#and may those three times in which he had killed some bad people be mentioned

[dark-giver]

I hope in Witchlight we will find out why Aeduan left the monastery

[rollinouttahere-writes]

helloo!! Can we please have dark chocolate number 13 with Ace pls \(//∇//)\ thank you!!♡♥︎♡♥︎╰(*´︶`*)╯🍫♡

Yandere Ace x GN!Reader

1.1k words

Prompt:

I’m so happy to have you here with me, I will never want anyone else. You have more of a hold on me than you’ll ever know.

It’s been a few hours since you’ve last seen Ace. An eternity in his book, barely a breath of fresh air in yours. During your precious alone time, you elected to stay in his cabin and tidy up the place. His tendency to just throw shit and leave it wherever it falls left the room in a chaotic state, and that got on your nerves given that this is where you spend almost every waking moment of your day.

Going out amongst the other people on the Moby Dick always left a bad taste in your mouth. They would give you pitying glances at best, but never lend a hand to help. They ultimately cared more about Ace’s well being than yours, and since your presence was directly tied to his mental state, your fate was sealed.

You never asked for any of this. No one wants to get dragged off onto a pirate ship because the captain of it got too attached. You had a glimmer of hope that you may be able to escape after the Spade Pirates were forcibly disbanded by the Whitebeard Pirates, but as already stated. They weren’t much help. At first they couldn’t even get close to you without Ace trying to kill them, but eventually he grew on them. Then they were helping keep you on board, lest he spirals. 

The relationship you had with Ace could be very draining. That fun, rambunctious side of him that had originally drawn you in was only a part of him. A front that he put on. In reality he was an intensely depressed individual that had become much more comfortable showing that side of himself to you.

In normal circumstances, this would be a heartwarming show of trust. Typically this would be a steady step in the right direction to build a healthy relationship, but nothing about your relationship was healthy. The exposure to his depressive episodes felt suffocating more than anything. While he would be sobbing into your chest and clinging to you for dear life, you would be forced to comfort your captor out of pure guilt from seeing him look so broken. You felt more like an emotional support animal than a human significant other some days.

Going back and forth between hating and pitying him was dizzying. Not to mention the bizarre form of codependent love that had been thrown into the mix. You never knew what direction your emotions towards him would go any given day, just like you never knew what kind of a mood Ace would be in.

It was exhausting. You felt like you needed a vacation to recuperate at the end of every day, but you of course never got one. So you would have to settle for the moment of peace you’ve been granted in this messy cabin.

The door is suddenly kicked open and you internally curse. Your quiet moment is done and over with now. You should have cherished it more.

Strong arms lock around your waist, heave you up, and spin you around. Ace seems to be in a good mood today, which is a plus. “(Y/N), I missed you!”

“It’s only been a couple of hours, you’re acting like it’s been months,” you muttered, more to yourself than him.

“What? A couple of hours is a long time, it felt like months.” He had mercifully stopped spinning and was looking around the room. “Where’d all my stuff go?”

You rolled your eyes, “All I did was stuff your dirty clothes into the hamper. Don’t know why you even have that thing seeing as you never use it.” It had a fine layer of dust that would gather over it in between your sporadic uses when you got fed up enough to clean.

“Not everything was dirty, most of those were still good!”

“It’s not “good” if you have to do like three sniff tests to determine that! Just wash that shit!” You were squirming to get out of his grasp, thoroughly irritated from bickering about you cleaning up his laundry.

Ace laughed and shrugged, “Maybe I’ll do it later.” Yeah right. He walked towards your shared, unmade bed and tossed you onto it before throwing himself on top of you. Oh. He’s feeling cuddly today. Great. Well, as long as he doesn’t start crying it won’t be so bad.

A kiss was placed against your cheek with enough force to squish your face, and then he unceremoniously flopped down, further squishing you into the mattress. Instead of using your chest as a pillow like he usually does, he nestled his face into your neck. His arms snaked underneath you to keep your bodies fully pressed together.

The man was a walking furnace, so you were already beginning to sweat. Such a thing didn’t bother him, but it was uncomfortable for you. Not that your discomfort was enough to deter him, you would be stuck in this position until he’d gotten his fill. This was far from the first time you’ve been subjected to this, so you knew what he wanted. One of your hands plucked his already partially dislodged hat from his head and tossed it aside so you could run your fingers through his messy hair, the other one rubbed slow circles on his back.

Ace hummed in contentment from your ministrations, and his body sagged more than it already had against your own. His hair was tangled, a common occurrence for anyone primarily living at sea. Your fingers worked meticulously to undo all of the knots. You weren’t particularly gentle with it, but he wasn’t flinching from every tug so you can’t imagine it was that harsh either.

For a while, nothing is said. Ace enjoys your company, while you feel obligated to acquiesce his wants and desires.

“I’m so happy to have you here with me, I will never want anyone else. You have more of a hold on me than you’ll ever know.” The words are spoken in a hushed whisper directly into your ear.

There it is again. That pesky, traitorous feeling of affection. The flutter of your heart from being so desperately wanted- needed even. Your impulsive inclination to comfort someone so clearly in need even though it’s absolutely not your job to do so. You wanted to “save” him almost as badly as you wanted to save yourself.

It made you question if he was the only one with serious psychological issues here. Have you always had this savior complex, or was it a recent development brought on by your living situation? 

This wasn’t something you wanted to think about today. You sighed and clutched Ace closer. Maybe it would be for the best if you just turned your brain off for a little while? Thinking too hard on your circumstances has never done you any good.

[pb-dot]

This latest Adventuring Party really drove home my favorite aspect of Brennan's DMing style. He genuinely loves seeing his players succeed, even against odds he considered to be nigh insurmountable.

Let's take the Last Stand as an example. Now, Brennan made no secret out of the Last Stand encounter being very hard, and for people who do not play D&D it may even seem like he overhyped it, but from a mechanics standpoint, the CR, functionally the difficulty rating of this battle royale was sky-high. Yeah, none of the Bad Kids went down, but that is entirely thanks to a combination of excellent strategic play from the Intrepid Heroes and some choice luck.

To mention some of the game changer moves, the Scatter spell really re-defined the battlefield more favorably for the Bad Kids, the disguise self was a value proposition because it split the flying monsters, which was the greatest threat to the proctor by far, in two, functionally halving the threat to the squishy normie, not to mention dealing with the mega-mosquitos in combo with Spirit Guardians. Those little flying bastards would have been such a pain in the ass if Fig didn't bug zapper them to kingdom come. And the bless. Dear god, the Bless saved so many asses in this encounter.

This isn't to say magic was the only thing that defined the battlefield. The single-target damage dealers did some truly astounding numbers and managed their attention and abilities shockingly well. Yeah, Gorgug crit like a madman, but he also tanked like three or four non-barb PCs worth of effective HP damage without going down even once. If he had failed his saves and gotten eaten by the Purple Worm things would have gotten nasty for him, but again, the touch of luck (and bless) saw him through.

So, this is all to say that this was an encounter meant to kick the players' ass. Not an unwinnable one, evidently, but this was supposed to be a considerably worse experience even without getting into the non dice-roll exam questions. And how does Brennan react when the Intrepid Heroes put their game face all the way on, get really smart with their level 1 spell slots, and dismantle the whole thing? He's overjoyed, he's cheering for his strange adventure children, and we're cheering with him because frankly it's rad as hell.

This illustrates one nuance I feel sometimes gets glossed over about the DM-player relationship. A lot of people have talked about how Junior Year is the "Revenge of Brennan" or what have you, and I feel that kind of misses the central appeal of DMing and Brennan's style in D20 in particular. Yes, Mr Mulligan enjoys playing the heel on occasion. It's good fun to play the personification of everything going wrong and the inherent shittiness of the world, but like the wrestler heels, all that wicked charisma is meant to do one thing, and that is build up the faces, or the players in this case.

Now, the ghost of Gary Gygax may come after me for this, but I firmly believe it's not the DMs job to kill the player characters, or even to inconvenience or torment them. A good DM's job is to make it seem like they're going to kill the player characters, as to provide an environment for the players to succeed, a challenge for them to overcome. It's all one big improv exercise (or kink scene if you prefer to view it that way), where the DM derives their (near)absolute authority over the world the PCs inhabit from the shared understanding that they're going to show the players a spectacular, if not on occasion harrowing, time.

This is Brennan's biggest strength as a DM I think. He genuinely wants to make a spectacular time for his friends, and he understands that to do that he must on occasion be the monster they oppose, and on occasion he must be their breathless cheerleader. On occasion, one imagines, he must also be both.

[strangersteddierthings]

No Regrets - Part Two

TW: OC Character Death (dude doesn't even get a name). Steve reflects on killing both demo-creatures and humans with detachment. Mentions of Major Character Deaths but as a reminder, they don't stay dead! (Well, Chrissy and Fred do)

Part One🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six

Maybe he should feel bad about watching Robin grow smaller in the rear-view mirror, her face a mixture of disbelief and anger. Maybe he should feel regret for his actions, for the betrayal Robin probably feels right now.

He doesn't.

Looking at the bigger picture, at the regrets he actually does have in the waking world, this is small potatoes. A non-issue. Robin will forgive him in the end.

War Zone is like a ghost town compared to the first time Steve was here. Though, that should have been expected. The panic hasn't swept through town yet. So far, it's just one dead girl. Fred'll join her sometime this afternoon. Evening? Sometime later today.

Nineteen-year-old Steve would hate himself for not trying to help. For not doing his best to save Fred.

But.

Well, Fred dying will help Dustin, in the long run. Will help Eddie. And that's more important. That's the goal. The dream, if he's allowing himself to be cheeky in his own mind.

Steve's not heartless, or anything like that. Robin, his Robin in the waking world, still calls him a softy and worries his kindness will get him killed on the daily. He always puts the safety of the group above himself. The first to volunteer on supply runs or for scouting or taking watch through the night. He knows he can run on empty for much longer than anyone else he knows.

The end of the world has a way of skewing what kindness and softness are, though. Those first few months were the hardest. Steve wanted to save everyone they came across. Help as many people as possible, but rations run dangerously low that way. Clean water can become contaminated quickly by ignorant people. Not everyone handled the apocalypse with grace.

The first harsh lesson Steve had learned was two months into the end of the world. They'd ventured to Indy to find supplies. Medicines. Try and stock up on things they didn't need yet but wanted around for the just in case of it all. They'd found some survivors, which wasn't surprising in itself. The surprising bit was that these guys had made it on complete luck it seemed. They were loud. Jumpy. Panicky.

When Lucas and Mike, on scout duty, had reported back demogorgon activities nearby, one guy started to panic. Got loud and couldn't bring himself back down. Steve was closest, tried to shush him but he wouldn't be quiet.

"Move," Murray (may he rest in peace) whispered, seeming to have appeared from nowhere, shoving Steve away, nudging him out of the way. Murray stepped behind the guy, one hand covering his nose and mouth, the other arm around his neck. It made the guy panic more, fighting Murray and then Murray just-

Steve remembers he flinched at the noise, turning away to cover his mouth and calm his own panic. The noises stopped though. Steve had shot a horrified look to Hopper, but Hopper wasn't looking at Steve. He was looking beyond, at Murray and what he'd done, nodding his approval.

The demogorgons didn't find them that day.

"You can't help everyone, Steve," Murray said, once they'd started the trek back to Hawkins. "The safety of the group comes first, over just one person."

Lesson heard. Lesson learned. Lesson put to use four months later.

So. Fred must die, for the good of the group. Patrick, too, if Steve can't get to Vecna in time. He should be able to. Vecna will try and take Max first, tomorrow. Patrick the day after. If everything stays the same.

The clerk doesn't even blink at what Steve buys, or the quantity of what he buys, but his eyebrows do go up a little at the total.

Steve hesitates just a bit over the checkbook his parents gave him the first time they'd left him home alone at fourteen. For emergencies only, Steven. It's been sitting in his glove box, unused, since he turned sixteen. He's never wanted to have to explain what he'd used it for. Nothing had ever seemed like enough of an emergency to warrant explaining it to Richard Harrington.

He does find it a little odd that his mind is conjuring up the concept of money. Of all the little things to think about while he sleeps, he really didn't think his subconscious would bring capitalism back.

Steve rips the little check out of the booklet and hands it over. The clerk looks it over before giving a nod and finishing the cash out. Steve takes the receipt when it's offered, shoving it into the checkbook before shoving that into his back pocket.

The parking lot has one other person in it, who Steve is aware of the entire time he's loading the trunk of his car with gallons of lighter fluid, weapons, and padded camouflage. It's only after Steve's slammed the trunk closed and shoved the cart back towards the front of the store that the guy watching him speaks.

"Must be some bonfire you're planning."

Steve rounds his car and opens the door before answering. "It's spring break, man." He slides in, the door falling closed after him. He buckles up, starts the car, and heads home. The house will be empty, he knows.

He works in silence, unloading the car and organizing his haul in the dining room, eyes flicking to the clock. There's still a couple of hours before dark. Before he should go check if Eddie's still in the boathouse, or if the police did go find him.

He sets the timer on the stove for an hour and flops onto his couch and sighs. Just as comfy as he remembers. He can have a nap before making sure Eddie's in jail. Surely his dream will allow him that?

-

"Mmhm," Steve mumbles as his neck protests movement. He's slow to wake. His head feels like white noise. He thinks he was dreaming but he can't quite grasp at what it was... oh. Family Video and War Zone. Reliving a memory. He wonders if Robin is still mad at him for that day, ditching her with Dustin and Max. It'd been for a good reason and- Steve wrinkles his nose as he sits up, head still static-y. Was it for a good reason? He can't remember what else happened after that....

"He rises," Robin whispers next to him, spooking him. She comes into focus as he sits up straight, leaning out of her space to look at her. She gives him a smile, judging by the crinkle around her eyes and her cheeks rounding. The gas mask prevents him seeing her real smile and he misses it. He thinks about his dream, and getting to see all of Robin's face again.

Dreaming is bittersweet.

"I miss anything?" He asks, because it's a safe question.

"Scouts radioed. The way should be clear in another," Robin grabs his wrist and twists so she can see the time on his watch, "another twenty minutes or so."

The mention of the radio makes him think of Dustin, and how much he misses him. And thinking of Dustin makes him think of Eddie. Steve knows it's irrational for him to miss someone he never knew but that doesn't stop the ache. The almost of it all sits heavy in his chest.

"Right," Steve says. "Want to see how many rounds of Rock, Paper, Scissors we can get through in twenty minutes?"

Robin shuffles sideways to be facing him and holds her hands up. "You always lose but okay."

They get about twelve rounds into it before Steve finds himself asking, "Hey Robbie. Do you remember Spring Break?"

Her hands freeze in the air, an aborted motion to make paper to beat Steve's rock. She locks eyes with him for a moment and he can see the worry there. "I- Steve. Is it- did you take a hit? Is it your head? Should I not have let you nap?"

No. No, he doesn't think he got hurt on this run. Well, his shoulder hurts from when he stumbled and slammed into wall during the last loading of the truck, but he hadn't hit his head. He thinks. "I don't know... I hit the wall hard, shoulder hurts, but I didn't hit my head. I don't remember hitting my head."

Robin stands immediately and begins jabbing her fingers around his skull. "Anything tender?"

"Nope. Just a messed up hairdo," Steve swats her hands away.

"Well, you can never be too sure. You are precious cargo. Why did you ask about the start of the apocalypse?"

Steve shrugs. What can he say? That he's forgetting the start of all their horrors? He can't say that, not without coming across like he's either crazy or bragging. Remember the week that ruined our lives and gave us all enough trauma to fill an ocean? Yeah, well, I don't so ha!

He can't be sure but he thinks Robin frowns beneath her mask. "We'll have to have someone look you over when we get back. Steve, if you're losing your memories..."

"I'm not losing memories," Steve lies. Head trauma is serious and he knows he can't take one more hit to the head. He won't be able to continue helping with supply runs or patrols if he is getting worse. If he starts getting migraines, they'll reassign him for sure. Something that doesn't let him leave the safety of their home base at the high school.

"Steve," she warns. He knows it's a warning.

He shakes his head. "I just. I had a dream about Saturday. Very vivid. Just made me think about it, is all."

Robin softens, sinking back down to sit beside him. She finally answers, "yeah. I remember Spring Break."

"I miss everyone," he confesses, because it's true. Because it's safe.

"Me too," Robin says, leaning her mask against his.

They wait in silence until the scouts call the all clear and they can head back home.

They make it back to Hawkins before night falls but just barely. The gates get rolled shut behind them and the unpacking gets started. The whole community has gathered for their return. This is their longest run to date with how far they had to go this time and Steve doesn't blame anyone for needing to see their loved ones as soon as possible.

"Robin!"

Steve turns just in time to watch Vickie launch herself at Robin. Robin must have seen her running, though, because she's already braced for impact and catches Vickie easily, arms grabbing at Vickie's thighs to support her weight as she wraps them around Robin's waist. Vickie places her forehead to Robin's as their excitement switches to tenderness and Steve averts his eyes to give them privacy in this moment.

"Steve, here," Ted Wheeler offers up a box to Steve, who takes it without question. "For the Daycare."

"You got it."

The Daycare is actually a wing of the school that used to be where the language arts classes were held. Daycare doesn't quite sum up what they use the area for, but calling it the Orphanage was too dark. Steve waits through the decontamination process. Once through, he takes the time to pull his mask off and enjoy the feeling of an artificial breeze on his face before heading to the Daycare.

"Please tell me there's something useful in that box," Annie Click says when Steve pushes his way into one of the rooms they use for school. Another room is dedicated to being a daycare, kids too little for learning, another is schooling for kids who would be in middle school, and the last room is lines with beds.

"Sorry, Mrs. Click, but I didn't pack it," Steve says apologetically.

"My problem to sort out then," she stands and Steve can see the determination in her through the weariness. She'd been a bitter old lady as his teacher but the world ending must have shifted her priorities. There's no one better suited to look after the kids than her, here.

Except maybe Joyce, but she's got bigger things to deal with.

He heads for the door when Annie calls out to him, "Since you're here, would you mind checking on the kids for me? Holly's supervising bedtime but she's lenient with her friends."

"Will do."

He heads across the hall and down a door to the sleeping room. The lights are dimmed and peeking in he sees a lot of kids sleeping, or pretending their best to be. Holly is sitting in a rolling chair near the door, one leg bend and pulled up on the seat as she rests her head on it.

Steve clears his throat to get her attention. She must have heard his footsteps because she doesn't spook. Just uses the foot on the ground to spin the chair to face the door. "Oh. Hi Steve."

"All good here?" He whispers.

"Yeah. Everyone's asleep."

"You can probably head home now. Your dad's back."

Holly shrugs one shoulder at him, spinning the chair back away. "Maybe later."

Steve takes the hint and backs away. His chest aches for Holly. All the kids had to grow up fast, given the state of the world, but Holly's hurts him most. He knew her in the Before, and she was there when Karen... Well, she's got a lot of weight on her shoulders at barely eleven years old.

To think. If they'd have been faster on that Spring Break. More diligent, thorough. Holly might have never known about the Upside Down at all.

More regret he can carry, he thinks, as he shoves his mask back on and heads back to the truck. There's more to be unloaded, and always work around to keep him so busy he doesn't have to think of the regrets.

He works so late into the night that once he gets back to his cot and collapses into it, there are no thoughts let in his mind as sleep claims him.

-

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss @music9009 @apomaro-mellow @soaringornithopter @reighnofdreams @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @sirsnacksalot @livelifeliketheresnotomorow @sageclipse @schnukiputz @mbloggotdeletedsothisismybackup @lumoschildextra @juleswashere3 @yet-still-more-banched @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @yearningagain @starlight-archer @andrew-mini-ard @chaosgremlinmunson @aol19 @goodolefashionedloverboi @gutterflower77 @moomkin77

[shadowqueenjude]

Coriolanus kills Dr. Gaul: post-TBOSAS

Coriolanus wasn’t sure why he had named his son Sejanus, really.

Actually, that was a lie. He knew exactly why he had named him that. As a punishment. A reminder of his worst mistake- not just the betrayal, but the lies. He had lost both Sejanus and L-

Do not say her name. Not even in your mind.

Coriolanus clenched and unclenched his fists. After all this time, it still haunted him so. It’s dangerous for an obsessive man to fall in love. She may be alive, or she may be dead, but either way she’d certainly live on in his memories.

In his dreams.

The guilt was unbearable. Much as Ma Plinth annoyed him, she was the closest thing to a mother he had had after his own died. She looked at him like he was her son, and it was like a knife to the gut every time. He had to do something to alleviate it- this pain.

Well, truly, not all the blame could fall on him. He had expected Sejanus to be taken back to the Capitol, maybe his father paid some people off, and that was it. Instead, a few days later, he was standing vigil at his execution. Dr. Gaul, the sadist. He had never forgotten the delightful glee she exuded as Clemensia had been bitten by those snakes. She did not value human life in any capacity; more than being the harbinger of violence, she relished it. Gloried in it. Had been ready to sacrifice his life for the sake of her twisted games.

She had to die. Coriolanus had long desired to end her life, and now, when all others would be preoccupied with the Hunger Games celebrations, would be the perfect time to carry out his plan.

He almost laughed at the position he found himself in. While several sweet maids prepared him for the ball tonight, his mind was plotting murder. He wondered how little they knew about the man they served; he wondered how little they knew about human nature itself.

He admired himself in the mirror. He wore a cobalt trenchcoat over a pale gold button-up and pants. His hair was beginning to curl at the ends again, and Coriolanus made a note to get them fixed later. Those curls were a sign of his youth; they brought back memories he’d rather not revisit anymore than he had to. Torturous sad and wet dreams in the night were bad enough.

He smoothed down a small crease on his shirt and gave a practiced smile. “You’ve outdone yourself ladies,” he said smoothly, and all three ladies preened. He didn’t mention their comical feathers and outlandish makeup that made them look like clowns. Best to keep those close to you on your side.

The first party hosted for the victors. All part of the show; it disgusted him really, that the people were so immune to it. He would never be immune to the deaths of others. He counted every life that had been lost in that arena, and though he deemed it a necessary evil to prevent more deaths, he’d begun counting their lost lives as part of his kill count.

Hundreds of deaths had come at his hands. And there would be hundreds more.

Innocent children. But at least he would be doing some good. At least he would be freeing Panem from Dr. Gaul’s brand of torment. What a terrible waste this ceremony was. Coriolanus couldn’t stop it, couldn’t repress that desperate part of him that still lived in the post-war times when there was nothing to eat but cabbage stew. To see the way the Capitol citizens flaunted their wealth…he wished to give them all a good punch straight to the teeth.

Coriolanus gave his ridiculous speech, being sure to use the words “honor” and “celebration” and “delight” and “victory” a thousand times to get it to sink in. He met the victor, a big burly male who reminded him of Reaper, which reminded him of the tenth hunger games, which reminded him of its victor-

For fuck’s sake. Coriolanus flexed his hands again. Just a little while longer he had to stay here before he could retreat to his chambers. Just another hour or so of entertaining these sycophantic fools who saw him as their social climbing ladder or worse, a pretty object to lay with. He drank one glass of wine, willing his face to go expressionless as women pawed at him, unbuttoning his shirt. He said calmly, “I’m not interested, ladies. I’m still mourning my wife, I’m afraid.” Lies. He had murdered his wife in cold blood four years ago. He had despised that bitch. The only good thing she had given him was his lovely son, who was currently being looked after by nannies. He didn’t want to overwhelm him with huge crowds yet. The woman murmured in disappointment, but they were only replaced by more. He hated how raunchy these parties got, hated that they expected him to join in the festivities. No, he would never touch them. There was only one person he’d willingly partake in such actions with, and she had scattered to the trees. Unable to bear it, Coriolanus left the party a lot earlier than he’d intended. He walked away from the main hall, seeking the men’s bathroom. He heaved into the sink, the memories flooding him. Lucy Gray’s smile, Lucy Gray’s laugh, Lucy Gray playing the guitar, Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray Lucy Gray-

“Coryo,” a soft voice called. Coryo whipped his head around wildly. He could’ve sworn he heard Lucy Gray’s voice. But…no. He must have been going crazy.

He walked back to his room, feeling like there was a heavy weight on his body. The tears fell down his face, and Coryo didn’t bother to stop them. Most days he could get by without thinking of her, but on the days that it hit hard, he became absolutely miserable, and he could not focus for the rest of the day. He had to do something. Nothing like bloody murder to get your lost love out of your mind.

This one would be for her. His Lucy Gray, who Dr. Gaul had taken from him.

Were it not for Dr. Gaul, Sejanus wouldn’t be dead. If he hadn’t died, Coryo wouldn’t have lied to Lucy Gray. If Coryo hadn’t lied to Lucy Gray, she wouldn’t have run into the forest.

Flex. Unflex. Coryo took a deep breath, trying not to think of her earthy smell and warm smile, but he could sense it so clearly in his mind it was like she was there.

What method would he use to kill Dr. Gaul? How poetic would it be if he killed her with her own mutts? But he was sure she had gone to great lengths to ensure that they wouldn’t harm her.

But how sure could she be, really? They were animals, right? Once you took them out of their controlled setting, all bets were off. So, Coriolanus armed himself with his old Peacekeeper rifle. He sometimes kept it on him, for nostalgic purposes. Part of him believed nostalgia was only fit for a fool, but it didn’t hurt that the gun still worked.

He walked down to the labs located in the basement of this very building. Found Dr. Gaul tinkering with something, even this late at night. Twisted psychopath. “Ah, Coriolanus! Don’t you have a lovely party to be at?”

Coriolanus gestured down at himself, his hair mussed up, the top of his chest peaking out, the belt of his pants loosened. “Doesn’t it appear as if I have partied enough?”

Dr. Gaul let out a chuckle. “All those ladies jumping on you as soon as they get a chance, You must power through, and remember all this is part of the…” Coryo smirked. “Dance. All part of the dance.” A dance that would end tonight. Dr. Gaul clapped her hands delightedly. “Come, look at these lovely new mutts I am working with.”

Coriolanus looked over at them, pretending to be interested. In reality, they looked quite foul, with their mottled green skin and a forked tongue resembling that of a snake’s, only much longer. “Are those…chameleons?” Coriolanus asked with forced calm. In reality, the mere thought of these animals made him sick. This was the Capitol; such wild creatures shouldn’t exist in a civilized place.

“Partially,” Dr. Gaul said. That manic smile was on her face again. “Part chameleon, part snake, part my artwork. I call them chamelonakes.” Dumb name, Coriolanus internally scoffed. “They are venomous, can camouflage themselves, and their leaping capacity is much improved. They trust me, of course, but all others, they are trained to kill.” Coriolanus swallowed. “How do you? You know. Get them to trust you.” Dr. Gaul looked at him incredulously. “Why, the same way you’d get any human to trust you. By getting to know them.”

Hmph. Well, he didn’t have time for that. What if he went for a different strategy? He always kept a vial of poison on him ever since he’d killed Livia Cardew. You never knew when you would need to poison someone. While Dr. Gaul was busy cooing over some creatures, Coriolanus slipped poison into the food labeled for them. “Really? It’s that simple? They look very…dangerous.” Dr. Gaul simply laughed. “I thought you would’ve learned by now, Coriolanus, that animals are easily baited by food and basic necessities. Allow me to demonstrate.” She grabbed the food and stuck her hand into the cage with her bare hands. Coriolanus wondered if the creatures would even sense the poison, or if the poison he had used would even be poisonous to them.

He got his answer moments later as no less than three chamelonakes crunched down onto Dr. Gaul’s arm. Coriolanus wasn’t a vicious person, but he had to admit, some savage part of him reveled in Dr. Gaul’s scream, even as he backed several paces away.

“How does it feel?” Coriolanus asked. “To be bit by a venomous snake.” Dr. Gaul blinked. “What did you do?”

Coriolanus shrugged. “Nothing anyone will ever figure out. Just like they never figured out what happened to Clemensia.” He sneered at her. “You thought you were untouchable, indestructible, did you? So unbelievably arrogant; that was your demise.” The chamelonakes continued to crowd around the scientist, inspecting her suspiciously.

“I made you,” Dr. Gaul hissed. “Without me, you would be nothing.”

Coriolanus laughed mirthlessly. “No, you almost got me killed multiple times. You lost me my best friend and my girlfriend. You’re out of control; you relish violence, you sadistic witch. What Panem needs is control, not war. But you would be perfectly happy with another war, wouldn’t you, Dr. Gaul? More bloodshed for you, more dummies to experiment with. No longer. I always had it in me to be President; don’t fancy yourself some great guardian, Dr. Gaul. I will ensure your name is erased from history.”

“Without me, you’d still be rotting in District 12,” she spat.

Coriolanus only smiled. “You’re just angry because I’m better than you are now. Goodbye, heathen. No one will miss you. I’ve won.”

And just as he did after Livia had died before him, he said quietly, “Snow lands on top. Isn’t that how the saying goes?”

Dr. Gaul’s eyes widened before the light left them.

Coriolanus left her there. Some guards would find her in a few minutes, dead. They’d assume her mutts had killed her at last, and they’d be correct. No one would ever realize the role he had played in making it happen.

Snow lands on top.

[so-long-soldier-writes]

I have no irl friends or mutuals who are Kai Stans so I figured I’d send you an ask about it because you’re my fave Kai account. I just rewatched that episode after the merge where Kai tried to kill Liv with that candle and couldn’t bring himself to do it and I have never felt so emotionally conflicted in my life. Like on one hand, bad Kai don’t murder people. But on the other hand, he looked so genuinely upset to be wrestling with his conflicting emotions and I just wanted to hug him

Okay, first of all, I'm honored to be your fave. I feel like I say this a lot, but I'm absolutely melting!🩷Hearing that people enjoy the things I write always makes me smile, and I think about those kinds of comments on the daily. Second, I rarely answer asks this quickly; I usually write out a response over a few days and edit it over a few more, but this got me so freaking excited because I JUST watched that episode and had the same feelies you're describing. Third, I will gladly be a mutual with you, whether you want to stay on anon or not! (I am so shy and weird irl, but I love talking to people on here, especially fellow Kai stans!!) (I don't talk to anyone irl about Kai, not even my mom who's watching tvd, bc I just KNOW she's gonna be like... you like this guy? 🤨 and i'll be awkwardly trying to defend him like he's not the love of my life. also, i love my mom and we're super close, but every time she watches an episode, she needs to remind me how much she loves matt donovan 😵‍💫)

But back to the point, yes, I literally watched that same episode / scene last night! And ugh, it gives me so many different feelings, too.

We really got to see the internal struggle he was having in that moment. Earlier, he had mentioned he was writing to Jo, and that he was crying, but in this scene, we actually got to see the emotions he may have been feeling while writing it. He was already exhausted and overwhelmed from trying to astral project into 1994 to help Bonnie, which is another huge display of emotion, and now he's facing his innate need to protect himself verses a whole new slew of feelings he doesn't understand.

On top of that, I don't think he actually wanted any of his siblings dead. I think he was just so void of emotion from all his trauma and abuse that he came to believe the only way to survive was if they were to die. He is, and always will be a sociopath; there's no way to unwire his brain, but Luke's emotions gave him all these feelings he hasn't felt in decades. Part of not wanting to kill Liv was definitely Luke preventing him, but I think part of it, too, was his own feelings.

Just thinking about it… sociopathy develops around the ages of 14-16; Kai is technically 40 years old. He was completely isolated for so long, and then thrust into this loud, complicated, modern world that he doesn't understand. He still has to fight to survive; his family still hates him 18 years later. When he finally accomplishes his "task" - to survive, his family hates him even more, and, since survival equals the merge, he now has feelings to battle on top of all these other new struggles.

Then in that scene, he's trying to make up for the hurt he put his sister (Jo) through, and then Bonnie. He offers empathy to Jeremy, helping him reach Bonnie even after Liv stabs him. He's a bit puzzled on what he should feel for Liv. At the moment, she's just in his way of accomplishing these other "tasks," but Luke won't let him hurt her, and he's fighting with himself about it. And that's a lot. Luke is overwhelming him; his own emotions are overwhelming him.

He needs a hug. And a nap. Both. Personally, I wanted to jump through the screen and give him a hug, then let him fall asleep while I held him and promised to keep him safe.

He's just begging for some kind of security throughout the season. He looks to Bonnie and Damon for it, hoping the three of them can escape the prison world together; hoping he can trust them; that they won't leave him there any longer. He looks for it by merging, knowing if he wins, he secures his spot in the coven; he can't be killed. He tries to make amends with Damon, helping him find his mom, and Bonnie, trying to apologize. Even Jo; he feels sick and he goes to his sister, who's a doctor, because she knows her trade; she can help him; provide him with some clue of what's going on, because he doesn't understand. He doesn't want to be left behind on his own again. He wants someone to trust him, and trust that he's trying to be better. But that's exactly what happens when he's trapped in 1903, and then, of course, he snaps again, because he realizes no one is going to change their minds about him, and no one is going to offer the basic human needs he so desperately has wanted for decades.

If someone just gave him a freaking hug and a second chance, things would've went a lot differently for everyone involved.

It's their own fault, honestly, that the season ended the way it did, (speaking, of course, as if the writers were not writing, and that the characters chose the course of the story). Kai, I believe, is extremely intelligent, and knew exactly how to hurt every single person who directly or indirectly hurt him. He found a little bit of security in Lily Salvatore - all he really wanted - and with that little boost of confidence from the wrong person, was able to deliver absolute chaos and destruction where he deemed necessary.

But now, on a completely unrelated note, I also have three random things to say about this scene. Given the chance to talk about it, I feel I must. One, I find it absolutely hilarious how Kai and Liv throw silverware at each other almost every time they fight. The camera pans to a fork or a knife, and suddenly, it's in the other's neck. Makes me wonder how family dinners went in that household. 😅 Two, when he was pouring alcohol on her, all I could think was damn, he's just gonna set that whole mansion on fire and everyone in it. That huge, expensive, historic, mansion, just to burn one girl. Three, I also couldn't stop looking at that sadistic smile. How happy he seemed to get over the "prospect of getting to watch someone burn to death," right before he couldn't bring himself to do it. His dark eyes do something to me. And the fact that he was already covered in his own sweat and tears from, again, over-exhaustion, just had me watching with absolute heart eyes. Maybe I should go to therapy.

But yes, I feel the conflicting emotions. I really wanted him to not kill her, because I didn't want him to prove them all right. I really wanted him to be redeemed because he deserved it so much. But at the same time….. he just looked so hot doing it.

[horizon-verizon]

Alicent watches HER 10 YEARS-OLD GRANDSON GET BEHEADED and observes her daughter sinks into madness, but unlike Rhaenyra, she defied the freezed broken mother trope by being a steady and ACTIVE political presence throughout the Dance, even after ONLY Aegon II remained to her.

For all intents and purposes, she acted as a regent in her sons’s absence. She was the main political authority in King’s Landing prior to Aegon II’s return from Dragonstone. It was Alicent who negotiated the reclaiming of the Red Keep during the Moon of Madness. It was her who proclaimed a curfew, had the City Watch reformed and had the three pretender kings arrested. It was her who betrothed Aegon II to Cassandra Baratheon and accepted Corlys Velaryon’s fealty on Aegon’s behalf. It was her machinations, along with Larys Strong, that prevented Alyn Velaryon from attacking Aegon II on Dragonstone and succeeded in bringing him back to King’s Landing. Even after Aegon’s return, Alicent remained a power player in his court and a constant presence in his councils.

Post maybe in response to this one (this has become ongoing).

May I introduce you to this post I made way back about Alicent's politicking and plotting?

1st CORRECTION (from this ask): There is no strong evidence to suggest Alicent was taken out of the room before Blood and Cheese killed Jaehaerys. So she watched her grandchild die.

Not deleting this post bc she could have not participated and enabled the war by not usurping Rhaenyra. And no, she nor her kids were in any material danger either from the other lords nor from Daemon (the first bc 1. they got dragons, the Conquerors bodied the Westerosi with only three AND BEING UNITED!! 2. there were no signs of any rebellion or plans against Rhaenyra or Alicents kids for the time Rhaenyra was meant to ascend 3. we see how many people/houses supporting Rhaenyra more than Aegon, so... // Why not Daemon? As we see w/Blood and Cheese and how he actually huts ignores Alicent and her kids in 111, he doesn't b"other" you if you don't "bother" him or those close to him.) Once again, the greens are the ones who began this whole ordeal, not the blacks. Even as the Targs' past rulers (and some of those around them like Aenys & Jaehaerys) and the 1000s-years-existing patriarchal Andal structure set up anti-female rulers paradigm.

A)

Alicent also lost her composure several times over her sons:

her negotiations with Rhaenyra over dividing the kingdom (Bastard bloodshed in war), which risked Rhaenyra's further enmity towards her...who insults the other person's dead children when they are trying to negotiate with them?! (On the "purely" pragmatic, practical side, this was dumb as hell, and I mention it in the link above)--Those kids that she, Alicent herself whose deaths Alocent is partly responsible for?! Again, when she said that, she mainly wanted to spite Rhaenyra, but it was a risk!

her wanting to mutilate Aegon (I'm going to repeat this fact several times, along with quotes later) which brings Corlys and Larys against her, and Aegon

her wanting to have Aegon's last trueborn heir, Jaehaera, to kill Aegon III for the sake of Alice's rage over her sons' deaths and losing the war, to spite Rhaenyra one last time.

("Rhaenyra Triumphant")

("The Hooded Hand")

"The murder of the last of her sons had turned Alicent’s heart into a stone. None of the regents wished to see her put to death, some from compassion, others for fear that such an execution might rekindle the flames of war. Yet she could not be allowed to take part in the life of the court as before."

("The Hooded Hand")

So, anon, you're just a liar or a very bad reader due to misogyny blinding you.

B)

Since we are supposedly commenting on Alicent's leadership or political strategizing skills, I'll say that yes, Alicent has that particular strength over Rhaenyra. Her actions during the green council helped the greens get one over Rhaenyra, and she did do those things she listed. It's unfortunate that:

her Andal-Faith traditionalism, its subsequent misogyny, and her internalized and weaponized misogyny against a woman for her own ambition made her unpalatable for me, a prospective fan, from almost the start

that strength comes with the other side-of-the-coin: straight-up blindness to her immortality as well as double standard-ness to actions (kinda like you right now) that leads her to her own horrible end of half going mad with denial and regret...which unfortunately for you, I just find less impressive than a woman getting eaten by her enemies' dragon, sue me.

Also, I don't know, acting as if a woman is inherently better as a person than another woman for NOT breaking down about her kids' death screams a lack of empathy for women and mothers bc you think all women who happen to be in positions of power should pick themselves up by their bootstraps, push away their grief, and continue fighting the good fight. Also, it shows nearsightedness to how family and personal life and one's values can color "public" politics. The two can't really be separated in terms of influence and effect.

Not only did you neglect how Alicent still displays what you complain of (I describe and give a quote a little later here), there doesn't seem to be any room for you to consider how such a thing might color the person's later decisions, as Alicent herself wanted to mutilate Aegon III (she is the one who suggested it) to protect herself and her son from Rhaneyra's supporter. She also did not want to comply with Corlys' suggestions to parley with said rebels specifically because she hated and blamed Rhaenyra for her losses (before Aegon's death) and present danger....meanwhile, who usurped who and used misogyny to do it? ("The Short, Sad Reign of Aegon II"):

Once more, she brought about her own end as well, towards her end as well as broadly/in general. Because of that internalized misogyny. We can't pretend that thus was something that guided Alicent into making some critical mistakes and going after Rhaenyra at all.

Again, blinded by your own misogyny.

C)

Take Jaehaerys for a non-Dance example and comparison. His relationship with his kids and his wife sour into two of those daughters' deaths (Daella & Viserra), and he's lucky that out of Daella he got Rhaenyra/the continuance of the house even after Rhaenyra is dead. How he decided:

to sideline and keep his daughters/niece/older sister out of the succession or have some sort of power derived from their own claims

refused to really treat them/pay attention to them

give them autonomy and let them learn politics as Aemon and Baelon probably did

He intentionally wanted to keep the succession male-centered. that was his political move, his suppression of his female family members for his own political winning. They are not distinct, he could not have done one without the other. And it comes to Princess Rhaenys getting passed over in the Council of 101, where he also decided that making the succession built for everyone to comment and decide on (letting the subject decide on the matter of succession more than a king....) was better than continuing to consolidate Targ power....after all, he did before to do the very same, he undoes it all with this....because he thinks power, to stay, needs men-centering....

Do you see what I mean by intelligent, cunning, strategic people still being able to be as stupid as fuck, that stupidity or lack of awareness made up of their perception of self and others, their own abilities, etc.? Alicent is still the one to risk her kids' lives in the endeavor to bring herself, them, and her maiden house prestige and more power.

She also uses Andal succession customs (there are no laws) to push herself forward, but in doing so, she usurped a throne from a woman who had way more followers and dragons...yeah, that was going to go well for her sons. (I already mention this in the link above)

She'd have to ignore the previous king's word (law-breaking, going against tradition, oh how smart and sticking to one's values she is, huh?). Which, yes, IS law, that's how even feudal monarchies work AND that is the whole point of a king/monarch's privilege/power in deciding who their successor is....as Jaehaerys passed over Daenerys for Aemon, Aenys passed Rhaena for Aegon. The value of a king's word is reflected in how only the king/monarch can make bastards, even not their own, legitimate. No one else has this right.

She and you are blinded by misogyny.

D)

Now if you, anon decide you prefer Alicent bc she displayed political acumen, that's fine. We all can be fans or admire different people, and you don't even have to stan anyone while liking a few characters for qualities you admire. But let's not pretend that:

the themes of this story and Fire and Blood and ASoIaF are just about political acumen and how well you can play politics, you let GoT rot your brain otherwise -- remember, love vs duty is rather a more salient topic in ASoIaF

because you display political acumen, you are going to be a better sort of leader than another who displays less. We also need character...she still plunged the country into a war and she also didn't care about any smallfolk so her actions carried with them a careless aristocratic cruelty towards their own suffering. (a rumor that she laughed and mocked the rape and murder of children at Tumbleton...with her disregard for Rhaenyra's "bastard" sons and her willingness to mutilate Aegon III, yes I can very much believe this).

she was perfect or an inherently better person or acted better than Rhaenyra she uses that intelligence against herself in the end by how she, like Jaehaerys, died in painful regret and denial. Hating her the color she herself chose to symbolize her grand endeavor and ambitions/faction and yet also wanting her daughter to murder the boy of the woman she chose to usurp. Go back to section A.

Conclusion

It's funny how you speak about how Rhaenyra brought all that happened to her herself (which is half right and half wrong)...yet neglect or don't know that Alicent is more responsible for her own end and losses. Those final moments with her, Corlys, Larys, and Aegon.

Alicent, like Rhaenyra, is an aristocratic woman looking for power for herself. Unfortunately, she also has some kind of lack of self-awareness of her actions and cherry-picking values that taint her judgment. And she, like Rhaenyra, was made to use the harm or death of a child, resulting in the loss of a capable person on their team. There is a thematic element of "madness" and "evil queen" for both women that get subverted. Alicent dying aggrieved and lost in hatred, Rhaenyra through her paranoia.

But Rhaenyra? Alicent and the greens had pushed her into a place where she lost most things all for the sake of ambition. Who pushed Alicent? Other than patriarchy (which all women must oppose and resist to some degree and some did, including Rhaenyra herself), what did Alicent really have to complain about? Rhaenyra explicitly states that she'd keep her kids alive if Aegon surrendered before any fighting started and Lucerys died. What exactly did Rhaenyra do to her? Meanwhile, I could list several things of the reverse before the usurpation! And the pattern of those things stems from Alicent's belief that she should use her son's patriarchal privilege to become the highest-ranking woman as well as make the Faith/Oldtown even more influential and prestigious than it already was.

Check out this post of an ask that summarizes a little better my points.

[pandasmagorica]

First watch review: 4 Minutes

After a bunch of jumbled reaction posts that I can't string together into a sensible sequence - but I will link to them below - I'm ready to give my reactions and review of the 4 Minutes series.

First, the content warnings: violence (lots), murders (several), explicit sex scenes (several), animal killing (once), smoking (a lot), suicide (once).

Second, on the plus side, the product placements are there but fairly low key. ** cough Vice Versa cough **

tl;dr I loved it. It didn't make my top shows list but it's going on my A Cut Above list. It's not perfect, but what show is? It's challenging. It's wild. It's mostly serious with occasional brief moments of comic relief. It's not for everyone, but if you like a good puzzle and are okay with risking not solving it, and the content warnings don't trigger you, go for it.

The sex scenes are good - they had an intimacy director, a best practice.

Okay, with that out of the way, let's get into the review. Spoilers necessarily follow. This review may be as jumbled as the show was. Reader discretion is advised.

In brief, here's a synopsis of the show: Great and Tyme, through bad decisions and surrounded by bad people, find themselves trying to live their best lives in their dying fantasies.

I think this is the first avant-garde QL I've ever seen. I'm seeing complaints about how sketched out Great and Tyme's (the mains) relationship was and how it doesn't justify what they see in their 4 minutes, or what happens between them after they come back from near-dead. I think it fits in very well with the style of the genre.

And certainly we've seen dozens of QLs where the mains or sides fall in love with just a glance. Objecting to Great and Tyme's easy falling in together is like objecting to it being a QL.

Someone mentioned the series is like a jigsaw puzzle. Yeah, like a jigsaw puzzle with 10 percent of the pieces missing. Plus 5 percent pieces added that don't quite fit but someone created because they thought it would make the puzzle better. And I was trying to solve it anyway. And loving it.

The structure, as with many shows, is semi-linear. There's a linear through line with many flashback reveals and a few flash forward reveals. Pretty much the flash forwards occur in the cold opens/precredits of the first several episodes.

But this series has three main through lines:

Episodes 1-5: What Great sees in the 4 minutes of consciousness he has when he flatlines in the hospital. This is relatively linear.

Episodes 1-8: What really happens. This is largely linear with multiple non-linear flashbacks and forwards.

Episodes 7-8: What Tyme sees in the 4 minutes of consciousness he has when he is shot. Also relatively linear.

A lot of people ID'd 1-5 as being Great's 4 minutes timeline. Where I was resistant to that was the inclusion of scenes that Great would not have been privy to. As it turns out, it was likely that many of those scenes were what really happened. But some of those scenes were clearly triggered by Great's timeline, so it prevented me from accepting that it was purely Great's timeline.

So it appears that either Dr. Sammon or the director decided that Great would see things in his 4 minute vision which Great was not directly part of. I think it's an odd choice, and it was a misdirection for me, but at least they were consistent about it. I can accept it as an artistic choice. I think it supports my read of this series as falling into the avant-garde.

There is some cosmic or quantum connection: Great flatlining and 4 minuting as the exact same time as Tyme passing out from the gunshot and 4 minuting. Tyme in his 4 minuting yelling out to Great in his 4 minuting. So this is not at all intended to be a realistic series.

But the series gave us information spoonful by spoonful and trusted us to turn the stew into a meal. And I think they largely did so. Sure there are gaps and plot holes, but it's solid entertainment.

It's challenging and fully engaging. Blink and you'll miss important clues. I certainly did. If you want to watch a series that makes you think, this will fit the bill.

Part of the fun once you realize there are multiple timelines is comparing them to one another. For example, in the real timeline, Tyme takes Great out for authentic Thai street food, and Great specifies all these things he can't eat, such as spicy food, leading to some Tyme eye-rolling. But in Tyme's 4 minute timeline, he tells Great to avoid spicy food. I laughed out loud at that last line.

Yes, with all the violence and tragedy, there is the occasional comic relief. Not a lot, but it's there.

I will probably have more to say about this series as it sinks into my consciousness. I'm pretty sure I want to rewatch this soon - I usually wait at least a year to rewatch shows but this one had so much detail that I need to rewatch to catch things others caught but I missed the first time around.

Links to substantial posts I've made during the series, from most recent to oldest:

4 Minutes last minute episode 8 clowns

4 Minutes pre-ep 8 (Mon 9 Sept) musing on sad endings

Even more pre-ep-8 thoughts (Sun Sept 8)

Told you aka Pre-ep 8 thoughts (Sat Sept 7)

Pre-episode 8 thoughts (Fri Sept 6)

What Manee did/What Great didn't do

Link to a suppressed post

4 Minutes: The woman in the tunnel, episode 1 vs. episode 6

4 Minutes happy ending clowns

First Watch: 4 Minutes episode 6

Ongoing reactions to 4 Minutes

First watch: 4 Minutes episodes 2-5

Untitled post

Damn, I posted a lot more than I thought I did.

[forthedancingandthethriving]

"Was that ASH??"

Tulip laughs softly. "Sh! But yeah, it was."

Irene looks at her, shocked. "I didn't-?! I only recognized him because of the Avatar stuff!"

The older teen snickers as they walk on the sidewalk, in the town up north, where 'Ashley' was doing her modeling work. "He's got a modeling gig because of a bet. I'll tell you about it when we get back to the manor."

Tulip had merely come to pick up some parts, but coincidentally, Irene had asked to hang out, and she just couldn't say no.

"Oh, hey!" Tulip smiles and points at a nearby shop. "It's a smoothie shop. Man, I haven't been to one of those in ages." She looks at Irene with a hum. "Wanna go get a smoothie?"

Irene nods despite her deeprooted confusion on what a smoothie was. She knew what it was after becoming an Avatar (there were a lot of memes regarding people getting pranked with smoothies in her world), but she had never actually seen one.

The two cross the street and head into the smoothie shop, which was a lot larger on the inside than on the outside. It was bustling with life, and the two slip into line.

"Which one are you going to get?" Tulip hums, tilting her head.

"Uhm.." Irene bites her bottom lip, glancing at the board. ".. cherry..?"

The older Avatar glances down at her briefly before nodding with a hum. "I'll probably get strawberry then."

The blonde nods as well, glancing down. She glances back up towards the front of the line soon after, watching a man and a his hooded parent move after grabbing their smoothies.

Soon, the two get their smoothies and leave to go walk. Irene gently nudges the straw back and forth, even if it doesn't move much.

Tulip smiles gently. "You've never seen a smoothie before, huh?"

The blonde jolts. "Huh?! N-No, I have!" She quickly drinks from it.. only for it to go down too quickly and for her to start coughing. After a few forceful pats on the back from the brunette, she coughs up the smoothie.

Finding a nearby bench, the two sit down on it.

Irene slumps. "Was it that obvious?"

"It's only obvious because I was in your position before I became Avatar." Tulip shrugs, sipping from her smoothie. "You would not believe the amount of foods I got introduced to after I left."

"Were your parents socialites too?" The younger teen looks up at the older teen.

"Oh, they were high up there." The brunette smiles wistfully. "They were practically friends with the Red Minister. They wanted me to take over the company, then get into politics." She exhales. "Man, the amount of lessons.."

The blonde glances down. "It was kinda the same.. my parents were going off of the success of my grandparents in the Gaia War.."

Tulip's smile turns gentle. "But you ran?"

"But I ran."

"Good!"

Irene blinks. "..huh?"

"It means you took control of your life." Tulip glances down at her. "Trust me, it may not feel like it, but you did. It was your decision. You made it."

Irene nods softly, glancing down. Then.. "who did you hear that from?"

"Cynthia, actually." Tulip laughs softly. "It was a bit after the whole dinner disaster with my parents. I guess Ash talked about it to her, and the next time I saw her, we talked and.. well.. she's sort of an easy person to talk to, really." She tilts her head a bit. "She told me what I just said. Running away was my first true choice, I should be proud of it, and all the choices I've made since."

She smiles at Irene. "Sooooo.. I'm saying it to you!" She giggles. "Be proud of your choices, Irene. They're yours." She pauses. "Well, don't be proud of them if they're bad- oh, you know what I mean!"

The two laugh softly, and sit in comfortable silence.

Then..

"Okay, it's killing me. Did Ash actually punch your brother? Because Sora mentioned it last meet-up and I need to know."

"Three separate times." Tulip remarks, sipping her drink.

"Three?! How?!" Irene balks.

"Ash moves scarily fast whenever he's angry."

"Man.." the blonde blinks. "You guys all really care for each other.."

"And we care about you too!" Tulip laughs softly, ruffling her hair. "I know you don't feel like you fit in, but trust me, we all care about you just as much as we care about each other."

As the two continue the talk, they're watches by two sets of eyes.

The assistant turns to look at the hooded woman. "Should we approach her now, Ms. Tyron?"

"No, no." She shakes her head. "We merely came for smoothies, Chester. We didn't come to harass her."

"Of course." Chester nods.

The woman and her assistant walk off in the opposite direction, with the woman humming happily.

"I didn't know you liked strawberry, Ms. Tyron." Chester remarks, carefully swirling his banana smoothie.

Aite smiles under her hood. "Strawberry was always my favorite flavor as a child."

[cienie-isengardu]

The Funeral Rites of the Clone Troopers - What happens to the body of dead clone, part II

<The psychological and spiritual preparations for death pre-war>☾❖☽  <What happens to the body of dead clone trooper [part 1] [part2] ☾❖☽ <Conclusion>

NOTE: Please keep in mind that the following text may include disturbing to some readers source material. Especially quotes about how triage points works with selection of which wounded have a chance to survive and who doesn’t and the general medical care (or lack of therefor) provided by Republic is a sensitive topic. Everything comes from published sources so I count it as “canon typical violence” but I also understand that some people may find the subject of this part uncomfortable and if so, I advise to skip reading quotes (marked in orange color)  

What happens to the body of a dead clone? PART II 

The previously presented sources focused mainly on troopers killed directly in widely understood action, when the survivors had time and possibility to perform funeral rites. However clones didn’t die only on battlefronts or during quick missions. Some were injured and died at one of medical triage points, Republic Mobile Surgical Units (for short RMSUs or "Rimsoos“), medical ships and Medcentres or died on the way to one of those places.

TRIAGE POINTS were a very important part of the Republic medical procedures. Here the wounded were segregated according to the person’s type of injuries and chance of survival by medical staff. Sadly, getting wounded men to established triage area didn’t guarantee survival, as was mentioned in:

[NOVEL] MedStar: Battle Surgeons by Michael Reaves & Steve Perry

This run was a bad one. There were four full lifters, which meant sixteen wounded troopers. Three had died en route, and one was too far gone to attempt resuscitation - one of the nurses administered euthanasia while Jos, Zan, Barriss, and three other surgeons scrubbed up.

    One of the clones was covered with third-degree burns; they had to cut his armor free. He had literally been cooked by a flame projector. Fortunately, one of the three working bacta tanks they had was empty, and the trooper was quickly immersed in a nutrient bath.

    The condition of the remaining eleven ranged from critical to guarded, and were triaged accordingly. [Chapter 6]

or 

The multiple-repulsor drone of incoming medlifters filtered into Barriss's sleep, and the siren that sounded almost immediately afterward meant that everybody within earshot needed to get to the OT. Now.

    She dressed hurriedly and headed for the triage area. It was only twenty meters from her cubicle, but the humidity was so high today, she felt that she was wading through a pool of heated fleek oil.

    When she got to the building, she stopped, momentarily unable to believe her eyes. Thirty-five or forty wounded troopers lay on stretchers, on gurneys, on the floor itself, being tended by doctors, nurses, droids, techs - anybody, in short, who could help. Most of the troops were bloody, and many were burned, with weeping red blisters and scorched black patches. Some were missing arms and legs.

    Some were all of those things, and more.

    Still more injured were incoming. She could barely hear the whine of the lifters' repulsor fields over the cries and groans of the wounded. Barriss swallowed, nauseated. Even doctors could be overwhelmed by too much gore. Nothing she had ever seen in her wartime experience so far had been anything close to this.

    Tolk was calling triage, and it was short and to the point. Barriss watched her for a moment. To anybody outside the medical field and the battlefield, triage would seem remarkably cruel, but she knew it was the most efficient way to save the most patients.

    "This one won't make it," Tolk said, rising from the side of a sergeant whose legs had been blown off above the knees. His skin was chalk white, and from the red, ragged stumps the last of his life's blood was dripping slowly. Following behind Tolk was a droid, which attached a pulse-sticker to the dying clone's shoulder. A large, red x glowed rhythmically.

    Tolk moved quickly to the next patient, examined him briefly. "Shrapnel wounds to the belly and groin. Surgery, category three."

    The droid put a sticker on the man's shoulder. The number 3 throbbed on it.

    Barriss bent to examine the trooper closest to her - a lieutenant. He was awake and alert; his only injury seemed to be that his left arm was gone, blown off in a ragged stump just above the elbow. A constrictor around the stump had stopped the bleeding. His gaze met hers.

    "I'm good," he said through clenched teeth. "Take care of my men."

    "He can wait," Barriss said to Tolk. "Five."

    Tolk nodded at the droid, who affixed a number 5 pulse-sticker to the man's good shoulder.

When there were fewer doctors than patients, one had to rank the injured as to survivability and the time necessary to keep them alive. Rimsoo category numbers ran from 1 through 6; category X was reserved for injuries that appeared mortal or very time-consuming to treat. The rating system was more complex than it appeared. The injury, survival chances, and need for immediate treatment all had to be taken into account. A severed artery might bleed out in a minute and all it would take to save the patient would be a simple staple or suture tie, so it would be best to treat him first, whereas a man with his leg blown off but heat-cauterized from a blaster bolt could be left until more life-threatening injuries had been dealt with. Making these decisions, the Padawan knew, was often as much intuition as science.

    A 6 meant a patient might survive if treated, but indicated treatment could consume a lot of time and effort, and there were no guarantees he would make it. But 6 could also mean that the injury was not likely to be fatal if not treated right away. Either way, a 6 waited. A 5 meant survival chances were higher and treatment less time-intensive, and so on down the count. The triage caller had to use experience to make the decisions, and thus had to be knowledgeable in treating the kinds of injuries coming in. A droid stepped up to Barriss. "I am to assist you, Padawan," it said. In one hand it held a pad of pulse-stickers.

    Barriss nodded, turned to the next stretcher, and gasped. Before her was a terrible sight: a trooper with all four limbs burned down to stumps, and nothing but red, suppurating tissue where his face had been. On Coruscant, or Corellia, or any of the other hundreds of civilized worlds, technology could attach cybernetic limbs and reconstruct his face-he would be a strange hybrid of machine and man, but at least he would be alive and relatively functional. But here on Drongar, they had no facilities even remotely capable of such things. She bit her lip and turned to the droid assigned to her. "Category X," she said.

    The droid applied the sticker, then looked at her. "A purgation of fire," it said. Barriss thought it was an odd comment for a droid to make, but she had no time to wonder about it. The wounded were being brought in so fast that she had to keep moving or be overrun.

    She had damped down on her connection to the Force as much as she could; extrasensory experience of this much agony at this close range carried a real possibility of synaptic overload. Even closed down as she was, she could still feel the pain, the fear, the horror of it all pounding and scrabbling at her mind. She swallowed dryly and kept moving. There were some here she knew she could heal with the Jedi arts she had learned, but it would take too long. Not even the Force could mitigate the cold and brutal equations of triage.

    Ahead of her, Tolk continued moving through the maze of dead and dying, followed by her droid, desig-nating who would live and who would almost certainly die. The fact that they were clones, all identical in ap-pearance, in no way lessened the horror; in fact, in a strange way it increased it-at least that was so for Bar-riss. Seeing the same body wounded and traumatized in a thousand different ways gave the whole scene a sur-real aspect, as if it had no beginning and no end, a per-petual loop of pain and death.

    She knew she had to focus, had to utilize the resources at hand wisely.

    Tolk moved to the next patient, slipped in a patch of blood, recovered her balance. She veered toward Barriss, who was looking at another wounded trooper. The Jedi shook her head.

    Another x, its red glow waxing and waning like the flow of lives all about them, was applied by the droid.

    They were dying like wingstingers hitting a zap field, and nothing Jos did seemed to matter. A repaired artery held without leaking, but the patient was too far into shock to come back, even with his blood volume pumped to the max. Another patient, without a mark on him, was smiling one second and dead the next. A scanner showed that a sliver of metal, thinner than a needle, had pierced the corner of his eye and gone deep into his brain.

    Despite the floor-level pressor fields, those working in the OT were at times up to their ankles in blood, urine, feces, lymph and spinal fluid. The air coolers and dehumidifiers were still not working, and the stench, combined with oppressive wet heat, overwhelmed the scents of antiseptics and astringents. The surgeons cut and re-sected and transplanted with practiced efficiency, their nurses and what few droids they had at their sides, and yet the patients still didn't make it. Commands, both shouted and whispered, filled the reeking air: "-need twenty cc's coagulin, stat-"

    "-rotate the bacta tanks, no one gets more than ten minutes-"

    "-keep that field going, even if you have to hand-crank it-"

    After two hours' work Jos was five for five-none of them had lived. He was beginning to reel with exhaustion - it was taking nearly all he had just to keep his hands steady. [Chapter 13]

[NOVEL] Jedi Trial by David Sherman and Dan Cragg

But before they could get out of the aid station, casualties from the ongoing assault started coming in and all the pair could do was step aside and wait for the flow of injured to stop. It didn't, and what they saw on the litters bearing the wounded was horrible. [...]

The surgeons established a triage. One had the job of examining each litter case as it came in and, depending on whether he thought the victim could be saved or not, determining where to put the soldier; these decisions were made in a matter of seconds. The unsaved far outnumbered the saved.

The worst were the burn cases, clones stripped of their armor, so badly incinerated that their limbs had been reduced to charred sticks, their faces to blackened skulls, uniform fragments fused to their flesh. Yet somehow they lived. None of these were put into the saved category. Others lay in pools of their own blood, limbs missing, internal organs exposed. Still others had obviously died before they were brought to the field hospital. They lay still on their litters, bodies bouncing as the litter bearers jounced them along. Over all was a dreadful silence; hardly any of the wounded screamed or moaned - they were all in shock, an orderly informed Erk as he brushed by.

[NOVEL] Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth by Karen Miller

Threading a path between hurrying medics and clone troopers and scattered bits of Grievous's destroyed army, Anakin let the Force guide him to where he needed to be.

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka sat side-by-side on crates in a hastily setup triage area, just outside an entrance into the spynet building. [...]

Ahsoka's pain-pinched face lit up. "Master! You're all right!"

"Of course I am, Padawan," he said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

His bored tone was designed to reassure her, but it wasn't working, as the answer to his flip question was lying all around them: triaged clone troopers, most stoically silent, waiting for the next medevac flight to arrive. Beyond them, decently shrouded, lay the bodies of those men who hadn't been so fortunate. And then, of course, there were the men who'd died going up against Grievous and his droid starfighters.

The examples fit well with the source material mentioned in the previous part. Thus we can assume that clones who died at triage points suited straight on or really close to battlefront will join the bodies of troopers directly killed in fight and be buried when the remaining GAR will have time and opportunity to do so. Sadly there is no explanation how the Republic procedures work, especially since the battle of Kothlis (TCW: Gambit - Stealth) was fought in the middle of the city and the advanced(?) urban space is not exactly the most suited place to bury anyone.

Medstar: Battle Surgeons and its sequel, Medstar: Jedi Healer (both written by the same authors) provides additional information about what happens to the dead bodies of clone troopers. For one, the sequel mentioned that Rimsoo has morgue to where droids headed with patients that died during operation:

Jos glanced at Uli, and then at Tolk, who said, "Uli seems to be doing okay. The orderly droids just wheeled his first patient out and they weren't heading toward the morgue. He's a cute kid." Tos shook his head. "Yeah. Cute." 

Logically thinking, the Republic Mobile Surgical Units had an intended place to keep corpses for a certain period of time but the space wasn’t boundless and its contents had to be emptied at some point. Especially when the hospital was overrun with patients that couldn’t be saved - and as sources mentioned, there were days when “the unsaved far outnumbered the saved”.

Morgues in general are a good place to store bodies that were meant to be identified, examined or claimed by authority or family. Star Wars’s advanced technology allows to preserve and transport the remains of people in a very good conditions and from the various sources it seems Republic provided such courtesy, either for 

political reasons like for example returning the body of Tofen Vane [The Clone Wars: Hero of the Confederacy, part 3]

practical, like during investigation the massacre on the planet of Devaron, in which Delta Squad brought back the bodies of killed there Jedi

Mysterious deaths! Unknown to the Jedi, a new threat has unleashed on the galaxy: Savage Opress, a pawn in the dangerous game between Count Dooku and his former assassin, Ventress. The victims of his brutal massacre on the planet of Devaron are being returned to the Jedi Temple for evaluation. It's up to the Jedi Council to find this mysterious killer, and eradicate him.... - the opening of The Clone Wars, s03e14: Witches of the Mist

or due to moral (sentimental) duty, like collecting and returning bodies of killed in action Jedi on Geonosis

Weary and heart-sore, Yoda stood in silence with his fellow Master and friend Mace Windu, watching as efficient clone troopers swiftly, methodically, and not unkindly loaded the last of the slain Jedi onto repulsorlift pallets, then pushed them one-handed out of Poggle the Lesser's brutal arena to the Republic transport ships waiting beyond its high walls. They were supervised by those few Jedi who had survived the slaughter and the military engagement that followed it...and who were not as serenely detached as Temple philosophy might dictate. [...]

He watched as Talia Moonseeker withdrew to a discreet distance, so the body of her slain former Master might be decently carried from the arena by the tireless clones who had fought this day, and died this day, so utterly single-minded and fearless that he thought of droids, not men-droids of flesh and blood, bred and drilled to be perfectly disciplined, perfectly lethal. [The Clone Wars: Wild Space by Karen Miller]

or Obi-Wan’s wish to give a proper burial to supposedly dead Asajj Ventress [Star Wars Obsession #5].

Take her to Coruscant for a proper funeral. Her whole life has been lived on battlefield. She shouldn't be buried on one too...

Even the Medstar sequel points out that personal items of the killed surgeon, Zan Yant, were sent back to his family.

When Zan had died, it had fallen to Jos to clean out his friend's belongings. He had packed up most of the stuff-the quetarra, clothes, book readers, and the like - and had it shipped to Zan's family, back on Talus. But hidden away under Zan's cot had been something he hadn't included in the personal effects package: Zan's supply of processed bota.

The difference between mentioned examples and the situation of clone troopers is that clones did not have any “legal” family to which their bodies could be returned to. They had brothers but their comrades at arms weren’t considered the citizens of the Republic, thus did not have any real civil rights to actually exert any pressure in regard to how clone remains were treated. 

This leads us to another information provided by Medstar duology - in medical places, organs of deceased clones could be transplanted into another injured soldier, as was mentioned by:

Star Wars: The Essential Guide to Warfare Author’s Cut, Part 7 — The Grand Army of the Republic (III) by Jason Fry (published on starwars.com in 2014)

“Replacement organs and body parts, either made of cloned tissue or taken from dead clones, were close at hand in nutrient tanks. (The surgical ward where dead clones “donated” usable organs for the tanks had the macabre nickname of the discard pile.)

After surgery, soldiers would be taken to a recovery ward or, for more severe cases, a bacta tank. Those who needed more than a few days to recover were transferred to a MedStar– or Pelta-class medical frigate, and often brought to one of the Republic medical stations. Aboard these spoked space stations, medics cared for tens of thousands of soldiers at a time, working diligently to repair bodies and minds so units could return to the battlefield.

and

Medstar: Battle Surgeons by Michael Reaves and Steve Perry:

She stepped closer. The naked body lay on the table, intubated and dotted with sensor lines and drips. He did not appear wounded or injured, but the skin was a mottled purplish color - it looked like one gigantic bruise.

"He's been hit with a disruptor field," Zan said. "Bioscan shows his central nervous system's been fried. I thought we could do something, but he's past that. Autonomic functions are stable on life sustain right now, but they won't last. And even if we could reestablish consciousness, he'd be nothing but meat."

"What can be done?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. We can harvest his organs, use 'em to patch up the next one who needs a kidney or a heart." He started to gesture to the droid, but Barriss stopped him.

and

At GB7 he was directed to a tiny 4.5-square-meter billet, barely large enough for the bunk-and-locker combination that constituted CT-914's home away from-actually, Jos realized, it was just his home. Unless one counted the vat from which the clone had been decanted in Tipoca City on the waterworld Kamino, CT-914 had no place else he could call his own.

The bed had been made to military precision, the blankets as smooth as the surface of a neutron star. The locker was ajar, and closer inspection proved it to be empty.

What was puzzling, however, was the spot over the head of the bed, where the trooper's designation should have been. Instead of reading ct-914, the frame was empty.

Jos spied a Dressellian corporal nearby and hailed him. The Dressellian, surly like most of his species, saluted somewhat resentfully upon recognizing a superior officer. Jos asked him where Nine-one-four was.

"In the recycling vats, most likely," was the shocking reply. "Along with most of his platoon. They were ambushed by a Separatist guerrilla attack two days ago."

The Dressellian waited a moment, then, seeing that the human captain was not likely to be asking any more questions immediately, saluted again and continued about his business.

Jos slowly left the garrison, stunned. In the last hour or so he had come to think of Nine-one-four as exem-plifying all of his newfound knowledge of the clones' essential humanity, and to suddenly learn that he was dead was almost as big a shock as hearing of the death of an old friend or a loved one. He had felt compelled to seek the clone out and apologize to him, hoping that, somehow, such an expiation would simplify some of the challenges of an awareness that now included respect toward more than organic life alone. But instead he'd found that CT-914 had joined his vat-brother, CT-915, in death. And Jos knew that it would be a long time, if ever, before their deaths, and all the others perpetrated by this war, would seem to be anything but senseless and despicable.

None of the presented sources provided a clear answer what happens with bodies of the dead, especially after taking out the needed organs. Who buried them and where? Or were the bodies cremated as a way of fast utilizing? The Rimsoss operated close to frontlines - close enough to save the wounded as fast as possible, not close enough to be in the middle of battle (though Separatists liked to target those mobile hospitals) so in theory, they could have cemetery of sort and for safety of other patience, the dead couldn’t stay forever in morgues or just lay around and take space intended for wounded. Sadly, the Republic procedures for such a scenario weren't explained in much detail.

There is however an interesting potential for “religious” aspect and/or psychological comfort in the transplantation of organs that keeps seriously wounded soldiers alive. A clone carrying a part of their fallen brother, in a metaphysical and literal sense, could be seen as “keeping the dead one alive” too albeit sadly, this subject is barely touched on as far as my research showed.

The above source material was focused on frontline reality of triage points and Rimsoos which provided the first medical aid for wounded. The injured clones were also transported to more advanced medical stations and here the situation of burials may complicate. For one, some hospitals were stationed on the surface of the planets (e.g. New Holstice) while others were literal space stations.

[Source: TCW:S01E03 - Shadow of Malevolence)

In the case of the latter, there is no access to solid ground to perform skeleton burial that seems to be preferred by GAR frontline procedures. This is of course just speculation on my part, but I do think that cremating bodies in space medcenters could be a real possibility if we take into account the limited space and lack of resources. Interestingly, shorty after Clone Wars there was at least one crematorium on Coruscant, as was mentioned in comics Darth Vader and the Ghost Prison:

A few weeks after the end of the Clone Wars, I attended a military council on Imperial Center. Between meaningless meetings and briefings, I wandered outside to escape the drone of Moffs. And saw that. The Imperial Crematorium. Each transport carries twenty dead imperials. In the time we’ve been here, nearly one hundred officers and troopers have been reduced to ash. 

Though the source is about Imperial times, the crematorium could exist much earlier and frankly, in the few weeks after the end of the Clone Wars, clones were still the majority of soldiers serving the Empire. Which suggests that some dead clone troopers presumbly killed in action were sent to crematorium instead of buried in the ground. 

Additionally, some medcenters were run by Kaminoan doctors and scientists and Kaminoans in general considered clones to be just property. Which is why cremating - as the more pragmatic and relatively easy way to “get rid of unwanted remains” - fits the Kaminoan mindset about clones in my opinion. 

Another thing to consider about medical stations run by Kaminoans is how other people have a little control over what is happening there. For one, the safety of medcenters were an important matter for the Republic, thus the applicable precautions such as limited access to communication with the outside world, as was pointed out in the book The Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth by Karen Miller:

With her fractured ribs swiftly and neatly healed and her other scrapes and burns and bruises consigned to memory-the Kaminoans even fixed the slight defect in her central montral, which was good of them, she grudgingly allowed - she was free to wander the unrestricted areas of the uncomfortably white and high-ceilinged medcenter, or keep up with her lightsaber drills along any handily empty circular corridor she could find.

What she wasn't allowed to do was contact Anakin with an update, or sit with Captain Rex and Sergeant Coric while they were in their bacta chambers, or visit with any other Torrent Company clones who'd been consigned here. And she hadn't been permitted to bid farewell to those who'd died in this sterile place despite the Kaminoans' best efforts to save them.

And that wasn't fair.

and

“Ahsoka!” Anakin’s hologram jittered and warped, the signal struggling to punch through the nebula’s interference. “What took you so long?”

“Sorry,” she said. “I was right up in the…”

“Never mind. What’s going on? You were supposed to give me regular updates!”

Was it the poor transmission quality or was his face practically black with oil? “I tried, Master, only…” She looked around, but the two Kaminoans sharing the comm center were busy with their own conversations. Still, to be on the safe side she hunched over the holotransmitter and lowered her voice. “They wouldn’t let me, Skyguy. They took my comlink and they won’t give it back!”

“It’s probably procedure,” said Anakin. “How’s Rex? How’s Carie? Have you seen them? When will they be discharged?”

“I don’t know!” She was practically wailing, and she didn’t care. “All I know is that Rex was hurt a lot worse than I realized. The last time I saw him he was talking, he didn’t look like he was…” She couldn’t say it. “But they won’t let me see him, or the sergeant, and they won’t tell me anything except they’re not dead.”

Anakin sighed. “That’s probably procedure, too. But if they’re not dead-that’s something. That’s good, Ahsoka.”

He sounded so relieved. It made her feel better, knowing he was as sick with worry on Coruscant as she was here. It made him seem less far away.”

If a Jedi commander staying at Medcenter or Jedi General worrying about his men weren’t told what was happening to the injured troopers in any great detail - or were not told at all - then logically thinking clones have an even lesser chance to learn about the fate of their injured or dying brothers (beside that they died at some point). Ahsoka even mentions that she wasn’t allowed to pay a visit to hospitalized there clones that served under her and General Skywalker nor to bid farewell to those who'd died.

Similarly to the Kaminoans, the medical droids like the one serving in Medbay on Republic assault ship Leveler also usually bar clones worrying about their comrades from the treatment areas. It didn’t work on Omega Squad though since the machine couldn’t order the commandos to go away. And only because Niner, Atin and Darman were so stubborn to stay and wait for injured Fi to wake up, they managed to save their brother once the droid declared him brain dead and actually disconnected from the life-support machinery.

  The senior med droid repositioned the sensors, checked the readout, and then stood back in processing mode for a few moments, the panel on its chest flickering through a sequence.

    Then it unhooked the filaments from the breather mask and removed the tube from Fi's throat. Darman couldn't work out what was going on at first. But Fi's chest wasn't moving, no rise and fall of steady breaths, and that was the point at which Darman started to think in terms of going in there and resuscitating like he'd been taught. The droid seemed to be watching Fi intently. Then it turned away to the trolley full of instruments, slipping items into the steribag for autoclaving.

    "That's it, I'm going to..."

    And then Fi took a long gasping breath and coughed. The droid spun around as if it hadn't been expecting that at all. Fi was breathing on his own again, but he certainly wasn't conscious.

    Darman was a stride from the doors when Niner stepped in his way and pushed through ahead of him.

    "Droid," he said, "you want to tell me what's going on? What happened there? Is he okay?"

    The med droid placed more sensors on Fi, this time on his chest and throat. "He's breathing unaided, and I wasn't anticipating that outcome."

    "So why did you take the shabla tube out of him, then?" Darman snapped. He got the picture now, all right. They thought Fi was dead. "What's that about?"

    The droid just followed its protocols. It dealt with a steady stream of wounded and dying men every day, and Fi was no more special to it than the next trooper. It was nothing personal at all. "His brain scan showed insufficient activity."

    "You mean you pulled the plug on him?"

    "I assessed him as brain-dead. That's still my professional opinion. The medical protocol is that we don't continue life support if a patient is still showing isoelectric scans after forty-eight hours." The droid paused. "Flatlining, I believe you call it."

    The words hit Darman like a punch in the gut. It wasn't supposed to be like that. Republic medical care was the best there was: prosthetic limbs, bacta, microsurgery, nanophar-maceuticals, you name it, the stuff of which miraculous recoveries were made. Fi couldn't end up like this. Darman refused to accept it.

   [...]

    "Clones can be very disruptive to the orderly running of this unit," it said. "I tire of explaining our protocols to you, which is why I usually bar your kind from the treatment areas." So this wasn't the first argument the droid had had with a man's comrades, then. "But I have no authorization to transfer a patient in this state to any facility, so what happens to RC-eight-zero-one-five when we transfer the wounded is outside my authority."

    Niner stood back to let Darman and Atin steer the gurney across to the treatment bays. They now had an audience of droids and walking wounded. "You mean you don't know what to do with him."

    "That's what I said, isn't it?"

    The droid let them take Fi. It was a busy droid that didn't have time to argue with RCs who weren't going to take no for an answer, and Darman felt brief guilt for tying up resources when there were wounded vode with less clout in dire need. But Fi was his brother, and if Darman didn't look out for him then the whole fabric of his tight-knit world, the small circle of people who were his life, meant nothing.

    Niner pulled the bay shutters across to give Fi some privacy, and the three men crowded in as best they could, shoulder plates scraping one another. They had no idea what to do with Fi, either, except lay him in a coma position, make sure his saline line was clear - Sergeant Gilamar's combat medic course back in Tipoca was ingrained in them - and get on the comlink to someone who'd be able to sweep aside the bureaucracy and osik back on Coruscant: Kal Skirata.

(And even putting Fi into hospital on Coruscant didn’t solve the problem, as he was once again almost terminated by medical droids. This time it was a befriended citizen (Besanny)’s interference that saved the clone commando). 

In contrast, in Medstar: Battle Surgeons there was a clone trooper who waited outside the operation room to learn what happened to his wounded batch-mate. Jedi Barris Offee was curious why he was standing in the medical ward if he was healthy as she recognized him as her former patient while the doctor Jos Vondar (surgeon who operated on the wounded) did not withhold information from the soldier nor rebuke for being there in the first place. 

Barriss was on her way to the medical ward when she passed a trooper standing in the hall outside the main operating theater. He didn't seem to be doing anything other than simply standing there, staring at a blank wall.

    To the unaided eye, they all looked alike, but to one who was connected to the Force, this was not the case. She knew this one. He had been her patient.

    She stopped. "CT-Nine-one-four," she said.

    He looked at her. "Yes?"

    She could feel his question roiling in his mind, and she smiled. "You might all look alike, but you aren't all the same. Your experiences shape you as much as your her-itage. The Force can recognize this."

    He nodded. She regarded him. "You have no problems with your blood pressure," she said, and it was not a question - she knew it was true.

    "No. I feel fine-physically."

    "Why, then, are you here?"

    She felt rather than saw Jos Vondar emerge from the OT behind her, was aware of him listening.

    "I helped transport another trooper here yesterday. CT-Nine-one-five."

    "Ah. And how does he fare?"

"I don't know. He's still in surgery."

    Jos drifted over. "Nine-one-five? He, ah, didn't make it."

    The wave of grief that broke from CT-914 and washed over Barriss was sudden and strong. To look at his face, however, it was hardly apparent that he felt this deep emotional chord. He said, "Unfortunate. He was" - he hesitated, just a heartbeat or two, - "a good soldier. The loss of someone so well trained is... regrettable."

    Barriss could see that, even without the Force, Jos picked up on something either in CT-914's tone of voice or his body language, as subtle as both were. He said, "You knew him?"

    "He was decanted just after me. We trained together, were posted here together, we were part of the same cohort." CT-914 hesitated again. "He... I thought of him as my brother."

    Jos frowned. "But you're all brothers, in a sense."

    "True." The clone trooper straightened. "Thank you for your efforts to save him, Doctor. I'm going back to my unit now."

    He turned and strode away. Barriss and Jos watched him go. [...] - Medstar: Battle Surgeons

The CT-Nine-one-four did not ask to see the body of his batch-mate nor what will happen to the remains, which can be interpreted in various ways. Either he wasn’t ready to see his brother due to overwhelming emotional pain or he thought the doctors wouldn’t allow for that (as Kaminoans wouldn’t most likely) or he knew the procedures and assumed the body was already taken to the hospital morgue and there he could say his goodbye to lost comrade - something that if happened, was simply not mentioned to the readers. 

Those examples lead me to believe that the more advanced the medcenter was (as in, run by Kaminoans) or administrated by med droids alone, the less control clones have over the fate of their brothers’ wellbeing and in the case of death, their remains. On the frontline, the troopers - if there is time and possibility to do so - may bury them in the way they feel appropriate (e.g. leaving weapons and helmets as a way to mark the graves). In widely understood medcentres however there are a number of procedures that have not been detailed much in source material and for all we know, the clone deceased may be mass cremated, as it seems to be the case in the early imperial era.    

Next part: Conclusions

[harmonyckrs]

DAY 7 in Twisted Strangetown: Investigating the Beakers

THE PREVIOUS DAY

Now that Vidcund is safe and Aktu is in Ajay's possession, Chloe and I figured it would be a good idea to move out and observe the Beakers. We told Pascal that we were doing a secret investigation to locate Bella Goth, which he seemed to take rather well.

He offered to escort us to the Beakers, which I initially assumed was out of kindness. It turned out there was another reason why he asked, though - that weird guy that Boss insisted we protect.

I'm not really into sex or romance, but I'm glad there's at least something going well for him after everything that happened.

Pascal also claimed that he got some valuable information to share to help us with our investigation in regards to "Bella Goth," but it turns out he just wanted to talk shit about Loki and make false claims about him being responsible for every bad thing that's ever happened in Strangetown. He and Chloe spent some time talking trash about him, even though our interactions with Loki are still incredibly limited and we have yet to figure out who he is a person.

Pascal tried to do the same for me, but unlike her, I take my job seriously (okay wow. I'm sorry for trying to enjoy myself and actually interact with other people for non-work related reasons? You gotta learn how to blend in man). I refuse to involve myself in petty drama, especially after what happened with Erin and Kristen.

Needless to say, Pascal did not appear happy about that. I expected better from him, considering his reputation as the most reasonable person in Strangetown. The competition doesn't really appear to be very strong considering the eccentric nature of everyone else, but I hope you can understand my point.

Mr. Beaker was out harassing the other two brothers while Mrs. Beaker was at work, which left only Mr. Subject inside of the house. I watched him try to cook hotdogs, but he ended up setting the grill on fire that nearly killed all three of us (and you didn't do shit when it came to putting it out lol). It's a miracle we were able to live (the miracle is called ME bitch. Give me some damn credit). Either way, I hope the Beakers are better at cooking than he is.

The General told me fascinating information about the Beakers, such as the rumors of Mr. Subject being their living test subject that they perform harmful and illegal experiments on. Erin also told me about her parents being well-loved scientists and not approving of her becoming an oracle, so I suppose Mr. Beaker may be the same way considering he follows the path of his parents.

On an unrelated note, a lot of people tend to think I was the golden child among Chloe and I as some kind of justification for why Chloe is the way she is. The truth is, that was neither of us. Aunt Glabe raised us the best she could, what with our father abandoning us for his new family. We don't know much about them at all since he never visited or wrote us letters, but Aunt Glabe mentioned that he had four kids.

FOUR FUCKING KIDS.

I'd understand abandonment if he wanted to live the childless life, but this is just irrefutable proof that we were unwanted! And the worst part? I don't even know where that man's grave is. Even if I wanted to yell at him and crush his tombstone the way he crushed my aunt's well-being, I can't.

On the bright side, the odds of me ever encountering any of those four kids is pretty low. I imagine they're probably all scattered around the world, living their best life with help from our father. I'm not even sure what they look like. For all I know, I could've encountered one or two of them already. The odds of me somehow meeting all four is really low.

THE NEXT DAY

[adultswim2021]

The Venture Bros. #42: "Blood of the Father, Heart of Steel" | October 19, 2009 - 12:00AM | S04E01

Hey! It’s a TV Show I actually like! But it’s also a show I like enough that I feel compelled to watch the blu-ray extras for. Hell, this episode had me watching a fan-edit. What can I say? I’m in love!!!! 

I can’t really get into the story of this episode without first talking about it’s unorthodox structure. Basically, the episode jumps around through time in a particular way. We cut back and forth between Brock’s story, which covers what he did immediately after walking off the job as the Venture’s bodyguard. The other story-line is what happens back at the Venture compound. Brock’s story occurs forward in time, like most stories in most episodes of most shows do. BUT: the stuff taking place at the Venture compound is shown to us in reverse order.

There’s also complimentary motifs for each subplot: Brock’s scenes all have a title card that correlates to the original stories found in Marvel Comics #1 from 1939. The Venture’s scenes begin with a CGC rating for a comic book being flashed on screen, which correlates to an actual copy of Marvel Comics #1 which is in the Venture’s possession. As the story moves backwards we find out that the comic has suffered a lot of careless abuse, going from a 9.6 NM grading to a 0.0 (or from 0.0 to 9.6 the way we see it). 

Slightly confusing is Brock’s story occasionally finds him at the Venture compound, so there’s some crossover. There’s also visual transitions from one scene to the next, even if it involves a significant time jump. Brock’s story primarily takes place early in the timeline, while the Venture compound stuff takes place later in the timeline. 

The episode’s cold open starts off with a scene that takes place right at the end of the season three finale, with the Monarch’s car exploding. It takes Brock out, who gets scooped up by the O.S.I. They take him aboard their S.H.I.E.L.D. ship and fix his heart by using robot HELPeR.’s head, sorta like an Iron Man heart (a character in the episode later mentions that robot hearts became all the rage since the Iron Man movie came out). Brock visits the surgeon that gave Hunter his sex change and gets a replacement put in, freeing HELPeR from his imprisonment in Brock’s chest. Brock mails HELPeR’s head to the Ventures wrapped in his jacket, which Hank takes and treats like a sacred object (we also see him wearing it defiantly in the face of Hatred's insistence that he and the Ventures wear uniforms).

Brock hides out for a bit with Steve Summers, the Bionic Man, whom he memorably gifts a bad painting to as part of his art therapy (I remember this painting being an avatar on a message board I posted on. This information is incredibly important to me, so I’m putting it here, parenthetically). Brock goes to spy on the Blackhearts and Hunter, who you may or may not recall doublecrossed Brock at the end of season three. Basically he was working with the Blackhearts in sending various assassins Brock’s way, lying to him about the OSI being behind it, for the sole purpose of just having Brock kill the Blackhearts’ competition. So that’s why Brock is seeking retribution.

Brock’s confrontation goes poorly, and Brock gets blasted out the Blackheart’s highrise headquarters. It’s here where he gets scooped up by Sphinx, and we find out Hunter was actually working with Sphinx as a mole in the Blackhearts. He also has his dick back (or he’s stuffing; but it's strongly implied he has, or has had, a pecker). It’s truly a banner day for those who like it when people have penises (the default genital).

Meanwhile, the Ventures plot involves them taking on Hatred as their new bodyguard. We see him in the OSI airship, undergoing some kind of chemical castration (or perhaps something more super-sciency), so I guess we don’t have to worry about him molesting the boys. Sorta fucked up, but the idea of “this is just a cartoon and also it’s meant for adults” used to cover a lot more ground in 2009 than it does now. The scene which introduces the fact that Hatred is now their bodyguard just jumps right into it: showing him already established and in the early stages of whipping the boys into shape. We’re also introduced to the HELPeR head being fused with the Venture walking eye.

This scene, which has Hatred trying to make a breakthrough with Hank by having Hank shoot him, is maybe my favorite scene in the episode. It’s especially funny, and it introduces this new dynamic really beautifully. Noted in the commentary; Doc was charged with writing this scene and Jackson thought it would be a little more spelled-out with Hatred formally introducing himself as the new bodyguard. The just-jumping in approach yielded a wonderful scene. It's especially good to start an in-universe shake-up on the right foot, and that's what they goddamn did, gosh darn it.

Also going on at the homestead: Venture is approached by both 21 and a group of Nazis (separately) to do some cloning work. 21 wants to bring back 24, and gives Venture his NM copy of Marvel Comics #1 as payment. Venture is incredulous that a dusty old comic book could be worth anything, and immediately lets Hank have it. We already know that he fucks it up all nasty-like, thanks to the reverse-story telling. 21 is dismayed to learn that the clone of 24 will be a baby on account of the clone slugs’ destruction.

The Nazis are looking to clone Hitler, whose brain seems to be in the body of a bulldog that takes a liking to Dean, which causes friction when it’s decided that the moral thing to do would be to murder it. This resolves with a parody of the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark, where Orpheus melts the Nazis into goo as well as destroying all of the clone pods (this was a very deliberate way of putting the whole clone thing to rest). This is one of the first scenes of the episode, so it’s not really a spoiler. A scene taking place immediately after these events plays after the credits, where Brock shows up, kills Hitler with the Hitler-killing Golden dagger (how’d he get that?) has some words with Hank, and then takes off.

I had historically considered this episode to be a bit of a failed experiment, at least in the way that it’s very confusing to the first-time viewer. Now that I’ve been through the series a few times (and have even deigned to watch a fan-edit that reorganizes the scenes in chronological order) this episode’s confusing structure gets less jarring with every viewing. Noted in the commentary: the intended effect was for the initial watch-through to confuse the viewer, and have it make sense by the end and especially on repeat viewings. Mission accomplished, I guess.

Anyway, I always approach this episode with low expectations, but this time I found a lot to love about it. I was dramatically composing grandiose sentences in my head about how season three managed to find the show going up it’s own ass, and that this episode starts the season on a similar footing. It takes a few viewings, but I more-or-less think this episode is great, and I admire the experiment. 

I will point out that after watching the chronology cut of the episode, that the Ventures story does seem like it’s missing some important pieces of the puzzle. Like, the story jumps past important beats, and having the episode show this story backwards does distract from these story holes. The Go Team Venture book does cop to the idea that this is roughly the reason for showing the one subplot in reverse order as a "fix".

This episode also kicks off Brock not being in the show for a while; he bids adieu to Hank and wouldn’t be seen for a little while. This decision, along with the playing of the timeline of the episode’s story, are characterized as being part of some larger mental collapse felt in particular by Jackson Publick, who asked Adult Swim to change the order from a single 13 episode season to a two-part season with 8 episodes in each part. He just wasn’t up to the task of writing more episodes, and was afraid of crashing and burning and fucking up with their money. Quitting smoking seemed to have a lot to do with it. He was also working on Superjail around this time, as well.

One last thing! The confusion of the episode’s scrambled order was exacerbated on the west coast by an error: Adult Swim aired the first act of the episode twice. So, after the commercial break, the first half started over. Given the nature of the episode, it probably seemed intentional at first. I don't remember seeing it live. More likely is I was recording it and was planning to watch it when it was over (or close to over), so I could fast forward through the commercials. I probably found out what happened online first. I have a vague recollection of feeling grateful that I knew where to find a torrent of the episode, recorded on the east coast.

Okay, one last LAST thing, actually: One tidbit I liked from the "Art of" book: the original idea for Brock's bad painting was to show him staying up all night passionately painting said painting and having that be the reveal. Funny!

[theotherackerman]

NOTES: This chapter was supposed to cover up until New Years but it didn't feel right to just sort of gloss over some of these plot points. So here this chapter is. Enjoy!

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentioned sexual harassment and body shaming (not on the page)

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Any recognizable elements belong to Attack on Titan

CHAPTER THREE:  FRIENDS?

Mikasa had not expected Eren’s apartment to be so clean. Then again, Carla never let him get away with a messy room. 

The layout seemed very similar to Mikasa’s, which made sense since the entire top floor was just cut into the two penthouse apartments. 

On one wall, there was a poster of the starting line up. Jean, Falco, Connie, Armin, Eren, and Colt all trying to look badass as they pointed their hockey sticks towards the camera.

On the opposite wall, there was the wings of freedom, the symbols of the Scouts. 

The front wall had a huge flatscreen tv with three different gaming consoles on it. There was also a pinball machine. Several couches and comfortable chairs took the space in the room. 

“Why doesn’t Colt hang out with you?” Mikasa asked as Eren disappeared around the corner. 

“He has a girlfriend who hates us. She hates hockey and thinks we’re all playboy assholes,” Eren said as he emerged with a cherry coke, Mikasa’s favorite. He held it out to her.

“Thanks,” she smiled as she took the drink from him and popped the top. Eren disappeared again.  “Is she anyone I know?” 

“Nah. She’s from Liberio,” Eren answered as he came back into the room with a regular coke. “You can sit. I promise the couches are clean.”

Mikasa raised an eyebrow at him before she sat down. “So…”

“This is weird, right?” Eren laughed after a moment.

It was.

For more than one reason. 

Back when they were kids, it would have been easy. Too much time had passed.

“Feel like sharing why you really quit dance?” Eren asked.

Mikasa groaned. 

“Okay, fine. We’ll come back to that. What was the deal with Karl?”

“He has noodle arms,” Mikasa muttered before taking a drink of her coke.

“Noodle arms?” Eren raised an eyebrow as he sat down on the couch opposite her. 

“He couldn’t lift me. Said I weighed more than a regular ballerina and should lose some weight. I suggested he should start lifting. It didn’t go over well,” Mikasa sighed as she put her cherry coke down on the little table closest to her seat on the couch. 

“You don’t need to lose weight.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “You’ve seen me mostly naked. You know I’m all muscle. That isn’t…it’s not very appealing.” 

“Who told you that? No, I want names. Because it is.”

“There’s no one here, Eren. You don’t have to pretend to be attracted to me. I know how I look.”

“I’m not pretending. You’re hot. I know at least three people who would kill to have their head between your legs to be smashed like a watermelon, including me. I also know for a fact I could lift you. So you’re right. Karl has noodle arms and should start weight lifting. And fuck anyone who has never made you feel bad about how you look.”

Oh.

This was not how Mikasa saw this going.

He was attracted to her?

That may have been the nicest thing he ever said to her. 

“Are you going to be nice to me now?” Mikasa asked.

“No,” he scoffed. “That would make things boring. Besides, I’m still bad for you.”

Mikasa shook her head. “So you’re an ass because you care?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

Mikasa narrowed her eyes at him, much like how Levi did. Eren must have thought the same because he did a double take.

“You don’t scare me,” Mikasa shrugged. “So since I shared something, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m an open book, what do you want to know?” 

Mikasa thought for a moment. What she really wanted to know is if he remembered his childhood best friend, if he remembered anything about her. But she also didn’t want to know that those years weren’t important to him. It was silly. They were just kids but still it had meant something to her. He had been her first real friend, her first kiss, her first heartbreak. 

So after a moment of consideration of what to ask him, Mikasa finally said: “what did you turn the giant empty space in the back of your apartment into?” 

“That’s your question?” Eren frowned, like he’d been expecting something else.

“I’m curious,” she shrugged before she picked her drink up again and took a sip.

“A weight room. I asked Historia and paid extra for there to be a sauna and ice bath back there. What’s yours?” 

“A library.”

“A library?” 

“Yes, what’s wrong with a library? I also use it to do arts and crafts in.”

“Huh.”

“What did you expect me to have?” Mikasa asked as she sat her drink back down.

“I don’t know. A weight room too. What did you think mine was going to be?” Eren took a drink.

“A sex dungeon,” Mikasa said monotone.

Eren choked on his drink. 

Mikasa started laughing. 

“A sex dungeon?” He repeated.

“It’s a thing.”

“I’m aware it’s a thing. I’m more interested in why you think I have one and why you even know about them.” 

“I read romance novels,” she shrugged. “And you have women over here all the time. I’m trying to understand the appeal.”

“I call you hot. You try to understand my appeal,” Eren shook his head. “No, it’s not a sex dungeon.”

“You’re right, you’re probably rather vanilla,” Mikasa laughed.

Eren shook his head at her before he started laughing.

Normally, Mikasa wasn’t like this. She could be blunt but the teasing, the flirting. She wasn’t always the best at it. Most people didn’t understand she was interested in them. She’d never been good at it. With Eren, everything felt natural. Maybe that’s why his shitty behavior got to her. She knew they could be good friends, best friends in fact. If only he would let her in, maybe then, he would see it too. 

Unfortunately, that also involved Mikasa letting him into her life. That wasn’t something she was good at. 

“How good are you at video games?” Eren asked, changing the subject. 

“I’m alright,” Mikasa shrugged. 

“Want to play something?” 

“Sure,” she grinned. 

Eren stood up and walked over to the entertainment center and began to list off games.

——————-

If someone had told Eren that he would be knocking on Mikasa’s door days after losing to her every single round of Mortal Kombat, he would have called you a liar.

“ACKERMAN! Let’s go!” He called as he knocked again. 

Since she was already going to the game, there was no reason for them to drive separately. Besides, if he admitted it, he liked spending time with her. He only hoped she felt the same.

A few moments later, Mikasa came out of the apartment, ready for the game. He noted her Scout hoodie that had ACKERMAN written on the back along with the number nine. It must have been from when Levi had played. 

They walked in comfortable silence to his car. Then he cued up his playlist before driving to the arena. As they both went their separate ways, Mikasa gave Eren a small wave with a smile. 

It tugged on his heart a little bit. 

He was dying to know if she remembered him. But he didn’t look like an idiot. So he settled for this weird little….whatever this was. There was a part of him that knew she was far too good for him. Once this PR relationship ended, they would go their separate ways. It was just the nature of these things. Besides, sooner or later, she’d get a new job, they wouldn’t see each other. She’d marry some other man and forget all about him. It was just a fact. He needed to remember that none of this was real. She didn’t actually want him. 

————-

“THAT’S A BULLSHIT CALL!” Hange yelled in the box seats. Tonight, Levi’s box had a lively bunch in it.

Hange, Sasha, Mikasa, and Zeke were all in there. Zeke was in disguise as he had a home game tomorrow and wasn’t supposed to be out. 

“Any game my brother has where I’m not playing, I’m going to. I always have. Thankfully, now I can just duck in here and not have to worry about running into our dad,” Zeke had told her  when he had walked in. He wore a mask, sunglasses, and his hood up. Levi had made sure they wouldn’t be looking into the box. Mikasa was beginning to think that Zeke and Levi might not be the rivals they tried to claim they were. 

Hange was always passionate but watching hockey, they were downright scary. 

“He’s not going to be able to skate. Daz is not going to be able to continue to play,” Sasha noted. 

“He’s going to have to sub Eren in. Why is Michigan so violent tonight?” Zeke asked.

“I think they want to try and spark Jean into a fight. Will Eren be able to keep his cool?” Sasha turned to Mikasa.

“Why are you asking me?” Mikasa replied.

“Because you’re his girlfriend,” Sasha grinned.

Everyone in this box knew the truth. 

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “He should. If he wants to play, he could keep his cool. As well as he can.” 

“SUBBING IN: NUMBER THIRTEEN, EREN JAEGER!” Shadis announced. The crowd went wild. 

Eren skated onto the ice. 

“Don’t fuck this up,” Mikasa muttered under her breath.

The game immediately changed.

It became the team that was completely in sync. 

Armin was doing well in the goal. Michigan was doing what most did to the goalie. They underestimated Armin due to his size but Armin was smart. He could anticipate moves, it was his brain that made him such a good goalie. Tonight was no exception. Armin blocked every shot. 

Before, it had been a game of defense. 

Now with Eren on ice, it was an attack. 

“Come on! Break it out of there!” Hange yelled. 

Defense of the other team was paying far too much attention to Falco. They were too busy watching the rookie to notice that Eren was right there.

They passed the puck from one teammate to another.

Then Eren snuck in there.

He was fast.

Almost as fast as Levi. 

Eren had the puck. 

“GO! GO!” Hange screamed.

“DON’T FUCK THIS UP!” Zeke screamed.

Sasha and Mikasa clutched their hands together as they watched Eren head down the ice. 

Eren fake left. The goalie followed. 

Eren shot to the right back corner.

“GOAL!” 

Mikasa and Sasha screamed as they jumped up and down. 

“FUCK YEAH!” Zeke screamed.

The Scouts all skated to Eren as he skated around the rink. When Eren got right in front of the box, he stopped for a moment. Mikasa locked eyes with him. Eren winked before he skated off.

Mikasa felt her cheeks warm.

It was all an act.

All an act.

—-------------

NOW TRENDING:

#SCOUTSBACKONTOP

#JAEGERDYNASTY

#ACKERMANJAEGERSUPREMACY 

#BESTCOACHACKERMAN

#LEVIACKERMANLEGACY

#GOALJAEGER

—---------------

Niccolo had a bar that was known for good food. 

Nights like tonight called for the entire team to celebrate together. Zeke wasn’t supposed to be here so he had slipped out from the game as soon as it ended. His house was not an option for everyone to fit into. So they went to Niccolo’s.

Mikasa had been there several times with Sasha so she was pretty comfortable in the place even though she didn’t know most of the team. It was also not a place anyone dressed  fancy for, which she had been thankful for when she had heard they were all going out. 

Falco had found her, still in his jersey. “I’m the rookie so Eren said to give you these,” he had said, handing her Eren’s car keys. “We’re going out to dinner.”  Mikasa had figured they’d end up going somewhere after the game. 

So she had waited for him in the car when she got a text from Sasha saying they were going to Niccolo’s and that Sasha would meet them there.

Eren showed up later than everyone else.

“Interviews,” Eren sighed as he climbed into the car and drove them to Niccolo’s.

Niccolo’s was full. 

“Come on,” Eren said, intertwining her hand with his. 

Oh right.

They were in public. 

Only the starting line up knew that they were a PR relationship, everyone else thought it was real. 

“We saved you a seat!” Armin called from the large booth in the back. 

Armin, Annie, Sasha, Jean, Connie, and Falco were waiting for them. Eren kept a hold of her hand as they walked through the tables. 

“Gabi is on her way,” Falco said just as Mikasa and Eren reached the table. 

Mikasa slid in next to Annie.

“Annie, Mikasa. Mikasa, Annie,” Eren introduced them. “I know you technically met at Zeke’s.”

“Right, the kickboxer,” Mikasa nodded.

“Coach. I don’t compete anymore,” Annie added before she took a sip of her drink. 

Eren let go of her hand and threw his arm around her shoulder. 

Mikasa looked down at his hand for a moment before turning her attention back to Annie. 

“I should have you teach me then,” Mikasa mentioned.

“I don’t think you need my help. I saw what you did to that guy on the ice. Good on you making him kiss the ice,” Annie gave her a small smile.

Mikasa’s cheeks reddened.

“What did you do?” Eren asked.

“Wait, are we talking about that asshole in high school?” Sasha asked across the table.

Mikasa nodded.

“That was epic,” Connie answered.

“What happened?” Armin asked.

“Fucking Floch had to run his mouth. We had a no contact boys vs girls game every year. Senior year, he was harassing Anka. She kept telling him to leave her alone. He wouldn’t. He kept trying to body check her. Mikasa had enough, flipped on over so he landed on his stomach. Then she held his head down on the ice until coaches got involved,” Jean explained.

“It’s on youtube,” Annie added. 

“Wait, Floch as in Warrior’s Floch?” Eren asked.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” Mikasa confirmed. 

“I hate that guy,” Falco muttered. 

“I went to college with him. He’s…something,” Eren replied. “You want a drink?” he asked Mikasa.

“Sure,” Mikasa answered. 

“Be right back,” Eren slid out of the seat and headed to the bar.

“So that’s interesting,” Annie nodded to Eren. 

“It’s….new,” Mikasa looked down. 

“For never having a real relationship, he’s doing well right now,” Jean noted.

“Speaking of relationships…where’s your girlfriend?” Sasha asked him. 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Jean muttered.

“As long as you don’t start ditching us like Colt, we’ll all be fine,” Connie teased. 

“Yeah, is your brother ditching us?” Armin asked Falco.

“As always,” Falco rolled his eyes.

Strangely, Mikasa felt at ease with everyone at this table. Maybe it was because they knew the truth or because she had known Sasha, Jean, and Connie for such a long time. But she didn’t feel uncomfortable as Eren got their drinks.

A wet haired Gabi showed up at the table before Eren did. She slid into the booth next to Falco. 

“Win?” Falco asked her.

Gabi shook her head. “No contact only seems to apply to the Warriors and not the opposing team. Fuck New York.”

“What is New York doing this season?” Falco asked.

“I don’t know. But Reiner, Zeke, Bertolt, and Udo are going to have a time tomorrow,” Gabi sighed. 

“Oh. That’s right. You’re Reiner’s cousin,” Mikasa thought out loud.

Gabi stared at her for a moment. “Yeah. Hi. I don’t think we’ve actually talked.”

“Because she’s terrified to speak to you,” Falco blurted out.

“Me? Why?” Mikasa asked.

“Oh. Well. I kind of spent my entire high school years trying to beat your record and didn’t. You were a standard for me. So talking to you…pretty intimidating,” Gabi shrugged.

As much as she wished it was the first time Mikasa had heard that, it wasn’t. 

“Well, we’ll be coaching together. So hopefully you’re not intimidated now. I haven’t played since high school so I guarantee you’re better at hockey than me. I’m nervous to return, even for this camp,”  Mikasa confessed. 

“Really?” 

Mikasa nodded. “I asked if you have any spare time if you wanted to reteach me the basic but–”

“I live in Shiganshina. I commute to Liberio. I do have days off so if you do want to skate, we can,” Gabi’s face lit up. 

“Really? I don’t want to bother you.”

“Trying to beat your record is what got me scouted right out of high school. I can spend time helping you remember. I doubt you’re that rusty.”

The conversation moved on as Mikasa saw a woman walk up to Eren. She was pretty, had beautiful long, black hair. He smiled at her. They talked happily.

They must have known one another but she was no one who Mikasa knew. Then again, Mikasa didn’t know everyone involved with the Scouts.

The woman ordered something from the bartender before leaning in closer to Eren. He laughed at something she said. Then the woman was running her hand down Eren’s arm. 

Eren leaned over, whispered something into the woman’s ear before running his finger down the side of the woman’s face. 

So that was Eren’s type. 

The woman leaned closer to him, her lips ghosting over his ear. 

Something in Mikasa’s stomach made her feel sick. She had no claim on Eren, not really. She knew what he was like when she got into it. Hell, she couldn’t even blame the woman as Mikasa and Eren’s relationship had yet to be more than a few pictures. 

And he was smiling with her. 

He was happy with her. 

Mikasa looked down. She felt a pair of eyes on her. She looked across the table to see Gabi looking at her, studying her. Mikasa looked away. The feeling was still there so Mikasa turned to her side to see Annie and Sasha watching her. 

It was as if they all had some sort of sixth sense that she was in trouble. 

Eren came over to the booth and sat a drink in front of Mikasa.  “I got you an amaretto and Coke since you like Cherry Coke.” 

Mikasa smiled at him but it didn’t fully reach his eyes. 

“And I got a coke for myself because I’m driving,” he told Jean who was glaring at him. 

Jean grabbed Eren’s drink and took a sip from it. He nodded in agreement before he sat it back down. 

Eren rolled his eyes. 

“Oh fuck,” Connie muttered as he ducked down. 

“What?” Sasha asked.

“Mina is here,” Connie groaned. 

“Who’s Mina?” Gabi asked. 

“She’s obsessed with our team.”

“So she’s a puck bunny?” 

“Basically.” Connie slid down further in the chair. 

Mina was staring at Eren from across the bar. She waved at him before seductively sucking on her straw. 

Mikasa looked away. 

“Is that why you were gone for so long?” Jean accused.

“No! What the fuck, Jean?” Eren asked.

“I just know your reputation.”

“Is that what’s this about?”

“It’s about I’ve known Mikasa a lot longer than you have! I’m not going to have you make a fool of her!” 

“So this is all about protecting Mikasa?”

“Of course it is!”

Mikasa stood up. “I don’t need protecting”

Jean and Eren both looked at her. 

“I’m going home,” she stated.

“I’ll drive you,” Eren offered as he stepped aside to let her out.

“No need,” Mikasa said.

“But you didn’t drive,” Eren pointed out.

“I’ll take her,” Gabi said as she stood. “Come on, Falco.” 

“Thank you,” Mikasa muttered as she followed Gabi and Falco out.

—----------------

Getting smacked by a magazine was not how Eren expected to wake up the following morning.

There was a very angry Historia standing over him. 

“Ow!” Eren said as he rubbed his head.

“What did you do?” she asked as she stood over him. 

“Nothing! I didn’t take anyone home! I didn’t drink! I was perfect!” He replied as he threw his hands up. “Why are you in my apartment?”

“Because you hurt her!” 

“How? I haven’t done anything!” Eren defended himself. 

“Then why is she backing out of the game next?” Historia crossed her arms across her chest. “Because I seriously doubt it's to help Kuchel get groceries for Thanksgiving.” 

“I don’t know! How am I supposed to know? She got all weird at the bar yesterday. I haven’t seen or talked to her since!”

Historia stared at him for a moment, studying him. “You did something. I know you did and when I find out, it won’t be me as PR coming for you. It’ll be me as Mikasa’s best friend.”

“I thought Sasha was her best friend.”

“You can have more than one best friend!” Historia huffed at him. She looked around his room, for what? Eren didn’t know but he had a feeling it was going to lead to violence so he pulled the blankets closer.

“Holy shit,” Historia remarked as she studied one of the pictures on his bedroom wall. “Is that…?” She stepped towards it. 

Keeping the blanket wrapped around his waist, Eren stood. “Out,” he ordered. 

“That’s Mikasa,” Historia remarked. “Mikasa is on your bedroom wall. Holy shit. Is this why you never have sex with women in here? Always the guest room? Because Mikasa is on your wall?” 

“Get out,” Eren ordered again as he pointed to the door. 

“I’ll go. On one condition, how old are you in that picture?” 

Eren looked over at it. He tried not to look at it. They were nine. It was before he moved. Mikasa had braided him a flower crown and he wore it. Even though he knew his other friends would tease him about it. He didn’t care. His mom had taken a photo of the two of them.  Once Eren moved, he cried about leaving Mikasa. So his mom printed the photo out and put it in frame above his bed. That was it always stayed. His mom had helped decorate his apartment once he moved in. She had put the photo in her with all of the others from his childhood. There were pictures of him with Armin, Reiner, Bertolt,  Annie, and Zeke from when he had moved to Liberio. It wasn’t like the photo of him and Mikasa was alone or over his bed anymore. It was just here on the wall of his childhood memories. 

He hadn’t purposely kept the women he hooked up with out of this room. It was just easier to make sure nothing of value got stolen or embracing pictures ending up on the internet.

“I see,” Historia said after a moment, pulling Eren from his thoughts.

“Don’t tell her,” Eren pleaded, his eyes refusing to meet hers.

“What did you do last night? Is it something I need to worry about?” 

Eren sat back down on his bed, keeping the blanket intacted. “I don’t know. I think it’s because Mina was talking to me. She didn’t even give me time to explain.”

“Do you blame her?” 

“No. I don’t.” 

Eren didn’t blame her at all. 

“I didn’t just want her to do this fake relationship just for you, you know,” Historia confessed. “Mikasa has been in a bad place but she loves helping people. She can’t help but help people. I thought maybe it would get her out, socialize. You two would be great friends, I thought. You looked like you were back then.”

“She doesn’t remember,” Eren muttered as he looked down at his hands. “It was so long ago. It doesn’t matter.” 

“I think it does. To you. I think it matters to you.”

“I’ll make sure there are no misunderstandings in the future, okay?” Eren finally looked up at Historia, meeting her eyes.

Historia studied him. “I won’t tell her.” Then she nodded before leaving Eren considering where his thoughts and feelings truly were.

———————

Thanksgiving was not what Mikasa was expecting.

Mostly because Kenny announced he and Kuchel were going on a cruise in two days. All expenses were apparently paid by Uri. Kuchel had managed to get some time off, they were leaving and wouldn’t be back until Christmas.

“I feel sorry for whoever gets stuck on that cruise with you three,” Levi had scoffed. 

The rest had been pretty standard. 

Mikasa did feel a little strange about the whole situation with Eren, embarrassed even. It wasn’t like he had done anything wrong. It was just listening to him and Jean fight. She just didn’t want to be involved, didn’t want someone saying what she should do. Mostly because Mikasa didn’t know what she should do. 

The good thing was that Mikasa and Gabi had exchanged numbers. Gabi had some spare time on Friday, the Scouts had practice in the afternoon but once it was over, they planned to get some time on the ice. 

Gabi stood in the goal while Mikasa took shots at it. 

“See! I told you! You haven’t forgotten a thing!” Gabi cheered as Mikasa got another puck past her. 

“That's because you’re a really bad goalie,” Mikasa laughed. 

“Okay, fair point. But you are very fast. What is it with Ackermans and being good at hockey?” 

Mikasa laughed. “It’s only Levi and me.”

“So your dad or mom didn’t play?” 

Mikasa shook her head. “My dad was an architect. He actually designed the arena.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. My mom wanted me to dance in the New York Ballet. Still trying to understand that dream of hers. She hated me playing hockey. She would always tell me how she dreamed of bringing her daughter flowers on every opening night. I wanted to play hockey like Levi. So we compromised. I played hockey and I'd dance. She made me try finger skating, but it didn't stick.”

“But you quit hockey for dance?” 

Mikasa sighed. “Yeah. I..uhh…every time I’d step onto the ice, I’d think about how my mom and dad had been coming to see me play. That's how they were killed. If I hadn’t been playing hockey, they wouldn’t have died. I was a good enough dancer to get into a few private universities so that’s what I did. I thought I could at least live her dream for me.” 

“I’m guessing that didn’t work out then.”

Mikasa scoffed, “no. It didn’t. I ended up hating it. There was too much hate, body shaming, and sexual harassment. Sorry. I don’t mean to just dump this on you….”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s actually…my life is sort of similar. I ran away from my parents. My aunt Karina took me in. I’m sure you’ll hear the story if you stick around the Scouts. But long story short, my parents only had me because they wanted a child who would make a lot of money and they could live off of that said. I ran away when I was nine. Went to Reiner’s house, didn’t go back home,” Gabi shrugged. “So you’re not the only one who had family baggage. It’s sort of nice that you do. Not like that…it’s just…I don’t know. I always sort of saw you as this record I wanted to beat. It’s nice that you’re actually a person.” 

“Do…do you want to go get coffee with me?” Mikasa asked.

“Yeah. We should. Besides, I want to know more about this Eren situation.” 

Mikasa groaned as she skated towards the exit to the Guest Team’s locker room.

—----------------------

Thanksgiving for Eren had been extremely awkward.

First, there was his grandparents.

They never liked Carla or Eren. They didn’t think that Grisha should have divorced Dina. In fact, they spent most of the time completely ignoring both Carla and Eren. 

“This turkey is dry. Your mother’s turkey was never this dry,” Grisha’s mother told Zeke. 

Carla set her jaw, biting her tongue. There was no point fighting with them.

Eren grabbed the wine bottle and filled his mom’s glass.

Carla met his eyes in thanks. 

Thankfully, Grisha didn’t make comments about Eren’s games or dating. 

After a grueling practice the following Friday, Eren passed Mikasa in the parking lot. He was surprised to see her chatting with Gabi, walking in together.

He felt horrible.

He hadn’t even bothered texting her since she left the bar. She clearly wanted, needed space from him. With Historia knowing that he remembered, he kept Mikasa’s photo and all the confusing feelings there, Eren didn’t want to talk to her either.

 So somehow, he found himself at his parent’s house after practice. Grisha was gone. He was doing guest commentary on some college hockey game so it was just Carla there.

As soon as he pulled into the gated community and up to the monster house his parents owned, his mom was waiting at the front door. 

“I saw you on the cameras,” she smiled weakly at him. “Come in and tell me what’s wrong.” 

Eren nodded, following his mom inside. 

While Carla had been hard on Eren, it was in a more loving way. She kept in line, without her, he would have spiraled even more out of control. 

“Why do Dad’s parents hate us so much?” Eren asked as he sat down at the kitchen table.

Carla sighed as she put the tea kettle on. 

Eren didn’t know anyone else who still used an old tea kettle on the stove but his mom did. 

“Dina Fritz was a perfect bride for your dad. She was known in the upper circles of the Liberio High Society. They were a good match. They fell in love, they married, and had a child. It was meant to be perfect. Then…they fell out of love. It was what was best for Zeke. A child seeing his parents fighting all the time, it was not good for him. So they divorce which was bad enough. Then he met me, a lowly waitress and bartender from Shiganshina.”

“Why did that matter?” 

“Because your grandparents care about image. Dina was a cousin to Uri and Rod Reiss who are both obscenely wealthy. I was no one but that didn’t matter to your father, it doesn’t matter to me. All that mattered is we loved each other.”

The tea kettle began whistling. Carla filled two cups up with tea. 

“So they hate you over something that happened nearly thirty years ago?” Eren raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. Did you know before I started dating your dad seriously I met Zeke and Dina to see if we got along?” Carla put sugar into both cups, then carried them over to the kitchen table.

Eren shook his head.

“We went out to dinner, the four of us. Then we went to a playground with Zeke. I spent the entire time running with Zeke. He’d drag me down the slide, through the monkey bars. I don’t think I ever ran that much in my life. Dina grabbed your dad and told him, “Grisha, if you don’t marry her, I will.” We became best friends after that. There’s not a day that goes by that I don't miss her,” Carla sighed as she lifted the glass up to her mouth. “But that’s not why you came here, is it?”

“I fucked up, Mom,” Eren confessed as he looked down into his cup of tea. 

“What did you do to Mikasa?” 

Eren looked up. “How did–”

“I know how to use the internet, Eren. You can tell me that relationship is fake but from those pictures, I don’t think it is. At least your feelings for her are not. I may be old but I’m not stupid.” 

Eren rolled his eyes, “you’re not even that old, Mom. This woman at the bar was flirting with me. I..I didn’t stop her. Then I ended up arguing in front of Mikasa with Jean about it. I could tell she was hurt when I got back to the table but…I don’t know. It feels nice to be wanted. Not chained to someone who couldn’t care less about me.” 

“You know Mikasa cares about you. She always has.”

“She doesn’t even remember me. She doesn’t like me. She doesn’t want me,” Eren laid his head onto the table. 

“Oh my sweet boy,” Carla sighed. “For someone so smart, you can be rather dumb. You should really look at those photos of you and her going around the internet.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Eren sat as he raised his head.

“It means you were already wanted. You were just too busy to see it. Now drink your tea,” Carla commanded.

—--------------------------------

The next game for the Scouts, Mikasa went. Historia had told Mikasa she could quit if she wanted to but Mikasa was true to her word. She would see this out for the rest of the season. Then she would move on. Besides, she didn’t have to do much. 

Tonight, there would be a good amount of photographers in the parking lot. Once the game was over and post game interviews, Eren and Mikasa would walk out together. 

Simple. 

Easy.

It was just Mikasa in the box tonight. Sasha had an influencer event and Hange had some sort of lecture they had to attend. Of course Zeke had a game at the same time. 

The box felt rather empty as Mikasa lingered there. 

Though she didn’t need to dress up, Mikasa had. She wore a black leather skirt with tights, a new Scouts jacket, a cute black tank top, and black leather knee high boots. She felt cute. Historia had sent a squealing gif when Mikasa had sent her a picture of her outfit. 

She spent most of the game mindlessly scrolling through her phone. The Scouts had already scored twice, one from Falco and one from Jean. 

Before she knew it, the game was over. Final score: 2-0.

She made her way down to the hallway that led to the locker rooms. 

“Hey Mikasa!” Falco called to her.

“Hi,” Mikasa waved. 

“How’s training with Gabi going?” he grinned.

“Really well,” Mikasa smiled. 

“Good. She needs more friends besides her teammates. Let me know if you want to come over. I know you don’t like to drive and we’re only a few blocks over. And if you wanted to go with me to any of her games, I know she’d really appreciate it,” Falco smiled again. “I’m gonna go home and see if I can catch her away game. Have a good night!” 

“You too. And great goal!” Mikasa called as he walked away.

She hadn’t expected to find a kindred soul in Gabi but she did. Though neither went into detail about their parents, they both understood each other. Mikasa hadn’t told Gabi about punching Gross yet. It just wasn’t something she was comfortable talking about. Though they did discuss Eren. She didn’t tell Gabi she had known him before. Just that she had felt like an idiot while he was flirting with another girl in front of the entire bar. 

“He is an idiot, not you,” Gabi had told her. 

While that was true, it didn’t make Mikasa feel any better.

“You coming out tonight?” Jean asked, interrupting her thoughts. 

“Oh. I don’t know. I guess it’ll depend on Eren,” Mikasa sighed. 

Jean frowned, “you can always just come out with Pieck, Connie, and me, you know. Sasha is going to try and meet up later.”

“I know. I just…I’m dating Eren, I go where he goes.” 

Jean set his jaw. “I know. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you last time. I hope that doesn’t stop you from hanging out with us. I’ve missed hanging out with you, you know. I mean you didn’t stop hanging out with me in high school when I confessed my feelings. Even though you did run away minutes after I told you.” 

Mikasa laughed, “I forgot about that. We were what? Fifteen?”

“Something like that.  I don’t think I’ve ever had a girl run away from me,” Jean laughed.

“I didn’t know what else to do! We were friends and I didn’t want our little group to break up because I didn’t return your feelings,” Mikasa confessed.

“Probably for the best. Sometimes I wonder if I didn’t have feelings for you due to who would come along later. Like something in me recognized the person who would come later. Same long dark black hair.”

“She’s the one, isn’t she?” 

Jean nodded, “just don’t say anything around the rest of the team. You know. So do Connie and Sasha. I just don’t want to scare Pieck off. It’s new but when you know, you know.” 

Mikasa smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Your secret is safe with me.” 

“Am I interrupting something?” Eren cleared his throat as he walked up. 

Mikasa removed her hand.

The nerve of this man. 

“And if you were?” Mikasa answered. 

Eren shrugged. 

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Let’s go.” 

“Yeah, let’s,” Eren said as he grabbed her hand, pulling her along. 

Mikasa looked back over her shoulder to see Jean shaking his head. 

“If we’re together, maybe you shouldn’t flirt with my teammates,” Eren hissed.

“And you shouldn’t flirt with puck bunnies at the bar,” Mikasa reminded him, squeezing his hand hard. She wanted to ball her hand up into a fist but it was hard to do while holding his hand. She didn’t dare drop it. 

But where did Eren get off being mad at her for talking with Jean, her old friend, when he could flirt with someone in front of the entire bar? 

She shoved those thoughts away as they came upon the door to the outside. 

“You ready for this?” Eren asked her as he paused at the door.

“I guess we’ll both see,” Mikasa retorted.

Eren pushed the door open.

Immediately the flashbulbs went off. 

Who the hell did Historia call? Every damn photographer she knew in the state? Because that’s what it seemed like. They all crowded around, yelling questions.

“MIKASA, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING?”

“EREN, HOW HAS THIS AFFECTED YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH  YOUR COACH?” 

“IS THIS RELATIONSHIP SERIOUS?”

“WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE HOLIDAYS?”

Mikasa kept her head down, not looking at anyone. Eren kept her hand in a vice grip, leading her through the crowd. 

This was absolutely out of control. 

Who did these people think they were? 

Eren wasn’t that famous and Mikasa sure as hell wasn’t. This was all Historia. 

This was overkill.

But then again, Eren’s reputation desperately needed something positive. 

Finally, they made it through the reporters and photographers, arriving at the parking lot. Eren walked alongside her until they got to his car. He opened her passenger side door. Mikasa climbed in. 

“I’ll text Jean and see where they’re all going,” Mikasa told him.

Eren set his jaw.

She hadn’t planned on going on but now that she found a weakness in Eren.

Game on.

—------------

What was worse than not drinking was not drinking while Mikasa danced with every other player on the team but Eren. 

She was doing it on purpose. 

He knew it. 

He could see it. 

He also knew it wasn’t just purely payback for that night at the bar. 

No, this was payback for everything he’d done. 

But he also knew that there was some part of her that at least liked him as a friend. Eren had listened to his mom, and looked at the photos. There were a couple shot as they had been walking into the bar. She was smiling at him, laughing. She was really laughing. 

This was why Eren didn’t want her to get close. 

He had known from day one he would mess it up. 

He always messed it up. 

He tried so hard for a reason. 

Years and years of being bullied by both his grandparents and classmates had pushed him to this. The need to be wanted, to be liked, to be the best. 

As he watched Mikasa dance with everyone but him, he wondered what it would be like to be wanted and liked by her. 

“Are you going to do the creepy stare at her thing all night? You’re reminding me of that shitty vampire movie,” Annie scoffed as she sat next to him in the vip lounge, just sipping on whatever fancy ass drink she had. 

“Why are you never supportive of me anymore?” Eren asked her. 

“Because you’re a dumbass,” Annie shrugged. 

“Where is Armin?” 

“Dancing with your girlfriend,” Annie pointed back to the dance floor.

Indeed, Mikasa and Armin were dancing. If you could call jumping up and down while holding hands and screaming the lyrics to a song dancing. Either way, Mikasa was smiling.

“That could be you, if you weren’t an asshole,” Annie reminded him. 

“Thank you so much for that,” Eren rolled his eyes. 

“That’s my job as your friend.” 

Eren rolled his eyes. 

Armin was the first friend Eren had made in Liberio. Annie was the second. They didn’t meet Annie until junior high. She was a year older than them but had been held out of school due to her shitty birth parents. Now, she only recognized the man who had raised as her father. Though Annie spent most of her time hanging out with Bertolt and Reiner, she got tired of watching Eren get his ass beat. So Annie taught him how to fight in exchange for an introduction to Armin. 

Annie was never afraid to call Eren out on his shit. Tonight was not a rare occurrence.

Eren sighed. 

“Have you even apologized?” Annie asked him.

No, he hadn’t apologized. He’d barely talked to her. She didn’t seem like she wanted to talk to him either. 

Eren just sighed again and leaned back on the couch in the vip area. He continued to watch Mikasa dance for the rest of the night. She was having fun. Eren wished he could have been having fun with her. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to move.

What was it about her? 

She didn’t give a shit that he was Eren Jaeger. She never had. Beautiful and perfect and everything Eren wasn’t. Everything that Eren would ruin. He always ruined everything. It was just his nature. That day she had been in his apartment, that day in the bar, he knew he was starting to like her. He knew as he watched her every move that he was undeniably attracted to her but it was more than simply wanting her under him. 

Eren wanted Mikasa. 

He wanted her more than just for one night, more than just her body. He wanted her to continue to challenge him, and put him in his place. 

Eren’s stomach dropped.

Shit.

Mikasa was important to him.

She had wormed her way in, right back where she had been all those years ago. Was it possible that  those feelings he had had as a child were coming back, stronger than ever?

—--

After a night full of dancing, Mikasa was exhausted. 

When everyone else started to leave, Mikasa followed suit, getting into Eren’s car. She leaned against the glass of the window. 

It was silent for a moment before Eren finally spoke.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked. 

“Huh?” Mikasa turned to face him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for flirting with Mina and I’m sorry for making you feel bad. I wasn’t taking this relationship seriously like I should have. It wasn’t….I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted to feel wanted.”

As much as Mikasa wanted to, she could not fault him for that. It was something she desired as well. 

“And I promise I’ll take things more seriously from now on. You’re the one who is doing me the favor and I promise not to forget that again. If you want to date Jean, I’ll cover for you,” Eren promised.

Mikasa laughed. “I don’t want to date Jean. He asked me out once in high school and I told him I wasn’t interested. Then I ran away because it was too awkward.”

Eren stopped at the light and looked over at her. Then he laughed.  “So we’re good?” 

Mikasa bit her lip, considering. Then she nodded. “Yeah, we’re good.”

Once they arrived at their apartment complex and were in the elevator, Eren turned to Mikasa, holding out his hand.

“Friends?” he asked.

For a moment she looked at his hand, seeing there was ink right under his sleeve. How had she not noticed his tattoos before?  She took his hand and looked him in the eyes.

“Friends,” she agreed.

Eren smiled at her as they shook hands. He let go and faced forward again. 

“We’re both going to regret that, aren’t we?” he teased.

“Probably,” she shrugged. “But it’s probably better if we are. Besides, I could use all the friends I can get right now.” Mikasa bit her lip again.

“Yeah, I could too,” Eren confessed. “By the way, you look good tonight. Not that you don’t look good every night. I just…you’re dressed differently but a good different.”

Mikasa looked over at him. “What are you trying to say? Because it sounds like you’re trying to flirt with me….very badly,” she laughed.

Eren looked over at her before he started laughing himself. “Okay, fine. You look hot, Ackerman. If you were anyone else, I’d say, you should come back to my place. But you’re not and we just became friends. So I’m not going to fuck our tentative friendship up.” 

Mikasa’s blushed. “What do you mean if I’m not anyone else? Because I’m your PR relationship?”

“No and not because you’re Levi’s little sister either.” 

Mikasa gulped. 

Eren took a step closer to her, brushed one of her bangs out of her eyes. 

Was the air in this elevator getting hot? 

She swallowed again as she studied him, trying to figure out how things had gotten this way. 

Well, this night had taken a turn.

The elevator dinged. They had reached their floor. Both of them walked out, to their respective doors.

“Goodnight, Mikasa,” Eren said before disappearing into his apartment.

Mikasa went into her apartment and took a cold shower.

[sergeantsporks]

Thoughts on the latest Gilded Family chapter:

Petro ending up flat on his back after leaning too far backwards in his chair was hilariously satisfying.

So Petro DOES remember whoever sung him that lullaby, eh? Oh and the mention of what that person would think of the man he's become enrages him? Extremely interesting.

Evelyn continues to be badass. Although notifying Caleb about the plan to save Ghost probably would've been wise.

The Gilded Fam has access to Illusion Stones that make them look like puppets?!

The Pit of Failures is as creepy and depressing as ever.

:( Poor Alex. I doubt getting pitched into the Pit was good for their bone health.

Phoenix and Belos' memories are mixing together in increasingly distressing ways it seems.

Ghost is okay! They're really cute!

D'aww! Ghost likes Phoenix! Is that because they woke up in his arms?

Possession time?! Evelyn destroying Belos' life work is cool and all, but it appears that was the final straw as far as the curse was concerned. It wanted to protect what it's original host had created?

:( Phoenix is so scared and desperate to not hurt anyone.

The boiling rain -Surprise, surprise- stings like a son of a gun! Foreshadowing? ;)

D'aww! Caleb braved the boiling rain to talk Phoenix down!

Confirmation that Belos was actively choosing to hurt people during his curse outbursts, not the curse itself lashing out at anything or anyone nearby is nice. Sobering, but nice.

:( Phoenix is so scared of turning into Belos, Oh My Titan! No, sweetie, no! You will never be that man. His curse or not, recent lying spree or not, you're too good of a person to do three-fourths of the bad things that man has done over the course of his very long life.

It not always being bad to lie is actually a really good moral, I appreciate it.

:( Caleb holds himself responsible for what his brother turned into. Granted, he still acknowledges that Belos was the one who made the decisions that he does, but admits that he was the one who set him on that path in the first place. He really is the best Dad for a household of ex-child soldiers.

:) Yay, Phoenix is going to go home with Caleb!

Oh, of course some Coven Scouts literally pop out of the bushes to make everything worse. That's just parr for the Gilded Family's course.

Phoenix may or may not have killed and or maimed those Coven Scouts. Being flung into trees isn't necessarily fatal, but usually isn't good for one's health either.

Caleb in pain and or danger? Curse Mode - Protection: Activated!

Mole snapped Phoenix out of it by hugging him! D'aww!

Cherry... seems better? Or at the very least, having a literal toddler to occupy his attention seems to have distracted him from his previous crisis.

I think Cherry and Ghost are going to be very tight.

Everybody wants to see the mud monster!

:( Ash "died" at the claws of the mud monster, didn't he?

Matt! The normal-est of the Grims makes an appearance! I hope he helps Ash feel better.

Sam really took charge there at the end, didn't he?

But um... Whose watching Petro? Someone was watching him the whole time right? Right?!

Mole tucked Phoenix into bed, D'aww.

I hope Petro isn't hiding under Phoenix's bed, waiting to strike.

Sleepy time now! Maybe Phoenix will dream about what's currently going on with Belos? If he doesn't get assassinated by Petro first, at least.

Pffffft, those scouts will be fiiiiiiiine.

As for answers to your questions:

They just used their normal concealment stones, which change them to match whatever is "average" in the area, in this case, puppets

Pretty much on the curse front. Whatever little bit of Belos was still left in the infection did NOT like seeing his build a nephew cave get destroyed, and since the infection was already pretty much completely through Phoenix's arms, it was bad timing for everyone involved

Yeah, while talking through Cherry's issues is good and would probably work if he's NOT in Full Crisis Mode, when he IS in crisis mode, the fastest way to snap him out of it is to give him something smaller than himself to take care of because he'll focus so hard on that that he calms down. Like puppy therapy with that man. Hand him the baby to get him out of a panic attack.

Yep, chain of command pretty much goes Evelyn/Caleb -> Cherry -> Sam/Joseph (maybe Meleager depending on the problem), so if the first three are out, and Joseph's not doing anything, it's Sam's turn to take charge!

Dw about Petro, he's busy having a long hard think about his actions like Evelyn told him to, obviously.

[writebackatya]

3, 6, 19, 25 for the end-of-year writer's ask game

{cracks knuckles} Okay then...

(for the people that were tagged, your mentioned in the answer to number 25. Pack a lunch, you'll need to do a lot of scrolling)

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

I can answer both right?

Favorite line: "How do you know? I'm magic." - Lena in chapter two of Up, Up, and Away!

So some context for the line. Della informs the kids (The triplets and Team Magic) that she can drive them to the beach to work on their movie just the five of them are going to have to squish in the back of the car. (I like to think that after Donald went on his sea voyage with Daisy, May, and June he left his car for Della to use.) Anyway, Lena immediately calls shotgun to which Della allows to happen much to Louie's chagrin. The green triplet then protests the decision since Lena did not see the car, Della however puts her foot down that Lena gets the front since she is the oldest of the kid group.

Louie then begins to interrogate Lena, letting her know he found it odd not knowing the rules of shotgun after living with Violet to which Lena lets Louie know that Violet did teach her the rules. Louie then let's Lena know that she has no right for the front now because there was no way she could see the car from the Triplets' bedroom to which Lena replies, "How do you know? I'm magic."

Whenever I see artwork of Lena and Louie it's usually just them chilling together. Which yeah would definitely happen because those two would definitely get along. But I'd also love to think they'd have these moments where they need to show the other that they're the superior snarky member of the group

I just love Lena's response because it's a lame excuse. She knows it. Louie knows it. And she knows that Louie knows it. But it's too late, she already has the front and there's nothing Louie can do about it.

They're both really clever and really snarky kids, but Lena has magic. So Point: Lena.

Also when me and my siblings got around the age where we were old enough to sit in the front we'd always fight for that spot calling shotgun. It was so bad that whenever someone called shotgun the people that didn't get shotgun would call "backshot" which is the seat behind shotgun.

Anyway, I always felt out of everyone in that group Louie and Lena would fight for shotgun.

Favorite scene: the scene where Gandra threatens Rick Rath (aka The Punnysher) at his job. Which is also from chapter two of Up, Up, and Away!

Anyway, context for THIS scene. Fenton and Gandra have snuck into the office where Gizmoduck's latest villain of the week works disguised as printer repairers. As soon as the two spot their target, Gandra goes over to persuade the wannabe villain to stop his charade. After doing things the easy way, Gandra decides to do get violent in a rather discreet way in an office setting. All while Fenton is repairing the printer

Overall I do love Fenton and Gandra part of the story. I loved seeing the two do science stuff together, but I really wanted to see more adventures with the two together, more specifically in their respected genres of adventures: Spy and Superhero so I wanted to open their story with an adventure that is a mixture of both.

Also for this scene I had to Google "How many volts of electricity could kill a person" and I wrote Gandra's monologue about that topic while I was at work and I'm pretty proud of that

So here's the thing about my writing process. Most of the time I write on my laptop at home. I will occasionally use my phone at work whenever I'm on my lunchbreak to read, edit, and occasionally add a sentence or two but never anything big. So yeah, that entire sequence was written while I was at work and it was a slow day. I did get all my work down so I wasn't slacking off. It was just a very slow day

6. least popular fic this year

In Views: The Three Caballeros (and Della)!

In Kudos: Up, Up, and Away!

19. any new fics to start next year

While part of me really wants to focus on the stuff I've already started, this other part of me wants to start several other fics that will most likely take up my time as well. So might as well talk about them. Some are already WIPs some I haven't even started if they have a title they're most occupying a save file in the cloud somewhere

Here are Multiple Chapter Stories I Wanna Start:

An Act of Murder!: So in this one Huey, Dewey, Louie, Webby, Scrooge, Launchpad, Gyro, B.O.Y.D., Fenton, Gandra, and Falcon Graves all get invited to a dinner party at Emma Glamour's home hosted by Mark Beaks who acknowledges that he had wronged each everyone of his guests (and his mother's whose home he is currently crashing at) and promises to introduce them to the "new Mark Beaks". Anyway, since this is obviously a murder mystery story Mark is found dead at the dinner party (and later his body goes missing) and everyone is a suspect! Yep, it's going to be that kind of mystery that has been going on since Agathe Christie's classic And Then There Were None...This idea came to me when I was rewatching an episode of Scott the Woz

Back in the Game!: I'm just going to come out and admit it, this WIP is heavily inspired by Korkorali and tsundereanubis's Closets and Moons, and How They're Alike which is a story where Della tells Webby, Lena, and Violet about her past loves. Anyway this would be a story set post-canon where Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby help her get back in the dating game. For this one I wanna explore all the different pairings I've seen Della shipped with (along with other ships I wanna brainwash trick force people into shipping).

F.O.W.L. Play!: So anyone who has read Indi-Quack! might be familiar with this title. This particular one would explore the time Gandra worked for F.O.W.L. so this one would take place during canon from the point of view of Gandra as well as a bit of Fenton. I feel like the way I wanna write this one was heavily inspired for my love for the shows like DuckTales, Arrested Development, The Harley Quinn Show, and Inside Job.

The Spear of Selene: Just a pre-canon story of the events leading up to the infamous Spear of Selene incident starring the Original Three. It's one of those stories where I know exactly how I want to begin and how I want it to end. Most likely my least comedic idea of mine, I mean there will definitely be comedic moments but not a whole lot. Expect a bittersweet ending

Untitled DuckTales 87 and DuckTales 17 Crossover Fic: So because of DuckTales 2017 and writing DuckTales fanfics I have now watched most of the classic DuckTales (as well as a Darkwing Duck but that's irrelevant for this one) anyway, I just wanna see these two different universes collide and certain characters interact with one another

Here are some one shots I'm hopping I can start. Because finishing one shots is great you're like, "Cool. Now I'm done."

Every Possible Angle!: Just a story exploring Louie's gift of seeing every angle of a situation. But I don't know, do you think people want an angsty fic starring Louie?

I Think We're Alone Now!: Another during canon story that takes place during season 3 during Gandra's time at F.O.W.L. where Steelbeak catches Fenton at Gandra's place and blackmails his fellow F.O.W.L. agent at bar. While she's there, Gandra runs into Della who is having a Girls' Night with her girl friends Penny and Selene. I like to think this happens right after New Gods on the Block!

In Which Della Shows Her Kids a Movie from Her Childhood: Title not final. Work not started. But this is a story where Della finds out her boys never watched a movie from her childhood and decides to show them (as well as Webby) the movie. You guys will never guess what the movie is

Thanks for the Memories!: DuckTales did a lot different genres of episodes, I always thought the show NEEDED to do a fake clip show episode. If you ever watched The City of Clipsville from The Powerpuff Girls or Paradigms of Human Memory from Community or The Gang Does a Clip Show from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, it's just like those examples. It would show moments in the show that we the viewer never saw.

We Are Family!: Scrooge recruits a team for an adventure to win a bet against Glomgold only to realize that not a single member of that team is member of his family (by blood that is). And not everyone is on board for the adventure. The two inspirations for this one are interesting again the idea came from reading a fic by Korkorali and tsundereanubis called Time Alone and also whenever I chip away at this one I end up listening to the Meet the Crew song by The Lonely Island. It's just fun to think about how big the family has gotten since episode 1

Untitled Dewey Centric fic: You know Dewey's iconic dream from Nightmare on Killmotor Hill!? Yeah, I wanna share my interpretation of that.

Untitled Fic Where Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Scrooge play Mario Party Superstars: Just as the untitled title says. I don't know if this idea is too niche

Untitled DuckTales/Celeste crossover: I don't know, I just always wanted to do a crossover where Scrooge meets Madeline from the game Celeste. They climb a mountain and talk about their struggles and stuff. This idea might be too niche.

And here are some One Shot Collection ideas

Dewey Dew Night!: Every story would be an episode of Dewey Dew Night where our dewlightful host interviews a character from DuckTales on his show. If I ever do this one I definitely would want the readers to pick the next guest

Untitled one of those text chat fanfic types: I'll be honest, I don't really seek out read stories that are just text conversations but I definitely see the appeal and have even done some text conversations in my stories so it's something I've considered. Plus I love writing character banter and there's a lot you can do with that format. I've thought of group chat ideas but none of them feel like a full idea

And just recently I decided that I really wanna write that AU where Scrooge took the Spear of Selene

Anyway I wanna start those. But I also wanna finish what I already got started.

This is gonna be an interesting year

25. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

@christianfoxymc did already ask me this question so instead of giving you the same answer I gave her, I'll just recommend another fic I loved

So yeah, I made it quite clear that I enjoy @korkorali and @imjustusingthistolikeartists's collaborative works and I liked a lot of their stuff. But I think my personal favorite of their is Dewey Duck's Guide to Figuring Out if You're Dating Somebody

I'm pretty sure I was at work on my lunchbreak when I got the email when I got the notification for this story and so I read it while I was at work. And I'm glad I did. This one is great

Dewey is my favorite triplet and Dewelyn is one of those ships I really enjoy and I think the two of them nail every character in this story. It's great

Thanks for the ask @shychick-52!

Also if anyone asks me 3 or 25 again I will most likely answer it again with a different answer. So be warned

[wibble-wobbegong]

Dear tumblr user wibble-wobbegong,

I went to bed immediately after reading your petergate analysis. My mind was frothing. My blood was boiling. I thrashed around while I slept, disturbing my usual 4 hour schedule, and when I arose, the only thought I had in my head was OWENS.

Now after sitting upright staring into the ceiling for a while I had a couple more thoughts, so I wrote them down, which resulted in "peber bad to father??" buried deep in my notes app. I have interpreted this to be about the "too much salt, Peter! Father's kidneys!" line (in reference to Peter Bingham) which 4 AM me thought was foreshadowing/hinting at their trauma. May I have your take on Peter & Owens father-son relationship? Do you think that line was hinting at a possibly abusive past? Is that why Owens never mentioned Peter?

Honestly, I'm just trying to make sense of whatever the hell I was thinking last night. Your analysis left me with a lot of good questions, and I just don't have the strength (finals!! gag me with a spoon) to make sense of my own theories.

-- Nonnie

anon i spent a solid five minutes laughing at that intro oh my GOD. i’ve done the exact same things so many times

so, owens’ and peter’s dynamic is a really interesting one!! you’re definitely onto something with the “too much salt, Peter!” possibly referring to peter’s feelings/actions against owens

from what i can tell, there are three key characteristics of owens that make him different from the other parents we’ve seen;

1. he’s dedicated to science and experimentation

2. he does so with the intention of helping others and is generally against harm being done to children. his highest priority in every season is about saving people, hence refusing to let them kill will and being somewhat manipulative to el because he believed she could save hawkins if her powers were returned

3. he’s too passive to actually prevent harm from being done to children, but he’ll never do it himself. he let the doctor in s2 continue to hurt will but he listened when hopper told them to stop (the doctor only follows orders from owens, so owens’ listening to hop led to the doctor stopping). owens returns el to her abuser without informing her of his presence beforehand and lets brenner push her and be creepy, but he’s frustrated with brenner the whole time and makes it clear he doesn’t want hatm to come to el.

generally, i think owens’ moral compass can be summarized by his little monologue to brenner

he’ll compromise his principals, his life, his family’s life, if he sees a way to save people. he’ll allow bad things to happen for the greater good. that doesn’t mean he wants those bad things to happen and he doesn’t necessarily want to do them, but he thinks they’re necessary for progress/the sake of people’s lives.

owens isn’t a very good person, but he’s not bad either. when i say he’s neutral in a way no other character truly is, i mean it in the sense that he does both good and bad for the sake of people’s lives. he hurt will to help save him and refused to let him die. he hurt el and gave her up to her abuser because he thought it would give el her powers and she could save hawkins (he also puts emphasis on her friends and family to make it more personal for her).

because of owens’ history with brenner and the fact that he worked at the lab prior to his introduction and his ties to the creel family, it suggests that he’s been involved with brenner’s work from the start. they work as partners in S4, so it doesn’t seem like a subordination dynamic. he replaces brenner at the lab.

before the lab starting heading down the path of MKUltra-esque experiments after capturing henry, it seems as though it started as a place dedicated to conversion therapy (if not, then an allegory to it). virginia wanted to send henry to brenner for some reason, and she seemed to hate him, but we don’t have much reason to believe she actually knew about henry’s powers. many have discussed virginia’s abuse of henry and how that possibly entailed sexual abuse related to bathtubs (i’d recommend looking at @/aemiron-main, @/hereos-byler and @/laozuspo for a deeper dive into the relationship between henry and virginia). if virginia were abusing him for her hatred of his powers, that part doesn’t really connect. abusers don’t often use logic, so of course it’s possible, but it seems much more likely she was doing so because he was “sensitive” and “quiet”, both of which we can associate with queerness through parallels to will.

basically, virginia most likely got in contact with brenner for conversion therapy.

i say all this because that also suggests owens was involved in conversion therapy at his own location; ruth, nevada. as a man of science as well as it being in the 50’s when homosexuality was popularly regarded as a disease backed by science as well as something that could be cured. it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to say owens was a conversion therapist. unlike brenner, he probably wouldn’t have gone to the same extremes of physical and sexual abuse. there was definitely some, but he does have his limits in what he thinks is okay to do to children for the sake of saving anyone, as we see in S4.

peter, being owens’ son, was probably aware of what his father was doing. this is where things get a little blurry for me, because i seriously doubt owens was experimenting on his own son but at the same time, with owens’ savior behavior, i don’t want to rule is off entirely. i don’t know for sure when owens figured out peter was gay, whether it was through his relationship with henry or if he had been displaying “queer” behavior earlier on, like will.

either one could lead to a hatred of his father. it wouldn’t be the same as any other relationship we’ve seen, because if owens hadn’t been experimenting on peter an an attempt to “save”him, peter could’ve resented him anyway for doing that to other people. if owens had been experimenting on peter, it likely would’ve been a mixture of psychological abuse and minimal physical and sexual abuse. owens gave lenience to the doctor in s2, allowing him to push will harder than necessary, but he also tries to draw the line when he thinks el is suffering too much (but he crumbles under brenner’s authority).

owens wears a lot of grids, suggesting that he himself doesn’t commit sexual assault but that he does create a space for others to do so. he’s the web for the spider. owens allows others to commit acts of violence. at the same time, if he were the highest authority figure at his location, he would’ve been able to call off things when they went too far like he tried to do with el. determining his exact limits is difficult because of how little we know about him, but they’re significantly lower than brenner’s.

peter’s relationship with his father, either way, is bad. it’s definitely possible peter tried to hurt owens, either to save those at the lab or out of his own hatred for owens (more likely the second one when we consider that the apocalypse could very well be based on peter’s own wishes). owens loved peter. his fucked up actions are based on wanting to save people.

in a way, owens seems to have grown from those days. he makes no comment on will or mike and he has the thing where he doesn’t question el when she corrects max’s gender. neither is really a confirmation, but can be interpreted that he no longer cares for conversion. it could be a result of peter’s death, seeing what his actions had driven his son to do. seeing that none of his experimentation stopped peter from loving henry, if he was being experimented on pre-henry.

owens doesn’t mention peter because the only people who would even know who peter is and are still alive are victor and henry. it’s part of why i have my suspicions about owens and the way he asks questions that lead to henry even when he shouldn’t have that knowledge. sometimes, it seems like he’s poking around looking for henry and he keeps finding leads but not answers. idk, owens and henry are a whole other thing

thanks for the ask!! hope that answers your question :)