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#unlcear why
catboyfurina · 2 years
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#beeep#sui ment#how do u want to be alove#how do u stop feeling like failing at dying was ur biggest mistake#its become pretty clear that im a coward and my I Can Escape This way idea is actually untrue#but i still like? want to#every time i see a post thats like heres how to want to be alive it lists a bunch of things i cant fucking do#eat good food ! go outside ! form human connection !!!#the last one is the most possible and yet. i am not the boss of other people. i cant say You. Connect.#and i hurt so much all the time and im unsure if the doctors like???? care?????#like maybe remission is i hurt all the time and can only have boiled chicken and plain crackers but its Fine because my organs arent#getting Holes#maybe its that#which is better than hurting all the time etc etc With holes but.#i dont want that to be my future#i dont want it to be my present#sleeping didnt fix me i just woke up still brainbad and now im also in more pain than before sleeping#unlcear why#i think the poblem with my mental health is that its actually not illogical to be miserable when everything hurts and you csnt do Shit#and the only people u see outside of the house are Doctors#i haye knowing that death is logically the right choice for me and that im too much a weenie#because then i have guilt on top of it!!! like !!! argh#anyway.#time to eeblog one million posts nobody cares about so they get used to scrolling past my url real fast#. the you connect is not about any one person btw. n especially not (redacted for privacy) the timing might seem bad -_-
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wackulart · 2 months
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Oh Rabbit, my precious little thing.
You don't have to be shy around me.
I know what you want, and you know what I want, so why don't we make ourselves comfortable instead, hm~?
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GRE
IIMMMMMMM
I DONT UHHH IM UNLCEAR ON INSTRUCTIONS AND ERM WOULD U LOOK ST THE TIME
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trisockatops · 10 hours
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Help! This is listed as one of the Pride flash options at Cheeky Monkey Tattoo this weekend. Unlcear to me why this is pride-themed? I also feel like I recognize the little character, maybe from some video game? Anyone know the potential reference here?
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soldier-poet-king · 4 years
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having not done a single piece of academic writing since march/april it is now A Struggle just to get out a 500 word little one pager - this is HELL and I’m being punished for my summertime sloth 
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asexualjedi · 5 years
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Just saw the most recent game of thrones and wow just wow
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distortingmirrors · 3 years
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//: About Mirror Man’s History! It’ll be under the read more cause might end up tweaking it here and there/rough draft. 
//: Right! So he’s mostly set before the Transmission tower started settling in/Maw/ all that. If anything during the start of it where everything didn’t become twisted. 
Kept a low profile but is mostly known for being that one guy who plays string instruments really well. Musician hired to be in the background of bands type of deal. With that, it’s possible to spot him in the background of few bands. Sure, he’s not social but it did mean he got paid and could just play music instead. 
Couldn’t really escape getting into/apart of the fights/trouble. Wither that be from being at the wrong place at the wrong place or just ended up being dragged into trouble. Hence why there’s a startling amount of scars on this guy. Tilts into why he was in front of mirrors more often then not. Want to look like he wasn’t apart of a brawl and look ok. 
The Mirrors took him around the time TV’s/Transmission started to really started to sink their roots into everything. Taking him under the belief that no one would notice him gone ( which they were right ) and since he was near mirrors so often it wasn’t difficult to get him. 
With being in the Mirrors/mixed/connected to them he’s up to date on what’s happening. Due to this he knows about the Loops and what happens in them. Though, he’s mostly stuck at the outsider of it. Can’t fully interact but stuck as a watcher of sorts.
By this point he can’t fully recall his past, Mirrors ended up messing with them. So sometimes there’s just, sprinkled in memories that are unlcear. 
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lillies-n-lilacs · 5 years
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never ending survey :: Thalia
rules: Repost, do not reblog. tag 10 blogs!
tagged by: @under-the-blood-moonlight ene
tagging: @thesinsofgreed @unkemptandtired @nhaamas-embrace @gildedandgolden @chammachamma @of-sea-and-forest @lydha-lran @qesh-rae @fox-den-xiv @kiara-nocturne
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BASICS.
FULL NAME: Thalia Dalamiq
NICKNAME: Thal, ‘Little Angel’
AGE:  29
BIRTHDAY: 2nd Sun of the 2nd Umbral Moon
ETHNIC GROUP: Au Ra/Xaela
NATIONALITY: Othardian
LANGUAGE/S: Common, Xaelic, Braille
SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Heterosexual
ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Heteromantic.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS:  Taken.
HOME TOWN / AREA:  The Azim Steppe
CURRENT HOME:  Firelink Shrine/Secret Morne Estate.
PROFESSION: Magic Researcher, Botanist, dabbles in hunts.
PHYSICAL.
HAIR: Short, dark blue and black.
EYES: Yellow ‘limbals’ and a deep orange.
FACE: Heart shaped
LIPS: Smooth, full.
COMPLEXION: Copper.
BLEMISHES: Slight freckling along the tops of the shoulders, tired eyes.
SCARS: Claw scars along either side of her waist, missing scales along the upper right thigh.
TATTOOS: None.
HEIGHT:  5′2″.
WEIGHT: 49kg/109lbs
BUILD: Flat chest, toned abdomen, and arms. Wider hips.
FEATURES: Dark green scales, long nails, similar green to the scales.
ALLERGIES: Dogs
USUAL HAIR STYLE:  ‘I just woke up’ or a braided band of hair, similar to a headband.
USUAL FACE LOOK : Far off/drifting.
USUAL CLOTHING:  Loose clothes, shorts, shirts that can get dirty. Pajamas.
PSYCHOLOGY.
FEAR/S: Losing her sight once more, being alone, losing Aleister, her friends, being useless.
ASPIRATION/S:  Gaining knowledge to help others, learning more magic.
POSITIVE TRAITS: Kind, patient, knowledgeable, selfless.
NEGATIVE TRAITS: Selfless, curious, trusting, tends to bait people.
TEMPERAMENT:  Sanguine
SOUL TYPE/S:   Scholar
ANIMALS:  A black cat, a fat ol’ puk, and a mammet rat.
VICE HABIT/S: Sacrificing sleep, recklessness.
FAITH: unclear Aleister Morne
GHOSTS?: Yes.
AFTERLIFE?: Yes.
REINCARNATION?:  .. Maybe.
POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Is unaware/doesn’t care.
EDUCATION LEVEL:  Self taught/home schooled.
FAMILY.
FATHER : Unknown, apparently an asshole.
MOTHERS : Suki Dalamiq
SIBLINGS : None/Unknown.
EXTENDED FAMILY: Aunt - Mari Dalamiq.
NAME MEANING/S: Blossom/Bloom
HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: Unknown to her.
FAVORITES.
BOOK:  Romance, Adventure, Horror
DEITY: unlcear
HOLIDAY:  All.. Of them? She’s never experienced them.
MONTH: February.
SEASON:  Autumn/Winter
PLACE: Garden. Aleister’s arms.
WEATHER: Starry night, clear skies.
SOUND / S: That broken guitar.
SCENT / S:  The sea.
TASTE / S:  Oranges, tea.
FEEL / S:  Scars, plush blankets.
ANIMAL / S:  Raveh, the black chocobo.
NUMBER: 2
COLORS: Blue, black, white, purple.
EXTRA.
TALENTS: Painting, dancing, singing.
BAD AT: Physical combat, drawing, knitting.
TURN ONS: Scars, confidence, being manhandled ( by One person ), dominance, that look of love in his eye, his smile.
TURN OFFS: Anyone else manhandling her, unkempt claws, having to trim said claws, clean your own damn claws Aleister I don’t want to touch your feet.
HOBBIES: Knitting, painting, gardening.
TROPES: The Damsel (In Distress), The Cinnamon Roll.
QUOTES : “You need to focus on yourself” “Really now?” “What have you done now?!”
MUN QUESTIONS.
Q1 :  If you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called,  what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          
A1 :  It would be a Thriller/Adventure, styled after her past and how she would have overcome it. It’d be called “Tomorrow”.
Q2 :  What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          
A2 :  Indie, acoustic, except in the thrilling/chilling portions where the score would become more sinister.
Q3 :  Why did you start writing this character?          
A3 : She came in 2013/14, and over the years, she’s morphed into this version. It was a character group based off of a friend’s original AU, but as time grew, so did she.
Q4 :   What first attracted you to this character?          
A4 : The freshness, a chance to write someone sweet.
Q5 :  Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.
A5 :  At the moment, she doesn’t have a way to travel like the others. She’s stuck to mundane tasks, but I’m working on it.
Q6 :  What do you have in common with your muse?          
A6 :   I put my biggest fear onto her and didn’t realize it lol. That’s about it though.
Q7 :   How does  your muse feel about  you?          
A7 :   “So ... Why did you make everyone around me die?! Why is my aunt back?! I hate you right now So Much.” *snickers* Without me there would be no you.
Q8 :  What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?        
A8 :  Everyone. She seems to attract the baddies, hence the damsel in distress.
Q9 :  What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?        
A9 : .. Anything, really. It could be a screenshot, a quote.
Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?          
A10 : About an hour because I did some quizzes. Had to do one for the tropes. lol
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johnlockficclub · 6 years
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Discussion recap -FINALLY
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First of all, congratulations to @ewebie on her degree, or as they called it “head bonking!”
FINALLY in the slowest of slow burns, we finally have our first kiss. We’re still waiting for Sherlock to call Mycroft though....
What to do when your OTP finally kisses.
“They made out in public. It did feel like it was the right time there though” @ewebie
“I like how afterwards they decided not to have sex because they've been taking it slow. I was like, no shit you've been taking it slow.” @sherlock-nanowrimo
They went on more dates! How romantic!
“Sherlock putting his mouth on the spot where John''s lips had been” “And when he finally did ask him. “John agreed before Sherlock had even finished his sentence. He pushed his chair back so fast the legs skidded on the floor” These two are frickin adorable.“ @sherlock-nanowrimo
“Apologies, and this is random-but how much do i love Sherlock having a kitchen opened JUST for their lunch” @almosttomorocco
“There was another nod to canon this week, tho I don't know if it was written before or after s3. “He was freshly shaven, so he'd been at home when he'd received Sherlock's text.” John shaved for Sherlock.“ @sherlock-nanowrimo
“Also, John renting a really nice tux for the party but wearing that green hoodie jacket over it?” @yorkiepug
“No, but speaking of the tux. “Sherlock was already trying to come up with scenarios for getting the jacket off so he could have a look at John's arse.” Sherlock has his priorities straight.” @sherlock-nanowrimo
“@sherlock-nanowrimo​ he kept hoping John would lift his arms so he could see it” @yorkiepug
“@ewebie​ I'm trying to remember, did this fic have a "sliver of skin" moment...” @yorkiepug
“It did. A triangle of fur..” @sherlock-nanowrimo
Molly got added to the madness
“Incidentally - and I don't know exactly when this happened because I read it all in one lump - I love how Molly's implicitly gone from crushing on Sherlock and awkwardly trying to get his attention directly to being a supportive friend once she's had it gently explained to her(by John) that he's gay. There's no apparent resentment in there. No suggestion that if she can't have him that way, she doesn't want anything to do with him at all. Not even, as far as I can see, any period where she's cool and distant while she sorts her emotional state out and figures out where she stands with him - just "He's gay? Guess I'll stop barking up that tree, then. I wonder if he needs any help with the show." @Mazz06tea6
“Gawd OMG Sherlock's Jealousy™ when John was talking to Molly tho” @inevitably-johnlocked
Much ado do about Jim Moriarty
“Jim is 10lbs of crazy in a 5lbs bag here“ @ewebie
“I love Jim in this story. He's really so out there. He must be a terrifying teacher. More than Sherlock. Imagine him cackling in front of the class as he makes fun of a student.“ @elwinglyre
“@sherlock-nanowrimo​ maybe I was too concerned about them kissing, but I'm still unlcear on moritarty and sherlock's past: @yorkiepug
“Interviewer: And why would you make a good teacher Jim: I like destroying people's hopes and dreams Interviewer: ... ok.
I'm now trying to picture dodgeball at Moriarty's school” @ewebie
“I would love to listen to Lestrade on the phone to the other head of school like... So... your whole 2nd form was just in brawl here on our school property: @ewebie
“Yeah, Moriarty's kids. Going to visit BAker Street so they can see how much better they have it. “Look at the plebes, children.”" @sherlock-nanowrimo
“The Nativity cannon is that Lestrade's school is the working class school and Moriarty's school is the private prep school” @ewebie
We feel like we learned a little more about these characters
“We got some more glimpses of Sherlock's past, with his family. He had to deal with his family being disappointed in him, with competing against Moriarty and losing, Moran's awful review of his former play. He's just very insecure and afraid of being hurt. “Sherlock began, trying to think of a way of putting it so that John would feel needed without making it sound as if Sherlock actually needed any help.” @sherlock-nanowrimo
“I am additionally frustrated with Sherlock for not just calling Mycroft, but I totally understand why he hasn't” @Mazz06tea6
“John immediately sees something in Sherlock in this story. He sees him through these rose colored glasses. He views the best in every person at the school for the most part too. The kids pick up on his attitude. It's interesting that he's not the grumpy gus he often is portrayed.” @elwinglyre
“And we know without hearing his thoughts that John is going through the same thing - insecure about his place in this world.
But I don't think he's as afraid of being hurt as Sherlock is, so that's why he keeps approaching instead of backing away the way Sherlock is.” @sherlock-nanowrimo
“He;s like, "John wrote a love song for me? how ridiculous!" *leans against wall with butterflies in stomach.  Oh man, I just realized how canon that is. John is a writer, writing about Sherlock. So of course here it would be songs.” @sherlock-nanowrimo
“John is a romantic“ @yorkiepug
"John is a romantic." Sherlock says romantically” @ewebie
“@Yorkiepug we're not going to boink... because we're taking it slow. But let's move in together” @ewebie
And finally....
“Cuz Martin Dancing in the actual film is adorbs” @almosttomorocco
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carrion-carry-on · 4 years
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Whumptober 2020 (Let’s Hang Out Sometime) - Shackled and Hanging
Kale Badri | SK-1132 [Star Wars OFC (mentions of a second)]
I ain’t done this in a long time, so y’all give me some slack, right? Lessee if I can still do this.
Edit: Oh yeah, check out these dudes: @whumptober2020
Warnings: Blood, torture, PTSD, xenophobia
Kale Badri, formerly SK-1132, has patterns for nearly everything she does. It makes life that much simpler. Less to worry about, little to occupy her mind, allowing her to focus properly. But perhaps such habits are potentially as debilitating as they are useful. It all depends on circumstance. Now, waking to an unknown room and surrounded by unpleasant, leering faces, Kale’s mind is reeling.
What had she done, or failed to do, to end up like this? Was there some kind of warning she hadn’t caught? Why are they upside down? And why does her head hurt?
Answers to the latter most questions become clear together. Or, rather, clear through just how unlcear her mind is. It feels like she’d been tied to the back of a gualaar-drawn cart and her head slammed against every rock on an uphill gallop.
Kale realizes, belatedly, that it is she who’s upside down. That, at least, explains why her head is aching so. She wants to ask the blurring faces what they want, but that entails talking. Just the thought causes her lips to curl into a grimace. Even now, the artificial vocoder nests uncomfortably at the front of her throat, peering out through ropey scars. The metal is still unnatural, years of its presence having done little to whet her disdain for the device.
One of the numerous blurred presences reaches forward a three-fingered, clawed hand, abruptly yanking Kale from her pain-hazed stupor. She glares as best she can, but there’s the feeling of helplessness sinking into her stomach. Hanging upside down, arms shackled behind her back, head concussed, there is no chance of fighting back. The hand is cold and scaly. Feeling it against her warm cheek fills her with disgust. The alien says something in a language she does not know. Kale endeavors to tilt her face away from the grasping hand. She does not succeed.
The other hand comes into her view, along with the owner. They have a beige-colored, scaled hide and piercing red eyes. Their snout is blunted, but filled with needle-sharp teeth. Two nostrils flare simultaneously to drink in her scent. Heavily ridged brows stiffen and draw slightly together, giving an impression of interest. The ridges follow into a blunted crown of backward-pointing horns. Eve with her stunted knowledge of mid- and outer-rim species, Kale recognized the being. Trandoshan.
They spoke again, hissing and screeching, and turned to chatter at the surrounding group. Kale still had no way of knowing what was said, but judging by the backwards shuffling, she guessed they wanted space.
Sharp claws rake through her black, windswept hair in a manner she might have described as reverent, were such creatures capable of feeling such.
Suddenly, she could hear Ruse Get’al in her mind. It was the same chastisement she’d heard time and again after joining the Mandalorian’s crew. Kale, remember, there are stereotypes and there are exceptions. Some are correct, some are anything but. Alright, so perhaps the lizards are capable of something akin to reverence, but she still find the thought repugnant.
The left hand stays curled in her short hair whilst the right moves to her face. It traces strange patterns along her cheek, pricking the tanned skin and drawing droplets of blood. Red eyes meet deep-set, dark brown. Kale hisses in a breath through clenched teeth. The same right hand travels upward to the vocoder she’d so often cursed. A lance of fear struck through Kale, chilling her veins, when the hand gripped - hard. The left joined the right, resting steadily on her neck.
Kale felt a claw sink slowly into her flesh. With great precision she wouldn’t think possible, it drew towards her chin, easily sliding through vulnerable tissue. Try as she did, Kale couldn’t hold back a strangled cry of pain. It’s worse than first having her throat sliced in ambush all that time ago. The sound is ugly, laced with static and spittle. Her blood is warm as the rivulets split around her chin and dribble into her ears.
There is the loud, thumping rhythm of a heart infected with adrenaline, yet having nothing to do. There is no way to ease the pain she feels, no escape. The rest are watching her, and watching the Trandoshan. Kark stereotypes and kark exceptions - if Kale escapes with her life, she’s going to hunt down and mangle every. Single. One.
Unpleasant, worse than the initial cuts, is the tugging that follows. Agonizingly slow, the vocoder is slipped free of her flesh. She doesn’t know why this is happening, cannot understand what the damned lizard is saying, all she knows is it hurts. The fresh slice runs perpendicular to the old scars. It had cut through those, too, as simple as a vibroblade through armor.
Now, without a voice, Kale realizes she wants more than ever to be able to scream. She wants to shout at them to stop, beg, even. Her pride is hurt, but her body is hurting worse. Being divorced from her words, she has a renewed sense that she cannot live without a voice. The sounds which tear from her gaping mouth aren’t even human anymore. She doesn’t know what they are.
Help, Kale thinks, screams to no one. Help! Help me, please!
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theetonatheist · 7 years
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Why did Polidori want to fight Percy Shelley?
Jealousy, supposedly. APPARENTLY, Shelley had beaten Polidori in a sailing race. So while they were on the lake he challenged Shelley, which Byron & Shelley supposedly laughed at. The “challenge” is unlcear: a duel? A fight? Sailing again? I don’t know. Polidori is vague, and called it a quarrel. But Byron responded: “Recollect that, though Shelley has some scruples about duelling, I have none and shall at all times be ready to take his place.” But! It is all unclear. While searching for the quote in the diary though I was reminded that Byron got angry Polidori smacked his knee with an oar, which is hilarious to me.
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