#and other BODMODS

[planitiautopia]

why being trans is so goth? we have DEAD names and we can BURY genitals for phallo

[gor3sigil]

What being trans means to me

I love being trans. I love transitioning. The thing is, most of the time, I read about other trans people experiences. And I just can’t relate.

I have plenty of tattoos and piercings, and if I have to be 100% honest with y’all, I see transitioning like a bodmod. To me, getting top surgery was one, as I wanted to at least get my nipples removed before I even knew top surgery was an option.

I see HRT as much as a bodmod. A few years back, I wasn’t so sure I even wanted HRT, but after thinking it through and doing a lot of research, I decided to do it. And I never looked back. I’m close to 2 years on T, which isn’t a lot, and I don’t even know if I plan to stay on T for very long, maybe I’ll stop at some point. Who knows.

It goes hand in hand with the everlasting identity crisis I’ve been having since I was born, basically. I was a different person before, and she was so tired, so she left the body to some dude, and he got tired, and they fused, and it was me, and I’m in a trans body, I’m trans, I take T like I paint my nails, I take T like a cigarette, I take T like a hot bath. It’s comforting, it makes me feel good, it makes me feel at home in this body.

I got surgery because I wanted my silhouette to be mine. I changed my name because since I was little, and that’s the only point for which I can say confidently I knew since I was a kid, I never understood why we couldn’t name ourselves. To me, a name was so intimate, so personal, that I couldn’t understand why it had to be someone else’s choice. So I took a new one and changed it.

And now I look at myself in the miror and I’m Cyan, and I got a flat chest, and I have a deep voice, and I’ll do my T shot on friday just like I do every 14 days since almost 2 years, with the same pleasure, with the same smile on my face, the same rush I ever have when I’m excited for my shot.

Close to the feeling I get when I get a new piercing, when I up the size of my lobes, when I feel the first tingles of the needles that tattoo me.

I didn’t “always knew” I was trans. I remember being a kid with a shit ton of OCs, and names for myself that I couldn’t choose, and whose dream was to live a thousand lives before I died. I don’t know who I will be in 3 years. Or in 6 months.

It says on a letter that I suffer from gender dysphoria, and by all means it was true before top surgery. Not so much now. I still am insecure about my body a lot of times because there’s some things missing to my chara design and I am fatter IRL lmao, but with this body I cum, I eat good food, I get drunk, I smoke, I feel hot and fresh water, I swim, I sing, I write this. Even when it’s half broken and it’s raining and my joints ache and I feel like I’m already old, I love this body. I’m not the type of people who will be like “your body is a temple, you HAVE to exercise and eat only fresh veggies” because if I have to be here let me at least have fun. I take care of myself though, maybe not as much as I should, but the best I can.

If I hadn’t overcome everything I did in my life, maybe I wouldn’t have transitioned. Or maybe I would. I don’t care. I don’t need a reason, and neither do you.

This is what I mean when I say that everyone should do whatever the fuck they want because, I wasn’t born trans, or at least I don’t think so. But does it make my transition less valid ? No. I’m better in my skin that ever, even when the low self esteem hits, and I know I would feel way less good if I hadn’t transition. That’s all that matters.

[bordelz]

Non exhaustive list of IS I had and are periodically reactivated :

Secret services and spy history (real shit only, I dislike most spy movies, fiction is not as interesting as reality in this case)

Early human history and ancient ecology

Phylogenetic

Edible plants + local plants and trees

Printing techniques

Alphabets and languages, neo languages, vocabulary

Terrariophily and aquariophily (try not to engage much 'cause I tend to spend time and money on this and after a few month I can't maintain the effort it needs)

Autogestion, collective democratie and group governance tools

Self help, risk reduction and collective care

Punk scenes, art, values and history

Body and sensations : related art, bodmod, body play, bdsm, self portrait

Theology, mythologies, biblical and catholic lore + animisms, paganims, pantheons...

Oral traditions, tales, expressions

Mecanic, industrial and heavy machinery

Fibre art

Feel free to share on these subjects ! And even on adjacent ones, I am easily enthousiastic about things other are enthousiast with !

Also you can follow me here or on my main, @ortie-pnk

[the-stardust-shard]

Since it’s been kind of the topic several times tonight i’m wondering if i could call them to ask if they would be comfortable recommending safety tips/tool alternatives for when i need to cut myself

Because, i mean, they know me, they admitted my current “state of affairs” made it a tool without many alternatives, and they know ive been using and caring for the best and safest tools i can have, and i’m officially medically trained and licensed to “do a cutaneous intrusion” and for post-act healing and care (bodmods and piercings, tattoos, etc) so i literally have all the chances and best points on my side here

i’m just curious to see if they’ve got any other tool or technique or protocol i could learn or obtain that could make it even safer

[twilight-of-a-faun]

Toy Collection Update

as someone w now a sizeable spicy silicone collection all of which are unrealistic shapes and 100% no balls, balls-free, balls-less, orchiectomied... I have accidentally developed a collection of alien themed pretty decorational packers as add-ons to other toy orders (I also have a cute lil vulva uwu she's so pretty I love her). Have just ordered another one just on its own in Candy Corn inclusion bc I'm committing to the bit. So now I have:

>Sparkly dark green (glittery) mini packer

>White cherry blossoms (glittery, inclusion) smol packer

>Strawberries in chocolate sauce (inclusion) smol packer

>Opal and Gold (glittery, inclusion) med packer

>and on its way the Candy Corn with a Halloween black base (med packer)

And I'm thinking of getting them all fun genital piercings?

I think after that, I'll only want to buy a gold Crave Vesper 2 (the vibrator necklace), a fancy harness/bondage set and, when I actually have my own house, some piece of tantric furniture, but not for a long while now. Can't believe this past year I've really finished my sex toy collection (thanks HPE). 5 Years of collecting coming to an end :)

I've also switched my attention this month to filling some gaps in my woodland animal collection, so now I have (from before) deer ears/antlers headband, deer ear/antler hair clips, bat wings headband, ram horns, fox ears, and (ordered over Black Friday) bunny ears and latte themed fox ears that will be custom made for me in the new year. Black Friday has been kind to me and I've managed to keep cost down to about 400GBP for three silicone toys and two sets of ears in 2023. For enrichment.

I think in future I want (1) a different style of bunny ears, (2) a pair of brown rodent ears (rat era!), and (3) something more goth wolf/jackal/lynx-esque to complete the collection.

Alongside this, I've continued with Body Modifications Stage 2 (piercings) and now I'm healing 4 piercings (two lobes, a helix, a rook) to make a total of 7 sparkly bits. I will prob get a contraconch and septum in the next 5 years. I'm hoping 2024 will bring the start of BodMod Stage 3 (laser hair removal) but I'm excited to have made some progress despite having to postpone laser due to geographic/financial/time constraint reasons.

So for the start of 2024 I am just piercing some packers! Feel free to send asks if u want to hear more about it! I might also post pics of toys/ears etc if there's interest, tho prob not until Jan/Feb since I'm out of country atm.

[tinfoilscribbles]

Other bodmod, the not killer cyborg version.

[capybara-platypus]

I’m making notes on my ocs and I thought it’d be a good idea to just put their first initial so I don’t have to type out their name each time! but out of 3 characters 2 of them begin w K,,,,why have I done this

[pontsalin]

Sanders Sides gaming au

This started as a crack au, but I got way invested in it so here we go:

Logan: 

Channel name: Logical

- He’s a twitch streamer who’s rather popular. He’s calm and practical, and people often say they watch him because of his deep soothing voice (kinda like wrax/u). He also have a youtube channel where he reposts some clips, but other than that it’s empty.

- He mostly plays survival game (his fav being Subnautica), but also games that “challenge” his brain (read: being able to snipe). He also do a lot of speedruns and osu.

- He has a job outside of his streams (idk exactly what) that bores him. That’s why he plays video games a lot. He decided he would stream because "I’m already playing way too much, why not showing it” (he lowkey wanted to flex on his skills).

- He doesn’t talk a lot during his streams.

- But he rages easily.

- He has merch, which are mostly mugs with his logo (the brain ofc) or shirts.

- He has piercings (I’m gay don’t judge me).

- He used to never show his face because he was scared people would be put off by his lack of reactions, but now he shows it in some streams.

Patton:

Channel name: Pawton

- He has a really wholesome youtube channel at 800k subscribers where he mostly plays cute game like Slime Rancher, Animal crossing or other nintendo game, Minecraft, the Sims, Stardew Valley, Pokemon etc.

- People love his positivity and puns.

- He’s also openly a furry and people draw fanart of his fursona.

- He can’t live off youtube yet because he doesn’t make sponsored videos.

- But he has a lot of merch, which are mostly posters, shirts and sweaters. 

- He always has his camera on during videos.

- He plays VR in onesies.

Virgil and Roman:

Channel name: Viciously rad

- They are two friends from middle school that decided one day to record themselves. They have been on youtube for a fairly long time and are at 2 or 3 millions subscribers.

- They stream on twitch regulary, and then edit the videos to post them on youtube (they also post the VOD).

- They mostly do cooperation or fighting games (where they can rekt the other), or horror games. They also like to play the sims or other simulation games where they can ruin the game.

- They actually don’t live at the same place (but will move in together...)

- They use a program which allow to control one of their computer by the other (so they can play solo games together).

- They also do some solo streams but they rarely upload them on youtube.

- Their outro is Mooo! by Doja Cat because it was the only song they could agree on.

- Virgil’s fav games are Overwatch and Undertale. He likes to dig deep in lore and theories. Roman’s are Skyrim and Infamous Second Son (he projects a lot onto Delsin...).

- Virgil’s username in video games is usually D.stroy (he's a huge fan of D.VA) and Roman’s Princey.

- Virgil crushes hard on Logan and Patton. He has pretty much all of their merch and donates to them often. He also does commisions and have a few piercings.

- Roman has a seperate cover channel.

Deceit:

- He’s name is Damian, but he likes to call him Dantalion.

- He’s Logan’s roomate. He’s the cryptid of his channel since he’s often just a voice in the background or a shadow in a video.

- He becomes Patton’s editor later.

- Got a lot of piercings and some bodmods

Patton is the one to ask Logan to make a video with him. They did a puzzle / maze minecraft map. They worked so well together they continued to play together.

They all meet at a convention. This time it was Roman’s idea to play together. After that; they often team up in Overwatch (Patton is a mercy/ healer main, Virgil fills but loves to play tank/ D.VA, and Roman and Logan are the annoying dps). They also have a Minecraft server together (Roman often asks the mods to be able to grief Logan’s house).

They all get together after a while (Damian included) but they don’t plan on telling it to their followers.

[infernalyearning]

PLS talk more about your astrotrain s/i idea !! if you want to gather ur thoughts you can totally save this ask for when you have enough info/time but this is your free gush coupon

this is super disorangized because i havent made a lot of final decisions yet BUT

since i love throwing my ideas around to help me think them through, lets go!!!

some of my name ideas for him are “Lunaticus”, “Lux Atlas”, and “Telluric Major”

possible alt modes include a satellite or something based on the ISS/Hubble if i dont make him a monoformer (if hes a monoformer it wont interfere with his work at all, hed just be in a space base reporting to different ships and bases anyway)

 his notes are all written in shorthand that is near incomprehensible and his handwriting is absolute garbage so he literally has to type if anyone else is to have a chance at understanding what his messages say

im considering having him have gone through partial-empurata as a political/spiritual statement regarding fresh starts (possibly goes through it after the war ends???) so he’d have hands but no face

ON THAT NOTE, WHAT IF HE HAD FOUR ARMS??? THATD BE SO COOL! I WANT FOUR ARMS! 

advocate for bodmods and upgrades as self-expression

most of his contacts dont talk to him much and its usually just other ships’ navigators or ship autopilots/ai so Astrotrain is a nice break from all the boredom since they’ll talk about other stuff

he moonlights as a radio host; it started as just trying to keep himself sane out in space all alone and he assumed nobody could hear/bothered to listen. little does he know he has a few fans. especially one frequent listeners who likes to hear him sing

ill post more as i think about it and if you have any ideas or feedback id love your input!!

[dustail]

list of tags ↴

Pose Tag - static and dynamic poses

Multiple People - subsection of the pose tag with more than one person interacting with each other

kiss - kissing pose references

Face Tag - faces in different angles and of differing ethnicities

Fashion - casual, high fashion, religious, cultural, etc (blacklist #lingerie if you don't want to see that)

lingerie - underwear & lingerie

​Haute Couture - high fashion specifically

Casual - casual everyday wear specifically

Inspiration - things that get me into a drawing mood or that have interesting compositions

Art - general art tag (both f*ndom and original art)

Aesthetic - aesthetically pleasing photos and color schemes

⚔️ - historical weapons and armor

mealtime - food & snacks

ref - a very messy general reference and tutorial tag

Background Tag - photos of streets, buildings, and other scenery to use for backgrounds

Textures Tag - reference photos of different textures and materials

Hand Tag - hands in different poses and angles

Hair Tag - references of different hair styles, textures, lengths, etc

Shoe Tag - shoes (and sometimes socks) of differing styles and poses

Jewelry Tag - jewelry and bodmods of all sorts

Makeup Tag - makeup looks and bodypaints

Tatt Tag - tattoos

Lighting Tag - lightings of differing angles, colors, and intensities

quotes 💌 - poetry + quotes

[orb0]

Honestly every possible explanation for dabi’s skin is equally terrible

Burns (someone else); bad

Burns (self inflicted); really bad

Frost burns; dare i say more

Some other injury; worse

Botched skin graft; unfortunate

actually wearing someone else’s skin; terrible

Cosmetics/ bodmod; its bad dude

He was just born like that; oOF.

[bordelz]

I'd like to talk with other system / alters

I am plural for sure but with mostly partial alters / fragments. Since a few year we got to figure out a lot and I know my headmates better.

F is the only feminine alter mostly here for heavy social event and party

M is a gay man and was for a few years the lead which was nice but disorienting

E is basically who I was at 14/15 years and stayed so

There is a satyr but i don't know a lot for now, he likes to write and sing

There is a beast which i think is the initial split, pretty much anger and preservation skills I was ask to hide, I have lost contact for years but remember "being" her in life or in dream, I feel like I have locked her away and I don't now how to free her

And there is myself, elz. I am since 10 years almost always fronting or co-fronting. And has much as it helps understanding my system and allowing more expression to the other it is very challenging for me.

Who I though I was for years was the total of all of us (- the beast) and as we discover the individual identity of everyone I know less and less who I am and also feel like we are loosing our global identity and it's harder to makes decision.

Since a year I have'nt be able to decide for an haircut or to make an appointment for bodmods I want... (starting my transition and struggling with dysphoria doesn't help either)

Some days I feel messed up and blurry, my image feels like having no face and I can't focus or calm down

I wish someone who passed this phase can tell me about how it went and how it is now.

Is it possible to all have our own identities but still having a global one (which would'nt be me-elz I now know) ?

[alexcfourpo]

Check out the queer bodmod compass! @queerbodmodcompass is a real cool project to map all LQBTQIA tattoo/bodmod artist world wide. Making it easier for folks to find a safer space and nicer people to get tattooed or pierced or other things by. Thanks for putting in the work to make this! . . . . . . . . . . #tattoo #tattoos #tattooed #tattoostudio #lgbtqia #queertattooartist #queer #nonbinary #genderqueer #bodmod #transtattooist (at Stockholm, Sweden)

[salabodymod]

This is the other ear of my great 🇩🇪customer @svenjamarx Amazing collection from @bvla @maria_tash @dinamica.joalheria @bodygems #bodymodification #bodymodifications #bodymods #bodmod #piercing #pinpoint #piercings #piercerslife #pinpointpiercing #gold #safepiercing #appmember (at Pinpoint Piercing)

[eugeniadelphine]

I love Sunday to stay home and chill, but there is something I even like better, Sunday's ritual. @lepoinconneurdeslilas it is piercer at @mubodyarts where we was co-workers. Toph and I have a wide story of pain together. We do noise suspension performance together, I pierce him in stage, he pierce me hooks for performance together, I suspended him many times.... but there is something we not yet share together a scarification ritual.... In the beginning this was a friends ritual for the pleasure of share this together, and complete a bit more his body project, but in the end it is really turns into something deeper that none of us expected... We need to stop a couple of time to hug each other. A thousand of emotions was coming out, and I feel privilege to be me the one could help to reach those emotions, but at same time a big responsibility to drive my friend in this path of pain and self strength... the lines on the front didn't finish as we planned in the stencil, but I felt a big success. The second part of the process it was much more easy for both. I remembered Laeti ritual, and I show Toph the band "wardruna". He likes it a lot and we finish the scar in the most total calm talking a bit, and I could see very obvious how Toph it was so much more calm and progressively hi was feeling proud of himself to can arrive in to, what per moments, it was looking imposible. Tophel Tower (I put him this nickname when we worked together) I can't be more happy of had this experience with you. I know the process is not yet over for you, neither for me, because of course the time I am in Dijon I will be here to support you in the first days of healing, even to clean you wounds eventually like we did in the past. #matriarca #modernprimitives #body #skin #bodytextures #skintextures #scar #scarification #eugeniadelphinescarification #bodyritual #painhealing #bodmod #bodymodification (at MU)

[salabodymod]

30 to 0 real quick 😷😉 other earlobe reconstruction that @christianepinpoint and me did in October so far looking great #earreconstruction #earlobereconstruction #earfix#bodmod #bodymods#bodymodification #bodymodifications (at Pinpoint Piercing)