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kyberphilosopher · 4 years

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Mᴏʀɴɪɴɢ Lɪɢʜᴛ

Word Count: 2061

“The Sun card represents radiance. Like the sun itself, it gives strength and vitality to all those that are lucky enough to feel its rays. There is much joy and happiness that is coming to you. On the other hand, the Sun reversed might be indicative that you are being unrealistic. It might be a sign that you have an overly optimistic perception of certain situations. Be warned, for when the sun ceases to shine on you, depression is soon to follow.” - ‘The Sun’ Tarot Card; Full Meaning.

Tap Tap Tap.

How early was it? Too early. You knew you had training today, but you were certain that wasn’t for another few hours. So what was that insufferable tapping for?

Tap... Tap Tap.

You shift against your pillow. You can feel your hair stick against your neck, in sync with the tightening fist by your face. Your eyes do open, slowly but surely. You feel groggy, despite the growing alertness inside of you. You’re waking up. What’s more, you’re waking up before you really have to.

Tap... Tap.

Your sleepy eyes search around the room. Behind the glass of the window, you can make out a blurry image of yellow and pale skin. Still, you’re exhausted. It could be a silly little trick pulled by your own brain. But on the off chance that it is-

Annie.

You sit up. Your vision is still smeared like oil, but you stumble out of bed. Your heel skims against the wood of the floor. It probably gave you a splinter, but now that you’ve started thinking about her, you know it’d be difficult to stop.

You partially hop to the window across from your bed. Your right hand reaches out to unlatch the thing, while the left rubs at your eyes to get the gift of clear sight. As you turn the wood to the right to unlock it, you step back and away.

The blond handles the rest. Her palms slip under the window and pull it up, and then she pushes herself through. She brushes the clear white curtains to the side and lands on the floor, just as your vision returns to you.

She’s wearing her favorite white sweatshirt, and standard brown slacks. There’s ODM gear at her hips, complete with all the strappings and buckles. But her face... oh, her face. Despite the time apart, it’s the same one you’d fallen in love with. The big, still blue eyes were gazing at the wood she landed on. Her pale blond hair is pulled back in the usual bun, her bangs hanging loose as always. But her lips look shinier today. Perhaps she tried the new lip tint you’d bought the last time you’d gone shopping.

“Annie,” you sighed with a soft smile. Any kind of stress you’d been feeling in the past few weeks without her was fading away, at long last. You knew she’d see you again soon, but you hadn’t realized she’d pick today. She must’ve wanted to surprise you.

Annie’s right hand reaches up to rub the back of her neck. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t be up yet.” The girl looks your form up and down. “Or dressed.”

One of your feet rubs against the opposite shin. She’s not wrong. You’re wearing an oversized white shirt and cheap underwear that she can’t even see. Your hair is a mess, your eyes groggy, and your breath making your own throat want to gag. But you’re overwhelmed with happiness to finally see her again.

“Yes you did,” you challenge firmly, but tiredly.

Annie’s eyes soften. You’re right. She could picture your tired form in her head long before she’d even set out to surprise you. That and the fact that she’d purposely arrived before the morning chimes.

“Whatever,” you wave off. You step towards her, your heart reaching out to hers. Her chest is like a magnet to your own.

Your arms stretch out to embrace her. And you do. Tugging her to you, you feel her warmth. Her chest and neck flushed against yours, feeling your heartbeats fall into sync. Annie smells so good. She always has, but it must be that body wash the Military Police get to use.

Annie is everything to you. The attraction was immediate, and the build up of trust came naturally over time. Despite the two introverted natures, you spent time together. You ate silent dinners, went through the motions of the days with each other. You taught Annie more about life and perspective more than she cared to admit, and in turn, she had made you feel more confident in your own character. It became fact among the cadets that where either you or Annie was found, the other was never far behind.

And then, sometime in the midst of it all, the dynamic changed.

Your faces got closer when you pinned the other down during sparring. You’d share your food from the same spoon when there wasn’t enough. Even begun sharing the same shower. You’d always thought Annie was attractive, but now the attraction was rapidly becoming a solid, almost tangible force.

The heat radiating between the two of you was undeniable. One night, in the top bunk of your barracks, she crept into your bed and shared a kiss. It was wet and sloppy, but you were close to her. You didn’t care about the lack of experience from either of you. Annie mattered to you. You wanted to be with her, and apparently she felt the same.

Things were never made official by title, but you were even more inseparable than before. You’d witnessed her threaten Reiner for both hitting on you and insulting you on separate occasions. You judo flipped a boy for getting handsy with her. You went to winter markets, stargazed, and spent late nights sparring ending in clumsy make-out sessions. You loved her. You’d do anything for her. You’d already made a nonverbal promise to each other that you’d grow and mature together. What more could you ask for?

“I really missed you,” you admit, taking her in as much as you can. Annie sinks into your touch, closing her eyes in affection.

“Yeah,” she replies, which is her own way of letting it slip that she missed you too. Both her hands come to rest under your elbows, effectively keeping them in place around her. Pft, as if you were going to remove them for longer than a split second anyway.

“So,” you drawl as you saunter back to your bed. You collapse on it, rubbing the space next to you as a call for Annie. “Tell me what I’ve been missing. The MP’s still treating you alright?”

Annie shifts and averts her eyes in thought. Then she follows your lead, sitting on the edge of the bed as she starts to unbuckle her harnesses. “It’s the same,” she tells you.

“I know you don’t like them, Ann. You don’t have to pretend.”

And with anybody else, Annie would’ve been quick to annoyance. But with you, she was glad. Even though she definitely didn’t tell you the truth about everything, she knew she could still be herself around you. She knew you could sense she kept some secrets from you still, but you’d never forced the issue. Everything about your love was focused on understanding. It was more than the girl thought she deserved.

“What about the Scouts?” Annie decides in return. It’s a tactic at changing the subject, and one that doesn’t slip past you. Still, you don’t push.

“Just as annoying as we thought. I have to officially get up and at ‘em in a few hours.”

Your lover unties her boots. “Have you been outside the wall yet?”

She already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear you say your piece anyway.

“No,” you sigh. Your hand rests on your forehead, your elbow bent as you stare up at the ceiling. “We have our first expedition this week. We’re taking Jaeger out to try the Commander’s new strategy.”

Annie freezes. Then she continues her movement. “Right. I’d almost forgotten Eren was here.”

You doubted that. “The bastard talked about the Scouts non stop back in cadet training,” you say as Annie twists around to face you. “You sure you didn’t hit your head on the way over here?”

Annie doesn’t answer. But she does gift a hint of a smile. It’s gone in a flash, but it’s more than others get.

Her ice blue eyes pierce into yours. It’s not threatening, however. It’s loving. Appreciating. She’s trying to memorize all the details inside of them like she’s about to do so for the last time.

Then Annie lowers head head slowly, until it rests by the crook of your neck.

“You got up early to see me today,” you say softly.

Your love shifts off of you, and props her up on her elbow at her side. You mirror her movements to observe her as well.

“I skinned my knee climbing from my barracks. My gear was giving me trouble.”

Some people may have expressed concern, but you knew your other half was strong. She didn’t need your pity. “Well maybe you shouldn’t have done that,” you shrug with snark back.

“Heh, thanks,” she responds, looking down to stare at your white cotton sheets.

There is quiet. The sunlight illuminates her hair. Her long eyelashes flutter up and down slowly. Annie is beautiful. No. Annie surpasses the boundaries of being beautiful.

“Y/N,” she whispers. “Would you love me, if I were evil?”

What?

“What did you say?”

Silence. Annie doesn’t look at you. She seems solemn, troubled. Haunted, even. No, not quite haunted. Maybe just hollow.

“Nothing,” Annie says decidedly. “I’m just muttering.”

You frown anyway. You know that Annie is weighed down by things that you can’t explain, or understand. It’s different from other soldiers, or just other people. But you didn’t think there was anything she could do to be evil. You had already shown and told her that you were in love with her. You wouldn’t go back on that if you even could.

Annie was your world. Your lion. Your entire purpose for even making it this far.

One of your hands reaches out to brush her fringe behind her ear. “I’d always be on your side,” you tell her softly. “There’s nothing you could do to change that.”

You’d be surprised, thought Annie.

“I didn’t mean to be depressing,” she mutters further. “I was looking forward to seeing you again.”

Annie is sad today.

Both of your arms wrap around her slim figure. You pull her close to you, so her head is between your chest and your neck. Both your bodies cradle against each other as you stroke the soft strands of yellow hair. The sun is seeping through the windows for only a passing moment, before it is covered by a blanket of grey clouds.

“Let’s go back to sleep,” you whisper to her, your eyes transfixed on the drops of rain hitting the roof one by one.

“I am sorry,” you hear her speak against your shirt.

You pull away, your palms against her cheeks so you can look at her stunning face. “Don’t ever apologize to me, Annie.” What more can you say to reassure her? “I’m with you.”

Annie is heartbroken inside. Maybe it was better that she didn’t say anything. Or maybe it was better in another timeline, where you knew. But Annie kept her mouth shut and tried to just relax her nerves. There was no reason to wake up feeling as guilty as she had. She was with you now. You would protect her against the nightmares with her father, or Reiner. Nothing to be afraid of.

“After this,” Annie says as you coax her head back against your body. “I’ll buy you one of those breakfast sweets you like so much. From the village.”

The rain taps against your window. The sun has all but disappeared by now. Surely the open window mixed with sheets of light rain will result in a damp floor, but there’s no way in hell either of you are going to get up and close it now. Instead you watch the water fall, thinking about how the shade of the sun matches that of your lovers mane.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

I wrote this really fast. I just really love Annie and wanted to give her some appreciation. A weak plot, but oh well.

#annie leonhardt #annie leonhart x reader #annie leonhardt x reader #annie leonhart imagine #annie leonhart imagines #annie leonhardt imagine #annie leonhardt imagines #attack on titan x reader #annie leonhardt fanfiction #fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #aot fanfic #aot fanfiction #fem reader #annie x reader #annie x fem reader #annie imagines

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ofcloudsandstars · 3 years

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February Magical Forecast

February is finally here!! The month’s energy feels clearly divided from the first and second half with the New Moon in Aquarius setting a different tone. The first half of February is all about cleansing, making way for a new beginning and shedding old beliefs or anything holding you back. There will be some tense squares and Mercury’s retrograde to help you reflect and move on from anything that’s holding you back or repressing your true authenticity and freedoms. With the New Moon in Aquarius it sets a new cycle focusing on us making progress and paving the way for our freedom and sense of self expression. There will be helpful transits along with the waxing moon that will motivate us to experiment with new things and lay the ground work of our tasks/goals for our dreams to manifest. This will climax with the full moon in Virgo at the end of the month that encourages us to build the staircases to our castles in the sky.

Week 1

1 - ☾♎

Imbolc Venus enters Aquarius Disseminating Moon | Moon trine Sun Sun in Aquarius squares Mars in Taurus Moon enters Libra

Blessed Imbolc! Today is the day to come out of hibernation and set intentions for the year to come. What projects do you want to launch? What goals do you want to meet? What are your aspirations?? Time to carve those wishes and spells on candles and burn them with bay leaves to attract opportunities, boost your visualizations and welcome the return of the light as the days slowly grow longer. You may find this time of year your energy starts to return gradually. It's a great time to start trying out new things to experiment. Don't take anything you start too seriously but lets say if you ever wanted to learn dance, dabble in an art or learn a new subject, this is a time just to expose yourself to new ventures, glean new knowledge here and there and if anything sticks go with it. This is also the time to begin some Spring Cleaning. Open your windows (for a brief moment cause it's still the middle of winter and cold lol) for some fresh air, get rid of anything you don't need. This is also a good time to get rid of big things like old furniture and donate clothes that either don't fit or you've grown out of style. (Where as Samhain is banishing in an emotional/spiritual sense, Imbolc is cleansing in a physical and energetic sense). It's a day to clean your space down thoroughly, like deep clean. It's a fresh beginning and it's the time you start your journey on a blank slate.

The mood today will feel celebratory with the Disseminating moon trining the Sun. Imbolc tends to be one of the more intimate holidays as it focuses on the home and cleansing so treat yourself to a beautiful ritual bath or make a magically charged soap to lather with in the shower. With the moon entering Libra we will appreciate anything sensually and aesthetically pleasing under this transit so set the ambiance with beautiful candles (in fire safe places). The energy may also feel intense as the Sun squares Mars in Taurus. We may feel more focused on the goals we want to achieve but if we act upon it we will be met with a lot of obstacles and blockages. However this sabbat is all about candle magic and manifestation. Whatever it is you desire, write it down and do spells for barrier breaking to remove obstacles, burn bay leaves for luck and visualize. Another great activity for this day is candle scrying. When you light your candle to attract opportunities or open blocked paths, watch the flame to see what messages the fire has for you for your future ventures and if there is something you need to put your focus on in order for your plans to succeed. Lastly Venus is entering Aquarius today. This Venus transit makes us appreciate freedom, new experiences and new pleasures, unconventionality and progression. It doubles the energy that it's a fantastic time to experiment (even in dating and relationships). Explore new things, meet new people, try new ventures and expand your perspective. Venus in Aquarius is also altruistic so maybe giving time to do community service can do you well but also connect you to kind people that will join your circle.

2 - ☾♎ When the moon is in Libra it’s a good time for attraction magic (friendship/coworkers/partners - all kinds), glamours and charms, love based magic and harmonizing spells.

3 - ☾♏ High Winter Moon enters Scorpio

As the Solstices and Equinoxes welcome the beginning of nature's seasons and the cardinal sign's seasons at 0 degrees (Libra, Capricorn, Aries and Cancer), the crossquarters (or High Seasons) are the middle of each season, the fixed signs at 15 degrees. Many witches celebrate the crossquarter sabbats on the 1st of November, February, May and August but for other witches and pagans that care about the astrological meaning, it's whenever the sun is in the middle of the fixed signs. (Each sign has 30 degrees so the middle is 15.) Today the sun is in 15 degrees Aquarius marking the middle of winter. Since the astrological date doesn't far much from the 1st of the month (at most maybe 5 or 7 days), some celebrate the days in between as magical days. Anyway today is another great day to do some midwinter/Imbolc/Candlemas activities. Sow seeds either literally or figuratively, meditate on your needs and visualize your desires. Today the moon enters Scorpio so it's a great time to examine yourself deeply and do energy work.

4 - ☾♏ Last Quarter Moon in Scorpio

As the Last Quarter Moon marks the final chapter of this lunar cycle, we may find ourselves reflecting on the past three weeks from Capricorn new moon. What intentions did you set then when Mars and Saturn were in their tense square? Do you still feel bound and restricted in some areas of your life? Today is a great day for meditation, self reflection and shadow work. See where you can source where you feel restricted and do divining for advice. Sometimes freedom is out of our reach not only due to external circumstances but internal cages created by our mentality.

5 - ☾♐ Moon enters Sagittarius

When the moon is in Sagittarius it’s a great time for socializing, channeling prosperity and luck and giving blessings.

6 - ☾♐ Venus conjunct Saturn in Aquarius

Today's energy can either be motivational to create something important to you that is long lasting or it can feel heavy, isolating and depressing. It really matters where you are in life in terms with your current relationships and your alignment with your values. Today the two energies of Venus and Saturn will fuse as they will align in the sky in the sign of Aquarius. Aquarius is about progression, evolution, freedom and community, so check in where you feel in relation to your community, friends and your sense of individuality and freedom. If you feel that you cannot express your true self in your community you may feel restricted in this time. If you feel that you've met people or a group that accept your uniqueness, this is a good time to build and develop those relationships further. In general this is a good time to focus on your values and work towards them or in alignment with them. If you are out of sync you will feel the restrictive and isolating energies of saturn crushing the elements in your life that make you feel seen, validated or find pleasure. However if you are feeling weighed down it's a sign that you need to take up the responsibility and work towards what you find important. This work isn't career based but choosing yourself first or the things you love. (Or choosing loved ones that reflect this and uplift these qualities in your life.) If you need help today is a good day for divining, self love magic and deep self reflection.

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Week 2

7 - ☾♐ Balsamic Moon | Moon sextile Sun

The moon is currently in it’s Balsamic phase and will sextile the Sun today. It will be a great day for cleaning the house, getting rid of stuff we no longer need as well as banishing and cutting chords. The sextile is an energetic transit that will give us the push to want to tie up loose ends and clear away what’s no longer needed. Today is a great day for cleansing and cleaning magic.

8 - ☾♑ Sun conjunct Mercury rx in Aquarius Moon enters Capricorn

Today will feel reflective as the Sun will align with Mercury rx bringing our attention towards previous projects, themes and mental dilemmas that we haven't solved yet. The Aquarian theme will bring us to reflect on the community, where we individually stand and our sense of freedom. It's a great day to take some time to reflect and sort through it all mentally as the moon enters the cold and responsible sign of Capricorn. When the moon transits Capricorn we may find it easier to tackle our to do lists and analyze our emotions and thoughts with more ease. This is a good day for meditation and bringing a sense of awareness to where Mercury rx is trying to guide us to reflect over. As the moon is in it's waning balsamic phase it's a good time to part with any mentalities that are no longer serving you. Mercury retrogrades are a good time to break habits and change mentalities.

9 - ☾♑ Saturn in Aquarius sextiles Chiron in Aries

The energy will feel like an extension of the previous day where we will be reflecting on our inner landscapes and reviewing any mentalities that need to be changed. With Saturn sextile Chiron we will have the sense of maturity to face our deep soul and emotional wounds or previous traumas that need to be reconciled and healed. It may feel like a heavy day but its a day where unpleasant work can be addressed and dealt with. With the moon still transiting Capricorn we will have the sense of responsibility and order to take this on. It's a good day for shadow work and introspection.

10 - ☾♒ Mercury rx in Aquarius squares Mars in Taurus

There will be tension between the mind and our motivations with Mercury rx squaring Mars. With the retrograde's energy we will potentially reflect on our past endeavors or current efforts and strategies and analyze them to see if they have brought us closer to what we've desired. There can be tension for us to act out on our wants and needs however squares often bring obstacles so it's best to observe and strategize (especially with the retrograde energy, this can also cause miscommunication and confusion) and see where we can improve our methods or redirect our energy to be more efficient in completing whatever goals we've set. It's a good day for meditation (especially meditating with Mars's frequency), journaling, reflection and divination. If the tension is too much for today as mars squares can bring up repressed anger and frustration, it's best to find healthy outlets to release this energy such as exercise, burning to banish (especially as it's the final phase of the moon) and freewriting your feelings.

11 - ☾♒ New Moon in Aquarius Venus conjunct Jupiter in Aquarius Both square Lilith in Taurus

This new lunar cycle is all about freedom, owning your individuality and releasing yourself from repression. As Aquarius is all about progression, evolution, freedom, uniqueness and individuality, these themes are paramount with Venus and Jupiter in the same sign aligned together. Venus represents our values and relationships where as Jupiter represents our faith and philosophies. Together this energy is about our true authenticity and values we devote ourselves to which forge our path in life. Often we can be deterred from that truth or path due to inner repression. (Mercury in the same sign in retrograde may help to reveal some of this as well since it's in a reflective state). A helpful aspect which can reveal where we feel repressed is the square with Lilith. Both Venus and Jupiter aligned will square Lilith in Taurus which will make us motivated to confront our repression if it means feeling liberated to express our true selves and deeper desires. Additionally if this energy is not taken in well this Lilith square can cause overindulgence or even further repression if we are scared to connect to our hidden selves that has been ignored for so long. However this further repression could create a lashing out as our shadow sides may erupt for freedom. It's a good day to do shadow work and tarot if you need help with this inner reflection. The past few days have had aspects helping us to reflect on our desires and motivations to clear the path for this new moon cycle which will want us to focus on liberating us from our repression from within. It's imperative that we focus this New Moon cycle in Aquarius on our liberation by aligning ourselves with our truths and being our authentic selves. It's no longer a time to hold back but to embrace our full selves.

12 - ☾♓ Moon enters Pisces

When the moon is in Pisces it's a good day for resting, dream oracling, lucid dreaming, divining, art magic, trance mediation, water based magic, astral projection and healthy escapism through art, cinema and music.

13 - ☾♓ Mercury rx Conjunct Venus in Aquarius

Today everything Venusian will be on our minds especially previous memories will have more importance today with Venus and Mercury rx aligned in the sky. Previous relationships could arise, previous exes or dates could come in contact, ideas on our values could be up for re-evaluation, our finances and previous spending could fill our minds for the day. Take stock and see where you are with your values and if you need to shift your mindset or anything in your life that is holding you back from being aligned with those values. It's another good day for reflection and journaling. If you are having trouble with finances, do some divining for money magic. Maybe do not do any financial attraction magic with Mercury rx involved. (It could attract previous ventures to you but sometimes job opportunities stay in the past for a reason).

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Week 3

14 - ☾♈ Mars in Taurus sextiles Neptune in Pisces Mercury rx conjunct Jupiter in Aquarius Valentines Day Moon enters Aries

Today may feel all about you and surrounding yourself with love and attention. Or it should be! Not so much because it's Valentines Day, but because of the New Moon's energy and theme interacting with the transits of today. First the moon will enter Aries making it feel like a fresh start and centering our focus on ourselves. Aries's ruling planet, Mars, will be in a positive Sextile with Neptune in Pisces giving us the drive to make our dreams work. With this sextile we will feel motivated to create, make art, do magic and tap into our spiritual sides and the source of our creativity. Paired with the energy of Mercury's alignment with Jupiter the theme will be about us reflecting on our faith, spirituality, philosophies and magical paths and putting work towards that or focusing on our energy on redefining or expressing our true authenticity. With the New Moon energy's theme being all about our liberation, alignment with our truth and freedom from repression, this energy on the 14th will help us to reflect on what that means and create new paths, philosophies and directions if need be. It's a beautiful day to focus on our spirituality, practice self love and acceptance to free us from our repressed state, and embrace our full creativity and magic in order to connect with ourselves on the deepest soul level so that we may expand our perspective and move forward.

15 - ☾♈ The moon is still transiting Aries today. Even if there's no major aspects, it carries the same themes as yesterday as it completes this 'chapter' in it's transit.

16 - ☾♈ Waxing Crescent | Sun sextile Moon

The sextile between the Sun and Moon is a positive boost of energy that helps us to get work done. This phase in the lunar cycle (waxing crescent) is a great time to experiment, try new things and take action on the intentions we've set for the new moon. However this action is just the trial period to see what works and what doesn't. The next phase which is the First Quarter is all about reflection and strategizing for the next step. Right now this energy is the rough draft period where we can experiment to glean pieces of what feels right before we move forward. Maybe write areas where you feel your sense of expression and individuality is stifled. Where in life are you not living up to your values? Write down new things to try or new habits to incorporate in your life. Try them out in this time and see what works for you.

17 - ☾♉ Saturn in Aquarius squares Uranus in Taurus Moon enters Taurus

Today will be about sudden change. Not only will the moon be in alignment with Uranus today focusing this chapter on change, but there will be a major aspect with Saturn squaring Uranus which only occurs about every fourteen years. This powerful aspect can bring about sudden change that may make us feel restricted or imprisoned. It can bring about change we may not want and can make it harder to create changes we do want. This can be an incredibly frustrating time of rising tension and surprises. Though it could feel like the rug has been pulled from under our feet, it's not a time for action but observation (like all squares.) It's a time for us to be open minded, patient and flexible. What can first seem to be challenges can turn into opportunities to rid ourselves of negative, restrictive and limiting things in our lives. In this time the best strategy is to see what areas of life are causing issues and deal with it. This transit will make it obvious what areas of our lives are no longer working in our best interests. It's not the time to resist change or overreact. This energy can feel like the metaphorical equivalent of us being hoarders of outdated beliefs or things that our hindering our progress and some well meaning person throwing out all of our hoarded junk we've collected over the years. We may feel the urge to breakdown but in hindsight this upheaval can elevate us to a new change in perspective or bring new opportunities. Some things we may not have noticed were blocking our progress and this can be an opportunity for that to be cleared so we can move forward. If you lack inspiration or face a creative block, you may need to take a new approach to your work, try a new technique or change of scene. Lastly this aspect may make our personal freedoms and rights feel more restricted. If our responsibilities become too oppressive, it is better to make adjustments now before they crystallize as new structures in your life.

On a collective scale we may see some attempts to 'return to how things were' which could feel oppressive met with sudden rebellion and fights to push things forward. Mark this day as it will be a gateway of energy to an interesting chapter. (If you are reading this before hand and are nervous, do some tarot to see what this day may bring for you. Do some positive energy and set some intentions on the new moon to help.)

18 - ☾♉ Sun enters Pisces

Pisces Season begins! This is a beautiful, dreamy and melancholic season where the themes will be about our dreams, inspirations, devotions, empathy and magic. It's a season where our visualizations and potential realities still rest in the astral plane ready for us to materialize them in reality once Spring begins with the fiery Aries season. For now it's the last resting period as we dream up a new reality. Pisces season is also about altruism, empathy and selfless love. This is a time to come together and help each other especially friends and soul mates on similar paths as yours. Together we can help each others dreams manifest. Lastly this season's shadow side rules self-pity, passivity, elusiveness and feelings of being victimized by life. There is also themes of intense escapism which can lead to substance abuse. Though some escapism can help us to learn about other worlds and bring inspiration, know your limits and reach out if you feel isolated, depressed or unwilling to stay in reality for most of the time. Most likely your friends will feel the same way and making time to connect can keep you guys grounded. It's a good time to cleanse, create healthy boundaries (as boundaries naturally dissolve in this time) and to dream.

ALSO watch out for scammers. Negative neptune/pisces energy always brings out the scammers for some reason. The shadow side of this energy also brings deception and barriers dissolving so protect your identity and information. Manipulators, scammers, thieves and abusers can seep into your life like polluted water flowing through the cracks of a levee so have your guard up. Also dreaming is so powerful in this season but have your shields up energetically too. This time a lot of spirits and otherworldly beings can visit but not all can be helpful or positive.

19 - ☾♊ First Quarter Moon in Gemini Venus in Aquarius squares Mars in Taurus

There is a lot of tension in the air today with the first quarter moon (the square between the sun and moon) and Venus and Mars. We may feel conflicted with our relationships not aligning with our desires, our current motivations and efforts not aligning with our values and needs. It's a good day to take a step back and evaluate the details of what's really important to making us feel whole and prioritize that. If you feel stuck, divining is your friend. You can pull a card for the overall situation and two cards each based on the choices and outcomes if you go with them. This first quarter moon wants us to iron out the details that are necessary for us to build upon our dreams. It wants us to detangle our wants from needs and focus on what's important. Not that you need to throw away your wants but you can hang on to them and act upon them at a better time. In general this day may create conflict within relationships and tension with money, overindulgence and impulse spending. Make sure to protect your boundaries and be aware of your budget.

20 - ☾♊ The moon is still in it's first quarter phase today and will carry the energy on from the previous day. It's a good day to reflect on your current goals, strategize on the details of the plans to obtain them and analyze any current obstacles or blockages. It's a good time for visualization magic and barrier breaking for obstacles. (The most opportune time for action will come in the next lunar phase). Today is also the last day of Mercury Retrograde in Aquarius so take the time to reflect on your sense of freedom, reflect on any mentalities that are unhelpful and repressive and reflect on these themes as well as the first quarter moon for any lessons learned to help you move forward.

--------------- 21 - ☾♊ Mercury stations Direct

Mercury stations direct today bringing the first retrograde period to an end. The energy may still be foggy, however it will adjust itself to expressing it's energy outwards from inwards. Hopefully this period of self reflection has helped us to understand where we stand in our authenticity and sense of freedom and cleared out any outdated mentalities that might have aided in repressing us. From here forward we will find our energy more active and our projects and or new ideas will have more ease materializing.

22 - ☾♋ Waxing Gibbous | Sun Trines Moon

When the moon is waxing it's a good time to start taking action on your goals and any plans you may have. Especially as the moon enters Cancer it's a good time to focus this energy on our emotional health and wellbeing, our home and our loved ones. Today the Sun will trine the Moon marking this as an energetically beneficial day. As this trine makes a harmonious blend of energy, the vibe will be so pleasant we could not notice it which can be unfortunate as it's the most opportune time to get work done, release the first draft of something or take courageous risks. Remember to mark this day and take action towards any goals and you will see it get a boost of energy! If you have no plans at this time, it's a good time to channel the magic through meditation and charging your magical tools or crafting a tool.

23 - ☾♋

The Sun and Moon may no longer be in a trine, but the themes of yesterday carry on to today as the moon is still waxing and gaining energy. It's a good time to focus on your goals. If you have no current projects then it's a good time to focus on the home and your personal life. When the moon is in Cancer it's best for house cleaning and re-arranging the space, water based magic, bath magic, kitchen magic, self care and shadow work.

24 - ☾♌ Moon enters Leo

A new chapter begins as the moon shifts into Leo. When the moon is in Leo it's a good time for self love magic, light based magic, art magic and embracing our creativity. This lunar chapter (or lunar transit) may bring up some challenges and themes from the previous full moon in January in Leo. Currently the moon in Leo is in a Quincunx with the sun bringing up challenges which we must arise to. Most of the times people begin to notice the "full moon" energies now as things start going out of whack though we aren't at the full moon quite yet. That's because the inconjunct aspect (150 degrees) between the moon and sun causes discord and imbalances left and right. However it will be our self love which can pull us through or our egos which can hold us back and force us to learn the hard way. Like all lunar transits, it's a brief transit however the moon's Leo transit this month may bring some drama and reoccurring themes.

25 - ☾♌ Venus enters Pisces Sun in Pisces sextiles Uranus in Taurus

A new shift of energy emerges today with Venus entering Pisces starting a dreamy month long transit where we are all-embracing with love and empathy, overflowing with forgiveness and compassion, are easily seducible and enticed by fanciful daydreams and forms of escapism. Venus in Pisces is a tender and affectionate time. However there is a pining for something that is hard to define and hard to satisfy which can lead to the escapism and lowering of boundaries. Though it is a time for our creativity and sense of spirituality to expand and for us to explore, it's imperative that we work on our boundaries and not become too much of a bleeding heart. There is opportunities for positive change today with the Sun sextiling Uranus in Taurus. This is an opportune time to work through getting rid of bad habits, shifting anything in your life that needs to progress and finding new opportunities that can expand your perspective. It's a good day to channel Uranus's energy and use it for positive change.

26 - ☾♍ Moon enters Virgo

The moon has not formed an opposition with the Sun yet but it has entered it's full moon phase in Virgo. Today will be a good day to review details, take stock, tackle any issues and find solutions or focus on our mental and physical health. We will feel the energy heightened today.

27 - ☾♍ Full Moon in Virgo

The moon reaches its full peak today as it's opposite the Sun in Pisces. The Full Moon in Virgo is like building or finding the staircase that leads us to our castles in the sky. It asks us to review our dreams and focus on the details to manifest them. Your dreams can be made reality if you can prioritize what's important and and organize yourself. This full moon can bring opportunities and help to materialize our manifestations, crystalizing them from their ethereal dream forms. Sometimes this full moon can show where our dreams are too lofty, simply because we haven't done the work to organize and take action. However it can help us to gather ourselves together. It's a fantastic full moon to visualize your dreams and ask the universe to bring opportunities your way. If you do have something you are working on, it's a good time to focus energy on it, charge it with energy and either release a rough draft on the moon or wait until the moon is trining the sun (early march when the moon enters Scorpio) to release it as it's a lucky aspect. Either way this moon focuses on the tasks we need to complete and work we should commit ourselves to in order to make our dreams a reality.

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Last Week

28 - ☾♎ Moon enters Libra

This short month ends with the moon entering Libra. It will be a quiet chapter where we will review our values and relationships and take time to integrate the lessons of the full moon and rest. When the moon is in Libra it's a good time for attraction magic (attracting the right people or opportunities), love magic, peace and harmonization spells and restoring balance where it's needed.

#february #astrology #transits #forecast #horoscope

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musicollage · 4 years

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Benoit Pioulard. The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter, 2016. Kranky. ( Mastered By – Rafael Anton Irisarri ) ~ [ Album Review | 1) Pop Matters + 2) Exclaim! + 3) All Music + 4) Impose Magazine + 5) Echoes And Dust ]

1) The peculiar title of Benoît Pioulard’s latest album gives the impression that it could be some kind of best-of collection. It isn’t, but The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter could stand in as a succinct summation of Thomas Meluch’s charismatic melding of dream-folk, field recordings, and sandwashed atmospheres.

The completion of The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter has been trailed by poignant timing and tragic coincidence. Meluch’s first album for Kranky, Précis, was released ten years earlier, nearly to the day. His brother, for whom the record is dedicated, passed away on the same day that it was finished. Listening Matter’s mood is not easily read. Its pleasure and melancholy are both wary. Meluch being a photographer as well, several of his Polaroids serve as the album art. There’s surely some reflection of the music to be drawn from the cover image; a fish eye mirror on a dark weathered wall, offering a detached and bent view of a beautiful day.

Starting with Sonnet in 2015, Benoît Pioulard has let loose an outpouring of ambient releases. There was Stanza, a companion to the Sonnet LP, Stanza II, the Noyaux EP put out by Morr Music, and the tour EP Thine. This past June he released the Radial EP, which featured an ‘interpretation’ of the Aphex Twin song “Stone in Focus”, to help pay for medical bills he incurred breaking his wrist while hiking in the Cascade foothills near North Bend, Washington.

Listening Matter swings back toward the singer-songwriter yin to Meluch’s structure-averse yang, a mode he hasn’t dwelled much in since Hymnal in 2013. Working again with Benoît Pioulard here is Rafael Anton Irisarri, who mastered the album at Black Knoll Studio in New York. Along with being the go-to guy for completing his own music, Irisarri is a composer with whom Meluch collaborates as Orcas. The duo’s stunning, underappreciated second album, Yearling, is a standout in both of their bodies of work.

Opening euphoric gust “Initials B.P.” is both a clearing of the throat and a girding of the loins. Outside the door lay a progression of perils to face down. “Narcologue” wastes no time, cutting into time and distance’s grip on love: "But this freezing of the heart / Is a shameful shuttering born of being apart / With numbness but in command / My senescence proves we hold together like sand”. Addiction lurks in “Layette”, which begins with the admission, “In a matter of time / I’ll slowly burn through my vices / Cos when I level with them / They still put me through my paces”.

The elated melody of the brief but voluble “Anchor as the Muse” belies its sense of futility. Nearly halfway in and there’s still no resolution in sight on “I Walked Into the Blackness and Built a Fire”: “So I will give chase / The back roads are clearer than before / But mist is in pace / And I can’t see the paths anymore”. Not to overstate the point, but after going practically speechless since Sonnet, Meluch has a lot to get off his chest here. He also gives himself a narrow window in which to do it; a baker’s dozen of future-past pop songs etched onto water-warped tape that average in length somewhere in the two-minute range.

Contradictions being key to the album’s balance, it is only natural that Listening Matter’s greatest moment of levity comes wrapped in cataclysm. On “The Sun Is Going to Explode But Whatever It’s OK”, each successive verse is an eloquent capture of a different thought or perspective in the context of the end of it all; a couple of the sentimental kind, but most of the ‘oh well’ variety. “Oh in the great conflagration of the universe / The sun is going to fucking explode/It doesn’t help to block it with your hand / So just tremble with the ruptures in the land”. It’s the “Take It Easy” this generation deserves.

2) Over the past decade-and-a-half, Thomas Meluch (aka Benoît Pioulard) has covered a lot of musical ground. The Washington-via-Michigan producer has averaged a release per year, tackling electronic, ambient, electroacoustic and even shoegaze and folk along the way but on his latest LP, the aptly titled The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter, Meluch has focused on a subject that has seemed to elude him over the years: himself.

According to Pioulard, the album was recorded during a rough period in his life; the 13-track LP tackles such subjects as grief ("I Walked Into a Blackness and Built a Fire"), turmoil ("In-the-Vapor") and self-medication ("Narcologue"). Opening the record off with the bleary and antonymous electronics of "Initials B.P.," Pioulard goes on to fill the album with guitar strums and vulnerable vocal sighs, while distancing himself from his most recent work. Despite the themes covered throughout, tracks like "Defect" and "A Mantle for Charon" sound honourably optimistic and cheery as Pioulard's voice comes off clean, clear and often chatty, akin to the warbling vocals of the Beta Band's Steve Mason.

Surrounded by ambient hiss and faint female backing vocals, The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter shows Pioulard expressing emotion through simple but intensely personal songwriting.

3) Over a decade's worth of albums, Thomas Meluch took Benoît Pioulard's music in such wide-ranging directions that, by the time of Sonnet's expansive ambient instrumentals, it seemed unlikely he'd return to the project's folktronic beginnings. However, he does exactly that with The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter, an album title that hints at coming full circle: if Precis was a concise introduction, then these songs are a poignant summary. Benoît Pioulard's music feels lighter and freer than ever, even as it touches on heavy subject matter. Within half an hour, Meluch reflects on life's impermanence ("Narcologue"), the fleeting comforts of vice ("Layette"), and mortality ("A Mantle for Charon") in ways that give Precis' affecting simplicity a greater depth. On songs such as "Perennial Comforts" and the gorgeous "I Walked into the Blackness and Built a Fire," he couples his flair for atmosphere with lyrical storytelling that paints a more complete picture of his world than ever before. Meluch surrounds these deep dives with ambient pieces that are the mainstay of Benoît Pioulard's work -- the breezy album opener is even called "Initials B.P." -- and the interplay of space and texture is lovely as always on "In-the-Vapor" and the velvety final track, "Ruth." Nevertheless, a voice as expressive as Meluch's should be used as much as possible, and his singing is especially welcome after Sonnet; on the lilting "Like There's Nothing Under You," he says as much with his circling harmonies as he does with his poetic words. Indeed, The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter features some of his catchiest songs in some time, from the shimmering "Anchor as the Muse" to "The Sun Is Going to Explode But Whatever It's OK," a brisk singalong for an end-of-the-world campfire. A tenth anniversary is as good a time as any to take stock, but to Meluch's credit, it doesn't feel like he's revisiting the past merely for nostalgia's sake. Instead, adding the clarity of experience to his early work's atmospheric conciseness only makes The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter all the richer.

4) Musicians often need to assume a persona, giving an alter-identity to better create and perform. Thomas Meluch has been working under such a pseudonym for his solo efforts since 2005, moving deliberately toward his current intersection of folk and ambient electronica. His previous output under his Benoît Pioulard name has often been nebulous and, as with the case of last year’s album Sonnet, voiceless. With the release of The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter, Meluch opens up his expressions both lyrically and via acoustic guitar. With this new effort, he shades his atmospheric music with a humanity that also works as a curative measure for his grief and emotional state.

Listening Matter begins with one of Meluch’s signature drone-based expressions, reminding of the ethereal and isolating moods of Brian Eno. Throughout the album, he uses these quick interims as a respite between vocal sets, seemingly giving himself a breather from his realizations and confessionals. When he does open up, his voice has a calming lilt reminding of many heartfelt troubadours like Nick Drake and Elliot Smith, recalling moments while looking forward. “Narcologue” has a flamenco flair but soothes like a opiate, emulating that painless relief from reality. With the bright outset of single “Anchor and The Muse”, Meluch reaches for balance and awareness in the aftermath of his struggles. Meluch states poignantly that “If you still resent me after everything I’ve done/ Well, then I can’t really blame you, can I?”, owning his faults with a weary finality.

The tracks on The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter rarely last beyond the three minute mark, but the impressions made are distinct and indelible. His production is stark yet sprightly, finding the right moments to add a layer of anodic ambience or environmental hum. The harpsichord produced on “I Walked Into the Blackness and Built a Fire” matches well with an understated gallop as rhythm track, echoing with rich history and a tangible sound. The album’s best track “A Match for Charon” features an uplifting chord progression and swells that creep out gradually bursts through the mix like sunlight. The listener acts almost as an audience member in a theatre, where Meluch’s songs are vignettes to be experienced as well as heard.

That hazy, memorable ambience is a trademark of the music from Chicago-based label Kranky and its impact is easily recognized on the Benoît Pioulard signature. What makes the efforts of Meluch distinct on this LP is his representation of the ebb and flow of life, acting both as the cause and effect of his music. One can perceive Meluch lift the weight off of his shoulders as his songs resonate with individual pain and resilience. This feeling becomes clearer with the knowledge that he lost his brother tragically upon completing this album. With this, Listening Matter is an unmistakable release from a record label committed to a singular sound and an individual effort from a musician still coming to terms with his own art and station in life.

5) Following an excursion of a wholly ambient release, one that truly enveloped the listener into a world that offered intrigue and mystery, composer Thomas Meluch offers his latest work under the Benoît Pioulard moniker. Returning now to his roots of experimental ambient folk, The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter features Meluch taking a step back from his 2015 album of Sonnet, utilizing his incredible range of ambient composition to further push and extenuate his own acoustic-folk musings. The result of it all is an album that that feels strangely familiar and comforting, whilst managing to express many ideas and notions that are certainly different.

Whilst Sonnet emphasized ambient techniques greatly and featured very sparse vocals, The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter instead focuses around Meluch’s own folk notions, all accompanied, pushed, moved and broken up by his own ambient techniques. At the heart of every musical technique, is Meluch himself who examines himself and his own experiences and understanding of troubling times with great examination, using the recording process of The Benoît Pioulard Listening Matter as a growing and healing process. Vices, virtues, life and death are all mused upon and expressed by Meluch, all blurred and obscured by ambient washes, as though there’s only so much we’re supposed to see.

There’s a great intrigue following this album and its release. Meluch seems to have spent much of the past two years really turning his gaze into himself, looking at how he views the world and understands it, before turning at introspection outward through the medium of his songs. There’s an incredible fragility to much of the work on the album, whilst also being incredibly headstrong and confident. As a body of work, much of the album seems to jump further ahead than much of Meluch’s work, sounding more concise and direct than the 2015 ambient work of Sonnet or even the more folk-directed 2013 album of Hymnal.

Meluch’s works may sometimes feel a little hard to really tap into at times, especially much of his earlier work which really felt experimental at times. It seems now Meluch has really honed in his incredible range and talents, creating an album that is no doubt experimental, but is also much easier to digest and understand, whilst still being a wonderful album experience that simply achieves everything it has set out to do. It’s arguable that Meluch has created a perfect entry point into his music for those who may be unfamiliar to his unique style, whilst also releasing a work that will really inspire his many lifelong fans.

#rock music #pop music #electronic music #ambient music #folk rock #benoit pioulard #kranky #rafael anton irisarri #2016 #2010s #2010s rock #pop matters #exclaim!#allmusic #impose magazine #echoes and dust #review

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raven-wraith · 3 years

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This is Actually a Completely Subjective List Written in a Completely Objective Voice, so I’m not Wrong, Y’all just had a Bad Year: A Look at the Best Titles of 2020 A.D.

By Orova

I feel like a recap or an intro that encompasses the past year will be redundant to both the reader and the writer, so I just won’t. Instead, I’ll just say that due to circumstances provided by 2020, I had a lot of time to just shut up and play games. And games did I play. I played a lot of good games[1]. I played a lot of bad games[2]. I bought the newest games that came out[3] and I went back down memory lane with some classics[4]. But at the end of every day, I was completely satisfied with how I spent my time and did what I wanted. So this is a list of the games that surpassed satisfaction, pushed the bar higher, and made me reconsider what a truly great game can be in 2020.

The Last Of Us Part II

This game is a beautiful work of art and storytelling. If gripping gameplay is what you came for, then you’ll be staying for the story. Naughty Dog continues to come out with games that push current gen Playstations to astronomical heights, making that hardware and software work overtime to get a game that becomes so overwhelmingly tangible that it cause the player to stop. The Last of Us Part II is no exception to this rule. So often does this game take lefts and rights when you expect it to go straight that it is absolutely insane how much ground it truly covers. Sneaking about before getting into claustrophobic gunfights feels smooth and natural, the new mechanics and enemies are unique, and while the non-linear parts can overstay their welcome at times, the game is long enough for them to not fill in empty space.

When I first played this, I was with my girlfriend for the whole journey and at the end, I didn’t feel quite as fulfilled as I thought I should’ve from the sequel to one of the greatest games I’ve ever played. It wasn’t until I returned on a higher difficulty did I find just how much this game has to offer, making the story all the more powerful as every fight truly felt like my last and every enemy made me rethink my choices and decision making and every arrow I fired and molotov I threw felt a nice weight to it that I have to emphasize once more. This game is a beautiful work of art and storytelling as the gameplay speaks for itself before anything else.

Final Fantasy VII Remake

To those that actually care, I reviewed this game when it came out[5] and I was shocked to find how many people didn’t appreciate it as much as I did. Final Fantasy VII is one of the most influential titles of my life that being able to see Cloud’s hair rendered so cleanly in this dystopian futuristic gothic fantasy world was a miracle in my eyes. A dream come true. The action comes in spades with enough sword fighting and magic to make Power Rangers to look like a fucking picnic.

The graphical design of the game, the direction of animation, and the cunning take on a lot of depth we never got to see so early on makes me very excited for future titles to come. There are some downsides, lots involving the side quests and voice acting, but that is just some of its downsides to look past to find the content at its core. Shooting moonbeams out of your greatsword at stormtroopers while in chase on a motorcycle. Take down a tyrannical oil monger as an eco-terrorist. Find cats for a little girl. Is this a Bioshock? No. But is it a game I keep trying to remind myself to not replay? Yes.

Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1 + 2 Remake

Superman by Goldfinger played and my sister laughed as she watched me cry. This game brought tears to my eyes, literally. As I got to relive sitting in my grandma’s basement, I was propelled to complete absolutely everything I wanted to do. This game was a complete package and its delivery was spot on with what a remake should be. A collection on a past game with quality of life improvements, enhanced handling and accessibility, and a software overhaul.

The game is simple. Complete challenges, unlock drip, flex on your friends. Usually in that order. But it is finally that simplicity in a new game that makes it such a good title. We wanted the game we knew and loved and they promised that. Nothing more, nothing less, it is exactly what we got. A new soundtrack, updated graphics, and nostalgia not most can achieve is a massive point to play this game.

Huntdown

Contra meets Kung Fury. Why the fuck have you not grabbed a friend and played this masterpiece yet. I mean seriously. If you’ve got a roommate or SO or friend with nothing going on tonight, play this shit. It’s great. Moving on.

Mortal Shell

I would like to address the fact that, yes, this is a souls-like and it isn’t exactly the most friendly game because of it. However, this game came out of fucking nowhere and blew me on my ass. Going back to delivering on a promise, these guys crafted an unforgiving title with little to no hand holding to show that this-THIS[6]-is how you make a souls-like. It is balls to the walls skill based combat where the player has to use what little tools they have to overcome a myriad of enemies. Progress is possible only through rewards and items, meaning there is no grinding or farming, just straight gameplay.

This is a game where I paid half the price for a full game and got, while a shorter title, the enjoyment from a full priced AAA game. It takes no time to complete when the “click” happens and it is a fun, fulfilling title the whole time. There are some incredibly unique mechanics that forced me to break my souls brain and for that, it just makes the experience far more personal. If you aren’t weak hearted, I cannot recommend Mortal Shell enough.

Doom Eternal

When Doom Eternal dropped, my sister was playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. After we both went into respective video game comas from it, we dubbed March 20th Doom Crossing Day. Doom is Doom. Nothing more to say past that honestly, but I will continue my rambling cause I know it’s what you all want anyway.

These guys keep cranking the intensity knob higher and higher. With Doom 2016 these guys said, “Hey, what if we gave the best first person shooter that requires no thinking whatsoever to completely obliterate enemies and zoom around the map at breakneck speeds?” With Eternal, the guys said, “Hey, what if we did what we did for 2016 except this time, we actually have the everyone (enemies and the player) move faster, hit harder, and actually require them to think?” With that, the gore orgy of Doom Eternal was born. Still very much a fast paced shooter with some extra content to fill the pockets of completionists, it delivers in fucking truckloads exactly what it wants from the player. To let loose and fucking floor every hellish abomination in their path.

And the soundtrack, while a sad story, is still one of the best things to listen to in gaming and probably the world.

Darkwood

The only thing that made me stop to consider buying this game was how reliant on a crafting system it seemed. I hate games that force crafting. I don’t know why, so I won’t elaborate. But, done with The Last of Us Part II and needing a survival horror itch to scratch, I sucked it up and bought it. After all, being an indie title for a genre I admire more than most, it couldn’t have been a terrible waste of time. That was probably the single best decision I made during the last year and Darkwood is not lost on me in that sense.

The fact that Darkwood has not only exposed the horizon of top-down horror, but it has experimented and perfected its use for the camera angle is astounding. The atmosphere rides on that perspective and, between the short days of scavenging and talking to the few NPCs you meet to the long nights crouched in the corner of your (un)safe haven, it is never lost. It’s a game where you constantly hear your heart in your ears. The combat can be sloppy at times but the story is one of a kind and its execution is phenomenal. If you are a fan of horror games or roguelikes, I cannot tell you enough. Get Darkwood.

Deep Rock Galactic

After lots of thoughtful consideration, I have deemed this the number one title of 2020. Not only did it keep me and my friends together and in touch during the hard times, it is a shooter that I support with my whole body. You and your friends play as a team of drunk space dwarves, tasked with a mission that sends you deep into a spider-infested planet, where you will have to use your class sets to fight, plunder, and escape the hostile environment.

With PvE at its core and ridiculousness as its foundation, Deep Rock Galactic is a masterpiece of cooperative shooting and procedurally generated dungeon crawling. Blending class play from Team Fortress 2 with unexpected and differing missions from Darkest Dungeon, one will find this lighthearted shooter is an easy, accessible title. With a hint of Risk of Rain to complete its graphics, the game is above all fun. That’s right. It. Is. Just. Fun. Shoot a spider that launches fireballs from its mouth, drink beer that teleports you into the farthest reaches of space, get rich off of gold veins while your team calls you greedy, dye your beard purple, and Rock and Stone in this amazing fusion of PvE and dungeon crawling.

Thank you for coming. There will be no score. It is simply a list where I feel those that need some new titles after the biggest disappointment of them all[7] should find some great titles in here for themselves. Have a safe next year and be patient. Patience is what will reward you. Practice is what humbles you. Hesitation is defeat. Toodles.

[1] Ghostrunner

[2] Hellpoint

[3] Mafia: Definitive Edition

[4] Silent Hill 3

[5] 9/10

[6] Not you Hellpoint

[7] Cyberpunk 2077 but I mean, we all saw this coming. I had to put it in here somewhere.

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loyalflutist · 5 years

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Shining Light (F!Byleth x Edelgard)

Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death Words: 3,680 Summary: Edelgard was and is always shackled down by her fate. No matter how much she tugged and pulled, the ruthless captors continue to pull her deeper into the darkness. Just when it all seems hopeless, a shining light breaks through the bleak landscape.

A/N: I wanted to write about Edelgard’s shackles and mental prison with fate. I’ve taken some inspiration with my past experiences in hopes of metaphorically symbolizing aspects of it... if it doesn’t sound too basic. Beware of spoilers about Edelgard’s past and background! Otherwise, hope you all enjoy it! I enjoyed writing this piece a lot.

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Edelgard was always strapped down by the chains of fate.

Ever since she was born in the House of Hresvelg, there had been nothing but misfortune that was bestowed.

At the tender age of nine, she and her mother, Patricia, were exiled and taken away by her uncle, Lord Volkhard von Arundel to Fhirdiad in the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. Patricia had vanished during most of her life. Edelgard had lived with her uncle as her mother married King Lambert. She hardly remembered the warmth of her mother. There was also Dimitri, but the two had not known they were stepsiblings until years later. It was already too late with this knowledge as Edelgard was forced to return to the Adrestian Empire with her uncle.

Patricia never came with her, and Edelgard secretly resented her. Why did she marry King Lambert? What about her father, the current emperor of the Adrestian Empire? Why wasn’t she coming with Edelgard? Did she do something wrong? Did she… did she replace her with Dimitri…? The grudge against her mother intensified the moment Edelgard stepped back onto her homeland.

Daughter of Ionius IX, she bore the minor Crest of Seiros, unlike her ten other siblings. That wasn’t enough for Those Who Slither in the Dark. Thrown into the basement, the eleven feared for their lives as Crest experimentations were conducted. The days felt like months, and the months felt like years. The scalpels that broke through their epidermis, the forceful implantations of foreign blood, the lack of sympathy, the poor living condition littered with rodents and insects, the chains that held them down as lab rats… Madness and death consumed everyone around her.

Edelgard survived… but at what cost? She had lost all her siblings to living Hell. She received the Crest of Flames after the final implantation, but her body took on a massive toll. She has a shortened lifespan and her natural hair color reduced to whiteness like a sheet of paper. The innocence she’s had as a child bled out in a similar fashion as she had bled.

After all of that, the worst was over, right?

Wrong. Fate was much crueler than she anticipated. No matter how much she ran free, these chains would yank her back into the abyss. She would scream, wail, clawing at the black, empty space until her nails cracked and tore. Edelgard would pull and tug at the deathly cold captors. These metallic bondages melded into her wrists and ankles. The times she was let loose simply made the bands invisible. It was an illusion of the freedom she yearns for. No matter how much she struggled, it would always drag her back to an invisible wall, her limbs modeled after the letter T.

The 18-year-old woman was like a dog on a leash. Fate was her master, and she was its pet.

That is until she met Byleth.

“Ouch! That hurts!”

Edelgard tensed her shoulders as the alcohol brushed over her fresh wounds. The half-naked student was seen sitting on the edge of the mattress in her dormitory room, the professor in tank top also sitting cross-legged from behind. A small, damp towel splotched with crimson tenderly pat and rub the surrounding gash.

There was a pause. Byleth glanced over Edelgard’s shoulder. Not a single trace of emotion leaked out of those brick-like features. One might wonder if she feels anything. Of course, beneath the sturdy exterior, there was a hurricane wreaking havoc. It took all her might to quell the inner monster. The corner of Byleth’s lips remained firm as her hand moved again.

“Sorry.”

Despite the apology, the professor continued to press upon the surrounding skin. This led Edelgard to lean forward slightly with a frown. Then, her lips parted.

“…I should’ve been quicker.”

Today’s mission was a complete disaster.

The Black Eagles went out for practical training in the woods earlier this morning. They were going to hunt after some wild creatures, but nothing beyond that. Ferdinand would strengthen his bond with his horse. Bernadetta would practice shooting at live, moving targets. Petra would learn how to blend with her surroundings in varying circumstances. Dorothea would gain further insight into using magic. Hubert would learn how to cast a more powerful version of his dark spells. Caspar would increase his stamina by practicing martial arts in the midst of wildlife. Lindhardt would conduct new white magic spells and cast them on his classmates. Edelgard would practice wielding the Levin Sword.

Byleth watched from afar in the dense field. Aside from her students actively partaking in their activities, Sothis appeared by her side. An occasional, playful spat sparked between the two as her students doubled down on their training regiments.

Everything was according to plan. However, none of them predicted the appearance of assassins. It was all too sudden. Byleth watched in pure horror as her students were cut down. Blood soaked their school uniform, their cries pierced the blue sky, and their counterattacks were met with sturdy resistance. The professor was the only one who was able to knock the black cloaks away with a swipe of her Sword of Creator.

Byleth’s breaths were labored. It was already bad enough to lose one student. To lose the rest of Black Eagles, though? Her heart pounds recklessly against her chest, her limbs involuntarily shaking, and fleeting shivers whipped through her. She slowly scanned her surroundings. Ferdinand and his horse were plopped on the side after a sword lashed out at them. Hubert was on his back after a dagger rammed into his chest. Berandetta’s neck was torn apart from the implanted handaxe. Caspar was punctured with multiple arrow tips into his back. Petra curled into a fetal position due to a powerful thunder spell cast upon her abdomen. Dorothea was planted face-first from a club’s impact against her skull. Lindhardt foamed from the mouth, his wide eyes strikingly red from the poison. Byleth profusely sweats and felt like her spirit was watching everything from a third-person perspective. It was mortifying.

“El… El…!” Her pupils contracted. Edelgard was down on her knees, a wicked lance plunged into her exposed neck. Its exiting tip dripped of her crimson color. Byleth stared at her lover’s unnaturally raised head. The shock wasn’t written on the girl’s features. It was an instantaneous blow. At least the grim reaper whisked her away faster than the speed of light. The blade in Byleth’s grasp trembled violently as she felt the calling of her girlfriend booming. “EL!”

This was the first time Byleth had ever felt seething rage. She was never this furious in all 21 years of her life. Not even her time as a mercenary would subject the female to this type of emotion. It had to be because death was granted to one of two people she dearly loves: Jeralt and Edelgard.

“This is terrible! Do something, Byleth!” Sothis bellowed from inside her head. “Use it!”

Had it not been for the petite woman, Byleth might have passed out instead. She gritted her teeth and focused on the potent skill.

The Divine Pulse was a godsend from Sothis.

Time reverted back to the beginning of their training session. Byleth found herself blinking rapidly as she walked alongside her students. Caspar and Lindhardt continued to joke with each other from the front of the group. Hubert and Bernadetta cautiously kept their distance from the bunch. Dorothea, Petra, and Ferdinand engaged in mini-lessons about Fodlan’s language. Edelgard walked alongside with their teacher. There was even the occasional side glance and brushing of their hands. That tickled the noble’s cheeks pink. However, Byleth’s exhale shook in response.

It was as if nothing had happened, and it needs to stay that way.

“We need to turn back around,” she blurted. That froze everyone in their spot. All eyes were pointed at the older female. “It’s dangerous.”

“Dangerous?” Hubert’s gaze bore into Byleth. “Are you suggesting that you were about to kill us?”

He was half right. Byleth was about to bring them into a trap she had not known about. Before the Divine Pulse usage, she witnessed their horrific demise. She can’t have that happen. Not again. Instead of directly answering the male’s question, she motioned her open hands and ushered the students in the opposite direction. The bland, stoic features only hardened despite her cheeky attitude.

“Don’t be silly. I know there is a better training field than the ones we are about to go to.”

Mumbles and risen shoulders were prominent in the class. That was an abrupt decision made by the teal-haired. One moment, they were heading deeper into the woods. The next, they were coerced into leaving the premise. Regardless, they heeded to her words. There was no use in arguing with their teacher. Byleth knew what was best for them.

They all did a 180 with Byleth walking from behind the rest of the Black Eagles. The lively personality stirred once more as they headed to a new direction set forth by the female.

“You did the right thing,” Sothis planted her bare feet to the grassy ground. She took a few steps, hands behind her back, and cocked her head to the side. Without looking at her host, she faintly smiled. “I wouldn’t know what to do with you if they were to die.”

Sothis proceeded to walk on ahead with the rest of the students. Even though Byleth was the only person who could sense her, it was always amusing to see the short woman blend in with the other students.

‘ It would be problematic… ‘

Especially when it came to Edelgard.

The professor slowed her pace to an eventual stop. Everyone had moved onward but her. She glanced over her shoulder, and her eyes narrowed. Byleth was right to move them away from the woods. Peering from the depths of the bushes and trees were hidden assassins. Many of them possess lethal weapons where a single use would severe a person’s lifeline.

Today, she had saved their lives. Unfortunately, Byleth was a little careless. One of the assassins snuck past her line of sight. The man had slid the dagger out of its case from behind his waist in a fluid motion. When the professor reverted her attention back to the group, she felt her blood freeze. An assassin cloaked in black crouched like a fearsome tiger. His eyes were preying on none other than Edelgard.

‘ The Divine Pulse! ‘

It was an ability that can only be used once per day.

‘ I can’t use the Divine Pulse anymore! ‘

Bad luck, she already used it for today.

Byleth kicked up dirt and bits of torn grass as she ran towards the assaulter. She placed a hand on her sword’s handle. The man continued to inch closer to Edelgard from the shadows.

Byleth took two huge steps forward. Hubert, who stood near Edelgard, widen his eyes at the sight of the silent warrior.

Byleth took another two steps forward. The assassin twirled the short blade in his grip. He straightened his posture and raised it high up in the air.

Byleth needed four more steps to reach Edelgard. Beads of sweat rolled down the side of her face as she mustered every fiber of her being. As much as she wishes to use the whip-like feature of the weapon, it would cause unnecessary collateral damage. (The last thing she would want is to smack the deadly edges on her students.) The professor quickly unsheathed the relic.

“Edelgard!”

She, Hubert, Dorothea, and Ferdinand all cried out at the same time. Byleth had successfully lunged her entire body at their direction. She skidded in-between her enemy and allies. Her wrist twisted as the tip of the Sword of Creator aimed upward at the man’s blade. She just had to knock it out of his hands. Victory would be a given afterward.

Or so she thought.

The assassin intentionally dropped his dagger. That caused Byleth’s sword to swish at the empty air. He grinned underneath his mask and caught the weapon. There was no need for flair when the enemy only had to jut his hand forward.

Byleth may have gotten out of the enemy’s trap, but that didn’t mean she won’t fall into the next one. Its blade jammed right into Byleth’s abdomen. The light armor that she had underneath her academic attire should have deflected the pierce. Unfortunately, it shredded right through it all, both steel and chainmail.

“…”

It didn’t hurt at first. Upon observation, the blade seared deep into the tissue and broke into the muscles. Its hilt rested right above her epidermis. The relic slipped out of her hands. Byleth glanced downward and instinctively used both hands to hover above the punctured area. A moist ripping sound accompanied the following action. The man had dragged the serrated edges horizontally until it exited out of her left side. He showed no hesitation in tearing the short blade out of her figure. An explosion of pain blew up. It hurt so bad, she could hardly decipher the landscape that strobed in and out of focus. Byleth eventually doubled over and fell to her side.

“BYLETH!”

Edelgard was the first to scream out her name. Their mentor’s hues became glossy as her attire stained from the newly-form pool of blood. She felt dizzy and nauseous. Edelgard’s tears sprouted forth without warning and streamed down her cheeks. Her vision was colored in red. In retaliation, the white-haired pulled out her Levin Sword. The assassin wasted no time in waiting for his prey to complete her action. He stepped on the professor as a stool and launched himself at Edelgard, his blood-stained blade shone from the sun’s rays.

��Die!” he hollered.

The man was fast. Hubert tried to step in front of her as a shield, but his princess shoved him to the side with a sweep of her other arm. She shot dagger-like glares at the assassin. The Levin Sword’s patterned blade was brought up to the sky. Not even a second passed by when the man’s strangled outcry broke from his voice box. Thunder struck his entire being from the heavens above. Yet that didn’t stop the dagger from plunging into her. It may have missed its original target, but it doesn’t mean the impact of the assault lessened.

Pain sheeted through her shoulder with a terrible intensity. Although a stab was avoided, her flesh wound oozed with blood from the slash. Edelgard instantly dropped the jagged blade and grabbed ahold of her injury. From the stinging sensation alone, it felt deep. It would be a surprise if the strike missed her vital nerves. Her brows scrunched as Hubert picked up the dead foe and tossed him to the side with a grunt.

“Lady Edelgard—”

“If only I had been faster, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Lindhardt was seen casting as much healing spells as possible on their teacher. Since he was a budding white magus, his skills barely provided the necessary first aid. He was barely able to do any more than mend the disheveled muscles. That frustrated him to no end. Dorothea and Caspar assisted in his endeavors to restore life into their professor. One laid the professor’s head on their lap, and one held her wrist, index and middle finger pressed for vitals. As for the rest of the class, they were only able to watch from afar.

Blood continued to trickle past her digits as Edelgard applied pressure onto the gash. She had already lost her siblings. She might have lost her mother too. What’s next, losing Byleth? She glared at the fallen assassin with tear-stricken expression.

Those invisible chains that bind to her wrists and ankles were beginning to tug. It was unnoticeable at first. Edelgard bit the bottom of her lip. She fully understood the value of sacrifice. Another tug from her chilling captors. However, what she wanted best was for there to be none. The final tug sent her spiraling downward into the depths of nothingness once again.

The poor student scrambled out of the dark landscape. Tears acted as torrential downpours as she riled against the bondages. Screams and wails echoed into the bleak surroundings, her isolation confirmed. This was happening all over again. The freedom that fate exposed her to was nothing more than a fleeting illusion. There was nothing she could do. If only she had protected herself… if only she had pushed away Byleth… if only she had been more careful…

“…There was nothing you can do about it.”

Edelgard’s mind snapped back to the present. Her furrowed brows eased themselves as Byleth tucked the gauze’s end into the wrapped shoulder. Treatment was complete. This prompted the older woman to ease the youngster into a casual buttoned shirt. As Edelgard’s arms slipped through its sleeves, she mumbled,

“You know, you should’ve been more careful, Professor.”

“…”

Edelgard hadn’t fallen far into the bleak abyss. It was already a miracle that Byleth survived the ordeal. No— It was more than a miracle. The incident occurred today, yet the instructor was able to recover enough to tend to Edelgard.

Everyone had originally presumed Lindhardt’s consistent Heal significantly improved its strength with each cast. Lindhardt and Edelgard had their doubts. He had only learned the spell in less than a week. There must have been some unknown variable that sealed Byleth’s deadly gash to mere scar tissues.

Little did they know that it was all thanks to Sothis. The immense power that had been withheld granted another chance at life. That didn’t come for free, though. The green-haired gave Byleth the scolding of her life as they were given first aid and returned to the monastery. More scolding came from Jeralt, Manuela, and even Rhea when they took a step into the infirmary. Byleth felt like this was never going to end.

At least the two afflicted females sustained nothing more than moderate damage. Manuela provided the necessary instructions to prevent infection after their same-day discharge. They were told to stay put in the monastery. Not like they had anything to do for today and Sunday. Hence, it led Byleth to invite the wounded Edelgard into her private quarter.

“…I’ll try.”

“It would kill me if you were to actually die.”

Byleth’s eyes crinkled from the corner.

“That won’t happen.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. I am alive right now.”

“…how could you say that?” Edelgard carefully turned around to meet her lover. “How could you say that with a straight face? You were almost killed— Wait— is that… a smile?”

“Maybe.”

That caused the noble to lightly scoff. “I hope you understand that this is no joking matter.” Sometimes, Byleth’s unnecessary social commentary downplayed the seriousness.

The corner of her lips curved downward. Without warning, Edelgard reached out to touch Byleth. A startled jolt zipped past the teacher’s spine from contact. Edelgard’s warm palm planted on the cool cotton of her tank top, its heat seeping past the barrier. Her fingertips soon brushed upon the rough, white material that peeked from under the fabric. She left her hand there and spoke with a contrasting soft voice.

“…does it hurt?”

“No,” Byleth shook her head. “It aches a bit, though.”

Byleth took Edelgard’s hand and brought it up to her lips. The ex-mercenary gently kissed Edelgard’s knuckles as she longed for her girlfriend’s alluring eyes.

It was typical of Edelgard to act like a mother hen. Despite her demeanor as a strict, calculating house leader that borders a dictator, the female is nothing more than a young woman who cares deeply about her companions. Byleth can somewhat empathize the inner turmoil Edelgard faced from this morning. The only difference was the scenarios’ results. Byleth’s thumb smoothed the back of her girlfriend’s hand.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“…are you sure?”

She nodded. There was a small pause until Edelgard lowered her head and trembled.

“I wouldn’t know what to do if I had lost you,” she whispered. Edelgard leaned forward and rested her forehead against Byleth’s chest. She closed her eyes, her voice soft, almost fragile as if her heart would break any minute. “Without you, I would be lost.”

Byleth tilted her head. Then, the professor slowly embraced the young lady and brought her close. “I don’t know what I would do either if I were to lose you, El.”

They eventually shifted position to lay down. Byleth allowed one arm to be a pillow as the other hand soothingly scratched Edelgard’s back. A content hum slipped out of the noble, her face buried in Byleth’s breasts and her legs hugging one of Byleth’s. She deeply inhaled her girlfriend’s scent. The heat temporarily blossomed on Byleth’s chest as the student exhaled through her nose. This was lulling her to an early sleep.

From the distance, it looks as though Byleth is the mother and Edelgard is the child. The white-haired might get mocked for acting this way. However, she didn’t care. She was here, alive, with the very person she loves from the bottom of her heart, who was also alive.

“You mean everything to me. I will fight the whole world if it means making you happy.” Her professor kissed her head. “And I will never leave you alone in this world.”

There was a bright light that illuminates the shadows. Edelgard raised her arms to shield the piercing rays. The blackness that once terrorized the female to her core slithered away from a lone woman. Gentle warmth enveloped her entire being as the chains that shackled her to a pre-conceived destiny eroded into fine dust. When she lowered her arms, she met her professor. Byleth stood in front of the fatigued student. She extended her hand with a smile. It was as if the teal-haired was a goddess manifested into a mortal. Edelgard blinked back her tears, her hand reached out for her girlfriend.

The 18-year-old woman was like a dog on a leash. Fate was her master, and she was its pet.

That is until she met Byleth.

#loyalflutist #edeleth #f!byleth x edelgard #f!byleth #edelgard #fan fic #fan fiction #os #one shot #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #i feel better after writing angst lmao

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agentnico · 5 years

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Honey Boy (2019) Review

You're walking in the woods, there's no one around and your phone is dead; out of the corner of your eye you spot him: Shia LaBeouf. He's following you, about 30 feet back, he gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint, he's gaining on you - Shia LaBeouf!

Plot: A young actor's stormy childhood and early adult years as he struggles to reconcile with his father and deal with his mental health.

As part of his rehab and rehabilitation, actor and cannibal (if you get the reference - respect!) Shia LaBeouf has written a screenplay that is loosely based on his own traumatic experiences with his father and in which the father is played by Shia LaBeouf. I wonder what Shia’s real life father thinks about this. I doubt he approves. In fact, I’m pretty sure I remember Shia mentioning in an interview that when he approached his dad to get his permission to have him portrayed on-screen, he tricked him into thinking that he was going to be played by Mel Gibson and that is why his father agreed to it. I mean, Mel’s a crazy fella, so it might suggest what Shia’s father is really like. Or maybe I’m overthinking it and Shia’s father was just excited about a famous movie-star playing him in a film. In any case, in the final product we have Shia LaBeouf playing his own father which leads to, well, interesting results.

Basically Shia’s father is a piece a hell of a piece of work...according to Shia. See, most of what happens in this movie has to be taken with a grain of salt since, yes, it might be true, but at the end of the day these are the words of just one guy who had serious alcohol and social problems. Don’t get me wrong, I quite enjoy Shia La Beouf as an actor, he’s proven to be good at what he does in the likes of Fury, American Honey and even this year The Peanut Butter Falcon, but that doesn’t mean I believe every word he says. That being said, judging this film on its own merits, it’s quite good. It manages to tell quite a heavy-weight story but in a very approachable manner. By this I mean that there are some very taboo subjects on display, such as child abuse, under-age smoking and paedophilia, however they are portrayed in a way that doesn’t scream shocking. Like, they make you feel uncomfortable, but it doesn’t feel as extreme as when its shown in other films. This very much comes due to mostly been from the perspective of a kid (played by Noah Jupe) and his experiences. By the way, Noah Jupe is definitely the stand-out of this cast, managing to balance the dramatic with more of the comedic when he has to act on the various film-sets within the film. The directing by Alma Har’el is top-notch also with a good colour-palette and quality production design, and from a technical perspective this film is solid (especially considering the limited budget) however in narrative it can at times be a mixed bag. Everything that goes on with the Noah Jupe/Shia LaBeouf scenes are great, however the movie also at times flashes forward to the kid being grown up, where’s he’s played by Lucas Hedges, and there are some genuinely interesting moments there but as a whole the film doesn’t focus enough on that plot point for it to serve a useful purpose.

Honey Boy has an overall depressing tone, but with some light-hearted parts and a solid cast, this comes from a man accepting and consequently letting go of his past and hopefully finding a way to continue forwards after having poured out his soul into this picture.

Overall score: 7/10

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quarterfromcanon · 5 years

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The Courage and the Strength I Need

Heather & Valencia - Femslash February - Day 23 - Phone Call [1,957 words]

Valencia flipped listlessly through the channels while she rested on her stomach. Nothing sparked intrigue. She stretched along the couch, but the far end was cold and empty. Her phone buzzed on the coffee table. She flung out an arm to angle the message into her line of sight.

HARVARD

Are you sure you don’t want to come over? We can finally start The Wire like we’ve been talking about forever but never do.

Valencia smiled and opened the conversation.

I appreciate it, hon. I really do. I just don’t think I’ve got the energy for the kinds of discussions you’ll want to have after every episode. I won’t make great company tonight. Also, you have a habit of staring at the side of my head in the dark. I keep feeling that instead of paying attention to the show.

HARVARD

Well, I wouldn’t do it for the WHOLE series but... I won’t lie. That would be my main activity for like 90% of the run time. I want to relive every scene through you because IT’S THAT GOOD. Plus your face is, like, extra pretty in the TV glow. Can I help it if my friend is a goddess and I, a humble human woman, sometimes find myself reminded of that ethereal beauty?

Valencia laughed. She set the remote control aside so she could type with both hands.

Should I screenshot this and tell Heather you’re swooping in to steal her girl the minute she’s out of town? :P

She left the sofa in favor of the bedroom. Valencia flicked on the closet light and stepped through the doorway.

HARVARD

I doubt she’d be fazed. I once said she has abs like the Venus de Milo.

Oh, so *I’m* the one coming to kick your ass.

HARVARD

I don’t doubt that you could. But was I wrong? ;D

Valencia heaved a forlorn sigh. She grabbed one of Heather’s camo jackets, hugged it to her chest, and inhaled deeply.

No. Damn it, Rebecca! Now I’m missing them, too.

HARVARD

Feel free to take care of business. I’m in the middle of a Potions class in Hogwarts Mystery. I can brew while I wait for you to text back.

Valencia pinched the bridge of her nose, amused in spite of herself.

I am not going to bookend a masturbation session with texts to you.

HARVARD

What if I promise not to track how many minutes elapse?

You and I both know you would.

HARVARD

Rub out the loneliness. Grind away the gloom.

Valencia ducked into the hanging garments to conceal her reaction, even though Rebecca could not see the flush of color spreading over her skin.

I think I’ll pass.

Rebecca sent a gif of Frodo Baggins smirking and saying, “All right then. Keep your secrets.”

HARVARD

All I’m saying is it might cheer you up, at least for a little while. Ever since Heather left for the trip, you’ve been all

She followed with a gif of the transformed Kuzco crying in the rain from The Emperor’s New Groove.

Are you saying I have a llama face?

HARVARD

So testy. See? Someone’s horny and angry. Time for the two finger tango.

Valencia rolled her eyes. She began to type but then noticed the clock and backspaced to write a different reply.

It’s almost 9, so she’s about to call. Thanks for helping me stay distracted until now. <3 Talk to you tomorrow?

HARVARD

Anytime. <3 Get to bed. ;)

Her parting gif was of a television character Valencia didn’t recognize calling, “Have good sex!”

As if on cue, an incoming FaceTime alert appeared. Valencia left the closet, shutting off the light and closing the door behind her as she did so, and then threw herself across the mattress. She hastily brushed back her disheveled hair and answered the call.

“Hey, baby.” Valencia realized she was leaning an abnormally small distance from the screen, just to feel nearer. She adjusted the space by degrees until it was more comfortable. “How are things in Wine Country?”

“I haven’t gotten enough of either. When I did get to be outside drinking, there was always some dusty old white guy droning into my ear and harshing my buzz. This valley make me need a Napa. Ugh, even my humor’s going stale. You and the girls have gotta organize a heist to take me away from here. I’m not gonna make it.” She fluffed her hotel pillow and pouted.

Valencia mirrored the expression. “Don’t tempt me. I might do it. I’m not holding up so well, either. All the furniture feels wrong when I’m the only one on it. The first day has already been so long. Another three will be an eternity.”

She readjusted so her body was angled the usual direction for sleep and then flopped against the covers. Even miles apart, they defaulted to their respective sides and held their phones at the height where their lover’s face would ordinarily be.

“You know, if corporate keeps making me haul my ass all over the state, maybe we should think about a pet,” Heather suggested. “It might be good for you to have a little buddy around.”

Valencia hesitated. It was something she’d imagined since they got together, but dreaming about co-owning an animal and actually co-habitating with one were two very different things. “What kind of pet?”

Heather shrugged. “Nothing too exotic or anything. Dogs are cute but a lot of breeds pack high energy that doesn’t really gel with our vibe. So... a cat?”

Valencia attempted to picture it but her mind kept fixating on their brand new house and its furnishings. She could envision the claw marks and clumps of fur covering everything. “I don’t know...”

“How about this: sometime after I come home, can you and I go to a shelter and take a look around, just to see how it feels? No pressure, no rushed decisions. All super chill. We can talk it over and make the call from there.” Heather offered a hopeful smile. “What do you think?”

“Okay. I’ll try,” Valencia agreed. “Even hours around the smell of cat pee don’t sound so bad if that means you’re back here with me instead of up there.”

“Damn, I should be using this to my advantage. If I’ve got any sporty activities I wanna coax you into, now’s the time to pitch them. Ha! Pitch. I'm exhausted. But while we’re on the subject of athletics, what are your opinions on rock walls?”

“Don’t push your luck.”

Heather laughed and trailed her fingertips over the image of Valencia on her screen. “I hate that I’m not there with you.”

“Join the club. You can be vice president.” Valencia pulled the sheet over her shoulders, but it was a poor stand-in for the comforting embrace she craved.

“Remind me again why I let these identical suited golfers badger me into this?”

“Because you come up with solid ideas and you’ve got a chance to make them heard,” Valencia answered without pause. “Because they need fresh perspective and you have that in spades. Because they’ve realized that you’re a problem-solver and they care what you think. You made an impression. They’re impressed by you. They should be.”

Heather crooked an arm under her head. “I mean, I’m proud of that stuff, I really am, but I don’t want this to be the rest of my life. It’s not a bad gig; it’s just not the job I'd choose for my career.” She began to pick at a loose thread on the sheet but stopped herself. “I don’t know. It’s not like I have an answer for what I should switch to instead. I’m kinda idling in one place.”

“Out of everything you’ve tried so far, what do you most genuinely enjoy doing? And don’t say me.”

“Crossing off the special skills section of my resume in one swipe. Harsh.”

“Seriously, though. What would you say?”

Heather rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. “Is it weird if the truth is sorta everything and nothing? All of it interested me for a while, or else I wouldn’t have done it in the first place. But a lot of jobs don’t change very much, y’know? I get tired of the monotony.”

“‘A copy of a copy of a copy,’” Valencia supplied.

Heather bit her lip. “Don’t reference Fight Club when I can’t reward you for remembering that.”

“I’ll put it on your tab.” Valencia winked.

Heather scrubbed a hand down her face and sighed. “The main thing I’m into is learning. Adapting. Having a reason to stay curious.”

“You miss college.”

“All the time. But I wasn’t making money doing that.”

“What about when you’re sharing what you’ve studied?” Valencia asked. “You’re good at it. That goes without saying. I pick up a lot from living under the same roof. Is that fun for you?”

“Kinda,” Heather admitted. “I like making it useful. Also, I know from experience that it’s nice to have concepts explained by somebody who’s not gonna be a condescending shit-heel about it. Everybody’s gotta learn something for the first time at some point. Academia isn’t innate. It doesn’t prove you’re superior if you got the hang of it first, and it definitely shows you’re worse if you rub someone else’s nose in it. I care that people know they can come to me for help without judgment.”

“Cariño?” Valencia murmured.

“Hmm?”

“I think you might have your answer.”

“Teaching?” Heather’s words were tentative, nearly inaudible. “Like a professor?”

Valencia nodded.

“That requires at least getting my master’s degree to work at a community college. Probably a doctorate if I plan to go somewhere else.” Heather rubbed the back of her neck. “It’ll take years.”

“Honey, the fact you already know that means you must have researched it at some point.” Valencia looked directly into the phone’s camera. “Is this what you want?”

Heather’s eyes were shining in the darkness. “Yeah.” Her finger swept beneath her eyelid. “Yeah, I think it is.”

Valencia beamed and a tear slid along her jawline. “So it’s settled.”

Heather disappeared behind the heel of her hand for a moment, and when she spoke again, her voice wavered. “Are you sure? This affects you, too. It’s a long-term commitment.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m long-term committed.” Valencia brought the phone close again, back to where she started. “I love you.”

Heather kissed the camera and rubbed the resultant smudge away with her sleeve. “I love you, too.”

“You want to know something?”

“Always.”

Valencia’s lips subtly turned upward at the corners. “I usually save this for major breakthroughs because it already sounds mushy and fake, and I don’t want it to lose all meaning, but today’s a milestone for you so it totally counts. I’m really proud of you, Heather.”

Heather hid her blush in the pillow. “You memorized what I sent you.”

“I read it like twenty times, so, yes.” Valencia’s grin broadened. “I mean it. You’re going after what matters to you and, in the meantime, you’re making a difference in this in-between space. Home Base isn’t your final stop, but it will be an improved establishment when you leave because you were with it for a while. You changed things for the better which, as far as I’m concerned, isn’t surprising in the least. You’ve been doing that for me since the day we met.”

Heather’s mouth twisted. Her gaze was warm with devotion. “What would I do without you?”

Valencia blew a kiss. Heather pantomimed a catch and pressed the air-touch to her cheekbone.

“You’d still take the world by storm,” Valencia declared, “but I’m thankful I get to be part of it.”

#H+V FF #CEG Writing by Me #Helencia #Heather x Valencia

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ettadunham · 5 years

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A Buffy rewatch 2x15 Phases

aka male aggression and the Buffy feminism

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and point out / hyperfocus on one detail in it in 10-3k words. Or maybe go through each and every random scene I choose. Rules are fake.

And today’s episode is one that I enjoy and love immensely, but it’s also the perfect opportunity to talk about the dreaded subject:

Why does Buffy’s feminism feel dated?

But before that, it’s time for everyone’s* (*my) favorite segment - Buffy/Willow out of context.

Buffy: Meow! Willow: Really? Thanks. I've never gotten a 'meow' before.

Even Larry’s being gross about wanting ‘some of that Buffy/Willow action’... And like... I know that you’re going through stuff my dude, but still., don’t ruin this for the rest of us.

Willow is also complaining about guys and dudes in general at least three different times in this episode. (Sometimes to Buffy, but sometimes to Cordelia??? I’m definitely sleeping on that ship.) And I’m just sitting here being like... aw, honey... you really don’t need them... trust me.

Anyhow, we could be sitting here dissecting all that, but I set out with a different goal today, and I’m trying to cut it short, so let’s talk.

Buffy feminism.

At this point anyone in and out of the fandom is familiar with the debate of how Buffy’s - and in turn, Whedon’s - feminism has aged, and that while it had a huge impact on its time and laid the groundwork for today’s popculture scene, we’ve evolved since then.

And I don’t think many would negate a lot of that. The Buffy feminism certainly lacks intersectionality and works with a lot of tropes and archetypes that has its fair share of negative elements and implications. And Whedon’s later work have memorably been taken to court by fandom for such cases.

So the question that I ended up on some time ago was a natural result of that trail of thought.

Was Buffy ever intended to be feminist?

Spoiler alert: the answer is both yes and no. It’s Schroedinger’s feminism.

But first, I want to make it clear that I don’t intend to argue that Buffy isn’t feminist, or didn’t influence our culture massively in that direction. In the 90s, a show with a female lead was still the outlier, and the fact that it gained such a universal following is somewhat mind-blowing. Especially if you consider the grudge our culture holds against teenage girls, even today.

On top of that, Buffy’s character concept goes against the idea of the Strong Female Character (often known as Female Side Character With Some Masculine Traits To Show That She’s Not Like Other Girls Who Can Kind Of Hold Her Own Next To Our Male Lead But He’s Still Better At Things Of Course), by being both immensely powerful and unabashedly teen girly. And then only becoming more complex and memorable as the seasons went on.

Not to mention the fact that the show also had an even ratio of female:male co-stars for most of its run. Meaning that there were plenty of other female characters to develop beside the titular lead, making it a largely female-driven series in general.

As a result of all that, it’s no wonder that Whedon gained a reputation as a staunch feminist - and again, he was a trailblazer when it came to female-led television shows... But I think conflating his ideals with the show’s themes is where we fell into a pitfall.

People complaining about diversity in media often cite ‘agendas’ or ‘pandering’. Which is an immensely simplified (and stupid) way to look at things that is meant to paint going against the norms in a negative way. See, if the creators decide to include characters of different backgrounds because it’s important to them, or because they want to talk about their own experiences, then they have an ‘agenda’. The agenda being using art to talk about things they find important, I guess...

And then there’s this idea that studios / companies / creators just want to please an under-served audience, and profit out of their enthusiasm when they make such media. In contrast to pleasing the audience of the status quo 90% of the time otherwise. I guess.

I’m bringing this all up because the argument that a lot of these people bring up is that representation and diversity is okay if there’s a “reason” for it. Which... yeah, we already covered why I think this line of thinking is so incredibly flawed, but on the other hand... I think Buffy actually satisfies that criteria.

Ideas such as gender roles are baked into show’s concept. Buffy is literally fighting the patriarchy and rape culture (among other things), so it only makes sense that she’s a girl. Meanwhile the character who will end up being gay is the one who struggles the most with their identity. These things are literally building into the bigger picture that the show’s attempting to make.

Now, I will say this though - differentiating and drawing the lines between these things (sincere desire for representation vs. financial strategy vs. exploring themes) is impossible. Everything can be a little bit of each or something else entirely. That’s also why debating intent to undermine representation is such a cheap transparent move.

Nevertheless, I have decided to approach Buffy’s feminism and many of its other themes from the angle of thematic intent. And this episode is a prime example of how the heightened reality of toxic masculinity and its deconstruction look like on the show.

Phases is very unsubtle when stating its thesis. All men are beasts (a reoccurring theme for sure). And for that we have three male characters to examine: Oz, Larry and Cain. (And to a lesser extent Xander and Giles)

Cain is pretty much the least complex of all. He’s a misogynistic douchebag who constantly berates Buffy for “being a girl”, while also hunting essentially human beings for money. He’s completely one-dimensional and irredeemable, and the only thing he’s good for is so Buffy could destroy his gun and tell him to get the hell out of town.

I suppose he’s also there to contrast Giles, but there’s not much there to talk about. Giles respects and supports Buffy, I guess.

Now, Larry and Oz - that’s a more interesting contrast.

Larry was previously introduced as Xander’s bully, but this episode goes above and beyond establishing him as an all around creep. He makes gross comments at all the girls and literally gropes Buffy, and it all culminates in the Scoobies deducting that he must be the werewolf for being so aggressive and douchey.

And then it turns out that... no, he’s just gay. Which, like... the Gay Bully is certainly a trope that’s probably died out at this point, but this does make sense in the context of this episode and the show’s tendency to deconstruct. The idea that performative aggression like Larry’s can actually be a sign of an unresolved conflict with ourselves. And once that’s resolved, we can find a way to live without that facade and be our more authentic self.

Which is an interesting way to contrast him with Oz, as he appears to be the sweetest, chillest guy in the whole Sunnydale area. He literally tucks the tag on Willow’s shirt back like??? Too good for this world.

But then it turns out that he’ll now also become a werewolf 3 days out of a month, a creature of pure instinct and aggression. And given how reserved Oz is in his day-to-day life, that’s an interesting dichotomy. Is that supposed to represent him getting his rage on and finally letting loose of his emotions, or does it suggest a more aggressive inner layer of his character in general?

(Future knowledge mostly points towards the former, but I feel like it’d be interesting to talk about Oz from the latter perspective.)

It’s also an interesting tidbit how the episode mentions that the werewolf could be female, but then continues to refer to them as a ‘he’ anyway. It’s as if the episode is self-aware of its own theme.

...But then we get a lycanthropy- period cycle parallel made in the end anyway, when Willow’s like ‘well, I’m not much fun to be around 3 days-a-month either’. So there’s that.

Then there’s Xander. I’ve recently heard about an alleged quote where Whedon apparently said that they considered writing either Willow or Xander as gay at some point. And that was certainly in my head during Larry’s coming out scene, which makes Xander’s intense no-homo reaction much more layered. He’s essentially Larry in that scenario, aggressively trying to ignore his own inner conflict.

...Which also made me think of another coming out scene on the show and Buffy’s initial, if brief reaction to it.

Looking at Xander’s character from this angle also puts his obsession with his masculinity into perspective. Although his character arc, especially given the show’s themes about gender roles, remains interesting either way.

Oh yeah, and he’s super jealous about Willow and Oz. We’ll definitely get back to that in S3.

Buffy’s comment about Oz being the loyal type meanwhile is S4 material.

Onwards!

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs talk #btvs

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apppayippyipp · 5 years

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He is not Messiah, he is a very naughty boy!!

Monty Python’s Life of Brian is the story of Brian of Nazareth who was born in a stable next to Christ. The film was not well received by the Christian communities due to its blasphemous content.[1] Although, the film does not specifically attack the story of Christ but does present a parallel story,it’s Jesus but not really Jesus. The blasphemous nature of the film presents a new perspective on Christianity thereby disrupting the Christian understandings. For instance, comparing Christ to Brian brings to question the lowliness of Christ as presented scripturally this being one theme which allows for the film to be regarded as blasphemous. In addition, dissecting the crucifixion of Brian reveals the importance of religion being subjected to critique. It reveals how easily aspects of belief could be tested, forcing Christians to reaffirm what they hold true. Finally, focusing on Monty Python themselves reveals how and why they were successful at this brazen attempt.

Brian is not meant to be the Godman but simply man, Brian is a lowly pheasant and Christ is a radiant being. This distinction is interesting due to its direct contradiction with the symbolism of Christ. The film twists his humbleness by illuminating Christ’ birth with bright lights, similar to the nativity scenes seen in Churches during Christmas. Quite in contrast to Brian’s dark and dingy stable, resembling more of a stable. It is interesting because the three magi arrive at Brian’s stable before realizing their mistake and take the gifts to Jesus, which Brian’s mother tries to prevent. Possibly a play on the humbleness of Christ they were expecting, which is reflected more in the birth of Brian. The scene sets the framework for what is to become of the rest of the film, following the life of an ordinary Jew who finds himself at the wrong place at the wrong time. That is also what makes the film provocative, Brian is more Christ than Christ is according to scripture.[2] It forces Christians to rethink the picture of Christ, which is uncomfortable.[3] Monty Python wanted their viewers, Christian or not to question the image of Christ. The experience could be similar to finding your professor jiving at a club, its not bad but just awkward, and it makes you ponder that maybe they do have social life. Therefore, the film pushes the Christian envelope regarding the image of Christ, which many prefer to keep sealed.

Monty Python use the film as a device to demonstrate an alternative perspective of the Christian faith. This alternative perspective is present in the crucifixion of Brian, which critiques aspects regarding the death of Christ. The death of Christ symbolises the Godman suffering death like a man for the salvation of humanity. However, the film makes light work of the suffering, reducing its importance and seriousness. One of the criminals in the film repeatedly demonstrates how he’s unbothered by the whole event of carrying and being nailed to the cross. Brian himself isn’t bothered by the procedure, but rather the dying, in contrast to the suffering depicted in the gospels.[4] The non existence of suffering is further demonstrated by their singing “Always look on the bright side of life” (a wonderfully catchy jingle) while nailed to the cross. Christ as imitated through Brian, is made to seem overly dramatic, because being crucified wasn’t actually that bad. However, suffering within the Christian tradition is fundamental to living a Christian life, reflected in the season of lent with fasting and other sacrifices.[5] Also, while Brian is on the cross, we see those closest too him mention they will never forget him and will remember him as a martyr. To which he replies to with a barrage of curses them for not rescuing him down from the cross. Interestingly, it toys with the legitimacy of the gospels, suggesting the gospels as an inflation of Christ’ true persona. Again, the creators are forcing their viewers to rethink what they may have already assumed about the narrative of Christ. Ergo, the film demonstrates its ability to test your faith.

Monty Python’s Life of Brian was produced by Monty Python, (as seen in the title) a comedy group based in England.

“Loosely structured as a sketch show, but with an innovative stream-of-consciousness approach, aided by Gilliam's animation, it pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable in style and content. A self-contained comedy team responsible for both writing and performing their work, the Pythons had creative control which allowed them to experiment with form and content, discarding rules of television comedy.” [6]

It was this creative control that allowed them to create works such as Life of Brian, which many would hesitate to produce. Their other films such as the meaning of life, also reflect the brazen confidence the group had to produce ‘woke’ films. Films that force us to re imagine elements of our lives we rarely stop to think about, while also being hilarious. Comedy is the perfect vehicle, as its difficult or harder to be upset about something when you are laughing. Well depending on the scenario, I don’t see how using comedy to let you know you your time on earth will be limited will be well received. Regardless, it is unfortunate films such as these which push the limits are seldom seen, but it could also be a result of persons not having the abilities that Monty Python had, blending comedy with woke topics.

[1] Sanjeev Bhaskar, “Why Monty Python’s ‘foul, Disgusting and Blasphemous’ Life of Brian Wouldn’t Get Made Today,” The Telegraph, April 16, 2018, https://www.telegraph.co.uk/films/0/monty-pythons-foul-disgusting-blasphemous-life-brian-wouldnt/.

[2] Andrew Murray, Humility (Bridge-Logos, 2009), 3.

[3] Hans Wiersma, “Word and World - Redeeming Life of Brian : How Monty Python (Ironically) Proclaims Christ Sub Contrario,” accessed March 12, 2019, https://wordandworld.luthersem.edu/issues.aspx?article_id=1605. 172.

[4] John 19

[5] David J. Melling, “Suffering and Sanctification in Christianity,” Religion Health & Suffering, October 28, 2013, https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203039243-7. 51.

[6] “Monty Python,” Wikipedia, March 4, 2019, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Monty_Python&oldid=886219622.

Bibliography

Bhaskar, Sanjeev. “Why Monty Python’s ‘foul, Disgusting and Blasphemous’ Life of Brian Wouldn’t Get Made Today.” The Telegraph, April 16, 2018. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/films/0/monty-pythons-foul-disgusting-blasphemous-life-brian-wouldnt/.

Crossley, James G. “Life of Brian or Life of Jesus? Uses of Critical Biblical Scholarship and Non-Orthodox Views of Jesus in Monty Python’s Life of Brian.” Relegere: Studies in Religion and Reception 1, no. 1 (July 12, 2011): 93–114. https://doi.org/10.11157/rsrr1-1-10.

Melling, David J. “Suffering and Sanctification in Christianity.” Religion Health & Suffering, October 28, 2013. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203039243-7.

“Monty Python.” Wikipedia, March 4, 2019. https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Monty_Python&oldid=886219622.

Murray, Andrew. Humility. Bridge-Logos, 2009.

Jones, Terry. Monty Python’s Life of Brian. Netflix. Warner Bros., 1979.

Wiersma, Hans. “Word and World - Redeeming Life of Brian : How Monty Python (Ironically) Proclaims Christ Sub Contrario.” Accessed March 12, 2019. https://wordandworld.luthersem.edu/issues.aspx?article_id=1605.

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isitkpop · 6 years

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Unexplainable Emotion Game

So, I felt like creating a new kind of game that would spark up my K-Pop writing spirit. ~ Admin Chas

So, the way how this will go is almost the same as my other games. Pick an emotions and let me know what member OR ship you would like for me to write!

I do have limitations for groups that I will do For this game specifically. THis is because some of the groups that I have on my Masterlist, are groups that I still don’t fully know. So, I’m putting a group limit on here. Please choose a member OR ship from the groups below (the emotion list will be below also.)

It’s under the cut since it’s lonnnnnggg

Groups:

A.C.E

BlackPink

BTS

Day6

EXO

GOT7

Infinite

Seventeen

Emotions! (W/Definitions. There’s 40 to choose from xD)

Onism - n. the awareness of how little of the world you’ll experience. Imagine standing in front of the departures screen at an airport, flickering over with strange place names like other people’s passwords, each representing one more thing you’ll never get to see before you die—and all because, as the arrow on the map helpfully points out, you are here.

Mal de Coucou - n. a phenomenon in which you have an active social life but very few close friends—people who you can trust, who you can be yourself with, who can help flush out the weird psychological toxins that tend to accumulate over time—which is a form of acute social malnutrition in which even if you devour an entire buffet of chitchat, you’ll still feel pangs of hunger.

Sonder - n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

Hanker Sore - adj. finding a person so attractive it actually kinda pisses you off.

Chrysalism - n. the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm, listening to waves of rain pattering against the roof like an argument upstairs, whose muffled words are unintelligible but whose crackling release of built-up tension you understand perfectly.

Altschmerz - n. weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had—the same boring flaws and anxieties you’ve been gnawing on for years, which leaves them soggy and tasteless and inert, with nothing interesting left to think about, nothing left to do but spit them out and wander off to the backyard, ready to dig up some fresher pain you might have buried long ago.

Occhiolism - n. the awareness of the smallness of your perspective, by which you couldn’t possibly draw any meaningful conclusions at all, about the world or the past or the complexities of culture, because although your life is an epic and unrepeatable anecdote, it still only has a sample size of one, and may end up being the control for a much wilder experiment happening in the next room.

Ambedo - n. a kind of melancholic trance in which you become completely absorbed in vivid sensory details—raindrops skittering down a window, tall trees leaning in the wind, clouds of cream swirling in your coffee—briefly soaking in the experience of being alive, an act that is done purely for its own sake.

Nodus Tollens - n. the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand, that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre—which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.

Liberosis - n. the desire to care less about things—to loosen your grip on your life, to stop glancing behind you every few steps, afraid that someone will snatch it from you before you reach the end zone—rather to hold your life loosely and playfully, like a volleyball, keeping it in the air, with only quick fleeting interventions, bouncing freely in the hands of trusted friends, always in play.

Vemödalen - n. the frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist—the same sunset, the same waterfall, the same curve of a hip, the same closeup of an eye—which can turn a unique subject into something hollow and pulpy and cheap, like a mass-produced piece of furniture you happen to have assembled yourself.

Kairosclerosis - n. the moment you realize that you’re currently happy—consciously trying to savor the feeling—which prompts your intellect to identify it, pick it apart and put it in context, where it will slowly dissolve until it’s little more than an aftertaste.

Vellichor - n. the strange wistfulness of used bookstores, which are somehow infused with the passage of time—filled with thousands of old books you’ll never have time to read, each of which is itself locked in its own era, bound and dated and papered over like an old room the author abandoned years ago, a hidden annex littered with thoughts left just as they were on the day they were captured.

Rückkehrunruhe - n. the feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness—to the extent you have to keep reminding yourself that it happened at all, even though it felt so vivid just days ago—which makes you wish you could smoothly cross-dissolve back into everyday life, or just hold the shutter open indefinitely and let one scene become superimposed on the next, so all your days would run together and you’d never have to call cut.

Nighthawk - n. a recurring thought that only seems to strike you late at night—an overdue task, a nagging guilt, a looming and shapeless future—that circles high overhead during the day, that pecks at the back of your mind while you try to sleep, that you can successfully ignore for weeks, only to feel its presence hovering outside the window, waiting for you to finish your coffee, passing the time by quietly building a nest.

Dead Reckoning - n. to find yourself bothered by someone’s death more than you would have expected, as if you assumed they would always be part of the landscape, like a lighthouse you could pass by for years until the night it suddenly goes dark, leaving you with one less landmark to navigate by—still able to find your bearings, but feeling all that much more adrift.

Pâro - n. the feeling that no matter what you do is always somehow wrong—that any attempt to make your way comfortably through the world will only end up crossing some invisible taboo—as if there’s some obvious way forward that everybody else can see but you, each of them leaning back in their chair and calling out helpfully, colder, colder, colder.

Midsummer - n. a feast celebrated on the day of your 26th birthday, which marks the point at which your youth finally expires as a valid excuse—when you must begin harvesting your crops, even if they’ve barely taken root—and the point at which the days will begin to feel shorter as they pass, until even the pollen in the air reminds you of the coming snow.

Adronitis - n. frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone—spending the first few weeks chatting in their psychological entryway, with each subsequent conversation like entering a different anteroom, each a little closer to the center of the house—wishing instead that you could start there and work your way out, exchanging your deepest secrets first, before easing into casualness, until you’ve built up enough mystery over the years to ask them where they’re from, and what they do for a living.

Rigor Samsa - n. a kind of psychological exoskeleton that can protect you from pain and contain your anxieties, but always ends up cracking under pressure or hollowed out by time—and will keep growing back again and again, until you develop a more sophisticated emotional structure, held up by a strong and flexible spine, built less like a fortress than a cluster of tree houses.

Silience - n. the kind of unnoticed excellence that carries on around you every day, unremarkably—the hidden talents of friends and coworkers, the fleeting solos of subway buskers, the slapdash eloquence of anonymous users, the unseen portfolios of aspiring artists—which would be renowned as masterpieces if only they’d been appraised by the cartel of popular taste, who assume that brilliance is a rare and precious quality, accidentally overlooking buried jewels that may not be flawless but are still somehow perfect.

Fitzcarraldo - n. an image that somehow becomes lodged deep in your brain—maybe washed there by a dream, or smuggled inside a book, or planted during a casual conversation—which then grows into a wild and impractical vision that keeps scrambling back and forth in your head like a dog stuck in a car that’s about to arrive home, just itching for a chance to leap headlong into reality.

Keyframe - n. a moment that seemed innocuous at the time but ended up marking a diversion into a strange new era of your life—set in motion not by a series of jolting epiphanies but by tiny imperceptible differences between one ordinary day and the next, until entire years of your memory can be compressed into a handful of indelible images—which prevents you from rewinding the past, but allows you to move forward without endless buffering.

Gnossienne - n. a moment of awareness that someone you’ve known for years still has a private and mysterious inner life, and somewhere in the hallways of their personality is a door locked from the inside, a stairway leading to a wing of the house that you’ve never fully explored—an unfinished attic that will remain maddeningly unknowable to you, because ultimately neither of you has a map, or a master key, or any way of knowing exactly where you stand.

Anecdoche - n. a conversation in which everyone is talking but nobody is listening, simply overlaying disconnected words like a game of Scrabble, with each player borrowing bits of other anecdotes as a way to increase their own score, until we all run out of things to say.

Catoptric Tristesse - n. the sadness that you’ll never really know what other people think of you, whether good, bad or if at all—that although we reflect on each other with the sharpness of a mirror, the true picture of how we’re coming off somehow reaches us softened and distorted, as if each mirror was preoccupied with twisting around, desperately trying to look itself in the eye.

Anemoia - n. nostalgia for a time you’ve never known. Imagine stepping through the frame into a sepia-tinted haze, where you could sit on the side of the road and watch the locals passing by. Who lived and died before any of us arrived here, who sleep in some of the same houses we do, who look up at the same moon, who breathe the same air, feel the same blood in their veins—and live in a completely different world.

Mimeomia - n. the frustration of knowing how easily you fit into a stereotype, even if you never intended to, even if it’s unfair, even if everyone else feels the same way—each of us trick-or-treating for money and respect and attention, wearing a safe and predictable costume because we’re tired of answering the question, “What are you supposed to be?”

Monachopsis - n. the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you’d be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home.

Semaphorism - n. a conversational hint that you have something personal to say on the subject but don’t go any further—an emphatic nod, a half-told anecdote, an enigmatic ‘I know the feeling’—which you place into conversations like those little flags that warn diggers of something buried underground: maybe a cable that secretly powers your house, maybe a fiberoptic link to some foreign country.

Énouement - n. the bittersweetness of having arrived here in the future, where you can finally get the answers to how things turn out in the real world—who your baby sister would become, what your friends would end up doing, where your choices would lead you, exactly when you’d lose the people you took for granted—which is priceless intel that you instinctively want to share with anybody who hadn’t already made the journey, as if there was some part of you who had volunteered to stay behind, who was still stationed at a forgotten outpost somewhere in the past, still eagerly awaiting news from the front.

Daguerreologue - n. an imaginary interview with an old photo of yourself, an enigmatic figure who still lives in the grainy and color-warped house you grew up in, who may well spend a lot of their day wondering where you are and what you’re doing now, like an old grandma whose kids live far away and don’t call much anymore.

Fata Organa - n. a flash of real emotion glimpsed in someone sitting across the room, idly locked in the middle of some group conversation, their eyes glinting with vulnerability or quiet anticipation or cosmic boredom—as if you could see backstage through a gap in the curtains, watching stagehands holding their ropes at the ready, actors in costume mouthing their lines, fragments of bizarre sets waiting for some other production.

Avenoir - n. the desire that memory could flow backward. We take it for granted that life moves forward. But you move as a rower moves, facing backwards: you can see where you’ve been, but not where you’re going. And your boat is steered by a younger version of you. It’s hard not to wonder what life would be like facing the other way…

Kenopsia - n. the eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that’s usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet—a school hallway in the evening, an unlit office on a weekend, vacant fairgrounds—an emotional afterimage that makes it seem not just empty but hyper-empty, with a total population in the negative, who are so conspicuously absent they glow like neon signs.

The Tilt Shift - n. a phenomenon in which your lived experience seems oddly inconsequential once you put it down on paper, which turns an epic tragicomedy into a sequence of figures on a model train set, assembled in their tiny classrooms and workplaces, wandering along their own cautious and well-trodden paths—peaceable, generic and out of focus.

Jouska - n. a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head—a crisp analysis, a cathartic dialogue, a devastating comeback—which serves as a kind of psychological batting cage where you can connect more deeply with people than in the small ball of everyday life, which is a frustratingly cautious game of change-up pitches, sacrifice bunts, and intentional walks.

Ecstatic Shock - n. the surge of energy upon catching a glance from someone you like—a thrill that starts in your stomach, arcs up through your lungs and flashes into a spontaneous smile—which scrambles your ungrounded circuits and tempts you to chase that feeling with a kite and a key.

Heartworm - n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

Xeno - n. the smallest measurable unit of human connection, typically exchanged between passing strangers—a flirtatious glance, a sympathetic nod, a shared laugh about some odd coincidence—moments that are fleeting and random but still contain powerful emotional nutrients that can alleviate the symptoms of feeling alone.

#kpop #ace #bts #blackpink #day6 #exo #got7 #infinite #seventeen #ask game #drabble game #emotion game

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lansdellicious · 3 years

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The Quest for a Good Burger, or Why I’m NOT a Food Snob

I love food. There’s a distinct lack of qualifier on that sentence; depending on my mood I can savour every manicured bite of a nine-course tasting menu or go face and eyes into a big ol’ plate of fries. Given that I tend to write more about finer dining on this blog (and on Instagram), it often surprises people to hear that I enjoy Burger King or Thai Express as much as I do Loose Tie or Exile. Not as much as Raymond’s though, that place stands alone.

I think this seeming contradiction is most evident to others during the various burger battles here in town. When I spend a month posting photos of 30-odd burgers, it can give the impression that I feel I’m “too good” for a Big Mac. It’s exacerbated by the fact that when a restaurant puts on a simple burger, I can often be less than excited by it. I get it. The reality is though that “a good burger” packs a lot of assumption and meaning into three words. I thought it might be fun to lay out what I consider when deciding if a burger is good.

Perspective, Expectation and Subjectivity

First and foremost, any opinion of anything, from food to music to politics, is subjective. We all look for different things, we all value different things, and that’s the way it should be. If we all liked the same things done the same way, life would be incredibly boring. So beyond anything else, keep that in mind when reading any food blog, not just mine - it’s the opinion of the writer.

Beyond that, food does not exist in a vacuum. When I go to McDonald’s, I do not expect wagyu beef topped with foie gras on a potato bun with aged cheddar and thick-cut peameal bacon. Without meaning any disrespect, the average McDonald’s kitchen staff does not have the training to put something like that together, let alone the ingredients. Fast food places are perfect for when you want something quick, that will be almost the same every time, and fills a craving. There is a definite need for places like that! Even better is when these places do push the boat out a little bit and bring out a new burger.

Creating this requires freedom, training and time

In contrast, when I do go to a “sit-down” restaurant I expect the burger to be commensurate with the increased cost, wait and skill level of the chef. That’s not to say it can’t be a traditional, basic burger (Frida’s Riverside Café did an excellent job with that recently), but if going that route it needs to be elevated and done to perfection. I think of it like degree of difficulty in gymnastics - if you choose the safe routine, your base score starts low and will require near-perfect execution. In theory these restaurants have more freedom, higher-quality ingredients and many years of training that should allow them to deliver a higher-quality product.

With that said, when you tell me what your burger is going to be you are setting an expectation. That, combined with what I am expecting in terms of quality when I walk in the door, forms the base score of your burger. The degree of difficulty, if you will. If you tell me your burger is spicy, it needs to be spicy. If you call it a bacon BBQ feast, it needs more than two miserable wafer-thin pieces of bacon. And please, for the love of all that is good, don’t omit ingredients! That might be my biggest pet peeve.

Places like The Burger House are not inherently worse than a sit-down spot.

Getting Judgey With It

Keeping all the above in mind, the things I want in a burger do not change based on who made it. What changes is the level I expect them to reach. Clearly, the most important thing I want is taste. Ingredients, presentation, or anything else aside - if it tastes great, many sins can be forgiven. There are many facets to that, but overall if I enjoy the burger I will be more positively disposed.

But what goes into that? Choice of toppings is important, but perhaps of equal importance is getting the proportions right. Some things work very well on a burger, but not with each other. For me, pickles and peanut butter are one such combination. Barbeque sauce is good, but if you overload on it you will drown out anything else. Even something as innocent as lettuce, which generally has little flavour of its own, can make a difference. Shredded iceberg will give a different texture and crunch than you get from leafy romaine. Planning and thought needs to go in to your toppings. Similarly, make them fit the burger. A slice of processed cheese can work on a fast food burger, and I can even overlook it if you are going for that classic feel on a sit-down burger. With the multitude of cheeses at your disposal though, it would not belong on a more complex or themed burger. Not every burger needs cheese!

Related to that is the bun, and everything to do with the bun. When you think about it, the bun is such an important part of enjoying a burger. It has to hold everything together, not disintegrate, not slip too much, and add to the overall flavour without taking over from it or damaging it. Sometimes you want the sturdiness of a pretzel bun; other times your burger has a more delicate flavour profile and might need a potato bun. Still others might want something rich and buttery to add depth, so you go with a brioche. All of this matters. Burgers with a lot of sauce are particularly hard to manage here (hello ciabatta), as leakage and absorption can both damage the structural integrity of your delivery system. People have less fun when they have to worry about staining their clothes and cleaning their hands, especially these days when everyone has a phone next to their plate.

For me, creativity is the final big thing I look for in a burger. Obviously this doesn’t apply to the classics - I’m not looking for a new Whopper experience every time. In fact part of their appeal is the consistency! This applies to the new burgers, and it applies even more to burgers that are trying to win a competition. Show me something new. Give me a combination that hasn’t been done to death. Take inspiration from other dishes. One of my favourite examples of this recently was when Mill St Brew Pub (RIP) put a smash burger between two glazed donuts. The execution wasn’t perfect but the idea was unique in the competition and has not been done since. The Guv’nor Inn has nailed this concept several times: a burger on a touton, then on an English muffin. This is where A&W shines above the other fast food chains in my mind, as their special burgers actually tend to feel different from their regular offerings instead of just changing a sauce or using a ciabatta.

While this is far from an exhaustive list, these are my primary considerations when I am trying a new burger. One that can’t really be quantified is the mood I am in. If I just want a fast, known-quantity grilled-tasting burger then no amount of fancy toppings is going to sway me...I’m going to Burger King. All else being equal, though, this is my thought process.

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portfolioshowcase · 6 years

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Interview, Autumn Durald - A Transforming Force

Hey, Autumn! Are you having fun shooting a western film?

Unfortunately the western I was supposed to shoot at the start of the year was pushed. When we do start shooting it will be a wild ride.

Are you doing things differently with this project or there are significant changes to how you shoot?

The short film has the same storyline so we already had a test run at the visuals. On the short film, I shot 35mm anamorphic and I flashed and pulled the film stock. I plan on doing that as well for the feature along with some other tricks.

As the imagery should tell the right story, and each story has it's own look, Do you think it's possible for a Cinematographer to have a particular visual aesthetic?

When I first started out I didn’t use to subscribe to this theory, however, I do now. I find that people often tell me that there’s definitely a particular visual style in all of my work. Which made me think more about other Cinematographers work I love, and now I can see why someone would say that. Every story has its own distinctive look, but a DP definitely brings their taste and eye to each project, and if you have a strong one then it shines.

How do you translate the combined vision of the writer and the director - on film? Have there been times when you went a little too adventurous?

All of my feature work, now six features have been with writer-directors. This makes it easy when talking to the director about the vision since he/she also wrote it. I wouldn’t say I’ve ever gone too adventurous, nothing the director and I didn’t dive into together. On the Arcade Fire “porno” music video/documentary film I shot for director Kahlil Joseph in Haiti we definitely did some adventurous things, but he is a very adventurous filmmaker so it’s par for the course when you shoot with him.

Do you feel that the courage to allow the moments of the characters and the overall atmosphere to be raw, not just as a form of a mental stimulation but more visible is something that makes increases the viewer's investment into the film? Can it increase the emotional magnitude of the film?

Some stories should be told visually with a lighter touch, then the characters stand out the most. It’s not our job as Cinematographers to take our audience out of the story by showing how flashy our work can be or how cool our framing is. If our choices don’t suit the story and add depth to the emotional quality of the scene then we aren’t doing our job correctly. I don’t think an image has to be handheld and only naturally lit to feel realistic or raw. If those qualities are appropriate then great, but I do think you can manufacture a realistic tone through lighting it and keeping the camera more still.

When you are shooting, do you ever think about whether you would want the audience to be an experiencer standing by or let's say a third actor in the film? How do you experience the movies or photographs you reference to or enjoy?

Definitely depends on the project. I’d say for Palo Alto it was important to express intimately what these teenagers were going through and have you feel like you were a part of their world. We also chose not to shoot it in a gritty handheld doc style. I don’t think the camera work or look has to be loose for audiences to feel like they are apart of the scene. Gia and I favored a much more considered camera style and dreamy visuals, and we knew our audiences were sophisticated enough to relate.

Coming back to your process, can you talk to us about how you transform the use of light according to specific scenes and according to the nature of the film? Can you please share with us some of your experiences over the years shooting and working with light?

When I was at AFI (my graduate film school) my focus was always more lighting driven. The DPs that inspired me to choose Cinematography as a career had a very strong sense of light in their work. Gordon Willis, Harris Savides, Conrad Hall, and Michael Ballhaus. Sadly none of these DPs are with us anymore but their work is incomparable. So I made it a point early on in my career to learn lighting and what a gaffer does, and what they do well. I find the technical aspect of lighting intriguing and early on I always paid attention to what my gaffers and electricians were doing on set. When I read a script one of the first things I can visualize is how the light falls in the space or scene. I’m not sure why that is or when in my career this happened but it's something that becomes apparent first. After discussing the look with the director this definitely evolves, but I start from there. If it’s a period piece there are already some limitations set in stone depending on the genre. I favor using hard and soft light together in a scene. And most importantly where the light comes from should serve a purpose.

Can you share with us the experiences you went through in order to widen your vision, your imagination and your dreams? Is it exhausting to spread your wings in a society as it is?

The two most important things a good DP should draw from is her/his sense of taste and their confidence. When you have a good sense of taste and the confidence to carry it out that’s where the images speak for themselves. It can be exhausting at times to get the projects you want to shoot. This career has a lot to do with determination and patience. Since Palo Alto, I get offered a ton of coming of age films. That is not the only story I want to tell or can tell. So it takes some work convincing this industry that you can shoot a variety of genres. Putting in that work can be exhausting but you’re a better DP for it. I wrapped a film called Teen Spirit last summer, it was an amazing experience and probably the film that most widened my vision and imagination. The film turned into something so special that I couldn't’ have predicted that when I read the script. Those are the most enlightening experiences, when you work your ass off, along with your team, and your directors' vision shines and they ultimately put together a good film. Those experiences can be few and far between. That’s when you feel your wings spreading when everything just comes together and you're proud of the final film you shot. Finding directors to work with that inspire you and you trust to tell great stories is one of the most important things I’ve learned making films.

Do you feel as more women come into filmmaking, they are going to bring an entirely new perspective to it and ultimately inspire a life from the heart than the mind?

The best and most successful films ultimately all come from the heart. That’s why you feel so emotionally connected to them. Female filmmakers started making films in the late 1800’s. It’s only now we’ve decided to shine a huge light on the subject. If audiences were paying attention, female told stories and perspectives have been out there for a long time. Now this current light on female filmmakers is allowing more women opportunities which are allowing more of those stories to be told. Hopefully, one day making it more of an equal landscape, mainstream films directed by women and men. Instead of what we’re most used to seeing at the box office, female and male stories told by men. I appreciate both perspectives, I think it’s fascinating to watch a female protagonist directed by a man and then see one directed by a woman. This diversity is what makes filmmaking so fun. You don’t need to be a male to tell a mans story and vice versa. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I can’t shoot a masculine film. One of my favorite lensed films is BLOW, I remember the first time I saw it I looked up who the DP was. I was so delighted and inspired to see it was shot by a woman. Ellen Kuras is one of the reasons I thought I could even do this job when I finally decided to pursue it. Great cinematography or filmmaking shouldn’t see gender.

Before I ask you the last question, can you tell us, how would you compose silence?

Not sure how I would go about that, but if I was brainstorming a way to do it, I would start by sitting in a room with a Rothko painting.

Lastly, what would you suggest or share with other cinematographers?

Find your own sense of visual style and taste and run with it. Great work comes from the soul and only you can tell that story. Don’t be too concerned with making everything so precious in the frame. When you do that it tends to draw you away from the actual story and also the other artists making the film with you. You learn more about your style, the way you shoot and telling stories by all your mistakes. Take those mistakes and learn from them, don’t forget them. I am fortunate enough to do this as a career and I love my job, but this job is nothing without the people I work with. Filmmaking is a team effort and without that support, we as DPs can’t carry out our vision. Always appreciate your hard working crew and figure out the best way to lead them. And last but not least, for all you girls who want to be DPs but are discouraged by the lack of diversity in the industry, just go out and do it. There shouldn’t be anything stopping you. If you have a unique perspective and can create beautiful images, that is enough to get your foot in some door. I hope seeing more female shooters now is a testament to that.

Interview with Autumn Durald Arkapaw

WWW.AUTUMNDURALD.COM

www.instagram.com/addp

Interviewed by The Portfolio

#Interview #Cinemtographer #Palo Alto #Untogether #One and Two #The Good Time Girls

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fuse2dx · 4 years

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September ‘20

Paradise Killer

Putting it out there front and centre that I know some of the folks involved in creating this, and clearly I’m devoid of sufficient integrity to be impartial. You know, it’s best to get these things out there, with the internet being what it is.

It’s a whodunnit set in Paradise, with your character having been brought back from exile and tasked with solving who’s responsible for the mass-murder of the island’s core council. There’s a clear set up with one guy already due to take the fall, but it quickly becomes apparent that the island’s populous of weird deities - who perhaps have too much time on their hands - clearly have more of a stake in this than they’d like you to know. You’re left to investigate at your own pace, poking around crime scenes and places of interest, but also soaking up the island and its vibe as a whole. Getting reacquainted with its residents is a massive chunk of this, and if their out-there names, colourful outfits, and eccentric behaviours weren’t enough to draw you in, there’s more serious manners such as allegiances and motives to start peeling back the layers of. Titbits of info gleaned will often give you the opportunity to eke more out of someone else, and although the game does a great job of subtly nudging you to where loose ends might best be chased down, you’re given the freedom and ultimate responsibility on when to start wrapping things up at trial.

Given the potential for disorder in its narrative structure, the game’s job in cataloging all of your gathered information is crucially neat in its execution. The free rein that allows you to be as orderly and meticulous as you choose is welcome, as is the gentle push towards the truth of things. But there’s also just enough space to sink into convenient falsehoods - even to present them at trial and make them stick, if you can pass on that conviction - and it’s this freedom that really sets it apart from its contemporaries. Helping this is a fully realised island you can move about in and investigate, rather than doled out chunks of exposition by chains of talking head sequences. More salacious secrets are typically locked behind puzzles or specific items, but there’s also a particularly inviting nature to the architecture that suggests playful acrobatics - dashing, double-jumping and the like - be used to explore out-of-reach areas.

The look is tinged in pinks and blues, giving a suitably welcoming glow to Paradise. It’s warmth is helped massively by the soundtrack that runs throughout it, bringing pleasant, jazzy saxophones and subtle, warm electronics into its city-pop inspired stable. There’s a great voice running through its veins too - one that operates in its unspoken thoughts, the descriptions of its collectables, even the interface and the sub-headers as you enter new areas - just about damn everywhere. It’s smart, it’s cynical, and it’s snappy, and is a regular factor in keeping a smile on your face even in the moments that get closest to being downtime. Bias be damned! I can say, hand-on-heart, that it’s a game that not just nestles in comfortably among its peers, but stands tall among them.

Moon

Cult status can be a double edged sword. For anything cult - movies, albums, games, you name it - there’s that risk that if put under a modern lens, they can be painfully of their time. Cherished by those that were there, perhaps, but impenetrable - or even worse, alienating - for those without that context. Previously a Japan-only PS1 title, Moon has held such status for 20+ long years, but on its return, lets you know very quickly that a lot of what it had to say was timeless.

Its sending-up of RPG tropes is pretty spot on - the game-within-a-game that your character boots up got a big belly laugh out of me almost immediately, and then leads into a montage of a hero’s journey through a world that you’re then later transported into to pick up the pieces. See, the ‘hero’ in the game is kind of a jerk - barging into people’s homes, taking things out of their cupboards, killing all of the wildlife, and so on - and while this likely sounds very familiar, Moon prompts you to remove that filter of normal game behaviour, and instead asks that you try and be a bit more conscionable and pleasant. Acts of kindness to others are repaid in love, a tangible currency that grows your love level, allowing you to spend more time in its world before you need to rest and begin your day’s busy-bodying anew. Observing the routines of the world’s inhabitants is key to making good on its many grievances, and although these are straightforward enough at the start, some of the later challenges relied on some more tenuous thinking - to which, I’ll put my hands up and say that I turned to a walkthrough. These more patience-testing moments might have been a good way to pad things out in ‘97, however it’s a bit steeper an ask today, when I daresay most people will be visiting this as more of a curiosity. Accepting a helping hand doesn’t stand in the way of these scenarios delivering on the charm, surprise, or humour they originally aimed for, though. Labelling it a parody or a spoof might work as a descriptive shortcut, but it’s never mean spirited, and clearly loves the subjects it pokes fun at - there’s a wonderfully self-effacing humility throughout it.

Given Final Fantasy 7 - often cited as a common entry point for many modern western fans of JRPGs - didn’t even arrive in Europe until after this originally released, it’s not hard to understand why it wasn’t considered for localisation at the time. The audience certainly didn’t exist at scale, and simply wouldn’t have had the gaming experience or vocabulary to appreciate it. Not only can we now better appreciate it as the tongue-in-cheek love letter it is, but the message of compassion and thoughtfulness is something that’s more essential today than arguably ever before.

Spelunky 2

This was always on my radar as a likely ‘game of the generation’ contender. I’ve been playing the original game on and off now for around 8 years - it’s followed me as a regular part of my gaming diet across 4 different platforms, and crucially, all the way up until the night before this finally landed on my PS4. Without getting too philosophical about it, it’s a very important game to me. Despite all of the time playing it, thinking about it, talking about it, or even reading the gosh darned book about it, I never once thought to assume I had the answer for what would make a fitting sequel. Thankfully, the team behind it had more ideas, and the faith in their convictions.

All of the crucial components of the original are here in abundance, and added to with a restrained modesty. Its randomly generated levels are more complex, and offer more distinct ways of hiding secrets, all while a subtle but slick graphical overhaul does great work in making them look more organic than ever before. More complex fluid physics allows for more transformative ways of opening up levels, and mounts might add some quirky new dynamics to things, but crucially, things under the hood beside this remain largely the same.

Perhaps more importantly, Spelunky 2 understands the fervent player base centred around the original game, and uses their knowledge and familiarity to challenge them anew with clinical precision. Things are just similar enough: the title screen, the tutorial, many of the enemies, and the stages that you find them in - they’re tweaked, yes, but still familiar. On top though, there’s enough that’s new, or changed in a minute yet specific way that makes it very clear that things are going to be uniquely dangerous all over again, and that your muscle memory is more of a liability than a crutch. The curve of learning the game - understanding and tempering its dangers, and the slow, cautious, pulling back the curtain of its newer secrets - is still pitched in the same utterly compelling way as before, though. Rather than being harder outright, or just more lumped on top, it finds a way to make new players and familiar faces alike to learn to play Spelunky all over again, and it’s a total joy to have that opportunity. It’s everything I didn't realise I wanted in a sequel, and it’s breathed a new lease of life into a game that I wasn’t even bored with in the first place.

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1 & 2 Remastered

The original THPS was proper lightning in a bottle stuff; while its countless sequels eventually drained every good idea bone dry, and it left countless half-baked spin-offs in its wake, it’s hard to be mad, or surprised, when the original formula was so potent. Underpinned by a brilliant combo system that called back to arcade-style score chasing, in tandem it also nailed the kind of goal-based mission objectives that became so common after it. This is before you even get on to the way that skateboarding’s irreverence, fashion, and music were curated and presented in such a way that they left a mark on an entire generation. Sports titles are often glossed over from a critical perspective, but there is no escaping the quality and impact of this series.

This remaster tries to capture it at its zenith - and although they’re arguably off by a game or two, depending on who you talk to - it’s generally welcome that some of the ideas from later games are pared back. What it does with these first two games is for my money, the gold standard of what a remaster should do - it makes them look and feel like you imagined they did at the time; smooth, detailed, and responsive. Please, don’t make me go back and look at what the originals actually did look like, because I don’t think my poor brain could take it. The kitchen sink has been thrown at everything surrounding the game, with more relevant and diverse skaters brought into the fold, menus upon menus hiding a wealth of additional challenges, and a soundtrack that celebrates the older, punkier roots of the game, but also shines a light on some musical features that are perhaps more relevant to today’s youth. It’s all handled with a surprising elegance.

It’s a great new way to introduce the series to people, and also a nice outlet for old hands, with my only real criticism being that I had blasted through both of the original tours within a day of dropping the disc in my system. Yes, I could chase high scores endlessly, and yes, there’s a park builder and an abundance of multiplayer modes - but if you’ve finished these games before and just want to revisit them with a new lick of paint, don’t be surprised when it dries out fast.

#paradise killer #moon #spelunky 2 #tony hawks pro skater

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sylleboi · 4 years

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𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖉𝖔𝖊𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓 𝖒𝖊𝖆𝖓?

A growing glossary for my confused brain, all being alphabetical.

Accidental: When speaking of something accidental, most often you’d associate it with making a mistake. In art, that is an often occurrence; but it’s not always for the worse! Mistakes can force you to see your creation from a different perspective or make you have to think outside the box to cover it up/blend it into the rest of the picture. You might even end up liking your mistake as it is and choose to then embrace it.

Allegorical: Allegory is often used in art as a way to convey and symbolize a deeper moral or spiritual meaning such as; death, life, jealousy, hatred, etc.

Angular: This refers to some kind of shape, object or an outline having sharp angles and corners.

Animatic: Essentially it can be described as a moving story that is synced up to audio. In the animation industry, it is used to create a rough visual of the final product with the use of the voice recording that they have had their voice actors record. During this process, they can add and take away everything they feel like.

Animation: A series of linked images placed in a sequence to create the illusion of movement and life

Antagonist: They are the rival of the protag. A person who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something; an adversary. They are often portrayed as characters with a dark background; an example of this could be an evil ruler that grew up in an abusive environment or something alike.

Archetype: This can be defined as a very typical example of a certain person or thing, often very generalising/stereotypes, but this is not how you would define archetypes in storytelling specifically. Archetypes can be defined as for example; the sidekick or comical release character (the jester), the mentor (wise), the innocent, the explorer, the hero, the lover, the ally, the trickster, the guardian, the shadow, the ruler, the friendly beast. Essentially, they are different roles.

Automatic: This is a way of tapping into the unconscious mind. When you create something using the technique of automatism, it means that you aren’t thinking about what you are drawing, have drawn and is going to draw next, you simply just let the pen and your hand do the work while your head is left to rest.

Chaotic: When referring to something being chaotic, most often you’d use this term to describe a piece of artwork, depending on how many individual aspects are put together on the “canvas”. In some cases, if the artist has a lot to say, it might end up affecting the way it turns out in the end; chaotic. If a piece of art is chaotic or feels busy, it could reflect something allegorical as well; a hidden meaning hiding in between all of the distractions.

Chattering: It generally means that each frame in a given animation isn’t lined up completely evenly; general imperfections are often very easy to spot once played back, but with practice, it can be avoided quite efficiently.

Clean up: This is part of the overall process of animating. It is especially often used in hand-drawn/analogue/traditional animation. In this workflow, the first (conceptual) drawings are called roughs, referring to how they are very loose and rough at this stage. Professionally speaking, when the director has approved of these roughs, this is when clean versions of these are created. This process is called clean up. The term of clean up can also be referred to as, for example, when you have done frames in ink and some of it may smudge in the process, you can scan in the frames and proceed by cleaning up the frames digitally.

Climax: A climax builds upon everything that has been introduced during the exposition and rising action. This is the moment of truth for the protagonist and the peak moment of the story. You know the plot is successful at delivering a good climax when the outer journeys and the inner goals of which the protagonist wish to complete click.

Considered: Opposite to automatism, considered art has been planned out before being done. Sometimes artists even go as far as planning out each line and colour before applying to the final product. This can be done by doing a bunch of tests and sketches, or by mind-mapping ideas beforehand.

Denouement: Denouement (resolution) is a fancy way of saying that the story is about to come to an end. At this point, all questions are resolved and answered; letting the reader.

Encounter: (verb) Unexpectedly be faced with or experience (something hostile or difficult). (noun) An unexpected or casual meeting with someone or something.

Exposition: This is where the characters of the story gets introduced alongside the story and plot itself. This is often the most difficult part to set up successfully, simply because you need to capture the readers/viewers/target audiences’ attention and have then clued in on what’s going on in the story, but this has to be done without completely spoiling the rest of the story. It is important to not mistake exposition and an info dump.

Falling action: So, what now? You’ve technically finished the story. Finishing a story after a climax or during one is what is known as a cliff-hanger. Cliff hangers work well in film series, but they don’t feel as satisfying. A way to see falling action could be as the old saying; “What goes up must come down.” Putting together any hanging threads not yet solved in the plot is done during this stage.

Frame by Frame: An animation will only work if key positions are lined up together. There has to be a start and a finish for it to be a successful frame by frame animation.

Illustration: When talking about illustration, it describes usually a drawing or an altered picture of some kind. It can also be referred to the act of illustrating; (creating, drawing, altering, etc.)

Inanimate: Doesn’t move or have any life to it. Lack of consciousness and power or motion. Not endowed with life and spirit. Some examples being; bricks; it comes alive if you throw it. inanimate things come to life.

Incongruent:

Juxtaposition: This is when you bring together two opposite things that may not naturally go together, go together; creating contrast.

Linework/Keyline: Linework can simply be put as a specific technique of drawing lines when talking about art. There are countless ways in which you can interpret linework, some of them being; bold, fine, scattered, clean, sharp, fluid, altering thickness, etc. - When talking about keyline, it can relate to linework as the planning part of linework. To give an example of this, it could be that you outline the image or shape of something, planning where the linework has to be placed; keyline.

Looping: Looping is where you have a sequence of frames that repeats infinitely. The first frame is the same as the last frame. It’s like an endless cycle. It’s a labor-saving technique for animation repetitive motions; walking, a breeze in the trees or running.

Model Sheet: When talking about model sheets (also known as a character board, character study or character sheet) it is mostly understood as a visual representation of a character to understand the poses, gestures and even the personality in animation, comics, and video games.

Mutated:

Narrative: This can be explained as the plot of a story. It most often includes characters and a setting as well as a person or narrator from whose point of view the story is told. It is generally speaking a spoken or written (to later be illustrated/animated to convey this story) collection of connected events. It’s how a story is told. Who? It is told to an audience. In the beginning, the scenario is set up. Why is a narrative different from a story? The story is a subjective opinion about what’s happening, whereas the narrative is more of an objectified version of that. Jack walks up the hill; story, Jack has mental problems, narrative.

Narrative theory: Exposition -> Rising action -> Climax -> Falling action -> Denouement

Neolithic: Neo means “new”, Lithic meaning “stone”- New-Stone (stone age/new stone age; creating something new from old stone)

Objective:

Organic: When something looks organic, it’s just another way of saying “natural”. Most often, an organic shape would appear fluid and have some imperfections to its qualities. A sharply edged shape would convey something manmade like houses or other solid manmade objects.

Primary research: Interviews, looking and studying imagery, galleries, museums, exhibitions

Primitive Art: The term “Primitive Art” is a rather vague (and unavoidably ethnocentric) description which refers to the cultural artifacts of “primitive” peoples - that is, those ethnic groups deemed to have a relatively low standard of technological development by Western standards.

*This term is usually not associated with developed societies but can almost definitely be found in most cultures.

Protagonist: This is the main character or one of the major characters in a play, film, novel, etc. It is not at all unheard of that the protagonist is a heroic figure for. They make the key decisions and experience the consequences of these decisions and actions. Protagonists usually go through a journey to learn and evolve upon themselves.

Quest: A quest is a journey that someone takes, in order to achieve a goal or complete an important task. Accordingly, the term comes from the Medieval Latin “Questo”, meaning “search” or “inquire”.

Rising action: This is the moment where the plot and narrative beings picking up. Rising action is usually encouraged by a key trigger, which is what tells the reader that “now things will start to take form.” This key trigger is what rolls the dice, which then causes a series of events to escalate to then set the story into motion.

Rotoscoping: It is one of the most simple and accessible ways of animating regardless of the level of skill, aimed to create realistic sequenced movement. It is one of the simplest forms of animation and is also used universally. Rotoscoping is an animation technique that animators use to trace over filmed footage, frame by frame, to produce a realistic sequence of action and movement.

Secondary research: Book, documentaries, the internet, presentations, articles

Sequence: A sequence is a collection of something that is related to each other, put into a specific order to create motion, storytelling, feel, spark thoughts etc. It is used in animation, related to Frame by Frame.

Stop motion: Where you have a model or any animate objects and you move it a bit for each picture taken; when played back it should give the illusion of movement. The more frames per second, the more fluid the movement will become.

Storyboard: Storyboards are a sequence of drawings, often with some kind of direction and/or dialogue included within. They are often used for storytelling in film, television productions and comics/comic books.

Subconscious: In art, the use of one’s subconscious mind was inspired by the psychologist Sigmund Froyd and his many theories on dreams and the subconscious mind. To put it simply though, the noun subconscious describes a person’s thoughts, impulses, feelings, desires, etc. all of which are not within the individual’s direct control, meaning they simply just contribute and affect the conscious decisions and thoughts the person do and experience.

Turnaround: A turnaround or character turnaround is a type of visual reference that shows a character from at least three different angles. They are essential for mediums that will be showing the character from multiple different angles, such as animation and comics. Another use for these turnarounds is to make sure artists keep their character visually consistent and proportional, to pitch characters for projects and as guides for teams where a bigger group of people will be drawing the character and need to stay on model.

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