#and made plans to travel next year with the group of friends that we share and we just didnt. talk about it.

[botanicalsword]

Solar Returns Chart • relationship observations over past years

Sun in 6H - I had a highly disciplined lifestyle, strictly following a challenging diet and workout schedule. I was completely committed to their health and fitness goals and followed a meticulously crafted plan with dedication. I have set a fitness goal for myself, aiming to improve my physique and strength through training. I am determined to reach this goal, and I am willing to explore and employ various methods to achieve it. It was executed with unwavering discipline and intensity.

>> Other Solar Returns placement ⇦⇦

Venus in 7H - I feel incredibly grateful to have found myself in a new community where I have had the opportunity to meet new friends. The connections I have formed with these individuals are important to me, we primarily gather within a larger group setting and the level of compatibility and harmony we share greatly depends on the synastry between us.

8th House ruler in 2H -I had a strong desire to earn money and have been actively involved in running my own business.

Moon conjunct MC - Towards the end of the year, I had a sudden realization that I could put my talents to good use by embarking on some charity-focused projects. It struck me that instead of solely focusing on making money, I could leverage my skills and resources to make a positive impact on the community.

Venus conjunct Juno in 7H - I think I have encountered a person who has the potential to be both a romantic partner and a close friend. In our synastry, it indicates a harmonious connection between us. But there are challenges related to being vulnerability and publicity of our relationship, likely because of the influence of the 8th house and Lilith synastry.

>> explicit: Solar Returns • placement about love ♡̆̈♥♡̆̈♥

Moon square Juno - Marriage can make me question what it means to me and how it might affect my life's purpose. I was worrying that getting married may limit my freedom and hinder personal goals.

6H and 7H ruler in 9H - I enrolled in a course that not only provided me with valuable knowledge but also allowed me to form connections with like-minded individuals who shared similar interests and a desire for personal growth. Through this course, I had the opportunity to expand my community and make friends who were also passionate about acquiring greater knowledge. I also had the chance to travel to a new place that provided an enhanced learning experience, taking my pursuit of knowledge to the next level.

11H ruler in 6H - I have noticed that my friend's presence has had a big impact on our community - we shared 6H synastry. Thanks to our strong 6H synastry, he introduced me to this group of people, and though without him, we actually are not close-knit. He played a key role in bringing us together and creating a sense of camaraderie among us.

Chart ruler is Venus - This year, my main focus is on developing my personal value and refining my aesthetic taste. I am open to making changes in my style and appearance that may differ from what I've done in the past. I believe it's important to align my style choices with the image I want to present to the world. It’s also the possibility of starting a new relationship with a new romantic partner.

Chart ruler in 7H - this places a strong emphasis on building meaningful 1-on-1 relationships and fostering genuine friendships. Despite experiencing betrayal in the past, which has left me carrying a certain level of distrust towards others, I deeply cherish the connections I have made with each of them. This past betrayal has taught me the value of appreciating the genuine relationships in my life. I’m also recognizing the importance of opening myself up to new connections and allowing myself to appreciate the authenticity and sincerity of those who have proven themselves trustworthy.

Vertex in 9H - I feel a strong connection to nature and spirituality, and I have a desire to learn more about philosophical truths. It helps me think and understand myself better.

Uranus in 7H - I'm having trouble building the kind of relationship I want with the person I'm interested in. It's more than just a sexual or friendly relationship, but it doesn’t seem to head in the right direction.

8H & 12H ruler in 7H - I developed feelings for my friend, but I couldn't confide in anyone about it because I lacked trust in anyone with whom I could share this deep affection.

Moon conjunct Neptune / 8H ruler Neptune in 8H - I ended up in this totally forbidden relationship, and I had no clue about all the messed-up stuff going on. It was a crazy mix of getting physical, constant lying, tangled finances, other people meddling, a secret love affair.

Neptune in 5H - I'm trying to determine whether my feelings are genuine love or if they stem from an obsession, and I'm contemplating whether these emotions might be a delusion. (I’m Neptune dominance in Natal Chart) It seems that I am more captivated by the concept of love itself rather than the specific person I have feelings for. Even when we are apart, I don't experience a strong sense of longing or missing them. My focus seems to be more on the idea and idealization of love rather than the individual involved.

Venus conjunct Uranus - As the year comes to a close, I am bursting with new and artistic ideas. I am ready to take daring risks to explore and bring these ideas to fruition. I'm excited to step outside my comfort zone and see where these ventures lead me. >> Astrology Transits of New changes ☆★☆

❥❥❥ More: >> Solar Returns • Sun placement • Part I >> Solar Returns • Sun placement • Part II

❥❥❥

>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content

Quick Access to : ❥ Astro / Asteroid Indicators ❥ Synastry / Composite Chart Observations ❥ House Stellium Observations ❥ Astro basic info / Brief reads ❥ Asteroid database ❥ Personal studies ✧ spiritual journal

Exclusive access : Patreon

/ instagram : @le.sinex / @botanicalsword

[malum-forev]

has miscommunication for the bingo been taken? if not, can i request that one with bucky?

Hiii thank you so much for your ask! ❤️‍🔥 Here's what I came up with!

*

Miscommunication 

BrothersBestFriend!Bucky x Reader

Cold. That was the perfect word to describe Bucky. Distant came in second place, followed by calloused, mysterious, brooding and lastly, your brother’s best friend. Although you were only two years younger than your brother, Bucky always saw you as the pestering little sister. Even now when you were out of college and living in the same city as your brother and his group of friends. 

You had fixed your hair and worn a tight dress your brother would certainly not approve of but if it were up to him, you would wear a full body sack of potatoes to the club. You walked down the hallway of the apartment you shared with your brother but stopped before you got to the living room, you heard voices. You placed your back flush against the wall.

“Can you quit being an asshole? Try, for one day.” You heard Sam whisper.

“Why does she have to follow us everywhere we go?” Bucky groaned. “If I wanted that, I would have bought a dog.”

Steve shushed the brunet. “She’s one of our best friend’s sister, you can’t say that!”

“I’m just saying what we’re all thinking.” Bucky’s words hurt, a feeling of embarrassment burned your being. You felt the edges of your eyes prickle.

“We think she’s nice.” Sam said. “She’s funny and tells us childhood secrets about our friend, like that time she told us he got caught sneaking out of a girls window and broke his arm during the fall! What more can you ask for?”

“Well I think she’s immature.” Bucky drove the knife deeper.

You brought your hand up to your mouth to muffle your gasp, the tears falling from your face. Your brothers door opened so you quickly wiped your face and gulped down your feelings. 

“Not to sound like mom but, we know you’re a girl, you don’t have to show everyone at the club.” He laughed, pointing at the short hem of the dress. “You ready to go?”

You offered your brother a smile. “I think I’m going to sit this one out, I just got my period.”

He made a disgusted face before peeking into the living room. “Hey guys, it’s just us this time.”

“Fuck.” Bucky whispered as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, knowing you’d heard every wretched word you’d said. 

--

The next weeks were filled with apologies to your brother, flaking on plans and making up late nights working. 

“Have you thought about talking to HR?” Your brother’s voice said through the speaker on your phone. “I don’t think it’s normal for your boss to make you work late again. It’s the third time this week!”

You hiked your tote bag up your shoulder. Trying to balance your takeout on one hand and your phone pressed to your ear was proving to be a difficult task. You sighed of relief as you turned the corner to your street. 

“Yeah, I should but I don’t want to get on my boss’ bad side.” You expertly lied. Of course you felt guilty lying to your brother but what else could you do? They were his friends after all and Bucky made it clear you weren’t welcome. Plus, you’d been tagging along for far too long. 

“Call me if you get off early, yeah?” He said. “We’re going to go bar hopping and you deserve a drink!”

You kept your eyes on the steps of your apartment complex as you climbed them. “Yep, I’ll let you know when I leave the office.”

“You tell them they can shove their extra hours up their ass-“ You heard Sam yell over your brother.

You chuckled as you searched through your bag for your keys, two more steps and you’ll be home- your feet bumped into another, a combat boot wearing pair of feet you recognized instantly. 

“Oh shit.” You muttered, your eyes traveling from the black boots to the tight black jeans up towards a red Henley. Ocean blue eyes looked straight into your soul. Busted. 

“Are you okay? What happened?” Your brother asked.

“Everything’s fine, I’m fine just- it’s an Excel emergency. Got to go, call you later.” You hung up quickly.

“Late night at work?” Bucky raised his eyes at you. “Excel emergency?”

“Don’t even.” You sighed as you pushed past the beefy man, unlocking your apartment. 

“May I come in?” Bucky asked, hands resting on the doorframe.

You rolled your eyes, setting all of your things down. “You’ve been here a million times, you don’t need to ask to come in.”

“I’ve been here with your brother.” He emphasized the word. “Never as your guest.”

“I wouldn’t call someone who was waiting at my door a guest.” You mumbled, eyeing the man who still hadn’t entered your apartment. “What are you? A vampire? You need to be invited in?”

“Only one way to find out.” His smile was wicked as he dragged his boot across the bottom of the door. 

You considered letting him burst into flames, maybe he was a vampire. That would be one reasonable explanation as to why he’s a dick. 

“You can come in.” You said, taking your food and setting it in front of the TV. “Only if you promise to be quiet while I watch Vanderpump Rules.”

“I never thought of you as the lying type.” Bucky closed the door behind him and watched as you started eating dinner. “You were supposed to be a good girl.”

“You’re already breaking the first and only rule I gave you.” You shushed him. 

“You have no idea how badly I want to break the rules.” Bucky muttered to himself. 

You paused your show. “You’re not going to be quiet so, why are you here?”

“Why did you lie to your brother?”

You stood up from the couch. “I asked you first.”

“I’m here because-“ Bucky ran a hand through his hair, following you into the kitchen like a lost puppy. “Because you stopped going out with us.”

A true laugh ripped through your chest. Is he serious?

His expression urged you to answer, like he didn’t know the reason for your absence.

“Do you ever make up your mind?” You snorted. “First you say I’m immature and you don’t want me near you and now, now you ask me why I’m not there.”

Bucky felt heat rise up from the back of his neck to his cheeks. There was some part of him that hoped you hadn’t heard- maybe your boss did suddenly become a raging SOB. 

“I didn’t mean it like that-“ Bucky started. 

“Please, do enlighten me as to what you meant when you said, and I quote: ‘Why does she have to follow us’ and then ‘I think she’s immature’.” You let out a dry chuckle.

Bucky’s Adams apple bobbed, trying to figure out what words he should say. But his blank expression gave you everything you needed to know.

You walked to the front door of your apartment, opening it. “Look, I don’t know who forced you to come here and apologize but it’s okay. No hard feelings, Buck. Just don’t tell my brother I didn’t have to work late and we’ll call it even.”

Bucky leant his head back and groaned. “You don’t understand.”

“And I’m done trying to understand.” You added. 

“I understand that you say no hard feelings but that’s the problem-“ Bucky walked towards you. “I want to have no feelings.”

“Bucky it’s fine. I get it, you don’t like me and don’t want to be my friend. I’m over it.” You rolled your eyes again. 

Bucky’s chest heaved, his emotions taking over his brain. He took your body and slammed it against the door, shutting it closed. Bucky’s large hands cupped your face, his once clear eyes now turned dark. 

“You don’t understand.” He whispered dragging his knuckles lightly against your cheek. “I don’t want you there because I can’t control myself whenever you’re near.”

Your throat became dry. “What? I thought you didn’t like me.”

Bucky chuckled lightly, now his finger ghosted over your lips. “Quite the opposite. I like you, I want you, I needyou. But I cannot have you.”

Hi hiiii This is part of my 1k Celebration, if you like this please be sure to look at the Bingo Card and ask for a prompt! Love y'all <33

And you can find the Bingo master list and what prompts are still available here!

*Any gifs posted are not my own and I give the artist full credit.

[citruscitrushope]

Why Ken Shiraishi is Still Written OK (aka why Vivid BAD SQUAD will never surpass RAD WEEKEND, and why that's a good thing)

An essay I wrote in someone's Twitter DMs as we discussed their belief that Ken's writing has been becoming out of character ever since On Your Feet, and my attempt to present a counter-argument that turned into an analysis of VBS stories up to this point.

1,089 words, warnings for swearing, spoilers, and the fact that this is barely formatted like an essay at all but was just a ramble I thought I gave some good points in and wanted to share.

So bro is openly going against the things that made rw what it was ("ok Toya make all the songs" <- that is not what happened with radder)" and I doubt bro would be full on ignoring it (nor clpl full on ignoring it seeing as they have all of the group's full stories planned from the beginning) and I personally theorize that it's to emphasize the four's strengths as well as to make them come face to face with their weaknesses to grow stronger (I think concerto is the most obvious case of this). Nagi's goal with rw wasn't to make something to be surpassed, it was to pass radder's dream to the next generation to reach the heights they couldn't (i.e. worldwide popularity) and I very much feel like the vbs story has enough backing them going in that direction (Toya's wl chapter, what I've seen of radder flashbacks, even Ken's whole reason for opening weekend garage).

For context, the preceding conversation was about how Ken has been going against a lot of his initial things (Running weekend garage to help the next generation, helping them not work as hard, etc), how he knew Taiga was gonna tell vbs the truth of RAD WEEKEND and that he should first but he didn't, and then how he's been overworking the kids and going against the team effort rw was by radder

Again, clpl kinda suck at writing vbs sometimes but dammit they ain't bad at foreshadowing, they teased Nagi stuff for a year or two before lutf and stuff after all. Plus they've never had a sudden decline with a character, it took two years for Mafuyu's mom to fully be revealed as bad, and even with Taiga that was a solid year. (Now what they do do a lot of are sudden "redemption arcs", sure the Otori brothers' was decent but all the times they've tired to have Shinodad or Toya's dad grow as people has been so bad like bro some people are just shit).

Plus vbs' story has been slower than most of the other units until this current arc (hell they took the longest to end their first arc), slow building blocks to surpassing RAD WEEKEND. So for this current arc to have them saying "our next event will surpass them" so suddenly just doesn't add up. It has to be a red herring. And again, Taiga's been this game's only true betrayal arc, others have been characters going from neutral to bad (Mafumom, one-off characters) or ones meant to be bad that eventually become allies to their respective groups (Arata, Iori, Otori brothers). Taiga going from an explicit ally to an enemy is an outlier, and I've noticed that they usually won't repeat plots and stuff in this game (well outside of Smile of a Dreamer and Our Happy Ending but I think that was on purpose).

I highly doubt that vbs' ending will involve them surpassing RAD WEEKEND, they're probably the only group who's initial goal hadn't changed over time (L/n "I wanna be with my friends again" -> "We wanna be pros that touch others with music". WxS "Let's save this stage" -> "let's travel the world to make our dreams come true" n25 "i need to save mafuyu" -> "she's seemingly saved but shits still tucked"). Even MMJ's which has seemed to always be "Let's be idols and give hope to others" has had steps to go through, it wasn't instantly "Let's perform in the dome" it was "Let's be idols" -> "let's do a live show" -> "let's do a solo show" -> "let's perform in the dome". VBS hasn't been like that, it's always been "let's surpass RAD WEEKEND" and never been anything but that, so their progression has just been them saying "this'll get us closer to surpassing RAD WEEKEND" with little to actually show for it.

It's a lofty, impossible task, and I think Ken and Taiga know that, but they view it in different ways. Taiga sees it as "you'll never live up to it give up stop trying" while Ken's is "you'll never live up to it but that doesn't change that you're still talented performers". Even though how characters always compare each other to radder (An and Taiga seeing Nagi in Kohane, Taiga seeing Ken in Akito) , they're not radder, they'll never be them, and I feel like that's what the story wants to have them and the audience eventually realize. That's what Nagi wanted, right? To have the next generation do what she and the rest of radder couldn't, to keep singing and to be known around the world. They've already contrasted how both Taiga and Ken have attempted to keep Nagi's wishes alive before (i.e. the whole "Don't tell An until she's ready" thing), and Ken handled this better than Taiga but both weren't the best at it, and vbs had to find the strength themselves to keep going. Taiga did it in a brutal and dream-crushing way, while Ken's was gentler and more honest but came too late, and I feel that they wouldn't get rid of that contrast with Nagi's other dream. Taiga ran off and became famous overseas, but never fully processed his grief. Ken is encouraging the next generation, but still isn't doing it perfectly.

So I feel that Ken's plan is to show vbs *their* strengths. The ones only they have. Not in the context of reaching radder's level, but in reaching their own, and truly fulfilling Nagi's wish. He's not doing it perfectly, he's overworking them severely, but I highly doubt that this is purposeful. Again, I just don't think they'd make the dilf have a villain arc.

But nothing anyone has done in response to vbs's dream has been perfect. Even from the main story with akitoya and Kotarou sabotaging Kohane, to Arata in sbd, to Taiga to Arata in bfby, and then lutf is obvious. It's a messy tale of unprocessed grief and unfiltered dreams, things that can lead to both triumph and tragedy. But I truly can't see any malice in Ken's actions, or even Taiga's to an extent. While there obviously was some there, to him I assume it was to protect the legacy of his sister and to not tarnish her swansong.

I don't fully know where I was going with this but all in all I think Ken has good intentions albeit with unintentional extreme expectations, VBS was never meant to surpass RAD WEEKEND, and the vbs story's messy pacing lately is purposeful

[mercurygray]

I don’t know if you’re still accepting prompts but if you are could I get a Ron and Billie Jealous au for your brand of brothers fic? Or one where Ron leaves his wife for Billie (I know it’s messy but babe I love drama and I need angst)

I'm so sorry this took so long, Maddie! I went in a slightly different direction with this, but it's a scene I've been meaning to write for a while - the two of them meeting post-war and post-everything.

Hawaii was supposed to be nice, this time of year.

That was what all the travel adverts said, anyway - not that Billie would get much of a chance to see it. Airline stewardesses didn't make enough to take a week away on the beach - an overnight in the airport hotel, perhaps a daiquiri in the bar, and then it was straight back out the next morning, listening to all those eager vacationers asking how she'd liked the sand and the surf.

But despite those setbacks Billie could honestly say that she liked her job. The pay was good, and the hours weren't terrible, and she could say that she'd been to some fabulous places over the last five years - up to and including not spending any time at home in Philadelphia with her mother, who would keep wondering aloud when she was going to get married. When are you going to meet someone, her mother kept asking. Surely there are single men on planes.

What, you mean all of those bored businessmen looking for a little heavy petting away from home? Those single men? Those were the only kind she met these days - unless you were talking about the pilots, who were just as bad at keeping commitments.

No, she wasn't going to meet anyone here, and that was just the way she liked it. At present she had no obligations and nothing to tie her down, and that was just the way she liked it, too. Billie fixed on her face in the forward galley and made her way down the aisle, offering to help 7B with her bag, and to find a souvenir plane for the little boy in 12C.

There was laughter, a few rows back - a group of officers in class As, crusher caps and all, each with an identical briefcase and a smile that only got wider as she walked by. Hawaii was probably only a stopover for them - one night at the airbase and then on to Japan. Five years ago they wouldn't have been laughing about this flight - but five years was a long time. Billie tried to move by, brushing by the one joker who was still loitering in the aisle.

"And how about you, gorgeous?" he asked with a grin. "Are you free when we get there?"

One born every minute. "Terribly sorry, gentlemen, but I have other plans."

"Aw, but are they more fun than us?" his friend asked, rising from his own seat to block her in a moment, taking one hand and wrapping his free arm around her waist, his hand resting casually on her ass. "Maybe some drinks and dancing?"

Billie felt her blood rising, felt the urge to clench her fist and punch him square in the gut starting to pick up speed. She'd be allowed, if she were somewhere else. But stewardesses had to be cleverer with their jabs. She was just mustering her very best smile when someone spoke behind her.

"Is there going to be a problem here, Captain?"

Immediately the hands dropped - and Billie's face did, too. I know that voice. "No, Major Speirs, sir. Of course not."

And then there was another man behind her, looming. "When you speak to a lady, you call her ma'am." She took a deep breath, and turned around, only to come face to face with the same familiar dark eyes she knew she'd find. "Miss Mitchell."

It was a good thing the other man had called attention to his rank, because she wouldn't have been able to see it. She was too busy looking at him. "Major Speirs." And it took every ounce of strength she had not to call him Ron, because here he was, and exactly as she remembered, and the way his voice wrapped itself around her core felt as though it were only yesterday that they'd been in bed together, chuckling over shared cigarettes.

And one of his men had been feeling her up, and he looked spitting mad about it. Or at least, as mad as Ron ever looked, which was to say he had a kind of fire behind his eyes that you wouldn't notice until it burned you.

A bell rang overhead for the captain to speak, and everyone resumed their seats - and now those eyes were following her through the whole plane.

Billie knew how she looked to men in her uniform- the pencil skirt, cut to display a tight derriere and a fine pair of legs, the tailored coat with its bracelet sleeves, the pert hat over perfect hair. But she was unsure, now, how she looked to him. Did he like tight skirts, or the look of her calves in seamed stockings and heels? Was the way she dressed her hair now still attractive? Or did he only love the woman in fatigues with her unwashed hair in a braid, the one he could ask, laughing, Has anyone told you today you're beautiful?

She didn't know. And she wasn't sure she could stand the answer if she asked.

The captain turned the loudspeaker on, mentioning the gateway, and taxiing, and takeoff, and everyone took their seats and put their seatbelts on, and the engine roared them down the jetway. Billie's stomach was already in her mouth.

Ron Speirs. On her airplane.

It wasn't quite a full flight to Hawaii - eager vacationers, anxious for the sun, businessmen talking rice and pineapple and a dozen other commodities, and the small contingent of officers, all of whom seemed to have learned their lesson the first time and refrained from saying more than two words to her as she went by. All of them - and Ron.

She brought the cart around for drinks, tidied away newspapers and magazines, and studiously avoided him until she was doing the second round of drink service and he flagged her down. The seat next to him was empty, taken up by a briefcase and his own crusher cap - the privileges of rank.

"Billie, please. Stay a moment."

"I have a job to do."

"I'll take coffee."

She poured it without thinking, straight black, nothing in it, just the same way he'd always drunk it during the war, and set the cup down in front of him. "Some cream and sugar, please," he said, and she stared for a moment before realizing what it was he was doing - creating a reason for her to stay.

"So they promoted you," she said, taking her time with the sugar. "I didn't know if you'd stay in."

"I didn't have a reason to get out," he said, and as she set the cup down and he steadied it on his table she noticed his hand was bare - no ring. "We…separated," he offered, quietly. "There was …someone who needed her more." The casual way he said it nearly broke her. "I see one of us did all right, though," he said, smiling as he gestured to the diamond solitaire on her own hand. "Who's the lucky fellow?"

She looked down at the ring like she'd forgotten it was there - because she had forgotten she had it on. Her hand clenched like that would somehow hide it. "Oh, he - he doesn't exist. Sometimes it helps with - deterrence."

"And what do you tell them about him, when they ask?"

I tell them that he's very handsome, and we met during the war, and that he's a captain in the army. "Oh, this and that. Pretty lies." She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"I am, too." He glanced up at her with a brief smile, as if he were somehow afraid to hold her eye. "Do they give you some time for fun, after these long hauls?"

"Not much," she admitted. "But I can smell the sea, from the airport hotel, and that's usually good enough."

"They have me at the airport, too," he said vaguely. "Army travel budgets."

Down the aisle, someone else gestured, and she replaced the coffee on her cart. "Don't let me keep you," he offered, and she continued on down the row.

15C needed a gin and tonic with less emphasis on the tonic and more emphasis on the gin, and as she poured, her eyes glanced backwards down the aisle, catching a glimpse of dark eyes leaning slightly to the left, watching her from behind his hand with a different kind of fire, his coffee untouched in front of him.

Hawaii was nice, this time of year - if you had time to see any of it, that is. But five years was a long time.

(She was just hanging up her uniform when there was a knock at the door, and a pair of dark, fiery eyes behind it - tie loose, very sober. He looked her in the eye with longing. "Has anyone told you today you're beautiful?")

[hellbentrapture]

Gone

I did not think my first eulogy would be for my best friend. I did not think we would not grow old together, geriatrics doing movie nights. I did not think I would not always be cooking and sharing meals with him, so candid and excited about each one. I did not think he would let go. I did not think he would not be there. Ever. Again.

CW/TW: suicide, grief, loss, depression, mental illness, abusive and manipulative family, funeral arrangements, C-PTSD/PTSD, OCD.

My best friend committed suicide on February the 7th of this year (2024), I learned about it on the 10th after myself and my other best friend filed a missing persons report for him on the 9th. He had been struggling only a few days prior with an episode that involved C-PTSD and a flashback - I cannot divulge more than this, only that it was so complicated and there is so much more to it. He did go to the hospital, on Sunday the 4th. He did spend the night. He went home Monday the 5th.

Myself, he, and my other best friend had a group call. We talked for awhile and he was genuinely hopeful for the future. He had plans, he was talking to people, he was reaching out.

Wednesday the 7th was the last time anyone heard from him - it was me and my other best friend, at 10am. We were told he likely died around 4:30pm/5pm. A matter of hours, lessened when you account for him writing the letter and travelling. We were informed it was a train. I will never look at trains the same ever again, I do not know when I will be able to truly look at them yet...

The space between the 7th and the 10th is because he was unidentified, and was only discovered and connections made because I insisted we check on him. I insisted we make calls on Friday, we go to his apartment, we involve local health, we involve the police. Had we not filed that missings, who knows how long it would have been.

Worse yet, his abusive and estranged mother is his legal next of kin. So she gets to make all the calls on his arrangements and care. He had technically cut off his sister 8 months ago, but she is our only ally and is the far far lesser of the two evils. Working with her has not been as bad as it could be - without her, my other best friend and I would have no power nor legal recourse anywhere.

Before his mother intervened, we had picked a lovely funeral home to have him cremated at, that even said they could arrange a viewing for us. Instead, he will be going to literally the cheapest crematorium in the city (that actually advertises as such) and does not do viewings. His mother has been withholding what belongings she has gotten and has threatened to withhold all of his ashes if his sister does not see her for them. His mother, and her partner, have also threatened to keep the ashes out of spite. Luckily, the crematorium has promised us half the ashes that we can pick up separately.

I am trying not to fret that She will intervene once more...

I have not been fully processing or feeling it all yet - I don't think I will be able to until we are done planning the official service (that anyone who knew him is welcome to) and the wake (the tight circle). So a big part of me feels like I am in wait mode still.

But I do feel it every now and then, the deep cavernous sadness. The utter despair. The loss. The denial. The anger. Grief. More grief.

I loved him so very much. We were two struggling souls caught in a ruthless and relentless storm, gripping each other's hands, terrified but knowing we could make it together. I had so many visions of my future, and he was always going to be there with us.

In the end, as he told me in his letter, it was the OCD. I am angry that he gave into the impulse to find only the worst stories of OCD, where he believes those to be the all. I am deeply hurt, wishing I had known it felt so bad for him. And I am mortally terrified, for I did not know OCD could take you down like that - and I have OCD.

And you know what this all needs? Therapy. Do you know what I cannot access? Therapy.

I am so lucky and thankful for the Tight Circle I still have, we are supporting each other so much right now and I am so glad for it. I know I have others. I know this awful, awful pain will pass eventually, with time.

Time...

[deluweil]

What do you think of Athena's fear(s)? Is it really that she's afraid they won't have things to talk about? And do you think it plays into why she doesn't want a promotion or even retirement?

To be honest, I think on some level I understand Athena, I always have this fear that even with close friends when we meet if we don't share work or a degree process we won't have anything to talk about.

And I get it she's a cop, her spirit itself is restless, she can't relax, she's always looking for the worst case scenario, it is understandable.

But she went to see Frank and she didn't really talk about it, she also refuses to talk about it with Bobby and makes him feel alienated and on some weird footing where he's chasing her and she's avoiding him.

There is also the fact that this should have been a fear at the beginning, why now? And why not bring that up before going on the cruise.

I understand her, but I hate that she's hurting Bobby, leaving him to talk to the AA group on the ship about his problems.

I mean, the setting was hilarious, but also in a way heartbreaking, because he felt alone on a ship full of people on a holiday with his wife.

He just wanted them to be together without the fear of imminent death, I don't think that's a lot to ask.

I have a lot of thoughts, but it all boils down to one bottom line, nothing is without risk, so you need to take the quiet moments where you can get them, otherwise you end up doing a cat and mouse chase on a vacation, only for it to be taken by shooters the next moment.

About Athena retiring, people like Athena don't retire, they get retired either by force or by death.

My Grandfather, bless him, has been officially retired for a long time, and he still comes to work every day. Some people don't know how to enjoy life after the big work race, they need it for their health, for their sanity.

Bobby, like me, is planning his retirement, the fun, travel around the world, and move to Toscana and paint for the Golden Years stage (might just be me lol).

For Athena, that may as well be a death sentence, because she wouldn't know what to do with the peace and relaxation even if it kicked her in the behind.

So lots of talks and therapy are to be made here, let's hope they both survive this cruise long enough to get there. 🙏

[viatrixtravels-a]

A Star is Born ー Lumine's Birthday Event

[08.12.23 ~ 10.12.23]

[Participants: @oceandxpths, @narvvhal, @krovium, @vigilant-yaksha-asks, @not-the-darknight, @primordial-albedo-official, @starredvisions, @starlitwishes, @fusaex3 & @tidesbeckon]

During the event period, birthday-related interactions and threads will get priority. Everyone is still free to send in birthday wishes and gifts, but they will not be included in this masterpost, obviously.

December 9thー

The day on which she and her brother were born into this World

While their childhood was not without the usual quarrels and arguments, they had always shared a special bond which exceeded that of regular siblings.

As they grew older, this connection only deepened as they travelled from one World to another, making the same experiences and discoveries.

Their birthday was but one of the many things they shared, but it was always a special day full of happy, joyous memories. They celebrated at a vast variety of places, but one thing remained consistent ー At the end of the day, they would take a picture together to capture the memory. She still held onto those photographs in a special album to this day, but the page marking this year's birthday would forever remain blank.

"Aether..."

Eyebrows knit together into a frown as she would glide her fingertips across the paper, her heart aching painfully as she recalled the bittersweet reunion with her kin. She was glad to see him alive and well, but his involvement with the Abyss Order was highly concerning.

"Haah...I guess moping around all day won't make me feel any better. I'll just go do my commissions."

The Traveller had deliberately chosen to remain quiet about her birthday to her new friends in Teyvat - aside from Paimon - hoping to let the day quietly pass by as it did not feel right to celebrate without her brother. ー But a certain white-haired Pixie clearly had other plans.

"Lumiiiii...!! You need to come with me! It's an emergency!"

Paimon came flying into the room, seemingly in a frenzy.

"What's wrong? Is someone in danger?"

"Y-Yes...! A group of highly violent Hilichurls wandered into the city and is attacking everyone! Come on, hurry!"

"Say no more!"

Lumine immediately drew her sword and rushed to the scene, expecting to be met with the sight of a battle field but there was not a single Hilichurl to be seen.

Instead she was met with two elaborately decorated tables, one with a variety of different gifts, some of them even looking to be homemade.

[Aether doll was drawn by the incredibly talented @fusaex3, the other pictures I just got from Google <;3]

The other table presented a luxurious feast of delicious looking and smelling dishes: starters and drinks from Fontaine, main course dishes consisting mostly of seafood and a delicious chocolate and coffee cake as dessert.

"Paimon...What is this? Did you do all of this yourself?"

"Hehe~ I know Paimon is amazing, but I'm not /that/ amazing. While I did organize this birthday party for you, the gifts and food were provided by all of the friends you made here in Teyvat!"

The blonde could barely believe her own eyes. They did all of this...just for her?

"So? What do you thiー Eeeeh!? L-Lumi!? Why are you crying!? Are you not happy!?"

"No, it's just..."

"I thought I would be spending this day alone, thinking about my brother but...Even though he's not here with me, knowing that everyone tried their best to cheer me up with gifts or food, makes the pain just a little more bearable."

Walking over to the table with gifts, she slowly picked up the doll of her brother, pressing it closely against her chest.

"Happy birthday, Brother ー Wherever you are right now. Let's celebrate together again next year, okay? After all..."

Her lips curved upwards into a hopeful smile.

"We will surely be reunited."

[smgsecretsanta]

A gift from @legenspeople to @axo-fucking-lotls!!!

Text under the cut

Hey guys!

I know, it feels like a ‘déjà vu’, but this time, it’s a genuine request to be reunited after so long. We’re all wary of Josh, but none of you would doubt your old friend Chris! (I know I had my fair share of pranks, but come on…) So, to reunite after more than a year (!!!) I decided to plan a weekend at the beach! I rent a beach house (with Josh money, I have not become rich since the last time you guys saw me) so we can take advantage of the big waves and the sun!

We hope to see all of you there!

Chris and Josh

----

Sam had received the email of their next reunion while she was in Peru. After the events at the Washington’s mountains, she had decided to leave America to travel around the globe. Australia, Laos, South Africa, Egypt, Greece… she had bought an airplane ticket as soon as the police released them, and she had not been home since – except for a few stopovers to avoid losing her citizenship. After the events, she would have done anything to be far from the mountains and her traumatized friend group – the only news she had gotten from them was through the few phone calls she had shared with Chris during the year.

She had met many different people, saw many nice cities, but also slept in the most disgusting or surprising places to avoid wasting money on an overpriced hotel room or apartment. She never stayed for longer than one season to work in a touristic shop or to rent skiing equipment, depending on whether it was the cold or hot season.

Sam stopped traveling five months ago in Peru. She was starting to feel exhausted, plus she felt great there. She had two roommates who rapidly became close friends and a job she enjoyed most of the time. She was constantly wondering when she would come back to the United States, and the email had been the sign she had been waiting for.

It had hurt to leave her new friends, but Sam knew she needed to come back eventually. And when she had stepped out of the airplane, she felt better than she had for a long time. She thought that she would feel like a stranger in her own country, but she had been wrong.

Sam was currently on the bus, which was driving toward the address Chris had given to all of them. She was relieved when she saw that the place was not as secluded as the Washington lodge had been – it was still a private beach, but a small town was next door if they needed it.

The bus arrived at the stop, and she got out of it, along with a few other people. They all went a different way from hers. They all walked toward the middle of the town while she went away from it.

It was a nice walk to the beach house. Once she arrived, she was surprised at how big it was. She knew it was Josh’s parents who were paying, but after they blew up their ski lodge, she had expected them to be more reluctant to pay something big.

Sam was about to knock on the door when she saw the paper Chris put in the window.

“To anyone showing up late, we are at the beach!”

Sam searched for a minute the way to the beach and found it behind the house. The young woman started advancing toward her destination, but she was soon stopped by a familiar voice behind her.

“Sam! You made it!”

Sam turned around to face Jess who was running toward her. They jumped into each other’s arms in a long hug. Jess smiled.

“I’m so glad you could come! It would have felt incomplete without you… oh! What do you think of my new swimsuit?”

She stepped away from the hug and gave Sam a spin to show her friend her swimsuit. Sam was glad that Jess was comfortable enough in her body to show her skin again. The first summer after the event, according to what Chris told her, Jess had refused to do anything because she was embarrassed of the scars she had from that terrible night. It had taken a long time for her to not feel insecure about the marks.

She was happy now. It made Sam’s heart feel lighter.

“So? What do you think? Pretty cute, right?”

Sam, who had not paid attention to her clothes, took a quick look at her in the light purple bathing suit before nodding.

“Fits you well.”

“Aw, thank you! Now come on, we need to join the others.”

Jess grabbed her friend’s hand and pulled her in the direction of the beach. They quickly felt the sand underneath their feet and saw their group further ahead. As soon as she saw them, Ashley waved.

“Hey Sam, it’s nice to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you too.”

Chris got out of the water and ran toward them wearing a wetsuit. Before he could get too close, Sam stopped him.

“You are not getting a hug while you are completely wet.”

Chris pouted.

“What! But I thought you missed me!”

“Hardly. Also, what’s with the wetsuit?”

“Tried to catch some waves.”

“Really?”

“Yep, and it was a complete disaster.” Said Emily. “I have it on videos if you want to see.”

Matt laughed as he recalled the show he got to see earlier. Sam felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see Mike.

“Hey, Mickey! What’s good?”

He showed the bucket filled with ice and beer in his hands. He put it on the ground and grabbed two, passing one to Sam.

“Nothing is better than a beer under the sun.”

Sam took the offered alcohol. She looked over Mike’s shoulder to see Josh, who stood there, awkwardly. When he saw that she took notice of him, he approached slowly. His eyes were jumping from a spot to another.

“Hey, Sam… listen, I’m sorry about what happened last time. I goofed up big time, ha ha… hum, so yeah, just wanted to say that.”

The scars all over his face were healing well. Chris had said Josh had been distant and exhausted when they managed to get him out of the mine. He had looked completely out of himself, scaring Chris and the others, but she knew that, since then, he got the medical and psychological help he needed, and now he looked like their old friend again. She was thankful that Chris had kept her updated on his progress.

Of course, she had been angry at him for the prank, but she was one of the first to forgive him. Sam knew he did not mean to harm them, and that he had a rough time after Hannah and Beth’s death. It still felt good to hear Josh say it.

Sam opened her arms. Josh hesitated before hugging her tightly. He buried his face in her shoulder, and she could feel him tremble.

“It’s all alright. Let’s just have fun now. And Mike brought beer, so let’s get wasted.”

The group cheered behind her, and she could hear the bottles opening. Josh snorted. He let go of her, his eyes slightly red.

“Yeah! Let’s get this party started!”

Sam enjoyed the sun while lying on the beach and sipping her beer. She talked with Emily – who showed her the comic show that was Chris trying to surf – while observing her friends.

Matt and Jess were making a sandcastle, chatting like two architects on a mission. They had thought of bringing shovels and buckets and were making good use of them. Their castle was enormous, yet simple. It was funny seeing them put buckets of sand over buckets of sand. Every time their bodies were obviously tensing from the possibility of it destroying the entire structure of their work.

Although Chris had given up on surfing, he and Josh were in the water, trying their best to jump over the waves as they crashed their way. They were laughing loudly. Ashley was cheering them on with the bare minimum of enthusiasm each time one of the boys were turning to her to ask her to watch them. Sitting next to her, Mike was booing them while drinking his beer.

Sam realized how much she had missed them. One year had been too much, and now after almost two years without even being anywhere close to any of them – or anything she felt close to – she realized how hard it had been. It had felt good to distance herself from everything, but she was glad to be back.

When it was starting to be too cold to stay in bathing suits, the group went to the lake house to change. When they were in better clothes, Sam proposed to hike around the beach. It did not take long to convince Emily to agree, and soon they were all outside again.

Matt and Emily were walking in the front, swaying their hands in between them. Behind them, Jess was taking pictures of the sunset and showing them to Ashley. Mike and Josh were talking and laughing loudly in the back, which often made Emily snap and tell them to shut up. They kept talking like she never said anything, which made Chris laugh.

“They’re lucky Matt won’t let go of her hand, or else she would have jumped at their throat.” He said into Sam's ear.

She snickered at the thought.

In front of them, Ashley turned her head to them. She sent a shy wave and smiled toward Chris before looking in front of her again. Chris responded in the same way with the same awkward shyness.

“So, maybe I missed something, but I thought you two were officially a thing now?”

“Oh, well…”

Josh wrapped his arms around both of them.

“They are ‘taking it slow’.”

“Oh, I see.”

Chris scoffed. “Hey, it’s not a bad thing!”

Josh raised his hands in surrender. “You do what you do bro.”

“You two go at your own pace.” Said Sam with a gentle punch at Chris’ shoulder. “I’m happy for you.”

“And what about you?” Added Josh with a smirk. “Met anyone interesting on your trip?”

“I met a lot of interesting people on my trip. But, if you mean ‘did you meet a romantic partner’, which you definitely do, the answer is: no.”

“Ah! I’m also still single, by the way.”

“Like if she would have guessed otherwise.” Said Mike, joining the conversation.

Sam and Chris both snorted. Josh and Mike started arguing, and Sam tuned them out while Chris rolled his eyes with a laugh.

The rest of the walk was peaceful – if Sam ignored the boys who were still talking. They had been outside long enough to see the sunset. The bright colours reflecting on the water were beautiful. Jess insisted on a group photo to capture the moment. Everyone gathered around Jess and said ‘cheese’ before the ‘click’ of the camera.

Chris, Josh, and Ashley were eager to see the picture. Sam waited until they looked before looking at it herself.

Jessica was smiling in the foreground, holding her phone slightly tilted so everyone could fit in the picture. Right behind her, there was Mike, smiling over her shoulder, and Emily with her arm intertwined with hers. Sam and Ashley were on the right of the trio. The two girls were smiling, obviously trying to hold back a laugh and an eye roll at the three boys behind them. Chris, Matt, and Josh were in the middle of a jump when the photo was taken. Their mouths were open in a scream, and they had thrown their arms in the air to make it as goofy as it could.

Sam snorted before giving the phone back to Jess.

“I knew it was too much to ask for a serious picture.”

They walked back to the lodge when Josh told them he brought a few board games to pick from. Chris and Jess were trying to guess which one he brought, but he refused to tell them if they guessed right or wrong.

Once they were back inside, Josh ran to his room to reappear with a miming game. They were all excited to play and made two teams. On one side, Ashley, Chris, Mike and Josh, and on the other, Sam, Matt, Jess and Emily.

It all started well. Chris started by miming a wolf, a mermaid and then a firefighter. He was great, even though he made Ashley and Josh laugh too hard by exaggerating every one of his moves. They lost precious time since Mike kept telling them to be serious if they wanted to win instead of guessing on his own. Emily managed to make her group guess natation, a lion, a fish, and a photographer. She gained applause from her allies and boos from her enemies, which both delighted her.

It soon turned out to be a nightmare when it was Ashley’s turn to mime. She had made a movement with her hand to begin the impression and, without thinking twice, Josh screamed "ERECTION” which left his two partners laughing while Ashley was just awkwardly frozen in the middle of the living room.

Josh kept guessing different things related to sex, making Chris hyperventilate from how hard he was laughing. Mike tried to keep his mind in the game, but he snapped at the sixth time Josh made a guess. They ended up arguing, forgetting the purpose of the game. It’s not like it mattered, because Ashley had stopped trying to mime anything, sitting on the couch with her face hidden in her hands.

When their time was over, they all turned to Ashley, who weakly said:

“It was an elephant, guys…”

This sad revelation made Sam and her group laugh at the others' misery.

Matt’s turn went as normal as it could have, although he wasn’t good at this. He took too long to choose how to mime, and only managed to make his team win one point. After him, Mike barely read his paper before making an impression. Unlike Matt though, it was impossible to guess what he was miming. After this turn of useless guessing, he gave up his miming and said it had been an impression of a lumberjack. His group exploded with confusion, pointing out that nothing in his movements had resembled a lumberjack.

Mike's poor performance did one thing good for his team; when Jess went next, she kept laughing every time she looked at him from the corner of her eyes. She still managed to make her team guess an actor and a moving van.

Josh’s performance, without surprising anyone, was filled with unnecessary sexual innuendos. His team still succeeded in guessing the action of moping and a police officer.

Sam’s impressions went without trouble. She had picked up what they could agree were the easy ones: eating, dancing, a giraffe, and a queen. Josh and Mike were insisting that it was cheating, but when Emily proposed they took away the last points, they were disappointed to know they still lost by two points.

To celebrate their victory, Matt brought back shooters that they drank while cheering their amazing performance.

The rest of the night was spent listening to music and talking. Sam had taken the time to catch up with the others and she told them some of her traveling stories.

Jess and Mike went to their room around one A.M., and Matt and Emily were soon to leave too. Chris and Ashley were slow dancing to a waltz Josh had put on for them. Sam was sitting on the couch, trying not to laugh at Josh who started twerking next to the unaware couple.

“I missed you guys.” Said Sam, too drunk to contain the thought that kept coming back since she first saw Jess in the morning.

“We missed you too.” Said Ashley, smiling sweetly at her.

“Aww… bring it in!”

Before she could process it, Josh was effectively crushing her in a hug after practically falling on the couch.

“Yeah! Group hug!”

Ashley and Chris joined them, and although she could barely breathe, Sam felt great with her friends around her. The alcohol made her drowsy and she was almost sure that Ashley was going to fall asleep too if they stayed in this position a minute longer.

“We should go to bed.”

“It’s not even late...”

“Shush, Josh, I’m with Sam on this one.” Said Ashley, not doing anything to move from the couch.

Chris was the first one to get up. He pulled on Josh’s hand to get him up. Josh made some hissing cat sounds in protestation, but Chris still managed to get him on his feet. Sam helped Ashley to get up and they walked toward the empty rooms upstairs.

“So, where is your next destination?” She asked. “The Ivory Coast? Brazil? Japan?”

Sam took a second to think. She shrugged. “I don’t know. I might stay here for a little while.”

Ashley managed to look up and smile through her tiredness. “That’s nice. If you’re looking for a place to stay, I have a spare room in my apartment. I live close to Josh and Chris, and the others come often visit us.”

A crash rang behind the two women. They turned to see their two friends sprawled on the floor, laughing and blaming each other for their fall. Sam and Ashley shared a look.

“I understand if you don’t want to see them regularly.” Said Ashley with an exasperated look.

Sam smiled. “I think I’ll take your spare room.”

[imaginaryinkweaver]

The Haunted Encounter

Oh my God! This can't be happening. I'm convinced it's all unfolding inside my head. For a moment, I was even scared of my own shadow. The whole event has made my blood run cold. What should I do? 

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Oliver, a tour guide who's been working for an agency for the past five years. Typically, I work for three boring weeks, followed by a blissful seven-day break during which I move to the outskirts. These are the paid holidays which add to my happiness.

But this time, my plans didn’t go hand in hand with my expectations. I received a call from the company manager. 

Manager: "Hello, good morning, Oliver."

Oliver: "Good morning, sir. It's early; is there urgent work?" (Although I wasn't in the mood to take on any work, formalities did force me to ask.)

Manager: "Yes, actually, a group of friends has chosen our company for a trip to Columbus, New York, and Washington. Unfortunately, the assigned tour guide is down with a fever and cough. We need you to lead the task."

Oliver: "I understand, but my holidays have already begun, and I had plans."

Manager: "We will compensate you for your holidays. However, accomplishing this is necessary." 

(I knew my words wouldn't leave any imprint on his decision. Resignedly, I accepted. My days of relaxation were postponed.) The manager emailed me the contact details of the group members. I did my best not to focus on my thoughts but rather to prepare the itinerary for the group. 

Two days later, they arrived in New York. It was a group of friends, nearly my age. Guiding friends was far easier than guiding families. I counted, and there were nine of them, even though their provided data mentioned only eight. I asked, and they recounted, confirming there were nine. I was satisfied and I carried on. Then, I spotted her – a girl I thought I'd seen before. But it couldn't be possible; she was dead. My heart skipped a beat, and I closed my eyes, hoping it was a trick played by my unconscious mind. When I reopened them, she had disappeared. I told myself I was imagining things and continued attending to the group. They were here for an eight-day stay. Our hotel was near the airport. We checked in and headed towards the breakfast hall, where I asked for a table for nine.

It was late evening, and the hall was empty. Although I requested a table for nine, we sat at a table meant for ten. All ten seats were packed up. I tried to ignore this unusual event, focusing on the group. I noticed the girl again. Feeling uneasy, I excused myself from the table, reassuring them to meet them the next morning. That night was restless. Tiredness took over due to the strange events.

I took them sightseeing the following day to famous buildings, museums, and various attractions. They had a wonderful time, painting the town red. Their joys were on cloud nine which made my disappointment vanish. But I didn’t know it was just for a short period! 

On that very day, we travelled to another city. I had booked a ten-seater bus. The bus was full – eight group members, me, and the driver. At the time of exiting the bus at the next hotel, I counted, and there were nine members. My headache got worse the rest day, and I dropped the plan to recount. Back in my hotel room, I sensed some unease. Fatigue overtook unease, and I fell onto the bed. I woke around 2 AM to dim light. 

When I opened my eyes, I saw her – the girl who died in front of me. She was sitting by the desk, playing with a switch. It was horrifying. She was the girl who perished during her vacation here with friends two years ago. The hotel they stayed in suffered from a short circuit, and she had died. I became too selfish to save myself. She was pleading for help but I ignored her. As I opened my mouth to speak, I realised words failed me. She began the conversation, sharing how poor her last moments had been. "Are you here to take my life?" I asked. Her reply was quick: "Yes." I attempted to run, but my legs betrayed me, and I fainted. 

When I woke the next morning, a locket was in my hand. It was hers. Without any second thought, I called the manager, making it clear I wouldn't lead that tour. My voice was filled with fear and panic which convinced him to respect my decision. 

The haunted encounter had changed me forever.

[armpirate]

UNDER YOUR SKIN || JJK || Ch. 25

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: You were awful on anything related to flirting, guys and sex. He was the perfect ladies man. You wanted to get rid of your virginity. And he was there to help you with everything you needed. You didn't have the best start, but that didn't mean you wouldn't have the best of the endings.

Warnings: first time attempt, vaginal sex, hints of trauma and abuse)

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Ever since they started, I did a good job ignoring those nightmares. But yesterday everything felt so vivid, so distressing, that I forgot where I was and who I was with. I've also tried to give it a meaning, it could be one of my insecurities acting up whenever I'm around Jungkook. But it stresses me the fact that the house seems familiar. I have the feeling it actually exists, and I've been there at least once, I can even remember the smell of musty wood. And that would mean those nightmares aren't actually made up, but a memory.

Or maybe I'm just thinking too much about it.

I'm brought back to reality when one of the customers snaps his fingers at me, smiling satisfied when he finally gets me to look at him and pay attention to what he wants.

The fact that my boss is here should've made me be more aware of the environment I'm in and how I can't space out whenever I feel like it. Thank god Jim is too lost in his own world and the group of people he's been paying attention to for the past thirty minutes to even notice it.

And just as expected, he leaves after there are only two tables left. I gotta say he's stayed around longer than he usually does whenever he comes around. Usually he only comes mid-shift, and when he leaves depends on whether we have everything under control or everything is a chaos because of the big amount of people. Like what happened today.

It's Saturday, so it isn't surprising there were a hell lot of customers. Also there isn't a better mix than drunk assholes pushing your buttons and sore legs because you wanted to have fun the night before, and said pain gets multiplied by twenty because you have to walk and stand for eight hours.

I start picking up all the empty glasses when the last table has already paid and is about to leave. Although two knocks on the crystal door, after I see them standing up and leaving, makes me think I will have to fight a drunken asshole because he won't want to leave. It isn't totally a weekend if that doesn't happen.

—We're closed —I inform, not lifting my gaze to the door.

—That's why I'm here.

His voice is so recognizable, it makes me smile instantly to know he's here. Jungkook enters the bar, taking off his jacket while he makes his way to the counter just to leave it there along with a small plastic bag he brought. I don't need to tell him, he walks to the other tables just to do the same thing I'm doing.

—Should I start sharing my tips with you? —I joke—. Every time you come here, you end up cleaning.

—Artist in the morning and pub cleaner at night —he frowns—. Sounds like a lame superhero parody.

—It fits you perfectly then —I tease him.

—Low blow, cocktease —he points his finger at me.

I simply shrug, unable to hide my smile. Not even when we are in silence. It's crazy what he's able to do only with his presence.

—What's the plan for tonight? —I dare to ask.

—We're traveling back in time.

I'm taken aback by his response. Is it going to be one of those weird thematic dates, similar to parties based in the eighties and stuff like that? If so, he should've told me before so I could've gotten something ready.

—You didn't live your teenage years like everyone did —he walks to the counter, and supports his elbows on the surface—. So I thought, how can someone go on adult dates when they haven't gone on average dates first?

—You mean I'm back to being sixteen?

He nods and smirks, before speaking again.

—And you'll pick what kind of crush I am: the bad boy you're sneaking to see or the high school crush.

—Which one were you?

—Neither —he snorts—. I told you I was a donkey. I wasn't lying. I didn't like studying, but I did what I was told to. Normal dude.

—Then play that —I shrug—. I'm on a date with the normal donkey—I fake a disappointed tone.

—Hey, the normal donkey is a sweetheart —he tries to defend himself.

—That's why I picked him.

He looks down and smiles, trying to hide his face from me. Although I can catch a glimpse of his pink cheeks before his locks get in the way.

✸ ✸ ✸

When we're finally done with tidying up the bar, I go to the bathroom to change my black t-shirt to a salmon one and a denim jacket. When I meet him again, he acts shocked and surprised to see me, looking at me from head to toe.

—You look beautiful.

—You're so annoying —I hit his arm, making him chuckle.

—Shall we go?

After nodding, I lead the way outside. Although I stop in front of the door to set the alarm and close it. When I turn around, he's already on his motorbike, waiting for me while holding the handlebar.

—The donkey knows how to ride a motorbike? —I joke, walking up to him.

—The donkey has a dark past, so he's also the bad boy your parents wouldn't want you to date.

—You're taking this too seriously —I cackle.

I hop on the motorbike, noticing while I'm still placing myself behind him how the purple is already fading. Although I really like this color on him, I'm already missing his natural hair color.

Jungkook doesn't tell me where we are going, or what's the plan. He starts the engine and starts driving, only dedicating me a soft smile before. Unlike other times, I like the idea of not knowing what's to come. And the concept of our date is heart-warming, I wouldn't have thought of something like this myself. So the fact that he did means a lot to me.

And I'm going to be honest, when he said he was planning the typical teenage date, nothing came to mind. But when he parks his motorbike in the parking lot near the port, and asks me to follow him until we stop in front of a small sign that has "Bowling & Games" with pink neon lights, I know he put a lot of thought into it.

—Is it open?

—Yup —he smiles proudly—. I spent all evening trying to find a place that was open at this time, and I found this. The bowling is closed, but we can spend some time at the arcade.

Honestly? He could've told me to take a stroll around my neighborhood and it'd have been fine by me. So the fact that he put so much effort on it only makes it even better.

—So this is how you won girls over? —I finally ask when we get to the arcade side of the establishment.

—This is how I desperately tried to win girls over, yes.

While we are at the arcade, we don't talk much. Most of our conversation is reduced to insults and threats, and several dares while we're competing against each other. How competitive we both are isn't good, and clearly neither of us are good losers. Proof of that: we've played on the hockey table six times already, and it's always because the other wants a rematch.

I know all his moves, I know how nervous and impatient he is getting by the way he jumps on his place and twists his tongue against his cheek. He also cracks his neck on both sides, and gives me that challenging look trying to intimidate me.

Ater his confident look turns into an annoyed one when I score the third goal and he's still at zero. He keeps talking to himself, pouting his lips as he usually does when he's ranting or complaining about something. And I find it funny and endearing enough to have me slipping my hand away from the lodge, just so he can slip the disc a few more times.

That smirk and challenging look comes back to his face when we are in a tie. But he obviously doesn't leave it there.

—Cocktease, I told you I'm an ace at this. See how I ascended? —he bends to get better movements— I was the best at this back in Seoul. Don't feel disappointed.

—What do you mean? —I ask annoyed— I let you score all those goals. We'd have finished the match by now.

—It's alright. You don't need to make up exc...

While he's talking, and trying to lecture me, I hit the disc and make it enter his lodge as he tremendously fails while trying to block it.

—What did you say about being an ace and shit? —I tease him, crossing my arms over my chest.

—I was distracted —he looks around—. And I was tired of this game after playing so many times.

—Sure, mr. Ace.

We play most of the games there, and probably we would've played them all if we hadn't been kicked out of the place after Jungkook was caught getting on the basketball game to move the ball in and out the basket constantly just to break the record.

Was it my fault? Probably. I told him he wouldn't be able to break the record, and he took the challenge. But it was totally worth it just to get that picture of him climbing over the crystal wall, with his legs parted, while trying the hardest he could to get the highest score. I'd dare him to do it again only to laugh with him like this.

—He kicked us out, but let's see who breaks the record now.

And that only makes me burst into a harder laughter, that forces me to hold onto his arm just to keep the balance.

When we both stop laughing, Jungkook leads the way to the port and asks me to check my bag. I open it, thinking I won't find anything, but instead, I find a transparent plastic bag filled with ice cream shaped sweets.

—There are no ice cream shops open so late, so I had to improvise —he snatched the bag away from my hands.

—When did you put it in my bag? —although I like the surprise, I'm way too curious to let that slip.

—It was on the counter. I saw it when I was putting the glasses inside the washing machine —he informs me—. I didn't think we'd find the plastic bag on the motorbike when we came back, so your bag was the plan B.

—Smart boy.

He smiles wide, opening the bag and finally letting me pick one of the sweets, just so he can pick another one.

—Oh, ice cream and taking a walk? —he nods— I like it.

We start walking, getting closer to the port and filling the silence with the sound of the wood of the boats cracking because of the movement of the water. He pats my arm, and I open the plastic bag for him so he picks another one.

—How long have you been in New York?

—Five or six years —he scrunches his nose, smiling nervously while trying to remember—. I started the degree at twenty, but joined the military service a year later... Wait, I was seventeen when I graduated, that in Korean age is nineteen and I'm twenty-eight, almost-twenty nine...

He gets lost trying to remember when he did whatever he did, his eyes are up, almost as if he were trying to sneak them inside his brain to get a glimpse of the information he seems to be missing.

—Five years ago —he finishes—. I asked to be transferred after my parents moved here because of Soo, so I finished the degree here.

—How was it? I bet it was difficult at first —we walk side by side, at a slow pace.

—It was —he nods—. But it could've been worse. I started working with Mark almost as soon as I landed in the US, and by the time I graduated, Mark had already turned me into a partner in the studio. I also met Leslie there, so I found myself with a girlfriend and a new group of friends quite fast.

—Do you miss Korea?

—Sometimes —his hands slide through his hair, taking the long locks away from his face so he can look at me properly—. We should take a trip one day. I bet you'd love it.

I can't hide the smile on my face that forms after he says that. Jungkook didn't say that I should go once and visit the country, he said we both should. The two of us together. And whether he's just saying it because it just ran through his mind, or whether he actually wants me to go with me, it's still special for me the wording he used.

—What about you? Do you miss New Jersey?

—Not really —I play with the plastic bag—. I didn't do anything to miss it. I made no memories there, so I don't think there is much to miss.

—Aren't your parents there?

—I haven't talked to them since I moved out. They were devastated when I told them I was going to move here and I was going to study Fine Arts —I tilt my head—. Actually, I did see them when my grandma died, but we didn't talk much —I chuckle—, if not at all. But yeah... it's not like we talk every day and we count the days until I get a few days off so I can see them. They haven't made the effort to come and see me either. I guess it's fine.

It's fine. I will forever be grateful for how hard they worked so I could get everything I needed, and I can't say I feel nothing for them. They will forever be my parents, and if they ever needed something I'd rush wherever they are to give it to them, but some relationships aren't meant to exist. It's better this way than us three forcing the happy family image.

—I'm sorry to hear that.

—Don't be. It's okay.

We stay quiet for a few minutes, although I keep seeing him trying to get the conversation started. He moves his head trying to find the right way to bring up the topic.

—Did you... —he thinks the question— Did you meet someone the week we didn't talk?

—Why? —I giggle— Would you be jealous if I said I did?

It starts as a joke, I meant it as a joke in a dumb attempt to be funny. But his fast "yes", with no hesitation nor doubt in his tone, makes me pause.

—That week I was too busy thinking about you and cursing your existence.

—That's why my ears were beeping all the time.

I see Jungkook laughing, and at the same time his steps also slow down until he stops walking. I look at him, waiting for him to say something. But I'm not ready for the look he's giving me right now. The street lights reflecting in his pupils just make it seem as if I could see the stars through his eyes.

—Fuck it. I can't go slower with you —he mutters.

Before I'm able to react his hands are wrapped around my neck and his lips are locked with mine. My eyelids fall closed when the softness of his lips make me drunk enough that I want to fully enjoy him. His taste mixed with the metallic taste of his lip ring has always had it easy to make me go down bad, but tonight it feels different.

The kiss doesn't go crazy, we don't lose our senses the way we usually do when we end up in this situation. We just kiss and enjoy this beautiful moment until he breaks the kiss. Jungkook's forehead rests on mine, our breaths mixing while our lips are still rubbing against each other.

—Shall we go to my place?

—We always go to your place —I giggle, my arms still wrapped around his waist.

—That's because I like having you there.

He places a soft kiss on the tip of my nose, and holds my hand before he starts leading the way back to where his motorbike is placed.

✸ ✸ ✸

I wasn't nervous when he parked the motorbike and kept being touchy and kissy while we were on the lift. I started being nervous when he made me wait outside of his apartment, and closed the door right on my nose. No explanation, no warning. Just a "Give me a second", with a worried look and the door being slammed.

That, and what happened yesterday only makes me think the worst for a quick second. The worry disappears fast though, as soon as he opens the door again and Jungkook has a radiant smile while the rest of his house is still dark.

He invites me to get in, moving his body away from the door and opening a small gap -big enough so I can walk past it with no problem. And I swear nothing would've prepared me for the way my heart squeezes with such emotion when I see everything he has prepared for me. The path of rose petals from his door to the bedroom, his house only being lit by some candles strategically positioned so he wouldn't need to turn on the lights... This is only for me.

—I know it's a cliche —I hear him on my back—, and something way too used in movies. But you deserved something special, and I couldn't find anything else that could've made it bet...

I interrupt him. I turn on my feet and pull him closer by the neck, shutting him up when my lips collide against his. It's a cliche, it's something that was overused by movies, but it's something he's done for me. He could've done nothing. He could've taken the step last night when I first told him I was ready, he could've gone on with all of it without doing any of this. Yet here we are.

We don't need to speak. The intensity of the kiss and our shaky breaths are loud enough for the both of us. I'm not aware of how big he is, compared to me, until he pushes me and corners me against the door. There's something about my head resting against the wood, his hand pulling my hips closer to his body and his tongue doing those magical moves while we're kissing that make me lose my head.

I'm ready to give him everything.

It just takes us a few minutes more to start taking our clothes off in between kisses and playful bites. Soon everything's gone and we are left only with our underwear. And there's no room for shyness and insecurity. It's just the two of us and this moment. Jungkook picks me up with barely any effort, both of his hands holding my thighs and lifting my body as if I weighed nothing.

Jungkook leaves me carefully on the bed, as if I were the most precious thing in this room and he didn't want me to break. He hovers over me, kissing every bit of skin he finds from my cheeks to my pelvis, leaving my body full of wet kisses. Unlike other times, he doesn't look at me like a prey, he's trying to make it as thoughtful as possible.

He starts sliding my panties down my legs, and he also takes off his boxers so we both are equally naked. He crawls up over my body again, kissing my lips slowly, but with such intensity that I'm convinced I'll go crazy. One of his hands is cupping my cheek, while the other is wandering all over my body, tracing my curves as if he were painting them until his hand finds the knee.

—Open your legs a bit for me —he demands with a raspy voice.

That tone goes straight to my core, that throbs and clenches around nothing, eager for him, eager for what's to come.

His hand moves up my leg again, and disappears in between our bodies until his fingertips meet with the wetness of my pussy. He groans on my lips, kissing me again, while two of his fingers slide in between my folds.

—You're beautiful.

His thumb ghosts my clit in circles, teasing me while two of his fingers are tempting my entrance. He smiles satisfied when I lift my hips, asking for more. And he gives it to me with no hesitation. His digits dig inside, opening me up, stretching me out with delicacy. They move in and out with a slow pace, but he makes sure they are knuckles deep inside of me every time he gets the chance.

Just the image of the tattoos of his fingers disappearing slowly is enough to make me moan right now.

—You're taking it so well, baby.

The combination of what his eyes are showing is confusing and exciting. They're dark, showing the self control he's putting himself under not to fuck my brains out right now; but at the same time, they're filled with care and admiration, as if this first time will forever be marked for us two. And that, that's the duality I always talk about when it comes to him. And seeing it mixed in his eyes for the very first time is the hottest thing I've ever seen.

—Are you ready?

—Yeah —I'm not aware of how nervous I am until I hear my trembling voice.

—If you ever want me to stop —he warns me—, just say it. I won't get mad. Remember communication and knowing your limits.

My heart beats faster when I see it happening. He leans toward the night stand to pull out a shiny wrapping. And I can't look away while he's opening it up with his teeth, taking out the condom to roll it down his cock. Nervousness hits my body right at the same time excitement does.

Jungkook's eyes fall on mine again, looking for reassurance as his cock is lined up towards my entrance. The tip rests against it, and it must be pretty obvious everything that I'm feeling right now, because he cups my cheek again and leans to kiss me again.

I know he's doing it to distract me from the pain, he just wants to make it easier for me. But that darkness suddenly puts my body in alert mode. And it only gets worse when he invades me. I stop feeling him, I stop being aware he's the one trying to make me feel good. Panic installs in my brain, and everything just stops working for me. I'm unable to follow his kiss, or move my hands on his back to encourage him to go further. Instead, I break down crying.

—Stop —I ask him, pushing him by his shoulders—. Please, stop —my voice sounds desperate.

And he does.

He pulls out when I first ask him and cups my cheeks, trying to make me look at him. But I'm too deep into that darkness that I can't find a way out. Every bit of arousal, excitement and confidence I felt vanished the moment I closed my eyes to be replaced by fear, insecurity and desperation to get out of here.

He's able to knock me back to this, to where we are when he hugs me and makes my head rest on his chest. The repetitive, yet soothing sound of his heart beat drags me back here, yet I seem unable to stop crying.

—I'm sorry —I manage to say in between sobs—. I ruined everything. I'm sorry.

—Shh —his fingers dig on my scalp, trying to get me to relax under his touch—. You didn't ruin anything.

That dark feeling doesn't leave me though. It's not like all the other times we were able to brush it off and just go on. It stays with me, it doesn't leave, and some disturbing images keep flashing in my head. It's like those nightmares finally made their way to real life and I can't seem to ignore it nor stop them.

None of us try to talk about it, he knows it's not the moment for it, and I'm too disturbed right now to speak more than just two words together. Jungkook holds me tight, enough to let me know that he's here, that I'm safe. He just comforts me while I'm desperately crying on his chest. Everything keeps replying in my head until it suddenly stops. I'm not aware when I fall asleep, but everything just goes black and stops. 

[stranger-chichka]

The teaser of Starcourt Mall foreshadows seasons 3 & 4

I was scrolling through Maya Hawk’s Instagram after having watched DO REVENGE and came across that teaser of Starcourt Mall. I wanted to scroll on but when I saw THAT SHOT I was stunned to speak...

The commercial begins with the image of the earth. We see the Atlantic Ocean and North America. Blue and green. We hear: "Earth. America. Indiana. Hawkins" and THE FIRST THING TO APPEAR IN THE SHOT IS...the library’s clocktower!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything leads to the library. It is located in the centre of Hawkins. The library = the heart of the town = all the answers are there???? I don't think it's a coincidence the gate met in front of it and Vecna brought his victims there too.

Next shot - Melvald's General Store. This is the store where Joyce has been working for 13 years from 1973 to 1985 (1+3 = 4 = 4 gates) (1+9+7+3+1+9+8+5 = 43. 4+3 = 7 = it was a seven). In s3: 1)Joyce is helping Hopper with his heart-to-heart there; 2) they plan a dinner at Enzo's; 3) also this is the place where Joyce starts feeling concerned about the magnets not working, so it's basically for the foreshadowing of these important moments taking place there.

An important fact I somehow missed - IT'S LOCATED NEXT TO THE LIBRARY. In 3x02 we see a part of the building through the window jf the store + we even can notice a clock, which says...4 OCLOCK!!!

Another shot of the clocktower. This time we see only a clock. It's 5 o’clock (5 letters in “Vecna,” “Henry”, “Creel”). 5 p.m. = 17:00 (1+7 = 8 = infinity sign and Vecna means “timeless” in Slovenian). Also, we hear one chime (001=Henry=Vecna). He was there from the very beginning.

We see HAWKINS HIGH SCHOOL and an image of a tiger (=HHS Tigers Basketball Team but also tigers are in Will's and Mike's rooms). It’s s4 foreshadowing. However, a tiger is a symbol of courage and protection and it's associated with Mike & Will, but in s4 it's Lucas who becomes a part of the Tigers - he's in the basketball team but also Mike passes the pore of protector to him while he's in Cali. The word “dream” and the song that saves Victor Creel from Vecna was “Dream a little dream of me.”

I don’t know what this thing is called in English, is it a playground spinner? But we have the identical one near the Creel’s house in s4. It’s should be the same. In this shot, we see a boy and a blonde girl (=Henry and Alice). They’re spinning counterclockwise (CCKW) - the same way Henry made the grandfather clock go counterclockwise + we have this Steve’s speech about going backwards.

In the next shots we see Starcourt Mall and it says:

“Today, Hawkins is taking another step into the future with the brand new Starcourt Mall.”

In s3 we have direct Back to the Future references (they’re literally watching and discussing that film) but also there’re dozens of hidden ones throughout the whole show (I wrote about some here, here, here, here and here).

There's parking and cars in front o the Mall. The DeLorean time machine from Back to the Future is a car. The Cali group is travelling all over the US in the Surfer Boy Pizza Van (=car) and this is the place where Will and Mike share their feelings. Also, we can see 4 vacant places in the parking and Vecna needs 4 victims to succeed with his plan. Not to speak the mall is associated with blue light and blue light=the Upside Down=Vecna=bad.

Now we see the interior of the mall and the first thing we are shown is a fountain with 8 fish. Again, 8=infinity=Vecna. Water is also a bad sign. We see water everywhere where something bad happens (proofs here).

We see 3 pairs of people's legs. They're wearing converses (2 white pairs and a black one) and high socks with 4 red, 2 blue & 4 yellow and 6 green stripes (together it's 12. 1+2=3). EL, MIKE & WILL TOGETHER ARE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO DEFEAT VECNA.

"Families (there's this mystery whose family is connected to Creels and I do believe it's Wheelers), friends ("We're friends! We're friends!" "We used to be best friends!" and "I think it would be easier if we're a team. Friends. Best friends", and, of course, teenagers (main characters are teens and most of Vecna's victims are teens)..."

The girls in the second picture wear plaid shirts which are the same shades Will ad Mike wear in s4. And that muscular boy...we see him 4 times in this commercial. He's wearing a blue tank top and blue is associated with two people in the show. Mike and Vecna. It's done on purpose. To show there's some connection between these two. They're relatives!

"...can come together..." We see two boys: one wears a yellow t-shirt with blue, red & yellow stripes (red is between blue & yellow) and the other guy wears also something yellow beneath his blue & grey jacket (the colors of Mike's shirt with an envelope-like pocket).

"TO SHOP"

We see Claire's with blue & yellow walls + claire means “clear” “light” or “bright” in french. The yellow light (Will) against the blue light (Vecna) + claire can be a noun meaning “light,” as in the phrase “clair de lune” (“light of the moon”). Also, there are hats and different accessories. We wear them on our heads. And how Vecna kills people? Through their minds!!!! + Dustin's THINKING CAP. They need some kind of protection for their mind from Vecna. And they found it in s4. IT'S MUSIC.

UPDATE! @octobergraea posted this screen and it hit me. This is the scene where Dustin and Mike are looking for a person to play DnD with them instead of Lucas. They failed. Mike says: "I hate high school" and winces. Is it because he thought of Will and the times they were younger and played DnD? Or was it because of something else? Vecna? Is he already Vecnad? But Dustin comes up with some idea and starts running, Mike doesn't get it and Dustin says to trust him. We see them running and we can clearly see blue light. Vecna is watching them. Mike then shouts: "Tell me things!" while the boy is skating (=Max) toward them, and Dustin shouts: "Wear a helmet!" and we also can see Crissy in the next shot. The warning relates to three of them! Crissy, Max and Mike. Mike will be Vecnad in s5 (or he already is in s4 but the GA don’t know yet).

"DINE"

We see Hot Dog on a Stick and the only reference I could think about was Mike refusing to eat pizza and saying: "I'm not a dog!" + considering the fact we see Mike barely eating this season and "a stick" may be called anything or anybody taller than 6 feet and less than 120 pounds.

"HANG OUT"

We see a man with the headphones, he's giving Max s4 vibes, but she should hang out while listening to the music non-stop because this is how she can avoid being Vecna'd and killed.

"AND ENJOY"

We see a kissing couple near the fountain. They wear blue & yellow pants. Here El is a man and Mike is a woman. The man in blue pants initiates the kiss = El initiates all their kisses in s3 and is thinking about Mike - that's why she's wearing blue. The girl (=Mike) is wearing yellow pants = Mike's thinking about Will during the kiss, and she doesn't even touch the guy (same with Mike).

The next thing we see -the wall with red, yellow and purple colors. The flowers on the hill in the final scene of s4 are the same colors. A muscular man in a blue tank top is walking toward two women. He is passing a red (El) and purple (Mike & El) stripe and ends near the yellow (Will) one. And who is into muscles and has a crush on Superman? Michael.

"With retail options..."

We move on to the clock where blue meets yellow in the west. it says 6:30 (6+3+0=9) or 18:30 (1+8+3+0=12. 1+2=3). In s4 6:30 was the exact time Mike's flight left for Cali (thanks @madwheelerz for that detail!!!).

So, Mike (=blue) flies to California (which is in the west) to meet Will (=yellow), and Vecna kills Chrissy (=Silver cat feeds).

"...for every member of the family."

And we see the same girl who was kissing near the fountain. She's chilling with her friends, but without her boyfriend (=Mike's chilling with Will, Lucas and Max in s3 after having spent time with El). They're passing Wicks 'n' Sticks which is a candle store. Candle = yellow light = Will. Wick in slang means "very good, excellent, cool" ("Cool" "Cool" Byler scene) and I already wrote about a stick.

So, the girl in yellow pants = Mike, which means the words refer to him. He's a member of the family. The member of Creel's family, because everything in Stracourt Mall points at Vecna. CREELS AND WHEELERS ARE CONNECTED.

We see shoes, again. But not just random shoes. Nike. The Greek goddess of victory. And purses ("You've packed already?" "I mean, I never really unpacked.") We still have a lot to unpack about the Wheelers.

"INCLUDING THE GAP"

Whose mom is buying him clothes in GAP and Eddie mentions it in s4? Mike's. By the way, there is a kind of “urban legend” saying GAP stands for Gay And Proud. Sure, it’s a lie, but the fact the Duffers turned it into a joke, a joke connected to Mike in particular (like with “El? Not interested.” in s3). Also, we see a mannequin with a red scarf which foreshadows Vecna choking El during Mike's monologue in s4.

We can notice our muscular boy with the yellow bag.

"THE WALDEMBOOKS"

Walden means "wooden alley" and we see 4 books "The Hunt for the Red October" in the window. Red October is the name of the soviet union's newest nuclear submarine. Submarine=water=bad. It also foreshadows russian connection to the Upside Down in s3 and s4.

"AND SAM GOODY"

Sam means "told by God" and "God hears" (maybe the reference to Sam from Lord of the Rings) and goody - something that is particularly attractive, pleasurable, good, or desirable. Mike's thought about Will maybe, idk. I don't quite understand if it's a strange pocket on the jeans from the poster or what is it? If it's a pocket then it's a reference to Mike's envelope-like pocket in s4.

"Starcourt Mall has it all."

Again, we see a fountain and some more shops: Radio Shack (the place where Bob worked in s2 changed location and Mike was the one to talk about Bob being the founder of AV Club in s2), ZALES (this is the name of a jewellery store where Mike wanted to buy El a bear), Claire's (claire = light = Mike sees Will in a yellow light), KAUFMAN SHOES (maybe the reference to Marta Kauffman - a writer and producer of "FRIENDS" and Mike is the one talking "friends" word a lot referring to Will in s4), Jazzercise (in s3 Steve thinks the guy who works there is a russian spy and also we have this video of Karen Wheeler dancing there...) and Wicks 'n' Sticks (mentioned before). Nine shops in total. 9.

"AND DON'T FORGET"

Season 4. Joyce, Jonathan & Mike forgetting Will's birthday and other facts mentioned in the shed in s2 + we don't see Mike eating.

"...a state-of-the-art food court..."

Vecna is artistic as well as Will.

The great cookie = "No sweetie pie"

Teppanyaki (teppan - “iron plate” and yaki - “frying; roasting; broiling”) = "Father's kidneys!" moment in Suzie's house in s4 maybe?

New York Pizza = Surfer Boy Pizza in s4

Hot Sam (Sam = Samwise = Mike)

Burger King = "Heroes" by David Bowie: "I will be king and you will be queen"

Julius - "youthful, downy-bearded" (Maybe reference to GA party DnD characters? Will draws them with beards).

Strawberry - Alexei, Pineapple - Mike, Peach & Lemon - I have no idea.

"...is just an escalator ride away."

We see 2 boys (twins???) wearing identical clothes and having pies on their heads =Mike can't decide who his "sweetie pie" is - El or Will? And the guy (the one who went from red color to yellow) reaches one of the pies. Mike should choose between two siblings.

"Featuring America's favourite place to cool down..."

He likes it cold. When it's cold I want to die. The preacher likes the cold. Cold is associated with blue color. Scoops Ahoy has a lot of blue everywhere. Blue=Vecna=evil. Bad things happen to Steve and Robin when they're wearing Scoops Ahoy's uniform. + it's related to after and water is bad.

The girl is feeding the boy in glasses = El feeding Mike with pizza in s4 and earlier in the same scene he was wearing glasses he made for El.

The colors of the boy's t-shirt are yellow, blue & purple. Do you remember Mike's bouquet for El with yellow and purple flowers? Mike = blue. Yellow flowers= Will. Purple flowers = him and El. 70/30=Will/Milkvan. By the way, we see that boy near the GAP and we already know GAP is associated with Mike.

At last, two final shots - we see the fountain for the fourth time and then - the boys from "come together" moment and the girl in yellow pants with her friends. They're near Claire's. Once again, "claire" means "light, clear". Everything will be clear for us, the audience, in s5.

[mercerislandbooks]

50 Years of Island Books: Laurie Frankel

Laurie Frankel is the New York Times bestselling, award-winning author of four novels. Her writing has also appeared in The New York Times, The Guardian, Publisher’s Weekly, People Magazine, Lit Hub, The Sydney Morning Herald, and other publications. She is the recipient of the Washington State Book Award and the Endeavor Award. Her novels have been translated into more than twenty-five languages and been optioned for film and TV. A former college professor, she now writes full-time in Seattle, Washington where she lives with her family and makes good soup.

Miriam: Let's start with your first visit to Island Books. Where were you in your career then, and what stood out about the store?

Laurie: Which is also the answer to your question, I’m afraid. I can’t remember my first visit to IB which I actually think speaks to what a great bookstore it is: it feels like it’s always been there and always been a part of my world. Island Books is my favorite kind of bookstore which is to say big enough to have a wide selection, small enough that good, smart readers have culled and curated, with booksellers (said good, smart readers) who are warm and welcoming but also give you space to browse and get lost looking for what you want to read next, plus the children’s section of my (and my kid’s) dreams. I also adore a neighborhood bookstore, and IB is the best kind (since your neighborhood is an island). MI is the perfect size — big enough to have everything you need, close enough to get anywhere you need to go, but small enough to be a community — and it seems to me that Island Books mirrors that exactly.

Miriam: I agree with that description! That's nice that IB feels like it has always been a part of your world. Many of us feel that way. Let's get a little more personal now. Your Instagram is visual ecstasy for a soup lover. If you were making a soup to bring to one of Island Books' Cookbook Club meetings, what would it be? Are we comforting like chicken noodle soup? Good for your health like a carrot lentil? We accept recipes on this blog, fyi, in case you feel like sharing...

Laurie: I mean the good thing about carrot lentil soup is it’s also vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free…really whatever dietary restrictions your group has, lentil soup probably works around them. Also it’s super good for you. Mine has, in addition to lentils and carrots, piles and piles of kale. It’s my most-made soup by a mile, probably every other week at least in winter. All that said, it’s not very fancy, is it? So if I wanted to show off a little, I might do gumbo in the winter, gazpacho for summer.

And alas, I cook like I write: very by-the-seat-of-my-pants, no outlines, no recipes, lots of revisions/adding and adjusting till it sounds/tastes right.

Miriam: So you're a pantser. Well, what's that saying, "The way you do one thing is the way you do everything?" I'm thinking about your books now, mainly This is How it Always Is, which is a particular favorite of mine. Did you know how it would end when you began writing, or did that evolve as you wrote deeper into the story and the characters? That book felt well-structured, so I'm curious if you reverse-engineered it. How does a person become a good cook, anyway? (Asking for a friend, of course.)

Laurie: So first off, thank you much for your kind words about the books. They mean the world, truly.

Secondly, I think I’m not a pantser in all aspects of my life. I’m a planner when I travel, for example. I like to plan when I can. But I can’t when I’m writing (and, I suppose, needn’t when I’m cooking). If I could make an outline, I surely would. It would save a lot of time and lost words. I cut 250,000 words from This Is How It Always Is. If there had been a way to not write them in the first place, that definitely would have been the cheaper way.

All of which is to say, yes I reverse-engineered that book (and all my books). Or maybe less reverse-engineered and more looped. I wrote from the beginning to the end of that book a few hundred times, each time tweaking and improving by teeny bits then going back and fixing what those teeny tweaks broke, again and again and again until it worked. So it gets well structured by cutting away everything that’s not working and going back and planting what’s missing and then connecting up what’s left. I love it, but it’s not a process I would describe as linear.

Miriam: That's fascinating and an excellent process to think about in this space, as we explore how an indie bookstore comes to be, evolves, and endures. The entire literary community is constantly tweaking and improving little by little, all of us in our individual and communal ways. The bookstore is just an amplification of all the minds like yours contributing to the discourse.

Speaking of contributing, I understand you have a new novel coming in 2024. Would you tell us about it before signing off?

Laurie: Yes! Thank you for asking. The new book is called Family Family. Out 1/23/24. It’s about adoption—many different kinds of adoption, in fact—and Broadway and Hollywood and a movie star and a bunch of totally unrelated but actually sort of related kids and how a dream job is still a job and how large, strange, sprawling, non-traditional families are also after all just families. I hope everyone in the whole world will love it!

Miriam: It sounds wonderful and we are looking forward to sharing it with the world. Thanks so much for your time and thoughtfulness, Laurie. Come visit us soon!

To our store community, the next edition of 50 Years of Island Books is a double dose! I'll have Rachel Linden (Recipe for a Charmed Life is coming in 2024) share a special recipe that I've unofficially named "Rachel-Linden's-Take-a-Trip-to-Island-Books-Luscious-Lemon-Bars," and Martha Brockenbrough (her next nonfiction book for teens, Future Tense, will also hit shelves in 2024). As a Bellevue native, Martha says she has no memories of life without Island Books.

—Miriam

[tallmantall]

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth – ‘All We Want Is Him Back.’ Pioneers Of #College Football’s #MentalHealth Movement, Mark & Kym #Hilinski Continue To Share Son’s Story

By Theo Lawson theol@spokesman.com(509) 939-5928 Four days after Tyler #Hilinski died by #suicide, former #WashingtonState wide receiver CJ Dimry approached the quarterback’s father, Mark, at a funeral service in Southern California. Dimry, Hilinski’s former teammate and roommate, began by telling Mark he didn’t own a car during his time in #Pullman. Somewhat puzzled by the remark, Mark Hilinski responded, “Yes, CJ, I know.” The story would come full-circle eventually, but over the next few minutes Dimry explained that his mother died from cancer when he was 5 years old – something the Hilinskis already knew. The part they weren’t aware of: For nearly 15 years, Dimry had sought out counseling to help him cope with the loss. Dimry’s visits ranged from weekly to monthly to annually, but he had regular counseling during his three-year stay in #Pullman. Almost without exception, #Hilinski was the one who’d drive his friend to the appointments. #Hilinski would normally pass the time by finding dinner and waiting in his car. When Dimry finished, it wasn’t unusual for the #WSU teammates to recap the counseling session on the way home. More than four years removed from their son’s #suicide , it’s one of the painful questions that still lingers for Mark and Kym #Hilinski, who understand they may never get the answers they’re seeking. “He’s 20 feet from a door,” Mark said. “Why didn’t he ask for help?” With Dimry’s blessing, it’s a story the Hilinskis have shared hundreds of times speaking to #football players and #studentathletes around the country while representing their #nonprofitfoundation, #Hilinski’sHope. The foundation was launched not long after Tyler’s death with a mission of educating and advocating for #mentalhealth and wellness, while working to eliminate the #stigma associated with #mentalillness. Mark and Kym have made this their life’s work. From their standpoint, they had no choice. For more than three years, they have delivered “Tyler Talks” to various groups. They traveled to the Inland Northwest for a visit with Whitworth’s #football and women’s volleyball players Wednesday afternoon. Roughly 80 miles from where their son played #college #football at #WashingtonState, the Hilinskis still express an affinity for the region, even if it does bring some complicated emotions. “I feel like we’re home,” Mark told a crowd of roughly 200 at Whitworth’s Weyerhaeuser Hall. “We loved it here.” Mark and Kym were in Reno, Nevada, on Tuesday speaking with Nevada’s football team – now coached by Ken Wilson, the former #WSU assistant once responsible for recruiting Tyler to #Pullman. They flew from Reno to Spokane the same evening, met with Whitworth #athletes from 1:30-2:30 p.m. Wednesday and caught a 5 p.m. flight ahead of Thursday’s “Tyler Talk” with a group of #highschoolathletes in Portland. The Hilinskis plan to visit 17 states over the coming months, including a trip to Hawaii. Later this month, they’ll wedge in a flight to Ireland to watch their youngest son, Ryan, a junior quarterback at Northwestern, play against Nebraska in the “Aer Lingus #College #Football Classic.” Ryan, Northwestern’s presumptive starter this season, is still wearing his brother’s No. 3. “We jump on planes, we sleep a bit and we do it all over again,” Kym Hilinski said. “… I think there’s a need and I think these coaches and these universities are realizing it. Maybe it’s Tyler’s story, too. We always say, if it can happen to Tyler …” The Hilinskis uprooted their lives to spread Tyler’s story, raise funds for #mentalhealthawareness and bring light to issues that are often untouched, particularly when it comes to #male #collegeathletes. The family sold its Southern California home and two vehicles, and Mark stepped away from his job in retail technology so he and Kym could focus on #Hilinski’sHope. “Retail technology is a lucrative business, telling this sad story is not,” Mark said. “It’s not meant to be, that’s not the purpose. So I did start a new company this year to help on that side. But to the bigger point, we weren’t planning for this growth and we’re sort of caught flat-footed with the amount of requests.” Whitworth coach Rod Sandberg was connected to the Hilinskis through Ian Furness, a KJR Radio host, FOX 13 sports anchor and #WSU alum whose son, Kiefer, plays on the Pirates’ offensive line. In 2019, Furness hosted a golf tournament in Maple Valley, Washington, that raised money for #Hilinski’sHope. “I said, ‘I don’t have any money,’ ” Sandberg said. “They do this to raise money to make a difference. I said, ‘You choose the date, I’ll make the time.’ “I can talk about it all I want. They experienced it. The courage they have to stand up there and share is unbelievable. You can just tell, they had all our players’ attention and able to say go get help in a way I can’t do.” #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Although many are still reluctant to engage in #mentalhealth conversations, the Hilinskis receive constant affirmation that they’re making an impact on young lives. “Someone comes up and whispers in my ear, ‘You just saved my life,’ ” Kym said. “That is so humbling and it just floors you and honestly it happens after every ‘Tyler Talk.’ Every talk I would say, ‘You changed my life’ or ‘You saved my life.’ ” Solo Hines, a junior running back at Whitworth, admitted he’s confronted #suicidalthoughts and battled #depression in the past. Wednesday’s “Tyler Talk” hit close to home for the Kent, Washington, native, serving as a reminder that resources are always available to those struggling. “It really felt welcoming, it felt like home to me to hear that,” Hines said. “I didn’t really know this at the time, or at the time I was going through my #depression and #suicidalthoughts, but it’s good to know there’s people that love me for me, that will help me and care about me as well.” Kym Hilinski acknowledged the pressure facing #studentathletes in 2022. As a projected Pac-12 starting quarterback in the midst of the #socialmedia era, Tyler encountered his share of those pressures at #WSU, but Kym believes the transfer portal, as well as new name, image and likeness (NIL) opportunities, have added to the strain of being a modern-day #collegeathlete. “So much pressure and #stress that I don’t think they realize how much pressure and stress they’re under,” she said. “Or they do and they’re #athletes and they suck it up,” Mark said. Through in-person and virtual visits with more than 150 universities, the Hilinskis have seen an evolution in the way college athletic leaders – particularly head football coaches – approach #mentalhealthissues. Some of the earliest “Tyler Talks” were athlete-only affairs, but Mark and Kym notice coaches in the audience more often. It’s not uncommon for them to hold exclusive meetings with coaching staffs that are eager to learn what they can do for their players. “We had somebody that needed attention during the middle of a talk, head football coach on the West Coast stopped the thing, they all loved on this #kid, the players got around him,” Mark said. “If you could bottle that, it would snap the #stigma in #college #football.” “If your coach knows and believes you have to take care of your #mentalhealth,” Kym said, “then I think the #studentathletes say, ‘I do, I have to.’ ” Whitworth defensive back and junior captain Colten Chelin agreed conversations surrounding #mentalhealth and #mentalwellness have become more prevalent since he joined the #football team in 2018. “They’re always going to tell you, ‘Oh be tough, you’re fine, put some dirt on it,’ and you can’t do that with #mentalhealth,” he said. “So the #stigma is slowly going away, but this was a great reminder of it.” Even with all the work they’ve done, Mark and Kym Hilinski know their job is nowhere near finished. In 2020, they earned a Stuart Scott ENSPIRE Award from ESPN during ESPYs week. They’ve made multiple appearances on NBC’s “Today” show to share Tyler’s story. They recently made an ESPN.com list naming “The 11 biggest power brokers and advocates shaping the future of #college #football.” Others on the list included SEC Commissioner Greg Sankey and Jackson State coach Deion Jackson. Recognizing the website probably considered them “advocates” more so than “power brokers,” Mark still couldn’t resist the joke: “Kym Hilinski and Greg Sankey, the power brokers of #college #football.” Through #Hilinski’sHope, the couple launched “Game Plan,” an six-part online #mentalhealth course that can be purchased for $6. Their “Unit3d” podcast, sponsored by #Hilinski’sHope and hosted by #sports #psychologists and #mentalhealthprofessionals, just completed its 150th episode. This year alone, they’re scheduled to deliver more than 100 “Tyler Talks” – a stark increase from the 18 they gave in the first year. “We don’t have answers. We’re not telling people, ‘Go drink this water and everything will be fine,’ ” Mark said. “It’s just, if you give them enough of a story that hurts, it tends to just resonate a little bit. … There’s no amount of work we can do where it fixes it.” Near the end of an interview Wednesday, Mark Hilinski pulled out his phone to make sure he and his wife were still on track to catch a flight to Portland. With a photo of Tyler in place as his wallpaper, Mark couldn’t help but grin upon noticing the time: 3:33 p.m. Tyler, as noted, wore No. 3. “All we want is him back,” Kym said. “We’d give everything to have Tyler back.” Read the full article

[chooseyouovereveryone]

Your coming out story sounds interesting so I’d love to hear it if you felt comfortable to share more :)

Well I did actually blog about my full coming out story for pride month before and it’s pinned on my profile under “personal”, but in a nutshell…

I definitely always had signs I was gay growing up that I can recognise in hindsight but I didn’t realise at the time. But I was probably like 16/17 when I started questioning my sexuality, but any time the thought would come up I would shove it deep down and try to suppress it.

I definitely had feelings for my best friend at the time but I tried to push it away and I got sucked into comp het life instead and became a serial dater with guys and I was just trying to be like everyone else around me. Whenever I slept with a guy I would feel awful afterwards like it didn’t feel right and I felt guilty almost? And I could never catch feelings for any of them even though I dated some really nice guys. But the math wasn’t mathing and I just thought I was a cold, heartless person or something was wrong with me.

Around the time I was 17/18 I discovered Brittana from Glee and they literally changed everything for me bc they made something click in me bc I finally felt represented, and I began to accept that I liked girls. I didn’t accept I was a lesbian yet, just that I liked girls, and I never told anyone either. Just kept it all to myself and continued to date guys and got defensive if anyone ever questioned my love life.

Then when I was 19 I met a girl and we clicked instantly and became best friends like overnight but there was always this flirtatious energy between us and we were like attached at the hip. I literally used to skip uni all the time to go stay with her in London and we were like unhealthily obsessed with each other. Then one night we got drunk and kissed and I was like woah…& then a few weeks later we hooked up and it was the first time sex felt right for me. But the next morning I felt so panicked I literally threw up lol and spent all day googling if it meant I was gay now.

So we didn’t speak about it and it took me a few weeks to process but I began to accept I actually did like her and we started sleeping together but for ages we would just never talk about it or acknowledge it and any time I tried she would shut me down bc she was even more in denial than I was. So that’s when I turned 20 and told my friends bc I felt like I needed to tell someone. And then my best friend at the time, her boyfriend outed me at her 21st birthday party to all our friends and social group bc he was mad that I was texting this girl I was in the situation with all night instead of enjoying the party. He shouted “why don’t you just admit to everyone you’re a lesbian?” and I was so mortified and cried all night haha!

Meanwhile the situation with the girl was still super confusing bc we were so on and off and like she wouldn’t let me date other people but she wouldn’t fully commit to be my girlfriend either bc she said she could never properly date a girl and it all got very toxic and messy but I guess in hindsight she was just struggling too with everything. I really wanted to come out in time for my 21st birthday (I was labelling myself as bi at this point) and introduce her as my gf but when the time got near she wasn’t ready so I never came out bc I knew if I did it would out her too (by this point we lived together and literally shared a bed every night so our families were already suspicious)

I just figured she would come out in time and it would all be okay so that relationship with us continued for 3 years and got more and more unhealthy and then when I was 22 we both graduated uni and did summer programmes in America. We applied for the same programme but she didn’t get accepted into mine so I went to Cali, she went to Florida, and we had all these plans to travel together and then get an apartment in London when we got back but when she got to Florida she ended up getting with another girl and being official with her straight away and I was so hurt and blindsided (we’ve talked this all out since and basically being in another country gave her courage to be fully out). But at the time I just felt so heartbroken bc she could never be like that with me in the 3 years we were a thing so I literally swore off girls and was like “I’m only dating guys from now on bc they can’t hurt me.”

So that’s what I did for the next couple of years and I even told all my friends I was straight and it had all been a phase. In the midst of that I fell madly in love with a straight girl so…who was I kidding? But all that heartbreak further proved to me I didn’t wanna date girls and risk being hurt.

Fast forward to the beginning of 2020, I was 26 and finally felt like I’d processed the heartbreak and worked on myself and I decided to date both girls and guys after a break from dating altogether, and just see what happened. I dated a couple of girls but nothing serious took off and then I started dating a guy in June bc I convinced myself it would be an “easier life”, and then in July, Naya Rivera (who I looked up to so much during my early sexuality struggles) passed away, and it literally brought all the memories back. I rewatched Glee and rediscovered Brittana and I had like this huge epiphany of life being too short and that I should be authentic, so that’s what I did. I embraced myself as not just someone who likes girls, but as a lesbian, and finally fully admitted it to myself. I broke things off with the guy I was dating and I’ve never looked back.

From then on I really found myself, started dating girls and I came out to my parents a couple of months later bc they had just never known everything that had went on bc my 1st relationship had to be so secret. They weren’t shocked though so I guess it must have been obvious. My friends always knew the history so I was just like “so I’m dating girls again…” and none of them were shocked. I’m lucky to not have had any awful reactions and to be accepted, my dad took a while to come around, but now the initial shock has worn off he is super supportive.

So I guess it’s been almost 3 years since I fully came out properly and I’ve been so happy since I did. It’s been a process for sure, but like I said I’m grateful to have had a positive experience from the people around me. My difficulties I think stemmed more from not being truthful to myself, but I am now so :)

Also sorry I love how I said “in a nutshell” then wrote an essay, but it’s shorter than my blog post at least haha!

[kerala-blogs]

GOD'S OWN COUNTRY

Kerala is known as 'God's Land' and rightly so, Kerala is a picturesque state located in the South of India. The lush boardwalks and backwaters will soothe your mind and soul and give you the vacation you've been waiting for. Winter in Kerala is considered the best season to plan a vacation. Kerala's warm temperatures provide perfect conditions to escape freezing temperatures and spend time with your loved ones, friends and family in a boathouse.

Three years ago i completed my board exams and was getting ready to enjoy my summer holidays. My family decided to take me to Kerala for summer vacation. We tend to reach the city through train and that we travelled 15 hours to reach that beautiful state. We tend to reach our destination around 12.00pm in the noon and had rest in our assigned rooms. As first day of our tour we made it to Thiruvananthapuram and visited a famous temple named Shree Padmanabhaswamy Temple this temple is full of mystery and unique dress code was followed in the temple, this there were secret tunnels under the temple and many rumors and mystery was revolving around this tunnels among the people over there and we came to know many interesting facts about the temple during the visit. We took alot of photographs and shared it in our social media handles. We got to try alot of foods originated in kerala and we also got to try alot of different foods from different cuisine in this trip.

Then we decided to experience some breezy beaches of kerala. Thereby we planned our second day schedule and visited Kovalam beach, Hawah beech, Veli beach. Kovalam beach is considered to be one of the major beaches in trivandrum and is situated just at the distance of 17kms comprising a group of three remarkable crescent shaped beaches, namely samudra beach, hawah beach, and light house beach. Kovalam beach is always buzzed with activities.

And we visited the other beaches near kovalam. we wore our swimming dress and enjoyed the pool located in our resort for almost 2 hours. And the resort management organized the resort well for our stays. The comfortness offered by resort made us enjoy the short vacation happily.

We tried alot of food stalls located around the beaches, and we also did some street shopping in the beach. We went on a boat ride for which kerala is famous for. Finally we visited a sunset point where we got to see a beautiful picture perfect sunset view. We clicked alot of sunset photos and videos and created tons of memories in kerala. As it was three day trip our final day in kerala went on checking out rooms and packing for our departure. We took a return train at 5.30pm from trivandrum and reached vellore by 8.30am the next day morning by this our short kerala trip came to an end.

[neferdede]

8 Activities To Add To Your Phuket, Thailand Group Trip Itinerary

The Thailand Hotties Takeover Made It Out Of The Group Chat

Sawasdee Krab, fellow beautiful people! Join me as I recap the amazing adventure of Jewel’s Twenty Fine birthday group trip to Phuket, Thailand. Last year May 2023 we celebrated the fabulous twenty-fifth birthday of my dear friend Jewel. From exciting interactions while swimming with the elephants to dancing the night away at Sugar Phuket. Our 13-day adventure in the Land of Smiles was a celebration of culture, friendship, and unforgettable moments.

In the year 2023 alone I traveled to 4 countries and had the hottest summer full of excitement and fun experiences. My friend Jewel sent out her birthday invitations for her group trip to Thailand back in November of 2022. To confirm and hold our spots we each had to pay a deposit of $200. If you decided last minute you no longer wanted to attend then you would forfeit your deposit. In which I thought was a very smart idea. The group chat originally started with I believe 13 or 14 people. But only 10 of us made it out of the chat. Bare in mind that we were splitting the cost based on the confirmed headcount and deposits paid. However, I would just like to add that if you know financially you are not in a position to afford a trip abroad before you say yes think about the expenses and how it will affect the planning process. Don’t be selfish and drop out 1 month or a few weeks before the trip. It’s inconsiderate and unfair to those who have already put money down.

I honestly commend Jewel because the trip was organized very well from the beginning. She went the extra mile to make sure each of us were accommodated and felt included in the planning process. She created a group chat with everyone who was invited and then informed us to download the app Plannet. This app is genius, it gives you the financial breakdown and itinerary all in one app. You can add your Airbnb to the itinerary, add time slots for each activity, see the cost of each restaurant and excursion, and also connect with locals via the app.

Be sure to download the app Plannet.io to curate the trip itinerary and keep track of the individual financial obligations in the app.

JFK > Germany (10 hour layover) > Singapore > Phuket, Thailand

We left JFK on May 9th in the evening and landed the next day at Frankfurt airport. Our 10 hour layover in Germany was super long but we made the best of it. We took a train ride into a local town shopping center, ate lunch and shopped around. It was my second time to Germany but my German is not the greatest, we had a hard time navigating the train sysytem but figured it out. Have you ever showered in the airport? It was quite the experience, think of showering in the gym or a spa that is what it felt like. Frankfurt airport had the nap pods , I wanted to try it out because I was sooo sleepy but they all were booked out.

Phuket, Thailand > Bangkok > Abu Dhabi > JFK

As we touched down in Thailand, all I remember was that the air was thick and it was extremely HOT!! Our home for the trip, a luxurous villa booked via Air BnB, that sat high up on a hill and came with a scenic view of Phuket.

Check out our Phuket, thailand Itinerary below:

Ma Doo Bua Cafe

This restaurant is one of the top instagrammable places in Thailand. The aesthetic and overall tranquility is extremely aesthetically pleasing. For just 500 Baht and up, you can get drone photos and videos taken of you and share to your instagram. You are on a boat in the middle of an oasis of lily pads and a drone flies over your head, you have to be quick to strike a pose. The cafe offers meals as well, but in my opinion the food was not the best in comparison to the food we ate at other locations. I was honestly just there for the aesthetics and photo opps.

Big Buddha

Please note this is spiritual grounds, be respectful and be mindful of your outfit choice for this day. Cover up, dress modest, and wear flats or sneakers because you will be doing a lot of walking. The guards at the front will direct you to get a scarf for sale if you are not appropriately dressed. The Big Buddha offered panoramic views of Phuket and a sense of spiritual serenity. The intricate details of the statue, standing at 45 meters tall, were awe-inspiring. The surrounding temple grounds provided a peaceful retreat, allowing us to reflect on the beauty of Thai culture. This is a hot spot for tourists it does get crowded just be aware of your surroundings and enjoy the beauty the statue brings.

Swimming with the Elephants

After learning that the elephants are maltreated and we are not supposed to be on their backs, I was hesistant to go. I know there are sanctuaries that take care of their elephants, however we already booked the excursion to the swim with the elephants at the beach. The elephants are trained very well and the trainers will tell the elephants to splash you, smack your butt with their trunk, or give you a kiss. The area in the water where the “swimming” takes place, is not that sanitary becuase the same water you take pictures with the elephants is where the elephants deficate. I personally was not too fond of this excursion but the photos came out super cute. Bare in mid the walk down and up from the beach is long and if you are not in any condition to walk that long and far think twice before booking. Whew chile, it was hot and tiresome.

Tiger Kingdom Phuket

Our next adventure took us to the Tiger Kingdom in Phuket, where we shared ooohs and awwws at the baby cubs. From playful cubs to the adults tigers, interacting with these cats up close was both exhilarating and humbling. It was an experience that left me with a appreciation for wildlife. I was extremely nervous to take pictures with the tigers. Once I learned the tigers were sedated and the trainers are there to ensure you are okay, I calmed down. I enjoyed taking pictures with the tigers more than the elephants to be honest.

Yacht Day - Shades of Brown

Jewel celebrated her birthday on the Yacht with balloons and a chef. The theme was for everyone to wear bathing suits in shades of brown because her last name is Brown which was such a cute idea. Unfortunately on this day was not feeling well at all. I was coming down with a cold due to the tropical weather and going in and out of the water. I got to take some really cute photos and even ride the jet ski. I recommend adding a yacht day to your birthday trip itinerary becuase it’s all about the experience. Popping champagne in the middle of the ocean is always a grand time!

Day Trip to Phi Phi Islands

We were originally supposed to spend 2 nights in Phi Phi Islands but changed the plan to take a day trip instead. We were greeted by coach bus driver that took us the marina where the boats were docked to carry us to Phi Phi Islands. We took the fastest speed boat to the islands and the the waves were too much I was literally scared the entire time. When we arrived we went to Monkey Beach where the monkeys were scattered all over the beach. They were cute but the staff inormed us not to bring anything off of the boats on to the beack because the monkies will attack and some people did not listen. They brought their items onto the beach and of course there were a few tussles with the mokeys. LOL it was scary because they were small but vicous.

Maya Beach Club

We visited Maya Beach club on our first day of the trip where we had lunch. This beach club is cool and hip to the Afrobeats. The drinks were so cute, we rented cabanas on the beach but the waves were crashing into the shore so strongly that the cabanas were getting wet. I took the cutest photos at the beach club that I never posted of course. But overall if you are looking for a fun daytime activity that is chill, check out this spot. We heard at night it is really live and I believe they star serving hookah after 5:00pm, however hookah or no hookah this beach club is great for photos and a lovely day at the beach.

Visit Patong Beach at night - Sugar Club Phuket (Afrobeats nights on Thursdays)

We partied at Sugar nightclub from the very first night and each night we visited it was a vibe. We did visit another club on the strip but our favorite nightclub on the island was Sugar due to the Afrobeats they played. Being that we were a group of all Africans who listen to Afrobeats it was only right to enjoy a spot that catered music to us. The memories created on the dance floor and on the stage (iykyk) will be remembered for a lifetime.

Bonus: Ride a Tuk Tuk in Patong Beach to one of your destinations and get Henna Tattoos at the beach.

As our Thai adventure came to an end, I was sad to go but a time was had in this tropical paradise. Thailand had given us more than memories! I cannot wait to travel back and this time to Bangkock.

Sawadee Krap, Thailand! Your beauty, warmth, and hospitality will be eternally cherished in our hearts.