#and no she wasnt a good person either | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lunarr-stuff · 2 years

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#im too kind too caring for my own good...i forgive the unforgivable #i rationalize the bad...no one really understands how much i do for them #just need to remind myself everynow and again that yes the person i broke up with was really an actual asshole #lulu rambles #i did everything for them cared loved i had always been there for them #but it still never was enough #and i need to keep remembering that #i understand that nostalgia is a very powerful thing #it blinds and makes u think that yea u were happy with that person #but if u wind back time u realize no #not really #u read back the messages u look at old posts #and yea the anxiety rises back up again #u realize u werent perceptibley better then #and no she wasnt a good person either #its just that my brain wishes so much to have MORE inmy life #that it will crawl at even the slightest happy memory #remove its context and make me regret everything again #like Well Geee wouldnt u want to have that special feeling in your life again huh!#and that memory just so happens to be attached to people who are gone and i just really need things to be different so badly #to feel okay #but there was nothing happy about it #i wasnt happy with them #i was miserable and i need to remember that

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moeblob · 3 months

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A lil guy !

#honkai star rail #dan heng #genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy #so dan heng in a hoodie #now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw #but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today #since shes been in the hospital for many many days #so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos #and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good #and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner #and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool #and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those #are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email #and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct #then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way #but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now #so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv #while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now #on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it #and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once #this is literally a personalized attack to me #and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie #and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening #and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down #that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this #and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!

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lanshappycorner · 4 months

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This is how I look knowing that tsubaki's pronouns are allegedly confirmed to be he/him but idgaf I'm still calling her she/her

#the confirmation came from the editorial so we dont actually know what the author thinks but personally #she is transfem TO ME #idkidk i have read a good amount of stories okay and ive seen the Boy That Likes Girly Things trope done a million times #and i dont mind it i support gnc men but this story in specific doesnt seem to read like that at all to me💀#it didnt feel like a narrative about her being a gnc man💀 if it was i feel like it wouldve been easy to get #but the fact that it took this long for her pronouns to be confirmed and we were all unsure goes to show that her arc was Not #her being a Man and liking feminine things....#idk how to explain it but either ways she is transfem to me and unless the author directly calls me on the phone and tells me she isnt #i will call her whatever i want !!!! not even the editorial can stop me #ACTUALLY LAST ADDITION IM JUST SAYING #if her entire character arc was about how shes a man that likes feminine things end of story you would THINK #you would THINK that we would all understand it because her arc was AMAZING #but the fact that we all came out of it thinking she was transfem until the editors confirmed she apparently wasnt #means that either the writer sucked at getting their point across or maybe his point was not that shes a gnc man #IM JUST SAYIN....

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marklikely · 8 months

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people r having an absolute fit over the frankie refresh having pink in it and i feel like im going insane. do these dolls not have more or less the exact same amount of pink in them.

#this complaint is literally so stupid it is the same. wrt pink.#the hair has pink now sure but its been totally removed from the skirt/shorts and toned down from the shoes. who give a shit #also you guys should be jumping for joy that we finally lost the absolutely hideous pink lipstick that looked bad w their blue skin.#avpost #anyway if you care abt my opinion i think all the refreshes are either a lateral move or a huge improvement. except cleo hers is bad #im excited to see lagoona in person bc it looks like theyre changing her pink skin tone and also i love the giant pants they gave her lol #i didnt like pink lagoona but i wasnt opposed to it in theory. my issue is that the specific shade they used is so ugly & clashy #the new one looks sooo good in pictures but i cant tell if itll look equally bad in person as the last one did #idk i like most of the changes except cleo she looks terrible. imo.#also for this doll specifically im annoyed that they're losing the belt with their own name on it! smh

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cosmic-ships · 3 months

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might not be super active today? We'll see??

#D noticed a change in me this morning and its a not good change. she thinks I'm starting or already in a depressive episode. i had no idea #until she mentioned it. ill continue to not realize it either even if i think im okay sadly. she gave me some good encouraging #words before she left for work and gave me a big hug. told me if i need anything at all shes here for me. she also said #that she is going to make some of my favourite foods for dinner tonight. shes so nice?#i always seen her as like a mom to me. huh so this is what it feels like to have someone actually give a shit?#she pays attention and knows when im not doing great mentally. i am always blown away because *i* dont even notice it #then someone asks of im okay and i bawl my eyes out for literally no reason but it turns out i wasnt okay because i was #feeling not like a real person <- literally its one of the big things i struggle with and apparently according to D its a big tell that im #in an 'episode' i tend to just sit here and stare 'into space' for awhile.#i hate that she can notice it and i dont even though im the one doing it its a little frustrating to say the least #not self ship #tw: mental illness

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grapecaseschoices · 9 days

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Human vs Spirit Cole

Spirit

Solas approval

Krem gets Romance

I dont have him in Kendis' party that much anyway, so whatever???

He let's go of trauma not his.

Human

I could moving forward. I feel Kendis would be more likely to take Cole under their wing if he was a human. Obvs.

Solas disapproval, ie he is a bitter old man and i think it's funny to force him to parent a human.

He can explore so much more as a human.

#someone said like human colv gives varric a friend. and im like thats not my business???#there are so many grown folk that could be varric's friend if he wasnt up hawke's ass so like .... ima not gonna decide this based on his #feelings #the only person's feelings it seems that matters is KENDIS bc it goes good either way for Cole #like solas' approval is only counted bc i like to keep that topped off bc he's so bitchy and those slightly disapproves might add up #but varric i think is pretty cool with kendis [tho i didnt bring him to those last two red lyrium stuff ...]#grapecase plays dai #kendis adaar pt #but like like varric's solas' is not NEEEDED or even weighing heavy. it's just more of a bonus that varric's in this pt #if anything i wanna see him adapt to liking a human. a qunari. and a dwarf lmaao #he wont but ...#honestly my main draw back is the krem thing bc i want krem to have a romance and i dont think COLE SHOULD like isnt trespassar just ONE ye #r like where did that even come from? lmao #who the fuck is marydyn [i know who she is. but like whomt???]#i have to make this decision icly if it were me it would be spirit bc krem.#but -- kendis doesnt want cole to suffer the way he is. but #i like the idea of change vs stagnantion i read somewhere idr #lmao

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get-more-bald · 27 days

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the fuck do you mean I have to leave....

#like. i fully knew this would happen #but the moment is just. so disheartening #'what if we lose the best of our generation' girl so i wasnt the best... cause you just sent me out with low expectations....#<- ngl this fits my character... but at what cost #the way i characterize lori (my vault dweller) is that shes jokey and shes fun and she doesnt take things too seriously #shes had sort of an 'adventuring spirit' and was mostly skilled with weapons and thats why she was sent out #and like. everything was silly to her in the wasteland until her companion (katya) died under the cathedral. then it became too real #and the master conversation traumatized her a bit cause like. here is the creature that caused suffering. and now its real and its so much #more horrible than she was taking it as #also the masters body horror freaked her OUT. cause supermutants etc seemed like just... altered humans. just enemies or just a person #but the master (even tho technically posthuman) was something else entirely #and it became so real and she got a huge reality check and she cant look at anything the same #if not for the master shed probably get back to the vault and keep going in and out. but after the cathedral? she just wanted to go home #safe underground with normal people. maybe nobody would understand her but at least she wouldn't be in that horrible world out there #maybe shed even go with ian and tycho and maybe even dogmeat. and they could be safe from freaks and zealots. but no #when she finally did want to go home - she got locked out. reminded that she was never the best of the generation #and when she finally became that and saved everyone - shes still wrong. not good enough -> too good and too much #shed be a bad influence. she was meant to do the job she was given and shut up and be thrown away when she fulfilled her duty #which ties into her never really doing a job - she doublecrosses gizmo and that maltese falcon guy and the adytum guy etc etc #even when she gets tandi back she goes back to murder everyone there (raiders) though she said she wouldn't #but before it was silly. she was being smart and having fun adventuring even if it got difficult sometimes #but the master was real. katyas death was real. ian almost died. everyone who ever agreed to help her either died or almost died (followers #and bos paladins #)#like shit. lori was NOT meant to be that deep........#also i have thoughts on aria (vault dweller i played before the save got corrupted and i had to abandon him) but there less formed #because when i had to stop playing him and make lori he was only at necropolis for the 1st time #oh my god.... this too ties into lori being always secondary #my poor girl.... i think she died young #young as in like. 30-40

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nomairuins · 2 months

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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing #but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day #while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes #and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her #but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work #and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to #but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat #what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me #and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even #b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it #i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified #theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying #but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly #idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me #me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in #that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i #saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage #for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god #idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week #and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice #i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel #hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in #touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment #a2t #i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it #graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol

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13eyond13 · 3 months

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#just watched s 2 ep 7 of the vampire show #and these are just some ramblings that hopefully will not offend fans of the show im just trying to articulate my thoughts to myself #i think it was a cool idea to turn their trial into one of the theatrical performances onstage #however im still annoyed at how the domestic violence episode happened and was apparently a real thing #like idk it just ruins the whole vibe in the book of how these characters were living together doing awful things to humans yet #somehow mostly carrying on in civilized peace and not ever directing that violence toward each other for decades on end #this choice messes up the characterizations and relationship dynamics too much for me somehow #also messes up the aesthetics that are a delicate balance between the savage and grotesque and polite and refined #it was important to me that lestat wasnt the one to first cross that line in the books and that claudia was #i feel like kinda the one thing that lestat had going for him in the first book as a standalone story #was that he didnt ever cross certain lines with louis and claudia that the show made him cross there?#he seemed to have a different inner set of rules when it came to what violence he would do to humans and what he would do to them #it's hard to even articulate what kind of shittiness is a dealbreaker in a character or a ship to me #especially when theyre constantly doing stuff like feeding on people to stay alive #but for some reason lestat and louis beating the shit out of each other is just such a nonsense ooc thing to make them do in my opinion #also claudia in the book was valid for what she did to lestat already i thought. i dont see why they had to change or add to the motives #she was turned into a vampire at age 5 and therefore almost purely a vampire in nature and also totally valid in not being happy about it #and in the books lestat made her a vampire on his own after louis fed on her and they did not discuss it beforehand #and he never mentioned rules about a child vampire being forbidden and louis did not beg him to do it. in fact one of the biggest reasons #that louis and claudia decide to turn on lestat is because theyre convinced hes just pretending to know more than he does about vampirism #and either has nothing to teach them or wont ever let them go so they can find out anything for real about their own kind #these changes in the show bother me too but i think im not that good at articulating why #i also feel like as much as book louis's weakness and passiveness and guilt can get frustrating and isn't always interesting to follow #in a way that's kinda one of his more saving graces and most defining traits as a vampire as well - so i dont always know how to feel #about them making his character more powerful and aggressive and involved in things in the show at times?#on one hand i often get frustrated at his moping and indecisiveness and inactivity in the books #and yet on the other hand i find i miss his quieter softer excruciatingly polite book personality when i am watching the show at times too #p #vmpcs

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thatgirlwithasquid · 27 days

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gosh getting a bit drunk has only made my wolverine pining worse. time to probably fall asleep while rewatching x-men i think :)

#personal bs #i love him. i want him.#i should definitely write my daydreams of him out into a coheisive x reader fic cause why not yknow? they are Extensive #i like a good x reader fic too but not a lot cater to my asexuality #i know what i want and i can and will give it to myself #i should actually. self care and all that <3 #he's just too pretty. absolute babygirl. wanna kiss his hands <3 #fuck im drunk and besotted rn #emphasis on the drunk. which like goDAMN #i am only on my second vodka lemonade. i am a lightweight (:#anyway. i think he needs to be kissed. by me. specifically #yeah. ima go watch that film and scream at the fact hes in love with Jean Grey. which even sober does not make sense to me #like- specifically in the x-men films. cannot fathom why he was just suddenly in love. zero buildup and she wasnt interested either?#in the 90s cartoon i just kinda rolled with it cause we didn't see them before jubilee meets them so sure ok they prob have history #but in the films there is NOTHING #maybe im just not letting myself suspend my disbelief cause im a jealous little idiot but eh whatevs.

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tkbrokkoli · 8 months

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just had the worst hair cut experience :(

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red-elric · 1 year

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bottom line of that terezi post is that karezi would be really good if karkat wasnt troll gay KDBSJSBDBSJJS

#it me #homestuck #karkat vantas #terezi pyrope #karezi #same is also true about daverezi dave is also troll gay #hes human gay too (bi) but yeah neither of them would have been cool w terezi dating more than one person #which like. questionable if thats good for terezi either but it wasnt gonna be either of them if she committed to monogamy.#for her it was always gonna be vriska #and dave and karkat both need monogamy in their relationships!

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dapperrokyuu · 10 months

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Saw a bad Mochijun take, lol.

#dee p thoughts #genuinely dislike vague posts and/but I dont want to put a person on blast but like #''alice became irrelevant'' quite frankly the plot revolved and wouldnt exist in the first place without alice nadfbjkldan #I can get behind the idea that the plot is less EXPLICITLY about her lategame and mochijun frankly wasnt perfect about writing girl #characters (sincerely Id say the PERFECT done ones are only lacie and echo; the rest struggling with either disappearing quickly a la #vanessa and marie relegating to supporting/supplemental to male characters roles a la sharon ada shelly and/or funky in execution a la #lottie lily and alice) but literally. the plot goes from ''who murdered her?'' to ''why did she die that way?'' and that means EVERYTHING #EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGG!!! OZ IS RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!! frankly should more have happened with her lategame YES!!! but she frankly CANNOT BE #IRRELEVANT EVERRR- lots to think about in terms of the girls' character writing in PH lottie really gets me a ton in terms of what was trie #that I could see and what didnt happen and the mild disappointment and the potential LOTTIE IS SO COOLLLLL but her intro. ack and more-#GENUINELY GOOD I COULD SEE THE ATTEMPT AND WHERE IT WAS TRYING TO GO A TO B MAKES SENSE AND IS ULTIMATELY HEARTFELT BUT THE EXECUTION WAS S #OOOOOO not the best lol. like her a ton cute design could/wished it could be better- lily is perfectly serviceable but relegated to being #cute and reactive after her moment which works but more would be better/coolerrrrr #hated levi. this point is irrelevant but I just remembered him and I loathe his ass. choke.

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munamania · 1 year

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be so serious with me. do you think that shared trauma caused by interdimensional violence and death and government conspiracies and survivor’s guilt would seriously be outweighed by a petty high school breakup.

#be SO serious.#like. are you kidding. are you joking.#you'd isolate nancy from the other teens. two of her only living friends. bc of a stupid breakup in a dwindling failing unfortunately #incompatible relationship. you think that's like. a good take.#i'm personally a fan of steve and nancy weird awkward best friend soulmatism. they gave it a go it didnt work they still had fun chemistry #and they have all that shared experience.#i'm pretending i dont see s4's Moments #abby talks #i just got hit with this bc of a gifset of steve robin and nancy and the little gremlin in my brain went #oh people would Hate this. because god forbid nancy be anywhere near the golden duo. but they're STUPID #steve still admires nancy i think!!!! that's his first love!!!! and they made up in season 2 and so much has happened since???#i dont think he needed to say I may be a shit boyfriend because yeah no he wasnt. but he was not compatible for nancy #dealing with her trauma and her need for acknowledgment in barb's death. and her guilt. that's not a fault of either of them it just didnt #work. that's just. whoopsies oopsies it's almost like they needed to show an incompatibility there to eventually move her on to jonathan #which is so reductive and stupid and i wish she was just alone but whatever #and REGARDLESS of that. she is not responsible for his feelings of insecurity!!! she had a drunken rant and yeah that sucks it was harsh #but god everyone has their moments #another YOU PEOPLE ARE WEIRD!!!!!! moment. try fucking thinking for once #you don't have to like nancy but coming up with all these absurd ass excuses and centering her entire character arc around how she #interacts with men. oh i could kill you.#btw whatever i dont hate jon and nancy and it's a story and it's fine but god she could use time to just be with herself

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devotedlystrangewizard · 2 years

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character hyperfixations suck actually because theyre the only way i can be invested in media but also they will have me going "hey where are they" "i wonder how theyre doing rn" right up until either the character or my interest dies

#currently in garlemald #i JUST realized while writing his post. the dying thing. i lose interest when a character dies bc no more new content #it happened with destiny & cayde it happened with zenos in ffxiv #but the thing is. these games have a fuckton of lore and story to comb through.#my interest in either game didnt die with the character hyperfixation i just. got a new one.#in theory i can be somewhat normal in ffxiv and actually appreciate most characters but. yeah. replaying shadowbringers except #im only interested in the cutscenes.#i didnt care about the first the first time through bc i was that fixated on zenos #i do care about the first NOW but only because gaia is my dearest & she & ryne deserve to be happy #but obviously gaia isnt in the msq so #shadowbringers felt formulaic in the same way hunting down the primals in arr msq did #while yes the overarching plot of shadowbringers is good and the writing is great and the villain is fantastic and graha is there.#going to a region doing a bunch of quests killing a lightwarden 'and now go do this four more times :)' is not my personal idea of fun #stormblood is still my favorite but hey man what do i know #it wouldve been endwalker if it wasnt for the ending & the way it sent me into 3 days of constantly ranting about #narrative redemption vs narrative condemnation for characters #but hey what do i know im just a teenager with weird opinions on things #really wish i was more confident in my takes i have so many posts i could make

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sanchoyo · 2 years

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Ik i don't talk abt bnha much anymore (I tend to wait to binge read stuff anyway and do go thru phases of being obsessed then completely ignoring stuff for months to years until I remember I Like It, but admittedly I've lost interest with it a lil bit regardless) but like. I get baffled when ppl lump bnha in with 'crazy fandoms' or whatever. yeah its a big fandom and im SURE theres discourse the likes of which i could never imagine (I am very good at blocking and blacklisting tho lol) but. it was genuinely, for me, one of the MOST positive fandom experiences I've ever had! ppl were always very very nice to me and supportive and I used to get so many nice ppl leaving comments or sending asks, and it actually makes me a lil teary to think abt bc. I am a very shy person tbh! and I always kinda worried the type of content I posted wouldn't be received well, but it was always met with kindness, and even when ppl disagreed with me they'd stay polite and thank me for explaining why and it always stayed very civil? so its hard not for me to look back on it fondly.

like for whatever problems I have w the series or direction its taken my experience was OVERWHELMINGLY positive and idk if thats just because I was firmly in the villains stan camp or what but. very grateful for it idk I'm just rereading old reviews and getting very nostalgic and happy if I could make ppl happy with it bc it made me happy too ;w; ill always be fond of the lov and a lot of the characters anyway. I still care for them very much. whenever bnha ends u guys gotta lmk if they get happy endings bc if not I'll be glad to write a fix it fic 👍

#to be FAIR. ive never had any super BAD fandom experiences either. i like to think im p good at being chill and reasonable and maybe that #kinda attracts similar ppl?? or. idk honestly but im glad for it lol #but bnha fandom overwhelmingly was supportive like. i had the nicest anons for it...i got the cutest merch sent to me for nothing?? that #was SO NICE I STILL HAVE IT BTW. i wonder if the person who sent it still follows me even tho i dont post bnha...#i mean i do every now and then when the mood strikes but ye #oh also danny phantom fandom was rly nice too abt my oc!!! my god she still has more notes than ANY oc post ive ever made #baffling how many cool ppl liked her and i got fanart for her too???#im always like. ugly crying when i get fanart of any kind JKASDHKF or fan works!!#very very very cool and nice....#sanchoyorambles #i want to write more fics sometime but i am STILL burnt out on writing from nano tbh?? it was SO EXHAUSTING #i HAVE fic concepts altho not bnha exactly #i do have bnha fics i could add to the wip comp that im never gonna finish but post regardless #altho tbh that wasnt received the best so maybe not...#:thinking:#there are some warm healer wips in there....i think #??#would have 2 check #also very funny bnha fact my sister is also a lov stan and has spinner merch in her car lol #same hat. we r truly related #me and a friend were talking abt smth related to this earlier #i dont get into good/perfect media much #bc i have this need to FIX THINGS #bnha fits that. i could fix her #ive never claimed its the Best Anime Ever but I CAN FIX HER *with a sledgehammer*

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