#and only 2 of those times were about my dead grandpa

[bonesfool]

The worst part about mental illness is how fucking embarrassing it is

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 5 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

warnings(s): homophobia is still a theme. another dead relative mentioned. smoking cigarettes.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 6

You'd decided to do nothing about Cady's infiltration for now. Or, well, Regina had told you she'd figure it out and given firm instruction to not do anything.

You didn't exactly like that. Then again, you didn't have any better ideas. Obviously, you wanted her to not be around Regina. It was wrong that she was friends with her under the pretence that she was looking for reasons to stab her in the back. Then again, she didn't need reasons. Regina had provided plenty already.

As September dragged along and eventually turned to October, it felt as if day by day your mind split into an exponentially growing number of pieces. Your desire to protect Regina battled with the fact that she had been wrong so many times, had really hurt people. Didn't they deserve some reparation? Didn't Regina deserve forgiveness? Was any of that for you to decide?

You would have to pick a side and make your stance known, eventually. You'd have to plant your feet firmly on the territory you really believed in. Only, you dreaded that you didn't have as much agency as you'd have liked.

Were you weak or strong for always sticking by someone? What would become of you if you didn't stand up for what you thought was right and wrong? Where was the line?

You didn't want to side with Janis and her lackeys. The more you looked at it, the parallel between them—Janis and Regina—started to become obvious. Janis and Regina weren't that different at all.

What did you even want? What could you want? You didn't have answers to those questions.

The weather was getting colder, so you'd shuffled your wardrobe quite a bit. Short-sleeved flannels and tee shirts were replaced by cotton undershirts and grandpa sweaters. Literal grandpa sweaters. You'd gotten the majority of them from your grandfather's closet, which he had left for you in his will. It was a joke you two had shared, that you looked better in his clothes than he did.

Regina certainly didn't think so.

"Those sweaters are fucking ugly." She put it bluntly, chewing on some gum as she surfed channels on your TV. She'd taken to spending a lot of time at yours recently. You guessed it had to do with her dad being home and her friends no longer being trustworthy.

"They were my gramps'." You pouted and slumped onto the couch next to her. Since your first sleepover, the distance between your bodies had gotten smaller each time. Your knees almost touched.

"The emotional baggage makes them even frumpier." She glanced at you before looking back at the TV. "You'd be better off framing them."

"I like them, Reg." You settled back and turned your attention to the screen as well. "I don't tell you what to wear."

"If you did we wouldn't be friends." She quipped, finally settling on just shutting the thing off. "Now, what's up with you?"

"Nothing." You didn't want to talk about it. You doubted you could talk about something like that and both remain calm. You hated shouting. It always made you cry, no matter the situation. You could've been the angriest you'd ever been, not sad at all, and still cry.

"Fine. Be stubborn." She huffed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I'm going to Aaron's Halloween Party."

"Are you?" You turned and blinked at her. "Cool, I guess."

"You know how everybody, like, dresses sexy? It's like the whole point of Halloween, yeah? Cady's from Kenya. She doesn't know that. She thinks Halloween's supposed to be scary."

"Isn't it, though?"

"Ugh, for kids it is. We're practically adults. Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." Regina recited as if from a book. "Karen's words."

"She's very wise, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is." Regina mused.

"You ever told her that?"

"No, she'd get a big head."

"Karen Shetty would get a big head." You said, disbelieving.

"They want what I have so bad," Regina said. "I have to keep them on their toes."

"Are they even your friends? Or do you keep them close to control them?" You sat up straighter, some dots connecting. "Is that why you got Cady to join you? Because she was too pretty to go unchecked?"

"So you think she's pretty." Regina shifted closer, your knees really touching now. You tried to contain your excitement.

"I feel that's pretty obvious." You leaned in also, almost without noticing yourself. She was like a magnet.

"She had potential. If she were to realize it, who knows what she would've gotten up to."

"You made her realize that. That's a self-fulfilling prophecy if I've ever heard one."

"What do you know about prophecies?"

"I know that if I scoped a threat, I wouldn't make them stronger." You licked your lips nervously. "Keeping an eye on her is one thing, but you've made her an enemy."

"Fine, sure, whatever. Now, I'm gonna bring her down. She's gonna humiliate herself by showing up to the party all scary-looking, and then I'm gonna kiss Aaron Samuels." She grinned and blew a bubble. The thin pink of the bubblegum complimented her eyes.

"Why? To make her jealous? Because she wants something you had?"

"To establish dominance."

"I dunno, Reg." You sighed, rubbing a hand down your face. "You're making an enemy."

"It's what I do best, jorts. Just watch." She got up and headed for the kitchen. Hated to see her leave, loved to watch her go.

So, you watched. You watched her hatch her plans, how she deliberately kept Karen from talking to Cady about high school Halloween party etiquette, which seemed like a challenging task indeed, and how her leash on Gretchen tightened to an impossible degree.

You sat alone in the computer room the night of the party, trying to build a profitable amusement park and failing miserably. Your heart wasn't in it. Not even gaming could take your mind off of Regina.

She was probably kissing Aaron Samuels right now. Right now, their lips were sealed together in a nasty French kiss that surely repulsed anybody close enough to hear the slurping and suckling that came from the union. Aaron was probably on her, touching her everywhere he could get his grubby paws, shamelessly licking at the roof of her mouth like a dog.

While the thought of the jock being a bad kisser soothed you somewhat, it didn't cure the clenching in your chest. Fuck, it was stupid that this hurt you. It wasn't even real, she was using him to get to Cady, but the mere thought of them like that made you want to puke.

You watched the chaos unfold the next morning. At lunch, Janis herded you to their table near the back. You were barely listening, too busy glowering in the general direction of the jock table. Cady was officially on board now, you were told. Regina had officially gone too far for her and now their real plans could commence.

"Hey, dude, are you even listening?" Janis punched you on the shoulder. You glared and punched back.

"No. Yes, I- what did you say? Something about Homecoming."

"Yes!" Janis practically hissed, looking a little manic. You looked at Damien, who was eyeing you suspiciously. "We're spraying water on her when she's inevitably crowned Homecoming queen. Cady's also replacing her moisturizer with lard. Can you think of anything?"

What, you were supposed to contribute to bringing Regina down? She was kidding, right? She continued to stare holes in you.

"Uh..." You swallowed. "I'm not really an ideas guy. I can help in other ways?" You squeaked, desperately wanting out of this whole thing.

"Ugh, you're boring." Janis groaned, slumping against Damien.

"Good talk." You said hastily as you got up. "I'm going to smoke a cigarette now." So acutely uncomfortable, you talked like a robot.

"Can you gimme one?" Janis perked up.

"No, she can't." Damien cast a look at Janis. "We agreed, remember? Smoking only at the garage."

You took that opportunity to skedaddle. They bickered like an old married couple. Though there was no romantic chemistry between them, they were obviously a solid duo.

Janis didn't seem so bitter when she was with Damien. Sure, now that they were planning revenge their focus was on Regina, but they often strayed off track. Why couldn't she just let go? She was clearly doing better now.

As you rounded the building and made it across the lawn towards the bleachers, you spotted a couple making out. The boy had the girl pinned to the wall. You were quite far away and you could hear their lips smacking.

You didn't want to look too close, because gross, but the varsity jacket and pink ensemble were hard to ignore.

You gritted your teeth and pulled out the pack of Marlboros you had on hand. Regina and Aaron fucking Samuels. You lit up and inhaled before you were even properly concealed under the bleachers.

God, you were such a hypocrite. If you weren't over what Regina did to you in middle school, then why should she be? She'd had it worse, too. You couldn't even imagine the consequences of something like that.

If people knew you liked girls, it'd be over. Even if it was sort of like an open secret, because nobody ever asked you about boys or stuff like that, to have it confirmed would ruin you beyond repair.

If people knew you liked Regina, it'd be even worse.

"Hey, why're you sulking under there?"

"Regina, I'm not in the mood to talk."

"Uh, grumpy much?"

"Leave me alone."

You leaned your head back against the steel, looking up at Regina as she stood over you. She was in all pink. A pink, fuzzy sweater, white skinnies, and Uggs. You had a blue, old Carhartt jacket, denim jeans and scuffed Converse.

You matched with her way better than Aaron. You could probably kiss better too. Not that you'd had any practice. But you'd at least have the sense to not slobber all over the one you were kissing.

Unless Regina liked sloppy kisses. As if you'd get to find out.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

I like you. I like you too much and it's hard to think. I can't tell wrong from right.

"It's nothing." You took another drag. "Janis and Damien are plotting. It just makes me mad." Not entirely untrue. You were lying by omission, though.

"What kinda plots?"

You hesitated. How could you? "Nothing concrete yet." Now you were really lying. It sunk like a stone down your gullet, hitting your heart on the way down, and dropped heavily into your stomach. It nearly punched a hole clean through.

"Keep me updated." She lingered and you kept looking at her. What would she look like as Homecoming queen, soaked down to her bones up on a stage? What would she look like after smearing lard on her face?

Not ethereal in the sunlight like this, probably. Though you reckoned ruined mascara and pimples wouldn't do anything to shake off this stupid crush.

"For sure." You just nodded and looked down. You couldn't keep your eyes on her when guilt gnawed at your insides.

"Can I have one?" She hopped over your legs and sat down on the grass next to you.

"A cigarette?" You baulked. "A cigarette for Regina George?"

"Yes, you doof." She laughed and reached for your pockets. "Where's the pack?" She kept patting down your body. Your heart sped up, your palms sweated, and a stupid grin split your face.

"Only one." You turned your face as stern as you could make it. "I'm not ruining your beautiful singing voice."

"You think my voice is beautiful?" When she asked questions like that and looked so small waiting for your answer, you didn't quite know what to do with yourself.

"Yeah," You breathed, sounding a little too sincere, too reverent. "You sang at the talent show in middle school that one year. I think it was a Celine Dion song? Captivating."

"That was so embarrassing. I had such shit breath control." She rested her hand on your thigh, casually, and the other behind your back. Your faces were so close. "C'mon, jorts. Now."

"Nobody complained. Everybody loved it." You reached into your pocket and handed her a cig. She put it between her lips and looked at you expectantly.

If you'd been feeling bold, you would've touched the tip of your lit one to hers. Yours was more than halfway done, so you'd have gotten real close. Maybe in your dreams.

You flicked the lighter to life and held the fire for her. "Suck. Yup, you got it."

She inhaled and let the smoke out of her mouth. You took a drag to keep from laughing. "When you've got the smoke in your mouth, inhale it."

She did as you told and started coughing violently. This time, you couldn't keep the laughter in. She shoved you and you laughed harder.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism, @9unknown0, @sage-rose2000, @massive-honkas, @nattys-swiftie, @likefirenrain, @luz-enjoyer, @dandelions4us, @natashamaximoff-69

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[thefandomexpert]

ok. dawntrail opinions

Overall I enjoyed it! my expectations were met, which is about all i can ask for coming off of the arr-ew epic. I do think they had some issues trying to ‘recapture the vibes’ though. There are several points where things are introduced as direct analogues to things the wol has experienced (provided you’ve done the earlier expansions) when they should have been left as their own, new experiences.

The most obvious of this is Zoraal Ja being stated, in game, to be a Zenos-equivalent. Which he is NOT. Zenos would never think about the consequences of his actions that much, his point is he doesn’t HAVE a reason. he says himself in ew: ‘would you hate me less if I had a good reason?’ that’s zenos. he’s there to make you confront how you view morality in that sense: what’s a ‘good enough’ reason to commit atrocities? if there is a ‘good enough’ reason, what if someone decides the line is somewhere else than you do? Zoraal Ja could have been a neat parallel where he does have a ‘good reason’ for turning to violence, but this, and the other major interesting thing about his character (ie. his relationship to his father and adopted siblings) is completely glossed over, ignored, and unexplored in favor of keeping him just a super strong ‘unknowable’ enemy. he’s a zenos equivalent only if you understand neither characters beyond their very basic plot purpose and it pissed me off they’d make the choice to POINT THAT OUT in a game that’s kind of made a living on making you examine grey morality.

Similarly, the last quarter of the expansion was a direct parallel to the decision we make in late shb and ew regarding the ancients and stopping the ascians. I feel like they felt like too many people were sidestepping the fact that we made a moral choice at The Dying Gasp; ‘they’re already dead/they’ve made villains of themselves.’ In removing the timeline fuckery of elpis and solidifying the shades in the amaurot equivalent, the alexandrian plotline seems to try very hard to corner you on those fronts and impress upon you that while the correct decision is to fight for your right to exist, it is a heavy decision and you Are Destroying Things, other people’s potential futures, in doing so. Again, I think this was well done (having whole areas of pretty assets erased after like 2 questlines in each one? bonkers. props to them.) but it was SO close to the ascian plotline it started to get distracting. like. They have Cahcuia say the ‘remember we once lived’ line. I love her (favorite va of the expac too) but why would you do that. get my grandpas words out your mouth rn. dead serious. This was a time for discussing the difference between permanent, remotely stored ‘memories’ of the departed and the fallible but active task of having the living population remember those they’ve lost, but instead they just. again, ignored the new interesting thing and decided to make sure you remembered the major plot line of the major villains of the past 10 years. like i love my ascians but if you wanted to do that you could have had whatever minor ascian enacted the lightning calamity be around!!! fuck!!!!

anyway the people who think wuk lamat is lyse 2 are just straight up wrong tho. They are NOT parallels they have the exact opposite character arc What are you Smoking

[pandoraroid]

The Pack Wedding 💥💥💥💗💥

reaction rambles bc yes

please keep in mind this is meant to be lighthearted i love these men with all my heart n life n soul

THIS IS 43 MINUTES IM SO SCARED WHY CANT I PRESS THE VIDEO this is too much nervousness for seven in the morning im dead

DAVEEEYYYYY HIIIIIII GMORNING MWAAAA

"it's the pack everything's gonna go crazy." bro it's the SHAW pack what does that say about you hm 🤔 /j i love you david 

"reception's gonna be a solstice party on steriods" I SNORTED SO DAMN LOUD 😭

now should be a good time to say that part of the reason why i like redacted so much is because it's so funny and lines like that do it for me every single time.

"i love you angel so very much" BOOGSH 💥 im so in love with you david shaw 

i think bro's in love with us guys idk 

"beautiful... you.." NO YOU 🫵 david we are not doing this back in forth in the morning JUST ACCEPT IT

he's triggering my cuteness/love aggression SO FUCKING SAPPY I LUV U MWAH

"you fucking menace c'mere" HIS LAUGH OMFG GOOD FUCKINH MORNINGGGG

IS ASHER NEXT PLEASE TELL ME HE'S NEXT 

MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

"oh fuck it's the day" me just this morning

"asher breathe we're good you've been training for this your whole life" ELABORATE???? id love to know how exactly youve been training for this asher

"it's our wedding day. holy shit it's our wedding day. i'm gonna be a husband." KILLL MEEE RIGHT NOW I CAN HEAR HIM SMILEEE OMFG WEAR THAT SHIT WITH PRIDE ASHER

"i've always been husband material look at what we're working with" KILL ME RIGHT NOW /pos baabe smacking him though HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

id kiss you for the rest of my life asher

laughing against/while kissing THIS MAN WANTS ME DEAD

"say how much time do we have before we meet everybody in the lobby" LET THEM FUCKING WAIT

MILO AND SAM???? OH MY GOD???? (should go without fucking saying but... drive safe..... please...)

in my head: sam is driving. david's shotgun. ash & milo are in the back. just because. >> BRO I WAS RIGHT????

darlin driving in another car with the other mates??? that... isnt what i think it is.... is it......

david sounds so tired of their bs HAHAHA "rounded out with a little traditional opinion from them of all people" DARLIN FIGHT BACK

"hey we're fun too, right?" ASHER PLEASE

"well let's see: we've got a grouchy grandpa drivin us-" 

"hey." 

"at least he didn't call you cowboy." BRO

"now don't you start." 

"and we got the grumpy alpha."

"i'm not grumpy. just preoccupied."

"right. right." bros didnt even try to sound convinced

"we're fun." 

"asher. we spent your bachelor party playing destiny 2." 

"and smash!" 

"oh my mistake."

this entire conversation. peak.

"i dont even wanna imagine what chaos those four are getting up to piled in one vehicle." OH WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO SAM 

DEAD ASS SILENCE I LOVE IT i cant fycking breathe this is too funny.

in my head, they were definitely arguing over directions. or darlin's driving, or making fun of the other car.

wait darlin what

"or you'll likely end up staring down the maw of my own beautiful mate-" SAMUEL COLLINS

"oh move it mr. wedding day" WHY DOES THAT SOUND SO GOOD

"and fix your hair."

"it's suppose to look like this!"

"are you trying to look like you got married in a wind tunnel?" BRO NOT ON HIS WEDDING DAY 💀

sam encouraging milo omgomg

"you talk more than anyone i know. and i know asher." AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

"is my tie on straight?" 

"is it ever?" is the one wearing it straight /jjjj

david helping him with his tie someone kill me right now

GABE'S CHILI RECIPE WHAT

"why did you pick me?" OH SHIT

i seriously just listened and payed attention to their conversation so no thoughts head empty only them

"what really mattered in a beta was having a person that was the other side of your coin."

"i picked you because you were the one person i trusted more than anyone else. you made me feel safe at a time more than i couldve explained. you were everything i wasnt. where i was distant you were outgoing. where i was rough you were warm. where i was analytical you were intuitive. you're the other side of my coin. you always have been. so it never mattered to me what anyone else thought of what i needed in a beta because they didnt know me. i did. you did. and i needed the person that was right for me not for anybody else."

i couldve typed out everything david said but THIS!!!! I WAS SOBBING!!!! THEY ARE THE OTHER SIDE OF OTHER'S COIN NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!!!!! their vows to each other fr

this is wrecking me THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH

"you're too hard on yourself too."

"well we had to have something in common other than destiny and smash bros, right?" the range of friendship everyone 

THEYRE HOLDING BACK TEARS IN THIS ONE TRUST ME 

my heart felt so heavy in this WHY

"i think you're the best fucking beta i could have ever asked for. i think you're the besy friend i could have ever asked for. i deserved most of the time."

aaaanndd got heavier 😁

GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG

"i just feel bad that i'm going to be up there looking this good y'know people are going to get confused on whose wedding day it really is." EAT EM UP SWEETHEART (i meant milo but them too ofc)

"do we get a step stool for behind the podium?" HAHSHAHAHAHHA THE CONCERN IN HIS VOICE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

"i love you milo"

"i love you too asshole" CRYING 

"thank you for doing this milo"

"i got you. always." ALWAYS.

CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY 

"when i was asked by my friends to officiate their unions, i only had one question for them: how much does it pay?" ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

im really listening on this part so head empty.

oohh asher (i think it's asher) laughing through baabe's vows IS SO SWEET I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL

OH DAVID GETTING CHOKED UP ON ANGEL'S VOWS KILL ME

"you're the best part of me. and i'll spend the rest of our lives showing that i'm worthy of that." oh david shaw you dont even have to try

"i now pronounce you all married the-the pairs of you to each other not all together" OH THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO LET HIM LIVE THAT DOWN

THE KISSES OMMMGGGKFHEKHEJSS 

CONGRATULATIONS ANGEL & DAVID

CONGRATUALTIONS BABE & ASHER MWAAAAAAAAHH TO ALL OF YOUUU

[mossymandibles]

Forgot to add to the last ask- the otter comic says Kraw is a chimera, is that a natural species or are chimeras created somehow? Because otter grandpa said they're sterile and that happens to some non-natural animal combos irl. Also is his brother a chimera as well?

After just finding out about mayv and the way she looks, it made me think that chimeras are made by witches and not a natural species so I'm super curious now because why did somebody do that to those 2 kids if that's the case :(

In Hallowed Carrion chimera/Chimereals happen between two ‘primordial’ species that couldn’t normally mate, but it involves a ‘false uterus’ created by consuming the celestial body’s flesh. With Kraw it was his sea drake mother and Fury father. (They’re considered to be ‘primordial’ simply because they’ve been around for quite some time, live longer and are usually giants. Most modern day islanders don’t believe/know their kind exists, kind of like how we are with modern conspiracies of the ‘megalodon still existing in the marianna trench’).

It is a trait among chimereals that they are sterile. They’re also known by their abnormal growth hormones which causes them to keep growing/evolving for who knows how long. There’s actually a lot of prejudice held against them and they don’t often live in regular society like Kraw does, they’re usually considered dangerous and they’re often loners.

Most of this is only known because of Sylvaine learning about Serkan who is also a chimereal, albeit much older than Kraw. She’s actively studying chimereals through Kraw now. (He was actually very upset to learn he was sterile :(

And I’ve wanted to show more about Titus! It’s hard to balance my attention to everything lol.

Titus is also a chimereal. He was born on a specialized mill where they attempted to breed marine chimereals like him for hunting purposes. Most chimereals that come out of the mills end up dead, malformed or ‘defective’, so he was ‘lucky’. He also would have had the ability to breathe fire, but his flint glands were removed, like declawing a cat. He was kind of mean and he certainly had it harder than Kraw with Mayv. She didn’t even know he could speak when she first got him because his throat was fucked after they cut his flint glands out. He was about 7 when she got him and he was already known to be unruly/uncontrollable in the mill. They would have put him down if Mayv hadn’t come along. She took care of him though despite keeping a firm hand and eventually he came to see her as a surrogate mother.

He definitely got a jealous streak when she brought Kraw home. Mayv would often be fawning over how Kraw “came from the sea, so he would make such a great hunter and how beautiful his colors were and-“ blah blah blaaah. Titus hadn’t even seen the sea until Mayv rescued him, and he thought Kraw was just a little ‘flat-faced softie’. He would often goad him into fights. There’s a lot more to it, but eventually he and Kraw came to find their similarities, mostly through comforting each other through night terrors and exploring the swamps together.

Although Mayv also saw them like her own sons, she often towed the line between training them like animals and treating them like regular children. She was of course still very loving but it was often muddled by her militant expectations of them out on the ocean. Titus and Kraw worked for Mayv as ‘mer-hounds’, which are marine creatures that are trained to effectively hunt and catch mermaids or other large oceanic game, sort of like how some fishermen would use ducks. That was what the mills were breeding marine creatures for.

As of present day, a lot had gone down between Kraw and his brother, and a lot happened where Kraw had to leave the Shades as well. Kraw doesn’t know what’s become of his brother and whether or not Mayv is even alive. I do plan to get into that.

I can show you a sort of wip I have of him, but he might get a bit of a cleanup? Just because this is older art. I had planned to make growth charts for he and Kraw for a while now. Awkward teenage years and such.

[demonsfate]

anonymous sent . . . I remember one of the girls I used to be friends with in high school kept mercilessly hating on Jin Kazama and she always called him "selfish", "war criminal", and "autistic n*zi". She was an insane Ragna the Bloodedge and Sasuke Uchiha fangirl who got pissy that someone on twitter/reddit/youtube dare compare two characters she loves to a character she hates. She one day went on a tangent saying something like "Sasuke Uchiha deserves better than being compared to Jin!!! Sasuke risked his life to save Naruto's ass in the Land of Waves arc, Sasuke only killed like what 3 people (danzo, orochimaru and deidara are bad ppl anyways), and Sasuke loves his beloved Uchiha family and wants to avenge them. Jin is a selfish sociopath who wants to kill his entire bloodline because of 2 people and he showed no remorse for killing Jinpachi and millions of people!!! Jin doesn't give a shit about Hwoarang, he would let Hwoarang die like how he left Hwoarang to rot after Hwoarang risked his life to save him in Tekken 7!! Jin never suffered in life as much as Sasuke, Jin got to live a normal childhood with his mom for 15 years, got to live in some fancy rich ass mansion with his grandpa, and his mom was actually alive all along and came back anyways!! Sasuke was a child abuse victim who was tortured by his older brother when he was only 7 years old, lived life alone in an abandoned home where his parents died, and Sasuke's dead Uchiha clan never got revived they're still dead. Ragna erased himself from existence to protect those he loves and give humanity a good future!!! Ragna should not compared to Jin either!!". She fucking drew poorly drawn fanart of Sasuke decapitating Jin Mortal Kombat fatality style, and then making out with Kazuya in front of Jin's corpse. Don't worry, I'm no longer friends with her. Sadly this girl and other ppl hating on him saying "haha emo edgelored"/"war" jokes for the billionth time gave me very negative first impressions of Jin back then. Now after I finally started getting into Tekken playing Tekken 8 and the older games like Tekken 2, 3, 4, and 5 and learning that it's Harada's fault for fucking up his character in Tekken 6 to prop up Lars and Jin was OOC in that game compared to his character depiction in previous games - he's now my second favorite character in Tekken behind Lili. It pisses me off too, he's not selfish because he saved Hwoarang in Tekken 4 and he is shown to be supportive of people (supportive of Xiaoyu in her Tekken 4 ending, and he's also supportive of Phoenix Wright in Project X Zone 2).

Honestly hearing stories like this makes me glad I was homeschooled lol. Like OKAY I def knew ppl like this as a teenager, but only online, through the interwebs!! I've been blessed to have never known other teens like this irl LOL. And honestly, maybe it's just me but... I never get viciously hating FICTIONAL CHARACTERS to the point of drawing hate art of it or whatnot. Or to those nasty rpers who will actually follow the character they hate, just to have their muse be cruel to that character or even kill 'em or whatever. It's just... I can't imagine doing it! I don't think I have any characters in mind that I legit hate. Not even the bad ones that I don't like. I just don't like them and that's it lol. And I know these were high schoolers, but like... I don't even remember being like that during my teen years either. I might've been a lil like that as a kid as I was more annoying as a child (we all were lol) but... I still don't really remember haha.

Also Jin didn't want to kill his ENTIRE bloodline lol. Like iirc, even in 6, I don't think he's ever tried to seriously kill Lars? (Could be wrong about that I legit don't remember lol lol) Like Jin wanted to kill Heihachi and Kazuya because at the time, he legit thought they were the ONLY ones of the bloodline (along with himself) and well... they were time proven to be EVIL, therefore... yes, Jin was right, his entire bloodline (except for himself) was evil at the time lol. That was before Jinpachi and Lars were properly introduced in the series.

AND LIKE. LIKE. Some ppl do talk about how it's weird that Jin never showed remorse for killing Jinpachi but LIKE. I am pretty sure it's CANON that JINPACHI IS GRATEFUL TO JIN. Much like how Jin wanted to kill himself in TK4 to stop his Devil from taking over, Jinpachi wanted to be killed to stop the monster / demon possessing him from destroying the world. Like canonically, it was something both Jin and Jinpachi knew had to happen.

I get tired of those acting like Jin never "suffered." It's like yeah, Jin DID have a good childhood up until he was 15 years old. Jin still spend most of his teen years being abused by an old wrinkly fuck, only to be killed by said old wrinkly fuck. Of course, the stupid game's writing did ruin a lot of Jin's suffering. (His mother isn't actually dead, so like... yeah. But I guess he still grieved her and she's been missing for years. His devil isn't actually bad so he was rejecting something that was actually beneficial LOL LOL LOL) But... that's just Tek writing for you. If we forget a lot of the stupid retcons, we can say Jin had a good amount of suffering. HELL, he was created TO BE a tragic hero.

I'm not gonna go on to explain, but I have stated on this blog many reasons why the "Jin is selfish / doesn't care about anyone" has always been a misconception, even prior to Tekken 8 where he gets a lotta friend buddies. But I am glad he's one of your favorites lol. Really, I feel like MORE people would love Jin if they actually looked at him with critical thinking, rather than just... accept the rancid writing of Tek6 and be like "yup, he's a bad character!" Like Jin's a REALLY damn good character prior to Tek6. And when ppl actually look back on those games, play his stories, really pay attention to his character, they would know that.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Welcome to Absolute Zero Day aka Yes, I'm still watching this show Day aka I'm dead inside Wednesday.

I am well aware that no ones cares anymore but sharing this is helping me keep my sanity through the show.

Here we go again…

FYI we are with the kids now.

One of them is telling the other one what will happen if they keep seeing each other. Really doesn't matter which one at this point. Just pick one.

One of them starts crying, now the other. Now they're hugging each other and crying.

I can't stand the music or the heartbeat sound anymore. I know it's suppose to elicit some kinda emotion on me but nope. I'm dead inside.

Now one of the adults is crying, if you guessed Soon you were correct. yawn Now we get to be reminded about Adult soon and young Ongsa. Yey.

More crying.

OK. Stop. I need to say this. The episode is at 18 min. But really 16 minutes because of the previous and the credits. Of those more than 6 minutes were crying. 6 MINUTES OF CRYING IN 16 MINUTES OF EPISODE. This might be some kind of record. (and yes I timed it because I knew it was coming and I might as well do something)

But wait... that's not all...

Cause there was not enough real time crying, let's have a flashback to the crying we saw not 10 minutes ago. Dead inside.

This is what? the 3rd time I'm watching Ongsa watching Love of Siam?? if they removed half the crying from this show I could've watched all these movies. if I stopped watching the show right now I could watch anything else.

Who the hell is grandpa? How does he know all this? And can he please tell us???

Well with only 2 more episodes left, I should hope so.

The letter still exists. I'm ignoring the paradox. I've abandoned all hope that this will ever make any sense. And we're back at the cinema and now with adult Ongsa.

Adult Ongsa is now crying.

So Adult Ongsa is just gonna ask everybody is they know a person named Suansoon? (if you're curious the answer is no) So now in this present, and by present I mean where we started this wonderful journey, 2018, they are not together.

Oh the amazing butterfly is back. Great. And next week they'll meet as adults. I can't wait.

(I just wanna say to whoever abandoned this ship early, like @lurkingshan and @bengiyo and I'm sure many others, you have my admiration and respect and I wish I was half as sane as you)

[anukkuna]

Vincent's Ring

Alright people... I got headcanons on Vincent's ring but most of them are a bit tragic! My mushy brain can't decide what it likes best... and I'd love to hear if any of you got similar ones?

(trigger warning: mentions of mental health and family issues & suicide as well as a spoiler warning for the latest episodes)

1. It's a wedding ring, but V's spouse passed away

Meaning: Vincent is a widower. In my hc V was married (maybe legally, maybe not; it might just have been an informal ceremony, doesn't matter) to another queer/enby/trans person but their spouse died. I felt like V was quite affected by Dirk's choice to jump at the End of "Abrgund"... maybe because their spouse took their own life (which can be quite hard on the one who feels left behind). They might feel guilty, like they didn't watch out for their spouse enough or like they weren't good enough. That might have been part of the trauma Vincent had to work through. (Might also explain why V was so angry with the manipulative culprit in "Gott des Bankrotts" for how the guy pressured all these people to take their lives). Anyway V loved their partner and always wanted to keep them close to heart.

Part of that hc for me is that Vincent's spouse's biological family wasn't supportive of them at all... neither as a person nor of their relationship with Vincent (like: very queerphobic and maybe religious parents) and Vincent tried to be their rock but ultimately their spouse decided to leave this world anyway.

Because Vincent had to deal with someone leaving and feeling so bad about it once before... well, Adam leaving just hit the same spot. On the one hand V's is like 'oh fuck, not this again, why me, why can't I be enough, why didn't I see the signs, why didn't I help him more' - on the other hand they're like 'I know, if someone really wants to leave there simply is no way to stop them and I have to respect their choice'... so Vincent already has some tools to deal with the feeling.

2. It's a (dead) family member's ring

I actually like this hc better than the first one because it's a little less dark, but since Vincent kissed the ring in "Abgrund" I'm not so sure... anyway: here the ring would belong to a family member like a parent or a grandparent.

Maybe, Vincent had a grandpa or grandma who loved them dearly and was always supportive of them, even though they were by far no ordinary or gender-conforming kid. The respective spouse (so, depending on what you choose the matching grandma / grandpa) was grandpa's one true love. Grandpa is very romantic and was maybe the odd one out himself as a kid... but he encourages Vincent to always be himself. Grandma was his one true love and when Grandpa dies, Vincent keeps this ring to remember him and how he believed in him - and in true love.

Another version of this hc is that the ring belonged to a parent gone missing or passed away. More likely V's mother... and when their dad remarried, Vincent asked for the ring to keep her memory.

3. The self-love head canon

A bit strange, maybe, but the most positive one. Here, Vincent's family was quite religious and V was supposed to marry rather young (maybe someone was picked from the religious community, maybe there was not specific partner picked at the time, dunno). However, V realized that they couldn't live this life any longer and they ran away from home and only took the few belongings they had with them. They ended up in Berlin, maybe graduaded there, studied psychology but later decided to become a cop to stand up for those in need (and ofc at some point in Berlin Vincent met Adam Schürk).

Now, why would Vincent wear the ring around their neck and even kiss it? After all, it was supposed to be a wedding ring for a forced marriage. Well, V keeps it as a reminder to always love yourself, to listen to what your heart tells you and to free yourself if needed.

4. Vincent is actually a Hobbit and on the road to Mordor

Selfexplanatory... and V certainly has the hair for it. (And have you seen the Gollum rendition... Queen, I cannot...)

Sooooo... what did I miss? Which headcanons are already out there??

(Gerne auch auf Deutsch und ich kann's auch auf Dt. nochmal erläutern, falls Bedarf ist.)

[ihatehannibal]

trauma dumping bc I can't afford therapy

thinking about how I didn't even say our dad was abusive to us out loud even once until I was like 21 (or think it, honestly), which was a full 7 years after he was out of our house for good. and when I did finally say it my sister replied with "no, we weren't abused, he had a temper but that isn't abuse" & then I internalized that for a few more years. I still have moments where I doubt my own perception of what happened & need a reality check, to see it all laid out so I can pretend it happened to someone else & be like "yeah okay of course it was abuse". I can't really put this anywhere else but here

I remember at least 2 occasions where my mom definitely thought my dad was going to kill us all. the first one was especially terrifying bc I was younger, he broke down a door (not just broke through thr lock, I mean he kicked the door until it splintered to pieces as if it had exploded) to get to where my mom had us all hidden, locked in her room. & when the banging of him kicking the door started she began frantically apologizing immediately through her tears & I sensed her fear & knew instinctively what she thought was about to happen. I was 10 at that time I think, my siblings were 8 & 6. my memory blacks out at his silhouette appearing in the threshold so I dunno what happened next but later said that he thought that /she/ was killing /us/ and that's why he broke down the door but that is the most ridiculous lie I've ever heard. he knows damn well she would never harm a hair on our heads.

the second occasion my mom thought he was going to kill us was when I was 14 and it was only a year after the family annihilation happened to our friends, which was committed by the father-who my mom & aunts had known since they were teenagers-so it made that seem much more real & plausible to us all. my (9 at the time) brother did something, I don't even remember but it was probably just normal child misbehaving, & it made my dad so mad that he started chasing him around the house screaming that he was going to kill him, my mom yelled for my brother to run as far away as possible so he left the house and ran down the street & my mom and sister were physically holding my dad back so that he couldn't go after him, but he pushed both of them to the ground and got outside. luckily my brother was out of sight by then, hiding in our neighbors bushes. I had called the cops but he was miraculously very calm when they arrived, as usual. after that my mom never let him live with us again & he went off and shacked up with his current wife before the divorce papers were even served. not even gonna get into how fucked up that whole situation was.

those are the big occasions but god there was so much in between. he was really jekyll & hyde, the second he lost his temper he became something very terrifying. he and my mom had screaming matches long into the night very often, usually about stuff he was doing to us (he believed in corporal punishment, not closed fist beatings or anything but spanking and hitting us with spatulas and such, and he was always full of rage when he did it so it hurt a lot & scared us) and she almost never let us be alone with him, another relative would always have to be there supervising.

then of course there was the religious shit, obviously, I've talked about it before. he told me from the time I was 4 or 5 that I shouldn't focus on what I wanted to be when I grow up cuz the world was going to end before I reached adulthood & I had to be a soldier for god in the apocalypse, which could happen at any moment so I had to be prepared. oh and that everyone i loved-my whole family except him-would be dragged to hell to be tortured for eternity, that my dead grandpa who I was very close to was already there for being a catholic rather than a fundie, & that I'd go to hell if I didn't listen to him. he said he was trying to save me. my mom had to find this out from my therapist when I was in first grade & she lost it. she has since told me that she would have left him right then if she didnt have a 3 kids under 7 at the time & no way of supporting us alone. another harmful thing he tried to force on us was of course the belief that gay people are broken & need to be fixed or they'll go to hell. as someone who realized I liked girls as a preteen that obviously was hard to hear. my brother is gay too & I know it's affected him badly.

I was a really troubled child & I guess it makes sense given the horrible anxiety he instilled in me plus I was seeing psychiatrists from as early as 5 for my ocd & depression. I got my autism dx (well, aspergers, since that was still a clinical term back then) around that time too. school was hellish bc people ostracized & mocked me for being a mute & wearing the same clothes every day due to sensory issues. I had no friends at all for a few years. I hit puberty really early & got groped by a few boys so that was just great. I was also the tallest person in my class until 7th grade when the boys started growing which while not traumatic kind of sucked bc I felt like a hulking giant when all I wanted to do was hide. I eventually learned to mask, forced myself to talk more & made friends with other unpopular girls at school. safety in numbers (by high school I stopped giving a shit about what anyone thought so that was good).

I was medicated for the first time at 12 when my intrusive thoughts got worse & I tried to kill myself, from then on they just kept adding more diagnoses and more pills from 12-16ish. bipolar, like my dad & uncle (who has since killed himself). I started using food as a coping mechanism around age 14 & developed various eating disorders that extend to this day, which probably also originated in my fathers fear that we would be fat like everyone on my mom's side & his control over our eating (he wouldn't even let me have cupcakes if someone brought them to school for a bday party, he told my teachers I had allergies that I don't have). I slit up my arms for awhile in my late teens and early 20s as a way to stop panic attacks. I dropped out of college. I became a drug addict. never had sex or a proper long term relationship & probably never will bc I don't like being emotionally or physically vulnerable. I know it has a lot to do with the way I was treated as a kid. I took a test once & it said I have an avoidant attachment style which is very accurate. apparently that happens when a child grows up not feeling safe with one or both parents.

reading this back I still immediately think "well others had it worse so maybe it wasn't REAL abuse. maybe I don't have C-PTSD." like no matter what my brain just won't accept my reality

[borathae]

Chapter 4

ooh looks like he is a gentleman

You can see it in the way he looks at his knees ever so often. dont tell me he slept

HE DID AHAHAH PLS this is peak comedy for me, idk i had this image of "ooh mysterious ancient being, must find sleep, and other stuff as something for the weak", basically a grandpa on him. (i see yoongi like that from reading the drabbles, but now that im reading it, tae felt like that in 1st chapter lol)

Of course not, I was merely resting my eyes” ofc i believe you, u were having a meditating/communicating with your ancestors moment

As if he doesn’t even notice his hand touching you the way it does. STOP I LITERALLY DIE EVERYTIME THIS HAPPENS WHEN IM READING LIKE AAAAAH *bites, slaps, giggles, fans myself, pretends to be dead soo much ah

Your chest heaves up and down in a heavy breath, your legs parting slightly. sis is gone already. mood

Come go with me. I SAID I HAVE NO TIME HEE HEE

Taehyung placed his hand on your thigh instead. OH NO HE IS GETTING DANGEROUS

Your nails dig into the edge of the seat, her: (literally made it, if only i had this devotion in my studies 😭)

Taehyung’s delight as another smirk washes over his face. He stops moving, the only sensation he allows you to feel is his big, warm hand against your inner thigh SDTOP I CANT HANDLE HIS ASS I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE THE FAKE GUM CHEWING AAAH

Tapping on your inner thigh rhythmical AAAAH WE MUST STAY FOCUSED BROTHER

Stay, fellow, I can read. I DOUBT I CAN IM LOSING MY SANITU

“Are you alright?” he rasps DO U THINK IM OK?????

My master’s. THAT FAST?? really said wanna see some speed?

You whine at the loss of touch, pulling at his necktie. PULLING NECKTIE WWWOOOO IM SQUIRTING

The door, which normally always squeaks, opens silently when Taehyung opens it mythical being or has strict parents pt 3 (pt 2 during the date)

I want to devour you.” yn my love, what if he actually does 😭(missed the vore tag on ao3 once and i have ptsd from that)

You’ll probably call me crazy but I named all of my houseplants after famous painters TAE MOVE UR ASS, SHE'S MINE WE ARE MARRIED BYE

Just mere seconds ago it felt like he wanted to devour you whole and now here he is, as patient as ever.  i take that back, we can be a throuple

I didn’t even hear you come outside mythical being or has strict parents pt 4

It’s one of those weirdly dishonest smiles again. maybe he is in lactose intolerant and is worried destroying ur toilet with the volcanic diarrhea

It makes you look so perfectly alive." THATS EXACTLY WHAT A VAMPIRE WOULD SAY. i would have said that tho lol

I guess you are right. What a silly thing for me to say."  OFC ITS VERY SILLY CUZ U IS MR.DRACULA

“Actually this is just a myth some misogynistic doctors made up in the sixteenth century to shame women for having sex”, SLAY now marry me

“so enjoy it ___ for as long and as passionate as you can.” THATS WHAT A GRANDPA WOULD SAY or A VAMPIRE

I am glad that you aren’t pretending with me hold ur horses he didnt say he is 95% honest, also the 5% could be more shocking than the 95%

swirling the tea in his cup with a flick of his wrist. LOOK AT DA FLICKA DA WRIST

My dream is to own a really big greenhouse. THE GARDEN IN THE DRABBLE

“you’re not having a heart attack, are you?” damn grandpa is dying (im sorry i had to)

OH SHIT WHATS GOING ON?? did she put some anti-mythical being stuff in the tea?

0-100 real quick

she is so cute im feeling it soo well, you wrote those parts well. it made me feel like im intruding them

Throw it on the floor *starts throwing it back Tae: i meant the tie me: oh sorry, silly me

that wasnt me, that was the demons bye

He has a really nice spine, my bestie to me - your spine is ... um how do i put it to words, spines very well. i will definitely count them for anatomy 💀💀LIKE STOP AT LEAST ITS BETTER COMPARED TO 4TH GRADE

thankfully Taehyung can’t read minds because this was one silly thought. you sure about that? u sure about that??👀👀

OH MY GOD HE IS IRRESISTIBLE LIKE STOP JUST AAAAH

Dearmotherofchrist what the hell? Okay, goodbye cruel world this is how you will die. PLS 😭😭

This is madness. Heaven. ME AT YOU POOKIE

besides, we have many more occasions to practice your stamina SUCH A TEASE AAH

im sick and feeling cold. guess who isnt cold anymore cuz they are reading a smexy, gobsmacking as usual smut by THE MOMMY, SIBI?? ME YALL. a hoe(mentally) doesnt get cold, until they get runny nose.

don’t rip it because this cost like forty bucks” WE LOVE REALISTIC SMUT HERE

He scissors them, fucking in and out of you slowly. His teeth craze over your nipple before he bites down. poeple died sir I DIED

During class, on the bus, whilst talking to people. same here girly pop, relatable after reading smut

watching you be like this drives me crazy I AM CRAZY

me: i hope i dont fall him: he praises me: ana oop

It is a stupid name, but it has never been more accurate than tonight. no it aint stupid when true af

"Hold me"..“That’s it, draw me in deeper. Keep me there” bye i will be jumping off the cliff(my bed's name)

seven matches this soo well, cuz its sexy but very romantic

that was too hot until u think (wait this is bts songs in a nutshell)

 oh boi tae is just trying feel humanity, life, and the whole "live in the moment", "yolo" by asking to hold closer and feel what she is feeling

horny - sad real quick. (bts albums and playlists be like)

Sex is merely a wonderful byproduct from being with you. You have truly bewitched me, body and soul” this is too good holy fuck

reminds me of blood sweat and tears lines and the whole mood is hold me tight

they are soo cute, being all warm and cozy with each other.

shitting tears as we speak bye,

the emotions were emotioning, smut smuting (do i even have to say about this anymore lol) i love how your smut isnt just focused on sexy parts, emotionally, yes very much connected and love it and also shows other parts, like its soo easy to have the entire view from pillow to toes, with lil frames with focused parts.

now that we still havent seen 2seokkook, its making more nervous like

EXCUSE ME??GOOGLE JUST VIOLATED ME 💀

HE DID AHAHAH PLS this is peak comedy for me, idk i had this image of "ooh mysterious ancient being, must find sleep, and other stuff as something for the weak", basically a grandpa on him. (i see yoongi like that from reading the drabbles, but now that im reading it, tae felt like that in 1st chapter lol)

this is actually so funny HAHHAHAH he is always acting like such a well-put mysterious man and then he is sleeping in class BHAHAHAHAH

As if he doesn’t even notice his hand touching you the way it does. STOP I LITERALLY DIE EVERYTIME THIS HAPPENS WHEN IM READING LIKE AAAAAH *bites, slaps, giggles, fans myself, pretends to be dead soo much ah

this is so valid HE IS SO HOT LIKE SIR PLEASE FADNFDSN

Taehyung’s delight as another smirk washes over his face. He stops moving, the only sensation he allows you to feel is his big, warm hand against your inner thigh SDTOP I CANT HANDLE HIS ASS I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE THE FAKE GUM CHEWING AAAH

the gum chewing pisses me off with any other person BUT ITS SO HOT WHEN HE DOES IT LIKE PLEASE KEEP DOING IT SIR IMMA SUCK YOUR COCK

You whine at the loss of touch, pulling at his necktie. PULLING NECKTIE WWWOOOO IM SQUIRTING

jajdfj valid.

I want to devour you.” yn my love, what if he actually does 😭(missed the vore tag on ao3 once and i have ptsd from that)

NO BUT WHAT IF??? oh god hahhaha I feel you I once missed the impregnation tag and actually triggered myself when he started speaking about putting babies in her like BACK OFF ILL BITE YOUR BALLS OFF

It’s one of those weirdly dishonest smiles again. maybe he is in lactose intolerant and is worried destroying ur toilet with the volcanic diarrhea

PLEASE hhahahhaha this would be so iconic of him tbfh

“Actually this is just a myth some misogynistic doctors made up in the sixteenth century to shame women for having sex”, SLAY now marry me

he is SO HOT I need him to fuc-

My dream is to own a really big greenhouse. THE GARDEN IN THE DRABBLE

👀👀👀👀

OH SHIT WHATS GOING ON?? did she put some anti-mythical being stuff in the tea?

THAT IS A VERY GOOD QUESTION INDEED

He has a really nice spine, my bestie to me - your spine is ... um how do i put it to words, spines very well. i will definitely count them for anatomy 💀💀LIKE STOP AT LEAST ITS BETTER COMPARED TO 4TH GRADE

LISTEN. don't judge me but I genuinely think that spines (inside the body where they're supposed to be) can be so sexy like if someone has a nice spine I just wanna trace and lick and kiss and touch it like-

thankfully Taehyung can’t read minds because this was one silly thought. you sure about that? u sure about that??👀👀

THE RIGHT QUESTION INDEED

im sick and feeling cold. guess who isnt cold anymore cuz they are reading a smexy, gobsmacking as usual smut by THE MOMMY, SIBI?? ME YALL. a hoe(mentally) doesnt get cold, until they get runny nose.

I gain ten years of life each time one of you calls me Mommy HAHHAHA like yes I am indeed mother HFAHDSF

don’t rip it because this cost like forty bucks” WE LOVE REALISTIC SMUT HERE

BAHHAHAHAH I LOVE REALISM

me: i hope i dont fall him: he praises me: ana oop

BITCH (affectionate) SAME HOLY FUCK praise works so well with me like it got me thinking about the person for the next five weeks for real

 oh boi tae is just trying feel humanity, life, and the whole "live in the moment", "yolo" by asking to hold closer and feel what she is feeling

*sobs*

reminds me of blood sweat and tears lines and the whole mood is hold me tight

OMFG I LOVE THIS THANK YOU

shitting tears as we speak bye,

hahahhaa shitting tears jfadsjf

the emotions were emotioning, smut smuting (do i even have to say about this anymore lol) i love how your smut isnt just focused on sexy parts, emotionally, yes very much connected and love it and also shows other parts, like its soo easy to have the entire view from pillow to toes, with lil frames with focused parts.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAYING THIS!!! that's exactly what I want most of my smut to be for 😭😭😭

[mx-lamour]

Hauntings of the Mind

Some personal meta/background for Bloodstain/"It's all right." (and that last sonnet):

My best friend and guardian died when I was 8-1/2 years old. At night, before I fell asleep, I would usually see him walk past my door, doing his rounds of the house to make sure everything was as it should be.

I watched him die. It wasn't my hand that killed him, wasn't even my choice to make, but somehow I felt responsible. It wasn't even my first dead body, or even my first dead loved one, but it was the first time I'd witnessed the spark of life leave someone's eyes. The first time I'd felt the breath leave someone's body under my touch and not come back.

When I tell you my best friend and guardian was a cat, it doesn't matter. When I tell you he was 18 years old and ready to go, it doesn't matter.

I bargained with whatever god would listen to give him back to me. He wasn't even mine; he'd been my dad's best friend since he was a kitten. My pleas went unanswered.

My mom has told me her story of taking care of her father through his struggle with cancer. There came a point when it was clear he was never going to make it, but it was near Christmas time, and my grandpa was a stubborn fiend who refused to die on what was supposed to be a joyful occasion.

When January came, my mom bravely went to him and said, "It's okay, Dad. You can go now."

That was my first funeral. I was two years old then. And, according to my mom, I wouldn't leave the casket's side. This explains why I have such a vivid memory of looking down on my grandpa's waxlike hands holding a red rose. My grandpa loved roses. He tended them.

That's beside the point.

Around the time I was 13, I started having dreams that someday I would have to kill my romantic partner, whoever that would be. It wasn't so self-direct. I was a daydreamer and a reader of books, so I would make up stories. But sometimes they were only scenes.

And one of those scenes which plagued me was the image of someone kissing their lover, then stabbing him in the gut. They didn't want to do it; they had to. Tears streaking down their face, they apologized while the dying one looked on in shock.

I never really made the connection as to why.

Now, I'm married to a man who is nearly always struggling. He's chronically ill and terribly intelligent and horribly depressed. Inside of all that muck is a sweet, imaginative little boy who long ago lost his brother and his faith in all things. Now a grown man, he's also practical. Pessimistic. A bit obsessive-compulsive. He DM'd our Curse of Strahd campaign.

We both fear abandonment.

When his thoughts have taken a dark turn, as they sometimes do, he considers giving himself over to death. To not have to try anymore.

Early on, this terrified me. "But I'm here," I would think, never realizing my mistake, that it had never helped before.

And sometimes that image would come back to me unbidden: Would I have to kill him myself one day? If I couldn't bear the thought of him hurting himself, but if there was also little choice left in the matter, would I do the work for him, to retain some modicum of agency in our doomed relationship? There seemed to be little else I could do.

This was, of course, very distorted thinking. And I never did do that thing, and I suspect we never will go through that. We're getting better. And we're changing side-by-side.

But there were several times, probably yearly if I would have been keeping track, possibly close to the anniversary of his brother's death, when I wondered if and when I would be forced to put the man I love out of his misery.

Because I know what grief is. And I know regret, and rage, and despair. I know it hurts. And I know it's exhausting. I know.

And with the amount of perseveration that goes on in my anxious autistic head (or did, especially before I'd done any real healing, myself) I know that the inability to fix your own tragic mistakes, to correct for factors you couldn't have known about is devastating.

I know how an event can haunt you into eternity, throwing you into a repeat of that same moment, again and again, from something so little as the passing of a number on a calendar page, and still leave you bereft of any real closure.

The window glass is so horrifying because, even though you can see tragedy unfolding on the other side, there is little you can do about what you cannot touch, whether what you're reaching for is the past itself or the despair clouding another person's mind and heart.

[nysocboy]

The White Lotus: The Devil produces a series loaded-down with gay stereotypes

So I wasn't sure about the HBO Max series White Lotus, set in a beach resort in Italy.  But someone told me that there were gay characters in Season 2, so here goes, Episode 2.1:

Scene 1: A beach resort featuring bikini models sitting under umbrellas.  A woman with her breasts hanging out of her swimsuit starts a conversation with two women who just arrived from America.  She's leaving in a few hours, but she praises the hotel, the staff, the food, and the wine.  So she spent her entire trip on a beach that looks like every beach everywhere?  Why not try to actually see the country?  Her semi-bare butt goes into the water for one last swim -- and she bumps into a dead body!

Cut to hotel staff Rocco and Valencia watching body bags being hauled away.  Several bodies of guests have turned up!

Scene 2:  A week earlier.  Two heterosexual couples on a boat, one distant and arguing, the other snuggling, kissing, and nose-rubbing.  Then a depressed woman, Allora, walking through town.  Her friend Mia asks what's wrong: "Massimo has a new girlfriend, and I'm jealous."  Mia drags her away: it's almost time for the boat to arrive.  So is this a flashback in a flashback, before the girls get on the boat with the heterosexual couples?

A boat arriving while the staff waves.  "Smiles, everyone, smiles!'   Allora and Mia look on from afar, wondering whic one "he" is.  He who?  A new boyfriend met on Tinder?

Down on the dock, Employee Valencia tells the Old Guy: "I'm surprised you are here.  It's a long way from L.A., and you are quite old."  Way to insult your guests!  Next an unidentified older-younger same-sex couple; Cameron (Theo James, above) and wife, the kissing, nose-rubbing couple); Ethan (Will Sharpe, left) and wife, the distant, arguing couple (he forces her to drink wine); and a flowsy rich lady with a hundred suitcases, Ms. McQuaid. "I am your host, Mr. Roarke.  Welcome to Fantasy Island." 

Scene 3:  The White Lotus resort is in an  old hilltop convent, nowhere near the beach -- but with a view of Mount Etna. What kind of beachside resort is this, where you have to take a bus to get to the beach?

  Employee Rocco tells the two couples, who are apparently all friends, the story of the testi morti: a Moor came to Sicily and seduced a local woman.  When she discovered that he had a wife and kids back home, she cut off his head. It's a warning for husbands not to cheat. 

Then he shows  them that the two rooms connect through a secret doorway.  Ethan is up for wife-swapping, but his wife disapproves: "We won't be using that."  When the kissing, nose-rubbing couple leave, Ethan starts yelling at her.  Jerk! Not into it means not into it.

Meanwhile, the older-younger same-sex couple turn out to be father Dominic and young adult son Albie (Adam DiMarco), traveling with Grandpa Bert, who flirts with a female employee until the others reigns them in.  They're here to visit their ancestral town. 

So far the only potentially gay guest is Albie, so I'll fast-forward to his story.

Minute 24: Albie gets out of the pool (nice chest shot, but every other guy in the vicinity is fully clothed0.  He sits down next to Portia, a teenage girl who just got off the phone with a friend telling her to "get some dicks" while on vacation.  SHe starts crying because "they" have half a billion dollars but won't let her have any fun.  Albie consoles her.

Minute 46: They kiss.  Ok, so Albie is straight.  All of the other guests are married, hetero-horny, or both.  Who is the gay one?

Research reveals that he is Quentin, one of those aristocratic, decadent, fey Quentin Crisp types (parents don't know that their kid is gay when he is born, so why do gay guys on tv always have tired stereotype names, like Quentin and Blaine?).  This closeted jerk pays a group of straight men to have sex with him and introduces them as "my nephew and his friends."   He's also a drug addict and a murderer.  Pure homophobic sleaze.  

Wait -- I didn't notice before, but this series is created by, written by, and directed by MIKE WHITE, aka The Devil.  This is the jerk who wrote and starred in Chuck and Buck, about gay relationships being only for adolescents experimenting on their way to a "normal" heterosexual adulthood -- then had the monumental gall to advertise it in gay magazines!  Apparently those poor souls who get stuck in their adolescent "gay phase" turn into decadent, fey drug addicted murderers.

[bonniebird]

Lost boys thoughts that haunt me:

1. Michael had never met his grandfather. He's 18. Yes they lived in phoenix and grandpa Emerson lived in California but the Emerson's are a very close family they definitely would have travelled. Why would Lucy not visit her father in (minimum) 18 years.

2. Lucy's husband was confirmed to be financially abusive and nothing ever came of it

3. Why did they cut the scenes when Grandpa Emerson confirms / implies he's a retired vampire hunter if they were just going to confirm it offhandedly in the comics and later movies it was the entire point of the plot.

3. Max clearly thought grandpa Emerson was having Michael move to town to hunt them. it's heavily implied by what Star and David say in the first half of the film. The whole mother for my kids thing doesn't make sense because the only kids are Sam and the Frogs (and Laddie I guess but max isn't interested in him lol do they even have a scene together) and was clearly a lot twist added later

4. Why didn't the Frogs tell Sam they knew his grandpa when we know they were trading Oreos and beer with Grandpa Emerson for the pot their parents wanted. He states several time he refuses to go into town.

5. Who taught grandpa Emerson to identify vamps on sight is he just so high he vibes them out or what?

6. Why did Michael become the head of the house when he moved in if he wasn't taking up the role of head hunter

7. Michael not wanting to hunt more vamps makes sense but Edgar becoming the head hunter instead of Sam in the later movies and comics doesn't make sense until after the Second film when he has to fight Sam.

8. How did star go so long without eating someone? You really expect me to believe the power of motherhood stopped her chowing down on a bunch of drunk surfers.

9. The vamps in the 80s movie sparkle but do the ones in the later movies.

10. Why didn't we get a solo grandpa Emerson movie about him hunting the head vampire he was "dating" the entire first film

11. Is Marko dead because he was upsidedown when they stabbed him wouldn't his heart and organs have moved

12. Who is paying for Edgar and Alan to have all those high tech gadgets? They lost the comic shop, got cut off by the Emerson family and the trailer they own is owned by the bank the bank just can't get them out of it to repo the land it's on so whos paying for all the weapons we only see him modify crossbows

13. Did star and Michael get the reward money from returning Laddie. Did they stay in touch. How did they explain how they found him to the cops.

14. Why is every movie set in Santa Carla like that's enough vampire attacks now lol someone's going to get suspicious

15. Edgar claims that he and Alan saved the president from being attacked by vampires. How would you even bring that up like yeah we have a vampire problem in the white house and also why did they call Edgar specifically. Did the president not have other options?

16. Im pretty sure storm drains have people that clear them out now and then. What happens when they find Alan and his weird taxidermy collection in the drains

17. Did grandpa Emerson teach Alan a out taxidermy? Was it because Alan kept offering to stab people? Was her worried so he was like here just stab these dead animals?

18. How did the Emerson family lose grandpa Emersons house that he supposedly built himself because in the later films the only houses the Emerson's have is the one Star and Michael own out of state and the boat house. What happened to it because it wasn't destroyed completely in the first film did they just abandon it

19. Edgar is supposedly the best hunter in the world but he lost vampire Sam for almost a year. Like Sam wasn't hiding he was hunting Edgar so he was in town and just chilling

20. Edgar stating that he and Alan were cut off from the Emerson family after Sam's death makes no sense because 1 they would have known Edgar would have tried to save him 2. They thought of each other as brothers so they would have seen how upset he was 3 it's implied that Edgar is known by Emerson aunts and uncles the frogs are part of their family there's no way they would have just cut them off. I don't believe it.

21. Lucy telling Michael that is he got a girl pregnant while doing drugs that it was fine as long as he told her and that they would move them both into the Emerson house of peak Lucy humour. The way Michael is just 🧍while trying not to set on fire in the sun the whole time.

22. Does the duffer brothers recreating scenes from the lost boys in stranger things and having Steve and robin dress up as the Frogs mean the TV show and new movie we were hinted to be getting aren't coming out in 2025 anymore. How has no one from Joel's estate sued them or netflix yet did they get permission are they going to take over the franchise

23. Why did the frogs never leave Santa Carla if they hated it so much

24. Why did Edgar go into surfboard repairs

25. Why doesn't Edgar just hire and train a bunch of people to be hunters with him now he's the head hunter (last hunter standing I guess)

[annamarabella-grumble]

mass effect replay thoughts, episode 8

episode 1 / episode 2 / episode 3 / episode 4 / episode 5 / episode 6 / episode 7 / episode 9

so, we went to ilos. we found the conduit. we learnt a lot about the protheans and the true purpose of the citadel — so the citadel is both the catalyst and a relay for the reapers to get through?? or did i hear that wrong??

in any case, it’s really satisfying to go through the setup for the trilogy again while playing through mass effect 3 on my own time and seeing it all come together there

why is the conduit thing timed?? why is it so tight?? i mean, it’s easy to just drive past the geth units and armatures, but… like, is that there to play gotcha with the player if they act on instinct and think they have to fight their way through, only to realise too late the conduit is closing? i bet players who did at first were so pleased with that “mission failure” screen (or whatever else it is you see, i’ve just barrelled through on both playthroughs but not without nearly having a heart attack the first time)

and then getting to the citadel in time to, uh, not stop saren is just watching him enter his resident evil 4 era. love that for him

legit, the first time i played it through i was facetiming my friend (because she wanted to see my stupid face just as that moment happened, i suspect) and just yelled WHAT IS THIS, RESI 4??? bless his rearranging limbs and entrails cascading off his skeleton, but i was NOT ready for that

garrus and wrex when they believe shep’s dead 😭 oof the hollow grief all over their faces

and then! garrus lighting up!! when he hears footsteps!! aaaaah!!!

and wow literally in that moment i remembered the start of mass effect 2 and how utterly cruel it must have felt not to lose shep here, and then only months later… didn’t make that hurt any less, i gotta tell ya

don’t imagine garrus’ insurmountable relief that shep’s fine, and knowing then how deep his feelings for them run; don’t imagine all of it driving home how it can all end any time; don’t imagine how he still can’t bring himself to tell shep; don’t imagine his despair when, so soon after, shep dies in the collector attack and it’s too late, he wasted his chance

yeah, we’re ok

anyway, we’re on to mass effect 2 now, and we’ve changed shep’s look 👀

omega really is the place to go if you want two merc husbands for the price of one trip

can’t wait to visit garbage man for story time

kelly “i just want to hug garrus and tell him it’ll be ok” chambers

ME TOO KELLY, ME TOO

all those dossiers!!!!!! good lord. all those loyalty missions!!!!!

i cannot believe that hackett’s tracker just switched ass cheeks in the resurrection — barely back on the normandy and we’ve got an email from him. granted, it’s about the final resting place of the normandy and not immediately another alliance war crime to cover up, but like. grandpa. be serious. a lil “hey so you’re not dead, that’s nice” was too much work????

anderson like “hey if you’re really not dead, come see me.” thanks for reaching out dad 💛

[softgrungeprophet]

Character asks for Wyatt Wingfoot? 👀💖

13. Your favorite friendship they have, 20. A weird headcanon, 25. When do you think they acted the most ooc

13. Fave friendship: Hmmmm is it a cop-out to say Johnny? TBH Wyatt's only shown with like. Two friends. Which is Jen and Johnny—and I like both of those friendships a lot lol. He did babysit with Alicia a couple of times which seems like it could be a really fun dynamic but it was pretty brief and never explored or anything like that.

WAIT I LIED I FORGOT ABOUT BECKY I love Becky, she and Wyatt are very fun. love calm sedate wyatt and his firecracker bff with two (2) appearances ever (wiki says she has more but tbh i really don't believe that the random lady in the background of a kind of bad xmas comic published before we actually met her was becky??? lol??)

20. Weird headcanon: That the reason he was so sleepy when the gang went on a field trip to Wakanda (in his like... second appearance) was because he pulled an all-nighter studying lol

idk if that's "weird" but 😂

oh i guess i have a somewhat odd family tree setup for fic purposes but that's because his family is kind of... well, it reads to me as though claremont... maybe made up new names for existing characters (and got father vs grandfather wrong while he was at it) (except they're both dead) thus bringing into existence wynona and her father, black eagle. (not sure why wiki says will wingfoot is her dad cause i'm pretty sure he's not...? unless i am SORELY misremembering the two entire issues she's been in)

so my possibly weird family tree headcanon is that black eagle is will wingfoot's older brother and that after will died (but before she died) wyatt's mother either remarried or just got together with black eagle (thinking like, oh supporting her and helping her with the kids after his brother/her husband died ~> romance) and they had wynona. making wyatt and rain half-siblings to wynona. i guess that's more of a wynona wingfoot headcanon though. but like.

you know. i'm basically making that up because i'm 90% sure black eagle and wynona were meant to be silent fox and rain falling west.

i mean it's entirely possible giving wyatt a new sister (and uncle) we'd never met before was on purpose and not because claremont just couldn't be bothered to look up rain or silent fox's names or the fact that wyatt's parents and grandparents were all dead by 1989, but frankly i don't feel that generous about it lol

(also i'm not sure why wynona's wiki page lists scott lobdell and alan davis as her creators cause i'm fairly certain it was claremont writing f4 in 1999) (i mean. if you go to the issues she's in, it literally lists claremont and larocca as writer and artist)

25. Most OOC: when John Byrne stepped in on writing like, you know what this guy should do? Totally shrug off all his responsibilities for no reason because he thinks a girl he just met is hot! (and killing his grandpa off-panel at the same time for literally no reason—like to be honest the entire thing would have sucked less if grandpa was not killed off and wyatt was just allowed to be a regular struck-with-wanderlust 20 year old instead of being like ~ohhh he has to step in as chief~~ just kidding he's going to new york and abandoning all his responsibilities because he saw a tall green babe) So now he has a weird inconsistent reputation as this irresponsible guy depending on who's writing him, but imo I don't think it's like. that in-character? It's not like Wyatt was super complex by the mid 80s but he still never really struck me as that kind of character personally? especially since he pretty consistently puts others' needs/wants/etc. before his own including in byrne's own writing lol... so like??? For the most part though I think Wyatt is such a straightforward character that most writers get him in the right ballpark—chill, romantic, kind, and thoughtful. Strong sense of justice, very capable, adventurous, etc.

oh wait I just remembered the scene in FF vol 2 where he says he doesn't know how to pronounce a french word. I like his appearance in that comic and his and jen's date was very cute but that line was like???? cause i have read all of his pre-slott appearances and in the 70s? 80s? i forget, he literally was going on double-dates to like... the opera and shit. also I'm pretty sure he has some kind of linguistics (and/or history) degree? (never actually stated but ka-zar: guns of the savage land has some linguistics stuff) and he's definitely been to french restaurants in his life so I'm pretty sure he can pronounce french restaurant food names as well as any other random guy

[meandmyechoes]

Kingohger ep19

i know i said this is the first week i hadn't felt nervous but i turned on the computer to write the little pre-essay and got myself worked up thinking about hcs lol the magic of midnights i guess also i woke/was woken up at 5am this morning

homemade extended nitiasa with Blazar-kun :)

START!!

scream JERAMIE DOES SLEEP IN A NET!!!!! HC CONFIRMED

gosh i'm like dying for more Kagu-Yanma common man combo

lmao the throne room has to have best only reliable internet reception

take the crumb of Rita naming Yanma first? But! Rita is on first-name basis face-to-face with the team now!

The OP visual is one continuous shot of them all standing together 😭😭😭😭

"You were worried about me, Kuwagon?" "I'm alright :)" talking-to-the-Shugods Gira is the cutest

Blue and White are making up? YESSSSS Grandson combi? Kidult combi? Prankster combi???

I'll never not laugh at Jeramie calling Racles 'that brat'

Racles stress relief squeeze ball… merch it bandai or you're a coward

hi jeramie you know that iiko grandson of yours called you the culprit 2 episodes ago

they don't have to be showing Jeramie and Yanma walked right past Kaguragi but it's so funny

Suzume can make outward calls the whole time??? (or she's just benefitting from the chaos)

Suzume carrying the whole Shugoddom National Theatre troupe they should've let her train one in those 15 years if only she needn't be kept secret

the reaction difference between improv theatre with kurokos vs. with Shuggodom guards lol

i'm not entirely sure but… if Suzume is helping Racles make sure his guards are safe (because they both know the guards are too loyal to leave their king)…

Douga-san… his old-fashioned loyalty + quick to adapt. lately Douga-san has been shown quite positively huh HEY WHERE'S BOSHIMARU

hi i'd like to donate to the Get Shugoddom's Green Screen A Real Carpet/Brick Road Fund

gawd did not expect my tears to break formation at the orphange reunion

fking flute ver of inferno

the people's recognition *single tear*

this ep is just full power Racles whump huh

Grandson combo

yo nkosopa bgm new arrangement

is racles overacting here 🤔 (racels's second-rate villain act, not yano-san's)

"The King will not escape"… (ep17 title)

??? who's the villain here???

did Jeramie just called Racles worse than 'what came out from the bottom' (shit. he meant racles is shit.)

so Gira doesn't want his brother dead 😏 or does he not want Yanma a killer? 🤔😏

eh iyaiyaiya kingoh can you stop with the tone whiplash??

*claps* good the script remembered to resolve Yanma and Jeramie' conflict in ep13. Grandpa-son combi YESSS

omg Rita-sama 🙇🙇 late to the group henshin and had Morfonia work over time so they can fit Ohsama Sentai into the acronym NERD

[outside the gate] Kaguragi: do we still wait for rita or go in first Himeno: well the boys can't stall much longer i'll have to make sure rita's timing is perfect

[jumping up and down from the awesome fights to OP]

this level of female-female ranger combo action… used to be the crossover extravaganza 😭😭

they can perform such a compliated choreo in such narrow space SAs saikou 😭😭

YES I LOVE THANK YOU FOR BOTH KAGU AND YANMA CROUCHING while dismissingly shooting at MOTW like the grassroots they were

they have six people but divide into 4 groups

literally i'm 3 years old again what's better than Super Sentai

"The only crime I should be accounted for" sigh I know this line will come back to bite us re ep1

Himeno-sama you can't keep acting cute towards Rita to get what you want… They are about to run out of social battery

WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS [FOAMING AT THE MOUTH] WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS WINGS [FOAMING AT THE MOUTH]

them getting in each other's way - what kind of basis is this for me to develop a partnership obesession with these two

rita scream i asked for just last night?

duel? DUEL? DUEL??? MY EPISODE 18?? brothers showdown i asked for last week??

they chose a low ground to duel this time

ohohohoohoooo WEDDING YANO MASTAO YOUR RING BETRAYED YOU

Yano Masato = Tom Holland of Kingohger

that's the same mantle as Lionel's…

ngl slightly disappointed at Suzume's boring white dress

this man's soul has left his body