#and made me the creative i am today

[skitskatstudios]

Guess who got a new cane!!! To celebrate, I have given Kaidou a cane. :)

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

[toonagi]

and here's the rest of them

i managed a whopping 15 attacks this year! that's over double what i was able to do during my first artfight :D

in order (top left -> bottom right):

Tetris (EyelessPyro (artfight))

D-999 (Thestral (artfight))

Sun and Moon (@crabussy feat. @silly-solar-robot and @lunar-android)

Alpha (devilkitty1 (artfight))

[brainrotdotorg]

i finally got a money order for my new passport, scheduled my appointment for tomorrow, got my auto insurance printed, and set out vinegar and dish soap gnat traps to finally kill those thangs. literally so adultcore of me. everyone clap

[katyspersonal]

Tumblr sorta needs a 'Mute' feature in my opinion. Like what if I don't want to block this user, what if I don't want to become enemies and in some days I'd like to interact. But also most of the time seeing how they avidly encourage everyone else whereas I get the passive-aggressive 'oh yeah very uhh... interesting... (please leave me alone I don't like your art lol)' makes me want to unfollow every single fan of these characters and never draw them again.

I remember two years ago the exact same thing happened when someone liked the same character and the same ship and I swear I was the only person in the fandom they bluntly left out and could not spare a single good word for. I can't even blame this on my art being "ugly" because this type of user always aggressively praises all art styles and all levels of skill, it feels more like 'a personal thing except we never fought a single time'. And now my toxic trait of needing approval from [cool person name] is back to haunt me years later! Add the unability to "abandon" this character/ship/whatever despite wanting to after facing so much unspoken passive spite, because I am a contrarian and the best way to trap me into doing something is to try to exclude me from it. I didn't face attempts to very aggressively bully me out of the yard/class/community/etc, sometimes with physical violence included, only to let something mid like passive aggression online finally do it.

I am really stupid and naive person despite my age, but in like 5% of the cases I will still understand the hint and understand what is going on. Yet I have to pretend to be clueless even in rare situations when I know someone hates me, because since they never admitted it, quitting will be perceived as me being "paranoid". But dear goooood, it hurts sometimes. I hope that one day I will be numbed to being treated as a tumor on an otherwise healthy body of society that someone is dying to amputate- and always a person whose approval I want, of all people. Knowing that this day will come is one of the things that keep me going as both a person and a creator. Things like viruses and diseases still try their best to persist, so even if I am actually one, I should persist. It doesn't matter whether I actually rot everything around me or this is just my self-depreciating delusion upon focusing on people that mistreated me and not people that loved me. What matters is persisting, I just still feel angry that it hurts. I can't respond spite with spite or passive aggression with passive aggression, I can't do the 'smug asshole' when I become aware that someone tries to starve me until I "die". I can just fall over and cry about it like a kicked dog, despite being so old, especially when it is a person I didn't have anything against.

And really.. It is as simple as turning the internet off, so I don't see The Person and can focus on doing stuff that I like, as if they never existed and can't crash my self-esteem. It is just annoying to keep doing this, a feature to not see them unless I am in the mood would be better. Like.. blocking is not an option. Not only it implies being enemies which is not my intention, but also it will be like an "evidence" that I was "crazy". They didn't do anything, right? Well, they know what they did, but it was never verbal, so it is my fault I "imagined things", right?

[laylakeating]

hello friends 😁

[dragqueenpentheus]

the only way ive figured out how to stop feeling small and talentless is to just keep doing it anyway and so far????? not working will update in future

[highwaydiamonds]

Not a resolution - just maybe a bit of hope and intention to start out the year

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 219

Adjective: Glorious

Noun: Corruption

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Glorious: having, worthy of, or bringing fame or admiration; having a striking beauty or splendor that evokes feelings of delighted admiration

Corruption: dishonest or fraudulent conduct by those in power, typically involving bribery; the action of making someone or something morally depraved or the state of being so; the process by which something, typically a word or expression, is changed from its original use or meaning to one that is regarded as erroneous or debased; the process of causing errors to appear in a computer program or database; (archaic) decay, or putrefaction

[thursdayg1rl]

didn't realise that the summer I turned pretty season 2 was still going lmaoo. I finished episode 6 and was like well damn I guess this is it. here we go again ig

[hoyatype]

in a particular mood where i’m deeply deeply deeply appreciative of some people; deeply misanthropically annoyed by others…

perhaps it’s bc i’m in a state of refining and sharpening my values (not a passive exercise but an active one: i am trying to orient my entire life around those values, very seriously and strictly)…and it feels more intolerable than normal to encounter people who do not have those values i’m trying so hard to instill within myself!

like people who are funny all the time but not sincere about anything…people who would rather avoid difficulty instead of running headlong into it, believing that there’s something better after…people who do not spend all their time thinking about how they could intellectually and creatively push themselves further…people who will let themselves succumb to their mental distortions instead of challenging them and working thru them…

as per usual, the things we judge most in others are the things we want to change within ourselves. or have just started to change but the change doesn’t feel settled yet.

i think when i’m more secure about balancing my mental health and day job and creative aspirations and family responsibilities i’ll feel much more capable of engaging socially with certain people. but atm i viscerally cannot stand it. so. muting some groupchats for a little bit…i need the peace and quiet to keep on writing and trying…

[six-of-ravens]

I would really like a single office day where I don't come home and play an evening-long game of Am I The Asshole?

[aux-armes-citoyens]

how long have you been rping francis?

since 2010 babey!!!!

i think i've been around on tumblr since 2012 as francis

too long is the real answer

[thebeautifulfantastic]

today i realized that i actually really miss being in school. i miss having that sort of intellectual and creative stimulation. there’s so much that i still want to learn in the fields that i’m passionate about, and perhaps one of the reasons i’ve been so creatively dries out lately is because i’m essentially teaching myself a lot of things?

[whoreiaki-kakyoin]

Second Covid booster fatigue on top of my usual levels of fatigue hitting hard. 😮‍💨 i thought I didn’t have spoons before but I did practically nothing today oops.

[hecksupremechips]

Derby is for colts and fillies alike so long as they’re 3 year old thoroughbreds. 3 fillies have won the derby, though the race is historically dominated by colts due to speed qualifications. The oaks race is for fillies yes, but the derby is not just for colts like your post implies. Please stop trying to spread false information. Yes people who attend derby are mostly rich white folk but behind the scenes are poc workers and people who genuinely have a love for horses and the sport alike

That feels a bit better to know. For some reason idk people around here just label one race as the girl one and the other as the boy one and it’s like why are you being misogynistic about horses. So it’s nice its not like that in reality but now it’s like weird cuz whyyyy have people around me just been spreading horse misogyny my whole life 🤔

And yeah I didn’t intend to spread misinformation but hm I definitely don’t know derby lore very well I just know some fan culture that I’ve grown up around so that’s definitely not gonna give me a very clear picture so idk what I was thinking. I’m mostly just fed up with some of the ways people have treated the derby in my area and really just fed up with family rn so I was being bitter but I shouldn’t have made any like. Statements about the actual derby when I don’t really know what I’m talking about at all and also most things in Kentucky culture and history have a really interesting background and there’s always gonna be passionate people and poc involved that don’t really get shown on the surface cuz. Racism. I do have my big grudges against these rich people from out of state or from the rich neighborhoods of Louisville who treat the derby like some big spectacle but then scoff at the rest of the state and clutch their pearls in fear when they have to park in a closed off parking lot where they gotta pay a black man for parking and then walk through neighborhoods they deem filthy just to get to the derby but eh fuck them. Let’s be here for horses and kentucky history and culture and just celebrate the amazing shit that we have going on