#and ppl also have made it possible to connect them to the internet??

[moodr1ng]

just learned the other day that minitels DO still work in france and i own one (its just been sitting here as decoration bc i thought it wasnt useable lol) and now i sooo wanna try it but my place doesnt have a landline outlet.. smh..

[csmiclxtte]

ATEEZ Fama [408] asteroid mini reading

disclaimer: i'm still learning & idk these ppl personally. so dont be too serious

ATEEZ has Fama in Aquarius (2°). As a group, they are known to be:

Original, unique, eccentric.

Aware of social issues

2° : "Fame" is a gift which can help them to produce wealth.

Fama Shadow Side

Spreading of news & controversies

ATEEZ is rather unproblematic, but if we take a look, the scandals mainly involves Aquarian theme.

Cultural appropriation(s)

Plagiarism (original ideas getting stolen)

ATEEZ's Fama aspects

square Sun-Venus, square Uranus, opposite NN forming a fixed Grand Cross / Grand Square

They may find "fame" to clash wih their ego (square Scorpio Sun).

"Fame" might trigger love-hate reactions from public. Or members may have tricky relationship with "fame", things can be awkward or tense (square Scorpio Venus).

"Fame" made them question their personal values at some point (square Taurus Uranus retrograde).

Their goal is to achieve fullest form of self-expression (Leo NN).

Fixed signs causing them to face the same issues again, if lessons not learned.

ATEEZ Members Fama Placement

Who they are known to be

Hongjoong | Fama in Virgo 8H (22°)

Workaholic, critical, and perfectionistic

Self-reliant.

Manage resources well.

Natural charisma, mysterious.

8H rules legacy, it can mean leaving a big legacy into this world.

Regenerate wealth.

Seonghwa | Fama in Cancer 12H (12°)

Emotional, sensitive, moody.

Nurturing, "motherly".

Imaginative, intuitive, may be spiritual.

Delusions & illusions which can mean he is often misunderstood. Or people may see him just as they like.

Great at conveying emotions and playing roles.

Yunho | Fama in Virgo 10H (28°)

Hardwork, competence, and diligence.

Perfectionistic, critical.

Professional and able to control his emotions relatively well.

Soft and caring, comforts people.

Intercepted Fama 10H: may mean Yunho have difficulty in climbing career ladder & gaining reputation.

Note: Fama in 10H can mean higher level of fame (positive or negative). Also the 28° degree, from what i've read, can be linked to karmic disposition. If his birthtime is exact, Yunho also has intercepted 4H. It can be translated as lacking familial/parental support. However he does have a strong ancestral connection, which possibly means that his career & reputation is linked with karmic clearing & such.

This is only based on degree theory & interception theory.

Yeosang | Fama in Virgo 6H (24°)

Hardworking, pays a lot attention to detail.

Takes extra care of his fitness & health.

Can be very particular about things.

Coworkers may often talk about him.

Can be known as spirirtual/mysterious, head in the clouds, not so present.

San | Fama in Virgo 1H (29°)

Another workaholic placement, striving for perfection, especially in how he represent his physic.

San seems to have a specific image/concept he wanted to project.

He can demand a lot from himself & his body.

Anaretic degree: ability to master the Virgo qualities. It might be something familiar and the energy is much easier to direct.

Mingi | Fama in Libra 9H / 11H (6°) - not sure what time Mingi was born, either 12 pm or 4 pm (please lmk which one is correct tysm)

Natural charm and beauty.

Center of attention.

Well-liked in foreign land/culture or internet.

May be indecisive.

Travel, media, and exploration will help him (9H), or rather technology and his friend group (11H).

Perfectionistic.

Wooyoung | Fama in Scorpio 1H-2H cusp (10°)

Scorpios are usually magnetic, so Woo doesn't need to do much to lure people.

Gives people a sense of intimacy, but also very private in a way. People are naturally curious of him.

Fearless, won't hesitant to approach taboo/forbidden stuffs.

Known for the his journey & transformation in building success.

Jongho | Fama in Sagittarius (6°) - also ugh idk his birthtime

Got famous by literally doing whatever he wants and following his guts.

Great sense of humor.

Known to be optimistic, wise and knowledgeable, philosophical, adventurous.

Perfectionist, practice make perfect.

Notice how Virgo energy is always involved in the placement, aside from Wooyoung and Seonghwa. Perfectionistic & critical ppl fr.

I by no means state this all as fact. Take it for fun only. Again, idk these ppl irl.

I'm just exploring astrology theories :>

Thank you for reading!

[convenientalias]

Why You Should Watch White Christmas (the 2011 Kdrama): A Manifesto

Yesterday I was watching White Christmas (specifically episodes 4 and 5) for the fourth time. I watched it for the first time like five years ago and all my feelings are still there and still potent so today I am here to tell you that you should watch it too.

THE BASICS:

Seven kids at an elite private high school over winter break. They stayed there because they all received mysterious black letters, accusing them of vague, nonspecific crimes and claiming that on New Year's Day someone will die. When they find out that ALL of them received this letter, they decide one of them must have been the one to send it--and they set out to discover who it was. In the meantime, a giant blizzard shuts down all the roads, and telephone and internet connections go down as well, leaving the school isolated and all on campus trapped there together.

things develop from there.

THE CHARACTERS:

Park Moo-yul: A Good Boy. His grades are constantly second highest in the school; he's obsessed with studying and wants to someday come in first. Sort of a leader type, he tries to organize the investigative efforts (and later, keep things from falling apart--except, much as he'd like to believe it, he's not immune to the Lord of the Flies effect lols). For the first couple episodes, he's sort of the main/POV character, but by the end it's more of an ensemble cast show. In the episodes I just watched, there are multiple scenes with him staring down a gun and waiting to get shot. Some ppl think he's boring but I love a guy with a hero complex.

Choi Chi-hoon: The Genius. The first place to Park Moo-yul's second. People call him unemotional and heartless; it turns out later he does have difficulty feeling emotions due to a neurological issue. Loves science, interested in the black letters as a puzzle but for a while pretends not to be. The least likely to go Lord of the Flies but his Very Logical plans are often actually very risky.

Yoon Eun-sung: The Only Girl. (except for that one other woman who shows up later but she's not one of the seven so we're not counting her.) Used to be the most popular girl in school and also Park Moo-yul's girlfriend but then she Changed (aka she developed depression). Sarcastic and possibly suicidal. Everyone is OBSESSED with her (well, four, arguably five characters are obsessed with her, but this show only has a total of 11 characters so that's really too many).

Also, she's played by Esom, so if you like Esom, you should watch White Christmas.

Lee Jae-kyu: Why are you here???? For the first few episodes, that's a genuine question; he doesn't have an apparent connection to the others in the group, and it's a mystery why the black letter sender would have any grudges against him. It turns out later he has some secret issues. He's a bit of a snake in the grass. I won't go into it.

Yang Kang-mo: He wants to be a reporter someday! His nickname is Cameraman Yang, and he's always carrying a camera around. He's deaf, and partly as a result, gets bullied a lot. He is the favorite character of the friend I was watching this show with yesterday. Also there's a whole episode of him getting chased around with baseball bats, look forward to it.

Jo Young-jae: A bully, a coward and a messed up kid. A line he says in the show is, "Yes, I'm used to people hating me. To the extent that I'm scared when people don't hate me. But you made me hate myself!" A line someone else says to him is, "You're not a bad person. You're weak. If everyone knew how weak you were, they wouldn't hate you." To watch Jo Young-jae have multiple mental breakdowns, watch White Christmas, I promise it is very fun.

Also, he's played by Kim Young-kwang, so if you like Kim Young-kwang, you should watch White Christmas.

Yoon Su: His nickname is Angel. In general, it requires incredible academic acumen to go to Susin High; Yoon Su got in bc his parents donated money to the school. He's a loner and does not want to be here; his ambition in life is to be a musician, and he loves playing the guitar. He has some mental health issues and takes (unspecified) recreational drugs. He also has a giant grudge. Against who? Stay tuned to find out.

Also he's played by Lee Soo-hyuk, so if you like Lee Soo-hyuk, you should watch White Christmas.

Kang Mi-reu: THIS BOY IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. Remember how I said seven kids got letters, seven kids stayed at the school? Meet kid number eight. Kang Mi-reu didn't get a letter and he didn't get permission to stay on campus either; technically he's on probation and on his way to being expelled. He sneakily stayed on campus to investigate who framed him for exploding a statue, the reason for his expulsion. He can go through air vents and has a great theme song. He wants to solve his problems with violence. Actually he once beat Choi Chi-hoon at academics but got pissed off at always losing to him and gave up on being a perfect student. We all love Kang Mi-reu.

Also he's played by Kim Woo-bin so if you like Kim Woo-bin, you should watch White Christmas.

Yoon Jong-il: The teacher who stayed on campus to supervise. Wow, I'm sure with a responsible adult around, there will be no chaos or violence breaking out on campus.

Kim Yo-han: He's not even affiliated with the school. He got in a car accident near it and then got stuck here due to the storm. He keeps getting concussions/broken bones/deadly fevers. Also, he's a psychiatrist, and finds all the weird shit going on at the school rather intriguing.

IS IT SHIPPY?

I mean, is there any actual romance? No.

Do we see slow burn friendships develop from suspicion to deep trust and affection over the course of the show? Also no.

Do I think some of these people should make out? Yeah.

A few ships I have specifically:

-Choi Chi-hoon/Park Moo-yul: Obvious rival ship, overemotional dude/kind of cold dude, leader type/genius type. There is also some hurt/comfort towards the end that I really can't describe without spoilers but the mix of resentment and trust is immense.

-Kang Mi-reu/Park Moo-yul: This is my just for fun ship. Good boy/bad boy vibes. Also Kang Mi-reu seems to actually listen to Park Moo-yul when for the most part he won't listen to anyone. Also he snuck into Park Moo-yul's bedroom once while he was sleeping and teased him about the fact that he and all the others got black letters and won't the sender be so offended he dares to sleep instead of sitting up paranoid all night. I just think they're cute.

-Yang Kang-mo/Jo Young-jae: Yes this is a bully/victim ship which is not usually my thing, but I love both of them and also Young-jae is so pathetic and Kang-mo honestly scares him at multiple points. Meanwhile Kang-mo is kind of tired and fed up with him but at this point has sort of a weird connection with him regardless. They know each other.

-Yoon Eun-sung/Jo Young-jae: Young-jae is my favorite of the dudes who's obsessed with Eun-sung, and the most toxic of them as well. She used to be perfect and he had a resentful crush on her for that; now she's kind of messed up but still aloof and superior, and he still wants and hates her at the same time. And she knows, and teases him about it, and he acts nonchalant but you can tell it grinds at him. The best m/f dynamic of the show.

I have a bunch of other ships.... explaining them involves spoilers so I'll just list a few: Kang Mi-reu/Yoon Su, Yang Kang-mo/Yoon Eun-sung/Park Moo-yul, Lee Jae-kyu/Choi Chi-hoon, Lee Jae-kyu/Jo Young-jae.

BUT, PERHAPS MOST IMPORTANTLY... THE VIBES!!!

I love the characters of White Christmas but I mostly rewatch it so much bc 1) the pacing is on point and 2) it's so cinematically satisfying.

In terms of plot and pacing--Everything moves fast. Each episode is very distinct from the others, the plot consistently moving forward at a breakneck pace. Each episode I would say gets a little faster and wilder (with the exception of episode 3, perhaps, which moves a little slow--but then episode 4 goes completely unhinged, so it's a fair exchange). There is shit going on and they are going to cram a whole show's worth of content into 8 episodes and you are going to eat it.

In terms of production: Visually stark. Lots of glass and snow and shadows everywhere. Fun shots. A great soundtrack. For one thing, Wake Up by Arcade Fire recurs a lot and the vibes are immense and very teenage angst and "what the fuck am I supposed to do".

Anyways here's some shots I think convey the vibe:

ANYWAY.

Watch White Christmas! And if you do, or if you've already watched it, please talk to me about it! I am currently in the White Christmas feelings, as I often am this time of year.

[yaz-the-spaz]

“pAYNt” “zAYN” not Payne lol Also I guess Ziams are gonna pretend Liam’s interview with Logan Paul doesn’t exist. Nothing about what he says indicates they’re a couple and if they are it’s not a healthy relationships. Why would Liam speak about not being able to reach out tonhis supposed partner

look feel free to believe that, no one's stopping you (just like no one's stopping me from believing what I believe) just as long as you're also willing to acknowledge that that same merch:

had L's all over it - a pretty interesting coincidence/choice given all the possible letters he could've chosen out of the entire alphabet, including the one his own name starts with which would've made a hell of a lot more sense too if paynt really was just zayn+paint

had colors highly associated with zayn & liam - band colors which zayn clearly still associates himself to or he wouldn't have named his album yellow metal, not to mention the fact that after watching this fandom for almost 12 damn years I'm pretty sure he's very aware of the fact that ziam fans often post yellow and red hearts to signify them and you would think if he didn't wanna fuel rumors he would've picked literally any other combination of colors out of the rainbow. and yet.

sectioned off the words in the block/square t-shirt design so that the 'payn' part stood alone - lol does this honestly even need further explanation like ??

was released exclusively during pride month of all months which should be a MAJOR 👀 👀👀 to anyone in the queer community (esp given the rampant rumors about zayn's sexuality) - and again needs no further explanation imo

immediately followed all this up days later by wearing the merch, again full of liam connections, while performing a snippet of a song he famously dueted with liam on, that liam also literally has a line from permanently tattooed on his body - again, he's watched the fandom for 12 years you think he hasn't seen ppl toting this song as a ziam anthem? or that he didn't see any of the comments about the merch? you truly think he has zero awareness of how this all looks together? you really think the song choice means absolutely nothing to either of them when liam got a line from it permanently inked into into his skin and zayn even put a refrain of it in one of his own songs on icarus falls? when they literally dueted/harmonized on it live almost every night for like two years? when liam cried the first time they had to perform it without zayn? all the possible songs zayn could've chosen to show off his famous high notes and he choses the one with THE MOST ziam history right smack in the middle of the entire internet dragging liam to hell and i'm supposed to believe that means absolutely nothing?? nah fam.

(I'm not even gonna get into the fact that liam was drunk and looked super uncomfortable or that that asshat, l0g4n p@ul, would do literally anything for clicks or that liam's team let liam - someone with a known drinking problem - continue to drink during the interview just to get through it cause all that's been hashed and re-hashed and should be a MAJOR red flag that something's not right to anyone paying an iota of attention)

go on believing it has nothing to do with liam if you want, but that's a hell of a lot of overlapping coincidences to really just be all coincidences in my book. once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern. and this is wayyyyy more than three times, especially when you consider all the other big weirdly suspicious things they've been caught doing that link to each other

i mean if these are really all coincidences and they truly hate each other and don't talk or have any kind of connection/relationship with each other then i guess it's also just another big ol' coincidence that...

they both seem to really, really love the number 25 for some odd reason

or that they both seem weirdly dedicated to maintaining eyebrow slits even 10 whole years after they first started the trend between each other in 2012, despite the fact that they supposedly don't even talk anymore

2012

vs.

2015-2022 (and these are just a few of them btw, there's so many more)

or that the "e" in zayn's liam m.o.m. tattoo just so happens to double as an "a" in a way that makes it look suspiciously like it spells out liam

or that zayn just so happened to get an exact replica of the album artwork from liam's first single tattooed on his hand

[putting the rest under the cut cause this got wayyyy long]

or that liam just so happened to get/debut the 4 tattoo on his RING finger (RING!!) within days after pillowtalk was released and originally stylized as "PiLlOwT4lK" with a 4

or that neither the boys nor their families or friends/colleagues seem to be able to stop further fueling rumors by continuously interacting with, liking, and reposting from ziams:

x, x, x, x, x, x

...seriously there are soooo many instances of this and this is just the tip of the iceberg (i unfortunately reached my pic limit for this post but if i included even just a fraction of them this post would be 5 thousand miles long). honestly, if they all think we're just delusional crazies & weirdos why would they keep interacting with us and our posts? even when they're not even tagged (meaning they likely went looking for them)? and especially when so many of these posts are blatantly romantic/sexual and/or outright disrespectful to the women they're supposedly actually dating? (if you don't care to click i'll just go ahead and tell you that most of these literally have hashtags like #ziamisreal or #zerrieisfake/#zigiisfake, etc. plain as day and/or talk about ziam being queer/gay, coming out, and/or are edits of them literally in a very sexual or romantic pose with each other, i.e. things that cannot be interpreted any other way other than that they're queer as hell, their public relationships are fake as hell, and their families know it - i may reblog this with more pics later though for posterity if i have the time)

let's also not forget that twice now liam has spoken as if he's already married despite very much not being married (publicly anyway) and that zayn got a marriage poem tattoed despite also not being married and even being publicly single at the time - x, x, x

and don't even get me started on the damn cartier bracelets that they were both spotted wearing multiple times that were never connected to and/or seen on their respective girlfriends at the time

i mean at a certain point you literally gotta admit there's at least SOMETHING going on even if it's not a romantic relationship cause you honestly cannot make this stuff up, THIS IS TOO DAMN MANY "COINCIDENCES" TO BE GENUINE COINCIDENCES.

there's also tons of proof that most celebrity interviews are at least partially scripted and that people like liam are heavily media trained to make sure they stick to very specific pre-defined talking points (rebecca ferguson and the jonas brothers have talked about this - x, x). if you choose to believe everything in that interview was genuine and that it's a sign of a non-existent or unhealthy relationship, that's your choice. but as someone who's been in this fandom for almost a decade at this point, this is not the first time (and sadly probably won't be the last) that I've seen one of the boys outright lie on camera or seemingly do a complete personality 180 after saying/doing something totally different many times in the past.

do you know how many times various members of this boyband have said on camera that they don't talk to each other only to then turn around and say they never fell out of contact/never stopped being friends? it's truly baffling to me that anyone even believes that bs anymore with there is not only a literal mountain of evidence proving otherwise, but also plenty of admissions from the boys' own mouths themselves of this not actually being the case. so no, liam speaking about "not being able to reach out to his supposed partner" is not at all surprising to me. louis and harry had the same narrative not too long ago. so did zayn vs. the rest of ot4. and yet we have harry on camera recently admitting that they're all still friends and never had a falling out. this was of course followed up by liam calling zayn his "brother" which you can take how you will (he's obviously not gonna publicly call zayn his partner/husband/etc. when they're not out and when the majority of the fandom/gp still believes their relationship to be a bromance) but that's a pretty strange word choice to use for two people who aren't friends and aren't even in contact, so that alone should tell you something weird is up - if the giant trail of breadcrumbs already illustrated above somehow doesn't, that is.

furthermore, out of the hundreds of times liam's talked about zayn, he has almost always only ever had good things to say. there have literally only been about three notable instances where he's had something seemingly negative to say and at least two of those times happened in the company of extremely sketchy men who are known for doing literally anything for clicks (and during times where ziam rumors were reaching a fever pitch and it looked like someone was gunning for damage control). so excuse me if I choose to instead put my stock in the hundreds of other times where liam has only had nice things to say about zayn instead of the couple of weird times where he said something totally and completely out of character, and to pay more attention to all the million other things they do that say there is something going on between them.

again, you don't have to believe it's a romantic relationship, but at the very least you gotta suspect that you're being lied to about something because there is absolutely no way to explain most of this away. i mean this is stuff that has continued for OVER a decade, during most of which we were meant to believe they don't even speak to each other and you mean to tell me that the both of them have this many weird coincidences/linkages between them? (and these are only a few of the really big ones btw, not even getting to all the other smaller things!) and not only that but both them, their families, and their colleagues continue to show public support to the creepy weirdos online who supposedly constantly disrespect them and their relationships? like MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. either we're weird and delusional (in which case you would think they would've started ignoring us a long time ago). or we're onto something.

...I know what I believe ✌🏽🏳️‍🌈

[lilis-palace]

Hi Lili, I’m a huge fan of your work and always so impatient to see and collect every single one of your new cc haha

but I also discovered you had some build you made and I totally fell in love with them, especially the middle class apartment (interior and exterior)

I have seen that you gave your gallery ID to get it but due to bug in my game I cannot connect to it .. could it be possible that you send a tray file ..? It would be an absolute dream … I would love to make it my own and decorate other apartment of the building and do my gameplay inside of it

thank you very much for your work, love from france 🤍

post-scriptum: Also, i would love to see how you could create a more poor family build, kind of inspired by Victorian slum, i think it would be really fitting with your folklore set

i was searching for build like this in the sims on the internet but couldn’t find anything like this sadly … what do you think of this idea ?

Hey! I'm glad to hear that you enjoy my creations! 🥰

Well, I'm kinda struggling with that apartment cause i no longer have most of the cc I used. I really want to share more buildings with you in the future, partly bc I've created a bunch of new custom content since then and I've improved quite a lot.

About the poor ppl content:

I absolutely love making working class cc! Haven't thought of victorian slums yet, but that's such a great idea! I wanted to make some brick decor exterior cc anyways, so i'll put it on the list!! 🥰

[golbrocklovely]

I will never understand why colby hangs out with brennen still.. do you think he knows about all the shitty things he’s done? what’s your view on all of it if you don’t mind sharing?

i've talked about this before, but i don't mind doing it again.

this might have some controversial takes in it, so just a heads up.

tw: all the shit brennen has done

so to answer your first question: do i think colby knows all the shit brennen has done? i'm gonna say not really.

he knows some of it, for sure. bc that man is always watching. but that doesn't mean he believes it, which is where the issue lies.

this is how i think colby sees all of the shit brennen has done (this is just my opinion/assumption so take it with a grain of salt): first and foremost, he's not gonna believe the sa allegations. the main reason is bc nothing ever came of the allegations. the girl that accused brennen of sa-ing her has completely disappeared off the internet (is it bc she most likely got hate from the b's fandom… yeah) and she never pressed charges against him. does that mean he didn't do anything? no. god knows the legal system does not favor victims, and conviction for rape is only 5% of the time, if that. so that doesn't mean b is innocent. but realistically, all of that not happening in a way "proved" it wasn't true. not to mention, when brennen finally did address the allegations, he claimed it never happened, he was being extorted, and that he was getting his lawyers involved. that, in itself, made him seem more innocent; bc he was going out of his way to prove he was.

the other stories of fans coming forward telling how b made them feel uncomfortable were all anonymous. that doesn't mean they didn't happen. but when there is no account connected to the story, ppl are gonna jump to the conclusion that whoever wrote it is lying. i mean, i deal with anons all the time. i've had anons come on here and say that their friend fucked colby. do i believe all of them? no. that's just the reality of the situation. ppl lie bc they want attention, so a lot of ppl (colby included possibly) are gonna see the anon claims and think "this is just someone that doesn't like brennen and is lying to get him in trouble."

but tied with this, colby knows brennen. he's not gonna believe random ppl online that tell him that one of his closest friends is doing xyz things. but that's the reality for everyone. if someone you didn't know told you your best friend sa-ed them, you're not gonna believe them at first. you know your best friend better than this random person, why should you believe what they have to say? and when your friends goes out of their way to persue their innocence, you're gonna believe them more.

also, the internet/fandom has BURNED any chance they had at telling colby what to do or who to ignore for his own benefit. for years, colby has been told constantly that every choice he makes is wrong and that he doesn't know what he's doing and he's a dumbass. fans have questioned every single thing colby has done by his own volition for years, and bc of that… he ain't gonna listen to us. we lost our opportunity to tell him how to live his life (not to mention, if he wants to be friends with someone that's "not good", that's his choice to make at the end of the day, even if we don't agree with it).

elijah daniels, someone who knew b, also told fans that b was very good at manipulating, so it's possible that to some degree he told colby "hey man, this is all bs. i've got all the proof. don't worry about me." and that was the end of the conversation.

as for some of the more recent shit b has done (like saying 'fuck biden', becoming more into guns, planning to move to nashville, listening to morgan wallen, becoming a born again christian, and making those comments on bud light)…. imma be real with you, colby does not pay attention to everything b does. we as fans can pay attention and hyperfocus on what he's doing, colby doesn't exactly seem like the type to have a lot of down time. especially now dealing with his cancer and chemo treatment. he's got more important things to worry about.

that being said… idk what b's next move is here. bc all of this feels like he's drifting to the conservative right. now, is it possible that these are all just one off moments and in reality b's not about to become a grifter for the right? sure. b has never been a swell guy. he's always had problematic takes. he constantly queerbaited for years and never apologized, he's constantly made comments about fucking his mom (which like… no one talks about enough), he has said problematic racist shit in the past, every single one of his exes hates him, and he's constantly said disrespectful shit about women and still does. the issue is that he doesn't act like this ALL the time, so these moments can go unnoticed for the most part to some ppl. it's possible he's just a douche, regardless of his political affiliation. the society we live in doesn't teach us to be nice to everyone. ppl have their bias and it's our job as adults to unlearn a lot of the problematic behavior, like racism, misogyny, transphobia/homophobia. and b has never really done that.

however, there have been a lot of influencers that have started to go to the right bc that's where the money lies. and the one thing b has been consistent about is views and making money. so it won't be surprising if he all of sudden becomes a conservative-right wing person.

the thing that i find funny about him doing that, if that's what he plans, is that he's gonna get fucked. he's a brown skin mexican man who for years did fruity shit with his friends and made MONEY off of it. and colby, tho i love him dearly, isn't exactly a manly man. so what's gonna end up happening is brennen will surround himself with ppl who secretly think he's gay (derogatory), who's pretending to be straight (or will never be straight enough), and then on top of that he's not white. not to mention he comes from a single mother household, so he's never had a male figure in his life (even worse, for some reason). and he lived in la for years, doing shit for views, and has never had a real blue-collar job. NO ONE WILL LIKE HIM. but at least he'll be making money, right? probably not. b doesn't exactly have a huge fanbase anymore. sure, there are a decent amount still around. but it ain't like the good ol days. so if he burns this bridge, he's fucked.

to relate all of this new shit back to colby, unless b is doing this shit loudly in front of colby, i don't exactly see him ending the friendship. if b goes full right wing, maybe. i mean, colby and big nik used to be close but once nik started spouting all that hateful shit using god's words, colby slowly iced him out. he still follows him, but they haven't interacted in years. colby at the end of the day is a sentimental person, but if he feels wronged or uncomfortable by you, he'll let you go. slowly, but it will happen eventually.

i don't exactly see colby and brennen's friendship standing the tests of time. b hasn't matured since vine, and colby has. colby is remorseful for the shit he's done wrong, and personally i don't think b even thinks he's done anything wrong. that doesn't mix well. and i just hope one day colby wakes up and realize that a friendship like b's isn't really worth it in the long run.

[starbuckaroo]

Probably just coz it’s the middle of the night and I didn’t sleep last night either but I un-why-lamped myself on accident and I feel I must remove my clown nose, hang up the rainbow wig, so to speak. I no longer see a viable path forward for irl canon buddie 😔 the caveat of course is that I would love to be proven wrong, and I’m not about to be shoving these opinions on other people, but I gotta get them outta my head.

tbh I was brought into this show by ppl who fully believe(d) in canon buddie so I was eventually convinced to hop into the clown car w them. Idk if they’re still in there or not but it doesn’t much matter. I can be genuinely rooting for the honk honk crew and also acknowledge when I feel like the probability is no longer on our side.

I just I think I got so sleep deprived it made me a little high/delirious to the point where I accidentally tripped and fell into a General Audiences view of buck and Eddie and suddenly everything seemed like there was a totally obvious no homo rationale behind it. Granted, up until 6.18 I think the potential was still there, truly, but the way they ended s6 was a little too firm for me to believe they would still be able to lead a GA member down the path to canon buddie. The fact is that they needed to plant some explicit (by which I mean literally said with words or implied so strongly that there is no possible way a generic viewer would be able to take it another way) evidence that either one of them has ever in the past had attraction to other men or is currently reconsidering their approach. As simplistic and reductive as it feels for me, a certified Advanced Internet Queer, I do also think it is necessary to lead GA by the hand with something like that. And I think they’ve pretty much missed their chance.

I have yet to mention at all any thoughts about why this may have happened or what intentionality may currently or previously be present at any level of production of the show. That’s a whole other bag of worms and I have plenty of speculative thoughts but I’ll touch on that at the end if I get to it.

Like I just. I just suddenly saw a vision of a GA watching it and going: ah yes Buck has wanted to be a dad since s1e1 so he made friends with Eddie who already was a dad but didn’t have a partner so he had a slot open for a bff, so he taught Buck a little more about being a dad the same way Abby taught Buck about being a partner. The will scene was just Eddie making it explicit that he recognizes how buck has evolved into a dad-worthy character so he can be a back up dad. Eddie’s panic attacks? Not leading to something interesting about comphet, no it was legit just about Shannon, who is now his high school gf he knocked up at 18. The couch thing? Not that deep, just a fun visual to remind ppl that buck needs a good couch that he picks for himself/with his next partner (not rushed into it or picked for him by a well meaning but out of touch family member). And it shows up at Eddie’s house bc he heard about it from buck and is also feeling the need for a partner in his house. Even “you two have an adorable son” was given exclusively to Buck to cue his brain to think about how he does actually enjoy being seen as a dad and would like to have a son someday maybe, like it’s just for him to actualize that as a concrete goal for the future. The poker game? It’s Eddie showing off how confident and connected he is, proving he CAN be suave and have a night out if he does it to have fun (and not be a performance).

Plus the thing w Natalia they seem to be setting up to be pretty serious, given that they tried to run her off with his most offensive exes, and then made her be present for an emergency helps her see a little more of the reality of his job, and particularly with it being for the birth of a baby, AND her recognizing the way he looked at the baby and THEN saying “hey I like you let’s smooch” like…they legit set her up to actually see his major drama and his life/partner goals BEFORE they start aiming towards anything serious. So like yeah it never seemed like Taylor was gonna want kids but if Natalia didn’t want kids she wouldn’t have led him on AFTER watching him deliver a baby. Idk I just feel like they actually set Natalia up pretty well to be a decent match for Buck if that’s where they wanted to go. And same w Marisol to a much lesser degree obvs.

Idk I’m hella sleep deprived and can’t think of anymore of my “gotcha” buddie moments but like. EYE don’t see/interpret things this way, *but* I suddenly was able to understand how someone could pay close attention and still legit fail to spot the buddie of it all without being malicious.

And that plus the changing political climate and the writers strike make me think that it’s just not worth the risk like it may once have been, idk. Idk it sucks lol I don’t enjoy this, and I do feel like there are some episodes where the queer subtext is very strong so like maybe that WAS the goal at some point or some writers/directors managed to get more subtext in, like supernatural stylez lol idfk there’s no way of ever knowing that unless they say so, so idk

[alysiusart]

Hi BFF it’s @suzaeuphysolos (again I do not know how to switch my blog that i reply/ask with) I’m glad my ask thing inspired you lmao so I’ll contribute. Do you like Suzaeuphy? I’m curious bc I don’t seen much love for it ;; I’ve been into Code Geass for 2 years now, but my first hyperfixation fizzled out pretty quickly because...the fandom... There was not to many people to talk to, and ppl were so vicious because of Nina and it made me panic so 😭 but it hit me again this year and it hit me HARD. I’m having fun now, I know who to avoid lmao. I had a very personal connection to Suzaeuphy since the beginning and once the hyperfixation came back I just remembered how much they mean to me and over these past 5 months I have just been digging through the Internet in a desperate attempt to find content of them because THERE’S SO LITTLE!!!! It makes frustrated ngl I’m so desperate lmao last Suzaeuphy art was posted on twitter about a month ago I believe and nothing sense. Tbh i don’t get it AT ALL like HOW ARE THEY SO IGNORED ?! Anyways I just wanna know what you think about it :)

Well, so, despite never having made any digital art of them, I love suzaeuphie! Probably my faves after all the possible combinations of the main trio.

IMO, the same way I think that you can’t say who lelouch loved more between Suzaku and C.C, you also can’t say who Suzaku loved more between Euphie and Lelouch.

I know a lot of people claim that there was some power imbalance between them, but I think that those were all set by the circumstances (not by the characters themselves) and Euphemia actively tried her hardest to undo this gap.

Unfortunately, Suzaku has the worst communication skills known to men to try to open up about his trauma, but I believe he eventually would. The only thing Euphie and him sadly lacked was time to further develop their relationship. Had Euphemia not died so soon, they were absolutely capable of slowly managing all those issues together.

They were one of the healthiest couples in CG for me and, again, I really love them.

[panlight]

there’s a twilight zone episode where a man is discovered to be immortal bc of a photograph of him in the civil war. i wonder if the cullens were ever photographed in the past, the photo resurfaced, and ppl made connections. there has to be photos of them (or at least one of them) floating around the world. in any thing it’s them in the background. how do you think they’d handle confrontation if that was brought up? what if that’s how bella confronted edward?

I think it’s possible. I’m sure the Cullens try to get ahead of these things, but in you know the 1800s when photography first became a thing, Carlisle couldn’t possibly have conceived of things like internet databases or image searches where people all over the world might be able to one day find that picture of his medical school class. HIs biggest worry then would be other students in the class having a copy of it but that doesn’t seem like a huge worry. 

I think they’re a lot more careful about being in pictures now that they can be blasted all over the internet and “hot x” can go viral. “OMG I was driving up the coast with my friends and we went on a hike and I sprained my ankle and had to go to the ER and the HOTTEST DOCTOR EVER was there! I snapped a pic” like that could definitely happen and would not . . .be great. So they probably always skip school picture day and Carlisle tries to provide his own picture for hospital ID badges and asks not to have a photo of himself on the website or whatever.

I also think that they’ve scoured internet databases (archives from Carlisle’s old medical schools, genealogy sites, high school and college archives, etc) and done some hacking to delete suspicious photos. 

But there’s bound to be stuff they missed. 

I think finding a photo of say, JUST Carlisle or JUST Jasper or JUST Rosalie wouldn’t be much of a problem. It would be “heh, that looks just like this kid in school/Dr. Cullen/whoever” but you’d naturally just think it was a coincidence. It would be a lot harder to write off/explain if you found a picture with multiple Cullens in it. The odds that you found a picture that looked like one person are not that weird; the odds you found a picture that looked like four different people who are all part of a family group in the present day? A LOT harder to explain. 

Jasper and Rosalie would probably be “welp, gotta kill ‘em.”  I think overall the rest of the family would prefer not to have to murder anyone, and it would be a good time for one of those “Only Carlisle would think of it” ideas to solve this without killing an innocent in cold blood. Maybe they pay the person off with some of their ridiculous wealth. Maybe they just bail and hide out for 20 years. Maybe they come up with an elaborate plan to lead them to the wrong conclusion--Alice would have fun with that, and she’d at least foresee a confrontation if nothing else, and could get a sense of if the plan would work (see what I mean about Alice/Edward’s gifts making it hard to surprise the Cullens or put them in any real danger?).  So someone finds this photo of say, Carlisle, Esme, Edward and Rosalie from the 1930s and then they have to be like “oh, you’ve figured it out--we’re time travelers! Please don’t tell anyone, it will ruin our Mission and the Great Temporal Council will have us punished.”  Or try to pass themselves off as just generic immortals. I bet Edward could give a really convincing “we sold our souls to the Devil in exchange for eternal youth” speech (”It’s not so far from the truth, is it?” “Will you LIGHTEN UP, kid? Jeez.”) 

If it were Bella, though, Edward would be too flustered and give her some ‘it was the fluorescents” explanation. 

“Those are my great-great-grandparents and great-grandfather and a grand aunt.”

“Who all look like your present day family?”

“Yes.”

“But you’re adopted.”

“ . . . “

[witchvspatriarchy]

Goo Hara's story is one of the most tragic and rough in kpop history. And in light of the recent events, I'd like to share it.

It's pretty possible that most of you (ppl who weren't around for 2nd generation prime) dont know Goo Hara or her legendary group KARA. The group was among the top three girl groups nation wise, and number one in Japan.

But when KARA debuted it wasn't very popular, so when one member left, the company saw the opportunity to revamp the group and they added two new members. One of those was Goo Hara. She was introduced as main dancer and visual.

Hara's integration helped the group. Her innocent beauty in contrast to an effortless sex appeal caused men and women, children and adults, to fall in love with the idol, and this new fandom catapulted the group. Even though before debut she already had many fans, she already had antis too. A big portion of the original fandom rejected the integration of Hara. So from day one Hara had a strong individual fandom, but the group's fandom hated her.

Hara became the it girl of the moment, getting all the commercial contracts - this generated animosity from the fandom that questioned why she was the only one who was given the opportunities and why she did not participate in the commercial activities of the group. This did not weigh much on Hara at first, since she was somewhat accustomed to hate for no reason - in high school she was the victim of such extreme bullying that she had to change schools several times. She had the general public in her palms, so a portion of the fandom hating her was manageable.

But the love and support from the general public didn't last long, as netizens searched the internet to find something to destroy her and succeeded. They found Hara's teenage blog from before she was and idol, and in it they found photos of her in a hostel on her 17th birthday with her boyfriend at the time. They published them saying that Hara had had a romantic stay at the hostel and therefore she had sex while being a minor. And although the company denied it and Hara's friends said it had been a group trip, the netizens sought witnesses to support their accusations and thus began the gossip that Hara was promiscuous. This accusations gained notoriety when her relationship with Junhyun of B2ST became public. And so netizens invented her love affairs with many idols.

The situation reached a climax in Radio Star, when the MC asked KARA what topic they didn't want to talk about, to which Hara replied "dating." The three MCs started joking with Hara's promiscuity in a rather heavy way. And although it is well known that this type of image is harmful to an idol (mostly female idols) the MCs continued with the jokes. Hara tried to laugh it off but it was a comment from Kyuhyun that made her crack, being the gossip expert on the show, he said "if I said what I know, her career would be over." It was then that Hara threw him a bottle of juice playfully and then broke into tears. Hara was accused of being violent, unprofessional and disrespectful by netizens. And when one of the MCs came out in her defense and apologized for what they had done, the netizens said that "Hara's tantrums had forced him to apologize" and they hated her more.

Shortly after this, KARA disintegrated. But despite everything, Hara made a fortune as a commercial model. And there is nothing that netizens hate more than a successful, independent and wealthy woman. Especially if she achieves so despite public hate. And even more, if this successful, independent and wealthy woman is best friends with another successful, independent and wealthy woman (Sulli) that netizens also tried to destroy. And so, Goo Hara moved on with her life, even though the hate never stopped.

On September 4, 2018, Goo Hara (who is 1.64 and is so thin that she has been accused of being anorexic) was accused of beating her boyfriend. For the following week there were no signs of Hara, while the boyfriend appeared in the media several times a day giving interviews about it, and saying that she had gone crazy when he tried to end the relationship. He said he wasn't going to go public at first but when he got home he realized she had "disfigured" him and his face "is a big part of how he makes a living" (he's a hairdresser) so he decided to let everyone know the type of person she is. At some point the guy gave an interview in a hospital gown and connected to serum, despite having given interviews without these things several days before, and the hospital records shows he only had scratches. But despite being suspicious, the netizens did not need more, and cited what happened on radio star, her promiscuity and her friendship with Sulli as evidence of her violence and imbalance, and demanded jail time for Hara.

Time after that, Hara finally appeared on the media, which she had not done because she had been hospitalized due to the beating that the boyfriend (the alleged victim) gave her. Attack that damaged her internal organs to the degree of causing severe bleeding. Incidentally, there was damage to her intimate organs, so a rape is suspected, although it was never confirmed as such. And although Hara presented evidence and a witness, the netizens did not believe her, they said that she paid the witness and that, because she was promiscuous, her word had no worth. It was then that Dispatch revealed that the boyfriend had offered them the premise of the matter, then screenshots of the guy blackmailing Hara with an intimate video that he filmed against her will came to light. Just then the netizens decided to listen to her. The witness (Hara's roomie) came out to give her version of the facts: the guy had entered without permission with the access code and had woken Hara by kicking the bed. The witness and the messages proved that Hara had broke up with him and he wanted to blackmail her with the intimate video and threatened to end her career, Hara tried to take the video, and the guy beat her up. After that, he destroyed averything and anything he could find at the apartment, while Hara begged him not to publish the video. In the week that Hara was hospitalized the guy sent her threats and fragments of the video as blackmail.

For a while Hara had the empathy of the netizens, but the case was never resolved judicially, and the public eventually forgot what happened and attacked Hara again. This year Hara uploaded a photo to her social media for the first time, thanking the support she received in those difficult moments. And the netizens accused her of attention seeking, they said that if she was really hurt she shouldn't be on social media after what happened, and accused her of being unaware of the damage she caused her ex - who could no longer show his face in public. Soon she went to Japan to fulfill previous contracts and they accused her of fleeing, of indifference and said that what had happened hadn't been so serious if she was already working and she had made a big drama for nothing. Meanwhile the ex is active in social media and opened a new beauty salon, which was very successful. And as if that were not enough, the ex-boyfriend, Junghyun (B2ST) ended up entangled in the Seungri/Rising Sun scandal. And although it has been said that he was not an active participant beyond commenting on the videos that JJY sent, the netizens insisted that there were videos and intimate photos of Hara in the infamous chats.

After this, Hara uploaded a picture and netizens accused her of getting plastic surgery. Hara said that she had eyelid surgery for medical reasons and asked people to stop attacking her, but the netizens ignored and attacked her for the surgery.

May 25th 2019, Hara was found unconscious in her apartment. It was said it had been a suicide attempt. This incident, unlike others in the world of kpop, did not have a wave of positive and empathetic comments wishing her recovery, but the comments were insults, offenses and ridicule towards Hara. They even reproached her for her lack of success in committing suicide, accused her of faking it, said that the news were false to get attention and attacked her more than ever.

Soon after that Hara los her best friend.

This news were devastating but they were not a surprise, at least to me. I made a post about Sulli's passing asking people to support Hara, because I knew that she would be next. She had already tried. And she got hate for not succeeding.

A lot of the kpop fandom now wasn't around for most of the second generation mess. We had idols poisoned, attacked, and destroyed by netizens. There still are many idols victims of slave contracts and abuse but back then you saw the proof of those things regularly. With idols passing out and stuff.

Korea, specifically its treatment of celebrities is crap. Its inhuman. As international fans we should spread love for idols. And ask the companies to care for them, we should watch for their best interests as humans. What Hyuna and Edawn are doing, going on variety shows and doing photoshoots together as a couple is huge. What Mamamoo has been doing is huge. What Holland is doing is huge. Please support the idols who are actively fighting to change Koreas celebrity culture. ITS IMPORTANT.

And its important to know the stories of idols like Hara, Hangeng, T-ARA... because this idols were victims and where given nothing but hate. Hate that ended their careers or in Hara and Sulli's case, their lives. Hate kills. Haters kill. Not allowing people to live a plenty life, kills. Not allowing people to make mistakes, kills. I hope you read Hara's story and pay attention to female idols with a bad reputation, they're vulnerable in so many ways. And I hope that, in the future, when an idol survives a suicide attempt y'all wont ignore it like you did Hara.

REST IN PEACE🙏💔💔🙏

[nothorses]

hey sorry if it comes off as weird, but i'm a bit desperate. i had a real bad time figuring out my identity growing up and for like, the past 4~5 years i've become really comfortable and happy whenever i referred and thought of myself as a gay nb trans man; i experience legit gender euphoria whenever ppl address or acknowledge me as such, and the most connection i feel is to gay/bi men/men-aligned ppl. that said, i've struggled with obsessive/intrusive thoughts since i'm like, 12~13 due to (1/?)

a phobia, and they often appeared when i was already feeling low/stressed/anxious over unrelated stuff. y'know when you're having a good time and suddenly your brain goes 'oh hey, remember that thing you have doubts about and makes you distressed? and you think it's not true? well, here it is again (: you're welcome!'. that's it.

so social isolation due to the pandemic has taken a toll on my mental health and recently i have been... struggling a lot not only with dysphoria (i was supposed to start hrt last year but it was postponed due to, well), but also with obtrusive/intrusive thoughts over 'how i'm faking it, i am actually a cis lesbian' (i never felt attracted truly to women, even tho i had kissed two before, and i am Positively attracted to men in a way i can only describe as 'gay').

it has gotten to a point where i cannot think about, y'know, woman characters from stuff i like that i feel like this is somehow a sign i'm actually a lesbian; i have been dreaming a lot of situations i'm either framed as a lesbian or a straight girl, i have been hyperaware of how cis ppl perceive me (pre-transition, as 'girl') and obsessing over little shit like, if women are looking at me in certain ways when i have to go out (sometimes even 'wishing' it, as if it wanting to 'prove' anything).

i feel...... exhausted, none of these make me feel good, all of this makes me feel distressed. i get dreadful when i take 'lol ur lesbian' results at stupid internet quizzes too. i feel like i cannot talk to anyone about it bc i feel like they're gonna try to feed me either 'internalized lesbophobia' or terf rhetoric, which is smth im v aware of, and part of the reason i've been obsessing over as well.

i had mild doubts about stuff before (like if i was rly a binary trans guy or nb, or if i was bisexual) but none was... like this, y'know.  i was also dumb and read a bbc article about detransitioning ppl which opened with 'studies say most trans ppl dont doubt' etc. featuring two cis lesbians that detransitioned after entering a relationship with one another. i feel rly rly rly dreadful i wish i could go back to feeling like myself (gay and guy) like i did before.

i'm sorry for the longest fucking ask btw, and also, tumblr hadnt let me send the rest for like, Hours, i'm deeply sorry

[Edited for formatting]

I think a lot of this is very normal, especially for transmascs.

We’re constantly fed this idea that we can’t really trust our own perception of reality, that we don’t know ourselves as well as others do, and that the things we believe about ourselves are temporary, silly, and “signs” of some deeper reality that someone else knows for us. It’s only natural that we’d internalize some of those feelings, and struggle to trust even the most irrefutable evidence of our own realities.

If it helps to have some tools in those moments, a couple of reminders:

Cis girls do not typically dread the idea of being girls. They might dread the social repercussions or expectations, they might hate girls who look/act in certain ways, but they do not typically hate that they are girls.

If you are feeling dread over the idea that you might be attracted to women, you probably aren’t! It’s good to work on feeling more at peace with the possibility, because orientation can be very fluid for some folks, and being ready to accept yourself if things change takes a lot of pressure off- but if you don’t want to be with women, you just literally do not have to be with women. For any reason. Even if you are “secretly” attracted to them, if you don’t want to be with them anyway, you simply do not have to be.

Trans people experience doubt. We experience it all the time. We experience it pretty much endlessly! Maybe there are trans folks who never, ever doubt their genders, and I’m very happy for them; but that’s the exception, not the rule, in my experience. This study talks about the steps toward trans self-acceptance, and finds each step is an ongoing process, and often a back-and-forth. It was very comforting for me to recognize the patterns & know I’m not alone.

The focus on AFAB detransitioners is driven by transandrophobia. Because saving the “poor little girls” is a compelling motivator in a misogynistic society. Most detransitioners are actually folks who were AMAB, and found the societal pressure and backlash was too overwhelming, or made things too unsafe, for them to carry on with their transitions. Most detransitioners, period, are people who had to stop because of safety issues, or lack of access to their transition needs.

It’s very normal to go through periods of high doubt, and periods of high self-assuredness. You may just have to ride this out; surround yourself with as much support and love as you can, remind yourself that those fears aren’t really based in reality, and be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Try to make choices that prioritize your mental and emotional health.

You will get through this period of doubt, and come back to finding love and joy in your identity again! It might just take a little time & patience.

(Also no worries over the sending confusion; Tumblr’s a lil broken sometimes, and it’s genuinely not even remotely an issue.)

[hopelessly-aro]

quick thing about carla from someone who knows some computer science shit:

(cause i know ppl wonder how come she’s the skateboard and the wheelchair and the thing on the table and (possibly) the motorbike)

carla is an AI which means she’s basically some super advanced software. so she’s probably stored on some sort of chip, which can be removed from one machine and put in another. she’s not the actual hardware (the physical skateboard etc) but a chip that can be put in many different machines and used to control them.

either that or she (and thus most of her processing power) is stored on some servers somewhere, the skateboard is connected to them via the internet and so she runs remotely.

also the fact that cherry has seemingly infinite machines that he can run carla on makes perfect sense. computer scientists are always making stuff just cause they can and not necessarily because they think they’ll ever need it. cherry probably one day just thought “huh i wonder if i could teach carla to run a wheelchair” and cause he’s rich he just made a whole ass wheelchair for that singular purpose. and it matched the aesthetic because honestly why wouldn’t you?

that could also explain the motorbike looking like carla but cherry not interacting with it. he likely had already put carla’s chip into his skateboard and there wasn’t any time to swap her into the motorbike. and obviously the motorbike can run normally without her because it would be stupid not to. (or if carla is on a server rather than a chip then cherry didn’t have time to connect the motorbike to the server/internet to run carla)

honestly as a computer nerd carla is fucking fascinating. i could write a whole ass essay on my theory as to how she was developed because i kinda understand what the thought process cherry might have taken to get there would have been

the actual artificial intelligence might be a little far fetched (idk i’m not totally up to date on this stuff) but honestly with enough processing power i could totally see something like that being possible. it’s a little over the top cause it’s anime, of course it is, but honestly not that ridiculous

p.s. i have no idea how coherent this is so feel free to ask if something makes no sense oop

p.p.s. i’m also ofc not an expert so if i’ve said anything blatantly wrong or impossible pls correct me lol

[letterstomilen]

i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)

Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.

Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 

“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.

(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)

“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”

“You said that six seasons ago.”

Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”

“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.

Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.

(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)

“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”

A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.

Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)

Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.

Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.

“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”

“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.

“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”

“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.

“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”

Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.

“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”

“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.

“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.

Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.

 Childe

12:35

ur a horrible influence on tonia

 Childe

12:35

and whos this ZHONGLI

 Childe

12:35

also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os

 Twin 1

12:37

a normal person would say hi

 Twin 1

12:37

also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school

 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?

 Childe

12:38

thats not very convincing

 Childe

12:38

also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares

 Twin 1

12:39

isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12

 Childe

12:42

thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”

 Twin 1

12:42

well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk

 Childe

12:42

whats asmr

 Childe

12:43

asking for my sister btw

 Twin 1

12:44

A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.

 Childe

12:45

wtf?

 Twin 1

12:45

people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????

 Childe

12:45

idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos

 Twin 1

12:47

… makes sense

 Twin 1

12:47

check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type

 Childe

12:48

i thought we were talking about my sister????

 Twin 1

12:50

[message screenshots.jpg]

 Twin 1

12:50

ya she told me everything

 Twin 1

12:50

have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA

 Childe

12:51

hope he does it

He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)

It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)

When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.

The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.

Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.

Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.

“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”

Holy shit.

For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)

His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.

Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”

This time is different though.

Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.

And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.

The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)

Oh God — oh fuck.

“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)

“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)

“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”

“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”

“Huh?”

The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?

“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.

“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.

“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”

“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”

“Yeah.”

Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.

Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.

[seoafin]

BYE I WAS IMMERSED WITH GENSHIN’s STORY PLOT (AND THE FANARTS ON MY TL) WHICH WAS ALSO DROPPED EARLIER THIS MORNING AND FORGOT ABT JJK FOR A SPLIT SEVONDSJJSJEJ

but anyways ,, jjk 145// the more i write abt it, the more i’ll sound incoherent, this is ur last warning to ignore this 🧍‍♂️(1)

the one who is based on avalokitesvara (i’ll start calling it them as kannon from now) that i mentioned was actually brain (out of ppl) 😭😭

kenjaku (羂索) is shorten from "不空羂索観音 (fukukenjakukannon)" ,, they existed b4 the heian period... older then sukuna ?? suggested that brain is at least 1k years old... hsjsjjsjs

fukukenjakukannon, a manifestation of the buddhist god of mercy and compassion,, perhaps of some interest is that the fukukenjaku shares some kanji with gojou's infinite void followed by kanjis for trap & rope, with kannon directly referring to an all-knowing/overseeing divine existence. it rly does seem that kenjaku, tengen, and gojou's fates have all been strongly interwined throughout history,, kannon has been perceived as both male and female depending on the portrayal and the region, not unlike jjk's kenjaku switching bodies and genders over the course of time (kamo vs kaori vs getou)

some associations with kannon may be relevant to jjk. namely, as yuki mentions, salvation ,, kannon is a deity to serve his subjects, and resolve their suffering by eliminating its source,,, in which case, i think kenjaku's goal may possibly not be too far off from geto’s ,,,,, he may think that he is saving a group that is enduring greater suffering than any other. whether that is shamans, cursed spirits, or sth else entirely is up for debate. given his persistence over the millenia, and the likelihood of spreading suffering worldwide through a universal tengen merger, it's more than likely that he has a very personal motive. note that under his plan it is specifically the evil of a human that would spread and destroy all of humankind connected through tengen

this is an interesting contrast to sukuna, who is much more whimsical and far less calculated. i think the clash between these 2 in the past will have strong relevance for the future,,, on the other hand, since kannon has historically manifested in response to the suffering of various beings, it may be that the feelings of cursed spirits as a whole have led to kenjaku's existence. he could very well be a curse born from curses, instead of from humans.

okay now what i'm really excited abt: the relationship between kenjaku and the 6 eyes. 1 of the functions of kannon is to protect the 6 realms of rebirth/the 6 paths. u may already be familiar with this buddhist concept as it has been referenced in a variety of animanga (notably it is a major plot point of naruto, it's mukuro's ability in KHR, etc.). there's strong reason to believe this concept also has connections to the gojou 6 eyes ability. i think if we get to learn more abt the 6 eyes, i may be able to speak more on this point.

(as a side note here, i’ll mention that there’s an association between kannon and the protection of aborted children, perhaps relating to og kamo and the death paintings)

at the very least, we know that kenjaku and the 6 eyes are in opposition, and i'm speculating that the gojou bloodline is the true manifestation of a protective deity, at least for the humans, and kenjaku's goals are antithetical to that,,, perhaps, as yuki kind of suggested, taking the name kenjaku is a joke of sorts. if sukuna is malevolence incarnate, kenjaku is mercilesness,,

i think some of the core concepts being explored by the tengen storyline are that of form and existence. gojou satoru, tengen, kenjaku, and eventually the star plasma vessels are existences that transcend the norm,,, toji on the other hand, is the only example of the opposite. an existence that shouldn't have ever existed, in a sense. kenjaku seemed to have used that to his advantage in his manipulation of the events in hidden inventory,,, but it also leads me to believe that only a similar anomaly could undo the new destiny he's setting up for himself.

geto was the perfect piece to set kenjaku up for success in conducting a merger and putting this culling game into motion. geto's path has led to this outcome,,, in which case, an apt parallel as we have known all along is that gojou's path should lead to the counter-outcome: megumi, yuuta, and especially yuuji— these 3 will be the key to unravelling kenjaku's plan.

also tengen said that kenjaku’s objective is to send all the ppl in jpn to higan or turning all non shamans into one but he doesnt have enough cursed energy to do that,,, i did say that yuuji’s birthday took place in the 4th solar term where a part of a week long celebration haru no higan (higan 彼岸→other shore, buddhist pārāmitā), when ppl would honour the dead and sweep ancestral tombs took place,,,

so theres this buddhist mantra, called the “heart sutra” and the last verse of the sutra is,,

there are many sutras in buddhism, but the most well-known among them is probably the Heart Sutra,, altho it depends on the sect (of buddhism), the heart sutra is often read at funerals and memorial services, so even if,, and for some reason the sutra is often associated to kannon even in the utube thumbnail 👁👁 if u search up prajnaparamita sutra,,

heart sutra has the meaning of "an important teaching to reach the state of enlightenment by the power to see through the truth and essence." which is based on the idea of ​​"void" as this important teaching,, the sutra tells us what we shld do to be free from the suffering of this world and live in peace,, in the heart sutra, the idea of ​​"void" is especially important.

buddhism can be broadly divided into theravada and mahayana buddhism,,,,

theravada is a teaching that only some ppl (those who practice buddhism with strict lifestyle like the monks) reach the state of enlightenment, while mahayana is a teaching that all ppl (some who practice Buddhism) can reach enlightment even if u dont practice anything related to the religion,,, the idea of ​​the void has the idea of ​​not being caught up in individual things and not being obsessed with it, and the idea of ​​heart sutra belongs to the category of mahayana buddhism

"void" does not mean "empty" but "no substance (no fixed shape)". the sutra also states that "everything keeps changing" and "although it keeps changing, the essence (core) of things remains the same."

for eg, the idea is, "i am me, no matter how old i am,, my appearance and various abilities deteriorate, how I am evaluated by others, whether i feel good or bad."

in other words,,, it’s a teaching to be aware of the essence without being caught up in the phenomenon of change.

"void" means "no substance (no fixed shape)", which means that u don't have to be obsessed with things or get caught up in one value.

eg, the reason why diamonds are beautiful is that diamonds arent beautiful from the beginning, but that humans decide that they’re beautiful,,, and that each person has a fixed evaluation of the movement of their hearts that they feel is beautiful. but thats not always the case right?

the last verse goes like this :

“Therefore, Prajna Paramita is known as the most divine mantra,

the great enlightening mantra,

the utmost mantra,

the incomparable mantra,

destroyer of all suffering!

Since what is true is not in vain, listen to the mantra of the Prajna Paramita– it goes like this:

GATE GATE PARA GATE PARASAM GATE BODHI SVAHA!”

the translation of the last line is: “going, going, going on beyond, always going on beyond, always becoming buddha.”

quoted from a web here : “it suggests movement toward awakening. It expresses the enlightenment of a buddha as an unfolding process, rather than a steady state. It puts us in the hopeful position of one who may not have arrived, but who may be on the way. The destination may not be an end, but the journey itself.

As appealing as this translation is, it is by no means the only one. When you do an Internet search for the terms “Heart Sutra” or “Prajna Paramita” you get numerous references. At these various pages you will find several different translations of the mantra. These include:

* Gone, gone, gone beyond, gone altogether beyond. Oh what an awakening! All hail!

* Gone, gone, gone beyond altogether beyond, Awakening, fulfilled!

* Gone, gone, gone to the Other Shore, attained the Other Shore having never left.

* Gone, gone, totally gone, totally completely gone, enlightened, so be it.

* “Oh, you have done! You have done! You have completely crossed the margin. This is Enlightenment! Congratulations!” “

the irony though of toji dying thinking that he should've stuck his principles but actually having ridiculous impact on the world,, this also puts a new spin on the "look upon the flesh of one who is free" (afaik it was left untranslated on his cover page when he invade dagon’s domain) and the implication is imo,,, the more cursed energy, the more restrictions and so in a way humanity goes into a devolution the more cursed energy there is because they will be bound even more tightly to the cycle than before,, which is the irony of the kenjaku & bodhisattva linkage

toji had a heavenly restriction and has zero cursed energy, which is an anomaly that is his own, which makes me wonder what he would've been like if he had an expressed technique,,, but it's the zero cursed energy part, that uniqueness, that makes him powerful in canon

im rly curious how having cursed power automatically seems to lock u into a binding,,, which is seemingly fate. the shaman world rly operates entirely on rules,, where this is because of tengen's barriers or the origin of techniques being more commonplace im not sure

i used to think CTs came abt when individual sorcerers made pacts with supernatural beings etc but now im not sure,, despite leaning hard on shinto and buddhist frameworks there isnt much overt indication over what is and is not a real power in canon,,, like we have mahoraga but are bodhisattvas assumed to be real and exist? or as figures of belief, are they and other figures of shinto mythology, all just cursed spirits in the end?

but that tengen is linked with the proliferation of 6 eyes and star plasma vessel, makes me start wondering how and why tengen started this whole barrier thing,, like yes jpn has a ton of cursed spirits but was it before or after the barrier i can't remember now

maybe Kenjaku was messing around too much back then,, i like how sukuna also maybe had very lil to do with this and is possibly going to interfere as a wild card once more. is the idea to use him as a hail mary so u convey more ppl to the other side all at once? unless kenjaku thinks sukuna is the person who got closest to the next evolution of humankind and is actually a fan 🥴

but yeah if sukuna and megumi can remake the world together can they just hit the reset button so tengen isn't somehow this massive jungian collective unconscious? is sukuna going to accidentally save the world lol,,, i didn't care for fate themes before since it felt like akutami hadn't wholly committed to it as a theme,,, but fate and collective responsibility/influence on the individual just became a much bigger theme

also the mind/body/soul thing with tengen,,, when is that idea coming back

so tengen and sukuna are so far the only ppl who have said to have evolved into curses, whereas kenjaku still seems to be a shaman, as well as angel. what catalyzes that??

also how tf are the cursed weapons made i have questions,, just putting it out here but i actually thought that if toji, presumably, didnt rebel and defected from the clan,,, what are the chances of zenin thinking of turning him into a cursed weapon lol

,,, does being a cursed spirit mean u are bound even more tightly to fate? or do u escape because u are no longer a human bound by ur technique and u are instead just energy that keeps cycling over and over.....cursed energy rly just karma with strength mechanics???

why did gojou get rid of the black rope only for yuuta go to find more??? seems contradictory,, like...did he exorcise sth in that couple years gap?? or were there other reasons? or is HE the one scared since he also hid the inverted spear of heaven,,, makes me wonder how common knowledge all these mechanics actually are

trying to wrap my head around potential megumi learned helplessness or not being able to work through his own problems, or if it's this weird backward wishing that he didn't HAVE to deal with problems if he didn't HAVE to do these things and there were simple solutions,,, like i don't think he's exactly lazy bc he seems to do a lot of work behind the scenes, but there's a certain stasis to him, a wishing not to know. i wonder if he was ever given the "u are a child and I'm the adult" speech nanami gave yuuji

nanami, qifrey and maybe reigen are the adult/ mentor figures i wish was/ is in my life orz

i think it's kind of funny how 145 is like suddenly christianity! this manga is just abt the many ways people seek freedom and want to be delivered,,,

but im not going to talk abt it 😔 — i only have lil to no knowledge abt it other than the lil trivias my friends dropped time to time whenever we’re having a discourse abt religion suddenly lmao and im not a big fan of talking abt things idk abt bc i’ll just look stupid otherwise LMAO

its interesting to note that christian have this uh for a lack of better way to describe it, higher power which can grant u eternal salvation or damnation while buddhism is just fending for urself in pursuit of enlightment ,,, while buddhism also have beings like devas/ deities it just means that 1) if ur born as one, u must have done a good deed sometime in one of ur previous lives,, 2) u just have a ridiculous long life span but yes u’ll eventually die again and rebirth as sth depending on ur actions,,, that goes for living in gods, demi-gods, humans, animals, hungry ghosts or hells realms

this is completely unrelated but,, my mother used to blast the heart sutra frequently in my house back then and the only thing i catch is the “gate gate parasamgate bodhi svaha” which i used ,, whenever i see sth..that is supposed to be unseen

theres this time i stayed behind in cram school for an exam,, i purposely took a another path from my usual one to clear my head (but im still familiar) and i saw this guy standing on the side road and the only thing that went thru my mind back them was “why is he not moving? is he waiting for someone? is he lost or sth,, the main road is just 6 foot away tho lol”

it was until i keep looking at each house that i finally notice that the spot he stood on is not even a ground lvl asphalt,, it’s a fucking sewer which means that he’s actually floating 😭😭 i just jogged and say sth along the line “wow today, ma is cooking hotpot for dinner (i actually have no idea what she plans to cook everyday) i dont want to eat it cold,, so i better hurry up” out loud while chanting the verse in my head

theres also this time me and a friend were sitting on my motorcycle after getting our late night food run until a particular smell and when we stay silent, a woman is singing on the branch right above us that we dipped right away and i almost catch a ticket for speeding all the while thinking abt that verse💀

i dont mind seeing one of “them” but i do have a problem with them following me back home and end up haunting my house for some period of time,, that one or sth ghost who slam things around and giggle in the middle of the night is enough for me to deal with 😀

now im off crying abt genshin (again) now and i’ll go back to sleep afterwards,,, ALSO I LOVE WITCH HATE ATALIERJSJEJEJ- 🐱 (2)

you literally brought up THE SAME EXACT QUESTIONS I HAVE!!! like why would gojo send yuuta to find more of the rope if he destroyed it in the first place?? unless he destroyed it in the heat of the battle with miguel during the prequel but it didn’t look like that. also i saw on twitter kenjaku might not even be a male?? apparently when referring to kenjaku, tengen didn’t use gendered pronouns. im also super curious as to how the six eyes, star plasma vessel (riko...), tengen, and kenjaku are all entwined because kenjaku’s plan was a long time coming, even though he was foiled two times already.

this reminds me of the heavenly restrictions because im still so confused about what exactly it is!! is it something a person is born with or is it something that is placed on a baby by another person??

you brought up fate too and i think that’s such an interesting concept like with akutami making more and more references to the heian era and the “golden age of sorcery” in the end I feel like everything led up to this moment. the existence of cursed energy too just feels like this “endless cycle of fate” which makes sense considering this theme also kinda aligns with yuuji’s birth which was pre planned. idk...this whole thing is suddenly feeling so much more insidious than we may have originally thought.

the sudden christianity mention is a pretty odd choice on akutami’s part but a lot of ppl (including me) are speculating that hana is going to be a harbinger of doom or something. once again is she even japanese?? the western concept of angels have never been particularly altruistic either.

unfortunately gojo has always been treating megumi like an adult so i don’t think he was ever given the “you are a child” talk from gojo. we can see it in their first meeting too. when their conversation takes a turn to serious, it becomes a conversation is from one adult to another. gojo also seems like the type to pile even more responsibility onto megumi because gojo isn’t responsible, so megumi had to pick up that slack.

i agree with you. i think sukuna is literally a wild card LMAO he does what he wants when he wants and that’s in. i don’t even think you can have a contingency plan for sukuna because he’s just that unpredictable!!!

nanami, qifrey and MAYBE reigen LSDNFKJFKN....reigen beats gojo by far though so i’ll give reigen that (that's not saying much tho tbh 😭) reigen's still sexy as hell tho 😁

also you mentioned khr!! khr is one of my favorite mangas of all time....although amano akira cannot write women despite being one khr still holds a very special place in my heart. i had no idea mukuro was influenced by kannon (to be fair i was like 14) but then again...mukuro’s eyes....i can’t believe our tastes in animanga are the same....bestie our taste>>>

HELLO???? YOU’RE RUNNING INTO SUPERNATURAL CREATURES LIKE THAT??? also motorcycles!! now im like 80% sure you're in SEA somewhere, bc as someone who lived in a SEA country for 3 years and went to school in a haunted building I feel you LMAO

[flying-elliska]

i didnt rly get time to tell you this after reading chapter 8 last week but ohmygod ellie. you manage to outdo yourself every fucking time im always so blown away by your talent

god i dont even think i can reread it because seeing love portrayed the way you just did makes me cry so bad lmao (the same way i cant reread lucas' pov from diamants with all the sacrifices he made for eli)

it's always so beautiful seeing them nourish each other's souls with the love and warmth they share, and how they treat each other's feelings so delicately (lucas still not admitting to eliott about how his taste buds absolutely dont agree with eliott's and instead seeking out cuisines that'll cater to eli's tastes 🥺 also you have the best date ideas ahhh your mind)

the poetry absolutely broke me tho i teared up so bad sksks youre sickeningly romantic and it hURTS 😭😭 that scene is def in my top 5 romance literatures fr

goddd i love how all versions of Elu in your fics have different love languages and their love is still idk insurmountable(?) like they'll gladly give up everything for each other and still have so much love to give (sorry im a mESS just thinking about it)

also that cliffhanger was so satisfying thank you so much for not letting us experience their heartbreak over separating im so so glad he had the epiphany of this possibility before it was too late ahhhh IM SO HAPPY THEYRE OKAY. yk me being me and generally expecting bad outcomes to get through life, I thought eliott would be snatched away and they'd lose a few years and be reunited later somehow but ofc the pain of loss cant be undone (cause when does life ever work in your favor lol) but im so fucking glad you didn't let that happen omg

sksjsj sorry for this rambling i just wanted you to know what an absolute blessing you are to everyone who gets to read your work (honestly i even recommended this to my friend and would gladly do so to anyone cause i feel bad for whoever hasn't gotten to experience your writing it really is an indulgence 😭 and how you manage to churn out such incredible work in just dAYS?!? is beyond me fr)

also i cant help but envy ppl who have you in their lives cause like omggg this lovely and brilliant person exists amongst you !!! no but rly, this isnt just about your ideas or eloquence, i really love your tumblr (and it feels like a glimpse into your personality) and how well-rounded it is in terms of politics, activism, aesthetic, humour, lol i could go on and on.

thank you so so much for all the efforts you put into your beautiful work and posting your chaps in time (i dont get how you could think we wouldn't follow this fic past winter cause it's literally impossible to abandon your fics in between)

i hope you're doing well and hope you always remember that you're very well-loved by all of us ❤️❤️❤️

🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ok im just gonna leave sksjd

what a sweet ask anon ^^ haha it also embarassed me a little, but in a good way ^^

the thing about the love languages is very true. i love that they’re so attentive to each other in canon, that being honest with each other is not always easy but even though they struggle, they keep trying to pay attention and to open up. I think this is so important because in romantic stories there is often the first rush of attraction, the crush, where you get an intuition of who this person is and why they would fit well with you, but if you never go beyond that, it feels like a very shallow story.

I love that with Elu there is this attraction at first sight that feels very romantic and ‘meant to be’ but the story doesn’t equate that with them immediately being completely easy or familiar with each other, they’re still strangers that have to get to know each other. and i think that love language develops at that moment, to bridge the gap between this butterflies-in-the-belly feeling of being irresistibly drawn to a stranger ; and falling in love with a person because you’re discovering who they really are - but it’s very scary, because you have to take the risk of being vulnerable and rejected and messing up. it’s like celine sciamma said, about lovers feeling like they’re inventing a new language every time. if there is not an element of that - something made of inner jokes, of unique little moments, of tentative attentions and attempts at connection, of doubt and taking risks, of learning something entirely new and specific, of making something new together - the romance generally bores me very deeply (i hate insta love for this reason, honestly.)

anyway, yes ^^ with knight AU I had thought about either making it like the movie where only Eliott goes back but like...it’s at the core of Lucas’ character that he goes after Eliott to a dark and scary place to let him know he’s not alone so that just needed to happen ^^

thank you for recommending my writing to your friend, that’s so sweet <3 haha and for your compliments, i think i’m absolutely delightful to be around at times but also frequently grumpy and cantankerous and a lil pretentious so you know ^^ it’s easy to present an idealized version of yourself on the internet. But! it’s still lovely to know that what you put out there vibes with another person so much, you know ?

anyway, big love to you, i hope you are having a lovely day and are doing ok ! <3

[samshogwarts]

Hey guys! Little information! The following post is a personal post with some personal information about the "creator" of this blog. So if you are not interested in this kind of stuff, ignore this post pls, because it's getting very personal.

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Hey Guys, its me, Janina. The one who made this blog. For everyone who didn't know - Janina is my real name. Anyway.

I got a few messages the last weeks that my enthusiasm feels fake and it's too much. No one could be so happy because someone else draw a little Pic of the OC or stuff. This messages make me think. If it would just one person I would say "OK it's his/her personal opinion". But I got this kind of message from different people. So I were thinking and I realize something.

Yes for someone who didn't know me my enthusiasm could be look like a fake. So I want to explain the situation.

First of all, I don't blame this people who think so and I don't want to change someones mind. But maybe the following information could be a little bit helpful....

I think most of the ppl who interact with me in tumblr are younger than me and don't ask me why, but I want you guys to know that there is someone in this world who like you the way you are and that you art/writings and of Ocs are amazing. And I really think that way.

When I was in your age or even younger I was way to shy to show my art or tell the story I were written. There was simply no one in my life who encouraged me. The only person who got my back was my mum. But you know... If the howl world tell you that you are ugly, useless, untalented and hopeless you don't believe one person who tell the opposite. Especially when it's your own mum. I mean, she had to "love" you. It's her job to tell that.

When I want to become an actor and had to change to do that even my grandmother looked at me "honey.. Who should cast you with your look and that body?"

When I want to become a cutter for movies my father looked at me: " sweetie, you know you need talent for that?"

When I change my style, dry my hair and had my emo phase, ppl at my school try to cut my hair, said I am ugly, through things at me try to hurt me with fire and stuff.

I stopped talking about my problems because my teen friends couldn't handle it. My best friend at this time was a hardcore cutter and she cuts herself even when I tell her what happend with my family. So I never tell anything. (she always called me when she cut herself and ask for help)

People were making fun of my art and my story, so I stopped showing them. I created the first vision of my OC.

This OC has a tragedy backstory, but also the courage and the power to escape this. The power I don't have. I started to hate me for being so weak. And then I readied the last harry potter book when I turn 18. Most of the time I cried, because the harry potter books were always there for me and gave me strange. Don't ask me why, but I feel more welcomed in Hogwarts than in the real world at this time.

And don't ask me why, but after I finished the last book I wanted a change in my life so damm much. And I change a lot. I broke up the contact with my grandmother and my father, the friendships of my teens ends because I were not willing anymore to take anymore everything by myself. But I were still to shy to follow my dreams or showing my true self. The only one who know this things were my mother.

Could you even imagine - a stupid ugly girl like me was even able to find a boyfriend!

But my stupidity reached me and because I was eating all my problems and worries, I got a eating disorder, sleep disorder and with 26 a burn out (lot of stuff happend there, but I don't want to write all the details and get on your nerves 😅)

Anyway I were at my limit and at the bottom of my life. And I thought my best friend at this time would help me. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! No. She was angry with me, fight with me and even try to ruined some of my friendships.

So last year I decided that this would stop right now. I stopped shutting up my mouth. I stopped being passive. I still don't have self-confidence, but I want to enjoy my life and do what ever I want!

And that's the reason why I am so enthusiastic when you guys post something. I think it's amazing how talented you guys are. I mean. Look at all the MCs you created! So different, so mixed, so original! 💙❤️💚💛 You are great creator and great person and I want you to know that.

I don't want to use my past as a excursion for anything. Because of my past, I want to enjoy my life as much as possible and I want to encourage you guys to do the same.

Even if I am just a unknown person on the internet for you, feel free to connect me if you had any problems or worries!

Even if I am just a unknown person on the internet, be sure there is someone who will tell you the truth!

I know I am a strange, crazy person with a strange self reflection. But you know... I am happy what I am (a fighter!)

So this is the reason why I have overreacting sometimes. Their are no fake, it's just my personality which I had to hide for year. So be sure I will continue doing crazy stuff. And I will continue loving you and your stuff. Muahahahaha 😈

Maybe the strangest post I've ever done over and out. Wish you all a great day! 💙❤️💚💛

(if you have any questions, feel free to ask! I am a open book)