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lisired · 3 months

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die in your arms

pairing: jaehyun x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, angst, horror/thriller, explicit descriptions of violence and murder, unprotected sex, mentions of suicide, character death

summary: Every single night before bed, you play your royal husband, Jaehyun, a song on his grandfather's piano as a distraction from the ominous sounds you hear. To the public, you're all smiles, but discreetly, you're a slave to your suspicions. Though it seems the more you pry, the more secrets you start to unravel.

word count: 22.4k

a/n: spooky fic for the spooky season… or at least it was when i first posted it lol. as always, feedback is appreciated!

Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop, you chanted to yourself, running because your life depended on it.

Your feet hurt and you had lost track of how long you had been running for, but you pushed yourself forward even as your energy from the adrenaline started to dwindle.

Never had you needed to fight for your life before. Fight for anything. Your legs burned from ache, begging for a break while your bare feet slapped against wet dirt. Your face was damp with tears and rainwater. But you never stopped. Not even for a second.

Not as long as he was behind you. Even after hours of running, you knew he wouldn’t stop until he had at last caught you. He could run across acres of land and never break a sweat.

Lightning struck and you screamed, only to realize it was the shrouds of darkness looming over you. You were on edge.

“My love,” Jaehyun sang, calling out to you from a distance.

His voice made you shudder, but you bunched your dress into your fists, the white gown difficult to run in. You didn’t look back, though you knew that he wasn’t far.

Pushing Jaehyun’s voice to the back of your head, you tried to find an escape route. The garden had to stretch across at least a thousand acres. There was no end in sight. You were inclined to believe you were running in circles across perfectly manicured grass and stone trails.

Jaehyun had the upper hand. It was his palace, for heaven’s sake. He had grown up wandering around these paths and exploring halls that were carbon copies of each other. You had barely made it out of the palace, clearing corridor after corridor, though unsure if you were making any distance because of how they paralleled.

You found another stone footpath, feeling the ground harden beneath your feet where moonlight shone through the tiniest of puddles. For whatever reason, seeing your scared face in your reflection gave you chills. Your face that was once perfectly made was ruined with streaks of mascara, black.

What should have been the happiest day of your life had quickly turned upside-down.

When you glanced aside, what you saw nearly got another hair-raising scream out of you, but you bit your lip hard enough to make yourself bleed.

Horror was beginning not to explain your feelings as you fought for survival, wide eyes drifting around the pond in a perfect rectangle. There were tombstones surrounding the pond, watered by rain. You could see names etched on them; your parents, Jaehyun’s parents, and some of his servants. Dead fish floated in the water.

“No,” you cried out, kneeling aside your parents’ gravestones. You didn’t care that your dress dirtied. You lost all purpose for it the second you saw him for the monster he had been all along.

From the beginning this had only been a perfectly crafted game where you never had a chance. You were baited like an animal and Jaehyun was somewhere watching you like a hawk in the sky, because little did you know, you would never make it out.

He had made sure of that.

“This is your home now,” Jaehyun exclaimed, but it was all white noise to you. You didn’t even know where he was or how far he stood from you. Your mind was racing but empty all the while.

You knew there had to be a shed somewhere. If you were quick, maybe you could hit him over the head with a trowel or a really heavy pot. If you wanted to make it out alive, you had to escape on your own. You knew there was nobody else alive out here aside from you and Jaehyun.

Not to mention thinking about what Jaehyun would do to you if he caught you made your blood run cold, because you simply didn’t know. He was an enigma to you now. You went from living every little girl’s dreams of becoming a princess to living a never-ending nightmare.

“Darling. There you are,” Jaehyun said, as if he hadn’t already had you trapped.

You screamed, screamed a silent cry, unable to hear his wet footsteps over the sound of your mind racing a thousand thoughts per hour. It was over. You lost. He had caught you.

Jaehyun swept you into his arms and crooned, “Shh, it’s alright. Everything is okay, darling.”

Every exhale was a battle. You heaved, chest undulating, and tried to regain some semblance of composure. Your eyes studied the room and you realized you were no longer in Jaehyun’s boundless garden, but in his chamber. There was no rain pouring on you. Only sweat beading at your skin, cooling at your neck.

“It was just a nightmare,” Jaehyun whispered, voice sweet and tender as it had always been.

You still shuddered, but you were relieved that it was only a dream. You leaned into Jaehyun’s touch, breathing in the crisp air.

You flitted your gaze to the balcony attached to the giant chamber, blocked off by a glass door. The royal blue curtains were drawn, giving you a perfect view of the garden it overlooked. Rain fell brutally and little droplets gathered at the screen.

Nights like this were a recurring series of events ever since you started sharing a bed with Jaehyun. You would wake in the middle of the night, damp with sweat, screaming your lungs off. Jaehyun would hold you and whisper sweet nothings in your ears, trying to calm you down.

If you were being honest, it wasn’t Jaehyun that was giving you nightmares, in spite of the fact that the one key element they all shared was that he would be hunting you down in all of them. It was the dangerous lack of sleep you were getting. Interestingly, the monarchy had owls that kept you up at night, and when you finally fell asleep, bad dreams loomed over you.

For whatever reason, sleep deprivation made you prone to them. You tried to remind yourself Jaehyun was a great guy and your stupid brain playing tricks on you was not a reflection of his character, but the fact that you consistently had more or less the same dream solely about him made you antsy.

Grow up. Dreams don’t mean anything. You sound like a little girl afraid of the monsters under her bed, you hissed to yourself, chastising. The fact that it was so silly was enough to make you promptly dismiss your worries.

For the three months you had been engaged, Jaehyun took the extra time to get to know you. It was strange, because he didn’t need to. Your marriage was a business proposal rather than the kneeling before your lover kind, and both of your parents had influence throughout the country. You had never spoken until then.

In spite of that detail, Jaehyun treated you as if he could see himself truly loving you one day. Maybe because he wanted things to be as non-awkward as possible, given that you would be sharing the same bed at night.

By day, Jaehyun would flaunt you in front of the media and hold you flush against him at royal events as he did throughout your betrothal. The wedding had to have been the most remarkable occasion of them all. It lasted throughout the entire day, hundreds of thousands of people present to celebrate your nuptials.

When you married, you moved into the palace, which was precisely when the nightmares started. Because of those goddamn owls.

Some nights later, you shot up again, having yet another nightmare. Noticing the bedside lamp was switched on, you glanced to your side, observing Jaehyun with a book in hand and spectacles sitting squarely on the bridge of his nose. “Another bad dream?”

You nodded, biting your lip. You felt bad and slightly embarrassed. Never had you and Jaehyun shared a bed until your honeymoon, so his first impression of your sleeping habits were you being prone to crying out in the middle of the night.

Jaehyun, setting his book to the side after marking his place, opened his arms for you. You crawled into them without hesitation. Over time, they had started to feel like home. It took the edge off your homesickness.

This is your home now. You shivered. It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream. It’s just a very bad fucking dream, you comforted yourself.

Jaehyun whispered tenderly, “Tell me what you saw.”

You swallowed and damped your throat. Though you had told him about the owls, you kept to yourself the bit about him chasing you like a serial killer. “It’s a little dark,” you told him in fair warning.

Jaehyun didn’t seem to give a damn. “It’s only a dream. It can’t scare me. Unless a monster is going to hop out of your cute brain and yell, ‘Boo!’”

You giggled. Leave it to Jaehyun to make you laugh when you needed it most. He had come to learn your needs over those three months of bonding.

Jaehyun threw you an expectant look. “Well?”

You hesitated, but ultimately gave in. Jaehyun was your husband now, for fuck’s sake. What couldn’t you tell him? “Well, every night I have the same nightmare about… you. You’re always chasing me throughout the castle. Every time, I get close to escaping, but you catch me in the end. And then I wake up.”

“It’s not very realistic.”

You pulled back, giving him a look. “Hm?”

“I would never chase you,” Jaehyun said. “I will always have you right where I want you.”

Your eyes flickered. It was an unsettling comment, but you tried to let it go. Jaehyun doesn’t have an evil bone in his body, you reminded yourself. He’s harmless.

Jaehyun clambered out of bed, sitting his spectacles on top of his book, and stood on two feet. When you merely watched him with interest, he beckoned you to mirror him. “Come on. I have something to show you.”

Hesitantly you obeyed him, crawling from bed and sliding on your slippers. Following him into the halls, you walked hand in hand with Jaehyun the entire time who had laced his fingers through yours comfortably. The gesture made you smile, no matter how little.

Like in your dreams, the corridors were of length and resembled each other almost precisely. High stone walls stood tall, statues at its sides, and chandeliers glared at you from above your heads. Given it was after nightfall, the halls were dimly lit.

One of the statues you swore you saw move and give you a mean glower. You asked curiously, “Did you ever break anything when you were a child?”

“Not that I remember. No.”

“Huh,” you retorted. “You must have been a wonderful child.”

“I stayed in my room and looked out the window,” Jaehyun muttered under his breath.

Your eyes flickered.

Jaehyun brought you to a room at the very end of the passage but before he drew the doors open, he told you softly, “Close your eyes.”

You rolled your eyes, but did as told, giggling. Jaehyun got a hold of both of your hands and placed them over your face for safe measure. Then, he drew the doors open, pushing you inside.

Jaehyun guided you mysteriously throughout the room and you let him without question. You knew he had switched the lights on, the corners of your vision getting brighter in spite of the dark void, and he stopped you momentarily.

“Now, open.”

You slowly opened your eyes, squinting while you adjusted to the bright lights. Then they focused in front of you, and what you saw made you giddy with excitement.

“Whoa,” you gasped, running a hand over the grand piano. It was royal blue, monarchical patterns thoughtfully designed over the lid.

Jaehyun was sporting the biggest smile you had ever seen. “Do you like it?”

You bobbed your head. During your engagement, you remembered telling Jaehyun, en passant, that you had been enamored with playing pianos since you were little. “You remembered,” you said quietly, touched.

Jaehyun’s dimples showed and it was the cutest thing ever. He spoke softly, “This was my grandfather’s piano. He hated bad weather and played it when it stormed. I know that it’s not the same, but I thought that maybe if you played the piano before bed, it would help with your nightmares.”

“That’s really thoughtful of you, Jaehyun,” you replied, heat spreading through your chest like wildfire. “Do you want me to play you a song?”

“Yes,” Jaehyun said and pulled out a chair.

You sat on the piano bench, getting comfortable and warming up your fingers lest they cramped in the middle of your impromptu performance. For a multigenerational piano, it was still in perfect condition.

“My mother taught me this,” you told him in preparation.

You proceeded to play him a mind-blowing masterpiece, your eyes and hands trained to the keyboard. Jaehyun was dumbfounded that any human being could be so graceful while playing an instrument and kept himself fixed to your supple fingers. He was enamored, knowing then and there that he wanted to hear you play your sweet song forever.

Eyes closed, everything disappeared behind the sound of the keys, and you carried yourself to a world where there was nothing but you and your piano. Where no harm could reach you.

Me and my song. That's how you got through everything. As long as you had a piano, everything would be okay.

When you were done, you glanced up at Jaehyun, studying him for a reaction.

Jaehyun was all smiles. He was endlessly proud of you, clasping his hands together in applause when the performance ended. His heart was asking for an encore, and he knew you most likely wanted one yourself. He could see that you were truly at peace when you played, in a world of your own, at your happiest.

“You’re the most talented player I've ever heard,” Jaehyun whispered sweetly.

Heat filled your cheeks and you hid it with a roll of your eyes. “You’re only saying that because I’m your wife.”

Jaehyun took your hands in his palms again, kissing the back of your palm tenderly. “You are my talented wife, who I love very much.”

Your heart stopped. His wife. Who he loved. He loved you? You expected to be merely something he had to put up with, but Jaehyun had come to genuinely love you. To say nothing of yourself. This boy had swept you off of your feet in no time at all.

“I love you too,” you whispered back, smiling so hard your cheeks hurt. Now that he had done such a thoughtful gesture, you loved him even more.

Jaehyun saw the stars in your eyes and squeezed your hand. “Are you ready to go back to bed?”

“Yes,” you chirped with glee.

Jaehyun hoisted you into his arms bridal style and you squealed in surprise, wreathing your arms around his neck while he carried you back to the bedchamber.

You slept soundly after that. No screaming. No nightmares.

As it turned out, his grandfather’s piano was the perfect countermeasure for your night terrors. You were dumbfounded that you actually managed to sleep through the whole night, well rested for the formal dinners and publicity appearances that came with being royalty.

For each of them, you clung flush to Jaehyun’s side, radiant. You didn’t speak unless spoken to. It was no question why you of all the women from a handpicked list were selected to become his wife. You had been cautiously groomed for the role, the pretty and obedient little thing meant to stand by the prince's side and carry his children. Especially his son.

Maybe it seemed demeaning, though you had no intention of making waves in the monarchy. You kept in step, rather than marched to the beat of your own drum. You were more than content to silently bathe in their luxuries and confide in your husband.

But it did get lonely.

One lazy afternoon, just after lunch, the king approached you and Jaehyun as the two of you were shooting the breeze in The Great Chamber. You noticed his father first and greeted him respectfully, “Good afternoon, Your Majesty.”

Jaehyun opted for a polite bow.

The king motioned his head. “Good afternoon. I am only here to announce your mother-in-law and I’s departure. We will be traveling abroad on business for a couple of weeks. Your mother-in-law is already with an escort waiting outside the exit hall.”

That baffled Jaehyun. “Why the abrupt exit?”

“We have some affairs to attend to that couldn’t wait and we owe the prime minister a favor. We will return as briefly as possible.”

Jaehyun nodded. “Travel safely.”

“Of course. And son, the country is yours in our absence,” said the king. Then, he locked eyes with you. “Yours as well.”

You were stunned for a couple of seconds, but masked it well and replied demurely, “Yes, sir.”

The king bid each of you farewell individually then scurried to the exit hall with his wife to be chauffeured to their private charter.

Jaehyun met your eyes with a mischievous smile and said when his parents were out of earshot, “Appears it’s just the two of us.”

“Mm-hm,” you hummed, amused by the amount of sheer mischief in his stare. “Just me, you, and the hundred other people that live in this palace.”

Jaehyun chuckled, lifted your wrist, and pressed a sweet kiss to the back of your hand. “What if I sent everybody home? You heard my father. I’m in charge.”

“I also very clearly heard him mention that I’m in charge too. And I don’t think that’s a very good idea. Who’s going to make the spoiled prince’s every meal three times a day, everyday?”

“Fair point,” Jaehyun mumbled. “Do you really think that I’m spoiled?”

You replied without skipping a beat, “Rotten.”

“What a shame,” Jaehyun said. “Would it also be a shame if you came upstairs to spoil me some more?”

“Only if you didn’t spoil me back,” you replied tamely, but Jaehyun could see the unbridled lust in your eyes. It never lied to him.

You two scurried through the halls like a pair of hormonal teenagers, staggering towards the elevator with dwindling patience and giggling the entire ride upstairs.

When you came to bed that night after spending an undocumented amount of time playing Jaehyun the piano in what was once his grandfather’s bedchamber, he threw his big arms around your waist and drifted off to the view of your backside.

But when you abruptly woke, he was nowhere to be found.

You sat up in a panic. He’s just using the bathroom. Yeah, that sounds about right, you consoled yourself. The clock stared back at you on the wall, and noting the time, you decided you would wait for him to return.

Jaehyun never returned to his bedroom. You watched hours tick away at their own pace, but there was no sign of him. And in lieu of your husband’s soft snores, you only heard those familiar owls, feet dragging down the hall, and impatient ticking.

Which was completely unnerving.

You didn’t get any sleep that night. Not until Jaehyun at last came back and worriedly asked why you looked as if you had just finished a twelve-hour shift in the dungeon.

Choosing to ignore him, you snarled, “Where were you?”

Jaehyun’s eyes flickered. “Well, I was in the study. I had some late night affairs to attend to.”

“The king and queen are absent. Our royal activities have been suspended. There is nothing you could possibly need to take care of at four in the morning,” you pressed, arms folded.

“Most of our royal activities have been temporarily suspended,” Jaehyun corrected with a swiftness. “Why do you think my father left us in control? The country never sleeps.”

You sulked, especially grumpy from the lack of sleep.

Jaehyun watched you with surprise. Your grouchy, irritable attitude graveled him, because he couldn’t comprehend what he had done that was so wrong. “What’s gotten into you?”

You exhaled loudly. Maybe you were overreacting a little. Jaehyun did make a valid point, after all. Somebody still needed to nurse the country in the king and queen’s absence. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m being unreasonable,” you replied, unable to justify your cynicism.

Not to mention you couldn’t think of a single other thing that Jaehyun could have been doing so early in the morning. It was a completely plausible excuse, whether you believed it or not. And it wasn’t as if Jaehyun had ever given you a reason to doubt him.

But the feet dragging through the halls was the second most eerie sound you had ever heard, just after those evil owls that reminded you too much of gargoyles. You chalked it up to some staff members keeping guard on a late shift and gave it up.

Jaehyun pried your stubborn hand away from your crossed arms and you let him. His touch was exactly what you needed to soothe your unease. “You look tired,” he commented. “Have you been sleeping?”

“No, I was waiting for you to come back,” you grumbled gruffly and stifled a yawn out of habit. It was unladylike, they said.

Jaehyun chuckled in amusement, but scolded, “You shouldn’t wait up for me. I’m a busy man and a princess needs her beauty sleep.”

“Maybe I feel safe when you’re next to me,” you mumbled under your breath, eyes fixed to his thumb rubbing circles at your wrist.

“I’m never far from you, baby,” Jaehyun reassured you gently. “I’m always two steps behind you.”

“Behind me or ahead of me?”

“I’m omnipresent,” Jaehyun whispered and kissed your cheek sweetly. “You can play the piano. I can sing. Would you like for me to sing you a song?”

“Yes,” you replied without stopping to mull it over.

Jaehyun told you to lie back down and you obeyed without a second thought, slipping under the blankets. You felt even warmer when he snaked his arms back around you and started to croon softly in your ears, voice tickling your neck and ultimately lulling you back to slumber.

Whether or not he got back up after that was entirely unbeknownst to you.

You slept so peacefully in Jaehyun’s embrace that you didn’t even rouse until afternoon, well after Jaehyun had slipped from bed and told you good morning, whispering something in your ear about how he had duties to attend to.

You, on the other hand, were cleared of any scheduling. Which gave you ample time to explore the gardens.

Now sporting a pretty knee-length dress, you had some tea and toast as a makeshift breakfast and scuttled outside in quick, short strides. The grandiose garden was easily your favorite spot in the whole palace. You could get lost in its labyrinth of superbly pruned shrubs and terraces decked in flower petals.

For lack of a better word, it was a humbling experience. It made you feel small to be isolated in such a huge garden. You may have been a princess, next in succession to the queen’s throne, but you were also just some girl in a world larger than you would ever know.

You could prance around and gawk at pretty flowers day in and day out. It didn’t take much to keep you happy. But you rather liked company.

When you noticed one of the gardeners you recognized tending to some blossoms, you chirped, “Hi, Giselle.”

Giselle greeted you very respectfully, curtsying at your presence. “Greetings, Your Royal Highness.”

“Oh, please,” you said, almost rolling your eyes. “You can call me by my name.”

“The king and queen wouldn’t approve of the informalities, ma’am.”

You didn’t really give a damn and waved her off, replying nonchalantly, “While that is true, the king and queen are not here, and it’s only the two of us in this garden. When we are alone, you may call me by my name and I will call you by yours.”

“If you insist,” Giselle replied, followed by your name.

You smiled triumphantly.

From your previous encounters and run-ins, you had already gathered that Giselle unfortunately wasn’t very much of a talker, though you couldn’t fault her. She did what she was told and minded the business that paid her. Literally. It would do her no good to kindle conflict in the monarchy.

“These flowers are pretty,” you remarked absentmindedly.

Giselle hummed. “They’re azaleas.”

“Elegance, temperance, and death,” you said knowledgeably, staring from the terrace.

Which surprised Giselle. “Are you into flower symbolism?”

You shrugged. “I know a thing or two.”

“Hm.”

You pointed to some other flowers. They were very recognizable to you at this point. “Those are white roses. Purity, innocence, loyalty, and fresh beginnings. It’s no secret why they were scattered all over my wedding.”

“Secrecy and silence,” Giselle added offhandedly.

For a couple of seconds, that, metaphorically speaking, threw you off balance. “That too,” you said quietly.

Giselle said nothing.

You considered making peace with the silence, but with your thoughts at daggers drawn with one another, you quickly accepted that wouldn’t be possible. Secrecy and silence. There was no doubt it suited the monarchs aptly. Sometimes you even wondered what you knew about Jaehyun, because he was ghastly private.

Maybe you weren’t the closest of married couples, but you knew enough. Jaehyun liked music and singing. He was introverted and quite shy, which was laughable when considering that he was soon to become king. He was calm and sensitive. Sensual, but reticent.

Jaehyun already made clear he loved you. Maybe with time, he would show you his heart.

Then, you had another thought. Secret, but not so much silent. “Hey, Giselle,” you called out. “Do you ever hear strange noises in the palace?”

“I don’t know what you mean. Everything is normal in the royal palace.”

You frowned. It hit you that you never asked Jaehyun if they bothered him. It was possible that growing up in the castle had numbed him. “I hear owls at night.”

“That is because there are owls and they are nocturnal. We haven’t tried to get rid of them because they are helpful with the garden,” was all Giselle said.

“Well, sure,” you mumbled, because it was an entirely logical explanation. “But what about the noises I hear in the hallway?”

“Some employees take late shifts to keep guard of the palace. They are merely monitoring the halls.”

That was what you told yourself, because it was completely reasonable. But something about this place gave you a bad gut feeling and left a bitter taste in your mouth. You couldn’t explain it, because it was just a hunch.

“In all due respect, what you hear is elementary. Word of advice? Believe what I tell you now or get two hours of sleep at night later.”

You recoiled in surprise. “Excuse me?”

Giselle turned around, glanced around for any watchful eyes, and made eye contact with you. She stepped onto the terrace and whispered, “I hear scratches in the walls and cries in the floorboards. You can rationalize footsteps in the hallway, but whimpers in the chamber? Not so easy. Convince yourself that it’s nothing while you still can.”

“If I have to convince myself that it’s nothing then that means there’s something,” you shot back, looking her plain in the eye. Which also meant there was something she wasn’t telling you. “What are you hiding?”

Giselle wavered, hesitant. She wore it on her face. Her body language was screaming at you and you desperately wanted to know what it was saying. “You’re royalty,” she finally said after a moment. “You have lived lavishly your whole life without ever needing to worry about a thing. Maybe I envy what you have, but I’m not telling you this from a black heart when I say my woes are not yours.”

You didn’t bristle, but softened. She was opening up to you, and you knew there was more to this tangent of hers.

“I come from a poor background and work here to provide for my household,” she said tamely, harboring no resentment whatsoever. She wasn’t the least bit vindictive. “Because of that, I can’t afford to poke my nose where it doesn’t belong. Even if it keeps me up at night.”

“The noises,” you said. “They keep you up at night?”

“Because of that piano,” Giselle grumbled under her breath.

“What?”

Giselle pivoted and walked back to the plants, dismissing your concern. “I’ve already said too much. Please, mention this to nobody. But if you must, leave my name out.”

You nodded. “Off the record.”

Giselle smiled thinly.

Backpedaling, you pointed to another shrubbery of flowers. “What are those?”

“Hydrangeas. They might seem high maintenance, but they are fairly easy to take care of. The queen loves them, so I give them some extra attention,” Giselle told you while hoisting a watering pot.

You hummed. “Blue flowers.”

“Desire, love, and infinity,” Giselle sighed poignantly.

For half an hour, you volunteered to help Giselle with her gardening duties before she shooed you away, claiming you had done enough of her responsibilities. You wandered in the garden still, lingering, just outside of Jaehyun’s bedchamber window.

When you glanced up, you saw him watching you fondly through the balcony screen, and waved him down with a beaming smile.

Jaehyun was downstairs in a flash, sporting chinos and a casual blazer. He looked very handsome, which was nothing new for him. Plus with his pretty brown eyes and adorable dimples that were both impossible to not get lost in, you had to will yourself not to swoon.

“Hi,” you greeted.

“Hi,” Jaehyun replied, mirroring you. Except he leaned in to snake his arms just below your ribs and kissed the corner of your mouth.

You smiled at his affections, though they had disarmed you a long time ago. His ability to unsettle you when he was gone but soothe you when he touched you was to be studied. “How has your day been so far?”

Jaehyun groaned. “Next subject.”

That got a chuckle out of you. Being the ruler of a country was no easy feat, but if there was anybody fitted for the role, it was Jaehyun. “Hopefully your parents haven’t left you with too much trouble.”

Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. “I want to relax. You look like you’re having fun.”

“Something like that.”

You decided against confiding in him about the reality of your day thus far. Not because you didn’t trust him, but because you weren’t sure of anything yourself. Giselle had mentioned something about the piano he had gifted you. Jaehyun might have been your best bet at knowing what she meant, but you needed to do a little more investigating before you got him involved.

Now that you had another person’s opinion, you could say with total confidence that you weren’t crazy. There was something spooky going on in the monarchy and you wanted to know what.

For now, you would shove the thought to a corner in the back of your mind. Days at the palace were full of whimsical fun. The nights were terrifying.

Speaking of whimsical fun, Jaehyun spoke up and asked, “Do you want to ride the ferry with me?”

That caught your attention. “Ferry?”

“Yeah. There’s a huge lake down this path and we have a mini ferry that travels from one end to the other. You interested?”

“Sign me up,” you exclaimed enthusiastically.

Getting a hold of your hand, Jaehyun walked you through the courtyard to the wooden dock at the top of the lake. Unsurprisingly, it had a decorated roofed patio with a lounging nook to wait for the vessel to return.

Fortunately for you, it was already waiting at the dock, unoccupied save for the captain Jaehyun had called up during your relaxed walk to the boating site.

Jaehyun helped you aboard, having done this more times than he cared to admit. When you were safely secured on the tiny ferry, you thanked him for being a gentleman and watched him climb aboard himself.

The captain exited the wheelhouse. “Once to and from, Your Royal Highness?”

“Make it twice. We have time to waste,” said Jaehyun, looking at you with all the affections a man could possess.

Shortly afterwards, you started moving. You stood beside Jaehyun and gripped the railing, watching the water splash beneath the boat. This place was beautiful, no doubt. Your choice to get married in the garden was unregretted.

Eerily beautiful, you thought. Though you loved the garden, there were a couple of places you avoided. Mainly the ones that made appearances in your nightmares, like the shed.

The silence was comfortable, both you and Jaehyun soaking in the view, but you broke it to say, “You’re an only child.”

“I guess you could say that.”

You gave him a look. “What do you mean?”

Jaehyun shook his head, dismissive. “Nothing. Keep talking.”

You were curious, wanting to know all there was on this boy, but let it go for his sake. “Doesn’t it get lonely - alone in this big palace? Your parents are busy nurturing the country like it’s their own child.”

Jaehyun didn’t show a single fucking emotion on his face, though that was far from shocking by now. When it was time to get personal, he became the iciest man you knew. His cold indifference somehow burned you.

You grimaced when you saw his face. “Sorry if I crossed a line.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jaehyun replied, giving you a reassuring kiss to the cheek. “I was lonely before I met you. No siblings. Few people I could trust. When I was young, I learned rather quickly that life is a game of survival. You can never be too sure who’s friend or foe.”

You listened attentively, nestling closer to his chest.

“I was taught to be my own guard, in a way. And there’s nobody to blame but myself for chasing away everybody who tries to get close. But then you came,” Jaehyun said, smiling at you adoringly. “And there was an instant connection. I think I saw pieces of myself inside of you.”

“You did?”

Jaehyun bobbed his head. “Yeah. Some people see this meek, demure princess, but I see the woman that almost cooked my ass when I wasn’t tucked into bed with her,” he joked, getting a laugh out of you.

You giggled.

Jaehyun was smiling like an idiot. It was cute and wholesome. “On a serious note, I see somebody strong and assertive. Somebody who’s not afraid to fight for what they want, even if it means going through hell and back. Somebody unbroken and undeterred.”

“Mm-hm. And you liked that,” you hummed, giving him a hooded stare.

“You have no idea,” Jaehyun purred before leaning in to smash his lips against yours.

You giggled into his mouth. Your heart skipped a beat or two when Jaehyun kissed you, tempted to leap into the palm of his hands where she belonged. The Jaehyun you had come to know was a romantic and there was nothing more romantic than making out with your lover on a beautiful ferry ride.

Except for making love with your lover below a beautiful ferry ride.

“Below deck,” Jaehyun murmured in your ear, delicately slipping his hands from your waist to lace his fingers through yours. You didn’t hesitate to follow him through the little hall, coming out in a bedroom at its very end.

You hardly even got to stand long enough to take note of your surroundings before Jaehyun hoisted you up and threw you against the silk sheets. You cried out in shock. Jaehyun had taken you more times than you bothered to count, but you were in awe at how rough the prince got when it came to sex.

When Jaehyun crept over you, staring at you with a blend of awe and unbridled lust in those pretty brown eyes of his, you combed your fingers through his dark hair and drew his mouth to yours again.

You could hear your heart thudding in your ears as you kissed him slowly. Your lips only knew each other and you could taste the ecstasy on the tip of your tongue. To say nothing of the touches. While you were fisting his hair, Jaehyun stripped you naked, tossing your dress and groping your perfect breasts.

Jaehyun was warm to the touch, but his fingers never failed to make you shiver. “I love the way your lips feel,” you confessed when he separated from your mouth.

Only to kiss his way down your stomach, lips gentle and tender. Jaehyun cocked you a glance and grinned. “And what about my dick?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions. I love your dick, duh, but that’s a different conversation deserving of its own speech. Particularly a long-winded one with a very heartfelt peroration at the climax.”

Jaehyun’s head bobbed as he snickered at the thought, before teasing, “Well, we have the Great Chamber for that when you’re ready. Feel free.”

Your laughter rang out in the little bedroom. Then, Jaehyun switched on a dime, dragging your legs towards the edge of the bed before spreading them apart like jelly and burying his face between your thighs.

Every time Jaehyun took you to bed, you remembered the first night of your honeymoon. When he took you to a cabin in the woods in April’s spring, flipped you over, and made you cry for all the forest to hear. By day, you watched nature and waltzed to his many vinyls, and by night, you made love for hours.

And to think that was only a month ago. You felt as if you’d loved Jaehyun for years.

Jaehyun ate you out until you came undone at the mercy of his brutal tongue, clamping his palms at your thighs while you convulsed and shuddered, and undulated. Fuck, he knew your body too well. You arched off the bed one final time then slumped down, defeated.

You gawked in disbelief while he watched you scramble for breath with a cocked brow. Your body’s capacity for pleasure knew no bounds when Jaehyun was the one pleasing you. “Ready to take my cock?” he asked, excitement nipping sharply in his chest at the thought of ruining you.

You nodded your head almost instantly. Your lack of patience was written all over you and you wanted him. Right now.

Jaehyun’s hands were quick to reach for his cock, steering himself skillfully to bury himself inside of your pussy. A wet sound filled the air when he sank inside and you instantly moaned his name as though it was an instinct.

You drove Jaehyun mad when you called out his name like that; with pining and desperation, and everything in between. Heaven had brought you to him and fate would keep you by his side until the very end.

“Jay,” came your airy voice. Just being filled with your husband’s cock made you feel like you were elevating, ascending into the air.

Your sounds were euphoric and drove Jaehyun to the very brink of madness, and with the last of his restraint gone, he was impelled to move at long last, thrusting into you at a leisurely yet hard pace. He lowered his face to meet yours, lips locked in a wet smack. You were skin to skin, your stiff nipples pressed against his bare chest.

Every moment was as special as the first. As a woman groomed to become a figure of importance, you were raised to remain chaste until marriage. And the day you exchanged vows with Jaehyun, he made your whole body shudder.

“God is a woman,” Jaehyun rasped, heart racing so quickly it might have burst. You were warm all over and his hands roamed every nook of your body, every curve.

Even though you wanted to laugh, all that came from your mouth was a breathless moan. Moments like these where you knew nothing but Jaehyun, scooped into his strong arms, you couldn’t help but realize how lucky you were. Not a second went by where you took him for granted.

Things could’ve been different. Jaehyun could have been an insufferable spoiled prick that acted entitled to his wife, but he was far from the visions of him you saw in your nightmares. You were grateful to be married to a man that both respected you and valued your happiness.

You locked your legs around him, pulling him into you deeper, and kissed him until the two of you were gasping for air. “You get me so wet, Jay,” you whispered, tangling your fingers through his head.

At those words, Jaehyun released an animalistic growl, so aroused you thought he might break. His thoughts revolved solely around you. How much like poison you were. How outrageously perfect you were. Head to toe.

You beamed with pride, pleased to have such a dangerous effect on your husband. The two of you meeting each other was mutually assured destruction. Nothing had been the same since Jaehyun laid eyes on you. When he saw you for the first time, he knew that he had to have you.

While your body rocked from the sheer force of Jaehyun’s thrusts, the boat gently thrashed in the water. Your breasts bounced and the sight had made Jaehyun lose what was left of his mind. One day, in the none too distant future, they would be swollen with milk and Jaehyun imagined you carrying his children.

That thought alone could have finished him. He thought of it every time he fucked you full of cum, pumping his load inside of you rough and deep, just the way you begged for him to. Watching your belly swell with your shared child would do unspeakable things to Jaehyun’s psyche.

Part of you drowned out the sounds of the water splattering against the boat in favor of listening to Jaehyun’s relentless groans. Your husband always had a flair for the romantic. Hopelessly, he used to think, until he met you.

Staring up at Jaehyun, you were bewitched by the gentle gracefulness of his features, especially as they tensed with unbridled pleasure. “Can I tell you something?” you asked.

Jaehyun nodded his head. “Anything,” he whispered.

“You smell so good.”

Jaehyun’s laughter rang out in your ears. The sight and sound brought a smile to your face. You didn’t know anyone with a more perfect laugh and you would give anything to see it again. “That’s so random.”

“But true,” you added, inhaling his scent the closer he got to your naked chest. There was hardly any space between you two at all.

Jaehyun was all smiling from ear to ear. “Can I tell you something?”

“Always.”

Jaehyun leaned into your ear, deepening his voice to a breathtaking whisper, “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

Your heart stopped. There was something about his voice tickling your earlobe that made you gush and tighten around his cock. After searching for the ability to speak, you replied, “Funny. I feel the same way about you.”

Jaehyun chuckled deeply and you swore you became lightheaded. “Yeah?”

“Can I tell you one more thing?”

“Go for it.”

“I’m about to cum,” you told him, climax threatening to rip you apart.

“I’m gonna make you cum,” Jaehyun said, voice dark with determination. You gasped when his fingers sank to your clit and his thumb teased your bundle of nerves.

Heat swallowed you whole. You couldn’t process all of the sensations that your body was experiencing all at once. A scream came out of your mouth and Jaehyun stifled them with his palm as you trembled with orgasm, cursing the stars.

Jaehyun didn’t stop fucking until he was certain that you couldn’t take anymore. You went round after round, fisting the sticky sheets, grateful that he chose to take two trips across the lake. You had time to kill.

Your body was worn and utterly spent when Jaehyun was finished with you. You fell slack against the sheets, unable to move your stiff limbs. Given that Jaehyun was left with more than a handful of responsibilities, it should’ve come to you as no shock that he took his stress out on you.

And you were more than eager to let him. When Jaehyun made love to you, the power he wielded over you was endless. Your body was seized by him and your heart was his on a platter.

“I love you,” Jaehyun whispered deeply in your ear. It was enough to drive any woman mad. You were too breathless to say anything back, chest undulating.

For a couple of moments neither of you could hardly move and you stayed nestled into each other’s side till you regained the strength to hunt for your tossed clothes. Flush against Jaehyun’s skin, the sexual tension still lingered, and he was overwhelmingly aware of how naked you were.

After quickly redressing yourselves, you just sat on the bed for a little longer, feeling the boat still sway and knowing you weren’t back home. Jaehyun’s hand was flat against your backside, never letting you forget that he was at your side.

You tried to fend off some wandering thoughts, but your curiosity got the better of you and you surrendered to your need to know. “Jaehyun, I have something to tell you.”

Your tone was not lost on him. “It sounds serious.”

“Yeah, kind of,” you replied, swallowing the taste in your throat that made you nauseous. “It’s about my dreams. It’s not just the owl noises. I think there’s something else going on.”

Jaehyun’s brows were furrowed. “Like what?”

There was a lump in your throat. After you confided in him about your doubts and suspicions, there was no going back. “Like the piano,” you said, unsure of yourself.

Jaehyun’s demeanor shifted suddenly, aggressively. He went from cool and collected to stern on a dime, chastising, “Stop looking.”

His tone affronted you. “Excuse me?”

“It’s for your own safety. You need not to worry your pretty little head.”

Narrowing your eyes, you pressed, “So there is something going on that you’re not telling me.”

Jaehyun exhaled a heavy breath, smoothing a hand through his hair. “Promise me you’ll stop prying. This is serious. I will tell you everything that you need to know when it’s time.”

“Jaehyun, you know I can’t promise that,” you whispered.

“Please,” Jaehyun said, eyes glistening.

God, he was begging you? It had to have been serious. You couldn’t fathom him pleading for you not to investigate otherwise. But rather than discourage you, it only intensified your will to get to the bottom of the matter.

Massaging your temple, you sighed, “Okay. Pinky promise.”

You giggled when Jaehyun interlocked his pinky finger with yours, but you weren’t certain how long you would be capable of keeping that promise.

Soon after your confession, the captain signaled that the boat had returned to the dock. Jaehyun led you back through the narrow hallway with your hand in his, as if nothing had happened.

The sex. The little divulgence that followed. He’s way too naturally gifted at slipping back into this royal character, you realized. In a way, you already knew that. Jaehyun could fuck the daylights out of you then smile and wave at the media as if he was their innocent successor to the throne.

Though this was different. Jaehyun obviously had no intention of letting you know exactly what he was hiding any time soon. And if he thought you would just sit around and wait for answers, he had severely underestimated you just like every other man in this country.

Something unforgivably dark and sinister was happening. That was undeniable. You just needed to find out what.

Hours came and went, as did people. Jaehyun was right, you supposed. The country never slept. The palace alone was bustling with life at all times.

Which made you think. If both you and Giselle were apprehensive of the obvious skeletons the monarchy had in its closet, there was no way you were alone. Somebody else had to know something. Somebody with just as much to lose.

You just had to play your cards right. Giselle didn’t lie when she said that she had a lot more at stake than you. Even if the royal family abandoned you for whatever reason, you had the safety net of your own wealthy family to fall back on. Not everybody was as fortunate.

When the sun set below the horizon, Jaehyun accompanied you to his grandfather’s bedchamber, though only because you didn’t want him to grow suspicious. The piano was the only way to bulldoze your ceaseless thoughts. You were lost in your own head.

“I love you, Jaehyun,” you told him out of nowhere.

Jaehyun looked pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t often you confessed your affections. “Where’s this coming from?”

Your mind wandered back to earlier. Though you weren’t happy about him brushing off your concerns, your heart couldn’t deny the way it thumped for him. “I never said it back. And you didn’t make me.”

“Because I already know.”

You blew out a breath. Your heart told you not to risk losing his trust, but your mind was screaming that he was keeping something from you. Days ago, you would’ve been more than content with submissively obeying your husband’s commands.

But peace had never been an option.

It wasn’t long before you crept into bed with each other. You slept peacefully and uninterrupted by any nightmares. Again.

Breakfast was spent together as always. Now that his parents had left the two of you in charge, it was often the only time you had available in the mornings to share.

Any other morning, you would complain, but you were waiting with bated breath for the opportunity to get away and sneak around like a thief in the night. You weren’t keen on lying to Jaehyun, but he would just have to understand the rationale. You couldn’t keep living antsily.

You spread some butter on your toast and asked, “Would you like to visit the markets with me this afternoon?”

Jaehyun frowned. Had he not been so busy, he would’ve done whatever you wanted. You wondered why your schedule was so clear, because when Jaehyun was preoccupied, half the time so were you. “I would love to, but the committee needs my opinion on some political stuff.”

Your tone was disappointed, “Political stuff?”

Jaehyun nodded. He seemed to have fallen for it somehow. “I won’t bore you with the details.”

“Well, I won’t keep you, then,” you said, taking a sip of steaming hot coffee. Jaehyun had made it for you just the way he knew that you liked it.

“Are you trying to get rid of me? I’m not expected to be present for another fifteen minutes.” Jaehyun’s tone was light, but the accusation made your heart beat faster.

Donning your most innocent voice, you assured him, “Of course not. I just know how much you like to be punctual.”

“That is true,” Jaehyun muttered.

Ironically, the hours seemed to drag on, because you couldn’t wait for Jaehyun to leave for once. The second he was finally far out of your vicinity you discarded your leftovers and prepared yourself for the grueling task ahead of you.

Only when you emerged from the dining hall and set out on your little exploit did it occur to you that you didn’t have even the slightest clue who to ask. A couple of servants had been around quite longer than others, yet they were dreadfully tight-lipped. But for good reason.

Bumping into a younger one, you exclaimed, “Oh, good heavens! Pardon me, Mr. Kim.”

Jungwoo bowed gracefully and replied, “No, I apologize, Your Highness. I’ll pay closer attention.”

“It’s fine. I’ve been out of it since I got out of bed with Jaehyun,” you confessed, flashing a courteous smile.

To your surprise, Jungwoo threw you a baffled glance. “You share a bed with the prince?”

“Yes, he is my husband. Is that odd?”

“I’m surprised. It goes against tradition. The king and queen have always had separate bedrooms,” Jungwoo told you, scratching the back of his neck.

That was news. Though given how secretive these people were, everything was news to you. “I didn’t know that.”

Jungwoo rifled through his pockets for a spare key, pressing it into a lock on a nearby door as he rambled, “I wouldn’t either, but my dad worked here. And my granddad. With their debts, they passed down useless knowledge.”

Your interest was quickly piqued. Maybe you didn’t need to take your chances with an older worker after all. Jungwoo, way more affable and approachable, bore the knowledge of generations. “No knowledge is useless.”

“Yeah, maybe, but it’s not exactly power,” Jungwoo said, grabbing some items out of a utility closet.

“What do you mean?”

You watched Jungwoo shut the door and promptly lock it behind himself. “There are some things it’s better you don’t know, ma’am.”

“I’m sick of other people telling me what’s best for me,” you grumbled irritably. “I already know about the piano. Well, kind of.”

Jungwoo’s entire attitude flipped on a dime. Glancing across the hallway twice as if he was preparing to cross a road, he dropped his items on a cart and spoke softly, “Follow me.”

Obviously, you were confused, but you didn’t dare disobey. This might’ve been your only chance at getting closer to the truth.

Jungwoo led you to a door hidden behind the stairway with a big sign warding off intruders, though it was locked, as to be expected. This family apparently couldn’t afford to take any chances. With what, you had no clue.

Strangely enough, Jungwoo had a key and wheeled his cart inside of the room after it clicked open. You curiously trailed behind him once he locked it behind you, wanting to know all there was to learn about this place.

There was a chain to your right and Jungwoo tugged on it, watching the lights barely flicker on. It was dim and empty, and though it was a test of your willpower, you fought off your nerves and remained unbroken.

Narrowing into a hallway, the entrance seemed to go on for a hundred miles and a half. Your footsteps bounced off every wall and the sound made you nervous. Of course, Jungwoo would never in his life knowingly lead you astray and you chose to have faith in the belief that he’d never bring you straight to danger.

But it made you wonder. If you recalled correctly, Giselle mentioned something about scratching in the walls. Your understanding of architecture was limited, but this place had to be built in between other parts of the castle.

Weird, you whispered to yourself, rubbing your arms. It seemed that the deeper you went down this hallway, the colder the air got.

“Watch your step. It’s creaky,” Jungwoo warned, leaving his cart in the hall. You glanced around him to see what he was talking about and that was when you noticed another set of stairs.

You shook your head and cursed, “Pardon my language, but Jesus Christ - how deep does this shit go?”

Jungwoo chuckled. “Too deep, ma’am.”

You had no strength to tell him to drop the titles. This was a few conversations far from your first encounter with Jungwoo and he respectfully declined each of your suggestions for him to call you by your name.

The floorboards did indeed creak as you stepped down them and the sound couldn’t have been any more unnerving. You appreciated Jungwoo dutifully walking in front of you as if he was defending you with his life. Not that there was anything down here to jump out and get you.

You hoped.

Whatever disaster of a room that you just walked inside of was far from what you expected this staircase to lead to, though you weren’t too sure. At the end of the seemingly never-ending hallway was nothing but a pile of junk. If you were being frank, it looked like a bunch of hungry wild animals had a field day. Things had been tossed. Almost as if a fight of some kind had unraveled here.

It was a hot mess. The place looked a solid minute away from crumbling in on itself, and that was you being generous. Your arm hairs were standing at attention now. You took one good look at the barrels just shy of you, noted the temperature, and pieced together why.

“It’s… a cellar,” you said, noticeably disappointed.

“It was a cellar,” Jungwoo told you, glancing around and wrinkling his nose. “This room hasn’t been used for at least a decade.”

Voice dripping with sarcasm, you deadpanned, “You don’t say.”

“Oh, I say.”

Your lips parted and the room echoed with your laughter. You were very grateful that Jungwoo made you laugh, because it helped you forget how anxious everything about your surroundings made you. “Why?”

Jungwoo outwardly processed every emotion and confusion was the most expressive of the plenty. “Pardon?”

“Why did you bring me here?”

Jungwoo stepped forward, inspecting the walls as if he was checking for damages. And there were many. “Because I have something to tell you that I can tell nobody,” Jungwoo said, his usually chipper tone borderline stern. “But first I need you to tell me what you know.”

Those weren’t exactly inviting words, but it was Jungwoo. You could trust him. Or maybe you wanted to, at least, but you couldn’t even trust Jaehyun. You confessed, “Assuming you mean the piano, it’s nothing much. But I know it’s connected. To the sounds I hear at night, I mean.”

“Oh, the walking. And the whispers,” Jungwoo said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

You shook your head in disappointment. You weren’t fucking crazy and Jaehyun’s family wasn’t going to trick you into thinking that you were. “I knew I wasn’t the only one.”

Jungwoo’s tone was only slightly accusatory, “Jaehyun doesn’t know that you’re investigating.”

You frowned. He was a little too good at this. “You didn’t phrase that like a question.”

“There’s no way that he would let you get this close.”

“It’s been justified,” you huffed, irritated. All this secrecy and suspense was killing you. You just wanted to get to the heart of… whatever.

Skeptical, Jungwoo’s head was tilted. His loyalty was in you, but also the heir. “Has it?”

You donned your most assertive voice and reasoned, “Jaehyun is obviously keeping something from me. Things that keep me up at night for hours. I refuse to continue my life in such a manner. It’s an eye for an eye.”

Jungwoo listened to your rant and agreed that your actions were justified. Thus he would be keeping this between the two of you. With a nod, Jungwoo replied, “Okay, I understand.”

You nodded. “Good.”

“But I also understand the prince.”

Your eyes darted to Jungwoo.

Before you could part your lips to speak, Jungwoo added, “Because once you know the truth, it spreads and festers like a wildfire. If you let it, it can consume you. That’s why I hate that you know this.”

“I don’t know anything,” you grumbled.

“Jaehyun’s grandfather used to own that piano in his bedchamber,” Jungwoo started, passing down what only moments ago he thought was useless info.

“Yes, I know. Jaehyun told me.”

“Yeah, well, his grandfather was extremely territorial with the piano,” Jungwoo said hesitantly. “If there was a problem, he cleaned it himself. Mended it himself.”

You were yet to understand what that had to do with anything. “Sounds like he just didn’t want anybody touching his stuff.”

“That’s what my dad thought, but apparently anybody who touched it either died mysteriously or disappeared without a trace soon after.”

Your expression shifted from confused to painfully perplexed. “That’s foolish.”

“I told you that my father worked here. He thought it was rubbish. Then, one day after leaving to clean that very bedchamber, he never came back home,” Jungwoo said, willing himself to keep it together. After so many years, grief was a nonfactor. Despair was channeled into anger.

“Jungwoo…,” you trailed, choosing your words carefully. You knew what it was like to lose somebody. “Are you sure?”

Jungwoo’s eyes were sharper than you had ever seen them. You never knew such an easy-going guy was harboring so much pain. “I’ve been told that because I’m grieving a loss, I’ll believe anything for closure. I don’t agree. There’s something fishy going on and unlike the others, I’m not afraid to admit it to myself.”

“This is a lot,” you told him.

Jungwoo nodded, wholly aware. “True, but it doesn’t stop there. Did you know that Jaehyun had an older brother?”

Your shoulders stiffened, because you recalled mentioning that Jaehyun was an only child yesterday, and he became deflective. “No, I didn’t.”

“Yeah, four years older. Apparently, he died after falling out of a window.”

You grimaced. “He commited suicide?”

“So the story goes,” Jungwoo answered, but his tone said loud and clear that he didn’t buy it for one goddamn minute. “And get this - he fell from the window of his grandfather’s bedchamber.”

Scratching the back of your head, you asked skeptically, “How come the public didn’t know about the first-born son?”

Jungwoo snorted. “I had a feeling that you would ask. The royal family waits five years before announcing the birth of their children. Isn’t that convenient?”

“Almost too convenient,” you mumbled under your breath. If Jaehyun’s older brother died just shy of five years old, that would’ve simplified the process of covering up his death.

Jungwoo glanced over at you, aching. And maybe a little desperate. “Do you believe me?”

A tiny sigh escaped your mouth and you planted your palm on your forehead, overwhelmed by the load of information that was just dumped on you and unsure what to do with its weight. “If what you’re saying is true, this is dangerous,” you replied levelly.

Jungwoo huffed, “You’re telling me.”

“But Jaehyun and I have touched the piano on several occasions. I play it every night just so that I don’t have to hear those godawful noises,” you added, hesitating. “Shouldn’t I be dying?”

Jungwoo fell silent for a sudden, mulling something over. Then, he said quietly, “There is another possibility...”

“What?”

“Perpetuity,” was Jungwoo’s response, voice quieting even though only you were there to hear him. “This one I’m not so sure of. The rumor is that if you touch the piano, you meet one of two fates. Death at your hand, or being condemned to your worst nightmare. It sounds like bullshit.”

His confidence seemed to waver, but you were interested. You were driven by a determination to discover all there was to know about this godforsaken place. “How exactly is one condemned to their own nightmare?”

“Your deepest fear will become your ultimate fate,” Jungwoo explained, wrapping his arms around his torso. “Your worst nightmare will come to life. And you’ll live it everyday until you die.”

You devolved into nipping cold shudders. And it had little to nothing to do with the basically subzero temperature of the room that you occupied. Of course, Jungwoo didn’t mean literal nightmares, but it didn’t help that not too long ago you were being haunted by bad dreams.

Your worst fear was living the same day for the rest of your life. Adventure was your natural instinct and curiosity was your vice. It’s what you stood for and a part of yourself that you refused to negotiate. You could’ve had every dollar that the world had to offer, but you would never gamble away your freedom.

Thankfully, this life gave you more than enough. So what you were expected to be beautiful and ladylike when people had their eyes fixed to you. Did it matter? That didn’t change that when there was nobody there to judge you, you were liberated.

Because it had always been that way, ever since you were a kid. You knew that to some people your existence served one purpose. And you didn’t care. You got to be yourself in the solace of this gigantic palace.

At least for now. Freedom came with a sacrifice; your own sanity and peace of mind. And truth be told, you weren’t sure if it was a fair trade.

“I’ve been having these dreams,” you started, swallowing.

“What kind of dreams?”

“Bad ones,” you confessed, wanting to curl into yourself. Those dreams put the fear of god into you. “When the noises weren’t keeping me awake, these nightmares would take their turn. Jaehyun hunted me down in all of them. And I would wake up after he catches me.”

Jungwoo noticed that your voice was a little shaky and offered you a compassionate hand squeeze, saying, “It’s okay. They’re not real. Jaehyun wouldn’t hurt you.”

“I know, but…,” you trailed. “I had them repeatedly. Same dream, different night. The only other difference was that they would happen in another place. But they stopped after Jaehyun started taking me to play the piano before bed.”

Jungwoo stiffened. “That’s… convenient.” Like a lot of things here.

“I know,” you agreed, shaking your head. Just the thought of Jaehyun was making you tremble with anger. You knew he was secretive, but it felt like he was borderline lying to you.

Then again, Jaehyun didn’t deny that there was something that he was keeping from you. Instead of telling you cheap excuses of consolations, he admitted that there was something grave enough he couldn’t even confide in you about it. And you didn’t know if that was worse.

Things were beginning to appear increasingly more eerie. “Do you want to know why I took you down here?” Jungwoo asked quietly.

Bobbing your head, you shifted to give Jungwoo your undivided attention. Something about the vibes of this room put you off. You didn’t like it. You could sense that something heinous had occurred maybe in the very spot that you stood.

“The prince’s grandfather spent a lot of time down here.”

“Really?”

Jungwoo nodded. “Apparently, he flipped out one day and trashed the whole place. It happened a few days before he passed, so the story goes. Then, they relocated the cellar and closed this room off.”

That explains the mess, you thought to yourself. But not much else. “Why would they do that?”

“Like hell I know,” Jungwoo replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “My bet is that they’re hiding something. Which we already knew, but I get lost every time I try to figure out what it is exactly.”

“You aren’t the only one,” you droned, releasing a pained breath.

Jungwoo mustered a smile, but it was thin. “Well, if it’s quite alright, I would like to return to my duties, Your Highness.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you for everything. You’ve been a great help,” you said, bowing respectfully in gratitude.

Jungwoo mirrored your movement. “It’s been a pleasure,” he told you sweetly. “I can’t skip out on my daily responsibilities, but if you ever need me, say the word and I’ll come.”

After thanking Jungwoo again and him assuring you that you weren’t in any way indebted to him, you trailed him up the creaky stairs and headed your own separate ways.

The brightness of the hallway compared to the lifeless cellar made you squint your eyes and wobble towards the edge of the stairs as you took a moment to readjust. Your brain also needed a second to process the newfound information. Now you had more answers, but twice as many questions.

Maybe Jungwoo was right. Maybe knowledge wasn’t power; it was a burden. But you were already in too deep to quit looking.

Jaehyun was too preoccupied to accompany you to his grandfather’s former bedchamber tonight and thus you opted out of the visit altogether. Of course, you knew what would inevitably happen if you didn’t press those keys, but you had an aggressive curiosity to sate.

The piano and your dreams were related. You knew that now. But if one of the piano’s unpredictable fates was to prolong its victims' agony, how come it abated yours instead?

For half a second, you wondered if Jungwoo was really telling the truth. You wanted to believe him, you really did, but something came to you and whispered not to trust anyone.

Not even Jaehyun. Hell, especially not Jaehyun.

Pulling the blankets over his thighs, Jaehyun glanced over to you as he crawled into bed and asked, “Did you have a good day without me?”

“It was long without you,” you replied, plopping a glass of water at your bedside in case you got thirsty.

“I’m sure. What did you do?”

“A little bit of everything. I had the most wonderful dinner. I only wish you could’ve stuck around for dessert. The chef said he misses cooking in front of you.” It was only partly a lie. Your weakened appetite wouldn’t allow you to eat in spite of the full-course meals prepped for you.

Jaehyun was smiling at some passing memories of him tagging along with you to aggravate the chef with curious banter. Though you mainly did all of the talking. “That’s good,” he said, chuckling quietly in amusement. “Tell him that I’m sorry I wasn’t there to hush you.”

Rolling your eyes, you grumbled, “Whatever.”

Jaehyun's infectious laughter filled your ears again. “Goodnight,” he whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to your brow.

“Goodnight,” you said back, releasing a shaky breath. For all of a second, you forgot that you were mad at him. His arms felt safe. Like home.

This is your home now. A cool shudder wrecked through you. How Jaehyun could feel so dangerous but so inviting all at once was beyond you.

You sank to your bloodied knees, unable to withstand the cramp shooting its way up your calves. Your tireless sprinting left you with just enough strength to crawl behind a door, thanking god that it was unlocked and quietly pushing it closed.

The space was completely silent, save for your labored breaths that you endeavored to suppress. Jaehyun couldn’t have been too far. It was a blessing that you even managed to escape him.

For now. Something told you that he wouldn’t give up so easily.

Pure darkness suffocated you with its chokehold. You glanced up and searched desperately for a light source. Your surroundings were virtually invisible. Propping your hands on the door, you pushed yourself off of the floor and groped the wall for a light, finding a chain and tugging it impatiently.

It took a couple of tries for the lights to flicker on. The space around you was hardly any less dim, but at the very least, you could make out where you were.

“Darling, come back,” called out Jaehyun’s featherlight voice just outside of the door. “Let’s just talk. All I want is to talk.”

He was closing in. You never realized your heart could thump at this quick of a rhythm. You never imagined the day where you would be terrified for your life. Your eyes winced in pain as you moved along the cracked wall, but you couldn’t stop.

Shivers tensed your entire body as you descended down the hallway. Bare feet hit the cold naked floor, because you opted out of running in heels minutes earlier.

Jaehyun’s footsteps came louder, closer. You swore quietly to yourself, realizing that the lights might’ve shone under the door and given you away. But the harder you tried to move, groping the wall for purchase, the more tempted you were to cry out in excruciating pain.

And then the worst happened. The door opened, a fraction of outdoor light stretching down the hallway to where you stood.

Your heart screamed in panic and alarm. Fear was merciless. None of this was fair. Jaehyun could give chase for hours, and he would if it came down to it, but you were running on empty.

“Baby, I know you’re in there,” Jaehyun called out gently, yet menacingly altogether.

It took everything in you not to mutter, “Fuck,” under your breath as you tried to get further and further away from him, hoping and wishing that he wouldn’t follow you if you were quiet enough.

Taking in one deep inhale, you tried to stabilize your breathing, but after running halfway across the palace, your work was cut out for you. You walked inch by inch, careful with your motions in case your injured legs misstepped and you came to the ground with a resounding thud, and moved as soundlessly as you could.

To your shock, you came across a stairway. In spite of how strangely familiar it seemed, you didn’t know where it would take you, but there was absolutely no way in hell that you were turning back.

It was only down from here.

Except there was a problem. The stairs had no railing and you didn’t trust yourself to feel your way through without tumbling down to your doom. You dropped to the floor again, putting your back to wherever the stairs led, and began to descend.

Jaehyun’s footsteps let you know he was still there, easing his way down the dark hallway. You didn’t understand why he walked so leisurely, taking his time to capture you. Almost like he knew you wouldn’t get far either way.

Your feet passed one stair at a time, cautious. You didn’t want to make any noise, but that ship sailed when one of the stairs creaked loudly. They reacted unfavorably to too much pressure, whining in response.

Panic made your blood thump in your ear and you hoped that Jaehyun didn’t hear, but you gave up on that when he said, “Darling, I can hear you.”

With all hope gone, you scurried down the stairs, ceasing to care about how safely you got there as long as you still made it alive in the end. You didn’t focus on breathing. Only on getting the fuck out of here.

You kept glancing up the stairs just to make sure Jaehyun wasn’t too near until your foot touched a different cool surface and you knew you were at the bottom. When you turned around though, your terror only intensified.

There was no place for you to go. Nowhere for you to run. There were no other paths for you to take because the room was a dead end.

“Give up, baby,” Jaehyun said, finally at the top of the stairs. He was coming down, slowly but surely, and he was going to take you. “I’ve got you. There’s nowhere else for you to run.”

With every step he took down the stairs, you took twice as many backwards, wobbling towards a wall. Like there was some kind of secret passage that would save your life.

There was no use anymore. Jaehyun set his feet on the floor and grabbed you just as you tried to turn away from him, pulling you into his open arms. You never stood a chance. He was stronger than you. Faster than you.

“It’s all okay,” Jaehyun whispered as you sobbed, your back burning wherever his fingers attempted to soothe you. “We’re together now.”

Your body veered to life, jerking awake. Your eyes instinctively snapped to your legs, searching them for injuries, but at worst they looked slightly stiff.

The rest of you trembled. You knew this was going to come, but it felt worse than you remembered. With a quick glance to your left, you noticed that Jaehyun wasn’t there.

You didn’t know if it was really something that you should’ve thought twice about or if the circumstances were just naturally making you suspicious. Either way, you wanted to know where he was. After a long day of handling his responsibilities, he should’ve been unable to leave bed, and yet, his side of the bed wasn’t even a little warm.

Too cold for him to be in the bathroom. Too cold for him to take a quick trip to the kitchen for a midnight snack.

You impulsively decided to investigate and rose to your feet, putting your toes in your slippers and stealthing down the corridor. You didn’t know where to look, but it helped that you saw a light coming from just down the hall, and you followed it discreetly.

All it would take was one wrong move for Jaehyun to overhear your footsteps. There didn't seem to be anyone patrolling down this corridor, which was typical, because Jaehyun’s family usually had their guards stand outside the entrance doors.

That only meant that you had to be quieter. The door to Jaehyun’s office was wide open, inviting anyone to see what he was up to, but you didn’t want to make yourself known yet. You wanted to see who he was when you weren’t there.

Ignoring the formidable stares of the statues, you crept closer to Jaehyun’s private office, breathing solely through your nose. The same hallways you loved to cruise seemed so much scarier when the lights were off.

Finally, you approached the light, hearing chatter the closer you grew to the door. You attached yourself to the wall, peaking your head inside ever so slightly. But when you saw what was happening inside, you stifled a gasp.

Jaehyun was at his document-laden desk, looking far from exhausted, and he was sitting face-to-face with Jungwoo.

“Accordingly, I will have to take charge of the country a little longer and my parents duties will fall into my palms,” Jaehyun said, folding his arms across the desk.

Given that you were at an awkward angle, you couldn’t see Jungwoo's face, but you could hear the confusion in his voice, “I understand, Your Highness, though respectfully, I don’t see why you asked me here.”

“I’m requesting a favor.”

“May I know what it is?”

You shuffled to get a better glimpse into Jaehyun’s office, but scraped the floor with your heel in the process. You swore under your breath, hoping they didn’t hear you, and sensed your heartbeat quicken.

Jaehyun stiffened in his chair. “Did you hear that noise?”

“Well, this palace is infamous for them, but I’m afraid that I can’t say that I’m a victim of sound,” Jungwoo replied, cocking his head to trail his gaze where Jaehyun’s had fallen.

Your face tensed with confusion. Jungwoo didn’t hear the noises?

“That’s not what I meant,” Jaehyun said, standing from his seat to investigate.

At the sound of footsteps, you quickly tiptoed towards a nearby door, pushing it open and squeezing yourself between hardware supplies. It was a tight fit, but you only focused on avoiding Jaehyun.

He glanced around both sides of the hallway, as if he was preparing to cross a bustling road. There was nothing. You were hiding in a closet merely a few feet away.

You exhaled a quiet breath of relief when you heard him retreating, but frowned when you heard the door close behind him. You were clueless. What did Jaehyun have to hide? And with Jungwoo of all people, you wondered.

Stumbling out of the closet and into the darkness, you crossed your arms. Jungwoo was one of the few people you found reliable here, but there was something he knew right now that you didn’t. You turned the corner to withdraw back to Jaehyun’s bedchamber, immediately jotting down a mental note to press him about it later.

When you came back to bed, you found yourself still nervous without Jaehyun beside you. And you rebuked yourself for it instantly after.

You didn’t realize it in your sleep, but the place where your dream occurred was the cellar Jungwoo had taken you to. Only darker. And with a soon-to-be king chasing you to the end.

You shook your head with a groan, deciding that you would catch some sleep. For whatever reason, you had a strange feeling that you’d be needing it soon.

To your shock, it was daylight when you rose again. Somehow, you actually slept through the entire night. The only sounds that jolted you awake were those of impatient knocks coming from the bedchamber door.

You exhaled grumpily and groaned, “Can I help you?”

“Good morning, Your Highness. Per your husband’s wishes, I’ve come to wake you for your schedule today,” came Jungwoo’s voice.

Your eyes snapped open. Glancing to your side, you noticed that Jaehyun wasn’t there, and wondered if he ever returned. “I wasn’t aware that I had anything scheduled for today.”

“It was arranged overnight.”

“May I ask what was arranged?”

Jungwoo answered, “There will be a dinner party this evening in the east wing in honor of His Highness’ grandfather. The staff will be coming to style you shortly.”

Huh, I didn’t know that his grandfather’s birthday was today. Then again, Jaehyun was very private. “Okay, thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

Before he could run off to take care of his other tasks, you called out, “Jungwoo?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

You considered asking Jungwoo about his encounter with Jaehyun the night before, but decided at the last minute that you didn’t need him to know that you had been there. “Nevermind. Thanks a ton.”

For a whole day, you were kept preoccupied in Jaehyun’s bedchamber with a number of women fixed to you. The hours were so busy that you barely had time to think about your ongoing crisis. And half of you wondered if it was deliberate.

At least for a minute, you did. With the corset throttling the life out of you, it was difficult to focus on anything else. You were grateful when they lessened the pressure on your organs. The dress was a sparkling royal blue, like you suspected the bulk of the guests attire would be. According to Jaehyun, it was his grandfather’s favorite color.

It took hours for the women to finish with your makeup and hair. When the final touches were added, it was rapidly nearing dusk. The sun would be retiring below the horizon and the moon would settle over you now, quietly watching.

Just after seven o’clock, an nth staff member came to escort you to the ballroom on the east wing. You were disappointed that Jaehyun hadn’t come, but sucked it up. Like you, he had most likely been preparing for the party. He must’ve had other roles to fulfill. After all, it was in honor of his late grandfather.

His parents were out of the country, too. You remembered overhearing him mention to Jungwoo that their visit had been extended for whatever reason.

In a nutshell, he was a busy man.

Most eyes fell on you when you entered the ballroom’s double doors. You greeted anyone nearby courteously and extended them a polite thanks for coming, as a princess should welcome her guests.

But your attention was quickly drawn to your husband. You were still mad at him, or at least part of you wanted to be, but he looked mighty fine in that royal blue suit and his dark hair slicked back to hell. Goddamnit.

“Jaehyun,” you said when you finally caught up to him, almost out of breath. He refused to stay in one place for longer than a minute, one-by-one mingling politely with the crowd.

“There you are,” Jaehyun said, appearing more than glad to see you. Then, he grabbed your wrist, pressing his thumb to your pulse with an arched brow. “Your heart’s beating fast. Did you run a marathon before you got here or something?”

“Or something,” you murmured, shaking your head. Your husband was light on his feet.

Jaehyun said to a server passing by, “Please get my wife something cool to drink.”

“Yes, immediately, Your Highness,” the servant replied, making a break for the kitchen.

In the meantime, you scanned your husband. Other than his sexy suit that had your mouth watering to hell and back, Jaehyun was sporting a beaming smile, grinning from ear to ear. He looked happier than usual, in a way.

“You’re giving me that look.”

You flinched. His voice broke your thoughts, but your eyes kept wandering; wondering. “What look?”

Jaehyun retorted teasingly, “The one that makes me feel like you’re going to eat me.”

You snickered. “It’s your grandfather’s birthday. He’d be turning in his grave.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind as long as we had fun. My grandfather was big on milking a celebration for all that it was worth. He partied until his last breath,” Jaehyun joked.

That was delightful news to you. “I didn’t know royals knew how to really party.”

“Please. You should see my mother after three shots of vodka when there’s no camera rolling. She’s full of crazy.”

Your heart simpered. There was a lot you didn’t know and hadn’t seen about this family. Remembering the thought itching at the back of your mind, you wanted to mention how he wasn’t in bed last night, but didn’t know if it was a good time. Instead, you opted for a quiet, “You didn’t tell me your grandfather’s birthday was close.”

You expected Jaehyun to respond with something deflective, but it caught you off-guard when he replied honestly, “There’s a lot of things I don’t tell you.”

Your eyes shone with shock, but you played it off. “Like what?”

Jaehyun kept his eyes fixed to your face without a word, as if he was studying you before making his move. “Darling, If I told you all there was to know about me, we’d be here for days,” he finally said. “Maybe weeks.”

“I want to know you,” you whispered, something poignant in your voice.

“You do know me.”

The gleam in your eye shifted from sad to vicious, to coy. “Do I?”

Jaehyun nodded his head, gently smoothing a hand down the small of your back. “Yes, you do. I may not always lay my heart on the line, but deep, deep down inside, you know me. The real me, baby.”

Your eyes were staring into Jaehyun’s, like they were trying to forcibly peel back his layers and bare his soul to you, but it was all in vain. All you could liken it to was looking at someone with drunk double vision, your eyes deflecting two different images of him and your mind unsure of which one to trust.

Sometimes I feel like you tell me just enough to keep me satisfied. And then you feed me more crumbs when I start to get cranky, like giving a bottle to a baby.

“That drink you wanted, sir,” came a manly voice from beside you.

“Thank you,” Jaehyun replied politely, handing you the glass of water.

You accepted it gratefully, although your thirst was no longer for anything tangible. Nothing that you could touch with your bare, naked hands. It was for something deeper.

Only a couple seconds later, Jaehyun said, “Well, I’d better get going.”

Your eyes went wide. “You aren’t staying with me?”

“I have some more guests to greet and then a speech to give, and then I should be all yours,” Jaehyun told you, shooting you a consoling grin. “You look beautiful in that dress, by the way.”

Your lips spread into a tired smile. “Thanks. I’ve been wearing it all day.”

Jaehyun snorted and gave you a final pat on the back of reassurance before stepping away.

The party seemed to drag on without Jaehyun near your side and you were irreparably bored. You chatted with some guests with a polite set of white teeth ready to flash, but only because it was the expectation. Sneaking a couple of peeks at Jaehyun, it looked like he was still making his rounds.

Usually, the king and queen would help, but they obviously weren’t here. Thus, it was Jaehyun’s problem. He couldn’t just leave his own grandfather’s party unattended. That wouldn’t be in good taste.

You took a curious glimpse around and wondered how long you could disappear without anybody noticing. Probably only a couple of minutes. The whole ballroom would definitely know if you made a break for the double entrance, but if you slipped away through the kitchen, you had better odds.

With your glass of water in hand, you casually sauntered towards the little back hallway, hopeful your guests wouldn’t question your getaway.

When you entered the kitchen, you were immediately asked, “Where are you going?”

“Ten,” you gasped, a hand on your chest. He hadn’t even glanced up from his phone. You nearly dropped the glass of water. It had exhausted its purpose. “Would you ask that to a server?”

Ten retorted, “Would a server enter the kitchen with clacking six inch heels?”

“Touché,” you said. That explained how he knew it was you without even looking.

Ten was the only son of the family chef and he had no regard for the royal life. Well, that was debatable. Your in-laws would’ve thought he was disrespectful, had they (god forbid) ever met. You took Ten as someone unafraid to challenge the status quo. Of course, the two of you vibed. It was refreshing to talk to someone who didn’t remind you of your title every now and then.

Ten never, ever called you Your Highness. Not because he thought it was beneath him, but because he recognized your need for a friend. Not a follower.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Just getting away for a second, if that’s okay with you,” you deadpanned, crossing your arms.

Ten gasped dramatically. “During the party in loving memory of your husband’s dead grandfather? That’s scandalous, babe.”

You scoffed. “Please. You’re not even at the party.”

Ten shot back, “I’m not married to the prince, either.”

Though you didn’t mean it at all, you snarled, “You make me sick.”

“You hate that I’m right,” Ten said boastfully, sporting a victorious grin.

“Yeah, whatever,” you grumbled. “Where’s your dad? I thought the stew was supposed to be out fifteen minutes ago.”

Ten shrugged. “Smoke break. I wouldn’t eat it if I were you. Gave me the business.”

You winced. “Jesus. Well, I’ll be back. I need some fresh air.”

“I’ll let the hubby know if he asks questions.”

“Thanks.”

Then, you were on your way.

The corridors were less dense than they typically were, though considering there was an event happening not too many feet away from you, you figured security was keeping a close eye on the hallway on the other side.

If you were being frank, you had no clue where you were going. You just knew that you couldn’t be in that room with all those people much longer. Maybe you were starting to realize that the royal scene wasn’t for you. Or maybe it was your heightened suspicion planting those thoughts in your head.

Whatever it was, you didn’t like it. You wondered if Ten would take you in. You had no idea what a day in the life of Ten Lee was like, but it wouldn’t hurt to find out. That was a nice backup plan.

But leaving Jaehyun would sicken you in ways more lethal than any deadly disease. And Jaehyun would never forsake this life in this castle.

It was a part of him.

You’re talking crazy, you hissed to your insane thoughts. Perhaps it wasn’t a great idea to leave you alone by yourself with nothing but your thoughts and the silence that fed them. You might’ve been better off finding a guest with ears prepared to be talked off.

The east wing was unfamiliar to you although much of it looked identical to the west one. When you somehow traveled back over to your side, it came to your attention that the gardens were nearby. Curious, you made a beeline for the doors, wondering if Giselle was out finishing up her obligations for the day.

Night had dulled the sky completely when you stepped onto the familiar stone paths. The moon was there in her full glory, round and curvy with a thin veil of mist overneath, and the stars were few.

The clacking thud that Ten spoke of was a telltale sign of your presence, but you didn’t see anyone there to warn. Instead, the sound grounded you in reality, keeping you as far away from your teetering thoughts as humanly possible.

Wind was the only other sound. Actually, that was a lie; you heard owls lurking somewhere in the distance and knew they were wide awake. A sign that the night had truly begun.

“Hello?” you called out. “Giselle?”

Silence. That was strange. These people usually worked from bright and early in the morning until unsettlingly dark and late at night, but of course, if Giselle had gotten off early, you couldn’t complain. Good for her.

You were prepared to turn away and disappointedly retreat back to the party when you barely noticed something out of place in the corner of your eye.

Blood.

You were a curious person by nature. But this wasn’t an inquisitive investigation. This was a precautionary measure to make sure that nobody was injured.

But what you saw made you physically nauseous, a stir settling in your belly instantaneously. Your first instinct was to scream at the top of your lungs. Giselle was sprawled out just shy of the ice cold stone, lying on her stomach in a thick pool of her own blood.

“Oh my heavens,” you exclaimed, paralyzed with shock. Or fear. Probably a little (or a lot) of both.

Given that there was a ladder pressed against a tall tree and pruners almost right near her body, you made the reasonable assumption that she’d fallen. The shock dimmed a little in order so that you could think, and you kneeled over to check her for a pulse, but came to the heart-stopping conclusion that she was dead.

You backed away from Giselle. Your heart ached for her, but you couldn’t touch a dead body. The smell of death was foreign and overwhelming and you didn’t know how to keep yourself composed. Finding your bearings, you did what any reasonable person would do after discovering a lifeless body.

You went to find help.

It looked like an accident, like she had taken a wrong step and made a fatal mistake, but that didn’t mean you could just leave her there to rot. Somebody still had to call the police. And an ambulance.

Tears blurred your vision as you ran back to the east wing. You couldn’t believe that Giselle was gone. You didn’t want to believe that. She never let you get too close, but you recognized Giselle for the hard-working woman she was that had her life all too suddenly ripped away from her.

Fuck, this shouldn’t have happened. Giselle divulged to you about how her family needed her. They survived off of her income, her grueling long hours of hot hard work.

Your mind couldn’t help but come to the worst possible conclusions. What if she knew too much? She was the first one to mention the piano to you and she seemed to be in denial about something.

No, that’s ridiculous. There’s no way the monarchy would kill a devoted worker for keeping their filthy secrets, especially from their newest addition. She’s been inadvertently doing them a favor.

Then again, someone was guaranteed to keep a secret if it died with them. Still, there was no evidence that her untimely death and the piano’s curse was even remotely linked together. You saw the scene yourself. It looked like an accident, not a crime.

That made you remember what Jungwoo told you in the cellar about the deaths and disappearances. About how anybody who touched the piano either died mysteriously or disappeared without a trace.

You had no way of knowing for sure if Giselle ever touched the piano, but if she was a victim of sound, as Jungwoo put it, that should’ve somehow placed a target on her back. And yours. You shuddered at the thought.

Spooky sounds meant contact with the piano. You had done more than touched it. You’d played it. Almost every night for weeks. Jungwoo mentioned to Jaehyun that he didn’t hear the sounds, but he never told you if he touched the piano, either.

But if his father had, then knowing what Jungwoo knew, you doubted that he would.

Whatever it was, nothing made it easier to cope. Pictures of blood kept flickering behind your eyelids whenever you blinked. Your sobs echoed off the hallway walls with your hurried footsteps, but noticing the double doors finally come into view, you tried to pull yourself back together.

You subconsciously sighed out in relief when you got there, but when you came to draw it open, the hands refused to budge. “Fuck!” you cursed out.

Not that anybody would hear you. There was music thumping beneath your feet even outside the door and it would’ve done you no good to knock. It was strange that the door was locked, though. Now that you thought about it, there also weren’t any guards in the hallways.

But there was another entrance through the back.

Ten, you thought, already running again. Your legs ached from sprinting in heels, but somebody needed urgent medical attention. And Ten had a cellphone.

The kitchen entrance luckily wasn’t too far from where you already were and you came prepared to charge through the doors, but those, like the others, were also locked. You started to bang tirelessly on the door, yelling with complete vigor, “Ten, open the door! Someone needs help!”

There was no answer. You tried to beat harder, to scream louder, but every effort seemed useless. With your voice turning hoarse, that glass of water you left inside the kitchen suddenly sounded tempting.

“What the fuck,” you grumbled under your breath, exhausted and confused and in shock. You needed to lie down, but you refused to rest until help was on the way.

Why would Ten suddenly leave? Dinner couldn’t have even been ready yet. You didn’t know why he tagged along with his dad sometimes, but you did know that they came and went in the same

vehicle.

There was a door just to your left, one that led outside where Ten’s father would’ve parked. You immediately made a beeline for it, curious if they were gone. It was the only way you could rationalize the locked door and Ten’s absence.

You hoped to see somebody out there, and you did, but they weren’t breathing.

The chef was on the ground where he usually took his smoke breaks, bleeding as if he was torn from every seam and had been ripped open from every angle. You gaped, fixing a hand to your mouth as you wobbled in surprise, gripping the nearest wall for purchase.

Turning away from him, you heaved for breath and tried to keep your stomach's contents inside where they were. But there was blood splattered everywhere you looked. And if you thought the stench was overpowering earlier, you were in for the wildest ride of your life.

This death said loud and clear everything that Giselle’s didn’t. This was no mistake. Matter of fact, this scene was so messy that it couldn’t have not been done deliberately.

“Oh my god,” you rasped, unsure of what to say. And what to do. Never had you seen a dead body outside of a funeral backdrop and having seen not one, but two very dead people was seriously wounding your ability to think.

All you knew was that something was fishy. You thought Giselle’s death was a self-inflicted mistake, but you weren’t so convinced anymore, all things considered. This was the second body to wash up, metaphorically speaking. And this one had been undeniably murdered.

There was a serial killer on the loose.

Your first thought was Jaehyun and you started to panic, but you consoled yourself with the reminder that he had an entourage of loyal servants to protect him with their lives and shield him with their bodies. He was okay. Giselle and Ten’s father, on the other hand, not so much.

Speaking of Ten, you still had no clue where he was or what he was doing. For all you knew, he could’ve been the killer.

No. There’s no way. Ten didn’t have a mean bone in his body, much less a murderous one. Plus, what would he have against Giselle?

And why would he kill his own father?

I don’t know. None of this makes sense. I don’t know why anyone would hurt Giselle or the chef, or anyone for that fucking matter, you huffed, angry. These people didn’t deserve to die. The person responsible would pay.

Unable to withstand the stench, you pinched your nose and turned for the door. Of course, it would be the only one unlocked. You had the misfortune of seeing what was behind lucky door number three.

Back in the halls, you only walked aimlessly. You had no idea where the fuck you were going and it was probably a terrible idea to be out and about with an anonymous blood-hungry murderer on the loose, but you weren’t thinking that far.

Images continued to flicker in your head. You wondered what were the last things these people saw before they died, if they knew what they had coming. And you realized what a shame it was that everything these people knew died the second they took their last breaths.

You couldn’t wrap your head around this happening. And you wanted to know why. With the chef’s murder, accidents were completely out of the window, and you thought about the piano again. But that made even less sense.

What business would the chef have with the piano? You doubted that man had ever strayed further than the dining hall.

Your thoughts traveled even further. Giselle was a gardener. The bulk of her work happened outside and there was hardly any need for her to come indoors when all the tools for her job could be found in the shed.

More than ever, you needed answers, and more than ever, they seemed impossibly difficult to come by.

The further you traveled down the hallway, the louder the sound of jagged breathing grew until it finally snapped you out of your biohazard of thoughts. You stiffened with alarm, body alert, and realized it might’ve been in your best interest to locate a useful weapon.

You ducked behind a corner, not wanting to be caught like a helpless damsel in distress if it was the killer (though only a lousy one would’ve been so noisy), but you heard a groan and knew in your heart that you recognized that voice.

Peeking around the corner ever so slightly, you noticed Ten clutching his stomach and clinging to a wall for dear life, sticky with hot sweat. And you discerned that he was no threat.

“Ten,” you called out, approaching him with concern. “What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?”

Ten shook his head, only barely keeping himself standing. You came to grab him and noticed he was burning up a thousand degrees, helping him slowly sit on the floor. “I told you. That stew gave me the business.”

“This isn’t just a stomach ache, Ten. I think you were poisoned,” you said, crouched down to be eye level with him.

Ten forced a smile even though he was clearly uncomfortable and in a lot of pain. “Yeah, you’re telling me. But my father was the only one controlling the food. He wouldn’t do that to me.”

The mention of his father made your shoulders stiffen. You scanned Ten’s face, wondering if you should’ve told him what you knew. If he was still alive by the end of this, he would find out one way or another. “Ten, have you seen your dad?”

“I know he’s dead.”

You cocked him a glance. “You don’t sound disappointed.”

“Do I sound like I’m in a lot of pain?” Ten asked.

“You sound like you’re trying to keep yourself whole.”

“That’s because I’m kinda dying here. I’m sorry if I’m bad at multitasking,” Ten hissed, paling on the spot.

Your gaze turned apologetic. “Listen, I’m sorry,” you whispered quietly, glancing around the hallway for suspicious onlookers. “I’ve found two dead bodies and I’ve been running all over the palace looking for help. Please, don’t be the third.”

“Trust me, I don’t wanna be any more than you want me to be…,” Ten trailed, wincing. “Holy fuck. Holy fucking shit. I’m gonna die.”

“Don’t say that!” you screamed.

Ten threw his head back and groaned, “Babe, I feel like my guts are being ripped open, and not in a good way.”

You wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Ten was good at keeping the mood as light as it could be as he literally died right before your eyes. And there was nothing you could do to save him. You felt helpless.

“We’ve got to find help,” you told him, grabbing his hands in yours.

Ten shook his head. His skin was glistening with a thick layer of sweat and each of his breaths sounded labored. “I can’t move. The room feels so hot. I think I’m gonna pass out.”

He looked like it, too. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes, but you fought them back. At the very least, if Ten was going now, he wouldn’t go alone. “Ten, somebody did this to you. You already said your father wouldn’t. Somebody else had to be in the kitchen.”

Ten shrugged weakly. “So many people went in and out of the kitchen. I don’t even know their names. It could’ve been anyone.”

You released a shaky breath. That answer helped no one.

Ten’s eyes started to flutter and you shook him in your arms, begging, “No, please don’t close your eyes on me. You’re a fighter. Fight.”

“I’m fighting,” he whispered, voice on the verge of silence. “But sometimes we just lose.”

“I can’t lose you, too,” you cried, trembling as you held him. For as long as he was there, breathing and talking to you, you wouldn’t let him think that he was alone.

Ten shook his head. You knew he had given it his all, because Ten wasn’t the type to go down without a fight, even if he didn’t win in the end. He’d never let someone else claim a peaceful victory. “If I die right now, I want you to know it’s been a pleasure knowing you.”

“Ten…,” you said. Tears made your eyes burn now. You were clenching your fists so hard his hands were probably sore.

“They might come for you. Don’t surrender. Whoever this guy is, you give them hell until you can’t anymore.”

A lone tear finally slipped past your cheek. “What if I don’t make it?”

“Then you die knowing you did absolutely everything you could to stay alive,” Ten whispered with the last of his strength.

Your heart was bursting with sadness and unadulterated rage. To watch somebody in their final moments was different than imagining it unfold. This made it even more real. This was a picture you would never forget even in death.

Finally, Ten’s strength gave out, and you lingered there for a minute even after. Your thumb pressed to his wrist and you noted that he still had a weak pulse.

You nodded your head. That was enough for you. But you had to find help immediately.

And you absolutely had to find out who was responsible for this. They would have a brutal punishment.

You wiped the tears from your eyes and started to run again, but you didn’t get far before you collided into Jaehyun’s chest, and you released a breath of relief when you saw him. “Oh my goodness, Jaehyun. Thank god it’s you. I’ve been trying to get help for ages. Two people are dead and I think Ten’s on his way out.”

Jaehyun’s voice was unbothered. “Really?”

You realized then that the night was far from over.

You pulled back, suspicious. You just told him that two people had died in his castle. He should’ve been fuming. “Why do you sound so nonchalant?”

Jaehyun’s lips were in a line. “I warned you not to go looking too deep. You should’ve listened like a good girl.”

The realization was starting to settle in, but you didn’t want to know the truth. You didn’t even want to fathom it. For so many weeks, you’d been unknowingly wallowing in ignorance. “This is your fault. You did this, didn’t you?”

“Yes. All of it was me,” Jaehyun said, like he was proudly boasting about his murders.

You shook your head. You knew there was something going on, something that your husband was at the heart of, but not like this. “Ten’s dying.”

Jaehyun looked and sounded completely indifferent, “Okay, that’s dramatic. He shouldn’t be dead. He’s in for a solid nap, though. And a concussion if he hit the ground too hard.”

That didn’t happen. You had been the one to personally lower Ten to the ground. Either way, you were none too pleased. You weren’t sure if that was supposed to be reassuring, because Jaehyun’s tone was empty and his face was borderline inscrutable.

Your whole body felt weak. The room was spinning. Your own body was on the brink of collapse.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Jaehyun commented, studying your appearance. You probably looked like you had actually run a marathon.

“You’re a monster,” you snapped, brimming with loathing and hatred.

Jaehyun didn’t flinch. “It’s been said,” he told you, like it was only a regular insult to him.

You shook your head. This couldn’t be happening.

Jaehyun took a step closer to you, and you took twice as many back. You wanted to be nowhere near him. This wasn’t the Jaehyun you knew. He was cold. Alternatively, maybe this was the Jaehyun you’d known all along, the one you’d tried to suppress.

Your mind was showing you the warning signs. She was giving you all the right signals. And yet, you were blind to each of them.

Jaehyun tilted his head, looking at you with fucking nothing. There was nothing in his eyes. Nothing on his face. “Do you believe in happy endings?”

“Not with you in it,” you seethed, convulsing with a newfound anger you never thought you could possess, much less direct towards your husband.

Jaehyun snickered for the first time since you’d last seen him. “I’m giving you the chance to have yours.”

You glared at him, wary. “What does that mean?”

“It means that you have thirty minutes to leave this castle and have your happy ending without me, but if I catch you before then, you’re mine. It’s like hide and seek.”

You wanted to rage. This man had the audacity to play fucking games with you when so many lifes were gone and many more were probably at stake. There was no telling who else he’d hurt. “When do my thirty minutes start?”

“Right now.”

You left then and there. You couldn’t stand to be in proximity of Jaehyun for another fucking second. And he didn’t follow. He was letting you think that you had a chance.

When you turned the corner, safely out of his vision, you could finally acknowledge the beaten and battered condition of your heart. The look Jaehyun had given you only moments ago was unlike any other you’d ever seen. It was colder.

You should’ve seen it coming. Jaehyun was the missing piece. This was all happening because of his grandfather’s piano, for fuck’s sake. The same grandfather whose birthday happened to be today. Of course, it wasn’t a coincidence that bodies started dropping that same day.

You were angry. You were hurt. To be honest, you were just the right amount of everything. And yet, you were thinking about how madly you were still in love with Jaehyun.

Wincing your eyes closed, you wished that this was just a nightmare like everything else. That you would wake up in Jaehyun’s arms and he'd tell you that it was all a bad dream. Unfortunately, the longer the night went on, the more you accepted that that couldn’t be farther away from the truth.

The only real difference was that Jaehyun wasn’t right on your tail. He was giving you an opportunity to escape and free yourself from this hellhole once and for all. Your shoulders suddenly felt cold when you recalled something that he’d told you.

I would never chase you, Jaehyun had said. I will always have you right where I want you.

The statement made you feel uneasy then, but you overlooked it, because you wrongfully assumed that Jaehyun was harmless.

You shook the thoughts away. He wasn’t worth thinking about right now. Survival was your top priority and escaping was the only way you’d ever know peace.

The palace had a grand total of four entrances stretched across its acres - the main gate, the east entrance, the south entrance, and the west entrance. Only the east entrance was nearby. You knew Jaehyun wouldn’t have made this easy, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

You hurried to the nearest exit leading outdoors and breathed only a little easier when you were met with the fresh, crisp night air. Given that you’d been running in heels for what felt like hours, you finally ditched them near a bush and started to run again.

Traveling to the gate would take forever without a car. The same could be said about the rest of the castle, far from tiny, and you only had thirty minutes on the clock.

You had to make every minute count.

You wanted to sob, but you focused solely on getting the fuck out of there. You hadn’t forgotten about Ten, but you couldn’t help him here. Jaehyun had apparently taken mercy upon him, sparing his life where he hadn’t hesitated to steal others.

Why? Was it some kind of reflection of control? Did he realize that Ten wasn’t the root of his need to kill?

Whatever that was.

“Too much is going on right now,” you whispered to yourself, heart thudding quicker.

For a second you wondered if the other staff you cared for was alright. These were people you saw everyday, working from dusk till dawn, and yet still treated you with respect and kindness. Their sweetness deserved to be spread, not eliminated and forgotten.

Giselle was gone and had no hope for revival, but as far as you were concerned, Jungwoo was still skipping around with a burden of secrets on his shoulder. Part of you couldn’t bring yourself to fully trust him, not after his disaster of a meeting of Jaehyun, but that didn’t mean he should’ve died.

Apparently, you and Jaehyun weren’t on the same page. The worst part was that you couldn’t even begin to fathom what he got out of slaughtering his employees like animals. You’d never been able to see inside his head.

The east gate came into view and you circled in on it, desperate to make an escape. You briefly considered the possibility of Jaehyun being nearby, potentially having taken a closer exit, prepared to hinder you by any means necessary.

But when the gate refused to budge like you feared, you came to the conclusion that he was definitely far away. Jaehyun was five steps ahead of you.

He had all of the advantages in this twisted game, you realized. Jaehyun grew up in this palace; he obviously had to know all of the ins and outs, every nook and cranny. It would take you, on the other hand, the entire thirty minutes to navigate from one end of the place to the other.

This game was never created to be fair. You remembered him showing you little shortcuts along the palace to make your trips shorter. If you wanted to survive, you’d have to fight for your life.

“Fuck,” you groaned under your breath. You had no way of telling for sure how much time had passed, but if you had to guess, at least ten minutes.

The sky was dark and mistier than it was earlier. At least it felt that way. The tears stinging your eyes made it even harder to see and you were inching closer to succumbing to the battle. If Jaehyun had rigged it from the start, you knew there was no way in hell you were getting out.

But Ten’s words rang out in your brain. He was alive for now, but as far as he knew, they could’ve been his final ones. And you knew you couldn’t give up yet.

Mustering the courage to continue fighting like Ten would’ve, you remembered something. There was an emergency exit near Jaehyun’s grandfather’s room. You didn’t care to know why. Bad things just seemed to happen when he was involved.

Without a second thought, you headed back inside. If you wanted out, you didn’t have a choice.

Your sanity fought for control against your pumping adrenaline and you came to accept that it wasn’t possible for both to coexist with each other. One or the other. And if you were up against a sicko like Jaehyun, you needed to fight fire with fire.

You had to degrade yourself to his level, meet him where he was at. You had to become you at your worst version. A hell-raising monster with a thirst for blood.

There was a familiar ground nearby when you approached the door. The part of the garden you never wandered into, because it was the same place that godawful dream happened. With the pond and stone galore.

You quickly swiped a pitchfork, throwing it over your shoulder, and when you were finally through the door, started sprinting back down the hallways. The emergency exit was all the way in the west wing and you had less time than you would’ve liked to make it the hell out of there.

Every bone in your body ached, but you had too much to fight for. You didn’t even know what all was at stake if Jaehyun won, but you didn’t want to know, and you couldn’t sleep beside him at night anymore knowing who he was and what he’d done.

Turning each corner, you looked around for signs of a lingering Jaehyun before you kept going. Every hallway looked exactly the same as the one that came before it and it made you feel like you were walking in circles, impossible to tell if you were even going anywhere. It was thrusting you far past the brink of madness.

Minutes passed, but courtesy of the painful yet handy adrenaline rush, it felt like seconds when you found the west wing stairs. Taking the elevator would’ve been a quicker option, but if Jaehyun was nearby, he would know if the elevator was preoccupied, and you had no interest in playing russian roulette with your life.

But there was a familiarly pungent smell in the air.

You wanted to be sick when you saw the source. The others were messy, but this death was brutal in ways you had never witnessed. Jungwoo’s remains were perched on the stairs within a pool of nauseating blood, sitting in his own overkill.

His insides were definitely on the outside. Matter of fact, they were everywhere, decorating a number of steps. Jungwoo was savagely mangled and mutilated, similar to how a wolf would ravage an elk, like his killer wanted there to be little to nothing of him left.

“Jungwoo,” you gasped in shock, crouching down as your legs started to tremble.

His dead body was on display. Like the person who killed him wanted you to see what they’d done. And you couldn’t bring yourself to accept that Jaehyun was the reason why.

All the skepticism you had towards him devolved into regret. Of course, Jungwoo wasn’t to blame for any of the wicked stuff happening in the shadows. Like his father, he was a victim. And at the end of the day, like you, all he wanted was answers.

There was a weight on your chest and an unbridled rage spiraling inside your heart. “I’ll find them for you,” you whispered vengefully.

Then, you heard it. Scratching in the walls stretching near the stairway. In spite of the several claims of their existence, you’d never heard them until now. Soon after, you could’ve swore you heard a familiar voice.

Jaehyun. He was in the fucking walls?

Stepping around Jungwoo’s bloody corpse, careful not to step your bare feet in any stray specks of blood, you headed upstairs with a sparkling revolve keeping your blood pumping. The emergency exit was close.

It was actually right down the hallway. When you were walking from the bedchamber with Jaehyun, the journey felt longer, but you ignored every glare from those evil statues and came right in front of the emergency door.

After yanking the knob, it begrudgingly opened and you stepped inside without a moment of consideration. There was no time. Do or die.

The door closed behind you on its own terms. You just kept pushing. This was your only ticket to escape and though you weren’t exactly sure where the path led, you had no intention to stop and fret about your whereabouts. It was worth nothing though, that the deeper you came, the more it felt like a secret passageway.

The hallway didn’t look the way you pictured an escape route. The walls were accessorized with portraits and lights. And you couldn’t believe your shock when you saw it diverge into different paths like a crossroad.

This fucking was a secret passageway.

There was something else you noticed. Those scratches sounded closer than they had when you were outside, like somebody dragging their nails onto the walls as they walked.

“What the fuck?” you wondered.

You stiffened when you heard your husband’s voice, “Darling, is that you? Your thirty minutes are over.”

Nope. Silent as ever, you made for the other path. You were picking your battles.

Jaehyun was probably closer to the way out of here after all. He would’ve never given you a free opportunity. He was probably guarding the escape just in case you were clever (or lucky) enough.

His footsteps were slow. You couldn’t see him, but you could hear him, and he was in no particular hurry to catch you. You worried that you were walking into a dead end, but when you came out on the other side, there was another set of doors.

Your eyes flickered between them. You had time to waste before Jaehyun even got anywhere close to you, but you wanted to get ahead. After a moment of carefully contemplating, you made the nerve-wracking decision to go for the right.

When you stepped out, you found yourself right back where it all began. You were outside, but not as far as you would’ve liked. It was the gardens. You glimpsed around and saw the tree you wed Jaehyun under.

Though it had been full of white flowers the day you exchanged vows, promising each other eternity, they had unfortunately succumbed to the drier air.

“That was a fun day, huh?”

Your startled body jolted with alarm and the usual ease that filled you when you realized it was only Jaehyun behind you was nowhere to be found. He was the evil you’d been searching for, hiding in plain sight.

He had you fooled. He made you think that he was somebody he wasn’t. Worst of all, you believed him. You trusted him, completely and utterly. You were willing to give him all of you at the drop of a dime.

“Stay back. I’ll hurt you,” you threatened, posing the pitchfork in your sweaty hands.

Emotion flickered over Jaehyun’s face; amusement. “A pitchfork? That’s really medieval, don’t you think?”

Your tone darkened, “I’m warning you.”

Jaehyun stepped closer, leaving himself open and vulnerable. “Then, do it. I’m right here. I have no weapon,” he said, holding his hands above him.

Panic settled in. It occurred to you that your feelings for Jaehyun would never let him hurt you unless your own life was threatened, and for some reason, you believed that Jaehyun would never hurt you. He had all of the opportunities. Yet he had never a finger on you.

Plus you still needed answers. For yourself, and for the people whose lives were taken because of them. Tears stinging your eyes again and a shattering echoing out in your heart, you tossed the pitchfork aside and roared, “I hate you!”

“That isn’t true,” Jaehyun said, gentle and tender. His voice was loving, but his eyes were soulless. “You love me. I make you happy.”

You shook your head vigorously. “I’ve spent the past couple of hours in distress, all because of you. Why? What’s really going on, Jaehyun?”

“At the end of the day, the piano calls, and I answer. The responsibility skipped my father, but it’s what my grandfather did. I didn’t have a choice,” Jaehyun said, wholly convinced that this was some god-given obligation.

And you were having none of it. It was just excuses. “That doesn’t make sense. You killed all of those people because of a fucking piano?”

“This is why I couldn’t tell you. I knew that you wouldn’t understand. You have to live it to know.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” you seethed, stepping away from him.

Jaehyun didn’t follow. He was comfortable standing there and watching you, because he knew you had nowhere to run. “This isn’t a regular piano. It hands out curses like candy. It’s an entity and to prevent itself from being destroyed, it chooses its protectors.”

The whole world was spinning. Was he trying to tell you that the piano was alive or something?

“He was the chosen protector - my grandfather, I mean. Like I said, it skipped my father and went to me. The piano gives anyone that touches it one of two curses to protect itself. I only enforce that fate.”

The world around you was starting to blur. Jaehyun didn’t see those corpses as people. Instead, he saw them as curses that needed to be removed.

Standing required too much extra strength that you didn’t have. You stumbled and staggered, weakening by the second, and when you started to head for the ground, Jaehyun caught you in his strong arms. “Careful. You might get hurt.”

He was perfectly composed while everything as you knew it was falling apart, piece by fucking piece. Glancing into his eyes, you hissed, “What are the curses?”

“Hm?”

“You said that when someone touches the piano, they get one of two curses. What are they?”

“Death,” Jaehyun said as normal as ever. “Or perpetuity. They have to live their worst fear until the day that they croak.”

You didn’t think that you could get any angrier, but that didn’t even begin to describe the sharp pain heating your whole body up to hell. “You let me touch that piano, you encouraged me to, knowing I would immediately be cursed.”

Jaehyun saw where you were going with this and replied coolly, “If I knew you were going to die, I would’ve kept you away from it.”

“So you knew I would’ve been cursed with perpetuity,” you said in an accusing tone. “Meaning you knew my biggest fear.”

“I might’ve exploited my power. Your every nightmare revolves around me. You’re so scared of me it keeps you awake at night. I had to use that to my advantage. I can’t lose you.”

And there it was. The ugly truth on a silver platter. Jaehyun gave you the creeps and instead of trying to prove his innocence to you, he took advantage of your fear, making sure to create a reality where you would never be able to get rid of him for as long as you both breathed.

This was the end. Glancing at the tree where you exchanged vows only earlier this spring, you realized that everything pointed back to Jaehyun. It always had.

Pulling back from Jaehyun, because you couldn’t stand to touch him, you snapped, “You didn’t chase me, because you knew that in the end, everything led back to you.”

Jaehyun didn’t deny it, chuckling. Like he thought that he was clever. “Why would I chase you when I’ve already bound you to me?”

You physically felt weak and sick. You didn’t want to believe that Jaehyun had somehow manipulated your fate so that you couldn’t leave him. Your only escape was through death. Every shaky exhale you took ached.

Jaehyun continued, “That’s why your little dreams don’t make sense. It doesn’t matter how far or quickly you run away from me. I will always catch you without trying. I always get what I want and you’ll never slip through my fingers. You’re mine.”

At those words, you wobbled away, but it was more like a vicious drawback. “You killed Giselle and Jungwoo and Ten’s father. Why?”

Like he was incapable, there wasn’t a lick of remorse in Jaehyun’s voice when he replied, “I put Giselle out of her misery. She had the perpetuity curse. No matter how hard she worked, she was going to be doomed to her worst nightmare for the rest of life - dying poor. I only made it happen sooner. It was quick.”

You felt like regurgitating yesterday’s lunch the longer this conversation happened, but you held it back.

“Jungwoo had it coming. He didn’t have the curse, unlike his father, but it was obvious that he had a thing for you and it was disgusting. I honestly did him a favor. He doesn’t have to live in pain anymore.”

Had a thing for you? You never got that vibe from Jungwoo. He was polite and respectful, and you treated him likewise. You never thought you would get a man killed for his manners.

“And the chef,” Jaehyun began, pleasure flickering onto his face for the briefest of seconds, but you swore it was there. “He was just practice and a victim of opportunity. It’s been a minute. I’m rusty.”

“You killed him for no reason,” you spat.

“It appears that way.”

Your body recoiled with every unpleasant feeling it had to offer. “You killed Jungwoo for no reason, too. He was just a nice guy,” you said through gritted teeth.

It was like the angrier you got, the calmer Jaehyun stood, taking every one of your metaphorical hits like they were a gentle nudge to the shoulder. “I killed him out of love for you. He wanted what was mine. I had to remind him of his place. He was a nobody.”

Turning away, you decided that you couldn’t look at Jaehyun any longer. You couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. You were upset and disappointed and everything in between.

Jaehyun’s eyes were fixed to that goddamn tree. “I had no feelings for you at first. Marrying you was just another duty I knew I had to fulfill for my country. It was business. But then we started to get to know each other, and I fell for you.”

“I had feelings for you too,” you croaked, voice shaking with pain.

Jaehyun was quick to add, “You still do. Don’t you see what I did for you? I turned you into royalty.”

“I never fucking asked you to,” you screamed off the top of your lungs. Letting the whole palace hear you for all you cared, if anybody was still alive in there. “I married you because it was what my parents wanted. I just happened to actually like you for a minute.”

“You’ll come around,” Jaehyun said nonchalantly, unfazed by your aggression. “You’ll realize that you were made for me. And you’ll accept that our love was written in the stars.”

There were no stars when you glanced into the night sky. Not even a sliver of the moon. Even she was too ashamed of what was happening under her nose right now and couldn’t bear to witness it unfold.

But it dawned on you then. The only time you would ever see the moon and her stars again was if you stepped onto the grounds of this very garden. Jaehyun had caught you. You waltzed straight into his trap and now you had to reap what you’d sowed.

You were his. Whether you liked it or not. You might’ve not ever given up on escaping him, even if it took a lifetime, but for right now, Jaehyun had won.

“Let’s go, baby,” Jaehyun said, wrapping an arm around your waist. You shuddered. His hands were cold to the touch. “It’s late. We should get ready for bed. We have to stop by the piano so that you don’t have bad dreams.”

The walk to Jaehyun’s grandfather’s bedchamber was quieter than it had ever been. You kept him at arm’s length, ashamed. And maybe a little fearful.

And there the piano stood in its glory when the door opened, untouched and unmoving. She was evil as ever, wallowing in her curse. Your fingers ran across the keys as the curse wrecked through your blood, present and constant.

“I’ll never forgive you for this,” you whispered, glancing up at Jaehyun.

For the first time in a minute, Jaehyun smiled. He replied sweetly, “Darling, it’s okay. You’ll understand soon. We only have each other now.”

You didn’t want to know what that meant. Instead, you pressed your fingers to the bitterly cold keys, squeezing your eyes closed as you played a melody by heart.

Finally, tears started to fall down, gathering on the keys. Then, you realized that you weren’t a victim of sound, but an indulger. Your body was there, but your mind was with nature. With the blowing wind and gentle breezes, the rippling water and swimming critters.

Your mind was with your friends. With Giselle in the garden, helping her trim branches and plot plants for the queen. With Jungwoo, exploring new places around the palace that you never knew existed. With Ten, rambling about anything and everything under the sun.

You escaped through every harmonious noise, fingers pacing ruthlessly, and keeping your eyes closed as you pretended that everything was okay.

Jaehyun came behind you, resting his head on your shoulder while his arms came around you again. His touch was familiar and though it used to keep you whole, when you sat there, defenseless and helpless, you could feel a piece of you break off and die in his arms.

#jaehyun smut #nct 127 smut #nct smut #jaehyun x reader #nct imagines #jaehyun imagines #jung jaehyun smut #jeong jaehyun smut #nct x reader #nct #nct scenarios

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weeb-polls-with-pip · 5 months

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Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 2

Propaganda:

Kyouya -

"what's there to say? you know him. you love him. vote kyoya."

Rinnosuke -

"Rinnosuke Morichika lives in an overly-cluttered curio shop, and has a special interest in making magical inventions. Since he doesn’t live in a modern setting— but a pocket dimension slightly disconnected to the outside world— whenever a modern item shows up in his shop via spiriting away, he can obsess over it for extended periods of time. He is quite blunt without realizing it, even to people he cares for. He also has a special ability to generally understand the name and use of any item he touches (though this backfires sometimes, he thought a Gameboy was a doomsday device once)."

Fuuta -

"okay look theres so many fucking signs hes autistic. he cannot tell tone and often doesn't know how to react to stuff which is a major point in his character id say. he was asked if he remembered his victim's name (hes a murderer. oops!) and his response was something along the lines of "Of course I do. I saw it everywhere." because he did not understand that they wanted to know what it was since it wasnt directly stated. im convinced that hoodies are a comfort object of his because i genuinely have not seen him without one except for one time. also hes canonically a chronically online twitter user. also he gets really passionate about his interests. also not really related but everyone in the fandom agrees hes transgender but no one can agree on what way. ive seen every single gender hc for this dude. vote kajiyama fuuta for this sopping wet poor little meow meow of a man."

Hansum -

"He's just a very odd and strange lad, can't remember names well, is an alien (mild spoiler), he's very popular, obsessed with Doritos and becomes their mascot, just refers to everyone as humans which is a mood, and is completely socially oblivious."

Miyuki -

"Relatable neurodivergent-Gifted Child syndromeTM case with all the superiority-inferiority complex that results. A chronic show-off and scheming strategist with a lowkey hopeless romantic dramatic aspect to him, silly cool and pathetic in a very hilarious way. Shirogane has a trademark glare purely thanks to his eyebags as he runs on coffee everyday having to support his family with multiple jobs in addition to class, on top of student council president duties. He's kind and an obsessive perfectionist who fills his entire wall with the weirdest motivational posters. Shirogane is very devoted to his love. He likes penguins (Kaguya and him is peak asd4asd and bi4bi btw)."

Kirito -

"He's autistic and bisexual as hell, and there's a good bit of trans coding in him 🥺

Autism coding: Bro's literally got a sword and swordfighting hyperfixation where, despite playing a game that focuses around guns, he still chooses to use a sword!! We also see him completely missing Asuna's flirting at first (he tells her she could have just checked her friendlist to make sure he was alive, in response to her tracking him down to see him)

Bi coding: Dual wielding swords is literally a euphemism in Japan for bisexuality; and Kirito initially tries to hide the fact he can dual wield out of fear of how the people he's close to will view him (and once he reveals it to them and they accept it, he begins to be more open about it.) Also in the Underworld arc he becomes very close with Eugeo to the point of living with him (and sharing a bed on occasion), and there are several parallels between Eugeo and Asuna, and they're so gay for each other that despite the anime having only a toned down version of it, they're still very affectionate (Also of note is that Eugeo is the only guy in SAO canon to consistently have a 'laying in bed with Kirito' talk CG in the spinoff games) (There's more but it's spoilers and this is a shortened version)

Trans coding: Kirito is very trans coded in the light novel (which shows Kirito's thoughts in much greater detail than the anime) Aincrad arc reveals that Kirito explicitly Does Not Like his real face, and dislikes how feminine it looks (he mentions that its led to him and his cousin being mistaken for sisters) And in Phantom Bullet arc, he's visibly uncomfortable at being mistaken for a girl due to his avatar's appearance, and in response to being misgendered he briefly panics and checks to make sure his chest flat (at least in the anime adaptation) 🏳️‍⚧️"

Shirou -

"Has one goal in life and ignores almost everything in favor of trying to fulfil that goal."

Keith -

"Speaks in a way that is seen as weird and has mannerisms others think is funny. He struggles with not being taken seriously by others because of this and many of the things others say goes over his head. He struggles to connect with other people because of these things. His entire arc in the second film is about him deciding that the people who don't accept him for who he is aren't worth it and that he's going to continue being himself."

Junpei -

"for other fans of this series, I know the more obvious representation here may be Luou, Junpei is So Good. his special interest is ballet and he has so many hangups involving how his family sees him and how other boys his age interpret him to the point that his idea of masculinity is extremely narrow and he enforces social rules on himself to mask and keep people from realizing that he loves something that Isn't Manly. he misinterprets social cues and takes things literally, like assuming that when Miyako asked him to dance with her she meant Right This Minute rather than as a pair in the studio. for some reason the point where he cuts his hair super short to prove his devotion to ballet is also sticking with me, I think maybe it's the combination of the way it's normal for boys/men in Japan to do that, yet Junpei didn't realize that kind of attitude/action didn't suit ballet at all? he wasn't aware that the context was completely different. Junpei also doesn't act or pretend very well, he's gotta put his whole entire ass into his roles, which he then proceeds to get TOO into and cause a lot of trouble, without giving too much away! he's really relatable to me as someone who's socially anxious but very skilled at masking, and seeing him become more comfortable with himself and start to show how he really feels is so inspiring to me."

Kazuma -

"He may be (wildly) misguided but his intentions are good kinda! He’s just the Guy of all time idk how to explain it."

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order-zerum · 6 months

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How Zerum Ends

Well, everyone, it's finally happened. The end of Discord Whooves has occurred so now I can talk about what Zerum is and where he was going.

I've said in the past that Zerum's timeline runs parallel to Discord Whooves' timeline, meaning both exist at the same time. And by this I mean events in Discord Whooves line up to the various things that happen to Zerum, starting from the start of both blogs. How this is happening?

Well, Zerum is supposed to be the discord curse in the Doctor's head. He's a literal virus infecting the Doctor's mind, planted there to keep him captive to Discord's influence. The ways you can line up events is through 4 various types of events.

1: Sex. Most of the times that sex occurs, is when The Doctor is overcome by his lust and goes on various sexapades. This doesn't ALWAYS line up, but it does for sure whenever Discord shows up for it.

2: The Light. The light occurs any time The Doctor becomes his old self, undiscorded. It's the glimpses of hope that we get that he's still there, deep down, and the light is a threat to Zerum because if the light stays on, the virus gets destroyed along with Discord's influence. The light's appearance remains consistent with the Doctor's blog, so this is the best way to keep track of where Zerum is in The Doctor's story. I was planning for the light to manifest as a cute creature so people would try to defend it which would ultimately cause more harm to Zerum because the light is basically antibodies.

Eventually the light was going to get so bad that it nearly kills Zerum, during the time that Twilight and Minuette helped the Doctor. Discord seems to have abandoned him but really he can't get in his head during that time.

3: The baby nightmares. These nightmares happen any time Hyde becomes active in The Doctor, and eventually the 'baby' who is actually The Valeyard breaks free of Zerum and escapes the mind prison.

4: Perry Doctor. After the point where Perry appears in Discord Whooves, any time The Doctor is sleeping Perry travels into his mind to interact with Zerum. Perry is a dream traveler, which is why he is able to do this.

Also, there is a reason Perry was able to reach him. Perry travels through the dreams of various ponies and beings, he is a dream traveler rather than a space/time traveler. He found Zerum by visiting his old self's dream, because Zerum is in Dissy's mind.

How was the blog supposed to end?

Eventually, Zerum was going to be able to be convinced to fight Discord when the light shows up and weakens him, and he manages to kill Discord. The event that causes him to have his change of mind is when Discord disguises himself as Perry and attempts to destroy their relationship after he discovered it. But Zerum manages to figure out it's not Perry, and Discord reveals himself. That's when the light returns and Zerum is able to kill him.

Of course, he's accepted that he'll die with Discord, and is ready to accept his fate... but Perry found a way to materialize a TARDIS in The Doctor's mind and rescue Zerum before it's too late.

Zerum is then brought into Perry's dreamscape, where he slowly learns to recover and gain a sense of self worth.

Zerum's cutie mark was going to change to represent his newfound freedom and the self love that he found with Perry's help.

So there you have it, you now know what Zerum's whole deal was, and where the story was meant to go.

This blog was extremely personal to me, and was an exploration of the trauma I had obtained from past abuse, both sexual and mental from horrible people in my past. For a long time I had unmedicated PTSD so this was the best way I could find to cope. The blog was meant to be shocking and to manipulate people into saying and requesting horrible things to feed into the abuse and put people in the place of the abuser, or those trying to help the abused. I'm happy to say while it started out pretty awful, after a while people were much more kind and wanting to help. It started from a very basic hypnosis kink idea, but then I got to wondering why it was a kink and if it was okay to be one. The blog itself wasn't meant as me being kinky, but me exploring 'why does this make me feel this way', and I was able to come to the conclusion that many abuse survivors have these kind of kinks because it gives them a sense of control in something they lost control over in the past. It's a safe way to explore a traumatizing experience, and their own way of having consent in exposing themselves to it. A lot of people assume people are getting turned on by the idea of being abusive, when in actuality most of us are putting ourselves in the victim's role. These are complex feelings but it gives us autonomy over our experiences. It doesn't mean we're turned on by being victims, or that we enjoyed what happened to us. It just means we want to have control over when we feel submissive and vulnerable. We're not 'sick fucks' who get turned on by the suffering of others, most of us would never want anyone to experience what we went through. But we want a safe space to come to terms with our feelings, to feel power in exploring a fantasy situation of powerlessness. This is a process that we need to cope with trauma, and it doesn't hurt anyone but the fictional characters we put ourselves into.

That said, I will be deleting all the posts of this blog besides this one, because it is much to sensitive to me and I've closed that chapter in my life. I don't want this series to be easily found or associated with my original works, so it's time to say goodbye to Zerum. I will leave the posts up for a month so people can read and see all the clues and how the story lines up with Discord Whooves, but after a month is up I will delete the rest of the blog and leave this post in its place.

Thank you all for following, and especially thank you to all who approached this story with understanding. I hope I helped people come to terms with their own traumas, or at least informed people more on what trauma is like.

#zerum #zerum whooves #discord whooves #spoilers

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7ndipity · 6 months

Text

Namjoon Breakup Headcanons

Namjoon x Reader

Warnings: angst, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to @nonenasblog for this request! More breakup headcannons, bc apparently y’all like to suffer, lol!

Masterlist

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Joon’s a slightly contradictory personality. Similar to Yoongi, despite being a bit of an idealist, he tends to ignore certain issues in the hopes that they’ll sort themselves out in time.

He really wants a relationship in theory, but he also desperately craves his freedom and space. Which is perfectly understandable, but there’s a thin line between giving each other space and creating distance.

The flip side of this is when he gets upset about you not being there when he needs/wants you, even though you also have your own life and responsibilities.

It’s at this point you’d start to realize that you don’t exactly have a life ‘together’, but rather two lives running parallel to each other with occasionally intersecting tracks.

This is likely the point where he’s lost other relationships in the past, so I think he’d panic once he realizes and tries to fix things before it’s too late; both of you making more time for each other, actually talking to each other throughout the day, rather than just the brief conversations before bed, basically just putting in the effort that you’d been somewhat avoiding before.

Things would get better for a while, but just because you’re closer doesn’t mean the little things from before don’t continue to pile up.

Y’all don’t necessarily try to start fights with each other, but he has such a strong tendency towards passive aggression when something’s bothering him, I think it would be inevitable.

(Which is ironic bc he’s always going on about how important communication is, but then he’s kinda shit about it in practice.)

The two of you would be very on and off for a while, there’s several big fights and close calls, but they’re always just ‘breaks’, not ‘breakups’.

Ultimately though, I think things would end really quietly. No yelling, no fighting, just the two of you coming to the agreement that whatever you had wasn’t working.

Oddly enough, you honestly get along better after the breakup.

I could see him being friends with an ex, but things would have to end really well, and even then I think it would still be slightly awkward from time to time.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

#namjoon headcanons #namjoon scenarios #namjoon scenario #namjoon angst #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x reader #bts headcanons #bts scenarios #bts requests #bts reaction #bts reactions #bts x y/n #bts x reader #bts angst #7ndipity

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cherrsnut · 4 months

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Hostage - Chapter 5

Finnick Odair x Healer!Reader

Summary: Up until now, your life has been a solitary one. Being the sole owner of an herbal shop, and apothecary to many fishermen who have been injured. Just when your life seemed to follow the routine you were so used to, your life turns a 360 when you’re suddenly taken away for the 67th Annual Hunger Games. This turn of events forces you to accept the idea the Grim Reaper is stalking close behind you, faster than you had hoped for.

Tags: Extremely Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, Angst, Typical THG Violence, Forced Prostitution, Forced Lab Rat, Injury, Mental Health Deterioration, Psychological/Physical Torture, Death, Alcohol/Drug Consumption, Medical Malpractice, Fluff (bc they deserve it).

Word Count: 15.4 k

Previous // Next

Chapter 5

You tried to ignore the buzzing pain of your head, but it was close to impossible, and you were far from being able to leave behind the awful feeling. Each buzz was burning another nerve cell into calcination, and each time without fail, earned you a stinging flinch. It was exactly the same as the typical insects under the scorching summer weather back home, in District 4. Those little biting monsters were truly the epitome of persistent, and it made them extra worse when they seemed to follow you around until you satiated their hunger at your expense, which consisted of those itchy neverending biting marks along your skin.

You rushed through the sensory doors, and looked around the salon in need of urgent explanations.

Everyone you had seen the day before were there, all in their usual forms. Vito and Finnick were wearing clothes from a fabric that screamed the expensive taste of the Capitol’s citizens. Scarlett was the one who was flauting her clothing style more though. The two men were simply one colored shirts, green and white, with the natural material of sheep’s wool that was tinted black, with the few details for the botton’s up that Vito was wearing.

Scarlett on the other hand was wearing a garnet long sleeved top, and just like the very same day you met her, her shoulders were on display. The only way the shirt could hold itself, you speculated, was from its thigh hold it had on the voluptuous skin from her breasts and abdomen. The line of the red textile run along the lower part of her shoulder, to the beginning of where her breasts started, only to finalize its race to the other shoulder in parallel height with the with one.

She accompanied that with a pale-like yellowish colour long skirt of cotton. And with the brief encounter you had with her, you were surprised to having found her wearing a much simpler outfit. Her makeup followed her simplicity, red dark lipstick and a pair of eyeshadows that was only eye catching because of the colour, that exactly matched with her tinted lips.

Everyone was sitting down by the large table, the Avox girl standing with a metallic tray weighing down of her hands. She was serving breakfast, fried eggs with a side of some sausages and hot baked beans.The girl all in red had stopped in her tracks slightly to the incoming guest, but after finding you she deemed you not important enough to stop her from performing her task.

Your sight came in contact with the view of the table, with many vases with drinks from water to many types of juice mixes, like strawberry with banana, and grape with apple. And of course, Scarlett’s absolute favourite had to be there, English tea and neatly placed next to it was another cup with many sugarcubes.

“Finally, you’re awake! I was about to send someone to come pick you up!” Scarlett said, and it oddly felt like she was reprimanding you for waking up later than she’d be pleased with. In that very moment though, you couldn’t even think of the words that came out of her mouth. The pain from the side of your head, only seemed to grow thicker and stronger by the minute, and you felt yourself not paying attention to anything until that was resolved.

“Can someone tell me just what happened to my face?” you demanded a valid explanation of your new bruised area. Your voice was strong. The pain had been the one to rise you from your sleep, and it instantly woke you from your fuzzy mind with a boost of pained energy.

Your plea sounded more like frustrating anger had crept its way out of your tongue. You squinted your eyes and flinched again. The bursting pain from the side of your head was not holding back, and in fact doubled it burning effect.

The way you woke up was everything but proudful. Your eyes had suddenly woken up at the burning sensation that covered your whole face. You had expected it from to be the huge hangover from participating in the drinking match of the night before, and your suspicions following a valid lead when you found yourself not remembering much from your encounter with Finnick. So when you went back to the nostalgic bathroom to clean your features up, because you knew you weren’t going to be looking your best, a huge purple bruise appeared at the side of your forehead, and that's when you decided to come running to the salon car.

At the sound of your voice, Vito’s heart rushed in culpability. The night before, he stayed in his room awake for a few more hours, still in his empty trance while his blood run cold. Every living second was a plea he was making to whoever to grant him the wish of letting him come out alive, and soon return to his family. He understood your words, and the inner voice of his mind kept repeating him that you were right, that he needed to come back for the sake of his sisters, and to stop his father from encouraging his much younger siblings into believing the Hunger Games was some sort of competition of proud victors between Districts.

He would lie if he said he didn’t want to live, in fact he was terrified at the idea of dying. He didn’t want to die under the harsh arena, and that thought came crumbling back to you. Because if it meant he lived, you were going to die, and there was no compromise he could do change that outcome.

He meant those words from last night; you were definitely more important. There weren’t many doctors back in District 4, at least not as manny as there should.

And that hurt more, having to choose between his own selfish desire or the good of the injured men by the port. The logic in his brain told him the answer, but the idealistic side of him pretended to come up with excuses to take away your life, and make your death less detestable for his soul. But he knew that was simple a fantasy. And he solemnly was accepting the idea of letting go of his own life, so yours could be properly used into helping others.

His eyes crossed to the disturbing colour from your bruise, and flinched just as he could feel the pain by just having seen it. Scarlett gasped in horror at the piece of art of your face, very much loudly and with her exaggerated undertone, that could lead anyone to believe she had for the very first time seen an art canvas filled with the very real representation of war, and finding out for the first time about the big tragedy that carried that short word.

She didn’t give you much time to think though, because she came running down to inspect your skin decoloration. Her careful gloved fingers caressed your jaw and tilted it up, so her tall figure could inspect it further with the professional eyes of Capitol’s refined delicate perception..

“Oh. My. God. What happened?” she demanded the very same answer, you wanted to satiate your dismayed pure confusion running along the veins of your brain. Still astonished as to how this could have happened in the first place.

The tip of her nail slightly brushed past the outside of your bruised head, which earned you gurgled grunt from the explosive pain, that pulsated like the vibrations of an early volcano eruption.

You looked at her, your murderous glare turned your pupil icy red as a warning of your pure hostility. If you could, although it would’ve definitely been looked down upon, you would have put into use your aggressive energy to break her fingers in that very instant, so she would never have the unpleasentry of having to disturb anyone’s bruises again.

“OW! Don’t touch it!” you groaned in the fiery fury from the pure idiocy of your escort. Your hand came in crashing to your head, almost as if protecting it from the unexpected attack. You weren’t surpsried the bruise had become scalding hot in that very instant.

Finnick face contorted in pain just like Vito had done earlier. It was no stranger to him the sight and pain from those nasty bruises he constantly got while working with his family and training to become a fighter. So when he centred his eyes on the pained area, he got the full view of the severity of the visible lump that was forming on the side of your head. It was only purple on the outside, like those outer ripples from a disturbed still lake. But the inside was the true main character of your agony. It was in a mix of both pale green and yellow, and it didn’t convince him in the slightest if someone was trying to persuade him into thinking you were alright, especially not when those colours reminded him of dried off cod fish, its putrid smell indicating him it was far past its edible stage.

But he also felt somewhat guilty in being slightly amused by seeing your situation plan out. Afterall, he was present from last night’s affair. One where he was the sole witness of the unecesarry assault that the bathroom tiles had done to you. Although, if he thought about it carefully, it was your charging body collapsing to the floor that made the tiles rightfully defend themselves in the form of a nasty blow to your head.

A frustrating sigh escaped between you teeth, although it very much sounded like a little whine when you exhaled your breath. You closed your eyes and moved away from Scarlett, unable to give her a second chance to redeem herself from her unforgivable action.

Your feet made quick work with your desperate mind. And soon, you found yourself by the kitchen counters, wondering where the hell where the medical supplies. The hundreds of cupboards stacked were already confusing your mind that was slowly recuperating itself. You coudn’t help but think just how you were in this very situation when you made that very bad decision-making from last night, when your where hunting down after that white wine bottle.

You turned to the Avox who was simply standing two feet away from you, her head hunged low with her usual somber expression. You needn’t think twice about your biggest desire in that moment.

“Get me a medical kit” another grunt escaped your very mouth. You squinted your eyes in pain, before fully closing them altogether as a failed attempt to wash off even just if was the slightest amount of pain.

Since Scarlett decision on touching the sensitive area of your skin, a move that could only be considered as genius, the pulsating waves spread throughout your body, the ripples of pain got further and further away, and danced in the same rhythm as your heart beating organ. It was a horrible migraine, which only worsened your hungover. You bet the heat radiation from your forhead would be equal to that of a life threatening fever. Just my luck.

Scarlett on the other hand was having some sort of existential crisis in the background. You already felt personally annoyed by her, so you coudn’t blame your mistreated brain from wanting to unconsciously turn to look at her, to have many more reasons as to why you were irked by her very presence. But you denied that passing thought. Because you knew the moment you’d deviate your attention to her tantrum, all stemming from her fear of the judgy stares from the public of the Capitol. An emotional outburst over your displayed physical beauty, and not from the deaths that was going transpire soon; you knew you’d have an additional migraine on top of all the head aches you were suffering. And you weren’t the type to indulge yourself in masochism.

You flinched your already closed lashes further down, so much so the corner of your eyes made wrinkles from the excess of muscle use, still hoping this would help in some way or another in slowing the burning away. Every single curse floated in the inner depths of you mind, making sure to bite your bottom lip as to not let any of the words slip away in the breeze and into the ears of everyone present. But it was made difficult when you had an angering comment just on the tip of your tongue, to reprimand the Avox from her extremely slow pace, so much so, it seemed she was doing it on purpose.

Vito appeared in your eyesight, just as you were blessing the Sea Gods when the girl in red uniform finally placed the medical kit next to you on the kitchen counter. She then disappeared somewhere in the room, as to not let herself known and disturb the lively train ride that was occurring in that very moment.

Vito’s tanned hands, one that were full of scars, that anyone with a deep understanding in open wounds, such as yourself, could tell were from working with very sharp blades. He opened up the box, which contents you considered as your life saviours.

His charcoal eyes moved to you for a second, before going back to rummaging through the white box until he found what he was looking for. He knew just which remedies to use for this type of bruises, like he had gone through the same type of injuries many times before. You guessed it came from the depressing context from his family teachings and disturbing perception of the Hunger Games.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it” he reassured you. His tone was consoling, and you obeyed the hidden meaning of just staying put, and let him help with with your headache.

You could feel your soul scream in a cheering manner as his paled scarred fingers wrapped around the yellow cream you had been so desperately waiting to find. The distressing pain almost bolted, the soon realization you’d fight back against its merciless tirany, with clear determination to stop further physical hurt from happening in that moment.

The contents where nothing but a splurg of white, very thick and sticky against his poinyy finger, creating a big circuled blob against it.

Vito looked at you momentarily, his eyes concentrated in carrying out his task. He repeated most of Scarlett’s previous actions, afterall he was smart enough not to make the silly mistake to touch the injury point blank, only doing it with the gently applied cream of his finger for the burning that was forming a lump on the side of your forehead.

His dried fingers brushed past, walking against the bone of your jaw, to hold it by the sharp corner near your ear of your jawline. It was so lightly, but its presence was still aching for your attention to notice his slender fingers. He tilted your head up, earning him better access to the big bruised area he surprised himself, finding it much bigger what what he had anticipated earlier. His transparent body gave away what his soul was thinking, and by the look Vito was making, you knew it would take up days for the bruise to fully heal.

His close inspecting eyes were too focused on the task he had placed on his own shoulders. However in that moment, your head could only spin at the high temperatures it was reaching. It surpassed and defied the limit if your body heat, and you had to, for the very first time, question Edna’s nursing book she had given you barely two weeks after you had been placed under her wing.

You closed your eyes. His features where very much close to yours. The proximity made you rather uncomfortable for your liking. He was probably used to this type of closeness growing up three younger sisters. But all the years alone made you withdrawn from this type of human contact. Afterall, its not like you had anyone to practice this tense claustrophobia-like feeling. Which only worsened when your realized, his arm had unknowingly made its way onto the counter to lean his weight against, and find stability to get proper reach of his taget, all for the sake of your bruise. Which only worsened your claustrophobia anxiety as it felt exactly like you were being trapped in a confined space.

That only distracted you a little from the pain. You realized, because as soon as that thought entered the cage of your mind, the heat of the innerworks of the churning volcano, in full crusty magma energy, ready to burst out at any moment hurt your brain again. Its core from the purple nasty coloured bruise.

You ignored the warm breath of Vito that was tickling your nose, when the bruising cream made contact with your sensitive pained area. The freezing cream explored all the way of the ice, having the volcano-like feeling, and you amused yourself further with the thought of the cold overtaking the radiant magma. The silent cold spoke bigger words with its actions, as it rapidly wiped out and froze every fury rage from your lump, into a never ending winter season. Its daily forecast seemed to have a threatening snowstorm, and you were finally glad your full bruise’s violent kingdom had come to an end. That amazing feeling run on every vein and cell, its refreshing sweet frozen rush swam across your body like a vase of pure cold slush.

Your features relaxed every muscles in delight, and Vito smiled up at your relieved face.

“Feels nice, huh?” he asked, although he already knew the answer. His tone had become a tone lower from the closeness from the two of you. Your mind was still feeling that cold rush sedating feeling, from pain’s punctuating reach. The relaxed irises of your form opened and moved to meet his, and to his question your responded with a weak smile hanging from your features. It was evident to anyone in the room, that Vito was the person whom you had bigger affinity over.

“Thanks” you said in the same husky tone as his. He grinned wider at your confirmation.

There was a moment of silence. Vito's creeping thoughts was slowly coming back to haunt him. He’d mean to come and help you as an excuse to talk to you again. He still had a sour taste in his mouth from the way he screamed at you last night, something it nailed his brain in self agony as the train traveled through the stillness of the night.

“Hey, about yesturday…” he started, picking up your quick attention to him. You weren’t mad, not after everything that had transpired before you went to sleep. Your argument with Vito would have been long forgotten if he hadn’t mentioned it.

The inside of your skull had a million puzzle pieces missing, and now that your burning was cooling down at the nice friction from the cream, you were desperately trying to find the void gaps of your memory puzzle from last night.

“I’ve been thinking what you said to me” his voice had become weaker. You were glad at the very least you remembered the dispute well enough to understand the point he wanted to make.

“Yeah… ?” you dragged the word out, the intonation very much asking the question as to finding out whether he had changed his mind or not. It seemed unlikely though, not even a day having passed to properly process your argumentative point. And it seemed hard to think he had enough time to break it down and to analyze the pieces behind your reasoning, and to fully comprehend them. But then again, its not like you had willingly done it for him either, and thus your doubt about his possible mind change.

The words got stuck in his throat. He admired you then, just how freely you could say those sacrificing words without a hint of poison gurgling up at the back of your tongue. He thought then, that maybe you had that pessimistic thought for a while know, the idea and acceptance of your own death in the cruelest way possible. But what he had failed to realize is that you still haven't accepted it fully. Your body and soul still lingered onto that thread of hope for you to come out alive, it still put your hair straight on end at the idea from the many ways you could die. And you were sure it would defenitely be more painful than the headache you were feeling, which seemed silly if you compared the two together.

And yet his voice retreated back into the pit of his stomach. He just coudn’t say the words without a hard struck feeling that squeezed his neck, as if it rejected and plead to overthink over that self-destructing idea. The mind worked very similarly to everyone’s head, it’s purpose to self-protect one-self was the last thing to linger before you had successfully torn your soul apart, and Vito found it increasingly difficult to say the words of his own sacrifice. But you were looking at him, expectant as to what he wanted to say.

“I still haven’t changed my mind” he opted. And it helped him in his emotional turmoil. He internally sighed, and was grateful he could voice the stubborn decision with a change of a few words.

You looked up at him. You knew he wasn’t going to agree with you so soon, but somehow his very stone hard deciding words, the one spoken from a tone that let you know there was nothing that you could do to change his mind, left you with a dumbfounded look in your eyes. With one of your eyebrows slightly trembling, perplexed at his decided thoughts that left no room from a second opinion, aka, your opinion.

“Vito I swear to Go-” you started, the voice very evident on your annoyed stance. But you remained limited on that level of frustration, you didn’t want it to surpass it like last nights’ after-dinner event. Still, you gave him an unpleasant look.

But he cut you off before you could go on and repeat the same words from before, because Vito had already heard you loud and clear. He simply just didn’t fully agree with them, not when he stubbornly thought your extended existence would be of greater benefit.

“Know, that I accept that part of protecting you, though.” His voice got lounder in self confidence, and you could swear there was an amusing tone hidden behind those white teeth of his. You looked at him, your mouth still open ajar before he could let you finish.

Your eyes announced his betrayal by not letting you speak your mind, so you recomposed your body, getting on a more straightened pose. Your features formed into an evident silent scowl. Maybe five seconds had passed from your unpleasant glare, resting your eyelids so your eyes looked smaller, but the pupil were charged with incessant energy.

And suddenly, your suspicions got confirmed. Vito let out a chuckle that felt very much a mock at your persona. His eyes got back to yours after he had cheekily escaped the grasp of your gaze, and he had the audacity to plaster a victorious small smile on his lips, a smirk. Fucking bastard.

You opened your mouth to retort something back, but the man well known as the Capitol’s Darling interrupted both of your banter. You looked at your right, and found Finnick leaning over the beige paper wall, too simple for the Capitol’s luxury you thought, but you weren’t the type to get easily judgemental over physical things like that, so you let that slide.

His bronze hair shined along the sun’s light that transmitted across the window. He was looking at the both of you after having called both of your names. He made a quick gesture, pointing at what laid beyond the moving picture of the transparent crystal. His crossed arms unwrapped themselves as his eyes returned at the two of you again. And with an amused small smile he spoke. “Looks like we’ve arrived at the Capitol”.

The way you had been welcomed to the Capitol was… interesting to say the least. You didn’t see much of the Hunger Games, especially since Edna was one of the few people of District 4 that hadn’t made you believe it was some sort of proud rivalry between Districts , but rather a death game that tried to disguise itself as a sport competition. Although, it definitely resembled that of Hunting Competitions, this version though, the weak players were the hunted trophy of the Careers, and you were sure you’d be categorised as their prey once they had seen your skills, or better said lackoff.

However, you were surprised when they had led you into a completely painted milky walls, everything was void of any colour, which already felt out of order from the Capitol’s hyper fixation with “bringing life” to their purchased items. And before you knew it, you were carried to your Prep Team station.

You shoudn’t have been surpsried in the slightest. You considered your brain to be level headed and sane, something you coudn’t help but wonder just how have the people in the Capitol been so rewired into believing the Hunger Games were “fun”. So your little brain coudn’t grasp their further audacity. It wasn’t enough they were essentially forcing you to die out at the arena with other adolescents, many of them being children that could have had a fulfilling life. So you knew your appalled features were justified. But in addition, they had to beautify you, all in Capital standards of course. You had seen some of the clothing styles of past Tribute Parades, and they had been questionable, to say the least. Many were simple outrageous costumes, a silly representation, and not the deserved recognition of hard work we put in to fuel their food, clothes and luxurious lifestyles. We were like a freak show to them, to smile and laugh at our expense. Which only worsened your nauseating feeling of your hungover.

But nothing could beat your experience with your assigned Prep Team. They had properly washed your every corner, stripped away of any black heads that was stuck in the pores of your nose, had applied moisturizing cream that could’ve easily have been originated from the slime of the snails, waxing every part that deemed “too much hair” to be ladylike, and of course, brushing off the wild split ends of your hair you hadn’t bothered to care enough to deal with for some months now.

You shoudn’t have been surprised at all, that and their snobby attitude towards you. Of course you would be deemed dirty from the get go, looking down at you as they coudn’t comprehend as to why you woudn’t take care of your appearance, ignorant of the simple fact that you were coming from a working District, of course you wouldn't prioritize boosting your physical attractiveness over keeping yourself alive.

Still, you hoped the good relationship with District 4 would give you some sort of better treatment, considering it came from a Career District. Unfortunately, you were dully disappointed. Your Prep Team coudn’t help but give you a snide eye occasionally, like you smelled like dead fish that had been dried by the shore from disgusting muddy water. Totally unaware of the fact, that the very delicate three star michelin dishes ingredients, mostly come from the sea surrounding District 4. I wonder if they know where their fish and seafood comes from…

Although you assigned stylist was nice nice enough. She was very young and petite, coming across, at least five years younger than her actual age. She was squealing constantly at the sight of your presence, once her eyes had roamed and anylysed your body whole. A playful smile decorated her lips just as she was repeating her excited words to be working with a Tribute of District 4.

Apparently her brother was a Peacekeeper stationed in your homeland, always sending her many sea shells, of all sorts of sizes and colours. But what she absolutely loved the most was the thick fragrance of the ocean that never left them.

“I had to do some last minute changes” Athena said. “Scarlett let me know you were a Healer, and couldn't help myself but change some of the decorum for you, and only you” she later added.

You coudn’t slip in any words into the conversation. Her lively and energetic persona made her social engine be filled with a never ending fuel, which for her downside, would be in the need to cough from time to time, to fill up her air ways with oxygen.

You found her endearingly adorable, she was a nice break from the hard hitting reality. She was definitely the type of person you could spend talking, or not, for many hours. Giving you a chance to restore your sanity back into its usual normal. A drop of melancholy splattered to the pit of your belly, you would’ve liked to have met her in different circumstances, although you weren’t sure if that could even happen, being apart by many kilometers of territory, and in between Districts. She was those type of people you’d end up surprising yourself in getting along. And you’d later wonder in those three a.m hours, just how many more people you would have ended up, unexpectedly building up a friendship with, but can’t due to the fact you both are so far away from each other.

It was time to meet back with the Prep Team, and you weren’t prepared for the second most isolating and tense situation you had been in, the first one being the Reaping by far. The Prep Team of Hell, you had titled them, and that was being generous.

The very first thing they did once you had sat down, was comment about the bruise in your forehead. To be fair, they had already mentioned it earlier when they were exfoliating your skin, asking you as to how it happened in the first place, and many disappointed sighs running after your made up a quick convincing enough excuse.

The moment their focus was on your face, to turn you into a beautiful swan, or how Athena had put it, they were running their mouth at an uncontrollable speed, and there was no sign they seemed to want to hit their brakes.

“Distusting thing” was their recurring comment. And soon enough it had become a term to refer to your purpuled bruise; like it was a completely separate entity from yourself, like it wasn’t attached to you in that very moment. It wasn’t a great feeling, having someone make not so passive, but very much aggressive remarks about your physical appearance. It made you feel worse because it didn’t come from a personal choice, but it was rather from an accident. Something that was out of your own control, only for them to keep their judgement louder.

“God, its so dark. Its gonna take ages the get rid off it” the one with especially thick long eyelashes said, while her makeup brush pigmented your face. You looked at yourself in the mirror. Two were on either side of you, taking care of your face to bright it up with vibrant colours, while the other was brushing her fingers through the scalp of your head, readying herself to make the hairstyle she had been ordered to do.

You were in awe at the sheer magnitude of the so many little vases of skin colours, an even wider range of colours you had to guess were for painting your lips, and, if that was even possible, even more colours in the form of light flowing powder stacked inside transparent thin boxes.

“I better get a recommendation card to a film studio after this. Cuz, I refuse to put hard extra work into nothing” said the man with curled dark blue hair, his words coming stomping on your face as he was curling up your lashes with black tint.

The ginger with a bob cut, the hairstylist that was finishing up the hair strands that fell onto your shoulders, sneered and made a passing comment. “If one day I woke up with that thing, I’d just stay at home, honestly. No need to embarrass myself like that”

However in the end everything turned alright, you supposed. It definitely topped your list of most awkward experiences you’d been in so far. It was always tough being in that sort of situation. Having to walk into a room timidly, scared and confused of what’s going to happen to you, only to have three pricks to have something negative to say about you. Even when they didn’t know your on a personal level, they were still against you for whatever reason.

Once you finally left, you shook your shoulders in an attempt to brush off every single passive aggressive comment, along with their judgmental eyes and sneers that had nothing else smart to contribute further, but to agree with them and their saliva-poison to fill and infest the insecurities you hadn’t thought of to be a problem to begin with.

Maybe it was lowering yourself to their ugly mindset. But the moment the pained hurt from embarrassment made its way to form little prickly tears in your eyes, you reminded yourself that the citizens of the Capitol were nothing but vacant lots, void of any deep emotion. In desperate need to fill their empty hearts with superficial things. Their atacking words may work here, but back in District 4, you knew they would be the laughing stock for having such a mediocre way of thinking while the rest were simply trying to survive.

However they made you feel was soon going to going to be lost anyway. Trying to catch up to you through the breeze, in desperate anguish as its pointy nails tried to reach back to your mind, just as it started realizing they weren’t going to have a prominent role within the depth of your memories.

Your fingers were slightly holding onto the chariot. Now, you were more confident of letting it slightly go, having positioned your feet and body weight to adapt to the power of the white horses pulling you.

As soon as it had pulled onto the platform, your feet made a clumsy movement and almost feel out of the nicely decorated white charriot. It was your quick receptive hand that quickly took a hold onto the smooth surface of the cockpit to stabilize yourself, before you would been rather aggressively be flown out a few feet away behind you. Leaving you behind as the show went on accordingly, and they woudn’t have stopped only for your miscalculated thinking. You also thanked Vito for being at your side, his hand wrapped around the back of you waist and took a hold of it. Applying so much force so you would have fallen off, and in the off chance you could’ve hurt yourself… again.

Your retina reflected back the explosion of colours that engulfed you whole. There were hundreds, no, thousands of expectators of the high society of Panem, properly welcoming you into their home of the Capitol. They were screaming and cheering at the sight of all the Tributes, throwing paper shaped symbols of each District into senseless air currents bursting in different directions. It slowly came back down to your peripheral vision, floating and dancing through the air currents that each carriage made. So small it carried out its second task dutifully, as a means to congratulate this worthy of a celebration day, and to throw away their money on merchandising for this very event in the form of confetti.

You could have been revolted at this very sight. People with born privilege, so far up their ass to even care about the harm their were causing on other human beings. And its not like you were on a different continents either, so you coudn’t understand as to why the close proximity of the territories coudn’t at the very least fill them up with some sort of empathy.

But in that very moment, all that putrid feeling disappeared. The gnawing of your heart could only look further at your own surroundings, your scanning eyes curiously looked every single Capitol citizen your passing view could get a hold to. Oddly, there was something so fulfilling about the way they were welcoming you, something that left you stunned and almnost petrified. You were like a little kid, going to its annual town fair for the very first time, curiously wanting to see everything they had to offer, from rollercoaster attractions to winning prize stands. You were simply an awe, every frequenting solemn thought disappeared in that moment, and you internalized that moment of pretty colours around you. At the very least, you weren’t in your depressed form, and you wanted to distract yourself further, even if it was for a little bit. You wanted to remember this scene, even if they were going to only be bite sized memories.

Vito squeezed your hand suddenly to gain your attention. He moved his head, a gesture to point at the several screens, that laid hanging at the high ceiling. They were were in paralleled pairs, and some rows behind them that followed that exact pattern, each one for a Districts Tribute and their partner. You saw Vito through the monitor, him looking down at you. And the screen beside it was you, or a version you coudn’t recognize of yourself.

You could only see the portrait of you, but that was sufficient to note on the magnificent work the Prep Team of Hell had done to you. Even when you didn’t want to admit it after their unlikeble attitude, you understood why they had been picked to style you for this grand event.

They had successfully gotten rid of the purple bruise without leavin traces behind it, impossible to see that you might have had it to begin with. They placed longer lashes on your eyes, however it wasn't exaggerated like the Capitol’s beauty standards. It made the the corner of your eyes seem similar of the wings of a dove. Your lips had been painted white, with a slight tint of blue powder mixed with one of a golden sun.

The hairstylist hadn’t failed either. The many strands of hair were all wrapped up in beautiful knotted updo, leaving you with a clear face everyone was able to see. In addition, to give you a more pure outlook, many hand made chrysanthemum flowers pierced through your strands like hair pins. There were many flowers stems there, so much so it was like a bouquet a the purest white of the chrysanthemum, that was neatly placed by the nape of your head. Some of the petals were flying away into the wind from the force, but it created an interesting look on you, like a girl who was wearing the wings of freedom, like a girl who tamed the oceanic winds of District 4.

You looked back at Vito. He gave you a small reassuring smile, before speaking some words you weren’t able to hear by the loud of the immense optimistic crowd. He repeated again, coming closer to you. You took that moment to see his moving lips, trying to read off what he wanted to say to you. You managed in one word, and you only needed that to understand the plan he wanted to share with you. “Sponsors”

You gave a determined pointed look. Tangling further your fingers into his, finding a comfortable pose before you showed your hands for the world to see. A demonstration of both of your corageous hearts, a witten meaning that the both of you woudn’t back down without a fight. The sneaky smile appeared on both and your faces through the big monitors, earning you the desired outcome of the cheers that had become joyful screams of praise and encouragement.

This year, District 4 woudn’t miss the triumphal proud looks of the fighters, the recurring yearly message that you’d gladly participate in the hard stones of the arena without a hint of fear in your eyes. This was for display of course, but you woudn’t feel guilty about lying your true crumbling emotions. You were still trying to figure out if they really believed anything that you’d give them; but it didn’t matter, in the end all they wanted to see was your performance, and to make them forget about their empty souls. And you heard their silent plea, the show must go on.

Vito tilted his head to look up at the screen that was live streaming across each forgotten corner of Panem. He knew his dad would be looking at him through the television of the plaza. He gave a smirk at him, not from playfulness, with a much pessimistic context and background roaming on his head.

“Is this what you wanted?” was the thought that came across his mind. He wished he could see his father, he hoped at the very least he’d be smiling at him proudly. After many years of his usual scowl directly at him, for Vito’s expressed disinterest for the Games. He at the very least hoped his dad would be looking at him proudly. Because this was all that he could provide in return for their familial pride.

You on the other hand, hadn’t taken notice of his sour mood. You looked at the screen again, instead of the closeup pictures of both of your faces, they were displaying the heart-warming act of delighted ilusion that the both showed with proud perception.

An idea popped in your head, if they wanted this you supposed a little flirty action coudn’t hurt. You looked up ahead, just where President Snow’s figure was increasingly becoming bigger and more clearer.

With a shy smile, you placed the tip of your cold fingers by the base of your lips. With a swift movement you gave a small peck, and through your hand, you gave the Capitol the little present of your actions. The corners of your lips increased cheekily hearing the roar of the crowd, the blowing of you kiss curated their hyper consumistic heart, filling them up with another type of love that superficial wants coudn’t satiate. Even if it didn’t come from a place of genuine love, they still felt satisfactory with nothing else other than playful desire.

Both of your’s and Vitos attire matched each other, even when the two had distinct changes between them. It made sense, what the stylists were looking for, at least the ones assigned for your District. Your gown was that of the colours that reminded you of your home. A corset-like top squeezed your lungs tightly, leaving the lines of your breast more squashed and with that lovely round form, the rest of your chest was exposed, showing off the attractive images of your free neck and arms. Although your arms weren’t totally naked, they had a piece of clothing attached to your tricep, in a golden bracelet. The long solitary pieces of cloth waved down in a zigzag pattern, the length running down to meet at the distance of your shoes, that laid hidden away from your skirt. It was laced and finished with a golden thread, giving it a more luxurious outlook.

Your skirt was the eye catching essence of your dress. Upon many light layers of clothing, it smartly casted darker shadows of blue by the bottom of the dress. The top, where the beginning of the skirt hugged the bottom arch of your waist, was more of a shiny sky blue. Like the visual representation of the sea levels, from the shiniest to the darkest of the sea bed.

The uneven layers were light, so much so it flied with the wind that caused the carriage, moving and floating through the air, almost like signalling the upcoming waves of an incoming tempest.

Your form was trapped within, like some sort of sea ententy that had resurcaed from the unforgiving sea lands, all coverend in specks of blue like dripping water was what that engulfed your form.

An added item that coudn’t come uncouted for was the little transparent wings stuck out from both you and Vito’s back. Making a direct representation, not only for the fishing industry that Disctrit 4 exhaled at, but also for it exotic fishes that came through the summer. The wings were exactly the same as the exocetids, or better known at the flying fish of the sea.

Just like the hair decorum, your dress was filled with that of chrysanthemum flowers, the flowing petals were being carried away by the currents, and the festive confetti. The smell resulted so familiar as you thought Athena’s earlier words, “last minute changes”. You smiled at the memory, chrysanthemum were known to have many healing properties, so much so it seemed your clients had grown dependent of Edna’s recipe. It was used to fight back many daily pains, such as dizziness and headaches; fever and colds for the fishermen who stayed until late at night under the starry sea night sky. It was even used to treat the beginning of complex diseases such as chest pains from angina, high blood pressure that was starting to become chronic, as well as Type 2 Diabetes. She had hit the jackpot.

Vito’s suit was similar in colour coordination. A button up shirt from a light blue, to his trousers that had gradually become darker as navy blue. Although he experienced other differences, by his neck hanged a rope that hanged down to attach itself to the white corset holding onto his waist. The rope was that of a thin brown colour, wrapping itself in braids of knots the experienced fishermen of District 4 would not struggled to accomplish.

That was your separating factor. Athena along Vito’s stylist decided to make a more unique overall look from the other Tributes, because their designes weren’t just the representation of your homeland, but also a brief display at both of your roles in town. That change of philosophy is what made you two rise into a more higher position along the likeability of the sponsors. Because you weren’t just Tributes from District 4, you both were more than that, not just annual sacrifices, but rather normal people with emotions, hopes and fears. And that simple change made the higherups feel closer to you on a personal level.

You were baring your teeth out into the biggest smile you could muster, the one you had trained yourself to seem friendly for the clientele of the apothecary shop. One that you had perfected it so it would be convincing enough within the barrier of stranger to stranger relationship.

And soon enough, you were glad both of your focus had disappeared. And for a moment a drizzle prickled down cold drops to your heart, but you quickly took care of it, and ignored it altogether.

You were only left greedy because you never had that much attention to begin with. So before you went out to seek for it, you’d shut it down as a simple momentary want, and not an important necessity.

“Welcome” started President Snow at the altar, his pragmatic way of speaking, very much trained to voice at any given moment. You coudn’t quite see him, being so far up, and you found yourself not being able to see clearly his features, and especially not the pin of the white rose that was stuck to his chest, like it was some sort of national emblem of Panem.

“Tributes, we welcome you”

“We salute your courage and your sacrifice” he followed his speech. And just as if he just proclaimed his sudden change of the current systematic oppression, like he had just announced he’d donate and free Panem from hunger and thirst, as well as unchain the District's handcuffs to the Capitol. The crowd of many coloured important guest, shouted in joyful fun at the devastating words you had to obligate yourself but slowly reconcile with them within the short time span of your Reaping.

You looked at Vito, and he slowly moved his gaze to meet yours. You silently agreed with each other. Maybe the two of you should have shared that nauseating thought, disgusted from the their putrid smell that came from their rotten mind. The both of you were slowly getting used to that though. But rather, his irises spoke the poem of a standing family waiting for their little soldier to come back home from war, and yours sang a ballad of a goner that still held onto that thread of hope, even when she had lost everything.

“And we wish you-” Snow’s words echoed through the Parade's hallway in the absence of silence, that the Capitol seemed to quiet down once their leader wanted add a few more words in.

Coryolanus Snow smiled at his audience, that awaited patiently at his next words. He looked at at the Tributes, and you swore he lingered his eye contact on your eyes for far longer than he should’ve.

“Happy hunger Games” the burst of his voice resonated the way a bigger smile quirked the corners of his mouth, not from delight, but finding great pleasure of his unnerving malicious intent from the creation of the Hunger Games. Resentment was only a piece of the puzzle of the great painting behind his reasoning of the death scheme. He wouldn’t compromise with anyone who pointed his way of thinking as simple bitterness or indignation, he was never the type to act when his emotions were still burning bright in its aggressive nature. But rather internally boasted himself in the way he had a more cold calculated view of his plans, like the forming icicles inside the deep maze-like subterranean icy caves. Or more accurately, like the slow snowflakes within the stilled night of a neverending forest. Frosting even the most savages of wild animal that lurked around the shadows in an attempt to hunt down their next prey.

“And may the odds be ever in your favor”

“In two weeks, twenty three of you will be dead.” spoke your trainer. All the chosen Tributes were lined up and facing her, paying close attention to the words of Linnen. Well, that’s encouraging…

It still made you rather uncomfortable, seeing the big sized differences between each Tribute, especially at the sight of a little brunette with messy waves tied in paired braids. Her face had nothing else but the knowledge that her sweet innocence would soon be taken away in the most horrifying way. She coudn’t have been more than twelve, and you supposed she had been unfortunate enough to being picked in her first Reaping.

“One of you will be alive.” You listened further to her, trying to take in as much information to may be of use in the Arena, for when Vito would need it. You didn’t have much skills to be of use out there, so you might as well try and help with anything you could.

The clear black skin of Linnen shone with the artificial lights hanging loosely above the all of you, like the shimmering stars against the beautiful starry night sky.

“Who that is, depends on how well you pay attention over the next four days, particularly with what I’m about to say.” Her monotone voice gave away the practiced lines of the repeated times she had said the same words, and you wondered just how many years has she been the teacher of the Training grounds. That thought followed another, just how many people had she known and possibly witnessed, that now are already dead from past Hunger Games? Her dull stare gave you a good enough anwer. It seemed she had conditioned herself, so the deaths woudn’t eat away her soul. She had seen many undeserving people die there, even more so she had seen a large quantity of children succumbing to their wounds from a feral Career Tribute. “Too many” is what the unignited fires of her charcoal eyes said.

“First, no fighting with the other Tributes” Linnen further explained the rules, whilst she stalked each one of your eyes. Like an intimidation tactic to give her subordinates the careful respect she was rightfully owed from all of you. Seemed easy enough.

“You’ll have plenty of time for that in the Arena” your amused thought was cut short after that threatening comment. You gulped down thick saliva, just as one of the many avalanches pressured your mind, the noises of crumbling rocks hitting each other too loud in your ears, but completely silet to the rest of the people surrounding you. You had to calm yourself before you’d slowly become insane from the fictional sounds your brain binded you to hear. They weren’t real, and still, since the train ride to the Capitol, it seemed that was everything you were hearing.

“There are four compulsory exercises. The rest will be individual training” Vito’s hand snaked to grab your writhing wrist, already feeling the overwhelmed electrifying vibe that you were expulsing through your tiny pores. His hand was warm, and with that, the affectionate drawing of circles from his ticklish fingers by the lines of your veins comforted you slightly. He was in a way, trying to pay you back from what you had done to him two days ago. To be the strong stilling pillar and grab your form, holding onto you so you’d be able to stand on your own two feet without falling over, and driving yourself further away from your sanity.

You let him reassure you, as some invading thoughts swam across your mind. Maybe this wasn’t so bad, you’d started understanding the phycology of a human’s touch, and although a part of you still recoiled at the closeness, you let him be. It was time you changed your bad habits, especially now when you were going to die soon anyway, might as well make it easier for the rest that had to endure you.

“My advice is, don’t ignore the survival skills” Linnen walked over closer to you, looking at every single Tribute one on one, crashing her eyes on Vito’s before she noticed your timid irises. She stayed for a moment before leaving, and just then, it was like an emotion that wasn’t scripted flashed her eyes. Like she felt bad about you. The very same emotion she had for many other Tributes that fell under the Grim Reaper’s grasp.

“Everybody wants to grab a sword, but most of you will die from natural causes.” She rolled her eyes away from you, before she’d hurt herself again, once you’d die by the hands of an unmerciful vitcor. Her eyes followed back to the rest of the line, with her monotone eyes appearing again, trained to be void of any sympathy.

You noticed the stare of someone else on you, a boy, but from his physique you should be referring him as a man due to his much bigger body, than many of the other Tributes.

He looked very much like Philip, Emi’s older brother back in the Reaping. He was a blonde, dark brown eyes just like the wood of immense oak trees, planted powerfully in the middle of a valley, just near a mesmerazing lake.

You thought he had to be the male Tribute of District 2, if you remembered correctly. Just like how you found Emi’s endearing freckles to be the cutest trait of her face, you though the same for the man’s creeping eyes face sparkles. And that was it. Because the way his very eyes you complimmented on your mind, were locked on yours like a predator, even after giving you a knowing squint after you had demonstrated you had noticed his perforating stare on you. The blonde was taking in your presence, scanning you whole trying to find your weaks points. Which by the way his stare had a drops of cockiness swriling around his irises, you knew he was thinking of the many way to attack you, that you were an easy target to kill.

He was wearing a scowl, but his sight screamed in animalistic determination that threatened your livelihood among many other menacing warnings. You knew you were doomed, and you had to wonder just how did you end up becoming the target before the training even commenced. You justified the fear you had the day before, because he had properly marked you as his prey, and you’d be wary of your hunter.

“10% from infection, 20% from dehydration,” Linnen brought out the statistics, and you obligated yourself to look at her, whilst trying to ignore his tormenting stare.

You found yourself dismayed at the high mortality rate of the natural causes, which your quick mind went on and think this new piece of information over.

Considering the Arena was out there to kill you, you could come up with significant ways the participants of this death game would go through and make many wrong mistakes over the coarse of the days trapped inside. Mortal-like mistakes. So following by what Linnen had said, that could also mean the were chances of injuring yourself by weathering factors, like perhaps that of aggressive thunder storms, or territorial fires. You woudn’t be surprised if they somehow managed to submerge the Arena underwater just to create a nice show.

“Exposure can kill as easily as a knife.” Her passing comment stuck to you like a needle. Maybe you should use that to your advantage, maybe your could protect Vito that way. You didn’t have many skills, but you still had interesting cards under your sleeve that could come in handy if the right situation presented itself.

But for now it was best to stay low, to let the blonde and whoever else whose arrogance clouded their eyes to see you as weak and fragile as a porcelain doll, which frankly you were. But you could play a sneaky card in outsmarting them. That was your best bet now anyway.

The first day was uneventful, aside from the stare off of the blonde, that you’d later on you found his name to be Birch. The remainder of the day he had been trying his intimidation tactic on you, but his brilliant plan after many hours being of confined in the same breathing space, was starting to fail its initial effects it had on you. You simply grew used to it, and soon enough, it left you with an annoyed feeling from his creeping eyes. It was due to the fact that he coudn’t exercise his inner desires now, that the presence of the Peacekeeperes was present at all times, to keep Tributes from starting fights with each other.

Just like a lost puppy, you followed whatever you thought that could take care of you, and that was Vito’s broad muscular body silhouette. The both of you were standing by an exposed wall, full of thinly sharpened weapons that could easily sever you finger away if you weren’t careful enough while toying with them.

Vito didn’t wait, and quickly chose his prefered choice of weaponry. It was among the many axes and long swords, choices that were only provocative to a murderous arrogant’s perspective. Vito, against his big built, wilded the handle of two hunting knives. Its design quickly gave away as to which animal it was targeted to, with a bear pawprint at the base of the newly sharpened small weapon in comparison. .

“Knives?” you voiced. Vito didn’t seem to mind your clinging company on him, in fact he preferred having you stick my his side. He didn’t want you making yourself the target of many more Tributes unnatural thirst of violence that they so longly craved. He’d seen just how Birch was looking at you, and that only grew his protectiveness over you. He made a promise to you, and that simple act weighed him down with the context behind your deal, and he refused to break that bond that had created from your mutual agreement.

But he also felt at ease being in your presence, everyone else was a total stranger to him. So having the kindness your heart beside him was enough to calm his unnerving nervousness, even if it was just slightly.

“Yes, my dad drilled my head that this would be my best bet when out in the wild” he spoke to you. The heaviness from the knives would have been noticeable on untrained hands, such as yourself, but for Vito it was as light as a feathers ticklish touch.

“They’re small, light and easy to handle” he informed you with so much ease, with so much knowledge that was so unknown to you. Your eyes roamed to the drawing design of it. It was long, and thicker in width than normal kitchen knives. They were from shiny drak greys that could be also considered as the black tones from the void. It had a sharp line that run along the first three quarters of the dangerous cutting edge, finishing its race with little scooped oddly round shapes, and you supposed it was to make cutting up pieces of meat easier, as revolting as that sounded.

“Huh… Could you teach me?” you had asked of him, but you already knew his answer. He smiled softly at you, his tanned skin from the hard labour he had unfairly been subjected to, only to be later picked in the Reaping, was made beautiful under the dull artificial lights. “Gladly” he chuckled.

Day three, and you were just starting to get used to the garnet room placed just above the training grounds. It was always filled with many people, old men were the ones in the great majority. Their suit spoke their importance of the Capitol, with an uniformal-like attire that the only thing that was made similar between them, was the repeated pattern of the same boysenberry colour.

The different elegant cocktail vases, from the ones with conelike shapes, as well as some having a taller design that recreated the form of a lifting tower; was a hint on itself of the many riches that were tucked under their first class shirts.

Purple was the colour of royalty, especially ones that reached darker tones. Bringing all the pieces together, you thought you had enough circumstantial evidence to point a finger at them, and proclaim them as your possible sponsors. Probably on the look for the Tribute they wanted to place their bet on, in the form of bottles of water or candy bars ou in the Arena.

You had left Vito’s side for a moment. Making your way to approach another Tribute, trying to come up in a friendly manner. You hadn’t thought this through, it was as if your mind had turned into a spider and altered you of your surroundings, and before you knew it, you were quietly stalking to meet a total stranger, a towel and an axe in your hands. Just then you bitterly appreciated the weight of the doubles blades that Vito was teaching you to maneuver. You thought they were weighty from their solid and dense material, but you soon realized the weight came from the heavy burden you’d have to place on your self if you were in the need to use it to puncture someone’s lungs with it.

The fall was maybe eight feet from the unhelpful loops. Somehow he was able to gather up on his own, and dragged himself away into a solitary chair. The doctor in you made a quick calculation and got everything you needed to do to patch him up. You fully worked from the deep of your subconscious self, by the looks of it, all your healing expertise was in an eternal switched on conductor, making your movements more automatic, and without worrying that you might forget the knowledge of the books you had read oh so many times.

He looked at you, indecisive of your actions, with reasonable doubt across his features, you supposed. He made a quick question with his gaze, starting off with Who the hell were you? And What do you want?

His agitated gaze stopped you slightly. Bringing your usual self out, one with many fears and doubts clouding your mind. That was enough to paint all your actions with insecurity, and it made you feel that maybe what you were doing was inadequate in these types of situations.

You gaze rolled to the floor, where his leg stood. And that was enough to bring your robotic self back functioning. By his feet laid a picture you had encountered so many times you had stopped counting at the large quantity, which meant you had a lot of experience in dealing with these injuries. You hissed at the view of the forming swollen feet, getting increasingly bigger and redder. A sign that something bad was definitely going on.

“Looks like your ankle is sprained. You should rest it for a while” You comment on his current physical restraint. He rose his eyebrow at you, as if you had just mocked him. Which later it would be revealed that you were right after he scoffed at what you had said.

“I’m fi-” His good leg was the pillar that helped him up, putting much more force, and overexerting it with his muscles. The bold escape he tried to do had failed by your presence and doctoral disapproval. You cut him off.

“I said. You should rest it.” You repeated in pure annoyance from the oh so many experiences of having to deal with men’s irritable stubborness when it came to physical injuries. It was still a mystery to as to why they coudn’t just let you heal them, afterall you were a doctor, its not like you’ll make it worse. And you were dismayed at countless times injured fishermen came running with truly untolarable pain; pain that could have been easily avoided if they had just listened to you to begin with.

It wasn’t the best remedy, but it was the best you could do for now. The axe your hand held was frosten cold to the touch, since the metallic material was a especially good conductor of cold. All the weapons that were hunged in the exhibitor, one with advanced technology it expelled freezing air, as cold as freezing point achieved.

You wrapped the towel around the cold weapon as not to cause harm to the boy, from chilling arched sharp edge.

You managed the makeshift icepack, at least whatever your attempt in doing one was, and handed it to him, so he could apply it however comfortably he wanted, to stop or at the very least, slow down the swelling from the inflammed area.

A look of disbelief, one with a drop of distrust was swimming across his grey irises. Your hand was starting to get heavy, with the axe hanging from it. Because he still didn’t give the hint he was going to grab the item.

Your knees felt the surface of the smooth floor, momentarily resentful he made you crawl down so you had to be his caregiver for the next few minutes. You sighed in annoyenace, but the irritation that was pinned by the pit of your stomach wasn’t enough for you to stop your actions, and in fact you proceed further.

The nice cold left the male with a hitched breath from the electric spark that began from the initial contact. Like an odd fire was placed on his inflamed ankle. You had taken note of the way his breathing calmed down after the nice relieving feeling kicked in, so cold it sedated his pained body from further damage.

The boy whose number was printed on his back was that of District 7, looked up at you again. Embarrassment and a feeling you knew very well, he was also a victim of isolation, like the both of you were trapped in an isle of flightless birds; it left him voiceless. You didn’t mind him though, already sympathetic over him.

“Leave it like that for half an hour, you should be fine after that.” You advised him, and you only hoped he would listen to you, unlike the many fishermen that came crawling back with an amused smile at seeing your scowled expression.

His fingers walked to his ankle, and he took the newly homemade shabby icepack, if you could even call that.

“Why?” He asked, looking up at you, genuinely wondering where did that merciful act originate from.

“Becasue I’m a doctor. That’s what doctors do, right? Heal people” You returned his gaze, a small smile decorating your lips in reassurance. His doubts about your true intentions clouded his mind, and only left him with a closed tight lipped line.

The untrusting pupils of his, filled you with nervous awkwardness, washing your mind blank, unable to say anything. When your next words came out, you cursed at yourself from the robotic way it sounded.

“My name is Y/N. What’s yours?”

“I’m Carter” His monotone voice only rewired your brain more. The cells of your brain were desperately trying to know where your social cable connected to, and you were left standing there as you mind coudn’t grasp at the simple concept of human communication, all because of the awkwardness you accidentally obligated your brain to experience.

“Nice to meet you.” You said with a weird smile appearing on your face. One with tense edges that created a tight feeling at the corner of your mouth, from your nervousness.

“I’ll see you around then…” You continued, trying to end this conversation and go back to the only familiar thing in the training ground, Vito’s presence and protective body.

However, you jolted up at a yet another sudden thought, and you hoped the comment hadn’t come across in bad taste. All the while, your thought process run miles, screaming at you to leave this despairing situation in that very instant.

“But, hopefully not in the Arena. Lets not see each other in the Arena” Carter quirked up his eyebrow, amused by that random comment. The corners of his mouth slightly twisted up, only so slightly if you hadn’t been scanning his face you wound’t have noticed.

And then, silence. Eternal disturbing silence filled every gap and hole of your body. Right then you understood the meaning behind phobias. You hand an irrational fear of being trapped in this types of situation, and you wanted to leave inmediately.

“Gotta go now. Bye then!” you practically escaped the scene the best you could. Walking over to Vito who was trying not to let his laughter be known to you, however his contorting expression was betraying him.

That only filled your body whole with flustered embarrassment, so you went on and bark back words for him to shut up. Making yet another mental note to never be in this types of situations again. Because you weren’t sure if you’d be able to survive it next time.

You were in the sight of the meticulous buildings, all in many shapes and sizes, and although it came across as odd to you, not quite what you’ve been used to from the trapped years in your town, you could still find the charm behind them. From spheres to tall pointy towers that scraped the clouds, even with your dislike for the Capitol, you had to admit that was sight worth remembering.

You huffed air out. It seemed that the most important buildings here were the highest ones, standing gloriously and looking down at the rest, an on point reflection from the human behaviour throughout Panem. The Capitol being the highest ones, deciding play the big almighty entity, and you were merely an ant sized building for them.

The luxurious spacious complex you were staying at, spoke in bold letters about its high-ranking prestige. Its sole marketing brand was directed at the citizens from the Capitol, often boasting about thie yearly contract they had with the trownhall. To use their residential services for the Tributes of the Hunger Games; and of course, in this capitalistic society, they doubled the prizes for the rooms that the victors had stayed in, and tripled for those who were well-liked among the city, such as your mentor Finnick Odair.

It was chilly outside, as cold as it should be when you were far up into the sky. There were many colours visible from the buildings, but the purple and magenta of a certain smaller structure was what caught your eye. You supposed it was some sort of promotion for this young and upcoming singer. The lines of her skin were that of a pinkish purple of a neon effect. Her hair was noticeably just been under the influence of her personal Prep Team, as her luscious short electric blue hair had just been straightened, into a nice and smooth cut. They had given her dark purple contact lenses, something that contrasted the edited purplish lines of her skin.

She was dancing, swinging her hips from side to side with a flirty wink among her features. Just by the way of the costume design had prepared for her musical promotion, you knew who her target audience was from get go. A light pink dress hugged her body tightly, so short you were able to see her underwear, from the few scenes when the film director thought it would enhance popularity with that of the tilted camera angle from a lower perspective. It didn’t come from an improvised thought process from a sudden new creative view for the video, but rather it had been planned all along. You knew that, when you saw her underwear with the very same celestial electric blue, the same colour as her eye catching hair, to aesthetically match each other.

In the background played an upbeat song, and the short verses she was was willing to show upfront revealed her cute voice. It increasingly disturbed you further, the way her playful child-like attitude in front of the camera.

With a young appearance, you could guess she could be eighteen. That specific age, because you refused to believe she was a minor and her marketing team thought it would be best for sales for her to expose herself like this to the world; with a personality the very much of the oversexualized idea that creeps had imagined that of young, playful and lively girls. Makes me want to vomit.

You looked away, the uncomfortable feeling crawling up your back, creeping its every steps on

every bone of your vertebral column. Little tiny pest insects running around, and hinding in the gaps of your joints. You shook your shoulders, trying to get rid of the feeling just as the hair of your back got pointy alerted you of any incoming threat.

The trembling pupils of your eyes roamed through the city. The isolation had stubbornly taken over your mind, the same feelings of emptiness forming bigger gaps of void in the pit of your stomach.

At least the noises of the night ambience filled that pit, it seemed like a long well, shrouded in darkness and creaking monsters. The moving cars, only to disappear soon after, was made peaceful in your soul, their drifting sounds very much smooth an quiet, something that you absolutely needed.

Again, her memory came running back to you. This past days, she was everything you could think of, your dead teacher, the owner of the Herbal Shop, the one you had considered as your grandmother. Edna filled your mind ever since her death one year ago, and her passing only left you lonelier.

Edna was terrified of the idea you'd be picked in the Reaping, you were at least glad she didn’t have to experience that level of distress anymore. She already had a long sorrowful life, and it seemed fate had different path for the both of us. They wanted her last remaining years to be alive and well, and you coudn’t escape the written decision of your early death. You supposed then that’s why they had taken her last breath that early, so you could carry out your last living task.

“Cruel and cold” The huff of your breath left the words to be just above a weak whisper. The memory of Edna always followed back to your childhood, the little shards of memories inside the depth of your mind.

You had been adopted by Edna, and she never failed to remind you the day you had been found by at the beach, screaming and crying like a crazy banshee, she always said. You coudn’t bring that piece of nostalgia back to your head, and especially not the memories from further back of your first family, and what might have happened to them. The first room of your house of memories started with Edna, just as if she was part from your biological family, like she was the family that was meant to be yours.

“Like the winds of the sea” It seemed like the city liked the song you started to play. The noises slowly quieted down into nothing but low whistles of the cold breeze surrounded the prison tower you were staying in. It seemed the Capitol liked the lullaby of District 4.

“Will you ever return to me?” You huskily sang, and it definitely seemed like a murmur.

You may be a good doctor, all thanks to Edna, but you weren’t given the doting lovely skill of having a beautiful voice, and especially not to sing in front of a crowd. But it was enough for yourself, as a way to reassure your mental stability back in check.

This is was what your boss sang to you to calm away your senses, and to let your mind drift away from the thought of the imaginary monsters that didn’t lurked in the shadows. That you were safe under her very care, and nothing bad would ever happen to you.

“Hear my voice, sing with the tides; My love will never die. Ten long years, I've waited to go by; My love will never die. Come my love, be one with the sea. Stay with me for all eternity. Play the song, you’ve sang all those years ago; and wherever, the storm may blow, you will find the key to my heart. We’ll never be apart. In your sealed fate, my love will never end.”

The lullaby follows the story of the lovesick siren. It starts when a woman who awaits for her lover, after he embarks on a journey and bring back a treasure so they could enjoy the delicious riches until the end of their lives.

Everyday, the woman waits for him to come back by the shoreline. She slowly goes closer to the ocean, until her legs have been covered with nothing but the saty water the sea. And for the next ten years, she sings a song for her lover to come back home safe.

The story follows when the oceans heart breaks apart after listening to the woman’s sorrowful broken voice, and takes pity on her prolonged pain. The sea foam turned her legs into a siren tail, granting her wish for her to embarc on her journey to find her true love.

That’s how it ends, with an open good enough ending for the children's telltale imagination. A fable to teach the younglings the importance of loving devotion and eternal patience.

But of course, Edna wasn’t like the doting parent from the many families of your District.

Edna was convinced that the siren did eventually find her lover. He was floating through the oceanic currents, drowned and in his skeletal shape from the many years he had been submerged underwater. She always insisted it was a ballad of losing the one you love, a lesson what the sudden loss of someone can do to one’s psychology, to always be prepared to never see your loved one again. Because if you don’t, you’ll make process of your mind’s deterioration.

The memory woke something in your thought process. It was like Edna was trying to give you a heads up from the very beginning of your mother and daughter relationship. Like she knew this could happen to you, and she was trying to implant in an invisible seed in the soil of your mind, about her eventual death.

“My mother used to sing that me when I was a child” The incoming voice of a male jolted your muscles. You were so deep in your head, his sudden presence earned you a quick jump from the little heart attack he had given you.

You looked at him, the man in his full glorious persona, Finnick Odair had made himself aware in your presence.

All his features were darkened by the night sky, creating sharp shadows on his cheeks and eyes. The look on your face said the words you didn’t dare to say to him, because they originated form of a curse. It wasn’t something personal, although it was starting be. You just coudn’t understand as to how something like hard shadows, things that make your face not be as delightful to see, still made him be in usual Thunderous God form. You truly just coudn’t comprehend how much God or whatever entity liked him so much, they made him to always stay this beautiful in every passing second. It was like he repelled all the attacks that targeted his beauty, like he been given a shady an anti-unattractive potion and somehow it worked. You made a mental note, to ask him just where did he find that antidote, because you definitely wanted it.

You didn’t say anything, biting your tongue so you inner thoughts wouldn’t spill out accidentally. He got beside you, and formed the same corporal position as you. His elbows tapped against the railing, and his eyes looked at the neon light show that the night city provided the two of you. He was showing you his profile, the view of his sharp jaw, with the shape of his curled blonde hair was truly as sight to behold. Without mentioning the bubble of his Adam’s Apple sticking out, which made you feel certain things you could only but hide from the world, and you would definitely not tell him the things his physical appearance was making you feel.

“Although, it wasn’t exactly the same” He continued. You were glad he hadn’t bothered to see your face, because it definitely was a piece of art that would amuse him and further and grow his cockiness. You weren’t sure when you were just taking in his features, but his ethereal face had a lot of information you simply needed to take a moment and appreciate. And soon, your mouth opened agape, an expression that only showed true disbelief from the work sculpture, you knew the artist filled inspiration stemmed from nothing else other than great desire.

You recomposed yourself, looking away from him. He had noticed your stare on him, and to that he brought a smug smile to his lips. He had gotten used to it, the very gaze on incredulity many people had given him, asking the very same question you were thinking.

“There’s like, a million versions of this songs. Seems fitting we wouldn't have listened the same one” You responded. You considered his welcoming tactic as a blinding attack, a sneaky move to leave you vulnerable and lost. You needed to focus again. It was incredible just how this man was able to change your gloomy state, only to make a three sixty, and almost make your heart jolt out of your chest. Get. Your. Shit. Together.

“Yeah… This one’s not exactly child appropriate” He mused, the raspiness of his voice increasingly getting stronger and thicker at the base of your ear drums. It was increasingly harder just having to act nonchalant when the man was a powerful weapon against you.

“Edna was never exactly ‘Child Aproppiate’ to begin with” You went on. The bone of your back started to make little-not-rights, the last warning that it was going to start hurting soon. You straightened up, stretching your back as much as you could, only to later lean against the railing.

“Especially when it came to raising me. She didn’t want me to have a wrong perception of reality” You guessed, already done from the countless times you had tried to come up with an answer, as to why Edna had chosen such a particular way of parenting.

“Sounds lovely” Finnick added sarcastically, which earned you a breathless giggle. There was silence again. The brezee flied through the hair of the both of you. Swirling over his curls only to whisk through yours. The breeze hit your shoulder, and you internally whined for not bringing a jacket with you under the nightly weather.

Finnick simply looked out on the whereabout of the city, but he didn’t take in the scenery, too opreoccupied to make up the thoughts that swirled his mind. The words he had convinced himself to come and tell you personally.

“Heard you helped the boy from Tribute 7” He started after a long pause neither of your wanted to break away, that was until Finnick’s mind wrapped itself up. He looked up at you. The breeze affected his nose, as it slowly started to turn red, giving him a more endearing look, if that was even possible.

“You’re a good person for that” He added.

“I’m not a good person” You debated. The tone of your voice as cold as the tight lipped scowl that was forming in your face. You didn’t look back at the man that created explosive emotions inside you, especially after you could barely remember bits and pieces of him carrying to your room while wasted. Memories that were hard to forget.

“No. You definitely are” He counter argued. Which only left you to slowly blink your eyes in annoyance. You coudn’t see the spark of determination that electrified his green eyes, and he knew it would take a lot more than that to convince him otherwise.

“And why is that? If you don’t mind me asking” You asked, recomposing you shoulders once again. Your eyes slowly found his, and the fiery want to be right was cutting away shards of your energy. You internally sighed again. Men…

“By this point, most Tributes are wary of each other. So when someone gets injured before the Games start, its gives everyone else an advantage” His sweet voice filled with the sugar of the fruits and honey, dancing around in the air as if trying to mock you, from the delicious and addicting contents you knew if you took the bait, you would fall under its spell and grow dependant on it.

You quirked an eyebrow upwards, in pure dumbfoundedness.

“That just means I’m dumb” You plainly said, the tone of your voice like and that of an ice stone.

“Maybe. But I think its because you’re a good person” He gave you an fake innocent look. He really was just going to go on about this, and you were too exhausted to entertain his banter further. He was really going to get under your skin.

You sighed in the absence of noise between the two of you. He was still looking a you, a smirk slowly coming up his features as a triumphal look sat across his eyes. Your silence indicated to him that you were waving that white flag in surrender, which meant he’d won.

“Has anyone told you just how annoying you can be?” You filled in the air the both of you breathed in. The energy of your frustration very present in Finnick’s ears.

“Only when I’ve made my mind up” He winked. That flirty comment from the context behind his persistence. Not only did it not work, but it left you with a stoned expression.

“Whatever you say, King” You sighed.

You chuckled through the air, in the end you coudn’t help but find the situation light hearted. Finnick felt the pureness of the feathers surrounding you from, your genuine laughter. Nothing stained that, cleaned from any trace of dread or agitation you’d been feeling the past few days. His eyes locked on your closed ones, taking you in and drawing a pretty portrait of youserlf in the back of his mind. His gaze turned fondly at the look oof your tender expression, it was hard for him not to think of you as anything but amusing.

Upon noticing his stare down, you returned the sentimental look you were receiving. A bright smile revealing your baring white teeth. Another husky breeze flowed around you, unable to consider the both of you as challenges on the road; and with the icy breeze, your noise left to join in its adventurous journey.

And soon you spoke again, your eyes fixated on a skyscraper with golden lights.

“Who could’ve thought the Capitol’s Darling could be so painfully persistent…” You talked to yourself, a small smile lingering under the little city lights. That from Finnick’s perspective, found you to be like an untouchable illusion.

“Who could’ve thought District 4’s Doc could’ve had such a pretty smile” He made the flirtatious remark, and he surprised himself when you moved your head and displayed a playful smile, whilst giving him a knowing look. He hadn’t realized he had said it out loud, and he looked away from you. A shy smile forming after a huffed breath. The lines of his refreshing smile, you thought, was one the things you were surprised, but welcomed the feeling of longing and want, for you to be able to see it again.

“Okay-” you snorted, still in your chuckled trance. You opened your mouth again, to retort back something sarcastic about his flirty personality. But another voice interrupted the both of your livelihood. Vito had called your names, shouting something about dinner.

Your hand reached to tap his shoulder. The touch very much welcomed with the warmth of his skin. Your pumping heart received that homely information, and sent away the blood leaving you in the warmth that Finnick had provided you. Melting the ice of the cells that had been frozen for the chilling attack of the breeze.

“Seems dinner’s ready. You should come inside, Mr. Prince Charming” You said, your voice sounding so sweet and soft in his ears, like the calming waves of the preferred beach he liked to visit in the early hours of the morning, where everything was quiet and peaceful. Your fingers brushed away, just as it left its touch on him, and he coudn’t help but yearn for your suave fingers on him again.

Your body walked away, into the residence the two of you would be sharing for the remainder of the days before the Hunger Games started.

The cells scattered across your body, thanked Vito for having called you, finally coming inside with the warmth the heater radiated without a problem. But even in the external heat, your heart wasn’t fully satisfied, and it longed for that fire that could only be found from inside of you, and it seemed Finnick was the only one that could set its blaze alight.

On the other hand, the victor from two years ago, was looking straight to where you pupils had rested earlier. It was a pretty sight, but he found himself only wanting to visualize your presence. In his silly mood, he didn’t want to think of anyone else but you in that moment, to be able to prolong it as much as he could. But to his disappointed, the weather didn’t listen to his pleas, and soon, the warmth of your body washed away any trace that you had been with him that night.

He hadn’t realized it then. The way you were creeping up on him like a tame spider to keep him a lovely company; how he saw your laugh to be ownerless because it belonged from another planet, as sweet and pure as the tastefilling sugarcubes he’d learn to slowly love.

OH MY GOD, IT DONE!!!!! FINALLY!!

Also, I'm not so fond of the Tribute Parade scenes, idk I just find them quite boring. So I thought I'd add more scenes of the Training, some with Vito, and of course, with my little cookie pookie Finnick. Hope you liked it ;)

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TagList: @marvelescvpe @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @thegr8estpuff

#finnick odair x reader #finnick x you #finnick #finnick odair #finnick odair x you #finnick x reader #the hunger games #thg finnick #thg x reader #thg

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eriexplosion · 5 months

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Bad Batch Season 3 Episode Title Predictions

Okay, so I've poked at the trailer enough that I think I can do a series of predictions that is likely to topple like a house of cards immediately but hey what else is this month of waiting for? Here is my very rough outline of what I'd love to see in season 3 based on nothing but the trailer and Vibes.

Episodes 1-3, "Confined" "Paths Unknown" & "Shadows of Tantiss"

These three seem pretty obvious, we'll likely catch up with Omega and Crosshair first in Confined, which is likely where we'll see these clips from the trailer:

As well as probably the (SAD AS HELL) discussion between Omega and Crosshair shown in the Celebrations trailer. Mix their scenes in with catching up on Hunter, Wrecker, & Echo - I'm actually really attached to the idea that Echo is searching for Tech, having not given up on him. This also parallels to Omega talking to Crosshair, about not giving up - I think that's going to be a theme this season. Can't run away, can't give up. But if Echo is searching for Tech then it might just be Hunter and Wrecker right now, likely giving us a few of their action shots together.

I do think that Omega and Crosshair's escape attempt is going to be relatively early in the season - either at the end of Paths Unknown or the very beginning of Shadows of Tantiss. I went into it more in this post and paired up a few shots of Tantiss' defense systems as well as the crashed ship with Omega and Crosshair. From the look of it, they likely don't make it off planet due to the damage and crash land and have to try to escape and, in the process, are split up and lose each other. Possibly they are able to contact the batch, who are on the way to try and get them when things go wrong.

My guess is that by the end of this three parter we'll have Crosshair reunited with the batch, or about to be, Omega on her own trying to evade Hemlock and his men, and somewhere along the line our reveal that Tech is alive because at this point I can't see them not aiming at a comeback with how hard they're trying to keep his 'death' on all our minds.

Episode 4 - "A Different Approach"

If Crosshair didn't meet up with the batch by the end of the previous three, then probably he does it here, I just get the sense that he's been gone for so long that we need to get him zipped up with the others early in the season, especially since we'll have several reunions to get to by the end of the series.

With Omega still separated but hopefully out of Tantiss at this point, they have to adjust how they plan to find her. She's now a moving target, because she's on the run still and likely unable to contact them. Echo will meet back up with them here, I think, maybe with info on wherever Tech is (my prediction: still on Eriadu in some fashion, either held with the good old pirates & smugglers or possibly by Tarkin himself, but I'm hoping the pirates & smugglers) and Rex will likely come too. I do think that they have their exchange about losing brothers here but rather than being about Tech, as the trailer implied, it's about Nemec or Fireball (or both) who possibly died getting the information. I just feel like those two are not long for this world, unfortunately.

We'll also follow Omega here, now completely alone for the first time. Previously she always had the batch, then she at the very least had Crosshair. Now she has neither and she has to try and figure out what to do. The title does dual work here, both the batch and Omega have to find a different approach in order to try and reunite.

Episode 5 - "The Return"

I feel like this is going to be a mostly Omega centered episode. Where is she returning to is the question, I still think that this refers to a place rather than a person returning. Pet theory - Cid put out several bounties on her to try and get her tracked down and rescued and she gets a blast from the past when she's grabbed by Bane a second time and taken to Ord Mantell. She of course is Not trusting Grandma Crimes anymore, but Cid is trying to redeem herself and fix what she broke.

While this is going on, the parallel return is the batch getting to Eriadu in order to set up the two parter.

Episode 6 & 7 - "Infiltration" & "Extraction

With the batch set up, they're ready to go get Tech from wherever he's been stuck! These two are likely more action oriented, with a little bit of Difficulty between Crosshair and the others after so long apart, but they find their footing well enough and begin to work together in order to get Tech out. They're 5/6ths of the way to a full family, they just have one more to get a hold of!

Episode 8 - "Bad Territory"

Getting fully into Pet Theories here but I think that this shot from the trailer

is Batuu - going mostly from the distinctive looking spires here. Another possible Omega focused episode, Cid is taking her to Batuu to cash in a favor. Not one owed to her - one owed to Omega, by Roland Durand. (LISTEN HERE'S HOW INFESTED BEING RELEVANT CAN STILL WIN-)

Anyway the focus here is on Roland trying to link her up with the batch. This might be a good place for Fennec to make her reappearance too, working from the Batch's end.

Episode 9 - "The Harbinger"

I'll be real I have no idea, my ideas started getting thin right about here, but I will say the title sounds like a great place for Ventress and the Teth monastery to make their appearance (I'm assuming they'll be together) but how they would actually play into the plot if they appeared here is unclear. I do think that we'll finally get everyone together though or at least be on our way to it, in order to bring us to our next two parter.

Episode 10 & 11 - "Identity Crisis" & "Point of No Return

The team is back together and all is not well, because everyone is still suffering a severe case of the Issues. No one can agree on what to do, where to go, with the identity crisis being the batch unsure of how to move forward together. Omega of course gets immediately stressed out by it all because it seems like she finally got her family back together only for it to immediately start falling apart. Wrecker is probably right there with her. Tech & Phee have their moment together, Echo still thinks they need to fight and I think that Crosshair is going to tend towards that too. Hunter at least absolutely wants to retire to Pabu right now immediately, but as the show has been trying to demonstrate, avoiding things won't be an option because-

Point of No Return is the dreaded invasion of Pabu. The Empire followed them here in order to retrieve Omega, and they barely escape, evacuating as many of Pabu's residents as possible. Shep doesn't make it out and is imprisoned.

Episode 12 - "Juggernaut"

This is where like a full quarter of the trailer comes from because they can show us several exterior tank shots without showing who's in the damn tank. I think the point of this one will be to get Shep back, since it does look like him that Wrecker is carrying. We know that Crosshair, Hunter, and Wrecker at a minimum will go in, but I think likely Omega and Echo are there (likely together thus being why we don't see much of Echo in the trailer) and Tech might be with Phee.

Episodes 13-15 - "Into the Breach" "Flash Strike" "The Calvary Has Arrived"

Grouping these three together because I have no idea what happens here except that we're likely going to be mounting an attack to take down Hemlock and, hopefully, free all of the clones that he's been experimenting on. The time for hiding is over, they have to take a stand against the Empire. Not because they're soldiers, but because they're a family, and the other clones are still their brothers.

For the first time, we don't leave our own behind can get followed and they're going in.

The Calvary Has Arrived is not a title I can see going dark to be quite honest, it's more of a full circle moment, it's the Batch becoming who they're meant to be, a family that fights for each other and for the other clones, I will cling to the idea of a happy ending (hopefully one that sets up a continuation that might focus more on Rex and his clone rebellion) until it's ripped from my cold dead hands thank you very much. I think that after the family has spent two seasons absolutely torn apart, becoming increasingly fractured, the best ending is one that has them finally united, all six of them, for the first time.

Like Omega said. They're more than soldiers. They're a family.

#the bad batch #the bad batch speculation #VERY SPECULATIVE

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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 year

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Costume Meta 6x15

At first I thought this was going to be an ok length meta this week, having already written two mini metas based on bts pictures and then we didn’t get the download for a million hours and then just to add to the fun - Tumblr decided that I wasn’t allowed to type into a post wehre i’d added photos and then loading photos into a post wasn’t an option so this is the 4th version of this post I’ve had to create but I got there in the end, so I’m sorry its so much later that i would’ve like it to be - I just hope my insane ramblings are worth the wait!

There weren’t actually that many costumes this week but the guest cast had very interesting costumes and there are a million things going on with Buck, Eddie and Christopher so this week’s meta is very heavily skewed towards them!

No Hen this week as she’s only seen in uniform - there was also very little Bobby - just the one costume!

Bobby

Bobby in navy blue actually doesn’t mean much this week - the choice of colour for his shirt is purely there to continue to parallel Bathena and Buddie from the last couple of episodes with the Burgundy and blue we’ve seen. Thank you as always for reading - it really does mean the world to me that you're interested in the costuming of our wee woo show and I love reading your thoughts in the tags and notes!!! I’ll shut up now and let you have your lives back.

Athena

Burgundy ribbed top - stylistically it is in keeping with the other tops we’ve seen her wearing this season. Burgundy isn’t a colour we see on her very often (the last time was in 5x10 at the christmas party and there are only two previous costumes before that), so there was definitely intention to keep the burgundy and blue theme running into this weeks episode. The ribbing is disjointed on this top over the left shoulder, it hints at the idea of Athena not being comfortable with Dominic dying in the back of her police car - its that feeling of something lurking over your shoulder.

The other interesting thing it’s the return of the anchor necklace. We haven’t seen Athena in this necklace since 5x07. This necklace was very heavily connected to family and the idea of family anchoring her and giving her stability while she was in uncertain waters. It was a play on the idea that even when things were turbulent (Michael coming out, the divorce, Jeffery Hudson etc) her family was and is her anchor. The interesting thing about its reappearance here is that we don’t see her with any family aside from Bobby - for a necklace that has been so heavily tied to her extended family their absence in its presence is telling. It could mean some foreshadowing of choppy waters ahead (perhaps to do with Bobby in the finale) alongside her disquiet over this incident.

The leather leather jacket is the same one as we saw her wearing in 6x12 and I spoke in the 6x12 meta how it was very similar to the one we see Athena wear when investigating Eddies shooting and how it, along with Tamara wearing an echo of Bucks outfit in that episode. We have a similar parallel happening in this episode with Christopher’s jumper at Shannon’s grave. To have it reappearing for this scene specifically is telling me to link the scenes - ergo link to the shooting.

For me that link surrounds the idea of mistaken or hidden identities because all three investigations include an element of this theme. The shooting - Ethan covers his tracks so that the police go for his ex partner and we see Athena hiding her identity by dressing as a firefighter to go to Bobbys rescue. In 6x12 Athena and May go undercover (with hidden identities) to try and find out what happened to Wendell, Wendell himself hides his identity to try and help Tamara and the Walshes tried to hide his identity when they set his body on fire. And now we have a case where Dominic tries to escape conviction through a body switch and hiding his identity. I haven’t quite pieced together what exactly this is saying about Bobby and Athena’s overall arc, but there is clearly something at play here.

Chimney

Chim is paralleling Bobby in the dark blue this episode. The Navy shirt help establish the red/blue theme for Madney in the same way Bobby’s polo does for Bathena. It is designed to do the same thing it does for Bobby - shift focus away from him and onto the one in the brighter colour. It is telling us that Maddie is the one we should be focusing on in the scene rather than Chimney and I’ll explain a bit more of that when we get to Maddies section.

The check shirt Chim wears to the IRS appointment clearly fits into check theory very nicely - not only in terms of the appointment itself, but it is part of a bigger piece of foreshadowing for Chimney more generally which appears to be connected to his family because we have seen him in a lot of check pattern this season and it feels like they’re building the tension with it - it is clearly leading to whatever happens to hi in the finale.

This shirt is the same one he wears when he finds Maddie giving Jee-Yun a bath after they all return home from Boston. and because of this it feels like there is something specific connected to this shirt around the idea of finding happiness in the place you’re in - not needing more in the moment than what you have - not pushing for more.

But there is also something connected to the idea of communication - that happiness is found when you communicate with your partner - the moment with Jee in the bath could only happen because Chimney and Maddie communicated which enabled her to return home and start rebuilding her family. The moment at the IRS was a clear indication of Madney not talking in advance, but ultimately coming out of the meeting in a better place - having communicated and reached a mutually happy decision. To me at least this speaks a lot about the marriage arc they are setting up for Madney - that we’re seeing them fail to communicate again, but they will eventually communicate and end up in the right place for them and will find happiness as a result.

Maddie

Maddie’s bright red top pulls our attention - it is far far brighter than Chimneys navy blue shirt and that is intentional - it is mean to make us think of a red flag and highlight to us that Maddie is where our focus should be for this episode. It is signposting us to the fact that in their relationship Maddie is the one who will ahve had dealing s with the IRS before when it comes to being in a relationship - Chimney won’t have had to do it as we’ve never seen him in this type of relationship. Maddie however would’ve had to file jointly when Married to Doug, so her having hangups about the fact the IRS have got in touch probably goes deeper than it just being the IRS getting in touch. It all connects into the theme of their arc for the episode.

It is also important to note the difference in shades of red and blue that Madney are wearing - especially in relation to Bathena. Bathena’s are much closer together in terms of brightness and contrast. Athenas is slightly brighter becasue she is the focus, but it is closer to Bobby than Maddie and Chimneys are. This is a deliberate choice - it highlights the fact that Bathena are essentially on the same page - they are at the same level and in sync. Madney however are not in sync, they are in different places and we see that play out as the episode airs and we see Chimney searching for a ring at the end of the episode - back in his navy blue tee - we should note however that while he is doing that, Maddie is in her uniform - the maroon of her shirt bringing her closer into line with Chimney, but her uniform still provides a barrier - a safety net for her - in much the same way I described her scene with Buck in 6x12 when she is loading up his fridge.

Ok the check blazer is all kinds of fascinating to me. the three different types of tweed check, the denim jacket placket making it look like a jacket over a denim jacket, the fact that Maddie is wearing a jacket - in complete opposition to Chimney who is in just a shirt.

There is something about Maddie wearing yet another jacket that is multi layered. This one looks like a blazer with a denim jacket underneath. This has been a recurring theme for her the season where we’ve seen her wearing blazers with false insert hoodies. We only really see her in these outside of her home environment, and there is something in that which suggests Maddie is feeling insecure in someway whilst outside the comfort of her home.

The false fronts suggest that Maddy is putting up some sort of front as a way of protection outside of the home, that she is hiding here self from the outside world in some way - projecting something false. The general idea of layering is also about protection too so it’s a multilayered (forgive the pun) theme I haven’t figured out exactly what this means yet, but I think the fact that the season is culminating in an engagement arc for Madney suggests to me that her insecurities lie, perhaps, in how she feels the world views her as an unmarried mother and her trauma surrounding that - the wider arc of her PPD is still in play here because her own trauma extends beyond the PPD itself. Maddie is still battling demons in relation to Daniel as well as the demons we know she struggles with in relation to her previous marriage and the trauma she suffered at the hands of Doug

There is something about the idea of her going out into the world fully suited up to defend the fact she isn’t married to Chim, to defend the choices she has made to protect herself and to allow her to continue to heal and her fears that society will judge her for those choices -something that the IRS has (in her mind) proven to be correct.

So you know how we’ve talked about the blue green theming being connected to break ups - Eddie and Ana, Buck and Taylor, well I don’t want to alarm anyone but we saw Madney in the same blue and green colour way!!

I actually don’t think this is going to be about a break up - I think its more connected to a couple of other times we’ve seen these especially dark yet bright shades of green and blue - the scene in 5x09 (with the pink washing up gloves) as well as the scene when Buck tells Taylor about kissing Lucy - and those two scenes connect to the keeping of secrets and the revealing of secrets, the trying to keep things hidden but them ultimately coming out anyway. It is one of the themes of the episode - keeping secrets, and misunderstanding things and struggling with the reality of moving on and forward. We also saw a similar theme at play when Maddie wore that shirt in the 6x13 - her ‘neighbour’ was hiding their identity. So fear not all the Madney shippers, we’re all good - they just need to communicate and sort through a few things - for Maddie it is very much her hang ups about getting married again - she needs to move on from this last piece of Doug’s hold over her and her life and those shirts are helping with that.

Dominic

Dominic was wearing a very similar jacket to Eddies jacket from 5x10 and 6x08. it is not the same jacket, but it is close enough to draw the parallel.

Ok this is a bit hard to explain, but go with me. At first I thought the wardrobe department were just reusing a costume, however some dots have connected and I think there is a larger metaphor at play here. We have to remember that Athena is wearing a jacket that closely resembles the one she wore to investigate the shooting and that the theme of mistaken identities is at play in both storylines as well.

In 5x10 Eddie is talking to Carla about Christophers obsession over having a perfect Christmas then Chris wakes up from a nightmare about his mother.

The second time we see the jacket, in 6x08, it is as Eddie watches Chris make his way into his school dance and talks about being different and fantasy becoming reality.

It’s therefore an interesting choice to have a very similar jacket on a guest character who is trying to hide, to hide his identity and hide the money he embezzled from an organisation with dream in its name all of this is telling me to connect his plot to Eddies.

So if we look at Dominics storyline things make further sense in relation to what happens in this episode for Eddie. We have to place Eddie as Dominic, Natalia as the second body (whose name we eventually find out is Seth Davis, but not much more) and Buck as the coroner.

We get told a couple of useful things by the coroner (side note what is it with coroners in US tv programes contaminating their morgues by eating their lunch in them?!!!!)

‘looking at a body doesn’t tell us much. Our answers are usually found under the skin.’

It is a pointed line and is the one that helps us to place Buck in the role of coroner - when he is at Maries grave with Eddie he talks about playing a role for everyone else, but he also talks about Natalia seeing him better than he sees himself. Buck hasn’t actually looked deeply at himself (because Buck is scared to - he is so very traumatised) but the coroners job is to look more deeply at others - to look below the surface of the skin and see what has happened, what is going on.

Obviously in this case there are answers that can be found on the surface here - that it is the wrong person - the wrong body. The right body was there initially then it got swapped when no one was looking. So the body is labelled as the Dominic and the coroner has no reason to question the information they have (ergo Buck has no reason to question things about Natalia)it is only by twist of fate that the swap is discovered - you don’t have to look beyond the surface for the answers. Second time around it is definitely the right body because it is Dominic (who interestingly enough dies of a heart attack after taking too much of a medication designed to lower blood pressure - heart metaphor anyone?!) and the answers will only be found below the surface. Autopsies will be carried out on both bodies and in both cases it is likely that answers will be found - the cause of the Heart attack for Dominic and whatever it was that killed Seth Davis. This suggests to me that we will see Buck (the coroner) find his answers that he’ll see into Eddies heart in some way at some point and also see whatever it is he needs to see below the surface in Natalia as well, but it won’t give him the answers he seeks (if they gave us the outcomes of the two autopsies - which we won’t get but thats fine - I would put money on cause of death being completely unconnected with the heart)

Kelly - the speaker at Marie’s living funeral

I wouldn’t normally include a character like Kelly in my costume meta but there is something interesting happening with chains being increasingly connected to Buck through his girlfirends in some way so Kelly gets a look in. This is going to sound a bit off the wall but I promise it makes sense!!!

To start with I need to point out that there were several references to Charles Dickens in this episode. Kelly was giving a speech about advice she had received from her Aunt and as soon as I saw the blouse she was wearing my brain connected dots to A Christmas Carol. This ties in so perfectly with the Victorian concept of a good death - which ties into Natalia as well. The chains connect to the ghost of Jacob Marley, who comes to warn Scrooge of what awaits him if he continues his current path.

So as I mentioned - Scrooge, a miser who is set in his ways is visited by the ghost of his partner - Jacob Marley. Marley appears in chains - the chains of his fate - basically he created these through his own poor choices and stinginess.

Marley tells Scrooge he can avoid the same fate if he changes his ways while he’s still on earth and that 3 ghosts will visit him. This concept - the idea of being visited in some way by someone dead who was connected to you in real life and them giving you advice connects into Buck through Bobby in Bucks coma dream - we have a Bobby chained to the things he was addicted to in life; the pills and alcohol - but a Bobby who gives Buck a vital piece of advice (which is also heavily connected into his current arc)

‘If what matters to you most is how other people see you, then you haven’t learned a damn thing.’

This sets Bobby up as the Marley character. Scrooge is then visited by the three ghosts in turn who show him his past, things that are happening in the present and the what could be the future if he continues is path. If Buck is Scrooge then his arc is going to involve him ‘being visited by’ three ‘ghost’s to show him the way.

We have some bts (thanks @911bts for all your hard work) that suggests we may be seeing Taylor Kelly make a reappearance (side note choosing to call Maries niece Kelly will be a very nice touch if this plays out!) and she would be the ghost of Christmas past for Buck - showing him in some way aspects of his past that have led him to where he is now.

I haven’t figured out who the ghost of Christmas present is although I wonder if it could perhaps be Lucy?! This would make Natalia the ghost of Christmas yet to come. In the novel the ghost of Christmas yet to come is the ghost that most closely resembles the traditional image of death (but isn’t death) this is the ghost that convinces Scrooge to change his ways and to learn.

Obviously Scrooge does change his ways and we see him become someone who treats everyone with kindness, generosity and compassion, the embodiment of the spirit of Christmas.

But the concept of chains binding you to your past - to who you were and the mistakes you made etc is an interesting one in relation to Buck - the idea that death doesn’t free you from them and that second chances should be taken - but only if you learn the errors of your past mistakes - it all feels like it applies too well to where Buck is at and when we add the additional layer of Eddie and Christopher who fit into the roles of Bob Cratchit (who Scrooge helps and supports after his visitations) and Tiny Tim (a child who is disabled and whom Bob is devoted to). Dickens describes Scrooge as becoming like a second father to Tiny Tim at the end of the novel and we have been watching Buck become a second father to Christopher.

I leave you to decide whether or not I’ve completely lost my marbles!!!

Natalia

The handkerchief does in fact have blue roses on it. I wrote in the mini meta before the episode aired; roses in general terms mean love - red for romantic, yellow for friendship etc. Blue roses mean unattainable love (because they do not occur naturally - only through artificial means) - so that would suggest that both love is unattainable for both Natalia and Buck but also that any feelings etc are not real - they can only be achieved through synthetic or artificial means - suggesting that any attempt at a relationship is going to be forced. Blue roses can also mean (especially the lighter shades of blue) emotions - specifically the finding of hope peace and tranquility. So with all of this in mind we end up with the concept of Buck finding what he’s looking for and that Natalia will help him get there, but that it isn't love, its the peace, tranquility and happiness that he's been seeking for himself.

The black velvet blazer and black matt dress has a Victorian mourning dress vibe. This is playing into her role as a death doula - the Victorians were obsessed with the idea of a ‘good death.’ This idea stemmed from evangelical beliefs around being with family and making peace with God. In the Victorian period death was a very common occurrence and so having a ‘good’ relationship with it and being in close proximity to the dying was actively encouraged. A good death was considered to be a slow death which gave people time to say goodbye and for the dying person to see all of their family and friends through that process.

Once the person had died mourning was commenced and this too had strict rules. clothing was to be matt plain and black - bombazine, velvet and cottons were the most commonly worn fabrics (depending on wealth and status). Matt fabrics were preferred because they didn’t reflect the light - it represented the depth of the soul and the depth of grief.

Dressing Natalia in an outfit which mimics Victorian mourning is playing into that concept - it is a physical representation of her job and more than likely her personality as well - she will very literally be all about death all the time in some way.

I stand by what I said in the mini meta I wrote when we got the sneak peeks, but I want to talk about the necklace choice again in light of the fact that it was, once again, buck being pursued (whilst at work) rather than doing the pursuing. the choice to use this necklace to connect Natalia to Taylor, to Veronica and to Ana is a very clear choice. I’m going to write a meta that focus’s on the necklaces we see the various girlfriends wearing, because there are some interesting things going on with them. But the fact remains that the necklace also contributes to telling us that Natalia is headed the same way as all of the others - that she won’t be his endgame romance. She is a representation of death and this necklace is playing into the idea of death having a claim over Buck - of Buck feeling like death has a claim over him and like I said above this plays into the Christmas Carol undertones we’re getting. It all connects to the fact that with these women, Buck keeps on repeating the same mistakes, he needs to break these chains or he will end up like Jacob Marley in the novel.

There is also something in connecting the chains to the water theme we see playing out in Bucks arc - about water finding its level and the chains representing the anchors that give a boat respite to hold it in place when not in port. If Buck is a boat and his water hasn’t yet found its level, the implication is that his waters are at the very least choppy and at worst - tsunami waves and that he needs to pause for a minute on his journey. Buck seems to make most of his progress when fairly newly out of a relationship with a woman - they seem to stall him - hold him in place but his growth is minimal. We saw in the tsunami, the boat anchored off shore where a couple were trying to get married but in the end only succeeding in their nuptial plans when they were on dry land. All of these chains connecting to Bucks girlfriends suggest they are helping to anchor his boat out at sea, while he is on his journey and needs a moment, but that when his water finds its level he won’t need chains or anchors - he will be in the safety of port.

The red dress is a great colour on her. it is a rusty red/orange and now I’ve been able to get a better look at this dress and I’ve seen the actual scene play out I have a few new thoughts. what I thought might be crosses is actually a looser design which looks remarkably like the graphics 911 uses for the incoming emergency calls to dispatch;

This is Bucks emergency - meeting with Natalia is a cry for help, but when you are the emergency service, you cannot call yourself for help! There is also something in the fact that the other parts of the design on this dress look like keyholes. This is an interesting concept because Buck is looking for a key not a keyhole because he is looking for answers - a way to unlock what is inside him and move on (and through). Natalia is also a keyhole - she is seeking the answers to death - to what comes after and she is interested in Buck for that reason alone - i’m not saying she cannot develop an interest in Buck beyond that but as it stands the show hasn’t shown us her being interested in anything more than the fact that Buck died - she is the one to bring the conversation around to his death, not him.

Flowers

We are pausing here to go off on a little side quest into flower land!!! because the little arrangement on the table at the cafe/restaurant made me giggle!!

we have 2 pink carnations what I think is a deep purple chrysanthemum (although it could be a gerbera) sprays of babys breath purple statice

All of these flowers are very commonly associated with funerals and death. Pink carnations symbolise gratitude while the dark pink one is also variegated with yellow - which means disappointment or disappointed hopes. the purple chrysanthemum means sickness and is often given to those who are struggling with illness and need encouragement in their recovery and in most of Europe they are so deeply associated with death and funerals that it is considered offensive to give them to people outside of offering condolences. the babys breath means new beginnings while the purple statice means sympathy and remembrance (as an aside it also has a medicinal use - in the treatment of respiratory illnesses!!)

So all the signs both subtle and textual are telling us that Natalia isn’t going to be around for especially long as there is too much death surrounding her - even when in a setting that should be innocuous!

Buck

The yellow ochre (at the brown end of the spectrum is very definitely a call back to not only his appointment with Dr Copeland - where he talks about hiding his true feelings from others - but it also connects with a broader theme for Buck that I’ve really only figured out because of this scene and his continued insistence on misunderstanding the assignment!!!

I know I’ve spoken at length about yellow being a colour of communication and clear thinking and its brighter shades can be symbols of joy, however I don’t think I’ve spoken enough about some of the more negative traits that can be associated with yellow - which I’ve never really felt fit the narrative before now, however seeing this episode has changed my opinion somewhat, and I am fairly certain that the show has been leaning into the negative traits for yellow ochre far more heavily than it first appeared.

So yellow is considered the colour of communication, in part, because it is the first colour the cones of the eye can detect and so over time it has become associated with the need to convey information (such as hazzards etc), but it is also associated with communication because it was used heavily in Christian artworks on Judas - to highlight him and his betrayal - in part because it contrasts well with the blues and reds Jesus is often depicted in. If you look up Hans Holbeins ‘The last Supper’ for example you will see Judas as the only one depicted in yellow ochre. As a result yellow ochre can be associated with cowardice and fear. the brown undertones of yellow ochre can also hint at loneliness and isolation as well as stability and foundations for growth. I’ve gone back through my notes and I’ll highlight some of the key scenes where I think the dual meaning of yellow ochre is at play.

4x02 - the counselling scene with Dr Copeland 4x03 - Maddie talks to Buck after he confesses going to therapy 4x04&5 - Buck finds out about Daniel 4x14 - talking to Taylor while packing to go stay at the Diaz house - At the hospital - the will reveal 5x03 - Buck gets home after the blackout - Taylor is on the TV 5x04 - Buck talks to Chim about Maddie being ok - ‘Its what she does” 5x14 - Equestrian therapy centre 6x11 - His trousers in the coma dream

These are most of the occasions where he has worn yellow ochre, there are a few others, but I’ve highlighted these one specifically because they tie into a key theme. Interestingly there are only two instances before the phone call with Dr Copeland in season 4. All of the ones I’ve highlighted are connected to Bucks mental state in some way and more specifically they are broadly connected with death (and Daniel).

These are all times when Bucks mental health is in a vulnerable place - the therapy of it all is showing us Buck is not in a good place - we never really get told if covid lockdown played a part in his decision to go to therapy, or indeed how much the return of Abby played into it, but whatever his reasons, there was clearly some form of trigger, I surmise the fact that Abby returned to his life at a moment when death was surrounding them (including her fiancee being in the firing line) and I think it may have played its part.

Finding out about Daniel is an obvious one - finding out why he’s felt like he wasn’t enough his whole life etc and how he has been walking in the shadow of death his entire life. interestingly we don’t see anymore yellow ochre in the rest of season 4 until Eddie gets shot - Death is back in Bucks life. The will reveal scene is a bit of a double ended sword on the yellow ochre front, not only does it connect to Eddies brush with death, it also links to Bucks own vulnerable mental state as well as being a moment that calls out Bucks passive suicidal tendencies by forcing him to live for someone besides himself.

The one from 4x13 in his loft and the one from 5x03 both connect to his vulnerability - Taylor takes advantage of it in 4x13 and kisses him while in 5x03 she is absent and Buck is in a position where - after Eddie telling him he is going to take the advice Buck has given him - he is questioning his own relationship and if he is also doing the same thing to Taylor that Eddie has been doing to Ana. I genuinely think that if Maddie and Chimney hadn’t left LA in the next episode, Buck would’ve broken up with Taylor fairly quickly. As it is his support network shrinks very quickly and he clings to the one thing/person who isn’t expecting more from him and who is sticking around - even if he isn’t truly happy.

Seeing the ochre at the equestrian therapy centre is also a moment of vulnerability for Buck - he is obviously worried about Eddie and his mental health, but it is also the first time they bring up the shooting and say something more than stating the fact that Eddie got shot. the black being dominant on that jacket is a reflection of him trying to cover up that vulnerability so he can be there for his best friend, but it is also us seeing a chink in Bucks armour around Eddie (remember the only time we’ve seen him in that colour with Eddie is in that locker room scene from 5x03).

I’m not going to go into the trousers from the coma dream in great detail, except to say that we are inside Bucks head for the whole time he is wearing those trousers so we are literally walking through all of buck fears and trauma and that may be why the yellow is on his legs rather than his top.

The graveyard scene was both interesting and loud on the costume front. You do not want to know how long I’ve spent trying to work out if this was the same jacket dyed or if it was a new jacket and I can confirm it is a new Jacket. Both Jackets are by Theory - the ochre one from last season the new one from this!!

This jacket continues the green theming we’ve seen in action for Buck this season, it is however a much darker green that we’ve seen yet and also ties in to Eddies army greens very nicely as well. The darkening of the green is actually really interesting because we’ve kind of gone from the very pale greens in 6a to the coma dream bright sagey green to this much darker olive green - its like we’ve skipped a few steps - a few shades of green.

The army olive green of it is also aloud choice and very much intentional - it not only connects to Eddie very directly because of it being a shade we see most often on him, but it is also a nod towards the military side of things - the idea that Buck is at war (with himself) and that he’s feeling under attack - not from anyone else, but from and with himself - the no longer knowing who he is or what he wants.

This green is not one we see on Buck very often at all in fact there are only 2 instances - the low key date with Abby in season 1 and on the couch with Chris when the firefam are at Eddies house - the I’m not really a guest scene. I tend to discount season 1′s costumes unless they are the exact same costume, because they used several designers that season and the costuming of Buck in particular was very different from season 2 onwards, so it tends to not have as much relevance. The 3x11 scene however - very telling in relation to what we’ve seen play out this season

Eddie

So much going on in Eddies costumes this week and repeat outfits everywhere you look. At Shannons grave we see Eddie in the same Jumper as therapy scene/ coming home to Buck. While there is very much the connection to Buck misunderstanding the assignment and the heart metaphors at play, there is another aspect to this outfit being worn again and that is his therapy session with Frank. the use of the same jumper as we see him wear in therapy is pointing out that Eddie is able to sit here at his dead wife's grave with their son and create a good experience because he has been in therapy.

I pointed it out in my mini meta, but its worth reiterating (this is literally the only vaguely decent shot of it I can get!) and notice how Eddie is very much not wearing his watch - there is no watch to be seen work or home or fancy watch!!! The lack of watch her is connected to Shannon - they have no more time - she is no longer a physical presence in their lives, in Eddies life, she is still present yes, but she no longer has any influence over Eddies time, his lack of time or indeed over Christophers time. Eddie has time, because the clock has stopped. This tells us Eddie has moved on and is at peace with Shannon now and that he has got past his anger etc, that he is in a good place with that aspect of his trauma and can look at things with a happier eye.

Talking on phone to his mom when we find out about the earth day field trip. we get Eddie wearing the same jacket he wore to Hens leaving the 118 party. Again Eddies watch is prominent here - in fact Eddies watch is prominent in every scene he has except for the two scenes at the graves of Shannon and Marie.

Having him in the same jacket as this one;

while putting him in a black shirt that connects him to Shannons death is a choice!!

I have spent a lot of time while writing this meta trying to figure out why this shirt looks so familiar to me - I haven’t succeeded - it isn’t one we’ve seen Eddie wear before, but it is an interesting choice for him. its this greenish grey colour and has echoes of some of the clothes we saw him in during 5b, but it also has echoes of Buck in 5b - wearing a lot of grey with black. This is relevant because we saw Buck supporting Eddie during his recovery and this scene at Maries grave would appear to be the opening overtures of Eddie providing the same for Buck - now that he has seen more deeply into what is going on with Buck. in the same way that the Kitchen scene in 6x12 echoed the kitchen scene in 5x11 when Buck saw that Eddie wasn’t actually happy or in a good place, this scene in the graveyard has echoes of Buck being there in the immediate aftermath of Eddies breakdown.

Its not the exact same jacket, but I think its close enough that we can draw a comparison between the scenes because the black leather jacket Eddie wears here when Buck talks about Natalia seeing him is incredibly similar to the one Eddie wears to Bobbys in 5x18 - when he tells Bobby that he saved bot hEddie and Chris. That bobby saw him and provided Eddie what he needed, even if Eddie wasn’t necessarily welcoming it with open arms at the time - implying that Eddie will potentially do the same for Buck now - Buck may not be completely open to Bucks help in this moment - distracted as he is thinking Natalia has the answers, but that Eddie will provide support etc anyway.

The jacket is in fact the very same one Eddie wears when we see him at Bucks bedside for the one and only time - it is his widows weeds suede jacket. the moment we see how broken Eddie is over Bucks death and resurrection. The same jacket being worn a couple of episodes later when we have them at a grave side talking about dying alone and being seen by people is a really interesting parallel to draw. there is something in the fact that we see it here in this scene - when Buck is talking about being seen and when coma Buck didn’t see Eddie - in his coma dream or at his bedside in the land of the living. Buck felt/saw everyone else’s presence during his coma - he knew about Bobbys rosary beads and we hear Athenas voice from the real world echo in the coma as well as Christophers voice guiding Buck to the hospital.

But Eddie was missing from it all - in Bucks eyes and mind. We the audience of course know that Eddie was present and that he was broken over it, we know that his lack of presence was far louder than if he had been more present in the episode. Bucks subconscious however doesn’t know that. He knows that Eddie cares for him, that he is his best friend etc but Buck exploring why Eddie wasn’t there in the dream beyond a conversation with Hen and Chim about what happened to him without Bucks presence is not something he is ready to look at yet. so we have a deeply traumatised Buck searching for answers without the tools to do so and therefore looking in the wrong places while we have an Eddie realising that Buck is different, but that he himself is also different and needing to mourn the fact that things have changed.

This isn’t about him having his heart broken in a romantic sense, this is him having an epiphany about time and making the most of it. It is about him needing to mourn the fact that he has been changed by Bucks death and reconcile with himself so that he can move forward, so that he can be there fore Buck as Buck was for him.

I will be forever obsessed with the choice to have Eddie wear the exact same henley in this episode as in 6x07 and 6x13. A scene showing Eddie missing his family and choosing to make time and go home to Texas to see them in the aftermath of seeing Buck make another self destructive choice which will probably end in failure. Connected to a scene where Eddie is talking about his Abuela being taken advantage of to the point of losing almost everything and to a scene where we can not only see the Buckley-Diaz family in full swing, but also see Christopher trying to take advantage of Bucks math skills and failing and the foreshadowing for the poker hustle which also isn’t as successful as Eddie had planned, and which he mentions in the previous scene at Maries grave - choices were made!

Chris

At Shannon’s grave we get a rare sighting of Chris in a jacket!! The denim jacket is both a connection with Texas and with Eddie, but it is also a connection with Shannon and Shannon‘s death. Thanks @theladyyavilee for pointing this out to me, but Chris is wearing a denim shirt of a similar colour when Eddie told Christopher that Shannon had died.

Denim jackets are culturally tied to westerns, cowboys and to Texas. Christopher wearing one here would appear to be a visual way of tying him to the childhood he had with his mother - backing up the conversation about making s'mores with her when he was younger. The fact that Chris is wearing a denim jacket connected to Shannon and her death over the top of a jumper which is connected to Buck and the moment Buck saved his father is an interesting connection and piece of layering to me.

The hoodie is white and grey striped - the horizontal version of Buck shirt from the shooting. this is suggesting two things to me - one it is connecting Chris directly to the fact he nearly lost both parents - sitting at the grave of one parent while wearing something that echoes an outfit from the moment he could've lost a second parent. I also think there is something in the connection to Buck specifically in this - its directly connected to the will and that Chris has a third parent - I can't wait to see if I'm just clowning hard, or if the change the stripes Chris is wearing are foreshadowing some connection to the will!

We can't not talk about the fact the striped hoodie actually plays on several fronts not just the Buck connection! Stripes according to my theory are all about change incoming - the theory hasn't yet been disproven by the wardrobe department and I get the feeling that here is no different. The idea that a change is coming in Christophers life is one that has been hovering around for the whole season and the narrowing of the stripes would suggest that change is getting closer. The stripes have been telling us, but so it would appear are the little surfing skeletons on his tee at the end of the previous episode along with a proliferation of water and surf theming surrounding Christopher. I’m at the point now where I think Bucks water might find its level when Chris is in danger - it will be the wake up he needs to sort himself out and get his head out of his ass!!

Then we are onto the shoes. I know its almost impossible to see from the scene, but I am nothing if not determined so after a lot of zooming and messing around with the image levels and a bit of googling, I am pretty sure that these are the shoes Christopher is wearing;

If they aren’t foreshadowing Chris in danger in connection with water after all of the other water and surfing related clothing we’ve seen him in recently I don’t know what to tell you.

Space theme surrounding Chris retuning to me from the wilderness in the form of a backpack - you have no idea how happy this made me. We haven’t seen Chris wearing anything space themed since 4x08 - in the scene with Buck when he ran away from home after Eddie told him about Ana. We have seen a backpack - a Star wars backpack in season 5 however we never actually see him holding it, it is always Eddie - and the space theme remains in his bedroom (the little we’ve seen of it). To me the star wars backpack was connected to Eddies mental health because he was at war with himself which is why we never see Chris in contact with that bag. The space theming is so closely entwined with Buck and Eddie, no one else and because there is so much blue in Bucks costume choices this season, to have Chris holding a space themed backpack that is blue is an interesting choice. The back pack is one that shows galaxies and very much represents the universe, but we have also seen Buck to be very entwined in Christophers school life this season - helping with homework, baking cookies etc. so it really isn’t that much of a leap to connect the backpack to Buck - giving him a presence in a scene that is connected to Christopher heading out for some school activity it is continuing the universe theme and continuing to Connect Buck to the Diaz boys - in a subtle way which gives him presence in their lives even in his absence. In an episode that is so strongly connected to Shannon, her continued presence in their lives even in her eternal absence, its a clear choice.

The jumper with its three bands of colour is also intriguing me. there is something in the idea that it connects into the 3 theme we’ve had all season, but there is also something in the idea that the three bands represent the three people who are having the most influence on who Christopher is growing up to be - Shannon - white as she is not of this world any longer and was the first parent Chris spent time with - Buck - Blue - in part becasue of the blue theming around him tis season, but also because it is next to the white - and therefore suggests the idea of the batton being handed over - Eddie - the yellow ochre which is much closer to the brown we see Eddie in so much - Eddie is the earth from which Chris grows, it its the brightest colour on the jumper and suggests the brightest and biggest presence in his life.

The jumper in these colours also suggests the three elements of earth water and air, themes we’ve seen in play throughout this season - the blimp being the air (and an episode coming up called love is in the air), Buck being in the air when he gets hit by the lightning, the water theme has been there all season long in various forms, not least the pictures on the Diaz house walls and all the water connected themes on Christophers clothes, and there have been several episodes that have shown us Buck and Eddie digging - the slingshot tree call and the father hit by lightning in the sand are the two main ones.

Chris sleeping away on the sofa in his stripey top while covered in a check pattern blanket just continues the theme of Chris and change incoming, as well as the threat of danger. For me the fact that we seem to see so much of Christopher in stripes in connection with Buck in some way - implies that the change that is coming is in relation to Buck and the fact that these stripes are being worn on the sofa where we have Chris mimicking Bucks sleeping position on the couch wearing a shade of sea-foam green (which means revitalisation and enlightenment) that also seems to be connecting to Buck - after we saw him in a striped top that echoed Bucks white striped shirt - its all making my eyes stand out on stalks.

Honestly if you have made it to the end of this epic then I don’t know what to say other than I love you form the bottom of my heart. Its a bit of a beast. Will this show and its wardrobe department ever give me a minute to breathe?? Probably not and thats why we love it!! I’m off to sleep for a million years and send some prayers to the tumblr gods that next weeks meta is n’t such a challenge to upload!

As always, tag list below! Until the next episode! 💜💜💜

@mistmarauder @theladyyavilee @leothil @girldadbuddie @kitkatpancakestack @buckscurls @lemotmo @trashendence @elishareads @clipboardsandstethoscopes @comfortbuddie @fiona-fififi @callanee @calyssmarviss @pbandjeremiah @batgrldes @spotsandsocks @livingwherethesidewalkends @idontshitpostbuttheolympicpark @diazboysbuckley @sweettsubaki @shortsighted-owl @sherlocking-out-loud @wh0re-behavi0r @favouritealias @hearteyesdiaz @ktinastrikesback @princesschez75 @bucksbuddie @oneawkwardcookie @leatherati @moniquekatie @wanderingwomanwondering @trickster-archangel @asharadaine @ajunerose @talespinner230 @pop-kam @swiftiebuckleys @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @butchjerry @mandzuking17 @yelenasbuddie @copyninjabuckley @name-code-black-widow @rogerzsteven @bi-moonlight @usercowboy @inthecarwithaboy @inandoutoffocus-blog @toboldlynerd

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