong repercussions. most of the time its when he hers whispers of someone talking about their troubles with someone else and he tries to console them. which is fine on its own, but then comes the part where he's getting all caught up in it and he's getting hurt along with them.

and as much as you are shaking your head and rolling your eyes at the situation he got himself into... you purse your lips and try not to catch his eyes from across the sofa. you lean back. "But im not surprised. And it's not because you never learn or that youre stupid or anything, ok? so don't even go there. but that's just who you are, how youve always been since I met you-- caring so much for people, even people you don't know that you'll end up like this trying to help them sometimes. that's one of the things about you that haven't changed one bit since I've met you." he inches closer as if you hear you better, legs folded criss cross on the cushions and hands on his knees.

"don't make me out to be such a hero." he shakes his head. and this time you move a little closer. "Not saying you are just," you pause, knowing what you want to say but wondering if this really was the right time for it. It felt right in your bones and besides when were you going to get another chance like this one? when just a bit ago his hands fit perfectly in yours and you could feel his raging heartbeat under your palms? It was now or never, right? but really, you werent too sure you'd be able to stop yourself now. you might've been in too deep, but with him, never over your head. "just, youre the kindest person ive ever met. n' I just worry you'll get hurt more than youve already gotten in the past-- like youve gotten in the past when you get invested like this."

youre breathing all heavy for some reason, and he's getting that same glassy look in his eyes as earlier in the night. it reminds you of a sugar honey glaze on sweet fruit or a dessert and you can't help but stare int them. "glad to see you care." he shrugs. only his lips move thankfully just in your field of vision, eyes staying locked on yours. "I thought you knew I did. he's unconsciously leaning forward to you, his body following the magnetic pull that was you. though he's only following what seemed natural. "Thought you knew that I did?" you put your face in your palm, elbow balanced on your knee. "Yeah, but..." he trails off, the both of you now impossibly close.

and closer, and closer, and closer until your lips join in a searing kiss. you both sigh in relief into it, having waited so, so long. now your heart was really beating out of your chest, your fingertips no longer numb but boiling with feeling. his hands go from his knees to your hands, grasping them firmly, but gently just like you did to him at the party. he felt like he was floating, like he was suddenly sitting on a cloud and wasn't afraid of falling. god, he's wanted this for so long; for fucking ever. how could he stop now? you pull apart, and now youre thinking how in the world you felt out this long. ".... now the way I want you to." he continues, "not the way I do." you smile, leaning in again to kiss him. it was meant to be a quick peck, but instead it turned into you leaning your body into his and his hands on your arms, running up and down them, making you sink further into him and the seat in warmth.

Now, for a second time, you pull away. "Does that help answering how much I care?" he's smiling like a mad man at your words. "so I guess I didn't ruin our night?" he says, more to get his Brian working properly more than anything. "The opposite. I wanted to leave with you anyways." and now he's nearly jumping out of his seat to to do a little happy dance. he couldnt help it, though. especially when you were pulling him back in by his shirt balls dup in your fist and smashing your lips together.

when you pull apart though, instead of smiling in each others faces, the both of you shoot up. oh god... oh god! what did you just do? it wasn't suppose to go like this, he thinks as you rush to put your shoes on at the door. No words were exchanged between the two of you, though. except: "Hey... I--" "no no!" you say a little too loudly, "no, its fine. we don't ever need to speak of this again, sound good?" his lips form a line at your words. he shoots you a thumbs up. "...yeah." it wasn't what he wanted, that's of for user. but what other choice did he have? didn't look like you were ready for it to happen, so my default, now he wasn't either.

it wasn't like you two avoided each other at all costs in the week after the incident. no, not at all. you were friends above anything and everything, and such close friends that being like that to each other would've killed the both of you. and it wasnt like you were mad at each other... but now the silence on your walks together felt.... uncomfortable; unnatural and weird. like you needed to fill it with pointless talking to distract you from how there was this... air in the midst of you two-- like you knew what the other wanted, craved and needed but were too scared to do something about it.

that's why he knew he had to do something about it. so here he was, barging into the diner you worked past closing time. You quickly run to the door to unlock it for him. not like you were doing anything better anyways, watching the raindrops slide down one of the many windows as you wiped down each table. he was later than he usually was, but it looked like he was here for more than just to pick you up. the look in his eyes said it all. You turn around as soon as you pull the door open for him. "we're closed, Beom." the nickname slipped off your tongue so easily it was like you had forgotten the incident the week before, and how you promised yourself you'd back away even more than you had to keep it from happening again.

it wasn't like you didnt want it to. god was it the opposite. it was just... new, and scary. you knew that wasn't the best excuse but it was all you had. he was, in a way all you had. You didn't really know what moving along that road would mean. you knew it'd be good. but again, it was new and scary.

"I can't loose you." he pants behind you. for once he it was raining and for once he did run here. he spreads his arms wide, his long hair dripping on his shoulders. "And I can't-- I can't believe we let this come between us. and I don't want to let the wedge be driven any further." when you still don't respond, back still turned he gets more desperate, running a worried hand through his hair. "Come on, y/n! we're best friends!" you slam your towel down on the counter. "yeah, well maybe that's why this should've never fuckin happened." your words make the room go silent. you didn't yell it, you didnt exclaim it, you basically whispered it, but it boomed like a bomb going off none the less.

he was too important-- your relationship, whatever it may be, was too important to let go; you knew that. he knew that. he didnt say a word, realizing that he might say something to make the situation worse. he knew he was staying after hours, then again, it reminded him of how it would be between the two of you a week ago when you'd still talk the same. he'd come in, you'd make him the best hot chocolate he'd ever tasted next to his moms, and then he'd sit at the same bar stool and you'd talk for hours, barely making a move to actually go home. but eventually, after helping you with cleaning, he'd walk you home.

but for watts its worth, neither of you wanted to go back to those times, even after everything quite liking how the experience of the incident felt. You invite him to go to your place to talk it out some more. having the same idea, he agrees readily.

"I haven't been completely honest with you." you say, youve been talking for a little over a hour now, somehow slipping into how it was about a week ago along the way back to your place, and you don't think youve felt something so good-- so reliving, in a very long time. "I haven't been telling the whole truth either." no other words are uttered between the two of you, opting to lean ever so frustratingly and tantalizingly slow into each other,. his hand coming to rest on your thigh, folded underneath you at the knee on his sofa. you place your hand on top of his has your lips connect, a long awaited satisfied sigh is breathed into each others face, the air tickling you. youre rubbing circles on the back of his hand as his mind races. it was a kiss you poured all your feelings into. one where you spilled into it how you needed him with you so so so bad. how you wanted him beside you even more than he already was. how you were sorry it took you so long, and how you couldn't wait to keep being beside each other. you could feel him pour all that and more into his side of it and you reviled in the feeling, settling into it like it was second nature.

you blink a couple times when you pull apart, glad that you took your talk someplace else now. and well, I guess the both of you know now. youve now pulled out of the dark that beautiful little thing you two were hiding.

Now you both know just that one more, not so little thing you needed-- what was on each of your hearts the most.

~end~

Can’t believe never written a solely beomgyu fic before anyways as I’ve said if you liked it please comment and or reblog since tumble works on that system and liking it only bookmarks it for you :) I hope you enjoyed!!!

©️2023copyrightofshutupheathersorryheatherr do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works even if you give me credit

taglist: @itz-yerin

[lvndrptchwrk]

Hiii, could I ask a baxter with a stylist/actor MC?

Cute dog for bribery

((the dog is like the cherry on top for this ask, reminds me of my own husky :3

also i have really good ideas for both a stylist and an actor so this is gonna be actor mc and ill make stylist mc its own post ! itll also be its own post cause this one became so long hgiasdfuseugw ))

step 3 baxter x actor!mc

-spoilers for baxter dlc !-

🔲 he first meets you when he goes to see the live performance at the bar

🔲 you were starring as the dramatic popstar, failing to hide their feelings for the bartender . your best friend is tired of the obvious pining between the two of you and incites the help of the audience to get them together

🔲 baxter is immediately entranced with your performance . the way you walked, talked, your outfit, your natural beauty . hes one of the few audience members that are interacted with, and took the chance to be the one to hand you the bouquet

🔲 he tamped down the rising feeling of jealousy as he had to say that it was from the bartender . it was merely a play, wasnt it?

🔲 the rest of the show went off without a hitch, and you and your costars bowed at the end

🔲 after the performance and a couple more drinks (merely fake drinks of course), he noticed that you were slumped over at the bar, the man you acted as your friend chatting amicably at the bartender

🔲 curious, he made his way over to you, asking if you were alright . the pretend bartender merely laughed at his concern, saying "ah dont worry about ol mc! theyre always wiped out after the performance but they are quite alright"

🔲 you took that time to lift your head up, glaring at the bartender before looking at baxter with a curious smile .

🔲 "ah, youre the one who handed me the bouquet. you did well, i like your hair"

🔲 baxter had mental whiplash with how relaxed and seemingly tired you were, despite your character having so much emotion

🔲 despite that, the two of you talked more, with occasional quips from the other two actors

🔲 he learned you were merely a year younger than him and had a part time acting gig here , but youve acted in school plays and musicals since you were in elementary school. the two of you hit it off, talking until he had to leave so they could close up for the nifht

🔲 he left the bar that night with your number and the promise to visit again

🔲 he stuck to that promise, and visited many more times, going to see you perform and talking to you when he can

🔲 he also texted you plenty , despite not being big on texting . he always wished you well before all your shows

🔲 the two of you even began to hang out outside of you performing, sightseeing the city and sunset bird, going to a lodge for a mini vacation and even introducing him to cove, terry and miranda . it was the funniest coincidence that he rented the condo in your neighborhood, and you two just missed out on seeing each other until now

🔲 he was excited to be included in your life, even if you two met on a whim . he knew however that his time in sunset bird would end soon and this would be behind him soon .

🔲 the end of summer was... hard . for baxter especially, he knew that he would leave eventually and all this would be is a slew of memories to be forgotten when he returns to virginia .

🔲 why bother to maintain the friendship when he knew it would have to end soon? forget about his growing affection for you, he couldnt bring himself to maintain a friendship, let alone tell you how he feels about you

🔲 he knew it would only hurt you in the end, so he kept quiet.

🔲 you were nothing but caring and kind towards him though . helping him pack, ensuring he didnt forget anything and keeping him company one last time

🔲 "well i suppose this is it. i hope you had a wonderful time in sunset bird baxter" you say as you give him a hug goodbye

🔲 this confused him . didnt you know he'd never talk to you again, that this was the last youd ever see of him ? he figured youd be distraught but you were simply acting like he would come back after a couple of days . he voiced this to you

🔲 "ive acted almost my entire life . people will come and go and ive learned that i cant control the people that stay in my life ." he saw the tears in your eyes now. despite what you were saying, its clear you were hurting . he didnt know how to feel about that

🔲 "be safe and break a leg out there baxter . "

🔲 that was the last time he heard from you, and it hurt him deeply . you never tried reaching out, but neither did he . he couldnt bear to see what you were up to on social media, the thought of seeing you again confused and hurt him

🔲 5 years past, and he slowly let that feeling go . he followed you on social media, saw how your talent was finally noticed and you began

🔲 he did his absolute best to keep track of everything you starred in, from movies to musicals and plays

🔲 if you were in a musical: he would buy or download the entire soundtrack and listen to it constantly

🔲 if you starred in a tv show or movie: he would binge it constantly, and it would automatically be his favorite

🔲 of course, hed watch as you went to premieres and red carpet events, dressed to the nines and blowing everyone away

🔲 his apartment would be littered in merchandise of you, along with characters youve played . anyone who sees his collection would think hes really into the character but its just because you played the character

🔲 his office is much more subtle, having a cup with a quote from your first ever major role on it, used to hold pens

🔲 seeing you again was purely coincidence . his work mates invited baxter out to see a local comedy show

🔲 had he not been so occupied with planning a big wedding, he wouldve known that you were in the area performing with friends in a small comedy show

🔲 seeing you walk on stage to perform had baxters world stopping . he felt like the only people in the world were you and him

🔲 you made eye contact with him, and for a moment he thought you didnt see him until he noticed that your smile became brighter and you suddenly looked more relaxed yet excited to see him

🔲 his heart was pounding throughout the entire performance . he had seen you act before, but it was always a different experience when seeing it in person and seeing you act here and now was no different

🔲 after the performance, baxter downright abandoned his coworkers as he made his way backstage towards you

🔲 you made eye contact with him and rushed over to him, hugging him like he would disappear the moment you let go

🔲 "you're here, it's really you . " you whispered, tears in your eyes

🔲 the last 5 years have been busy for you . shortly after baxter left sunset bird a talent agent had scouted you and your acting career took off

🔲 you would constantly travel or be busy acting and when you werent doing either, you were with your family or hiding from the paparazzi

🔲 but you never forgot him, and now he was right here in front of you . your feelings from him came flooding back in waves . you never had the courage to tell him how you felt before, but now you have the chance and you weren't gonna let him get away so easily

🔲 so you kissed him

🔲 he was initially surprised by the action, but couldnt help but return the gesture as well . it felt like the kiss raised several questions and answered everything

🔲 of course, baxter had to return to his coworkers, but he returned with you . they joked about him running off and congratulated you two on the newfound relationship

🔲 your fans would obviously have mixed reactions . the majority of your fans were extremely happy for you two, but there were always going to be haters

🔲 not that you minded, thats how it always was . baxter was there for you and thats what mattered

🔲you do your best to stay around and help him with weddings if needed . if you couldnt then he'd call and ask for your opinions or send pictures of his ideas

🔲 you would try to stay with him as much as possible, taking more local roles in the city or any neighboring cities but you'd have to take bigger roles once in a while

🔲 he'd support you endlessly, sending you encouraging texts and reminders to take breaks when necessary

🔲 you two attending premieres and red carpet events would blow everyone away . you occasionally got him to break out of his black and white scheme for these events and wear elegant outfits to stun everyone

🔲 whenever he wants to take you out on dates or out through the town, he totally understands having to disguise himself a bit along with you just so the time wouldn't be ruined by fans or paparazzi

🔲 most dates would end up being spent with home cooked meals or take out and a movie, but that was fine by him . any time with you was good time and worth waiting for

[akaakeis]

gnawing at my nails rn i miss my bf (i dont have one) how do u pick like,,, one person to selfship with bc⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

like there r so many options ushijima i dont even know who's my favourite character rn ushijima like guys☹️⁉️⁉️

BUT I cant wait for savyaku😼😼😼😼😼 SOCUTE

goshiki is my babey though he is sososososososososo cute and i would want him irl and i bet i could even pull him irl toooo

yk what this type of starting is called! a HOOK sentence cuz u got HOOKED and now ur reading this long ass ask. WAIT FUCJ mattsun guys hear me out here ANYWAYS. HRU SAV!!!!!!!!!!!! its 4am for yew rn right!!

anyways.. its 4pm havent had lunch yet am so fucking tired but soft rice.. soft white rice.... i want to sleep but rice....... call me basic but soft white rice is the best fucking thing in the entire world right after u. teacher gave my english composition an 80 i think ill end up on the news. i just stood up abruptly and the world went 🌀🌀🌀🌀 should i be worried..!!!!

THERE WAS AN OWL ON OUR ROOF THE OTHER DAY SO COOL i almost started writing akaashi hurt comfort (???) at school today but i didnt get time and now im Too Tired :(

im reading and the mountains echoed by khaled hosseini and erm. the plot is so questionable at times like wdym the guy was in love with his chauffeur wdym she tried to kill her sister and changed her mind last second so it was only paralysis but its ok bc she killed her fr next time. wdym this one girl dated her moms ex and then married her friend's ex like guys.. guys i have Questions..

IDK IF U READ JJK MANGA BUT U SHOULD READ JJK MANGA

i cant wait for ur birthday #weirdkidthings Im So Funny Guys Im So Funny

im going to sleep so hard tonight grrgrgrhrgrg i had ice cream on the way home from school YUM and then math kid era p2 i finished this one thinf before everyone else even started and the teacher asked if i did it qt home cuz wtf. ew now i remember her using her nail to create indentations in the paper and i feel nauseous my skin is crawling

WHATEVER eRmmrmrm im sitting on the stairs rn hashtag procrastination ahahahahah ive been writing this and zoninf out for the past 7 minutes yyyyyippeeee

im so tired guys let me sleeeep

my parenrs were supposed to find baby gender today but the little shit kept its legs shut and didnt let them see (just like me frl)

correction im lying on the stairs rn ..

honestly me x goshiki would be Bomb why is he so unpopular all his fics are mid or questionable so far,,,, anyways. konoha is so beautiful i would want him excpet i have like no grip on his character so #tweaks. i hate andrew tate so fkn much. i cant wait till i turn 16 idk i feel like life will be significantly cooler then. anyways bb i take my leave gotta go eat lunch

i hope youve eaten by the time ur reading this!!! stay hydrated and safe and dm me to be silly together whenever >:]]]]] i hope u have a WONDERFUL day sav!! ily <3

look at my man hes so gorgeous btw

alina... bf... :D alright then! umumumummm honestly there were many characters that i wanted to do a selfship with but i didnt want to be self shipping with the same character that someone im following consistently self ships with LMAO cause i feel like it gets weird for me at that point cause all the hcs in my head get mixed up? ANYWAY i just think of selfships with any character im hyperfixating on at that very moment... in fact my selfship very well may change!!!

anyway since im replying after you decided on yuulina... NOYA AGHHH U GUYS WILL BE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!! IM UR NO 1 SUPPORTER THIS IS YUULINA SUPPORT CENTRAL‼️‼️‼️

savyaku sounds so funny i need to thank of something that sounds better stop rn 💔 BUT I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH IM SUPER EXCITED TO DO SOME SELFSHIP STUFF :))

u would so pull goshiki irl 🙂‍↕️

HELP thanks for the english lesson lina 😭 those terms always make me shudder because they were drilled into my head in my college comp class it was horrifying. and NO not mattsun i do NOT approve of that at this point in time!!!! AND IM OKAY!! tired as hell and i have 3 projects to work on <3 (i stacked my classes this year, im not proud.) IT IS NOW 3 PM AS I ANSWER THIS ASK SO SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE 12 HOURS WOAH

honestly u were probably tired because you didn't eat but i digress... AND SOFT WHITE RICE HAS MY HEART IT MAY BE AN ASIAN THING?? and awh stawp😋 ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE ENGLISH TEACHER THAT YOU CORRECTED IN CLASS? THE ONE THAT CANT SPEAK AS WELL AS YOU?? insanity 😨 i may end up on the news as well. AND YOURE PROBABLY HUNGRY AND DEHYDRATED GO EAT AND DRINK WATER IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY WHAT??? PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

WHAT AN OWL ON THE ROOF THATS SUPER COOL!! bro i love owls :( and ugh i get what u mean i feel like sometimes the time just slips away... but its okay! you'll have time at some later date <3 make sure you rest enough!!

guys what my jaw just dropped?? THOSE WERE THE MOST RANDOM PLOT POINTS YOU COULDVE LEFT ME WITH. NOW IM JUST CONFUSED? KINDA WANNA READ IT NOW (my readlist has 100+ books on it)...

AND IVE READ SOME OF IT BUT IM NOT UP TO DATE RN I HAVENT HAD MUCH TIME TO CATCH UP RECENTLY

im excited for your bday too!! im trying to math away the time differences in my head so like i would dm at 12 pm the day before your bday so i would catch u at midnight i THINK.

i hope u are having an AMAZING sleep rn alina!!! and u are so smart <3 barf ur teacher needs to stop doing that thats lowk unsanitary? in my book

HELP ME NOT THE JS LIKE ME FR 😭😭 hopefully u guys are able to figure out the gender soon!! im so excited for you guys <33

goshiki is under appreciated as a character honestly and i think its cause of his fuckass haircut 😭 NO OFFENSE TO YOU WHATSOEVER IM SORRY!! HES CUTE BUT THE HAIR IS NOT FOR ME. when i saw him shirabu AND tendou i was like "what the HELL is wrong with shiratorizawa they are all fucked" no they werent they had semi and ushijima BUT THAT WAS FIRST IMPRESSION ANYWAY also konoha UGRHSHSBNDMSJABD hes so!!! so!!! yeah!!! i love him sm... also how did we get on the topic of andrew tate hes such a weird guy i dont like him 💀 AND SO REAL im excited to be 16 <3

AND I HAVE!! make sure u eat something nutritious before school! and drink some water!! i hope your day is lovely <3 ily!!

[rathayibacter]

Ask meme: Death, The Tower Reversed, Nine of Swords

[ask game here]

going off the beaten path, nice! ill try and do em justice lol

Death: Talk about an idea you’d love to make that no-one would expect from you.

this ones real tricky cuz i feel like my output is really eclectic. ive got some weird ideas in the books (like a collection of parallel-history card games, or a game-riddle that you can only play twice) but i dont know how many of them would be surprising coming from me, yknow? maybe the zine about how to run a Tarrasque would, given my noted.... disdain for dnd, but that wouldnt even really be about dnd yknow?

The Tower: Talk about about a game you tried to make that crashed and burned. Reversed: Talk about a game you were surprised didn't crash and burn.

ill do both of these! i had a game years back (pretty sure inspired by a Prokopetz post) called Party Planners, where youre a high-level adventuring party who spends more of their time throwing galas and managing your reputation as heroes and adventurers than you do actually saving the world. the idea was you had to meticulously schedule everything with a diegetic calendar, so you could make sure to attend all your rivals' events, set up your own, and fit in some adventuring on the side. new dungeons would pop up periodically and everyone would scramble to explore them first for the best loot and biggest bragging rights, but can you afford to do that when the same weekend youve gotta accept an honorary diploma from the wizard school? sadly the concept never got anywhere past "god thatd be really funny" despite trying to make little prototypes several times. i did wind up using a pared-down version of the calendar mechanic in Unskilled Labor though, so thats neat!

and for the flipside, BXLLET! i think ive told this story before, but i had BXLLET 95% done on my hard drive for three months before i finished and released it, because for some reason i was really struggling to get it to a place i was happy with and didnt wanna look at it. if it werent for my friends' passion about it, i dont know that i would have released it at all! which is such a weird thought now that its undeniably my most successful game, lmao. just goes to show, perfectionism's the enemy! reject its vile promises and put yourself out there, flawed and vulnerable, and let the chips fall where they may!

and hmm. nine of swords is usually associated with doubts and anxiety, which i kinda covered in the tower reversed, so lets take a slightly different spin on it

Nine of Swords: What's something you don't think you'll ever master, or that you struggle with every time?

working on large, long-term projects is definitely a struggle for me. ive been getting better at it, im happy with how KATABASIS is coming along even if i wish i could put out releases faster, but i definitely long to be one of those folks who can disappear for a few months and come back with 300 pages yknow? as it is i tend to juggle a couple projects at once, and then switch between them as the mood strikes or as i get blocked on something, and that helps me get things done but doesnt really lend itself to working on A Magnum Opus yknow

on a much more minor note, i wanna get better at worldbuilding around food. i cook! a lot! im pretty good at it! and yet for some reason whenever i sit down to write about food it doesnt come out right lmao

[jolapeno]

Hey my lovely Jo!! We’re going to start with a writing question before we get to 🤡.

When you’re writing a multi-chapter fic, are you writing it chapter by chapter or do you write a large chunk (or the entire fic) before posting the individual chapters?

Love you 💜💜

lovely lovely jenn! what a fabulous question, okay, I may ramble here, forgive meeeee.

previously, I have written a huge chunk of the fic to an outline I have (a skeleton, as I call it) and then begin posting when I’ve banked what I suspect is 30-40% of the fic, to allow for buffer time. this is mainly because I upload weekly and life can happen/sickness/etc.

late night texts was one I wrote three chapters of (thinking it would be five) and began posting and then spent every week writing the next and it was AMAZING! but I also didn’t have assignments then, one shots coming out of my ears (both my fault) or fandom friends to talk to. I just had writing. but with do me yourself, I had a chunk of that written and then I dedicated time aside to do as much of it as I could as i was posting but noticed near the end that I almost lost a thread 😂 like I didn’t close it up. I managed to sort but it kinda made me realise that when I do a slightly bigger plot (for me) my brain can forget little threads.

so I realised for actual series, I need to change it up.

HOWEVER, more recently, blue x frankie WAS supposed to be a collection of one shots that have somehow become a story? (let’s not even ask 😂) so, for this I’ve made a hard plan and made sure it has bullet points so I know what I’m doing.

but with new things, i am trying to write in full at least a draft. there’s something I’m working on that I’ve worked out could be around 12 chapters, and while I could get to four or five and begin posting, I really want to make sure for myself that I’m happy with elements before posting. so I won’t even be teasing that out into the universe because I’ll get excited and post 😂. (I succumb to peer pressure very easily).

now I’ve rambled a lot and I know you asked me for what I do, but I do want to stress there’s no right or wrong way, as long as you can be confident in what youve done. that’s all that matters.

I never used to be a planner, but I’ve found a tactic that works well for me. It’s good for my brain and how i work, and it’s taken years to craft and tweak it to be how i want. so if anyone is after advice: just try things.

and I think because I am now a planner who pants, that has changed me as an uploader, and I think I’ve learnt that I’d like to enjoy the process of posting it more if I know I’m completely done. its especially important as I’m trying to weave more things in and also make the readers lean a bit closer to OCs so people can really sink into them.

anyway, that’s a lot of ramble. but I hope I answered your question! thank you for it, it really made me think!

ily, jo

[felidaefatigue]

I'm so sorry you're going through it with that.

Word of advice from someone who did that (only with the living room) : don't. Not only did no chore ever get done in there for like 3 months before i gave up on it, it also created this hell where i got so used to how bad it was and still haven't gotten out of the hole of letting it go for so much longer than is good for my mental health and my partner was horrified when i told them, and said that they wished i had told them how i felt.

what does work: putting the chore list somewhere public. i used to have a binder with a checklist for each room in a sheet protector so i could refuse it but I'm the only one who ever looked at that binder.

it takes some set up but i really love the nipto app, which if one person does significantly more than the other it tells the slacker that nipto (a cute dinosaur) is disappointed in them which is shockingly effective.

also it sucks but you probably are gonna have to teach him a lot of things. if he hasn't lived on his own before and his mom didn't make him help with house cleaning he straight up doesn't know what all goes into it.

that was my experience anyway, good luck, i hope your partner picks up the slack!

I appreciate the amount of effort you put into this! And im sorry that youve had to deal with similar and an unfortunate impasse for so long.

But yea haha i know its a bad idea and would not help anything; hence the toxic bit. As much as its a tempting impulse actual direct communication is the only thing that will ever resolve an issue. Mostly the post just functions as a vent complaint at the moment. The chore list doesnt suuuper work unless I made a point of designating what is expected of him cause I write myself lists on things everywhere all the time cause adhd.

Luckily I dont have to worry about the last bit about teaching him to clean, he lived alone a lot and with friends and in a disgusting punk house so He Knows and has taught other male friends how to clean properly lmfao. When he wants to he legitametely does a better job than I bother to do. He just has as much of a shithole brain as I do and takes on the suck of life too much in a similar way and its just like. hard to prioritize. And since i make a habit of it its like not required of him for the most part so not high on the priorities. Which is like not ideal sure but my brain will do the same thing so I dobt blame him for it until I bring it up as smthn thats bothersome and not just a passing minor annoyance

[skyechild]

Pain in love

𖤐 pairing: life!Siyeon x death!Fem!reader (f/f) 𖤐 genre: angst no fluff whatsoever 𖤐 warnings: death mentions 𖤐 wc: 800 𖤐trope/au: life/death au, f2l, somewhat already established 𖤐 summary: Life and death were not supposed to meet, or even be friends. anything you touch dies, anything Siyeon touches is given life. You just hate that you cant touch her. It made you want to cry. The girl that you loved...you couldnt touch her. 𖤐 notes: yes i know its short but what can i do? 𖤐Tags: @cultofdionysusnet / @spooo00oky / @stravvberrymilksan

You were death, coming to collect the dying who didn't have the possibility or strength to fight any longer. You came to collect their souls and carry them over. You could only touch the dead. Anything living would rot again from the inside out.

Siyeon was life, pressing against hopeful parents stomach to give them a wish they asked for. When she touched a dying flower it bloomed again, when someone had the strength to fight for even a little bit longer and some hope, she would give them that tiny bit of life.

You supposed it was fair enough. She was there at the beginning of life, you were at the end. Never to meet. Maybe it would have been easier if you had never met. But the thought hurts. You were too scared to touch her. What if your touch killed her? You hadn't touched anyone, and you didn't want to start with her.

Her smile lit up the room, yours dimmed the room, a sense of foreboding taking over. Her skin had life in it, a beautiful slight tan in it. Your skin was ashy grey, it was unsightly, ugly. You were the complete opposites. You didn't let her touch you, scared something would happen if she did.

You had met by mistake. Both of you sent to the same person. Her there to give them more life, you there to take life. You both froze at the sight of each other. It had been quiet for moment before Siyeon had moved forwards towards the person that you had spoken up. "Its his time." You had warned and she had looked down at him then back to you. "He can still fight left in him." You had shook your head. "Life, youve given him too much time." You had confessed. "He is exhausted, youve extended it too long." You had murmured and she looked at you, eyes glossy.

Siyeon hated when she had let let people go, not give them that boost that she could. But she knew you were right, the usual look they had when she first came to give people just a few days or a week left was gone. He was skin and bones. He had no muscle of fat left. "He is in pain." You had moved forward as well, by her side now. "But you can wake his family up." You had soothed her, itching to wipe away her tears.

That was how you both met. It was bittersweet. You taking a life and her not being able to help. You had to escort her out to sit down, taking a seat next to her.

"Y/n?" You were taken out of your thoughts at the call of your name. Looking up at the girl you smiled fondly. "Hello." You whispered, she smiled softly. She never minded the sense of foreboding whenever you smiled. "How are you?" You question and her smile grows. "Ive been wonderful!" She motioned towards you, returning the question. "Im the best as i can be." You smile fell a bit. The best anyone can be when taking lives. You meant and she knew it.

You both had known each other for a few millennia now, the brewing of something surrounding you guys made you nervous. You have never liked someone, or even been in love. You had thought it was stupid. Why fall in love with someone when you might end up taking their life? You knew with someone immortal it would be easier..if they were your side of things. But someone like Siyeon? You didnt want to risk it, no matter how hard she tried.

You were about to go to your boss and ask if you could touch other immortals that were not under death. If your touch worked on the other side, on Siyeon's side.

You hoped not.

You didnt want it to work on something so beautiful. You supposed life itself was beautiful even though you saw the end. You saw the tragedies, the pain and suffering. While Siyeon saw the bright side, the births and joys. You had to let fate take its course as well. (Minji was a sweetheart.) But you loved Siyeon and you knew she loved you. That scared you the most.

How could someone so beautiful, someone who gives and gives and gives while you can only take and take and take. That didnt seem fair to you. Why couldnt you give. You wanted to give, you wanted to give Siyeon anything and everything you wanted. But at the end of the day, you both werent suited for each other. It was a forbidden love, the worst type of love in your opinion. It hurt the most and it hurt everyone with no remorse.