#and like it completely defeats the point of girl math as a whole

[euphoricfilter]

not to be a raging hater but people who make a whole deal over girl math defeat the point of girl math. you can’t consciously sit down and justify a purchase with ‘girl math’. it’s an unconscious thought process, a little thing that just makes sense in your silly little head 🚶‍♀️ and it just makes sense because obviously that’s just how it works

[stariikis]

operation : be your boyfriend | yang jungwon

synopsis ; thousands of ways to say, 'i love you,' and jungwon can't even carry out one special procedure without messing up. that is, until your birthday rolls around and you're greeted by the kitten you've always dreamed of owning, at your doorstep...

pairing ; clumsy!jungwon x fem!reader | genre ; fluff, crushing, confessions | wc ; 2721 | warnings n notes ; you're not oblivious, you're just a little bit of a mastermind sociopath! appearances of sunoo riki heeseung and eunchae in this fic!

baby... i'm just tryna play it cool... but i just can't hide that... i want you ઇઉ

OPERATION 1 : SECRET ADMIRER

“Clearly, he’s not listening to us.” 

“Yang Jungwon…” 

“Yang Jungwon!” 

Jolting back to the present, Jungwon coughs awkwardly and jerks his gaze away from the girl across the room. He didn’t realise he was staring at the mere back of her head the whole time… how embarrassing for him. Shifting his gaze back to his groupmates, staring at him with a bemused expression, he clears his throat. 

“I’m on task,” he tries to say, but it comes out as a pathetic croak from the roof of his mouth. He has to clear his throat again. 

“What a liar,” Riki scoffs, following Jungwon’s prior gaze all the way to the front of the classroom. Doubled over with laughter by the board, yn seems to have an aura of gold surrounding her figure. In between rays of sunlight and flecks of fairydust, the way she smiles lights up the whole room like she’s in a fantasy book. 

Barely trying to conceal it, Sunoo stares towards her direction. Ironically, the words that leave his mouth as he does so are, “can you at least try to hide it? You’re too obvious.”

“I can’t believe she can’t tell yet,” Heeseung mutters. 

For some reason, the whole table goes quiet. In the middle of the silence, Jungwon can only hear the clacking heels of their Maths teacher walking around and the soft rustle of papers, amiable chatter as groups begin to complete their assigned project. But a single voice stands out in the crowd. 

Never mind. Jungwon only hears her now. 

Isn’t it ridiculous? How he believed that his initial crush on her would be short-lived, nothing more than an impulsive attraction that would fade once he got to know her. When she walked up to him, however, saying nothing but a simple ‘thank you for sending me notes for yesterday’s class!’, he felt like his heart would race out of his chest. Unfortunately for him, she was too charismatic. 

With a perfect all-kill streak of grades, she’s never gotten a grade below 90. Not a point out of place. It’s the kind of person Jungwon aspires to be, a much better version of himself. Yes, he gets straight As every term and yes he’s been the class president for three years on end, but it’s nothing compared to her level. 

For the past two years, ever since she joined the class with an air exuding and radiating sheer confidence, Jungwon has been trying hard to beat her. Once would be enough for him. He’s been trying so hard to defeat her, however, that he’s forgotten to try to tame his feelings for her too. 

About a week after he met her, the butterflies churning deep inside his stomach were already too much for him. In her locker, silver letters Jungwon begged Sunoo to help him calligraph donned the bottom of an indirect, vague love letter. From your secret admirer. He doesn’t even remember now what he wrote inside, but he does recall many descriptions of her pretty smile and easygoing personality. 

It was only a day later he found out that he had accidentally dropped it in the locker next to hers. Lee Heeseung from the class beside them walked past, a basketball under one arm and the other hand holding the letter and reading it aloud to Riki, walking briskly beside him. In an instant, Riki looked straight at Jungwon across the hallway and facepalmed. 

OPERATION 1 : SECRET ADMIRER : FAILED

wait a minute, what is this? my heart is going lub-dub, just keeps pounding

even from afar, oh, my, gosh! ; pulling me close, you're, my, crush, like a superpower

OPERATION 2 : INDIRECT CONFESSIONS

Daydreams. Flitting endlessly through your mind, like a paradox. It’s impossible to zone out during Biology. How dull you find the zoomed in aspects of all the systems in your body. Sure, you want to pursue something medical-related, but this class just isn’t it. 

“Jungwon’s staring at you again,” whispers your seatmate, Eunchae. She uses her pen to gesture behind you. Two seats diagonal to you both, Jungwon notices your glances his way and pretends to look elsewhere. He’s resting on the palm of his hand, the paper he took out to take notes on completely blank. 

“I can’t believe he’s the class president again,” you mutter with a tinge of bitterness. 

Eunchae sighs. She’s clearly heard enough of your one-sided disliking towards the student leader, and it shows in the way she decides to disregard you. “You don’t have to hate him. He obviously doesn’t reciprocate the hard feelings.” 

Of course he doesn’t. 

You try to hide a triumphant smile. Of course Jungwon doesn’t harbor any hatred towards you. Rather, it’s quite evident in the way he always asks you to be the first player in his team during PE, asks you if you want to group up with him, makes excuses to brush past you in the hallway – he’s always wanted something more than friendship. 

The one time you did agree to do a Korean Language project with him, however, when he came over to record the podcast you had written, all that got done was a bunch of giggles into the portable microphone. Jungwon, admitably, had a good sense of humor. And it, unfortunately, matched well with yours. 

You’re making this more solemn than it needs to be, you think to yourself, biting back a small smile to yourself. Shouldn’t it be a good thing that you’ve got Jungwon wrapped around your finger? 

Spinning your pen smartly, you sit up. Right. You’ve gotten out of many late homework submissions and responsibilities because Jungwon would literally cover for you with visible hearts in his eyes when he talks about you. You know you should feel guilty for exploiting him, but it’s just what a friend does, isn’t it? 

Friend. Another memory fades in. 

“Yahh, you’re so down bad you can’t even let her do her own work,” Sunoo mutters to Jungwon, quietly rearranging the papers. He thinks you’re out of earshot, but you can hear their conversation clearly from your desk. 

Jungwon shrugs his shoulders in the corner of your eye, and you swear he glances over at you for a second. “She’s my friend. Are you trying to say you never copy my homework?” 

Sunoo tsks loudly. “It’s different. She doesn’t need the help! You’ve seen her grades.” 

They divert into a small argument about whose grades are better, but you’re not really listening anymore. Your heart is starting to race uncontrollably, and you look desperately down at your chest. You’re trembling from the fact that Jungwon called you his friend? How pathetic. You bite your lip, squeezing your eyes shut as if juicing your brains of unwanted thoughts. 

But you can’t help but let out a short curse when your heart doesn’t slow down, your cheeks don’t cool off. Only Jungwon wants this. Not you too… 

And so when Eunchae finally gets bored of Bio once again, she leans in and pokes you. “Anyway, you know Jungwon has the fattest crush on you.” 

“Oh really?” you murmur, averting your eyes back to the liver diagram in front of you. Where you’re supposed to label, ‘oxygen-rich-blood’, you’ve scribbled ‘only jungwon’ in illegible handwriting. You pretend to act surprised, hiding the words with the palm of your hand. “He didn’t ask you to say that? Did he? As a prank?” 

Eunchae rolls her eyes. “It’s not a prank.” 

“So he asked you to say it.” 

“...” 

“I see.” You reach into your pencil case and pull out an eraser to wipe away the traces of your daydreams. It’s a good thing you do, because Eunchae suddenly looks over and teases you for falling asleep in lesson when you’re usually such a good student. If only she knew about the homework incidences. If only she knew about the thoughts that run through your head. 

What he’s trying to do is kind of… cute.

OPERATION 2 : INDIRECT CONFESSIONS : FAILED

my heart feels like a giant magnet, everything about you sticks to my heart, boy

we're magnetized, i admit it. this time, i want!

OPERATION 3 : LET'S GET IT!

She’s got to be joking, right? There’s no way… 

“Yeah, idiot, you’re invited to my birthday party. You got a problem with that?” (Name) scoffs at Jungwon, retracting the simplistic black and white invitation card in her hand. “Maybe you don’t deserve this?” 

“No!” He says a little too fast, reaching out to snatch it from her playfully. 

He reads it with a poorly hidden smile. Is he even trying at this point? He’s been on the verge of a proper confession for a while now. Why would he want to hide the fact that he really really really wants her to be his? 

“15 May?” He sighs, feigning disappointment. “Too bad, I can’t make it.” 

Wait for it…

“Really? That’s too bad,” she replies monotonously, walking away without a care. Not the reaction Jungwon was expecting. He releases a breath of air, only now realising that he’s been holding his breath. How boring of her. 

“I was lying!” He calls, smoothing out his school uniform and running down the hallway after her. “I’m definitely coming!” 

She clearly starts to laugh as she runs away from him, yelling, “come or not, it doesn’t matter to me!” 

Jungwon doesn’t give up. With a hand running through his hair, he chases her down the halls. He would chase after her for eternity if he had to. Eventually, he catches up to her with a tap on the shoulder. WIth a mock-annoyed look, she slows down, shoving his shoulder.

“What’s your problem?” She huffs, “Can’t I get a break around here?” 

Jungwon smiles. With just the right amount of delusion, maybe he can convince himself that whatever she’s spouting is just a white lie. Untruths to cover up the truth. She wants him back, he swears!

“You’ll never get a break,” he mumbles, suddenly going shy as he leans in closer. Just like I practiced with Riki. Just like I practiced…

“Annoyi–”

“From running through my mind all day.” 

When Jungwon finally dares to open his eyes (yes, he was so scared he closed them), he’s shocked to see an empty spot next to him. When he looks up and down the hallway, (Name) sticks out her tongue at him, taunting him. The unbothered glimmer in her eyes reveals that she hasn’t heard a thing. 

Once again, Jungwon leaves school with a pit of mild disappointment in his stomach. Not so upset that it hurts like hell, but the wound’s deep enough to leave a scratch.

OPERATION 03 : LET'S GET IT! : FAILED

completely opposite, our type ; you're J and i'm so P

S and N, polar opposites, but that's what pulls us in

INTERMISSION : BABY YOU'RE MY CRUSH

You hear it all.

What would Jungwon say when he finds out, that for a while now, you’ve been wrestling with your own complicated feelings, playing a game of tug of war inside your own heart? Nobody even knows you know. Nobody would even suspect you, of all people, to reciprocate Jungwon’s feelings. And, by this encounter, even Jungwon himself has no idea. 

i'll make it have a green light, girl's gotta have guts. so, let's go let's go, let's go let's go!

don't wanna hide it, the magnet in my heart. gonna follow my feelings and get with you, boy

OPERATION 4 : CATCH SOME FELINES (FEELINGS)

What would Jungwon do for love? Just ask him this one question. He’ll probably lie and tell you he doesn’t know, and doesn’t fall for the traps set out by catching feelings, but it won’t explain why he’s outside (name)’s house on her birthday at 8 in the morning. He could very well have come at 9, an hour before the party starts, but he wants to have some time alone with her. 

To present his gift to her, snugly bundled up in his arms. And to, uh, say some other stuff. 

He looks down at the pearl-white fluffy being, purring contently in his arms. Just a while ago, he got his inspiration for a birthday gift for her. She may have casually brought it up in the midst of discussion for yet another group project, but miniscule things like that stick with Jungwon for ages. 

“I want a cat…” she whines, when their group’s gotten sidetracked from their discussion topic. (what do you think the rate of pet ownership is like in Korea?) “they’re so cute. Oh, even better, a kitten!” 

“Just get one then?” Eunchae rolls her eyes, and Riki hums in agreement. 

“I would. Even my mum wants one. But it’s so much work to adopt one.” 

So much work to adopt one? Jungwon scoffs in his mind. Now take a look at the lengths I’ve gone to for you. And I don’t even know if you like me back. Am I stupid or am I stupid? 

“Yes, Jungwon? Can I know why you’ve summoned me so early in the morning?” Suddenly, the front door opens after many persistent tries to ring the doorbell. “I know you’re excited for my birthday… but this is just weird.” 

She doesn’t notice the kitten squirming in his arms, still rubbing her eyes blearily. She looks so exhausted that Jungwon wants to apologise for awakening her and almost runs away to save himself from the awkwardness. But he stands his ground. This time, he will succeed. 

The chronicles of Yang Jungwon’s confession story. It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

“Happy birthday.” He murmurs softly, daring to take a step closer and hold out his arms. At first, she squints down at the blur of fur in his hands, face smeared with confusion. It’s only when the furry ball lets out a small mew that she gasps and jerks her head back up. “I… I, uh…” 

Seeing her so amazed, with tears gathering in her eyes from the euphoria, he loses track of his words. His mind goes blank. Not knowing whether to continue calmly, or panic and die on the spot, he struggles to speak and feels his cheeks quickly growing with warmth. 

What if, just like we practiced doesn’t reassure him anymore, with the last time he used it as an affirmation turning out to be the greatest embarrassment of his life? Just like we practiced? He’s never practiced to be fluent and smooth. He’s always naturally been that way. He’s never had to fumble for the right words to say. Just like we practiced? When would he ever practice worst comes to worst with Riki? Come to think of it, he probably should have. He can’t handle standing here with such shame any longer. 

“I’m sorry for being so annoying I just really really like you and I don’t know whether you’ll like this gift or not, but I can’t go another day thinking you probably don’t like me back you can just reject me that’ll be better than misleading myself forever and ever…” 

He blurts in a small voice. 

And then, he repeats himself, louder and more confident. Like he usually is. “I like you…” 

“You must be blind, Yang Jungwon,” she says, laughing through the tears. A moment of silence passes as Jungwon tries to comprehend what he’s just heard. Blind? Why? She’s not going to say… “I like you, too?” 

It’s a question. It makes his heart race, but it doesn’t seem like enough.

“You do?” He chokes, his voice failing him. Blood rushes to his ears. “You don’t.” 

“Wait.” She clears her throat and claims, “I got nervous. I do. And it’s not the kitten, I know what you’re thinking…” 

Taking a step back, she receives the kitten into her arms and coos while Jungwon tries to process everything. “Though I’m so surprised, and so grateful. This gift is the most thoughtful thing ever. No joke.” 

She knows what I’m thinking… 

Jungwon frowns and steps even closer. He’s so close and she’s so pretty, teary eyelashes gleaming in the morning sunlight. “So you’ve known what I’ve been thinking, huh?” 

“I have.” 

The hard, challenging tone that seeps into her voice is all too familiar to Jungwon. When she leads him into her house for the second time in his life, all he’s thinking is, what a way to reminisce the moment he fell in love with her. 

“You wouldn’t get it.”

“Oh, but I do!” 

A game of wits, you could call it, is what sixteen year old them are playing. Head to head in number of points, they’re competing for first place. Jungwon hides behind his whiteboard, eagerly awaiting her response. She’s never going to guess what he had in mind. She’ll never write the same exact thing, letter for letter— 

“I know what you’re thinking.” She whispers mockingly, smirking as she reveals her answer while peeking over the top of his board. The answers match up. She’s won. “I know exactly what goes on in your head.”

OPERATION 4 : CATCH SOME FELINES (FEELINGS) : SUCCESS!

no push and pull, gonna run to you ; our chemistry yeah, i'm in too deep now no push and pull, no regrets, gonna zero in on you ; never holding back straight ahead, yeah 

this time, i want!

more of my works >

[certifieduruihater]

wish we got to learn more about april's character outside of when she hangs out with the turtles. maybe part of the reason for this is because the writers wanted to make her a "part of the team," hence the reason why we only ever see her with the turtles, but that logic doesnt hold up when the guys themselves have established personalities on their own. like we know what every single one of the turtles does for a hobby. but i still don't know what april likes to do for fun. she can draw, sure, but is that her hobby? idk. she journaled after their defeat during the invasion, but did she always do that or was that just a one time thing? she never really struck me as incredibly reflective or introspective, either. she's more of a "go out and get 'em" kind of person to me.

i wish we could have gotten to see more of what she's like at school, too. how come she doesn't have more friends? she's a nice girl, and she doesn't strike me as particularly shy. is there some other reason? she signed up for extra credit classes, but why? does she need more credit? is she studious? enjoys school? why was she failing trig? bad at math? bad at trig itself? doesn't want to study? no time to study ever since mutant insanity invaded her life/grief over her father? it's these little questions that i think would have painted a better picture of april's character.

and this is what i mean when i say i wish she had better writing. april is not a bad character. she's not "ungrateful." she's not a "brat." she's not a "b****." from what we do see of her, she's kind and friendly, but can also be incredibly stubborn and a little prideful.

when she blows up at the turtles for getting her dad mutated? completely understandable. the guys got cocky and reckless (which was another point of the episode). they did not prioritize her or her dad's safety. the only reason they were out there was because the turtles insisted, and didnt think of the potential consequences. and yeah. it WAS the turtles' fault that the city got mutated. yes, it was an accident. yes, they were kids. but like i said, they were incredibly cocky, reckless, and arrogant. accept your faves' flaws guys!! and the way mikey delivered the news that it was their fault was...oof. so blasé. not apologetic at all. bro was treating this as a comic book adventure the whole time. no wonder she got mad. i would too, and im an adult. she's 16. of course she's going to say hurtful things in anger (imo what she said in the episode wasnt even that bad. it was understandable, given the situation). of course, it's fine when raph or mikey throw a tantrum (and usually for much more minor reasons), it's fine when donnie explodes in anger, but when april does it, the world ends? april actually blamed herself first, before she found out that it was their fault. her first reaction is NOT to blame others. and part of the reason for her anger was BECAUSE she trusted the guys so much. she spent the episode filled with hope that because of her and her dad's help, they'd be one step closer to taking down the kraang. she didn't even WANT to ask her dad in the first place, considering her dad's been suffering paranoia as a result of being kidnapped from the kraang for an entire season. but she had hope and faith in the turtles as heroes.

she had faith in them, and her entire life fell apart. AGAIN.

that's why when they revealed it was their fault that her dad got mutated, it was a big loss of trust for her. for a whole season april has been going along with the guys shenanigans, agreeing to be bait, wanting to tag along, wanting to be useful. i like this for her character because it shows that she does have a limit. she's not a yes-man for the turtles. she's her own person (which many fans seem to dislike). have fans ever considered that maybe april didnt WANT a crazy life? that she never asked for any of this? that she wanted to be normal? what's wrong with that? and after she and the guys resolve their issues, april even admits that her father's mutation "was an accident, and more importantly, you're my friends. I don't ever want to hold a grudge ever again." she needed that reflection time away from the guys to reach this conclusion.

she endures a whole episode of feeling looked down on by the guys due to a mix of their insensitive comments (raph in particular), as well as her own pride/wanting to be included/not wanting to feel useless mixed in there, sort of snaps at raph ONE TIME (to which raph doesnt even care), and suddenly, she's the devil incarnate. unbelievable.

and another thing: she's not a mary sue. she has flaws. in fact, the fandom actively blows up at her whenever she does display her flaws (pride, stubbornness, willingness to throw herself headfirst into danger). so then what does the fandom want? oh, i know. someone who will bow to the turtles' every whim. someone who has just enough of a character, or can at least pretend to be one, just so long as they don't get in the guys' way. so long as this person doesnt hurt their little pookie-bear. okay tmnt fandom. i see u

so even if we did see what she was like outside of the turtles, i wonder if anyone would even care. after all, this is a show about the turtles. most viewers probably aren't here for april. maybe this is what the writers were thinking? and worse, some people might have even complained about the screentime april would have gotten, saying that it was too much :/

[writingsteph]

Any plans to write soon?

I've written down a lot of ideas I've had, and I've toyed with the next chapter of OSI in my head for months now. Writing however has been the struggle.

Recently though been watching House and fixated a bit on a story where House and Cuddy broke up later on in their relationship and things ended not too awfully. It's years later, Cuddy's daughter is 14 and she finds herself in trouble and at work with her mom. Been writing it down today. here's a snippet:

................................................................................................................

House and Rachel heard and Saw Cuddy before she walked into the glass walled  office. They were quick to hide the ketchup packets they were planning on opening and hiding under certain seat cushions. 

They looked up and sat down as soon as Cuddy opened the door. The woman looked at both of them suspiciously. She was tight lipped and furrowed her brow, pointing at her child first. 

“Mom, I did my missing classwork. I just took a small break to hang out with House.”

“And your break is officially over. Go back to my office and complete at least three more assignments.”

“But I have the whole-”

She pointed towards the door, “Now, young lady. Do I need to have you at my hip to make sure you do as I ask?”

Rachel felt her cheeks redden, “No. I’m going. I’m going.” 

House looked at the girl, “See ya later matey.”

“Bye House.” She mumbled, defeated. The girl walked past her mother with her gaze down, though she still felt her mother’s hawk-like eyes follow her out.

It was only once Cuddy was sure that her daughter would do as she said that she turned her attention back to House, “Please just tell me you didn’t have her break any laws with you.”

“Promise. She was just helping me with a little collegiate bonding.” He walked towards his desk chair and Cuddy leaned on the door frame with a smirk, wondering what it was that “collegiate bonding” meant. “She’s here as punishment so if you are going to undermine me and take her from my office at  least make it-”

“Unfun? How about torturous? Do you prefer physical punishment?” He asked sarcastically.

“House, please stop.”

The man leaned back in his chair, “Relax momma bear. I, unfortunately, could never hurt mini Cuddy. An annoying chink in my studded armor.”

And the woman tried hard not to smile. Their relationship was long over but the remnants of it were very real. And still there. After all, it wasn’t for lack of love that they broke up. 

“So” He exclaimed, “I hear she’s starting her descent into teenage dirtbaghood.”

Cuddy stood a little taller, “She- she talked to you?”

He gave her a small nod. Rachel had talked to him, midway through their shenanigans, right after the stink bomb had been placed in Wilson’s office.

“Skipping her sixth period math class this week, right?”

“Please tell me she told you more.”

“She did, but I can’t-”

“House, you’re really not going to tell me?!” Cuddy’s voice grew louder, “Rachel is my daughter and I-”

“She’s fine! Relax!” He cut her off, “None of the worst case scenarios that are stockpiling in your head are true.”

“I’m not-”

“Oh please. Do you forget we dated? I know you very, very well. Look, she's going to talk to you.” He finally looked towards his ex-girlfriend's face and saw maternal worry etched on her face, “Cuddy.” He called her attention and they locked eyes, “You’re raising a good kid. Moronic at times, but aren’t we all?” Her eye roll was his cue to continue, “She’ll talk to you because she trusts you. But for now, just know she is no worse for wear.”

She sighed, but knew that House would not give in, and oddly enough, his words did make her feel better. A reminder that House had his own twisted way of making life feel easier.

[stjarnaloki]

study hard

Loki x Reader (f) one shot

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35778097

hello! guys I really love writing fics lmao it's so much fun. first of all, I'm unsure of the definition of self-insert and if this qualifies?? point is i'm not sure how I feel about this writing style yet, but it was very fun to try! pretty happy with how steamy this ended up being. so fucking fluffy and romantic. like disgustingly sweet. I don't think I could write a cold Loki if I tried.

Word Count: 2,000

Teaser: college student, vibrator action, dirty talk. short and sweet. soft loki. good girl (just once this time). need I say more?

Warnings: 18+, very nsfw

Here's what I was listening to.

“Mm, so tense, my love,” Loki murmured into your neck as he gently massaged your shoulders.

It was well past midnight, and you were still working. This semester had been one of your hardest, and Loki could tell. He constantly fluttered about when you studied, bringing you tea and asking at least once a day if you were sure there wasn’t anything he could help you with.

“Loki, I’ll be right there, I promise. You can go to bed,” you told him as you highlighted a sentence, but still tilted your neck into his sweet kisses, unable to resist.

“You said that nearly an hour ago, sweet girl,” he whined.

Your head slumped to rest on the textbook. He was right, but you had an exam the next day. Plus, you only had three chapters left -

“You’re not fooling me, love” Loki interrupted your thoughts. “I can nearly hear the gears turning in your head, calculating how many pages you need to read per hour to re-read the whole textbook by tomorrow morning.”

He knew you too well. You sighed and lifted your head to meet his gaze, a sort of hopeless defeat on your face.

“I’m going to fail,” you said. “I hate math.”

He made a tsking sound with his tongue, and took the liberty of slamming the textbook in front of you closed.

“Nonsense. You know that’s not true,” he replied with complete confidence. “And besides, if you fail out of college I get you home with me all day,” he poked as he leaned against your desk, his long, sinewy legs stretched out in front of him..

“Wouldn’t you enjoy that?” you replied, his remark causing the corners of your mouth to turn.

You started to open the textbook again. His quick fingers captured yours, and he made an “uh-uh” sound.

“Darling, you’re exhausted. Come now.”

You let out a little huff of annoyance, frustration, and yes, exhaustion. The exam tomorrow loomed over your thoughts like a dark shadow. You craved something, someone, anything, to take your mind off of it, even for just five minutes.

Almost as if he could read your thoughts, pale fingers crept under your chin and tilted it up to meet a pair of searing green eyes.

“Tell me what you thought about just now, darling,” Loki said slowly. “I saw that. I’d wager it was absolutely filthy.”

You flushed, but didn’t break your gaze. Instead, you just quirked an eyebrow.

“Mm,” Loki growled deep in his throat, bowing his head closer to yours. “I see now,” he planted some soft kisses along your jaw. “You need to relax, don’t you, my sweet girl.” Another kiss sucked at the base of your ear. “But…. you’re too shy… to ask?” He said between kisses.

Your eyes had fallen shut at the first brush of his lips.

Yes, you thought. “Loki,” was all you could whisper, words finally coming to your tongue from your hazy brain.

In one movement, Loki’s hands were grasping your waist, pulling you up from the chair and pulling you to him. His desperation seemed to leak from his very fingertips as they clutched the curve of your waist, willing you closer. Your god was desperate to please you, and you loved it.

“So eager,” you murmured, but your words were quickly stifled by Loki’s tongue as he greedily licked into your mouth.

"Mmhm," he moaned softly in agreement, the vibration from his throat tickling your lips.

Any thought of your exam immediately dissolved. Your body began to melt into his with the touch of his lips, your senses overwhelmed by his woody scent, firm expanse of chest, and the thick black curls that were tickling your forehead. Your mind slipped into heavenly, sex-induced oblivion, but your body had other plans. Your hands moved to stroke his jaw, sharp and tense with desire. You loved the way his cheekbones caught the light, so severe and handsome as he gazed down upon you.

His fingers found yours and brought them to his lips, kissing their pads slowly, his eyes glued to yours the whole time. Then he took one finger into his mouth and sucked, showing you his intentions for the rest of your body.

You felt like you’d forgotten how to breathe as you watched, his eyes piercing yours as he sucked obediently. You had this god wrapped around your finger, literally.

You felt twinges deep within your core, the familiar kind that only the God of Mischief could bring out in you. Your folds began to flood, readying himself for the undeniable pleasure he was about to ravish you with.

“What will I do with you tonight, my enchantress,” Loki whispered into your ear. You shivered with anticipation, your fingers grasping at the buckle of his trousers.

He tsked, removing your hands from his buckle.

“You’ve worked far too hard today, my sweet girl,” he crooned into your neck. “I refuse to let you exert yourself any more tonight,” Loki’s lips murmured against yours. You smiled at his tease. Alright then.

“Tell me where to go and my mouth will follow,” he said, eyes cloudy with desire as he sucked another fingertip.

“Oh, I like this,” you said in response. He grunted and hoisted you up by the hips. You let Loki lift you happily, your legs wrapping around his waist as he planted another deep kiss on your lips.

He slammed you against the wall once he had walked you into the bedroom, pressing his full weight upon your frame and letting his arousal press into your stomach, pulsing with want.

He held you like that for awhile, the arms that gripped your ass barely showing any signs of exertion. He kissed you deeply, and then he kissed you again, as if he was afraid to come up for air. You loved feeling engulfed by him like this, held up by his hands and his tongue. You tangled your hands in his hair greedily, pulling him closer than seemed possible.

“Darling, tell me what you want,” he groaned impatiently, unable to stop his hips from pulsing against yours. Your core twitched at the movement, craving to be pounded into.

You obliged, loving the power you held over him at the moment.

“Make me come on your tongue,” you said, your voice dripping with desire.

Loki couldn’t have asked a better answer. He loved being face-deep in your juices, and his cock twitched against your stomach as he remembered how good you tasted.

“Yes ma’am,” he said with a devilish grin as two sinewy arms whisked you from the wall and tossed you onto the edge of the bed with ease.

In a flash of green light, your sweatpants and panties were in a pile next to the bed, and Loki was pulling you closer to where he knelt at the edge of the bed.

“Mm, no, something’s missing,” Loki said, acting puzzled. “Ah, yes.” Another flicker of green light and your bra and t-shirt disappeared as well.

“Loki!” you exclaimed, flushing at your sudden nakedness. You lay there, fully bare for your god, as his green eyes hungrily took you in. He smiled and ignored your protests, as he conjured some fluffy pillows behind you to prop yourself on

“Shh, darling, you’re fucking exquisite,” he murmured, before licking a hot, sinful stripe up your dripping cunt.

You let out a strangled cry of pleasure at the lack of warning. Loki flicked his wrist again, and your vibrator appeared in his left hand.

“How did you know where I keep that?” you asked him.

“I snoop when you’re not here,” he replied with a shrug, and turned the vibrator on.

Without wasting any time, Loki pressed the soft rubber to your clit, eliciting an immediate Ohh from your lips as the vibrations traveled up into your stomach. They felt like little jolts of pure electricity as he pressed the toy harder into the raw bundle of nerves. Your legs began to shake and your head fell back onto the pillows.

“Fuck,” you moaned.

“Yeah? Does that feel good?” Loki goaded you, clearly enjoying the pleasurable torture he was putting you through. He planted a line of sloppy kisses up your shaking thighs, listening to your whimpers of pleasure and growing even harder himself.

“Fuck…yes…” you panted in response.

You weren’t going to last long.

“You aren’t going to last long, are you, my sweet girl, look at you…” Loki echoed as his green eyes flashed playfully, and he dipped his long middle finger into your quivering cunt,

Your core clenched around his digit, making you gasp.

“Loki…” you said as he removed it tantalizingly slow, admiring your slick that coated it.

“So wet for me,” he looked deep into your eyes as he sucked his middle finger clean, wetting his index at the same time. Without missing a breath, he plunged the two fingers into you.

“Jesus fuck,” you cried out.

Your eyes rolled back with pleasure. The pulsing vibrator and Loki’s fingers fucking you senseless was almost too much. You were going to come undone if he didn’t slow down.

“Lo..ki…holy…fuck….oh…god…” your moans came out high-pitched and breathy.

“That’s it darling, you’re doing so good for me,” he said in barely more than a whisper into your thighs, his tongue darting into your folds once more to replace his fingers.

He lapped at your core, steady and deep, making untamed noises in the back of his throat as he devoured you.

“You’re so delicious” he groaned as he came up for air. His free hand stretched over your bare stomach, resting on your lower belly as it clenched around his tongue. He clicked the vibrator up a few levels, causing you to moan louder than ever. The little pulses building deep within became waves that made your hips buck and twitch as Loki kept fucking you with his relentless tongue.

“Come for me,” Loki growled, and with a final lick into your cunt you obeyed. Your muscles rippled around his tongue as you climaxed, your god’s name tumbling off your lips as ecstasy overtook you.

“Oh, yes, darling,” you heard Loki moan into your entrance as you saw stars before your eyes.

“Fuck”… you screamed. Loki, unrelenting, held the vibrator to your pulsing clit until you physically shook, a second orgasm building before you fully recovered from the first.

“Come for me again,” he said with quiet, sinful determination. Your eyes fluttered open to meet your lover’s, the intimacy of his gaze pushing you to the edge again. You felt lightheaded, panting and shaking, this high building so much faster than the previous. Loki bent over you, resting his forehead against yours, eyes filled with lust.

“Loki”… was all you could breathe.

“Yes, darling. Gods, I love the way you say my name…” he replied. He started to move the vibrator in little circles on your clit, unraveling you.

“Shit,” you cried out and your head fell back from where you rested on your elbows. Loki took the opportunity to kiss down your breasts, his tongue swirling and flicking, your nipples hardening in his mouth.

“Loki…Loki…I- I’m- gonna…”

“Say it, my love,” he said,

“I’m gonna come, Loki,” you groaned, locking eyes with your lover.

“Oh, good girl…” he said.

Another orgasm spilled out of you as you held Loki’s face to yours, breathing each other’s lust. You moaned into his mouth as his hand rested over your lower belly, his fingers feeling the muscles ripple below them. This high was better than the first, and you convulsed as he captured your lips in his, consuming you through your climax.

“I could watch you come for eternity,” he breathed, flicking his wrist again to make the vibrator disappear.

You were still coming back to Earth from your high, but your fingers found your god’s shirt and pulled him on top of you. Tenderness always swept over you once you climaxed, and all you wanted was to hold him close. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him sweetly, enjoying how he held the sides of your face.

“You’re not done yet, are you?” you murmured when you finally broke the kiss.

Loki pulled away enough for you to see his face. His gaze was tender, and his eyes flicked from your eyes to your lips, taking in your glow.

“I’m never done with you, my love.”

thank you for reading! if you liked it and feel like supporting me give it some kudos or a reblog. smooches!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35778097

[kyuuppi]

“You lie to your best friend/crush that you have an OnlyFans just to see their reaction”

Ft. Sugawara; Nishinoya; Tsukishima; Oikawa; Kenma

Pt. 2

A/N: My bias is so obvious here LOL

KARASUNO

↳ Sugawara

➣  You are over at his house, the two of you idly watching a sitcom while browsing your phones and chatting in between; it’s comfortable, as times with Sugawara usually are.

➣  Every time Suga leans in to show you a funny meme on his phone or throws his head back in laughter at a joke from the show, you find your heart skipping a beat.

➣  He is beautiful, basically an angel in your eyes, but he is also your best friend and you don’t think he has any interest in you like that. Not in the way you do. 

➣  That’s how you get the idea to test his feelings. 

➣  Being the troublemaker you are (how else would you and Suga get along so well?) you decide to shake things up by casually mentioning you’re interested in starting an OnlyFans and asking if he thinks its a good idea. 

➣  You expect either of two reactions: either he’ll be as supportive as usual, possibly advising you to be cautious with strangers online like the mother hen he is, proving he only sees you as a friend—or he’ll tell you not to, possible evidence that likes you.

➣  The response you receive is not quite what you were expecting...

➣  Once the words leave your lips his head immediately whips around in your direction, light brown eyes looking at you with a serious expression on his face, something you’d never really seen before. It makes you uncomfortable and you begin to regret all of your life decisions.

➣  Suddenly though, he is leaning into you, his arms coming up to trap you against the couch as you try to back away. Your eyes are as wide as saucers and face completely flushed as he continues to stare you down before speaking.

➣  “Even though I’m your best friend, I’m still a man, you know. You’re being awfully cruel right now.”

➣ You audibly gulp, suddenly feeling light-headed but he keeps speaking, close enough that you can feel his hot breath fan across your cheeks.

➣ “Asking me to watch the person I like show off in front of thousands of other men? Even I have my limits.”

➣ And that marks the day of you and Sugawara’s first kiss. ♡

↳ Nishinoya

➣  Your best friend, Nishinoya Yuu, is notoriously unabashed with his affections. 

➣ The two of you have an interesting relationship—Noya has no qualms with expressing how pretty he thinks you are, borderline flirting with you at times, and you frequently return the favor. 

➣  But you don’t take any of it seriously, of course, regardless of how much you secretly wish it were real. Everyone at Karasuno knows about Noya’s undying dedication to the volleyball club manager, Shimizu Kiyoko, and he confesses his love to her at least twice a day. 

➣ Unbeknownst to you those professions became less and less frequent after he met you and now most of Karasuno thinks the two of you are basically dating

➣ The two of you are at the mall, a frequent hang out place where Noya can look at volleyball gear and you can browse manga at the bookstore, when you get the idea to prank your friend.

➣ “Hey, Noya? I’ve been thinking about finding a way to make more money but I don’t have time for a part-time job so I decided to make an OnlyFans—I already have a few subscribers.”

➣ Nishinoya nearly trips and falls flat on his face. You would have laughed if it weren’t for how he immediately grabs at your shoulders, staring at you with a mix of anger and fear. 

➣ “Absolutely not! No one should be allowed to see your beautiful body like that but me!”

➣ You immediately fluster at his loud declaration, acutely aware of how other customers in the mall are giving the two of your strange looks as they walk by. 

➣ “B-but Noya, we aren’t even dating—”

➣ “Then let’s start dating!” 

➣ And what are you gonna do? Say no?

↳ Tsukishima

➣ Being friends with Tsukishima could be frustrating at times—a sentiment you and Yamaguchi frequently discuss when the blond isn’t around. 

➣ Tsukishima likes to think most things are beneath him and he’s too cool to find enjoyment in activities most other friends enjoy, ranging from mini golf to video games. The man seems content to waste his life away studying and listening to music if it weren’t for you and Yamaguchi forcing him out of his room. 

➣ Naturally, something like a prank war would be something Tsukishima would want no part of—not that that has ever stopped you. 

➣ Usually, your pranks are failures. Either Tsukishima easily figures out what you’re doing before it can happen or he doesn’t give you the satisfaction of a reaction, chastising you for wasting your time pulling pranks when you have a failing grade in mathematics you’ll later beg him to help you study for.

➣ He still helps you though, he’s whipped

➣ Your newest prank however, you feel exceptionally confident in. Not only is it simple to pull off, only relying on your acting kills, but it also might answer your curiosity on whether you have a chance in getting your dearest Tsukki to see you as more than just a friend.

➣ The day you decide to do it the three of you are hanging out in Tsukishima’s bedroom as usual, you working on the math homework Tsukishima forced you to study while he reads a book and Yamaguchi sits in the corner reading a book.

➣ You had already discussed your plans with Yama beforehand, to which his expression looked suspiciously devious, like he knew something you didn’t know, as he proclaimed his support. 

➣ You hear Tsukishima turning a page and decide to speak up. 

➣ “Hey, Tsukki, have you heard of OnlyFans?”

➣ You hold back a snicker as you see Tsukishima visibly tense, his eyes widening behind his glasses for a moment before he relaxes. From the corner of your eyes you can see Yamaguchi smirking behind his comic, watching the blond closely. 

➣ “...yeah, I’ve heard of it,” Tsukishima simply replies. 

➣ “I’ve been thinking about making more money but I don’t have time for a part-time job so my friend suggested it. She said I could make over ten thousand yen a month.”

➣ “I think only the really attractive ones make that much.”

➣ You gasp, thoroughly offended, and Yamaguchi looks mildly annoyed by his friend’s response, already opening his mouth to chastise him for being so mean—but before he can say anything, Tsukishima is speaking again, still looking down at the book in his lap. 

➣ “Don’t do it though.” 

➣ “Why not?” You pout, refusing to look up at him when you speak. 

➣ “...I don’t want the person I like to do those types of things.” 

➣ You nearly choke on your own saliva, head darting up to stare at him in disbelief. Yamaguchi, for some reason, only smiles softly, looking unsurprised by the admission. 

➣ “W-what? You...like me?”

➣ “Oi, shouldn’t you be studying? One more F and you’re gonna flunk out of the class, dummy.”

➣ You’re slightly disappointed by the change of subject but when you notice the soft pink on Tsukishima’s cheeks you can’t help but to smile the whole time you finish your homework.

AOBA JOUSAI

↳ Oikawa

➣ Oikawa is a busy guy.

➣ You were well aware of that before the two of you happened to be paired up for an assignment and got to know each other, eventually becoming close friends. 

➣ Between volleyball practices, tournaments, magazine interviews, and appeasing a passionate fan club, Oikawa rarely has time for himself, let alone another person. 

➣ Despite all of that, you could tell he always made sure to spend time with you, dedicating a few weekends a month to hanging out, just the two of you, and constantly texting you in the times the two of you couldn’t physically be together. 

➣ From an outsider’s perspective, it was almost like the two of you were dating. 

➣ But alas, you know the sad reality is that Oikawa is most certainly not your boyfriend and you have no idea if he has any interest in your like that…

➣ ...Which is why you decide to try to make him jealous one day to push him towards confessing his feelings, if they exist. 

➣ The two of you are at a café, sipping lattes and gossiping about other students when you bring it up. 

➣ “Y’know...I’ve been thinking of making an OnlyFans.”

➣ To your surprise, Oikawa’s eyes seem to light up, his lips curving into a smile of excitement. 

➣ “Wow, really? Maybe I should make one too!”

➣ Oikawa immediately pulls out his cell phone and the color drains from your face as you realize your plan has completely backfired. 

➣ “My fans are going to love this—hey do you think we can do a collab? The two of us in one pic would make us top creators for sure.”

➣ You can only nod numbly with a fake smile at Oikawa’s enthusiasm.

➣ Oh god, you’ve created a monster…

NEKOMA

↳ Kozume

➣ Unless you’re Kuroo, becoming friends with Kenma is a nearly impossible feat. Actually making him want to spend time with you alone, even more so. 

➣ But somehow, you managed to work your way into Kenma’s tightly knit social circle more like a two point line segment of him and Kuroo and your evenings after his volleyball practice are usually spent in one of your bedrooms, playing Splatoon and Animal Crossing until your Switches die or your parents force you to come home for dinner—whichever comes first. 

➣ You love spending time with Kenma, his quiet presence somehow making you feel comfortable—but over time those feelings of ease have shifted into something more akin to nervousness and excitement as you’ve come to develop a crush on the setter.

➣ Every moment with him, watching the small smiles tug at his lips when he wins a match or his cute, frustrated pout when he can’t figure out how to defeat a boss makes your heart flutter and it’s becoming more and more painful to idly sit by without expressing your feelings.

➣ A direct confession, especially to a boy with nearly 0 social skills, is scary, so you want to be sure your feelings are returned before you even attempt to share them. 

➣ Thus, you’ve decided to take Kuroo’s advice.

➣ “Push him into a corner. Kenma will only act when he thinks he has to.” 

➣ You take a deep breath to steel your nerves before you speak, eying him sneakily from behind your Switch. 

➣ “Gamer girls and boys are kind of trendy these days; I’m thinking about starting an OnlyFans to make money to buy more games.”

➣ The only visible response you receive is a slow blink as Kenma continues to play his game, fingers tapping furiously on the keys. 

➣ “Ah...I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

➣ “Why not?”

➣ There are a few moments of silence between you two, the room only filled with the SFX of your games as Kenma seems to finish his round. You recognize the victory music as Kenma pauses to finally raise his gaze to meet your own. 

➣ “It's your body so I can’t tell you what to do but...I would feel really jealous of all your subscribers.”

➣ And just like that, Kenma returns his attention to the video game, unpausing and starting a new match, blissfully unaware of you struggling to calm your racing heart and flushed cheeks. 

[deiliamedlini]

Slipping on Ice

Summary: Link is forced to take his little sister Aryll ice skating at 7am, and they suddenly have to share the rink.

~Modern Zelink AU ~

Word count: 4644

Or read on Ao3!

~~

“Link, you missed the turn!”

Aryll sat forward from the backseat and tried to point frantically at the road, only for the seatbelt to lock and send her backwards. There were several loud clicks, and she closed her eyes in defeat before Link could say a single smart word, because now she was stuck with the seatbelt completely trapping her.

“Can I fix my seatbelt?”

“No. We’re almost there. Suck it up.”

“You’re mean!” she groaned, leaning her head on the window.

Link glanced at her in the rearview mirror before making a U turn into the near-empty parking lot.

He leaned his head back against the hard headrest and closed his eyes, wishing he hadn’t promised his mother that he’d do anything if she let him go to a party over the weekend. He was 18, he shouldn’t even need to ask permission anymore.

“Come on! Come on! Come on!!” Aryll chanted, shaking the driver’s seat with her little hands.

“One day, Aryll, you’ll actually want to sleep in, and then I’ll wake you up to drag you somewhere stupid.”

“Nowhere is stupid!” she countered, whipping her door open and leaning against the window to eerily peer at him.

Glancing at the clock, he rolled his eyes. It was 6:58am and here he was spending the first day of his week-long vacation taking Aryll ice-skating. He double checked his wallet to make sure the 30 rupees his mother had given him were still there and then reluctantly dragged himself from the car.

Aryll was bursting with excitement, bouncing up and down as her plush coat swished with every excited move she made. She pulled her gloves from her pocket—her favorites that had seagulls on them despite the cold—and fiddled to get her fingers in as she stared into the glass door, waiting for whoever to unlock the doors.

Link, on the other hand, was miserable. He was so tired. He wasn’t one of those people who could function with a coffee and just 4 hours of sleep, so he closed his eyes for the next two minutes while leaning against the metal handrail. It didn’t feel cold; everything was cold. Why Aryll wanted to go to an indoor ice rink was beyond him, but he didn’t really care whether it was indoor, outdoor, or on the moon: he didn’t want to go.

“Fix your hat, Link,” she said to him, tapping on her own. She made a twisting motion.

Feeling for the emblem of the Rito Fliers on his knit hat, he pulled it off and retied his sloppily thrown-in ponytail before returning the hat so that the emblem was back in the center.

Finally, the employee came up to the door and stared at Link with equally weary eyes. Link didn’t recognize him, but honestly, he could have been at the party too, given his age and his general disposition that seemed ready to just die a little bit.

He let out a heavy sigh and unlocked the door.

Aryll didn’t even give him enough time to get out of the way before she’d accosted him.

“Hi! One adult and one child please! And we’ll need to rent skates!”

“I’m not skating,” Link muttered, grabbing the rupees. If he could avoid the skate rental and the admission fee, he could pocket the rest of the rupees.

Aryll glared at him as though he’d just told her that he’d killed her best friend. “You’re skating with me, or I’ll tell mom and dad that you didn’t. I’ll call them right now!”

Grimacing, Link handed over the rest of the rupees and told the man their sizes before turning toward Aryll’s smug expression. “No one wants to be friends with a dirty rat, you know.”

“I’m not dirty. And I haven’t told anyone yet, so I’m not technically a rat either.”

“No one wants to be friends with a smart mouth.”

“At least I’m smart.”

He made a face and leaned heavily against the counter until the guy returned with their skates. Link took them while Aryll bolted through the doors and into the rink.

It was freezing.

The chill hadn’t been enough to wake him up, but it was enough to make him a bit more alert. He looked around the deserted room, his footsteps echoing in the silence and making him more self-conscious than he already was about being here. What if Mipha saw him here? Would she laugh at him for his inability to skate? Would she make fun of him for spending the first day of his vacation with his little sister? Would she even notice he was there?

Not that any of that mattered. Mipha was dating Revali.

It was just a crush. On the most popular girl in school. Who was also gorgeous. But he’d never even said three words to her, so why would she care if he was here anyway?

“Hey! Link! Come on! Give me my skates!”

Shaking his head to snap himself out of it, he descended the stairs and tossed Aryll’s skates in front of her.

“Rude.”

“That’s for making me actually skate and blackmailing me.”

“I’ve seen you skate, Link. If you can even call it skating. It’s more like shuffling.”

“Shut up.”

Aryll grinned while she slid into her skates, testing them out before heading to the door onto the ice.

“Hey, wait!” Link called, gesturing to the spot in front of him.

“What?”

Link set his shoes down and knelt on the ground. “Put your foot up. It’s like mom never taught you to tie shoes.”

Groaning, Aryll threw her head back and set her skate against Link’s leg so he could retie it. The force that he pulled at the strings had her jerking back in surprise, and nearly toppling over, but she kept her balance and watched Link as he knotted the laces a few times. Admittedly, it did feel like a better fit when he was done.

“Other one.”

He shook his head as he pulled the loose strings. “Honestly, I thought you knew what you were doing.” He pulled the laces and Aryll swayed again.

“I do! I’m just… not the best shoe-tier.”

Satisfied, he patted the side of her foot. “Okay; go ahead. I’ll be out in a minute. But you know you’re kind of on your own, right?”

“Oh, I know!” she laughed, finally gliding onto the ice with an ease that Link was reluctant to admit he envied.

He put his own skates on slowly, glancing up every now and then to make sure Aryll hadn’t cracked her head open or anything terrible like that. He’d have no idea how to get to her if something happened, but she had been adamant that her classes made her good enough to know how to fall and how to jump and how to glide.

No one else knew how to ice skate, so sending Link was as good as sending anyone else with her. Plus, despite their occasional snippiness, Link would protect Aryll with his life, and their parents knew that enough to trust him alone with her at an ice rink. He’d find a way onto that ice faster than someone could call an ambulance.  

Link let out a deep breath again and set his phone inside his shoe before standing up. It wasn’t as bad as he remembered. He could do this, for sure.

That attitude went out the window the second his first skate hit the ice.

“Oh, shit,” he hissed, already unsteady with one foot still on land. Land? Is that what it was called now?

“Sound carries in here!” Aryll chided, swishing by him tauntingly.

He waited until she was on the opposite side of the rink before clutching the boards for dear life, throwing his other foot over and slipping like was… on ice, he supposed. His feet couldn’t stabilize, and it was all up to his arms to hold him up until he managed to regain his balance.

Sliding his hand along the boards, he pulled himself as far as he could until the plexiglass took over, and he was forced to slide his fingers into the narrow gap for any grip.

He hadn’t lifted his legs yet, but he was where the net would be in hockey, so he let go for a second and glanced back at Aryll. “Better than you thought I could do, huh?”

She skated up to him and then turned herself backwards, judging him with her arms across her chest as she disappeared.

“Critic,” he muttered, trying to lift his foot. He could only manage to get his right off the ground, and he kept trying to dig the front of his skate into the ice to push himself forward, because that’s what everyone in those videos Aryll made him watch with her last night did. He managed a shuffle, and every time he felt himself going, he grabbed for that little spot under the glass to steady himself, and then dragged himself along.

“You really suck,” Aryll said on her next pass.

“Hey! Language! You’re like, five!”

“I’m not five!” she called back. It was a running joke between them because Link needed to do math to figure out Aryll’s age. He always had to subtract six years from his own age to figure hers out, but she still seemed younger to him. Maybe she’d always be that way just because he was the oldest. Maybe, she’d be in her thirties one day and Link would still think she was a teenager.

It took a long time and several taunts from Aryll, but Link made it around the whole rink once, while Aryll had probably circled it nearly two hundred times. He’d gone around again, but he was stopped, watching Aryll practice her jumps when he heard the echo of footsteps entering the rink.

It was a public place, he knew, but they’d gone early to avoid people, not to share.

But wow, any semblance of annoyance he had disappeared when he saw the girl hurrying down the steps with a gym bag slung over her shoulder.

She had long blonde hair that fell over her shoulders, and really that was all Link could see from that distance, but he did have a thing for blondes, and that was all he needed to feel an instant infatuation. But of course, his nerves shot up tenfold because now there was a hot blonde who’d watch him not know how to skate and probably fall on his ass.

He dragged himself around a bit more, trying to just keep his eyes on his feet instead of on her, but he was a sucker and glanced up.

She was watching Aryll with a fond smile on her face before she stood up and moved onto the ice.

Link shivered while he looked her over. She had a loose short-sleeved shirt on, her sports bra straps showing on her shoulders, and she was in a pair of leggings that hugged her a little too perfectly. He groaned to himself. She had to be hot. Physically, not temperature wise because honestly, she looked like she might be pretty cold.

After pulling himself along a little more—and then trying to shuffle his feet rather than drag himself like he was trying to lead a stubborn horse—he needed to pause to rest. So, he watched Aryll and the girl skate around the rink.

The girl neared him as she was making a turn around the rink, like a warmup, and smiled shyly at him when she noticed his gaze on her.

Shit. She probably didn’t want to be watched just as much as he didn’t. And Goddess, her eyes had been so green they’d nearly made him do a double take. But no! No double takes! She didn’t want to be watched!

It wasn’t until he heard Aryll’s loud “Whoa!” that he looked back out, clutching the boards again as he whipped his head and lost his balance. He expected to see Aryll on the ground, but she was just watching the other girl in awe. And honestly, so was Link.

She was spinning, but not like a normal person. Her arms were tucked against her chest and she spun like those people on the television who competed for medals and awards.

Her arms went out gracefully as she ended it like it was no big deal. Like she didn’t look like someone had just perfectly spun a coin.

She smiled at Aryll, and Goddess above, her smile was gorgeous and inviting and why did she have to be here?

The girl then leaped, some sort of near perfect split in the air before landing and sending Aryll another grin.

“How do you do that?” Aryll asked.

“Aryll!” Link called, chastising her. “Let the lady practice in peace.”

“No, it’s okay with me if it’s okay with you,” she said, stopping just in front of him.

Oh, she was so much prettier up close: freckles that scattered along her face, her long hair tied back into a much better ponytail than his own, glowing skin, impressive muscles. And she wasn’t too bad in the… no, he had to keep his eyes up! Only to be captured in her green ones. Expectant.

“What?” he asked, realizing that she was waiting for an answer from him, but entirely forgetting the question.

“I don’t want to talk to her or help her out if you’re not okay with it. That’s all. You are with her, right?”

“Yeah,” he said quickly, looking at Aryll’s clear eavesdropping expression as she pretended to be distracted, though her eager face gave her away. “Yeah, go ahead. She likes all that… spinning stuff.”

The girl bit her lip to stop herself from giggling at ‘spinning stuff.’ Goddess, he was stupid. What a stupid thing to say to someone who clearly knows what they’re doing.

He kept shuffling, trying in earnest now to block out their conversation so he could focus on the simple task of going forward.

His attention was torn between making sure Aryll wasn’t being kidnapped and wondering how he’d ever cross the rink to save her if she was. But all he saw was the girl demonstrating something before Aryll tried it, and the girl’s face lit up as she clapped in encouragement.

The entrance of the rink was back in his sight, so he was less concerned about watching Aryll and more focused on his feet.

Which is why he didn’t see the girl until she was right in front of him.

“You should move away from the boards and look up rather than at your feet. It’ll help.”

Even her voice was gorgeous. Goddess above…

“I’ll fall,” he said simply, his hand still on the board.

“Yeah. You have to fall.”

“You haven’t fallen and you’re doing all those… spins. So I don’t think that logic works.”

The girl skated backwards in front of him. “Do you really think I haven’t fallen?”

“No, of course not,” he muttered. Someone who was that good had to have learned through a few spills over the years.

“Then trust me. Look up and get away from the boards. Stop worrying about falling.”

She skated back over to Aryll, demonstrating something else for his sister to try.

With their attention diverted, he pushed away from the boards and kept his eyes on the wall straight ahead.

And promptly felt his skates slide away from him, wide and uneven, throwing him entirely off balance until he hit the ice with a hard thud.

Knowing that both their eyes were on him now, he tried to get to his feet quickly, but that only ended with him slipping and hitting his chin on the ground. So, face burning with utter embarrassment, he rested his forehead against his arm so he could scream internally for a hot second before trying again.

When he looked up, the girl was crouched down in front of him. “Do you need help?”

He could either: stay on the ice like a flattened pancake, or let the hot girl realize that he really is an embarrassment for being unable to get to his own feet.

Looking back at her, he was struck by how she didn’t smile. She wasn’t laughing at him, or enjoying his pain. She wasn’t pitying him either. She just looked… like this was normal.

“Y-yeah,” he found himself saying, taking her outstretched hand.

He shuddered at the contact of her skin on his. She helped him flip onto his stomach and then to his knees before she pulled him up. “Is this your first time skating?”

Lie, or tell the truth?

Something about her wide, earnest green eyes had him sucking up his pride. “No, I just suck.”

“Everyone sucks at the beginning. Once you get it, you’ll be flying like the Rito,” she laughed, tapping the emblem on his hat. Then she blushed furiously, her whole face turning a shade of pink as she let go of his hand and moved backwards. “Sorry. Personal space issues sometimes when I’m on the rink.”

“No, it’s okay,” he muttered, unable to get his voice any louder. His hands were out to steady himself, but he slipped again, landing on his knee.

This time, she did smile, but it was soft and she held her hand out again.

“Your sister could teach you. She said she’s been taking skating lessons for a while.”

Scoffing harshly, Link shook his head and glanced at Aryll, who was blissfully making loops around the rink, unconcerned with them. But he took her hand again.

This time, she didn’t let go. She shook it. “I’m Zelda.”

He glanced at their clasped hands and raised his eyebrows, shocked that she was even telling him her name. “Link.”

She gave him a tug before letting go of him, letting him coast in the momentum. “So, you… um… go to school around here?”

He looked back at his feet so they didn’t get away from him, but he heard Zelda tsk, so he looked back at her. “Yeah. I’m in my last year at Faron High.”

Her smile broadened. “I’m in my last year at Labrynna!”

Hot, kind, and his own age.

Link took her in, suddenly feeling guilty; as much as he wanted to fall again just so she’d offer her hand one more time, he didn’t know her. “I’m sorry for taking up your time. Thanks for helping.”

“I don’t mind,” she said, glancing at Aryll for a while. “I’m always here, so it’s nice to have a different morning. And I like meeting new people.”

And just like that, the guilt faded away from him. “Always here? You a professional skater?”

“Not professional,” she said, offering her hand again. “I’ve done competitions.”

This time, he didn’t know why she was offering, so he hesitated before getting sucked in by her genuine smile. She tugged him again and he started to glide with her again.

He chuckled and kept his eyes off his feet. “You good at it?” Zelda raised an eyebrow, so he quickly waved his hands. “I-I mean, you looked incredible, but anyone who can move forward deserves a medal in my eyes. So, my comparisons aren’t great.”

Zelda bit her lip and shrugged. “I’ve done well.”

That, Link knew, was code for ‘yes, I’m very good,’ but from someone far humbler than himself.

After checking on Aryll, Zelda nodded to herself as she looked over Link. “You’re doing better already.”

“I am?” he asked, glancing at his feet.

Which, of course, sent him lurching forward until he hit the ice.

Zelda giggled this time, covering her mouth to try to stifle it. “I’m sorry! I threw off your focus!”

Link groaned and made it halfway to his feet before taking her hand this time. Well, he was getting better at falling anyway.

She didn’t let go.

Instead, she held out her other hand. “I can help keep you balanced so you can try moving your feet.”

One more hit, and Link was sure he’d wake up from this dream. Because what was even happening right now?

Well, if this was a dream, might as well go for it. And if it wasn’t… what could he do that’s more embarrassing than he’d already done?

So, he took her hand.

She pulled him with her for a moment before gesturing to his feet. “You should try… you know… skating.”

“Right,” he said, admittedly holding her a little tighter as he tried to push off the ice but stumbled.

She steadied him, but before he knew it, she was clicking her tongue at him again. “Link, stop looking at your feet.”

The sound of his name on her lips had his head jerking up far faster than he meant to. He was like an eager puppy, and he knew it.

Once they’d gone around a little more, Zelda loosened her grip. “I’m going to let go. Keep going. You’re doing really good.”

He blew out some air as she released him, and his arms shot out to his sides to keep him steady. But he was doing it. He was going forward.

He couldn’t help the triumphant little laugh that escaped from his lips.

“So, you’re not hopeless after all!” Aryll said as she skated beside him. “It’s taken him forever to figure this out! I even tried to show him videos yesterday.”

Defensive, Link glared at Aryll. “I tried to do it their way. But I couldn’t figure out the toe thing.”

Zelda raised an eyebrow again. “Toe thing?”

“Yeah, they kept pushing off with their toe or something, but I can’t get it.”

Goddess, Zelda was perfect, because she lifted her foot up to show off her skate while still skimming backwards in front of him. “This thing?” she asked, pointing to a sharp barb looking thing in the front of the blade.

“Yeah, they pushed off with that, but I couldn’t figure out how to do it.”

Zelda laughed again as she set her foot down. “These are for figure skating. The ones you have on are for hockey. No toe pick. They’re different.”

“They are?” he asked, trying—and failing—to get a good look at his own skates. “I thought they were all the same.”

“They’re not,” she said, her cheeks pinching her eyes with her smile. “You know, you’ve been skating this whole time without falling.”

“It’s a miracle,” Aryll muttered.

Link turned to her with a glare. “You’d better watch it, because when I get really good, I’m going to pick you up and throw you across the ice, and you better know how to stick that landing or you’ll end up on your ass.”

“First off, language,” Aryll huffed. “Second off, that sounds fun, so go ahead.”

He scoffed and playfully pushed her, though it did little more than throw him off balance for a moment. And when he looked up, he could see that people were starting to come into the rink quickly.

Zelda sighed and watched them with a sad expression. “I know them. They always just completely take over the ice. It’s a pain.”

Link finally stopped moving when he saw who it was. Mipha, Revali, and their friends were laughing boisterously as they took their seats in the bleachers to get their skates on.

Zelda looked between them and Link. “Do you know them?”

“Kind of. They go to my school, but we don’t talk.”

Zelda stared at them, specifically at Mipha, before muttering to herself. “Wow. She’s really pretty. I’d kill to look like her.”

Looking Zelda  over, Link was glad that Aryll had taken a turn around the rink without them. Because he didn’t think he’d have the courage to say anything if she’d been around as his audience.

“I know a stranger’s opinion isn’t worth anything but… personally, I prefer blondes.”

Whipping around, an incredulous look on her face, Zelda lost her balance and fell back onto the ice. She barely seemed like she noticed, pulling her legs up to her so she could stare open mouthed at Link until she regained her composure.

Her face was bright red, and she couldn’t quite meet Link’s eyes as she laughed to herself. But finally, she worked up to it and her gaze had him pinned.

“Yeah, I do too.”

Link nodded nervously before he started to chuckle and held his hand out to help her up.

She took it as a courtesy, but got up on her own so she didn’t pull him down when he’d spent so long getting his balance.

This time, when their hands lingered too long, the energy between them was palpable, and both of them were blushing.

Aryll skated up to them. “I’m hungry. Can we go to Windy’s?”

Link glanced apologetically at Zelda, and she followed them back to the gate, watching as they both pulled at the laces in much the same aggressively impatient manner. It had her grinning.

“You know,” she said when Link stood up. “I’m here at 7:30 whenever there isn’t school. I’ll be here tomorrow, if Aryll would like some more help.”

Her eyes were distinctively flirty, and Link was beyond glad that Aryll was still too young to recognize it, because she gasped in excitement. “Can we, Link?”

He didn’t look at Aryll, too entranced by Zelda’s blatant invitation. “We’ll ask mom, but if she says you can, I’ll bring you. If not… I might just come here alone.” His lips tipped up, and he prayed that the red in his cheeks and down his neck just looked like it was from the cold.

“No fair! But mom will say yes if you’re bringing me so she can go back to sleep!”

Link didn’t even realize how awake he’d become since Zelda came into the rink.

Zelda pushed a loose piece of hair behind her ears that had come free in her fall. “Okay then. I’ll see you both tomorrow. For lessons.”

Aryll beamed. “Maybe you can come for lunch with us tomorrow?”

Zelda bit her lip and looked over at Link, who was now staring at the floor so she couldn’t see his expression. But she thought he was cute when he was nervous. “Link? What do you think?”

Forced to look up at her, he knew she could see how eager he was to just straight out say yes. It was all over his face, and burning in his eyes. “If you’d like to,” he said carefully. “I have no objections.” He finished sliding his normal shoes back on before standing up.

“Okay. I look forward to it. I’ll see you tomorrow Aryll. Link.”

He stepped forward, a little too close to where she leaned on the board. “Zelda.”

Her mouth dropped into a smile as he used her name for the first time.

Link patted Aryll’s shoulder to lead her up the stairs before taking one more look behind him at Zelda.

They were halfway up the steps when Link pointed to Aryll. “Do not tell mom that there is a pretty girl involved.”

But Aryll smiled. “Your voice carries, Link.”

Spinning around on the stairs, he saw Zelda beaming as she giggled. But she—thankfully—pushed off the board and twirled once before skating away, her eyes on them until she no longer could see where they stood.

And when Link glanced at Mipha as they passed, and he felt that his infatuation with her had faded to near nothing from the time he’d gotten out of the car to the time he got into it once again. He knew he was doomed. because the only one on his mind now was Zelda.

He’d never been more excited to set an early alarm.

[thewidowsghost]

Daughter of the Sea - Chapter 1

So, I started this on my Wattpad, and if figured I'd just put it on here! Just tell me if you want me to add you to the taglist!

Percy's POV

My name is Percy Jackson.

I am twelve years old. I'm a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York, and my sister, (Y/n), taking online schooling at home.

Am I a troubled kid?

Yeah. You could say that.

I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan—twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.

I know—it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were.

But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.

Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.

I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.

See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course, I got expelled anyway. And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim. And the time before that...Well, you get the idea.

On this trip, I was determined to be good.

All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.

Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.

Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwiches that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.

"I'm going to kill her," I mumble.

Grover tries to calm me down. "I'm okay. I like peanut butter -" He dodges another piece of Nancy's lunch.

"That's it." I start to get up, but Grover pulls me back to my seat.

"You're already on probation," he reminds me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."

Mr. Brunner leads the museum tour.

He rides up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.

It blows my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.

He gathers us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and starts telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.

Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.

From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.

One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."

Mr. Brunner keeps talking about Greek funeral art.

Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickers something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turn around and say, "Will you shut up?"

It comes out louder than I meant it to.

The whole group laughs. Mr. Brunner stops his story. "Mr. Jackson," he says, "did you have a comment?"

My face is totally red, I think. I answer, "No, sir."

Mr. Brunner points to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"

I look at the carving, and feel a flush of relief, because I actually recognize it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"

"Yes," Mr. Brunner says, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because..."

"Well..." I rack my brain to remember. (Y/n) would have known the answer. She was nuts for this kind of stuff. "Kronos was the king god, and —"

"God?" Mr. Brunner asks.

"Titan," I correct myself. "And...he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters—"

"Eeew!" says one of the girls behind me.

"—and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continue, "and the gods won."

Some snickers from the group.

Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbles to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"

"And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner says, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"

"Busted," Grover mutters.

"Shut up," Nancy hisses, her face even brighter red than her hair.

At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.

I think about his question, and shrug. "I don't know, sir."

"I see." Mr. Brunner looks disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"

The class drifts off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.

Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."

I knew that was coming.

I tell Grover to keep going; then I turn toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?" Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go—intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything. "You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner tells me.

"About the Titans?"

'"About real life. And how your studies apply to it."

"Oh."

"What you learn from me," he says, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."

I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!" and challenged us, swordpoint against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C– in my life. No—he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.

I mumble something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner takes one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.

He tells me to go outside and eat my lunch.

The class gathers on the front steps of the museum, where we can watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.

Overhead, a huge storm is brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figure maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.

Nobody else seems to notice, though. Some of the guys are pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit is trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds isn't seeing a thing.

Grover and I sit on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school—the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.

"Detention?" Grover asked.

"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean—I'm not a genius, not like (Y/n). She seems to know everything."

Grover doesn't say anything for a while. Then, when I think he is going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he asks, "Can I have your apple?"

I don't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.

I watch the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and think about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sit. I hadn't seen her or my sister since Christmas. I want so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. Mom and (Y/n) would hug me and be glad to see me, but Mom would be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I couldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.

Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized café table.

I am about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appears in front of me with her ugly friends—I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists—and dumps her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.

"Oops." She grins at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles are orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.

I try to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I am so mad my mind went blank. A wave roars in my ears.

I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy is sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"

Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.

Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see—"

"—the water—"

"—like it grabbed her—"

I don't know what they were talking about. All I know is that I was in trouble again.

As soon as Mrs. Dodds is sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turns on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey—"

"I know," I grumble. "A month erasing workbooks." That wasn't the right thing to say.

"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds says.

"Wait!" Grover yelps. "It was me. I pushed her."

I stare at him, stunned. I can't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.

She glares at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.

"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she says.

"But—"

"You—will—stay—here."

Grover looks at me desperately.

"It's okay, man," I tell him. "Thanks for trying."

"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barks at me. "Now."

Nancy Bobofit smirks. I give her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare. Then I turn to face Mrs. Dodds, but she isn't there. She is standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.

How'd she get there so fast?

I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.

I wasn't so sure. I go after Mrs. Dodds.

Halfway up the steps, I glance back at Grover. He is looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner is absorbed in his novel.

I look back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She is now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.

Okay, I think. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.

But apparently, that wasn't the plan.

I follow her deeper into the museum. When I finally catch up to her, we are back in the Greek and Roman section.

Except for us, the gallery is empty.

Mrs. Dodds stands with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She is making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.

Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze as if she wanted to pulverize it...

"You've been giving us problems, honey," she says.

I do the safe thing. I reply, "Yes, ma'am."

She tugs on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"

The look in her eyes is beyond mad. It was evil.

She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me. I say, "I'll—I'll try harder, ma'am."

Thunder shakes the building.

"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."

I didn't know what she's talking about.

All I can think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.

"Well?" she demands.

"Ma'am, I don't..."

"Your time is up," she hisses.

Then the weirdest thing happens. Her eyes begin to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretch, turning into talons. Her jacket melts into large, leathery wings. She isn't human. She is a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.

Then things got even stranger.

Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheels his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.

"What ho, Percy!" he shouts and tosses the pen through the air.

Mrs. Dodds lunges at me.

With a yelp, I dodge and feel talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatch the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hits my hand, it isn;t a pen anymore. It is a sword—Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always uses on tournament day.

Mrs. Dodds spins towards me with a murderous look in her eyes.

My knees are jelly. My hands are shaking so bad I almost drop the sword.

She snarl, "Die, honey!" And she flies straight at me.

Absolute terror runs through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swing the sword.

The metal blade hits her shoulder and passes clean through her body as if she was made of water. Hisss!

Mrs. Dodds was a sandcastle in a power fan. She explodes into yellow powder, vaporizing on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes are still watching me.

I'm alone.

There is a ballpoint pen in my hand.

Mr. Brunner isn't there. Nobody is there but me.

My hands are still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.

Had I imagined the whole thing?

I walk back outside.

It had started to rain.

Grover is sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit is still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she sees me, she says, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."

I answer, "Who?"

"Our teacher. Duh!"

I blink. We don't have a teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I ask Nancy what she is talking about.

She just rolls her eyes and turns away.

I ask Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.

"Who?" he asks, but he pauses first and he wouldn't look at me, so I figure he was messing with me.

"Not funny, man," I tell him. "This is serious."

Thunder booms overhead.

I see Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book as if he'd never moved.

I go over to him.

He looks up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."

I had Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.

"Sir," I ask, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"

He stares blankly at me, "Who?"

"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."

He frowns and sits forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"

Word Count: 3159 words

So yeah, this is the first chapter of this book.

Not much (Y/n) yet, but we'll get there.

Love y'all!              Kaitlynn ❤️😍

[iwaisa]

bnha boys crushing on someone with a cat quirk

pairings: kirishima x gn!reader, shinsou x gn!reader

warnings: none ! just fluff :))

a/n: i’d like to think that if i were in the bnha world, my character would have a quirk like the cheshire cat, so i brought it to life (๑>◡<๑) this is also supposed to be situations based off mannerisms of cats !

part 1 | part 2

► now shuffling...

yawning & showing fangs / sneezing

this baby knew better than to assume anything about you but oh BOY was he whipped after seeing you fight bakugou

you were so close to defeating him, but bakugou’s anger took over resulting in you walking away with multiple bruises and a broken wrist

aizawa told kirishima to take you to recovery girl and he happily obliged

the whole trip there he kept telling you how cool you looked and how amazing your quirk is

“you’re so adorable, but so powerful! it’s so manly!”

your face quickly grew hot, but you brushed it off when you pondered if he even meant the compliment in that way

fast forward a few weeks, and you, kaminari, sero, mina, and kirishima were still awake in your dorm doing homework

sero was already fast asleep on your floor, and bakugou gave up on teaching you guys and stormed off to his room

it was probably around two in the morning when you felt the coffee you drank wearing off

you yawned, not even bothering to cover your mouth since you believed the other three were asleep too

“l/n, your fangs are so cute!”

you snapped your head to look at kirishima, who was resting his head on his arm, turned towards you

“o-oh… thank you,” you smiled bashfully

he didn’t say anything else, only continuing to watch your every move as you finished your math sheet

a few minutes later, you felt a sneeze coming on

kirishima watched with wide eyes as you let out possibly the most adorable kitten sneeze he’s ever heard

“woah…”

you turned towards him once more, tilting your head

“i-i mean! i know it’s a sneeze, and it’s kinda weird to compliment it, but that was the cutest thing i’ve ever heard. dang, you’re just so cute.”

if your face wasn’t hot before, it sure was now

you two just stared at each other for a while before he finally realized what came out of his mouth

“sorry! gosh, that was really unmanly of me. i probably should’ve told you how i feel before saying things that might make you uncomfortable. l/n, i really like you. i think you’re so cool and awesome, not to mention totally cute. if you don’t feel the same, i’ll be a man about it and continue be your friend. no matter what, i’ll be here for you,”

you probably looked extremely creepy as you smiled from ear to ear

but you didn’t care

instead, you threw yourself onto him for a hug and whispered into his ear that you liked him too

brushing up against him

shinsou tried to spare you from talking to him, so he ignored you for the first few days

he believed that someone as adorable as you shouldn’t taint your image from talking to someone like him

however, that plan quickly came to a sudden end when you approached him after the sports festival to tell him how awesome he was

“y-you think that was awesome? you don’t think i have a villainous quirk?”

he was completely dumbfounded as to why you of all people were telling him that he was amazing

“yeah, i think you’re awesome! and no way is your quirk villainous! you would make an amazing hero one day.”

despite you calling him hinsou since you couldn’t exactly read what his name was, he corrected you while trying to brush off the red tint beginning to make its way onto his face

you apologized profusely, calling yourself dumb for butchering his name

he assured you that it was okay, while laughing

it had been a few months since your first encounter with shinsou, and the two of you continued to have regular meetings

the two of you began eating lunch on the roof of the school, since shinsou wasn’t one for being in a crowded area

being a cat, you weren’t one for crowded areas either, opting for a more peaceful and serene setting

this time was different though

shinsou has had enough of his pining for you and decided today was the day he would hand you a letter with all of his feelings written on it

“d-do you really feel this way? towards me??”

“no. i like a different l/n f/n. of course it’s for you idiot.”

he grumbled, turning away from you to continue picking at his rice

you kept staring at him, dumbfounded that he actually liked you back

you moved closer to him and pecked his cheek

before he could say anything, the bell rang

before walking to your next class, you accepted his feelings

as you two walked down the hallway, you continuously brushed up against him, even rubbing your head against his shoulder

before dropping you off at your class he asked you why you kept brushing up against him

“o-oh, i don’t mean to come off as controlling or anything! but in cat language i guess that means that i’m claiming you as mine… it’s weird i know-“

before you could spiral into a more self-deprecating rant, he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips

“there. i’m claiming you as mine too.”

bonus!

it was about eleven in the morning when you began to wake up

as a cat, you slept in pretty late on weekends when you didn’t have an alarm to wake you up

it was also partially because you had a tough training session yesterday

slipping out of your room, you made your way to the kitchen, hoping to have a little bit of breakfast

you greeted kaminari, mina, and sero as you walked into the common room, not even noticing the mischievous glances the three were giving each other

you fixed yourself a bowl of cereal, not even realizing that kaminari had snuck into the kitchen

you began walking back to where your friends were sitting, but as soon as you turned around you jumped and stayed glued to where you were standing

you stared wide-eyed at a cucumber that all of a sudden appeared in front of you

the three of them burst out laughing as they watched you staring at the cucumber, with mina recording the whole thing on her phone

“HEY! it’s not my fault it all of a sudden appeared in front of me! stop saying i have a phobia of cucumbers!”

a few days later, mina ran up to you showing the video she posted on tiktok of you

you rolled your eyes sighing, “you actually posted that? wow thanks,”

she pointed to the number of views on it and your eyes nearly popped out of your skull as you noticed the 2.1 million views the video got

[sinisterlyhan]

03. bang chan ; 2chan / 5189 words

public sex, unprotected sex, crempie(ish...?), unprotected sex, female reader, it’s a quickie but i didn’t really write it like one

parts: 01 ; 02

a/n: my 1 whole minute google search looking up how to say changbin & chan 😭 also, ahh, this took a surprising turn.

1:00 pm, statistics class, and you absolutely dreaded it.

chan walked beside you, his eyes darting between you and the almost empty hallway of the math and science building. he looked somewhat nervous, but not nervous enough he appeared timid and shy.

according to his previous research, one that lasted for about two weeks, you would be getting grumpy starting right about now. and so far, he was able to conclude the reason behind your mini-bursts of temper tantrums: seo changbin.

ever since that night at the party, the one where you hooked up with changbin and never told him who you were, you had been avoiding him.

not in a sense where you were avoiding him in hopes that he would leave you alone because he would never look for you for anything. you were avoiding him in an attempt to keep yourself from thinking about him because he has been all you could think about.

you actively ignored his existence. not looking at him despite wanting to spare a glance during a boring lecture, not walking the path he does so you wouldn't get a chance to be near his vicinity, not thinking about him when you were touching yourself at night and trying to relish in the feeling of having him inside you.

it felt like an obsession, almost. it was unbelievable how much changbin has consumed you with just one night. if you close your eyes, you could still feel his plump lips on your neck and his bulky arms under your fingers. and you hated that, you really hated that. you thought getting off with only your vibrator was hard before, but oh, nobody prepared you for this.

you didn’t know changbin would be that good, and you had no idea that your preset fondness for him would take that secret affection, along with the sex, to a whole new level.

“he–“

“this is all your fault!” you huffed before chan could finish his sentence, snapping your head to his direction and cranking up your neck slightly to look at him.

“yes, i’m sorry.” chan nodded and clamped his mouth shut after the defeated apology.

he had no plans to argue with you, he tried that the first time you decided to get unreasonable with him and he completely lost the argument with all of his dignity lost. it was truly one of the worst arguments you two have had in the many years of your friendship, at least for him it was the worst because all he did was stand there while you brought up the weirdest thing to insult him.

he could remember everything, each one a little arrow to his poor, fragile heart. how he’s an idiot, how he’s the worst best friend, how you hate him for dragging you to the party that night, and possibly the funniest of it all—that his dick is small.

that didn’t hurt him as much as the other ones did because he knows you were wrong. and you would know if you had just asked him politely during that dry spell you had.

“gosh, i can’t stop thinking about him at all! this is crazy, i hate it!” you hissed as you ran a hand through your hair, scratching your scalp and pulling at your roots angrily before letting your hand fall to your side. “i literally cannot go one night without–ugh!”

chan looked over at you, his brows raised faintly at your dramatic reaction.

he was in disbelief when minho picked you and changbin back in the party, and he definitely did not miss the mischievous glint in minho’s eyes when he made direct eye-contact with him after he locked both you and changbin in the closet.

minho looked playfully spiteful, like he knew the secret chan was hiding layers beneath his opened heart, like he knew chan’s affection for you went beyond what one would call a best friend.

and he was in even more disbelief when the party was over and he was driving you home, then you started to really open up to him about everything that happened in the closet. your explicit words filled in the noises he heard from outside (those damn noises! the door banging and your scream of changbin’s name!), giving him a vague image of you fucking a man he had replaced his silhouette with.

it had taken him all the strength he has not to show you how turned-on he was the entire car ride. even though you just kept sighing about how good his friend was, which was ultimately weird but he thought he was more jealous and annoyed than weirded out. and he was so sure he could do better if you just give him the chance to prove it.

he wasn’t able to ask you so straightforwardly back then, considering how smitten you were with changbin just because of having sex with him once. granted, you did use to think of him during your midnight rendezvous, which was a detail chan really wished he hadn’t known.

he enjoyed nothing about this aside from the fact that you had asked him to help you avoid changbin so he would never find out you were the girl in the closet.

and chan did exactly that, happily as well. he has beaten it out of changbin’s head that you were not a candidate of choice and he wouldn’t have to take another glance at you. lo and behold, changbin really didn’t, and that has caused you so much distress because you wanted him so bad.

and chan was forced to hear you complain about it, it was so damn infuriating for him. he couldn’t take one more second of you whining about how good changbin fucked you that night.

“what if i make you forget him?” chan blurted that out far too quickly for his mind to fully process his words. by the time he was able to understand what he said, though, instead of fussing over it in embarrassment, he only turned to you with all seriousness in his eyes.

you took a moment to take in his insinuation. you wondered what he meant by making you forget changbin; did he mean he would take you out on a fun date? like somewhere in the middle of a roller-coaster ride where you’d scream so hard at the thrill of a drop that you temporarily forget about changbin. or did he mean something else? something else that still involves you screaming so hard that you’d forget about changbin.  

“i can make you forget him,” he pressed on suddenly, taking a closer step towards you.

you stumbled back in shock, your eyes widening in panic amusement as you looked up at chan. you could only find a pair of intense eyes staring back at you, anticipation and desire burning behind those hooded brown eyes. they shone so prettily, you couldn’t look directly into them, so you glanced away as a nervous giggle left your lips.

“chan, wh–what are you talking about?” you stuttered, your eyes shaking at the proximity he closed off between you two by taking another step closer.

“you know what i’m talking about,” he hushed, leaning closer to your ear. “you don’t have to beg for it, just thought i could have helped.”

you shivered at those familiar words, your mind bouncing back to the conversation you had with him before the closet game started. so your assumption was right, he was aiming for the second option, he was talking about sex. your mind zapped blank at the mere idea and you found yourself losing your voice when you opened your mouth to speak.

chan, chan… it would probably be a phenomenal experience—fuck, hold on, no, wait. chan has been your best friend for years. he was always so kind and patient with everyone he meets, and he was possibly one of the hottest men you’ve ever met in your life.

it was a miracle that he was your friend at all, so would you really run the risk of destroying this friendship just because you were horny and was trying to get over somebody else?

“nothing is going to happen to us, (name).” as if reading your thoughts, chan was quick to mutter to your ear words of reassurance. “i asked you for this. if anyone should be scared of losing something, it should be me.”

your sight was blurring the more he leaned close to you. his nose touched yours at some point, and he nudged forward to he put pressure against the bridge. your lips were almost touching, you could feel his breath reverberating around the entrance of your lips and your skin went cold.

“only twenty minutes until class starts, (name),” he said, pulling away slightly so he could look into your eyes better. “let me help you. you will look into changbin’s eyes later and only see me.”

oh, that sounded very tempting. but surely, the most tempting aspect of this would be the man standing in front of you. and you wanted to.

before you could speak, a small commotion erupted at the start of the long hallway. a group of students walked past, chatting and laughing amongst each other. classes were slowly getting dismissed one by one, and soon there’d be more people scattered along the hallway, waiting for their next class. if you wanted to start, you’d better start now while you could still make some noises.

“but where are we gonna–“

chan flashed you a small grin. that sounded like an agreement to him but he would definitely be asking for it more down the line. for now, he grabbed onto your forearm and looked up, his eyes scanning the hallway for the room numbers.

stopping when he found your statistics class, he hummed in satisfaction when he saw that the room was pitch black inside, and he quickly dragged you along with him.

he pulled you inside the dark classroom and left your side so he could close and lock the door. as soon as he turned around, he reached his hands out to your face and moved closer to you, simultaneously tugging you towards him.

you stumbled, your hands flying up to his arms to steady yourself just as your lips crashed against each other.

your heavy breaths resonated with each other as you kissed each other fervently. he shrugged off his backpack and let it drop to the floor, same as you slowly let go of your bag to place it near your feet. none of you wanted to let any interruptions stop whatever you were doing, your eyes closed and lips hot against each other.

his calloused hands found their way to your jaw carefully, and he held your head in place so he could take the lead. he could feel your fingers slowly dragging across his back, trying to find something to hold or to tug on. they moved up, running along the back fo his neck to his head, and you flipped off his cap so you could thread your hand through his hair.

oh, this was nothing like you have imagined before, simply because the real thing could never compare to the vivid scenarios you overplay in your head. his lips were so soft, much like changbin’s small but plump once. but chan felt to have much more control over the situation, understandably as he wasn’t blinded like before.

chan slid his hands off your jaw after a while, gliding them down your body and stopping at your waist instead. then he walked, slowly bringing you backward until the back of your thighs hit the teacher’s table located in the middle. he squeezed the side of your waist when he heard you groan, and his arms flexed lightly as he hoisted you up to sit on the edge of the table.

finally getting the willpower to pull away from you, chan panted heavily to compensate for the long minute of him seemingly withholding his breath. he was kissing you, someone who he has been so fond of for way too long.

as soon as his lips touched yours, that was all he knew how to do; he couldn’t even remember to breathe through his nose, he just focused so hard on mapping out the shape of your mouth.

“are you okay with this?” he asked, his voice low and hoarse.

he tilted your face up, his thumb caressing your cheek. you looked at him, your heart palpitating against your chest in newfound excitement. and he was staring straight back at you.

there seemed to be a mutual understanding of this situation; his tenderly fond gaze revealing a silent confession, the rubbing of his thumb at your skin spilling an unspoken promise that he would take good care of you, that you wouldn’t have to worry at all.

it made your heart swirl into chaos. it was a different feeling than when you were stuck in the closet with changbin. back then you were excited to be able to have sex with someone, albeit the person is one of the many people you have a crush on. but you couldn’t see changbin then, nor did you know him the way you know chan now.

the butterflies flew more rapidly in your tummy and the flutter of their wings wafted against the skin of your ribs crazily. it sent you tingles all over your body, you never wanted to be away from chan.

“i think we should be quick, we don’t have much time left until class starts,” you mentioned, looking pointedly at him.

chan huffed out a laugh in response, his head dipping low as his eyes quirked into crescent moons. “well, thank god you are wearing a skirt today then,” he muttered, running his hand up your bare thighs and disappearing under the fabric of your pleated skirt. “save us the fuss of having to take things off.”

“i do have safety pants on, in case you don’t realize that,” you hummed, rolling your eyes slightly before you felt his hand reach all the way up to the waistband of your skirt.

his fingers tugged through the band as he tried to pick out the hem of your safety shorts, and you helped him out by shifting your weight when he pulled it off your legs with a swift yank. it dropped to your ankles and you arched your feet to shake them off to the ground, flinging them a little farther away from where he stood.

chan pushed you down onto the empty desk, an amused smile on his face when you yelped in surprise, your legs immediately spreading apart to let him scoot closer to the table. his fingers danced along your inner thigh before they finally reached your clothed heat, his hand slightly trembling in enthusiasm when you sighed at the featherlight touch.

his mind blanked out for a moment there, needing some extra time to process how this was really happening. albeit not at the most ideal location and he was limited by a ticking timeframe, being able to get so intimate with you was basically a dream come true to him. his yearning for you was finally going to be satiated for once.

“god, who would have thought i’d be doing it in my stats classroom–mm, woah, okay,” your sentence got cut off mid-way when you felt chan press his thumb against your clothed clit, pressing a jolt into your body and causing your brain to short-circuit quickly.

you laughed slightly in embarrassment, finding your reaction less than appealing despite it being more than he could ever ask for. but your laughter could only last for a brief moment before a blissful sigh left your lips. your eyes squeezed shut at the feeling of him moving your pantie to the side and slipping his middle finger inside.

oh, that was exactly what changbin did. flashes of the dark closet met your eyes as chan pumped his fingers in and out of your heat, flashes you felt guilty thinking about at a time like this. the man hovering above you wasn’t changbin, you had to remind yourself, and you opened your eyes just so you could look up at chan.

his hair was tousled from when you shifted your fingers through them when you kissed, and his eyes were focused on your every movement. the way your features scrunched and contorted with each pump of his finger, a prideful sight for him to look at until you suddenly opened your eyes to look at him. there was a moment of solace, just a brief moment, and then his hand slowed down as realization hit him.

“you’re thinking about him,” chan muttered.

you sighed, giving him a timid nod to confirm his assumption. and that—well, that was a new kind of soreness he has never felt in his chest before. he wanted to explode; the unreasonable anger stuffed inside of him, the jealousy churning in his chest that his friend not only got to fuck you first but he stayed in your head every single fucking day, the sore loser in him that so firmly believed that he could do so much better.

chan didn’t want to take it out on you, he really didn’t. but oh heavens, he was so tired of associating changbin with you.

“that’s fine,” he said with a nod, pulling his finger out of your cunt and reaching for his pants. he released the button and unzipped it, shrugging it off his thigh quickly before proceeding to tug his boxers down just enough for his cock to spring out. “you won’t be thinking about him when i’m finished with you here.”

if the setting was different, he would surely have his way with you however he wanted. he would make you squirm for much longer, and he would make you beg like a fucking whore for him before he decided you are good enough to have his dick pound inside of you. but this would be quick. this has to be quick, unfortunately for chan.

he was rather confident in himself, though. he would like to think if changbin could do it blind-folded, he could definitely do it with both of his eyes open. not to mention, being able to watch your features change in the face of pleasure would do nothing but add to the filthy lust burning through his veins.

he could fuck you better.

he will fuck you better.

you didn’t miss the soft beat of his eyes matching up with yours after he aligned himself at your entrance. his gaze wavering, waiting for you to give him a cue to go. your eyes grazed past his shoulder at the door, a sense of fearful thrill bursting like fireworks in your stomach when you realize how easy it would be for people outside to hear you, and how they could look inside the window and see you two if they angle their head a certain amount.

this was exciting. nothing you have ever done before and nothing you imagined you would ever do, yet here you were with chan waiting above you, your wetness clenching at nothing impatiently.

“fuck me, chan,” you whispered, your eyes returning to him.

his heart leaped at those words, far too excited for his own good. he smiled, leaning down to your face before he huffed, “i was planning to.”

your legs twitched when he inserted himself in quickly, the stretch fast and thus, painful. but the time was ticking, you knew, so you didn’t blame him for not taking his time. the slickness in your hole was doing a fantastic job of helping him glide in and out of you smoothly, and chan had been planting butterfly kisses along your neck in an attempt to distract you from the pain of adjusting to his size.

your cunt was tightening around him, a sensation so pleasurable that it overwhelmed his senses and almost drained his sanity clean. you felt good, and the fact that you were you, the fact that he has been secretly in love with you for so long just made everything even better than he could ever imagine.

chan couldn’t think of anything else. his shameless mind only knew he wanted to keep going, he wanted to keep feeling you, he wanted to kiss you everywhere and make you feel so great he occupies your mind for the rest of the day. and he was giving in to the pleasure, leaning into the bliss and abandoned all that he has ever known to pound into you relentlessly.

the squelching sound of your pussy haunted every punch to your hole, your heavy breathing slowly turning to desperate little moans. your hands were clutching his arm just for the sake of having something to touch, feeling his prominent muscles flex under your skin, and letting it turn you on even more. and your legs flailed about until they finally wrapped around his hips and pushed him closer to you.

“ahh, chan–fuck!” you gritted out, his cock sliding along your walls quickly and creating never-ending friction. each time his tip reaches a deeper end of your hole, you feel a burst of fluttery feeling across your body. chan kept going, hitting the spot once, twice, three times until he suddenly thrust into you hard, and you let out a loud, chocked moan.

chan’s lips quirked up automatically, feeling his ego boost with that loud moan you let out. but instead of showing you his smugness, he clamped a hand over your mouth tightly and glared at you. your eyes widened as your brows furrowed, not confused as to why he shut up but annoyed that you couldn’t let out any noises at a location like this.

“you better keep quiet, baby,” he warned, thrusting into your harshly to test out his grip. your sudden moan was a muffled, but from the looks of your eyes, he could tell it would have been loud without restrictions. “you don’t need the whole floor finding out what we’re doing in here.”

you hummed out a whine, nodding obediently at him as your hands flew up to grip his hand. you didn’t try to move his hand, you let it stay over your lips and tried to navigate his hand until he gripped the sides of your jaw. chan raised a brow at you, bewildered but not opposing to making sure you shut the hell up for the remainder of this session.

his hips continued to roll against yours, and you found yourself bucking your hips up for more. the knot at your abdomen was twisting uncomfortably, feeling like it wanted nothing but to burst, so your legs tightened around his hips and kept drawing him closer to you, even though chan has physically no more space to move forward.

he kept fucking into you, his pace only picking up more and more when he could hear students shuffling and talking outside the door. time’s ticking, he has to finish off quickly now.

“shit–“ chan groaned under his breath when you suddenly clenched around him, your high approaching unexpectedly.

being unable to hear your voice sure didn’t give him any hint of when you were reaching your limit, and he was too drowned in the sensation to feel your body language. the way your legs pushed at his back, the way your hands continuously tightened around his wrist, the way your back kept arching off the desk. he couldn’t pick those up until he felt it suffocating his cock inside of you.

and his own high was racing to the finish line as well, the way your walls felt all warm and rough around him was unlike anything he has ever felt. no amount of toys could help him relish in a feeling like this, no amount of people could make him feel the way he was with you now.

it has to be your body, it has to be your cunt, it has to be you.

your whined against his palm when chan rammed into you at an even quicker pace, his lips touching your neck and you could hear him sucking in his breath. your hands flew up to the edge of the desk where you grabbed on, your back scratching against the wooden surface at the way he pounded into you. oh god, he was hitting deeper, how was he hitting deeper—fuck!

your back arched off the table suddenly, your eyes rolling up and a strangled scream barely seeping through the gaps of his fingers. you felt yourself release around him, your legs jerking and tightening around his hips at the fulfilling feeling of letting it all go. the tightness loosened up in your stomach and you felt pleasant and free.

chan continued to move, his breathing getting louder with each thrust. he could feel your cum, mixing in with the warmth of your walls and moving about around his cock. he shut his eyes when you pressed your arms around his back, holding him close to you. you pulled at his locks, stimulating his senses more, and you pressed your thighs together as you raised your legs a little higher to narrow your walls around him.

“ahh, fuck–fuck! ahh–“ he whined when he felt the bubble burst at his tip. he bottomed out inside, reaching to the hilt and finally allowing himself a satisfying release. his jaw dropped, his breath hitting against your neck as he panted for a moment before finally pulling out of you.

he didn’t leave your side, though. chan let go of your mouth so he could kiss you, his hand moving down to your hole so he could gather the dripping cum and push them back inside your pussy. pulling away from you, he looked into your eyes pointedly as he pushed his finger inside your heat, then he demanded softly, “you’re gonna sit through the lecture with my cum inside of you, hmm?”

you whimpered a little, feeling him press his finger against your walls. “yes, chan.”

“good girl,” chan smiled, running his hand through your hair and patting your head as a sign of praise.

almost immediately then, a knock sounded at the door, and you both widened your eyes at the noise.

right, classes!

scurrying off the desk, you picked up your safety shorts and pulled it back up your thighs again. you wiggled your waist to adjust your skirt before heading over to pick up your school bag. you dropped it on a chair before reaching down to grab chan’s backpack, bringing it to him with an amused smile.

“i’ll pick you up when class ends, okay?” he said as he took his bag, swinging it over his shoulders as he smiled at you. “if that’s fine with you, of course. we can have dinner together.”

you looked at him, a soft smile gracing your lips. “yeah, sure.”

he heaved a relieved sigh inwardly, hoping his nervousness didn’t seep through his facade. he reached an arm out around your shoulder and pulled you towards him, his lips briefly meeting the top of your head before pulling away and waved you a quick goodbye. he made his way out of the room, not forgetting to flick open the lights before he did so.

and, almost immediately, changbin walked into the classroom from the other direction. chan must have missed him when he walked out, because surely chan would have made a cheerful greeting and acted like he hadn’t just stuffed you full of his cum.

you stood stoic for a moment, catching his eyes and finding him stare back at you. well, while you did momentarily forgot about changbin, seeing him still made your heart pump from nervousness. damn, you really couldn’t get a moment’s of rest and think about the fact that you just had sex with chan in a classroom, huh?

to avoid staring longer at him, your lips pursed into an awkward smile as you waved at him before turning away to rummage through your bag.

but you didn’t get to do much, because only a few seconds later, his presence walked up close behind you and his hand went around your neck to give it a frighteningly familiar squeeze. your breath halted and you whimpered at the pressure he added to your bone, your hands flying up in defeat.

changbin huffed out an irritated laugh. he could recognize that whimper anywhere now, he’s replayed it so many times in his head.

he leaned close to your ear, his hot breath pricking the back of your neck dangerously and his chest pressed against your back. he spoke in a low tone, his words intending not for even the air surrounding you both.

“so you were the girl who fucked me in the closet a few weeks ago.”

you licked your lower lip and nodded. all that effort to result in this. “yeah…”

“i thought i recognized that choked moan somewhere,” he said, rolling his eyes as he recalled the awkwardness he felt when his hand left the doorknob and he stood to the side to wait.

it had taken him a second to find out why he felt icky all over his skin. he remembered your voice, and that sudden moan you let out through the door came from you.

he had his doubt, of course, something within him didn’t want it to be you, because how heartbreaking—and pathetic—would it be if he had been spending weeks hung up on your identity while you were, well, having fun in concerning locations.

he got his answers when chan walked out and you were the only person in the classroom. it has to be you; both your voice and the fact that you happened to also be in the circle that night.

there was a dramatic pause, the silence almost wrapping around you whole before he spoke again, “i’ve been looking for you everywhere. turns out you’re just here getting fucked by my friend.”

“tell me the truth,” he said, “was i better?”

you couldn’t answer. your mind simply blanked out and no thoughts were coherent at the moment. his hand deliberately pressed your neck, causing your chest to heave, and you could still feel the sticky substance sliding out your cunt and wetting up a patch at your panties. you didn’t know where to put your attention, and you felt hot all over once again.

just as changbin was about to taunt you even more, the classroom door opened with a loud bang. he quickly moved away from you and looked away, pretending to be walking off to the back of the class. but as he turned around and sat down, you found his hooded gaze was fixated on you, and you gulped at the words it told you.

you have the class period to figure out the answer to his question.

[wizkiddx]

Nothings changed at all

ooh my first lil one  shot on here?!?! not really sure how I feel abt this one but hey ho we move.

summary: 2 years have passed with 2 people living completely separate lives. That’s until Paddy the matchmaker gets involved by not liking exams.

“Y/n?…. Y/n?” Brought out of her ferocious typing, Y/n dragged her attention away from the screen infant of her and looked around the coffee shop to identify the owner of the voice. Sure enough, standing opposite her was an adult and teen who both smiled excitedly at her.

“Nikki! Pads!” Y/n exclaimed while she jumped out of her seat to hug Nikki first, then Paddy. “Wow it’s been ages! You want to join me?”

“Yeh that’d be great!” Nikki smiled already pulling out the free chair opposite, while Paddy stole a chair from a nearby vacant table and pulled it up next to Y/n.

“God you look so grown up since I last saw you!” Nikki grinned, but her eyes held a little surprise making Y/n giggle. It had been at least 2 years since she’d seen the Hollands, and life had changed tremendously for her.

“Yeh well 24 and a qualified doctor now so it’s all happened. But speaking of… what the hell have you done with my fake baby brother Paddy?”

The three spent 40 minutes just catching up with each other, it felt like some weird family reunion. Nikki knew she would be told off by her other sons for ‘consorting with the enemy’ but Nikki really did like and miss her. It was more than clear Paddy did too. Y/n had practically been a part of the Holland family for three years while her and Tom were together, it was fair to say they had all got used to having her around. So when Nikki saw this elegant, grown young woman sat in the coffee shop she couldn’t help but say hi. 

They chatted about everything… well almost everything. There was a large gaping hole in the conversation though, where casual references to Tom would usually lie - but neither felt comfortable broaching that subject with the other. Not yet anyway. Y/n could not believe that paddy was in year 11 and taking his GCSEs, in her head he was still the hyperactive young boy who loved to play spies.

“We only came out today to give this one a break from his revision did we?” Nikki spoke kindly towards her youngest, Y/n raising her eyebrow at the tone.

“Yeh I just proper hate maths and I know I’m going to fail it-“ Paddy sighed, suddenly feeling the need to twist his empty hot choclate mug round and round, clearly nervous just talking about it. He clearly wasn’t especially gifted academically and in a school system where talents for the arts and less ‘mainstream intelligence’ isn’t celebrated - he was just considered a write off.

“We’ve been looking for a tutor for him but… well you know at this point in the year so is everyone.” There was almost a look of resignation in Nikki’s face, quite clear that Paddy had already given up. Y/n knew she had to offer, her history of tutoring meant this would be just like any of her other clients and she knew the curriculum inside out and back to front.

“Well you know… only if you want… but I still do tutoring when I have the time?”Looking cautiously between the other occupants of the little table, she wore a kind smile. It would be weird - yes. Tutoring her ex’s brother. But he didn’t have to know, and the Hollands had always been a second family to her. 

“Mum can she? Please I really need help and-“

“Only if you have time Y/n, sorry I dint mean to guilt you or anything?”

“No no you didn’t! But I would love to, you know Paddy’s always been my favourite Holland!” Nikki laughed at that, nodding her head as she looked deep into Y/n’s eyes. 

“Well then, no harm in trying right?” 

///////////////////////////////

Y/n the tutor was a massive hit. Paddy’s confidence almost instantly sky rocketed, with Y/n’s familiarity with him she knew exactly how to approach different subjects and get the best results. She would come over twice, sometimes three, times a week - but there was never any issue since Tom was away filming with Harry, meanwhile Sam and Dom were sworn to secrecy. The one hour sessions quickly evolved into staying for dinner just so Sam could practice from his cooking course. Then there was a little extra tutoring of english too, then a glass of wine or so. 

Then came the actual exams. A terrifying process not only for Paddy, but everyone else associated with it also. Somehow though, they all made it through alive and without the excuse of tutoring it just became an invite to dinner once a week. Just ‘because’. Nikki and Dom would love to say they only offered because Paddy wanted her there, but truth be told they all enjoyed her company. Especially with two of their sons on the opposite side of the world, it was nice just to have that familiarity again. She would go to the pub every now and again with Dom and Sam and just generally was a part of the families day to day life. 

Then came the night before Paddy’s results.

As expected Y/n had been invited round for a barbecue that evening, with the Hollands and some of Paddys friends families. The whole thing was just a distraction for Paddy who was nervous beyond belief. He really needed to pass to go on to college and chase his dreams of going to university. He couldn’t afford to cock up, even at the tender age of 16.  So fair to say a jovial evening where the word ‘GCSEs’ was banned - it was exactly what the boy needed. Everyone sat in the garden chattering away happily, enjoying the glorious and rare British sunshine. 

Sam popped inside to go to the loo, but on his way was dragged by unfamiliar hands round the corner into a study room. He shrieked in fright, before his eyes widened in recognition.

“Missed us?” Harry smirked as he let go of his twin however he was immediately pounced on by Sam, who had of course missed his twin brother for the half a year he’d been away. Next he turned to Tom, the both of them laughing as he hugged his older brother, Sam having to hide his surprise at his bulkiness. The new role obviously had him working out a hell of a lot.

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“We got some time off and mum said Pads is terrified so we thought we’d pop in for moral support.” Harry exclaimed, clearly very proud of themselves for organising it for their littlest brother. 

“ Does anyone know?”

“Um… well you…now” Tom couldn’t hide his mischievous grin, making Sam shake his head at his over excitedness “So what’s going on? Is it a party or something?”

“I’ve just done a barbecue for Paddy friends families… you remember Jack? Another guy called Zak and then two girls too-“

“Ah cool so we will just walk out and surprise him?” Harry asked and Sam was about to encouragingly agree, until something struck him.

“I…um…Tom there’s something you need to know.” His voice was deadly serious and Harry noticed the warning tone; Tom always oblivious didn’t catch on so quick, just scoffed and asked why.

“While you’ve been away…. Paddy had tutoring to help and um well… Y/n-she’s here.” Tom closed his eyes and shook his head, taking a breath and gulping it down before looking intently at Sam.

“She…she what?”

“Mum bumped into her in town and she got Y/n to help Paddy with maths. I don’t know… she’s here for Paddy and well…”

“Mum knows that we aren’t speaking right?” Sam nodded in defeat, taking a small step back from his brother “and she still…she still did this?”

“You were the other side of the country and you know how close Paddy and Y/n were. And by the way she worked it looks as if she might’ve made him pass which would be a miracle in itself! So please can you just be civil?”

“It has been like 2 years Tom” Harry, very unhelpfully, felt the need to input - earning him a glare from both of his brothers. Tom just shifted his weight nervously from foot to foot, eyes glued to the floor.

“Yeh…I mean we are adults” His words were stuttered, as if his brain was desperately trying to force out words his heart completely disagreed with. Harry and Sam knew of course, they knew their brother never really had got over his first love. With a sympathetic smile Sam led the way out of the study room.

It was fair to say to Holland’s were ecstatic about the twos return, Paddy’s face had been the most priceless because although he was 16 - he still really was an overexcited little kid. The whole garden energy skipped about twelve levels when they walked in, Paddys friends and families also a little excited to see ‘spiderman’ in real life. Yet Y/n… she was less pleased. Sam had instantly come over to her asking if she was okay. Which she was. Unlike her ex, Y/n had properly got over him and had serious relationships since. She just felt awkward for him, she was in the way of a family reunion, she was the sceptre at the feast. Bless Sam for keeping her company, they sat on the outdoor furniture in the corner and just chatted, while Mr centre-of-attention relished all the love from his family. She knew she should leave, so leaned closer to Sam to barely whisper. “I’m gonna go now”

“Y/n you don’t have to, Pads still wants you here and-“ 

“Sam could you give us a minute?” 

Interrupted by the oh so familiar voice, Y/n smiled nervously at him, before giving Sam a side eye saying it was okay for him to leave. Swapping seats Tom sat down in Sams seat, running  a hand through his hair nervously. 

“Look Tom I was just going to go so you guys can have a proper reunion and-“

“Please stay. Paddy wants you here and tonights about him so?”

“That’s very kind of you but...well you made it clear we couldn’t be friends. I don’t want to intrude and-“

“That was years ago and I was being naive. For paddy please?”

“Tom I….I’m-“ Stopping promptly as she was interrupted.

“staying yes I agree. Now come on he’s looking…” Tom lowered his voice as he motioned over to Paddy standing with Sam, who appeared to be watching the exchange between the two ex lovers intently “so pretend I said something funny, laugh and then we can go mingle”

“Hard to imagine… you have no sense of humour” She smiled sarcastically, before throwing her head back laughing - as if she had said something hilarious. Tom knew he had to join in, however much he tried to hide the grimace at her remark.

“ You haven’t changed at all” He muttered under his breath following her as she stood up and headed back towards the main group.

“Oh but I have” Tossing her head to look back at him, flowing hair flicking round too “I’ve learnt my worth.” Her words were dripping with sass and a little passive-aggressiveness, but all Tom could think was how amazing she was, how much he had missed that little smirk she did while flicking her head back round and pull Paddy in for a side hug. 

////////////////////////

The evening flew by, all of Paddy’s friends and their families went home, yet Y/n stayed and chatted with the Hollands as if this was completely normal. They had all long since migrated into the sitting room while the sun was setting, playing some board games of Paddy’s choice - his results long since forgotten early that evening. Truth be told, Y/n really enjoyed catching up with Harry and although they hadn’t really had any personal conversations- seeing Tom and taking the piss out of his uselessness at the games was also very enjoyable. After her and Paddy’s turn ended Y/n excused herself to go to the toilet but instead of going straight back to the living room she went to grab herself a glass of water.

“Oh Y/n… I was meaning to catch you” The soft and very very familiar voice startled her a little, the warm tone sending shivers down her spine as if a reflex. Turning round to see Tom leant against the counter with a small smile.

“Well what’s up then?” She tried not to be too open too quickly, as much as her heart just wanted to skip the small talk. 

“Just wanted to catch up, it’s been a while and just feel like we should be friends since my family seem to sort of adopted you” She scoffed at his statement, very obviously rolling her eyes, a little annoyed.

“And who was it that didn’t want to be friends huh?” She raised an eyebrow and this was Toms turn to scoff as he looked down at the ground.

“Yeh yeh I deserve that… shall we just skip past the blaming me huh?” The cockiness wasn’t hidden in his voice and that made her laugh, clearly not that shy. In fact he was terrified, but wanted to look as if he didn’t care, like he was flippant. 

“Alright Spiderman, so how’s life?” …

The truth about their break up was quite simple. Tom had got too busy and had stopped making time to their relationship. Y/n grew tired and had had enough, which he completely understood. He’d tried to promise more effort, flying back for extra weekends but they both new they were hollow, it wouldn’t be maintained. Their last meeting hadn’t been an angry shouty one, rather just depressingly sad. They’d both been upset, recahingn a mutual conclusion it was just the wrong time. Which they had both agreed with... but one thing they hadn’t. Tom thought it was like dangling a carrot in front of his face, having Y/n still present in his life. He had given her an ultimatum, they either keep going on together p as a couple or they would become strangers. And that’s where it had been left 2 years ago. 

They spent the next half an hour or so, chatting away as if nothing had ever happened. It felt normal again, all jokingly catching up about the most ridiculous things - the low hum of the left on radio in the background. That was until a certain song  came on the radio - it was ridiculous, the most insane unlikely eventuality to happen. Their old song. 

Of course that would happen. Y/n released a breathy laugh and Tom’s grin just grew and grew across his face, slowly transferring into a smirk. He stood up from leaning across the counter, that Y/n was now sat cross-legged on top. In his ever so dramatic movie like style, he rounded the counter to her side, and held an arm out to her. 

“Dance with me”

“Tom that’s-“

“Oh come on, dance with me!”

“You’re ridiculous”

“I know. So dance with me?”

“Tooommm” She drew out his name in refusal, but her body said something else as she slid off from the counter - delicately landing on tiptoes as she lowered herself down. 

“Just come here, for old times sake” He grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him, transferring his hand to hover at her waist, not touching until she  gave him a small nod in permission. Hesitantly she knew where her hands were supposed to go and slowly drifted them up to round his neck, but balanced  her forearms further on his collarbones so she held her own hands rather than gripping his neck as was natural. They slowly moved in unison, just slightly rocking from one side to another - Tom’s eyes locked on hers.

“So are you happy?” Something about the way he said it made her internally shudder. It was the pure care, all his sarcasm and cockiness stripped back to expose himself just for this moment.

“Um yeh… I don’t know feel like I’m starting to figure out this whole ‘life’ thing.” She smiled up at his chocolate brown eyes, while he seemed to absorb all she said. 

“And he treats you well?”

“He?” She narrowed her eyebrows in confusion, cocking her head to the side slightly.

“Oh er… before you said that ‘we’d moved out’ and I just assumed-“

“Ah um yeh I moved in with someone but he’s not in the picture anymore… got the bed to myself again” Tom thought she didn’t seem very affected by it yet still felt guilty for bringing it up.

“I’m sorry… er how long? Are you okay?”

“Yeh I really am. A year and a half so we taught each other a lot, but it was mutual. We’re still friends.” Smiling, Y/n watched as Tom nodded minutely and they drifted to silence, listening to the song bringing back all sorts of memories. “What about you? Got yourself a super model I assume?” She didn’t mean to ask that. Because why did she need to know? She didn’t care about that. Did she? Tom chuckled nervously before replying.

“Umm no. I haven’t really dated anyone since… just all the travelling and everything doesn’t really work with the dating scene.” His voice was quiet, as if hiding something, and he couldn’t meet her eyes looking at the floor.

“Oh… yeh I get that” Unconsciously letting her hands slip back, connecting with the back of his neck- instantly making him meet eyes with hers again. They just stared at each other, still swaying from side to side as the music flowed. He didn’t want this moment to end. And secretly… neither did she. 

“I can’t take you seriously when you look at me like that”  Breaking the intensity, nervously Y/n giggled, leaning away - but Tom’s arms, still on her waist, kept her from going anywhere. 

“Like what?” His eyebrows raised, enjoying her nervous flush present on her cheeks a little more than he should. 

“Like nothings changed” She all but whispered, the gap between the two almost magically diminishing. The pause was long as Tom tried to  formulate the idea he so wanted to get across. 

“ Maybe that’s because… right now I have exactly the same feelings I did two years ago… that maybe I want so badly to kiss you?” His voice was barely audible at the point, but their faces were barely centimetres from each other; noses hovering side by side as his lips brushed hers. He didn’t want to push her, yet at the same time one of his hands moved to her cheek - gently cupping it as his eyes flicked between her wide eyes and pink flushed lips. 

“Maybe… maybe you should kiss me then?” The tension was palpable as she drew out her words, purposefully teasing him a little. Because she wanted to keep him on his toes. When her heard her suggestion she had to stop herself from giggling at the smile that instantly grew across his face, the way his pupils grew in shock . Safe to say he didn’t reply, instead slowly and delicately pressing his lips on hers. She reciprocated tentatively and deepened the kiss bit by bit. Her hands now running through his hair on the back of his head, Toms other hand now on the small of her back - closing the distance completely, their bodies connected. It didn’t last long before she pulled away the most seductive smile on her face, while Tom subtly tried to regain the breath that had been knocked out of his lungs. 

“We should go back” She whispered, while running her thumb over his left flicky eyebrow that always intrigued her. Suddenly his eyebrows furrowed in concern, worried he had made her feel uncomfortable. Instantly recognising this, she calmed his nerves very simply by pressing a fleeting kiss on his lips once again, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the living room.

As soon as they entered Y/n and Tom both realised how long they’d been in the kitchen. The game long since abandoned, probably waiting on one of their returns at their go, the rest of the Hollands now all sat lounging on different areas of the sofa - who all immediately looked up as they shuffled in. Luckily the lights were dimmed for the movie playing on the TV screen, so that no one would see her blushing cheeks. She sat in the middle of the sofa which only paddy was on, and Tom followed sitting next to her - but not too close that it would be suspicious . No words were exchanged throughout, though Nikki did exchange a knowing look with Dom - who had seemingly finally learnt when to keep his mouth closed. Both Y/n and Tom pretend to fix their full attention on the film for a short while, even if both their brains were whirring away with very very separate thoughts to any critical analysis of the storyline. 

After about 10 minutes though, Tom pulled his leg up, just so it was obscuring the view to the sofa opposite and took the opportunity to clasp Y/n’s hands in his. Slickly, even though she wasn’t expecting the contact Y/n didn’t react her eyes still trained on the TV. However, Tom didn’t miss the small upward tug on her lips as she squeezed his hand back. No one noticed.

Except Paddy. 

Paddy from his vantage point on the sofa he was sharing with the two, peered over subtly as he went to the loo - and a massive smirk appeared across his face. He might just’ve got his sister back.

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 82-86

LIKE A BLOODY STORM

Atsuku LIKE A BLOODY STONE

So it’s come to this.   This is the “Black Onyx” arc and “Sorcerian Part 1″, where we finally get the payoff to the Major’s 55-year plot against Alucard.    Walter betrayed Integra, the Hellsing Organization, and the whole United Kingdom just so Millennium would give him a chance to beat Alucard, and he’s failing.   Alucard doesn’t see any point in dragging this out, so he’s sucking up all the fresh blood in London to power up and bring and end to this.   Also, if you’re just joining us, Alucard looks like a 14-year-old girl.    Just roll with it.

But the Major was counting on Alucard doing this, and apparently his plan to “poison the tyrant’s wine” involves his last henchman, Warrant Officer Schrodinger, cutting off his own head and adding his werewolf blood to Alucard’s meal.   Why would this matter at all?

Walter seems to understand, because he begs the Major to stop this, as if the Major could.

Desperate, he bisects Alucard with his wires, but it’s already too late for that.   Part of the secret behind Alucard’s invincibility is that he gains a 1-up for each person’s blood he consumes.   That’s what Anderson and Walter were banking on when they attacked Alucard before.   At the time, he had separated himself from the souls he had consumed, which meant that killing him once -- however tough that might be-- would finish him off.   But now it’s too late for that.  You kill him now and he’ll just come back and dare you to keep going.    And he’s taken the blood of like three million people at least.

So the Major observes that Walter’s window of opportunity has closed.   According to him, there’s only been two chances to beat Alucard in a fight since Abraham van Helsing captured him in 1898.   I assume he’s referring to Anderson and Walter’s respective efforts. 

No, Walter was never the final stroke in the Major’s plan, just part of the endgame.  All of Millennium’s resources were sacrificed to get to this moment.  Enrico Maxwell’s 9th Crusade?   The Major was counting on them getting involved, which is probably why he leaked and shared so much of his plans with the Vatican, even though his target was always London.   He wanted the Vatican to send all their best warriors to compound the horror, all so Alucard would use his full power to destroy them.

And then, once Alucard’s full power was deployed, the Major knew Anderson would step in and use everything at his disposal to kill Alucard.   This battle destroyed all of Alucard’s familiars, setting him up for Walter to take a turn.   And maybe Alucard could beat Walter without taking in more blood, but that;s never been Alucard’s style.   He sees himself as a loaded weapon at the disposal of Integra Hellsing.   He’s not going to drag things out for no reason, and Integra ordered him to destroy Walter, not humor him.

And maybe Walter was aware of all this, but he still believed he could buck the odds and kill Alucard before the Major’s winning move.  Walter’s a rook who fancied himself a king.   I guess that’s always been his problem.   This was never Walter’s story, and I guess he couldn’t handle that truth.  If he couldn’t be the hero, then he was content with being the villain, but in the end he was never more than a plot device, supporting whichever side he was on at the time.

And finally, it happens, whatever ‘it’ is.   Alucard somehow hears the Major saying that he’s lost.   Is the Major saying it?  I don’t think anyone else would be.  Whoever it is, he starts flashing back to all the other times he’s heard that.

Then he seems to realize something’s gone terribly wrong, and he pauses to notice the rising sun, which has been a common theme with all of his past defeats.   Then all these eyes appear on his body and begin winking out, one by one.  

Okay, so what the hell happened here?  Well, get comfortable, because this is going to take some time to unpack.

The key to all of this is Warrant Officer Schrodinger, a werewolf with the power to be “everywhere and nowhere”.   This sounds like he’s just a teleporter, like Nightcrawler from the X-Men, or.... Majik from the X-Men.    Well, it’s more complicated than that. 

Let me explain the “Schrödinger's cat” thought experiment, because that’s one of those things that’s widespread enough in pop culture that it’s easy to take for granted.  I think people understand it has to do with an imaginary cat being alive or dead, but that’s about all.   

The really short version of quantum mechanics is that subatomic particles don’t behave the same way as big objects like apples or planets or people.   It’s convenient to think of atoms as tiny little solar systems, with electrons orbiting the atomic nucleus.   But the reality is that electrons don’t revolve around elliptical orbits like the Earth around the Sun.   What happens instead is the electron zips around the nucleus all over the place, from all angles and directions.   What’s more, the electron can be at any particular spot at any moment.    So it’s less useful to think of an electron having an orbit around a nucleus.   What you have instead is this region where the electron is most likely to be at any particular moment.    And you can do the math and figure out what the shape of this region is.  You can’t locate the electron’s exact position at any particular moment, but you can consider the region where it’s most likely to be in an atom, which will resemble a sphere or a vaguely dumbbell kind of shape.  

This is what the Schrödinger Equation is for.   Erwin Schrödinger didn’t just talk about cats all day.   He postulated his equation in 1925 to work out the movements of electrons in atoms.   It was groundbreaking work, and he won a Nobel Prize for it in 1933, and don’t feel bad if you have trouble wrapping your head around all of this.   I’m a professional chemist and a lot of this is over my head. 

The point of the “Schrödinger's cat” concept was to help visualize how confusing quantum mechanics really is.   There are principles to subatomic particles that we know to be true, but they make no sense in our macroscale world.   For example, a particle might have a probability of being in multiple locations at a given moment.    It can only be in one place at a time, but until you actually perform the measurement to find out, it may as well be in all of those locations.    This is something called “superposition”, and I guess we could say that this idea is the basis for our wolfboy’s powers.

So Schrödinger (the scientist, not the furry) suggested a thought experiment where a macroscale event could depend upon a subatomic condition.   Like there’s some subatomic thing that could happen or not happen, and depending on the outcome, it would cause a poison to be dispensed that would kill a cat in a box.   If the particle goes one way, the cat dies, but if it goes the other way, the cat survives.    But both probabilities are equal, and supposedly both outcomes are true for the particle until you make the observation.    Therefore, you can’t know whether the cat lived or died until you open the box to look!   Indeed, according to quantum mechanics, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead until you open the box to see for yourself.  

How does that make any sense?   Well it doesn’t, and that’s the point Erwin Schrödinger was driving at.    In our large scale, things like gravity and being one place at a time are things we take for granted.  But on the quantum level, subatomic particles are governed by rules that seem completely paradoxical to us.    And yet, we’re not talking about some alternate reality here.   Those subatomic particles make up the atoms that make up us.  Cats, boxes, bottles of poison, they’re all just a huge pile of subatomic particles, each following these seemingly nonsensical rules.    They’re just organized in such a way that they give rise to bigger rules that make more sense to us.    Things like classical mechanics, chemical reactions, cats liking to be inside boxes, and so on.   As Erwin Schrödinger put it:

“It is typical of these cases that an indeterminacy originally restricted to the atomic domain becomes transformed into macroscopic indeterminacy, which can then be resolved by direct observation. That prevents us from so naïvely accepting as valid a "blurred model" for representing reality. In itself, it would not embody anything unclear or contradictory. There is a difference between a shaky or out-of-focus photograph and a snapshot of clouds and fog banks.”

In other words, we see the world as discrete outcomes.  We read the black letters on the page, and not the indeterminate spaces in between, or the hazy, unfinished thoughts of the writer.  That doesn’t mean the words on the page aren’t legitimate, or that the passing thoughts of the writer don’t exist.   We have to accept the seeming contradiction of it.   

So what does this have to do with Alucard?   Well, Schrödinger (the furry, not the scientist) has the ability to be like one of these subatomic particles.   Our were-boy probably can’t be literally everywhere, but he has this probability region of places where he can be, and it seems to cover at least half the world.   He’s appeared in Brazil, London, Zorin Blitz’s psychic visions, and so on.  He’s been shot twice in this story, but he just reappears like nothing happened to him at all.   It’s not like he teleported away in the nick of time, either.    We’ve seen his head burst open like a ripe melon.   Like Schrödinger’s cat in the thought experiment, he can be alive or dead at any given moment, so killing him doesn’t actually matter.  Warrant Officer Schrödinger can do all of this and he’s conscious of this ability.   So as long as he’s aware of himself, he can observe himself and direct himself to be in any location he so chooses. 

I would think getting shot in the face would interfere with this ability to control his power, but that’s probably where his werewolf nature comes in.   Like the Captain, he can grow back from a nasty headwound, so that gives him time to picture himself someplace else, and in better health.   Now that I think about it, that must have been a silver knife he used to cut his own head off.  

So when Alucard drank all that blood, he drank Schrödinger’s too, and just like when he drank Rip van Winkle’s blood and got the power to fire that magic musket, Alucard absorbed Schrödinger’s ability to be “everywhere and nowhere”.  Except that power only works when Schrödinger himself is conscious of it. And he’s not conscious of it anymore because he’s part of Alucard now.  Alucard might figure out how to control this power, but until he does, he can’t choose a location and be in that one place.   Instead, he’s “everywhere and nowhere” all the time.  So he’s experiencing all of his past moments simultaneously, with no control over his current position.  

That sounds bad, right?  Well it gets worse.   He drank all those other dead people’s blood too, so on top of his own perception, he has the perceptions of all 3 million plus of the souls he’s consumed.   So that just further complicates matters.   The bottom line is that Schrödinger’s ability is fundamentally incompatible with Alucard’s existence as a composite being made up of multiple absorbed lives. 

And since Alucard can’t just cough up Schrödinger’s blood, it’s too late now.   He’s got Schrödinger’s ability and he’s stuck with it, but he can’t control it, which means he just winks out of existence.   As the Major puts it, he’s now neither live nor dead nor undead.   He’s become like a series of imaginary numbers.  You’ll need to look that one up on your own time, folks, I spent enough time talking about quantum mechanics.

And you have to hand it to Kouta Hirano, this is a really clever way to bring down an overpowered seinen manga protagonist.  This whole time, all of these lower villains acted like they could just beat down Alucard if they applied enough brute force, but that was never going to get the job done.   For the purposes of this story, Alucard has been, almost by definition, unbeatable.   So the Major’s solution was to give him a new power, one that he would be unable to control.   It wouldn’t kill him, but killing Alucard seems like a fool’s errand anyway.  Instead, it just... makes Alucard go away, which is probably as close to destroying him as anyone could ever hope for.   He might still be alive in some semantic sense, but he can’t carry out his duties to Hellsing and the Crown, so the Major seems to have at least brought down what Alucard is expected to be. 

And there’s no way to stop it, because it’s already happened.  Integra commands him to stay, but it’s useless.  I like the way he signs off in the dub of the OVA, where he apologizes to Integra and says this is one order he cannot obey.  It’s just out of his hands.  

Then he vanishes, and all that’s left of Alucard is a bloody mark on the street, shaped like the Hellsing insignia on his gloves.   

Wait, so does this affect Seras too, since she was Alucard’s servant vampire?  Remember, way back in Chapter 1, Integra said that killing the head vampire would automatically kill any ghouls or vampires he creates.   So maybe Seras is gone too?

Hell naw.    Seras joins Integra in the Major’s command center, and she looks like she’s ready for some revenge.  Does she know what’s just happened?  I mean, she was furious at the Major to begin with, but she sensed Alucard’s return a while back when he floated up the Thames River.  Surely she sensed her own vampire dad winking out of existence.

Meanwhile, Walter had a front-row seat for Alucard’s disappearance.   At first he laughs with triumph.   I guess he must be giddy with relief, since he wanted to kill Alucard, and for a minute there it looked like Alucard had him dead to rights.   Imagine a guy’s about to murder you and then he just ceases to exist.   But it doesn’t take long for Walter to realize how hollow this all is.  He wanted to kill Alucard himself, and he bet everything just to get that one opportunity, and now he’s failed and he’ll never get another chance.   His body is giving out and he’s betrayed everyone who ever cared about him and he’s got nothing to show for it.   

Then Heinkel starts shooting at him with a sniper rifle.  Yeah, she never left the battlefield after Walter killed Yumiko.   The Captain stopped her from interfering before, but the Captain’s dead now and I guess she figures she’s got nothing to lose by trying again.   And I suppose the sniper act proves she’s learned from Yumiko’s fatal mistake.   Attacking Walter up close is dangerous.   

At first, Walter seems to invite this.   He even invites Heinkel to shoot him a few more times, as it’s a fitting punishment for a traitor.   If you’ve only seen the TFS Abridged version of Hellsing, they actually use this as Walter’s death scene, but in the original version Walter takes a few bullets and then leaves.  He says Heinkel can shoot him, but she doesn’t get to kill him.   I don’t think she even heard him say that, but whatever.

Instead, he uses his wires to board the Major’s airship one last time.

So remember how the Major was protected from Integra by a reinforced glass barrier?   Yeah, well Seras finds an 88mm cannon and shoots through it.   It also shoots through the hull of his ship and rings a large bell on the outskirts of town.   Right before she shoots, Integra orders Seras to “Search and Destroy” just like she always told Alucard.    It’s kind of sad, but Seras has automatically succeeded her master as Integra’s weapon.  I mean, it’s a triumph for Seras, but it comes at a heavy price for her.   She’s probably too enraged by what’s happened to appreciate this moment on all these other levels, but there’ll be time for that.

So there’s no way the Major could survive a cannon like that at pointblank range, right?   Wrong, the dude’s a fucking cyborg, and I guess Seras’ aim was a little off.   I suppose the downside to using big-ass guns is that you have trouble aiming at small targets.   Wait, no, what happened to all that “third eye” stuff from before?   What’s wrong with you, Victoria?  

Oh wait, she missed because she’s sad.    Aw... :`(

So we knew the Major had to be something to have survived this long without aging, but we had already learned he wasn’t a vampire.   He insists that he is still human, however, no different from a man with a pacemaker or an artificial limb.   His mind remains his own, even if it should be a brain in a life support system or backed up on a computer.   I’m not sure if either of these describes the status of the Major’s brain, but to his point, it doesn’t really matter.  He describes himself as Alucard’s polar opposite.  While Al is this beautiful monster who masquerades as a human, the Major is a human who resembles the grotesque form of a monster.   I’m not body-shaming the dude, I’m just reporting what he’s saying.  He’s taken a few fat jokes in stride, and I guess he’s got the same attitude about his cyborg body too.  He doesn’t seem to care if others find this unpleasant, because it’s better than being a vampire with a diluted self.

Arguably, this whole campaign to destroy Alucard was the Major’s effort to prove his claim on being human.   Alucard often said that only a human could defeat a monster like him, and the Major beat him, so doesn’t that prove he’s a human in the end?  

So Integra whips out her other gun, the one she didn’t use to shoot at the Major’s glass case, and they start shooting each other at pointblank range.   The Major’s a terrible shot, though, and yet somehow he manages to take out one of Integra’s eyes before she puts a bullet in his forehead.   I still don’t understand how you can shoot someone in the eye and not kill them.   Did the bullet just angle away from her brain or is the Major’s gun just really weak on stopping power?  

Anyway, Integra’s shot kills the Major, but not right away, so I guess it’s not just his original brain in there.   He’s just thrilled to have finally hit something after a lifetime of terrible marksmanship.    It’s a fitting reflection of his win over Alucard, because he and the rest of Millennium were warriors who had never won a war before.   In the end, I’m not sure the Major would have been disappointed if his plan had failed.   He’d never won before, so I don’t think another defeat would have bothered him much.    As it is, he dies contentedly, satisfied with his “good war”.   What a shithead.

So yeah, we’ve got three more chapters to go and then we’re done.   See you next time.

[honestlyzenoouh]

The Friendship I never knew I needed

Okay, new headcanon time because I read a post about Aaron and Neil begrudging friendship, and now this thing won’t leave my brain. It sorta grew legs and kept on going, sorry. Featuring twinyard forced bonding, Neil being an asshole and Katelyn being sneaky.

Okay, so we know that Neil doesn’t really care for Katelyn. But like, sometime in Neil’s 3’rd year and the girls have left him he shows up to one of his maths classes and like, Katelyn is there??

Katelyn is super smart as well as athletic, the whole deal. And one time one of her TA’s were like, okay this class might actually challenge you, but won’t take up all of your time. Might be fun.

And Katelyn is like, alright imma try.

The first two weeks Katelyn doesn’t even notice she shares the class with Neil, it is that big.

When she does though, it’s because the professor is writing a thing on the board (it’s early, I don’t wanna do actual maths rn), slightly incorrect, and she really wants to point it out, but also doesn’t wanna be rude and affect her grade.

Neil doesn’t have such worries and just sorta not quite yell but loudly points it out... might’ve used a cuss word or two as well, whoops

Katelyn was like thank god someone said something, she was sat clinching all muscles not to say anything.

Then she clocks who said it and was like, huh, I might do something about this. He is someday gonna be my family so might as well start wearing him down now, instead of later.

Also, perfect excuse to actually start up a conversation, sharing a class.

So a couple of weeks after that, when Katelyn has had some time to think, and Neil thinks he’s safe, she strikes.

They are appointed some homework, and she has positioned herself so she can see Neils face in the lecture hall (without it being obvious) and Neil’s eyebrow pinch the tiniest bit together. Now is the time.

She gently approaches him a little sheepish, “could we maybe form a little study group for this class? I don’t really know anyone here, and I don’t really understand the concept for this bit”

Neil, a little suspicious but also completely lost on this subject “would you be able to meet in the library on Tuesdays at 4?”

She says yes of course and dances a bit internally.

The first like, 3 study sessions are completely awkward and stilted, but somehow they work really well together academically? Who knew?

It’s in the fourth meet-up that the ice breaks. Katelyn arrives a bit winded, with a half of cup of coffee and just starts to enthusiastically rant about this complete asshole who cut in line at the coffee place, and then the girl who tripped her on the way into the building but wouldn’t apologize and they got in an argument and then so on about every bad thing for the past week

And Neil is just hooked on her rant. He is reminded a bit of Dan and her ranting about sexist assholes in sports and he really misses her, but why should that stop him from making new friends?

So he stops fighting it and actually talks to the girl. Turns out, they have a lot in common. Including complaining about their significant Minyard. They love them, but oh my lord are they petty and annoying.

From there on out, Tuesdays becomes their hang out day. Even when the semesters over and they don’t have that class anymore. Just Katelyn and Neil becoming unlikely best friends (sorry Matt, it wasn’t on purpose), and telling each other everything. She is the first one outside of the foxes to see his scars.

She didn’t flinch. But she quietly seethes for days afterwards. Aaron tipped him off by complaining about Katelyns bad mood to Kevin (not that he cared) and he overheard it. They had a talk and only grew tighter.

Fast forward like, a year and a half, and Aaron really wanna meet this person. And Katelyn really wants her bf and bff to have a bond as well, but considering all of the bitching she hears about Josten this and Josten that, she had taking to keep referring to Neil as that person I meet in this class, or her nickname for Neil (it’s buggy, because he keeps on bugging her with more maths) to keep the peace.

Also, gender-neutral terms to keep the jealousy at bay. He’s not that bad, but better safe than sorry. Neil means a lot to her now.

But finally she snaps; “fine, you can meet buggy. But only if they agree to meet you too”

“Why wouldn’t they agree to meet your boyfriend?”

“You’re annoying, and I complain about you a lot.”

“You what?”

Anywayyyys.

Neil of course agrees, but only if he can bring Andrew as well. “He’ll play nice, I promise! No knives or hairpulling”

Aaron is really excited to finally meet Buggy. They really mean a lot to Katelyn and makes her happy. And who makes her happy, make him happy too

Andrew is very curious about Neil’s supposed new best friend. Turns out, Neil also hasn’t disclosed exactly who it is, but Andrew hasn’t outright asked him about it so.. It’s his own fault, really

The meeting goes a little like this:

Neil and Katelyn is at their weekly hangout, this time at a coffee shop around campus, and both text their S.M(significant Minyard) where to meet up. Andrew arrives first and just stands in the doorway when he catches sight of the twin redheads sitting and laughing about something. Neither has noticed him yet

Debating just walking out again, he hears a soft but earnest “are you fucking kidding me”

Turns out Aaron was just as surprised and lowkey mindfucked. They catch each other’s eyes and have their first mental conversation

“Well shit, now we have get along with each other’s S.R’s (significant redhead). Also did you know? No? Thank god I wasn’t the only one”

Katelyn turns around as her Aaron senses has gone off, and spies the twins just looking at each other totally defeated. Then turning to Neil like,

“Did you not tell Andrew about me? Because he is doing the same face Aaron is currently doing, and I didn’t tell him exactly who he was meeting today other than my best friend”

“Whoops, might’ve forgotten. They look kinda emotionally constipated... For how long do you think Aaron is gonna complain about it’s me?”

“Two weeks at least, how about Andrew with me?”

“He’s just gonna passive aggressively stare at me with snide comments every now and then until I buy him a tub of ice cream in apology. I give it 6 months for Aaron to laugh at I joke I made without making that face afterwards”

“You’re on, it’s gonna take him 9 at least”

It took 5 and a half months, and 2 years for Katelyn to get Andrew to huff his version of a laugh at all.

Just, Neil and Katelyn being besties and forcing the twinyards to accept and maybe even like each others S.R’s whilst also getting a better relationship out of it. Also; Aaron is now cursed into saying buggy instead of Josten or Neil, and he hates it. Until he doesn’t of course.

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

About Assassination Classroom Characters- Akabane Karma

Oh look it’s finally time for demon boy

Look I’ve honestly done so many previous rants about how this fandom really messes up with Karma as a character, I’m going to TRY and keep it brief. 

So the first major character point we have for Karma is his genius. Though he’s naturally very intuitive, as well as at least to an extent book smart without effort, he has to (and does!) put serious effort into studying to actually refine himself and get those top results. 

His intuition is somewhat what separates him and Gakushuu, as we see in the final math problem. He has slightly more ‘natural’ intelligence, where Shuu has more booksmarts.  

He can learn just by watching, such as Karasuma’s defensive techniques. 

The next major thing is Karma has a tendency to lash out when angry, sometimes without really thinking. It’s even worse when he actually thinks about it. Though he starts to develop from this, this gets him into trouble and him losing it is ultimately why he ended up in 3E. 

Karma’s also for the most part a very lazy person. He doesn’t want to do their assassination lessons, or even show up to class, if he thinks there’s nothing in it for him. Again, we do see him develop from this. 

This also leads to a bit of arrogance. 

He’s actually kind of... nerdy? Like he really likes movies and video games for example. He even fanboys over his favourite director. I guess this isn’t the most obvious side of him though. 

The boy is also high key sadistic like the things he comes up with, enjoying torture with both physical and verbal actions. 

Look for the sake of fandom peace I’m only going to bring up the cross dressing/gender jokes briefly in that he’s a 14 year old boy and doesn’t deserve a cancelling hate campaign for a series of (admittedly terrible) jokes that don’t really impact the series as a whole that much. It’s my personal opinion that they largely were toned down after the whole Hiromi arc as it was, and Nagisa himself said he could cope with it coming from him. 

Karma lives mostly alone, since he has weird India obsessed parents who are constantly travelling. Matsui states that this makes him generally more mature. Karma never expresses being upset with his parents, but I imagine it gets a little lonely for him. 

Actually, he’s a really great leader. Though he doesn’t show this side of himself for a while, he really steps up and is at least somewhat on par with Isogai by the end of the series. 

Though it takes him some time since people are kind of wary of him, he does make some friends. Notably would be Sugino, who eventually he started to hang out with due to Nagisa, though I don’t personally see them spending time one on one. 

He also spends some time with Itona, when he properly transfers into class. 

I wouldn’t call Terasaka a friend at all... more of a lacky. 

Karma’s a little put out when Isogai interacts with him in a friendly way. Unfortunately, he’s not used to it (poor Karma honestly). 

He and Nakamura are to be feared when they work together on something. Since they’re both very intelligent, their conversations can be a real mixed bag. He really does trust her, though, enough to make her second in command. 

It should be mentioned that Karma absolutely has trust issues. I could write like... a whole meta about just this, but in summary it means that he rarely opens up to people, and when he does he needs to really trust them. 

This is why I think, along with her science capabilities, he finds it easiest to talk to Okuda out of the girls. Because she really is genuinely so honest, Karma can be relaxed around her. Whatever your ship, their friendship is a very great concept (even though Matsui like... never went into it). 

Now, Nagisa. Well, from Karma’s POV I think the angst was definitely a lot heavier. Originally, Nagisa was harmless and a person Karma could easily trust. But when he first saw Nagisa’s bloodlust, he freaked out. He was scared that something so dangerous could slip through his defences, so he put up every guard and forced distance between them. Even though Nagisa is his closest friend when they reunite, they still keep those walls up with each other until civil war. It’s kind of this awkward contradiction that was going to boil over no matter what. Though they do eventually get over it when Karma admits defeat, and we see them both drop those roles so they can be the good friends they really are. It’s a big moment for him. 

Again, I’m not trying to write a whole karmagisa essay here, however his feelings with regards to Nagisa are a very interesting part of his characterisation. 

In summary, yeah I went on a bit. Whilst I wouldn’t say Karma’s my favourite character, he’s definitely the most interesting for me, and absolutely has the most complete character arc in the series. I could talk for pages and pages, but I’m trying my best to keep this down to a reasonable length. As such, I don’t have any development notes, aside from continued maturity. 

What I will repeat: KARMA IS NOT YOUR EDGY BAD BOY SUAVE EMO OTOME GAME PROTAG BOYFRIEND. Honestly, just make your Maehara/Chiba/Hazama hybrid oc at that point. I’m all for interpretation, and I admit he’s quite hard to write and I don’t claim to do it perfect, but it almost feels... so off it’s kind of insulting to his character? I get that a lot of people stan his vibe, but at least stan real Karma and not some distorted fanon of him. He’s also not like, evil. He’s 14. 

I appreciate that sounds like a Karma stan going off, but it’s really because I see him being taken VERY ooc the most out of any character, aside from the people who genuinely think Nagisa is a submissive maid girl. 

MASTERLIST

[angelisverba]

no need to be sorry

in which y/n realizes she loves Jason, and he can’t touch himself to the thought of her because it makes him feel guilty

word count: 12.8k

pairing: y/n and her brother’s best friend, jason

warning: strong mentions of sexual trauma and abuse. please read at your own caution if you are not comfortable with that .

author’s note: originally this was supposed to be a super long piece (and the last one) but i wanted to put something else to make the last part even longer :) THIS IS NOT EDITED, sorry not sorry hehe

March is a very confusing month. 

For y/n, it meant SAT cramming and intensive camps for the retake in may. A maxed out speed on her brain as to keep up her grades (and even improve them because God knows her math grade needs urgent care) and constantly keep her nose in her books because finals were approaching soon. 

For Jason, and the entire senior class for that matter, it meant renting out tuxedos and making appointments at the beauty salon in preparation for prom, buying tickets for prom, finding a prom date, asking out said date in a cutesy way that was memorable for both parties.

It meant asking y/n to be his prom date, but not drag her away from her studies because that just wouldn’t be fair.

Hell, Jason still hadn’t taken his girl out on a second date because she was such a busy bee, and had to settle for ‘study dates’. Really it was just him watching her chew on her bottom lip as she transferred notes from her chemistry textbook to her notebook, his own work splayed out in front of him, meaning to be completed but his attention diverted elsewhere. She’d glance up with burning cheeks to tell him that his glasses were sliding down his nose, and Jason— quite nearly in a hypnotic daze— would smile dopily at her and say ‘you’re so pretty’. She would shush him and tell him to get to work, or sometime ask for his help, and Jason would use that as an excuse to wrap his arm around her waist telling her ‘gotta whisper love, come close’ and proceed to explain how the law of gas, ideal gas, and Dalton’s Law of partial pressure differentiated from each other. 

He didn’t mind this. Any time he got with her he treasured, but god did he want to keep her tucked at his side at all times to show him off. It was selfish of him to be jealous that she wasn’t spending time with him when all she wanted to do was study for her future; for college. Selfish because Jason already had everything worked out. He’d gotten a scholarship to his dream school via football and his good-ish grades. Dorming and transportation was all set-up; he was 100% ready to go. 

But y/n? She’d confessed to Jason that she had no idea what she was doing with her life. That she was studying and doing all these things to look good for her college application, but her biggest fear was that they still wouldn’t accept her and she’d wind up going to community college. There were times where her bouncing leg would violently shake their table in the library so much, Jason would drag her out of the chair and take her on a short walk around the library (if her eyes were teary he’d sneak her into a corner and peck at her eyelids softly until she giggled). An effective strategy that resulted in a noticeable tent at his crotch, and a dreamy-eyed y/n that peeked up at him through her lashes with heated cheeks. 

He’d say, “Are you relaxed now? Or should we go home?” 

Home was his house. Y/n had her home, and Jason had his- respectively- but he referred to his place as ‘home’ and she never bothered to correct him.  More often than not (once it got to this point) y/n would nod and they’d head over to his place. 

And, well, who was she to pass up that opportunity? 

Y/n enjoyed reading her dog-eared SAT book on Jason’s bed and falling asleep on her crossed arms. Only because she would wake up an hour or so later, glued next to his side, with him also napping, lips puffy and hair extra fluffy. His hair, how a complete chocolate brown color, closely cropped since he’d cut off all the blond, fanned on the pillow and curled around the frames of his tortoise-shell glasses that he never remembered to take off. 

She’d always take them off for him, and the movement would startle him awake, his green eyes fluttering awake, eyebrows furrowed in a confusion that disappeared when he realized that it was just her. His sweet y/n with sleepy eyes who took his glasses off ever so gently, and reached over him to place them on his bedside.

They were wrapped up in their own little personal heaven when they were together, alone, and it was only disrupted when it was time for Jason to take y/n home. Grabby hands and kissy faces consumed them when she received a questioning text from her parents or brother, and the whole ‘do you really have to go’ ordeal took its course. And maybe- just maybe- Jason enjoyed the goodbyes because y/n always put extra effort into her goodbye kiss, leaning and pressing up against his mouth so their noses were squished against each other, her hand at the collar of his shirt to pull him even closer, communicating to him how much… how much she would miss him. 

She knew that Jason understood, and when they broke apart with a wet suction noise, and her eyes fluttered open to meet his, Jason knew that she knew that he knew what she was trying to say. It was a slight moment of vulnerability on her part, because it was the closest they’d get to admitting/discussing the sexual parts of their relationship. Or rather, the lack of.

But never mind that, it didn’t matter to any of them. They could be intimate without having sex. 

Right?

*                                                      *                                  *

Jason was confused. 

As silly as it was, prom was a big deal. It signified the closing of an era in a teenager’s life; the end of high school. A party to honor their struggles and begin a transition to a period of more struggles. 

Traditionally, you attend a dance with a date. A girlfriend, a crush, a last resort. One could go with friends but, Jason has a girlfriend now and he’d be damned if he didn’t take his pretty girl and show off that he was the one that got her in the end.  

The only issue was: the prom-posal.

He knew that y/n and him didn’t hang in the same crowd, and while they were both mellow, y/n held a little more reserve to public announcements.

She was shy. 

Needless to say, Jason had a very big quest on his shoulders; to find a way to ask y/n out to prom in a way that was memorable and attune to her likings. He thinks he doesn’t think he'd be able to get over it if he messed this up. 

“Jason? Bro are you even listening?” Andrew asked from across the lunch table. Kent stuffed french fries into his mouth, and glanced from both his friends. 

“Sorry, man. What was that?” Jason presses the lock button on his phone, and places it down on the table. 

“I was talking about the rager at Greg’s, is everything alright? You’ve been distant for a few days now, not having issues with y/n are you?” Andrew’s facial features darkened slightly, the deep concerns for his sister shining through his demeanor. Kent picked on the change of atmosphere, and his chewing stops. 

Jason sighed, his shoulders slanting downwards and the fabric of his letter-man jacket coming to a close at his chest. His heart-shaped lips come to a pensive pucker, debating if he should tell his best friend what was on his mind. 

At the troubled look on his face, Kent smiles encouragingly, and says, “You know you can tell us anything, J.” Andrew turns to look at his Kent while he’s speaking, and when he turns back to Jason, he nods, a knowing glimmer in his eyes. 

“What’s up?” His girlfriend’s brother leans forward, prepared to listen.

“I don’t know how to ask y/n to go to prom with me.” 

Andrew and Kent’s facial expression drop to a deadpan, and Jason’s eyebrows furrow in response, confused at their reaction. 

“What?” He looked back and forth between his two unimpressed friends, who suddenly burst into laughter; snickering and pointing fingers at him through wheezed words. 

“You’re fucking whipped,” Kent said, slapping a hand on Andrew’s shoulder and doubling forward.

“My sister,” their laughter calms down momentarily, “has you this upset?” And at his comment, the boys start laughing again, loud enough that it drags the attention of nearby tables. 

“Guys,” the corner of Jason’s lips struggle to stay down. “It’s not funny.” 

“Yeah, it is. Your panties are in a twist because of y/n,” Kent said, “Where is she?” He stands up from the bench and glances around the cafeteria, looking for her. 

Jason’s eyes widen, and his jaw drops, amazed at his friend’s response. “Dicks,” he mutters. “She’s with her English teacher, preparing for an exam.” 

Andrew’s chuckles die down again, and he shakes his head while rubbing his fingers on his forehead, grinning. “Deadass?”

“Yes!” Jason juts his head forward, nodding wildly. “Help me!”

Kent sits again, and places his chin on his palm. “Just go with what she likes, man.”

“Gee, thanks so much.” The stressed boy looks away, defeated.

Perhaps, it was a mistake bringing it up. Instead of receiving help, they were taking the piss out of him. He thought that maybe, because Andrew was related to the girl he was dating, he’d be a bit of hel-

“She keeps bugging me to take her to the aquarium.” 

Jason whips his head around to look at his friend, crossing his arms on the table and leaning with interest. 

“The aquarium?” He asks, eyebrows raising.

“Yeah, they remodeled a few exhibits and she’s been wanting to see them. Sent me a text about it a few days ago,” Andrew reached back to pull out his phone from his back pocket, unlocking it and pulling up a thread of texts from his sister. “Look.” 

The boy takes the phone from his friend’s hand. Y/n had sent her brother a link to the aquarium’s announcement of a reopening that occurred a few weeks before, along with ‘pleeease can we go? pleeease?’ and a puppy-eyed emoji. Andrew had only sent a curt ‘we’ll see’ to which the girl responded with screenshots of seals and penguins. 

A pang hit him straight in the heart, and he was saddened that she hadn’t asked him, given that he had refrained from taking her out in fear of distracting her from her studies. Yet, here she was asking to be taken to the aquarium, and Andrew showed no interest.  

“Take her. Ask her there. The only reason why I haven’t taken her is because she’ll ask for something from the gift shop and they’re expensive as fuck.” Andrew shrugged.

Bingo. 

With a composed look, he clicked off the phone and slid it back. On the inside, he was hopping up and down, pumping his arms with joy because everything had clicked, and he knew exactly what to do.

*                                                      *                                  *

Y/n still felt butterflies every time Jason looked at her.

Every girl wanted to be looked at by someone the way he looked at her.

A soft, dreamy daze that took over his face, eyes shining with an enamored gleam. Lashes fluttering adoringly, and lips coming together in a smirk, like he held all kinds of secrets and wanted to share them with her. His look alone said it all. I want you and only you.

It was overwhelmingly passionate. So intimate; an open admission with no shame. 

“You’re not even paying attention to me,” she whined, flopping over onto her back and throwing an arm over her head. 

They were- as usual- laying on Jason’s bed, with one of y/n’s textbooks spread open in front of them. 

“Can’t help myself,” he pushed up his glasses and raked his hair back. “You’re so pretty it’s distracting.” 

At that, y/n turned herself over so she laid next to Jason again, but her face was still nestled in the crook of her arm where her cheeks flamed. “Stop it,” she said, words muffled. 

“I’m serious.” She felt his weight dip on the bed, his hand coming to brush away hair that blocked the side of her face, and then puffs of air on her arm. Tilting her head so her eye peeked out, she saw that Jason’s mouth was hovering millimeters away from her skin, and when her eyes glanced up, an intense emerald gaze fixed on hers. “Like an angel, you are.”

Fire, heat, tingles littered the areas where his lips pressed against a trail into his skin. A blossoming feeling of affection imprinted onto her arm, and up to her cheek, where his lips lingered right underneath her lashes.

It became too much for her to handle, her heart and mind becoming muddled and confused through the overwhelming sensations that traveled throughout her nerves. Her cognitive senses seemed to refuse to acknowledge the difference between welcomed attention and… unwanted but forced attention. And, in efforts to prevent a hysteric scene or breakdown, she sprung up from her position, pressing a quick kiss into Jason’s cheek so he wouldn’t suspect anything, and sitting so she was almost completely off the bed. 

Jason watched her with… rejection. But, she wouldn’t know that because she refused to meet his eyes. Instead she said, “Have you got marshmallows in the cupboard?” 

“Uhh,” Jason cleared his throat, standing up and heading out of his room. “Yeah, I think so.”

She followed after him, shoulders hunched; ashamed. Mentally, she was pushing away repressed trauma from what seemed like yesterday. A haunting memory that refused to leave like paranoia. 

“Tiny ones or…?” He heads straight for the silver door knob next to the fridge, stepping in to squat at the lower shelves. Y/n stands in the doorway, hands awkwardly at her sides. 

“The big ones, please.” She doesn’t look up when he extends his hand to give her the fluffy white bag, and he doesn’t ask what's wrong.

Silently, y/n walks over to the kitchen island to pluck a skewer out of the drawer, and pops her hip to shut it. Jason lifts himself to sit on the countertop, his white shirt lifting to expose the pale sliver of skin that escaped from his grey sweatpants. Out the corner of her eye, she could see the enticing movement, and it caused her hands to shake, but she hid it in the twisting wrist movement of turning on the stove. 

A tearing noise comes from behind her, blending in with the clicking noises of the stove turning on. Jumping at the startling disruption, she turns to see Jason with an Oreo midway to his mouth. He gives her an open lipped smile, eyes wide as if shocked, and it makes her burst into a chuckle. 

“Can I get one?” She asked.

Wordlessly, he passed her a cookie. She took it, and it seemed that he purposely grazed his fingers over her palm. 

Y/n yanked her hand away like he’d burned her. 

Alarmed, Jason hops off the counter and moves to stand next to her.

“Y/n, is everything al-”

“Do you want a marshmallow?” She interrupted him, her breaths tense. 

“Uh, no.” He said, his head slightly shaking in disbelief at her actions. Had he done something wrong?

The girl stabbed the skewer through the white candy, and twirled it over the flames, the edges quickly turning a golden color. 

“Baby, what’s wr-” 

It catches fire, and her lips blow them off before it turns completely black, the fuh noise that escapes overpowering Jason’s gentle words. She was scared of breaking in front of him. She was scared to show him how much she was holding in.

“Can you hold this?” Voice small and squeaky.

He took the skewer out of her hands, holding it while she opened the oreo cookie. Knowing what she was gonna do, he gingerly placed the melted marshmallow on top of the frosting covered cookie, and pulled away when she sandwiched the top cookie on top.

Y/n takes a bite out of the treat, and relishes in the slightly burnt, woodsy taste of the white taffy and how it melts on her tongue and slides with ease down her throat. So much so, that a small noise of appreciation comes from the depths of her chest.

“S’good?” Jason asked, a breathy-uneasy- laugh whooshing through his nose.

She’s nodding before she looks up at him, and her head stills when she locks eyes with him. 

It’s the same, intense, focused look from before.

The one that promised so much. And it just- god she was so confused. 

So confused that she leaned forward to kiss him, disregarding the fact that- in that moment- she didn’t want affection. She needed a bit of distance and time to process her emotions.

 And instead of doing so, she lunged and connected herself to him in a smoldering embrace of their mouths. A sudden flood of inexplicable physical impressions, claiming, pleading.

Jason didn’t hesitate to respond, his hands appearing to cup at her cheeks, thumbs gingerly rubbing on the apples of her cheeks. He breathes deeply; a sharp inhale into her mouth that pulled his frame taught against hers. The forgotten treat pressed up against the divot of his pectoral muscles. 

The instant his tongue snaked into her mouth, he was bombarded with the warm and sweet taste of her mouth. Marshmallows and just her essence crowding over his taste buds; his nose also breathing in the fruity scent of her hair and woodsy burnt candy. Urgently, his lips suckled on her lower lip, y/n gasping at the sudden, ardent actions. 

Had she been any other girl, that would have been the night she finally let herself have sex with Jason. 

The mood was right; they were both bleeding mad for each other. 

But, y/n was y/n and that’s not how she was wired to go. Her mind began again with the confusion, her heart rate picking up double the rates from both the proximity of the boy and what was going to happen if the kiss continued. Did she want this? Fuck, of course she wanted this! Why was she…

“She’s not gonna do it because she’s a prude!” said one of the girls in the room. 

“No, I’m n-”

“Yeah, you are y/n. You’re a virgin. Probably wouldn’t even know what to do,” said the same girl.

Y/n had been invited to a party that the cheerleaders in her class were throwing, and boys from rival school had been invited to. They were all sitting in a circle- enough people to fill up the living room of a rich man’s house- playing a game of truth or dare, and they’d just gotten to y/n. 

She’d gotten dared to give one of the football players of the opposing school a blowjob… in the middle of the living room, with everyone watching. When they all saw her face fall, redden, and then pale,  no one wasted time to verbally pounce on her hesitance.

“Look at her! She’d pathetic Marcy, she’s not gonna do it.” The girl who invited her, Marcy, looked at her with a smirk. 

Embarrassed, and just numb to everything that was going on around her as well as what may come depending on her decisions. All she knew is that she needed to do this because she’d look bad if she didn’t. She didn’t want to be known as a prude. Even if she was a virgin. She didn’t want to be thought of badly. 

“Yes, I will.” Her meek reply had silenced the whole room.

“Come over here, and blow me.” Chris was a sophomore that was known for his promiscuous ways, and the fact that he had a big… that was evident when y/n came to kneel in front of him. 

Shaking, she sat in front of him with wide eyes, her back burning with stares and her heart pounding so hard she could feel it in her hands. 

Throughout it all, she felt disgusting. Ashamed. And unable to breathe because the guy wasn’t letting her come off, holding her down with a strong grip in her hair. Tears burned on her lashes and down her cheeks, partly from being unable to breathe, and the other because she was scared. 

God, she was so scared. What would happen to her when this got out? What then? When everyone knew what she’d done? There were more than enough witnesses present to attest that she’d given head to a guy she didn’t even know.

She’d felt a hand on her breast, and her eyes snapped open from their painful clench; alarmed. The guy sitting next to Chris had leaned over to touch her, and at her scared look he only laughed and continued to do it. His hand trailed lower and lower, and eventually she felt something hot spill down her aching throat. Her ears were ringing, her eyes bleary. 

Much of how she escaped had been... blurred through her panic.

But the feeling… that dreadful, terrorized feeling. It was what deer felt moments before being impacted by a car. 

She’d never forget it.

It was the same feeling creeping up on her then. The niggling, freezing, ambushed fear. It’s the reason why she pulled away from him, and said in a wet whisper, “I can’t.”

She hugs her arms across her chest, oreo still in hand, and turns away with her eyes dropped to the floor.  Y/n’s mind is reeling, utterly confused and just so scared scared scared.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jason asked, trailing after her to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. His lips are a dark shade of pink, the skin of his cheeks a flushed color; if one were to look down, they’d see the heather grey color of his sweatpants was slightly lifted. But his arousal was pushed aside by his concern towards the small girl, who shivered when his fingers grazed her shoulder. He could see her eyes were shut closed, but a tear escaped to roll down her cheeks, and at that the thick hairs of his brows dipped to crinkle on his forehead. “Y/n?”

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, her words hitching and cracking. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

Jason pulled her into his chest, his head shaking no no no to her apologies. “There’s no need to be sorry, dovie. It’s okay. You’re alright.” 

“But I am! I so sorry, Jason. I-” Her words died on her tongue, collapsed by a series of sobs that ruptured out of her lips. She was guilty. So so guilty. She felt like she was lying to him by not telling him of what had… occurred. 

“Baby, baby, hey. Y/n,” He pulled back to cup her face with his hands again, forcing her to gaze into his calm, forest eyes. “Listen to me. Deep breaths,” he began to inhale, his chest expanding with the intake of air. “You’re okay. I’m not mad at you for anything, dove.” 

“You don’t know what I’ve done,” Y/n sets the cookie on the counter, and goes to wipe at her eyes roughly, Jason tugging at her wrists and doing it himself, shushing her as he does. 

“Well I can’t be mad if I don’t know, yeah?” He gives her a small smile. “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“N-no,” she shakes her head. “No, I don’t.”

“Okay.” He nods, still smiling. “That’s okay. I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready.”

Y/n just nodded and gave him a sad attempt to seem happy, but her chin began to tremble, crinkles appearing underneath her lip, and she rushed to dig her nose in the crook of Jason’s neck. 

“Oh, sweetheart, I wish you’d tell me what’s got you so upset.” He murmured into her hair, his arms wrapping around her. 

“Please, Jason. I don’t wanna,” She sniffled. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Alright. I’ll stop asking. Don’t wanna stress you out anymore, dovie. You need a break as it is.” Jason rubs a warm hand up and down her back soothingly when he feels her nose dip into his collarbone. 

She sniffles some more, a slight hiccup in her breaths, and Jason continues, “speaking of breaks,” this catches her attention, and y/n tilts her head so she’s able to rest it in his shoulder and look up at his side profile. “Would you like to go to the aquarium with me next week?” 

At this, her head springs up so she’s eye level with Jason, her wet eyes gleaming as a surprised smile plays on her mouth. “The aquarium?” 

“Yes, the aquarium.” Jason laughed at her response, his eyes flitting between hers. The skin of his chin crinkled because he was looking down at her, and y/n wondered how he still managed to look so good with a double chin. “A little birdy told me you’ve been wanting to go.” 

Squealing, she said, “Oh my gosh, Jason please! Can we?!” 

Jason pressed a small kiss to her nose, “Of course, silly. It’s why I asked.”

“I’ve been asking Andrew but he….” she trails off, and her eyes become squinty, “heeey, did he tell you?” 

“Mayb-” She jumped suddenly at the feeling of her phone vibrating in her back pocket. The Simpsons theme song blaring through the quiet kitchen, and letting her know her brother was calling. Most likely to tell her it was time to come home. 

“I’ll go get your stuff,” Jason mumbled, separating himself with a wistful look in his eye. 

Y/n mumbled a ‘thank you’ and fished her phone out of her back pocket, pressing the green call button and holding it up to her ear.

“Hey, lover girl. Mom says it’s time to come home. See ya,” and he hangs up before y/n can even respond. 

Rolling her eyes, y/n heads upstairs to help Jason pack her stuff with all her troubles plaguing her heart like weeds.

*                                                      *                                  *

Y/n had eased up a little on her avid studying habits because the SAT had passed, and she studied hard enough that she wasn’t planning on re-taking the exam-- no matter the score. In addition to that, there was enough to place on her shelf to make her look… well, better than good. Years worth of community service work, volunteering, participating in and starting clubs, all about to finally pay off. It was surreal. Kinda stressful, too, but now that she had time off she wanted to decompress. Enjoy herself some. 

To begin with, much of it was taking time off with herself. Meaning, no Jason, or Andrew, or her parents. Just her. She didn’t even have to explain to Jason that she wanted to be alone because after her initial comment of taking time off alone, he’d kissed her palm and murmured about how proud he was against her skin. No bitterness or spite attached. He’d even made a joke about ‘bro time with Andrew’. 

The gym nearest to her house was offering a free month trial-- which just so happened to be the amount of time she was planning on taking to relax before starting to study for finals again-- and she took it up instantly when she found out that they offered yoga and guided meditation classes. It was most likely the best thing she’d ever done.

Apart from getting an hour of physical exercise a day (because yoga is harder than it looks) she was the most relaxed ever. Her sleep was the best it’s been in so long, and her body felt so light. Time to reflect, she’d decided, was very important.

 Plus, her self-esteem had gone up knowing she was doing something to better herself for* herself. 

For the most part, that was how most of her days went.

Go to school, sometimes she’d eat lunch with Jason, get a ride home from him (the goodbye kisses ignited her), head to the gym, come back home and fall right asleep. She took advantage of the first three periods to finish any work that she had to turn in.

It’s only logical that she’d be nervous the day of her date with Jason, since it hadn’t been on her mind at all, and she hadn’t been spending time with the boy so his presence has not consoled her. An anxious fervor had plotted itself in the depths of her belly, goading her like a devil on her shoulder. Better watch how you act, it said, or you’ll fuck this all up.

Jason was the same way. 

The poor boy had also taken to working out to release his...stress. Sleepless nights were spent with the weight-rack in his father’s home gym- arms aching from the strain of bench pressing. Shirtless torso draped in a sheen of sweat, flushed a pink color and littered with prominent veins as he pulled his body upwards, jaw clenched and mind focused, having already reached the point where he listens to his body’s begs for mercy. Rhythmic release of tense breaths escaped through the hard line of his lips, muscles defined under a glint of perspiration beneath the lights of the room, shorts low on his hips. His curls dripped salty beads down the line of his nose, and matted on his forehead. 

He lost himself in the repetitive movements, body going numb until his brain turned off. 

It was almost better than sex. Hell he did it to forget about sex.  

He swears his body chose to betray him every time he was getting ready to fall asleep, projecting filthy images of a girl so sweet, he felt guilty just humoring them. Swollen red lips, hot mouths, soft hands, perky breasts blotchy with his marks. These pictures were so explicit and vivid in his brain about y/n, who was nothing but sweet and kind, and had never come close to even insinuating the things he imagined. 

Hell on earth-- torture is what it felt like, having to ignore sticking a hand down his pants and pulling at himself until he found relief with such an innocent girl on his mind. It made him feel icky and gross because she was so pure. Jason preferred to turn to exhaustion of his body rather than pleasure. And, more often that not he greeted his father’s gym with a scowl and determination to distract himself, pushing himself until he was nothing but a breathless, strained heap laying all tired-out on the bench, salty beads running a path down his forehead and dripping down his neck where his shoulders drooped-- defeated.  

Waking up the next day was a burning adventure; muscles feeling as if they’d been shot through and pricked with needles over and over again.  

But, his dignity was still intact and he was able to look y/n in the eyes with no remorse. The one time he’d jerked off to her, he was a sweating, burning mess as he made his way up to her in the halls.

He’d learned his lesson then.

His nerves didn’t run as deep as y/n’s, but he did second guess himself the more intricate his plan got. Take a certain route, be there at a certain time so there wouldn’t be so full, alert the personnel of his presence. 

Jason had approached his mother, Anne, the night that she had come home, and questioned her about her friend’s sister that worked as a zookeeper, to see if she had connections to the aquarium. Turns out, she did and-and, 

“Honey, what’s the sudden interest in Penny’s sister?” She looked up at her son while chopping green onions. 

Stammering, he rubbed his neck and said, “I was kinda… wondering- maybe, uhm… you could call in a favor for-for me…”

“What for?” 

“I wanted to ask… y/n to prom at the uhm.. The aquarium,” his cheeks go pink and he can’t keep steady eye-contact with his mother. She’s smiling at him knowingly, smiling at him from underneath the lip of the wine-glass she holds up to her mouth. 

She smacks her lip, “Y/n? The prom? When did this happen?” Anne smirked at him, scraping the onions off the cutting board with a knife onto the pan. 

This would be the moment where the distraught teenage boy goes off on his mom for being absent and not knowing a single thing about him. Slam his firsts against the counter-top while sneering. 

But Jason loved his mother and they maintained good communication, so there would be none of that. “Start of February…” He bites his thumb.

The sound of sizzling onions is what fills in the silence of their gazes. His mother slowly nodded her head, and Jason blushing. 

“I knew it.” 

Jason furrowed his eyebrows at his mother’s statement. “What?” 

“I knew this would happen. I knew it the day she first came in with Andrew. The instant you said her name, I knew.” 

Jason furrowed his eyebrows at his mother’s statement. “What?” 

“I knew this would happen. I knew it the day she first came in with Andrew. The instant you said her name, and that look in your eye…” She gleamed at her son. “You love her, don’t you?” 

The boy gaped at his mother. Had he really been that transparent from the beginning? So much so that not even he had noticed his feelings? “You knew?” 

“Course I did. Pushed you out of me didn’t I? Know you like the back of my hand.” His mother set the glass down and continued cutting vegetables. “It’s a mother’s instinct to know when her boy has been swept off his feet.” A soft pat on the cheek meets a dazed Jason. “Now, what’s this favor you wanted?” 

*                                                      *                                  *

Y/n was scared to admit how deep her feelings were for Jason.

Scared to admit that the usual fluttering gnaw at her ribs had developed into an inferno that took over her entire body, centering at her heart and spreading through her nervous system, leaving her skin a tingling network of her emotions.

Basically, take puppy love, and remove ‘puppy’. She loved him. With her entire being and more she loved him. She could see her life with him more secure than anything in her life, which was a big admission because the poor girl was all about security. And Jason made her feel more comfortable than anything in her life at that moment; he made her forget about anything that wasn’t them together in that moment. 

The morning of their date was like one of those scenes in movies where the character just has that really big realization, and all her feelings hit her at once. Y/n pieced it all together in a few seconds. How much he meant to her, how she loved him* and how scary it would be if she were to admit her feelings and receive nothing in return. 

It was at cause of these thoughts that her nerves revved up to their max, mind overthinking different ways that her feelings might cause this date to go wrong. Like something might slip from her lips; a rushed, urgent proclamation of her devotion full of jumbled stutters and met with a stunned look and a freshly single boyfriend.

“Honey, Jason’s here!” Called her mother at the base of the stairs. 

Y/n watched herself grow pale in her reflection, teeth sinking in her bottom lip. No turning back now. 

“Coming!” She took one last look at herself, pulling on the sleeves of the cardigan she layered over the long, white-eyelet dress she was saving for an occasion like this. It was a light, summer material with white embroidered flowers and a nice frilly detain around the waist. The creme cardigan served no purpose other than the fact that she was nervous, and covering up calmed her down. There wasn’t much to cover, but bare shoulders made her heart want to start a riot, screaming at her that people were looking and it was time to get anxious about whether she looked good or not. 

She forced herself to tear her eyes away from the dewy makeup on her face, drawing her mind away from picking at it until it was perfect because it would never be that and it’s okay. Instead, she focused on what lay ahead of her for the day— and maybe that was a tad bit worse but that didn’t matter because she was already in the witch’s pot and the brew was boiling— her date with Jason looming with possibility. Not to mention, she’d finally be getting to see the newly added exhibits she was longing to see. 

Cute baby sea lions, penguins and jellyfish that quickly outweighed all the disastrous scenarios filling her mind. 

Skipping down the steps with an eager smile on her lips, y/n struggled to hold in all her happy squeaks because downstairs Jason was waiting for her and-

“There she is!” Her mother greeted her at the base of the stairs, and winked at her daughter with a smile, a cheeky expression displayed upon the fact that what was happening was a surprising event. Her little y/n going out on a date with none other than her favorite out of Andrew’s friends, Jason.

This would have been the moment in the movies where everything freezes and everyone else disappears. The camera comes to a zoom in on Jason and y/n’s faces, the screen split in half but it the same, dreamy, loved-up expression on both their faces. Y/n’s cheeks warmed with a soft flush and a cheek splitting grin on her mouth, lips that shined with the gloss she had put on them, and eyes that shined under the kitchen lights with an extra sparkle that had floated up from her chest that had become the cavern where she shoved all her emotions.

Jason is equally stunned, unsure of how his girlfriend could get any more beautiful. Bunny teeth on full display, hands in the pockets of his blue jeans. He wore a satin bomber jacket with a tiger on the lower right side of his abdomen that was perched on snow-capped mountains that stretched up to his chest, a swooping eagle on his left breast. Two buttons were left unclasped, the collar of a white under-shirt peeking out, and the dip of his breast-bone on display, highlighted by the glint of the golden cross necklace his grandmother had given him when he was eight.

Meanwhile he took in the sight of her, y/n did the same as well, eyes roaming all over his figure and settling on the eyes that were already set on hers. He loved how she turned a pretty bothered color when they locked dreamy gazes. How her demeanor changes to shy glances when he smiles at her all toothy- his dimples prominent on his cheeks. The boy straightened, looking proud to be able to take her on a date. 

“Well are you guys gonna stare at each other all day, or go to the aquarium?” Andrew asked. He was standing at the kitchen entrance, a bag of Cheetos in his arm, and one cheek bulging with chips. 

“Andrew!” His mother playfully swatted his bicep. “Be nice! You’ll be the same, just wait.”

“Ready to go?” Jason asked, giving a sluggish nod towards the door, his being still transfixed in y/n, who nodded equally as slow even though her heart raced a mile a minute. “Alright, let’s go then. I’ll bring her home before 10, Mrs. Y/L/N.” Y/n walked towards the hand that Jason stretched out for her to grab, her hand swimming in his. It suddenly made sense why he was able to launch a football 400 meters. His hands were big, with a wide palm and nimble fingers that wrapped around hers, the top of it striped with the pleasing ridged of his veins. 

“Bye, hunnies! Have fun…. But not too much fun!” The mother clutched at her chest, her eyes soft at the sight of Jason opening the door for her daughter. 

“Ew, mom!” Andrew said, crumbling the bag to a close and retreating up the stairs, presumably to his room. He stopped at the base, and turned to say, “And I’ll be here, the brother forgotten by this best friend, woe is me!” 

His friend twisted around with a hand on the doorknob, “You know I love you, babe!” 

Andrew said something stupid along the lines of ‘show me, ya stud!’ before his mother shushed him up and waved at the couple that it was okay to leave, approaching the doorway to lock up.

Y/n peeked sideways at Jason, finding him already looking at her with a cheeky smirk. 

“Caughtcha looking,” He said, taking hold of her hand again and giving it a mall squeeze, leaning over to peck her cheek. “Missed you, y/n.”

She wanted to stop and pull him in by both sides of his face to smash their lips together, but she knew that her mom was probably watching through the window. “Wanna kiss you good so bad, but my mom’s probably watching through the window and I don’t wanna hear about it later.” 

“It’s okay, baby, I know. Wanted to ravish you when I saw you coming down the stairs, but that’s not the most appropriate thing to do when my girlfriend’s mom is present, is it?” They reached his car, and he sped up slightly to open the door for her, placing a hand on the small of her back. The grip on her phone increased at the sudden warmth on her body, her mind jumping to dirty assumptions on where this could lead to. 

She got in the car with a quiver in her belly, and it jolted away when Jason shut the door behind her. What was she thinking? Their relationship was built upon glances and sly touches, and how she was flustered in a non-sexual way over him? Strongly?

“Did you wanna get food anywhere before?” He said when he opened the door to his side, leg hiking up and to the side to take a seat. “Dunno ‘bout you, but I’m really really craving those chicken-avocado paninis from that one little coffee shop, and I know you really like their milk tea, what do you say?”

“I say that’s a really good idea.” Y/n said, nodding with a pinch on one side of her face, her true feeling hidden. Eyes trained at the way he held the steering wheel; one hand at 12 while he turned the key into the ignition. Maybe he would hold her neck while the other rubbed at her…

What the fuck? She needs to cut it out. 

Clearing her throat and looking out the window she said, “I could definitely go for a milk tea right now…”

“Yeah? Are you excited for today?” He twists to check behind him before pulling out of his parallel position to the curb, and y/n uses that moment to glance at the smooth skin of his neck, imagining how it would feel underneath her fingertips… her mouth…

“Yes,” She chokes, saliva collecting at the back of her tongue and slipping through. There’s a small pause where she coughs, and Jason plucks a bottle of water from the glove compartment, the back of his hand grazing her knees and the tops of her thighs, which only makes her cough harder. 

“Are you okay, my love? Here,” using the flat of his wrist to take hold on the steering wheel while he opened the bottle, “drink some. I don’t want you to die before you’ve seen the jellyfish.” 

A feeble ‘thank you*’ left her lips before the water bottle occupied it. The liquid washed out anything that had agitated her, and she drank extra to fill the time for at least a few more seconds. She was terrified of doing something wrong. 

The car was pulling up the parking lot of their local cafe when she placed the bottle in the cup holder between them. Jason didn’t have a clue what was going through her head, or the fact that he should be concerned because her thoughts had traveled to him fingering her while she made a mess of his seat. He was simply so grateful to be spending time with the girl who he loved. 

Who he loved.

The boy had realized the extremities of his regards after his mother had spoken them aloud. 

You love her don’t you?

Yes, yes he did. He had known that it was there. The guzzling, spritzy feeling he felt over his chest- like when a sip of a freshly opened can of Sprite goes down your throat- when he saw her, felt her touch, thought about her, had always been there. Always. It was there the day he bumped into her outside of the locker room, her tiny frame going unnoticed when he rounded the corner of the locker room where she was waiting for her brother because he was busy texting some girl, but the moment he heard a squeaky ‘oh, I’m so sorry!’, it was there. 

In some aspects, Jason was a bit dense, and this was one of them. He didn’t act when he should’ve. Or at least recognized what was going on in that broad chest of his-- he doesn’t think he would’ve acted because Andrew wouldn’t have held back. They hadn’t developed such a strong bond to come to the understanding that they did (Jason had made a really bold statement about life long partners and Andrew had been too blown away to stay mad). 

Jason loved y/n, and he always would; that was just facts.

“Wanna stay in here or go inside with me?” He asked her, taking the key out and placing a hand on the door. 

She was lightning quick to say “With you!” a bashful look overcoming her when he looked at her all knowingly, like he could see right through her. “I’ll go with you so you don’t have to carry everything,”  y/n blubbered in efforts to reclaim her dignity, and stepped out of the car. 

He feigned being hurt, “Owie, that stung. Are you saying I’m not strong?” Jason followed after her, a playful pout in his lips, “Tell you what,” he placed an arm around her neck, tugging her close to him and putting his lips by her ear, “I can carry you and the food, at the same time.”

Tables with umbrellas were located at the front of the cafe, people sitting with their computers open or having a chat with friends. Some looked up, some didn’t, but the stares of those who did made y/n feel thousands of times shyer than what she felt. 

The girl couldn’t help but squeeze the fabric of her sweater around herself, her thoughts getting the best of her, the feeling of his lips an enticing action that drove her mad…

He knew it too, chuckling to himself as he opened the door. 

Inside, only a single person made up the line for ordering, and she was already in the process of giving the man her card to pay. Jason and y/n stood side by side, looking up at the menus as if they were thinking over their choices, but really just thinking about each other. 

“Nex- Well, well, well.”

Y/n doesn’t think she had ever forgotten that voice. And hearing it ten, with Jason at her side, brought back the fear she hadn’t even begun to overcome. Her face went white, her lungs freezing, and her feet glued to the ground. 

Shock, was the medical term for it. 

When your body is submerged into temperatures it can’t handle, it goes through a series of procedures to attempt survival. It begins to slow down to conserve energy, shutting down to keep in heat, or await help. Hearts slow, lungs slow, and in extreme, abrupt situations, a person can faint. 

At the appearance of Chris after nearly an entire year, y/n wanted to faint. She wished she had, that way she wouldn’t have to endure Jason’s confused glances, and Chris’s malicious, salacious smirk. 

“Y/n, long time no see, baby.” He said, a piece of gum that he had hidden in his cheek appearing as he started to chew, leaning forward on the counter and giving Jason a once over. “Who’s that?” 

Jason’s eyebrows furrowed at the audacity this guy had, calling his girl ‘baby’. Y/n wasn’t looking at him, she couldn’t- she wasn’t aware of what was happening anymore, retreated into deep parts of her brain- but had she, she would’ve seen a bone-chilling, intimidating look of dominance in his usually kind green eyes. “I’m her boyfriend, who are you?” He said, stepping forward so his thighs were flush with the edge of the counter. His body was pulled tight like the strings on a violin, one pluck away from releasing a disastrous melody. 

Y/n’s eyes began to tear from not blinking them, her heart going from beating normal to beating so hard she could feel it in her fingertips, her stomach dropping like it had been ripped to her feet. 

“Who am I?” Chris licked the inside of his cheek, and y/n gagged. Repulsed, her feet tripped over themselves in attempts to get to the trashcan by the pickup site. “There wasn't even anything in your mouth, babe! Guess that thing they say about muscle memory is true, huh?”

Jason didn’t pay attention to the last thing that he said because he ran over to hold his girlfriend’s hair, rubbing her back and whispering that ‘it’s okay, my love, take deep breaths’. Her body started to tremble when nothing came out, her eyes emitting actual tears now, feeling undeserving of Jason’s affection because of what she’d done.

“I’m so-rry,” she whispered, her face a splotchy, red color that made him panic on the inside at what could plague her. “Can we go?” 

“Yeah,” He nodded quickly, no questions asked.”Yeah, let’s go.” 

Y/n shot up then, practically running out of the store while Chris laughed a belly-clenching laugh that pushed her out further. Jason looked back at him once, anger on clear display because whatever the guy had done, it was bad if it made her this upset.

When he turned around, y/n’s figure was disappearing  through the view of the store’s window, arms clutching herself as she ran to the parking lot. There were more stares than when they first arrived when he ran out after her with a call of her name. 

“Y/n!” He turned the corner to see her yanking violently at his door handle, tears streaming continuously down her cheeks now. Her shoulder jerked back and pushed forward until her knuckles collided on the material of the car. She was hurting herself. “Hey!” He yelled, yanking her back and wrapping his arms around her torso to restrict her movements. 

She thrashed for a few seconds, sobs leaving her until she went limp, which was when he let her go. His eyes were wide with concern, not being able to believe what had just happened. 

“Dovie? Look at me, dovie,” With a curled finger, he gently encouraged her to look at him. Irritated, doe eyes blinked with...  fear. 

“Do you want me?” Were the words that left her mouth in a breathy tremble. 

“I always want you,” Jason said, not hesitating to respond to her abrupt inquiry. His thick brown eyebrows were still knitted, however, and she knew that she owed him answers. As much as she couldn’t bring herself to give them up, y/n said,

“Would you want me even if I was used?” She shut her eyes tight, not being able to bear looking at him. It felt as if she were the one using him then, comforted by his presence, but lying to him as well. 

He scoffed, head shaking. “Yes. Even then I’d still love you.” Jason’s composure remains the same,neither alarmed or shocked that he had let it ‘slip’ past his lips because he hadn’t. He loved her and he told her. 

Y/n, on the other hand, burst into tears and dropped her head, her forehead on his chest, chanting a pathetic, “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you.”

“Y/n, I need you to tell me what just happened,” He crooned into her ear, his lips kissing her head in attempts to show his affection to comfort her, “Let me help you.” 

She shook her head, and the gold zipper of his sweater scratched her forehead when she did. “No. No, I’m sorry.” She looked up at him, her voice pleading, “I don’t want to ruin our date. Can I tell you after?” Jason looked at her with lips pressed into a firm line. “Please.” She begged.

“Not gonna ruin our date, dovie,” He kissed her right cheek, and her eyelid, the bridge of her nose, and nudged his forehead against hers, “Spent so much time waiting for you, that I’m not gonna let a silly thing break us apart. I’m willing to fight, y/n. I already have.” He fumbled behind her, unlocking the door and propping it open before he pressed a kiss to her lips. A deep press that conveyed everything he just said. I love you.

A shaky, relieved breath left her when they parted, her eyes still shut when he said, “Get in the car, my love,” with another, plushy kiss to her lips before he stepped back to see her get in the car. Her eyes opened slowly to see him smiling at her, no trace of anything strange in his eyes- like he had forgotten everything that happened in the past 10 minutes. 

Y/n mumbled an ‘okay’ and got inside, putting on his seat belt as he closed the door and walked over to his side. She wondered if this was it, if this was her messing up and at the end of the day she would be crying into her pillow because he’d broken up with her. If e was just playing nice because that was just Jason, his MO.

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice that he had turned on the radio until he started singing along to it. An oldies station that he always had on if there wasn’t any music coming from his phone. It was in the middle of Prince’s Nothing Compares 2 U to which Jason didn’t hesitate to start singing. 

“I went to the doctor’s and guess what he told me, guess what he told me,” he looked over at her while he was singing, a playful look in his eyes, and he shimmied his shoulders. It was a classic ‘sing to your girlfriend so she’ll never forget this song and always associate this song with you’ moment. 

“I went to the doctor’s and guess what he told me, guess what he told me,” he looked over at her while he was singing, a playful look in his eyes, and he shimmied his shoulders. It was a classic ‘sing to your girlfriend so she’ll never forget this song and always associate this song with you’ moment. 

“He said girl you better try to have fun no matter what you do,” his singing voice was a direct reflection on his character, smooth like honey, but deep and slightly scratchy like the comfort of burning wood, “but he’s a fool.” 

Just then, his voice gets a little louder, “Cause nothing compares to you.” He placed a hand on her knee, his lips forming an exaggerated ‘o’ shape on the ‘you’. Jason was clearly singing to her, his eyes flickering from the road to her as a sweet gesture to direct his words to her. 

Y/n sniffled and laughed, using her finger to trace the veins on the back of Jason’s hands, looking up at him while he sang to her. She had the sudden urge to reiterate what he had confessed in the parking lot. How it swelled in her chest, and consumed her. 

But she couldn’t. It was hard and she didn’t know why. Maybe it was because he didn’t know the whole truth about her. Instead she wrote it on his hand. Her caresses going from random to spelling out letters on his knuckles. He noticed this. How the movements were calculated now, and the singing stopped. Green eyes went from the road to her eyes, to the road to their hands.

I love you, too.

She wiped her hand over his when she finished, and didn’t dare look up at him, so she looked out the window but left her hand in his hold. He brought it up to his lips, and kissed her knuckles, rubbing his lips over them repeatedly.

*                                                      *                                  * 

Jason stepped out of the car, and took long, quick strides over to her door, y/n admiring how long and muscular his legs looked in his jeans. He pulled the door open, leaning back so the door could swing past his torso, but staying relatively close to the car, giving her just enough space to get out. Y/n didn’t think anything of it, until she stood, and was face to face with his face, her nose swamped with the toned down scent of fresh, spring scented body wash merged with the soft smell of his skin. 

Given how close she was, she could see the lines on his cupid's bow where his skin color changed from a golden tint to the strawberry of his lips. 

“Can you kiss me properly now, baby?” He said, voice low and raspy. Hands came to flatten on the hood of his Prius, caging her in so she was close to his torso. A blush formed from the way he stared at her mouth like he was starved. 

“P-properly?” She muttered, her hands taking purchase on his hips, and smoothing up his sides, the material cool under her hands. 

“Yeah,” He licked the inside of his cheek, his head tilting, “Like this.”

Jason pushed forward until her back hit the car, and their hips were flush, y/n’s hands stuck between them, but she maneuvered them to she could palm at his chest, her nails digging in like cat’s claws when his lips found their way together, pillowed between each other in a passionate embrace that warmed her to her toes. 

“Mmph, baby ‘ya marking me with your fingers,” He spoke in a sotto voice, heavy breaths and wet noises of their smacking lips resonating through their ears.

It took everything in her not to moan, and she knew that if they kept going it would be inevitable, so she unclenched her hands with a reluctant squeak, and ducked her head into his neck. Breath hot on his neck, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no, no. I… uhm, I liked it, my love. You didn’t do anything wrong, don’t be shy.” He flexed his jaw, his eyes rolling at the back of his head at recalling the feeling of her hands- dainty and small, and sweet,, and god* it was just her*- clawing at his chest. Jason dipped forward, and kissed her neck. His lips staining her skin with scorching heat, the soft skin creating a magnetic force between them. 

She moaned at that, her teeth scratching at his neck tentatively.  “Stop it,” Her head felt floaty, her limbs soft, “Wanna see the fishies and the way that you’re…” “The way that I’m what, dovie?” He’s stunned by her moan, his brain haywire. “Tell me.”

“The way you’re talking is gonna me make me wanna stay here, and I really wanna see the fishies. Please?” She’s whining; voice an embarrassingly high pitched tone. Her hands gripped the collar of his sweater for stability because her knees were shaking. 

“Alright. Alright, let’s go see the fishies, baby.” Jason pecks her one last time at the juncture of her neck, and takes a step back to grab her hand. “Come on.”

*                                                      *                                  * 

 “So, they’ve got McDonald’s, Tam’s Burgers, Ruby’s Diner, and Sushi.” Jason holds a tri-fold directory of the aquarium in one hand, and y/n’s hand in the other. 

“Sushi? At an aquarium?” She skews half her face to the side like she tasted something sour. 

“I know right?” He copies her face, “The irony. Up for burgers? It’s all they’ve got.” 

Y/n’s stomach grumbled at the mention of food, and she giggled when Jason noticed and laughed at her. “Burgers sound good,” she said, rubbing her stomach comically.  Although she was still heated by their earlier interaction, both were pretending like nothing happened, and like they didn’t have a big thing waiting for them at the end of the day.

Like she wasn’t going to reveal how sh-

“Anything for you, baby.” Jason Jason held up the tri-fold again and blew out of his lips as he made out the route to Tam’s burgers. 

When they both got there, they ordered the same thing: one cheeseburger with a vanilla milkshake. Oh, and they were sharing chili cheese fries.

It was the epitome of a perfect date for a young couple in love. They chose to sit on the same side of the booth because they were greedy to get everything they could from each other. Unnecessary touches were made more than the amount of things they said to each other. Him brushing hair behind her each, hand on her thigh, rubbing her cheeks, feeding her, wiping her mouth, her arm hooked through his, pecking his cheek after a sip of her milkshake, nudging his feet with hers, caressing his thigh. It was on the rubbing his thigh part where things would get slightly heated, and Jason would stop to kiss her, licking into her mouth to taste the vanilla that was also on his tongue.

Jason paid for their meal, much to y/n’s begging, and then walked her over to the penguin exhibit.

“Heard one of their eggs just hatched, and I want you to see it.” He said, swinging their hands between them.

“Really?” She asked, her features lifted with excitement. “Well then let’s go!” Y/n ran ahead of him, looking back at him and pulling at his arm. Laughing, they swerved around people and ran past the large tank that represented the reef ecosystem, blue light from the sun that streamed through the top of the tank dancing on their skin like shadows. It was a magical moment, even though they looked like weirdos. In their head they were in their own movie, their own world.

 “Jason, honey? Is that you?” A woman in green cargo shorts and the customary blue shirts with the aquarium’s logo on the left breast called from the inside of the penguin expedition. She had raven black hair in a low bun, and red lipstick paired with a bright smile. She was feeding the animals from  two buckets on the edge of the pool where they were jumping in. 

“Hey, Janet!” Jason called out, waving from behind the glass barrier. “Long time no see, have you gotten younger?” 

She laughed and turned around, walking through an archway and disappearing from view. A male walked out, and smiled towards the couple, nodding once and turned his attention towards the penguins. He whistled once, and they all came to him, huddling around him expectantly.

Then he bent downwards and placed the back of his hand on the penguins tummy, pressing back and they waddled backwards. He did the same to four others, pressing them so they were in a straight line, and they stayed where he placed them. Janet came out then, with black objects in her arms. 

“What are they….” Y/n asked, confused as to what was going on because she had been to this aquarium several times and had never seen such things. “... doing?” 

Janet removed one of the items from her chest, and y/n could see that they were large letters. A ‘P’ which she placed at the feet of the first penguin. ‘R’ on the one following. They rested against their bellies, and after an initial peck at it, they left it alone and watched their keepers expectantly, presumably for food. ‘O’ followed, then ‘M’. And as the question mark was being laid on the last penguin, Jason turned to watch his girlfriend’s face, waiting for the realization to hit. It didn’t take very long.

“Oh my gosh, Jason, look! Look it spells prom!” She pointed at it excitedly, a smile from ear to ear as she looked on at the animals, amused by their antics. She looked over at him to share her glee, and found him watching her with a dreamy smirk. “Look at the animals! Why are you looking at me like that?”

���Will you go to prom with me?” 

Y/n’s jaw dropped, the full realization hitting her. This had been planned, more specifically, Jason had planned this. “You did this?” She asked. Looking back and then at him again as he nodded slowly, still waiting for an answer. She stood there for a moment, stunned, and after a blink she jumped into his arms. “Yes! Yes! Yes, I want to go to prom with you!” 

He didn’t waste any time in wrapping his hands around her waist and twirling her around, laughing. Kissing her cheek, he set her to her feet and she was watching him with bleary eyes, a pout on her lips. “You did this for me?” 

“Technically, my mom did, but yes. Had her call in for me. Did you like it?” He put his hands in the pocket of his bomber jacket, his lips puckered as he tried to conceal a proud smile. 

“I love it, so much, Jason I-” She’s left speechless, and she glances up at the animals again, where Janet and the other keep were throwing fish at them. “Thank you.” The tips of her fingers came to cover her mouth, tears of joy threatening to slip. 

“Don’t cry, dovie. You weren’t supposed to cry,” he cooed, slipping his hands out again to wipe at the tears that fell down her cheeks.

“Shut up and kiss me,” Leaning up on her tip-toes, y/n abruptly yanked at his jacket, and crushed their lips together. 

“There we go! Your mother would love this!” Janet whooped, and her cheers caused the couple to split from each other with red faces, laughs covering their embarrassment. 

“Hush up, and let me kiss my girl will ya?” Jason pointed a finger at her and pretended to scowl. “We’re leaving to somewhere where we can smooch in peace!” Nearby people laughed at his jokes.

“Bye, sweetie! Tell your mother I said hello!” She waved goodbye, and returned her attention to the penguins at her feet. 

Y/n waved a goodbye along with Jason, yelling a ‘thank you’ as she walked away. Her brain was still trying to process what had happened when they turned the corner and walked into the new exhibit of the darker layers of the ocean. A long, winding hallway where the only light was the glow coming from the bio-luminescence animals in the water. 

An influx of serotonin swimming through her veins, squeals leaving her where she noticed where they were. 

“The jellyfish!” She left Jason’s side to stand in front of the large glass. An abundant amount of jellyfish bobbed up and around each other at slow, hypnotizing speeds. Glowing, long tentacles swaying in their trail; networks of veiny light streams present in each of them. The blue hue reflecting off of her skin, and onto the pane where it showed her amazed reflection.

“They’re beautiful,” she mumbled. Jason caught up, and stood besides her, his figure also appearing on the glass pane that held the jellyfish. “I could watch them all day.” 

His eyes drifted from the jellyfish to her side profile, admiring how ethereal she looked in that moment. Her face was soft with curiosity and wonder. “Me too.”

“You’re not even looking at them.” She gives him a side-eye glance. 

“I know.” He turned so his feet pointed to her, and combed his hair back because a few curls were tickling his forehead. “Can’t believe I’m gonna have the prettiest girl as my prom date.” 

Y/n’s nostrils flared and she sucked in her lips to suppress a smile. “Stop it.”

“S’true. Everyone’s gonna be so jealous of me.” He sucked in a breath, “Gonna have to hold on to you so no one steals you from me.” 

She knows he means every word that leaves his lips. And that the words are meant to tickle her heart with their honesty. While they do so, they also break it. Y/n thinks she’s living a lie. Not her relationship with him, but the way she acts and portrays herself. So much of herself, she kept hidden. It hurt knowing that he was being so genuine, and she wasn’t. It hurt more than knowing he could break up with her if he knew the truth. 

So, she decided to come clean. Even though they decided on the end of the day, her conscience wasn’t letting her live. 

“Jason, I have something to tell you.” She said, her throat closing up on the second syllable of his name, and crying by the end of her sentence. 

The boy brings his palm to her lower back, and moves his thumb up and down comfortingly. “Deep breaths, y/n. I’m listening.” 

“That boy?” She tilts her chin so she’s looking at him, and he nods when they make eye contact. “From the cafe? I knew him from a party.” Deep breath. “We were playing truth or-” a sob leaves her, shoulders sagging as her composure breaks. 

Jason raises his hand from her back to her shoulder, and steps closer so she’s pressed against his chest. “It’s okay. I’m right here, baby. I’m not leaving you. Take your time.” 

It would’ve been a lot more embarrassing if people were passing, but they were the only ones there. Had there been someone, they would’ve seen a terribly emotional y/n and a very concerned Jason. 

A creeping feel of panic like the one from that night teased her toes, anxiety of her confession crawling up her spine. But she had to push through. She needed to get this off her chest. 

“We were playing truth or dare, and… and I got dared t-to suck him off in front of everyone else,” another hiccup interrupts her words, and she had to stop to take a deep breath like Jason said, giving him an ashamed, fleeting glance.  Not long enough to see that his eyes were wide with astonishment, eyebrows furrowed with bubbling rage.

“What?” He said, more on the rhetorical side to encourage her to keep talking. His mind kept jumping back to the guy at the cafe and the way he said ‘there wasn’t anything in your mouth, babe’ with a knowing look in his eyes. How he practically violated her with his eyes. Rage filled him; all he wanted to do was punch the guy in the face. 

Anger made itself present in his stunned comment, and y/n took it as a disgusted comment. She jumped to explain herself, “I didn’t want to do it! I swear I didn’t put they started calling me names, a-and I didn’t want them to be upset with me so I-” another collapse of her words, chest rising and falling with desperate breaths. The panis increased, rising up to her chest and gripping like a boa. 

Jason knew that she needed reassurance on that moment and said, “Sh, sh Dovie, deep breaths. It’s alright, I know you didn’t, my dove. That’s called peer pressure.” 

It was clear that this was something she struggled with for a long time, and it hurt him so much inside that he had so blindly lived in the presence of her pain. Held her, touched her, and never noticed that she was so deeply in pain. The anger in him became a mix of bitter remorse at the fact that he had done nothing to push at her, or present himself in a way that showed she could trust him. He was unaware he was crying too until his own vision became blurry with moisture. 

“I left right after he… after he…. Because the other boys started touching me, too. That was when you found me under that tree. Remember?” Shiny doe eyes glimmered with the light that came off the jellyfish at him. They seemed to beg him for forgiveness, for understanding that she was sorry.

“Yes, sweetheart I remember.” Soft fingers crawl up her cheek, caressing like silk at the tears that still fell. Kisses were littered in her temple with strong pressure, a display of his comfort. “Oh, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, baby. It’s not your fault.” 

“I should have said no. I should’ve l-left or something…”

“No. No, y/n this wasn’t your fault. This wasn’t on you. You were under pressure, and they were bullying you as well… Oh my god, baby, this- You don’t want to tell authorities?” 

“No! No, no, Jason I can’t l-let anyone find out I did…” Her eyes shut with distaste, “That. Please, don’t tell anyone.” 

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” He nods.

“Do you still want me?” Her cross, and her nails dig into her arms. Y/n bowed her head and sniffled. Jason took note of this, and pried her hands off so she wouldn’t bleed. His heart clenched at the tone of desperation in her voice. It hurt him to even think that he’d leave her so easily, and his words came out more emotionally tainted than he would’ve wanted.

“Y/n look at me.” His hand cupped her cheek, and the other held both of her wrists. She wrapped her hands around his wrists and squeezed him tightly. “I’m not leaving you. Can’t you understand that I love you, baby? I’m not leaving you, not now.”

“God, Jason. I don’t deserve you.” Y/n leans into his touch, sniffling.

“No, dovie. You’ve got that all twisted. It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.  You’re so good to me, so kind, and sweet,and I’m so so sorry thing happened to you. But it’s gonna be okay, yeah? We can work through this, I’ll be there by our side. I won’t leave.” The boy followed after her eyes, wanting to maintain eye contact with her, but she was shifty with her gaze. He wanted to be able for her to see-- in his eyes-- that he meant every word.

“I love you.” Y/n jumped into his chest and wrapped her hands around his neck, happy to be free of guilt, and blissfully happy that she had Jason. That he loved her, and she was able to tell him that she loved him.

After a moment of just standing in each other’s arms, head’s buried in each other’s neck with Jason muttering into her ear just how much she meant to him, they stepped back  to look at the other, and y/n laughed halfheartedly, wiping at her eyes and underneath her nose. Quiet ‘thank you’s were exchanged and they took one last good look at the jellyfish in silence. Y/n suggested they go home, and Jason said he wanted to stop by the gift shop first. Something about how how he needed a polar bear to hold onto at night.

In reality, he bought her the sea otter she wouldn’t stop petting, and a key chain with the date engraved on it. He didn’t give these to her until they were in front of her house, and he reached into the bag behind her seat.

“These are for you.” He said, placing the stuffy on her lap, and the key chain on her open palm. “A memoir. The first time we said I love you... among other things.” 

His tone was serious, mouth set in a grim line, but y/n was smiling.

“I knew something was up when you told me to wait outside. Thank you.” Leaning over the console, they both met each other halfway, and kissed each other goodbye. At the first taste of her lips, he removed his hands from the steering wheel in favor of having them on her face, holding her too him a few seconds longer than she usually would have let herself stay kissing.

“You’re welcome, dovie. I love you.” He said, pecking her lips once more, and then her nose, making her laugh through her nose. “I’ll see you tomorrow, but I’ll call you tonight. Yeah?”

“Yeah. I love you, too.” She opened the door, and waved once more at her boyfriend who smiled at her from inside the car.

Y/n was slightly upset over he fact that he hadn’t gotten out to walk her up the steps, and in any other situation, he would’ve. But out of his eagerness, Jason waited until she was inside, and lifted his hips to get his phone out of his pocket, calling the one person he knew would have his back if he wanted to set things straight.

It rang three times before he picked up.

“Andrew. It’s an emergency. Come over to my house tonight. Don’t let anyone see you leave.”

[butterbuni]

♥ Chapter 5 ~ Recommendation Entrance Exam P1 ♥

Previous Chapter

"You will have 30 minutes to prepare for your written exam, you may converse and study with one another but there will be no conversations during the test. You may start." Cementoss said leaving the stage. I couldn't stop smiling. I am actually here about to take the exam.

I couldn't help smiling like an idiot. I looked around the auditorium, there were so many more people than I expected. At least a 50 by the looks of it.

God this is nerve-racking. I reached into my backpack pulling out the study guide Star made for me. I have to remember to thank him till the end of time. I wonder how he is doing in his exam. Probably acing it like a pro. I hung my head down in defeat. Why is school so hard? I can ace almost anything else but for things like math or chemistry, my mind just stops working.

"Hello" I looked up towards the voice. It was a rather tall girl with beautiful black hair tied up into a ponytail. I gave her a small smile and said "Hello I'm L/N Y/N but please call me Y/N I'm not a fan of formalities" "I am Yaoyorozu Momo, I noticed you were looking quite upset. May I ask why?" She sounded genuinely concerned, she seems so nice. "I just don't feel prepared for this test I feel like I'm going to fail. I am more of a hands-on person rather than a thinker and it just ugghhh" I placed my head on my unopened study guide.

"Maybe I can help you study we still have 25 minutes before the test starts and I could use a study buddy for the time being." I perked my head up to her smiling face. Wow, she's pretty. My brain fart disappeared as I realized what she said. My head straightened a huge smile was plastered on my face "Really you would help me!" "shhhhhhhhhhhh!" A guy behind me who looked like a skeleton with hair. "Sorry I will be quieter" God this is so awkward where is Star when you need him.

"I would love for you to help me it would mean a lot. thank you." She sat down next to me and pulled out her own study guide it was much thicker than mine. She really came prepared. I decided to just scrap my study guide and we went over stuff in hers.

~Shoto's POV~

"Really you would help me!" I looked up from my book to see who was yelling at this time. It's that girl from earlier. She's so unprofessional I thought she would be with the other kids in the regular entrance exam. She obviously doesn't do well in school so why is she even here? I need to focus on this test. I looked back down at my guide. If I want to become a hero I need to pass.

~Back to Y/N~

She makes the work sound so easy way better than Star. If he meets her, I'm pretty sure he will try and challenge her to an intelligence match. I am so glad I met her before the test. Maybe we both get in and see each other in school.

There was a ring indicating that the study session was over. Cementoss came back to the stage as the whole auditorium got quiet. "Everyone please move so there are three seats separating you from other testers." "Good luck Y/N you worked hard so you will be able to pass," Momo said as she moved three seats away. I waved her goodbye and told her good luck as well.

Once everyone was situated, cement blocks rose in front of our tables with the test and a calculator. Cementoss continued to talk. "Once you hear the bell you will begin. You will have 2 hours to complete your exam. Once you are finished with your exam you will place it back on the cement and you may go to the break room. There you will receive a number and you may do any necessary preparations for your practical exam. Remember there will be absolutely no cheating. If you are caught cheating, you will be escorted out of school and you will never be able to retake the exam and you can say goodbye to ever being admitted to UA academy. Good luck." As he left the stage there was another bell indicating the test had begun. I picked up my pencil and opened the packet.

The net effect of photosynthesis, chemically, is reduction, leading to the formation of simple carbohydrates and accompanied by a release of oxygen. True or False.

Oh boy.

__________________

Finally, I'm done with the test. Momo already left. I wonder how she did. She most likely passed she's very smart. I picked up my bag and left the auditorium. There was a sign outside pointing towards the break room. I should probably change first. I did a quick turn and headed for the nearest bathroom. "Oof". Oh jeez. I looked up to face the back of a guy. He had crimson red and white hair split evenly down the center. He was on the taller side but other than that nothing special till he turned around and faced me. My mouth gaped open. He had beautiful different colored eyes and a huge scar over one of them, which was very odd.

"It's rude to stare." He scoffed down at me. I will just ignore that scoff since it was my fault. "Oh sorry, it was an acci..de..nt. You are Endeavor's son! I recognize that blue eye anywhere. My brother is practically obsessed with your family. Though that scar of yours isn't on pictures I've seen," I said in an attempt to break the ice.

He looked at me with absolute hatred in his eyes. Dang, I didn't know bumping into someone will automatically make me hated. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned his scar. "Excuse me I need to be going." I moved out of the way allowing him to pass. As he left, I shouted, "Sorry for bumping into you, it was purely an accident. There is no need to look at me like that!" and ran into the bathroom to change. Such a quiet guy very different from the stories Kean says about Endeavor. I opened my backpack and pulled out my workout clothes. I quickly put them on. It was just some high waisted leggings and a white crop top. Perfect for optimum power use. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my backpack. Hopefully, I'm not too late I still need some food in my system.

I got to the room where everyone else was and it was pretty full already. I looked around trying to find Momo so at least I will have somebody to talk to. "Ehehm." I looked around for the voice, but I didn't see anyone talking to me. "Down here, dearie." I looked down to see a small elderly woman. My smile grew so wide. "Recovery Girl! Oh, it's so nice to meet you. My mom talks about you all the time. I knew you were going to be at UA as a teacher, but I didn't think I would meet you today at the exam. Oh, this is so exciting. Can I have your autograph?" I gushed out in excitement. "One thing at a time dear. Here is your number it should always be visible at all times till you leave." "Yes ma'am," I said taking the number and putting it on my shirt.

"You must be M/N's daughter. You share the same energetic curious aura that she does. Plus, those ears are hard to forget." She chuckled light-heartedly. I sheepishly laughed. Oh, I wish she won't talk about my ears. "If it's an autograph you want here." She motioned me to come down to her level. I stooped down as she wrote her name on my number paper. "Thank you so much!" "Now now dearie you have a practical exam to get ready for and I have numbers to pass out. Good luck." I waved goodbye.

I walked over to the food table. It was decked out with so much food. My mouth watered as I looked at it all. I could eat everything here in five seconds if I wanted to. "Looks good doesn't it." I heard Momo behind me. "Oh yeah it looks good, even better than good, it looks scrump-dilly-isous." She giggled at my choice of words.

We picked out some food and went to sit down and eat while we wait for the others to finish testing. "So, what's your quirk Momo," I said in between bites. "My quirk is creation. I have the ability to create any non-living material/object from my exposed skin by transforming the molecular structure of my fat cells." "Your quirk is just like my best friend's; he is in the regular entrance exam. Although he doesn't use fat cells but rather imagery using his neocortex. Though he can only use the item for 10 minutes before it disappears. Do your items disappear too?" "No, they are permanent after I create them. So, what's your quirk." "From what I've figured out I can control the elements. Air, fire, earth, and water; the usual but I can lose energy using it a lot. Though there is sub stuff I'm trying to figure out. That is why I am here at UA. Hopefully, they can help me 'reach my full potential' as my brother says." I said with quotation marks.

"Wow, your quirk is so powerful! No wonder you're in recommendations," she said with excitement. I sheepishly laughed, "It's actually not that powerful really. When I first started, I could barely lift a pebble without passing out. My brother says that any quirk can be powerful it all depends on the person and how they use it. Your quirk is awesome you can create anything you want and it's forever. If you wanted you could make so many clothes and video games!" I gushed. "T-That's against the rules! If I make anything I want with my quirk then the circulation of money will be disrupted. As a citizen of this nation, I must increase the flow of money in the economy." she said in an attempt to defend her obvious spending habits.

~Shoto's POV~

'Sorry for bumping into you, it was purely an accident. There is no need to look at me like that!' How did I look at her? I looked up to see the odd girl conversing with another student. She's so odd and weird. How can she be so loud and obnoxious with no regard for other peoples' study time so early in the morning? Not to mention she's dumb and could have used the study time. How in the world did she make it into recommendations. I'll find out as soon as I pass this stupid test. I need to prepare.

"Students we will be taking a bus to the testing site form two lines and board in an orderly fashion!" some random guy yelled into the room.

It's time.

~Y/N POV~

Finally, the fun part is about to begin. "C'mon Momo we got this. Let's go."