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#and michael questions them both on it and it becomes increasingly clear that both of them were literally just speed-running amatanormativit
bowenoke · 1 year
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Just. Had an idea for a beeduo comic. In the Year Of Our Lord 2023?? am I possessed? Is it the fever??? girl this Sickness is Kicking My Ass
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brokehorrorfan · 7 months
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Blu-ray Review: Unlawful Entry
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Box office draw is anything but predictable, but Hollywood sure likes to hedge its bets. From Scream's teen slasher revival to Paranormal Activity's found footage trend to Marvel's superhero craze, a novel concept that over-performs is almost guaranteed to yield similar projects until audiences tire of the fad. Fatal Attraction launched a cycle of racy thrillers in the early '90s that included the likes of Basic Instinct, Single White Female, The Hand that Rocks the Cradle, Sleeping with the Enemy, and Cape Fear.
While not as well remembered as the aforementioned efforts, Unlawful Entry remains an effective entry in the subgenre from journeyman director Jonathan Kaplan (The Accused, ER). Lewis Colick's (October Sky, Charlie St. Cloud) script may traverse familiar tropes, but Kurt Russell (The Thing), Ray Liotta (Goodfellas), and Madeleine Stowe (12 Monkeys) gracefully elevate the material with their performances.
Bookended by tense home invasion sequences, the 1992 film opens with a burglar breaking into the upscale home of recent Los Angeles transplants Michael (Russell) and Karen Carr (Stowe). Although ultimately unharmed, they're left shaken up by the ordeal after Michael is forced to watch helplessly as the assailant holds Karen at knifepoint. Responding officer Pete Davis (Liotta) goes out of his way to help them feel safer.
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Pete presents himself as the sincere lawman at first, but it quickly becomes clear to both the viewer and Michael that he's unhinged. He grows increasingly obsessed with Karen, invading not only the couple's home but also their lives as he does everything in his considerable power to take Michael out of the picture. The third act is exactly the suspenseful thrill-ride you'd want from a movie of this ilk.
While a lesser film would pit Russell and Liotta against one another in a testosterone-fueled stand-off, Unlawful Entry takes a more interesting approach. Although their conflict is not without machismo, their personalities repel one another on a granular level. Beyond coveting his wife, Pete has no respect for Michael. In Pete's mind, he is the alpha male getting his hands dirty and protecting the streets, so he deserves Michael's prosperous life.
Liotta is effectively disarming at first before unraveling into a deranged stalker. Russell is as charming as ever, but he's not afraid to show vulnerability. Stowe brings a cleverness to the damsel in distress. The cast also includes Roger E. Mosley (Magnum P.I.) as Pete's level-headed partner, Ken Lerner (The Goldbergs) as Michael's lawyer, Dick Miller (Gremlins) as an impound clerk, and a young Djimon Hounsou (Guardians of the Galaxy) as a prisoner.
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Unlawful Entry is now invading homes on Blu-ray via Scream Factory exclusively on ShoutFactory.com. While the company's limited releases are typically reserved for titles with a more narrow appeal, Unlawful Entry's allotment of 1,620 units sold out in a matter of days, prompting them to increase the run to 2,600 (which brings into question the point of limiting it in the first place, but I digress).
The film is presented in high definition from an existing transfer with 5.1 Surround DTS-HD Master Audio and 2.0 Stereo DTS-HD Master Audio options. The quality is aggressively fine; it certainly won't win any competitions against a modern 4K master, but it's a welcome improvement over the old DVD.
Despite its limited status, new special features were produced: a 28-minute interview Kaplan, who sets the stage by highlighting his genre-hopping career before focusing on Unlawful Entry; an interview with cinematographer Jamie Anderson (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Small Soldiers); and an featurette in which music historian Daniel Schweiger breaks down the score by James Horner (Aliens, Avatar).
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Archival special features include: a DVD commentary by Kaplan, who notes how he learned how to reflect the subjectivity of human experience in film by watching Alfred Hitchcock and details how the Rodney King riots impacted the movie; a vintage EPK-style featurette with snippets from Kaplan, Russell, Liotta, Stowe, and more; the theatrical trailer; and two TV spots.
In a time when police misconduct is caught on camera on a near-daily basis, Unlawful Entry is all the more relevant over 30 years removed from its original release. Coupled with a severely underrated performance from the late Liotta, the '90s thriller gem begging for rediscovery.
Unlawful Entry is available now on Blu-ray via Scream Factory.
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Name: Elizabeth ♦ - (Claire Foy) - from The Crown ♦ Guest ♦ Age: (30) ♦ Relationships: Aidan Turner, Harry Styles (brothers), Henry Cavill (frustration/partner-in-crime), Giselle ?? (friend) ♦ Description: A stark contrast to her fun-loving, outgoing, and immature brothers, Elizabeth is reserved, exacting, and very particular. When her mother died, she implored Elizabeth to make sure that her brothers were both taken care of -- a task which Elizabeth has taken to heart (at the expense of her own happiness). Two years ago, Elizabeth refused a proposal from a young man who might have made her very happy, but at the same time she discovered that her younger brother Charles had been supplementing his income as a con-artist and ????? had developed a rather unhealthy dependency upon alcohol. It was clear to her that they both needed her attention and as the young man in question was unwilling to wait for her to sort them out (a task he deemed "impossible"), Elizabeth remains very much unmarried. She has resigned herself to becoming a spinster (a life she does not altogether find unappealing), while she does her best to keep her brothers both in line. ♦ Secret: Knows her brother Charles has been forging masterpieces as authentic for years, but now she's desperately afraid that he has gone too far and will be exposed. Elizabeth has hired reformed jewel thief, HENRY CAVILL, to steal Charles's work right from under him, before the new buyer can get their hands on it and prove that her brother has been scamming people for years. She's wondering if she ought to regret this decision and allow Charles to suffer the consequences for once. HENRY CAVILL's incessant flirting is becoming increasingly irritating (especially during the moments when she finds it rather nice). OPEN.
Name: ♦ - (Aidan Turner) - from And Then There Were None ♦ Guest ♦ Age: (28) ♦ Relationships: Claire Foy (sister), Harry Styles (brother), Florence Pugh (ex-girlfriend) ♦ Description: ♦ Secret: OPEN.
Name: Charles "Charlie" ♦ - (Harry Styles) - from Don't Worry Darling ♦ Guest ♦ Age: (26) ♦ Relationships: Elizabeth ?? (sister), Aidan Turner (brother) ♦ Description: Charlie likes to live his life on the edge. He's always seeking his next adrenaline rush. When he was younger, it was racing cars and gambling that achieved this, but now he's ♦ Secret: TAKEN BY LIZZY.
Name:  ???  ♦ - (Michael Fassbender) - from X-Men ♦ Guest/Thief ♦ Age: (35) ♦ Relationships: Giselle ??, Aurora ?? (sisters) ♦ Description: ♦ Secret: OPEN.
Name: Giselle ?? ♦ - (Rosamund Pike) - from An Education ♦ Guest ♦ Age: (28) ♦ Relationships: Michael Fassbender (brother), Aurora ??? (sister), Matthew Goode (ex-boyfriend), Elizabeth ?? (friend) ♦ Description: Lively and energetic, Giselle lights up any room she decides to grace with her presence. She is the perfect hostess for all of her brother's social gatherings where she always remembers everyone's names ♦ Secret: Giselle knows that her brother's business is underhanded, but she purposefully remains ignorant to it and looks the other way when anything suspicious happens. She's also still desperately in love with MATTHEW GOODE, and seeing him happy with his new wife is threatening to ruin a perfectly good vacation. OPEN.
Name: Aurora ???  ♦ - (Florence Pugh) - from Don't Worry Darling ♦ Guest ♦ Age: (25) ♦ Relationships: Michael Fassbender (brother), Giselle ??? (sister), Aidan Turner (ex-boyfriend) ♦ Description: It is only due to Giselle's instance that Aurora is even here, at all. ♦ Secret: Despite everything, Aurora hasn't quite TAKEN BY LIZZY.
Name: Julian Stark  ♦ - (Henry Cavill) - from The Man from U.N.C.L.E. ♦ Guest/Thief ♦ Age: (34) ♦ Relationships: Elizabeth (partner/flirtation/interest) ♦ Description: Charismatic, charming, and opportunistic, Julian is a former jewel thief turned successful art dealer. Known throughout Europe for his daring (and impressive) thieveries, he is something of a celebrity who only evaded significant prison time when he ♦ Secret: Julian has secretly been in love with Elizabeth for years and has returned to the Regency Grand summer after summer with the secret hope that, perhaps, one day she will return his affections. So far, he's only managed to put her off with his incessant flirting. It came as a surprise when she turned to him for help steal the forged art her brother is trying to sell. While Julian had promised himself he would never get involved in thievery again, the prospect of both helping Elizabeth and working with her, meant that saying no was never an option. OPEN.
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sinceileftyoublog · 3 years
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Philippe Cohen Solal & Mike Lindsay: A Pop Tribute to Outsider Art
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From Left: Mike Linsday, Hannah Peel, Philippe Cohen Solal, Adam Glover; Artwork by Gabriel Jacquel
BY JORDAN MAINZER
Outsider visual artist and writer Henry Darger’s fame was essentially happenstance, so it’s fitting that Philippe Cohen Solal’s decades-long obsession with Darger is chock full of coincidence. In 2003, the member of longtime neotango group Gotan Project found himself with a day off on tour in New York City and decided to venture over to the American Folk Art Museum, a choice that would change his life and culminate in Outsider (¡Ya Basta!), April’s collaborative album with Tunng’s Mike Linsday, the first adaptation of Darger’s words in music. 
At the museum, Solal, unaware not only of Darger but of outsider art in general, saw a Darger work, and, as he told me over the phone earlier this year, “fell in love.” Looking closer at the details of the work, he saw something he recognized: the name Kiyoko Lerner, who had lent the work to the museum. The very same name of a woman he was set to meet the next day in Chicago as recommended by a mutual friend back in Paris. The friend suggested they meet due to their love of tango. “We met and talked a bit about tango,” he said, “but quickly, I asked her about Henry Darger.” She began to tell him exactly who she was, the story that’s become increasingly well-known in the annals of Chicago cultural history.
Lerner and her late husband Nathan (himself a prominent Chicago photographer) were Darger’s landlords; Nathan discovered Darger’s work in his “very messy room” shortly before Darger’s death in 1973, most notably his 15,000+ page novel In The Realms of the Unreal as well as his magazine-traced illustrations and watercolors accompanying the book. (The book, a fantastical epic about child slave rebellions, would go on to inspire visual artists and musicians for decades; indie rock band Vivian Girls took their name from characters in the book, and Darger would even be referenced in The Venture Bros.) Nathan immediately knew he had something special, and he and his wife took control of Darger’s estate. Darger would start to become formally recognized by the art world, his work prominently featured in museums and documentaries. Nathan died in 1997, and Kiyoko would continue to operate as head of the estate and donate her collection to various museums across the world.
In 2006, Kiyoko flew to Paris and met up with Solal at the first Darger exhibition in the city, at La Maison Rouge. It was immediately when he left the show that Solal had the idea to make music inspired by Darger’s art. “At the time, I didn’t [even] know that [Darger] wrote lyrics,” Solal said. “I had no clue.” In reference to Darger’s war between children and adults, Solal had the idea to write “adult music for children,” or vice versa, and wrote a track that wouldn’t even end up 15 years later on Outsider. He visited Kiyoko at her Chicago apartment. “I spent a few days immersed in his art. I didn’t know precisely what I wanted to do, and then I discovered he wrote lyrics. It very much changed the project.” Nobody had thought to put Darger’s lyrics to music, and Solal wanted to put his stamp on the increasingly large pool of reinterpretations of or references to Darger in the arts and culture world at large. Kiyoko put him in touch with art historian Michael Bonesteel, who led Solal to more lyrics.
Not wanting to go at it alone, Solal got the idea to do a collective project adapting Darger’s lyrics to music with various friends. He reached out to the likes of Calexico’s Joey Burns and Lambchop’s Kurt Wagner, but Lindsay was the one who really stuck. Solal and Lindsay were fans of each other’s bands, and the latter visited the American Folk Art Museum while on tour at Solal’s recommendation, he himself rediscovering Darger’s work. In 2015, there was another Darger retrospective at the Paris Museum of Modern Art, and Kiyoko, who attended, suggested to Solal that he reveal his song adaptations of Darger. “I didn’t tell her I only had one song at the time,” he laughed. That was his inspiration to reach out to Lindsay. “I thought maybe I’d do a 5-track EP. I called Mike and reminded him of my project and asked him, ‘Are you ready to work on that with me?’”
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Solal and Lindsay separately wrote the melodies and basic arrangements of the songs that would end up on Outsider, and they recorded and produced the record together. Lindsay introduced Solal to Northern Irish musician/singer/multi-instrumentalist Hannah Peel, who would voice the Vivian Girls. Solal asked Adam Glover, a singer he knew through his manager, to be the voice of Darger himself. (“He was very young...but he can sing like Sinatra or Dean Martin,” Solal said.) The four created an album with Darger’s words using traditional pop instrumentation and song structures but also children’s instruments; Peel even created her own music box to play some of the melodies. Sometimes, the words were spoken, as on “Hark Hark, My Friend, Cannon Thunders Are Swelling”, while other times the vocals are isolated in harmony, as on “We Sigh For The Child Slaves”. “We know more about Darger as a painter and visual artist, so it was important to have Darger as a storyteller,” Solal said. Furthermore, the group wanted to capture the raw spirit of Darger’s art by rendering the voices distorted, shifting their pitch to make them sound almost out of tune. The instrumentation, meanwhile, ranges from slinky electric guitars to strings, and even barroom-style piano on the penultimate “We’ll Never Say Goodby” [sic]. “With our small team, it was lean and simple to do this music,” said Solal. While most of the titles and words were taken directly from Darger, down to the spelling of “Goodby”, the album touches on Solal’s story, too. Instrumental interlude “851 Webster Avenue” is named after the address of Lerner’s apartment Solal visited for the first time, when his fascination with Darger really took off.
Solal can’t exactly pinpoint what ever fascinated him about Darger, both in general and as the world changes, but he has some clues. “At the time, what was interesting to me was it was clear [Darger] was a self-taught artist, and maybe I felt a bit moved by that because I’m a self-taught musician,” Solal said.��“I never went to music school, but I understood that without any specific art education or practice at an art school, you can create something...Henry Darger is an amazing example of someone who created his own world.” Darger’s style of illustration, his drawings traced from magazines, made up for the fact that he wasn’t a technically great drawer, and it complemented his heightened sense of color. Moreover, Solal feels kinship with some aspects of Darger’s childhood. Part of the inspiration for In The Realms of the Unreal was that Darger himself was sent to an asylum that put children to work. “When he was a kid, everybody called him crazy,” said Solal, “But I’m sure he didn’t think he was crazy. I remember when I was 9 or 10, I thought I was crazy. Nobody called me crazy, but I thought I was.” He found commonalities in, simply, being misunderstood.
Solal also questions what it means to be an “outsider” artist; in reality, Darger spent most of his time inside, confined in a room creating fictional worlds. Funny enough, according to his diaries, he was fascinated with the weather, tracking the accuracy of the predicted versus actual weather, but that’s about all for the outside world. On the day JFK was killed, for instance, Darger had nothing about it in his diary entry. He chose to interact with the world through the magazines he would trace, and through collections of items like Pepto Bismol bottles, National Geographic issues, and broken glasses. He wasn’t much for interpersonal relationships. Not only was Nathan Lerner unaware of Darger’s artistic enterprises, but neither were the young artist couple with whom Darger actually shared his apartment. Solal thinks that Darger’s resistance to presenting himself as an artist was as a result of his childhood experiences. “If the outside world was not so mean to him, maybe he’d be less scared to show who he was to the rest of the world, even just to his neighbors,” he said. “It’s funny that we call him an outsider. He was more an insider but was protecting himself from the outside world.”
Perhaps, subconsciously, the more that creative folks learn to look through Darger’s eyes, the less likely his, or any genius goes unnoticed. Solal remarked that many of the folks involved in Outsider almost had to “unlearn” their craft. Andrew Scheps, who mixed the album, at first didn’t know the context and gave Solal and Lindsay a product that was “too clean;” Lindsay explained Darger’s story and the importance of having strange-sounding narrative effects in the records. “When he worked [after that] on the mix, we found Henry was back in our songs,” said Solal. The individuals involved in coming up with animated videos for each of these songs, French animator Gabriel Jacquel with art direction by Pascal Gary (aka Phormazero), also had to abandon their fundamentals and learn to draw like Darger. Overall, exploring his work provides admirers like Solal the opportunity to dig deeper, from figuring out how to bring Outsider on stage to “finding new ways to tell the story,” like podcasts, interactive maps, short films, and Spotify playlists of Darger’s favorite music. “This man is full of mysteries,” he said. “I hope my future is Outsider for a while.”
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obscureoperations · 3 years
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Iv’e written several odd things where Martin and Michael are the main pairing.This was one...  though its more Martin/fem reader/ Michael
“But it can’t happen again… never again. Not with Him.” Martin whispers. The sound of Cuda’s voice manages to resonate through the floorboards, along with the laughter of various men from the church. Michael’s laugh was one of them, he could recognize the melodic sound anywhere. It brought attention to the fact that he was still in the house.
“And why not?” she asked almost flippantly as her fingers began to ghost along the dresser. Wiping away imaginary dust, rearranging the pictures, anything to avoid actually looking at him. It had been at least a week since their last encounter and in that time, Martin had only faced Michael once. Just once towards the end of Mass. He handed over the collection plate and left without a word. 
Since then, he had been plagued with thoughts of Michael, the man with the x-ray eyes. The way he seemed to look right through him, with no judgement or remote signs of bias. He seemed to see him for what he really was-- a monster, some sort of pariah, but still wanted to get closer. Just what did he want from him? Why take things this far-- there had to be an underlying motive.
“Why not?! He’s clearly in love with you… he has been. He’s using me to try and get close to you again!” 
“Do you really think that? 
“I do, I mean it’s pretty obvious. He’s been staring at you from across the table all night.”
“Really...Martin? I thought he was looking at you.”
Pins and needles, he instantly flushed at the words, he had no idea why the thought alone evoked such a reaction. He felt that Michael was watching him initially, but immediately brushed off the thought. He couldn’t possibly feel his eyes boring into him as he casually buttered a piece of bread.  Was he really? Looking at him… why?
Martin opens his mouth to speak but refrains, just trying to make sense of the events at dinner.  All through the evening he kept his eyes strictly trained  on his plate, simply trying to ignore the weight of Michael’s presence. The sound of his voice alone caused his insides to contract, he wasn’t sure if he felt sick or excited. On the rare occasion that Michael asked him a question, he kept his responses short but polite. To the outside observer Michael wasn't phased, but the two of you noticed the small shift in his demeanor. A quiet sort of disappointment which he quickly dispelled with a laugh, and polite request for Cuda to spare some more wine.
 Martin wanted to disappear, he had no idea why he was acting so cold. He wasn’t angry at Michael, not in the slightest. At this point he just didn’t know how to feel. The longer he stayed at the table, he could feel Michael’s disappointment run deeper. All he knew was he couldn’t look at him-- not once. If he did, everyone at the table would know.  He tried to remove the various thoughts and images from his mind, but the harder he tried, they would come back in full. He did not know how soft Michael’s hair felt beneath his fingers, or how soft his lips were for a matter of fact.  He didn’t know how lovely his name sounded falling from his lips, or how beautiful he looked when he came. For a moment he thought he might faint, seeing as how a good amount of his blood had flowed somewhere else. He flushed deeply, quickly excusing himself from the table, claiming that he suddenly felt sick. 
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
Martin’s words echoed through the room. He instinctively looked over his shoulder, right before he presses his fingers to the locks.
“Of course not, I love you.”
“Do you?”
“Yes!”
“Then why him?”
Your heart was breaking. You knew you shouldn’t have let this happen-- he ‘cured’ him wasn’t that enough? You knew that there was no hidden agenda, Michael wasn’t trying to steal you away-- he would be leaving in less than a month. He had to ‘continue his mission’. 
~
He just wanted to say goodbye. But  then he met Martin-- and he liked him…really liked him-- to the point that he was  genuinely concerned for the young man’s well being. 
Cuda made no attempt to hide the pure disdain he had for his cousin, to the point that it made Michael uncomfortable. He would ask you multiple times “Is Martin alright? Are you sure it's safe for him to be living here? I'm worried for the both of you.” You knew he was right, you thought about it every day.  If Cuda ever found out  Martin was finished. How on earth you managed to keep your relationship under wraps for this long was a feat. 
It was becoming increasingly clear that the two of you had to get out of there--and then like a beacon He showed up. Michael assured you numerous times that everything would soon fall into place. He assured you that once he finished what he had to do, the two of you would know. He promised that at the end of it you and Martin would be safe.
~
“He knows that I love you, he only wanted to help.”
“Help?”
“He doesn't want you to hate yourself…”
Martin opens his mouth to speak but refrains, he can feel the heat rising to his face as he  clenches his jaw. 
He wants to help me… what exactly does he consider help?
 “I Just want you to be safe…Martin, you’re always so afraid…”
“I’ve been being safe, you know that. Up until this whole thing... I’ve gotten the urge what… once, maybe twice a month?
“I know that but--”
“ And help me? What does that even mean?!”
 “Cuda’s been talking. A woman just managed to kill herself. Mrs. Satini… He knows you used to make deliveries to her. He knows that you would spend hours at her apartment. ”
Martin couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, Abby. She was really nice. She liked to listen to him, though he spent more time listening to her. It was so brief, just shortly before the two of you became really close. He loved you.
“Why are you laughing?! This is serious. You know how Godfather is. I heard him talking about how he should kill you.”
Martin pauses.
“He wouldn't. I mean-- not really.”
“He would! I heard him talking about a sacrifice. And Michael. He heard it too, and he’s worried.”
With a sign Martin sits down at the edge of the bed , rubbing his temples.  
“Why on earth would he be worried about me?”
~~
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horizonwitch · 5 years
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The Archangel Theory - A Possible Explanation to MCR's new symbolism
Hello! This is a very long post, but I hope it’s worth the reading. Sorry.
I am Nana, and today I bring you a fan-theory on the meaning behind MyChem's symbols presented to us in the occasion of the band's return announcement and later on, at the actual reunion concert day.
First Considerations:
1. being it, as the title implies, a fan-theory, I do not claim any of the exposed to be factual when associated to MCR. I bring this thread to you guys in hopes that we can discuss, expand, teach and learn with each other, and maybe come to some sort of conclusion. Riddles are fun to play, especially together. I love riddles in fandom experience. :)
2. I highly apologize for my limited vocabulary and weird phrasing. I am not a native english speaker, but I'll try my best to make this understandable to everyone;
3. Despite my personal beliefs and stupid jokes, I mean no disrespect to any religion or symbol mentioned in here. (just as much as I believe MyChem also doesn't, on the wild possibility of this thread being on point with what they planned, lol).
That being said, before we start, I have some thanks to give:
this theory was only put together thanks to my lovely mychem group chat, composed by Raffs, Clara, Caroline and Hana. thanks for all the time and effort we shared, and for holding my brain with your bare hands when it was about to melt, friends.
Also thanks to Frank Iero himself, for laughing at me on twitter for me not being able to understand the reunion clues, despite "wearing a California 2019 shirt for 6 years". I humbly accept the possibility of this theory having nothing to do with the truth, but I sure hope I can laugh back at you in the end, rat. I love you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, let's finally head to The Archangel Theory, or, as I like to call it, The “If We're Not Careful We'll Turn Into Catholics” Theory, and how it all started.
It was Halloween. Everyone here was minding their own damn business (I was being a clown on twitter, Hana was putting on her badass revenge-themed makeup. You know, the usual). And we all know what happened: MCR raised gracefully from the dead, dropping brand new symbolism and a stunning angel image to our poor panicked hearts. A few days later, when Hana’s crying ruined makeup was long gone and everyone calmed the F down a little bit, people started to ask themselves: okay, cool, but what does it mean?
Like many of you, the first thought that crossed my mind was tarot. Because, well, how f-ing cool would it be, right? I draw tarot everyday. I just loved the idea. Mychem posting a latin countdown with some eerie photo was just… yea, I was very excited with this.
Many of us also associated the symbols with past albums and even with the members themselves. All of these theories are very valid to me, and I loved reading them. I agree with many points raised.
Well, everything was fine (as fine as it could be, because I am so damn curious). The Return concert happened at the faithful date of December 20, California. We all freaked out and enjoyed the noble services’ of days_fate and diet_shampoo’s streaming. All that jazz.
But then: well… another angel. I started to think to myself: is this a pattern? The show ends, we get very emotional, everything is okay (i hate this pun) with the world. Frank Iero makes a post-concert post on instagram, talking about how everything was pure Magick. With a K.
For those unfamiliar, this is an occultist term related to Aleister Crowley’s Thelema, to differentiate the religious concept from the “stage magic” that we are used to. A very carefully picked name that I highly doubt someone would drop around without knowing what it implies.... Don’t even start me with the K and C keys being so damn far away from each other on a keyboard.
At this point me and my groupchat were starting to be very done with Frank’s clownery (we indeed love him very much for that), and so we started to hurt our minds every single day since then. that’s the result:
THE ARCHANGEL THEORY
Let’s Return™ to the basics: angels and, probably, tarot.
Funny enough, there are actually angels in tarot cards. There are many types of decks, but for this we are using the most famous one, which most people believe holds ancient symbolism, The Rider-Waite Tarot.
There are many angels and archangels mentioned in the Bible (only a few by name, tho), but only four of them made it into being represented in tarot cards: Uriel, Michael, Gabriel and Raphael. Let’s get the gang together and meet the holy crew (please, forgive me for the puns).
Uriel:
whose name means “the light of god”, “the flame of god”. It’s the Wise Angel, often pictured as the one who holds books and scrolls and bears holy knowledge and understanding. or Clarity, if you will. They’re sort of the goth one™, associated with the Tartarus and being pictured as pitiless as any demon would; even holding the key to Hell during the end of times, Uriel is described as the angel who watches “over thunder and terror”. Uriel is sometimes even mistaken for a demon (apparently, the eastern catholicism accepts Uriel identity as an archangel, while the western catholicism gives more credit to its dark side, and does not encourage worshiping); this duality comes from the notion that very often, enlightenment may be the end result of dark times. Every archangel has many, I said MANY symbols attached to them, so other elements associated with this angel can be found on the image attached to this post.
About Uriel’s Tarot Card: if you were raised in a catholic family and slept through as much catechism as I did as a kid, maybe you’ll be surprised to know that Lucifer, Satan and Uriel are all different beings. Let it be a lesson: no matter how edgy of a teen you are, please accept knowledge from any possible source. Putting this thread together would’ve been so easier to me now if I did, haha... That being said, our angel Uriel is actually the Devil in the Devil Tarot card, which meaning touches on addiction, obsession, feeling imprisoned or restrained, but it being only an illusion of powerlessness. This card is an invitation to free yourself, fight distractions and temptation, and finally fulfill your destiny. Please, consider that tarot readings are very deep and variable; there’s extensive books only on tarot meaning, so I won’t explore much on each card. that’s just a very general notion.
Some sources also consider Uriel to be the responsible for the change represented in the Death card, despite not being directly pictured in such card. As stated before, Uriel is associated with the concept Death brings, being a turning point, and ending route.
The symbolism presented in the Devil card (as for the Rider-Waiter deck):
“At the foot of the Devil stand a man and a woman, both naked and chained to the podium on which the Devil sits. They appear to be held here against their will – but look closer, and you will notice that the chains around their necks are loose and could be easily removed. Each has small horns on their head, like the devil’s, a sign that they are becoming increasingly like him the longer they stay here. Both have tails, a further symbol of their animalistic tendencies and raw instincts, and the grapes and the fire on their respective tails signify pleasure and lust.”
Poor people. If only they knew better. A lil bit of Clarity, huh?
That’s it for MCR’s clarity symbol, conveniently shaped as a candle.
Michael:
whose name means “who is like god” (being it a rhetorical question, to mean that no one equals to God). It’s the Protector Angel. They’re the leader of angels in the battle against demons, Defender of God’s realm against Satan in the Book of Revelation. Michael is a warrior, and is often seem with the sword in hand, to allure to the idea of bravery. They’re described as the angel of strength, protection and Courage.
About Michael’s Tarot Card: Michael appears on the major arcana Temperance. In fact, even the name “Temperance” comes from the process of refining and strengthening materials in metallurgy. this one likes swords a lot, huh. That’s a card which meaning touches on patience and prudence. It means already having a clear vision and knowing what you want to achieve. Now It’s all about thinking before action, and accepting the balance of things, blending the opposites to achieve an ideal solution. Apparently a very suited card for a warrior of faith. Prepare yourself: in my research, I’ve found a source that associates this card with the color blue (the very same of the archangel) and the musical note G. Yes, the universe has a strange sense of humor.
The symbolism presented in the Temperance card: “The vessels in the angel’s hands represent the vessel that contains eternal life. The flowers are Irises symbolising the goddess Iris who links God to humanity. Iris travels from one end of the world to another, into the depth of the sea and the underworld. The angel’s feet, one on land and one in water, symbolise the unification of the external and internal, conscious and subconscious. It also represents testing the waters before jumping into the unknown. The red wings on the angel represent blood which symbolizes life. The sun conceals a crown which represents a connection to higher power. The triangle on the angel’s dress is an equilateral triangle and symbolise spirit, divinity, fire, life, prosperity, and harmony. It can also symbolise God and the holy trinity. The square outside the triangle represents protection and stability.”
The MCR symbol for Courage is a drop. is it a drop of blood? for an warrior angel and their endless battles on God’s behalf? Of water, the waters of unknown? The water of balance of life? I don’t know.
When Michael / was a young genderless being,/ their father…
Gabriel:
whose name means “strength of god”. It’s the Messenger Angel; Gabriel is often portrayed playing the trumpet, to make announcements of God’s will. (many angels play the trumpets on Revelations book,, but Gabriel seems to be the most intimately attached to this concept). In the hierarchy of angels, Gabriel seems to occupy a very high position, being knows as the “Left Hand of God” (our Michael aforementioned being the Right-hand angel).
Their famous appearances on the Bible includes appearing to Zechariah and the Virgin Mary, foretelling the births of John the Baptist and Jesus. Islam also has Gabriel appearing for many prophets, telling them the divine plans. In a way, all those messages are basically callings to a higher purpose, a proof of faith, a personal Sacrifice. This idea is reiterated by the symbolism of Gabriel’s tarot card.
Gabriel is also one of the Angels of Death (depending on the religious we are speaking about, there are over 14 different angels with this role). Not in a dark way, their role is to comfort and bring peace to the deceased, guiding them into the light. Gabriel is therefore an angel of mercy, redemption achieved through a proof of faith (often a self-sacrifice, of any nature), after a fair judgement. speaking of which…
About Gabriel’s tarot card: Gabriel appears on the major arcana Judgement, which meaning touches on taking responsibility for your actions, speaking the truth. It’s a beginning/ending type of card, but a different kind of change than the one represented on one of Uriel’s card, Death. While Death brings something unstoppable, more powerful than anyone’s options, Judgement usually portraits something you can actually choose to take part in. But it also your responsibility any consequences of not taking this step. A fair judgement, indeed.
The Symbolism presented in the Judgement card: “The angel with the Trumpet could be a reference to the angels and the seven trumpets in Revelation, bringing apocalypse and resurrection. The white banner with the red cross can be St. George Flag, and a reference to Saint George gives Judgement the symbolism of sacrifice done in the name of our faith. Both the flag and the trumpet are military symbols of authority. A man, a woman and a child are being called from the tomb of ego consciousness. The three people are reflected on the other side of the river, another symbol of the soul’s victory over death. The three people are also a symbol of the three pillars of the tree of life. The man and the woman has changed side from the familiar feminine on the left and masculine on the right. In Judgement it is the other way around. Perhaps it is to unify us and to tell us to look at a situation from a different perspective, from within. You are seeing the pillars from the Angel’s perspective. This symbolises to raise your thinking and ask for Divine Perspective. The mountains represent the structure that surrounds us all.”
Calling all units! Time for the ultimate vibe check.
I guess that’s it for our third MCR symbol, Sacrifice, shaped as hand. Is it a left hand, just like one of Gabriel’s titles? that would be interesting.
But not so fast.
Now we come to an interesting point. Gabriel is the first of our angels to have a sculpture used by My Chem. :) It’s actually endearing how, if this assumption is correct, they chose the messenger archangel to bring the good news: mcr is alive!
About Gabriel’s sculpture: our Return angel, as some of us already know by this point, is actually a piece called “Angelo e Alma”, by italian artist Pasquale Rizzoli. It is located on Cella Magnani, a memorial chapel of the Magnani family, inside Certosa di Bologna, which is a very antique monastery, later transformed on a monumental cemetery for many italian families. You can take a look here, it’s stunningly beautiful.
Finished in 1906, this piece was a commission by the widow of a war veteran called Natale Magnani, who apparently died young. As far as I understand written italian, since I speak portuguese (latin languages perks, yey!), it’s still difficult to me to do further research on this family. Being it an old, traditional italian family, there’s tons of Magnanis, but there’s little to no info on Natale or his wife’s lives on the internet, it seems. If you’re italian and have any info about this, please comment. It can actually be relevant to this thread.
This sculpture portraits an angel ascending to heavens, guiding a soul (represented as a woman in a long dress). There’s rose branches and lilies at the feet of both the angel and the soul, as they fly together. These flowers pay homage to Magnani’s family blazon, as stated by the Storia i Memoria di Bologna Project website, that also offers on their site a brief explanation on the meaning behind the many other plants on this piece. they all basically allure to death, sleep, and resurrection. you can check it out here.
The presented symbolism, being an angel appearing to a soul in their travel to the spiritual realm, and even the flowers used, lead me to conclude that this sculpture very likely pictures our Archangel Gabriel, in their judgement roles again.
Now, our holy rpg party already has a mage, a paladin and a bard. It’s time to introduce the most underappreciated (and my personal favorite) class:
Raphael:
whose name means “God heals”. Raphael is the angel for healing, thus making ‘whole’ everything that has been broken. They’re also a patron for lovers, role that he plays by using his healing powers in a non-literal way. Pay attention to the “fixing the broken and making it a whole again” part, that’s the connotation.
Both of these titles come from the roles Raphael played, depicted on the scriptures: the most famous ones being when Raphael was sent by the Lord to heal Tobit of his blindness and to deliver Sarah, his future daughter-in-law, from the demon Asmodeus, who killed every man she married on their wedding night before the marriage could be consummated.
Another famous role commonly related to Raphael is about the Pool of Bethesda. Despite not being mentioned by name, manuscripts of John 5:1–4 describe an angel that blessed this pool, healing the illness of those who touched its waters:
"an angel of the Lord descended at certain times into the pond; and the water was moved. And he that went down first into the pond after the motion of the water was made whole of whatsoever infirmity he lay under". It’s usually given credit to Raphael for this action, since they’re seem using healing power to fulfill God’s will in many occasions through the Bible.
About Raphael’s Tarot card: Raphael appears on the major arcana The Lovers, as the angel blessing the couple depicted. This is a card about romantic, even sexual, attraction, but not purely that. It’s about finding peace within yourself, and in someone else, about the journey to pick “the one” for you. Making a whole out of two halves is a common concept associated with this card.
Symbolism presented on The Lovers card: “the man and the woman in the image are being protected and blessed by an angel above. The couple seems secure and happy in their home, which appears to be the Garden of Eden. The fruit tree with the snake behind the woman is a reference to that story, which tells of humanity's fall into temptation and into the realm of flesh and sensuality. The angel depicted here is Raphael, the angel of air - who is of the same element of the zodiac sign that governs this card: Gemini. Air is associated with mental activity, and communication in particular, which is the foundation for healthy relationships. His blessing seems to give this card a sense of balance and harmony, the symbolization of union in a grand and cosmic sense between two opposing forces.”
Another source adds: “The couple stands in a beautiful, fertile landscape, reminiscent of the Garden of Eden. Behind the woman stands a tall apple tree, with a snake winding its way up the trunk. The serpent and apple tree represent the temptation of sensual pleasures that may take one’s focus away from the Divine. Behind the man is a tree of flames, which represent passion, the primary concern of the man. The twelve flames suggest the twelve zodiac signs, the symbol of time and eternity. The man looks to the woman, who watches the angel, showing the path of the conscious to the subconscious to the super-conscious, or from physical desire to emotional needs to spiritual concerns. The volcanic mountain in the background is rather phallic and represents the eruption of passion that happens when man and woman meet in full frontal nudity.”
Despite the latter being a bit too horny for my tastes, lol, both descriptions reiterate Raphael’s influence on the role of patronizing health and union, a journey of Devotion.
Oh, about the MCR symbol, shaped as a half-sun. at first I couldn’t find a correlation to Raphael and this sun shape, as for the first three angels it was very clear to me since just as I started reading about them. Then I realized the huge sun portrayed on The Lovers card, behind Raphael.
Despite holding its individual meanings, Tarot cards are not meant to me taken isolatedly. (that’s one of the reasons many people are not found of the single card yes-or-no type of drawing). That being said, it is not a surprised to find traces of one card on another, and many shared symbolism. As for the sun, it appears multiple times on the Rider-Waite deck, but only one card holds the same exact half shaped, upside down, centered sun as the MCR symbol. and that’s The Lovers. :)
Now, our romantic archangel lead us to a very lovely part:
About Raphael’s Sculpture: as we waited for MCR to dramatically drop the curtain at the reunion show, we were being watched over by a piece nicknamed “Angel of the Waters,” from the Bethesda Fountain (have you heard this name before?), located in the Bethesda Terrace, Central Park, in NYC. sculpted by Emma Stebbins in 1864, this piece’s history, together with Central Park’s history can be fully read in this awesome article that my friend Clara found: here.
But since we’re already here, let’s try to make a shorter version, focusing on what’s relevant to this thread.
Upon release, the angel, which stands and above and blesses a water fountain, was directly associated with the Bethesda Pool mentioned in the Bible, and the healing acts of Raphael. On the dedication pamphlet it was quoted the very same passage from the Gospel of John, chapter 5, verses 2-4 I’ve mentioned before. It’s a shame I couldn’t find any pictures of this pamphlet on the internet. Old documents, huh. NY people, if you have access to this, I’d love to see it.
If we stopped there, it would be enough evidence to assume the connection to Raphael, but there’s more! There’s some particularities about this statue.
Its conception was a huge deal: Emma was the first woman to receive a major sculptural commission in New York City. Also, she had a female lover, the world-famous American actress Charlotte Cushman, who, for Cedar Miller, historian that wrote about Central Park and Emma’s statue, holds a huge impact on the Angel of Waters actually making into existence. In 1869, Cushman was diagnosed with breast cancer. In addition to having two mastectomies, Cushman tried water cures in England. (Water cures were a big craze from the 1830s through the 1860s). The historian who wrote about them finds it another connection to the statue itself. Unfortunately, Cushman's treatments were ultimately unsuccessful, she passed away in 1875. Emma followed her not long after, in 1882. To this day, the statue remains, and to NY is a gathering place to find tranquility, peace of mind, even in the darkest times through the its 141 years of existence. It’s a place to heal yourself.
It’s not your average Raphael statue.
We have the archangel connection, a devoted couple's backstory, and lesbian/sapphics rights. I don’t know about you, but I can even picture Gerard Way carefully picking this himself, haha.
Oh, a spicy fact I’ve learned while writing this: This angel sculpture is actually even older in MCR’s history, tracing back to revenge era merch. (I didn’t have much access to mcr merch back in the day so I didn’t know about this, I apologize!)
I guess someone got nostalgic for some catholic aesthetics, huh. Bless!
Angels in tarot, bonus addition:
It is valid to mention that not only all of the 4 mentioned archangels have their individual cards, they also appear together in a single card, The Wheel of Fortune. In this card, each angel can be seen in a corner: Raphael (Aquarius) is upper left, Gabriel (Scorpio) is the eagle, Michael (Leo) is the lion, and Uriel (Taurus) is the bull, appearing in disguise, a common thing for angels though the scriptures, it seems.
If you draw tarot, you understand how big of a deal it is. If you’re not familiar, here’s the basic notion: “The wheel of fortune is a card about cyclical change. The wheel keeps on rolling, churning events in a ceaseless progression of ups and downs, either way freeing us from the past. No one can escape its cyclical action, which can feel somewhat terrifying -- no matter whether we are rising or falling. When one is balanced on top of the wheel, there is a moment of crystal clarity. However, the only part of the wheel that's actually not going up and down is the hub, which represents your eternal self. Every one of us will occupy all the points on the wheel at one point or another. The cycle of the wheel is its lesson -- and we can learn to take comfort in it. If you don't like the look of things right now, just wait -- things will change. Of course, if you do like the look of things right now, enjoy it while it lasts, because that will change too!”
It is quite a powerful card that holds all of the aforementioned symbolism. Woa.
More symbolism seem on this card includes:
“The Wheel of Fortune card shows a giant wheel, with three figures on the outer edges. Four Hebrew letters – YHVH (Yod Heh Vau Heh), the unpronounceable name of God – are inscribed on the wheel’s face. There are also the letters TORA, thought to be a version of the word Torah, meaning ‘law’, or TAROT, or even ROTA (Latin for ‘wheel’). The middle wheel has the alchemical symbols for mercury, sulphur, water and salt – the building blocks of life and the four elements – and represents formative power. On the outer circle is a snake, the Egyptian god Typhon (the god of evil), descending on the left side. The snake also represents the life force plunging into the material world. On the right side rises the Anubis, the Egyptian God of the dead who welcomes souls to the underworld. And on top of the wheel sits the Sphinx, representing knowledge and strength.”
THE SECOND SET OF SYMBOLS - STILL A MYSTERY
So, after all this, if any of this is correct at all, we just learned the meaning behind the first four MCR symbols, released on halloween: Clarity, Courage, Sacrifice and Devotion.
Now, what about the ones released at the reunion show, on the merch truck? Well, my friends, we still have a lot to think about.
I am a doctor, and in my profession there’s a saying which instruct us to always think of what seems like a complicated situation, with many possibilities, as a single disease causing many effects. That was my train of thought as I tried to associate these new symbols with the Archangels that we already have. It may have nothing to do with that at all, but it’s worth trying.
Differently from the first set, the second set didn’t get an official release, and does not hold text captions to guide us on it’s meaning. the symbol shapes, however, are easier to associate with tarot cards than the first ones, in my opinion. I’ve seen people online trying to guess it too.
Having the angels and their aforementioned traits as a guiding line, I used some symbolism associated to each one to connect them to a new symbol, as you can see on the picture attached to this post.
I have some major problems with this, tho, the biggest one being the order of the symbols not matching the first set sequence. We had Uriel (Clarity) / Michael (Courage) / Gabriel (Sacrifice) and Raphael (Devotion). The second set order was Sword / Moon / Tower / Wand, so the sequence goes like Michael / Gabriel / Uriel / Raphael. It doesn’t match. Please, help me.
THINGS THAT KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT: ABOUT WITCHCRAFT AND… SOLDIERS?
During the past weeks of my life I’ve been researching all types of things to break this down, so I came across some very unsettling things that may be just wild coincidences or... something else? Just in case, I am putting them here in case anyone finds some connection that I couldn’t.
Sigils and Pagan influences, maybe?
As some people on twitter and reddit noticed, Gerard was using a sigil on his arm that reads “My Chemical Romance”. Every Archangel mentioned here also holds its own sigil, which is shown on the picture attached to this post. While I was excited about the dates for new concerts, I started to think, is there anything special about these dates? I tried to not overthink it because we probably have major influences of disponibilities and,,, Label issues...I don’t know? some very practical stuff going on. But still, I came across an interesting match.
There’s 8 sabbaths, composing the Wheel of the Year, “an annual cycle of seasonal festivals, observed by many modern pagans, consisting of the year's chief solar events (solstices and equinoxes) and the midpoints between them.”
eight sabbaths, eight symbols, huh. Initially, I tried to connect each symbol to a sabbath, but it was very… not satisfying enough to me, so I’m leaving that out; nonetheless, I still believe they hold some meaning similarities.
And it doesn’t stop there.
That our lovely wheel of the year: here. We’re using a northern hemisphere version, since MCR is based in the USA.
The band returned on Halloween, which is the Samhain that occurs between Oct 31 / Nov 1. There’s some minor variation on dates because the Celtic day begins and ends at sunset.
Return Show took place in California, Dec 20: which marks the start of Yule. (Yule dates range from Dec 19 to Dec 22, for the Celtic calendar reasons)
The next sabbath is Imbolt, that takes place on Feb 1 / Feb 2. MCR has nothing announced for this date until now.
2020 concerts will happen during the week of March 20, 21, 25, 28 and 29, In Australia, New Zealand and Japan, as for now. That marks the start of the Ostara sabbath, which start range is March 20/21.
so… can we expect something (anything?) being announced at Feb 1 or 2, or near that? What about all the remaining sabbaths? Is that a reach? is it related at all? oof.
Who said Danger Days isn’t goth enough?
Another VERY interesting thing my group chat found on the internet during our MCR tarot obsession. If this theory is correct, this is not the first time they would be alluring to it. Please look at this pic of Grace Jeanette, The Girl in DD universe, posing with the mailbox on the set of the “Art Is The Weapon”/“Na Na Na” video shoot (2010). (Exact source and photographer unknown; likely taken by Jeanette’s mother). (big thanks to tumblr user killjoyhistory).
Bellow the big “OH HELL” we have four tarot cards, on the very same deck we used for this thread, the Rider-Waite deck. The cards are The Tower, The Devil, Death and Three of Wands.
Please note that it may have no correlation to future works, since DD itself had religious symbolism with the Phoenix Witch and this mailbox (go read the comics if you didn’t already. DD rights!), it may be a DD-only thing. Also, please note that 3 out 4 of theses cards were already mentioned in this thread, all possibly related to archangel Uriel.
To wage this war against your faith in me, MCRMY.
So. This one will sound weird and maybe a reach too, but, hey, mychem is alive and breathing, I guess there’s nothing really impossible, haha….?
Are we all familiar with Gerard liking a lot that green coat? After all those years, I guess so.
Indeed, our lovely frontman used yet another green jacket as his return outfit. This time, it was a military one. As a foreigner, and being very ignorant on how the US Army works, I got curious about the badge on his jacket. Maybe that’s common sense to you guys and I’m just embarrassing myself, but hey! be kind to someone who’s sort of dying inside after all this thinking process, would you?
The badge on Gerard’s jacket happens to be from the 1st Armored Division, a.k.a the Old Ironsides, named after an old ship (and the world's oldest commissioned naval vessel still afloat).
Actually, the nickname “Old Ironsides” trace back to England in 17th century, during their Civil War, but I didn’t find many relevant content / possible connections, besides them being mostly Protestant, in terms of religion… referring to them after all this catholic-conception angel talk is some sort of metaphorical war going on, MCR? Who knows. History-loving english folks, I’m counting on you too now to confirm this, lmao!
The American side of the “Old Ironsides” term, after being passed down from England during their Independence Wars (please be kind with me, my knowledge about american independence is almost 100% from Hamilton the musical lmao, help me) apparently resides, mostly on the US Army/Navy.
Interesting coincidences (?) about this: the Old Ironside ship, aka USS Constitution, has a familiar date on its history: November 1. I’m quoting its construction period info: “Her keel was laid down on 1 November 1794 at Edmund Hartt's shipyard in Boston, Massachusetts under the supervision of Captain Samuel Nicholson and master shipwright Colonel George Claghorn.”
I didn’t read much about it since I’m already at edge with everything I’ve been researching but, it seems it was a very adored ship. In fact, one of the reasons it’s still in active service it’s because a poet even made it a famous poem about this ship, that you can read here. It’s symbolic and adored, it seems.
About the homonymous 1st Armored Division of the US Army, which badge Gerard used during the return show: being the first armored division of the U.S. Army to see battle in World War II, it also holds a huge historical meaning.
Again, I don’t have much info to share about this and I think some of you will find possible connections on this better than I would.
But wtf does it have to do with all the angels, Nana?
Well, as mentioned before, angels fight battles in the name of God. They’re heaven’s military. Michael, especially, is a warrior angel and leads God’s troupes against the demons.
Something interesting I’ve found relating Gabriel (which statue, let’s not forget, was commissioned by a war widow) to the war concept was the hebrew poem "Elifelet" (אליפלט) written by Nathan Alterman in 1958, often turned into music and played on the israeli radio. it tells of a heroic, self-sacrificing (hm…) israeli soldier being killed in battle. Upon the protagonist's death, the angel Gabriel descends to Earth, in order to comfort the spirit of the fallen hero and take him up to Heaven. It’s very touching, and you can read it here.
I’m not saying any particular work like this poem is relevant to MCR’s possible new concept. (let’s not be political here, but also be honest: Israel wars are a delicate matter to bring up). We’re solely working with symbolism and history. Please keep that in mind.
MCR has touched on war thematics before in many occasions (I will not mention all of them, as I believe that as a fandom, we’re aware of that, and we can help new fans to understand it if needed. This text is already TOO LONG). Maybe it’s time for them to talk about some conflicts again, literal or metaphorical? Let’s wait and see.
Oh, one last thing. There’s actually a whole another navy air test and evaluation squadron, the Antarctic Development Squadron Six (VXE-6 or ANTARCTIC DEVRON SIX, commonly referred to by its nickname, The Puckered Penguins). They’re based on California (lmao) and their motto is… Well, “Courage, Sacrifice, Devotion”. Uriel kinda left behind again, huh. I’m sorry sweetie.
Again, I apologize if this last section (or even the whole thing..haha…) looks far-fetched, but I just… had to take it out of my chest, sorta? Sorry.
That concludes our Archangel Theory. Thank you if you took your time to read through it all.
List of things to maybe expect in the future:
Something on Feb 1 / Feb 2
Two more angel statues, being them related to Uriel and Michael in some sort of way. I’ve tried to find any suitable matches but… there’s just too many, and as we’ve seen it may even not be officially claimed which angel is portrayed. So let’s wait and see.
More pagan symbolism?
Something about War??
Cryptid posts related to UK and paganism, January 17th and January 24th.
## EDIT (01/12): about new mcr cryptid posts...
If you’re following MCR new updates, as for now you’re aware of the United Kingdom Stuff going on... Interesting coincidences (or is it?) about those:
Both posts were made on the same day the lunar cicle changes. This month, the moon shows up a different form every friday, so maybe prepare you heart for January 17th and 24th. Also, I believe they’re using London time for the updates. in fact, the most recent post (the video with theban alphabet) was posted only 30 minutes after midnight in London. So I’m adding that to our list of things to expect in the future.
Also, someone at warner might be in trouble right now. the ig account for Warner Music Artistic Services (@wmas) posted a variation of the video posted by MCR, only a day later, featuring another order for the theban caracters, a slightly different UK flag (it was somehow merged with a picture? it’s difficult to tell), and a new frame that consists of a forest, similar to the one Gerard posted on his own instagram, and the one featured as background for the skeleton holding a witchcraft-related dagger photo from 2 weeks ago. Differently from the previous mcr video, which was silent, this one featured a sound, if my ears are not mistaken, a very dramatic C# note played on piano or organ (church instruments, huh. funny. but it could be worse, at least is not a G note...)
The video was labeled as LFG, that could mean a million of things. the most relevant ones, I believe, could be “Looking For A Group”, a classic D&D/RPG term (If I close my eyes long enough I can hear distant circus music playing in my head, for I have compared the four archangels to a holy RPG party weeks ago...)or “London Forest Gate”, a neighbourhood in London. please tell me if you have any ideas about what else it could mean, haha....
This video was deleted, but you can still find it around on twitter.
Well, that’s it for now. I’ll keep updating this post as more content is released. Keep running!
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maluminspace · 5 years
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Genre: Smut/Angst
Pairings: Calum Hood/Luke Hemmings
Word Count: 2.5k
Requested: @periwinkle5481
Slytherin Calum + Gryffindor Luke are secretly dating and they’re hiding it from Slytherin Michael and Gryffindor Ashton bc of the rivalry. Cake gets caught in the prefect bathrooms by Mike and/or Ash (I’ll leave that up to your discretion) and shit kind of blows up but the four work it out. So I guess this is angsty with a touch of smut ;) thank you for writing this
Includes: nudity, hand jobs (almost)
Trigger Warnings: strong language, moderate sexual content
A/N: Angst with a touch of smut, you say? I hope this fits the bill, my sweet! 
***
Calum Hood had been working hard to become the Slytherin quidditch captain his whole school life. He’d trained hard at every given opportunity and spent almost every penny of the allowance his parents sent to him, on buying the very best knee and elbow pads. All of his blood, sweat and tears had paid off on the first night of his fifth year at Hogwarts, when the current head teacher had announced that Calum was to take over the important job of captain from Greta Hollyberry, who’d graduated the previous year.
The Slytherin’s elation at gaining this new title had been infinitely enhanced a few moments later when the headteacher had announced the name of the prefects. He wasn’t surprised when his secret boyfriend’s name had been called for taking the place of Gryffindor’s new prefect. Luke was a typical goody-goody, acing all of his classes and taking every extra-curricular activity possible to ensure he got the best recommendation when he leaves school in a couple of years. Calum couldn’t be happier about all those things, though, because it meant that for the first time ever, the two of them got to use the prefect’s bathroom, AKA the best place ever to secretly do the stuff they’d previously been forced to do in dusty, deserted corners of the castle.
It was tough on both boys sometimes, having to keep such an important relationship a secret from their friends and peers. Unfortunately, it was a necessary evil. Old prejudices that dictate that Slytherin purebloods shouldn’t date people from other houses, especially muggleborns, were still prevalent in the wizarding community and Hogwarts itself was no exception.
Due to their hectic schedules, the two boys had had to wait well over a week to finally meet there, but they were determined to make the most of it now. 
“What colour water should we have?” Luke asked, surveying the multitude of golden taps lining the sunken, pool-like bathtub. His bright blue eyes were sparkling with excitement as he sat down on the side of the huge bath. “Pink could be quite romantic?”
“I don’t fucking care what colour the water is Luke…” Calum replied, hastily shuffling out of his clothes and discarding the pile of his school robes near the wall. “I just want a wet, naked Gryffindor prefect pressed against the side of this massive bath.” 
Luke’s cheeks heated up under the intensity of Calum’s desperate words as he simply turned on the closest tap. The water that began filling the bath happened to be a pretty pastel purple colour. The slightly younger boy gave a delighted chuckle as he scrambled to his feet so that he could undress.
“Wait a second!” Calum insisted before slipping off his boxers, loving the way that Luke eyed him hungrily. He slipped into the tub, leaning against one side of it as he found the perfect position to watch Luke undress. “Okay, strip…”
Luke suddenly became shy, the way he always did when Calum’s attention was solely focussed on him. The lanky boy felt awkward beneath his boyfriend’s gaze as he slowly shed his Gryffindor robes, leaving them in a heap next to Calum’s Slytherin ones.
“Why did you stop?” Calum growled, indicating Luke’s tight red boxer shorts. “Show me the goods, Hemmings!”
Luke rolled his eyes fondly as he slowly pulled down his boxer shorts before kicking them to one side. He automatically curled in on himself in a weak attempt to feel less exposed, but the way Calum stared at him as though he was about to devour every inch of his pale, lanky body, made him more bashful than ever.
“Hurry up and get in here…” Calum commanded, stepping back from the edge of the rapidly filling tub to let Luke slide in. “I’ve waited so long to get my hands on you!”
That much was true. The two boys had not been alone together since the end of the previous school term, over seven weeks ago. Of course, they’d found ways of secretly communicating throughout the summer holidays and they’d managed to steal the odd moment for a quick make-out session here and there since returning to school the previous week. This was their first chance to properly be together, though, and they weren’t about to waste any more time before relieving their sexual tensions.
As Luke slipped into the huge bath, Calum couldn’t help but admire how beautiful he looked. The Slytherin found himself raking his eyes over every inch of Luke’s pale skin as he settled into the water. The younger boy’s dark blonde hair was slightly tousled and fluffy from where he’d pulled his clothes over his head, making him look softer than ever. His blue eyes were twinkling in the dim light, too, reflecting the pastel shade of the water and the bright flecks of the multi coloured stained glass window above the tub. 
The whole sight almost took Calum’s breath away. It was even harder for him to see why his fellow Slytherin’s would begrudge this relationship. Luke was the purest creature on earth, someone to be treasured and even worshipped, not looked down upon and shunned. He just wished that those narrow-minded people could see what he saw and feel how he felt when he was with Luke.
“You okay, Cal?” Luke questioned quietly when his boyfriend failed to make a move on him the second he was in the water.
Calum shook his head in an attempt to rid his mind of the ugly thoughts about his housemates and the associated feelings of anger and disappointment they brought with them. “I’m fine…” He promised, pressing himself closer to Luke until as much of his body was touching the Gryffindor’s as possible. “Just can’t get over how gorgeous you are, Lukey.”
The younger boy giggled as he wrapped his arms around Calum’s neck. “You’re the most gorgeous, Cal.” He replied. “I can’t even tell you how much I’ve missed you.”
“I think I might know exactly how you’ve been feeling…” Calum whispered before capturing the younger boy’s lips in a soft kiss. “Dreamt of your fucking mouth more than I can tell you.”
Luke whimpered into the kiss as Calum pushed one of his thighs between the Gryffindor’s applying friction to both of their deprived dicks. “Is that all you’ve missed?” He asked, rutting desperately against the quidditch captain.
Calum shook his head as they pulled apart from the increasingly intense kiss. “I missed everything about you, Luke, so fucking much…”
The Slytherin’s words were laced with so much need and lust that Luke was powerless to hold back, he moaned into his boyfriend’s mouth like it was the first time he’d ever been kissed. “Then show me…” Luke begged, sliding one hand down Calum’s arm to grip his wrist before guiding it between their bodies. “Show me how much you’ve missed me.”
“Fuck, Lukey.” The older boy groaned, backing up his hips just enough to allow him space to touch the Gryffindor where he needed it most. His fingers had barely grazed the base of Luke’s cock when the door of the bathroom burst open unexpectedly. 
Calum jumped backwards, instinctively covering his dick as he turned to yell at the intruder. “The door was locked for a reason, you fucking idiot…” His rant trailed off as his gaze met a pair of all-too-familiar, startled green eyes. “Michael? What the fuck are you doing here?”
The new arrival didn't even attempt to answer. He silently glanced from Calum to Luke and back again. It was entirely obvious that his mind was processing over the scenario, the cogs of his brain working overtime as he just stared, slack-jawed at the couple in the pool.
Quickly realising that there was no lie on earth that Michael would believe right now, Calum hastily tried to work out what the best method of damage control would be. He shifted sideways slightly, using his own body to shield Luke as much as possible. “Mike, you need to let me explain…”
“You two?” Michael gasped, a note of horror clear amongst the shock. “How? Why? I just…”
“Just turn around, so that Luke and I can get dressed. Then we can talk, yeah?” Calum asked, surprised by his own logical thinking in such a stressful situation.
Much to Calum’s dismay, Michael seemed glued to the spot, unable to tear his eyes from what he clearly believed was the friendship equivalent of a car wreck. “I thought you hated Gryffindors, Calum?” He sputtered. “You’re always going on about how much you want to beat them at quidditch and you definitely fucking can’t stand prefects! Hemmings is the last person in the world I’d have expected you to hook up with.”
“I don’t hate Gryffindors.” Calum protested, hoping to side step the rest of his best friend’s argument. “Don’t project your own prejudices onto me, Mike!”
The blonde boy shook his head disbelievingly, his expression betraying a hint of anger now. “I’ve never said a single thing about hating Gryffindors! Stop trying to deflect! Why would you feel the need to keep this secret from me? I’m supposed to be your best fucking friend, Calum.” 
Part of Calum felt ashamed, if there was one person he could have trusted with his secret it would have been Michael. He still felt irritated and embarrassed by the intrusion and the allegations that Michael had thrown at him. Perhaps that was the reason that his brain frantically tried to find an argument to throw back at Michael. Luckily, it wasn’t hard to find something to fuel his anger. A quick glance over Michael’s dishevelled hair and crumpled robes told Calum that his friend was clearly here to meet someone as well. “You can talk!” The younger boy shot back. “You’ve obviously been keeping secrets from me, too.”
Even in the dim light with the reflections of the colourful windows and water tinting everything and everyone in the room, it was clear how much Michael was blushing at Calum’s words. “I don’t know what you’re…”
As if on cue, the bathroom door swung open again. Michael didn’t even turn around but his eyes widened in horror. He didn’t have time to react before the new arrival stumbled into the room. “Hey baby, sorry I’m late, I had to shake off the nosy Hufflepuff prefect…”
“Ashton?!” Luke exclaimed, almost deafening Calum as all eyes moved to the Gryffindor quidditch captain.
Michael simply covered his face with his hands and let out a low groan. 
The oldest boy in the group stopped in his tracks the moment he realised that Michael wasn’t alone in the bathroom. His cheeks immediately turned crimson as the reality of the situation dawned on him.
“Looks like I’m not the only one fucking a Gryffindor.” Calum huffed, turning his attention back to Michael. “What’s your excuse for keeping secrets, Clifford?”
Michael curled in on himself, looking over at Ashton for some kind of emotional support. “I… Ash, I’m sorry.”
The Gryffindor quidditch captain stepped a little closer to his apparent boyfriend, gripping Michael’s shoulder gently. “We don’t have anything to be ashamed of, Mike.” He smiled comfortingly. He glanced over at the couple in the pool, adopting an almost pleading tone and expression. “We just all need to have a talk, I think.”
It was becoming increasingly difficult for Calum to keep his temper. “I don’t want to fucking talk, Irwin.” He snapped. “I want you and your boyfriend to leave! Just get the fuck out, both of you!”
Michael almost looked close to tears as he mirrored Ashton’s pleading gaze. He was obviously feeling embarrassed and overwhelmed. “Calum, I’m sorry, I just thought the door was locked because it’s almost curfew…”
“Just fuck off!” Calum demanded, entirely losing patience with the whole situation. “I want to be alone with Luke, so get out!”
Ashton’s expression hardened a little as though he was about to lose his own temper and stand up to Calum, but he faltered when Michael lost his battle to keep his emotions in check and ran from the room without a backwards glance.
“You should go after him.” Luke shrugged, drawing Calum’s attention away from the older boy for the first time since he’d arrived. “We’ll come and find you in a minute.”
Ashton nodded before turning on his heel and jogging after his boyfriend.
“Can you believe those two?” Calum huffed angrily, turning to fully face his boyfriend. “Michael yelled at me for keeping you a secret and the whole time he was doing the exact same thing to me!”
Sighing, Luke reached up to cradle the Slytherin’s cheek. “I think all four of us are guilty of letting outside opinions affect our own relationships and friendships.” He explained gently. “I’m a little hurt that Ashton didn’t talk to me about Michael, too. We’ve been close friends for years, we talk about everything else… I guess we’re all just scared of those few idiots that might bully us for dating someone so different to ourselves.``
There’s no denying Luke’s words. Calum knew that that one stupid reason is the only cause of this whole mess and he hated that he ever allowed himself to get caught up in it. “You’re right.” He answered quietly, pecking a kiss to the corner of Luke’s mouth. “We shouldn’t let those pricks make us feel like we have to hide.”
Luke smiled softly. “Let’s put this romantic bath on hold and go talk to our friends, yeah?” He suggested tentatively. 
Calum nodded reluctantly, knowing that he wouldn’t fully be able to enjoy the rest of his date with Luke when Michael was upset with him. He was also more than eager to find out more about how he’d ended up dating the Gryffindor quidditch captain.
After another brief kiss, the couple climbed out of the bath and headed over to where they’d hung up their towels earlier. 
“I know the most important thing to do tonight is to make things right with Michael and Ashton…” Luke said as he dried himself down with his fluffy white towel. “But can we also ask them to agree a schedule to use this bathroom? Like I may never get over the embarrassment of knowing that Ashton Irwin and Michael Clifford saw me naked.”
Calum chuckled, pulling Luke into a warm embrace. “You don’t need to be embarrassed about that, Lukey… You have the prettiest little cock, in the world. They’re lucky to have even gotten a glimpse of it.”
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What about politics on the other side of the Atlantic? On the 2020 Democratic nomination race, Žižek says, ‘My longstanding analogies are fully confirmed by recent events. Isn’t it absolutely clear that the message of the Democratic party establishment is, “better Trump than Bernie Sanders”?
‘I noticed how on the one hand you have this, let’s call it, “electability problem”. The Democratic establishment is saying Bernie Sanders is too extreme and so on and so on, but my God, that’s how Trump got elected!’ he continued. ‘I mean this line of reasoning that “play safely, stay in the middle if you want to be elected”, no longer works.
‘We have a large socialist movement which gained a serious foothold in United States politics and in the mainstream, and this is incredibly important to be visible there as a serious option.’
Žižek goes on to claim that the Democratic party and Republican party mainstream are becoming ‘indistinguishable’, pointing to billionaire Michael Bloomberg’s brief presidential run as a recent example.
‘If the Democratic establishment were to make a decision at gunpoint as it were — Trump or Sanders — they wouldn’t say, but de facto they would have preferred Trump. So I think, politically, there is the irony.’
According to Žižek, President Trump is too passive. A flaw he cites as being behind the United States’s decision to pull out of Syria, which Žižek described as ‘one of the most catastrophic things that Trump did’.
‘He sacrificed the Kurds,’ Žižek said. ‘The main victims. Everybody wants to screw them. I have full sympathy with the Kurds. Not so much with the Kurds in the north of Iraq, who are more conservative, but the Kurds in the southeast of Turkey and northern Syria.’
‘Trump opened up with unilateral withdrawal, a new situation where basically the two partners there are now Putin and Erdogan, and it’s clear what’s the target of both of them…to ruin Europe. European unity. People even didn’t notice that a similar thing is happening now in Libya. Russia is moving in, supporting one side, Turks supporting the other side in the civil war, and then they are making the deals.
‘I think that this is all coordinated. How this tension threatens Europe with new waves of refugees, which if — now it will sound horrible for a leftist — but I think that the new wave of refugees in Europe means a total ideological, political catastrophe. I am for more refugees…but four years ago when there was the first wave, it should have been done in an organized way. The way — this chaotic way — means that it will not only be Hungary and a couple of other populists. Populists will simply gradually take over Europe, and we should never forget what strange alliances we get here.’
To Žižek, Putin’s Russia and Erdogan’s Turkey are part of a ‘new Axis’ which, due to European passivity, ‘can always blackmail Europe’ through both oil and refugees.
‘I’m just shocked at this passivity of Europe,’ he declares. ‘We pay Turkey €6 billion if they help the refugees. I thought this is a disgusting compromise, but
OK. Then, the time that we had four years of relative peace should have been used for Europe to mobilize not against the refugees, but to change the situation there…of course, Europe should receive more refugees, but this is not the solution.
‘The wealthiest countries there…Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Emirates. They’re simply not receiving any immigrants. Why Europe? Why not Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Emirates? Rich, wealthy countries. It should have been easy for them to receive.’
On the ‘populist left,’ Žižek, is skeptical, claiming they prefer to ‘write wonderful books about why things went wrong’ than get their act together.
‘I would like to have a modest, realist left which has positive proposals of what to do. Like, OK, to talk frankly, we cannot obviously step out of capitalism. How to deal with it?’ he said, adding that the populist left needs to work out ‘how to use capitalist mechanisms’.
Žižek, says that ‘the rise of Trump and populism signals the end of this old liberal centrist consensus’.
‘The majority is disappointed by it and we cannot simply return to it. That’s why all around Europe — Le Pen, AfD, and so on — all around we have this populist revolt,’ he declared, before encouraging the left to ‘do what Trump did on the right’.
‘I remember when Trump began, people thought he was too divisive. No! That’s how you win!’ he says. ‘Hillary lost because Hillary tried to play this game. “We must move more to the center”,…the moral majority, the silent moral majority. I think the left should appropriate this. The left’s strategy should not be, “we are radical, we provoke, we use dirty words in public”…I think that the left, to reinvent itself, should present itself in this way. If by postmodernism we mean obscenity, irony, inconsistency, fake news and so on, then Trump is the ultimate postmodern president, and I think that the left should shamelessly begin to scream, “no, we address not just some fringe group, we address normal, modest, impoverished everyday people”.
‘The left should also stop this obsession with it’s this LGBT minority, that minority, and so on and so on. I think that this obsession with different lifestyles, minorities, is ultimately just a maneuver to avoid the big economic problem.’
‘Class struggle is returning,’ Žižek proclaimed, noting that ‘the two surprising mega hits of the last year’, Joker and Parasite, are ‘both movies about class struggle’.
Whether the digital age will help workers in the class struggle, however, is an ‘ambiguous’ question on Žižek’s mind.
‘On the one hand, internet, of course, opens up the new space of immediate social coordination. You can reach millions instantly,’ he explained. ‘On the other hand, here Julian Assange enters I think.’
‘We are gradually becoming aware to what degree the control of internet, who will control the digital space? It’s one of the big battles today…I think this digital space is not simply either good or bad. It’s just one domain of struggle.’
I ask him about Nick Land and the increasingly popular philosophy of accelerationism, which starts from the idea that capitalism and technology should be sped up in order to precipitate social change. He doesn’t seem to know about Land but he says: ‘What I see good in accelerationism is that I don’t buy this idea that you can oppose global capitalism through some kind of local traditional resistance. Some of my Latino American friends claim we should return to ancient tribal traditions and so on and so on. No. I still remain a Marxist here. You have to go through radical capitalist modernization. There is no way back.’
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vvivacious101 · 5 years
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Re-rewatching S05E13 - The Song Remains the Same
The title of this post was almost going to be Team Free Will but I liked the original title too much to not use it.So, we finally meet Michael and Dean coins the term “Team Free Will”, but there is just so much going on in this one.The episode starts with Dean dreaming about two sexy women when Anna interrupts the dream in a bid to find him. Surprisingly, the more I thought about this the more intrigued I became. I think till date Dean has met angels in his dreams four times.
4x02 - Are you there, God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester
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4x10 - Heaven and Hell
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4x20 - The Rapture
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5x13 - The Song Remains the Same
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What I find interesting is that all these dreams seem to be penetrating Dean’s psyche to various extents. The first two dreams mimic Dean's physical location and seem to be the most superficial. While the dream Anna interrupts is a little deeper, it fits Dean’s character and no one would be surprised by the content of his dreams. That leaves “The Rapture”, this dream is different because on the surface it doesn’t seem characteristic of Dean, I would have never thought of Dean as someone who would enjoy fishing, fishing requires endless patience while Dean has always been a man of action. Sitting around, waiting for something to happen just isn’t Dean’s style or is it. This dream is penetrating the deepest part of Dean’s psyche and gives us a glimpse into a part of Dean that he hides from the rest of the World, it seems to represent his longing for peace especially mental peace. Is it any wonder then that its Cas who is sharing this particular dream.
So, back to the present where Anna gives Dean a location to meet up with her but instead of Dean, it’s Cas who shows up. Okay, this was unexpected for me. Anna literally just talked about Cas betraying her in the dream and the first thing Dean does on waking up is to tell Cas about Anna, like wow. I’m shook. Despite, Anna telling the truth about Cas’ betrayal towards her, Dean completely overlooks this and calls Cas. I feel like till now I have really underestimated how much Dean trusts Cas.
So Cas and Anna meet up and Anna realises that Cas has changed. This Cas isn’t giving up Sam Winchester which is kind of great considering their last interaction in 5x06 - “I Believe the Children Are Our Future”. When Anna realises Cas isn’t going to be swayed, she changes tactics and decides to hunt John and Mary instead of Sam.
On an unrelated note, I’m pissed that we don’t ever get an accurate picture of Heaven’s hierarchy, like for example Anna and Zachariah who are both Cas’ superiors how do they measure up in respect to one another. Does this hierarchy in any way affect their power levels, these are all questions I don't think we will ever get clear-cut answers to.
Anyhow, enough digressions, let’s get to the meat of this episode, which sees Cas time travel with Dean and Sam to 1978 where Anna is presently hunting down the Winchesters.
I didn’t like the fact that Dean forces Cas to take them along when doing so was putting Cas in serious jeopardy something we only realise when Cas bleeding and fainting on arrival is passed off as being a better outcome than Cas’ expectations. Cas never really expresses how dangerous something is maybe because he hasn’t yet realised that he is becoming increasingly mortal and certain experiences can be fatal while simultaneously I hate Dean for not realising just how much he expects out of Cas. This is something that makes the situation increasingly dangerous, but I feel that this particular situation, that this episode gives us a glimmer of, is better explored in the next season, so we will save this discussion till then.
What blew me away, this episode was the realisation that this is Sam’s first-ever time seeing his mother. He has never seen Mary before and I can’t believe this was something I only realised the third time I was watching this episode, mainly because Mary has shown up on the show multiple times before, she shows up as a ghost in their old house in Lawrence and in 2x20 - What Is and What Should Never Be, which is just a djinn induced dream we see Mary, Sam and Dean together so I never really realised what was happening with Sam in this episode. Sam wasn’t in on the acid trip Dean was on in 2x20 and he has never seen his mother in the flesh, no wonder he is stumped. This also brings to mind the first time Sam meets Mary in Season 12, that is one beautiful moment and to a lesser degree that is what’s happening here.
I feel for Sam, he has never met his mother and he also feels like he never told his father how much he cared about him. A lot of Sam’s feelings towards John took a drastic turn following his death and I understand why he wants to take this opportunity to let his father know that he understands why John did what he did.
Well, in the eventual showdown, Michael shows up and kills Anna (in a way which is strangely reminiscent of Cas killing Belphegor in 15x03 - The Rupture) and we finally get to hear the recruitment speech from Michael himself. Like we have heard it from Zachariah, we have heard it from Lucifer and now it's Michael's turn.
Michael in his recruitment speech aligns himself with 'Destiny', he tells Dean the reason why everything is happening the way it is, is because it is destined to be this way and in an act of defiance, Dean aligns himself with 'Free Will' and that is how “Team Free Will” is born.
Dean: Well. This is it.
Sam: This is what?
Dean Winchester: Team Free Will. One ex blood junkie, one dropout with six bucks to his name and Mr. Comatose over there. Awesome.
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rubycarrizal-blog · 4 years
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vagrantblvrd · 5 years
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how do you see lindsay figuring into the bigbro ryan au you posted?
Ooh, that’s an excellent question, Anon! (Big Bro Ryan AU)
As much as I would to toss her into the Thieves camp, I kind of love her as Alfredo’s partner?
Like, with a ~twist, though.
Alfredo’s a new transfer to the department/agency and Lindsay has lived in the city for ages now. (Possibly born there?)
She knows her way around and all that, and the two of them get partnered together hoping they’ll compliment one another and the like. (Also, she’s a little too chaotic for the other detectives/agents to handle for long, and it’s possible she plays it up when she gets assholes for partners. Helps weed out the unsuitable early on enough they don’t waste too much time/resources/money on them?)
Anyway.
Alfredo and Lindsay hit it off (a little too well) almost from the start which both worries/impresses their superiors?
But!
The thing is, Lindsay’s got contacts among the Thieves, you know?
Good friends with Meg, Gavin, and Michael - but if we’re going with the Ryan/Alfredo angle who’s to say there isn’t some Mavinseg going on there too?
Lindsay who is otherwise a good cop/agent but the kind of thieves those three are count among the harmless sort? Only target rich assholes who deserve it - and they’ve helped expose shady dealings in the past as well.
Cases and situations the cops/feds were stumped on/helpless to deal with because corruption and the whatnot and then some Mysterious Sources stepped forward with incriminating evidence. Or they just pulled a full-on vigilante thing to expose the shady assholes who thought they’d get away with their nefarious deeds.
This whole thing where rookie!Lindsay chased after them because they were clearly Criminals and then you know, got seduced and the whatnot.
You know how it goes, right? Something in Lindsay’s life as a kid or teenager where some rich asshole fucked her family over or maybe a close friend/family friend. And of course they were super smug about getting away with it, so she swore she’d get justice/revenge one day, which led to her becoming a cop/fed.
So the whole time she’s got this unofficial case she’s working on the side - obsession - but she also has to deal with these three thieves?
Has this crotchety partner close to retirement age who isn’t all that concerned about said thieves - has a nose for the dangerous sort and these three ain’t it, you know? Bunch of kids on the wrong side of the law, sure, but they’ve never shown violent tendencies and no reason to exepect they will, so they’re not too bothered about them.
And Lindsay, who is just but they’re criminals??? Goes overboard trying to catch them, and it gets her in trouble - and just when things are starting to look Dire one or more of them come to her rescue. Talk whoever’s got Lindsay in a tight corner down, flirts outrageously with Lindsay in the process and it’s this recurring theme for a while?
Lindsay getting increasingly annoyed/frustrated because she thinks the Thieves are mocking her, until there’s a Situation where Lindsay has to choose between helping one of them or doing her job. And of course whichever one it is happens to be injured on top of that, and looking at her like hey, okay no hard feelings because they’re not on the same side and all. (So of course that’s why she helps them out, lets them escape and takes the heat for that, dressing down from her superior while her partner just side-eyes her with this hint of a smirk because they realize what must have happened.)
The next time she runs into one of the Thieves it’s kind of awkward because they’re not sure if she’s going to try to arrest them again? But she’s just. Kind of tired of this back and forth they’ve been doing and confused as hell and hurting a bit, because she came really close to pinning the asshole she’s been after for years now and everything turned to shit.
And then the Thief is like. WAIT. And the realization they’re after the same asshole, and why not join forces on that one?
Lindsay feels a bit conflicted about that? But they’re her best chance of finally putting that asshole behind bars where they belong and all that, so why not?
There’s more flirting and the like - and the Thieves are freaking delighted when Lindsay flirts back, get even more interested and such and Lindsay is like #^^# and kind of loving the attention, (Also, wouldn’t lie about how attractive the three of them are? But clearly they are a Thing and not into her in a serious manner and so there’s the whole oblivious pining situation going on? But it’s mutual on both side and just. A bunch of idiots pining all over the place, because I’m predictable like that?)
There’s a whole Thing where the four of them manage to get the asshole responsible for the majority of their Woes but they all nearly die in the process.
Lindsay gets a little bit shot (because, again, I’m predictable like that) and Gavin gets a little beat up and anyway, it’s a while before they run into one another again.
(Meg totally breaks into Lindsay’s while she’s on medical leave to drop off a get well gift from the three of them, and Lindsay may or may not see her leave, all soft-eyed about the dumb little gift - fruit basket and flowers and some chocolates. Tiny stuffed cat, that kind of stuff, and she Thinks real hard about the three of them for a while.)
And then there’s a Thievery that happens after Lindsay’s cleared for work and she knows it’s the three of them (who else?).
Her crotchety partner’s retired so she’s on her own for the moment, and she knows where the three of them would go after a successful job. Heads on down there and catches them having a celebratory drink, and for a moment they freeze thinking she’s going to try to arrest them and they’ll be back to the cat and mouse games again? (Not that that’s not fun, but c’mon, buzzkill?)
And she goes over to the bar to get herself a drink - technically off duty - and heads over, asks if they mind if she sits down at their table since all the other ones are taken.
There’s all this confusion because the little dive bar is mostly empty, the three of the sharing a look before they realize she’s totally trying to do a Thing here, and invite her to sit with them and then it’s just. Big dumb grins and soft smiles and all this flirting. (Awkward first kisses later on, and the start of something lovely for the four of them.)
And then Alfredo comes into the picture and Lindsay and her Thieves get to lolol at him and Ryan and their dumb awkward faces like that wasn’t them a few years ago. XD
Lindsay freaking adores Fiona, which endears her to Alfredo even more and then, idk, shenanigans??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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theliberaltony · 5 years
Link
via Politics – FiveThirtyEight
There have been a flurry of recent stories in The New York Times, The Washington Post and other outlets about influential Democratic powerbrokers casting about for new 2020 candidates, apparently due to doubt about the strength of the current field. And in a related development, former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder and former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick are all reportedly considering entering the race, even as they would face long odds against winning the nomination.
Can’t the party establishment just live with one of the candidates who are already running? After all, the Democratic field is getting smaller, but it’s still huge, with 16 “major” candidates.1 And the party’s voters like the candidates just fine. A Pew Research Center survey conducted in July found record-high levels of enthusiasm about the field among Democratic voters, matched only by their excitement in 2008 when Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were running. A Huffpost/YouGov survey from last month found that 83 percent of Democrats were satisfied with the party’s candidates.
So … what’s going on? Why are the party pooh-bahs so nervous?
It’s difficult to provide a definitive answer to this question, in large part because “Democratic donors” and “the Democratic establishment” are large, nebulous groups. We don’t have a formal poll testing the views of the “establishment,” for example. Plus, news organizations tend to be more likely to write stories with the theme “people are worried” than “everything is fine,” so you should be somewhat skeptical of how representative these stories are of opinions overall.
That said, my own interviews and conversations with elite Democrats2 and those who have talked to other reporters do suggest that some members of the establishment are nervous. So this is view is out there, even if I can’t quite tell you how pervasive it is. But however widespread the feeling is, I don’t think it’s too difficult to understand. Here are three explanations that cropped up in my reporting, ordered from most to least important (at least in my view):
An unorthodox group of front-runners
If you are a major Democratic donor or a Democratic National Committee member, you likely were a strong supporter of at least one of the last two Democratic presidents, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. You want to win the general election, and you’re looking for what’s worked in the past. In November 1991, Clinton was 45 years old and had served as Arkansas’s governor for more than a decade. In November 2007, Barack Obama was 46 years old and had served in the U.S. Senate for two years. Ideologically, both positioned themselves as center-left (as opposed to more openly liberal) during their campaigns.
I think if one of the candidates at the top of the polls was or had been a governor or senator, was between the ages of, roughly, 40 and 70, and was not considered either too liberal or too conservative by many in the party, then the party’s elites would not be casting about for someone else. Instead, from the point of view of these party elites, the leading contenders include …
A candidate who is charismatic and ideologically “safe,” but who’s only 37 years old and has never been elected to statewide office (Pete Buttigieg);
A candidate with lots of political experience who’s also ideologically “safe,” but who’s 76 years old (Joe Biden);
Two candidates with plenty of political experience and clear appeal, but who are far more liberal than most past nominees (Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders — also, Sanders is 78 years old).
Fellow FiveThirtyEight contributor Julia Azari, a Marquette University professor, argues in an essay in the book “The Making of the Presidential Candidates 2020” that there is a deep tension right now in the Democratic Party between “risk aversion and orientation toward the status quo” on the one hand and an increasingly powerful bloc pushing for more progressive ideas on the other. That status-quo-oriented group seems to be the one looking for alternatives.
Most key figures in the Democratic Party haven’t endorsed anyone yet. But among the endorsements we do have, you can see these elite preferences in action. Cory Booker (sitting senator, 50 years old, not as left as Sanders and Warren) is right behind Warren in number of endorsements so far, and Kamala Harris (sitting senator, 55 years old, not as left as Sanders and Warren) is well ahead of Warren in endorsements. Both Booker and Harris are also leading Sanders, despite clearly trailing Warren and Sanders in the polls. If Harris and, especially, Booker (because he is a man and would therefore be considered a safer choice by some Democrats) were polling at the level Warren is, my guess is that they would be getting a flood of endorsements and lots more buzz.
In short, party establishment figures think they know what a great White House candidate looks like — and they aren’t sure they’ve seen one yet. One longtime D.C.-based Democratic operative I talked to referred to “head-scratching” among the party’s establishment, “wondering why these super-talented candidates are making some really dumb mistakes.” Those mistakes, according to this strategist, included Biden’s campaign spending more than it raised from July to September, Buttigieg’s lack of succcessful outreach to black voters, Harris’s struggles to come up with a clear message and Warren fully embracing “Medicare for All.”
Worry about Warren
Party establishment types that I have talked to see a scenario in which Warren wins Iowa, where she is polling well, and New Hampshire, where voters are fairly familiar with the Massachusetts senator. With those two early wins, she becomes more popular, particularly with nonwhite voters, and basically sweeps to the nomination. This is basically what happened in 2004 with John Kerry and similar to what happened with Obama in 2008 (he came in a close second in New Hampshire). The party establishment types may be wrong in predicting that outcome, but they are speaking from their own recent experiences.
“If she wins Iowa, this whole thing could be over,” a DNC member told me.
And the prospect of a Warren nomination has some party insiders worried. Establishment Democrats often cast Warren as a bad general election candidate, but many of them simply don’t want her to be president — she has fairly aggressive policy plans to take on elite, wealthy Democrats (and Republicans). Bloomberg’s aides are essentially telegraphing a plan to stop Warren: If Biden struggles in the early states, the former New York mayor will enter the race on Super Tuesday, running as the moderate alternative to Warren instead of Biden.
Biden’s problems, according to the party elites I spoke with, boil down to a fear he won’t be able to stop Warren, and that he’s vulnerable largely because he is not clearly leading in Iowa or New Hampshire.
“Buttigieg, Warren and Sanders have created national movements around their candidacies; Biden absolutely has the potential to do that, but he hasn’t so far,” said Robert Zimmerman, a New Yorker who is both a longtime party donor and a DNC member.
I think Democratic elites are overly pessimistic about Biden’s candidacy. The former vice president, according to the polls, is a clear front-runner in the primary and polls well against Trump in the general election. It’s not even guaranteed that he will lose Iowa or New Hampshire, but even if he does, polling suggests Biden will still be in a strong position in Nevada and South Carolina because he does better with nonwhite voters.
But Democratic elites have never been enthralled with Biden as a potential general election candidate or president. When Biden considered a White House run in 2016, for instance, Barack Obama and his aides weren’t exactly encouraging — in fact, some of their moves bordered on discouraging. In all, Biden ran for president two times, in 1988 and 2008, and flirted with runs four other times, in 1980, 1984, 2004 and 2016. The party elite didn’t rally behind him in any of those races — and they aren’t doing so now.
Elites have basically given up on lower-tier candidates
You might be thinking, particularly regarding the nascent Holder and Patrick campaigns, what’s wrong with Cory Booker and Kamala Harris, the two center-left black candidates already in the race? Why doesn’t the establishment just unify behind one of the people who isn’t in the top four but who already has a campaign infrastructure and would be a fairly conventional party nominee? What about Amy Klobuchar or Julián Castro?
Donors and party elites don’t see these candidates as viable, because they’re so far down in the polls. (There is a bit of a contradiction here, in that the donors are pessimistic about Biden despite his strong polling but down on the other candidates because of their weak polling.)
There have been public reports about Harris’s campaign donors, in particular, starting to think that she is no longer a viable candidate. And even as Democratic establishment types emphasize the importance of nominating an electable candidate, they are making little effort to boost Gov. Steve Bullock of Montana or Sen. Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota, both of whom have won in areas where Trump was strong in 2016. (Trump won Montana and many rural counties in Minnesota that Klobuchar carried in 2018.)
“I think the problem isn’t so much that there is no one good in the field, but that it seems harder to get Harris or Booker to move to the front of the pack than it is to get an unknown to jump in and maybe immediately get attention and move to the front,” said Hans Noel, a Georgetown University professor and expert on dynamics within the two parties.
He added, “I don’t have any reporting on this, but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Patrick or Holder had been discouraged from running because someone like Booker or Harris or Castro was already in the field. Now that they [Booker, Harris, Castro] are not at the top, it’s a chance to get in.”
So how does this end? Is someone new really going to jump into the race? If so, will his or her campaign be viable? I tend to think that a last-ditch candidacy can’t win, unless maybe we are talking about someone really popular and well-known like Michelle Obama. I don’t think someone like Patrick has much of a chance to knock off Biden or Warren, who have been campaigning for months, raised millions of dollars and have staff on the ground in key states. I can’t rule out one of these people running anyway — Bloomberg and Patrick in particular have long flirted with running for president. They want the job, so maybe they convince themselves there is a path to get it even if there really isn’t.
But, in the end, I’d bet that the party establishment will accept whomever does well in primaries in February and March. I don’t think Bloomberg himself will ever endorse Warren if she does well in those first few contests, but he represents something of an extreme case. Would, for example, former top Obama aide Valerie Jarrett endorse the Massachusetts senator if she won the first four primaries, essentially signaling that the former president is fine with Warren as the nominee? I think that’s very possible. Like the Republican Party in the 2016 primary cycle it doesn’t appear that the Democratic establishment will collectively decide who the nominee should be before the voters weigh in. But the party will likely decide at some point to get behind Biden, Buttigieg, Warren or Sanders — and this autumn angst will seem like a distant memory.
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seeaddywrite · 5 years
Text
stars, hide your fires: chapter four
this chapter wouldn’t exist without @soberqueerinthewild‘s cheerleading, handholding, willingness to let me rant at her about my plot holes, & assistance with the word ‘soldier,’ which really shouldn’t be this hard to avoid. also, big thanks to @lire-casander for her cheerleading, assistance with middle names, & general fabulousness. 
the plan is to upload chapter five by Thursday evening :) thanks for reading this crazy adventure of mine.
AO3 LINK
chapter index: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4
It’s frighteningly easy to get a meeting set up with the oldest of Alex’s brothers. Charlie responds almost instantly to the email he sends requesting a face-to-face, and surprises everyone by saying that he’s already in Roswell, and would love to see Alex the next day at 0900. His presence doesn’t bode well for the secrets they’re trying to keep; Charlie’s a sniper in the Air Force Special Operations Task Force. He’s rarely stateside, and for him to be in Roswell either signifies that he knows something, or that there’s something else going on that Alex doesn’t know. Neither option makes Alex particularly optimistic, but he can’t allow it to change anything.
Going in the next day isn’t ideal. Alex had been hoping for longer to research and develop his narrative, but there’s no stalling now. He’d been the one to request the meet -- it’ll look suspicious if he asks to postpone now, which is the last thing he needs. Charlie always had a soft spot for Alex when they were kids, but Alex knows better than to think that will matter if he gives the slightest reason for Charlie to doubt his sincerity. While Charlie may have smuggled him snacks when their father locked him in his room, and brought painkillers to the shed when Alex hid there after a beating, he’s still Jesse Manes’ son. There’s no such thing as the benefit of the doubt in that world.
And, well -- Kyle had said it best, the evening before, when they’d finally settled down to review files and put together a game plan. “Aren’t any of you Manes guys normal meatheads?” he’d demanded, thumbing through Charlie’s file with increasingly anxious fingers. “Look at this! Charles A. Manes. Air Force Silver Star Recipient three different times. Sniper. Special Operations Task Force. Best known for taking out thirteen armed terrorists in a shoot-out by himself -- this is the guy you think has a soft spot for you? Seriously? What if he’s already talked to Flint and decides to shoot you on sight?”
At the time, Alex had waved off the concern and pointed out that none of Jesse Manes’ sons could ever be average. Not if they wanted his approval. Charlie was Spec Ops, Hunter was an ace pilot, and Flint was head of Research and Development in several major projects. They were all brilliant in their fields -- but Alex had the distinct advantage of being the only one who’d given orders. The rest of them, as he’d once accused Flint, are sheep. They’re exceptional as long as there are directives in play; without them, they’ll fall like marionettes with their strings cut.
At least, that’s Alex’s hope. As he stands in the middle of the bunker he’d requisitioned from Jesse Manes all those months ago, face-to-face with a brother he hasn’t seen in close to a decade, he’s not so sure. Valenti may have had a point, after all. Charlie looks nothing like the young man Alex remembers from brief visits between deployments; where once there’d been a liveliness to his dark eyes, there’s now only a cool, calculating stare. Age seems to have wiped away all traces of similarity to their mother, and Alex feels an uncomfortable wave of deja vu. Staring Charlie down in this bunker bears way too much similarity to the day he’d played the same game with their father and come out on top.
Sandy colored hair, shorn in military style that hides the greys just beginning at the temples, posture so ramrod straight that it looks painful, and features that may as well be carved out of granite -- Charlie’s entire appearance screams ‘Jesse Manes’ son,’ and Alex can’t help but wonder if he’s made a mistake, expecting any measure of softness from this man.
Just as he’s psyching himself out, though, Charlie steps forward and slaps Alex’s back in greeting. It’s as close to real affection as any of the Manes boys get, and, paired with a cool smile, it signifies that things are going even better than Alex could have hoped for. “It’s good to see you, kid,” Charlie tells him, glancing around the underground headquarters as if he was reacquainting himself with a space he hadn’t seen in a while. “You’re looking pretty good for a guy who got on the wrong end of an IED not so long ago. I’m impressed.”
Alex can’t help but stand a little straighter as Charlie looks him over, the response as automatic and ingrained as jerking awake at the first ray of sun on his face or jumping to attention when he hears the order. He’s spent a lot of time on base acting as if he’s still got two legs -- pity isn’t something he can tolerate, and at first, there’d been no escaping it. It’s not pity that he’s worried about with Charlie, though; he just doesn’t want to give away any weaknesses. His missing leg is something that can’t be helped, nor can his brother’s knowledge of the injury, but he can damn well be sure that it’s made clear that the prosthetic doesn’t slow him down.
“Sorry I couldn’t get back Stateside when you lost the leg,” Charlie continues, still scrutinizing Alex from all sides. “I tried, but I got shipped overseas two days later. Did you get my letter?”
It’s so far from the suspicious welcome that Alex had been bracing for that he’s momentarily speechless.
“I -- uh, yeah, I did,” Alex says when he pulls himself back together, and nods jerkily. “I meant to write back, but -”
Charlie shakes his head, a bizarrely affable smile on his face. “Don’t worry about it. You had more important things to worry about.” He moves around one of the temporary tables Alex has set up in the bunker, his every step infused with the sort of deadly grace that Alex could never hope to emulate. Charlie glances at some of the carefully-selected files spread out on top of the table. He never pauses long, but the laser-focus of his gaze tells Alex that he’s cataloguing every detail for later perusal.
It’s part of the plan, for Charlie to see the work Alex has been doing, to believe he’s as dedicated to protecting the world from aliens as the rest of the men in their family, but he still has to clench his fists in the pockets of his jacket to stop from fidgeting. There’s nothing about Michael or the Evans’ twins in the contents of those pages; Alex refuses to endanger them further, even though Max and Guerin had both told him to use whatever he had to in order to get the information he needed. There are too many ways for that to backfire, though, and he refuses to risk it. There are other ways to earn his way into Project Shepherd than by throwing his people under the bus.
“So,” Charlie says, after another moment of rifling through the files. “Dad decided to read you in, huh?”
This is where it starts to get tricky, and Alex feels every muscle in his body tense. It’s an effort to maintain his nonchalant facade, but he manages it. “I had to hack into his databases first,” he tells the other man honestly. “But, yeah. Eventually.” He’s talked through his story with Kyle and Guerin at least twenty times the night before, and he’s prepared for anything Charlie might ask. Anxiety ebbs away as he slides into the well-rehearsed cover, and Alex feels himself becoming steadier, more dangerous -- more of the man who’d survived Baghdad and ten years of active duty service.
“You know Dad would never trust me voluntarily. That hasn’t changed.” It’s no use pretending that Jesse had a magic change of heart about Alex’s ‘weakness.’ No one would be fooled. So the narrative isn’t so different from the truth, at least to begin. “But since I figured out the truth, even he can’t deny how useful I can be. At the very least, I can shore up your cyber defenses, because it took me less than half an hour to break in and get all of the intel on the Project’s servers. His access password was ‘password,’ for Christ’s sake.” There’s no pride in his tone, just matter-of-fact honestly and scorn for Jesse’s computer illiteracy.
“And then I found out about Caulfield, and I wanted to see it for myself, you know? I thought Dad was crazy, but if there was proof …” Alex lets the thought trail off deliberately, knowing that sometimes less is more when it comes to this sort of story.
The mention of the off-books base makes Charlie’s expression darken, just enough that Alex notices. He leans back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest in a way that makes his muscles stand out in stark relief against his brown t-shirt, and Alex’s jaw tightens momentarily. If Charlie thinks things like overt displays of physical dominance are enough to scare him, he’s got another thing coming -- after growing up in a house with their father, Alex is pretty much desensitized to anything that Charlie could possibly try.
“And then you went to Caulfield,” he prompts expectantly, eyes narrowed shrewdly. It’s a standard interrogation tactic employed by the military: don’t give away any of the answer when the question is asked. Use prompts rather than specifics. Lets the detained person say what’s really on their mind, take the answer in the direction they want -- and usually, they’ll implicate themselves.
Alex isn’t that stupid. He blinks wide, guileless eyes, and nods slowly. “Yeah. Then I went to Caulfield.” He leaves Kyle out of the story for now. Flint knows, so it’ll come up at some point, but Alex isn’t eager to bring his friend into the tale, and it’s not really relevant at the moment, anyway. “I had to see them for myself, Charlie. I mean, aliens? It sounds like something out of a fucking Star Wars movie, not real life. I needed to see it. So I went.”
As he speaks, Alex is careful to maintain that careful air of naivete. The act balances on the knife’s edge between uselessness and innocence, and he needs to stay just on the side of innocence. If he takes it too far, Charlie will write him off as foolish and unhelpful, and that’s the last thing he wants -- but it’s important he play the awed younger brother just trying to follow in the family footsteps. That’s his ticket into the game.
Charlie nods, his expression no less guarded. “And?”
Christ, he’s not making this easy. Not that Alex had expected him to -- but it would have been nice.
“And it’s hard to deny the truth when you’re standing right in front of them,” Alex says bluntly, letting some of the incredulity and fear he’d felt in that place seep into his expression. It feels odd, to be so calculating of his every movement and facial tic around someone that’s supposed to be his family, but he doesn’t let that stop him from doing it anyway. “Dad’s right. You’re all right. There are fucking aliens invading our planet -- and I want to be part of trying to stop them.”
Silence echoes in the space between the two men, and Alex doesn’t look away from Charlie, doesn’t give him the chance to think that he might be lying. Instead, he lets that announcement sink in for a moment, then continues: “I know you’ve heard Dad saying that I’m weak for our entire lives, but I’ve served three tours on active duty, and did my time on the ground, just like the rest of you. I signed up to serve and protect my country, and I’ve done it. That’s part of who I am, now, and I can’t just ignore the alien threat. Dad may not like it, but I’m part of this family, too. Protecting people is in my DNA just as much as it is yours -- I want to be a part of Project Shepherd. I want to help.”
The lies taste like ash in his mouth, and everything integral to Alex’s being rebels against the idea of being just another Manes sheep with no free will of his own. He’s had literal nightmares about that, about what he could have been capable of if his father had been able to crush his will. But he knows what Charlie wants to hear -- it’s the same thing all of his brothers have wanted to hear for his entire life. They want him to be one of them, another nameless airman in the generational parade, want him to stop asking questions and fall in line. And, most importantly, Alex knows what Charlie will be willing to believe. He’s learned from experience that people remember their first encounters with a person more than anything else. And to Charlie, Alex is always going to be the little boy determined to follow in his big brother’s footsteps, desperate for approval and in need of protection and advice.
Charlie shifts his weight on his shiny, black boots, and looks at Alex steadily. “We’ve already got three people trying to run things here, Alex,” he says carefully, and the omission of ‘kid’ is either a sign of respect, or a signal that Charlie is trying to distance himself from Alex. Guessing which is dangerous, so Alex doesn’t try. “And even if I say yes, Dad’s not likely to be happy about it when he gets back. He’s been pretty clear about not wanting you onboard for a long time.”
He appreciates that Charlie doesn’t try to pretend that Jesse Manes gives two shits about Alex. It’s easier that way, with at least some honesty between them -- and Alex has always hated it when someone tried to tell him that his father does care about him. Fathers who love their sons don’t break their bones to show it. They don’t spend years attempting to reshape their souls with their fists, like it’s nothing more than clay on a potter’s wheel.
Alex snorts. “Dad’s never wanted me around, Charlie. That’s not news to me. But you said ‘when he gets back,’ right?” He’s walking the razor’s edge, now, and knows that if he over or under sells the act here, this is as far his mission will go. “If he’s not here, you’re running things.” It’s not a guess; Alex is no stranger to chain of command, and Charlie’s the highest ranking of the brothers by virtue of age, at the very least.
“I’ve been stateside for three days, Alex,” Charlie says with a sigh, running a hand over his shorn hair. It’s the first sign of stress that he’s shown since arrival, and it’s enough to tell Alex that he’s getting somewhere. Charlie wants the extra help, wants to have another person to depend on -- it’s a fair bet he’s got access to Alex’s personnel file, too, and knows that Alex has the skills to actually be helpful.
In other words, Alex has got an opening, and he’s going to exploit it.
“And I’ve only been in Roswell for less than twenty-four hours. Dad fucked off somewhere without any warning months ago, and Flint and Hunter have taken on most of the responsibility here. I can’t just read you in without talking to them first. It wouldn’t be right -- especially since Flint is pretty damned sure you purposefully blew up Caulfield with Kyle fucking Valenti.”
The words don’t particularly surprise Alex; of course Charlie and Flint would have been in contact in the last six months if they’ve been working together. To make matters worse, Flint likely would have contacted Jesse as soon as it happened. Alex can’t be certain, but he’d be willing to be that intel is why Jesse showed up in Roswell despite Alex’s warnings and tried to kill Kyle, around the same time Max brought Rosa back to life. So no, he’s not thrown off by the fact that Charlie knows more than he let on initially -- but it’s still irritating to have it thrown back in his face.
Alex narrows his eyes and crosses his own arms over his chest, keeping his weight perfectly centered on his legs to hide the ache that’s started in his bad knee from standing and posturing for so long. “Flint thinks I blew up a secure facility and nearly killed myself on purpose?” he asks, acid dripping from the words. “No wonder he’s been stuck in R&D for ten years. He’s clearly got no fucking common sense.”
Charlie quirks an eyebrow in an expression that Alex recognizes from looking in the mirror. “So you didn’t blow it up on purpose?”
“I didn’t blow it up at all!” Alex says, the anger in his exclamation genuine. He’s not willing to take all of those deaths on his conscience, not even in a lie. “Some security protocol went off and the whole damn base self-destructed before I could do much more than stare at an old woman through the glass door, and get some insane story about a cancer-causing alien that sent Valenti off the deep end.” He sits slowly at the computer desk and tapped out a short sequence on the keyboard. On the monitors, the security footage of Valenti Sr. being shoved into the alien’s containment unit and, presumably, contracting brain cancer. Alex watches steadily, refusing to waver now. “If I’d realized that Valenti was going to find out our father murdered his, I would’ve left him in Roswell.”
Talking about something that is still causing Kyle so much pain in such a cavalier fashion makes Alex hate himself. He wants to scream when Charlie just nods, his lips twisted in disdain, like Kyle’s reaction to realizing his father had been murdered was somehow pathetic instead of justified. Thankfully, Alex doesn’t have to work very hard to hide his reaction; both he and Charlie are looking at the screens. “My guess is that he cracked one of containment cells, trying to get at the one who gave Jim the tumor, and it sparked the self-destruct.”
Guerin hasn’t been mentioned thus far, and Alex knows Flint had no idea of his presence at Caulfield, so there’s no hesitation as Alex rewrites the truth to fit his needs. It would be stupid, if he didn’t know for a fact that Guerin’s not on any surveillance footage from that day -- Alex had been sure of that. He’d torn his way through the cyber defenses of whatever server the video had been backed-up on without any finesse and erased everything, practically daring them to trace the data trail back to him. It hadn’t been smart, but Alex hadn’t been in the right headspace to be smart, back then. Not after witnessing Michael losing his mother a moment after finding her. Not after their near-escape from a deadly explosion. Not after being shoved out of Michael’s life and losing the only sense of family he’d ever known for his best friend --
At the time, Alex had almost hoped they’d come for him.
But Guerin is safe, for now, because of that stupidity, so Alex can’t bring himself to regret it.
Charlie’s brows furrow as he digests that explanation, and Alex can see his certainty waver. In that moment, Alex goes for the throat -- figuratively, of course. “Charlie, please,” he says, closing the video on the server and spinning his chair back around to look at his brother head-on. “You and Flint and Hunter are the only family I’ve got left. And you know I can be useful. None of you have the tech skills that I do, or the inside knowledge of Roswell. I’ve been here for months. I still have roots and connections here that none of you do. I can help. All you have to do is let me. And when Dad gets back, I promise, he won’t be able to deny that I’ve done good work.”
As he speaks, Alex is eight and standing in the kitchen of the house they all grew up in, begging a twenty-year-old Charlie to stay home after their mother had finally had enough and left. Then it’s Charlie, coming back on leave and swinging a six-year-old Alex around while he laughs. Or Charlie, smirking as Alex proudly smashed a guitar over Flint’s head at twelve, or the man in uniform, boarding the plane to take him back to the Middle East with a small smile over his shoulder just for Alex, who’s fifteen and cradling a broken wrist against his chest. It’s almost easy to want Charlie to believe him, to want to truly be on his brother’s side -- because despite everything he knows about Project Shepherd and the horrible things his brothers have done, a small, childish part of Alex is always going to want their acceptance.
But as much as Alex cherishes the memories of Charlie’s kindness, he hates the feelings of helplessness and impotence they evoke more. Since enlisting, Alex has built his life on the pillars of control and logic, his own sort of power, to make up for the lack in his childhood, and stepping into this situation has cost him all that work.
But this is for Michael, for Liz and Kyle and everyone in that group who’d come to mean something to him, and for them, Alex will allow his foundations to crumble, if that’s what it takes. This is only shaking them a little -- and tonight, at least, Alex has the promise of returning home to the one person who always makes him feel safe and stable.
“I’ll talk to Flint and Hunter,” Charlie says after a long, fraught silence.
Alex can read the answer in his eyes, though -- he’s convinced the man that he can be trusted, and he’s done a good enough job that he can be sure Charlie will persuade the others one way or another. The calculating, ruthless part of his mind that Alex tries to keep locked down is pleased at the ease with which he manipulated Charlie -- the rest of him, the human parts, just feel cold.
“I can’t guarantee anything until I talk to them, and I’d be thinking of some specific ways to show them you’re worth the risk,” Charlie continues, and Alex’s stomach sinks. Proving his worth to an anti-alien task force is going to involve doing a lot of shit he doesn’t want to think about, he’s sure -- but that’s a problem for another day. He made it through today’s set, and Alex has every intention of taking the whole match. And he’ll have some time to plan, now -- if Hunter’s still in Afghanistan, as his records indicate, there’s no way Charlie will have a response for him in the next day or even two. Alex will make damn sure to take advantage of that time.
“Thanks, Charlie,” Alex says with a smile that rings false to himself, but would fool anyone who didn’t know him well -- which, ironically enough, described his brother perfectly.
“Don’t thank me yet,” the older man says with a grim twist of his lips, and for a moment, Alex wonders why he looks so unhappy. Is he really that worried about selling the idea to Flint and Hunter, who hang off of his every word? Or is this fear of their father -- reluctance to go against his will? Alex doesn’t know, but he wishes Charlie would stop looking at him with those pitying, worried eyes. It’s making it harder to keep the smile on his face.
To the younger brother’s unending surprise, Charlie pushes away from the wall he’s been leaning against and moves closer, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Take a couple of days of leave and think this over while I reach out, huh? This isn’t like the other ops you’ve been involved in. It’s not something you ever get to walk away from. Just -- remember that. Consider your options. You never wanted this life, kid, and you’ve already lost enough.” Dark eyes, so close in color to Alex’s own, sweep over his body to linger on his bad leg, and Alex shivers despite himself.
Shock jolts like electricity down Alex’s spine at the thinly-veiled warning, and he opens his mouth to ask why Charlie is suddenly so worried about his choices -- or maybe to deny that he wants anything but the mission? Alex isn’t even sure. But Charlie is already walking away by the time Alex pulls himself together enough to speak. “I’ll call when I’ve got an answer for you,” he says over his shoulder, deep voice echoing off of the cavernous walls of the bunker as he begins the ascent to the surface.
Alex stays seated in his desk chair long after Charlie disappears, staring at the blank wall in front of him. Doubt and insecurity encroaches on him, flickering like shadows in the corner of his mind, and for the first time, Alex allows himself to wonder if he’s gotten in over his head. For a long, dark hour, he lets his mind conjure one possible scenario after another, each one growing darker and darker, and all ending in the death of everyone he cares about. What if Charlie’s warning was a hint that they know his plan? What if his brothers are three steps ahead while Alex is lagging behind? What if they’re going after Guerin and the others as he sits here feeling sorry for himself? What if he loses the few parts of his soul that the war left him with?
Eventually, Alex can’t take it anymore. The walls of the bunker are closing in on him, and if he doesn’t leave this place soon, he’s not sure he’ll be able to pull himself out of the spiral Charlie’s warnings had started. It’s so stupid that he’s reacting this way -- but he’s been running on caffeine and adrenaline and sheer stubborn determination for the last thirty-six hours, and now that the immediate threat is past, everything else is crashing down on him at once. The burden he’d taken on. The responsibility he’s shouldering. The fact that to succeed in this mission, he’s going to have to send Charlie and the rest of his biological family to prison.
Usually, when he has moments like this, Alex finds himself sitting behind the bar at the Wild Pony, or in the middle of Liz’s living room, or even with Mimi DeLuca in her little apartment. Being alone had never been particularly good for Alex’s mental health, and he knows that none of them would turn him away.
But there’s only one other place he wants to be right now, and it’s not with any of them -- and for once, Alex is pretty sure that he won’t be turned away.
Drawing in a deep, determined breath, Alex stands slowly, finds his equilibrium, and points himself toward home.
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thedeviltohisangel · 6 years
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You Say It Softly//3//Thought I’d End Up With You
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Jim & Leah move into their new house and share some exciting news with Medina & an unexpected guest. (or Leah is pregnant and Jim can’t control himself)
Warnings: mention of past drug abuse
my URL/writing to catch up with Jim/Michael/Duncan!
Drop any requests for these two in my inbox or DMs!
Jim had told her that he wanted to surprise her for the first night in their house. He got giddy just thinking about it. From their apartment in Stanford they had moved to South Africa, where Leah had been placed for Doctors Without Borders, and after learning she was going to have their baby, they had made the decision to come back to California.
He still found himself in awe of the life he had built for himself, with Leah, and now for their new addition. Jim hoped it was a boy so he could do things differently than his parents had done with him. Never let his son feel less than treasured.  
“You want me to go to Home Goods?” Leah questioned as Jim was ushering her out the door. “Normally you’re begging me to stay away from there.”
“My darling wife, when you come back, I’ll have a surprise for you to celebrate our first house. Our first night in our new house. I just figure sending you there will give me more than enough time to pull it all together.” She narrowed her eyes at him.
“Jim Mason-”
“Please, my love? For me?” She couldn’t deny him anything and he knew that. Especially not when he was looking at her with those blue eyes that she prayed every night were passed along to the child inside of her.
“Fine. I won’t ask any more questions. But if there is a mess in my new home when I get back then my nesting will be out of control and you’ll be dealing with me that way for the rest of the night.” He had caught her in the room they had designated for the nursery folding blankets over and over again that morning. Even back in Cape Town Jim had found her washing the brand-new toys they had gotten as a gift from one of their local friends in the early hours of the morning because she couldn’t sleep knowing they were unorganized in a basket.
“You better hope our child is born with your demeanor. For both our sakes.” She slapped his chest.
“Well if they are anything like you then it is your task to wrangle them.” Jim couldn’t wait to chase his child down the beach. Teach them about the waves and the sun and how to surf. He had been reckless in his youth, almost losing Leah and the life he had now built with her. He didn’t know how many different ways he could thank her for never losing faith in him. For building herself around him as his sense of stability and strength.
“I’ll gladly take on that responsibility,” he murmured as he brought her hand to his lips for a kiss. “Now, go and get some throw pillows and spoons or whatever it is.”
“Jim, you were the one telling me how much you like copper motifs. Don’t pretend you don’t know what it is that Home Goods sells.” She drew him in for one last kiss before she finally acquiesced to his pleas to give him some space for whatever surprise he was planning.
She could smell whatever it was that he had cooked as soon as she pulled into the driveway. It wafted throughout the air and put a smile on her face. It smelled like home. Like love. Like he was putting all his happiness and hope for the future into the meal he was making for them inside.  
“Sprinkles?” she called as she slipped her shoes off by the door.  
“Wait! Don’t come in here yet.” Obligingly, she stood by the door and rubbed the small bump that was beginning to become noticeable under her shirts. She would have to start wearing Jim’s in order to keep it a secret until her doctor said it was safe to tell people.
“Your child and I are hungry.” Mentioning their baby was increasingly becoming her calling card when puppy dog eyes weren’t enough to get Jim on her side. It was very rare that he would deny her even the slightest of things, how could he when she was the one he credited with saving his life, but every once and awhile she needed to take the ace out of the back of her pocket.
“Close your eyes,” he said with a smile as he walked towards where she stood. She did so with an excited giggle and he placed his hands over her eyes for extra safety before helping her walk into the kitchen. “Happy housewarming, baby.” He removed his hands and she opened her eyes. Jim had set the table for two with lit candles and cloth napkins and chilled glasses for water. It had made him elated earlier when he remembered they would have to forgo their usual cocktail because of the baby that resided inside his wife.
“Jim…” Leah gasped as she took it all in. “You cooked this from scratch?” In the middle of the table sat a lasagna with sauce and cheese bubbling over the side of the baking dish. Her stomach growled louder than the light music Jim had put on for ambiance.
“Of course. This is the first night of the rest of our lives. We have a home. We have a baby on the way. I’ve never been happier, Leah, and I wanted to celebrate it with you because you’ve made this all possible for me. Without you, I would’ve missed out on all of this.” She turned at his mention of the night she had found him on the beach. They didn’t talk about it much because Jim had come so far and Leah never wanted to risk his mind going back to that place.
“You make me so happy, Jim Mason. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to be partner in all the crazy things we’ve been through and will go through.” She sniffled as he bent down to kiss her.
“Let’s stop being so mushy and eat, alright?”
Dinner was spent with their hands laced together under the table and sock covered feet tangling together. Afterwards, Leah was lying down on the couch, warm and full and happy while Jim cleared the table of their plates.
“Thank you for dinner, Jimmy. It was a very nice surprise and I can’t wait for your from scratch meals every night.” Her smile was teasing as he came around and sat on the couch with her head on his lap.
“You make it difficult to not want to spoil you.”
“Just wait until our little bub comes. If you can’t say no to me…” They were both looking forward to being wrapped around the finger of their little one. “After my appointment tomorrow should we go to the beach? I can watch you surf like we’re in high school again.” Back in Cape Town, Jim had started a surfing school for little kids. He thought if he could give them an outlet early on in their little lives then they wouldn’t look for an unhealthy option later on like he had. It had broken his heart to have to leave them all behind but he had his burgeoning family to take care of.
“Isn’t that how you got pregnant in the first place?”
“I can’t help that you surfing turns me on, Jim. Didn’t you fall in love with my ass before you did my face?”
“I can’t help that you pranced around in that little palm tree leaf bikini like you owned the beach.”
“You remember the pattern?”
“Of course,” he whispered as the intensity of her gaze settled over him. Jim had loved her long before he had told her. The safety and sense of belonging that she had offered him at the lowest point in his life was not something he could ever forget nor was it something that he took lightly. “Thinking of you and every little detail of you helped me cope when the urge became too much while I was away.” Leah sat up at his words and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“I’m so proud of you, Jim. You’re so strong.” Anytime Jim made a mention of his past struggles with drugs she tried to make simple affirmations to shine the light back onto him. They rubbed noses, as they always did when they were sealing their words with each other. “I think little bub is ready for bed.” Leah’s yawn put an emphasis on her words. Her pregnancy had tired her out consistently and she felt bad that she hadn’t had the time for pillowtalk with Jim or to have sex with him. They missed their intimate moments together, they had a plethora of them since leaving Palos Verdes, but they would find a way to make time for a new kind of intimacy.
“Okay. Let’s get you both tucked in.” Along the way Jim had taken on some caretaker roles that normally had been reserved for her. It was nice to see him comfortable and confident enough in himself to be the rock for someone else.
He pressed kisses that acted as whispers of his love along her back as she dozed peacefully. He wasn’t quite tired yet but it helped Leah to sleep if Jim as snuggled next to her. He used this time as his opportunity to study her and thank whoever brought her into his life that they did. There were many things about moving from Michigan to Palos Verdes that Jim had detested. Many things about the gated community that had almost killed him. But she was the reason he had to go through all that suffering. He walked through the fire so he could get to the ocean of love she had to give him. He’d do it all again if it meant ending up where he is now, with her by his side.
When her breathing evened out and small snores began to escape from her lips he gently disentangled himself from her and shimmied down so his face when even with her belly. “Hey little one,” Jim whispered with a kiss, “Tomorrow you’ll be three months along and I’ll be that much closer to getting to meet you. I can’t wait to be your daddy. I already love you so much, okay? Don’t ever think that I don’t. I won’t let you ever think that I don’t.” He nuzzled his nose against her skin with a few more kisses before he returned his head to his pillow. He didn’t notice the smile Leah now had on her face.
The next morning they sat in the waiting room of Leah’s OB/GYN and Jim’s grip on her hand was threatening to break hers.
“Why are so anxious?” she asked, her eyes focusing on his leg that he hadn’t stopped bouncing since they sat down.
“Cause if everything goes well today, we can start telling people. My mind is just racing with all the horrible things my mother might say.”
“Then we don’t have to tell your mom.” His leg paused as he turned to look at her. Leah shrugged. “Jim, it’s our baby. We don’t have to tell anyone until we want to.” Sandy Mason had thrown enough of a fit when Medina had let slip Jim had gotten married on the beach in Cape Town with only her as a witness. Having his mother berate him over the phone while they were in the airport had almost been enough for all his work to come crumbling down. Knowing that Leah had gotten pregnant before the wedding, that Leah was pregnant at all, would be the ultimate betrayal of Jim in her mind.
“You’re right. This is a special time for us. Only people who are happy for us should be able to share in these moments with us.”
“You don’t think your mom would be happy for us?” Leah ultimately did not care what Sandy thought of her, she had long since gotten over the idea that his mother thought of her the same way she did the real estate agent Phil left her for, but she wanted Sandy to at least be happy for Jim. He still held their relationship as somewhat important in his mind and a son should be able to have a loving relationship with his mother.
“She’d be mad we didn’t use protection. She’d be mad I’m tying myself to a woman who isn’t her. She’d be mad that I have another person to take care over that isn’t her.” Leah didn’t have time to respond as a nurse stepped out and said it was her turn.
She changed into the gown they offered her and lay down on the exam bed, Jim’s hand still laced through her own. “I can’t wait to hear the heartbeat,” Jim mused. He hadn’t really grasped that it was a little life existing inside of his wife until the steady had echoed around the exam room. He had been in absolute awe, laughing with Leah as they both cried in happiness.
“Are you going to cry again?” He had every time and she found it to be the sweetest thing in the world. She was elated every time she saw Jim that happy and even more so when she knew that she was the source of that happiness.
“Probably,” he shrugged. Anything relating to Leah and the love they shared together made him emotional. Jim had spent too long trying to keep up a tough guy persona and suppressing the things life made him feel. Part of his rehabilitation had been to learn how to let himself feel and how to then cope with them, not to ignore them and deal with the repercussions.
“Hi Dr. Khalilah.” Jim sat up straighter as the doctor came into the room with her assistant. He had spent a lot of time around doctors with Leah being one and he always tried to look and act more professional around them. She had chastised him for it but he still tried to sit straighter or control his barking laugh more.
“Your belly has gotten bigger since the last time I saw you, it looks like it’s coming along perfectly. Feeling okay?” Jim tightened his grip on her hand as the doctor lifted her gown to look at the bump. He had already felt so protective over it, one particular incident in Cape Town leading him to punch a guy that he thought came too close to the precious life he and his wife had created.
“Nothing out of the ordinary. I’m hungry all the time, I pee all the time and I’m tired all the time.” Leah had taken to keeping a pregnancy journal, jotting down every change she sensed her body going through as a way of making sure nothing out of the ordinary happened. It also was an excuse for her to buy a new notebook.
“And what about you, Jim? Settle into the idea that you’ll be a dad in the next six months?” He looked at Leah as he answered.
“I can’t wait. I was ready the moment she told me.” He brought their joined hands to his lips for a kiss before Leah did the same in return.
She hissed slightly as the cool gel for the ultrasound hit her stomach, Jim smiling in anticipation of seeing their little peanut on the screen. The doctor moved the wand around until she found the baby, Jim nodding along as she explained the measurements she was taking and how their baby seemed to be growing right on schedule.
“He or she looks very healthy and is on pace for your due date in six months. I’m going to send you for some more blood work because your blood sugar in your last round was a little high but we can get that sorted out.”
“Can we listen to the heartbeat?” Jim asked eagerly. The doctor nodded and a flipped a switch on the machine, a steady thrumming entering the room. Leah’s heartbeat had become an ultimate source of comfort for him, whenever the world felt like it was becoming too much he would rest his head on her chest and center himself, and the baby’s heartbeat was doing the same.
“Strong and sure,” the doctor noted with a smile before she shut it off.
“Just like their daddy,” Leah whispered to Jim as her free hand ran through his hair.
“Amelia will print you some photos while you get dressed. I’ll see you next week to check on your bloodwork.” They thanked her as she left, Jim grabbing the towel they had left behind and gently wiping the gel off Leah’s stomach.
“Can you believe we only have six months to wait? It was crazy hearing her say it out loud,” she mused as Jim helped her pull the gown over her head, handing her the pile of her clothes. He hummed in agreement as he came to stand in between her legs, both hands caressing her bump and a long kiss being shared with her.
“Let’s tell Medina tomorrow. She’ll be so happy and when she came to the wedding I feel like she somehow knew you were pregnant anyways.”
“That’s true. She did keep making comments about stuffed animals and bassinets. And she was very forceful in making me go into that baby shop downtown.” Jim chuckled at the image of his sister dragging her into the baby store. Leah and him had pretended to just be meandering around and looking and keeping the fact that they were making lists of what to come back for a secret.
“I love you, Sugar, thank you for going on this journey with me.”
“I can’t imagine doing it with anyone else, Sprinkles.”
Leah was finishing up the chicken sausage that was sauteeing on the stove when the doorbell rang. “Jim! Can you get that, I’m watching something on the stove.” She heard him come bounding down the stairs and the door open but then there was silence. Her brows furrowed in confusion at the lack of excited sounds that were coming from the foyer, Leah thinking that Medina would have been too difficult to contain with her brother moving back to California and having a new house for her to escape to. She pulled the loose sweater she was wearing to hide her bump until the big reveal closer around her and shut off the gas flame before heading towards the door.
“Look who showed up?” Jim said with a tight smile as Leah stopped once she saw the image in front of her. Not only was Medina standing in her doorway but so was Sandy Mason.
His mother talked to Jim during dinner as if he was the only one present at the table. Leah tried valiantly to keep her eye rolls to a minimum but couldn’t help it as she pushed her food around her plate and listened to Sandy make kissing noises at Jim for what felt like the hundredth time.
“So, Leah, I heard you’re working at that practice on Stone Street?” Grateful to Medina for having interrupted her mother, Leah opened her mouth to respond but was beaten to it by Sandy.
“Jim, how come you didn’t tell me that?”
“Because, mom, I haven’t had the chance.” They had both been so excited for the evening, to share their happy news with someone for the first time and Jim was more than aware of the fact that his wife was slowly deflating next to him. “In fact, it’s because Leah and I have gotten some really good news and it’s been keeping us busy.” She looked at Jim in horror. She had agreed to telling Medina. Not his mother.
“Jim, maybe now isn’t the right time…” He shook his head.
“We were so excited to finally share the news and I’m not letting this...change in plans ruin that for us,” he took a deep breath and laced his hand with Leah’s under the table, “Leah and I are expecting a baby.” Medina clapped her hand over her mouth and scurried to the other side of the table to embrace her sister-in-law in a hug.
“Oh my God! Let me look at the bump!” Leah giggled and stood up, opening her cardigan so it showed. “Oh it’s real! This is really happening! I’m so happy for you two!” She pulled Leah into a hug.
“This is so wrong.” The three turned to look at Sandy as the words came out of her mouth. “I’m sorry, Jimmy, but you were too young to get married and you are certainly too young to be a father.” It felt like a sucker punch to his gut. He had been on such a high ever since Leah had told him around a bonfire on the beach and here his mother was, bursting his bubble.
“Mom, how can you say that?” Medina asked incredulously as she turned to face her mother.
“I’m going to go...go to the…” Leah motioned behind her towards the bathroom before she hurried away from the dinner table. The last thing she wanted was for Sandy Mason to see her cry and think she had finally managed to break her.
“Get her out of my house, Medina.” Jim threw his napkin down on the table as he stood to follow his wife in the direction she had gone.
He tried the knob but it was locked. He could hear her sniffles and strangled sobs through the door. “Leah, Sugar, open up. It’s just me. Mom’s gone.” The door opened and her eyes peered through the small crack warily before she opened it enough for Jim to slip through. “I’m so sorry she said that to you. I got caught up in the moment and my own happiness I didn’t think. I just spoke. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. At least Medina was happy.” Leah was refusing to look at him. She was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue and keep her gaze focused on her feet which were slowly disappearing because of her bump. “Your mom made me feel like I should be ashamed. Like our little bump is a badge of…” She blew her nose instead of finishing her thought.
“No, no, no, don’t let her put that thought in your head.” He cupped the back of her head and tucked her under his chin. “We’re our own tribe, Leah, me, you and our little one. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks outside of us.” She always tried so hard to be strong for Jim, to never have to put him in a position to feel burdened by her thoughts and feelings the way she might have felt towards him in the past. On the rare occasions that she faltered, he always stepped up. He would always be strong for her.
“We’re our own tribe,” she repeated back to him. Jim got on his knees and pressed kisses to her belly.
“This, is a badge of honor. You’re strong enough to carry a child. My child. Our child,” he emphasized each proclamation with a kiss, “You look like a goddess.” She was blushing now, her tears effectively stopped by his affirmations.
“Sometimes...sometimes I think about where I would be if I hadn’t...that night on the beach.” They both knew what would have happened to Jim if she hadn’t found him but with all the newness in her life Leah had begun to wonder where she would be.
Jim stood up so he could rest his forehead against hers. “I don’t know that anyone could love me the way you do, Jim, and I don’t know that I could love anyone the way I love you, have always loved you.”
“Then it’s a good thing you’re my guardian angel. We don’t have to worry about stuff like that.” One weekend when Leah had visited him in his facility he had apologized to her for not thinking about how she would have been affected by his death. For placing his addiction above her happiness. “Thank you for finding me.” He had said it before, long ago, but they had gotten into the habit of not talking about that night on the beach.
“Thank you for staying with me, Jimmy. You make me the happiest girl in the world and I’ll be forever thankful for you and your love.”
And in their tiny bathroom, on a Wednesday night in California, they continued to fall in love.
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whittlebaggett8 · 6 years
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China’s Reputation for Long-Range Planning Is Wildly Exaggerated
Really do not be misled by the erroneous idea that China possesses some uniquely profitable ability for extended-array setting up.
By David Skidmore for The Diplomat
March 22, 2019
As People in america confront a long-term contest for world impact in opposition to a rising China, just one typical resource of stress is China’s supposedly exceptional potential for prolonged-range setting up around that of the United States’ national management. In accordance to previous U.S. Secretary of Condition Henry Kissinger, China’s authoritarian leaders are masters of very long-array strategic setting up educated by timeless rules derived from China’s wealthy record and society. China expert Michael Pillsbury – reportedly an influential outside the house adviser to President Donald Trump – goes so much as to declare that China’s leadership follows a secret century-long strategy for attaining worldwide dominance by 2049.
The vision of American politicians, meanwhile, extends no further more than the next election even though corporate leaders are at the mercy of trader responses to quarterly stockholder reviews. America’s 24-hour news cycle forces leaders into reactive manner and offers very little incentive for very long-term considering.
Nonetheless this contrast is wildly off-base. China’s name for sensible prolonged-assortment planning is vastly overrated. Around and about, the Chinese Communist Party has prioritized close to-term economic expansion and political stability even when carrying out so generated predictably destructive extended-expression effects. 3 illustrations provide to illustrate this stage.
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Inhabitants Scheduling
China’s a person-child plan, adopted in 1979, manufactured a three-10 years demographic sweet-spot. The expanding workforce of the 1980s and 1990s supported unusually modest cohorts of young and old. In other phrases, China loved an age dependency ratio extremely favorable for financial advancement.
Yet even with out contemplating the uncertain ethics of such a draconian policy, Beijing’s method to managing overpopulation set China on the path towards an approaching demographic time bomb. The youth cohorts moving into the workforce are far too tiny to swap the much more substantial cohorts now achieving retirement age. As a outcome, China’s workforce has entered a time period of steep decrease. Fewer employees will be known as on to help a escalating variety of elderly Chinese. The common age of the workforce will also increase swiftly and indeed will exceed that of the United States by mid-century.
In a society with sturdy cultural biases favoring males, the just one-youngster plan also prompted moms and dads to utilize unlawful sex-selective abortion to rid on their own of female fetuses. As a end result, China has a remarkably skewed sexual intercourse ratio of males to women. Tens of millions of small-status males confront bleak marriage prospective buyers, rendering them ripe for involvement in escalating social unrest.  
Possessing rigidly stuck with its questionable one particular-boy or girl policy for considerably too long, Beijing’s modern loosening will do minimal to change the demographic troubles ahead.
Environmental Arranging
Likewise, the Chinese leadership’s lengthy-pursued coverage of sacrificing the environmental excellent of the nation’s water, air, and land in favor of speedy economic advancement likewise illustrates Beijing’s preference given to short-expression above long-time period factors in setting up. For a long time, China’s mindful choice to dismiss destructive environmental externalities artificially boosted growth figures even though hiding the cleanse-up charges and long-phrase health and fitness impacts that will have to now be borne.
As increasing well-liked anger in excess of air and h2o pollution grew to become a source of political risk to the Chinese Communist Bash, Beijing released an increasingly aggressive anti-pollution campaign above the past ten years. However restructuring the financial system out of soiled industries and cleansing up the sky-large stages of amassed air pollution from previous many years is high-priced. Anti-air pollution expending through the latest five-yr financial program amounts to $1 trillion. The stark choices China now faces could have been softened by way of a much more prudent method to balancing expansion with the ecosystem in the previous.
Financial Scheduling
Ultimately, a huge stimulus program in 2008 as a response to the international financial disaster authorized China to stay clear of a significant economic downturn at the time, but also set China on a route wherein the economy became dependent upon continual credit history enlargement. All round general public and personal debt in China rose from 162 p.c of GDP in 2008 to 266 per cent of GDP in 2017 – the optimum of any main economy in the earth. As a outcome, enormous bailouts will be demanded to control the unsustainable credit card debt levels of condition-owned enterprises. In an effort and hard work to increase employment, China has vastly overinvested in the two infrastructure and major industries this sort of as steel and autos, with the final result that quite a few factories work at a fraction of their capacity. Indeed, the amount of money of expense needed to produce an supplemental device of GDP development has doubled considering that the early 2000s.
There are other illustrations. The extremely fast expansion of bigger training has compromised excellent and produced huge numbers of graduates doing work at very low-amount positions for which they are overqualified. CCP Standard Secretary Xi Jinping has reversed the relative liberalization that occurred below his predecessors, with the consequence that the charge of interior safety is rising while the movement of info needed for social and financial innovation is declining.
China’s previous successes, amazing as they definitely are, may not be a superior indicator of what is to arrive. A lot of of the strategies that stimulated expansion and secured political steadiness for the duration of modern many years centered on brief- and medium-expression outcomes when disregarding extensive-phrase fees that are now starting to be apparent.
Political Regimes and Planning
The perception that Chinese leaders have bigger liberty to believe and program long term than their American counterparts is rooted in the check out that democracy is a lot more a hindrance than an asset. Yet even though American politicians be concerned about re-election, they seldom doubt that the community considers the simple institutions of democracy legitimate. Not so for Communist Social gathering leaders, which is why they reply so vigorously to any trace of unrest and why they position priority on short-time period development even when such procedures create extended-operate suffering.
Moreover, democracy and marketplaces both give comments mechanisms that signal when governments or firms are on the completely wrong path, letting corrective motion to acquire location. The moment a CCP policy turns into entrenched – such as the one-kid policy, or environmentally damaging economic procedures, or overinvestment in infrastructure and too much reliance upon debt – feedback indicators are far too muted and mechanisms of accountability too weak to ensure a transform in class. These shortcomings partly demonstrate why so couple of of the financial reforms authorised at the 18th Communist Party Congress of 2012 have truly been applied hence considerably.
None of this is to deny that extensive-array organizing faces a distinct and also powerful established of hurdles in the United States. Even so, on the other hand, we should not be misled by the faulty idea that China possesses some uniquely effective ability for eyesight and extended-assortment setting up. Relatively than appear with longing upon China’s authoritarian product, Americans really should seek strategies to greatly enhance our possess capacity for strategic, prolonged-expression pondering inside of the context of democratic institutions.
David Skidmore (Ph.D., Stanford College) is a professor of political science at Drake College in Des Moines, Iowa (Usa). He is creator, co-creator or editor of six books together with The Unilateralist Temptation in American International Coverage (Routledge, 2011) and (with Thomas Lairson) Global Political Economic climate (Routledge, 2017). 
The post China’s Reputation for Long-Range Planning Is Wildly Exaggerated appeared first on Defence Online.
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How to protect NFT intellectual property rights explored at Australian Blockchain Week
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Melbourne’s Marvel Stadium played host to the third day of Australian Blockchain Week on Wednesday where the focus was on non-fungible tokens (NFTs) and how intellectual property (IP) rights are beginning to be considered in the industry.
“The IP aspect [of NFTs] has been something very much overlooked for quite some time,” said Michael Bacina, partner at Piper Alderman. “People are rapidly becoming aware that IP is super important around any NFT project.” 
NFTs provide immutable ownership evidence of digital assets through blockchain technology, but a lack of clear guidance on IP for certain projects leaves investors vulnerable to fraud or unsure of the limits of their ownership of the asset.
Lawsuits concerning NFTs are becoming increasingly common, such as one over a “Pepe the Frog” NFT recently filed in the U.S. The litigant bought one Pepe NFT for half a million dollars, believing the other 99 would not be released, only for an additional 46 to be released a few days later, sending the value of his plummeting.
He is now suing Pepe the Frog’s creator and issuer of the token, Matt Furie, for US$500,000 over the incident, in what Bacina described could be a “really weird precedent” if it were the first piece of NFT law out of the U.S. given how prominently Pepe’s buttocks features in the image.
It’s not the first time the little green guy has been the center of an NFT dispute; last year Furie issued a takedown notice to OpenSea over an inauthentic minting of Pepe.
“I couldn’t even count how many takedown letters are politely sent to OpenSea in relation to projects where counterfeits have appeared,” Bacina said. “That’s all we can do at the moment is go in and say, here are the owners, here’s how we prove the ownership.”
Issuing a takedown notice, such as a Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) notice in the U.S., can be costly for the issuer, especially if the other party decides to escalate the issue further.
A recent dispute between owners of V1 CryptoPunks and their creator, Larva Labs, is another high-profile example. 
Panelist Susan Corbisiero, director at Global Business & Talent Attraction Taskforce, works to future-proof the digital game industry and spoke of the increasing need for specific licensing in digital games as the industry evolves.
A third panelist, Alanah Kushnir, art lawyer at Guest Work Agency, is involved in the Australia-based Coalition of Automated Legal Applications (COALA), which is working on a product to standardize licensing for NFTs in Australia.
Aside from working to keep the licensing regime fair and equitable, COALA is also exploring other technical options, such as requiring the licensing regime to be written into the NFT metadata, ensuring it is always available.
Kushnir said she was also examining the terms of service of some NFT marketplaces that forbid users from reselling them elsewhere.
“I think that’s worth being [legally] tested,” she said. “If we look at contract law there are certain contracts that are not enforceable as they are not legally recognized, and those that restrain one of the parties can come into question.”
Both lawyers on the stage agreed there is more that marketplaces and issuers can do to protect consumers and make licenses more available through technology and transparency, but ultimately the old adage of “do your own research” will always have a place in investing.
“Consumers have a role to play in understanding what they are buying,” Bacina said. “As we move to more standardized licenses, it’ll help people have an understanding and a summary of what it is they’re buying so they’ll be able to make a smarter choice.”
This content was originally published here.
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