#and maybe she searches this home of hers out in the fade on purpose after a while

[thebookworm0001]

Thinking about my domestic dream solavellan wip again

[animationnut]

Life's Purpose

Day 6: Pets

Ao3 link here!

...

After the Flynn-Fletcher kids discovered Perry was a secret agent, they spent the first week charging into activities with their platypus with explosive enthusiasm. They ate meals together in shadowy corners of restaurants, with Perry insisting Candace pay for the food with his credit card. They played board games until midnight, laughing and bickering, until Linda banged on Phineas and Ferb’s bedroom door and told them to go to bed. Phineas and Ferb built Perry a collar that would translate his sounds into English with a flip of a dial, and Candace didn’t even think about busting them.

But when the bliss faded away at the edges, some thoughts occurred to the kids. Candace winced as she recalled all the mean things she spat at Perry, and for a childhood of shoving him into sparkly doll dresses. Ferb considered that perhaps Perry wasn’t the most comfortable whenever he would drag the platypus across the lawn to chase a ball Phineas had thrown. Phineas worried about all the times he lugged Perry around like a sack of flour.

While Perry was out on his mission, Candace, Phineas, and Ferb clustered on the couch, Phineas holding a notebook and pen, and started brainstorming ideas to make Perry’s life more comfortable. “I know he’s a platypus, but he clearly enjoys human food,” Phineas spoke. “So what can we make him for meals?”

“Hmm, we could do up some salads, sandwiches, crackers, cheese and deli meat,” said Candace thoughtfully. “Easy meals to prep that won’t make Mom suspicious.”

Phineas wrote them down. “Great! We can probably clear out his toys.” His smile faltered, and Ferb set a hand on his shoulder. “I hope he didn’t hate playing fetch or tug of war with us too much.”

“We can get him some nice body wash for his baths,” suggested Ferb. “Instead of the pet soap.”

Candace nodded. “That’s a good idea. That stuff is nasty.”

“Oh, his own pillow and blanket,” said Phineas.

There was a stretch of silence as they stared at the lined paper, trying to think of more things they could do for Perry. “Maybe a cushion for the car?” voiced Candace. “So he doesn’t have to sit in someone’s lap?”

“And we can put the cage in the basement,” said Phineas with a nod. “Definitely don’t need that. Oh, man, I feel bad for all the times we put him in there.”

His eyes were downcast. Candace frowned. “Yeah, it was probably like a jail. But we had no idea he was more than just a platypus.”

“Well, now that we know, we’re gonna make sure we give him everything he needs.” Phineas’ eyes glinted with determination. “C’mon, guys, let’s keep thinking.”

When Perry arrived home from his mission, the first thing he did, and the first thing he’d always done since being adopted by the Flynn-Fletchers, was to go in search of his kids. He found them in the boys’ room, hunched over a notebook, with Phineas twirling a pen between his fingers.

He gave a curious chatter, and three heads turned to face him. “Oh, there you are, Perry!” Phineas said cheerfully.

He and Ferb slipped off of Phineas’ bed and ran to give Perry a hug. He squeezed them tight, a sensation he would never ever get sick of, and padded after them to rejoin Candace. She reached out with outstretched fingers, but she paused just before scratching his head. She bumped his shoulder with her fist instead. “Hi, Perry. How was the mission?”

He gave a thumbs-up. It was an average run of the mill fight with Doofenshmirtz. He pointed at the notebook his kids had been so focussed on, and Phineas slid it over to him. “Let us know if we’re missing anything.”

What Perry Needs

Real food – make him salads, sandwiches, snack trays, etc.

Blanket and pillow

No cage – apologize for making him go in it

No toys – donate to animal shelter

Stop calling Perry meatbrick, loser, etc.

Cushion for car

Body wash

Get rid of pictures where I forced him into dresses

Ask to carry him or pet him

Appalled by the list his kids had created, Perry immediately tore it up into tiny pieces. “Hey!” said Candace in surprise. “What was that for?”

Perry grabbed the notebook and pen from Phineas and started writing furiously. Phineas peered at his siblings in bewilderment, but they just shrugged in response.

Tossing the pen over his shoulder, Perry held out the list he had created and tapped it forcefully. Phineas, Ferb, and Candace leaned forwards so they could read it.

What Perry Needs

His family

I’m a platypus. I love human food, but bugs are also very delicious

Candace’s bed, Phineas’ bed, Ferb’s bed

The perfectly good cage lined with comfy blankets that was my safe space when I was a pup

Do not touch my toys, you bought them for me, no other animal can have them. I especially like the squeaky hamburger. It is very satisfying

You better keep calling me a meatbrick and loser. That’s how I know you love me, you brat

I don’t need a cushion, I need a lap

Body wash does sound nice

Don’t touch the pictures

You never ever have to ask to carry me or pet me

Phineas’ dark blue eyes welled with tears. “So you didn’t hate it when we played fetch with you or carried you around?” he asked hopefully, his voice hitching slightly.

Perry wrapped his arms around Phineas’ torso, and the boy buried his face against Perry’s warm fur. He turned on the dial on his new collar. Though he preferred communicating without it, he wanted to make he got his message across loud and clear.

“Not once, not ever, have you annoyed me or bothered me,” said Perry fiercely.

“But you’re so smart, and we treated you like a normal pet,” said Candace, picking at a loose thread on Phineas’ blanket. “Didn’t that, like, humiliate you?”

“No!” said Perry, horrified. He eased back from Phineas and looked between his kids urgently. “Where is all of this coming from? Of course it didn’t humiliate me. I am a pet. I’m YOUR pet. Every second spent with you has made my life worth living.”

Phineas beamed. Ferb itched at a spot just below his eyes. Candace sniffled. “Aw, Perry.”

“That’s meatbrick to you,” said Perry lightly. “And I don’t know about you, but that fist bump thing earlier was weird.”

“It was,” agreed Candace, scratching Perry’s head, giggling when he purred.

“I suppose we’ve been overthinking things,” mused Ferb.

Phineas rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess we started worrying that because you’re a super cool secret agent, you might not always have liked being treated like a pet.”

Perry raised a finger, eyes narrowing. “Being a secret agent is my job. Being your pet? Like I said, that’s my life. I can live without my job. I can’t live without being your pet.”

He opened his arms wide, and the kids gathered him up in a group hug. Their arms squished against his body and it was perfect. Candace nuzzled her nose against his side, Ferb rested his forehead against his temple, and Phineas tucked his chin against the top of Perry’s head.

“I love you,” said Perry, his voice surging with emotion. Never in a million years could he express just how much he loved them, but he would have to settle with the most important phrase in existence.

“We love you too,” murmured Phineas.

“You said the body wash sounded nice, right?” said Candace. “Let’s go get some. It’s gotta make you smell nicer, you little meatbrick.”

Perry looked at her with twinkling eyes. He squeezed her nose teasingly before switching off the dial on his collar. He gave an enthusiastic nod and gave a happy rumble when Ferb scooped him up into his arms.

Defeating evil was important, sure. But being the pet of Phineas, Ferb, and Candace? That was his life’s purpose.

[rubiedmoon]

A Knight's Distance

There she was again. Moving through the lower town with that quiet purpose of hers. 

It was always the same: a basket in the crook of her arm, sleeves pushed past her elbows, a stubborn wisp of hair falling into her eyes that she never quite managed to keep pinned. And somehow, without ever glancing at Gaius’s list, she remembered everything—every name, every ailment, every blend of tonic and tincture that needed delivering.

I watched her from the edge of the market square, lingering near the blacksmith’s stall under the guise of buying a new blade oil. Truth be told, I wasn’t in need of anything. Except perhaps… her.

She didn’t notice me—not yet. She was too focused. Her gaze sharp, but kind. Intent on her task, but never so much that she couldn’t stop and ask a child how their cough was faring, or a bent old man if he needed help walking home.

She made it look easy. Like she belonged. Like the weight of Camelot never touched her.

I envied that about her.

And yet… I loved her for it, too.

I didn’t dare speak of it—not to Merlin, not to Gwaine, and certainly not to her. What could I say? That the knight with a fate soaked in blood and prophecy had fallen for the healer’s apprentice with wildflowers in her hair and earth beneath her fingernails?

I was not meant for soft things. Not anymore.

Still… I followed.

At a distance, always. Just close enough to see her smile when someone thanked her. Close enough to hear her hum sometimes, soft and distracted, like the world hadn’t broken yet. Maybe for her, it hadn’t.

She turned the corner by the baker’s shop, heading toward the last cottage on the lane—Martha’s, I think the older woman’s name was. Old widow. Bad joints. Gaius had brewed a poppy elixir for her two days ago.

YN didn’t knock. She never needed to. People trusted her. They let her in.

I leaned against the sun-warmed stone of the wall, waiting for her to emerge. When she finally stepped out again, I didn’t have time to move before her eyes locked with mine.

Damn.

I straightened too quickly, too stiff, trying not to look like I’d been following her like some lost hound. Her brows lifted slightly, not in suspicion—never that—but in quiet amusement.

“Mordred,” she greeted, brushing her palms on the front of her skirt. “Come to help, or just lurking?”

I blinked. “Neither. I… was just passing through.”

A half-smile pulled at her lips. “Right. You’ve passed through every route I’ve walked today.”

Caught.

Heat crept to my face faster than I could temper it. “You noticed.”

“I always notice.” Her voice was soft now. Not teasing—gentle. Understanding. “You could walk with me, you know. I wouldn’t mind.”

I hesitated. “Are you sure?”

YN tilted her head toward the road. “I have just a few more deliveries. The company would be greatly appreciated. You can even carry the basket.”

I moved beside her, careful to match her pace. When I reached for the basket, our hands touched, and she didn’t pull away.

Neither did I.

The basket was heavier than it looked—laden with small jars, cloth-wrapped parcels, sprigs of dried herbs. I took it gladly. Anything to be of use. Anything to stay near her a little longer.

We walked in step down the dusty lane, the bustle of the market fading behind us. The rhythm of her stride was easy, unhurried, as though time bent a little differently when she moved through the world.

For a while, we didn’t speak. The silence between us wasn’t awkward. If anything, it felt… comfortable. Like words weren’t needed when the air was warm and the sun played in her hair.

YN broke the quiet first, glancing at me sidelong. “You always watch from a distance. Why is that?”

There was no accusation in her tone. Only curiosity. And kindness. Always kindness.

I shifted my grip on the basket, searching for words that wouldn’t sound foolish. “I didn’t want to intrude.”

“You wouldn’t,” she said simply. Then, after a pause: “But that’s not the real reason.”

She was sharper than most would guess. Sharper than I gave her credit for.

I drew a breath. “I… don’t always know how to be. Not here. Not with…” I trailed off, unable to finish.

Her gaze flicked toward me again, softer now. “With someone who doesn’t wear a sword on their hip or one that does not wield the same power as say of you and Merlin?”

I gave a short laugh. “Perhaps.”

“You don’t always have to play the part of a knight, Mordred,” she said quietly. “Not with me at least.”

Those words settled into something deep inside me—an ache, and a longing I barely understood.

We turned down another path, this one quieter still. The stone cottages gave way to small gardens, trailing vines, and the low hum of bees. Ahead, an old man waited on a bench beneath a crooked tree.

YN called a warm greeting as we neared. I watched her kneel before him, check the wraps at his knees, offer gentle reassurance with a touch to his arm. She left him with a vial of tonic and a promise to return soon.

I could only stand back and marvel. For all my skill with blade and shield, it was her hands that truly healed.

When she rose again, we resumed our walk. This time, her shoulder brushed mine—an easy, familiar thing.

And for once, I let myself hope.

“You asked why I watch,” I said quietly. “It’s because… when I look at you, the world feels lighter. And I forget, for a moment, what I am supposed to be.”

YN stopped. Turned fully to face me. Her eyes, bright as the sky above, searched mine with a look that made it hard to breathe.

“You are you, Mordred,” she said softly. “That’s all you should ever need to be.”

The weight of the basket in my hand was forgotten. The noise of the town faded to nothing.

In that moment, with her standing so close, I wanted—more than anything—to believe her.

[creamypudding]

The Priest and the Porn Star: Chapter 21

Rated: Explicit Ship: Axel/Roxas Summary: Running away from your problems isn’t always the best solution… but sometimes, it is. Roxas is looking for a new start in life. A hot priest was not what he expected.

Chapter 21: Chasing The Dream Lea does some soul searching.

Lea hears the confessional door open and shut. He hears the pelting footsteps echo around the church and fade to silence. He stares ahead of himself, paralyzed. The long-absent, but still very familiar strain in his pants makes him not want to move. Not until he’s calmed down. But he desperately wants to run after Roxas. Explain himself. Apologize. Kiss him. Oh, Lord, how he wants to kiss every part of Roxas. “Father Lea,” a voice says from the other side of the lattice screen. Lea jumps. “Y-yes, my child?” “Is everything alright. I saw a man run out.” “Everything is fine. Thank you for showing kindness and concern. What are your sins you wish to confess?” The woman starts talking. Lea can’t concentrate. He’s replaying Roxas’ confession in his head. Lea had fully intended to announce himself. Like ‘Surprise! I came back early. We can hang out if you’d like!’ But Roxas sounded so serious and nervous. The least Lea thought he could do was give him space to unburden himself and then hang out after. He still wants to hang out after. Even more so than before. But he doesn’t know what to do. Maybe listen to Beatrice, who is talking about purposefully having burnt a roast she was meant to bring to her sister's luncheon because she felt spiteful. Lea sucks it up but counts the minutes until he can get out of there. When he finally does escape the clutches of the confessional too much time has passed to run after Roxas. He’s long gone. Home? Should he go to Roxas’ home? And say what exactly? What is there to say when having been privy to a most intimate, and most definitely not intended for his ears, confession? An apology? Would that be enough? Lea automatically goes into caretaker mode, cleaning the church. It helps him to think. He should have interrupted. Should have announced himself. But Roxas had asked him not to speak. But Roxas would have wanted to know whom he was speaking to. But the sacrament of penance is a conversation between the person and God—Lea is but a vessel to connect with God, so it never matters who is listening—him or Father Ansem. It’s all the same. But clearly not all the same to Roxas. Not all the same to Lea either. His heart’s still hammering and aflutter with the knowledge that came to light as he snuffs out the candles and straightens some of the pews.  He is convinced that God wanted him home early to hear this. For what purpose though? Is this another test of his faith and devotion? Lea’s on shaky ground with it. He can feel that. He burned with desire to be back and see Roxas as soon as possible. God granted him this grace. But it’s all kind of blown up in his face.    Will Roxas ever want to make eye contact with him again? Is Roxas going to do as he said and watch porn after what went down at church? Lea somehow doesn't think so. And that saddens him. Saddens him for Roxas' sake. The thought of Roxas feeling humiliated and ashamed hurts. He wants to take Roxas' pain away. Wants to soothe him… with words… with his body. Christ, Lea would throw this all away to be with Roxas. He wants to be with him so badly. In the carnal way.

Keep reading on A03

[taixuandream]

[WAVE POOL]　/　"it's rather like walking on a moving road, if you can imagine," she explains, attention staying focused on the unsteady surface beneath her feet. to most others, it's a sight that deceives the eyes: limpid waters roiling in rhythmic tosses——solid? yet solid they are to her step ; obedient they are, a star-touched sparkle rising where sole meets wave in a soft ripple as though the water were tamed enough to crystallize just where it kisses her shoe and no other, liquid translucent again the moment her step departs.

like this, she skips and strides over wavetip after wavetip——at times broadly with thespian purpose, at times a dainty touch, fairy-light, at times with an effortless twirl to right her balance. each unruly peak is a dance partner, made smooth and cooperative by her movements, the way she anticipates each predestined beat and places her foot just so to complement it, before spinning into the next one that seeks her attention.

at some point she had begun to hum, an orchestral little melody keeping time, losing herself for a handful of seconds——five, maybe, or a little more——in the swish and sway, the give and take.

until, as the waves finally begin to ebb and cease, she comes to an elegant, looping finish at the center of the pool, sloshing waters calming where they teeter around her. it's not quite a dance ; there were no steps, no choreography, but still she hangs one arm low across her chest in a bow, and smiles again as she straightens. "it would be easy to teach you, if only you could walk on water too. i'm sure you'd have no trouble grasping the basics."

Though glaring issues present with each step her companion took, inhibitions became lost in her elegance, ever-shifting upon artificial tides. For one that seemed impossibly conscious of each twitch her body made, such a brilliant display of her powers and skill could not find purchase to shackle her. If the gazes she drew could not follow her to the dancefloor of the waves and stars scattering amongst constant motion, then not even the abyss could fade her light. Days without regret, unforgettable and unfinished.

Fantastical power could erupt from the Phoenix on a whim, purely by willing it into existence. 50,000 years of combat entrenched into every muscle, from breaths drawn in to the bend of a finger, the tempo of a very different theater could not match the pace Furina thrived in.

Yet it is watching the Archon now that it would dawn upon her. Her search for the lost and the damned led her countless steps from home, yet she had learned nothing in the shadow that loomed. Losing herself just to find Fu Hua again. So many paces from whence she had come, with too many more to reach her destination. A lesson learnt once but forgotten all the same. Whether in the shape of a songbird or a droplet, there was more than the obsession of the past. "Furina," she calls out, walking along the side of the pool, concern tugging at pursed lips.

"Furina!" Finally, as the woman came to bow, a simple applause, though it seemed only she had appreciation for hijacking the main attraction. "I can't walk on water, but why don't you teach me how to do that on what I can walk on," she hollers. It's as if she is talking to Sentience without the irritation that came with. A beckoning motion to hopefully get her back on land. "You've quite the flair for performance. I can see how you infatuated your fan when they were more common," a look over her shoulder, the gala's lights emanating bright. "I'm not the best dancer but... I'm willing to learn, if you'd have me?" A gloved hand extends, face still conveying that inkling of uncertainty.

[aerospectrum]

Dean recognized the back to the driver, feet shoved against the door like an attempt at escape. He just didn’t know what he’d done wrong, or said wrong.

But when Madison began to admit, Dean felt his own face warm up in uncertainty and somewhat awkward confusion. He got the hiding up against the door move after that. He let her get it out though, he didn’t want her to think he was silently judging her so he kept his eyes on the road; the gears in his head trying to think of someway to soften the blow of now knowing Zach’s size and her difficulty to adjust to him. That wasn’t the time for jokes though so he didn’t try to think of anything witty on the fly. She deserved to say her piece without him trying to make light of a sensitive issue.

selfishly though he felt a bit defensive of her- annoyed that this guy really had the balls to argue with her about their sex life while packing little to no heat— and being a total douche about it while fucking others the entire time. God he wanted to beat this guys ass all over again. Part of him started considering making Cas lose his shit so he could go get back at the guy for good that time- Cas was always down for a good brawl even if it ended with him getting hurt in the process, but then Dean remembered that he’d already broken Madison’s rules twice- a third would just be insulting. To both her and Cas…

He let her agreement to a treat linger for a few seconds longer and then spoke up. “At the risk of sounding stupid or insensitive, Madison, I don’t think you deserved to be cheated on just because you had a hard time… I get it was a… a physical thing but if I knew the guy I was with was a real piece of shit I’d have a hard time just emotionally letting him in-

I could see it becoming worse when things would turn physical. I wouldn’t want to do anything that didn’t feel good to me either. I don’t… I don’t know, I just, I don’t want you to think you’ve gotta be ashamed that things didn’t go smooth in the bedroom with him. The guy was a prick- a massive prick with a little…” he trailed off, knowing he was getting a bit worked up with anger about the guy all over again and he didn’t need to be vulgar about him. Not to Madison anyway- he’d so tell Castiel though. Maybe.

“you don’t have to sit there like some good little school girl, you know? You could come snoop, see if there’s anything you like in here or want me to make sure I bring to your place.” Dean offered Madison suggestively, peering back over his shoulder to see how she sat so carefully so that he wouldn’t get any free peeps. Still a tease, he decided. He laughed at first and shrugged when she asked.

“What do you want me to leave at your place?” He looked through some jeans and grabbed a few pairs of socks and underwear- you could never go wrong have fresh underwear… “I’ll push the cart, but only if you agree to not get anymore shower gnomes that stare at my dbody.” He felt himself slip into the word, not wanting to be quite as forward as his mind kept taunting him to be with her. “And I’m not joking about that either- that things eyes followed me every time I moved I swear.” He searched through shirts and decided on just a pair of light wash jeans and a faded black t shirt for their home goods extravaganza.

“I’ve gotta change outta these duds; feel free to look around if you want, but don’t take anything unless you really need it.” He joked, heading to the bathroom to change everything and purposely giving her some time to look if she wanted before he announced his return with a “tada.” And arms out at his sides to mimic her display of her outfit earlier for him.

Madison could only grumble as Dean tried to lighten the situation. He was right about one thing, the condoms did protect her from whatever dick ridden sickness he might have had. Thankfully, it was HIM who insisted on wearing them…. That was just about the only thing she could appreciate about him.

Madison hadn’t said a word the whole way to the car. Her cheeks just stayed red & she looked ahead until Dean offered her an olive branch. “It’s not the condoms that I’m embarrassed about.” This conversation was not one she anticipated happening, atleast not so soon. Or ever, if that.

“I’m just… ashamed I guess. I don’t know what’s wrong w/ me,” she leaned her head against the window & shifted her body so her knees were pointed away from Dean. A classic move women did when they were upset w/ the driver. Only she wasn’t upset, she was embarrassed. “It never feels right… I want to enjoy it. But I can’t. He wasn’t even that big & I had a hard time taking it.” Her hand came up to shield her eyes. “Then we would fight…. It’s no wonder he went & cheated on me. Who wants to be w/ a girl who taps at 4 inches?”

Deans offer to buy he a treat made he crack a smile. What was she, a child? One he could promise a treat to & everything would be al better???

Well he was right.

“Okay…” she said softly.

When they arrived back at deans place Madison followed Dean inside his home & all the way to his bedroom. Just because she had a struggling sex life didn’t mean she wasn’t constantly horny. Madison sat on deans bed sitting crisscrossed folding her hands in her lap so Dean couldn’t peak up her skirt. If he wanted to see anything… he could ask.

What about her? Would she ask? No… she was a brat. So she was sitting on his bed, smiling as she waited for him to strip.

“What are you gonna leave at my place?” She asked curiously. “Maybe some shirts?” Ones that she would steal & wear for herself.

“I wanna go to homegoods first. I wanna buy cute comfortable stuff. Oh, & you have to push the basket, I need both hands to look at things.”

[variantia]

HEADCANON. / LAPIS HĂIYÁNG — "RIPTIDE QUEEN."

( VERSE. ) so I crossed my thoughtless heart‚ spread my wings like a parachute. [ My Hero Academia / Boku no Hero Academia verse. ]

Some people are afraid of the ocean, of the vast expanse of water at every turn. But ever since Lapis Hǎiyáng manifested her Quirk at a young age, she's always felt safest surrounded by water. Her Quirk, " WATER WINGS ", allows her to manipulate nearby water ( including water droplets in the air ) and use it in a variety of ways. Predictably, her favorite way to use water, which is also the easiest for her, is to create a pair of hydro-wings on her back that she can utilize for flight. ( It's also resulted in a blue tint to her skin and hair. )

Her dream was always to become a hero, starry-eyed at everyone she saw on television making the world a better place. As a child she was fairly fearless, but getting caught up in a villain attack left her with a crippling fear of fighting, even though she was saved by a hero fairly quickly. Unable to go into combat without the urge to flee consuming her, she considered her hero career over before it began.

After trying to find an outlet for it and searching for purpose, her parents enrolled her in dance classes, with techniques specifically designed to make use of Quirks both in dance moves and as special effects. Lapis excelled in these lessons, and before too long, she was one of the top young dancers in her city, winning contests and rising to prominence in her home country of China.

However, her new career wasn't without its pressures. As she became an adult, the long hours of training, rigorous performances, and cutthroat competition among peers began to lead to her burning out. Her passion for dance faded, despite her touring with a prestigious dance company and earning a decent living. No longer happy, she was going through the motions as she tried desperately to find a way to reinvent herself. Maybe I can try being a hero again.

While she and her company were on tour in Japan, she went out for drinks with the other women in the troupe on their last night there. She threw back drinks until she got drunk enough to pass out, the rest of the night was a blur ... and she woke up to find that her dance company had LEFT THE COUNTRY without her. She would later find out that one cruel woman told the rest of the dancers and the company leader that she'd quit and run off so that no one would look for her.

Effectively stranded with only her belongings she picked up from the hotel, she's slowly picking up the pieces to rebuild her life. Despite genuinely wanting to be a hero, she wouldn't know where to start. For now, she's living off her savings from the years of touring, searching for new opportunities, and just trying to figure out who she really is.

She's still terrified of fighting, so she doesn't even know if she could be a hero at this point. And when she hears that the head of the dance company she was with before has opened an academy near the crappy motel she's been living out of, she has to lay low. As upset as she is that she was left behind, she knows she doesn't want to go back to her old life. Anyone from that place will recognize her and try to drag her back, so ... Lapis isn't sure what to do now.

Maybe try to be a hero. Maybe rediscover her love for dance. On the way, maybe she can help INSPIRE the heart of a young future hero whose wings are already being clipped.

[saintrvckwell]

Till the end (ellie williams x reader)

ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: in the midst of brutal madness, ellie finds a moment to confess what she fears the most.

warnings: fluff, swearing, slight angst, soft moments of ellie and the reader

words count: 3.3k

a/n: oh yeah. i’m still alive. and finally wrote something that does not have ten thousands words wow? owed you something nice, tried my best to achieve that. it's short, but (i hope) comforting, at least. seattle ellie deserves the whole world.

"For all that it's worth, I would have loved you till the end."

‣

Ellie never wanted you to become a part of this. Her complicated, unresolved issues with Joel, her own inner fight with the guilt of not dying for something she considered to be the purpose of her life and repayment for those she had lost along the way. Nor be part of the inevitable outcome that Joel’s actions had caused.

Ellie never wanted to scar the only pure, untouched safety net she had in her life. 

But when she stood upon Nora’s body she had previously beaten to death, sourcing the information she came for to Seattle in the first place, she could no longer escape. To the person she was becoming, to Joel whose eyes were slowly fading away from her memory. From the look, you gave her when she came back to the theatre and Jesse let her in.

With the bloodstains on her clothes, and bruises on her arms, she handed Dina the map and you couldn’t help but notice how fragile her whole body has suddenly become. 

You didn’t say much, knowing there wasn’t anything that could fix the way Ellie felt, that could find the parts of herself she already lost while avenging someone whom she couldn’t even face after the heinous act she just committed.

Joel never wanted her to lose the remaining bits of innocence she had within her. He never wanted her to taste the ugliness of the world the way he did. Yet here she was. Convinced she had to finish this, no matter what was it going to take. How much was it going to cost. 

Jesse and Dina stood aside with a bloodstained map, marking Abby’s supposed location while you carefully grabbed Ellie’s wrist, wishing to take her to the back and clean her wounds. She couldn’t even look into your eyes, avoiding it the whole time you walked through the seats, all the way backstage. 

You sat her down on the couch, letting her take the clothes off while you went to search for some useful supplies. Back there, Dina and Jesse were upstairs, sitting by the radio, contemplating a good way of finding Tommy and the easiest route to hunt down Abby and be done with this whole thing. 

The minute you walked in, Jesse couldn’t help himself. “That was definitely not her blood.” 

Two days in and you already noticed how much this had cost her already. 

You didn’t comment, still searching through the cabinets. 

“Maybe we should just pack it up and leave,” Jesse whispered. “Right in the morning. We were in deep shit yesterday already. After this, they must be patrolling for us. We should just find Tommy and get the fuck out of here.” 

“And go where?” you dared to ask, shifting your attention to him. 

“Back home?” Dina shrugged his shoulders, joining the conversation.

“See,” you closed the cabinets and stood up, finally paying both of them your full attention. “She doesn’t have that anymore.” 

None of them would dare to argue about that. 

Jesse meant well, you were well aware of that. After all, Ellie was the reason he came to Seattle in the first place. But even though he was determined to help his friend, Jesse would never understand the full reason and justification of the way Ellie felt—why she was doing all of that.

You couldn’t help but sigh. “Ellie can’t see the sense of right and wrong right now. And the more you tell her how stupid and dangerous this is, the less she will listen to you..” 

“So you’re supporting this?” he wondered, disgruntled. 

“No,” you replied. “But I know that I can either give her shit and go home or stay and make sure she’s not going to lose the only parts of herself she has left.” 

You found what you were looking for, parts of that. Combined with what you packed before you left Jackson, you had nearly enough to fix all of Ellie’s injuries. Without uttering another word, you left Dina and Jesse to their own thoughts, not feeling the need to add anything else. As much as you understood their need to go back before things get significantly worse, you knew she would not go. 

And you would never forgive yourself if you just left her here, all alone. 

Especially after what happened a few minutes later. 

She was sitting on the old sofa by the time you got back to her, facing you backward. Before you even tried to whisper her name, you were stopped by a sight that immediately caught your attention. Most of her clothes were lying on the floor, soaked in blood and dirt. She sat there, half-naked, with her back displaying endless bruises, cuts and wounds. You couldn’t count all of them even if you tried. 

Ellie knew you were already there, but didn’t dare to look at you—not after you saw that. She was too weak to face you. Not because she was afraid of seeing the sadness and worry in your eyes; she had already gotten used to seeing that in the last two days.

More than that, Ellie would never be able to face a disappointment, not from you. Not from someone who was there for her. Who never asked why she stopped talking to Joel, why she begged you to switch patrols so she could avoid him. 

You were the last person who could see the good parts, despite digging through blood and tears to find them. And after Joel, she couldn’t afford to lose that. 

“Ellie?” you whispered, pulling her out of her thoughts. 

She wiped her tears away and nodded, giving you space to continue. 

“Is it alright if I clean your wounds?” 

You felt the need to get her approval.  

Doing her absolute best to stop those sobs from escaping her trembling lips, she covered her mouth and nodded again, giving you what you had asked for. 

You sat down quietly, right behind her, with your bucket, cloth, and nearly empty first aid kit you brought from Jackson. First, you cleaned the rest of the dry blood on her shoulders and lower back while she sat still. She let you help her, repeatedly wiping away the tears that were now heavily streaming down her bruised cheeks. 

Most of her wounds needed just some cleaning to prevent any further infection. You took your time with each one of them, making sure you were not hurting her anymore. She felt how delicate you were with your touch, how carefully you were trying to help her ease the pain.

The softness and care you had allowed her to forget about what she did out there for a second and enjoy the comfort you provided. 

A long exhale left her rosy lips. She found her mind drifting towards that the day; and the events that inevitably followed. She set her mind on leaving for Seattle the minute she left that place, despite Tommy’s desperate attempts to talk her out of it. Even when he decided to head out there first in order to protect her, she couldn’t appreciate the good thought. The pain clouded her judgment.

That day, when Tommy left, she fought with you for hours. It was the first time you saw Ellie since the horrific incident at the lodge. She was standing by your fireplace, announcing that she was leaving for Seattle and she was hoping (more like counting on the fact) that you were going to cover her ass while she quietly goes on her revenge quest.

And being the person you were and having the amount of love you had for her, of course, you would not let her go alone. 

“I don’t need a babysitter,” she stopped the minute she heard that proposal. “This isn’t your fucking business. And I’m not making you a part of that.” 

“I’m not asking for permission, Ellie,” you whispered, stepping closer to her. “I’m going with you, end of conversation.”

It went on for another twenty minutes when she was trying to talk out of you joining her. She was harsh, calling you a naive idiot more than once. But you knew that all those words, all this pain were coming from the same place of sadness she was trying to suppress. You would never hold any of this against her. 

Eventually, as she understood, it didn’t matter how hard she tried, how harsh she might have been to you. You were determined to go and there was nothing Ellie could change about that. 

Thinking about it now, weeks later, she felt guilty for the way she spoke to you. You were the last person who would deserve such treatment, given how faithfully you stood by her this whole time.

Throughout most of the days on the road, Ellie was withdrawn, immersed in her own thoughts. She wasn’t talkative but if she happened to say a word or two, she was taking out her own frustration on you.

After everything she said over the past couple of weeks, you had a full right to turn away at any point and head back home. But you didn't. 

You always stayed, despite how unbearable it was at times. Ensuring her that you were not going to walk away, in Seattle or anywhere else.

And now, as you were sitting here, cleaning her blood-stained spots and washing away the shame and guilt she had been wearing around, Ellie knew how high the stakes were—how petrifying was the thought of losing you. Despite her numerous attempts to chase you away, despite the fact that you never really established where you stood when it came to the other, you meant a lot to her. More than she was willing to admit. 

“Ellie, this one’s really deep. I’m gonna need to sew it,” you whispered, grabbing the needle and the thread, interrupting her thoughts. 

She didn’t respond, just left you to do your thing and stayed immersed in her head. 

“It’s probably gonna hurt a little,” you warned her before sticking the needle through the skin of her shoulder. 

“It won’t. I don’t feel anything,” she mumbled; for the first time. 

The response forced you to stop for a second and rethink what you have just heard. You didn’t know whether you should ask for more information. Instead, you finished your job and within a few minutes, the open wound was gone.

Ellie suddenly felt the coldness wrapping around her as soon as your hands left her body as you handed her a clean t-shirt from your backpack. 

“You should get some rest,” you whispered, standing up and grabbing the bucket with blood-soaked clothes. “I still have your snacks in my backpack, in case you were hungry.” 

There was no reaction from her. She put on the shit and stayed in the same spot, still not willing to face you. 

Part of you wanted to rush over and comfort her. But knowing how withdrawn she was lately, you didn’t want to drive her away any further. So you stood there for a second, with a bucket in your hands, and watched her, wiping away the tears from her puffy, red cheeks. 

“Please, don’t leave me.” 

It was the moment you reached for the doorknob, halfway out of the room, when she suddenly uttered that pleading statement. The walls she had been so determined to build around her aching existence were slowly falling to the ground, leaving her on her own.

There was a thought in Ellie’s head. Thought that appeared when she was gripping the iron pole, beating the words out of her enemy’s weakened body. Nora was on the verge of her own strength, not having any more power to fight Ellie, so she gave her friend up.

She handed Ellie what she came for in the first place, leaving her space to strike for one last time—finishing what she started, ending Nora’s prolonged suffering. 

And the moment she did that—hitting the one last punch, she saw you. She saw the thought of you in her mind and froze. She glanced down upon the lifeless body—but saw you. Saw you lying in your own blood, dying by her own hand. And for the first time, she feared the person she was becoming. Facing the outcome. 

Making you collateral damage of her revenge quest was a risk of its own. But being capable of hurting you on her own what was she feared the most. 

For a second, you had to process what you just heard. It wasn’t until the sobs that left her trembling mouth you felt the need to turn around and take a look at her. 

She was now standing right in front of you, finally daring to face you. 

Daring to face her what she feared the most. 

“I’m scared.”

For weeks now, she was quietly suffering, mourning in her thoughts. Now the pain crawled on the surface and she could no longer avoid it. For the first time, she let you see all of that—see the desperation in her faded green eyes and realize how long she has been suppressing all of this inside. 

“What are you scared of?” you whispered and took a step closer to her. 

She took a deep breath, trying to get ahold of her sobs before she continued, still looking into your eyes: “Of what I did.” 

You knew Ellie was not always as tough as she tried to portray herself. But seeing that right in front of you, seeing her falling down felt like a shot coming through your chest. 

“What did you do, Ellie?” 

There was a curiosity in your mind, followed by fear of what you might get. 

“I made her talk.” 

It was somehow enough. Enough to understand that the desperate need for a feeling of consolation was growing with each strike Ellie hit and with each toll it took on her.  

“Ellie—“ you took a step closer, reaching for her but she swiftly pulled away, shaking her head. 

“I’m scared,” she repeated, daring to look into your eyes. “What if I might—“

“No,” you stopped her without hesitation, knowing where this was headed. “You won’t.” 

Brushing her tears away, she suddenly looked down. “You don’t know that. You don’t know what I’m capable of. I don’t even know what I’m capable of.” 

There was a genuine worry in her voice, fear of her own self. But after all those years, after everything you’ve encountered together, you trusted her enough to confidently proclaim that she would never hurt you. 

You trusted her. But she didn’t trust herself, that was the core issue.

Which you became aware of the second she bursted into tears. 

Ellie was never quite an emotional person; she mostly tried to deal with everything on her own and as quietly as possible. Until now.

“I can’t lose you.” 

And there it was. 

The revelation between uncontrollable sobs made you come closer. 

“But I’m afraid it’s gonna happen anyway and it terrifies me to death.” 

She came to terms with the fact that you might never become hers, long before this. For all those years, Ellie yearned for you in silence, realizing she will accept any kind of role in your life, as long as she is part of it. Only now she was realising how dangerous this wish had become.

Because suddenly, there was a price. 

She was never more honest in her life than right now, displaying all of her worries in front of you. Displaying how important you were for her. For a moment, you thought, if there, perhaps, was more to her words. 

“You’re not gonna lose me, Ellie,” you whispered, slowly reaching for her hand, again. “That's just not gonna happen,” you intertwined your fingers with hers. 

“You don’t know that,” she mumbled, trying to pull away her hand but you stopped her. 

“I do. As long as I have a say in it,” you objected, stepping even closer. “No matter what you say, what you do. I’m not leaving. You can yell at me, for all I care—just like you did in my living room. But I told you then and I’m telling you now. I’m not leaving you, now or ever.” 

At that moment, Ellie suddenly didn’t know which thing she feared more. Whether it was the idea of losing you by her own force or knowing that despite her capacity to hurt you, you were never going to walk away.

Ellie couldn’t pull you into her darkness—but at the same time, she couldn’t leave you. You were her home, her whole world. Or at least, what was left of it. 

“Can you stay?” she pleaded, reaching for your other hand. 

You nodded, letting a fleeting smile slip onto your lips as you pulled her closer, wrapping both of your hands around her neck. She was hesitant at first but the second her body crashed against yours, she gave in. There was a sigh of relief escaping from her lips as she buried her head into your shoulder; tightly gripping your waist.

Making you realize how starved she must have been for that hug.

You stayed together in that little dressing room, lying together in the dark with Ellie’s hand caressing your cheek. You promised yourself to stay up and alert to watch over her but found yourself falling asleep in her arms. Now she was lying in front of you, studying your appearance, her mind drifting away to different ends. 

She wondered. About her. About you. 

She wondered if things were different, if perhaps, there was any other ending for you—one less threatening. She wondered if she would, under different circumstances, find the courage to finally confess. She wondered if the two of you would have a shot at having a relatively normal life together, despite the world you were living in. 

She wanted the best for you, and nothing less. She wanted to protect you. From the heinous world outside, and sometimes from herself as well. Looking at you, lying so peacefully next to her, she couldn’t help but think of Joel’s words. 

Perhaps now more than ever, Ellie was facing her own moral battle. There was someone in her life, someone for whom she would quite frankly walk to the edge of the universe and back. Someone whose life was carrying more value than her own. Feasibly, now she had a chance to understand the nature of his actions. 

When she had her own something to fight for. 

“Are you okay?” 

It was your voice that pulled Ellie out of her mind. 

She snapped out of her thoughts and saw your eyes.

“Did I wake you?” she whispered, concern in her voice. 

“No but you should’ve,” you chuckled. “I’m supposed to be making sure that you’re still breathing.” 

Ellie couldn’t help but laugh. “You’ve been doing that for the past couple of weeks. Now it’s my turn.” 

You felt her hand, still resting on your cheek. There was a look in her eyes that you could not quite define. In the darkness surrounding you, the two of you were staring into each other’s eyes.

Before she filled the silence with her voice. 

“Hey,” she mumbled, slowly drifting closer to you, her breath dancing on your lips. 

“Hm?” you raised your eyebrows, curious. 

“If things were different,” she whispered, guilt in her voice. “I would’ve given you a lot more than this.” 

Most of the time, Ellie struggled with her words. But now, it was crystal clear. In her own way, she made sure you knew how important you were.

For her.

You leaned closer, grabbing Ellie’s hand and intertwining your fingers. Only then, you looked into her eyes again and smiled, reassuring.

Message received.

“This,” you squeezed her hand, “is enough for me.”

“So, you think you can love even the least I can offer?” she whispered.

There was a smile on your lips. Smile that eased Ellie’s worried mind once you moved closer. “Been doing that for quite some time, already.”

She wanted to give you the world, that and so much more. In Ellie's eyes, that was what you deserved. She wanted to make sure you were going to be happy, despite the circumstances life had both given you.

Both of you were hoping for something else, for so much more.

Yet, you would never walk away. No matter the conditions you were under, you had each other. And that was enough. Enough to stay. Enough to do more than that.

[theveryfires]

the wrong song | eddie munson x reader

AN: this is my first little sort of drabble, hope you guys like it! If there is anything that can be improved or it you guys would like more please let me know! hope you enjoy!

'It's not working, why is it not working?!" The panic in Steve's voice reverberated around the upside down before rattling up into the Munson's trailer. The rest of the gang had made it back through to reality, but as Y/N had started to climb, she had suddenly frozen. Her eyes rolled back into her head, body twitching in the darkness as Steve shouted for help from the others. A mad rush had ensued to find the right song, but despite the luck of Eddie even having 'Edge of Seventeen' in his possession, it was now half way through and her condition was only getting worse.

Lucas squeezed Dustin's hand as they watched the eldest Henderson begin to levitate, her feet now well above the ground as her hair spiralled down between the two worlds. "Maybe it's the wrong song?" Robin finally said what everyone had been thinking, casting an apologetic look towards Steve as she spoke. But Harrington shook his head, his mind clouded with fear. This was the song she had played on every car ride home, it was the one she would get ready to/ He could hear it playing from her room when he was waiting around for Dustin, she carried the damn cassette in her bag There was no way in his mind that this was the wrong song, there couldnt possibly be another "No, no way...this has to be it."

But Steve's mumbling faded into the background of panic as Eddie began to think. His wide and worried stare flickering between Dustin and the girl he had known since middle school. If something didn't change and fast, he was going to have to watch someone else be taken away from him. He felt helpless, staring up at her and unable to stop whatever was happening in her head. He couldn't do this again, he wouldn't. A thousand what if's suddenly gripped him, she hated the dark, what if she was trapped in the dark. She insisted on sleeping with at least a lamp on, or leaving on some cheesy late night talk show. His mind was running overtime as he willed himself to think of anything that might bring her back to him...them.

The first time they met came to mind. He still had his buzzcut after Jason had one of his goons smear bubblegum in his mane. Eddie had been sat at the back of the class, rocking his chair and twirling his pencil when she had walked in. Y/N was looking at the floor, shaking her right hand nervously by her side as she searched for an empty seat and silently cursing herself for not showing up earlier. she had been wearing blue flared jeans and a big sweater, her hair haphazardly piled on top of her head, stray curls twirling around her face. Eddie had braced himself for the complaining, the only other empty seat was next to him and there was no way she was going to sit there without kicking up a fuss...everybody else had. He could still recall the warmth that had washed over him when she smiled, simply walking over and getting her pencil case out of her backpack before turning towards the young metal head with her hand extended towards him. "I'm Y/N Henderson, you're Eddie right?" A shy smile had taken over his face as he shook her hand and nodded slowly, still in shock. Y/N's younger brother would go on to do the exact same thing after bumping into him in the hallways. The thought of why they shouldn't, the social consequences of being affiliated with Eddie, never mind just being nice to him never seemed to cross the Henderson's minds. All they had ever seen him as was a friend, not the 'freak' he had been branded with.

After their first year of middle school Y/N and Eddie soon found themselves in most of the same classes. The two had figured out early on this had been done on purpose, the hope she could be a good influence on the towns 'menace' was evident. Even back then Y/N had a squeaky clean reputation, she was never late, always happy to learn, put the work in. Eddie had only just ben getting started when they put the two together. He couldn't deny she rubbed off on him a little, for the first time in his academic career Eddie Munson was never late. At least for the classes he bothered to show up to. It was during these sacred classes that Eddie began to get to really know Y/N. When she got bored she would tap her feet to an unheard tun, her lips mouthing along to the various songs that were stuck in her head. The one that she bobbed her head to the most making Eddie's jaw drop when he caught sight of the cassette currently in her walkman.

Eddie's heart leaped, following the memory like a thread to another. Y/N had a habit of always humming something when she was completing basic tasks. A small smile on her face as she made them breakfast, his hellfire shirt hanging from her frame as she swayed along, completely in her own world and ignorant to the deep brown eyes watching her. She had first stayed over to help him with a school project, but their sleepovers soon became a regular thing. Her whispered singing in the shower would always wake him up, her voice slightly out of tune and bringing a tired smile to his face. Eddie couldn't hide his smile even with the situation at hand as another memory took over. They were dancing together, in his room. Y/N was playing the air guitar furiously, her curls thrashing around her and forehead scrunched as she focused. Her chest was heaving, eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back as her fingers danced along an imaginary electric guitar, soft lips mouthing along to the words. They should of been studying, but the song had come on and neither of them could believe the radio was playing actual good music for once. Her perfume had consumed Eddie's thoughts, the bright smile on her face making his heart race. He actually blushed at the memory, how close they had been by the end of the song. Not even realising they were sharing the same air, eyes wandering around each others aces, He had sworn her gaze had lingered on his mouth before flicking up to meet his own. The feeling of Y/N leaning into his touch as he brushed a stray curl back behind her ear had been heavenly, biblical, he had cast a prayer to Ozzy in hopes it would come true. The reverie almost felt real, just slightly out of touch as the two teens fell into one another. Y/N had tasted like Dr.Pepper and cherry lip gloss, even softer than Eddie had expected. He was breathless as he fel back into reality, faced with a very different Y/N as she now dangled between worlds.

'It's the wrong song!" Eddie hadn't meant to shout as he lunged towards the piles of tapes they had ransacked only minutes before. His new found friends attention was now on the metalhead, a wall of raised eyebrows and wide eyes watched Eddie's back as he desperately searched for the right tape. Steve and Nancys murmured doubts were drowning in the white noise of adrenaline that surrounded Eddie as he finally gripped the right one. It was faded, but the tape felt like home in his hand. "It's this one." Carefully, Eddie chucked it through the gate to Steve, trying to control his breathing as he found himself just a few inches under Y/N's forehead.

Steve couldn't help the scoff that left him, rolling in his eyes at the title on the tape. "I hate to burst your bubble Munson, but i don't think Y/N even knows who Black Sabbath are." Eddie rolled his eyes, nerves finally getting the better of him as he glared up at the ex jock. He didn't have time for this, to argue with Steve 'the hair' Harrington that only two years prior had been part of the idiots that found joy in shoving Eddie into lockers. 'I've known Henderson since before middle school. This is the song she hums in class when she's bored. Its the one she sings in the shower and in the car ride home. It's the song..It's our...can you just trust me and play the fucking tape man."

Eddie's eyes were wide, pleading with Steve to listen to him when the tension was broken by a shattering whimper. Dustin was shaking, tears falling down his face as he watched his sister fall deeper into Vecna's curse. Sick and tired of his two older male friends fighting and just wanting his sister back. "Listen to him Steve!"

Hesitantly Steve removed the cassette that he would have bet his life on to save Y/N. Their own memories tangled into the lyrics, it's hard case now digging indents into his hand as he replaced Stevie Nicks with Black Sabbath. The first few notes of 'Paranoid' began to play, and Eddie once again found himself praying to Ozzy to bring her back to him. Y/N was now far enough through the gate that Eddie could see her face. Leaning his forehead against her pallid cold one, Eddie couldn't help but whisper 'Come on Henderson, come back to me." Robin and Nancy shared a look, confusion spreading throughout the group as they awkwardly watched the intimate moment between the freak and the good girl.

A beat passed, and the hope they all had began to fade away. A dismal acceptance taking it's place. Eddie's knuckles tightening as Steve commentated "Looks like neither of us were right, man."

Suddenly, as the chorus began to kick in, Y/N's eyes snapped open. With a yelp she dropped through the rift and into Eddie's arms, forcing him back onto the stained mattress that they should both be ashamed of. But none of that mattered, not right now as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. Burying his face into her hair, breathing deeply, it was her, it was her. Tears coated Y/N's face, dampening Eddies hair as she shakily took a breathe in. Inhaling him, stale cigarettes and the cologne she had bought him for his birthday. 'Eddie." A relieved tone coated his name as it fell from her mouth like a prayer. Under other circumstances this would of only further boosted Munson's ego to a godlike status. But this time it only worked to break his heart, his grip growing tighter as he rocked them both. "I've got you princess, i've got you."

[emeraldcitynerdfighter]

"Carson, stop."

Greta's hands fell to her shoulders. After over a decade, the weight alone was enough to pause Carson's spiral dead in its tracks.

Truth comes in stillness

Greta searched her face, then quickly glanced around them, everyone shifting roles and equipment as they transitioned back into offense. She then grabbed Carson by the wrist, dragging her out of the dugout. Greta didn't stop or acknowledge Carson's pleas and confusion until they were almost back to the locker rooms, well out of eye- and ear-shot of the roaring crowd chanting for them.

"Greta, what are you --"

"Come here."

Greta caught Carson's hand and pulled her close. She didn't give Carson a moment to respond or protest before she kissed her. It wasn't a quick peck or a brush against the lips; it was purposeful, intense, the most public they’ve ever been, mere feet away from hundreds of people, at risk of having someone walk right back into the locker room. Usually, if timing permitted, they snuck in maybe a peck on the cheek or a squeeze of the hand. Never this.

Carson pulled back. She exhaled sharply, a smile playing at her lips, as she searched Greta's face. "You've gotten bold, Gill."

Greta shrugged, her arms still slung around Carson's waist. "What are they gonna do, fire us?" She tucked a loose lock of hair behind Carson's ear. "If I want to kiss my wife today, I should get to."

My wife

Greta pulled her closer, foreheads nearly touching, the air around them a mix of grass and the sweet dirt of the diamond and the hint of Greta's perfume -- the scents of their careers, their romance, their lives.

"You make me feel brave, Carson Shaw. You make me believe there's a world that's coming where I get to kiss my wife as she crosses the plate after hitting a game-winning home run." She kissed her again. "And, if I can't do that just yet, I'm gonna make my own rules."

Carson wrapped her arms around Greta, breathing in the scents of the corridor -- musty and filled with sawdust and sand, a combination that always smelled like home. "I'm so proud of you," she mumbled against her chest.

Greta stroked Carson's hair, resting her chin on the top of her head. "I'm so proud of us." She leaned back, looking at Carson. "We did this."

They glanced into the locker room, in its final, most disastrous state before the season ended. Chalk-written names faded and smudged, old, abandoned, crusty socks shoved into corners of lockers, a line of makeup containers along the mirror in the bathroom.

It was beautiful.

Look at what we made together.

"I love you," Carson whispered, her throat tight and raspy. She pulled Greta back to her. "I know this isn't the way it should be ending…"

"No. It's perfect," Greta pressed a kiss to Carson's forehead. "And I love you, too. All the way."

Carson offered a watery smile in return. "And every day."

In the distance, the cheers unknowingly beckoned them back. Carson scrunched up her face, her lips pressed into a thin line.

"Greta, we have to go soon." She whispered it as if they weren't the only ones in the corridor, like saying it too loudly would mean it would be heard by the rest of the universe, that it would finally set the inevitable into motion.

It can't end if we don't leave.

Now, though, there was no more time.

"I know…" Greta placed her hands on Carson's warm, sun-kissed cheeks, dotted with her late-summer freckles. "So, here's what's about to happen. I'll get onto first, Danny will get me to second, and you bring me home.

"We know how this ends."

[read more on a03]

[inkandpen22]

Always a Ploy

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: Y/N is often used as a ploy to catch the perpetrators and it drives Spencer crazy 

A/N: I’m always adding new one shots for Reid so if you’d like to be tagged lmk!

Masterlist

Y/N

I sway my head from side to side, playing music in my head to distract myself from the fact that I'm freezing. 'Stand and wait on the side of the house' Hotch ordered. 'I'll give you the go-ahead soon' he promised. Ten minutes later, Reid and I are still waiting for the said go-ahead. At least Reid gets to be in normal clothes for the desert at night. I'm yet again being offered up as a ploy and in Morgan's mind, a door-to-door saleswoman would wear a dress when the weather is supposed to be low sixties, the wind not included. 

"Honey, you're killing me. Are you sure you don't want my jacket?" Reid offers again for the third time in the last five minutes. 

"Yes." My breath escapes between my teeth. "I'm fine. Plus, we won't have much time once Hotch gives the signal." I shake my limbs to remain warm. 

“Wait for my command," Hotch announces into our earpieces. "We lost sight of him in the window. We suspect he’s headed to the basement.” 

I shake my head. “Screw this. I’m going in.” 

“No, you’re not!” 

“They’re children! One more minute with that monster is another minute of trauma!” I move to step around the house and toward the front door. 

Reid slips his gun back onto his belt and grabs my wrist to stop me. He yanks me back and pins me against the cool wooden panels of the house. I open my mouth to argue and he covers my mouth. He whispers frantically, “Baby, baby, listen to me. I can’t let you in there!" I wiggle in his hold. “Stop fighting me.” 

“Y/N, you may proceed," Hotch announces, giving me the go-ahead. 

Reluctantly, Reid has no choice but to let me go. His hand falls from my mouth slowly, but he keeps me pinned and stares into my eyes warningly. “Don’t do anything reckless!" 

I smirk and slip out from under him. “You should know me better than assume I’d listen.” 

“Y/N, I’m serious!” He whispers, aggravated. 

“So am I." I send him a wink as I step out from beside the house. 

The lights from the living room pour out of the window onto the dry dirt yard. I take a minute a toss my hair to one side and yank the dress down to reveal more of my chest. 

Spencer

I watch from the shadows as Y/N adjusts herself to speak with the suspect. I hate it when she does this. I understand that Hotchner and everyone agrees that it works, but their opinions don't make any less uncomfortable. My own girlfriend is being used as a ploy, expected to flont herself to earn the trust of serial killers or rapists. 

Morgan appears beside me and squeezes my shoulder. “Don’t get hostile, Boy Genius.” 

“She’s doing it on purpose,” I grumble, gesturing to Y/N. 

“I know, I know.” He sighs. "But she's just doing her job. It's all pretending to her too," he assures me. "She's into you, man." 

Y/N

I ring the doorbell and rock on my heels, making the panels of the porch creak. Suddenly, the door swings open to reveal a worn-down middle-aged man in dirty overalls. 

“I don’t want to join any religion," he grumbles. He goes to slam the door shut, but I block it with my hand. 

“Neither do I,” I voice softly with a smirk. I step forward to stand on the threshold. “But maybe you’d like to sit down and talk about your finances? Have you been keeping track of where you’ve been putting your... assets?” I scan the man up and down with my eyes until I meet his gaze. 

Spencer

As we listen to Y/N flirt with the suspect, Morgan chuckles quietly next to me. 

I elbow him in the stomach. “It’s not funny.” 

“She sounds like Jessica Rabbit,” he jokes, only irritating me more. 

There's creaking on the porch, followed by the front door squeaking shut. He's let her in. 

Y/N

The place is an utter wreck. There have to be at least a dozen cats, hundreds of old newspapers scattered everyone, and it smells of feces. I sit down on the worn and ripped plaid couch next to the old man. I wear my best smile, though inside I'm screaming. 

“Now, let’s begin. What bank do you currently use?” I ask, gripping my fake leather finance binder. 

The man shifts closer to me. “Chase.” 

I note now that he's missing at least five teeth. I nod. “They are great to their members, but we something broader... larger in size," I chose my words intentionally. 

Abruptly, there's a high-pitch scream from within the house, making both of us freeze. 

“What was that?” I ask, searching the surrounding area. 

“My daughter is upstairs playing!" He rushes out and scoots closer to me. Boldly, he places his hand on my bare knee. "What was that you said about size?” He grins and begins to glide his hand up slowly. 

I swallow hard, my eyes on his hand. I try to ease it off. “Sir, please-“ 

He lifts his hand off my knee and brings it to my shoulder. He tries to urge me to lay down. “Come on, sugar. I’ll pay you for your time. Your supervisor won’t have to know.” 

I reach underneath my dress and whip out my gun, pointing it directly between his eyes. “FBI, down on the ground!” 

His eyes grow wide and his jaw nearly hits the floor. “What!” 

The S.W.A.T. team barges into the house, all yelling over each other. They march deeper into the house and into the basement where we know the children are. Hotchner appears in the foyer with Reid and Morgan. Soon, Prentiss and JJ are close behind. 

Reid yanks the man off of me and tosses him onto the ground on his knees. He handcuffs him and pulls him to his feet. “No means no, asshole!” 

“She was asking for it," the suspect huffs as he's dragged off toward the foyer. 

Reid laughs mockingly. “Doubtful consider she just has to go to me for that." 

Morgan kneels in front of me. “You okay?” 

I nod weakly. “After every time I just feel gross.” I shake out my arms with a shiver. 

“He’s a disgusting man. I’m sorry he touched you.” 

“Part of the job.” I shrug. “At least I know how to defend myself. There are so many women who don't." 

Morgan nods. "Maybe you can take your experiences and help those women." 

Now there's an idea. 

__________________________________________________

I lean against the car with JJ and Prentiss as the S.W.A.T. team and members of C.P.S carry the little girls out of the basement and into ambulances. It's a bittersweet sight. Morgan and Reid step out of the house once the last child is removed. Morgan pats Reid on the back with a chuckle as they approach us. 

As soon as they reach us, Reid takes my hand and leads me to a tree a few feet away from the car. When we have some privacy, he starts to apologize. “Look, I’m sorry for what I did. I shouldn’t have grabbed you and covered your mouth. I didn’t know-“ 

I cut him off, reaching up and bringing my lips to meet his with a quick peck. His hands rest on my waist and I break from him. 

He blinks rapidly, taken aback. “I thought you’d be mad.” 

“Oh I was pissed in the moment. Now, it’s just hot," I grin, wrapping my arms around his waist. 

He smirks. “Noted.” 

“I didn’t know you could move so quickly, Reid,” I giggle. “And what you said to the perpetrator when you arrested him!” 

He chuckles, “yeah I may have been a little heated in the moment. In my defense, he did touch you! Okay, that was not a part of the plan!” 

“I appreciate the protectiveness,” I assure him with a laugh. 

He glances down at the small space between us and the smile on his lips fades slowly. 

I can tell there's something on his mind. 

“About your performance...” He mumbles. 

“Didn’t like it?” I ask, knowing how he hates it when I have to be a ploy. 

He nods frantically. “Yeah, never again," he orders. 

“Deal.” I nod, giving his lips a quick peck again. 

He smiles into the kiss. “Well, never again for anyone else," he adds against my lips, making me grin. He breaks from me to ask, "Do you think maybe tonight you and I could talk about my assets?” 

I swat him on the arm. “Reid!” 

He chuckles, "you're right. We'll talk about this when we get home." 

I roll my eyes and they land on our teammates by the car as they watch us go back and forth, smiling brightly. 

_____________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @mrsobrien888​ @hufflepufftruffle @gillybear17 @thatsonezesty13 @smol-flowerkiddo @reesespieces10123 @madds-m @az3r0o @wafflebacon23 @spencerreid-mgg @alfonsais @justlivinginadaydream @kaitlynpcallmebeepme @farah3012 @doveygirlkay-blog @dreatine  @imhappybutimalsosad @parahmur  @tremendousdinosaurhideout  @destiny-dream67  @ashwarren32  @yeahjustcallmer-n @bluehydrangea-cherry​ @izzysecrets

[luminnara]

It’s Been a Long, Long Time | Alpha!Bucky x Omega!reader part one 18+ only

Summary:  When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back...and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!

Warnings: NSFW, knotting, abo, smut, mild dubcon

Request are OPEN! I would love to write more Bucky stuff!

Also posted on AO3

Part one | Part Two | Part three | 

In a world full of massive, snarling, strong alphas, nobody wanted to use something as small and physically weak as an omega to do war. Omegas were better suited for other things, like nurturing, and giving life. The alphas were the ones who fought and maimed and killed and protected and hunted. It wasn’t even until relatively recently that omegas even had many rights in the modern world, and there were still plenty of traditionalists who stuck to the old ideals. Omegas were for breeding and claiming and little more. Though those ideas were fading, there would always be those who believed that there were things omegas couldn’t and shouldn’t do--

And fighting was at the top of that list. 

Omegas weren’t built for it. They were sturdy, sure, to help them withstand the ruts of big alphas who couldn’t control themselves, but they were generally small, and, many believed, unable to fend for themselves. Their role, their purpose, was to be claimed and bred by big strong alphas, and that was that. It made sense; after all, someone needed to stay and care for the pups, or else there would be little chance of survival. Throughout most of history, survival wasn’t something that was ever guaranteed, and having a secondary gender that was intended for rearing offspring greatly increased the likelihood that pups would make it to adulthood. Alphas were bigger and stronger, natural leaders, always ready to fight and defend their territory and their pack, and omegas were always there to carry the young. 

And that was that. Omegas weren’t meant to be warriors. Their only place on the battlefield was in the medic tent, where they could tend to wounded alphas and betas. It was nearly unheard of in many places for there to be omega soldiers, even infantry. 

Until the twentieth century. 

The catastrophic proportions of both World Wars brought with them an all hands on deck mentality. In the states, male omegas were being drafted along with the others, newly-invented heat and rut suppressants meaning that they could all work together without the danger of blunders thanks to anyone’s natural cycle. Back home, not only were alpha and beta women suddenly flooding the workforce while the men were overseas, but omegas were joining them. It was unprecedented, and began to change many minds. Maybe omegas were useful for more than incubators. Maybe they could work.

They still weren’t the best choice for hands on, tactical things, though. While there were omegas in the army, they rarely became officers, because who was going to want to listen to them? They weren’t natural born fighters, and they were hardwired to obey alphas. They were better as battle fodder, extras to pad out the numbers. They certainly weren’t anyone’s first choice for special missions or programs.

Well...almost anyone’s.

When HYDRA got their soldier and programmed his brain, they were pleased. The big alpha, James Buchanan Barnes, had survived the super soldier serum, and with his mind wiped and his old life far away from him, he was the perfect assassin. The Winter Soldier was strong, well trained, and easy to control, when given the proper commands. The serum made him practically unkillable, and he had the speed and strength to rival that annoying Captain America. 

Unfortunately, the serum also made his ruts much harder to suppress. HYDRA would never permit him to settle down with an omega, of course not...but an omega was the only thing that could ease his rut cycle. Without one, he could spend a week snarling and pining, absolutely useless. With one, he was only out of the field for a few days. Until they could develop better suppressants, their only solution was to give him an omega. 

Unfortunately, they weren’t very good at surviving him. 

He didn’t like any of them, not really. He never meant to kill them, never really tried, but HYDRA had a habit of starving the poor things before they tossed them into the lion’s den, and they just couldn’t keep up. The soldier used them to alleviate his ruts, always mechanical in his movements, and that was that. 

HYDRA didn’t particularly care whether the omegas lived or died, but they did reach a point where it was getting to be a bit ridiculous to catch so many for their soldier. Someone along the way had the bright idea to simply make a stronger omega, one who could withstand their asset’s forcefulness. Giving the serum to an omega was such a ridiculous idea that it just might work, and so they did, and oh, did they get lucky with the omega they chose.

Taking scent samples from several omegas they already had, they presented them to the soldier, allowing him to choose. It was, perhaps, the one time they had ever given him a sense of autonomy over himself and his life. It was the one time he had any freedom, despite the incredibly controlled circumstances.

 While strapped down to a familiar chair, he watched the doctors pacing around. He was expecting the familiar agony of having his mind refreshed before a new mission, or maybe even the chill of preparation to go into cryo for a few years until he was needed again. Instead, they presented him with strong-smelling test tubes, each one unmistakably omega. He inhaled their scents with mild interest, none seeming to particularly stand out...until they reached the last.

Amoretta Arancini was a young adult female omega, whose file stated that she was “a kicker.” From the moment she had been captured with the intent to be given to the soldier for a rut, she had clawed and kicked and bitten at anyone and everyone who came into contact with her. She was nearly impossible to deal with, and had the soldier not immediately flared his nostrils and strained against the leather straps that held him down, she would have been finally put down. 

Neither she nor Bucky knew it, but he was the only reason she was allowed to live.

The soldier was placed back into his usual cell, and the doctors set about gathering the unruly omega he had chosen. It only made sense that the big, killer alpha would go for a positively savage little monster of an omega, after all.

They administered the serum, unsure whether an omega would even survive it, and by the time their soldier’s next rut came around, she was ready. If she could withstand him, she would have a purpose within HYDRA, and they would be able to stop wasting so much time on finding new omegas for him to burn through. 

She was given double the suppressants he was. They didn’t care if she experienced side effects; after all, her only job was to present herself to the soldier at the start of every rut. She didn’t need to be out in the field. If that meant she was groggy and nauseous all the time, who cared? It seemed to work, keeping her heat and fertility at bay while leaving her lucid enough to get the asset through his cycle. The last thing HYDRA needed was an unscheduled heat or pregnancy to deal with. 

“The asset is entering his rut. Bring in the omega.” A voice on the intercom said. 

An alarm blared, a door slowly screeching open, revealing a cold cell, bare save for the cot against the wall. It was a cell specifically used to hold the soldier during his ruts, and now, it would also hold Amoretta. 

She stumbled along, a beta guard with a cattle prod stalking behind her. She was naked, having been allowed to shower before meeting the soldier for the first time, her dark hair still damp as it fell behind her shoulders. It was the cleanest her skin had felt in weeks, so she could only be so angry about it...but she was still angry. 

With the threat of electricity behind her, she entered the empty cell. A door slammed shut the moment she stepped in, another sliding open on the other side of the small room. 

His scent hit her like a freight train. Motor oil, earth, and cloves...Amoretta’s lip raised in a sneer, partly because she had a feeling she knew what was coming, and partly so that she could try to disguise the way she suddenly began salivating. 

Sure enough, just as she suspected, the biggest alpha she had ever seen in her life came stalking in, eyes dark and wild as he searched for the omega he had smelled on his way in. His chest was heaving, sweat prickling his brow, and as his musky rut-scent wove around Amoretta, she swallowed hard. She definitely knew what was coming next. 

She had never seen the asset before, but she had heard whispers and seen the other omegas they offered up to him. Before she was injected with the serum, she lived in a cramped cell with several others, and whenever someone was dragged out, it was always a toss up whether they would return or not. When they did return, they were never in good shape. 

Now she could see why. 

He was predatory in his movements, dark hair falling in his eyes as he stalked toward her. The door slammed shut the moment he was clear of it, and suddenly, Amoretta was trapped with him. She had nowhere to go, nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide from what was quite possibly the most dangerous alpha in the world. If he decided he wanted her, she would have no choice. If he decided he didn’t want her...she would probably die, either by his hand, or HYDRA���s.

She stood as still as she could, watching him with level eyes as he sized her up. A large part of her was surprised that he hadn’t pounced yet, and as a low rumble started up in his chest, she sort of wished he would. The sound went straight to her core, her thighs pressing together of their own free will while she did everything she could to keep from biting her lip. 

His nostrils flared as the scent of her arousal mounted and he pressed himself up against her. The soldier was still looking her over, taking a surprisingly long time to examine the omega standing before him, especially considering that he was rutting. He slowly lowered his head, inhaling deeply, brushing his nose over the scent gland on her neck. The rumbling in his chest grew louder, and this time, Amoretta couldn’t help the needy whine that escaped her throat. 

The soldier’s hot tongue swept over her gland, his hands gripping her hips. He liked how she smelled. He liked how her flesh tasted. 

He wanted more.

He gave her a small shove towards the cot, but as he did so, this little omega glaring up at him actually snapped. She bared her little teeth at him, trying to tell him to slow down, and he responded with a snarl of his own. His tore through his throat, a savage noise, and while it shut her up, it didn’t get rid of the harsh look she was shooting at him. 

The asset wasn’t used to anyone, especially the omegas that HYDRA offered up to him, talking back. They usually went belly up for him the moment he stepped into the cell, behaving and presenting themselves for him to take. That’s what he preferred--a willing omega, whom he could enjoy for a few days. He didn’t like...whatever was going on here. Why was this one so upset with him? He wanted this omega to relax, to take him easily.  His mind, usually so analytical and tactical, was clouded by his rut, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure what to do. 

Amoretta saw the way that he hesitated and she lowered the lip she had raised. So he was capable of listening, after all. That was a good sign that he had some control over himself. Ever so slowly, she relaxed, allowing him to give her a little nudge. It was impressive that he was allowing her to set the pace, especially considering that his musky scent was growing heavier by the second. She definitely hadn’t expected him to be at all interested in what she wanted, and she had been pretty sure that he would just push her down and take what he considered his.

He was almost...gentle, though. Gentler than she thought possible from such a big alpha, at least. She turned and walked toward the cot of her own accord, knowing full well that she didn’t have much choice in how all of this was going to play out. If she was going to be knotted today, then she might as well try to enjoy it, right? 

The way his scent made her mouth water gave her the feeling that that wouldn’t be too hard.

The soldier watched her with predatory eyes, following every movement closely. Absentmindedly, a hand drifted down to the loose pants he had been provided, palming his already hard cock through the fabric. He liked this omega. He liked how she looked, how she smelled, how she moved...he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her hips as they swayed slightly, a pleased rumble rising in his throat. He knew what was coming next, and he couldn’t wait. He was aching to be inside of her, to fill her up, to knot her...he wanted to make this omega his, and take care of her, and protect her, and he’d be damned if his captors got in the way of that. 

Amoretta climbed onto the cot, her back still turned to the most dangerous alpha on the planet. All too aware that she was completely naked, she crawled onto her hands and knees, dipping down until her chest hit the sheets, her ass up in the air for him. Her primal, omega brain was clamoring for this chance to present before such a big, strong, handsome alpha, and as the cool air tickled at her, she couldn’t help but let out a shrill, needy whine. He was taking too long, and part of her was genuinely worried that he was going to reject her. She was doing everything right, she was submitting, she was in a very vulnerable position...so why wasn’t he already on top of her? 

A tiny bead of slick trickled down her thigh as she glanced back to see him standing there with his hand on his bulge. Oh. So that’s what he was doing instead of jumping on her. At least he was turned on by the sight of her...right?

Wait. Why did she care? Why did she care at all what this terrifying alpha thought about her? This terrifying, big, strong...nice smelling...alpha…

If she weren’t on so many suppressants, she was absolutely sure her heat would have started then and there. He was so goddamn handsome, standing there all shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. Her body wanted him, she wanted him, and if her hormones were allowed to do what they wanted, they would have been absolutely raging.

 His nostrils were flared as he took in her scent, his blue eyes wild and his pupils totally blown out as he finally stalked towards her. His movements were brisk, filled with purpose, the bulge in his pants clearly visible even as she craned her neck to look back at him. 

“A-alpha,” she whined, warmth rushing through her as she spoke. 

The sound of her voice seemed to have an effect on him, a shudder rolling through his body. 

“‘Mega,” he growled, voice impossibly low. “My ‘mega. So obedient...good girl.”

His words had her trembling. 

All at once, he was shoving his pants down and grabbing for her hips, rubbing the length of his cock over her lips. She keened, more and more slick running down her thighs as he pressed the head inside of her. Even though she was loaded up on suppressants, her body wanted him, her cunt already dripping wet and relaxed enough to accommodate his sizable girth. 

Still, the feeling of him stretching her out was absolutely delicious, eliciting a filthy moan that came pouring from her lips as she buried her head against the sheets. He wasn’t gentle by any means, thrusting into her as far as he could go before pulling back out roughly. His pace was harsh and quick, his body immediately caging her in as his chest pressed into her back. He was possessive, trying to hide her from the surveillance cameras he knew were situated in the upper corners of the cell. He didn’t want anyone else to see his omega, especially not while she was beneath him like this. She was his, and his alone. 

As rough as he was, he was still paying attention to her. Somewhat, at least. He was well aware by this point that she was tougher than the other omegas HYDRA had given him, and he took the opportunity to sink into her deeper, fuck her better than he normally could have. She could take him,  all of him, without complaint. She could withstand his harsh grip on her hair as he pulled her head up and forced her back to arch. She didn’t have any problems accepting what was happening to her, her body responding to him happily. 

“Such a good omega,” he grunted, forcing his cock even further into her. 

“I-I want your knot,” she whimpered, her voice surprisingly demanding considering the position she was in. “Fill me up, Alpha…”

How could he deny her?

When he had spilled his seed inside of her and his knot had inflated to a nearly painful extent, he wrapped an arm around her, holding her to his chest as he laid them both down on the cot. He was happy with his choice, with his omega. She was everything he wanted, and as his rut continued for the next few days, he had his way with her again, and again, and again, before HYDRA separated them once more. 

The soldier snarled and roared, refusing to be taken away, but as soon as they recited his trigger words, he was compliant. Amoretta listened and watched, eyes wide as they led him away. She had only spent one rut with him, but she was already head over heels, her heart aching and pining for her alpha to come back to her.

[yoongi-sugaglider]

And So He Walked Alone

Jungkook x reader

apocalypse au

Summary:

What is it that gives us purpose? What drives us as human beings to keep living? A young man finds himself faced with that very question when he discovers himself to be the last remaining human.

Will he walk alone?

Warnings: This one is gonna hurt folks

Word count: 1012

Author’s note:

This is based on one of my infamous dreams. My subconscious likes to hurt me apparently, so when I woke up I decided to frantically write this out so ya’ll could share the ouch. Enjoy~

It had been months since he’d last seen another human face to face. The devastation that’d grabbed hold of him in the beginning, the panic and fear and anger, all had long since faded away from the forefront of his mind. 

After being greeted time and again to the sight of car crashes, the empty shells of planes long since burned to a smoldering hunk of empty and twisted metal, and home after home left in almost pristine condition down to forks dropped to the floor from meals left uneaten he’d finally come to understand the truth. He was absolutely and truly all alo… He needed to set out to find her.

It had started one morning on his way to work. Not thinking that the rental house he shared with his brothers was so very oddly silent, he’d rushed through his morning routine. Thoughts a frantic mess, he’d raced his way through his shower and tugged on clothes wrinkled from having not been folded after he’d pulled them out of the dryer the night before.

She’d have fussed at him had she se….

It wasn’t until he’d actually made it to work that he realized something was wrong. The bypass had been devoid of vehicles, serendipitous to be sure, but when he pulled into the parking lot and saw the burning building that was his place of employment a certain type of dread had filled him.

He’d pulled out his phone, staring down at the empty screen of the video call and struggling with his conscience as to whether to hang it up and call the authorities. Dismissing the thought he’d tucked the phone away, ensuring that the call was still muted before hurrying to the restaurant across the parking lot and stepping inside with a call of hello.

Not a soul had answered him. Despite several vehicles idling in line at the drive-through, not a soul reached his desperate sight as he frantically searched the building for any signs of life. No one answered when he tried to call emergency services, the calls just rang and rang unendingly until finally he’d given up and dropped forlorn into the driver’s seat of his car.

He’d stared out the front windshield, that dread building and building into full blown panic as he’d pulled out his phone and unlocked the screen to the sight of her empty be…

So he wandered for a while, searching and shouting until his throat bled and the tears he’d once shed had all but run dry. Always aware of the phone in his pocket that he kept charged and the call that he hoped and prayed would never drop.

Finally his resolution had hardened and he’d worked up the courage to set out, stopping at barren convenience stores for food and water and gas to fill his tank he had driven. Always seeking and searching in case by some misguided fate some other poor soul was out there that might just share the same fate as him. 

He’d seen animals abound, pets allowed to finally roam free and grow wild once more like their ancestors once had been. Zoo animals who’d had the smarts and wherewithal to escape their enclosures and run free in the streets in suburban environments that rapidly decayed into the  jungle scapes so many of them had been taken from long long ago.

And finally, after so very long of driving and charging and hoping and staring, the call had died. He’d lost his mind for a while. Screaming at the phone that mocked him with its lack of service, repeatedly smashing the call button in vain hopes that maybe…just maybe… Eventually he’d continued on, seeking his destination with a single minded drive that only a man possessed could attain, not allowing the despair to resurface so long as he knew the roads to take and the neighborhoods to pass in order to find just what he was looking for.

And there he sat. The small blue house with that ugly stone facing she’d always mocked staring back at him. Yard left unkempt from almost a year of neglect. The truck she drove sat unused and covered in a thick layer of pollen.

He stared for a night and most of a day before finally steeling his resolve and unbuckling his seat belt to step out of the car. His footsteps echoed on the cracked and ragged walkway as he made his way up to the front door, testing the lock and frowning. He’d always tried to remind her to lock that door, anyone could have just walked in.

The front living room gave off a musty odor, as though no one had been there in so long the walls had even forgotten what it felt like to know a human presence.

He knew the layout very well. Smiling at the pictures hanging on the wall of a young girl grinning and laughing at the camera person.

He’d turned a corner in the hall, eyes widening and tears pouring at the sight that lay before him.

It still smelled of her, the empty bedroom with its pile of unfolded laundry, snack wrappers littering the floor just out of reach of the bed and a laptop that’d been left on and open to a google doc with a story half written, never to be finished.

His fingers traced the edges of the bedspread, eyes lingering on the slight divot in the mattress.

He gingerly picked up the phone, unlocking it to see the thousands of messages he’d sent her every day up until the point where the cellphone towers had stopped sending their signals.

Desperation clenched at his throat. It clung to his knees, buckling him and breaking him as he dropped into her place. 

He curled into the scent of her, sobs forever to go unheard as the truth settled on him with a finality so all encompassing that it shook him to his very core.

She was gone. Really and truly gone. 

And he was doomed to walk alone in the world.

[saabbi]

Regret part 7

Warmth in the freezing snow

Genshin Impact Adeptus!reader au

warnings: light angst?, mentions of drugging and syringes, probably messy, crappy quality

words: ~2.8k

Notes: series is resuming after the hiatus. I had a hard time writing this chapter (because I suck at writing) so I really hope this chapter didn't turn out to be too messy and confusing. ao3 series link

[previous] [next]

Stepping out the ship, you’re immediately greeted by the harsh and nostalgic icy cold breeze. Pure white snowflakes that dance around your vision and the pile of soft snow beneath your feet tells you that you’re back in Snezhnaya.

You asked a subordinate to help you deliver the lantern you had bought for Teucer and obediently followed another Fatui member, who guided you to the chamber where the Tsarista is patiently waiting for your arrival.

“Your highness, I have returned.” You kneeled down on one knee, head lowering to pay your respects. The Tsarista’s ice cold gaze pierces you, making you anxious on why she summoned you.

“My loyal subject.” a voice so calm and quiet, barely to be heard, yet crystal clear and reverberates around the shallow and empty hall, sending a chill down your spine. You look up upon her call, acknowledging that she remains ever so strikingly breath-taking, as resplendent as the most exquisite flower, as elegant as Snezhnaya’s never-melting snow.

“Dottore has found a way to further enhance the capabilities of Fatui, and your aid is needed to achieve it.” She walks closer to you with each step, stopping just before your kneeled figure.

“To achieve it, your aid is necessary. I trust that you will provide all the help Dottore needs dutifully, yes?” A simple question, but her tone indicates that she does not accept rejection as an answer.

“Yes, of course.” The Tsarista seems delighted at your answer, resting her chilly hand on your cheeks and lightly caressing it with her thumb. The subtle intimate gesture however, was nothing resembling that of affection. The Tsarista’s sharp gaze remains fixated on you, yet it doesn’t feel like she’s properly looking at you at all. Her gaze has always been like that, as if she’s looking for something deeper in your soul, but not your existence.

“Dottore, come in. The final mission of our primeval harbinger shall now be performed.” The coldness on your cheeks is replaced by the sudden gushes of wind, the words leaving the Tsarista’s mouth leaving you off guard as you abruptly shot your head up.

“...Your highness? What does that-” Cut off by a harsh slam of the door, you turn to the entrance only to reveal a masked man with curly blue locks- Dottore. The condescending smirk spreading on his face as he meets your wary eyes sets off alarms in your head, screaming that this man is up to no good.

Your hand immediately reaches towards the hilt of your sword resting on your hips, ready to draw it out if he makes any suspicious movements. Furrowing your eyebrows and eyeing Dottore’s every move, unsure of what he would do.

“Relax, relax. This is all under the Tsarista’s orders, doesn’t do too much harm...I guess?” Dottore, now casually twirling a syringe filled with a dangerous-looking fluid, puts his hands up in the air in a placating manner, but his halfhearted response only makes you glare at him cautiously.

“I will have to question you on what you’re about to do, Dottore.” It’s all under the Tsarista’s orders, and you thought it would just be something about training new Fatui recruits, but Dottore’s behaviour insinuates that there is much more than that, and seems like the syringe is to be used on you.

“Oh this? Haha! I’m not quite sure, maybe knock you out for a bit? Y’know, draw out your adeptal powers to the maximum potential, I weaponise it, and voila! Fatui gets a new upgrade! Wonderful plan right?”

Dottore sure made it sound like no big deal, but you know that’s not all the catch. Because if it’s about your adeptal powers, then surely, the Tsarista’s intention is to-

“You’d better not do any stupid movements with your sword, yeah? It would be bad if you were to go against her highness’ orders, after all, you are her most loyal subordinate. Unless… you plan to commit treachery?” Dottore leered as your grip on the sword tightens, conflicted on what to do.

Reluctantly, you peered over to the Tsarista, who has not said a word at the impasse and tense situation between you and Dottore, silently watching everything unfold before her. The Tsarista’s glacial smile never fades as she meets your gaze, not giving you a definite response, but perhaps acknowledging Dottore’s words.

“That’s… not all there is to this, is it?” Despite your loyalty to the Tsarista, this question must be raised for your own sake. Adeptal energy has always been a rather sensitive subject to both you and the Tsarista, with you knowing that she has always wanted to utilise your mysterious powers to help her achieve her goals.

“Quite the sharp one huh? Well I suppose there’s no use beating around the bush, I’ll do you the favour in telling you this- Your adeptal energy is to be drained completely for us to use, ahahaha!” A fit of manical laughter jolted through him, his atrocious appearance matching his abhorrent personality.

“And that would leave me...vulnerable and powerless?” The appalling smirk that makes you want to throw up, the messed up plan that makes you want to run away from the Tsarista’s chambers.

“B i n g o! You neither have a vision nor delusion, so without those powers, you’re pretty much useless.” Dottore approaches you, barely stopping in front of you. Lowering his voice, he mumbled into your ears, “and you’ll be thrown away by the Tsarista, officially being useless to her. I’m sure you know by now, that all her highness cares about is that adeptal energy of yours, and not you yourself?” even at such a low volume, his mockery towards you can clearly be heard.

Of course you knew, that all the Tsarista’s interested in is your mysterious powers. It doesn’t take a detective to figure out her intentions in bringing you to her nation. Even after millennia of you serving her with your utmost loyalty, all she has taken interest in is your powers.

The cold Tsarista that requested you like an object from Morax as a trade of peace, and never paid you much attention. The Tsarista who only shows you some form of affection and addresses your name when she needs you to carry out her plans. To her, it was obvious that you are a mere chess piece, for her to attain her grand goals.

Despite knowing this, you still turned your head once more towards the Tsarista, locking gazes with her, searching for something that even you yourself wasn’t sure what you’re looking for in her eyes, but to no avail, the same empty eyes with no any sort of emotion returning your disappointment. That is how little you meant to her.

It has always been, a foolish hope of yours, to believe that one day, if you stay by her side long enough, you would become a figure that holds much more place in her heart. But that has never been the case, her icy heart never had space for you, locking you out. She has enough love for all the other harbingers, all except you.

The best course of action right now, is to draw out your blade and resist against the Tsarista. You have to defend yourself, you have to get out alive and well, because you promised Zhongli, Xiao, and Ganyu to return. You have to unsheathe your sword right this instant.

But your hands remain frozen, disobeying your commands and desperate internal cries. It should be simple, to protect yourself against those who could not care less about your existence and never acknowledging you, and flee to Liyue. So why can’t you bring yourself to do so?

Because it would mean that you’re defying the person whom your loyalty is dedicated to, denying the Tsarista’s ambitions.

The same Tsarista who ripped you apart from your family, but also the one who gave you a new identity, and a new place to call home, giving you a reason to live on by serving her.

And you who watched over her carefully throughout your lifetime; when she became obsessed with the idea of bringing down celestia, to the point where delusions are invented just for the sole purpose of resisting against the sacred land where gods are rumoured to reside.

You never found out the reason behind her obstinacy in bringing down celestia, but you stayed beside her long enough to witness her desire for power and authority to continue to expand into a bottomless abyss, and the times when she struggled.

Times when her immature plans backfired, times she felt livid and Snezhnaya would be in raging blizzards for weeks, times when she doubted her own decisions. You were always there, by her side and ready to jump into action whenever she needed you to.

Through trial and error, she learned to develop well thought-out plans after calculations and taking precautionary measures, and recruited talented individuals. The harder she falls, the higher she bounces. She was undeniably a dazzling existence to you.

The Tsarista is a blinding lone star that continues to glisten even if other stars have faded, showing its resistance towards the devouring night sky. Someone so cruel and brutal, yet ever so resplendent, that you couldn’t peel your eyes off her.

A star that defies the night sky.

And you, who only knew how to live under orders and pretty much lived a tedious life besides carrying out Fatui duties, are dull and have long succumbed to darkness.

So how could you deny her? The one who never faltered, the flames of ambition that refuses to die out no matter what? You couldn’t bring yourself to betray her even at this very moment, because you have watched over her for far too long.

“This turned out to be rather...disappointing.” Seeing you loosening your grip on the sword and putting down your defenses, Dottore scoffs.

You take a sharp inhale, making up your mind. Regretfully, your decision is to stay loyal to the Tsarista and faithfully do as she wishes up until the very end. A very foolish decision even you are aware of, and one that makes your heart scream in agony knowing that you’re once again being thrown away. Even so, this is the path you have chosen.

.

.

.

Drained, you felt. It felt as if your powers erupted all at once, and got sucked dry by a vacuum cleaner and left to die on the road. Your role as the twelfth harbinger has been dismissed, now just an identity-less wanderer. The Tsarista truly is a cruel person, you thought, to just throw you out and let you crawl away all by your own whilst surrounded by nothing but coldness and snow, knowing that you right now are incredibly weak and vulnerable. She didn’t even have someone to escort you to a shelter, simply took away your harbinger identification with the usual eerie smile.

But archons do you feel horrible, dizzy and nauseous, on the verge of passing out. Now that you’ve lost your place, where would you go? Tired, cold and nowhere to go, you lean on a nearby bark to grab a hold of yourself, trying figure out what to do from now on.

Slumping down and shutting your eyes, you are forced to face your own emotions that you have repressed in the Tsarista’s chambers. Your heart aches so much, the strong pulsations being the only thing resounding in your ears, it hurts more than how your body is right now.

What a pathetic destiny you face, to be thrown away whom you trusted and served twice in your lifetime. It hurts so much, your heart continuously screams to you, not forgiving the way you hurt it so severely. So pathetic, you are so pathetic, you thought.

Even after millennia, you still never found a place you truly belonged to, your miserable and pathetic self was not accepted anywhere. You know very well the Tsarista has always been using you, yet facing the harsh reality is not as easy as you thought.

Wouldn’t it be better if the abyss consumed you? To be embraced by darkness and vanish, not having to face pointless emotions and drama? If only your eyes never opened back from the first time you dirtied your own hands, and instead swallow by the cold and hungry arms of demise- if you only died back then, would you still have to face such circumstances?

“...Hey, comrade.” a light whisper of a familiar voice enters your ears, dragging you back from your thoughts. You looked up at the one who called for you, only to find your vision blurry and cheeks feeling wet and cold. You didn’t even realise droplets of tears had trickled down your cheeks, you are even surprised that you’re capable of crying, you hadn’t shed a tear, let alone cry out loud for so long that you had forgotten how it felt.

Childe crawls closer, slowly wrapping you into a warm hug and gently strokes you on the head like how he has treats his siblings. You feel embarrassed to be comforted by someone much younger than you and being treated like a child, but returned the hug nonetheless. Not knowing how much you needed a hug, you find his embrace to be pleasant and safe.

“There’s a ship heading to Liyue, so let’s get you home to where it’s warm and safe, yeah?” Home, Childe said, you wanted to retort, but somehow ‘home’ and ‘Liyue’ just sounded right. Is it okay if you return there? To seek asylum?

“Come on comrade, it’d be devastating if you missed the ride!” slumping your weak arms over his shoulders and a hand on your waist to support you, lifting you onto your feet to lead you to the harbour.

“I-I’m sorry for what happened, and that I...I couldn’t help you. If I had known what Dottore was scheming, I would have talked to the Tsarista and convince her not to adopt such a brutal method.” His cheery voice is replaced by one with remorse, avoiding your eyes.

“I didn’t know Dottore came up with such an outrageous method, the Tsarista didn’t inform us of her plan! I- I should’ve known Dottore was up to no good! I could’ve done something-” Getting agitated, his speech hastens and stumbles over his own words.

“Hey, hey. Calm down, you know it’s not your fault.” You cut him off, giving him a soft slap on the back. “The Tsarista had such plans a long time ago, she just...never found the right methods until today, I guess.”

Somehow, it only made Childe feel even worse, guilt and sympathy all shown on his face.

“Come on, where’s your usual jolly self? A gloomy expression doesn't suit you at all. Teucer and Tonia will be worried for their #1 toymaker of Snezhnaya.” you mustered a feeble smile, assuring him that you’re fine.

“Well, never thought I’d hear you crack a joke after all these years…” Childe’s lips curve into a relieved and playful smile. Although, you have to admit, it does makes you feel better knowing that he’s worried for you.

.

.

.

“This is the Crux, you might’ve seen their crew around Liyue before. I spoke with the captain, and it’s a huge relief that she accepted our request!” You and Childe stumbled into the guest room that is kindly lent to you, with Childe immediately helping you get on the bed and wrapping you in blankets.

“You had a not-so-pleasant eventful day, it’s best if you warm up and rest now. I can’t go back with you, but I’ve contacted Zhongli, he should be there to pick you up when you arrive.” with a soft tone, Childe picks up your hand and gently strokes your palms, taking a note of your pale complexion, you remind him of his siblings when they were sick. He turns to leave you alone, about to close the door.

“Hey, Childe?” He abruptly stops and turns back to you with a concerned look, worried if you’re still feeling unwell and perhaps he could help.

“Thank you.” but only two simple words came out of your mouth. So simple and short, but more than enough to convey the gratitude and respect you held for him.

Childe breaks into a beaming smile, “Of course! We’re friends after all, right comrade? I think I’m even your best friend!” to which you chuckled. Yeah, you suppose he isn’t wrong on that.

Just before he closes the door completely, he halts and opens his mouth, “Teucer adored your gift, he and Tonia wanted to prepare something in return… I’ll bring it to you next time, yeah? And perhaps drink tea too at Zhongli’s?”

“Yes, I shall look forward to dear Teucer and Tonia’s gift then, it’s a promise.” You feel your consciousness slip away, closing your eyes and replying to Childe with a light smile on your face.

“It’s a promise!” He enthusiastically replied, only to realise he should tone it down to let you sleep in peace. “Sweet dreams, comrade.” Just before passing out on your bed, you hear Childe’s almost inaudible reply and a click on the door shutting close.

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The Greatest Healing Therapy Is Friendship (And Love) (Tobin Heath x Reader)

Leaving physical therapy one day, Tobin Heath becomes enthralled with the sound of a nearby voice, which inevitably leads her to you, a patient with a bad heart, and a kind smile. 

Tobin Heath was far from happy.  

Injuries happened from time to time, but being benched for 10-12 weeks, for not only a number of Manchester United games, but the She Believe’s Cup as well put Tobin in an incredibly foul mood, a rain cloud hanging over her head.  

She stops midstride when she hears someone barking out a laugh, the sound making her head turn back and forth in search of its source.  

“Listen, you and I both know this food is shit.”  

Tobin’s brows arch as she peeks into a nearby room. She wasn’t the type to intrude, but for some reason she felt pulled forward by the voice.  

Tobin watches a crinkle form between your brows as you turn her way, though moments later a smile stretches across your face.  

“Look there, let’s get a second opinion.” You grin, nodding to Tobin.  

“So stranger, this food sucks, right? I mean, don’t even get me started on the Jello...”  

Tobin clears her throat, shaking her head.  

“I-I haven’t had it.”  

You sigh, your head hanging in defeat.  

“Sorry to say stranger, but you’ve let me down.” You frown, your head lolling towards the nurse.  

“The food’s still shit.”  

The nurse rolls her eyes, but she can't deter the smile that stretches across her face.  

“You still have to eat Y/N.”  

The nurse shakes her head as she leaves the room.  

You whine.  

“Ey! Can I get some Popeyes? Taco Bell?”

“No!” You hear the nurse shout and you groan, your hand resting on your chest.  

You turn to Tobin with an arched brow.

“I’m not sure if we’ve ever met stranger, I’m Y/N.”  

Tobin steps towards the bed with a smile, her eyes darting from the multiple machines around you to the wires that lead down the front of your hospital gown. 

“Mind the attire.” You chuckle and Tobin smiles.  

“I’m Tobin.” She whispers, nodding to the machines.  

“What happened?” She asks curiously and you sigh.  

“Heart attack, I know, I know, how can someone as young and good looking as me have a heart attack?” You smirk, the woman unable to bite back a grin.  

“I didn't know heart disease was hereditary until I ended up in the hospital because of it.” You sigh tiredly.  

After a lengthy yawn, you turn to Tobin.

“So, Tobin, what is the purpose of your visit?” You ask and she shrugs.  

“Just had to see who was going so hard at the nurse.” She smiles and you snort. 

“Eh, I’ve been here for a while, they’re used to it by now.” You shrug, your eyelids fluttering.  

“Well Tobin, it was nice meeting you, feel free to drop by next time you’re in, I’ll probably be here.” You sigh, unable to fight off sleep.  

Tobin smiles, her brown orbs on you as you slowly drift off.  

Tobin’s smile splits into a grin.  

“Nice meeting you too, Y/N. I might take you up on that.”  

                                                             ***

It’s a day or two later that Tobin finds herself limping down the same hallway, the woman coming to a stop in front of a particular patient’s door.  

She slowly pushes the door open, poking her head inside.  

“Anybody home?” She asks as she knocks on the door, the woman receiving no response.  

Tobin frowns.  

She’d hoped to see you after a tough day of physical therapy, but unfortunately, it looked as if that wasn’t going to happen.  

“I see you took me up on my offer.”  

Tobin turns around, smiling when she sees you being wheeled towards her by the nurse from the other day, a massive grin on your face.  

“I was in the neighborhood.” Tobin shrugs and you chuckle.  

“Boot looks good on you.” You wink and Tobin snorts.  

“Sure, it does.”  

You nod towards the door.  

“Let me get hooked back up and then you can come in, I’m pretty sure we’re not to the point where you’re okay with seeing me naked.” You snort, Tobin’s eyes widening as her cheeks flush.  

“Ye-Ye-Yeah.”  

You lean your head back.  

“Ready driver?”

The nurse rolls her eyes, unable to hold back a giggle.  

“To get you out of my hair?”  

You pout, your hand resting on your chest.  

“You wound me so.”  

Tobin shakes her head, the woman leaning against a nearby wall as she waits for you to get dressed.  

Moments later the door is swinging open, the nurse from before making her way out with a smile.  

“She’s decent.”  

Tobin pushes off the wall before making her way into your room, the woman smiling when she sees you.  

You give her a wave.  

“Haven’t seen you in agessssssssss!” You snicker and Tobin rolls her eyes, pulling a nearby chair to the side of your bed before flopping down into it.  

“What’s your damage anyway?” You ask and Tobin nods to her boot.  

“Ankle.”  

You grimace.  

“How’d you do that?”  

“Playing soccer.”  

You hum.  

Tobin nods to you.  

“How’d...” Tobin points to your chest and you sigh.  

“I was jogging. My chest got really tight and I went down like a sack of potatoes.” You shrug.  

“I woke up with a tube down my throat and an incision down my chest.”

Tobin frowns, glancing around the room, her frown deepening when she realizes there’s no balloons, or even a get well soon card.  

You sigh, your eyelids fluttering.  

“Do you have any family?” She asks, the words surprising her immensely.  

Your brow arches.  

“Pretty personal question Tobes-

“I’m sorry I-

“I’m kidding, no, I don’t.”  

Tobin nods.  

“I’m sorry.”  

You smirk.  

“Hey, I don’t need visitors, not when I have you.” You grin, not even opening your eyes, meaning you miss the flush on Tobin’s cheeks.  

You murmur, doing your best to fight off sleep, but you find it impossible.  

Tobin smiles.  

“Sleep Y/N, we’ll talk another day.”  

You smile tiredly.  

“I like the sound of that.”  

                                                             ***

The next time Tobin enters your room, she’s carrying not only a balloon, but a teddy bear, as well as a get well soon card.  

Her lips part, the woman about to greet you, but when she realizes you’re fast asleep her mouth snaps shut.  

Instead of tip toing out of the room, she places your gifts on a nearby table and takes up residence in a nearby chair.  

Lately, Tobin found herself excited to come to physical therapy, because coming to the hospital meant seeing you.  

Seeing you had become the best part of her week, so much so that sitting on the sidelines and watching the others play at the She Believe's Cup hadn’t been bothering her as much as it typically would be.  

Tobin pulls her legs up into the chair, wrapping her arms around them, her knees hugged to her chest.  

She was exhausted, the colder the nights got, the worse her foot cramped, meaning she got little to no sleep more often than not.  

Soon, Tobin finds her own eyelids fluttering, the woman fighting off sleep, though she loses the fight rather quickly, exhaustion overwhelming her as she falls fast asleep.  

                                                             ***

A soft, yet noticeable snoring is what wakes you sometime later, your brows furrowing as your eyes crack open.  

You hum, wiping the sleep from your eyes as you turn towards the source of the snoring.  

A smile stretches across your face when you realize the snoring is coming from Tobin, the woman fast asleep in the chair beside your bed.  

You grin when out of the corner of your eye you spot a bright balloon, the air-filled rubber bouncing slightly with the air condition’s aid.  

You shake your head when your eyes find the teddy bear resting just below the balloon.  

Tobin grimaces as she wakes, the woman stretching her arms above her head with a groan.

“Morning.” You smile, your eyes still locked onto the tiny toy resting on the nearby table.  

Tobin quickly realizes you’re staring at the plush bear and smiles.  

“Do you like it?” She asks with a yawn and you nod, turning towards her, your eyes glazed over.  

“Yeah, yeah I really do.”

Tobin grimaces, the woman rubbing her booted foot.  

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” She blushes and you shake your head.  

“I just woke up anyway, thanks to your snoring.”  

Tobin scoffs.  

“I do not snore.”  

You snort.  

“Then what were you doing, gargling your spit?”  

Tobin’s eyes narrow, the woman giving your arm a playful shove.  

“Shut up.”  

You laugh, a belly shaking laugh that makes your chest ache, your hand immediately jumping to your chest.  

Tobin springs to her feet, the woman ducking down beside you.  

“Are you alright?” She asks as she places a hand on your back, the feel of her palm on your bare back making you blush.  

“Ye-Yeah, just some chest pains.”  

Tobin worriedly glances over her shoulder.  

“Should I get a nurse?”  

You shake your head, giving Tobin a small smile.  

“It’ll pass.”  

Tobin pulls her chair closer to your bedside and sits down, her hand still resting on your bare shoulder.  

The pain eventually passes, though the flush on your cheeks doesn’t fade considering Tobin’s palm is still flat on your back, her thumb running back and forth across your tanned flesh.  

You sigh, smiling when Tobin gently guides you back, your head hitting the soft pillow behind your head.  

“You should rest.” She whispers, the woman tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear.  

You hum.  

“Not yet, you’re here.”  

Tobin smiles.  

“I can always come back.”  

You hum, the corner of your mouth ticking downwards slightly.  

“You know, I’ll be getting out of here eventually, hopefully soon.”  

Tobin nods, silently, the last thing she wanted to do was lose contact with you, especially when seeing you had made her heart skip a beat and her palms sweat with nerves.  

She knew what she felt for you was more than friendship, and the thought of losing you made her stomach churn.  

“I uhhh, I live here, in Portland you know...? Do-Do you live here? In P-Portland I mean...” You wiggle nervously, unable to look at the woman beside you.  

Tobin bites her bottom lip hard to stave off a grin, the flush on your cheeks making her heart flutter in her chest.  

She hoped, hoped maybe what she felt for you was returned, and by the way you were currently acting, it seemed it was.

“It almost sounds like you want to see me after you leave the hospital...” She grins and your eyes widen.  

“Uhh... I-I mean...”  

Your typical humor and cockiness fell away in that moment as you stuttered, unable to find the words you were searching for.  

Your cheeks flush darker and darker as you stumble over your words, only saved when Tobin takes your hand, and gives it a squeeze.  

You fall silent, your wide eyes dropping down to your joined hands before your eyes eventually meet Tobin’s.  

She gives your hand a squeeze, her smile splitting into a bright grin that makes her brown orbs shine.

“I think I’d like to see you after too.”  

Tobin laughs as she visibly watches your eyes lighten up.  

“R-Really?” You stutter and she nods.  

“Really.”  

                                                             ***

Tobin walked through the hospital with a bit of pep in her step, the knowledge that you possibly felt the same way about her as she felt about you made her incredibly hopeful for the future.  

She makes her way into your room with a smile, expecting to see you waiting for her, she’s taken aback though when she finds an empty bed.  

Her brows furrow, her eyes zeroing in on the teddy bear and the get well soon balloon she’d brought you days before.  

She turns, making her way out of the room, her head on a swivel in search of the nurse she’d seen in your room so often.

“She didn’t make it?”  

Tobin stiffens, a lump forming in her throat.  

“She’d been complaining of chest pains, she had a second heart attack this morning, we couldn’t revive her.”  

Tears welled up in Tobin’s eyes, the woman dropping to her knees in the middle of the hospital’s hallway.  

You couldn’t be gone, you just couldn’t be, not after everything, not after being through so much, you couldn’t be gone.  

“Tobin, are you alright?”  

Tobin picks her head up, tears streaming down her cheeks as she looks up at the nurse who’d tended to you each and every day.  

“She can’t be gone; she just can’t be.” Tobin sniffs, brown orbs filled with tears as she stares at the nurse who’s brows furrow.  

“What are you-

“Tobin!? Tobin are you okay!?”

Tobin stiffens, her head snapping up in search of your all too familiar voice.  

Teary brown orbs zero in on you, you who are currently jumping out of your wheelchair and running down the hall towards her, gown long gone, your new clothes clinging to your form. 

You drop to your knees in front of her and cup her cheeks, your thumbs wiping away the tears covering her face.  

“Hey, hey what’s wrong? Are you okay? What happened???” You ask, your eyes darting worriedly around her face.  

Tobin simply stares at you for a moment, her shaky, clammy hands moving to cover your own.  

“Your room was empty, a-a-and the nurses said they lost someone... I thought...” 

You blink, your eyes widening when you realize what Tobin had thought.  

You shake your head, attempting to swallow the lump in your throat as you lean in, your forehead resting against hers.  

“It wasn’t me, I’m okay.” You whisper, your eyes fluttering shut.  

Unconsciously, Tobin’s hand leaves yours, instead moving towards your chest.

Your eyes widen, your cheeks flushing as her hand meets your chest, the woman sighing in relief at the feel of your heart, beating beneath her palm.  

Your hand leaves her cheek, moving to cover hers that’s currently resting on your chest.  

“I’m okay.” You repeat, your heart skipping a beat when Tobin’s fingers slip between your own.  

Tobin takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm her racing heart, but considering the proximity between the two of you, it’s a bit hard.  

Tobin’s teary brown orbs drop to your lips before again locking with your Y/E/C’s, 

Your eyes widen when you realize Tobin’s leaning in, the woman’s nose lightly grazing your own.  

A chill runs through you, your eyes fluttering shut in anticipation as Tobin’s lips brush yours, the kiss unlike any kiss you’d had before.  

You bring your free hand up to her cheek, your thumb caressing her tanned flesh.  

The two of you part only to lean right back in seconds later, unable to get enough of the feel of your lips against one another’s.  

You tilt your head to the side, changing the angle of the kiss as your lips meet again and again, something you’d been craving since the moment you woke to find her sleeping at your bedside.  

Again, you part, though neither of you pull away, Tobin leaning back in to rest her forehead against your own.  

Brown orbs flutter open as a red flush dances across Tobin’s cheeks, the woman unable to bite back a grin.  

“And now?” Tobin whispers, your brows furrowing in question.  

“How do you feel now?” She asks in a whisper and you chuckle.  

“A lot more than okay.”  

[youryanderedaddy]

♡100 followers special♡

Guys, I would like to thank all of you for all the support since I started this blog, you are the best <3 Btw this is the fic Elon Musk doesn’t want you to see lol, jk jk 

Title: Humanity

Words: 3.6k 

Summary: When you get sold to an odd looking robot after the last failure of a rebellion, things go better than you had expected. Until they don’t. 

tw: robot/AI apocalypse au, dystopia au, slavery, slight non - sexual public nudity, discrimination, vulgar language, mention of death and child abuse (in the past), obsessive behavior, non - consensual touching, angst 

              AD 3061y., 14 September

 Your hometown was in ruins, shattered by the Forces and left without any source of food, clean water or reliable manpower. The rebellion had failed just like the first ten attempts and as much as you had wanted to believe this time would be different, your dreams stayed nothing more than a way to cope with the harsh reality. Any intelligent individual had either managed to flee before the prosecution or died in agony while trying. You could still hear their pained screams ringing in your ear, the desperate look in their pupils sealed forever in your mind along with the sound of heavy breathing slowly fading into the background like your own hopes for a better future.

 The ones who decided to play meek and close their eyes to the inhuman torture happening in the area were spared, but what awaited them could potentially be worse than death itself. You were part of the flock of pitiful weak humans who had surrendered to the heartless machines wanting nothing more than to see mankind squirm and kneel underneath their mechanic heel like a bug. And now you would face the hour of judgment – tired and exhausted, heavy rusty chains around your bruised ankles making every next step a little harder than the last one. But you were certain that the most painful humiliating event hadn’t taken place yet and the thought made your blood run cold. You could recall the countless stories you used to hear on the streets from your friends about androids stealing kids and selling them like cattle to the most powerful leaders of society. Back then you would laugh at them, finding the ideas ridiculous, better fit for a conspiracy theory or a legend rather than an actual threat. But during that time life was easier – the robots were still your friends, just your average citizens, equal to the humans in every manner. It wasn’t until ten years later that some of them realized just how much better, stronger and smarter than the people they really were. That’s how the apocalypse started and that’s how it was going to end. These days the mortals were becoming extinct with the population cut down to one million. You didn’t have names or rights to any possession. Your mere survival had one purpose only – to entertain the machines so they could feel human again. And right now you were being dragged to Soraq, also known as the biggest slave market in the country.

----

 It was just as terrifying as you had imagined it to be. The Capital was supposed to express wealth, luxury and maybe even happiness but your old human views were easily opposed when faced with the mud  covering what was left of the pavement and the pale exhausted bodies of the mortals wandering the streets searching for a hot meal and a little bit of kindness it was clear no one wanted to provide. You reached out to help a young girl sobbing all by herself on the ground but the Officer roughly yanked your shoulder back and ordered you to keep going – his cold hard touch was enough to bruise your skin.

 After a few long minutes of uncertainty your keeper finally stopped, pulling you up some black stairs leading to a small stage and if you weren’t too busy looking around for the others who were captured, you might have noticed the crowd gathered inches away from you. Soon enough you were forced to redirect your attention as you heard the approving screams and cheering below. There were hundreds of robots staring at you, smirking maliciously, pinning you with their cold calculating gazes. You finally realized that this wasn’t just a bad dream or a nightmare, something unreal you could easily run away from by opening your eyes. You were about to become property and the worst part was the way the cruel machines perfectly resembled people – they looked the same except for the dark red pupils each possessed which glowed when going into a fight mode. But unlike humans the androids had gotten rid of their most intimate emotions and fears, turning themselves into empty shells, shiny and murderous with no way to experience anything properly, be it pleasure or pain.

 “Ladies and gentlemen!” The Officers started off with a low chuckle, his heavy hand wrapped tightly around your arm. His voice should have been programmed to be monotone but now it had a playful edge to it. “Today our dear subjects have decided to be feisty yet again. They still haven’t learned their lesson it seems.” He grinned eerily, quickly followed by the mocking laugher of the crowd. Some even shouted slurs and insults but you tried to focus on controlling your feelings. You needed to stay calm if you wanted to survive. “We really can’t expect more from the mankind. They are primal after all, they just can’t learn from their mistakes.” The male robot paused for a second to fix his microphone. “It’s in their DNA code to be foolish and pathetic. That’s why we need to take better care of them.” He whispered the last line down your neck and despite knowing that the machines didn’t have actual lungs, you could swear you felt his cold breath on your sensitive skin.

 “The woman is in her early twenties. Her background is unknown, but she certainly looks like someone you would want in your collection.” The android continued talking as if you weren’t there, his hands all over your tinier frame. The mass was yelling, but you only made out the words „down”, „strip” and „human”. Your eyes watered involuntarily and you let the tears stream down your cheeks in spite of the weakness they showed. It didn’t matter – it couldn’t get any worse so you could at least let yourself experience such little bits of comfort. In the next moment the Officer ripped your old ragged t-shirt, exposing your breasts to the cold autumn air. The hot red humiliation washed over you as the degrading whistles pierced trough your heart. It was such a cruel unfair punishment and you couldn’t even keep your composure long enough to not break down ugly – crying right there.

 “The bidding starts at one thousand eros!” The robot’s evil voice echoed through the area, reaching the market borders. Suddenly all the attention was on your scared vulnerable half-naked self. More than ten androids raised their hands, making your stomach turn in terror. Most of them had unpleasant appearances, resembling old people, usually men. “Do we have two thousand eros?” The officer added quickly afterwards having seen the shown interest. This time there were only five bots willing to buy you for so much money – but the show was far from over. “Am I seeing three thousand eros?” Your keeper kept going, determined to drain your bidders off their wealth, but to his utmost surprise now there were only two robots with their hands in the air – one seemingly younger and the other looking all wrinkled and bitter at the world. You silently prayed that fate would work in your favor only this time and hand you over to the man who would treat you more like a living being and less like an object.

 “Ten thousand eros.” Suddenly the android with a kinder appearance declared out loud, his cold stern gaze fixed onto you. The other male hesitated for a moment, probably wondering whether or not you were worth so much money, but at the end he cursed under his breath and slowly put his hand down with a sour expression. “Sold to K-010 for ten thousand eros!” The automatic voice of the Officer was ringing in your ear like an alarm while the crowd was shouting and cussing, some going as far as to criticize your new owner for giving up his monthly salary for a “cheap human whore”. Next he was invited on the stage to sign off all the needed documents leading to your freedom being ripped away forever and you were injected with a tiny chip which would make your location visible to your buyer at any given time. The android looked at you soon after and in one swift move he managed to place his leather coat on your shoulders, muttering at you to cover up. You obeyed, embarrassed by the reminder that your upper half was still fully exposed to all the hungry prying immortals. When the chains were finally removed, the robot took you by the hand and led you to a small white flying car with a yellow lily drawn on top – the brand was popular among the most powerful members of the Forces.

 “Don’t even think about running away.” K-010 growled when he noticed the way your attention drifted to the nearby road before finally taking your seat. You knew it was pointless now that the tracking device was deep into your skin but deep down you still couldn’t kill the last bit of hope screaming at you to do something before you were too far away to find home again, wherever it was. “If you so much as look outside while we drive, I will use my lasers to turn you into ash. Okay?” You nodded meekly and sank into the soft comfortable seat, wishing that your body would stop shaking in fear but to no avail.

---

 The journey was long and silent but it made you remember the days when music was still allowed and you used to turn the radio all the way up in your mother’s car. You would sing loudly until your throat hurt and your friends would ask you to just shut up and focus on the road. Everything was so normal and happy back then. The stinging nostalgia threatened to overcome so you tried to focus on something else. You finally faced your owner in an attempt to study his appearance. He was probably in his late twenties, his hair white with some black locks here and there, a fashion trend you usually didn’t care much for. You couldn’t afford to bother with your hairstyle when you were constantly running for your life after all. The robotic male had sun-kissed brown skin, he was taller than most human men and his lips seemed softer than most robots’. But the biggest mystery laid in his deep dark eyes, they looked scarlet at first but the more you stared, the easier it was to realize the color was actually brown.

 “Are you a cyborg, K-010?” You asked in a small voice out of the blue, breaking the peace and quiet in the air. The android didn’t spare you much attention with his gaze fixed onto the open sky serving as a road, still he opened his mouth slightly to respond. “My name is Kyle, the numbers are just a formality.” He inhaled sharply as if he was reminiscing a bad memory. “And yes, I am biologically human – just with a few practical upgrades.” You had heard of such people before, the ones willing to become an experiment so they could join the high society oppressing their own neighbors, friends and relatives, setting the lands on fire and destroying the dying environment but you had never met one until today. Honestly, you felt betrayed. It was one thing to be some unfeeling machine’s plaything and entirely another to be owned by someone with a functioning heart even though they weren’t too keen on using it properly.

 “Why would you do that?” You couldn’t stop the question from leaving your lips in the next moment. “You should know what humans have to go through just to stay alive. Today hundreds of us were crushed and sold like some animals! Yet you changed yourself to appeal to their disgusting standards.” You raised your voice, the hot tears already spilling down your cheeks yet again, your fists clenched in pure anger at the foolish greedy man. He simply shook his head and leaned back. “I had my reasons, sweetheart. You don’t know anything.” With that the conversation had ended, you could try and argue or even blame him for being a selfish bastard but it wouldn’t have done you any good so you decided against it. It didn’t matter much anymore.

----

 A few months went by slowly even though time meant little to someone in your position. Living with Kyle wasn’t as terrible as you thought it would be – his mansion was big and spacious, luxurious even. You had your own room and you were allowed to explore the house in your free time. You didn’t have many duties to attend to, your work mostly revolved around cooking, cleaning and keeping company with your owner when he was too tired to keep the robotic mask on and just wanted something sweet, something weak, something more human around. He didn’t want much out of you so you tried to do your best and stay on his good side – there was always a warm meal waiting at the table at night, every window was carefully wiped from the previous dust and the glass was now shining brightly, and you would listen for hours on end to the cyborg’s ramblings no matter how dreadful it could be sometimes.

 But it couldn’t be denied that the man had some odd habits, even if you were to overlook him buying a living being instead of simply hiring a maid. For example, you knew how thin the walls actually were because you could hear him cry almost every night. The half-robot would hold you close any time the news were too loud or a bottle of beer had fallen and shattered on the ground. Still you weren’t allowed to leave his home so all the doors leading to the outside world were locked while he was away or at work. And there were these weird long cuts on his shoulders you had managed to take notice of the first time your master had asked you to bathe him. You hadn’t meant to prey upon his naked form, but the task had been so awkward you needed something to focus on to drive the unpleasant thoughts away. The injuries looked deep and the man would close his eyes any time the soap made contact with them. Finally one day you gathered the courage to ask him what had caused the raw scratches. You were messaging his scalp gently, applying jasmine in his roots, trying to soothe his nerves and get to the information.

 “ ’S not important. ” K-010 answered lazily while arching his back into your touch. More often than not the male would melt under your care and you couldn’t help but wonder just how lonely it was to be neither a human nor a machine. “She is dead now.” He whispered darkly, secretly hoping it wouldn’t reach your ear, yet it did. “Who is dead?” You questioned him after a while, stroking his wet locks until you heard him moan. You were getting better and better at provoking a reaction from the cyborg and despite knowing it was manipulative and a little devious, he was still the ruthless owner who held your one and only life in his palms. You needed to be sneaky if you wanted a safe, comfortable life.

 “My mother.” Kyle added quickly before looking at the blue ceiling, the glossy material copying both of your reflections. The mention of the woman made the sensitive skin of his nape crawl but he kept talking. “The crazy bitch used to beat me every. She even tried to kill me a couple of times.” A slight smile appeared on his full red lips. “It didn’t work out in the end, unfortunately.” So that’s where the cuts were from – he had been violated in his childhood by no other than the person supposed to look after him. You had always hated abusive parents taking advantage of their authority and even now your own imagination made your heart ache at the picture it painted. A small boy being hit over and over until there his whole body was bruised and bloodied. A child with no one to turn to. It didn’t excuse your master’s evil doing but it certainly explained a lot. “Don’t make such a sad face, darling.” He cooed at you, reaching out to pinch your cheek. “I will always be grateful to the Forces since they gave me the power I needed to finally free myself from her grasp. I even buried her myself after everything was said and done.” Kyle grinned from side to side like a little kid waiting to be praised for the picture they had drawn, except now the man was speaking of the way he had murdered his mother. You were at a total loss of words, suddenly too frightened to respond.

 “What’s so special about being a human anyways?” The cyborg grumbled, sounding almost offended of the words you still haven’t said but were definitely thinking deep down. You were staring forward unable to draw away from that one crack in the wall, his words flying above your head. Your confusion was interrupted by the man quickly raising to his knees and catching both of your hands with his strong robotized ones. The cold touch of the metal combined with the camouflage of a soft skin was enough to mess your mind even further into the maze that was his dark gaze. Next thing you knew the male had you pinned on the hard ground, spotlessly clean and reeking of abstergent. You tried to squirm away but the hold of your wrists was too tight and strong to even make your struggling worth the trouble. “Just look at how weak you humans are.” K-010 taunted you, smirking teasingly, cruelly, yet there was something desperate in his eyes, something hidden. “You are so fragile I could probably break you if I were to press harder on your flesh.” He whispered into your ear, breathing down your neck as he dug his icy fingers into your collarbone and made you whimper pathetically at the dull pain. “People are foolish creatures, illogical by nature. They try to fight authority yet the moment they are left with a free choice, they find a way to run from their responsibilities.” The cyborg chuckled maliciously while digging his nails further into your skin.

 “We might be doomed forever because of our emotions but there is something you fail to consider.” You finally spoke out despite your rapid heartbeat and fear so great it could defeat death herself. The predator already had you in his sharp claws and there was no pointing in playing coy anymore. The worst had come to worst. Your words caught the attention of the half-robot and he licked his lips in anticipation to hear what you had to say. “Unlike the androids we can still experience love. And at the end a life without love is a life wasted in the big picture. We might be mortal but you are the ones waiting to die instead of living.” You spat at the man fiercely, ready to face any punishment he would bestow upon your weak tired body for the sheer honesty. Instead he started laughed maniacally, the sound so loud it hit the ceiling and echoed through the house like a pained scream and so violent his shoulders shook to the sides. For the first time his eyes were glowing in a bright red color so saturated and vivid you couldn’t stand to look at them.

 “This is really funny, my little human.” Kyle pronounced carefully, having calmed down. He lowered his head so that his lips were ghosting over yours, just brushing against them. “I belong with neither humans nor robots so why does my chest ache every time I look at you? Tell me, darling, am I in love?” His voice was harsh, husky – as if he was purposely trying to sound evil but the tears in his eyes pointed at another feeling. A raw painful feeling.

 You couldn’t reply not only because you had no idea what to say after the confession but also because you couldn’t breathe properly with his pretty, wicked face so close to yours. Your silence only managed to stir the cyborg up further into his madness and he kissed you roughly, hungrily lapping and biting at your lips until they were sore and bruised, the robotic man more than happy to lick the small drops of blood off. For a moment you considered kicking or shouting for help but there wasn’t anyone willing to in the radius of kilometers. No one of significance cared much about the few remaining mortals. “I could never love you.” You uttered weakly, half – heartedly pushing the man away. You were all alone in this and there wasn’t really a point in fighting someone so much bigger and stronger, yet a sad little part of you hoped that Kyle would leave you alone if you made it clear enough just how much his actions were hurting you.

  “It’s fine if you don’t love me by choice.” Your master replied calmly in a cold piercing voice. His hands were wandering through your form stopping at your hips to draw them into his. The pretty dress you used to like so much was now crumpled and reeking of him, torn apart from your shivering body and thrown away. You wished you could cry but all the adrenaline had left you too uneasy to process the pain and fear. Kyle whispered in your ear while stroking your hair gently and it made you feel like a trembling sheep before a starved butcher. “I own you, little human.” He placed a small kiss on your hot sensitive neck. “And I have enough love for both of us.”