#and so many are deeply loving and kind beyond what's expected

[watermelonlovershigh]

Friends Who Share Mutual Emotions {part 3.} (housemate!harry series)

Arguments and Confessions {part 2.} (housemate!harry series)

AN: i've been in a writing mood lately so i hope you enjoy me spitting out these stories left and right lol. anyways, here is part 3 to my housemate series. before you ask, yes there will be a part 4 and hopefully a couple more after that. let me know how you liked it and make sure to leave your feedback. thank you and enjoy!

This story contains: mentions of one-night stands, confessions of feelings, slight angst, fluff

{ housemate!harry - friendrry - soft!harry - au harry }

word count- 1,372

Harry confesses that you're the women he likes and after giving you some time to think, you have an eventful conversation about your mutual feelings and how you'd like to move forward within your friendship.

Looking deeply in your eyes, Harry answers clearly, "Her name..... her name is Y/n." The weight of his confession leaves you standing in the kitchen, completely shocked. When you initially asked him about his love interest, you never anticipated that he would reveal his feelings for you. Although he described some of your qualities, you didn't think much of it, as many people can possess similar traits.

Realizing that you need some time to process his words, Harry rises from his stool and states, "I don't expect you to feel the same way about me or anything. I'll give you some space to think, alright?" With that, he turns around and retreats back to his bedroom.

Now standing alone in the kitchen, you find yourself torn about what to do. On one hand, the man who kindly allowed you to stay in his home as a housemate, who eventually became your friend, and whom you've developed feelings for, has just confessed his affection for you. It seems like the ideal outcome, but what if something goes wrong? You would risk losing your best friend and a place to live.

On the other hand, if everything goes well, you could finally experience a fulfilling relationship. You could put an end to the casual encounters and truly understand the intimacy that others have experienced in Harry's bed. You would have the opportunity to feel his touch on your skin and savor his kisses, something you had only imagined during fleeting encounters with strangers.

---------------------------

You head to Harry's bedroom and upon reaching his door, you give it a hesitant knock. A soft voice responds with, "Come in." and you take that as your signal to enter. Inside, you find him sitting up in bed with his cat Pixie beside him, and the TV showing old episodes of Friends.

Approaching his bed slowly, Harry gestures for you to sit beside him. After a deep breath, you confess, "I want you to know that I have feelings for you too, Harry. How could I not? You're kind and sweet, and anyone would be foolish not to have a crush on you. But, I'm afraid."

Harry turns off the TV to focus on you. "Afraid of what, Y/n?" he asks, "We both like each other. What's there to fear?"

"It's not that simple, Harry," you respond with a hint of frustration. Why can't he see your concerns? Maybe it's a gender difference. Men don't worry about relationships as much as women do. Well at least from your personal experiences.

"Can you explain then, please? I want to understand your fears so we can move forward in a way that works for both of us."

Shifting uncomfortably on the bed, you express, "Harry, what if things don't work out between us? What happens then? I could lose a friend and I might not have enough money to cover regular rent in London."

"Y/n, our mutual feelings don't automatically require us to rush into a romantic relationship. We can proceed at a comfortable pace, one day at a time. Even if we don't progress beyond friendship, I value our bond too much to risk losin' it. As for your concern about losin' a place to stay, rest assure that I would never evict you if things don't work out romantically. You were my housemate first and foremost, and that won't change. Well, unless you want to move out someday that is."

Hearing his words have made your eyes gloss over. You can hear the sincerity in his voice and it makes your heart swell. But, you still need some clarification to move forward. "So like, where do we go from here, Harry? I don't want to think we're one thing but you assume we're something else. I don't want to constantly be questioning where we stand. What's too much or what's not enough."

Harry adjusts his posture, leaning closer to you. He carefully reaches out for your hands and clasps them within his larger grasp, holding them gently as he begins to speak. "As I mentioned earlier, Y/n, we can take this slow. Let our connection develop naturally. At this moment, I would describe our relationship as friends, but friends who share mutual emotions. And in response to a question I know you may have, no, I will not be sleepin' with anyone else. And I don't expect..."

Anticipating his next words, you swiftly interject, "No, neither am I. I mean, being involved with someone else intimately. I can promise you that. Besides, I never truly enjoyed having one-night stands. I only sought them out as a means to conceal my feelings for you. But now that my feelings are out in the open, there's no reason to hide them any longer. From now on I only want you."

Chuckling in relief, Harry murmurs, "Just me, huh?" He was incredibly anxious that you might still have the desire to sleep with other people, even though that didn't make much sense after you had confessed your feelings for him. However, he couldn't be entirely certain.

You lean forward, wrapping your arms around Harry's body, embracing him tightly. "Of course, Harry. I would never do that to you. Besides, most of the men I slept with were unsatisfactory, so I'm perfectly fine with giving up my one-night stands."

Harry reciprocates the embrace, then teasingly asks, "Unsatisfactory? Are you tellin' me those muscular, macho men you brought home hardly ever satisfied you?"

You respond, your voice filled with affection against his neck, "That's right. And when they did, it was usually because I was thinking of you."

"Alright, let's end that conversation right here or we'll have a problem on our hands and break our 'takin' it slow' rule." Harry remarks, trying to maintain a sense of caution. If you kept talking about how you always thought of him while having sex with all those strangers, he'd get hard in his pants and he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable right now. Nor does he want to move that fast. Like he said, he genuinely would like to take whatever you are, slow.

You laugh at his words and playfully say, "Can we take a nap? I'm feeling tired. Didn't get much sleep last night."

Harry nods in the embrace you still hold and replies, "Yeah, we can take a nap if you'd like. I didn't get much sleep last night either."

As you sit up, you carefully shift towards Harry's side where he's preparing a space for you to rest. "Seriously?" you inquire. Although you noticed his exhaustion when he entered the kitchen earlier, you didn't consider that it might be due to a lack of sleep.

"Yeah," Harry begins to coo while helping you under his duvet, "felt awful with how I spoke to you last night. The guilt ate me alive and I couldn't sleep."

Now laying side by side, facing each other, you whisper out, "Awe, well you can rest easy now. I forgive you." As your eyes flutter shut, Harry can't help but think about how you're too far away from him. Even though you're literally just six inches apart in reality.

So without thinking, he draws himself closer to you and wraps you in his arms. Which in turn has you pressed up against his clothed chest. "Is this alright?" Harry whispers quietly. Although he wishes to take things slowly, cuddling is typically considered a leisurely activity, isn't it? It remains innocent and platonic.

"Yes, very much alright." you reply and soon after fall asleep. The musky smell Harry produces along with the warmth of his body lulls you right to sleep. It may be only nine in the morning but with your lack of sleep the night before, have no trouble falling unconscious.

Harry also falls into a deep slumber. The comfort of having you in his arms lulls him into a state of relaxation, leading him to quickly doze off. His cat Pixie has now settled at the foot of the bed, peacefully asleep alongside you both. Harry's once anxious room is now filled with tranquility. The unfolding of your friendship will become more apparent when you wake up later today.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @allthelovehes // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe140  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran

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My Masterlist Masterpost

A Shift Occurs {part 4.} (housemate!harry series) (SMUT)

[totallynotsloughjykk]

okay rant because I need to hhhhh I'm so tired of people misinterpreting mu qing. no he is not a heartless monster nor is he a tsundere baby. he's a complex character and people need to stop dumbing him down to either good/bad mu qing values logic before anything. he thinks everything through too much and only considers feelings after, which makes him come off as unempathetic and uncaring. that's his main flaw. he cannot deal with any emotions and hides behind an indifferent/arrogant mask despite it being far from his actual self. his avoidance with vulnerability is understandable considering just how much he had to watch himself during his teenhood and probably even childhood he's hypervigilant and gets defensive the second he feels any form of attack coming towards him. for example, him freaking out over the red coral pearl going missing during the xianle era - which, again, is understandable since that would've ruined his reputation completely. he's also terrible with showing affection and care and that's another reason why he always come off as so mean and rude mu qing is also deeply insecure; he suddenly turned his attention to hong'er after xie lian praised his skill with a saber and he found reasons to kick him out fast (I'll get onto this later). he jumps any time he's handed a broom and he's also pretty easily envious. he doesn't usually go far beyond petty words and punches - like xie lian said, he's spiteful enough to spit in someone's cup, not poison it his flaws are well thought-out and make a lot of sense for his character. you can trace his behavior patterns back to his past; for example, his hypervigilance and arrogant mask comes the fact that everyone always expected the worst of him. the second he was even suspected to be in the wrong everyone turned on him without a doubt, so he grew wary of what he did and what he said. and for the arrogant mask, he couldn't prove otherwise at all - who would listen? no one. so he just gave up and got used to it mu qing has his flaws but he also has his qualities; he's a kind person beneath everything, shockingly enough. he handed poor children cherries after he was beaten up for picking them, he brought feng xin and xie lian rice and medicine after he left, he helped jian lan give birth, he disguised himself to help xie lian and he took a whole cursed shackle for refusing to hurt him. he can only show affection through actions and it's still uncomfortable for his deeds to be recognized since he's already so used to the selfish, cold and indifferent tag everyone slapped on him so he never expects any gratitude or anything in return at all also controversial take but hua cheng was wrong to hold a grudge against mu qing and feng xin. first of all, the feng xin grudge was entirely unnecessary (for mu qing it's a lot more understandable) but that's for another rant. second of all, while it is, again, understandable from hua cheng's POV, from an outside perspective it's just.. wrong. hua cheng will go towards extreme lengths to anyone who even mildly hurts off xie lian, and that's one of his flaws as a character. I love hua cheng deeply and that's part of what makes him beautifully complex. he's overprotective after seeing his beloved hurt so many times by so many people while he couldn't do much about it. he views xie lian through rose-colored lenses and I doubt he'll let go of the way he sees mu qing any time soon considering just how heavy of a grudge he held and how complicated their friendship/relationship in general is. they don't get along and until they formally talk things out, give them 200 years to warm up to each other they'd still probably stab each other if left unattended

[herejusttosufferalong]

Ehhh totally understand if you don't post this because it's depressing af. I'm choosing violence today. I was awash with lovey dovey feelings for our couple after re-watching L&N interviews, re-watching B3, re-watching BTS footage. I was full to the brim with LOVE. These guys had me in a choke-hold. Actually had me reviewing and reflecting on my life and relationships, adding so much joy and self-acceptance, reflecting on my self-worth, improving my world view. Allowing me to breathe in deeply, and expand myself in ways I didn't expect it to.

BUT yesterday was a mess. For so many reasons, not just because of L&N-related content. There were some bad vibes circulating. Then I made a really poor life decision last night. I decided to do some stalking of third parties, which I don't normally do. And of course, it had to be the night where said parties were posting and I saw all things unfolding in real time. My predictions were coming true in real time. It was like the granting of a wish in reverse. And look, I'm not naive to think that these things aren't happening, but when you see it unfold in front of you, it just hits differently. These people are so. fkn. toxic. It drains the life from me. The same occurred this morning when I awoke to see a timeline of HBS. I knew about it, but seeing it, with receipts, fkn disgusted me to my core. It was a visceral reaction. All of a sudden, what looked cute and puppy dog became unsafe and ugly. My empathy dissolved. The thing that gave me the most discomfort was the possible connection to the young dancer who was in B3. It made me think such awful things. (the worst being, is he just a fuck boy who was starved during tour?).

But why, why does it have such an effect? I don't interact with these people, no real relationship. So why? I think because we have been sold a certain narrative, through B3 and the press tour, that being authentic, having depth, focusing on 'the real bones' of people is paramount. Beyond the aesthetic. 'The truth will set you free' kind of thinking, right? And here we have the literal antithesis to that. People who promote and value aesthetic over substance. People who are egocentric and appear to have a very limited worldview. People you expect more from given they sold that 'depth narrative' looking you in the eye. People who are old enough to know better. People who choose to surround themselves with younger folk so that personal growth is disallowed. People who care more about their shallow life fulfillment, their hedonistic desires, than the feelings of others whom they purport to love and care about. People who hide behind ignorance, as if that negates them from consequence. The stereotype celebrity. It's truly deflating. I expected so much more.

And my original thinking of 'oh it's ok, he needs to grow and learn from his mistakes, he needs to find himself...", well, I'm finding it more and more difficult to believe. Because why give him grace? Why is he deserving of grace? Because he acted real well? What does he add to society? What do these fked up people add to this already fked up world? You've got N literally changing a whole landscape, waving her wand and creating light in darkness, urging us to think deeply while laughing at the same time. And no, we don't all possess that kind of magic, but hell, shouldn't we all be striving to be authentic, kind, thoughtful people? Shouldn't we try to promote these things if we believe in them?

Look, in this life, people are always showing you who they really are, telling you exactly what they value, what fills them up, and it's up to us to really look and listen. I'm disappointed in myself for not properly seeing what was in front of me all this time... You can't change those who do not want to be changed. My respect and my fucks given need to be earned, and honestly, we need to reflect on our own self-respect if we are willing to fawn over or idolise someone undeserving. As always, I have hope for people, but I'm no longer holding my breath.

Please, give me that Xanax and wake me up when September ends.

#fkeverything #ohthereyouareteenangst

.

[orchideous-nox]

The Amazing Devil are underrated storytellers

Like I'm sure many people did, I discovered alt-folk band The Amazing Devil through Joey Batey as a fan of The Witcher. Someone on TikTok was talking about the song Fair and how the actor who plays Jaskier (or Dandelion, depending on preference of material) from The Witcher sang it.

Instantly, I knew I had to listen to this song and I sat with it on repeat for an hour, picking through references and laughing at how pure and simple the love conveyed in those words was. It's the kind of love you dream of, where your partner completes you and life without them seems impossible. A love that goes beyond you both, as if there was no choice but to fall for one another. It's not pretentious or impossible to understand. It's universal and I fell in love with it.

Months later, I found Battle Cries, a song of overlapping whimsies. It tells the tale of two lovers ending their relationship and trying to find pieces of calmness in the uproar of their breakup, comparing it to a war not just between each other but within themselves. There a metaphors deeply woven within the lyrics and each line is magic as Joey and Madeleine sing over each other, words occasionally syncing up, representing the way they struggle to feel in tune with each other at the end of their relationship.

Battle Cries lead me to Marbles, the story of a couple where one of them is suffering from memory loss, the trials and tribulations of watching the person you love forget who they are and who you are too. It is a beautifully told story that feels so genuine, making me wonder how close to home the inspiration was. This song is an absolute guarantee at tears while also making you laugh.

Ruin came to me next, as wells as Drinking Song for the Socially Anxious and The Horrors and The Wild, three songs with such incredibly different vibes that don't just need to be listened to but thoroughly devoured.

Finally, a song I can never praise enough, Inkpot Gods. This song brings together so many ideas and images I love. Again, it is heavy on its use of metaphors but contains one of my favourite references they have ever used. The song discusses the love you can hold for another person and the lengths you will go to so you can protect them. It talks of breaking generational expectations and being there for someone when they can't defend themselves.

The best part of Inkpot Gods, however, is the Lord of the Rings reference where Madeleine sings "you might not fear a man//but to a woman by the end you'll kneel and plead". This is popularly theorised to be about Eowyn in The Return of the King and the line "I am no man" she speaks as she ends her foe's life, a show of her strength not despite of her gender. Easily the best line of the trilogy to me, and hearing it in song form cements this, following it with "I'm more than what my mum told me", breaking this tradition what what a woman can or should be.

While Joey Batey was the draw to The Amazing Devil's music for me, Madeleine has kept me there, she has such a beautiful voice and her and Joey together have made some stunning music that I will always love. They tell these fantastic stories within a few minutes, creating characters worthy of epic tales and narratives so deep and complex it leaves you thinking for long after.

[aanthirin]

OC: Vivayth, Warrior-Witch

(art by plague-ridden-rat)

(Full references and guide here)

Formerly a Redoran born in Ebonheart, Vivayth is a mystic and a pellar who applies the will of the House of Troubles and follows the most ancient of magical practices as a means to harness chaos and free herself from the shackles of mortality. An incredibly spiritual person at her core, the combining of the divine and the mortal is essential to her day-to-day, and though her methods of learning and expanding upon her repertoire are unorthodox at best and criminally insane at worst, faith drives her to hopefully one day help all of mortalkind into godhood, even if it means one must turn to the Testing Gods of the Dunmer and bargain with all manner of Daedra and spirit.

While she does try to be kind-hearted and endeavor to be good to people as much as possible, the truth behind Vivayth is far darker than some would have you believe. Despite her awkward behavior, absentmindedness and apparent sweet motives, Vivayth is, in truth, a deeply emotional and troubled individual. Wracked by emotional unpredictability, she often finds herself lost in bloodlust and sadism in moments of intensity, only to later drown in regret. Self-inflicted exposure to horrors of all kinds has left her not only numb to carnage and the loss of life, but it has led her to develop a thrill for both seeing it, and causing it. In spite of all this, she's a woman of faith; religion is a tremendously important cornerstone to her entire personality, and not only is her odd, unorthodox, fully heretical faith is paramount to her way of life, but so is her philosophy of struggle that inevitably may lead to ascension beyond one's flesh. The Ancestral Spirits of Morrowind, those being the Daedra, will always be held in high regard in her heart, and they have enough sway over her that she has since rescinded her faith in the Tribunal; a love for the Three she has held for over a hundred years, now dead.

(art by bloodandboneart)

Vivayth was born to the Rathryn family in Ebonheart on the 21st of Midyear, 2E 409. The Rathryn were a prestigious clan of highborn largely made up of Redoran who have earned their high standing in society by working for the powerful Ra'athim nobility and their ebony mining fiefs. While this arrangement has brought tremendous prosperity to the clan over the generations, young Vivayth—who was, at the time, a boy—felt that this lifestyle she was born into was less of a luxury and more of a suffocating, gilded cage.

The stress of living up to her parents' expectations of her and carrying out whatever duties they might have deemed necessary—ranging from attending Great House banquets to rub elbows with the elite of Ebonheart to training in the yard in preparation of one day taking over the entire clan as its patriarch—was impossible to cope with. Throughout her first years, she slowly began sneaking away from the Rathryn Estate to explore the wilderness that spanned the city island Ebonheart was situated in, calling herself a budding explorer and trailblazer. This led to a dangeorus run-in with the wildlife. As a young child, a passing Mabrigash has taken quite a shine to her, and after healing her and sending her back to Ebonheart, the next several years were spent occasionally traveling to the city gates to mingle with other Ashlanders, who travel to Ebonheart to trade with the merchants and peddlers outside the city gates.

One day, many years after transitioning into a woman and learning what she could about Mysticism from the Ashlanders, Vivayth left her home and her gilded cage to carve her own path in life, and become her own woman.

(art by OathFrog)

Ever since her youth, Vivayth has always looked to the horizon. Her absentmindedness and forgetfulness show how truly far her mind lies above the clouds, and beyond unto the stars. When leaving her hometown of Ebonheart, she promised to herself that she'd acquaint herself with as much of Tamriel as she can, singing her way through life with her lute at her back to support her previously vagrant lifestyle. Her wanderlust is at fault for her interests in Mysticism, a magical practice where discovery and contradiction are foundational.

This had a partial, somewhat unfortunatae result: the laws of the Tribunal Temple and the opulence of the Great Houses led Vivayth to stray from the path of righteousness and into the darkness of the Daedra. Recent events have brought her to look to the teachings of Veloth, and to a greater degree of heresy, the Hunting Grounds of Hircine.

(art by Geinkotsu)

Vivayth always has been, and always will be, aggressively patriotic. Sure, her ideals and views now align more closely to that of the Ashlanders and she is not the fondest of the Great Houses, but her homeland is her soul, and the soul of her people. Nothing about this will ever change, except that the fact about Morrowind being free of lycanthropy has become somewhat inaccurate. She does not believe herself to be the last werewolf in Morrowind, but she is one of the last, after the Temple hunted them down to extinction within the tribunate.

Though madness is unbecoming of a former Redoran such as Vivayth, it has sunk its claws into her mind. Her pursuit of divinity is partially a result of her curse of lycanthropy, though one may come to find it's merely one layer of an ultimate desire for absolute freedom. Ultimately, she has chosen to interpret that she was chosen to help carry out the fate of the Dunmer people: apotheosis. Freedom from mortality, and the destruction of limitation.

This delusion has poisoned everything about her: every little choice that she makes, every promise, every step that she takes, and every word carefully chosen will, in her mind, lead her to fulfill Lorkhanic grand design and destroy the idea of mortality altogether. She will stop at nothing to convince and persuade those she holds dear into sharing this sentiment, and she thinks that if any want to stop her, they will be met with an early freedom of their spirit from their corpse.

[starmosaics]

Venus square Neptune

I have this aspect in my own chart and I've known many people with it in theirs. When Venus squares your Neptune, you can often brush past people’s flaws by magnifying and highlighting the good things about them to the point where you're not seeing the other clearly. Oftentimes these folks don’t see people for who they are because they unconsciously choose to only see another's positive qualities, looking at them through a rose colored lens or placing them on a pedestal higher than where they place themselves, which is why it’s so important for people with this aspect to learn the importance of somewhat detaching themselves from the other and to examine whether or not they're projecting their ideals and expectations. The idea of a person will always be more appealing than the actual person who's standing in front of us. Wishful thinking is huge with this aspect and it can be incredibly destructive as they can perceive something to be greater than it is or put high unrealistic expectations on others.

With this aspect, you kind of choose what you want to see in a person, especially in romantic relationships and when the illusion breaks, what’s underneath can be deeply unsettling for one with a Venus-Neptune square. This is one of the hardest aspects a person can have on their Venus in my opinion because it puts a veil over one's Venus beautifying everything; even the ugly. Red flags turn into a pretty pink and once that veil is lifted we have a hard time forgiving ourselves for not seeing the obvious blaring cautionary signs or for not being rational enough. Tina turner, Whitney Houston, Diane Keaton, Joan Collins, and Stevie Nicks all have this aspect in their charts and all have faced major challenges in regards to their romantic relationships.

These people may attract partners who may not always have their best interests; they may date people who portray themselves as one kind of person when they're the complete opposite, get into a relationship with somebody who is deceiving, or they may face a painful unrequited love. They can often take rejection personally as if it reflects something about themselves, but the truth is rejection is to protect us from those who aren't the right person for us. Neptune is a very distorting and illusive planet when harshly aspecting another planet. These people have a hard time saying no and often fall into people pleasing tendencies as well. Dating is confusing, exhausting and oftentimes very heartbreaking. These people may feel a sense of sorrow for putting in so much effort towards their relationships or a towards person that did not reciprocate.

In romance, Venus-Neptune people are often looking for the love of their life. They're hopeless romantics waiting to cross paths with the one. Venus-Neptune people go through the ringer when it comes to dating and over time they become discouraged and soon realize that maybe their fantasy was never going to come true. Because of this cyclical pain and rejection, they can become entirely closed off to romance by creating ideals that absolutely no one can fulfill.

They can also get into a relationship with someone who does love them, but if it’s not the kind of grandiose fairytale love the Venus-Neptune person is seeking or if the person doesn’t perfectly match their ideals or meet their expectations, they can exit the relationship out of dissatisfaction. A good way to combat this is to ask yourself if you yourself could fulfill all of the things you seek in a partner. This is the challenge because Venus-Neptune folks are hardcore lovers and they tend to repress that part of themselves if they’ve faced enough turmoil in their relationships, or like I said create unrealistic expectations in others, ruining their chance of being in a healthy relationship.

Something a Venus-Neptune individual should know is that the love that they so badly want does exist because they exist and that they don’t need to go over and beyond to receive the love they deserve; they should never plead someone to love them. They need to provide the love that they so badly want to offer another person to themselves first. They also need to determine whether or not their ideals are rooted in reality. Self love, self appreciation, and self examination are deeply needed to be practiced when one has this aspect.

[waxflowerexe]

Coffee Shop 🍵

ᴴᵃᶦ ʷʰᵒᵉᵛᵉʳˢ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦⁿᵍ, ᶦᵛᵉ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵖᵒˢᵗᵉᵈ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᶠᶦᶜ ʳᵉˡᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵉᵛᵉʳʳʳ ˢᵒ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˡᵐᵏ ʷʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ, ᶦ ʰᵃᵛᵉⁿᵗ ʷʳᶦᵗᵗᵉⁿᵗ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵖʳᵒᵖᵉʳˡʸ ᶠᵒʳ ʷᵉˡˡ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵃ ʸᵉᵃʳ ˢᵒ ᵇᵉ ⁿᶦᶜᵉ ˡᵒˡ

Todo with a partner who struggles receiving affection  

Accepting any kind of affection was always difficult for you, something about not getting enough positive attention, something about parental issues and a lack of unconditional love. You didn’t care what it was though, you just couldn’t do it. I mean, you want the praise, the spoiling, the soft touches and attention- but something about it made your stomach churn until you got rid of the source. Whether it be straight up ghosting or just pushing partners away and labelling it as 'the ick', long term relationships were pretty much a no go.

Until Toudou. He was perfectly smitten with you and didn’t take offence when you pushed him away or tried to at least. He knew what you truly wanted and forced you to take it. Beyond casual affection, he truly wanted you to feel safe and it showed. He was so gentle despite his brutish strength and hulking frame, giving you the soft touches you so desperately craved whether it be holding hands or just gently caressing your arms or waist if he’s feeling more bold. You were getting used to it honestly, not quite ready for anything beyond gentle touches and it was nice that someone saw through your façade. That ability of his was something you loved and were deeply grateful for.

It’s always been hard for you to say wat you wanted and as a result people pushed too far. He was so patient with you, as much as he was persistent with showing you affection he didn’t push too far, reading your reactions to different touches and names. On days where you were more sensitive about affections, cringing at his pet names (mostly “sweet girl” and “my pretty”), he would wait for you to initiate. His biggest W was when you were both relaxing at his place going about your own business when you suddenly decided made home in his lap. He didn’t make a deal of it (internally he was screaming but in his head moving or even mentioning it could scare you away). Instead setting for stroking your hair. But yes, he was incredibly receptive of your comfort levels and didn’t condemn you for struggling to communicate what you wanted.

He was more emotionally intelligent than you expected. Moreso than anyone else you’d dealt with before.

Cheeky scenario

“Aoi, let go, people are staring”, actually nobody at all was staring but your fear of being perceived as one of those cringe ‘pda’ couples made you weary of any physical touch in public. 

You should be well adjusted by now, you knew he was clingy and wanted to treat you like his princess but lingering thought made you feel unworthy, embarrassed and sometimes mildly disgusted by it.

He remained silent, brushing you off before massaging the sides of your upper arm and resting his head on your shoulders. You both probably- no definitely looked silly, but again, Toudou didn’t care he would cradle you like a baby everywhere you went if he could.

You stood in line at the local coffee shop, such a cutsey place. It was shocking that Toudou chose it, then again his favourite thing on this earth was Takeda Chan so it tracks. Regardless, choosing to distract yourself from your clingy boyfriend and the sinking feeling in your stomach- you skimmed the menu. Maybe you’d try a new drink or just add something fun to your regular order. This new train of thought combined with Toudou’s soft touches left you completely zoned out. A duality in itself but you’d stopped questioning how many things this man could make you feel at once, it was dizzying to even think about.

“Peppermint tea, no sweetener and a croissant”-

After a quick double take to your boyfriend you smiled at the barista, still a little zoned. You’d only been out for coffee (tea in this case) a few times, and you ordered separately as you didn’t want him paying for you. He lead you to a seating area to wait and ,you turned to face him, he wore a proud smile waiting for some form of praise, for a moment and negative thoughts faded as his pride in himself made you giggle.

Then the guilt returns almost faster than it left as did the familiar pang in your chest, “I’m gonna transfer you the money”, you blurt out. He refused. “No, it’s okay just let me" ,you tried to protest.

After a short back and forth you were met with a “Don’t you dare”, his tone hardened, bordering abrasive, forcing you to shut up and listen.

“o”

And it worked, he shut you right up before pulling you into a hug, your head resting just below his chest as you still attempted to pull away but he didn’t let you. “Just let me love on you", he said softly kissing the top of your head. Again, he said all the right things to make you want to accept his touches, hugs, kisses and whatever else. You’d never admit it but you liked it, you liked that he paid for your order you liked being smushed into his chest and even more the kiss he placed on your head. You did your best to ignore your thoughts and he helped you along with a short whisper of “You deserve everything I have to offer you know, and more”. So you let yourself enjoy the moment until your orders are called.

It wasn’t perfect but slowly you were learning that you were worthy of undying love and you didn’t have to chase away affection

 - Love🌸Flo

ᵛᵉʳʸ ˢᵉˡᶠ ᶦⁿᵈᵘˡᵍᵉⁿᵗ ᵇᵘᵗ ᶦ ʷᵉⁿᵗ ᵒᵘᵗ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵃ ᵍᵘʸ ᶦ ʷᵃˢ ᵗᵃˡᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᴵ ᶦ ʷᶦˢʰ ʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶦⁿˢᵗᵉᵃᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵉˣᵖᵉᶜᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᶠᵃᵛᵒᵘʳˢ ᶦⁿ ʳᵉᵗᵘʳⁿ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃ ᵍᶦᶠᵗ ⁽ᵃ £¹⁰ ᵇᵒᵒᵏ⁾

[iamnmbr3]

Why are the so many parallels between Dudley, James, Draco?... each an only child, self-absorbed, spoiled by their loving/over doting parents, bully others, James and Draco are also both posh pure-blood legacy children, all of them show their capacity to grow beyond that with the limited screen time the book efforts them (for James and Dudley somewhat understandable) but Draco actually has the best placement in the story for that and yet that the one Rowling doesnt want us the focus on

You raise several interesting points here.

There are tons of parallels. One of the reasons Harry almost immediately dislikes Draco is that when they first meet Draco reminds him of Dudley due to his air of spoiled entitlement when he casually asserts that he'll bully his parents into buying him what he wants. (Interestingly, Draco is actually posturing here - while his parents do spoil him to an extent, he most certainly is not able to push them around the way Dudley does with his parents; furthermore, I cannot imagine Vernon publicly reprimanding and shaming Dudley the way Lucius does with Draco in Borgin & Burkes in book 2.) The bigotry of the Malfoys also is ironically paralleled by how the Dursleys view the magical world.

James's dialogue when he first meets Snape & Lily directly and presumably intentionally echoes Draco's dialogue in Madam Malkin's. And James's bullying of Snape may possibly be born of bigoted, classist attitudes though that is speculation. Certainly the friend he views most as an equal is Sirius - who is both pureblood and also, like James, extremely wealthy. The way James treats his friends - especially Peter - more like subordinates also mirrors Draco's relationship with Crabbe and Goyle who are below him in the social hierarchy he is part of and act more as minions than as true friends and confidantes.

And of course Dudley, James, and Draco are all bullies. I actually think James and Dudley are the most similar of the 3. While Draco is a bully, his actions are much milder and less violent than those of James and Dudley. Also, Draco's attitudes and behavior are known and encouraged by his parents. In fact, Draco's biggest problem is that he lacks a penchant for cruelty and does not enjoy or wish to partake in the kind of violence that's expected of him. I would imagine that James and Dudley were both spoiled and that their parents turned a blind eye to their enjoyment of tormenting and hurting others, rather than openly encouraging it. I still find the sadism on display in "Snape's Worst Memory" to be one of the most deeply disturbing scenes in the books.

Now. We never really see any evidence that James changed although we are told he did. We do see a rather touching growth arc for Dudley. Draco also has an incredibly interesting redemption arc and by the last page of book 7 he has completely renounced his old views and behaviors. JK Rowling acknowledges this and yet, inexplicably, refuses to admit Draco got a redemption arc. Despite openly admitting that he changed. Which is...a redemption arc. She seems deeply resentful of the fact that fans like this character and responded to the complexity and growth that she herself wrote for him. It's genuinely bizarre and I don't get it. I suppose perhaps it's a mix of her hating drarry and how popular it became and also not having a good understanding of her own work. But your guess is as good as mine.

[denial-permanente]

Hi there,

I’ve been a follower of your for quite a while and have to say I admire the dynamic you and Tom share, and the strength and closeness that your base relationship reflects.

I send this seeking your opinion, and I apologize if you’ve already answered this before.

I find myself in a precarious situation where I have, slowly, yet steadily and surely, become interested in chastity. For me, and I say this with as much honesty as one can, my interest in this isn’t fetishized as is more Domme focused. As in, I do not find myself interested in the idea because it gets me all hot and bothered (despite the fact that it does), but is more my desire to offer my Domme something I know I have not fully internalized and am fully comfortable with. Its beyond my comfort zone but that is where growth and magic take place. I will want yo say that my apprehension or anxiety are not because I don’t want to be thrown/throw myself into the deep end, but a nervousness about the realities and challenges of how it will play out if that makes sense? It’s sort of a ‘careful what you wish for’ kind of situation.

I am currently seeing a very special woman who is very much on the dominant side of things and we’ve talked about some aspects that our dynamic would involve. We have discussed orgasm control, and she has made it clear to me that this is an expectation she has of me, but chastity is yet to be discussed.

We have been nurturing a very beautiful connection in our relationship, but the thought of her potentially wanting me in chastity and wanting to wear my key on her neck for the world to see (even if fee pick up on it) makes me a little nervous. I feel like that would break me as a submissive, it would make me realize my place infinitely more deeply and would bring me into a state of submission that is beyond what Im used to or know what to expect from.

So I guess my question is: why do you think Im feeling this way and do you think I should override this nervous and just surrender to that desire of hers (as it comes up) fully? I know these are questions only I could answer but I appreciate your experience and take on this greatly.

Thank you in advance :)

Like a lot of men, you may be way overthinking all this. You're seeing a domme, you have chemistry, and things are going well. And instead of just enjoying all this you are worried that things will go... too well? 🙄

First of all, she may not even want to wear one of those ugly keys. I'm sorry... I know a lot of you men get all hot and bothered but we are not 14 years old here. Those keys are ugly and no woman wants to wear one especially if they are dressed up.

Second, she wants to control your orgasms. That is perfectly acceptable with or without a cage. By asking... demanding that she take control of your orgasms she makes sure that your desire is focused on her and not on your penis. I told my husband many years ago that I wanted all of the control over that and even in times when he was not caged he took that very seriously. To me it represented a huge commitment... and women love to see commitment from men.

I guess what I'm saying is to forget about the cage. That is... the cage is not to prevent orgasms, it is to prevent accidents and temptation... both yours and hers.

🔒Tom here. This is a point that gets overlooked a lot: cages do not prevent orgasms, they simply make them inconvenient. Long before my permanently locked status, I considered it a personal challenge to refrain from unauthorized orgasms. Once, my wife had me going for over 15 very difficult months, no cage. And it's true - women love their men to show commitment.

I also think that you're overthinking this. Orgasm control is a step, wearing a cage for her is another step. I understand that guys can have mixed emotions of love/hate/fear over orgasm control/denial, but instead of approaching it as something taken away from you, try looking at it as a sacrifice you are making for her.

[raygirlramblings]

Did what they did with Jade and Pey'j in Captain Laserhawk bother you, too?

SPOILERS AND RAGE BELOW

I AM SO ANGRY YOU HAVE NO IDEA

Beyond Good and Evil fans got SHAFTED BAD. THEY GOT DONE SO BAD AND IM LIVID.

All these muppets going ‘lol the Rayman fandom must be so upset about Laserhawk’ and NO.

NO WE ARE THRIVING WE ARE SO CRAZED AND STARVED AND WE ARE ON CLOUD NINE THAT OUR BOY GOT ALL THIS SCREENTIME

In the first trailer for Laserhawk Rayman was an EASTER EGG. We didn’t even know if he’d have a role with speaking lines until the second trailer. AND WE WERE OK WITH THAT! If baby bean was just a background element to expand the world we would have been happy for the crumbs. But no! Our boy got a full speaking role with a CHARACTER ARC IN A SIX EPISODE SHOW. He got BACKSTORY and RELEVANCE TO THE PLOT. And he DIDN’T GET KILLED OFF.

All that for a character we were expecting to get NOTHING from.

But JADE?!

PEY’J???

They were front and centre from the first trailer. They were established as being as central as Dolph and Bullfrog and WHAT DID IT GET THEM.

Jade gets taken out in ep 2 of 6, and Pey’j goes down the next episode.

At LEAST Pey’j went down being exactly what I expected him to be. A kind protector trying to make the world better. Trying to stop conflict. Trying not to take his pain and suffering from the loss of a girl he loved deeply out on an unfair world. He died a noble if pointless death and from Bullfrog’s expression alone we can see how much it hurt.

JADE GOT NOTHING. Jade died when we barely knew her. We needed more of her. We wanted to see her shine, see more of this wonderful awkward tomboy with a gentle heart. We needed to see how she interacted with others. She DESERVED BETTER. SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET ANY FINAL WORDS.

AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE ‘I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU’ SCENE OR I WILL SNAP AND PUNCH SOMETHING. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

In a show where I watched my favourite childhood character swearing, wielding guns and doing sushi and blow off a hookers back THIS JADE AND PEY’J SCENE IS WHAT MADE ME CRINGE.

I am willing to forgive so much from this show. So much of it was a wonderful, ridiculous, beautifully animated rollercoaster.

But implying any kind of romantic sentiment between these two characters only to kill one of them off in the same episode was so damn weird. It was wrong on so many levels. There was NOTHING WRONG with their older mentor/young ward relationship. It could have been great. I don’t understand why they did this. It didn’t add pressure or gravitas to the situation, we KNOW Pey’j would do anything for Jade, HE DOESN’T HAVE TO HAVE A CRUSH ON HER FOR THAT TO BE REAL.

And seeing Jade and Pey’j in Dolph’s VR dream sequence just felt so hollow. We needed at least an episode to establish any kind of team energy from these four, but we didn’t so seeing Jade give Dolph a pep talk about relaxing more came off as flakey and not good enough for a character who deserved better. They didn’t even establish what Jade and Pey’j were supposed to bring to the team. Pey’j is just ‘the tech guy’ in the same episode he dies. Jade has to play a femme fatale against her type but we don’t even get to see her being her best. To quote Rayman ‘IT’S NOT FAIR’.

Oh boy.

I feel a little better getting that anger out. I’m just sad. I’m sad we lost them. They deserved better.

[afewfantasies]

🏔️The Retreat 🏔️- Chapter I

Prologue | Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Misc references & details

Summary:  Set after the events of the war Gale and Lorena are recovering from what they thought life would be and their new realities. Gale and Lorena were deeply in love with their respective significant others before the war, they had big dreams and grand plans for their futures together. Only it was not to be. Gale takes to a Lakeside retreat in the mountains away from city life when things with Marge don’t go as planned. After a hard breakup and subsequent divorce from her husband Lorena ends up at Gale’s retreat looking for work and a place to stay. This is an angsty fic that follows the themes of love, loss and recovering from trauma. 

Pairing: Gale Cleven x Lorena (black fem oc)

Warnings:  Race is a factor but there will be no overwhelmingly racist outbursts. It is more so a discovery element and explorations, different worlds, a little forbidden love element.

Chapter I - Retreat

*Three Months After Prologue*

The birds woke before everyone, even the sun on some days. Their cheerful chirping allows Lorena to watch the sun rise over the trees and above the mountain. It was a wonder how one day she was traveling scared, heartbroken and lost, then another she’d found this place. The expansiveness of the wilderness the antithesis of everything she had ever known. There was solace in that fact. She’d driven for days, but something stopped her from taking root in other places. There were little things that reminded her of home, of the loneliness and failure she now found as a single woman in a mans world. Families, children, schools, social settings and society life. It was all too raw still. She had never considered the mountains. Although she had enjoyed hotels and banquet halls in her adolescence, the lakeside retreat was the furthest thing from what she expected. A great stone building with many wings for the kind of people she’d never known in the city. It was the perfect place to get lost in, the great beyond was so expansive sometimes it would be impossible to find people even when you went looking. Showering she refreshes herself for the day applying perfumes and fluffing her hair. The prettier she could make herself the better the tips. Fully dressed and in uniform she heads downstairs to see her landlord and employer Gale Cleven. He sits in the same spot as always a man of routine, holding a coffee in his right hand and the paper in the left. Lorena smiles, in appreciation of her unlikely company. it wasn’t something she was conscious of but his routine and predictability brought her peace after years of uncertainty.

“Good morning” Gale says in his even tone.

“Good morning” Lorena responds.

Gale Cleven was her third stop. Unlike the others he was a soldier and his eyes weren't like a predator looking waiting to pick off easy prey. He was quiet and didn’t ask a lot of questions, seeming to want the same in return. It was a dream to Lorena who didn’t want to talk about the past. Thus far he always paid her fairly, and minded his own business. Where his wife was was the greatest mystery of all. Gale was a handsome man, blonde hair, blue eyes, muscular and rich from his lake house retreat. However, his reputation in town was less favourable. He was regarded as a seriously bitter man, who threatened to shoot trespassers and would employ all measures of diversion to maintain his property and the respect he said it deserved. There were scores of scorned women who’d lost their husbands and thus had been denied the passionate trysts they yearned for when they knocked at Gale’s door. He’d turned away more damsel’s than any other man could. He also seemed completely without vice. He ever smoked, never drank and only cursed on rare occasions. He also didn’t talk much to anyone unless something needed to be said. It had taken Lorena some time to get used to the silence and longer still to decide whether Gale liked her or not.

“You have the day off today” he said interrupting Lorenas first sip of tea. She raises a brow in question. “Bunch of rowdy ones arrived late last night - I don’t want any trouble”  Gale says plainly. In his experience men became worse in the presence of a beautiful woman, worse still when they had strong opinions and she was likely to deny their advances like Lorena. In just shy of three months Lorena had come to know no one was a better judge of character and behaviour than Gale.

“Okay” she nods applying jam to her toast. Unlike most men Gale didn’t have to love her to treat her well. She hadn’t arrived batting her long lashes or with a sob story, just well manicured fingernails that looked like they hadn’t done a days worth of honest work in their lives. He’d met his fare share of women from the city, it always took him no time to pick them out. But it was the pain in her eyes that he recognized first, it was the heartbreak that made him give her the job. Lucky for Lorena, Gale didn’t need to like a person to take care of them, he was a Major after all. The safeguarding of others was his forte.

“You have some mail” Gale mutters standing. He heads to a locked drawer pulling out three unopened letters. One is large, the other are undoubtedly personal letters. Gales eyes are attentive as always. Opening the first two Lorena shakes the letters and out fall two cheques. One from her father and the other from Reggie. Enough for her to survive for the next three months with frivolity and not a day of work.

He didn’t need to ask to know what happened to Lorena, he could see the heartbreak in her pretty brown eyes. Still, he respected his commitment to life more than he pitied the heartbreak that befell her. No matter how she sobbed some nights she always came downstairs ready to work without excuse. She had a thing for doing her hair like the starlets of the time. It was good for business to have someone as pretty as her working at his retreat. Service with a smile and surprisingly good conversation for a woman of her standing. She treated everyone equally well, learning about the local fishing from solo travellers and old men and even offering to be a beautician for women on their honeymoon. Her tips were handsome and Gale knew he’d never have another staff member like her. Even if his generous salary offer had been charity at first; she’d earned it. Clearly without needing to work to earn her stay. But he knew better than the most, the key to not being levelled by heartbreak is to keep busy.

“Your folks still worried?” He asks not wanting a search party at his door.

“My mother and sister want me home so I can be remarried” Lorena responds with a bitter smile after briefly looking over the letter.

“Is that such a bad idea?” Gale asks.

Lorena scoffs shaking her head at Gale as she folds the cheques putting them into her breast pocket. “It’s a terrible idea” she responds with folded arms. Her offence is clear.

“I didn’t mean to pry” he says meeting her scowl with surrender. He’d been fearless during the war but something about an angry woman always took him back. It was the only kind of battle he wished to retreat from.

“No you’re just trying to get rid of me” Lorena snaps throwing an accusatory gaze at him. He’d never met a women who could switch from sweet to fierce so quickly.

“I’m not gonna carry on with you Lorena” he warns putting some bass in his voice not wanting an argument. He takes a quick sip of his coffee before putting on his jacket and leaving the house to head into the main lodge. Signing deeply Lorena looks to the large envelope and tears it open to view the finalized divorce decree. Silent tears roll down her eyes. Heading upstairs she takes the safe she’d purchases and places the cheques and letters inside it with all the others. Sobbing silently Lorena loses track of time wallowing in self pity until she hears hooting and hollering from the unruly guests. Sitting in the bay window she watches them scamper around the grounds drunk already before they strip down and head into the lake.

She spends the day writing replies to letters from the past month to each of her parents, her older sister and finally the first since she’s left to Reggie. Looking down at the men returning before dusk she considers a dalliance with one of the young men. It’s been too long since she’s given into the needs of the flesh. So long since shed been desired, since she felt truly desirable, since she’d been held. Since she’d awaken to a strong warm body beside her. Even if it was only for a night perhaps it could do well to quell the loneliness. Twisting her wedding band around her finger, her commitment to Reggie is still too strong. He was who she had wanted then. No one but Reggie would do then and still now. Everyone always told her she was beautiful, men gave her longing looks since she’d began to mature but the words had been empty until Reggie gave them new life and meaning. She wanted to be all the things her friends wanted to be for their beaux’s for him and she was. No preparation was too slight for him to notice, even the change of rouge he saw and complimented. Reggie held his head high as they walked the town together. Everyone could tell it was real and everyone wanted what they had. The feeling was second to none and Lorena had wanted it for everyone too. If it hadn’t been so real perhaps she could go along with an advantageous marriage with an old man. If it wasn’t so real maybe she could stomach moving forward, moving on. If it wasn’t so real maybe she wouldn’t be thousands of miles away crying in her bedroom housed with a stranger.

Giving her wedding band a final twist she removes it placing it into the safe. Maybe the gold would be worth something some day if she fell on hard times. Wiping her tears she gets a tissue blowing her nose. She begins folding the paper placing them in envelopes and lighting candles as the last of the suns embers cast a fading glow on her bedroom. Another day wasted to tears. Putting on the record player only enhances her somber mood she sits folded in her chair with the curtains closed staring into space.

Gale holds the tray as he heads upstairs with hot food. He knocks twice with his elbow hearing the record playing. He’d left men alone all day only to find them no longer living. He’d lost his last man to sadness during the war. With no response he pushes the door open finding Lorena seated at her desk with teary eyes. There’s no judgement in his, he’d been where she was before. He swallows hard placing the tray down in front of her.

“You need to eat something” he says collecting the letters on the table in frnt of her.

Getting a whiff of dinner Lorena smiles wiping her eyes, “Kurt made me Italian style pasta?” She asks.

“Rose stopped by and made it” Gale responds uncovering the pasta dish.

Rose, the mother of his bartender an older woman with a sweet but no nonsense disposition is who he called when he deemed having Lorena working the lodge too much of a headache to him and the others who’d grown protective over the woman.

“She still here?” Lorena asks.

“No, it’s late.” Gale responds.

“Please give her my full days pay” Lorena says taking the fork up.

“I will” Gale responds watching her take a bite. “Do you need me to have these mailed?” He asks looking at the letters on her desk.

“Yes please” she sniffles. He notices the absence of her wedding band on her left hand and puts the letters in his back pocket. He steps back ready to leave without a goodbye. “Gale?” She calls.

“Yes?” He stops turning to face her, no judgement in his eyes.

“It’s just the war right? There’s nothing wrong with me? The war changes people right?” She asks breaking down again. Sighing he closes the distance between them pulling Lorena into an embrace. He’d held countless men during the war, broken men in their last moments wailing as he promised them it would be okay with a terrible pit in his stomach. This was somehow harder holding a woman who was not his and was in his care. Her ex-husband an enemy he couldn’t commit to killing for his slights because they’d fought on the same side of the war. Her sobs soak through his shirt and he strokes her hair whispering assurances to her. Lorena had never been prone to hysteria or sorrow. Her parents had raised her better than that. She was a woman of composure. She’d left her marriage without grandiose demonstrations of emotion and yet somehow with Gale she felt safe. In the mountains, in the middle of nowhere, without friends and slow to making conversations; Gale was as good as it gets for a secret keeper.

“Nothings wrong with you. It’s just the war doll, just the war” he repeats in affirmation. Only the war could make a man crazy enough to leave a good woman like Lorena.

_________

Authors Note:

Thanks for reading lovlies, the second chapter should be out soon. Don't forget to like and comment if you'd like me to continue with this story. 😊😘

[foxyanon]

To Love A Dragon: Part 1

Summary: “Two children, born of cruelty, one of fire and one of ice. Of old and new, by fire and blood, a story unfolds.” -prophecy spoken by Visenya after the birth of her granddaughter

Notes: I am incapable of writing one part fics anymore, so here’s part one of a miniseries about Sihtric and Rhaenerys that takes place during season 2. It’s short but I have more planned for it.

Pairing: Sihtric Kjartansson x Rhaenerys Targaryen

Word Count: 1722

Rating: 18+, MDNI

TW: N/A

Part 2, Part 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from The Last Kingdom or A Song Of Ice And Fire nor do I own any of the images used. I only own my OC, Rhaenerys and the AI image of her.

Dividers by @arcielee and @zaldritzosrose

Sihtric had heard tales of the lands beyond the ocean, where old magic and dragons rule the land. When he was younger, he thought of them just as stories, tall tales to keep young children in line. But now he sees that they weren’t just tales. They were real. Very real.

Dunholm was a flurry of activity, his father even more on edge than usual. Kjartan wasn’t one to let many things get under his skin, but his tense stance and shifting eyes betrayed his fear. Scouts had returned claiming there was a dragon in the area, the men so damned terrified they could hardly speak. Sihtric had been keeping out of the way, before rushing to the ramparts when everyone else started to crowd the high walls.

He heard it before he saw it, the thunderous beating of wings before a massive dragon swooped down out of the sky, a deafening roar rolling across the land. He stood there, frozen in place as he watched the black and purple beast fly towards his home, his fear giving way to a sense of awe. It was only then he saw a saddle strapped to the dragon, the scaled beast flying close enough to the ramparts that Sihtric could just barely make out a woman in the saddle, her white hair blowing wildly behind her. He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear her laughter and by the gods did he want to hear it again.

He couldn’t believe his eyes, an actual Targaryen in Northumbria, but he couldn’t linger in his thoughts for too long, the sound of Tekil calling him pulling him from his reverie. Before he even made it to the old warriors side, he was told to pack his things and be at the stables to leave before nightfall to find where the dragon and its rider were camped at. He kept his head down and did his tasks quickly, knowing that Kjartan and Tekil were in rare form after the sight of a dragon flying over the fortress. The wooden walls could hold back a decent army, but they wouldn’t stand a chance against a dragon if it decided to attack.

The small scouting party left shortly afterward, the dust being stirred up as they made their way along the road with haste in the direction the scouts claimed the dragon flew from. Everyone was on edge, the arrival of the Westerosi royal could mean anything. Traveling merchants had spun tales of the conquest of Westeros, enrapturing Sihtric ever since he was a small boy and now, he may have to live those terrifying tales. He wasn’t sure what he would prefer, a fate to remain at the hands of his father or hope the dragon rider would show him more mercy than he’d known if conquest was their mission. He should’ve known better to put the choice to the Norns, because they always spin your fate in ways you wouldn’t expect.

They rode for a day, finding the camp with ease due to the size of it. After stashing the horses where they would camp for the night and finding a place to hide out and observe, Sihtric noticed the camp was a flurry of activity. There were people everywhere, men in metal suits wandering around while servants of all kinds hurried about to do their tasks. While the young Dane wouldn’t say it out loud, the sight of the three headed dragon banners fluttering around the camp and the idea they were spying on one of the more powerful and well known royal families deeply unsettled him, and he couldn’t foresee an outcome where they walked away with their lives.

The party made camp far from the royal retinue, Tekil and the older warriors coming up with a strategy to infiltrate the camp and learn what they could before heading back to Dunholm. Sihtric sat quietly, sharpening his axe as he listened to the words they spoke. Something in his gut told him they would have a much harder time blending into the crowd here, that this would not be a simple scouting mission. In the short time since he laid eyes on the encampment, the amount of armored and armed men patrolling the area was more than expected. This was no Saxon guard they were spying on, this was the Targaryen retinue, and there were easily more guards in this one’s household guard than all of Northumbria combined. He fell into an uneasy sleep, praying to the gods they would survive this endeavor.

Dawn came sooner than he would’ve liked, the small campsite packed quickly while Tekil pulled Sihtric off to the side and informed him what the plan was. He was to sneak into the camp while Tekil and the others caused a distraction, locate the command tent, find out who and why they were here, then meet the rest of the crew at the village a half day’s ride from there before they would all return home. If Sihtric was caught, he was to say nothing about why he was there and if he didn’t make it to the town before noon, they would leave him. A simple enough task, but one that had Sihtric nervous beyond belief.

Once Tekil’s distraction was in motion, a large smoke signal that sent just enough guards off to investigate, Sihtric was able to sneak in with relative ease. He slipped between the tents, steady avoiding those awake and working as the sun began to crest the horizon. He started to panic the longer he snuck around, walking deeper and deeper into the heart of the camp until he found the largest and fanciest tent. Assuming that was where he needed to look, he deftly slipped through the entrance, narrowly avoiding being seen by a large older man in the brightest armor Sihtric had ever laid eyes on.

The tent was separated into sections, a desk covered in correspondence and a plush sitting area in the front with wooden screen dividers hiding the big bed and a copper tub in the back. Sihtric stopped breathing for a moment, noticing that there looked to be a person asleep on the mattress and deciding to make it quick before he got caught. He carefully stepped towards the desk, suddenly very grateful that Tekil had made sure he could at least read or he would’ve been done for.

He quickly searched the mess of papers, locating a letter from the newly crowned King Guthred to a one King Maegor, talking about a potential marriage alliance with Maegor’s daughter, Princess Rhaenerys. While there was no mention as to what all the alliance would entail, there was a location for them to meet in person to discuss the details. Satisfied with the intel he collected, Sihtric stuffed the letter into his leathers just as the sleeping person started to stir. With the noises at the front of the tent getting louder, indicating the arrival of more people, he knew time was up and he needed to leave now.

Keeping himself pressed against the wall of the tent, Sihtric tiptoed past the divider and around the tub, keeping his eyes on the shifting form of the waking person. When they sat up, rubbing the sleep from their eyes, Sihtric nearly tripped over his own feet at the sight of the beautiful woman. Her long silver white hair was unbound, tumbling over her eyes as the silk sheet exposed her fair skin, covered by some fancy nightgown that he knew was not made in these lands. He knew he needed to keep moving, that Tekil was waiting for him and lingering here any longer was a death wish. As he reached for the opening at the back of the tent, his eyes locked with two deep purple ones, a confused look spreading across the young woman’s face. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, Sihtric’s heart beating rapidly within his chest as some strange feeling took hold of his heart in that moment.

He nodded once, before rushing out and not looking back, sneaking back through the camp before breaking into a run where his horse was. The journey to the rendezvous point went briskly, Sihtric’s mind a whirlwind as the adrenaline of being seen and seeing that stunning woman took over. He couldn’t explain it, but it was like something clicked into place for him. He had no words for his emotions, but they were stronger than ones he’d felt before. As he rode hard along the dusty road, he knew his fate had changed drastically.

Rhaenerys sat in her bed for a few moments, trying to determine if the strange, albeit handsome, man was another figment of her erratic dreams or if he had been real. Her ladies maids entered the tent, pulling her from her thoughts as their familiar voices filled the air. She could hear them talking about some false alarm the guards investigated around dawn, a fire having been set by some locals probably but it had the knights on edge now. Rhaenerys rolled her eyes and got ready for the day, the mismatched eyes she had seen never leaving her thoughts for long.

They looked familiar, reminding her of a wolf she used to dream about when she was younger. Once, her grandmother said that her dream was an omen, one that meant she would meet someone who embodied a duo eyed wolf and that she would know when the time was right. As cryptic and vague as that answer was when she was a child, she couldn’t help but think how correct it was in this moment. It meant he had been real and she wondered if their paths would cross again.

Her ladies finished dressing her in her riding leathers, tying the last knot when Rhaenerys noticed a letter missing from her desk. A wry smile formed on her lips, the knowledge that she would likely see that man again when she arrived in Cumberland to determine whether or not King Guthred was worthy of her hand, filling her with a new sense of determination. As she greeted the bustling camp and new day with a smile, ready to finish this long journey and discover that strangers place in her future.

Tagging: @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @whitedarkmoonflower @gemini-mama @mrsarnasdelicious @synintheraven

@zaldritzosrose @alexagirlie @legitalicat @thenameswinter99 @fallingintoyourlilaceyes

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dating Hvitserk would include:

He is fiercely protective of his beloved. His love is like a raging fire, burning bright and hot. If anyone were to harm or threaten you, he would not hesitate to unleash a fierce attack. He would go to any lengths to protect you, even if it meant hurting himself. However, he also can have a very soft and gentle side when it comes to you. He would be very gentle and loving towards you, cherishing you with his every breath.

Well, if you consider the fact that he is a 10th-century Viking, a pretty strange experience most likely. He might take you on a boat trip to raid and pillage a village, as one of his way of showing affection.

Dating him is like having the best time of your life. He's great with making the person he's dating feel important and special in every way possible. He is also a good listener and can hold an engaging conversation about anything you want to talk about. He's also very loyal and would never cheat or lie to the person he's dating. Plus he knows how to have a good time and he's always up for trying new things. And he's not too shabby in the looks department either, if I do say so myself.

He's a very caring and loving man who is protective of his person and would never allow you to come to harm. He is also very loyal and faithful, always remaining faithful to you no matter what. He is very caring and will always be there for his partner when you need it, doing his best to support and comfort you. He is also a very passionate man, who shows his love to his partner in many different ways. He also becomes a very affectionate man.

He is very open and honest with you. He believes in communication and being able to talk openly and honestly about your feelings and thoughts. He is always there to listen to and to help you with any problems that you may have. He is also a very romantic man and will always come up with creative and special ways to show his love for his partner. He is not afraid to show his emotions or to express how much he cares for you.

Being in a relationship with him is like being protected by a fierce warrior who is soft and loving at the same time. His love is strong and sincere. He would do everything in his power for you and protect you with his life. He is very territorial especially when it comes to you and is not afraid of showing you or those around his possession. He can also be very possessive and would need reassurance every time you go out. He becomes very jealous because he is scared of losing you.

Well, he's a man who's very strong and can be very dominant, so you better know how to stay in your place. When he is not angry he's quite kind, and he also likes to play around with the people he likes, although that often involves teasing you and saying a few dirty things. But if you ever want to make him jealous you only have to flirt with other men or spend enough time away from him. But you better not try it too much.

When it comes to dating him, you can expect a lot of attention. He's quite possessive and obsessive, so he likes to keep his partner close by his side at all times. He can also be quite clingy and needy, but this is all because he's so deeply committed to your relationship. He wants you to feel safe, secure and loved.

Dating him can be both a blessing and a curse. While he is extremely loyal, loving, and supportive, he can also be a bit overprotective and jealous. His love for you is intense and all-encompassing, so much so that he wants you to be completely his. This can sometimes lead to arguments when his partner wants to spend time with other people. But ultimately, dating him is like having a constant source of love and warmth in your life.

Dating him can be exciting and fulfilling. He's a very loyal and loving partner who will go above and beyond for those he cares about. He's also very possessive and protective, and he's not afraid to show it. He's very protective of his partner's safety and well-being. He can also be quite obsessive and has a tendency to get wrapped up in the person he's with. He's very romantic and passionate, and he loves showing his affection both physically and emotionally.

If you manage to catch his attention, you're in for a treat. At first, he'll be distant but always polite. When he likes you, and if you're worthy of it, he'll be possessive, obsessive, loving, and protective. At times he might even become quite jealous. He'll make time for you. Take you on dates that mean something. Tell you everything you want and need to know. The only downside is he is a bit clingy and requires a fair amount of attention.

He might be intense at times, but it would never be boring. He would always keep you on your toes and keep you guessing what he would do next. He would shower you with love and affection, but he would also keep you on your toes with his protectiveness and possessiveness. You would find that he is thoughtful and romantic but also strict and possessive. Dating him would be a roller coaster of emotions, but one that you would never want to end.

As a partner, he would be constantly expressing his love for you in both words and gestures. He would shower you with gifts and compliments, and always be there to support you and cheer you on. He would also do his best to fulfill your needs and desires, both physically and emotionally. In return, you would find that he tries to be a patient, understanding, and forgiving individual. He would always work to resolve conflicts in a calm and mature manner and would value the bond that you share above all else.

He would show affection in many ways. He would provide support and comfort when you needed it. He would cook for you, write you letters and texts, and surprise you with thoughtful gifts. He would make sure to listen to you and be present in your life. When possible, he would also shower you with physical affection, hugs, and kisses. He would take time out of his day to make you feel loved and appreciated.

Some of his favorite kinks involve showing off his body and being admired by you. He enjoys feeling desired and sexy, and he gets a thrill from knowing that you find him attractive.

He likes to be dominant in the bedroom. He enjoys being the one in control and dictating the pace and intensity of the action. He likes to be the one who takes the lead and gives you orders. However, he also likes to be submissive at times and let you take control. He enjoys switching roles and experimenting with different dynamics, all to ensure the most enjoyable and pleasurable experience for both of you.

He enjoys exploring your body and finding new ways to please you. He likes to find your sensitive spots and use them to slowly and sensually build up the tension until you are begging for release. He also likes to use toys and other tools to enhance the experience for both of you. He wants to explore and try new and exciting things, and he gets a thrill from seeing his partner being swept up in the moment. He wants you both to achieve ultimate pleasure in all of your sensual encounters.

If you are into it, he is open to experimenting and trying new things. As far as sex positions go, he is open to trying different positions and finding he has no problem with hitting it from behind.

He enjoys using toys and other accessories to enhance your sexual experience. He finds it exhilarating to experiment with different toys and outfits, and he enjoys seeing your reaction when you try something new.

He also enjoys role-playing and pretending to be different characters, as it makes sex more fun and interesting. He wants your sexual relationship to be playful, creative, and entertaining as well as satisfying and physically stimulating.

He enjoys both romantic and wild, animalistic sex. In romantic sex, he loves to have a deep, emotional connection with you and to show his love through intimacy. In more animalistic sex, he likes to be wild and impulsive, letting go of his inhibitions and simply enjoying the pleasure of the moment.

He likes to explore different positions and fetishes with you, and he enjoys switching between being in control and being submissive. Most importantly, he wants to make sure that you are satisfied and have a pleasurable experience.

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Rhythm’s Masterlist

Please be aware that if you interact with my works and you don’t have any indication of being an adult in your profile you’ll be blocked. If you’ve added your age indicator in your profile and want to be unblocked you can reach out to me on @therhythmafterthesun. For more info you can read this post.

Important: all my stories are intended for an 18+ audience only. by reading and interacting with them you acknowledge this fact. if you’re a minor, i can’t control what you do or don’t do online, but i request that you please don’t interact with my blog.

don’t hesitate to leave an ask or reblog my work with your comments, i appreciate every and any feedback :)

if you want to see a more simplified version of my masterlist (one with only the titles, word counts, and basic themes of the fic) you can view it here.

Stray Kids

Bang Chan

Series:

Safe Haven: 127k [SpaceRebel!Chan | Fantasy AU | Sci-Fi AU | Royalty AU | Soulmate AU | Slow Burn | Mutual Pining | Angst | Smut | Fluff]

Being a rebel fighting against a galactic oppressor was no easy feat, but it was something Chan took great pride in. As they took part in a stealth mission, Chan and his friends found themselves on an unknown planet, meeting a mysterious ally; an ally that, over the course of five long months, will help Chan regain hope. [this series has been reworked as of 16/08/2023]

One Shots:

Runaway Princess: 16k [RoyalKnight!Chan | Strangers to Lovers | Angst | Smut | Fluff  | AU - Mediaeval Setting]

Your best friend has sent her most trusted knight to help you escape your abusive home, an intriguing man with many facets you can’t wait to uncover.

The Room: 3k [Alternative Universe | Smut | Established Relationship | Angsty]

Some nights, you wanted nothing more than to spend them with Chris in your room. Thankfully, once you came home tonight, you were able to do just that.

Two Shots:

The King of the Forest: 3k [WerewolfKing!Chan | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Mild Angst | Royalty | Mediaeval Setting]

As a Princess, all you’d ever been deemed good for was doing what you were told and keeping to your role, something that frustrated you beyond belief. It wasn’t until you met that young wolf in the forest that you finally realised there was more out there for you.

The King of the Forest 02: 2k [WerewolfKing!Chan | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Royalty | Mediaeval Setting]

You had one goal: get your husband’s expert opinion. It should’ve been a quick visit to his study… In hindsight, you should’ve known better.

Herbie: 10k [Mechanic!Chan | Smut | Some Fluff | Strangers to Friends to Lovers]

Chris was the best mechanic you’d ever met. He was good at his craft, capable of bringing your dingy car back to life time and time again. He was, also, excellent at riling you up just by existing, which wasn’t the best when you were absolutely convinced he just wanted to be friends with you. But maybe, just maybe, he’d prove you wrong.

Herbie 02: 5k [Smut | Fluff | Friends to Lovers (kind of)]

As it turned out, your hot mechanic friend also had a crush on you. After rocking your world in his repair shop’s office, you wake up the next day on his bed in his clothes, ready to spend a lazy morning together.

Five-Point Star: 6k [Bodyguard/Assassin!Chan | Smut | bit of Fluff | Angst | Strangers to lovers to enemies but lovers?]

With a career like yours, you knew you shouldn’t let yourself fall in love. But honestly, in retrospect, there was no way you wouldn’t have fallen in love with Chris. After meeting him, you couldn’t help but hope that he’d be the last person you fell this deeply for–maybe foolishly so…

Five-Point Star: The Aftermath: 17k [Bodyguard/Assassin!Chan | Smut | bit of Fluff | Angst]

After months of hindering a mercenary’s attempts to get to the person Chris was hired to protect, after months of many fights, injuries, and plotting, he had expected for the resolution to be much more satisfactory than this.

Drabbles/Timestamps:

[23:26]: 1k [Roommate!Chan | Roomies to ???? | Fluff]

You couldn’t sleep, and desperate times require desperate measures.

[02:11]: 1k [Boyfriend!Chan | Established Relationship | Smut | Fluff]

After waking up in the wee hours of the night, your boyfriend simply needed you to warm him up.

MiniSeries - A Mutually Beneficial Agreement

A Mutually Beneficial Agreement - pt 1: 3k [Demon!Chan | Supernatural AU | Smut]

How ironic... to have found yourself entangled with a demon called Christopher, of all things. Some people would’ve made you believe he was taking advantage of you. But you knew better.

A Mutually Beneficial Agreement - pt 2: 14k [Demon!Chan | Supernatural AU | Angst | Smut | Some fluff]

Your favourite demon seemed to be full of surprises, some you could more than get used to, but others that… you weren’t sure you could get used to at all.

MiniSeries - The Realm of Nyaldra:

Purple Flame: 6k [Dokkaebi!Chan | Fantasy AU | Royalty AU | Established Relationship | Smut]

The Firelands’ Gifted Tribes hated each other, especially the Goblin Children and the Dragon Children, but they were willing to work together against a common enemy. Thanks to the war, a pair of star-crossed lovers find the opportunity to end the decade-long feud between the two Gifted Tribes, a goal they’ll strive for whether the Goblin King and the Dragon Queen like it or not.

The Beginning of the End: 2k [Dokkaebi!Chan | Fantasy AU | Royalty AU | Established Relationship | Star-crossed Lovers | Smut | bit Angsty]

Whenever Chan held you in his arms again after spending long periods of time apart, he couldn’t help but feel selfish–and even a bit foolishly hopeful. [A sort of pt. 2 to Purple Flame].

Series of One Shots/Drabbles - WereRoommies:

It’s Cold Out: 8k [Werewolf!Chan | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Roomies to Lovers | Smut]

Your roommate had been acting weird lately, weirder than usual. It was because of his condition, you thought; and in a way, you had been right, just not in the way you had expected.

Rut: 4k [Werewolf!Chan | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Roomies to Lovers | Smut | Fluff]

Your roommate’s rut is coming to an end.

Alpha Dog: 17k [Werewolf!Chan | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Roomies to Lovers | Smut | Fluff | Soulmate AU? 👀]

Chris had a dream since he was very young. He wanted to have a pack of his own, to build a safe space for people with views just like his. Once he managed to accomplish that, he would’ve never imagined that his next dream would arrive at his doorstep in a pretty sundress.

It’s Warm In: 4k [Werewolf!Chan | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | Established Relationship]

You try to spend an intimate, relaxing evening with your boyfriend a handful of months after his rut.

Love is Easy: 10k [Werewolf!Chan | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | Established Relationship]

After two years of living among werewolves, of being an important member of their pack, you finally get to partake in one of their most important activities: their ‘monthly camping trip’.

Surprise: 2k [Werewolf!Chan | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | Established Relationship]

Your boyfriend had been stressed with work lately, so you got yourself a pretty lingerie set to surprise him, hoping to cheer him up.

Afraid to Lose You: 9k [Werewolf!Chan | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | bit Angsty | Established Relationship | Soulmate AU]

The aftermath of an argument with a supernatural being was something no one ever prepared you for, much less if that supernatural being was someone you were romantically involved with. You figured it’d happen eventually, you just weren’t aware of how much it could hurt.

Lee Know

One Shots:

Alone Together: 8k [SpacePirate!Lino | Sci-Fi AU | Smut | Established Relationship (kind of) | Lovers (idiots) to Even More Lovers (affectionate)]

Minho was a man on the run, an outlaw. He was always getting himself into trouble, thieving and fighting against the people that perpetuated an unfair system that did nothing but bring pain to those the system considered lowly and unworthy. For his next mission, he decided to ask for help from the person he trusted most in this world, you.

The Taste of Love: 3k [Vampire!Lino | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Some Fluff | Mediaeval Setting]

Every handful of centuries, Minho found himself someone that was willing to let him feed off of them. It usually wasn’t planned, it sort of just happened. This time, that person was you, the baker that had just moved into town. He wanted nothing more than to have a taste of you, in more ways than one.

Drabbles/Timestamps:

Cherry eyes, cherry lips: 1k [Vampire!Lino | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Fluff]

A stroll to the beach with your recently turned friend leads to a couple compromising situations.

Backseat: 1k [BestFriend!Lino | Smut | Best Friends to Lovers]

Unable to wait a single second longer, you found yourself laying in the back of your best friend’s car.

Series of One Shots - WereRoommies:

Camping with Wolves: 11k [Werewolf!Lino | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | bit of Angst | Best Friends to Lovers]

Minho was your rock, he was your anchor, your best friend, which was why you just couldn’t stop yourself from falling for him, even when he was, essentially, a supernatural being. One ‘camping trip’ might be the last push you needed to finally confess. Or maybe not… 

Dog Unleashed: 11k [Werewolf!Lino | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | Mild Angst? | Established Relationship]

Starting a relationship with the man that had been your best friend since you were a kid was and wasn’t easy in equal parts. It was, because there wasn’t anyone in this world you trusted more than Minho, there wasn’t anyone that made you feel this safe. But sometimes, it just wasn’t. Not only because of the physical distance, but also because of the challenges that posed having a supernatural boyfriend who didn’t like to talk about his equally supernatural problems.

Are You There, Wolf?: 8k [Werewolf!Lino | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | Best Friends to Lovers]

Minho had always deemed himself a bit of a weirdo. In his humble opinion, he’d only become even weirder with time, especially after he acquired his supernatural… condition. He’d never cared much about it, not when you’d always been there for him, and hopefully you would always be.

Changbin

One Shots:

Get Used to It: 3k [non-Idol!AU | Slice of Life | Fluff | Mild Smut]

A pig plushie becomes Changbin’s best wing-man - or alternatively - the one where two idiots finally confess.

In the Labyrinth: 14k [Minotaur!Changbin | Mythical/Fantasy AU | Angst | Smut | Fluff]

The Labyrinth was an enigma for most people. Its existence was known, but what exactly happened within it was a complete mystery. When you entered the Labyrinth, you weren’t really sure what you’d have to come face to face with… Not even in a million years would you have guessed just exactly what you’d find in here.

Series of One Shots - WereRoommies:

Finding Comfort in Autumn: 16k [Werewolf!Changbin | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Rivals? to Lovers | Roomies to Lovers | Fluff | Smut | Angst | Slow Burn]

Changbin was an alpha. He had always been an alpha, but he had a secret. A secret he had only ever shared with the alpha of his pack, a secret he had kept buried as deep within him as he could, a secret he had decided to ignore, until the presence of that annoying omega coworker of his wouldn’t let him ignore it anymore. 

Heat: 6k [Werewolf!Changbin | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | Established Relationship]

With you, Changbin was able to explore areas of himself he’d never even imagined existed. With you, Changbin found himself feeling at home more than ever, which was why he wanted nothing more than to experience your heat with you, too. 

The Love I Always Dreamt Of: 5k [Werewolf!Changbin | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | Established Relationship]

As you and Changbin got to fulfil one of your shared fantasies, he couldn’t help but be reminded that you were the one and only wolf for him.

The Wedding Planners: 3k [Werewolf!Changbin | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | Established Relationship]

Planning a wedding was way more stressful than Changbin could’ve ever expected. It seemed so easy at first, like all that was needed was to fulfil a checklist and call it a day, but he realised very quickly that there was a reason for the concept of bride and groomzilla to have been created.

Hyunjin

One Shots:

Blessed: 4k [Incubus!Hyunjin | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Suggestive | Mild Smut]

Being intimate with someone was something you had trouble understanding. When you steal an alluring, unexpected item, you finally get a taste of what being with someone was actually like.

Of Apples and Moss Beds: 15k [Werewolf!Felix ft. Werewolf!Hyunjin | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Angst | Fluff | Strangers to Lovers | Soulmate AU?]

Felix’s crude reality made it so he hardly dwelled on the fact that he was alone. He never would’ve imagined he’d find a loving family of his own, or that he would be capable of imprinting and finding a soulmate, let alone two. [This story is an instalment of my WereRoomies series. you don’t need to read the other instalments to understand this piece].

Han Jisung

Drabbles/Timestamps:

[00:08]: 1k [Suggestive | Fluff | Best Friends to Lovers]

When you agreed to come to this party, you would’ve never imagined you’d end up making out with your best friend, but you were certainly not going to complain. Not when you’d wanted this for the longest time.

Felix

One Shots:

Of Apples and Moss Beds: 15k [Werewolf!Felix ft. Werewolf!Hyunjin | Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Angst | Fluff | Strangers to Lovers | Soulmate AU?]

Felix’s crude reality made it so he hardly dwelled on the fact that he was alone. He never would’ve imagined he’d find a loving family of his own, or that he would be capable of imprinting and finding a soulmate, let alone two. [This story is an instalment of my WereRoomies series. you don’t need to read the other instalments to understand this piece].

Seungmin

One Shots:

A Helping Hand: 4k [LabHybrid!Seungmin | Smut | Fluff | Best Friends to Lovers | Roommates to Lovers]

After one too many shots of vodka, your best friend confided in you a little problem he’d been dealing with for a couple of months now. Tipsy-you figured that you were more than suitable to give him a helping hand.

I.N | Jeongin

One Shots:

Odd Eyes: 5k [Demon!Jeongin | Period setting | Mild Angst | Fluff if you squint?]

Being cursed was not something you ever planned for your life–clearly–but now that you were, your demon will help you make the most of it.

© therhythmafterthesummer 2022-2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

[hephaestuscrew]

"Minkowski's been talking about Sondheim again…": Minkowski's love of musical theatre and what it reveals about her characterisation and her relationships

TL;DR: Renée Minkowski's love of musicals, while it might seem just like a mundane character detail, is used to give depth to her character because it contrasts with expectations of her from both the listening audience and the other characters. Her willingness or unwillingness to share this interest in different circumstances reveals her relationships with other characters at various points. Since this is a long one, if you'd rather read it as a document, you can view it here: Google Doc version.

"She actually really cares about these talent shows": Episode 8 (Box 953)

In the early episodes of Season 1, Minkowski is presented (largely through Eiffel's unreliable perspective) purely as a strict no-nonsense authority figure without much emotional depth, the kind of person who only likes things that are useful, purposeful, or mandated by Command. In contrast, musical theatre is a creative pursuit that has nothing to do with the mission of the Hephaestus and is viewed by many people as fairly frivolous or silly. The gradual exploration of Minkowski's passion for musicals is one of the many ways that the show expands and challenges our understanding of her as a character. 

The first indication that we get of her interest in musicals is through her entry into the infamous talent show, something that is required as part of the mission. Minkowski really cares about 'crew morale' activities in general, even when they actually have a negative effect on morale and even before she's friends with any of her crew (for example, the Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners in the earlier stage of the mission), perhaps partly because doing things in the "right way" is important to her. 

But Eiffel senses that the talent shows aren't just about rules for her: "it’s bad enough when she makes us do something just because it’s military protocol, but I think that she actually really cares about these talent shows". This might be the first indication that we get of Minkowski caring deeply about anything that isn't inherently part of her role as a Commander. Moments like this are part of the gradual process of giving us insight into her character beyond the Commander archetype that she tries to embody. And yet, she only indulges her theatrical passion because something mandatory gives her permission, or an excuse, to let another part of herself out.

Of course, to satisfy the needs of a talent show, she'd only need to provide a performance of a few minutes. But Eiffel mentions "the second act of the play" - which along with Hera's comment that "Isabel isn't the biggest role in the play" - implies that Minkowski was intending to put on the whole of Pirates of Penzance as her talent show act, rather than a few of the songs or some kind of medley. (I suppose that Eiffel could be exaggerating or Minkowski might have been planning to do extracts from different parts of the play, but I prefer the interpretation in which Minkowski gets to be more ridiculous.) 

Even though no one else would be willing to be in her production of Pirates of Penzance, Minkowski casts Hera as Isabel, a role with two lines and no solo singing. I found some audition notes for this play which said "The traditional staging gives [Isabel] more prominence than the solo opportunities of the part suggest, so she must be a good actress" which does make me sad in relation to Hera's inability to have a more significant role by being physically present on stage. 

It’s sweet that Hera still wants to take part though. She tells Eiffel "Pirates of Penzance is a classic of 19th century comic opera", so either she’s absorbed what Minkowski has told her about the show, or she’s done her own research and formed her own opinions. I enjoy the fact that Hera is the one Hephaestus crew member who shows potential to share Minkowski's musical theatre appreciation; I like to think that this is something they could explore together post-canon.

Anyway, I'm obsessed with the idea that Minkowski was planning to play every character except one in Pirates of Penzance, a show which is designed to have 10 principal characters and a chorus of 14 men. It seems that her contribution to the talent show was supposed to be an entire two-hour two-act musical, with costumes and props, in which she would play almost all of the parts. This is very funny to me as the perhaps predictable consequence of giving an ambitious and frustrated grown-up theatre kid a position of authority and asking them to arrange a talent show. Minkowski knows that the audience will be made up of her subordinates who are theoretically obliged by the chain of command to watch and listen, so she absolutely tries to make the most of that opportunity. There's probably also a degree to which she limits other people's involvement in her musical because - as with her other endeavors - she wants the outcome to be almost entirely within her control (something that is usually pretty much impossible in as collaborative a medium as musical theatre).

Of course, Minkowski's behaviour in most of the talent show episode is affected by her being drugged by Hilbert. This creates an exaggerated situation which is the first real opportunity for Minkowski to be something other than the strict sensible authoritarian Commander and the foil to Eiffel's jokey laid-back attitude. I don't agree with ideas that being intoxicated brings out anyone's true self (especially in the absence of consent for the intoxication), but it seems pretty clear that being under the influence of whatever was in Hilbert's concoction caused Minkowski to fully commit to a level of manic enthusiasm for her musical production that might have otherwise been obscured by her professionalism. It's a particular kind of person who belts showtunes when drunk, and Minkowski is that kind of person, even if that's not how she wants to present herself. (As a sidenote, I seem to remember that they took Emma Sherr-Ziarko's script off her to help her sound more drunk. It's an excellent performance.)

Minkowski wants interval ice cream. She wants "pirate costumes" (and she'll threaten to shoot a man to get them). She wants "swashes and buckles". She wants whatever props she can get her hands on (including a real cannon). This show is important to her, even though only three other people will witness it and two of them actively don't want to be there. It’s important to her for its own sake.

Eiffel says Minkowski wants "a second pair of eyes to tell her if the prop sabre for her Major-General costume was a bit much…"  While I certainly wouldn't put it past Goddard Futuristics to have a prop sabre on the station for no apparent reason, it feels more likely that she might have made it or adapted some existing item. Which suggests that maybe she was that passionate about the props even before Hilbert drugged her. 

Even so, it does feel significant that Minkowski's love of musicals is only revealed in the episode in which she is drugged, exhibiting lowered inhibitions, exaggerated behaviour, and an "impaired euphoric effect". Her love of musical theatre is initially revealed through a professional structure that provides permission, and then further emphasised by a forced intoxication that exaggerates some impulses that perhaps she already had.

"Some hobbies other than making trains run on time": Episode 17 (Bach to the Future)

After Eiffel tells to find Minkowski to find something else to do while her work duties have quietened down, they have the following exchange:

EIFFEL: You must have some hobbies other than making trains run on time. Something to do with friends? Boyfriends? MINKOWSKI: Of course I do, but, well, there aren't really a lot of opportunities for rock climbing or trail hiking in the immediate vicinity. 

Even though this quote doesn't mention musicals, I've included it here for two reasons. Firstly, it's very funny to me that, even after the talent show debacle, Eiffel acts like he's never had any evidence of Minkowski's hobbies. She tried to perform a whole play almost single-handedly and it didn't occur to him that this might indicate an interest of hers outside of work. I think this reflects the fairly two-dimensional view that Eiffel has previously had of Minkowski, which her interest in musical theatre didn't fit into. 

Secondly, it feels notable that Minkowski doesn't mention musical theatre here. She wants to show that she has non-work interests, but without undermining her own authoritative image. Her interest in rock climbing and trail hiking - while it may be genuine - fits with how she wants to be seen as a Commander. These are hobbies which portray her as physically capable, with a high degree of stamina and a willingness to adapt to perhaps less hospitable surroundings. Of course, Minkowski does have these traits and they serve her well on the Hephaestus. But there's not really anything particularly surprising about her expressing these interests. The surprise in this scene comes from the reveal that she has a husband, a character detail which - like her love of musicals - isn't something we'd necessarily expect from the archetype-based view of her we are initially presented with. 

Her interest in rock climbing and trail hiking never come up again, because these details don't really deepen her characterisation (or at least, they aren't really used to deepen her characterisation beyond proving that she isn't entirely all-work-and-no-play). In contrast, Minkowski's love of musicals is brought up over and over because it shows another side of her that she struggles to reveal on the Hephaestus, and that allows more interesting things to be done with her characterisation.

"You wanted to write showtunes": Episode 35 (Need to Know)

Alongside the more high stakes discoveries prompted by the leak from Kepler's files, we also learn that Minkowski applied to - and was rejected from - the Tisch Graduate Musical Theater Writing Program.

Up until this point, we've only had evidence that Minkowski enjoys performing in musicals. But here we learn that Minkowski doesn't just love watching or performing in musicals - she wanted to write them too. This suggests a creative side to her that we never see her fully express.

The course

The Tisch Graduate Musical Theatre Writing Program claims to be the only course of its kind in the world and it accepts just 30 students each year. The current application process requires applicants to: upload play scripts or recordings of songs they've written; answer a large number of extended response questions about their creative process and views on musical theatre; write a 'statement of purpose' which has to talk about why they are applying and include 3 original ideas for musicals; provide a professional resume and a digital portfolio; complete an exercise of writing in response to a prompt; and undergo an interview. The process might have changed somewhat since Minkowski would have been applying (which, if it was soon after she finished college, might have been around the early 2000s) or it might be different in Wolf 359's alternate universe, but I think we can safely assume that applying to this course was a serious undertaking that required an intense amount of commitment and work. 

Applying to a course like that isn't something you do half-heartedly or on a whim. You couldn't apply to this course if you hadn't done a fair amount of musical theatre writing already. (The course requires applicants to choose to apply as bookwriters, lyricists, or composers, but I'm not going to make a guess here as to which of these Minkowski went for.) The fact that Minkowski wanted to study this course suggests that she was seriously considering trying to make a career out of musical theatre writing. In Once In A Lifetime, she tells Cutter that commanding a space station has always been her dream job, but we've got evidence here that it wasn't her only dream job. There's something kind of funny and kind of sad about the idea that writing musicals was her back-up / fall-back career path. She does not like to make life easy for herself.

The revelation 

This information is revealed against Minkowski's will. It's not something she wanted people to find out, and she isn't happy about them knowing:

JACOBI: "Dear Renée, thank you for your interest in the Tisch Graduate Musical Theater Writing Program..." MINKOWSKI: Oh, come on!  JACOBI: (pressing on) "We are sorry to say, we will not be able to offer you a spot in this year's blah blah blah." Oh this is too good. You wanted to write showtunes?  MINKOWSKI: Number one? Shut up. Number two, why are my personal records on there?! [...] How is it in any way relevant?! JACOBI: Oh, I think it's very relevant. I mean, if you're sending someone to pilot ships in deep space, you want to make sure that they can, you know... paint with all the colors of the wind.  Jacobi CRACKS UP - and, although to a lesser degree, so does Lovelace. Minkowski looks at her: really?  LOVELACE: Sorry, Minkowski. It's... it's a little funny.  MINKOWKSI: No, it isn't!

Minkowski seems defensive and embarrassed here. She obviously doesn't trust everyone there with this revelation (Jacobi, Maxwell, Lovelace, and Hera are all present). She considers this information to be "personal" and irrelevant and not even "a little funny". She's used to reactions like Jacobi's (and to a lesser extent Lovelace's); in Ep41 Memoria, she says "most people think it's hilarious that I like musicals" (see below for more thoughts about this quote). But the fact that these mocking reactions are expected doesn't mean that they don't bother her. She wants so badly to be taken seriously and, in this scene, her interest in musical theatre seems to be incompatible with that. Jacobi reacts the way that he does because of the idea that I've already expressed, that a passion for musical theatre does not fit with the serious authoritative image that Minkowski has often presented. It's not the typical hobby of a soldier, especially not a Commander.

To me, the way Lovelace laughs suggests that she might not have previously known about Minkowski's love of musicals, or at least perhaps not the full extent of it. At any rate, it's definitely news to Jacobi. And Minkowski clearly hasn't talked about it enough for it not to feel like a big reveal for her.

The rejection 

It's notable that this reveal is not just that she wanted to write for the stage, but also that she failed to get into a course that might have helped her work towards that goal. This of course compounds Minkowski's discomfort at having this information revealed. Not only did she want to write showtunes, but she encountered rejection in her attempts to do so. This detail implies that perhaps it wasn't just the appeal of her spacefaring dream that stopped her going down a theatrical career path. 

I'm about to move more into headcanon territory rather than just straightforward analysis, but I personally believe that, while Minkowski auditioned for a lot of musicals (particularly as a child / young person), she was never cast as the main role. She seems embarrassed about her interest in musical theatre in a way that (at least judging by people I've encountered) people who were always the lead in their school / college productions don't tend to be. 

We don't have much evidence about her actual level of singing/acting ability, given that she is inebriated during the only time we hear her sing in the podcast. However, it resonates with other aspects of her characterisation to imagine that Minkowski was generally good enough to get an ensemble part but never quite good enough to be cast as a main part. I think she might see only ever being cast as part of the ensemble, and failing to get into the Tisch Musical Theatre Writing programme, as slightly more down-to-earth examples of the same pattern as her repeated rejections from NASA. She is desperate to prove herself. She is "someone who very much wants to matter. To do something important." When she casts herself as almost every part in Pirates of Penzance, she is finally taking the opportunity to be a main character, an opportunity which I imagine had been denied to her over and over in both a literal and metaphorical sense.

"It's just from a play I saw once": Episode 41 (Memoria)

The next scene I want to talk about is from a memory of Hera's, which took place on Day 57 of the Hephaestus mission and in which Minkowski appears to be talking about the Stephen Sondheim musical Sunday in the Park with George:

MINKOWSKI: Oh, it's just from a play I saw once. It doesn't matter. (BEAT) The guy who sings it is this famous French painter. And his entire life is kinda falling apart. But he can always turn what's happening around him into these beautiful paintings.  HERA: And? MINKOWSKI: And... That's, I don't know. Reassuring, maybe? (BEAT) I don't know why I'm going on about this. You don't care.  HERA: I think it's interesting.  MINKOWSKI: Yeah? Most people think it's hilarious that I like musicals.  HERA: I don't see what's funny about it.  MINKOWSKI: Well, thank you Hera, but you're not exactly... you know.  HERA: I'm not... what? 

There's a couple of different things I want to pick out from this exchange. Firstly, the line "Most people think it's hilarious that I like musicals" makes me sad. I don't think she's talking about people on the Hephaestus there. Judging by the quote I talked about from Bach to the Future, Eiffel definitely wouldn't have registered Minkowski's love of musicals at this stage, and I doubt Hilbert cares at all about the hobbies of his fellow crew members. So Minkowski is talking about experiences that she's had on Earth, of people mocking her interest in musicals and thinking it doesn't fit with who she is. You can hear the impact of those experiences in Minkowski's reluctance to elaborate, in the way she says that something she obviously cares about doesn't matter, in her assumption that Hera doesn't care.

Secondly, this scene is a complicated one for Minkowski and Hera's relationship. On the one hand, Minkowski freely talks to Hera about something she's passionate about, and Hera listens and expresses interest. Hera validates Minkowski's interest in musical theatre without making a thing of it being weird and Minkowski thanks her. Again, it’s shown as an interest they could could potentially share.

But on the other hand, it seems like part of the reason Minkowski feels able to open up to Hera is because at this point Minkowski doesn't see opening up to Hera as fully equivalent to opening up to a fellow human. She doesn't just accept Hera not making fun of her interest; instead it seems Minkowski is about to imply that this lack of judgment indicates Hera's difference from humans (although she does have the decency not to say it outright). Minkowski's expectation of judgment from others contributes to her saying something very hurtful to Hera here. (This kind of potential consequence of negative self-attitude is explored a lot with Eiffel, so it's interesting that Minkowski can sometimes have a similar issue.)

Minkowski and Hera's conversation is interrupted when:

The DOOR OPENS.  EIFFEL: Hey, Minkowski, we've - What are you guys talking about?  MINKOWSKI: We were just discussing how I'm going to take away your hot water privileges if you don't reset the long-range scan.

Eiffel can obviously tell that he's walked in on a conversation that is about something other than work, or he wouldn't have asked. But Minkowski actively chooses not to tell him that she was talking to Hera about musicals. Perhaps she doesn't know how to open up to a human subordinate about it. Perhaps she doesn't trust him not to make fun of her. Perhaps she just doesn't have any impulse to talk about her interests with him. Either way, if Minkowski's love of musicals is something which reflects a side of her personality outside of her Commander role, this is a moment where she chooses not to take an opportunity to share that side of herself with Eiffel. This reflects the emotional distance between them three months into the mission, which forms a nice contrast with the next couple of quotes I'm going to talk about.

"Composition. Balance. Harmony.": Episode 54 (The Watchtower)

When Eiffel comes directly face to face with alien life, he discovers that music is the human invention that fascinates the Dear Listeners:

EIFFEL: You haven't figured out music?  BOB: ORDER. DESIGN. TENSION. COMPOSITION. BALANCE. HARMONY.  EIFFEL: (low, to himself) Minkowski's been talking about Sondheim again…

I only learned in the course of writing this post that in this moment the Dear Listeners are almost exactly quoting a repeated phrase used throughout Sunday in the Park with George. The titular protagonist lists various combinations of these qualities in multiple songs in reference to his art. In the closing song, the lyrics are "Order. Design. Tension. Composition. Balance. Light. [...] Harmony." It's not only Eiffel's references that the Dear Listeners are incorporating into their speech - they've picked this one up from Minkowski. This also suggests that some element of her appreciation for musicals and the way she talks about them has fed into the Dear Listeners' understanding of the human phenomenon of music. The Dear Listeners aren't just parroting - they understood the quote enough that they left out the word "light", arguably the only quality in that phrase which isn't a big part of music as well as visual art. Eiffel likes music too, but I don't think that this is how he'd talk about his favourite songs.

This is a refrain about finding order and beauty out of the chaos and uncertainty of life, which was also the aspect of Sunday in the Park with George that Minkowski focused on when talking about it in Memoria. It suggests that art/music could be something governed by rules and principles, which is potentially something that appeals both to Minkowski and to the Dear Listeners.

Eiffel's response to this reference is one of those little hints that reminds us that Eiffel and Minkowski have spent a lot of time together and that not all of that time has involved them being at each others' throats or actively in a life-or-death situation. Some of it has just been Minkowski going on about a musical she loves and Eiffel (willingly or not) paying enough attention that he recognises this phrase as a Sondheim quote that Minkowski has talked about. I suppose that this quote might have been in Eiffel's pop-culture-brain anyway, but judging from Eiffel's general tastes and the fact that I don't think Sunday in the Park with George is one of the more commonly known Sondheim musicals among non-musical fans, it seems more likely that this quote is something he only knows because Minkowski has talked about it. 

Eiffel sounds exasperated at the mention, like he's heard Minkowski talk about Sondheim far too much. But I'd argue that this still says something positive about their relationship, when we contrast it with a couple of other moments I've already mentioned. Firstly, when her previous musical theatre ambitions are revealed to Jacobi, Maxwell, and Lovelace in Need to Know, Minkowski seems embarrassed and defensive. Secondly, in the memory from Memoria, she avoids telling Eiffel that she was talking about this same musical. Yet, by the time The Watchtower takes place, Eiffel is sick of hearing Minkowski talk about Sondheim. She doesn't have the same barriers up in sharing her interests with him, even though he doesn't have the same interests. I think this is a demonstration of how comfortable she feels with him. It's a hint at the kind of easy downtime that they've sometimes shared.

"One day more": Episode 61 (Brave New World)

Eiffel recognises another musical reference of Minkowski’s in the finale. As the crew are preparing for their final confrontation with Cutter and co., Minkowski quotes Les Misérables, mostly to herself - but Eiffel recognises the lyrics and joins in:

EIFFEL: Hey - chin up, soldier. We're almost through. Just one more day, and then we're done.  MINKOWSKI: Yeah, one more day. (more to herself) The time is now, the place is here - one day more.  EIFFEL: - one day more.  They both stop, dead in their tracks. MINKOWSKI: Did you just - ?  EIFFEL: Was that what I - ?  They look at each other: No way. And BURST INTO LAUGHTER.  EIFFEL: Man... this is really it, huh? The end of everything. 

It feels really important that Minkowski and Eiffel share this moment of togetherness before she tries to send him back to Earth and before the rest of the action goes down. I think there’s some nice symbolism about them finding a way to communicate that they both understand. Making references is Eiffel's thing, and musicals are Minkowski's thing, so this is a synthesis of their two approaches. Again, there's a contrast with Minkowski's previous unwillingness to share her musical theatre passions with Eiffel (at least without the mitigating circumstances of a mandatory talent show and some kind of intoxicating substance).

I talked about the significance of the fact that they reference this particular musical in this post from ages ago. I don't think it's too much of a spoiler for Les Misérables to say that the revolution that the song One Day More is building up to does not end well for the revolutionaries. When Eiffel says "Just one more day, and then we're done", it encompasses both the possibility that the crew will escape to travel back to Earth and the possibility that they will all die. Minkowski's reference to a famously tragic musical suggests that it's the latter possibility that's at the forefront of her mind (right before she tries to send Eiffel away from the danger). But Les Misérables is also a story about people standing together in solidarity against powerful oppressive forces, which gives particular resonance to the way that this reference brings Eiffel and Minkowski together in a moment of being completely on the same wavelength as they prepare to fight Cutter and Pryce's plan.

When they laugh here, it's not about the 'hilariousness' of Minkowski's interest in musicals, it's about their unexpected unison - Eiffel's recognition of Minkowski's reference and Minkowski's surprise at the fact he joined in. It's a laugh of togetherness, of shared understanding, of friendship. It's a moment of lightness in dark times. And that moment is provided by Minkowski's pop culture interests, not Eiffel's. In spite of all they've been through, she's not lost that part of herself, and in fact, she's more open about it, at least to Eiffel.

I'll finish by highlighting what Eiffel says when he's trying to get into character to impersonate Minkowski so he can turn the Sol around:

EIFFEL: Umm... yes, this is Lieutenant Commander Renée Minkowski. I'm... uh... well I sure love schedules, and, uh, musicals. And that man, who I married…

I just think this is a nice example of Eiffel not defining Minkowski solely by her professional Commander role. Sure, she likes schedules (probably in a personal as well a professional capacity to be fair), but she also loves musicals, and her husband. It is a fairly reductive overview of her as a person, but it feels reductive in a fond way, like these things are part of Minkowski's brand to Eiffel in a way that he might affectionately tease her about. (Credit to @commsroom for this thought.) His view of Minkowski has come a long way from "our resident Statsi agent" or even just "you must have some hobbies other than making trains run on time." He doesn't see any contradiction or inherent humour in Lieutenant Commander Renée Minkowski's appreciation of musicals.

Conclusion

Minkowski's love of musical theatre is used to deepen her characterisation and is one of the ways in which we gradually begin to see her complexity beyond the strict Commander archetype. The degree to which she is prepared to share this interest at various points is used to illustrate the nature of her relationships with other characters: a general unwillingness to show a less serious side of herself; a complicated potential shared interest with Hera; and the growing understanding between her and Eiffel.

If you read this whole thing, well done / thank you 😄 It wasn't meant to be this long - it just happened… Feel free to share your thoughts!

[arotechno]

the way the aro community talks about attraction is inadequate

Disclaimer: The following is in no way intended to invalidate, shame, or "call out" anyone for using whatever language or terminology they see fit to describe their own experiences. This is about community-wide trends and pressures, rather than individual choices.

As an aroace, I've never felt a particular desire to label other types of attraction I may or may not feel. Identifying as aroace is a way for me to express my disconnect with what society at large views as healthy, normal, valuable, and aspirational; that is, a committed, monogamous, sexual and romantic relationship. I don't want those things. I'm not able to even understand them. But by and large, beyond that, I don't find the framework of different types of attraction very useful at all.

This is the fatal flaw of the split-attraction model in its most advanced form: it's predicated on the idea that there are distinct types of attraction that can be qualified and quantified in neat and tidy boxes. Just as there are people for whom romantic and sexual attraction cannot be separated, there are many (like myself) for whom the very concept of attraction breaks down more and more the more you try to categorize it.

Here's the thing: relationships (of any kind) aren't inherently predicated on attraction, just as they aren't necessarily predicated on love. We can understand, as a community, why an aro person might have a successful romantic relationship despite not feeling romantic attraction, or why an ace person might enjoy engaging in sex even if they are not sexually attracted to their partner. Attraction does not equal action. So why, then, must we make the assumption that everyone must categorize their feelings in terms of attraction at all? This is how we end up with terms like queerplatonic attraction, which warps the original definition of queerplatonic such that a QPR becomes something predicated on a separate kind of attraction that is more unique and special than "regular" platonic feelings, rather than being a broad type of non-romantic relationship that is deliberately built and developed by the people in it based on their own personal needs and desires, and not necessarily based on some ephemeral type of attraction.

This sort of trend towards hyper-categorization is extremely frustrating to someone like me, who doesn't view their relationships or their feelings for others in terms of attraction at all. I'm not platonically "attracted" to my friends, I don't think. I love them platonically (deeply, unconditionally, almost like family), but naming it as attraction makes me almost uncomfortable. Others may not feel that way and that's fine. It's no skin off my nose how people choose to talk about their own feelings. But the implicit expectation in a lot of aro spaces is that you will label your attraction, your feelings, your experiences, your desires, your orientations according to such-and-such paradigms, as if we can wordsmith our way out of simply understanding one another. As if the diversity of aromantic experiences were something we need to break down and quantify.

All of these things are socially constructed. Sex, romance, love, relationships, attraction. That doesn't make them not real, but they are not divinely granted concepts with their own inherent, easy-to-understand taxonomy. We make up the language necessary to describe complex and diverse human experiences as best we can, because it's the only way. But what is absolutely crucial to remember, as a crucial tenet of aro activism and beyond, is that none of these models work for every single person, and needn't be prescriptive.