#and taliesin’s playlist is so well-

[dynamite124]

What would Taliesin's favourite modern day song be do you think? Or small playlist if you're stuck on multiple! Very curious what Allora could sing for him that he'd badger her to preform or teach him so he can sing along lol

Oh gosh, there's a lot of modern songs out there that Taliesin would like.

Off the top of my head, I think Taliesin would love the song "Kissed by a Rose" by Seal.

Or "The Riddle" by Nik Kershaw.

If he's feeling naughty, he might even try to get Allora to sing the chorus to the original version of "Everytime We Touch" by Maggie Reilly because he's paying attention to the lyrics, hahah!

Taliesin: Well now, I had NO idea you felt that way about me. I'm flattered.

Allora: Shut up!

[faefoundmoon]

pov: ur a punk rock with trust issues - playlist

A collection of songs from my Ashton Greymoore playlist along with my reasonings behind each one! Keep reading below the cut :]

I Can’t Handle Change: Ashton doesn’t feel like they belong with Bells Hells, hence the first line “Hangin' out where I don't belong”. He thinks they’re better people than him and that he doesn’t fit in with people who are so undamaged (of course, they are damaged. Ashton is just too clouded by their own pain to acknowledge it). “I can’t handle change” alludes to their fear of opening up and trusting people again after keeping their walls up for so long. “Nothing I do is ever good enough”. After being left behind by people you consider family, I’d have a hard time believing that he doesn’t blame himself for not being “good enough” to save.

I’m Gonna Win: The chorus of this song is VERY Ashton. I think the phrase “I’m gonna win” in the context of Ashton isn’t so much a pursuit of victory so much as the pursuit of survival. The strategy they’re using to make it through life is a really tragic one. It’s a single-minded focus of trying to survive and doing it all alone. They’ve made it this far. Why would they ask for help now? The imagery of the singer refusing to give up until they’re “bloody and bruised” and have “broken [their] bones” is brutal, and it shows how tough Ashton thinks he needs to be in order to make it.

Problems: “I am a sinner, you are a saint.” Once again, Ashton is comparing himself to the rest of Bells Hells and saying that he is so much worse than they are. The lines comparing chains and cages to love allude to the narrator’s commitment issues, and as we know Ashton “I don’t do friends” Greymoore is certainly someone who avoids commitment.

Trying Too Hard: This song highlights the softer side of Ashton. I interpret the lyrics as Ashton speaking to themself or to someone who they think is similar to them. The lines “You never knew that acts could be too loud. What does it mean to be picked out in a crowd?” stands out to me as Ashton feeling fear over being known, as well as fear that his actions both good and bad mean something to someone now. There is a responsibility that comes with being loved, and it’s scary.

Take a Slice: This is the only song in this particular list of songs that I chose off of pure vibes alone. The theme of sensuality and lust doesn’t have much to do with Ashton, although there are references to alternative culture throughout. But yeah, the main reason I chose this song is because of the gritty and dangerous tone.

Everybody Knows Shit’s Fucked: A political song about anti-Americanism, but putting the literal meaning of the lyrics aside, the energy screams Ashton to me. The unbridled fury and outrage towards a corrupt system is very punk. As is cursing, and there’s a lot of it here.

Heart of Glass: Yes, I took this one from the official Ashton playlist, sue me. It’s a good one! As Taliesin mentioned in his own reasoning for picking this song, it is very literal. Although he did swear it has a deeper meaning. I wonder what that is?

Blood and Money: An anti-capitalism song calling out the American upper class for shamelessly using the lower class to fight their wars and make their money. Much like Everybody Knows Shit’s Fucked, the literal lyrics are less important than the energy here. Also a fun coincidence: the colors that the lyrics use to describe blood and money are also Ashton’s color palette- “red, gold, and green”.

[iannageorge]

Why Chicago?

Another behind-the-scenes look of my fanfic, “Strategist”. Also a bit of an explainer, since not all readers are from Chicagoland or the US.

Whatever Rick may say in the future, (my) Malcolm Pace will always come from Chicago. The City of Chicago is central to his character. To a certain degree, Chicago is the heart of the story, even if nearly the entire novel is set in New York State.

Chicago is there in the novel’s dinkuses (the section breaks of chapters that are typically three asterisks—yes, that’s what they’re called). The dinkus for this fic shares the four six-point stars of the city’s flag: ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ .

Chicago is also in the first emoji hint of what’s to come. For chapter 1, it was 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💨💨💨💨💨💨💨���🏙🏙. The hint stands for the Great Chicago Fire, the Windy City, and the Home of the Skyscraper. Alternatively, it could refer to how, after the Great Fire, the city transformed into an architectural masterpiece. The number of each emoji is also a hint; 773 is one Chicago’s area codes.

Chicago is even there in the date chosen for the grand opening of New Athens: March 12th, as Chiara had revealed in chapter 5. 312 is another of Chicago’s area codes (the downtown area specifically).

Chicago is also there in the graphs in chapter 3—not just in the data but the colors of the chart as well. The red and the blue match the colors of the city's flag.

Chicago is there, too, in the story playlist, in a selection of featured songs/artists, like “Memories On 47th St.” by Vic Mensa. About 32 of the songs, in fact, with even more that are closely related—not that they're all listed yet. (Regrettably, the playlist does have a particular artist who did have really thoughtful messages in his old songs but has really become… bleh. Those tracks are there for their messages and vibes, not for the people who created them.)

And Chicago is also there in the inspiration behind New Athens (like the urban planning elements that borrow from Daniel Burnham’s ideas), it is a bit there in the lingo (e.g., Chapter 2 has a little Chicago slang, like “tweaking” and “lacking”), and it is very much in all the references to the Great Lakes or the Midwest or Illinois or “four states away” or a bunch of other things: Kenwood, Jane Addams, Jon Burge, the Bulls, IMSA, UChicago, the Chicago Boys, giardiniera, Malört, and other things that Malcolm might happen to think about in his daily life.

As for why...

So. Malcolm was first supposed to come from another state I lived in. Except that state wasn’t interesting enough for a story, in my opinion. Ha.

Then I thought... Interesting... Hmm. Arizona. Arizona’s interesting. There’s the Grand Canyon… There’s Sedona… Oh, and there's the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation HQ in Scottsdale, called Taliesin West, which was also FLW’s winter home and lab. That made for a nice connection to Annabeth. (In the atrocious and incomplete original draft of the capture the flag fic that this novel spawned from, Malcolm is from there, and there’s a mention of Taliesin West. [Percy wanted to take Annabeth there on a date lol.])

But Malcolm gave me city boy vibes, like, BIG big city boy vibes, so he had to come from one of the top metropolitan areas and not a suburb. The Phoenix metropolitan area (which includes the suburb of Scottsdale) is not that.

Because I made him the chief policymaker of New Athens, I also wanted to pick a place that really fueled his need—not just a desire—to build the city. What would make him want to wish so friggin badly that he could sort of raze down a country (burn it all down perhaps?) to rebuild it from scratch? And what would make him consider a solution like that?

What immediately came to mind was Chicago—and that his wish did kinda happen there, through the City Beautiful Movement, shortly after the Great Fire of 1871. The movement, which flourished from the 1890s to the 1920s, was an urban planning philosophy that was supposed to create moral civic virtue and fix certain social issues like poverty. But in the end, the City Beautiful Movement was still way more about architecture—the physical components of a city (what Annabeth's interested in). The movement failed to rectify the deep-rooted, seemingly impossible-to-solve social problems that Chicagoans had experienced and that remain to this day, like segregation, violence, and poverty (what Malcolm's interested in). This was explored/compared in chapter 4:

In the land of the bereaved and home of the depraved, they’d build an enclave with better problems.  New Athens would be everything the Second City should have become after that great blaze. Paralleling the wonders of the City Beautiful was simple enough. With a park system to make Bennett proud and a Burnham-inspired guarantee that not a foot of the shores would be appropriated to the exclusion of the people, New Athens could easily be established as “City in a Garden” and “City by the Sound”. New Athens could, too, boast the togetherness and unshakeable optimism of Malcolm’s kind of town.  But this city wouldn’t squander its chance to start from scratch. New Athens would be the place hailed as the City that Works—that did work, and for all. 

I really liked that Malcolm and Annabeth could have that connection of complementary yet opposing goals (physical and intangible institutions; permanence vs. change), which I tried to illustrate in chapter 3:

‘Something permanent,’ she’d told him. Like the architectural masterpiece Wright et al. had brought to life for the most beautiful great city left in the world.  Malcolm scoffed. Were you blind or dumb, Wright?   Some things were just too permanent. 

Chicago also has an even better connection to Frank Lloyd Wright (and other architects) than Scottsdale/Phoenix, so Malcolm could also still get that bond with Annabeth. As indicated in chapter 3, I head-canon Annabeth spending parts of two summers in Chicago with Malcolm, exploring art museums, going on architecture tours, and seeing everything there related to FLW. I honestly don’t remember if canon Annabeth had ever left camp before Percy came around. (I feel like it’s a no? But I don’t care at this point.) It just seemed like such a worthwhile, life-changing, and perfect thing if she had visited Chicago as a child. Kid-Annabeth deserves to have gone to the Sears Tower Skydeck and to have seen all those FLW buildings in person. And she deserves to have been taken on an architectural boat tour on her birthday to see those skyscrapers and drawbridges by the Chicago River. To me, it was this head-canon trip to Chicago that cemented the architectural focus of her wish for “something permanent”. What better inspiration than the very city her hero supposedly called “the most beautiful great city left in the world”?

Without revealing too much, I will say that Chicago will continue to be there throughout “Strategist”—the good, the bad, the myths, and more.

[asterroth]

the official mighty nein playlists are fucking GOOD and i’m listening to travis’ and it’s just a bundle of surprises. like imagine pray for me (from black panther) starting up with no warning and all of a sudden you’re like holy shit??????? fuck yeah???????? thank you god

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

@ people who are into tlovm and can make edits,,, i am begging and sobbing and pleading that someone makes an edit of percy to “the mask” by matt maeson….. that song works SO WELL for him it’s insane..

[sparring-spirals]

Oops! All Deep-Dive on Ashton's Playlist

the title is bad and im not really sorry.

So. Listen. I feel like Taliesin’s description is extremely true- Ashton’s playlist is both extremely vibes based, and VERY dense, if you’re digging into it proper. It’s about Ashton, but its also very much about punk, as a culture, as a movement, as historical building blocks. The two can’t really be divorced, I think.

So my way of pulling apart playlists- 50% vibes, 50% lyrics- doesn’t quite translate for this, because I think it’s best done with like, proper googling into each band and each song, and historical delving, alongside sitting back and really absorbing the Vibes(tm) of the playlist. So! I did a bit of a deeper dive, but also. VERY important disclaimer:

This touches on real history. I am not particularly well versed in punk history, and only a bit with the culture, and was only able to do very surface dives for this.

I cannot emphasize enough how much I am NOT claiming authority or absolute correctness on this, and I’m sure there’s a million things I’m not picking up on. Any bigger assumptions I make are meant to be Ashton-specific. I’ll try to provide links and actual facts without my input as well. Everyone gets to draw their own conclusions, this is mostly for me to have a large pool of info I can look at later. This is long. I’m sorry.

Let The World Turn: is a SOLID start to any playlist, but especially Ashtons.

“Let the World Turn” starts off slow, talks about moving on, talks about figuring out how to keep going. How to leave the past behind. And then- kicks up, gets loud and heavy and defiant. Also, Taliesin was not kidding about the incredible history of this band: (link to wiki page) some interesting highlights among it- arguably the first punk band, definitely the first all-black punk band, named “Death” after the death of the father, related to a desire to turn the negative connotations good. Prioritized brotherly bond and this name over the commercial relationship. 

(There’s like 20 layers here and I am not even going to try explicitly laying them down in case I miss big things so all I’ll say is: Holy shit, right?)

Warbaby:  the line of “beat you black and blue” was. Very prominent to my brain. The band is interesting, though. (link to wiki page) They’re well known within the LA scene, but are not friendly with major record labels, most likely related to their “reputation as trouble makers”. (Not my words, pulling it off a site). The Mau Mau’s are the names of… many things, actually. Like. Puerto Rican gang. Uprising in Kenya. ...

Stayin Alive: I mean, off the bat, you know. Vibes. It’s a reimagined, very unique cover of a well known song. about staying alive. Very fuck you. 

Garbageman: I’m trying to figure out a good way to describe the vibes without getting too pretentious for what its trying to say. I love this song for Ashton, though, okay. It’s fucking perfect. It’s- it’s Ashton, getting into the fight with Ratanish and getting happier and happier as shit goes sideways but it’s a proper brawl, no pretense, no bullshit. That’s how Ashton wants to live. That’s how Ashton will live, for better or for worse, so the question is: what about you?

Beat on the Brat: What can ya lose? Over and over and over.

(Weird Al is a Choice. I’m sure others can speak much more intelligently on this, but: Weird Al as a very talented artist, who largely is known for parodies that are ridiculous but also require a ton of talent and precision and are like. Fantastically made. Also radical self acceptance. You feel me? U feel me. (link to wiki page) )

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?: THIS IS ABOUT FCG AND THAT IS FUCKING TERRIFYING. It’s the well known, cheerful, friendly tone, interspersed with. Rock. Upswells. I don’t know what the musical term for it is but the SHIFT. Drastic, sharp, claws under fur. F.C.G? F.C.G????

Boom Swagger Boom: This is a good song. Taliesin’s caption sums it up well, but I think it also demonstrates another big thing about Ashton, which is how much they appreciate lack of pretense. Attraction, respect, are based on that. Garbageman, too, touches on this: The way a person carries themselves when they can walk the talk. (Optional thought: could refer to a specific person for Ashton?)

Stealing People’s Mail: Yes, yes, the song is about stealing people’s mail (woOOooOooOo). I think the history of Dead Kennedys (link to wiki page) and the themes that run through their songs might be a bigger factor than specific lyrics here- Dead Kennedy’s are a “controversial” band, often with political songs that satirize political figures and authority as a whole, and “provoking debate about censorship in rock music.” So you know, yes, stealing mail, but also- bucking the status quo, shirking authority, railing against a system that works to serve itself.

Sugar Town: “Yeah I’m on my way, on my way to Hell” with the instrumental in the background, the tune. The vibes off this song. Immaculate. Ashton is going to hell, but they’re going to have a good time doing it, owning it all the way down. (Also I tried looking up ShitKid but my "learned on duolingo" Swedish is not good enough to read the wiki and my brain is going too fast to watch info videos. Fun link though)

Happy: This is a beautiful blend of a cheerful, verging on spooky sound with extremely ominous lyrics. There’s SHIT going on in this song that I don’t think we know yet. Who IS happy. Anyway also the double meanings of forced happiness and cheer being a poison. Fuck pretenses, really, huh Ashton? (Danny Elfman is NEAT, worked on like, Tim Burton movies, various other movie scores. interesting. (link to wiki page))

Heart of Glass: WHO THE FUCK FUCKED UP ASHTON. IS THIS ABOUT THE NOBODIES? IS THIS ABOUT THE SPECIFIC PERSON? Holy SHIT. The layers of hurt and distrust and betrayal here. If it’s about the Nobodies: Ashton may (MAY) have come to terms with being left behind, and have rationalized it for the better, but by GOD the trust issues run deep after that. If it’s not about the Nobodies, what the fuck, everyone stop hurting this punk rock D:

Beat My Head Against the Wall: There’s a level of frustration here, although the tune is still? Arguably? Upbeat? But I think there’s a specific acknowledgement here that the rage and anger that Ashton uses as fuel (that Ashton values as honest! Because it is!) can backfire too. But also…………..

Halfway Home: Fucking hell. I feel- like maybe this is the most direct song regarding Ashton’s feelings about the “incident”, and how his entire life- and body- were changed as a result. “Out of body experience”, is a choice phrase by Taliesin. The descriptions of “they lazy way they turned your head into a rest stop for the dead” “is it not me? Am I not folded by your touch?” Ashton, broken and shattered on the floor, Ashton, put together by someone else’s hand through unknown methods, through their fear and kindness and- entirely at someone else’s mercy. 

Ashton didn’t have a say on how they were put together, did they?

Overall impression: Ashton is angry- about the world, about shitty people, about things they cannot change. Ashton is angry because they want the world to be better, so fuck it, they’ll be good where it counts, where it makes things easier, even where it makes them bad. Ashton knows where they are, who they are, what they have at their disposal, and they are proud of it, goddammit.

Ashton has been hurt deep, hurt bad, by people putting up pretenses. Ashton values honesty, authenticity, to a premium. It is not about kind words, it is not about politeness or putting up appearances, about saying the right things but meaning differently. Ashton will take a punch to the face a million times over if you mean it, and will have no patience for empty words or empty gestures.

Ashton is very, very, very punk.

Appendix: “The Decline of Western Civilization” is a documentary that came out in 1981 about the punk rock scene that also stirred up the authorities a bit at the time. (Which is probably a VERY good sign). The Mau Mau’s are noticeably absent from it. Might be an interesting watch.

[daggersandarrows]

feeling a little bit conflicted about all the posts that are like “oh my god, orym is queer.” and have this whole thing about how integral that is to his character and how amazing that is. having read through them i’m fairly sure that most of them mean really well, and even now it’s still pretty fucking revolutionary, of course, but...i can’t help thinking, why didn’t vax get this treatment? (back in 2015, which was like a different century for queer people? where queer characters in media were incredibly rare--the legend of korra finale had JUST aired), why didn’t caleb?

it wasn’t lack of confirmation--they were both obviously, openly, demonstrably queer. and they were that early on. i still cannot believe (but am immensely grateful for!) the boldness with which liam put girls & boys on his first vax playlist.

in the end, i know why, i just really wished we hadn’t had to go through it again this time around. people still don’t accept vax and caleb as “really” queer. in fact, despite the fact that only two members of vox machina could be considered (ambiguously!) cishet, i always see the mighty nein referred to as the group with the better and more progressive representation, as though cr has been slowly adding more over time and improving their “bad” rep. don’t get me wrong, i do think they have improved in that regard, but...

c1 had a lot of queer characters. notably, c1 had a lot of bi characters. but that doesn’t stop people from referring to kima and allura as “the lesbians”, and it doesn’t stop people from referring to all three “endgame” pairings as “het pairs”, and it doesn’t stop people from saying that vax “should’ve been gay”. i’m tired of vexleth being referred to as a “gay” ship (especially when we know they’re both canonically attracted to each other!! it’s not some wishful thinking never gonna happen ship--they’re both queer!! they just ended up with different people!), i’m tired of percy--PERCY!!! played by THE taliesin jaffe, who has never done anything not-queer in his life--be referred to as “the straight one”. 

y’all know there’s a supercut of caleb being bi on youtube that’s an hour and a half long? it’s not even the only one.

i’m just so tired of the relentless biphobia y’know?

[merlinbingo]

August Round-Up

We are without frills this month, because trying to open canva crashed my browser twice. I know third time is supposed to be the charm, but I don’t wanna take the chance that it’s actually gonna be ‘third time kills your laptop forever’...

So, if we could all get on with pretending it’s closer to August than October, here’s our double load of stats!

July brought us 42 fantastic fills created by 18 wonderful participants (and one by me, though I don’t remember what it was or when I posted it...). Fics were once again top of the list with 32, but art (3) was edged into third place by fantabulous gif creators (5 fills!), and we also got a beautiful fanvid and a glorious playlist to round things off. Unsurprisingly, most fills were either Merlin/Arthur (20) or gen (12), though Merlin/Gwaine (3) and Merlin/Lancelot (2) have their own share of fans.

As for August, we got 50 fills created by 26 people. 38 fics, six artworks, two gifs, one fanvid, plus the glorious overachievers who decided to do fic and art (one person), and a moodboard and ficlet (one person, but they did it twice!).

On the subject of overachievers, the absolute machine who brought us nine fills in July brought us a further six in August - if you’re who I think you are, you’re well on your way to blacking out a second bingo card, and I am filled equally with awe at your creative output and shame at my own (yeah, those badges I promised wouldn’t be long last time? Turns out they still haven’t materialised...)

Shipwise, it’s the same old story: Merlin/Arthur with 27, gen with 10, and Merlin/Gwaine (2) still plodding along in the background, though this time they were matched by Gwaine/Percival and Merlin/Morgana... The Lancelot/Merlin fills were non-existent this month (if my keyboard did emojis, I’d be sadfacing right now), but we did get a few other rarepairs, including one Lancelot/Will fic - only the fourth work on ao3 to be tagged as such!

Aaaaanyway, enough babbling from me. Please find all of the beautiful fills hidden below the cut, and remember to heed the warnings and practice self care when clicking on those links!

Love, peach x

Gen/No ship

The One Who Will Be King by chaosgenes Rating: General audiences Warnings: background character death Major tags: Baby Arthur Pendragon, Pre-canon, Grief/Mourning Summary: The moment Arthur was born, Uther did not spare him a glance.

The Sword in the Stone by theartsylillipad Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: merlin, merlin bingo, bbc merlin, merlin fanart Summary:

First Snow by demitimelord42 Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: fluff Summary: Merlin takes Aithusa to see the snow for the first time

Gwen's pink dress by kairennart Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Summary:

Single dad AU by Ice-mint Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Alternate universe, Uther Summary:

Introspection by Ice-mint Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Summary:

Lady Morgana on Break by monoisbored Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Summary:

Taliesin by thebookluvrr1816 Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Summary:

Who is the Monster Here? by archaeologist_d Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply, OC death Major tags: pre-canon, Lamia, OCs, explaination of Lamia's origins Summary: In the Old Religion, there was power and then power, good or bad. But desperate times called for desperate measures. And so, the Lamia were born.

Of Farmers and Mercenaries by tigereyes45 Rating: Teen Warnings: Major character death Major tags: Flash Fiction, Ficlet, Angst, Final Moments, Canon compliant Summary: William of Deira became a mercenary after helping Arthur that fateful day. He wanted to serve him again. Sadly, he never gets the chance.

Gwen/Morgana

melting into you by kirani Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: modern AU, vacation sex, established relationship, light bondage Summary: Morgana has been buried in her latest case for weeks but it's finally wrapped up, so Gwen decides to take her on a little vacation. And if she packed some toys in their bags, well, she doesn't think Morgana will complain.

Gwen/Merlin/Arthur

Something Different by Anonymous Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Female POV pleasure, Sexy new ideas to try, Double Penetration, Caring Lovers, Fluff and Fun Summary: Gwen has some ideas to try with her lovers, Arthur and Merlin. How would it feel if they made love to her the same way they do to each other? How it would feel to have them both inside her at the same time? The three of them give her ideas a try.

Merlin/Freya

To a Better Place by devotedwaywardangel1 Rating: Mature Warnings: Major character death Major tags: Mercy Killing, Angst, Hurt Freya (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Blood and Injury, Summary: Set at the end of S02E09 of BBC Merlin, Freya can't heal and magic will not let her die so she asks Merlin to do the unthinkable

Merlin/Morgana

The Best Laid Plans (Get You Laid Old-Lady-Style) by gwen-cheers-me-up Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Pranks, Humor, Sexual Content, Roleplay, Fluff Summary: Merlin transforms into a naked Dolma in Morgana’s bed as a prank. It does not go the way he expects.

Simplicity by gwen-cheers-me-up Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/non-con Major tags: Tentacles, Eggpreg, Multiple Orgasms, Aphrodisiacs Summary: Morgana has finally figured out how to get rid of Emrys for good. Unfortunately for Morgana, she isn’t immune to her own trap. But maybe that’s not so unfortunate after all…

Arthur/Gwaine

it's what my heart just yearns to say, in ways that can't be said by Saurus Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Romance, love confession, canon era, arthur is a soppy bastard Summary: All the signs were there, right before his eyes but Arthur tried so hard to deny it. He thought it must be his imagination, it couldn't be true. He surely, couldn't possibly be in love... Right? or Arthur is a soppy lil shit for one of his Knights.

Lancelot/Will

rise from above by stanzas Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: AU - Canon Divergent, Lancelot lives, Will lives Summary: The first time Lancelot heard Will's name spoken aloud, he was in Merlin's room.

Merlin/Mordred

Call Me Emrys When You Want It To Hurt by MerthurAllure Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Painplay, bdsm, pwp Summary: Mordred loves pain, and Merlin quickly learns he loves giving it to him.

Arthur/Lancelot

Like Honeyed Summer Days by queerofthedagger Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Religious Imagery, Fluff Summary: The point is, Lancelot has never considered himself a religious man, but he is sitting in a clearing, late summer blooming around him, and there is a king lying with his head in Lancelot’s lap, hair spun gold and eyes closed with trust. There is a king lying in his lap, face turned into the palm of Lancelot’s hand, and the small smile quirking his lips is so content that Lancelot fears he will choke on the happiness of it all.

Gwaine/Percival

Will you read to me? by Laevateinn Rating: Mature Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: moodboard, A/B/O, Fluff, Bookstore AU, slice of life Summary: Gwaine and Percival have a nice Sunday morning.

Come on, big boy, tell me what you want. by Laevateinn Rating: Mature Warnings: No archive warnings apply, Underage Major tags: Lingerie, Handcuffs, Topping from the Bottom, College AU Summary: “Gwaine. Gwaine please” The rattle of handcuffs clinking together diverted Gwaine’s attention from where he was kneeling between Percival’s knees.

Merlin/Gwaine

Turn Back - Merlin/Gwaine by tigereyes45 Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: angst, let's go back to the start, unwavering trust, Summary: A short video highlighting Merlin and Gwaine's relationship. I edited it from the idea that Gwaine and Merlin would like to turn back time.

Giving Me a Sugar Rush by MerthurAllure Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: PWP, friends to lovers, blowjobs, modern era Summary: Gwaine is a different type of sugar daddy, and Merlin can’t say he’s opposed to it.

Merlin/Arthur

Poetry by thebookluvrr1816 Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Summary:

you keep watching my eyes by kairennart Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Pining Arthur, Getting Together, Court Sorcerer Merlin, Fluff Summary: "Come on, attack me as if you mean it." Merlin adjusts his footing into a defensive posture, expecting his taunt to rise something in Arthur. It does. Apart from his words, his eyes are heavy on Arthur’s, his lips red and smug, his hands clenching and unclenching, ready to cast. A soft breeze ruffles his hair. Arthur swings his sword.

love me, love my laundry by @ravenwilds Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Modern Era, Husbands, Fluff, Arthur's late, Merlin hates laundry Summary: Completely unsurprisingly, Arthur's late, Merlin's been left to do all the laundry, and they're probably going to miss their flight.

Another Roomba AU by Nivelle Rating: General audiences Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Roombas, Alternate Universe - Robots Summary: In which Roomba!Arthur has a sword taped onto him and is chasing Roomba!Merlin who has been equipped with a shield through the palace.

Live for the Hope of It All by queerofthedagger Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Mentioned Ygraine, Fluff Summary: August days, a stealthy plan to make sure that for once, Merlin will take a break, and the heaviness of memory that tends to come with late summer days. Arthur wouldn't change it for the world.

Forgotten Knighthood - Chapter 4 by evaelisaa Rating: Teen Warnings: Choose not to use archive warnings Major tags: Summary: Part 6 of the Knight Merlin series - During a trip where Merlin and Arthur are alone together, Morgana manages to get a hold of Merlin...

The Kissing Fever by Camelots_Daffodil Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Love Potions/Spells, Canon Era, Merlin is Tired, Kissing, Everybody Gets Together Summary: It's spring time in Camelot and you know what that means... love is in the air! Only Merlin thinks that there might be a little too much of it when everyone in the land seems to be unable to stop themselves from kissing whoever is closest. As usual, it's up to him to fix the magical issue before anyone can realise that there's a magical issue that needs fixing.

Nothing Left to Prove by queerofthedagger Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Gym AU, Fighter Merlin, Smitten Arthur, Protective Merlin, Getting Together Summary: Five times Arthur appreciates Merlin's skill, and one time Merlin makes good use of it.

The First Step of Many by Mischel Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Pining Arthur, Fluff, Holding Hands, First Kiss Summary: Arthur is no coward -- then why is it so hard to take Merlin's hand and admit his feelings? And why is it even harder when Merlin catches him pacing and wants to know what's going on?

Almost Accidental by archaeologist_d Rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: fluff, dancing, kisses, clumsy Merlin Summary: The first kiss was definitely an accident. The rest of them, not so much.

Playing with fire by Laevateinn Rating: Mature Warnings: Light BDSM, bondage Major tags: Moodboard, shibari, fire play, sub Arthur, dom Merlin Summary: "“Do you trust me?” “I do.” Merlin and Arthur experiment with fire."

A Heart is made to Ache, Break and Heal by royal_spud Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence Major tags: unhinged Merlin, emotional hurt/comfort, Angst, Unrequited Love, Betrayal Summary: Merlin's always been the kindest among them, barely able to stand the sight of a dead rabbit. He despised violence and loathed hunting. And flinched at the sound of clanging metal. But when a sorcerer snatches the king and his knights from their bedchambers one calm night, and forces them all to watch him as he rampaged everything and everyone in his way as he searched of them, well kept secrets come spilling out; leaving them to wonder just how well they knew who Merlin was. If he was the same person who smiled as bright as the sun and sung to himself and made flower crowns. The person they'd known, and adored, and some had even grown to love. Or if he was someone else entirely.

Patron of the Arts by archaeologist_d Rating: Mature Warnings: No archive warnings apply, Graphic depictions of violence Major tags: modern au-no magic, merlin as artist, angst Summary: Arthur always loved to draw but when his father refused to allow it, Arthur left it all behind. Until he met Merlin.

don't you think i look pretty curled up on this bathroom floor by Saurus Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Non-Binary Merlin, Masturbation, Lingerie, Sexual Fantasy Summary: Arthur finds an unexpected item of clothing... Who could it belong to he wonders.

Chemistry part 12 by archaeologist_d Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: angst, arthur is a prat, modern AU with magic Summary: The scrawny kid knew more about chemistry than Arthur did. Who knew he’d fall in love with the idiot?

Doctor, can you fix me? by chaosgenes Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Modern AU, Fucking Machines, Bottom Arthur Summary: Arthur thinks there's something wrong with him and visits Dr Oddlove, a recommended sex therapist, who gives him an unorthodox solution.

Floppy Dick by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Smut, Established Relationship Summary: Arthur learns that it's not wise to accept Gwaine's dares. Merlin is a good boyfriend and offers to make him feel better.

Carefully Planned Coincidences by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, First Time, Fluff and Smut Summary: After watching them pine for ages, Merlin and Arthur's friends decide it's a time for intervention.

Seeking an Alliance by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Porn, First Time, Bottom Arthur, Canon Divergence Summary: To save Camelot Arthur approaches Emrys with an offer of an alliance.

Screw Fear by chaosgenes Rating: Explicit Warnings: Choose not to use archive warnings Major tags: Fear of Heights/Flying, Mile High Club, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering Summary: Merlin is afraid of heights but rides on a plane for work. Arthur, his boss, helps distract him.

Sex Education by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Modern AU, Porn, Gangbang, Roleplay Summary: Arthur teaches his class the wonders of exploring various body orifices.

Dining Out by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Porn, Vampire!Arthur, Immortal!Merlin, Modern AU with magic, Frottage Summary: Arthur needs to feed. Merlin is more than happy to provide.

Drawing by elirwen Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Porn, Modern AU, Bondage, Edging, Dom Merlin Summary: Merlin shows Arthur various pleasurable drawing styles.

Follow the Rainbow by chaosgenes Rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Post-canon, Modern, Public Blowjobs Summary: On a sweltering hot day, the Once and Future King finally returns—and lands in the middle of a Pride Parade. Reunions and frisky times ensue.

[criticalbeauregard]

id like to hear the whitestone andy theory!

I would love to tell you about it, anon.

I’ll preface by saying I haven’t organized my thoughts about this in the slightest, but I’m going to try to make this comprehensible. 

The idea is that Whitestone Andy wasn’t really someone Laudna had a “crush” on but was mentioned more to come across as “normal” when the conversation of past relationships came up with the group in 3x09, or as an improv device for Marisha to communicate how Laudna’s life was before her death (the town freak).

This moment can also be read as Laudna attempting to make Imogen more comfortable (which Laudna has been quick to do at her own dispense multiple times.) Laudna freely offers this information after the rest of the group discovers that Imogen has never been on a date, effectively steering the conversation away from Imogen (and saving her from everyone’s attention and probing questions that she’s clearly uncomfortable with.)

I don’t think Laudna is “lying” per se, but it is worth mentioning that she is functionally 50 years old and has never had a romantic relationship and canonically has never been in love (before meeting Imogen, which she states in 3x06). It’s not a stretch to think this may be something Laudna is insecure about and that she could’ve spent time post-Whitestone trying to rationalize the life that was stolen from her and even convince herself that she never would have had those experiences anyway. (Despite Laudna’s radiating positivity, things like When I Grow Up by Fever Ray being on her playlist and the ear cuff conversation in 3x17 seem to tease more and more at something deeper beneath the “open book” Marisha states Laudna to be.) 

There are two meta-knowledge things that also made me question the whole Whitestone Andy situation. The first being that Marisha is well known for her extensive note taking and detailed backstories. This situation directly parallels episode 2x118 when Beau discusses HER past relationships. Marisha references her notes during this scene down to having a name chosen for Beau’s first (and only) boyfriend that was never previously mentioned (which she can’t locate but it’s clear that she had it written down at one point). (Sidenote: It’s funny that Sam used the same voice for Whitestone Andy in 3x18 that he used for “Tony” (Beau’s first boyfriend) in 2x118.) When some of the cast is surprised that Marisha would have a name written for this irrelevant part of her backstory, Liam even says “it’s her” and Taliesin says “of course.” Which, yeah, it’s completely in character for Marisha to have fleshed out all these details. 

This is why something Marisha says in passing during 3x17 was surprising to me. She tells Travis “nobody was supposed to ask me what his name was” and then “[that was] very made up shit.” (After it’s joked about how poorly thought out the name Whitestone Andy was and I suspect there may be another joke here that’s going over my head but that happens sometimes with CR and I usually chalk it up to that fact that I’m 18 and the cast is in their 30′s and 40′s.) So, it’s unclear here if she’s talking about just the name or the entire story.

Anyway! This became way longer than I expected and may have been very obvious to some people but I’ve been thinking about it a lot because...Laudna. I realize this kind of ended up being the opposite of a theory and more just me saying Whitestone Andy specifically ISN’T significant in terms of lore but more in terms of Laudna’s characterization and the even more obvious fact that CR is improvised and when they say things it just becomes true. To kind of quote Taliesin, “[I’m] saying this is a D&D game.” Marisha’s choices are very often devastatingly intentional, so this storyline has just stuck out to me. Especially as it’s become a running joke with the cast. 

TL;DR This mostly devolved into Laudna analysis and talking about Marisha’s past character building. I think Whitestone Andy was mostly a catalyst to a larger discussion about Laudna’s life and the tragedy of what happened to her. 

I also have Imogen brainrot thoughts about Sam the stableboy (who, yes, was only mentioned once in episode 10) and the notion of Imogen’s flavor of wanting to be “normal”, but that’s for another time. 

[nat1nonsense]

No one asked for this, but here’s some songs I think should be on Bell’s Hells playlists if/when they get another playlist

Dorian: World’s Smallest Violin - AJR

- I feel like as someone who grew up in essentially royalty, Dorian might tend to minimize a lot of his problems because there’s always going to be people who have it worse than him, but also maybe he’s working on learning that he doesn’t have to repress his sorrows just because he thinks someone else has it worse and maybe the crown keepers/bells hells are helping him come to terms with that fact

(and also the lyrics “like finishing this melody / this feels like a necessity / so this could be the death of me / or maybe just a better me” has very strong bard vibes)

Ashton: I Know Trouble - Walker and Wylde

- I know taliesin has a whole punk rock vibe going for Ashton’s playlist and this song is very not punk rock, but I think Ashton would absolute fuck with this song if they were a little less punk rock and a little more folk-y

(And you can’t tell me the lyric “crime pays better if you’re already rich” doesn’t have Ashton vibes, especially after episodes 20-21 but also just in general)

Imogen: Drinking Song for the Socially Anxious - The Amazing Devil

- just because you find solace in being alone or being in the quiet doesn’t mean you’re a lonely person is the simplest way of describing the vibes of this song, but also describing Imogen’s general vibes. We’ve heard her say how grateful she is to get away from the big city crowds because it helps keep her mind quiet, but with Bell’s Hells and especially Laudna at her side she knows she can be alone but she’ll never be lonely

(“I’m not lonely if I’m with you” is an Imogen/Laudna lyric, I don’t make the rules)

Orym: Don’t Carry It All - The Decemberists

- I’m not gonna pretend I understand this song because I don’t, but Liam adds a song by The Decemberists to every character playlist and I’m just doing my part. “Don’t carry it all” feels like advice Orym gives to every member of his party though, and someone needs to Orym the same thing before he drops all of those plates he’s spinning

Fearne: Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift

- I was torn between Blank Space and this one just because of the “Darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” line in Blank Space. But something about this song seems very whimsical or at least fantastical in the context of Fearne, the idea of someone seeing her in their “wildest dreams” as someone who’s just absolutely gorgeous against the sunset but in that dreamlike way where something just feels slightly off about her

(And “he’s so bad, but he does it so well” is about Ashton. Sorry, I still don’t make the rules. I’m a Fearne/Ashton stan first and a person second)

[eponymous-rose]

A Critical Role Campaign 2 Mechanics Primer

Got a request from a new Critical Role viewer for some clarification re: rules and characters, and dang, yes, there’s so much stuff to deal with as a new viewer at the moment. So here’s an attempt at clarifying some stuff!

How does D&D work?

Fundamentally, one person (the DM) sets the scene and the players riff off that scene by acting out what their characters would do in response. Whenever a player’s actions would lead to an uncertain result, the DM can call for them to roll a die and try to hit a predetermined target number to see if they succeed. The players’ individual characters have abilities that boost certain categories of rolls and penalize others; a very strong character is more likely than a scrawny one to be able to open a jammed door, but they could still have an unlucky roll. It’s the DM’s job to incorporate the sometimes-absurd results of those die rolls into a coherent story.

Combat is the most “gamey” D&D gets, where everyone has a turn set aside to act (with an order determined by the “initiative” roll that starts combat). This is where character classes come in handy: magic-users cast spells, fighters jump in with their weapons of choice, and so forth. Each character has a set of hit points, and once those reach zero, the character is unconscious and possibly dying. But combat ain’t just hack-and-slash: there can be conversation, strategy, manipulation, collaboration, and all sorts of weird subtleties going on. Fundamentally, players’ actions are limited only by their imaginations.

It can be super weird getting into a D&D show even if you have played a bit because everyone plays the game a bit differently. Critical Role’s gameplay leans hard into roleplaying and character beats (there are episodes with basically no dice rolls) but also leans hard enough into the rules that a random bad or good roll can completely derail the story; rolls aren’t fudged or handwaved for the sake of a predetermined narrative, which means nobody playing (including the DM) knows how things are going to end up. This makes for a viewing experience that is a cross between dramedy improv and live sports; the cast plays out long scenes of conversation, but their characters could also permanently die at any time, adding to the high stakes. It’s also totally unedited, which accounts for the absurdly long runtime. 

If any of that isn’t for you, there are a lot of great D&D podcasts out there (often labeled “actual play”) that run the gamut from silly with minimal rules to mechanically involved but edited down. It’s a cool time to get into D&D!

Okay, so how exactly do these characters do their thing?

One of the more confusing aspects for new viewers of the second campaign of Critical Role is that they’re using a fair amount of content that’s not in the baseline ruleset - some character races and classes are coming from expansion content, and some are from Matt Mercer (the DM’s) homebrew. Here’s a quick summary of what each character has going on at the start of the campaign, moving from left to right in the first episode’s seating arrangement.

Fjord (played by Travis Willingham)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Travis is the big guy who looks like he could throw a football real far. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice has a Texas twang.

Fjord is a half-orc warlock. A half-orc typically has green skin and tusks but otherwise looks fairly close to a garden-variety human. Warlocks are magic-users who gained their abilities from a bargain with a mysterious (generally somewhat malevolent) being of great power. Mechanically, they rely a lot on what are called cantrips (spells that can be cast an unlimited number of times a day) since the number of more powerful spells at their disposal is very limited. However, unlike most other casters that have to get a full night’s sleep to regain their stronger spells, warlocks just have to rest for an hour or so and they’re good to go. More specifically, Fjord is a hexblade warlock. Hexblades are warlocks who have a particularly strong bond with their weapon of choice and can summon it from nothing.

Beauregard (played by Marisha Ray)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Marisha is the woman who often perches on her chair like she’s about to take flight. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is a bit gruff with a sarcastic drawl.

Beau is a human monk. Both humans in this campaign use a variant version of human that allows them to pick a feat at the start of the campaign: Beau has some extra expertise in investigative and athletic abilities. Monks are preternaturally powerful martial artists; what some classes do with magic, they do with unarmed combat. Mechanically, they rely on an ability called ki points, which are a stockpile of points that can be used for extra-powerful abilities such as being able to hit extra times on an attack or being able to stun an enemy. More specifically, Beau is a Way of the Cobalt Soul monk, which is a homebrew from Matt and means she’s essentially a warrior-monk-librarian whose key abilities center around rooting out useful information.

Caleb (played by Liam O’Brien)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Liam is the guy who perpetually looks like he’s about to launch into a Shakespearean monologue. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice is soft with a German accent.

Caleb is a human wizard. His variant human feat gives him an eidetic memory and the ability to always know what time it is. Wizards are magic-users who got to where they are with careful study; Caleb has to keep track of his spells by transcribing them into a spellbook. He also has a familiar in the form of the cat Frumpkin, although Frumpkin can also change forms. Mechanically, wizards can pick up spells from a lot of different sources to learn them, but again, the cost in time and materials of transcribing them into a spellbook can be substantial. More specifically, Caleb is a transmutation wizard, which means his wizardry focuses around the act of transforming one thing into another.

Nott (played by Sam Riegel)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Sam is the guy with an alarmingly big smile and a comically oversized flask. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice is high-pitched with varying levels of Cockney accent.

Nott is a goblin rogue. Goblins are small and quick, and may or may not be well-received depending on the location. Rogues are sneaky individuals who do best when striking from the shadows or scouting ahead to investigate potential traps and unlock doors. Mechanically, they get a huge bonus in combat if they attack when unseen or when an opponent is distracted by an ally. They’re also very good at avoiding attacks and at hiding from view. More specifically, Nott is an arcane trickster rogue, which means she also dabbles in magic related to illusions and enchantment.

Jester (played by Laura Bailey)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Laura is the one who may or may not be instigating every round of giggles at accidental innuendo. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is bubbly with an Eastern European accent.

Jester is a tiefling cleric. Tieflings essentially look like brightly-colored humans (Jester has blue skin) with horns and a tail; they’re the result of infernal ancestry and also may or may not be well-received. Clerics are magic-users who derive their power from the blessing of a deity or other extremely powerful entity. Jester’s divine patron is the Traveler, a mysterious trickster with an affinity for phallic graffiti. Mechanically, clerics have a massive stable of spells from which they can choose a subset every morning; their abilities range from healing wounds to causing devastating harm. More specifically, Jester is a trickery domain cleric, which means her spells have a strong focus on illusions and pranks.

Mollymauk (played by Taliesin Jaffe)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Taliesin is the one who looks like he may be some sort of ancient fey creature who’s come to our realm to play D&D. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice has an Irish accent of varying intensity.

Molly is a tiefling blood hunter with purple skin. Blood hunters are a custom class Matt created that can use their own blood (in a process called hemocraft) to augment their combat abilities. Mechanically, blood hunters are high-risk high-reward; they can perform devastatingly brutal attacks, but often only at the cost of shedding some of their own blood to do so. More specifically, Molly is an Order of the Ghostslayer blood hunter, which means he’s got an affinity for things relating to the moment of death.

Yasha (played by Ashley Johnson)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Ashley is the one who isn’t around for a little bit (she was splitting her time with a TV show on the opposite coast) and then SHE’S BACK AND I’M STILL SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is soft with a faint Scandinavian accent.

Yasha is an aasimar barbarian. Aasimar are the semi-divine counterpart to tieflings, although Yasha is a fallen aasimar with a fairly different aesthetic. Barbarians use their rage to enhance their already fierce battle prowess. Mechanically, barbarians in a rage take less damage and deal more damage, and also embrace a high-risk high-reward playstyle as tanks in the middle of the fray. More specifically, Yasha is a Path of the Zealot barbarian, which means her battle rages are fueled by the influence of a divine being.

Interested in watching from the start of campaign 2? The show has a YouTube channel with each episode posted in its entirety, and all episodes are also available in podcast form (they did jump channels partway through, but you can usually find a playlist that has them all). If you want to delve into campaign 1, I highly recommend it, but be aware that they’re still figuring out tech stuff and you’re also jumping in partway through the game they started years earlier at home. Campaign 2 starts 20 years after campaign 1 on a different continent of the same world, and is intended to be an appropriate jumping-on point for new viewers.

Interested in catching up faster so you can watch live with friends? Search Critical Recap for a series of recap videos on YouTube, which then becomes a series of written summaries on the CritRole website after episode 88. There are also great summaries on the Wiki, and many people have put together catch-up guides for new viewers. 

There’s A LOT of content out there. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for skimming the early stuff if you want to get in on the new episodes sooner. <3

Episodes air at 7 PM Pacific every Thursday on Critical Role’s Twitch and YouTube channels; the VOD goes up for free on YouTube the Monday after. In the last few months, the cast has been distanced at the studio (all on separate cameras) and episodes have been pre-recorded several weeks in advance; normally, the show is streamed live and everyone is around the same table.

Hope that helps! If you have any questions, let me know. This is a fun show to get into, and a great all-consuming massive body of entertainment if you have the time for it.

[angelsndragons]

So, after rewatching the Grove scenes enough times to make my head spin and rewatching Certain Scenes, let’s talk Caduceus. Yes, this is going to be long. No, I am not sorry.

Blanket TW for this series: as we will be delving into Caduceus’ backstory, quick warning for discussions of drug use, self-harm and self-neglect, and general depression.

Part 1: Chosen and Unchosen

So one of the most interesting aspects of 130 is how Taliesin and Matt took what could have been simple sibling rivalry and made it a fundamental core to both Caduceus and Calliope in particular. Back in episode 96, Colton and Calliope both were described as put out or annoyed that Caduceus saved them and created enough seeds to save the Grove. Matt specifically mentions their wanting to be the ‘hero of the family.’ 

In particular, what’s fascinating to me is that, all things considered, Calliope seems a much stronger ‘protagonist,’ a much stronger PC if you will than Caduceus on first glance. She wants out, she wants adventure, she wants to save her home and be a hero, she has spent years honing her fighting and crafting skills to be able to do it. If she is a paladin or cleric as many suspect, then her ‘lesser’ abilities connecting to the Wildmother and understanding her will are even the basis of a great campaign long character arc. Hell, her brother minding the Grove gives the party a somewhat isolated, out of the way base they can return to when things get rough. She seems to be precisely the character one would want on a journey like the Mighty Nein’s. And she would have been terrible at it, with them.

Caduceus, on the other hand. Well. Liam’s joke, “You’re just a random shop keep in the woods?’ is kind of on the nose. Unkind fans keep saying that Caduceus is a heal bot or a glorified NPC. Caduceus doesn’t fit the mold of adventurer and never has. And after 130, that is the point. Because the Calliopes are long gone; they don’t wait around for adventurers to find them. They don’t have the patience for it. From 130, we can gather that Caduceus was not just a quiet, responsible, self-sacrificing kid. He was also the kid who just went along with whatever was expected of him and who didn’t seem to have any contradictory opinions of his own. Notice that the Clays are confused and unsettled by Caduceus just walking out of the middle of the conversation; this is not normal to them. The Nein, on the other hand, are not bothered by it; they don’t consider it a tantrum or disrespectful. They are actually used to Caduceus not completing a conversation, to him saying something and walking away or shutting down the conversation. It’s only been the last several weeks that Caduceus has really been reaching out and actively trying to communicate fully. I think it is fairly obvious that Cornelius expected that Calliope would be able to shake Caduceus from his course because she had always been able to. As I said in my playlist analysis, Caduceus only realizes just how far he’s come, how far he has drifted from what his family expects of him when he runs into them again. And he is not ready to go home with them until he can resettle who exactly he is.

All of this is to say, Caduceus began the campaign fervently telling himself that he was chosen to save his home. He anchors himself to that fact. He says that he has always known deep down that saving the grove was his responsibility and that he had been neglecting it. Constance also says she expected him to do it in 96, Clarabelle accepts that Caduceus of all people saved her pretty quickly, Calliope reluctantly admits that everything seems connected to Caduceus, that it wasn’t her time, and thoughtfully agrees to let Caduceus continue traveling if he feels he must. So that begs the question: how did we get to episode 28? No, seriously, think about it. If everyone, from matriarch on down, had a sense that Caduceus would be their savior, what the hell happened? Why was Caduceus alone in that grove, waiting for the Nein? Why on Melora’s green earth did they leave him there?

Caduceus says it himself in 130: he didn’t want it. And his family loves him, imperfectly as we all do. So his sister steps up, says, “I will do it in his stead” and “I want this, let me have it.” And they all go about their lives hoping that it is enough. But. We can’t walk the path laid out for other people. They have to walk the path. Caduceus tried to unchose himself, Calliope tried to choose herself. And it didn’t work. At all. The Wildmother still waited for her chosen Clay to choose to start walking again then pointed him in the right direction. It sounds cruel, in a way. But the Exandrian Prime Deities have always allowed mortals to choose their fates. Even if Caduceus was the only one who could save the grove, it was still his choice whether to do so.

And here is what really gets Calliope’s goat and what Caduceus is sorry for: he enjoys being out there. He didn’t want it but now that he has been out there, there’s a part of him that likes it. What is left unspoken: What if you had left earlier? Taken your mantle sooner? You mean we did all of this for you, because you thought you couldn’t handle it and now you’re throwing it in my face how much the entire world has come to depend on you?

Honestly, I love this deconstruction of the Chosen One trope. Caduceus had to choose himself, as surely as he unchose himself. His fate, and the fate of so many others, is defined by his choices. What a painful lesson to learn.

I have *checks notes* four other parts I’m currently working on, including Apathy is Death and What Does Manure Do for a Garden, so I’ll be back soon with them.

[nochiquinn]

campaign 1 episode 26 REDUX: Consequences and Cows OR pls imagine a cow with percy’s glasses and realize what we were robbed of

whatever music is over the start of this episode is drowning matt out entirely

liam.

never realized how much matt actually says "make your way" until I expect the meme after and it doesn't happen

"if there's a gun on the doorknob don't go in"

absolutely wild to hear vex talking about/being okay with percy potentially banging lillith. or anyone.

oh no matt's lillith is just marion

percy's room: [full of half-finished blueprints] me, nodding sagely: ah yes. iron man 3.

I didn't say anything last time bc I thought it was just a Me Problem, but orion really does try to drag the focus back to him as soon as he gets an opening, doesn't he

"maybe his soul IS forfeit" "to what?" yeah about that

love watching matt now that I know he knows the things he's talking about

hate seeing chat talk about keyleth

"you're so much better at the words than me"

I also remember being mildly annoyed at liam over the "lOoK iNtO mY mInD"

"[the briarwoods have] gone through nothing but the proper channels" well yeah that's how they get away with it

laura with the high bun and the dangly earrings is really pretty

matt trying desperately to impart that there are Consquences To Their Actions

oh no. oh no is this the mirrors.

do I skip the mirrors or do I watch travis' soul die in real time

"we come to you with a sidequest while the main character of the current plot has con crud"

RIP Mr. Simms

the old man is sloooowly becoming more texas as time goes on

this predates mccree, too, doesn't it

"hide your bull hide your wife" l i a m

"I'm alright." suddenly remembers that I'm Not Okay was on taliesin's playlist for percy. with the caption "oh, keyleth"

"I'm just pointing it out!" relax, she's just putting it out there

imagine if percy had been here for this conversation

"we've stood before them and we did not fall" barely

oh no he mentioned mashed potatoes and bread rolls and now that's all I want. dammit.

jarett!!

"I make an army of bears"

this is not the mirrors, this is drunk tiberius, which is almost worse. at least the mirrors was just holding everybody else up, not fucking up everybody else talking

"are you just biased now that you know orion is the human personification of wet garbage" no actually this annoyed me the first time, I just didn't say anything bc I was terrified of fandom backlash

"is it just all the crosstalk" he is in general very bad at having an inside voice while other people are talking, but now he's just interrupting other people to rp drunkenness (the overlapping voices is also giving me a sensory hell moment tho)

thank you for coming to my FAQ

I'm choosing to believe that leaving trinket with percy was a subconscious perc'halia moment

"we're all cows, embrace it"

sam: it's cow-moo-flague matt, in the most resigned voice: I have to give you experience for that >:(

"my cow is going stealth"

"I go into a cow rage"

dimension door, location: birb

GET UP ON THE HYDRA'S BACK

"SCANLAN?? what the SHIT???"

"it's the amblin logo, except we're cows"

"I. Love. Dungeons and Dragons."

I know this has nothing to do with the actual briarwoods arc and is a side thing bc taliesin's sick but god I hope it gets animated

"you never need to worry about me, haven't you guys learned that by now? I'm fine." cries in episode 85

"for thematic reasons I also turn it into a cow"

"can we stealth in?" "...I'm a pterodactyl"

"air is not your favored terrain"

liam: "I'm not used to being flying" me: it's okay, it'll come

"I whack him in the back of the head" vax'ildan

birb no mean bite, birb got big mouf

man these guys trying to diplomacy is a 180 from mighty nein

end on a beard check

pls imagine a cow w/grog's beard

I gave you my hand please respond

"fighting for-moo-tion"

"take back the exprience you gave him earlier"

[maskeddevera]

I’m really surprised I haven’t seen any discussion of the Matt Maeson “Grave Digger” song from Fjord’s most recent playlist as possibly being connected to his relationship with Caduceus and the Wildmother.

“We chose who we emulate based off what we see.”

I mean, the song is titled “Grave Digger,” right? It seems pretty on the nose. With the comment “I never knew my parents – does that make me a clean slate?” there could also be some Vandaren exploration in the song as well. However, the lyrics “your sweet sinless sensation is not my style“ to me really fits a lot better with Caduceus and the way he introduces Fjord to the Wildmother. Fjord grapples with his personality being so different than Caduceus, but he still hopes to connect with the Wildmother. With the Wildmother, I feel like this is another place in his life where Fjord is struggling with whether he is good enough.

I’ve been wrong before in this campaign, but currently I personally interpret the Fjord and Caduceus relationship as platonic/familial (to me all of Taliesin’s hints about Caduceus being asexual as well as him saying that he misses his brother after messing with Fjord don’t personally read to me as a romantic relationship). Even so, the two of them have definitely developed a very strong, important bond, and I do think that this song is a nod to Caduceus and his influence on Fjord.

[criticalrolo]

i'm so scared for caddy 😭😭😭 esp w/ the bon iver song on his playlist. like. taliesin already knows what happens next week so i'm: nervous (on a semi-happier note, we got some fjorclay moments, which were nice)

THE BON IVER ONE IS SENDING ME HOURLY HEART ATTACKS AS WELL

[salamoonder]

okay i know everyone is very FEAR over all the death songs on cad’s playlist, and i get it, i get it, but i would simply like to point out a few things:

taliesin has, most likely, been working on this playlist for months if not the entirety of his time conceiving of cad. he even said that he was amazed wildflowers didn’t make it on the first one.

he’s not That mean y’all plus he’s not going to base the whole playlist around a potential death (i mean, look at molly. he was dead when the playlist came out, and it was still focused largely on other elements of molly; substance use, gender feelings, Lying (tm), literally his fucking tattoos. even the death focused songs like no one lives forever still apply quite well even if molly had never died.)

he is a grave cleric. raised in a graveyard. there’s gonna be some death songs. we’re also just coming off of dealing with fjord and orly’s deaths.

i think it’s quite likely that we’ll meet again in particular is about his family, not himself. “Make every goodbye a good one, because you never know which one will be the last. And while yes, this is a rather depressing view, I find the pleasure of relishing and acknowledging each goodbye more than makes up for it.” Caduceus has just had to say goodbye to his entire family, right after getting them back, and i think once they were safe he was finally able to admit to himself how scared he was of losing them, especially because he saw firsthand how easily any one of them could’ve been killed. i think maybe he’s thinking about the first time he said goodbye to each of them, fully confident that they would come back. (and then they didn’t.)

so while i appreciate that last night was an absolutely agonizing cliffhanger and i personally am ready for thurday again, i don’t think we need to get too worked up.