#and technically i need to work and catch up with my other 2 courses which would require 2 hours a day

[tardis--dreams]

What I always fail to consider when I create my absolutely realistic to-do lists and plans is the fact that I'm just. So so tired

[bu-blegh-ost]

The time has finally come, @girlsonlytreehouse !!!

Today I shall share with you the fruits of my work. But first, allow me to take you on a journey I myself have been through while counting all of this shit down.

First things first, I decided to count the rolls in the context of the characters rather than the people playing them, simply because the luck of the actual people could not be measured accurately if I only take Riptide into consideration (and also I thought it would be more fun). The guys have several different campaigns, some that I do not have access to, so I've decided to seperate all their Riptide rolls into characters they play instead, cause then we can clearly see which character is the luckiest. But ofc if you want this to be attributed differently, the data remains unchanged, so that way you all can interpret the results however you wanted and still have all the info you need on hand.

Another issue were the advantage/disadvantage rolls. When a character rolls at advantage, they roll twice and the only roll that counts is the one that was higher, while the other is discarded and the opposite goes for disadvantage. So for example if you roll at Disadvantage and you roll a nat 20 and a 2, that nat 20 technically doesn't matter. Despite that I decided to count each adv/disadv roll anyway, because despite the fact that it does not count, it was still physically ROLLED, which means it contributes to the character's overall pool of luck. I tried to separate them at first so you guys can make your own decision whether to add them or not, but in the end I decided against it cause it was insanely hard to keep up with. There were just too many and too often, which led me to believe that it was fair enough to count everything as long as they actually rolled a dice.

Which brings me to the last complication, which is of course Gillion's Prophetic Screwup. At the beginning of the campaign Gillion was able to exchange anything that he actually rolled into a nat 20, and in return the DM can change any roll he does afterwards into a nat 1. That way there was supposed to be an equal number of wild unrolled nat 20's and nat 1's to balance Gillion out back to 0, but it didn't turn out this way. In more cases than not, Grizzly would either forget or fail to find a good place to screw Gillion over, so the ability bacame much too unbalanced. So they changed it somwhere in the middle of Edison Kingdom Arc. From then on, if Gill rolled anything from 1-10 it would automatically become a nat 1, and if he rolled from 11-20, that'd be a nat 20 instead. Either way these rolls had nothing to do with luck, as he wasn't actually rolling anything, thus I decided not to count these 'artificial' nat 20's/1's. However I did keep track of them nonetheless and I'll still give you the number of those, just separately, and from then on you guys can make your own decision on whether or not you wish to count it.

OOOFFF ALRIGHT.

Without further ado, here are the nat 20's results (up to ep106):

Gillion: 52

Chip: 58

Jay: 55

Goobleck: 8

Surprised? Yeah I was as well. First things first I never expected this to be this close. And never in my right mind could I possibly predict that it would he CHIP of all people to have the highest score here. But I've seen it with my own eyes. And tell you what. Jay had this in the bag for most of the damn series. She would consistently roll good and always when you need a good roll the most. There were times when she would have such a massive lead it was unthinkable she could loose it. But then she would just kinda...stop rolling good for a bit and allow the other two to catch up. It just wasn't as visble if you don't pay much attention, but I thought it to be cute. It's as she was waiting for them <3 But she was still mostly leading. It was only the current arc that made Chip surpass her. After his terrible luck in Feywilde, he bounced back so strongly right after, that he managed to jump in front of the luck queen herself.

And now I bet you're curious about the other side of the coin. Give it up for natural 1's!:

Gillion: 55

Chip: 53

Jay: 52

Goobleck: 1

You see, I kind of expected it to be Gill, but I need you guys to know that this wasn't the case at all times. Jay? Yes. If there is one thing that's consistent is that she had the lowest amount of natural 1s at all times almost, but the person that was suffering from nat 1 curse for a long while was Chip. In the Feywilde Arc he would be so far ahead of everyone, that I was genuinely sure that there is no way anyone catches up to him. But then he popped off in the next arc with nat 20's and Gillion? Oh my gosh, Gillion didn't disappoint. I've never seen a man fail this much let me tell you XD He ended up with the least nat 20's as well, but I thought the difference would be much higher until he didn't roll 4 fucking nat 20s in ep 100 and then this double nat 20 attack roll in the Black Sea whduihdius AND HE CAUGHT UP AS WELL, more or less.

Idunno, maybe this is just how luck works, but it truly seems that the trio shares their successes and burdens almost equally. They support each other and in return fate has their backs as well. Honestly I couldn't have hoped for better results. Also can we give shout out to Goobleck, the true MVP? He's been on the show only for a while but look at this nat1 - nat20 ratio!!! Go goop man goo!!!

So now for the additional stuff that I also counted just for fun:

*Prophethic screwup nats:

Before the rules changed Gillion replaced 8 of his rolls into natural 20s, and in return Grizzly replaced 3 of his rolls into natural 1s.

After the rules changed he only got high enough number for 4 nat 20s, and a low enough number for 7 nat 1s.

So that together makes additional 12 nat 20s and 10 nat 1s from the prophetic screwup alone. I don't think they should be added, but the numbers are there so feel free to do whatever you want with them :)

Downs and death saves:

Throughout the campaign Gillion went down 14 times and rolled 8 death saves.

Chip went down 6 times and rolled 4 death saves.

Jay went down 4 times and rolled 3 death saves.

No shocker here, Gillion dies a lot XD

Knights:

In their journey Gillion knighted 4 people: Julien Booker, Clorton, Garrieth and Duke.

Corruption score:

Thus far each character has the following amount of corruption points (Black Sea):

Gillion: 0

Chip: 2

Jay: 3

Queen: 1

Gryffon: 2 (i think, unsure abt that one, may edit later XD)

Earl: 1

That is all I have for now. I may be clinically insane :)

Good day to everyone and I hope you found this data interesting. Take care <3

[connorsnothereeither]

So like, a while ago I did a little update on the Brink fics, and I figured it was worth giving a kinda sad update on my other Fable fics as well.

At this stage, there are no plans to continue or finish Your Skin Beneath My Teeth (the second book in the Blood series).

I know this is probably disappointing, because I know a lot of people really loved the Vampire AU. But from a personal writing level, I’m just sort of unhappy with the direction of the books, and I don’t have the time to commit to rewriting them. I’m not invested enough in my own story, and while that’s a shame, I don’t know if there’s much I can do without just giving myself time to stew on it.

There’s also a logistical side to things as well. Fable is coming to an end in less than a month. I feel like it’ll probably take me months to finish the Brink series still first, which are the fics I’m personally more passionate about. And at a certain point, I don’t want Fable to be the only thing that consumes my writing for the next year+. Not to mention the time I want to dedicate to other SMPs and creative projects I’m involved in, like Cantripped, Bound SMP, and Terramortis, with even more stuff in the works.

On top of all that like… I’m just a guy, ya know. I’m a full time student, work part-time most days of the week, commute between 2 major cities regularly, and I have other things that just deserve my time more.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in fandoms for years, I know it’s shitty when fics you enjoy never get an ending. But I hope that like, people get where I’m coming from with discontinuing it, I guess.

Besides, there is, technically, an ending for Blood. I’ve had the ending written since the end of the first book (it’s just getting there that’s the problem) and so if people would like, as some sort of closure for the story, I would be happy to release that here on Tumblr or on my Kofi or something. Maybe I’ll make a follow up post with a poll.

I might as well mention that there is likewise no plan to “finish” the Band AU, but since that was always a collection of one-shots, there was never really a plan or end for any of it. It was always kinda disjointed without an end in sight lol.

I’m not saying that I’m NEVER going to go back to these fics. Just that it’s unlikely. But who knows, maybe someday I’ll crawl out of the dirt to finish them-

If you did only follow my Fable fics for the Blood books though, I’m sure some elements of my other fan works might appeal to you, if you want to give them a go! The horror/contemplations of humanity are the key theme of Brink, and the mystery/thriller, high stakes political conflict mixed with interpersonal melodrama is the focus of Cascading Skies, my new Bound fic. And of course those and so many more things are just key elements to like all of my storytelling my canon characters lol. But if none of that ticks your boxes, it was great to have y’all along for the bloody vampire ride :D

Anyway this was me getting sappy about setting aside a project I worked really hard on lol. Sometimes you gotta do that and sometimes that’s okay, and that’s an attitude I struggle with but am getting better at. I know don’t owe y’all any kind of explanation for this, I could have just stopped and let it die, but I wanted to give one. More for me personally really; I needed to say something about it publicly to like… fully cement in my mind what I decided on a long time ago. Anyway, catch y’all later when I’m not incredibly tired, and hopefully with a more silly goofy post ✌️

[moxfirefly]

Greetings and salutations, I come bearing a part one to (I’m not sure how long) of a Fic trade I’m doing with the one and only @ray-jaykub

This honestly happened without much planning and we wanted to gift each other a oneshot of our choosing. In the midst of it we also decided to try a part 2 of the trade in which we choose the same ship and give it a world (which will be a bayverse take on Capritello!)

Ray was one of the first people I followed on here during my comeback to writing and I’m so happy ours has developed into a beautiful friendship 🥺so here’s to you bestie!

“My need to possess you

Has consumed my soul”

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

Possessiveness was technically a synonym of jealousy, at least that’s what Leo noticed whenever the word showed up in his brain.

Much worse when it nested in his heart.

There was no reason to feel this. He couldn’t necessarily blame spring or his own thoughts on the matter. Couldn’t blame you entirely, no matter how many laps you’d ran in his brain. Nobody told him how pesky these feelings coursing through him could be.

But could he be blamed?

Could he be blamed when he grabbed you?

Caged you against the wall with his strong arms?

Could he be truly at fault when he nosed your neck, smelled the scent that so often never became unstuck from his clothes?

Leo could breathe you in for hours. Get every little bit of you stuck in his lungs.

So of course he can’t place blame when your hands come to rest against his plastron and the act itself has him shivering.

“Will you ever know?” Leo asks quietly, lips against the shell of your ear.

“Will you ever know just how truly mine you are?” You feel the ghost of a smile travel to your pulse and stay there. Feel the way his large hands grab your waist, the way those muscles wrap around you and lift you.

Beneath him is second nature to you at this point. It’s home to you, to feel the weight of him press against you, secure you, own you.

Possessive wasn’t perhaps the most welcoming of terms but you can’t deny that right here, right now with his mouth wrapping around your nipple, its true. Leo’s lips are soft and welcoming, they suck and twirl the sensitive nub and release with a wet pop that has you clenching your thighs around him. A large hand finds your neck, thumb caressing the soft flesh before it slithers upwards and into your hair. His nails connect with your scalp and the shudders alone have him grinning against your breast.

You chance a look down below and meet those blue eyes that have been glued to your every reaction since the moment he met you. Leo’s calculating after all, cunning if you will with how well he can decipher every little spasm or moan or shiver. He’s aware how to work you over, your body’s basically trained to his touch and that very thought makes him drive his hard cock against your crotch. Somewhere between a languid kiss and another gentle tug of your hair, he’s slid the rest of your clothes off to join his pile.

He feels his chest swell with another ounce of possessiveness over how perfect you look right now. The very idea of somebody else enjoying you like this, the very image of someone else working you up into a trembling frenzy forces him to reiterate his previous statement with more fervor.

“You’re mine, God, you’re all mine” He nearly slurs, drunk off of your scent and the warmth of your body.

Leo drives his hips against you, groans when he feels how wet and welcoming you are just because of him. Every ounce of self control has left the room, it left his body the second his lips found yours.

Reluctantly he detaches himself from you but only with the purpose of guiding his cock into you. That initial breach never stops catching him off guard, it never stops making his eyes roll in pleasure as he pushes inch by inch into you. From nothing to cocooned, nestled in your heat that he swears is perfectly made for him. He groans, eyes shutting briefly from the sensations of how you tremble around him.

Leo’s needy, he wont ever admit to it out loud but its palpable. It’s in the way that his mouth has to attach itself to yours again in a hard kiss. You’re overwhelmed in the most delicious of ways, with his hips slowly moving just like his mouth does. Both sensations purposeful, demanding. You kiss him back to the best of your abilities, trying to find your rhythm in the chaos of emotions that run through you. You feel stretched, you feel suffocated, you feel so very loved.

His mouth is still on yours, kissing with just a little more intensity, molding his lips to yours just as his thrusts pick up pace. You feel him up, from the sides of his plastron to the hard rippling muscles of his shoulders. He’s wonderful to touch, to feel the distinct features of his skin against your own, to experience every little jolt of pleasure you bring him. Such simple little vices he can never ignore, because he is so truly obsessed with you.

Leo’s mouth moves from yours to your neck with a particularly hard thrust. He bottoms out inside of you with a bite to your neck that makes your breath hitch. It’s dizzying, twists the inside of your heart with it all. When you move your head to allow him more space to mark, you catch the low churr that breaks goosebumps across your flesh.

His teeth sink a little harder, until the soft unblemished flesh has a pink hue that soon will give way to green and blue. Leo takes a second to lean back and admire his handiwork, admire that you’re already moving against his every thrust with every intention of getting off. God, he’s obsessed with the image, with your desperate need.

He has to smirk at your desperation, look upon your sweaty flesh as you lean back and raise your hips enough to drown him. He’s enamored with your spasms, the tightness he feels when you clench and beg for him to fucking move, to please fucking move.

“Tell me then,” And you know what he’s wanting.

“I’m yours, just-fuck!” Is all you manage when he props himself up by his forearms and honest to goodness just simply fucks you. His teeth find your collarbones and soon enough another bruise will blossom to remind you of him.

There’s a frenetic energy that overtakes him when you return the favor, when your own teeth find his shoulder. While you don’t possess the ability to break his skin, the intent alone has him thrusting harder, faster. “You feel…so god damn good” He mumbles against the corner of your mouth, and it’s so punch drunk of him to sound like that. He can’t help it, has to lift your legs a little more, make that tension build to its crescendo. There’s an ache burning on the backs of your thighs, both from the position and how hard Leo is holding them.

He catches your stare, sees how your eyes beg for him to keep going to please keep going.

His mouth finds your calf, teeth biting down on the sensitive flesh when his hips just begin to piston. The bed protests but it’s not important enough right now, you’re barely able to speak let alone worry about the bed meeting it’s end at the hands of Leo fucking you into it.

Leo’s lost inside of you, but his lips move from your calf to mouth ‘I love you’ with just that hint of boyish charm that made you fall for him. You try to say it back but your body decides it’s time to revert back to factory settings. You feel just how tight you get around him, enough to make him moan and fall forwards. The pressure of his body, the unrelenting force of his thrusts.

You feel hot and sweaty and suffocated.

But above all things so utterly in love.

“That’s it, that’s it!” He moans against your neck, the all too familiar stutter of his hips alerting you to his own orgasm. You chant his name, all assortment of cuss words when that warmth fills you up. Exaltation, Leo fills pure exaltation when he fucks his release deep into you, marking you and securing that something of his remains within you.

He’s panting against your neck, the hard plates of his plastron moving against your own soft chest.

Leo nuzzles you, snout greedily inhaling you. You’re both tired, but never tired enough for the lazy kiss he begin to give you. You’re on autopilot, following his lead but too content to care if your kisses are sloppy.

He feels warm against you.

He feels so utterly perfect inside of you.

[whatdoidosatoru]

Check Yes Juliet

PART 2 of The Only Exception

This is part 2 of the previous work named First Date (the real ones will find the pattern) so technically that was CH1 :)

All the tags from that are valid for this part as well, Yuna is my OC that's barely described so feel free to imagine her however you'd like

part 1 - part 3 - part 4 - ao3

pairing: Keisuke Baji x OC (reader)

wc: 4.7k ishtags: smut, fluff, oral sex, vaginal sex, praise, fingering, baji is a simp, cum eating (kind of), they are very horny for each other, unprotected sex (they've taken some precautions okay I don't normally condone not wrapping it up)

Songs referenced or listened to while writing this chapter:

Empty With You - The Used

Crushcrushcrush - Paramore

I Don’t Wanna Be In Love - Good Charlotte

Be My Escape - Reliant K

Check Yes Juliet - We The Kings

Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore

Backseat Serenade - All Time Low

MDNI!!!!! 18+ only!

“Honey, what I’m hearing is that you had a romantic and passionate night with this man and you didn’t even get his last name?” Mai was shaking her head at me after hearing a rough report of my shenanigans with Keisuke last night. I stared ahead and kept picturing his soft, blissful expression lying on my bed, trapped by my thighs, me sitting on his cock, his hair pooling over my pillows that still held his scent and mine mixed together.

Why can’t I stop thinking about him?  

Mai stood up and walked to the side of the bed, noting my ripped-up panties on the floor, her eyebrow raised,

“And when did this happen?” I put the cup of coffee still steaming on the nightstand, catching a glimpse of the photo I had taken of him post-orgasm. She noticed it as well, picking it up to inspect it.

“He wanted me to keep the fishnets on so he ripped these off before going down on me.” Leaning back on the headboard, I took a moment to assess how sore my limbs felt, my insides still felt raw and aching. I lifted my hand to touch my neck where he scraped my skin with his teeth and left little bruises, that was going to need covering up before work. 

She wasn’t wrong, but at the same time she was.

She smirked at me, waving the photo around, “I didn’t realise you were so down bad for this guy, why would you take a photo of him lying, what I’m assuming is naked, on your bed?”

She brought it closer to my face, “This guy pushed you into the wall, but all you talk about is how he was gentle with you? What am I missing?”

I completely forgave him for that shove in the hallway of the club, he seemed genuinely sorry and like a completely different person than I had assumed he would be. No matter how insanely hot he was, he was also kind. And very giving. I smiled to myself, this morning I had the most satisfying gentle sex I’d ever had. None of my boyfriends had ever been that good. And he hadn’t complained about putting a condom on, which shouldn’t ever be as commendable as it was.

Mai reached to have a look at my bruised neck and collarbone, visibly annoyed, “We need to tone this down before work. Come on, I’ll make breakfast and try to cover up your nasty hickeys.” I could just drag myself after her into the kitchen.

How was she so chirpy and energetic? She stayed up until at least 5:30 in the morning, and the party was on until 5. 

“Mai, did you sleep at all last night?”

“Sleep is for the weak. I’m so beyond tired that a whole new wave of energy has taken over. I may drop halfway through the shift though so you need to step up for me, okay?”

“Of course, I’m taking over the schedule duty as well.”

We worked at a cinema not too far from our apartment and, although Mai normally handled the theatre schedule, I had to make sure she could at least get some easier jobs, considering she helped me get my sexual frustrations out last night and therefore sacrificed her sleep. 

Half an hour later, with my neck covered in four layers of concealer and colour corrector, we made our way to our work, completely unprepared to handle groups of screaming children and their disinterested parents. 

“You smell different, is that some new perfume?” She broke through my thoughts.

“I think it might be his scent, I assume that’s his shampoo because his hair smelled so divine.”

“Damn, Kakashi really is That Guy , isn’t he?”

With a playful shove, she started towards the only store room that had chairs for us to sit on, and I took a pen to try and figure out how to tackle today. 

“It’s Keisuke.”

“Whatever.”

~

Saturday nights were for the girls. After work and a shower, Hana and her girlfriend showed up at our apartment for a weekly pizza night. By the time it was my turn to catch them up on your week, everyone had already had their turn and normally my updates had always consisted of a very short summary of where I was with my research papers, how much I hated my Contemporary English professor, and what songs I was hyper fixating on. This time all I wanted to talk about was Keisuke. I had never got so hung up on real people, so this was a very interesting topic to all of them. 

“So as all of you may know, I brought a guy home last night,” I picked up another slice of pizza, “and now he’s basically all I can think about, it pains me to confess, but I sniffed the pillow he slept on several times today.” 

“Simp!” Asami fake-coughed into her hand, giving me a devilish grin to which I responded with a stuck-out tongue.

“I didn’t even get much of a look at him when he pushed me into a wall last night, but then I completely embarrassed myself in front of him and realised he’s actually so gorgeous and hot I wouldn’t have minded if he was some sort of serial killer as long as he put his hands on me.”

Mai pretended to vomit at that, Hana and Asami just chuckled at my dramatics. 

“Listen, I’m not one to obsess over guys this much, but something about him really drew me in and I was so stupid that I didn’t ask for his last name. Or his number!” I dropped my head into my hands and groaned, “Why didn’t I get his fucking number?”

Hana piped up, “Didn’t you say he worked at Pet Zone? You can always go find him there and ask him.”

“Don’t you think that might come off as a bit creepy,” Asami asked, “I mean if the roles were reversed, I’d definitely think it was some creepy guy who didn’t understand the concept of a one-night stand.”

“Asami, you think every guy is creepy and should be avoided at all costs,” quipped Mai.

Asami just shrugged and took a sip of her drink.

Hana reached out to get her glass, “By what you told us happened, he seemed to be really into you and maybe didn’t think you would want to continue seeing him. Just a thought, though.”

I was becoming more and more hopeful, “What if I just interpreted it wrong, though? What if I’m misremembering it because that was how I wanted things to happen?”

“I can always come with you to the shop and get some stuff for Kisu.” Hana and Asami had adopted a beautiful orange cat that was a menace to society, but I loved her so much that I regularly bought her Dreamies.

“You don’t think it would be painfully obvious? I don’t even know when his shifts are, he’s got university as well as work.” I felt myself whine a bit too much now.

Mai decided to finish this conversation by calming me down with a big hug and some reassurance.

“Babe, if Keito’s not there we’ll come again and again until we find him and you ask him out. If it takes us a month, then so be it, but you’re overthinking this. The way he kissed you on his way out didn’t look like he didn’t want to see you again.”

“Thank you, love. And his name is Keisuke.”

“I don’t think it is,” she winked at me. 

“I know what I screamed last night, my darling, and it’s definitely Keisuke.”

“I feel like it’s becoming a bit and I don’t want to stop it, so deal with it.” Mai ruffled my hair and went back to her glass of wine.

After a couple of hours, all of us went to bed, Mai had given Asami and Hana her own room so she shared with me. I lay my head on Keisuke’s…I mean, my pillow that Keisuke slept on and inhaled deeply. The scent was fading, I really needed to find him again.

Mai was deeply snoring while I lay with my eyes half-closed playing with his hair tie on my wrist. 

The next day Asami made her way to visit her parents, slightly regretting not going with us to the city centre. Mai, Hana, and I, as per usual, spent way too much time in the bookstore, gently caressing the spines of our favourite books, laughing at ridiculous covers, and making highly ambitious reading lists that we were never going to follow. The trip was a success as I managed to walk out with only two new books and three complimentary bookmarks.

Now, with a significantly lighter step, we went into a few clothes shops and there I realised I needed to get more underwear. Mentally cursing Keisuke for ripping the most comfortable pair, I picked out two new comfy pairs of panties and one lacy pair that I didn’t even know the occasion for. It just called to me, black lace with a red bow on the back seemed right up my alley. 

With a sigh, we went on to our final stop of the day, Pet Zone. This was it, all my hopes and dreams were riding on the good outcome of this situation. A gentle pat on the shoulder from Hana made me snap out of it, I patted my face to sober myself up and stepped inside.

~

The best thing about any pet shop is the fact that owners come in with their dogs and let them roam around the shop, so when I walked in and got greeted by three dogs at the same time, the only worry that was left on my mind was making sure I gave each of them an equal amount of attention.

Hana and Mai went to the cat aisle to browse while I was left barely five steps into the store, wishing I had three hands to give all of these good dogs love at the same time. 

“Uhm, hey there,” a muffled voice reached me. I looked up to see a slightly winded Keisuke with a hand over his mouth, trying to finish chewing his food.

“Hey, take your time, man” I tried to sound like this interaction hadn’t been on my mind for a whole day. 

“Sorry,” he swallowed, “I saw you on the security camera and ran back in before properly finishing my lunch.”

Was this guy for real? He cut his lunch break short because I walked into the shop? Was I hearing this correctly?

“Oh you really didn’t have to do that,” why did I sound so shy? This man had been inside of me two nights ago and now I was shy ?

“I was worried I’d miss you, what brings you here?” He still sounded a bit winded.

“Hana needs some stuff for her cat and we were out with her shopping so we just stopped by,” I motioned toward where Hana and Mai were playing with cat toys.

“Got anything interesting?” He pointed at my bookstore haul.

“Just some books I’m probably never going to get around to reading, but I needed a dopamine hit after feeling so down,” crap, that sounded a bit too desperate.

“What happened?” 

Sigh , “Well I thought you might not want to see me again…after that night.”

“W-What? I thought you didn’t want to see me anymore and that was why you didn’t ask for my phone number!” He started getting flustered.

“I thought you didn’t ask for my number because you weren’t interested,” I confessed, “are you telling me this all could’ve been avoided had both of us stopped overthinking for a damn minute?”

He started laughing, causing me to join him, oh my days he was so beautiful.

“I was rushing so much I didn’t grab my phone,” he passed me a piece of paper with the shop logo and address, and a pen to write my number down. I finished the note with a little black heart and gave it back to him, his face visibly more relaxed now. 

“And just so you know, you owe me a new pair of underwear,” I said in a lower tone, “don’t think I forgot.”

“I don’t think I can forget anything from that night,” he picked up my hand and played with his hair tie that was still on my wrist. I blushed and started to take it off to give it back to him, but he pushed it back on.

“Keep it. I took something of yours as well,” he lowered his head to my cheek and placed a gentle kiss. I tried to mentally remember if I noticed anything missing yesterday, but to no avail. I looked at him with a question, but he just grinned back at me.

“You’ll see, I guess you’re gonna have to meet me again to get it back, that is, if I feel generous.” 

With that, he walked back to finish his break, and I was left to locate my friends and report on the situation.

“What a weirdo, what did he take? Probably your underwear or something creepy.” Hana scrunched up her nose in distaste.

“I don’t think so, I’d notice if any were missing because I had to get new ones already. Also, I don’t think he had the time to do that, since if he wasn’t inside of me, he was next to me.”

Mai patted me on the shoulder with pride. “See, I told you it would work out, and you got yourself all worked up about him.”

“I mean, he is pretty, in a girlish kind of way,” Hana said, looking back at the store.

“I need him in my bed again.” I felt my insides twirling, longing to be full of him again.

“Damn, I don’t remember you being this horny with any of your exes.” Mai playfully pushed me forward.

“What can I say, six orgasms in a night can do that to a girl.”

“Rookie numbers,” Hana scoffed, making Mai and me laugh a bit too loud.

~

By the time Mai and I got home and unloaded everything we bought, I’d gotten a message from an unknown number that just said “What’s your favourite colour?”

Yuna, 14:12

?

xxxxxxxxxxx, 14:13

So I know what colour heart to put next to your name in my contacts c;

Yuna, 14:13

Keisuke?

xxxxxxxxxxx, 14:13

Well I hope you don’t have someone else that would ask you these things haha c:

Yuna, 14:14

oh thank the stars, you never know what weirdos there are out there. gotta be careful.

and i’m good with blue or black

Keisuke, 14:14

Got it ;) 

Yuna🖤💙, 14:15

what do you want me to put you as?

I broke out in laughter and Mai came into my room to check what was going on. I just shook my head and showed her the screen. 

Keisuke, 14:15

His Majesty Keisuke, King of My Vagina and Bringer of Infinite Pleasure 

“Kids…” she walked away with a smirk against her will.

Yuna🖤💙, 14:16

i’m leaning towards KeiSUCKe

Keisuke, 14:16

That’s what you’ll be doing later…

Yuna🖤💙, 14:16

later? 

are we doing something i’m not aware of?

Keisuke, 14:17

Can I come over tonight?

Yuna🖤💙, 14:17

any specific plans or just hanging out?

Keisuke, 14:17

Wherever the night takes us c:

Check yes, Yuna, are you with me?

Rain is falling down on the sidewalk

I won’t go until you come outside 

Yuna🖤💙, 14:18

serenading me with We The Kings? a man after my own heart <3

Keisuke, 14:18

Is that a yes?

Yuna🖤💙, 14:19

when can i expect you here?

Keisuke, 14:19

SHE SAID YES!!

Uhhh I mean, I’ll be there around 8, if that’s okay with you? c:

Yuna🖤💙, 14:20

hahaha of course. are you eating anything beforehand? we’re making pancakes..

Keisuke, 14:20

I’m having dinner with my brother after work, but thank you for asking c: 

I won’t complain if you save me one to try.

I sent him the address just in case he couldn’t remember where the building is and practically skipped out of the room. Mai was in the kitchen, enjoying a cup of tea, and waved me over to join her at our dining table. 

Yuna🖤💙, 14:21

See you then :)

“Based on your red cheeks and the smile that’s not coming off I’m going to guess the first text conversation went well?”

“He’s coming over tonight. At 8. I need to shower. I need to clean my room.”

“Oh good heavens, please tell me you’ll be in your room and not venture out into the bathroom again,” she rolled her eyes.

“We’ll try to behave. Maybe we won’t even have sex tonight, we’ll watch a film, talk for a bit…”

“...feed him your vagina and feast on his dick, yeah, yeah, I get it.”

“Seriously, Mai, this man is making me feel tingly just thinking about seeing him again, but I may actually want something more with him.”

Mai’s expression switched into concern. I knew she wanted what was best for me and to protect me from my own stupid mistakes, but I doubt anyone could have a chance with Keisuke and not jump on it.

“Just don’t obsess over him to the point where you can’t see the real world anymore. That’s all. I get it, he’s hot, but you deserve a 10/10 personality, and not just a 10/10 appearance.”

I kissed her cheek and headed for the bathroom to take a shower and get my shit together.

I changed my outfit for the third time when the doorbell rang. Mai got up from the couch to open and I walked out into the hallway just as Keisuke walked in.

“Hey Kento,” Mai greeted as he simply smirked at her.

“Hello Mina.” His eyes found me and, having taken his shoes off, he joined me in my bedroom.

Just as the door was shutting Mai got her last remark in, “No screaming!”

Keisuke chuckled and turned to me, looking me up and down.

“I didn’t think I’d get to see you again, how are you?” 

After breaking the kiss for a breathing break he lay back onto the pillow he slept on the other night and looked at me with amusement on his face. I got closer to him, unsure of what exactly to do.

I sat him down and joined him on the bed,

“I haven’t been able to get this stupid smile off my face ever since I walked out of your shop.” He caressed my cheek and I felt myself leaning into his touch when he pulled me closer to him and kissed me, taking my breath away.

“Did you want to put a film on?” He offered. To be completely honest, I wanted him naked, suck his soul out, and have him break me in half, but I may have been rushing into things. 

He must have noticed the want in my eyes, because he sat up, closing the distance between us, and held my face before whispering,

“Or maybe we could get this pent-up need out of the way first,” he kissed my lips gently, “and then be at peace for about,” breaking his sentence he bit my bottom lip, “let’s say half an hour before,” this time the kiss was deeper, needier, “enjoying each other a little bit more, hm?” 

He rolled me over onto my back and gripped me tight. His hand snaked through my t-shirt to hold my breast, eliciting a desperate moan right into his mouth. His kisses trailed down to my neck, scraping his protruding canines across my skin, with a deft movement he slid my top over my head, leaving my breasts exposed to his hungry eyes.

“It was almost physically painful, thinking that I wouldn’t see you again, that I wouldn’t get to do this.” I gasped when he took my nipple into my mouth, his tongue swirling over it as his teeth nipped it playfully. My hand immediately went to the back of his head, grabbing a fistful of his hair to ground me. The hand he didn’t use to hold himself up went between my legs, dipping under my underwear an d directly between my lips already needy for his attention.

When I rolled my hips up into his hand to get more friction he lifted his head up, flashing a devilish grin and licking the tips of his canines, making me slippery wet.

“Why did you even bother putting these on? We don’t need to rip another pair, do we?” If I wasn’t already turned on, that would’ve done it. His voice was low with a raspy tone that made me feel feral for him.

“Keisuke please, I need your tongue”, I whined. With a grin he pulled down my panties and tossed them aside, his fingers still stroking lazily along my folds. I felt my breath hitch every time he passed the clit, desperately trying to raise my hips to meet his touch. 

“Patience, gorgeous, we’ll get there. I want to make you a bit needier first.”

Wow, what an asshat.

“Keisuke I’m-ah-I’m begging you, touch me, fuck,” my pleading seemed to work because he immediately dipped his head down and started feasting on my needy pussy. He moaned into my puffy lips, flicking his tongue over and around the clit, making me ascend with pleasure. My hand flew back to his head to grip his hair which dragged out a beautiful moan from his soft lips, now wet with my juices, buried in between my legs. His tongue was desperate, accompanied by his fingers pushing inside of me, curling to rub me just right and make me nearly scream into the dark room.

“Hold me tighter, sweetheart,” he squeezed out in between licks, making my grip tighten and I hoped I didn’t accidentally pull his hair out. Feeling another moan directed into my clit sent me into ecstasy, I could hear my heart thumping and my ears focusing on the sounds of Keisuke lapping up my juices like there was no tomorrow, and with that I came on his skilful tongue,

“K-fuuck Keisuke!” The look on his face was hungry for more, he wiped his face with his own hand and licked the wetness off. 

I reached for my drawer to get a condom, but he stopped my hand, grabbing his phone instead and showing me the screen. It was some kind of document, and when I tried to focus on reading it he explained,

“I got tested on Thursday, got the results yesterday,” he pointed at the bottom of the screen, “Completely clean.”

That made things a bit easier and possibly more exciting. “I’m on the pill and haven’t had sex in over a year. Got tested right after…the last time and I’m also clean.” 

His smile seemed to grow with every word I said so I dropped the condom and went right to taking off his clothes. When he was naked in front of me, his cock glistening with precum in all his glory, I reached to touch his lean body, admiring the pale skin of his stomach, littered with scars. I felt the sudden urge to kiss every single one of them. He gently pushed me back and grabbed one of my hair bobbles from the nightstand, holding it in his teeth to collect all the hair in a ponytail.

That trick is so hot, I needed his teeth all over me . 

He positioned himself in front of my entrance and started teasing his tip over my needy hole and puffy lips.

“You have no idea how much I wanted to feel you on my cock,” he looked down to where we were connected, “to feel your pussy squeeze me and make me weak.”

“What’s the holdup then, Keisuke-fuck- fuck ..ah fuck me already!” He didn’t need another push, he slammed into me, making me cry out, and lowered himself down on top of me to kiss me deeply before pulling almost all the way out and pushing in again. 

I was losing myself in him, his slow pants and moans directly into my ear were making it damn difficult to slow down the wave of pleasure that was swallowing me. My nails were leaving marks on his back, only encouraging him to go faster and harder. When I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I bit his lip and came with the most desperate moan. 

Keisuke lifted me up and switched positions, sitting up against the headboard and me sitting on his cock. Then I began bouncing myself on him and rolling my hips, his hands firmly on my hips helping me keep pace. I threw my head back and let out a groan while he attacked my collarbone with his teeth. 

Still keeping a steady pace, he licked up to my ear,

“You feel so good wrapped around my cock, taking it whole. Such a good girl so full of me. You’re all mine , all mine , just mine to- fuck -to please.” I quickly brought my head back to look at his face. The hunger in his eyes, his forehead sweating and loose strands of hair sticking to him. He looked feral, just like he had said I made him feel, with his distinguished canines. I took it all in.

“All yours?” I managed to squeeze out, holding onto his shoulders for balance.

“All mine. I’m not letting you go fuuck I need you. I need to hear you cum for me again. Say you’re mine.”

Through pants I whined, “I’m yours! I’m- fuck- I’m all yours! Take me how you want me Keisuke! Ah fuck I’m cumming all yours!”  

That made him trap my lips in his, swallowing my cry and fucking me through another orgasm. Slowing down slightly to give me some rest he swapped us back to the previous position, this time not leaning over me, but looking down at my naked form, still fucking into me.

“You look so good like this, a hot mess all because of me. Tell me you’re mine.”

I started slurring my words, “‘m all yours, Keisuke. I’m yours. Fuck keep going please…”

My pleasure began to build again, this time threatening to take me fast, almost crossing into overstimulation. My walls began tightening around his cock and his hip movements started getting irregular - he was getting close to finishing.

“Where do you want me to cum, sweetheart?” I couldn’t form my words properly anymore, I was so drunk on his cock hitting my cervix with each slam into me.

“ Ah inside please please Keisuke come inside me fuck,” that was the last straw for him, with a final grunt and thrust, he spilt inside of me. Just as I felt his warm sperm coat my insides, I came again, this time unable to take any more friction. He slowly pulled out and lowered himself to take a closer look at my leaking pussy. He smiled at me,

“You look so good with my cum spilling out of you.” With that, he licked my entrance, making me twitch with sensitivity, and hovered over me, kissing me with his sperm still on his tongue, making me taste the  mix of both, his cum and mine.

I couldn’t find the strength to reach for wet wipes to clean myself up, but he was already on it as soon as I pointed in their general direction. He cleaned me up, gently trying not to overstimulate me again, and tossed the wipes in the bin. I closed my eyes, completely exhausted, when I felt him climb into bed next to me and gently pull me closer to him. He kissed my sweaty forehead and I could hear him softly whisper, “You’re mine .”

If you've come this far then you may as well rb or like :) Constructive criticism is welcome as I hadn't written anything in YEARS before this so I am rusty af and don't have a beta reader :)

[daddy-dins-girl]

Kindred - Chapter One

Kindred.

So I rewatched WW84 two nights ago and the next day I had 5k of Max Lord fic written (idk what happened). But anyway, lmk if you want to see a part 2!

Main MasterlistSeries Masterlist

AO3 Link

Chapter 2

Summary: You’ve nannied for your share of families including a lot of workaholic parents but never have you met anyone that runs themselves as ragged as Maxwell Lord seems to.

Tonight a thought occurs to you that maybe Mr. Lord just needs to let go, for one night. And maybe you could give that to him.

Maxwell Lord x f!Reader (Nanny)

Word Count: 4.8k

Notes: Takes place a couple years before the events of WW84. Reader has no defined age so it can be whatever you want. I'm not sure how old Alistair is supposed to be in 84, but in this fic he's about 6ish (so no baby talk or screaming toddlers here folks!).

Warnings: 18+ MDNI. Smut. Oral sex. Explicit language. Light dom/sub. Light bondage (Max's neck tie comes in handy). Max's hair is it's own warning.

...

“Hi Mr. Lord” you smile sweetly at your boss as the front door swings open to allow you inside. You’re met, as per usual, by the sight of your employer looking - in a word - exasperated. He sighs when he sees you; in relief you assume, and runs a hand through his golden chestnut locks that constantly fall across his forehead. He’s dressed smartly in a blue pin striped suit with a stark white shirt and navy tie with a gold paisley pattern which hangs loose and slightly askew around his neck. You assume he’s been tugging at it, something you noticed he does when he gets overly stressed which, granted, is pretty often. 

You’ve nannied for your share of families including a lot of workaholic parents but never have you met anyone that runs themselves as ragged as Maxwell Lord seems to. You know why he does it; that he’s trying to build an empire, something to leave to his son (with whom he splits custody of with his ex-wife) and to be able to provide everything for his son that he never had. But spending so much time with his son Alistair, you see the other side of it as well and sympathize. All Alistair wants is for his father to actually get home in time to read him a bedtime story, or go to the park for a game of catch, or show up at school for Career Day like everyone else’s parents. 

“Thank you for coming so quickly” Maxwell finally breathes as both his hands reach out and grab yours, gently pulling you inside. “My ex-wife had a family emergency with her mother and needed to go out of town and had to drop Alistair off. I know this is normally your week off, I appreciate you coming”

“Of course, Mr. Lord, it’s no trouble, really” you assure him. Truly you didn’t mind, you could always use the extra money. You liked the schedule with the Lord’s. Two weeks on, two weeks off. In your off time from nannying you peddled beauty products and rented a chair at a local hair salon near your apartment. Giving haircuts to suburban housewives was a great way to boost your side business of selling cosmetics and skin care products. You had clients at the salon who would often hire you to come to small lunches they would host for their girlfriends where you could give a small presentation of the products you sold and it was an easy way for you to make money and add to your growing client list. Mr. Lord had even surprised you by becoming a client. He had come home one night to you filling out orders in a receipt book at the kitchen table, a few skin care products strewn about the table as you readied to package them up and he was instantly curious as to what you were selling. You were embarrassed at first, for technically working for your other job while on the clock for him but he instantly waved you off. Alistair had already been asleep for hours and he assured you that not only did he not mind, but he was impressed by your work ethic. He handled a few of the products, carefully reading the small print on the bottles and you noted his curiosity before pulling out the catalog from your purse and suggesting a few items for him to try.

“Makes you glow like a teenager” You had smiled at him as you explained one of the serums to him and he had his checkbook out within minutes, placing his first order.

You would have to rearrange a few of the haircuts you had scheduled for this week but most of your clients were housewives with flexible enough schedules that you were confident you could rearrange them to times where Alistair would be in school, so you weren’t worried about it. And your cosmetic business was mostly a work from home endeavor anyway, aside from the few weekly home deliveries you made which could also be done during school hours. During your “on weeks” at the Lord’s you lived there. It was just easier due to Maxwell’s ever changing and highly busy schedule. He was out of the house at the early morning hours and typically didn’t return until long after the sun was set. Even most weekends he was in and out of the office, trying to be home whenever he could but with his business still being in the early stages of growth, it was a necessary evil.

You were more than just a babysitter for Alistair. You cooked and cleaned and did whatever you could to make Maxwell’s life easier. In the beginning he tried to insist you didn’t need to do as much as you did, that he knew he didn’t pay you enough for all the work you put in, but you quickly brushed him off, ensuring him that not only were you happy to do it, but it gave you something to do when Alistair was asleep or otherwise occupied. He eventually stopped trying, knowing you’d do it regardless, and every few months (presumably when he’d had a good month at work and could afford it) you’d notice a couple of extra bills in the envelope of cash he’d hand you at the beginning of your work week. It wasn’t much, but you appreciated that he appreciated you. At the end of the day you were both just trying to hustle your way through life; Maxwell was just a more successful version of yourself, in a way. You were kindred spirits, it’s probably why you got along as well as you did.

The fact that you found your boss to be devastatingly handsome didn’t hurt either, you supposed.

“Who is it Daddy?” You heard Alistair's excited voice call out as hurried footsteps came barreling towards the front entryway. He slid to a stop in his socked feet and hands instinctively wrapped around his father’s leg as he peered up at you with the same large chestnut coloured eyes as his fathers.

“It’s our Angel, come to save the day again buddy” Max smiled down at his son, ruffling a hand through his dark brown locks.

“So you’re going back to work tonight?” Alistair’s face fell slightly, along with your heart, as his fingers picked absently at the crease in Max’s pant leg.

“Hey,” You quickly sprang into action, squatting down to be eye level with Alistair and nudging at his chin with your finger to get him to look up at you. “I brought you something” you begin, a grin spreading across your lips as you reach into your purse at your side.

“A present?!” Alistair’s eye’s light up suddenly and it makes you smile.

“Well, sort of, but it’s on loan” you explain as you pull the rented VHS tape out of your bag and hold it out in front of you.

“ET!” the boy all but shrieks. His Dad had taken him to see it at the drive-in when it had first come out and he hadn’t stopped talking about it since. When Raquel, Mr. Lord’s assistant, had called you a couple hours ago to explain the situation and asking if you could step in this week, you knew the boy might be overly emotional; his grandmother being ill and his father undoubtedly rushing off to work the moment you arrived at their doorstep. You had a feeling this would cushion the blow and your instincts were right on the money as he jumped up and down excitedly at you.

“Can we put it on now?” He asked, his excitement barely contained as he bounced up and down on his heels.

“Tell you what, why don’t we order a pizza and we can watch it with our dinner”

“Yay!” Alistair shouts, turning on his heel and running off to the kitchen, undoubtedly to browse the pizza menu stuck to the fridge with a magnet.

“I’m getting pepperoni!” You hear him yell from the kitchen and you huff a laugh at his eagerness as you straighten back up and face your employer once again.

“Thank you, honestly sometimes I don’t know what I’d do without you” Mr. Lord tells you honestly and you smile, placing a hand on his bicep.

“Happy to help” you tell him. And you are. Maxwell and Alistair have become this sort of part-time family of yours and you’d do anything for them.

“I better get in there before he starts dialing and orders half the restaurant” you joke before bringing your hands up to fix Max’s tie around his neck until it’s tightened and straight, your hand brushing down the silken material slightly and then patting your palm against it once.It’s something you’ve never done to him before and you have no idea what came over you in the moment, the act feeling strangely intimate but you quickly clear your throat, take a step back and give him an easy smile.

“Don’t work too hard” you tell him before you brush past him to go after Alistair, knowing he won’t actually heed the advice, but you say it anyway.

You hear the front door open and close as you reach Alistair in the kitchen, grabbing the phone off the wall to place the order and get your evening started.

…

It’s well past ten when you hear the door open again, signaling Maxwell’s arrival home. You look up from the kitchen table where you’d been flipping through a magazine and watch him as he places his briefcase on the floor before his large frame envelops the open doorway to the kitchen. He leans against the wall, tie hanging loosely around his neck again and hair falling across his forehead.

“Alistair?” He asks hopefully, though you're pretty certain he already knows the answer.

“Asleep” You shrug and his face falls slightly.

“Of course, it’s late” he sighs, pulling his arm up to look at his watch. “Lost track of time I guess” he mumbles and you frown. He looks exhausted, hands running through his hair again.

“It’s getting long” you say, not meaning too it just comes out; occupational hazard you suspect.

“What?” He questions, not sure what you mean.

“Your hair” you nod in his direction. “When was the last time you had it cut?”

“Oh, um, I'm not sure…” Max trails off, thinking. He knows it has been too long. He had to skip his last appointment because an investor meeting had come up and he’d forgotten to ask Raquel to reschedule him.

You stand up, your feet moving of their own accord until you’re standing right in front of him at the kitchen doorway and you bring your left hand up to gently run through the few stray locks that are normally slicked back but have now curtained across his forehead.

“I could trim it for you” you say, your eyes glued to his hair and not even noticing how close you’re standing to him or that his gaze is fixed on you, his Adam's apple bobbing heavy in his throat.

“I… couldn’t ask you to do that” he says finally, running his own hand through his hair as you pull yours away.

“No, really, I insist, come here” you take both your hands and grab for one of his, pulling him further into the kitchen and sliding a chair out.

“I have my stuff here, I was going to give Alistair a trim this week anyway” you shrug. “Sit, I’ll be right back” you instruct and he sighs but dutifully does as you ask.

You return a couple minutes later with your supplies and a towel that you secure around his neck. You go to the sink and fill your spray bottle with water so you can mist it through his hair to get it wet enough to cut before you begin your work.

“You have a great head of hair, I see where Alistair gets it from” you comment as your fingers rake through it from the top of his scalp to the back of his neck. It was true. A lot of your male clients around Mr. Lord’s age were already showing a receding hairline and none of them had hair as thick as his. “I don’t think you have to worry about going bald anytime soon” you joke and you hear him chuckle softly.

“Thank you, you really didn’t have to do this” Max says into the stillness of the room while you continue to trim and run your hands through his hair, ensuring all the ends are even.

“It’s kind of fun when it’s not work,” you shrug. Plus you really didn’t mind running your hands through Max’s hair, not that you’d ever admit that to him. You’d been dying to do it since you met him. Soft, luscious locks begging for a pair of hands other than his own to run through them.

You finish the trim, place the scissors down on the table and take an extra few seconds to run both hands through his hair, your nails raking gently against his scalp as you style his hair the way he likes it.

“There” you smile at your handiwork before reaching for the handheld mirror on the table and holding it up for him to take. His hand wraps around yours on the handle of the mirror as he brings it in front of him, his free hand running through his hair to inspect the length.

“It’s perfect, thank you. Feels much better” he beams at you through the mirror with his megawatt smile that makes your knees weaken and you bite your lip, looking away quickly as heat rises in your cheeks.

“Just glad I could help” you tell him before you untuck the towel from the collar of his dress shirt and sweep it off his shoulders, balling it up before any loose hair falls onto the floor and placing it on the seat of a nearby chair so you can take it to the laundry room later. You're standing up straight behind him again and before you can talk yourself out of it, you rest your hands on his broad shoulders and start kneading, instantly feeling the tight knots of muscles beneath his dress shirt.

“Oh, um” Max startles slightly in the chair, turning his head as far to the side as he can to try and look at you.

“Sorry” you quickly pull your hands from his shoulders as if you’d been burned and Max turns his body in his seat so he’s sitting sideways on the chair, his elbow resting on the back.

“It’s ok” Max assures, large brown eyes looking up at you. “But, you don’t have to… I mean I don’t expect…” he trails off and you quickly come to the understanding that he’s not mad at you for touching him or doesn’t even not want you to.

An idea comes to your head as you stare down at the big puppy dog eyes of the exhausted man staring back at you. A man that deserves so much more than what life has thrown at him. It’s a risky idea, sure, and could potentially ruin everything you’ve built with this family over the last several months but something just comes over you and takes hold and you can’t seem to shake it off.

“Turn your chair around to face me, and bring it forward a bit, away from the table” you instruct, taking a few steps back so he has room. His eyes glance over you for a few moments, studying to see if you’re being serious or not before he finally swallows and nods, silently obeying your orders. He turns the chair and sits on it properly again, his hands going under the seat so he can shuffle it forward slightly so it's not backed right up against the table, his eyes never leaving you from where you stand a foot or so away, leaned against the kitchen island in front of him.

Satisfied with where he sits, you take the two steps across the kitchen to reach him again and your hands go back to his shoulders, this time rubbing up and down the material of the dark blue suspenders for a few moments before your fingers hook underneath them and slide them down his arms. You catch the shudder he releases but neither of you comment on it.

“You’re always working so hard” you sigh as you run a hand through his hair again before bringing it to run down the side of his face and his eyes close voluntarily at your touch. “Taking care of Alistair, of your clients, your business” you continue, both hands now fiddling with the tie at his neck, loosening it further.

“Who takes care of you?” You ask, though not expecting an answer, and he doesn’t give you one. Just swallows thickly instead, breathing heavily through his nose.

You successfully loosen the tie completely before sliding it off of him, wrapping the silk around your hands briefly to feel the fine fabric. You put one hand on his shoulder and step around him until you’re behind him and squat down as each of your hands grab for his arms and pull them behind his back until his wrists are together and you lay the silk fabric of the tie over top of them.

“Is this ok?” You ask, mouth next to his ear now and he quickly nods his head.

“Yes” he manages to breathe out and you go back to your task of securing the tie around his wrists, giving it a gentle tug when you're finished to make sure it's not too tight but also that he can’t wriggle free too easily.

You take a steadying breath while still behind him before raising up to your feet again. You’ve never actually done anything like this before and your hands are nearly shaking, your entire body buzzing with excitement but you try to will yourself to relax. Max needs this, and you can do it. You can give him what he needs and what he’d never ask you for.

Settling your shoulders and holding your head high, you finally step back around him until you’re in front of him again.

“Good boy” you praise him once you’re facing him again; hand coming up to rest on his cheek and he closes his eyes at the warmth of your palm against his skin.

“Poor baby, just needs someone to take care of him, don’t you?” you tease, your thumb brushing against his cheek.

“Yes, Angel” Max sighs, his eyes finally opening again to meet yours. You notice the endearment slip, the same one he had used this morning and it gives you butterflies. You take another steadying breath to reign yourself in so you don't end up untying him and letting him do whatever he wants with you. God knows you want to, but you want tonight to be just for him.

“I’m going to take good care of you, aren’t I Maxwell?” You whisper and his eyes close again upon hearing his first name come from your lips. You had always called him Mr. Lord, but tonight, he was just Maxwell.

Placing a hand on each of his shoulders, you lower yourself onto his lap, straddling him with each of your legs on either side of his and you can feel him already growing hard beneath you. Max’s chest is heaving as he tries to maintain some type of control over his body, his heart beating wildly underneath his pressed white dress shirt as your hands glide up and down from the tops of his shoulders to the middle of his chest.

“I think I like you like this” you purr, lower half grinding up against his to create some friction and a moan slips from his lips as he thrusts his hips up to meet yours. “You don’t have to think, don’t have to act, just be free… just be with me, baby” you tell him before you lean forward and capture his lips with yours, both of you moaning into the kiss when your mouths open and tongues meet. His lips are soft, as soft as you’d always fantasized they’d be. His tongue explores your mouth greedily, desperate to taste every part of you, lick into every cavern. You’d always imagined he’d be a great kisser but you had no idea how amazing he’d be. You’re so lost in the kiss you almost forget your plan all together, wanting to just stay in this moment with him for as long as your lung capacities would allow. Your hands are in his hair now, fingers running through the soft waves, and he groans into your mouth before he pulls back suddenly.

“Angel, please. Let me hold you, touch you” he all but whines, squirming underneath you and you almost break, feeling defenseless against his pleas, but you hold steady and straighten up in his lap again.

“Not tonight baby. Tonight is for you. This is what I want, and you want to please me, don’t you Maxwell?”

“Yes” he nods, his voice trembling.

It’s clear that giving up control is not something Max is used to, but you know he needs it, likes it even - if the evidence currently pressing against your thigh is any indication.

“Good boy” you praise again and when his cock twitches against your leg, your eyebrows raise at him in surprise.

“You like being my good boy, Maxwell?” You tease, rewarding him with a forceful press of your pelvis into his groin and he moans, biting his lower lip.

“Yes”

“You feel so good baby” you moan, rocking into him, your hands around the back of his neck now. “So big and hard for me” you praise and a whine escapes his lips as he tries to meet your thrusts with his own as much as he can within the confines of the chair he’s tied to.

You lean your face forward until your mouth is on the shell of his ear and you gently pull the lobe between your teeth before soothing over it with your tongue. “Want you in my hand, in my mouth” you confess breathily against his ear and he whimpers. “Can I take you out baby?”

Max eagerly nods, not trusting his own voice and you nip at his earlobe again. “Words, baby” you remind him.

“Yes” he breathes. “Take my cock out, it’s yours Angel”

He sounds absolutely wrecked already and you love it. You bring your attention to his waist and pop open the button to his trousers, sliding down the zipper before your hand pushes eagerly inside to cup him over his briefs.

“Oh, baby” Max sighs, hanging his head down so he can see your hand rubbing along his shaft covered in expensive soft black cotton.

“Is this my cock, Maxwell?” You ask, feeling more emboldened by the minute as Max turns into absolute putty under your hands.

“Yes. Fuck. Yeah baby, all yours”

You remove your hand from him for just a few seconds so you can tug his pants down to his thighs and then shove the front of his briefs down so you can take him out of the confines of his underwear and see him in all his glory. And what a glorious site it is, indeed, you think to yourself.

Max hisses when you pull his length out and run your hand down it once. He’s long and too thick for you to be able to wrap your hand all the way around it. The head is dark and purple and already leaking precum. “It’s beautiful, just like you baby” you tell him before you lean forward to press a quick kiss to his lips and smile at him. “Gonna make you feel so good” you promise before easing yourself off of his lap and onto your knees instead and Max groans, tossing his head back.

You start with teasing little licks and kisses to the head before going lower and licking a long stripe up the underside of his cock and Max moans from above you. “Tastes good too” you tell him before your mouth closes around the fat head and sucks gently, causing Max to buck his hips up into you.

“Stay still” you scold, immediately taking your mouth off of him to look up at him. “Don’t be a naughty boy” you warn as you grip both of his thighs tightly.

“Oh, fuck” Max groans, eyes closing and head falling back again. It's clear he’s loving this, loving you being in control of him. Another bead of precum dribbles out and slides down his dick and you quickly duck down to catch it on your tongue and lick a stripe up his length again. This time Max remains still, his breaths coming out harder through his nose as he concentrates on remaining still.

“Good boy” you praise before bringing your whole mouth down on him, swallowing down as much of his length as your throat will allow and repeating the process over and over, head bobbing up and down on his cock with enthusiasm.

“Oh baby, shit. Holy shit Angel” Max whines as he watches you choke on his dick. Your eyelashes flutter up at him as you watch him watch you. He looks completely fucked out, his pupils blown wide, shoulders tense under the white dress shirt where he’s pulling against the restraints behind him, desperate to reach for you, to touch you.

You moan into his cock. Watching him completely lose himself in you is doing all kinds of things to your body. You can feel yourself soaking your panties, getting off on the pleasure you’re giving him and you bring a hand up to wrap around his length and work him up and down for what your mouth can’t reach.

When the back of your throat needs a break you focus your mouth on his head instead, swirling your tongue around and underneath the tip while your hand continues pumping his shaft, wet with your saliva and easily sliding up and down the length.

“Oh Angel, you feel so fucking good” Max praises.”Oh fuuuuuuck” His breathing has become even more erratic and you know he’s getting close so you double your efforts, taking his whole length in your mouth again and hollowing out your cheeks as you slide him down your throat and swallow. The sounds of wet saliva and your lips smacking and swallowing his cock are positively sinful as they bounce off the kitchen walls and back to your ears and it urges you on, bobbing faster and faster up and down his cock, your hand pumping and gently squeezing him in tandem with your mouth.

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck. Baby!” Max whines and you know it's a warning. Rather than lifting off of him you moan into him instead and continue sucking and tugging at him, urging him to finish in your mouth.

“Oh Christ, Angel. I’m coming, I’m coming. Fuck!” Max warns before you feel his hot spend hit the back of your throat in spurts and you continue moaning and swallowing around his cock, milking him of every last drop until his hips finally still and you swallow once more before releasing him with a pop and laying your head to rest on his thigh to take a breath.

“Oh my God” Max heaves a sigh and you feel all the tension leave his body and a smile crosses your lips. You move your head forward just a little to press a kiss to his shaft before you straighten up on your knees again and tuck him back into his underwear.

“Angel, fucking untie me, please” he begs desperately and you quickly oblige him, reaching behind the chair to tug at the knot until it comes free, the silk falling to the floor and Max’s arms shoot out the moment they’re free and tug you up off the floor and back onto his lap as his strong arms circle around your back and hold you tight to his chest, hugging you like you’re a life raft and he could just float away into nothing if you weren’t there to anchor him.

“Angel you are so perfect to me” he sighs, nuzzling against the side of your face.”I… didn’t even know I needed that” he admits and you smile, leaning back so you can look at him.

“I know baby” you coo, running a hand through his hair again before resting it on his cheek. “Told you I’d take care of you”

“And… I want to take care of you, too” Max shrugs, his eyes pleading with yours as his hands run absently across your back.

“Another time” you tell him, pressing a kiss to the tip of his strong nose. Max’s shoulders fall but he nods in understanding.

“Do you promise?” He asks, bringing his large hands to run up and down your sides.

“I promise, Mr. Lord” you smile sweetly at him.

...

Chapter two

Tagging some of my Maxwell girlies @boliv-jenta @suzdin

If you wanna be tagged there is an update, lmk!

[hslllot]

insieme in paradiso

“together in paradise”

rated m | 2.7k words

better late than never, right? this is a short piece for my dear friend’s @harry-on-broadway​ fic challenge (the prompts used are in bold)! It is basically an extended version of this concept I wrote back in 2021... We’ve had such great latam content lately that I feel like I should have adjusted the setting of this, but I hope you enjoy anyways! As always, please let me know what you think. xx shan

———

Was this heaven?

You were certain that you’d never felt more relaxed as you bathed in the Tuscan sunlight. Lounging beside your love, you let your eyes close, the book you were reading abandoned in the sand next to your chair ages ago. Every worry, every stressor, every bit of tension in your muscles that you carried with you drifted away in the winds of the ocean breeze. 

This was the private getaway with Harry you’d been longing for. It seemed like forever since the two of you were able to spend an extended amount of time alone together. 

“Mum just posted this photo. Look. Thea’s getting so big.” Your boyfriend interrupted your daze when he reached out from beside you to shove his phone in your face.  

You opened your eyes slowly and lowered your sunglasses so you could take a proper look. Using your hand to shield the glare of the Italian sun, you saw on his screen an Instagram story his mother had posted of his cousin’s baby. 

“She’s adorable, H.” You responded, adjusting your sunglasses back to cover your eyes. “We should give Ella a call later, maybe we can FaceTime.” All you heard in response was a short grunt as he laid back in his chair, eyes still fixed on his screen.

He was grumpy and you could tell. 

One thing about your boyfriend of three years, which you found incredibly endearing, was that he loved his family more than anything. Unfortunately, when his family was gathered and he couldn’t be there, he’d tend to get a bit pouty. You’d find him glued to the group chat or Instagram to get updates on what they were up to. Sometimes you would catch him ‘liking’ or ‘reacting’ to their posts and stories (on his private account of course) in an attempt to make himself feel more included. 

Birthdays. Weddings. Babies. There was a long list of family events he often had to miss because of his job, and you knew it weighed heavily on his heart. 

A small part of you was slightly annoyed that he wished he were somewhere else. But another part of you, perhaps the more compassionate part, understood that multiple truths could exist at once: 1) He was happy to be spending time with you, 2) he was grateful for his job that took him to beautiful countries and allowed him to live a lavish life, and 3) he missed his family dearly. 

But sometimes you didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just go home and visit them whenever he felt like it. He certainly could afford it, and he had the power in all of his business relationships to take a vacation whenever he felt like it. Sometimes you wished he had more of a ‘diva’ type attitude when it came to certain things, like allowing himself to take breaks from work. However, another thing about your boyfriend was that he was a chronic overachiever and people pleaser with a tendency to overcommit to new projects. And you figured it wasn’t so bad to have a partner in life who was considerate of other peoples’ time and feelings. 

Plus, you couldn’t complain much because his commitment to a new project was how you found yourself at the beautiful, private, Il Pellicano in Tuscany. 

The two of you were finally spending some much needed quality time together. Coordinating your schedules had been an absolute nightmare and it was a miracle that you were able to take some time away from work to join him on this trip. He was technically here on business, preparing for the launch of his Gucci collection with Alessandro. But you had spent the majority of the trip together, watching him model his clothing, sitting side-by-side on the small private beach of your villa, and wrapped around one another in the bedroom.

At the moment though, Harry’s frustration, guilt, and longing to be with his family was threatening to penetrate the bubble of relaxation surrounding you. You could feel the restless energy emanating off of him. Without opening your eyes you heard the way he moved around in his chair and sighed under his breath as he scrolled through his phone and typed away messages in his family group chat. When you finally did open your eyes you found him on his stomach, his head at the other end of the chair near your feet, and his phone two inches from his face. And while this position afforded you a great view of his tanned back and taut muscles glistening in the Italian heat, clad only in a small pair of black swimming shorts, you could feel the tension radiating from him and you couldn’t ignore it any longer. 

You reached across and placed your hand on the back of his calf, rubbing your thumb back and forth against his warm, sun-kissed skin, as if to soothe him.

“Hey baby?”

“Hmmm?” He responded mindlessly, not bothering to look up from his phone. 

“Hey, look at me.” You urged, squeezing his calf to gain his attention. 

“Sorry” he murmured, putting his phone down. He twisted in the lounge chair to face you, sitting up to give you his full attention. You reached for his hand and intertwined your fingers with his. 

“I was thinking… I know we’re supposed to head back to London on Sunday, but what if we took a few days in Holmes Chapel?” He raised an eyebrow at you curiously, wordlessly asking where this had come from. You continued, “It’s been so long since we’ve seen Anne and I miss her… Plus, we’ve only seen Thea once since she’s been born. I think I can extend my vacation by a few days.”

He sat there for a moment silently, teasing at his bottom lip.

“I have a meeting with Lambert and Molly on Monday in London.” He winced, remembering his prior commitment.

“Surely you can do it over Zoom. Or just push it a couple days. You are the boss, aren’t you?” 

Something flickered in his eyes and a slight smirk crept his lips at your mention of him being the boss. 

His gears were turning and you knew him well enough to know the battle going on inside his brain. He probably didn’t love the idea of moving a meeting to go see his mum, but since it was technically your idea it was like a free pass. He could feel less guilty about it because he was doing it for you. 

(Obviously you both knew this was entirely for him… But you needn’t say it)

You thought he might pass on the opportunity, and were startled when he removed his hand from yours and scrambled up from his lounge chair. He quickly moved onto your chair, straddling you with his entire body weight pinning you down. With his forearms rested on either side of your head, he placed quick kisses all over your face. Almost reflexively, you wrapped your hands around his biceps. His hot, sinewy arms flexed in your grip. 

“Yeah,” is all he said before placing a long, slightly wet, kiss on your forehead. “I AM the boss. And I would like that very much. Thank you for suggesting it.” Unable to wipe the smile from his face, he placed one more tender kiss on your lips.

You reached for the sunglasses that sat atop his head and removed them, freeing space for you to run your fingers through his soft brown curls. “You’re welcome, H.” He lowered into your touch, eager for a cuddle. “But you have to get up. You’re squishing me.”

“Right, sorry.” He removed himself from on top of you and took a seat by your feet at the end of the chair. It was his turn to soothe you now, grazing his palm along your calf and up to your knee, which he gave a squeeze before dragging his hand back down.

“I think it’s time we get out of the sun, yeah?” The sly look on his face was all too familiar as his gaze trailed down your bikini-clad body. “You’re lookin’ a little sunburnt.”

“Am I?” You teased.

“I’ve got something I can rub on it back in our room.”

You rolled your eyes at him, feigning annoyance at his flirtation. Nonetheless, you knew where this was headed.

Gathering your belongings hastily, you were both eager to make your way back to the air conditioned room that held your luxurious king bed. You trailed behind Harry, climbing the stone steps up to the private entrance of your villa hand in hand. 

Once inside your room, you dropped your tote bag and walked over to the balcony, sliding open the curtains and the door to let the sunshine and salt air filter through the room. Looking out at the scene below, you could see the private beach where you and Harry had spent your morning and admired the way the Tuscan sun illuminated the sapphire blue ocean ahead. You took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as you felt Harry come to stand closely behind you.

“Thank you for bringing me here.” You said quietly. Harry wrapped his arms around you from behind, allowing you to rest your chin on his forearms. He nuzzled his face into your neck where he left a delicate touch of his lips.

“Thank you for being here with me.” He responded. 

Any annoyance you previously felt toward your boyfriend’s proclivity for FOMO melted away when you realized how grateful you were to be here with him. In the chaos of his busy life, while he missed his family deeply, he chose to be here with you, together in paradise. 

You turned yourself in his arms, your body flush against his, to find his soft, yet intense, gaze on your lips. 

Harry held lightly onto your hips. Leaning in, his lips parted, and you could feel his warm breath against yours. You placed your hands on his chest, his skin burning under your fingers. With every shallow intake of breath he edged closer, until finally catching your top lip between his.

His hands trailed up your sides as your kiss became deeper, fuller. You felt like you might melt against him, heat racing down to every part of your body that was touching his. He roamed your curves and the expanse of your back, pressing you even closer to him, before finding the strings that held together your bikini. With two gentle tugs, the piece of fabric fell to the ground. 

He broke away from your kiss only briefly to study the sight of you, topless, in front of him. “Bellissima,” he whispered, his voice deep and slow. You saw the muscles in his jaw tick as his gaze burned holes through you. It was your turn, this time, to grab onto him and press him closer against you, feeling his hardness. 

It wasn’t long before Harry’s mouth started to move down your body. Your neck, your collarbone, your chest. His tongue dragged over your nipple before sucking it into his mouth and an intoxicating heat rippled through you. 

“Bed, please” was all you could muster under your breath. Harry reluctantly pulled himself off you and started walking you back, stopping when the back of your legs hit the bed. He gently lowered you onto the bed and resumed his work dragging his mouth down your body, finishing off with a chaste kiss to your hip bone.  

He stood up straight at the edge of the bed, towering over you. Eager for him, you removed your bikini bottoms and tossed them to the floor. 

“A bit impatient?” He chuckled, looking down hungrily at your naked body. You didn’t bother to respond, leaning back on your forearms, you kicked your leg out and toed at the tent in his black swimming shorts, encouraging him to take them off. “Tell me” he said sternly.

“I want them off.”

He pulled his shorts down and discarded them on the floor before climbing on to the bed. You admired the way he wrapped his hand around his cock and began slowly stroking himself, a small sense of relief evident on his face. He lowered himself over you and pressed his lips to yours. While your tongues met, the pads of his fingertips began to explore, trailing delicately down your stomach. Your body responded to his familiar touch, goosebumps racing over you and a fire simmering in your belly. 

You were desperate for him, your body begging for him to touch you as his fingers made their way down to your heat. A heavy moan left your lips when he began running circles over your clit. At that moment, you were completely overwhelmed by him. The way his lips felt against yours, the taste of his tongue, the scent of his cologne, the soft pads of his fingers on your most sensitive spot. 

“I want you,” you whined.

“You have me,” he answered teasingly, his mouth only a fraction of an inch away from yours. He dragged his finger down and dipped into your entrance. “Fuck - you’re so wet.”

“Please…”

At your begging he positioned himself between your legs, removed his fingers, and replaced them with a press of his hips against yours, the tip of his cock firm against your slit.  

Your hands grappled to hold on to any part of him you could, eventually landing on his shoulders. Gripping tightly, your fingertips dug into his skin. You wrapped your ankles around his calves and felt the way his body fit perfectly against yours.

The first thrust inside you was slow. Every inch of your body pulled tight around him as he sank deeper. Your breath hitched as a wave of pleasure raced through you. 

“Fuck,” Harry rasped as he rocked into you. The sound of his voice sent a tingle down your spine. “I love you so much,” he whispered into your skin, brushing a kiss across your jaw. 

You said it back to him as the two of you moved against each other, getting lost in the feelings of love and undulating pleasure between you. 

———

You and Harry spent the rest of the day immersed in one another in your private villa. 

The last go around, you unraveled together with his face buried in your neck while you were clutched tight around him. 

He pulled out and collapsed beside you, trying to catch his breath. 

You turned on your side to look at him, flooded with warmth and giddiness as you acknowledged how handsome he was. You used the tip of your finger to trace the lines of his face. The sharp cut of his jaw, the slope of his nose, the full of his lips. As you were about to trace your thumb over his eyebrow he grabbed your hand, bringing it to his lips. 

“Thank you again for suggesting we go to Holmes Chapel after this,” he said against your hand, still pressed to his lips. 

“Of course,” You moved closer to him and he let go of your hand in order to wrap his arms around you. “You can go home whenever you want, you know.” 

He placed a soft kiss on the top of your head. “I know. It’s easier to go when I know you’re coming with me.”

You hummed in understanding and pressed your lips against his chest.

“I should give Jeffrey a call and ask him to make the travel arrangements for us… And postpone my meetings.” 

As if on cue, his phone’s ringtone chimed from his tote bag on the floor by the door. He was reluctant to let go of you, but you gave him a look of approval that had him scrambling out of the bed to retrieve it. You took the opportunity to admire his naked body, silently thanking the Italian sun and his morning cardio routine for the glorious sight of him. 

You felt a warmth in your chest, though, at the smile that grew on his face when he looked down at his phone to see who was calling.

“Hey mum, yeah….guess what…I’m coming home.”

———

Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think. 

[naffeclipse]

Hi Naff! A question: so I was talking with @chaotikanvas, and she mentioned that there's an Sleuth Jesters AU in which Sun and Moon stayed with Eclipse after he became a Mob Boss, and in which he spoils them both because they're his family and now he has the power to do so. That's roughly how she explained it to me, so now I am REQUIRED to ask:

Can you tell me more about this AU?

Where can I read more about it, if there have been posts about it? (Like, how do I look for it?)

I love this AU idea because it so wholesome (even if Eclipse uses the wrong methods to show his love for his family). It has already sparked so MUCH inspiration in me!

As always, keep being the awesome person you've always been!

P.S: I believe I once read that you kind of had an AU idea about Sun, Moon, and Eclipse being faes and Y/N accidentally entering their territory. Are you going to make a fanfic about this AU? (No pression, just curious!)

Heya, babe! Ahhh, it's been a hot minute since this AU has popped up and I'm so happy you enjoy it!

Yes, it's called Our Vigilante and this tag is the gist of it (I tried finding my initial post talking about it but searching through my tumblr without a specific tag is like looking for a needle in a haystack so you'll have to bear with me alsdjfas)

More or less, the AU explores the dynamic of the celestial brothers staying close and taking care of each other with the added dilemma of Sun and Moon being conscientious objectors to their older brother's criminal empire but regardless, still benefiting from Eclipse's illegal activities. It's a standoff but the brothers work and live together, though Sun and Moon are very much sheltered from the bloodier side of things.

The vigilante sets their sights on Sun and Moon and intends to use them as stepping stones to finding a way to take out Eclipse's gang from the inside out, but with their seduction of the younger brothers, the vigilante discovers that Sun and Moon are quite charming and sweet and desperately trying to hide the fact that they're technically gangsters (which makes Y/N laugh). It's a bit complicated with the vigilante well aware of Sun's and Moon's relation to the mafia boss but the boys are doing everything they can to convince this seemingly lovely little person that they're just average, totally not mobsters, animatronics.

Lots of shenanigans and hijinks ensue. The vigilante catches feelings while growing worst about 'seducing' these brothers whom they are actually growing to truly care about. Sun and Moon become wild with worry that their beau will figure out that they're not so squeaky clean and turn away from them, but, everyone's got secrets, some not so well kept, and others neatly tucked away.

Meanwhile, Eclipse and the vigilante are still at each other's throats but will drop anything at a dime if Sun or Moon are in trouble and need to be bailed out. The vigilante loathes having to work with the mafia boss, but they'll hold their tongue just until they know for certain that one of their favorite gangsters is safe and sound. Eclipse, of course, is not one to squander opportunities and uses every second he has to convince the vigilante to join him.

Eclipse wants the vigilante, and discovering that they have a fondness for his younger brothers is a pretty tool of leverage he deems fit to use as he wants—and Y/N will agree with him, one way or the other.

~

As for the Fae AU, I'd love to write a fanfic—I've already got a few different ideas for it now, and how to go about it! I still gotta get the last episode of Cryptid Sightings out and then tackle Deep Dreams 2, but mmm, I'd love to maybe write a first chapter just to get it out there!

So many things to write, so little time

[fangirl-writes]

Enemies to Lovers

JJ Maybank x Reader

Requested by anon: Hey babe 🤭 i want to request a jj x reader but if you have too much stuff to work on it's ok, you can just ignore it :)

JJ and reader aren't the best of friends (kind of an enemies to lovers), one day they're on the boat and she falls to the water but she doesn't know how to swim and jj jumps to save her. Ver cliché and i love it lol then their relationship changes a bit, and eventually it becomes romantic.

Warning(s): near-drowning, swearing, arguing, underage drinking, etc.

Notes: This is super cute and I love cliché too, don't worry. I hope you enjoy :) I made it take place in the first episode of the first season and the last episode of Season 2 because I thought it would work the best. Enjoy!!!

It wasn’t that you and JJ hated each other...

Well, okay, yeah, it kind of was. You’d been this way since third grade when you both became friends with John B. and were practically fighting for his attention. 

It intensified tenfold when you moved in with your grandmother, who was a kook, after your parents moved out of outer banks when a better job came along.

You promised them that if they let you stay in outer banks in the summers, you’d go to school where they lived the rest of the year.

To say that put a strain on your already bad relationship with a certain Pogue was putting it lightly.

“Hello, gentleman and JJ.” You greeted them as they pulled the HMS Pogue up to the dock where you and Kie were waiting for them.

“Don’t start,” John B. chided and you simply rolled your eyes.

JJ glared at you and Pope elbowed him in the side.

You got along fine with everyone else. They understood your predicament and still considered you a Pogue despite your non-Pogue status. Hell, if they did they were hypocrites because Kiara was technically a kook, if you want to look at it from a financial standpoint.

“Got some juice boxes?” John B. asked, jokingly, gesturing towards the cooler that Kiara was carrying.

“Oh, you know,” She replied, playing along. “Just some yogurts, carrot sticks.”

“How about my kind of juice box?” JJ asked, making a swipe for the cooler that Kie swings out of his reach as she steps on the boat, using the blonde’s shoulder for leverage.

“Yeah,” She popped off the lid, revealing a case full of Coronas, and handed them out to each of you as John B. drove the boat away from the dock.

“Salud.”

“Skoal.”

It was the morning after the hurricane and a much needed time away from everything. Besides, the waters were fresh and no one else would be out today.

“My grandma has invited everyone over for lunch when we’re done here,” You said, plopping yourself down next to Pope as John B. drove off.

“We don’t need her charity,” JJ said, crossing his arms.

“Sorry, let me rephrase.” You replied, annoyed. “Everyone but JJ is invited for lunch.”

JJ flipped you the bird and you rolled your eyes.

The two of you argued over the stupidest shit ever. Who could catch a bigger wave, who could hold their alcohol better, whether or not Scooby-Doo was the best cartoon ever created. And you prodded him about his hair, his weed, his dirt-bike, how he smelled after a hot day, anything you could find to insult him about, you did (and vice versa).

It drove the other Pogues crazy. You were almost as bad as Sarah and Kiara.

You kept mostly towards the center of the boat, sitting by the driver’s seat where John B. was. You were wary of the water, having never learned to swim.

Of course, growing up in outer banks you would have thought you’d have learned at some point, but nope. You were probably the only one in the whole state of North Carolina who couldn’t swim.

Nobody gave you a hard time about it, though, not even JJ. Which you were thankful for.

“Pope, take the wheel, I need a beer.” John B. said, trading places with Pope and joining the group.

“Let me show you a party trick,” JJ announced, getting up from his seat.

All the Pogues laughed good naturedly and watched him go.

“Terrifying,” Kiara said with a smile.

“Hey, Pope, can you go a little faster, please?” JJ asked, setting himself up at the head of the boat.

“Oh god.” Pope replied.

“Here we go, I’m moving,” John B. said, moving the stand behind Pope at the drivers seat. “We’ve tried this like six thousand times.”

“I got this!” JJ replied, nonchalantly. “It’s gonna work!”

“You’re gonna kill yourself,” You told him.

“No way, I’m a master, watch and learn.” He said.

You rolled your eyes.

He placed one foot on the landing and raised the beer bottle up, his mouth hanging open.

Of course, all of the beer missed his mouth and splashed onto the boat and all of you.

"Oh my god, you’re getting beer in my hair.” Kiara complained.

Both Pope and John B. began vetoing his actions, shouting and telling him to stop and JJ being JJ didn’t listen, just kept letting the beer soak his face.

“JJ, quit it!” You said, getting up and grabbing his arm.

Just as you did that the boat hit something, sending you and JJ tumbling into the water.

JJ resurfaced immediately, groaning something about his heels touching the back of his head. The rest of the Pogues checking on each other and making sure no one was hurt.

“Y/N, you good?”

Silence.

“Y/N? Oh, god, Y/N’s in the water!”

Everyone began panicking looking around the boat to try to see you.

Before anyone else could even think of jumping in, JJ was already gone, diving into the murky water to find you.

You couldn’t see much between the water and the sudden throbbing in your head. Your senses were cut off and you had a hard time regaining awareness.

You could faintly hear your name being called and your vision was slowly darkening, air running out. You began losing consciousness.

Before everything went dark, you saw a figure swimming towards you. Was that...JJ?

JJ swam towards you as fast as he could, your body sinking faster with every second. Small panic began to rise in his chest as he swam to you, hoping, praying, with everything he had that he was able to get to you in time.

You were already knocked out, he couldn’t let you drown. Not because he did something this stupid. Not ever. He couldn’t lose you. 

He reached you, finally. He wrapped an arm around your waist and started swimming to the surface.

It was difficult with your dead weight, but he refused to give up. His muscles burned, but he was almost there.

The Pogues let out shouts of relief when he broke the surface, quickly taking you from JJ’s arms and laying you out on the boat floor.

“Fuck, anyone know CPR?” John B. asked.

“Don’t look at me, bro, I don’t have any spare breath.” JJ said, joining the group from the water. 

“I do, I do,” Kiara said, pushing the boys aside. “I was a lifeguard for a few years.”

Kiara began pressing against your chest.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. All the way to thirty.

Nothing.

“Come on, Y/N.”

“Come on, Y/N, don’t give up on us.”

“Pull through, honey, come on.”

One. Two. Three. Four. Five-

You coughed, a concerning amount of water spilling from your mouth as you opened your eyes.

Everyone let out sighs and laughs of relief as you sat up and heaved, filling your lungs with much deserved air.

“Holy fuck.” You said after a minute.

That caused a round of laughs from everyone.

“Are you okay?” John B. asked, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”

“Lost my beer, though,” JJ complained, leaning on his knees.

You caught his eye and he seemed to soften, almost like relief had washed over him.

“Congrats, JJ.” John B. replied, sarcastically.

“Guys...” Pope interrupted, looking out at the water. “I think there’s a boat down there.”

****

“JJ, where are you taking me?” You asked as he pulled you along by your wrist.

“You, Y/N/N, are going to learn to swim because I’m not saving your ass again.”

“Charming.” You replied with a scowl.

It was a keg-party night. After all that had happened, it was a way to act as “normal” as possible. If at all possible.

JJ had dragged you away from a particularly interesting touron who was telling you about his family’s beach house in California and why they came to NC instead.

“I can’t swim, jackass, you know that.” You said, feeling all the more anxious as he dragged you along.

“Yes, I know that, that’s why I’d be teaching you.”

You frowned. “You? With me? In the water? Are you sure you’re not just trying to drown me?”

JJ scoffed. “Jesus, I’m not that bad of a guy, I don’t know why you hate me.”

You ripped your wrist from his hold. “Me? Are you fucking serious? You’re the one who’s been treating me like shit since I got back.”

He didn’t say anything else just huffed and continued walking. You followed despite your better judgement.

You felt stupid coming all the way out here. Surely it would only lead to a fight and you really didn’t want that, especially after everything that had happened after you found that boat.

You thought you were going to lose it when JJ and John B. hung off the side of that motel, so very nearly caught.

You’d hugged them both when they got back to the boat, but you and JJ went right back to bickering when he whipped out the money and the gun he’d swiped from the room.

You stopped, nearly running into JJ, when you reached a dock, one of the only ones left after the hurricane.

“This looks like a good spot.” JJ said.

The anxiety had settled itself in your stomach and you started to feel sick. “Are you sure about this?”

He nodded. “Course! I’ve been swimming my whole life, you couldn’t have a better teacher.”

“I could think of a few.”

He stuck his tongue out at you and you smiled unconsciously.

Even though the two of you argued all the time, you were still friends and would do anything for each other. Sometimes is was hard to remember that.

JJ peeled off his shirt and you avoided looking at him, a small blush you hoped he couldn’t see crossing your face.

You heard the sound of him splashing in the water and looked over.

He was about waist deep in the water, his shirt, shoes, and socks laying on the beach. “Come on, let’s do this.”

You gulped. “I don’t know...”

“Y/N.”

You looked over at him.

“I won’t let you drown.”

You believed him, if not just for the fact that he’d already saved you once. But, even though you’d say you didn’t, you trusted him.

With a heavy sigh, you began to strip down to your suit.

You waded into the water, gripping JJ’s hand tightly as the water got higher on your body, about waist deep. All the farther you usually went.

“We’re gonna go deeper now, okay?” He said.

You nodded tightening your hold on his hands.

He moved backwards slowly and you followed him, only stopping when the water was at your shoulders.

“When we move back, we’re not going to be able to touch the sand anymore, okay? Are you okay with that?”

If you weren’t so scared, you’d have been endeared by how considerate and soft he was being with you.

You nodded again. “Yeah, yeah, okay...”

You both moved deeper into the water and you nearly panicked when you felt the drop off.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” JJ released on of your hands to hold your face and make you look at him. “I got you. Put your hands on my shoulders and I’m gonna hold your waist, okay?”

You did as he instructed.

“Start kicking your feet a little okay? It’ll help keep you afloat. See my legs? Do what I’m doing?”

“Okay, okay,” You began kicking and soon you were bobbing slowly in the water with him, the waves softly licking your neck. “This isn’t so bad.”

JJ smiled. “Think you can let go?”

You latched on to him, tightly. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

He laughed. “Okay, okay, let’s try a different approach.”

With you clinging to him, he walked back over to the shallows where you could touch again.

You detached yourself from him and stood back unsteadily on the sand.

“You’ll have to learn to float first. You’ve seen all of us do it right? Where we lay on our backs?”

You nodded.

“Okay, I want you to try it. I’ll hold your back while you lay down, so even if you do it wrong you can’t sink.”

You smiled shakily back at him, and JJ coached you, encouraging you to relax and breathe deeply as you laid back in the water.

“See?” He said, his hand barely touching your back as you floated. “You’re doing great.”

“This isn’t so bad,” You replied.

You could feel his eyes skimming your body as you floated there. You didn’t say anything, but filed it away as information for later. A confirmation that he found you at least a little attractive instead of completely repulsive.

“Are you ready to try floating on your belly?” he asked, and you nodded.

JJ helped you right yourself, and then put his hands on the your chest and belly as you leaned forward. Tensing, your back arched to keep your head far above the water.

“I’m not sure about this anymore,” You said.

“Relax.” JJ said, “Spread out like you were before, the water will hold you, and I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen.”

He had you concentrate on taking deep breaths a minute before you were ready to take the plunge.

Surprisingly, once you did it, it didn’t seem so bad.

“You’re doing great, for a Land-Pogue.” JJ said, teasingly making you shake your head at him. “Now you’re gonna have to swim. I’ll still hold you, but start kicking your feet...”

You did quite well, swimming from one point to another where JJ would stand.

“Great! Now we’re gonna try a challenge. I’m gonna go a little further out and you’re gonna close your eyes and try to swim to me under the water.”

You bit your lip. “I don’t know...”

“What, Land-Pogue, you don’t think you can do it?”

“No!” You snapped in reply. “I just...I don’t know! Let’s just do it already!”

Huffily, you closed your eyes and crossed your arms.

A few seconds passed and you could hear him moving around in the water. “Okay, try to find me!”

You took a deep breath, plunging beneath the waves and opening your eyes. You spotted him about ten feet away from you, also submerged in the water, his blond hair floating around him. He waved at you and you began to swim towards him.

You tried to focus on his face or his necklace floating around in the water instead of looking at his chest or the way his shorts were floating around a certain area. It was harder than you thought and you hated it.

You grabbed his shoulders with both hands when you reached him and the two of you pushed up to the surface.

“Awesome! You’re doing really great.” JJ praised.

The sun was setting behind him, creating a halo of orange light around his head and making him look like a Greek god. 

You blushed. “Thanks.”

Feeling your legs tire, you stopped kicking and lowered to reach the sand, only to not feel it beneath you.

You gasped. “JJ!”

He grabbed your waist, righting you.

“I thought you said we wouldn’t go further out!” You shouted, moving closer to him again, heart pounding.

“Sorry, but you were doing so well! You don’t need the shallows as support.” He replied.

You sighed. “I’m just tired. My body doesn’t get this kind of exercise much.”

JJ smiled. “You don’t have to be an Olympic swimmer, but you can join us in the water during boat rides now.”

You smiled back, softening your grip on his shoulders to wrap them lazily around his neck. He still had a loose hold on your waist, pulling you closer to him as you relaxed.

You were nearly nose to nose and you could see the softness in his pretty blue eyes that were glowing in the sunset light. They shifted to glance down at your lips for a second before meeting your eyes again, something in them almost asking for permission.

Almost instinctively, you began moving forward.

He did the same and you were nearly there before you leaned back, coming back into your head.

“We should head back.” You said, looking down at the water that was swishing between you.

“Oh...” He sounded disappointed. “Yeah, yeah, you’re probably right. They’ll be wondering about us...”

****

Fuck this. You thought ducking as the guy with the fucking machete swiped at you. If you ever saw Ward Cameron again, you were going to punch him until you broke his punk ass nose.

“Y/N!”

JJ jumped on the guy’s back, trying to disarm him. He rammed his elbow into JJ’s shoulder, knocking him off.

“Kie!” You called.

She turned in time to duck under the guy’s swipe with the knife only for the swing to finish coming around and knock JJ in the face.

You watched as his eyes fell up and his body careened over the side of the railing, falling heavily into the water below.

“JJ!” You screamed, diving in after him immediately as Kiara kicked the machete guy in the chest, knocking him over.

“Y/N!” She cried. “JJ!”

You were holding him, his unconscious body so light in the water he floated in.

“Come on, JJ, wake up, please wake up.” You pleaded, turning him over so his face was above the water, he immediately became heavier. “Please, please, please, I can’t lose you.”

You heard a splash beside you and Kiara had jumped into the water.

“Shit, JJ.” She said, swimming over to help you hold him.

“Come on, JJ, stay with me,” You pleaded again, holding him and kicking your legs with all your might.

“I didn’t even know you could swim,” Kiara said, grabbing one side off JJ.

“Later.” You replied, holding onto him tightly. “God, come on, J, stay with me.”

“John B.’s coming,” Kiara said, somewhat desperately. “John B.’s coming, okay.”

You weren’t sure if she was reassuring you or herself, but you hoped to god it was true. You weren’t a strong swimmer and Kiara couldn’t hold both of you up, but, God, you’d gladly drown if it meant JJ could live.

That realization was hitting you hard, but you could barely think about how much you loved him when you were trying so hard to just keep him alive.

You could hear a boat’s engine not far away.

“John B.!” Kiara yelled. “Help!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” You whispered, feeling your legs beginning to ache.

Numerous shouts of JJ’s names were heard and you felt immense relief as you saw John B., Pope, Sarah, and Cleo heading over to you with the boat.

There was a slew of commotion as you got him into the boat as well as yourselves. It was mostly a blur of voices and actions and anxiety.

You practically clung to JJ as the boat began to take off a few feet before stalling out.

The others around you shouted and asked John B. what was going on with the boat, but you were only focused on the unconscious boy in front of you.

“We gotta go!” Someone shouted as you began to do chest compressions on JJ.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

“I’m trying! Forward or backward?”

Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.

The engine sputtered as John B. yanked on it.

Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen.

“If everyone just tries to relax!”

Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty.

“He’s pointing at us! Hurry!”

“We gotta go!”

Twenty-one. Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Twenty-four. Twenty-five.

“I’m trying, okay?”

“Please wake up.” Kiara pleaded next to you, shaking JJ a bit.

Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. Thirty.

The engine sputtered to life as you leaned down, pinching JJ’s nose and breathing into his mouth.

“JJ, wake up,” Kiara pleaded as the boat began moving.

You could feel his blood seeping into your hair as you breathed another puff of air before sitting up, preparing to do chest compressions again.

The blood flowing down the side of his head made your anxiety spike, but you couldn’t stop. Not now.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

“J! Please! Please!” Kiara begged.

“Wake up.” John B. said next.

Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.

“Please, get up!” She was sounding more desperate by the second.

“You gotta wake up.”

Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen-

His eyes shot open, the water beginning to pour out of his mouth.

“There you go.” John B. said, relief flooding into his words. “Yeah, yeah, cough it out. Cough it out, baby.”

JJ was coughing, turning over on his side to let the remaining water leave his body.

“Hey, buddy, there you go,” Pope said. “Welcome to the land of the living dude.”

You let out a happy sigh of relieve and practically threw yourself onto him, hugging him tightly.

“Woah,” JJ said, gravely, looking around at his friends.

“Hi.” Kiara said, relief evident on her face.

“Sup?” JJ replied, slightly confused, wrapping his arms around your back to return the hug.

The reply got a round of tired laughs and you pulled away from the hug, leaning off of him so he could breath.

“Just always looking for attention, huh?” John B. joked.

“Whatever it take right?” JJ replied, playing with your fingers, feeling a little dizzy.

Kiara took a waded up cloth and pressed it against his bleeding head. “What the hell happened?”

“The blunt end of a machete.” Kie replied.

“Machete?” JJ said, sitting up straighter.

“The blunt end.” You reiterated, lacing your fingers with his.

“Next time, duck.” Cleo said.

“I’ll try to remember that next time, thanks.” JJ replied.

“Y/N, I didn’t even know you could swim.” John B. said.

“That’s what I said!” Kiara replied.

You laughed. “Yeah, well,” - JJ’s thumb was rubbing the back of your hand - “Somebody thought to teach me.”

Kiara and John B. shared a look, something secret and almost smug that they both understood.

Pope was looking back over at where they were pulling the cross back onto the ship. “This shit ain’t over.”

“No,” John B. replied somberly. “It ain’t.”

The group faded into a small silence as they drove their lifeboat away from the ship. And the gold. And the cross. And the Camerons.

But they were right. It wasn’t over.

When you reached land, the girls got out first, taking to laying themselves out on the sand while the boys heaved the boat onto the shore.

“Good job, guys,” Sarah said.

“Good job,” Kiara threw out too.

“JJ, you all right there, buddy?” John B. asked as you walked over to them.

“Yeah, still a little dizzy.” He replied, allowing you to move his hair aside to look at his wound. The blood had stopped, but he’d probably have a headache for god knows how long. “Okay, anybody know where we’re at?”

“Deserted beach. Unknown island.” Pope replied.

“I’ll take that as a no.” JJ said, watching as you sat down next to Kiara. “Plan A, huh, Pope? That went well.”

Morale was unshakably low.

“This is the lowest we can go.” Pope replied. “We literally have nothing else to lose. The cross, gone.”

“The gold, gone.” Sarah said.

“Seriously, if we had a nickel for every time we got beat up, I’d say we’re at a dollar fifty.” JJ said.

You huffed a laugh.

“That’s more than I got on me,” Kiara said.

“That somehow doesn’t make me feel better.”

This conversation was a serious downer.

“Yeah, you’re right.” John B. said. “But I mean we’ve...” - he shrugged - “we’ve had some good stuff happen, right?”

Leave it to John Booker Routledge to see the silver lining.

“Name something.” Pope challenged.

“Um...” Him taking a moment to think was telling. “The boiler room.”

The looks he got were unconvinced.

“What? If the boiler didn’t explode, I wouldn’t have gotten away from Rafe. I couldn’t have gotten the Zodiac and gotten us out of here.”

“That wasn’t luck.” Cleo replied with a shake of her head. “That thing was gonna blow the second I stopped feeding it.”

“Stealing my thunder, Cleo...”

“Sorry.”

Note to self. You thought. New girl is a pessimist.

“Okay, Pope,” The boy in question looked over. “You’re related to Denmark Tanny.”

“And I lost all of his inheritance.”

God damn it, Pope.

“You know what?” John B. stood up, walking to look out at the water. “Guys, this is it. This is the Pogue life. We are in the Caribbean. It’s our own little slice of paradise.”

You shook your head. John Booker Routledge.

“With my best friends. With my family.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t wanna do it with anyone else.”

That was heartwarming.

“Look, and while you guys were complaining about every little thing...” John B. said, walking over to where JJ had been carving into a tree. “JJ.”

“Hm?”

He pointed at the water. “I was looking at those burly lefts.”

JJ grinned. “There’s some slabs out there.”

“Just a few.”

JJ observed the water while you observed him, quietly.

“Y/N, just learned to swim, ready to take it a step further?” John B. implored.

“I won’t rain on your parade but no thanks.” You replied.

JJ smiled, winking at you. “I could teach you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Right.”

“Kie, you see that? I know you wanna get out.”

“No boards.” Kiara replied.

“Well, we can bodysurf till we make some boards.” John B. said.

“Lame.”

You nudged her.

“Pope? Come on, man.”

“They do look pretty tasty.”

Ah, “The Brain” experiences pleasure.

“Oh, yes, they do.” John B. said, feeling spirits lifting.

“There’s nobody around,” Pope said, standing. “We could squat here for a bit. Kind of belongs to us now, huh?”

“You got a point.”

“Six-way split?”

“Pogue-landia.” JJ said in a posh accent that made you laugh. “I claim thee Pogue-landia. I like the ring of it. I’m gonna make a flag. It’s gonna have a chicken on it, with a coconut bra, smoking a J, in crocs.”

That got the girls to laugh.

“I could use a J.”

“Can we vote on this?”

Everyone began talking but JJ was still staring at you. He bent down as everyone began walking away. “Thanks for saving my life.”

You smiled. “It was a team effort. And I couldn’t let you drown. We’re even now, right?”

He grinned wickedly. “Yeah. Even.”

For the first time you leaned in to kiss him with no regrets and he kissed you back. It was almost heavenly, the way his lips moved with yours.

“Hey, lovebirds, we got work to do!”

“Quick macking and start working!”

You laughed and JJ took your hand and pulled you up. “Mind your business! I shall take no disrespect of the Queen of Pogue-landia.”

There were several groans and arguments shot his way as everyone gathered at the beach, but you smiled. All of the rational thoughts leaving your head. Maybe this really was paradise.

Or maybe JJ had let you drown that day on the boat and this was just some comatose dream.

JJ squeezed your hand, almost as if to reassure you that it was all real.

Whatever came next, you were ready for it. And glad you learned to swim.

[flowers-in-bloom13]

Another pjo fanfic I made and posted on AO3. This one is still being continued. Here are all the 3 parts of it!!! Btw it is Valgrace. And hurt/comfort<3

------------

Chapter 1. lonely hearts club

''--and then I said 'he's literally just a guy. hit him with your car' but it turns out she doesn't have a car so--'' Piper said, retelling an old story from the wilderness school. ''huh?'' Jason said. ''sorry I didn't catch that..'' Piper looked at him with a concerned expression, her eyebrows furrowed. ''you okay, Jase?'' she said. ''you've been zoning out a lot recently..'' ''yeah...yeah I'm fine'' Jason said trying to reassure Piper with a smile. ''if you say so..'' Piper tried to erase the concern from her face.

~~~~~Later that evening~~~~~

Jason was laying in his bed , starting at the celling contemplating his feelings...his feelings for Piper. ''do I really love her?'' he thought.

''oh no...why......why am I questining this? of course I love her!'' but did he really?

his heart felt lonely.

Chapter 2. Jason's google search history: Am I gay, Am I gay quiz, how to know if you're gay.

Notes:

SOMTHING IMPORTANT: in this fanfic Leo made phones and tech and things that don't attract monsters. why? because plot. ALSO: this goes for the whole fanfic but I'm really sorry if/when any of the characters seem ooc.

also a note to all my friends: if I ever get isekai'd you better be coming with me.

--------

Jason was understandably confused about the situation. ''I don't know what to do anymore...'' he thought. ''I should- I do like Piper...right..?''

why was he so confused. It's his feelings he should know how he feels, it's what he thinks. if only it where that simple...

Jason sits up and takes out his phone and goes to google. ''am I gay'' he types.

he's far too scared to press search, so he deletes it. he lays back down. staring up at the celling again.

contemplating his feelings. ever since the bitch Hera erased his memory he's not known which of his feelings are real and which are not.

does he love Piper? he's been wondering that for awhile now. he keeps ''zoning out'' because of it. Jason decides to google it anyway. ''how to know if you're gay'' he types but he's too scared to actually look at anything that comes up.

he types ''Am I gay quiz'' he clicks on the first result, its a buzzfeed quiz. he takes the quiz. he gets his result. ''Traditional labels are meaningless!'' he reads the description. ''"Gay," "Straight," "Male," "Female"... There's a lot more to the world than those blunt terms encompass! You get to define yourself, and you're free to celebrate your sexuality — or lack of — however you choose! Hurrah!'' Jason reads it, his heart beating, ''oh.'' is all that escapes his mouth. he hears a thump -the Stolls summoning a demon again, probaly- and gets scared and closes the tab and deletes his search history.

'Maybe I should go see Leo in bunker 9'' Jason says aloud.

~~~~~At bunker 9~~~~~

'Hey, Leo...I hope you don't mind me barging in here..'' Jason says closing the door to bunker 9. ''oh hey, Jase!'' Leo says with a grin on his face while he works on fixing the argo 2.

''sooo.....'' Jason doesn't know what exactly to say. he can't just come in here and say ''oh hey, man, I'm not sure if I like my girlfriend anymore, oh also I might like men.'' well...technically he can...

''soo...erm....I need to talk to you about something'' Jason says hesitantly

''oooo got a secret?'' Leo teases. ''you could say that..'' Jason replies.

Leo realizes that this probably isn't the time for teasing. Jason and Leo sit down on the floor next to each other.

''I...I'm not sure if I liker Piper anymore...'' Jason explained. ''In fact...I'm not sure if I ever liked her at all..'' ''hm...well that's a....problem...'' Leo replies. Jason looks down toward the floor. ''yeah...it is...''

''This might sound crazy but.. maybe you should tell her?'' Leo explains. Jason looks back up at Leo. ''but...I.. she'll be sad or mad..'' he says. ''She'll be happier if you do tell her'' Leo says. ''you think so?'' Jason asks hesitantly. ''I never think, Jase'' Leo replies.

~~~The next day~~~

Piper is enjoying the picnic her and Jason are having in the strawberry field. Jason...not so much...he's dreading telling Piper that he may not love her. ''It's such a beautiful(Selina beauguard much?) day, the clouds, the blue sky, the birds chirping, Clarisse threatening to kill Percy..'' Piper exclaims. ''yeah...it is...'' Jason replies ''you okay, Jase?'' Piper asks. Jason takes a shaky breath and looks down. ''the truth is, I'm not fully sure if I....If I like you'' ''Romantically I mean! I do know that I like you but only...as a friend, maybe? I'm still not sure yet...'' Jason explains ''oh...that's...erm....'' Piper says ''I'm glad you're figuring yourself out, Jase'' ''you're not mad?'' Jason looks surprised, maybe even a little shocked, ''you're not mad?'' Jason asks in surprise. ''No. I'm not'' Piper said. Jason starts to tear up. ''I love you, Pipes, I'm not sure if it's romantic or not but I love you'' Jason says. Piper pulls him into a hug. ''I love you too, Jase, I'm glad you're starting to figure out who you are after...Hera'' Piper smiles lovingly at Jason.

Chapter 3.

----

Jason was laying in his bed, wonding, how Piper was so kind and supportive of Jason maybe not loving her romantically - until he heard a knock at the door of cabin one.

Jason got up and opened the door. It's the Stoll brothers. ''Hey, Jasie!'' said Connor...or Travis. it was impossible to tell. ''erm...'' Jason exclaimed ''what are you doing here? and so late as well, It's what 10:30?''

The Stoll's looked at each other and laughed, then looked back at Jason.

''well we're having a...'event' over at the Hermes cabin!'' said one of the Stoll's. ''and we're here to invite you! trust me, there's alcohol!'' said the other butting in.

*so that's why they where laughing...* Jason thought, *wait...Alcohol...*

''uhm...I think I'll have to skip this one..''

''but...!'' the one on the left said, ''You can't skip itttt!'' the other one sarted to speak, '' yeah! you can't! come on Jasiee. stop being such a party-pooper!''

Jason sighed, ''fine. I'll come to your party...'' ''Great!!'' exclaimed one of the Stoll brothers.

Jason wasn't enjoying the party all that much so many...drunk people.. It remined him of his mother. she was always drunk

-----

I'm obviously not the best at writing...also for the "am I gay" quiz result,

I took an actual "am I gay" quiz and answered how I think Jason would and copy/pasted the result... Also I'm sorry it's so rushed- I just really want to get to a certain part. Also my username on AO3 iz "W_itch_With_A_B" if you want to find me on there. Also I wrote the fic in the early rif the morning...it's currently 00:23 rn actually!

[curator-on-ao3]

For the thing, I was going to make you talk to me about Fly Me To The Moon, but I will be nice or anyway more recent and pick The Week instead.

Oh my goodness, @grissomesque, thank you! ❤️ I’ll talk about both. 🥰

Fly Me to the Moon is without a doubt the most technically difficult story I have ever written. This multi-chap J/P has two time periods that must move together to up the stakes for our characters with the latter time period’s episode-specific linear time dependent on the earlier time period for a key event our characters need to understand that gets peeled back for the reader layer by layer. And that’s not all! Then each time period fractures into parallel universes, again marching in tandem. In sum, the story has four universes, three canon and one AU, and digs into key episodes while also existing outside of them. My outline was bananas. Despite that outline, I fully rewrote the first chapter no less than five times. I didn’t know if anyone would read the story or like it or understand it.

But I enlisted the help of a wonderful beta who reassured me everything actually made sense.

I posted the first chapter and held by breath.

And, let me tell you, that story was the best commenting experience I have ever had.

A commenter told me she went to transcripts because she so much disagreed with my characterization of Tom Paris, then saw that what she thought was in the transcripts wasn’t there and her vision of Tom is different now.

A P/T shipper commented that she was almost rooting for J/P and what the what, also she said she never commented chapter by chapter but she was enjoying the story that much.

Comments were so kind, so thoughtful, so insightful on this story I had worked my ass off to write. It was every writer’s dream and I wish for an experience like that for everyone.

In terms of the fic itself, one of my favorite parts to write was the “Author, Author” Janeway and Paris holograms malfunctioning because that creeped me out. Similarly, I enjoyed writing Janeway cross-examining her “Worst Case Scenario” hologram self. The commonality of both canon holo-programs depicting the Janeway and Paris bond was such a treat to explore.

Okay! Whew! I will always be delighted to talk about Fly Me to the Moon.

In terms of The Week … that story means so much to me. The Week is a Pikeuna one-shot and a follow-up to a Pikeuna ficlet called The Weekend, both written between seasons one and two.

In The Weekend, Chris and Una are students at the academy and he’s utterly oblivious to the fact that 1. he’s smokin’ hot when he’s shirtless and making her pancakes, and 2. she’s weird. Like, “humans don’t do that, my dude,” weird. I had an absolute blast writing young, bumbling, trying-so-hard Pikeuna.

The Week catches up with our heroes two decades later while the Enterprise is getting a computer upgrade after sitting out the Klingon War. Chris and Una have been a couple that whole time (it’s not an AU, I sob) and they have this wonderfully settled love in which Chris has figured out a bunch of stuff … mostly correctly but definitely not quite all there. I wanted to explore an old, deep, and meaningful love that doesn’t nullify the essential loneliness of the self (because nothing does), yet a love that still helps people find their best selves through care for each other.

There is also porn.

And, let me tell you, writing old, established sex was really fun. (I am just now realizing that both Fly Me to the Moon and The Week have old, established sex, with Fly Me to the Moon more graphic when they’re younger while The Week is more graphic when they’re older.) Anyway, this is sex for two people who have tried all the positions together and know what they like. Two people who have a shorthand for sex just like anything else. And, of course, one person who enjoys his longtime partner but started banging her before either of them had enough experience to know that some of what she does is absolutely not possible for a human body.

So, yeah, I enjoyed writing the sex. Especially the book-oriented sex scene.

I also found great meaning and a sad sort of satisfaction in writing Una’s fears around racist humans. When Una speaks with the woman in the grocery store and Una is so, so scared and covering it up with bravado … damn. I purposefully wrote that in a way that I hoped would resonate for other minorities — and commenters (some of them privately), without knowing my intention, told me it did. That choice became satisfying again when Ad Astra Per Aspera similarly expanded Una’s backstory to resonate for experiences of many members of historically underrepresented communities.

Um, I have rambled here and had an absolutely marvelous time doing it. Thank you so much, @grissomesque. I deeply appreciate you asking about these two stories. 💙

Want more information about a fic I wrote? Send me an ask.

[taupewolfy]

*sigh* I know I said I really wasn't going to do this but at the same time I want to briefly talk about what I did enjoy playing this year, or what was fairly standout to me. Of course, caveat of how the industry has been churning over so many developers and workers and axing people left and right for nonsense reasons. And for the most part, some of these I've talked extensively about through the year so I won't include all my thoughts on them here. Anyway let's dig into it:

Hi-Fi Rush- You know when you play something and it oozes love for it's topic and the game itself? Yeah, that comes through in so many facets of this passion project of a game (especially since it had a surprise drop and surprising team behind it (Tango more well known for the survival horror series The Evil Within). Somewhat...hmm ironic that this game contains so many jokes/nods to the abusive working conditions of the industry (while certainly framed in a negative way I sure do hope the devs that worked on this didn't have the need to crunch). Coming off of the backs of the dmc games at the end of the year prior had me well equipped for this game's very fun rhythm combat, and I deeply adore the 'classic' ps2-gc era feel of the game, both in the level structure and the fact it has levels.

Dragon's Dogma (Dark Arisen ver.) - I'm not going to repeat what I've said like a thousand times. Sick as combat and really fun systems. Feels very classic rpg in the way quests and the worlds come across (helped by it's very traditionally fantasy monsters). And of course, I would be remiss to not include a link to my absolute favourite track that plays whenever you topple a giant creature. As soon as you hear that choir and strings kick in? Yeah that's the good stuff.

Baroque- Ahhh baroque. Baroque, Baroque, Baaaaaaroque. What haven't I said about this game? It very quickly became one of my absolute favourites of all time last year. Helped by the fact I could instantly attune to its all too familiar mystery dungeon styled gameplay. An intense and highly atmospheric game.

Ai Somnium: The Nirvana Initiative - Another game I talked about a lot this year. One I enjoyed a hell of a lot more than it's prior game, even if it underutilises some of its characters. Did you know this game lies to you and then pulls the wool off of your eyes and goes 'HA! You thought this was happening and it was actually this!' and it's so fucking rude about hahahaha. Actually made so everything does line up the way it does, I even replayed things after that reveal to get my facts all in order and was amazed that they hid a sneaky character swap between cutscenes loading. I feel the game is fairly hampered by it's 'silly spoiler filter', which I feel subtracts too much from the game to really let it be a decent sequel.

Misericorde - Man. I love a good mystery. Misericorde sets itself up so well I love the degree of doubt and I love a unreliable narrator speaking of events past all the while being affected by their emotions in the matter. Hedwig is a sopping wet beast of a nun (prior achoress, essentially someone who takes a vow of isolation, so she's got many years of learning how to socialise to catch up on) thrown out into the world to discover a murderer in the abbey, all the while trying to learn about the other nuns that live and work there and not raise suspicions. Really fantastic and chapter 2 is one I am keenly excited for this year.

Pentiment - This worked incredibility well as an almost companion piece to Misericorde. The games are technically set around 100 years apart from each other, in very different parts of Europe but a lot of the way religion and the world works was helped by what I had learned from Misericorde. It's an Obsidian RPG if that isn't enough of a indicator on the quality idk what to tell you. It's got a nice quality to it that really rounds it out well and while some people may be disappointment by how choices resolve I quite liked the way it mulled in my mind. OH ALSO fuuuuuuck you gotta play this one for the way text is displayed. Truly amazing stuff.

Basilisk 2000 - You might be a bit suprised that Lunacid doesn't show up on this list, I've instead opted to pick one of the other games KIRA released last year, which is Basilisk 2000 - a follow up to Basilisk for the SNES. Basilisk 2000 is an unfinished, unreleased game that was re-discovered by some bloke called Kyle Tubman, who found the build tools for the game and repackaged it into an executable file so folks can poke around on this unreleased project. Except...not really! This is a 100% original game by KIRA! No, what you spend most of your time in B2000 is using the dev engine to poke around the unfinished build of the game and try to...discover why it never came out...?? Tbh I'm still poking around with this one (literally just found a new level TODAY opening the game on a whim). Notepad is required and it's pretty unlikely you'll find 'everything' on your own. It's a really eerie game pocketed with vast emptyness (especially as you start finding some really hidden levels), perhaps made scarier if you're unfamiliar with floating around 3d spces with dev tools...

Persona 3 Portable - It's persona wadda you want me to say? Nah I hadn't prior played any smt or persona game (I had watched my sister play p5 and p5r) but I had always heard good things about p3...so it was on sale and I picked it up. Let me tell you it did not disappoint! Having a female protag is a great bonus and I really enjoyed the added aspects of the main cast brought into this game through her. Interesting playing the shifting point for the series and seeing the roughness of things like social links (stuff that comes very obviously from actual dating sims) and the combat mechanics being sooooo tantalisingly good. It had me hooked.

Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate - MH3 was my first of the series to play and still sits at this very comfortable familiarity. This one is mostly here because I get to play it with my sister, who has a special interest in the series, and neither of us have played this title before so it's been a blast to return to Moga and go through some familiar locals and creatures.

Void Stranger - Aside from the fact I couldn't shut up about this game for (even after) the three solid weeks I spent playing it and digging into ever secret I could puzzle and get my hands into? Yeah this one takes the cake and crown for the year. All time favourite, easily...almost effortlessly.

ZeroRanger - So this is a game made by the same devs of Void Stranger, which I was so impressed by, I quickly ran out and bought this one...even though I'm not the biggest fan of shoot 'em ups lol. Anyway this game rules as well, very fun shmup and apparently a good entry point for the genre. Much love in it to games of the genre as well (which I've discovered now in checking out other stuff...cute references that don't feel trite).

Chrono Cross - Loooooove the battle system in the world, charmed by it's tropical archipelago flavour etc. I actually really like this game, even when it doesn't really meet it's potential make much sense. It's solid enough and got enough good/interesting things that I can like it.

Armored Core 6 - This is probably the biggest title from the year I've got on this list. Holy wowee fuck me this game is awesome. Much like Hi-Fi Rush it feels good to have levels again, especially since you can replay them anytime. Had a blast swapping play between my sister for each level....helped keep a good pace between us and made for some fun moments when one of us meets a boss and the other can replay that level with their own mecha kit.

Guilty Gear Strive - I've play this majority of the time, if only, with sis and it's on here because...well? Some point while we were playing last year it 'clicked' for us. I've struggled with fighting games in the past and can't really understand them but something really did 'click' and suddenly we got it. And it's been a blast to just go toe to toe with sis in this flashy and fun game. Just good times with this one.

MegaMan Legends - One of the neat things I was able to get last year was a psvita....which I proceeded with loading up full of ps1 titles that I've always wanted to play - MML being one of them. I mostly came to this one to check out the art on display but I'm glad I've played it, this is a delightful game. I do need to return to this one but if i have any major complaint about it, it's the bosses. Otherwise the charm oozing out of this game is soooooo good. I love dungeon crawler <3 It also essentially plays like a mecha game, which is heaps fun. Eventually excited to tackle it's sequel sometime this year, hopefully!

CrossCode - Hi, Lea!

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Can i send you a request? I’m a classical music student and the end of uni semester is hard 😪 what if Harry was y/n’s instrument teacher (individual classes) and they have a good relationship but he’s really a perfectionist and she’s putting a lot of pressure on herself and one day he tells her a criticism about her piece and she takes it the wrong way and starts crying and have a panic attack in her class ☹️

(Lets make it sweet and fluffy though 😂)

Of course! I actually majored in vocal performance my Freshman year and the pressure got to me and I switched majors lol. It was just so competitive and stressful and a lot of work outside of classes and lessons and sectionals and juries! ANYWAY! I know how hard end of term can be so I'm wishing you all the best! 🫶

After midterms everything just sort of becomes a blur in university, students are frantic to catch up or improve or maintain their grades, professors are suddenly starting to grade all assignments in bulk, and for Y/N particularly, this meant very inconvenient practice times for her end of the year jury practice. The practice rooms were constantly busy and it was hard to find a reasonable time between her other classes to put in some practice. She was really pushing herself to show fast improvement because during her last semester jury she was told that her nerves were coming through. She was only nervous because she was scared she would forget how to play or read music or count. Just normal thoughts from an anxious and panicked brain.

After that feedback though she brainstormed and decided that the only way none of those things would happen would be if she memorized her next jury piece. It had to be a piece that was at least 5 minutes in length, which wasn't a hard feat. She and her faculty advisor, who was also her assigned instrument teacher, Prof. Styles, well he liked to be called Harry, but they had chosen Chopin's Berceuse Op. 57. She had started to learn that piece the year before but for one reason or another they just stopped practicing it for her repertoire, but he suggested it was time to bring it back. It was an opportunity for her to be able to show off her technical skills while also showcasing how freely she could play. Chopin was all about movement and expression, it gave a lot of wiggle room for the pianist's own artistic expression and based on the previous semester's criticism, her own expression was severely lacking.

It was the week before juries now and due to the hectic schedules and end of term assignments Y/N was running on 4 hours of sleep, burnt coffee, and stale pop-tarts as she was rationing her meal points at this point. She was blazing through the campus to make it to her lesson on time and she just made it in, Harry hated tardiness more than anything.

"Just in time. How's it going." he asked as Y/N walked in panting.

"It's going." she huffed as she set her backpack down and dug out her sheet music, though by this point she really didn't need it.

"How's practice been going?" he asked as she settled herself onto the bench.

"Alright, been going 2 to 2 and half hours." she said as stretched her hands back and wiggled her fingers around. She was still breathing heavily, "I warmed up at my dorm before I came over, s'why I was rushing." she said, "I just need to your honest opinion on how this is sounding."

"S'why I'm here, my dear." he assured and she smiled, "Also, please take a minute to catch your breath." he chuckled and she swallowed down thickly and nodded. She closed her eyes and rolled her shoulders back before exhaling slowly, "There you go, nice and relaxed." he encouraged.

Harry was attractive, there was no denying that. He was practically a musical prodigy and his talent was extraordinary. He was the youngest faculty member, he actually started on her first year, so naturally, she got assigned to him for her lessons, a lot of the new kids did. He was stern and serious, but he also let his kindness seep through - he was just so balanced and it made her feel really comfortable around him. He was an excellent instructor and just within a year of them working together for individual lessons her abilities had improved to the point where she was made second chair to accompany the ensembles as her second year. Obviously, there was a senior as first chair, but her being that much younger and being offered second chair was a big deal. She was Harry's best student and that also came with it's own pressure. With him being who he was, it made people scrutinize his pupils even more as they were his living legacy! Y/N stared at the black and white keys before her for a moment before she put her hands in position and the piece took off.

Harry didn't interrupt her once, he let her play it how she had been rehearsing. But he noticed that her gaze was set down at the keys and her eyes were a bit narrowed. Her shoulders tense and it was causing her posture to worsen as time progressed. Yes, she was hitting all of the right notes but what she was displaying visually and emoting was not matching the easy and fluid feeling of the piece she was playing. As soon as she started to wrap up she relaxed a bit more and finished nicely, holding the last note for a few beats before slowly stepping off of the reverb petal.

Y/N exhaled d and turned to him with a big smile. This was the first time she had made it through the whole piece without a little mistake that she noticed or a feeling that her performance was lacking in some capacity. She couldn't really decipher the look on his face, but she just knew it had to be good feedback. She waited eagerly as he stood there, waiting for a few moments, taking it in. Usually speechless meant good - like there were no words.

"Well, I mean you certainly learned the piece." he said and she chuckled.

"I just wanted to make sure that I didn't miss anything. That I just knew when and where things are supposed to happen so that I'm not freaking out like last time." she explained and he hummed.

"How do you think you did?" he asked and she shrugged with some humility.

"I'd say maybe 8.9 or 9 out of 10." she said and his eyebrows raised.

"Oh, OK." he said with some surprise in his voice and immediately her stomach sank. It couldn't be good that he looked shocked at her self-evaluation.

"Was it not that good?" she asked and he licked over his lips.

"It was and it wasn't, technically you're perfect-"

"So then what?" she asked as she started to feel her hands prick with nerves. She swallowed down that awful burning in her chest, that kind when your breath is short.

"You're literally playing it exactly as it's written there in the sheet music. Where's the feeling?"

"Well I'm playing the dynamics like it says there to give it some movement!" she said and he shook his head and sighed.

"Y/N, you're so focused on making it perfect that you've completely thrown out the entire purpose of music. Yes, you would definitely impress any audience with your skill but if you just keep focusing on perfection you'll never be able to move an audience with your music." he said and she doesn't know why that hurt so much coming from him but it did, "Yes, the dynamics there are a guide for the overall tone of the piece, but you're not being vulnerable and showing us what this feels like for you." he critiqued, "The arpeggios should give me the visual of...let's say a butterfly, fluttering it's wings, right now they feel like a wounded bird, you're dragging the tempo and pressing the keys too hard in trying to ensure that you don't miss a note. And you're glissando is also dragged. You know how to do this, Y/N-" he stopped talking when he heard her gasp, almost as if she was about to cry, "Y/N?" he asked and she glanced up to him with tears rolling down her face and her mouth slightly parted and he could see her chest was rising and falling quickly with how shallow her breathing was. "Oh my god." he said grabbing her hands, "Y/N, it's alright." he said as her shallow breathing started to worsen.

"I-Ican'tbreathe." she slurred and he looked into her panicked and tearful eyes trying to decide how he could help.

"Fuck." he whispered as he took in her demeanor, "Y/N, I-i'm gonna hold you, OK." he warned before he just pulled her into his chest and nestled her face into his neck. Her tears and puffs of air were heating and dampening his skin and surely the collar of his shirt but he just wanted her to be OK. Harry had a huge soft spot for Y/N. He's known her since she started here and he'd been able to help her cultivate her gift and she had a talent that he admired. Maybe in wanting to make her the best he pushed her too far? "I'm sorry if I've been pressuring you too much. I just believe in you and your gift so much. I don't want to push you to the point where I'm taking away your feelings for the music. I'm sorry if I have." he said softly as he rubbed at her back. She was starting to calm down, "There you go, darling. Breathe in and out, it's alright." he comforted her, "Breathe with me." he said and she slowly started to sync up her breathing with his own, "That's it." He encouraged her until she had calmed down.

“I’m sorry.” She stammered as she hiccuped on her tears.

“Hey, it’s alright, you don’t have to apologize.” He assured.

“I’ve just been trying so hard and I don’t want to disappoint you or myself or anyone and-“

“Y/N, I’m not disappointed in you. I just want you to remember that being great at something doesn’t mean you have to stop showing your love for it. Show that you’re passionate about your playing! That’s what we want to see, that’s all.” He said with a soft smile and she nodded into his chest before he released her and reared back to look into her eyes, they were already fixed on his own. “You alright?” He asked and she nodded, “Good.” He smiled as he scooted down the bench to give her sufficient space, “I’ll be right here beside you. Again from the top.”

[mephinomaly]

[TL] PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 6

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Time: That day at night

Location: In a training room in ES

Rei: Wanko~♪ Do you want the ball~?

Go fetch~ ☆

Koga 2: Ruff ruuuffffff ☆

Adonis 2: …(Fidgeting around like he wants to play too.)

Rei: Kukuku. He looks human but in reality he’s a newborn baby, such an adorable thing ♪

Kaoru: You get on surprisingly well with the fakes which is pretty good.

—But is that really a good thing, Rei-kun?

Rei: Okay, it’s Adonis-kun's turn now ♪ Why don’t you try to catch this piece of string? You can build up physical strength whilst having fun, isn’t that the best?

Adonis 2: ...♪

Kaoru: I’m happy you’re getting on but hey, are you listening? Can you not ignore me please?

Rei: Of course of course. I will never again allow my gaze to be ripped away from my beloved children who adore me.

Kaoru: Who adores who, did you say?

Rei: —I’ve been thinking.

Kaoru: Hm?

Rei: No matter how much I desire it, I can never be an omnipotent, benevolent god. I suppose that’s clear as I could not predict this situation unfolding.

However, I am slightly older than you all, and it is not as if I spent all my time overseas playing around.

I’m just a tiny bit more experienced onii-chan than you all.

Kaoru: What are you trying to say? You just want to brag about being older? Or do you hate being seen as an old hag?[1] Is this a type of power harassment?

Rei: Kukuku. It’s weird for me not to, Kaoru-kun. Well, there’s nothing I can do in this situation.

We must keep our minds as tranquil as a mountain peak. If our juniors see us seniors fumble, it will create anxiety for them.

Kaoru: Uhuh. Being a senpai is hard work.

So? What are you thinking about?

Rei: Umu. I have no evidence regarding this, all I can do is make guesses on the sequence of events that brought us into this and why it even began to start with.

I have an overall understanding of this situation.

In other words, we now know the truth behind this mysterious set of circumstances.

Kaoru: Wa～, well done! You’re an amazing detective ♪

Rei: Kaoru-kun could have guessed it as well. You are the son of a wise scholar after all.

However, you are a pragmatic child. This case is a bit of an anomaly, and contains unrealistic aspects.

Kaoru: Unrealistic, hm… Ah, I guess that describes it well.

Rei: Umu. Now the question is; how do we escape this situation?

You will understand this analogy, but we are in a locked room. There is only one exit and entrance, and a specific key is required to open them.

However, the key is hidden amongst an endless amount of objects scattered around said room.

Kaoru: It’s like a super difficult ‘escape the room’ game.

Rei: There aren’t any hints though. Unfortunately, there is not enough time to carefully examine each and every item in the room in order to find the key.

We must somehow escape, before the reality we live in warps and breaks down.

Kaoru: Since it’s you, I’m sure you’ve come up with a way to get us out of here. I say that half jokingly ♪

Rei: Umu. I must respond if someone asks something of me, as superstar Rei Sakuma-senpai.

—There is one thing I want to do.

However, it is a dangerous gamble. I am concerned that there may be burdens on the mind and body, primarily on the brain.

Kaoru: Don’t you dare say something all stand-offish like “so that's why I’ll handle it by myself.” If UNDEAD has a problem, then it’s all of our problem. We should share that burden together.

Rei: Kukuku. That’s something old Kaoru-kun would never have said. Now we have been reminded of our past selves, those words deeply move me.

Kaoru: Don’t make fun of me. So, what’s this thing you want to do?

What should we do to get out of this weird situation?

Rei: We need to dream.

When I investigated the AIIE experiment facilities the other day, I happened upon the machines we were connected to, the manuals on how to operate them, and the drugs we were prescribed.

As one could expect, the manuals contained a lot of technical lingo, but with help from a family member who is good at those sorts of things, I was able to come to grips with how it works.

Therefore, if we desire so, we can dream of those days once again.

Visit the memories of when Deadmanz disappeared, and us, UNDEAD, arose.

I suspect our answers will be there.

Kaoru: It’s embarrassing to see me back then being so uptight, but if there’s nothing else we can do, I suppose I can comply.

Rei: Kaoru-kun is still an inexperienced cute boy, hm? I am but a lump of shame.

You may be ashamed of your past self now, but in ten years you may feel the same about your current self.

Let’s do everything in our power now so we do not regret anything in the future.

Will you help me, Kaoru-kun?

Kaoru: Of course I will. I’ve said this a lot already, but this is all of our problem.

Rei: Wonderful… This is also just a guess, but I believe I am the cause behind everything.

Seeds from the past left unwatered grow out of spite. I must reap what I sow, before they can grow anymore.

So this doesn’t happen again. So that I don’t lose anyone again.

[ ☆ ]

Kaoru says 年齢マウント. Not sure if we have a word like that in english but it’s when the eldest of a group of girls (whether idols or just friendship groups) is seen as an old woman despite only being slightly older than the others

Chapter 5

Chapter 7

[qqueenofhades]

I just saw some article abt a tiktok where a mother asks if her 10 yo's written music piece can be played (yes it can) and she starts with the kid having played violin for 2 yrs but it turns out it's a family thing with parents/aunts/grandmothers involved too...

And the reason I'm bringing this up is because of my university experience. I didn't do anything like AP classes or A levels when I was in high school. My parents have their high school diplomas and they're at very basic levels. I used to attend a different form of tertiary education attended by ppl who had backgrounds a lot more similar to mine, but in academia I'd say 80% of people had university educated people and probably about 10% had at least one parent and/or grandparent with a PhD.

I messed up my MA thesis. I mean, I passed and realistically I know that a lot of what happened isn't my fault (I ran into a serious medical issue which meant my process was delayed AND then my supervisor left after giving me minimal feedback and w/o any sort of decent transfer, after which I was not allowed to get any feedback from the replacement supervisor who was new at my university/in my country).

At the same time, I feel like the situation is definitely compounded by not having any academics in my family. I wasn't raised with the academic sense of thinking (and therefore rely too much on background research because I get insecure!) and I don't have the degree of Background Knowledge that is sort of expected of people when they wanna succeed (and yes languages like Latin are sort of included but the STORIES and HISTORIES are a lot more important, in the sense that learning Latin can be done postgraduate for sure but catching up on many many of the stories and references is a lot more difficult).

I was wondering what your thoughts are on this. I don't know if this really qualifies as a hidden curriculum as technically it ISN'T needed to succeed, but I DO notice that I have had to work a lot harder than my peers for the same outcomes, and the moment I faced setbacks I simply didn't have the type of backup in place (esp with few friends) that other people did have.

Ofc this also isn't to say that people who do have all this background knowledge should be excluded or whatever! It's just supremely difficult to catch up once you're behind, and it really has confronted me with class immobility more than anything else. Jobs in the academic world ARE notoriously difficult to come by, but this is about the step before that - succeeding in programs where previous knowledge DOES really benefit students simply because they're capable of drawing more connections because they KNOW more, and how that should be dealt with. The idea that people who are "behind" in their way of approaching academia and/or the knowledge required being immediately put at a disadvantage (and I know I am and I am a rare case bec most ppl with this disadvantage don't MAKE it to uni in the Netherlands or don't do as well as I somehow managed to do at all), AND the idea they need to catch up in the same amount of time that other students without the disadvantage to catch up... And of course not doing as well be cause we need additional time to catch up!

Like... University to me has been sucu a confrontation with how different classes of people (whether traditional income based or more education based) function and the inequality functions in a way I can't really find the words to express. All I know it's been very difficult and made me feel the odd one out pretty much the entire time I was studying.

How do you feel about inequality in higher education, and I guess also how do you feel about the current postgraduate system (MA/PHD).

Okay, so if I'm understanding your question correctly, you're specifically asking how I feel about how inherited privilege functions in academia, and how this contributes to overall inequality in the discipline/in regard to people involved it?

Obviously, kids from well-off homes, who have access to better education, private schools, personal tutors, cultural/learning opportunities paid for by their parents, etc. etc., all have a big advantage going into university. This doesn't always translate into actual results, but we all know about the nepotism/Ivy League kids who get into Yale while clearly not being very bright (cough cough George W. Bush) because, well, their families have always gone to Yale and it's what they do. I often see people expressing incredulity that particularly noxious American politicians, such as Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, and Ron DeSantis (who all went to Harvard/Yale/Princeton etc) act that way, because "they went to Harvard, shouldn't they know better?" This naively assumes that because Harvard is so prestigious, it must therefore teach a more Correct or Intelligent Curriculum, and totally ignores the fact that when Harvard IS in the news, it's usually for some scandal or gatekeeping or corruption, because it's functioning exactly as designed in transmitting the mentality and privilege of the American ruling class. Harvard is prestigious (and very hard to get into) because of that, not due to any extra rigor or merit in its curriculum. If you have that name on your CV, then yes, doors will automatically open for you whether or not You Personally Deserve It. That's just not the way anything works.

As such, academia reflects the inequalities that are already present in society, and it often magnifies them, especially because the long-term pursuit of higher education is, to put it bluntly, almost impossible without equally long-term funding resources. People either have to go into massive amounts of debt, or rely on having the Bank of Mom and Dad to pay for them. If you don't have and/or want either of those, your options are limited. Tons of people quit because they just can't afford to do it, they have no job options afterward, or they're burned out. Academia is a corporate structure just like everything else, and it's certainly not some magical fairyland where everyone is judged only on the quality of their ideas and nothing else. Getting an academic job is all about who you know and how you can leverage your existing connections in the field. So yeah, it can often function as a microcosm of all the other inequalities in society, and produce narratives that are, as ever, beneficial to the powerful.

That said, I do think there has been important and meaningful progress in the last few generations of scholars alone. Diversity, equality, and inclusion statements/institutional values can often sound canned and stereotypical, but the fact that they're there at all, and have broad acceptance across the academy, is remarkable and somewhat underappreciated. Ron DeSantis and his fascist footmen aren't trying so hard to totally destroy higher education in Florida (and if he wins the GOP nomination, across the country) for no reason, and conservatives aren't so hyper-obsessed with their local school boards for the same reasons. There is more awareness of marginalized narratives and dynamics in the academy than there has ever been before, and there is real and important work being done by a wide variety of incredibly diverse scholars. One critique of academia that really gets my goat, and shows me that those repeating it have no idea what they're talking about, is "academia is all old white men at elite universities!" That just isn't remotely equivalent to what things look like in 2023, or what they focus on. What about that guy who couldn't even read until he was 18, who just became Cambridge's youngest black professor at age 37? Obviously, obviously, more work needs to be done across all levels in increasing access and opportunity. But that shouldn't prevent us from recognizing the real progress that has been made, and just why anti-democratic, anti-intellectual forces perceive it as such a threat.

Likewise, academia is an incredibly fusty and outdated practice based on rules and systems originally developed about 1000 years ago, which is why it can be -- to say the least -- resistant to change. So the whole MA/PhD system is predicated on those very outdated systems, but nobody has really come up with a better one. I was very fortunate to have had the support of friends and family, including financially, while I was completing my degrees; without that, I too would not have been able to finish. Likewise, anti-intellectualism and the idea that all information is created equal, that academic expertise doesn't matter, that all intellectuals/college professors must be secretly lying to you for the power trip, etc., is something that often turns up in left-leaning as well as right-leaning spaces (see, uh, Tumblr, which tends to think that whatever is empirically true is whatever aligns with their favorite belief). So I have to push back on that as well as the rest of it, if that makes sense.

[murfpersonalblog]

My IWTV Dream - Dracula meets Beauty & the Beast

I am the most disoriented person ever. I just woke up from the most detailed dream--it felt so real that I swore I had missed the premier of IWTV--not Season 2, but Season ONE y'all. 😅

But it was VERY different from AMC's IWTV, and now I know why, cuz last night I was rewatching WWDITS, and the day before that I was watching the premier of the new Castlevania series with my friends (we ended up gushing about IWTV and other vampire shows). Which explains a lot of why my dream went the way it did.

Ok, so it was still AMC!Loustat, and it was still 1910, but it was actually a Dracula/Beauty & the Beast fusion. After Louis' father died & left the DPDLs broke, Louis left NOLA to become an accountant/real estate agent/assistant for Marquis de Lioncourt, an uber rich European whose newspaper post he'd answered. (He took the job cuz MdL promised to send a HUGE advancement ahead of time, covering travel expenses & stuff, which Louis split with his family back in NOLA.) The Marquis wants to invest in properties across Europe & America, and needs someone to handle his daytime operations--basically, Louis is Roget & Johnathan Harker & Renfield.

Louis boards a ship to Europe, takes the steamtrain to France, and arrives by horse carriage at the Marquis' dilapidated chateau/castle (in my dream it's technically France, but it felt like Transylvania--again, I was watching Castlevania the other day & had Dracula on the brain).

The Marquis de Lioncourt is of course Lestat, but Dracula/Beauty & the Beast style he's not hot yet when they first meet--"velcome to my home~"--he's all gnarly Swamp King chic, "dead but delicious."

But that doesn't stop Les from charming Louis--reading his mind, talking/acting funny, and all his homoerotic "tricks," so Louis doesn't notice the dude's a frikkin corpse.

Louis asks the villagers in Auvergne about the Lioncourts, and they all say every Marquis over the generations has been weird (they're all Lestat, but the villagers don't know that, ofc), but that the Lioncourts keep the area safe from predators (LOL) and even send money to the needy so the whole town stays prosperous. Sure, people tend to go missing, stop asking questions! 👀

Eros & Psyche style, Louis very quickly catches on that the chateau is magic/haunted--ghost!Magnus is Cogsworth/Lumiere & ghost!Claudia is Chip/Mrs Potts. (He can sense & hear them, and kinda see them, cuz the DPDLs are distantly related to the Mayfairs through Julien, like in AMC's original pilot script.) They're barely enough to keep him company, but they're also withholding info like everyone else.

A lot of my dream was Louis managing Lestat's investments & exploring the chateau during the day--it's all super lavish Art Nouveau, like AMC's townhouse, but grimy & charred, like everything's 100 years old and been through a fire. Only Louis' wing is kept habitable. Wolves roam freely around the property, and though they're not tame, for some reason they never bother Louis. And ofc the West Wing is off limits. There's also the whole deal with music & magic--Louis hears Lestat playing the piano & violin obsessively, kinda like Edward Scissorhands with his ice sculptures & topiaries, or AR's Julien Mayfair & his haunted victrola. He hears the piano around sunset, almost like an alarm clock letting him know that Lestat is awake & might be available to talk. The violin is weird though, playing during the daytime when Lestat told Louis he would never be around, and when Louis asked if anyone else was in the house he was told No. At night Lestat plays piano beautifully for Louis sometimes (never the violin), and they talk & chat & get on well enough, but Lestat is also a moody manchild recluse with no manners, so "modernizing" him takes a lot of work & patience. Especially since he constantly skulks in the shadows, keeps the lights off/dim, and avoids letting Louis really ever look at him head on.

Of course there's the Library Scene TM (and ofc Lestat's useless arse is illiterate). Louis reads up on the Lioncourts, and realizes that the math ain't mathin, as Lestat, the villagers, the ghosts, and even the books aren't telling him anything substantial about the history of the area, family, chateau--nada. As Lestat's accountant he has access to the taxes/ledgers/etc, that only go as far as corroborating what the villagers already told him about centuries of Lioncourt Marquises all named Lestat--this current lord is the 7th generation (Lestat VII). But the longer Louis stays there, he starts becoming more sensitive/aware of the magic/curse on the chateau.

Soon enough, Louis starts having crazy dreams, glimpses of the chateau all restored and gorgeous, and populated by a whole court of people--by their voices he realizes that 2 of them are Magnus & Claudia. Most importantly, he sees the real Lestat, who's beautiful & debonair, and the only one he can actually talk to & engage with in the dream. Because basically, Lestat is seducing Louis in his sleep/head like some creeper.

Louis starts looking forward to going to sleep, so he can meet hot!Lestat in his dreams--black tar heroin to the rings of Saturn, etc. The dubcon is strong, cuz Lestat's like an incubus feeding on Louis in his sleep & taking Little Drinks; "I was being on hunted." Finally Louis is lucid enough to realize that Lestat's a vampire/loup garou--only seeing him at night, never eating, eavesdropping/catching him having literal conversations with the creatures of the night, etc. The longer Louis lived there, and the more Lestat drank from him, the younger/healthier Lestat started appearing when Louis was awake. Louis thought it was him rehabilitating/modernizing Lestat that caused the change, when really it was just his blood. Was anything between them real? The monstrous Lestat was more honest than the beautiful one!

Lestat lovebombs Louis, swearing that his affection is real, it's just that the dreams were a necessary evil. Louis asks why, but Lestat doesn't speak up. Assuming Lestat was too insecure to seduce/court him as a cadaver, Louis assures Lestat that he didn't need to be glamoured to accept the supernatural, not when the place is crawling with ghosts. Lestat admits that he was surprised that Louis could sense/hear them, and that's when he knew he could try reaching Louis through dreams. Things are going well until Lestat opens his big mouth and also admits that he gave Louis his blood in his sleep, which upsets Louis even more. Louis won't leave/quit, but he's not at all happy with Lestat's deceptions and ices him out--next time they talk or lay together, it will be on Louis' terms or not at all!

Later on, Louis realizes that it was Lestat's blood that made him more sensitive to the chateau's magic over time--not enough to turn him into a vampire, but more than enough to trigger his latent Mayfair abilities. He notices the entire chateau smells like smoke--the dirt and dust everywhere is actually ash. Magnus & Claudia's ghosts are sharper and Louis can actually see them now, too. Immediately he sees that both Magnus and Claudia are covered in burns. He asks what happened to them, but they literally cannot talk about it. He realizes that it's part of the curse. If he asks them direct Yes/No questions, they can answer him--so he learns that yes, they both died in a fire in the chateau a long time ago, and yes there is a curse, and yes Louis can help them, and yes they know how, and no they can't tell him how, and yes they know who cursed them, and yes the one who did it is still in the chateau. Only when he asks if it's Lestat, the ghosts just clam up and vanish.

So Louis goes investigating the next morning. The forbidden West Wing is locked off, but when he forces it open and rummages around he learns that it's actually Gabrielle's old bedroom. The REAL mess Louis finds is in the basement, Bluebeard/QotD style. He heard that same violin again, coming from the lower levels, and followed it to a secret door. In the basement is Lestat's coffin room, sealed tight cuz Lestat's asleep during the day. But there's also a stench coming from down the hall. It's not the smokey smell the curse had glamored away, this is a REAL stench: it's Lestat's blood-dungeon, where he keeps the Evil Doers he drains & kills--there's old bloody jars labelled Blood of a Murderer, Rapist, Thief, etc. (The reason Les was half starved is because the village is small and pickings are slim.)

Louis is horrified, and gets turned around when he stumbles out of the dungeon. He finds a gorgeous music room, with an old violin surrounded by faded sheet music--this must be where the violin Louis hears everyday is being played. He sits down to catch his breath, not really caring about investigating any further, but before he can even collect his thoughts Lestat barges into the room screaming for Louis to get out and not touch anything and leave.

Naturally, Louis runs for the hills. ghost!Claudia & Magnus follow him, begging him to come back, but he ignores them. He gets lost, and on the edge of the village in the woods is what turns out to be an old cemetery--Les Innocents, which is crawling with revenants.

Armand's coven abducts Louis and drags him into the catacombs, easily pulling from his mind that Louis was living with Lestat. He mercilessly harasses Louis, saying something about "doing to him what he did to Nicki," and how he'll use Louis as bait to jump Lestat and steal his secrets (about Those Who Must Be Kept ofc). But Louis insists that because Lestat kicked him out, he's not coming. But Louis' not helpless--ghost!Claudia & Magnus find Louis, and help him escape by burning the place down while the vamps are all asleep.

Louis runs back into the woods, as firemen from the village come to keep the fire from spreading--they're not even tryna go near Les Innocents, as they're actually well aware that Lestat & Armand have vampire territorial beef, and assume that Lestat must've finally decided to kick Armand out for good. No one told Lou that they knew about vamps, cuz as an outsider/stranger he wouldn't understand.

The ghosts ask Louis what he'll do now, but he's all shaken up. It doesn't matter anyway, cuz out of the mist comes Lestat like Mr. Darcy, headed right for Louis. Lestat is a sobbing weeping mess, and the blood loss from all his crying has degenerated him back to his cadaver-like form--Louis at first fears he's another of Armand's revenants. Lestat was scared he was too late--by the time he'd decided to go after Louis, the sun had risen, and Armand already had Louis locked up--and humans don't last long under Les Innocents. Louis says the ghosts helped him. Lestat is relieved; Louis' a strong witch, as only witches can get ghosts to help them so far away from the place they died. Louis asks "Is Nicki a ghost, too? Is he the one who's been playing violin everyday? Is he the one who cursed you? Is Nicki the one who can lift it?"

The floodgates open--Lestat can answer Yes/No questions, so he says Yes, Nicki was Lestat's lover back when they were both human, hundreds of years ago; they both loved playing music together, and dreamed of touring the world in a troupe. Magnus turned Lestat and took Lestat as his protege in the Blood. All the other servants were scared off, but Claudia was left behind & abandoned, so Lestat turned her. Nicki refused to be turned, appalled by their vampirism. The rival vampire in the area Armand kidnapped Nicki as leverage to get Magnus and/or Lestat to give up the secret of TWMBK (cuz Magnus knows Rhoshamandes, and Rhosh is from the First Brood). Magnus refused to say anything, even if Nicki would be killed, and convinced Lestat not to start a vampire war with Armand, who was gonna leave Lestat soon anyway. When Nicki learned of this betrayal, he cursed Lestat and the whole household: a fire started in the chateau the same night Armand killed Nicki, taking out Magnus & Claudia, and leaving Lestat burned & disfigured for centuries. Nicki's curse was a deadlock: the ghosts can't leave the castle, Lestat can't leave the village, and Armand can't leave Les Innocents. The best they can do is lure people to them. And they couldn't tell anyone about it, either--but ofc curses have loopholes, which is why Yes/No questions work.

Louis asks if he was lured as prey to the chateau, and Lestat laughs, it honestly was a coincidence that a human with witch-blood would answer his post--he really did need an assistant/accountant, to make sure his estate could maintain the villagers if anything happened to him; Lestat was certain he was dying before Louis showed up. The dreams were the only way Lestat could be whole again, away from Nicki's curse, safe in Louis' mind. Not everything in the dreams were his doing--Louis' own magic made it way stronger than it normal. But when Lestat realized he could speak freely in the dreams, he should have been honest with Louis, so he understands if Louis wants to leave--this has been a nightmare.

But Louis asks to be taken back to the chateau. Loustat & the ghosts all head back. Lo and behold, even though it's nighttime, the violin can be heard all the way outside, and when they enter the chateau Nicki's ghost is standing right there at the front door. Louis is very empathetic & sympathetic, and urges Nicki to release the curse so that he too can be free of this place. Lestat apologizes too, but Nicki's not really interested in what he has to say, LOL. Nicki hands Louis the old violin, and Louis smashes it, sets it on fire, and scatters the ashes out in the garden. Nicki vanishes for good, and Magnus & Claudia's souls are free.

As for Loustat, they decide to renovate the chateau. While it's under construction, they'll travel the world together. Louis remains Lestat's accountant/agent until they hire a new one (Roget), so that Lestat can turn Louis. They become vampire companions, and have a much healthier relationship.

I have insomnia, and these dreams are NOT helping.