#and more probably im focusing on such a minute detail

[smbiotics]

It fucks me up to think about that night in 1941 when Aziraphale did his sleight of hand and both he and Crowley couldn't perform their respective miracles, like. The worst that could happen is discorporation, you know, some human panic in the room and whatnot, but more than likely nothing with actual permanent consequences that couldn't be buffed out after the fact

And yet still, still Crowley hesitated so much when he raised that gun and he was TREMBLING, like so freaked out I thought for a second he wouldn't do it or something

And I really don't think he knew it would affect him like that until he was standing in from of him. I think even if they were capable in that moment of performing miracles that it would have affected him to some degree, but imagining watching Aziraphale discorporate by his own hand--I think that really did a number on Crowley

[the-owl-house-takes]

I COULD TALK ABOUT HOW THE SHOW LIKE COMPLETELY REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE GUS EVER!!!.

i can talk about how RECENTLY, in a panel, they were asked “how would they react if Luz died?” and they gave amity, willow, HUNTER more detailed answers than GUS. they said, “gus and everyone else would be sad” or some shit.

i can talk about how they literally never talk about him, OR his v/a! and when they do its bs (above). i hope its clear that they got BOSCHA and KIKIMORAS V/As, aka two characters nobody actually gives a flying shit about (the actors are rlly nice though no shit on them), on an interview, but not gus?? really??

i can talk about how, even with the episodes being FOCUSED ON HIM, he gets overshadowed by other characters. whether purposefully or not (who am i kidding, its always on purpose lmao). like in labyrinth runners, he gets overshadowed by hunter and amity, and in through the looking glass graveyard, they put a FUCKING lumity kiss.

i can talk about how in WAD, when luz was in her dream, all of the characters had outfits that correlated to how luz “came into their life and changed it” or whatever, but gus is wearing is GROM SUIT, why? because the show IGNORES HIM THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME, and he never gets a ‘big moment’ with luz unlike everyone else!

i can talk about how it takes until the LAST MINUTES of THE LAST EPISODE for him to get a new haircut, and the fact they couldnt even animate his hair right in the beginning anyways. not like they cared to!

i can talk about how it feels like he was literally just thrown in there for black representation, and they dont do shit anyway!!!! hes the only ‘main’ black character (excusing darius and ig willow who is blasian but. on average, nobody would really know that abt her anyway)

i can talk about how all the canon ships are poc x white, yet gustholomule, poc x poc, literally gets ignored too. like how did fucking aladarius and huntlow get a chance?? i know gm is really just an opinion (and probably always will be) but they had so much chemistry compared to the other two. cmon, the fuck? everyone else gets a partner but not him? and if hes every confirmed to be aroace, itll just be another stab in the gut. Im aroace myself, and lillith was already ENOUGH bad representation!! if he was aroace, it would literally just be one excuse to why they ignored him and his chance on having a potential partner. not to mention they completely glaze over his short lived crush on bria.

sorry the rant was so long, i could go into more depth but i wont and theres defo a lot i missed but whatever. but i guess my take really is THE CREW FUCKING SUCKS ASS AND GUS DESERVES BETTER!!!!! (also mb if anything is written weird im tired raah)

-

[averagewriter-inthedark]

In The Name Of Love 💌 | Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd Headcanon

Link to my TGM masterlist

Thank y’all so much for 900 followers!!! 🥹♥️ I appreciate all the love and support and can’t wait to share all my works with you lovely people 🥹 much more to come so stay tuned !!

Content Warnings: age gap (since LP was born in 1993 & probably canonically Bob was too, then lets imagine you were born in 1984-1985, also im basing this as though the setting for TGM is 2022 Instead of 2019), suggestive content, profanity, NSFW content below the cut. Also title of the song references a line in “pour some sugar on me” by Def Leppard which will be mentioned in this. Female!reader (she/her)

Bob falling in love with a woman older than him would look like:

Okay so envision you’re like 8 1/2 almost 9 ish years older than Bob & y’all didn’t meet until he was in his mid 20s—like roughly 26 and you were 35. By then he was already a Top Gun graduate and you were a civilian contractor who was very educated in astrophysics and aeronautical engineering, so it wasn’t a surprise when the school would call you back for some insight. You weren’t Bob’s instructor, in fact you didn’t formally meet him until the graduation ceremony where he accidentally bumped into you causing wine to spill on your dress.

“O-oh my gosh—I’m so sorry ma’am. I wasn’t paying attention—,” poor guy was embarrassed as hell and literally rushed to get napkins to help you. Thankfully your outfit was a simple, elegant black colored dress because if was fall so you tried to tell him it was okay and when y’all locked eyes Bob swore the Earth stopped spinning. Heat filled his veins, cheeks going bright red as he muttered a curse word before apologizing again—this time for his language. You were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life and the when he heard your voice, Bob felt like he could listen to it forever. Offering to replace your drink you followed Bob to the bar where you two fell into a conversation. That’s when you found out he was a WSO stationed at Lemoore and he graduated from the Naval Academy 5 years prior.

You pieced it together quickly you were quite a bit older than Bob—which was by almost a decade. At first it worried you when you started to feel attraction for him because most men in their 20s were typical bachelors and playboys who just wanted a quick fuck. They were immature, greedy, thought with the head between their legs and not the one attached to their necks. You dated playboys in college, and then in your 20s focused on building a career than having relationships. Now in your 30s you were hoping to find someone to share life experiences with and settle down. You never thought it would be with someone younger than you, but Bob seemed to be changing that opinion by the minute.

And who could blame you? In the few hours you two spent together at the ceremony & at The Hard Deck for the after party the attraction was so natural. Bob was handsome, intelligent, sweet, attentive, and hung onto every word you said. When you causally mentioned the year you graduated college and had been a Top Gun contractor for nearly a decade Bob didn’t even react. You kept doing that, mentioning details that were enough for him figure out you were much older than him. It was more so to see if he would get turned off and feel more drawn to flirting or conversing with someone closer to his age, but Bob never once gave you any indication that your age bothered him. When he excused himself at one point you thought that was it, that he had finally come to his senses or something, but then he returned with another glass of wine for you and water for him. “Why do you look so surprised?” “I…I thought you.. it’s stupid—I just thought you realized I was too old for you and would be better off with someone closer to your age.” “Forgive me, Y/n, if i’m being too forward but there’s no one else I’d rather be with right now. The age difference between us doesn’t bother me at all and I would love to continue getting to know you better if you let me. But if you don’t feel comfortable, I completely understand.”

In the beginning of your relationship with Bob, there was the feeling it wouldn’t work because of the age difference but within weeks your worries went away. You two were like perfect pieces to a puzzle, fitting so well you believed Bob was the person you’d been looking for. The WSO was very romantic when it came to you. Whatever your love language was, Bob was a natural at giving it whether it be physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service or quality time. A big concern you had with dating a man younger than you was the idea of having to look after them like a mother would, but Bob never made you feel that way. You were his equal and Bob made sure you always felt that way. He was very mature, financially supported on his own with a great career, and could keep up with you in every way possible. Literally 😉

In Bob’s eyes, you were the definition of perfection. You were beautiful inside and out, insanely intelligent, witty, and made him laugh to the point of tears. Like you, Bob also had worries in the beginning. He thought you’d get bored of him, would think he was childish and were better off with someone your own age. But the more dates y’all went on and the weeks turning into months, Bob foresaw a future with you he was determined to have. He grew to love you so much that you being older was never something he thought of. Bob wanted to wake up every morning to you, fall asleep with you in his arms, go on long drives at night when neither of you could sleep, walk the beach, go to concerts of your favorite bands and artists, attend festivals and conventions. Have kids if that was what you wanted and simply grow old together.

Soon the whole age thing became more of a teasing lighthearted joke whenever you referenced something from the 80s/90s or he explained a popular meme you didn’t understand. Even when he proposed there was a joke somewhere in it, but again it was all in the name of love.

Speaking of in the name of love, we all know #Bobfucks and man’s definitely surprised you when y’all’s sex life was kicked into action. He loves when you call the shots and put him into place whenever y’all argue—boy does he get hard as a rock when you call him by his full name and wants you to take your anger/stress out on him—but Bob also knows how to take control….which you absolutely love. Remember you two are equals, but when it comes to the bedroom that’s when y’all can let fantasies play out and share them with each other. you are having to deal with a lot at work and being in charge of dumb people gets you pent up that when you come home you just want Bob to dominate you. And he sure as hell does with pleasure, but will do whatever you want him to. If you want it slow and sensual he’ll make love to you all night long….but if you want it fast and rough then don’t expect to walk the next day.

And Lord have mercy if a song you two enjoy fucking to comes onto the radio when y’all are driving. One time you were coming home from dinner when Def Leppard’s ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me,’ blasted on 80s on 8 and you gave him that look….Bob literally pulled off to the side of the road where he fucked you right in the back seat until the song was over. You more than likely have more experience than him and can teach him new things, but don’t get it twisted, Bob will surprise you. Your favorite thing is when y’all go to banquets and stand on opposite sides, but stare at one another with teasing looks and gestures to see how long the other breaks. One time you were getting hit on by an older officer, who blatantly ignored the ring on your finger, and Bob swooped in after you gave him that look again ….. the officer heard your screams of pleasure when he passed the mens restroom on his way out.

Family and friends were surprised when they learned about y’all’s age gap. Everyone thought you guys were the same age and although they were shocked at first they long forgot about it and never once made comments that made you two feel insecure. Your family loved Bob and thought he was perfect for you. They were so happy when y’all got married and the same was for his family. They adored you and saw how their son was smitten with you that they always forgot you were older than him by some years. Bob did sometimes get playfully teased by his friends because they were like, “Dating an older woman, hot.” (If you got that reference pls let me know lmao.)

Like when you both got called back to Top Gun for the uranium mission where Bob was a candidate and you were the civilian contractor asked to run the calculations and tests to make sure everything was in order. At the Hard Deck the night you got in, Bob had arrived early because you had a meeting with Cyclone, Warlock, and Maverick, which meant he got to meet the team before you. A lot of the team knew you from their time as students at Top Gun including Rooster, Phoenix, Payback, Hangman, and Coyote. You can bet they were all surprised to find out you and Bob were married, but a whole different reaction came the next day when Phoenix saw your class ring said the same college she attended and asked what year you graduated. The second you said 2006 some jaws dropped, snapping their glance to Bob with Hangman whistling as he smirked, “Damn, Baby on Board. It didn’t pass me to think you were into them older women. I’m a little jealous you managed to cuff the hottest contractor at North Island.” You simply rolled your eyes, made a witty comeback that had the others go ‘oooh,’ which in turn had Bob blush—not to mention you whispered something dirty in his ear to boost his confidence and remind him he was the only man for you.

You know, you thought when you entered your 30s single that it was going to be like that for the rest of your life if you didn’t find someone close in age or older who wanted the same things as you did. But that all changed when you met the sweet, adorable and lovable blue eyed man that was Robert Floyd. He changed your outlook on a lot of things, but most importantly that you anything is possible in the name of love.

………………

Tag list: @avaleineandafryingpan , @caitsymichelle13 , @poppyalice2001 , @cutelittlepotatofry

[voidsumbrella]

im almost exclusively focusing on haven's first life because that's the plot of the section im writing right now, but that does mean im neglecting the reincarnation aspect of his character...

so the rules there are that he always gets his memories back by the time he's 25, the age he met witchwraith, but they can start showing up earlier if they're tripped off by something or if he otherwise wouldn't survive without an adult skillset. he always remembers his first life clearly, and the rest about on pace with the passage of time (so like, he's got most of his immediate last life, the one before that's a bit foggier, etc).

anyway this means he has distinct memories of having multiple siblings who had a large impact on his life and dead parents, and is consistently thrown for a loop when this isn't the case.

his second life he's an only child with fully unknown parents, raised by one woman who didn't really have any interest in children. he got his memories back early bc otherwise it would have Gone Very Badly, and focuses on getting back to witchwraith and not on how incredibly wrong it feels to be isolated like this.

in his third go around he has an older sister and a younger brother + was raised by his biological parents in a stable household. he's very clingy towards all of them, and is a bit anxious about them not liking his partners due to the whole "visibly not human" thing. (it goes fine)

his fourth body isn't actually human and wasn't raised in a culture that had any analogues there and he feels weird about it the entire time. it isn't bad or anything, he's fine, but he'll occasionally get hit with "i don't know what a mom is but i miss her. i also don't know what a 'her' is. help."

his fifth go around he's an only child again (still weird, still has moments of intense "wait fuck i haven't seen my little brother all day is he okay- oh. wait." even before he gets his memories back fully), and his parents didn't actually want children and should have gotten divorced when he was like 3. he spends a lot of time being intensely frustrated and hurt that the three of them don't get along and that there's nothing he can do to fix that.

his sixth life he's a clone who shouldn't have survived in the first place, and considering the conditions of the lab he's in it's probably for the best he doesn't have any family. he'll be upset about that later, but he has more pressing concerns at the minute.

those are all of the ones i have fully drafted out- for kindness' sake, i think he should have some with a lot of siblings and parents that don't suck, through it winds up being a weird blend of feeling like this is how it should be, and knowing that the details here are all wrong, because they're never quite the same people he expects them to be.

[a-libra-writes]

Quick question, but where would you suggest to start researching? I’ve never really done it before, but I want to, but I’m worried I wouldn’t get a reliable resource and only realize it later. Any suggestions?

So Im gonna guess this is gonna refer to historical events and such (bc I mentioned that), BUT I think it can be applied to most research? This is how I go about it!

First, wikipedia article! Obviously they have the sources that you can dig through, but I use it to skim over the general idea (like if it's a war or a type of fashion), and make notes on what I want to focus on. Earlier I was researching how the Ottoman Empire was split up by France and Britain after WWI, and the interesting/turbulent decades of Syria as an independent state following the fall - that's A LOT of complicated shit to go through. So, from there I make a list of what's most interesting to me.

(This may be tough depending on how broad your subject is! "American Civil War" is really broad so maybe pick a very specific aspect that's interesting you the most. The battles? How a specific part of the US was affected? The history of black Northern soldiers vs Southern soldiers? etc etc)

Narrow it down - from "History of the Ottoman Empire", focus on "Post-WW1 Fall of Ottoman Empire and Creation of Turkey" and then what events, documents and people were important to that? Pick like two from each category. More examples - I love queer history, but maybe I want to focus on Queer terminology from 1920-1960. Narrow it down further - "Queer Slang from the 1920s", "History of Queer Clubs In the 1920s", "History of Queer Clubs in Harlem in the 1920s", "and so forth.

I google and use credited websites; it's great when you find the website of a museum that specializes in that or a special article put out. Sometimes what I need is so specific that I'm digging through any link I can find. Again, that gives me more details, but like you said, is it reliable? And even if these articles or websites can get detailed, it may not be exactly what you want.

So! Depending on how deep you wanna get. I love love love non-fiction and if I'm really passionate about the subject, I look into non-fiction books that audible or my library might have. Audiobooks work best for me personally. Auto-biographies are fantastic as well. And if the book has several revised editions, you can be sure it's regularly updated and accurate (usually), as well as check for reviews on the accuracy of the book and author.

Also, documentaries! I went on a kick about the rise of nursing as a proper profession in France from 1900-1950 - very specific! - and Netflix actually had a French-made documentary with english subtitles about it. So interesting! You can find documentaries online and on Youtube. Sometimes Youtube has really interesting videos, and if you're lucky you can get a deep-dive on your chosen subject... but most of the time it's just a 10~20 minute overview video (avoid the videos that are like, "History of This Complex Historical Event or History of X Country in 1-3 Minutes", just. Trash.) Sometimes I get a video that a museum made; they aren't the best production quality but you can tell they're very passionate.

Oh! And ofc Im focusing on historical things, but I also looove to research fashion for specific decades in the US. That's fun because there's quite a few websites where you can get lots of photos of what every day people wore, what was high fashion, esp if it's after the 1900s! Vintage Dancer is one of my favorite websites for the sheer detail of 1920s fashion, with descriptions and photographs.

By this point you probably have a lot of notes and things to cross-reference! So if you get a feeling that something may not be correct or biased, ideally you'll have multiple sources (docs, videos, books) etc to pull from. Again when I'm very serious about a subject I really prefer non-fiction books because they're (supposed to be) rigorously researched and the authors typically spent years on them. I think Youtube and Wikipedia is like your start, documentaries and specific websites/blogs are the middle, and tons of non-fiction or going out to do your own research (look for local museums, ask librarians, etc) is getting deeeeep in that rabbit hole! It's all so interesting and very very fun and just. Gah. I love how terrible and fascinating history is.

[lesbiantrish]

valgrace prompt for : @im-always-lost-in-a-book

prompt: jason comforting leo after a nightmare

leo was running. he couldn’t stop, not now. he had to get away, that’s all he knew.

as he kept running, suddenly he appeared in a completely quiet building.

he looked around, having the feeling he had been here before.

“leo!” he froze.

he knew that voice. it was his mama’s.

tears filled in his eyes. “mama!! i’m coming! where are you?!”

“leo!” he heard his mama call again.

“i’m here! where are you mama!?” he searched for the sound of her voice.

he rounded the corner and suddenly he was watching a building burn.

no. no no no. he was already too late.

he fell to the hard ground, and started to cry. the building went up in flames.

suddenly someone jumped out of the fire. leo’s vision focused and he realized it was jason. jason was breathing heavily.

“leo” he managed.

“jase?” leo was utterly confused.

this wasn’t right. this wasn’t how it happened. why was jason grace here? jason grace, of all people.

suddenly jason reached out for leo, and leo inhaled harshly.

he felt jason’s lips press against his. he let out a muffled noise, and melted into the kiss. they moved together, becoming one.

jason let go to breathe, and leo had to stop himself from whining in protest. why did jason have to let go?

jason looked into his eyes.

“i’m sorry.” jason mumbled.

“what?” leo was so very confused now. “sorry? what do u mean? sorry for what??”

jason cupped leo’s cheek with his palm and tears fell down the boy’s face. leo went to wipe them away, but his hand went through jason’s face. went through his face, as if he was a ghost.

“what” leo whispered.

then it hit him. “you’re not really here, are you”.

jason smiled, and his entire body disappeared, as if he was being summoned away, all at once.

leo woke up in a sweat.

“leo” he heard someone say his name.

it took his brain and eyes both a minute to adjust. when he was more awake, he realized jason was sitting on his bed.

jason had a worried expression on his face.

leo was still lost in his dream, he couldn’t keep his eyes away from the boy’s lips.

jason must have realized what leo was looking at, because he deeply gulped. leo swore to the gods that this is how he was going to die.

leo shook his head. “what’s up?”

“you were screaming” jason told him.

“oh” leo’s face reddened.

leo’d hand was resting on top of his blanket. jason put his own on top of it. he gave leo a sympathetic smile.

“are you okay?” jason was being genuine, leo knew that.

“just a bad dream” leo prayed that jason wouldn’t ask more.

thank olympus jason took the hint. he simply nodded and left it at that.

leo couldn’t help but look at jason differently now. he let himself study jason. a thousand details he had noticed a thousand times before, but now it was like the final puzzle piece clicking into place.

jason tilted his head, and smiled. “do you want a hug?”

“huh?” it took a minute for leo to realize he was talking about his dream. “oh uh-“

leo didn’t need a hug but he did want to feel jason’s touch.feel the softness of his skin that he touched so many times before. but now he felt himself craving it carnally.

“sure” he found himself saying.

jason wrapped his arms around leo, and leo couldn’t help but close his eyes. leo felt like he was a brand new person, revived entirely. he heard himself let out a soft hum in the back of his throat, happening completely involuntarily.

jason let go and looked at him in the eyes. he was holding onto leo’s biceps and leo wanted to punch this guy in the face. he was probably gonna do something stupid like let jason on fire.

jason’s mouth fell open and leo swore to every god and goddess that ever existed that he was going to die right then.

leo cleared his throat. “uh thanks man. i’m okay now!”

jason nodded awkwardly. leo cursed himself for making him feel that way.

“right, yeah no problem. any time leo.”

leo was deceased. he was genuinely dead, wasn’t he? that was the only explanation for this thing he was feeling, right?

i mean, what else could it be? love? leo shook off the thought. no. he didn’t love jason grace like that. he couldn’t. it would never have any positive outcome. ever.

“come on sparky” leo did his best to ignore the way he wanted so desperately to reach out and kiss- he stopped himself before he could even finish thinking that sentence.

he helped jason up and he walked jason back to his cabin. when they got there there was this awkwardness in the air that leo definitely was not a fan of.

he nodded awkwardly and headed back to his cabin.

leo had no idea but jason watched him until he disappeared out of his sight. what a funny thing, fate can be.

what happens if you ignore fate though? will you ever truly be alive? be able to laugh and smile in a genuine manner? what would happen if leo valdez and jason grace never touched? what would happen to their fate?

[sithisreadingcorner]

Hi again! I hope life's treating you well. I would like to request a free August reading from you if possible. The last one really helped me a lot. My initials are A.P/Agnes 🦜 and i was born on 26.08.96. Im in a pretty tough spot in life right now. There's a lot of crappy things happening and i would like to ask for some life guidance from my spirit guides. Or just a general reading is fine too. Thank you in advance and have a beautiful day! 🍀

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time! I really hope this reading will give you something to work with. Let's see what your spirit guides have to say. (I'm also noticing that your birthday was just very recently, happy birthday! I will make this as detailed as I can!)

knight of swords. queen of wands (indulgent) the star (dream). three of swords

The things that have been happening to you have broken you down terribly, which I'm really sad to see but not surprised about. But other than that, they have also made you kind of... stagnant. I think you are in a position where you just kind of stand by while the things are happening to you. I'm absolutely sure none of the bad things that happened to you were your fault or did you even have a hand in them, so it wasn't like you could have done anything about those particular situations. But from the cards that I'm seeing here, your guides are trying to draw your attention from the fact that in other ways you have a TON of agency and you've become so apathetic that you are willingly giving it up. 😔

I want you to think of this differently. What has happened to you, is unfair, and it hurts. And that will maybe keep hurting, from some time coming. This is okay, and valid. But laying down and staying in that emotion, however valid it may be, is not good for you right now. There are a lot of things that you can't control in your life, but there are also some things that you CAN and the more you keep focusing on those, the easier the feeling will become.

There is something about the knight of swords that the booklet describes as the "flash of opportunity". There are tiny opportunities whooshing past you on a daily, or at the very least weekly, basis, but they are extremely small and brief and therefore hard to see their significance. So you let them pass by, because you are not looking, and this is really disheartening for your guides to see. Let me just say an example off the top of my head, just to illustrate it. You lose your job, and struggle to find another. You are interviewed for a position that you perceive as your dream job, but you don't get it. Then, it's easy to lose yourself in misery and do nothing. But what you are not seeing behind the scenes, is that there is a job ad somewhere online at this very moment that would happily hire you on the spot if you only applied. So, what you do, is wallow in your misery, A LITTLE BIT. And then go out and send another application. 💗

I also pulled a fortune cookie in the meantime and it says: "You should think of yourself every once in a while." Which reminds me of another very important point that I almost forgot to add. I think you need something new in your life that you create for yourself as a happy space. I don't know what it is, and it probably doesn't matter actually. Like starting a new sport, retrying a craft that you enjoyed in your childhood... I think this can be anything as long as it gives you a feeling of accomplishment. If you only have 10 minutes a day to spend on it, or just one hour a week, doesn't matter, but you must do it anyway. The most important thing is that this is a YOU party where no one else is invited. It doesn't need to accomplish anything special other than giving you an outlet and making you feel like you have the power to change things. You will see, that as your thinking changes, the way you view yourself and the world will change, and then your actions, and with that your situation will change as well.

Tbh this feels like a self-contained reading but I wanted to see if your guides have some kind of more concrete advice for you what to do next, but I wanted to do that from a different deck.

LXVII. THE STONE

"[...] A single stone may see thousands of generations come and go; therefore it contains an ancient and eternal presence. The stone is best to anchor our wild side, so no matter how far we roam, we can always find our way back. [...]"

LXII. THE SWORD

"To use the sword is to decide. [...] This weapon requires a clear and decisive mind and a willingness to act. [...] Decisions shape our life, and the sword is an infamous shaper of destiny."

LII. THE TEAR

"Tears are droplets of letting go. Once they begin to fall, we allow the swelling tide of emotion to run its elemental course. [...]"

You know, I think this is almost the same thing that I was saying earlier, but there is also a difference here. What is coming through, is a message of tough love. And I don't mean that your guides are mad at you or anything, rather: it's time for an era where you give that tough love to yourself. If you stop attaching yourself to your pain and tying yourself down with/to it, and instead confront it hands on, you are not making in any less valid - in fact you are honoring it. You cannot stay here forever. And if you do nothing new, nothing will change. It's time for you to really begin to heal, and start something new. 🥰

I hope this will help Agnes! And please let me know what you think of the reading! 💗 I'm recording the accuracy of my readings for a project, so for an honest review I would be super grateful 🙏

august readings (3 of 5)

tips? 💗

[brandnewhuman]

i’m not sure if your matchups are open but feel free to delete or ignore if they’re not!

i use they/he pronouns (genderfluid, but more masc leaning rn), im 5 ft tall (but honestly it’s right between 4’11 and 5 ft), and i’m pretty thin to say the least (like a slightly squished rectangle). i’m also canto-viet (raised vietnamese, speaks both cantonese and vietnamese) and i try my best to be as immersed in my cultures as much as i can. i also have short black hair, reaching the bottom of my ear!

i love to read, draw, sing, write, anything creative i’ll enjoy (but if my partner is interested in smth i’ll immediately hop ship and start hyperfixating with them) and id be very much happy to present my partner with several drawings dedicated just for them. i also love video games, especially dating sims and rhythm games!! type wise, i don’t look at appearances, when it comes to partners! i like intelligent people, people i can hold a conversation with and ramble on about the topic we’re discussing, other than that i don’t have much else!

your works are so nice……. pls keep it up muah muah

I paired you up with...

♡ Brahms Heelshire ♡

I was this close 🤏🏻 to give you corey but then I thought that since he's fairly new and (un)fairly disliked I would play it safe with our old good stinky wall man

I don't know but I feel like you could match brahms unhinged energy. I have this feeling he would find very stimulating and nice to be around you

Look, I don't care if people say it's not true but BRAHMS IS A MAN OF CULTURE. LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN WHERE HE LIVES? HIS PARENTS? THIS MAN DIDN'T HAD THE FUCKING CHOICE DO BE STUPID AND UNCULTURED

He's like really smart and really enjoys learning about new stuff so please for the love of God teach him Cantonese and Vietnamese PLEASE, IT WOULD MAKE HIM SO HAPPY TO LEARN SOMETHING THAT CAN BRING HIM CLOSER TO YOU. he wants to know everything about your culture the minute you say its something important for you. Plus he has no way to learn about the world other than reading about places on his books so having someone who can actually give him more detailed information it's really appreciated.

Bro loves music so much and would love to have little dates where both of you can listen to new music together so he can recommend you stuff and you can make him listen to new artists too. Your hobbies in general align very well with what brahms likes and can do, and they're perfect for date activities. He has a very hard time interacting with people without involving something to bond together, he feels like if he can show you he is good at doing stuff and he's not just a weirdo living inside the walls then maybe you will have it easier to accept him. He is always focusing around the idea that to be loved you need to earn it somehow so expect a lot of hyperfixation from his part on whatever you like so you can see him as someone likeable

In general just spending time with you It's enough to make him happy. HE WOULD CRY IF YOU DRAW HIM OR DOODLE HIM SOMEHOW. LIKE HE WOULD HAVE SUCH A CONFIDENCE BOOST BC IF HIS AWESOME S/O DRAWS HIM THEN MAYBE HE'S NOT THAT BAD. he will put all of your drawings around the house, at the cost of having to take down old paintings

I can imagine both of you playing dating games. He would be obsess with tbh, like the whole idea of having virtual lovers to interact with and talk its honestly the fucking best. Keep in mind he's not used to this stuff, you'll have to explain him almost everything but he learns fast dw. HE WOULD PROBABLY LOVE THE NEW DATING SLASHER GAME, HE WOULD DEFEND JASON AND BUBBA WITH HIS WHOLE HEART. ngl bro could probably be a slasher fucker

If you like smart guys and nice convos he's literally the man for you. He is not stupid AND I HATE HATE HATE THE IDEA OF HIM NOT LIKING LEARNING OR STUDYING. LIKE HAVE WE NOT SEE THE SAME MOVIE? HOW CAN YOU IGNORE THOSE DARK ACADEMIA BIG BRAIN ENERGY VIBES GOING ON? He loves learning and loves to talk about everything and anything he learns. He hates how sometimes his parents always treated him as if he was stupid, never talking with him unless it was to treat him like a fucking kid so please do have conversations with him, discuss stuff, debate even. He is very capable and very good at maintaining entertaining conversations plus it would help him feel more normal

Anyhow I hope you liked it bro IF I MISSED SOMETHING LET ME KNOW

This matchup made me think about this song:

Bad habit by Steve lacy

[cantuscorvi]

"I'm always surprised by your appearance when you make it home to relax. Im not sure why. It's not as if you'd remain formal all day." Sullivan observed, quite tickled as he gazed upon Raum from the other side of the bed. The other man had hints of exhaustion upon his face, yet his eyes remained focused on his reading. " Um, did you have a busy day at work? You look tired..." Obviously, Sullivan's attempt at a distraction hadn't worked. It made his lips pull into a gentle frown as his sleepy body raised itself, crawling closer to Raum before laying back down. He caught the other hand when it raised to turn the page, interlacing fingers timidly. Baby blues allowed for eye contact when there was a question of what he was doing. "Lay down with me?"

@tximidity

A vaguely interested hum is what Sullivan received in response to his musings. Indeed, Raum had his nose buried in a book for one of the rare occasions he had some time before he slept. He didn’t like to keep devices in the bed (as if his sleep wasn’t already sparse enough to begin with) so it was one of the few winding down activities he would allow himself to indulge in while under the cover.

Again, a soft observation was levelled his way, and it made his brows furrow a little, momentarily distracted from the words on the page. Did he obviously look that tired? Was it visible to everyone? Or was Sullivan simply becoming more perceptive of him? Nothing said in response once more, Raum dismissed his thoughts, realising he was at the end of his page and had been for a while, staring blankly at the words with slowly drooping eyelids.

He huffed, a light exhale through the nose before going to flip the page. Only then his hand was gently caught in Sullivan’s grasp, brought to a standstill.

“Hm? What’s the matter?” Raum asked, his eyes finally meeting with Sullivan’s. The conversation belatedly caught up with his mind — realising he’d been failing to reply to the younger man for a few minutes now — practically ignoring him, all things considered. Although it hadn’t been his intention.

He glanced down at what Sullivan was doing, watching their fingers interlace with something like curiosity. It was a strangely soft and intimate gesture he wasn’t very used to. There were lots of little gestures that Sullivan often did, things that Raum didn’t really even consider until they happened. Any affectionate overture like that he would usually associate with some kind of manipulation tactic from someone else — but he knew that wasn’t a threat from Sullivan.

Well. He didn’t quite dislike it, either.

Giving up, Raum closed the book with a soft snap and set it aside. He turned onto his side to face Sullivan, propping his head up on his free hand. His eyes roamed Sullivan’s face briefly, finding his features so soft and sleepy. Momentarily, Raum had the urge to smother his innocent face with a pillow — it would probably be easy, the image played in his mind in realistic detail. Sometimes it was hard to believe they could coexist in the same space without something terrible eventually happening.

“Is it so surprising?” He replied, without any of those thoughts showing on his face, referring to the earlier topic instead. One side of his lips curled up. “I’m human, too. Shocking secret, I know.”

There was a quick roll of Raum’s eyes before he lifted their joined hands to cover Sully’s mouth with the back of his own palm. It was a half-hearted gesture before Raum shuffled close enough to roll over and lay his bodyweight on top of him with a sigh.

“I don't want to talk about work. Of all things, you wanted distract me with...” He muttered testily against the base of Sullivan's throat, moving to nip at the soft flesh of Sullivan’s chest. “No. At least tell me something interesting,” he was interrupted by his own yawn, a silent thing he muffled into the younger man's collarbones.

“You know my 'secret' now. Your turn. Tell me something I don't know. About you.”

[lovesquarebrainrot]

"Would you mind elaborate a bit more on Chloe being "autistic" coded? I've lived with a sibling in the spectrum for 20 years, volunteer in different places working with people in the spectrum. Yet I failed to see the idea you're presenting but I find interesting. I hope I don't come of as rude, you don't have to do it if you don't want to I was just curious. Also sorry for my english, its not my first language and Im still learning"

@anchor-for-my-soul

Hope I'm @'d you right. Not answering in replies cause this is a sideblog.

As for why I describe her as 'autistic-coded', let me explain:

'Coded' is probably the wrong word in this situation, but it's the closest one I have. Normally 'coding' refers to something intentional, and usually results in someone who is archetypal in some way.

With Chloe, though, it's a bit more indirect. She isn't meant to be an autistic person. She's meant to be an amalgamation of unpleasant personality traits - many of which are strikingly similar to symptoms of autism. Of course, autism is a spectrum, not all of these traits are possessed by all autistic people, etc. etc.

The things that I've noticed about her, off the top of my head:

The show lampoons her for being overly fixated on things like her hair, or her clothing, even in stressful situations. This is meant to represent how she's frivolous, but 'focusing on minute details of seemingly irrelevant things' is something a lot of people find themselves upset with when dealing with autistic people. It's just blown up to a comical degree.

Chloe has a lot of trouble reading people's emotions. In a lot of her scenes where she is ambivalent to the ways she's hurting people, it's often framed not as true ambivalence but as a kind of ignorance. She isn't even aware she's making people upset. Issues reading and understanding the emotions of others is another trait which is both associated with autism and that a lot of people consider an "annoying personality trait."

Of course, this isn't extensive, it's just off the top of my head.

This isn't to say Chloe IS autistic. However, the ways she's framed as 'annoying' is rooted in a certain degree of anti-autistic ableism. I'm autistic myself, and I've dealt with having these traits as part of me and seeing myself as flawed for them.

This is the general reason why I described Chloe in terms of autism. Obviously she's not intended to be autistic, but she is clearly 'neurodivergent' in the sense that she was intentionally written to have a brain which works 'differently' from other people. It's just in her case, when the writers tried to write something 'different' it's because they were trying to write something 'worse'.

That IS where most of my '''expertise''' on this comes from. I've not studied this stuff extensively, and my experience as one person on the spectrum hardly qualifies me to talk about the issue in broad terms.

[rigelmejo]

Some updates 9/4/2024:

I am through 2723 sentences in glossika japanese, which is still A1 (in the app). In reality I think the A1-B2 categories glossika is using must not match the actual kind of level's vocab or grammar. I predict A2 will go to arond the 5000 sentences mark, and the last 1000-2000 sentences in the glossika japanese collection will be randomly categorized B level. Supposedly glossika japanese teaches 5000 unique words, I hope that's true by the end. So far the A1 sentences Ive gone through (2700s lol) have a lot of words just used multiple ways or in multiple conjugations, and if iku counts as like 10+ words just for each conjugation... that could mean significantly less unique words are actually taught. If glossika japanese doesnt at least teach over 3000 unique words (and all verbs etc counted as 1 word each even if various forms are in sentences), then its gonna be beyond a disappointment. Its fairly doable to find free japanese learning resources that teach around 2000-3000 words. The reason Im slogging through glossika is because it gives the promise of potentially MORE WORDS TO LEARN than the free stuff i could find. Like... japaneseaudiolessons.com, a free site with great lessons, teaches at least 2000 words (i calculated it once ;-; if needed ill go figure it out again) if the grammar notes are included. So if glossika turns out barely more than that, ill be pretty fucking beyond annoyed.

In other news, japanese progress? Ahahahhaa

Well really. I've mostly just been focusing on writing stuff lately, so I haven't studied much. But I've noticed some things in passing I find kind of fun?

I can now translate (roughly) 70% of the lyrics of the Yakuza games karaoke songs in passing as a friend plays them. I can also translate (roughly) about 50% of what people are saying in-game. I assume this means if I tried to play Ishin in japanese again, this time I might feel less drained than the first time I tried. (The first time I tried, I understood enough to play the game and roughly guess what was going on, but it took a ton of focus and I felt burned out quick).

Chinese progress? Im in a weird holding pattern where I just dont have time in my schedule to dedicate enough to it to make good progress for a while. I definitely refreshed my memory over the summer, and I can listen to audiobooks now! Which is a huge personal goal I had. But the comprehension of audiobook plots goes between "can follow almost all details" to "roughly can guess where the scene is and actions taken and understood some key dialogue details". Even if I relisten to the same chapter of an audiobook just on different weeks. My comprehension of audio details varies WILDLY right now. Im not sure if its because my vocab recognition is just rusty until used, then rusty again quickly after a break (aka i recall meaning slower than the audio plays). Or if its because listening is just hard. Since i am comprehending something when i listen, ive just chosen to keep listening to audiobooks. I do think a good round of REVIEWING vocabulary (like relistening to chinese spoonfed anki audio files) would help. Or just listening to an audiobook for HOURS a day would probably help. But again, im focusing on writing lately so i just havent carved out dedicated time for chinese listening that id like to be doing eventually.

Reading chinese goes a bit differently. I am rusty with reading too, but it comes back within a few dozen minutes. My recognition of hanzi is sort of like "rusty when not recalled" but once im reading for a few minutes it goes back to an easy to flip to part of my brain and stuff i already know. When trying to read japanese in any context, my brain still jumps right to hanzi chinese pronunciations before i can recall any japanese words. When i see a chinese webpage or subtitles im lost for a little while, then things click and its about as easy as it was last time i was reading a lot. I seem to remember how to read chinese fairly well, and rustiness wears off and goes back to Quick Reading comprehension (which quick for me is still like 150 characters per minute but u get the idea) fairly quickly. Its even a little better than my french reading skill... which does degrade a little over time, and i compensate with cognates usually until ive read for a few hours and the french reading skill returns. Whereas my chinese reading skill seems to come back within an hour usually of trying to read.

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

thanks so much for the tag @i-know-how-my-story-ends

1.) How many works do you have on AO3? 19 [damn thats a lot] with seven made anon

2.) What is your AO3 wordcount? 38,298- more than i was expecting

3.) What fandoms do you write for? atm, JJBA & WOTR

4.) What are your top 5 fics by kudos? the house rotting series, followed by business meetings [fun fact this is the first written appearance of proto muro/celia] and sun misses his moon [divorce era midpollo]

5.) Do you respond to comments? Yes! sometimes late but i always try

6.) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i think when i was a little girl, a gift fic, because its a trans masc reading of a very hyper-feminine character and about how they chose to be hyper-feminine despite it feeling so wrong.

7.) What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i think everlasting kiss, with the sweet moment between all of muro and co is my best fic

8.) Do you get hate on fics? Nope! i guess im just not big enough

9.) Do you write smut? If so, what kind? also nope. the closet was probably the Celia/Elena kiss in born to run and that is farrr from smut in several ways

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest crossover you've ever written? i havent, but im thinking of doing a JJBA and WOTR crossover with Cecio and Muro so that would be pretty wild

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that im aware of- i dont read dc anymore so i dont know if any of my personal ideas behind the house is rotting series were used, but i wouldnt particularly care for that- i would be annoyed if someone copied my work, or obviously copied an oc

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope! that would be so cool though

13.) Have you ever co-written a fic before? nope.

14.) What's your all-time favorite ship? UHH. thats hard, ive never been a massive shipper or good at comparing them.

15.) What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? well the house is rotting has been officially abandoned so not that... probably a series of interesting events by mura- the Cecio one is likely to get some updates, but im not sure if i will ever do more of that spesific fic for Mura

16.) What are your writing strengths? complex, layered, and realistic relationships between characters, as well as character studies and focused oneshot fics

17.) What are your writing weaknesses? writing long fics, describing locations, and i write way to many details for how a character moves and interacts with things, writing canon characters [thats more just hard and stressful]

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics? i think it can be done well, but personally i stop at a word or phrase when i dont know the language culturally [implications, slang, ect]

19.) First fandom you wrote for? Wildstorm! the authority spesifically<3

20.) Favorite fic you've written? oughh how do i chose... born to run but dont ask me again in a minute lol

take this as a tag if you want to do this!

[rigels-nigels]

"this loki is 2012 loki-" oh yeah?? Where???

He is *so* ooc to his 2012 character and like also, ??? He was pretty weak from everything that happened last i checked? Like it's only been a few days since he first appeared on earth and he was still looking p shitty by the end of avengers, but he was doing perfectly fine by the start of the show???

And also what abt thanos?? The other?? Like we could and should have gone into that imo, considering it was literally right after avengers, and also whatever happened in the void, and brought up anything regarding his feelings of being a frost giant

[yawnjunn]

lego flowers - yeonjun

☆ lol i had motivation to do this one so yes i did this one, im currently writing beomgyu's fic but anyways. this fic probably have some bad grammars idk (ik i said this too much but yeah)

╰┈➤ warnings: FLUFF FLUFF!!

╰┈➤ yeonjun x gn! reader btw :)

you were one to get bored easily especially when yeonjun is busy building legos.

this time you were really really bored, yeonjun is out to buy some ice cream just because you were craving for it

youre craving for ice cream? he'll get you some. craving for cakes? he'll buy one for you. craving for chocolates? he'll buy lots and lots of them for you

literally, this man will buy you everything and knows every single details about you

hes head over heels for you and only for you

"Y/N !!! IM HOME WHERE ARE YOU LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT"

you quickly ran over to the door to greet your boyfriend (but actually you just wanted your ice cream)

"I didnt hear you unlocking the doors but anyways welcome home, wheres my ice cream?" you eagerly asked

judging by him holding 2 bags, one is a lego bag and the other is just a normal plastic bag,

he definitely bought more than an ice cream..

"a quick kiss and i'll give it to you"

you, ofc, gave him a peck on his lips (lets be honest who wouldnt want to kiss his lip?)

"cookies and cream ice cream just for my baby" he reached the ice cream that was in the plastic bag, handing it over to you

"and whats that?" you asked, pointing the lego bag

"legos of course" he replied to you in a happy tone

you groaned knowing your boyfriend would be focusing on the legos and ignoring you for another hour

"buuuut i have a surprise for you too"

oh? a surprise?

"i figured you might like it" he reaches inside the lego bag, handing you a lego box with lego flowers on the front cover

"wait...are we gonna build legos together??"

he nodded with adoration in his eyes

"I always notice you getting bored whenever im building legos, i dont want my baby to be bored, would i?" he said, pinching your cheek in cuteness

"that hurts you know" you gently rubbed your cheek with an annoyed face

"it hurts? aww im sorry baby" he then attacked you with kisses all over your face

you see, the thing about yeonjun is that he may look cold outside but hes very affectionate and loving to the people he loves (especially you wink wink)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"babe. feed me ice cream please. I need energy." he asked with his eyes still focusing on his legos, building it carefully

you grab a spoonful of your ice cream and feed him like hes your little kid (well tbh he IS a little kid himself)

you were also building your lego flowers on the floor while he builds his own legos on the coffee table just bcs he needed more space for his legos cause its usually big

it turned out to be fun actually, with you talking non sense while building and yeonjun just agreeing to whatever you said

your conversations with him went a little bit like this:

"lego flowers would match our bedroom"

"yea i know"

"this color is pretty"

"mhm"

"the last dinosaur to ever exist mustve been lonely knowing all his friends went extinct"

"yeah so lonely. poor dinosaur"

not that you mind him ignoring you, you were used to it anyways

it was all fine until one of your lego pieces went missing

you went "oh no.."

and yeonjun's first instinct is to look at you after you said that

"why? did something happened?" he asked full of concern

(damn, yj went protective so quickly 😩)

"one of the lego pieces is missing"

he lets out a dissappointed sigh knowing you and him will have to search for it

"no no its okay, i can find it on my own, you can go back to your legos" you kindly offered yourself to find it before he could say anything

BUT

hes like "no, we're finding it together"

after what felt like hours searching it (honestly it took 10 minutes), you finally found that final piece to complete your lego flowers

"and...im finished" as you put the final piece on your creation

you and yeonjun clapped softly with a small 'yayy' dw, its a cute habit you two developed while dating

"you look so proud" yeonjun pouted at you, taking out his phone to take photos of you

"smile for me baby, hold the flowers straight"

yeonjun really do be acting like those moms who forced you to pose as they take photos 🥲

"thanks for the new lockscreen" he said as he kissed your forehead as a thank you

"are you gonna be putting my photos as your lockscreen everytime you captured one?"

"yes and?"

you rolled your eyes jokingly at him

youre lucky to have such a loving and a caring boyfriend who babies you most of the time even tho you didnt ask for it

[chocodollxren]

Hii, can i request a drabble/headcannon(it's up to you if it's fine) with Savanaclaw and octavinelle. The reader is stressed out from school stuff and they don't know what to do. When the boys ask them about it they break down and tell them what's stressing them out. Thank you. Im sorry if i broke some rules. I enjoy reading your works.

<33 of course! here you go, your funmatsucha gyokuro tea blend! <33 hope you’re doing okay with school! and i’m happy you enjoy my works! you didn’t break any rules. for some reason i read this as stressed from exams. ill do headcanons since they’re individual, meanwhile drabble is all together, as in every character at once, so i thought you’d prefer individual? i’m sorry if you didn’t want that!

𓄹 ❥𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘖𝘶𝘵❦ 𝘚𝘢𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘸 + 𝘖𝘤𝘵𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦 ,,

-> teahouse ,, menu ! order up ” guestlist ! ꒱·˚ ,, #O5.21.22🍵 ˖˚˳⊹ 'ּ໋݊◵

summary: with all the stress from upcoming exams, trying to learn the course for some of the best wizards, and the pressure of you being a combined student with Grim is getting to you. purely exhausted and possibly at wits end, you find him there to support you. tws stress, breakdown, swearing, gn!reader.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ LEONA KINGSCHOLAR. ❞

heading off to the botanical garden, you begun to quickly observe the plants, in hopes you could tell the differences in person rather than just a textbook with terrible rendering in black and white. “is this it?” you muttered as you begun checking your notes and flash cards to the types of plants they were. Crewel’s exam was coming up and knowing him, he definitely wouldn’t make the course exam easy. you had to make sure every single detail in your notes were right. you were so focused you failed to realize eyes staring into your back.

leona kingscholar, the prideful dorm leader of Savanaclaw and the student who was most likely to stay at this school longer than the teachers would. noticing your presence, he watched slowly from his napping spot. you were frantically writing notes and reciting lines from your flash cards so quickly he wondered if you were going to pass out from a lack of breathing in. it took him a minute to remember, but exams were coming up, not that he was going to study or go to classes during the exam. you were probably here for Crewel, a smart decision as he would go down on the smallest detail.

the more he watched you the more annoyed he got. you were checking every single thing and the look on your face showed evident panic by the minute. he’d really prefer to just rest, but after about a half hour of hearing you mutter and observe, he called it quits and got up, making his way to you. “herbivore,” he called, but you were too focused to notice. “herbivore,” he growled this time, picking you up by your collar. “can you stop muttering so damn much? it’s driving me insane. i’m trying to nap.”

he got your attention, but in a bad way. he could see tears pricking your eyes which had eyebags underneath them. you were clearly not in a good headspace and probably were sleep deprived, a bit of a shock to him. “sleep somewhere else! i’ve got to pass the exam perfectly or else Grim will fail us.” you insisted, a slight whimper in your voice. taking a look at your notes, you really did observe everything and anything with these plants. he’d even noted all the alchemy formulas regarding them, some even for older students you didn’t need to worry about.

“fuck it,” he said as he tucked you under his arms, grabbing your notes with the other hand. “crewel’s a bitch but not that big of one. if you need any help go ask that runt after waking up.” although you tried to wiggle free, he wouldn’t let you go until you rested up. failing isn’t that bad, just look at him. and if it really mattered that much, he’d get Jack to force the dumb cat to study.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ RUGGIE BUCCHI. ❞

running yourself ragged during exam season was not how you wanted to spend it. Crowley’s constant tasks, your friends being distractions, Grim taking off with your notes leaving you to rewrite everything. just as you accepted your fate, you sat silently in the cafeteria about to eat your lunch as Ruggie appeared, finding you as an easy target.

“prefect! mind giving that to me?” he asked you, reaching out his hand to use laugh with me, making you give him your noodles. “Ruggie, not right now.” you whimpered with tears threatening to spill. you were not in a good mood, he immediately realized it when he saw your eyebags, along with your hand twitching slightly from writing for too long.

“ah?! are you okay? your face looks like an absolute mess, but in a bad way.” he asked, you were half sure it was an accidental insult, but you didn’t focus on it as you shook your head and wiped your tears, taking a spoonful of soup while going back to writing. you had no time to talk to him when the exam was tomorrow, you needed every minute you could scrape up.

taking a seat next to you, the one Grim was supposed to sit in before ditching, and peeked at what you were doing. he couldn’t deny he felt a bit bad for upsetting you, nor did he really like seeing you sad no matter how much he teased you relentlessly.

“you’re doing that wrong.” he commented, you staring at him with the most stressed look, and he quickly backtracked. “i mean i’ll help you, you did that wrong. you also don’t need to study that part, it’s for second years.” although he wanted a meal for free, he ended up teaching you in the moment, hoping you wouldn’t cry and stress anymore.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ JACK HOWL. ❞

after Ace and Deuce cancelled on studying, along with Grim never showing up, you were at your wits end. looking at your phone, you rubbed your temple rereading the last message from Deuce. Ace got collared and he had to supervise him as they were locked up to study together and weren’t allowed visitors. you were already in the library with all your books, and didn’t have the energy to turn back.

while studying alone you were hung up on a lot of things. why do this? who was that? history in twisted wonderland was much more difficult than your’s. on top of names you had to memorize magic, time period, country, cities, all of a lot of foreign knowledge. throwing your head back with a groan, you see jack staring down at you, his ear twitching after your eyes met. you nearly had a heart attack but he quickly explained. “sorry prefect, i didn’t mean to scare you. i thought i smelled you and ended up finding you, is all.” you were slightly weirded out until you remembered his nose was one of the best in Savanaclaw.

“i don’t mind, Jack. it was just a surprise to see you. are you also in the library to study?” you asked, he nodded and told you how he planned to pass the exam on his own effort. he also asked what you were doing, you explained you were studying as well, and that Grim left you and the Adeuce were in trouble, which ended up turning into a small rant, your stress very evident by manner of speech. within a matter of minutes he was joining you, the two of you chatting in a softer tone to not disturb others while going over what you knew would be on the exam.

“the easiest way to remember the cities are…” he begun to explain to you, making you hiccup slightly and stare at him with happy eyes. you really didn’t want to bother him, but here he was taking time out of his own studying to help you out over something you’d already learned. even after you got kicked out for being too loud, he offered to help you back at Savanaclaw to reduce your stress.

“although i’m not the best at this kinda stuff, if you’d like i’d be willing to help you with it in the future.” Jack said as the both of you reached his room, making you feel relieved. although neither of you were the best, and you may of done better asking a teacher, he was very gentle and spent a long time teaching you, trying his best!

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ AZUL ASHENGROTTO. ❞

exam season was very busy. busy for you, a student who desperately needed to pass and study while also being Crowley’s errand boy, and Azul who wanted to make as much money as possible from every single student that even breathed in his vicinity, including you, who somehow decided to eat at monstro lounge. you’d been visiting the place every Wednesday for the past few month, you were surprised to see how many people still visited since the last incident.

“maybe i’ll just leave and study elsewhere..” you muttered to yourself after entering, seeing the sheer amount of people. you’d already had enough stress and decided that leaving would he better over the loud scenery of the lounge. you were falling behind as is, you couldn’t afford it. as soon as you entered, you tried to leave but Azul caught you out of the corner of his eyes, quickly chasing after you. you’d been one of his favorite customers and he would never tell you that he liked you more than other customers who only annoyed him as time progressed.

he was fairly quick to catch up on your situation. books, every Wednesday, loud noise, limited seating, he was on the case, though. “prefect, lovely for you to be here. the seats out here are full, but there’s some in the back.” he smiled as Jade appeared, almost out of nowhere. you were taken to the back before you could protest, where things were much quieter. it was nearly like a whole new room. he gave you the one drink minimum spiel.

you relented and ordered with an obviously annoyed sigh. afterwards, you spent such a long time studying with no breaks that it was already four hours in, multiple drinks, and they were almost closing up. although Azul said he changed and wouldn’t do contracts anymore, you considered asking him if he would give you one at this point. it was the umpteenth frustrated sigh and your loud book shutting did Azul finally talk to you instead of watch your breakdown from afar.

once he talked to you, he realized just how deep you were in as you jokingly asked him for a contract while rubbing your eyes, your notes everywhere across the table, you even sounded tired. “while i would be delighted for that, prefect, you unfortunately have nothing to offer me.” he responded, taking note of your punch card. just as you slammed your head on the table, nearly in tears from dress, you hear him pipe up. “just how much punch cards..” he muttered wide-eyed. he knew you visited often, but you had at least three cards full. “if you plan to ask me a question or for help i’ll be taking these.” he said, much to your happiness. you didn’t need to give him anything, after all! “but why all three?” you ask, raising a brow. “one for my notes, two for staying after closing hours, and third for getting to sit in the vip area.” he responded, treating the cards like money and going to fetch his notes for you. mission success, help the prefect without telling them you were worried.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ JADE LEECH. ❞

the second you exited class, you got to work reading flash cards down the hall trying to soak up every moment before the exam the next week. it was finally the weekend and you’d appreciate any second to work hard and pass. “hmmm” you heard a small hum behind you but ignored it, only after the second time did you see Jade and nearly fall down the stairs. just how long was he there for?

laughing, he gave you his signature smile. “are you coming to the lounge, prefect? Azul has a punch card system if you need help.” he told you, of course it was for him to benefit his business. shaking your head you sighed and walked off, making sure to hold onto your notes tightly while rereading them over and over. Jade was slightly shocked at how you brushed him off, and followed you.

“not right now Jade. i’m busy trying to pass my exam with actual hard work and not selling my labor or scraping any nonexistent funds to your dorm leader.” you said as you felt his presence. he could sense the small but still evident panic within your voice. the monstro lounge was closed for the day due to a leak in the kitchen, and thanks to this unexpected break he decided bothering you would be his best source of entertainment for the day.

“then would you like my help? free of charge, of course…” he laughed as you felt a shiver run down your spine. getting involved with anything octavinelle was never a good idea no matter how desperate and stressed you were. even if you were so overwhelmed you were going to burst it would be better than trusting Jade. especially when he was generous. “no thanks, Jade. I’d be better off trusting Crowley with my future than you saying you’re working for free.”

he faked a sob, acting hurt as he followed you into Ramshackle, eventually making tea for you and helping clean around the table. you hadn’t realized he made himself so at home by the time you ate a slice of cake he baked, you wondering where on earth he got that from, you had no ingredients for the fridge and needed to stock up. “now that you’ve finally taken a break, I’ll review this for you,” he laughed, picking up what you’ve written. “i’ll come help tomorrow as well but i’ll have to bring my mushrooms, they’re in a delicate state and need to be watched over.” and that’s how Ramshackle got a mushroom garden, and how you passed your exam with perfect marks.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ FLOYD LEECH. ❞

deciding on studying on your own this time instead of the adeuce duo who would only distract you in a matter of minutes, you took yourself to the monstro lounge to snack on something and work at the same time. the monstro lounge was slow that day as exams were coming up and most students were studying elsewhere, far away from Azul and the twins who would rope them in. it was perfect for you to study and relax, but the opposite for a certain eel.

as soon as you walked through the door Floyd’s eyes lit up. he was annoyed at the moment but seeing you excited him. without much thought he left Jade behind and immediately ran up to squeeze you, asking you where his favorite shrimpy was going to sit and what you wanted to eat. you on the other hand, internally groaned. you wish he would be professional while you studied, but that wasn’t happening. “just in a corner, Floyd. i’m studying for the upcoming exam..”

he pouted as that was all you did for the next two hours, ignoring him to study. eventually, you finally took a break to turn and see Floyd resting his face on the table next to you, staring intently. “hey, shrimpy…” he started in a saddened tone. “when are you gonna play with me?” he asked as you felt your frustration build up. “Floyd, for the last time. I have to study for my exam, I’m already behind and…” without knowing it, you ranted everything to him getting quicker and angrier by the second as you finally end with a big huff, trying to catch your breath. you immediately tried to apologize upon realizing what you did, but Floyd was in his own world of happiness.

“does shrimpy want my help?” he asked you, almost jumping out and down. you just ranted your entire struggles to him, and he decided that was the solution. “Floyd, no offense but,” you tried to interrupt thinking he wouldn’t be the best studying partner you could get, he would likely worsen your grades or just distract you completely. did he not understand how vital and important this was for you? as Floyd happily opened your book, Jade appeared seemingly out of nowhere. “despite what it seems, Floyd can recall everything he’s interested in.” and like that, he dropped off your tea and disappeared into the kitchen as Floyd begun to open the pages you needed to memorize first.

as you were slightly confused, Floyd ended up explaining in a way you easily understood, focusing the entire time and making you take a healthy amount of breaks when needed, even getting you more tea, tea that Azul insisted you pay for when everything was done, especially extra for staying after closing time, and you ended up getting much more with Floyd than studying on your own. “shrimpy’s smiling!” he commented happily as you did a quick oral quiz, passing with flying colors. you didn’t even notice how or when you did, but you weren’t as stressed anymore and were more confident thanks to Floyd.

✎ ˎˊ- "chocodollxren" [choco - doll - rhen] ˖˚˳⊹ 'ּ໋݊◵ dn repost. likes/comments/reblogs appreciated; not required. so long as you enjoyed the content.

thank you for reading! since i have quite a few requests to do before the event i’ll upload the shortest ones, some that only have like 1-3 characters, then the longer ones! since i want to upload the short ones all in one day, my requests close on May 23rd. anything afterwards will not be prioritize until my event ends in June.

[mbti-notes]

hi i’m an istj. i fear the problem im going to describe is resolved by being more Te proactive and taking on more leader responsibilities and failing. just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable. anyway i get involved with groups that align with my values to get things done but it always feels like i somehow join things that aren’t as efficient as i’d want them to be or stagnate. at the same time that i have strong opinions about what to do i resent having to take on more responsibility to enact it. i want to be part of an established, moral, process/group but it seems like everything is in flux all the time. just making sure: is this Te-Ne dysfunction ?

Your question is about type development. An important aspect of type development is understanding the weaknesses and flaws of your type, in terms of the ways that your type tends to misuse functions. You seem to believe that your problem boils down to a simple lack of desire to lead in group situations (weak Te?), but it probably goes far deeper than that.

Si-Ne problems often manifest as a general aversion to change, specifically, unwillingness to change how one looks at a situation, which would then significantly alter one's approach to it. Imbalance between Si and Ne becomes a very unhealthy stubbornness when one is also prone to Si-Fi loop that thinks in terms of pure absolutes. In essence, you believe what you believe and you want what you want, and nothing and nobody can break through that mental wall. Perhaps not even you.

Auxiliary development is meant to help with Si extremes and Si-Fi loop stubbornness by making you care more about empirical facts (Te) than your frustration (Fi). It isn't always easy to develop the auxiliary function when you come to believe that it interferes with what makes Si feel most comfortable (e.g. "just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable"). If using the auxiliary function feels so "tiring", it doesn't mean that you should avoid using it. Quite the contrary. It's an indication that you haven't yet learned to use it properly, which means further development is necessary.

Te wants efficiency, that much is true. However, what separates immature Te from mature Te is how exactly one conceptualizes "efficiency". When Te is immature, one has a very rudimentary understanding of how to be efficient. For example, one is likely to believe that efficiency is achieved through assertiveness or even brute force, i.e., "making" things happen despite all the obstacles in the way. Is it any wonder that using Te feels tiring, then? You're essentially forcing yourself to swim against the current. Si doms are painfully aware that their energy is finite, so they quickly run out of steam.

However, Te isn't really about mustering up energy. This is not what makes TJs smart, strong, and formidable. Mature Te conceptualizes efficiency as reducing the amount of energy required whenever possible, which is why they have a lot of energy to take on very heavy workloads - some people call it "working smart". This is done through facing the empirical facts of a situation head on and learning to work closely with them, which makes it far easier to make them work in your favor.

Your problem requires a two pronged attack:

Are you able to change how you look at situations in order to improve your approach (to address Si-Ne imbalance)?

Are you able to face the empirical facts of the situation and work with them rather than against them (to develop better use of Te)?

Wanting to be part of a process/group that aligns with your values in order to enact some good in the world is an admirable thing to strive for. Presumably, the other people involved in the group have the same sense of mission, otherwise, they wouldn't have joined. However, what you fail to take into account is that people aren't generally single-minded.

Human beings are complex because they are motivated by a multitude of factors, whether they realize it or not. They are full of psychological conflicts, contradictory desires, irrational impulses, old baggage, and unconscious bad habits. And when you bring people together, all that stuff comes out and creates complicated entanglements. A "group" only becomes a "team" when it is able to overcome those psychological obstacles together, and it can be a very long process of learning how to maximize strengths and mitigate weaknesses in every individual member. That's why a lot of groups simply fall apart. While your intention to join the group seems simple and straightforward (because Si-Te is admirable in its ability to keep things simple and straightforward), other people's intentions might not be so simple. If you fail to take into account the irrational aspects of human nature, you will cause yourself needless suffering.

Your frustration with people is likely a manifestation of your unrealistic expectations of them. Perhaps you aren't able to understand people who don't resemble you, let alone work with them. And you will certainly be doomed to fail if the only way Te knows to deal with individual differences is to force everyone to become more like you. That's an impossible task, not because it requires the energy of a thousand suns as you assume, but because you're choosing to fight against reality. Mature Te would advise that you should first face down the empirical facts of how people operate if you hope to discover the most effective way to influence them. Your repeated experience of feeling disenchanted with groups tells you that you're missing an important piece of knowledge about groups and how they operate.

I'll give you a very simple example from my own life. I used to gather with a group of 30-50 people once a week to conduct planned discussions. The discussions never really started on time despite everyone being in their seats because people weren't focused enough at the start of the session. There was often whispering and sidetalking and such that would go on for about half an hour before the room felt settled and focused.

One method of addressing the problem arose organically. Whoever was the main speaker simply started shushing people and it became a thing. Sometimes, it would even escalate to calling people out, like a teacher scolding a student in a classroom. This definitely made the social atmosphere less inviting and more tense. Sure, people would shut up after being called out, but they became less focused due to seething with resentment. Power struggles aren't great for group morale, especially if it's supposed to be a group of equals coming together for a common cause.

It all sounds quite childish, but these kinds of judgments are useless. You can call people childish, inefficient, incompetent, etc etc, but it doesn't solve the problem. And, worse, being judgmental blocks you from understanding people better and working with them. Perhaps an ISTJ would see this as a "mess", an "inefficiency" that wastes time, and evidence of bad character when people break the rules.

However, if you change the way you look at the situation, you might not be so quick to make such judgments. Actually, it's kind of weird for a bunch of people who know each other well to enter a room and immediately sit down quietly. Humans have a natural tendency to socialize as a way to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Isn't group cohesiveness a good thing, since it encourages better cooperation? If you are able to see the benefits of their chatty behavior and how it contributes to group cohesiveness, then instead of fighting against it, you would think of ways to harness it.

The real problem wasn't inefficiency; inefficiency was merely the symptom. The more primary problem was that a lot of people joined the group not just to "get things done", but also to make friends. The structure of the event denied them from fulfilling that important need and then they were more likely to act out. This problem was discovered when people had a chance to talk about what was frustrating them, which meant that the group had to make space to conduct some uncomfortable conversations.

To address the problem, the group eventually decided that the first 15 minutes would be devoted to socializing and allowing people to catch up, with the explicit promise to get down to business when the time was up. Some people brought drinks, others brought snacks. Some even showed up early to have more time to socialize. It enlivened people and enriched their relationships. Being "officially" allowed to get the chattiness out of their system, they were better able to sit down and focus on the planned agenda. The meeting felt like fun rather than a chore. And if you're interested in a cause, don't you want to recruit more people to support it? Making things more fun is one good way to attract support. You can look at it as wasting 15 minutes OR you can look at it as a 15 minute investment.

Solutions to human problems require:

cognitive empathy: figuring out what's really going on inside people's heads (in Te terms it means working only with the empirical facts of the situation, rather than indulging negative Fi judgments)

strategy: taking the time to work with people and figuring out the best way to help them get over obstacles (in Te terms it means investing energy early and wisely to maximize your returns later, rather than putting effort into the wrong places or only stepping in to tackle mere symptoms of the problem)

creativity: harnessing natural human tendencies to produce something useful or worthwhile (in Te terms in means taking what's already there and transforming it into a NET positive, rather than getting too fixated on every little negative detail and losing sight of the bigger picture)

Te can be a great function for dealing with human problems as long as you overcome the immature aspects of it, such as impatience, bluntness, or inflexibility. Every person is unique, so every group is different. Let go of the idea that there is only one way to approach a problem/conflict and you will start to be more creative in your approach. By accepting the fact that things are always in flux and using empirical evidence to understand and predict how change works, TJs become much more effective and efficient at everything they do. When it comes to people, meeting someone different from you is an opportunity to learn how to deal with that kind of person. The more knowledge you have of human psychology under your belt, the better you get at dealing with people's weird or negative tendencies. If a strategy works, use it again. If it doesn't work, adjust it to fit their psychology better.

In your situation, you see the problem as people being inefficient, so your inclination is to step forward and do something to "make" them more efficient. Humans aren't built with the prime directive to be efficient. They're not machines. Their psychology is messy, so trying to force them to behave like a machine is to force them to go against their psychology. In other words, you're choosing the least efficient approach. The more efficient approach, though it requires more intelligent thinking on your part (you want to become more intelligent, right?), is to properly understand the more primary problem of what's really causing them to be so inefficient in the first place. That is the way to discover the right strategy. If you are able to target those obstacles at the very root, efficiency improves more naturally.

Oftentimes, working smart doesn't require you to step up and be THE leader for everyone. As an introvert, it's probably more comfortable for you to work behind the scenes to talk to people, get a better idea of what they need and/or what problems they're experiencing, and incrementally remove the obstacles that are preventing them from focusing on what they should be focused on. You can't fix everything all at once, so just do what you can to fix what you are able to fix at any given point in time. It's a process and some progress is better than no progress.