#and thats going to be so much fun to write the fallout of

[shivasdarknight]

I got more wips here and it's just more dialogue exchanges that I really adore

There was a lot that she said that Estinien could’ve commented on — the easy sleight against her that was the list she’d so helpfully supplied, how readily she mocked and insulted her beloved captain, or the relevant history of the spear — but instead he looked at her for a few moments to settle on commentary she nearly hit him for: “If how you portray your captain is accurate, then it truly does explain why you were such an unruly pain in the ass when you first joined the Knights Dragoon.”  A pause.  “Granted, you may be more tolerable now, but I see how this captain of yours has shaped you.” “Like you’ve any right to speak!”  She had half a mind to go into all the ways he’d been a pain in the ass back then, but she caught the damndest thing on his face: the faintest of smiles, just barely visible.  It stopped her from making any further comments, surprised it was there to begin with. “I don’t,” he replied.  “But I’m still going to.” Maybe she’d test her luck with him again.  Surkukteni gave him a once-over, a scoff of a laugh prefacing her response.  “Despite all that’s happened, you still don’t know how to keep your opinion to yourself.” “If I did, then that’d be reason to believe I’d been replaced or possessed.”  A pause.  “But in all fairness — as much of a pain in the ass as you were back then—” “Please learn to come up with better lead ups to compliments.” The look on his face said that he wouldn’t so long as he lived; the quick “Pass,” only confirmed it.  “The stir you caused among the dragoons was funny, I’ll admit.”

[teecupangel]

No thoughts just Connor being de-aged and Haytham find that adorable

They were like fighting or smth (wow thats new) and Ratonhnhaké:ton gets turned into a child and Haytham experiences the joys of fatherhood and being affectionate to his son or something?

Sorry if this is weird I got a bit tipsy and thinking about these two makes me real sad

If you want one where Ratonhnhaké:ton remembers his past even as he deaged, A Little Problem by TheWyldeWynd might scratch your itch.

So, for this one, we’ll make Ratonhnhaké:ton not have any of his memories. He fully regressed, down to only having the memories of when he was at the age of his regression.

Here is where the fun part comes.

Depending on how old you want Ratonhnhaké:ton to be, this can go either way:

1. Regress him before the death of his mother and the burning of his village.

2. Regress him after the death of his mother, maybe even just a few weeks later.

For (1), this would be more wholesome and can be quite humorous. Ratonhnhaké:ton only read about Haytham from the journal his mother kept (cue Haytham going “Ziio writes about me?”) so he’s curious and he trusts Haytham when he tells him that he has to stay with him for a while because they were ‘searching’ for his mother. Of course, the fallout would be bitter if you let Ratonhnhaké:ton learn his mother’s death. There’s also the underlying angst in every move Haytham makes. He is given a chance to experience what he missed. He is given a chance to feel the full weight of what he had missed. But only a taste. Because, no matter what, he would need to return his son to his real form. Letting him stay as a child or ensuring he would grow up with Haytham this time around… it was a sort of cruelty that Haytham did not wish to partake in.

For (2), well… this is heavier on the angst and awkwardness. As much as Ratonhnhaké:ton would want to know his father, it wouldn’t take him long to realize that Charles Lee works for Haytham. Haytham wouldn’t make things better as he’ll try to act like he did when Ratonhnhaké:ton was his actual age because this child’s rage and grief was simply too similar to the emotions Ratonhnhaké:ton showed with his eyes alone. There will be father-son bonding but it would definitely be tainted by Haytham’s affiliation to the Templars. Even if he tells Ratonhnhaké:ton that Charles acted on Washington’s orders, Ratonhnhaké:ton is smart and perceptive enough to ask back…

“But you let him live even after learning Mother died, right?”

And that was the day Haytham knew…

Their relationship, no matter how old or young Ratonhnhaké:ton becomes, will always be too strained for them to truly be father and son.

[whenwillderekhalebehappy]

fallout new vegas thoughts

- im having a lot of fun and the game good

- i wish i couldve fixed boone and mannys friendship somehow

- im glad the animal friend perk exists bc i feel really bad killing animals, especially the little baby ones

- on that note, when you shoot a gecko in the head they grab at their little head and scream and it makes me so sad :( thats just a little lizard guy i dont wanna kill him :(

- i love raul hes the best and i love his lil pencil stache and his snarky comments

- lily is also much beloved, my big ass grandma

- mean sonofabitch, the super mutant in north vegas (? west vegas, freeside?) is also great i always say hello to him

- its so cool that theres male ghoul prostitutes at gomorrah

- i like that theres always/usually a way to resolve a conflict peacefully ! on my 2nd playthrough i sided with the ncr and when colonel moore orders you to 'deal with' the great khans i was worried that genocide would really be the only option but it wasnt ! you can just convince them to leave, very nice

- its so funny that the kings are all carbon copies of elvis presley but they dont realize who elvis presley is. peak writing imo

- also i just really like the kings, i think they do good stuff in freeside

- the Legion is a really compelling antagonist because even though they are easy to hate, you do get why they're so successful and what their appeal is

- i wish you could romance benny. like he sucks so bad and i want him.

- snuffles the mole rat <3

- the rats are also really cute

- i love the minor characters like no-bark, jerry the punk, beatrice and so on. they really add a lot of color to the world.

- i always get lost in vaults bc the local map is always completely unreadable so im always running around trying to find shit

- sometimes i find it a little disappointing when you cant go inside of a certain building, like the searchlight airport and some of the buildings around new vegas, like i wanna see whats in there

- benny + all the chairmen relentlessly calling me baby <3

[trickstarbrave]

Emil Pagliacci would do so much better as a first draft ideas guy who sends his half baked shit up the ladder to be assessed and revised, which makes it much more heartbreaking that he’s like. The lead creative director or whatever. Like what the fuck

i think its the peter principle at work heavily here. along with other generally bad management at bethesda

emil did fairly well on quests esp ideas. i think the dark brotherhood questline in oblivion was badly written. but many people enjoyed it a lot and had a lot of fun with it. so emil was promoted (along w already having buddies at bethesda) and kept climbing the ranks. then skyrim was a big hit and fallout 3 and 4 sold rly well, but cracks were forming in the foundation of his directing skills and writing abilities.

he said he doesn't like have a central design document because that means updating the document as they get new ideas or swap out old ones. so he just doesn't have it rather than assigning a middle manager who's job it is to communicate with various teams and update the design document. if people have questions then, he simply tells them to go ask todd howard. but todd is now the director of multiple studios under the bethesda umbrella and the teams are in the hundreds of members. it is not fucking feesable to just go ask todd like they could when they were working on fucking morrowind or something. how he doesn't understand this when he is in a senior fucking position is fucking baffling, but even worse is the fact no one has fucking stopped him. no one else at bethesda with any power to tell him to knock it off or he's getting demoted/fired is willing to do so. maybe its bc he's a yes-man kinda guy whos buddy buddy with all the other senior employees but genuinely thats no excuse. he's actively causing tremendous harm to the company with his directing and management. he should not be in a fucking directing position when he doesn't know basic skills for creative directing or management like "why is a central design document important especially for large projects where multiple people are working on it independently"

and also his writing is just bad. he isn't the worst at quest designs except for the fact he seems to hold contempt for his audience. at least with the dark brotherhood in oblivion he was trying, i can give him that. then with skyrim he just went "i would LIKE to implement cool features to make the gameplay and story more engaging but why bother? people will just mod it in anyways" and with fo4 said "why bother trying to write a super detailed, complex story? your players will just ignore it anyways--" because PLAYTESTERS were skipping dialogue.

he is obnoxious and needs to have as little creative control as possible at this point. he doesnt seem to like directing or writing. he doesn't seem to be very good at it either. he's insufferable and his ideas are boring. but tbh i think bethesda might just go under with microsoft closing them down long before emil is out of a senior position. microsoft will close down good studios i dont think they will let bethesda live unless tes6 literally blows everyone else out of the water (which i dont have faith it will) (and even then they still might microsoft is evil)

[pretentiousactress]

fallout 1 rant

god i hate trying to find content of other people also struggling with fallout 1 but all you can see in comments is just people shitting on the person struggling bc "lol skill issue you're supposed to find this thing in x y and z how do you not know" when A-there is a ONE HUNDRED PAGE MANUAL to the game that's just... a literal walkthrough in place of a proper in game tutorial. but this manual is stylized in it's writing, is a pain to realize exists (i only discovered it on accident bc i was in the game files trying to fix a bug), isn't scanned properly (several pages are the wrong orientation or just off), and long as hell. If you had the physical copy back in the day, it made sense, it was something to read and skim while on the ride home from the store and the game downloaded. B-the game is buggy as hell. Some quests or obvious dialogue are broken bc of bugs C-piss poor in-game direction for the player. you NEED to have read the manual to get the most out of the game, or even play. i feel like the game relies on that so much to do it's heavy lifting the game itself suffers for it, in a way.

I'm really struggling with quests bc the quest tracker is shit. Local area maps gives you no info other than like.... a vague floor plan. The game wants you to barter with some random NPCs that aren't merchants at times just bc they want you to encounter the function.... but barter is slapped onto everyone, even when they have nothing. Choose the wrong stats or anything in the beginning? you're shit out of luck make someone new. Exploring a dungeon is exhausting bc lootable objects blend into the background.

Some stuff i've only discovered by chance, either in game or someone mentioning it in passing, or watching a streamer play the game and see him interact with stuff. You literally cannot play this game without some sort of outside help LMAO. if you could, congrats!

i've finally found a proper walkthrough i think that will finally help me. It tells info straight forward. My first time playing i couldn't even leave the vault without dying bc of bad resources bc of my bad build. I personally HATE builds and crafting one, so since then i've just tried only following examples. I think i eventually got out before but then I also couldn't figure out how to enter a location bc NOTHING WOULD SAY just click the lil green triangle in the game when you enter the green bubble (and even later when i tried looking up help). I've gotten the farthest i've ever gotten recently, after finally figuring out how to enter locations but god my own brain suffers from its own pitfalls. Took me forever to figure out how to even enter vault 15. reading dialogue HURTS bc my eyes strain against the saturated green text on dark green for so long. thats not just a this game issue tho it's also a problem for me in modern fallout games if the text is too saturated i will not read terminals and i try to spend the least amount seeing it. Also not a fan of the fat jokes against one npc but it's a product of its time and just another me problem.

sucks hard bc i really want to like the game but with everything compounded makes it such a boring slog other than like... the few easter eggs and fun encounters i came across traveling between towns. I'll probably end up relying on watching Jabo's playthrough of it but im gonna give it one last go. properly adjusted setting from the start and properly following a walkthrough. not gonna patch the game with a fan patch just bc i dont care about it enough to put in the effort LMAO

hopefully i can eventually enjoy the game properly myself this way on my final attempt. I wanna like the game and have fun so bad but i might just have to accept it's not for me.

jesus im glad i never actually streamed playing this game bc i would have just felt so insecure with all my struggling and it doesn't help just how *mean* fans of old fallout are. Not all of them, but it's sad how it seems like the nice ones are the minority.

i just hate struggling in games if i'm the only one playing. I'm happy to struggle with others in a multiplayer. struggling on my own is what i already do irl im not dealing with that shit in a game that's helping me escape lmao

as shitty as bethesda games can be, they worked several miracles getting fallout into a format that's just far more accessible, easier to get started and understand, and still make sense. Bethesda know best how to make a genre of a game just... more casual and easier to digest. Not everyone's cup of tea, sure, esp depending on the genre (not a lot of people like starfield but i love it. a lot of people love most space games and i hate them LMAO). New Vegas, everyone's beloved, i don't think would have been loved by so many if it wasn't bethesda general easy to consume format with og fallout creators (tho maybe just fallout 2). best of both worlds.

if bethesda didn't snatch up the IP, fallout would have died in the 90s LMAO. but sadly, i just think a lot of people would have preferred that. it is what it is. people be wildin.

[nicegaai]

stuck on writing again. im gonna talk myself thru it in text post form

okay if i dont wrap this oneshot up before my brain completely burns out editing it i will lose my mind

naturally theres buildup to sex and then i really just do not want to write it. i can fade to black or otherwise gloss over it, sure. whatever. but then i have to write something AFTER IT and i also dont know what to do with that.

like i have a little bit im working on ...... as much as i dont want it to feel abrupt i just want it to be OVERRRR . i dont want to wrap up anything, i dont want to think about this. the dramatic spoiled artist in my brain is throwing a tantrum. It's Whatever. this isnt my magnum opus, its just me trying to exorcise myself of the ince/st kink demon again . it never works and i feel real weird about it. like am i propagandizing atp? im scared im passing this kink onto others accidentally. sorry im like this. nobody look at me. anyway

i dont want this to be Good as much as i want it to be Done <- lying

i could try to cut it off early . but oh my god if i ended it as soon as they start making out thats weird, i dont like that flow. if i cut it as soon as theyre in bed together thats ... tht only works if its a fade to black and then we come back afterwards right? wouldnt it be strange to have 5k words of buildup, then they kiss and it fades to black, and then thats it?

reading that, i might feel cheated. but my god i do not want to write another bj i dont want to write them actually doing it. i would NEVER get around to finishing that. like i said. i am so close to burnout i need to figure out how to end this quick. i wanna do it TONIGHTTTT.

and i think i do need to add more. i guess the morning after?

ughhhgh sghdhgshgshdskgks dgshkld gsd hsd js dsdkskfhsdkjfs dksjkhdf ksjhdfks jdhfksj dfksjdhfkjshdfkjshdf

ok ok .

because, i do want to play with the fallout a little. i have ideas. but i am also so so tired. of this i mean. (the fallout is ofc that they fuck again. which i also won't write.)

ok current game plan.

i go back into the document. i have an hr n a half. i write up a short aftersex interaction and end it whenever it feels right. do NOT make it long enough to let them leave the room. it is a SHORT conversation. then i go back and finalize the fadeout sex.

at this point i probably will have to leave (friday niteee bb) (i am a very slow writer) but when i get back i can go over the highlighted text ive marked to edit / research / etc... clean it up quickly. then do the ao3 format stuff i suppose !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! add tags summary etc.

....yeah ! yeah i guess.

writing fanfic is all about learning who u are as a writer i think. id like to move on to personal projects someday yk... first thing ive learned: do not let urself edit the same 15 pages on an eternal ocd loop: u will explode and die before u get to the actual end

anyway after this i promise to write all that cousin sex. somehow i have never lost interest in that au. having friends to talk ab ur au with always makes them more fun

[rakimaiirisa]

I love and hate how my brain latches on to just 2 damn video games. Fallout 4 and skyrim. I can't get into skyrim right now because I'm waiting and even then, the times I've tried to play it just to take screens, i just cant. The torches in game are missing textures and it bothers me so much, that I shut off the game once I see them. Another problem I'm going to have to chase down whenever I decide to get back into it.

Besides Danse and Jake are occupying my mind atm. Especially Danse. Hence the stream of steady pics I'm posting to the annoyance of everyone 😅 I'm trying not to flood his tags with constant pics but anything that involves him and Jake is definitely going to be tagged. I love the hell out my ships and Idgaf if people get annoyed by so many pics of them. Besides I'm having fun figuring out SAM. In also going to work on Jake's lore and info posts so I can eventually write stuff for him and Danse. Im not much of a writer and man, its hard to focus, but thats the plan for this blog. Anyway just rambling here,

[kitsunesx]

== BASICS

NAME : Kit.

PRONOUNS: They/Them

ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn

TAKEN OR SINGLE: Single

Sexuality: Pansexual.

== THREE FACTS

I am filled with so much useless information it should probably be a little concerning.

I have a cat named Luna, named after the Sailor Moon character.

I have played over 300 hours in Fallout 4 and I still haven’t finished it.

== EXPERIENCE

PLATFORMS USED : Tumblr and discord. I’ve had a history of A LOT of different sites. 

PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES : Memes are honestly the best way to go about things. I can wing it from there but I have a hard time starting from nothing.

== MUSE PREFERENCE

GENDER : I don’t really have one..

MULTI OR SINGLE : Multi, lmao you joking.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S) : Whitewashed xo tbf i don't think i've really ever had any FC issues, so I dont dwell on it too much

== FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT

FLUFF: It's fun sometimes - I've found that I usually, eventually and accidentally, almost always end up turning fluff to angst so uh,,,

ANGST: MY FAVORITE. MY!!! FAVORITE!!!

SMUT: Fun fact! Up until this blog, I only ever wrote smut with one of my besties...and that being said, I am still extremely picky about who I write it with. I'm hyper aware I'm not the best at it but considering all of my knowledge on the stuff came from books and film, I guess thats not surprising lmao

tagged by: @misfittcd

tagging: @notfrsale, @temporalobjects, @ovilis, 

[chaotic-on-main]

ok i didnt know the best way to do this so here you go lol. ty for even doing this ;-; i probably gave more than you needed aha.

personal color scheme:

i'm a hoe for purple pastel colors uwu

specific aesthetic:

guess a minimalist pastel soft aesthetic? ngl i had to look up different types of aesthetics lmaoooo im so out of touch with reality

general outlook on life:

tbh i'm pretty nihilistic and am a heavy believer of the heat death of the universe, but that's why we should appreciate what little time we do have :)

favorite shows/animes/books/manga:

aot (obvs), bungo stray dogs, code geass, witcher, i like video games too (world of warcraft, fallout 4, skyrim)

your favorite characters from said things above (and if you're able to, explain what draws them to you):

aot: levi (because i thirst but also because he's such a complex character that's gone through so much shit yet still turns out the way he is and i love him sm i a;ldk fj;laksjfd)

bungo stray dogs: dazai (similar reasons to levi although he's much more morally gray), chuuya (because he's pretty <3 also similar to levi and is badass)

code geass: lelouch (bc jun fukuyama is a god in the va world)

witcher: geralt (because I thirst, plus i love reluctant dad figures)

general likes:

levi, coffee, gaming, writing, cats, being stoned

general dislikes:

zeke jaeger (baka vibes), superficial shit, most people, politics, macho man vibes, most republicans (lol)

hobbies:

writing, gif making, playing piano, gaming

astrological sign and or MBTI:

i've taken the MBTI a million times, with the most recent rendition as ISTJ-T, i'm also a gemini :)

the season, time of day, type of land or body of water, and weather you associate yourself with:

fall, sunset, oceans, idk for weather type lol

niche interests:

space, psychoanalyzing traumatized characters :], was into greek mythology for a bit

things specific to you and your life that you want represented visually:

gaming-related stuff, coffee, i try to channel mental health positivity vibes but idk how that would be represented lmaoo

5 words or phrases that you feel explains who you are as a person:

chaotic (adhd-vibes), somehow able to read people's energy's/moods to an annoying amount, the type thats shy as fuck until i get to know you, always thirsting, partner also just said im stubborn as fuck lol

ALSO I like to do this thing where I add in something incredibly specific to you, like the most specific thing you can think about:

uhhhhh i guess add in something semi-colon related? tmi but mental health recovery is a huge part of my life so i have like 3-4 tattoos that are semi-colon themed (maybe you can help me generate another tattoo idea lmao)

If I feel like I need a little more, please be okay with me DMing you! I want to make sure everything is perfect:

you can also dm me anyway, i'm trying to make friends and its hard

I GOTCHU.

I had so much fun making this one laksjdf the colors are so damn pretty!! I hope you like it! Normally they're a little more layered and messy but I went for a more simple, minimalist look. Also the background was too pretty, it had to show.

@humanitys-strongest-bamf

☆ As always, if y'all are curious in what I’m doing with my spare time, you can go here! My game is open!! ☆

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Midnight Gaming: Take me home, country roads...

So last night I played Fallout 76 past midnight, checked socials... ok you know what we should talk about that a bit.

So the way in which I write these is thag around 8pm, I play a game with the aim to play it past midnight, when thats done I shut everything off, get into bed and use my phone to make notes and check socials for the news. After that I go to sleep and then tomorrow I check my notes and write the post for the day.

Its all to recreate a funny set of circumstances that created one of strangest coincidences i've ever seen. I played crime boss rockay city past midnight, trump got shot. I played fallout 76 past midnight, biden got covid. I played divinity original sin past midnight and biden stepped down with kamala harris now running. I recently played deathspank past midnight and now the us stock market crashed. All of this just to see what'll happen next and to give me something creative to build up for myself.

Thing is, im usually up at 2 or 3 am before I decide to say screw it and go to bed with nothing much to report for tomorrow. Atleast, nothing to report that isnt politics related, id rather Midnight Gaming not be too politically focused. So I ask you, anyone who is reading, would you rather I stick to this or would it be alright If leave checking the news to tomorrow instead of after midnight. Atleast that way I can have more of a selection on what to report for the news segment on these posts. Let me know in the comments whatd you perfer.

So Fallout 76, is it good? Ehhhh... is it playable? Yes. The game atm is playable and you may in fact get some enjoyment out of it. I just wouldnt call it good per se. Once you get outta the vault, the land of west virgina is available to you and to bethesda's credit, appalachia is one the better fallout locales to explore, the various zones from the verdant forest, the savage divide and the cranberry bog to name a few are distinct enough with their own look.

As you explore the world, your main focus is to level up so you can get perk cards and special stats to create a build. And there are a wide variety of weapons to utilise along with ways to build your character. You can go melee, go with sniper rifles or automatics. Go with explosives or use energy weapons. There is a variety to choose from and once you do, you'll want to equip the right perks to utilise them. It does start off running, but when you reach endgame, it does feel like you run outta steam.

The biggest dealbreaker for me when it comes to games is when im left with nothing to do or if what im doing feels too tedious to be worth it. I played warframe before, multiple times infact, on pc, on xbox and on switch. When I tried to get into warframe again, I linked all of my accounts into one and logged in only to hit a brick wall. I have all of my stuff, my warframes, my weapons, my mods. I have locales open and quests in my log. Im just sitting there on my orbiter asking myself "what do I do now?". I had no plan on what i wanted to do, on what i wanted to work on or even what I feel would be fun to do. Im just pacing up and down my ship feeling awkward and lost. Eventually I decided to just forget it and leave, uninstalled and did something else. I felt too awkward to do anything and as a result, it killed any momentum I had going into warframe, causing me to bounce right off.

I left warframe because I couldnt find something I wanted to do, feeling like I had forgotten how to swim and being dunked into the deep end, frantically trying to recall that knowledge. I would've perferred some way of easing myself back in so I dont feel too overwhelmed with everything. With fallout 76 i'm facing the other issue, I have all the gear, perks and weapons that I want that theres nothing left worthwhile to do. I've grinded for a union power armor set, i'm carrying 3 star heavy weapons that shred through most enemies, I have my build set up to allow me to do a lot of damage and resist a lot back. All i'm doing is bouncing between daily quests, daily ops and random events while gaining more levels to save up coins to level up legendary perks while rerolling my gear for more optimal loadouts.

I've done most of what I wanted to do that there isn't much else left to interest me, aside from maybe doing questlines for the stories but otherwise, I think im spent for the time being, no recent or upcoming update has been compelling enough for me to stay.

Fallout 76 is playable yes, the work has been done to improve on the intial launch, one that was buggy and unpalatable for many outside of those who wanted to just point and laugh, but if there was one thing about fallout 76 that was compelling, it was the original story involving you, the resident of vault 76 and the scorched threat.

You're a part of privileged few who got to avoid the horrors of the great war, living in the vault while training and being groomed for the ultimate task: reclamation. To venture back out into the ruined world and rebuild america. Shortly after the bombs fall, reclamation day arrives and you head out to find.. appalachia is fine, seemingly so. West Virginia isn't really a high priority target so its mostly untouched by nuclear devastation. You go into the nearest town to find plenty of evidence that people outside the vault have survived the end of the world and have already started on rebuilding their lives.... and yet no sign of life.. atleast... any that are living.

And then you find out why. A terrible plague that causes the affected to attack, infect and corrupt others, heralded by the winged scorchbeast that champions the sky, spreading its foul influence to assert its dominion on the land below. In your search to find a way to fight this threat, you uncover the ways in which many of the old factions fell, their distrust and unwillingness to cooperate with each other being their downfall, divided they were and conquered they became. Eventually you're led to the hidden nuclear silos, now having to use the very thing that destroyed the world you once knew, in order to save whats left of it.

Throughout appalachia you come across holotapes of your old overseer at various locales, detailing her journey across the new world. One of them seems to take place after the main story of 76, with her expressing complete and utter horror of the vault dwellers, of you, continuing to use the nuclear silos to wage small scale nuclear warfare on each other. She was given the secret task of securing the silos by herself, a near impossible task that forces her to ask her own people via holotape to help.

She wonders if that was in fact part of the plan, to get the reclaimers involved and aware of the silos. She mentions in one log of how she found out about the vaults being experiments but was convinced AND reassured that the experiments were necessary and that 76 would be a normal vault. Was that a half-truth, was it all just one big experiment to satiate some short-sighted curiosity. Were those selected for 76 chosen for being the best or for just being the most skilled and the most competitive. If you took your time and checked the computers in the vault, you can find they had to arrange small contests and awards to occupy the dwellers, one dweller even ended up losing a tooth in an act of spite from a sore loser. Was that foreshadowing of what would happen when the reclaimers gain access to nuclear arms? As she loses her faith in the company she served, she begs you the player to stop using the silos, to stop this madness, to stop bringing further destruction to appalachia.

The fallout series was a look into the cautionary tale of idolising and obsessing over the past. To be stuck recreating the glory days instead of moving forward. The 50's aesthetic that makes up the ruins of the post war america wasn't chosen for looks, but to serve the underlying message, that the jingoism and nationalist red scare was the enabling force of societys worst, most destructive flaws, culminating in total obliteration via atomic fire. That meaning does get lost as the ip becomes gentrified under bethesda. The dread of the cold war now just a bit for the brand, the blast of the atomic bomb not illiciting fear but joy as it could mean a unique boss is spawned to fight or unique crafting materials to collect. What was considered a morbid look into the damnation of humanity's foolhardiness, now just part of the marketing spiel with the phrase "war, war never changes".

But the original story of Fallout 76, before wastelanders brought the npcs back, it atleast had some promise. Of being alone in a post war appalachia with no other humans, with only the mutants, the self sustaining robots, the shadows burnt into the walls and the dying words of survivors as your only company. Of the lone holotape in a secluded shack, carrying the words of your overseer, pleading and begging you, the family she knew and survived armageddeon with.

To stop loving the bomb, and start worrying.

See you all tomorrow. Be sure to let me know what you want done regarding how I handle news. Feedback is appreciated, anons are currently on.

[neondeaddrops]

090423.1

Alrighty today I've been playing Starfield; its pretty good. But it really is hard to call it anything but Fallout in Space. And all the ship flying stuff is entirely skippable. Not only that but it serves 0 purpose in game, you can't fly between planets in the same star system or even obects orbiting the planets you are orbitting. That was a little disappointing. I've been seeing people give it an 8/10 and I have to agree. Stayed up last night playing Genshin, I'm always amazed at how much fun that game can be. Switched from Starfield after a bug prevented quest progress and now I'm doing Rival Wings for FFXIV's 10th Anniversary. I didn't think it would be as fun as it is but I like it. I wish I could talk about sonething other than Video Games, but I guess thats another thing that slowly left me due to my surroundings. I haven't had anyone to talk about anything else with for so long. I want to see the Blue Beetle mivie, it looks good and its star hasn't been going around attacking people. I'm planning on giung camping next weekend. That should be fun. The weather today was perfect for it so lets hope that stays true. Work should be easy tomorrow so thats cool. Maybe I'll read my Star Trek book all day. I'm worried about how my account will shake out once all my bills come out at banks open tomorrow. I can't even figure out where it all went!? How am I still barely breaking even after my raise!? Gas can't be that much more expensive. I guess maybe I'm still getting caught up from the summer. Once the amounts lower on my credit cards the minimum payments will go down allowing me to apply more money to specific cards instead of keeping them all maxed out. Its startling for how many people $10,000 would life altering. This system was SO not built for thw world today. Hmmm I guess this one turned into me just complaining too. Oh well I like this stream of consciousness writing and I always have. Maybe I shouldn't tag these and let them live in isolation. On the one hand maybe someone will see them who can help and/or wants to be my friend, on the other it may be annoying or I guess even triggering for some people.... I guess I'd better not. I'll remove the tags from the first one.

[datura-tea]

wat is a kinkmeme?

hmmm how do i explain kinkmemes. it was a phenomenon over at livejournal, though i think some have moved over to dreamwidth?

basically how it goes is that the kinkmeme journal makes a post with the rules etc and people (usually anonymously) comment a pairing and a prompt/kink. can be anything. then people (anonymously too tho you can divulge your identity if u want) can "fill" it with fic or art in the comment's thread! fills can be as long or as short as you want :) some people even have their own series on the kinkmeme (the mean old lady series, for example, which i followed religiously as it was Thee ulysses/courier fic series hehe) also, there can be multiple fills for one prompt! you could just let your imagination go wild - i used to spend days just reading and writing shit on the kinkmeme man it was good times

the number one rule was to participate as much as possible - don't just post prompt after prompt; write fills, write comments, make art, etc! bc otherwise the kinkmeme will die. thats what happened to the fallout kinkmeme if i recall correctly. i remember some people spammed the meme with weird prompts, and there was some ensuing wank and fuckery that i really wasnt fully there for so im not 100% sure on the details lol. it was fun while it lasted tho. a backup of the fallout kinkmeme is still up as far as i know, and there are some really good fills there if youre willing to dive in!

[whenwillderekhalebehappy]

so i just started playing fallout 4 ,,, here are my preliminary opinions

- lame storyline, i don't want to be married heterosexual. idc abt this fuckass baby either.

- fr tho, it feels like the devs just chose the most generic backstory they could think of so they could get that part out of the way. it's not interesting or good. moreover, if that actually happened to a person, they'd be traumatized and terrified, not running around looking for guns and stimpaks. like, it feels like my character doesn't even give that much of a shit that this happened. like ooh the world ended, my wife was murdered, my infant child was kidnapped, it is 200 years in the future, but yeah no i don't have any questions, ill just roll with it. LAZY WRITING!

- also: how does the survivor know that his baby is still alive. the story has him frozen, unfrozen to witness murder and kidnapping, frozen again and then unfrozen to start the game. how am i supposed to know when that kidnapping happened? like yeah it could've been recent but it could also have been 100 years ago.

- upon exiting the vault you immediately start like 11 quests. why?? for what reason?? i just got here??

- do not love that feral ghouls will just lay on the ground waiting for you to get close enough so they can attack you. 1. its annoying, you get ambushed every time. 2. why would they be doing that, are they sleeping? waiting? doesnt make sense for them to be doing either of those things. they're feral, they wander around attacking whatever comes near them, they don't lie down and wait for prey, thats just ,,, not how they work?

- i especially dont like that the ghouls also dont show up as hostile on the little navigation bar until they get up. the whole point of that is so i know if there's hostiles in the area. if all the hostiles just sneak up on you, there's no reason to look at it.

- the fact that you can just max out your SPECIAL stats kinda defeats the purpose of those stats. the point is that it allows you to pick strengths and weaknesses for your character, instead of it being skills you can learn. it adds difficulty and personalization.

- i genuinely don't like the "improved" graphics. maybe its because my pc is shitty and i have to run low quality, but i cant see shit. especially all the harsh shadows make it really hard to gauge depth and to see things on the ground (like feral ghouls waiting to attack you).

- why is VATS under Q. thats dumb

- follow up: why are we now using the enter key and arrow keys in addition to wasd. let me keep my hand on the mouse instead of constantly having to switch (update: after 10 hours in-game i found out you can also press E, still stupid)

- why cant i just go up to people and ask them shit. why do i have to wait until they want to talk to me.

- i do like the whole settlement building thing. ive been having more fun with that than anything else tbh

- it is nice that you can make radaway and you dont have to rely on scavenging or bartering for it

- they are harsh on the raiders. like i get that they're enemies but labelling them 'raider scum' is a bit much. like thats still a person.

- in the intro thing they say war never changes at least 3 times. i get it. dont overdo it.

- also in the intro, they just say the US ended ww2 by dropping the bombs on hiroshima and nagasaki which is a VERY BOLD statement about history.

- i've barely encountered anyone who's nice. ive met preston and his friends but beyond that its basically been nothing but raiders. where are the friendly npc's? it makes the whole world feel hostile and empty

- the variety of weapons and mods is ,, actually a little too much. i don't know the difference between a pistol and a revolver, let alone what a receiver is. the game kind of expects you to just , understand what all these things mean and how to best modify your weapons. I don't. i barely know what i'm supposed to be looking at. "um yeah i definitely prefer the hardened enhanced glowsighted tempered auto pipe revolver pistol over the hardboiled standardized incendiary double barreled shotgun rifle" <- statement dreamed up by the utterly deranged

- recently encountered super mutants, why do they yell at you that they are super mutants. i know that. i mean, the character technically doesn't since no one's bothered to explain all the new creatures to him, but still.

anywho, ive only been playing for a week or so, so there might be more redeeming qualities later on. but so far im not very impressed

[freunwol]

@pukuchu submitted: i would LOVE to read anything written w eun and freud tbh👀👀 maybe like. something that explores their modes of affection/love languages for the other!!(whatever you headcanon those to be ofc)

___

YELLS hello i read this and went "love languages huh. time for freud's unprofessional hairdresser carreer"

(i just think that theyd express a lot through hair related affection ok. also theyre not AS close here as they could be but thats just for this one...i may just do a sequel lolol)

but yeah this was fun to write!!! thank u for the prompt and getting me to actually write something for my beautiful dudes

___

“May I ask how you managed this?”

“No.” Eun huffed through the charred gap in his hair, sending it fluttering into a mess across his face. Freud sighed and smoothed it back down as best he could. Which wasn’t very well, considering the absolute state it was in.

“Well, I can… I can probably have it swoosh to the side, but then you’d have to part it one way for a while, and that might-”

He waved his hand dismissively. “Just make it bangs. It’ll be easier to deal with.”

Freud pursed his lips and flipped Eun’s hair. “You sure? It’s quite a lot.”

He just grunted in response, and Freud shrugged back. Not a few seconds later, large strands of ruined hair were falling away from his face, gradually making Freud’s clearer. A few more seconds, and Freud was smiling at him gently, still holding an uncut strand away from his eyes. “Hey.”

“Hey,” and he couldn’t help smiling back. And it was just a small joke, and just a simple smile, but the way his gaze made his heart flip and stomach turn to butterflies… well, an unavoidable element of getting a free haircut from the nicest person he knew, he supposed. Eun just let him do his work, and tried not to jump too hard whenever Freud mindlessly touched his face trying to get him to turn his head a little for a better angle. Which, since the bangs were apparently taking a while to perfect, was happening a lot.

“Sorry you have to stare at my chin for the next minute, I just wanna be thorough.”

He made a point of staring anywhere that wasn’t Freud. “There’s nothing to stare at. You shave down to the bone every morning, I swear.”

“Do you want me to grow a beard?”

“I don’t care. Won’t you mess up if you keep talking?”

Freud blew a puff of air in his face, sending his new bangs everywhere and prompting a gentle slap to the arm. When will the violence ever end, he could practically hear Aran crying out.

Only the quiet snip snip of the scissors punctuated the silence following, save the occasional slightly frustrated breath from Freud. He didn’t care too much how his hair looked if it wasn’t in his eyes, but it would bother Freud, so he just let him fiddle with it until it was passable.

“And… there.” Freud stepped back to admire his handiwork, a complex smile plastered over his face. “It looks alright, I think? Or… no, yeah, it’s… well, it’s a little short...”

Eun glanced in the mirror- short his ass, they were nearly covering his eyebrows. “It’ll grow out,” he still added, to placate Freud more than anything.

Freud sighed lightly. “Yeah… I’ll just keep going. I can’t really mess up the rest of your hair, I guess.”

“You definitely can.”

“I definitely can. But I won’t!”

“You don’t know that.”

“Do you want me to cut your hair or not?” Freud tutted at him, and Eun had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing in his face. “Sheesh, I go the full nine yards for free and this is how I’m treated… shameful.”

“If you wanted money out of it, you should’ve become a Hair Master.

Freud sighed as he ran a comb through Eun’s hair, hair that he’d already combed through diligently. “Maybe I should’ve. Maybe this is my true calling.”

Eun turned a bit to look at him. “We’re all gonna need a hobby after all of this.”

“I imagine I’d have different priorities in the fallout. And don’t turn your head.” He pushed Eun’s head forward to punctuate his point.

“People are still gonna need haircuts, though.”

“It’s just a hobby. And I won’t want to do it if I make that association.”

“Hm.”

The silence returned. Eun closed his eyes and tried to focus on what Freud was doing. Not too hard, for his own sake- he still wasn’t used to human touch, and the first time Freud cut his hair, he almost cried- but he focused well enough. The gentle snipping of the scissors and the occasional comb through his hair was nearly enough to lull him to sleep. So after what felt like an hour of the same, when Freud ruffled his hair, he startled with a very dignified “Meuh.”

“Good morning,” Freud laughed out, and he would never admit how that made his stomach flutter, so he settled for his blankest expression. “Is that an alright length?”

“Yeah,” he said before he even looked in the mirror. Just over his shoulder blades… Kind of short for his liking, but it would grow out too.

Freud’s hand retreated, and something in Eun’s chest clenched.

“Could you braid it?”

They both blinked- Eun had no idea where that came from, either. Freud picked his hair back up, a little hesitant. “Would that work with bangs?”

“I just wanna see how it looks.” He paused, before muttering, “You’re probably right, though…”

“If you wanted me to play with your hair, you should just say that,” Freud huffed out lightly.

Light as it was, it still made Eun freeze in place, though he managed to mumble out something like “Uh, yeah, sorry.”

A moment passed in silence, a moment long enough to notice Freud’s expression in the mirror had turned to light shock, before settling into a fonder smile.

Oh, Eun processed too late, he was joking. Oh god.

Before he could open his mouth to pivot, Freud was gathering more of his hair in his hands, fingers brushing against his scalp. “It’s not like I mind. Your hair is very nice. Not to compliment my own work.”

And lord, if Eun could just die right where he was. He didn’t want to, because then Freud wouldn’t be braiding his hair, but, well, come on.

[larkingame]

larkin q&a part iii

as one of the winners of my milestone giveaway, @sadlucero got to ask me six questions pertaining to larkin. As all of my answers are a little long 😔😔😔 I figured it would be best to split this up! Without further ado, here's question three!

"what ideas/characters inspired the creation of each member of the cast of larkin? (including wyatt)"

I took inspiration from a lot of different places when creating each of Larkin's characters, whether that be my real-life, media I've consumed or ideas that I want to explore. Also fyi, this is really just me telling on myself over what a huge nerd I am 🤡🤡🤡

Wyatt came a lot from the idea that I really enjoy the dynamic between the super-heroes and their side-kicks. The sort of complicated familial relationship that exists between the two. I grew up loving captain america and bucky 🤡😔 and batman and robin (jason is my favorite 😔) and I really wanted to explore those sorts of dynamics in a more isolated manner. I'm also an absolute sucker for the unlikely-father-figure trope (as you can probably tell.) The comics inspiration doesn't exactly end there with Wyatt--a fun little tidbit, Wyatt is so short because I always imagined him to have a similar body-type to comics! Wolverine--short and stocky with lots of bulk. Other than that though, (and this is going to make my own father-figures sound terrible given some of Wyatt's actions--I promise, they're not.) but a lot of Wyatt comes from my relationships with my own Dad and my maternal grandfather. My father and I are really similar so we do tend to butt heads from time to time so a lot of the more argumentative dynamics come from those experiences. Though the more jokey light-hearted aspects of Wyatt come from my Papa. The sort of bad sort of good jokes come a lot from him, and I think if my grandfather and Wyatt were to meet they'd get along.

Cyrus was the first Larkin character that came to be! He's just been the character that I've kept with me along the road as I've developed Larkin. He doesn't really have a specific character that he was inspired by (and while this is true for all of my characters!) he's just a character that I know I'd want to romance if I were playing Larkin.

Rose sort of came a lot from characters like Carla Boone from Fallout: New Vegas. The dead wife that motivates her grief stricken husband on his path for vengeance. I really wanted to explore the other end of that dichotomy--focusing on the wife in the dead wife trope. What were her motivations, what she'd do were the tables reversed, how she'd move forward--how she'd handle the consequences of her husband's actions all the while he was absent to deal with them.

Writing Hollis is probably my guiltiest (writing) pleasure because they exist as the character that I project the most of myself onto, but also because Hollis is one of the character's that I'd most likely romance first if I were playing Larkin. I love characters that have a somewhat prickly personality that slowly wears down as you get to know them and you gain their trust, that's just 👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌 I just love slow-burn in general and that carries through as you build a relationship with Hollis whether that be romantic or platonic.

Like most of my characters, a lot of Celina comes from my music taste. Like appearance wise, Celina is really based upon Florence Welch! (Florence + the Machine's music has honestly shaped so much of my creative process) Without giving away to too much, here are just some songs that are just. so, so, Celina to me. [X] [X] [X] [Celina's Playlist] Scorpion to me is just. It's about Celina, okay? I can't listen to it and not think of her. Neighbors I think portrays a lot of Celina's anxieties really well, and White Rabbit--it just fits her vibes so well.

Dominic doesn't really have any characters he was inspired from but he is another music character. A lot of him came from Des Rocs' music. Some songs that are especially Dominic to me? Here: [X] [X] [X] [Dominic's Playlist] While the other two are mostly just ~~vibes~~ Used to the Darkness is just very Dominic to me and relative to his inner-life and thought process.

Nash comes a lot from my love of characters that have just an honest desire to do good. The Steve Rogers 🤡 and the Clark Kents 🤡 of the world. That sense of compassion and care for others is just so compelling to me and I really wanted to explore that with a character of my own! Also. You know, cowboy.

Ace (and Hollis) both serve as characters that were representative of the hunting world outside of Wyatt and the MC's direct sphere. Ace really came from the idea that I wanted to explore what the life of a typical 'hunter' looked like outside of the Abrams', their day-to-day, their familial relationships, who they were and what brought them to live the type of life they live. Also. I love them

[poppiesforthirteen]

reading your reply to my comment and i dont wanna clog up your comments on ao3 so:

[she's powerless in interpersonal things but she IS opinionated and her fight with yaz is. she's Passive Aggressive and Dramatic and she loves the doctor SO MUCH that she'll side with her forever] - !!!!!! this is sooo true this is so good your tardis takes are the BEST

[they're all trapped and i'm trapped with them as their scribe] - and this is such a big mood i feel like this All The Time. i have so many feelings too about like the medium and how theyre characters but the doctor seems to have one foot in our world? like theyre also a character in THEIR universe and theyre also almost a real person in ours. and dw the show exists in their universe and the show is CALLED doctor who and thats their name and they only have that role that they play they dont have a self beyond that i have so many feelings about it

ive got this little half-fic thats not really a fic not intended for publishing where i just like, engage with 13 as a writer of her character. she Fucking Hates Me sdhfkjghjkgh shes like why the fuck are you making me suffer and im like sorry bestie i dont mean to but i kinda need to to make interesting stories. or like she says something mean and then falls off the couch and shes like 'that was low' and im like wasnt me im just describing whats happening im not deciding whats happening bc AM I??? it's hard to tell sometimes. narratives have a momentum and a shape of their own so while you can definitely like, choose not to do where it seems to want to go, that will usually also dissolve the story bc it doesnt respect the structure of it. you know what i mean? i just love stories theyre fascinating. and it's a really fun self-indulgent exercise to talk to your blorbo as their writer one-on-one :P

oh i absolutely don't mind clogging my ao3 comments but it's up to you!!

aaah thank you i'm just. i'm SO obsessed with the tardis she's my wife my best friend my blorbo my thought experiment and carrier of metaphors

ohh that's SUCH a mood i feel like i'm witnessing the doctor more than i'm writing her and i am yaz more than i'm writing her but the more yaz became the doctor the more those roles were swapped

this fic really is. i'm so proud of it and i'm so grateful for everyone suffering through it with me

i only rarely decide what happens, like i decided the angel would be there because if nothing happens they'll get stuck in it, but the rest? my characters have free will and i'm putting them in Situations and they deal with the fallout of how they decided in them