#and its really honestly kinda scary feeling this way about someone again

[aita-blorbos]

Am I a bad person for saying mean things about my friends?

[cw for gaslighting and manipulation]

I just feel really really super-bad about this, but everyone says it wasn't my fault and I don't need to apologize but it's messing me up and I dunno what to think about it anymore…

I (14F) was having a really bad day the other day. Y'know, the kind where you make the dumbest mistakes and the things people say get at you a lot more than they normally do? And on my way home I found this cute-looking doll and it said it wanted to be my new friend to help cheer me up (which I'm always in favor of, I love making new friends!!), and said that if I be its friend, it would help me be luckier, and that nobody would make fun of me again, just as long as I always kept her with me. It sounded good to me, so I agreed and took it home with me!

And, things were going great! Like the doll said, I was so much luckier, and my magic was getting so much stronger from it! S(14M) and L(14F) were totally wowed, too! But um, then I think I got a little fat-headed and started gloating at R(14F) and K(14M) and kept beating them in magic duels.

Later the doll kept saying that they would all definitely think better of me now, and that it was because we had gotten to be such good friends and. She was kinda loud about it an that was scary, but she was really making me feel good and better and lucky and… even though she was saying that my other friends were horrible and that I was wonderful and that she was my only real friend. It seemed so nice.

And then and then the next day, K and R and S and L were all asking about how much better with magic I had gotten and what had changed. And I wasn't sure what to do or say. So the doll told me that I should tell all of them to shut up, and that I didn't want to pretend at being friends anymore if they were gonna keep picking on me, and all these other horrible things. And I wanted to trust my friend, so I did what she said.

And to make it worse, I accidentally dropped the doll and all I could think of was "I need to keep her with me! She's the only one that understands me! She said so herself" and I pushed poor L away! And when R tried taking her away I just panicked and ran off.

I don't remember much of what happened for the next while. My head was hurting, but the Doll said I'd done well, so I just kept going, and she kept telling me she was my friend. And I just. Kept believing her, because it was getting hard to believe anything else, with my head being as fuzzy as it was…

Then S and L and K and R caught up with me and started trying to take my friend the Doll away again and calling her a liar and I was so scared for her, and for losing her, when she had been so helpful to me. I just couldn't think, so I kept casting spells at them and telling them all to go away and leave us alone.

But then, R and K started saying that they'd miss me if I was gone, because we really were friends and that they liked having me and my usual positivity around. L and S were saying everyone was worried about me, and wanted me to be friends with them again. I was so shaken, I ended up losing the duel I started.

And then it all came rushing back to me. All those awful things I said and did to the people who had been so nice and supportive of me, even if they're not always the best at showing it (K and R are especially really stubborn like that, but I know they meant it). And I just. I just still feel so AWFUL about it!!! There's no way that S and L and K and R would just forgive me, just like that, for being so mean, right?? I must be the bad person here, right???

EDIT: Someone asked what happened to the doll. My homeroom teacher showed up right after that and said something like, the doll puppets people with their hearts and take their powers? I dunno what that has to do with anything, though. Anyway, she took it somewhere else, but I didn't really listen much when she said where she was taking it. Honestly, that just goes to show, I really need to be better about listening too!!

EDIT 2: And now people keep asking why I didn't think it was weird the doll was talking. But why would it be weird? I thought it was kinda like the talking cat plushie my homeroom teacher carries with her, or the old teddy bear that runs the museum.

[dragon-queen21]

M BACK WHATWHATHWATTTT

-Yeah i so agree with you on the pet regressin chopper hc ! i honestly like that hc more OH MY GOSH, when hes petregressin, i forgot what point it is but he stays in his reindeer form, hes standing on shaky legs like a fawn, ITS OVER FOR ME

- i was thinmin about this last night: luffy and the crew meeting ace in alabasta, luffy regresses of course, hes happy to see his brother, and just ace trying to embarrassing him in front of the crew (in a loving way of course)

like giving him really silly nicknames (personal fan on lulu for this senario) or cooing and doting over him in spanish

- i have a ace+luffy hc that ace can dance really well and luffy cant dance for shit. enter little luffy, and hes more uncoordinated then before. imagie ace trying to teach him how yo dance, or doin that father daughter thing where luffys on aces feet yk?

- or when luffy is in babyspace and way to little to do anythin, ace will carry him around and do that thing were ace will say something and then ask luffy who will do nothing but look at ace back and make baby noises

“I cant believe this! Can you believe this lu?”

“bahwhah”

“Exactly what I said!”

-I dont remember if it was you who orginally said it but i really likedthe hc, i definitely see luffy and usopp regressing together unknowingly, before they knew they were regressors (first time it happened the crew was confused. the kids were on the floor playin, and usopp took to clumsily carryin luffy around. why was that?)

- smoker findin luffy little and just, hes not gonna capture luffy like this. smoker holding luffy by the back of his shirt like a baby cat and dropping him off at the sunny and staying with him until the crew returns

smoker is canonically good with kids NO WAY IN HELL hes gonna hurt luffy when hes regressed. hes not doin that to someone whos to out of it to protect himself

okay thats all i can write rughr now i have absolutely DEMONIC cramps i cant think anymore

but yes olease make sure to take care of yourself, your health is always more important than anythin

i hope your havin a good day 🤍🤍

📷

Hello again! :D

~I like to think that the nicknames just get sillier and sillier over time. Especially if Luffy says that he’s embarrassed. Clearly that’s what an older brother is for >:3

~Oh my gosh I have such a soft spot for anything with just, second languages. Little know fact I’m actually half Hispanic. My Spanish is VERY rusty mind you, but still. Solidly agreeing with you. This headcanon makes me very happy :3

~I feel like Luffy’s Spanish would be very broken so half of the things his brother is telling him just goes over his head. Especially if he’s super small to try and put together the words, but in a way it just makes him smaller.

~With Ace and Luffy dancing, it’s mostly just Ace spinning him around in a circle because Luffy refuses to do anything but stand on his feet giggling “again again!”

~Awwww cute cute cute cute cute!!!! Ace could probably fool others into thinking that he actually understands what Luffy is trying to tell him

~I don’t believe that was my headcanon but it sounds adorable! Actually I vaguely recall seeing that somewhere. That’s going to drive me crazy until I figure out where.

~Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh gosh. Captain Smoker, let’s talk about him for a moment. I love him- so much 👏 I also have such a love for anything regressed protagonist being taken care of by an antagonist.

~And he is good with kids, kinda rough around the edges. And wouldn’t it be really funny if he finds Luffy out gettin ice cream and there are just- too many similarities to a small child and Luffy seems so out of it. Smoker mentions something along the lines of “where’s your crew” half because he wants to know if he needs to call reinforcement’s, half because he genuinely is curious. And Luffy doesn’t know, Zoro wandered off at some point and it’s scary being all alone. And yeah no something is definitely wrong, he looks like he’s about to start crying. If anyone asks Smoker used this as an opportunity to locate the straw hats ship. Why didn’t he call in his report? Because he was kept under very close surveillance (aka a mentally four year old who wouldn’t leave him alone)

Not sure if this all makes sense but I think you get the idea <3

Take care of yourself as well, make sure to take it easy and get lots of rest. <3<3<3

[buckgettingstruck]

so i wrote this on tumblr about how we want buddie and how if the plot device is still here it's to get buck to realize his feelings for eddie and some dumbass was like "buck is a fully grown adult and if he needs someone to tell him he's in love with eddie then maybe he's not in love with him" and I was like Buck is literally THE most unreliable narrator on the show and if you seriously believe the things buck says then you do not understand his character whatsoever. Also the fact that he may not realize he's in love with Eddie has to do with the fact that he doesn't yet realize that everything he's done for eddie throughout the years is because he's in love with him. Like people need to understand buck's character

something that always confuses me is how people dont understand that buck honestly doesnt know what he’s really looking for. like he thinks he does, then he realizes thats the wrong answer, and looks again. and hes been doing that for years.

eddie and buck’s relationship hasn’t really been normal since the day they met. buck’s been going out of his way to help eddie and do things for/with eddie and be there for him since the earthquake in ways i dont think he’s really done for anyone (including abby to an extent, as much as he tried) and well, if your relationship has been one way the entire time it’d be kinda hard to untangle the underlying bits. realizing something as big as being in love with that person would make anyone have to reevaluate a lot of things i feel. for buck i think his love is just so engrained into their relationship he doesnt realize what it actually means. and buck isnt self aware already

and well, as someone who has a fear of abandonment a lot like buck does, sometimes its the case where you just dont want to look at how something actually makes you feel. change can be scary and change can make people leave you.

[oleander-nin]

technically still on vacation but I’m stuck in the house for a bit until the storm totally passes. Don’t have much to do though since my consoles and puter are still back at my place. It’s honestly kinda funny, I’ve gotten four flash flood alerts on my phone within the past 24 hours. I am super glad you like both songs though sorry about the spotify thing I kinda overlooked that. I’m also happy you like being talked to because I sure do like to talk.

Anyway I said the next ask will be actually good and even if this is close behind I’ve got krang observations/facts!!

starting with the stuff I managed to gather off twitter

“What happened to the foot soldiers after they had been krangified in the movie, were they taken into custody or killed?

I think they just become Krang soldiers/slaves.”

Raph was real lucky he had his brothers, it sounds like the krang zombie thing is next to totally permanent

“I've mentioned this in a few other answers, but we would have learned the backstory that a Krang ship crashed into the back of the crying Titan and its fuel was the source of the ooze that energizes the yokai.”

This is really neat to me, since it does sorta explain why the krang were able to snatch their mystic powers at the start, at least to me. Plus just them being the origins of at least why yokai are as strong as they are is really cool.

Ok movie stuff yay, typing this as I watch so I definitely didn’t get everything and some of these may just be a tad obvious

Kinda stretching it to start, but the way you can hear genuine fear in Casey jr’s voice and general like mannerisms(?) at the krang starting to get summoned again does such a good job at showing how scary they are before we really see much of them(I know we kinda do but sh)

^ Adding on their intro is so cool?? Like the way I actually freaked when two(?) said it had been ages since she killed anything right after the insane beatdown from krang one, the fact they actually got one of the mcs is also just awesome like.

Moving past the fanboying(hopefully) and going back to the crying titan thing krang one points on that Raph isnt human so it is likely that the krang did cause yokai as a whole to show.

I had something here about the krang zombies but I realized it was wrong so pretend I said something else cool

Everything in the subway was horrifying

not a krang observation but I’m saying it anyway, April goes through it in this movie, obviously everyone does. But girl is human and early on she just gets tossed off her motorcycle and totally ignores any potential injuries

The way krangs two reacts to April melting a good chunk of her face makes me feel like the krang had never actually been injured

I said this in the headcanon yapping thing but now that I’m actually rewatching it, I’m pretty sure I was at least sorta right, the krang parasites goal was to get Leo to kill Raph. Krang one is obviously confident enough that he could kill Leo on his own, and it does generally align with how messed up they are. Right before Leo puts his swords away he does almost slash at Raph who just doesn’t move at all until he takes a step back because almost killed his brother. Probably not canon but it’s more emotionally destroying and therefore cool.

probably obvious but I’m saying it anyway, the reason Leo’s sacrifice came as such a shock was because of the lack of capability to form any sort of connections, the inability to even fathom why someone would act for anyone other then themself is what lead to their downfall

theres honestly not much for me to say here, this movie is awesome but I’m trying not to go “krang armor is sick :0” Because yes it is, but like we all know that. I can talk a *lot* about the turtles and probably April n Casey jr but I said krang and thats probably smarter because I’m stuck on my phone at the moment and typings just a bit more annoying.

-🍰

ooooooooooooo I like these. Very interesting observations/headcanons.

"The way krangs two reacts to April melting a good chunk of her face makes me feel like the krang had never actually been injured" - That's a good point. i dunno what to say to this, but my brain has latched onto it.

There's not much I can add onto any of these(haven't seen the movie in a hot minute tbh), but goodness I love them. Trade brains with me pls

[the---hermit]

Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

I am not a huge memoir reader, but you can bet that if it's a graphic memoir I will pick it up, plus I want to expand my queer book collection, and this book was an amazing addition, that I know I will reread in the future. The author is non-binary and uses e/em/eir pronouns, which I never had to use before so if I fuck up while writing and editing please let me know. With this being said Gender Queer is a memoir and focuses on the author's journey of getting to know eir own self from a sexuality and gender point of view. But it feels reductive to describe this book as just that. The author does a great job at telling the story of eir life without skipping on all the existential crisis, the confusion and the fear. It's a very raw and honest work in my opinion, and it's amazing just because of that. Em couldn't have done a better job at explaing this complicated journey with all its ups and downs. There's fear and confusion, but also joy in getting to understand yourself more. It doesn't skip on any kind of thought, there's a few points that hit so close to home, ans that will keep sparking thoughts. The way the author talkes about gender and eir way of presenting is incredibly clever. I particularly liked how em used a landscape to talk about gender. It's not easy to put into words how good this graphic memoir is, and the fact that it was banned so much is scary and should be a good enough reason to pick it up. I feel like this could be a great way to let non-queer people understand a little better how figuring these things about yourself is, and how complex it gets. It's a little like being in the author's head sometimes, which is why I feel like this could be a great tool for queer allies to understand some things on a deeper level. As a queer person who is actually pondering a lot of these questions, it was very comforting to read about someone who stuggled just as much, but honestly reminds you of how layered and complicated these things are. Additionally I really liked the illustrations, the colour palette felt nice and overall I just really liked the look of this book (I should mention my edition which is the Italian on wasn't as curated as it should have because a few pages were blurred to a point you couldn't clearly read, which is absolutely unacceptable especially for how expensive graphic novels are. I never had such problems with this publisher, but that was kinda disappointing because I expected a bit more cure on the details, but again that is the Italian publisher's fault).

I read this for the jumbo reading challenge non binary author prompt.

[biblicallyaccuratepigeons]

Welcome, traveller

Seraph-Chim's the name; being only vaguely strange is my game.

At first, I didn't think there was really much else to know before looking through my blog. I'm generally an open book; I figured my posts and reblogs would speak for themselves about who I am.

However, after a few months of really being active on this site, it seems that I was wrong.

Here are the most crucial parts about myself:

Sexuality: honestly it's complicated. I've been sexually and romantically attracted to people of many genders, so normally I'd count this as bisexual, but I'm also sex-repulsed. That's right folks, you heard it here first! There is such a thing as a sex-repulsed allosexual, and you've had the great fortune of stumbling across one of our blogs!

Gender identity: This is another complicated one. I've had a bit of a journey reaching this conclusion, which you can check out in my #about gender posts (as of now, there may be a couple missing! am currently in the painstakingly slow process of organizing this blog ;v;), but the long and short of it is that I'm simultaneously every gender and nothing at all. As such, anyone is free to use any gendered or non-gendered terms which feel the most accurate at the time (or are the funniest in context >:}). I do use it/its as well, often in the first person; regarding neos, my favorite ones are ci/cim/cir or ki/kem/ker, but again, just say whatever feels accurate.

Kintypes: I'm an angel and a stormkin! This is also... say it with me now... complicated. Being an angel is easy to explain: humans, like angels, are spiritual creatures which take a variety of forms and have a variety of strengths, who may or may not choose to devote themselves to a higher being or goal. It's a little bit difficult for me to summarize for someone who doesn't already have some kind of framework for it, but basically you can think of my soul as being a different shape from other humans', which is why I describe myself as an angel/angelkin. I've been an angel for my whole life. Being stormkin is a little different for me; it's less that I am a storm and more that storms and wind are my family. I was adopted, or perhaps adopted myself to them, a few years ago, but we've always been good friends.

Fandoms: This and that, but lately? Mostly Gravity Falls; and I'm a Billford shipper. This doesn't mean that I think their relationship is or ever was healthy or ideal. It means that I recognize the spark, the passion, the compatibility, and I love seeing them interact in any context.

And now, the scary part.

I'm a Christian. I love being a Christian, more than I love any of the things I've mentioned about myself, because I love my god. I love Him more than anyone or anything else. He saved my life over and over despite who I was and am, because He's just that kinda guy and He's powerful enough to do it.

However, I know that saying all of that doesn't mean much in this world; certainly, on tumblr dot com, it's more likely to get me blocked or ignored than much else. I'm incredibly fortunate that my first mutual here, now a much beloved friend, was someone who understood me as myself without jumping to any conclusions because of my faith.

So here's a brief summary of where I stand, morally and philosophically, about all of the above statements.

Sexuality: Love is love, affection is affection, attraction is attraction. God gave us feelings in order to make sense of and make the most of this world He's made; all the good He's put into it, and all the bad that's come into it. Feelings are not only a proof of who we are, but also an instrument by which we thrive. Feelings are a morally good thing. I am of the belief that they don't have to define or control us. In much the same way we must train ourselves not to lose our tempers, the life I have chosen also begs me not to lose my head over any individual, regardless of sex. I can love whomever I choose, and I can spend my life with whomever I choose, but I will not allow myself to have sex with anyone I'm not married to, and I will not allow myself to marry more than one person of the opposite sex from myself. As for my sex-repulsion, that is a byproduct of past trauma, which I will not go into detail about here. It's something I live with, and which causes me to hate myself, so of course it's not ideal; on the other hand, feelings are a handy tool, yes? I've chosen to hold onto it, and together, God and I are slowly molding it into something healthier and less self-destructive.

Gender identity: Really, I'm just me. God made me who I am, and if that means a soul that doesn't look like the body it's tied to, so what? He loves variety, sue Him. For the sake of the people around me, I've talked with Him at length, and we've come to a deal: I'll get gender-affirming surgery when I'm 50. Till then, I can express my gender in any way I please, so long as this precious vessel goes relatively undamaged as a result. If this is how I view myself, who am I to tell anyone else what their soul looks like? I do believe in practicing discernment, of course–someone who's grown up in a home heavily biased against a certain gender, for instance, is likely to lean away from expression of that gender for emotional survival, given the choice; and a repeated sex offender is, of course, going to tell any lie that may keep them out of trouble–but generally? Until you can prove yourself wrong, I'll take your words at face value. (In this vein, I do think that our society has lost hold of what being a Man or a Woman means, aside from the false dichotomy of gender itself. Perhaps all this genderfuckery is our way of searching for it? Certainly, I hope to someday understand it.)

Kintypes: Similar to gender, who cares if my soul doesn't look like other human souls? Being an angel in the way that I am isn't so uncommon amongst Christians as one might think, and being close with the wind and rain just means God has given me yet another way to listen to His voice and worship Him. Believing in God, and believing that He's good, of course I believe in an Enemy, a demonic source of evil; but unless a demon talks to me, what can I know of its nature? Being otherkin, alterhuman, non-human, or therian doesn't automatically point to demonization, in my opinion. I have seen a great number of angels who believe that this life is a punishment or proof of abandonment from God, and that is a lie, but the being is not necessarily. As for godkins, I have no reason not to believe you, either. My god already calls humans "little gods," and all spiritual creatures, god or not, are called "elohim." If you say your soul is more elohim-shaped in a godly way than mine or other humans, why should I not believe you? If you have old memories, or muted abilities and affinities, what difference does it make to me? We're cousins, you and I, in a way we can never be with other kintypes.

Fandoms: Fantasy, obviously, is a fiction. Humans share stories that mean something to us, it's what we were made to do, so there's nothing wrong with it.

Religion: I have placed my belief in one God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible; and in one Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, the only-begotten, born of the Father before all ages. Light from light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in essence with the Father; through Him all things were made. For us and for our salvation, He came down from heaven and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and became man. He was crucified by Pontius Pilate, and suffered and was buried. He rose on the third day according to the scriptures. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father, and He is coming again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and His kingdom will have no end. And I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Creator of Life, who proceeds from the Father. Together with the Father and the Son, He is worshipped and glorified; He spoke through the prophets. I believe in one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church. I have been baptized by the Holy Spirit for the remission of sin, and as a public sacrament for the denouncing of it. I wait here, eagerly and expectantly, for the resurrection of the dead among you and of those of my brethren who have passed on, and for the life of the world to come. This does not mean that I dismiss other gods nor the various magics as fairy tales; only that, by nature, I am opposed to those powers which would keep us all from the one God with enough love and power to anoint Himself with His own wrath in order to defeat the spiritual death into which we are born by inheritance, and someday soon, to kill death altogether.

If you've read this far, thank you for your time! Know that I love you, and that I'm able to because my god decided that we each were worth something more than mere dust.

🥔

[kalmiaphlox]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Thank you @pinkberrytea and @preciouslittlebhaalbae for the tags 💕

When did you start writing?

I would write creatively throughout middle school and that was it for the most part. For my first long fic that was planned out and kept up with to completion, I started writing in December 2023 and never stopped. It was like a dam had been broken!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I am a horror lover. Movies, books, art, etc I love all horror. I would love to be able to write a horror story, but the things I make up in my mind don't feel all that scary/spooky so I don't think I could translate it well.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I don't think so? I just write the way I want to read. I don't think its anything special, my writing is just word vomit that I feel happy with.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I kinda just write wherever when the mood strikes. Currently I am sitting on my couch with Northernlion playing Slay the Spire on youtube, I like background noise of any kind, doesn't even have to be music. I write on my phone a lot (a regrettable choice) because I like to write anywhere like work or the store if I need to jot something down.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Lots of daydreaming and driving in the car gives me my best ideas (I think), not sure why it gets my brain going, but it just does. I have also been inspired by art and I put credit for those works in my chapters when they do inspire something.

Sometimes reading fics would also get ideas flowing because it makes me want to write again (I'm not taking ideas from other fics), but I have barely been reading recently.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Maybe for my main fic? I think something that comes up a lot is not letting the past control your future for a lot of my characters. Also realizing family can be anyone, as long as you let them.

What is your reason for writing?

Mostly just for fun. I felt like I had a good story to tell so I wrote it down, regardless of whether other people like it or not. At the end of the day, this is for me.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I like all my comments in general and I go back and reread them occasionally 💕 Some that really stick with me are the ones where people make suggestions or even question things. There have been comments that made me change entire outcomes because someone left a comment that made me rethink how a character was acting or how an event unfolds.

Also anytime anyone says they have reread my fic just blows me away. It's such an honor but I also want to ask "Why?" because that shit is long and so freaking messy lol

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I don't know, I'm just a person. I hope my readers think they can ask me any questions about anything and that them just taking time out of their day to read my word vomit is so cool and I love every single one of those goobers. Readers are the best. Everyone likes to say they only do it for themselves, but any engagement really keeps us writers going.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Maybe dialogue and humor. It's hard to say honestly.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I waffle between thinking I write some good shit and then also hating every single thing and how on earth do people read my garbage lmao.

I know I don't use proper sentence structure and grammar, but if I start following all those rules, it won't be fun for me anymore.

I am not very descriptive in my writing specifically because my brain likes to fill in the blanks with limited descriptions. I have things look certain ways in my head, but I like to leave a lot of it up to internal interpretation for other people. I also skim a lot when descriptions get too long while I'm reading so I just try to write the way I want to read something. It's probably boring but at this point, I really don't care, I aint changing.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

Purely for myself. My first fic, I had over 100k words already written before I even thought about posting it for others. I may or may not be working on a sequel to my fic, but who knows if I'll ever post it lol

I hope this is all understandable. I am extremely hungover 😅

tagging my writer pals if you would like to answer any of these! @teamdilf, @busy-baker, @spagyricqueen, @dabbles-in-drabbles, @ofsilentthings

[crguang]

Cabernet anon again 👋🏾 🍷

I was rereading your post on when I asked for your thoughts about her and saw your list of your favorite ladies so far. I noticed that you have Adela and Oak Casket (they’re also on my top favorites list too) and I was wondering if you could give us some thoughts or even thirsts about them. Honestly anything you give us great so I have no complaints whether you lean more into one more than the other.

Can I be this emoji 🍷? I definitely be coming back to ask for more ptn stuff so think of me as the ptn girl lol?

HIIII yes you can!! wine emoji for my cabernet anon fits so well, welcome to the circus🙂‍↕️ i have so many thoughts about oak and adela, i’ll try to condense them so this isn’t a lengthy answer.

let’s start with oak!! my attachment to her is very personal and kind of heavy so i won’t say too much but i really resonate with her. she’s experienced death even if it wasn’t in the literal sense and is constantly around the dead since; she’s alive but she’s not. she despises the living for the suffering they cause and forgets that she’s living too. she spends all her time tending to the dead, comforting them, listening to them, making it so that their last regrets are put to rest along with their consciousness. in a weird way, she’s super comforting to me because she understands how ugly living can be. i realize that it’s a sort of twisted line of thinking to believe that death is true salvation but as someone who is scared of it, it makes the whole thing less daunting and in general easier to accept. she had to hold an official funeral for herself to put her past to rest and i felt that so bad😭 i looove how twisted she’s become by being a bridge between the dead and the living world, all she hears are regrets and all she feels is the powerlessness that comes with dying, so she’s obsessed with the idea of experiencing a more “satisfying” death through Chief and that’s so… delicious. and despite how comforting i find her, she’s kinda evil lmfao, she’s the reason for so many conflicts in syndicate from selling information and trafficking goods, and she’s not afraid to use those guns like damn. i always forget about that part because she looks so nice until she whips them out in battle

oak’s design is also one of my personal favorites in the whole game. i’m a sucker for religious themes in darker stories and the priest robes made sexy is insaneee. the cross over her chest, the stole, the gloves ughhh she looks so good. the color green symbolizing immortality when she deals with death all the time because the souls she’s let rest will forever live on with her. her eyes being different color (green and pink, opposites) because she’s at once dead and alive, the only link between these two realms… the black strands in her otherwise ashen hair as if she’s been tainted in some way and carries death with her forever— the cardinal directions on the altar because she’s essentially a guide ohh its so good. plus that ENG voice does a lot of things to meee it’s so soothing and deep, she sounds exactly as she should and it tickles my brain really nicely. paired with her playful yet scary allure it fits her soooo well.

needless to say that oak is insanely gorgeous and i need to feel those hands on my hair while i go down on her and she’s praising my enthusiasm like ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she has the same effect on me as black swan from HSR where every time i see her i have to stop and stare for a while because i can’t believe how sexy she is. how do her boobs stay in that dress. they have to be so perky for her to not need a bra. need them in my mouth until they glisten as i pull away i want her so bad. i feel like she’s a reallll moaner, her voice gets deep and slurred and raspy mm… i’ll show her pleasure she can only get while alive, trust!

on to my BABYYYYYYY. ADELA. oh my goodness i love her so much it’s incredible. i love love love charming women and she’s the epitome of that!!! my first thought about her was, “omg she’s so charming” and she’s only proven that throughout her event. she’s so cute, so kind, so selfless and holds a genuine desire to help others. she’s not manipulating chief and after they broke her shears, she even looks out for them the whole time. bringing them back to her home, changing them, making breakfast, washing their clothes?!$(!?(!?! she just wants to do some good and escape her own troubles i love and understand her so much. i have an avoidant personality so i will run from my issues, if i could erase my own memories of past suffering i would do that in a heartbeat 😭 i really understand the need to eradicate all traces of your pain and sadness, even if some of it is necessary for growth. the analogy of troubles manifesting as long, long hair until it’s all that she sees is incredibly creative and it makes the audience sympathize with her desire to cut it all off despite it causing others pain. she’s such a soothing soul that people have no issue confiding in her, her presence is reassuring and she’s always so calm… i wanna give her a hug and stay like that for half an hour, she could cure me. her voice!!!! i was not expecting the british accent but it’s so soft and sweet. i could listen to her talk for ages, it’s a shame she never has much to talk about because she forgets everything.

i love the “character wants to help others but only hurts them and themselves” trope and that’s literally her. erasing people’s memories unprompted is insane, especially when they include people who mean a lot to them, but she doesn’t see the wrong in it because in her mind she’s solving all of their worries. it’s really cute but she lacks so much nuance that it affects her as well, she wants a peaceful life yet she cuts off her own memories whenever something goes wrong which causes her to forget about the places she’s lived in and the people in it too. she’s not living any sort of life, she doesn’t know where she’s from and has no friends, she isn’t truly remembered by anybody— she’s an empty shell with a smile on her face. it’s sad how someone who so readily helps others must feel so empty inside. she says she has no worries but that’s because she has nothing she cares about enough to worry over, otherwise she’ll snip snip it off just like she did her memories of Chief. she’s learning to feel her feelings and let them pass tho, i’m proud of her <3

what happened with her mother destroyed me because i relate a lot and would have done exactly what she did in that situation, she believed that she was a burden and failed to understand that she was loved (though that’s her mother’s fault) so she ran. my hearttt.

her design is also one of my favs like look at her!!! her hair is what drew me in first and it’s so fitting considering that it’s her whole thing. it looks so good, i love the colors and the stray strands that give it a messy look, and how it gets longer as she’s controlled by the shears like it has a mind of its own. i have no idea what that contraption is on her chest but the scissors are great, and the ones from her earrings too. the leather straps/harness of her coat are my favorite part they remind me of a (sexy) straight jacket and it ties into the whole “she creates her own constraints” thing about her that i love. all in all adela is sooo pretty, just stunning. blue and black were my favorite colors for over a decade so im really biased towards her color palette hehe.

omg i really love how scary she is with the shears it’s such a harsh contrast with her personality. her ult voice line is lowkey terrifying, no wonder she’s an urban legend; “shhh… i… found… you…” in a quiet, sing-song voice is crazy

since she’s more comforting to me than anything else slow, loving sex would be soooo nice. she feels like a service top (my kindred spirit) and she’d want to “ease your worries” that way once the shears are off limits, so she’d learn your body inside and out to make you feel so so good until you forget all about what had you stressed in the first place. she can’t use her blades but we can always scissor! i’m just like her so i wanna fuck her brains out until she can’t remember anything but the words “yes” and “please” <3 she deserves to be so overstimulated her worrying brain turns to mush. wearing a coat with nothing underneath is a choice but like oak, there’s no way her tits just stay in place unless they’re perky enough which kinda drives me nuts mmhhhhh i wanna suckle them like a pacifier😞

this ended up long anyway im sorry about that hhjhgdd but in my defense they’re my favorite characters…

[pink-car]

a list of the assorted thoughts i wrote down when watching my first hockey game

does anyone need to really know these? nope

- why do i root for my home team honestly

- milano is a fun last name

- they honestly are less smooth with the sticks that i was expecting. the random clacking i’ve experienced in school floor hockey is not,,, not happening. which makes sense because like,,, you’re fighting for the puck but Inchresting

- i wonder if it’s normal to be up by 3 and still in the 1st

- any time they just hit that shit as far as possible in the right direction is quite funny to me and reminds me of my own floor hockey strategy. no clue if that’s what they’re actually doing or if i’m missing a nuance but oh well. i know sometimes it’s to a player just way off but i swear sometimes they’re just smacking that shit

- i should have looked at players’ names before this

- oh i do not know positions. i mean i kinda do. like i can figure some of the names out.

- whatever analysis thing is happening now has a guy with a cool rainbow tie 👍

- “they haven’t looked that great” yeah i’ve noticed but when have i ever cared about that

- hey at least the devils are taking more shots on the goal now. even if it doesn’t result in anything

- leaving the goal as a goalie terrifies me. i could never. i get why you would to an extent but Scary

- oh hey look at us (new jersey) go (scored one (1) point)

- oh wow they even did it again

- not to expose myself as someone that doesn’t watch any sport besides motorsport, but it’s fun and visually stimulating to watch them all move

- oh wow again. that one was funky lmao. lots of scrambling

- my knees could not handle being a goalie

- i like this more than (american) football. i like that its just kinda like,,, “here’s the puck, go off” and not like,, “ah well you’ve formally lost the Sport Item so get fucked”

- though i don’t understand when the like,,, not restart but the like “everyone chill and line up again” thing happens and why

- ah the other hughes

- i forgot penalties would be a thing, huh

- i changed my mind. i do think i actually know the positions fine. i thought they were more complicated than they actually are

- i figured out how the penalty worked

- oh god why is it 9pm already

- i could not name a single famous hockey player now that i’m thinking about it. maybe if you said a name i could he like “oh yeah” but at least most other sports i can name like,, someone famous which i guess in an interesting commentary on the lack of focus on hockey in pop culture. i did watch a hockey movie in ap gov once but i cannot remember Anyone

- okay they just showed a wayne gretzky record thing and that is a name i could have been like “oh yeah” to

- i cannot stop hearing “strome” as “stroll”

- i don’t know if it was a strategy to throw yourself in front of the puck or he just fell but i hope it was a strategy because that’s hilarious

- i’m glad the commetators sound as surprised as i am cause this is such a funky breakdown of “i score all the points this period” back and forth between them lmao

- “last night 16 games” yeah please never do that again (they’re doing it again)

- honestly easier to understand than i thought. which i don’t know why i thought it would be super hard

- i just audibly said “eek” what the fuck is wrong with me

- empty net is such a wild concept. the fact that’s even a thing is hilarious. “what if we just. fucked around. went hard yknow”

- new jersey represent (we lost <3)

- i feel like a martin truex jr fan all over again

bonus from the interviews after:

- the rink is in NEWARK? i mean. it makes sense and i don’t know why i’m surprised but damn

overall interesting experience. would watch another game honestly. i’m trying to be normal though. and not. Extreme. i can’t do any more sports to the extreme my god

[wikiangela-fanfics]

I can't love you any more (than I do now)

this is so domestic, fluffy and corny idek lmao

words: 2.6k

[read on Ao3]

You tell me I'm your favorite person Yeah, what we got is workin' And the years have only made 'em more that way

Eddie's pretty sure he and Buck are dating. 

Well, maybe not in so many words. 

They've never talked about it, hell, they never even kissed, or went on a date or anything like that. 

But Eddie can’t help noticing how their relationship has surpassed platonic a long time ago. It’s confusing, sometimes, because he’s not even sure when something changed, but suddenly he finds himself in this weird stage, where Buck is present in every aspect of his life, being a partner and a co-parent, and, honestly, it feels like even more than just dating – Eddie’s marriage might not have been great, but he’s pretty sure what he and Buck have is what a marriage is supposed to look like. It’s scary and confusing, but at the same time, it makes sense, somehow. What they have, that's not platonic, friends don't act like… like they do. But the thing is, whatever they are, they work. It’s the best damn relationship Eddie’s ever been in, and it’s not even an official relationship. Yet.

The thing is, Eddie knows that he’s in love with Buck. It snuck up on him and came so naturally, he wasn’t even surprised when he finally realized that’s what he feels. He’s pretty sure Buck feels the same way – otherwise he surely wouldn’t act the way he does. So, he’s pretty confident their relationship is going in the romantic direction, even if they’re doing it kinda backwards, but he’s letting it play out for now, at its own pace, still testing the waters. He’s working on gathering his courage to do something about it, while he and Buck keep playing house together. Literally.

There are moments when it hits Eddie all over again how much of a family they are, and how domestic and how… how married they act, and he needs a second to not do something stupid, like actually drop down on one knee and propose. Well, maybe he should just do that.

One evening he comes home from work, since he filled in for someone on the B shift, to the amazing smells from the kitchen, that make his mouth water, and sounds of conversation from the room, as well.

“Hey, I’m home!” he calls out from the front door, kicking off his shoes, taking his jacket off, and dropping his duffel bag on the floor.

“We’re in here!” he hears Buck’s voice from the kitchen. When Eddie walks in, he sees Buck at the stove, cooking dinner, and Chris at the table with his homework.

“Hey.” he can’t help a huge smile, and tries very hard to resist walking up to Buck and wrapping his arms around him. Buck looks so cute, wearing one of Eddie’s sweatshirts, and an actual apron, and he’s cooking for them, like he does pretty often now. Eddie loves him so much. “What smells so good?”

“I’m making lasagna.” Buck grins. “Should be ready soon. Chris, next question, come on.”

“Homework?” Eddie asks, taking a seat next to his son. “What subject?”

“Math.” Chris gives him an exasperated look, and Eddie laughs.

“Oh, so Buck’s not really helping, is he?” he teases, looking at Buck in time to see him try to look annoyed, but failing. 

“Come on, I’m not that bad.”

“Well… it’s no secret you suck at math, sorry.” Eddie shrugs, not able to take his eyes away from how Buck’s trying to hide a smile. This kind of teasing and making fun of each other has become a thing in their house- well, Eddie’s house, mostly because of their kid- Eddie’s kid, well, okay, their kid, who always starts it all. It’s always fun, even if Eddie is the object of the jokes more of than not.

“I’m better than you, and I’m in 6th grade.” Christopher says with a laugh, and Buck gasps dramatically. Chris leans in to Eddie to whisper: “I don’t actually need help, he’s insisting.”

“It’s the thought that counts.” Eddie chuckles, shooting Buck an amused look.

“You guys suck.” Buck breaks and finally laughs. Then, before anyone can say anything else, there’s a sound of beeping from somewhere in the house. “Oh, I think the laundry’s done.”

“I got it.” Eddie gets up to get the laundry out of the washing machine, not even wondering why Buck puts on a wash in a house he doesn’t live in. Because it has happened before, and it’s not like Buck’s clothes aren’t all mixed up with Eddie’s in his closet, either. That’s how domestic they’ve gotten. Eddie’s aware that it’s not really something even the bestest of friends do, but that’s how they work. 

When he gets back to the kitchen, Chris’ books are gone, and dinner is on the table. They sit down to eat, and Buck asks him how was work, and they tell him about their day as well, and it’s just their usual night, and it’s perfect.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Buck says at some point, when he glances at the calendar on the wall, filled with both of their handwritings, any events, appointments, shifts, Chris’ extracurriculars, all of that marked. Like a family, like all three of them live here. Maybe it should be this way.  “There’s a parent-teacher conference next Wednesday.”

“Whose turn is it?” Eddie simply asks, because for months now they both have been going, taking turns. It started when Eddie asked him to fill in for him once, and then just never stopped.

“Yours, but we have a day off, so we can go together for once.” Buck shrugs, shoving a forkful of lasagna into his mouth. “It is the last one of the year.”

And Eddie looks at Buck, and his heart beats a little bit faster. He loves how involved Buck is with Chris and his school, that he goes to those conferences, that he’s in the parent group chat, that Eddie definitely muted and gets information from Buck, because all the parents are being annoying and responding with a thumbs up to every single thing the teacher says, blowing up his phone. Buck’s been involved in all kinds of bake sales, school projects, he’s been helping with homework, on occasion driving Chris to school and any extracurriculars, and for sleepovers – they take turns with most of that, to be honest. It sounds like a lot, and it is, and Eddie doesn’t think he’d be able to do it all without Buck.

So, Eddie’s very aware how involved Buck is, and that he knows all the teachers and parents, but when they get there on Wednesday, he’s still taken aback by how happy everyone is to see Buck, how friendly they’re being with him – then again, Eddie’s pretty sure that every single person Buck meets falls a little bit in love with him, be it platonic or not, it’s just how it is, Buck’s too amazing for it to not be the case. Eddie thinks that Buck stole a piece of his heart when they first met, and then, over the years, Eddie kept giving him the rest, piece by piece, and now it belongs solely to Buck.

They find out that Chris is doing great at school, which isn’t a surprise, and when the teacher refers to him as their son, neither feels the need to correct her, because there’s nothing to correct. Buck is Christopher’s parent, and Eddie’s happy that he finally started to believe it and stopped denying it whenever it’s implied, which he did for a hot minute before they talked about it. Well, Eddie talked, maybe even ranted a bit, about how both he and Christopher see him, how he’s the best co-parent Eddie could’ve ever asked for, and Buck just stared at him speechless. He never showed any doubt about his role in Chris’ life again, and Eddie makes sure to remind him of that from time to time.

When they leave the classroom, Eddie decides to be brave, and grabs Buck’s hand, just because he feels like it. Buck looks at him with surprise, and then smiles. They hold hands until they get to the car, and don’t mention it. But it’s something. It’s a start. 

He thinks back to the last couple of months of playing house, of dinners together, doing chores together, Buck spending more nights than not at his place, in Eddie’s bed, because the couch is too uncomfortable for Eddie to let Buck sleep there. Of hanging out with Chris, and navigating this whole pre-teen phase together, which is much less scary with Buck at his side. And even going to freaking parent-teacher conferences together. And as Eddie thinks about all that, and looks at Buck, who’s driving them home, he decides that they’ve been dancing around it long enough. He needs to make a move soon, if Buck’s not gonna.

But it’s another moment, a few weeks later, that comes so casually and naturally he barely registers anything weird about it, that makes him determined to do it that night.

They’re at work, it’s the end of their shift, and they’re changing in the locker room. Eddie’s done first, and before leaving he asks Buck:

“You coming over tonight, babe?” Because for once they came to work separately, because Buck spent last night at his loft, and Eddie missed him like crazy. And he doesn’t realize that the pet name slipped out until he thinks back to this moment later.

“Yeah, of course.” Buck shrugs, not affected by what Eddie said at all. However, out of the corner of his eye, Eddie can see Chimney and Hen exchange glances. “I’ll just stop by the grocery store on the way. I grabbed the list from the fridge.” he adds, referring to the little magnetic notepad they keep on their fridge to add items to the list as soon as they run out – well, Eddie does, it’s his house, but it was Buck who bought it and started using it. “Unless you wanna come with me?” he looks at Eddie while buttoning up his shirt, and Eddie’s eyes follow his fingers automatically.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” he smiles, forcing himself to look back up at Buck’s face. “Our usual store, right?” Buck nods. “Great, I’ll meet you there. Bye, guys.” he throws in the direction of Chim and Hen, and leaves. 

“Have we missed something?” he still hears Chimney ask, confusion in his voice. “When did you guys-” He doesn’t hear the rest, but he knows what Chim’s asking. He wonders what Buck’s answer’s going to be. Because, honestly, Eddie thinks that everyone missed something, including him and Buck. Eddie, for one, feels like they omitted the actual conversation about dating and moving in together, and suddenly that’s just what they do now, at least partly.

So, that night, after doing the groceries, he helps Buck with dinner, just some simple things Buck allows him to do, because Eddie still sucks at cooking – but Buck has been teaching him, and he’s getting better. Later, they eat together, play some board games with their kid, and watch a movie. It’s the perfect, boring, but not boring at all, night in with his family, and Eddie thinks that he’s never been more content in his life.

After Chris goes to get ready for bed, Buck gets up from the couch to start cleaning up. Instead of getting up to help, Eddie just sits there and stares at this man, who moves around his house as if he’s lived here his whole life, who knows where every single item is, sometimes better than Eddie, who already has half of his belongings here, whose presence is visible for anyone who walks in, who’s in all the family pictures… who’s been sharing a bed with Eddie for months now. And suddenly, Eddie hears himself blurt out:

“Move in with us.” Well, that’s not how he planned to start, ideally he’d tell Buck how he feels first, but he can’t take it back now. He doesn’t want to take it back.

Buck stops in his tracks and turns to look at Eddie, three glasses and an empty popcorn bowl in his hands. 

“What?”

“You should move in with us.” Eddie doubles down, now also standing up. He walks up to Buck, takes the dishes out of his hands and places them on the table. He grabs Buck’s hands. “You basically live here already anyway, what’s the point of paying rent for an apartment you sleep in once a week, if not less?” he’s smiling, feeling way calmer than he expected. Buck looks stunned. “You’re here all the time, and I want you here even more often. This is your home, Buck. It just makes sense.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Buck responds, eyes wide, as he’s processing. Eddie’s smile widens, and he puts one hand on Buck’s cheek.

“Then listen to me first.” Eddie takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing. When he speaks, his voice is calm and quiet, and firm. More decisive than ever. “Every time I think I can’t love you any more than I already do,” he hears Buck inhale sharply at that, “I look at you, at your smile that always lights up my day, and at how you are with Chris, at how you fit into our lives, and you prove me wrong. Because I love you so damn much, and I think I’m falling deeper in love every single day, every single second.”

“Eddie.” Buck breathes.

“We’ve been dancing around this for months, if not years. I mean, look at us, at our life together. We’ve basically been married with a kid for who knows how long, and I never even got to take you out on a date.” Eddie chuckles. “We just… work. All the years together, everything we went through, only proved that time and time again. And I’m tired of pretending like I have no idea this is happening. I want you, Buck, in every way imaginable.” he finishes, only now starting to feel nerves, while Buck keeps staring at him, unmoving. Shit, did he break him? Maybe it was a lot to put on him right now, and he needs to process. Because there’s no doubt in Eddie’s mind that Buck feels the same, that’s not even a question.

“Eds.” Buck says, and then a laugh rips out of him. “God, Eddie.” he brings his arms up to wrap them around Eddie’s back, and Eddie instantly relaxes. “You’re my absolute favorite person in the world, you know that? That is, aside from Christopher, obviously.” he grins, leaning in closer, their noses brushing now. “I love you so much. And I want it all, you and Chris, and this family, this home. I want this.”

“Good.” Eddie closes the distance, finally kissing Buck. He tastes like popcorn and soda, and candy he and Chris were eating earlier. He also tastes like sunshine and home, and the rest of Eddie’s life. It’s a sweet and tender kiss, and it only ends when they can’t contain their wide smiles anymore.

“So.” Buck leans his forehead against Eddie’s. “Moving in before we even have our first date?”

“Hey, we started with being all married-domestic and raising a kid together.” Eddie laughs. “So what if we’re doing it a little backwards? It works for us.”

“Okay.” Buck whispers with the biggest smile. “Let’s do it, then.” 

It’s barely a few weeks before the rest of Buck’s stuff is at their home, and he officially moves in. Not much changes. They raise their kid, help him with his homework, have movie and game nights, share chores, cook together, host parties and get-togethers with their friends. They share a life. And Eddie’s heart is so full, he doesn’t think he could ever be happier, or love his little family any more than he does now.

[oaxleaf]

mag 150 - cul-de-sac

the concept of "suburbs" is something that, whilst having set translations in a lot of languages, can have quite different connotations depending on where your from. economically, architecturaly, culturally, etc. as a kid, i was confused by the english speaking depictions of it as soulless and hellish copy-and-paste labyrinths, because what i consider to be the suburbs here in sweden are not necessarily like that at all. i think that this specific brand of suburbia is much rarer here and something i'm honestly not overly familiar with, and i'm not sure whether that makes this episode more or less terrifying

it is one of the scarier ones though, at least to me. i've always been kinda freaked out by empty urban areas, houses that look lived in but there's no one there. it's far freakier than abandoned countryside. it's something about taking this setting that is quite familiar to a lot of us, some place that could, with a tweek or two, be ours, and then corrupting that. the strange is, after all, far less scary if you don't know how it should look. i feel similarly about episodes centered around the internet. in my mind i refer to it as the horror of familiarity

another thing is that this episode is slow-building. like jon himself mentions, the lonely has it's victims do half its work for them. and it makes sense. it's really hard to actively scare someone with the absence of something. making somebody sad and depressed is quite easy, sure, but at the end of the day, the lonely doesn't feed off of that. it feeds of fear. and it does so by letting its victims pull themselves down a spiral of doubt and desperation. i definitely know i'd be driven insane and break down because of this one

there's also something to be said about it being defeated by a loved one. similar to what happened all the way back in mag 48 where gerry tells andrea nunis to keep her mother in mind. similar to what we're about to see in less than ten episodes now...

melanie is not lashing out here. not once, during their entire interaction. which i'm not sure is a first? but it's one of very few in that case. once again, she is really trying here. and jon isn't. she really wants to get out. jon, quite honestly, does not. and by god will i have a lot to say about that in the next couple episodes or so

[konoa-t]

GranEssex Live Konoa Reaction (part 1)

Henlo I am deciding to do a live reading of @kachikirby ‘s series GranEssex Chronicles

I’m gonna try and go through the entire series, starting with the first book, “Wings of Beginning”

This is my first full-on live blogging(?) post, so idk if theres any way I should be doing it but f*ck it we ball

Anyway there’s a lot of text so behind a cut it goes!

(SPOILER WARNING cuz i’ll also be talking about what goes down in the book to give context for my ramblings)

Chapter 1

Note: Gonna try to use punctuation for now but this will probably disintegrate as time goes on (me hate punctuation on tumblr blog ooga booga). Also this live blog is pretty summary-heavy, but I’ll try to tone that down in future posts.

I’ve technically read up until chapter 4, but I’m gonna go ahead and backtrack to look over the previous chapters again and give my reaction on those :D it would feel weird to just start it halfway through anyway. The chapter opens up with Kurabe (if u don’t know who that is you should probably go check out Kachi’s account) going on a mission to eliminate a criminal group only to see that everyone’s just been absolutely bodied by some blue toddler with a stick. Kurabe’s like, “hey I need to take u in for questioning” and the kid is like “nuh uh” and tries clubbing her to death, but obviously Kurabe is stronger so she just blocks him. Even though I was only, like, two sentences in, my attention was already grabbed; I was very excited to see what happened next :D Anyway, Kurabe gets one of her swords knocked out of her hand by the kid, and she’s just like “ah.” But then she teleports behind him and chops him in the back of the head with her hand, causing the kid to faint. I was kinda surprised that she just knocked him out like that, but I guess it makes sense because she had a job to do lmao. Anyway she gets back to her ship and Mercury is there and, upon seeing the child, is just like “HUH”. Kurabe says that he’s fine and only has minor injuries, so she goes to her room to patch him up a little. She wondered why someone would leave their kid on a planet with so much criminal activity, and I honestly agreed because I was just as confused 💀 who leaves a whole toddler on the planetary equivalent of Detroit??? Insane, bro. So anyway she cleans him up and after he wakes up, Kurabe says good morning to him and the kid just immediately goes

Anyway, Kurabe tells him to calm down and asks his name, to which the child responds, “Meta.” It was pretty much implied from the start that this was Meta Knight, but I was still like “OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS HIM” Anyway cue Meta being suspicious of Kurabe and Kurabe trying her best to calm him down. I’m watching this whole interaction go down and honestly wondering if Meta’s just gonna straight up maul Kurabe, but thankfully he doesn’t. Kurabe’s maternal urges start taking over and she offers to raise Meta- err, I meannn… train him (because I can’t imagine it would be good to send him back to space Detroit 💀) and Meta asks if he can stay on her ship forever. Kurabe is like “yeah sure” and then after talking, she helps show him around his new room and then they sit down and have a meal together. The image of Meta playing with the spaghetti was really cute :D Meta makes mention of Kurabe’s sword and Kurabe tells him that she’d train him. However, she did warn him that he training was so intense that students have quit or even DIED because of it (which is…. Scary /not neg). He agrees to the training. Meta then got kinda tired so he went to go to sleep, and as Kurabe was tucking him in, he grabs onto her and they end up falling asleep together :DD Overall this was a very cute chapter and it does a great job of grabbing the attention.

[secretgamergirl]

Have I done any serious Lovecraft bashing in the last year or two? I feel like I’m overdue.

I’m almost positive I’ve sat down and written at least one big long post on the general subject of how there is nothing redeemable or interesting about H.P. Lovecraft, but I’ve also definitely seen another like hundred examples of people misrepresenting his influence and talent since, so, here’s another one.

See, there’s this popular myth that H.P. Lovecraft, despite being one of the all-time most virulent racists and quite open about it, was some kind of grand visionary who made all kinds of super important contributions to the horror genre, and... he just didn’t. Honestly I’d kinda want to burn down his legacy even if he did, because no for real, the racism was absolutely astounding. People’s jaws were on the floor about it even when he was alive. I feel pretty good about just completely throwing the whole output of right wing extremists in the dumpster like nazi game devs and such, so I don’t see why this should be different, but also for real, nothing of value is lost in doing so.

Like, first of all, he’s just a really bad writer. Really formulaic structure to all his stories, they all have basically the same protagonist and he sucks, tons of purple prose setting things up and then just kinda glossing over the main events, and dude really did just abuse the hell out of a thesaurus. And the subject matter’s not great either! In pretty much everything he ever wrote the big scary thing is kind of always just privileged white dude anxiety. “What if I’m not the center of the universe? What if I’m not actually a pure and noble white guy but I’m secretly the product of the dreaded race mixing? What if, like, a trans woman was kind of into me? What if I ad to deal with some other culture doing stuff I’m not comfortable with? There’s a couple that are more “starfish are just creepy” but it’s not a huge element in those and also I mean that’s just true.

There’s still the big influences though, right? Well, not really, no. Evil cults trying to bring back evil gods/monsters was totally ubiquitous way before Lovecraft. Super advanced space weirdos were too. Big freaky monsters doing sexual stuff with tentacles simply does not happen in any of his stuff. There’s no cool monsters really. Or people doing cool magic rituals. Just glancing at things and running away really. Like, guy wasn’t just unpopular in his day because he was a white supremacist scumbag, he also just couldn’t write well. I’m always pointing this out, but you realize Cthulu isn’t even actually much of anything in Lovecraft’s actual stories? The Call of Cthulu is mostly just this all build-up kind of story, with a couple people piecing a few random incidents into a vague semblance of an investigation, and at the end some big goofy sea monster starts to wake up from a coma and then... promptly has a ship plow into its head causing it to pass out again. That’s it. That’s the whole story. No big evil plans or minions or eating 1d6 investigators, no referencing in other stories. Basically everything in the pop culture “Lovecraftian” bubble is fan fiction, mostly tracing the route of “someone made a tabletop RPG vaguely inspired by other authors’ playing with this guy’s stuff which ended up being popular enough in Japan to be name dropped in some porn VNs, and people just kind of assume tracing that all the way back must lead to something good.”

This all made a lot more sense before/in the early days of the internet, where there was a sort of weird nerd elitism in knowing certain bits of obscure trivia and catching the right references. A lot of actually really talented horror people back in the day kind of got in the habit of referencing some memorably weird terms this one old racist tossed into stories that sometimes showed up in one of the oldest horror magazines one could find copies of if they really looked. In particular people found it really fun to keep referencing “the necronomicon” as like a pokedex for weird ancient monsters and occult stuff and made it enough of an in-joke to mislead people into thinking this was a real book. But the whole idea was you had to have access to this magazine from the 1920s to really be in on the joke. Stuff just kinda doesn’t work that way anymore. Wikis kinda killed being in the know on weird trivia connections.

The other thing though is people used to just do a little name drop of a book or a monster while doing their own stuff, and that’s fine, but now you have so damn many people doing “Lovecraftian” stuff where they more directly reference his better known stories, and there’s kinda this whole subgenre where people just run down that checklist. There’s dozens of “Lovecraftian horror” games where ooh, you’re some reedy nerd or detective and you go to this town called Innsmouth and people are suspicious and oh no they’re like fish people and they chase you around and you pass out or maybe find some weird idol and somehow or other you’re on this big mystery island and we’re directly quoting that “even death may die” line without context, and whispering voices tell you to poke at 7-pointed star symbols and oh no, you woke up Cthulu and he comes and eats you, credits. And like... it’s just running through the same checklist every time. It’s never informing a more original work, or putting interesting twists on things. It’s like how you used to have nerds just quoting whole scenes out of Monty Python and the Holy Grail or quoting catch phrases from Austin Powers or Borat. Just so incredibly tedious and pandering to people who don’t ask for anything more than having the references they know quoted back endlessly.

Anyway, point is, we really wouldn’t lose out on anything if we just freaking buried this one old racist hack. If you want to do some referencing and name dropping to weird spooky stuff that’s maybe from space or the ocean or whatever, there’s plenty of stuff you can shout out that’s actually good, and isn’t giving a certain kind of people to start grinning smugly and referencing what this guy named his cat. Like for real, any time you feel compelled to drop in some kind of Lovecraftian reference somewhere, just namedrop Junji Ito instead, or directly reference a short story of his. It’s all way more interesting and fleshed out and you’re just throwing a spotlight on someone who as far as I can tell is just a really nice talented artist who likes cats. Cats with names you can say out loud, even.

[arklayraven]

Spoilers for Asmo-Chan Overindulges card

I gotta kinda vent/rant about this...And yes I will be mentioning Solomon in this. So you have been warned.

Also keeping properly untagged and reblogs off for obvious reasons...

Won't lie, I dislike seeing Asmo drink a lot and becoming like this...I love him to bits. He's my everything and I just want him happy and doing what he loves. But I sadly have a line I don't like crossed, and that's people drinking a lot and getting drunk, especially around me.

I know this is just part of Asmo's character, hell even Lucifer indulges a little(okay a lot) on drinking too much until he's just a blabbering love fool desperate for MC's love and attention. But even that side of Lucifer, I don't like much...

I mean when Luci said he loved me while drunk...It triggered me, and made me really upset. because I had someone do same to me in the past but that love to me ended up not being genuine in the end...

As stated before, I don't like it because of personal bad experiences...But guess I'll add more to my reasons...I don't like dealing with people who are drunk, and get too emotional too from it, because it honestly puts me on edge and all...Like some can be total drunk sweethearts yeah, but others...Like Solomon for example from that one time in NB...can come off so unsettling, hurtful, scary and controlling.

Like I don't like this side to Asmo much...I won't deny it, but I'll take this any day than dealing with what I had to deal with from Solomon again. Like that moment with Solomon triggered me, lol, and I don't want to deal with that again...

Then there's more to say, when it comes to Asmo...I'm gonna make some guesses here and all. But here's what I just thought of...

Asmo seems to drink more if the option is there, when he starts to feel self conscious of himself, and possibly of his relationship with MC. (as shown after he increased his drinking after he thought Mammon was flirting with MC) If he feels things aren't going his way or is fearful of possible hurt, rejection or all coming soon. Then he'll resort to drinking to run away from the feelings and all. What better way to numb the pain or ignore your feelings than drinking right?

Well...sadly its not the answer obviously, and I do appreciate we get the options in the devilgram here shown, to tell Asmo he's drinking too much. Or he's had enough, etc. Like that's love to me, to be there to take care of your dear one, when you know they've clearly reached their limit or went beyond it, and to be there to stop them and take care of them.

I can't blame Asmo for going to just lengths when he starts to feel those negative emotions though. I don't drink alcohol, will never will for clear reasons. But I don't deny I do resort to drinking more coffee than I should, when I start to feel too upset and all. Does it do anything to help? No. But I like to fool myself I guess into thinking its comforting me, when in reality I know I'm just hurting myself more than helping myself... (honestly shout out to Asmo for telling me i'm drinking too much coffee and he's been growing concern...been trying to learn to cut it down now.)

...I gotta talk about Solomon again, lol, its just bothering me...

I'm just thinking about that night he and Asmo made a pact together. He knew Asmo wasn't okay, and was drinking too much. Yet instead of showing care and concern over him. He just was first annoyed by Asmo just seeking out some comfort and someone to listen to him vent/rant. But then started to have interest in Asmo after he learned Asmo was Lucifer's brother...and well...we know what happens after that...

I just hate it...Asmo deserved better...Deserved someone who showed much concern and love to him when he was getting in that state or found like that. Thankfully, MC, if you choose it that is, can be that person finally Asmo deserves in his life. I'm grateful for that from the writers at least...

There's more I'm sure I want to talk about but lost my train of thoughts. So stopping here. lol

[slashingdisneypasta]

Omg I love the would you rathers so much- anyway here are my answers:

1. I’m sorry, but I am absolutely chomping. I feel like he’d still make a sexual reference either way, like “Damn, you’re that excited to go down on it? 😏”

2. Yeah Jennifer is getting someone else. Best part is I can get rid of a guy I don’t like!

3. I would never do that to Bubba 😭, I’ll take one for the team. My no-major injury streak had to end sometime

4. Look, Patrick is the one of the many people I’d rather not make an enemy with, so I’ll gladly go sleep on the couch. Chances are someone else might tell him to shut up though.

5. I do not trust Chucky within an inch of my life. Jason will at least be courteous and withhold on the chopping, can’t say the same for Michael but if I’m quick enough, I can get by without a stab wound.

6. Omg this one was so hard. I guess I’ll go with Beetlejuice. At least I can make him go away

7. As a child of divorced parents, going into the kitchen with two people are arguing will be just like old times. If I want chips I’m getting chips

8. Well, I have no idea how hard she’s flinging that table. So sorry Carrie, as much as I would like to help you, I’d rather not possibly die by table

9. So my favorite Slasher is Jason and my favorite Non-favorite is Pennywise. I honestly don’t know if either of them really need my help, but if I had to pick one…..I’ll save Penny. Jason has a history of coming back after dying so he’ll be up and going again soon. Penny can only do so much against an adult

10. I’m going to Mama Voorhees, I think she’ll appreciate the honesty. If I go to Freddy, I’ll have to owe him a favor, and something tells me he’ll take full advantage of that

11. Truth. God knows what they’d make me do as a dare.

12. Again, a very hard choice. I guess I’ll go with Patrick, at least he’ll try to make me look flattering.

13. I would definitely want Penny to turn into Freddy. It would come as no surprise to anyone if “Freddy” flirted with Pam. Plus, it’d be kinda funny seeing Jason chuck Freddy through the wall lol

What are your answers though? 👀

I'm so glad you liked them XDD

Oh he sure would- that or he'd be over dramatic and toony and, like, you would see his soul would crack inside his eyes XDD

Exactly!! I'm glad this is the consensus so far XDD Like, Jennifer's telling ya'll that A sacrifice must be made., and you're just going 'Okay! :D :D :D I have a list!'

That's very brave of you ^^ ^^ XD Bubba should make you a stew.

Oh same. We can brave the living room together! I think if we build the best fort- it should be fine. Haha

Again, guys-

I just don't think these are the actions of a polite boy!! This is a bitter old man!

6. Hahahaha, I'm glad it was hard 😈😈😈

7. Sameeee!! Don't mind us, guys, just gettin cheezels. Hey do we have- Hey. Hey. HEY- DO WE HAVE THE CHICKEN FLAVOUR??

8. Good call 😅

9. Good point!! We shouldn't worry too much about Jason. He's stubborn ^^ Also- same as Fox Anon!

10. Very honourable!! And you now may befriend Jason because you're pure! Congrats!

11. OKAY YOUR TRUTH! Here we go- from Billy and Stu: Would you live inside Christine, a car, if she allowed you to do so??

12. Ohhh, good choice!! Yeah, and you'd probably get some really nice, expensive digs out of the deal!

13. Its always funny to see Jason take the hammer to Freddy XD I agree.

Thank you for your answers!!! They're were great! Also thank you for the opportunity to give my answers, too! ^^ They're below if you're interested ^^

I'm eating that popsicle normally. I canNOT bite cold things, or hot things, or wood- My teeth are SO SENSITIVE!! If he has a reaction, oh well that sounds like a him problem and he can deal with it.

I'm sure I can find someone for her...

I kinda wanna meet Aubrey II!! 😅😅😅 So yeah, I'll go! Bubba can stay inside and have a tea. But I'm gonna see if I can, like, drop some food down from above somehow.

Couch!! Patrick is scary. Bring all your blankets and pillows and books for the fort. Also chocolate- we'll need rations.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, this one was hard!! I think I have to go with Jason and Michael too, though! I'd rather be manhandled to death (What? Look me in the eyes and tell you that some of those gifs of Michael holding women against walls with knives and yanking them around doesn't do something to you. Look me directly in the eye- ) then whatever that dreaded big red button does... God forbid.

Drayton!~ I love Drayton ^^ And I'm very good at listening. And-

... no no no- No. No. NO

7. Like I said, I'm with you here.

8. ... *sigh* I'm probably gonna get concussed. Bring on the table!

9. Favourite Slasher? Freddy. Favourite Non-Slasher? Probably Aubrey II now!

... I would love to see this fight XD And I would probably try to save Aubrey II. Like you said- Slashers have a knack for comin back.

10. If Freddy can help me I'm going to him. That way- if it all goes south still and Pam finds out anyway- I'm not going down alone. I am taking him with me. Ha

11. Oh dear god. ... truth...

12. Oh!! Oh! This is hard. I... hmmmm... I'm gonna go with Jerry. He might be nicer to me 😅😅 And he does have a good sense of style.

13. Oof... the thought of real Chucky being oh so confused and wondering why the hell Tiffany is throwing shit at him again is hilarious... But yeah, option B. I'd rather get Freddy chucked out a window then cause a divorce.

[rose-and-lemongrass]

🙅‍♀️🎥📽️

🙅‍♀️

Honestly anything too torture-y. There are movies I like that have torture in them, but either its mostly offscreen/goes by quick or it's just one or two scenes. What bothers me are the movies that are ALL torture. I don't know how someone can watch 2 hours straight of people in pain. Like I'd never watch an Eli Roth film, and I've really been dragging my feet watching Saw. I know the first one isn't nearly as bad but the whole idea of the series kinda grosses me out so I keep putting it off. Also it's not rare for animals to die in horror movies but I will avoid a movie if I know it happens. Like I would probably like Drag Me to Hell, but I know what happens to the kitten so I've been avoiding it.

🎥

I think everyone should watch Nope. I think it's a masterpiece. I'd consider it more of a thriller than a horror movie, though. There's that One Scene which is one of the most anxiety inducing things Ive ever seen (fun fact the second time I watched it in theaters I started crying right before the scene happened bc I was so scared to see it again). But the rest really isn't that scary.

So definitely watch Nope if you can, but if you want more of a horror movie... I love The Menu, it came out last year. I was going feral watching it in the theater. I know people who hate horror movies who loved it. And I know its reputation but the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie is super close to my heart. If gore bothers you I promise that its not gory at all, no one believes me when i tell them, but aside from from blood splatter there's no gore. My cousin hates gore but she watched it with me a few halloweens ago and she liked it a lot. The dinner scene is legit one of my favorite scenes of all time, the directing is really cool. I love it to death, I watch it every October.

📽

Cherry Falls is usually my go to for obscure horror movies. I feel like I'm one of the only people who cares about it at all, or even knows it exists. It traumatized me pretty bad as an 8-year-old, but as an adult i dont think its scary. it's a really interesting movie though and is still very relevant today. It's just REALLY hard to find. I think the only way you can even watch it is by buying the Bluray. Also heavy cw for sexual assault. It has a point in the movie, it's not just for shock value, it's a part of the message. But yea heads up if it bothers you at all (i did make a video on it a long time ago too so I guess you can check that out???)

Something that's easier to find: Cube. I love Cube, it's such an engaging watch. It's very character driven and the premise and setting is really unique. And I think it’s on Tubi!! 10/10 would recommend