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#and that would be a reason that would be made worse by seeing all this stuff
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Does the play in revival my dream is really racist/stereotypical ?
Yes, I don't think it was intentional at all in fact it's pretty clear the intention was to say "don't judge those who are different from you just because you don't understand them" but ultimately they failed at that.
The play presents it as a very "both sides" kind of issue in terms of the natives and colonisers not understanding each other. There's also this line:
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Before this the town dwellers (colonisers) had been incredibly rude towards and fearful of the forest people (natives). The girl Emu is playing rescues a solider after her people attacked him, even though the soliders had literally just invaded their land "just to check" if the natives were gonna attack the town. "They're not all bad" to the officer who just led a march onto someone else's land just in case is not the right message here at all.
Also ultimately it's revealed that the conflict between the both sides was instigated by a third party. The worse coloniser who wants to exploit the natives for their natural resources. The townspeople are the good colonisers who should be forgiven for their actions because they were manipulated by the antagonist who is a bad coloniser is also not a good look. Like it really hammers in the "not all bad" message here by introducing the only character who you are meant to think of as bad. Not like the other townspeople were incredibly racist before they made amends with the natives. That can be forgiven because they don't really think like that they were just manipulated by the evil exploitative coloniser. Do you see how bad that message is.
(Also there's a line about how the townspeople might sell Emu to another country for interacting with them and maybe we're meant to view it as an exaggeration but either way. Why are we meant to be forgiving towards these people again?)
While the movie Emu and Nene's cards seem to take inspiration of is based on the Emishi people, it's more likely that the play is based on Ainu people, due to the more recent archetecture used in the sets, as well as the costumes for the officer and subordinate (refer to Tsukasa's rmd untrained). Emishi people are believed by historians to be ancestors (but ethnically distinct) to Ainu people. I strongly suggest looking into the history of Ainu people and the oppression they faced from the Japanese government and other countries (European ones surprise surprise), because the oppression dates back over a millenium and is far too much for me to reasonably cover in any detail. In brief, the government for centuries has regarded the Ainu people as a primitive and barbaric group (both terms are also used in the rmd play), and in recent centuries took their lands in northern Japan with the expectation that the Ainu would assimilate with the Yamato Japanese people. Post WW2 they were denied rights to their traditional practices and even their language due to governments pushing for monoculturalism.
That's not even going into the fact that the reason wxs is the only unit that has card sets based on other cultures (this and island panic) is because they're treated like costumes, which in itself is an incredibly dehumanising and racist way to think.
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Scarf To You ~ KSM
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☪WORD COUNT: 1.7K
☪GENRE: established relationships, cute fluffy, seungmin and reader having a crush
☪PAIRING: Seungmin x Fem!Reader
☪Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - September 2024
☪MASTERLIST
a/n: I hope this is okay for you! I’ve tried to write it in a way with everything included 🥺
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Your fingers fidget with the edge of your jacket as you sit in the nurse's station, trying to focus on anything but the nerves bubbling in your stomach. This job was supposed to be exciting — working as an on-site nurse for JYP Entertainment — but the pit in your chest told a different story. It's not the new environment that has you anxious; it's the possibility of running into him.
Kim Seungmin.
You haven’t seen him in almost a month, not since the rumours started swirling about him dating someone else, not like the two of you were a couple but the endless flirting you'd done back and forth certainly made you feel that way.
It had been a gut punch, hearing it through the grapevine, and seeing the photos circulate online of him and some unknown woman cuddled up together. Even though nothing was confirmed, it hurt more than you wanted to admit. After all, the two of you had shared something… something you thought was real, even if unspoken. Even if you weren't exactly sure what that something was, there was something there between you and you knew he felt it as well.
Now, sitting here in the same building where he spends most of his days, it feels like your heart is ready to leap out of your chest at the thought of seeing him again. Your friend told you there was little to no chance of you running into each other but it didn't exactly put your heart at ease.
"Earth to Yn," your friend, Hana, calls out, snapping you out of your spiralling thoughts. She’s perched at the edge of the desk, her eyes studying you with playful curiosity. She was the reason you took this job, she'd told you to take it since you'd been on the hunt for something similar anyway.
"You look like you’re a million miles away. What’s going on?" You offer her a tight smile, shaking your head slightly. If you told her what was going on in your mind she'd tease you for it, or worse actually find Seungmin.
She was on the side of telling him the truth about everything. Admitting how much you loved him and just letting it all out into the air but you were refusing to.
"Nothing. Just… you know, first-day jitters." You shrugged and she smirked at you, shaking her head a little. She knew exactly when you were lying.
"It's about him again, right?" She watched you, studying your reaction but you shook your head. Moving over to the drawers inside of the room and doing a stock check on everything even though you'd done that four times already.
"I don't know what you're talking about," You mumbled, looking at all of the bandages in the drawer you were searching through. Trying to appear busy so she would drop the subject and move on already.
"Sure, and I'm a princess from Eldora. Tell me what's going on." She pulled your hand away from the drawers and made you look at her.
Sighing a little you rolled your eyes, she was probably sick of hearing you talk about it but you couldn't help but let it all out.
"It's weird...What if I see him? Do I act like I don't know about the dating rumours?"
"Yes, because they're not true." She mumbled at you, sitting you down on the edge of the bed and shaking her head at you. She'd been telling you this from the start that none of the rumours had actual hard evidence behind them.
"But-"
"Yn, if Seungmin was dating someone I would fucking know about it. I have eyes and ears all over this place. that man's solely had his eyes on you for the last six months." She laughs softly and you feel your body heating up.
Seungmin and you had been talking for six months, ever since he'd seen you helping an elderly woman who'd fallen in the street and he came over to help as well. You had no idea who he was at the time and it wasn't until your second time meeting that you realised he was an idol
But by then you'd already fallen for him and not because he was some famous popstar...Which Seungmin loved. He'd adored the fact that you treated him like an actual human instead of just someone who was famous. The two of you hung out a lot.
To the point where the lines blurred between friendship and dating and it was hard to determine if you were a couple or just friends. That was until his birthday when you'd seen dating rumours of him seeing someone else, someone he hadn't told you about and you felt your whole world crumble.
You'd not seen him since, despite having made him a hand knitted scarf for the winter, wanting him to have something handmade from you and something to keep him cosy.
"Hana-"
"Don't say my name like you're giving up on everything. Seungmin would never do something to hurt you." She tells you but you shake your head. It wasn't as if you were a couple, if he was seeing other people it was okay.
"It's in the past." You whisper a little trying to get off the subject now but she scoffs,
"That scarf you made for him says otherwise. You carry it around like it's a security blanket," Your breath catches in your throat, and you freeze, hoping no one else heard that. The scarf was always in your bag, she was right it was like a security blanket. You glance around the empty station trying to make sure no one heard you both, but your heart skips a beat when you realize you're not as alone as you thought you were. Footsteps approach from behind, too quiet to be anyone else but someone familiar.
You don’t dare turn around.
“What scarf?” a voice asks. That voice. The one you've been thinking about every single day for weeks now. The same voice that made your heart skip a beat whenever you heard it and your whole body erupt in goosebumps.
Seungmin.
Hana’s eyes widen in surprise, her hand flying up to her mouth as she stifles a laugh and you already knew she had something to do with him being down here.
“Oops,” she whispers to you, before straightening up with a smile, completely unbothered by the tension hanging in the air.
"Oh, this scarf that Yn made—"
"Stop!" You interject, your voice too loud, too hurried as you put your hand over her mouth to stop her from revealing anything else to him. You feel the heat rise to your face as Seungmin’s gaze locks onto yours, amusement and curiosity flickering in his eyes. His lips quirked up into a small smile, his expression soft but focused on you.
“You made a scarf?” Your throat goes dry, and you can’t think of a single reasonable response. The scarf. You had made it for him a month ago, back when things between you two felt simpler when your heart didn’t ache every time you heard his name. You had never given it to him, too scared of what it might imply — too scared of how much you cared.
Now, he’s standing in front of you, looking like he actually wants to know the answer.
“I—” you start, but your voice falters, you don't know where to begin or what to say. Was saying something too much? Was it weird that you made him it? Your eyes dart to Hana for support, but she’s clearly enjoying this too much to help.
"It’s nothing," you manage to say, barely above a whisper.
"Just something I made f-for you a while ago." Seungmin tilts his head slightly, his brows furrowing as if he's trying to piece something together. He takes a step closer, and suddenly the room feels smaller, the space between the two of you charged with unresolved emotions.
"For me?"
"Yeah, it's just- and I- and you- and then-" You stumbled over everything and it made Seungmin smile to see you so flustered in front of him. All of the other times you'd been so calm and collected around him, it was nice to see this side for once.
Without a word, Hana slipped silently out of the room leaving the two of you together as he smiled at you,
“Well, I’d like to see it sometime,” he says softly, his voice gentle, almost teasing. You swallow hard, unable to form a response as his eyes linger on yours for a moment longer
"Seungmin-"
"Please? It's been so long since I saw you and I missed you on my birthday." He admits shyly as he sits down on the nurse's bed and watches you closely.
God, it had been so long since you'd seen him and you'd missed him too but hearing him say it to you had your heart racing and your stomach twisting.
"It's...It's nothing, it's just a scarf." You stumble a little on your words as you reach down and grab your bag, pulling out the scarf you'd spent weeks making for him. Seungmins eyes lit up as he saw it,
"You made this?"
"Yeah..yeah, it was, well it's your favourite colours." you smile warmly as he takes the fabric from your hands, your fingers brushing against one another sending a wave of electricity running through you but it was nothing compared to seeing him wear the scarf around him
"I love it," He admits as you feel your heart leap into your throat and he smiles at you, a small blush on his cheeks.
"You don't have to lie, it's nothing special and I know you're with someone else," You whispered but he took your hand in his, running his other across your face and smiling sweetly as you leaned into his touch.
"There's no one else, there's never been anyone but you, Yn." He smiles as your eyes meet his, your heart practically racing and handing itself over to him.
"The first time I saw you I count as day one of our eternity together." With that he kisses you softly, your breath catching in your throat as you kiss him back gently wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and pulling him closer to you.
"I'll pick you up after work," He smiled as he leant his forehead against yours as you giggle a little,
"Sure-"
"We're going on a date too, okay? Because I'm yours and I don't want any doubts in that pretty little head of yours." He smirks before kissing you once again.
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Toby with a member of the mansion who just doesn’t like him? (Platonic btw) They don’t shit talk him or anything and work fine.. they just don’t like him in a more casual setting. -🧶 (I’m curious to see how this would go. Thank you :) )
Interesting, I think this is the first request I've gotten like this :p
Toby is, unfortunately, used to people not liking him. Part of it is due to his intentionally excitably annoying facade he keeps up all the time, and the other part of it is just due to his behaviors exhibited by his trauma, which of course isn't his fault. You don't seem to judge him for his trauma, and instead just seem to not particularly enjoy his company. The only downside to people not liking him is Toby tends to wonder what he's doing wrong to make you feel that way, as he does try very hard not to make people dislike him, and he often changes his behavior depending on who he's around. So, obviously, it bothers and upsets him that you have such disdain for him.
He knows not every person in the world is going to like him, but he can't help but wonder just what it is about him that you dislike so much. Whenever the two of you are working on missions together he's respectful and doesn't try to get too close to you, but you can always feel his eyes watching you, as though he wants to say something to you but he never does. Even when the two of you are just lounging about the mansion sometimes the feeling of someone watching you never seems to leave you, which in turn just makes you more agitated that he can't seem to leave you alone. If you tell him to knock it off he will, but it tends to make him a bit mopey, which honestly makes you prefer him just watching you from a distance. You're never rude to him, and you never talk about him behind his back, so really he has no reason to be so upset about you not liking him, but the reality is that it makes him incredibly anxious living in the same place as someone that doesn't like him, and it has him set on edge the whole time, scared one day your calm distaste might turn into something worse.
I think eventually Toby would end up wanting to have an actual sit down conversation with you to discuss that fact, just so if anything he could relax a bit more in the mansion around you. He expresses what I've written above, that he knows you don't have to like him, but that his residual trauma has him scared one day your indifference might turn into anger or violence, and he feels as though he has to walk around on eggshells around you. His honesty and openness catch you off guard, and of course, you put an end to his worries, rightfully stating that you would never want to hurt him or cause him any emotional harm. You may not like him, but you're not an asshole and you're not going to cause him any harm. Toby visibly relaxes while you explain that to him, and he apologizes for ever having such worries in the first place, and you apologize for having made him feel that way. The two of you will go back to your normal, of you not wanting to be close to him, and Toby watching you from a distance and never impeding, but I think it would be a bit lighter. Toby still views you in some sort of way as his family, as he does everyone in the mansion, and he'll protect you if he thinks he needs to, just as you would him, but he no longer really feels the pressure to try and grow closer to you. He'll accept that sometimes you can't be friends with everyone, even though he'd like to be friends with you, and maybe that chance will come in the future, but for now, he's content to just exist in your space without worry.
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saphirafoxgirlspost1 · 21 hours
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(Open Rp) The Monkey King: Reborn in "The Sakutopian Fox Princess and The Monkey King"
On the Glorious Morning, The Princess Of Sakutopia, Japan Name "Princess Saphira Lorraina Fox" Who was On the Journey To meet the Oracle At the Temple In the Mighty Forest Mountains.. She Ride Her Mighty Kirin Name "Yuki" The leader and the King of the Herds on the Path to seek The Oracle, The reason Why she was Seeking the Oracle Is because She kept Rejecting alot of Suitors back In Sakutopia, Japan. One By one, Many Suitors are rejected by the princess because their hearts are nothing but greed and Dishonoring, and their Minds Are Power Obsessive and Abusive as well, Mostly they wanted the Throne and treat Saphira Like a "simple house wife, maid, servant, or Much worse of them all.. A Slave", Then her Father Decided to Send Saphira to Seek the Oracle At the Zhen Yuan Temple to tell her Whats Her Future Husband Will be soon and what Future Holds as well. When She made it to the Zhen yuans temple, the two Guardian Deities Came and saw Saphira wearing a beautiful Royal kimono and the beautiful Celestial Fox mask and She said,
Saphira:" Greetings, I am Princess Saphira Lorraina Fox Of Sakutopia and I am Here to seek the Oracle."
Deity 1: "And you've come to stay For the Night as well after Seeking the Oracle?"
Saphira:" Why yes, I must Know what Future holds, you see i was sent From m-"
The Second Deity cut off,
Deity 2:" Your Father, we know. The Master Is Fully aware that your here as well, Your More welcome to Stay and we have a Feeling that Master Tang and Those 3 deity will be arriving as well."
Saphira: "Oh? and who are they?"
Deity 1: " We'll Deal with it, So don't worry about it. Please Follow us."
As Saphira Follows the two Deity as they Guided her to the Nice Luxurious Guest room and She loves it very much and then She thanked them very much as she bows ..and then the two Deity sense that they have arrived, as one of them told her that She can feel free to explore until The Oracle finally arrives in the Form of the elderly Woman, She told Saphira That She is in Terrible Danger and that She will be Cursed By a Demon King Name "Yuandi" the First demon Who will put Saphira Into an Eternal Sleep But She will be Awaken by true loves Kiss From a hero Who was Known as "The Great Sage equal to heaven", Saphira was Shocked that Her Future Husband will be the "Monkey king". Then She asked How would this be possible? But the oracle Answers that Destiny has it's ways to bring Two immortal lovers Together For the good of Saphira's Kingdom.. After the oracle left, Saphira began to Explore the temple while wearing a Lovely Fox Mask and began to Hum and Sings Softly with her beautiful Angelic Voice but little does she know that her Voice Echoes through temple and Nature itself At the center of the Temple, Pigsy Heard Her Voice and realized that there's a Princess In The temple as well along with an enchanted Fruit. Then He began to try to look For Sun wukong to Tell him But He already knows because he too heard Saphira's Voice, So He decided to See who She was and began Following Her beautiful Voice Unexpected By Shapeshift into a bug and Pigsy Turns into a caterpillar, When they Found Her In the Lovely Garden,, The Monkey King Saw the Princess Wearing a Fox Mask but he was curious about whats behind that mask of hers While Saphira Is relaxing and Humming beautifully until.. She saw a green Weird looking caterpillar with a Pig face..when she gets closer, Pigsy Spoke saying "Hiya gorgeous!" Saphira made a Small screams and runs off from the garden saying the caterpillar can talk, She stopped and glance back and pants..She could've swore That this Weird caterpillar can talk, She Spawn a beautiful fan and began to fan herself like she's going to Faint, After fanning herself and began to walk on the boardwalk until She hears the Fluttering of the beetle as she sees the weird Pig face caterpillar again and he Spoke again, trying to flirt at her.. but then saphira Smacked him with her fan and hits the wall as he change back to the original self with a Puff of smoke and she runs off fearfully, While she was running and head to the Big Garden part and She looked around making sure that Pigsy doesn't followed her, When she thought it was coast is clear But She was Followed by a weird Brown beetle but turns out it was the monkey king in the beetle form as she gasp and began to fall backward but She was caught by his arms and he said..
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googleitlol · 2 days
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If Dove's store went into the Lmk universe/storyline, how whould dove react to Mk? And Wukong being put into another circlet??
I'm sorry for how off the rails this ask is going to get, I'm including a lot of other stuff besides your questions cuz I've already thought about this a lot.
@marcu-bug and I have brought it up to each other before, and in LMK… Dove is reincarnated. Will I explain why?
…Not yet :D
For this, Dove is sort of like a maternal figure to MK (He's got so many dads, why not add a mom friend?). I have a oneshot planned where I'll go more into her character, but I imagine in the lmk universe, she’d be a paramedic that usually stops by Pigsy’s for lunch. Dinner too if she’s had a long day. Which is most days.
She definitely gets a lot of those ‘worried-parent’ feelings around MK and Mei, with how often they go jumping at the chance to do dumb shit. She’s seen a lot of things, but dear lord do those to take the cake for number of calls she’s had to respond to. Actually, that’s probably how she first discovered the noodle shop, responding to a call Pigsy made when Mei took MK for a ride on her motorcycle and they crashed. I imagine like an old bartender, Pigsy would listen to her rants about her shift with Tang enjoying a bowl next to her. Being a paramedic is tough, having her gift is helpful but sometimes Dove is running into hostile situations on the job. Sometimes she sees something that shakes her, but Pigsy and Tang are there to listen at the end of the day. It also helped her to unwind by hearing Tang tell MK all about the Journey to the West and the Monkey King. It'd be a lie to say she wasn't a little intrigued by his stories, just a bit.
She joins the monkie gang when the pilot begins and helps out when she can, and funnily enough, Red Son gets pretty uncomfortable around her. Not that she gets to join her friends too often, and for a very specific reason. Sun Wukong. At first, Dove thinks he's a generally cold guy, he's always on his mountain, doesn't socialize much, and he's pretty standoff-ish around her. But after seeing how he is with MK, she quickly realizes that isn't the case.
Okay, he's just an ass, then. A confusing one, at that.
It seems like Monkey King will do whatever it takes to avoid her, but at the same time, he pushes himself into her life in the most frustrating ways imaginable. Nearly anytime she's invited to do anything fun with her friends or go on any sort of adventure, she gets a call from her building manager that something is leaking in her apartment, or a strange call from her boss asking if she can do another shift last-minute, only for them to be none the wiser about ever asking her to do that. Dove didn't realize who was behind these strange happenings, but when she figured it out, boy was she pissed.
It's not uncommon to see Dove and Wukong arguing, much to MK's dismay. She just doesn't get why he's decided to hate her, he doesn't even know her! One time, he asked her to help a monkey of Flower Fruit Mountain that needed medical help, but when she got there, he left her stranded on the mountain while he went on vacation! Dove couldn't see the mainland for days until MK and Tang visited the mountain for a separate reason about some giant dumpling. It doesn't get much better when the team has to go looking for the Samadhi rings. If anything, it gets worse. Monkey King is so aggravated to even have Dove with them, she'd half-expect that he wanted her left to be frozen in the city with Lady Bone Demon! He doesn't want her anywhere near the ritual where they form the fire. The unfriendly behaviour doesn't stop until, well, Amnesia Rules…
When Monkey King loses his memory and gives her this look of shock, the last thing she expects is for him to scoop her into his arms with the tightest hug she's ever experienced. A flip switched in his attitude towards her, and it's made all the more confusing after he explains that Pigsy is Zhu Bajie and Tang is Tang Sanzang
"Who do you think I am, then?"
"You're my one and only, Love-Dove!"
She's not sure what's worse, that god-awful nickname or the fact that he thinks he's in love with her! Although, as the day goes by… she can't say she's unopposed to seeing this much friendlier side of him. Even if she only got to see it for a little while.
It likely wouldn't be until Wukong is about to face LBD that he finally admits to her why he was so upset about her being there, how she was the reincarnation of his one and only love. A love he lost, in a way that he could only blame himself. He couldn't bear the thought of putting her near harm's way again, not when their mission revolved around a power that was responsible for her past life's death (I might go into it in another ask/post, this is getting long)
After learning all of what they'd gone through in her past life, Dove is… apprehensive, to say the least. Some of his actions from the past, they make sense to her now, but it doesn't make her forgive him completely. Still, she remembers how Sun Wukong was when he had lost his memory… she would like to see that side of him more.
It takes them time to get past their rocky start (these two can never just start off liking each other smh), but in time, Dove starts to see more of that side she'd seen during Amnesia Rules. And she starts to fall for him all over again. He tells her about her past life, their time together on the journey, all of it. He admits how he robbed her of immortality… and how she tricked him into wearing the circlet. Their ups and their downs, he tells her everything. By the time season 5 rolls around, they're happy together. He's even offered her an immortal peach from the tree he's grown on FFM, so that he can finally make up for the mistake he made all those years ago.
Then… Li Jing puts the circlet on Wukong, again.
The moment Dove finds out, she's furious. How could they hurt him like that again?! Wukong tries to put her mind at ease, but it takes a lot to calm her down. "It's fine, Dove… I was honestly pretty disappointed. He put it on and just left, at least you were creative about it back in the day." That night, in the back of Sandy's van, Dove is littering his head in kisses, she can hardly imagine how painful it must feel. You best believe the moment they see Li Jing chasing them, she's aiming whatever she can find straight for his head. If he thinks he can induce some magic migraine on her man like that, she'll find a way to pay back the favour, tenfold. Nobody touches her Sun Wukong but her.
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chevelleneech · 2 days
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Are You Sure? - Ep8
Here are my thoughts now that I finally watched the episode (I was at work all day, anon, lol).
I honestly don’t have too too many, because my main takeaway was that they seemed to have truly needed these trips together. They knew by Jeju they’d be enlisting together, so I feel like any thoughts I had about the trips being a sort of last hurrah before potentially being separated go out the window.
They knew they’d be together, so barring them being romantically involved in some way… I kind of don’t get the point of the series.
Had this been a special involving other members, then it being work related would make sense. Had this been more like the Jeju episodes where they weren’t as laid back, I’d get it, but it wasn’t. Five out of eight episodes focused on them not doing much else other than simply spending time together. Sight seeing and going out to eat, with a sprinkle of activities. We saw them shopping for food and driving more than anything else, but for some reason they both still say the whole experience and filming of the series was the best thing they’ve gotten to do.
That to me, and I say this with full honesty, does not make sense to me, if they’re strictly platonic. I don’t know, episode eight sees them putting a certain level of importance on these trips that many antis wanted to rip away, and surely they knew that. They know what people think about them in their own fandom, both for the better and the worse, and they didn’t care. Which, good for them.
Moving away from my confusion in an attempt to find another explanation, I also think their joint melancholy about having to leave triggered the dropping of their guards a little bit. Add that to them drinking some, and their whole reaction moment felt almost intrusive to see, lol. They kept gravitating toward each other the entire time, only for the editors to skip to them sitting back up with more space between them. Nevermind the footsie and Jimin walking by the room they were shown going to bed in, when he said he was going to wake JK up.
So unless Jungkook was already up and in the shower or something, which they conveniently didn’t mention despite doing it every other time… they either didn’t sleep in the room with the camera or JK moved rooms. But again, given they gave us updates about every other sleeping arrangement or change, why would their last night be different if nothing happened? (By “nothing” I genuinely mean I think they moved to a different room without a camera, likely to talk or simply be closer. Not necessarily sex, because again, I don’t see them going there with a house full of staff.)
Pure speculation of course, lol, but yeah. Those moments made me feel a little like, okay, they did this with the intent of making memories. They may have wanted to cement who they are to each other in this moment, because no matter how optimistic they were that things wouldn’t change and their friendship would be solid, no one can predict the future.
Couple that with them both starting Ep1 saying they hadn’t seen each other and Jimin not being sure (no pun intended) the trip was a good idea in the first place, to them ending Ep8 saying they didn’t want it to be over and spent the last few days happy… it’s a big deal, I think. Especially with how many times they spent their last day in Sapporo taking about how romantic and pretty everything was.
Per the words from their own mouths, they created a small, romantic, nice, and happy bubble they didn’t want to leave, and I love that for them. They got to be happy and cared for by one another, and want to spend many more years to come doing the same thing. I hope they get that.
Oh and final thought… I want that house! Their final Sapporo house was beautiful, as was the town. It felt like a holiday special!
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itsnotbird · 2 days
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Orphic ~ File 3
Abience (n) ; the strong urge to avoid someone or something
Bucky!Barnes x Fem!Reader
Find previous part here
Masterlist
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An entire month passes since the strange incident. A complete month fades before you’re even mentioned again amongst the Avengers, and that’s only because Nick Fury turns back up with a thick looking file.
It’s all hushed whispers, and he and Tony spend an hour and thirty minutes in a conference room, discussing just what was in the file.
“I still can’t believe I missed something as big as this.” Nat says, trying to listen in on the conversation. Her ear pressed to the locked door, Steve, Wanda, and Sam wait behind her, all curious too.
“Yeah, it was certainly interesting.” Steve adds, arms crossed over his chest. His morals say not to eavesdrop, but he’s only human after all and he’s completely curious.
Inside the room, Tony rubs his head, trying to process the information.
“It’s a brand new case that opened up, all because Barnes pulled her from the street. I wouldn’t be here if I thought she couldn’t be trusted.” Fury states in a serious manner, watching Tony pick up a few more photos.
He aches, knowing how bad he treated you. Now, your life is spread out in front of him, showing him exactly why you acted the way you did.
“You really want us to take this on? To take her on?” He asks, pushing the evidence photos out of his sight, not baring to look at your marks and the brand on the back of your neck any longer.
Fury gathers the multitude of papers and sorts them back into the correct places. “She’s smart, really smart.” He says. “She was monitored, observed, we learned her habits, her behavior. She’s perfectly in control of her power, we made immense progress…”
Tony cocks his head. “But?”
“But, she’s just a little odd. She told us everything she knew, then went completely silent. Her therapist said it’s normal, it’s how she copes. If you ask her to do a task, she’ll do it, she knows the importance of her cooperation…she just needs to work on her people skills. That’s why I want her here.”
His jaw sets, then he groans at Fury’s request. “Fine. We’ll put her here.”
Fury smirks, closing his brief case up. “Good, she’ll be moved here in an hour.”
Tony glares. “How did you know I’d agree?”
Fury simple chuckles. “Because you never turn away strays anymore, even if it makes you grumpy.”
What the group waiting outside doesn’t expect is for the door to open so suddenly, making them earn a displeased look from Fury as he walks past them.
“Oh, good, some of you are already here.” Tony states, motioning them in. “Team meeting.”
- - - -
“How are the nightmares?”
Bucky stays silent, then looks at the clock to see if his mandatory hour is up yet.
It isn’t.
“I don’t have them.” He half lies, looking back to Dr. Raynor.
She gives him a look. “I don’t believe that.”
He fights his urge to groan. “Well, maybe you should, Doc.”
She sighs, then clicks her pen and pulls her notebook to her.
“Oh, don’t start with the damn notebook.” Bucky rolls his eyes. “I’m talking, aren’t I? That was the deal? I talk, you don’t write.”
The woman shakes her head. “You’re talking but giving no real answers.”
“I told you I’m not having the same nightmares.” He reasons, not realizing he just lead on to more questions.
“So you’re having different ones?” She asks, putting her pen down and giving him her full attention.
“I guess, yeah.” He shrugs, grinding his back molars.
“Are they better or worse?”
He wanted to storm out of the room, and he would if he wouldn’t get arrested. She had a way of poking and prodding at him, it made him twitch. Or maybe he was still feeling the side effects of the strange girl that shocked his nervous system.
“I don’t know…they’re different.” He states, a curt tone.
“What’s different about them?”
He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “I’m not…killing people. Guess that’s progress, huh?” He attempts to joke, but she doesn’t smile, she just urges him to continue. So he looks down at his knee bouncing up and down.
“There’s someone else in them…this person.”
She’s interested in this. “A different person? Do you know them?”
I pulled her from the rain.
“No, not really.”
Raynor nods. “This is good, this is change. What is this person doing in the dreams?”
His fists clench, he bites his tongue for a moment too long. “She’s not doing anything except for just being there-”
“She?”
Crap. Now he’s said too much.
“Can we just talk about something else?” He grumbles, blinking hard in hopes of pushing the vision of your grey eyes out of his mind.
“You want to talk about something else?” She sighs. “Okay, how about other small changes you’re making? Have you been talking to your friends? Steve, Sam?”
Bucky sneers. “Sam isn’t my friend.”
Raynor rolls her eyes. “You get my point. Have you been talking to them?”
“Yeah, we chat over tea.” He says in a dry sarcastic tone.
The woman shakes her head. “We talked about this, you can’t push people completely away. When I suggested the apartment, I told you it was to heal on your own time, with no negative influences. That didn’t mean stop talking to the people who care about you.”
She had no clue what she was talking about, it made him agitated. When Raynor determined that he wasn’t going to discuss this either, she lets out a long sigh, then looks at him in question.
“You gonna get a haircut?” She asks.
He throws his hands up. “Now my hair’s the problem? You’re extra passive aggressive today, Doc.”
“You say that every session, James. I’m just asking a question because it’s getting a little long.”
He rubs his temple where he feels a headache coming on. “If I get a haircut, will you stop being so harsh?”
“No.”
What is he doing with his life?
- - - -
The team would have been more welcoming to you if they could find you.
Simply, you find a very quiet corner and sit there, listening and observing. Not necessarily hiding, but people tend to pass by without even noticing.
“Where is she?” Nat asks the guys who stand in the dining room, waiting for the meal to be done.
They all sort of shrug, it’s Steve that motions in a direction.
“I think she’s in the west hallway, by the ficus plant.” He says.
Natasha scoffs. “Did anyone tell her we are going to eat dinner?” She asks, looking between the group of them.
They all share a look of ‘did we?’
The answer is no.
“Maybe you guys should work on your people skills.” She says before walking off to retrieve you.
It even takes her a second to find you, but when she does, she smiles softly. Crouching to your level, she reaches for the phone in your hands that has about ten contacts and a music app. You search the music library, clicking on songs you’ve never heard before. They play through your headphones, a gift from Fury himself when your therapist expressed your love for music.
As Natasha lowers the phone from your face, you gently jump in surprise, then take the headphones off.
“Hi.” She says. “We’re going to be eating dinner, I’m sorry if people ignored you.”
You don’t respond, just nod.
“I’m Natasha.” She introduces as you stand from your corner, and she looks you over.
Your shoes were not laced up, you had knee high socks on that the hem of your dress dusted. A much too large sweater hung over your frame to help keep your body temperature warm, though it doesn’t help too much.
“Tomorrow, I’m going to sneak you out and we’re going to the mall. Okay?” She tells you, feeling bad that you’re wearing clothes S.H.E.I.L.D pieced together from a donation bin.
You look at your outfit and then nod, enjoying the idea of wearing pants.
You trail behind this sudden new friend, still intimidated by the large size of the facility. Soon, you enter the more comforting area of the compound and the full table of faces greet you with unsure smiles.
“Sit here.” Natasha says, pointing to the empty chair between her and Steve.
You do just that, but what you don’t expect is for the face across from you to be so…tense.
Bucky came to dinner after Raynor said all the right words to piss him off. He needed to prove her wrong, needed to prove that he could socialize…he just chose not to…and he had to be here for the new project plan in the morning. But what he didn’t think was going to happen was the girl that’s been tormenting him for a month to come and sit across from him. Your outfit was strange and pieced together, your long hair was in a braid that laid on your shoulder, you sat there with confusion and unsureness as everyone began to eat and talk.
You stayed completely silent.
“You don’t need permission to eat.” Steve softly whispers as a reminder as he sees your hesitation.
Right.
Free will.
You had that now.
Utensils scraped on plates, people joked and laughed, you just ate in the most polite way possible.
Bucky stared.
And most get uncomfortable by it, but you just stare back. It’s not a glare, there’s no meaning of anger behind it, it’s just a shared expression that catches the attention of the ones around you.
“Oh great, we got another one that stares.” Sam exclaims.
Steve clears his throat. “That’s James, or Bucky, whatever you want to call him.” He tells you, and of course you don’t respond, just hold the strange eye contact.
Bucky’s the first to break, he talks a gulp of water and looks away.
Tony breaks up the awkwardness. “Alright, Five? Is that what they’re calling you? Your room is next to Nat’s, remember? So that’s where you go after your infusion.”
You nod, and it raised confusion.
“Infusion?” Steve asks as you stare at your spoonful of mashed potatoes before taking the bite.
Tony looks at you, almost expecting you to answer the Captains question. You’re distracted though with finishing your meal to show you are appreciative of their kindness.
So Tony continues. “There’s just some things she needs until we can ween her off of it.”
You hate the way he says it, with pity like you’re a sick animal. A junky.
Your plate is clean now, you put your dirty utensils on it and then finish your water.
No one notices this habit except for Bucky.
Because he remembers doing that. He remembers completing tasks so carefully and waiting for either approval or a slap in the face. It makes him feel odd, makes him want to reach across the table and knock your neat work over.
You pull the sleeves of the chunky sweater over your hands, feeling a wave of tiredness sweep through you as well as that almost violent shiver of coldness. Everyone is lost in conversation about what the plan was for tomorrow, but you feel that teasing heat source radiate beside you and can’t help the way you lull towards it.
“Is this normal?” Steve asks as he feels the way you lean into his side, like a reptile to a heat lamp.
You’re asleep in an instance.
Bruce frowns. “The place she came from had her on a lot of bad stuff…the doctors who were assigned to her at SHEILD say her nerves are kind of shot. That’s why she’s always cold. As far as the falling asleep thing…well, she’s kind of traumatized so that tends to make people exhausted.”
Everyone gets very quiet, and Bucky knows that look on his best friend’s face. His brows are creased, eyes a little sad as he looks down at you. That means one thing only, that he was going to go full Captain America mode and try and save you.
“Is that what the team meeting is about in the morning?” Natasha asks. “Her situation?”
Tony nods. “Looks like you and Sleepy the dwarf have some things in common.”
- - - -
Everyone left the dining room, but Bucky lingered momentarily.
He stared at that damn plate.
Steve had woken you up and sent you to the MedBay, you made sure things looked perfect before you went.
Now, he reaches out and messes the whole thing up before Wanda - who’s on dish duty because she could clean everything up in two seconds- catches him.
“Buck, hey.” Steve says as he finds his friend heading to his spare room that he stays in when there’s things to do early in the morning.
The two super soldiers walk in silence for a moment before Steve speaks up.
“She scares you, doesn’t she?” He asks.
Bucky lies. “Why would she scare me?”
“Because she’s in the same position you were in.”
Bucky clenches his teeth, cursing his friend’s intuition.
What was he supposed to say? That he wanted to stay far away from you for some unknown reason? That part of him wishes he wasn’t the one to rescue you? Or that he wants to ask you every question he has and try to figure out the way your brain works?
He can’t say any of that.
So he just avoids the statement all together. “Yeah, well you’re gonna tuck her under your wing just because she’s needy, so you shouldn’t be asking me about her, Pal.” He jokes with a smile.
Steve laughs and shakes his head. “Oh come on, give me a break, alright?”
As they stop in front of Bucky’s room, Sam happens to pass them.
“You gonna get a haircut?” He asks Bucky.
The soldier glares. “Does my hair just offend everyone now?”
File 4
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pumpkinmetaphor · 2 days
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im pretty sure its a running joke in the kyokao fandom that they actively make each other worse which i think is absolutely hilarious (because like, yeah annoying capitalist x annoying capitalist) but what are some of the ways you think they improve each other? :D /gen
Great question!
I think Kyoya makes Kaoru more ambitious. Kaoru is smart enough to skirt by most of the time without much effort or forethought. I would not hesistate to believe that he and Hikaru are only doing like half their subjects and then taking tests for each other. I also think Kaoru is immature and nebulous about the future and what he wants from it.
Someone like Kyoya, who is very goal oriented and future focused would be somewhat of a motivating factor. Hikaru and Kaoru's decision to go to Tokyo University is more triggered by Haruhi and Nanako than Kyoya's still pending decision to stay in Boston, but I think Kyoya seeing what he wants and going for it is impressive. I think Kaoru would take his work more seriously, maybe take more of an interest in the business side of things if Kyoya made it more fun.
Meanwhile, I think Kaoru would motivate Kyoya to reevaluate what he thinks freedom means. Freedom is Kaoru's family motto and something Kyoya strives for and thinks he has- but has he? I think in the same way Tamaki makes him reevaluate the box his father has put him in, Kaoru would help recontextualise that a bit more. Yes, you don't have to be trapped in the expectations of your birthright, but maybe you don't need to be beholden to anyone's expectations of you- Kyoya himself said it doesn't matter as long as the people he cares about knows who he is, so maybe he should live by that instead.
The host club in general convinces Kyoya to have a bit more fun, but I think even Kaoru's specific situation- overshadowed by his elder brother, possibly disinherited due to reasons unrelated to merit- and the fact that Kaoru would be entirely unbothered by it would allow Kyoya to maybe reevaluate his options and pick ones that allow him that freedom. After all, those who live freely are the winners, right? And Kyoya wants to win.
I think this "Kaoru makes Kyoya a freer spirit" stops slightly short of Kaoru getting him on a motorbike at any point.
Basically, I think they mellow each other out. Kaoru works harder, Kyoya becomes less of a workaholic. Kaoru becomes a little more self-possessed, Kyoya becomes a little bit freer.
I also think, as me and @pilindiel were only discussing earlier, they mesh pretty well with each other's anxieties. They're two people who believe that they can only be love for the mask they put on, and two people who quite easily see through each other's masks. As long as the people you care about know who you are, nothing else matters- is as much about Kaoru as it is about Kyoya. It's an inadvertant, egotistical admission by Kyoya that he does know who Kaoru is and Kaoru does care about him, and vice a versa. Platonically, and bewildering to Kaoru at this point, but important nonetheless. Kyoya proves his point by even saying it and articulating it as a viewpoint that Kaoru would share- because he does know who Kaoru is, and nothing else about it matters.
But yeah, Kyoya believes that it is more important for the people he cares about to know him than it is for them to love him. And Kaoru is kind of into the whole evil scheming ambition thing so that negates that concern. And Kaoru meanwhile is terrified of being made obsolete and being left behind. Which is negated somewhat by Kyoya being the kind of guy with the dedication to stick to his convictions, one of which he has decided is the perpetuity of the host club. And one would be Kaoru too, of course.
Also just tacking on at the end because I'm rambling too much. I think Kyoya would make Kaoru more independent-- something Kaoru already strives for a bit more of, but there's nothing like giving someone a reason not to share a bedroom with their sibling anymore as that final push. And I think Kaoru would encourage Kyoya to be less self-isolating, less of a lone wolf. Mainly because he likes getting into other people's business. Kaoru loves teamwork <- freak.
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stayandcozy · 2 days
Text
Reflection of Us
Hyunjin X Reader Oneshot
WORDCOUNT: 3833
Masterlist
MATURE THEME ADVISED (Smut Focused)
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These celebrity parties normally never bothered me. I was used to smiling and just nodding my head as big name idols rambled to me about a lifestyle I completely didn't understand. But that was okay. I didn’t mind and often I enjoyed getting to know more about the life Hyunjin lived. 
When we first started seeing each other two years ago, I made it clear that I didn’t want to share that type of lifestyle with him yet. I wanted something quieter, more romantic. But of course that only got to last a while, luckily we both knew it would happen. That Hyunjins relationship with me would get leaked. It was horrible at first, with fans sending death threats and him needing extra security. But now things have settled down and as my punishment I get to go to these parties. 
Worse was that these were not just social events for the boys but also work. Which meant Hyunjin was off playing the politics of his life. And I was forced to listen as Changbin listed off all his reasons for getting the idols to play a baseball tournament. 
“Oh come on, you have to see it right? All of us in those cute little outfits running around? The fans would eat out of our hands! Imagine how cute Hyunjinnie would look.” 
“Bin, your fans would be too focused on how bad you all are to pay attention to the outfits.” I said while taking a sip of champagne. It was expensive and still tasted like shit. 
“Where is your boyfriend, I need someone to team up with,” and with that he started whipping his head around to look for Hyunjin. I was completely unbothered by his antics so I just shook my head and looked down to check the time on my phone. But when I looked back I saw that his eyes had grown three sizes bigger. I followed Changbins gaze to the corner of the room where Hyunjin was sitting on a chair with two girls on each arm rest. They were giggling at something he said, and touching his shoulder flirtatiously. 
Not here. Don't make a scene, anywhere but here. 
As if he could feel the jealousy radiating off me, Changbin turned to me trying to diffuse the situation. “I’m sure he doesn’t even realize what they're doing.” 
I took my glass of champagne and swished it down in one gulp. “No, maybe not, but I’m not sure that makes it any better.” 
I couldn’t stop myself from staring at them. The way both girls would lean into his sides. It was driving me crazy. It made me even more sick when I saw Hyunjin look up and smile at one of them. What kind of game was he playing? Did he want cheating rumors to start, because this is exactly how you get into that kind of scandal. Or maybe he just genuinely enjoyed the attention. The thought he was enjoying himself started a deep burning in my chest and before I knew it my vision was blurring. 
Sometimes it felt like Hyunjin knew something was wrong when he shouldn't. There have been too many days after work where I couldn’t find the energy to make an effort, and before I could even tell him, he’d be calling me. Telling me how much he loves me, and that no matter what he’d be there for me. That sixth sense he had, must have been the reason his brows scrunched and he looked up to meet my glare.
There was no way from that distance he could have seen me on the verge of crying. But I guess from my deep set frown he knew something was wrong. He started to get up but one of the girls started pouting, put a hand on his chest and pulled him back into the chair. I saw him say something to the girl but then the other put her hand on his thigh. Way too high for it to be innocent. And that was enough for me. I wasn’t going to sit here and watch my boyfriend get felt up.
“Hey Bin, can I take your dorm key? I left my car keys there and I’m not feeling too well.” I let the lie slip out even though I knew he was going to call my bluff. 
“It’s pretty cold outside, do you want me to call you a taxi?”
“No really, I’d rather walk. Give me a chance to ease my stomach.” He gave me a sympathetic look before digging into his pockets to retrieve a key. He dropped it in my hand before walking off in the direction of Chan and Felix. 
I didn’t waste any more time, and rushed to grab my coat and head for the doors. The air outside instantly nipped at my nose and cheeks. Changbin wasn’t kidding, it was unbearably cold. But the temperature was helping cool down the fire burning inside of me. Every time I thought of her fingers grazing his thigh it ignited stronger. Why didn’t he stop them? Was he really enjoying it like I thought? I know that he’s surrounded by beautiful idols every day but never once have I ever felt insecure. Not until then at least. That definitely made me insecure, hyper aware of every flaw on my body. 
Three quick beeps from my phone pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts. 
From My Love <3 
9:52 pm
Hey sweetheart, where did you go? I saw you one second and then you were gone.
9:52 pm
Please tell me you aren’t walking home.
9:53 pm
Changbin told me you left and then called me an idiot…? Did I do something????
I didn’t have the energy for it. I just wanted to get back to my apartment and sleep. I clicked my phone off and instantly another text came through 
From My Love <3 
9:54 pm
I know you saw those. You’re making me anxious. Can you please tell me what’s going on baby? I can’t leave for a bit more, will you at least let me know you’re okay? 
A petty thought came to me, one that I knew wasn’t right but I wanted to hurt him like how I felt hurt. If he was fine with having two random girls flirt with him all night, then he would be perfectly fine not knowing if I was okay or not. Imagining him panicking over me made me feel a little better, which also made me feel insanely guilty. Whatever, he could handle one night of worrying about me. 
The rest of the walk didn’t feel real. I couldn’t recall a single thing from my walk, only that my insides were too numb for me to register any of the numbing on the outside. But when I walked into the dorm building, my ears started to hurt from the cold. I really needed a shower, something to warm me up and calm me down. 
It was rare that the dorms were this quiet. It was nice. 
I figured I still had a good few hours before any of them came home, and Hyunjins shower had one of those waterfall heads that dropped soft water. I opened the door and turned on the water as hot as it would go. A smile crept onto my face as I thought about how Hyunjin has screamed and called me his demon in the past whenever I got in first. But that smile soon disappeared as the thought connected me to everything from tonight, and it hit me again like a train. A scream was threatening to spill past my lips but instead only a choked sob came out. I let my legs give out as I sat and nothing could stop the onslaught of tears. 
What was wrong with me? Was I not enough for him? Did he want something more than what I could give? I couldn’t compete with those girls, who am I even kidding. Maybe it would be easier on everyone if he dated someone from the celebrity world. He shouldn’t even be with someone like me. I should take some space from him. 
The waves of thoughts were exhausting me more and more. I needed to get home. Sleep would bring clarity, surely it would. 
When I stepped out of the bathroom, the steam shrouded around me. Looking up from the ground, I was met with the red and puffy eyes of Hyunjin. I nearly screamed, not expecting anyone home, and feeling all too vulnerable in only a towel. 
“He told me you left because of me…” he started but trailed off when he had to wipe away a few stray tears. It took everything in me not to caress his pretty face. 
“Yeah...” 
He just nodded, and sat looking even more devastated. I couldn’t handle it, I needed him to leave or I was going to lose my resolve. “Please, can you get out? I need to get dressed.”
“Since when have you ever been shy about your body with me?”
”Since now Hyunjin.” 
“B-but I’ve literally painted your naked body before. I’ve stared at it for hours. Thirty seconds of changing is nothing compared to that.” 
I’m not sure why it upset me, but it did. “Mmhm, and that was before I felt like I was competing with other women. Now I don't want you to see me naked.”
His eyes softened a bit but there were still more tears threatening to spill, and I absolutely hated how beautiful he looked with the added sparkle. “Baby… Is that what this is about? About Seoyun and Jiwoo?” So he knew them? I didn’t know if that should have made it better or worse but I felt the familiar burn start in my chest. He shouldn’t have left, I didn't want him to follow me. Seoyun and Jiwoo would make better company. 
“Hyun, please leave.”
“No.”
“Why are you being so difficult? Can’t you see you’ve upset me and I want to be alone?” 
A small, exasperated giggle fell from his swollen lips. “I didn’t upset you. You got jealous.”
I rolled my eyes extra hard at that. “I don’t get jealous.”
“Then why did you leave the party so suddenly?” 
“Because I felt sick.”
“Because you thought I was flirting back,” he said more as a statement rather than a question. 
“No because watching you with them made me realize how terrible we look together!” It exploded out of me before I even had the chance to think. I regretted it immediately. 
“Come here.”
“Hyun no I don’t—”
“Sweetheart. I said come here.” 
He said it with such authority I felt like I had no choice but to listen. I let my legs carry me over to stand in front of him. But that wasn’t enough for him, he wanted, needed me closer. His hands came to my back, and pushed me to sit on top of his lap, straddling him. 
My eyes were closed, I knew I couldn’t look at him. I felt his soft hands push a strand of my wet hair behind my ear and his hand lingered a bit longer, swiping at the remains of old tears. 
“There is only you…” He whispered as his lips ghosted under my ears, “there will only ever be you.” I hated how easy it was for him to affect me. The evidence of goosebumps spread across my arms gave him the push he needed to keep going. “Look at me, my love.” 
And I listened again. I opened my eyes and stared into his. He was searching for something, but I didn’t know what. I stayed quiet hoping he would continue so I didn’t have to reply. I knew if I opened my mouth, I wouldn’t be able to control what I said. 
“When I have interactions with other women at parties like that, it means nothing to me. Truthfully it makes me quite annoyed but this is my life. I can’t risk coming across as rude even if I’m uncomfortable. I let them delve into their little fantasy because it’s easier. Seoyun and Jiwoo are the nieces of one of the big donors of JYP. My managers would have killed me if they said anything about bad manners.”
“It's not fair… I don’t want them to fantasize about you.” 
A shit eating grin spread across his face when I said that. “You do realize what our fans fantasize about right?” God, I really hated him sometimes. I lightly slapped his shoulder and tried to push away from him, but his arms wrapped around my waist and wouldn’t let me move. I kept struggling to slip away and it was useless because his hold was concrete. “Hey don’t try to wiggle out of this!” He laughed and started kissing my neck. It instantly sent shockwaves through my body and my groans of displeasure turned into moans of contentment. I was embarrassed of how quickly the anger melted off of me. 
The anger disappeared completely when I felt him harden in response to my moans. 
“Hyunnie…” 
“When I look at you love, I see art. It’s why you're the subject of most of my paintings. No flowers, oceans, or fields of green could compare to you. Those girls are nothing more than a business transaction. You are my muse, not them. There’s no reason to be jealous because you don’t belong in the same world as them.” 
“Ah—No more, no more… I feel like I’m going to explode from too many emotions.”
“Then is it okay with you if I show you how beautiful we look together?”
I couldn’t do anything but nod my head weakly up and down. He moved me off his lap and walked over to his dresser before shoving it roughly in front of the bed. “Baby what are you—” I asked but I was met with a sly smile and a shushing sound, so I did nothing but sit there and watch as he moved his large full body mirror to lean on the dresser. Excited panic started to rush up my spine. Oh my god he wasn’t going to. Was he? 
My question was answered quickly when Hyunjin came behind me and sat on his knees with me in between them. If the fandom knew him from one thing, it would be his cocky confidence. The way he was able to turn anyone into putty in his hands was a divine gift. One that he used often against me. I couldn’t help but blush as I realized what his intention was, so in order to take a chance to breathe I looked down and stared at the floor. But he wasn’t having any of that, and his beautiful fingers clenched my jaw and forced me to look him in the eyes through the mirror. All too soon he removed his fingers carefully as if to gauge if I’d try to look away. When he decided it was safe he pulled away fully and his fingers went to the buttons of his shirt. 
When I thought earlier that Hyunjin shouldn’t be with someone like me, this is exactly what I meant. He was too pretty for his own good. As if he was made to be looked at. And I couldn’t look away. The way his brows scrunched in focus as he finished unbuttoning sent tingles to my thighs and I subconsciously pressed them together trying to ease the ache he was creating. After discarding the shirt on the floor he nimbly removed his pants, throwing them across the room. 
“Now,” he started. “Look at how beautiful you are.” And he hovered over my hand that was desperately holding onto the towel. I gave in immediately and let him pull the towel down. We were both staring at each other through the glass. His eyes darkened and a hungry look took over his features. It was rare for Hyunjin to get this possessive, this dominant. Staring didn’t last long, he was getting impatient I could tell by the way he subtly arched his hips into my back. Suddenly, he pushed me down so my face was pressed against the bed and my ass was up, all of my intimate parts on full display to him. No matter how many times he saw me naked, I couldn’t help the blush that would paint my cheeks. 
“I’m going to make you cum on my fingers, and you’re going to be a good princess and watch how pretty you are when you cum, okay love?” 
“O-okay.” Was all I could stammer out before I saw him take the band around his wrist and throw his hair half up out of his eyes. Fuck, he was doing it on purpose. His eyes met mine again as he twirled a strand out of the pony tail and let it fall. He knew this hairstyle made me flustered. Whenever he did it at practice he would purposely send me a picture to tease me. And that’s what he was doing right now. That cheeky grin was back, and a groan slipped past my lips. 
“Hyunnie, if you’re going to tease me all night, I’m going to go back to being mad at you,” I said. 
“Oh? Is that so…” He trailed off and I felt those godly fingers slip between my folds. “You’re too wet to be mad at me sweetheart. You would dare leave.” 
The feeling of his fingers dancing on me was making me dizzy and if I didn’t get more soon I was going to pass out. I started grinding myself back onto him. Thankfully he finally listened and those sweet fingers pushed inside me. He was slow at first, taking his time as he eased a second finger in. I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror and moaned at the sight. Hyunjin had one hand placed on my ass, and the other pumping in and out of me at a fast pace. The way he stared, captivated by me sent another shock to my brain and I could feel my orgasm bubbling. 
“Fuck… God.. Ugh baby look at you. I’m going to cum just from looking at you. You wanna cum baby? You wanna cum on my fingers?”
“Yes, god please, please, please, yes.” 
“Give it to me then baby. Cum for me.” 
And as if his every word held some supernatural force over me I did. I screamed out his name as I came around those stupid fucking fingers. 
“Did you see how pretty you looked, love?” 
Oh fuck. “I’m sorry, it felt so good baby I closed my eyes.”
He tsked, and I felt him shed his underwear. “I guess I have to do it again then and make sure you’re watching huh?” This side of Hyunjin made me weak in every way. I felt drunk on the dominance he was feeding me. I loved taking the lead with him normally but I couldn’t lie to myself. It felt insane to let him use me however he wanted. 
Before I knew it, I could feel him plunge himself into me in one slick thrust. The remains of the previous orgasm made it too easy for him to slide in. He let out a breathy moan and I snapped my eyes to the mirror to watch him. The image was so lewd. Hyunjin had both hands on my hips as he set a quick pace. I stared in awe as I watched him fuck me. Both of our moans joined together. He was right, we did look beautiful together. I nearly came when I saw him let out a light laugh and swipe his tongue over his teeth as he let out a vulgar moan. 
Watching him was bringing me closer and closer to another orgasm. 
“Mmm feel so good baby, I’m not gonna last much longer if you keep clenching me like that.” He said breathlessly. 
He was fucking me at a ruthless pace now, chasing his own high as he took quick deep thrusts. I couldn’t take it anymore, it felt so good. I let my head rest on the bed and closed my eyes for only a moment. 
“Nuh uh, we’re not doing that again,” he said as he reached forward and pulled my hair back towards him. The pain forced another loud moan out of me and it only encouraged him to go harder. I could tell he was closer from the way his eyebrows knit together and his thrusts become sloppy and greedy. He looked completely fucked out.
“Need you baby, need you to cum in me.” I managed to get out.
“Oh fuck…” and he fucked into me impossibly deeper. He still had a fist full of my hair forcing me to look in the mirror. I came instantly when I felt the warm jets of cum fill me. Clenching around him in flutters. 
He pulled me closer to his body and I felt the sticky sweat cling to my skin. His head was resting on my shoulder and I felt him watching me through the mirror, breathing heavily. I took a breath before I looked to meet his gaze. 
“See? Beautiful. We belong together. You fit me like a puzzle piece.”
I felt a pang of guilt wash over me and quickly slid off of him and turned to sit in his lap. 
“I’m so sorry I was so cold to you. I just got so insecure.” 
“It’s okay sweetheart. I understand completely. But no more being a brat to me over jealousy okay? That’s my thing.” I could help but giggle at him. He was truly the best, and I couldn’t have asked for a more caring boyfriend.
“Yeah I’ll leave the dramatics and brattiness to you. I don’t wanna feel jealous ever again.”
“Really? Not even after I fucked the jealousy out of you?” 
“Hyunjin!” 
“What! It’s true.” He giggled. God I loved him. I never hated him. I pressed my lips to him and felt him melt into my touch. 
“I love you.” I whispered. 
“I love you too.” He replied. 
His eyes looked at me so innocently and I felt that school girl crush creep up on me. What did I do to ever deserve him?
“You deserve me.” 
“How did you even—“
“I told you, you are my muse, love. I know you better than you know yourself. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and go cuddle. I expect two hours of back rubs as an apology for thinking I’d ever choose anyone but you.” 
And with that he stood and took my hand leading me back into the bathroom. A smile crept onto my face and I thought about how beautiful we looked together. I felt all of the worry melt off of me and something warmer, softer spread throughout my body. 
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Author Note
You may have seen this before! I posted it on my private account, but decided I should post it here too. No I’m not stealing anyone’s work haha, I’m the original author. Thanks! Hope you enjoyed it you dirty freaks. <3
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ninadove · 1 day
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Nina reads Dracula 🦇
September 20th
I opened today’s entry thinking I knew what to expect, but apparently I did not:
Report from Patrick Hennessey, M. D., M. R. C. S. L. K. Q. C. P. I., etc., etc., to John Seward, M. D.
A bit of humour in the darkest of nights. And what a power move! I love that even minor characters are given such vivid personalities!
With regard to patient, Renfield, there is more to say. He has had another outbreak, which might have had a dreadful ending, but which, as it fortunately happened, was unattended with any unhappy results.
This is what I mean! Look how this man writes. Completely redundant. He has a unique “voice” and I love it!
I went down to see if I could make out any cause for his anger, since he is usually such a well-behaved man, and except his violent fits nothing of the kind had ever occurred.
I’m starting to think every staff member has a death wish.
It was, I am sorry to say, however, only another instance of his cunning, for within half an hour I heard of him again. This time he had broken out through the window of his room, and was running down the avenue. I called to the attendants to follow me, and ran after him, for I feared he was intent on some mischief.
YA THINK?????
Also, what was I saying about safety protocols the other day?
The other fellow jumped down and struck him over the head with the butt-end of his heavy whip. It was a terrible blow; but he did not seem to mind it, but seized him also, and struggled with the three of us, pulling us to and fro as if we were kittens. You know I am no light weight, and the others were both burly men.
IT’S WORKING!!!!! The DYI vampirism is working!!! Mark me down as scared and strangely proud.
The two carriers were at first loud in their threats of actions for damages, and promised to rain all the penalties of the law on us. Their threats were, however, mingled with some sort of indirect apology for the defeat of the two of them by a feeble madman. They said that if it had not been for the way their strength had been spent in carrying and raising the heavy boxes to the cart they would have made short work of him. They gave as another reason for their defeat the extraordinary state of drouth to which they had been reduced by the dusty nature of their occupation and the reprehensible distance from the scene of their labours of any place of public entertainment. I quite understood their drift, and after a stiff glass of grog, or rather more of the same, and with each a sovereign in hand, they made light of the attack, and swore that they would encounter a worse madman any day for the pleasure of meeting so 'bloomin' good a bloke' as your correspondent. I took their names and addresses, in case they might be needed.
Efficient crisis management. Have a sticker 🦇
Now onto the regularly scheduled horrors…
Only resolution and habit can let me make an entry to-night. I am too miserable, too low-spirited, too sick of the world and all in it, including life itself, that I would not care if I heard this moment the flapping of the wings of the angel of death.
About that —
And he has been flapping those grim wings to some purpose of late—Lucy's mother and Arthur's father, and now.... Let me get on with my work.
Oh so it’s official! Arthur’s father has passed! What a month!
Van Helsing was very kind to him. "Come, my child," he said; "come with me. You are sick and weak, and have had much sorrow and much mental pain, as well as that tax on your strength that we know of. You must not be alone; for to be alone is to be full of fears and alarms. Come to the drawing-room, where there is a big fire, and there are two sofas. You shall lie on one, and I on the other, and our sympathy will be comfort to each other, even though we do not speak, and even if we sleep."
That is very sweet.
There was a full moonlight, and I could see that the noise was made by a great bat, which wheeled round—doubtless attracted by the light, although so dim—and every now and again struck the window with its wings.
Hold on hold on hold on. I think Jack might be on to something here.
So far, we’ve seen Dracula target Jonathan and Lucy specifically and relentlessly. Yes, he also attacked the crew of the Demeter, but that was out of necessity (being stuck in the middle of the ocean with no other source of food) rather than choice; and he doesn’t want to feed on Renfield, who is older and “feeble” both physically and mentally.
So he is attracted to the light, metaphorically: to young people who are full of life and love. Because that’s what he lacks. Argh.
It was certainly odd that whenever she got into that lethargic state, with the stertorous breathing, she put the flowers from her; but that when she waked she clutched them close.
🥺😔
"She is dying. It will not be long now. It will be much difference, mark me, whether she dies conscious or in her sleep. Wake that poor boy, and let him come and see the last; he trusts us, and we have promised him." […]
When we came into Lucy's room I could see that Van Helsing had, with his usual forethought, been putting matters straight and making everything look as pleasing as possible. He had even brushed Lucy's hair, so that it lay on the pillow in its usual sunny ripples. When we came into the room she opened her eyes, and seeing him, whispered softly:—
"Arthur! Oh, my love, I am so glad you have come!" He was stooping to kiss her, when Van Helsing motioned him back. "No," he whispered, "not yet! Hold her hand; it will comfort her more."
Say what you want about Van Helsing (SISTER), he’s showing incredible amounts of compassion in this chapter.
In a sort of sleep-waking, vague, unconscious way she opened her eyes, which were now dull and hard at once, and said in a soft, voluptuous voice, such as I had never heard from her lips:—
"Arthur! Oh, my love, I am so glad you have come! Kiss me!" Arthur bent eagerly over to kiss her; but at that instant Van Helsing, who, like me, had been startled by her voice, swooped upon him, and catching him by the neck with both hands, dragged him back with a fury of strength which I never thought he could have possessed, and actually hurled him almost across the room.
"Not for your life!" he said; "not for your living soul and hers!" And he stood between them like a lion at bay.
The next few entries are going to be fun.
Their eyes met instead of their lips; and so they parted.
Ouch.
"Ah, well, poor girl, there is peace for her at last. It is the end!"
He turned to me, and said with grave solemnity:—
"Not so; alas! not so. It is only the beginning!"
When I asked him what he meant, he only shook his head and answered:—
"We can do nothing as yet. Wait and see."
A heads up would be nice!!!
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chewbokachoi · 21 hours
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"You said you liked it so I brought it for you." bireenaaaaaa
Eyy looked who finally got to it--sorry for the delay! Ended up a lil longer than anticipated but I had fun regardless :D
Bi-Han felt out of his element.
He was standing, watching just out of sight, not sure if he should make himself known or just continue to observe. Most of him, the sensible part of him (or what remained of it) said he was being obtuse and a creep. But a small part of him, a small voice he ignored for years and thought left for dead, chimed in. What if she hates it? It whispered.
To let insecurity rule him after clawing his way back to life. Bi-Han shoved the voice back once more and slipped out of his hiding place. He snatched up the gift and decided to find Sareena rather than wait in the shadows, or worse, leave it unguarded.
He slipped the parcel into a satchel he had taken to wearing. The idea of being seen carrying around something so carefully wrapped yet so clumsy and unrefined would have been one too many humiliations to deal with. 
Watching Tomas wrap all of the gifts he had prepared for everyone had only done so much to help Bi-Han. He wasn't sure if Tomas appreciated the audience, or who the audience was, but he didn't say anything at least. It was a mix of comfort and further frustration for Bi-Han. While it was good Tomas didn't shun him, Bi-Han resented himself for not knowing how much Tomas truly tolerated him.
Of course it made sense somebody like Bi-Han didn't have as much skill as Tomas at gift wrapping; Tomas who had the time to pursue such a frivolous hobby. But it still gnawed at his pride that he couldn't make something for Sareena half as good. And to even consider asking Tomas to help wrap it for him? Absolutely not.
Bi-Han hoped Sareena would at least appreciate the colors. She always wore black and red. Finding red ribbons was easy enough–black wrapping paper, he found, was harder despite how popular goth fashion and other grim aesthetics had become. Of course part of him was eager to point out it was probably only difficult because he didn't dare ask anyone for help. And then the more delicate part of the gift…Bi-Han found his face warming at the thought of it. It was stupid. He could just leave it in his bag.
To his relief, Bi-Han found Sareena by herself. She was in Liu Kang's library and she had found a rather large, old book. Bi-Han wanted to know what it was, and he wanted to see if he could find out without having to ask. But the closer he got, he saw it wasn't in any language he knew. How much time had he lost out on? Clearly enough for her to have comfortably learned another language.
Despite how quiet Bi-Han was, she knew he was there. Covering his scent on a whim wasn't something he had figured out how to do. Still, he walked close enough to be polite but keep a respectful distance and waited for her to turn around.
Sareena set the book down and turned to face Bi-Han, her expression neutral despite her demonic features. They always made her look vaguely upset or annoyed. In a better mood, Bi-Han could see himself tolerating comments saying that he could relate. But when that mood would finally arrive, he couldn't say. So, instead, he kept his own neutral expression, waiting on Sareena to decide if she had the patience for him or not.
"You're done with training early," she said.
Bi-Han gave a small shrug. "I woke up earlier," he said. He had woken up early so he could get his training in and have time to wrap the gift and present it to her on time.
She tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes, the action always somehow ensnaring Bi-Han to her. "I thought you preferred reading one book at a time," she continued, uninterested in Bi-Han's reason for being done with training earlier than she expected. "And the book I last saw you with from here was sizable."
"You are correct," he said, not knowing what else to say. She was still paying attention to him and the thought alone made him want to disappear. He could still make an escape, but he'd have to at least give her her gift. Perhaps while she was distracted by unwrapping it–there was no way it would open neatly–he could disappear. "I came to find you," he said, reaching into the satchel.
Her irises widened like a curious cat's.
Bi-Han pulled out the first gift, his fingers brushing against the second half. For a second, he thought he broke it. But to his relief, it was fine. He pulled out the parcel and handed it to Sareena, barely able to keep his gaze on her.
"Who's this from? Did somebody ask you to deliver this to me?" Sareena asked, pausing her reach.
Bi-Han felt his face flush. "No," he said. And that was all he could manage.
Sareena's surprise gave way to realization. "Oh." She looked back down at the parcel and picked it up, her movements sharp and angular–more demonic than human. She back down on the stone bench, suddenly entranced by the little parcel. "Did you wrap this?" She asked, tugging at the ribbon, a hint of amusement in her voice.
"I may have," Bi-Han muttered, trying to keep his focus on how her hands moved, peeling at the tape and paper. But instead he was watching her face, seeing how happy and curious she was. It occurred to him that the odds of getting a gift from the Netherrealm were low, and they'd be tools more than anything–especially for a demon of her rank.
She pulled back the paper to reveal the gift: a metal, crocodile incense holder. Its mouth was open, meant for the stick to be inserted into the mouth. 
Bi-Han reached into the satchel before she could say anything and pulled out the incense packet. It was wrapped in blue paper with silver wrapping. He had noticed her preference for sour things, and so he hoped she would appreciate the variety of citrus incense sticks he had found. To his relief–and a boost to his pride–Bi-Han could see Sareena could smell what it was through the wrapping.
"Bi-Han," Sareena said, accepting it with her free hand. "Thank you." She looked up. "But…" she trailed off, not wanting to be rude.
Bi-Han couldn't find it in him to see the question as rude. Maybe a small part of it was because she was still a demon and her ways weren't ever going to fully align with the human world. But Bi-Han knew he couldn't judge anyone for any apprehension or hesitation around him. So, he gave her another shrug. "I heard you saying to Ashrah how much you liked it," he nodded to the holder. "So I bought it for you."
Sareena blinked, processing what he had said. Then she smiled. She carefully placed the still unopened bundle of incense sticks in the hand with the burner. Then she picked up the book. "Would you like to join me for some reading?" Sareena asked, moving to make space for Bi-Han.
His eyebrows rose in surprise. Then he looked around, quickly looking for any book to avoid making it awkward. As he walked over to a shelf full of Chinese books and tales, he could hear Sareena unwrapping the other gift. When he returned to the bench, he saw her inserting a stick into the holder. Then she lit it with a light tap of her finger. She turned around and looked up at Bi-Han, the smile still on her face.
He sat down near her, but not next to her.
Sareena crossed her legs, her knee brushing his thigh.
Bi-Han remained where he was–Sareena had done that on purpose, but he couldn't deny he liked the casualness of her proximity to him. The smell of citrus mixing with the enchanted torches that lit the library was providing an odd and unexpected comfort. Bi-Han felt his shoulders relax and found himself hoping this was something he could enjoy again.
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myjedimullet · 3 days
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House MD, Help Me, Bombshells, and addiction
I just finished watching House MD for the first time a few days ago. I'll add context by saying that I didn't know addiction would be a big part of the show, and a few years earlier I had a relative die from overdosing on heroin. Before then I had no idea they had had problems with addiction, but apparently they had been off it for a bit, but... yeah.
For the most part, it hadn't really bothered me in the show, but the season 6 finale, Help Me, was very sad, and seeing how desperate House was by the time he finally turned back to vicodin made me wonder how my relative must have felt. So, to see Cuddy basically save him and how happy they were, then to end up how it did in Bombshells... I can't really blame her for being upset about him using again, but it also seems to me that her breaking things off just pushed him right back into addiction (again, not exactly her fault).
Idk, it almost made me wish that he had just gone back to vicodin during Help Me, during that tragic scene, rather than just feeling like an arbitrary reason for Cuddy to call things off and winding up right back where he started, but almost worse in a way, for having been happy. Help Me was like an almost bang, and Bombshells was the whimper we got instead.
I was trying to see if this had been talked about anywhere else, as unfortunately deaths caused by addiction aren't all that uncommon, but wasn't finding anything, so I decided to vent on the internet like everyone else.
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sciderman · 5 months
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Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?
actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.
my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.
#sci speaks#i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me.#i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men.#i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring.#also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life.#this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed.#lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??”#“why are you together??????????”#i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror.#i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better.#the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified#but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships.#just an observation.#i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but.#of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does.#it makes a difference. it does.#which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body”#im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me.#i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have.#my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here.#sorry this went off on a tangent.#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues.#i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous.#i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got.#once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that!#couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.
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purpurussy · 1 month
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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0x4468c7a6a728 · 1 month
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i've gotta program something soon...
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oughh......
#laya plays dragon age#da2#oc: liam hawke#this happened a bit ago already & i wanted to draw sth for it but idk if i will finish that#but i gotta yell abt them anyway because OGH.#i have a lot of emotions about this quest ok#bartrand was the perfect scapegoat he was perfect to direct all the rage and pain at all these years#years of imagining gleeful revenge while bartrand is gloating and laughing like an evil soulless bastard#and then you meet him and he is just. a pathetic husk of a man with barely any own will left#and whats worse. varric is so so torn up about it#varric. the guy who never makes anything about him and who will always handwave and joke when something hits too close to home#drops all efforts to be smart and is just. desperate. begs hawke to not kill his brother#and liam wants to want bartrand dead so bad. he wishes he could look him in the eye and enjoy taking his life#and he knows varric will listen to him if he insisted. he knows when it comes down it it varric will yield to his decision#but he sees this broken guy who is barely the villain he kept projecting onto him and he sees varric and he sees two doomed siblings#and knows what its like to lose your sibling to your own blade#and he cant do it#and he hates it so much. but he wont do it.#and its the reason why i cant decide who dealt the killing blow for bethany bc it makes this scene juicy in different ways#if varric kills bethy its equally wanting to spare each other their siblings blood on their hands#as it is taking some form of revenge (on liams part). we both killed each others siblings. now we are even#the revenge part would still be there if liam did the blow on bethany himself. you made me do that and now i will take bartrand for it#but its also much more i know what its like. i wont make go through that too#if varric killed bethy and then also bartrand it would be more#''its my fault she is dead. i will take the revenge she/you deserves if you tell me to even though it will hurt me#dunno. all good variations i will. have to rotate them in my head more#or maybe just never decide idk they can be in canon limbo forever#anyways thats it for shouting into the void about them for now it Will happen again
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