#and once we did get in the room i just tucked myself into a corner and tried not to freak the fuck out

[wikipediabr0wn]

my school had a lockdown drill bc of the shooting last week and now i'm having a panic attack 😃👍

[ashessonfire]

Bonjour, lovely!! I adore your fics, your choice of words are just *✧delectable✧⁠* and I'm amazed at how you beautifully written Kaz. If you may, could you write a little fluff with the reader being a skilled painter/sculptor and she helps the crows in art forgery. (I personally love when there's a little angsty yearning in the mix but I trust you will blow it out of the waters). Mercii!!

Stolen hearts - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Prompt : As a crow who specializes in art, what happens when Kaz stumbles upon one of your personal sketchbooks and gets a little jealous? - Pairing : Kaz Brekker x Reader - Warnings : Jealous Kaz, Kaz being an idiot, he gets a bit upset but nothing too crazy :)

A/N : Hi my loves, this is a pretty long one but I ADORED this idea, and so I let myself run with it.This may just be one of my favourite things I have ever written so I really hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing this!! As always requests are open, and please check my list here for other characters I write for!!

click here for masterlist

click here for characters I write for

(Also it seems as if we are getting closer to finding out if we are getting a SOC spin off!! After the writers strikes we should hopefully know, so lets try keep the Grishaverse fandom alive on here!! <3 )

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"You want me to recreate that in two days? Kaz, the original is painted in oils, they don't even dry in that time!" You exclaimed, peering over the top of a stolen painting at your boss, his gaze hard yet not harsh.

"I am aware," Kaz began, "But that's why I hired you, isn't it? You have not missed a deadline once, and I know you won't miss it now," his firm voice rung out into the acoustics of his office.

And of course, he was right.

Although you would have to take a few shortcuts, you could feel your fingertips twitching against the oak frame of the piece, mind already composing each element of the scene. Tucking it beneath your arm, you let out a gentle sigh, nodding swiftly in his direction before departing from the room.

He had saved you, and this painting was only a fragment in your repayment of Kaz Brekker.

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A fire had swept through your village just beyond the confines of the Barrel, leaving you with nothing but your pouch, filled to the brim with pencils, inks, and as many types of paper as you had been able to salvage. The corners of your paintings began to singe as your home was engulfed, pain piercing your heart as you sprinted down the path to evade the impenetrable walls of flame.

Ketterdam beckoned you into her grip, as you ventured through the dim alleyways until shadow gave way to dazzling light displays. The Lid revealed itself to you, and with no other choice you slotted yourself in with the penniless street merchants that lined the alleys of Ketterdam.

For years, you offered sketches, portraits, and paintings to the rich tourists that marveled at Ketterdam's wonders. Although mere pennies were offered in exchange for your work, it was enough to renew your supplies and evade sleeping by the canal, or being trampled by tourists.

As time crawled along your skills blossomed, transforming your rough ideas into magnificent pieces, worthy of far more than a few kruge. Soon, you began to slip into galleries, memorizing each stroke until your mind could guide your hands without a single thought. Portraits that were worth thousands were then being passed into clueless pigeon's hands for only a few hundred kruge, as your skills were unmatched in the art of forgery.

Little did you know that you were being kept under the watchful eye of Kaz Brekker's wraith, your talents being thoroughly observed and reported back to the leader of the crows.

You were able to swindle the pigeons for a few months until the Watchstadt began to take note of the remarkable artistry of your paintings. Overnight, the tides of your fortune changed, awaking one evening to the thudding of leather against stone, inching closer to you as each moment passed.

In a desperate attempt to escape your fate, you clutched your belongings and shot down a back alley, shadows offering you a blanket of protection from the moon's shimmering light. However it seemed as if your luck had reached its limit, as several guards barreled out in front of you, as your other exits were swiftly stolen from you.

Tears began to blur your vision, lightheadedness overtaking your senses, the guard's words became muffled and distant, as panic overtook your being. You were barely aware of a gentle voice calling you from your terror, a soft hand wiping away the beads of pain falling from your eyes.

In the hours that followed, you scarcely registered anything but your gratitude towards Inej, and ultimately to Kaz who had been increasing the hours that his wraith was sent to protect you. In a few swift meetings, Kaz Brekker had settled a deal with you, sheltering you from the darkness of the Barrel, whilst securing a valuable new member of the crows.

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"Thank the saints that that is over," Jesper all but shouted, falling backwards onto the sofa in the common room of the slat. Placing yourself on a worn armchair opposite, you felt somewhat peaceful as your painting had been so seamless that the entire mission was cut short by a few hours.

After jobs, each crow fell into their own routines to unwind the tension that undeniably interwove into each of them. Kaz's cane thumped lightly against the creaking oak of the staircase, ascending to his room to continue plotting. Hushed whispers often omitted from Wylan and Jesper as they basked in each other's company.

Inej was usually missing, as she was now, exploring the endless expanses of rooftops whilst allowing the bitter air to cool her down. Taking in the couple across from you, and a now slumbering Nina beside you, you reached for the familiar leather binding of your sketchbook.

The glowing embers of the low-lit fire cast soft shadows on your friends, and the light washes of orange and red watercolour aided in your attempt to capture the peaceful scene unfolding before you. However, the absence of a certain presence pulled you from your portrait, thoughts straying to the man who undoubtedly was scheming once more in his office.

Since joining his crew, a small fondness for the "demjin" had harbored itself deep within your heart, impenetrable and unmoving. He treated you with a cold kindness, gifting you small tins of expensive paints, or the latest papers, completely dismissing the fact they were irrelevant to your job.

With a short shake of your head, the thoughts dispelled, returning your mind to the clarity it needed to produce your sketch, the flames from the fireplace dimming as the room began to fall into shadow. The peace that art instilled you with returned, as your heartbeat slowed and a sense of calm washed over you with each brushstroke.

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Settling into his chair, Kaz let out a short breath, tension easing slightly from his body as relief gripped him, all thanks to you. Your painting had exceeded his expectations, not a single person suspecting the image to have been forged, and the original stolen into the possession of the Dregs.

Few things could entrance Kaz Brekker, yet something about the way your colours melted into each other, or the clear emotion engrained into every miniscule detail of a painting pulled him in. Perhaps the depth of your sculptures, or the smooth yet carefully crafted edges of the clay coming to life in his imagination were to blame for his admiration for you.

Kaz's mind wandered as he thoughtlessly ridded his desk of it's papers, hastily stacking them into neat piles as he tried to shake his thoughts of you.

Suddenly, Kaz was startled from his inner battle, gloved fingers brushing against a foreign texture, a hard leather cover of, something? Curiosity urged him to retrieve the book from underneath the blueprints and paperwork, eyes scanning over the front in search of a clue as to what the binding held.

Carefully undoing a well tied string, the front page fell flat against his weathered desk, the candle beside him offering a gentle illumination. Kaz's breath caught in his throat as he recognized the contents of the book, the etches of the pencil being too precise to belong to any person, but you.

The charcoal marks formed on the fraying page to portray Jesper, content as he sat on a patterned bar stool in the Crow Club, eyes slightly creased in content. Thumbing to the next page, Kaz discovered another depiction of his sharpshooter, however this time he was polishing his guns. Unlike the previous image, Jesper was now depicted in a light wash of colour, bringing him seemingly to life.

Enchanted by your work, Kaz continued to marvel at each sketch and painting, however a sharp feeling grabbed at his chest as he came to a realization. Apart from a few pages here and there, the subject that lined the parchment was always Jesper. Turning the pages increasingly quicker, a feeling of dread seeped into his stomach, a twisting combination of jealousy and annoyance building within him.

A gentle knock broke him from these thoughts, as your voice called out in the hope you would be permitted entry. Carefully, Kaz slid your sketchbook to the opposite end of his desk, pretending to analyze a discarded stack of papers before allowing you in.

"Hey Kaz, I was just coming to check in on you, I didn't get to catch up with you after..." you began, speech diminishing as your eyes fell upon the bronzed edges of one of your sketchbooks. Your eyes lit up as you began to grin.

"You left it on my desk," Kaz stated, trying desperately to burry the knot in his stomach, as your expression brightened at the thought of finding the book full of Jesper. "I've been looking everywhere for this one, thank you Kaz," you respond, hastily reclaiming the book, folding it snuggly between your arms and your chest.

"It shouldn't be here," Kaz snapped, a sharp tone piercing the previously warm atmosphere, "It's your personal sketchbook, so it needs to stay personal. Understand?" Kaz bit out, stunning you into silence as you backed away towards the door.

"Oh," you began, "I didn't mean to leave it here," voice cracking as you battled through the shock of his manner, and the hurt of him snapping at you. "Make sure I don't see it again, although I'm sure Jesper would love to," Kaz concluded, practically spitting out your friend's name.

The dismay you felt began to ebb away as you took in your boss' expression more closely, your upset being replaced with something resembling humour. "Kaz," your voice quietly began, "You're not jealous, are you?" you question.

Although the room remained silent, his features spoke a thousand words to you, his eyes widening fractionally to reveal fright, face becoming tinged by a rosy blush. Before you could utter another word, Kaz had guided you to the arched doorway, pushed you through the threshold, and slammed the door before you could witness the tips of his ears turning crimson.

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Through the warped glass pane of his window, Kaz was stirred by the early rays of sunrise, face gently caressed by each stream of light that infiltrated the darkness. Despite the restless sleep he gained, the bastard was surprised he had managed to fall unconscious at all.

From the moment he had shut the door on you, feelings of jealousy and shame had consumed him. He swore he had heard a splinter echo throughout his chest as he recalled the hurt spreading across your face the previous evening.

Letting out a short breath of frustration, he slowly contorted his stiff limbs into a sitting position, and only then did his gaze cast onto the unfamiliar shade of leather perching on his nightstand. Unease began to spread through his body, fingertips sparking with anticipation as he reached over to retrieve the sketchbook.

Frustration began to wrestle with the discontent, as he unwound the ribbon binding the wrinkled pages together, yet the colour of the leather seemed to shift underneath his gaze. Unlike the book he had previously discovered, this one was made of a darker material which he could only liken to the darkness of midnight. As he angled the cover, flecks of gold appeared, the early sun dancing light off of each one, illuminating the leather as if it were a sky full of stars

Nimbly undoing the ribbon on the side, the first page fell open, and to his surprise, a neatly penned note fell out of the cover, revealing an image behind it that Kaz was sure he would have permanently engraved in his memory. A pair of sharp eyes met his own, and his breath caught in his throat as he questioned whether he was glimpsing into some sort of mirror.

With a desperation he himself could not even comprehend, Kaz began to flip through the pages, the guilt he had initially felt now burning him from the inside out, singeing at his chest. Each portrait captured his every emotion, each stroke precise and beautiful in a way he had never experienced before.

Gently unfolding the corners of the note, Kaz's gaze deepened with each curling letter of your short message -

Dear Mr Brekker,

After your discovery yesterday, I thought it only fair to also show you your notebook too. I have one for each of the crows, yourself included, and so I kindly ask you not to panic further about Jesper being the only muse of my pieces.

Love, your favourite artist

P.S ~ You also have a second book, if you are interested.

Kaz's breath hitched at the word 'love' before his mind could even comprehend it, head spiraling with thoughts of you as he pictured your gentle teasing laughter as you penned the note to him. The guilt and shame became so consuming in that second that his chest constricted, and he knew the only way he could alleviate the weight was by visiting you.

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A sharp knock pierced through the silence of your room, pen stopping mid point as you called a gentle welcome to the man behind the door. Kaz's figure slowly filled the doorframe, waistcoat slightly untucked, and hair somewhat out of place as if he had raced to see you.

A teasing grin began to illuminate your features, and the sunrise seeping through your window was more than bright enough to display Kaz's rose dusted cheeks as he averted his gaze. Without so much as a sound passing through his pursed lips, a gloved hand directed itself towards you, clutching onto the dark sketchbook.

You smile faltered, the glimmer seeping from your eyes as your lips fought to stay curved, as you questioned, "You didn't like it?" Kaz shifted his dark gaze to meet your own, brows lightly furrowing as he grumbled "I thought you might want it back."

Your gaze softened as the walls you had been beginning to construct around your heart crumbled, "Oh, I meant it more like a gift Kaz, plus I have several more books dedicated to you anyway," you uttered tenderly. The figure before you lowered his head towards the object in his hands, knuckles whitening beneath his leather gloves as his grip hardened.

After a fleeting moment of your boss' gaze sweeping over your features, he gave a swift nod in gratitude, the scent of ink and secrets trailing behind him as he ventured back to his office. Disappointment clung to your chest at his swift departure, hoping that he would have remained in your presence for a few moments more.

However, as your gaze travelled upwards to glimpse at his departing figure, you noticed how he had faltered in your doorway. His broad shoulders were facing you, allowing you to to observe every deep yet ragged breath that lifted his chest.

"I..." He began, voice so low that it was barely audible, "I'm sorry for last night, I shouldn't have said those things to you," Kaz almost spat out, the words tasting foreign on his lips as he attempted to quickly escape to the confines of his office.

"Kaz," you called out, hope unravelling the knots of anxiety from previously, leaving you with streams of a newfound confidence, "I just thought you should know you are my favourite subject. No one else in Ketterdam seems to have a better facial structure than yours."

Kaz could hear the thick inflections of your smirk within your words, ribbons of humour intertwining with each letter you spoke. Despite your teasing being met with a remarkably loud silence, your words had planted themselves deep inside Kaz's heart.

Racing back towards his office, the beat of his cane against the oak panels of the slat hastened by the second.

Yet not even they could match the pace at which Kaz's heart was beating, as his mind replayed your words over and over in his head until the way the word "favourite" was all he could hear.

Thinking back to your short note, Kaz's lips formed a ghost of a smile, since not only were you his favourite, but he was yours.

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Kaz Brekker tag list : @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @ell0ra-br3kk3r @swhisperer @sleepynightchild @atlasiiae @kaiinohh @sannunah28 @at-the-chateau @withbeautyandragendrage @animalistic00 @whos6claire @any-corrie @daisydark @shara-ne @xxinvisiblexx @ldhpeter @viperinferno @kozbtchx @wishyouwere-sober (please comment if you would like to be added to the Kaz Brekker taglist)

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P.S - The best way to support writers on here is to repost / repost + add tags! If you could spend a minute or so doing this, it would mean the world <3

[sturniozo]

Tutor part Six

NOT PROOFREAD

masterlist

The rest of the weekend went as usual. In the sense that I mostly spent my time with Nick. Chris almost ignored me the rest of the time I spent at their house. He said no more than bye to me when I left Sunday night.

It was no surprise to me that Monday at school when Chris ignored me then too. But that didn’t change the fact that my stomach dropped when I saw him standing at his locker, tucking the hair behind another girls ear.

I stood in the hallway paralyzed, just watching the scene in front of me. She’s laughing at something he said. I can feel the tears in my eyes form and my legs begin to feel like jello.

I step back. I don’t even know what I’m doing as I quickly walk away. I run to the bathroom and wipe my tears off my face. I rinse my face off and take deep breaths. I shouldn’t even be crying. Chris isn’t mine.

I compose myself fully then walk out of the bathroom. I take a different route to class, so I’m not met with that view again. As I turn the corner to my class I crash into someone.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” I say quickly and look up to see who I crashed into. It’s a taller guy, one that looks familiar. I just can’t place where.

“Oh you’re fine.” He smiles at me. “I’m Ty, I’m on the hockey team with your boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” I shake my head. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Oh. I thought I saw you wearing Chris’s hoodie at the game last Friday.”

“Oh, you probably did… but Chris is just a friend.”

“Well that’s good then. I wouldn’t dream of asking Chris’s girl out, but since you’re not Chris’s girl…” He smirks at me.

“Ask-asking me out?”

“Yeah. What do you say?”

“Well I… I’d have to think about it. I’m usually pretty busy…”

“Okay well, when you decide, I have hockey practice Mondays and Wednesdays. Find me there.”

“Okay…” I say shyly and Ty walks away. I turn back around to walk to my class and see Chris just staring at me. He notices I see him and he walks away.

-

I open my front door for Chris. It’s our study session today, and although I’m still distraught over what happened yesterday, I have to act like I’m okay just for today.

Chris doesn’t even say hello as we walks in. He rushes up the stairs and into my room, laying on my bed instead of sitting at the desk.

I sit down at the desk, trying not to let anything Chris does bother me. I take out my notes and look them over.

“What did Ty say to you?” Chris finally speaks.

“What?” I ask. I turn to face him and he’s laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling while holding one of my stuffed animals.

“What did Ty say to you yesterday?” He says again.

“Nothing he just. He asked me out is all.” My voice gets quiet and I turn back around to the desk. I fiddle with the notes.

“You shouldn’t go out with him.” Chris says blatantly.

“Why’s that?”

“He’s just going to use you.”

“Oh.” I nod and swallow the saliva building up in my mouth. I fiddle with the notes once again. “What class did you want to start with today?” I try to change the subject.

“Do you like him?” Chris asks, ignoring my attempts.

“Who?”

“Ty. Do you like Ty.”

“I dunno. I never met him before yesterday.”

“You shouldn’t go out with him. He’s a prick and he just wants to use you.”

“So you’ve said before.”

“I’m serious y/n. Don’t go out with him.” Chris sits up.

“I never said I was going to. I only said he asked.”

“So you didn’t say yes? You said no?”

“Well… I told him I’d think about it.”

“Okay, I’ll tell him at hockey practice you made up your mind and it’s a no then.” Chris’s voice stopped being so monotone and had gone back to his usual peppy happy boy voice.

“I can tell him myself.” I say.

“If you do it he’d try to manipulate you into getting with him. It’s better I do it.”

“Why does it matter to you so much?” I ask.

Chris shrugs “I just don’t want you with him.”

“Why not? Why does it matter to you?”

“It just does.” He pauses before continuing “You’re Nick’s best friend, he probably doesn’t want you coming to him crying when that guy breaks your heart. I know he would too.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m just thinking about Nick here.”

“You’d think I’d annoy Nick by going to him if I got hurt? He’s my best friend, I’ve done to him for every problem I’ve had for the last five years!”

“God, I just don’t want you with him okay! Me!” Chris yells.

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Because…”

“Because why Chris?”

Chris stays silent. He puts on a brooding face and clenches his jaw.

“If you can’t tell me then just let it go.”

“Fine.” Chris huffs and leans back against my wall.

“Are we gonna study?” I ask after a long silence.

“Yeah.” Chris mumbles. He stands up and walks over to his seat next to mine. We couldn’t even get through a full minute before Chris says “Do you want to go out with him?”

“Chris, I said drop it.”

“But do you?”

“I don’t know!” I snap. Chris stays silent and I take a breath. “I’ve never met him before then. But you know him, and you say he’s no good and I believe you.” I say calmly.

“So you won’t go out with him?”

“I guess not.”

“Good. Do you want me to tell him?”

I shrug. “You see him more than me I guess.” I say, finally giving in to everything Chris wants.

Chris just smiles and then picks up his notes. “So, algebra? I’ve got like an 11% in that class right now.”

I look at him shocked. Partly because he’s actually studying today, and partly because how can he be pulling an 12%? “Chris- how?”

Chris just shrugs. “I’ve never had someone to study with to make it worth my time. Not before you.”

This makes me blush a little and I turn away from him to hide it. Then I remember yesterday and that Chris shouldn’t make me feel this way. He’s just as bad as the guy he was warning me about.

Tag list : @freshloveforthefit @sturniolo14 @sturniolosreads @bethsturn @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @dwalk41202

[zaddyneteyamlovergirl]

His Family: Part Two

Pairings: Platonic! Sully Family x Sully Daughter! Reader 

Warnings: Explicit language, Sibling fighting, SFW, Fluff, Comforting, Teasing, Jake being once again the best Father.  

A/N: Y’ALL BLEW UP THE LAST PART SO HERE'S THE SECOND PART. BEFORE THE START OF AVATAR TWOW. ENJOY ALSO SOME NETEYAM SMUT IS COMING OUT SOON SO STAY TUNED. LO’AK AND READER ARE 13!!!!

Part One: Here

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes Jake wondered if maybe he should’ve stopped after two kids. 

“LO’AK YOU FUCKER GIVE ME BACK MY COMB!” You cried out chasing your brother throughout your family home. The cheeky shit sprints around and you throw yourself in his direction causing him to fall face first into the table while a loud crack echos throughout the room. The rest of your family occupy themselves outside knowing how the two of you often butted heads but immediately stop hearing silence. 

“That’s not good.” Neteyam mumbles to Kiri who hums in ignorance continuing to help Tuk make a flower crown while your Father stands with a sigh and moves to head inside. 

“Dad it wasn’t my fault!” You immediately notice him staring at the both of you angrily as per usual and he leans forward grabbing Lo’aks chin tilting it managing to withhold a wince seeing the purple already begin to develop. 

“Lo’ak, go and see your grandmother and get patched up.” He commands and you instantly shrink hearing the roughness in his tone and Lo’ak does so without a fuss, angrily stomping out passing his other siblings and mother.

“Lo’ak!? Why do you bleed?” You hear Neteyam jab at him and know without a doubt that your twin immediately stuck his middle finger in the air. 

You go to the corner grabbing your brush angrily and sit down your arms wrapping around your legs which are pulled up to your chest whilst you continue to look out, admiring the view of rocks that had been blessed in your sight. 

Jake sighs before moving towards you and sitting down crossing his legs and staring at you with a soft sigh. 

“Babygirl, we’ve talked about you and Lo’ak fighting in the house.” You look up angrily and huff with a pout on your face. The same one you used to where whenever Jake would make you take a bath when you didnt want to when you were younger, which normally meant that he would need to make a good point to get his reasoning across. 

“Dad I don’t understand! How can you just listen to Lo’ak bully me and do nothing! You always raised me to always defend myself!” You grumble and one of Jake’s points immediately goes flying out the window. 

“Babygirl, one day your brother is gonna realise how to grow up. These experiences are going to be the reason as to what makes him a real man, and sadly they will raise you. You both are one of the same, you truly have one another. You are both different flavours of the same cookie. And one day, neither me or your mother will be here. You have to learn how to hold your own ground my love, and both you and that knucklehead of a brother of yours will be appreciative that we let you do it this way. I promise.” You don’t say anything thinking over his words and he watches you with a soft look in his eyes. He immediately grins and grabs you, throwing you into his body while he kisses all over your face and you gag trying desperately to shove his face from yours laughing and desperately trying to arch away from his hands that are now tickling at your sides. 

“Dad! Stop! I’ll pee my pants!” You cry out and he stops seeing your grin and he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your head. 

“Go talk to your brother.” He nods his head in the direction of your twin and you smile pressing a kiss to his cheek. Heading off running off you run into your mother who glares slightly at you while you duck your head and run off. She heads into her home and goes to your Father who sighs and wraps his arms around her waist digging his face in her stomach. 

“You did well ma Jake.” She praises and he grumbles pressing kisses to Neytit’s waist. 

“No more kids.” He looks at her pleadingly. She smirks knowing how he used to beg for them even after Tuk was born. 

“No more.” She states while placing a loving kiss to his forehead. 

“LO’AK!!!”

[7s3ven]

UNBEARABLE. connor stoll (pjo)

( master list )

IN WHICH… Connor Stoll finds enjoyment on pulling all sorts of pranks on Y/N L/N, the charming daughter of Aphrodite. It isn't until he catches her in a moment of weakness that he begins to sympathize with her.

A/N : I kinda feel like I’m carrying the PJO fandom on my back with all these fics lol. Also, people said I could be cast as Drew from PJO. Y’all should ask for my insta so you can confirm me as Drew 😽

Warnings : not following plot, luke is still here bc I adore him, mentions of luke x y/n here and there (Y/N’s an Aphrodite kid, ofc she’s kissed multiple people 😭)

—

A shrill scream pierced the peaceful silence of Camp Half-Blood, waking up most of its campers. Connor Stoll creeped around the corner with a cheeky grin, holding an empty bucket of pink paint. A moment later, Y/N L/N and Silena Beauregard stormed out of the Aphrodite cabin, covered from head to toe in paint.

"I'm going to kill him!" Y/N shouted, eyebrows furrowed in fury. The paint dripped off her body, staining the green grass below. She scoffed.

The Stoll brothers, more specifically Connor, were at it again with their never-ending pranks. Ever since Y/N arrived at camp, she had been the main victim of Connor's tricks. And she hated it.

"Are you okay?" Y/N asked Silena, all of her anger suddenly simmering away once she looked at her sister. Silena nodded, combing the dried paint out of her black hair. Y/N looked over her shoulder, locking eyes with Travis Stoll. She fumed as she quickly strutted towards the elder brother.

"You," She sternly pointed at Travis and poked his chest, "Get your brother under control before I do it myself!"

Travis lifted his arms in surrender, teasingly grinning. “I think he’d like that.”

"Just make him stop! I am sick and tired of being covered in paint when I wake up! Honestly!" Y/N groaned as she stormed back towards her cabin, ushering Silena inside so they could wash up.

Y/N clicked her tongue as she scrubbed the drying paint off her face. Silena was beside her, drying her now clean face with a warm towel. "I can't stand this any longer." She mumbled, running a brush through her hair. She peeled a patch of paint off, scowling in disgust. "Do you think the paint will harm my skin barrier?"

"Oh, absolutely." Silena quickly nodded her head, "We need to do face masks tonight."

Y/N was getting sick of all the pranks that seemed to target her and only her. "Hey, Y/N, we're gonna get breakfast. You wanna come with?" One of her other siblings poked her head around the corner, in the process of changing into a pink shirt.

"Oh, yeah. I'm coming." Y/N flashed Silena a bright smile before joining the other Aphrodite kids.

"Hey, Y/N, don't you think that Connor is kinda cute?" One of the girls nudged her as Y/N tucked herself between Momona and Jacob. Y/N glanced at Connor, frowning.

"No." She scoffed, something she did often whenever Connor was around. "He keeps pulling pranks on me. I can't even see him half of the time because my eyes are always covered in paint."

“She has a point.” Vivviene said, causing Y/N to frown.

“Of course I do. I’m always right.”

Her siblings laughed, throwing their heads back. “Yeah, right!” Jacob exclaimed, “What about that time you said Luke wasn’t guarding the flag and you were wrong? Because he was and he whooped your ass badly!”

Y/N pushed Jacob, playfully scoffing. “It was one mistake! And I landed a few good shots! He got stuck in the infirmary for a week."

“Yeah. And you were with him because of his beating! The Apollo kids found you making out a few times!” Jacob slung an arm around her shoulder, bellowing out another laugh.

Y/N accidently caught Connor's eye from across the room and her smile faltered. She quickly turned her head, the image of her reflection covered in paint engraved in her mind.

She still had paint stuck under her nails and she picked at it. "I'm getting fed up with him." She mumbled, causing her siblings to groan. Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes. "What?"

"You always talk about him at meals." Jacob said.

"In fact, you're always talking about him. Period." Momona added.

“What if I’m not talking about Connor?” Y/N asked, unknowingly falling into her siblings trap.

"We never mentioned a name.” Vivviene pointed out. Y/N groaned, running a hand through her soft hair. “Maybe he keeps pulling these pranks because he likes you." Vivviene shrugged before eating another spoonful of her food, not noticing how everybody turned their heads to stare wildly at her.

"Excuse me?" Y/N almost choked. "He does not like me. If he did, I don't think he'd be annoying me so much. But I guess boys are naturally annoying." Jacob pursed his lips but nodded in agreement. "Anyway, I have to help some kids with archery practice. I will see all of you later." Y/N grinned at her siblings, teasingly tapping Momona on the nose.

"Oh, great. Tell them to duck when you shoot." Jacob teased.

Y/N rolled her eyes but she still smiled. "Well, I'm off. Bye!" She stood up, gracefully walking away. The kids in the arena seemed to light up as she made her presence known. "Hey kids, great to see you all again! Y'all ready to learn some archery?" The young demigods cheered, excited for their next lesson with the Aphrodite cabin leader instead of the harsh Clarisse.

"So, you just pull the arrow back. As far as you can," Y/N uttered, showing the kids a demonstration. "And once you've got it as far as you can, you just shoot." She let the arrow go, watching as it spiraled through the air and hit bullseye. With that sort of aim, she may as well be an Apollo kid.

The kids clapped while she outstretched her arms, enjoying the applause. "Thank you!" She playfully bowed. "Okay, bows out, arrows ready, and shoot your shot! Quite literally. Aim for the targets over there, not at each other."

The children excitedly grabbed a bow and arrow, trying their best to impress to Y/N. Even if they missed completely, she still clapped and gave them an encouraging pat on the back.

"Great training session guys! I'll see y'all tomorrow!" Y/N waved goodbye to the small group. She was cheerful until she spotted Connor in the distance, conversing with Travis and holding yet another can of paint. She clenched her jaw.

"Connor Stoll, don't you dare use that paint for anything relating to my cabin!" She stormed towards him, sternly pointing at him.

"We weren't planning to but now that you say it, we might." Connor cheekily grinned while Y/N glared at him.

"Stoll, you know I adore everybody in this world... but you are an exception. I loathe you." She poked his chest, "Now, please get rid of the paint in that can."

Connor shrugged. "Okay." He, without a second thought, poured it all over Y/N. For the second time today. She gasped, glowering at Connor.

"You are dead." She said through clenched teeth. "Dead, you nitwit!" She threw a lump of paint at him, hitting him directly in the face. “Honestly.” She scoffed, shaking the paint off. “My skin is going to break out soon and you’ll be to blame!”

She slapped a paint-covered hand on his shoulder before walking off, muttering to herself as she glared at any camper who dared to laugh at her.

“Well, that went smoothly.” Travis said, taking a peek at Connor. “Maybe covering a girl in paint isn’t the best way to woo her.”

“Luke told me it was.”

Travis clicked his tongue, resting a heavy hand on his brother’s back. “… He was messing with you.”

Connor wasn’t a complicated boy. He loved playing pranks but lately Y/N’s reactions had been getting less rewarding. She looked at him like he was the bane of her existence, which he probably was. But how else was he supposed to get her attention?

Without the constant tricks, Y/N would have only ever seen him as another Hermes boy, not worth remembering because her eyes were always on another.

Luke, with his brown-curled hair and a faint scar that ran down his pretty face yet it only elevated his beauty. Connor was pretty sure whatever chemistry and romance between them was done but Luke still snuck glances at Y/N from time to time.

If he was being honest, Connor was a little jealous of his brother. What was his secret to getting Y/N to notice him? Sure, Luke was good-looking but Connor wasn’t lacking in that department either.

"You'll think of something to grab her attention." Travis reassured his brother, nudging him in the ribs, "My advice... plan a picnic. Who knows, it might get you somewhere." The elder Stoll brother tilted his head back, letting out an amused laugh, as he walked away.

Connor clicked his tongue, thinking for a moment. His eyes lit up with mischief as an idea popped into his head. He couldn't guarantee that it was a good one but it's Connor Stoll we're talking about. Y/N woke up with a surprised look on her face. Paint wasn't splattering around her cabin and everybody was sleeping peacefully, not awoken by shrill screams. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. It seemed Connor had finally decided to leave her alone.

She stood up, shivering slightly when her bare feet hit the cold tiles below. She sleepily staggered over to her vanity mirror, peering into it to check her skin as she did everyday. Her appearance was spot on, as usual, except for one thing that made Y/N lose her mind.

Her hair... was pink. It wasn't an ugly type of neon pink but gone were her H/C locks. Y/N tried to hold back a sharp screech but the panic was beginning to set in.

Her half-siblings woke up in alarm.

"My hair..." Y/N seethed to them, barely able to contain her fury, "That little..." She couldn't even find an appropriate insult as her body trembled in anger.

"I'm sure we can wash it out." Silena rushed to Y/N's aid. "It's still early. I'll draw you a bath and we can scrub it out."

Silena was wrong. Two bottles of shampoo later, the color was still vivid.

"I can't go out like this." Y/N said, tugging at the ends of her hair. "They'll laugh at me... and mother, oh gods... she's going to hate me for changing my hair."

"It’s not your fault." Silena comforted her. “I’ll talk to Connor. I’ll make him tell me how to get rid of it. Then we can fix it. Okay?”

Y/N slowly nodded. “This is fine.” She muttered to herself when Silena was long gone. She applied a thin layer of gloss to her lips, soothing herself. “Mother won’t hate you because it was all his doing…” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she looked at her reflection for a second time, she felt her anger flare up again.

As an Aphrodite kid, her appearance was everything. It was her identity and more. "What about personality?" Other campers would ask her and she'd simply laugh. What about beauty? The first thing people will see is how you carry yourself, how you walk, how you look. Personality had nothing to do with first impressions.

Y/N was a beauty among the Aphrodite girls, standing out more than she should. She had always been her mother's favorite. Without her carefully styled H/C hair, who was she? Her hair was an important detail to her and she didn't know what to do now. Would people still love her as they did before? Without her outstanding looks, she was nothing.

Y/N slipped out of her cabin via the window. Everybody was at breakfast so it wasn't hard to avoid people from seeing her hair. Y/N was supposed to be teaching archery again today but she'd rather battle a hellhound than show up with pink hair.

She wandered around the forest, eventually finding herself in front of a small river. A few nymphs sat near the water, giggling together. They spotted Y/N and all gasped in unison, scrambling away except for one who was brave enough to stay.

"I like your hair." She shyly said, coyly kicking her leg into the water. She charmingly smiled before hurrying off after her friends, who laughed at timid behavior.

Y/N fell to her knees in front of the river, staring mindlessly at the cool liquid. She wondered what it found feel like to dunk her head beneath the water, an action she saw the nymphs do quite often.

She didn't know how much time had passed. Maybe it was minutes or hours but Y/N found herself sprawled on a warm rock, basking in the sun. She heard footsteps approach her and she hoped it was Silena. It wasn't. It was Connor instead.

"Oh." Y/N deadpanned, displeased to see him. "It's you." She deeply scowled, turning away.

"You, uh, weren't at breakfast." Connor kicked a nearby rock as he cleared his throat, "And the archery kids were wondering where you were too. Luke had to take over and he may be the best swordsman but he's far from the best archer. He kept missing the target."

Y/N let out a small huff of amusement. "What are you doing here, Connor?" That was the first time she had called him by his first name. She often referred to him as Stoll.

"I wanted to check up on you. Are you... okay?"

"No, Connor, I am not okay!" Y/N suddenly snapped, "Why can't you ever leave me alone? Did I do something to hurt you? I could deal fine with the paint and water buckets but my hair? You dyed my hair pink! My mother loved my H/C hair and now you've ruined it!"

"It won't last forever." Connor retorted, taking a step towards Y/N.

"That doesn't matter!” She screamed, standing up. “My looks are important to me, Connor! I can't pull off pink hair, it doesn't match my skin undertone! I need to be perfect otherwise my mother won’t love me!”

"You can pull anything off, Y/N. You're pretty."

Y/N's eyes momentarily softened as she gazed at him, her cheeks flushing a light hue of pink. "You think I'm pretty? Even... even with messy pink hair, smudged mascara, and fading eyeliner?"

"I think you're always pretty." He answered, “Even when you do those heatless curls that make you look silly. And I think you’re the prettiest when you aren’t trying.”

“Don’t think your compliments will get you off the hook.” Y/N warned, glaring at him.

“Will a star-gazing date at seven get me off the hook?” Connor asked, mischievously grinning.

In turn, Y/N narrowed her eyes. “Maybe.” She uttered before turning around and walking back to camp, concealing her pink hair once more.

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[serverusslaype]

Shameless, pt. 7

snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

omg hi guys… this chapter was so long and hard to write (that’s what she said), I got stuck many times, but here it is!! It’s definitely not my favourite chapter so.. it was sort of a filler one, just to establish some information and plot sort of thing. The next chapter will be a little more interesting because we will be starting Prisoner of Azkaban woooo!!

Okay. So here is part 7, don’t kill me. It’s kinda long again, almost as long as part 5, if not longer!!

LETSAGOOO!!

The crack in your curtains caused a stream of bright, blinding sunlight to stir you awake; a raspy and throaty groan bubbling in your throat as the pounding pain of an alcohol-induced headache began to stab at your temples. Nothing better than a hangover, right?

Another strangled groan left your lips as you rolled over in your bed, your arm falling out from underneath the covers. As quick as lightning, you tucked it back in once the cool and chilly breeze began to nip at it. You cracked open your eyes, noticing that you'd left your window open during the night, and you'd hardly even bothered to draw your curtains properly. You slapped your hands against your face as you tried to wrack your brain for any indication as to how the hell you ended up like this. Gods, did you get blackout drunk? It certainly felt like it...

A stab of pain struck your chest as you remembered Snape ordering you to get out of his office late yesterday afternoon. You quickly skipped past that memory with a soft yet strained sigh and found yourself with Hagrid in a forest. Ah yes, you went to go see Buckbeak after bumping into the groundskeeper. You continued to think back, soon finding the culprit of your hangover. In your mind, you were currently sat in Hagrid's hut, your fingers wrapped tightly around a goblet of Elven wine.

Oh, yes, you thought, wincing slightly as the memory of the two of you drinking at least two, possibly three, bottles of it together. You unwillingly sat up in your very messy bed, your hair sticking out in all sorts of directions. You groaned again, squeezing your eyes shut as you slipped out of it and stumbled towards your window and braced yourself for a moment before ripping them open.

"Fuck!" You croaked out, stumbling back as the blinding light broke through. It was like someone had just chucked a flashbang grenade in your room. Your eyes burned and you felt like shoving your head down a very dark hole. Wait, what time was it?

Quickly throwing a glance to your right and checking the clock on your wall, you sighed in slight relief, noticing it was around ten in the morning. Perhaps it was time to go for a walk to clear your head - more to subside the throbbing that was currently attacking it.

Strolling down the corridors, you were rather keen to get outside and breathe in the fresh air; the thought of it made your body tingle. Considering it was Winter break now, you had opted to wear a casual, below-the-knee dress. It was a deep forest green, almost emerald. The sleeves reached your wrists and it had an elegant and square neckline that showed off your collarbones. The skirt was circular, so, if and when you twirled around, the skirt would flare outwards.

Nearing the corner, your eyes flicked to a darker, unlit corridor, a rush of unpinpointable dread suddenly surging through your body. You immediately stopped in your tracks at the uncomfortable feeling and turned towards it, narrowing your eyes. You couldn't figure out why your body had reacted so unusually to the darkened corridor. You stared for a few more moments before walking away, glancing at it confusedly as you passed by. It was probably just your hangover-induced anxiety making things up in your head.

As you rounded the corner that would take you to the stairs down to the ground floor, your eyes were immediately met with a dark, harrowing pair that you had come to adore - regretfully, might you add. You froze in your spot, unsure of what to do or say. It felt like someone had just cast Petrificus Totalus on your body. You swallowed harshly as Snape's eyes stared back at you, obviously in the same predicament. Neither of you said anything. In all honesty, you were too hungover to deal with this.

It felt like someone had stolen the air from Severus's lungs the moment he laid his eyes on your tired form. Seeing you dressed in such a beautiful, elegant emerald dress made it hard for him to breathe normally. Last night, when you tried to kiss him, that didn't make it any easier on him. It took all of his strength to step away from you. He wanted to kiss you, obviously, but he didn't want it to happen like that. Not that it could, anyway. With Snape's vast, traumatic and dangerous history, he couldn't put you in harms way because of his emotions. He wouldn't allow it. He couldn't bear to see you die, you didn't deserve that, and he didn't deserve you.

As another several seconds of silence passed, Snape seemed to ground himself. His posture straightened, and he resumed his dramatic walk to continue stepping past you. He pushed his distracting thoughts of you to the side of his mind, his eyes tearing away from you and staring straight ahead as if he hadn't just spent the past couple of seconds staring at you like you were the most beautiful being he'd ever laid his godforsaken eyes on. In fact, he acted like you were never there at all. As he passed right by you, your lips twitched and your eyes began to burn again. Gods, you hated how easily he could influence your emotions with a singular action. You stood still in your place, balling your fists in an act of silent rage, sucking in a shaky breath with a muffled sob; your teeth biting down unbearably hard on your bottom lip in a weak attempt to hide your cries.

You were suddenly wishing you'd never returned to Hogwarts, even though it was your lifelong dream the second you walked through those doors. The only thought on your mind right now was Hagrid, and even then you were doubtful his happy energy could cheer you up. You thought it was also rather selfish to come running to the man the second you were in tears. He wasn't your stuffed animal that you cried into each night. However, you could really do with his presence right now, so you pushed those thoughts aside, for now.

So, there you were, rushing off down the stairs; the clacking of your heels echoing throughout the stairwell like a choir singing in an empty cathedral. You found yourself running the second you reached the outside, your lungs burning from the way you were breathing so raggedly. The cold breeze had never felt so good against your skin, and you dared to say it felt more comforting than when Snape had taken your hand when you offered him a dance in his office two nights ago.

Tears were freely flowing down your cheeks now, your fingers flying up to wipe them away in an aggressive, careless fashion. Hagrid's hut was coming into view as you continued to run across the dull green grass, specks of wet mud and soil painting your shoes and ankles. As you reached the crookedly built hut, you slowed down and bent over with your hands on your knees, waiting for a moment to catch your breath. Perhaps some more exercise would do you good.

Suddenly, you heard the creaking of Hagrid's door opening. "Oh, 'ello, Y/N," Hagrid said happily, a surprised smile painting his face as he stared down at you. Though, he quickly noticed you weren't okay. "Are ya cryin' again?..." He questioned softly, noticing the way you slowly leant upwards, your eyes puffy and red once again. Hagrid looked at you with such sympathetic eyes that you were worried he was going to set you off crying again.

"No," you lied as your voice broke and went up an octave, your fingers rushing up to grab the bridge of your nose. "...Yes." A frustrated sigh left your lips.

"D'ya wanna talk abou' it?" Hagrid asked cautiously, his eyes searching you for an answer. You hesitated for moment, debating whether to pour your heart out to him - to tell him how much grief Severus Snape, of all people, was causing you. He wouldn't believe you for a second.

"Err, I don't think you'd believe me." You laughed dryly, your heart twisting into a conflicted knot as you thought about the raven-haired Potion Master.

"Try me." Hagrid tilted his head at you gently. You scrunched your nose up at him and swallowed. This was going to be a long and tiresome conversation.

That was the last day that you could remember running to Hagrid in tears, which was around a week ago now. You'd told him as much as you could without making yourself seem like a complete fool, however, you weren't exactly convinced - despite Hagrid's multiple promises - that he didn't view you as one now. Having feelings for the most emotionally inept, cold and ruthless wizard at Hogwarts was not an easy feat, and you wished things were different for you. Perhaps if you were a tough, brave Gryffindor or a sly, witty Slytherin, you'd be able to handle it. However, your little Hufflepuff heart was at the end of it's tether and Snape's nonchalant and cruel words were starting to chip away at the walls you'd built around it to protect it from even more harm.

You were a little late to dinner this evening, and so you didn't have much of a choice in seating. The last chair available was the one next to Snape, and you were incredibly tempted to just leave it for the night, however, your stomach was gurgling like a mad baby as you had skipped lunch earlier to catch up on some grading. You pursed your lips and silently cursed yourself for such a silly choice. Biting down on the bullet, you sucked in a deep breath. With one foot forwards, you began to pad towards the empty chair, placing your hand on the back of it to draw it outwards, purposefully creating an ear-piercing screeching noise to piss off Snape. It undoubtedly worked, as a whirl of petty pride settled in your bones as his head snapped up to look at you, his eyes piercing you with a deadly glare.

"Apologies," You said in a low tone, a hint of sarcasm in your voice. You sat yourself down, not bothering to look at him.

"Perhaps you should be sitting with the students," Snape said bitterly, glancing to the tables in front of you, "considering you're willing to act so childish." There was a bite at the end of his words, his voice spiked with irritation.

"I think you'd suit them better, Severus." You replied, gritting your teeth, still avoiding his eyes.

"You must be deluded to think that." He scoffed at you, his lips turning downwards into a cruel sneer.

"Going to tell me to leave again?" You bit back at him. Snape's head snapped towards you again. Clearly that comment got underneath his skin.

"Going to barge into my office again, when you were clearly unwanted and unwelcome?" Snape's lip twitched as he stared at you, his deep, cold voice penetrating you like a spear. It was your turn to be hurt. You felt your heart twist and your eyes burn at his words.

You let your eyes fall to your hands for a moment, wallowing in your hurt. You swallowed the growing lump in your throat, and spoke once more.

"I pity you." Was all you said, voice quiet and timid. In your head, you were trying to win the unwavering war against the tears forming in your eyes. Gods, you loathed how emotional you were sometimes. Wouldn't life be so much fucking easier if you were a sociopath? Psychopath, maybe? You suddenly found yourself envying the unfeeling and socially-detached dark witches and wizards that caused havoc amongst the wizarding world.

No, life would probably be easier if weren't so hung up on such a cold-blooded man.

"That is rather comical," Snape said, a sarcastic smile on his lips. "Do you remember that night I found you inebriated in the corridors?" You turned towards him, that familiar rush of butterflies exploding in your stomach as your eyes met his for the first time tonight. You hated and loved the feeling. It was like a drug to you, a highly illegal one at that.

You were quiet, a blush burning into your cheeks as you and Severus continued to stare into each other's eyes, silently playing a game of Chicken. Snape stared at you, scrutinising you. His taunting tone had caught your attention, and it scared you. Had you done something so stupid that night to force him into pretending like you didn't exist again?

"Of course you don't." He sneered at your lack of an answer, his unbrushed hair falling to the left a tad as he tilted his head at you in a condescending fashion. "Too busy indulging in your own selfish pleasures with that gigantic oaf that dwells with the creatures in the Forbidden Forest. Fitting, really, wouldn't you say?"

Your mouth fell open at the way he'd insulted Hagrid, and you really could not believe what you had just heard. "Excuse me?" You scoffed.

"Need I repeat myself?" Snape grunted, his fingers flying up to massage the bridge of his nose in irritation. Your brows furrowed in utter confusion and partial anger at him. You'd let him insult you, but insulting anyone else that you held dear to you was crossing the line.

"Why must you be so rude and horrible at times, Severus? You were so different in your office that night," you sighed exasperatedly, "You were a totally different person." You added quietly, your voice soft. Snape shut his eyes for a couple seconds, his brows slowly furrowing together, silently fending off his emotions that were dying to break through.

"That night was a mistake. You never should have come." Snape spat. Your eyes widened in shock at his words, and you could almost hear the crack that split your heart in two. Did he really just say that to your face? He really... felt that way? That night when the two of you crossed a line, he thought it was a mistake, something to forget about; to dismiss like it was nothing. How could he possibly think that? You saw the way he looked at you, and you had been sure that there was something more between the two of you. The way he held you so softly and tenderly had almost cemented it for you. And now he was saying it wasn't real.

"Don't say that." You clenched your jaw, biting back your emotions. "That night meant something to me, even if you told me to leave prematurely."

"That's a pity, then, Y/N, because it did not mean anything to me." Snape hissed at you. He was mocking you and his voice grew colder and more ruthless by the second. Something changed within him, and it was breaking your heart. The two of you had been fine before that night- fuck, was this your fault? Your chest tightened at his knife-like words and you felt like crying again.

"That's not true." You said softly, grasping at straws to keep your emotions in check.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Severus seethed. He looked furious now. His eyes were merciless, and the dent between his brows had deepened tremendously as he frowned at you. As you stared at him, you saw no flicker of a feeling nor emotion on his face. He was cold. Unmoving. Maybe he had just accepted your hand that night to appease you. Merlin, did he do that out of pity? Another wave of anger and embarrassment seeped into your balled fists.

You didn't reply, you didn't even want to give him the time of day after that conversation. That seemed to have settled it for you. Snape did not feel the same way as you did for him, and you needed to move on. You were only going to cause yourself more hurt if you didn't.

The first day of Spring at Hogwarts had finally sprung, and the grass had shifted from a dull green to a rather vibrant green. Beautiful shoots of pastel-coloured flowers began to appear along the pathways to and from the castle, painting the once dreary-looking area bright. As much as you thought the season of Winter could be beautiful at times, nothing compared to Spring. You adored the flowers that bloomed, and the influx of little insects and creatures that began to buzz busily around the fauna. On the way back to your classes, you'd found yourself bending down to sniff the greenery; a pleasant, soft floral fragrance filling your nose and heart with joy. If you hadn't been able to become a Herbologist, a Florist would have been your second choice for sure. Plants, flowers and anything herby made you happy.

Currently, you were hurrying yourself back to the greenhouse, and you were running a little late after having a pleasant conversation with Minerva in the hallway. You reached the greenhouse just in time, albeit a little out of breath after running to make up the time lost.

"Sorry I'm a little late," You announced to the class, panting and smiling a little apologetically. "How is everyone today?" You asked, standing in front of the table that you had fallen asleep on all those months ago whilst tending to the Mandrakes. Your stomach tied itself into an anxious knot as memories of you and Snape in his classroom brewing the Mandrake Restorative Draught began to replay like a broken record within your mind. It was a bittersweet feeling, and you were rather unhappy at the reaction your body was having to the thought of him.

A chorus of 'good' and 'okay' broke through the silence, and you nodded softly, your smile widening as you glanced at the students. "Lovely," you said, sighing, "So-"

"Professor, why is there a note from Professor Snape here?" Draco Malfoy voiced inquisitively, holding up a piece of parchment. As Draco spoke his name, your stomach dropped. The sunlight shone through it, revealing Severus's ridiculously neat handwriting, sending a knife through your heart. You clenched your jaw and paused for a moment. Why did he have to be everywhere you looked? Everything was tainted with him, and you hated it.

"Erm," You stumbled. Blinking rapidly, you walked over to where Draco was and took it from his pinched fingers, your eyes scanning over the piece of paper repeatedly.

'Y/N,

Keeping to my promise, I've left this note to let you know that I have kindly borrowed an ounce of aconite.

Severus.'

Your breathing hitched at the sight, and it suddenly felt like you could either faint, or scream; you could not tell. You didn't believe he would truly remember your request all that time ago, yet here you were, reading that exact thing. The two of you hadn't spoken much - barely, if anything - and you thought you'd healed from this fucking mess. Clearly, from your body's reaction, that was a delusional lie that you had wholeheartedly believed. Your fingers and toes were tingling with pins and needles and it was sending you into a frenzy.

"Professor?" Draco's curious, yet worried voice pulled you from your thoughts. You glanced up at the boy, a blank expression on your face.

"Yes?"

"What's Professor Snape doing leaving you little love notes?" He quipped teasingly, an amused glint twinkling in his blue eyes.

"Excuse me?" You said quietly, in complete disbelief that he had just uttered those words.

"Well, it seems a little perso-" You cut him off before he could finish.

"Detention, Malfoy," You interrupted him, physically unable to hear more about it. The whole class was now staring at you, and you could feel your heart start to beat faster once more; a sign of anxiety. This was very out of character for you, and they all knew it. Something wasn't right. "This evening."

Almost immediately, Draco scoffed at your announcement, clearly stating his disagreement with it. "What, why?!"

"Do not push me today, Mr Malfoy." You said sternly and Malfoy silenced himself, a little shocked at your unusual authoritative tone. You looked back down at the note in your hand, your eyes tracing over every letter that Snape had elegantly scribed. Some of the students had silently deduced that your change in persona was perhaps to do with Snape.

Gods, you could not believe this. Who does he think he is to suddenly start leaving notes? Why is he doing this now? You didn't need this, you didn't want this anymore, and yet he had dug up your feelings once more like a dead body at the graveyard. All those weeks thinking you were done feeling something for him was a lie.

You angrily shoved the note in a drawer to your left and sighed heavily, walking back to the head of the table. A look of shock had found itself on the faces of your class, and you instantly felt guilty. The thought of paying the Bat a visit slipped into your head, and it twisted your guts. You'd only tell him it wasn't necessary anymore to leave notes, but you were so persistent before about it, you'd only make yourself look like a weak fool, and that was one thing you were not going to do in front of Snape.

"I apologise, I'm just having a bad day." You mumbled, closing your eyes for a moment to recoup your brain. "If we could all just... behave well today, I'd really appreciate it. I'll even take back your detention, Mr Malfoy." You added, glancing at the platinum-haired boy. His eyes lit up at the sound of losing his detention you'd angrily assigned him.

"Alright, let's begin, shall we? You'll be learning about Fluxweed and it's properties and uses."

As time went on, more and more notes began to appear in your greenhouse. You and Snape hadn't spoken since that late Winter evening in the Great Hall when you were late to dinner. He'd clearly shown what he thought of you, so, you were completely confused as to why he was putting in the effort to leave all of these notes. If he hated you so much, wouldn't he just not tell you he'd taken things to further piss you off? You felt like he was doing it on purpose to torment you.

You'd let his notes pile up and gather dust in your drawer, some of them crumpled up when you'd lost your temper and broken down in tears in your greenhouse, upset and heartbroken by the tainted relationship you had with Snape. You wished things were not as they were. Gods, the pain that seared through you each time you locked eyes with the man was unbearable. Be it in the hallways, the corridors, or the Great Hall across the dining table, he'd truly broken you, whether it was intentional or unintentional. You were ruined.

Were you really that fucked up in the head that a man like him was the only man you desired so badly? Why couldn't you just move on from him? You'd begged and prayed to the gods above, day and night, to free you from his chains, but they didn't listen. Each long and tearful night, you wondered what you did to deserve this suffering. There was nothing quite fucking worse than unrequited love.

The thought of going to tell Snape to stop sending the notes and just to take what he wanted without telling you circled around in your mind almost twenty-four-seven hours a day. Each time you were about to do it, you'd back out. You couldn't backtrack like that, you dreaded the thought of him thinking you weak; that was one thing you would not do.

All verbal communication that was considered chit chat or small talk between you and Snape had ceased to exist by the time Summer rolled around. You had to distance yourself from him if you wanted to move on. You were hurting. Terribly. All you wanted to do was talk to him, or even just be around him, but it wasn't fair on you, let alone the fact that he probably didn't even want to talk to you anyway - the last words he spoke to you said it all. The only thing left that could be considered 'communication' between you two was the notes he'd scribble down each time he visited your greenhouse, and each time you found them, you found yourself numb to the pain that pricked at your skin each time your eyes skimmed over his stupidly perfect handwriting.

Not completely numb, but numb enough.

Tonight was the last night at Hogwarts until September. On one hand, you couldn't wait to leave and be free of your grief for a month and a half, and on the other hand, you were dreading it. Part of you was screaming at you to stay and fix things with Snape, and the other part was crying to you, telling you that you had to leave, and that it was true he felt nothing for you. You thought back to the beginning of the year when things weren't tainted and completely fucked. It was heart-wrenching to reminisce on those days. It almost brought you to tears thinking about the time you and Snape had got along during the Duelling Club, when he was almost beaming with pride after watching you dominate Lockhart. From then on, he was hooked with you, but you'd never know that.

For Snape, he was dreading the Summer without seeing you. He'd absolutely fucking hated the past few months. The only thing that kept him going through until the end of the year was seeing glimpses of you around the castle. If he was honest with himself, he deeply regretted kicking you out of his office that night. That was when it all went to shit. He'd fallen victim to his fear again, choosing the selfish, easy way out. Perhaps he'd be happy with you right at this current moment if he just let you stay. Perhaps he'd be kissing you right now, holding you impossibly close to his body, embracing you and breathing in your addicting scent. Perhaps the two of you would even be spending the Summer break together.

Merlin, how did he fuck up this bad? It was too late to take anything back now, that's what he thought, at least. He'd deemed your relationship dead, unrevivable. He'd truly messed up.

"At last, the school year has come to an end," Dumbledore's old, wise voice boomed through the Great Hall as he stood at his golden Owl Lecturn. All of the students and staff were listening intently. However, you found yourself looking at someone entirely different. "This year has been challenging for all, and I hope we can all take some well-learned lessons home with us for the Summer, to come back refreshed and ready for the next year here at Hogwarts." Was the last thing Dumbledore said before you zoned out into a daydream.

Your eyes were glued to Severus, lingering on his features that you'd grown to adore and loathe. You hated him at this current moment, but Merlin, you couldn't deny how handsome he was. The way his dark, black shoulder-length hair framed his long and pale face was like an art piece. You let your eyes travel down to his shoulders, your mind growing hazy and distracted as you began to think how it'd feel to touch him again, your fingers running through his hair as he pressed his lips against your neck, his hot breath tickling your sensitive and bare skin. You'd have your chest pressed flush against his as he worshipped your body with precise skill, working it like he'd known it for a thousand years.

On the other hand, you wanted to scream at him, curse him for the rest of his life, just for the cruel way he'd treated you during this year at Hogwarts.

Your provocative fantasy came to a crashing halt when Hagrid leant down to whisper in your ear.

"Yer starin', Y/N." He mumbled awkwardly, eyes still attached to Dumbledore. You blushed furiously, slightly embarrassed that Hagrid, of all people, had caught you mentally undressing and eye-fucking Snape. He was the one you had confided in the past months, so he knew how you felt about Severus - every single emotion.

Apart from one.

"Oh," You cleared your throat, reluctantly tearing your eyes away from the Potions Master. Deep down, you were unsure you'd ever fully move on from Severus, it just didn't feel... right.

"Thought ya hated 'im." Hagrid mumbled again, a hint of teasing in his tone, but he kept his voice low as Dumbledore spoke.

"I... it's complicated." You sighed quietly, taking a risk and glancing at Severus again. Your heart dropped slightly when he wasn't looking back at you. You shouldn't be surprised, nor disappointed. "I just can't wait to get out of here for the Summer."

And just like that, Dumbledore announced the end of the year. You couldn't help but smile the moment the Victorian house came into view as you Apparated from Hogsmeade to Windsor. Being back home at your humble abode in Berkshire sent a feeling of relief and peace through you. It almost felt like the past year's travesties hadn't even happened. When not teaching, you lived in a quaint cottage in the Windsor countryside. It was set down a quiet lane, overlooking the historic and iconic Windsor castle in the distance; a field of horses and summer flowers sat opposite it. It was rather dreamy, and you were incredibly thankful to your late grandmother for leaving it to you in her will. The house was built with red bricks, adorned with a pretty, white trim set around the triangular rooves. Vibrant green fauna decorated the edges of the large windows, almost framing it like a photograph.

Your favourite part of the house was the garden. It wasn't huge, but it wasn't small and it was perfect for just you. Bushes upon bushes of roses and lilies lined the edges, and your heart warmed at the sight of the bees buzzing around them all. With a strained sigh, you walked into the cottage, the familiar smell of candles and fresh lilies hitting your nose. It was a refreshing change from the usual dusty and musky smell of Hogwarts.

As you walked into your living room and dining room, you couldn't help but feel a little pang of sadness shoot through your chest. You'd imagined yourself here with Severus a couple of times, eating breakfast early in the morning, watching the sunrise as it gently woke the world up with it's warm, amber rays. And suddenly, all over again, you were a mess. You let yourself cry. You didn't hold them back, nor bottle them up. The fear of being caught had disappeared. You were alone.

As the tears rolled down your cheeks, your body began to feel hot; anger and frustration bubbling within your chest. Everything that you'd held to yourself at work was starting to crumble and fall, collapsing all around you like ash. Your eyes burned like a fire in a furnace as you squeezed them so tightly shut, silently begging for this pain to be over. You balled your fists, your nails leaving a painful imprint on your palms as you released them with a strangled gasp, your sobs becoming uncontrollable as your mind began to torture you with the memories of the past year.

'Have you no brain?' Taunted Snape, his lips curling into a disapproving sneer. You remember the way your heart beat pounded relentlessly as he leaned in towards you, his squinting eyes piercing you like a needle into a balloon.

'You are still that silly girl who did not think before she spoke.' He'd chastised, sending you into a small fit of rage.

'Lockhart came to me,' You'd said after he accused you of being nosy in other people's problems. 'Poor choice, clearly.' He'd replied bitterly, glaring down at you.

'Severus, you may call me Severus.' He said calmly, earning a surprised frown from you. The moment you broke through to him, and he'd finally accepted you as a colleague - nothing more, nothing less.

'Nicely done.' He'd muttered to you, his face proud but muted, as you'd defeated Lockhart in a duel. You were sure there was something else lingering in those eyes that day, but you could never put your finger on it.

'I wasn't the best student for you,' you'd laughed softly in his classroom, stirring the Mandrake Draught. 'No, but you weren't the worst.' Snape had replied with the faintest hint of a smile on his lips.

'Don't believe anything that gloomy bat says,' Madam Pomfrey's stern voice suddenly echoed in your mind.

You were thinking back to the moment you had caught Severus's eyes in the Great Hall when Dumbledore was acknowledging your tremendous help with the Mandrake Restorative Draught. He was gazing at you proudly, a small yet hesitant smile upon his lips.

Then, your most cherished memory with Snape flooded your mind. You felt more tears begin to pour from your puffy, reddened eyes as you reminisced in your living room.

'Dance with me?' You'd asked quietly amongst the hammering of your nervous heart, as the slow and melancholic rock song played softly in the background, holding out your hand for Snape to take a hold of. He'd taken your soft hand in his cold, calloused one, and you pulled him slowly to the middle of the room. You remembered how nervous yet happy you were, the way your eyes sparkled with silent joy as you stared up at Severus, his other hand settling safely on your waist. The two of you relished in each other's company, swaying slowly, side to side, gradually breaking down the highly impenetrable guard that he'd had up.

It broke your heart all over again, as his harsh, sudden words pierced your ears.

'Get out.' Snape had ordered, taking you by surprise.

You had been so close. So close to finally breaking into his walls, and at the last moment, he'd built them all up again, double the defences.

Tomorrow was a new day, and you'd deemed it a good time to take your mind off of everything. You needed to get out of your house. It was sending you into a fucking frenzy. So, you chose to Apparate to London - more specifically The Leaky Cauldron. Okay, it was a terrible idea, but you just needed to see other people - people you didn't know, and people that... Severus didn't know.

So here you were, standing outside of the pub, hesitant on entering. You were getting cold feet. Maybe you should just go to Diagon Alley instead, and browse the pretty shops filled with artifacts, wands, fresh smelling books and magical sweets. In all honesty, that sounded more enthralling than sitting in a dim pub, nursing a mug of whiskey.

As you were about to turn on your heel and head to Diagon Alley, a weirdly familiar voice called your name.

"Y/N?" You frowned, your head turning slightly to find the source. It was a man for sure, and it was ridiculously familiar. Shit, where have you heard that voice before? "Y/N L/N?"

You spun on your heels, your eyes almost popping out of your head as no one other than Benjamin fucking Bluewater stood in front of you. He wasn't that weaselly, little nuisance anymore. No, no, he'd grown. And grown like hell he had. He stood at least six feet tall, a five o'clock shadow peppering his rather well-defined jawline and mouth. His dark hair was no longer styled in an embarrassing bowl-cut, it was thick and pushed back, accentuating his strong forehead, and prominent cheekbones. You found yourself blushing whilst looking at him.

"Holy shit, Benjamin Bluewater?" You gasped, shaking your head lightly at him in disbelief. A million-dollar grin broke out on his face. Good lord, you thought, he'd really changed...

"The one and only." Bluewater chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets bashfully.

"You look... great." You were speechless. This could not be happening. Your heart was pounding so fast that you genuinely could not comprehend anything. Merlin, were you dreaming?

"As do you, Y/N." He grinned at you again, sending goosebumps up your arms. His eyes flicked from yours to the Leaky Cauldron behind you, and he gestured towards the pub with a nod. "It's been a long time, would you like to, err, grab a drink or something? It'd be nice to catch up." Benjamin smiled politely at you. Shit, what the hell, why the hell not? Fuck it.

"I'd love to." You returned his smile, shrugging your shoulders gently. Benjamin's smile grew into a grin as he placed a gentlemanly hand on the small of your back, guiding you into the pub.

"So, what's new with you, then?" Benjamin asked, his eyes flicking over your reddening face. You swallowed nervously, laughing.

"Erm, well, I'm working at Hogwarts as a professor." You replied nonchalantly as the two of you strolled to the bar area.

"Are the professors that taught us still there?" He asked curiously, showing genuine interest in what you were saying. It was nice for once. Severus was so scarce with that.

"Yes," You laughed lightly, though you winced slightly at Snape passed through your mind. "McGonagall, Flitwick, Dumbledore, Hagrid... all of them are still there." You avoided his name.

"Is that grumpy git Snape still there?" Bluewater questioned, his face twisting into a expression of distaste as he glanced at the barkeep. A small ripple of sadness washed over you, you knew Snape wasn't a favourite with the students, but he wasn't exactly a bad... no, no, he was a terrible person, you corrected yourself. We are no doing that right now.

"Yeah." You nodded, pursing your lips.

"He was a bastard, always had it out for me." Benjamin tutted. You winced a little at his words. You might have a tainted relationship with Snape, but you still cared deeply for him, and it hurt you when people spoke badly about him, no matter what he did.

"Well, I doubt your pranks did you any good." You quipped playfully, trying to lighten the mood. A mischievous grin spread across Benjamin's sculpted face. You felt your knees tingle.

"I was an arsehole in school, I'll admit that. I don't know how I survived Hogwarts, honestly." A hearty laugh left Benjamin's lips. "I bet it's a pain working with that schmuck." He added bitterly, ordering two bottles of cider for the two of you.

"Yeah," You laughed awkwardly, glancing away for a moment, tears pricking your eyes a tad. You hated how your heart ached at the way Benjamin insulted Severus. "He's... well, he's Snape, you know what he's like." You finished quickly, desperate to change the subject. "What are you up to now? Something fancy surely?"

"I wouldn't say fancy, I just work at the Ministry." Bluewater shrugged nonchalantly, taking a swig of his cider as he handed you the other bottle. "I'm the Junior Undersecretary." He said, staring at you, almost like he was waiting for a reaction. Your eyebrows raised a little at how casually he admitted that.

"Oh, really? Wow, that's... wow, I really did not expect that." You said honestly, a little shocked at his confession.

"You didn't expect that?" He repeated, laughing, taking another swig.

"Well, no, not after how you were in school, Benjamin!" You scoffed, grinning.

"Ben," he corrected you, smiling, "Benjamin is too formal. Feels like I'm talking to my mother." Another laugh left your lips. Well, his charming and comedic personality certainly hadn't changed, that was for sure.

"Alright, Ben," You smiled coyly, eyeing the small peek of skin poking out from his unbuttoned shirt. You flicked your eyes back up to him, and he tilted his head at you. "Being the Junior Undersecretary, does that mean you've met the Minister for Magic?"

"Only a couple times."

"What's he like?" You asked, sipping on your cider, prompting Ben to lean in towards you. Your breath hitched slightly at the sudden close proximity.

"Between you and me, a bit of a delusional man." He whispered, his brown eyes gazing a little too deep into yours. For a split second, you were transported back to the times you and Severus were at each other's throats in the corridors of Hogwarts. You cheeks flushed at the thought, and you quickly pushed it to the side, your body stiffening.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, the man's bound to go insane any day now, really. Think the job's taking a toll on him." Ben said, his eyes glancing around the pub, observing the hustle and bustle.

"Well, I wouldn't be surprised," You frowned. "That's a hell of a job."

"I'm sure it's nothing compared to being a professor at Hogwarts though?" Ben teased, making you roll your eyes.

"Very funny," You smiled, averting your eyes from him for a moment. "I mean, it's hard, but not impossibly hard. The grading takes a toll sometimes, but the rest of the time it's quite rewarding. Seeing your students learning from you, it feels like you've achieved something."

"Let me guess, Herbology?" He cocked a brow at you, another similar gesture that Severus did. Can he leave your mind for one day? Fuck.

"How did you guess?" You replied sarcastically, smiling.

"I don't know, but if my memory serves me well, you were rather gifted at the subject," Ben admitted, playing along with you. Your smile widened at his compliment. "And let's not forget that you were obsessed with all sorts of flowers, plants and herbs, carrying them with you everywhere you went!"

"Oh, gods, yeah..." Your cheeks reddened at the thought, slightly embarrassed at your younger antics. "At least I didn't go around planting stink bombs amongst other things in classrooms."

"At least I wasn't a Herbology nerd." Ben quipped playfully, inducing a gasp from you.

The two of you spoke for hours in the pub, until it reached around six in the evening. You'd totally lost track of time.

"It was lovely seeing you again, Ben." You smiled up at your old classmate, your eyes flicking between his blue ones. As much as he was attractive, you weren't sure there was a spark there, not like the one you'd felt with Severus.

"Likewise, Y/N," Ben replied, grinning handsomely at you. "Erm, do you think you'd like to see me again? Perhaps on... Friday? Seven o'clock?"

"Are you asking me out?" You chuckled incredulously, in slight disbelief. Ben's grin brightened as he stared down at you. Surely Benjamin 'the menace' Bluewater wasn't asking you out.

"Yeah, if that's okay. I'd always thought you were rather sweet." He said casually, making your cheeks burn. "I suppose it helps that you're absolutely stunning, too. Always a bonus."

"Aren't you a flirt?" You laughed lightly, considering his offer. You pondered for a moment. Maybe it'd be good to go on this date, maybe you'd see something in him. Maybe it would help with your whole... Snape situation. Maybe you'd actually heal. So you accepted it. "Sure, I'd like that. Send me an owl." You smiled softly up at him.

"Your address?"

"If it's meant to be, it'll find me." You grinned cheekily.

"Ahh, I see how it is!" Ben returned your grin, his cheeks a little merry and red from the alcohol the two of you'd consumed. You hummed flirtatiously in reply. "Well, it was a pleasure, Y/N. See you on Friday." He said, confidence clear in his tone. You cocked a challenging brow at him.

"Oh really?"

"Really." Ben nodded. He reached down and took your hand gently, pressing a soft kiss upon your knuckles to bid you goodnight; prompting your cheeks to pinken once more tonight. "Goodnight, Y/N." He let go of your hand, a soft laugh erupting from your lips.

"Goodnight, Ben." You smiled at him, watching him turn and walk away, disappearing into the night.

You weren't sure about this, but it felt good to have your mind on things - or someone other than Severus.

Part 8!

okkkk I hope you guys don’t kill me for the last part, ooooo. I thought it might be fun… ehehe

Thank you for reading, let me know what you think!! I can’t wait to start the next part, I’m so excited!! My brain is buzzing with ideas for Prisoner of Azkaban 😎 love you guys. don’t forget to sleep and eat 🖤

Taglist: (I hope I haven’t missed anyone)

@a-laufeyson

@emilynissangtr

@livillain00

@meowskii

@nooneeveryonenoone

@vesperbatty

@biggest-simp-eversposts

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@novas-dreamworld

[slvt4lanadelrey]

The Pretty Firefighter | part five | Tara Carpenter

Warnings: mature themes, inappropriate comments, swearing, possessive behaviours.

Tara was enjoying herself, Travis was an amazing friend to you and it was obvious. When the waiter came over, you shut down stuttering when it came to asking. Considering the fact Tara and you hadn't been to a restaurant before; both of you preferring to stay home, order take out instead. Travis was quick to answer for you, whispering to you and getting your order and telling the women on your behalf.

"Jesus. I made a complete fool of myself." You sank into your chair, slightly slipping away from Tara's embrace. She didn't say anything, knowing you needed comfort in the moment instead of accusing you of being cold around Travis.

"Its-" Tara tried to calm you down, but Travis stepped in.

"It's fine, Y/N. I bet they get a thousand people in here everyday with social anxiety, you don't need to beat yourself up over it." He smiled, taking a drink of his soda. Tara nodded, holding your hand under the table.

"You have anxiety?" Tara asked, embracing this side of you that you were yet to share with her.

"It's not that bad." You tried to apologise for your actions, having a need to be sorry for your less than perfect features for anything to do with public spaces, or how you interacted with people you weren't associated with.

"It's gotten a lot better, me and Anika are really proud of her." Travis commented, smiling calmly at the two girls.

Tara hummed, letting your hand fall to the seat.

"I bet you're just so proud of her." She rolled her eyes, sulking in the corner. Travis tilted his head, noticing the way Tara was glaring at him like he had just committed the most heinous crime to humanity.

"So, how did you two meet?" Tara's mood shifted within moments, more than happy to engage in a conversation about your relationship.

"At a party, the same one where Anika met Mindy, Mindy's actually my best friend too." You nodded, smiling into the room; the atmosphere shifted, no longer awkward but full of life.

"That's adorable." He chuckled, wanting to hear more. Whether it be your own delusions but you felt like Travis and Tara could be friends, they talked like they knew each other for many years.

"Y/N sat on the couch for all of the party, she was tucked away so I didn't see her until Mindy found Anika. Mindy told us to talk, so we did." Tara carried on, gushing about your relationship freely. Your leg bounced, smiling and nodding at everything she would say. She noticed the way your eyes darted between her and Travis, your nails slowly chipping away.

Tara's hand placed down on your thigh, smiling through her cup of soda that she sipped occasionally.

"Y/N's honestly the kindest girl I've ever met, she's a keeper, Tara—" Tara smiled at Travis, she was about to agree, claim you in public once again before he spoke up.

"Shame she never looked twice at me." You laughed, hissed slightly when Tara's hand squeezed your thigh. She gritted her teeth, her breathing beginning to stagger at the thought of the man in front of her sending you advances.

Once again, she was hit with the reality that you had only been her girlfriend for a few weeks, nearly two blissful months that were filled with nothing but developing love.

"Excuse me?" It slipped through her grinding teeth, her nose flared at Travis who smiled like nothing was wrong.

"Oh? Yeah, I had a huge crush on Y/N, like since the day I met her. But—I was just some dumb hook up to her." The air was pushed out of your lungs, the cola that was in your mouth being gulped down when you choked on it.

"Oh my god." You gasped out, watching as Tara glared like she could commit mass genocide.

"Funny. Travis, she never told me that, she told me you were her friend. Empathise on the just friends part" you sank down in your chair, looking ashamed at your lack of communication with your girlfriend.

You were a quiet girl, you weren't the type to name out of all of your hookups, especially the ones that you're still friends with. Call it humour, but you wouldn't kiss and tell. Anika only knew you and Tara had sex because Tara screamed it at her at the party, and again when Anika noticed thick hickeys across your neck a few days prior.

Your fingers grazed your neck, thinking about the hickeys made you remember the bruising ones that took you ages to cover up.

"Personally, I don't think being an ex hookup would make a good friend, guess you two are living proof." She hissed out, snarling like a wild animal defending its territory.

"I guess, but so are you guys." Tarvis replied, his tone level; which made Tara see red, how could he be so calm?

"Me and Y/N aren't friends, she's my girlfriend." Tara's hand clamped harder around your thigh, leaving a stinging feeling to tingle across your leg.

"He meant that, babe." Your hand rolled over her back, smiling at her in hopes to calm her sour mood. She nodded, smirking at you.

She leaned forward, to your great horror, putting on a show for anyone to stare at. Her tongue brushed into your mouth, holding you still as she literally flashed off what's hers.

After a painful amount of toxic femininity on Tara's side, her stating her almost ownership over you left you in a foul mood by the end of the night. The ride home was heaven, it was dead silent; only the late noon traffic, and the odd few people walking their dogs.

"Take me home, Tara." She looked away from the road, bit her lip at your hushed tone.

"I said I was sorry, come on." She pleaded with her baby browns, her hand not daring to touch your thigh this time in the car.

When you didn't answer her back she huffed out a breath, annoyed at you and the situation she forced on herself.

"I'm not an object, Tara. I'm a fucking person, not a piece of land!" You grew tired of the way she presented you. It was erotic, a huge turn on whenever she would be possessive. Now, it's just a toll on your health.

"I'm sorry, but he clearly likes you and you're my girlfriend." Tara sighed, looking over at you in sorrow. She was sorry, more than she let on.

"I don't care, Tara. It was so fucking embarrassing. You almost fucked me then and there in the middle of the restaurant." You shouted back, your anger physically radiating out of you. Your teeth grinded against each other, a sharp sound echoing through the empty car.

"Why wouldn't you tell me you had sex with him!" Tara shouted with a husk; silk to your ears under any other circumstance. the argument escalated; something that could have been resolved in a few conversations now drawn out wide.

"Are you really going to talk about questionable sex life's?" Your snarky comment had Tara raising her eyebrow, her jaw clenched.

"And what does that mean?"

"Frankie has a big mouth." Tara dropped her head, debating on whether to pull over so she could argue properly.

"Fuck me! I was drunk." She stated, acting like that wasn't the same predicament you were in with Travis.

"So was I, Tara!" She groaned, finally pulling into your apartment block. She stopped outside it, deciding against parking.

"Good night." You stammered out before slamming her car door. She didn't like the attitude, so, when you disappeared into your block, letting the door collide with the hinges as the steam gasped out of your ears, she drove into the car park and parked her car.

She ran into your apartment, slamming her fist into your door. When you opened it, eyes wide when they met Tara's, she brushed past you.

"I get I was being a bit too much, I understand why you wouldn't like to tell the world your mine. But the fact is, you're mine. You're my girlfriend, not Travis, not anyways else. That's how I function in a relationship, I want the relationship to be sacred and not shared. If my values don't align with yours, then we should break up." It was in the moment of anger, red hot striking through her. She didn't mean what she said, so when you shook your head and slammed your body onto herself she released a heavy sigh.

"I don't want that." You breathed out, holding her for dear life.

"My friends mean a lot to me, they're like my second family. Travis is a part of the fact, so you'll need to be less hostile with him." She thought for a moment, waging the pros and cons.

"Fine.—" she rolled the both of you onto the couch, tucking you down onto the soft surface.

"Okay, so that ban you set earlier…is it finally over?" She asked, settling above you. Her finger rolled down your front, teasing you with a smile.

"We just had our first ever argument, which almost ended with us breaking up, and your mind thinking about sex?" You laughed at her, pulling her hand away from your body.

"If it makes you feel better, I was thinking about sex during our argument. I was like, yes! Angry sex, which by the way is the best." She chuckled back, kissing your lips in a steady kiss, hot passion flicking within the girl above you.

"Nope. The ban is still valid." You pushed her away, pushing off the couch to grab the remote.

"But please!"

"But no."

Tara pouted, her eyes glimmering with sadness.

"But why?" She let out a high pitch whine, straddling your thighs before you could react.

"Tara, you literally man-handled me in the middle of a restaurant because I have a past—" her fingers ran up your neck, holding you still at the mention of Travis.

"So I have something to prove? Prove that I'm better than them?" It wasn't a challenge, you were not battling with her talents, but it was too entertaining to watch as Tara almost went to war all in order to assure everyone knew that you were her girlfriend.

She smirked down, already seeing the ocean of lust wash over your frame; tongue darting over your lips, fingers wrapping through her belt hoop.

"I could be swayed within reason."

[callsign-magnolia]

Undiagnosed // Ch. 5

Mature Content 18+

Jake Seresin x Neurodivergent OC

Summary: Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out.

Warnings: Emotional abuse, trauma response, abusive parents.

Word Count: 7.0k

Chapter 4 | Masterlist

After his apology, Jake was a little more eager to hang out with me while I study. His presence became calming almost. Any time Coop came in the room, one glare from Jake and he was turning around and leaving. It filled me with joy to see him running with his tail tucked between his legs. “Katie!” I whirled around in my seat to see Jake rushing over, a sly grin on his face. “What?” I asked and he motioned me to follow him. I stood, following him to the window where he yanked the blinds up. I never realized you could see the tarmac from here. “Okay… I see jets.” He laughed, pointing down towards the right corner. “Look down there.” I leaned over, looking and I saw two bodies by the jets, with another small body standing in front of them. I adjusted my glasses and realized it was Blake and Coop, with Maverick standing before them. Maverick’s mouth was moving but I obviously couldn’t hear anything. “Two hundred and fifty burpees. Mav is not taking this lightly.” I observed as they jumped in the air before dropping to the ground and going into a push up. “Why though?” I asked. “They screwed up. Left Bob and Phoenix to fend for themselves against Maverick. Then he got tone on them.” I nodded. “So you all have to do burpees if you mess up?” He shook his head. “No. Everyone else has to do two hundred pushups. It’s hard but not as hard as two hundred and fifty burpees.” I chuckled, watching them struggle. “I shouldn’t be laughing.” I said, turning back to the table. 

“I think you have every right to laugh.” He said as I sat down, looking up at him over the rim of my glasses. “What they did was wrong on so many levels. So go ahead and laugh at their pain.” I giggled at him as he sat across from me. He smiled and stared at me for a minute. “What?” I asked. “You wanna go out on Saturday?” My smile dropped as I looked at him. “Are you fucking serious? You have a fucking girlfriend.” He sat back, wide eyed and shaking his head. “No! No, no! Dammit.” He ran his hands down his face before taking a deep breath. “I meant, do you want to go out with the team and I on Saturday? We’re all going to the Hard Deck for drinks.” I let out the breath I was holding. “Sorry. I was just caught off guard. Um, I think my parents and I have plans this weekend.” He nodded and proceeded to help me study. “Medical law really is boring.” I nodded in agreement. “What would you be doing if you didn’t have to do this to please your parents?” I didn’t even have to think about it. “Nursing school. I’ve wanted to be a nurse since I was a little girl.” He smiled at me. “I think you’d be a good nurse.” I smiled at him. “Thanks. I’ve never had someone tell me they thought I’d be good at something.” 

“You mean, your parents never told you that they thought you’d be good at something?” I shook my head. “Well, my mom had me in pageants as a kid and my talent was usually gymnastics. She told me I was good at it, but then I went and broke my leg.” He chuckled as he leaned back in his seat, fingers tapping the table. “It’s not like you did it on purpose. How’d it happen?” I sighed, setting my pencil down. “My mom set up the little balance beam we had. She had placed the mats down next to it so if I fell I didn’t hurt myself. But she didn’t secure them and I messed up once so they shifted. I went into a back handspring and I went sideways. We’re still not completely sure how it happened but I snapped my femur in half.” He looked at me wide eyed. “How old were you?” I shrugged. “Seven I think. Mom yelled at me the entire ambulance ride and I was grounded for three months for ruining my chances at winning.” His jaw dropped. If this were a cartoon it would’ve broken through the table with the way he looked. “Wait, wait, wait. You mean to tell me that you snapped the strongest bone in your body at seven years old, and you were in trouble. You realize that’s technically her fault and not yours.” I sighed, shoulders dropping. “It’s in the past now, Jake. Let’s just drop it.” He could tell I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “You realize there’s a pattern right?” I nodded. “Is this how it’s been your whole childhood?” I huffed in anger, slamming my book shut. “Yes, are you happy? Is that what you wanted to hear?” I raised my voice as I stood. He stood as well, coming around the table and standing mere inches from me as he leaned one hand on the table. “No, darlin’. Of course not. I just-it’s wrong.”

My face flushed at the nickname, not used to being called anything other than Katie. I cleared my throat, stepping back from him as he looked at me in confusion. “I should get back to studying. I have my last exam before finals coming up.” He nodded, moving so I could sit back down and once again I buried my nose in my book. The air in the room changed after that and we went silent, only speaking when he left and told me goodbye. He bugged me on Saturday, asking if I was sure I couldn’t come out. It’s not because I didn’t want to. I’d love to go out with other people and have fun, but it’s just not something I’m able to do. But ever since then, every Friday and Saturday night I would get a text from Jake, asking the same thing.

Wanna join us for drinks tonight?

I had to explain that it wasn’t because I didn’t want to, but more on the lines of convincing my parents to let me out unsupervised. He of course sent the eye roll emoji but in the end told me he understood. But that didn’t deter him from asking. Which made me feel good, like maybe my answers hadn’t annoyed him to the point he just stopped trying. But I planted the bug in my parents ear after the first time he asked and for weeks I’ve been dropping hints. “Hey mom?” I asked, sitting her drink next to her as she read her book in the family room. “What?” She snapped. “While I was in class today-” “Speak up! God, Katie. When are you going to learn that no one can hear you when you mumble!” I took a step back as a reflex before clearing my throat. “While I was in class, Professor Dunlap mentioned that the Hard Deck was doing a true crime trivia night this next Saturday, and they’ll have a lot of law questions. So if I go, I can get extra credit.” She scoffed at my question and I started pulling on my thumbs behind my back, trying to keep myself calm. “It’s also supporting a local charity.” She looked up from her book, raising a brow at me. “What’s it for?” She asked and I had to bite back the smile that was growing on my face. “Childhood cancer.” My mother is always doing events for various charities but her biggest one is childhood cancer. It’s a good cause but mom does it solely to show people, ‘how giving we are.’ In reality she doesn’t care, it’s all about image, just like everything else in our lives. 

“You always say I should be more involved in charity, this would be good for me.” She seemed to think about it for a minute. “Let me discuss it with your father.” I nodded, turning and going up to my room where I felt like my chest was going to explode with excitement. For the next two weeks I’ve been kicking ass at studying, even allowing my parents to quiz me and showing them that I’ve done the work. I also went out of my way to do things without being asked, thinking maybe if I show some responsibility and maturity they’ll let me go. I was in the middle of studying when my mom came into my room Friday night. “What are you doing?” She asked. “I’m studying chapter thirty-six.” She raised a brow. “I thought you were on chapter thirty-three.” I nodded. “We are. But I finished it and I feel confident about it, so I worked ahead. Which means I’ve done the next two weeks' assignments.” She seemed impressed, looking around my room. “Your room needs a little work.” I nodded. “Yeah I need to wash my laundry and my bedding.” She nodded, turning to leave. “You need to dust and vacuum too. Your father and I were invited to a formal luncheon tomorrow and it’s just your father and I. We’ll have to leave you here… so if you can get this room straight, you can go to the Hard Deck.” She dipped out of the room after that and I grinned, excitedly reaching for my phone, shooting Jake a text. 

Got plans tomorrow night?

I buried my nose into my textbooks, working hard to keep my mind busy. But I kept picking up my phone, hoping he replied. After twenty minutes his reply came through.

Same plans as every weekend, darlin’. Why?

How would you feel about adding one more person to your plans?

I didn’t even have to wait for a reply, as if he sat there and stared at his phone, waiting. 

You’re not messing with me are you? This isn’t some cruel joke?

I had to cover my mouth to hold back my laugh, not wanting to alert my parents to anything.

No joke. My parents have plans and for some reason, they’ve allowed me to leave the house unsupervised.

Awesome, we’ll be there around seven!

I was so excited to go out! So much so I barely slept that night. The next morning I got up, stripping my bed and tossing everything into the washer. By twelve my parents left for their luncheon, giving me strict instructions on what I could and could not do. I was putting my sheets back on my bed when my phone rang. “Hello?” I asked, holding the phone between my cheek and shoulder. “Hey, darlin’.” The southern accent greeted me. “Hi, Jake.” I said, tucking my fitted sheet over the corner of my mattress. “You’re not gonna bail on us are you?” He asked and I giggled, shaking my head. “No. I just have a few things to do before I go.” He hummed. “Like what?” He asked. “Uh, I need to dry my comforter, wash and dry my clothes and put them away, then I need to clean my fish tank.” I could hear rustling on the other side. “How long is that gonna take?” I looked at the clock, seeing it said twelve-forty five. I did the math in my head. “About four and a half hours.” It went silent for a moment and I thought maybe the call dropped. “Jake?” I asked. “Four and a half hours for laundry and your fish tank?” I nodded. “Yeah, an hour to wash my clothes while my comforter dries, an hour to dry my clothes and maybe fifteen minutes to fold all of it. Then I need about two hours for my fish tank. But after that I have to shower and get ready.”

“What if I came over and helped you?” I was caught off guard by the question. “Um, I don’t know.” I ran my hands through my hair. “Come on, Katie. I’m sure that fish tank is heavy too.” I huffed, looking at the tank. It was twenty gallons and it was heavy, empty and full. “Okay. But you need to get here fast and you have to be gone before three-thirty. My parents will be back at four.” I heard him jump to his feet. “Send me the address, darlin’. I’m on my way.” I bit my lip, fighting back a grin at the name he seems to have given me. “Okay.” My voice was airy as we said goodbye and hung up. I text him my address, leaning against my door as I did so. My parents would literally kill me if they found out I had a male in general in the house without them here. But for Jake to be under my father’s command? That was a whole other realm of problems, especially considering the rumors that flew months ago. Maybe I should call him and tell him not to come? That would be the best thing to do. I broke away from my thoughts to grab my phone, but I was interrupted by the doorbell going off. 

I made my way downstairs, peeking out the window next to the door, swinging it open when I saw the familiar head of blonde hair. Jake smiled at me as he leaned on the door frame. His hair wasn’t perfectly fixed, hanging messily in front of his eyes. He had on a black shirt with some blue gym shorts slung low on his waist, and damn, have his arms always been that big. “It’s weird seeing you in casual clothing.” He said and that’s when I realized I was in a baggy shirt and shorts. “Sorry. I didn’t see the point in dressing up just to clean.” I said as I stepped back. “Come in.” He did and I shut the door behind him. “Want anything to drink?” I asked as he looked around. My house was by no means small, and my mother wanted to show off to anyone and everyone, so it always looked grand. “I’ll take a water.” I nodded, walking to the kitchen as he followed me. I grabbed a glass from the cabinet, filling it with water and handing it to him. He chuckled, looking at the glass. “No bottles?” I laughed, filling my own glass. “No, we’re too good for bottles according to my mother.” He chuckled. “How long did it take you to get here?” He shrugged, setting the glass down. “Like twenty minutes.”

I sat on my floor, against my bedroom door for twenty minutes? I shook the thought off, motioning him to follow me. “You can sit here while I toss my clothes in the washer, then we’ll tackle the fish tank.” He looked around my room before turning back to me. “I can help.” I laughed as I grabbed the basket full of clothes. “It’s putting laundry in the washer. It’s kind of a one person job.” He flashed me a smile, and I laughed. “I’ll be right back.” As I was tossing my clothes in, I was grateful that he didn’t insist on helping me. That would mean he would’ve seen my panties, and for some reason, that made redness flare across my cheeks. I never thought  things like that would make me blush. Every woman wears panties. Right? I shook the thoughts away and went back upstairs. I walked into my room to see Jake looking at all the pageant trophies my mother kept on display. “This was really you?” I nodded. “That hard to believe?” He shook his head. “No, you just look so young but so mature at the same time.” I nodded. “Lots of makeup, lots of spray tan.”

“So who's who?” He asked, leaning down to look into the tank. “You wanna know their names?” He nodded. “I mean, I’m about to remove them from their home, figured I’d know their names first.” I laughed at his words. “The two goldfish are Splish & Splash, I actually bought them together.” He nodded. “How can you tell them apart?” I pointed at Splish as she swam by. “That’s Splish. Not long after I got her, Georgie, the guppy with the veil shaped tail over there attacked her. They were still little at the time and he damaged her left fin. She’s fine but I really thought I was gonna have to separate them into separate tanks.” He nodded. “So Splash is this other one that’s next to her?” I nodded. “Georgie was the very first one I got, my parents got him for me. But then I got Splish and Splash. Simon is my angelfish over there and after him I got Ripley.” “She’s a neon tetra right?” I nodded. “Most people don’t know their species names.” He chuckled, standing up straight. “My nephew has a fish tank and it’s full of them.” I smiled at him. “Fish tanks are very relaxing, and I’ve learned alot from having them.” He raised a brow. “Like what?” He asked and I went into the bathroom, grabbing the container I put them in when I cleaned their tank. “Like goldfish have no stomach and can live to be forty years old.” “Forty years?” I nodded. “They also have short memories, but not as short as people think. It goes about three months and they can recognize people's faces.” 

He seemed surprised as I climbed onto the small step stool I keep in my room, placing the container in the water. “Hand me that net?” I asked, pointing to the other side of the tank. He handed it to me and watched as I corralled them into the container before I pulled it out. “You just herded them like cattle.” I laughed and nodded. “It’s routine now. They know when they see the net to move towards the container.” I said as I went into the bathroom, setting the container back onto the counter so they didn’t get knocked around. I used another container to empty more water until there was virtually none left. “Okay, just grab an end and lift.” He held his hand out, grabbing the tank long ways and just lifting it off the table. I couldn’t help but stare for a moment as the muscles in his arms rippled. “Jake! Please be careful! Please don’t spill any of it!” He carried it as if there was no problem. “Where do you want it?” He asked. “In the tub.” He nodded, carefully setting it down. “Thank you, but I would’ve helped you carry that.” He shook his head. “You carry that on your own?” I nodded. “No one helps you?” I shook my head. “They’re my fish, my responsibility. Why would anyone help me?” I asked, pulling out all my supplies. I could feel the tension in the air and his eyes on my back, but when I turned back around he just smiled at me. 

We got to cleaning out the tank. I stood in the large tub on one side of the tank and he sat on the edge on the other side. We were halfway done when he decided to splash water in my face. “I know you did not.” He laughed, looking up at me. “You said you needed a shower anyway. Figured I’d help you get started.” I splashed water back in his face. That started us tossing water at each other. “Stop!” I squealed as he soaked my glasses. I took them off, shaking them out. “And now I'm blind.” I joked, handing him my glasses to set on the counter behind him. As he did I looked past him, catching a tall form in the doorway. Even without my glasses I could tell it was my father, and I could tell he was mad. “Daddy.” The words escaped my mouth as I backed into the shower wall, wanting as much distance between us as possible. It helped that Jake was between us, but I was still scared. Jake looked up at me, seeing the fear on my face and looked behind him, standing as he saw my parents in the doorway. “Commander.” “Why are you in my house Lieutenant?” My father didn’t miss a beat in asking him. 

Jake opened his mouth to answer. “I asked him to come. I really wanted to go to the Hard Deck tonight and asked if he would help me finish everything so I could go.” My dad’s jaw ticked as Jake looked back at me, but I barely shook my head, telling him to keep his mouth shut. “You need to leave, Lieutenant.” My heart thudded in my chest as he looked back at me before stepping over the edge of the tub and making his way out downstairs. I couldn’t hear anything except my blood rushing in my ears, but when I heard the front door shut everything caught up with me. My mother took off to the left towards her room and my father surged forwards. “NO!” I screamed, attempting to duck away from him but he caught my hair that was piled in a bun on top of my head. I screamed as he pulled it, causing me to trip over the edge of the tub and crash to the stone tiled floors below. “GET UP!”

 I pushed myself up but he was faster, grabbing my hair again and pulling me up as a scream escaped my lips. I couldn’t get my feet under me as he literally tossed me out of the bathroom. I couldn’t get my hands out in front of me fast enough and landed face first on the carpet, blood immediately pouring out of my nose. I sat up as I heard something metal behind me, but as I went to turn and face my father I caught sight of the front door that was at the bottom of the stairs. Green eyes met my own as an angry look overtook Jake’s face. He took his hand off the doorknob and turned for the stairs, but the pleading look on my face made him stop. He couldn’t get involved, not now. “YOU’RE A FUCKING WHORE!” My dad yelled, bringing his belt down on my bare thigh making me close my eyes and scream. When I opened them I saw Jake was gone and I curled into the fetal position as my dad continued to bring his belt down. Once he left me lying on the hallway floor, I managed to get up, my entire body aching as I did so. I finished the tank and got my fish back in before I crawled into the hot shower. My back and legs stung as I gently washed my body, spotting a whelps that was lightly bleeding. He’s never been that angry, he’s never hit me with his belt. I shook at the memory, curling up on the shower floor for a minute, letting the scalding hot water wash over my body. 

I only got out when Mom banged on the bathroom door, telling me to get out. Once I was dry and in my pajamas, I went into my room, closing the door. I fed my fish and then crawled into my bed, not caring that it was only six o’clock, my muscles screamed at me as I pulled the covers up to my chin. Tears soaked my face as I listened to my phone buzz for the thousandth time. I knew Jake was blowing up my phone, and probably Natasha and Bradley as well. But after what happened earlier, I just didn’t wanna talk to anyone. I should’ve anticipated them coming home early. We could've avoided this. Eventually, I dozed off listening to the filter in the fish tank, but I was woken up not long later when my bedroom light turned on. “Get up!” I screamed as my dad grabbed the back of my shirt, yanking me out of bed. He dragged me over to my desk before slamming me down in the chair. “If you’re going to be a whore, you’ll at least be an educated one.” He said before walking out of the room and slamming my door shut behind him. Tears dripped onto my textbook as I cried. You knew better. You knew the repercussions of inviting him over. I attempted to shake the thoughts away but it was no use. Just admit it. You’re desperate for friends, desperate to not be alone. 

I cried the rest of the night and well into Sunday. By Monday I was too numb to cry, I couldn’t feel anything and I wore a long dress to cover my legs and the whelps that covered them. I don’t remember much of the day, only really comprehending anything until Natasha sat across from me, placing her hand on mine. I jumped from my chair, staring down at her for a second before I relaxed, only to jump again when a hand touched my back. I turned, tripping over my chair as Bradley grabbed my arms. “Katie. Hey?” He stood me up and bent down to look me in the face. “You okay?” I didn’t say anything, I just nodded and sat in the chair, tucking my hands between my thighs hoping the pressure would keep me from drifting off in my own head. “Katie we heard what happened.” Natasha got up, opting to take the chair next to me. I dropped my head, looking at the floral patterned dress that covered my thigh. “Katie, Jake was so pissed he called out today. He said he was sick, but really if he saw Commander Blair he might’ve lost it.” Bradley said as he squatted down next to my chair. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t know what to say. “What happened, Katie?” Natasha asked and I shook my head. “It was my fault.” 

“How was it your fault?” Bradley asked. “I shouldn’t have let him come over. If I had just told him to stay home it wouldn’t have happened.” Natasha grabbed my hands from between my legs, taking them both in hers. “This is not your fault, Katie. It doesn't matter what you did, no one deserves… oh my god.” I realized my dress had shifted, the slit on the side revealing one of the whelps. “Oh-” I went to stop her but she moved my dress, revealing part of my thighs, the whelps becoming even more visible. “Katie.” Her voice sounded so sad and Bradley looked livid. “You have to get out of there.” He said as he towered over me. He’s never hurt me before but he scared me hovering like that. “Sit down.” Natasha said quietly and he did, sitting in the chair at the end of the table. “Katie-” “I have to figure this out on my own. If anything happens, I don’t want anyone else tangled up in my mess.” They seemed stunned. For months since we met, I’ve been saying I don’t need help, but now I know I do. “If my dad finds out that Jake knows, this whole thing will take a turn and I don’t know if it’ll be for better or worse. So I need to do this myself.” I said as my eyes trained on this one spot on the table in front of me. Natasha sighed, but Bradley nodded. “I get it. But if you need help,” I nodded. “I’ll call if I really need help.” He nodded as my phone buzzed. I looked at it and gasped. “Fuck! My dad texted me five minutes ago to meet him in front of his office!” I quickly gathered my things. “God, he’s gonna kill me!” I said as I made my way to the door. “Katie! You’re not serious are you?” Bradley yelled. But I didn’t turn around and answer, mainly because I wasn’t so sure if he would or not.

That night after dinner I sat up in my room, my parents wanted me to be studying but I’ve done so much of it I’m five chapters ahead. I can slack off some, so I did. I sat in my bed, curled up with another Stephen King book, this time it was The Stand. I had dived into the picture of the world this book painted but was startled out of it when my door slammed open, the door knob putting a hole in the wall. “Why the fuck are you not studying?!” My dad yelled as he saw me, and I shook in my bed. “I’m five chapters ahead and I’ve done the work for the next four weeks.” He was red in the face and let out a loud yell before he swiped all the pageant trophies off my dresser. I didn’t really care about them but I was terrified, backed against my headboard as I watched him. “I’m sick of having a lazy good for nothing daughter who can’t even do the simplest things she’s asked! God! It’s like you’re stupid or something! Where the hell did we go wrong with you?!” He smashed everything as he screamed. My stack of CD’s, he tipped my bookshelf over and even yanked my comforter off my bed. “You are so ungrateful! We’ve given you everything! And you sit there as if you don’t owe us anything for it! YOU WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT US!” He screamed as he got in my face. “I don’t need you!” I screamed back.

I yelled out as his nail scratched my face as he ripped my glasses off. “I guess if you aren’t gonna use these to study,” He said as he sat my glasses on my desk, grabbing my fattest textbook. “YOU MUST NOT NEED THEM AT ALL!” “Daddy! Stop!” I jumped up, attempting to grab the book from him. But I was too late. He slammed the book on my glasses, crushing the lenses and destroying my wire frames. I grabbed his arm and he slung me around until I fell over, crashing into the table with my fish tank. “And these fucking fish! I’m so sick of them!” My heart stopped as he launched the book at my tank, glass shattering and water pouring into the floor. “NO!” I screamed. All five fish lay flopping on the floor, gasping for breath. I jumped up, rushing into the bathroom to grab the container I use when I clean their tank. I opened the tap in the sink and filled it with water. It felt like it took ages to fill up but when I finally had enough I left the water on and rushed back to my room, not caring if I spilled water in the hallway. I dropped to my knees, sobbing as I picked them up one by one and put them in the container. “Come on, guys.” I said as I picked up Georgie, gently setting him in the container. “Come on!” I yelled as my dad stood over me. None of them moved, laying on the bottom of the container. He lightly kicked my hip from where he was standing, making me look up and glare at him. “Get the hell  over it.” He growled out as he walked over towards my bedroom door. “And clean this shit up.” 

He shut my door and looked back down at the bowl, crying when I realized none of them moved. My body shook with sobs as I took my finger, nudging Ripley in hops he would move but he didn’t. “You can’t be dead.” I whispered as I sat back, pulling my knees up to my chest, sobbing. I can’t do this anymore. I should’ve left before now, maybe then they would still be alive. I eventually dragged myself up from the floor, grabbing the bowl and setting it on my desk, next to my crushed glasses. I went into the bathroom, grabbing the broom from there and sweeping up as much glass from my carpet as possible. My parents went to bed already, their closed bedroom door making it obvious. If I cut the vacuum on, who the hell knows what’d happen next. I got up what I could before going back to my room. Everything else could wait until tomorrow morning. I was too scared to lay in my bed, scared he’d come back in and do something to me. So I moved my chair to the other side of my desk so I could see the door and I crossed my arms in front of me, laying my head on them. I stared at the container in hopes it was just stress or the water parameters keeping them on the bottom. I would give them till the morning. My eyes shifting over to my glasses, my bent frames looking like a bent up metal sculpture. I couldn’t hold back anymore tears, letting them fall down my cheeks until they soaked my arms and desk. The next morning was hell. I stepped on a piece of glass, slicing my foot wide open. I was yelled at for missing my first two classes because I had to clean my floors, get up the glass and water, and none of my fish survived. Just like the day before I felt numb, barely remembering how I got to class, and to base. Let alone how I saw to get anywhere, I didn’t even remember walking into the rec room. But I stared at my papers anyway.

“Why are you struggling so hard?” Jake asked when he saw me squinting at the papers in front of me. “Where’s your glasses?” My body froze at his question, my chest getting heavy. “Hey, what is going on?” He asked, squatting down in front of me so he could look up at my face. My hands were between my thighs, the pressure grounding me. “Nothing. I’m fine.” He shook his head, standing and looking at me. “No, you’re not. I know you well enough now to know you’re not okay. So, what is it?” He asked. I took a deep breath, trying my hardest to not dump everything on him. You always run your mouth, at least try to keep this to yourself this time. I shook my head. I don’t run my mouth, and someone should know about the way they treat me. “Um...” I started but immediately stopped. If I start carrying on about this, he'll think I’m weird, he’ll walk away like everyone else. “You know you can tell me, right?” I sighed. “He broke my glasses last night.” It was a whisper. My voice not able to be any louder. “What? Your dad broke your glasses?” I nodded, tears welling in my eyes. “I just- He was yelling at me, and I snapped back. He yanked them off my face and slammed them into my desk before taking my textbook and smashing them.”

I started crying at the memory, he was so angry. The yelling always set me off. “There’s no excuse for him to do that, darlin’.” I shook my head. “No. I wasn’t focused like I should’ve been. I have to pass the bar and I couldn’t keep my nose out of this book I was reading.” I said as my arms crossed over my chest, squeezing myself. “He took them, saying if I wasn’t going to use them to study, I must not need them.” I choked out. “That’s not right. No, That’s not right. He can’t just do that.” I shook my head. “He pays for them, so he can-“ “That is not how that works, no matter what he tells you.” I shrugged. “What else did he do?” I furrowed my brows. “What makes you think he did something else?” He sighed, sitting on the desk in front of me as I started picking around my nails. “Usually once you get something off your chest. You get mad. You’re still upset.” I sighed as he gently gripped my chin, tilting my head up so he could look me in the eyes. God, those beautiful green eyes. “What is it?” I sighed, more tears streaming down my cheeks. “He broke my fish tank.” I choked out. His face immediately fell, and I turned my eyes back to my lap.

“Honey, I’m so sorry. Did any of them-“ I cut him off with a sniffle and a shake of my head. “None of them survived.” I said as I started crying. He pulled me into him, my head resting on his chest as he rubbed my back. “I’m so sorry, darlin’.” After a few minutes I sat back, wiping my tears. My eyes locked onto the small chip on the table in front of me as I spoke. “I’m sorry. This is all so stupid. They were just fish.” I said, trying to play it off like no big deal in hopes he wouldn’t find me weird. “No, it's not stupid. They were your pets; some you’ve had for years.” I felt better, knowing he didn’t find it stupid. Now I felt like I could be upset about it without feeling like I had to keep it all in. But I still furrowed my brows. “You remember that?” He nodded. “Of course, I do. You would go on and on about how much you loved them and the set up you had for them.” I was shocked, I never expected him to remember all those times I talked about them within the last few months. We sat there for a moment, me still crying a little.

“I’m going to say something to him.” He said as he got up, walking out the door. “No! No! No! Bad idea!” I said as I ran in front of him. “What are you going to say anyway? To your fleet commander no less, your new one at that!” “I’m gonna tell him that you don’t deserve this.” I shook my head. “Jake, I’m going to have to ask you to not get involved in this.” I said holding up my hand, but I was shocked when he grabbed it, holding it between both his hands. “And I’m going to have to deny that request.” He said firmly, looking into my eyes. “Why?” He chuckled, looking at my hand, his thumb rubbing my knuckles. “Would you believe me if I said it’s because I care about you?” He asked, taking a step closer. I was shocked, my breathing getting heavier and heavier. “I really do. You have pulled me in with these cute little things you do. Like when you pull on your thumbs, when you scrunch your nose. That little eyebrow quirk-Yeah, that one!” He said as my brow went up. “The way you get excited about little things, and you can’t help but wave your hands around and you do this little dance. I want to do this, because I care about you, Scarlett. I care about you a lot, and I hope you care about me too.”

“I do Jake, I never thought you’d become one of my best friends, but you did. I’m glad you care, but I can’t have anyone else involved with this. I have to figure out how to get out of this on my own.” He shook his head. “I’m done, letting you deal with this alone. You need help.” He said, running his hands through his hair. “Jake, I know. But I have to lay low and be complacent for a while. I just have to let them keep doing this until I find my opening to leave. I’m watched like a hawk twenty-four seven.” His face seemed to turn red in anger. “Be complacent? Be complacent?!” He yelled. I backed into the wall and immediately tears streamed down my face. A reaction I’ve gained over the years. "They don't get to treat you like that!" He yelled as I slid down the wall, tears coating my cheeks. "They're my parents, Jake! They have me trapped financially; I can't do shit about it!" I yelled back, tossing my head back into the wall. “I have to have somewhere to go, Jake. In case you haven’t noticed, I have no life skills! I can’t just leave!” He immediately calmed down, turning to face me. “I have a three bedroom house.” I furrowed my brows, standing from my spot, looking at him. “Jake-” “Come stay with me. I have the room and your parents would never guess, you’d be completely hidden away from them.” It almost sounded too good to be true. “Katie. Seriously, this is your chance and if you don’t take it,” He stopped, standing tall and looking down at me. “I’m just gonna have to force you to go with me.” 

This was it. My one chance. One that would probably never come again. Someone who was willing to let me live with them and not tell anyone. “Katie-” “Okay.” I said and immediately my heart started pounding in my chest. “Seriously?” I nodded. “When can you leave?” I asked. “Now. Mav let us out early.” I nodded, pulling my laptop and keys out of my bag, leaving them on the table, tossing my phone in between them. “What are you doing?” He asked as I hoisted my bag onto my shoulder. “My parents can and will track me with my phone and laptop. If I take the car, they’ll report it stolen. Better to just leave it all here.” I said as I turned, motioning him towards the door. “Won’t you need your phone?” He asked and I shook my head. “Better to start over.” I said and he nodded. “God, how are we gonna get out of here without passing my dad’s office?” I asked and he smirked at me, twirling his keys. “I park out by the hangar, all the way on the other side of the base.” I smiled at him. “You’re a genius.” I said and he led the way, rushing through the halls until we got out to the hangar. We rushed towards a black Chevy Silverado, Jake unlocked the doors, helping me into the passenger side before he jumped into the driver's seat. My heart beat thrummed in my ears and I felt lightheaded from the adrenaline as Jake backed out. “You okay?” He asked as I had my eyes locked on one of the jets. “I think so. This is weird and in all honesty I'm scared.” He chuckled, stretching his arm along the back of my seat before he looked at me. “You’ll be fine. I promise.” And for the first time ever. I felt like I could truly trust somebody.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @wkndwlff @alltimereverie @cherrycola27 @daisydaisygoose @rosiahills22 @deanoheartspie @cornishkat @high-speed-r @fogle97 @mygyn @ohgodnotagainn @emma8895eb @senjoritanana @genius2050 @sandaltoesocks @mayhemmanaged @dempy @itsdesiree86 @callsign-athena @jstarr86 @brooke-stinson @rachkon @topguncultleader @bethbunnyy @topgun-imagines @clancycucumber230 @seitmai @kkrenae @djs8891

[poisonedonyx]

Lucien x F!Reader | "Our Story" (p2)

requests r open, i suck at making ideas myself TwT tw: unedited, pregnancy, birth, oc baby, fighting/arguing between a door, kinda rushed wc: 2.4k Part One

Feyre sighed, taking her friend’s arm and holding her close. “What’s truly going on, [YourName]?” Feyre asked, noticing the scent difference, the hormonal peaks, it led to one thing but Feyre wanted her to admit it. The glamour only went so far, and it was starting to break. [YourName] finally broke down, “I believe I’m with child, I can’t stay here.” [YourName] finally said.

“There’s the truth..” Feyre smiled warmly, “I’ll talk to Rhys about this.. i’ll make sure you’re safe.” she adds. [YourName]’s breath hitched in a panic “He can’t know, what if he tells Lucien? I don’t need him-“ the panicked female began but Feyre cut her off; “Rhysand wouldn’t dare tell Lucien, he’s a trusted person, and I’m not saying that because he’s my mate. I promise.” Feyre said, squeezing her friend’s hand.

“Rhysand will make sure you’re safe in Velaris, that you and your child will be away from Lucien. Heck, I'll even visit from time to time.” Feyre promised, and for the first time since [YourName] suspected she was pregnant- she relaxed. She released a breath she didn’t know she was holding, but it soon would be caught in her throat once more. “We need to get you to a healer though, make sure everything is alright- especially after our run in with Eris.” Feyre pointed out, and [YourName] nodded in agreement. 

Once Feyre managed to corner her mate and explain everything about her dear friend, Rhysand had promised his mate he’d make sure [YourName] was tucked away safely with access to healers and such for her and her child. Once Rhysand knew, he summoned a healer to check on [YourName] and made sure Lucien was off the premises as they did so, just to respect [YourName]’s want to keep the pregnancy under wraps. 

“Things seem to be quite fine, you do have a powerful one on your hands.” The healer says, taking her hands off of [YourName]’s bare stomach. [YourName] just nodded as she fixed her shirt and sat up on the bed, “Take these, it’ll make sure things remain smooth between now and when I check in on you again in a few weeks. If you feel off, as if things aren’t normal, or you begin to bleed- contact me immediately.” The healer mentioned as she handed a bag full of tea, tea that [YourName] knew she wouldn’t be able to stomach for some time. 

According to the healer though, [YourName] was just entering her second trimester. Eventually, the healer left and [YourName] welcomed Feyre and Rhysand into the room she temporarily held up in. “How is everything?” Feyre questioned, “Good..” [YourName] answered with a bored tone- not that she was, she was just ready to leave. Rhysand smiled though, “Let’s go ahead and get you out of here.” he offered which the pregnant female happily took. 

When arriving at the cabin, [YourName] felt relieved. Everything she could have asked for was there and she thanked Rhysand with a low curtsy. Rhysand laughed it off before reminding her that a friend of Feyre’s was a friend of his, and that he and Feyre would visit now and again to check up on the female. 

Slowly, things started to fall into place for [YourName]. Slowly, her bump grew, and now that it was slightly there, her favorite hobby was looking at her stomach in the mirror or watching as her stomach raised up and down as she breathed. She couldn’t wait for the day her baby started to kick in her womb. Which, eventually did happen and [YourName] nearly cried of pure happiness. 

[YourName] was cutting up some fruit to snack on, and when she finally set the knife down to move the fruit onto a plate, she felt the kick. It marked twenty weeks- about five months along, and she felt the flutters in her stomach. At first she had zero idea what it meant and had assumed she had to pee, but never felt the need to pee, so she took her fruit and sat down with her book. When she felt it again, this time she watched her stomach and gasped when she watched a little bump pop up and disappear soon after. Her baby had been kicking! Hopefully this meant she was having a healthy baby- because truthfully that’s all she wanted. Even if the child was half the man [YourName] no longer wanted to see, she wanted her baby to have the best life. [YourName] gently placed her book aside and placed a hand where the baby had kicked and cooed softly, “The healer was right, you’re a powerful little thing..” [YourName] praises her unborn child. 

When it seemed her child was done being active, [YourName] picked her book up once more and began reading. She was excited to be able to hold her child in her arms, but she also knew it was going to be hard alone. Perhaps she’d return to Feyre and Rhysand and simply act as if Lucien didn’t exist- if he still remained in the home, trying to woo Elain when, in reality, that girl could do so much better than the Autumn Court faerie. Mate or not, [Yourname] was a firm believer in thinking Lucien didn’t deserve shit- especially after the way he had ended things. 

It would be another week before the healer had returned to check on [YourName] and in tow would be Feyre. “I didn’t expect to come as the healer did! I apologize!” Feyre says, setting her belongings down and both the healer and [YourName] brushed it off, claiming it was alright. Feyre sat with [YourName] as the healer placed her hands on [YourName]’s bare stomach and light shined beneath them. “Do you want to know the gender?” The healer asked, [YourName] looked over to Feyre- as if she’d have the answers she sought out for. 

“That’s up to you..” Feyre giggled softly, [YourName] nodded though “I do, I want to know..” the pregnant female nodded her head. After some time, the healer finally found a good spot to examine the baby within [YourName]’s womb, “Boy. Your baby is a boy.” the healer finally announced. [YourName] couldn’t help but melt on the spot when she found out the news, a baby boy. She had no idea where she was going to begin, she had fully prepped for a girl but perhaps that’s simply how it worked out for her. Fate is such a weird thing to attempt and play with. Once the healer was done, she gave [YourName] some drinks to try out to make sure the baby remained healthy before the healer took her leave. [YourName] turned to Feyre with a joyful smile on her face- “A boy!” she squealed. Feyre laughed at her friend’s excitement. After about an hour of chatting and lunch had begun to be made, Feyre finally spoke up. “I think.. I think he-who-shall-not-be-named misses you.” Feyre says as she places some vegetables into the pan, “Good. Make him regret.” [YourName] huffed as she didn’t miss the male, but deep down she had missed him and wished he remained around so she could experience the pregnancy together- but he had messed that up, he had screwed up and this was his punishment. 

Feyre watched carefully, because even though [YourName] had sounded as if she was determined to never see Lucien again, the frown on her face told something completely different. That she did miss the male too, but Feyre would never pass that message on to anyone, because she knew deep down [YourName] wanted to keep this from everyone. It wasn’t like [YourName] had anyone else but Feyre and Rhysand, so [YourName] understood fully why she was acting the way she was.

When [YourName] had disappeared, Lucien didn’t ask questions. In fact, he assumed she had ran away in embarrassment. It wasn’t until Elain had rejected him for the uptenth time, that Lucien realized that perhaps he did miss [YourName]. But never would admit it out loud. Just because the way things ended was, in fact, messy. He didn’t want to say he hated the way he saw her try not to cry as he was called ‘pig’ or how much force was in the slap to show how hurt she was. 

So, when Feyre claimed [YourName] missed most of them- Lucien decided to try and dig deeper. He asked where she was, how she was doing, and if she was okay. Feyre would smile and say she’s safe, she was doing amazingly, and she was more than okay. It placed a pit of nervousness and disgust when Feyre was so vague with her answers and perhaps [YourName] had asked her to do that and that just made him feel even more regret. 

Now that he knew Elain wanted nothing to do with him and it had gotten into his thick skull, he realized how much he missed [YourName]’s touch. So he was going to get to the bottom of where [YourName] was. That’s why when he overheard a quiet conversation between Feyre and Rhysand that he realized she was on the outskirts of town and that she wasn’t alone. She wasn’t alone. Has she moved on? His selfish side wished and hoped she didn’t. 

It wouldn’t be until [YourName] entered her third trimester that she realized how hard it was going to be in these final few weeks. She couldn’t pick anything up by herself, and when she was waddling down the path to her garden- she realized she wasn’t going to be able to get up on her own without assistance. She wished she had someone, but knew she told herself she had this and that the final stretch was in sight. 

When things did begin to flush out and [YourName] was hitting around her due date, the healer practically visited every two days to make sure [YourName] was doing alright on her own. It was hoped that while the healer was visiting and helping out around the house, that [YourName] would go into labor so she didn’t have to do it alone- but it seemed like the world had other plans. The one day the healer couldn’t make it out to help out, [YourName] went into labor. 

Sure, she was in labor for hours, but she followed the back-up instructions for the occasion that the healer couldn’t make it. She stripped down and found herself in the bathtub, half way through pushing did Feyre and Rhysand come to visit, the screams made the couple panic and when Feyre finally found [YourName] in the bathtub struggling to push- she dropped to her knees and offered her hand, which [YourName] took between tears. “I can’t do this alone,” [YourName] sobbed, but Feyre shook her head. “You’re not alone [YourName], you have us, you’re going to have your son, you won’t be alone.” Feyre promised, but to [YourName] it wasn’t enough. Even if it sounded selfish and cruel, Feyre, Rhysand, and her son were not enough to satisfy the hole in [YourName]’s heart. When [YourName] finally gave birth fully and there was a cry that pierced the air, everyone felt relieved, 

Feyre had helped place the little boy on [YourName]’s chest, all while she did the after birth process the healer had finally busted in and shooed her High Lady off so she could inspect both mom and baby. Things were good and after cleaning up, making sure mom was in bed, and baby was healthy- the healer left instructions for each meal and left. 

Feyre finally entered the room, watching as [YourName] fed her son for the first time. As the two females spoke, there were soft suckling noises from the baby. Finally, the topic of ‘returning home’ had come up and Feyre had offered for [YourName] to return closer to home. “I wouldn’t mind having you closer, it’s a matter of Lucien finding out.” Feyre chuckled, [YourName] shook her head “Whatever, I’ll take the offer though- I.. I miss being able to see you daily.” [YourName] said gently as she admired her son. “What did you name him?” Feyre finally asked, [YourName] cooed softly as she thought “I really like the name Alban, I may go with that. It suits him well.” [YourName] explained gently. Feyre couldn’t have agreed more. “Alban, sounds nice off the tongue.” Feyre jokes, making [YourName] chuckle. After some talking, it was official that [YourName] would be moving closer to the townhouse, especially since Feyre realized miss [YourName] was going to need big time help with the baby. 

A week would pass and when [YourName] was mostly healed from birthing mostly by herself, she got assistance from Cassian and Rhysand with moving and before [YourName] knew it- she was in a new home within Velaris. [YourName] set her son down in a bassinet close by the bed as she flopped down. Alban softly cooed, signaling he was awake. He tiredly watched as his mother picked him back up and cuddled with him until there was a knock on the door. 

With some hesitation, [YourName] held the child to her chest and made her way to the front food. Perhaps she should have checked who it was before just opening the door, but she did so anyway and there revealed the man she didn’t even want to think of. When she thought of Lucien, she had gotten pale and felt nauseous. So she tried to shut the door as fast as she could, that’s when the door stopped from shutting thanks to Lucien’s foot being in the way.

“Please, not now, I’m tired.” [YourName] begged, trying to shut the door still. “No, you’ve been gone for almost six months, I just want to know where you’ve been.” Lucien says, trying to fight back, but groaning when [YourName] fought back just as hard. “Safe, away from you- now leave.” [YourName] scoffed but before she could warn Lucien about Alban- the little one started to cry. 

[YourName] immediately dropped fighting with Lucien and turned her focus on the baby on her chest. She walked off to a different room to try and console him, but Lucien followed. “You.. You were pregnant?” Lucien asked in shock, he wasn’t dumb. That baby in his ex-friends-with-benefits’ arms looked too much like him and [YourName] as a mix to deny that [YoruName] was with child. 

[YourName] remained silent though, “You should’ve tried with me, please leave.” [YourName] asked once more. Lucien was at such a loss for words that he simply turned around and left, he didn’t know how to ask for more information. So, when he returned he asked Feyre and she gave him a look of pity before shaking her head “That’s not for me to tell.” she whispered before leaving Lucien alone with his thoughts once more.

[plentyoffandoms]

Glittery Pink (Part 11) (18+)

Gwi-nam x f/Reader

willing to "flash" a body part

Main Masterlist ♡ All Of Us Are Dead Masterlist ♡ Yoon Gwi-nam Masterlist ♡ Jelly Bracelets Masterlist

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

Warnings: Some swearing. Flashing. Mentions vibration panties

Am I late to this fandom? Oh hell, yes, but the show was so good.

Gifs and photos do not belong to me. 1st gif & 2nd @dramastream

YN'S POV:

He said the last part softly, that I didn't think I would hear him, but I did, but I didn't indicate that I heard anything.

I just watched as he tucked himself into his pants, fixed himself up, and got into the front seat.

I sat next to him, looked in the mirror, and silently cursed to myself at how ruined I looked and we haven't even fucked.

The car ride was quiet except for the music playing, and that was perfectly fine with me. I was tired and needed a shower, some toothpaste, and mouthwash.

He parked a block away from the house, and just as I was about to open the door, he told me to wait. I gave him a confused look as he reached in front of me and opened the glove compartment, and handed me a small bag.

I went to open the bag, but he interrupted me once more. "Not here." I didn't question him, even though I had about a thousand going through my head. I put the bag in my backpack.

"I'll be seeing you tomorrow." I said to him as I got out of the passenger side. I closed the door and walked the short distance to my house.

◆

It has been a few hours since I got home, and after a shower, some dinner which I spent with my parents, I am now in my room doing my homework.

I was re-reading a science question when I saw my phone light up from its place on my nightstand.

I ignored it as I needed to get this done.

But whomever it was kept messaging me, and now it has turned into them calling.

I answered the phone, annoyed at the fact that they wouldn't take the hint and leave me alone.

"Hello?"

"YN." Sun-Hee's soft voice was on the other end.

"Sun-Hee, hey."

"I have to tell you something."

"Okay...." I trailed off. I have no idea what she is going to say.

"You know how I mentioned leaving the party with someone? Well, I technically didn't leave....it was his house."

It dawned on me.

"Son Myeong-hwan? No way! How was it?"

Her tone changed as she told me how it was.

"He really had your eyes rolling? Huh, I thought he would have been a selfish lover."

"Me too, but YN, please don't tell Jang-Mi."

It isn't my place tell and I told her that as much. "If this gets serious, you will eventually have to tell her though."

"I don't think it will. We are just having fun, like you and Gwi-nam."

Hearing his name made me remember he gave me a gift, and I still haven't looked at it.

"Hey, I'll see you tomorrow. I just have to finish up this science homework." We hung up the phone.

I grabbed my backpack and pulled out the bag. I opened it, and I could have rolled my eyes at what was in the bag.

A pair of black, lace panties, and there was a note. 'Wear these and let me know.' Odd request, but sure.

I have learned that when he asks me to do something, it is best to just do it.

I finished my homework, laid out my clean uniform with the panties on top and went to bed.

◆

I walked to school the next day and was standing by my locker with Sun-Hee, the two of us whispering about her night with Myeong-hwan. When I saw Gwi-nam come around the corner with his friends around him.

I messaged him this morning, letting him know I was wearing his gift.

Sun-Hee stepped aside when Gwi-nam got close to me, and he put his arms on either side of my head, palms flat against my locker.

He leaned down to talk softly to me.

"You have no idea what you are in for today."

Was all he said before he walked away. I was clearly confused and wanted to chase after him, but the sound of the bell had me going to my first period.

Gwi-nam's POV:

I just had to wait for our first class together, and then I will start my fun. I can feel the remote in my pocket, already have the settings memorised.

I hardly paid attention to whatever the teacher was drowning on and on about, my mind completely occupied with what happened in the back of my car yesterday.

The feeling of being in her warm mouth and coming down her throat had me biting my fist and trying to think of anything gross to get me to calm down.

The bell rang and could have run to my next class as that is the class with YN. She was already sitting there, and I was close enough.

So, I put it on the first setting. The lowest one. I watched as she stopped writing what was on the board, looked down at her lap with a confused look on her face.

I took my seat behind her. I leaned over the desk to whisper in her ear once more.

"I told you, you have no idea what you are in for today. We are going to have so much fun."

"Gwi-nam, please tell me these are not..." I interrupted her.

"Oh, but they are. Now be a good girl, and pay attention. Class is about to start." And just on cue, our teacher walked in.

◆

I kept it on the lowest setting until she got called upon, and I knew it was perfect timing.

She was just about to finish the answer when I turned it up as high as it could go. The moan that left her mouth had everyone looking at her concerned as YN covered her mouth with her hand.

"Are you okay?" Our teacher asked and all YN could do was nod her head yes.

"Maybe you should go see the nurse." I didn't want the fun to end, and I guess neither did she because she shook her no.

"No, I am good." And she answered the question. I turned the vibrating panties off to give her a break.

I didn't want another teacher to think about sending her to a nurse or sending her home. So I had to bid my time.

The bell rang, signalling the end of the class. I waited outside the classroom for YN. Our classmates who were standing around outside the room were whispering and talking amongst themselves.

They quieted down when YN walked out and averted their gaze ones I put my arm around her shoulders, and the two of us walked away.

I pulled her into the same empty classroom as before and closed the door behind us.

"Sit on the table." I told her, and I watched with glee as she did as I asked. Once she was settled, I grabbed her and snapped the Glittery Pink one.

Willing to "flash" a body part.

"Lift up your skirt. I want to see how soaked you are." I grabbed another chair and pulled it up in front of her. I sat down and waited for her to lift the hem of her skirt.

"Gwi-nam, maybe."

"Now." My tone was all she needed to realise I wasn't playing around. She lifted her skirt, and just as she did that, I put it back on the highest setting.

Her back arched, and she flung back her head. She leaned back on her elbows and tried to close her legs, but I made sure to grip them and keep them apart.

"Don't you dare close them. I want to watch you fall apart for me."

Her body was shaking. She had tears streaming down her face and she never looked more gorgeous than she does at this very moment.

But I needed more.

I stood up and put my body between her legs. I reached down between our bodies and placed my palm right where the vibrator was and pushed it even harder against her clit and pussy.

My other hand lifted her shirt to just below her chin. I groped her tits through her bra, but I needed more.

I pulled the cups up and leaned down and took a nipple into my mouth, and groped the other one. I switched and gave the same treatment to the other one.

"Gwi-nam," She said, my name softly, and then it slowly turned into a chant. She was so close.

"You close princess? Need to cum?" I pushed even harder against her pussy.

"Please." She begged. I let go of her breast and gripped the back of her head, slammed my lips against hers, almost forgetting my plan for her.

"No." I mumbled against her lips as I took my hands away from her quivering body and took a step back and turned off the panties.

"What? What the fuck Gwi-nam?" She was pissed. She was so close to a big orgasm, but I took that away from her.

"When you cum today and you will, it will be on my tongue. Now fix yourself up and meet me for lunch. You are sitting with me."

I left her there, tits out, tear streaked face, and her calling out my name in frustration.

Blue (Part 10) (18+) ♧ Green (Part 12) (18+)

Gwi-nam taglist: @thefrogqueen8

[reevesdriver]

Polaroids: Part 3 (NSFW)

Summary: Negan takes a liking to you after finding Daryl's wallet containing nude polaroids.

Word count: 5584

Character(s): Negan

Reader: Female reader

Warning(s): NSFW / 🔥🔥🔥 / Eventual Smut / Slow Burn ??? / Angst / Mentions of Death / Gore / Oral Sex (F Receiving) / Rough Sex / Choking / Spitting / Praising / Creampie (Wrap is up guys) / Negans vulgar language as always

Support Me: Kofi

(AN: OOOooooooo Part 3 is here guys. I love how this chapter came out so I really hope you enjoy it. As always thank you for the wait.)

Part 1 | Part 2 |

Once Negan left you let out a sigh of relief and drifted upstairs taking your bag with you and dropping it on the bed. You emptied the contents out across the duvet and began sorting through the clothes that you'd picked up for yourself. Pulling off tags and peeling off stickers you organised the clothes and tucked them away into your wardrobe before putting the underwear away in your chest of drawers.

Stripping, you place your dirty and bloodied clothes into the wash basket in the corner of your room that was overflowing with clothes that needed scrubbing. Normally a few members of Alexandria would offer to wash your clothes but you turned them down most of the time as you preferred to do your own laundry though seeing the overflowing basket made you think twice about refusing the help.

Walking to your bathroom you quickly turn the shower on and wait for the warm water to flow before stepping underneath the spray. Immediately you worked on washing your face and hair, your arms starting with a dull ache from previously moving the furniture in the abandoned office with Daryl along with carrying heavy bags whilst killing walkers.

The shampoo was rinsed from your hair and the suds were sprayed off your body by the time the water started to go cold. With the amount of people in Alexandria it was becoming more and more difficult to guarantee even a lukewarm shower let alone a hot one but it was an appreciated rarity.

You dry yourself in the bathroom and wrap the towel around your chest as you re-enter your bedroom, though the sight of Daryl pacing in your bedroom takes you by surprise. “The hell are you doin?” He blurts out as soon as he notices you standing in the doorway.

Confusion crosses your face. “I just had a shower, what’s the problem?”

“I’m not talkin’ about the damn shower. You’re going back out there tomorrow, with that asshole.” Of course, Rick told Daryl as soon as he saw him making you shake your head. “I didn’t have a choice Daryl, we need those supplies that got left behind and I couldn't exactly say no to Negan.”

“He doesn’t wanna help, he wants to get you on your own again. You’re one of the best survivors we got and he knows that.”

“Daryl you know more than anyone that I can handle myself. If he tried anything I can handle him.”

He scoffs. “Yeah I bet you can.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You snarl.

“You’ve been gettin’ close to him, bet you’ll be on his dick the minute you’re outta those gates.” He grunts. Closing the gap you raise your hand and strike Daryl across his cheek. “Get out.”

A mixture of shock and hurt crosses his face as he realises what you did. “Y/N I-I’m sorry.” He exhales as he takes a step towards you but in return you take a step back.

“I said get out Daryl. Leave me the fuck alone and don’t come barging in here again.” You sit on the bed, your thumb tracing the stinging palm of your dominant hand as Daryl storms out of the room. You heard him hurry down the stairs and slam the front door behind him as he left muttering under his breath.

You sat, contemplating what to do and whether to go after Daryl and apologise but you shook your head. You had no reason to apologise to him and you were quite happy doing anything you could to avoid him for as long as possible until he apologised first. The rest of the day went by, you did odd jobs around the house and tidied up before climbing into bed and attempted to keep yourself distracted from the inevitable outing with Negan.

Your heart thumped in your chest, you’d managed to suppress your thoughts about him for so long but seeing him today brought so many emotions and feelings to the front of your mind. Feelings that you shouldn’t be having about the leader of the saviours, the very man who had been terrorising your group since he found you, the man who had killed a handful of your friends.

Despite that, your mind wandered as you fell asleep and soon you were dreaming of him, his deep voice in your ear, his hands on your face and his lips on yours make goosebumps rise on your skin. His hands fall to your waist, the hair on his cheeks tickles you as he moves his mouth to your neck sucking a bruise into your skin making your legs buckle. Negan moves a hand from your waist and to the front of your jeans, as he tucks his fingertips into the waistband of your pants and underwear you jolt awake in a hot sweat.

Your stomach was flipping and twisting into knots, your thighs wet and warm from sweating and rubbing them together during your dream. Negan was due to turn up at some point and a part of you contemplated rushing to get dressed and leaving on your own before you had to face him. Loud knocking at your front door made you climb out of bed and throw on your dressing gown. Trotting to the front door you open it without looking through the peep-hole and are greeted with a gorgeous smile from the salt and pepper bearded man. “Come on Darlin’ I thought you’d be ready and raring to go.” He laughs, his voice dripping with sex.

“You’re earlier than I thought you’d be.” You tug the belt of your dressing gown tighter making it close around your body whilst Negan runs his tongue over his bottom lip.

“Well I wanted to be early considerin’ how far we gotta travel. Plus it means I get more time with my favourite gal.”

“Yeah, right.” You stumble over your words. “Um, I need to get dressed and grab something to eat before we head out. You can come in and wait if you want, unless there’s something you have to do first?” You ask.

“Nah I can wait doll, I won't go snooping around don’t worry.”

You give a quick friendly smile and step to the side letting Negan in. Before shutting the door you quickly scan the street in front of you but don’t see any of your group meaning that almost everyone is most likely still asleep. You shut the door and walk to the kitchen putting some water on the hob to boil so you can make a cup of coffee. “I’ll be quick.” You say  running up the stairs to your bedroom, you throw on a pair of leggings and a tank top accompanied with a pair of comfy trainers and pick up your emptied rucksack from off the floor.

You step into the bathroom and quickly relieve yourself before brushing your teeth and sorting your hair out. In the kitchen Negan is leant against the island with an apple in his hand having just made two mugs of coffee. “Hope you don’t mind me taking an apple doll.”

Snickering you shrug and pick up the mug closest to you. “You take more than that from us anyway.” You say earning a scowl. “Smartass.” He says before downing his coffee.

Standing in silence whilst Negan eats his apple and you casually sip from your mug you relish the warm coffee as your stomach continues to twist into knots at his presence in your home. In your daze you fail to see Negans eyes scanning your body up and down as well as the slight tug of his bottom lip between his teeth. He’s watching you like a hawk and smiles when he sees your eyes fixated on his hands until your gaze drops 

When you finish your coffee you take an apple from the fruit basket in the middle of the kitchen island and go to the living room to scan over the map again. Using a notepad and a pencil taken from your bookcase you make a quick sketch of the road to take to the stores before taring the sheet from the rest of the pad and folding it up ready to take with you “Are you ready?” You ask Negan as he throws the apple core into the bin. He nods whilst you takes your bag and a jacket from the coatrack at the front door.

Since you happened to be someone who was easily approachable, the members of Alexandria that couldn’t go out on runs themselves would often come to you with a list of specific items if they heard that you were going out. As you left your house and pointed Negan to your car telling him to get in one of the women approached you nervously waiting until Negan was out of earshot before asking if you could discreetly grab her a few things whilst handing over a folded piece of paper. 

Opening it up you hid a frown when you read the list to yourself, you always tended to get sanitary products and condoms when you saw them as the end of the world didn’t mean the end of sex. Rarely did you ever have to get emergency birth control since you figured people would be a lot more careful but it was not always the case. “I’ll see what I can get.” You say tucking the paper into the pocket of your jacket and zip it up.

“Oh thank you, thank you so much.” She says before hurrying away back to her house. You climb into the drivers side of the car and throw your bag onto the backseat behind you.

“Your boyfriend don’t look pleased to see me.” Negan says motioning to Daryl who is glaring at you both from his position on the lookout post, you huff and Negan laughs. “Damn, trouble in paradise. Can’t wait to hear about this.”

You start the car and pull away from your house and out of Alexandria. In your rear-view mirror you see Daryl still facing you as the gates are closed but soon he is out of view. Stuffing your hand into your pocket you take out the folded piece of paper that you’d scribbled the directions onto and look it over.

Negan reaches and plucks the paper from out of your hand holding it out of reach like he had done with Daryl’s wallet weeks ago. “Keep your eyes on the road, not havin’ you fuckin’ crash cause you’re looking at some paper.”

“I need to know where I'm going.”

“I’ll tell you, just drive straight. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on between you and Daryl.”

You shifted awkwardly in your seat and mumble a complaint under your breath as you grip the steering wheel. “It’s nothing, we just had a little fight yesterday.” You shake your head.

“Hmm, doesn’t seem like nothing. What was it about?”

“Why do you care?”

“Just making conversation doll.” He answers though you don’t reply straight away. After a few minutes of silent contemplation you speak softly. “He doesn’t trust me.” 

“What?” Negan asks seemingly forgetting your previous conversation.

“Daryl.” You say. “He doesn’t trust me, that’s why we had a fight.” 

“Trust is hard to come by these days, it takes people a long time to learn that not everyone is out to get them. Did he say why?” He asks and you nod.

“He thinks.” You hesitate. “Um, never mind it’s stupid. I turn left here don’t I?” You change the conversation quickly as you reach a crossroad and Negan looks down at the paper then nods. 

He didn’t press you for answers and instead silently watched you in the corner of his eye as you drove and followed his directions. You approached the marked point on the map and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw that the crowd of walkers had moved on. “Thought this place would be more hidden, surprised no-one has hit it yet.” Negan says.

“People probably don’t wanna travel more than they need to, especially since there's no guarantee that they’ll make it back. Plus, there’s most likely a handful of groups that don’t have to get supplies for themselves and others.”

“You’re gettin’ on my nerves with that shit doll.”

“Good.” You mutter. Pulling the hand-break up you step out of the car and get your bag from the backseat. “The herd seems to have moved on though I wouldn’t let your guard down. We left the bags of food in that grocery store so that’s where I'm going first, you do what you want.” You say and Negan gives a quick nod as he swings Lucille next to him.

Negan goes into the clothes store next-door as you return to the grocery store to collect the bags from the previous day. You half expected that the bags would be gone but fortunately, as you walked further into the store you saw them next to the counter in the same spot that you’d left them. Dropping your bag next to one of the shelves you fill it up with some more tinned food until it was full and grunted as you lifted the dead weight onto your shoulder, you pick up the bags Daryl had left and returned to your car, opened the boot and dropped them in.

Meanwhile, Negan was walking between the racks of clothes and examining the different fabrics that were scattered around until he found what he was looking for. You entered the store to see him looking through the pile of underwear and putting a few articles off to the side. “I don’t think pink is your colour.” You hold back a laugh as he jumps and almost knocks a display over.

“Funny.” He collects himself. “I was looking at something for my wives.”

“Oh.” You hummed trying to fight the pang of jealousy that bubbled inside of you at the mention of his lovers. “Well hurry up, the bags of food are in the boot and I wanna get going after we’ve hit the Pharmacy.”

“You’re eager to get away from me aren't you.”

“Why wouldn't I be? You force people to join your group and kill or threaten anyone who refuses. Not to mention blackmailing me into giving you head, so I don’t wanna spend anymore time with you than I have to.” You raise your voice at the last sentence and Negan stalks over to you grabbing at your shoulder and shoving you against the concrete pilar behind you.

“Watch your fucking tone with me doll or I'll take your sweet little fuck toy Daryl and break him till he doesn’t know who you are.” He growls whilst towering over you sending an unwanted wave of heat between your legs.

Negan’s face moves closer to yours and his body closes the gap as he forces his lips against your own only to pull away a second or so later when the sounds of groaning and dragging feet can be heard from the entrance. A loan walker had wandered into the store but hadn’t noticed the pair of you yet until it was about a meter or two in.

“Fuck you.” You spit pushing away from Negan you storm to the front of the store and plunge your knife into the walkers head and scan the area for anymore. Deciding to continue with your scavenging alone instead of waiting for Negan you walked to the pharmacy a few doors down and entered with caution. Though it hadn’t been looted you could tell that walkers had been in it since medicines and first aid supplies were scattered across the floor next to toppled shelving units.

Remembering the list that was carelessly stuffed into your pocket you pull it out and scan over the contents again. Using the signs on top of the isles you found the section that you needed and knelt down whilst rummaging through the shelves, grabbing a few boxes, and stuffing them into your pockets.

Negan announces his presence with a soft laugh followed by a question. “You got some private list for yourself there doll?” He asks standing in front of you, resting Lucile dangerously close to your face.

“It’s none of your business.”

His eyes fall on one of the boxes that had fallen from the shelf when you searched it. “Morning after pill.” He states. “Did Daryl forget to pull out?” His hand hits his chest as he laughs.

“They’re not for me.” You stand and push past him with a scowl plastered on your face as you go to another isle to pick up the rest of the items on your list as well as stocking up on the basics like bandages and anti-septics.

“Don’t get pissy doll I’m only joking.” He follows you round and stands at the edge of the isle watching you pack supplies. “Besides, I can’t even count on both hands how many times I've cream-pied my wives by accident.”

“Shut up.” You shout as rage builds inside of you. “God you are insufferable, just fucking leave me alone for fuck sake.”

“Excuse me.” The mocking tone in his voice drops and you take a step back before returning and standing your ground.

“You heard me, or have you gone deaf now too?” You continue, not letting him get a word in. “You know Negan it’s only a matter of time before someone puts a bullet in your fucking head and with the way you’ve latched onto me I just might be the one to do it.”

“I know damn well you did not just fucking threaten me.”

“Get fucked Negan.” You turn to storm off to your car and leave him there but fail to see the walker that had been approaching you after hearing the rising commotion from outside. Falling backwards over the leg of an over-turned shelf you hit the floor and the walker climbs on top of you snapping its rotting mouth at your face. You manage to hold it back by its shoulders so it doesn’t grab or bite at your flesh but you can feel your arms going weaker by the second as it pushes against you. 

Blood sprayed over the wall next to you as Negan swings his bat against the side of the walkers head killing it after two heavy blows. Negan drags the walker off you and dumps it to the floor. “You alright doll?” He asks holding his hand out for you to grab, you’re too shaken to speak but give him a nod and take his hand instead and he helps you up off the floor. “Thank you.” You speak, barely above a whisper. Negan opens his mouth to reply but you cut him off by pushing your lips against his.

You pull away and mutter an apology though Negan decides it’s not good enough. Bending to grab the back of your thighs he lifts you up against his body and onto the nearby counter with ease, wasting no time in positioning his body between your legs he traces your bottom lip with his tongue before shoving it between your parted lips.

When Negans hands begin to move from your thighs up to the top of your pants you quickly grab his wrists and pull away to catch your breath. “This is why Daryl doesn’t trust me.” You breathe deeply, your forehead resting against his own. “He doesn’t trust me around you, and to be honest, I don’t trust myself either.”

“Fuck doll, you’re making it out like it’s a crime to fuck me.”

“You’ve killed a handful of our people Negan, if my group found out they would never forgive me. I’d probably be thrown out and left to fend for myself and-”

“Hey is anybody there?” A gruff voice interrupts your reply and you instinctively drop from the counter and behind the shelf. Negan follows your movements and immediately takes Lucille back into his hand as you listen. “We know you’re in here, the engine of that car outside is still warm and the other stores are empty. Why don’t you just come out with your weapons down and your hands up and we can talk.”

You both remain silent and hope that the men leave but when you heard the crunching of their boots rushing into the store and approaching you Negan is quick to speak out. “How many of you are there?” He asks making you turn back and offer a ‘what the fuck are you doing’ look.

“Three, is it just you?”

“Yeah.” He says pushing you forwards in an attempt to get you to make a run for it but despite his efforts you aren’t able to get far. As you walk forwards a man turn the corner and grabs you by your hair dragging you up from your crouching position and wrapping his arms around your chest so you can’t reach for your gun.

“Now where you trying to run from us pretty thing.” One of the men, who you assumed to be the leader, said as he approached you from the centre of the store whilst his friend tightened his grip around you.

“Don’t you fucking touch her.” Negan says standing to his full height between the leader and a third guy that was approaching him from behind leaving the pair of you completely trapped between foreign bodies.

“Is this your daddy?” The leader asks motioning to Negan whilst looking at you.

“No.”

“No?” He repeats with a laugh. “So is he your husband or something?”

“Yeah I am, now release my wife.” Negan says standing his ground.

“I wasn't talking to you old man I was talking to the chick.”

“He’s my husband, please we were just looking for supplies for our group.” You whine trying to seem desperate.

“Your group? How many of you are there?”

“It’s difficult to keep count, we’ve lost a few in the past month or so.”

“You got a camp nearby?” He asks and your panicked eyes flick to Negans and you can see him thinking about what to do. The leader looks between the pair of you before stomping over to you and grabbing your face roughly. “Hey. I said do you got a camp nearby?”

Ramming your head forwards your forehead strikes the mans nose and makes him stumble backwards clutching his face after the sickening crack of his nose breaking. Kicking back you manage to catch the guys shin making him buckle in pain and drop you from his arms. Within an instant you spin around and force your knife into his neck and twist it in deeper which makes a scream fall from his mouth. 

The leader wipes his nose and spits blood onto the floor before quickly stalking towards you. Meanwhile Negan had taken the opportunity to swing Lucille up and into the third mans face when he was caught off guard sending him backwards into the floor.

When the leader approaches you with haste you quickly gather all your strength and lunge at him knocking him onto the floor, as you climb on top of him you manage to narrowly avoid the bullet that was fired from his gun that he tried to aim at you and instead plunge your knife into his chest. Knelt over the man you slam the knife into him again and again until you feel Negan tugging at your arm and shouting. “He’s dead, we gotta go there’s a herd of walkers coming.” 

You panic, you have barely enough time to grab your bags whilst Negan is roughly dragging you to the car and forcing you to get into the passenger side as he climbs behind the wheel and starts the engine. He reverses and you hear the car collide with a few walkers before speeding off down the road leaving the massive crowd to descend on and devour the three men that were dead inside the pharmacy.

By the time you pull into Alexandria the sun was already setting and the streets were almost empty with only a few people chatting on the pavements outside their houses. Aaron was stood on the guard tower and opened the gates when he saw your car approaching allowing Negan to drive in with ease.

“Do you wanna come in for a drink?” You ask when the engine stops. “I’ve got a couple of beers in the fridge. Figured we could both do with one after today.”

“Sure.” He throws you the car keys as he climbs out of the vehicle. Since neither Rick nor Daryl seemed to be around you decided to head inside your house instead of alerting them to your return, though you assumed Aaron would inform them anyway. You shut the door behind the both of you and lock it then take your shoes off. Negan follows you into the kitchen after discarding his own shoes and waits for you to remove the cap from the bottles and hand him one. 

Taking a swig he moans at the coldness of the liquid and wipes the little drops of condensation that had rolled onto his lips. “Damn, you were right, I needed that.” He says with a smile exposing his dimples behind his beard. You agree and stand with your back pressed against the sink whilst Negan stands just opposite you leaning against the island in the centre of the kitchen.

He downs the rest of his beer and slides the bottle away from him before grimacing. “This jacket fucking stinks.” He unzips it and shrugs it off his shoulders so it can drop to the floor revealing the semi blood stained white t-shirt underneath. “Yours probably stinks too.” He says and you hum in agreement and empty the pockets of your jacket, dumping the boxes next to the sink behind you, before shedding the garment and dropping it onto the floor next to Negans.

Finishing your drink you watch as Negan tuts at the blood stains on his shirt before folding his toned, tattooed arms across his chest. “Do you want another beer?” You ask using your thumb to point to the fridge. Negan watched you like a hawk and instead of replying he closes the gap between you and presses his lips against yours once again though, fortunately, this time you don't have any interruptions.

Negan’s head is tilted slightly and his hands are holding your waist as you run your fingers from his chest and up through his hair pulling a soft moan from his mouth whilst your fingertips graze his scalp. “You gonna let me fuck you over this counter?” He growls.

“Fuck me yes, but not down here.” You reply taking his hand and pulling him to the staircase.

Rushing up the stairs like a pair of horny teenagers you barely make it into your bedroom before Negan is kissing you again and tugging your top over your head as he starts pushing you over to the bed though you mutter a soft ‘no’ before explaining. “I’m gonna have a shower, don’t wanna get the sheets dirty with blood care to join me?” You ask between kisses and Negan frantically nods. He sits on the edge of the bed and begins to unbutton his jeans as you step into the ensuite and get the shower turned on.

Once the water is warm you step inside and stand under the spray whilst Negan enters the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. He enters the shower behind you, pulling the door shut and immediately presses his body up against yours. His rough hands run from your waist across your belly and then up to hold your tits as he kisses at your neck whilst pressing his semi-hard cock against your ass.

“Mmm Negan.” You whine as he pinches your nipples.

He leans in to your ear. “Your body is fucking divine.” He says, his voice as seductive as you’d expected as he turns you round. Negans beard drags along your cheeks as his lips eagerly meet yours in a hot and heavy kiss that gets broken the minute Negan starts to drop to his knees in front of you.

“N-Negan.” You stutter trying to bring him back up. “What are you doing?”

“Shh baby. I wanna taste this sweet pussy of yours.” Raising one of your legs over his shoulder Negan grips your waist to keep you steady as his tongue dives into your sopping cunt, he rotates between tongue-fucking your hole and roughly sucking at your clit making your legs shake at the intense pleasure that was building up. You feel Negans teeth graze your clit as he continues his ministrations and all you can do is tug at his hair and try to keep your balance on the wet floor.

Your head is thrown back in pleasure and you cry out when you feel Negan shove two of his long fingers into your pussy and curl them inwards practically scooping your juices down his fingers and into the palm of his hand. Negan raises making your leg drop off his shoulder and wraps a hand around your throat. “Open that pretty fucking mouth doll.” He commands and you comply opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out willingly accepting his two fingers as he shoves them into your mouth.

You gently suck your cum from his fingers whilst staring into Negans eyes as he swills something in his mouth. Roughly removing his fingers from your mouth Negan grabs your chin and forces your mouth open again using his thumb and index finger to dig into your cheeks. When your mouth is open again Negan leans over you and spits directly onto your tongue. “Fucking swallow it baby. Don’t waste a drop.” He grabs your throat again until you close your mouth and swallow his spit.

“Show me.” He says and you open again, sticking your tongue out to show him that you’d swallowed. “Good girl, you’ll do anything I fucking ask won't you.”

“Yes Negan.” You reply with a wide smile and soft laugh. Negans lips meet yours again and he bends down to grab the backs of your thighs and lift you up against his body. You wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist as he presses your back against the wall of the shower. Holding you still with one arm firmly grasping one of your butt cheeks he grabs a hold of his cock and tucks the tip into your entrance before holding you with both hands again.

You moan into his mouth as he slowly pushes his hips to yours until his cock is fully sheathed in you. “Fuck baby, you feel better than I imagined.” He moans as he pulls back before thrusting into you again quicker. “You spent a lot of time imagining my pussy?” You ask between pants.

“Every night darlin’, every, fucking, night.” He pumps in and out of you roughly in order to emphasise his point. “Been looking at those pictures I took when I fucked your face and jerking myself red raw, shit I haven't even been fucking my wives cause I drain my balls too much to those polaroids.” He whines and bites down on your shoulder whilst maintaining a steady rhythm.

“Fuck Negan, that’s so hot.” You say as he starts to speed up his thrusts. His cock is angled perfectly, grazing against your sweet spot every time he pulls out and thrusts back in.

“Yeah? You think so? You getting wetter at the thought of me jerking off to your slutty pictures?” He moans and it’s true. The thought of Negan desperately hurrying back to his room just to shove his pants down and bring himself to release at the pictures of you makes you clench your pussy around his cock.

Negan digs his fingers into the flesh of your thighs as he sucks and bites at your shoulder and collarbone. Pressing you flush against the wall he’s able to thrust up into you quickly making you quiver with pleasure. “Shit, please Negan.” You beg, aching for your release. “Please, I’m so close.”

A roar bellows out of Negan as he slams into you as hard as he can, his fingers no doubt making bruises form under your skin from how hard he’s gripping you. He bites down onto the flesh of your neck and then soothes the pain by sucking on the skin gently as he releases deep inside of you. The feeling of Negans cum being pumped into you by his throbbing cock and flexing balls is more than enough to finish you off. You claw at his back and tug on his hair as you shake against his body and chase the end of your pleasure.

His forehead rests against yours as you pepper kisses on one another lips between panted breaths and praises. “You can put me down now.” You feel him try and re-adjust his grip on you.

“Yeah but I like having you in my arms.” He smirks. “Fuck that was a little soppy. Alright get down.” He says releasing his grip on your thighs and allowing your legs to drop from around his waist though you keep your arms around his neck and pull him down for another kiss. “You gonna help me get cleaned up now baby?”

“Anything for you Negan.”

Tag List: @jdmslut-red​ / @melixson​ / @neganswoman​

[drunkewok]

Tiger Inside Chapter Thirty-Three

Masterlist

Likes, reblogs and feedback always greatly appreciated

WC: 3k

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Genre: Series, Enemies to lovers, non-idol AU, Mafia AU

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, drinking, swearing, violence, weapons

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“I just don’t get it.” My eyes focused on every subtle dip and bump of Changbin's ceiling, my head resting back on his thigh as my hands waved frustratingly through the air. “I didn’t see any sign of Ateez anywhere.”

Changbin hummed as he mindlessly stared at the wall, body propped up against his headboard with his hands tucked behind his head.

“You said they mentioned the peppermint? How would they have known about that?”

“Fuck I don’t know.” I rubbed my hands across my face, my brain enveloped by a hazy fog, fighting off the sleep deprivation. My mind had been running eighty miles an hour the entire night, unable to catch a single moment of shut-eye in the pursuit of sleep. “They must have been close enough to see that I had the peppermint sticking out of my cup, or near us when we ordered them or something.”

“And you asked both Felix and Jeongin about this?”

“Of course! I told you, they didn’t see anything. It’s just not making any sense.” Contemplative silence fell back over the room as we thought of every possibility, the same questions replaying over and over and over in my head as I struggled to break the pattern of thought. I bolted upright, turning around to face Changbin as he stared back with startled wide eyes as I nudged him in the arm.

“What if my phone was bugged!? Maybe they weren’t even near us at all! They could have just been listening in and this is nothing more than a scare tactic!” 

“As much as I’d love to believe that’s the case, it feels a little bit like wishful thinking.” He readjusted his position, sitting up a bit more straight. “I still think you need to talk to Chan about this, I know you don’t want to but he needs to know if there’s a possibility that Ateez was trailing you guys. Like how did they know you were even there in the first place?”

“It'd make sense they'd know if I was bugged.” I turned back mumbling, draping my legs over the edge of the bed, and focused on my feet dangling. “It's not like they're staked out in front of the house, and they definitely can't be everywhere at once.”

“Please, just go talk to him. He might have a further idea that we aren’t thinking of”

I knew he was right. I hadn’t slept for a single moment. Of course there would be details that I could be overlooking. Focus pinned on the wrong things and running me around in circles without any conclusion. I hadn’t wanted to wind up here, but I had found myself pacing my room endlessly repeating the conversation with Changbin in my mind trying to hype myself up for what was to come.

I found myself anxiously standing before Chan’s office door, biting my lip as I tried to plan out our conversation in my head. We had still yet to truly speak since the incident at Blossom, and the thought of standing before him rubbed salt deep into the wound that was inflicted that night, that I was trying so hard to ignore. I finally knocked on the door, Chan’s muffled come in behind the wood ushering me inside. 

“What's up?” His nose was buried deep in the papers he was flipping through, not looking up as he scribbled something onto one of the corners. 

“Chan.” I don't know why my voice could barely speak above a whisper, mentally smacking myself because of my timid state. 

His head shot up from his papers, dropping them onto his desk as the smallest of smiles tried to creep its way onto the corners of his mouth.

“Y/n…” He stood, quickly rounding his desk and approaching me. But stopping short to not get too close and seem too eager, as if I were an animal he was scared of startling. 

“What-” he cleared his throat, trying to center himself and settling his shirt down as he picked up on my more solemn state. “What can I do for you?” 

I pulled my phone from my pocket, clicking on the unknown sender's messages, and handed it over to him. He stared down at the screen, face slowly contorting into confusion as his gaze returned to me.

“What's this?” 

“Last night.” My voice dropped, almost embarrassed to admit what happened. “I think we were followed when we went to the market.” 

“Followed?” He shook his head in an attempt to clear it, turning back towards his desk and motioning to one of the seats in front of it. “Go ahead and sit.” 

I followed behind him, quietly settling into the seat and tucking my hands into my lap, my stomach feeling as though it was doing somersaults.

“So I think the obvious question to ask here is, do you know who?” I shook my head sheepishly, already regretting that I was unable to bring him more information. 

“I've been stewing over it all night, I don't think it was Ateez though. I feel like I would have noticed them.” 

“And I'm assuming there was no one that stood out to you as suspicious?”

“No… I'm so sorry I can't give you more, I've seriously been tossing and turning all night. Felix and Jeongin don't recall anything either.” 

“No no, it's okay.” He waved off my apology before rubbing his fingers into his eyes. “The peppermint, what is that referring to?”

“I had a peppermint hot chocolate, that has to be what that's about and….” Chan stared at me confused as my eyes grew wide and I leaned forward, placing my face in my hands. “Oh my god the hot chocolate, Chan I'm such an idiot.”

“Okay no, you're not an idiot, I just need you to catch me up to wherever you just jumped to.”

“The fucking hot chocolate! A woman came up to me and Jeongin while we were watching Felix play a game! She asked where we got the hot chocolate and I told her to try the peppermint!” With a huff of frustration, I leaned back into the chair, letting my head fall back as I stared at the ceiling. “How did I only just now realize this!?”

“A woman? What did she look like?” 

I closed my eyes, desperately trying to reimagine her face.

“I can't remember much, it was such a brief interaction. Long, black hair? Bangs? I'd say probably like… Mid-twenties?” 

“Well, that sure narrows it down.”

“It was just so quick. She was there, then she was gone.” I sat up, my hands falling back into my lap. “It was such a mundane interaction, it’s not like I immediately thought to start taking notes on her appearance.”

I watched as Chan settled his elbow on his armrest, his hand supporting his chin as his face contorted into deep contemplation. Neither of us spoke, both falling into thought as we started to put together the pieces we had.

“So… Do we tell Jiho?” I slightly adjusted in my seat as I broke the silence, the realization that there might be an uncomfortable conversation to follow just now hitting me.

“Considering this is probably linked to Ateez, I don't think we should.” He rubbed his fingers against his chin. “As far as he knows, we've abandoned looking into them. And he’s not happy about what happened at Blossom, I’ve been on the wrong end of his anger during a few phone calls.”

“Oh, he knows?”

“Of course he knows.” Chan let out a humored scoff, “I hate to say it bluntly, but a building burned down and he had to work with the police to cover up a death. We put a lot on his plate that night.” 

“Right… I guess I hadn’t thought about that.” I hung my head slightly as the thought of that night flashed through my mind, gripping Seongho being permanently etched deep into my brain.

“Y/n-” I looked up to Chan. He was now leaning forward toward me, a solemn expression painted on his face. “I know this feels like an empty apology, because there's no forgiving what I did, but if I could change what happened that night I would in a heartbeat and-”

Taking a slow deep breath, I centered myself. Settling my racing heart as it was finally time to address the elephant in the room.

“I spent ages locked in my room, and it gave me more than enough time to think.” I cut him off, by this point feeling like he had no reason to apologize for his actions. “Deep down I knew you had to. I know how deaths have to be handled. I just didn't want to accept it. Does it make it easier? Of course not. But if Seongho saw me continuing to let this put my life on pause, and prevent me from figuring this shit out he'd kick my ass.” 

I let out a chuckle, giving a pained smile as I looked down at my hands fumbling in my lap. Taking another deep breath, I looked back up to him, trying to muster up the strength to continue. 

“It had to happen this way. At least this makes it so his family got to know, They got closure. If we brought him with us they would think he vanished into thin air. This was for the better.” 

A robbery gone painfully awry. The articles had been posted shortly after Jiho slipped bribe money into the hands of the police, our Father's connections with authority benefitting us even long after his death.

At least Seongho was able to return to his family one last time before they properly honored him in his final resting place below a marked grave.

Chan looked as though he was fighting off his emotions as we held a painful stare before he stood and rounded his desk, opening his arms wide to me. 

I stood, letting him wrap me in a tight embrace that felt like he may never let go. His chest rose and lowered with each slow, deep breath, holding me close.

We let ourselves stand there in comfortable silence, his grip on me tightening as tears unknowingly made their way down my cheeks. 

“I'm so, so sorry y/n.” He spoke up barely above a whisper.

“You stop that.” I pulled back from him, composing myself and wiping the moisture from my face, giving him a gentle pat on the chest. “I forgive you, so how about you forgive yourself now.”

“And Minho?”

“What about him?” I let out a scoff with a forced, fake smile, turning to the windows in an unconscious attempt to avoid looking him in the eyes at the sudden topic change.

“Do you forgive him?” Chan’s voice was gentle, his words feeling more like a suggestion than a question.

“There's no reason to. I'm not mad at him.” I shrugged, trying to play off the comment nonchalantly. Chan let out a humored puff of air, the smallest disbelieving, fake smile on his face.

“That didn’t seem to be the case when you stomped in here demanding to work separately from him.”

“He was holding me back.” I turned around, retrieving my phone from Chan’s desk. “It had nothing to do with that night.” I crossed to the door, trying to make a quick exit away from the diverting topic.  

“You know, I think the two of you still have a lot to learn from each other. ” I turned back to see Chan rounding his desk, hand grazing across the top before sinking into his seat. “Perhaps you could give you and him another chance?”

“I’ll let you know if any more texts come through.” My voice was flat as I turned to pull the door open, hardly giving Chan a nod, and slipping into the hall.

Click click

Everything had happened so quickly, blinded by the market lights and muffled by the sounds of the crowd.

“I’m so sorry to ask, but where did you get those?”My eyes narrowed, vision unfocused as I tried to recall my memory of the woman’s face as she had stood before me. No features stood out, a passerby that could have blended into the crowd with no attention brought to her.

Click click

She had wanted me to see her, to know of her presence. Why else would she have stepped forward and spoken to us? I had been too oblivious to her trailing us as I let myself get carried away in the night, so she had felt the need to approach. And when I was still too clueless, she continued with the texts. But how did she even have my number in the first place?

Click click

Time had started to vanish from me as I sat planted on the couch, eyes glazed over as my vision of the wall blurred. There was clearly something I was missing, some hint, some clue that would have been right under my nose the entire night.

Click click

A hand wrapped tightly around my fist, pulling me from my thoughts as my eyes came into focus on the feet before me. Slowly glancing up, I look at my hand held in place, then up to the irritated eyes of Minho standing above and staring me down.

“Quit it.” His other hand reached across, pulling the pen from the grip of my restrained hand and pocketing it, before turning on his heels and returning to the kitchen.

So deep into my thoughts, I hadn't even realized his presence on the other side of the room, or the consistent clicking that my thumb had been causing on the tip of my pen with each racing thought.

“Excuse me! I was using that!” I hopped up from my seat, promptly following behind him in protest.

He blissfully ignored me, eyes focused on the pot of ramen before him as he stirred its contents.

“Minho!” I tried to reach around to slip my hand into the pocket of his hoodie in an attempt to retrieve the pen, his hand quickly swatting me away.

“Stop that.” His snap was sharp, like he was scolding a disobedient cat for clawing at the furniture. Still refusing to look at me. 

“Stop being a prick and give me my damn pen.”

He quickly turned on his heels, our faces just inches apart and his stoic expression unreadable. I sucked in a breath of air, promptly holding it in my lungs as his eyes bore into mine within a tense silence that felt hours long. 

“You're in the way.” He spoke monotonically, head slightly cocking to the side as his arm reached up right beside my head. He grabbed a seasoning from the open shelf, turning back to the pot unphased.

I watched as he silently grabbed his bowl from the side, filling it until he was content, and turned to fish utensils from the drawer.

“I made too much. Eat it.” His head slightly turned in my direction. “You get cranky when you're hungry.” Without another glance, he started his way toward the hall.

“I don’t have to do as you say, you know.”

“Suit yourself.” He shrugged, stopping in his tracks and turning back to me. “Then it goes to waste.”

“Hey! Don't leave until you give my pen back!” 

He froze for a moment, brows furrowing like he was deep in thought. His head slowly rose with a smirk, giving another nonchalant shrug.

“Ask nicely.” 

“Oh fuck off.” I spit back. 

“That's what I've been trying to do, Dear!” He called out in a sing-song tune as he left, the softest giggle coming from the distance. 

With a huff and a mental foot stomp to the floor, I turned back to the unattended pot on the stove, just enough ramen for a secondary serving.

“You get cranky when you’re hungry” I mocked in a mumble, but still reluctantly grabbing myself a bowl from the cabinet. 

What an absolute twat. Once again thinking he’s so high and mighty, confiscating my pen from me. He’s lucky that I am just now realizing that I had indeed not fed myself today, or this would surely go to waste out of pure spite. 

I settled myself back onto the couch in silence, letting my mindless focus now go into my bowl of noodles instead of the incessant clicking of a pen. With a sip of broth, I hummed, the realization of hunger promptly hitting me with the first bite.

He’s also lucky that I missed his cooking.

I quickly scolded myself at the immediate thought. This is spite ramen, no matter how good his cooking is. 

It hadn’t taken me long to devour the bowl, the warm broth causing the drowsiness to finally hit me. I set the bowl on the coffee table, grabbing the remote, and deciding to watch just one episode before heading to bed. My head fell on a decorative pillow as I stretched out on the couch, not taking in much of the show as it began to play. 

I slowly started to stir, one eye-opening while the other stayed squeezed firmly shut to fight off the morning light. Feeling a bit disoriented as I sat up, I realized I must have fallen asleep on the couch last night. Dozing off before I had the chance to pull myself to bed. 

I attempted to stretch my arms and back, feeling tense from the night's sleep on the cushions. The TV had been shut off during the night, leaving the room silent. As I swung my legs over the side, settling my feet on the floor, I realized I'd been kept warm by an unfamiliar blanket. One that I most definitely hadn't fetched for myself and I made the safe assumption one of the boys had probably laid it across me in my sleep. 

I reached for my phone to check the time, quickly seeing that it had died during the night and was of no use. My bowl from dinner had vanished, but my eyes focused on my journal sitting where it once was, and the pen that was being returned to me sitting atop it, Chan’s voice softly replaying in my mind. 

“You know, I think the two of you still have a lot to learn from each other. ” 

“Perhaps you could give you and him another chance?”

Next Chapter (coming soon)

Taglist:

@leagreenly @jamlessstars @moonlight-the-writer @ishz @minbinboo @felixslostfreckle @venusmoonxnight @caillout24 @linocz @stayceebs97 @trinityceleste8 @_yhtwdr @lefay-ette

If you're highlighted in red I cannot properly tag you

[hobobobo-fett56]

Sorry I’m late sugar tits

Stu Macher x AFAB!reader

Genre: pure fluff

Warnings: stu calls reader “sugar tits” I am so sorry, swearing, literally the softest thing I could think of

Let me know if you want me to make a master list with all of my “sleepy” fluff stories (multi-fandom)

———————————————————————

You had really REALLY tried to stay awake, but the more math homework you did, the harder it was to not at least want to be unconscious.

So it shouldn’t have been a surprise to Stu when he slipped in your bedroom window near one in the morning to have found you passed out on your desk.

He had just finished up with some “homework” of his own (ghostface-ing) and he couldn’t wait to be curled up with you watching horror movies on the tv in your bedroom (pretend we can afford that).

“Sorry I’m late sugar tits- oh shit” he was about halfway through his sentence (and your window) when he noticed your slumped form over your desk.

Quietly slipping the rest of the way into your room he walked over to where you slept.

You did not look comfortable.

Your back was hunched in an unusual way, and your forehead was directly on the table; for some reason you didn’t have your arms under your head at all.

Stu took a minute to admire you. There was a bit of drool coming from the corner of your mouth, and one side of your face was squished, making it look like your nose was broken, but your boyfriend thought you were the cutest thing on this planet. He loved how peaceful you looked while you slept, how your whole face relaxed and you were just allowing yourself to rest.

He took a tissue out of the box on you desk and gently wiped off the drool on your face while rubbing your back.

“Baby, babyyyy” he whispered, stirring you easily because of what a light sleeper you are.

“We gotta get into bed, ok, you gotta wake a up a little bit so I can help get you ready for bed”

Looking at him with hazy eyes you shook your head, “Nuh uh, don’t wanna.” Your voice was almost unintelligible with how quiet it was.

Stu smiled softly “Ya huh pretty baby, come on, I’ll do all of the work, you just just lift up your arms, you don’t even have to be awake.”

You huffed but reluctantly lifted up your arms.

“There you go gorgeous, is it ok if I take off your shirt?” You nodded and he peppered small kisses around your face and littered you with words of encouragement, repeating the same question for each piece of clothing to make sure that you were comfortable with everything he was doing.

Once he had wiped off your makeup (he makes sure he always has makeup wipes on him since you told him how you hated to fall asleep with makeup on), put your hair up for the night (if you wear a bonnet or need to have your hair in a protective style for sleep, whatever your routine is), and you were changed into one of Stu’s shirts and a clean pair of underwear, he lifted you into his arms, each hand secured around your thighs as you wrapped your legs around his torso so that he could stand up with you on him.

“Good job baby, you did so good, almost done, I just have to get into into some pjs myself, ok?”

With much difficulty, as you were still clinging to him, your boyfriend struggled out of his jeans and t-shirt, and hobbled into a pair of plaid pyjama pants from a drawer that you kept in your room full of spare clothes for him. When he was done he sat at the edge of your bed and unwrapped you from around him so that he could get you tucked in underneath the covers before he got in.

He laughed lightly when you whined at the sudden loss of contact, but quickly tucked you in and crawled next to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you so that you were on top of him, chest to chest, rubbing his hand absentmindedly over your back.

“I love you, stu-ey” you mumbled, still half asleep.

Even though you had been dating for over two years, and no matter how many times you said them, those three words never failed to make him blush.

“I love you to pretty girl, so much” he kissed your head a pulled you somehow closer, rubbing your back until you both fell asleep cuddled up.

The next morning you were surprised to find you in your bed, in pj’s, and being practically smothered by your giraffe of a boyfriend.

You were significantly less surprised when you saw that he had changed you into your laciest pair of panties underneath the oversized shirt.

Sure he could be sweet but Stu was a pervert at heart.

At least he was your pervert.

The end. ❤️❤️

[a-heart-attack-ow]

The Arrangement. Part Thirteen

Part Twelve

Part Thirteen:

Over time I’d perfected the manicured image. 

The perfect wife and mother. 

Without missing a beat. 

A modern day princess, wrapped up in the perfect clothing. The perfect wedding rings and currated photoshoots. If I was being honest, I didn’t know if I would ever get used to this. All of the handshaking. The fake confidence that I forced myself to exude. Internally, I was sure I’d have been better at this by now, that I wouldn’t be phased by the fancy dresses. 

The madness. 

The money. 

The faces of men in suits who held power they shouldn’t have. 

The truth was, I hadn't gotten any better at being the wife of Colby Brock. Not even after three and a half years of marriage. Not even having a child together. I still felt as out of place as I ever did. I tried to not be bothered by the looks on everyone's faces when I walked into the room, looks of praise from people I hadn't ever meant to impress. I breathe a sharp breath as I walk into the party, cascades of red and black flowers flowing over the ceiling. The chandeliers offer the only indication that there's a roof above our heads. I keep my eyes forward as I walk along the marble floors, my shoes silent because of the music blasting over the speakers. Colby was somewhere in this mess of people, but I wasn't going to bother looking for him. Instead I looked for the bar, my eyes scanning over the crowd until I found it tucked into the corner of the room. I'd never been to this mansion before today, but it was bigger than any home I'd ever been in before. Colby had rented mansions like this out once a month for these lavish parties. After we'd moved from our old home to the cottage there wasn't room for this many people. 

Not that we wanted them in our space. 

I swallow hard when I catch a glimpse of Katrina, Kris, and Celina at the bar. Sam on the other side of Katrina, their shoulders brushing. Somehow, we always ended up here together. A band of misfits that didn't enjoy the black tie affair or the nauseating excess of wealth. 

"Ah there's our girl, looking as hot as ever."

Katrina says loudly over the music as she turns to face me. The dress Celina had picked out for me was a sexy, tight, burgundy dress. A mermaid fit, strapless, with a sweetheart neckline that really pushed up my breasts. Hanging tight on every curve. The dress was eye-catching and I could tell by the way men stared at me as I walked by. Not caring that my husband was somewhere in the crowd. 

"Thanks Kat, but if I had it my way, I'd be in sweats and holding my baby."

I join them at the bar, pulling up a seat next to Celina. She smiles and nods in agreement, we'd all rather be anywhere but here. Thinking of my daughter, I feel a twinge of sadness and a bigger sense of guilt. I hated leaving her at home with a sitter. I hated not being with her, even if it was only for a few hours. 

"I think we'd all rather be home with Eleanor. Do you think Brock will notice if we sneak off?"

Kris states lifelessly before taking a shot, slamming the glass down on the counter top. My friends did love my daughter and came over multiple times a week to spend time with her. Sometimes I was convinced they didn't like me anymore and only wanted to see my baby. I gesture to the bartender who looks me up and down, a smirk forming as he studies me closely. He was the same bartender we'd hired for our monthly events and by now he was fully aware of my order without me saying a word. I didn't know what it was about the men at these events, the way they looked at me like I was up for grabs. I didn't know if it was because they actually thought I looked good or if it was because of the fame I now had. Gone were the days of shy Emilia who didn't know her way around the traditions of the family I married into. In the years that had passed I'd become an expert and sought to grow further from just being Colby Brock's wife. I did interviews, rubbed elbows with famous men and women who'd all supported my charity endeavors. In the past two and a half years I'd made a name for myself within my family. I no longer relied on coaching from anyone and that's how I wanted it to be. Katrina still helped with PR, but her role had turned into more of a friendship than a working relationship. I found a sort of confidence in myself over the past few years and maybe that's what attracted the men at these parties.

The desire to break me.

I give the bartender a smile when he hands me my drink, his phone number on the napkin under my drink. 

His fifth attempt to give it to me over the months he'd been employed with us. 

I roll my eyes and down the champagne flute in seconds. God I wanted to go home. 

"In this dress he would notice her absence for sure."

I shoot Sam a glare as he puts his hands up in defense. In the years that had passed he and Katrina had found their way back to one another. Something that I thought was really sweet, because the way that they looked at each other made my heart melt. Instead, Sam and I had gone back to being friends. Friends who still hated these parties. 

"I haven't even seen him since I got here. We rode separately because I had a work thing that ran longer than expected. I doubt he even knows I'm here."

I rasp as the bartender gives me another glass of my usual. This time I don't bother looking at him, out of fear he'll send me another suggestive smirk. I keep my eyes on Sam who laughs while wrapping an arm around Kat's shoulder. 

"You know, that he's fully aware of your every movement right? He probably knew you were here the second your stiletto touched the ground outside."

A smile finds my lips when he says this ridiculous comment. Even though a part of me knows it's true, because he always seemed to keep tabs on me no matter where I was. With anyone else, I might think it was a little possessive, but with Colby I knew it was only because he worried about me going out on my own. 

"Ooh ominous." 

Is my only reply, sarcasm evident in my voice. A tone that earns a laugh from my friends. I had been so good at doing what was asked of me for so long that occasionally I couldn't help but be a little sarcastic. Maybe a little bitter that I'd been performing for as long as I have been. I try not to let the thought naw at me too much. I wouldn't trade any of this for the world because I was so in love with the life I'd built with Colby, but there were times when I felt like I was being tested for a quiz I didn't study for. I can see Sam try to formulate a response but doesn't bother when he sees someone come from behind me. Glancing over my shoulder I lock eyes with Johnnie who gives me a shy smile. 

"Colby needs to see you upstairs. Said he doesn't want to be kept waiting." 

My jaw clenches at the demand, mentally I can hear the tone of his voice. Colby never liked to be kept waiting and I'd spent years spoiling him by being obedient to his every whim. Whims that I would challenge it if I didn't already know what was waiting for me upstairs. 

What he was planning to do to me upstairs. 

"Thank you for telling me, Johnnie." 

I breathe the words, anticipation creeping its way up my spine. I give my friends one last glance before complying with where I was told to be. Slowly pulling myself away from the bar and back through the sea of people. I can feel myself unable to ignore the way my body pulls myself through the crowd of people with newfound determination. I can't bring myself to care about the other people watching me or whatever they think of me. Instead, I mindlessly walk myself up the stairs of the mansion, feeling dozens of eyes boring into my back with each step forward. Or the way the crowd murmurs amongst themselves as I reach the top of the stairs, everyone seeming to know where I was going. 

And who I was going to. 

What I was going to do to him. 

At the top of the stairs, I see a door directly across from the landing, the door opened a crack. Glancing to my left and then to my right I notice that all of the other doors are closed except this one. So I use that as my sign that this was the room I'd been summoned to. With trembling legs, I step forward, my hands pushing the door open. I take a few steps inside of the room, noting that it's empty. I hear the door close behind me and that's when I'm aware that I'm not alone. I don't turn to face the culprit behind the door closing. I don't need to because I can feel him behind me, his aura electric. I breathe a slow shallow breath and stare at the curtains on the windows directly in front of me. The room we are in looks like a random guest bedroom, not big enough to be the master. In the center of the room, up against the windows is the queen sized mattress. I keep my posture straight as I feel his fingertips go along my spine, lightly enough to cause chills to go up my spine. I feel his eyes on me as he takes me in, appreciating all of the hard work Kris and Celina put into me looking presentable. I smell his cologne, as he stands behind me. His chest against my back, his breath on my neck. He hums in approval as I lean into him. 

"Well, look at you darling. You clean up nice."

I can't help my smile to myself, his lips light along my collarbone. 

"That's just because when you normally see me I'm covered in marker or dirt or whatever else our daughter gets into." 

Along my skin I feel him smile, breathing against me as he thinks about what I've said. It was true, 99 percent of the time I was covered in something gross. It had been that way since Eleanor was born. Babies had a way of being messy little humans and there was no way around it. He chuckles darkly. 

"True, my god does she get into everything..."

He pauses, kissing along my neck. My eyes flutter closed at the contact, his arms wrapping around my waist as I lean back to give him as much access to my neck as possible. Lightly, I feel his tongue dance over my skin, marking me with each gentle suck. I feel my lips part as I focus only on him and the way he's making me feel in this moment. My breathing is uneven and desperate for whatever else he has planned. He hums as his fingertips toy with the zipper of my dress, not wasting a second before dragging the zipper down, the dress falling onto the floor around my feet. The cool air of the room causes my nipples to harden without the safe confines of my built in bra. He slides his hands down from my waist to the top of my lace underwear, toying with the fabric. 

"... I see you're wearing the new underwear I bought you." 

My head feels fuzzy as he slowly drags the fabric down my legs at a cruelty deliberate pace. His head remains in the crook of my neck as he does this, lips never leaving my throat. I reach around, my fingers in his hair. I try to ground myself in reality as I knot my fingers in his hair. I feel his hand slide in between my thighs, fingertips grazing my clit. His middle finger traces the sensitive bud, my knees buckling for a second as his arm holds me in place. I feel my breath immediately grow uneven as he rubs slow circles. 

“My baby doll is so needy. I fucked you this morning, but you’re acting like you’re touch starved.” 

His voice is deeper, his lips remaining light on my throat. He slides his middle finger inside of me, curled and ready to inflict maximum damange. Inside of me, he feels good, my head tilting back against his chest. My eyes flutter closed and a moan brushing past my lips quietly. He lifts his lips from my throat, his head resting on my head as he holds me, finger fucking me without apology. He adds another finger and groans in satisfaction at the mess he’s made of me. Around his fingers, I feel my walls tighten around him. 

“Can I cum on your fingers daddy?”

I whisper in heated breaths, my question pulsating through the silence. Something snaps inside of him whenever I call him this. Something feral and fucking glorious. 

“Do it baby doll.”

He growls, his fingers thrusting further inside of me at a faster pace. Unrelentlessly daring me to do what we both want me to. I feel the nerves building, my walls tightening around him violently, my legs shaking. He holds me up, aware that my legs will give out if he doesn’t. He kisses the side of my head, his eyes never leaving me as he watches me fall apart on his fingers. I can’t think as I release, cum coating his fingers. When I finish and my chest is still heaving, he pulls his fingers out of me. Turning my head to face him, I watch him lick his fingers clean, my stomach flipping in excitement. 

A sight I could watch all day. 

“Fuck Colbs.”

I whisper, my breathing still unrecovered. He chuckles, his hands pulling my lace underwear back up legs. He slaps my ass once it’s covered causing me to laugh as I turn to face him. He looked so good dressed in a suit, his blue eyes piercing me through the dimmed light of the room. He looks at my body, taking in the sight of me. He reaches out to cup my breasts in his hands.

“If I wasn’t expected downstairs in five minutes, I would touch every inch of you.” 

He sighs, wishing we weren’t on a time limit. Without wasting another moment he slowly turns me away from him, leaning down to slide my gown back up my body. He zips me back into it and kisses the side of my head once more. I glance over my shoulder and give him look of sympathy. Becoming the head of a company had pros and cons. One of those cons was that he always had to entertain the assholes in suits downstairs. He moves his body from mine and I turn to face him once more more. His eyes suddenly look tired as he really studies the dress Celina had picked for me. 

Like the men downstairs. 

He approves. 

“I need to give Kris and Celina a raise.” 

A smile tugs at the corners of my lips, my arms folding across my chest. Sometimes, under his gaze, I felt like he was seeing me for the first time. Not that I was complaining, it was a strange spark that made everyday with him feel more special. I lean into him, my hands finding either side of his face. I study him and breathe a deep sigh. 

“They’ll laugh when I tell them that.” 

He places his hands over the top of mine. Gentle as he rubs his fingertips lightly along my skin. Neither of us wanted to be here, but we knew the price of our roles. The price of the life we maintained. 

“Walk with me to join the party?”

He asks pulling back, his hand outstretched to hold mine. Without speaking I take his hand and let him guide me out of the room. The moment we emerge from the room, the silence that had fallen over the guests falters. The faint chatter resuming when they no longer want to try and sneak a listen to their fearless leader.

And whatever he’d been doing to his wife upstairs.

I keep my eyes forward, Colby slightly in front of me as he pulls me towards the landing. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, the camera flashes start. The meeting of madness starting with careful documentation. The fake smiles find our faces with each step down the stairs. The flashes only growing more unstable with each step forward. We pause at the bottom of the stairs, eyes locked on the photographers. 

Posing 

Like we’d always been trained to. 

After a few minutes my cheeks hurt. Colby raising a hand, a gesture that meant for them to stop. 

Or else. 

When the photographers disipate the careful gazes of our guests come into sight. In a blur of flashing lights that lingered long after they’d ceased in my eyes. Colby looks at the men, the pompous look he wore around the men he worked with etching into his face. I don’t listen to him speak as he addresses the mindless businessmen. I only stare at him with a fake look of support, my eyes trained to fain interest. When he finishes speaking he takes his leave, steping off the final step. He joins the party and I am quick to walk back towards the bar where my friends still lingered. I notice the way they look back at me when I weave through the people, the party starting. I keep my focus on my friends, but pause when I see someone in the crowd that I hadn’t expected to be there. 

The woman from the garden.

Colby’s ex that he’d spoken to while I watched on helplessly. The same day that our lives changed forever. Seeing her now, long black hair loose and in a tight dress, looking like a flawless ghost that I thought I’d repressed. My brow furrows for a moment, her brown eyes locking onto mine. The shy demenor she had the day in the garden was nonexistent here in the belly of the beast. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to think, and I don’t know what it means. The same woman he’d told to stay away was in attendence? Suddenly, my stomach drops and I hear the ghost of my mother-in-law’s voice in my head.

‘One day he will do what they all do. And you need to be prepared for it.’ 

‘I just want you to understand your role once Colby decides he wants to play with someone new.’

‘You’ll be expected to endure it. You’ll be expected to stand by him and love him, even if he starts fucking someone else’

Rationality doesn’t find me as I feel my stomach turn. How was it that my mother-in-law was able to haunt me so thoroughly when she’d been dead for three and a half years? How was that fair. I’m so inside of my head that I don’t notice that the woman has moved her way over to me. Close enough for me to reach out and touch her. 

“Emilia.”

She says my name, her voice light and soft. For a moment the jealousy and anxiety of what her prescence could mean eats away at me.  Unable to respond for a moment. 

“Y-yes.”

I whisper, my lips parting despite wanting to remain silence. 

“I need you to listen to me before he finds out I’m here.” 

The composure she once had fades as she pulls herself closer to me. Her hands reaching out to rest on my waist as she moves her lips to the side of my head. So she can whisper in my ear without anyone hearing her. 

“The men here, members of the Brock family estate, they’re plotting something big. Something bad.”

I feel my breathing hitch. 

“What are you talking about?”

I whisper back. 

“The board members, Sam, Colby, they’ve been up to something big. My father is a member of the board and I know they’re doing something illegal. Something that will make them a lot of money.”

I don’t know if I believe her, but when I feel her slide a flash drive drive into my hands I feel like there might be some truth to what she’s saying. 

“He’s not like them.” I rasp more to myself than to her, a statement that causes her to grip on me to tighten. As if she’s trying to make me believe her through her touch alone. 

“Maybe, but he’s allowing the board to do this without fighting them. I’m telling you this because you seem like a good woman. I don’t want you to get hurt like I d-”

She doesn’t get to finish speaking before I feel her grasp get pulled away from me. Forcibly, Corey pulls her away from me, his eyes serious as he tries to be gentle. Jake joins him, taking the otherside of the woman, gentle but firm as he pulls her away from me. I look on in horror at my friends dragging her. 

“Please, we were just speaking....” 

I raise my voice, making sure that they don’t notice the flash drive she’s slipped into my hands. 

“...You don’t have to drag her out.”

Both men give me a look, a momentary pause. Normally, when I gave a direction they listened, but today they seemed to be under other orders. 

His.

I give the woman a look of sympathy and attempt to reach out for her. To help her somehow, but when I move forward I feel an arm wrap around my waist. An arm that holds me still to the spot. I glance over and feel my heart drop when I lock eyes with Colby. His face is serious, to anyone else it would look like he was worried about me and getting the woman as far from me as possible, but I see through that. He’s serious because he knows he’s too late. 

She told me too much.

I keep my face innocent, looking at him without any indication that I knew anything. A doe-eyed look that normally landed me in his bed for hours. A look that causes him to swallow hard for a moment before pulling his eyes to the woman being carried out of the party. His grip tighter on me as we watch on in silence, his fingertips rubbing slow circles on my skin. Around us, others look on in horror, but without surprise. 

As if they expected her to snap. 

Like they’ve seen it before.

–

An hour later I’m pushing open the door to the cottage. My eyes focused on finding my daughter.

Home Sweet Home.

Eleanor is sat in the middle of the living room, playing with building blocks with Nate. Nate had gotten babysitting duty, but from the massive smile on his face he didn’t seem to mind. Instead he sat with her on the floor with toy hair curlers in his hair and a fairy god mother wand. It’s a sweet sight and I needed it after whatever the hell I’d witnessed at the party. Whatever the hell was on the USB that I slipped into my clutch without anyone noticing. I smile at Nate when his eyes move to me, a grin on his face as he gestures to his hair. 

“Nelly did my hair, what do you think?”

He asks proudly, something that makes Eleanor giggle. 

“It’s the best you’ve ever looked.” I feel myself freeze when I hear Colby’s voice from behind me. I’d ridden home with him promptly after the events at the party, but after what she said I didn’t know if I wanted to be near him. I didn’t know what she meant but I knew that I wouldn’t like it. He closes the gap between us, his arm wrapping around me once more. He’d been extra handsy since the interuption at the party, like he knew that I knew something I shouldn’t. Like he was trying to smooth out any disruption that had formed in the wake of her truth. I pull away from him and move to where Eleanor is sitting on the floor, lifting her little body off of the ground and holding her close. 

“Tell Uncle Nate, thank you for coming to watch you.”

I tell my daughter, my tone soft as I shoot Colby a look that tells him he needs to dismiss Nate so we can speak. Nelly gives me a big grin and leans her head against my chest. 

“Thank you Uncle Nate. I had fun.”

Her small voice always makes my heart ache, she’s just so cute, sweet, and I love her more than anything. I give the top of her head a kiss, and give Nate a smile before walking down the hallway, my daughter waving goodbye over my shoulder. I don’t look back, I just carry us into my daughter’s room. 

“Mama, are you okay?”

Eleanor asks me quietly, her small fingers finding the tips of my hair. She plays with the strands as I hold onto her. Suddenly I don’t feel okay. Suddenly I’m freaked out by what happened or what it could mean. I didn’t want to think of what Colby was up to and if he was keeping something from me. I knew he didn’t tell me everything because he rarely talked about his work. Instead, he focused on what I was up to with my charity work. There had been an unspoken deal that we’d made when I decided to do good things with my position of power. He did whatever he needed to and I tried to undo it with doing good things. 

Like some sort of tug of war. 

“Yes, baby I’m alright. I just didn’t like being away from you for so long.” 

I’m not lying, going out made me miss her like crazy. Especially when it came to going out to parties. Parties I didn’t need to go to. It was always the same rich assholes that my husband prioritzed. I give the top of her head another kiss and hold in any emotions that I’d been left feeling. 

“I miss you too.”

She whispers, her little face peering up at me. She looked like Colby, she had his eyes and the same little pout he had. She had our dark brown hair, but had my nose. She is beautiful, kind, and perfect. I breathe a sigh as she yawns, rubbing her eyes. She was up later than her normal bedtime. 9:00 p.m. being well over an hour past her normal schedule. 

“You want to go to bed?”

I ask her, quietly, her head giving me a faint nod as her eyes close. Her ability to fall asleep on cue was impressive and I envied her for it. I bring her to her bed, and lay her down. Her fingers still entwined in my hair. 

“Can you sing me a goodnight song daddy?”

She asks, her eyes opening for a moment as she looks behind me. Where he stands, one hand on the door knob as he watches his two girls. His tie is loose, his face soft as he looks at Eleanor. She had him wrapped around her fingers and he would do anything for her. Including singing lullibies that he’d learned through her favorite cd he played in the car with her. She gives me a smile when I lean down to kiss her little cheeks. 

“I love you Nellie.” 

I whisper, standing up and glance over at Colby. His eyes focus on me more serious than before when he realizes I’m not staying with him while he sings to her. I don’t give him a look back, I ignore him as I pass him, my hand brushing his for a moment. He huffs out in frustration before walking over to our daughter’s bed. He sits on the side of the bed and I watch him brush her hair out of her face as he starts to sing to her. He had a beautiful voice, a talent he might’ve been able to pursue if his parents hadn’t forced him into the family business. But I try not to let the beauty of his voice distract me from being pissed. 

Instead, I walk from the nursery and move towards our bedroom. Once inside I undo the zipper of my gown and step outside of it. Laying it on top of the hamper on my side of the room. Absentmindedly I take off my jewlery and put my heals back on the shoe rack. I need to unwind but am unsure of how I can. I remember that the flash drive is in my purse, but I decide to deal with that later. I decide that I need to talk to him and see what he tells me. See if he tells me the whole truth or if he leaves stuff out. I slip into my night dress, its silky fabric hanging on every curve of my body. An outfit change that catches Colby’s eyes when he finally joins me in our bedroom. 

At the door, he closes us in and watches me as his fingers turn the lock. He takes a step forward and I take a step backward. Tension falls over us, thick enough to cut. The united front we’d built for the last three and a half years, seemingly broken after one evening. 

“What the fuck happened tonight Colby?”

I ask, my voice cold and controlled. A tone that doesn’t match my face, my doe-eyes seemingly making me less threatening. He smirks, his hands toying with his tie. Pulling the fabric off and falling to the floor. He undoes the each cuffling and his jacket. Shoes tossed to the side. His belt resting on top of his hamper. I don’t look away as he takes his pants off, his hardened cock causing me to squeeze my thighs together.

“What did Shea tell you?”

He asks, his button-up shirt falling to the ground. He looks at me smugly now that he’s fully naked in front of me. Fuck, did he look good. He always looked fucking good. 

“You’re doing something illegal.”

I whisper, his smirk growing. Without missing a beat he takes another step forward, mine another step back from his. He reaches out to grab my arm when he realizes that I have no intention of letting him corner me. 

Deciding to take what’s his. 

My body is flush against his within seconds, my nightdress pulled from my body. His hands are on either side of my face, his lips inches from mine as he gazes down at me. The arrogance in his face, my body always putty in his hands. 

“I’m doing what the board wants me to do. If I don’t they could vote me out of my position and do worse. I’m doing the best I can to appease them and keep them under control at the same time. It’s an impossible job, but I’m trying.”

My eyes dart from his to his mouth. 

To those fucking lips.

“I saw her that day in the hedge maze. I never told you that your mother dragged me out there because she wanted me to see you both and to tell me that it was my job to let you fuck other women. I saw how you treated her. We’d been watching you when that man came up behind us and shot your mom.”

His jaw tightens at my admission. The fact that I’d never told him in the past three and a half years. I was over here angry that he’d been up to something but was I any better? I couldn’t be sure. I’d kept it to myself because I didn’t want to hurt him in the middle of his grieving of his parents. A gasp escapes me as he holds me firmer. 

“You’re grilling me about keeping things from you when you’ve been doing the same? My baby doll is a hypocrite.”

He chuckles darkly, his hands moving from the side of my face. He pulls back, before kneeling down before me. Sliding my underwear off for the second time this evening. His hands are on my thighs, his eyes locked on me. 

“I didn’t want to hurt you. How is that the same as doing something illegal?”

The question comes out in a whimper as he stands up and lifts me up off of the ground. Wrapping my legs around his waist, as he carries me toward our bed. He growls as he pins me beneath him, his hardened cock grinding against the wet folds of my needy sex. My body betraying me with an eagerness for him to be inside of me. 

“Semantics Emilia.”

He groans aligning with me and pushing into me full tilt. A moan escapes me as my back arches into him. He lingers frozen as his cock savors the way my walls fit around him. Like two puzzle pieces always meant to be connected. 

“How illegal is this?”

I whimper as his lips move to my nipple, his teeth lightly pulling. His cock slides in and out of me with such force and eagerness that I can’t ignore the bliss of feeling him fuck me. I wrap my legs around his waist as he thrusts inside of me, stretching me out in the way that only he could. A hand wraps around the breast he’s not teasing with his mouth. A grip of tight satisfaction that I knew would bruise. 

In the way that I liked it to.

I close my eyes when his lips move from my nipple, to the valley of my breasts. Light kisses trailing up and down. 

“I can’t tell you.” 

He grinds himself deep inside of me, penatrating me deeper. A sensation that forces my jaw to clench. Fuck did it feel so good. Despite myself I’m overjoyed that I’m in his bed even if I was doing a shitty job of getting to the bottom of my interrogation. I’d never made it as a detective if a great cock was all that it took to silence me. 

“Colby.” A warning that I don’t have any authority to invoke. A warning that he laughs off as he peers up at me from the valley of my beasts, where he’s formed a sea of hickeys. An area that I could hide from peering eyes. 

“Emilia.”

He growls, another thrust, his hips unrelenteless as he fucks me deeply. His warning tells me that I need to stop asking. But I need to know what Shea had meant because if it was something terrible it had to be stopped. His hands move to my hips, lifting them in a new angle so he can fuck me deeper. His eyes close as he savors me, memorizing how tight I am and how my walls start to clench around him. I’m going to cum soon and he knew it. 

“Daddy please. I need to know.”

I plea knowing full well what my words will do. If he wanted to play dirty I could do it too. His eyes open as he glances down at me, his eyebrows raised. Not believing I’m being so persistent. I half expect him to be annoyed, but he’s not. He’s turned on.

Like he always fucking is. 

Like he always made me feel whenever we were together.

“Cum for me and I might tell you.”

His words are a command. Amusement in his eyes as he fucks me deeper. His thrusts still in rhythm even though they get sloppier the closer he gets to his own high. I arch into him, moaning as my walls tighten unrelentlessly. I cum all over his cock and when I do I feel him slam as far into me as he can holding me as he finishes. His cock shooting his seed deep inside of me. He holds himself there as his cock twitches a few more times before he pulls out of me. 

I lay there, head spinning as he watches me. Satisfied by how good he felt and how good he knew I felt. 

“The board has a secret perscription that they’re working on pushing out before it's ready. I’ve been trying to get them to test it properly, but they’ve been giving the drugs to our workers. There are severe reactions to the drug including severe hallucinations. The man who killed my parents, the disgruntled worker, had been taking the drugs when he went after my parents. He’d been hallucinating all sorts of shit and blamed my parents for it. I really can’t tell you anything else Emilia. I’m not trying to be difficult, if the board found out you knew, you could be hurt. I’m not risking that.” 

I look over at him and sigh. I didn’t want to know more, not when I needed to stay safe for our daughter. I knew that the company my husband inherited was complicated. But I also knew that I was only here to help use our positions to help people. The drama with Shea had detrailed me and derailed the safey net I’d built with Colby. We’d gotten to a really good place over the years. We had more good days than bad and for a moment someone had wedged between that and I let it. 

“She gave me a flash drive. With information on it. It’s in my clutch.” 

I whisper matter-of-factly. Noting the look of shock that overtakes his face. Seemingly impressed that I hadn’t told him sooner. 

“I’ll watch it with you.” 

He states lifelessly as if he already knows what’s on it. My brows furrow as I study him. 

“I never said it was a video.” 

He nods, looking away from me. He sits up in the bed, glaring at the wall in front of him. 

“You don’t need to. It’s an old video I made with her. She’s been shopping it around for a while. I’ve had to pay off many people to keep it quiet. Because it would ruin our image.”

I sit up, feeling dread quickly fall over me. Unsure of what’s he implying. 

“If this gets out, everyone will know our relationship started off as an arranged marriage. People would lose their shit and not trust us. They’d know everything we built had started out as lie. It won’t matter that we’ve turned it into a truth.”

I feel the weight of his words when he says this, realizing that the media finding out we’d started out as a lie would make everything we’d done feel like a lie. Like we weren’t trust worthy and that it would break up the work we’d put into making a change. 

“What did you do?”

I ask him, an accusatory tone in my voice without meaning it to. He doesn’t want to look at me, but wills himself to. His eyes soft once again. 

“I filmed a sex tape with her the night before we got married. I tell her that I’ll always love her even if I’m in an arranged marriage. I tell her that multiple times throughout the video. I thought she deleted it, she promised she did, but the last few weeks she’s been threatening me with it.”

I feel a pang of betrayal even though he didn’t cheat on me. I just can’t understand how someone could tell another person that and then go fuck someone else the next night. How could he tell her that and then fuck me? How could he sleep at night knowing he’d hurt her like that? I get up from the bed swiftly, my body feeling dirty suddenly. Used. Like I’ve done something wrong. 

Even though I knew we hadn’t. 

Even though I wouldn’t change a single thing. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I ask, mentally remembering the woman who’d been at the house party the night after we got married. The woman he’d been whispering to, so close their lips almost touched. The woman who I hadn’t realized was Shea until now, because that night I was tipsy. I was devestated and married to an asshole only 24 hours before. But now I see it, I see her. She’d been there from the beginning. I know Colby realizes I’m upset. I see it on his face as I grab my robe off the corner of my nightstand where I’d drapped it earlier. 

“She was there the night Sam punched you in the head...” 

I am breathless. 

“...The girl you told me you were only talking to. The girl you’d fucked two nights before.”

I am reeling. He looks ashamed with himself, his eyes suddenly unable to look at me. I sigh and decide that I can’t be here right now. Not in the same room as him, not right now. 

“I’m going to sleep in Nellie’s room tonight. I can’t look at you right now.” 

My words are piercing and I see it on his face. I know he’s hurt but I know that staying here might make me forgive him instantly. I know all it will take is for him to say something sweet and I’ll fall right into his grasp mindlessly. 

And right now I needed to let myself be angry. 

Even if it killed me to do it.

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

Between a Wolf and a Hound II

Sandor Clegane x Baratheon!Reader, Robb Stark x Baratheon!Reader

Summary: The new Lady of the North tries to cope with the fact that she is now married and has a responsibility to her husband.

Warnings: Full disclosure I wrote this in sections over the course of like two months so it's a bit jumbled. POV will randomly switch from first to third and back to first with no clear indication (sorry).

Real Warnings: Arranged marriage, cursing, angst, fighting, smut, public consummation, non/dubcon (didn't enter marriage willingly, therefore consummation is not consensual esp with witnesses)

Word Count: 4.4K

Part I | Masterlist

Rounding a corner that went towards the stables I found the large stature of Sandor walking away from me. “Sandor,” I called softly. I had already been ready to burst but upon seeing his pained expression I burst into tears as I approached. “Sandor,” I cried again as I reached him.

He pulled me into his body as I began to cry. Eventually scooping up my legs as he sat down so I was set in his lap. I buried my face into his beard as I continued to cry. “I-I’m so-sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing, little one? I know you didn’t choose that.”

“I didn’t think you’d be in the room.”

“It’s okay, takes a lot more than that to break me,” Sandor said, hiding the fact that he was on his way to drink himself to sleep. Both because of what he had seen and to cope with the fact that he’d never see her again after tomorrow.

“It hurt,” I cried.

Sandor reached his hand between my legs, just gently grazing me. He pulled his hand back and in the dim lighting of the hall he could see blood coating his fingers. “I know it did,” he said softly, remembering her cries for Robb to stop. “But it’ll get better when you’re not in front of an audience.”

“I don’t want it to get better, I just want you.”

“I know, me too,” Sandor sympathized. As he held her, the princess’s head tucked under his chin, he mustered up the strength to say the next words. “But you’re going to learn to be happy like Cat Stark did. You’re gonna fall in love with him, have his children, and be the highborn you are. Now, I’m gonna take you to your husband and say you got lost because if anyone catches me with you in this state, only my head will make it to King’s Landing.”

“No,” I pleaded, realizing the finality of his words. “Please I can never love him like you.”

“Try to, little one. For my sake, try to,” he said before gently pushing me off his lap. As he stood up, he pulled me up from the floor. Once I was steady on my feet, Sandor leaned down and kissed me. Our last kiss. I savored it, memorizing how he felt and tasted. When he pulled away, he lingered a little. His large fingers gently brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, his hands still gently grasping my face. He stepped away from me with a sigh, heading down the hall.

I walked with him, silently. I kept my gaze focused on the floor, too devastated to act like the Lady of the North I was supposed to now be. When we reached my new chambers, Sandor knocked for me. Robb opened the door, still wearing only his pants. “Your bride got lost,” was all Sandor said.

Robb nodded. “Thank you, for bringing her here,” he said, stepping aside for me to enter.

I held myself tightly as I walked across the threshold into Robb’s room. “Take care of her,” I faintly heard Sandor.

“I will,” came Robb’s reply before the door shut. I observed the room, it was warm looking despite the cold. There was a fire crackling in the hearth, the stone floors covered by rugs, both woven and made from animal skins. Several candles and torches lit the room, giving it a warm glow and the bed was made, several warm furs piled upon it. A maid came out of a room connected to Robb’s immediately exiting into the hall without a word. “I figured you’d enjoy a warm bath, after tonight,” he mumbled the last part, almost as if in shame.

“That is kind, thank you,” I said, heading into the en-suite. My husband followed after me, stopping at the door as I stood by the tub.

“Take as long as you like,” he said before stepping back, shutting the door and leaving me alone.

I quickly disrobed, eager to be warm again as I slipped into the bath. I soaked into the warmth for a long time. I don’t know how long but long enough for Robb to come looking for me. I only snapped to attention when I heard him call my name. Looking over, I found him standing beside the tub. “Are you alright? I called for you several times.”

“Uh- yes,” I answered. “I was just uh thinking, I suppose.”

He nodded solemnly before kneeling beside me. “Look, I am aware you didn’t want this marriage and I’m sorry about the bedding ceremony. But I promise to be a good husband and I won’t force myself on you. I have a sense that you may be in love with someone else?” I just looked down into the water, my hands crossed over my bent knees. Robb’s gaze followed, reaching his hand into the water to grasp mine. “This water is freezing, little doe,” he suddenly gasped.

I once again brought my attention to the world, realizing I was in fact cold. Robb dropped my hands, going over to where the servant had left a towel. He brought it over, wrapping it around me as I stepped out of the tub. Quickly urging me out of the washroom, he sat me down on a fur rug next to the fireplace. He stood beside me, hovering, as if unsure what to do. “Yes,” I spoke, answering his question from earlier. “It is true, I’ve spent the last year loving another man but he’s gone now. And I have every intention of making our marriage a happy one, of hopefully growing to love each other one day. I see how your parents interact, I want the same for us. For my worst nightmare would be ending up like my own parents. I will just need some time.”

Robb grabbed a fur blanket from hi— our bed. He kneeled before me, wrapping it around my shoulders. “Of course,” he agreed.

~

The next morning I woke up alone in Robb’s bed, wrapped in both the towel and several blankets. Surveying the room, my trunk laid beside the door. Leaving the warm bed, I went over, pulling out one of the many warm dresses that had been packed for me. Before leaving the chambers, I went to the window, hoping to see the view I’d have for the rest of my life. It was just like any view in Winterfell, grey skies and miles of pine trees. But this window faced down into the courtyard as well where I could see three figures practicing with their swords. I recognized them as Robb, his brother Jon Snow, and Theon Greyjoy whom had been hanging around Robb at the feasts. Several of my father’s men stood around, watching them spar, a few occasionally joining in. Surrounding them were the bustling movements of servants packing up my family’s belongings as well as Lord Stark’s as he would be the new Hand of the King.

I stepped away from the window with a sigh before heading out, intending to find my mother and some breakfast. In one of the smaller dining halls, I stumbled upon Lady Stark and her daughter Sansa. “My apologies,” I said as I interrupted their conversation.

“No need to apologize, I was hoping to see you,” my new mother-in-law smiled. “Please, eat,” she said, gesturing to an empty seat.

“Well then forgive me for holding you,” I apologized, taking a seat. A servant immediately placed a plate and silverware for me. “I don’t normally wake up so late.”

“Once again, no need to apologize,” she smiled. “Robb and I both told the servants not to disturb you. You had a demanding night.” I smiled shyly as I grabbed a pastry from the center of the table.

“Is King’s Landing as dirty as they say it is?” my sister-in-law suddenly asked.

I smiled at her question. “The city is quite dirty, and loud. But as long as you don’t wander too far out of the Red Keep, you will be perfectly fine. And should you ever venture out into the city, bring a guard or two. If not for your protection but to make your day less overwhelming. The merchants descend like vultures when they see nobles.”

“Do you miss it?”

I pondered for a second. “In some ways, yes,” I miss Sandor, “I’ll miss the warmth. In some ways, no, I like that it’s quiet here.”

Sansa hummed before looking to her mother. “May I be excused? I have to ensure everything has been packed.”

Lady Stark looked at her daughter sadly before agreeing. As Sansa left, I spoke up. “It must be hard, first little Bran and now your husband and daughters are leaving? Not to mention you had already been forced to leave your family when you married Lord Stark.”

She shrugged solemnly. “It is my duty,” was all she said. “I’m sure your mother is pained to leave you here.”

“Between us,” I began, already finding more comfort in Catelyn Stark than I ever had in my mother, “I don’t think so. She’s always favored her fairer haired children. I was looking forward to joining your family, it’s a shame they’re all leaving so soon.”

“Yes, well, it gets easier as you start a family of your own.” I just hummed, unsure if I was ready for that or not. “Ned told me last night was a little rough on you, I’m sorry you had to endure a public bedding ceremony.”

I tried to not let my mortification show. “Yes, well, afterwards Robb was apologetic. I understand he didn’t intend to harm me, I know he is an honorable man. You raised a good son, Lady Stark.”

She smiles graciously. “Thank you, and please, call me Cat. How are you finding the North?”

“You certainly have quite the culture. The people here are all so… overwhelmingly loyal to each other. And I am not of here.”

“Yes, harsh winters do that to a community. I can’t help but feel like an outsider here too. Ned always tells me that I am of the North now, I’m sure Robb will tell you the same.”

Just then, a servant entered. “The Queen requests her highness in her chambers.” I gave Cat one last grateful look before following after the servant. As I approached Cersei’s temporary chambers, I could see the door was already open as servants carried her belongings out. But as I entered, each one left, the last shutting the door behind her.

“Mother?” I called as she stood, staring out the window.

“I heard you bled last night?” was all she said, not bothering to turn to me.

“Yes,” I agreed.

“Good,” she said. She finally turned. “We’ll be off within the hour, I trust you know how to behave like the Lady you now are?” She said Lady with disgust. She had gone from Lady Lannister to Queen Baratheon while her daughter went from Princess Baratheon to Lady Stark, an incredible dishonor in her eyes. She was angry at Robert for doing that to her.

“Yes.”

“Good, try not to cry the next time your husband beds you,” she sniped with a dismissive wave. I felt tears prick my eyes as I turned, leaving her chambers.

I made my way outside, finding the youngest Stark daughter swinging around a small sword in a deserted area. Upon seeing me, she stepped back in fright, dropping the sword. “Please don’t tell anyone,” she immediately begged.

“Don’t worry, I won’t. A woman with a sword is a powerful thing.”

“It is?”

I smiled down at the young girl. I prayed Cersei never got her hands hand on girl. “Women have brains, men have brawn. And men are terrified when women have both.”

“And what about men? Can they have both?”

“I’ve never heard of a man with much of a brain,” I laughed. “If I were you, I’d hide the sword before your mother comes looking for you to say her goodbyes.” Arya nodded, running off eagerly.

I continued on, finding myself amongst the men I had viewed from the window earlier. They parted as they noticed me, allowing me to obtain a view of my husband as he sparred with a guard. Spying Jon Snow I approached. “Your brother is quite the swordsmen,” I announced my presence.

He gave a slight bow, “Your Highness.”

I just waved a dismissive hand. “No need for titles with family. Besides, I’m no longer a princess, just a lady now,” I beamed. While my mother saw this change of title as humiliating, I was relieved to be released from that life.

“Well if you think Robb is impressive, you should see me fight,” Jon laughed.

Neither of us noticed the man approaching us. “Exaggerating your skills to my wife, aren’t we now?” Robb asked rhetorically.

“Well it’s not exaggerating if it’s true,” Jon laughed.

Robb just shook his head dismissively. “Ignore him, little doe. He’s known for his over-embellishments. I apologize for not being there when you woke. I had some things to attend to and some of your father’s men were getting a bit bold. Had to show these Southerners real, Northern toughness.”

“It’s quite all right, I don’t generally wake up that late.”

He looked at me sympathetically. “You had a strenuous night, physically and emotionally. It’s only natural you wake up a bit later.”

“I had breakfast with your mother. A lovely woman, really.”

“Yes, she is very kind. I hope you’re finding Winterfell to your liking so far. It will be much quieter by this evening.”

“Yes, I’m enjoying the quiet so far. King’s Landing is far louder in comparison.”

“Well I’m glad,” he smiled.

“Oi, Stark!” a voice shouted from across the field. “Are you gonna keep flirting with the girl or are you gonna fight like a man?”

“Go,” I said with a laugh. “Prove your worth.” Robb smiled once again, pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek before heading towards the new guard. Glancing around, I found the large stature of Sandor. I felt physically ill at the thought of him seeing my exchange with Robb. Roles reversed, my heart would shatter if I had to watch another woman kiss him or make love to him like last night.

I slipped back into the crowd, trying to covertly maneuver my way to him. Upon reaching him, I gently brushed my fingers against his arm. But he didn’t look at me, keeping his gaze on the sparring match ahead. “Sandor…”

“I trust your husband is treating you well?” he asked, his gaze unwavering.

“Uh-yes, Lord Stark is a very decent man.”

“Good, or else I’d have to cut off his head within his own walls.” I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. “I should’ve done it when you were begging him to stop fucking you.”

“Sandor-”

“I hope he treats you well, little one, I really do. But I don’t particularly enjoy seeing him put his hands on what’s mine.”

I sighed. “Well for what it’s worth, I’ll always be yours.” He just grunted in acknowledgement, still never looking at me as I walked away, dejected.

~

“Would you like to go lie down? Eat something?” I asked Cat gingerly. Ever since the maester had mentioned a small fever she had thrown everyone else out of Bran’s room so Robb asked me to go in as a last resort. “I’ll watch Bran, he’ll be in good hands.” She didn’t say anything. “It won’t be for long. Don’t wrack yourself with more anxiety, you should walk it off. I’ve nursed my brothers and plenty of soldiers back to health. I will send someone to fetch you should the slightest thing happen.” Cat stared at her son longingly before bursting into tears.

“I need him to be okay,” she sobbed repeatedly.

“But you are not okay. Worrying yourself sick without a release will do Bran no good. What will he do if he wakes up and his mother is too exhausted to hold him?” She continued to cry but this time she stood up, exiting the room. A guard outside met her, bringing her to her chambers. So I settled in her seat, observing the younger Stark boy.

A few minutes passed and Robb came in. “I was told you had managed to get my mother to rest. I am very impressed,” he praised. He went to the window, opening the shutters. The howling of the wolves, crying for their masters, filtered in the window.

“Don’t be so hard on your mother. First her son falls to what should be his death and then her husband and daughters leave.”

“I know but…” he suddenly became quiet. “Fire! You stay here, I’ll come back,” he shouted before running off.

Taken aback, I stood up, heading to the window. Amongst the darkness was a small, glowing blaze alight on a small structure. Turning my gaze away, I found a hooded figure standing behind me, in front of Bran’s bed. “You’re not supposed to be here,” he said. “No one’s supposed to be here.” Utterly confused and unnerved I barely had time to react as he pulled out a knife, stepping towards me. But by the time I had come to my senses he had me pressed against the wall, knife poised to slit my throat. I heard myself yell, my hands reaching up to block the blade. One was immediately sliced open but the other caught where his hand was wrapped around the blade and I managed to push his hand away enough to give me room to move. I shoved him backwards but he took me with him, throwing my body to the ground. But before he could finish anything a blur of brown and grey pounced on top of him, tearing at his throat.

“Thank you,” I whispered to the dire wolf as he settled on the bed, next to his master.

“Lady Stark I heard…” came the breathless voice of a guard as he observed the carnage in the room. Another guard ran in, having a similar reaction to the carnage. “Get Lord Stark,” the first ordered. The second complied, running off. “You’re hurt, my Lady.”

“I am alright,” I dismissed. I couldn’t help but think that Sandor would be proud of me for fighting back and keeping myself alive. He had been the one that taught me how to fight. Standing up, I went over to Bran, checking him. Careful to not smear my blood on him with my injured hand.

Suddenly Robb entered, out of breath. “You’re hurt,” he pointed out in shock upon seeing my blood soaked hand. He was best to me in an instant, taking my wounded hand gently. “What happened?”

“Immediately after you left I went to see the fire from the window. When I turned around that man was in the room. Said that no one was supposed to be in here before he attacked me,” I explained. “He tried to slit my throat but I caught the blade. He was about to kill me when Bran’s wolf saved both our lives.”

“Come, let’s get you to the maester so he can fix your hand and take your statement,” he said gently, leading me out of the room with an arm around me.

~

“Your Grace,” a servant approached the King as he sat eating, “a raven from Winterfell brought this.” Ned perked up at the mention of Winterfell. The boy held up a small roll of parchment.

Robert took it, unrolling it. Ned sat anxiously as the king read. “There was an attack on your younger son’s life,” Robert told his old friend. “He is unharmed but apparently my daughter took the brunt of the attack to protect him.”

“Is she…?” Ned trailed off, not wanting to utter the death of his new daughter-in-law and the King’s daughter into existence.

“It says she is alright, just a little shaken up and a nasty cut on her hand,” he grumbled. “So much for your son’s promise to protect her.” Ned stayed silent at the comment, knowing that Robb was surely kicking himself at the injury of his new wife. “Someone bring me The Hound!” Robert suddenly bellowed. “Tell him he’s going back to Winterfell.”

~

I was simply eating lunch, minding my own business when I suddenly heard shouts coming from outside. Peering out the window I saw a familiar figure riding in the gate. Several guards stood before Sandor, attempting to block his entrance. I knew that this would not end well if this altercation became physical so I rushed down the stairs and outside.

As I approached the bickering men, I found my husband observing them. He was far enough away that he wouldn’t disturb them but close enough to intervene should he need to. I was still decently far away when Sandor suddenly jumped from Stranger’s back, unsheathing his sword. As the guards began to attack, I ran towards them, screeching for them to stop.

I was so fixated on Sandor I didn’t even notice Robb until he had me caught around the waist, blocking me from reaching them. “Sandor! Stop! All of you stop,” I screeched but they ignored me.

Seeing how desperate his wife was, Robb finally spoke up. “That’s enough!” he yelled. “As Lord of Winterfell I order you to cease.” All the guards fell still at their Lord’s command, Sandor also falling still.

I ripped myself from Robb’s grip, going to my guard. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be halfway to King’s Landing by now?”

“Your father sent me back. He received word of your attack,” he explained, taking my bandaged hand gently. “He wanted you protected, seeing as your husband failed at that,” he said with a pointed glare towards Robb.

Turning to him, I could see him clench his jaw at Sandor’s comment. “Lady Stark, a word?” I moved to approach him, Sandor following. “No, not the Hound, just you.”

“My orders are to resume my post as the princess’ sworn shield. Wherever she goes, I go.”

“I am Lord of Winterfell and you are on my land, speaking about my wife. I will decide on all matters related to her.”

“I’m here on your king’s orders, regarding the safety of his daughter. A duty you failed.”

“Enough,” I shouted at both men. “We will all go inside where Robb and I can speak in private.” Both begrudgingly agreed, Robb leading us straight to our chambers. He left Sandor outside his door before guiding me into the en-suite washroom.

“The Hound is the man you love, isn’t he?” Robb immediately demanded, fuming. I was completely blindsided, not anticipating that this is what he wanted to talk about. “You nearly ran into a sword fight for him. You could be dead if it weren’t for me.”

“Robb-”

“I tried to let him stay with you, I spoke up for him because I thought it would make this transition easier for you.”

“Robb please…”

“No, he’s not staying here. Your father is welcome to send another guard but I won’t be sharing our bed with a dog. You said yourself you intend to make our marriage happy and to try to fall in love with me. We cannot have a happy marriage with your dog constantly nipping at my heels.”

I stepped closer to my husband, venom coursing through my veins. “Send him away and I will hate you forever.”

“Try me,” he growled. “You will either grow to love me or your disdain will eat you alive. I accept the fact that you loved someone before me, I am giving you time, but I do not need to offer your lover room in my home or a place in my bed.”

“Fine, send him away, but I beg you not to tell anyone. They will have his head if they knew.”

Robb sighed, observing his wife's desperate expression. “I won't. We will speak later tonight,” he said before storming out to send Sandor away. I stayed in Robb’s room until I was sure they were both gone. I could never bear the heartbreak of seeing Sandor as he was sent away. I also couldn’t stand the thought of sharing a bed with Robb tonight so I went to one of the many guest rooms, setting up there.

I managed to stay there all day without being found. It wasn’t until night fell and I was intent to go to bed that the door opened, revealing my husband. I sat up from my comfortable position on the bed. “What are you doing here?”

Robb began stripping off his clothes until he was only in his trousers. “You are my wife, I am your husband, we share a bed,” he declared, sliding into bed next to me.

“My parents don’t share a bed.”

“And you said your greatest fear was ending up like them.”

Defeated, I huffed, laying back down. I turned away from him but his arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled himself closer so his body molded to mine. “I’m sorry I sent him away but I know you understand why I did it. Would you rather we continuously hurt each other by bringing others into our marital bed? I love you, little doe, I won’t let our marriage become merely a bargaining tool.”

I stayed silent, reflecting on his words. I did understand why he sent Sandor away, our marriage could not be happy with a third person in it. Understanding but still angry, my hand found his, the one that he had slipped below the pillow underneath my head. Upon feeling my grasp, Robb nuzzled himself further into me, the arm around my waist squeezing me tighter and his face finding its place in the crook of my neck.

Part I | Masterlist

[greatunironic]

got tagged by @sharpbutsoft for the first lines of the writing patterns, and @jewishrat420 for the last lines of the writing patterns, so just gonna smush them all together here!

(also not gonna tag anyone because, as usual, i've been absent + idk who's done what -- so if you haven't, and you want to, consider you're self tagged!!)

Writing Patterns 🏁

rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there’s a pattern! / list the last line of the same 10 fics you shared opening lines for and see if there's a pattern!

“So, you gonna put out tonight or what?” asked Robin from where she was reclined on his bed, painting her toenails and drinking his pop.  // “Yeah,” said Eddie. He kissed him again, even softer, sweeter. “Yeah, a promise.” (the valentine experience)

It started when Eddie said, “Seems kind of like a lot of bullshit that I’m about to die a virgin, man,” and Steve’s brain sort of spun out — because what? How? Eddie? He was a what? — as they sat in the middle of the woods, hotboxing the beemer in the late afternoon of what very well might be the day they died. // Eddie pressed his thumb to the corner of Steve’s mouth, said, “Guess we’d better live then, if we’re gonna go to Nationals or whatever,” and Steve said back, “Cool,” and then, smiling, Eddie replaced his thumb with his mouth. (in the backseat of your (boy)friend's car)

Eddie wakes up to sixty-eight unread text messages in his group chat with the boys. // “I mean,” says Eddie, and rolls him, laughing, over into his sheets for round two. (they're going to send us to prison for jerks)

At this point, Eddie’s life had really just sort of become an Aristotelian confluence of events. // “So gimme a sec, baby, and we’ll see if we can’t get this migraine sorted, okay?” (i give myself to you (as long as we move on the floor))

There’s laughter coming from the living room still as Eddie ushers Steve through the open door with a gentle hand at the small of his back. // For now, Eddie tucks his face into the soft, quiet juncture of Steve’s neck and shoulder, holds him close, and breathes, and it’s enough. It’s perfect. (your house is waiting)

On July Fifth — though she learns that after — Heather wakes up in a hospital bed. // “Yeah,” she says, and she means it. “I think we did.” (saint of ongoingness)

Hop buys a house in the Berkshires, after. // He thinks he’s going to like him. (these traces of available light)

November 1st, 1986 | Eddie, Well, man, you fuckin called it: fully got “gang-pressed” or whatever into hosting a Halloween party for the twerps last night. // “Well,” he repeats, the sun on his skin, the future like the ocean stretching out before them, way out and past the horizon. “Here’s to firsts then.” (scheming on a thing)

Ever since they walked out of Hawkins Middle for the last time in June, Lucas has been thinking about what high school is going to be like. // Maybe Max will show up for it, if he asks, he thinks. Maybe they all will. (zen, and the art of three point throws)

Getting shot, Eddie thinks, sucks balls, and not in the fun way. // With his hand still on his wrist, and Steve’s smile small and warm across from him, he’s kind of leaning towards a happy ending. Why not hope for the best for once? (three inches above the floor)