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#and like ig that's also what freaks me out?
toffeebrew · 2 days
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eughhh sleepiness is taking over must write about inky boy. ink sans is by @/comyet
i think upon reanalyzing some asks and the FAQ i have begun to understand how inks err emotions work a little better. a bunch of this is me kinda theorizing sooo yeah. it's not as uhh clear as my other rants are
His emotions aren't really "fake". at least my definition of fake. He still feels.
Instead, their main struggle is to balance and understand his emotions. Like in this ask:
So, he can definitely have quote on quote "normal relationships" with other people
One day you may ask him and he'll be like yeah i care about them alot and the next he doesn't feel very attached at all. As i interpreted "not making sense" as to not understanding why or how he even cares for these people. It seems really dependent on his internal emotional balance. The pretending comes in to play where he may exaggerate or lie about his emotions. Perhaps because he himself wants to have these attachments. Or because he wants to spare others feelings.
more yappage under the cut
According to his FAQ, he realizes his soullessness is an advantage (and theres not any realistic/non morally dubious means to obtain one) and wouldn't change that. However, i don't believe he is completely content with some of the drawbacks. He feels the need to hide his soullessness, as indicated in his design notes. But it "shows through". He feels the need to "pretend to have a soul" -from his backstory comic. This may be because he feels insecure in some way. believing his own emotions are less than others. Or his feelings are invalid or fake because he doesn't have a soul. Or at the very least not as real as others. Because he doesn't feel emotions the way others do, it must be wrong. Because hes chaotic neutral, i don't think these are things others contributed to his line of thought. Rather, something hes internalized himself. not that he would ever tell anyone that.
He may also hide this fact not the freak people out. Man does enjoy a bit of mischief, but it probably be kinda hard to work with other people if you have a large chance they may be scared of/don't trust you. I also think he doesn't actually want to like...petrify people. Which i would imagine many monsters would struggle, if they knew. given what people may assume of him. Or at least that's what he thinks ig shsksh.
Given he fears loneliness i think both of these reasons may contribute. He doesn't want people to abandon him. abandonment issues caused by trauma he can't remember.
But he can definitely feel extremes as well. being "overexcited" so much so he forgets consequences. He vomits up ink when shocked or overly passionate. I didn't expand on this as much because i feel like others have explained better than i ever could.
as his FAQ indicates his emotions can be separate from his morality. so its not necessarily contradictory for him to have these big emotions but still have uhh ig a more neutral way of looking at things. ig
btw this post was inspired from this analysis!! i tried to add my own spin on my commentary
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spocksmalewife · 1 year
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i'm experiencing a dilemma
#tmi#so like ig i'm dating someone rn?#like i think??#idfk like literally don't know anything this is so new to me#but like we met at a [REDACTED] thing and like group chatted where the other person we were with did most of the talking but he kept#stealing like these sidelong glances at me like bedroom eyes type shit so like ik he's interested#and like ig that's also what freaks me out?#cuz i'm like verrrry anxious detached like i just want to run away but also he's like also really cute and i'm morbidly fascinated by the#whole situation???#so we recently went on a ''date'' (i'm assuming??? like he's still paying a lot of attention 2 me and we've organized other things)#but like that's what also freaks me out like due to the nature of our meeting like I KNOW he's big into seggs and ~~experienced~~#(no no not old we're thankfully close in age)#and like when i'm away from him like i get to thinking ''oh yeah i could do this we could do this it would be super cool and fun''#but when i see him i get all cold and nervous and detached#meanwhile he's like v open and flirty#like i do want to but i don't ugh#like idk what to do just see how this plays out?#like i also don't want to lead him on only to completely bail#and like i've given the impression like i can d'm but like i'd probably just end up curling into a ball dskfhdkjhjha my mental state is so#shattered aaaaaaaa#but like also is this kind of nervousness normal too?#or am i just mentally ill?#we've got a rope class thing scheduled so maybe experiencing closeness in a public safe environment will do a lot of the vetting 4 me#like i keep having running commentary in the back of my head of kat blaque saying ''s'bs can be so pushy and beg you to d'm them''#and like is this what's happening rn????#and like iw if i'm feeling like this bc i'm on my . and everything just feels gross to me rn#cuz man i tell ya back when i was ovulating my brain was a total crapshoot sludge of hormones so i would have done anything then#ig to summarize bodies are terrible and it should be the brain manipulating the body but it's the OTHER FUCKING WAY AROUND FOR SOME REASON?#update: ok lol now that i've calmed down a bit i realise i literally do not have to have sex with this guy#i can just do my k'nky shit and leave 🏃‍♀️
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dizzybevvie · 1 month
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obligatory kh1 Paopu tree scene redraw
og under cut <3
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eebie · 8 months
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im like that one marvel artist except instead of not being able to draw feet i'm constantly fighting an uphill battle of not drawing tits on my creature designs
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superpussyking · 7 months
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Adding voice acting in sister location was awesome and epic but every instance of voice acting in the games after that just kinda ruin the vibe for me. But I haven't heard anyone else mention the voice acting at all so idk if this is a hot take or fairly common.
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waywardsalt · 10 months
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now bc of that one post abt zelda getting fridged whenever that one guy directs a zelda game im thinking abt tetra just getting turned to stone in ph and like. what would it have been like if she were an actual character in ph. what would she have done how would this have changed the story
#not gonna do a whole lot of tagging im just musing. if you wanna rb or reply with ideas thats great#im not the person to figure this out bc i dont actually care much abt tetra#not like oh i hate her but like. i only played ph and what i see of her beyond that has not endeared me to her#shes fine i just dont get it. ig cuz i didnt play ww but eh#cuz like. ok. pretty much the majority of phs plot relies on tetra having been turned to stone and fixing that#and me being the autistic little freak i am the psrt that also makes it hard for me to wonder what could happen if#tetra werent stone and that making the game better is like. ok what about linebeck and his arc#listen his arc is so fucking good and hes great and i dont think his arc would have been so good if link wasnt the character he was put wit#cuz link is a great foil and despite having minimal characterization has just the right personality to nudge linebeck along#cuz hes def part of what inspires some of that change in linebeck so idk what might have happened#if tetra was an active player interacting with him in ph too. cuz like idk most of the time when i see people#do stuff where they interact its usually tetra one upping linebeck or whatever and thars like. ok thats whar ciela does#maybe im reading into it too much and focusing on linebeck. idk how you couldve done and changed#the plot of ph to include tetra without just straight up rewriting the whole thing or putting link away#bc look me in the eyes. i do not think linebeck would have developed the way he did without having met link specifically#salty talks#idk i feel like linebecks arc is the best bit of story in ph so i want that to remain more or less intact bc thats where a lot of#the emotional stuff comes in at the end. his dialogue in the ghost ship battle and the final boss. its important#i dont think about tetra much cant you tell. so id leave this to someone who actually cares abt her as a character
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SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP THIS DAY WAS A ROLLER COASTER
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...:0 WHAT THE FUCK IM NOT JOKING IM FREAKING OUT THAT POST FROM TWO MONTHS AGO IS ALMOST AT 1K NOTES AND I HAVE OVER 800 NOTES TODAY BC OF YOU FUCKERS I LOVE YOU GUYS ALSO TWO GIMMICK BLOGS THAT I LOVE REPLIED TO ME AND I HAD TO SIT THERE STIMMING BC OF THAT FOR A FEW MINUTES OH MY GOD I--- IM DEAD, GONE, DECEACED, I KICKED THE BUCKET, FOLLOWED THE LIGHT, IM GREETING SATAN RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD
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arowrath · 9 months
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i was thinking abt dying my hair blonde (nottttt for blorbo reasons) (<- half true) but if i end up looking like my mother or more like my twin as a blonde i would actually lose it
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just need a steady hand to hold
written for @zukkaweek day three: bedsharing <3
Sokka opened his eyes, intending to lovingly look at his boyfriend’s beautiful face, and froze.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a large, brown stain on the sheets of his bed, just below Zuko’s back. It was almost circular in shape, as if someone had put a circle in a jar and shook it a little bit. The edges were a darker brown then the rest of it, and it stretched from the edge of his bed to somewhere under Zuko.
Suddenly, their perfect, quiet night was ruined as his vision began to blur and his breath started to get heavier.
Bile rose in his throat—he was going to throw up.
“Zuko,” he squeaked, trying his best to keep the anxiety pulsing at his throat down, “I—we need to get off the bed. Like, right now.”
[or: sokka sees an old stain on the sheets and has a panic attack because sensory thing and is worried zuko thinks he's stupid]
♡5,625 words | zukka♡
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kingcervix · 10 months
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It's 3 am and I'm nauseous and I don't have a date tomorrow but I also don't NOT have a date tomorrow. It's platonic..but it might not be by the end of.it. if I have anything to say about it
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autopsytableromance · 11 months
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Got invited to a party by a coworker and I have literally nothing to wear I have 0 fucking accessories this is a nightmare
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unstablemotions · 2 years
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My psychiatrist avoiding diagnostic labels since she's of the belief that they are damaging to recovery yet she's forced into realising that her patient needs some sort of language for their mental health issues because they are confused and terrified about what is going on:
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ironmanstan · 1 year
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one of these days my dad is gonna realize what my school schedule is in the meantime he will continue to exist adjacently to me and never in the same space
#guy who brags constantly about me getting into my program and didnt realize th school im going to is like good#until he told one girl and she recognized the name and freaked out#and now he wont fucking quit with it#meanwhile: keeps complaining its gonna get real old driving me to school and please please learn to drive#i have class. 3 days a week. technically 2 bc one class is online and i only go in that day really late in the afternoon lmfaoooo#does he know this. no not at all. has actually not asked a question about what im gonna be doing#instead keeps worrying i have no future and keeps asking what career i want to go into and also is it animation its animation right#why not animation... oh well maybe you can transfer into animation later : )#yeah ok. sure. why dont i transfer into animation so i can fucking smash a brick into my skull#screaming and dying he needs to go back to forgetting i am real he is paying too much attention to goings on now#idk how to relax and everything is coming up now and i feel like im dying slightly lmao. sitting at my desk working all weekend#working on what. who knows bc i hurt my shoulders too bad to do anything real. stressing myself out further for nothing#dies and explodes i should be excited and be doing fine but well lmao. lmao. i will probably feel better when i go in tomorrow#i dont know man ptsd brain is like nothing good can happen for long! standby for the other shoe to drop#and well it sure is coming to a head now bc getting in would be really. really good. so ofc the other shoe will drop right#i know it wont but my brain doesnt know that so fear sits in my whole body all day all night stress dream city baby#vent#ig#dies and explodes
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dankovskaya · 1 year
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Ok I watched. The one horror movie on his filmography and that was um. That was um.
#It's one of those really grounded ones which have to potential to actually freak me out more than any other kind of horror movies#(like green room)#where there is nothing at all supernatural or paranormal or even just over the top#It's abt a couple of hyperpatriotic veterans living in the woods and posing as customs agents who stop a group of americans#coming back from Canada and. keep them in cages and torture them until they die to ''protect the country'' or whatever#And like yes until they  all die. Off screen. there's no resolution whatsoever and no ''final girl'' or anything#And it does a weird thing where you stop seeing any of them like 20 or more minutes before the movie ends and it completely switches over#to following the private investigator sent to search for them and establishes a lot of stuff about him 😭 AND THEN HE JUST DIES TOO?#I wouldn't necessary care about no one ''winning'' if the villains weren't so expressly bigoted ig#Micheal's character specifically has a ''muslim sounding name'' so he gets constantly tormented over being a ''terrorist'' throughout#the whole thing and it seemed like he was being set up as like the. The Hardest One To Break or something so I was really expecting#him to turn the situation around or at least be the last one standing but#No they all just got killed at an unspecified point off screen I guess and the last shot of the movie is#one of the freaks cleaning out the shipping container they died in for the next batch of subpar americans to get killed in I guess#Like ok the bleakness was intentional ofc but it also just felt like. Well what was the point of all that then#ALL OF THT BEING SAID I actually liked it more than I thought I was going to based on the description 😭
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spade-club · 2 years
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Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
(I found this and thought I might as well do this to help myself with denial later!! obvious abuse tw!! also I have a lot of stuff that came from outside the house too, but this is like. parent stuff yeah idk!!)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change (gender but same deal)
parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
parent threatened to leave me
parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
parent didn’t notice I was depressed
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive (hardly even that)
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
parent only gave me minimal money to survive
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
#oh man uh. hm.#literally im not kidding TODAY my parents told me I had it so easy compared to them#like. okay. you didnt hit me#congrats on that im sure that was so hard for you?? but like. that doesnt erase the everything else.#they literally started talking about the abuse they went through as kids and I was just like. I cant participate in this conversation.#and then my dad said its because I had it easier and im like. yeah sure well pretend thats why haha#anyway thank you emotional amnesia for allowing me to do this post easily. you suck but ily xx#also there was nothing for *dragging me through the house to get me to do what they wanted* but thats okay ig#also idk what forcefully undressing me and shoving me into shower classifies as either#so like. yk. there is some physical stuff too its just idk what to call either of those#oh also for the food one its bc I was allergic to the stuff they were feeding me and I told them that but they didnt listen!!#so pretty epic double whammy there#OH AND my mom would tell me after every fight *you better not be telling people about this*#to the point that I stopped telling people because I was scared she would find it and freak out#alsoalso the only reason she knew I was sh-ing was because she read my texts and then she demanded me to tell her everything about it#so she could *help me* or whatever. and then she promptly never brought it up again as if it never happened#so a lot of weird as fuck shit idk#also the way she checked my texts to make sure I was okay but didnt notice me being groomed online lol#and instead just taunted me about the crush I had that she found out about through that. fucking. okay.#okay thats enough oversharing I will just hit post now hehe
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years
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literalyl insane if my dumb feelings don't go away I'll have to start a normal normal rant tag for him I think –_–
#mine#i feel so bad i havent talked to anyone except my group thats involved in my hyperfixation recently uwagh#i will try to take a break tomorrow. hyperfixation doubled with guy im kind of obsessed with creates literally no time for anything else#im still taking care of myself while being so fixated i cant move for several hours. good on me for that#anyways anyways i tried not to be deranged today. not even fathoming romance atm im just happy i get to be around him teehee#made me rly think about how hes been very chill with everything ive ever said to him even tho i am a little freak . which is uncommon#i am not daydreaming about it because itll break my fucking heart but im content for now i think :) i like hanging out with him#'im normal about him' proceeds to talk abt him on my yandere blog.#im not feeling yanderish i just dont have another place to talk abt this stuff so here it is! bon appetite#im not rly freaking out as much and im good at distancing myself from him. even tho idk if anything will happen im trying to#practice controlling my insane person feelings when around him ;-; im doing good i THINK i havent been as weird#my thoughts around him are all weird and distorted and not quite romantic (yet?) but i know that i just feel comfortable w him#im:) im happy im enjoying. watch him get a partner immediately after this and i go batshit bc that is my freakin luck#well it doesnt matter i had a good time while i could and thats what counts ig . had only a smidgen of hope anyways! but its ok#i am so jaded to romance i am going to accept whatever happens and hope its atleast funny . and he finds humor in it#n i would get to hear his horrid laugh. itd be nice. i like it its very contagious. his voice maxes my brain out in serotonin#he was messing around w me in [hyperfixation] and i really enjoyed the attention hwuwhidhekfn made me flustered#i was saying like Romantic CodedTM things to him and he was just giving indecisive responses but not elaborating . so who knows#im not fretting or anything like its fun its chill i feel relaxed !! very casual stuff am having a good time. he has beautiful eyes also.#hes so talented and knows what hes doing. and hes so freaking smart he knows so much stuff oh my god.#i keep having repeated dreams abt him its weird fjdjfjdk. normal things to say abt ur friend btw. normal#i think his fascination w [redacted] is so beautiful his memory is rly good too. im NORMAL i swear#i like to cause spectacles that are memorable and funny so he pays attention to me more. i like attention from everyone but his is esp. fun#i love my friends so much i tell them that i appreciate them everyday. i hope they know they are loved so much#i probably just love the side of himself he chooses to show n not his authentic true self bc online stuff oh well#tho i do feel if you spend an ungodly amnt of hrs straight with someone then you are bound to know them more intimately#i love doing absolutely nothing with my friends and make our own fun in boredom. reminds me of my childhood#maybe i am allowed to think abt him awkwardly patting me on the head. as a treat#this guy reminds me of a previous love interest too except he doesnt emotionally abuse me or himself and has a freaking soul#💿
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