#and she made me SO miserable last year i hated school so much because of her

[muirneach]

oh my god i just got my timetable for the year i’m about to murder someone i was put into the fucking art class. if you weren’t here circa last semester the thing about me is i hate that art teacher with my entire being. good god. also inexplicably put into marketing for semester two which was not even remotely what i signed up for. oh my guidance counsellor is gonna be hearing from me for sure

[gyusrose]

➵ you’re so vain -> l.hs

⚠︎ smut (mdni)

✎ jock!heeseung x reader, enemies to ?????, heeseung is rlly annoying, hate sex ;), hair pulling, dirty talk, unprotected sex, degradation, backshots lmao. i think that’s it?

summary: attending a new school was supposed to be a fresh start for you, trying to be nice to everyone and have new friends, yet coming across lee heeseung threw all of that out the window.

(heeseung x fem.reader)

wc: 3.2k

your sweaty hands could not be gripping the steering wheel any harder. you wouldn’t call yourself “super shy” but when it comes to a whole new community of people, teenagers, hell yeah you are.

you had to move exactly at the middle of the year due to your mom’s work. they offered her double the salary at the other side of the city, who was she to say no to that? although you were going to miss your friends and the overall environment of your old home, you couldn’t just tell your mom ‘no’, either way her decisions are final.

you just got here two days ago, and to be honest, it wasn’t that bad. the worst thing so far is the fact that the nearest shopping center was 30 minutes away but you’ll live.

you didn’t except your first day of school to be so nerve-wracking. surely you’ll make some friends but who knows what people are like here. eventually, you saw the big navy blue sign with your school’s name on it. it was an averagely big school, bigger than your old one, which also meant more people.

the parking space alone was scary. it was huge yet already full even though it was still fairly early. you went around in circles around the parking lot, trying to find a vacant spot. fortunately you did at the second-to-last line.

as you tried to park, the limited space you had made it difficult to, having to back up and drive in constantly. as you reversed your car, you must have completely forgotten that you aren’t the only one there, feeling a small crash at the bumper of your car.

your eyes widened in panic. you looked back to see what you hit, and with your luck, it revealed at very nice black car, to which you’ve just hit. you tried to quickly get into your parking spot, hoping it was nothing serious, but then someone came walking up to you.

‘shit, that must be the owner’ you saw his red, rather handsome, fuming face.

you got out of your car to confront the first person interaction.

“hey look im so-“

“CANT YOU FUCKING DRIVE RIGHT? YOU HIT MY VERY EXPENSIVE CAR WITH YOUR THING, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”

oh he was an asshole. you almost scoffed in his face. who does he think he is.

“it was accident that’s all, it was barely a scratch calm down man.”

“IT WAS DEFINITELY A SCRATCH LOOK AT IT! JUST BECAUSE YOU KEEP YOUR CAR LOOKING ALL MISERABLE DOESNT MEAN I WILL, DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE?”

lord take me back. you were so close to just leaving him there arguing with himself. but you didn’t want to make him even angrier.

“look im sorry! i can pay for the fix up if that’s what you want, i dont know what else to do?”

the boy scoffed and rolled his eyes at your statement.

“you think i don’t have the money for it? please, it shows you’re a newbie around here.”

“i didn’t mean it like that-“

“yo heeseung!! come on bro!” another blonde boy called from afar, hopefully ending the argument y’all were having.

“ watch your back new girl.” with one last glare, he left to join his group of friends.

you rolled your eyes. shiver my fucking timbers, you thought.

you took a deep breath before grabbing your backpack and making your way into school , hoping to never see his face ever again.

>>

you thought that was going to be the end of it all. but oh boy were you wrong. soon you found out that heeseung is the captain of the football team, and pretty much the most popular boy in school. as cliche as it sounds, every girl would drop their panties if he asked them to.

people know he’s not the nicest person ( an asshole) yet they still look up to him. that’s angered you. how are all these people so dumb? just because he’s kinda good-looking? seriously?

over the course of a few weeks, you’ve managed to make some friends, your closest taehyun and Isa. although you tried to block the negativity, heeseung made it really hard. always giving you snarky comments when he saw you around, ridiculing you in front of other people. somehow always finding a way to run into you despite not having any classes together. except gym.

“ bro open your eyes, catch the damn ball!” he yelled from across from you.

you hated sports. even less could you play one, but you gotta do it for the grade.

“the ball was too high up dummy!” you retorted, rolling your eyes for maybe the 100th time in the class period.

if you hated gym before, you definitely hated it more now.

as the period ended, you decided to take a quick shower in the locker rooms since you couldn’t handle being all sweaty and gross throughout the day.

heeseung finished changing and was outside the locker room with his friends, chatting, waiting for the bell to ring. that’s when he may have accidentally eavesdropped the conversation between your two friends, he could barely the names of.

“where’s _____?” taehyun asked isa, noticing how you weren’t with her.

“she’s taking a shower right now, she told us to not wait for her.” Isa shrugged before taehyun nodded.

a beautiful idea popped in heeseung’s brain. it was too good.

he excused himself and sneakily waited by the girl’s locker room, waiting for everyone to come out. once he only heard the shower you were using running, he quietly entered the room. the bell had rang about a minute ago, so the gym was empty, only you and him. the gym teacher god knows where.

he saw his target and rapidly grabbed the pile of clothes sitting on the bench, a smirk evident in his face.

suddenly the shower stopped running, making heeseung hurry and exit the locker room.

the shower felt too good, you think you spent more time that you anticipated to. as you exited the shower tiles, you looked around for your clothes, which you remember clearly leaving them in the bench closest to the shower. you looked around the whole locker room, hoping you were wrong and placed them elsewhere. unfortunately, you couldn’t even find your damn socks.

your biggest fear has come true. you’re now naked, nothing but a towel covering you, this was more than just humiliating. you felt sad, mad, angry, embarrassed all at once. they’ve been stolen for sure, and you were more than sure on who did it.

grabbing your phone you called Isa, to see if she could help you somehow. and she indeed did. bringing you some spare clothes she had. thankfully, you always bring extra underwear since situations like these could happen. you just had to wait for isa for the clothes, yet the five minutes she took felt like five hours. unfortunately, passing period is over, meaning some students are coming in the locker room to change.

many of them just straight up stared at you. giving you weird looks as to why you were pretty much naked in the middle of the locker room, but none had the guts to ask you.

you wished the ground would just swallow you whole. lee heeseung won’t hear the end of it.

“LEE HEESEUNG!” you yelled across the field. he and his friends were siting down eating lunch outside when you spotted him after trying to find him after the stunt he just pulled.

heeseung knew it was coming, giggling with his friends as they heard you yell his name once again. “ oh she’s about to scold me now .” heeseung scoffed but still got up and went over to you.

“yes ma’am?” he said with a smile, you wish you could slap off but you’re better than that.

“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS?”

“i have no idea what you’re talking about..” heeseung tried acting innocent but failed as he just burst out laughing. you groaned, how on earth is that funny?

“cute panties by the way” he continued to laugh, not sparing a glance at your mad expression on your face.

“you’re such an ass, i hate your guts.” you said leaving him alone, laughing to himself.

“yo bro i think she actually got mad this time.” his friend, jake came over.

heeseung shrugged. “she’s so sensitive, it wasn’t even that bad.”

“i can’t believe he did that…” taehyun said as you told them both what had happened. Isa knew a little bit but not who did it.

“that’s fucked up, what’s he got against you so much?”

you shrugged. “i guess because i gave his car a little scratch, but i guess he took it to heart since he hasn’t stopped bothering me since. he’s a jerk.”

“finally someone who thinks the same as me!” taehyun said making you chuckle.

“then get back at him! you know the one thing that makes him who he is is that damn football.” Isa said.

you tried to be the bigger person this whole time, not paying much mind to his little remarks or pranks he pulls, biting back a little wouldn’t hurt right?

“you know what, you’re right.”

“lee heeseung, mrs. park wants to speak to you.” mr.jung said calling heeseung.

heeseung who was barely paying attention heard his name. his frowned at this. what on earth could she want to talk about with him? either way, he went to her classroom.

he entered the empty classroom to find his coach and mrs.park, waiting for him. what the fuck? heeseung was more confused now. maybe they were going to congratulate him for the good work this semester? his coach’s face said otherwise though.

“there you are, you may be wondering why you’re here..” mrs.park started. heeseung nodded, feeling uneasy.

“a student came forward, showing how you copied word for word her whole assignment, the one i assigned a week ago. i didn’t notice it at first but it’s very clear now, you may know how cheating is unacceptable in my class, i’ve decided to fail you in this assignment, plus you’ll be serving detention this whole week..” she turned to the coach.

heeseung’s heart started beating at a rapid pace, he’s never been caught cheating, and being failed on the assignment that was a big part of his grade, it means he’s most likely failing the class now. the rules for football stated that all players should be passing all of their classes if not, they’ll be dropped….

no no no, the lee heeseung can’t be dropped. he’s the captain! the star player!

“since you’re failing this class heeseung, i think you know what’s about to happe-“

“please coach! don’t kick me out, i’m the captain! what would the team do without me? i’ll get my grade up as soon as possible im-“

“calm down calm down, i’m not going to kick you out, it’s the middle of the season, but unfortunately you won’t be playing the next three games. if your grade is not up by then, then i will drop you. understood?” his coach stated earning a sharp nod by heeseung.

he’s glad he’s still on the team but what’s the point if he can’t play? he’s going to become a joke. the captain that’s a bench warmer. how stupid.

he left the classroom enraged. he knows exactly who did this.

“bro what? what do you mean you ain’t gonna play ?” riki said in disbelief at what his captain just said.

“some snitch told mrs.park that i cheated on the last assignment and coach suspended me for the next three games, and i got detention all week!” sunghoon unknowingly chuckled. heeseung looked at him with a glare.

“what? she got you good, what did you expect hee?” sunghoon kept laughing, making some of the others also laugh silently.

heeseung had nothing to say back, he just rolled his eyes. “tch, whatever.”

nevertheless, you were overjoyed seeing heeseung slouching on the bench. you couldn’t miss this once in a lifetime scenario. obviously you were the cause for it. heeseung asks Isa almost all the time for her notes or to straight up copy her. she willingly let you rat him out after what he did to you.

he can sense how all eyes were on him, but he just tried to block everyone out a focus on the game. he had a poker face on, but deep inside he was irritated . he saw how you were smirking and laughing with your two little friends. you knew what you were doing.

>>

“ahh look who it is, the benchwarmer! “ you said chuckling as you made your way to heeseung.

after the team (barely) won, jake threw an ‘after party’ at his house. even though you don’t normally go to these parties, especially from those boys, you felt like a party would do good with your marvellous mood. something about seeing heeseung’s frowny face made feel over the moon.

“seems like cat got your tongue now huh? dont have anything to say-“

in a blink of an eye you were pulled into a room, heeseung’s fingers wrapped around your neck, pulling your face closer to his.

“what the fuck? heeseung-“

“shut the fuck up.” his hoarse voice caught you off guard. he was actually really mad.

“you think what you did it’s fucking funny? huh? almost getting me kicked out ? “ you’ve never seen him this enraged before. making you almost scared, yet….kinda turned on? no, you hate him, snap out of it! you told yourself yet the wetness in between your legs became hard to ignore.

you didn’t respond. “fuck, you’re so annoying, i can’t fucking stand you. i hate you.” he saw lowly. fuck that was hot.

you spoke before thinking. “then show me.”

not needing to tell him twice, heeseung pulled you completely in. your lips met in a kiss that was anything but gentle, a fierce and consuming clash that spoke longing and raw need.

The kiss deepened, fueled by an unspoken urgency, their mouths exploring each other with a fervor that left y’all breathless. his grip on your neck becoming tighter.

“shit im gonna show you to fucking behave.” he said before pushing you into the bed forcefully. you may have discovered a new kink of yours. watching as he undressed himself and yourself rapidly. feeling his anger through every touch he gave you.

he rubbed through your folds before inserting two fingers aggressively. your body jolted at the sudden move.

“holy shit go softer dumbass.”

“aw you think i give a fuck? suck it up and take it since you think you’re all that.” his fingers pumped faster and faster making it hard for you to answer back to his stupid remarks.

“oh my god..” you tried to pull his hand away before you cum. not wanting to see you orgasm so easily yet.

“just fuck me already heeseung, or is your dick as tiny as your brain?”

heeseung looked darkly at you. that stupid mouth of yours can’t shut up will it?

he retracted his fingers put of you and took his boxers off. wanting nothing more than to prove you wrong.

shit. your eyes went wide at what stood in front of you. saying he was big was an understatement. it was like a zipper for your mouth. how was that thing going to fit inside of you?

“can’t say anything now, can you slut?” he pulled your legs down the mattress to have you at the perfect angle to ram into you.

heeseung ran his til over your folds, teasing his way in. making you aggrevated.

“just put it in for fucks sake!”

“tell me how bad you want it.” you shook your head, no way were you going to beg. no way.

“alright then, i guess im gonna go.” he said letting go of your waist, acting as if he was going to leave.

“okay okay! please fuck me, i want it so bad, i want your big cock so bad heeseung.” heeseung moaned at your words. he didn’t wait any longer and thrusted all of him in you.

you both moaned yet it was more painful for you. you’ve never had something so big inside you before.

“fuck yeah..” he said then grabbing your neck, slightly choking you. your hands went to his biceps, trying to find something to hold on to as the speed he was thrusting in became more hostile.

“fuck me harder, like the asshole you are.” you said in between breaths. heeseung took the challenge and thrusted violently. the skin slapping and wetness of your core could probably be heard in the party outside.

“of course a whore like you would like to be fucked like this.”

before you could respond he pulled out of you earning a desperate groan from you, but then your were flipped, now on all fours and before you knew it he was back in you again. gripping your hip with one hand while he pulled your hair on the other.

“such a tight pussy, you probably fantasized about this am i right?” he said in your ear. you shook your head through your moan.

“in your dreams lee, in your fucking dreams. fuck you.”

“i’m quite literally doing that.” chuckling, he let go of your hair and instead gripped your other hip, going in deeper, nudging your cervix literally driving you to an edge.

“fuck i’m cumming.” you cried out. never has an orgasm felt like this. heeseung was on edge as well, feeling you clench around his dick did it for him.

your climax rose over you, making you fall into the pillow while heeseung kept thrusting until his own organs came over him, pulling out and releasing his white ropes all over your back.

tiredly, he laid besides you in the strangers bed, not knowing what to say now.

you turned to him, smirking. “i think i may hate you even more now.”

[euphoricimagination]

Bad Habits

Feat. Aoba Johsai

When you joined the team on your second year, after Iwaizumi had asked you for help to deal with the new first year, everything started normally, you didn’t have any problems whatsoever and got along with everyone amazingly good. But it was by the end of the year that you started to fall into your more unhealthy habits. Habits that had appeared since you entered high school, but that became stronger now that you had to care for the team too

You knew it was due stress, the end of the year was always full of things and you were terrible at managing it properly. You had started to stay up until much later, studying or working on project until way too late, barely sleeping 3 hours at max; because of that, you started to feel incredibly tired through the day, leading you into buying energy drinks often to keep you awake, on your worst days you could easily chug down 4 a day with no issues; also because of your lack of sleep, your eye bags started to become more noticeable, not even concealer being able to cover them properly; and worst of all, because of the stress, you occasionally ended up smoking, and while not an often thing, you still do it

You were able to hide it from the team for a while, but the more the end of the year comes closer, the more noticeable it became.

The first one that notice was Oikawa, who could smell the smoke in your clothes in one of his hugs, but he shrugged it off since he thought it was from one of your friends that was known for smoking. Then Iwaizumi noticed the energy drinks, especially when in one day he saw you drink it at lunch, then before starting practice and then buying two more after you part ways; but again, he shrugged it off since sometimes he has rough days too. Then Kindaichi found you sleeping in a weird position on your classroom, surprised you could even sleep like that

It wasn’t until Kunimi said something on the changing room that they started to connect things together

“Did you guys knew that Yn-san smokes?” he asks

“Yn-chan? She doesn’t, her friend does though, that’s why she smells like that sometimes” Oikawa answers

“No, no, I saw her outside with a cigarette and a energy drink…she honestly looked miserable” Kunimi adds

“Energy drink? Again? She had one at lunch” Hanamaki adds

“yeah, and she arrived with one in the morning” Matsukawa says now. They stayed silent for a few seconds, everyone thinking

“That idiot” Iwaizumi sighs “she’s stressed”

“eh? How do you know?”

“Last year I saw her smoking, I scolded her and made her promise to tell me if she needed help or anything. I hadn’t thought that she fell back on it, I should have realized when I saw her with those energy drinks” Iwaizumi sighs again, looking disappointed

“Well, she does drink them from time to time, but now she seems to be abusing it. Don’t beat yourself up for it, man” Matsukawa says as they go out the room, you were already standing there, looking at the clipboard attentively. Iwaizumi walks towards you and yanks you away from the coaches, the whole team in front of you

“So, Yn-chan, something to tell us?” oikawa looks at you, his hands on his hips

“Ehhh…nope, not really” you say confused

“I see. You know, health is the most important thing, you always tell me to not overwork myself”

“what shittykawa wants to say is, we know about your…unhealthy habits, are you stressed out? Why didn’t you tell me? Tell us?” Iwaizumi asks you

“I…I didn’t want to trouble you, that’s all”

“idiot” Iwaizumi flicks your forehead “Stop smoking, Yn-chan, and sleep more, you look terrible”

“you can drink some energy drinks here and there, but don’t abuse it” Oikawa adds

“I hate that this is coming from you out of everyone” you say, making him squint his eyes

“We love you, so take care of you just like you take care of us” Matsukawa says, all of the team hugging you tightly.

[acuteobserv4tion]

Hear me out:

Zoe shouldn't exist. They should have given the Bee Miraculous to Rose or Aurore. Perfect patch up. No need for a last-minute self insert character.

It's the bad fanfic writing that gets me guys.

I hear Zoe is finally becoming her own character, tho. Good for her. Good for you, Zoe stans. Just wish she wasn't a last-minute insert made out of spite.

But if you really want Zoe to be a thing...

I wish she was introduced in like the end of season 2 right after Queen Wasp. Cut out that scene where Marinette reunites someone with their toxic family member.

Zoe shows up after Malediktator, giving Chloe more reason to feel unloved, stopping Chloe's kindness in its tracks, leaving her hurt and in pain, her desperation for attention made more clear, highlighting her Descent into Madness.

Zoe could actually genuinely try to connect with her in season 3 because Zoe at least has her own dad in America who raised her right, unlike Andre. Then show us a confused Chloe who rages out and hates Zoe for seemingly taking mom away from her all these years.

Little does she know that Audrey doesn't really care about either of them.

This is how we get Miracle Queen. Chloe actively asking for Hawkmoth to make her "exceptional" for her mom since Ladybug seems to have abandoned her, too. (Marinette notices her being difficult instead of Marinette just being jealous of Kagami like in canon) Audrey, of course, after being de-akumatized, looks the other way.

Then, in season 4, we have Lila manipulate Chloe like in Miraculer, only different. Chloe would be the one Gabriel assigned to look out for Adrien at school while he assigns Lila to "look out for him" during modeling.

Lila manipulates Chloe out of the way, which Gabriel knew Lila would do. Chloe, meanwhile, is losing Adrien in her grief and rage. Sabrina is losing Chloe to the stress of Lila's schemes to get Chloe alone and vulnerable through rumors, which isn't hard because of Chloe's past bullying. (What's that? Believable manipulation?)

But Zoe is still there, and she sees, so Sabrina goes to her. But when they confront her, Chloe sees it as a betrayal. She thinks she's lost Sabrina to Zoe like she lost her mom. So she curses them both. And who does she have left other than Uncle Gabriel.

Chloe has become a proper pawn in Lila and Gabriel's game. A sad, miserable, vindictive little pawn.

A solid tragic character. Chloe the Sympathetic Villain. (Unlike Gabriel, who we all seem to agree is a stupid asshat). Now, what will become of her?

Isn't that so much better?

[rocksandmirrors]

this is something i wrote a couple weeks ago based on the second art of this post i've made, but i didn't feel like posting it on ao3. hope you enjoy!! the wonderful @sapphic--kiwi inspired me to write this, make sure to check out her blog as well <3 she's a very talented artist and writer

also watch out for body issues and internalized fatphobia

Matt couldn’t stand to see his reflection anymore.

He should have seen it coming, though; with all the work he had been doing for the last years, and being able to eat his fill every day, it was obvious he would gain weight. Yet, now that he stared at himself in the mirror, all he could see was the extra pounds that didn’t have to be there. He knew this was silly, but an immature part of him hoped he could have looked like these constructionist witches in the shows he watched, attractive and shaped like a V.

Grimacing, he pinched a bulge on his stomach and let out a groan. He hated looking like this, especially when he was so skinny just a couple years ago. Maybe he could skip breakfast, just for today. He wasn’t that hungry anyway.

Shaking his head to try and think about something else, Matt reached out to the cabinet above the sink until he saw Augustus’ reflection in the mirror, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. He froze as they locked eyes, and he prayed he hadn’t seen too much of him wallowing in his misery.

“Hey,” he mumbled, finally opening the cabinet to grab his hairbrush. “Sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Nah.” Matt heard footsteps behind him, and a few seconds later, felt a pair of arms around his waist, as well Augustus’ warmth against his back, and his chin on his shoulder. “You’re up earlier than usual.”

“Eh, I just woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep. Figured I could get prepared for work, at least.”

Augustus’ hands wandered around his stomach and hips- areas of his body that he hated more than anything- and he repressed the urge to push them away. Instead, he started brushing his hair, slowly, untying all the knots one by one. He had two hours left before leaving, might as well take his time.

“Matty, are you okay?” he asked, slumber still staining his voice.

“M’yeah. Sort of.” When he met Augustus’ eyes again through the mirror, he sighed. “No, not really.”

“I know. I saw you.”

Yeah, he figured as much. His fiance had that talent for always being at the wrong place, at the wrong time. He put his hairbrush down next to the sink, still staring at their reflections.

“Of course you saw me. There’s nothing else to see about me but… this,” he added, disgust dripping in his tone.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

“Like what? Like I became fucking ugly? Someone here has to, because you sure as hell aren’t doing it.”

Matt was getting worked up over pretty much nothing and arguing with a brick wall; he knew that, yet couldn’t help it. Just thinking about the way his body had changed over the last years made him feel miserable and fall back into his old self-deprecating ways, aggressive towards someone who didn’t ask for it.

“You’re not ugly,” Augustus argued, leaving a peck on his jaw. “You’ve never been.”

“Augustus, you don’t need to rub me up the right way. I know I’ve changed, I mean- you’ve seen me at seventeen, look at me now! I was in much better shape back then!”

“Were you?”

“Do you really need me to make an illusion of my old self to compare?” He asked, arching an eyebrow.

Augustus shook his head, his hands still rubbing the parts of his body he hated the most. Matt just wanted this conversation to end, to go on about his day and shove that brief moment of vulnerability into a corner of his mind so he could forget about it. As much as he hated his current appearance, he never intended for his lover to listen to him vent about his body issues first thing in the morning.

“Matt, you had nothing to eat as a teen, of course you were skinnier. Hell, I’ve seen you digging through trash at school just to have lunch.”

“Yeah, but-”

“You’ve grown up. You’re doing a lot more physical work, and like it or not, you can’t keep your teen body all your life.” One of Augustus’ hands moved up to his torso. “If you really want to lose weight someday, I’ll support you, but I want you to know I also love how you look right now, because you’re just as healthy and handsome. Frankly, I’m happy to see you like this.”

Matt’s breath got stuck in his throat, and his eyes widened at these words. He knew Augustus tended to be clingier than usual whenever he lacked some sleep, but he still needed to get used to all the praise that came with it.

“I don’t really see it,” he admitted with a shrug.

“That’s okay. I don’t expect you to get over this right away.” The younger witch left another kiss, this time at the nape of his neck, and a shiver ran down his spine. “But trust me, if you could see yourself the way I see you, you’d marry yourself in a heartbeat.”

Matt could feel- and see- all the blood rushing to his face, and suddenly, the warm hands wandering on his body didn’t bother him as much- they felt loving, tender, worshiping every part of the body he still struggled to accept as it was. He leaned into Augustus, still standing behind him, and the arms around him wrapped themselves tighter.

“Are you feeling any better?” He asked.

“I… Yeah, actually. Thanks, babe.”

“No problem.” Augustus left one last peck on the shell of his ear before stepping back, and Matt immediately missed his warmth. “Since we’re both awake, I’m gonna make some coffee. Do you want some?”

“You know it.” Matt turned around to face him, offering him a tired smile. “Let me make you breakfast, yeah?”

“Don't worry, I’m not touching any pans in this kitchen,” he yawned as he left the bathroom.

Matt watched his fiance walk away, then turned back to his reflection. Half of his hair had been brushed, the bags under his eyes were a little more prominent than usual, contrasting with his crimson face, and his shirt was a little crinkled from where Augustus had been touching him. He pinched a bulge on his stomach again, poking at the fat here and there with a faint smile.

Maybe he could indulge in breakfast today.

[izbelross]

Warm feelings

A/N: Welcome back to a new fic based on my incapacity to stay away from obsessions. This new round we all need to thank @saddykar for chutarse an entire friday and weekend tolerating my cries for Eddie. So, here is the ending result of almost six litters of Coca cola, four bags of popcorn and many many others types of chunk food, a bunch of fics I'll be posting with the long part of this week and perhaps the next.

P.D.: this fic is shorter, as well the others will be, but I love them just as much... this fics are my beibis.

Pairings: Steve Harrington x reader.

Warnings: angst (for a while, relax) / fluff / kinda strong language / more fluff.

Synopsis: A year after closing the second portal to the Upsidedown, you find yourself in the limbo, trying to get over the nightmares, going through your last year at school, having to choose what path you'll like to take and between all of that, probably the most complicated part, were the feelings for your friend Steve. And the cherry on top? He was most probably still hung up with Nancy.

////////7u7////////

As we already know, Hawkins is a hunted city, everyone could fall for the quietness at arriving but from then on the days only become longer, weirder and colder. But for you, disappearances, strange noises and red lights coming from nowhere at the darkest of night were pretty common occurrences.

You didn't just survived the majority of the last couple years by pure luck... well, yes, mostly, but because it was like a tradition to be a weirdo in WeirdLand too.

Honestly, the curious part of it all was the fact that you made friends along the way. Now you were part of "The Gang", the secret heroes of Hawkins. Quite amused, quite depressed and with some troubles that every teenager went through plus the knowledge that the unreal isn't as much as you all wanted it to be.

After all the "almost to death" bunch of experiences you've had, the year is coming to an end, you're to decide where you want to study and suddenly the need for money is there at every step, no matter if it is for your own amusement or because you'll be needing it to exist.

That's why you thanked whatever powerful being there is for the existence of Robin and Steve who helped you get into Family Videos and, that was not the best part, it was actually the extra amount of time you got to spend with Steve, your ehm, friend, best friend... the closest like- like the one who you loved and liked and who you didn't totally have a crush on.

And who you totally didn't cry at night to because even if you loved him and wanted to spend the rest of your miserable, imperfect and beautiful life with him, Steve was still hung up on Nancy, who just didn't happen to be probably the only girl he has loved but she was your friend as well.

Your relationship with Steve didn't bloom from day to night, oh no, no, no. You used to hate each other. Him being the rich popular kid at school and you the one who didn't give a single fuck what everyone else thought about you, not wanting to impress, not wanting to fit. So, it was kinda intense when you both got into trouble because one of his fake friends would try to prank you and he tried to help them or because you were each others headaches at class.

At the end, when you helped the kids with their weird friend and had to work with them, as well as the princess of school, you saw him change into a more mature person. You had a change too, don't get me wrong.

Going from the private suffocated being to at least being able to form long conversations, no matter how much they bored you. And trust, much more trust to your friends was thrown their way. Yep, this last year had being something that changed you.

"You should take another path y'know?" Told you Robin, while she unpacked the new VHS and you priced them. "Like... I don't know, Hawkins? For life? For adulthood? Yeah, nu huh, thank you but, I rather swallow a bunch of dicks before staying stuck here... I mean, look at us, this isn't the way we should be spending our youth, our golden years,"

Steve send you an amused look from behind the counter, doing his own task. Your heart didn't went on a running spree like every-time he took notice of you, nah, it actually did a double mortal with a steady fall, 10/10, normal, yep. "Aren't the golden days supposed to be when we're old?" He asked.

"Think we probably are old already," you sighed, getting up from the floor, where you sat two hours straight with Robin, your back making a popping sound that made both your friends chuckle. "Yep, old." Murmured Robin.

"C'mon girls! We still have a lot of years ahead!" You chanced a glance to the tired girl on the floor. "Yeah, let's see... where do you see yourselves from a few years on?"

Both Robin and you groaned, she going back to her duties at taking vhs out the box while you got closer to the counter where Steve was, in search of more stickers for the prices. He reclined on the table, a few inches away from your face. "C'mon darling" you ignored the way your body heated, "I imagine myself in a nice house, not too big, not too small. A good job, maybe one or two kids-"

"More than you already have?" "And- " Steve completely ignored Robin, you didn't dare look at him when he started to talk again, you already knew what he was going to say next. This wasn't the first time he has told you about what he wishes to have when older. "And the woman I love beside me."

Robin was about to start talking again but stoped herself when she looked at Steve, and then you and then again at Steve. "Shit", she thought. Standing as fast as she could she brought the box with her and started walking to the back of the store "I finished this box, I'll go for more! Keep doing your tasks children!" Robin smiled at Steve that sent her a grateful smile, you however looked at her like two tentacles had suddenly sprung from her retreating back.

"The fuck, Robin, there are still like two dozens of-" "I said I'll be back!" She interrupted you, and the last hanging sound was the door being shut.

"Well... if she isn't acting weird then I don't-" you didn't finish your sentence because of the sudden look Steve had, directed straight at your eyes. His brown eyes were heavy with an emotion you have never seen in him, not directed at you at least. "Are you- eh-" you cleared your throat, the computer at his side suddenly a quite interesting machine "you okay?"

Steve didn't answer, instead asked you the same question from moments before, "Where do you see yourself in the future, (y/n)?" He inclined his head, hair falling softly and your heart started a race for winning a price, you didn't know what but it surely was important, your being got stuck in there, the spot where Steve's eyes where roaming your face, warm eyes, soft smile waiting and big hands taking yours, caressing them. You cleared your throat again. "Can-" Steve licked his lips, "Can you look at me, (y/n)?"

Slowly, so slowly, your gaze moved to his face, looking at his lips, and nose, going straight to his eyebrows and then his hair, his stupid perfectly un-combed hair. And finally, finally, your eyes found his and in an instant your cheeks turned red.

Steve's smile widened and his hands tightened yours a little more, assuring himself, and you.

"I'll tell you more about the future I want." His body moved a bit closer, his eyes jumping from both of yours, to your lips and nose and back to your eyes. "I see, this home, warm, maybe a dog or a cat, I don't care. A little garden, three rooms. Two of them for the kids and," his nose brushed yours, and you giggled. Steve's eyes crinkling with the sound, "the last room, sweetheart... Our room." The next thing you know, his lips were in yours, a soft gasping moan coming from you and the sudden pull from one of his hands on your face grounding you from floating away.

Silk lips brushing yours at first, testing if you were okay with this, with Steve Harrington pushing your head to his from the neck, moaning in your mouth and kissing you harder. His lips parting and his tongue darting out. He let out a long pleasured moan when your own tongue touched his.

So, so much for being just a dream. It was enough for you to lock your hand in his, the other finding way on his cheek. Both of you let out muffled giggles that broke the long deep contact but didn't stop you from pecking his lips. "What do you think, hmm?"

Steve didn't let you get as far, his forehead pressed against yours, breathing heavily and leaving small kisses every few seconds on your smiling lips. "I would definitely like a cat." He laughed at that, eyes closing with the force of his happiness. Getting impatient with the fucking counter between you, he jumped over it and dragged you to his body. Arms enveloping you and not letting you move too far, only for his mouth to find yours again. Kissing you deeply.

Now you did let yourself fall on his embrace, moving your arms one around his neck and the other to his back, obliging him to incline his tall frame on you.

Minutes went past, with you against the counter while Steve kissed you, all tongue and teeth, and small giggles, tired laughs. His lips brushing against your jaw, leaving the tingle sensation of love that only the love of your life could mark on you. You stroked his hair and pulled when his lips found in your neck that spot that made you moan near his ear. Steve only letting out a raspy chuckle.

With your body inclining more to his, who started to push you more against the counter, your back arching with the edge pressing to your middle back. Time passed, floating endlessly around you two.

A muffled "Hey... guys?" Was barely heard from behind the backdoor. Between Steve's hands squeezing your hips here and there you didn't hear Robin until her fist slamming against the door made you both jump. "Not me being a bad friend, cutting your moment, which I really hope you are having because I'm tired of both of you whining about the other, but I think I might have, kinda "kinda" locked myself in here..."

You shared a look with Steve, smiles coming into laughs, one of his arms still on your waist, two pair of running hearts and red cheeks. "Could you be so kind to get me out? It's kinda getting hard to breath, I'm not really fond of small spaces, y'know? Yeah, you know... I mean-"

"Coming!" You said and before you walked to open the door, your hand was hanging onto Steve's neck, your lips kissing his. As if something normal between you. It lasted a few seconds but it was enough to leave him breathless when you pulled away, murmuring softly to him, "I love you too, Steve." Proud of the idiot smile you left on his face, you went to open the door.

Turns out you were absolutely wrong, and you have never been more happy about it.

[invisibleraven]

"Not sure if the banner was already obvious enough, but I would like to ask you to be my date." for Willie/anyone, because chaos

Willie could credit himself at being pretty good when it came to reading people. Case in point, when the end of the school year grew closer and closer, and Alex started getting grumpy and fidgety, Willie knew something was up.

More than this is exam jitters-because Alex's school related anxieties just had him pop an extra Ativan by now. Not a worry about the future, as the band was signed for a three album deal, and were set to do a mini California tour come the summer before they did their first album.

No, his mood took a definite change when the posters for the prom started popping up.

Willie had no real wish to go to prom. Sure, he liked dances just as much as the next gay guy, and with Alex as his boyfriend, they could cut a rug with the best of them. But it was such a stupid, heteronormative tradition, and Willie was definitely counter culture. Sure, the school was 100% okay with queer couples going-heck they were even letting Julie bring both her boyfriends as her dates, which made Reggie beam with giddy joy, and even though Luke rolled his eyes, Willie knew he was super excited as well.

But he wasn't sure how Alex felt. So he poked at Reggie for some insight.

"Dude, what do you mean?" Reggie asked. "Alex has been dreaming about dancing at his prom with his boyfriend since he first saw Pretty In Pink. And The Prom. And the third High School Musical movie, even though he bitched about them making the choreographer character straight."

"That was super stupid," Willie admitted. "So you think he want me to ask him?" Reggie shot him a look at that. "Okay, stupid question. You don't think he wants some big promposal right?"

"Have you met Alex?" Reggie asked. "No, he'd die. But maybe... make an effort and do something special, just for you."

That Willie could do. Sure, prom was stupid, dumb, and lame. But Willie could do a night of stupid, dumb, and lame for Alex. Especially to fulfill a dream he thought he'd never get. His parents had crushed so many of Alex's hopes, so the last Willie could do was give him a magical night he had been told over and over again he never would.

But how to ask?

Well, amongst Willie's numerous talents, he was pretty decent at art. So grabbing a ton of paper, his beloved spray cans, and an unoccupied Molina family garage (thanks to Julie clearing it out once she heard his plan) he got to work.

It was a couple hours later that Alex showed up. "Okay, I'm here, Reggie said I had to come out here because you needed me. Even though we both agreed to no make outs in the studio after last time."

Willie snickered as he greeted Alex at the door. "I know hot dog. Just-look."

Alex looked up and saw a bright pink banner there, covered in glitter and in Willie's messy cursive and blocks of rainbow colour, was one word; Prom?

Alex turned to Willie who gave him a mega-watt smile. "Not sure if the banner was already obvious enough, but I would like to ask you to be my date."

"But you hate stuff like prom!" Alex said.

Willie shrugged. "But you love it, and Reggie told me you've been dreaming of prom since you saw Pretty in Pink."

"Fucking Reginald," Alex grumbled.

Willie guided Alex's face to his. "Hey, no. He was being a good bro, and wanted to make sure your dream came true. So what do you say? You wanna go to prom with me?"

"No."

"No?" Willie asked, confused and a little heartbroken.

"No," Alex repeated, shaking his head. "You'd be miserable the whole time, and then I wouldn't have fun. So I'd rather stay in, watch movies. We can put on some music and dance around the living room at your house, have our own prom."

"But your dreams..."

"You're more important," Alex replied with a shrug.

"That's why I asked you!" Willie said, laughing. "Because you getting this one thing you never thought you'd get was more important to me than me hating this shit!"

They both started laughing at that, collapsing onto the couch, holding one another. Finally, wiping their eyes, Willie looked at Alex. "I kind of want to go now, just to prove you wrong, that I'd have fun."

"Really?" Alex asked.

"Just for like, a few dances, sure," Willie relented. "Unless you'd rather stay in."

"Uh uh, you said we're going, no backsies," Alex replied, kissing his nose.

"Figures," Willie said, but he was smiling. Sure, prom was never going to rank high on his list of activities he was looking forward to-but Alex's smile made it all worth it.

Plus, Willie admitted on prom night, as they swayed across the floor, Alex looked damn good in his pink tux.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1171: The Diary of Beartrap (Epithet Erased)

Dear Diary,

It's been a while, hasn't it?~ I'm sorry it took too long for me to write to you. Quite a lot has happened to me as of late: Some hectic, some exciting, a few rough patches and there, but I promise you there's a lot good after that. In fact, my life has gotten a lot better since it ever been, but I'm getting way ahead of myself already, so let's get started , shall we?

To get the bad and obvious out of the way, my relationship with my family hasn't improved at all unfortunately. Lorelai's still as lazy and self-centered ever while always constantly butting heads with me every chabce she gets, dad-no, Martin, is too investing in his own little world to even care about anything anymore, and I always had to spend the last few years of my life, watching over the toy store and keep it up float while cleaning up THEIR messes on a daily basis! And yeah, I HATE every second of it and EVERYDAY!!

.....But it couldn't be helped. The day mother left has been really rough for all of us since then, so it's not too hard to understand why our relationship became so....distant, hollow, dysfunctional and so.....messy. I should've realized sooner that things would turn out the way it did and be more prepared, but even then, I doubt it would've been any less stressful and draining than it was now and after everything Lorei put me and my friends through in her fantasy world of hers that night, I decided enough was enough and leave everything behind me: the toy store, the people I used to call my family, and.....my previous life up to this point..........

And I'm happy I made that choice, because like I said, my life really turned around for a whole lot better since then. I'm doing a lot better in school, I get to spend more time with my friends stressed-free, I even did a few other things I've never thought i would ever get to do in whole life: like being a part of school plays, attend football amd basketball games, and making these suuuuuper yummy cinnamon apple raisins waffle in cute cub head shapes~

To tell you truth, I don't think any of this would be even remotely be possible if it weren't for the two people who are working their butts off into looking after me as of late: Crusher, the biggest teddy bear of a sweetheart I have ever met (Which is pretty ironic considering he actually went as a teddy bear for Halloween last year. So freaking adorable!~ i should really remember to him again when he and the others come back), and my one and only boss: Giovanni Potage.

I honestly don't think I have the proper words to express how much he means to me or even how thankful I truly am for everything heaven done for me so far. He taught me how to be more confident in myself and become more assertive, he goes out of his way and beyond to try to help me with stuff in general, and he even went out of his way to take me our of my miserable home life and does his very best to look after me to this very. He sees a lot more value and importance in me than I even realized I have any myself. He did all of this is.....because he cares about me. Because he loves me. And......I love him too. So much that.....I wanna do whatever I can to help him out: with our new villain group, any of his newer evil schemes, and everything else in general. It's the least I can do for everything he have done for me thus far.

To this day, I still don't think I have a clue as to what the future will have in store for me or what to expect going forward, but I won't let it scare me off that easily. I won't let my past life take a hold of me any longer. I am going to live rest of my life to the fullest by my own accord and with the people I truly love and cherish. And if anyone has a problem with that, they can go screw themselves right off to the blazing sun, cause I'm not stopping one bit!

Giovanni: (In the Other Room) Ohh Beeartraaaaap!~ Dinner's finally ready!~

Crusher: And we finally return with SNACKS!

Spike: Annnnd a good amount of decent quality movies we can all watch!~ None of which were chosen by Ben thank God!

Ben: Dude, seriously!?

Car Crash: Hey, we're not the ones who brought tickets to that knock off Ice Age movie that one time, didn't we?

Ben: ('Let's Out a Frustrated Scream')

Molly: (Giggles Softly) Coming! (Finishes Up Writing on her Diary)

Okay, as much as I would love to stay and wrote, I gotta go now. We're having lasagna and a whole movie night tonight. They said they'll be a lot a movie to watch through this time around, so fingers crossed for at least a few of them to be decent. But until then, I'll try and write to you more often. It is one of my many New Years Resolutions after all, might as well make the most out of them.

Love,

Molly Blyndeff A.K.A. Beartrap

@aprilbrowines

[nirvanawrites111]

My Only One (Seonghwa x Reader)

Y/N and Seonghwa fell in love, but he didn't complete his mission, and now he must return to the Underworld. So, this is the last time.

Pairing: Seonghwa x Black Reader

Word Count: 2041

Tw: Unprotected sex, she/her pronouns, paranormal, sad vibes, strong language, smut,  you're in love with a demon., oral (fem rec)

Y/N

"You'll always be my only love," Seonghwa whispers, cradling your body close to his. You try and fail miserably to fight back the

tears approaching their downfall. 

Your mind swirls over the thought of how lucky you are to experience this, but your chest also aches at the thought of how so damn unfortunate you are. 

Your round, glossy eyes follow up to his face and stop once you stare into his. You notice his usual red orbs are now icy cold blue. The pain he must feel about leaving you like this. He's also not this quiet.

Seonghwa leans forward, presses his hand against your lower back, and sweetly hums along to your favorite song that you have on a 1-hour loop slowed and reverb. 

90 days.

That's how long it's been since he stepped into your life. Every day you found yourself finding out about him in your diary, something you used to do during your freshman year of high school. Still, it was a familiar habit you picked back up. 

This outer world connection you have is sometimes too hard to put into words. But, regardless, it's the end of it. 

Your body sways with his as if you are one. Your feet follow his along the open space of your bedroom. 

Usually, he creeps into your bedroom window in his black attire, and sleeps next to you. He never told you what he encountered before entering your space. It didn't matter to you, because you know it's not your place to judge. You just enjoyed being able to fall asleep in his arms. 

So, tonight his crisp white button-up and blues seem odd to him. He still looks handsome to you. He could have come here in a paper bag, and you still would think he's the finest man you've ever seen. 

Seonghwa faces you again, and although his blue eyes are riddled with sadness, his charming smile makes you mirror him. If only this beautiful moment between you could last for an eternity. 

If somehow you had the power to turn back the hands of time. If

only you knew from the beginning that his time on Earth was limited.

But would that have made a difference? Would you have done

anything differently?

"Why do you have to be so perfect for me?" You ask. 

It wasn't a real question, but more of a rhetoric one that swims

around in your mind every night since he stepped into your life.

"I was literally thinking the same about you. I hate this so

much," he groans. He sounds like he wants to say more, but he doesn't, and there is an awkward silence between you two. 

"I know. I don't understand why I can't go with you. There is nothing left here for me," you whine. 

You don't mean to come off bratty, but it's your honest feelings. Your life before you met him could have been better. No one understood you, so making friends has always been a struggle. Let alone to even venture into a relationship. 

"The underworld is not a place for someone as sweet as you. You're way too innocent and too precious for a place like that," Seonghwa smiles.

Seonghwa holds your chin up to his and places a gentle kiss against your full lips. You embrace him further and deepen the kiss. Your center aches for him. 

Your heart leaps, and it's enough to nearly take your breath away. You love how he always gives you what you need right when you need it. Almost like he can read your body language and mind so well.   

"I don't care. Take me with you, Seonghwa," You groan lowly. Your eyes are wide and you are waiting for him to agree to your outlandish request. 

You have already cried so much since you found out he had to leave you. At this point, you don't have any more tears to release. 

"Angel, you know that's not possible. Also, we shouldn't waste any more time talking about the complexities of my existence. I want to remember the happy version of you. The one that giggles and get shy and covers their mouth when I give a compliment."

"You're right. I'm sorry, Hwa," you coo affectionally.

You try your best to force a smile. "I'm ruining the mood," you try

to pull away. But, Seonghwa holds you even tighter. 

"Don't leave, Angel. Stay in my arms for now," Seonghwa replies.

"I will," your smile softens. This feel different, and you feel calmness take over your body. Who would have thought someone deemed

evil could make you so happy?

You were so grateful for your final moments with him to be just

the two of you. He spoils you with so much love that you don't want to share

him with anyone.

"See, there's that beautiful smile. I love the way all your

teeth show when you smile. I wish I could keep a photo of you."

"Why are you cheesy?" A giggle erupts from your lips,

and you playfully hit his shoulder.

"Cheesy?" His left eyebrow raises, and he swiftly picks

you up. Your arms and body are moving, but you know he won't drop you.

"Yes, very," you say, almost in a scream.

Seonghwa slams you down on the bed and proceeds to tickle you. More

cute giggles erupt from your lips and turn into a scream. You beg him to

stop.

"Okay.. okay... Hwa, I'm sorry! Please! Ple— Please..."

you say, as his touch makes you jump and squirm over your bed.

"That's what I thought." 

Seonghwa towers over your body, and his sly smirk drives you wild. 

"Thank you," you say, in such relief. Before you can

say another word, Seonghwa grabs your hands and places them above your head.

You look above you at your hands, and your eyes trail back to

Seonghwa. This time the beautiful creature had that familiar look on his face.

His lips are slightly apart, and he slowly licks his bottom lip.

"I love you."

His words sound like a soft melody that you crave to hear. Deep down in your heart, you know that despite being a creature from the underworld, he is capable of loving you.

Who else would care about you in this way? Seonghwa loved you

before he even knew you. He studied you from afar and came into your life at a

time when you felt so hopeless.

"I love you, too."

"May I make love to you for the last time?" Seonghwa

whispered.

You glance over at the window and see the rain gently brushing

against the glass. You didn't check the weather app on your phone, but it

didn't matter. You will be alone in your room with Seonghwa for the

next couple of hours.

"Yes. You may."

Seonghwa jumps back off the bed to remove his clothes. He loves

feeling his skin against yours during intimate moments.

Before you could say anything else, he reached at the sides of

your hip to pull down your leggings. Your mind thinks back to the many times

when he had you in crazy positions that always made you reach your climax.

But, this time. It would be more intimate.

"You know that no one else has ever made me this nice. You've

changed me for the better, Y/N," Seonghwa covers presses his body against

yours and kisses down your chest and leads a trail of kisses down to your

stomach.

"I'm sure. I have." 

His lips against your skin feel so sensitive that every kiss he plants makes your body rise and fall. You feel so upset that you can't be with him anymore.

"Stop overthinking, bae. Just enjoy this pleasure," Seonghwa

tosses your legs over his shoulders. He pulls your body closer to his face. As

soon as you feel his tongue against your sensitive folds, your back

automatically arches. You had received head before from someone else, and it

didn't feel like anything.

But even with very little foreplay, you are ready for him. Your body

is too in-sync with his. His tongue explores his familiar territory. Yes, you

called it his because he earned that right. No one can do what he does and

handle you in such a loving and sensual way.

Your hands grip the back of his head while he writes out his last

name and first name against your flesh. No one could compete with his tongue

game.

You weren't even interested in finding out if they could because

everyone else before him was trash. To the point where you thought you were

broken when receiving oral satisfaction.

"Seonghwa, please," a moan casually slips from your mouth. Your body

dances along to the lyrics of his song. Every word feels so personal against

your flesh. In no time, it draws you near your desired bliss.

You happen to look down at him, and your eyes connect with his.

His eyes glowed lilac, which told you that he was fully aroused.

You could always tell what was going on with him just by the color

of his eyes. The sight of him giving you

amazing cunnilingus made you slightly release essence of joy.

"Mmm.. I'm addicted to the taste of your beautiful cunt,"

Seonghwa hums against your love button. Your hands are still locked tightly

with his. Your body rocks and cuss words escape from your mouth.

"I'm close... I'm so close," you moan. You need the

earth-shattering release that only Seonghwa could give you.

Those were the few words that your lover needs to hear. His

skillful tongue works overtime to help you feel that familiar feeling.

Your body begins to tremble, and you release your essence into his

mouth. Your eyes shut tight as you ride out the wave of your orgasm.

You can feel his lips curl up into a smile as he takes your body

to another level.

You slowly open your eyes and still feel the aftershocks of that

beautiful release. Seonghwa plants gentle kisses against your pussy.

"You're so beautiful when you cum," Seonghwa says. He

snakes his body back up to yours and kisses you.

This time he allows his tongue to slip into your mouth to taste

you. Your body still shakes a little while you are lost in a kiss.

"Fuck me.. just like this," you say between kisses.

You wrapped your legs around his waist. He slides into your already wet center.

You gasp at the feeling of him being inside of you again. A

feeling that you missed and always felt so good whenever you experienced it.

"You always bring me home when I'm inside you," he

whispers into your ear.

Seonghwa flicks his tongue against your left ear and drills slowly

into you. He already knows what you like, so there was no coaching necessary.

"Damn, baby," you moan. Seonghwa gives you everything he

had. No one can make you feel this connection.

"I know. I want to feel this feeling forever."

Seonghwa holds you close and flips you, so now you are on top. He

bounces you on his dick while he rubs your clit. This feeling brings you to

another level, close to your release.

"You're so beautiful like this," he compliments you. 

He lies back against the pillows while you take over. Your body follows a familiar rhythm while you ride him. You loved it so much.

"Fuck, I love you," you bottom out. Your hands press down onto his hard abs. The bed is rocking against the wall. 

"I love you, even more, Y/N," he leans forward to kiss

you. He shoves his tongue into your mouth. Your bodies rock together as one.

Your arms wrapped around each other.

Just like that, your bodies slipped into a mutual orgasm. Your

eyes shut tightly and allow the wave to take over. Your mouth is still

connected to his.

Once you pulled away, he said, "You're my only one."

[puppyyboyy]

huge vent under the thingy

.

im really selfish i think, like i dont really do much for people and i dont like to talk to people anymore as much as i used to but i think im just scared of people now. my parents pulled me out of school so i wouldnt be bullied but i think it just made my social anxiety worse

im also really sensitive and cry easily and i dont like that, yesterday i almost started crying because i couldnt find a room number in school (i was there for exams) that was super embarrassing

today is my brothers birthday and he has special needs and i feel bad because he has no friends to celebrate his birthday and my sister left the house to go hangout with her boyfriend so its only my mom, dad and me there for him on his birthday and i feel so bad and im like miserable right now and i woke up really upset because i was almost late for my exam and i definitely failed it because i guessed on almost question and i talked about college today and my plans with my guidance counselor at school and she talked about what im gonna do after highschool and i dont know what i wanna do because i thought i was gonna kms at 11 years old and not have anything else ahead of me and im so lost now and i dont even know what to do anymore

and im crying because i cant stop thinking about all the stuff thats gone wrong in my life and if i did things differently i couldve been happier and a better person

and i feel bad cuz im ignoring literally everyone rn whos texting me and im just sitting on my bedroom floor crying and writing this lmao im literally venting on tumblr💀 how did i get this bad omg. i could use my notes app to vent but i also want someone to read this, like anyone idc who im not even asking for help i just wanna be seen in a way i think

and my head is always full of ideas and thoughts and its hard to do anything because its always racing and i dont like it at all and i cant ever find the right words to get all these thoughts out or draw them out because i make art but irs not good it sucks and i hate my art style and i hate how i cant draw poses right or render correctly it pisses me off

my sister is really good at art, she goes to college for it and is way better then me and my parents are always praising her about her art and i feel like ill never be as good as her with anything, shes an honors student and graduated almost top of her class and president of the art club at her highschool (currently my highschool) and i got pulled into a bunch of shit when i made friends at highschool and they are all older then me and have so much drama and i feel like no matter who im friends with i cant be friends with the other people i wanna be friends with because they have drama together and if im one persons friend then i cant be the other persons friend because then im a bad person and i just hate it so much i hate beiing around people and i hate having to pick sides and i wish i could kms and i wouldnt have to deal with anything anymore

and then with my sister- anything i do or make art of my parents are like "cool!" and move on with their rlife and when my sister does art they post it on their facebook and show other family members and praise her so fucking much. im not saying i want all that but it feels like they dont even care

and i also noticed i get less things at Christmas and on my birthday now ever since i came out as trans to my extended family like my grandparents and uncle and aunt, my sister and brother get a bunch of shit and ill get some books and some other shit i dont even want or asked for but my sister gets money and a bunch of shit she asked for (expensive things) and my brother gets new electronics every fucking year. he got the newest iphone and a ipad and a fucking 3d printer last christmas???? and i got books and a 20$ Michaels gift card? its so unfair i with i was cis and my family would like me more itd not even about the gifts its just in general they got so distant and weird with me i feel so odd when i go to family events

sexual talk here- and i feel really gross a lot of the time cuz im sexual a lot and i wish i wasnt because i always feel gross and idk it makes me feel weird i guess its just hormones and a trauma response from when i was younger but i just feel weird especially when im alone and im being sexual i feel gross after and i dont know why im like this

theres so much on my mind and im just like AGHHHH!!!!!! i wanna cut myself and bleed out everywhere istg (i wont actually cuz im very afraid of physical pain)

[twyz]

Guilt.

A little fic based on these headcanons I made for Andy!!

Warning(s): mentions of/implied PTSD, major survivors guilt, death, Chucky (I think that says enough as is), swearing most likely, alcohol (no abuse of it, but it's there) and overall sad stuff

Genre: hurt/comfort with eventual fluff!!

I'm also on mobile so I hope to God that my formatting isn't shit nsjsnsn

--------------------------------------------------------------

Andy Barclay is a name known by few and it's almost always for the wrong reasons. As a child, he was constantly passed around from foster home to foster home due to his "violent history". His "history" isn't his fault. It's all that damn doll's fault.

That doll was a dream come true when he was six years old, but now... God now he's miserable because of him. Every part of his waking life is spent tracking down the man who had ruined his and countless other's lives. This would've never happened if he just kept his mouth shut about that fucking doll.

Shit, he couldn't even be sent away to military school without that thing following him!!

He watched so many innocent people die at Chucky's plastic hands, but honestly, he couldn't help but see Chucky's hands as his own. Time and time again, he ruined relationship after relationship because either someone was killed or he had pushed them away for their safety. No matter how he put it, it was his fault.

It would always be his fault.

After all this time, he was surprised there was still someone who loved him. That person was Kyle Simpson, his older sister. She watched her parents die at Chucky's hands, hell, she was even held at knife point by the doll! She knew what he was like and what he was capable of. The only reason she knew, however, is because of Andy...

Of course it was...

How she doesn't despise him is honestly beyond him. If some kid who just started living with him brought along a killer doll who killed my foster family, he'd surely hate them. However, at the same time he'd feel bad. He'd pity the kid for having to deal with that, and he figured that's the only reason Kyle was still around. Cuz she pitied him. That's it.

✦✧✦

Andy had been now sitting on the couch for over an hour just staring at the ceiling of his cabin, swallowed by his thoughts. They raged inside him, screaming at an aching pitch and telling him how horrible of a person he was. He couldn't help but agree with them. He had been for the last 20 years, so he definitely couldn't stop now. He was alone. Kyle was coming home from work in about 30 minutes and well.. she was honestly the only thing keeping him sane.

The silence had become deafening now. The thoughts in his mind were starting to get louder somehow, so loud to the point where he could feel a headache forming. He sighed as he got up and trudged to the kitchen. Of course he couldn't do this peacefully since our favorite garbage pail kid was there. Well only his head. As soon as he saw him, he smirked a bit.

"Hey sour puss, what's with the face?"

Andy didn't even look at him. He just kept walking, which surprised Chucky a smidge. Oftentimes, Andy would either glare at him or return the snarky comment, but he didn't say anything, much less acknowledged him. Now he knew he was in a bad mood.

"Wowww, giving me the silent treatment huh? And here I thought we were friends," Chucky commented sarcastically.

"Fuck off, Chucky, I'm not in the mood.." Andy finally responded, now shuffling through shelves in the fridge.

"Yeah, I picked up on that," Chucky retorted.

Andy picked up a can of beer and walked out of the kitchen and back to the couch. He sat down before opening the can and taking a swig. The thoughts seemed to become quieter. He sighed in relief as he slowly became less tense.

God, did he hate this. He hated himself and he hated the danger he carried with him. He hated the pain he unintentionally inflicted upon others. He hated Chucky. Lord, did he hate Chucky. If he hadn't wanted a good guy doll on such short notice.. if he had been greatful.. if..

If...

If....

Suddenly the sounds of the front door unlocking could be heard. Kyle was home at long last. Had 30 minutes really passed that fast? Andy stopped staring at the ceiling and looked at the door as it opened, presenting his sister.

"Hey," She greeted him calmly.

"Yo, how was work?" He asked, beyond thankful for her arrival.

"It was.. Work. It was god awfully slow and there was no busy work for me to do, so it went even slower," She was taking off her scarf and leather jacket, hanging it on the coatrack besides the door as she spoke.

Unbeknownst to him, Andy was starting to zone out as she spoke. He began succumbing to his thoughts once again. They started back at the 'if-statements' once again and they kept getting worse and worse.

"Andy?" Kyle had noticed him zoning out. Despite probably her best judgement, she looked at the doll on the table.

"Is he okay?"

"Who knows. He's had a look for the past two hours and has just been staring at the fuckin' ceiling. I think he's started seeing things." Chucky chuckled at his own remark. Some comedian he is.

Kyle immediately knew what was happening and picked up the head, walking over to the vault.

"Wait, whaddid I do??"

"Nothing yet, I just don't need your shitty comments while I talk to him,"

"Shitty comments? I'm sorry you see my commentary as shitty, but I think my advice is great!"

Kyle shook her head as she put the head in the vault, locking it up for the time being. Apart from not needing his comments, she knew what it would do to Andy of Chucky saw him too vulnerable. He'd be destroyed in a way no one else but the two of them would understand.

"Andy, kid, you're zoning out again. What's up with you?" This finally got his attention.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean you're acting... Odd.. Did something happen while I was gone?"

"No no, nothing happened. Just got too quiet, you know how it is," Andy partially lied. It was only partial however because the quiet does bring out the thoughts, but him and her both knew there was more too it.

"..I know that's not it, Andy," She gently pressed on, joining him on the couch.

Now he faltered. While he was cold on the outside, Andy has always been incredibly intimidated by Kyle. He never thought that she'd hurt him or anything, but her calm demeanor yet demanding stance that she somewhat had from when they were kids still prevailed and it never failed to make Andy nervous in one way or another.

"I um,, I've just been getting wrapped up in my thoughts again," Now he was being honest. A small, yet brave, step in the right direction.

"What kinds of thoughts?" Kyle asked gently.

"....guilty thoughts.."

"Guilty?" Now Kyle was concerned. She knew her brother, and while he is someone with a very much so working conscience, a guilty one is one that he lacked most days. There isn't much that he regrets doing, but Kyle still had an idea of where this was going to go.

"I've been thinking about them... Those kids from decades ago.. your parents.. I've been thinking bout' them.." Andy's eyes were fixed on the can in his hands. His hands were gripping it tightly. It showed how genuinely hesitant he was to talk about this.

"Andy..." Kyle's demeanor became soft almost immediately. She was right.. he was feeling guilty for killing them as if he had killed them himself.

"I feel... So fucking bad... Sometimes I wish it were me, Kyle.. I don't want to be dead, because then I wouldn't have you but..." He stopped, his voice now becoming shakey.

"..But you wish it was you so they could be alive right now.. don't you?" Kyle finished his statement for him.

Andy couldn't say anything, so he nodded in response. Tears began bubbling at the corners of his eyes. She was right, she always was. Kyle was always the type of person that could read anyone like a book, especially Andy. That's her little brother for God's sake, of course she could.

Once she had noticed the tears, it was almost like a switch got flipped in her brain. Kyle suddenly pulled Andy into a tight hug and didn't let go.

"It's not your fault."

The tears bubbled over like a boiling pot and started flowing like a highly distressed river. Andy just couldn't hold himself back as he damn there wailed. He clumsily put down the beer can and held onto Kyle for dear life.

Kyle held onto him just as tight, rubbing his quivering back gently as Andy sobbed into her shoulder. She couldn't help but feel bad for him. He was reduced to painful babbling due to how distressed his thoughts had made him, and it made her wonder how he kept himself so composed for so long. Poor guy...

✦✧✦

The rest of the night was just them talking about random things to keep Andy's mind at bay. After a while they even brought Chucky's head back out so they could taunt him for a while, you know, normal sibling activities. They were a good duo for each other. They were each other's support system in their times of crisis, and they're the only real family for each other. They're gonna go far, despite the ginger gremlin trying to prove otherwise.

They'll be okay.

--------------------------------------------------------------

OH MY GOOOOOOD THAT TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE,, I hope it was at least enjoyable!! I know it's super sad, but I promise happier stuff is coming soon!! Also!! Super sorry if there are any mistakes, it's like 11:30 at night and I don't feel like correcting anything shsnsn

[wxniesrxse]

Can you please make trainee a reaction when they fight also like have argumemts with there girlfriend? Thank you

Well here it is! Idk if this is how you wanted it to be but I tried! This look more like reader being a jealous sh💩tty partner 🤣 but anyways enjoy!

🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

YORCH ( understanding & calm & helpful )

"Why did you lie!" You yelled at him. Your eyes about to pour tears out. You went to a wedding event with Yorch. You've never expected for a certain women to come to that wedding event but then again you remember she's a family member of the couple that got married. That women is still in love of Yorch. When you two were in high school, she bullied you because you were dating the "love of her life". She made your life miserable in high school and you hated her. "I asked you if she was coming and you said she's wasn't! You know how much I hate her!" You cried covering your face with your hands. " I-I know! And I'm sorry....but I didn't want to go alone...I wanted you by my side....Yn-". "Quiet! Yorch....I hate lies! You should've told me the truth, we've not gone there....". Yorch watch you with a sad expression. He couldn't believe that you seeing that women again made you get all nervous and angry. He understood about the pass and he was always there to protect you but you showed to much weakness and that disappoint him. " Yn....you shouldn't let her affect you...not anymore..." he walk closer to you. His hands delicately place themselves onto your shoulders. " I know you're strong...I know you're-". " Yorch I'm going to my room...." You said running to your room leaving a sad and upset Yorch watching you run off. " I will help you to overcome this..." he mumbled to himself.

🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃

Leo ( tries to control his emotions)

" you know what....I'm sick of this! Are you using your busy job as an excuse to cheat on me with someone else?..." You stood in front of the door blocking Leo from going out. Lately Leo has been to busy with his job as a music producer, helping trainees to make their own music . So he has to be there at work the entire day. He no longer spends time with you like he used to and that bother you a lot. Even before this when he had time to be with you he worked as a music producer and with the trainees as well so why so suddenly he can't no longer spend time with you? Well you only have one answer. The most common answer....he's cheating. Leo scoffed at you finding your words silly. " No, im heading to my job...what makes you think of that?..." He raised up his voice a little, tilting his head to the side trying to figure out what's wrong with you. " you no longer spend time with me! You're cheating on me!" You yelled. You felt anger rise in you as you hit his chest with your tiny fists. Once Leo felt you hit him, he closed his eyes and shoved backwards because of the force. He felt annoyed about your stupid thoughts. "Are you serious right now?....." he raised up his voice again but tried to calm himself. He had a poker face. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose and above. " Yn, baby, I wouldn't do that to you, I can't, I don't have the time to cheat nor am I interested to do it" Then he smiled and walk close to you, putting his hands to touch the sides of your face. "I have amazing projects coming for the trainees, that's why I'm working hard....once things gets done, I'll be back with you... okay?" He whispered as kiss you slowly. You kiss back but then pulled away and hug him. " I just don't want to lose you!". He smiled. " you won't".

🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤

SANGWON ( calm but feels sad and uncomfortable arguing)

" Yn! I think I'll be able debut this time-" He was so happy to tell you this news but his happy smile turned into a frown once he heard your reply. " you said that too last year and you didn't debut...please stop dreaming....actually how about you stop goofing off with your dumb friends, I feel like you're just there to play instead of spending time with me! You're wasting time with them!"'you cried out loud spilling all your anger. Sangwon look at you and couldn't recognize you. " why are saying that?....look if you have problems with your parents again don't take your anger on me....I didn't do anything to you" He said in a sad tone. He didn't even look at you his eyes avoiding you and staring blankly at the tiny table in front of him. He look like he wanted to cry but he hide it with a blank face. " what? It's my parents and you! Y'all don't love me!" You yelled with crying tears as you look at him beside you. He look down at his hands. His fingers slightly pinching the skin of his hand. Could it be he feels uncomfortable of the situation? He was being awfully too quiet. " say something!" You shout still looking at him. Sangwon look back you at you with watery eyes. " say what?.... your words about how I should I give up my dreams hurt me...... There's nothing to say..."he said with no emotion. His voice sounding calm and soft. You felt like shiiiiiiii💩 even more.

🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋

WOOCHAN ( first tries to cheer you up but if can't succeed he'll get frustrated and yelled later apologize)

"Yn which fast food or restaurant should we try today?..." he asked excited holding your hand while walking in the street. " I don't know...you pick...." You said not showing any care. " oh come on, don't let me decide by myself...what if you don't like it?" He pouted pinching your cheek between his fingers. " nah you pick I'll be okay with it" you slightly smile. "Alright then..." he grinned and look everywhere to see if any place catch his attention. " oh this one! I always wanted to go to that-". "No Woochan! Not that one pick another one!" You whined. "B-but why not? You said I can choose and you'll be okay about it..." He stopped walking and look at you confused. Still holding your hand. " I've heard that place is toooo dirty..." you comment. "What? Really? Should we check if it's true?". You let go of his hand. " are you doubting me?? You're doubting your own girlfriend? How dare you?!" You raised up your voice.  Woochan look at you as if you were crazy. He look afraid. "Y-y-Yn! Baby! Are you o-okay? Why are you getting mad?" He put a hand on your shoulder and his other hand caressing your face. " I'm not mad!" You said....madly. Woochan let's go of you. " you're acting childish! Maybe I should stop pampering you with everything" he try to tease you but you didn't smile. Now he was the one getting mad and frustrated. " what it is women! What! Tell me and I'll fix it! Just stop giving me an attitude!" He raised up his voice on you for the first time. You look at him with wide eyes. " y-you yelled at me?" You said with watery eyes. " I- no wait Yn! I'm sorry!" He yelled as you ran back home.

☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️

JAMES ( tries to explain first about the situation with no lies. If you still not convinced he'll get tired and frustrated for not making you understand he's telling the truth, so he'll just leave because he's tired of arguing)

" Zhao Yufan!!!....." you yelled from your room. " oh crap she's mad..." James mumbled to himself. He learned that whenever you say his whole real name that means you're really mad at him. "Yes baby?" He said pressing his lips together tightly his body tensing. "Who's this women?! Huh? She's a woman Yufan! Not even a teenage girl! Why is she following you! And why is she commenting on your pictures that you're very handsome? Huh? Who is she to you!" You show him his phone. The screen on Instagram and the photo of a beautiful girl. "Wait babe calm down!....first of all she's not lying when she says I'm handsome, second,she's not a woman she just turned 17 last week, and as you can tell she's clearly latina, and Latina girls are naturally like...like t-that! Their body are big- bigger? What am I even saying?!" James struggle to even finish his sentence because of the suspicious look you're giving him. " that point is," he raised his index at you. " she's just a friend! My friends and I met her last week in the dance battles we have every month! What's the problem? She's a very nice person what can I do about that?" He shakes his head to the sides as he throws his phone towards the couch. Then he falls to the couch looking tired. " You better be telling me the truth because I wouldn't forgive you...." You said still angry. James looked annoyed and didn't feel like arguing. " honestly you're the one that is disappointing me....the fact that you do not trust me and even go through my phone is so messed up....I've never done that to you because I trust you....." He said in a stern way. He stood up from his couch and left your house leaving his phone there. Now you felt bad for doing this. He didn't took his phone with him so how are you going to call him?

��🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦

JAYJAY ( will argue back, and yell back, and scream back, and cry back, and then later he will apologize, then you two will get back together. For god sakes he's 16!)

This time he was the one who started the argument. " YN......I don't like hanging out with your friends " he confessed. You dip your French fry in the bbq. "Why? They're so nice" you raised an eyebrow. "They are but they're annoying too....they're so giiirrrly and conceited " my dad bought me the latest new automobile, my family and I went to queen Elizabeth's birthday party" Jay mimicked their squeaky voices. " next time your friend ,F/n, is gonna say she and her puppy travel to the moon with her private spaceship" JayJay laughed. " pfff you're just mad because she's rich!" You argue as you didn't like how he was talking about your best friend F/n. " You forgot I'm rich too? But I don't show off like she does....I don't like show offs" JJ expressed with a teasing smile. "JayJay! Although she's rich! She's a girl that went through a lot! I'm not letting you down talk about her like that!" You said angry throwing a French fry at his face. Jay stopped smiling and look at you with surprise. He also throws a French fry at you. "Alright then! Defend your best friend! Im leaving!" He put on his school backpack. " Jay wait! This isn't fair! I've never talk bad about your friends! Why are you suddenly saying this-". Jay was making his way to the entrance door about to leave the restaurant. "You're friend F/n try to seduce me". He stopped and look back at you. "What?" You said. " yeah you're friend try to seduce with money and promise me things....you're friend in a fake!" Jay yelled and left the restaurant.

🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨🍨

JIHOON ( the listener, after you done talking, he'll talk calmly probably raise his voice a little but quickly stop. If things get bad he'll feel stressed about it) " hoonie in the future you and I will get marry" you said as you daydream in class next to him. "Yeah sure..." he glance at you with a funny look. Of course you're joking when you say this.....right or...." I'm being serious.....once we turn 20 we'll get married and have 10 kids together! Five little Hoonies and five little ynies!" You said excitedly. Jihoon wide his eyes as he look at you with fear. " ha! Hahaha! You're so silly Ynie...cute" he rubbed your head and faked laughed. You slam your hands against the desk. " I'm serious! Han Jihoon!" You got close to his face trying intimidate him. Jihoon swallow his ball of saliva stuck in his throat. " No!" He said. " of course not!" He yelled nervously. " you don't want to have a feature with me?! " you whispered out loud. " you don't think I'm the only one for you? Then....that means you don't love me at all!" You cried. " No! Yea! I mean no-yes!....agh! You're pranking me right?" Jihoon grasp onto his own hair. " you know what Jihoon......we're done! It seems that you don't want a feature with me" you said separating your desk from his. " No YN! Wait we have to talk!" He whispered back. You ignore him. Jihoon look down at his desk feeling stressed about the situation. He still thinks you're just messing with him but still he feels frustrated.

🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

Thank You For Reading 📖

( also on wattpad and IG )

[stellylee]

TASK #11 WRITE A LETTER

triggering / sensitive content: abandonment, cheating.

I hesitate to address this as 'dear dad' because you haven't been for a while. Unless you count the occasional text, or the cards at Christmas time. I'm not even really sure that you remembered my birthday this year, but it wasn't like I was waiting for you to call. I had a good time with Mandy and my friends.

And I know that I'll never actually send you this letter, because what would either of us get out of it? I don't need to guilt trip you into feeling bad about not being in my life, because I've got a great life despite your absence, and I don't see that changing any time soon. I'm happy. I guess I'm just writing it all down because I have the opportunity to, and why not?

At this point, I'm done being mad at you. Which took a long, long time to realize. Because when mom closed my bedroom door and told me that she needed to talk, I knew that it wasn't going to be an easy conversation. I was only twelve years old, and she told me that we were going to move. Not to another apartment, or another area, another part of the city... or even somewhere else in the state. No, we were moving up the coast, to Maine, of all places, and you weren't coming with us. She never actually told me that you cheated, you know that? I think because she wanted me to have a good, solid relationship with you, which maybe makes it harder that you didn't want that with me. I think it took me a long time to reconcile that feeling and realize that it wasn't all my fault. But, regardless, we moved to Maine and I was absolutely miserable. I hated how remote everything was, how quiet. I was also a pre-teen slash teenager who hated life in general, coming into my own and making decisions about my identity in a brand new place, which I guess was okay. Because I got to be Stelly in my own way. So, hey, I guess thanks for knocking up that chick. Helped me find myself?

Mom fell in love, which at first pissed me off (not just because it made me get a step brother, but just because she moved on), but now I an see that he's really good to and for her. She's happy, which is more than I can say about those last few years in New Orleans. I slowly learned how to not hate Maine. I got into photography, and I waitressed after school while I went to college, and eventually took some bartending classes. Now, I'm lead bartender at a sports bar and I kick some serious ass. I got a job with the local paper, photographing events and taking assignments when they need me, and I'm friends with journalists and editors and all the higher ups. I live in a downtown home that I share with some friends, it needs some work, but it feels like a place that's mine. And I have some really good friends who love me for who I am. And a dog.

And Mandy.

I lied, because sometimes I am a little bit mad at you, knowing that you'll never know how cool she is, or how she makes my heart skip a beat when she kisses my cheek. The way she likes my black jeans and ripped tanks, and the way she doesn't mind that it clashes with her pink hair or the bubblegum way she smiles. The thing is, I definitely gave up on the idea of love and relationships when I found out what you did and how much you hurt mom, but then Mandy stopped by Touchback more and more and I realized it was for me, to see me, to spend time with me... and I realized that maybe humans aren't always so awful to each other. Maybe you can genuinely, really care about a person.

The whole point of this was to let you know in my own fucked up way that... I'm okay without you. That I reached that point where life goes on and everything doesn't feel heavy, and I think about New Orleans with fondness in my heart, instead of the bitterness you planted there. But I could be okay with you, too. A part of me hopes that someday, you call instead of text. Just so I know that you sometimes still think about us, too.

[mitziholder]

ok this might come off rllyweird but i just wanna say i am looking so forward to ur webcomic like youve said stuff abt how oh no one will care and im not saying its gonna be the next billion dollar franchise but ok look. i go to a catholic high school and its absolutely miserable i hate it here but today i remembered ur blog exists and i was like oh i’ll see what she’s up to and from what ive seen i rlly like ur comic!!! it looks fun!!!!and i will wait 10 years for this comic to come out if i have to!!!! its very rare u see stories by women for women about women. and its bc of you and other feminist creators that ive been working on my own story actually (which i doubt is coming out anytime soon but we’ll see how it goes….). this probabaly spunds deranged or whatever idc at this point but i wanted to let you know. and i dont mean this in a “oh you should write it because I care about it” but i guess what i wanna say is that what you create matters for your own personal growth and maybe even for your audience no matter how small it is

;_______;

thank you for sending this message. I don’t find it weird at all. school+work+life have made it difficult to focus on writing so I’ve admittedly been super slow to do stuff and lax on editing and finishing up what I have... plus the general feeling of malaise that comes from the lack of an audience (compared to what I had b4... you know). so, it’s nice to know what little I have shared means that much to you.

if I���m honest, I’m not entirely sure what I want to do with it at this point. as of right now the first volume is under heavy editing and I still have to write the last one (and lightly edit the rest) so 10 years might be a reasonable timeframe lol.

on the one hand I feel a little bad for taking so long to produce even a single chapter, but on the other hand looking at my first draft compared to what I’ve got laid out after significant rewrites makes me think that it was probably a good idea to wait.

I wish you the best with regards to your writing. if you ever want to update on that my inbox is always open :]

[brittanagirlcrush]

She Is the Best Thing

A/N This is what I imagine "The Break-Up" could have (should have?) been. Taylor Swift's Mine (like, duh)

XOXOXOXOXO

"You're breaking up with me?" Brittany's tears tore at Santana's heart.

Santana shook her head. "This isn't working. You know it's not but," Santana's voice broke, "I'm too selfish to let you go. I can't let you go, Britt. I want to do whatever it takes to work this out."

"Then what..."

"I need you to listen to me, okay? Really listen. Let me say everything before you say anything."

Brittany nodded.

"I talked to my parents, to Sue, to some people at Lima Community College. I told Sue that I was leaving Louisville at the end of the semester; that the scholarship should go to someone who would take advantage of the opportunity." She held up her hand to forestall Brittany's argument. "Listen. I'm miserable. I hate it in Louisville; I hate the bitches I cheer with, hell – I hate cheering, my roommate is a jerk with hygiene issues, and I just can't...I just can't seem to find my footing. I gave it two months and it's just not working for me. Being away from you just makes it that much more unbearable. I'm not leaving for you or because of you, got it?"

Brittany nodded and waited for Santana to continue.

"You're still not doing well in school. I talked to my dad and told him that you're a genius; when we study together you know what you're talking about. We did homework together last year; there's no way you had a 0.0 GPA because I saw you do – and hand in – homework. That alone would have brought your average up. So...I don't know if you've ever been tested for ADHD or dyslexia or other neuro-divergent disorders but I do know that you can answer any math question correctly; you just don't answer it the way the school system wants you to."

Santana took a breath and re-ordered her thoughts.

"You didn't fail, Britt," Santana looked directly at Brittany to let her see the honesty and sincerity there, "The school system failed you. Badly." She shook her head. "While I was talking to Sue I mentioned something about it, how I didn't understand how you could fail like that. Sue actually made the point that McKinley's special-ed department is almost non-existent. Did you know that neuro-divergent isn't actually a medical term? It's so that people can avoid using words like normal and abnormal to describe the way someone's brain works. Something this school system never takes into account."

Santana bit her lip in thought. "You're a genius, Britt. You've got better memory than most people, you think outside the box and see things differently, and you can do complex math stuff in your head. You're bilingual – and I know you know what that means," she gave Brittany a grin that the blonde returned slyly before Santana looked down at her hands, wringing relentlessly in her lap.

"So, dad's got some friends in the neurology department and he thinks maybe you should get tested. I don't think you're dyslexic because you never seem to have trouble reading and writing but I don't know and they'd be able to figure out why the teachers here aren't good for you."

Santana paused for another moment; she didn't know how Brittany was going to take all of this but she couldn't not try and do something. She couldn't just stand by – again – and let Brittany fail...again.

"After this semester, I'm going to take some gen-ed courses at LCC. I'm going to actually apply to colleges I'm interested in. Right now, I don't know what I want to study or even what I want to do. I know I said I want to be a star but I'm not sure I even know what that'll look like. So I'm going to take the credits I get this semester and the credits I get from LCC and transfer them to wherever I end up. And..." Santana took a breath before continuing, "LCC also has courses and tutors that can help people who are neuro-divergent gain the tools they need to succeed."

Santana swallowed hard. She was almost done saying all she had to say; the rest was up to Brittany.

"When I leave here – whether it's June, July, August, or September – I want you to leave with me. I realized something; I don't care where I go or what I do. If you're not with me, it's not what I want. When I sang that song..."If I Can't Have You"? I lied to Mr. Schue because he got so weird. That song was all about you – and only about you. I realized something about wanting to be rich and famous; I only wanted that because then I'd be like Ellen and no one could ever tell me I couldn't be with you. The money and the fame would get us out of Lima – together."

Santana took a deep breath and looked up. "Anyway, that's all I have to say." She looked at Brittany hopefully; hope that she didn't hurt Britt's feelings or overstep some boundary.

Brittany wiped away the remainder of her tears. "Then why..." she stopped, gathered her thoughts and started again, "if you don't want to break up with me and you did all this work so we could be together...why sing me a break-up song?" Brittany looked confused.

"See. Genius." Santana's eyes fell back to her hands and voice dropped to a whisper. "Because I was going to break up with you." Tears began slipping down her face. "I promised myself, when we were standing by the lockers after Nationals, junior year that I wouldn't hurt you anymore." She looked back up, locking eyes with Brittany. "And that's all I was doing. I couldn't be here like you needed me. I couldn't call or Skype or text or come home on any kind of consistent basis. I wanted you to be able to find someone who could be here for you. Even if it wasn't me. The look on your face the other night," a sob broke free and she shook her head, "I was hurting you and I hated myself for it."

"Santana..." Brittany's tears were flowing again.

"And then I realized that I was just too damn selfish to let you go; to give someone else a chance to make you theirs. I – I just couldn't do it. That's when I talked to my dad and did the research. The song still fits though," Santana smiled through her tears. "The last verse..."she cleared her throat and, in her sweet, raspy, amazing Santana voice sang:

And I remember that fight, two-thirty am

'Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands

I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye,

'Cause that's all I've ever known

Then, you took me by surprise

You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water

And every time I look at you, it's like the first time

I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

She is the best thing that's ever been mine"

"We're going to be okay, B," Santana looked up hopefully, "if that's what you want?"

Brittany threw her arms around Santana, the two of them crying into each other's shoulders. It took several moments before they were able to pull back and Brittany looked into Santana's eyes, "It's all I ever wanted...to be yours...proudly so."

Do you believe it?

We're gonna make it now

And I can see it

[neuroticboyfriend]

sending this story because I've told people about it before and not felt very vindicated, you seem like someone who could empathize with my position/situation at the time when we (system) were 14 we decided to take one last shot at therapy (long story short; forced into it before due to court orders, hated it, but were so miserable that it was a last resort type of deal). a few months afterward we were diagnosed with depression and anxiety and put on an antidepressant against our will. convo went something like this: doc: i want you to take this medication me: i don't want to take this medication doc: you should try this me: i don't... really want to? got prescribed anyway. after a week of being forced to take it by an unsupportive caregiver, and other life shit going wrong, we ended up in "grippy sock jail." like two days into that, this conversation happens. psych ward doc: i want you to take this medication. will you take it? me: no doc: you should take it. will you take it? me: no. doc: this will help you. do you want it? me: no doc: this will help. do you want to take it? me: no. he asked me a fifth time and I said "yes" because I knew that if I "resisted treatment" I would be stuck there longer, and I was in the middle of missing my exams for school and also less than a week away from Christmas Day. they then made me take the medication every day I was there. when we went home, our caregiver also made us take it and watched carefully to make sure we did. when we faked taking it, she noticed, and became enraged. we had one of the scariest nights of our life happen because we refused to take a medication we never consented to taking and were pressured (basically forced) to be on. we were never on those medications long enough to feel whatever effects they were supposed to have, thankfully, but just being on them and having our consent and autonomy violated in such a manner made our mental health issues x10 worse. we also discovered several years after this that the reason we felt so depressed in the first place was due to a hormone imbalance. now that it's medicated and treated, we don't want to die anymore. a chronic illness no one spotted until it was and that is a prime example of medical malpractice. we aren't schizophrenic nor do we have psychosis. but no one, NO ONE, should be forced to take medication against their will. psychiatric medication can hurt people, physically and mentally. on another note we were looking at medical records from a visit to the ER last year and saw that we were casually given prednisone, which is known to ruin people's health for the rest of their lives. but we didn't know that at the time. very grateful i decided not to take it anyway. and people wonder why I refuse to take anything besides my hormonal medication even when I'm in horrible pain or discomfort...

i havent the energy to reply to this well but i just want you to know i hear you and i do understand. the way psych patients are treated is awful and you deserved so much better.