#but like we met at a [REDACTED] thing and like group chatted where the other person we were with did most of the talking but he kept

[spocksmalewife]

i'm experiencing a dilemma

[jollyfang]

This blog has been titled ‘Late Night Ramblings’ since it’s inception, but it’s only been recently that I’ve actually started, y’know… actually posting anything that’s not just reblog if other peoples posts.

Which is fine, everybody reblog the stuff they like so they can share it with their own group of followers. And I’m really glad I’ve decidedly to put myself out there and start chiseling out a tiny place for myself in the fandom spaces I’ve been lurking in.

The point I’m making is I haven’t really done a whole lot of the so-called ‘late night rambling’ I set out to do. So here’s some of the shit that’s been on my mind tonight. It’ll be long so I understand if nobody wants to read about something not fandom related (fandom adjacent, maybe?? I do bring up some of my redacted ocs) if you do decide to keep reading- then that’s very sweet if you, much appreciated and I love you for doing that 😊

ANYWAY!

So back when I was still a teenager, roughly around the age of 15 and bored out of my mind on summer break- I discovered a website that would be my first foray into the role-play world. (Not that kind of site and not that kind of role-play, just in case anyone’s mind started swerving into pervy territory)

It was a role play game site called Reign of Blood, it’s still up today but I haven’t played in years. You could make a vampire, talk in the forums, do quests and level up, join a coven; all that fun stuff. PVP and PVE were a thing too but I never did any of that. And it was all completely text based. I was obsessed with it for years, all throughout highschool.

For the years that I was playing what I mostly took part in were the one on one RP chats. There were open chats where you could role play with everyone online at the time but it was much more fun to find a partner and just start telling a story together, just the two of you.

Which is kind of why I’m writing all this now. Because after a year on the site, and I can’t even remember how we found each other, I found an incredible writing partner. We spent two years cultivating a story that, while more than a little cheesy and possibly a bit cringy, has stuck with me for years. And I never knew his real name. His user name was John, he had a proofs picture of Moriarty from Sherlock, and his character was named Dakota.

Dakota Zero. A fallen Archangel.

My character was a hybrid, half susdubus/half vampire. Her name was Xhex Shadowheart. (I was a teenager, it was a vampire game okay..)

She worked as a bodyguard for other supernaturals, was estranged from her family and was hiding from an obsessive ex boyfriend who at one point tried to kill her during the course of the story. Dakota had a whole swath of cool abilities, like healing, teleportation, and telepathy. A skill he taught to Xhex as their relationship grew. He told her that no matter where he was, if she called out to him- he’d hear her. It’s corny I know, but it just seemed so… sweet and poetic for them?

They met, eventually fell in love and had kids. Twins, (Raine and a boy whose name I can’t remember) and they had another on the way we were going to name Calia (I think). Every time she’d get pregnant, Dakota would be so overjoyed and Xhex would be too. She spent a lot of time working out, staying in shape for her job and it was impossible to keep her sitting still throughout her pregnancies.

Dakota was estranged from his parents because of his fallen status, but I distinctly remember a time where his mother sought Xhex out behind her sons back because she wanted to meet the woman that had claimed her sons heart. And Xhex was SO nervous. She didn’t want Dakota to be mad at her, but she also wanted to learn more about him. There was also the fact that she was terrified that she would be deemed dirty or disgusting because of being a vampire, or that her children would be treated poorly by their grandmother for being born from such a disgusting creature.

But it wasn’t like that at all. It was such a sweet moment, the two women meeting, the twin toddlers playing and meeting their grandmother for the first time. I could talk about their story for ages. I used to write down transcripts of our messages just so I wouldn’t forget them because I loved the world we’d created so much.

But… we kinda fell out of touch. Life got in the way for both of us. But just when we’d finally gotten back into contact, we both admitted we’d missed each other and our characters. I was SO happy to reconnect with my friend who I’d missed so much.

We made plans to start the whole story over again, but… unfortunately luck wasn’t on our side. The game site, which was our only point if communication, has a policy of deleting any account that’s been inactive for 30 days. And they didn’t count logging in to the game or sending messages as activity, only completing quests and pvp counted. So they deleted my account. I’ve tried several times, with different accounts to try and find John again, but… I never have been able to. It’s been years since I last tried, and I’m wondering if I should make a new account and try and track him down one more time.

I don’t think it’ll pay off, but you never know till you try right? I’d give anything to talk with him again, find out how he’s doing and ask if he’s missed our friendship as much as I’ve missed his. I don’t know any other way to find him but I really wish I could even just to check in or maybe even restart our story like we’d planned.

I have whole role-play character charts set up for Xhex and their daughter Raine, because even after all these years I still care about them so much. I thought about drawing them and posting them here, but we’ll see what happens.

Anyways, that’s my rant for tonight. If you read to the end, thanks. If not, I understand.

[pparkerpoetry]

Face Reality (Chapter 2)

Title: Maybe [redacted] Doesn’t Want to be Found (then why does he want it all back?)

Summary: Techno thinks he's been betrayed again, and hides his feelings. Tommy thinks that in his haste to save one friend, he lost another, and hides his big secret. Niki thinks he's gone and hides her grief. Tubbo thinks he'll return, and hides his need for comfort. Fundy thinks he's better off gone, and hides his rage.

Some of them are wrong, some get discovered, but the more time passes, the Dream SMP starts to think that Tommy may be right. They all accept it. Tommy doesn't.

Part 1 Part 3 Masterlist

[redacted] just earned the achievement: The End?

The message went forgotten in the night, fading away into the chat, only to be covered by the conversations of the morning. In the Arctic, though the two slept and dreamt of the land that their lost third had gone, they thought nothing of it. To them, it was just a dream. There was nothing to say about it, because to them, dreams were natural.

It never occurred to them that the dream was more an unconscious cry for help, and it never made them wonder who sent it. Maybe it never would.

The sun rose, shining onto the snow in hues of rose pink and orange as the animals began to wake, and in the cottage that had been so cheerful the day before, one inhabitant got up before the other.

The man that was awake was clothed in green, and he moved slowly as he waited for the exhaustion to leave his body. Perhaps he made a cup of tea, or maybe he sat down to read. Either way, it took him a while to make it out of the house.

When he did leave to brave the snow, it wasn’t with the intention to check on the teenage hybrid, but to make sure that the honey farm was working. 

It was only the distressed call of the enderman that Ranboo had caught that made him look over to the small shack.

Nothing looked out of place, but with a frown, he wandered over. After Edward had died, he missed the enderman’s presence. 

He didn’t even notice that the lump in the bed wasn’t a child. He didn’t notice the lack of hay in the corner. He didn’t notice that the pets were gone. He didn’t notice that there was no set of returning footprints. 

Philza made his rounds through all of the farms and returned to the cottage, letting out a huff of relief at the heat. He raised his head as he took off his cloak, meeting the gaze of his son who must have gotten up at some point while he was out. 

“Cold?” Techno asked, smiling.

“You bet, it’s colder than that one journey we did for the empire. You know, the one where we had to camp in the snow for a week?”

Techno nodded, and they were quiet as they mused on past memories. They couldn’t decide if those were better times, or if perhaps they had just changed.

The day continued, slow and relaxed, and was spent mainly conversing with villagers. They didn’t leave the building, but at some point in the late afternoon, Philza turned to Technoblade with a puzzled look on his face.

“Hey, I haven’t heard from Ranboo today. I usually at least see him wandering in the yard.”

Techno shrugged, and was about to respond, when there was a large clatter from above. They raced up the ladders, only to catch a young blond in the act of thievery. 

“Tommy?” Phil asked, and the teen in response flinched away, pressed against a wall, hiding his back.

Tommy wasn’t there out of spite, he wasn’t there to be mean. He was there in a desperate hope to survive, and if a little relocating of supplies ensured that his best friend didn’t lose his last life, then what was it in the grand scheme of things?

The next few days went by quietly in the snow, they didn’t go anywhere and no one came to visit them. They knew of a large fight that had happened, but they didn’t want any part of it, not even if Tommy was part of it.

They’d bide their time.

It was only after those few days that Philza wondered where Ranboo had gone. He wasn’t concerned, but he wondered if Ranboo had left for good. When he brought it up to Techno, he wasn’t sure if he liked the red glint in his eyes or not. 

That same afternoon, after the imprisonment of Dream, Techno looked into Ranboo’s shack for the first time. He crouched on the grass, and after a few minutes, he growled. He stood up as he unsheathed his axe, and met Philza’s eyes.

“He definitely left in a hurry. I expect we’ll find him with the old L’manberg crew, like everyone who we house here.”

It took some convincing for one of the two, but soon Technoblade was en route to the crater. No one knew it but him as a black shape soared in the air above him like a guardian angel.

If there was one thing that Techno didn’t like, it was traitors.

________________

They reached the more populated land and were almost immediately met with Tommy, clad in a bulky sweatshirt despite the sweltering heat.

“What do you want, Technoblade?” The teen asked. “Tubbo almost died, so I suggest that you leave and let me process what happened.”

Techno couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness at how broken the boy looked. He moved past it. “That’s alright, but unless you want to almost die, point me in the direction of a certain enderman hybrid.”

He looked threatening, with his axe slung over his shoulder and relaxed posture, as if murdering was a casual way to spend an afternoon. 

For him, it probably was. 

Tommy raised an eyebrow as he shifted uncomfortably in his layers. “Ranboo? Haven’t seen him in ages. Punz said he couldn’t find him, so we thought he was with you. Figured he was on your side, hated us or whatever. Is he not?” Tommy would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared for his friend, with Techno after him, but if the pink-haired man had made up his mind, there was nothing he could do. 

“Cut the bull, Tommy.” Phil said, stepping out from behind his son. “He hasn’t been at our place in days. We know you’re hiding him, we’ll find him eventually, there’s no use in stalling.”

Tommy’s confident grin slipped a little. “What d’you mean he hasn’t been there? I thought he had a house there? Why would he leave?”

Techno sighed. “If you’re not going to tell me, then I’ll just look myself. Bye, Theseus.”

The younger boy flinched at the nickname, and as he watched the pair leave, he couldn’t help but wish for simpler days when he could have gone to either for love. Instead, he went back to where Tubbo sat.

His mind wouldn’t let him rest, though.

“Hey Tubbo?” 

The boy who was sitting down, making a flower crown, hummed in response.

“Are you sure we haven’t seen Ranboo?”

Tubbo shrugged. “I’m sure he’ll turn up somewhere.”

Tommy waited another day before leaving to go somewhere. Or, rather, find someone. 

His destination wasn’t far away, but he took it slow for a multitude of reasons. First, his muscles still ached from his big fight, and two, he wasn’t all that sure that he was welcome in the place that he was traveling to. His mind was crowded, but something in him urged him to keep going. Something was wrong.

When he got to where he was going, he was greeted with tense silence. He broke it first.

“Hey, Niki.” She didn’t respond, but she turned to look down at him from her spot on the cobble tower she was making. “Listen, I know… I know we aren’t on the best of terms, but please tell me you’ve seen Ranboo.” He hated how his voice broke, like he was some child seconds away from tears. “You don’t even have to tell me where he is, if he wants to stay away, but please tell me he’s okay. I haven’t seen him in ages, and Techno’s hunting him. I need to make sure he’s not dead.”

That got Niki’s attention. She made her way down from where she had been and approached Tommy, who averted his eyes from the familiar coat that hung on her shoulders. 

“Ranboo’s missing?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me grab a few things. We need to find him.”

“So he’s not with you?” Tommy asked, looking up as Niki started walking away.

She turned to look at him, with a scared, sad look in her eyes. “No. I haven’t seen him since the… since everything went to shit.”

_______________________

It was a few days later. Niki and Tommy had gathered a group of people, but all of their searches came up with nothing. They were losing hope. 

Tommy had one last option, but he wasn’t sure if he liked it. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. He wasn’t sure if it would even work, but it was for Ranboo, so he’d do it. No one deserved to be out in the wilderness alone.

He took a few people with him, and they trekked for miles before it started snowing. It got colder, it got more harsh, and right before the others were ready to give up, a light shone in the distance. Almost as soon as it came into view the wind slowed a bit, making it easier to walk. 

The wood cabin wasn’t welcoming, but this was for Ranboo. Was he alone in the snow? Was it hurting him?

Tommy looked down and knocked on the door, picking at the sleeves of his sweatshirt, but he was sure the people in it knew he was there. 

He was right, and they were armed.

The boy raised his hands in surrender, and lifted his gaze to meet his… his father’s. He didn’t like the tears welling in his eyes and how genuine they were, but it got Phil to lower his sword. It gave him a chance.

“Phil, Ranboo, uh...” He stopped, cleared his throat and tried not to think of his friend lost in the wilderness. He wouldn’t cry. Not here. Not like this. Not with what was at stake.

“What is it, Tommy?” Phil asked, suddenly reminded of all the times Tommy had wandered to his bedside because of nightmares, and he wasn’t sure if he liked the similarities to now.

“It’s Ranboo- he- he’s-” water kept piling up, and he sniffed in an attempt to keep it at bay.

“Spit it out, Tommy.” Techno barked, but his axe was leaned against the wall. The child wasn’t a threat.

“Ranboo’s missing.”

__________________

The cabin was lit, a sharp contrast to the darkness outside of it. A group of five huddled inside of it, talking in hushed tones. There was a father, a failed one, there was a son, the loved one, there was a girl so forgotten by the world that she vowed to make it remember her, there was a boy that once was a son but now only held secrets, and there was another boy who had only ever been second best. 

They talked of the boy, unloved by all except for catastrophe, who searched for love in the void of pain and only ended up worse off than he was before.

“Where’s Fundy?” Phil asked, noticing the lack of reminder of the other son he had failed.

Niki winced. “He didn’t want to come. And, uh, Tommy figured it would be best to not bring many people. Appear as unthreatening as possible.”

Techno glanced around the room. Tommy and Tubbo huddled together as if scared that the other would disappear at a moment’s notice or would drift away in the breeze, and Niki looked so small in the brown trench coat that looked so familiar… He shook that thought away. “I mean, you did succeed. But how do we know this isn’t all an act? How do we know that you aren’t just tricking us? What can you show so that we know you’re sincere?”

Phil almost stopped Techno, but something in him made him stop. 

Tommy sighed. He had really hoped this wouldn’t happen. He had really hoped it wouldn’t come to this. He had really hoped to just keep one more secret, but it looked like it wasn’t going to happen. He stood up, and he could feel Tubbo start to keep leaning over as he moved.

He took his sweatshirt over his head, and suddenly, it was dead quiet. 

If they'd had better hearing, they would only have heard hearts beating, tense breathing, and one lone, grey feather hitting the floor.

Philza took in a sharp breath. “Tommy?” The boy didn’t meet his eyes. Softer this time, “Tommy, when did this happen?”

The boy’s large wings moved to embrace himself as he avoided eye contact. “During exile.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” 

Tommy shrugged passively. “I didn’t think you’d care.”

“How’d you hide that from me?” Techno asked, doing his hardest to ignore the cacophony of his voices and the hurting in his chest at the thought of Tommy, cowering under his base, scared for his life, the pain of growing the wings still present, having gone through it all alone. The thought of Little Tommy, starving and hurt, huddling on the cold stone of his basement, all alone, with no one there for him. The thought of his brother-

Tommy’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Guess you just never noticed.”

Something was wrong. That wasn’t right. “I would’ve noticed when I found you like a little raccoon. Now, we’ll ask you this again. When did this happen?” Techno asked.

The response was so quiet he almost didn’t hear it. He almost wished he didn’t. “While I was here.”

And suddenly, it was so much worse.

His little brother grew wings, right under his nose. His little brother bled through the pain, and cried, and lost any last grasp to his childhood, and all when he didn’t notice. His little brother was so scared of him that he didn’t even ask for help, he just went through it alone, because going through the trauma and hurt by himself was better than it would be with him. When had he become such a bad older brother?

“Oh, Tommy.”

_______________

They met at the Fortress, although they hadn’t a clue what it was. It was almost funny, the irony of it all. Almost the whole server met at the Fortress with hesitant treaties to organize search parties for Ranboo, and the answer to it all was being used as their table. 

The deity watching them had to give them credit, they had a good plan. They would have succeeded in their mission if Ranboo had been where they searched, so it was a shame that he wasn’t. It was a shame that he had gone to drastic measures to make sure they’d never find him.

He had to give them credit, they searched for much longer than he thought they would have. But, like many things, it didn’t last. People lost hope, they gave up.

The people of the Badlands and the old members of the Dream Team were the first to give up. They didn’t have a connection that fueled them, so their fire fizzled out.

Fundy and some of the lesser members were next. He didn’t want to be there in the first place.

Everyone fell off, they stopped their searches, until it was just Niki, Tubbo, Techno, and Tommy. But, like many good things, it didn’t last.

_________________

Niki stood up with a sigh, going to leave the room that they had gathered in. 

“Where are you going?” Tommy asked.

She hesitated to answer. “I don’t know, Tommy. I just think that we would’ve found him by now. I want him home as much as you do, but maybe… Tommy, maybe he just doesn’t want to be found.”

So, she left.

Tubbo was slow, but he followed too.

“Tubbo?”

“I’ll be back home. I’ve got to start dinner.” The boy said, not meeting Tommy’s eyes. 

It was quiet for a moment. “Techno, are you going to leave, too? Are you going to just give up like them?”

Technoblade didn’t answer right away, but he got Tommy standing. He slung an arm over the young boy’s shoulders and started walking with him. “C’mon, Theseus. We’ve got things we need to do.”

One by one, they all gave up. All except Tommy. Tommy knew there was something missing from the puzzle, and he had a feeling that Ranboo did want to be found. He wasn’t going to give up. He couldn’t. Not when Ranboo was all alone in the wilderness. 

_______________

Time passed by, slowly, then it gathered speed. A week, followed by a month, followed by another, followed by a year. Ties began to heal, brought together by the loss of one of their own. 

Dream stayed in the prison. He would rot there, eventually, but not before he served his purpose. That’s not this story, though. This isn’t the story of Dream, it’s the story of a boy and his nightmares.

There were no enemies, no wars. At the very least, they tolerated each other. At the most, they became a family again. 

Tommy and Tubbo didn’t like being apart from each other for more than a few hours. Niki visited them sometimes, and he brought bread occasionally. Fundy would join her, maybe, or maybe all four would travel to a cottage in the snow for a few days.

Time passed, painfully for some. 

Tommy learned how to use his wings, how to fly. He learned why he felt so protective over his family, in his yearning for a flock to call his own. Tubbo trained with Techno, partially to work on forgiving, partially to be able to protect his family. Niki still wore the coat, even when it was old and torn and fraying. Fundy visited his father’s grave. He cried there, but in the end he felt better.

Time passed, but the memories of the forgotten one didn’t leave Tommy’s mind. He didn’t want to leave him alone.

It was towards the end of a visit, just Tommy and Tubbo at the cottage with Phil and Techno. It was a soft dusk, and quiet, too. Two sets of dark, feathered wings draped over the large couch, covering the four people as they lounged together, basking in the warmth that they preserved.

Tommy was tired, his eyelids drooping, a content trill in the back of his throat not quite making it out. As he drifted off, he heard the harsh chirp of an enderman, and his eyes opened a little, sleepily,  to look out of the window.

“Tommy?” Phil shifted from where he had been watching over the three others, waiting for an answer that didn’t come.

Tommy was staring directly at the enderman outside, in the boat, who was looking him right back in the eyes.

“Tommy?” Phil asked again, still not breaking his focus.

“Phil….” there was a soft hum. “Phil, how old is that enderman?”

Phil thought for a moment, before he sighed. “That’s uh, that’s actually one that Ranboo caught before he left. He might have accidentally made it mad, but he never liked killing them, so he caught it. Why?”

Tommy untangled himself from the pile of limbs and took a deep breath. “Was it there the night that he left?”

“Yea- Yeah, why?”

“Phil, that enderman might know where he went. We just need to talk to it.”

[audrinahq]

AUDRINA CHOI from GLENDALE UNIVERSITY! the TWENTY FOUR year old JENNIE KIM lookalike is most known for being SELF ASSURED and GENEROUS. but they can also be ARROGANT and CALLOUS. the GENDERQUEER always reminds me of JUMPING FENCES TO GET AWAY, VODKA IN A WATERBOTTLE, AN OLD LEATHER JACKET TAKEN FROM YOUR MOM'S CLOSET. that’s probably why they currently have CANDY BY MGK on repeat. with THEM around, this school year is bound to be interesting.

♡     ───   basics

full name: audrina choi nicknake(s): audrey, rina age: twenty four birthday: january ninth sexual orientation: [redacted] relationship status: unknown, assumed single occupation: heiress, student, model

♡     ───   background

place of birth: seoul, south korea hometown: upper east side, manhattan, new york education: graduated from constance billard school for girls, currently attending glendale university

♡     ───   physical

faceclaim: jennie kim eye color: dark brown hair color: black height: 5′1 

♡     ───   relatives

biological parents: choi myung-dae (father) & choi chi-yon (mother) adoptive guardians: viktor trimme & anika kuhn siblings: none, only child pets: casper, an orange cat & bandit, a german shepherd

♡     ───   biography / personality

when it comes to audrina’s adoption and their parents, there is no scandal- much to the disapintment of new york city. instead of being raised in south korea, audrina’s birth parents made the decision to give them up for adoption. it was an open adoption and audrina grew up with their birth parents as close family friends and their guardians, viktor and anika. viktor and anika were unable to have biological children of their own and after adopting audrina, they started a foundation meant to help in the adoption process for parents struggling. 

it’s not as if audrina is hiding their sexuality. yhey just love having that part of their life hidden from the media and prying eyes. very careful not to be spotted, audrina has become the master at hiding their personal life from not only page 6 but gossip girl as well. it’s become a big speculation if they’re dating anyone at all and who is might be. anyone spotted with them is subject to the “are they dating” questions before it’s clear that whomever it is, is not audrina’s partner. 

audrina is the person you want with you when things get complicated. they have a knack for either talking their way out of anything and when words don’t work, money sure does. most of the time the reason someone is in trouble is audrina’s fault but they don’t leave a friend behind. they do, however, leave pawns behind. “pawns are meant to be sacrificed for the queen to win.” high school it was clear they thought themself the queen bee of constance billard. it seems in college that mentality hasn’t died away but no longer are they making it known they want to be on top. not as obvious, at least.

audrina is a very “love them and leave them” type of person. commitment is a nasty word when it comes to relationships. rumor has it their best friend has a reward for the first person to get them to say ‘i love you’. 

♡     ───   in character questionnaire 

Parents names and occupations? Are they still together? Still alive?

“which set of parents are you talking about? myung-dae and chi-yon are owners of a ramyeon shop in korea. viktor is a criminal defense attorney and anika is a plastic surgeon. they’re all still alive.”

Where did you grow up?

“in the upper east side. manhattan. fifth avenue, to be specific.” 

Relationship Status?

“wouldn’t you like to know? next question.”

What is your major?

“education. and no, i don’t want to be a teacher but i need a background in education so i can sit on school boards and reform the education system.”

Sexuality? 

“you won’t get that answer from me. stop trying.”

Do you have a job?

“what? being a student isn’t good enough? i do some modelling as a hobby. i don’t need to work.”

Do you dorm at school? Have an apartment?

“i live in the same apartment i always have. i lived in the dorms for freshman year- it was required, and then moved out the second i could. community living isn’t for me.”

Hobbies?

“aside from modeling, i like reading. i’m into fashion- what upper east side kid isnt? oh- dancing and art too. recently took up taekwondo.”

If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

“tiny but mighty? no. uh- probably something to do with how i would kick your ass. i don’t know, i’m not that clever.”

What have you been up to over the summer?

“you know that better than i do. seem like a gossip girl reader. ask her, sure she knows.”

Last image taken on your cell phone?

Last text you received?

“next question.”

Where were you the night the fight broke out?

“korea, i was working.”

♡     ───   character inspirations 

blair waldorf

jenny humphrey

narcissa malfoy

harley quinn

ingui "queen" yoon

klaus mikaelson

caroline forbes

rebekah mikaelson

♡     ───   wanted connections

sex money feelings dies ( open ) - think of exes but make it a one night stand but on top of that a frequent hook up. every time you say that won’t hook up with each other again. it’s not healthy, you both want past the relationship and let it go, but the moment y’all see each other from across the bar or at a party you just know you’ll end up in each other’s bed again

i saw you in a dream ( nadine alston ) - you guys were close. so close. thought there would never be a time you guys wouldn’t talk, but one thing lead to another and you’re left thinking about them when it’s just you and your thoughts. without them your life really hasn’t been the same, but is it worth getting past what happened to pick up the phone and call them?

painkiller ( juliana “jules” santos ) - best friends forever. literally. this person knows you inside out and you can’t see a day without them. they’re essentially your painkiller. you tell them everything and them back to you. they can tell if you’re feeling down just by the way you send your snapchat streaks that morning. you can’t see a day without them.

call your girlfriend ( open ) - this one is pretty messy. your muse is in a relationship, but there’s a huge flirtationship between these two. the flirtationship essentially becomes to both of these people attached to each other and maybe... even in love. but there’s still that relationship that’s in the way... YIKES

perfect places ( noah evans ) - party buddies but make it you guys just getting lost in the vibes because you don’t want to deal with life. it’s a good friendship. you guys get the thoughts in your head to go numb, but at a point it’s like what’s the point ?

femme fatale ( jared callahan ) - one muse is a huge fool for the other. they’re head over heels for them but they’re just playing around with the other’s feelings because hey ! it’s fun ! all of their friends tell them to ‘ just leave it you’re gonna get hurt ’, but they just continue to be boo boo the fool 

ex affair ( open ) - basically your muse was the cheater and audrina the other woman but it ended for whatever reason.

family friends ( luca cartwright ) - friends who met through family, could either be close or it be an awkward situation because they don't really get along or know each other well.

squad goals ( tatiana “tati” reyes , juliana “jules” santos , open ) - just a close knit group of friends. the group chat is always going off with someone’s dramatics, one or more of the squad constantly featured together in social media and the press. one or more or all of them constantly sleeping over at audrina’s place. doesn’t matter the university, these friends have been ride or die since childhood at least.

♡     ───   wanted connections

these can be used in any direction the “you” does not mean your muse from the point of view from audrina, it can go either direction. i just like the #aesthetic of writing it this way. 

001. open. you pulled away from me, so i pulled away from you. i pulled away when you hurt me. you pulled away when the world hurt you. and now we are both pulled away during a time when we are supposed to be pulled together. at some point i needed to put it all behind me. forget about you. forget about the way you made me wonder. and what we could have been. because it never happened, and it always got later, morning always turned into nights and the day was eventually over and nothing had changed. but it doesn’t mean that i don’t feel a damn thing, i do still feel a hole in my heart when they talk about you, i do still want to scream when i hear you have another life with someone else, i do still want to feel your kiss on my skin. and i do still love you.

002. open. we have no idea what personal boundaries are and yeah we’ve made out before a lot and yeah it was ok but we’re friends ok friends and why are you staring at me like that? why are you holding my hand always? why are you telling me how much you adore me? oh we’re not dating? oh you’ve been in love with me for years and i’m a doorknob and now things are awkward and i don’t know what to do to fix it.

003. open. i confessed i might be in love with and you said you weren’t interested in dating me because we’re just friends and i’m getting over that heartbreak but you show up on my doorstep and kiss me and we end up in bed and in the morning you tell me this was a mistake and before i can stop you, you leave. you show up again. lather rinse repeat. it’s not good for either of us but we keep doing it.

004. open. we tried the whole dating thing and it didn’t work out and we’ve moved beyond that. you’re my go-to friend on anything and everything and any problem you got i will fucking mow down hell to fix. wow your smile just lights up my world and please don’t be sad. who made you sad i will throw them in hell and mow them down and – oh wow. i never got over you. you’re my fucking world and i just want you to be happy but you can only see me as a friend because when you look at me you see our failed relationship but i’m not the same person i swear.

005. open. we’ve been best friends since we were kids, grew up next to each other and even though we aren’t from the same family we get confused for siblings a lot when we were younger. we’re older now and people keep thinking we’re dating but it’s not like that, we’re just extremely close. oh hey, you’re at my house more often than your own cause i don’t like to be alone at night and the neighbors think we’re together or having an affair and it’s funny to laugh about at dinners and we always get each other valentine’s presents since we were kids and you’re the first person i call when anything happens in my life. what? no, i’m not in love with them, they’re just my best friend.

006. open. “hey, open your front door. i’m here with chips, pizza, ice cream, and your favorite pastries. yes, i know it’s like 3am but i’m your best friend and i know you’re sad right now and i am here to comfort you.”

007. open. you’re not my ex anything. you were a passing moment, an almost a maybe one day we’ll be something but one day never came, you passed by and ‘almost’ didn’t happen. and yet it feels like something did because i know your favorite songs, what you think about late at night and how beautiful you thought i was. and i know you knew even more about me. our story was like an acute angle, a meeting point and then off in different directions. so close and then farther and farther away. we were an almost, maybe, someday.

008. open. tell me where we went wrong because it’s still not clear to me. there are still questions left unanswered and they’re killing me. tell me why we end up here, i thought we’d last a little bit longer. tell me what happened, why all of a sudden you decided to live without me. you just left. tell me how far should i walk away from you because i can’t turn away on my own. i’ve tried my best to let go but my life keeps coming back to you. i’ve tried to walk alone but i keep on looking back, hoping that every time that i turn, you’re there walking with me. tell me when to stop loving you because i don’t know how to stop this feeling.

009. open. if you’re alone, i’ll be your shadow. if you want to cry, i’ll be your shoulder. if you want a hug, i’ll be your pillow. if you need to be happy, i’ll be your smile… but anytime you need a friend, i’ll just be me.

010. open. things were great for a while before suddenly they weren’t. commitment doesn’t look good on you or me and now everything ends in a fight. you pushed me away so i pushed you away harder, the distance became catastrophic and the relationship imploded. hearts were shattered in the process and now you just bring back too many memories of what it felt like to be happy and to be in love so i just ignore you cause it feels easier than facing the truth that i miss you.

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Resource Management, pt11

Word Count: 2467 Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @anotherotter @little-study-bug @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter  @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock @dolamrothianlady @curiositywillbethedeathofme @superheroesofbothuniverses @mtriestowrite @wanderingkat77

Saturdays were meant for sleeping in. For recovering from a hangover. For pancakes or bacon and eggs. Saturdays were never intended for a six a.m. run. Regardless, I dragged myself out of bed to my alarm and pulled on my running clothes. Phil rolled over and stretched.

“Where are you going?” He asked through a yawn.

“For a run.” I sat on the edge of the bed and laced my shoes up. He popped up beside me and kissed the nape of my neck.

“Wait five minutes, I’ll come with you,” he offered.

“Can’t. Meeting someone.” I leaned over and kissed him. “I’ll be an hour. Don’t go.”

Phil pulled me back into bed on top of him, and then rolled over and pinned me. He kissed the spot below my ear that he’d discovered made me pretty much do whatever was demanded of me.

“Stay,” he murmured. I groaned and pushed him away.

“I told you last night about the crazy. Lex is the only person I’ve been allowed to choose, Phil. I don’t want to mess it up by ditching her for our first run.” I sat up and finished tying my shoes. I slipped my apartment key into my pocket and headed out to meet the good doctor in the park.

It was a beautiful morning. On any other day, I would have been thrilled to be up in it. But it was Saturday. I sat down on the bench where I’d agreed to meet Lex, and was so happy that I’d told Phil he couldn’t come when she approached. Captain Rogers was with her.

“Good morning, Anna. You look doubtful,” she smiled.

“I forgot that today was Saturday when I agreed to meet you,” I laughed. “Rookie mistake.”

“This is Steve. Steve, this is Anna. She’s in HR.” Lex squinted in thought. “That’s right, isn’t it?”

I nodded as Steve shook my hand. He was super fine. Everything was big and muscle-y and strong. I felt a little tongue-tied.

“A pleasure, Anna. I’ve heard of you. Director Fury was very impressed with the information you had on the attack.”

“Oh, uh. Yeah. Thanks,” I stumbled.

“Okay, Steve, you promised you would go on your own run. She doesn’t need Captain fucking America looming over her shoulder while she’s running intervals.” Lex smacked his butt and sent him off. I couldn’t help but giggle. I liked her. She was irreverent.

“That would have been super uncomfortable. Thanks. It’s bad enough I have been assigned Barton and Romanoff for part of my training,” I thanked her.

“Training?” Lex looked up from tying her shoe.

“Because of the nature of the attack, as director of HR, Fury has decided that I need to have full operations agent competencies,” I explained.

“Say nothing else. I totally understand. But Tasha and Clint are cool. They’re very competitive with one another and like to play tricks. It can be very fun to be in on the game. And Tasha whipped me into shape really quickly with my hand-to-hand. She’s incredible. I sucked. Now I can take Steve down, if I take him by surprise,” she reassured me. “Well, sort of. There’s more than Romanoff’s training at play these days.”

She looked a little haunted, but I didn’t think we knew each other well enough for me to press. She ran me through some pre-run stretching, and explained the mechanics of the stretches, and which muscle groups would be helped by what exercises. Then promptly told me that she would go over it again when we finished running. She started us at a pace that was slower than I usually ran. When I commented, she explained that running slower, as long as it was comfortable, would help my endurance more than running faster would. About midway through the run, she told me I needed to keep up. Until then, I had been keeping up, so I was confused, until she sprinted away from me. I ran as fast as I could to catch up. A few seconds after, she slowed down, barely winded. I was gasping for air. We returned to the slow pace again, and again, she warned me to keep up and then sprinted away from me. She did that to me around ten times, and then slowed us down to a brisk walk for the last five minutes.

“What was with the sprinting?” I asked when I caught my breath.

“High intensity intervals help improve your cardio endurance, and strengthens you faster,” she explained. “If you need to be field capable, we need to whip you into shape quick. What’s your sport?”

“I’ve studied a number of martial arts disciplines,” I answered, still feeling my heart pound in my chest.

“Cool. Mine has always been running. And Archery. And I played a little hockey when I was a kid, but who doesn’t?” I knew it was a rhetorical question, but I smiled nonetheless.

“Hockey was never my sport. I mean, shinny, sure. Street hockey every summer until the sun went down. But I lived in hockeyville, and just got oversaturated, I guess.”

Lex shot me a look of confusion and then shrugged it off as we approached the bench we’d started from. She ran me through the stretches again, and when we were done, I sat down on the bench, exhausted.

“So how about we meet Monday, Wednesday and Fridays at this time. We’ll alternate weekend days from week to week, but we’ll do an evening run on those days. That leaves you Tuesday and Thursdays for something else. Weights maybe.” Lex flopped down next to me. She had a strange scar on her inner arm that I hadn’t noticed before.

“That looks like it was painful,” I commented.

“It sucked, not gonna lie,” she agreed. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” I shrugged.

“You’re obviously from home. Where?” She asked.

“BC. You?”

“Calgary,” she replied. “There’s Steve.”

I looked up, and Steve was headed toward us. He looked like he was forcing himself to run at a normal pace. Which he probably was. He probably could run as fast as a car if the opportunity presented itself.

“You gals done?” He asked. I nodded. My shirt had a boob-sweat stain on it. He smiled like he hadn’t noticed. He might not have. Lex was pretty stunning, and she wasn’t a sweaty disgusting mess like I was.

“Got another five in you, babe?” Lex asked him. “See you Monday, Anna?”

“You bet. Thanks, Lex.” I headed back toward my apartment, turning once to watch Lex and Steve disappearing down the same path I’d just run, but at a much swifter pace.

My apartment smelled like bacon when I got back. I peered into the kitchen and saw Phil dropping slices onto a piece of paper towel. I groaned. I was not going to be virtuous and eat something healthy, I was totally going to eat the bacon. And after that super hard run, I almost wanted to be virtuous.

“Stop glaring at me. It’s the weekend. You’re allowed bacon on the weekend.” Phil didn’t even look up from the pan.

“I’m going to take a shower,” I grumbled, my mouth watering. I leaned into the kitchen and stole a piece of bacon from the paper towel before heading to the bathroom.

“How do you like your eggs?” He called.

“Over-easy. Unfertilized,” I replied, and shut the bathroom door. I could hear him laughing as I turned the water on.

“So, how was the run?” Phil handed me a plate as I sat down at the table.

“I met your boyfriend,” I teased. “So good thing I didn’t let you tag along.”

“Captain Rogers is your running buddy?” Phil looked confused.

“No. His girlfriend is.” I dipped my toast in my egg yolk. They were perfectly cooked. Phil ate without saying anything. He slipped his hand onto mine on the table as we sat, finishing our coffee. A sharp knock on my door startled us both. He tilted his head in question.

“Expecting anyone?” He asked. I shook my head. His hand slid to his hip. I hadn’t realized he was wearing his sidearm. I gave him a dirty look.

“Because you needed to wear that in my kitchen?” I asked.

“You won’t be criticizing me if the person at the door is unfriendly,” he shot back in a low tone. I rolled my eyes and went to the door, opening it as far as the security chain would allow. There was a guy standing there, with his back to me, in a SHIELD uniform. I cleared my throat and he spun around. My shoulders dropped once I recognized him.

“Anna Ellis?” He asked. I nodded. “Clint Barton. I’m your new range coach. Fury said I should stop by this morning and get you out on the range on account of you sucking.”

“Agent Barton. Nice to meet you,” I said, loudly enough that I knew Phil would hear. From the corner of my eye, I could see Phil dashing toward my bedroom, carrying his dirty plate and coffee cup. I closed the door and unlatched the chain slowly, waiting to hear the click of my bedroom door closing before I opened the front door again. I gestured to Barton to come inside, and he stepped through the door cautiously, his eyes seeking out all the possible exit points, and hiding spots for bad guys. I held my breath when his eyes lit on my bedroom door, but he just stepped past me into the kitchen.

“Can I get you a coffee?” I offered.

“Sure. We should probably have a conversation before we leave for the range.” He sat down in Phil’s chair. I poured a coffee and handed it to him, pointing at the cream and sugar on the table as I cleared my breakfast dishes away.

“Do you mind if I wash up while we chat?” I asked. He shook his head.

“What’s your experience?” He asked.

“My week at the academy two weeks ago,” I responded, scrubbing up the frying pan.

“And before that?”

“No weapons experience at all,” I replied.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He exclaimed. “So you’re completely green?”

“I’ve had a really good instructor,” I shot back, defending Phil.

“And who was that? I tried to pull your training docs but there’s a bunch of info redacted or missing.” He asked.

“Melinda May, mostly,” I lied.

“Anyone else? She was listed in there, but there was some redacted information too.”

“Nope. Just May,” I affirmed, feeling nervous. I finished washing up.

“Where’s your sidearm. Let’s get it and go over it.” He stood.

“I’ll grab it. It’s in my bedroom.” I held a hand up.

“I’m here to train you, Ellis, not seduce you.” He cocked an eyebrow at me. “I can come to your bedroom without it being a problem.”

“Regardless, Agent Barton, my mother raised me to not entertain men in my bedroom, so if it’s all the same to you, wait here please,” I shot back. “For the record, you’re not my type.”

“Yeah, I heard you like older guys.” He was snarky. As a general rule, I liked snarky. I wasn’t sure about this snarky though. “Stark seems to think –“

“Stark?” I laughed. “Also not my type.”

I headed toward my bedroom quickly.

“Yeah, I was going to say. Stark seems to think you’ve got it bad for Thor,” he laughed. I stopped partway down the hall and turned around.

“That is a silly workplace crush. And means nothing.” I could feel my cheeks flushing. Barton smirked, revealing a deep dimple. Damn. Were all the Avengers pretty? I turned away and stomped into my bedroom. Phil was smirking from the bed and shaking his head. My gun case was sitting beside him. He stole a quick kiss as I leaned over to grab the case.

“He’s not wrong. You do like older men,” he whispered. I rolled my eyes.

“I like you, Phil. That doesn’t mean I’d like another guy your age just because he was your age,” I whispered back. “Will you be back tonight?”

“Should be. Text me when you’re free.” He pulled me close for a quick kiss. I picked up the gun case and headed back to the kitchen.

“So show me what you know about this sidearm, Ellis,” Barton demanded. I opened the case, and pulled it out, and went through all the parts, how to load it, how to unload it, the safety, the sights. I pointed to the holster.

“And that’s my shoulder holster. I’ve been informed by Agent May that it’s not available in pink,” I finished. Barton looked me in the eye, then smirked again.

“It’s a start. Put it on, grab your ammo. Let’s go.” He rose and put his coffee cup in the sink while I slid the shoulder holster on. I pulled on a light jacket and grabbed my purse before following him out the door.

“I’ll be right back. I forgot my phone.” I turned around and dashed down to my bedroom to grab my phone. I pulled my spare key off the key ring and handed it to Phil, kissing him goodbye one more time. Barton was waiting in the hall for me as I locked up.

“You know, you could have just said your boyfriend was over,” he commented. My heart nearly stopped.

“What are you talking about?” I followed him down the stairs.

“You wouldn’t let me into your bedroom out of some misguided notion of propriety, you conveniently forgot your phone, and you just came out with half a keychain less than you went back inside with,” he said. “Not to mention the chair I sat in was warm, but your dishes were in front of your chair, your mouth is bruised like you’ve been getting rowdy, and his shoes were at the front door. It’s okay to have a social life. I just don’t get why you would need to hide it.”

“Office romance. Against protocol.” My response was probably too quick.

“No, relationships between you and your S.O. are against protocols. You can bounce anyone you want who has a badge as long as they aren’t your supervising officer. And despite your thing for old guys, I doubt Fury is hiding in your bedroom,” he corrected.

“What?”

“Well, Fury is your S.O., isn’t he?” He asked.

“Yes.” I felt a shudder of revulsion as I realized what he was getting at.

“My point is, I don’t care who you’re fucking, Ellis. As long as it doesn’t compromise your ability to be available for training.” Barton’s tone was final. I didn’t respond, but just got into the SHIELD vehicle and put my seatbelt on.

[pleasereadfully-blog]

WARNING: LAWRENCE M. REINHARDT/USER “OSPRIET”

   further proof the person and accounts referenced are him:

(since writing this, lawrence has since deleted his blog. either he then recreated it with the same url or someone else got to it in the interim, just know that the current holder of the url “ospriet” may not be lawrence himself. there are as many screenshots of the posts referenced as possible.)

to match the pictures above with the ORIGINAL account referenced:

http://ospriet.tumblr.com/tagged/it-me     [click for image]

warning for not safe for work content with multiple topics. adults having sexual contact w/ minors, topics including incest, beastiality, rape, torture porn, abuse and other uncomfortable topics.

what’s of most concern is this man’s tendency to pursue teenage partners despite being well into his 20s and nearing his 30s. this perhaps wouldn’t be so concerning if he didn’t start his pursuits when these vulnerable (mostly trans boys, either pre-transition or as they transition it seems) teenagers who either aren’t 18 yet or are just recently 18. while not illegal, there is something very disturbing about a 28 year old man who repeatedly targets teenagers. he is not engaging in these relationships without knowing the ages or age gaps, he has admitted he knows just how old his partners are when he first starts seeking them out. these are not false allegations. there have been lengthy, emotionally devastating conversations with his past partners. he appears to use to fandom, online communities and groups, friendship, and roleplay to lure (there are other instances of similar posts throughout his blog) these teenagers in and then fosters a friendship with them that then he turns into a (sexual) relationship. there are several other links and screenshots throughout this post where he admits he enjoys age gaps as well.

(for those who do not know what some of these terms mean: roleplay is where two or more person’s write from the view point of certain characters from different mediums. it can vary from safe for work content or sexually explicit content.

“fandom” refers to collective fans of different medium, shows, games, books etc.)

it seems the fandoms in particular are snk, homestuck, the mcelroys brother’s content and dragon age. the first two seem as though he’s not into them anymore, but they’re worth noting. also vulture culture, norse mythology, werewolves and witchcraft but those two aren’t fandom just communities more or less.

he also appears to use okcupid, tinder and other date applications and websites to find people who meet his marks so be aware if you use such things or know people who do.

any adult man who has repeatedly displayed this behavior around teenagers should not be tolerated or excused for these actions. i would have liked to not put words in the reader’s mouth but repeated offenses like this have only one word: predatory. he should not be fostering friendships with teenagers, particularly ones who are minors. he should not be allowing minors to follow his blog. he should not be talking with them in private through skype or text or email or any other venue. he has reblogged provocative illustrated art of minors before which is disturbing given his inclinations. yes to be just, there are only two instances but they are there. there are images below which contain beastiality and as confirmed by others, he is sexually interested in scenarios involving animals beyond fiction and should not be around those either to be frank. even if you would like to wish that purely fictional interests don’t necessarily translate into real life pursuits, he has already demonstrated he’s willing to sexually and coercively pursue minors. the at the time 17 year old he dated still bears deep and lasting psychological scars from their “relationship” with him.

be aware that much of this is just the things we know of now that were made public through his blog.

the following information has been either found on his blog or generously supplied by individuals seeking to do right by the community.

his name is lawrence m. reinhardt [image], his nickname is wren, he’s currently 28 years old [image], lives in milford connecticut [image], works at jones family farm [image] and utilizes this tattoo parlor [image]. previously he was employed at uniqlo. [image]

this is his etsy shop [image] , his facebook account [link] his skype account [image] as well.

this an avatar he frequently uses. formally made by a previous girlfriend. [image]

his home address was left out of this write up as it wouldn’t be fair to involve his family since he still lives at home with them.

do not agree with some of the previous methods used to address these matters nor do i enjoy sharing the information above but i think it is important given his history that people know just who he is and where he can be found.

i sincerely hope that the information below gives anyone pause before they continue interacting with and supporting lawrence. these are not matters that could or should be waved away or excused with “but his current boyfriend is 18/over 18.” this isn’t a one off event or cause of concern and trying to excuse his behavior makes the excuser just as much to blame for his actions.

his lines clearly are crossed between reality and fiction and his fictional pursuits clearly have already endangered vulnerable youth and left unchecked, he stands to harm future youth as well.

please keep in mind there is much that has not been shared at the request of those he’s interacted with in the past. please keep reading for specific documentations of the above matters.

there is a good thing to read on the matter of age gaps themselves located here for those willing.

as well as this post as well as other posts on the blog pertaining to age gaps.

===

he says he’s only interest in a 5 year or so difference but repeatedly targets teenagers out of his age range to pursue.

[click for image]

all of his relationships save for one that’s been found have been 8 or more years with largest gap being 9 years. this is a dangerous pattern.

from the oldest relationship located to the most recent:

in 2013, dated http://barackohana.tumblr.com/unknown age unknown and this is the only mention of them. mentioned only to establish the timeline. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/41822601413/barackohana-im-gonna-meet-my-bf-face-to-face-on      [click for link to image]

==

then dated http://dysfunctionaldraught.tumblr.com for several months. currently 22, so they were 17/18 at the start of their relationship and interactions. [click for image] [click for image]

====

[NAME REDACTED IN THESE POSTS this individual was a minor for this ‘friendship’ into ‘relationship’ and has been contacted about this relationship. talking about lawrence and this ‘relationship’ was very uncomfortable for them and they prefer to keep as much distance as possible and we’ve done our best to honor that request.] keep in mind, ospriet/lawrence was 25 for this relationship, he acknowledges his age here: http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/84571471106/sometimes-i-forget-im-in-my-mid-twenties-l-m-f-a    [click for link to image]

”i was 17 when i met him and he was 25 (i’m 21 now) and [redacted …]” [click for link if image won’t show]

was 17 when they started talking. (old links & their old account berik http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/93897778121/beriks-im-twelve-look-at-this-little-shit      [click for link to image]

being 17 at the start, they were in highschool. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/88865162886/beriks-time-to-graduate-nerds-congratulations         [click for link to image] ospriet.tumblr.com/post/85847849581/       [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/85180268721/92936-pm-chief-i-a-cute-southern       [click for link to image]

sexual content: http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/91473197761/stayed-up-waaay-too-late-foolin-around-with-the http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/87159731326/this-just-in-my-boyfriend-has-the-cutest-undies       [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/88177729331/more-i-think-thats-partly-why-i-freakin           [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/86710997056/you-know-what-sucks-more-going-almost-an           [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/87947493101/more-you-know-what-sucks-going-through-a                [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/101713543141/more-i-say-i-dont-chase-but-i-do-i-did when they had broken up, references ‘chasing’ people and the fact that this person was a child at the time something he himself points out. [click for link to image]

other bits of conversation with this person: [chat part 1.]  [chat part 2.] the parts that are redacted are for this person’s comfort, they felt those parts were too identifying. [chat part 3.] contains more (see below under cl2y) about his habit of telling stories about all of his exes, none of which are kind and all paint him in a better light. it’s one of the classic moves of an abuser. the red edits are from them themself, the edits do not change the context and also fix some grammatical errors.

of note, after this person broke things off with lawrence, he went on to reblog this post [link to image] despite asking for and engaging in sexual content with a known minor willingly.

====

http://coyoteas.tumblr.com/     [click for link to image] - was 18/19 when they started dating. was 18 when they first started talking. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/archive/2014/9 http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/101642762146/coyoteas-replied-to-your-postthat-feel-when-you           [click for link to image]     rp might be one of the ways he lures people in. [definitely uses sex appeal - click for screenshot] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/103246409901/if-you-cant-appreciate-hella-cute-boys-with         [click for link to image] chat with coyoteas. [click for link to image] this was all he was willing to share in regards to lawrence’s behavior.

====

http://kitchnboy.tumblr.com/ / localchef.tumblr.com (previous url) / http://unchefly.tumblr.com (previous url) was 18 when they started dating, was 18 when they started talking based on timing.       [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/120590264641/also-im-not-single-anymore          [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/129047704191/pretty-sure-my-boyfriend-fell-asleep-cuddling-an           [click for link to image]  references his boyfriend’s underage drinking. 

===

he was briefly seeing a few people between the person below and kitchnboy but there is not enough information his blog to find out who they were and ask them if they’d be willing to speak about their experiences with him or their ages for that matter… see the chat logs below generously given for this from cl2y.

====

name redacted upon request. this partner was very uncomfortable talking about him so we’ve kept it to just what was said on his blog and the fact that they are in fact in their 20s, closer to his age than his previous partners which, if we can speculate might be why he lost interest relatively quickly. [click for link to image] [click for link to image] [click for link to image]

=====

as for lawrence’s most recent ex, they’ve asked to also be redacted from this file. - is currently 19, supposedly they’ve been talking since he was at least 18 ish while lawrence was dating another partner. he was described as one former partner as a ‘serial monogamist’ and it does appear that he rapidly lines up and cycles through partners. [click for an old image]   link redacted for as much privacy as possible    [click for link to image] age proof http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/160663250106/the-gays       [click for link to image] they have definitely met irl. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/160694921851/you-know-youre-screwed-when-your-bed-still-smells        [click for link to image]  proof of sexual contact. where ospriet and others go on to defend his choices in dating teenagers: ospriet.tumblr.com/post/161463971591/just-so-were-clear-i-have-a-boyfriend-my          [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/161480963336/now-that-im-home-for-the-evening-i-will-explain         [click for link to image]

======

other inappropriate age wise ‘friendships’ that were found: http://puppy-eater.tumblr.com/ http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/97018639641/puppy-eater-replied-to-your-post-mor-i-used-to   had been speaking to lawrence before this point, so was in highschool. between 17-18. http://native-trickster.tumblr.com/        [click for image]    was 17 when they first began interacting on tumblr, is now 18.

=====

general others:

http://tricksterkind.tumblr.com/about - age unknown but they might have been almost dating at one point.

user cl2y was exceptionally generous and brave to not only share the following logs but to allow us to keep their name attached to all this. the following are both logs from skype with him as well as a tumblr chat they had with someone else concerning what he said. cl2y and lawrence had been talking in the summer of 2016, when these screenshots had come from.

[tumblr log 1.] [skype log part 1.] his age. [skype log part 2.] this seems to be one of the people he was seeing after kitchnboy. [skype log part 3.] on his other exes. [skype log part 4.] not really proof of anything, but can’t distinguish between reality and fiction and lets that fiction influence his reality. the folowing contain noncon or torture porn references in rp scenarios that cl2y was not comfortable with but he couldn’t take a hint. [skype log part 5.] [skype log part 6.] [skype log part 7.] [skype log part 8.]

of note as well, he made this post 3 years back looking down upon scenarios he himself asked for. [click for link] also note the fact he is unconcerned with minors engaging in sexual scenarios. in the following link from 3 years ago, he berates fictional portrayal of noncon including using it to cope despite soliciting such content against the wishes of one of his then roleplay partners (cl2y). [click for image]

this was also around the time he was “dating” and engaging a minor in sexual scenarios so he is certainly not really concerned with the legality of the issues he’s talking about.

it’s believed he uses roleplay to find new targets. [click for image]

========

underage art reblogged: http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/87417886561/irisviel-yukinashin-%E6%B4%97%E6%B4%97%E7%90%83%E6%B4%97%E7%90%83%E7%90%83 levi and eren (13-16 years old) from snk   [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/90305481776/erueres-%E3%83%89%E3%83%AA%E3%83%BC eren (13-16 years old) and erwin from snk     [click for link to image] [click for image] - more incestual content, from homestuck this time. the characters pictured are related as well as 13-16 years old.

========

nsfw content warning http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/151957572816/inkeyeliner-had-a-freaking-blast-at         [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/160297190971/sometimessmuthappens-oh-gosh-%CF%89-%E3%82%9E-i         [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/155717961546/sometimessmuthappens-uhhhhhh-ooops-not-sure-if          [click for image] borderline beastiality. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/114134431481/i-long-to-talk-with-some-old-lovers-ghost-who if not actual.     [click for image]

======

borderline fetishistic interest in other cultures, particularly japanese (reblogs a ton of japanese art/uses japanese phrasing/kanji/acquired a job at a japanese clothing store) or other asian cultures. please look through his archives, there are too many posts to include. [click for link] also says things like http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/92592080111/oh-my-god-i-dont-have-yellow-fever-i-swear-ive    not this is involving the 17 year old he was dating.    [click for image]   http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/84559811006/when-i-turn-30something-i-hope-i-look-half-as-good             [click for image] also roleplayed real people (http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/90308357146/blauh-blah-more-when-i-came-home-from-the         [click for image] also native american cultures. has plenty of reblogs in history.

==

other posts of interest http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/70938323641/sigh-pretty-girls-in-lolita-dresses-and-frills             [click for image]   http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/54425446342/am-i-the-only-dude-who-ships-roxy-and-dirk-le into incest.        [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/159349377356/cats-paw-talisman-for-safe-travels has a real cats paw.. who knows from where.     [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/155183650071/shit might be his car.   [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/114184533256/what-sort-of-animal-could-be-my-spirit-animal involved in ‘spirit animals’ even though that is not his place as a non-native american.         [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/101732442131/i-need-something-cute-to-bed-stat lends itself to the whole theory he targets and dates people for relative easy access for sexual content/sex. teenagers are slightly easier marks than people his own age.     [click for image]

====

these posts are simply ironic given his history with minors and teenagers. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/154185782796/being-an-adult-is-hardmore-being-an-adult           [click for image]

http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/139206250666/ngl-im-a-little-bummed-i-wontcant-attend         [click for image]

====

i’m well aware there are many who will feel strongly about how this is being handled but this isn’t gossiping or rumor-milling. there’s ample evidence here that points to his attentions to minors/teenagers. and no, no one involved in the marking of this post (apart from the exes or ex-roleplay partners who responded) was personally affected. one of us got a message about this man and decided to look into it because you can’t go and believe general “slanderous” statements about people, especially from completely anonymous parties. imagine the shock  when it was discovered that the message received wasn’t based in lies and that it wasn’t a “typical tumblr callout” post.

[kostovas]

my diary post about my feelings before going to college

august 22, 2017, 10:06 pm, my room in El Paso

The way that I tend to deal with my problems/worries is that I don’t think about them and ignore them and keep ignoring them until they get so big that I’m forced to think about and deal with them.

That is basically what I have been doing this entire summer. I don’t even remember the last time I wrote in my diary and I’ve decided to start typing it out instead since I’m afraid I won’t have the motivation to literally write out my diary in COLLEGE, aka, the problem/worry, which branches out into a bunch of other little problems/worries (I’m going to be living 10 hours away from home, what if I mess up while doing the laundry, what if the work is too hard, my parents are going to be sad,) that I have been pushing away

Although to be honest about 90% of the summer consisted of me in my room writing fan fiction or watching Netflix or scrolling through twitter, I still really didn’t think much about it…

Orientation? Did I even write about it? It was fine, it was good, I instantly clicked with my roommate sara, yes, same name as me, and my orientation-roommate was nice but I have a weird after-taste about her because she told me she was Latina because although she is German Swedish Irish french Spanish insert a billion other super white ethnicities here, her mom is from New Mexico!

Orientation just felt like a more cramped, panicked version of NSLC camp which I went to last year. NSLC was like, a random pocket-universe where I met new people who I spontaneously had a lot in common with and thought about my future in entertainment business with just for fun. Orientation is where I met new people who I very un-spontaneously had at least one thing in common with, starting ut, and thought about my future for real.

I feel like I’ve got some things down, aka my class schedule and what music I could potentially listen to while walking around campus (my Austin playlist is a lot of vampire weekend and sza and I know that sounds like a weird combo but it feels insanely fitting) but for the most part I still very much have ABSOLUTELY ZERO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!

I…. AM PANICKING BIG TIME RIGHT NOW… I CRIED LIKE A MINUTE BEFORE I STARTED WRITING THIS… WHICH I HAVE NOT DONE (at least not over anything that wasn’t a book or a tv show or a movie) THIS ENTIRE SUMMER!!!

This summer, although filled with a lot of nothing and empty spaces, felt so perfect and so teenage-me. Maybe not truly me, truly what I would have done in my perfect world, but just… what I would do as a teenager. I know I’m still technically going to be a teenager for at least awhile in college, but, not like this. Not the El Paso bred high school boredom tennis court by Lorde Gilmore girls crying teenager. I’ll be something else, whatever it is, and I have no idea what. I am afraid to meet her. I am excited I am scared I am going to vomit all over this new computer I bought for college

I went to a lot of movies this summer, mostly with nicole and mostly at the Alamo draft house and mostly before they came out (baby driver, good time, which I both liked but baby driver way more).

I got my drivers license and I passed the test by literally oNE POINT

I drove by myself to nicoles apartment and we had weird conversations about our psychic feelings and premonitions about our own lives and deaths. That was the first time I drove by myself and it was for about five minutes and I sung out loud to dua lipa the entire time because I feel like falling asleep any time I go in a moving vehicle and theres no music and my dad drove me back later because it was raining.

I also drove to pick up alondra the Friday before she left for college. Her first day of school was today and she left like a week early. She’s in South Carolina at college of Charleston and I’m even scared for her. We got chick fil a and went home and talked about da Vinci and being Latina outside of El Paso and random memories and feelings and nothing and everything and nothing again

I hung out with my grandpa a lot, who has been staying here all summer. Yesterday he showed me a picture of my great grandpa who I had never seen before and I was so shocked, he looked like a real Mexican movie star cowboy, I have no idea what John Wayne looks like but he should look like my great grandpa, panfilo vela. Yesterday in particular my grandpa worried about pregnant women because the solar eclipse was happening and they were not wearing safety pins, a latino superstition he said so firmly as a scientific fact that I was really confused and briefly wondering if there was some sort of pregnant women’s medical pin. My dad said ‘that’s part of his charm’’ believing things so intensely, I guess. I think I got some of that from him

I went to San Antonio last week with tia 1 and valerie and Abuelita and my family. Tia 2 is usually the one to go on vacations with us, but she has this new best friend who she is in a two-person cult with, with her BFF/Bestie/Twinsie (yes, she is a 40+ year old woman, who calls her that) being the leader and her being the devout follower, paying for all her tickets to schiltterbaun and the movies and everything she buys while shopping and all her food and yelling at her employees for getting mad at her for something to do with a water bottle I don’t know but it’s definitely throwing off the balance of the universe.

But it was fun, tia 1 is very loud and charismatic and doesnt give any fucks and now I like to say “no mas mis chicharrones truenan aqui” also I am mad I am not more tan

I learned how to make crepes I have made at least 7 successful ones

Okay. so. crying. Here’s a text I sent to the vampire weekend group chat earlier:

(redacted) I really feel like my dad raised me mostly and he just took me out to the fanciest dinner of my life as a “father-daughter dinner” before college and he ran into some friends who were older than him and they were like “ur gonna miss her it’s gonna suck!” And I think my dad almost cried and we talked about heaven in the car and now I’m home and there’s boxes in my room and I’m staring at them and crying

end text

My dad put together those boxes for me with longhorn tape. Burnt orange duct tape with white longhorn shapes on them, literally That’s where my arts and crafts related headassery comes from

I’m going to be staying in a dorm at UT with my own restroom and now I’m thinking do I even really know how to clean a shower NOT REALLY

I’m gonna end up googling it while I’m there

I feel like I don’t actually know how to iron like I’m doing it wrong for sure

The restaurant was called cafe central it’s in downtown El Paso which I think is really truly beautiful even though objectively it’s ugly I’m super emotional and so I think it’s extremely beautiful and it’s just. I feel . It’s just how I feel.

I feel so in touch with the El Paso city it doesn’t even feel real. I feel like all the abandoned buildings are just cardboard cutouts and I have the power to knock them over with my fingertips. the homeless guys there don’t even scare me that much even though they probably should, not even the old lady with the bandaids all over her hands who stole Isaac’s hot dog once

god. That dinner was so fancy and I kept thinking about all these early 2000s chick flicks where a girl eats in a fancy restaurant for one reason or another and I kept thinking about how I love my dad and I kept thinking about how why do we need four different knives and I kept thinking about how that place started in 1918 so it probably wouldn’t have allowed someone who looked like my dad in there for awhile but there I was sitting with my dark brown dad eating food with names and ingredients I have literally never heard of and the chocolate cake melted into itself and chamomile tea is a gift from god

I read a lot of matt Murdock fanfiction today.

How am I 18 years old? I don’t want to… do anything ever… I want to read fan fiction and lay face down on the floor, but not even those two things can be accomplished at the same time.

NOTE: (redacted) means I took something out in case some certain irl people read this, maybe I should’ve taken the thing about tia 2 out but, well, I am somewhat at peace with death

[markjeffersonshipsterglasses]

A letter to my ex friend.

Hey, REDACTED. Do you remember how we first met? I was so shy, but your voice was like a breath of fresh air in the group of people we were in... social situations can be overwhelming and stiffing to me. You helped a lot with that.

I had never met anyone like you before. You made me comfortable. You made me laugh to tears, you made me happier and funnier with your presence and sense of humor. You were there for me and I loved you for it. You were understanding and I loved you for it. You were funny, smart, likable, kind, and every time we hung out and chatted- it meant the world to me.

When you stood next to me I felt amazing and invincible because of how confident in myself you made me feel. It was like we were two identical flames who saw no need to compete but to compliment each other. Burning brighter together.

You made me feel special, smart, validated and loved.

We had an unspoken bond where we just knew what the other was thinking and what we were gonna say.

I find myself asking what did I do wrong.

Why isn't my friend talking to me?

Have I messed things up?

I would want to know what I did, for personal growth reasons. I want to do better. I don't know what it is, maybe you need an apology from me? So this is as best as I can do from where I stand in a position of ignorance. [The real meaning of the word, unlike how we used it all those times in irony]

I'm sorry if I wasn't there for you, if I couldn't do enough or didn't do enough. I'm sorry if i made you feel a certain way, and know that I didn't mean to and I'd give up a lot to change whatever I did that was so wrong in your eyes.

Last night I saw you in the chat room with THREE NAMES REDACTED just hanging out and blocking me from joining. It made me sick to my stomach. It made my heart drop into the pit where my stomach had dropped from. Wondering what I could have done so you didn't want me around specifically. It made me angry again. I was taken to that place where I was as a child, bullied by people I thought were my friends. Yes, exclusion is a form of mental abuse.

The truth is I've been sick about it for months.

It crushed me because you know what things are like for me now, how things have been even harder than ever before and the one small joy I got was from hearing how your day went and making jokes with you over voice chat. Maybe I put too much pressure on you, or maybe I should have told you more how happy I was to be your friend.

I have mixed feelings. Here's this guy I loved like a brother, like a soul mate- someone I wanted in my life forever as a friend, who could harm me so bad... When it all could have been avoided by a few words: I don't want to talk right now.

How could I be so blind?

This has made me feel that you never valued any of our time together. It's made me think that you didn't put an ounce of care into our friendship if you could just hide from me like this.

I'm understanding, but I will hold you accountable, and I believe that you're being a coward about it. Learn communication, man. You're damaging us both.

I'm a firm believer in how we teach people how to treat us- and I refuse to let you treat me this way.

I'm leaving you with this, and I'm giving you until Friday to respond... and honestly, that is a lot more time than I'd give anyone else because you are someone I care about more than most. This is the last olive branch, I will leave you alone for good.

PB

[devilsknotrp]

Congratulations, T! You have been accepted for the role of Lisa Ramirez (FC: Alice Braga). Where can we even start?! This application, from the get go, was just a marvelous experience. You’ve written Lisa so tenderly and articulated that she is, at her core, a good person. We especially loved the inclusion of her war past and how that has stayed with her. That attention to detail stands out and I was touched you reached out to discuss it further. Moreover, your acknowledgement of the current state of affairs and how Lisa fits into them just shows that you’re ready to throw her into the deep end. She has a central role to play in Devil’s Knot, and we know you’re going to bring the best out in her. Thank you for a mature and thoughtful application. Please have a look at this page prior to sending in your account.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name: T. Age: 23. Pronouns: She/Her. Timezone: CST. Activity estimation: 7/10. I work a full-time job and sometimes I’m on call, but I’m always on for a few hours a day and sometimes I can even have my laptop at work. Triggers: [Redacted]

IN CHARACTER: BASICS

Full name: Lisa Marie Ramirez. Age (DD/MM/YYY): 43 (21/02/1953). Gender: Female. Pronouns: She/Her. Sexuality: Bisexual. Occupation: Community Engagement and Liaison Officer. Connection to Victim: Before Brian went missing, there wasn’t really a connection there. Of course, any time someone new moves into Devil’s Knot, word goes ‘round. With Brian’s disappearance, her role as liaison officer has became something a bit overwhelming and quite frankly, a major shock factor. She’s responsible for ensuring that every resource and service is utilized in the greatest manner, and to keep the press under control. If anything, she’s a lifeline for Brian, which puts a lot of unwanted weight on her. As for Linda, Lisa has met her a few times to help with the organization of searches and because of her friendship with Vernon. Alibi: Lisa was at the community centre setting up for an AA sobriety meeting with a few members of the group. Of course, she was there late considering she’s responsible for hosting the meeting and cleaning up afterwards. Expansion in writing sample and in the headcanon section. Faceclaim: Alice Braga.

WRITING SAMPLE

No meeting was ever the same, no addict ever fully recovered from the sickness that haunted them. Except, those who didn’t understand the disease failed to label it as such, but who was she to make such a powerful statement? She believed fully in the program’s goal and believed that if every member supported the other, that any addiction could be slain. Her hope was enough to keep her going, no matter how many times an individual fell off the wagon or damn near dared to. Someone had to believe in them outside of their sponsors and if the community couldn’t find the empathy to do that, then she most certainly could.

“Alright, the third batch of coffee is almost done and I’ve already got the chairs set up for about the same number of people as we had last meeting. I added a few more in case we had some newcomers.” She was hellbent on gathering as many people as she possibly could, but there were still those who suffered with their sickness in the dark. The overzealous organizer looked around the meeting space where plenty of familiar faces mingled amongst one another. It was a pride-striking moment to see such an amazing group of people, but then again, who was to say they were amazing at all outside of the meeting circle? After all, she’d trusted Max Acosta and he’d been pinned with a violent murder, though parts of her still doubted his guilt.

When the caged clock above the exit struck eight, everyone gathered in the circle, leaving only a few empty seats to Lisa’s minor disappointment. One day they’d fill them all and need a few extra, but today wasn’t that day. She sat up straight as she introduced herself the same as always. First came the Serenity Prayer, then the stories of the various meeting members strong enough to share.

“My name is Lisa and I’m an alcoholic,” she paused, allowing enough time for those in the group to politely greet her as they always did. “I’ve been sober for about sixteen years now. Everyday is still a challenge, but if it were easy, anyone could do it. I used to hate the idea of stopping drinking. It seemed like if I stopped, all of my past pain would come back. Whenever I finally met my year mark, then my second year, I finally felt powerful to be able to function without a bottle. It’s possible to have a good time without drinking. I know that being here isn’t easy for some of us, but nothing comes easy. It doesn’t matter what the people outside of this meeting space think – it only matters what we do with ourselves. Everyone in this room is brave and I commend you all on your shares, and I commend those of you don’t share as well. Thank you.” Everyone needed recognition, even the quiet ones that were too reserved or nervous to speak up.

Interested in the next share, Lisa perked up in her straight-backed metal chair, dark hues scanning her fellow peers for the next brave person to step up. Nervously, a familiar face raised his hand, her attention directed solely toward him. She admired those brave enough to step into the arena known as the recovery process. Round after round could be fought, but the slightest hint of weakness could result in a loss. It was a dangerous game they’d all been thrown into, but day by day, they were desperately trying to win.

After a near hour and a half had passed, Lisa found herself standing with a smile. “That’s all the time we have tonight. Thank you to those who shared. As always, if you want to stay and chat a bit before heading out, go ahead. If anyone wants another cup of coffee, just let me know before I clean up. Have a safe trip home and I look forward to seeing you all next time.”

ANYTHING ELSE?

mock blog

pinterest

HEADCANONS: TW ALCOHOLISM, TW DEATH, TW WAR, TW PTSD

Lisa joined the war effort as a combat nurse in 1971 at the age of eighteen. She lied on the application saying she was twenty, but no one dared to question it. After all, it was a desperate time for American troops and all hands on deck were needed. She was thrown into combat with a short amount of training, but the truth of the matter is simple; she’d been sent in for damage control and nothing more. She spent two years in combat before the Paris Peace Accords was signed and by March of 1973, she’d been brought by to the states left to recover with the things she’d taken part in.

She suffered from PTSD, which led to her drowning out her pain in booze. For seven years she tried to get sober, but always fell off the wagon for some reason or another. Quite frankly, she was a functioning alcoholic. By 1980, Lisa needed a change in scenery and programs, which is what brought her to Devil’s Knot. Now, it’s 1996 and she’s been sober for a stretch of sixteen years.

She has her doubts about Max Acosta being capable of such violence. She thinks that the police department should’ve dug deeper, but then again, what does she know?

Since 1984, she’s been building herself up in the community and has tried to keep herself as busy as possible. With twelve years gone, she’s more comfortable in her own skin than she’s been her entire life.

The night of Brian’s disappearance, Lisa was held up at the community centre with an AA sobriety meeting. Her night started off with getting coffee ready for the group. I mean, do you know how important coffee is at meetings? Has to be strong and bottomless. She leads the sobriety meetings, ‘cause who better than someone with sixteen years under their belt? She opened, guided discussions, and shut the group down routinely as she did every other night. Afterwords, she took point in returning the chairs to their orderly form, cleaned up the coffee maker, and made sure to take out the trash like any good guest of a borrowed space would do. If she had to guess what time she finally got home that night, she’d say nearly eleven, perhaps a little later. Besides, it wasn’t like she was watching her every move at the time.

Meeting runtime: 8:00PM to 9:30PM

With Brian’s disappearance, Lisa’s been working double, even triple time to keep things as calm as possible. Between her late nights at the mayor’s office and her early mornings at the station, Lisa is worn thin at times. The hungry journalists and their thirst for a connection to the tragic incident in 1984 has been somewhat of a trigger for her. She still has a hard time believing Max is the one responsible, but what she thinks doesn’t really matter. So, she spends a lot of time keeping the story straight and dodging as many questions as she can. It’s an elevated role for her, but someone has to do it and she’s always willing to step up when needed.Whenever she and Danielle go out for beers, Lisa always chooses ginger ale as her drink of choice. After all, recovery is a forever long process and she’s not too keen on throwing away sixteen years of sobriety for a good night of fun and lord knows Danielle would never let her do such a thing.Being with someone 14 years younger than her is a total shock factor at times. She often questions when it’s going to end and quite honestly, she has low expectations of it actually lasting longterm, regardless of what she wants. It doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be incredibly happy if it were to workout. She wants to settle down in the safest route possible, even if it means making a few changes.Anyone who knows Lisa knows that Sweet Child O’ Mine is her jam. It’s her all time favorite song and if it plays, you can almost guarantee she’s somewhere mouthing every word and playing the best damn air guitar known to (wo)mankind.

[pleasereadfully-blog]

WARNING: LAWRENCE M. REINHARDT/USER “OSPRIET”

   further proof the person and accounts referenced are him:

(since writing this, lawrence has since deleted his blog. either he then recreated it with the same url or someone else got to it in the interim, just know that the current holder of the url “ospriet” may not be lawrence himself. there are as many screenshots of the posts referenced as possible.)

to match the pictures above with the ORIGINAL account referenced:

http://ospriet.tumblr.com/tagged/it-me     [click for image]

warning for not safe for work content with multiple topics. adults having sexual contact w/ minors, topics including incest, beastiality, rape, torture porn, abuse and other uncomfortable topics.

what’s of most concern is this man’s tendency to pursue teenage partners despite being well into his 20s and nearing his 30s. this perhaps wouldn’t be so concerning if he didn’t start his pursuits when these vulnerable (mostly trans boys, either pre-transition or as they transition it seems) teenagers who either aren’t 18 yet or are just recently 18. while not illegal, there is something very disturbing about a 28 year old man who repeatedly targets teenagers. he is not engaging in these relationships without knowing the ages or age gaps, he has admitted he knows just how old his partners are when he first starts seeking them out. these are not false allegations. there have been lengthy, emotionally devastating conversations with his past partners. he appears to use to fandom, online communities and groups, friendship, and roleplay to lure (there are other instances of similar posts throughout his blog) these teenagers in and then fosters a friendship with them that then he turns into a (sexual) relationship. there are several other links and screenshots throughout this post where he admits he enjoys age gaps as well.

(for those who do not know what some of these terms mean: roleplay is where two or more person’s write from the view point of certain characters from different mediums. it can vary from safe for work content or sexually explicit content.

“fandom” refers to collective fans of different medium, shows, games, books etc.)

it seems the fandoms in particular are snk, homestuck, the mcelroys brother’s content and dragon age. the first two seem as though he’s not into them anymore, but they’re worth noting. also vulture culture, norse mythology, werewolves and witchcraft but those two aren’t fandom just communities more or less.

he also appears to use okcupid, tinder and other date applications and websites to find people who meet his marks so be aware if you use such things or know people who do.

any adult man who has repeatedly displayed this behavior around teenagers should not be tolerated or excused for these actions. i would have liked to not put words in the reader’s mouth but repeated offenses like this have only one word: predatory. he should not be fostering friendships with teenagers, particularly ones who are minors. he should not be allowing minors to follow his blog. he should not be talking with them in private through skype or text or email or any other venue. he has reblogged provocative illustrated art of minors before which is disturbing given his inclinations. yes to be just, there are only two instances but they are there. there are images below which contain beastiality and as confirmed by others, he is sexually interested in scenarios involving animals beyond fiction and should not be around those either to be frank. even if you would like to wish that purely fictional interests don’t necessarily translate into real life pursuits, he has already demonstrated he’s willing to sexually and coercively pursue minors. the at the time 17 year old he dated still bears deep and lasting psychological scars from their “relationship” with him.

be aware that much of this is just the things we know of now that were made public through his blog.

the following information has been either found on his blog or generously supplied by individuals seeking to do right by the community.

his name is lawrence m. reinhardt [image], his nickname is wren, he’s currently 28 years old [image], lives in milford connecticut [image], works at jones family farm [image] and utilizes this tattoo parlor [image]. previously he was employed at uniqlo. [image]

this is his etsy shop [image] , his facebook account [link] his skype account [image] as well.

this an avatar he frequently uses. formally made by a previous girlfriend. [image]

his home address was left out of this write up as it wouldn’t be fair to involve his family since he still lives at home with them.

do not agree with some of the previous methods used to address these matters nor do i enjoy sharing the information above but i think it is important given his history that people know just who he is and where he can be found.

i sincerely hope that the information below gives anyone pause before they continue interacting with and supporting lawrence. these are not matters that could or should be waved away or excused with “but his current boyfriend is 18/over 18.” this isn’t a one off event or cause of concern and trying to excuse his behavior makes the excuser just as much to blame for his actions.

his lines clearly are crossed between reality and fiction and his fictional pursuits clearly have already endangered vulnerable youth and left unchecked, he stands to harm future youth as well.

please keep in mind there is much that has not been shared at the request of those he’s interacted with in the past. please keep reading for specific documentations of the above matters.

there is a good thing to read on the matter of age gaps themselves located here for those willing.

as well as this post as well as other posts on the blog pertaining to age gaps.

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he says he’s only interest in a 5 year or so difference but repeatedly targets teenagers out of his age range to pursue.

[click for image]

all of his relationships save for one that’s been found have been 8 or more years with largest gap being 9 years. this is a dangerous pattern.

from the oldest relationship located to the most recent:

in 2013, dated http://barackohana.tumblr.com/unknown age unknown and this is the only mention of them. mentioned only to establish the timeline. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/41822601413/barackohana-im-gonna-meet-my-bf-face-to-face-on      [click for link to image]

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then dated http://dysfunctionaldraught.tumblr.com for several months. currently 22, so they were 17/18 at the start of their relationship and interactions. [click for image] [click for image]

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[NAME REDACTED IN THESE POSTS this individual was a minor for this ‘friendship’ into ‘relationship’ and has been contacted about this relationship. talking about lawrence and this ‘relationship’ was very uncomfortable for them and they prefer to keep as much distance as possible and we’ve done our best to honor that request.] keep in mind, ospriet/lawrence was 25 for this relationship, he acknowledges his age here: http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/84571471106/sometimes-i-forget-im-in-my-mid-twenties-l-m-f-a    [click for link to image]

”i was 17 when i met him and he was 25 (i’m 21 now) and [redacted …]” [click for link if image won’t show]

was 17 when they started talking. (old links & their old account berik http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/93897778121/beriks-im-twelve-look-at-this-little-shit      [click for link to image]

being 17 at the start, they were in highschool. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/88865162886/beriks-time-to-graduate-nerds-congratulations         [click for link to image] ospriet.tumblr.com/post/85847849581/       [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/85180268721/92936-pm-chief-i-a-cute-southern       [click for link to image]

sexual content: http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/91473197761/stayed-up-waaay-too-late-foolin-around-with-the http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/87159731326/this-just-in-my-boyfriend-has-the-cutest-undies       [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/88177729331/more-i-think-thats-partly-why-i-freakin           [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/86710997056/you-know-what-sucks-more-going-almost-an           [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/87947493101/more-you-know-what-sucks-going-through-a                [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/101713543141/more-i-say-i-dont-chase-but-i-do-i-did when they had broken up, references ‘chasing’ people and the fact that this person was a child at the time something he himself points out. [click for link to image]

other bits of conversation with this person: [chat part 1.]  [chat part 2.] the parts that are redacted are for this person’s comfort, they felt those parts were too identifying. [chat part 3.] contains more (see below under cl2y) about his habit of telling stories about all of his exes, none of which are kind and all paint him in a better light. it’s one of the classic moves of an abuser. the red edits are from them themself, the edits do not change the context and also fix some grammatical errors.

of note, after this person broke things off with lawrence, he went on to reblog this post [link to image] despite asking for and engaging in sexual content with a known minor willingly.

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http://coyoteas.tumblr.com/     [click for link to image] - was 18/19 when they started dating. was 18 when they first started talking. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/archive/2014/9 http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/101642762146/coyoteas-replied-to-your-postthat-feel-when-you           [click for link to image]     rp might be one of the ways he lures people in. [definitely uses sex appeal - click for screenshot] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/103246409901/if-you-cant-appreciate-hella-cute-boys-with         [click for link to image] chat with coyoteas. [click for link to image] this was all he was willing to share in regards to lawrence’s behavior.

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http://kitchnboy.tumblr.com/ / localchef.tumblr.com (previous url) / http://unchefly.tumblr.com (previous url) was 18 when they started dating, was 18 when they started talking based on timing.       [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/120590264641/also-im-not-single-anymore          [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/129047704191/pretty-sure-my-boyfriend-fell-asleep-cuddling-an           [click for link to image]  references his boyfriend’s underage drinking. 

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he was briefly seeing a few people between the person below and kitchnboy but there is not enough information his blog to find out who they were and ask them if they’d be willing to speak about their experiences with him or their ages for that matter… see the chat logs below generously given for this from cl2y.

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name redacted upon request. this partner was very uncomfortable talking about him so we’ve kept it to just what was said on his blog and the fact that they are in fact in their 20s, closer to his age than his previous partners which, if we can speculate might be why he lost interest relatively quickly. [click for link to image] [click for link to image] [click for link to image]

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as for lawrence’s most recent ex, they’ve asked to also be redacted from this file. - is currently 19, supposedly they’ve been talking since he was at least 18 ish while lawrence was dating another partner. he was described as one former partner as a ‘serial monogamist’ and it does appear that he rapidly lines up and cycles through partners. [click for an old image]   link redacted for as much privacy as possible    [click for link to image] age proof http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/160663250106/the-gays       [click for link to image] they have definitely met irl. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/160694921851/you-know-youre-screwed-when-your-bed-still-smells        [click for link to image]  proof of sexual contact. where ospriet and others go on to defend his choices in dating teenagers: ospriet.tumblr.com/post/161463971591/just-so-were-clear-i-have-a-boyfriend-my          [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/161480963336/now-that-im-home-for-the-evening-i-will-explain         [click for link to image]

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other inappropriate age wise ‘friendships’ that were found: http://puppy-eater.tumblr.com/ http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/97018639641/puppy-eater-replied-to-your-post-mor-i-used-to   had been speaking to lawrence before this point, so was in highschool. between 17-18. http://native-trickster.tumblr.com/        [click for image]    was 17 when they first began interacting on tumblr, is now 18.

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general others:

http://tricksterkind.tumblr.com/about - age unknown but they might have been almost dating at one point.

user cl2y was exceptionally generous and brave to not only share the following logs but to allow us to keep their name attached to all this. the following are both logs from skype with him as well as a tumblr chat they had with someone else concerning what he said. cl2y and lawrence had been talking in the summer of 2016, when these screenshots had come from.

[tumblr log 1.] [skype log part 1.] his age. [skype log part 2.] this seems to be one of the people he was seeing after kitchnboy. [skype log part 3.] on his other exes. [skype log part 4.] not really proof of anything, but can’t distinguish between reality and fiction and lets that fiction influence his reality. the folowing contain noncon or torture porn references in rp scenarios that cl2y was not comfortable with but he couldn’t take a hint. [skype log part 5.] [skype log part 6.] [skype log part 7.] [skype log part 8.]

of note as well, he made this post 3 years back looking down upon scenarios he himself asked for. [click for link] also note the fact he is unconcerned with minors engaging in sexual scenarios. in the following link from 3 years ago, he berates fictional portrayal of noncon including using it to cope despite soliciting such content against the wishes of one of his then roleplay partners (cl2y). [click for image]

this was also around the time he was “dating” and engaging a minor in sexual scenarios so he is certainly not really concerned with the legality of the issues he’s talking about.

it’s believed he uses roleplay to find new targets. [click for image]

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underage art reblogged: http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/87417886561/irisviel-yukinashin-%E6%B4%97%E6%B4%97%E7%90%83%E6%B4%97%E7%90%83%E7%90%83 levi and eren (13-16 years old) from snk   [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/90305481776/erueres-%E3%83%89%E3%83%AA%E3%83%BC eren (13-16 years old) and erwin from snk     [click for link to image] [click for image] - more incestual content, from homestuck this time. the characters pictured are related as well as 13-16 years old.

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nsfw content warning http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/151957572816/inkeyeliner-had-a-freaking-blast-at         [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/160297190971/sometimessmuthappens-oh-gosh-%CF%89-%E3%82%9E-i         [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/155717961546/sometimessmuthappens-uhhhhhh-ooops-not-sure-if          [click for image] borderline beastiality. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/114134431481/i-long-to-talk-with-some-old-lovers-ghost-who if not actual.     [click for image]

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borderline fetishistic interest in other cultures, particularly japanese (reblogs a ton of japanese art/uses japanese phrasing/kanji/acquired a job at a japanese clothing store) or other asian cultures. please look through his archives, there are too many posts to include. [click for link] also says things like http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/92592080111/oh-my-god-i-dont-have-yellow-fever-i-swear-ive    not this is involving the 17 year old he was dating.    [click for image]   http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/84559811006/when-i-turn-30something-i-hope-i-look-half-as-good             [click for image] also roleplayed real people (http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/90308357146/blauh-blah-more-when-i-came-home-from-the         [click for image] also native american cultures. has plenty of reblogs in history.

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other posts of interest http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/70938323641/sigh-pretty-girls-in-lolita-dresses-and-frills             [click for image]   http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/54425446342/am-i-the-only-dude-who-ships-roxy-and-dirk-le into incest.        [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/159349377356/cats-paw-talisman-for-safe-travels has a real cats paw.. who knows from where.     [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/155183650071/shit might be his car.   [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/114184533256/what-sort-of-animal-could-be-my-spirit-animal involved in ‘spirit animals’ even though that is not his place as a non-native american.         [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/101732442131/i-need-something-cute-to-bed-stat lends itself to the whole theory he targets and dates people for relative easy access for sexual content/sex. teenagers are slightly easier marks than people his own age.     [click for image]

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these posts are simply ironic given his history with minors and teenagers. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/154185782796/being-an-adult-is-hardmore-being-an-adult           [click for image]

http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/139206250666/ngl-im-a-little-bummed-i-wontcant-attend         [click for image]

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i’m well aware there are many who will feel strongly about how this is being handled but this isn’t gossiping or rumor-milling. there’s ample evidence here that points to his attentions to minors/teenagers. and no, no one involved in the marking of this post (apart from the exes or ex-roleplay partners who responded) was personally affected. one of us got a message about this man and decided to look into it because you can’t go and believe general “slanderous” statements about people, especially from completely anonymous parties. imagine the shock  when it was discovered that the message received wasn’t based in lies and that it wasn’t a “typical tumblr callout” post.