#and that’s very funny to me /gen

[vcrnons]

the 95s & hoshi came through for me with these pulls wowowowow🤩

[mipexch]

since layer 7 dropped you can send literally any enemy to go kill something wicked repeatedly & v2 being the one to do that is just really funny to me

[decoyhounds]

jordan is definitely the type to wear one of those corny "i ❤️ my gf" tshirts around marie just to watch her roll her eyes and get flustered

[good-chimes]

Performance Evaluations

---start file---

From The Desk Of His Majesty’s Most Private Of Areas: A True And Accurate Evaluation Of Growth Opportunities For The Knights Of The Square Table, The Loyal Court of Ren the King, As Suggested By The HR Department

(Note to self: when did we acquire an HR department? Ask Bdubs.) {We have always had the Royal HR Department, your Majesty! It consists of your loyal servant Bdubs.}

Scar:

Title: h0tgUy! (Note: is this even a real rank?) {Your Royal Heraldry Department (Bdubs) has declared it a rank, your Majesty!}

Good Points:

Intense and disturbing masculine energy

Unhinged (on second thoughts, move this to Areas for Improvement)

Star power? Think I saw him in a movie once. Keeps being mentioned. {If your Royal Cinematography Department may come in with a point here, your Majesty, I think Scar made that movie up.}

Areas for Improvement:

Late

Unhinged (on third thoughts, move this back to Good Points)

Cub:

Title: Sir Cubalot (Note: cannot say this without Scar laughing, order investigation into reason)

Good Points:

Magic

Very magic

Shining purple eyes!

Magic awaits!

Areas for Improvement

{Your Majesty, we have yet to witness Sir Cubalot actually do any magic} – Note: Don’t be silly, Bdubs, magic takes time. Add to his file: brought cake.

Joe:

Title: Sir JoeHills of the Says (Note: work out what a ‘first name’ is, people have been commenting)

Good Points:

Strong supporter of our cutting-edge fiscal policy

A positive attitude towards responsibility

Folksy idioms show that I, Ren the King, have the Common Touch {A WONDERFUL common touch, your Majesty!}

Areas for Improvement:

Please teach him how doors work {Note: send to Training Department (Bdubs)}

Cleo:

Title: Lady Cleo (Note: this does seem to be a real title, congratulations to my impeccable heraldry talents)

Good Points:

Has assured me several times she is not working to depose me and I believe her

Intimidating aura

Intimidates the enemies of the Crown

Areas for Improvement:

Also slightly intimidates his Majesty the King

Refuses to wear very fashionable glasses

{Very hurtful about Bdubs’ Command and Conquer skills}

Bdubs:

Title: {Royal Secretary, Royal Treasurer, Royal Architect, Royal Laptop Owner, Royal Impulse Skull Manipulator, please see annex for other titles}

Outstanding loyalty is a shining example which no one else seems to be following

Positive mindset ditto

Is the only person around here who can work a computer, must get him to show me how {To be actioned by the IT Department (Bdubs)}

Areas for improvement:

Was at party {for excellent reasons I do not need to enquire about and I fully pardon him and am sorry I let Scar threaten him}

Playing computer games during official meetings {which I find to be a charming quirk that brings levity to official business, and for his great work I should give him a substantial raise}

This will now be proclaimed with speed and splendor to my knights of the square table. {Note: send to Communications Department(Bdubs)}. My knights: go forth with an accurate understanding of your opportunities for personal growth, and make your king proud.

---end file---

false@eagle.craft: why am I on this mailing list? Bdubs, do you know what a ‘cc’ field is?

impulse@soup.group: no, no, please continue

grian@stillnotresisting.craft: OH MY GOD YOU ARE ALL MAKING THIS SO HARD

[au-not-alternate]

bro is basically a neopronoun at this point. "what did bro do" "what was bro thinking" "bro thinks he's cool" neopronoun. all instances of bro in those sentences can be replaced by a pronoun and it makes exactly the same amount of sense. thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

[daddys-little-gaslighter]

I'm obsessed with this

[steakout-05]

i've only known Tin Man/Gomtuu for half an hour but if anything happened to it i would destroy everyone in this starship with a phaser and then myself

[deus-ex-mona]

flashtag ✨ignored✨

[nick-close]

Dndads patrons whats ur favourite mbic and why ???

[needylittlegirl]

sometimes ill be doing some normal everyday task and ill stop and realizing that im doing it pissed as hell cause i started thinking about yolanda saldivar

[alangdorf]

[spicypussywave]

is it because of tiktok or did i always have poor attention span, inability to focus w/o feeling overwhelmed and bad memory

[bionicboxes]

funny oc man who's design is going to be inconsistent for the next three decades

[ginalinettiofficial]

played the game ok boomer at my family party today, ended up explaining to a room of ~20 of my relatives what fanfiction is so they could understand the question, “in fanfiction, what does AU stand for?”. and then the card’s definition of “AU” was wrong so i also had to get into the concept of “canon”.

can u believe. in front of my whole family. a room full of people, aged 3 to 80. all staring at me intently as i explain the difference between an alternate universe and canon divergence. at one point my mom was like “daina i think we get it” and a cousin and two aunts were like “wait no we’re interested please continue” and i had to say to my own mother in front of god and my i am kenough sweatshirt “sorry but unlike you the rest of them DON’T have to listen to me talk about fanfiction on the regular”. my uncle is a retired judge. my one cousin worked for the federal government in a job that was so classified that for years he literally couldn’t legally tell us about ANYTHING he was working on. and today those men sat and patiently listened to me define “coffee shop AU”.

also, not one, not two, but THREE of the answers for the young folks, i knew solely because they were either plot points on stranger things or they were things i found out whilst reading stranger things fanfics. and then i was the only person in our age bracket (10 people, ranging from ages 9 to 42) that knew who anne rice was, and had to explain yet again that the reason i had this knowledge was because… fanfic.

it was surreal. also my aunt, aged 68, may or may not begin attempting to read fanfic now because, according to her, “there are so many stories where there are these small side characters and i’d just KILL to hear their backstory or like what was going through their minds during the main action!” i’m very happy for her. today was wild.

[goldensunset]

girl I had no idea how much gen 6 truly meant to me until I actually sat down to watch the trailer. literal tears in my eyes with gleeful giggling. like yeah it was my first game but i wasn't expecting to be so overcome by it all

girl i haven’t even played gen 6 and i am vibrating intensely. like i am SO HAPPY for you all i love seeing every existing kalos fan celebrate it’s just like aaaaaaaaaah love and joy festival on here

[itspileofgoodthings]

So sorry if this is bothering you but so curious as well... why do you hate Guts?

Thanks for your time ❤

you’re not bothering me!

I think the simplest way to answer this is with one of Olivia’s own lyrics from pretty isn’t pretty when she sings “none of it matters and none of it ends” because. That is kind of her whole ethos about how life works. She believes that! And so her work, to me, is profoundly cynical and self-absorbed because it can’t point to anything bigger (none of it matters) so it revolves purely around her own feelings. It won’t ever situate itself in a wider picture. And I love whining in a song tbh. I love when an artist captures those uglier emotions —the discontent, the restlessness, the irritation, the blandness and staleness of it all and the railing against it—because those are all part of the human experience. I am continually shocked—it is shoCKING—by how many negative emotions I can and do experience over and over again. But it is thankfully against the backdrop of reality. My bad moods are something that can be so unpleasant to feel and so ugly to witness—I wrestle with how ugly and small my suffering is—but there is a way in which, all discourse about the validity of any and all of my feelings accounted for, those aren’t real. Just symptoms of my suffering and sometimes my convalescence (lol, love a symptom of convalescence) but reality is still always so much realer. It’s always ready to break in a million times a day; the beauty and sturdiness of reality, the texture of existence, as Flannery O’Connor once said, is always there and with enough time (and with patience and help and love) I can get back to contact with it. Not just the state of my own mind full of bitterness and worry and pain, endlessly stewing in its own unhappiness.

I am not good at that, it takes a lot to get me there. But I guess my point is—to circle back—Olivia’s music doesn’t try and doesn’t want to. Its scope is so narrow, every song no matter how pleasing at first eventually sours (lololololol) because it’s JUST rooted in her own experience, generally her own suffering. And there’s no sharpness or cleverness in the world (she can be both sharp and clever!) that can hide that lack of range. So you hear a song once—for me, it was brutal—-and you’re like YEAH. I recognize this kind of whininess because I’ve felt it before. There is something true to it! But the more she writes the more you watch her do it over and over again (sonically, too, she loves to speak-talk and tbh they’re just sub-par remixes of brutal) the more you start to be like “oh, is that it? We’re not going anywhere with this? There’s no turn or catharsis or bridge or anything that lifts us out of this even for a second?” and it’s just —blegh.

And the thing is there doesn’t even have to be, like, some triumphant girlboss victory where she feels better. I’m not saying her songs are bad because they’re sad and depressing. It’s that they establish no outside contact with reality. They are, for all her clever little film-noir references or whatever, only ever self-referential. And that gets old so fast no matter who is talking.