#and same goes for yoongi in his mv

[taehyungfirst]

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[7ndipity]

Their Love Languages

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: What the members main love languages are(both giving and receiving)

Warning: none, I think

A/N: First off, I'm so sorry for not posting much the past few weeks, I'm really hoping to get back to posting regularly again, but thank you all for your patience and understanding. A big thanks to @universal-travel-er for requesting this, I hope you like it!

Masterlist

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Jin: Giving: I think it’s a mix of Gifts and Quality Time. He seems to take a lot of delight in giving the members gifts, however odd some of them might seem(gold toilet brush lol). He also understands the importance of being with the people that matter most, so he definitely makes spending time together top priority(He literally planned a entire event at Lotte world so he could hang out with Army for the day)

Receiving: Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. He’s an introvert at his core, but spending time with the select people that he feels most comfortable with means the world to him. Even if you’re doing separate things, just being able to spend time existing in each other's proximity makes him happy. Also, I just feel like his constant plays for complements(I look handsome, right?” “Whaa! Have you ever seen someone play this well?!”) aren’t entirely for the joke. He really does crave them, they give him an instant boost of confidence like nothing else

Yoongi: Giving, there’s no question that his main love language is Acts of Service, we’ve seen it from him making food/snacks for his members, checking in on trainees, even just playing along with little requests from fans during livestreams. It warms his heart like nothing else to be of service to those around him. I also think he’s really big on words of affirmation. He’s always praising others in his soft, gentle way.

Receiving: I think it’s the same two, plus Quality Time. He appreciates acknowledgement of his efforts and someone who’ll look out for him as much as he does for them. He also values his free time greatly, and so someone making a conscious effort to dedicate time for him means a lot to him. Similar to Jin, you don’t even have to necessarily be doing the same thing, so long as you’re together(all those fics about hanging in his studio are onto something, tho I think he avoids working when he’s with his S/o)

Hobi: Giving: Gifts! He loves treating his members and loved ones to little surprises, whether that's with a simple coffee/dinner or some super elaborate gift(like when he made Jimin a physical copy of his song ‘Promise’ with a proper album booklet and everything). It makes him so happy to be able to provide for his loved one in some way, and he really loves finding special, unique things to show that he cares.

Receiving: He seems to really glow from Words of Affirmation, he loves having his efforts acknowledged and receiving praise. Acts of Service also seems to be a big one for him, The way he gets soo excited whenever one of the members comes by during a mv shoot or helps him with something(Jimin killing the bug for him during In The Soop lol), it makes him so happy to know that people actually want to help him too, not just the other way around.

Joon: He’s mentioned before that one of his love languages is Words of affirmation, both giving and receiving. He really values verbal expressions of affection and encouragement, and so he tries to give that back to those around him. Another big one for him as well is Quality Time. He’s very much an extrovert and knows the importance of spending time around those that you love, so he definitely makes an effort to be there for them as much as possible.

Receiving: Same as above. Having someone to just sit and talk with him about whatever soothes his heart like nothing else. It doesn’t matter if it’s a super deep topic or not(though knowing him, it’ll inevitably turn philosophical lol), just having someone spend time with him means the world to him. And that goes hand in hand with Words of Affirmation. As I said before, he really values verbal connection and encouragement, so genuine compliments or words of positivity makes his heart so happy

Jimin: For Giving, it’s definitely Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. He’s very much a care-er, everyone who spends more than two minutes with him talks about how helpful and generous he is. He’s always making sure those around him are taken care of and encouraged in whatever it is they’re doing, or giving comfort if he sees someone struggling. Even in the military, other soldiers have shared how he treats them to food or gives up his phone time for them. He just wants to make sure everyone’s looked after and taken care of.

Receiving: Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. We’ve all seen how physically affectionate he is with the members and his friends, he takes an immense amount of joy and comfort in physical contact, even if it's just a simple touch on his hand or shoulder. He also absolutely lights up whenever he receives praise, and really cherishes every piece of encouragement that he receives.

Taehyung: Giving: Words of Affirmation, He thrives on praise, and he also gives the same out to those around him happily. He’s always giving words of encouragement to the people around him. I’m reminded of him cheering on the crew in the middle of a sandstorm during the Yet To Come video shoot, and when a fan mentioned how she was joining the military because she wanted to help her family, and he told her that she was already helpful and valuable just by existing. He loves to lift up and encourage those around him through his words

Receiving: It should come as a shock to no one that his main languages are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. Look at the way that boy’s face lights up when someone compliments and try to argue with me. He absolutely thrives on praise. He’s talked about how he would work extra hard on choreo because he wanted praise from Hobi. He is also one of the biggest cuddle bugs I’ve ever seen, he’s always seeking out hugs and physical contact from the members or his friends, and this would only become more intense with his S/o.

Jungkook: Giving: Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. He seems to really put high priority on spending time with his loved ones as a way of making them feel seen and appreciated(yes, I’m still crying over his surprise weverse live, don’t touch me😭). He’s also always more than ready to give out compliments and words of encouragement to anyone around him, especially if he notices someone having a tough time.

Receiving: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch. Tbh I could’ve put all five languages for Kookie, he thrives on all forms of love and affection. The members have mentioned how easily sad he gets if he’s not included in things, he’s at his happiest when he’s with his people. He tends to be rather hard on himself, so he really relies on and takes a lot of comfort from praise and words of encouragement. He’s also mentioned how he really craves Physical Touch as a way to feel connected to his loved ones.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @feminympho @classicalelephant @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @bo0ghol @seleneacyoflove @k4ngelz @universal-travel-er

[7brownsuga7]

bts x idol!gf headcanons pls!!

i’ve been loooving ur bts boyfriend headcanons so far! ur so talented

Omg thank you so much 🫶🏽 I actually enjoyed writing this. Here you go & enjoy! <3

Namjoon:

• Tries to be discreet with your dating but will accidentally leave hints like some of your merch/stuff in the background of his pics/lives.

• Paparazzi pics in museums & galleries. Definitely off guard

• Always in touch when the other is away.

• Will publicly share your music/projects. Is a big supporter

• Spotting’s in clubs. Shades on dancing the night away. Y’all are definitely the talk of the night

• You both subtly post things on your story that insinuates that you both might be dating. Same location, same background, posting pics at same event or place. Posting songs that relate to each other.

• You both definitely talk through your stories. Talking to each other through songs or silly captions etc

Jin:

• Will shut down any bad rumour about you. Very defensive when it comes to you.

• Big supporter and is at all of your shows/events cheering you on if he can.

• Goes on live wearing your merch

• Lives where both of you are cooking together and bickering with each other about who’s better or who does it right.

• Idk I can see y’all presenting together?!! And kinda teasing each other. (I see this before you start dating. And this causes speculation which kind of initiates both of you dating??)

• You both definitely post pics of each other being a mess. Off guard pics 100%

Yoongi:

• Song covers while he plays the instrumental for you on his guitar or piano

• Will stick up for you and will shut down any bad rumour about you. Very defensive when it comes to you. And if you're getting hate he's gonna make sure it's dealt with

• Very protective when out in public together. Is like your own little personal bodyguard and will hold your hand and lead you away from the paparazzi/fans

• Will go on live and call out everyone for your fan edits. Even though he acts like he doesn’t like it he blushes and secretly saves them.

• He’s caught with your picture as his lockscreen

Hobi:

• Loads of dance videos and choreographies.

• Lives where you both are just dancing and vibing in the practice room.

• Duet video dance covers that he begs you to do

• Cameos in each others MVs

• Has your merch. Has your photocard hanging on his jeans or bag for sure.

• Is spotted with your initials painted on his fingernails

• Always showing you off to the cameras with a big grin on his face. Showing your photocard, merch, his lockscreen of you, showing his nails or any jewellery with your initials on it.

• Taking selfies with your posters/adverts with a big smile on his face. Or even will do a little freestyle dance in front of it lmfao

Jimin:

• Cameos in each others projects. Him more so in yours.

• Will talk about you in his lives. Will purposely make up a comment and read it out and then go on a whole rant about you. Will get shy and then wave it off

• Duet video covers that you beg him to do

• Posting pics with the same background/location so people know you're together

• Likes every and any fan edit of you both.

• You both are always spotted on little dates like cafes, pottery painting or just casual walks

• You both wear matching jewellery that he picked out himself

• Taking selfies with your posters/adverts with a happy proud smile on his face and the most sentimental and encouraging paragraph

Taehyung:

• Cameos in each others projects/MVs

• Loads of leaked messages of y'all being messy

LFMAO.

• Loads of photo shoots from him. He loves being your personal photographer

• Will purposely like and interact with any conspiracies and speculations about you dating. (Before you both went public with your relationship)

• He will beg you to go on variety shows together. He sees it as something fun. I can see you both bickering during the recording and making fun of each other/ teasing. You both would kill it though even though you don’t take it seriously you’d probably end up doing great in the games.

• Public outing spottings. You guys are always seen out together holding hands or him with his arm around you. You guys always stop for pictures.

• You both wear matching jewellery to symbolise your relationship

• Y’all are always caught kissing in public. So many pictures have been leaked

Jungkook:

• Paparazzi pics of your date nights. Holding hands and running away from the paparazzi/fans as a game

• Very sneaky and lowkey. Like you're known to be dating but you're very sneaky with it. Always hiding from paparazzi and not really speaking about your relationship publicly.

• But will publicly stick up for you if there's rumours going around or hate. He's shutting that shit down

• Duet cover videos that you guys randomly post that has the fans going insane

• Hot dance covers. Y’all both being sweaty having re-recorded many times due to fuck ups, teasing and getting distracted iykwim ;)

• Always FaceTiming and calling when either of you are away. You both miss each other so much and you can't go without communicating. He literally will keep on messaging you if you don't respond

• Fan edits go crazy and he eats it up every time. He’s obsessed with watching them.

• I can imagine him calling you during his promotion sketch videos. Seen giggling on the phone to you, excited to talk to you after his promotions. Sometimes you might even make a cameo in them

• You’re always seen discretely wearing his clothes

[jmdbjk]

Episode 8: Promise for Tomorrow

Beyond the Star, produced by HYBE Media Studio

You could say the Yet to Come concert in Busan was the final cap on Chapter 1 or you could say it is the bridge between 1 and 2 for the group.

It was controversial from the start. There was a lot of turmoil surrounding the planning of this concert, the reason it was planned and the actual logistics of making it happen in less than 3 months. K-Army fought hard for this event to take place responsibly and safely.

That stadium they performed in was in terrible condition just WEEKS before they were to perform. Panels were missing all around on the outside due to being blown off by a previous hurricane. We're talking MAJOR REPAIRS had to be made in a matter of FOUR WEEKS when they finally settled on this venue after going back and forth on where to hold the concert:

By the miracles that the universe keeps bestowing on BTS, the venue was ready, the city was in festival mode and over 50,000 concert-goers attended this event FOR FREE.

This concert was very emotional for all of them. It was the last moment for them as a group for a long time. I'm glad they were able to finish off the first ten years like this. It was epic.

The members talk about the unknowns, how they might present themselves in the future. They want to see if they can come back as a proper group and show it can be done and done well, even in their 30s.

Namjoon says they hope they can comeback with a balance between group and individual activities, they want to try to show how an idol group can mature and still be successful. They are all on the same page with this.

But they and Army must have faith in each other to let the time go by in order for the growth to happen and in order for them to fulfill their obligation.

Yoongi said they had something to prove with their performance at Yet to Come in Busan: that they still had it. They worked hard, reported to work early, stayed behind late to keep practicing. He feels strongly this won't change with them as time passes.

This is someone who is able to see the synergy of the individuals who make up the whole.

By this time, Hobi had already released Jack in the Box and had performed at Lollapalooza and was feeling more confident about all of it:

From the very structured days that Hobi likes to the totally free-spirited Jungkook, they have shared some very intimate moments in this episode.

Hobi says they have to learn how to rest and be on their own, do their own thing, think for themselves.

Tae and Namjoon individually speak about how this level of fame and success they've achieved, especially in the last three years, is something they had trouble grappling with. That level was not what they'd anticipated. They have to ask themselves what was it they had initially wanted to do?

Then we get a big reveal: Jin's posse of friends. They are in the car going somewhere and the music track playing is Life Goes On, a callback to the opening scene of the song's MV. They are going camping. Jin shares that these guys hang out at his house even when he's not there, welcoming him home when he gets there. Jin, a gamer guy who's told us he can play video games for days and forgets to eat while doing it, made us think he was all alone ... and here has had this great group of friends this whole time. He knows his group of friends are rare to have in the world of celebrity.

And an extremely intimate moment when Jungkook visits his healthcare provider for a health visit. He's just like me, I can't watch them sticking that needle in my arm to take blood or whatever it is his healthcare provider is doing. Omega-3 supplements after midday and evening meals and vitamin D at night. And he is guilty of patient non-compliance because he's not drinking the liquid supplement they prescribed. For as healthy as he seems to be, that's a lot of prescribed supplements. And this is some very, very personal information he's sharing with us.

This episode is hard to watch, y'all. I keep having to stop and dry up my tears. Omg then Take Two starts to play after Jin gets his head shaved. One heart rip after the other... and then the credits roll while Spring Day plays.

Bottomline, this series shows the tightness, the oneness, the knowledge that these seven men have forged a bond that makes them family and will keep them together as they continue on with their lives. They've tied their identities to BTS so tightly that they will never not be known as the seven original and only members of BTS.

They all want the same thing. As Tae says, they now have to make it through their military enlistment healthy...

We were shown a much wider picture of how their lives are and were especially since 2019.

Their words, their tone of voice, the memories, the visual cues and reminders are all to help us understand what they've done, how far they've come and what they've had to overcome and how they felt about all of it.

The docu-series concept overall was to convey the members thoughts about their careers, past, present and future. I was extremely interested in hearing in their own words, what it was like being a member of BTS in those first years.

I listened to what the members had to say, I assimilated that into what I already know. It moves chronologically. If you think of it as the members of today telling their story, it plays more like a narrated movie. A movie of their lives.

We saw images that helped us understand the things they were talking about, the things they'd been feeling and thinking as they sorted through the years. Each episode focused on a period of time.

The basic things they said: they went through some hell, they tried to figure out this popularity thing, pandemic fucked with them, mental health issues were a problem, they worked through that, they finally worked through what enlistment and after could be and they are all in a good place. Through it all, they remain committed to each other and to the group.

I know some were saying the editing was choppy or events were out of order, but this docu-series was not supposed to be a chronologic retelling of the history of BTS and it wasn't just a listing of their milestones. Whoever said that didn't watch any of it.

It moves along in a way that conveys how they started, what their mindset was then and shows us how they've evolved over time. Scenes from the past help convey emotions and feelings, reflecting on the depth of memories they have from their career. The clips we see can't begin to convey how dense and rich all of those experiences are for them and don't come close to touching the number of hours they've spent on stage during their career.

Production of this documentary began long ago, as shown by all the different interviews conducted. When producing a documentary created from interviews, there is an outline of points to convey and obviously there was a camera person and probably a director/producer to prompt the interview. In other words the interviewer may have said "tell us what your favorite concert memory is" or "let's talk about how you felt when the MOTS tour was cancelled." The member talks, and then maybe the next question is "what were you feeling/thinking when you sat on your sofa for days?" and the member talks, then "when did you feel like (insert whatever)... (member talks)... etc. and let the member being interviewed say everything they want to say, or if they go off on a tangent, they'd bring them back to the topic to make sure there was enough footage/soundbites from each member. There is typically no dialogue "script" for a documentary unless it has a narrated voice-over. I have done this sort of thing in the course of my work career. Documentaries can be very flexible but are meant to be factual.

My criticisms: I saw one or two instances that should have been corrected: they labeled the UN building as Oakland. There were a few translated phrases that were a tad awkwardly structured.

Anyway, long-time fans might already know the history of BTS and know wayyyy more details about how everything went down, even more so than what was shown in this series. It's the newer fans that will benefit a lot from watching this. As we know, the amount of content to "catch up" on is ENORMOUS. Ask me, I know this. This documentary series is a very condensed history that would definitely benefit newer fans.

I hope I was able to summarize everything clearly in these blog posts.

[dearweirdme]

Hi Rain, I've seen some discussions about RM being bisexual because of this recent album. Specifically, in his song "Nuts," he says, "She's a pro rider" and then goes on to say, "He's a pro rider," which, you know, is basically talking about sex. So, I can honestly see where people are coming from. Especially since last year we saw him with that one guy a lot, and then mysteriously one day he decides to delete everything related to him on Instagram. But I digress.

So, my question to you is, why do you think Tae and JK aren't more vocal about their sexuality? The main consensus I've seen online for a while is that tkk (or any ship, really) can't come out or be more vocal because it could cause issues with the group or that Korea is still very homophobic. But then you have RM and Yoongi, who have been pretty vocal about liking both men and women... So, I just don't really understand it.

Hi anon!

I haven’t had the chance to do a deep dive into Namjoon’s lyrics yet.. so I can’t say much about my thoughts on those yet (doing some renovations on my house.. which are going very much Namjoon style 😂… and is quite time consuming..). From what I’ve gathered from the Minimoni interview is that Namjoon went through a lot. I think going through a breakup might have been part of that, but I also think it was probably much more than that. He mostly talks about struggling with being himself because of having been RM from BTS for so long. I think Namjoon’s struggle to get to himself and everything that entailed coming to that point is what the album is about. Maybe his sexuality is a part of that? But I don’t think that is the part that he felt the need to share the most.

So why aren’t Jk and Tae more vocal? I actually think Tae is sharing a lot. Maybe not through his lyrics, but to me the clear portrayal of queer couples in Fri(end)s was pretty huge, as was him wearing that pride Disney hoody. And there’s way more things that Tae has done that would/could indicate his feelings towards queerness all throughout the years. I think we should probably separate the idea that Tae and Jk coming out as a couple and them showing their individual sexualities are the same thing. I find the possibility of them (mostly Tae though) coming out as queer after enlistment much more likely than them announcing their relationship (and even then I don’t think it would be a hard coming out, but rather more freedom to incorporate queerness in their work (mv’s, songs). To me it’s more like a loosening of the restraints than total freedom I suppose.

In general though, I think what matters most is whether someone actually wants to share those parts of their lives. I don’t think either Namjoon or Yoongi have been clear about their sexuality in a way that makes it clear to a broader audience that they are queer. For instance, no media outlet has picked up on it (for as far as I know). I don’t think they have that freedom, but I also think they might be hesitant to make statements that huge at this moment in time themselves. The way Namjoon spoke in the Minimoni episode to me made clear that there’s so much he had to keep inside (not specifically about their sexualities, but possibly including that) it felt like a burden. Namjoon seems to have the strong urge to share some parts of himself that he could not share before as RM from BTS. He was representing the group as a whole and their songs and interviews also had to represent the group as a whole. I think there was little room for individuality. Now for some this was a struggle (Namjoon, Tae (I think), Yoongi (perhaps)) but I think others felt differently. I think Jk doesn’t feel the need to share his personal struggles and battles the way some of the other members did (at least not at this point in time.. can’t say how he would feel in the future). The way Jk spoke about Golden to me felt like he was keen to try out new things, to see what he could do and what he could accomplish, but I did not feel like Golden was his way of expressing his feelings and emotions and his own life story… neither did I feel that was something he was interested in doing but didn’t have the chance to. I think Jk very much wants to keep his personal life personal.

In general.. I don’t think we can assume that every queer artist also wants to share that part of themselves with the whole world. Sk being homophobic is a part of that ofcourse, but speaking about sexuality can also just be something a person themselves just doesn’t want to make public for all sorts of reasons.

[taekooktimeline]

August 5, 2023 -

Jungkook goes live! Fans ask him to play Taehyung’s “Winter Bear.”

Timestamp 1:26:16

I highly encourage you to watch Jk as he watches it. For the first approximately fourteen seconds, he doesn’t blink, eyes fixed on his screen (when the birds fly and Tae is taking photographs).

Throughout watching the MV, Jk will sometimes stare without blinking for a spell (1:27:41-1:27:54, 1:27:58-1:28:14 are two other examples). His gaze is soft, and sometimes his mouth puckers up (the below are two instances of when his mouth softly purses). It’s really sweet to watch. He hums along before starting to toggle between humming and singing the song.

Snippets - https://twitter.com/taekookalbum/status/1687527626464964608?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

https://twitter.com/_btsmoments_/status/1687528031257350144?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

And here is a snippet of him not blinking for a length of time - https://twitter.com/moni_butter/status/1687531893913509888?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Mona shared a beautiful splice edit of Jk watching Tae’s “Winter Bear” that I would encourage people to watch - https://twitter.com/_k91230v_/status/1687536880760619008?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

As a friendly reminder, on July 24, 2019, we got a BB of Taekook laying in bed together, watching Tae’s “Winter Bear” MV.

CTTO

Recap (please note I’m unsure if the dog is Jk’s, but at the time of writing, when two of us worked on this blog, we didn’t disclaim disagreements, so it’s left as a statement we didn’t think it was his dog. But in 2023, I can say I’m actually unsure and open to discussions) - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2019/625211404246548480

BB - https://youtu.be/oU_OmKOZtMs

In early August 2019, Jk picks the purple paper, which is revealed to be Tae, who he must award a certificate to. He awards him the poetic and beautiful “I thought you’d be beyond my imagination but then I think again and you’re way beyond my imagination” award, for his work on “Scenery” and “Winter Bear.”

Gifting the award -

Recap (and as has been noted numerous times, utilizing clips and videos doesn’t mean endorsement of the content creator; sometimes, it’s the best I can find to show a moment) - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2019/626871253873082368/early-august-2019

On April 9, 2020, Jimin suggests the maknae line sing “Winter Bear” for Festa 2020. No surprise, the subtitles don’t pick it up, but K ARMY said Jk said, “Ahh it’s my song!”

Recap - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/640123827258589184/bts-sing-karaoke-as-part-of-festa-2020-the-maknae

August 2020, BTS film “Break the Silence” commentary.

As members watch the screen, they speculate what the next clip will be, guessing it’ll be France. To their surprise, it’s London, with solo shots of Tae. Yoongi mentions his guitar teacher was in the city at the same time, before Jk excitedly interjects in recognition that Tae filmed his “Winter Bear” MV here. He says this twice, before the song had even started playing (which I find telling), nudging Tae in his excitement. As it airs, Jk continuously praises his style, softly smiles while watching, and sings along (after, it transitions to Tae’s “Singularity” which also gets Jk excited, and has him rub Tae’s head affectionately by the end of the performance!)

Recap - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/642468005010407424/august-2020-the-18th-or-a-bit-sooner

Link to Winter Bear on YT - https://youtu.be/pk7ESz6vtyA

As an aside, this has nothing to do with Taekook but I’m obsessed with Jk’s pink microwave😭

CTTO for finding and creating the above collage

[stormblessed95]

Hiii stormie my dear, how are you? first of all, i wanted to say that i adore your blog and i think u are a breath of fresh air here. Thank you! Because i trust u, I wanted to say some things im thinking about since seven released, i hope u dont mind.

Ok, like jk says: lets get it! Right, I do understand people feeling sad about jimin and face era. It was awful how sabotaged he was, and i still dont get what really happened and i'm mad to whatever or whoever is responsible for it. But i'm seeing so many people doubting the veracity in jungkookie's success with seven and i'm hating it. I dont think the song is getting payola, nor playlists by paying for it and neither ads on youtube. First, the song was sent to radios, but just a few of them r playing it, one of them being a guy who loves to plays "k-pop" songs. If there was payola, it would be playing everywhere all the time already. The playlist thing: just like "like crazy eng. ver", seven entered the Today's Top Hits playlist. But at #23 place. I just saw a tweet by a guy talking about this: https://twitter.com/cantorpedia/status/1680258574688088066?s=20. We know that there's some shady thing happening in this playlist for a while, and if seven have deals to get this high debut numbers, it would had debuted at the top in the playlist, even in the cover (it may go up next week, because there is supposed to be some internal logic that the more a song receives streams IN the playlist, the more it rises). Also, seven had a huge filtering in spotify, just like all BTS' songs, which also shows that they r not making deals. Now, about Youtube ads... i saw a person posting a ss about seeing an ad of the song, but apparently is fake.

Seven is doing AWESOME numbers because: its a english catchy song, with a cute mv, sang by THEE Jeon Jungkook. Im not joking, seven is really a gp success.. yesterday i saw 3 people from my daily life and inner circle talking about loving the song. My sister, who is not an army, said that she listened to the song all day while i was not home. Gp is loving it. So they did with butter (which is a eng song too), but Seven has a differential: the clean and explict version r being counted combined. Plus, seven is doing awesome everywhere, even in korean charts.

If there was something shady going on, i dont think they would make more than 1 version for the song, even on youtube (there is a new perfomance video for the explict ver). They would just send to radios and count on the payola and the deals w spotify, tiktok, youtube, for the charts (thats what most western artists does). But since billboard started filtering the songs so much so that made like crazy drop from 1 to 45 in a week and then stopped counting digital versions from usa based artist stores, BTS had to start making available to fans different versions of the same song because they know they cant count on radio, but can count on the sales and streams. Since Like Crazy, i feel like Hybe is experimenting ways of overcoming the sabotage by the industry.

The thing is, i think we can and should talk and raise questions about how jimin was treated badly, in every chart and streaming platform. For example, views from youtube were not being frozen in Yoongi's songs too, just like jk's. So, its not a privilege that jk is receiving, its just that something was really happening with face promotions, who knows what and why. But that was not jk's or any member fault.

Anyway, i'm happy for jk and i know much more is coming his way. And i cant wait for jimin to make a new comeback soon too. I hope it all goes well yk, Jimin deserves the best in his promotions just like jk and the other members. Lets hope. I'm sorry for hijacking your tumblr for this rant, im hoping u have some thoughts on the subject

Rant shared. I shared my thoughts about most of this a few weeks ago, I'm sure anyone who wants to can still scroll to go find it all, I'm not *really* wanting to open it all back up for discussion again. People are VILE honestly. I enjoy the song, it's fun, it's not much more than that and it's clearly made to be a western audience radio hit. Jungkook deserves and has my full support though! 💜 thanks for sharing

[yoonia]

Hey Dia, I meant to add this to my last ask but have you ever had (or do you have) any desire to write a seven deadly sins AU at some point? And if you do, do you know who you would cast as who? And if it’s cool sharing with you, I have 2 different fic outlines; one I made back in 2020 and another one more recently (which is a remake more or less).

From what I’ve read in the past, a lot of times the members (as the embodiments of the 7 sins) are portrayed as being pure evil and stuff, which isn’t bad by any means. If I ever write my own fic though, I would probably do something slightly different. Like yeah, I’d likely write the members as the embodiments of the 7 sins (like other fics) and maybe they would appear evil at first, but I would also probably humanize them and then get redeemed. Another idea I’ve had in mind is writing them as separate stories with different OCs, but they would all be in 1 book and in the same universe.

As for who I would cast as each of the sins, I’m still figuring it out. Like, I’d probably cast someone with a sin that would either be the polar opposite of their personality irl, or just simply choose one that I think the members give vibes of. For example, I’ve thought about associating Yoongi with the sin of sloth because he’s known to be a hard-working person, which would make a nice contrast. But in more recent memory, now I think he gives off a lot more wrath vibes. I mean, look at his solo albums. He’s savage spitfire straight up, lol. But hey, that’s just my opinion 😉

I was inspired from a video I saw on a YouTube channel called “school of life”. If you’re curious, you should totally look up their seven deadly sins video. Even if you don’t have plans to write a fic on this au, I’d still give it a watch. It really goes deep in depth with how the 7 sins align from a psychological perspective.

Anyway, take care again!💜

(Actually, come to think of it, it’s good that I sent this ask separately because I tend to underestimate how much I tend to write when sending messages, haha…😅)

Don't worry about sending long messages haha I always love it when you come and share with me your ideas and stories since they're so creative. You know, I always love the idea of portraying the members as the seven deadly sins. I know I've read some of the good ones written in the past under this same trope.

I also love your idea about writing them as the embodiment of the seven sins but not at all evil. I think it'll be more interesting to write something more human out of this trope, since a lot what I've seen always lean towards a darker theme. Which is understandable since they are meant to be sins.

As a matter of fact, I did plan a series based on the seven deadly sins. It was published for a while (with only one story out) before I decided not to continue it. The series was called Ghostown which is now saved in my archive, and it was meant to be progressively darker as the chapters continue. I didn't specify which sins the members were in the masterlist since I was planning to do a little game with the readers and have them guess who was which, but things didn't go as planned because I've discontinued it since. Here's the overall role placements though if you're interested (under cut because spoilers lol)

Gosh, you got me opening an old draft again haha. I also only realised now that I named Jungkook's part as Dreamers...long before his song came out...and I mean looonnng ago lol

Anyway, I fully support you for writing this idea if you ever get the chance to. I also always love the concept of writing different stories in one universe. It just gives us a different kind of experience when you create an entire universe that way with interlinked stories made in it.

ps. Yoongi as wrath??? I'm seeing it. I think the character he portrayed in Hageum MV totally showed this side of him.

[starryjkoo]

PJM2 + Solo Music Timeline Theory pt2

So I already did my big desperate timeline prediction post, but now that we got RPWP and another possible PJM2 hint with MMM, I do have some updated thoughts. So here’s a pt2.

I’m going to stick with my prediction that PJM2 could be a summer album, and if so I think that a July release would make a lot of sense considering the album release pattern that has sort of emerged (although one time is definitely not enough to establish a pattern lol).

Basically there was exactly two months between the release of HOTS (march 29th) and RPWP (may 24th), and exactly one month between HOTS release and RPWP preorders. That means if we keep the same pattern the next album will come out at the end of July with preorders opening end of June.

This would actually be perfect considering the first half of June is going to be dedicated to Jin’s return and FESTA. What better way to cap off FESTA celebrations than an album announcement? And this schedule is the perfect way to keep content flowing without gaps or too much overlap.

We know for FESTA content we’re getting Jin’s return, RPWP MV #4 (iirc), and my guess would be possibly Jikook show teaser/announcement, maybe a group single from the vault like Take Two? There might be some more subunit variety content like MMM too. I’m sure they have some stuff planned. Plus Jin returning will be huge.

Also this album release order would follow another pattern (that might be unintentional) but basically it would be following their debut album release order: JITB -> Indigo -> FACE, HOTS -> RPWP -> PJM2

If JK releases a single after PJM2 it would also somewhat follow this pattern considering Seven came after FACE, and I don’t think Yoongi is going to be dropping music if he’s really keeping an extra low profile because of alternative enlistment. Although Fri(end)s would be the outlier here, so maybe I’m overthinking this part lol.

I still think the Jikook show could come out during the summer and be used to promote both of Jikook’s music releases. JK also hinted that he had something big in the summer so I’m still assuming it’s going to be a single (unless he’s the one with an album).

I somehow forgot about JKs documentary when I made my last post. I can’t remember if there was any actual information about when it would be released? But if we don’t have any idea, I could see September working really well if they use his birthday month like Jimin did for the Production Diary.

If JK has a single in August it would flow perfectly into Golden documentary and bonus documentary content in September. If he’s the one to release music in July I could also see it being released for Seven anniversary too.

But there’s definitely enough time for Jikook to both release music between June - August if one of them is releasing a single and the other an album, although that would be crazy considering Jikook are probably going to have the most intense releases as far as charting goes. I could see either of them releasing in September/October too. I won’t survive if we have to wait until 2025 for PJM2 so I’m not going to entertain that train of thought just yet, and JK said summer for himself so.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see. I really have no idea! This is definitely probably way too much speculation based on absolutely nothing substantial 😭 but this is how I keep myself sane while the fandom implodes.

But yeah, my current prediction timeline is

First half of June - Jin return, FESTA content, RPWP MV, maybe Jikook show teaser 2nd half of June - PJM2 announcement and preorders 1st half of July - possible PJM2 prerelease and content, maybe Jikook show starts 2nd half of July - PJM2, MMM mini edition August - JK releases a single or EP + Jikook show could start if it hasn’t yet September - possible JK documentary with extra content and rollout similar to Jimin’s Production Diary, or once again Jikook show if it hasn't started yet October - Hobi returns, maybe Jin album announcement? (if we were following previous pattern it would be an album at the end of the month, but that's probably way too soon)

And then obviously the rest of the year will be mostly Jin album, maybe also a single, and various promotions and activities + not sure how soon Hobi will start releasing content but he did say he had plans post-enlistment so we’ll definitely see something. And I do think a mini tour in 2025 seems crazy but possible. That would absolutely fill up the beginning of the year with something big and exciting to tide ARMYs over until June.

I can’t remember if Namjoon or Taehyung mentioned documentaries for their albums? But that could happen too, and I’m sure that the enlisted members have more surprises outside of their major music releases considering MMM came out of nowhere, so maybe some mini subunit variety content, or some more singles and collabs.

Still I hope this timeline is right. I don’t think I could handle a much longer wait for PJM2 or the travel show tbh 😭

[youremychaos]

Harrow, my love…it’s been a while hasn’t it? Life has been crazy these last few months, and I completely missed your update. However, I am here now and ready to dig in!!

First of all I completely forgot that Jimin woke up in Yoongi’s pov (had to backtrack a little lol)…which threw me for a whole ass loop when I started reading this ‘cause what do you mean JIMIN?! The way my heart stopped and I wiggled in my seat. My baby has come the fuck home!!

How dare you throw Haegeum!Yoongi in my face like this…that man has me in a chokehold that I don’t wanna be let out of. The image of Taehyung wearing a balaclavas does something to my core…those eyes just peeking out…yeah, sir whatever you want, you can have it.

Okay the build up of Yoongi coming up to see MC is crazy, my vibrating in my seat! I want them to link up again already!!! Joon too, that man needs a good hug. 

The main character has arrived!!! Yoooooonnnngggiiiiii…what an entrance my guy! Stroll in with a pair of bloody chopsticks and a simple, “Darling”...what a charmer.

You would be amused by the visual of Yoongi leaping onto him like a kitten if the situation were not so infuriating.

This right here? Yummy and funny. I like your visual even though I’ve seen it with my own eyes from the mv.

Coming up to the end of the first half, I know Yoongi is feeling all types of kicked sideways. Bringing Jimin is a huge gamble and kind of manipulative all things considered. If anyone could bring MC back it would be Jimin but I don’t think he would push for her to join them again. I feel that Jimin more than anyone can understand where MC is coming from and her mixed emotions about everything that has taken place so far. It seems that Yoongi knew his gamble might not work and has something else up his sleeve. He isn’t the type to just leave so willingly. 

MC comparing Yoongi and Ryujin hurts. I can see what she means but damn does it hurt to admit it. After all is said and done, Yoongi is a shady ass dude with a shaky track record in love. The way he goes about things aren’t always clear and are often very infuriating. So, I can see why MC is reluctant to go back. The song lyric “How deep is your love?” comes to mind when I think of the trio together. Namjoon and Yoongi would kill for MC and if push comes to shove, I think she could do the same but she would feel bad about it whereas Namgi just keep it pushing like it didn’t happen. I have so many thoughts and feelings about this but I shall read more to see what’s going on.

Harrow, you play dirty! ATEEZ as bodyguards?! How am I going to survive this fic, huh?! You’ve pulled so many of my favorite idols into this universe that I don’t know who to drool over…it is unfair! But I will say, ATEEZ do fit the vibe, so good choice!

“Not so fast,” she says, causing you to chuckle despite yourself. “You always roll away. Snore in my face for once.”

Affronted, you attempt to wiggle out of her hold, surprised by how strong she is as she holds you in place. “I do not snore.”

Hwasa rolls her eyes, says, “Everyone snores a little,” and wiggles closer as her hold on you loosens—so close your noses nearly touch.

I love that you can include such innocent and cute scenes in between the death, sorrow and destruction. 

Jimin is alive and well, the way I was tearing up as they hugged. But started giggling right after seeing how Ryujin and Hwasa left MC to be stuck in between Yoongi and Namjoon. What good friends they are lol

The one on one talk went a lot better than I thought it would. MC needed to let those tears out with Yoongi and I’m more at ease that he is willing to wait for her mental health to get better. Healing takes time and having him/the guys not push for her to come home too soon means a lot. Goodbyes and hellos are hard, but the way you pulled apart each interaction was wonderful, the tension between Jungkook and MC is still there which I love. I tend to forget that they have their own thing going on at times because I get so wrapped up in Namgi/MC.

There is a subtle shift in the family dynamics or I could just be reading too much into it but with Seokjin’s bullshit out in the open, it seems to me that everyone is a little more relaxed. Not as on edge with being alive. 

Oh shit…things are bout to take a turn for the worst right? Now that I’m thinking about it, does Hwasa know what Christian looks like? Does Ryujin? And if so…would she give MC easily or put up a fight? Ryujin is asking waaaayyyy too many questions about MC's relationship with the family men and Hwasa is giving up too much information...I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I am starting to not trust Ryujin again. Her dinner speech had me on edge, like it was a backhanded request almost…kind of on the lines of “we’ll be cool once i’m back in my rightful place”. I could be wrong but idk, that’s the feeling I got. I’m not trusting Ryujin at all right now! What do you mean, it doesn’t matter? I swear if she was/is messing around with Christian, I’ll scream!

I mean it is possible she could have a relationship with Hwasa but I doubt that. I think it would be with someone that holds more power. Ryujin is starting to show her ass and I’m not a fan. If you were married/dating whatever with Yoongi in the past, keep that shit to yourself! Telling MC that nothing has changed or that you were the same as her…that’s just evil. Planting seeds of doubt when there really doesn’t need to be any….but if I want to play devil’s advocate, if Yoongi does truly feel something for MC he should treat her differently than how he treated Ryujin. On the other hand, he has an image to uphold, so certain styles are expected as the woman of the house.

I hope Yoongi puts a fucking bullet in Ryujin’s skull, right between her eyes! This slimy two-faced bitch! Harmless my ass! I want to reach through the screen and punch Ryujin myself! Damnit, I am so pissed off. You know MC’s history or at least a little with Christian. She knows MC wants nothing to do with him and once Yoongi finds out all bets are off. There is no respect or trust to be gained. Whatever good could have come with working together will be shot to shit cause it will be an all out war over MC.

I’m trying to think of what chapter it was but there was a part where either Yoongi or MC was trying to figure out how Christian got so much power. I know that Seokjin was a part of it but could Ryujin be too? Is there more to Seokjin that still hasn’t been uncovered yet? Once again this man is on my shit list. He knows more than he is willing to tell and Ryujin is on some kind of other shit that will backfire for sure.

Once again, I am left at the end of the chapter with so many theories and questions. I love that every character is so freaking two-faced. I never know what to expect. I'm excited to see what you whip up next and I'm prepared to scream about it. At some point I'll scream in your dms when I get the chance.

I love you and your mind!!!

Collateral 🗡️ 23: This life of death and destruction

Your ex-boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.

But was it simply a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or has he always had his sights on you?

🗡️ Yoongi x Female Reader x Namjoon

🗡️ word count: 13.6k

🗡️ mafia au, strangers to lovers, graphic violence, major character injury, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit 21+ 

🗡️warnings: violence (a man gets stabbed in the eye, weaponized chopsticks, blood); recreational drug use & getting drunk; vomit.

🗡️note: are we ready to continue this story??? the cast of characters has doubled in size, and i think the angst & drama has multiplied, as well. i wrote this opening scene on april 20, 2023 moments after watching the Haegeum mv. it feels good to have finally built the rest of the chapter around it over a year later. this chapter is like 80% dialogue, lol sorry. we are setting up for what is to come in the rest of the fic. enjoyyy!!!

🗡️ also note: in this chapter, mc is borrowing clothing. if you are comfortable with imagining the clothing belongs to the thin kpop idols, please do. if you are not, then please don't. i am not making assumptions or allusions to body size but instead trying to paint a picture of being at the mercy of others.

🗡️ if you have not read the Yoongi POV chapter, i strongly recommend you do so before reading this.

🗡️ beta read by @neoneunnajimin

🗡️ posted sept. 2024 | read on ao3

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“He looks hesitant,” Ryujin drawls in a bored tone. She turns to face you and her lips upturn at the edges, eyes sparkling. “Like he’s scared of what he may find when he gets here.”

The air is stiflingly hot, creating a sticky film over your skin, and your body feels heavier than it should. In this humidity, you are dizzy and agitated. More than anything, you are not ready to come face to face with the man who has caused you so much confusion and mental duress.

“Good,” you say, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. Your fingers dig into your hip bones, and you do your best not to shuffle anxiously. You do not fully believe in your conviction, but you want your performance to be believable enough that the girls don't think you're weak. “He should be.”

“Looks like he brought all the family men,” she adds, turned back to watch their approach. 

Your heart flutters suddenly, wondering whether she means Jimin is there too, unable to hide the tremble in your voice as you ask, “A-all of them?”

This time, when Ryujin faces you, her expression appears contemplative, almost sad. 

“All of them,” she confirms, causing nausea and excitement to stir. 

All you can say in response is, “Oh.”

Before you can stop yourself, your feet are carrying you forward, toward the window. You do not fully approach, not wanting to be seen, so you stop as soon as you spot them walking in the street toward the noodle shop downstairs that doubles as your hideout. 

Seven figures approach in a V formation. Six of them wear ratty dark t-shirts and khaki pants, and they hold what look like juvenile weaponry—baseball bats and chains. Over their heads are balaclavas, reminding you of Christian's men. Is it meant to taunt him, you wonder. Do they think they will find him and his men here?

Yoongi is in the center, leading the charge, with no face covering and wearing a baby blue satin bomber jacket with thick white lines down the sleeves. On the breasts of the jacket are embroidered dragon heads, reminding you of Namjoon. 

Namjoon. The thought of seeing him again, like this, makes your insides stir. You feel the urge to vomit, but you hold your ground and watch as the men approach, wearing a frown on your lips. 

When the heads disappear from sight, you turn and listen for the silence that lingers in the air, save for the thrum of your pulse. A calm before a terrible storm.

Ryujin lets out a long, loud trill of a whistle—a signal, no doubt—and you listen as the 

hideout breaks out into chaos. Men scramble through the short hallway that leads out into the open space that Yoongi and his men will soon enter. 

"No guns!" Ryujin commands as she stomps through the space toward the hallway, clad in a white tank top tucked into a short black tennis skirt and tall leather equestrian boots. "You are on the defense only. Do not harm a single hair on any of these men's bodies. Do so and you die!"

As you stand near the window, you listen to the street commotion below. Vehicles drive along the narrow roads, vendors shout while ringing bells and chimes, and in the distance, a dog barks. 

You know that you will not hear the men's approaching footfalls, but you listen for them, anyway. Yoongi and the family men only need to walk through the small dining hall of the open-air restaurant below, then up a flight of stairs. You hear nothing that might give their positions away. 

"Wanna hide?" Hwasa—the nickname of your darling friend Hyejin—asks. She rests her chin on your shoulder and loosely wraps her arms around you, engulfing you in a perfume of roses and lilies.

You shake your head and mutter, "No," watching the doorway for any movement.

Finally, heavy footfalls echo through the space, giving you goosebumps, and when you hear the sounds of shouting followed by someone running into the room, you hold your breath. 

"Fuck, fuck!" a man yells as he rounds the corner and cowers, shaking like a leaf in the wind. He seems to be patting himself down for a weapon, then he sighs and squeezes his eyes closed as he presses his back to the wall. 

"Ya!" Hwasa yells, making the man gasp. "What is it?"

"B-big Duri," the man stammers, eyes wide. He shakes his head quickly as if attempting to clear away his thoughts. 

Duri is a hulk of a man who stands watch at the top of the stairs. He is as muscular as he is tall, with a bit of softness around his belly, and his towering status has earned him the title Big Duri from the other men. One snarl from him makes men cower away in fear.

"What about him?" Hwasa asks.

"He was s-stabbed," the man says, staring at the floor. "In the f-f-fucking eye."

Hwasa drops her arms from around you and stands up straight. You open your mouth to speak but find no sound can pass your lips. 

Footfalls approach, heavy and fast. You are not sure who you expect storming in from the hallway, but for some reason, it is not Yoongi. 

He walks in assuredly like he owns the place, dark hair framing his face in waves. Clenched in his right fist are two bright red chopsticks that look like the ones served at the restaurant downstairs, and you could swear the thinner ends of them are dripping with blood. 

"Darling, let's go," Yoongi says, wide eyes fixed on you. He looks like a madman with his hair somewhat disheveled and a sheen of sweat on his throat.  

You are surprised to see Yoongi dressed as he is. Under the pastel jacket is a white tee tucked into loose-fitting blue jeans. When was the last time you saw him in blue jeans? Your first trip to Hong Kong?

You heavy-blink, breaking from the thought process, and attempt to hold steady and keep cool. But you do not feel cool. Your pulse quickens, and you worry you might faint. 

"I'm staying here," you say, voice trembling. 

You half expect Yoongi to storm over and grab you by the arm. Part of you even feels saddened when he stays where he is. 

"Darling," Yoongi says, lifting his free hand to wave you over. "I'm not asking you twice."

"How many men did you kill out there?" you ask, eyes on the chopsticks that drip blood beside his dusty white sneaker. Yoongi's arm drops to his side and he heaves a weighty sigh, shoulders falling. 

Behind Yoongi, Ryujin saunters in. She grins and stands beside Yoongi, resting her head against his shoulder as she reaches for the bloodied chopsticks in his fist, saying, "You owe me a bodyguard."

Yoongi—whose eyes never leave you—throws the chopsticks to the floor, off to the side. They clatter against the uneven wood, and you wince at the thought of blood splattering. 

He mutters, "Fine." 

With that admission, you surmise that Yoongi has, indeed, stabbed Big Duri in the eye. How he managed to do so when he is so much smaller than the man is beyond you. You would be amused by the visual of Yoongi leaping onto him like a kitten if the situation were not so infuriating. 

Slowly, Ryujin lifts her head from Yoongi's shoulder. She turns her gaze to you as she says, "She doesn't want this life, Yoongi. She told you so, herself."

"Darling," Yoongi says, seemingly ignoring Ryujin, making her roll her eyes. "I will make some changes. We will figure it out. Just come home."

You shake your head. "I told you I wanted to leave."

"You are in danger," Yoongi insists, and you scoff. For the first time since you have arrived to this dingy place, there has been no hint of violence until he turned up. 

As Yoongi sighs, his nostrils flair. You can clearly see that he has something on his mind, but he remains still and silent. 

Anger rises, and you clench your fists at your sides. This is not the reunion you expected, but you cannot say you are shocked. "I told you I no longer want this life, and the first thing you do is stab a man—a good man!"

"Darling, I—" 

"Go home," you interrupt. 

Yoongi watches you, expression cold save for a flicker of sadness in his eyes. Every nerve in your body wants to propel you forward and into his arms, but you do not want to return to the home of a maniac who attacks men with chopsticks, beautiful as that maniac may be. 

"I have told you time and again that I cannot handle this life of death and destruction! And here you are, bringing it straight to my feet. Go home, Yoongi."

Yoongi tongues the inside of his cheek, raising his eyebrows. In the doorway, you see Namjoon appear, balaclava raised to his forehead. His dark grey tee is smeared with sweat and blood, and before he can open his mouth to speak, you turn around. There is absolutely no way you will be able to keep your strength if you are forced to face any more of them. 

"She wants you to leave," Hwasa says. You are grateful for her as you hear the heels of her boots against the rickety hardwood. "Now!"

"I want to speak to her," Namjoon says, and you are surprised to hear Yoongi say, "She does not wish to speak. Come on."

As their deep, low voices mutter, tears fill your eyes. You breathe in deeply, hoping to ward them off, but as you exhale, the air comes out shattered, and you know that you are only moments away from crying. 

"Tomorrow night, we can sit down and discuss matters," Ryujin says. 

You keep your eyes on the late afternoon sky, hanging on her every word. 

"Amicably," she continues. "No weapons. No hot tempers. And you have a man en route to Busan to take Duri's place when we arrive. Deal?"

"All of us?" Namjoon asks, and you fight the edges of your lips, which curl into a sad smile. 

Ryujin sighs. "Yes, all seven of you sordid little devils. Now get the fuck out of my hideout. You gave our darling a scare and I will not have her fainting because of it. I will send you a time and place, and you will show up dressed as respectable men. Seriously, what the fuck are you guys wearing? You look like trash."

Ryujin's voice fades as she continues to berate them, footsteps retreating, and it occurs to you once more that somewhere out in the chaos is Jimin. You turn, and the movement causes Yoongi's head to lift and eyes to open wide and expectantly, standing halfway in the hallway. You were not expecting him to still be here. To your disappointment, Namjoon has already left the room.

"Is Jimin here?" you ask. 

Relief floods Yoongi's face, and he cracks a smile, nodding as he says, "Yes. Come see him."

You shake your head, blinking back the tears that threaten to fall. 

"Glad he's awake," you say. "Perhaps I will see you all tomorrow." 

Yoongi's expression turns sad, and you watch as he mouths the word perhaps before you turn your attention back to the window. The sound of his shoes retreating makes you want to throw up, and you swallow it down as a single tear streaks your left cheek. 

* * *

Ryujin lies on a large fur rug that she has pulled near the window. Atop the rug is a mess of blankets and pillows, and her limbs tangle with those of Hwasa and the other three girls. 

You sit arrow straight on the wide window sill, staring at the street below. The sky slowly darkens, illuminating the buildings with an orange glow that is exaggerated by the neon lights on each restaurant and storefront. 

"Yes, Yoongi," Ryujin says into her phone, playful irritation in her tone. "I swear to you there is nobody by that name in our ranks. Seokjin-oppa has already warned me about his possible presence."

You listen, hoping to hear traces of Yoongi's voice coming through the phone, but you know that it is hopeless; his dulcet tones do not exactly travel far even while in the same room as him. Muffled and at a distance, the notion is hopeless.

"You know," Ryujin continues, "you would have less to worry about if you hadn't stabbed my most trusty security guard in the fucking eye with a chopstick."

Her words make you wince, and you turn away from the window, staring at the empty wall opposite where Ryujin and the girls rest. The floral wallpaper is peeled in places and tinted brown from water damage, but otherwise, the space is clean and empty, save for six suitcases and the items Ryujin has brought in and strewn about for comfort. 

Outside of this room is a hallway that connects to more rooms, though you have not bothered to look into any of them, save for the bathroom, which is the first room to the right as you exit this one. Whatever this hideout was originally built for, you do not know, and you do not care, although you imagine at least one of the rooms could serve as office space for the restaurant below. 

A shrill laugh barks through the air, making you jump. You gaze over your shoulder to find Ryujin's head tilted back, eyes closed as she full-body laughs. 

"Don't be a fucking idiot," she says, opening her eyes to meet your gaze. "No scrub in clown paint is going to buy our little darling from me. Now get some sleep; we'll talk about this tomorrow evening, as promised."

Something about Ryujin calling you our little darling sends a chill along your spine, and you turn back to staring at nothing. She ends the call abruptly, and you hear as her phone clatters against the wooden floor, undoubtedly tossed aside. 

"Darling," Ryujin calls, voice soft and pretty, causing your shoulders to rise to your ears as if protecting you—from what, you are unsure. 

You swallow hard. "Hmm?"

Ryujin giggles. "Come. You're so tense. Relax with us."

She is correct that you are tense. You have been tense for days. When you got into her car at the airport, she said you would be here for two or three days, but it is going on a week, and you are tired of sleeping on rugs in a pile of bodies. You want to return to a bed. Any bed. 

As you turn to face Ryujin and the others, you are struck by a sense of homesickness and longing that makes your stomach churn. Hwasa and three slender beauties called Solar, Wheein, and Moonbyul crowd Ryujin, who sits up on her elbows, gaze fixed on you.

Hwasa's head is against Ryujin's left shoulder, near her breast, and she watches you, as well, gaze soft but pleading. Moonbyul, with her long, straight hair lightened to a pale gold blonde, has her head on Hwasa's tummy, curled in on her. The other two are resting similarly, with Solar clinging to Ryujin and Wheein clinging to Solar, long dark hair draped over limbs which are draped over more limbs clad in white cotton and black spandex. 

You watch them in their near-stillness, questioning where you would fit. Clearly, the five of them are tight. They call her mother, and she proudly dotes on them as if they are her precious children.

Ordinarily, you wait for everyone to begin dozing off, then you curl up on one of the outside edges, back turned from whichever woman is beside you. But you know that Ryujin wants you to be physically close to her—you can tell by the way she watches you.

What would physical closeness to a woman like her entail, you wonder. 

"So shy," Ryujin pouts. "So moody."

Hwasa, as if mirroring her energy, juts out her bottom lip. 

Ryujin tilts her head, studying you. "What does the lady require to help take the edge off?"

Although she is not explicitly saying so, you know that she is offering pills. Every day that you do not give in and crawl to Ryujin and her pile of women, she assumes it is due to some defect in your ability to relax. In a way, you suppose, she is correct. 

"Going home would take the edge off," you respond, voice flat and lacking all mirth.

Ryujin sighs, and her pretty, impish smile falls into a dramatic frown. "I, too, would like to go home. And I promise that we will, soon. Yoongi is convinced there is some third party attempting to track you down, and he has been insistent on weeding the man out. He seems to think that you are safest while remaining in hiding. I, however, think we are sitting ducks."

You hum and nod.

She sits up ever so slightly, causing the clinging women to shift along with her movement. "What do you think?"

What do you think? Such a simple, innocent question, yet it stirs an anger in you that is so deep, festering in the dark pits of you that are fed by lack of proper comfort and sleep. 

There is a part of you that wants to snap at Ryujin and ask whether she really cares what you think. You want to storm up to her, take her by the straps of her white tank top, and shake some sense into her while demanding she returns you to Korea at once. 

Another part of you worries that Yoongi is being too paranoid to think clearly and that he is making an already strange situation worse. You find it hard to believe Christian has weaseled his way into Taiwan and is lying in wait to pounce, if that is what the phone call just now suggests.

But, then again, you never would have imagined Christian would show up with a briefcase of money, nor did you expect to see him turning up to the mansion in the middle of the night. Still, the notion feels ridiculous. You're not in Korea anymore. 

You shrug, purse your lips as if you are thinking it over, and say, "I don't really know."

Truth be told, you are exhausted, catapulting emotionally from one extreme to another, finding it impossible to truly relax. You are not sure whether Ryujin has done anything to deserve your vitriol; she has kept you safe and fed, even if you are slowly succumbing to exhaustion-induced hysteria. 

Her history with Yoongi notwithstanding, she appears reasonable and kind. It is hard to hate her for her past when it has opened up Yoongi's arms to you—for better or worse. It is not as if you regret the time you have spent with him.

And, if you are being honest, you wonder whether the transgression between them was as simple as the men put it, or if there is more to her side of the story. Surely, she did not wake up one day and decide to betray the man she loved.

Or, perhaps, she is charming you the way Yoongi did. What better way to tame a wild beast than to uproot it from the comfort and safety it has grown accustomed to and force it into close proximity, giving it no other choice than to be grateful and eventually feel some semblance of love toward its captor. Maybe she and Yoongi have more in common than you realize.

The thought makes you snicker, and you stand, taking notice of how Ryujin lifts her chin and watches you. Hwasa stirs and sits up, causing Moonbyul to roll off of her with a groan and clench onto the pillow below her.

"Going to the bathroom," you say.

Hwasa stands as Ryujin sing-songs, "Buddy system," causing you to smile and roll your eyes. 

You are not allowed to do anything outside of this room—including taking a shit—without the accompaniment of one of the girls. Lucky for you, Hwasa is always willing and eager to be close.  

Hwasa tiptoes over and snakes an arm around your elbow, momentarily resting her head on your shoulder as the two of you walk. You have come to enjoy her company quite a bit, and you are relieved to have her here. 

While it was shocking to lay eyes on Hwasa after your plane landed in Taiwan, she was very clear and open about her circumstances, and you found it easy to trust her. According to her, Seokjin and Jimin gave her the position at Paradise knowing she was one of Ryujin's women, reminding you of Hyunjin and how he and his family were safe, after all. 

Yoongi may not have been working directly with Ryujin this entire time, but it seems that his men have been. And, judging by how comfortable he seemed with letting Ryujin touch him and boss him around earlier, you do not suspect that he harbors the same ill thoughts that he seemed to when you first encountered her all those months ago. 

You wonder what has changed. Has it been your presence in his life, or something more? After all the destruction Ryujin's team has caused Yoongi's family over the last several months, ending with Jimin in a coma, some sort of truce had to have been made. You have heard whispers of conversations, but you are curious about the specifics. It seems the woman who was at the helm of the destruction, Hyungseo, is not here. 

In due time, you think. You have no doubt Ryujin will open up to you.

As you and Hwasa leave the room and venture quietly into the hall, two armed men look up from the game of Chinese checkers that they play on the floor, and smile. They are beautiful, and you smile back, yanking your gaze away from them before you are able to make any more of an impression on either of them.

Admittedly, you are lonely. Physically, emotionally, sexually…and there is something in the gleams of their eyes that stirs you deeply, but you know that it is not them who do it for you. 

It is their eyes. They share the same piercing, knowing gaze of hunger and brutality that glimmers in the eyes of the family men. Your family men. 

"I think Yunho likes you," Hwasa teases, voice loud enough for him to undoubtedly hear, though you do not turn back to look. 

Instead, you press your palm against the cold metal door leading into the small bathroom and sheepishly ask, "Which one is he, again?"

A snicker comes from the floor, undoubtedly from Yunho's companion Seonghwa, and you turn as you enter the dimly lit room, grinning widely at your friend. The bathroom door swings shut, and the scents of toilet cleaner and bleach sting your nose. 

There are three toilet stalls in this room with mint green painted metal doors. The walls are a similar shade of green, and the yellow and white tiles on the floor are chipped in places.

You make your way to the sinks straight ahead and turn on the water, which is always cold, and run your hands under the stream. On the counter, in the corner, is a large black makeup case containing travel-sized toiletries for yourself and the rest of the women, and you open its lid and rummage around for your toothbrush and toothpaste. 

"How are you holding up?" Hwasa asks as you unscrew the cap from the toothpaste and squeeze a small dollop of its contents onto your bristles, careful not to take too much. 

You shrug, and rather than respond, raise the brush to your mouth. The mint is cloyingly sweet as it hits your taste buds, and you close your eyes, worried that its minty sting may tangle with your emotions and cause tears to well.

"Will you be joining Ryujin to meet with them for dinner tomorrow?"

Without opening your eyes, you begin to shake your head, not sure whether you can handle sitting at the same table with all of them. But then Jimin's bright, gleaming smile crosses your mind, and you shrug and nod. You may as well. 

Hwasa chuckles, and her hands rest softly on your shoulders before giving a gentle squeeze. All at once, you relax, dropping your shoulders and tipping your head forward, instinctively giving her permission to do anything she would like. 

As you finish brushing your teeth and tongue, she squeezes your muscles and rolls her thumbs in circles. You hold the small plastic brush between your teeth, feeling a dribble of frothy, minty spit roll down your lip to your chin, and you rest your palms against the counter until Hwasa lifts her hands away. 

"I suppose I should brush my teeth, too," she says with a pout in her tone, and you open your eyes to see her squirting some paste onto a matching toothbrush that she has written AH on in large letters for Ahn Hyejin. 

You spit, rinse, and spit some more, then use the inside of your sweaty black tank top to dab the moisture from the edges of your mouth. When Hwasa is finished, the two of you link arms once more and make your way out of the bathroom, ignoring Yunho and Seonghwa as you walk by. 

The rest of the girls, led by Ryujin, walk by in a fit of soft giggles, and you make your way to the pile of blankets and pillows, feeling physically exhausted despite being uncertain of whether you may actually be able to sleep. 

Hwasa follows and lies down beside you, beaming as she scoots nice and close and wraps an arm around your waist before you have a chance to roll away and face the wall. 

"Not so fast," she says, causing you to chuckle despite yourself. "You always roll away. Snore in my face for once."

Affronted, you attempt to wiggle out of her hold, surprised by how strong she is as she holds you in place. "I do not snore."

Hwasa rolls her eyes, says, "Everyone snores a little," and wiggles closer as her hold on you loosens—so close your noses nearly touch.

You feel too warm, and the scent of Hwasa's perfume mingling with her body heat stirs something inside you, filling you with the urge to flee. You are lonely, and she is beautiful and soft, and suddenly it feels as if all the air has been sucked from the room.

At a loss, you close your eyes. Whether you roll your body away or continue to face her, she will not create more distance because she cannot. As soon as the other girls return, they will pile into the bed, and you will feel the weight of ankles and wrists drape over you. 

"Good night, pretty dove," Hwasa sing-songs. 

You crack a smile, unable to hold back despite how dangerous it feels to allow yourself to be anything but stoic and collected for the time being. The nickname reminds you of Paradise and of Jimin, and you are unable to hold back. 

"Good night, Hyejin," you mutter in response, forgetting her nickname for the familiar one as her warmth and comfort lulls you fast into a sleep you did not expect to come. 

You actually feel…good.

* * *

The rattle and clanking of dishes and silverware have all of your nerves on high alert, causing your pulse to spike and your palms to sweat. You are acutely aware of the fact that at any moment, several men you miss and adore are going to come walking into the private dining room to join you, Ryujin, and Hwasa, and you are going to have to face them.

Each time a member of the serving staff enters, your eyes dart up in panic, and each time they bow apologetically, confusion painted across their features. Under the table, from your right, Hwasa grips onto your hand and mutters kind words that are lost over the pounding of your heart. 

When your trio arrived first, you were grateful. You assumed that by the time you waited on the arrival of the men, your nerves would have calmed and you would have composed yourself. 

But you were wrong. Oh, how you were wrong. 

With each passing second, your heart riots behind your ribs, quick and dizzying. You feel the urge to excuse yourself to the bathroom, but you are terrified of what it may do to Yoongi if he arrives to find that you are not sitting at this table. 

Food and drink are brought in. Large dishes covered in steaming meat, vegetables, rice, and noodles. Carafe after carafe is set down, and as you sit forward to peer into one of them, Hwasa says, "That is kaoliang. Fermented liquor from China." Your mouth begins to water, but you are not sure you are ready just yet to start drinking. 

Shadows linger outside the door to the private room, tall and wide blobs obscured by the privacy glass. Ryujin glances at her watch, mutters, "Fucking finally," and stands, causing Hwasa to stand as well. 

You remain glued to your seat. Even if you wanted to stand, you are not sure you would be able to. 

As the door slides open, your heart pounds. Seokjin enters with a smirk and a bow of his head, followed by Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, Jeongguk, Namjoon, and finally, Yoongi. 

Jimin beams, eyes and mouth wide and happy, and he rounds the table in a rush, pushing past Ryujin, who attempts to pull him into a hug. Your eyes fill with tears, and as you finally get onto your feet, legs wobbling beneath you, the tears spill, streaking your cheeks. 

You stumble and crash into the papered wall from the force of Jimin's hug, elbow scraping and stinging, but you do not care. Jimin smells and feels so familiar, and you sob in his arms, burying your face into his black lapel and letting out a deep, shattered breath.

"Oh my god," you manage to mutter against his shoulder, and he tries to loosen the hug to hear you speak, but you shake your head like a petulant child and pull him closer, refusing to let go. "I was so scared, Jimin. I thought I might never— I've missed you so much."

Voices greet one another, and chairs scrape across the floor, signaling that the others have begun to find their seats. This time, when Jimin begins to release the hug, you allow him, dropping your hands from his shoulders but holding them loosely around his hips.

Jimin's eyes are glassy with tears, and hair is slightly longer, almost grown out into a mullet. For the first time since you have met him, it is brown, and you mutter, "Nice hair," while doing your best to smile widely despite still crying. 

He grimaces at you, lifting his hands to thumb away the moisture under your eyes. Then he leans in, kisses the tip of your nose, and says, "All better, dove."

"Thank you," you whisper, sound lodged in your throat, then you release Jimin for good and pivot to take your seat, taking a deep breath before allowing your eyes to fall on the rest of the men. 

To your surprise and dismay, you find Ryujin sitting across from you with her eyebrows raised and a sharp, devious smile playing on her lips. To her left is Hwasa, and to her right is Jeongguk. You do not need to look to see that Yoongi and Namjoon have taken the seats on either side of you because of course, they have. Where else would they be?

But you do look. You sweep the sprawling rectangular table, starting with Namjoon at your left, then Hoseok, with Seokjin at the far end, where you anticipated Yoongi might sit. Past Seokjin is Taehyung, then Jeongguk, then Ryujin, who is leaning to the side and whispering something to Hwasa, whose hand reaches to where Jimin sits on the other far end. 

Jimin inspects Hwasa's rings and nails, dainty fingers tracing delicate lines. When she turns back to look at him, there are tears in her eyes, and you realize belatedly that she has missed him, as well. Of course, she has.

You do not look at Yoongi, gaze ending with Jimin. Yoongi clears his throat, causing Ryujin to stand, and—feeling uncomfortable with also standing while she speaks—you quickly have a seat. 

Ryujin bows her head, hair pulled in a tight bun at the back of her head. She, matching Hwasa, wears a black suit with a white silk blouse, blending in with the black suits and black satin undershirts the men wear. You are the odd one out in a sleek black evening gown; Ryujin was insistent. At least it, too, is satin. 

"Gentlemen," Ryujin says, and all at once, the men stand, bow their heads, and sit, including Yoongi, who scoots in close beside you. "Thank you for joining us tonight. I trust you have found us a replacement bodyguard?"

Yoongi hums a gruff, low note, and you are acutely aware of his presence by your side. His scent—earthy and musky, ever so slightly tinged with citrus—sneaks past the savory blend of food smells and floods your senses. You swallow a lump of trepidation that has crept its way to your throat. 

"First of all, I would like to thank you for trusting me with taking care of our little darling," Ryujin says, turning to look at Seokjin. She remains standing. "As you are all aware, things between Yoongi and I have not always been easy. But, moving forward, I would like for all of us to remain amicable."

At this, Ryujin's eyes land on Yoongi. She appears fierce and ruthless in the way she looks down at him, lips upturned as if to show that she is enjoying this position of power. 

You glance from the corner of your eye to find that Yoongi peers back up at her, sitting tall on the edge of his seat. His expression is blank, as is to be expected. There is a long pause during which you wish someone would speak or move to eat or drink—anything to cut through the tension.

Finally, Yoongi folds his arms over his chest and sits back, shifting his weight in a more relaxed position. He clears his throat, and you turn your gaze to the piles of meats, vegetables, noodles, and rice. 

It sounds as if Yoongi attempts more than once to speak but struggles to find the words. At this, Namjoon sits forward, pulling your attention to the left, and he asks, "May I?"

Ryujin's face lights up. "Of course, Joonie-oppa. The floor is yours."

"Firstly, thank you for your hospitality. The hideout was certainly difficult to locate—"

Ryujin snickers. At this, Jeongguk stands, facing her, "Look, noona, if you would have answered your phone, we never would have shown up there with—"

"Sit down," Ryujin snaps, turning a playful but intense glare on Jeongguk, whose mouth snaps shut as he takes his seat. Beside him, Taehyung snickers. "I didn't answer my phone because I wanted to converse with her before making any choices, and you idiots acted irrationally."

At the word her, Ryujin lifts her hand and gestures to you, momentarily pulling your gaze. Although you do not glance around, you are certain that all heads turn to look your way, causing you to shift uncomfortably in your seat while you begin watching droplets of condensation streak your water glass.  

"Pardon us for being concerned," Yoongi responds, voice tense and pained. 

This seems to quell whatever emotion that has Ryujin acting defensive, and she slowly takes her seat and reaches for the bottle of kaoliang. All seem to be waiting for her response, and she takes her time lifting her glass to her lips and sitting back in her chair. 

"Nobody faults you for being concerned, oppa. But you need to be more considerate of the reason she has come to me in the first place."

Yoongi must open his mouth to speak once more because Ryujin lifts her hand to stop him before she continues. 

"Yes, I know that you are concerned for her safety, especially in the wake of some mysterious man from her past showing up out of nowhere. But she was already planning on leaving for mental health reasons. So maybe storming in with chopsticks blazing is not the wisest way to reunite with someone who is already shell-shocked from all the other bullshit she has had to witness."

"Some of the bullshit was at the hands of your people," Namjoon interjects. 

Ryujin levels her gaze on him. "The most heinous bullshit, I would imagine. And as you can see, Hyungseo is not present. I am dealing with her, and Seokjin, Yoongi, and I have already discussed ways I can help with harm reduction."

Your gaze moves to the right, to Jimin, and you are surprised to find he is already looking at you. You smile, unable to stop the tears that form from how relieved you are that he is alright. 

"I know that trust has been tarnished between our families, and that myself and my girls have taken things too far," Ryujin admits. "I sent my people out to scare you, and they did so much more than that. I will never stop feeling sorry for what has happened. Not a night has gone by that I have not been filled with regret over someone so precious to all of us becoming seriously injured."

Ryujin lifts an arm, reaches over Hwasa, and holds out her hand to Jimin. He takes it without hesitation. 

"He could have died," Jeongguk says, brows knit in a frown. 

Ryujin sighs. "I know this, Ggukie. And I am so, so sorry. I am determined to quash any bad blood and begin earning your respect. Tomorrow we leave for Busan. Once we are all back home, Serendipity will be opened for a night of drinking, drugs…whatever you heathens do."

To your surprise, many of the men snicker, amused. 

"Seokjin and Hoseok already have a security team on standby so that you are not only relying on my people to keep you safe," Ryujin continues. "The era of family feuding is over. I am happy with my little piece of the peninsula, and I want drug operations to continue in a way that is lucrative for both of us. We will remain your first line of defense in the harbor, and in return, all that I ask is that we get free reign in Seoul to come and go."

Yoongi clears his throat. "If Sunmi-noona will accept the offer, she can be your liaison in the city once more."

At this, a mischievous smirk tugs on Ryujin's lips. She gives Jimin's hand a squeeze before releasing it, then raises both elbows to the table to cradle her chin in her hands. "Tell me, oppa. Why does Sunmi-unnie spit at my feet whenever I mention your name?"

Yoongi says nothing. 

Rather than press him, she winks, then reaches for a large metal spoon and begins to fill her dish. Everyone hesitates, and it is Jeongguk who breaks the tension and follows suit, scooping food onto Taehyung's plate and causing the others to act in kind. You sit still, unsure whether you have an appetite. 

"Darling?" Yoongi asks at the same time two fingers gently caress the back of your arm. 

Your evening gown is a form-hugging halter top with a low back, leaving your skin open to soft, delicate assaults like the ones Yoongi likes to conduct in gentle motions. You flinch but try not to pull your arm away, worried about hurting his feelings.

Yoongi chuckles softly. "Are you not hungry?"

You shake your head but mutter, "I don't know."

"Should I have sat elsewhere?" he asks. He shifts as if he is looking over and around you, and you imagine he is speaking nonverbally to Namjoon. 

The room is too bright, the food and cologne smells are too numerous, and the sounds of voices and silverware and porcelain are too loud. You raise your shoulders to your ears, then turn toward Yoongi, still unable to meet his eye as you ask, "Can we talk somewhere else?"

Yoongi stands, says, "Excuse us for just a moment," and waits for you. 

As you stand, you catch Ryujin's eye. She appears concerned and places her palms on the table as if ready to stand and defend you. 

You nod and say, "We'll be right back," and watch as she relaxes. 

A warm palm presses against your lower back, and Yoongi guides you toward the door, out into a small hallway, and to the left. The restaurant's main dining hall is to the right, and you are thankful to walk in the opposite direction, not sure whether you can handle another person's eyes on you. 

Yoongi walks into an empty private dining room, switches on the light, and holds out his arm for you to enter. As you step inside, you hear him conversing softly with who you assume to be an employee, and then he joins you, closing the door behind him.

As you stand and face the large, empty dining room, you expect Yoongi to touch you or prod you into speaking. Perhaps you expect him to beg you to return home. Instead, he seems to be waiting.

After only a handful of seconds, you decide you cannot take it anymore. Every ounce of you yearns for Yoongi, and knowing he is so close and being so patient has you reeling. You turn and quickly step toward him, reaching for his lapels and burying your face against his chest. He smells like home, and as he wraps his arms around you, warmth fills your chest, and you begin to cry.

"I'm sorry," you say. "I'm sorry I had to leave. I miss you, Yoongi, but I can't stand being there. I can't do it."

"Shh," Yoongi whispers, lips pressing to your temple, causing you to cry harder. It has only been a week, and yet you feel as if you have been away from him for so long. 

"I'm sorry we keep creating distance. I don't know how to make it work out. I'm so scared, Yoongi." You are fumbling, mouth on autopilot, dredging up each time you and Yoongi were apart, feeling somehow responsible for everything despite knowing you have always only done your best. 

"Yesterday was a mistake," Yoongi says, peppering kisses from the crown of your hair to your cheek and back up. "I was terrified and not in my right mind. You left in a frenzy, and then there was that letter, and it all been very confusing—"

You sniffle loudly, letting out a sound that halfway sounds like a laugh. "Oh my god, the letter. I'm so sorry."

Yoongi chuckles, gently grabs your shoulders, and pries you away from his chest. You allow him to move you, and you stand straight but keep your eyes on his black satin shirt. You do not want to see his scar or the pretty way in which his eyes downturn when he is sad. 

His voice is soft and conspiratorial as he says, "I almost killed Seokjin after I found it."

With wide, surprised eyes, you look up, unable to hold back any longer. Yoongi's smile is loving and big, and his eyes sparkle with happiness, making your stomach roil with uncertainty. His scar is still so red against his soft skin, but it adds so much to his allure and beauty.

"I was under the impression you were running away with Barom, what with the timing of it all. You packed a bag, left behind all of our gifts, and disappeared into the night the moment he arrived."

Despite Yoongi's high spirits, you shake your head somewhat desperately. "I wrote it earlier that day, thinking I might run away a night or two later. I was scared that if I said goodbye, I wouldn't be able to leave." Tears build once more, and your body goes limp, hanging against the weight of Yoongi's hands. "Yoongi, I'm so—"

"Alright, no more sorries," Yoongi says, pressing against your shoulders enough to signal that he would like you to stand up and get your shit together. "Seokjin explained your conversations and motives to us already, and I have long since forgiven the both of you. I understand why you felt you had to sneak away. Remember when I went missing in Hong Kong? I was also in the midst of a mental health crisis, darling. I have no hard feelings."

You straighten out and search Yoongi's eyes for any hint of dishonesty, but all you find is a soft, loving gaze looking back at you. With a relieved sigh, you step forward and wrap your arms around him, pressing the side of your cheek against his chest and listening to the steady beat of his heart. 

"I love you," you say, feeling the words fill you with warmth. 

Yoongi drapes one arm over your shoulders and rests his other hand against the back of your head. "I love you, too," he says. "And if you need time and space, I will give it to you. Despite everything, I trust the girls to take good care of you."

"Is it weird?" you ask, pulling out of the hug and stepping back only far enough to see Yoongi's face. His only response is to raise one eyebrow. "Being around her again, I mean. Was she always so bossy?"

Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head. "I suppose it is a little weird, but we were friends first and foremost, and being friendly with her again feels easy. She has not always been that bossy, per se, but she has always been strong-willed enough to face all seven of us down the way she did tonight."

This makes you laugh, and you lean into Yoongi once more, tilting your head to press your lips to his throat, just under his chin. 

"Thank you," you say. Yoongi hums, and you add, "For giving me time and space. For being understanding. That night was a fucking mess, and I have been really scared for what the aftermath may look like."

"No hard feelings," Yoongi repeats. "As long as you are happy."

All at once, you are flooded with myriad thoughts. Are you happy? This last week, while being more or less calm on your nerves, has also been lonely and strange. Would you feel better if you cut your losses and went back home to your men, where everything felt familiar again? Could you cycle through medications until finding the magical cocktail that would allow you to be whole again?

No, you think. Probably not. 

"Are you sure?" you ask, voice soft and uncertain. "I don't know how long I might need. I can't promise—"

Yoongi kisses your forehead, pressing his lips slowly as he hums. He says, "I'm sure. We can figure it out one day at a time."

With everything out in the open, your stomach pangs with hunger. You smile and ask, "Can we go eat now?" and you are delighted when Yoongi smiles with relief and says, "Yes, of course."

With his thumbs, Yoongi rubs below your eyes. His hands linger on your cheeks, and you expect him to lean forward and kiss you, but he drops his hands a beat later, then grabs onto one of yours and asks, "Shall we?"

Yoongi leads the two of you back to the dining room, and as you enter, you are pleased to find the entire table has erupted into pleasant conversation. Jeongguk's arm is draped over Ryujin's chair while Hwasa emphatically tells them a story, and Jimin is leaning close, listening with his chin propped onto his hands. 

Taehyung is explaining something while glancing between Namjoon, Seokjin, and Hoseok, and as you and Yoongi round the table and return, nobody acknowledges the two of you until you take a seat and Namjoon—eyes still on Taehyung—gently places a hand on your knee. 

It is only when you begin to reach for half-empty bowls of food that Namjoon takes your plate in his hand that you realize how long it has been since the two of you have spoken. You are once again overwhelmed with emotion and fight the urge to say sorry a hundred more times. 

Instead, he points with a large metal spoon and says, "Both of these dishes have a tangy garlic sauce, but this one is a bit more spicy."

"I'd like to try both," you say, watching as Namjoon spoons a heap of chicken with vegetables onto your dish, followed by a heap of tofu and peanuts with vegetables in a slightly redder sauce full of chopped red peppers. 

As Namjoon sets your plate in front of you, you reach with your long metal chopsticks with the intent to gather some noodles from a dish that is across from Yoongi, out of Namjoon's reach. However, Yoongi takes the dish and begins to scoop some onto a smaller plate for you, and you sit back with a smile and wait for him to finish. 

"Still having those dreams?" Namjoon asks.

You know in an instant that he is referring to the dream that you wrote about in your letter, and you feel silly as you bite your bottom lip and nod. 

"That has to be really stressful," he says, reaching for a pitcher of water to fill his empty glass. 

You smile sadly, imagining his white shirt filling with blood. It is stressful, but— "On the plus side, I get to see you."

As you lift your gaze to meet Namjoon's, his furrowed brow and wilted frown gently lift, not quite into a smile, but at least something a bit more relaxed. 

"Hi," you say softly, taking in Namjoon's familiar, beautiful face.

His smile widens, creasing his cheeks with dimples. He mutters, "Hey, you," and the soft, dulcet tone of his voice fills your chest with warmth. 

You open your mouth to tell him that you love him. That you miss him. That you're sorry for leaving. So, so sorry. 

But Ryujin loudly asks, "Caviar?" pulling the attention of everyone at the table. 

Behind her, waitstaff hold new plates, and everyone nods in agreement before continuing their conversations. And although you could pour your heart out now, Hoseok steals Namjoon's attention away, and you decide the moment has passed.

Food and drink continue to appear in waves, and suddenly, you are tipsy and full and tired. Namjoon stands to walk around the table and have a quiet conversation with Ryujin, and Jimin seizes the opportunity to steal his seat. He and Jeongguk discuss business operations at Paradise while you rest your head against his shoulder and close your eyes listening to the sound of his voice. He is alive. He is awake. 

He speaks slower, and there is a rough quality to his voice that was not present before. It seems to take him more time to process what is said to him, and he reacts as if on a delay. But he is here and alive and awake. 

Only when more kaoliang is poured, and Ryujin raises a toast do you sit up and take your cup. You barely hear what she shouts, booze and excitement slurring her speech, but you make out the words together, family, and happy, and you tap your small glass against as many as you can reach before shooting the strong liquid down.

A large, warm hand rests on your right knee, and as you set down your empty glass, you turn to find Yoongi watching you, glassy-eyed with a smile on his lips. You attempt to smile back but instead, swallow thickly and search for something to say. Luckily, he speaks first.

“Do you have any idea how difficult it has been without you at home?” Yoongi’s gaze becomes pained but remains soft, tugging at your heart. 

And although the sentiment is sweet, you are unable to ignore the impossibility of his question. In fact, for some inexplicable reason—you suppose you must blame the alcohol—you become somewhat annoyed.

You ask, “How could I possibly know that? And anyway, don't you have your hands full as it is?”

Across the table, Jeongguk snickers. It takes Yoongi a second to react, and you are glad when the corners of his lips raise into another smile, even if just for a second. 

“Being around those girls has made you sassier than you were before, darling,” he mutters under his breath. 

You roll your eyes. “It has only been a week, darling.”

Leaning close, elbows on the table, Yoongi lowers his voice and says, “It only took me about a week to begin wearing you down.”

Arousal stirs from the tone of his voice, but so does your stomach. Being kidnapped and worn down is not exactly a topic that you delight in discussing. You must not show your dissatisfaction, however, because Yoongi leans in close and presses a soft, warm kiss against your cheek. 

As the raucous dinner comes to an end and you begin to wish everyone a safe trip home, Jeongguk finally approaches. You have been holding back the urge to kick him in the shin all night, feeling somewhat scorned by his lack of attention. 

"So you're going to stay with the girls?" he asks, standing close enough to wrap you in an embrace but keeping his arms to his sides.

You nod and find it hard to hold his eye contact, looking down at his satin-clad shoulder instead. Jeongguk lifts a hand and delicately places two fingers under your chin, tilting your head until you look him in the eyes. The contact of his skin against yours sends an electric current through you, and you shiver. 

"Call me if you need anything. I can be to Busan in a matter of hours."

Sheepishly, you glance down again and mutter, "I don't have anyone's number anymore."

Jeongguk drops his hand, turns to the left, and says, "Seokjin-hyung! What the fuck, man?"

Arguing ensues, but you are too distracted by Namjoon wrapping his arms around your side and pressing his lips to your neck. Suddenly, your bones are jelly, and you stumble to the right, leaning your weight against his embrace. Yoongi joins, taking your chin in his hand in a similar fashion to Jeongguk, and tilting your lips against his. 

"We'll be ready whenever you are," Namjoon insists, lips grazing over your skin. "Whatever you need…please don't shut us out."

Somewhere behind Namjoon, Seokjin shouts, "Yah! I'll upload everyone to her contact list. Quit fussing!"

"Okay," you mutter while smiling against Yoongi's retreating mouth, unable to find anything more substantial to say despite it all lying in wait at the tip of your tongue all night. 

"We miss you," Yoongi says, pressing another kiss against your temple. "But we can wait if that is what you need."

Tears well and you fight the urge to sob. Not here, you tell yourself. Not now. You have already cried so much.

You hug everyone, even Seokjin and Hoseok. Jeongguk attempts to play it cool, but he stares at your lips the entire time, and you practically beg him to kiss you before ultimately letting him walk away. Jimin litters your cheeks and temples with loud, wet smooches, causing you to giggle and shriek. 

Taehyung asks about your medication, making your heart ache from his kindness. You briefly inform him that you have been having no dizzy spells, and he promises to send you more medication as soon as you are in Busan. 

Finally, Namjoon and Yoongi pull you into another three-way hug and take turns kissing your lips, cheeks, and forehead. They mutter soft, sweet phrases that you only make out the tones of, feeling the whooshing of your pulse as you begin to question whether you are making a huge mistake and should just grab your shit and go home. 

And then, all waving and clambering out the door haphazardly, they are gone, and the room is quiet. 

You sigh and glance around at the dregs of food and alcohol, feeling simultaneously full and empty in more ways than one. Tears fill the edges of your eyes, and you do your best not to blink, worried that any movement will cause them to spill. 

Ryujin sighs loudly. "Alright, well, this was fun and all, but I want to get fucking laid. You girls down for a night on the town?"

You glance down at your outfit, ready to complain, only you look good enough to go to a nightclub and find you have nothing to say to the contrary. You even wear a pair of cozy black ballet slippers, which you slid on while feeling unsure whether you could handle so many tumultuous emotions while wearing heels, and for that, you are grateful. 

"Sure," you utter while turning to Hwasa, who has a drunk but devious grin tugging on her lips. Her smile widens and she claps excitedly.

The drive to the nightclub is long, and you are exhausted by the time you arrive, having been fading in and out of a stupor. You feel more drunk than you had earlier, and you are tempted to suggest taking a cab back to the hideout alone. Of course, that would never fly. You can already hear Ryujin singing buddy system in your head.

Hwasa eagerly pulls you from the back of the car and chuckles as she rubs her fingertips along the edge of your hairline and says, "Poor sleeping beauty. We'll get you something that will wake you up, okay?"

You respond with a halfhearted smile and nod, and she takes your hand in hers and yanks you to the door, not bothering to stop for the security guard who, to your surprise, makes no move to stop you either. Inside, loud bass-heavy club music plays, and you are led through a series of hallways until you enter a large room full of the rest of Ryujin's girls and a group of men. 

The room is dark and somewhat hazy, lit by strips of purple lights along the ceiling and floor. Short two or three-person sofas line the mirrored walls and are dispersed throughout the space, most of which are occupied. On tables set beside each sofa are bottles of champagne and piles of cocaine, with glasses large and small scattered throughout and topped with small lamps that emit very little light.

Ryujin approaches a man sitting amidst the chaos by himself, sitting hunched over with his elbows on his knees, thumbing through his cell phone. You are curious whether these men are people she knows, and you watch to see how familiar she is with the lone man, but Hwasa steps in your line of vision and takes your chin in both of her hands. 

"Coke?" she asks. 

You want to say no, proud of yourself for being off the shit for as long as you have been away from home. But you are certain that without it, you will not survive this night, so you nod and allow yourself to be tugged further into the room, to an unoccupied table. 

"Don't worry, this is from our stash," Hwasa says as she picks up a discarded rolled-up 100-dollar Taiwanese bill and tightens it between her finger and thumb. "Moon and Solar were in charge of overseeing the distribution process."

You mutter, "How generous," doing your best to smile, and watch as Hwasa snorts a small pile into one nostril and then the other. When she hands the bill to you, you take in a deep, slow breath, and let it out, then lean forward to snort from the edge of the pile first into your left nostril and then your right.

As you let the bill fall to the table and tip your head back, sniffing in again on each side, you ask, "Does Ryujin know these men?"

"Mmhmm," Hwasa hums as she fills two glasses with champagne and hands one to you. "A few of these guys worked at Paradise while I was there, and some of them are from Serendipity. Maybe you know them."

"Oh," you say, pulling the glass to your lips but stopping to ask, "How did they end up here?"

Hwasa purses her lips and tilts her head, making a show of how hard she is trying to conjure the answer to your question. Then her eyes widen and she says, "Oh! Some guy started to come around to Serendipity and just sort of gathered the rest of these guys up as, like, a posse. I don't really know what they do, to be honest, but they always dress up in matching suits and cover their faces, which is creepy as hell."

Your stomach tenses, and you feel too anxious to turn your head to the left and figure out who Ryujin is talking to. Although you know that there is absolutely no way in hell it is Christian, something about the description of the men reminds you of his men, and you begin to wonder whether there really was credence to Yoongi's worry surrounding the possibility of Christian being on this island.

"What's his name?" you ask, voice barely loud enough to be heard over the music. 

"Hmm?" Hwasa asks into her champagne glass as she leans closer. 

You begin to glance over to where Ryujin and the man are, but your heart pounds so hard, you worry you might be sick if you see him. 

"The man who gathered all the guys, from Serendipity, " you say, leaning closer. 

"What's his name?"

"Oh," Hwasa says, taking a slow slip of her champagne while her wide, dark eyes stare past you. She blinks owlishly, then pulls the glass from her lips and says, "He has a nickname…Insanity? Something like that."

Unable to stop yourself, your head flies to the left, searching the features of the man whose lap Ryujin has claimed with her legs. His nose is sharp and somewhat hooked, and it is not a familiar shape. Worried, you glance around the room, but there is no sign of Christian, as far as you can tell. 

"Something the matter?" Hwasa asks, touching fingertips to your arm and making you nearly drop your glass of champagne. 

You must look frantic when you turn back to her, based on the fear that pulls at her pretty features. You blink and wet your lips, shaking your head. Unconvincingly, judging by the way her brows knit and she continues to stare at you. 

"I just..." you swallow thickly and glance around the room once more, slowly scanning every face you can see. "I just thought he sounded familiar."

Hwasa makes a small sound, and you scan several more faces before returning your gaze to her and asking, "Huh?"

"It's just," she says, uncertain, "well, I heard he was previously working on Jeongguk's team, back when he was a drug runner. So…maybe he is familiar?"

Something is not adding up. Although Seokjin mentioned that he has kept Christian around to do whatever he pleases, it seems odd that he would be known to these women as someone who was once part of Jeongguk's team. As you recall from the day you were taken to the mansion, he did not seem to perform his drug-running duties to Yoongi's liking. Did Seokjin keep him on Jeongguk's team even after that day? Could he have had something to do with the group of men Jeongguk massacred with kunai knives for fucking him over?

You stare at your glass of champagne trying to make all the pieces fit, but it feels like you are missing a huge chunk of information. 

Hands touch your shoulders, causing you to jump. You mutter, "Shit," under your breath at the same time Ryujin's high, somewhat mocking laughter fills your left ear. 

"So sorry to scare you, pretty darling," she slurs, sounding quite inebriated. 

"Don't worry about it," you say, attempting to loosen your posture. Ryujin's hands remain on your shoulders and you do not want her to feel how tense you are. But then she squeezes your shoulders and you close your eyes, this time succeeding in relaxing. 

"How do you feel after such an emotional dinner?"

"Good," you respond while her thumbs circle over your muscles. You wonder whether she is the reason Hwasa always gives massages. Or perhaps it is the other way around. "And, I don't know. I guess also conflicted. Homesick."

Ryujin's hands fall away and she rests her chin on your left shoulder, loosely wrapping her arms around yours and pinning yours to your sides. Hwasa busies herself pouring a third glass of champagne. 

"You really like them, hmm?" Ryujin asks. 

"Yeah," you say, possibly too quiet for how loud the music in this room is. "Most of them, anyway."

The last part is a joke. You like Seokjin and Hoseok just fine, but you are certainly not as close to them as you are to the others. Taehyung, too, for that matter, although he has had the pleasure of watching his boyfriend rail you, which has formed its own kind of bond between the two of you. 

"What is your relationship with the guys?" she asks. 

Hwasa hands her a glass, and she releases her hold on you and takes it, muttering a soft, "Thank you." 

You turn to face Ryujin. Although you still hesitate to become too close to her, you do feel comfortable in her presence, all things considered. If Yoongi is willing to trust her again, then perhaps you should be, too. 

"Yoongi, Namjoon, and I are a thing." After a pause, you add, "And…sort of Jeongguk."

Ryujin's mouth falls open and she gasps. "I need to know more!"

You feel your cheeks become hot, and you pick up your glass of champagne, which Hwasa has filled. But rather than explain, you ask something that has been on your mind for a while.

"Before, when you and Yoongi were together, was Namjoon…" Unsure how to finish the sentence, you trail off. Luckily, Ryujin knows just what you mean. 

She nods. "Yes. Romantically, those two have always been the closest. Namjoon and I were never super physical. We were just very, very comfortable around one another because of Yoongi."

Interesting. You suppose this makes sense, remembering a conversation between you and Jimin a while back when he told you about how marrying Ryujin was a means to an end more than anything else. 

"Yoongi and I were meant to bring two families together. And, don't get me wrong, we were physically and emotionally attracted to one another. But we also had more fulfilling relationships on the side. For Yoongi, it was Namjoon."

"And for you?" you ask before you can stop yourself. 

Ryujin smiles wide, but then it falls to a frown. She shakes her head. "Doesn't matter. Nobody you know."

You nod and accept her answer. You suppose that perhaps the two of you are not that close, yet. In tandem, you and Ryujin raise your glasses to drink. But then she yells, "Oh!" and you startle enough to nearly spill your champagne onto yourself. "Jeongguk, though! What happened with him?"

You tip your head back and chug the rest of your bubbly. It is truly miserable to drink quickly, and you instantly regret your decision, feeling the carbonation sloshing around in your guts. 

"We, uh…" you begin, feeling shy. Why do you feel shy?

"You should see those two," Hwasa interjects, causing your face to heat even more. "They bicker like children but then circle one another like feral animals. I can only imagine their chemistry behind closed doors."

Affronted, your mouth falls wide. "We what? No we do not!"

Hwasa nods, grinning. "Yes, you do! I thought the two of you were fucking for sure when I first started working for Jimin. I was shocked to learn Jeongguk was with Taehyung and you were with Yoongi."

"And Namjoon," Ryujin supplies. 

Hwasa's grin widens. 

You raise your hands to your face as if to hide. This day has been exhausting, and these two are giggling at your expense like a couple of school girls. 

"Oh, stop," Hwasa says as one of your hands is tugged down from your face. You open just the one eye, keeping the other closed tight behind your palm. "Everyone wants a piece of your ass. Don't be shy about it! Embrace it."

With a sigh, you shake your head. "Not everyone," you groan, feeling defensive.

"Everyone with eyes," Ryujin says, waggling her eyebrows while Hwasa makes kissy noises. "I would shoot my shot if you weren't already so taken."

Hwasa nods and says, "Me too!"

Suddenly, it is too warm and too loud in here. "I need a stronger drink!" you declare, making both women laugh. 

You take a step back and turn, moving in autopilot toward the door before realizing you have no idea where you are nor where a bar in this building is. 

Ryujin takes your right hand and yanks you gently back, sing-songing, "Ah, ah, ah, not by yourself."

"Alright," you concede, interlocking your fingers with hers. As you begin to walk toward the exit, your left hand is engulfed and you glance to find Hwasa is coming along. 

You exit the mirrored room and turn right, taking a dark hallway about halfway and then turning right once more, through a thick black curtain that is guarded by two men on the other side. There is a bar directly to the right, and Ryujin tugs you to the counter and orders a bottle of whiskey that you do not catch the name of. 

With a nod, the bartender grabs an unopened bottle from a high shelf and then delicately stacks three medium-sized glasses. Hwasa takes the glasses, Ryujin takes the whiskey, and your hands remain held by both of theirs. 

Back in the mirrored room, you return to the table off to the right, toward the back. The girls release your hands to pour three drinks, and you fidget by pinching the satin of your skirt between your thumbs and knuckles, suddenly feeling antsy. 

"Cheers," Ryujin declares as she slides a drink in front of you. You take it, hold it up, and tap it against their glasses, then pull it to your lips and smell the strong, bittersweet liquid before taking a sip. 

The potent, boozy caramel flavor that you have come to expect is accented by a hint of something earthy, possibly wood. You take a bigger drink, hold it on your tongue, allowing your taste buds to open and fully experience the onslaught as they adjust, and then you swallow it down. 

"Tomorrow, we return to Busan," Ryujin says for the second time tonight as the whiskey flows down into your chest, filling you with warmth. You look forward to being at a proper home rather than on some random floor in a balmy, empty building. 

"I'm looking forward to seeing your home," you say, sounding far more meek than you intend to.

"I'm looking forward to hosting you."

Hwasa leans her elbows on the table and says, "You finally get to have your own room. That is, of course, unless you want to stay with me."

The playful smile on Hwasa's face, paired with her tired and intoxicated bloodshot eyes is almost enough to make you melt. Almost enough to make you follow her into any room she wants to lead you into. 

When you shrug and say, "Honestly, I may be too lonely to sleep alone," you are being brutally honest, and not all all flirtatious. 

"I can even decorate it like your room in the mansion," Ryujin says. "Is it still yellow?"

Her words halt your movement of lifting your glass back to your lips. "How did you know that?"

Ryujin rolls her eyes and says, "Please, nothing about that man has changed, down to the way he likes to outfit you. It's exactly as it was seven years ago."

Bile swirls around in your tummy, and you set the glass down on the mirrored table with a clank that is louder than you intend. Could that be true? Is Yoongi really outfitting you in the same fashion he was outfitting her all those years ago. 

Hwasa clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth and swats at Ryujin's arm, muttering, "Mother, don't say things like that to her," under her breath. 

You shake your head, determined to not show how strange the information makes you feel. But Ryujin turns, pouts dramatically, and wraps her arms around you. 

"Oh, sweetie, I don't mean to suggest he was trying to turn you into a second me. He just seems to have the same tastes and fashion sense, is all. Trust me, he loves you way more than he could ever love me. I can tell."

You have no idea whether Ryujin is being truthful or trying to make you feel better, but you decide that either way, you see no use in dwelling on it. You are going to be living under her roof for the foreseeable future, and becoming upset whenever she says something a little too blunt, snippy, or insensitive is not going to get you anywhere. 

With a nod, you say, "I know. Don't worry." But it only makes her squeeze you tighter. 

"Just look at his bullshit excuse for taking you home with him," she says. "Collateral, my ass."

What an odd statement. You ask, "What do you mean?" But what you really mean to say is what do you know?

"The man takes you as so-called payment from your ex but then spends millions of dollars on a wardrobe, an armored vehicle, the most lavish birthday party in all of Seoul. Make it fucking make sense!"

Ryujin releases the hug, and as soon as you are free, you slam back your whiskey and pick up the 100-dollar bill, squeezing it tighter into a tube. Ryujin whoops and claps as you lean close and snort from the edge of the cocaine pile into your left nostril and then your right. 

"Mommy needs some, too," she says as she takes the bill from your hand and leans forward. 

You tip your head back and raise a knuckle to each nostril, sniffing deeply to make sure none of the drug is stuck inside your nose cavity, then you stand up straight, stretching your back by pushing forward your chest, and reach for the bottle of whiskey. 

"Partying so hard without me?" a male voice asks from behind you, and you nearly drop the bottle. 

The tone, the accent, and the cadence all confirm your fears are true.

"Christian?" you mutter as you spin, and you almost do not believe your eyes. 

From the expression he wears and the way his gaze falls to the floor, eyes widening as they lift to your face, you wager he also cannot believe his. 

Christian steps forward and you take a step back, elbow hitting the table and causing you to grip tighter to the bottle of whiskey. 

"Barom-oppa!" Ryujin shouts as she pounces on Christian, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

"Hey there, dearie," he says, lifting his arms to return the hug, never taking his eyes off you. 

Christian looks somewhat normal compared to the last time you saw him, with a white and red floral button-up tucked into black slacks, and a black leather blazer. His hair has some product in it to give it a slightly messy style, falling in front of his eyes, and he wears minimal makeup. 

But there is a darkness to him. Smudges around the eyes rather than clean lines, tattoos on his throat and neck. On his left hand, he wears a black leather driving glove, and across his nose is a red scuff, as if he has been punched. Under the rich musk that fills the air around him, you sense the stale smell of cigarette smoke, and he has silver hoops in his ears and one in his left nostril. 

A lot has changed about Christian in the months since you have known him. 

Ryujin releases their hug and takes a step back, causing Christian to look down at himself and rub his hands down the front of his jacket as if her tiny body could have somehow managed to do anything to the leather. Then he stands up straight and shakes his head to the side just enough for his hair to move out from in front of his eyes, and you realize that his left eye is completely white. Is it…missing? 

"Oh my god, your eye!" you shout, lunging forward before you can stop yourself and raising your left hand toward his face while your right hand nearly drops the whiskey bottle once more. 

Christian takes your wrist in his gloved hand and holds firmly onto you, and your entire body flushes hot with nerves as you realize the mistake you have made. The way his gaze holds onto you, even with only one dark iris and pupil, is piercing and intense, and you attempt futility to pull your hand away. 

"Funny story how I lost that," he says, expression pulling into a strange, sad grin. He leans close, nicotine on his breath as he says, "I'll have to tell you some time."

You pull on your arm, desperate to release it, but his grip is far stronger than you remember. Should you be afraid of this man?

"Christian," you begin, glancing from your hand to his face. 

"Perhaps over drinks, some time," he continues. "Just the two of us."

You nod, willing to lie to him if it means letting you go. Panic rises as you continue to take stock of how different he is from the man you used to know. 

Ryujin takes the whiskey from your hand, sets it on the table, and then grabs his hand in both of hers as she says, "Alright, that is enough of that. I need you two to play nice."

The room returns to view, and you remember why you are here and who you are with. You realize belatedly that these two not only know each other but that they are friendly with one another. 

"Wait," you say, turning to Ryujin, "you told Yoongi—"

"Look, I lied to him," she says, cutting you off. 

Your mouth falls open and your pulse whooshes in your ears. "You…but…" Could she possibly know what she has done by bringing the two of you together? "Why?"

Ryujin chuckles and steps close to Christian, placing her dainty, manicured hands over his chest. "Oppa is harmless. You know that! And Yoongi…well, he's paranoid. Trust me, darling. Nothing bad will happen to you."

You are not so sure you are convinced, but you know that freaking out will do nobody any good. Especially when you are so far away from home. You are not eager to show any more weakness to any of these people. Especially the one they call Mister Insanity. 

Someone shouts for Christian, using the name Barom, and you turn quickly back to the table. Your glass contains more whiskey, courtesy of one of the women, you assume, and you pick up the glass with shaking hands and slam it down, then reach for the bottle again. 

Intoxication roils through you in hot waves, and you squeeze your eyes closed to take a deep breath in and out before shooting more whiskey. A small hand touches your lower back, and you wish you were curled up in a bed all by yourself, far away from these people and this music. You are tired of being touched.

"I know it's weird to see an ex," Ryujin says. "Sorry for surprising you like this. He told me he wouldn't be around tonight."

"How did he lose his eye?" you ask, focused on the wrong thing as you turn to face Ryujin. You tremble so hard that your teeth clatter. 

Her smile falls to a frown and she shakes her head. "That isn't my story to tell."

You nod, accepting her answer, and turn to Hwasa, who watches you with a concerned expression. You mouth the word, "Bathroom?" and she nods and rounds the table, taking you by the arm. 

"Down the hall to the left," Ryujin says. 

As you walk through the room, you squint, attempting to ignore all the movement in the mirrors in your periphery. It's too much. Everything is too much. 

The darkness of the hallway is a blessing and a curse, relieving you from the chaos of the private room while introducing challenges of its own; it is almost too dark and somewhat claustrophobic. 

You stumble and Hwasa's hold on you tightens. She picks up the pace and leads you straight into a single-stall bathroom, then turns on a light that is thankfully relatively dim. The moment she closes and locks the door, you stumble forward, fall to your knees on the rough tile before the toilet, and vomit the contents of your stomach. 

Your mind races with myriad thoughts, but one is the loudest of them all: What the fuck is Christian doing here?

*

Oh, oh, I broke down all my doors Oh, do you see it now? Nothing was fixed at all

I never asked to be like this

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hello, hello!!! we meet again!!! i hope you have all been having great middle of the year months! things have been ok for me but i have been reading a lot more than i have been writing. how did you feel about this one??? it is a little slower, as it is setting the stage for the final chapters. any guess how things are going to go? how do we feel about the new (and returned) characters??? it felt really nice to writing Jimin into the scene again. 💜 i'll be honest, describing Ryujin & the Mamamoo girls laying on the rugs and blankets made me think of Quanxi and her harem of fiends from Chainsaw Man.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!! REBLOGS ARE IMPORTANT BLAHBLAHBLAH LIKES ARE ALSO AMAZING AND SO ON. 💜 tags will be coming in reblogs. also, character asks are always active if you have some burning questions or comments (just don't expect me to outright spoil anything hehehe.)

i love you, stay hydrated!!! if you are somewhere with a heatwave, stay cool!!! 😘😘😘 until we meet again!!!

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[vitaminwaterreviews]

Agust D - D-Day

Song average 8.7. 10.0.

- I’m kind of putting this off for some reason, not totally sure why.

I have a … storied history with this album. Haegum was the first kpop song by a male artist that i’d ever heard (except ofc Psy). Likewise, D-Day was the first kpop album by a male artist I’d ever heard. It was also my introduction to kpop hip hop, and it’s probably the first thing I’d ever heard that was primarily written and produced by an idol themselves. And People Pt. 2 was the first IU song I’d ever heard, too.

I definitely didn’t appreciate this album the first time I’d heard it. But I gradually grew to enjoy Haegeum, and obviously People Pt. 2 was a mainstay on my playlist. But the more I learned about kpop in general, and Yoongi in particular, the more i wanted to hear his other stuff. So I started with Agust D, and then I went to D-2, and now it’s time to come fill circle and revisit D-Day.

But I’ve already spoiled myself a bit. I listened to the album start to finish (without lyrics) yesterday, and then today I watched the documentary. I will almost certainly not score anything on this album below a 7, and I suspect this might be my highest rated album overall so far. We will see what happens.

Maybe I’m putting this off because I don’t want it to be over. I still want there to be some mystery in what the lyrics are, what the songs mean.

Oh well.

D-Day

Love the opening here

God, I really love the aggressive autotune

9/10

Haegeum

I love this MV

I wonder why it’s the exact same plot as Daechwita

Hey look, it��s a Haegeum

Look? More like listen? Hey listen?

Freedom, liberation

But what the actual hell does this music video mean?

8/10 honestly, in fact it might just be one of the weaker songs on the album

Huh?! (feat. J-Hope)

“You don’t know anything about me but you want to be me,” interesting

This feels straight out of Agust D, lyrically

7/10, honestly this is probably my least favorite song on the album. It’s not very interesting lyrically, it’s not very interesting musically, and I don’t think J-Hope adds much to the song at all

Amygdala

What, there’s a trigger warning? On a youtube video? That’s interesting

Continuing with the aggressive autotune

But it really does work so well

Oh yeah, the scar!

9/10

SDL

Oh okay, “somebody does love”

Who does the female vocals?

Adora, dunno her

8/10 for the female vocals

People Pt. 2 (feat. IU)

Wait this has an MV?

!!! I never knew that!!

God I just love the harmonies back there

I should look at these lyrics side by side with part 1

Ohhh this is SDL part 2 isn’t it, that’s what he meant in the documentary, must be

10/10, totally biased, but … this song introduced me to IU.

Polar Night

When I first listened to this album, I saved Haegeum, People Pt. 2, and this song to my playlist

I would later remove this song

8/10

Interlude : Dawn

Because dawn comes after you dream

Jesus, this is so nice

9/10

Snooze

10/10

Life Goes On

9/10

[echoesofadream]

your review of d-day was so enjoyable to read. i loved hearing all your opinions!

'I was never a fan of yoongis rap part in life goes on in the first place'

this made me laugh (not at your opinion), it's just so funny to me because i absolutely love yoongi's rap in life goes on (the bts one). especially the mm-mm-m-mmmm, it's so sonically pleasing for some reason. maybe it's soothing to me. off topic, but life goes on is go to song when doing chores, i don't know why, i just love singing it even though i don't know all the words

i can understand your feelings about agust d's life goes on, though i like it myself

i also love woosung's voice so much

'HUH?!: yoongi channeling his UGH! energyyy epiiiiiiic'

as the biggest fan of UGH! there could ever be (UGH! the lyrics, the fucking BEAT, the rap, the entire fucking rapline absolutely slaying (nothing out of the ordinary, they always slay), and that boxing ring live performance for ON:E in which they were so amazing and so hot (it's just such a good performance and they looked so fucking good!)(honestly, all of ON:E was absolutely amazing)), same. I love HUH?!

sorry about that, UGH! makes me a little crazy

anyways, yeah. it's all just personal taste nbd. glad you gave d-day a second try tho!

anon, MOTS ON:E concert happened when I was less than week old baby army, can you imagine how that felt for me? Insanity. Made me feel totally crazy too! (also jimin filter and jungkook my time. like. man, baby army me was SO losing it like Oh I guess this is just another Tuesday in the fandom? This is my life now??? help–) (she wasnt wrong I mean look at chapter 2 there is no peace whatsoever lol)

That is funny lol! I wasn't the biggest fan of LGO when it was released, only the mv but it has since grown on me and I like it now. I just find that some of their more recent more ballad-y/slower and less powerful songs that the rap parts hasn't always flowed so well, I wish some songs especially blue and grey were vocal line only. but that is only my opinion! they can do whatever they want but yeah. Like when they rappers have to do a kind of "singing" sort of rap, it doesn't always work for me. That's not to say it never does though, an example where I think it worked perfectly and even added a really nice flavor to the song and made it better is My Universe (inb4 you say that you didn't like that one now ajfsjf) I could name more examples like that. It just feels like sometimes rapline has to force a way into a calm song like life goes on, but that's only my opinion and we already established that you and I don't really agree Lol :P x

[borathae]

Hi Sibiii!! Just read Chap 30 and DAYUM!!! Yoongi being flustered when MC wanted to please him is so freaking cuteeee!!!🥵 I will nvr get over yoongi being so shy and flustering whenever MC takes control🤤😍. I also love when the MC catered to his needs like she knew he was gonna be anxious and she handles the situation with so much care and love ughhh🫣😍🥲

Whenever you write chapters that heavily focus on Yoongi and MC I tear up so often. I don’t know if this is weird but I feel their love through your writing and it feels real. Thank you Sibi for this amazing chapter, sending you lots of love!!🤍🤍🤍

-MV FANATIC❤️‍����

I will nvr get over yoongi being so shy and flustering whenever MC takes control🤤😍

same same same it gets me so *barks* ESPECIALLY OMFG ESPECIALLY WHEN HE GOES ALL oOo BECAUSE HE DIDN'T EXPECT THE SENSATIONS TO FEEL SO GOOD FJADFJAJF

I also love when the MC catered to his needs like she knew he was gonna be anxious and she handles the situation with so much care and love ughhh🫣😍🥲

I LOVE THEM SO MUHCCHCHCHCH they are so :(( I love how gentle and patient they are with each other :( please love them so much :( ALSO OMFG I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU FEEL THEIR LOVE :( this is all I want for you guys because they are so IN LOVE :(

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Suga has to be the best gatekept secret in BTS. He is so beautiful, cute, caring, charming, and funny!!! After months of questioning your taste ranking him second after Jimin in visuals when tkk is right there!, I'm sorry to say I was wrong. Yoongi is THE visual. I'm not going to the concerts but every photo I see on Twitter makes me wish I was going BPP. Does it sound like I'm getting wrecked? It's because I am. I relate to your other anon so bad haahaha. Before this tour, only Jimin and Jung Kook turned my head, but Suga now owns my soul. Is this how people become true OT7? Through BTS concerts?

*

Ask 2: Anyhow, did you notice how obsessed (maybe too heavy a word) Yoongi is with BS&T Jimin?? I just noticed after Suchwita. I think he really likes & remembers bst Jimin fondly & fervently. Please correct my delusion, if you think it's farfetched. (While reading your blogs and army detective twts, I'm realizing more and more how clueless and unobservant I am. I've given up being astute in noticing these matters and just gonna outsource these insightful findings to others. haha) +

But I think, Yoongi really LOVES bst Jimin. I mean who wouldn't?!? I just watched the MV & performances, and WOW JIMIN!!!! My words don't do bst jimin justice. That head tilt?! the fluttering of his eyelids?! his hand motion? his jaw line? the way he glides?! I see a ballroom behind him! GAH. the song is a BOP. I'm absolutely mesmerized, and let's be real, who can blame Yoongi for forgetting how to close his mouth in front of jimin! I want members reacting to mvs back!! T T

***

Hi Anon(s),

I started reading your asks giggling, by the time I got to the end I was full on howling lmaooo. Anon in ask 2, I too want the guys reacting to their MVs back, just cause we'll see them all going "Ahh, Jimin!"

Anon in ask 1, sigh, you have no idea what you’re in for with Yoongi.

Maybe all Yoongi biases are the same, because I truly feel like gatekeeping everything about him and I see that impulse in other Yoongi biases too. I’m very selfish with Yoongi.

You mentioned his visuals and him being caring etc, so let me try something here. It’s easy for me to talk about Jimin, but near impossible for me to talk about Yoongi, so I’m going to try talking about Yoongi through some of his actions with Jimin. And I’ll sprinkle in some okay pictures of him I don’t mind sharing, since you’ve acquired a taste for his visuals as well. :)

First, a preamble of his delectable visuals:

(ASDHJKJLSHKSADLK)

*

When people typically talk about Yoonmin, they stick to a rotation of Yoongi’s mouth hanging open watching Jimin, Jimin’s teasing of Yoongi, their bickering, etc. This is a jikook space so we hear all the time about how Jungkook looks out for Jimin, cares for him, encourages him and protects him. JK is introverted so when he becomes very assertive, usually on account of Jimin, it stands out. Yoongi too is introverted, but when he deals with Jimin he doesn't really break character, and so, oftentimes his quiet encouragement of Jimin, the significance of his actions, typically goes under the radar for a lot of people.

For example,

I'm not sure how many people realize how big a deal it was for Yoongi to recommend Jimin for A&R director when the boys were making BE. Jimin has said during that time, he felt lost - with their tour getting canceled, all their plans upended with no end in sight, the pandemic had taken away his core reason to live by his own admission i.e. performing for ARMYs. He was starting to drift and become unmoored (emotions we now see in Alone), and so Yoongi recognizing that, and recommending that Jimin take on the responsibility for determining the direction of their self-driven album, to get Jimin "closer to music again", is a small thing, but I see it as one of many ways Yoongi was pushing Jimin to better express and assert himself in that situation. Advice that Jimin finally took to heart during their Vegas concerts, when he began pursuing his solo music in force. The A&R role would’ve typically gone to RM since he drives most of their songwriting and oftentimes sets the tone of their music with BH, but Yoongi pushing for Jimin to be active, with Jimin eventually writing some songs for BE (though those were rejected), registered in my mind as yet another way Yoongi sees Jimin in ways many of the members don’t, and quietly advocates for him. Pushes him to go out of his comfort zone, because of how much he loves him. RM eventually took on a more active role during BE but Jimin being able to come on YouTube lives in Fall 2020 to talk about things he was doing for BE, those glimpses into him starting to find himself again, those details registered for me in ways I’m not sure I can properly express.

Yoongi sees Jimin, and loves him dearly. And it's mutual.

(I've never cared for animal prints but that leopard-print furry hat on Yoongi... he's a big cat)

*

Another moment I want to highlight is their 2016 Festa dinner. You know the one, where Taehyung talks about how Jimin grabs the spotlight/center. Yoongi was the first to come to Jimin's defense, saying how Jimin just naturally knows how to be a good performer, that a friend had told him that Jimin naturally knows how to act on stage to capture the audience. I'm not sure if it's obvious to many people, but that comment shifted the direction of the conversation, and soon other members were talking about how good and confident a performer Jimin is. J-hope would later say he's learned about performing by watching Jimin, and Jungkook would say this in later years too.

(… I have no words)

Yoongi saw Jimin's potential since way back in pre-debut, encouraging him and advocating for Jimin to be added to the final line-up in BTS, and has supported him in key periods of doubt since. Everyone saw how hard Jimin was working as one of the last trainees to join a nearly bankrupt agency with limited resources to train even just 7 people - I can't imagine the anxiety Jimin had to deal with but I imagine it was so much. And so when Jimin talks about that period and nearly always mentions how Yoongi supported him, I don't take it lightly.

(There's a reason Yoongi will always choose Jimin)

*

[Full disclosure here, but yoonmin's antics during the whole Shadow/Daechwita MVs shooting drives me to near madness. Because if you understand what Yoongi is, (which Jimin does btw), you'd see why this is borderline one of the most homoerotic unresolved cases we've ever had in Bangtan history.

If not for the fact that Jungkook exists, I'd be in a very different blog space right now honest to God. And I'll just leave it at that. ]

*

Whew! Okay, I need a break so enough about Yoonmin for now. I’ll try to focus more on Yoongi now.

Anon in ask 1, his pictures on Twitter is what’s fucking you up? Then welcome to my world lool. What got me initially though, was his music. Like, weeks later and I’m still struggling with myself not to loop D-DAY 40 hours a day 10 days a week. The fact he makes music like HUH?! while looking like this

(…and the fact this isn’t even in the top 30 hottest pictures I have of him. Just…)

I’ve written sonnets and poems about his voice and it still doesn’t feel enough to explain what it does to me.

(More Yoongi…)

(…just because…)

(…he’s that perfect.)

Good luck to you becoming a Yoongi bias because I have no idea how I’ve been surviving all these years. If we’re both still standing by the time this tour is over, please stop by my inbox again to tell me how you’re doing. I’d love to hear all about it. :)

[dearweirdme]

Tae's latest ig post where he is dancing with gof on slow dancing reminded me of his those posts with jk where he used to pointedly show jk and himself when performing. He not only posted that vid in his post but also made that specific vid his story. I am a 100% sure that he is only friends with gof but I also believe that he is aware of people shipping him with gof. He has been friends with him but never talked about him or did lives with him earlier. He started doing those things after those taegof shippers started popping.

This made me pause a bit. I feel like tae does something similar with taekook. Jk tries to hide and deny but tae always gives fodder to the shippers.

I know people will be like no he is friends with gof that's why he posts such things yada yada, I know that he is friends with him. But with the way tae knows everything that goes in the fandom, there is no way he doesn't know about taegof. Why did he start posting gof related things only after those shippers?

He's never outright denied taennie either.

Idk I just feel like he panders to shippers a lot more than any other member.

Hi anon!

You know I’m gonna disagree right.. so let’s get into this.

Why is Tae sharing something about Jk classified as ‘giving fodder to shippers’? Why is it not just sharing information? What exactly makes his comments about Jk specifically for shippers and not for army as a whole? When other members share something about each other it’s not ship related right? All members mention each other on a regular basis, because they meet up. Jimin mentioning Yoongi on his birthday, was that giving fodder to the yoonminners? Or was that just sharing information about an actual hangout? So tell me, what is it that Tae says about Jk that’s different? They see each other often so ofcourse there’s more mentions. Should he not? You rather not know?

Tae sharing stuff with Gof (who he’s obviously friends with and who is in his dance crew!) is for the same reasons. He hangs out with him on occasion and he’s had some moments that he wanted to share.

Jk shares less, but why is that a negative in your opinion? He never denies anything about Tae. Ofcourse they hide stuff.. but I mean.. duh.

I really don’t understand why some of you make such a thing out of something so small. It was fandom who made the Gof-Tae relationship into a thing.. merely because in the mv people saw a similarity between Gof and Jk and they saw that as a nice thing. But now it’s being taken into something it’s not and that’s not Tae’s doing, but fandom’s doing. I coincidentally took a peek at that former Taennieisaflop account and it’s very obvious where things like this are coming from (can you all tell I would love to singlehandedly take that account away from fandom by now 😑). Why on earth people want to believe attention seekers in stead of members themselves is really beyond me.

[borahaerhy]

D-Day is an absolute masterpiece; let's discuss.

Obscenely long description of each of the songs under the cut

TL;DR: I'm an emotional wreck and this is the best album I've ever heard for so many reasons.

Haegeum??? That MV??? Never wanted to quit my job and start a gang that bullied the rich and steals their money more in my life (and trust me, that's something I've wanted to do since I was like 13). Yoongi is the only rich man I'd ever let lecture me about capitalism. He can do it all day every day. This is a fucked system, but thank you for turning me on while lecturing me about it and murdering people with some dirty chopsticks 🥴

D-Day is absolutely sick, 100% exactly what I'd expect from him. How a song can go so hard and still be so poetic to me is just insane. The beat is SICKENING. The chorus? CATCHY. 10/10 song, perfect opener to the album and set's the tone for the rest that's coming in an amazing way.

HUH?! killed me. We open the song with "what the shit do you know about me" and bro? Nothing, ion know shit about fuck, but you got me all the way fucked up with that attitude. Hoseok?? THE "HUH"S EVERYWHERE?? dead. deceased. The beat? Would literally sell my soul to be able to be in the studio when that man makes anything. I went to school to be an audio engineer, I've seen the way people put music together and create these catchy ass beats and have even made a few of my own, but FUCK BRO THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN THIS MAN IN THE STUDIO.

^^That goes for every song, not just Huh, but I just thought that it was important for EVERYONE to know that I'd sacrifice my firstborn child just to watch this man work.

AMYGDALA had me in tears. I was literally sobbing reading the lyrics. There are no words I can say that will accurately express how I feel about this song. This song has been out for less than 24 hours and I already feel so close to it, I can't even begin to describe it. The way most of the instruments fall out in the pre-chorus just so they can all come back in the chorus for that intensity with him basically yelling the lyrics is just *chef's kiss*.

SDL Is so cute and heartbreaking at the same time. The chorus is everything, so beautiful. Talk about bitter sweet lyrics, I'm eating that shit up. His vocals are absolutely outstanding, that "I'm thinking 'bout you" is making me so delulu you have no idea.

People Pt. 2 has already been out, but man that song is gorgeous. IU's vocals are such a great contrast to Yoongi's rap, and when they harmonize I wanna start crying whY DO THEY SOUND SO GOOD??!

I'M NOT KIDDING YOU WHEN I SAY I WAS CRYING, LEGIT SOBBING THE FIRST TIME I HEARD POLAR NIGHT. The instrumental is so uniquely Yoongi, and makes you feel so much. Yoongi is one of the only artists whos music makes me feel what they feel; and this song is the best representation of that. Everytime i listen to it I have to stop myself from crying and it has nothing to do with the lyrics. I cried before I even knew what the song was about, just because that's how good of a composer and producer he is. Genuinly one of the best songs I've ever heard.

I've never had an interlude make me feel so much. He's perfected the art of making his music invoke the emotions of his listeners and there's nothing more perfect than a minute-and-a-half-long interlude with no words in it that's still able to do that. Incredible.

Snooze is honestly one of the best thing's to have ever graced this planet if i'm being 100% rn. I know I keep talking about the emotion of the music but broooo. And the Woosung feature? His voice is amazing and is already so raw and emotional and paired with this song I just cannot. The lyrics make me want to sob, which I will probably do later when I get off work. And the the reference back to So Far Away? I'm on the floor someone please hug me.

Yoongi's vocals go fucking crazy in Life Goes On. If this was my introduction to Yoongi I would 100% believe that he's a singer and has been his whole life. The pure raw talent of this man will never cease to amaze me.

In conclusion, I love Min Yoongi with my whole chest and I hope he knows how much his music helps people, because it really, really helps. I can never even fully express just how this album alone helps me, that's not even speaking about all his other solo projects and the hundreds of songs he's worked on throughout his career.

If you read all of that I love u and I hope u have a spectacular day.