#and the connotations there make me super uncomfortable :

[bylerphobic]

okay listen, anyone can headcanon mike as whatever you want, really!! but can we please stop saying that one sexuality would be “easier” to explain/understand than the other… i know what you’re trying to say but it really rubs me the wrong way implying that one sexuality would ‘make more sense’ when they can all be explained perfectly fine — that’s exactly why people headcanon him differently.

[sirfrogsworth]

I really don't want to talk about this anymore.

I've had way too many strangers making assumptions about my genitals which I find deeply uncomfortable. They can't seem to fathom that I care about body shaming as a whole and do not pick and choose which parts of the body I think are okay to be shamed. Maybe people are unaware that I have been fat shamed all my life and so maybe I'm sensitive to any body part being judged. I've talked about boobs and stretch marks and labia and penises and have a pretty consistent history of discussing body shaming in general.

If you want to know the actual details about my junk... well... you're gonna have to woo me. I'm talking a proper romancing. I want poetry and flowers and dinner at a super fancy restaurant like The Pasta House.

Moving on...

I've been informed that "small dick energy" is just a metaphor and anyone who felt shame or hurt feelings by this expression should just explain this to their feelings and they will then magically go away.

Because feelings are always logical and able to understand subtle nuance.

Imagine it was "fat person energy." It's a metaphor to describe people like Trump or Sarah Huckabee Sanders or Chris Christie or Roseanne. People who are loud and insufferable. It's not meant to insult the good fat people.

Doesn't really work, does it?

If you get frustrated when conservatives use mental gymnastics to justify something, please consider avoiding this tactic yourself.

This expression is rooted in body shaming. It relies on the idea that "small penis = bad or insecure." Just seeing the words "small penis" in a negative connotation is plenty to trigger dysmorphic feelings.

Again, Greta's response was what it needed to be. It was the exception that proves the rule. Andrew Tate deserved that and more. But the torrent of body shaming that followed that epic comeback was depressing.

I'm not saying anyone is a bad person. Sometimes people dig in and try to make excuses because they don't want to be considered the bad guy. But I am not saying anyone is bad here. I'm just trying to improve awareness.

And I understand it sucks to lose such an effective insult from the arsenal. Trying to shoo away asshole cis men online is exhausting and it is nice to have something easy and reliable to say to get them to fuck off. Giving up an effective tool like that can be frustrating. But sometimes doing the right thing sucks.

I'll leave you with this image someone added to the original post. I think this sums everything up pretty well.

[baddygab-bi]

yep yep yep to all your spec about eddie. i've been saying, since 6B where they dragged up his *magical* relationship with shannon, and made his grief over her the reason he's scared to date - they really just erased all the queer awakening potential from his s5 therapy arc and that tense awkward break up with Ana where she touched him and he looked like a statue. but no, it wasn't because he was a repressed queer man uncomfortable with his gf, the show basically said it's just because he was still upset about shannon, his dead WIFE, a WOMAN, who was his high school sweetheart and first and ONLY love, etc etc. and then bringing up shannon again in 7x01, unnecessarily mentioning him having sex with her, and the platonic vibes of his and buck's conversation?? i was like ohhh they're making him STRAIGHT straight. then add on everything you've mentioned - the masculine hobbies and activities with tommy, eddie as the oblivious straight cockblocker, marisol all sexied up with legs out and cleavage out - it seems blindingly obvious where this is going...

Like, I don’t think him considering Shannon as magic was necessarily super straight, I think if they hadn’t rushed the season 6 ending and actually explored his feelings about that magic and what it all meant, that it could’ve very naturally moved into a Demi realization plot. I also think his grief is a part of why he doesn’t date, it feels connected to the ready-made family thing with Ana, but they could’ve dug deeper.

Instead since the end of the season was rushed to wrap it all up with a bow, they had Eddie totally ignore multiple episodes where he’s been dealing with all of this, plus everything Bobby said, and they erased everything they had been building up. It really felt like it was leading somewhere and it just didn’t reach. Bobby saying not to go looking and Eddie literally saying “exactly what I’ve been looking for,” will always drive me crazy.

Mentioning Shanon in 7x01 was important to set up her appearance (which I love), but yeah, the weird inclusion of Buck talking about how they had sex was weird. It wasn’t like that was something the audience had to know if they didn’t already. Eddie basically had it covered with “the first girl I dated” which can more or less imply that she was the first girl he slept with. But the way they had it so pronounced was very in your face.

The manly hobbies, yeah… I want to clarify in case anyone thinks I think only “dudes” can like those things. I don’t, they’re obviously for anyone. But the way that the show treats a person who likes those things is specifically what I’m looking at. The way Buck made the comparisons between how Eddie and Tommy both like those things, meanwhile the show made it explicitly clear that Tommy is queer and Eddie is talking about his girlfriend and is seen with her wearing a (for this show) revealing outfit. The hobbies themselves don’t make someone more or less masculine, but the way they treat someone who likes those hobbies because they know the connotations, does.

[everlastiingiimmortals]

>HSR Multimuse & OC Roleplay Blog. >Indie. >Selective/Mutuals-only. >Crossover/OC/Duplicate friendly. >written by Willow | Soleil. (she/they | 21+ | EST)

An RP blog ft. Jing Yuan, Dr. Ratio, and Stelle from Honkai Star Rail, as well as multiple fandom and fandomless OCs. Please read the rules before following; dark content is present on this blog!

Personal Blogs DNI!

Note: Semi-hiatus until May 6. [x]

Mobile links below (desktop links available on the sidebar of the blog):

> Roster | Verses | Headcanons | Memes | Tags | Relations

Wishlist | Crush Check | Dynamics Interest | Perm. Inbox Call

>Drafts: 8 | Inbox: 9 | Queue: 0

Rules under the cut for easy viewing: [Updated 03.28.2024 (m/d/y)]

Intro.

Howdy, I’m Willow or Soleil! You'll see that I use Tabasa from END ROLL as my faceclaim. As I'm a full-time undergrad student, my activity is irregular, but I tend to stay fairly present even if it's just as a lurker. My Discord is available for chatting, but I will only give it out to trusted individuals.

1. VERY Crossover and OC friendly! Duplicates are welcome, too!

2. I am mutuals only, though I’m fairly lax on who I follow/follow back. The reason for me being mutuals only is that I heavily favor accessibility; if I can’t read your carrd/theme, I will softblock or hardblock you to avoid interaction. If I don’t see our rules and preferences meshing well, I’ll hardblock to avoid any conflict! Feel free to softblock/hardblock me as well if that’s the case on your end too, but if there’s a specific issue you have please come talk to me! I’m super friendly, I promise, and I’d prefer to come to a mutual agreement!

3. Please take a look at each muses’s bio for more details on their ship status! I am very open to multiship and shipping in general; so long as our muses have chemistry, I’ll likely vibe. That being said, some muses might have restrictions based on their character or sexuality, so it’s best to look at each muse. Please also take a look at the relations tab for other restrictions, such as potential exclusives. 3a. I’m open to having you as a main if we RP a lot or talk extensively about our muses OOC! Exclusives are rare and more circumstantial based on friendship or dynamic; I do not default to limiting my ships. Of course, I respect others' rules on exclusivity. 3b. I am a dark/toxic dynamic enthusiast, and shipping to me does not necessarily connote a healthy romance for that reason. I will of course require discussions for that kind of thing, but note that I'm absolutely not opposed to the occasional dead dove, or even (noncanon) drabbles, asks, or threads where my muses are killed or worse in those scenarios.

4. I openly encourage and am very comfortable with duplicates. I am also very willing to have duplicates interact, particularly for Stelle! I think there's a lot of very fun potential to be explored there. Due to the inherent multiversal nature of HSR, as a general rule my HSR muses are aware of the multiverse (except Gepard, because of Belobog's isolation from the galaxies) and will react accordingly. You will not see any (again, bar Gepard) surprised by another version of themself. 4a. Please check this post for more information.

5. I will not answer asks if I feel that they interfere with plot. Obviously, I’m not inclined to answer asks that make me uncomfortable. This includes Magic Anons. I will not participate in these, so please do not send them to me.

6. I will also not pressure myself to answer every single ask I receive or commit to every starter. I delete asks, a lot, especially if they're spontaneous/unprompted. This is nothing against you if I don’t respond to your ask; my motivation can be rather fleeting and unpredictable, and though I love unprompted asks I sometimes struggle to maintain the motivation to answer them. I will absolutely let you know if I feel I need to drop a thread. 6a. If you don’t specify which muse you want me to answer for in an ask, I may not answer it.

7. Mun is of age, HOWEVER I will not be roleplaying anything explicitly smut-related on Tumblr (though sexual HC memes might be shared for my adult muses depending on my mood). Some things might get a little spicy, but at most I will fade to black. Gore and other disturbing scenarios are more than okay. Angst is tasty. That being said, see the next rule:

8. I’ll do my best to tag potentially triggering topics, but if something comes up that I haven’t tagged properly, do let me know! I tag as #trigger tw and #trigger cw.

9. Respect my muses’ power. I do play some very powerful characters, including gods. I will not metagame nor godmod, and all I ask is that you do the same; that being said, pushing my muses can have consequences, especially for the most dangerous ones.

10. Communication is key! Please talk to me for anything, whether it be potential plots, current ones, headcanons, active threads, etc etc. If you have questions or concerns, please please reach out.

11. As a selective blog, I won’t be roleplaying with non-roleplay/personal blogs! Sorry! If you’re a personal blog and you don’t have an RP dedicated sideblog, please do not interact with my posts. I will block personal blogs that reblog my content on sight.

[wc-confessions]

I adore warrior cats roleplay. I spend hours each week writing about my edgy little cats doing edgy little things and I don't regret a moment of it. Roleplay might be looked down upon especially by those who's first impression of it was through r/creepyasterisks, but it's been a great way for me to explore and improve my own storytelling capabilities.

Admittedly using the term 'roleplay' makes me uncomfortable because of the bad connotations surrounding it, so I've just been saying 'collaborative writing' instead. It makes it slightly easier and less embarrassing to explain lmao.

I can go on for hours and hours about this topic, but if I did this submission would be longer than a super edition. As a side note: this was written between midnight and 1 AM- if this is incohesive that's probably why.

[bakugames-fr]

maybe a left field message but i appreciate the comment you left on the 'which species has the highest weeb population' since as another asian person it is. awkward, to hear people treat 'weeb' as like 'person who's into anime stuff' rather than 'actually offensive person'. also your comment about wind flight thank you too it bothers me how superficial the aesthetic of it is

Hey no worries about it! Yeah, kinda wild that weaboo/weeb lost their bad connotations recently. They're already not good terms in their original japanese usage, so them turning into "people who like anime" is super weird (especially because thats just called a fan. An anime fan. Lol)

And yeaaah ive talked about this before but wind flight always felt like a ver superficial "asia flight (but only east asia!!!) with a mix of chinese, japanese and korean stuff with no sense into it. Mostly japanese though lol.

It makes me uncomfortable and i wish the community was more aware of it because they often double down on it with art and headcanons and sometimes its just racism 🤷

[dctrreids]

------SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog !

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER.

if we're talking CM canon ships i was very much a fan of maeve and reid, even if i'm not fond of how it ended up ( let them be happy? would it kill you to not fridge maeve and to let spence be happy for more than 12 seconds???? ) but beyond that there's no other "true canon" ships i'm really fond of for spence. he's a bit niche and doesn't really need romance to develop imo.

if we're talking blog canon, obviously it's gloria (@medicbled). setting my bias aside for frigga as a writer, gloria is an excellent compliment to spence and helps bring him out of his shell in an organic way without sacrificing the true nature of his character for the ship itself. plus he really loves her. a lot. it's cute.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE.

here's the thing, spence's age ranges anywhere from 22-38 on the blog, depending on the season. (22/23 being pre-show, then following the seasons.) i'd say i'm safely not wildly into anyone whose like 3 years younger than spence at any given time, and i'm really not interested in writing ships with spence pre-bau (so nothing 22/23.) i tend to operate with spence at like 30-35 primarily, so i'd say nobody below like 27?

that being said ... age gaps are subjective to the ages of the people involved. i don't want to write 38 y/o spence with a 25 y/o, that's ick to me. likewise, i don't want to write 28 y/o spence with a 45 y/o muse. i know these gaps exist irl but i'm just not interested in exploring them. his characterization suggest spence is attracted to women more around his own age-range.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW.

so reid isn't ... the most sexually experienced person. i've spoken that he's, canon ... maybe had sex twice in his life. it's not hard to fluster him, but he's also not very good with social cues. it depends entirely on the mood and context of the thread because sometimes something as simple as kissing can be nsfw depending on the exposition and entire scene being set. but a typical rule of thumb for me is ... if they're getting naked and the connotation is sexual, it's probably good to consider it nsfw. but you can also be pretty sexual with your clothes on so ... context matters. especially with reid.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING.

yes and no. all i really want is to have chemistry between muses && writing chemistry with the mun. we don't need to be besties irl ( and honestly these days i'm really wary becoming pals with people ooc ) but if our writing styles don't match or if i have a hard time staying mentally in the moment when i reply to you, it's going to be hard for me to ship with your muse. and that's nothing against anyone or a commentary on anyone's writing ... sometimes people's writing styles just don't jive and that's ok.

but also our muses have to have some sort of chemistry. especially someone like reid, who requires a bit of an emotional connection ( a lot of an emotional connection ) before he'll consider anything romantic or sexual.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH.

aside from gloria (@medicbled) i definitely ship him with evie's sharon (@thirt13n). we've chatted some about the dynamic there and it's super cute + they riff well off of one-another. she's very intelligent and patient with him and he certainly gets flustered around her in non-work settings because of that. but his comfort with and around her is pretty flawless because of her dedication to work and intelligence.

i'd also say mari's melissa (@stingslikeabee). melissa is a very shamelessly sensual woman who is very in-touch with her sexuality and it's a nice contrast to reid. she absolutely flabbergasts him and tongue-ties him which is cute, and it puts a fun spin on the conventional dynamics between man/woman relationships.

and that's the fun part with ships with reid, i think, is that he tends to take a more passive ( but not submissive ) role in the relationship because of his social anxieties, or generally being socially unaware, but is also very shamelessly in tune with feeling and expressing his emotions. so it's fun to see how he plays off of these absolutely strong and fierce women because they bring out a more confident spencer.

that being said, i am ... always open to more ships. i love them, and ships are a very fun way to explore nuances and developments in a muse.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU.

for the sake of being clear that we're on the same page, i'd say yes. there's a strong chance i can see a ship happening / working in some fashion. if there's chemistry between muses, if the plot makes sense, and if there's equal interest then i'm probably down to try it out.

that being said, i'm not picky. as stated above - if i can see it happening, i'm willing to try it out.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS.

i obsess over ships i know have substantial growth for both parties and have equal interest from the writing partner. i think the reason i feature frigga so much ( aside from the fact that i love her ) is that she fundamentally understands spence in a way where i trust her to assume actions / thoughts about him because she knows his character and motivations. so it's really easy to hyperfocus them because i trust frigga, her writing, and know gloria relatively well ( or so i'd like to think .)

otherwise, while ships are really fun ways to develop a muse, it's not necessary. as a whole i'd say i'm ship more-or-less, but it's situational.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP.

absolutely.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM.

again, per CM canon i'm a big fan of reid and maeve. they were really sweet, and i think they really complimented one-another. i wish we got to see more of it.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU.

send in a meme. ask. express interest in spencer as a muse and character and interest in developing YOUR muse with me in that vein. i'm not gonna hold you - while spence is an expert at reading behavior and intention, i am not. just tell me if you feel it and we can go from there.

[scarsmood]

Re: Aro from trauma. Yeah personally I think that might be partially the case for me?

(uh cw heavy stuff?)

First- Im a (presumed) walk-in headmate due to me suddenly showing up without the in-hindsight noticeable formation symptoms and lack of being present in any way previous to when I showed up alongside strong exomemories. Im also otherkin. In my previous life as my kintype 'romance' as humans understand it wasnt a concept my species had, so many romantic gestures and feelings considered part of romance are neither natural nor something I would consider a gesture to do at a committed partner (with sex connotations) which is the closest to the idea my species really had.

Id say this is why I started quiro and moved to aro over time, rather than it being a 'just hadnt realized it yet' thing. My orientation DID change over time imo.

So the trauma. Pre-me being in the system, our parents had an extremely unhappy relationship for a good number of years (mutual horrible behavior to each other) that culminated our kidnapping and a long court battle. Both parents proceeded to do a Really Terrible job finding other partners and to this day cannot have a functioning relationship to save their lives. This honestly isnt what we felt caused me to be aro, I wasnt even there for most of seriously bad shite and its honestly quite tertiary to the other stuff going on.

The stuff I WAS there for that I feel made me full aro and understand romance enough to not be attracted at all is a couple friends who throughout middle and high school were super aggressive in pursuing us romantically/sexually, wont go into detail, but it was profoundly Terrible.

And like the core of it was for sure romantic interest, and that interest from others has always been very negative and never meant good things for us. It ALWAYS meant we were going to get our boundaries crossed over it and scolded for complaining and teased about having all these people interested in us like it was a good thing and not a life ruining fucking nightmare.

Most of the others in the system are not aro(and those that are consider their orientation to not be from this), even our former host of the time isnt aro, but I am.

I didnt understand romance before I got here, and now seeing the horseshit going on, I for sure dont want it and know whatever that love is I certainly dont feel it. It actively makes me uncomfortable when people express it at me now.

So yeah I guess that counts as aro through trauma?

Big mood bro, after seeing what my parents define as love i jump between not wanting to be affectionate or affection is not what 'real' love is. Real love is violence in some form.

[crowsandmurder]

When people use gifs or icons from the scene in Palpatine’s office when Anakin becomes Vader, it makes me uncomfortable.

Yes, Hayden looks hot AS FUCK, but the facial expressions he has and just the submitting makes me super uncomfortable. It’s literally the result of a decade of grooming and putting lies in his head, and it is so upsetting, even if it’s a scene as a Darth Vader fan, I waited years to see.

I think it’s meant to make people uncomfortable, so when I see anyone put it in a sexual connotation, I’m just really disgusted.

I don’t disgust easy, mind you. I’m a Sons of Anarchy, American Horror Story fan, whose multimuse rp blog primarily has the more violent characters.  Force chokes are my thing with Vader.

Sexual content doesn’t put me off either, so it’s not like I’m telling people not to write sexual things. 

[anagramtransitory]

7. They have to see my heart. There is so much connotation around a lack of love being a quality of the world of material objects. Like it’s something inherent in them. I have an article bookmarked to read on Aeon called something like “where did the glamor go?” which I think is about the way we’ve stopped making objects beautiful and detailed and built mainly to impress in any age it’s seen, and less to function. I think we can have detailed packaging and detailed architecture all we want, but it won’t be the same, it’ll be commissioned or contest won nightly prized rights to design decorative stairwells for free or almost free, it’ll be mass produced detail in numbers unseen in the early detail-retaining 1900s and all the years of human history before that. Caves had more love on their walls than buildings do now, or anything does now. It’s just graffiti now that is what the glamor was. Normally people are trained not to see past the functioning or “functioning level”. I want them to see past it with me. People have photos of the people they love on the walls. Not sure if that’ll ever be my thing. If it is, they’ll be alongside the dominant things on my walls I love, which is examples of ideas and their inventors. Of course, I’ll only have fancy looking examples on the walls, if I can find any, and cruder in execution/less “clear in meaning in first look”/more fragile ones saved in binders. I don’t want to ever get nervous and take any of it down. I want to confidently be like “here’s my heart”. To be like “here’s my mind, on my own walls, my own fridge, in my own bathroom”. Without the shame or fear I feel now. Again, I’ll have to do it as clearly as possible, to bring the poster board plus working model to their actual house to their actual doorstep with a stand to set it up on. To tell them, look, I am smart, I am kind, there are lots of cool things you didn’t know about and hadn’t seen and now you do and now you have, because you came over to where I live, and you can’t find any of it online super easily and immediately, if at all, and if you can, it won’t be cared about the way I act like it should be cared about, won’t look as relevant as I clearly act like it is to daily life. It’s like a free class in what to care about. It’s like a free endless museum plus museum presenter living there and ready to explain passionately and in detail everything you see there. As the museum guide will have their own private collection/private museum, called their home, where they shower and eat chips. I want people to go home and want to care more about things and feeling like they genuinely value money less or in the same way as they did before, after leaving my living space. Not caring about the things I care about. Feeling encouraged and willing and ready to care, openly, about anything. Anything being whatever they find that they let themselves really care about, even a little. People are capable of caring about things. They’ve just been trained not to. To not leave their personality lying around in bad taste. Pretty much all homes I go into I feel unsafe and uncomfortable because I don’t feel like there’s personality lying around anywhere that isn’t for show and is from the heart and isn’t numbed in feeling inside people’s hearts/minds before being put on display. I’m like “what the fuck is going on.” And “whose house is this.” And “who are you, you whom I know, is this your house, why does it not look like a place where you would live, as a personality, by choice?” And “why the fuck do people conform?” In short, I’m more uncomfortable and pressured to conform in bad ways, not less, at least in some ways. If and when I soon devote all my remaining time and energy to functioning normally, people will assume I can run out of love, and have none for and during normal functioning banal tasks. When all I have to do is put love into ideas that govern and execute banal awful tiring tasks, and I’m all good. In the idea, for example, that I have always been my own parent, a terrible parent, however, I..

[alasmydearatlas]

how i am feeling rn:

honestly like a woman

negative connotation

like i feel like we’re falling a little into the nag wife manchild husband trope

like were on that slope

Not totally there ofc

but that’s just what its giving

And its frustrating bc its a problem i thought we were better than but were not

And i feel like i’m not the problem this time

For once

But idk how to not be the problem

How do you hold someone else accountable for somth and not be a wicked bitch ab it

I just want more effort

From him

and effective effort like think it through

maturity

considering your actions and how they impact ppl around you

like i feel like consideration is beat into girls from birth

like oh honey don’t be too loud

and boys are just boys

and dismissed like oh hehe they’re just like that

ARGGGG woman dating a man thing

and its not just that

like its also us and our experiences

mental labor fs fs

its so frustrating waiting for someone to catch up all the time and its also frustrating to have to bite your tongue and accommodate all the time

and I’ve planned most of our recent dates and activities and etc

and ik school is stressful and change is stressful

but i’m not just a ball you can drop when things get hard

and also like take me serious when i say things

when i want to go home, i do

its hard to get up when someone is sleepy next to you

and you don’t care ab being late but i do

And when you aren’t helpful in me getting up it i feel super unsupportive and like i’m fighting my sleepies and your sleepies

so i’m doing twice the work for no reason

and when i want to go home or go to bed like please be supportive of that

sleep is hard for me! and that’s not smth u understand

i can’t just nap

i feel like fucking shit when i don’t sleep well

and then i’m resentful

also don’t come to the gym if you’re on angry mode

either get it to fucking gether

or go solo

gym together is fun

do demon shit on your own time where its not gonna ruin my mood

it is so damn jarring and then i just don’t want to be there and i don’t want to be there with you and i just check out and want to go home as soon as possible

i’m sick of fighting in the gym its so cringe

How i want things to go:

I want you to show more effort in like mature adult things and like considerate effort

not just like oh here i tried

like try to do it right

this isn’t completion credit

i just want to feel like you care enough about me and respect me enough to put in genuine effort

i want you to work on some of your habits now bc it takes a long time to change them

look up the science idc - its like roughly two months

you know how to cook and i want you to also be capable of making major food group meals

demonstrated independence

- look up recipes

- cleaning initiative

- cleaning stove and kitchen is great! more of that

- yes ik ur a boy but i’m not lowering my standards that’s just shitty for me, also maybe examine why boys aren’t as clean (bc its not expected, its not demonstrated, societal attitudes towards who’s job it is to do stuff)

- i want to to feel like equal partnership

- look for housing: proactive in developing criteria and getting familiar with the market and how things go

- just bc ur scared of your roommates doesn’t mean you wait days to do your dishes, like a little bit of face your uncomfortable-ness

- i want moving in together to be an upgrade for me (and for u but it already is)

[brooklynislandgirl]

But Beth, what if someone called YOU daddy?

"In mos' connotations of dat word...uhm...ew. Firs'ly I'm ill-equipped an' even if I change myself for someone, t' make dem happy, I don' t'ink I wanna end up goin' dere, on top of everyt'ing else. Second, it would make me feel real uncomfortable. An' let's be real. Everyt'ing is a story, yeah? An dat word reserved f' people who are...say...main characters, or super-important second'ry ones. An' we bo'd know...I'm an honourable mention a' best. An' 'also appearing'. I don' have da value or importance required, an' I dunno I even wanna. Not any more."

At her core, Beth is self-contained in her own shell. Layers built up over years so that no one else could touch her in those vulnerable places, the ones that have been mishandled so egregiously that they've left damaged bruises on her psyche. Even the question feels like she's being made fun of, on a subject that turns her stomach. "Besides, dere can only be one an' we all know dat's Andy."

[creaturebehavior]

i’m like a little confused about people thinking the term “guys” when referring to a group of people isn’t gender neutral and hasn’t been gender neutral for like past like 30 years?

is this just me?? it’s valid if being referred to with a certain word makes you uncomfortable, but i honest to god do feel confused by the general consensus being that “guys” used in that context is still a gendered term. on an individual basis makes more sense to me. but it’s like generally accepted that people feel “guys” in ref to a group of ppl of multiple genders is still a gendered term

maybe this is literally just my own personal experience. to me, as long as i’ve been alive “guys” when referring to a mixed group of people has had no gender connotations. i did grow up in california in the 90s and early 2000s and i am genderqueer myself, both things that could be influencing this opinion

this is not the same and excuse me if this is offensive to say but it gives me the same energy as people who insist on saying stuff like “herstory” instead of “history” and “oh my goddess” instead of “oh my god” and replacing every “man” used in language with the word “woman” and other stuff like that. Maybe i’m being sexist as hell rn idek. Power to women who do that stuff, i’m not trying to shit on my foremothers and i’m not trying to shit on queer people either. i’m just exploring some of my own thoughts and perspectives around this. and i don’t connect with that energy

idk i guess that stuff feels a little unimportant to focus on at times although one could argue how powerful language is, and i do understand using language that feels empowering to you. like i do support that.

i just donno. i’ve never heard someone say “hey guys!” and been like oh my god, i’m being hate crimed

idek

and this is also coming from someone who was super super super sensitive through my early exploration with gender in my teen years, where like almost any gendered word felt like it was assaulting me because i was just so confused and overwhelmed. Not once did i hear someone say “what’s up guys” and been like “that’s actually hurting my feelings”

just my own opinion, like i said if being called guys hurts your feelings that’s valid. experiencing gender can be hella uncomfortable. i get that.

just some thoughts

[comfortable-floof]

I wonder if the fact that I kind of, withhold happiness from myself in so many aspects in life even to the point of the little things like the fact that I prefer he/they to she/her, that it bleeds into transphobia and general hatred in the way I see other people because,

I do actually notice I get irrationally annoyed when people correct me on the pronoun usage when referring to other people, in the "If I have to deal with this shit one mistake shouldn't warrant this kind of bitching, urgh." and... I really fucking hate that??? Like that initial thought is so nasty and unkind and, I don't want that to be me. I don't want to let my experiences of bigotry from other people shape me into a nasty person. I'm scared that it will. this is me being uncomfortably honest with myself, I think the fact that I tolerate so much stepping over of me, that especially to other enbies, I tend to me so much more nastier in my own head because it feels unfair that I (even though this is kind of self inflicted) never get acceptance so why should I hand it to others?

I feel like, even on the level of just for other people, my denial of the self isn't healthy. it's made me act and feel so much more nastier and I hate it. I think I might go ask a couple more friends to refrain from she/her and feminine coded language and lean more towards masc/neutral ones.

I'm also just really, really, really afraid, because the way I generally am and the things I enjoy are all fem coded, and there's a fair chunk of internalised misogyny here too, I feel like I don't '''deserve''' to be seen as an enby. like the things like fashion, makeup, etc. are all gender neutral, and I believe that, but I don't get why I feel like since I'm AFAB, me liking makeup and fashion makes me inherently more 'woman' than anything else but if someone who is AMAB likes the same, they don't have that, almost corrupting connotation.  I mean it makes sense why I'm so, like built-in terrified, I literally live in a place where I am in a lot of potential danger if not at the least ridicule if the wrong person found out. And my gender expression is far outside the binary which, the majority of people who don't understand, and a lot of times even if they are queer they still don't understand. I constantly joke about being 'still cis tho', and I think it's a big chunk of self hatred and internalised transphobia because I reaaally do not want to admit who I am to myself. I don't want me to be happy. With obvious regards to safety, I want to be more brave. Honest to fuck I don't want to be friends with people I'm not comfortable disclosing my gender identity to, because I would never tolerate that kind of treatment for my other trans friends, like no person is a friend of mine if they would discriminate against my other friends. and goddamnit I need to stand for that.  Today I woke up less depressed than I have in a while, and it does feel a little bit like opening the window and curtains to let a bit of sunshine in after I've been in depression cave for a while, and it feels good. I have clarity again and in a way, I can breathe again. and I'm willing to be kind to myself again. I have this dream, sort of, or well since I'm very very very stuck in my living situation which is, less than fun and very much not the indie coming of age movie with girl in red-esque music playing in the background with orange glowing streetlights casting a soft hue on two teenagers (one being me) talking about life and shit and being profound or whatever like since none of that is happening right now I spend a lot of my time imagining scenes like that... I have this dream of going to a pride parade with all of my queer friends, the funny gay people in my phone and some of the, albeit very very few but still, ones I've met in real life,I have a binder on and no one is judging me, I'm probably wearing an unbuttoned button up over it, and a pretty skirt, I've grown out my hair super long and I don't give a fuck what other people say about it, and I've braided yellow, white, black, and purple ribbons into both of them, wednesday addams style but waaayy longer, I'm talking hip length braids- and we're screaming lyrics to queer af songs and my stomach hurts like I've done ab exercises for a millenia straight because I'm laughing that hard, and my face and jaw is equally sore from smiling.

I'm, really, really, fucking depressed and suicidal a lot of the time but, I hope I get to live out the scenes in my head at least once, and at least a few of them, and that I finally think to myself:

"I'm. Fucking. Alive."

And there's the unspoken sentence of:

"And this feels fucking euphoric, and this is what living is, it wasn't the miserable, bleak, lie my depression tells me, nor what my tormenters prophesised, life is cackling with my friends until my stomach hurts, life is cuddles with the ones I love, life is reading good books when it's raining outside, life is worth it."

[dip-the-stick]

Feel free to ignore!! I just saw your post I wanted to reply (on anon bc i'm shy) I've seen the gay panic response used in like, relation to crimes, but I have been seeing it used like that less and less. There's been pushes in some areas to make it so it's not considered an acceptable defense under any circumstances, so hopefully one day that usage of the term will just be piece of history. For years though, I've far more frequently heard it used in a positive light. Like specifically, that moment of panic when you realize you have queer feelings for someone, whether it's a crush or just seeing someone so attractive you start fumbling your words. Like, at least 95% of the times I've heard the phrase in my entire life has been this sort of context, both online and offline. I think it's a matter of like People want to reclaim what's been used against them, and turn something that's ugly into something beautiful And there are people who'll only know it in those more positive context and not realize some people still remember are still uncomfortable with it Those who have the right to want to reclaim it have every right But it's still reasonable that some people are uncomfortable with it and those feelings are valid too And that always gets a little complicated because people can feel very differently and very strongly about it but neither side is wrong about it I think those who have taken it to be something positive and meaningful to them are okay to do so, but if they encounter someone who communicates that they personally aren't comfortable with it, they don't have to stop using the term but should be mindful around those who would prefer not to hear it I know some slurs I technically have the right to reclaim but I still am uncomfortable with them, but I also don't blame those in my community who want to reclaim them despite my own discomfort It feels like it's a similar situation If that makes any sense?

( this is abt this post btw)

Yes! this is mostly the sort of thing i was thinking of before making that post tbh. for most of my life i had no idea where the term originated and had only heard its positive connotation, so i would use it whenever i saw a pretty girl at the grocery store and suddenly i didnt know how to form words

but bc i recently learned the original meaning and how people have used it to defend themselves for killing queer people in the past, i just started thinking abt it and whether or not other ppl knew about it. its fucking horrible that its still legal some places i did not know that idk why i thought things would be better now so that sucks.

anyways, i think its rlly great that younger queers or just people who weren't aware of it while it was at its height dont really have the harmful connotation in their minds when they use the term. im glad that they can use it as a way to express their excitement (and overall dorky fluffy feelings) at being attracted to ppl in a queer way! i was just a bit shocked when i learned the original meaning bc its so completely different from the positive version of it.

overall, obviously its super important to be informed about queer history (there's a phrase that went along side gay panic called trans panic btw. christ alive) but it also makes me super happy that we are able to take this stuff back and use it for ourselves to be happy and expressive about our identities while dismantling the anti-queer sentiments they held in the past.

[dxringred]

Not to be rude but their username is a reference to a show that they were talking about at the time they changed it. No one really calls them daddy only really hellmo or (jokingly) father figure, them calling us their kids is a joke and they have made it clear that they'd stop doing it to someone if it made them uncomfortable. It really isn't a good thing to even somewhat hint that someones like that and it can be really damaging to the person accused. Not to mention even though there are some minors in the server alot of the members are 18+

"It really isn't a good thing to even somewhat hint that someones like that"

at least try to read; i said twice in the other ask that it was not an accusation, and that we didn't actually think anything was going on, but there is nothing wrong with being concerned about the well-being of minors.

regardless of what their username is a reference is to, there is no denying the sexual connotations that the term "daddy" has acquired in recent years, and it's an inappropriate thing to have your user as, especially when you can change it per server, and especially when you're already calling people your kids for whatever weird reason. the so-called "time" has passed, just change it back; or, better yet, in a server with minors they have weird influence over, don't change it to something that can be taken sexually at all?

"they have made it clear that they'd stop doing it to someone if it made them uncomfortable."

i know people in the server, and it did/does make them uncomfortable, so it obviously isn't clear enough. how about don't automatically call everyone your kid to begin with, especially if they're actually an adult? imo, it reads as super infantilizing and dismissive and reeks of some weird superiority. (which, given their continued behavior on both discord and tumblr, does not surprise me.)

"even though there are some minors in the server alot of the members are 18+"

amazing yellow flag. if you're going to have a mixed-age discord, at least try and behave normally around the minors. instead you've got at least somewhat of an echo chamber that encourages slagging off people behind their back, and then tries to disguise it as innocent "impulsive" venting. (for the record, it's not impulsive if they have a history of insulting that person for no reason, and if you really want it to be private (which the internet never is) there are these great things called journals. hell, pull up wordpad.) not to mention potentially inciting anon hate, because i highly doubt those anons that i received right after hellmo blew up at me were some weird coincidence lmao. if you're trying to run a safe, minor-friendly discord, those vents should've been removed from the very start, and hellmo should've been advised against slagging off specific people, especially if they weren't even going to be truthful about what happened. but were they? no.

if all you're doing is playing roblox and spamming memes, fine, literally nobody has a problem with that, although even then, watch what content you're exposing the minors to and how you're behaving around them. if most of the members are 18+ like you seem to imply, i'd even consider just not allowing minors at all because those numbers seem skewed in favor of people that have more influence, and minors are subsequently more likely to take the their word at face value because they (whether consciously or not) want validation. (see: people almost egging on hellmo's first ""vent"" about me in their discord, which they completely misconstrued the events of to fit their narrative, but did anybody question that? no, of course not and that's how we got here to begin with. point made, i hope.)