#and no i'm not saying astarion is gay

[ltleflrt]

me: i wish it was easier to find m/m astarion content

some jackass: make your own content and quit whining

me: I ALREADY DO... i'm so thirsty to see him get dicked down that i gave him TWO boyfriends in my fic, and there WILL be sandwiching smut with him in the middle, tyvm

When I complain about wanting to find more m/m Astarion content, I am not asking fans to make less f/m stuff. I'm not even really asking people to make more m/m stuff.

I'M ASKING Y'ALL TO TAG YOUR TAV GENDERS FFS

male tav, fem tav, enby tav (or durge) SEE HOW EASY IT IS?? JUST ADD A DAMN GENDER TAG

[forcedhesitation]

huge ew at all the people who erase the bisexuality of the bg3 companions. they aren't "playersexual," they aren't "gay coded" or "lesbian coded," there are MANY instances of them expressing romantic and/or sexual interest in other characters of varying genders. and not just your tav. it's not a suggestion, it's part of who they are no matter who your tav is.

[chainsawmascara]

Idk man, I'm not bothered with aa, he's out here controlling the city and I'm sitting in his lap looking pretty bc I don't want r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s. Go off, toxic king, hand me a goblet of blood and give me an allowance.

[zapshazam]

Astarion is a 200+ year old vampire who spent that whole time seducing all kinds of people to bring back to his master and I know this, obviously, but it's SO funny to me how overwhelmingly...... hetero......... the fanworks are for him. like. this guy? THIS guy?

fruity men can and do excel at pussy! I know this, of course! but like. people heard his gay little laugh and Dr. Frank-n-furter voice and their lady Tav really thought 'oh i can't not fuck him'? incredibly fascinating to me!!!

[riddlerosehearts]

looking at the official bg3 character sheets and looking at gale's list of languages is making me lose it because what the fuck do you mean he speaks celestial, draconic, and giant but not elvish?!?!? i've chosen to reject that because there's just no way imo. in my mind he and elenion are driving literally everyone in camp insane by having lengthy academic discussions and reading each other poetry in elvish.

[allegorism]

while i think it's fair to worry about how much they're going to change certain stuff, i also think there's Way too much doomposting surrounding bg3's changes in characterisation

[mintharan]

i think it's fine for gay people to be put off by cishet people actually and how they interact with media, since we're not yet living in a world where lgbt people occupy the same space or are afforded the same rights. Cisheteronormativity impacts lgbt people negatively and constantly, and it's inescapable. i don't think it's being mean on the internet to point that out and I don't appreciate that whenever gay people have something to say suddenly everyone on earth becomes bisexual and we're being biphobic. it's disingenuous, cruel and dismissive, and it misses the point entirely.

[invinciblerodent]

with all the ""breeding"" oriented confessions and posts popping up on my dash [because that's apparently what you freaks (affectionate) are into], it doesn't escape my notice that out of literally ALL the character combos I've dreamed up in the past ten years, only like two are actually, physically capable of any form of reproduction, and there's only one (Harwen and Josephine) that I hc has, reproduced, once. They have one daughter, and that's it.

There's only one couple like that in this game, and that's a pair of idiots I honestly cannot picture ever actually wanting/having kids.

Going down the list and ruling out all the obvious plumbing issues (and vampirism) literally only leaves me with Petyr and Shadowheart, which..... my cringefail son should not be anyone's dad. That's the kind of emotional trauma that makes future DnD characters.

I mean, parents of the year right there: the reclusive woodsman who voluntarily exiled himself to the forest for being such a bitch, and the woman raised in an abusive cult with zero idea of what a parent-child relationship is even like. Oh, and their sometimes-boyfriend, the one sorta halfway mentally stable adult in the whole equation... whose entire presence in their life is that he just occasionally drops by for a threesome and breakfast, maybe a few days up to a tenday, and then dips out for another few months. (Yeah, here comes your Uncle Halsin, he's come to teach you about the forest and to fuck your dad while your mom watches. Just the thought has me snort-laughing.)

Dungeons and Dragons? Naaaah. It's Damage and Daddy Issues.

[hypertextdog]

YOU -- mm i want a fat man on me gaystyle but with clothes on

FURRY INCLINATION [Medium: Success] -- Any *animalline traits* to him, two-legs?

SENSATION -- That would do nicely, texturally speaking...

YOU -- not for now, but i'll keep that in mind.

POSTER'S GAMBIT [Easy: Success] -- Yes. YES. It's the perfect emotion. Everyone wants -- even if not that. So generalize, blogsman. Ambiguate. With this, you can finally build your *viral empire.*

BROAD APPEAL [Hard: Success] -- With your crowd: three faves, and a flirtatious re-blog from some fur-fag. Eight if the bitcoinette or the not-lycanthrope touches it...

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- Try again. We're *this* close to another "you have to let 'denny's parking lot at 3am' go."

YOU -- mm i want big men on me gaystyle #gay #mlm #lgbt #asexual

SENSATION [Medium: Success] -- But it's not about "big" -- "big" alone is nothing. Non descript. You crave *plasticity* -- you want to feel him pushing through, between your fingers...

FURRY INCLINATION -- Oh, yes. Sounds *sonft,* two-legs.

SENSATION -- *Really* sonft. If we must say it that way. And so *heavy* on our supine body, too. I almost wonder if we could...

New task: Administer the *auto-hand-job.*

SENSATION -- Yeah.

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- NEVER MIND THEM. Never mind any of that. You're almost there. Keep going, blogsman. *Earn* the U.R.L.

BROAD APPEAL [Hard: Success] -- Thirteen faves, four reblogs. None flirtatious -- none you think.

YOU -- what's missing?

BROAD APPEAL -- What do you think?

YOU [Impossible: Success] -- the *sapphic* factor.

BROAD APPEAL -- Exactly right. I *told* you I'm named this way for a reason...

HIGH SCHOOL G.S.A. -- Do it for Erin. And Michaela. I wonder if they're still...

BROAD INTUITION [Medium: Success] -- They're not.

YOU -- mm i want big men or women on me #lgbt #ambiguously queer

HIGH SCHOOL G.S.A. -- Ah-ah-ah.

BROAD APPEAL -- And about that word "big" ... you know what has to happen.

YOU -- but that's the core of it to me, kind of.

POSTER'S GAMBIT [Easy: Success] -- And to the fur-fag sector.

BROAD APPEAL -- A sector is nothing. We want the *website* in our hands. Even the proponents of Astarion, and the proprietors of "best girls"...

YOU -- Yuck.

BROAD APPEAL -- I know. But they're the only way.

VANITY [Easy: Failure] -- God, we'll be on *Ellen.*

BROAD APPEAL -- Enough of that. She's out.

YOU [Impossible: Success] -- mm i want anything at all #lgbt #ambiguously queer #asexual

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- STOP THERE. YOU'VE FOUND IT, BLOGSMAN. QUICKLY -- BEFORE WE BOTH FORGET -- TYPE IT UP AND POST.

BROAD APPEAL -- The known numbers don't go high enough. You've found a ticket out of here -- out of *Massachusetts.*

SHIVERS -- IN 2027, A METEOR THE SIZE OF A KLEAN KANTEEN WILL LAND IN THE CENTER OF ROXBURY AND LEVEL BOSTON WITH ITS ZETTA-JOULES OF IMPACT ENERGY. TOO SMALL AND TOO QUICK FOR EVEN M.I.T.'S OBSERVATORY-BOYS TO DETECT.

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- More important things than that are happening -- and sooner, too. Type it up, blogsman. This is the easy part...

YOU -- You type: "mm i want anything at all #lgbt #ambiguously queer #asexual."

SENSATION [Hard: Success] -- Stop. Go back. It's dishonest.

BROAD APPEAL -- This was never about you -- you were only ever the basis on which *this* could be constructed. If that...

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- Post it, blogsman. Make the world relate to you.

YOU -- You hit: "post."

YOU -- The progress bar reaches -- reaches -- completes. A green light indicates success.

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- YES. YES... Oh, I suppose we should have waited for *optimum posting hours.* It doesn't matter now. It's done -- and the onslaught faves will begin rolling in catastrophically in three... two...

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- In three... two...

Thought gained: Any day now...

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- Don't worry, blogsman. Just keep checking your phone -- the *wi-fi* here is *bunk,* anyway.

VANITY -- And once it does -- Ellen.

[ariossarts]

Man, I'm so tired of seeing the Sexuality discourse under the BG3 or Astarion tags. The amount of people posting that it's "Irritating" or "Disgusting" to see him with a female partner is rediculous, and straight up bi/pan-phobic.

It doesn't matter if Astarion has had more male partners in the past, and it doesn't matter if he's more flamboyant than the other male companions/characters. That does not make a person 'gay-coded.' To say he is strictly gay is to erase his canonical sexuality.

Astarion is Pansexual, as said by his writer and Niel, the actor that portrayed him. Pansexuality by definition, "Pansexuality is sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction towards people of all genders, or regardless of their sex or gender identity. Pansexual people might refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are not determining factors in their romantic or sexual attraction to others."

As a Pansexual person, it's been great representation to see that all of the companions are Bi/Pan, because not often is that given to us in media. I am in a "Hetero" relationship, but that does not erase the fact I am a proud Queer person, and it doesn't negate my same-sex relationships in the past. That doesn't remove my sexuality in anyway -- I am who I am.

Astarion isn't Gay. Astarion isn't Hetero. Astarion is Astarion, he likes what he likes, and people need to stop erasing his sexuality and/or trauma to fit what they want him to be.

Do some research on Pansexuality and Bisexuality, and stop the discourse of erasing Bi/Pan people from our communities. We are unapologetically ourselves, and if Astarion existed for #realzies, he would be to. Astarion has no limits to who he falls for, because that's the beauty of Pansexuality. Pans people fall in love with who you are at your core, not what's between your legs, and that to me is Astarions whole story in a nutshell. You saved him, you helped him, you made him realize he was worth more than his body.

In the great words of the Pale Elf himself; "Oh Come off. You're Wonderful. I don't care what you look like. What you cannot do, is make my decisions for me. I've had more than enough of that in my life"

Sincerely, a Pans Astarion enjoyer.

[dolceaspidenera]

After yet another post against women who romance Astarion, I had to say it.

The whole point of Astarion's romance is that he loves you because it's you, because he feels safe and seen with you, which is really ironic when people straight up deny his sexuality to project their ideas and preferences on him. He is pansexual, not gay, he loves you independently of your gender, so stop hating on women who romance him (and fyi, women can be bi too). I understand wanting to see more content with the ship dynamic you prefer, that's valid, but I don't see what use it has to shit on other people's pairings. 

We should be supportive of each other, not be divisive over this stuff. Just post and share more screenshots of your own Tav if that's the content that you'd like to see more of, or do some fan art yourself. If you don't have the ability, ask some of your favorite artists, I'm sure there are plenty out there that would be happy to draw you something. 

Honestly, I just love gushing over other people's Tavs, they are all so cool, and Astarion deserves all the love, independently from your Tav's gender.

So yeah... Don't make me tap the sign.

[meanbossart]

I appreciate how you write Astarion so, SO much. I feel like way too many fic writers infantilize him to a point where I honestly start wondering if I'm the one who misinterpreted him so badly.

I'd love to know more about what you think of his character and his arc. Personally I saw him and immediately went "oh god this guy is gonna be the irritating tumblr sexyman of the year🙄" and it took me until Araj basically to warm up to him. What were your initial thoughts and did they change much while playing the game?

OH thank you so much!!! That's a shame if it's the case, and a little surprising to me, to be honest! While he's definitely written be an aloof jerk a lot of the time, I always found him to be surprisingly mature and introspective whenever he's not dishing out witty remarks. He comes off to me as the kind of person who learned to benefit from seeming dumber than he actually is, overall.

HAHA I had a VERY similar experience, not just towards Astarion but all the characters, really (I really disliked Shadowheart at the beginning, too). I had only seen pictures of him and pretty much expected a vapid character that was being carried to stardom because of a talented VA - and because people go nuts for anne rice style vampires lol.

While I was definitely enjoying his voice lines from the start (Again kudos to Neil) I definitely wasn't expecting much else. He piqued my interest after so devastatingly turning my character down at the tiefling party without me even having inquired, and that's when I, the gamer, was like "well, alright, I GOTTA fuck this guy now" (this is also where DU drow's personality began to come out as you can probably guess)

Obviously, if you have two neurons to rub together you can gather pretty quickly that he's not trying to woo you because you're so interesting and wonderful, so I started getting curious! With that dynamic being so different from what you usually expect of romances in these types of games, plus the charming way in which he is written, I started being won over.

I think what really did it was how gradually his attitude changed when responding to new, mostly trivial dialogue options and doing his greetings as you earned his trust, and ESPECIALLY with how he responds to your tav when you express any kind of fear or insecurity during his romance - which was with a lot of sincerity and confidence in his resolve to support you, and in you as a person, a complete 180 from his usual front - Which, again, makes me all the more surprised to hear that he's often painted with such an immature brush.

And obviously he has a DEEPLY ugly side to him (if you've read ANE, hopefully it's clear that I know this, and that I like to explore it just as much as anything else lmao) but it's very interesting to me how it seem to always come in the form of outbursts, rather than a constant evil-streak, usually followed by a glimpse of self-awareness. It feels very much in line with someone who's actually making a great deal of effort to manage their RAMPANT emotions and going through a lot of internal conflict in the process.

GAH. Yeah if you can't tell by this friggin' thesis I just wrote, I love the way they wrote this character a lot and I was definitely proven PROFOUNDLY wrong in my first impression of him - which, if that's not irony at it's finest I don't know what is.

And as an aside! I also very much appreciate that he's a "queer" coded character who's effeminate (in the Old Homo kind of way, but I digress) and flamboyant, but taken Dead Fucking Seriously. With as much progress as we've made in LGBT rep in media, I still often feel like gay men will only get that kind of treatment for as long as they "Aren't That Gay" (I know Astarion doesn't have a set sexuality - But lets not mince words: stereotypes exist, and he fits into most of them) and as a thin-wristed gay guy who's a little too found of linen shirts, I can honestly say that experiencing a character like that helped me with my own confidence.

[chronicsinner]

Parent Tav x Zevlor + Uncle Astarion Headcanons

Imagine: Tav and Zevlor having a child (whether adopted or biological) and astarion is living with them as the sassy gay uncle.

Authors notes: This was supposed to be a shitpost but I just kept typing lmao. I will not be taking questions at this time.

Once the Elder Brain is defeated, you and Zevlor offer Astarion a place to stay. You know Astarion has been through enormous hardship and you don't wish for him to be thrusted into his freedom alone. He won't admit it, but he is very thankful to be able to stay with someone he is familiar with; especially when its day and he can't go outside.

After a year or so of living together, you discover you are pregnant (or discussing the logistics of adopting a child.) Zevlor, an older man who has never had a child of his own, becomes incredibly anxious. One night, in the privacy of the bedroom you two share, he expresses his concern about having a vampire around the baby. "You know I'm not one to judge.. but-" your partner exhales and pauses for a moment. "you're sure its safe to have a baby around a vampire?" You take Zevlor's hand in your own and give it a reassuring squeeze. You explain to him that Astarion is not a bad guy and how he was forced into being a vampire. "You are overthinking, Zev'. I know its difficult.. but please, trust me." You whisper. Zevlor sighs and with a soft smile, he agrees.

Once the child is born your vampire housemate is drawn to the puny creature; tiptoing into the nursery one night to peek over the bassinet as it sobs tiredly. For a moment, he feels awestuck at just how vulnerable the newborn is. Tiny rounded features with softly pointed ears and a teifling tail that is no thicker than a quill. Astarion speaks to the babe quietly, trying his best to keep it from waking it's exhausted parents. "Shhhh little one, its alright." He coos. After a moment of gentle shushing your child stops crying, finding the elf's gentle voice and the soft glow of his ruby eyes soothing. Immediately Astarion feels an unfamiliar warmth spread across his chest; its as if his undead heart is melting straight through his ribcage. He sighs before pulling up a chair and taking a seat next to the cradle. "I suppose its not as if I have anything better to do." he thinks to himself, trying his best to avoid the realm of possibility that he cares for the infant. In the following days, you mention offhandedly to Astarion that the baby has stopped crying at night. Zevlor reiterates you, saying how great it feels to finally get a full nights sleep. Astarion scoffs, giving a quick "Thank gods" before changing the subject.

However, as the years begin to pass, Astarion and your toddler become close. Much to your surprise Astarion starts to volunteer himself to watch your child whenever you or Zevlor express the desire to 'get away'. Although you knew Astarion was safe for your child to be around, you never figured he would actually have genuine interest in them. After all, he was only a close friend. He didn't have to concern himself with your child if he didn't want to and you made sure he knew that. But Astarion can no longer hide behind his usual facade of indifference and arrogance; his affection for your child is slowly becoming evident. Sometimes, Astarion will string himself along the sofa with a wine glass in one hand with your child being supported in the other. "I don't think your mother would appreciate it if I let you have a taste, my dear," he would say, holding his glass to the side as your child reaches for it. "Now, on the otherhand, if I were in charge.."

One afternoon while preparing lunch, you start to hear giggling coming from the hall's entryway behind you. As a protective mother of a michievious child, your interest is piqued. After a moment of thought, you decide to stop what you are doing and investigate. You dust the flour off your apron and stride down the hall, your mind beginning to race with all the possibilities of what your child could be getting into. The noise gets louder and louder as you walk until you approach your child's bedroom. You halt, pressing your ear to the door to listen for a moment but you are unable to make out any string of words. You twist the handle and your eyes widen as you open the door. Before you is Astarion, sat on the floor, with a feather boa around his neck. His wrist is pointing downward and his are fingers spread as your child is holding his pale hand by the knuckle. Upon further investivation you see that your child is painting Astarions nails a glittery black with comically crude level of precision. Astarion slowly turns his head over to you, his eyes half-lidded with mock offense. "Do you mind? I've waited all month for this appointment so you'll just have to come back later. Isn't that right (Your childs name?)" Astarion flashes you a faint reciprocating smile before turning back to your toddler.

If you ask Astarion how he feels about your child he will be very vague with his answer. "Oh, (your childs name?) Cunning little thing isn't she/he. Honestly, I didn't think I met anyone more stubborn than you until you decided to have kids with a tiefling commander." In truth, he absolute adores that kid. If anyone were to make the mistake of trying to lay a finger on your child he wouldn't hesitate to slit their neck.

Both Zevlor and you completely trust Astarion with your child at this point; even considering making him a godfather at one point. If you do decide to make him a godfather, he will get choked up; trying his damnest not to cry as all the emotions he has tried to hide for so long come crashing down.

[downbadspanishlad]

WARNING: Some of the following content may be slightly triggering due to discussion of abuse and trauma. Please don't read further if reading about that stuff could possibly hurt you! You're valid!

Masculinity in Baldur's Gate 3:

As a trans guy who didn't have friendly male rolemodels growing up, the male companion characters in Baldur's Gate 3 mean so much to me.

While Astarion is clearly my favorite, I have a huge amount of love and appreciation for all the companion characters (male and female). But it's the several types of masculinity the male companion characters have that offer something for male and/or masculine folks like me to aspire to (in some way or another).

Disclaimer: I've unfortunately not had the time to interact much with Minsc, therefore I won't be including him in this post, but he seems like a lovely and cool dude overall, so please don't take his absence as a sign of me not liking him.

Astarion:

Astarion's interest in murder/violence and being mean at times are definitely not things to aspire to, but I do understand why he does what he does. His trauma is no excuse for his actions, but they do explain a lot (He also becomes much kinder as you progress through his story, revealing that he's actually a pretty kind hearted dude that puts up a rough exterior as a method of defense).

I really like Astarion for a lot of reasons. The first reason is the fact that he is a masculine character that is ALSO an explicitly queer, slightly effeminate man with trauma.

In terms of being "explicitly queer," I mean this clip from this video:

As someone who doesn't neatly fit into the stereotype of being a "MANLY man", let alone society's expectations of what it means to be a "real man," Astarion's effeminate nature is something I deeply appreciate. 

(Note: That's not me trying to insinuate that trans guys me aren't 'real men.' It's solely about commenting on how men who are trans, hell - even cis dudes who are gender non-conforming, are often told they're 'not real men').

Astarion's very theatrical in his demeanor, and it's one of the things I love most about him. He's hilarious, he's fun, and he's able to be the way he is without being shamed and emasculated for it. I grew up and currently live in an area where being as theatrical and fun as Astarion is something that can get you shamed or even physically hurt for not being "man enough" in that way. 

I've also often felt very insecure in my masculinity for being queer and possibly being "not masculine enough" for people. Don't get me wrong - being gay is epic (and gay people are epic), but it has absolutely nothing to do with a person's gender or how they express themselves. Toxic masculinity, however, is something that suggests otherwise, and I'd be lying if I said I'd never felt insecure in my masculinity because of my sexuality (I admit that it's something I'm still working on too). But that's exactly why I love the fact that Astarion lives in a world where he can be as flamboyant, expressive, and as queer as he wants while still being seen as masculine.

I also love that bi/pan erasure is (overall) not a thing regarding the ladies of the BG3 fandom. Astarion is especially popular amongst the girls and the gays, and I think that's EPIC! I really love that Astarion lives in a world where he doesn't have to worry about people saying that his sexuality isn't a real or valid thing. It's really awesome, and I love that the women of the BG3 fandom (straight and LGBT) are completely cool about it.

And I definitely don't want to equate my trauma with anything Astarion has been through (especially as someone who isn't a survivor of sexual violence or physical abuse), but I also really love Astarion as a character because I find a lot of comfort in how Astarion's trauma is dealt with in his story.

So long as you (the player) treat him with the respect and dignity he deserves, Astarion is never shamed or made to feel "less than" for his trauma. The story of his trauma is treated with proper respect and care, and I absolutely love that. 

He makes me feel less alone and weird for how my own experience with abuse has left me with inner demons that I've yet to overcome. Like him, I experience night terrors due to my trauma. It's a very scary thing to deal with. And as a man, it makes me feel very small, ashamed, and pathetic. But seeing Astarion go through it and not having that be something he's shamed for is something I deeply appreciate. I know he's fictional, but seeing a character as cool as him going through that too makes me feel less alone and weird for it.

Wyll:

Wyll is a close second favorite character of mine. He's just an awesome, epic, badass guy! He's the kind of man I aspire to be. He does everything he can to help others, he cares deeply about doing what's right, he's a huge nerd/dork, and he's got the biggest heart amongst the companion characters (which says a lot in my opinion since he's got Karlach and Halsin as stiff competition for that category). He's very cool and lovely, and I really hate seeing how underappreciated he is as a character.

I absolutely love the meme of people saying that Wyll was the only origin character to dust himself off and head back to doing what he was doing before getting kidnapped and infected by the mindflayers. This man is too selfless and rad to take a break from teaching the tiefling children in Emerald Grove.

I do want to give credit for this meme to this cool dude called Azeem (aka Black Purist).

As well as this post here on Tumblr.

Gale:

I'll admit, I didn’t really care for Gale at first. But the more I got to know him, the more I realized that this dude is (most certainly) on the spectrum. That's not a canon thing, but I absolutely believe that he is. It's not a bad thing either (and I say that as someone who is also autistic). Honestly, realizing that many of his traits are autistic recontextualized certain things about him and helped me like him way more.

I'm not happy to admit this, but I think I didn't like Gale much at first because he reminded me a lot of myself (due to his autistic characteristics). That's some internalized ableism that I need to work on lmao. Anyways, after doing some self-reflection and giving his character a proper chance, I realized that Gale is actually really cool.

I really appreciate how straightforward Gale is as a communicator. The dude puts everything out in the open, for better or worse. He has no ulterior motives and does his best to make his intentions very clear. Love him or hate him, Gale is a dude you're not afraid of (unless you're a bad guy or something).

I also appreciate how passionate the man is about the stuff he's dedicated his life to (magic, which is most certainly his special interest). Gale is also very kind and open-minded, a good example of this being what he has to say about Astarion's vampirism.

Overall, Gale is an excellent man, and I really appreciate the sort of masculinity that his character represents.

Halsin:

So long as you save him and the Emerald Grove, Halsin is totally chill with you from the first moment you meet him. He's very kind, upfront, and non-judgemental, which is pretty cool.

I also really appreciate how much he cares about consent. Halsin is polyamorous, and if he expresses romantic interest in the player character and the player character happens to already be in a relationship, he makes sure to not pursue anything without the expressed consent of both the player character and their partner. 

I know caring about consent is a bare minimum thing to do, but unfortunately there are still a lot of people irl who don't care about it, which is why I greatly appreciate how Halsin (and also BG3 as a game) treats consent as an essential, inherent part of romantic and sexual relationships. Very cool, indeed!! 😎💖🌟💫

[box-dwelling]

My Dumb sexuality head canons for bg3. Ignoring the player sexualness

Wyll: beloved bi king. I am pretty sure he even has a line about it

Lae'zel: OK this is complicated because like, I genuinely think being a gith in the material realm means that she is just not comprehending the gender of the people around her in the question of attractiveness. It's the classic monster fucker thing where you stop caring about gender. And sex within gith culture is complicated anyway due to how they reproduce so she's probably omnisexual.

Shadowheart: She's definitely sapphic. There is nothing heterosexual about her and laezel and honestly her and Nocturne too. As for if she's into men. I'm not sure but I want to say no just because I know she's the go to romanced companion by straight men

Karlach: Listen Karlach X Wyll shippers. I see you. I understand you. I love you. You're so valid. Its not my ship but i do get the vision. I cannot see that woman ever dating a man. If it's any consolation I do think Wyll has a weird relationship with gender so, that could probably still work out.

Gale: He's definitely into women. I honestly switch on if I think he's into men or not. This will probably be subject to change after I do a romance run with him

Halsin: Pan and poly. 100% and I love him so much for it

Jaheira: OK ok OK. Hear me out. Aspec. Khalid and her had like a genuinely great relationship even though her feelings towards it were probably more platonic than she was willing to acknowledge but after he died she had no interest in ever having anything again because she could kinda check it off her mental list of things she is supposed to experience.

Minsc: I swear it is not intentional that I'm saying this for the non romancable compaions but I also think ace. I think he like thinks he's straight. He will sleep with women because he socially thinks that's what hes ment to do but his heart is never in it and boo is desperately trying to explain to him that he can just not do that if he doesn't want to.

Astarion: left for last because I think this is my biggest hot take. You cannot convince me he is into women at all. That is a gay man. Basically, every line that I'm aware of where he talks about romantic or sexual desire is with men. Like it's Astarion so his relationship with sex is complicated and you can maybe convince me of homoromantic bisexual though i personally think he doesnt consider his own desires at all during sex at least at the beginning of the game, so he doesn't mind sleeping with women because sex is just the thing he thinks he has to be doing but beyond that I cannot see it.

[eff-plays]

People get really defensive about "writing Astarion with women" when what people are actually annoyed/upset about is that people are putting him in heteronormative relationships with women.

And it's not like, "YOU, INDIVIDUAL WOMAN, WROTE HIM WITH A WOMAN? A POX ON YOUR HOUSE!" and more like "a majority of fandom is writing him in this specific way with this specific type of character that doesn't really reflect who he is in the game and shoehorns him into a generic booktok dom daddy."

Which. Yeah. People are allowed to feel annoyed/alienated by that type of trend. I think. Maybe. I've seen several fics where Astarion being with big burly men (implied to have been penetrated) was portrayed as traumatic, while being with little virginal female Tav was "healing". And yeah, you're technically acknowledging his pansexuality ... But the implications aren't great. Ya know?

And there's a LOT of conflating domming/topping/being on top. Which ends up only highlighting the heteronormative approach to a lot of fic about him. "He gets on top > so he always tops/penetrates > so he's a dom." Because for some reason penetrating others is less traumatic to him than to be penetrated? Which is a whole bag of worms that people seem reluctant/unable to unpack.

Now, the other side of this argument are people who go "lmao those delusional wamen think this homosexual twink would top them" which is. Also not great? But in the end reflects the same type of reductive and heteronormative argument, it's just coming from the other side of the spectrum. He's flamboyant and pretty so he MUST be incapable of putting his dick into someone else. And he's MORE feminine than the women he gets paired with, so obviously that's unrealistic and he must be paired with a big strong man instead. Which is like. Well you're paired him with a man but you're still being just very heteronormative about it. Even gay relationships must have a "man" and a "woman", is your argument? And Astarion, being beautiful and a presumed bottom, is "the woman"?? Hmm. Don't like that.

Maybe. Astarion is. Pansexual. And can both bone down and be boned down. Maybe he does have a preference. Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he doms, maybe he subs. Maybe he switches depending on mood/partner. Maybe he likes different sex positions where he's on top and ones where he's below. Maybe he's down for whatever as long as it's with someone he loves. Maybe he's neither "the man" nor "the woman" in a relationship and he's simply Astarion, a man in a relationship. Maybe in the end it doesn't fucking matter and putting him into rigid binaries is doing him a disservice.

Anyway. My nonbinary Tav's gonna upgrade his gender to Man+. Cis premium. They're gonna explore his gender and preferences and expression together. I think that might be fun and freeing maybe. And they're gonna take turns topping and bottoming and both will be soooooo healing because um. They're having consensual sex and are in love. So it's healing by default. Regardless of who's putting what where.

Well. Anyway. All I'm saying is. Stuff.