#and maybe im just making excuses for myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

u3pxx · 1 day

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Apollogies (heh) for lurking around ur asks but I was just wondering if I could get some tips on art? I’m not very satisfied with how my artstyle is atm and was wondering if u had some advice :3

hmmm (excuse me if im incoherent, i just woke up DGDJDK) now this is by no means like Official art advice, just my own thing, but usually, when i find myself like, dissatisfied with how my art's looking, it's time for either: improvement or experimentation

what to do in improvement??? brush up on your basics, time for figure drawing, copying from references, studies, and the like! there's a lot of art videos out there that help out with that kinda stuff.

what's in experimentation??? think about what's the part in your style that you're dissatisfied with and think about how you'd like to improve it. is it how you draw faces? backgrounds? the way you color? then, turn to any art inspirations you have and see how they do things, try and see if you can reverse engineer how they do things! if they have any timelapses of their process, even better!

pick and choose qualities from other people's stuff and combine them to make it your own. maybe it's time to draw eyes a different way, maybe it'd be fun to try lineless for a bit, whatever! go wild!

i hope that helped or made sense DGDJD the most important thing about art is being yourself and having fun (ASKSKS but for real, i think it is very important to find a way to draw that's fun to do and really expresses you. ok, now have fun discovering that, yahoooo!!!!)

#beardoodles123 #sunnysideanswers

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pasta-human · 2 years

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#sometimes like today i just despise being neurodivergent and chronically ill #and i honestly have it so much better than so many people #but this sucks so much ass #i want to go to class and i love this class and prof #i love the content and i wanna work on this project #but my body and brain cannot handle this shit #im too fucking tired #and i have a migraine #and i havent done the hw i need done to even be able to do anhthing in class #i just wanna cry so much #bc i just cant keep up #not when im expected to be able to sit down and do my work every single day #and i know i should be able to #and maybe im just making excuses for myself #but i cant handle this #i want to so bad #and i have to #and i don't have a choice #but i just want to put everything on pause for a week so i can catch up #bc i want to be therw #i want to #but i know itll be more auffering than learning #this class is just so shit for my brain #its on a friday #when im most exhausted and burnt out #its early #and its in a dark room with a bunch of beight screens #i have a migraine every single time i go

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ctommy-antigone · 3 months

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it's meant to be the happy time of year - c!tommy + if we make it through december (phoebe bridgers cover)

Image credits:

https://pin.it/3dbmb0LFP

https://x.com/tommyinnit/status/1338596444681490433

https://youtu.be/UEj1xRvpSbk?feature=shared

https://youtu.be/DRXKriskZdQ?feature=shared

https://youtu.be/ZhNXz2yRPVs?feature=shared

https://youtu.be/_okO4CssoqI?feature=shared

https://lmanberg322634374.wordpress.com/2021/04/29/the-1st-lmanberg-war/

https://youtu.be/_okO4CssoqI?feature=shared

#mine #tommyinnit #web weaving #dsmp #dsmp web weave #had to dig through the vods for this and felt myself actually seething at the fact they did this in a PRAIRIE #the song fits really well regardless but exile would have been SO much more atmospheric if it had been somewhere snowy #<- my opinion dont come after me i like the beacj vibes too but come on!!#also just easier for me the poor web weaver why didnt they think of ME #was gonna leave this for when i have more time but its ctommy day so I had to....#im ngl posting this when ctommy would have turned 20 has me feeling some type of way #like to me its yeah he DID make it thru december he got out he got himself out and now he is fine... maybe not in canon but #in MY head and my heart he is happy or becoming happy #idk maybe im just trying to excuse the fact that im posting a webweave abt december & winter in july #also ALSO #i knowww this would look so much cooler in audio visual format but unfortunately i cant edit and i certainly cant draw BUT im gonna try to #learn editing this summer and this will be my first project <3 so stay tuned if ur into that

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asterdeer · 1 month

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me: im going to go mask off and disgust my therapist with my grossest wish fulfillment fantasy about how i wish i was treated in moments when i’m having a shitty hard day

therapist, after i describe it: interesting. we call that having extremely reasonable desires for care around here

#me: i want to COME HOME and say i had a SHITTY DAY and i want HOT CHOCOLATE AND VIDEO GAMES about it and for someone to tell me im BRAVE #disgusting. selfish. reprobate behavior #her: no that’s pretty normal i fear #every session is just like. did you know that you’re allowed to be nice to yourself?#that in fact it makes everything easier including interpersonal relationships when you’re nice to yourself?#and me screaming and flailing and burying myself under a blanket like BUT WHAT IF IM USING THIS SO CALLED ‘’DEPRESSION’’ AS AN EXCUSE…………#she’s going to get sick of covering the same ground every two weeks she REALLY is. maybe one day I’ll get it. maybe #aster chat

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moonlit-orchid · 10 months

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Sitting here wishing my ADHD was more severe just so people could realise I actually have a problem-

#adhd #probably adhd #undiagnosed neurodivergent #undiagnosed adhd #stuff like this makes me doubt if i have adhd at all #i tried to explain how when i was doing my gcse preparations i would take a day to do an essay #“oh it takes us a whole week”#NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN #I HAD A WEEK TO DO IT BUT I LEFT IT TO THE LAST DAY #ON THE LAST DAY I COULDNT PROCESS THE QUESTION #I KNEW WHAT IT WANTED. I KNEW WHAT I SHOULD WRITE. BUT I ALSO DIDNT #i love english. both language and literature #but it would take me hours to even work out what i was supposed to write unless it was under timed exam conditions #when it was timed the panic would put me into hyperdrive #but i only realised last night that maybe taking a full day to work out what to write on a simple essay might not be normal #but then people point out that this kinda thing is normal and i just. dont know.#do i have adhd or am i just giving myself excuses for being slow #or do i expect others to be so much faster and see myself as slow in comparison #im so sure i have adhd but i dont know either

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popping-greenbean · 5 months

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there are so many things that i could do so well,,, if only i could like.actually do them

#ok to rb or comment on if anyone wants to ??? i just want to ramble a bit #this post is about everything at once and nothing in particular but also very much about my art career wtf #i miss school already.having structure and clear immediate tasks to focus on and surrounded by people who i can tell myself can understand #like id still be feeling the raging imposter syndrome and self hatred but then at least i can still bury myself in schoolwork and #tell myself that its the best that i can do at the moment and i make excuses to forgive myself undeservingly for not doing more #back home with same old people into same old habits and i am once again 14 hiding in my closet writing edgy poetry plotting murder and #trying to ignore the yelling downstairs and trying to convince myself that its not my fault but at the core of it all it really is isnt it #and out of sight out of mind its harder to convince myself that i am still loved or worthy of it or even capable honestly #and craving the academic validation hearing someone say that what comes from my mind has any value at all any real meaning #and maybe then im still just trying to fool myself because what i want is for someone to believe im capable because i cant do it for myself #craving someplace i can distance myself from being who ive been all my life and guilt for not wanting what ive been lucky enough to receive #ok going to stop before i incriminate myself even more #prob will delete later but if i forget to haha hi #greenbean talks to plants

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reblog-house · 10 months

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I just realized I've been picturing the wrong household appliance whenever someone mentions Etho's Dishwasher.

I've been picturing a washing machine.

I've got no excuse. We HAVE a dishwasher home. How. I-

It took me seeing Ariosor11's community post animation of the dishwashers in action to realize my mistake.

#i suppose a washing machine is in theory more dangerous than a dishwasher so maybe thats why??#also because he keeps trying to 'wash' everyone 'up' and youre way more likely to fit in a washing machine than a dishwasher.#... im just making excuses for myself now #secret life #slsmp #trafficblr #ethoslab #etho's dishwasher #bo don't look #carime rambles

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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why is job hunting.

that's it that's the post

#this is both radicalizing me even more & absolutely harshing my mellow #why. do i need. to communicate with a 'virtual assistant'. to apply at hot fucking topic #you know? maybe i Dont need to apply there. who wants em #everywhere is like you need This This and This #oh look an entry level job! aaaand i need a thousand certifications #Excuse Me Where Do People Who Have Done Nothing With Their Life Thus Far Apply???#why do jobs exist. why cant we all just vibe huh #each application feels like a new death sentence #cant wait to work myself into the ground for a company that views me as nothing but an easily replaceable part! yeehaw!#cant wait to sacrifice my personal time / hobbies / wellbeing for a nine-to-five 5 days a week job i hate!#absolutely unprompted #this world we live in is miserable and infuriating and i want to SHAKE PEOPLE #fucking!! look outside!!! value yourself!! the company is not your family!! they are not worth dying for!! we are all worth so much more!!#gonna go out in the middle of a field and SCREAM #humans are made for art and kindness and for enjoying the short life we're forced into #why make an already doomed existence even worse huh.#why subject ourselves to that. we deserve better. our pasts deserve better. our futures deserve better.#sorry sorry im just. ARGH. this world!!! this life!!! could be so good!!!#but late stage capitalism rampant corruption among Many Other Issues said noooooooo #happiness is illeeegallllll #what if i BITE you. huh. what then. die #every time i sit down to apply i have to actively Not Think About It or i'll delete all my tabs and stop before i start #we as humans are not built for this life... we did not evolve proclivity for kindness and art just to stress ourselves to death #over silly jobs that do Not require the level of dedication we are forced to apply #abolish the 5 day 40+ hour work week... decrease the horrifying amount of funding given to cops and the military... etc...#i think i need to go lie down for a minute im feeling Too Much Anger at the absolute state of things #so happy to be an american. (sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm)

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atomiclace · 2 months

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who knew that some agere people would be the worst type of people to exist (talking about you spinny)

#dont get your toddler army to do your anon hate and unblock me on discord if u want to talk #ik you act like a baby and thats fine but if youre bold enough to try to get me paranoid (and fail) then u should be bold enough to dm me #yknow without hiding yourself #either do that or leave us alone girl!! move on #like why do you preach about moving on to a new era and then actively seek out trouble ????#get a job or something #trying to make me think my bf is cheating on me is such a weird thing to do and a big low for you spinny. it's actually sad #the worst part youre not even good at doing it. youre making shit up from what you THINK you know & hiding behind ur friend #its okay to fall out of friendships and im not even trying to meddle with your life but you are literally actively seeking out problems #and thats so pathetic. especially when you paint yourself all high and might over us ??? clearly we tried everything for you #until we got to a point where we were literally drowning because we have other shit in our lives too #you keep losing friends and complain about it. maybe consider why??? because of lack of communication and empathy!! youre just mean!#especially to those who've always tried so hard to have your back and defend you! (buka and me!!!)#yet you didnt care. you dont communicate and expect us to read minds & you demand things #and u say that a real friend should know when to reach out & ya but when it gets to a point where i feel like im drowning? no thanks #im prioritizing myself and my mental health im sorry #not to mention i was ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE IN YOUR BULLSHIT #so grow up. actually. and if you wanna dm me then unblock me and we can talk #if you want to keep hiding behind your toddler friends acting like youre all small and sweet and babies then go ahead but leave us alone?#at least ill have closure and finally come to terms that you're not rlly a good person and u use your illnesses to excuse ur behavior #because i still think about you and wish you were our friend but after everything thats happened (this being the cherry on top for ME)#then maybe you really just are a shitty person and you do more harm than good #soz to everyone else reading this just continue scrolling LOL #its drama cus an ex friend is sending their toddler militia on me for some reason???#delete later

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vincent-sinclair-deserved-better · 26 days

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hm

thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol

#cylas vents #negativity #negative #death wish #lmao #bitches be like '[potentially concerning thing]' and then add 'lol' as if it's funny or a joke lmao #like i mean technically it's not but then again it is bc it's me. like yeah don't worry don't take this seriously don't mind me ok #it doesn't really matter anyway kk. or maybe it's more like I'm the joke.#like idk the thought that like most of my f/os would probably kill me on sight should be less comforting than it is i guess #imagine casually making posts like this and still being like 'ok but maybe im not actually mentally ill maybe im faking maybe im lying to #myself maybe im making excuses maybe im imagining things maybe im just lazy' etc etc #none of the antidepressants since fluoxetine decided it's over have done shit and even my psychiatrist now is always like 'hm. so do you #want to keep trying other things' and like yeah what else can i do? therapy didnt do anything for this specific issue and the tagesklinik #lady didnt really seem to get my issue (well her suggestions for like therapy groups or whatever were more about socialising or whatever #like ??? girl that's really not the main problem here lmao but she also did have a point about how i would have to actually go there every #day etc but like #what else am i supposed to do #hi i am always tired and sometimes struggle to even get out of bed and thats why i worry about getting a job or something bc it could become #too much or whatever but like unfortunately thats kind of a requirement for everything lmao #when psychiatrist asks what i want/expect or whatever i am internally like 'a magic pill that just fixes everything and makes me a normal #functional human being' but like that's just not A Thing (tm)#so. like. what else am i supposed to do.#i don't want to be like this forever #idk how to tag lmai #using stuff like #tw suicidality #tw suicidal #tw suicidal ideation #just feels so over the top and like i dont have the right to use them lol

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readingwriter92 · 11 months

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Doing my own first semi attempt at NaNoWriMo in which I aim to do 50k but mostly just get a handful of stories I have been trying to write finished. Keeping this thread for accountability and motivation

Day 1:

Stories finished: 0

Word count: 622

Total: 622

#Sarah does Nanowrimo #not 1k but thats more than i've written in like. a month so #and it was fun and chill! and it didn't feel hard and yay!#I have maybe 3 OC things I want done #other thing is i wanted to start up again on some stuff for christmas #and then might do misc fic stuff as i get bored or need a break #this is an excuse to try and make myself just write without caring and uhhhh we will see #if i get to 30k ill be very happy #50k would be whack but we shall see #im not going to let myself be mad if i don't

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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God now I really don't want to relapse but I don't know if I can resist it

#i domt think i can do this #im in so much pain all the time i need something to make me happy #this isnt going to make things better is it...#but i dont think i can stop it now #idk :( maybe im just making excuses for myself...#maybe i can just... post pone the relapse? like try tk #idk i dont want to though i want to feel better *now*

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monsterbisexual · 3 days