#and somehow manifesting into the real world to. deal. with the abusers

[snivel1]

Kinito in the computer of a person in an abusive family.

Horror&blood warning under the cut!

Transcript of the intentionally hard to read text:

"Friend! I made sure to give them a good talking to! They won't bother you ever again!"

[theminecraftbee]

FURTHER THEORETICAL PERSONA AU THOUGHTS:

so, as established, the “other world” our persona users go to in order to rescue people is known as the “negative world”. this is a strange, inverted world where things are the opposite color as they are in reality, shadows and structures are oddly twisted, and seemingly normal buildings can contain mazes. there was a time when the negative world may have been less dangerous, and certainly, there was a time where it didn’t affect the real world at all. however, the fears of humanity reached a breaking point, and in those places where there is a great deal of fear, the line between the real world and the negative world becomes thin. persona users (or those who are inclined to become persona users) can slip into the negative world, and bring others with them.

(generally, our protagonists use the hospital as a place to slip in and out of the negative world, once they clear it as the first dungeon.)

buildings and places in the real world that are particularly affected by fear become twisting mazes. shadows and humans alike can become easily lost in them, and shadows - normally fairly docile on the ordinary streets of the negative world - become aggressive and attack within mazes.

most shadows in the negative world belong to concepts, emotions, and the collective consciousness; most are not a particular person. as a result, even though over the years people with a particular affinity may have dreamed of or even slipped in and out of the negative world, the negative world causing people to get sick or vanish was rare. however, somehow recently, the shadows of specific people and their fears have started manifesting in the negative world as a negative-self. this is the cause of the sleeping sickness - this negative-self must be safely guided out of wherever it has gotten lost and back to the person it belongs to in order for a person to wake up. however, other shadows are just as aggressive towards these negative-selves as they would be towards a human, and most people who become lost in the negative world as their negative-self are not prepared at all to survive that onslaught. if their negative-self is killed, then they die of the sleeping sickness.

luckily, impulse and the revival squad are about to exist to start rescuing people from the terrible, strange sleeping sickness. the negative world is unsettling, sure, but persona users can take a lot more abuse than a normal human can, and they’ll do what they can to help!

although, it’s odd - according to the shadows that don’t attack, negative-selves are a brand new phenomenon. none of them know what causes them, and none of them know why they’re so driven to attack them.

...odd.

[canmom]

Toku Tuesday 50: the Kerberos Saga

Last week on Animation Night I wrote about the mighty Hiroyuki Okiura, and I mentioned his best known film, Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade. I promised a one-off return of Toku Tuesday in which we'd watch the first two Kerberos films of Mamoru Oshii, and then Jin-Roh in its proper context.

The first two Kerberos films are perhaps even less known in the West than Oshii's other toku films like Avalon. They've only ever gotten fairly small-scale DVD releases, they have almost zero footprint on torrent sites, and the people who've actually seen them (compared to Jin-Roh, widely regarded as a classic) is tiny. And when they do see it, most people come at them with a sense of putting Jin-Roh into its historical context, which... yeah, guilty.

Kerberos began in 1986, a couple of years after Oshii had left Urusei Yatsura and not long after Angel's Egg; it overlaps with the founding of the Headgear art collective which would create Patlabor. The core series comprises the movie trilogy, lots of manga, and a couple of radio dramas.

It is set in a near future in which Japan was conquered (somehow) by the Nazis instead of the Americans, hence the prominent Stahlhelm imagery - which might have something to do with the overlap between anime otaku and military otaku, manifesting in a fascination with particularly Nazi equipment in anime of this time - you catch glimpses of it in e.g. Gainax's Otaku no Video and FLCL, and Oshii himself had already poked fun at it in Urusei Yatsura.

But, to be fair, this is a story about fascism, martial law and men whose ideology that holds them to be supermen whose mission is to bring order to an unruly country. So it's not like Nazi imagery is inappropriate to such a story. Let's briefly summarise what we're in for.

The three main films in the Kerberos series procede backwards in time. They all deal with a special power-armoured police unit called Kerberos, which quickly abuses its power and gets disbanded by the state. The first one, The Red Spectacles, sees Kerberos leader Koichi Todome returning to Japan after a long period of exile when the unit was destroyed. He wanders through a dreamlike city, which in the end we learn is literally his dream, not a real vision of Japan without Kerberos.

The second, StrayDog: Kerberos Panzer Cop sees the circumstances that brought Todome back to Japan; another former Kerberos member called Inui (dog jokes!) seeks Todome in exile in Taiwan, not knowing he is bringing the attention of a rival police unit that wants to finish them off for good.

Finally, Jin-Roh, with Okiura loosely adapting the first arc of Oshii's manga, rolls back to the early days of Kerberos after their version of WWII, a time of protest not entirely unlike the Anpo protests. We watch a man called Kazuki Fuse gradually losing his humanity, and his meeting with someone who claims to be the sister of a suicide bomber he failed to gun down.

So, how's all this going to handle those hefty themes? That's what I'm interested to find out. With you, hopefully!

Alongside all this - and all the manga, radio dramas, etc. - is a weird spinoff story called Tachiguishi-Retsuden, beginning with a mockumentary about a strange underworld of noodle bars prohibited by the fascist state and the scammers who interact with them, featuring a duo who first appeared in Urusei Yatsura before being adopted into Kerberos. This used a bizarre live action-animation hybrid technique that sounds fascinating - I'll write more if I can get my hands on it.

That's all the summary I have time for now, and anyway it would be better to write more after the films are digested. So tonight we'll take a little dive into the world of Kerberos. If you'd like to join, we'll be starting in about 20 minutes at twitch.tv/canmom

[bibbykins]

hi ! i love your yandere contents most- i don’t know how i end up loving yandere because most people think yandere is quiet disturbing and not a healthy behaviour, and yours kind of soft-ish mostly so less disturbing. i did read hard yandere just for fun, still i fell kind of uncomfortable though. like kind of feels sicks about it. but yours is nice enough because both mutual pining so it less disturbing.

yet afterall, i realised that somehow i kind of having this yandere behaviour in me. when i’m in relationship before, i really really don’t like it when my partner talk to another girl, like i feel so insecure and i just want him to myself. thankfully that i don’t have that urge to kill or anything oh my god - GOD FORBID- or else that will be so mess up istg. but at the time my partner is like really really a good boy though, he knows that i don’t like he talked to another girl, and after that he NEVER talk to another girl. and yeah, but we broke up though, ironically because i don’t like him being so clingy to ke hahhahahaha what a mess up person i was. then i never been in relationship until then, so i don’t know what kind of person am i if i ever fall in love after this. i hope i can be a normal person that in love with decent behaviour though. hopefully.

oh and my friend, she’s married to her boyfriend since high school, let me tell you. his boyfriend, right now is her husband, he’s super damn yandere in real life though. luckily he don’t kill, hopefully no. but he did get in fight -verbally and physically- with those boys who talk to her. damnnnnn, and he don’t like it when she spends too much with us, her girlfriends like how mess up thoughhh. and we tried to make them break up for few months, less than one month they freaking getting back together. that damn boy begging to her and she loves him so much that she turn blind eye and getting back secretly with him. and now they are married and have one child. damn her story makes me realised, yandere does exist. i just realised about this after giving it some thought.

ugh, goosebumps.

WARNING: DISCUSSION OF ABUSE, TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, HARMFUL TRAITS

First, I want to say I mean no hate or malice to this anon.

Then, I want this to serve as a reminder for everyone to read my disclaimers above my Seven Princes Masterlist and the Silhouetted Bonds Masterlist as well as the way I tag all fo my yandere fics as unhealthy relationships (pls let me know if I missed one) because I have said this several times, and will say this again: these yandere behaviors are just abusive and toxic behaviors irl. I have always stated the relationships in my fics are unhealthy/toxic and only "work" in my fics bc it is simply fiction. It is in a world that looks like our own in some cases but is not our own at all.

This ask makes me extremely uncomfortable since you, anon, are describing abusive and toxic traits within you and your friend's husband and the fact that there is now a child involved makes me sick to my stomach. This is another reason I don't feel comfortable writing children into my yandere fics bc although it is a world I created, I simply cannot stomach involving a child.

I implore you to seek help for these harmful behaviors that hurt other real people and I hope your friend's husband does the same. I also beg of everyone to read my disclaimers and seperate fiction from reality, understand that dark romance is not the blue print or something that is acceptable in the real world. We can gush about these unhealthy relationships bc it is simply fiction and hurts no one.

I, and often other writers of dark content, write because we know it is fiction and sometimes write to even deal with our own trauma, or have some escapist fantasy of unconditional and undying "love", however that manifests in our stories. Because of this often heavy content, I encourage everyone to read tags, disclaimers, and author's notes.

Yanderes don't exist irl, those are abusers. Yandere, in my opinion, is not a term I feel comfortable using to talk about people in the real world.

I do not write yandere bc I think it would be cute or funny irl, it's a fictional device for a fictional world, and I would never be so harmful to my partner and I hope you all share the same sentiment.

Please do not send me details about your harmful behaviors or your friend's abusive things like this are not only triggering but just plain upsetting.

Again, please understand, as I've stated many times, the relationships I write are not healthy and only "work" bc they exist in a world I created.

I really debated not answering this ask at all but I felt it needed to be said just in case. If any of this has been unclear, please ask me to clarify because this is extremely important to remember when consuming my fics, and for the most part any media in general.

[legends-live-in-memories]

“How Did All This Happen?”- A Memoire by one Marinette Dupain-Cheng 1

Soooooo I decided to write this. much longer than the other things i posted, also very tonally different. I will definitely continue that other fic tho. I was just brainstorming and now this exists. Yeah.

 without further ado

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

People Fucked Up and Now It’s All Marinette’s Mess to Clean Up I

This was not how Marinette planned for her night to go. Granted, she also could not envision it going literally any other way. The woes of making a deal with the hell-raiser himself, John Constantine, she supposes. She truly hoped Adrien was having a much better time than her with his cousin in London. After the circus that was the past three years, he deserved some reprieve, even if it was with his bratty doppelganger. Regardless, Marinette. Was. Not. Pleased. No matter how many times she thinks over her plan, recalculates every step and decision, she could not fathom this night ending well for her, or anyone really, but mostly her. And no amount of old Ladybug or Guardian luck could help her. Now, if one were to wonder what kind of tragedy had befallen Marinette on this disgraceful night, a brief history of the last three months could enlighten such a person. Or better yet, let’s start at the beginning. The Real Beginning.

So, things existed. Obviously. First there was nothing, and then, something. And as more things began to exist, as new schools of knowledge and concepts and ideas began to, well, exist, Kwamis formed as well. Each Kwami was the physical manifestation of these ideas or abstracts. Creation was the first, coupled with Destruction. And as more things began to exist, more things began needing to be protected. Thus, the Kwami of Protection. This went on. For a while. Soon thereafter there were Kwamis of all types. Jubilation, Time, Strength, etc, etc, and etc. Now these Kwamis did not linger in one spot. They roamed across the far stretches of existence and interacted with the life they found.

Some Kwamis decided to form a magical pact which intergalactic historians would later dub the Emotional Electromagnetic Spectrum. Sounds familiar? The Kwamis themselves were completely blissfully unaware of this title, lest they would have explained to these beings, Maltusians they were called, that they were not in fact, electromagnetic but more so a part of the Powers that Be. Kind of. But this side-story involves the formation of a few universally known Lantern Corps, and that is a barrel of monkeys our exasperated narrator does not want to touch with a ten-foot pole. Or ever.

Other Kwamis, who stuck close to what would become known as the Milky Way, were discovered by a mage who granted them the ability to interact with humans. This mage— and Marinette was silently cursing his descendants, herself included, for if it weren’t for this absolute mad lad, none of the subsequent events of this night would have transcribed—had bound the Kwamis to magical jewelry called Miraculouses. An interesting side effect of these Kwamis being bound to the miraculouses was that the wearer could call upon the powers of the Kwamis for their own usage. The mage feared what could become of the world if this kind of power became so easily accessible, so he created the Order of the Guardians. The Order was dedicated to training young mages to protect, wield and harvest the powers of the miraculouses. The Order swore to true neutrality; wishing not to impose their will on one side or the other, to maintain balance and to not upset the natural order of the world. 

This went surprisingly well for a few millennia, that is, of course, if you ignore the sinking of Atlantis, the extinction of the dinosaurs, the Black Plague, the creation of the Lazarus Pits, Pompeii, to name a few completely egregious instances—not necessarily in order of course—and well, the point stands that it could have been astronomically worse. Until it was.  

One young mage and Guardian in training had caused the downfall of almost the entire Order of the Guardians. All the centuries of history, teachings, artifacts and even the people at the head temple, were lost to the calamity. Dozens of Miraculous Boxes were lost, destroyed in the fray. The Kwamis themselves were relatively unaffected, being immortal and all, but the magical jewelry binding them to the earth were broken, thus those Kwamis were lost to mankind once again. Only one singular box, and the young mage himself, survived. The new Guardian of one miraculous box was left to scour the earth in solitude. Well, about as much solitude one could have with 17 pocket gods as company. The fact that the only box that survived was missing two more miraculouses caused the already stressed guardian to grey further. But that tidbit of information would be a problem for later. And for someone else entirely too. Oh joy.

But before that sequence of events, aptly named “Marinette’s Trial by Fire,” however, the young guardian had a couple more life mistakes to make before he reached his internal quota apparently. Rather than travel to another sector of the Order on the other side of the earth, this young mage stumbled upon another organization, one similar in architecture and hierarchy but a pendulum swing in the total moral opposite. Yes, that’s right, the guardian found himself upon the League of Shadows, led by Ra’s Al Ghul in his endeavor of global cleansing; by acts of ecoterrorism, but who sweats the small stuff, right? There, the young guardian, who adopted the name of Wang Fu, met his first love Ming Hong and they had a son. The son had a daughter he named Mei. Now Mei was only a few weeks younger than Ra’s Al Ghul’s grandson, Damian. Now with an appropriate heir, and someone to procreate with said heir, Ra’s Al Ghul gained a special interest in the small Fu family that originally flew under the radar of the League. 

Now this is where things continue to go downhill, but not until much, much later in this story. Ra’s Al Ghul, despite his radical ambitions, was particularly good at playing the long game and understood when he couldn’t accomplish a task directly. This being said, he recognized that, due to prolonged exposure to the Lazarus Pits, his soul could not bear the strain of being a wielder of a miraculous and so he waited. Waited until a suitable heir was sired and could copulate with an heir to the guardian of the miraculous box, desiring to create a bloodline of genetically suitable successors and wielders who were loyal to him and his cause. 

Ra’s ordered for the Fu family to have a place on his court and ordered for Mei Fu to be trained in mastering the secrets of the miraculous. And master she did. By age 6 she was fluent in the coded language of the magical text, or as fluent a 6 year old can be in any language, and she had mastered 7 out the 17 miraculouses. By age 10 she was as skilled as the grandson of the Demon Head in combat and could handle simultaneous wear of 3 miraculouses. Her training, however, had to be put on hold as somebody thought usurping the Demon Head was of the utmost importance that glorious Tuesday and staged a coup. She wished Deathstroke had lost more than an eye that day, but a girl can dream she supposes. Mei and her grandfather were separated from the rest of the League and journeyed west. Somehow they ended up in Paris, France. After one too many run ins with the authorities, Mei was removed from her grandfather, who was deemed too unfit to support her. It was a miracle he wasn’t deported. 

Mei was put into protective custody where she resided until she was 13. Recently adopted, and thoroughly done with the plebeians of her daily encounters, Mei Fu became Marinette Dupain-Cheng, daughter of the best bakers in Paris. All was well and good for the new Dupain-Cheng until the start of the new school year. 

She met her grandfather again. And apparently he had a job for her and her soon to be new partner.

Hawkmoth, that bitch, had somehow acquired the two last surviving miraculouses and the only surviving grimoire and thought domestic terrorism was on the agenda for the next few years. Why? Because investing in a family therapist was too much of an inconvenience for local recluse, Gabriel McFucking Agreste, Marinette would shortly learn. 

After dealing with all of that and juggling between her reignited guardian training, and ‘normal’ girl life—because her parents don’t know that she’s a magical girl in the making—, Marinette was ready to sleep for a thousand years. Or commit murder. Whichever gave her enough serotonin to complete her current passion project. But, alas, no rest for the totally-over-it or however that saying goes. Because after declaring Paris safe once again, sending off her brother-in-arms, Adrien Agreste, to family in London (marginally decent but anything beats the abusive prick of a sperm donor), in waltz one drunken John Constantine.

Ah yes. Him. That absolute bastard who doesn’t deserve nice things in life. That guy.

This unpleasantry approached Master Fu and Marinette, who has been regulated to errand-girl in lieu of training, with a job that he proclaimed that only one blessed with magic, and specifically NOT connected to the Justice League could accomplish. Apparently, a group called the Cult of the Kobra resided on Santa Prisca and was in possession of a dangerous magical artifact that had been the backbone of their organization for years. Constantine came to them asking them for assistance in retrieving it as the Justice League could not interfere in the Caribbean due to new UN legislation. It was a mission of utmost urgency for he feared the cult leader, Kobra himself, was planning on enacting a ritual that could bring calamity to Earth. Which is just what the doctor ordered. Not. In exchange, he agreed to add to her magical training as while master Fu was good, he was still young when he ran away from his problems the first time and thus was limited in his magical knowledge.

That was three months ago. Three months of planning, training, and convincing her parents that letting her go on an extended retreat for an undetermined amount of time with her mostly absent biological grandfather was totally reasonable for the seventeen year old to do. Like, come on. She’s almost old enough to drink, almost ready for university and has been praised for her independence and self-sufficiency for years. She’ll be fine is what she told her parents and she was almost able to convince herself of that too. She would be perfectly fine. Right?

Wrong.

Marinette was anything but fine. She was stressed, she was tired and she was abso-fucking-lutely pissed at anything that even breathed in her direction. Why? Well that brings us back to the beginning of the story when everything on this mission did not go according to plan. So here she was along what was once upon a time the eastern coastline of Santa Prisca. Oh and look. The Junior Justice League has arrived.

Purrrrfect. 

Some one asked for a taglist. Ask and ye shall receive

@deathwishy @neakco  @ virtualreading  @f-rget-lt @your-resident-chicken-nugget

[hopeymchope]

Wonder Egg Priority finale thoughts

My Tumblr has a lot of anti-bully content, so it was probably no surprise when I began to watch and enjoy Wonder Egg Project this past spring. The series famously hit production delays that forced them to put out a mid-series recap episode, and that decision in turn forced them to push the final episode until late June. But now that the series (or at least season 1) is out there and complete, I thought I’d talk about how it all shook out in the end as well as the questions it left me sitting with.

For the uninitiated, here’s a bit of the context: Wonder Egg Project deals with four middle-school teen girls who’ve undergone hardships either at home or at school or both. They all lose someone they care about to tragic suicides, and then they discover the titular wonder eggs. They get these eggs from a vending machine and then, when they fall asleep, they enter a dreamworld where these eggs hatch to reveal a young person who recently committed suicide. For that night, it is the duty of the girl who got that egg to fight and defend that suicide victim from monstrous enemies that represent their abusers and oppressors. The girls are told that if they protect enough of these victims over many nights, they will be able to resurrect the specific person they lost to suicide. But of course, if you get injured or killed in the dreamworld, it affects your body in reality as well. 

The squad: Ai, Neiru, Rika, and Momoe.

Obviously, bullying is among the topics most frequently explored here, but we also deal with so many other terrible things that people might experience during childhood and adolescence. Physical, verbal, and sexual abuse are all on the table. Coming to terms with one’s gender identity is raised. It’s a show that manages to tackle a lot of heavy subjects through the lens of what’s essentially magical girl combat. I mean, there are no outfit transformations or any of that stuff, but still.

With THAT out of the way, let me talk about how the series wrapped up.

It’s clear to the viewers that there’s a lot that doesn’t make sense during the show — it’s intentionally very trippy and ethereal at times — and there’s also a lot that raises obvious questions even if you grasp it. Where do the eggs and their connection to the recently deceased come from? How do the psychological traumas of the various egg-children manifest as monsters that can literally kill you? What’s the deal with Acca and Ura-Acca and their freaky dummy bodies? What are they getting out of this whole deal with the eggs and the girls? What do the repeated references to the “temptation of death” mean? How does access to the Egg Garden even work? Is it really possible to resurrect their dead friends? Is Mr. Sawaki a predator or a chill guy or what? Why did Neiru’s sister stab her? And so on. 

The writers could’ve opted to keep things mysterious and hazy and metaphysical for the entire run or they could’ve provided lots of explanations and tried to ground this weird story in some sort of strange logic, but I’m actually pleased that they opted to go down the middle. There are answers for many things, but not for all. And when those answers come, they typically just raise more questions as well as doubts to their validity. 

SPOILERS for the finale/”special episode” below the cut.

So, obviously the answers for Acca and Ura-Acca are centered around Frill. Frill is this interesting fusion between the artificial and the organic; her body can be injured like any regular physical body, but she’s actually an A.I. on the inside. Acca and Ura-Acca are the exact reverse of this — they’re human minds inside of completely artificial bodies. Exactly how Frill started invading girls’ minds to lure them towards suicide is kept incredibly vague, but she serves as the embodiment of the “temptation of death” that was so-often referenced in the show. Frill doesn’t really appreciate life or care about the finality of death, making her a pretty natural foe for the heroes who have spent the entire series learning to appreciate their lives and bemoaning painful losses.

Can you even believe this bitch?

Acca and Ura-Acca also have documents talking about how warriors of Eros need to battle against Thanatos, the embodiment of death, but what’s that all about? We don’t really get into it. Is Frill somehow Thanatos herself? I mean... I guess maybe you could go that route, but I sincerely don’t think that’s meant to be the case. I assume she’s just another player in the game, and she happens to have taken Thanatos’ side in things. Her artificial existence and resentment of her fathers leads her to treat death flippantly. She was programmed to be selfish sometimes, and that selfishness has ultimately manifested itself in the worst possible ways. Intriguingly, we see Acca and Ura-Acca act similarly selfish in how they drive our four heroes to risk their lives just to battle Frill. Acca in particular shows that he’ll risk anyone’s life to get to Frill, who killed both his wife and daughter. But Acca never has to risk his own life. He’s just risking other people. Both sides of the equation are treating human lives like disposable pawns in some kind of war game. 

Y’all are SUPER-SKETCH.

It’s never really clear how these eggs work. We’re told that the Accas created the eggs, and honestly, I could’ve figured as much on my own. But they don’t try to explain how the eggs can contain the souls of suicide victims or how they manifest those people into dreams, and frankly, it’s probably better not to try.

I was really shocked that the girls actually manage to resurrect their dead friends. I was 100% certain that was going to be a scam and the point was going to be about learning to move on and live for the moment and appreciate those bonds while you had them, etc. And there is some of that. Alas, the price of resurrecting those people they care about is that the people in question no longer know them or remember them. That was pretty brutal... having our heroes nearly die over and over in service of people who ultimately will no longer care about them at all. Although they did the impossible and brought someone back to life, they had to lose those people all over again. I suppose this, like much fo the finale, emphasizes that we should appreciate our relationships while they last, because you can lose them for so many reasons. Regardless, I’m not surprised that Momoe just wanted to quit and avoid getting hurt after that. It’s understandable.

There’s a lot of discussion around parallels in the last two episodes. Parallel worlds with alternate versions of the self are raised multiple times, Ai gets an awesome encounter with a parallel version of herself that really brought her emotional journey to a head, and we even have to deal with a doppleganger of Neiru at the end. This leads to the revelation that Neiru looks exactly like her formerly deceased sister... a fact that presumably was part of what drove the sister to attack Neiru in the first place. Given that we’ve already been told that they were both genetically engineered, their identical appearances don’ seem that strange. But then the finale tells us that Neiru’s one dream is “to be human,” and suddenly the characters assume Neiru was an A.I. just like Frill. That... seems like a leap to me. I mean, she was genetically engineered to lead her company and never had a family of her own; no wonder she feels inhuman! So I’m not sure if I should take this at face value.

Neiru real or fake challenge

Another thing that I don’t think we can take at face value is Mr. Sawaki’s explanation of Koito’s death. In episode 12, we meet a parallel version of Ai who actually killed herself. The big boss monster for Ai to fight while protecting Alt-Ai? It’s a dark, abusive version of Sawaki. And our Ai inexplicably assumes this monster was made from her own fears. A very bizarre conclusion to jump to when you remember that every single boss monster has been the abuser of the victim that the girls were defending in that episode. By all available evidence, the Sawaki monster should be a parallel-world Sawaki who is very much exactly the scumbag he appears to be! Notice how Alt-Ai never says a damn word about the Sawaki Monster - never asks who he is or why he’s like this, etc? She’s not even surprised. That just lends further credence to my belief. FOLLOW THE EVIDENCE.

So in the finale, when our version of Mr. Sawaki claims (via a VERY awkwardly inserted voiceover) that Koito’s death was an accident after she tried to ruin his reputation because she fell in love with him, why should I believe any of it?! The previous episode introduced me to Abusive Sawaki! Sure, we don’t have any reason to assume our Sawaki is That Dick, but we JUST learned that he’s certainly capable. Furthermore, how could Koito suddenly be the ONLY accidental death among all of the available suicide victims in the dreamworld? She shouldn’t have even appeared there if it was just an accident! Although I’d like to believe that Sawaki was someone who Ai and the girls were jumping to conclusions about based on nothing... but it sure doesn’t look that way from here. And given how the show ends things, I fear we may have a hard time learning anything else about Sawaki. Ai changes schools and runs away, there is zero comment on what happened to Sawaki’s relationship with her mom... he’s just gone now.

As the final episode winds down, we see Rika and Ai fall back into bad habits, as they all treat Neiru just like they treated the girls they tried so hard to save. Rika acts disgusted by a friend and abandons her, treating Neiru the same way she treated Cheimi. When Neiru finally reaches out to Ai and calls her, Ai ignores the call and throws her phone away, thereby ignoring her friend’s needs in the same way she ignored Koito’s when she failed to record the bullying Koito was experiencing. You might even be able to connect Momoe’s choice to walk away for the sake of self-preservation to her decision to reject Haruka and walk away, honestly. And to compound the bad news that the show gives us near the end, we skip forward months to learn that Ai, Rika and Momoe have all drifted apart. Ai is in a new school, but we don’t see her with any new friends. She’s back where she started the show.

The difference, however, is that she doesn’t seem hopeless and lonely. She seems wistful, sure, but she never seems beaten down. She still treasures the friendships she built even if they wind up fading away. So there’s still a message in here about moving on, because even if you lose a person or a connection, it will forever matter.

*insert engine rev-up noises*

In the final moments, we see Ai preparing to run in the exact same pose she used back in episode 1 when she first stood up to the abusers within the dreamworld. This time, she runs to grab her chance to reunite with a dear friend. She takes charge of her own future and her own self-worth, somehow gets back into the Egg Garden (even though Rika wasn’t even allowed to enter after she rescued her specified victim, so uh... how did Ai get back in exactly... ?), and insists she’s going to use the eggs to see Neiru... even though the eggs only let you see the dead up to this point, so uh, that doesn’t really make any sense either. Consistency, motherfucker — DO YOU USE IT?

Amidst all the uncertainty that the finale left us with, at least we can see Ai find herself in a more confident place. She spends much of the series learning to stop running from her problems in the real world. Even after she gains confidence in the battles of her dreams, she struggles to face reality. It’s a huge step when she returns to school. Yet even in the very last episode, she opts to run away to a new school rather than cope with seeing Koito each day. But at last, she decides to take charge of her reality and try to reunite with her new best friend, Neiru. She’s wavered on her path, but ultimately, she’s grown. Although you could simultaneously argue that she’s failing to learn the lesson that rescuing Koito should’ve taught her...

“Ai Ohto is BACK!”

I don’t think any of us expected this finale to be a cliffhanger coming into it.  And unfortunately, we don’t know if there will ever be another season or a movie or anything. Given how people reacted to this finale with such overt hate, I really don’t expect anything more. And I think that would be a goddamn shame. Even with a finale that doesn’t quite stick the landing, I still found it fascinating and engaging. The series is more than worth the trip for the characters, for the themes and topics it explores, and even for the fluid action scenes and music. And this is a series that was made by first-time writers and a first-time director! Yet I’d easily call it one of the best animes from the past couple of years. For total newcomers, that’s a goddamn TRIUMPH.

So I hope we reunite with these girls again. I hope Ai manages to get the band back together, find out exactly what’s going on with Neiru, and face down Frill. Even if they never wind up in some ultimate battle with Thanatos, I don’t know that that’s the point. All of us are in a battle with Thanatos every single day, after all. They just need to show how they’ve all gotten stronger together and truly overcome the “Temptation of Death” by beating back Frill (and her ridiculously powerful dreamworld bug-people) as a unit. 

But maybe that’s too obvious and simplistic of a message for a show like this one. Maybe this complex ending centered on the main protagonist’s self-actualization and the value of fleeing relationships is more in keeping with the melancholy nature of the series. 

... I still really want to see the more obvious happy ending, though. I think they deserve it.

[cat--ann]

.flow

I just finished playing through .flow, so I think I’ll try to give my full thoughts and interpretations on a lot of I found and experienced in the game (in the form of a series of points, because my thoughts are scattered even at the best of times).

for now I will be just be tackling characters roughly in order of how relevant I believe them to be to Sabitsuki’s life and experiences, while I will talk about Sabitsuki (and, by extension, Rust) at a later time.

CHARACTERS: 

Black-Haired Girl / Onigo: Sabitsuki’s life began with a death. Specifically, the death of her mother. Onigo represents the very few things Sabitsuki both remembers about her mother (her distinctive long black hair and blue dress) and what she was told by the hospital staff (the fact that she died giving birth to Sabitsuki). The reason why she dies so often in the game itself (childbirth event, every time you encounter her as Rust) is because thats all Sabitsuki can relate her with. Sabitsuki also likely feels guilt in relation to "causing” her mother’s death, as she manifests the idea in the form of the incredibly visceral Childbirth Event. 

Oreko: Sabitsuki’s childhood friend, another child who either “lived” in the hospital like Sabitsuki or simply another kid who met Sabitsuki during a time she was in the hospital. Oreko would grow interested in technology and machines as she grew older, eventually becoming something of a mechanic/scientist (though Sabitsuki likely never exactly understood what Oreko’s machines were, which is probably was she internalized them as looking quite bizarre and scary). She also likely had a very big interest in the seas, explaining why she wears the divers helmet and why Sabitsuki associates her with the ocean. Oreko was Sabitsuki’s only companion in any sense throughout the majority of her life, someone who was there for Sabitsuki no matter how much abuse Sabi sustained from society or no matter how bad Sabi’s illness got. Unfortunately, Oreko’s life would eventually be cut short. Sabitsuki most likely never figured out how her best friend perished and was likely in denial about it for some time before making peace with it (Finding Oreko’s ghost requires interacting with her “alive” self a decent amount, and the area her specter is found in is relatively calm compared to most other areas containing significant characters). Oreko’s final appearance to Rust in deadhole could be the last remaining shred of “normal” Sabitsuki having one last memory of her best friend, before she disappears and only Rust remains.

School Girl/Kaibutsu Sabitsuki: Sabitsuki’s manifestation of what she once was/fears she could become again, the one who was harmed by and later took revenge on Smile and the one Sabitsuki is always running from to some extent. School was likely a very, very bad time for Sabitsuki on a personal level, possibly due to Oreko’s death (though there isn’t anything that really indicates when Oreko’s death happened in relation to Sabitsuki’s life so it could be for any currently unknown reason). Kaibutsu Sabitsuki is what Sabitsuki remembers herself as during that time: a violent monster who hurt the only person Sabitsuki was even remotely close to at the time.

Smile: Though Smile is obviously a very significant person in Sabitsuki’s life, exactly what their relationship was and Smile’s history in general is very vague. His appearance in Disposal is likely a representation of his first meeting with Sabitsuki, as he isn’t wearing his usual outfit and lacks his tattoos (their appearance while as Rust may just be because Rust always sees Smile as his “true” self) and seems to react to Sabitsuki’s presence with mild confusion more then anything else. They later met properly during school, where by this point Smile had gained his tattoos and they obviously had formed a relationship of some sort (whether it was just an acquaintanceship, a friendship, or something more significant isn’t exactly clear but Smile was at least comfortable enough around Sabitsuki to have her visit his house and meet his sister). Unfortunately, their ambiguous relationship didn’t last. Sabitsuki’s corrupted school event shows what I believe is likely the end of their relationship and the last time they ever interacted with eachother. For one reason or another, and I suspect the cause was likely Sabitsuki herself, Smile attacked Sabi in the basement of the school. On a personal level, Sabitsuki likely viewed this as an injustice against herself (even if Smile was likely only doing what had to be done) which is why Rust later imagines herself getting revenge against the boy.

The Cleaners: The Cleaners are people who “clean up” (i.e. kill) those with the illness Sabitsuki suffers from. At some point in the past, they massacred the residents of the hospital Sabitsuki was staying in (as seen in 0.16) but left her alive for whatever reason, taking her away to live an actual life beyond the hospital walls. Why they spared Sabitsuki specifically isn’t something I can explain really, but its possible she was simply much less far along in her illness compared to the others and had the potential to be “saved”. Sabitsuki likely doesn’t view the Cleaners as a threat or “enemies” as it were and rather seems fairly neutral about them despite understanding what they do on some level (as seen by obtaining the limbless effect from one’s chainsaw). The Cleaners also had a second purpose asides from their main directive: working at the Sugar Hole (or whatever its “real” equivalent may be). Given Sabitsuki’s fondness of the place (it being one of very few areas in .flow that aren’t directly threatening or foreboding in some way), its possible The Cleaners brought her to the Sugar Hole shortly after leaving the Hospital with Sabi.

The Girl In The Yellow Dress: Buried far in Sabitsuki’s subconscious are the few memories focused on a mysterious girl known only for her faded, dirty yellow dress. Though not strictly always buried far beneath (being seen in Deterioration very easily while smoking in the hall) and never reacting to Sabi’s presence, she is clearly someone Sabitsuki lost tragically and has done her best to bury all the remaining memories of. So, who is this girl? Though my theory is abit shakier thanks to just how vague a character she is, I believe the Yellow Dress Girl to have been a sex worker who briefly acted as Sabitsuki’s caretaker before she somehow met her end. Maybe through knowing the Cleaners somehow or just being in the right place at the right time, this girl ended up as the guardian to a young Sabitsuki. Working as a prostitute (either already her job or something she took up to support Sabitsuki), the young Sabitsuki grew to genuinely appreciate this girl as a motherly figure and they briefly shared a legitimately nice life together (as seen in the “sugar float days” event). However, it didn’t last, and thanks to the darker side of her job creeping up and taking over her life, the Yellow Dress Girl ended up separated from Sabitsuki and possibly even dead. Sabitsuki, unable to properly deal with the trauma of losing someone who did so much for her and she held so dearly, repressed the memories of her and pushed the Yellow Dress Girl into the furthest points of her mind, where memories of the good times were fleeting and brief while memories of the end lingered unchanging.

Little Sabitsuki: Little Sabitsuki is fairly self-explanatory: she represents how Sabitsuki remembers herself as a child, either weak and bedridden (hospital), or lost and forgotten (snow world). Little Sabi’s condition worsening as regular Sabitsuki’s does could represent just how sick Sabi truly believes she is, unable to see even her past self as anything but diseased and broken. Sabitsuki never got to experience a “proper” childhood, she has no memories beyond the hospital, the overgrown halls, and the cold.

The Inner Demon: Underneath it all, this is how Sabitsuki truly sees herself. A bloody, diseased demon who exists only to cause suffering to both the world and people around her, aswell as her self. A manifestation of all of Sabitsuki’s sins and wrongdoings in the form of a dark mirror, buried so far deep within Sabitsuki’s subconscious the idea of confronting it leads Sabi to vomit her own blood in anxiety and terror. Only once Sabitsuki sheds her sense of self and becomes Rust can she properly confront her demon. The years and years of self-loathing building up from her birth, to her disease, to the loss of her friends, to the loss of control, to the loss of her self, leads Rust to perform a metaphorical suicide as she beats the demon to death as the final action taken in her own subconscious.

Kaibutsu: What Sabitsuki fears she will become should her illness completely take over. They take the form of grown-up versions of her fellow children at the hospital, possibly meaning that she believes all of them would be doomed to become a Kaibutsu, or perhaps that she saw multiple children become Kaibutsu at the hospital.

Fetuses: Sabitsuki’s physical manifestation of her illness, only appearing by the time Rust takes over (as while Sabitsuki rejects and is terrified of the illness, Rust embraces it).

Takibi-san: A homeless girl Sabitsuki spent a small amount of time around after leaving the hospital. Sabi mostly remembers her thanks to Takibi’s distinctive pink hair, a very uncommon trait in .flow’s world.

While this is all for now, I do plan to do a similar analysis for Sabitsuki and Rust. If that goes well enough and I still feel up to it afterwards, I will do another two analysises for the maps and the effects.

[chyouxart]

I thought the idea of an Omori game x Professor Layton, especially x Clive, was interesting so I wanted to expound on it a bit here (under the cut for Omori/UF spoilers)

Clive’s SOMETHING would be a nebulous ghostly shape of both his parents whom he’d watched die in the fire, probably something that looks like the photo of them standing together in the UF credits but blacked out and conjoined. Clive didn’t kill them but he’d certainly have a survivor’s guilt severe enough to cause them to manifest, especially when everything is about to culminate at the end of UF

Clive’s dream world would involve memories of him with his parents. Since Clive idolises the Professor so much, this world would also include fantasies of the Professor joining him and his parents on whatever adventure they’re on 

His fear-based battles (like the stairs, spiders and deep sea for Sunny) would be fire and probably the entire house burning down. Maybe even a monstrous form of the prime minister once he realises what happened. If he were to go the Hikikomori route and repress these fears like Sunny in the Lost Library, he’d gain skills like ‘Asphyxiate’ from how the smoke and fire had burned his eyes, scarred his throat, penetrated his lungs and ultimately took his parents’ lives; ‘Annihilate’ for how he’d watched his house burn and fall in upon itself, throwing up a torrent of sparks that carved the dark sky with blood-red scars; and ‘Manipulate’ for how the prime minister had used his political power, riches and those under him to cover up the incident and the murders along with it. Maybe even a fourth fear of time due to the time machine incident + feeling like time is always running out

A sort of stage system in the dream world that involves young Clive, teen Clive, Clive as a reporter and Future Luke Clive and I’d like to add on that, like with Sunny having to face his fears in the real world before he can venture further in the dream world, Clive must also face his fears in the real world to advance to these next stages in dream world. In the real world, this would all take place probably in Future London, but in dream world, this would be young Clive confronting fire directly, teen Clive confronting the further away but still overbearing fear of his flat burning down, reporter Clive confronting the prime minister (and at this point in the real world, Clive might have become more confident around the prime minister. Maybe before he would avoid him and let Dmitri deal with him, but once it comes time for him to face this fear, he confronts the kidnapped PM and actually becomes smug and maybe a little sadistic as he recounts his plan for revenge to the PM) and Future Luke faces the fear of time

In the dream world, instead of Clive’s parents joining him on his adventures, maybe, like what Sunny does with Mari, Clive leaves his parents in a safe area where they can never be hurt again and then ventures off on his own. With the advancement system above, maybe he starts off alone, but then the more he expands his dream world and faces his fears, the more he’s joined by others, first the Professor, then a friend from his teen years, then maybe a reporter friend, then Luke?

There could be a good ending in which the professor is able to talk Clive out of his plans before he activates the mobile fortress.and Clive accepts what happened and the SOMETHING of his parents disappears, and a bad end in which his SOMETHING, always present, drives him to destroy London

Maybe Clive also nicknames his dream world self. Omori in the actually series has tons of different interpretations (The kanji for Omori means ‘weight’ or ‘burden’, it can be the other half of the word ‘hikikomori’, memento mori, etc) so not sure what Clive might nickname his dream self but it’s an interesting idea

During the good ending, everything culminates at the Thames Arms like the regular ending of UF, but Clive must enter dream world and fight his dream self. Maybe this fight is even tiered like how Omori’s fight is, but he’s fighting all the different stages of himself, first young Clive, then teen Clive, reporter Clive, and last his Future Luke persona. Each of them would also have abusive phrases they’d say to Clive as he’s fighting them like in Omori. Maybe ‘You let them burn’ etc

TW/// suicide. The true route is initiated by Clive sending the letter to Professor Layton to invite him to Future London. Within this route, like with Sunny accepting the truth and committing suicide, Clive could accept the truth but commit suicide before explaining it to Layton (maybe in this AU, and in this route exclusively, rather than the Prof expositioning what had happened to Clive, Clive’s the one to tell everyone). The true good ending involves him explaining what had happened to him to Layton and Layton talking him down from carrying out his revenge. The hikikormori route is initiated by not sending the letter (and the professor maybe finds his way there on his own somehow?) The other suicide like in the Omori hikikomori route can also happen in which Clive activates the fortress and destroys it before Layton can stop him, killing Clive as well as everyone else and London. There could also be another ending in which Claire doesn’t save Clive, maybe initiated by Clive also not inviting Claire to Future London

INSTEAD OF BUNNIES, CLIVE’S DREAM WORLD HAS SNAIL ENEMIES

Plenty of others I have to figure out, like Clive’s entire adoption (maybe he’s also just afraid of death itself due to losing his parents and Constance?) but I’ll leave it here for now. Hope yall enjoyed!

[tuiyla]

So I finally watched The Owl House

I wish I’d do this with every show I watch but it seems like only a lucky few get the She-Ra style rant of love treatment. Well, I finally watched The Owl House after my dash having been flooded for the past couple of weeks and I have some thoughts. Slight spoilers below.

First off, I love the whole vibe. I had a faint idea that this show would be about magic but I didn’t know much before watching - except for one thing, we’ll get back to that. The way it builds its world and deals with magic, though, is so refreshing. And I just have to mention here that I laughed out loud at all the Harry Potter jabs, they were hilarious. I expect we’ll learn much more about magic and its users as the show goes on but as far as the first season goes the introduction was really solid. It strikes the right balance between leaving things to the imagination but being more than “wave wand and magic happens”. It’s colourful, it’s creative, and I even like the ovens and school tracks, despite knowing that the story is about not conforming to those. It makes the Boiling Isles unique and make me want to learn more about the world even beyond the characters and the main plot.

TOH also presents a world that’s much more macabre than I was expecting from the Disney Channel, not that that’s a bad thing. I found myself thinking of Adventure Time at certain points and pondering, at scary moments, how kids would react. I think kids love this, though, and besides, nothing can be more scarring than Courage the Cowardly Dog was. It’s not that terrifying, of course, just daring enough to stand out. Overall the show has what I would classify as more of a Cartoon Network vibe than a Disney Channel one, but I admittedly haven’t really been following many Disney shows. In any case, I dig it. I dig the weird creatures and the beautiful backgrounds and I appreciate how alive the Boiling Isles feel. It doesn’t take long for TOH to immerse you in its world so I’m for one am hooked.

I make a big deal of loving the world itself because rarely does it happen that world-building stands out to me so soon in a series. I do love carefully constructed fantasy worlds but for the most part I’m more interested in the characters themselves. Here, I’d say it’s close to being a 50-50, which is something that even Avatar can’t say with its elemental masterclass in world-building (which is mostly because the character depth there is unrivaled but still). So yeah, kudos to The Owl House for achieving this. From Luz’s glyph magic to the covens and the titans, I’m excited to explore this world more.

Now, the characters. The real meat of any story. Starting with Luz, I have seen some criticism that she’s a generic hero so far, the “I’m a weirdo”, heart of gold, upbeat variety. I don’t think this makes her bland, though I do admit that being told over and over again that she’s weird makes me less engaged, even she’s also shown to be weird. I like the message of her arc and that the chosen one trope was deconstructed almost right away. I like that she’s relentlessly enthusiastic and kind to people and I like that she doesn’t have to get more bitter in order to get development. Instead, she learns from her mistakes but keeps being herself and brings her unique spirit to the Boiling Isles. We need protagonists like Luz, not just because she’s latina and bisexual but because her learning process doesn’t involve cynicism. Sure, there is a lot she needs to learn but her heart is presented as an asset and a sort of source of magic. I’m excited to see where her story goes, for sure.

I’m gonna write briefly about the other characters before I get to my favourite one. Eda is super cool and I quickly got over the fact that she’s not Beatrice Horseman, lol. She embodies such a youthful energy but the show also allows her to be a middle-aged woman comfortable in her own body - well, owl curse notwithstanding. Also, her relationship with Lilith is one of my favourite parts of the whole show. Eda subverts so many of the mentor’s traditional tropes and I’m here for it. I kinda thought she was the villain based on her design and when I didn’t know anything about the show but hey, happy she’s not.

I don’t think I’d even seen a picture of King before starting to watch the series and at first I thought I’d get tired of him real quick. He’s the type of character who can get really annoying instead of endearing really fast if he’s not given any depth or charm, both by way of writing and voice acting. Luckily, I ended up liking King and his antics. His design is indeed adorable and Alex Hirsch is a genius. The only time I felt like he went too far was, perhaps surprisingly, in the book writing episode, “Sense and Insensitivity”, but even there going too far was the point. So yeah, King’s also great, there’s much potential in his backstory and general character.

Alright so really quickly, other characters: Willow and Gus are generic best friend characters and though they already have other things going on, I expect more development as the series progresses. I like that Willow is actually super powerful, just not in the way people expected her to and Gus is clearly also talented despite being younger. I’d be happy to see more of the other kids, get more familiar with Hexside. Edric and Emira are fun characters but they were really shitty in their first episode so I was kind of surprised they weren’t more of a nuisance to Amity later on. I’m all for supportive siblings so I wouldn’t mind a good relationship between the three but I feel like it’s more complicated than that with the Blights.

Finally, I also have to mention that Hooty is... well, quite something, isn’t he. Much like with King, I thought he’d be much more annoying but somehow the show is self-aware enough that it makes Hooty tolerable. I’m almost always torn between feeling sorry for him and being thoroughly weirded out, and I think that’s the intention? It’s fitting that he’s the titular character as he embodies the tone of The Owl House well in my eyes. He’s there for the comedy but there’s just enough there to hint at something more. Very bizarre, strong CN vibes, here for it.

Now that I’ve written a paragraph more about Hooty than I expected to, let’s talk about Amity. Listen, no other character stood a chance to be my favourite as soon as I learned Mae Whitman voiced Amity. That woman gave me Katara so now I have a quasi Pavlovian response to her voice. I’d also say that I knew more about Amity going into the show than I did about any other aspect of TOH. I heard somewhere that she started out as an antagonist, I knew her parents were abusive, and the reason the show blew up on my dash and my general online bubble is the Grom episode. Lucikly I only saw stills of Lumity beneath the crescent moon but the pure Sapphic energy of that was enough to gay migrate me to this show. I’d like to note it here though that The Owl House is a good show in and of itself, the queer rep is just a nice extra. I’m gonna spend the next couple hundred words going on about Amity and her crush on Luz but I don’t value only that. The Gay Migration is great and rep is great but I’m also grateful to have a solid show behind it. That being said.

I’m a total dyke for Amity Blight. I was very biased before even being introduced to her character but I genuinely find her to be fascinating and she has great potential. She’s developing quite quickly, like much of The Owl House, but an arc not being stretched out for several seasons before getting a rushed conclusion is refreshing. The progress hits all the beats and the only note I have is that I want more. She starts out as a generic bully but the opportunity to be more is there from the beginning. We find out early on that she used to be friends with Willow, we see that she works hard and values honest work. When she becomes Luz’s rival, it doesn’t last long before Amity shows that she’s open to new perspectives. That’s not to defend or even justify her earlier and nastier moments, Amity was rude to both Luz and Willow. But through all that, she becomes a complex character who does bad things but isn’t a bad person and grows when she gets the space to. I think that’s neat.

Luz’s decision to befriend her might be cartoon logic but as someone who subscribes to the “kill them with kindness” ideology, I can totally relate. Amity’s softer side doesn’t take long to show and “Lost in Language” is such a great episode to show how complex people can be. Again, I was already biased when it came to Amity but she’s consistently shown to be capable of self-reflection and growth when others give her the chance. I think her past and potential future friendship with Willow is a great way to explore many different topics and I’m trusting the show to do it justice. I also can’t wait to meet the rest of the Blights, if only to get me some angst and further develop Amity. I half expected Grom to take the form of her parents. Too dark for Disney? Well, we don’t know Amity’s dynamic with her parents, exactly, but there’s so much subtext and potential. I love what we’ve already seen from her but I’d also say that she has one of the greatest potentials in the show.

Another way in which this potential manifests is Lumity, of course. Again, they’re developing quite quickly but that doesn’t mean it’s rushed. I’d love to explore Amity’s crush more and what Luz means to her. The Grom episode surpassed all expectations, still and gifs don’t do the stunning dance sequence justice. The animation is so smooth, the colours are amazing, the music is on point and the Sapphic vibes complete the picture. Poetic cinema, truly. Molly Ostertag and Noelle Stevenson are really out there giving wlw animation fans everything we ever wanted, huh. It also warms my heart that the crush is made very clear, not just by Luz’s name being on the note but by the delightful gay disaster that is Amity in “Wing It Like Witches”. I never thought I’d ever see such a relatable useless lesbian in animation so kudos to Dana Terrace and the whole crew. Wow, how far we’ve come.

So yeah, Amity is a funky little lesbian and I’m a 100% here for her gay disaster moments, but I also love where Lumity is going thematically. They’re great as foils and I’m hoping that they won’t get together at the very end. Look, I love me some Bubbline, Korrasami and Catradora, but it’s time a wlw relationship had the chance to exist onscreen and not only in the last episode. The Owl House has a great chance to do that. I know the creators don’t want romance to be the main focus and I respect that, I think the world they created deserves to showcased and explored to its full potential. Lumity could be a great subplot though, as representation on the one hand and as a thematically interesting dynamic on the other. Plus, Luz and Amity are just cute and sometimes, it’s as simple as that. Oh, and also the whole Little Miss Perfect thing? One of the best fandom discoveries I’ve made in a long while. Not only is the song truly perfect for Amity, I love that Joriah Kwamé went on to write Ordinary as well. This right here is why fandom is beautiful.

I think that’s about it for season 1 initial thoughts. The moral can be a bit on the nose at times, especially in the early episodes but the show is ultimately for kids and I appreciate its message. Interesting world and magic system, good characters, great potential for later seasons, just a well put together show that I’m really glad I started watching. I’m kind of sorry I didn’t keep up with season 1 as it was coming out but I would not have been able to wait between episodes. The pacing is good overall, deffo moves fast but I wouldn’t call it rushed, and the “filler” episodes still add something to the story. I’m not sure if I would still feel like the show moves at a fast pace if I hadn’t binged it but in any case it isn’t rushed, the necessary beats are all there and have time to sit. I’m going to watch as it comes out from now on so hopefully season 2 will arrive early next year.

Oh, and: I’m very new to the fandom, barely just found out about Little Miss Perfect, so any and all tidbits, fun facts, and fic recommendations are welcome. Also if you just want to chat my inbox is always open!

[jilytho]

Fools in Uber Pools Ch 4

Hello!! Here is the 4th and final part of my Uber fic! Thank you to everyone who has read and said so many lovely things I appreciate you all! 

Read Ch 4 below or on AO3 or read from the beginning here

**Wednesday, November 11th 8:52PM **

Your Uber Pool is arriving. Please meet your driver, Leonardo, at the predetermined pick up location. 

Wednesday night was Lad’s Night. Tradition. Food and beer and movies and the occasional board game. Then, Remus and Sirius got together which was fantastic. So exciting, true love and joy and pure happiness for his two best friends in the world. Consequential to their happiness, however, meant that James’s beloved Lad’s Nights frequently became him crashing Date Night. Even though they did their best to keep his third wheeling to a minimum and keep it Lad’s Night, it frequently became Lad’s plus a lot of PDA. Tonight was one of those nights.

Sirius picked a horror flick just for an excuse to dump popcorn on James’s head during jump scares and to curl up on top of Remus. James had plenty of practice ignoring their canoodling but apparently they were feeling especially noodley tonight, nonstop noodley really. 

Remus had made it clear that he would drive the both of them home that night but each passing minute made it more and more clear that Sirius would be spending the night and James had the option of sleeping on the couch or Ubering himself out of there. Once Sirius flung his shirt and jeans off and onto James’s head in one motion about three quarters of the way through the movie, he settled on calling his second Uber of the day.

Not only his second of the day, but his ninth of the week simply because James is pathetic. He knows this, he feels this, and anyone who looked at his Uber ride history could prove it. But he couldn't help himself. How was he supposed to deal with the fact that he had met possibly the most amazing woman in the world and then he just stood there and watched her drive away. Correction, slammed the door in her face and then watched her drive away. 

Half of him wanted to just go stand outside of the building they had dropped her off at that first Uber trip and just pray she actually lives there and he could stage a run in, but he felt that was likely to get him a restraining order instead of a girlfriend. 

He stopped himself from doing that (barely) but wasn’t able to stop himself from taking an Uber every day since then. Pathetically paying for a $10.60 Uber ride to work, and then another to go to lunch, and then another to get to the coffee shop closest to that apartment they had dropped her off at, and just one around the block. But no. No Lily. Not even any other passengers except for that very morning when a lady rode with him to the bookstore holding a very large lizard on her lap. 

Lizard Lady was the final blow that pushed him back to reality and to take Uber’s strictly out of necessity, instead of desperation. 

And as much as he loved Sirius and Remus, and loved them being happy, seeing them so happy was certainly a desperate situation. 

He jumped in place on the sidewalk, running his hands together for warmth waiting for Leonardo and his SUV to pull up and looking over his shoulder, still on edge from the horror flick. 

The car pulled up and before James could approach the driver and check for his name, the backseat window came down and a smirking red head was peering out of it. Suddenly the whole night began to look up. 

“Well, look who it is!”

“Lily! It's you! Again!”

“James, it's me! Again!” His entire chest felt bubbly as she slid across the seats so he could come in next to her and watched her smile nearly match his in excitement. He said hello to Leonardo passingly, all without taking his eyes off of Lily, sliding in as close as he could without being considered publicly indecent.

“Wow, of course you would be here right now.” She shook her head admonishingly, leaning back and rubbing at her eyes with her hands. 

“What’s that mean? You manifesting my presence?”

“You wish, Breakfast Boy.” She poked him in the arm, “I’ve just had the worst night ever and was just thinking I needed ice cream or something equally as yummy to cheer me up.”

“So I’m yummy, am I?” His grin split his face wide open, those bubbles in his chest started to feel more like roaring lions now.

“Mmm, something like that. Maybe yummy isn’t the right word. Dashing, handsome, half decent car ride entertainment. Dealer’s choice, honestly.”

“I think I’ll stick with yummy, but really love to hear more about this whole ‘dashing’ thing. Is that like a Prince Charming vibe? That’s really the one I’ve been trying to put out. Prince Charming could make a better nickname than Breakfast Boy.”

“Please, much more like a hungover bumbling idiot than a Prince Charming, don’t you think?.”

“The abuse! I swear, you sign up for an Uber pool, count your blessings that you’ve been lucky enough to ride along with the most stunning redhead in this half the hemisphere not once, but three times, only to find that she’s five feet of beratement and insults.” He leaned back in his seat, mockingly shaking his head.

“Only in this half of the hemisphere? What stunning redheads does Antarctica have to offer?” 

“I’ve never been to the southern hemisphere, I just feel I can’t accurately make a statement about the redheads there. Happy to pop down south for a few days to get some proper research. I’m sure after proper investigation you will be conclusively proven to be the most stunning redhead in both halves of the hemisphere.” 

“Quite the pragmatic answer. I appreciate your commitment to well researched compliments. Truly, the dedication is admirable. Unnecessary though, I feel validated enough. I’ll just stick to this half of the hemisphere to avoid any possibility of losing my title.”

“Probably smart. Wouldn’t want to pop down and come back to find Ed Sheeran has gotten a six pack and has overtaken your spot.”

“Excuse me,” her jaw dropped lightly, “you think all Ed Sheeran would need is a six pack to magically become more attractive than me?”

“Lily, look. I didn’t want to insult you and please don’t mistake me, you’re perfect in literally every single way, like designed by the Gods perfect. But Ed Sheeran is a ginger that can sing and plays multiple instruments. And again, goddess that you are, are you really telling me you can top that?”

“Never in my life have I been so confused if I should be flattered or disgusted.”

“Lily?” Leonardo was turned around to face them. “We’re here.” James whipped around to see they had somehow ended up in front of the same apartment building they had dropped her off the first time. He had barely noticed they started moving, nevermind stopped moving to pull in front of her destination. 

His heart sank as he watched her gather her belongings and unbuckle her seat belt. Who knows when the next time they’d take an Uber together would be. He might not see her for days, or weeks, or God forbid never. 

“Lily, wait!” He blurted the words out, not even slightly knowing what he’d say next. 

Green eyes snapped to his, one hand on the door handle prepared to swing out of the car. 

“Yes, James?”

“CanwegoforanUbertogethernexttime?”

“I’m sorry, James, what was that?” Lily’s eyes wide and mildly concerned. Even Leonardo was turned around looking at him like he had just pulled the pin out of a grenade and suggested they all sit around and watch it explode from real closeup.

“What if,” he worked to speak slowly, feeling his entire face flush scarlet, “the next time we take an Uber together, we get out at the same place.” 

“Like a carpool?” Her eyebrow rose up slowly, corner of her mouth sliding up.

“Like go somewhere. Like go somewhere together, like get in the same car on purpose. And then get out at the same time and go somewhere. Like dinner.”

“You want to get a ride to dinner together?” She was fucking with him. Of course, she couldn’t make this easy when his entire body was turning red. 

“Yeah, erm dinner as like a date, if that’s not super weird or doesn’t make you uncomfortable.” Her grin didn’t slip, and he felt his whole body tense and the rambles coming on, “like get a ride to go to dinner together but like at the same time. And then eat together. And get a ride home. But maybe not home together. Because erm first date and I wouldn’t want to pressure or be too forward. So just dinner. Like a dinner date. Or a coffee date, if that would be okay. Of course not if you’re uncomfortable or think I’m being insane but I think you’re fun and I have fun in the car with you and I think we could have even more fun if it was a meeting on purpose and I’m going to stop talking but Lily, will you go out with me?” His voice rose dramatically to the end until he was practically shouting at her.

“Yes, James.” He felt his entire body let go and those lions started to fire up again,.“Yes, I would love to go out with you. Been waiting for you to ask actually.”

He very suddenly felt like the Uber could run over him and he wouldn’t even feel it. “You should have said!”

She swung the door open and stepped out, looking down at him, red hair swinging around her shoulders. “It wasn’t like I was being subtle. You’re just entirely too thick to pick up on signals. But yes, I would love to go out with you James.”

“Brilliant! Fantastic! We’ll do that then.” He smiled brilliantly, cheeks beginning to hurt.

“You know,” Lily leaned back into the car to whisper, “this is usually the time where a normal bloke would ask for my phone number. You know, so we could set this up later and let Leonardo get on with his evening,” she looked pointedly towards Leonardo who was, watching them both with a mixture of exasperation and amusement. 

“Right! Sorry, Leonardo.” He ran a hand through his hair sheepishly. “Could you please put me out my misery and let me have your number?” he begged.

“Lucky for you,” she dug around in her massive bag once more, “I came prepared. Been prepared actually since our first ride together.” She slid a slip of paper with a number, her number(!), across the seat and into his hand. 

“Use it and let poor Leo go home, alright?” She smiled one last time and slammed the door. 

He sat back in his chair, dazed and overwhelmed, and disgustingly pleased with himself.

“Sorry about that, Leonardo.”

“No worries mate.” He pulled away from the curb slowly, winking at James in the mirror. “Wasn’t expecting her to agree if I’m being honest. Good for you, mate.”

Damn right, good for him. 

[immortalmoxuanyu]

A Gentleman’s Wager

Wei Wuxian thought it was unfair to expect someone to be smart all the time. He knew he was smart, and that wasn’t him bragging. He had to be clever in order to survive.

 It followed that if he needed to be smart to survive hard times, that in times of peace he didn’t need to be smart and crafty all the time.

That’s what he was telling himself anyway. It was the only excuse for why it took him so long to figure it out.

The thing is, at first he thought it was just his subconscious’s way of dealing with being in a new body and coming back from the dead. Both of those things were decidedly weird and if his sleeping mind responded with something weird, well. It was only a problem when he was sleeping, and it was much, much better than his usual dreams. He would take a light scolding from Mo Xuanyu over reliving the deaths of his loved ones any day.

 The first dream, which he had on his way to Dafan mountain, went something like this:

“Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian,” cried a voice that was both familiar and strange all at once. He couldn’t see the source, because the space that he was in was pitch dark. It didn’t seem to be a cave though, which was nice. Nothing good came of cave dreams.

“Wei Wuxian, you traitor,” the voice accused, drawing his attention back to the ‘present’.

Wei Wuxian, being himself, just raised his hands in surrender and said, “Who is it I’m accused of betraying this time?”

A figure stepped into view, easy to see even though there was still no light in this place. He was mildly familiar, in that his face was the one Wei Wuxian saw looking back at him when he caught a glimpse of his reflection.

 Well. That made sense then.

 “Hello,” Wei Wuxian said with a little wave. He was trying for friendly.

 Mo Xuanyu glowered at him. “Wei Wuxian, you bastard. You were supposed to get revenge for me,” he spat.

 Wei Wuxian pursed his lips thoughtfully. “I revealed how they abused you, publicly shamed them, and then caused their death, sort of. Is that not enough?”

“No,” Mo Xuanyu cried. “If I’d just wanted them dead I’d have found a way to poison them. You were supposed to make them suffer,” he said, stepping closer to shove at Wei Wuxian’s shoulders.

 Shaking his head side to side as he considered, Wei Wuxian eventually responded with. “Fair enough.”

Mo Xuanyu was not mollified. “Fair enough?” he began to rant. “You utterly fail the only task for which you are back on this earth and all you have to say is ‘fair enough?’” He shook Wei Wuxian again. Or tried to, anyway. Even in a dream, Mo Xuanyu was not very strong.

“Yep. I don’t know what else you want from me. An apology maybe?” Wei Wuxian replied with his usual flippancy. He stepped back and out of Mo Xuanyu’s reach.

“I don’t want an apology. I want you to get it right next time,” Mo Xuanyu said. “I want to you make him suffer. I want him to lose everything he holds dear. I want you to make him pay .” He raved.

 Wei Wuxian nodded. “I’ll do my best,” he placated. “I don’t suppose you could give me any insight on who you want me to punish?”

 Mo Xuanyu just glowered at him. “If you can’t figure it out you’re even dumber than you act. Some mad genius you are, Yiling Patriarch,” he snapped. He turned and stormed back into the darkness and the dream ended, quickly replaced by something less pleasant.

Upon waking up from that, the conclusion Wei Wuxian came to was that the Mo Xuanyu in his dreams was a manifestation of his guilt at having benefited from a troubled young man’s suicide. Having been a troubled young man himself once… it didn’t feel right.

Asking dream Mo Xuanyu about the identity of the final cut was silly, though. A figment in a dream couldn’t know anything that Wei Wuxian himself didn’t know, right?

 Mo Xuanyu showed up frequently in his dreams after that. He provided some commentary on Wei Wuxian’s nightmares that he could have done without, but he also somehow managed to just. Change what Wei Wuxian was dreaming about. Usually to something about Lan Zhan. At the time he thought that his subconscious was not being very subtle in trying to make him confront his feelings.

The ‘dream’ of Mo Xuanyu got less and less hostile over time. Wei Wuxian thought he and Mo Xuanyu could have been good friends if things had turned out differently. He was bitter and sarcastic, but still witty and perceptive.

 It took him until they were on their way to Guanyin Temple for him to figure out that Mo Xuanyu was not a dream at all. Later, he would be annoyed that this ghost hadn’t bothered to give him any hints as to who the culprit was, but at that point, he was entirely too busy with other things to confront the matter.

 After the events at the temple, Mo Xuanyu was silent. Wei Wuxian had      hoped this meant Mo Xuanyu had moved on. He was sure the Jin Guangyao thought that what had happened there was the worst thing that could have possibly happened to him. Surely that would be enough to appease Mo Xuanyu’s vengeful spirit. The curse thought it was enough, at least.

He might miss Mo Xuanyu, a little bit. When he wasn’t angry, he was fun to talk to, and their conversations kept his less pleasant dreams at bay. Still, if anyone deserved to be able to move on to the next life, it was A-Yu. Wei Wuxian just hoped that whatever had gone wrong in the spell would allow for it.

 ----------------------

Saying goodbye to Lan Zhan again was probably the hardest thing Wei Wuxian had done since he returned to the world of the living. He was sure their separation wouldn’t last forever. Probably.

It was just that Lan Zhan was chief cultivator now. Wei Wuxian knew that his Lan Zhan would uphold his vow to protect the weak and uphold justice. He didn’t need someone like Wei Wuxian getting in his way, didn’t need Wei Wuxian’s still dreadful reputation hanging over him like a cloud of resentful energy.

Wei Wuxian understood why Lan Zhan had not asked him to stay this time (even though this is the one time he might have been tempted to say yes). That didn’t stop it from hurting deep and cutting. It felt a lot like the wounds Mo Xuanyu had left behind on his body, but this time there was no clear path on how to fix it, no revenge to pursue. There was no one to blame but himself.

 Becoming a rogue cultivator seemed like the best thing to do with himself for the time being. He really did need to work on this body’s cultivation, for one thing. For another, it was nice to do something to help the common people. There were many problems in the world that were small enough that the big cultivation sects couldn’t be bothered to assist with. (And, a small, selfish part of him added, if he could become someone who was known for doing good things, maybe his reputation would become good enough to allow him to return to his Lan Zhan’s side).

 Wei Wuxian was completely content with this turn of events, he told himself.

 Mo Xuanyu was not.

The same night that Wei Wuxian parted ways with Lan Zhan, Mo Xuanyu reappeared, nearly as angry as he had been in that first dream.

“Wei Wuxian, what the fuck?” he shouted. They were back in the dark shadowy place, where he assumed Mo Xuanyu’s spirit resided.

“Uh, hello A-Yu. I thought you’d moved on,” was all Wei Wuxian could say to that. He raised his hands in surrender once more.  

“Don’t you ‘A-Yu’ me. How am I supposed to move on when you’re fucking things up?” Mo Xuanyu said, narrowing his eyes.

 “Easily. I’m not fucking anything up, and even if I was that’s not your concern. Your business here was finished when Jin Guangyao died, was it not?” Wei Wuxian tried.

 Mo Xuanyu scowled and turned away. Wei Wuxian could practically hear him gritting his teeth. He took a deep breath, as if to calm himself, then turned back to Wei Wuxian, continuing as if Jin Guangyao had not been mentioned.

“I’ve been watching you pine after Lan Wangji for long enough that I’m pretty sure it’s my business now,” he said. He marched up to Wei Wuxian and pointed at him accusingly. “You are the only man I’ve ever known that had a real chance at happiness with the man he loved. And you’re throwing it away.”

 Ah. Wei Wuxian could see how the current situation might be upsetting to the quintessential tragic cut-sleeve.

“A-Yu,” he chided, channeling his sister’s gentle countenance, “I know it seems like I’m screwing up, but I’m not. Lan Zhan and I just need some time apart.” He smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner as he continued, “If death couldn’t keep the two of us apart, I don’t think a few months of me helping the common folk will change things between us.”

What he was saying was not a lie, per se. Lan Zhan cared about him deeply, that much was true, but any romantic inklings he had felt had clearly faded over the years that Wei Wuxian was dead. He really didn’t think that time spent apart would change that. He      knew     that he didn't have a chance of happiness with Lan Zhan. Not the way Mo Xuanyu was thinking. But he was not going to say that when the spirit that somehow lived inside him was angry. That would be stupid.

Mo Xuanyu scoffed. “You’re just going to walk away from him and expect that to be okay? You’re not worried that he’ll move on from you, or find someone else?”

 Wei Wuxian frowned. Mo Xuanyu was usually more perceptive than that.

“If Lan Zhan didn’t give up on me while I was dead, I doubt he’ll do it now,” he pointed out.

 Mo Xuanyu rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything.

This was starting to bother Wei Wuxian. First Mo Xuanyu thinks that Lan Zhan is in love with Wei Wuxian and wants to be with him, and now he thinks that Lan Zhan is fickle and will abandon him. Surely Mo Xuanyu is the fickle one here, not Lan Zhan.

“How about a wager, A-Yu?” Wei Wuxian proposed.

Mo Xuanyu gave him a flat look. “What kind of wager?”

 “The kind that will get you to stop slandering the esteemed Hanguang-Jun,” Wei Wuxian said with a grin.

 Mo Xuanyu made a ‘continue’ gesture with his hand, expression unchanged.

“I bet that by this time next year, nothing will have changed between Lan Zhan and me,” Wei Wuxian said. “If I’m right, you will stay out of business that is between him and me.”

“And if you’re wrong and things do change between you, for better or worse?” Mo Xuanyu asked, eyebrows raised.

“Well, what do you want?” Wei Wuxian asked.

Mo Xuanyu’s brow furrowed at that. “I’m not sure…” After a considerable silence, he asked, “Can I decide later?”

Wei Wuxian knew it had been a long time since someone had offered Mo Xuanyu a choice of any sort, so his indecision was understandable. “Of course. If I lose the bet I will go along with whatever you choose. So long as it’s not something that requires me to get more revenge,” he smiled as he added the last part. It was mostly a joke.

Mo Xuanyu nodded. “Alright, I can agree to that.”

Wei Wuxian patted him on the head before he pulled away. “Good. Now please let me go back to sleep. I have very important rogue cultivator things to do in the morning!”

 Mo Xuanyu rolled his eyes but released him from the dream’s hold.

[ravioliwings]

bnha chapter 290 spoilers under the cut

I’m going to keep beating this dead horse, sorry

I’m really tired of all the “omg Dabi is a bad person how could you possibly like him” bs that’s been going around with the latest chapter. Like for one, you can like a character and not condone their actions (it shouldn’t have to be said that I don’t condone killing 30+ people to get back at your abusive father... but here we are). Also, people KNOW Dabi is a villain. He’s a villain! He’s bad! He’s done bad things! I wish people would just let Dabi BE a villain instead of acting like a villain shouldn’t be, idk, villainous? Dabi isn’t pretending to be something he’s not (lol). He knows he’s bad, we know he’s bad, there isn’t any pretense there. 

What’s really grinding my gears here is that people are really trying to say that Dabi exposing Endeavor’s abuse to all of Japan (maybe the world?) is somehow tearing apart the family, and that he shouldn’t have done the broadcast. Like have people forgotten that it’s ENDEAVOR who did this to his family? There wouldn’t have been any tearing apart if Endeavor hadn’t been an abusive piece of shit from the get go. People are really out here saying that Dabi, a victim of Endeavor’s abuse, is “doing more damage” by outing his abuser.

These are also some of the same people who think Endeavor building a new house is somehow making up for all his past abuse. I’m sorry but realizing “hmm maybe I’ve treated my family poorly” and building a new house for them does NOT erase what he did to them for over a decade. And it’s just like Natsuo said: sure, Shouto can choose to forgive Endeavor, but the rest of them really don’t. We really get all sides of how the Todorokis feel about the abuse Endeavor put them through.

Shouto, who doesn’t necessarily fully forgive Endeavor, but is willing to sort of play nice for the time being while trying to become the type of hero his father would never be.

Natsuo, who was neglected by Endeavor, who Touya told everything to, who knew everything that Endeavor did to Touya, who vows to never forgive his father. He sees Endeavor’s attempt at repairing things as pointless, because Endeavor acting like he suddenly cares does not erase the abuse Natsuo had to witness, nor the neglect him and Fuyumi faced.

Fuyumi, who is just trying to maintain a normal life. She’s trying to push the trauma away and keep a broken family together. She’s willing to play nice with Endeavor because she just wants them to be a family; to be the family that they never were. She’s coping by essentially trying to put it all in the past.

Rei, who still “loves” Endeavor, because she’s never really had the option not to. She was both a victim and a perpetrator of Endeavor’s abuse. 

And Dabi, who has become the physical embodiment of the past. Much like Natsuo, Dabi is not willing to forgive Endeavor, but he has taken it many steps further. He’s centered his identity around being the monster of Endeavor’s own creation. He, unlike Shouto, never decided to reclaim his personhood as his own. He grew up being Endeavor’s project and punching bag, something that Endeavor was trying to live vicariously through, and Dabi decided that he would maintain that identity in the worst possible way. Dabi is the worst parts of Endeavor expressed, and he’s coming back while Endeavor is trying to pretend like he didn’t abuse his family for over a decade. Endeavor MADE Dabi, and now Dabi is here to remind him that “the past never forgets.” 

Here we see that Dabi and Shouto are at complete opposite ends of how they handled their abuse. Shouto managed to crawl out of the pit and decided to become an actual great hero to spite his father. Touya decided to become one of the worst villains in Japan to spite his father. This is just the harsh reality of how some people deal with their abuse. Some people are able to stop the cycle, and some aren’t. Obviously the route that Shouto chose is the best, but not everyone chooses that. And we see it here. 

What really should be the takeaway from all of this is indeed that “the past never forgets.” It doesn’t matter that Endeavor is “attempting” to make things better now, because he’s already abused his family for so long. Endeavor’s abuse had very real consequences, and Dabi is the manifestation of that. Dabi isn’t the one who has broken apart the family, Endeavor has. There would have been no opportunity for this to happen if Endeavor hadn’t massively abused his family in the first place. Without Endeavor’s abuse, there would have been no Dabi. 

And obviously Dabi is still responsible for the way he’s chosen to seek revenge on Endeavor, but it is not solely his responsibility. Endeavor started the cycle of abuse, and Dabi is continuing it. It was Endeavor’s influence that made Dabi this way. Also, Dabi isn’t pretending like the things he’s done aren’t bad. Dabi knows he’s killed over 30 people, and he knows that’s bad, and he’s making sure that reputation follows him into the present. 

Endeavor, however, is still trying to maintain the image of “The Symbol of Peace,” despite him being an abuser. Endeavor is trying to bury his past with weak attempts at repairing his family. 

So, while I don’t agree with the way Dabi decided to get revenge on Endeavor (by dragging innocent people into it), his actions are not without reason. The only people I feel bad for in this situation are Shouto, Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Rei. Moreso Shouto because he actually has to witness this whole thing. And yes, Dabi revealing that he is Touya and alive and the product of Endeavor’s abuse is shocking for the Todorokis, he’s not really exposing anything else that the whole family didn’t already know. It’s gotta be traumatic, but there’s no un-traumatic way to expose abuse. 

And, personally, Endeavor deserves this. Especially after his pitiful attempts at burying the past in the form of a new house. The past is coming back to bite him in the form of Dabi, and I don’t feel bad. Will his likely death be devastating to the remaining Todorokis? Yes. But this outcome was of Endeavor’s own doing. 

The Todoroki family was already broken. Dabi is just airing out the dirty laundry now. So if you’re going to blame anyone for Rei’s likely regression and the re-traumatization of the rest of the family, blame Endeavor. Because it wouldn’t have been possible in the first place if it weren’t for his abuse.

[harold2sco]

Pre-Birth Wounds

Let’s discuss the concept of “Pre-Birth Wounds.” This is a subject that many people never take into account, yet it greatly affects the quality of your existence on Earth.

Most people have been taught to believe that the path of an individual’s life unfolds after birth. Yet, I'm going to assert that this is not the case; that the factors shaping and molding you appear much earlier.

One thing that we've failed to do in many societies is care for mothers during their time of pregnancy. And, by caring, I mean nurturing them, empowering them physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

See, the females of our species literally take it upon themselves to onboard new Souls into the planet. They become vessels of pure cosmic energy and divine creation.

Women essentially bring forth and perpetuate humanity. Therefore, it's important that each mother is surrounded by energies that fulfill her, that remind her of this divine essence.

Because everything that goes into her goes into the baby and, consequently, goes into our human species. So we are creating the template for who and what we are through her.

This is the time period for a woman, during her pregnancy, when we need to fill her with Love, good energy, everything we want to reproduce and experience more of in our world.

But that doesn't happen very often. In fact, many women during this time period are treated harshly. An expecting mother may be pushed by the social system to work non stop like a machine; to surround herself with harmful chemicals in the environment.

Many of our money-driven societies are set up to be this kind of dog eat dog world. Everyone is scratching and clawing to get “Theirs,” and a pregnant woman must often do the same.

Therefore, subconsciously, she will be worried about survival and safety. This woman may also be related to toxic people or have a partner who hasn't done his own self healing.

Both people in that relationship then, who are psychologically battered, will push each other's buttons nonstop. They may have arguments, experience ongoing feelings of despair and disappointment. In extreme cases, physical violence might become a factor.

Just imagine what all this could be doing to an unborn child. In the womb, we are vessels of pure potential that are being impressed upon constantly by what the mother is experiencing.

And, at the core level, we're all energetic beings surrounded by others who carry their own electromagnetic and etheric fields. We constantly mix and commingle with people and are exposed to their emotional baggage.

Through that process, our own energetic sovereignty is often breached. These disruptive frequencies can then throw our lives completely out of balance. And a baby, being exposed to this, may begin to feel unsafe, under attack, unwelcomed in this world.

Studies have been done to follow the children of parents who, early in life, went through a prolonged period of starvation, torment, terror, or suffering. The children of these people often grow up, well into adulthood, feeling that they are never safe, or will somehow be attacked.

They may even develop to be much smaller and less physically capable than the offspring of people who didn't go through such an enormous hardship. Some of these adult children will hoard things. They may feel inappropriately attached to physical objects.

Others will eat to the point of becoming obese. Because, buried inside of their neural circuitry, is a fear that there will never be enough; that what they have will run out, or that they are in danger of losing bare essentials.

The people themselves are usually not able to identify these underlying fears without help or long periods of introspection. That’s because, in the womb, we don't have language yet.

We don't understand words, reason, or verbal cues. But we do have an emotional, energetic experience which, in itself, speaks volumes. The nervous system memory morphs into a belief structure that makes sense out of fears implanted before birth.

You see, thoughts, experiences, life events, emotions, are not words. Words are simply tools we use to transmit our own internal experience into the minds and bodies of other people.

They are secondary symbols, not the experience itself, which is fundamental. In fact, think of it this way. Every emotion is simply a sensory-based representation of some “Thought or information level Frequency.”

The emotion is, therefore, a thought, in the body. The mother will have certain thoughts in response to her environment. These ideas will be translated into a language that the very cells of her unborn child can understand.

Many of these destructive ideas are not hers. Because thoughts aren’t only generated inside of our heads. We transmit them out into the surrounding world.

Therefore, people around the pregnant mother will give their energy to her. If they are petty, “Small-Minded,” or suffer from self-hate, she gets that as well.

This becomes a dangerous cocktail that is mixed together and absorbed by the baby, a being that is pure potential, at its most vulnerable and impressionable state in life.

I’ll give you another example of how this plays out. Studies have also been done to follow the lives of children who were adopted through foster care. Many have gone into the system because their parents were drug addicts or lived a very destructive lifestyle.

Regardless, during those first few weeks of life, there is an incredible bonding process taking place between child and mother. Musch of our development is reliant upon going through this connective process.

Any newborn who is torn away from his or her mother during that time, endures a tremendously traumatic experience. The mother is probably in extreme distress, which her child can feel.

The baby also experiences a sensation of being “Torn Away” from its safety net. Emotionally, that bond is being ripped apart. This leaves an enormous wound and void within the child.

The infant may be placed in a foster home within weeks. Sometimes he or she will be passed right into the arms of a waiting family.

The new “mother” and “father” will very often go on to adopt the baby as their own. Therefore, the child would only really know and remember his or her adopted family.

Yet, following the same children throughout life, it is very very common for them to have attachment issues, fears of abandonment, oppositional and defiant behavior.

Young boys and girls like this may constantly feel the need to make others react, just to prove that they exist. These children will create, through their behavior, situations that cause peers, classmates, and even other adults to push them away.

All of this, and more, can be caused by an emotional/psychological/ Spiritual injury inflicted on the child either before birth or shortly after. The baby, teenager, adult, will go through life wanting to connect; wanting to feel complete and to bond with other people.

The problem is that he or she simply won't know how to accomplish this. Because the traumatic event wouldn’t be stored in regular memory. It would not exist in words or rational thought, but in the energy system of that being.

Even those of us who were raised by “birth parents” may pick up similar wounds in the womb, shortly after birth, and all throughout life. Just imagine what you might be carrying around, stuck in your system, right now.

It could show up as pain, injury, body dysfunction, weight gain, destroyed or abusive relationships, an inability to succeed and thrive, perpetual poverty, you name it.

There are nearly infinite manifestations that can come from experiences and harmful energies trapped in the human system.

You may be able to talk these things through with a traditional therapist and, over time, work them out. However, there is another way to do the same thing that most people never consider.

That is to cancel out the frequency of abandonment, fear, or whatever else is stuck inside of the body. Once that’s removed, the human being is designed to operate perfectly.

You can accomplish this by applying, to the “wound,” a higher, cleaner, restorative vibration.

Here’s a metaphor to help explain how it would work. Imagine that there is a clog in the drain of your bathroom sink. It has built up over a long period of time. The blockage may contain hair, grime, sludge, hard mineral deposits, all backed up in your piping.

You could go underneath the sink and disassemble everything. You can pull it apart, pipe by pipe, to pinpoint where the exact location of each sticking point is. That might work, at least to some degree, but only after you’ve put in a great deal of effort.

However, what if you instead found some natural solvent; what you might call a “High Frequency” You could run that through the pipes, dissolving the sludge, grime, and build up.

This describes the work that I do with people, connecting them with powerful Divine, healing energies that transform every aspect of their lives. IT’s a way of working with the very intelligence of Nature, the intelligence that created your entire body and everything in existence.

By bringing that level of information in, no kind of dysfunction or disruption can stay put. That’s one of the quickest ways to clear problems out, by working at the energetic level.

The REAL power is in your inborn ability to dissolve toxic experiences, not reminisce about them. This is how we, as humans, Truly Evolve to transcend the difficulties that attach to us throughout life.

[bloodraven55]

Analysing Blake’s Taste in Literature

Okay so this title is a bit misleading, but basically I want to go through each of the books that Blake talks about in the latest issue of the DC comic and consider what they might be referring to in terms of her character and the wider story. Other people have already figured out what real world novels they match, but I want to look at their meaning now.

First, we have THE CORPSE DOCTOR, which Blake describes as being about “the horror and responsibility of creation.”

This one seems fairly simple to me. The God of Darkness created the creatures of Grimm, which are certainly horrifying, and both he and especially the God of Light refuse to take responsibility for humans, a.k.a. their creation, and their part in causing the world’s problems, choosing to abandon Remnant entirely instead.

As for how this relates to Blake specifically... well, she’s always been the member of the team with the strongest sense of purpose, and she’s been politically active since she was a child, meaning that she feels the most social responsibility of the main characters. And she signed up to fight Grimm as a way to atone for her past, meaning that she is fighting both the Grimm, which are a physical manifestation of horror, and her own personal demons, which are a mental/emotional/psychological manifestation of horror.

Second, we have THE UNDEAD, which Blake describes as being about “[one’s] fear of other people.”

Again, to me this is quite clearly pointing to racism against the Faunus and prejudice in general, suggesting that those who are bigoted see people who are different to them as subhuman somehow.

Blake’s link to this story is even more blatant since most of her life has been spent in the White Fang working to achieve equality for her people and her desire for justice for the Faunus is one of the most defining parts of her character.

Third and last, we have THE VAMPIRE COUNT, which Blake describes as being about “the fear of the other, contamination, and the loss of control over women.”

Now there’s a bit more to unpack here to let’s go piece by piece. Where the first two titles mostly touch on more generally applicable themes, this one is almost exclusively dealing with Blake’s deepest personal issues.

For a start, “the fear of the other” represents her fear of becoming like the monsters she seeks to fight— like Adam. Then “contamination” symbolises Blake’s previously established belief that she is a toxic influence on others and that she poisons the lives of anyone she gets close to. And finally, “the loss of control over women” is a blatant statement regarding her breaking free from Adam’s abuse and manipulation.

I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that she talks about that book specifically with Yang, Adam’s foil and her current love interest who he becomes exceedingly jealous of because she’s a symbol of Blake’s power to make her own choices. Totally a complete accident and not some sort of message whatsoever.

Anyway that was my take on what the various books that Blake talks about mean— oh wait, there's one more to cover, and it’s maybe the most interesting. I am of course referring to THE MAN WITH TWO SOULS, which is the book that Blake gives to Yang, and which she describes in Volume 1 as being about someone with two souls that are “each fighting for control over his body.”

Now the most obvious application of this to the show’s narrative is as foreshadowing for the Ozpin/Oscar situation, which it definitely is, but I think it applies to Blake herself too. We know from Monty’s notes that Blake is both Beauty and the Beast in one, so I believe that this story is also meant to be a metaphor for her duality in that regard, particularly since the novel is so strongly connected to her throughout canon.

Okay, that's actually the end now. Hope y’all enjoyed my little analysis here.

[syrupwit]

Letter for Chocolate Box 2021

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Hello there, and welcome to my letter for Chocolate Box Exchange 2021! I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to read this letter. I hope that it will provide you with clarification, inspiration, or at the very least a bit of entertainment.

I have requested fic only for all items below. Although I’ve written more for some sections and less for others, rest assured that I would be thrilled to receive a gift for any of the requested fandoms or relationships. 

Please see the table of contents below:

Likes

Do Not Want (DNW)

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Fandom: Planescape: Torment

Fandom: Stellar Firma

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LIKES

My general/SFW likes include: 

Surreality and weirdness

Character studies

Lore and worldbuilding

Humor and comedy, especially dark comedy

Psychological, paranormal, and cosmic horror

Stories-within-a-story

Unreliable narrators

Unusual team-ups

Dramatic rescues

Canon divergence AUs

Unconventional formats

My smut/NSFW likes include:

First times

Awkwardness

Characters being super into each other, especially if one or both of them are conventionally unattractive

Jealousy

Xeno

Humiliation with a male sub

Tease and denial

Orgasm delay; also orgasm denial

Dominant bottoms

Mutual dubcon/noncon, or dubcon where the dubconned party enjoys it

I have a very long list of fic likes here.

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DO NOT WANT (DNW)

Characters under age 16 involved in sexual situations

Sex without mutual attraction

Hate speech or hate crimes (discussions/mentions of bigotry are fine)

Harm to animals (the existence of ghost animals is OK, and it’s fine to mention animals that have canonically died, but I don’t want to hear about injury, abuse, or noncanonical death of animals)

Bestiality

Scat

Necrophilia (sexual activity involving ghosts or sentient skeletons/undead is OK, just not inanimate corpses or remains)

Sexual activity involving worms / spiders / insects

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THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Requested Ships: Adelard Dekker/Gertrude Robinson, Agnes Montague/Gertrude Robinson, Evan Lukas/Naomi Herne, Gerard Keay/Tim Stoker, Harriet Fairchild & Simon Fairchild

One of my favorite pieces of horror media! <3 I’ve requested mostly rarepairs for this exchange. Please don’t look to the amount I’ve written to gauge how much I want one pairing over another -- I want all these things equally and would be happy with any of them.

Adelard Dekker/Gertrude Robinson

The respect, rapport, and humor between these two is palpable in the text of Dekker’s statements and the way Gertrude talks about him. She was still holding onto his plans to disrupt rituals after he presumably died. I’d love to know more about their working relationship, the foes they faced, and whatever’s going on with Dekker’s relationship to the Web. Extinction!Dekker would also be awesome.

If you want to get into Dekker’s faith versus Gertrude’s lack-of, please do! I’m really interested in the way that religion/faith functions in a world like TMA’s, and I love conflicts between characters where neither “side” is cast as “right” by the narrative but it’s clear why everyone believes the things they do. But if you’re not interested in touching on this topic, no worries.

Agnes Montague/Gertrude Robinson

Star-crossed as hell. I refuse to believe that they only met once, or that they were entirely somber and fateful and dutiful about it. imo Gertrude generally comes off as contemptuous or irreverent about other entities and avatars, but she seems to reserve a certain respect for Agnes. Agnes... I’d just like to know more about Agnes.

I’d love to hear about their history: how their metaphysical bond works in daily life, the encounters or near misses they’ve had over the decades, the ways they’ve helped or foiled each other from a distance. I would especially love some outsider POV, whether it’s Gertrude receiving statements about Agnes, Agnes hearing of Gertrude’s exploits secondhand, or a third party perceiving a meeting between them. A statement directly from Agnes could also be awesome.

I’d love any AU where they have to work more closely together, as well -- be it canon divergence, or a setting AU like vampire/vampire hunter. (Oooh. Buffyverse AU with Gertrude as a Watcher and Agnes as the leader of the vampire cult that killed her latest Slayer, y/n?)

Evan Lukas/Naomi Herne

“Alone” was one of the first episodes in the podcast that really got me, and the image of Naomi running between those open graves is still striking. I feel terrible for Evan and am so curious about his fate. I’d love to hear more about their relationship, anything that might have happened to Naomi post-Eyepocalypse, or an AU where Naomi rescues Evan from the Lonely or vice versa.

Gerard Keay/Tim Stoker

These two have never met on-air, but I think they’d really get along. They’re both quick, driven, given to quips and reasoned action, and possessed of tragic backstories. Whether they meet somehow pre-canon, Tim finds Gerry’s book in the time between Jon’s return from America and the Unknowing, or there’s a full AU scenario, I would love to see them interact. I think there could be some interesting tension around Gerry’s decision to consciously align himself with the Eye versus Tim’s unwilling conscription, and the ways their family histories have forced them into contact with the supernatural.

Harriet Fairchild & Simon Fairchild

Harriet Fairchild is a one-episode background character with barely a handful of third-hand lines, but I’m very intrigued by her. Simon is a sparkling example of Affable Evil and I would enjoy reading more about his philosophy and relationships with others. I’m interested in the family dynasties connected to the entities and just kind of want to know more.

What are the Fairchilds, and how do they create new family members? Who was Harriet before she became a Fairchild? How does she conceive of the Vast, and what is her attraction to it (or aversion-turned-attraction)? Who is Simon to her -- teacher, tormentor-turned-teacher, evil father figure -- and how do they agree and diverge on how best to serve their patron? I really love explorations of avatars’ different relationships with their respective entities, so I would adore something about that. 

Some things that particularly compel me about the Vast: the image and name of the Falling Titan, freedom in nihilism, the comfort of insignificance, call of the void, oceans / storms / cliffs, space, scales of size so large they’re not humanly comprehensible, love for the sky, adrenaline and excitement, hollowness / emptiness, unusual manifestations, alliances and rivalries with other powers.

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PLANESCAPE: TORMENT

Requested Ships: Annah-of-the-Shadows & Fall-from-Grace, Annah-of-the-Shadows/Fall-from-Grace, Morte & The Nameless One, Morte/The Nameless One

I completed this game for the first time in fall 2020 and enjoyed the hell out of it. I’ve only played through twice, and I haven’t explored all the routes or possible encounters; please excuse the current gaps and mistakes in my canon knowledge!

Annah-of-the-Shadows & Fall-from-Grace | Annah-of-the-Shadows/Fall-from-Grace

I fell for Annah because of her voice acting (the affectionate wryness! the ill-concealed vulnerability!), and Grace because I love older female characters whose stoic or gracious exteriors conceal fortresses of discipline. While I’m not in love with the way women are written in Planescape: Torment, I really like both these specific characters and crave more interactions between them. Their relationship has a great deal of tension with no real resolution, and they have an interesting mix of similarities and contrasts. I think there are some fascinating possibilities to explore with them, whether platonically or romantically. 

Annah mistrusts and is jealous of Grace. Meanwhile, Grace seems disappointed when Annah rejects her friendly overtures, and repeatedly shows protectiveness towards her. (What does Grace see in Annah, besides a romantic rival or just a younger woman who doesn’t like her? If they had met earlier, how would Grace have tried to cultivate her?) Annah is hotheaded and ruled by emotion, while Grace keeps her arguably more tumultuous feelings under rigid control. Then Annah’s implied discomfort with her heritage as a tiefling, and Grace’s turmoil over her identity and past trauma as a tanar’ri, are another potentially exploitable source of conflict. 

I’d love something about a bonding attempt on Grace’s part gone awry -- does it get criminal? Unexpectedly dangerous? Uncomfortably sexy? An exploration of how they deal with things post-ending (any ending), or just everyday interactions with the citizens and environment of Sigil, would also be awesome. Hurt/comfort, too -- maybe something where Annah is trying to be stoic while Grace heals her, or a situation where Annah has to take care of Grace and is super out of her element? Or maybe Annah gets mazed somehow, and is shocked when Grace shows up to rescue her? These are all merely suggestions though. 

Morte & The Nameless One | Morte/The Nameless One

One of the most complicated relationships in the game, and also (in my opinion) the most intriguing. I’m really interested in Morte’s loyalty to the Nameless One and the way his guilt intersects with and fuels it. They have such a long, twisted history, and the player’s decisions can put so many different spins on it. I’d really love anything about them, shippy or gen. (I would prefer that the focus be kept off their romantic/sexual relationships with women or aspirations toward the same, particularly the sexually harassing comments.)

I’m a massive, massive sucker for comic relief characters encountering serious/dark situations, so I would love anything with Morte in that vein, whether it’s one of his canonical moments of peril (getting stolen by Lothar! potentially being traded to the Pillar of Skulls!) or a new situation. A past incarnation of the Nameless One could also provide the peril. Their relationship has gone through near infinite iterations -- there’s so much to exploit there, and so much opportunity for angst on Morte’s part (and pining, if you want to go in a shippy direction). 

Further prompts… Hmm. I’d love something that explores the world of Planescape in general and Sigil in particular; I’m particularly fond of the mortuary, the catacombs, and UnderSigil. It’d also be cool to see their first meeting after the “best” ending of the game (where the Nameless One finally dies and goes off to join the Blood War). On the whole, though, anything where these two are together and bantering would be lovely!

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STELLAR FIRMA

Requested Ships: David 7/Trexel Geistman, Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz, Number 1/Number 48, David 7 & Trexel Geistman & Hartro Piltz, David 7/Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz

It’s difficult to express how much I love this podcast, but rest assured I really, really do. It has been described as a cross between Brazil and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and this strikes me as accurate. I love how the tone is at once exuberantly silly, but also dark and horrifying, in a way that doesn’t try to hammer listeners over the head with its irony. It would be hard not to delight me with any fic about the requested gen relationship and ships.

David 7/Trexel Geistman

I didn’t actually ship these two until I wrote 10k+ words of them talking. Then Season 3 came along, and, well, I LOVE THEM. They’re so fun together, and I love the gradual development of their not-quite-friendship -- those few, short moments of genuine connection, that contrast all the more with Trexel’s everyday self-absorbed cruelty and the oppressive horror of David’s situation.

The potential for jealousy and unrequited pining on Trexel’s part here is particularly delicious. (I would be totally cool with unrequited Trexel->David for this request, by the way.) However, I also love the idea of David realizing, with creeping horror, that he has feelings for Trexel, or that he returns Trexel’s no doubt inconvenient and poorly expressed affections. Imagine the songs they would sing.

In terms of prompts… I really loved the in-universe coffee shop setup; something about their time there, or an AU where they get to stay longer, would be lovely. Playing with tropes could be fantastic -- soulmate/soulbond AUs, arranged marriage, bodyswap, amnesia, wingfic, time loops, fake dating, hurt/comfort, one character being assumed dead when they aren’t (and then it makes the other character realize their feelings, oh no). I’d also really love angst, centered around pining or not. I think some terribly painful things could be done with these characters, and I’d love to read them.

Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz

I fell hard for this ship right about when Hartro made Trexel drink clone slurry in Episode 5. I love how much fun she has terrorizing him, how he just has to take it, and how he both fears her and scrambles for her attention. (NB: I am 100% unironically into the foot thing, so feel free to do whatever you’d like with that, including nothing.)

I love what a disaster Hartro is. It’s not her fault that she was assigned to Trexel -- he could drive anyone mad -- but she lets her hatred of him goad her into making terrible decisions. At the same time, as a nonnie on FFA expressed a while ago, it seems like she gets more out of the relationship than she wants to confront or acknowledge. On Trexel’s end, Hartro seems to demonstrate the exact sort of mix of “come here” and “get away from me” that captures his attention.

Kink is baked into this ship, so I’ll try to be shameless about requesting it. I was perhaps overly gratified when Trexel was canonically stated to be a masochist (he likes getting shock-collared! and possibly stepped on!). I’d love anything that goes even further with their canon dynamic -- D/s, punishment, bondage; humiliation, degradation, the foot thing; maybe dubcon with a pre-canon Hartro taking out her frustrations on Trexel, or some sort of incredibly messed up corporate training exercise. 

Explicit kinky content is far from my only interest here, though -- I’d also love romance, a lower-rated exploration of UST, or something that examines their relationship without getting into kink or sex at all. This is one of those ships where, if you make them hold hands in a certain way, hearts will spontaneously explode in my eyes. Just a fact.

Number 1/Number 48

Standards! So sinister. What’s up with them, anyway? How did they meet and agree to file relationship paperwork together? What are their couples counseling sessions with Dr. Krell like? What were the most egregiously vague pronouncements that Number 1 made pre-canon, and what other work assignments have impacted their personal lives and forced them to cancel reservations? ...How did Number 48 get the murder hammer? 

Since these two are, I believe, the highest-ranking members of Stellar Firma to have appeared in the podcast so far, I’d love something about their interactions with other higher-up types or silly protocols or general Brazil-type bureaucratic madness. If there are ominous promises and disturbing implications packaged in crisp business jargon, all the better. 

David 7 & Trexel Geistman & Hartro Piltz | David 7/Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz

So, I love these characters and the way they interact. I love that they’re all dramatic and ridiculous in their own ways, and that no one is strictly the straight man or the comic relief (though Trexel does come close to the latter). 

Gen-wise, these three seeing a common goal through together would be delightful, whether it’s something small or grand-scale or completely imaginary. Something science fiction-y, or crossover with another genre like horror or film noir, could be really fun. Additionally, the episode where they all play a TTRPG is one of my favorites -- I’d love something else about them playing a game together or otherwise letting Hartro explore her passion for elaborate props and scenarios. 

Ship-wise, I’ve already talked about why I love David/Trexel and Hartro/Trexel. For David and Hartro, I like that they’re able to have a polite, semi-reasonable conversation, but I was also intrigued by the hint of antagonism in Episode 55, with the angry staring and pointed bed-sitting. I tend to read David as either gay or bi with a heavy preference for men, but I could absolutely get into some David/Hartro rather than a V relationship for this OT3. In terms of shippy prompts, I’m interested in seeing them navigate the same scenarios as in gen, but I would also love some messed up three-person corporate training exercises if you’d like to go that route.

[lostinprocrastination]

So, let me get this straight

All of the show happened irl, only it wasn't the real, "corporeal", full Elliot we were talking to, so to speak.

And and it was Darlene who never wanted to create even more trauma by telling him (I mean, can you imagine her doing it when he was all paranoid about Mr. Robot being a fragment of his own psyche - which he wasn't afterall, he was *a* part of real!Elliot's psyche getting glimpses of control to try and end our Elliot's dominance? He would have perished in a mental hospital, like, wow), it was always Darlene who never let go of him and wouldn't let the so-called Mastermind disconnect from at least the real world, if not from his complete self. His most important relationship by far, his rock, his sense of self, if you think about it.

Now I see why she *couldn't* be part of the perfect, ideal life Elliot had created for himself in his mind, you see? Because that was not real, and Darlene was the one piece of the puzzle that was always, always real. No wonder he started to get really, scarily, extremely crazier once he sensed she would have to go away, and went to this dream world after she left. And still, even in this dream world, even when he wanted to succumb to it, he was somehow looking for her.

So, call me stupid because I never saw the "our Elliot is just another real!Elliot persona" twist coming, but at least I knew Darlene would be the key to EVERYTHING and and that "ideal" world was somehow a dream - and he doesn't say it, but c'mon, he eventually realized that wasn't where he was supposed to be because, more than anything, Darlene wasn't there. Because it was the dreamworld he made up to cope with the trauma of his dad abusing him when she *wasn't* there, and it was ALL wrong.

And you know what? I LOVE that we don't get to see the full, real Elliot. That's not the point. The point is how we're never really fully ourselves, but the persona we have to manifest in any given situation: at work, with acquaintances, with strangers, running errands, with loved ones, even when we're alone. And when that's combined with dealing with excruciating trauma, one of those personas can take over, and others will try to bring you back to your full self - but that is never going to work unless you have something or someone to tether you to reality and everything you are, in all its complexity.

Shit, that was quite something. I'm gonna miss this show so. Fucking. Much. Bye, Elliot. Hello, Elliot.