#and maybe its miserable that im posting things like these here

[galacticleague]

speaking my truth on npmd because im thinking about this alot. i think the reason it falls flatter than tgwdlm and bf as a musical is that tgwdlm and bf have a running theme — want.

(whole thing undercut)

the cast of tgwdlm want human connection - charlotte wants sam to love her, bill wants alice to love him, mr davidson wants his wife to choke him while he jerks off etc etc, and eventually paul goes from 'i want what anyone wants, money, kids, a partner maybe idk' to - to put it simply - wanting emma (putting it very simply, if i went into detail this post would go off the rails). this switch is what makes him vulnerable to the hive and this want to live and to survive and to be happy with emma is satiated by pokey by giving him the connection he craves via hivemind, this is how it works for everyone. they want to be happy, pokey makes them happy by removing any need to want anything in the first place.

similarly, in bf, the adults of hatchetfield are still miserable and they want to be happy, they have this void within them that they feel they need to fill with products and consumerism. if they buy this stupid fucking doll their kids will love them, they will be happy, etc etc. and this want to be happy is similarly satiated by wiggly via the cult - they have something to worship, or - in lindas case - people who worship them. they have purpose, or at least they think they do, but whether their problems have actually been solved or not - they are still content.

but in npmd, this is less solid. theres that bit where they have to sacrifice what they want the most, but this is near the end. its kind of all over the place, and this wobbliness(?) is sort of just emphasised by the fact that there is no specific lord in black, its all of them. now i loved the summoning when i first watched it because im obviously a huge hatchetfield fan so i like. know who these characters are but as ive seen others say, alot of npmd does rely on knowing hatchetfield lore - understanding injokes. and in hindsight it just... isnt great for the cohesion of the plot.

tgwdlm and bf both have specific themes, specific lords in black, they have subplots but they have a solid throughline that is easier to follow. to me, npmd feels like its all over the place and it just feels kind of...mid for lack of a better word.

i think there were some moments that were just kind jarring? i guess? like if i loved you coming directly after ruths death was really strange, tonally. i wish they spent more time on ruths death tbh she deserved better. richie got two songs and an opening scene. anyways i digress- i feel like whenever i think about it im always like. i just wanted More. which is weird cuz its already like 2 hours long but idk. IDK!!! if i loved definitely felt unnecessary to me- like just conflict out of nowhere. i would have liked more build up to it. maybe im just salty that it took up stagetime that could have been used to grieve ruth but. sorry for the random if i loved you slander i think my point here is that some moments and some subplots felt more tropey, injokey or like fanservice??but not in a sexual way?? - is that the right word to use idk - than actual compelling plot moments. tgwdlm is an incredible work of theatre and uses subversions of tropes to communicate a great story, bf is a detailed criticism of american consumerism and how capitalistic societies force people to rely on products to make their lives better, npmd is. high school drama with ghosts. it just doesnt hit as hard on its own.

i dont want to be one of those "im a better writer, and THIS is how i would have done it!!!! im going to fix this!!!" people so im not going to do that but i think something i would have liked to see was focus on just one lord in black, probably nibbly because i feel like he fits the most and has the least preexisting story. i mean for gods sake, why does wiggly have the most speech time out of all the lords in black again!!! he already has an entire musical about him!!! greedy bitch- well i guess thats kind of his thing. i think i just want to see more of nibbly tbh, he has one nmt story and he only shows up at the very end. anyways that was kind of a side rant sorry gang. there isnt a problem with having a story featuring all the lords in black, but i think it just doesnt quite work in npmd for like structural reasons as well as plot cohesion.

i did enjoy npmd, im not pretending i didnt, but narratively it is the weakest hatchetfield musical and i just wanted to put my finger on what it is specifically. please dont take this as like hate or slander, i am a huge starkid fan, but i think it is important to consume media critically.

also i am not a professional i am a teenage drama and english lit student who likes media analysis and narrative design so just. take everything i say with a grain of salt :)

if you read all this, thankyou and if you disagree please lmk what you think(civilly.i do not want discourse in my notes)!! i could be hugely wrong about this and just need to think more about npmd and id love to see others' analyses!

[tchaikovskym]

There is this part of me that wants to wallow in self-pity, that wants to believe I'm doomed forever and that there is nothing good waiting for me. But the funny thing is, it's not true. I am better than I used to be. I am healthier than I used to be. It's just tiring to always try to be better. And while it is a possibility that the doom part of me will turn out to be true, there is a possibility that it won't.

[toytulini]

mental health just straight up plummeting

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[conjuringghosts]

really hate those posts for new users that are like... "Likes Are Fucking Useless !!!! Never Like Posts !!!" bc uhhh I actually love it when ppl like a post I made lol

[catboyfurina]

.

[fortunately-bi]

...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈

[lesbeamofsunshine]

honestly what the fuck is wrong with me

[jesterwriting]

scenario: stuck in a timeloop and the only way to restart is to die

pairing: sanji x reader, law x reader, ace x reader (separate)

contents: hurt/comfort, angst, gore, im serious about the gore tw, graphic description of death, post traumatic symptoms, maybe a touch of survivors guilt, breakdowns, time loops, if youve seen rezero you know whats up

word count: 1.6k words

note: okay if theres one thing i love, its angst and hurt comfort, and if there’s one thing i do when i write it, i go crazy with it. my hands were genuinely shaking while i wrote this. hope you enjoy! [evil laughter]

playlist: eleanor by cake bake betty

No matter how many times you died, you couldn’t help but scream when you woke up again. You lost count how many times it happened, and it wasn’t like there was any point in keeping count besides depressing yourself with your numerous failures. This was your power; horrible and nowhere near worth the cost of losing your ability to swim. With every death, you would restart back at a random checkpoint, beginning anew, able to change the way the timeline went. All it took was to die, and lord above, did you die. Sometimes it was quick, other times it was an agony that would haunt you for many loops after.

Your power left you lonely. Friendships you made in one timeline, didn’t exist in others. You remembered when you were young and greeted a friend from a past loop with a hug. Of course, they didn’t know who you were. They no longer remembered the adventures you experienced or the trials you endured, only you held those memories now. They pushed you away with a look of distress, and you cried for hours after that, burdened with the knowledge that whatever friendship you had before, was gone forever now.

You isolated yourself after that.

It wasn’t until recently that you found yourself with a crew, though no one knew of your ability. You hated talking about it, hated reliving each death again and again. Every time you felt strong enough to speak about it, you always ended up dying and resetting everything back to the status quo. You were surrounded by friends, but so completely, and utterly alone. It was a worm in your gut, chewing on you from within and tearing you apart.

Now, here you were. Dying again.

Failing again.

Your eye spasmed in your skull, the other nothing more than jelly in your socket. The taste of iron pooled in your mouth as you hunched over, organs squirming like maggots from the wound on your abdomen. Sobs wracked your body. With shaking hands, you scooped your entrails into the crook of your arm in hopes that you could put them back inside of you. They were slimy and warm, and you were reminded of eels, or perhaps hagfish.

Everything hurt. You were so afraid, you couldn’t breathe. There was a loud bang and a heavy pressure on your chest. Or maybe, your inability to catch your breath stemmed from the bullet that had pierced through your ribcage and into your lungs. When did that happen? You didn’t know, you didn’t care, all you knew was that you didn’t want to die.

Of course, you didn’t get a say in the matter. Before you knew it, your muscles were going slack and your body was crumpling to the ground. Blood poured from between your lips as your tongue wagged numbly in your mouth. If you weren’t careful, you might bite it off. It had happened before, and you died drowning in your own blood rather than to the slow drain of your wounds. Maybe, if you were lucky, you could have been saved then.

Not now, though. Your guts were supposed to be inside you, not spewed and steaming on the ground.

And, just like that, it was over.

You awoke in bed and screamed. With gasping breaths, your hands frantically felt the intact skin of your belly, and your bulletless chest. Though you were safe, the ghost of your pain lingered like a knife against your back. Sobs tore from your throat as you curled in on yourself.

It had been a long time since a death this bad. So lost in your own misery — again, again, it happened again, why won’t it stop? — you didn’t hear the door open until it was too late.

“Black Leg” Sanji

Sanji was across the room, scooping you into his arms before you were able to blink. You gasped and squirmed slightly as he rubbed your back. A part of you was still there, bleeding out on the ground, and your heart wouldn’t stop hammering wildly in your chest, even as Sanji murmured sweet nothings into your ear. Phantom pain gripped you, and your stomach clenched when you remembered just how slimy your insides were as you tried to put them back where they belonged.

“I’m here, love, I’m here.”

That only made you cry more. Your breath hitched as you gripped the back of his dress shirt in your fist and buried your face into the crook of his neck. You were hyperventilating, afraid that the bullet in your chest followed you into this loop, threatening to drag you under again. You died in Sanji’s arms once before, and the terror on his face had etched itself into your brain forever. It couldn’t happen again, you would drag yourself away to die alone under a rock if you could help it.

Sanji’s hand shook as he stroked your hair. “What happened? Tell me what’s wrong.”

Finally, you caught your breath and wiped the tears from your face. With a watery smile, one you were sure was nowhere near as convincing as you wanted if Sanji’s worried expression was anything to go by.

“I had a nightmare,” You said.

If Sanji knew you were lying, he didn’t say anything. He only held you while you desperately pretended that you had stopped trembling.

Trafalgar Law

Law was the last person who you wanted to see like this. He carried too much already. You were sure that he would crumble if he knew the weight you had been carrying right under his nose. Frantic, you pawed at your face to remove the evidence of your breakdown as if he hadn’t heard you screaming moments before.

“Hey,” He said softly, crouching beside you to gently grab you by the shoulders. Law squeezed, and you took a shaky breath and remembered where you were. You weren’t dying alone in the middle of nowhere, you were on the Polar Tang, with Law, somewhere on the Grand Line.

You sniffled and cracked a small smile. “Hey.”

Unwanted visions of your previous death assaulted you from behind your eyes. A sharp gasp tore from your throat as your arms snaked around your middle to hold your organs inside. It still hurt, why did it still hurt? You were safe now, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fucking fair.

Gently, Law pried your arms from your abdomen and pulled up your shirt to inspect it. “I don’t see any external injuries…”

You watched the possibility of an internal injury flit across his face. Before the word ‘room’ left his lips, you shook your head and choked on another sob.

“I had a dream I died,” You admitted the half truth with the sour taste of bile on your tongue.

Law’s brows knit and he let out a small, “Ah.”

Awkward, not yet used to the affection you bestowed upon him so readily, he wrapped his long arms around you with a small pat on your back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“If I died, you need to know I would never blame you.” It came out of nowhere, but it was the only thing you could think to say. The truth was, you would blame yourself, you had a lot of experience doing that, though you thought better of saying that aloud.

Law didn’t say anything in response, his thumb rubbing gentle circles between your shoulder blades.

Portgas D. Ace

“What happened? Why are you crying?” Ace was talking before he even reached you, pulling you against his bare chest before you even had a chance to realize he was here. His scent filled your nose, filled your head, until you were hysterical and pulling him as close as possible.

“Was someone here? Did someone hurt you?” With his righteous anger, his body temperature rose as harmless flames licked your fingers. All you could do was cry, so captivated with the man in front of you, your death was all but forgotten.

“No, no, I’m okay.” You pulled back to study his face, your own stained with snot and tears. He practically glowed in the moonlight that streamed through your window. Even at night, Ace shone like the sun. Your clumsy hands found his freckles, sweeping across the bridge of his nose and down his cheeks to his lips. Flesh and bone, alive and whole. You sobbed harder, low keening whines ripping from your throat before you could stop them.

“Had- Had a dream you were gone.”

Ace pulled you tighter against him. “Oh, babe, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

With your fingers tangled in his hair, Ace rocked you back and forth, hushing you softly while you wished to tear open your ribcage and keep him safe inside your body forever. The only way to get to him would be to rip you apart, and even then, you would come back again, stronger than ever. No one would be able to take him from you. You had died too many times to count, faced pain time and time again, there was no torture you wouldn’t endure if it meant you wouldn’t lose your sun.

How many loops had it been? How many times have you had to watch Ace die?

You’d save him this time, you would make sure of it.

[savannahsdeath]

hiii I love your work! could you pretty please do some toxic ellie? :)

TOXIC!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

summary: a miserable attempt to leave your toxic girlfriend

warnings: preferably 18+, just lots of toxic shit, manipulating, reader is crying

writers note: probably the only toxic post you'll see on my profile. honestly, i dont even know why i wrote this and im posting it just for the anon. i dont support any toxic behavior, cuz even a simple fanfic can bring some harm. dont read it if youre sensitive to such topics and if you decide to read it, dont romanticize it and dont blame me for any bad feelings you felt while reading - youre responsible for your own media consumption, im not forcing anyone to read. as i said, i just post it for the anon and also because i dont want it to just sit in my drafts (i dont have the guts to delete it). ugh its kinda long but i just want to make sure everyones safe, please take care🩷

you were sitting in your bed with your head buried between your knees for half an hour now, ignoring the buzzing of your phone. you caught her with another girl. you should cry and feel miserable, and all you could think of was; 'finally! finally a reason to leave her!!'. all you could feel was happiness.

but leaving her wasn't easy. you tried a few times before.

'maybe it'll be different this time', you hoped. but the way you kept receiving notifications from her said otherwise. 'maybe if i ignore her for a few more minutes, she'll let me go.'

you tried to put your phone down, but your hands won't let you. your thumbs kept reaching for the screen in a desperate, involuntary action. you were powerless to stop it. you knew you shouldn't respond. you know you should walk away, but you couldn't. every time she messaged you, your heart beated faster and your breathing quickened. you knew this isn't the best thing for you, but a part of you was still clinging to hope.

'enough, stop it.' you ordered to yourself.

you picked up your phone, deciding to call your friend. she'll make you remember all the cruel things ellie did and leaving her will be easier.

your hands were shaking and you were truly scared of what's going to happen. you hestitated for too long before clicking on your friend's profile and.. lost your chance.

ellie was calling you. she wasn't giving up and she was probably pissed off by now.

you sighed and whispered; 'sorry' to your future self, before answering the call.

"why aren't you answering to my texts, huh?" she asked in an accusatory tone, as if you were the one who did something wrong.

your breath hitched as you heard her voice. there's no going back now. "i'm sorry, ellie, it's over." you mumbled and shook your head in disbelief. 'i'm sorry'?? for what? where was your confidence?

she took it from you, just like she's going to take anything she wants.

"i'll pick you up in a few minutes." she announced and you felt tears starting to well up in your eyes.

great. so she's on her way here.

you took a deep breath to stop your voice from quivering. "i'm not going anywhere- not with you."

ellie laughed, thinking it's all a joke. "you're funny, honey. you know you come crawling back to me everytime." she replies calmly. "so get ready. i'm coming to pick you up, and then we can talk about this. like grown-ups."

ellie was good at controlling you. she'll say she's coming to pick you up, and you'll be waiting on your porch when she arrives. she had a firm grip on you and she knew it.

not this time.

"like grown-ups?" you nervously laughed. "you cheated on me. again."

ellie didn't get angry. she wasn't even surprised.

"don't overreact, babe." she replied in an irritated tone. "it's not like it was anything serious. it's just some random girl. i'm still with you. you should know that."

you were stunned by her cavalier attitude. she really thought it's no big deal.

"leave me alone." if there was even a little bit of toughness in your voice before, it all left. now, you were just simply begging her to stop. "please."

ellie's confidence and her nonchalant attitude was getting to you. you felt angry, but at the same time, you were starting to doubt yourself.

you wanted to hang up, but you couldn't. you just waited for her reaction, praying this'll be the end. but you knew everything depended on what ellie wants, and for her, only her own good mattered.

ellie chuckled. "oh, sweetheart. you think you can just break up with me over the phone? we're not even having a fight here. come on, be reasonable. let's just talk this through. i'll be there soon."

you proudly raised your chin, even though she couldn't see that. the tears ruined your confident facade anyway. "i locked the door."

she stayed silent for a moment, not expecting that from you. but she always had a plan b, and you realised that as soon as you heard her laugh. "i'll check that myself."

you heard her car arrive outside your house, and an instant wave of regret washed over you.

she knocked on the front door. "i'm here, love. open up." her voice was gentle, with an apologetic tone.

you knew it was all a ploy to get you to open the door. you knew this was just another manipulative tactic she was using, but it was starting to work.

"come on, be a smart girl." she continued in a sweet voice. "or we'll do this the hard way."

you cursed yourself for how weak you felt, even though it wasn't your fault.

"ellie, please..." you begged, with as much authority as you could muster, but your pleads still sounded weak.

"what's that, babe? are you crying?" she responded in a mocking tone.

you felt powerless to resist her. your stomach twisted in knots, but your fingers reached for the knob. your other hand quickly wiped away your tears, though there were some visible smudges left. you stared at the doorknob in your hand, fighting every instinct in your body to open it and let her in. but you knew she'll get her way, sooner or later. you just wanted to get this over with.

with a shaking hand, you opened the door. you saw that ellie was holding a set of keys - there was definitely one to your house too. she could just unlock the door, but she wanted to check if you'll listen to her. you didn't even want to think about what would happen if you didn't give up.

she walked inside like she owned the place, and she didn't even look at you. she knew she's got you wrapped around her finger.

"good girl." she said, with the same mocking tone.

ellie's eyes darted around the room, and she walked over to take a closer look at a framed photo of the two of you on your shelf. she smirked, letting out a sarcastic 'hmph, so cute'.

you stood there, defeated, as she walked past you and paced around your home. she made herself comfortable, as if she belongs there. you tried to keep a brave face, but she could see right through it.

she sat down and turned to you. "tell me, why we ended up here?" she asked, her voice was cold and unforgiving, but it also sounded curious. "why are you trying to leave me? aren't you happy?"

you felt your lips tremble, as you parted them to speak. "you know damn well what you did."

she stood up and walked up to you, standing right in your face and leaning a little to match your eye level. "fucked another girl? huh? is that it?" she stroked your cheek with the back of her fingers, mocking your pout.

you flinched away from her touch, but she grabbed your face with both hands and pulled you towards her.

"i just had some fun." she said calmly. "besides, you can't blame me for wanting something different. just trying to make up for what you lack." she caressed your face, tracing your lips. it was almost gentle, as if she wasn't even trying to hurt you. but her words cut deep. "now, stop acting like a baby." she let go of your face. "i'm trying to have a mature conversation with you."

the obedient, scared side of you wiped your tears away and straightened up without thinking, but everytime you closed your eyes - everytime you blinked - another wave of salty liquid streamed down your cheeks.

you sniffled and tried to keep it together, but your body was shaking and feeling dizzy. still, you stood your ground.

"please, ellie... i can't do this anymore." you begged in a shaky voice.

"sh, shhh..." ellie wrapped her hands around you, rubbing your hair in a soothing motion. "don't say dumb things. i already know you can't live without me. you know that too." she grabbed you by the shoulders and forced you to look at her for a second. "don't you?"

her embrace felt somehow comforting, not matching the poisoning effect of her words. you clinged onto her, hoping to get as much from this rare moment as possible.

but you knew, deep down, that this is just another manipulation tactic. you shouldn't fall for her games.

"there, there." she whispered to you. she held you even tighter, as if she was trying to absorb every ounce of energy you had left.

she pulled back and looked you straight in the eyes. "do you see what happens when you try to leave me, babe?"

"i am leaving you." you said with as much conviction as you could muster. "i'm serious this time."

but ellie just smiled, treating your words like a joke. "that's funny, honey. this is just another one of your little tantrums. you're just upset because you haven't gotten enough attention these days. but you don't want to lose me." she ran her hands along your cheeks and caressed your hair. "you'll come back to me. you'll come crawling back, just like always. because you can't live without me."

you instantly buried your face in her chest, as she started stroking your back.

she sighed. "are you finished?"

you felt ashamed. you failed, once again. you let her win.

you lifted your head up so you could see her expression. her smile was even more mocking and cruel now that you've given in to her.

"that's more like it, babe." she said with that same condescending tone. she pulled you in for another hug, as if nothing happened. "now, let's forget all about today, okay?" she whispered in your ear. "my pretty girl."

[mngo-jii]

MC's always so happy and cheerful ☹️ i wonder how everyone would react to her suddenly being a lot more gloomy than usual. could be either romantic or platonic hcs!

“ WHAT’S UP WITH YOU ? ”

characters: daniel page, lottie turner, ivy warrington, robyn thistlethwaite, kevin farrell, cassandra vole + frey twins

letter ✉️: good morning (for those who have the same time zone as i do) for some reason this didn't post and remained on queue 😐.. these might be a little ooc im sorry

★ DANIEL PAGE

he’s the first to notice the way you’re acting.

next to his concern is likely astonishment because he had never seen you this... miserable before

he’s like thats my job!!!

eventually he gets tired of seeing you so gloomy like there's a raincloud over your head, he drags you somewhere that would cheer you up, like maybe a trip to hogsmeade or a shopping spree at madam malkin’s robes.

and he’ll pay for it allll. he’ll get a little annoyed if you insist him that its ok

he watches you the entire time and takes note of how slowly the way you react or behave evolves back to your usual self

but if it’s something a simple trip won’t fix, then expect him to force the reason out of you

he doesn’t mean to be a bit pushy, he’s just so worried and can’t stand the sight of you so sad anymore 😭

you never knew he’d be caught in a position like this but here you are sobbing in his arms

he won’t say much other than a few advice here and there, but he shushes you so gently and coos at you while running his hands through your hair

very relieved once youre better 💯 but don’t tease him for cheering you up or he won’t do this ever again (he definitely will)

he tells you a sad expression doesn’t fit a (pretty) face like yours

★ LOTTIE TURNER

she’s also one of the first to notice after daniel

unlike daniel who’d wait when you two are alone, she asks the second she notices, even during a conversation amongst the group that has nothing to do with you

“[MC] are you okay???” she asks, concern lacing her voice. she interrupted someone when she asked that but it doesn’t matter 😭

why?? because youre sad. and its usually you who comforts them

so this is obviously a very serious problem

she’s very sweet and unlike daniel she'll leave you alone after the 2nd time of you refusing to talk about it, and instead would ask what she can do to comfort you

if you don’t refuse but rather completely break down in front of her, she panics and instantly rushes to pull you in a hug

“oh no no no don't cry im sorry-”

“i don't know what to do im sorry :((”

rocks you back and forth in the hug like a small child and wipes your tears with her thumbs :')

hours later she’s presenting you a little sketch of you and her in some flower field with smiley faces and ‘no sad’ written above

★ IVY WARRINGTON

also doesn’t notice AT FIRST until a little while later or when lottie points it out

strokes the top of your head like you're a cat 😭 “what's wrong, [MC]? :(”

brings you things like maybe flowers, small trinkets, biscuits, and pastries in hopes of cheering you up

honestly can’t function properly knowing you're sad

her mood would switch the moment she remembers you during times she'd usually be really happy and go “[MC] is sad right now :/”

nonstop talks about you, rlly worried

kind of tries to guess why you're sad like

“maybe they’re sad because [some random reason at this point because of the amount of times she tried to guess]”

will give you the best hugs if you let her

“we’ll always be here for you :)”

she squeezes you a bit before letting you go

★ ROBYN THISTLETHWAITE

is a bit awkward about it when she notices but shes rlly worried

“hey.. a-are you okay?” she places her hand on your shoulder when she sees how down you are

also a little astonished like daniel and only now did she realize that this was your first time ever being this way

because usually you were the one helping and looking out for them

kind of feels bad when she realizes that 😞 and also a little guilty

she tells the others about this guilt and eventually it kind of spreads

makes an entire plan with the others like “mission cheer up [MC]”

she’s gonna pop up randomly out of nowhere, like constantly, and will show you something you’d probably like

“hey! hey, [MC]! check out what i got! pretty cool, right?”

“yes its cool i guess 🙁”

“😟”

she tries her best 😭 it’s a little overwhelming but u can’t say it isn’t endearing how much she’s desperately trying to cheer you up

★ KEVIN FARRELL

a little too immersed with other things to notice for a while, but he catches on when someone points it out

doesn’t know what to do 🧍🏻‍♀️

kind of just lets the others take care of you but he gets rlly guilty about it 😭😭

robyn would drag him to help her cheer you up, and he’d comply quite easily because its the most he can do

he’s just as desperate as robyn too

doing your own things silently and having to predict which one of them is gonna pop up is like playing fnaf or something

he slowly starts to see that their efforts aren’t working and tries to convince robyn to do something else

he rlly wants to comfort you himself because he knows its the best course of action at this point, but he’s also a little awkward 😭

now he feels guilty about that TOO ☠️

when robyn pointed out you were always there for them he was guilty. when he just stood aside and let the others work it out he was guilty. now he feels guilty because his friend is literally SAD but he’s too awkward to go up to them 😭

he rlly worries about u, he rlly does! pls dont take it that he doesnt 😞

★ CASSANDRA VOLE

side eyes you

“can any of you little rascals tell me why they’re doing that ?”

“doing what...”

“doing that.”

gets annoyed because you dont react at all when she’s there 😭 as in you’re so stoic-faced and miserable it doesnt feel real

is very deep in thought as she stares at you from a distance

she doesnt wanna admit shes worried about you but she definitely could not stand you ‘looking like that’ anymore

glowers at your friends’ ‘useless efforts’ on cheering you up

life gets boring for her because you honestly dont care anymore, and your other friends are too busy with you to pay attention to her or the twins

eventually she just gives in

“i’ll show you all how it’s done”

after classes you return to your dorm to see a gift wrapped in gold on your bed with a letter beside it

when you open it, it’s something that you’ve been wanting for a really really long time but couldn’t afford :') how did she know about it? well it’ll remains mystery

“you look hideous with that look on your face. wipe it off. - C.V”

while the letter could have been nicer, she means well, but she wont admit it

★ bonus: THE TWINS

really REALLY confused and salty 😭 they’re probably the most confused of the bunch

while robyn and kevin desperately try to cheer you up at the most random times, they don’t rlly stop being pricks randomly for a while

it’s not to make you feel worse it’s just to desperately get to see you react like how you used to 😭

life gets boring for them too. like i said, the others are also too worried about you to pay attention to them

fischer will just go “pshh. whatever. let’s go” and marches away

but colby approaches your friends. “aye, what’s going on with them? 😒”

they’re taken aback and go like “why would you care”

he scowls at them and says that he doesnt that he just wants to know

they dont tell him and it makes him more salty

dont expect them to do anything they just keep their distance for a while until you feel better ☠️ you dont know if they do it out of niceness or because theyve gotten bored but wtv

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hello! I have two (separate) genres im interested in recs for, if youve got them (though combined would be fascinating tbh): Horror and farming sim-like ttrpgs. Horror im sure is fairly common, just not in my circles (which are adventure fantasy based); farming sim though seems like it may be rarer? for that id be interested in either solo or with 2+ people

Theme: Horror Games

Hello friend, I’m going to let one of my older posts do some of the heavy lifting, and point you towards the Small Town Farming collection I put up back in 2022.

You are absolutely right that Horror is much easier to recommend, but I’ll also try and put some quick recs for solo-farming type games at the bottom of this post.

1978: The Night They Came Home, by World Champ Game Co.

1978: The Night THEY Came Home is a 1-2 player horror roleplaying game telling the story of a fateful showdown between Survivor (a clever and resilient person caught up in horrifying circumstances) and Slasher (a legendary force of evil). Using a deck of poker cards, dual rule books, varied resources, and shared play space, players will recount the events of a forsaken Halloween, zooming closer into the haunting folklore of a small Midwestern town and its inhabitants, and culminating in a violent battle for survival.

Here is a game for solo gamers and folks who want a more intimate experience. If you’re a fan of Friday the 13th, this is probably in your wheelhouse! 1978 has a win condition, meaning that either the Survivor or the Slasher will come away as the victor, and the fact that this is also a game that depends on a deck of cards means that I think this might also be a good game for folks who also enjoy card games and board games.

Vast Grimm, by Infinite Black.

EACH MISERABLE DAY THAT PASSES, THE UNIVERSE INCHES CLOSER TO ITS INEVITABLE DEMISE.

Vast Grimm is a stand-alone, art-filled, punk-fueled OSR role-playing game about the few humans remaining in a universe being consumed by growing parasitic würms.

Are you a MAnchiNe ravaged by war, pieced together with remnants of bots and the little flesh left of your body? Maybe you're a twisted biochemist shoving needles into your arms in hopes that this next fix will be the one that saves you and what’s left of humanity? Or perhaps you are a soul survivor, like a cockroach, doing whatever is necessary to stay alive even if it means the rest of your Legion must perish.

This is a game about survival, no matter how gruesome things get, humanity must survive.

If you’ve heard of MÖRK BORG and thought it was cool, and if you want the same kind of energy but in a sci-fi future full of mutant animals and horrific parasites, then you might want to check out Vast Grimm. Your characters will have to ration food, energy and ammo in an unending battle against the worms. This game looks to have a large amount of support, from expanded content, to a number of adventures, to an online character generator. For over-the-top violence, plenty of alien goo, and shambling pathetic characters that look like they might fall apart at any moment, try out Vast Grimm.

The Lost Bay, by IKO.

What Is The Lost Bay? The Lost Bay is a Suburban Gothic tabletop RPG se199X. The Lost Bay is also the name of the setting where the game takes place: a coastal suburb inspired by films and media from the 80s and 90s. In it you play as a young person touched by the Weird, an ancient force that gives you supernatural powers. You roam the Bay with your gang, its malls, arcade games shops, skateparks and beaches, and fight the Horror that has awakened.

The Lost Bay is a game for folks who like their horror drenched in 90’s nostalgia. Characters are archetypal, and each one comes with special powers. Using your powers is exciting and effective, but also brings you closer to Scars, horrible truths about the world around you that will irrevocably change your hometown.

The Lost Bay is great for planning heists, rescuing friends, and trying to get out of dodge when the going gets rough. It’s not about fighting your way out, but more about trying to keep you and your loved ones safe. A lot of game designers have had a riot putting together adventures for this game, which you can check out in this game jam. The link above is for the Kickstarter, but in case you see this game after the campaign finishes, you can also check the game out on Itch.

Flyover Country, by Headstone Hills.

Fields of wheat and corn ripple in the wind, hungry eyes peering out between the stalks. Billboards along the road advertise strange and dangerous attractions. Smiles are too wide, manners too polite, secrets buried too deep. The neon light of a diner glows in the distance, but you may never reach its doors. An empty highway stretches out to the horizon, then wraps back in around itself. This is Flyover Country.

Flyover Country is a Midwest road-tripping horror role-playing game for 4-6 players: one gamemaster, or Watcher, and 3-5 players, or Drifters. It is designed to be played in one setting and without prep. It only requires paper, writing utensils, and a tarot deck.

This is a great option for a group where the GM is uneasy about doing a lot of prep. While one person acts as the Watcher, much of the events in this game are simply generated by drawing tarot cards from a deck. Characters will also draw from the Major Arcana to determine what their secret is - and what special ability it has given them. This is a game of hidden information, and grinding your characters down towards a tragic or grisly end.

Gravemire, by Clawhammer Games.

Gravemire is a tabletop roleplaying game about death, growth, horror, and survival, based in an original mechanical framework and set in the churning waters of the Louisiana bayou circa 1894. Players slip into the roles of outsiders arriving in the town of Scarstone, a rural outpost that has been warped by a terrible transformation known as the Convulsion. Once, Scarstone was surrounded by similar towns. The Bayou once had an end. Now, unknowable numbers of horrors seep through the uncharted backwaters, strange magic contorts reality to its whims, and the settlements that called Scarstone their neighbour jut half-ruined from the mire like bones from a wound. Times have changed.

Gravemire is a pretty brutal game, not afraid to kill your character and steal their soul. The town of Scarstone is a trap; your characters wandered in one day through curiosity or the desire for adventure, but leaving the town isn’t nearly as easy. Characters are built using a point-buy system, and as you play you may acquire more skill - but you will also acquire Aversions, which sap your Willpower and inhibit your ability to muster through the worst of what the game can throw at you.

If you want to check out an abbreviated version of the game, you can check out the Kickstarter playkit here.

Under the Autumn Strangely, by Graham Gentz.

"Under the Autumn Strangely" is a storytelling game of pastoral horror priming with anachronistic Americana set in a land that Never Was.

Inspired by "Over the Garden Wall" created by Patrick McHale, players collaboratively create a world uncanny and old. Codify and encourage tonal clash as the Three Roles meld whimsy, autumnal melancholy, and dread.

Take a wrong turn on a dusty road. Follow the sign past the red barn with peeling paint. Doubt your senses.

Get a little lost.

Welcome to the Never Was.

From what I understand about this game, it works best with three players, as there are three roles that the participants are expected to embody. One person plays the Arcadian, who embodies the landscape and setting. One person plays the Traveller, who acts as a “main” character. One person plays the Terror, which grows to dominate the story. Each role can only add to to one role’s suggestions, and can only deny the other’s. If you want to mix your horror with nostalgia and a romanticized vision of the rural USA, you might want to check out Under the Autumn Strangely.

The Facility, by Galen Pejeu.

You awaken, cold and in the dark. Fumbling around by low blue lights in a coffin shaped pod. You pull yourself out of the box, and in the dark see the faces of others. You are all wearing loose fitting white clothing and laceless shoes. Hospital patients? 

You peer into the dark, seeing little but hearing the sound of dripping, running water and distant machinery. You gather what you can, knowing that something is hunting you. It will be here soon.

Wait.

Can you remember who you are?

The Facility is a game for any number of players, taking on the role of ordinary people, stripped of their memories and trapped in a hostile and insane labyrinth of machines and interdimensional weirdness.

The Facility places your crew into an unknown place full of machines that want to kill you. It’s great for high-action scenes, and since your characters have lost their memories, I think the struggle to find pieces of who you are (or were) is a great way to zoom in and make the horror personal. The game is Breathless, so expect your character’s gear and/or abilities to slowly wear down over time, and for the staked to get bigger every time you pause to try and re-stock. If you want a science-fiction twist to your horror game, check out The Facility.

You Should Also Check Out...

My Shudders Rec Post

The Curse of the House of Rookwood, by Nerdy Pup Games.

Nature, Town, Farm, Villagers, by CardboardHyperfix.

Weeds in the Waste, by Meghan Cross

The Wandering Tea Garden, by AP.

Green Thumb, by Curious Frog.

The Bonsai Diary, by Sticky Doodler.

Iron Valley, by M.Kirin.

[wiihtigo]

i sent an ask sayinh "NELL DIED????" but then tumblr gavev me a scary error message so maybe it ate it... sorry if it didnt but NELL DIED?

SOB...YES.....I DIDNT WANT IT TO HAPPEN..!!! i encourage you to go knock down the door of @megamind2010 for more in depth answers about nell lore if youre a ladybughead.

but the basic deal is that this happens...later...sometime later. in their lives. ladybug following the proud blue beetle line of being exploded in action (i drew smthn inspired by the despair i feel when i think about this ^_^)

this affects casey really badly. ARE YOU SURPRISED..? DID YOU THINK SHE WAS HEARTLESS? so did I. mm basically she goes like catatonic immediately after (even through the funeral which michelle has to guide her to like she could float away at any second)

michelle is a supportive presence for her during this because shes like jeez idk she might kill herself im worried. and shes ALSO fucked up about nell dying bcuz she was involved in the same event ladybug was killed in (goldstars very first crisis event we;re so proud of her) and you know. shes never experienced the classic superhero experience of one of your hero peers dying horribly tragically. so her looking after casey is probably also her way of coping, like a way of keeping her hands busy because shes realizing hero work is actually kind of scary

shes only broken out of her 0__0 state by ..um. BOOSTER GOLD COMING OVER BECAUSE HE WAS LIKE MAN..SHOULD I SAY SOMETHING? (hes genuinely a little worried) (BUT NO DONT)

ive posted these before without context but this was the context LOL

seeing booster breaks the dam in her heart and all her feelings coming flooding out in form of crazy migraine inducing rage (im getting deja vu) and she throws shit at him screaming at him to GTFO and hes like crawling away with a broken nose OK good talk and ted and michelle are like WHY TF DID YOU DO THAT?and after that casey goes into the worst state of depression shes ever experienced in her life...ive mentioned in an ask before i think that she doesnt really get sad? when bad things happen to her she just gets angry. she never cries genuine tears. so the state she gets into here is really scarily jarring because its so fucking WEEEIRDLY OUT OF CHARACTER. she spends all day crying and whenever michelle comes over now she feels sick looking at her and she cries and cries and cries and whines that she doesnt want to see her she wants nell and she stays holed up in their apartment until shes kicked out because no ones paying rent and shes moves cities without saying a word to anyone. she only realized after she died that she actually did love (EW. sorry) nell and now she doesnt even have any way of knowing if they couldve done anythng with that. she hates booster more than ever she hates ted she cant talk to michelle anymore she hates gotham she hates her life she hates everything, eventually she does get a job in the film industry as like a screenwriter/editor but she hates that its not exactly what she wanted that shes just barely almost there and she should be excited to be so close to her goals but shes not so shes just this grouchy miserable (but good at her job!) woman that no one wants to talk to and then she dies. the end.

(but look-- here they are reunited in hell..!)

wehwwww SORRY FOR JUST COVERING CASEYS SIDE OF THINGS AND NOT NELLS....i figure youd get more juicy details if you ask marty :)

[zooblenation]

OK GAMERS. ITS TIME. CHESIL DEAL WITH PANDEMONIUM BACKSTORY. for those of you who are new here: this is the fellow doomed to the narrative.

if you haven’t already read pandemoniums lore i suggest doing that first:

sol is also a character in chesils backstory. heres her lore! not a requirement to read to understand but shes my baby:

LETS GET RIGHT INTO IT. I’ll quickly cover his life growing up. Chesil was born into the kingdom of Canema. Ill save Canema lore for another post but heres a quick description. A desert kingdom, located inside the ravines of sandstones cliffs. The ravines were lined with houses carved out from the sandstone, and lead into a crater in the middle. In the massive crater was were the kingdoms royal family and markets were found. Canema was relatively peaceful, apart from the monster problem. Inside these ravines were cave systems loaded with unpleasant creatures who would regularly attack the kingdom. This kingdom has very few magic users in it, the most magic Chesils ever seen is maybe a traveling wizard passing through. This is where Chesils family comes in, they were the kingdoms protectors and monster hunters. (whether or not it was ethical to invade an animals home then wipe them out when they tried to protect themselves is for you to decide.) They were widely famous and known throughout Canema. heres they r!!

First is Otto Mupfordian (biological dad) Winifred (Winnie) Mupfordian (biological sister) and Farrier Mupfordian (dad who married in)  . (chesils biological mom is not super relevant. one day ill make an indepth post on the family lore) Chesil was, well, a bit different from them. He was not your RAHHHHHH KILL DESTROY gym buff. If anything he was the opposite. He was incredibly shy and reserved, and would probably fall over if you asked him to hold a shield. He loved his family more than anything, and they loved him back, but it would be a lie to say he wasn’t living in their shadow. Being born into a famous family, it was a bit hard connecting with other people your age. They either expect you to be Just like your family, or only want to talk to you because they want to meet the legends themselves. Chesil lack of social skills made it hard enough, with all this piled on he tended to isolate himself. In the process of doing this, his family became his only support system. They were all he cared about. Chesil clearly did not inherit the monster hunter title, and turned to a more creative line of work. Doll making. Not children’s toys, but intricate detailed Display dolls. He was quite skillful at it too, and due to his family’s connections, he was able to find frequent commisioners. Ok. Time jump. Chesil is 20 years old. He’s not completely miserable per-say, but depressed and lonesome. At least he has his work and family, right? (incorrect buzzer sound) WRONG! Chesil has DEAD FAMILY SYNDROME. The Mupfordians were frequently invited to royal parties, and attended them accordingly. Chesil rarely joined along, parties were overstimulating and Not his thing. One night, his family went out to one. For reference, the Mupfordians lived on top of one of the cliffs, and had a path carved out for their carriage to travel down. Would be a shame if the path became unstable from wear. But haha im sure its fine. Chesil woke up the next morning to see his family had not returned yet. Not to concerning, maybe they got drunk, and decided to stay at an inn overnight. More time passes. No sight of them. Surely they would of sent a message by now if they planned to stay out longer. So chesil decided it was time to head into town an investigate. He didn’t make it very far. Following the road down, he noticed a part of it had fallen away. When he looked over the edge he saw something much worse, the carriage his family had taken to the party. And well. His Family. They did not survive the wreck. His entire world had fallen apart in the span of a few seconds. Chesil, who’s life revolved around his family, did not handle this very well at all. Sure people stopped by to pay their condolences, but he had no connection to any of them. This is where Pandemonium shows up.

Well. Kinda. Up until the week of their funeral, a strange pink cat kept appearing to Chesil. Only ever in the corner of his eye, and never for to long. He thought he was just going crazy. During his family’s funeral, he had a moment of Fuck. This is to much, I cant be here. I cant watch this. I cant do Any of this. I have nothing left. So. He planned to go home kill himself. Chesil snuck out of the funeral early and went home, and started on his note. (visuals for the audience. here is his room. he is writing the note at that desk above the bed.)

While writing the note, he once again saw the pink cat, appearing in his window. (like. INSIDE of the glass.) Instead of immediately disappearing this time, the cat started to move across the glass, and into another reflective surface in the room, and another, and another. Chesil confused and frustrated by this creature he had been haunted by for the past week, got up and chased him. He ran downstairs following this beast as he appeared in different surfaces, until the creature went inside his family’s blacksmith room. He hadn’t dared step foot in this room since they passed, it was to much of a reminder of everything they made. With a deep breath, Chesil stepped in. The cat was no longer in sight as he slowly walker through the room. He called out to the creature, to no avail.  When he made it to the end of the room, he noticed one of his family’s shield’s had fallen to the floor. This is where Pandemonium fully reveals himself in the reflection of the shield, and speaks for the first time. “You caught me!” He laughs, “Now its my turn to catch you.” And with that, it reaches a paw through the shield and grabs Chesil, pulling him inside. Erm. I never drew the room Pandemonium pulls chesil into, but I imagine it looks like this. but minus the walls and instead all these stained glass panels are floating in a black void.

Chesil finds himself at the top of the stained glass stair panels, and no cat to be seen. He calls out again, to once again be met with silence. Unsure of what to do, Chesil starts down the stairs, until he is at the round panel at the bottom.  (for the audience, i imagine pandemonium is on the under side of the glass panels, following chesil. heres UGLY OLD ART OF THAT. pretend theres a panel between them.)

This is where Pandemoniums walks to the right side up, and Chesil sees him Not in a reflective surface, but in his physical form. Chesil, who afore mentioned has little experience with magic, is Beyond confused, he questions the cat in a panicked tone, asking who he is. And finally the cat answers. He introduces himself as Chatté. (french word for cat. a simple and much less threatening name then Pandemonium.) Someone who is here to help Chesil! And maybe Chesil could help Him im return. Suddenly, the stained glass stairs start moving around them, and form into different shapes, so “Chatté” can share his story of Woe. (once again to the audience, the story im about to share is a Lie. Pandemonium made it up to trick Chesil. Its backstory didn’t change LOL.) He tells the tale of three wizards, who trapped him inside the mirror plane, which is why Chesil has only seen him through Reflections. Pandemonium desperately wants to be free again! And the only way he can do so is if the wizards are murdered. Then he brings Chesils family into the mix,  Proposing a deal. Three lives for three lives. I revive your family, and you go out and kill the wizards to free me in return. We both win! Just dont break the deal haha therewillbeconsquences ANYWAYS. Now Chesil isn’t the violent type, but this is his Only Chance. Its this, or go back and kill himself.  Begrudgingly he accepts. Pandemonium gives him a mirror, and says it will lead him to the location of the first wizard. Once that wizard is defeated, it will show the next, and so on so forth. Heres what the mirror looks like :33 but pretend those jesters chesils skipping around the middle are Pandemonium.

And poof. Chesil is shot back out of the shield, and everything is suddenly back to normal. His family is back in the house, acting like nothing ever happened. Yay! Well partial yay. Chesil now has the whole murder thing to deal with. He was made aware these fights wouldn’t be easy, and he should train himself in advance. Insert training montage here. He asks Winifred to teach him how to properly use a sword, and shes delighted to obviously. Like damn.. Chesils finally taking interest in fighting!!! During all this, Chesil gets a commission request from a theater actor to create a doll line of herself featuring the outfits shes preformed in. This is just like any other job Chesil has had, some random rich person wanting a doll of themselves. Nothing Suspicious Here. This actor goes by the name of Soleil. (YES. THE SOLEIL. erm i never made a proper design for an actor self but heres a small doodle.)

Sol presents herself as flamboyant and incredibly extroverted. She insists on having a close eye on Chesil’s creation process, finding it fascinating. Chesils used to people checking in, but Sol is definitely the most curious customer he’s ever had. Long story short, throughout the course of Chesil killing the first two wizards, they fall in love. (YURIII) Sol opens up to him more n more as he works on her dolls, and he realizes shes more than just Rich Actor! Shes actually just as insecure as he is, and she worries people only like her for the person she is on stage, her exuberant personality is more of an act than reality. they r shitty teen romance minus the teen part its just cheesy. Anyways keep this in mind, BACK TO THE HORRORS. first wizard battle! i actually have whole battle sequences written for each wizard but i am looking at the length of this already and have decided Ok maybe this can wait for another post. but in summary the wizard battles took place in arenas they created. Kinda like a soul gem in madoka where you get Pulled In. its jn an entirely different realm, so the battles themselves were pretty extravagant and had Crazy arenas. The first wizard Chesil had to kill was Etoile.

erm also heres chesils sword in detail btw. hes kills the wizards with This

The battle was successful and Chesil now has to live with that guilt forever. Yayyyyyyyyy. Onto the next victim. A wizard by the name of Lune

This time, Chesil meets him before seeing him in his wizards clothes. Because unfortunately enough, he was Etoiles husband. Lune comes to the Mupfordians after the disappearance of his husband, asking them for help. He had already been to the royal guards, but he knows the Mupfordians are the pro monster hunters, and hopes that they can keep an eye out for Etoile, in the unfortunate scenario where he may of um. Got eaten by a monster. Chesil is sweating his ASS OFF during all of this, amd seeing the consequences of his actions in real time reallyyyy take a blow on his sanity. To have to see this poor grieving husband knowing He Did it and that he was going to have to kill him Next. And the paranoia of getting caught by his Own family is now lingering over him. But haha. In to far now huh? So onwards into the next battle. Chesil fights Lune and wins. Chesils really starting to slip now. Turns out murder is taxiing. BUT IT GETS WORSE. The third wizard is revealed. Its none other than Soleil herself. The person Chesil has spent the past 6 months falling in love with. (bruh.. i have this whole thing in my mind where over the 6 months chesils craftsmenship of the soleil dolls hes been commisioned slowly gets worse n worse until she’s revealed to be the final wizard and chesil COMPLETELY breaks the doll. representative of his mental state throughout the story haha) Seeing her again after finding out is so. hard. Having to pretend everything’s normal when you know the shitstorm that is about to happen. Anyways Chesil invites Soleil out on a date. Somewhere farrrrr out, and the truth gets revealed. Commence Battle.

Unlike Lune and Etoiles battles, its not Super extra and or extravagant, its just Chesil and Soleil in an arena(tho the arena badass as fuck.), fighting with their weapons. Its much more personal and Real. Sol fights back, but is begging Chesil the entire time to stop. That maybe we can find another way. Chesil is fucking LOOSING IT BRO. And after Sol lands a nasty hit on him he Stops. He Cant Do This. He Cant Kill Her. Its To Much. Sol tries to reach out to help him up, but he instead runs off. He’s in a complete panicked state, and doesn’t know what to do. All thats going through his head is he needs to LEAVE. He needs to take his family and RUN. So he does just that. Chesil runs back home Bloody and fucked up from that battle, begging his family to get in the carriage, they are confused and incredibly concerned, but oblige. And down the hill they start, the whole scene is fast and frantic and before you know it the carriage crashes off into the same spot. Or at least it Almost does, as the carriage flys off the hill with everyone inside, it freezes in mid air. Except for Chesil, who slams down into the bottom.

omfg this art is soooo old and a bit outdated. pretend like he has a massive cut on his chest. but i drew this moment.  this whole scene makes me crazy the story Ends how it Began.  looping back to the original carriage crash, to show you cant ever really change fate. it’s Inevitable. Suddenly, the world starts falling apart around him. Like a stage set. Chesil is out of his mind running through this world being torn apart as he goes through it, until he curls himself up in a little ball shaking and sobbing. A familiar voice speaks and gentle paw rests on his own paw, it’s Winifred. She tells him its safe now. Its ok. Look at me. When Chesil retreats out of his shell and looks up at her, her warm smile twists into a cruel one, and the gentle grasp on his hand turns into a much harsher one, snapping back his fingers. Owie. Her whole body contorts as she turns into a much smaller form. A pink cat. Pandemonium. “Trying to run away, are we?” His voice echoes throughout the black emptiness that was once Canema. He laughs and goes on his little villain monologue.  Tsk tsk tsk. Breaking your deal, well, I guess I knew it was coming. It was designed this way after all. Chesil questions what he means by designed. And the true horror of this whole situation is revealed to him. The revived family he had been living with for 6 months? Fake. The wizards? Fake. Soleil…? Fake. Pandemonium had set him up, created a deal he Knew Chesil would fail. Soleil was planted from the beginning. But god, didn’t it make a thrilling story? Wonderful entertainment. You fell for All of it. A tragic love story, having to decide between his family and love. Epic battles. Almost getting caught. Your descent into insanity. It was perfect. But now its over, and you broke the deal by trying to run. It was all an illusion! In fact Chesil, you never left that chair while writing that stupid letter. It all started from the moment you ran down the hallway chasing me. Your body has been rotting in that seat for months. And now your soul is mine, Pandemonium explains. Before Chesil has anytime to process any of this, he is turned into another one of Pandemoniums puppets and shoved into his mind prison.

hehe YUP HIS MIND PRISON IS HIS ROOM. AND HES TIED DOWN TO THE CHAIR WITH VINES. reference to him never leaving the chair and the overgrowth from the plants in his room consuming him. kicks feet back n forth. Now hes spent the last 5 years in puppet hell. n well. Its a bad ending i know. But this is just his backstory Before our cnd campaign started. He was shoved into the party as his puppet self, and a few sessions in his curse was broken (MOST FUN REVEAL OF MY LIFE. NOBODY IN MY PARTY KNEW HE WAS A PUPPET They just thought he was some crazy clown guy. Turns out hes actually a WIMPY LOSER.) And now Chesil continues his story in the campaign, shoved into a prophecy. Not even I will know where his character will go. Shrugs. Hes currently having a joker arc right now for good reasons but i’ll keep you guys updated as the sessions continue....

OMFG THIS IS SO LONG AND I GENUINELY COULD OF MADE IT SO MUCH LONGER HAHA. I could say so much abt this story BUT I HOPE U LIKE IT ITS MY BABY

[blood-injections]

Thinking again about an au idea I had where. I saw a post about coming back wrong. But not wrong. Just changed. New. Coming back or well, being brought back, not wrong just as someone else. A blank slate but not quite just a new person with a sense that they are indeed someone, and that they just need to find out need to remember, but those who brought this person back cant accept that who they tried to bring back is gone and so theyre insiting this new person is and they just have amnesia or something and the new person is like no its different om dofferent stop insisting. And it has the 'trans kid at family gathering/reunion' effect and its like. 'Everyones calling me a name but thats not my name thats not me. Theyre insisting it is and that im this person but im not im someone else! Thats not my name im not the memory you know i am not who youre mourning stop calling me that name stop insisting that im this stranger. I am not the same person that was dear to you and i owe you nothing.'

And it gave me an idea. Where one of the fabulous four dies and is brought back. Specifically, because i thought it would hurt the most and also like, ghouls always the one being frankensteined i should shake it up a little. Kobra Kid dies and Party Poison can't accept that their little brother is dead. So they bring him back. But when he wakes up it isnt Kobra Kid in that body. Or maybe, it is, in the sense that who died was someone else, had a different name, and maybe in the future of this au this new person becomes kobra kid, thats who they discover they are, after they woke up in a strange world in a strange body that isn't theirs but also.. is. It feels right but the situations all feel wrong. They become kobra kid but it remains to be seen if this kobra kid is still party poison's brother.

Because party poison's brother is dead. And they tried bringing him back but now theres someone else in their little brothers body. And this someone else insists that theyre someone else and its betrayal and denial and longing on both sides and party poison is still grieving and is now being haunted by the ghost of their brother in the form of his body walking around all because they couldnt accept that he was gone. And now his bodys walking around perfectly fine but their brother is still dead and gone and they have to accept that somehow. And the new person, who im just gonna call Kobra, is anything but regretful of who they are now that they exist. They know theyre not who poison says and they want to go and find out who they are, remember who they are, but its awefully hard with everyone insisting that theyre someone else, someone they knew, someone thats gone. Poison especially, always breathing down kobras neck, and everyones calling kobra the wrong name, looking at him all sad or angry or with pity and he is just. Blameless. Hes someone else and he doesnt owe these people anything but theres also the internal struggle of, well technically they are the reason im here so i do owe them something, i owe them my life, dont i? Even if I was an accident?

So maybe for a while, they try. They try so hard to be the person these strangers say they are, they try to feel things, to remember things that just arent there. But it just doesnt happen, it never will, because hes someone new, hes not who these people are mourning. And pretending only hurts everyone in the room. He realizes this and leaves before hes too miserable, too guilty to not. Because these strangers still cant accept that hes not their friend anymore, and he realizes that he owes them nothing, so he leaves, to figure out who he actually is. And maybe, down the line, once Poison accepts that somethings happened, changed, and finally lets their brother rest, maybe they can get past the roadblock of but thats their brothers fucking body- well not anymore. Maybe both sides can settle with kobra being, 'well i cant be who you want me to be, i can only be myself, if you can accept that, i can accept your friendship, if you truly want mine, mine, who i am, not a ghosts '

And maybe it works out, and they become friends, the bad blood settles, the grief, it never leaves, but it rests. And eventually, maybe kobra even joins the crew, and in some small way, poison gets their brother back, they get their old brother back in the miracle of getting a new one, weirdness of it being the same body aside, because kobra is so different from the brother they lost that its hardly the same body to them anymore too, its just kobras body because at some point they stopped separating the body they brought back from the person it belongs to. And eventually, kobra may see poison as his brother, too, and its all come full circle even though everything has changed.

Just, transgender allegorys and major grief and angst and mourning but also healing and acceptance and finding oneself and family to found family back to just family again and ugh. Yeah. Me when the venom siblings, but not really, but still the venom siblings in the end. Maybe they dont call themselves the venom siblings/brothers until its PartyPoisonandTheKobraKid, because they're something new, and thats the bond they build, thats who they become. Brothers, the Venom Brothers. A brotherhood earned. Earned back, in a way, but also a brotherhood built from the ground up. If I ever write this its so over for you guys.

[toastedwrittenthoughts]

Episode 10.. Here we go....

Our girls here have a lot to sort through this coming week.. And I for one am honestly not prepared for it...

My first thought here was that they are in a church.. They got pews behind em, stain glass windows. Stopping a... rehearsal for the wedding (gagging)

I get the feeling that between these two right now is that Buddy is trying to convince Susan that this race isnt something she needs to do. I dont know about you guys but... Is it just me or do Buddy and Susan look like their dressed to kinda... match?

Susan no doubt gearing up and pre-glare putting on the jacket. Or taking it off. She'll see the Pink Ladies hyping up whoever is gonna race, my money's still on Olivia but if it's Cynthia or Jane I will be amused either way.

Regardless of how things go down for the race, who's behind the wheel, I would want both the T-Birds and the Soc's to have this look on their face if the race goes BAD. Like, grinding gears, tires screeching.

I am loving Jane's outfit right now. .. But I cant help but notice the fact that both Jane and Cynthia behind her both have their hands on their hips. I know when a challenge is being issued and the look here is kinda what I am getting.

Gil... Rag in hand (from what I am looking at) has been no doubt tending to his TBird for a race.

Ah, Dot. Im sticking with my first bet with her being Susan's flag girl for the race she has.

Either that's a 'good race' or an 'agreed' handshake over a deal of somesort. Dot looking so pleased with everything and Hazel looking like she could throw down right now.. Hazel, you good?

Still hoping that we get to see Zuko and Kenickie! They gotta be around here somewhere.. right?

I am going to say that Olivia is going to have a moment where she thinks about her life with the POS that is Mr. Daniels and it plays out in her head in a way that leaves her miserable and I am HOPING that since this is being shown in black and white that if Gil gets back into the picture, colour comes back in like Bewitched or something.

So good to see everyone together but... Um... I am going to point this out, Olivia but there are bows, lace and white. That, everybody is goddamn wedding dress if I ever saw one.

Side note or maybe I am just projecting... You see the guy to Nancy's right? If you look juuust above his shoulder... Im am PRAYING that THAT is Richie. It might just be some guy with the same hair but! LET ME HOPE!

Power to women! Ladies building up Hazel in perfect Pink Ladies fashion.

Gotta say, its hard to see the 'Shake Shack' and not hear 'your the one that I want'..

For this final episode, I dont have much to go on and can't speculate much when I have already said my piece in past posts..

All I will end on is that I am hoping for a second season.