#and thats ok im at a way healthier weight & i like how i look

[cadaverousconsumer]

helloooo here are my beta kid headcanons! @icarusshomestuckfan do u remember that one convoersation we had about how i had no headcanons? well i do now!!!!

also im only doing the beta kids rn cause i dont wanna spoil anything for @giggleshitter0

ok chat starting with my main dude

Dave Strider hc!! dave is definitely, at the start at least, very thin but relatively lanky bc of general malnourishment from bro. however i like 2 think that he would become healthier throughout the comic and eventually become a healthy weight for his height. dave i think, if he went 2 school i think people would like him and think he was cool and wanna hang out buttt i think that he wowuld only have a couple good friends like the other beta kids buttt like his irl friends. i think dave definetly learned many domestic chores at a very young age. however i think bro would care about how dave looks, like his style and whatnot, but it would be strictly mandated by bro, with lil room for dave to express himself differently from bro. i think that dave is biracial bc i think roxy is black n dirk is pale asf in a white way.

kk now for our unoffical main character the nicest sigmaest guy john!

John Egbert hc: just clariying i think june egbert iis totally cool and probably canon buttt i personally never rly thought about it b4 getting into the fandom so i have no headcanons for her so here r my headcanons for john. john definitely is on the chubbier smaller side imo. his dad does bake a lot! i think john had a pretty good upbringing and was pretty happy with his bad movies and prank obssession. at school he probably had a couple nerdy friends and tehy were all very close! i dont think he would play dnd buttt if he did i bet thats where he would meet his friends, stranger things style. john is a classic nerd and people like him bc hes so nice and very considerate. john likes basketball n has fun playing it but isnt very good. i think john is half brazilian bc i think jake is brazilian but alpha kids are for another day haha. john has definetly broken his glasses a few times tripping over things. i think hes a bit clumbsy lol.

now onto our goth queennnn rose

Rose Lalonde hc: rose definitely had a rough childhood 2 but i think her mom took more care of her then bro did even if it was only 2 play the role of motherhood for her passive aggressive tendencies. she definitely stopped doing anything (other than vacuuming lol) once rose was old enough to do it herself. i think roses hair is bleached and straightened to oblivion and when she gets older shes defintely gonna wish she hadnt done it so much when she was younger. i think at school many people would have wanted to be her friend but she prefered more solitude, for wizard fanfics and eldritch god study. i think rose is shorter and curvier, (i def like the idea of her being shorter than kan) and a bit darker than dave. she started her intensive makeup routine in the hopes of attracting her mothers attention negatively, but with no luck. however she kept up with it because she found she liked the repetitivness of putting it on each morning, as well as the fact that it fit her overall aesthetic.

now for everyones fav doggie girl, jade!

Jade Harley hc: i love jade i think she is sooo cute. jade had an interesting childhood, being raised by a god level dog. i dont think it was necessarily bad just... very different from the other kids. i imagine she was left unattended a lot, but bec would always be aware of when to teleport in 2 save her. her hair is very long and has never really been cut officially due 2 living in the woods. jade is completely homeschooled and has nevre left the island. i think jade is rather petite and pretty thin overall... i imagine dogs probably arent the best at nutrition for humans haha. even tho jade doesnt know any kids her age in person i think she probably had many online friends and spent a lot of time online, playing games, watching videos, and just messing around. i think she learned bass from a youtube video. jade is also half brazilian cause jake

well those r my shitty headcanons

[borathae]

Chapter 2

That dick is all over campus” call that a hoeyager

oh they are very serious oof

running for her life?? TAE WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT TO DO TO ME???

“A gentleman’s secret muhee hee hee hee

“Your car is really sexy truer words ahve never been spoken

Do you enjoy music? watch his ass play johnny marvin

WHAT IS DOIJG ?? *im guessing he can charm/manipulate minds?

You didn’t want to say this, why did you say this? MOM(2seok,kook) PICK ME UP IM SCARED

You shiver and blink, feeling as if you finally found the way out of something. But what?  BYE TAEHYUNG UM I WILL COME BACK TO YOU, later..... like 500 years later as reincarnation bye

I knew that you would enjoy this place”, hOW DID U KNOW??

(footsteps)Taehyung’s were silent. STOP BYE IM LEAVIMG IM SCARED KOOK SHOULD HAVE BEEN FASTER TO COLLECT ME AAH

every lovely lady I spent time with, always shifts to my descent sooner or later.” whoops hee hee

“I want to talk to that source one day, they seem to have the raunchiest details about artists” mr. dracula must be fluttering

resting bitch face is very annoying, especially when it looks like a certain someone and u cant rest it, even at home (was a struggle in lockdown)

“It’s a little eerie here HOMEGIRL IS THAT THE ONLY THING U FOUND EERIE YET???

ofc a murderer wouldnt tell you, imagine u going

excuse me, young lady, you look really good tonight

-oh thank you, u shouldnt have

well i have to, cuz its going to be your last night.

-what?

im a murderer, so let me just stabby stab yeah?

-oh yeah sure why not, since u are polite

ok mr. not a murderer, would u mind making me hungry for more healthier stuff??? and also not let me gain weight???? thank yew

such a big house????? that you own???? in this economy????

Are you going to cook dinner for me? nope he is about to pull a hannibal and make u the dinner for all the housemates 😭

I fear not, I am quite terrible in the kitchen. But worry not, you will still get delicious food. sir i wisheth u stopped thy habit of speaking old english (jk, go on, make me laugh lol, i literally pulled on my old pants that comes up to knees and wore socks above)

A scarlet red rope adorns his naked body, opened in the front to reveal his toned torso and the matching silk pants adorning his sculpted legs. I AM HOE, SERVANT, AND MAID AND YOURS PERSONALLY, HOW MAY I SERVE YOU, SIR????

descending down the stairs like a graceful cat. ah the line is so good i love it, i can see it, not like i wasnt seeing 95% of the scenes like a movie in my head

she snorted she snorted SHE SNORTED GOOD NIGHT

He answered it clearly and loudly. WHAT DID HE SAY AAH

Where did he get that glass from? You can’t remember watching him stand up and get it. Or did he have it all this time already? boi what goes on

The movie about the messy street rat helping that weak cook U LIVED THAT LONG AND THATS YOUR OPINION??? UNCULTURED SWINE

his movie is a masterpiece. It’s about friendship and love and overcoming stereotypes, it’s so much more than just a rat helping a cook PERIOD TELL EM SIS

CARS ISNT BAD JIMINSHI MY LOVE

I like to refresh my memory sometimes SIR ANOTHER HINT AAH

How could I, a mere mortal man, sleep next to your beautiful body and not be tempted by my carnal desires?” MORTAL MAN??? U SURE ABOUT THAT?

feeling that i’ve seen them before somewhere” SAY WHAT OMG she is indeed special, i mean obviously why would 2seok call her and kook say we smell good

Do not open your doors tonight. Keep them locked.” THEY GOT DEAD BODIES PT 2

HUH??? how did she end up in the library?? does opening the door even for a second cause such stuff?

omg bad boi yoongles came to save us

the suspense is killing me the foreshadowing is hecking great

and im already excited to know more about all characters *squeaks

heheheh I love your reviews hehehe thank youuuu 💜💜

That dick is all over campus” call that a hoeyager

LMAOAO FOR REAL jfajds f

running for her life?? TAE WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT TO DO TO ME???

SUSPICIOUS INDEEEED

WHAT IS DOIJG ?? *im guessing he can charm/manipulate minds?

mhmhmhmmhmhmmmmmmmmmhhhhmmm 👀

You didn’t want to say this, why did you say this? MOM(2seok,kook) PICK ME UP IM SCARED

BESTIE HE IS DANGEROUS LIKE HELPPP

You shiver and blink, feeling as if you finally found the way out of something. But what?  BYE TAEHYUNG UM I WILL COME BACK TO YOU, later..... like 500 years later as reincarnation bye

LIKE LISTEN WHAT IS HE DOINNG??? HELLELEOOOO

I knew that you would enjoy this place”, hOW DID U KNOW??

👀👀👀👀👀

(footsteps)Taehyung’s were silent. STOP BYE IM LEAVIMG IM SCARED KOOK SHOULD HAVE BEEN FASTER TO COLLECT ME AAH

GIRLIEPOPS WE ARE SCARED

resting bitch face is very annoying, especially when it looks like a certain someone and u cant rest it, even at home (was a struggle in lockdown)

Oh no I'm sorry to hear that you can't even relax at home :/ I'm manifesting a safer living situation for you 💜💜

such a big house????? that you own???? in this economy????

so he rich RICH i see i see

Are you going to cook dinner for me? nope he is about to pull a hannibal and make u the dinner for all the housemates 😭

GIRL LEGIT LIKE PLEASE HELP HER

A scarlet red rope adorns his naked body, opened in the front to reveal his toned torso and the matching silk pants adorning his sculpted legs. I AM HOE, SERVANT, AND MAID AND YOURS PERSONALLY, HOW MAY I SERVE YOU, SIR????

lmao for real fjasjdfa

descending down the stairs like a graceful cat. ah the line is so good i love it, i can see it, not like i wasnt seeing 95% of the scenes like a movie in my head

GAAH EHEH THANK YOUU <33333

CARS ISNT BAD JIMINSHI MY LOVE

i must let you know that Cars is not Jimin's fave movie, Tae was just teasing him HAHAHAHAHAH i don't think that Jimin even has a fave movie tbhf JFAJDSFJ

feeling that i’ve seen them before somewhere” SAY WHAT OMG she is indeed special, i mean obviously why would 2seok call her and kook say we smell good

mmhmhmmhmhmhmmhmmmmm

Do not open your doors tonight. Keep them locked.” THEY GOT DEAD BODIES PT 2

LIKE SHE IS REALLY GONE NOW ISNT SHE FJASDFJ

HUH??? how did she end up in the library?? does opening the door even for a second cause such stuff?

mhmhmmmmmmmm 👀

omg bad boi yoongles came to save us

he is so hot tbfh.

the suspense is killing me the foreshadowing is hecking great and im already excited to know more about all characters *squeaks

gaah thank youu <333 I'm so happy that you're enjoying it so much heheheheh thank you for reading ilyy

[dreamc0rpse]

vent to no one but myself

9:23 pm jan 31 2023

I have surgery tomorrow

I have gained sm weight. Occasionally it feels good to look normal-er, feel normal-er, healthier.

But occasionally it bothers me, my body, my mind. I find it strange and deforming, i dont feel right when i see myself like this, or when i see myself like that again. Its weird to have tummy, its weird to know its right, its weird to see when i know its right, its like im not used to it, im not ready for it.

It will apparently be harder to lose weight after the surgery, which is weird. I wonder how my mind and body will take to it. Im so scared to wake up tomorrow, to go back to bed and wake up again. What if i dont wake up again? And what if i do?

Im scared of what will come, what if i spiral again and cant create the self for me that i am used to? What shall i do?

I am still young, could i work on it to make it for me? I dont know. I think i will, i will work to be healthier and proper without being unhealthy and sickly. I feel im better this way, or that. But both ways go for me, i dont know. I just see myself this vessel, something so strange not truly me, though supposed to be.

What am i, and what am i going to become. Oh well, i must prepare now, I can’t believe im having this happen to me.

Goodbye sweet organ. I will never see you again as much as I’d like to preserve you in my room they said I can’t.

Its strange, i cant fully recall the er visits anymore or even how they happened, what a strange time. To be so sick, and now getting well. Was it all my fault in the first place? Or was it surrounding?

I miss my sweet angels, oscar,son,tarbosh,nougat…

Snowball,tater,penny… the way they all mean so much. But now so far from touch, please watch over me, protect me and shield me more then those in my mind can, im so scared. Physical beings do not confide and secure my feelings the way they should, i just cant and do not feel good.

Anxiety is normal, but to be at a tie and loss between so, would i be content if i were to die? Or to live? I truly do not know. It is such a measly surgery its nothing to feel i will not make it, im just so unsure of how to feel about all of it. I think i want too, i think id be fine if i didnt as well…i dont know what i think. Only that i think id be fine if i could see them all again… but would i ever really see them? Would i feel them instead? Idk…

Everything thats happened and happens and goes on, everything that kills and tears me inside out, i cannot bear. Yet i go on, care for the others, its like a natural habit, i cannot care for myself, i do not know how.

Yet now i fear for them…i hope its all ok, that wven if i dont that they can make it on without me…really im sure they will…they can… i am just a measly thing now…spare me

[venranae]

V being correct again omg shocker! tho wanting to lose a lil weight cause i wanna be healthier and have some sort of shape lmao, gets really annoyin when Im too depressed to do shit And I'm lazy as hell, guess I'll just have to accept that I'm fucking gorgeous as I am idk.

If its for health reasons I absolutely understand wanting to adjust your weight a bit (it goes in both directions - i've met people struggling to gain weight too to be healthy) and trust me i don't have a muscle in my body AND i'm lazy and depressed but yk like i've said weight can CONSTANTLY change one second you gain and one second you lose again and its nothing I pressure myself with. I mostly focus on getting my body the vitamins and proteins it needs cause thats my main goal in staying healthy. I try to eat good and healthy food and I still look kinda chubby yk and i'm ok with that. I actually eat NOT ENOUGH food and thats what I struggle with the most and that causes an extra lack of energy. Yk trying to be healthy is already a good step in the right direction! And you should love yourself either way no matter what state your body is in. Should you refuse to love sth just cause it's not perfectly healthy? As long as you KNOW you want to change for the better as an act of self love (yk not turning a blind eye to issues that come with how you are like health issues) you can still appreciate and love who you are rn. Your WORTH is not determined by how healthy you are or how you look. You should ALWAYS love yourself first.

[sk1nnyblogxr]

Helloooo :) So i haven't been very active on here, but I've got my reasons.

I have been eating in a "good" caloric defecit the last weeks, and by that i mean Iv'e lost 3kg in about 2 weeks, WITHOUT starving!! 😋

It has been hard, yes. Im not gonna lie, bc sometimes i just sit and look at my food and i feel sick.

I have also been walking alot, and it feels so good. The amount of calories i have consumed has been between 900 and 1300 every day, and for me, thats really good. I even had a few pieces of candy yesterday, and i didn't gain a gram 🤷‍♀️ I feel great that Iv'e lost weight, while im still eating pretty good.

Sure i wish i would be at my goalweight right now, but then i also know i wouldn't feel this good overall. Instead id be much colder, more tired, and i wouldn't be able to see my friends eighter.

So every small step to a healthier Lifestyle is something we all should be proud of!!

And please remember that being healthy is not only based on how your body looks, it's actually mostly about how you feel on the inside.

Its healthy to be able to meet with friends and have a laugh. Its healthy to be able to go out for a long walk and feeling good in your mind and body afterwards, and not feeling sore, and not shaking bc of the loss of energy, and not feeling cold all the time. Because THATS when the happiness starts coming back. Socialise, laugh, dont think to much, and go outside for a walk because it's NICE not because you "have to".

That is what being healthy really is about. And i know that this may sound sooo hard to do, and even think about. And it is gonna be scary and hard to try to step up your calories just a little, but its OK.

Every wound takes time to heal, and so do you.

I know that far from everyone is ready to take a step towards being healthier. And i dont judge anyone, because i have just started myself, and it's hard, but i feel good more often than i feel bad. And before it was the other way around.

I know not many people read my blog, but if you read this, please reblog and let other people in on this page, because i really hope it can help people to get better.

Here are some of the tips im using to get better:

• Drink water to stay hydrated

• Step up your calories a little each/every other day. (How much is up to you, as long as you step up a little each week)

• Take your time. There are going to be bad days where you want to give up, but dont.

• Take a walk everyday. (You dont have to, but its good for your mind to get some fresh air)

• If u feel ready, face your fear food. (For me thats carbs, fat, sugar and diary)

• Keep eating healthy food like salads & greens and meat. It wont make you fat, it Will get you healthier habits.

• Take your time, and dont stress.

• Eat 3 MEALS a day (Breakfast, lunch, dinner) and add in two snacks during the day. (I usally eat an apple as a snack, or rice cakes)

• Tips to the one above: Keep a goal to finish whats on your plate, but remember its OK not to. As i said before, take your time.

• Make your food look and taste good. It will make it more fun, and will build up your image of food as being something fun again.

• To the one above: If you cook your own meals, have fun while cooking! Dance to music, sing, talk to someone over the phone. Do whatever YOU Think is fun.

• Dont be afraid to taste your food while cooking. (I have tried it and i promise, it Will NOT make you gain weight.)

• Talk to someone about your thoughts and feelings. (If you dont have anyone to talk to in person, Tumblr is full of people who would like to talk. Including me.

• Stay positive and do things that make you feel good

• Eat the food you think taste good

• Have that piece of chocolate

• Eat that cracker to your coffee

• Read stuff like this :)

Hope this helps someone. X ♡

[fairycosmos]

If you’d like to share, why do you say you have no future? I find myself thinking the same same all of the time too. Maybe i could understand the why of it if i could put into words why it terrifies me so much. Other than the glaringly clear facts that i find myself having no passions or aspirations. Ive been living my life on hold for as long as i can remember. Once i lose the weight ill- once im beautiful ill- after ive_my life will start. Now ive realised that ive lost all this time waiting

honestly YEAH you put it into words pretty well here, even though it’s something that’s so hard to describe…..i guess for me when talking about the bigger picture, the imminent disintegration of modern society and being raised within a system that keeps underprivileged ppl locked in the same cycles and stuff, it’s just…..extremely discouraging. and exhausting to be a part of. takes all of the heart out of me. but i could probably deal with that if i was a different person. like you, i don’t have any solid aspirations or goals and even if i did, there’d be no way to get my foot in the door. because you need to come from the right background to even have a chance at a chance of anything. and i’m not saying i’m starving on the streets or in the worst care scenario, because i’m not. but i do not have the finances to make up for my lack of ability or personality. more than that, i see such a consistent pattern of failure within myself….i don’t have natural talent or beauty, and i don’t have charm or charisma, and i don’t have money or connections. so, what do i have? i just have to get by. i know this all seems very career focused but that’s what we’re raised to see in our futures, that’s what we’re raised to build our whole lives around. and you need to work to survive. so i’m going to spend so much of my life doing something i hate, just to keep going, and thats not living. most of us live that way though, i know. but still. we’re not exactly compatible with it. another thing is my family and my mental illness. there is always a sense of impending doom permeating all of my actions and thoughts. i can’t trust my own perspective, and i’m so useless compared to others. the older i get, the more those around me will wither away and die. and simultaneously, more and more obligations will fall onto my shoulders as the years pass. what little stability and freedom i had will continue to slip as my mum grows more ill, and who knows what else will happen besides that…..’hope’ feels like an unnecessary delusion. i don’t want to kid myself into believing in a version of my existence that i am never going to experience. i want to be mentally prepared for how bad it’s going to be. i’ve been practicing loneliness and i’m getting used to it. i’ve also spent a lot of time waiting, and in turn deteriorating. feels like i’ve been waiting since i was eleven, and now i’m almost twenty, and i haven’t figured out anything. i think the trouble is that in order to grow and to find out who you are you have to keep pushing yourself out into the world over and over again. but that’s so hard when you’re not who it needs you to be, and you know you never will be. it probably seems like a self pitying mindset, but i can’t think of any other narrative that feels as true as this one does. i don’t know….i feel the urge to tell you that a lot of this anxiety is probably just caused by the fact that we haven’t lived the solutions to our problems yet. whatever will be, will be. it’s not impossible to find small moments of happiness and peace, and it’s not impossible to try to live a little more each day. even if that just looks like going for a walk or reaching out to someone you miss. being an active part of the tangible reality while we have the chance, and letting that be good enough. it may be that depression is causing you to feel apathetic towards everything, and if that’s the case i’d really urge you to talk to someone about it. whether it’s your parents, your doctor, a support group or a hotline. please consider it. it’s ok to give a name to the pain, or to the numbness. it’s alright to open up, even if it’s scary. biting the bullet is the hardest part, but know that you deserve support. no matter what your brain is telling you. your mental health is just as important as your physical health and sometimes it needs some care and attention in order to return to a state of equilibrium. training your brain through communication and healthier coping mechanisms WILL lead to a clearer mind frame, and more stable thoughts. we all need help at some point. ultimately, our aspirations transform as we get older. we don’t have to stay the same. and we definitely don’t have to have it all worked out right now. we just have to try to find what (safely) brings us peace and then incorporate into our existences as much as we can. we don’t have to be good at it. we don’t have to make it our job. i think it’s just enough search for what sparks an interest in you, which you can then build off of. nothings set in stone, really. our fear and self hatred doesn’t change such a concrete fact.

[wildewebdesign-blog]

My weight loss journey

 This was me at the beginning of my journey

December 2018 I decided to stand on the scales to see just how heavy I was, and my god I was horrified by the digits I saw! Thats when my love/hate relationship with the weighing scales took a turn for the better. I then decided that my new years resolution would be to lose some weight and get in to shape! So, on the 1st of January 2019 I did just that!

I started to eat healthier and make healthier choices at first but my mindset on food remained the same, which as we all know (for those that have a food addiction) is a real pain in the backside as we just hate wasting food or leaving leftovers. I mean being a few pounds away from twenty nine stone wasnt good for me, my health or my amazing wife who has supported me throughout my entire journey so far! The first step was to cut my portion size down bit by bit so it wasnt a drastic change, stop having takeaways and give myself one day of the week where I could eat something naughty to help curve the cravings for the rest of the week (didn’t go so well, ate like a pig on crap food!) So, I limited myself eventually but that bit comes later in my story! The first week I had lost almost half a stone and was feeling on top of the world! I never thought I could lose weight, as I always gave up after a month or so, this time however I was determined to stick it out. I had an appointment with the doctors, can’t remember what for but the results from a blood test showed I was ALMOST pre-diabetic, so even more important to shift the weight! By going along with most of the official Slimming World guidelines and rules (didn’t go to meetings, not my thing!) I found it easier at first, but figured out very quickly that it had its limitations as some things may work for others but not for me so, I made some tweaks to it, first off, its not a diet. Its a way of life! That bit is very important as if its a diet, you can quit at anytime, whereas if it is a part of daily life, you can’t!

After four months of eating healthier, being a little more active I had a follow up appointment with my GP who actually referred me to the gym, which to be fair I was a little anxious about, I mean the stigma around gyms is they are full of muscular, skinny people but, I found they weren't! Others like me doing their best to shed a few pounds. I will admit, I got addicted to the endorphins and the rush you get afterwards! Oh did I mention that before I started in the gym I had lost three and a half stone already?

Those of you that are on Slimming World and are buying SW chips, or par boiling homemade chips… DON’T DO IT! There is a better way! Handy trick for you, you can either peel them or keep the skin on, but slice your potatoes into chips, spray an oven tray with enough frylight to coat the tray, place the chips on, salt/pepper them and spray more frylight on top to make them crispy and place in the oven at 200 degrees Celsius for half an hour (depending on how you like them) and they are gorgeous! Healthy chips without all the faff!

  Ok so, I left off last time after mentioning about my first visit to the gym. This was a whole new area of the world I hadn’t previously explored and was completely clueless! I knew how to use the bike and the treadmill but that was it. The fitness instructor I was assigned to was very inviting and kind, and always paid me compliments which helped boost my confidence whilst in the gym. I started on the TRX, bike, treadmill and squats to start with so, basically all cardio. Which I found relaxing to be fair. It got me into a routine, which I highly recommend for weight loss! Routine is one of the main things that has helped me get this far! Food routine and daily routine. After all, your body stores fat when you have irregular eating patterns as it doesn't know when it will be fed next. Sorry I digressed a little there.

 I found that once I am in the gym, headphones in and my favourite music playing I was in the zone, where I could push myself each week to work harder, do more and improve the statistics on my account to show myself I am capable of doing it. At this point I was only attending the gym twice per week. I did this for six months and had lost a total of six and a half stone at this point. I even lost weight over Christmas!

 Things changed in May 2020 thanks to the Corona Virus pandemic, where all the gyms, swimming pools etc all closed, so this is where I had to get creative to continue the weight loss and not just sit at home eating crap because I was stuck inside. So I headed over to Youtube and found one or two easy workout videos which I did every day, I was seeing great results! Losing more than I did whilst in the gym and feeling more energetic. I moved on to the video I still use every day today, Emi Wong 30 minute minute HIIT workout with no jumping. Not quite beginner but still a great workout, it has helped me get to the point where at this moment in time (04/06/2020) I am a pound away from a nine and a half stone loss! This is the part of my story where I can share some of the tricks I have used in order to get this far. Most of which are easy enough to do, but some will require self control and a great mental attitude!

 This is me now, weighing 19.2 stone! 

  1) Routine, as mentioned above this helps you to stay the course and also allows you more freedom if that makes any sense?

2) Drink plenty of water, this in turn helps the skin retain its elasticity which helps your skin bounce back instead of having saggy, loose skin afterwards.

 3) Eating meals which are healthy, but can be made exciting using herbs and spices to spruce them up a little, you can still have whatever you want but portion control is a must. I still eat sausages but they are Linda McCartney vegetarian sausages.

 4) Keep active, says it all really. No explanation needed.

 5) Change the way you think about food. Before I started this journey I LOVED pizza and now everytime I think about eating a slice I feel physically sick!

 6) Three square meals a day at regular times, for example everyday I have two weetabix, blueberries, grapes, raspberries and strawberries for breakfast. Then I have lettuce, cucumber, cheese and ham sandwiches for dinner and for the main meal I tend to go for gammon (fat removed), broccoli and the chips I mentioned above. I don’t get hungry during the day doing this, so im not liable to eat more than I should.

 7) Don’t be afraid to ask for help! People that want to see you in the best shape of your life are more than willing to help! NEVER be ashamed or afraid if you get tempted or have cheated by eating something you shouldn't have, we all do it! At the end of the day its your body, your choices and your life!

  So that is my story so far. Any questions? Want somewhere to start yourself? Feel free to comment below and I will answer when I can as my wife and I run two small businesses. One is a website design business called www.wildewebdesign.co.uk and the other is a craft business called www.wildeaboutcrafts.co.uk feel free to take a look :)

[omigodimonfire]

Fitness Resources a.k.a. How to Get Jacked 2 tha Max

I pick things up and then I put them back down. I do a mix of strength training, weight lifting, and HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) cardio, interspersed with whatever I feel like doing on any given day, so these are all resources that I have found helpful.

Follow-along workout videos

Fitness Blender, and their youtube channel, is one of my faves for workout videos. They have a crapload of videos of all different levels, and they’re really good about talking you through each movement and modifying movements so that you can do things safely at a level you’re comfortable with. Their website has a fantastic search tool, so that you can sort their 563(!!!) videos by duration, difficulty, training style, body area of focus, equipment, etc. It’s so handy.

Velvet Hammer Fitness tends to post longer and more intense workout videos. They also have beginner-friendly videos, and will give you beginner modifications on the intense videos. It feels like I’ve climbed a mountain when I finish some of these. 

Kat Musni Fitness has fun 30-45 min videos. She’s weird and she keeps things interesting.

Scola Dondo has a series of dance workout videos. They are super fun to follow, and she always explains that she doesn’t teach the moves because she wants you to watch the video a few times and dance until you get it, which is a clever way to keep yourself moving.

The Fitness Marshall has even more dance workout videos! He choreographs cardio dance moves to hit pop songs, and he talks you through all of the steps. He has a curated playlist for a weekly-ish workout, called The Sweat Set, so it starts with a slower song to get you warmed up, and then a bunch of higher paced songs, followed by another slow song for a cool-down. It’s great fun, and he always makes me laugh.

HASfit is relatively new to me, but it seems to be similar to the Fitness Blender channel. They look like they know what they’re doing.

Yoga, Pilates, etc.

Blogilates, aka Cassey Ho, has a ton of 5-15 min follow-along pilates videos that focus on specific areas of the body. These pilates moves look easy-peasy, but damn do they burn.

Fightmaster Yoga has, by far, the coolest name. She has all kinds of yoga videos, from the short ones that explain certain poses in-depth, to the 1.5 hour long yoga “classes”. I did most of her 90-day yoga challenge* and loved it. I could feel myself getting stronger as the days went on. She’s really good about explaining what each movement is and how it should feel.

Yoga with Adriene has a similar style to Fightmaster Yoga, but with mostly 25-30 min videos. She also has a bunch of themed yoga videos, for example: yoga for hangovers. Realistic.

Flow With Adee has great flexibility videos, as well as a series of videos on stretching and recovering the day after a hard workout. Very useful! [Beware, the comments section on her videos gets real sexual and gross. Don’t look at the comments. :( ]

Sean Vigue Fitness has videos that mostly focus on strength-building yoga and pilates. He’s also kinda weird and makes random jokes. I like his vibe.

* “__ Day Beginner Challenge” things are great for motivation. It’s convenient and a great way to instill a daily habit. They’re a very popular thing, so pretty much any youtube yoga channel will have at least one “30 day beginner challenge” for you to try out.

Information, Tutorials, Articles, etc.

Gold Medal Bodies, or GMB, has lots of articles and tutorials. They’re a great place to go if you want to know more of the science behind a movement, healthy ways to move, or if you have a specific spot that you want to work on (for ex: stiff neck, sore elbows, etc.). They focus mainly on bodyweight movement with no equipment, and they have a few youtube videos to accompany the tutorials.

Bodybuilding.com is another website with articles and tutorials. It’s definitely leaning more towards aesthetic results, but they have useful information and about a million ways to get strong AF.

Athlean-X is a very bro-y youtube channel, but the guy makes great videos on the best ways to work out for strength. He covers form, number of sets and reps, the order you should perform things in, and more. If you don’t know what any of that means, this is a great place to learn.

Meg Squats is a fun channel to check out. She’s funny and has a realistic approach to strength training and life, and she’s strong as shit. DAMN inspirational.

Superhero Jacked has themed workouts for nerds. If there’s a comic book, movie, tv show, or game character that you admire, they’ve probably got a workout for them. They break down a weekly routine for each character that, in theory, will make you jacked like a superhero/ villain. It’s fun to read, at the very least.

Muscle for Life has some really useful tutorials and articles, if you can ignore the heteronormative bs way they’re advertising their books. Honestly, there’s a whole lot of bs going on in the fitness industry and I’m exhausted just thinking about it, but some of these primitive idiots really know their shit when it comes to getting stronger and healthier.

That’s all I can think of right now, but I may add to this later…

As a follow-up, here’s this: you’ve probably heard this a hundred times, but in order for you to really stick with a fitness regimen and reach your goals, whatever those may be, your choices have to be sustainable. If you pick something super difficult and challenging and make yourself do it every day, you will quickly lose motivation and burn out. So try a bunch of things and see what you like, and find something (or multiple things) that you can do every week. Find something that you like. Maybe you won’t be excited to do it every week, but at least you won’t absolutely despise it.

I try to remind myself that my workouts are not meant to be punishments. I’m not working extra hard because of that piece of cake I ate, or because I missed a workout yesterday. I’m working hard because I want to, because I love the way it makes me feel strong and capable. I also have to remind myself that some days I may feel weaker or shittier than other days, and that’s ok. Maybe I’m sore from a previous workout, maybe I didn’t sleep well, maybe I’m just in a terrible mood. It’s ok to take breaks when you need them, and to cut workouts short or skip them entirely. Remember, whatever you’re doing has to sustain you. Push your limits, work hard, be smart, don’t hurt yourself. Someone, probably a yogi, said, “thank your body for everything it does for you.”

[kookmint]

IMMY I HAVE A STORY. so i need my body goals cos i never really care about my body, they always stays the same. but since i study abroad, i gained 10kg -.- which i didnt expect at all!! im currently at my hometown im fuking determined to lose weight bcos jeans that i left home, it doesnt fit anymore!! TT ~ TT it was.. unbelivable. i try look up at healthy way to lose weight instead of crash diet like most of idols do ;____; (1)

i eat oatmeal day and night, only lunch i eat proper food like rice and fish. but the rice portion is really small! i drink green tea after lunch and dinner. if i get hungry, i eat eggs lol or fruits. so to get this weight loss a bit faster, i workout which im freaking sloth, i never do any exercise. so most of people i watch on yt, they said dance to kpop! and i was like... oh.. really... i dont have talent ;____; fml (2)

i get so desperate to the point, idc anymore and just move my body >__

I’m glad you are trying a healthier lifestyle love! But some things you said have concerned me slightly so just remember to take it easy! Don’t feel desperate over your diet or exercise~the more you pace the longer you will retain it! and make sure to get lots of proteins cause oats all the time is not the best ;;; ok ill shut up now

ANYWAYS! DANCE IS THE BEST WORK OUT I SWEAR!! Full body work out easily. When I’m done with dance season, I have to switch to actual workouts to stay fit, but when it’s dance season I don’t work out cause dance is my workout tbh. anyways, dude you must be getting such a good workout! These dances are no joke, but I’m glad you are having fun with it! also yeah??? 12 hours is nuts, I literally DIE after 2 hours of their level of activity. Big kudos to those boys!

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I never told anybody about the reason why I never went to prom.

I always said it was because I just couldn't find somebody to go with.

The truth was, I put so pressure on my self that when I didn't accept that my body was beautiful the way it was, just because it was big.

Lumpy, and I would hear guys that I like talk about other big girls and say "she's too big" or "she had stretch marks" as if me being the almost the exact same size as them made me feel indifferent to ever being accepted by a man and/or finding a girlfriend later on.

I still feel intimidated if I see a woman I thinks beautiful, gorgeous, cute, classy, sexy....but there's no chance because I couldn't be her size in a month. It'll will take me over 2 years to lose 100 pounds.

And still build up the muscle to even look good and not have saggy skin in my arms. Because if you lose the weight too fast, it comes off fast, but now you gotta wait to grow muscle to look tight, clean firm or you gotta pay for surgery to get your arms and your tits redid to look even more perkier and firmer, because I'll be real...my tits aren't naturally perky like these instagram models who can wear tops without a bra and it looks tight, firm, poking out.

I have to build a whole lotta muscle and lose a lot of weight to get my tits to look the way I want them to. To get my legs to look strong, but not too strong like a guy's or I lose more men suitors.

Because I like attention and I like to have more suitable options to pick from. Cause lets be real, with us plus size women...its hard for us not to settle when we don't feel loved and feel competitive, like me, to get the guys to stare at your boobs because you don't have a smoking, hot, hard ass, or even nice, big perky ass that shows off your body in just the right sized t-shirt that fits you.

So many times, I've felt like I've missed out because I didn't have the right body type to be liked enough to get committed to by someone I loved or even liked. Its a misjustice to myself that I even feel surprised and so quick to rush to accommodate another person who accepts me, as I am, and they're ok with my weight or at they say they do, but I don't. Because I don't believe that I'm beautiful enough to even date a nice, sweet, guy like mike or to even date someone who is way nicer and hotter looking than Mike, because I assume skinny, white dudes (based on what I've seen) want to hookup with me, but I've never met one person yet that took me seriously when it came to dating.

And that we actually had a reciprocal, mutual feeling scenario. I've only been with 5 people sexually. The first person I fell in love with was in middle school, and this Jay person....who I probably never will, never want to (logically) speak to...hurt me to my ever most softest core of my world, so I neglect to think....

That there is somebody more special than Jay that will make me feel like that person did when they showed me affection, when they kissed me, when they held me, when they told me I was beautiful, loved everything about me..

But what I'm most scared of now is...How can I trust another human being who sees that in me, but chooses to hurt me, trick me, and even use me for just meaningless, casual sex.

When every time I wanna have sex or even kiss somebody else, I'm thinking about Jay...and Im thinking wowwww.

I must really not be over them. And then I hate myself all over again. That my heart just won't let that memory of them die. Those cherish able moments, not the bad ones, but the good ones. Why can't you see that there is plenty of more capable men, women, whoever, cause I try not to care about gender that much rn, but im sensitive around trans people, because Jay was...

But how do I know for sure, somebody won't make me feel better and make me feel sicker, all at the same time? Cause my heart has been broken by so many other timers and triers, and I'm like wow, why do people disappoint me? And why does disappointment and rejection hurt this much?

Can I be ok, when the next guy ends up not being interested?

Will I be ok, being single and alone for awhile when I finally get my driver's license and move to somewhere safer and freer. Away from my family's prejudices about who and what I do for the rest of my life?

Cause I really do want to give polyamory a try, but im just not that confident enough, because I don't feel secure in love.

And maybe I did sorta fall too fast for Teddy, maybe thats why I never felt so hurt by a man who reminded me of my father, but totally depreciated my value to hooking up with me, and sleeping with toxic people who was only out for a place to stay. He risked our commitment, for somebody who probably never even thought to buy him food when his fridge only had real milk and he was lactose intolerant. I showed more care for him, and I got lower class treatment, that girl got to move in with you and she had a dick and a butthole for you to cum on/in. That was wayyyy more important to you, than spending time with me and getting to know me. It was sex, magic cards, and money. That was all more important than me, to you.

I never wanna reduce myself to a relationship that makes me feel sexless, petty, aggressive, and provoked jealousy or settling for once a month dates. I need more contact, affection, and love than that.

And Im not a move in sex slave for you to have fun with on the weekends you gf or your wife isn't interested in sleeping with you.

Im tired of being "omg you're so hot, so beautiful" but oh, you're serious?? I dont really have time, money, or a place to fit you into my life, so let me just reschedule you as always available and objectifying me as a lustful piece of furniture always waiting on you to text me or call me, cause you're busy.

Imma start being busy too. Imma wait up on God, cause this casual, short term, not as interested in you, but ok, cool I'll date you just because you look good shit...is annoying.

I want someone better than Jay, emotionally available, healthier minded, into the same interests, doesn't mind what I do, what I say, what I sing about and doesn't call me out my name or degrade, dismiss, or bully me. I dont wanna be pushed away anymore. Work towards love, success, and commitment, and careers. Somebody with a healthy work/play/life balance. Where I dont have to feel like im settling for less time, nor any silly shit.

I'm ready God. Send me the right man who will love me right and be there for me when I feel like life is kicking me in the ass.

[tomlinspoooky]

big ass rant about everything in my life!! i know no one fckin cares but i need to get this out of my system and idk i dont really feel comfy talking about this with people irl 

(feel free to read and give me advice if u want lol i could maybe use some nice words) 

ok so first i need to talk about my dad. the thing is he’s always been a great dad, and i really have nothing bad to say about it, but he sometimes treats me like absolute shit for such small things. how can u still feel good about yourself after u told ur daughter off and got mad bc she didnt have the same opinion about renee zellweger’s face?? THAT WAS LITERALLY IT!! god he’s so weird and fucking childish it legit gets fucking embarrasing. i never bring people over (i dont even remember the last time i invited a friend home?) bc im worried he’ll do something weird, or say a weird comment, or fckn fight with my mom or my sister and i just cant take the it. the other day he called my sister thanos?? and when she asked him why he fucking snapped his fingers at her???? what in the actual fuck!, this man is 49 years old and that was his fucking response. also, god i hate that this bothers me he frickin rants with me(idk how to say it properly), like when we’re alone he tells me things one would tell a friend (that i dont think should be told to his daughter? but i dont tell him not to tell me bc i dont wanna be mean!!) and idk he complains about my sis or my mom, or shit thats goin on in the world, like things of that nature. why doesnt he talk to his friends?? i honestly dont even know if he has friends, which makes me feel sad, like i know people need to talk shit out so at least im listening to him. but honestly it does make me feel uncomfortable, but i cant tell him that bc he would get mad, i just know he would, and he would not talk to me and pretend like i dont exist for a whole week, and idk, i rather feel like shit about once in a while. anyway the last thing i wanna say about him is that it just pisses me off how racist and homophobi, fckn transphobic, sexist, and clasist(is that a word in english?), bc what the fuck man, how can u fucking praise white people so much?! fucking europeans??! why!! like they’re just tall fucking blonde people who were born in a different place, and that doesnt fucking mean they’re better than us latinxs!! (of course, not better than him, he’s their equal, better than everyone else in latinoamérica). and he’s fucking said this thing about how minorities are getting a better treatment than him and blablabla. and i just dont know how my own fucking father can be so oblivious to everything that’s happening in the world,, it saddens me that this is how he is and acts and fucking thinks, he used to be so different!! and idk what changed now :-(

boi that was long, anywayyyyy now im gonna talk about my sister, and i know i’ve spoken many times about her, but i just cant stop u know, its just,,,, shit. she’s got the worst fucking temper ever. look i dont even think of myself as nice or a good person or anything, but damn even i know how to behave and have manners?? she is so motherfuckin lazy i just can’t believe, uses my parents’ money for everything serious (like to buy things for my niece), but when she has her own money she buys just dumb ass shit? she just bought herself some doc martens, man, fucking doctor martens!!! and the worst thing about her is that she doesnt pay my niece the attention she needs, she’s always on her phone, and when she’s with her she gets mad right away and shouts at her (mind u my niece is 4 years old) my own niece told me she doesnt like being with her mom bc she is always on her phone!!! and she’s just shitty in general, like to a point i wonder how she even got friends bc i cant imagine someone standing her.  yes, i feel very crappy for talking and feeling like this about my sister, she has done good things to me and i know she cares about me (obvi its mutual), but it just sucks and hurts that she has become this shitty person, she used to be so different!! oh and also, she does spend all her time fighting with my dad over dumb shit thats not even worth it

ok last thing, this one maybe hurts me the most but what the hell. i really can’t look at myself anymore, i feel disgusted with my own body. (oddly enough im cool with my face? like i dont think my face is ugly, i just hate my body) its gotten so bad i dont even look at myself in the mirror (again, my body), and i really wanna do something about it, im thinking of telling my mom that i wanna go to the gym, but it would be so hard bc im shy and its just hard for me (my issue is that im overweight, thats why i wanna go to the gym) i feel really bad about this bc i know i shouldnt feel this way about myself, and i dont wanna!! which is why i wanna go to the gym and get down to a healthy weight, hopefully that would help me (and also im super sedentary? like i not only wanna go bc im fat, but bc i wanna be healthier) 

okkkk that was a lot, but i do feel better now

[what-is-left-is-lust]

I am very ugly

Soul and outter appearance and all. Whenever anyone would compliment me I would initially feel happy that its worth mentioning to me. Queue 3 minutes later and I feel disgusting. Like " no stop saying that , thats just cruel. Thats a cruel cruel joke." I had always assumed they were lying. Maybe they sensed I was sad and in their lame attempt to get me to feel better about myself brings them self gratification. I remember a lot of the times where someone has commented on how I look or my weight. Always struggled with my identity and image. Hearing it from other people didnt make anything easier. ' hey you lost weight you look so much better'. One of the dress fittings for my sisters wedding - the tailor told me I was pretty but id be prettier if I was thinner. He said I would never get married with how i looked. He said there was still time for me to change. He said what a shame. He said dont let it be a loss. He said things Id never forget. My sister said not to listen to him afterwards. That he said that to other people before. That hes outdated and he attempted to make it seem sincere or that he cared. My friends , to the best of my knowledge have never outwardly called me fat. But I definitely did feel like the ugly fat friend. Just brought around to enhance their self esteem. I felt pretty at times but only when I rarely ate. Those were the times where guys looked at me or when girls wanted to be my friend. Whenever I wore makeup when going out with my friends. Old flames or people I grew up with try and talk to me. They talk to me like they were introducing themselves for the first time. " Ive known you for 6 years.." " Im sorry i didnt recognize you. You look healthier!!" I was not. I was never healthy. Not at my biggest. Nor at my lowest. My current best and only friend has said things...jabs at my weight. He probably doesnt even know. While we went out to eat at a cafe and I ordered 2 appetizers and a meal he commented to the waiter about it. ' Sorry we're just really hungry we will probably take everything back with us home.' But he didnt order yet. I ate my meals too. Finishing it felt taboo like I wasnt supposed to. He mentioned 2 weeks ago that I was a catfish. That i take pictures from angles that make me look better. I know he avoided the word ' thinner' I knownit too. Maybe thats how i started my self online. Ive lied about my weight online before. Since I was younger I always tried acting like how I thought I was supposed to be. Since I was 10-11 years old i would say things for shock value. Never letting anyone come near the true me. Id say absurd things to even hurt other people. It never made me feel better. That was never the reason. I wanted to hurt myself. I was a coward. I wanted to hurt people with my words so that in return they would hurt me. And that is what I felt like I deserved. So when they leave..it is justified. Id repeat this process my entire life. Ive exiled amazing people. All due to my insecurities. Lying about my true feelings. Hiding behind a persona. I will never be 1/4th happy this way. I really wanted my best friend to be the first person to accept me at this..weight. I realized when my first 3 yr relationship ex saw me for the first time. He didnt care what I looked like. Thats why it was so hard to let him go. I felt he truly doesnt care about my weight or how I looked. I felt pretty and he didnt even have to say it. I felt beautiful again around my best friend almost every single time. Until..he would make slight comments like that. " He left you because you advertised yourself as someone better than you actually were IRL." He has said those words to me time and time again. I dont even know why anymore but it did hurt every single time. My ex bf the one who sparked ( if i could even call it that ) a change in me which resulted in some soul searching and ended up doing it for me- called me gorgeous one night when I was drunk. I felt beautiful then too. Only to have it shattered 2 months later by my best friend ( hes not awful i owe a lot to my best friend but in this aspect it really did mess me up) saying those words to me. I had my best friend carry me once for like 5 seconds. Id never let anyone do that to me. Never. But I let him. I trusted him. He knew what it meant to me and that made me happy. Zoom past 3 -4 months later he opened up to me that ever since then he was working out every day to get bigger and stronger. He said hes never done that for a girl before but he did it for me. My best friend wanted to get stronger...in order to be able to hold me. The gesture meant a lot to me but it also put in perspective..all of the females in his life are petite and somewhat thin and a few curvy ones. But I was the first. the biggest. I hadnt realize how my depression made me get to this point. I weighed myself. And i saw. I was gaining weight again. A lot more. Although he stopped i refuse to let my weight have this hold over me. Its not even just about that. I hate my shape. My ex hates it too thats another reason why he would never consider me a friend. My best friend even said im not his type and im not his ideal girl which is petite in that regard among other things. My best friend still loves me despite this. It still hurts to know how he truly feels. I wanted to wait till i saw him again ( been planning since December) that he was the only one in my life right then that wanted to talk to me and not have it related to my looks. Until he said all of that ^ until i realized he was initially obsessed with my ' thick thighs.' I know theres more to this. I know I know. These thoughts iscolate themselves from the bigger picture. I just never want to fool myself for a second that there will be someone who sees me like "this" and truly wants to help me get better. Or love me the way I am. I wanted it to be my ex at the time so bad. Little did I know it was the complete opposite. I know my bestfriend DOES love me how I am but i cannot help to silence the demons in my head that tell me otherwise. That he wishes I was different. I feel like he liked my shock factor personality. That he liked how ambitious or random i could be. I tried showing him another side of me..a truer side in which we could just chill and do nothing and we could be content. But he explained to me he hated it. " you always say you wanna do adventurous things with me but when it comes down to it you dont want to do anything." ...thats not true. I didnt realize he wanted it all the time. He always wanted things to be spontaneous and hot and heavy and extreme. I did not think there wouldnt be any room to breathe. To just chill with the person i held dear. I didnt know i was that person to him. I didnt know I would be replaced in that aspect. I didnt know i finished my service.. my plans to tell him how i felt in May have diminished because I dont feel that way anymore. He said after that incident he had fallen out of love for me due to me telling him to move on. I had been telling him for months. Why did he decide that then? Because i didnt want to do those things? I wanted a firm line between what is ok and what wasnt. Theres so many things I would do with him had I felt more comfortable in my own skin..I want to be able to do them one day but for some reason it doesnt feel right with him. A lot of other things do..of course. I love him dearly. Maybe even more than he does to me. Theres so much he doesnt understand and doesnt want to hear. Theres so much ive been going hot and cold on for so long i still havent decided my feelings on a lot of things. I dont want to lose my best friend but i do not want to be belitted in the process i dont want to lose myself. So right now ive decided to be numb. Go with the flow but be numb. Dont let things get to me. All these thoughts i have written on this blog will remain but I shall move on. I might tell him one day and maybe even my ex if he will ever care enough. I never meant to hurt you that way. I meant to hurt me. I didnt mean to lie to you to hurt you. It was meant to not hurt me. I wanted to be something greater than i was. I didnt mean to belittle you and i hope you can forgiv eme one day. Now i can finally stop hoping you would find me truly beautiful one day. Like the first time you saw me. My best friend and past lovers. I will become better. I will not let my past haunt me. To my family I will always love you no matter where I am. I love you even if I say I dont. I am stubborn sometimes. I will change. If not for me then I shall for all of you. Thank you. Please please, i will never leave you again. So do not leave me. Remember me..okay? Just remember me.

[chocolate-brownies]

The first time I went to a Kundalini yoga class, I was the only fat person in the room. I noted it and moved on; at a size 20, I am often the largest woman in the room. I’m a bit fearless when it comes to trying new things, so it never phased me to feel odd as I stumbled and tripped over myself, finding modifications for Frog Pose where my stomach wouldn’t get in the way.

But I know, unlike me, that over 55 percent of women in the U.S. have admitted to having “abusive thoughts” about their size; as a plus-size influencer, I can’t tell you amount of times I have heard women tell me that being self-conscious about their weight stops them from trying new things, taking classes, going places, and experiencing moments in life that many people take for granted.

I also noticed I was one of the older people in the room at classes—which struck me odd, since the average age in the U.S. is 38, and just over 50 percent of people are over 35.

I’d love to say these observations were anomalies… they weren’t.  The more time I spent immersing myself in holistic wellness, the more I noticed a discouraging lack of body diversity participating in practices. We’re a country with a sea of colors, ages, sizes, and shapes—and yet, at most place I’d go, I’d be the lone larger body in a sea of slender, athletic, and disproportionately youthful women.

I am a 40-year-old plus size woman who works in self-love and wellness. I’m a Kundalini yoga teacher, a public speaker, a writer, and event creator. I’ve worked on social media serving size-inclusive groups of women with self-love and body positivity for over nine years. The number one comment I hear time and time again? “It’s so great to see someone who looks like me doing things.”

My Personal Journey

In 2015, I was around 360 lbs; this number may not be fathomable to you, so let me put it in perspective by saying my body was regularly in so much pain that I was unable to walk a single NYC block without stopping.  But the bigger problem, was that emotionally I felt like everyone was living, and I was just watching things pass me by in the fast lane. I needed more, but I was super scared to change.

I started looking around online, in classes, or in the media; there was nobody I could identify with to show me it was possible to create change from the inside out without buying into diet culture. I needed to identify with someone that could make it safe for me to try new things. So I’ve became the person I needed to see.

The number one comment I hear time and time again? “It’s so great to see someone who looks like me doing things.”

For the last three years, I’ve shared my spiritual, fitness, and personal growth journey online, the highs and the lows. In the process, I have become someone who runs the only truly size-inclusive personal growth event in the market today. Because I know the truth: Body diversity and representation matters.

Sarah teaching her Body Love Workshop. Photo courtesy of the author.

To be blunt: This matters even if you aren’t fat.

Here’s why.

If we are alive on this planet, we’re going to age.

Chronic illness affects more than 40 percent of the population.

Over 19 percent of people in the U.S. live with a disability.

Deaf and hard of hearing people are often “left out” of traditional wellness spaces.

68 percent of women in the U.S. wear a size 16 and above.

Nearly 40 percent of Americans are obese.

Slender, young, seemingly “healthy” people are not the average in this country. And yet the wellness space can hardly be considered a welcoming or “safe” space for marginalized bodies. Even if you aren’t plus size, there’s a good chance you’ll fall into one of those categories as you get older—which means unless things change, consider yourself left out too. We’re all in this together!

Wellness is for every body.

Understand that when I say wellness, I don’t mean ads hocking weight loss products—that’s not wellness, that’s Diet Culture. There’s a difference between the two, and the industry needs to evolve beyond the idea that “thinner equals healthier.” Wellness is about creating wholeness in many areas of your life—your body, your spiritual life, your personal life, physical life, occupational life, and more.

Let me be clear—I do not have a problem with weight loss, and I am not, what some call, a Fat Activist. What I am is a person who believes that all bodies deserve access to tools and practices to help foster self-love and create change if they seek it.

I know the more we represent marginalized bodies engaging in wellness practices, the more we make it safer and accessible for more bodies to self-improve… And isn’t that what wellness is all about in the first place? All bodies deserve representation in the wellness space. As a plus size woman, I personally advocate for making wellness size-friendly.

⇢ What can we do to change the landscape? ⇠

If you are a teacher…

Learn modifications to help students of size or limited mobility. Introduce the modifications in your class without fanfare.

If you don’t know modifications, ASK for help. There are influencers and teachers who specialize in serving marginalized bodies; there’s no shame in being unaware. These voices have yet to be amplified in the wellness space, but they are there! Do the work and find them. (When I did my teacher training at Wanderlust Hollywood, I was the only person of size in the room; I continually used my presence to raise questions and share how my mobility impacted my practice.)

Don’t assume that every person of size who walks in the door will need special assistance! Simply make yourself accessible for questions if they are presented.

Encourage your studios to use a variety of bodies in their marketing and social media.

Once well-versed in accessibility techniques, offer to teach a class for serving different populations if none are available in your area. Enlist the support and advice of leaders who represent these communities with sincerity.

LISTEN to marginalized bodies; don’t talk over people. Be open and willing to hear, and be educated without ego. Remember, this is not about you.

If you are a student…

Treat everyone in your class the same way. Seriously.

Don’t “position police” your neighbors of size in class. Trust us, that person is aware of their body limitations; they don’t need you to chime in.

61 percent of people think it’s OK to make disparaging remarks about other people’s weight—don’t be one of them.

Be an ally to your friends of size and consider being a little more “size-friendly” in your life in general.

If you organize festivals or events…

Actively seek diverse bodies with subject authority to speak and present. We’re out here, trust me.

Use marginalized bodies in your advertisements and on social media. Treat these bodies exactly the same as you would any other model or representative.

Make sure your programming doesn’t innately fall into the “diet culture” of wellness; be aware of the messages you are sending by choosing which subjects to create space for.

Vary. Your. Programming. Be willing to have the hard conversations and be willing to create a safe space for all bodies to come to the table and participate.

Partner with influencers who represent marginalized communities. (They may have smaller followings… Do it anyway.)

It’s time we start acknowledging that all bodies are not thin. All bodies are not young. Some bodies are more able, and some bodies are less able. But ALL bodies are worth the journey of discovering what wellness means to them.

If you have serious thoughts to add to this conversation and would like to contribute to The Wanderlust Journal, please email editorial@wanderlust.com. Let’s change the wellness world. Together. 

—

Sarah Sapora loves meditation and cowboy boots, and lives guided by the idea that every day we wake up (at any age or weight) is a chance to transform our life from a place of self-love. She’s a Kundalini yoga teacher who believes that strength training and deep soul-work are equally important in creating a happier and healthier life from the inside out. Sarah’s biggest passion is making holistic wellness accessible to bodies of size. She is a speaker, writer, social influencer, creator of the Body + Love Workshop, a totally size-inclusive personal growth event, and of LifeLove, an app launching in 2019. Sarah uses her voice to cultivate a community of self-love and self-improvement free of diet culture. You can find Sarah online on Instagram or on her website, www.sarahsapora.com.

1

The post I’m Fat and a Wellness Influencer. Here’s Why It Matters For You appeared first on Wanderlust.

[ihavehadenough-log]

This is it, this is war. 07-05-17 - Log 1

if you ever stumble across this dumb and shitty blog then congratulations you will not find something that will entertain you.

and no i won’t look after my grammar, because simply i just couldn’t care less.

this is a journey. this is my journey, which i wanted to document over this blog.

this basically is just a war declaration to my own body.

i’m almost 20 years old. I weigh over 85Kg. i’ve been overweight since i can actually think. yes, i’m not a native speaker thats why i didnt put it into lbs.

i basically created this blog as an official sign to myself that this is a thing now. i wan’t to loose weight. i wan’t to do this for myself and i found it would be the easiest way when i have some little routine to my day where i sit down and take my time to write down my depressive thoughts and things that happened to me that day because i know this wont be a fun time.

so why the hell do you start with this *now*? Was it the 4th buzzfeed video about working out and becoming a better version of yourself? was it the call from your mother when she asked you if you have already started the diet plan your grandma bought for you for your birthday last year? was it the time you looked into the mirror this morning in your sexy victoria secrets underwear you just bought for your self (size XL) and started to cry because you dont like what you see?

Allthough i face this kind of issues with my self on a daily basis - i just have enough of my self. everybody in my sourrindgs is changing. i’ve notcied how all of my friends from the past have great lifes, great jobs/ school stuff going on and great girl/boyfriends. yes i do have a job and i live on my own, but i dont have a boyfriend, because im a stupid anxious and self concious little fuck that is also pretty anti social. and there comes the point with my mind into the game. i somehow think that as long as i look like that i just dont deserve love.

this is my goddamn personality and another issue at this point. i should probably talk to a therapist any time soon.

did i mention that im also a lazy fucktard? im the queen of procastinating. seriously. i’m about to start to do my driver license. since march this year.

i’m basically just fucking mad at myself?? like?? why the fuck are you like this??

Ok. i want to put this shit aside. how am i going to do it now? well, i downloaded an app. 30 days fit challange. i wanna start exercising. i wanna start eat healthier. no more junk food (even tho i didnt eat so much shit my problem is that i just eat too much of the bad stuff) i want to actually try the diet plan from my grandma..

so this is the end for today. i will write something down tomorrow. and writing like this feels like writing to a dear friend.. someone that i wouldnt bother..

goddamn it, i’m out.

[viralhottopics]

Dishing the dirt on detox | Jay Rayner

A self-confessed glutton, Jay Rayner has always been wary of the January detox. But after talking to experts and sampling some of the products, hes discovered the truth is even worse than he imagined

Sunday afternoon in the darkest days of early January and I am sitting on the sofa, my face caked in a mixture of clay mined from deep below the Atlas mountains and organic rosewater from the Dades Valley. My cheeks and brows are a mess of coagulating geography. I am giving myself a home facial, courtesy of Facetox, a product originating from Leeds which promises to Extract, Pull & Detoxify. The box says its cruelty free, but doing this to myself feels rather less so.

In my hand is a steaming mug of Dr Stuarts Liver Detox naturally caffeine-free tea, containing dandelion root, centaury herb and milk thistle. The tea promises to get it out your system without saying exactly what it might be. Before applying the mask I drank a glass of lemonade the colour of an outflow from a flooded coal mine. It is produced by Press London, is 0.05% activated charcoal and has the word detox on the label.

The face mask starts drying out, pulling my skin taut underneath. I begin to feel a bit of an arse, because the one thing all these products apparently claim to do detoxify me, purge me of poisons is the one thing they cannot do. Yes, I may have indulged over Christmas: drunk deep, eaten broadly, hit the sugars and the fats like a train ramming the buffers. But I know nothing with the word detox on the label will mitigate any of it.

The whole idea does make me smile, says Dr Donal ODonoghue, professor of renal medicine at Manchester University and president of the Renal Association, because it is cobblers. There is nothing like this which will improve your bodys detoxification system.

Nor does there need to be because of what butchers would call our offal, and Ill call our kidneys and liver these organs have that whole detox business covered for us. The liver processes what we put into ourselves. The kidneys then filter it out. There is nothing we can eat which will improve liver and kidney function, says Dimple Thakrar, spokesperson for the British Dietetic Association. As long as you are eating a normal, balanced diet your body will do exactly what it needs to do. Without our liver and kidneys we would die of poisoning, she says. The whole notion of detox is not merely redundant but, to put it in technical terms, a dumb-ass symptom of a deep well of scientific illiteracy which enables sane people to believe whatever unsubstantiated, anti-modern, counter-intuitive, make-it-up-as-we-go-along, bottom-feeding blather thats shoved in front of us.

Mud, glorious mud: Jay Rayner tries a facemask which, the packet says, will extract, pull and detoxify

And yet the myth of the January detox endures. Cosmetics companies spew forth literature on products they promise will purge your skin of all the poisons they have absorbed merely by living in the 21st century. Juice companies offer detoxifying cleanses. You want your liver to be as shiny and fresh as a newborns? Someone somewhere believes they have a product for that. Reputable newspapers OK, the Daily Mirror fill their pages with hokum and woo about the need to re-alkalise your system by eating plant algaes which help your body detoxify quickly.

The obvious response is to mutter a fool and their money and move on. Certainly, purifying yourself is a quick way to cleanse your wallet of money. That Facetox pack costs 24.99 for seven masks and, according to Dr Tamara Griffiths of the British Association of Dermatologists, will not detoxify you at all. Nothing applied to the skin will do that. It may take off some dead skin cells, but thats not really the same thing, she says. The tea is 4.40 a box. The activated charcoal lemonade retails at 6 for 330ml.

The odd face mask or drink of tea isnt going to do you any harm, but there can be a darker side to it if you go for a whole regime and choose the wrong one. This month a paper in the British Medical Journal reported the recent case of a 47-year-old woman admitted to hospital, suffering from seizures brought on by low sodium levels in her blood. She had been undergoing a herbal medication detox, alongside drinking vast amounts of water, green tea and sage. She recovered entirely once her sodium levels were returned to normal, but otherwise might indeed have been cleansed, if only from the face of the earth. The paper reported another case of a man who experienced fits after undertaking a similar regime.

It frustrates me when people bang on about detox, says Thakrar, because it can actually cause harm. The evidence suggests that by following a so-called detox, especially ones involving fasting, you can damage liver enzyme activity and therefore damage your bodys ability to detoxify itself. Likewise, she says, reducing calories for the short term can reduce your metabolic rate and you can end up putting on more weight in the long term.

I show her literature from a company offering tailor-made juice-cleanse packages delivered to your door for hundreds of pounds which they say will detoxify your body and reset your metabolism. They proclaim celebrity endorsements from the likes of Madonna, Georgia May Jagger and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Theres no evidence to back up any of the claims, Thakrar says. Theyre nonsensical. I suppose the positive is that youd get a lot of fruit and vegetables, but were adults and we have teeth. We dont need our food juiced. Plus, you could end up consuming enormous amounts of sugar. Wheres the protein? Wheres the calcium?

You would think there would be laws covering this sort of thing, and there are. Any health claims made for food or cosmetics have to be backed up by scientifically rigorous research which is then assessed, since 2007, by the relevant European Union body. In the case of food it is the European Food Safety Agency. Applications for a valid claim of a detoxifying effect have been made for a dozen foodstuffs, including grapefruit, seaweed and a rice vinegar extract. All have been refused. But, as Im told by David Pickering of the Trading Standards Institute, which has responsibility for messages on packaging: It is very hard to police the health-claims market, not least in the age of the internet when products might be coming in from places where regulation is different.

Talking to the companies in this country responsible for detox products and their marketing is not always a rewarding experience. In a south London branch of Boots I find racks of multi-vitamins. While none of these say they rid your body of poisons, the sign above the shelves does say Detox. Boots tells me it was a mistake, and left over from an installation put up in 2007 and would be taken down immediately. I ask the manufacturer of Dr Stuarts Liver Detox tea, based in Storrington, West Sussex, how it detoxifies the liver and what research they have to back up the message that it could get it out your system. Arran Elliott of Dr Stuarts replies: We have decided to abstain from commenting on this matter. Oh.

Its tricky to work out when detox became a necessary cure for lifestyle rather than genuine poisoning. Illustration: Eva Bee

Ed Foy of Press London, which manufacturers the activated charcoal lemonade, is more forthcoming. First, we dont make direct claims about their impact on a persons body, he tells me by email. As we know this would put us into a category of therapeutic regulation and would be beyond our remit as a consumer food company. Indeed it would, though he goes on to point out that charcoal is used in other clinical detoxifying processes. Perhaps, but is that any excuse for turning out a lemonade which looks like pond water?

As to the justification for putting the word detox on the bottle, this is apparently a massive category error on my part. Apparently and its worth reading this explanation in full I was confusing the publics vernacular use of detox in common parlance and the medical term detoxification. Today, if someone says I am doing a January detox they mean that they are cutting out negative factors in their consumption habits, such as alcohol, smoking and foods rich in sugar, fat or salt. Therefore when we talk about detox to a consumer the consumer understands we are promoting the preferential consumption of healthier products rather than harmful ones and not referring specifically to the process of detoxification by the liver and or kidneys.

Say what? This is my mistake? The fact that detox is short for detoxification and that, in every dictionary the word is defined as variations on the removal of poisons from the body has nothing to do with it? I make myself another cup of Dr Stuarts Liver Detox tea to see if that will calm me down. It doesnt. I study a pack of cleansing detox foot pads made in China for Organic Guru. You bandage them to your feet while you sleep and apparently the active ingredients vinegar, plant powder and something called minus ion work wonders. The main functions according to the pack are detoxification beauty, clear physical beauty, stimulate metabolism, enhance immune function. Not bad for 6.99. If it wasnt utter tosh.

Detoxification does, of course, have a medical meaning, involving treatments for narcotic addiction or overdose. It is, therefore, tricky to work out when detox became seen as a necessary cure for lifestyle rather than genuine poisoning. However, according to Dr Alun Withey, historian of medicine at Exeter University, it is less a modern phenomenon than a notion that reaches back to our pre-pharmacological past. There is a striking similarity between modern media ideas of detox and 17th-century versions of medical treatments to drive out the bad things, he says. The literature of the period, including that by renowned herbalist Thomas Culpeper, is full of remedies against a surfeit, he says. Culpeper in turn recycles a lot of stuff thats centuries old about restoring the body to balance.

Judy Swift, associate professor of behavioural nutrition at Nottingham University, also sees a link with the past. If you go back to the early Christian period there is the strong idea that the pleasure food gives you is a temptation and we rise above these things because we are not animals. We prove our moral worth by not doing it. Modern notions of detox echo all this. However, she says, there is also very much a link to modern health policy. While the medical fraternity may laugh in the face of detox products, she points out that government health advice eat five portions of fruit and veg a day, avoid certain fats, cut out the fizzy drinks is hardly dissimilar. The message of that advice, she says, is that to be healthy you have to work at it. It requires denial. It has to be medicalised. It has to be hard won. Which sounds very much like a juice cleanse or gargling with sooty lemonade.

After I wash off my clay detoxifying face mask, I study my skin. It is a bit pink in places, but otherwise there is no difference from before, which makes sense given my skin wasnt poisoned in the first place. It merely serves to highlight the sadness of people landing themselves in A&E with seizures as a result of an ill-judged detox they thought was good for them. I run myself a bath and pour in bright orange granules of Total Detox Bath Potion, the colour of childrens sweets. Made by a company called Ancient Wisdom, they are apparently infused with potent aromatic oils and cost 4.74 a pack. They give the water a yellowish tinge, like someone has peed in it. I settle back and wait for the poisons to dissipate from my body. Nothing happens.

Still, its a nice bath.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2jDBMwv

from Dishing the dirt on detox | Jay Rayner