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#and the sad part is that /I/ am the bad guy here
sjywrites · 3 days
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Hii can I request Sophia x reader academic rivals? 🥺 u can do whatever u want w the plot pretty much please and thank u so much <3 :)
༊*·˚ ACADEMIC RIVALS LOVERS?
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𝓢ophia 𝓛aforteza x 𝓖n!reader. (no pronouns used). 𝓖enre. fluff, angst if you squint 𝓢ypnosis. our two favourite academic rivals have a lil fight, but the situation turns bad, and people realize their feelings. 𝓦𝓒 . 824 𝓒𝓦 . mentions of being hospitalised (sophia), a little angsty!
𝓝ote! this is a little messy since I wrote it during one of my breaks, but please lmk if you want like a part two cuz I really liked this plot!
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This is purely fiction and is not meant to interpret how the idols act in real life!
,, not proofread + english is not my first language ! ೃ⁀➷
At this point it didn’t even matter if you were better than everyone, you just had to be better than her. It started off very simple, both of you wanted to be better than everyone, academically that is. Eagerly waiting to get tests back and see who got a higher score, a smug grin on one's face when they got a better result than the other. No harm in that right? Wrong, that’s what started all of this.
Sophia walked towards me with her head held high, her uniform as neat as ever and her hair styled in a way making her look almost angelic. Wait, what? “What were your results?” She said, slamming her paper on top of my desk, I shook out of my daydreaming to answer her. “96.” I said while looking down in my maths book, trying to solve an equation but still focusing on what she would respond. She looks away and a teasing smirk spreads on her lips, and moves the finger that covered her results, 97. “Guess I’m just better than you huh?” She said proudly, staring down at me “Just because you got one point more than me doesn’t mean you’re better than me.” I said, pouting a little at her accusation.
Lately I’ve been feeling kind of… weird? Even if Sophia gets a higher score than me, I can’t find it in me to give a fuck. “Well, you’ve been slacking off a lot lately, I’ve gotten higher scores than you on the last four tests. So, I think that makes it obvious who's smarter!” Sophia states like it was the most obvious answer to what I said. Staring at her for a moment, I reply. “I've been busy okay, not everyone has that much free time to spend on studying, and you're talented in general, no wonder you get high scores” She looks shocked at my statement, then she smirks a little, “Did you just admit that I'm smart?” She looked proud in some way or another, “Not what I meant Sophia, but whatever floats your boat.” I grab my things from the desk and walk outside the classroom to my locker, a little frustrated at the whole situation. I did miss her response,
“I study that much so you won't think I'm stupid.”
A week goes by, no Sophia in sight. She missed two assignments, she's usually here every day. Even if she's sick, which I don't get why she does, but still. Did something happen to her? Was it something I did?
“You've been zoning out for the past like, three periods, what is going on with you today?” Lara, my best friend asks. “Do you know where Sophia is?” I ask, not really thinking before I ask. “Why do you want to know, don't you guys like, hate each other?” She looks at me with a very questionable look, suspecting something I cannot grasp, “Yes? No? I don't know Lara, but do you know where she is?” I say, a little confused and concerned. She looks at me with sad eyes before replying, “Y/N, Sophia got really sick out of nowhere, I heard she's at the hospital.” My eyes blew wide at the shocking news, why didn't she tell me? No, why would she do that? We're not even friends.
Am I really doing this? I think to myself as I open the hospital doors and stumble up to the kind-looking man in the lobby. I strike up a casual conversation with him as he guides me to a room, I thank him quickly before he scurries away.
There in the little window on the door I see her, Sophia's sitting down on the bed. Her hair is a mess and her clothes look ridiculous, it looks like she hasn't slept for a few days too. I gently open the door and her gaze falls upon me, it's easier to see her face now. She looks tired, really tired. “Hey…” I say, she looks away from me and cuddles up in her sitting position. “What are you doing here?” she tries to sound annoyed, but it just comes out in a tired huff. “I heard what happened, I… was worried about you. I brought some notes from the classes you missed.” She looks shocked at my confession, she relaxes her posture and her gaze becomes soft. “Thank you… I really appreciate it.” She smiles a little as she grabs the papers I handed her, our hands touching softly.
I look at her, really look at her. For the first time actually having time to admire how pretty she looks, how perfect her flaws are. “I just came to give you that… so if you don't need anything else, I'll go.” I turn around to walk away, grabbing the door knob and turning it around, “Wait! Will you… please stay with me a little longer, I need it.
I need you.”
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this is so messy I'm sorrrrryyyy!! I wanted to post something today at least :((
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Falling in Reverse (Dazai Osamu x Reader) Part Two
I meant to write more of this like...two years ago? My bad. I hope you enjoy despite that! <3 -
This is fine.
You kept on thinking it as you sat there, trying to pay attention.
You told yourself to stop it. Stop nitpicking, finding fault with every little thing and refusing to live in the moment for a solitary fucking second. You could feel your fingers twitching with desperation to check your messages, and nearly sit on your hands in an effort to stop yourself. You poured your focus into acting normal instead, nodding in the right places, making encouraging noises, keeping your facial expression open and inviting instead of sliding into boredom or irritation…
It's a fucking lot of work.
The guy – his name was Ken-something, he said what it was when you sat down but the bar was kind of loud and the chance to get him to repeat it somehow slipped past you – was good-looking enough but he wasn’t especially interesting to talk to, and he kept looking around the bar like he was expecting something. He asked the basic questions, but you got the feeling he wasn’t really listening when you answered. The only time he did seem intrigued was when you mentioned your job. You kept it vague, since the Armed Detective Agency wasn’t popular with some people, and he’d lost interest when you clarified it was just a desk job.
“So you don’t get to get out much?” he asked, with a lopsided smirk like he’d made some hilarious sexual innuendo you hadn’t got yet.
“Oh, you know, I run errands sometimes.” You replied, pretending to think hard about the response. It's actually true – Ranpo had you bringing him so many snacks it’s like he thought you were the goddamn Easter Bunny, yet you could never quite bring yourself to say ‘no’ to him. “Thrilling stuff, I know.”
 “That’s too bad. Maybe you need someone to show you some thrills, you know?”
A smirk accompanied that, and you dutifully waited for the butterflies in your stomach, or a flicker of intrigue, or something, but your ardour remained stubbornly cool. Frustration bubbled inside you, and you took a big gulp of your drink. It was like you were jamming keys you knew fit into the ignition of a car, but every time you turned it, the engine would not turn on, no matter how much you tried to will it to life.
But going home would feel like quitting. Like admitting defeat. Like you're really saying: I'm so obsessed with my co-worker who is both terrible and far too good for me that I can't give anyone else a chance. Sad, huh?
“Excuse me for a sec,” you said instead, flashing a smile you didn’t feel, rising to your feet. “I’ll be right back.”
He waved a hand in acknowledgement, and you could tell he was watching you as you headed for the ladies’ room, the heat of it making you strangely uneasy, knowing his eyes were going down your body, cataloguing. For sure he was looking at your ass in the dress.
The ladies’ room was blessedly quiet, and you splashed some water on your face, staring down your reflection, hands braced either side of the sink.
What am I doing here? You thought, and sighed.
It’s just a lacklustre date. You’ve gone on them before and usually put no further thought into them once you took off your makeup and outfit and slipped into bed. There are millions of people in the world, the odds of being instantly compatible with someone seemed like a rare enough thing not to take too personally.
But looking at yourself in your red dress, your hair washed and makeup still nice (if getting slightly smudgy – most of your lipgloss had already transferred to the rim of your glass), you didn’t feel like some kind of sexy badass like you’d been going for.
You just felt kind of stupid, to be honest.
You really thought you did something, didn’t you? A nasty inner voice sneered at you. You thought this was like a movie where you could put on a slutty dress, have an amazing date with a cute guy and magically cure your shitty life? You thought this would fix anything?
You hated that the bitchy voice was right.
“You stupid bitch.” You muttered out loud, your reflection mouthing the words back at you, and you shook your head and exited the toilets before somebody walked in on the stranger talking to herself.
Perhaps the drinks are hitting you a little harder than you thought, because a vague fuzz of light-headedness descended on you as you walked towards your booth, and you decided that you liked it. It took the edge of your self-consciousness and made you forget how this wasn’t the kind of dress you usually wore, or that you were going on a stupid date to get over your feelings for a co-worker who was literally a hazard to one’s health.
But then, just as you got back to your seat, younearly tripped over yourself in shock when you got to the booth and the back of the seated man’s head was definitely not the man you’d come into the bar with.
You’d know those fluffy brown locks anywhere.
“Dazai, what the fuck?!“ you said, then remembered to lower your voice into a hiss, anger coming to you in a sharp burst, like opening a bottle that’s been shaken up first. “You can’t just come in here and- “
Dazai turned his head and your ranting abruptly halted. His face was devoid of its usual playful smirk and the sparkle of mischief in his eyes, eyes that looked brown but when the light hit them just right, they got this golden sheen that looked just like honey…
You were distracted for a second, and Dazai’s voice cut through the fog.
“I don’t have time to explain, we have to move now.”
Something in his voice froze your anger – it had dropped an octave from his usual light-hearted, teasing tone he often adopted to annoy Kunikida or trick Atsushi into doing something for him. No, Dazai wasn’t playing around, and your stomach dropped when you caught the look on his face.
More questions teemed on your tongue, but he was standing up, up, out of the seat and away from the little booth, grabbing your arm as he rushed by. Your half-finished drink lay abandoned and unpaid for – you knew Dazai had a habit of dine and dashing and apparently he was putting it to good use now.
He dragged you through the kitchen, so quickly that the yells of surprise from the cooks were already far behind you as he opened the door to the back of the bar and you’d stepped into the cool outside air. Dazai didn’t pause in his stride or let go of your arm and you realised to your chagrin that you’d left your jacket behind in the booth. You could only hope some kind soul would hand it in to the place to hold onto, though they might not feel like returning it since you’d just disappeared without paying for your drink.
“Dazai, slow down-" you said, doing your damndest to keep up with him – you’re not exactly dressed for running. “What’s going on?”
“Your date isn’t just your average Joe, I’m afraid.” Dazai replied, grimly, apparently deciding that telling you something was more practical than refusing to go into detail and risking a mutiny. “I’m not sure where you found this guy, but he’s there to try and pump information about the Armed Detective Agency from you.”
Your stomach twisted unpleasantly – you barely had time to register the chilly sting of disappointment, like cool air from a fast moving vehicle whipping by you.
“What the fuck – how could you possibly know that?” you spluttered, before another, unwelcome possibility struck you. “Were you… following me?!”
“Of course I was.” He said, in a voice that sounded a bit more like his usual one – that annoying, teasy, I-know-something-you-don’t-know tone that usually got him slapped upside the head by Kunikida.
Your indignant squawk was cut off when he wrenched at your arm and suddenly, you’d stopped running and were enveloped in cool darkness. He’d found some kind of little snicket that somebody passing at a reasonable pace would probably have missed. You’re not surprised that Dazai was well-acquainted with hidden away little spots like that.
“Dazai-" you said again, frustrated and slightly out of breath – why was he stopping?
“Ssh.” He said.
In the distance you could hear the screeching of a car – no, more than one car – and an even more distant wailing of sirens. His arms caged you in and he was staring over his shoulder intently, like a fox that has heard the baying of the hounds.
“No doubt the Port Mafia’s goons are out looking for their little friend now.” He muttered, more to himself than you. It was like he’d forgotten you were there. “It’s for the best if this doesn’t get traced back to the Armed Detective Agency.”
Your mouth felt dry suddenly, noting the calculating look in Dazai’s eyes and unease crawled up your back. It’s so easy to forget that Dazai used to be one of them, that he knew the way they think and that he’s capable of switching back into that mode with frightening ease. Just because you’re co-workers didn’t mean you knew much about him, and you’re being made painfully aware of that fact right now.
“Dazai…just what did you do?” you asked, and you couldn’t hide the faint hitch in your voice.
Did he drag the guy outside and kill him? Was that why the police sirens were coming closer? If you pulled back the front of his coat right now, would his immaculate white shirt be splattered with still-wet blood? Does he think you told the guy something valuable? You didn’t think Dazai would hurt you – but you couldn’t be completely, one-hundred percent sure.
What did you really know about Osamu Dazai?
“Don’t worry. The Port Mafia don’t take kindly when you mess with one of their own,” Dazai said, seemingly able to discern your mounting fears with a glance, perhaps the look in your eyes or the tremor when you spoke gave you away. “He’ll live, but he’ll think twice before he tries using someone from the Agency like that.”
Thank god for that. You think – not that you would have lost too much sleep over one ex-Port Mafia member, but the thought of being stuck in a tiny space with a man who had just recently murdered someone wasn’t exactly the kind of exciting activity you’d hoped for tonight.
“So, we should get out of here,” you said, swallowing. “While they’re still swarming the bar.”
“Not yet. They’ll be looking for people running for public transport.” Dazai replied, his voice so certain that you didn’t question him further – why would you? This was all new territory for you, whereas Dazai had been doing this kind of thing since he was fifteen.
“So then what-?”
But you both fell silent as you heard something else – voices, drawing closer. Dazai swore softly under his breath, and he leaned in a little closer to you like he was trying to shield you from view with his body. You could feel yourself starting to sweat from the intensity of it, fighting back a grimace as you felt a trickle of it sliding down the length of your upper arm. Fuck.
"I'm sorry," Dazai said, after a beat, when the voices had drawn so close that you swore any second - any second! – they were going to find you and maybe kill you, your heart pounding so loudly in your ears.
 And Dazai truly sounded regretful - he really was a good actor.
 “I'm going to have to kiss you."
He didn't give you pause to process his words, which came to you as if from far away, floating to your ears, because the next thing you knew, long slender fingers were cupping your jaw, turning your face and his mouth was sliding over yours.
Most first kisses are awkward, fumbling affairs. Getting used to someone else's rhythm, trying not to do something awkward and mood-killing like clash teeth or bite the other person's tongue can slow things down, cause a few seconds where the spell is broken.
Kissing Dazai - or rather, being kissed by him, was nothing like that.
He kissed you like he'd been given a guide. Like he knew you, intrinsically and deeply, and knew the inner workings of your mind and mouth better than you did. One hand stayed cradling your jaw, the other one slid down, and his long, elegant fingers wrapped around your waist, pulling you in until you were pressed flush against him. It didn’t escape your notice that his crotch was also touching you and you were decidedly grateful his mouth was firmly joined with yours, or you might have actually whimpered out loud.
How often had you dreamed of this? Your nights had been full of sordid little fantasies of Dazai, of dropping your guard and confessing to him, and then, in your mind, he’d smile and tell you he’d always known, before he kissed you. Or depending on how raunchy you were feeling, other times you’d picture him just sweeping everything off your desk in a dramatic gesture and fucking you right then and there on the desk?
And all of it had seemed so stupid and pathetic than you’d be stinging with shame after your late-night fantasies reached their climax, lusting so hard over someone who probably barely noticed you were present in the room. Falling for Dazai’s looks was one thing, but you saw what he was like on a day-to-day basis, how he was lazy and unprofessional and sometimes kind of an asshole. But cold logic would not touch your yearning.
And now, in this cold, cramped little forgotten pocket of Yokohama, Dazai was putting your daydreams to shame. Your lips tingled as if you’d kissed something with a high voltage, heat surging along your bloodstream. Dazai’s touch was gentle but firm and the way he tilted his head, angling yours at his preference, sent a thrill chasing down your spine.
The voices were now right across from you, within arm’s reach, but Dazai felt you stiffen in fear and simply deepened the kiss, holding you tightly to him.
“Nevermind. Nobody’s here ‘cept some lovebirds.” A man’s rough voice said and it sounded so close, you could practically smell him, but you forced yourself to tune him out like someone deep in the throes of passion would, to sink into the sensation of Dazai’s hands on you, his tongue slipping into your mouth, the pleasant scent of him, sort of like freshly-cut wood and whisky.
“Come on, let’s go this way, they probably took the subway.”
The footsteps go the opposite direction, you hear one of the Port Mafia grunts swearing as he walks through a puddle, and the fear pricking you recedes. Dazai had one eye open, scanning behind you, before he finally breaks the kiss and pulled back. You felt bereft, but you were also seized by the abrupt urge to laugh at the sparkly smudge of gloss on the corner of his mouth.
“Nicely done,” Dazai remarked, his eyes cutting down at you, and his lips curved in a smirk. “Almost like it was real.”
“Yeah,” you replied, trying to sound ironic, but you sounded far too breathy to be sufficiently aloof. “Almost.”
Dazai’s hand had not left your waist yet and he stepped out of the hiding place, pulling you after him.
“Stay close to me,” he instructed, his voice husky. “We’re not out of danger yet.”
You nodded and wiped your mouth on the back of the wrist.
With Dazai, danger was a given. You just hoped you’d come out of it in one piece – in more ways than one. But your voice was steady as you answered;
“Then let’s go.”
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katyspersonal · 1 year
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I think I didn't send you an ask yet so here !
10, 13, and 24 for now !! :D
(Asks from this ( x ) meme)
10. Your favorite ost?
Oh, this is definitely Living Failures! It was the very first Bloodborne OC I've ever heard though. A friend that played From's games shared it with me and back then I didn't pick instant interest in the game (unlike how when I've heard Micolash's theme...), but the music was AMAZING. It was the coolest videogame soundtrack I've heard in years, and I sat until 5 AM that night listening to that track on repeat. Because it got me so hyped I've lost all sleep, that's why!!! Still remains my favorite track, just... absolutely unrivaled buildup, beautiful instruments, and of course, AAAAAAAVEEEEE AAAAVEEEEE STEEEEELAAAAAAR. When I was obsessed with that track back then I of course could not appreciate the lore significance and how well in conveyed the absolute reverence, anguish, yearning and desperation for salvation from the 'stars', so now I love it even more. It is one of the best tracks in the game, it didn't need to be attached to an epic battle to be epic.
13. A cut content you would have wanted in the game?
God, how this is even a question? Of course, OF COURSE, what else it can be other than...... ARCHIBALD'S [EXAGERRATED LIP-LICKING]-
sdfhfhsghfsd okay okay but seriously now xD There is... a lot of stuff. Almost all cut content of Bloodborne is removed in such an elegant fashion that you can sort of still discover how probable it is it upon vague clues... as if it wasn't removed, but hidden (Rom gurl what you doin THIS time). The perfect example is Annalise's unborn baby whose mention was patched out very early after launch, but you can still conclude it from how both Annalise and Arianna lose melanin in their hair and from that bloody trail leading to Annalise's under skirt area.
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(patched out and only saved via screenshots)
However, it is for THIS reason why a lot of cut content of Bloodborne is BETTER stay cut - because it creates a more challenging lore riddle! Isn't it more fun to deduce a lore bit using your own observation and analytical skills, instead of just being told what happened exactly? From Annalise's unborn baby to 'if there is Flora would not there be a counterpart named Fauna?', things better stay untouched and create a mystery!
But there is a different kind of cut content as well, and I am talking about…
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( x )
I owe this discovery to @val-of-the-north , and also I believe @nymerias-wrath confirmed this detail (she tends to know absolutely EVERYTHING about cut or patched out content so I'd recommend asking her for any clarification you ever need). It sounds like such a good idea! I presume the lake refers to the one Rom is guarding, and again, a bird chirped to me that you'd end up in the upside-down Byrgenwerth. (I really need to gather more solid sources now that I am talking about it...) I still adopt it in my ideas and make it so that Moonside Lake used to be the portal into the rest of Byrgenwerth (and that's how Edgar found Micolash), but Micolash 'closed' it when Edgar had dick brain moment and spilled him the truth just because he was a simp -_- And sent some of the Shadows he had serving him as Mergo's "dad" as a bonus loool.
Not to mention I fucking L O V E Micolash's cut dialogue soooooOOOOOOO fucking MUCH. Just… everything about it. I am, in fact, not all too happy about how we only meet him in the "end" of his way, already fully insane and gone, when cut dialogue suggests he STILL has a struggle left within him, between his human side and 'madman that only cares for higher plane' side (Adeline moment). It was just… so tragic. Like… I get that after everything player been through, meeting him SHOULD have been a comic relief moment so the player recharges and still has emotional energy to care about plot's culmination… There was just no room for the 'betrayal sequence' I suppose? …except there was, and I think the devs could have elaborated Nightmare of Mensis more, make us see Micolash as a friend NPC that we go back to during Nightmare questlines, someone that grows on us to the point we see him as Doll v.2 (maybe he could even level us up too, or give us special benefits in exchange of Insight). So, instead of recharging player emotionally with hilarity (or annoyance, depends on how you feel towards Micolash's "battle"), we could have been recharged by the fake sense of peace and comfort, see him as someone interested in freeing Mergo just as much… and then HAHA LOOSER GOTCHAAAAAA. The only good thing about the decision to make him more plain is that 'traitor' is the fact that betrayal sequence is THE ultimate imba of Tumblr sexymen, and if he did betray us, he'd have even STRONGER grasp on the simps. o_o hoooo boy… There'd be NO survivors....
24. Share a fond memories.
I presume this must refer to fandomry? Because every single moment of playing Bloodborne is already a good memory. xD Hmmm... I already mentioned that time when I got an anon ask on my 'formal' blog, saying 'can we get random alfred hcs'? I felt extremely honoured that someone wanted ME to share the ideas about a character they liked, especially when back then I was just an awkward asocial lore person in the fandom and didn't pose myself as a writer upon request, or just a writer. It is because I cherish that moment of trust so much I avoid saying unflattering things about Alfred despite having grievances with the character. x) It was just such a good memory that I never get tired of bringing it back!
I also have a very good memory of a certain day. That day I was able to catch my coworker stealing money from the cash register (!) and attempting to frame me (!!!), using nothing but my amazing detective skills, so I was already pretty hyped. I was ranting to Val about it in a VC over phone on my way home. And imagine how much more joy and unhinged happiness I felt, when during VC I opened Tumblr and saw the ask celebrating that 'finally good Doll takes are picking up and people are giving her a justice instead of seeing her as gross sexual object and then claiming to love her'. I am paraphrasing but you must recall that one because you clearly got an ask from the same person xD Just... one "victory" layered upon another, and I've felt such intense mania and CHEER, that the raw power of emotions made that day a blinding, bright spot somewhere in the record of my life. This is what happens to a mf when they barely ever feel real happiness and just pretend to look alive. Maybe it was not a big deal in retrospective, but it made me feel DRUNK in happiness. ...so drunk that my response was not very nice and more like 'HAHAHAHA MFKING LOOOOOSERS WHO IS THE BEST LORE PERSON NOW HUH FUCK YOU ALL I AM FUCKIN BALLIN'' that I still feel a bit guilty about ^^"" But it was one of my best memories nonetheless.
Out of a bit more personal stuff, I'd say that you and @heraldofcrow are a very fond memory, and also @jarognieva . You guys sticked with me through everything, even when I started to genuinely spiral to my worst and fully embraced the prospect of you all being sick of me, you still chose to stay mutuals. Seeing you grow from a shy user to someone with very elaborate ideas and a lot of passion was an absolute delight. And I've got to see how much your art improved over time, and how Crow started to draw. I am just glad that I got to at least see you guys get better and make more friends and improve your skills.... (and seeing how much I rotted Crow's brain with overly specific lore bits when I saw her insane theory ramblings about Vilebloods AHAHAHAHAHA.) Like... just watching you guys was a great experience, getting to talk with you and to exchange the ideas is even more than I could have asked for, but I am very thankful.
Also, of course, my version of Rom getting FANART. I cried pathetic unloved kid happy tears all three times I received it. Two drawings were done by Saintmic and another one was done by someone else who is, eh, a NOT fond memory now, really.
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Though honestly, Saintmic was a very good fandom memory as well. I once posted a very creepy, weird remark on Micolash as a character and how he'd corrupt people with his cultist brainwashing..... and after some time I got a reblog from him with even WORSE (/pos) take. I was so surprised to see someone having an idea more disturbing than mine. And it happened later too, when I proposed the idea of Micolash not harming fertile females specifically because of his gross obsession with women and birth, and he added that in fact it was more likely that he just used women for rituals (especially their menstrual blood) when men were just cattle. I am dead serious. The creativity and lore just... increased so much as we were exchanging ideas, my lore got so much better, I actually owe my ultra super fantastic and elaborate portrayal of Micolash to him as inspiration and someone giving ideas and honestly knowing Micolash's very soul. Honestly, you can play a game of 'guess how much of my Micolash lore I owe that guy' and you will lose because you probably not estimate big enough. Ya'll just don't know what it feels like to be a weirdo, to feel avoided and shunned even by fellow Micolash simps for "disturbing" and "not sexy" ideas, to question whether I am just spoiling a beloved character with my monkey brain and then meet someone who just hits a blunt and goes all: 'I smell weakness'.
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Basically I've found my Stitch yeah. When you get 'the creepy kid' side-effect in the autism drawbacks fortune wheel, you learn to cherish such things </3
Thank you for the ask!!!
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skrunksthatwunk · 8 months
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you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.
you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.
so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.
you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.
you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.
you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.
you know you broke the rule by interacting.
but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.
#before i maybe get yelled at:#1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even#though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism#2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them#3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have#encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in#nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally#about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person.#4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces#and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too.#5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided#tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla#6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things.#7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl#i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know?#8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this#nyarla dni#<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks#adding this wayy later but a crucial part of the experience i Almost talked about it this but never explicitly did was that like#the measures ppl take to 'defend against men' are often deeply transmisogynistic as well. obviously#and when i see that it hurts me too. not that it hits me the same way when strangers assume im a trans woman and hate me for it#but it doesn't feel good to see transphobia at all. i focused on how that relates to other kinds of transphobia#namely transandrophobia here but like. it's all connected. lesbain separatism + exclusionism relies on both and they aren't always#distinct experiences. ime. anyway trans ppl i love all of you forever#i just thought me writing “*turns to the camera* and trans women exp this too.' wouldve been too much even for this post#i figured the audience would like. know that. and so far it hasn't been an issue. i have not been yelled at thanks guys 🫶
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jefferythejelly · 7 months
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*long, deep, belabored sigh*
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snekdood · 12 days
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Your impulse to believe every last bad thing people say about a guy and then if that guy is victimized by those people or the people who spread the rumors you dont even try to look into if thats even the case, you just assume hes bad by default-- yeah thats incredibly unfair to guys who are victims of abuse.
#so here i am having to heal my trauma on my own bc people think im a bad person. cool.#and then people would use me as an argument point 'this is why men who use guys who are victims of abuse as an argument need#to actually do something to show they care' she said so smugly. knowing those guys wont give that guy any care no matter how#correct she is about sussing them out on their bullshit.#so instead im being given 0 options at all bc both men and women want to use me as an argument jumping off point rather than see#me as a real human right here right now whos suffering and in need of aid.#you're arguing about giving me a place to stay right in front of me. and at the end of the day neither of you actually want to help#create a space for me to heal anyways. im just another talking point to you. left in the dust. left to try to figure out how to heal#myself alone all over again. something I never expected to have to do in feminist spaces- spaces I intentionally entered to get healing#about ANOTHER abuse that happened to be as a kid- though if im honest I never really found healing in such spaces its all kinda just#hating on men for the most part- so truly like the rest of my entire shit life i've had to learn how to heal my trauma all alone. which isn#great nor ideal since on my own im bound to pick up worse coping mechanisms than if I actually got help from others. and lord knows#I have *motions to the scars on my arms* but yknow you'd rather use me as a talking point rather than be what I thought you were-#the last resort I had to maybe actually finally get some actual fucking help with my trauma.#vent#to say im disappointed is an understatement. i'm more just sad at this point. i'm tired of being promised better and then its shit.
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mariyekos · 5 months
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One day I'm going to finish my FFXVI mega essay, but for now I think my thoughts on the game can be summarized like this:
When making FFXVI, the developers sure knew what they wanted to do, and by god were they going to do it.
Were they also going to do other things that would make those first thing better? Were they going to do other things that make a good game overall? Ehhhhh...they were going to do what they wanted to do, and invest all their time and effort into that, so surely that would be enough! Surely!
#i saw someone call FFXVI the most disappointing 8/10 game they'd ever played#and i agree 100%#it started off SO STRONG#and then. and then!!!#ffxvi#my overall rating is in fact an 8 out of 10. maybe 8.5. definitely not a 9#i enjoyed many parts of it but by god were the lows low#some of the highs were very high too! i don't regret buying or playing the game! i'm glad i did#but yeah most disappointing 8/10 i ever played is an apt description#my opinion might be slightly impacted by my uh. mental state at the time#2023 was not a good year for me. for several months ffxvi was the only thing i had to look forward to in life#and that's really sad but that was just the place i was in. life was absolutely miserable#i played the demo and was over the moon. good things were coming! it was way better than i anticipated!#then i played the game and while i enjoyed a lot of it a lot was just tedious in a bad way#so many repeated plotlines and so much whacking you over the head with the points they wanted to make#like come on guys i am not an idiot do you really need to tell me this exact thing 18 different times#and have me go out of my way to get. reward which is just a slightly different flavor of that same thing 18 times#that's what i mean by them doing a few things very well. by god were they going to do them. and only them#graphics? beautiful. i had to stop at several points bc i was stunned by the quality.#but after you've seen a few forests and some fallen ruins it gets boring when that's it. the world was just so small and empty#yes i do support the rise up against your oppressor plotlines because that is a good thing to do but that was like. 90% of the story#(including sidequests) and it just kind of got old. why did i just spend 3 hours straight doing sidequests that gave me nothing new#made some of the sidequests feel pointless. especially because the rewards in this game sucked#uh oh i'm getting too negative so i'll end it here#ffxvi was a good game but it is not one of my faves. glad i played it but idk when i'll play it again.#erurandomness
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dirt-str1der · 2 years
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I literally had a dream about reading the worst fan fiction like fucking ever kiryu was just randomly a yandere and nishiki was trying his best to survive also kiryu turned into a dragon (deez nuts) halfway and let nishiki kill him for being a bad boy but he was so upset about having to kill his bro that he just lay in the corpse for a bit and thats when i decided to stop reading and i literally opened tumblr in my dream to complain about how bad it was like the writing went back and forth from being terrible to incredible and i found myself enjoying some parts and despising others. I skipped the first few chapters so i had to tab back out and read the summary like why are they in a beach resort and the summary didnt just tell me nothing but it was also double spaced between each line and very fucking irritating and while reading it i kept thinking this is extremely ooc and boring like they would not fucking say that
#Listen to my problems#i cant stress enough that i dont even ship them why did i read a sex fic about kiryu and nishikiyamer#like i believe they are the bestest of friends forever and ever and like as hotblooded young men growing up together they must have tried a#few sex moves on each other at least once but i dont think they see each other as romantic prospects. like unlike majima and saejima#(seajima) who are literally together all the time and will never travel anywhere without the other unless its to prison. kiryu and nishiki#have this understanding that eventually theyll have to part ways and find their own path. while they would always remain in each others#hearts and thoughts they knew that they couldnt be holding hands forever and besides they have to focus on getting kazama to the top not#each other !! so nishiki was very happy that kiryu was getting his own family soon even if it meant that kiryu was getting ‘ahead’ of him#and kiryu who can accept consequences for himself but no one else was just like um ... well nishiki please give me the gun and take yumi#your sister needs you or whatever <3 i am definitely expendble and prison life is for me yayy yayyyy i love going to jail so nobody can talk#to me ever again. i keep asking myself how difficult it would have been for kiryu to just pop in by the hospital every now and then to check#in on nishikis sister. its not like he cant take care of her. its not like he doesnt know how to earn money. he just straight up thinks that#nishiki is better than him so he should be the one to get locked up ... because nishiki can take care of yumi and i straigh up forgot his si#sisters name and reina and kazama without him. and nishikis like damn i wish kiryu was here so bad (looks at his wwkd bracelet) hm think ill#go insane. i literally forgot what my original point was but that fic was so bad guys im so glad it doesnt exist#in it kiryu was trying his best to keep nishiki in one place and he kept being very. well kiryu was just kiryu but he kept apologising#saying things like you cant leave yet ... and looking at him with his big sad eyes and nishiki would always be like f-fine ... (he doesnt#like it here) also nishiki was one hell of a princess type and had a nurse costume on at some point which means the yakuza server nishiki#propoganda is working on me. very weird. love the part when kiryu was randomly a big dragon because he utterly filled the hallways of their#little beach shack and his scales were nice and soft and he was lovely. little guy
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nomairuins · 2 months
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back to sdv.
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somefisher · 4 months
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Im gonna throw up im sick of feeling awful all the time
#dont want this to become a vent accoutn but i dont like venting on servers 😭#anyway i cant tell whats wrong with me. i dont even know if this is even depression i think i just really hate myself guys#because ive been depressed my whole life and i know what that feels like? maybe its a different kind. i got depression v2.0#but what do i even do about hating myself . like how do i even fix that.#i get mad at myself for not doing anything and then i actually accomplish something and im like. you didnt do it well enough? hello#i think one of my biggest current problems is that i dont like anything. like nothing is enjoyable to me anymore enough to commit to it#but i dont have anything else to do right now so im just sitting around wasting away and starting things but not finishing them#like what am i supposed to do. im not unhappy all the time but nothing is fun im just existing#i was joking but maybe I actually did unlock depression 2#which is another problem because none of my mental illnesses have ever been treated in a helpful way in my entire life#and i have some kind of if not multiple undiagnosed neurodivergences definitely. but im scared to try and get them diagnosed#because the last time i did i got told it was anxiety (IT WAS NOT I DONT HAVE ANXIETY ANYMORE AND I STILL HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS)#and i cant even get anything done because i need help to do anything!#i feel so useless i cant do anything on my own because i just dont care enough id rather just like. sit here and die i guess#like im not even close to being s******* i know what thats like and its so much worse. thats part of why i feel so bad im not even that SAD#i just dont care. i think ssris fucked up my brain can i be real#oughh whatever. rant over back to playing pokemon#vent#talking#can i get an emotion. please one spare emotion#reading all of this back i truly think i just need to be pit on stimulants. but how do i get there i dont even have a psych rn...
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runningwithscizzorz · 5 months
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(1)Learn the rules before you break them + Gather proper references
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(2) Understand what you want to break and how
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(3) Can't do it? Find someone who can
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(4) It's going to look really bad for a while
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(5) Have fun with it!
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(1) -Yes, I am that kind of artist. Yet, not in the conventional way. I encourage people to go in guns blazing when it comes to drawing something new, then coming out analyzing what they know, and what they need to learn more of right away.
-Here, I broke down the anatomical pieces of Nour and Narinder's face with the same labels so you guys can understand this weird invisible pattern that I follow in my work. Doing this with any animal you're attempting to draw greatly improves your line confidence when drawing different face shapes. Also understanding the biological function for why animals look a certain way helps you keep consistency.
(3) Time to throw any artistic guilt you have for heavily referencing people's art OUT THE WINDOW and start ANALYZING PEOPLE'S WORK YOU WANT TO BE LIKE✨ I've always done this, having a reference of someone else's amazing work right next to my own drawing so I can try and understand how they make their magic work! No shame, no embarrassment, nada. Pure, unadulterated will and spite that I would be just as good as the artist who made me so motivated and happy with their work! I couldn't figure out how to make Nour's face both sheep-like, and humanly expressive, so I looked at a LOT of Zootopia and old Disney art for help!
(2) With how I draw narilamb, I'm still working on it (as you can see) but I wanted to break Narinder's face to be fluffier and slimmer, while Nour's face would be shorter and flatter. If you look at it for too long, it's absolutely going to look weird, in the way that if you look at Anna from Frozen for too long she starts looking really weird. The anatomy isn't meant to be correct or consistent, it's meant to convey the emotion and energy I want out of the characters in that moment. If you're able to properly get that across, then you don't need to think about how broken something looks, as long as your eye is happy enough to trick your brain into thinking what you're seeing is canny.
(4) Yeah, I hate this part too. It's going to look like shit at first. I can't even look at my art from a few months ago when I was figuring out their designs... God, so fucking ugly. If it weren't for the shittiness of those drawings, I would have never gotten here! Wading through the "trust the process" stage always really sucks, but it's absolutely worth the relief of when you finally get something to look right.
(5) Art is work, yes. It's stressful, it's long, it's straining, its draining, it's exclaiming, blah blah blah. But, I try to keep my art FUN. If I find my artwork becoming slow as I depressingly drag my pen over my tablet, I'm failing. You MUST keep spirit and life in your work. The spirit of emptiness or the life of sadness can have a very meaningful place in art, but those can only exist with keeping work light, easy, and fun! If you're stressing how a specific thing looks or how you can't get something to look right no matter what, FUCK IT. Draw something to bring the flavor back in your work! I'm kind of rambling, but just, HAVE FUN!✨️ Be messy, scream, laugh, slash canvases, throw paint, smash sculptures, tear apart books, GO CRAZY
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tinycoffeeroom · 5 months
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just friends | lando norris
face claim: none ♡
request: here !
part 2 !
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📍 sass cafe, monaco
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👤 bffstagram, landonorris liked by bffstagram, landonorris and 59,203 others
y/nstagram dj lando came out of retirement for the night🤠
landonorris 😎 only for you xx ↳ y/nstagram i'm honoured mr norris 🫡 ↳ fan i love my besties who don't know they're my besties
bffstagram bro my tummy hurts ↳ y/nstagram i'm coming round with coffee and croissants you big baby ↳ bffstagram i love my gf ♥️ y/nstagram
fan i wanna party with y/nlando so BAD dude ↳ y/nstagram if you ever find yourself in monaco hmu xx
user ew flipping off the camera so ladylike ↳ y/nstagram idk your mum quite likes my fingers 🫶 ↳ fan ☠️☠️☠️ i love her
fan bffstagram is so hot, i need her ↳ bffstagram thank u babycakes 💗
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liked by bffstagram, lilymhe and 69,928 others
y/nstagram rainy days in monaco 🌧️
lilymhe i deserve financial compensation for the emotional turmoil tfios sent me through ↳ y/nstagram don't,,, sat and sobbed my eyes out at the last 100 pages
fan how to lose a guy in 10 days... tfios... who hurt you y/n? ↳ y/nstagram hahahah nothing like that! i promise i'm all good!
bffstagram i still have a headache from crying at that book, next time i choose what we're reading for book club ↳ y/nstagram BORINGGGGG who doesn't love doomed romance? ↳ fan you guys have a book club? thats so cute 😭 ↳ y/nstagram yep! it's me, bff, kika, lily and flavy!! ↳ alexandrasaintmleux and no one thought to invite me?? ↳ y/nstagram come join us babe!! ❤️
landonorris wow, didn't take you for a sappy romance reader ↳ y/nstagram there's a lot you don't know about me comment deleted ↳ y/nstagram tfios can make even the iciest bitch cry (it's me, i'm the icy bitch)
landonorris also answer ur damn texts ↳ y/nstagram sorry idk how to read suddenly ↳ fan The Lando Norris gets aired, there's hope for the rest of the bitchless community ↳ landonorris dude...
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liked by fan, fan and 103,028 others
f1gossip Eagle eyed Sass Cafe goers managed to capture Lando Norris getting cosy with an unknown blonde girl. Rumoured girlfriend Y/N L/N was nowhere to be seen. Trouble in paradise for the young duo?
fan delete this rn y'all are fucking up my y/nlando chances
fan rumoured girlfriend?? i thought they were just friends ↳ fan that's what they both say, but they're always very close whenever they've been seen out together ↳ fan i'm pretty sure there was like a super grainy photo of them kissing but you can't really tell if it's either of them ↳ fan hey how about we don't speculate on people's love lives???
fan y/n has been absent from social media for like a month too ... its so over for us y/nlando'ers
fan her instagram is girlstagram! from what i could see before she went private, she posted a selfie of her and lando and they looked very close ↳ fan damn the fbi needs to hire you or smth
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liked by bffstagram, estebanocon and 65,928 others
y/nstagram thuggin it out (i've listened to your best american girl 34 times today i think bffstagram is about to smother me with a pillow)
fan um who hurt my bestie ???
fan whoever hurt y/n must die at the hand of my sword
fan lando norris i am in your walls FIX THIS
bffstagram i would never smother you xx also come out of ur room it is boring as FUCK out here ↳ y/nstagram damn cant a girl go through it in peace? ↳ bffstagram absolutely not, i have wine and nibbles get out here NEOOWWW or i'm breaking into ur room ↳ y/nstagram the door is open babygirl
fan ik this is a parasocial friendship but are you ok y/n? ☹️ we love you ↳ y/nstagram oh sweetie ❤️ i'll be fine, sometimes you just gotta be a lil sad y'know? thank you for asking, ily ❤️ ↳ fan ily, take care of yourself 🥺 ♥️ y/nstagram
estebanocon chérie, i don't know what's wrong but i hope you're ok! lets grab coffee soon, flavy misses you! ☺️ ↳ y/nstagram thank u este 🫶🥺 text me when you're free! tell flavy i love her 💗 ↳ flavy.barla i love you too 💕 ♥️ y/nstagram
fan no lando like, i have one (1) fear ↳ fan do not even speak that into the universe
fan after f1gossips post, i have my speculations ↳ fan dude, if he fumbled y/n he really will be lando nowins
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liked by flavy.barla, francisca.c.gomes and 10 others
y/npriv absolutely not thuggin it out lads
flavy.barla chouchou (sweetheart) 💔 that's it, me and este are taking you out for lunch tomorrow ↳ y/nstagram nooo don't let me ruin your date time!! ↳ flavy.barla nope it's already done! este's booked that little restaurant you like on pl. du casino ↳ y/nstagram le salon rose?? oh i could do a little weep, i love you guys 😭 ↳ flavy.barla we love you so so much y/n 💕
lilymhe i will hit him with my golf clubs ↳ y/nstagram i haven't even mentioned anyone? ↳ lilymhe we all know their name rhymes with bando borris ↳ y/nstagram wdym we all know? who else knows? ↳ flavy.barla ... me ↳ alexandrasaintmleux ^ ↳ francisca.c.gomes ^ ↳ lilynzeimer ^ ↳ heidiberger_ ^ ↳ carmenmmundt ^ ↳ kellypiquet ^ ↳ iamrebeccad ^ ↳ y/nstagram ok ok i get it damn
kellypiquet want me to ask max to rear end him with his race car? ↳ y/nstagram as if max would ever be behind lando ↳ kellypiquet 😳😳😳 ↳ y/nstagram i may l*ve him but i am also a realist ↳ y/nstagram ok no i do feel bad
y/nstagram uploaded to their story
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[caption 1: love of my life, apple of my eye, the thelma to my louise 💖 @/flavy.barla] [caption 2: damn stole my girl from right in front of me 😔 @/estebanocon @/flavy.barla]
seen by landonorris, flavy.barla and 67,394 others
flavy.barla mon ange (my angel), you know you're the only one for me 💕 ↳ y/nstagram tell that to your giant of a boyfriend :(
estebanocon i'm not a giant 😠 ↳ y/nstagram stop reading flavy's messages weirdo ↳ y/nstagram but on a real note, thank you for dinner, i really needed it ↳ estebanocon of course, i'm not sure what lando's done but we hate seeing you so sad ↳ y/nstagram who said it had anything to do with lando? ↳ estebanocon whenever me and flavy have an argument she pulls out the mitski lyrics, i know the signs ↳ y/nstagram that's different, you and flavy are dating ↳ estebanocon and you and lando aren't???? ↳ y/nstagram what? no? we're just friends ↳ estebanocon oh mon amie naïve (my naive friend) friends don't look at each other the way the two of you do
landonorris can we talk? seen
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anyone interested in a part 2?
2K notes · View notes
no-144444 · 1 month
Text
the disgraced pop princess
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summary: oscar is your salvation after things go horribly wrong
pairing: oscar piastri (no.81) x singer! reader
warnings: TALK OF SA and cyberbullying
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comments
user13: WHAT THE FUCK
user15: This is all her fault. She's a bad person
-> user16: Where did you get that from? An anonymous twitter account?
user14: I AM A CHILD OF DIVORCE
Alexy/l/n: ❤️❤️❤️
CharlesOBrien: the end.
DarrelBowser: fin.
user82: WTF.
user45: how could she ruin this? doesn't she care about the fans?
-> user38: you have no idea what happened? stfu
oscarpiastri: GUYS I'M FREAKING OUT RN WTF.
-> user55: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
-> logansargeant: he's been a WINGS fan since he was a teenager. He's been in love with Y/n Y/l/n name since he was like 15.
-> landonorris: Can confirm he's having a breakdown rn.
-> alexalbon: It's all too much for little oscar piastri
->zbrown: Zandvoort is fucked isn't it? @/landonorris @/oscarpiastri
-> landonorris: Sadly, yes.
-> oscarpiastri: VERY MUCH SO, YES.
user90: oscar piastri being a WINGS fan was not on my 2024 bingo card tbh.
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BREAKING NEWS! POPULAR MUSIC GROUP ‘WINGS’ HAVE ANNOUNCED THE END OF THEIR WORLD TOUR, AND THEIR BAND! 
Speculation has been flying for weeks due to various sources giving people an inside look into popular music group ‘Wings’. Many fans have been left wondering in recent weeks as the band has been seen arguing on stage, not speaking to each other off-stage, and even some of them have been refusing to go on and perform. Many people have been trying to point fingers to who’s at fault for the end of this historic music group, and  various pieces of evidence against the front woman Y/n Y/l/n, the singer, songwriter, and lead bass guitarist of the group. Many pieces against her have been posted to the popular anonymous twitter account  ‘@/anonymousmail’, detailing how she has been treating the rest of the band badly, by not letting them write their own music, becoming too controlling over the band, and even going as far as to threaten other members of the band. 
Late last night after their last of 5 shows in Las Vegas at the historical Westgate Las Vegas Resort & Casino, where rock and roll legend, Elvis Presley played for years, the front woman Y/n Y/l/n posted a photo of her hugging her brother (and fellow band member), Alex Y/l/n with the caption ‘the end of it all. 12 year old me is crying. so is 22 year old me. bye for now and ever.’. On stage, they announced they were parting ways and were all in tears as they left. 
This looks like the end for the group, and this publication is sad to see them go. We wish them all good luck, and we will keep our readers posted on any drama from the unravelling group. 
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BREAKING NEWS! ‘WINGS’ LEAD GUITARIST SPEAKS OUT AGAINST Y/N Y/L/N!
In a new-deleted instagram story, the lead guitarist of the band called out Y/n Y/l/n with this statement 
‘Good f*****g riddance to that b***h . F******g fame-hungry c**t who could never sing for s**t. Good f**k tho’
This left fans shocked, as Y/l/n has said in the past that they were ‘all friends and would always respect each other, even if the band broke up’ (2021 interview with Vogue). Many people have shipped the two online due to their flirty stage-presence and good banter in interviews, but they always vehemently denied the claims that they were together. In other shocking news, it seems the rest of the band Charles O’Brien (lead guitarist), Alex Y/l/n (new lead singer, ‘Wings’ second guitarist), Darrel Brown (drummer), and Axel Smith (new bass guitarist) will be continuing on with ‘Wings’ as this was posted to the band social media account just days after their announced split. 
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Y/n Y/l/n has refused to comment and all her social media accounts have gone dark. We’ll keep you updated!
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comments
user12: ZAK BROWN IS WILDIN
user59: HE GETS US, BRING BACK THE REAL WINGS
landonorris: bro plz don't jump wtf
alexalbon: we're here for you buddy :)
logansargeant: he's crying in my driver's room rn. he's unconsolable.
-> user90: bro is DOWN BAD.
mclaren: Please don't crash the car Oscar. We'll bribe you.
-> user47: this is insane.
User58: hey so you're crazy.
georgerussel: We're here for you mate :(
lewishamilton: Missing WINGS rn.
user83: i feel bad that oscar just found out his celebrity crush is a bad person :(
-> user33: phone down. NOW. it's an anonymous twitter account with no credibility.
user55: what Charles said about her was mental.
-> oscarpiastri: AGREED. I ALWAYS HATED HIM.
-> landonorris: PUBLIC ACCOUNT.
-> WINGSfanno1: ur right, my b. AGREED. I ALWAYS HATED HIM.
-> user88: no way oscar piastri has a WINGS fan account 🤣🤣🤣
hater66: I hate Y/n, oscar should too.
hater36: she's a slut and an awful person.
hater22: Y/N Y/L/N HATE CLUB!
->hater82: me too!
->hater100: me too!
->hater3792: me too!
->hater38: me too!
->hater202: me too!
->hater26: me too!
->hater77: me too!
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BREAKING NEWS! Y/N Y/L/N IS SET TO BE ATTENDING THE DUTCH GRAN PRIX THIS WEEKEND!
According to anonymous sources, Y/n Y/l/n will be attending the Dutch Gran Prix this weekend. This comes as a shock since she's deactivated her instagram, most likely due to the break-up of her band. The rest of WINGS will also be in attendance, all as guest of McLaren, whereas Y/n is a guest of Sir. Lewis Hamilton, in the Mercedes garage. They have been seen in public recently and have been sparking dating rumours, despite their age difference. Many fans are now speculating that another reason the band broke up is the supposed cheating rumours. Y/l/n was apparently dating lead guitarist Charles O'Brien, but cheated on him with 7 time World Champion, Lewis Hamilton. Their paparazzi photos certainly seem to paint a picture...
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You woke up puffy-eyed and angry. 3 days ago, you were on tour living your life to the fullest, singing and touring with your best friends, and your chosen family. At least, that's what you thought they were. It turns out they'd all been trying to get you out of the band that you started, for a couple of months now. They'd been lying to the press about you, making every little thing you did seem worse than it was, and your 'best friend' Charles O'Brien decided it was time to get you drunk enough to sleep with him.
You felt used. Every time you four went in for a record session, a new contract, a new show, you were told that you were the only reason the band was famous. You were the real talent.You were the moneymaker. You always brushed it off, telling them that you were so good, because the band was so good. You didn't give a fuck about people telling you to get out before they swindled you and felt you in the dirt. Now you wished you had listened. Now you wished you hadn't seen so blind to their blatant disregard for you. Now you wished you'd broken off from them years ago, even your brother.
Charles had been the backbone of getting you out, that you knew. He'd always hated how you got credit for making the band popular, when it really was you who made the band popular. It had been your idea to start a youtube channel at 12 years old, it had been your idea to enter your schools battle of the bands at 13 years old, and it was you who took the risk and trusted a manager for the first time, even going as far as being the only one to sign the contract, so they could always get out of it. You'd always been so considerate, so protective, so blind.
Today was the Dutch Gran Prix, and Lewis had decided it would be best for you to get out of the hotel room you'd been rotting in and come visit him for the race. You'd been to Gran Prix's before, but mostly when you were younger and not in the middle of a world tour, like you had been for the past year and a half. You left your room looking better than you had in days, you'd done your makeup, worn your favourite outfit, and you'd finally stopped crying. Small victories, right? You hadn't checked social media in days, you knew what you'd find, and you didn't want to know what everyone thought of you. You just wanted it all to stop.
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liked by nicolepiastri, charlesobrien and 772,922 more.
comments
alexalbon: Ok this is becoming pathetic now
-> logansargeant: YOU ONLY THINK IT'S PATHETIC NOW?
georgerussel: Poor kid :(
maxverstappen: 🤣🤣🤣🤣
danielriccardo: I'll swing by with some food. We can cry together brother
-> oscarpiastri: the only real one on the grid 💔💔💔 love you daniel
-> logansargeant: mate I held you when you cried last night.
-> oscarpiastri: and you're still complaining about it. Daniel doesn't complain.
nicolepiastri: Kids these days...
hattiepiastri: please take his phone away from him @/logansargeant, I can't handle anymore embarrassment.
-> logansargeant: I'm trying, I promise.
user67: can we talk about zak brown, wtf?
-> zbrown: he's too sexy to die (and crash my car)??? what don't u get????
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As you walked into the paddock beside Lewis, you felt the cameras on you. He was trying to shield you, but it wasn't exactly working.
"Y/n, how do you feel about what Charles said about you?!" "Y/n, are you and Lewis together? Did you cheat on Charles?"
What? How could you cheat on Charles when you weren't even dating him? That made no fucking sense. He'd assaulted you. You were going through the motions of suing him. How could anyone think you'd willingly have sex with the boy you'd seen as a brother for the past 22 years of your life?
"Follow me," Lewis whispered, leading you further away from the McLaren garage. "Don't worry about them, they're not going to talk to you."
You nodded, trying to put on a brave face as he led you to the Mercedes garage. You were used to the paddock, Lewis had known you since you were a young teenager embarking on your first tour with a new record deal, he'd shown you around as you stood nervous, just trying to do everything right, make yourself and the band look good. He gave you an important piece of advice that day.
"You don't need to worry about the cameras or the press, be yourself and the rest will come naturally."
A piece of advice you'd followed through your teenage years, and now into your 20's. You were scared again, but this time, you were alone. No band behind you, your brother wasn't there to protect you, and everyone hated you, for no good reason.
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As you sat down in the paddock, Toto gave you a look of pity.
"How's my favourite popstar?" He smirked, trying to cheer you up.
"Disgraced," you groaned, and leaned your head against his shoulder. Mercedes had been like a second family to you, you'd met everyone back when you were 14, just about to start a tour after a song you posted online went viral. Your first stop was Silverstone, playing for so many people made you want to run and hide instead of play, but Lewis and Toto had helped you out, calmed you down, and you'd smashed it. It skyrocketed your fame, and got you an extended record deal.
He sighed. "Not for long. Don't let the boys win, it's always a boy's world."
You chuckled. "Thanks Toto."
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Oscar jogged out of the McLaren garage as WINGS walked in. Logan had promised to let him stay at Williams if the band were too much for him, and he'd just had to listen to Charles O'Brien talk to his race engineer about how it was to fuck you. He felt sick to his stomach, and he didn't have anything else to do ahead of today, so off he went.
"Oscar!" Lewis's voice rung out and Oscar stopped in his tracks, turning to see where it was coming from. "Come here!"
Oscar walked over, confused by the sentiment. Lewis and Oscar didn't often speak before races. He walked over all the same, and there you were. Standing beside him looking gorgeous and flawless, and he knew he was fucked.
"Hi, I'm Y/n," you held out your hand to be shaken, and he did so with vigour, almost squeezing too hard.
"I'm Oscar," he smiled, then dropped your hand.
"See, I am a miracle worker," Logan's voice appeared out of nowhere, and Oscar whipped his head around to see him smirking. "I'm Logan," he introduced himself to you with a handshake which you reciprocated. "Oscar is basically in love with you and your music-"
"Mate!" Oscar tried to cover his mouth, but Logan was already in a laughing fit, as Lewis laughed with him. "I am so sorry about him, he's-"
"It's alright," you smiled. "It's honestly just nice to know that not every WINGS fan hates me now."
He frowned. "I'm really sorry about the break, it must've been awful."
You shrugged. "It was what was best for the band."
"I seriously doubt that. You were like, more than half the reason anyone ever listened," he chuckled. "You're amazing."
You felt yourself heat up. "Thank you. I think you're a pretty amazing driver."
"You watch F1?" He asked.
"Oh yeah, Lewis would kill me if I didn't," you chuckled. "It's also just really interesting, and congratulations on being like, the best rookie of all time."
He blushed and smiled. "Thank you."
You heard a camera snap and the small moment you two were having was ruined. Lewis and Logan had left you two to chat, and obviously now it looked... strange to say the least.
"God, I'd better go, sorry. You probably don't want to be seen with me-"
"I'd rather formulate my own opinion on you, rather than listen to what everyone else is saying. Do you want to go for a walk?"
You smiled, a real, genuine smile. "Yeah, that'd be lovely."
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"So... how are you?" he asked as you walked through the crowds of people.
"I'm alright," you answered hesitantly. "Charles isn't making anything easy."
Oscar sighed. "He's definitely not an easy person to be around."
"You met him?"
"For about 5 minutes before I had to leave so I wouldn't punch him," he chuckled.
You laughed. "He's good at first impressions."
"Evidently," Oscar smirked.
"Yeah it just sucks that he aired all that shit out y'know? It's just... so unfair, especially when the court case is still being pieced together by our lawyers-"
"Wait, what? What do you mean 'court case'?"
"I'm suing him, he assaulted me," you shrugged.
"Holy shit, I'm so sorry," he stopped and took your hand. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."
You stopped for a moment. In the last 72 hours, no one had apologised, no one had checked in, and no one had been so heartbroken for you. Did he have to be perfect?
"T-thank you," you sniffled. "I'd better go, it was nice to meet you, b-bye Oscar."
Oscar was left standing outside Ferrari as you walked off to the Mercedes garage. He felt awful, no one should have that happen to them, and you were so sweet and kind, he almost couldn't believe someone would take advantage of that. He knew one thing though, he needed to see you again.
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comments
hater56: why is lewis still hanging out with her....
hater52: LEWIS RUN
hater79: lewis get away from the slut plz
oscarpiastri: ❤️❤️❤️❤️
-> lewishamilton: out of my comment section now.
-> y/nyl/n: stfu lewis
hater67: how is she still famous?
alexalbon: PLZ LET HER SWING BY WILLIAMS
-> logansargeant: I SECOND THIS ^^^^^
-> y/ny/l/n: omw rn
-> oscarpiastri: same. (just a conincidence)
-> logansargeant: 🧐🧐🧐
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comments
hater77: she's so annoying, why does he like her?
-> oscarpiastri: girl. have you seen or meet her? THAT'S WHY
user66: This is insane.
alexalbon: nurse he's out again! -> logansargeant: he's scoping out Williams to find her. come back soon plzzzz
lewishamilton: it was embarrassing...
georgerussell: good luck with keeping away from you @/y/ny/l/n !
-> y/ny/l/n: 👍👍👍👍
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Oscar walked into Williams with one objective, to see you. He needed to talk to you again. As he was searching, he finally bumped into you.
"You found me," you smiled.
"I did," he smiled. "And I was wondering if you'd want to talk more."
"Well, right now I have to get to Mercedes," you explained and he deflated slightly. "But I can give you my number and we can get dinner sometime?"
He was elated.
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Months of texting and dating, healing with Oscar, getting into the studio, and finally, your next single was ready. It was called 'Labyrinth', and it was about how Oscar had turned everything around for you. He was perfect. Kind, a gentleman, funny, sweet, everything. You loved him. He loved you.
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
921 notes · View notes
sun-kissy · 2 months
Note
I am BEGGING on my knees for a part two to "Meant to be" 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
your wish is my command, sweetheart!! here is part 2. thank you guys so much for all the love on part 1 ♡
meant to be | poly!wolfstar (part 2)
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part 1 | part 2
tw: angst, hurt/comfort
poly!wolfstar x reader
The chillness radiating off the wall behind you does nothing to ease your pain as you slump to the ground outside the common room.
You press your fingertips to your lips, nibbling on your nails anxiously as you feel the hot tears dribble down your cheeks.
It was over. Your relationship with Sirius and Remus was over, and it was all your fault. You had ruined it.
It had felt like the right decision two minutes ago when you were admitting your troubles in the common room. It had felt like something you had to do for the past few weeks, whenever you saw the boys together without you, whenever you felt like an extra in their relationship.
So why did it feel like there was a gaping hole in your heart? Why did it feel like your insides had just been clawed out and crushed to pieces? 
This was your doing, your choice, you told yourself. No point mourning for a relationship that was already dead. 
Maybe Sirius and Remus were bubbling with laughter and cuddling in the common room right now. You really hoped that they were glad to be rid of you, because it was worth feeling this hurt if it meant they were happy.
As your thoughts of culpability begin to consume you, your vision starts to blur with tears. You lean your head against the wall, eyes closing as a soft sob escapes your lips. 
It was dawning upon you that you really had lost the boys you loved, and there was nothing you could do about it.
You freeze, your train of thought evaporating into thin air when you suddenly feel a hand on your cheek, thumbing the tears away.
You could recognise his touch anywhere, hands calloused from animalistic tendencies but gentle as a lamb when he traced hearts on your skin.
Eyes fluttering open, you come face to face with Remus, his beautiful face scrunched up in a sullen frown. Your vision flickers over to Sirius, standing behind him.
Sirius looks unsteady on his feet, swaying slightly from side to side with bloodshot eyes and tear tracks on his cheeks. Your heart feels heavy in your chest, and you know you probably look just as bad as he does. He was gazing at you with an unfamiliar desperation in his eyes, which truly, really mortified you. And to think you thought he would be pleased with the breakup - god, you were horrible.
“Dove,” Remus breathes out in a quiet rasp, drawing your attention back to him. You will your heart to stay intact as you look into his hazel eyes, but you feel it breaking anyway. Not a single word comes out your mouth knowing full well that you would break down into a sobbing mess if you spoke. You avert your gaze and opt to stare at the ground instead.
“Hey, look at me, please,” he whispers, rubbing your cheek again with those stupidly lovely hands and looking at you with those disgustingly pretty eyes and all the love in the world that you wished that you could die. You quietly raise your head to look at Remus again, and he offers you a small, forced smile to compensate you for your effort. “There’s my girl,” he murmurs.
His hand suddenly retracts from your face, and you hate to admit it but you miss his warmth immediately. His eyes widen slightly, and it’s like he remembered that you’re not his girl anymore. You’re not his. 
There’s a beat of sad silence as all of you sit with the fact that things weren’t the same as they used to be, maybe they never would be.
“Y/n,” Sirius croaks out, breaking the silence as you whip your head up to look at his grief-stricken face. It’s not so much the brokenness of his voice as the fact that he isn’t trying to hide it which hurts your heart. “Can we… can we please just talk this out? Please?”
He takes a small wobbly step toward you, extending his hand. You feel the sirens in your head start to sound loudly. Should you give him your hand? Should you give him your heart again?
You despise the feeling of longing which immediately strikes you. The desire to feel Sirius’ fingers intertwined with yours again, the wish to hold him in your arms, the need to wipe those tears from his lovely face. You wished things to be as they once were, his arms around your waist and lips on your forehead. Remus’ head on your lap as you combed your fingers through his hair, eyes fleetingly meeting before smiles full of love were passed around. It wasn’t just a relationship, it was a home. It was achingly sacred.
That home was broken, tarnished. Maybe it had been broken since the day you fell in love with them. Maybe it had been torn apart when they carried their relationship along without you. Or maybe you had ruined it when you told them you wanted no part in this affair anymore.
But if there was one thing you knew, it was that things that were broken could be fixed. You knew this fact like the back of your hand, from the countless times Remus had uttered those exact words to you when you were dissolving into a mess of tears and panic. You knew the words from when Sirius murmured them softly in your ear, stroking your hair as you sobbed yourself half to death. When you were trapped under the debris of problems that was your life, broken and scarred, they had pulled you out. They had fixed you.
Undeniably, Sirius and Remus had made their fair share of mistakes, unintentionally shunning you from the best parts of their relationship. They had torn your heart apart, but they fixed it up every single time they kissed you or smiled at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. Those fleeting moments had made all the hurt seem like nothing.
So who were you to deny the boys your affection? Even when they made mistakes, it was okay; because they loved you, and that was enough. You knew they might stumble and they may mess things up, but they would always get back up and take your hand. The sheer force of their love would be enough to overcome their shortcomings, you were sure of it.
So when Sirius stretches out his palm towards you, you wrap your hand around his. Remus watches on quietly, wide eyes darting between the both of you. 
Sirius’ face lights up immediately, a hint of relief in his eyes. It looks like all the tension has left his features as he gives you a small grin. Your lips curve upwards in a soft smile.
“Yeah, I think… I think we can talk about it. I’m sorry for just walking out on you guys like that.”
“No, angel,” Remus retorts immediately, standing up and wrapping an arm around your waist to haul you up as well. “It’s not your fault at all. We… we screwed up, big time. We were blind to your feelings, and we’re really fucking sorry for that,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair defeatedly. 
“But we’re gonna do better. We’re gonna make it work,” Sirius pipes up uncharacteristically firmly, his hand squeezing yours reassuringly. Remus nods, lifting his gaze to look at you as well. “Yeah, for you. We’re gonna try harder just for you.” Seeing the determination and love on their faces involuntarily melts your heart and brings a smile to your face, a real one this time.
The hint of happiness on your face is a big enough victory for them, Sirius’ smile morphing into a usual full-blown grin, and Remus’ arm tightening around your waist as he pulls you into his side. He moves towards the common room, Sirius’ hand still tightly gripping yours.
“We’re gonna talk about it, but not after some much-deserved cuddles and hot chocolate,” Remus murmurs, a small grin gracing his face when he sees the smile on your lips. The three of you walk in that awfully awkward position, you pressed against Remus with your hand tightly gripping Sirius’.
But you wouldn’t have it any other way. Just like this relationship, which had its ups and downs. That was especially the case for a three-way affair, something foreign to all of you. You were bound to slip up and you were bound to make mistakes.
But you loved them, and they loved you. That was all that mattered.
746 notes · View notes
igotanidea · 2 months
Text
Coke and disappointment: Jason Todd x reader
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Warnings: SMUT MDNI!, friends to lovers, bad date on reader's part
Summary: when a date goes wrong, who's better to talk to if not a best friend. Even if that best friend happens to secretly have feelings for you and the complaining may actually push him over the edge...
A/N: sorry for the typos and mistakes, no time to proofread :D I'll fix it later :D
***
He was a fool.
A stupid, idiotic fucker who was too stubborn to speak up.
Too scared to tell the girl he liked that he liked her.
And now he was about to lose her.
Jason let out a shaky exhale, feeling his heart shutter at the thought she was about to move on with her life and leave him alone. Again. And then he punched the wall in a poor attempt at transforming that sadness into rage.
Rage was easier and he knew how to navigate it.
He took in the surroundings of his apartment, a little cluttered and shabby, but still it was the place he called his. Just last night she was casually lunging on his couch, texting on her phone with that stupid smile that always made his heart melt.
She was texting him. That other guy who obviously did not deserve her.  HE could have been the prince charming himself, be a gentleman with the look, but in Jason’s opinion he did not deserve her.
She was so close on that stupid couch.
So close.
All he had to do was take one step forward, take the phone from her hands and fucking tell her how he felt.
And then she jumped in the air, laughing and spinning around, proudly announcing she had a date.
And suddenly she was not so close anymore. Almost like those three words made a mountain grow between them.
A mountain, a sea, a valley and a desert.
His words died in his throat and he just smirked, throwing his usual meaningly funny comment and shut his heart once more.
And now he was spread on the same couch she was yesterday, with a bottle of beer in his hand, thinking stupid thoughts.
***
“Are you drinking without me?” the door swung open and Y/n walked inside like she owned the place, almost immediately heading towards the fridge and grabbing herself a bottle of cola zero.
“The hell Y/N? The hell you’re doing here?!”
“Can’t I just pop in at my friend’s place?” she raised an eyebrow and took a sip of her drink.
“Oh, no, you know what, by all means come in at any time. What if I was with someone?” Jason hissed in response, moving on the couch to make space for her.
“Well then, if so, you should remember to close the door.  As much as I wouldn’t mind the show, I’m pretty sure the girl you’ll be taking advantage of would not be delighted with an onlooker.”
“You’re disgusting Y/N.” Jason sighed with a hint of a smirk.
“But I’m not wrong, am I?” she grinned and poked his ribs playfully.
“No. No you are not.”
“Yeah…”
That yeah coming from her was supposed to be said in a funny tone, but came out a little desperate, the silence that fell after only added to that sensation.
“Hey Y/n/n?”
“Hm?”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“About what?”
“You know what.” Jason frowned and cupped her chin making her look at him
“That little failure of something that I already romanticized in my head before?”
“Yeah. About that.”
“Actually, yes, let’s talk about it. Maybe you can tell me what is wrong with today’s men.”
“Oh, shit talking the fucker that clearly made you upset. I’m game.” Jason stood up gathering another beer and coke from the fridge, getting ready for the long conversation. “Do tell.” With the force he jumped back on the couch, Y/N flew a few inches in the air.
“He came late.” She started and Jason booed “he was dressed as if it was a beach or something. And then he took me to the park—”
“Hopefully those punches and moves I taught you helped?”
“Right, cause we were fighting squirrels.” Y/N rolled her eyes “come on, be serious, it was the middle of the day in a public place. Using those punches will only make me get attention to myself. I settled on the good old kick in the groin.
Jason laughed. It was obvious the meeting did not go well.
“He was only talking about himself. Like all the time. Never once asking a thing about me.”
“You could have started talking yourself. I’m pretty sure the fucker had to make breaks for breathing?”
“Actually, I’m starting to believe he’s that one parasite that scientists discovered and that does not.”
“A parasite huh?”
“Pretty much so.”
“So, he took you to the café?”
“Nope.”
“Nope?”
“Nope.”
“Wait, you’re serious!?” Jason turned abruptly to meet her eyes. “So the hell were you two doing?”
“Walking in the park?” Y/N raised an eyebrow “just told you?”
“For two hours?! How big was this fucking park?”
“Well….” Her gaze traveled lower and she started fidgeting with her fingers.
“What else?”
“Nothing.”
“What else, Y/N?” Jason almost groaned in frustration.
“At some point we took a turn and had to literally bush-bash.”
“No!” much to her surprise Jason started guffawing
“Hey, stop laughing! It was not funny! I had a dress!”
“Oh, poor little you.” He cackled even harder. “You don’t really want my opinion on that so-called “date” do you?”
“Of course not. I’m not exactly blind to red flags. I just wanted to vent.”
“You can be blind to red flags sometimes.” Jason muttered, quickly drowning the words with the sip of a drink.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“You’re spending time with me, instead with one of your girlfriends.”
“I don’t have girlfriends and your red flags are the reason why you are my friend and why there would never be anything else.”
Ouch. That was like a punch to the guts.
“What if there was?” he blurted without thinking, only because the bottle turned out empty and he couldn’t swallow the bile.
“What--?” with a broken word and the way her eyes focused on his face, Jason knew there was no going back. It was now or never.
“What if there was Y/N? What if there was something more…?” with a gentle touch he grabbed her coke and put it on the nearby table, instead intertwining their fingers. “What if—”
“Jason, don’t—”
“Don’t tell me to stay in the shadows while you keep dating men that can’t even take you for coffee!” he yelled and it made her stumble backwards, letting go of his hands. “Fuck! Why can’t you see it?!
“See what…?”
“You deserve –” he started, but she cut him off.
“No. No, don’t you dare tell me that I deserve someone better. I don’t really see men lining up for me” Y/N chuckled dryly “I’m not a teen anymore, soon my expiration date will come and –“
“Shut up!” he hissed, in a blink of an eye finding himself on the other side of the couch, his eyes boring a hole into her face, his hands aching to do so many things… “You deserve more than a mindless stroll in the park, not that the walk itself is a bad thing. You deserve to be spoiled and –“
“Please don’t…”
“If anything more, you at least deserve a good orgasm.” He groaned, unable to control himself anymore, eyes filled with lust and unspoken promises of pleasure.
She was so close. Once again. Only now, he wasn’t going to cross the line. It was her choice. If she wanted to walk out and close the door on him – fine. This would hurt like hell, but eventually Jason would get over it.
But it was her choice and there was no way he would take advantage of her.
As if making her hot and bothered with the look in his eyes, the closeness and the heat from his presence and words was not taking advantage.
***
Y/N was lost only for a second.
It’s been so long since she’s been touched. So long since she felt anyone in that way. And her body needed it.
God knows she needed it.
And she had no power to swim against the tide, grabbing the front of his shirt and kissing him.
***
Jason reacted instinctively.
His strong hands moved to her waist, pulling her on top of him, starting to grind against her, even through their clothes.
He was going to make her feel so good.
So fucking good, taking her to the places she’s never been before.
Only for her. Just for her.
Her.
Now not only in his thoughts and crazy fantasies, but in flesh and bone in his arms, on his couch, pliant and needy for attention.
“Jason….” His lips moved from her lips to her neck, brushing over her pulse point.
“Jason…” his hands rolled her dress up until it was on her waist.
“Jason…” the word became hoarse and breathy when he lifted her up so she was now straddling him.
And he was only just beginning.
Teasing her with one finger, pulling her panties away, feeling the wetness already seeping on his jeans. She was so ready for him just from a few touches. How touch starved and neglected she must have been if just a little foreplay was enough?
“You’re mine tonight…” he groaned into her ear. “Mine. Say it Y/N…”
“Yours…” she whimpered, shuddering at the way his index finger inched closer to her heat.
“Yeah. Mine.” For Jason it felt just right to call her his.
“Please….”
“Not yet baby.”
“Don’t be mean… You promised me—”
“A good time. And that’s exactly what you’ll get. But not like that.”
“Then what—Ah!”
Her cry of surprise tore the air as he grabbed her by the waist, lifted her in the air and carried towards the bedroom, miraculously avoiding all the stuff on the floor. Once in the room, with one hand around her, he threw the cover alongside every little thing on it onto the floor, making quite a noise. But what was a little background mess in comparison to the passion they were both experiencing right now.
They were clearly not friends now, but it was not important.
All the labels, unanswered questions and doubts left their heads as fast as their clothes started flying in all the directions. Bra on the lamp, boxers on the bedpost, shirt on the floor, a mess of clothes in the foot of the bed.
They didn’t care.
All that mattered at that moment was his lips on hers, her hands in his hair, the way his fingers kept pumping in and out of her prepping her for what was coming and the smell of her arousal in the air.
And those moans of pleasure that hit his ear made him hard enough to drill through the concrete.
“So wet…” he muttered
“So good!” she cried out arching her back, turning into a wanton, a bitch, not caring in the slightest about losing control. It felt good to just let go.
“Yeah?” he breathed out pulling fingers out of her, now coated with her juices. “Good?” Jason made sure to trace them up her body, spreading wetness on her stomach, her breasts with those deliciously pert nipples just begging to be abused and finally on her mouth. As if knowing she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from licking those plump red lips in a motion that was both innocent and obscene. “I'll show you good…”
With a groan, almost losing control, he spread her legs, hovering over her, leaning so close that his breath was hitting her face and his chest pressed against her breasts creating unbearable friction.
“Jason… Jason, please…” she squirmed, arched, begged and pleaded.
“I’ll give you everything you need…” he promised, leaning on forearms, slowly pushing inside her, mindful of every expression on her face. Only upon making sure she was feeling the pleasure and not the pain, his eyes moved lower, watching his cock disappear in her.
The dirty look that once again shuttered the fundamentals of his self-control.  
“More!” she cried out, closing eyes, grabbing his shoulders, earning a groan from him.
“Fuckin more!”
There was no interim between bottoming out and adjusting to his size and frenzied pace of lovemaking. They just went from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye.
He was gripping the headrest, too scared to touch her body In fear he’ll break her from the force. His forearms were straining from the power in those strong arms and Y/N knew he could snap her like a branch. Instead, somewhere deep inside that lust filled brain, he was still focused on her well being and safety.
Not that she could say the same about the way his cock was thrusting. Pulling in and out of her like she was made out of a rubber, shaping her to his girth, making sure to leave the memories of that night not only in her brain but also gouging the flutes on her pussy. For she was his.
Crying out his name
Touching him.
Letting him feel that tight wetness groping him like a vice.
So fucking tight only proving the point that she didn’t get nearly enough sex as she deserved.
“Tell me-“ he gasped, leaning his forehead on hers with sweaty hair clinging to it “How many times before you’ve came-“
“I – I don’t – I can’t-„ she cried out when he lifted her hips, changing the angle hitting deeper, harder, more intensely, effectively silencing all the thoughts. All she could focus on then was matching his pace, keeping that delicious stretch going, igniting the friction, running hands all over his back, holding him tight enough to not fly out into space right away.
“Tell me baby. I need you to say it.” He muttered between ragged breath, feeling his own release knocking at the door more and more stridently.
“Ne- never!” she cried out “Please!”
“Cum for me sweetheart.” He whispered in her ear with the silent promise of catching her and keeping her safe.
And he knew she believed him when her sobs, cries and gasps of climax filled the room, completing the scent of sex with the sound of pleasure.
Perfection incarnated in the form of a sin.
***
“Go on a date with me…”
Once they both came out from their high, laying side by side in the bed-
Once he dared to let out that soft side of his feelings, tracing circles on her sensitive body –
Once the arousal and horniness was gone-
There was no regret. No oh-my-god-what-have-we-done moment.
In fact, in some crazy way, it all seemed natural. Like both Jason and Y/N knew that it was bound to happen and their sex was not an accident or a mistake.
But a date?
“I’m serious, Y/N. Go on a date with me.”
“You don’t owe me—”
“It’s not about owing, baby. I want it. To be able to hold your hand in public, to beat to pulp every single guy that comes too close to you. To kiss you under the moonlight. To walk you home after and come upstairs just to cuddle on the couch together.”
“You sure?” she teased, laying her upper body on top of his, looking into his eyes with a happy smile “that would ruin your reputation as a cold and heartless motherfucker.”
"Some people are worth sacrificing like that…”
“Must be someone special.” Y/N whispered, her heart fluttering at the sensitivity Jason was expressing now.
“She is. A one in the million.” He tangled fingers in her hair, unable to tear his eyes from her naked form next to him.
The happiest fucker in the universe.
And to think she came to his place only to have a coke and complain about a bad date.
Coke and disappointment turning into a chance at a relationship.  
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newtkive · 8 months
Text
shift shenanigans - s1 social media au
note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.
warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry
part two
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liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others
chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁
see all 8 comments
syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n
↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me
↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///
marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.
↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular
↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start
richietheking: Where am I?
↳ chefboyardee: ya motha
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liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others
richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.
see all 8 comments
marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.
↳ richietheking: You already know it man.
syd_adamu: this is actually crazy
carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.
↳ richietheking: Delete your life.
chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝
↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.
↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.
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WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩
[ 8:25 am ]
y/n:
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bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.
marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy
DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.
syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school
DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.
y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie
richie poo: ????? What
y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols
marcus: valid
syd: real
richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude
y/n: cuz you piss me off
and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday
richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.
syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?
richie poo: Fuck off.
y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.
marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n
y/n: don’t remind me
syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas
richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook
tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.
syd: hey! i’m just being helpful
y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings
marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares
y/n: great i’m gonna cry now
syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine
richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.
y/n: oh great
tina: Help us all.
syd: be nice you guys
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WORK
[ 9:15 am ]
carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression
y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳
syd: ok sounds good
richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media
tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??
carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts
marcus: facebook is crazy
richie poo: I can’t go private
y/n: he needs the likes
richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why
y/n: liar
richie poo: 😑I don’t like you
carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.
marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie
carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.
richie poo: Fine, whatever
y/n: carmy
carmy: What, Y/n?
y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real
carmy: I don’t care Y/n.
y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’
oh
syd: ? why the oh
y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes
carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later
y/n: OMG yes chef 😍
richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work
y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass
jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face
carmy: Stop
y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳
i heard your giggle tho
richie poo: Again with the schizo episode
syd: you can’t say that richie
richie poo: Oh sorry
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