#and like meant to be funny. like hes Harmless With It

[magnetic-rose]

i made a post a while back about the peepaw jokes surrounding emmrich and got vague blogged about it by salty people because i was "ruining their fun," which whatever lol. but the jokes have now escalated to saying he has erectile dysfunction and like this is what i meant when i said people are unaccustomed to characters above the age of 30 existing in media they consume.

like, 50 year old men have pretty active sex lives. you could be 70 and have an active sex life but that's not the point. emmrich isn't some geriatric grandpa ready to keel over and have a heart attack during sex, and jokes about his penis not working because he's "sooooo old" aren't actually funny.

and in my OG post i was pretty gracious about people making these jokes but since y'all insist in being unfunny and corny lemme just spell it out for y'all: at some point y'all crossed over from harmless jokes to full out ageism and it's incredibly off-putting and ruining the vibes. you're not funny or creative for saying that a middle aged person is bad at sex.

[faithshouseofchaos]

The young lewis and young nico being told off by their boyfriend for starting brocedes as a joke and now no one with let nico and lewis near each other without it being on the gossip pages and f1 news

“Idiot’s the both of you” — Nico Rosberg x Lewis Hamilton x Male!reader

Word count — 631

Angsty but not really

I scrapped this three times before I got something I liked

Y/n couldn't believe his ears when he heard his two idiotic boyfriends say on live air that they were no longer friends. To add fuel to the fire Nico had announced his retirement from the sport causing everyone to lose their minds over his decision. Over a couple of hours, you watched as the tweets rolled in calling them Brocades. Nico and Lewis had been very close all their lives with Crofty calling them everything but lovers.

If only that was true. They were lovers not that anyone knew and thanks to the two of them no one would know about their relationship the three of them had been together for years in secret.

“What in the bloody hell is wrong with the two of you?” Y/n asked pacing back and forth in front of the couch where Nico and Lewis sat watching. Both men sat on the couch like children getting scolded by a parent. They were both trying to hold their laughs in as you stood there glaring down at them both. The two looked up at you as you paced back and forth, trying to be serious but failing.

"We were bored," Lewis said.

"We just wanted to have a little bit of fun," added Nico with a mischievous grin on his face. Both men tried to keep themselves from laughing but failed miserably as they both chuckled a bit. The atmosphere in the room was laced with amusement as they tried to keep themselves composed in front of you.

You shook your head at their antics, trying to hold onto your composure. "This isn't funny, you two. Do you have any idea the chaos you've unleashed with your little 'Brocedes' stunt?" “We can’t go out in public anymore without being on every gossip page in the world!” Y/n added.

The men on the couch both looked at each other before Lewis spoke. “Ah, come on. It’s not that bad, right?”

Nico chuckled as he nodded in agreement with Lewis. “It’s just a bit of harmless fun, love. It’ll blow over soon enough.” You let out a loud sigh, shaking your head. “Harmless fun? You’ve caused a mess that will be impossible to clean up. People aren’t going to forget about 'Brocedes' anytime soon because the world thinks you hate each other.”

Lewis and Nico shared another glance, both still trying to keep their laughter under control. They knew you were right, but they couldn’t help but find the whole situation a bit humorous.

Lewis spoke up first, “It’s not like we meant for things to get this out of hand. We just wanted a bit of spice in our lives, love.”

“If you wanted to spice up your life you could have tried something in the bedroom like any normal person would. But no you two just had to make them think you hated each other”

The men on the couch were stunned into silence for a few moments as they processed your words. Then they suddenly burst out laughing, unable to hold it in any longer.

Lewis was the first to speak up, struggling to control his laughter. “You have a point there, love.”

Nico chuckled, nodding in agreement. “I suppose we did go about things in a bit of a roundabout way, didn’t we?” You crossed your arms as you watched them both struggling to contain their laughter. "You two are unbelievable."

Lewis smirked as he looked up at you, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "We know."

Nico added, unable to suppress a cocky grin. "And you love us anyway." You couldn’t help but chuckle at their responses. They had a point; you did love them despite their ridiculous antics. "You’re both impossible," you said lightly, shaking your head in feigned disapproval.

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

Mainline continuity Peacemaker is showing up to heckle characters for three panels and then leaving right now and then Peacemaker Tries Hard is all about how hes a sad sad little boy and people need to be nicer to him because his dad was abusive. Sorry thinking about it again.

[tibli]

people really act like johndirk murdered their entire family or smth

[chuluoyi]

✎ rivals... in love?

- gojo satoru x reader

gojo is in shambles—so suguru might have a crush on you too?

genre: high school!gojo being a menace but pls spare him he just can't take losing, you see... crack, totally jealous!gojo, justice for geto, enemies to lovers, fluff

note: people have been asking for this so this is up next! i'm writing this while listening to bigbang's bang bang bang and fantastic baby so if gojo is a bit unhinged... you know why

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

No way. There is just no way.

Satoru felt his eyes itch and twitch uncomfortably. Despite the opaque black tint of his sunglasses, he could still distinctly see you happily giggling.

“Geto-san, that’s so funny!”

With Suguru. His ride or die. Your massive crush.

Your crisp laughter rang in his ears, scorching his ego and igniting it in flames—that was precisely the reaction he had hoped to receive from you too!

"Aren't they just cute?" Yaga was suddenly beside him with a wistful smile, looking at you and his other student a few feet away. "What do the television say again... a perfect match? In this case, a perfect match made in jujutsu school, then."

And responding to your bubbly self, creating the very picture of perfect match made in jujutsu school indeed, Suguru was every bit as enthusiastic. “Nah, wait until you see this—”

"Perfect match my ass," Satoru grumbled outwardly, rolling his eyes, but he immediately dashed away before his teacher could bonk him in the head for cussing.

It was harmless conversation, or jokes, or whatever. Because Suguru couldn't possibly reciprocate your feelings. His type is women of gravure magazines—Satoru had deemed it as such.

…Right?

At this point, he wasn't in enough denial to say that he didn't like you, because he had made it so clear that he was, in fact, obsessed. He wasn’t shying away from the things he did, which included annoying you constantly, asking you out after school, helping you in missions, and sending you few pick up lines here and there.

And he thought he was certain he could whisk you off your feet. After all, who else could measure up to him and win?

Heh, no one.

(or basically that's just him ignoring the intrusive little voice in his mind that whispered, “Suguru!”)

“So what's with the nice act, huh?” Satoru blew his bangs in a huff as he questioned his best friend with a twinge of dissatisfaction. “Do you like her or something?”

Suguru quirked his eyebrow at him. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb. I have noticed how you two have been joined at the hip lately,” and with deliberate intention to spite his best friend, he made the sourest face as he mockingly recited, “Wait till you see this~”

Instantly realizing what he meant, Suguru burst into a loud snicker. “Come on, Satoru, really? Surely you aren't that petty. We were just chatting—”

“Not that. I know. What I'm asking now is that do you like her or not?”

It wasn't a rare sight to see Satoru with a pout and a frown, and usually he'd humor him. But this time, even Suguru could see that there was something different in the way he asked this. And should he say something that irked him then—

“Heh, so what if I am?”

That's the wrong answer.

Satoru halted abruptly, whipping his head around in sheer shock. "What the heck?"

“She’s a nice junior, kind, easy on the eyes,” Suguru shrugged, flashing him a dauntless smile. “Only a fool would let the chance pass up. Satoru, if you keep dawdling, one of these days, I just might—”

“Wha—hey!? That’s totally foul—!”

“Nah, they do say all is fair in love and war now, isn’t it?”

By a mind-boggling twist of events, apparently his best friend was also a guy after his dream girl. Satoru was irked, challenged, and he would never admit it, but a tiny part of him recoiled because Suguru clearly had an early start and a boost—you favored him first.

This was unexpected, and now he was conjuring up various scenarios of what he should do. He must act fast or else...

Little did he know that Suguru was thoroughly relishing his restlessness.

Everyone around you said that your relationship with Gojo Satoru... is intriguing to say the least. And especially ever since that one botched mission you two went, you also felt there was a shift in your dynamics.

And if by intriguing they mean him constantly blocking your way and invading your space, then yes, it definitely is.

"Okay, okay, but wait, just hear me out!"

You halted your steps and faced him with an annoyed frown. You really had no time for this. You were about to be sent on a mission. "Gojo, really, can't you just—"

"Okay, I know he's dashing, or whatever," he huffed, the last word he said with a hint of disdain. "But hear me out, and I'm sure you'll reconsider."

"Who are you talki—"

"Who else!? Suguru, of course!"

You couldn't possibly arch your eyebrow even higher, and before you could say anything, he somehow took it as his cue to keep going.

“First, he eats curses. Cursed spirits! He eats them like rice balls! Can you imagine just how foul the taste is?”

"Gojo, I don't have the time—"

"Then! Going from that, just imagine kissing him," he stressed, eyeing you intensely as your own eyes felt like popping out by the sheer suggestion. "What if you taste the cursed spirits rice ball?"

"You're unbeliev—"

"Wait! Can you even kiss him? What if his cursed spirits suddenly pop out of him? Are you willing to kiss his little friends—"

"He's your best friend!" you finally interjected, obviously and utterly in shock by his unhinged rambling. "How could you say all of that?"

"No, you're getting me wrong." Satoru's clicked his tongue. "I'm just listing facts why it's better for you not to end up with him."

You barked a dry laugh. "And? Better with you, you mean? That's awfully biased."

"Why yes of course! Self-promo is never bad," he blatantly retorted. "Let me just tell you aallll you need to know about me!"

He audibly cracked his knuckles and puffed out his chest. "You know already, I'm strong. I can protect you well. My cursed technique doesn't involve eating curses, so you don't have to worry about tasting the said curses on my lips."

How could he blurt all of this with that perpetually playful expression? A chuckle escaped you unwittingly and that only spurred him to go on.

"And I'm handsome!" he boldly claimed, pointing at his face with pride. "And obviously I don't need to say this, but I'm filthy rich—"

At that, you burst into hearty laughter, unable to hold it in any longer.

Satoru's eyes sparkled, lit as if someone had just made his day. "All in all, you know what I mean. Everything with me, all of it is going to be fantastic!"

Even you couldn't deny that all of this exchange had been so amusing. Hilariously so. "You're down bad, huh?" you tried to taunt, although it seemed like a burst of snicker. Yet, you were caught off-guard when he said:

"For you?" his little smirk made your insides suddenly all jumbled up. "Yes."

Huh? What is this? Your bravado faltered a bit as your heart did a somersault inside.

It wasn't supposed to thump this hard. You weren't supposed to feel this overwhelming urge to squeal too. And your face wasn't supposed to grow this hot...

Seeing that, Satoru celebrated his little win, a wicked smile on his glistening lips—that somehow looked rather attractive to you now. "How? Thinking twice now, are we?"

But he couldn't believe that after all this, you would still cunningly retort with, "Ha! You wish, Gojo Satoru."

His stunned face was so comical that you chuckled once again. You wanted to rebuff him more, but before you could, Haibara's voice called you from a distance. "Heeey! Let's go! Or we're gonna be late!"

"I suppose that's my cue," you lightly shrugged, and before you left him in a dust, you could've sworn you saw a flicker of brewing tantrum behind those glasses, which brought a smirk on your face. "See ya, try harder, and I might look at your way."

Satoru was at his wit's end as he saw you sauntering away. What more that he could do so that you could be his? To keep your eyes on him and him only?

And yet, little did he know, in that beginning of summer in 2006, even before you realized it yourself, you had already did.

Epilogue

In another corner of the school, eagerly spying on you were...

"Wait! Can you even kiss him? What if his cursed spirits suddenly pop out of him? Are you willing to kiss his little friends—"

"Did he just..." Suguru gaped, utterly in disbelief at what his own best friend said of him. "Did he just say that?"

Shoko let out a satisfied guffaw. "Oh, he definitely did."

"I can't believe he's tarnishing my name over a girl."

"Well, you know very well he could do way worse than that just to get what he wants," she threw him a thin smile, while exhaling a puff of smoke. "And hey, you lose. You gotta pay me."

Suguru turned to her in surprise. "Huh? Oh—oh, darn it. Shoko, can't you be less stingy?"

"Well, whose bright idea was it to pull that stunt on him and bet on whether Gojo would approach her in less than a day?"

-> continue to extended cut !

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

When They Give You the Silent Treatment as a Joke

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

Bang Chan

Decides to give you the silent treatment as a joke, thinking it’ll be funny, since he saw it while scrolling through Instagram

Initially avoids making eye contact and gives only curt nods, completely engrossing himself in his work.

Notices you trying to get his attention but continues the act.

Feels a bit guilty but thinks you’ll laugh it off later.

Realizes the joke has gone too far when you start to tear up.

But he's too busy to notice you've actually started crying until Felix points it out.

Immediately drops the act and rushes to comfort you.

Apologizes profusely, explaining it was just a joke.

Holds you close and reassures you that he never meant to hurt you.

Promises to be more considerate in the future.

Spends extra time with you, making sure you’re okay. Completley forgetting about the work he was doing.

"Aw, baby I could never hate you. It was just a joke I saw it while looking for edits. I promise...you want to watch edits of me? ...But I'm right here?"

Lee Know

Thinks the silent treatment will be a harmless joke. He got the idea from Jisung.

Acts - for lack of better phrase - like an utter bitch.

Is so in character he doesn't notice the way you've started fidgeting anxiously.

Or the way your bottom lip has started to tremble.

Realizes the joke has gone too far when hears you begin to cry.

Breaks character immediately, apologizing - which is saying something since its Minho - and explaining it was a joke.

Pins the blame on Jisung.

Spends the day doing small acts of kindness to make it up to you.

Constantly checks on you to ensure you’re feeling better, since it seems you've distanced yourself.

Vows to never participate in such pranks again.

Gives you a long hug, whispering apologies - which is how you know he is regretful since he's apologized more than once.

"It was Jisung's ideas. I'm sorry. I promise I won't ever listen to any of Jisung's stupid ideas ever again jagiya..."

Changbin

Agrees to the prank since Felix had seen it on tiktok and thought it would be funny for both of them to do it since Felix was the second closest member to you besides your bf.

Keeps his distance and avoids talking to you, often just continuing conversations as if he hadn't heard you.

Feels a bit guilty but sticks to the prank.

Starts to worry when he sees you becoming increasingly upset.

Realizes the prank has gone too far when you start crying.

Immediately scoops you up into his arms and just lets you cry waiting for you to calm down

Felix is apologizing to you while he does this.

Takes the lead in making sure you know he’s genuinely sorry by clinging to you the rest of the day.

Talks 10x more than usual, ensuring you know he never meant to hurt you.

Brings you small gifts and treats to cheer you up.

Promises to communicate better in the future.

"I'm sorry baby...I was being dumb I promise I won't do that ever again."

Hyunjin

Thinks you'll act dramtically so he agrees.

Avoids interacting with you, keeping a straight face.

Is a bit confused when you just stalk off.

Starts to feel uneasy when you've been gone a while.

Realizes the prank has gone too far when he sees you crying alone.

He goes to sit next to you and apologize.

But now you're giving him the silent treatment.

Insists on talking it out with you.

Goes out of his way to do thoughtful things for you until you finally talk to him.

Frequently checks in on you to make sure you’re feeling better.

Promises to be more considerate in the future.

"Ya jagiiiiiiiiiiyyaaaaaaaa...talk to meeeeeeee...please? It was a joke. Jagiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

Han

A little skeptical at first since he thinks you'll be anxious and overthink since thats how he would react.

But after the guys show him a bunch of different and amusing reactions he concedes.

Finds it amusing at first

Feels a twinge of guilt when you start looking upset.

He gets extremely anxious seeing tap your knee and fidget.

Oh boy he see's your tears welling up.

Breaks down first, apologizing and explaining it was a joke before you even have a chance to start fully crying.

Tries to make you laugh with jokes and silly antics to cheer you up.

Clings to you like a spider monkey. He needs to be resting against you in some way shape or form.

Brings you little gifts and snacks as a way of saying sorry and to make himself feel a little better.

Oh the amount of kisses he is giving you just to make sure you know he is sorry and he loves you.

"Baby stop squirming. There is no such thing as too many kisses. Let me kiss youuuu!!!"

Felix

Hesitantly agrees to the prank, worried it might go too far.

Plays along, giving you the silent treatment but feeling guilty the entire time.

Starts to worry as you look more hurt and confused.

Realizes the prank has gone too far when you start crying.

He doesn't listen to the guys when they say to let it go on a bit longer.

Apologizes profusely.

Just lets you rest in his arms until you fall asleep and stays in the same position until you wake up from your sad boi hour nap.

Bakes your favorite treats as an apology.

For the rest of the day he makes sure he's always talking to you about something and explains it was a joke ever five minutes.

Acknowledges he thought it was a bad idea to begin with.

"I didn't want to. I hate seeing you sad, I'm sorry angel. If you forgive me than at least finish your brownie."

Seungmin

Agrees to the prank since he thinks you'll be able to handle it. And its not like he is the most talkative person; maybe you won't even notice.

Oh but you do notice. And this is making your already bad day even worse.

Keeps a straight face, giving you the cold shoulder.

Wonders slightly why you have haven't jokingly scolded or insulted him yet

Realized its because you're in the kitchen crying.

Breaks character, and gives you a hug.

Its not until you push him away does he apologize.

You're still a little upset, so he makes it up to you by taking you out on a date.

Tries to make it up to you with small acts of kindness throughout your date as well.

Only asks once or twice if you're still mad at him.

Realizes you're not when you lovingly insult him about something during your dinner.

Secretly promises to be more considerate in the future, because he doesn't want to verbalize that to you.

I probably shouldn't do this again...even if Y/N does look cute when they cry...

Jeongin

All of the members try to convince him not to do this prank.

Doesn't listen at all.

Avoids talking to you, keeping a straight face, even when you helplessly pull at his shirt sleeves.

Starts feeling guilty as you look more hurt, but it adamant about proving to his hyungs that he wasn't in the wrong for pulling this prank.

Realizes he was oh so wrong when he see's you clinging to Chan crying.

Chan is the one who makes I.N. apologize.

He apologizes immediately, and gets an earful from Minho who has a soft spot for you.

But now he feels so bad and doesn't feel like talking out of guilt and shame from being scolded.

So now the rest of the guys are cheering up both their babies.

Just pouts sadly while cuddling you.

Once you guys are back to normal you make him promise to listen to his hyungs.

"I promise I'll listen to them next time...but...wasn't it kinda nice for them to baby both of us?"

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin

@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun

@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael

@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads

@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld

@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9

@minsungsthirdwheel

[john-get-the-salt]

Packed Lunch (w/spencer reid)

Imagine: One morning Spence is in a rush to leave for work and forgets his lunch. You know he gets cranky when he gets hungry, so that only leaves one option.

Contains: secret relationship becoming not so secret anymore, funny Rossi, cute domestic Reid

It'd been exactly 39 minutes since Spencer left for work and you hadn't moved a muscle, standing and glaring at the bag sitting on the counter. It wasn't that the bag itself had offended you, as it was in fact just a harmless brown paper bag. What did offend you, was that it wasn't with Spencer like it should be. The packed lunch was no good if Spencer didn't pack it with him to work.

He'd been in such a rush leaving that morning that he zipped out the door without it. Whenever he stayed the night at your place you made sure to pack him a lunch, knowing that he wasn’t always the best at caring for himself.

Forgetting to bring lunch wasn't usually a big deal for most people. You knew that the federal building where he worked had a cafeteria.

But this was Spencer Reid you were talking about. And Spence hated the cafeteria food. On the occasion he forgot his lunch he'd just go the entire day living off coffee and whatever snacks were hidden in his desk. Then he’d go back to either his apartment or yours, starving and with a nasty headache.

This meant without his lunch he would most likely not be eating today. And as you thought about how stressed and overworked he'd been lately, that did not sit well with you.

So it was decided. You would drop his food off.

He was just in the office for the day as far as you knew, so you were moderately sure you could just leave it with the front desk or something and have them take it up to him.

The two of you had been dating for several months but agreed to keep it secret from his coworkers for now. Spencer was adamant that in his line of work he could never have any secrets, and for once he wanted to have something all to himself. You couldn't even begin to understand how he did what he did, so that was an easy request to grant.

You had since then discussed telling his co-workers about your relationship as you two became more serious, but the right time hadn't come up yet. Plus it made you giggle when he told you the tales of his co-workers trying to set him up or making fun of his lack of romantic life.

This all meant you couldn't just stroll into the building and announce to everyone that you were dropping food off for your boyfriend, Spencer Reid. You would need to quickly and discretely drop the food off and then be gone without a trace.

No harm in that at all. Right?

You quickly got dressed and grabbed the lunch. Living within walking distance of the BAU headquarters was extremely handy, especially today. It was a nice day and you enjoyed the weather as you walked.

It only took about 15 minutes before you were pulling the doors to the government building open, immediately being hit with a rush of cool air. The inside was full of people who looked like they really meant business in their fancy suits and stern faces. You sudden felt self conscious in your normal ‘civilian’ attire, and scurried up to the front desk to get this over with.

The lady at the front desk seemed disinterested, and barely looked up when you stopped in front of her.

"Can I help you?"

"Hi, yes. I was hoping I could drop off this food for my boyfriend. He works here and forgot it this morning and he always gets cranky when he's hungry and-"

"Ma'am we don't deliver food."

"I know I just-he's going to be hungry and I can tell you what department he works for and maybe someone could run it up to him real quick."

She pulled open a binder from her desk, sighing heavily. "Can I get his name and your name?"

"Oh, um, his name is Spencer Reid, and mine is but I don't work here I'm-"

"Here. You're already a registered visitor."

She handed you a clip on badge with Visitor printed on it in big bold letters. "Give that to security, then elevators are to the left and there's a directory on the wall. Have a good day."

Before you could even argue she was dismissing you and addressing the person in line behind you. So you forced your feet to move and head towards security. You felt like a fraud walking amongst agents and other government workers, and you kept your gaze down to avoid eye contact. After your purse got checked and your visitor badge got scanned you shuffled to the elevators.

You paused in front of the directory on the wall, squinting at the dozens of names listed. Where the fuck was the BAU?

You must've looked as confused as you felt, as someone stopped beside you.

“Ma'am? Do you need help finding something?"

You turned towards the voice, coming face to face with a kind-looking older man.

"Oh! I do actually, if you wouldn't mind."

"Of course, what department are you looking for?"

"Um, the BAU?"

"Well I can definitely help you there."

He pressed the elevator button and the two of you waited for a moment before the doors opened and the elevator emptied. He gestured forward and you gave him an appreciative smile before stepping in. He followed along with a few other people. It remained quiet as the elevator rose and stopped at occasional floors, people getting in and out.

Eventually it stopped at floor 6 (totally making this up idk) and the man announced this was the stop.

You followed him off the elevator and onto a floor that was still busy, but nearly as much as the lobby. Straight ahead, down a little hall, were a set of glass doors with BAU printed on the front. You chewed on your lip as you stared the door down, contemplating.

How were you going to casually drop Spence's lunch off without creating suspicion? You couldn't exactly just walk right in and hand it to him without people questioning who you were.

"Can I help you find anyone in particular?"

"Oh no that's okay, you've helped plenty. I don't want to keep you from your business."

"Please, what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't help?"

This was so not the plan. But what other option did you have? You hadn't accounted for this scenario, you were positive you wouldn't make it past the front desk. But now here you were, and you needed to make sure this food got to Spence. Plus it probably wasn't smart to aimlessly wander around an FBI building. With your luck someone would think you were a terrorist or something. And you were not a terrorist.

"I didn't think you were, but my confidence in that is now wavering."

Oh my god. You said that last part out loud. To an FBI agent.

“Oh god I’m so sorry, I did not mean to say that out loud. I swear I’m not a terrorist. I have this terrible habit of saying dumb things when I’m nervous.”

Could this get any worse? All you wanted to do was drop your boyfriends lunch off and now you were talking about terrorism with an FBI agent.

To your relief, the man just chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve heard plenty worse. Now who are you looking for?”

At this point you were ready for the earth to just swallow you whole and you were deeply regretting ever leaving the apartment.

“Spencer Reid,” you said simply as you held up the bag in hand. “I have his lunch.”

“Spencer? He’s just through these glass doors, follow me.”

At this point, you didn’t care who saw you. You didn’t care that it sounded like this man knew Spence, and may or may not think you are a terrorist.

You just wanted fo give Spence his lunch and get the fuck out of dodge.

Following the stranger through the glass doors, you found yourself in a much quieter area. The entrance led out onto a catwalk from where you could see clusters of desks below you and a little coffee bar against the wall.

"I'll just set the lunch over here-"

"(Y/N)?"

You looked up at the voice and found your boyfriend standing below you at a desk, a concerned look on his face. He left the group of people he was standing with and jogged up the steps towards you.

"Hey, is everything ok? Did something happen? Are you ok?" His eyes were wide with concern, words coming out fast as he glanced over you. His hands automatically reached for yours, something the two of you did without thought.

"I'm fine, my love. You just forgot your lunch," you held up the paper bag. "I tried to drop it off at the front desk but the lady just gave me this pass and told me to bring it up. Then I almost got lost but this nice guy stopped and helped but I was so nervous I accidentally said something about terrorism and I know I shouldn't drop by unannounced but I also know how cranky you get when you're hungry and I-"

"(Y/n)," he cut your anxious rambling off, smiling in relief that everything was ok. "Thank you."

You smiled back up at him, relieved he wasn’t upset. "You're quite welcome. And I must say I feel so official with my badge even though I absolutely do not belong here."

He laughed. "I think you fit right in."

"Well I-"

"Reid?"

You both froze and became suddenly re-aware of the current setting. You looked up at your boyfriend with wide, worried eyes.

Spencer sighed, though that dopey smile of his remained on his face. "I think our secret is out."

He intertwined his hand in yours and together you turned towards the voice. Standing with varying looks of confusion and smugness were a group of people you recognized as his co-workers.

"Who's this?"

Spencer cleared his throat. "Um, guys this is… my girlfriend."

You gave a hesitant wave, trying not to shrink under the intimidating gazes. The office was quiet for a moment, before someone else burst into the room

"Did Reid just say girlfriend?!"

"That's correct, babygirl," one of them spoke up. "Pretty boys got himself a girlfriend."

The blonde gasped, before rushing forward and grabbing you into a hug.

"It is SO nice to meet you!"

You laughed as you hugged her back.

“It's lovely to meet you too, Penelope. All of you.”

She released you and you turned towards the rest of the team.

“Spence is always showing me pictures and talking about you guys, I hope you understand us wanting to keep it quiet for a while. But I've been really looking forward to meeting you."

A man with a stern look in his eye stepped forward, holding out a hand. "Aaron Hotchner," his eyes seemed to soften as you shook his hand. "Nice to finally meet you."

That broke the rest of the team out of this trance and they all gathered forward to formally introduce themselves. You shook everyone's hands and giggled as they ogled at the fact that Spencer had caught himself a girlfriend.

You learned, with a laugh, that the man who'd helped you find your way was in fact David Rossi, one of Spence's coworkers. I’m your anxious mess you hadn’t recognized the man.

You explain to everyone that you were just dropping off Spencer's lunch, but you weren't getting away that easily.

Penelope and JJ convinced you to stay, and you all spent the lunch break sitting around a conference table chatting. Hearing stories about Spence on the job had you cry laughing and you happily indulged his friends in some stories of your own.

The entire time Spencer kept a tight hold of your hand, smile never wavering as he watched his favorite people laugh together.

His family.

[axelsagewrites]

Roy Kent*Bus Buddy

Pairing: Roy x reader

Word count: 2511

Warnings: pure fluff, Jamie flirting with reader, protective Roy, swearing

Masterlist here

at the same time that Ted got hired Rebecca had also decided she needed an assistant to enact her perfect revenge, so the boys often saw you walking around Richmond or at press interviews. Any time you entered the locker room wolf whistles from Jamie rang across the room followed by a loud ‘shut it’ from Roy. Usually, you’d object to Jamies actions, but the routine had become so common you found it funny especially when Roy dogged him into Keeley one time, and you saw him drag Jamie by the ear.

You weren’t sure why the tough and silent Roy Kent was so protective of you, but you were grateful to know walking into a locker room filled with men that he had your back. the longer you were around the team though you realised none of the boys would even hurt a fly.

still locker rooms or crowded hotel lobbies could get rowdy, and Roy almost acted as security, weaving you through the crowd and telling everyone to fuck off. any thanks you gave him were met with grunts, nods, or two-word answers.

sometimes you had to talk to Roy though, but you never complained. whenever you had forms for him to sign or events you wanted him to attend, sadly only on a work basis, he gladly complied without fuss. feeling his hand brush, yours as he took the pen from your hand or getting to secretly glance at his face as he filled out the forms was enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

you’d convinced yourself your crush was harmless. after all he was Roy Kent, an absolutely loaded footballer with an exterior tougher than diamond. its not like you flirted with him or stared at him. well not on purpose at least.

this weekend saw Richmond visiting another stadium a six-hour drive away for their next match. usually, you travelled with Rebecca but due to some other things she had to get done this weekend, aka a spa trip with Keeley you were secretly so jealous about, she had decided to send you as a representative. however, this also meant you got to arrive at Richmond Friday afternoon with a packed bag and a bunch of rowdy footballers.

“Well look who our newest bus buddy is,” Ted said, putting his hands on his hips as you approached the gaggle of men. “Hope you don’t mind being down graded to ride with us bunch of savages,” he joked as he ticked your name off his clipboard. you really did appreciate Teds soccer mom vibes.

You laughed as you dragged your suitcase up to stand by Ted at the bus, “Please how bad can it be? it’s just a bus,”

“Yeah, but with these twats,” Roy’s voice made Ted jump, but you just turned and smiled, ready to say hi, but Roy just walked past you. He picked up his suitcase, tossing it under the bus before turning back and picking yours up and placing yours in with far more care than he had with his own. When you said thanks, Roy just nodded before heading onto the bus, assumably to secure the most isolated spot he could.

Ted let out a low whistle as Roy walked off, “He’s a charmer alright,” he said, his eyes scurrying around before leaning down to whisper to you, “If I didn’t know any better I’d think he’s sweet on you,” You laughed but before you could even try to deny it Ted was pointing at your face, “and if I’m not blind you my friend are blushing,”

“Shut up Ted,” was all you managed to say before Nate walked over and thankfully Ted knew better than to keep going in front of him.

while you were talking to Nate and Ted the bus all the players had arrived and assembled on the bus. you were the last to climb on the bus since even though you knew it couldn’t be that bad six hours on a bus was still a dire experience. “Oi need a seat love?” Jamie hollered from the back of the bus, already tossing his bag to his feet.

“There’s a seat by me,” Dani pipped up from a few rows in front of Jamie.

you laughed, trying to think who would be the least awkward seat mate. however, as you went to move forward, figuring Dani would be less out right flirty than Jamie you were stopped by Roy standing up from his seat and stepping into the aisle.

when you looked up at him, expecting him to say something, he just looked down at the window seat he had just given up. you smiled as you moved to sit down, “Thanks,” you said squeezing past him, “Thanks boys but I prefer the front of the bus,” you said before settling down for the ride.

Roy dropped into the aisle seat and while you knew he was trying to keep in his seat the bus seats were only so big, so your thighs were bumping into each other, “Thanks for saving me,” you whispered to him.

Roy chuckled under his breath, “Really think I’d let you get tortured back there like that?” he whispered back making his voice sound even sexier if possible. the bus set off only a few minutes later and now you were trapped in a bus with 25 rowdy men who instantly started talking amongst themselves and playing bus games. “Bet you wish you’d never got on this bus,” Roy said in a low voice but with all the noise at least you didn’t have to whisper.

“Nah I don’t mind, honest,” you said, settling into your seat, “Sitting in a silent plane with Rebecca can get awkward,”

“Sorry I’ve not got any champagne for ya,” Roy joked and for the rest of the ride you actually talked the whole way which is the longest you’ve ever spoke to him for. you were almost sad when the bus pulled up outside the hotel.

without a word Roy had grabbed your suitcase and his, walking into the hotel still wrapped up in a debate about which ice cream flavour was superior. “Checking in together?” The receptionist asked making you blush, and Roy clear his throat.

“Eh no, separate,” he said, glancing down at you but you wish he hadn’t since you knew your cheeks were flaming hot as you gave the woman your information. however, after getting checked in Roy still carried your cases, taking them up to your room with you in silence. He sat the bag down in front of your room for you as you unlocked the door, “I’m just down the hall. 203. so eh if anyone gives you bother or these twats are too loud tonight give me a knock,”

“Will do captain,” you said, trying your best to stay composed as you got into your room, shutting the door behind you so you could freak out.

the next day was too hectic to even think about flirting with Roy or even catching a glimpse of him off the field. however, Richmond had managed to secure a tie which for them right now was a big win. however, what was not a big win was the fact that you had to get back in the coach that day since the team had a bunch of press to do tomorrow at Richmond.

between the game, the press interviews, everyone showering and getting into clean clothes, and checking out you weren’t even set to leave till 10pm despite the game kicking off at 1:30pm. you were already yawning as you came down the lift to the reception.

most of the boys were also absolutely shattered. running for 90 minutes straight at full speed was tiring enough without also having to pack and do press. you had got to sit during the game, but you also had the job of Rebecca all day so now you really understood why she needed that spa weekend. “Bus said it’ll be pulling up in five minutes,” you yawned as you sat your bag down, “Head count time,” you said.

you felt like a primary teacher, but you didn’t care as you walked around, counting each player as you put your hand on their head. they were all too tired to complain and even Issac let you touch his hair. “twenty three,” you said, counting Dani before stopping, “Wow your hair is soft,” you gasped before continuing as Dani beamed from his seat, “Twenty four,” you said, reaching up to pat Roy’s head but you were too tired to see the way he smiled at you when you did, “Twenty five,” you finished, putting your hand on your own head making Roy chuckle quietly. “We didn’t lose anyone, great job team. now shift it, I wanna sleep,”

“You heard her twats, get moving,” Roy said, his loud voice shocking everyone including the hotel staff. at least it got the boys moving though. Roy cleared his throat as he glanced down at you, “Need a seat buddy again?” he asked as you filed out behind all the boys.

you smiled up at him, “Yeah that’d be nice. Its your turn for the window seat,”

“I don’t mind, you keep it,” he said as you finally got to the bus. the boys were all tossing their cases in and filing into the bus with very few mumblings between them. you were silently thankful everyone was exhausted, “Just don’t fall asleep standing,” Roy’s joke snapped you back to reality as he loaded in your cases.

“Fine but I make no promises about the bus,” you said as you walked to get on, Roy offering for you to go first. a sweet gesture to you and silently Roy was grateful for the chance to check out your ass. “This seat, okay?” you said, plopping down into the first available seat. Roy didn’t even reply as he sat down next to you.

Ted was the last to get on and while you usually loved his speeches today you just did not care. “Now all yall try get some shut eye. Six hours of sleep would do you all the world of good right now,”

“Yes coach,” rang out in a sleepy chorus as everyone settled in to nap on the bus for the night.

as you looked around you saw Jamie in the seat across from you with a blanket already pulled over him and Dani a seat behind you with an eye mask on, “I am clearly not prepared,” you joked quietly to Roy.

Roy looked over, seeing his fellow teammates who were used to these late-night busses, “You can borrow my jacket if you get cold,” Roy said quietly making you inwardly melt, “Not much of a blanket but it’s warm,”

“I’ll think about it,” you yawned, making Roy smile as he saw how you stretched away your sleep. or well tried to. the ride set off and you could already hear soft snores across the bus. any of the boys who couldn’t sleep had headphones in and you had never been more grateful.

you sat in silence, looking out the window as the head lights of other cars went past and let yourself sink further into your seat. you barely noticed when Roy shrugged his jacket off or realise how close to him you were getting but you could feel your eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment.

Roy however had noticed the soft snores coming from you when your eyes had finally closed, unable to fight sleep off anymore. he was thankful everyone was asleep or not paying attention as he got to look down at you sleeping on his shoulder with a soft smile. after a few minutes, sure you were asleep, he gently pulled his jacket over you like a blanket.

he wasn’t sure when he had fell for you or why, but he’d known for weeks now that he liked you. hell, more than liked. there was just something about you and right now you looked downright adorable as you nuzzled further into him. Roy slipped his arm behind your back, allowing you to properly sleep on him and his hand to rest on your waist.

usually, Roy was far too tense or pent up in rides home to sleep on the bus, especially with a team he just knew were desperate to draw something on his face, but Roy was surprised when he opened his eyes and sunlight blinded him.

the bus was pulling up to Richmond at an ungodly 4 am when Roy realised, he had fallen asleep, his head resting on top of yours. without thinking, still in a sleepy state, Roy pressed a kiss to the top of your head as he moved to sit up. however, when he saw you stir awake, he kicked himself internally, “Are we here?” you yawned, pulling away from him and Roy already missed the feeling of you curled up to him.

“Looks like it,” Roy said as you looked down to realise it had been Roy’s jacket covering you, “You uh looked cold,” Roy said, clearing his throat and thankful he had a beard to cover the way his cheeks grew hot.

“Thanks,” you said, a sleepy smile playing your lips as the rest of the team started to wake. “Did you manage to sleep?”

“A bit yeah,” Roy said, and it was as you shuffle forward Roy realised his mistake when you looked down at his arm, “Sorry bout that,” he mumbled, quickly pulling his arm out from where it had been wrapped around your waist.

“It’s alright I don’t mind,” you said, a smile toying your lips as you stretched to try wake up.

without anything else said, really by anyone, you all filtered off the bus and Roy went to get both your suitcases. Roy cleared his throat as he went to pass yours to you, a nervous habit you’d only just really noticed, “Do you need a lift up the road? my cars just over there,”

“If you don’t mind that’d be great,” you said, so relieved you weren’t going to have to sleep in Rebeccas office, “Don’t hate me if I fall asleep in the car though,”

“Couldn’t hate you if I tried,” Roy said as he took the suitcase back and began to walk to his car. you blushed as you followed behind him, climbing into the passenger side as Roy loaded the bags in, “You all set?” Roy asked as he hopped into the driver’s seat.

when Roy glanced over, he couldn’t help but laugh when he noticed you were already asleep in the car. Roy reached over, buckling you in before getting ready to hit the road. he’d dropped you off a few times from work so he knew the way already, but Roy couldn’t stop himself stealing so many glances at the sight of you. there was no avoiding his feelings now.  Roy Kent was in love.

[hoshiina]

pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)

request: hiii idk if u take these kinds of requests but id like to see jealous reader (preferably if reader and hoshina are already in an established relationship and reader works in a different division, meaning they dont get to see each other much) like maybe he’s used to calling okonogi “my dear” and its the first reader heard him call anyone with a pet name like that and she starts to overthink and gets pouty/ sulky and hoshina doesnt notice it at first but when he does he starts teasing her which doesnt help HAHAHAHA if its ok can it be hurt/ comfort and end in fluff & HELLO!! can i request an angst to fluff with hoshina where reader thinks he likes okonogi more than him especially since he is against revealing him n reader’s relationship to the third division (for other reasons of course). hopefully this isnt too specific!! i hope u have a wonderful day:))

notes: hoshina calls the reader��“darling”, hurt comfort, him accepting jealousy a valid emotion (very important to me i fear), so sorry i merged the reqs!! i hope this was satisfactory for both TY FOR THE REQ!, this is a twt thread i thought about while writing this, (l/n) mention in the bonus part

wc: 1400

Oh, you hated when this happened. You hated when your heart started to tighten in this horrible way you knew well. You hated being jealous.

You hated how self centered it made you feel and how it ate away at your thoughts and feelings. It made you feel like your good thoughts were disintegrating to horrible ones. However, what you hated even more was how it meant you were doubting his love for you— and that was the last thing you wanted to do. You didn't want to doubt him, nor did you doubt him, but when the jealousy got to your head it was over. You were stuck in a loop.

To top it off, the cause of this all was truly harmless and hardly that big of a deal, but that's usually how most anxious thoughts start. They start little.

You were called to visit the 3rd Division to help with research on a field you were particularly knowledgeable on, and you happened to hear Hoshina's laughter from the operation room, so you went in to take a peek.

“It was not that funny,” Okonogi was saying to him, but Hoshina only continued to laugh.

“Yes, it definitely was,��� he laughed. “I knew Kafka would forget about that hole in the training grounds again.”

“Why don't you remind him, then?”

“Comedic relief, of course.”

“Alright then.”

“Okonogi dear, you're no fun,” he said.

They said a few more things, but you couldn't seem to focus on their words. ‘Dear’? Was that merely a simple pet name? Or was there more to them than you initially expected?

Oh, the worries started to fill your head. And they were things you didn't want to be worried about— Okonogi was always so sweet to you when you popped by and you knew Hoshina loved you. The last thing you wished to do was doubt them, nor did you want to make things awkward around them. There were just so many things that you just didn't know about, being in a different division as him. You doubted they even knew you were dating, and the voice in your head would only get louder.

It was then that Hoshina saw you at the doorway and called over to you.

“Are you done with work?” he asked, his voice excited and hopeful. Your heart stung.

“Not quite yet,” you tried to sound disappointed, but for the right reason. “I’ll get going now.”

You walked away from the room as quickly as you could, seemingly naturally. You didn't want to be there and you didn't want to talk to him before calming down first— you were sure you'd say something silly if you spoke now.

Yet, immediately you heard footsteps behind you and a hand you knew well grab yours.

“Soushirou?” you asked, turning to look behind you.

“What's wrong?” he asked, his voice soft and visible concern in his eyes. “Do you feel unwell?”

Pang in your chest again.

“Not at all, nothing's wrong?” you said, but you could see the way he pursued his lips— the hurt in his eyes from how you wouldn't tell him what was troubling you. Gosh, why did you feel this way? Why must you feel much silly emotions.

“It's truly so stupid,” you said. “I'll tell you another time.”

“Alright,” he said, letting go of your hand. That one was your bad— you knew he wouldn't push you any further, even if he wanted to.

Dinner that night was awkward. You weren't even that jealous, but the fact that you felt something was gnawing at your brain upset you. Not to mention the fact that you were keeping something from him made you feel even worse.

“How was your training?” you asked.

“Alright, I suppose,” he said. There was a horrible moment of silence. You weren’t sure what to say.

“I think I’m getting a hang of this new technique,” he finally continued, but you wouldn’t look up at him— you were afraid he wouldn’t look your way.

“I see,” you said. “That’s really cool… I’d like to see someday.”

“I’ll show you as soon as its better,” he said.

The rest of dinner felt… quiet. The two of you still talked throughout it but it was terribly different from the usual lively catch-up you’d have— it was heart-wrenching quite frankly.

So as you’d imagine, going to sleep was even worse. You subconsciously faced away from him and pretended to fall asleep quickly, hoping he’d sleep soon too. You hated what was going on, but you just couldn’t bring this up. You knew it was silly and you knew you’d forget soon enough. You’d probably regret making such a big deal out of it.

“Darling,” he said, and immediately you turned to face him. He was already facing you. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it… I’m sorry I pushed you.”

Gosh, you thought. You gulped. You wished he wasn’t so kind.

“You’re going to think I’m so annoying though,” you said, voice cracking in a way you didn’t wish for it to and immediately his eyes widened.

“Darling, what happened?” he asked, suddenly worried. “You could never be annoying to me.”

“I… heard you…” you started and he just listened— he waited. “I heard you calling Okonogi, ‘dear.’ And suddenly I—”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, without hesitation. “I hadn’t even realized I did that, it was completely by habit. I won’t anymore.”

You finally met his eyes and the way he looked so horrified he had made you feel bad was so prominent in his eyes.

“No, Soushirou,” you said. “I didn’t mean for you to have to change anything— I know so well that both of you are so sweet to me and there’s nothing going on. I just—”

“Darling, calm down,” he said, cutting you off. “You’ve done nothing wrong, why are you beating yourself up? This was my bad and that’s about it. None of this is you.”

“I—,” you said, taking a moment to collect yourself. “I hate to be jealous, Soushirou. I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” he asked and you paused to look up at him, utterly confused.

“Why?” he asked again.

“It’s such an… ugly feeling,” you said.

“Is it?”

“Is it… not?”

“What’s wrong with being jealous?”

“Because it’s like I’m doubting you or something… when I don’t at all.”

“I think that’s a different thing entirely, no?” he asked. “You can know in your head that I’m in love with you and still feel something else— they’re not always the same. A little jealousy is perfectly healthy, I think.”

“Oh…” you said. You wanted to say so much more but there was so much to process first. Your heart swelled with such warmth.

“I get jealous too. I hate when Narumi gets too close to you or bothers you when I’m not around,” he continued on. “But in my head I know you’d never do anything to hurt me and you’d stop him if he crosses a line. I’ll try to stop if that bothers you though.”

“No,” you said. “That sounds… nice. I’m rather… happy… you were a jealous actually. But I’ll make sure to keep some more distance between Captain Narumi next time.”

He laughed. “Sounds good. But you tell me if there’s anything more that bothers you okay. I’ll fix myself up.”

“I will,” you said and he kissed your forehead. “But Soushirou, I don’t mind much anymore. You can stay the way you are.”

“No, no, stop overthinking. You need to sleep now, you have an early morning tomorrow.”

“Yeah. You too Sou,” you said and he hummed.

Once you were certain he was asleep, you kissed his cheek and slipped your hand into his. You liked holding his hand when you fell asleep, but you weren’t sure if it made it harder for him to fall asleep.

“Thank you,” you whispered to him. “You mean the world to me.”

You lightly kissed his cheek, careful not to wake him up, but to your surprised he smiled. He squeezed your hand and without opening his eyes, “You missed,” he said.

He kissed you on the lips and you laughed, snuggling up against him. “You were awake.”

“I was waiting for you to hold my hand,” he said. “I like when we hold hands when we sleep.”

BONUS:

From then on, Hoshina stopped calling Okonogi “dear” as much, and it’d only happen when it truly slipped out of him from force of habit.

“Vice-Captain, you’ve started dating (l/n), haven’t you?” she said to him one day while they were sorting through files.

“How... did you know?” he asked. The two of you had been dating for quite a while now, but he was more surprised she guessed you correctly.

“It’s terribly obvious you’re completely in love,” she said.

He blinked. And then he laughed. 

He’d have to ask you that night if he can share the news with everyone, properly, then.

[jyoongim]

~BLOOD & BLISS~

Human!Alastor x wife!Reader

Themes: 1930 based! Human!Alastor x wife!Reader, domestic life!fluff, smut, slow burn plot, devotion, slight manipulation, mention of children, pregnancy,  blood, murder, secrets 

————————————————————————

Chapter three chapter five

Chapter Four

“Oh darling look at you! And here I thought you wouldn’t give me grandchildren” your mother laughed as she hugged you.

Your mother had invited you and Alastor over since you had sent her a letter about some exciting news you wanted to share.

You didn’t know whether to take her comment as a compliment or insult.

”Why ain’t your husband with you? I know that man ain’t have you travel here all alone in your condition” she frowned displeased.

”Momma you know how busy Al is. He’s been trying to catch up on work so he can take time off for the baby” you pouted.

She sucked her teeth, before a smile dawned her face

”well that means we can go shopping! Have you decorated the nursery? Do you have a nursery? Oooh honey why don’t you come home when you have the baby? A newborn is a lot of work” she was ranting and you sighed, rubbing your heavy stomach.

”Momma im perfectly capable of taking care of my baby.  I’ve read all the books” your mother gave you a funny look

”books? Oh girl those books ain’t gonna help you. You need experience. Youre a first time mom, you have no instincts in raising a youngin ”

You pouted. You felt like a teenager being chastised.

You knew your mother meant well, but sometimes you had to stop her ‘good intentions’.

”Ill be fine. Alastor’s gonna be there and Im sure we can figure it out. Aint that what parenthood all about?”

She hummed “If you say, now lets head to town. I want my grandbaby to have the best!”

—————————————————————————-

You fanned yourself as you finally sat down. The summer heat was not kind to you as your mother had dragged you to every shop in town.

The two of you had finished up shopping and were now at a little restaurant. You smiled in thanks as the waiter sat a glass of cold water in front of you.

Your mother cooed as she looked over several items she had bought.

You think she was more excited than you and you were the pregnant one.

”Momma I think you overdid it. There’s no way the baby is gonna wear or use any of that” you mused, sipping the water.

She waved you off.

”so…how has Alastor handled the news?” She asked.

You blinked “he’s very excited. He says he don’t care about the gender, but he’s taken to thinking it’ll be a girl” you giggled.

”haha a girl? Oh no you’re definitely having a boy darling” she laughed.

You titled your head in confusion.

Your mother smirked “Your belly is big and low and you’re not even halfway through your term, that means you’re having a boy. ”

She continued “Most men want a boy on the first go. A scrappy boy is the jewel of every man’s pride”

You rubbed your stomach, smiling “Well it don’t matter im sure hell adore the baby no matter what”

She hummed and picked up the newspaper that was on the table.

The headline read ‘fifth body found in canal’

”Such a shame the authorities can’t find killer. Those poor souls. This is the fifth body that’s been found and practically in your backyard. You really need to careful dear” she said grimacing.

You weren’t too worried. All the victims were random, but they weren’t pregnant women. “I don’t think the killer is slaying harmless pregnant women momma”

She shrugged “Can never be too sure dear”

———————————————————————————

Alastor whistled as he cleaned the kitchen. Bright red water filled the sink as he wronged the sponge. You would have a fit if you saw the state of your kitchen and Alastor couldn’t have an upset wife.

You had went to visit your mother, thinking it was time to tell the woman that the two of you were expecting. You had wanted him to come along, but he thought it would be better if the two of you spent some time together.

So he took the time to go hunting. It had been a while since he had a good hunt and he had a taste for deer meat.

Once the kitchen was spotless, he discarded what he didn’t need into a bag. He headed down to the cellar with the rest of the trash.

He tied the bag and reached for the other one.

Hauling it back to the kitchen, he turned on the radio to listen to some tunes as he prepared to cook. You should have been coming home in a few hours and he was sure you would be hungry. It was rather hot today, so instead of slaving too much over the stove he opted for a simple stew.

He pulled the meat out of the bag and began to cut it.

He pulled a pot from the cabinet and filled it with  onions, carrots, and a little water were added into the pot as he cleaned the meat.

As the pot boiled, he plopped the meat in a pan to cook it down.

The kitchen filled with the smell of herbs and meat as he worked.

He added some seasoning to the meat and transferred the chopped meat to the pot.

He turned the heat low and let it simmer.

He nodded in satisfaction and took a look at himself. Disgusting

He was covered in blood. He sighed and went upstairs.

Light red swirled down the drain. Alastor rolled his neck, a soft pop was heard and he sighed in relief.

Once finished in the shower, he gathered the dirty clothes and headed out back in the yard.

He waved to the passing neighbors as thee fire crackled, a pleasant smile on his face.

Once the fire died down, he headed back inside to check on the stew.

He stirred it and turned it off.

He fixed a cold sweet tea and took a seat at the dining table.

His mind wandered to you. He wondered how you were fairing in this heat. He was sure you were ready to come home and relax. Your mother was a handful.

Your pregnancy was coming along nicely.

You had rounded out and now you sported a big belly. His cock twitched in his pants. He couldn’t believe how insatiable  he had become since you had become pregnant. He couldn’t keep his hands off of you.

You had transformed beautifully. You always seemed to be glowing, though you swore it was sweat. You had become incredibly sensitive, your mood swings putting you both through the ringer.

You had voiced your concern about your image as you had filled out nicely, gaining weight from the baby you now carried. You couldn’t fit any of your usual form fitting outfits, opting for loose dresses.

Alastor reassured you that you looked beautiful no matter what. He enjoyed a little meat being on your bones. 

You were softer and he loved every minute of it.

His eyes traveled to the pot, he wondered if you had ate. He really wanted to see how you would react to the meal he prepared. While you love his cooking, the baby was picking, which resulted in you being sick a lot.

The buzz from the hunt still rippled through him as his lips curled in a smile.

yeeesss how would his little wife enjoy the meal he prepared for her?

He made a mental note to take out the trash later but for now, he waited for you to return home as he opened a book about parenting. 

He should ask you what color you wanted the nursery….

——————————————————————————-

Your mouth watered as you came through the door “What did you cook Al it smells really good”

Your husband chuckled as he closed the book and walked over to you. You were trying to beeline it to the kitchen, but your husband wrapped his arms around you and pressed his lips to yours. He grinned as your stomach created a space between the two of you, running an affectionate hand over the bump “Well hello to you too my dear. How was your mother? I see the two of you went shopping” His eyes took in the amount of bags you brought back.

You huffed “Yea Ma would have bought out the entire store if I let her, i tell you I think she’s more happy about a grandbaby than when we got married”

Alastor coaxed you to the couch, smiling as you sighed as he massaged your aching back. He pressed soft kisses to your exposed shoulders “I didn’t know if you had ate already, so I made a stew. Let’s hope the baby like it. I read that warm foods were better than the ice cream you’ve been sneakng” he snickered as you pouted.

”Just relax a bit and Ill make you a bowl”

You smiled at him “I want crackers too!” You called after him.

Alastor returned with a steaming bowl of stew. It smells so good and your stomach growled in hunger. “I tried a different meat but I hope you like it my dear”

You thanked him and rolled your eyes as he picked up the spoon and held it to your mouth. You blew on it softly before chomping on the spoon.

Your tongue tingled as you savored the flavor. 

The meat was softer than you were use to, maybe pork or a different beef?

Whatever it was it was good!

”Mmmhmm this is so good. The texture of the meat is a bit off but its really good Al” you complimented.

He beamed at you, pearly whites glistening at you. “Im happy you like it and you didn’t throw it up im proud baby”

You quickly finished the meal and showed him everything your mother bought for the new arrival.

Alastor smiled in content as you happily showed him the baby wares; clothing, toys,and other gadgets. Seeing you so excited filled him with an unexplainable feeling. His hand caressed your belly as you ranted.

”Did you know that there’s a killer on the loose?” Your sudden question brought his attention back. Your face was filled with worry.

Alastor tensed, but relaxed “We had gotten a few reports down at the studio but no real leads. Why do you ask dear?”

You placed your hand over his that was on your bulging belly. “I-Im just concerned. I mean we do have a child on the way and i dont really feel safe walking the streets in this vulnerable condition. My mother suggested we move into the summer house.” You looked down, Alastor kissed your forehead “Im sure well be fine. Besides it seems the killer has a little mortals. No woman has been harmed. So dont fret my dear” he assured you. 

You sighed, he was right.  There was no need to worry.

“I would never let a soul hurt you” he whispered against your forehead.

You hummed and started giggling as he nipped at your ear “Al!!!”

You tried to wiggled away, but your husband softly pushed you back on the couch, being mindful of your belly.

”Now why dont I show you that I am more than capable hmm?” He grinned down at you.

—————————————————————————————————-

@nightshadelm@th3-st4r-gur1@southern-bayou-beau@yourdoorisunlocked@alishii@nettaw@simphornies@jellibean2018@purplecatsandhearts@missgurlsstuff@alastor-simp@alastorsgirl48@dasimp777@hazelfoureyes@thewinchestah@catherine1206@peachedtvs@luzzbuzz@markster666@preciousbabypeter@dennsfz@nanami1chu@chewbrry@smoky000@karolinda007-blog@alastorsaries@altruisticalastor@evedenn@alastors666creampie@siiv3r@yunimimii@popamolly @okay-babe@catmunist@wonderlandangelsposts@certifiedcrybabyyy @theangeliclibrarian@ilikemyteawithmilk@boney-horse@blubugg13@zombiesnips-blog@rulesareshadesofgrey@doggone-devil@amurtan@yuzurixx

[misshoneyimhome]

Say My Name, Say My Name I Jack Hughes 🖋️⚡️🔥

Requested? Yes / No

Summary; Based on the Tik Tok trend, calling your boyfriend “husband”

Tropes & warnings; established relationship; Tik Tok trend; slight angst due to brief fight, smut 18+, oral sex (f recieving), unprotected sex (p in v), cum inside;

Other notes: So, for the third and final story of this TikTok trend, we're getting a little steamy with none other than Jack H 🌶️ This was another idea I had on how to approach this trend, and I don't really have anything to say in my defence, besides, please enjoy 😉🤍

Word count; 2.1K

・✶ ｡ﾟ

In the warmth of your relationship with Jack Hughes, every day felt like a new adventure. For the past year, you hadn’t just been lovers; you were partners in crime, best friends with an undeniable chemistry that set your hearts ablaze. From lazy Sunday mornings tangled in sheets to intense moments after hockey games, your love knew no bounds. Every day brought something different, and you never knew whether you’d be sharing heartfelt laughter and deep talks, or cutting through tension after a loss, eventually ending in a steamy bedroom scenario.

Amidst the sweet and romantic moments, it felt like nothing was missing, which often led you to feel tempted to tease your boyfriend and push the limits a little. And it was during one of your leisurely scrolls through TikTok that inspiration struck—a harmless prank that promised to inject a spark of mischief into your casual off day.

The trend was simple enough: to capture your boyfriend’s reaction as you playfully refer to them as your ‘husband’. It was meant to be a light-hearted jest, a momentary tease to evoke slight panic or something similar. And as you watched video after video, giggles escaping your lips, you couldn't shake the urge to try it out with Jack.

So, as you settled into the familiar routine of a Starbucks run, anticipation danced in your veins, fuelled by the excitement of the impending prank. With your boyfriend at the wheel and the camera discreetly capturing every moment, you couldn't contain the mischievous grin tugging at your lips.

Then as the drive-through speaker crackled, you leaned forward, all set to carry out your plan. "Hi, can I get a venti caramel macchiato for me and... a tall black coffee for my husband please?” you said, putting playful emphasis on the last word, your eyes briefly darting to Jack, waiting for his reaction.

But much to your surprise and disappointment, Jack stayed cool, his expression unmoved as he kept his focus on the road. There were no raised eyebrows, no startled gasp, just a chilly demeanour that hid the turmoil underneath.

For a moment, a wave of let-down washed over you, the excitement of the prank fading away in the face of Jack's stoic response. Had you misjudged the situation? Was this playful gesture not funny? Doubt gnawed at you, overshadowing the usual playful banter that defined your relationship.

Then upon receiving your drinks and heading back home, the tension hung in the air like an unwelcome guest. Jack's subtle change in attitude didn't escape notice, and the gap between you seemed to widen slowly, casting a shadow over what should have been a fun moment.

And as you felt a twinge of guilt, you decided to cautiously bring up the issue, yet his response left you stunned, his words slicing through the air with a sharpness that caught you off guard.

"I just don't get why you'd call me your husband when I'm not," Jack said firmly, a hint of frustration in his voice. And your attempts to play down the prank as harmless banter fell flat, as Jack's withdrawn attitude contrasted sharply with your usual playful exchanges.

Then finally returning at home, you tried unsuccessfully to ease the tension with a movie. Despite your efforts to distract yourselves, the unresolved tension still lingered beneath the surface, and unable to bear the silence any longer, you turned to Jack once more, the need for clarity outweighing the fear of confrontation. So, with hesitant words and trembling hands, you moved closer to him.

“Please, talk to me, Jack… it was just a joke.”

As you looked into Jack's troubled eyes, his struggle to express himself mirrored your own inner turmoil, and for a moment, silence hung heavily between you.

Then, like a dam breaking, his words suddenly spilled out, each one filled with raw honesty. "It just hit me," he began, his voice tinged with disbelief. "I just… I think I've realised that this... this, us, a future with you, it's what I want."

Initially, you felt a bit confused. Wasn’t that supposed to be a good thing?

But Jack's confession still hung in the air. "And it scared me, alright," he admitted, his uncertainty evident yet softening with each breath. "I've never felt like this before, not so quickly, not with anyone. So, I guess… I don’t know… I just got a little shocked that this - you and me - is real, and it’s all I want. But at any given point you can just walk away, and I could actually get really hurt." His words filled the silence that followed with a heavy weight.

For Jack, the fast growth of his emotions was both thrilling and terrifying. The idea of allowing himself to love, of exposing his vulnerabilities, filled him with a sense of panic he hadn't experienced before.

And surprised by his admission, you found yourself swept up in a whirlwind of feelings. So, without saying a single word, you simply leaned in and closed the gap between you, your lips meeting his in a tender yet fervent kiss, as in that moment, words seemed insufficient to convey the depth of your emotions.

Pulling back from the kiss, you gazed into Jack's eyes, a gentle smile forming on your lips. "Was that it?" you whispered softly. "Jack, I’m not going anywhere."

You felt an immediate sense of relief from him as you sat closely together on the sofa, his arms enveloping your smaller frame.

“Good,” he breathed out softly. “Because I just know that I love you… but I don’t think I’m ready for more yet… So, if that’s what you want to stay with me...” he let out a defeated sigh, nut you couldn’t help but chuckle softly. 

“Don’t worry, babe, that’s not what I want… I told you, it was just a joke,” you explained softly, flashing him a sweet smile as you gently ran your fingers through his brown locks. “I love you too – and though maybe I do want that someday, we don’t have to rush into anything.”

And with those words, a sense of tranquillity enveloped both of you, the uncertainty fading away with each heartbeat. Sealing your connection once more with a passionate kiss, you found yourself melting into Jack’s embrace as he smoothly pulled you onto his lap, allowing you to nestle a little closer against his chest as the kiss deepened.

It felt almost hungry as he gently urged his tongue past your lips, a commanding gesture to which you willingly gave in to. As he explored your mouth, engaging in a sensual dance with your intertwined tongues, you instinctively began to sway your hips against his, your bodies moving together in a rhythm of desire.

Jack's hands found your hips, his grip firm as he guided your movements with a subtle urgency, indicating his own longing for more. Soft moans escaped both of you into the passionate kiss, and as your bodies pressed closer, the inevitable became clear.

With Jack's hungry lips locked onto yours, he lifted you effortlessly into his arms, only briefly breaking away from the heat of the moment as he carried you towards the bedroom with purpose. You couldn’t help but smile against his lips, your hands moving from his hair to gently cup his cheek as you wrapped your thighs around his waist.

And upon reaching the bed, Jack gently placed you down, breaking the kiss to gaze at you with an expression of pure desire and darkened eyes. In that moment, you knew there was no resisting him, and just by the intensity of his gaze, you surrendered completely to him.

Your eyes were fixed intently on him as he peeled off his t-shirt, revealing his sculpted athlete's chest. Then, with a casual ease, he lowered his sweatpants, unveiling his growing member snugly confined within his tight boxers.

You couldn’t help but sensually lick your lips at the sight of your stunning boyfriend standing before you. And as he slowly moved to kneel between your parted legs on the bed, anticipation tingled through you.

A smirk played on his lips as Jack maintained his intense gaze on you, considering how to pleasure you in a way only a devoted boyfriend could. And without hesitation, he swiftly removed any barriers of clothing to your naked form, his focus solely on making you his own.

With expert precision, he leaned in, his head descending towards your throbbing core. Then planting delicate kisses along your inner thighs, he savoured the anticipation before finally allowing his tongue to explore your sweet honey, tracing the contours of your folds.

An involuntary moan escaped your lips as his mouth made contact with your sensitive flesh, your fingers instinctively gripping the sheets beneath you as Jack delved deeper. His arms held your hips firmly in place as he employed his entire mouth to stimulate your core, alternating between sucking on your clit and teasing your entrance with his tongue.

You were lost in ecstasy, your mind drifting into a blissful haze, as your senses were overwhelmed by pleasure. Your vision blurred, and amidst incoherent whispers and moans escaping your lips, you felt a powerful wave of sensation coursing through your body. And when Jack then added two fingers to the equation, gently easing them inside you to massage your walls, you knew an orgasm was imminent. Your head tilted back; your body arched as you reached to new heights of a climax.

Jack's mastery with his mouth was undeniable, and he knew it. So, with a confident smirk, he shifted position, leaning over you as his throbbing member sought entrance. Meeting you in another passionate kiss, he then pushed his length inside you, simulating every inch he could touch.

“Oh, yes…” you gasped as he filled you, your hands finding their way to the back of his shoulders as he began to move his hips, his shaft gliding effortlessly in and out of you.

“Mmm, baby, you feel so good around me,” he whispered huskily in return, desire evident in his voice as he relished the sensation of your tight muscles embracing his sensitive member with each thrust.

And as your harmonious moans filled the room and your bodies melded together, drawing closer to the peak of pleasure, there was nothing but profound love and devotion between you. The tension and fighting of earlier moments faded away, just as they had many times before.

Your bodies were like build for each other, and as the sound of your skin meeting with each powerful thrust echoing through the room, Jack then took a firm hold of your wrists, pinning them down on either side of your head, as he intensified his pace with eager, forceful thrusts that sent your mind spinning.

His movements were vigorous, yet undeniably exhilarating, as each thrust hit your most sensitive spot with precision, pushing you closer to another orgasm.

And Jack could feel the heat building within him, fuelled by the sight of the passion he was igniting in you. Though the absence of a ring on your finger signifying your commitment, he knew without a doubt that you belonged to him, and no one else could satisfy you the way he could.

His breaths were ragged, his lungs desperate for air as he maintained his rhythm. And he couldn’t deny that you were incredibly beautiful as he turned you into his very own mess, each moan and gasp driving him further into a frenzy of desire.

“Mmm, yes, baby,” he muttered, his moans mingling with yours in the air. “Would a husband fuck you like this? Would he make you feel this good?”

Though his questions were rhetorical, you were unable to form coherent sentences, your responses drowned out by the symphony of pleasure escaping your lips.

“Mmm…”

And as your eyes rolled back in ecstasy and your walls tightened around him, Jack increased his speed, propelling you into another wave of pleasure. His name tumbled from your lips in a loud, fervent cry as you succumbed to the intoxicating rush of sensation once more.

His grip around your wrists tightened, almost cutting off your blood flow, as he delivered a few final forceful thrusts. And with a deep grunt, Jack reached his climax, releasing himself into your depths.

The air hung heavy with the aftermath of their intense lovemaking; the room filled with the scent of raw, passionate sex. Jack thrust a few more times to ensure he had emptied himself completely before slowly releasing his grip, both of you now catching your breath.

It was intense, the only sounds filling the room were your laboured breaths as Jack slowly withdrew and rolled over to lie beside you. Wrapping his arm around you, he pulled you close for a tender cuddle, your warm bodies sharing sweat, and heat as satisfied smiles graced your faces.

It was the perfect conclusion to a prank gone wrong, and in that moment, you knew there was nothing to worry about. You belonged to Jack, and he belonged to you, regardless of titles.

[peanutbubba]

Zoro shanks ace and law (seperate) x male reader fluff please i dont care if u add or remove anything dowhatever u wnat

OP Men x Strong Reader

Male reader, fluff, Ace and reader aren’t in a relationship, Reader is insecure of his strength in Law’s, not beta read, drabbles, Pre-timeskip Zoro (600+ words), Shanks (600 words), Law (800+ words), Ace (800 words)

Red Hair Shanks

Shanks was never the type of man to be tied down, as a pirate he could never really afford too, he had a dream and desire to be on the sea, it was as plain as that.

But when you came and joined his crew you took all that and threw it on its head, now there was hardly a moment where Shanks wasn’t thinking about you, or outright flirting shamelessly with you.

All of this started just because you were considerate to him, always keeping a keen eye on your captain.

Days where he was struggling with only having one arm, phantom pains, cramps in his arm, whatever it may be on that day you were sure to help him with no questions. You took on the weight of his burden without him even needing to ask, and that’s what made him fall for you so easily.

And on top of that you’re extremely hot, while you were super strong at the same time, what’s there not to like about you?

“Shanks, you’re staring off again,” You sigh, a small frown on your face, “Are you sure you’re not tired? I can take the night shift.”

Immediately Shanks shakes his head, red hair messily going back and forth with the motion, “No, it’s fine.”

You simply roll your eyes at your stubborn Captain, instead deciding to change the topic to something else, “What were you thinking about?”

“You,” he answers quickly, his voice genuine as he cockily smiles at you.

“Oh? So you'd rather fantasize over me rather than actually talk to me?” You tilt your head, smirk on your face as you tease Shanks.

“What?! That’s not what I meant,” he hurriedly says, his cocky attitude dropping nervously for a second.

You simply laugh, finding Shanks’ behavior funny, how a many could go from confident to worried in a second just pure funny. “Yeah, I know.”

Shanks deadpans, sticking his tongue out at you and blowing raspberries like a kid would, “You’re terrible.”

“Aww, but you still love me,” you point out, not at all deterred by Shanks’ comment, bumping his arm with your shoulder.

“Do I?” He replies back sarcastically, turning his head in faux pondering.

Punching his arm playfully you grumble, “No more kisses for you.”

“What?! Come on, anything but that baby,” Shanks pouts, taking the hit on his arm before leaning down and wrapping it around your waist.

Leaning towards you he tries to steal a kiss from your lips but you turn your head, a small whine of displeasure coming from shanks at the action.

Burying his face in your neck he mumbles another plea, his beard scratching you, red hair also tickling your face as it’s blown by the night breeze, “Please, I’m sorry.”

You sigh, your arms wrapping around Shanks as he perks up slightly, leaning in to get a kiss again. This time you allow him, your lips melting nicely against his in a sweet smooch, pulling away to be met with his goofy smile once again.

He tries leaning in for another one but is stopped by you, grabbing the man and hoisting him over your shoulder, his hand grabbing his coat as it falls from his shoulders.

He blushes at how easily you pick him up, hitting his hand against your back gently, “What are you-“

“Beckman’s here, let’s go to bed.” You quickly answer, beginning to move to your shared quarters.

Looking up Shanks sees the gray haired man waving goodbye at them, a knowing smirk on his face as Shanks goes tense. “Goodnight, Captain, Y/N.”

Trafalgar D. Water Law

A lot of the time Shachi would play pranks, usually harmless and all in good fun, until it suddenly goes wrong and they’re stuck with more chores than usual after Law catches them… However, it never deterred him, surprisingly.

You had been peacefully checking the Polar Tang’s pipes, making sure there were no punctures or complications. A careful hand on the delicate piping, when Shachi comes over with one of the most disgusting looking bugs you’ve seen in your life, throwing it on you.

The yell you let out when you felt it crawling on you, it was like you were being murdered, hand tightening around the pipe and accidentally crushing and ripping it in half.

Your hand immediately letting go of the pipe and swatting the bug off of your body, disgusted yelps leaving you until it finally falls off of you.

Looking up you see how Shachi stares at the wall in horror, you already know what he was looking at, however still turning around your face goes to horror when you realize how there is no longer a major chunk of the pipe.

Slowly turning to each other the both of you staring with terrified expressions, fast footsteps making you both panic and whisper yelling at each other. “What the fuck, Shachi!”

“Dude, how was I supposed to know you were gonna react like that?!” He hisses back.

Grabbing the broken pipe you quickly hide it behind your back, scooching back so the broken pipe lining the way was also hidden, Shachi also standing next to you to hide it.

Finally you see Law appear from the corner, a concerned look on his face. “Are you okay? I heard screaming.” He directs at both of you, worry in his tired eyes.

“Nope. We’re alright here, captain!” You respond quickly, your best poker face on.

And you watch nervously at how Law’s eyes narrow at you, then Shachi, but he seems to relax and accept the answer, nodding before turning around and leaving.

When he’s away from sight both you and Shachi begin to panic harder, beginning to push Shachi down a hallway. “Go find that bug before it finds him!”

Nodding he quickly runs off down the hallway the bug scittered off across, you going in the opposite direction to the room that houses extra pipes.

Quickly you place the broken pipe down in its section before fetching a new one, rushing back out the room and back down the hallway that had the broken pipe.

Out of breath you try to get air in your lungs harshly, getting to work once your lungs didn’t feel like they were on fire. Detaching the other broken pieces, replacing it with the new pipe, finally calming down when it was fixed.

It doesn’t last long though, Shachi coming back down the hallway to you also out of breath. “Help me… find a box.” He says through gasps, his hands clasped in front of him.

Getting up, you collect your tool box and go with Shachi, scouring the supply closets for an empty cardboard box, eventually finding one and stuffing the bug in there, sealing the box shut with tape.

Both of you leave the room silently going your separate ways. You were sure this would be funny when it's brought up again another day, for now however, you’re just glad you were quick enough to escape Law’s punishments.

All you had to do now was report back to him and this nightmare would be done.

Treading down the hallway you make your way to the captain’s quarters, knuckles rasping against the metal as you knock, entering a second later.

Before you could even open your mouth to speak, Law was quicker, immediately questioning you with dreaded words. “Did you fix the pipe?”

Your jaw drops, a worried look coming on your face as you realize that Law knew the whole time. “You knew?!”

“It wasn’t hard to figure out,” he smirks, placing the papers that he was skimming over down to look at you in turn.

“How did you-”

“I saw Shachi-ya chasing a bug down the hallway, and I heard the pipe hissing.” He quickly responds, cutting off your question.

He watches how your lips tighten downturning in a frown, sighing his own expression matches your, standing up from his chair and walking over to you. “Y/N-ya, it wasn’t your fault.”

“But-“

Once more he cuts you off, his words soft towards you even if his facial expression didn’t change much from his usual stoic one, “It’s alright. It was a mistake and you already fixed it, that’s all that matters.”

You open your mouth again to argue about it but Law’s quicker, inked hands wrapping around you and your head and shoving you in a hug, forcing you to shut up.

Relaxing in his affection, the scent of him calming you down from your mistake, just taking it that he wouldn’t let you win this argument.

“Want to help me come up with a punishment for Shachi?”

Roronoa Zoro

You didn’t train much, if at all, mostly it was because you couldn’t, there wasn’t any training equipment that could sustain being under your pressure.

But you did like to watch Zoro workout, in a way living vicariously through him. Sometimes he’d even ask you to help him, which you always enjoy.

Sometimes you were his spotter, sometimes you’d both have a friendly clash, and other times he’d use you like an extra weight.

“Push harder,” he ordered, glaring down at the wooden floors of the Merry.

With an amused sigh you apply a little more pressure to his back, hands pushing his sweaty back down, “Is this good?”

Fixing his posture Zoro allows his body to go down, then with a slight strain he pushes back up with a grunt. “Perfect.” He replies curtly.

So that’s how you stay, using some of your strength to push him down while he does push ups, both of you using your strength to fight against each other.

You enjoyed helping Zoro so much because this was usually as soft as the two of you got with each other, in a way this was how Zoro showed his affection to you.

Even if he didn’t admit it himself you understood that he enjoyed having you around, watching him, training with him. You can see it in the way his brown eyes soften when he sees you climb to the upper deck, stretching the sleep off of your limbs from a midday nap, or even in the way his eyes flicker to you every so often to make sure you’re still watching.

It never disappoints how the tips of his ears dust red when you compliment him from behind, of how he tenses when you whistle at his physique.

Going down again you watch how Zoro’s arms flex, a smile growing on your face as you admire his muscles, a clear sign of the dedication that Zoro put into trying to gain the title of The Strongest Swordsman.

It was days like this that you felt truly relaxed, a sense of ease settling so comfortably in your bones in a way that could never otherwise be accomplished.

You would never trade these days for the world, because this was it, it was your heaven and your earth, the only things truly keeping you tethered down.

And you sure it was the same for Zoro, you were sure that he as well would never give such tranquility up.

“You’re staring.” Zoro points out factually, a slight curiosity to his voice.

You let out a nervous chuckle, cheeks slightly tinting pink at how he caught you so easily without even having to look at you.

“It’s hard not too, you look good training.” Zoro’s body goes rigid at your comment, ears blowing up in a crimson as he simply huffs.

Again he goes down and this time you’re much more aware of everything happening, the soft clinking of his earrings as they glitter under the sun.

The waves rocking the Merry gently as if trying to put it to sleep, huffs escaping as Zoro strains to push back up, the distant chatter of the other crew members on the deck.

You adored this ship, this crew, and especially Zoro. They gave you a place when you had none, he rooted for you when no one else would. They were the family you got, even if you didn’t feel like you deserved it.

So long as you could help it you would make sure that days would stay like this, sunny and bright with a good future ahead.

You would see this crew reach its goals, you promised that, you would reach your own goal. More importantly you’d be beside Zoro’s side when he finally got crowned with the title he yearns for, you’ll be there cheering him on.

That, you’ll make sure of.

Portgas D. Ace

When Ace first saw you he swore up and down that you were the most beautiful man he had met, and when he saw your strength first hand he immediately fell in love he was sure.

That’s why he couldn’t help himself, gushing about you to Marco, or admiring you when you were fighting.

There was something about you that just drew him in like a moth to a flame, but god was he not mad, he would keep this going on forever if he could.

It’s why even now when you were having a friendly brawl with Vista, he was practically jittering with excitement, desperate to see you and your amazing strength again.

Rolling back and forth between the ball and heel on his feet, black eyes glittering like a child’s.

He watches as you fight against Vista, catching the sides of his blades in your hands, or concentrating so hard to try and not hurt Vista too much when you land a punch on him.

Ace practically sighs as if he was watching a dream, all because you were so cool, even with such things as Haki you were incredibly strong.

“You know you should tell him, right?” Marco asks, also watching beside Ace as the fight goes down.

Jolting in shock Ace looked beside him, he wasn’t expecting the man to watch so he was scared by his sudden presence beside him, an unamused look on his face because of it.

“But what if he doesn’t say yes?” He pouts, looking back at you, his cheeks flushing red at the thought of him confessing to you.

Marco shrugs his shoulders, a calm look still about him as his attention is captivated by Vista and you, “Won’t know until you try.”

Ace pouts, trying to think of the different ways he could, maybe he could try impressing you enough to-

“Please do not try any of that impressing him stuff,” Marco says with a sigh, practically reading Ace’s mind.

Snapping his head towards Marco he huffs, an annoyed tone to his voice as he bickers, “What’s wrong with that?”

“It literally never works,” the first division commander responds back, “Just ask him out on a date, normally.”

Ace groans but nods his head, looking back at the fight only to realize it finished, both Vista and you laughing together.

Alright… okay, all he had to do was ask you on a date, easy! Except it’s not, at all, because you make Ace so nervous that half the time he just wants to die of embarrassment.

When you began to walk off to the showers Ace stopped you, a nervous smile on his face and he completely forgot what he was supposed to be saying. It felt like his heart was in his throat, ready to burst out at any moment now that he was so close to you, and all he could manage to sputter out was, “You’re so cool,” before promptly running away.

Bumping into Izou who just laughs at him lightheartedly, “That was so pathetic.”

“I know! Don’t remind me,” he grumbles out, rubbing at his burning face with his hands, squatting down to sit on his haunches.

“You have to calm down when talking to him, you’re freaking out too much,” Izou points out, trying to at least help Ace a little.

Ace sighs, opening his fingers enough so he could look through them, “Yeah, but it’s hard when they’re so… them!”

Izou begins to laugh again, stifling out a, “You’re hopeless,” before shaking his head.

“Well you better ask him soon before someone else does,” he says, pointing at some of the other people on the Moby Dick also admiring you to Ace.

Ace stands up quickly at the mention of the other competition, suddenly a serious look about him, there was no way he was letting someone else get to you first!

Rushing back over to where he left you he relaxes in relief that you’re still there, a confused look on your face as you watch Ace come back to you after running away two minutes ago.

“Go on a date with me?” He immediately blurts when he’s in front of you, his face such a deep shade of red it rivals the red beads he wears around his neck.

Laughing your face changes from one of puzzlement to amusement, your cheeks dusting a light pink, “Sure, commander.”

Ace feels how his heart burst up in flames and honestly he wouldn’t have been surprised if he was on fire too, but it didn’t really matter to him, not when the most loveliest person he’s ever seen in his life just accepted going on a date.

“Awesome,” he breathlessly whispers, a goofy smile on his face.

—

This reminded me that I always forget how to spell Zoro’s last name.

Hope you enjoyed, Pea’s out!

[bigbadvoxbox]

Hi, I would like to ask for a smut from Adam x fem Reader, he takes Lucifer's wife so he can get back at Lucifer I love your posts

THANKS ANON

warnings: previous lucifer x reader. unprotected sex (don't do this). degradation if you squint? like a brief mix of both degradation and praise.

- Lucifer's pretty ex-wife, almost looking more like an angel than a demon, which was one thing that Adam found pretty appealing. The attractive appearance, with the subtle demonic features? Badass. He was into it.

- Puts his plan into action. He knows usually he can get any girl he wants, he's fucking Adam, but you're gonna be special. You were Lucifer's bitch (affectionately), so he wants to make this BIG.

- He plays it real cool. Lucifer almost hands you over himself, sending you to a meeting Adam had requested instead of showing up himself. This was the second time Lucifer had bailed like this now, what a little bitch. He can't help but feel lucky that even after splitting, you were still on okay enough terms for Lucifer to ask you such a favour.

- You have a little chat, and he plays a few harmless little jokes on you. It's been a while since you've laughed this way, and you confide in Adam that Lucifer wasn't the most social. You missed him. He stayed locked away in his room, and you got a small "hi, sweetheart" now and again, but it just wasn't the same. Not compared to how he used to hold you in his arms, sing songs to you, like a fairytale type of love. You missed that. Which was why you left him.

- Adam couldn't help but scoff at this, he should've expected as much from Lucifer.

- "Y'know, he missed out on some good shit. You're a fuckin' hottie. I don't know what he was doing ignoring a babe like you." He says. It's meant to be... comforting? Maybe? In his own way. You're a little confused, but also a little flattered?

- You two start to gossip like friends would, and you become more comfortable with the man sitting a few seats away from you, completely forgetting about the business portion of this meeting (a.k.a. the bullshit Adam made up to even get the meeting in the first place).

- He brags about himself a bit, and you can't help but find it the littlest bit charming, in a funny way. He talks about his band, how he "fuckin' shreds like a badass" on the guitar, and how the fangirls go crazy for him.

- "I'm not too interested in them though. I have my eye on someone else. I mean- yeah, they're cute 'n all, but nothing compared to this one chick I've been thinkin' about lately. She's somethin' real special." he explains.

- "A cute little lady whose shitty ex-husband left her feelin' so lonely... and unsatisfied too, I bet."

- That's when you catch on, taking notice of the subtle flirtatious smirk that plays on his lips. You feel your cheeks burn the slightest bit, and you turn your head away, a bit speechless.

- Adam knows he has you now.

- A few sweet words later, and steps closer that you didn't even really seem to notice him taking, too busy focusing on his (slightly vulgar) flattery, you now feel each other's breath against your faces. The moment is tense, and his lips, now exposed after he removed his mask, ghosting over yours.

- The mask was quite the reveal. But you had to admit, he was not at all bad looking. He wasn't exceptional, but he didn't need to be. You liked him just the way he was. In this small meeting he had shown you more kindness and attention than your husband had in a while.

- One thing led to the next. A flirtatious glance, a gentle brush against each other's hand, and next thing you know, you're laying on your back on the meeting table, Adam between your legs, his lips on your neck.

- He can't help but leave you absolutely covered in hickeys. It's nice to be possessive over something. Someone who's his now. He finally turned the tables on Lucifer, and that thought can't help but bring a smug grin to his face.

- When he was joking around earlier, calling himself the "dick master" you thought he was kidding.

He was not.

- He fucking pounds you into the table, one hand on your waist, the other on your tits, feelin' you up and teasin' you to get you all flustered. He wonders how long it's been since you felt this good, but don't worry, he'll make you forget all about that.

- He can't deny that you feel (ironically enough) fucking heavenly. It's like he can't get enough of it. Not only is the sex itself amazing, he just can't get enough of the victorious feeling of getting back at Lucifer.

- Trust me when I say he has you SCREAMING. He's so fucking glad he didn't use the hologram, instead taking the risk of going down to Hell himself, just for the opportunity to feel that cunt on his cock.

- "That's a good fuckin' bitch."

- He honestly can't even quite help the filth that just comes out of his mouth so naturally, his language vulgar but.. kinda hot?

- He can't help but cum inside you and fill you up, groaning a drawn out "Fuck yes." as he hovers over you on the table.

- He's pretty happy with his new badass demon bitch by his side, and his visits to Hell on "business" become a lot more frequent. The business in question is just him fucking you in every possible position, leaving you covered in hickeys, kisses, and bite marks. You're all his now. Suck it, Lucifer.

THATS IT

it's almost 4 am so this is not at all proofread

so if it's shit

i'm sorry

edit: the cheating part made me feel bad so i switched it up

[redcoralpot]

Eleganti - Poly!Stuilly x FTM!Reader

If you saw this before it was reposted, no you didn't.

Warnings: Implied internalized homophobia.

Summary: The heat has managed to affect all of you, and the only solution? A date at Stu's house with a dash of nail polish. You're sure they were both thrilled.

-

The summer heat truly had gotten to the three of you, with not even a cool breeze to give you relief. Rich boy Stu Macher’s parents were away for the weekend, again, which left his house the ideal place to take shelter in. If you had to be honest, you did not mind the temperature– kind of. The bottles of nail polish in your bag clinked together as you walked up the stairs; you knew Billy would be able to sit still long enough for it to dry. Stu, on the other hand, you weren’t so sure of. Not without heat and plenty of air flow.

Speaking of the devil, Billy glanced up from his book as you creaked the door open, leisurely spread on Stu’s bed. He raised an eyebrow at your appearance, before going back to reading, shifting a little to the side so you had more room to sit down. A smug grin slowly spread over your lips as you set your backpack down on the bed and unzipped it, making a show of the little, colorful bottles you displayed inside. You scooched beside it, and after setting down a towel in front of you, cracked open the first container.

Seeming to catch the smell, Billy spoke up, “Nail polish?”

“Yeah, want some?” He watched as you meticulously picked the colors you wanted, his mouth pursing.

“Not right now.”

You shrugged, applying a lavender base to your fingernails, “Suit yourself!”

Your hand flinched as the door was shoved open, smearing the liquid down your skin, only to be greeted by the eccentric figure of Stu. Upon seeing the predicament he caused, he bounced his shoulders and held up his hands beside his head, with an exaggerated frown. 

“Uh… whoops!”

He sauntered over, pressing his face into your shoulder. In response, you slapped the towel onto his face after wiping the spilled polish on the material. Stu grumbled something; it was ineligible. 

It eventually slid off on its own, with a little help from the teen shaking his head, “Suffocate me, why don’t you?”

Chuckling, you said, “You were the one who made me mess up, tough guy.”

“I totally meant for that to happen.” He slipped his arm over you, hanging like a sloth.

“If you meant it, then you have to be my test subject!”

Stu made a noise, contemplating. You wouldn’t force him to wear it, of course, but it was funny threatening something so harmless anyway. After just a few seconds, you felt the weight on your back release; Stu had moved in favor of shoving your bag into Billy to make space for himself. Then, the noodle of a guy flopped across from you, sitting criss-crossed with the most shit eating grin you have ever seen. Billy scowled at the rough treatment, but the expression was covered by the other’s knee.

He leaned forward, “Gimme orange.”

“Good choice!”

To prevent smearing, you blew on your covered nails as best you could, before bright orange coated the tiny brush in your hand. Stu seemed giddy as you took his hand, peering down, applying the cool liquid with precision. It was such a contrast to what his hand felt like; rough and as warm as a furnace. In the corner of your eye, you could see Billy’s eyes watching over Stu’s jeans, his book long forgotten. Finally, you finished, and allowed the fidgety boy to hold up his palms. His eyes were wide as he admired your handiwork, flexing his fingers with pride.

Stu tapped the top of Billy’s head with his elbow, “Hey, dude, want some of this?”

“Hm.”

“C’mon—”

“Black.”

You snickered, “I knew you’d crack.”

Billy rolled his eyes and leaned on Stu, holding out a hand. He shivered when you made a slight mistake, and gave you an unimpressed look as you fixed it with the edge of your towel. You could only complete one hand before he stopped you.

“Look who’s gonna be Cruella this Halloween!” Stu sneered, poking the other’s nose.

“Hey, hey, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” You shut the bottle, carefully sealing them all back in your bag, “Fuddy duddy William could be making a new trend.”

“Never call me that again. Is this enough for you two?”

Stu cocked his head, “Lemme think… nope.”

You stretched your body out, setting your belongings on the ground. Opening Stu’s own closet, you ran your fingers over the variety of shirts and robes the guy had. In the very back, there was a band shirt, obviously too small for Stu; he grew out of it by the time he was sixteen. You held it out, studying it, before shrugging and taking it off the hanger. Your shirt flew over your head and smacked Stu in the face, but the air soothed the sweat that was gathering under your double sport bras, at least for a moment. Then, the newer shirt covered everything back up, and the dark material banned anyone from clocking the extra layers underneath.

“Why don’t we go out for ice cream?” you suggested.

Stu pumped his fist, even though your shirt was still clinging to his body. Billy shook his head, a little smile playing on his lips when Stu ran out the door, presumably to get his car keys. You, on the other hand, hesitated when you saw a shadow underneath the shirt, where your chest lay. The only other boy left in the room must have caught on, because you felt a passing hand on your shoulder and a whisper in your ear.

“You look fine, it’s normal.”

He met your gaze. However, someone was getting impatient, as a muffled shout rang through the closed window, “Coming? I’m totally getting pistachio this time, and you gotta be here to see me try it!”

-

[jellys-compendium]

Trigun Headcanons - Embarrassing Sex Moments ft. Vash, Wolfwood, Knives & Livio

Rating: 🔞 (18+ Only, Minors DNI) Cw: smut, just sex shenanigans in general A/n: This is a repost of my favorite set of Trigun headcanons from my old blog (@/jelly-doughnut-drabbles).

Vash The Stampede

Vash had you pinned and spread beneath him on your shared bed. Your soft thighs cushioned his hips as he gently drove himself deeper inside you, his muscles straining then shuddering with ecstasy as the velvet softness of your body gave way to his own.

Nestled in your tight heat, it wasn’t long before Vash started to move. You made him feel so good, and Vash was always eager to give you back that same pleasure in kind. But as Vash’s pace increased, as the bed rocked and your back arched -lips parted as you moaned out his name- a tingling sensation made its way up Vash’s nose. 

Vash tried to ignore it, tried to focus on your quivering form beneath his, but that harmless tickle rapidly turned into an enormous pressure that made him gasp for breath and reel his head backwards.

Then Vash let out the most explosively violent sneeze known to man or plant…mid thrust.

The sneeze was so powerful that it jolted Vash’s entire body, nearly giving him whiplash as his hips slammed into yours with such force that it sent your head careening into the solid wood headboard above you with a painful *smack*. 

The cherry on top? He came. His sudden surge within you as well as the startled clenching of your insides was too much for him. Vash spilled his load inside, while you shrieked an indignant, “What the hell, Vash!?” 

Simultaneously mortified and shuddering from the ecstasy, Vash bumbled over his words, apologizing to you over and over as he reached up to stroke your head with trembling fingers in an attempt to soothe the bump that would no doubt be forming there soon. You had shot him a look of annoyance, but then sighed and succumbed to laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. You reassured Vash that you were okay and that you were not mad about what happened. If anything, you thought it was actually pretty funny.

After that incident though, the two of you always took care to keep a safe distance between your head and the headboard whenever you had sex. Just in case.

(***)

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Fucking against the wall was one of Wolfwood’s favorite ways to have you. He loved the feeling of cornering you, hoisting you up, and claiming you, all while you mewled and clung so eagerly to his shoulders. Unfortunately though, this position was a difficult one to maintain for a long period of time. A lesson that Wolfwood unfortunately had to learn the hard way.

During one particular hot and heavy session, Wolfwood had you arching and writhing between his rough thrusts and the wall, exactly where he liked you. But as he maneuvered you, hooking both of his strong arms under your knees to lift you up and fuck you deeper, a clawing strain shot up his leg. Before Wolfwood even realized what was happening, the most agonizing muscle cramp seized and tore all the way up his right calf and thigh.

Wolfwood grit his teeth and barked out a nasty, growling “Fuck!” as he lost his balance, sending the two of you toppling to the ground with a resounding thud. Fortunately for you, Wolfwood still had enough brainpower left to cushion your fall with his body.

Unfortunately for Wolfwood, this meant that your entire body weight landed right square on his delicate bits.

No one got to come after that.

(***)

Millions Knives

You were the first and only person that Knives had ever shared an intimate relationship with. Due to his lack of experience (and ego), Knives was not the best at communicating his intentions. So, when the two of you had sex, whatever Knives wanted to do to you he…just sort of went with it. 

At first, this really wasn’t that big of a deal since the sex you and Knives had was pretty vanilla. But as your relationship deepened and your intimacy flourished, he wanted to try some new things. Some riskier things. Unfortunately, the thought that it would be prudent for him to speak with you about those said things beforehand never really crossed his mind.  

So one night, Knives had you half naked and belly up on the bed. His talented tongue swirled and lapped sinfully across your sex as you squeezed your eyes shut and wistfully moaned out his name. Looking up to drink in your pleasure, Knives’s eyes narrow once he remembers that your upper body is still clothed, obscuring your lovely form from his sights. This was when a wicked idea struck him. 

Manifesting one of his blades, Knives had the intention of teasing the dull edge against your navel, and then have it glide up to your belly, catch your shirt, and slice it clean off your body. Knives thought he was being so smooth once the dull side of his blade gently drifted down and landed upon your skin. But unfortunately for Knives, your reaction hadn’t been what he’d predicted. 

Opening your eyes, you looked down and caught sight of the flashing knife just below your belly button. You screamed out in alarm, and in your panic you kneed Knives right in the face. 

Hard.

On that day, Knives learned about the importance of communication. Never again would he ever try something new with you in the bedroom without talking it over first.  

(***)

Livio the Double Fang

Livio was extremely shy when the two of you started to get intimate. The double fang was unquestionably intimidating in battle, but he had pretty much no experience when it came to sex and intimacy. So, you often were the one to take the reins whenever you two made love.

Livio was quite…awkward at first. He bumbled over everything, and he was constantly questioning whether or not what he was doing was right and if you were enjoying yourself. He was a total mess, but luckily for Livio, you found his eager shyness to be absolutely adorable.

During one of your early love making sessions, you had asked Livio if he would let you go down on him. “With my mouth.” you had to clarify. Red from head to toe, Livio was utterly flustered at your request, but he was so desperate to know what your mouth would feel like wrapped around his cock, so it didn’t take much coaxing for him to agree.

As he watched you wrap your lips around his shaft, your eyes fluttering shut as you groaned at his taste, Livio found himself at a loss of what to do. He wanted to touch you, he wanted to make you feel as good as you were making him feel, but he was so nervous. He didn’t want to mess this moment up.

Noticing Livio’s sudden silence, you opened your eyes and looked up at him with his thick cock still nestled between your lips. Your sultry gaze left Livio so breathless, so thunderstruck, that the only thing that could think of to do was to dumbly raise his hand, give you a little wave and sheepishly whisper, “Hi.”

Livio’s unexpectedly adorable and innocent little gesture had you giddily laughing so hard that you had to take a break from sucking him off. Livio was so flustered and embarrassed at this turn of events that his sex had softened. Unfortunately, this only served to embarrass him further. 

After your laughter subsided, you showered Livio with kisses and reassuring words of love. You assured Livio that he was the sweetest and most amazing man alive, and that there was no one else in the world you’d rather have beside you. Reassured by your words, Livio and you snuggled together, pampering one another with tender touches and kisses for the rest of the night. 

[yinyuedijun]

kitsune!suo x fem reader | feudal japan au

→ notes for an au set in feudal japan, featuring supernatural creatures and spirits (e.g., youkai). suo is a kitsune, sakura is a nekomata, and nirei is an onmyouji. → see this post for backstory on the bofurin trio (recommended background reading)

note: most information on kitsune-mochi were sourced from folkorist lafcadio hearn's accounts of traveling in japan (c.1901). I did, of course, also take creative license with some of the lore.

reader | kitsune-mochi (fox-employing witch)

→ as a kitsune-mochi, you are a human who has entered a contract with a fox spirit to care for it in exchange for having it lend you its power and carry out your requests. → in your case, your familiar is suo, a nine-tailed kitsune that lost his hoshi no tama. → most witches employ kitsune for the purpose of carrying out malicious acts, like having the fox spirit possess their enemies, steal the wealth of other people, etc. you, however, rely on suo and his power in order to perform exorcisms and exterminate demons—something that you cannot do on your own because you have no innate spiritual talents yourself.

→ although a convenient source of power, these deals are typically risky for the contract holder. you are expected to care for suo for the rest of your life, and any descendants you might have would be cursed to serve him as well. kitsune-mochi are heavily ostracized by human society as well, so if this relationship of yours were to be discovered, then your entire bloodline would suffer. → additionally, these contracts typically favour the kitsune, as they are the ones who define what it means to be "cared for", and may request dangerous or unreasonable tasks. → fortunately for you, suo is not a very demanding familiar! the most basic act of caring for a fox spirit is feeding it, and he's more or less happy with anything you make, though he especially likes tea, wagashi, or dishes with aburaage. this is more or less all he asks of you! → suo's disposition is generally so patient and gentle that you nearly disbelieved that he was a youkai. you were convinced for a while that he was actually a messenger of god who was lying to you about his identity for some reason. (at the very least, you'd noticed that he had a habit of lying to people generally, though this was an unsurprising trait for a fox and it was usually harmless fun.) → this perception of him was shattered when you saw him fight a youkai that seriously injured you. he spent an uncomfortable amount of time toying with it in a distinctly humiliating fashion before finally putting it out of its misery. it was only in that moment that you realised that you'd signed yourself and all of your descendants up for serving a literal demon 👍

→ warning: immortal/human relationship, immortal deity meets reader as a child but doesn't get to know or grow close to them until they're an adult

your backstory with suo

→ at a very young age, you were adopted and raised by a priestess of an inari shrine belonging to a small mountain village. consequently, you developed a deep respect for the kami and affection for foxes. → as a child, you once found a one-eyed, wild fox in a near-death state. this was suo after he lost his hoshi no tama in a battle with a demon—but to you, he just looked like a regular animal. most people would have let this creature die peacefully, but you were adamant on nursing it back to health. while caring for him, you named him mr. adzuki because of the colour of his fur, which suo finds incredibly funny to this day. → suo disappeared after recovering, never making his true identity known. however, out of gratitude toward you and the priestesses for allowing him refuge, he decided to act as the guardian spirit of the village, protecting it until the end of your life. → conveniently, this meant that suo got to eat all the offerings given to inari's messengers at your shrine, as well as allowing him to gain power from the prayers directed toward him. (inari himself seemed not to mind, as no actual fox messengers showed up to throw hands with suo.)

image: gashadokuro, a youkai made from the skulls of humans who died in battle.

→ although your village was peaceful throughout your childhood due to suo's protection, in your adult years, a violent conflict between humans and demons broke out in your mountain range. this resulted in the destruction of nearly all its towns and the brutal deaths of your fellow villagers. suo, not at full power, was unable to stop this, but made it his goal to save you from the carnage. → after allowing you time to grieve your loved ones, suo—still considering himself indebted to you—asked what you would like to do next. he offered you wealth, status, and other material things, but none of these appealed to you. → recognising that the mountains you grew up in would be plagued by malevolent spirits and demons for centuries after all the bloodshed that just occurred, you asked suo to teach you jujutsu. your goal was to exorcise all the vengeful spirits, exterminate the demons, and purify the mountain range so that its villages could peacefully rebuild. → given your lack of innate spiritual abilities, suo suggested that you make a pact with him and become a kitsune-mochi to acquire powers. not wanting to deceive you, however, he fully explained how dangerous it might be to enter such a relationship, and warned you not to trust fox youkai like himself.

→ nevertheless, you accepted his offer and became a witch.

image: sakura irl

meeting sakura & nirei

→ you and suo thus embark on this crazy mission to purify the entire mountain range. while you are more than capable of exorcisms and exterminations, your spiritual abilities (one of a youkai) do not allow you to purify the land. → but that's okay, because nirei and sakura have been traversing these same mountains to exorcise and hunt demons! being an onmyouji, nirei can perform all kinds of purification rituals. when you inevitably run into the two of them, and suo suggests that you all work together. → nirei is more than happy to help you purify the mountain range (because he is a good-hearted person, and also because he usually gets assignments there anyway). he improves his jujutsu under suo's tutelage, and he gets insights on kitsune that he'd otherwise never learn (it's rare for an onmyouji to meet a kitsune-mochi unless it's to prosecute them for some kind of crime, and it's just plain hard to meet and talk with a nine-tailed fox spirit). → sakura is a harder sell. he doesn't trust suo at all at the start, and he trusts him even less when he finds out that he's a kitsune and has been lying egregiously to him. (sakura and nirei spent an entire month thinking that suo was a traveling tea merchant from china and being fed severe misinformation about the entire country.) → however, sakura is very curious about you, because you're the first human he's ever met who has a mutual and trusting relationship with a demon, which he didn't think was possible beyond weirdos like nirei. → you also aren't afraid of him at all even after seeing his nekomata form, which gives him complicated feelings. he reasons that this is because you've fought too many demons to be afraid of any of them, but the actual truth is just that you find suo incredibly scary, and sakura feels harmless and adorable in comparison </3 → sakura deeply enjoys the act of helping the mountain towns and being accepted by their communities, though he's very shy about admitting it! eventually, he does "resign" to joining you in a long-term arrangement, and the four of you take on the endless mission of exorcising and cleansing the mountain range together. it's a very "monster of the week" type of set-up hehe

→ although the work of purifying the mountain range will likely take the rest of your life (and probably will require generations after you), suo often asks you what you would like to do after the work is complete—so that he can think of ways to grant your request. → you decide not to tell him this, but your wish would be to return to your old village grounds and rebuild the shrine that you grew up in. rather than just inari, you would also dedicate it to the worship of the one-eyed fox spirit that once protected your village.