#and the truth comes out and reveals how i was a sanders sides blog before turning into a cookie run one

[galaxyacerodoesart]

Oooh you have an AO3 account? Would you be willing to share It? 👀 Also what is the fanfic idea you where talking about?

AKSHDJFJ i mean i guess?? :'D my AO3 is galaxyacero

I have only 3 fics there, two are Sanders Sides fanfics where one of them i never fricking finished because i didnt had the inspiration to do so, and one cookie run FireKnight fic that i wrote when I was like, really new to the fandom so i got some stuff like character pronouns and what not wrong, but its so old-ish i never bothered to go through it all and fix that :')

As for the new idea I had...its another FireKnight fic, because i'll admit. Im weak for those two and at this point i can admit they really are a comfort ship of mine. As for what is about... Idk how to explain that well? Aksjdj its like, some Human/Fantasy AU where the Legendary cookies are Gods while the others are normal humans and what not, and the main Idea is basically FS would come to a village demanding to have the heir of the chief to sacrifice/give themselves up for him, or else he would destroy everything, and obviously, the heir is Princess, But Knight being her loyal friend, goes in her place and since FS doesnt know what the heir looks like, he totally believes Knight is the heir, takes him, and only realizes who Knight really is when they are both already back to where FS lives, FS probably made a "God promise" or something that made it Impossible for him to go back on his word, so now him and Knight have to learn to get along.

Thats like, the BASIC Idea obviously akdjdk there is much more behind It, like WHY FS demanded a "sacrifice" and How the whole thing would end, but i'll save it for IF I actually write this lmao

[quietrainfan]

Hey! Anyone want some heavy platonic Loceit angsty headcanons I've extracted from the new episode? Well, too bad because it's happening regardless. :)

Yes, also some Unsympathetic Patton. You know what blog you're on. (This interpretation/headcanon shall not die. Not here.)

(Also, this is going to combine my observations and thoughts as well, so sorry in advance if this post turns out as a bit of a mess.)

Alright, so! Orange Side confirmation. How we feelin', Sanders Sides fandom, how we feelin'?

Honestly, the Orange Side theory wasn't something I was really all that into. It was a 'meh, could be cool' headcanon for me personally. But I have to say the way the reveal was handled made me jump in my seat with pure joy. No joke, I audibly gasped when Logan's eyes flashed orange.

It was all downhill from there, I was excited. Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm a sucker for character's eyes glowing when they've reached their limit or are displaying a power they've never shown before, combine that with an unexpected reveal and I'm sold.

Plus, glowing eyes have been a common theme with Unsympathetic content and Dark Side headcanons so you could imagine how the first peak into the Orange Side's existence (or, rather confirmation. we all saw the 'hello' hint, Orange, you cheeky little munchkin.) was his color in Logan's eyes made me feel. It was so cool!!! Ah!

Then Thomas had to tease us again at the end card with our boy Orange's eyes popping up in the darkness, waiting for his chance to be too loud to ignore. Like, the audacity. Who do you think you are, Thomas?! (That was a joke. Sorry, I'm just really pumped.)

Also, Remus got quite a few laughs out of me. Ah, I missed him.

Okay, headcanon time! We're going to do Logan first, then Janus, then combine the two. Sound good? Alright, here we go (Trigger Warning for discussions of alcoholism, please if anything I write here sounds insensitive or inaccurate, let me know and I will edit. Also, no need to read if you don't want to. Stay safe.) :

Logan

Logan knew where to grab for that alcohol bottle.

I mean, I guess that makes sense since he lives there and is naturally the most observant Side. But...that bottle's placement was a little too convenient.

Sure it was played up as a joke and it was funny.

But something about the way Logan threw his coffee into the sink and quickly replaced it with the wine stuck out to me.

I've joked about Logan and/or Janus having to "drink to cope" due to sharing the single brain cell Thomas has amongst all the chaos. But seeing that in an actual episode, even as a gag, is kind of...different.

Let me explain.

This may be a common thing for Logan that he struggles with.

He wakes up early to be the first one to help Thomas start the day, naturally. Logan goes to make his cup of coffee and there's always the lingering urge to take a sip of wine before anyone can see because he just...can't face everyone without needing just a little bit of it to cloud out all the gross, petty, negative feelings he experiences every day around them.

He's logic. He can't be drinking and risk any more harm to Thomas's function.

So, it's a constant battle with coffee vs wine, coffee vs wine, coffee vs wine-

Most of the time Logan is able to resist and go with the coffee.

It doesn't make him feel good in the slightest. If anything it makes him feel even worse knowing he'll be more alert that day.

Logan hates that was even a thought at all. He needs to be alert. Otherwise everything will fall apart. He is the rock in the system and without him everything will crumble.

Such a selfish mindset. He needed to focus.

Other days Logan just doesn't have it in him to discard the wine regardless of how much he wants to.

He knows what the day holds for him. It was all so repetitive at this point. Logan knew when he wasn't able to get through it despite it all.

That didn't stop him from shaming himself for caving. He should be able to handle this. He's made so much progress with resisting it up to this point but today he through it away again because he just had to, right?

Sometimes Logan finds himself "cheating" by hiding a couple drops of wine into his coffee on days when he chose the coffee but later felt particularly bad about...a lot of things, into his second cup.

Logan more often times chooses neither. The temptation for clouding out the others was just too strong and was a waste of time.

Logan is beyond tired of the others.

Every single action they have agitates him now. No matter how minor it is.

Roman's loud voice and constant references makes Logan's toes unconsciously curl beneath his shoes. Even a silent warm smile and wave from the prince fills Logan with an unpleasant tingle in his knuckles.

Virgil's neverending foreboding and unnecessary nasty remarks that he doesn't even bother to filter provokes Logan's new habit of biting his tongue. Any kindness he ever gives him makes his stomach twist.

Patton's nicknames, poking for for a laugh, his "sweet" way of shoving away any objection he may have, how casually he behaves as if he isn't part of any problems- how quickly he's prepared to "bounce back". Logan feels like every word, action from him something steps on a guitar cord in the back of his mind that makes the ugliest, loud, screeching sound. He feels this strange warm fuzzy ache he can't define. All he hears is that cord playing faster and faster the longer he stays in their presence. Logan no longer trusts himself alone with Patton.

Logan thinks if he just separates from the others long enough, the ugly strumming noise will go away.

But he's so wrong.

Logan can hear it even when he's all alone. When it's finally silent, he still can't get rid of it.

It's loudest when Logan is alone in his room. Logan has lost count of how many nights he's spent clenching his head, quietly sobbing, and praying for it to just go away already.

Logan often feels like he's losing it.

On nights where the sounds are particularly louder than usual, he swears he can see orange shadows creeping around him, lights of the color flashing on and off, he sometimes even sees it seeping in and out of the cracks of his door like a thick fog. At times he'll even wake to it glowing absurdly bright through his window.

It's just the sunrise. Logan tells himself. He has to believe that. Everything else looked normal, after all.

What's worse is Logan doesn't know how long he's been hearing this sound or seeing the strange lights.

Patton knows about Logan's late night and early morning struggles.

But surprise, surprise, he pretends as if he's nonthewiser.

If either Virgil or Roman asks about Logan, Patton will answer: "Oh, that silly billy's probably got his head in one of his astronomy books again! I wouldn't bother him right now."

Knowing full well he's having an emotional breakdown in his room that gets worse every day.

Knowing about the little sneaks of alcohol in his hot morning beverage. Might even speak about yummy drink combinations when they hang out in the living room, while Logan is present, specifically and even only on the days Patton knows he's cheating with his bad habit, while he's still drinking it.

The further Logan is to the edge, the better. Patton is still bitter about the events of Redux ending in his favor, after all. He needs leverage from somewhere.

When Thomas left to see Nico, Logan heard the cord again. His chest tightened and though he could feel the tears welling up, he kept them down.

Thomas hasn't been very happy lately. He had to let him have this.

No matter how loud those cords get.

Janus

I noticed that Janus was either unseen by the others or unacknowledged by them.

Janus was near all of them but far enough that he was separated.

He could've just popped up at the end without them noticing but...that's less angsty therefore less fun so-

Janus has been the instigator for bringing Sides that have been hidden away to be brought to light for a long time. If the assumption that Janus let Remus out is true.

He's always been hinting at upcoming events that are sure to come if Thomas continues to ignore certain aspects of himself.

He knows. He knows our Orange boy is getting worse and soon will be too loud to ignore. Janus wants to protect Thomas but that's becoming harder every day. Thomas is making it harder.

Janus will reveal the Orange Side eventually. And very soon. Hell, that's looking like less and less of a choice considering Logan's...outburst.

I think Janus has this painful awareness that he can be seriously hated for doing his job. After all, he's always the one who's forced them to acknowledge uncomfortable truths about Thomas.

He's the one giving them all of those hard pills to swallow and especially after Remus, it is definitely overwhelming and exhausting to be met with.

They question their roles more and more because of how used they are to the fixed mindset Thomas has had for such a long time.

That can't feel good.

Janus knows that his job may cause more hatred to fester the more that's revealed.

Janus is being kept at arms length and he knows that won't stop any time soon.

But he's a clever snake. That won't keep him from keeping an eye on Patton.

(Find it real suspicious that Patton was all mushy with Janus in that end card but still is at a big distance from him.)

Loceit

Janus will sometimes find Logan in the common room with his head in his arms, sprawled out against the coffee table. His glasses being discarded from half his face, unmistakable tears lazily dripping out of his lifeless eyes.

Janus would wordlessly go to the sink and grab a glass, filling it with water.

Janus goes over to Logan, giving him a gentle rub on the back. He urges him to sit up. It takes Logan a few minutes but eventually does.

Janus hands Logan the water, supporting the back of his neck as struggles to get it down, reminding him to take his time.

Janus takes his glasses and gently sets them on the table. He hands Logan some tissues.

Logan lifelessly takes them and tries to clean his face. But he always ends up crying into them.

Janus moves Logan unkempt bangs from his face before moving his head to his shoulder. Janus manifests a warm blanket over Logan and uses a bit of his abilities to soothe the shorter man's pain, tenderly putting pressure on his neck.

Janus and Logan have a talk. Logan always asks why he bothers to stop and comfort him.

"You've helped me through a lot, Logan. Not returning the favor is out of the question."

That was always his answer.

Janus and Logan do this often.

Janus opens up about sometimes needing a bit of a drink himself from time to time. Though mostly that consists of tea more often than not, he sometimes has a glass of wine or two to relax on days when it's particularly hard.

He feels ashamed of it. Janus has to be the strongest out of everyone, especially the Dark Sides. Allowing things to faze him was the worst case scenario. At least, to that degree.

But Janus understands that isn't his fault and urges Logan not to blame himself, either. While he hated that weakness he occasionally submitted to, he wasn't going to let the rare slip up to define the worth of his role.

Logan thinks that Janus really is the strongest out of all of them just for saying things like that and he's being too hard on himself.

On nights when things become too much Janus will sit with Logan and share a drink. They try to have as many conversations without wine as possible but sometimes Janus says "screw it" and sits with Logan with one or two drinks.

Just having Janus there helps Logan choose his coffee in the mornings and feel as if he's being heard even a little bit.

Now if only those cords could actually quiet down, that'd be even better.

[dukeofonions]

Sensing a pattern thanks to the critical fans' asks... I'm a professional producer who's attempted on numerous occasions (unsuccessfully) to secure Thomas for a part in a Broadway-bound musical. TL;DR: How he and his team -- not just friends, but "pros" -- "run their railroad" confuses the hell out of us, and is probably the biggest obstacle to his getting anywhere besides YouTube. Frankly, we now wonder if this is by design and not just typical lack of experience winning the race, as it were...

(Sorry it took so long to respond work has been killing me the past few days.)

Longer Version (1/?): We've been working on this musical for just over a decade, and after we discovered Thomas's long-form content and the singles he's released, we thought he was a good fit for it. Without going into detail, the show's always been kind of a long shot, for many reasons, but we (still) think it'd be a great showcase for his brand of talent. So we decided to approach him and to gauge his interest, since he'd discussed Broadway dreams before. And there, our troubles began...

(2/?) So, five years ago, we approached Thomas through his then-management, Reboot the People, a company that managed a *lot* of content creators back then. (Their remains still exist on Twitter @RTPfamily.) They may have been a little out of their depth when they heard our pitch, and wisely looped in his agent at the time, Ty Flynn at UTA, from whom we heard... nothing. Okay, maybe it wasn't his thing; we had other projects to pursue and we moved on but... we still kept an eye on his content.

(4/?) When we returned to the project a couple years later, Thomas was still a favorite for the part for which we had him in mind, and building a much bigger audience than before, so we decided to reach out again. The business fawsterdog email address, as I'm sure fans have discovered by now, is useless. No one there ever got back to us. More than that, when we tried to learn who was managing him now (at times pleading on Twitter and during streams for info), we kept hitting dead ends.

(5/?) We finally managed to obtain a lead when we watched the "NO ADDED SUGAR for a MONTH!" video, and someone described as Thomas's manager actually appeared on camera, Matt Hogen, the president of Direct Artist Management. Further Googling revealed Matt had apparently been his manager as far back as 2013, way earlier than we'd been directed to Reboot The People for business inquiries. To say this runaround was confusing as hell, *even for show business*, is the understatement to end them all!!!

(6/6) At that point, after all that confusion, we just gave up!! If we have to chase someone's representation to the ends of the earth, only to find out there was one person we should have been talking to the whole time, it's probably more convoluted behind the scenes, and we don't need that extra stress in our lives. Watching the recent storms unfold, and wondering how true to life the "Putting Others First" video is, we can only assume he likes the *idea* of career more than really having one...

(I lied, 7/7) Bottom line: he presents a picture of unreliability and a lack of professionalism both to his fans and to industry people, and -- assuming there's *any* autobiographical truth to Sanders Sides content -- it may be because he's deliberately not taking this seriously. If losing out on big opportunities is the price he pays for keeping his mental health and well being in check, that's fine. But it's not how you succeed in this business... in any business, really. I wish him the best...

Wow, that is a lot.

Well for starters (and I hope you don't take this the wrong way) I am the tiniest bit skeptical about this story being true. I mean I can definitely see it happening giving Thomas and the team's track record, but there are just a few things that make me hesitate.

For one thing I'm surprised that a professional producer found their way onto my blog (which I try to keep out of the open) and took the time to read through some asks then send an ask of their own. Not that it's impossible of course, because here you are. But you know anyone can claim to be anyone so I hope you don't mind my skepticism here.

And admittedly I'm not entirely sure how the producing world works along with agents, especially when it comes to getting someone cast for your show. I can't see Thomas turning an opportunity down like that unless he just wasn't interested or never knew about it.

Which, honestly, if you did try getting into contact with his agent and he was told about it and wasn't interested then ya know, the least they could do was tell you so you could start looking for someone else.

I did also find the Twitter account for Reboot The People and yeah, it's long since abandoned and I'm wondering how you even got directed there in the first place when he had a manager already (if I'm understanding the time line right)

I do kinda question the whole asking for answers in streams bit (since Thomas rarely if ever does public live streams and I don't think he did much back then the only streams he does consistently now are for patreons) and he never leaves them up anyway so it's not like I could go back and look through the chats (not that I would because I ain't got time for that) but again, it's not impossible for that to have happened. Just a tiny detail my brain got hooked on.

Even if I'm still somewhat doubtful about your story (again please don't take it the wrong way I just like to be sure before I 100% believe something) I do agree about Thomas and the team's lack of professionalism, just look at the Story Time Madlibs situation, and they continue to make decisions (especially within the patreon) that just continue to baffle me.

I mean at the end of the day no one knows what's going on behind the scenes. And as it stands Thomas has found enough success with YouTube where he's stable enough to make it his full time job and can go months or even a year without posting a video.

But he even brings this point up in one of his Sanders Sides videos that YouTube isn't a stable job, and you never know when everything can suddenly flip and before ya know it the job ain't as stable anymore, and at that point you've gotta have some kinda back up plan for if things go south.

Because eventually (and I've already seen it happening) people will just get bored without new content or just grow out of it and they'll move on. Even if they've got nothing against the creator, that's just what happens. Some will stick around but even then no one's bound to last forever. Especially when there's always new stuff to be found.

But hey, he's good where he's at for now so I guess one might as well enjoy it while they can. I would like to see him succeed in actually securing a bigger role (whether in a film, Broadway, or even a TV show) because I think he'd do really well and he has been contacted by Disney before to be in one of their shows so who knows?

[stubbornness-and-spite]

A Time for Secrets and a Place for Truth

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Summary: There were a million ways it could have gone and a million reasons why. Is this the one that happened or just another sweeter lie? But of the two who they knew would speak, only one had a liar’s sweet tooth. So let’s pretend for just a moment, that this is the place for truth.

AKA: Anxiety and Deceit(or is it Virgil and Janus?) have a much needed talk

Pairings: platonic anxceit, I guess you could read it as past-romantic

Characters: Virgil, Janus, all others mentioned

Genre: conflict resolution, offscreen hurt/onscreen comfort

Warnings: vague spoilers for POF

Notes: implied to have happened after POF but I’m purposefully not clear, self-repost because I found out that it won’t show up in the tags if the original has a link. Check my masterpost for AO3 links(pinned on my blog)

There were a million different ways it could have happened and a million different things that could have triggered it, but everyone knew it was coming.

Everyone knew that eventually the tension between Virgil and Janus(they knew him as Deceit when they first thought it, but eventually, even in their own minds, they started calling him Janus. Some took to it with grace, some with nonchalance, and some with scorn, but they did and it happened and that much none of them would argue with) would come to a head.

They all knew it.

If some of them had been a little bit worse, they would have bet on when and where. If some of them had been a little bit better, they wouldn’t have.

They could have considered their knowing to be speculation, but it was more than that. It was inevitable.

And since they all knew, it hardly even needed to be said.

But it was. And it went something like this:

~

“You told me I could never be anything other than a villain,” Virgil spat, advancing on Deceit with each accusation. “You told me I could never be anything but hated. You told me that no matter how hard I tried, the only way they would ever love me was if I was someone else. Remember that? Do you really expect me to forgive you?”

Deceit pointedly didn’t flinch. He looked at Virgil with that patronizing expression that Virgil had always hated, that had tainted the best parts of his relationship with Patton because, at their core, Morality and Deceit were far too much alike. “Because of course, I, Deceit, am a beacon of truth and honesty,” he sneered, nodding. “You should trust every word I say.” He didn’t hesitate. Hesitation was for cowards. “I don’t care about you. Why would I make up what I thought I needed to say to get you to stay?”

Virgil gaped at him, “You, better than anyone, knew how miserable I was.” It wasn’t a confession. There was very little left that Virgil could say to Deceit that would be considered a confession. After all, it wasn’t a confession if the other already knew. “Why would you want to guilt me into staying? Did you really think I would ever forgive you for that either?”

“Of course I did.” Deceit was very still. Virgil knew his physical tells, after all. “I knew you would forgive me for anything I said. I just wanted to hurt you.” He couldn’t keep his voice from softening anymore than Virgil could keep from understanding his true motivation.

“You were afraid.”

Deceit smiled, giving in to the inevitability of Virgil learning the truth. “Me? Never.”

Anxiety scoffed, “I’m Fear as much as you are Denial,” he whispered. “I know when someone’s afraid.” He let his voice grow stronger and gave away one of his last confessions. “I couldn’t tell before because I was so afraid all the time.” He thought he knew all there was and how much he should fear it. He thought he knew the truth, but Deceit always had been good at his job. “What did you have to be afraid of?”

Deceit let his voice shake and his breath catch. There was a time for secrets and a place for truth. This was not the time but it was the place. “I was absolutely not afraid of being alone,” he lied. The truth scared him, far more than he would admit and even as he gave away his secrets, Deceit clung to the security of lies. They always did taste sweeter and sound better. “I wanted you to leave and I wanted to do my job without you there to get in the way. You really did me a favor, so thanks, Anxiety.”

“Falling back into old habits?” Anxiety taunted.

Deceit scoffed. “Like you’re not.”

Virgil took a breath and burst out, “I’m sorry I hurt you, Dee, but I won’t apologize for picking myself for once and leaving.”

Deceit laughed, long, loud, and uncensored. “Selfishness is awful and unhealthy, remember, Anxiety? I really can’t forgive you for it.” He frowned. “I never could stand you and I still hate you. I don’t trust you,” he choked out. Deceit stopped and shook his head. It was the place for truth. It was time to stop relying on what kept him safe before. It was time to stop being afraid. “I should have trusted you more. Virgil, I should have trusted you. I shouldn’t have taken your name and never offered mine.”

“Deceit. Stop.” Virgil lunged forward and grabbed his wrists, pinning him but making sure that his grip stayed on top of Deceit’s gloves and didn’t brush his skin. “You trusted me in the ways that mattered as far as you could.” They had never had a healthy relationship. They had never been able to trust each other unconditionally. It would do them no good now to pretend that they had ever acted in anything other than their own self-interest. “Keep your name. I always wanted to give you mine anyway but once there was nothing you could do with it, we weren’t talking anymore.” There was no point in pretending they had been something they weren’t, but there was no point in pretending that was all they could ever be either. “Tell me when you’re ready and if you want to tell anyone or everyone else first, then do it.”

“Thank you,” Deceit breathed out. “I wish I was ready to trust you more.”

Virgil smiled a bit. “Truth,” he accused.

“I really did love you, Anxiety. Not in the way you needed or the way that Patton and the others can or even unconditionally, but I did love you.”

Virgil ducked his head, biting back a laugh. “Yeah, Dee,” he said, letting go of his final confession, “Me too.”

~

None of them knew exactly why it happened because the only two who were there didn’t care to share, but they all knew that it happened and (to varying degrees of accuracy) how it happened.

Patton would insist it was after that first breakfast, when Roman was still hurting and Janus was still hesitant.

Logan would think that it happened before that, that the conversation between the two former friends had been what spurred Janus to reveal his name to them in the first place.

Roman would declare that he didn’t care when or why it happened, but privately, he and Remus agreed that it probably happened after Roman and Janus mended fences because Virgil was far more loyal to Roman than he ever was to Janus. Neither of them thought that was a bad thing or a good thing, but they agreed on it.

Janus claimed it never happened at all.

Virgil would admit it happened, but nothing more, only shooting Janus a look if pressed and biting back a smile

[callboxkat]

Quiet (part 18)

Author’s note: I was rather self-indulgent in this part. I think you guys will like it, too.

Warnings: college, selective mutism, reference to past panic attack, guilt, mentions of illness

Word count: 1733

Masterpost!

Not long after Patton and Logan found out about what had been going on with V, and what had really happened at the infamous movie night, everyone departed the park. Logan and V each drove home separately, and Patton drove Roman back to campus to fetch his car. Along the way, the two of them had a talk.

Patton never looked at Roman, just talking as he drove and keeping his tone neutral.

Roman already felt conflicted about things, having of course seen how upset V had looked at the park. Nevertheless, at first, as Patton explained what he and Logan claimed to have discovered about V, Roman felt defiant and self-defensive. However, while a part of him wanted to break in and justify himself, he knew that Patton would only silence him. And anyway, the longer Patton spoke, the less defiant Roman felt. Instead he felt… shame.

The story about being unable to talk at certain times had seemed a little ridiculous at first, but Roman realized that it actually made a lot of sense. He recalled when V had confronted him outside of their American History course. V had only been able to say one word (“Hey!”) and then had looked to be chewing gum or something of the like. Roman supposed that that could have been a sign that V was fighting to get words out.

And, oh, when Patton got to that awful movie night. Roman actually covered his face when Patton, his voice shaking slightly, recounted that part of the story. When he revealed that V had, upon not being able to pay for his pizza, apparently had a panic attack and passed out in an alleyway. And none of them had found him, let alone helped.

And then Roman had gone and torn up the money when V had tried to pay him back (even if V had done so in a rather rude way).

Roman had to make this right.

…

Roman wasn’t in class on Thursday.

None of them—Logan, Patton, and Virgil—had seen him since the day before, when they all departed from the park. Logan and Virgil had each driven home alone, but Patton told Virgil that he and Roman had had a talk as Patton drove him back to campus to get his car.

“He seemed kind of conflicted,” Patton admitted after class. The three of them were leaving the building together. “He didn’t say much while I was explaining things to him.”

“What did you tell him?” Virgil had asked.

“Just the truth, kiddo.” Virgil had groaned at that, but Patton at least had the grace to look slightly ashamed. “He deserves to know, V.”

Virgil supposed that maybe that was true, but why did everyone have to know everything? Who was going to take him seriously knowing how pathetic he was?

Damn it.

“I still do not understand why he did not attend class,” Logan commented.

“Well… I don’t really know, either,” Patton shrugged. “Maybe he needed some time to think about things.”

“He could be sick,” Logan supposed.

Virgil raised an eyebrow, glancing back at Logan. They all knew Roman wasn’t sick.

Besides, even if he was, Virgil was pretty sure he would show up anyway. Roman didn’t seem like the type to miss class for an illness, especially not a mild one. Besides, Roman had seemed just fine on Wednesday.

Logan didn’t seem to understand what Virgil was trying to convey, so Virgil just sighed and looked back ahead. They were almost at the entrance now.

“Well, have a good night, everybody,” Patton said, looking at his friends with a smile. The three of them parted ways, but as he walked to his car, Virgil couldn’t help but keep an eye out for Roman’s signature crimson jacket. There was no sign of it.

…

It was Friday night.  

They were skipping movie night again. No one had said so, but Virgil knew. Patton knew. Logan knew. And Joan and Talyn, of course, knew too. Joan had just texted Patton to confirm—the only one to actually decide it was worth doing so.

Besides, the group of friends still had yet to hear anything from Roman. Apparently, he hadn’t gone to any of his classes since Wednesday. Logan was still claiming that sickness was a possibility, but Virgil could tell that even he didn’t believe that. They all knew Roman was avoiding them. One of them in particular.

At the moment, Virgil was at his apartment, just scrolling through random social media. He’d gotten off of work about an hour before, and he was looking forward to getting to just relax for a bit and try to forget about what was going on. He was about to start watching a vine compilation when his phone screen lit up with a text message notification.

Princey: This is Roman. Dont know if u deleted my #.

Princey: Can we talk???

Virgil stared at the messages uncertainly.

Princey: V?

His fingers hovered noncommittally over the keyboard before quickly typing and sending a curt reply.

V: Sup princey

Princey: Am I still Princey in ur phone?

Princey: Nvm, not important. I want to talk to u.

V: here I am

Princey: No no like TALK to u.

Ugh. Virgil didn’t feel like going anywhere. He was tired from class and work, and besides, why did he have to go out just to get lectured again?

Princey: If u give me ur address I could go there

A long pause.

Princey: Pls??

Virgil sighed, running a hand over his face.

You know what? He thought. Fine. Roman already had such a low opinion of him, what would this matter?

Virgil sent his address.

…

Was this a prank?

Roman was definitely at the right address. He’d checked four times. But… this couldn’t be right. The address V had given him led to a dilapidated old building, with crumbly brown bricks and ivy and broken windows. The lawn leading up to it, where it wasn’t in large dead patches, was overgrown and full of weeds. The sidewalk was a broken leg waiting to happen. V couldn’t live here.

V: What’s taking so long, princey?

Princey: might be at wrong place

V: You’re not.

Well, okay, that was a completely normal and not at all foreboding response. But Roman just shifted the box under his arm and approached the building anyway.

Next to the main door of the building was a panel he could use to request entry from different apartments. He pressed the button labelled 3B—V’s apartment number. Beside it was a white label with R Night, V Thompson written on it. So, V’s last name was Thompson. That was new information.

He waited a few seconds, then heard a buzz, and the lock clicked open. Roman pushed open the door and walked into a dark hallway.

…

V resumed his pacing as soon as he pressed the button to let Roman in. Remy wasn’t home at the moment to stop him, so why not?

There was a knock at the door, and Virgil stopped. He padded up to the door and looked through the peephole. Of course, it was Roman, so he opened the door.

“Um… hi,” Roman said, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else at that exact second. Virgil could relate.

Virgil took a half step back, then waved Roman in in a lackadaisical manner as he walked back into the main room. He heard the creak of a floorboard as the junior stepped inside, then the door shutting with a click.

Virgil cleared his throat, hummed a second, and then spoke. “What’d you come to say?” he asked, glad that his voice decided to cooperate for once. “Just get it over with.”

He flopped down on the couch, looking up at Roman expectantly. To his slight surprise, the other student just shuffled over to the couch and sat beside him—not too close, but still.  Virgil noticed for the first time that he had a box (a gift box?) with him.

“I’m sorry,” Roman said simply.

Virgil stared at him.

“Patton told me about—about what happened. And I….”

Virgil nodded. He knew about their conversation.

“I had everything so wrong. And I hope you can forgive me.” He moved the box from his side so that it was sitting on his lap. “And, well… I know this doesn’t fix things, but… but, um….” For once, it was Roman having trouble with words. The tips of his ears were starting to turn red. He thrust the box towards Virgil. “You know, maybe it’s better if you just open it.”

Virgil took the box, raising an eyebrow at Roman questioningly. He put the gift box on his own lap, and after a second’s hesitation, slowly untied the bow and removed the wrapping paper. He opened the box.

...

Roman was watching him carefully, but V didn’t seem to react. He was just staring into the box. Roman tried to stammer out an explanation.

“I, um… You never told Patton what happened, but… I can’t help but assume it has to do with me. So… so I… I decided to try to at least make something right.”

V reached into the box, and pulled out a carefully folded bundle of fabric.

“It’s…. I have to admit I found the old one a bit drab. So I… I saw your new shoes, and I noticed that the laces are sort of purple. And I just… kind of ran with that.”

Roman’s heart was pounding, and gosh, he was nervous. Why wasn’t V reacting? Did he hate it? Did he just hate Roman too much to accept his apology?

V let the garment unfold in his hands, so he was holding up his new hoodie, in all its purple and black angsty glory, in front of him.

Roman shifted uncomfortably, and he tried to look any sign of what the younger man was thinking.

And then he noticed—V wasn’t staring at the garment in disgust, or disdain, or boredom. He looked almost mesmerized. He ran a thumb over the white stitches that held one of the purple plaid patches in place. He inspected the sleeves and found the zippers that ran down them from the elbow to the wrist.

V put it on.

He smiled.

And Roman couldn’t help but smile back.

Tag list: @patton-loves-coloring @starryfirefliesbloggo @purplesoul-at-hogwarts  @lotusthatexists @lizaelsparrow @awesomelissawho @amuthefunperson @faithfreedom @bunny222 @syndianites @astraastro @momolinia @hamilin-manuel-miranda @goldenkiddos @afilhadehades-blog @virgeofselfdestruction @theresneverenoughfandoms @iris-sanders-athena @super-magical-wizard @jesjessode @rainbow-sides @thefallendog @fanficptsd @zodiac-awesome @lookitsthatquietgirl @soft-boy-patton @nerd-in-space @pearls-of-patton @ab-artist @angered-turtle @im-so-infinitesimal @enby-kiddo-with-a-blog @raygelkitty

[serious-ppl-wear-neckties]

Nightmares

Summary- Virgil has a nightmare, but thankfully, Logan is there to help

Words- 1,100

Pairing- platonic analogical, because I’m analogical trash

This is my very first sanders sides fanfic, and I’m pretty nervous about posting this, but if I don’t do it now, I never will. Also, considering this blog was started very recently, I doubt anyone’s gonna see this anyways so... why not?

Blood. There was blood everywhere, and Virgil almost choked on the thick smell of iron in the air. No. No no no no no. He screwed up. Everything went wrong, and it was all his fault. He could have prevented this. He caused this.

Pathetic. Worthless. Idiotic. The insults ran through Virgil’s mind. You had one job. To protect them. And look what you did.

It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. It’s my fault it’s my fault it’s my fault. itsmyfaultitsmyfaultitsmyfault.

The darkness surrounded him. Virgil buried his face in his hands. It was coming for him too. He was next. And he deserved it.

It lunged at him, a flurry of slashing claws and gnashing teeth. It tackled him to the ground, and sunk its teeth into Virgil’s neck, ripping out his throat and—

Virgil gasped, and jerked up. Panting, he ran his fingers through his hair and tried to stop shaking. Just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. Virgil hugged his pillow, and worked on steadying his breathing. His left hand was throbbing too. Looking over, his bedside lamp was on the ground. He must have knocked it over without thinking.

It took a few moments, but Virgil managed to calm down, and stop the tremors going through his body. He hadn’t had a nightmare like that since Accepting Anxiety.

A sudden knock made Virgil look up, and stare at his bedroom door. He must have imagined it, surely there was no reason for one of the other sides to be up? Another few sharp knocks proved Virgil wrong.

“Virgil? Is everything alright?” Logan’s curt, but muffled voice sounded from outside. Virgil stumbled over to open the door, and did a double take when he was faced with the logical side in his pajamas and with crooked glasses set on his nose.

“What?” Was all Virgil managed to get out, rubbing at his eyes.

“I was merely up to fetch a glass of water, when I heard a scream from your room, accompanied by a loud crash. Are you in distress?”

Virgil blinked. “Oh. Uh, no, I’m fine. You should get back to sleep.” He lied.

Logan sighed. “Virgil, something is up, that is obvious. I assure you, it is likely that I could help with whatever is troubling you.”

“Is that your way of trying to get me to open up?” Virgil raised an eyebrow.

The other side merely gave him a knowing look. “Stop avoiding the question Virgil.”

Virgil sighed and gave in. “Ok fine, I had a nightmare. It’s nothing I can’t handle, I’ve had worse ok? You don’t need to worry about me.” He was so used to saying those words that they came out without thinking now.

“You’ve... had worse?” Logan furrowed his eyebrows. “Virgil, has… has this happened before?”

“Uhhh.” Virgil considered lying and trying to cover it up, but one look at the logical side and he knew Logan would see right through him. He groaned, and sat back down on the edge of his bed. “Just, don’t tell the others ok? I don’t… I don’t want any pity.”

Logan walked in, and his eyes flickered to the lamp still on the floor. “I understand.”

They stayed like that for a while, neither of them saying anything. Virgil stared determinedly at his hardwood floor, eyes fixed on an odd looking mark near his feet. Naturally, Logan was the one to break the silence. “Would you like me to bring you an ice pack? Your hand looks a bit injured.” He gestured toward Virgil’s swollen wrist and the red mark on his hand.

“Oh, uhhh, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.” Virgil murmured, turning a bit pink at the other side offering to get something for him when he could obviously do it himself. Logan nodded, and swiftly left to retrieve the item.

While he was gone, Virgil silently beat himself up for revealing such a vulnerability. He didn’t want anyone to waste their energy worrying about him, not when he wasn’t worth it. Maybe if he wasn’t so weak, they wouldn’t have to be worried in the first place.

“Virgil?” Said side’s head snapped up, to see Logan standing before him, holding an icepack, which was neatly wrapped in a paper towel. “I’m back.”

He held out the icepack, and Virgil took it, holding it to his hand. “Thanks.” He muttered, wincing a bit from the piercing cold.

There was a pause, and Virgil busied himself by continually adjusting and readjusting the icepack on his wrist, before Logan spoke.

“I will not intrude on your privacy any more than I have already by asking what the nightmare was about, but if it aids you in any way, know that whatever scenario it was, it is likely very improbable or not possible at all.” He said.

“Yeah. I just–it just reminded me of how bad I am at my job. At, you know, protecting Thomas.” And you guys, Virgil thought, pulling his knees to his chest. The sudden dip of the bed next to him made Virgil look up, to see Logan sitting next to him.

“You’re not bad at your job at all. You’ve gotten Thomas out of many sticky situations. You are more than adequate, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.” Logan assured.

“I guess. It’s just… knowing something is true and believing it are two very different things. And I know that sounds really illogical or whatever, but that’s the truth.” Virgil replied, not meeting Logan’s eyes.

He sighed. “I’m not going to say I understand it, because I don’t, but that doesn’t make it any less valid. And it might take some time to fully believe it, but you really do protect us, and any mistakes you might have made are perfectly understandable, as we all make mistakes, myself included.” Virgil almost snorted at the reluctant way Logan had said “myself included.”

“Thanks Logan. It means a lot to me.” Virgil gave him a weak smile. The end of Logan’s mouth quirked up in a barely noticeable smile as well, before he nodded, and got up from the bed.

Right when he was at the door, Logan turned back around. “Oh, and Virgil?”

“Yeah?”

“As for the nightmares themselves, consider taking on reading before bed, keeping the temperature cool, and perhaps investing in a white noise machine.”

Virgil chuckled. “Always the serious and practical one, aren’t you?”

“I would reference wearing a necktie if I had one on, but alas, it’s 1 am in the morning. Nevertheless however, yes. I am always the practical one.”

[singingpuppies]

rp with sanders-sides-rp-blog-12

Who: Patton and Roman.

Part: Two.

General Notes: When Patton woke up this morning, he was a regular guy. Now he's come to find out that he was kidnapped as a baby and he's actually a Prince, who's set up in an arranged marriage with another Prince named Roman. How will Patton react to so much changing in his life all at once? Especially when neither of the young princes want to marry someone they've just met?

Warnings: None just lots of cute.

PATTON

Patton smiled a bit more before laughing. "It is now officially my goal to make you laugh so hard that something comes out of your nose." he said with a smile before thinking a moment. "I'm not gonna lie, now that I brought up the ice cream, that's kind of all I can think about..." he said with a laugh. "If you couldn't tell, I really like dessert. Making it, eating it..." he trailed off as a random thought popped into his head. "I wonder how quickly you'd get brain freeze if you ate ice cream upside down..." he thought aloud, okay... he'd definitely gotten comfortable enough around Roman to just be himself and say whatever silly thought popped into his head.

ROMAN

"Well, on the topic of ice cream, we do have a cook down on the kitchens who makes absolutely wonderful ice cream- and it jut so happens that she's a friend of mine. Your ice cream goal could be achievable!" He says with a smile, standing up again, and waiting for Patton to stand, before deciding that he was going too slowly, and simply picking him on his back and sprinting down to the kitchen instead.

PATTON

Patton smiled when Roman pointed out that they had a cook in the kitchens who made amazing ice cream. "That sounds incredible." he said, about to take Roman's hand and stand himself up when he suddenly felt Roman pick him up, letting out a small, surprised squeak before laughing.

ROMAN

Roman grins, running down to the kitchens with Patton, sliding down banisters that he usually wouldn't Something about being with Patton made him feel... alive. He gets to the kitchens- and he's a little out of breath but still okay, and he pushes open the doors, still holding Patton.

PATTON

Patton still couldn't completely understand how Roman managed his way through this place without getting lost. Patton didn't know if he'd ever mentally map out this place well enough to be able to navigate the way Roman did. Part of him wondered if they'd get in trouble for this, it's not like they'd had dinner yet and here they were grabbing ice cream but he was having way too much fun to really care. Laughing a bit more when Roman actually reached the kitchen, he made a mental note to look around while he had the chance... see what he had to work with when he wanted to bake.

ROMAN

Roman carries Patton in, smiling when he saw one of the cooks near the back of the kitchens. “Well, if it isn’t the most talented cook in all the lands!” Roman says brightly, going for flattery. Even if the cook loved him, it never hurt to butter her up before asking for something. “And if it isn’t a royal pain in the ass.” She says fondly, turning to look at Roman. She sees Patton on his back. “And you brought someone too! This is the fiancé, right?” Roman nods. “We were going to do stupid stuff before the wedding, so we were wondering if we could have some ice cream? Like enough to make our stomachs hurt?” Roman says. The cook rolls her eyes. “Sure, just don’t let your parents know I let you.”

PATTON

Patton watched the interaction between Roman and the cook, smiling a bit to himself. Patton waited for Roman to set him down so he could introduce himself. "Nice to meet you, I'm Patton." he said with a shy smile before looking back at Roman as he explained why they were there, smiling more when she agreed as long as they didn't let their parents know. He knew they'd have a problem with it. But something about hearing that said struck a chord with him. While he hadn't known it at the time, he'd been kidnapped, and his entire life had been spent not doing things he really wanted to do because he was told he wasn't allowed to... he wasn't really safe, and there was a part of him that always knew that. But if he and Roman got caught now, the most that would happen was they'd probably get in a little trouble... he'd met his mother, she was wonderful, she wouldn't hurt him for eating ice cream... which meant... did Patton actually finally have the freedom to live a little? 

To rebel just the tiniest bit if it was in the name of fun? That kind of power went right to Patton's head and the realization of it all was pretty overwhelming. "We can do whatever we want..." he whispered before smiling a bit, not realizing his words weren't entirely true but they were more true than they'd ever been for him before, and he felt his smile grow a bit more as he bounced on the balls of his feet excitedly... suddenly grabbing Roman. "Roman, we can do whatever we want! Did you know that?!" he squeaked before letting out a small, happy laugh. When he'd gotten here he thought he was going from one trap to another. Kidnapped to forced into a marriage, but when he thought about it, this was the most free he'd ever been, and he really liked it.

ROMAN

Roman watches Patton, looking at him when he suddenly grabs his arm, and he giggles. “Well not whatever, but yeah mostly! You’re a prince now, well, you’ll be a king in a few days... but we /can/ do whatever we want!” Roman says. It wasn’t exactly true, but he was caught up in wanting to do stupid things and just be a kid for a day or two more. Roman grins, pulling Patton along to the freezer, opening it to reveal copious amounts of frozen food, and Roman reveals a shitton if ice cream- more ice cream than the two of them could ever hope to eat. “What flavors do you want Patton?”

PATTON

Sure, Patton had been the one to suggest they do a ton of crazy, out there, childish things before the wedding, but he was half joking. He wanted to do it all, but he hadn't believed they actually could do it all, maybe they could get away with one or two things... but now he realized they could do it all if they really wanted to. Patton could do things if he wanted to and that felt so different and freeing. There was definitely no way that feeling was going to go away in a few days when Patton was suddenly a King. Patton still didn't see himself as a Prince. He was just a guy who wanted to make people happy and have fun and create memories... and he was still going to be that guy after the marriage. 

Patton was still going to be his normal, childish, fun loving self, and he couldn't even think about how other people might feel about that because right now all he could think about was how free he felt. When Roman pulled him to the freezer, his eyes went a bit wide. "Woah... uh... the... I don't know..." he stuttered, a bit overwhelmed because this was probably the most crazy thing he'd ever done, and he was still feeling a bit crazed from that level of freedom. He'd thought the garden was going to be his new favorite place, but nope, it was definitely in here with all this ice cream.

ROMAN

Roman could definitely also get onto the agenda of keeping his inner child alive. He had been forced to grow up quickly- pushed onto the battlefields and into politics and everything else way too young, and now, where he least expected it- Patton, who he was supposed to marry in two days, was helping bring his inner child back. He looks around, seeing a container labeled strawberry, he grabs it. “The strawberry ice cream is the best, and the chocolate is good too, and she makes the best green tea ice cream!” He says excitedly, looking to Patton with a big smile. He wasn’t too thrilled about getting married, but if it had to be anyone, he was glad that it was Patton.

PATTON

Patton watched Roman as he grabbed the container with the strawberry ice cream. Ice cream was definitely one of his top favorite desserts, of course that top spot of favorite dessert of all time was reserved for cookies, but ice cream and cookies went together pretty well in his opinion. Plus Patton would eat cookies all the time if he could not just after a meal, so they were really more of a snack than a dessert the way he went about eating them. "There's green tea ice cream?" he asked in awe, he'd never heard of that before.

ROMAN

Roman nods, grabbing it as well. He holds the cartons of ice cream in one arm, grabbing Patton's hand with the other, and pulling him out of the freezer, grabbing spoons- they wouldn't need bowls anyway. "Back to our room?" he asks. It was weird to say 'our' room, to Roman. He was so used to being in a room on his own, sharing seemed... weird to him.

PATTON

Patton nodded before following Roman to their room. Huh, that was the first time anyone had referred to it as their room. It was weird to hear, but in a way, kind of nice. Patton had always been alone, but he didn't actually feel comfortable or like being alone, so knowing he shared the room with Roman made him feel a lot better. When they arrived in the room, he sat himself down eager to try the green tea ice cream. "So what are we suppose to do while we stuff our faces? In true inner child fashion, is this where we play truth or dare?" he laughed a bit as he fiddled with the spoon in his hands.

ROMAN

Roman opened the containers of ice cream, placing them down in front of Patton, and sitting across from him. "Hmm, I haven't played truth or dare in forever, so I'd say that's a yes!" He says with a smile, taking a spoonful of the strawberry ice cream and putting it into his mouth. It reminded him of how when he was little, he'd always pester the cooks into giving him sweets before dinner.

PATTON

Patton had never actually played truth or dare, but the game seemed pretty self explanatory, so he figured he'd be fine. Sticking the spoon in the green tea ice cream, he decided since he was the one who brought it up, he'd go first, bringing the spoon up to his mouth. "Da..." he couldn't even finish the word because wow this ice cream was good. "Oh my goodness this is amazing!" he squeaked excitedly. What had he been saying? Oh yeah, they were playing a game. "Dare." he finished with a small smile before grabbing another spoonful of ice cream.

ROMAN

"I know, right?" Roman says with a smile, taking another bite of his own ice cream. "Dare... hm... I dare you to- ooh! Slide down the main banister! It's a little scary the first time you do it but it's so much fun!" he says with a smile.

PATTON

Patton blinked at what Roman had come up with. He wasn't necessarily scared to try it, it sounded fun. But he knew he was really clumsy so he just hoped this game didn't result in him walking down the aisle with a cast. "I can do that. Do you want me to do it right now?" he asked, taking a larger spoonful of ice cream and stuffing it into his mouth just incase Roman wanted him to go do it right now and it'd be a few minutes that he'd be away from the dessert.

ROMAN

"Yeah we could go now. But you can bring your ice cream." Roman says with a giggle, seeing Patton shoveling the dessert into his mouth as though he'd never get another chance.

PATTON

Patton shrugged. "It's okay, we're coming right back." he said, taking one more spoonful before following Roman to the main banister because, he certainly didn't know where anything was in this huge place. He wasn't really scared to climb up on the banister and slide down, though it was a lot bigger than he'd realized when he'd agreed. Still, while Patton had never really been much of a risk taker, he was still in the zone of being able to do anything he wanted for the first time in his life and he wanted to jump at every opportunity. He did pretty well until he reached the bottom, nearly falling off at the end. He managed to grab hold and catch himself... his glasses weren't as lucky. 

Hearing them hit the ground he could tell by the sound they'd made that they'd broken but Patton was fairly use to walking around with glasses he'd taped back together. It hadn't even crossed his mind that now that he was a Prince it would probably be incredibly easy to get new pairs when they broke from now on... "It's okay, I've got tape in my bag!" he called out to Roman as he attempted to pull himself back up so he could climb down safely without actually falling himself, although he was a little nervous about getting down without being able to see... not wanting to step on his glasses by accident... wherever they'd landed.

ROMAN

Roman smiles as he leads Patton to the steps, watching as he slid down the railing and drawing in a breath when he fell. "Patton! Are you okay?" he asks, dashing down the steps, hopping over the railing of the last few steps and stopping next to him. "No nonsense- we can get you a new pair, or we can get them properly fixed." Roman says. "Are you sure you aren't hurt?" he asks, worried for Patton.

PATTON

Patton nodded. "I'm okay." he said as he ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to fix how messy it had gotten. Patton had always been a pretty clumsy guy, so at this point he barely noticed when he'd tumble or fall unless he ended up seriously injured. "That was pretty fun... I can see why you wanted me to try that." he said, squinting a bit as he tried to get Roman to look less... blurry. Feeling around for his glasses, he finally managed to find them... if he just put a little tape right in the middle they'd be good as new. Though, when Roman insisted that he get a new pair, or get this pair fixed, he tilted his head slightly. 

"Really?" he asked. He'd probably still need to tape these up and wear them temporarily until he got a new pair, and he'd probably keep these once he did get that new pair for sentimental reasons, but it would be nice to have a new pair of glasses. It'd been a while since he'd had a new pair. "I'm good. Well, not good because there's ice cream with my name on it just... sitting in our room melting but... you know, physically." he said with a smile as he gestured to his body with his hands.

ROMAN

Roman nods, carefully putting the broken glasses in his breast pocket, before picking Patton up bridal style. He carries him up the steps back to their room. Roman was fond of carrying people around, and not many people let him do it- so you could bet that Patton isn't going to be walking anywhere if Roman has any sort of excuse to carry him at all. And a potentially hurt Pat? Well that's certainly an excuse. Roman carries Patton back, setting him down next to the ice cream again. "Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if you married the ice cream instead of me." he says with a little laugh.

PATTON

Patton had to admit, he kind of liked when Roman picked him up. It was nice, really nice. When he felt Roman set him down, he dug under the bed until he found his bag, digging through it in an attempt to find the tape he knew he had in there in case of an emergency just like this one. "I would, but I'm actually in a committed relationship with cookies right now, and things are getting pretty serious." he said, attempting to be as serious as possible, but the combination of how silly that sentence actually was and the joy of finding the tape being too much to keep him from smiling. Holding his hand out so Roman could hand him his glasses back, he looked back up, attempting to spot Roman. "I completely understand if you're jealous of the cookies, just please don't fight them for my love, because I will cry if the cookie crumbles." he joked as he scrunched his nose a bit. Once his glasses were fixed he slid them on his face and picked the spoon back up, ready to give his attention back to that green tea ice cream. "It's your turn, you know." he reminded with a smile.

ROMAN

"Oh really? I never thought it would be the cookies. Darling you betray me so!" Roman says dramatically with a giggle. Roman hands Patton's glasses back. He laughs a bit at Patton's joke. He thinks for a long moment when it was his turn. "My turn..." he could choose dare, but he didn't really want to /do/ anything at the moment. "I'm going to be a wuss and choose truth." Roman says with a smile, taking a bite of the strawberry ice cream.

PATTON

Patton laughed at Roman's over dramatic response, smiling a bit more. He continued to eat the ice cream until he heard Roman pick truth. He put aside his dare idea for later and tried to think of something good he could ask. He had a lot of more deep, serious truths he could ask... but they were having fun and joking around and laughing and Patton wasn't so sure that making the moment serious was something Roman wanted. "Other than ugh, I don't want to get married to someone I've never met... what did you think of me when we first met?" he asked curiously, his eyebrows raising a bit. It was a potentially dangerous question, sure, Roman's first impression of Patton might not have been a good one... but it didn't have the potential for danger that some other questions he thought up had... at least he didn't think it did.

ROMAN

Roman thinks. He actually wasn't really sure. He could go with a joking answer, but he decides to answer honestly. "At first, I was relieved because there was one other person who looked as miserable as I did. But then I was glad that you looked like a nice person. I kinda thought 'hey, if it had to be someone, why not you', y'know?" he says, eating some more of his ice cream.

PATTON

Patton gave a small nod as he listened. Yeah, that was more or less what Patton had felt too. It was both upsetting and comforting that there was someone as upset as he was. Comforting because at least someone else got it, but upsetting because he hated to think of someone else feeling that way, and in a weird way, it was because of him. But once he got to know Roman a little more, he was really happy to know him. He liked Roman a lot, and if he had to be stuck in this situation, he was glad it was with a guy as nice as fun as Roman. "Yeah, that's pretty much how I would've answered too." he said with another bite of his ice cream. "I guess I'll switch it up and go truth this time." he said with a smile.

ROMAN

Roman smiles. He was glad that Patton had gotten a pretty good first impression of him. Roman thinks for a second. What could he ask Patton? He didn't want to do anything too deep, didn't want to have Patton spill his guts when they had only known him for a few days. "Hmm- what is most important to you?" he asks, wanting to know what mattered to Patton.

PATTON

Patton tilted his head a bit at the question. "Well, do you mean like... material positions, cause, I don't really own that much." he supposed he could finally tell Roman about his stuffed frog that he'd just found out was from his mother. "Or are we going deep and you mean like... what in life is important to me?" he asked curiously before taking another spoonful of ice cream. "Cause I guess I'd just say... having fun, and making people happy. I was trapped my whole life and I've got a lot of lost time to make up for. Plus, I don't like the thought of anyone else feeling trapped or lonely or... any of that negative stuff I felt, so I like going out of my way to do nice things for people, so I can maybe brighten their day a little." he said with a shy shrug. "So, you know, kindness, compassion, and lots of fun."

ROMAN

"That sounds- that sounds like a really good way to live actually." Roman says with a soft smile. Doing your best to make others happy? That sounded very sweet... very Patton. Roman thinks- he wasn't like Patton though, was he. He wasn't selfless and sweet. He shakes the thoughts out of his head, smiling a bit at him. "So, my turn again? Dare." he says, feeling a bit bolder.

PATTON

Patton smirked a bit when Roman picked dare. "Oh, you are gonna regret that choice because I have a really intense dare for you." Patton said as he playfully twirled his spoon. "I dare you, to be fully responsible for getting rid of any and all spiders that we may come across for the rest of our lives, and the rest of time, until we both die, and then also after we die..." he said. It sounded like something Patton would say jokingly... Roman's dare was to forever be in charge of protecting Patton from spiders? It definitely fit the description of some of the silly things they'd said to one another, but you could tell by the way Patton had said it and how serious his face had gotten that nope... yeah, he was completely serious. He actually wanted Roman to agree to this.

ROMAN

Roman giggles, before realizing Patton was serious. He put on his serious voice. "Patton, my dear, I vow to protect you from spiders until the end of time." Roman swears, placing his hand over his heart. Roman could handle spiders- but he definitely understood Patton for not liking them.

PATTON

Patton's face lit up with appreciation when Roman promised to protect him from any and all spiders the two of them may eventually come in contact with. "Thank you!" he squeaked before all but tackling Roman, giving him the biggest hug. When he finally pulled away, he thought about choosing dare himself, but that might mean getting up and he was too happy sitting here with Roman and his ice cream. He'd pick dare next time. "Truth." he said, returning to his usual less than serious self.

ROMAN

Roman smiles and laughs when Patton wraps him in a hug, and he holds him for a few moments, then let’s him go back to his ice cream. “Truth?” He stops, considering. Then he bursts into a fit of laughter. He grabs a piece of string and ties it into a circle. He gets down on one knee, still giggling. “Marry me?” He asks, cracking a smile, and holding out the string. “I figured I should at least get to properly propose right?”

PATTON

Patton tilts his head when Roman suddenly laughs and starts fiddling with a piece of string, trying to figure out what it was he was going to do. He couldn't quite put together what his actions could have to do with a question he'd ask for truth. When Roman suddenly got down on one knee and asked him to marry him, however, using the tied up string as a make shift right, Patton's face lit up and he let out a giggle as he covered his mouth. Patton would've been lying if he said that there wasn't a part of him that was disappointed that neither of them got to propose. 

That this was all just, set up, so even if this was just Roman being silly and joking around while they played a game and made themselves sick on ice cream, it did mean a lot to Patton... who was working really hard not to cry right now because Roman was just kidding around, relax, it's not something to actually get that emotional about, Patton. Giggling again, he nodded, a smile on his face. "Yes, yeah, I'll marry you." he said happily. "I mean, you've agreed to protect me from spiders, you've given me far too much ice cream, and you're really good at giving hugs so I'd say I pretty much lucked out and got the best husband ever." Patton said with a small raise of his shoulders before smiling a bit more.

ROMAN

Roman smiles when Patton accepts his proposal, smiling even more when he says he lucked out. So yes, the wedding is fake and Patton is just his friend, but there’s something… nice, about actually getting to propose to him. Made him feel as though he was a bit more in control of his life. He stands, still laughing quietly, and slips the string onto Patton’s finger, tying it so that it wouldn’t fall off. He smiles, picking Patton up again and wrapping him in a hug. “There, now you’re /really/ my fiance.”

PATTON

Patton smiled more when Roman picked him up and hugged him. Roman was right, it did somehow feel more real now, but not in a scary way, in a nice way. Sure, Patton certainly did not feel ready to get married yet, or be royalty for that matter, but if it all had to happen, it was nice that it was happening with Roman. Reluctantly pulling away from the hug, he fiddled with the spoon in his hands. "Your turn." he said with a shy smile.

ROMAN

Roman sets Patton down again, and he sits on the floor. He also doesn’t really want to let go of the other- the contact was nice. He’s starting to get full, be he keeps eating the ice cream- the point was to eat until they couldn’t anymore. Roman thinks. “I think I’ll go with truth again.” He decides after a minute, looking to Patton for what his question would be.

PATTON

Patton thought about it a moment before deciding on his next question. "What would our wedding have been like if you'd gotten to plan it?" he asked curiously. While they were just friends, Roman really seemed like the romantic type, and he bet a wedding planned and put together by him would've been absolutely breathtaking. He wished they had more say in what they wanted. Patton knew what he'd have done differently if he'd had say in anything, he was curious about what Roman would do.

ROMAN

Roman grins. “Well- it would have been on a beach obviously. It would be at sunset, and the colors of everything would be beautifully bathed in light. But in my head it was going to be family only that was there, and friends, I I ever managed to get any. But all the flowers would have to be blue coreopsis, because they’re your favorite- and they’d match your eyes. The food would be exquisite, and everything would be perfect. And we’d have cookies and ice cream for dessert.” He says with a smile. “And this might sound a bit silly- but I’ve always wanted to have the doves that fly through after the kiss. It’s in no way practical, but it’s so pretty!” He says, smiling a bit when he was down talking. “Okay- truth or dare Pat?”

PATTON

Patton listened as Roman described his ideal wedding. It sounded incredible, much nicer than whatever their parents were planning, he was sure of that. It was pretty close to what Patton had pictured in his own head, other than the location. It was sort of nice to know that they more or less wanted the same things. In his mind he pictured it in that garden Roman had showed him earlier, then again, Patton had never been to a beach before so, maybe his perfect wedding location would change if he had. His felt his face go red when Roman stated that there would be blue coreopsis not only because they were his favorite, but because they'd match his eyes. Hearing it was his turn again, he snapped back into reality. "I think I'm up for another dare." he said, he hoped his glasses were up for it too this time around.

ROMAN 

“Hmm- dare you to be my partner in crime.” Roman says with a grin. “Even when we’re married and like old or whatever- you always gotta do stupid stuff with me. Like pull pranks on nobility- or take the horses out for a joyride in the middle of the night.” Roman smiles at him. If he had to dispose of spiders for the rest of their lives, he can ask Patton to do stupid things with him, right? And besides, he thinks Patton May just enjoy doing stupid things too.

PATTON

Patton smiled even more when Roman stated his next dare. "I am more than happy to always do stupid stuff with you, no matter how old I get. Challenge accepted." Patton said happily before allowing himself to go from sitting on the bed to laying on it. The lack of sleep he'd gotten the night before was starting to catch up with him and he was getting tired, but he did his best to stay awake. They'd probably get called to dinner soon, and Patton wanted to make a good semi first impression. It'd be his first time really talking to Roman's parents, and the first time he'd be meeting Roman's brother at all. He was just hoping for a sugar rush to kick in. "Although, I've never been on a horse, so that one might take like... practice... maybe, I have no idea what riding a horse entails. It seems like one of those things that can't possibly be as easy as people who know what they're doing make it look." he said.

ROMAN

Roman grins when Patton accepts, watching him flop down and lay down. "Horses take practice... but it's really just a matter of picking the right horse. Because if your horse doesn't like you- well it's not going to be very enjoyable to get thrown off. But I have a feeling that you're the type of person that animals like." Roman says with a smile. A second later, there's a knock at the door. "Prince Roman? Prince Patton? Dinner is in fifteen minutes, please get ready." one of the servants said from the other side of the door. Roman nods. "Thank you, we'll be there soon!"

PATTON

Patton smiled. "I do love animals." he said before hearing the knock at the door. He was stuffed from the ice cream and sleepy. He wished he didn't have to go to dinner, but he knew there were things he couldn't get out of, and this was probably one of those things. Lifting his glasses up to rub his eyes, he sighed before looking back at Roman. They had fifteen minutes, probably not enough time to keep playing. Boo. But maybe he could just spend that time laying here and relaxing... unless there was actually something they had to do to get ready for dinner, but he couldn't think of what that might be.

ROMAN

Roman sighs. “I’m full from the ice cream- I don’t think I can eat.” He says with a small smile. “We can lay around for a few minutes, but then we have to go- my parents hate when I’m late to dinner.” Roman says, flopping down in the soft carpet in the floor. “You’ll get to meet my brother- just a warning- he’s nice, but he can be a bit... much.” Roman says.

PATTON

Patton sighed. "Me too. I'd rather just take a nap." he admitted before closing his eyes for a moment. When Roman stated that they'd have to go in a few minutes because his parents hated when he was later to dinner, he gave a tired nod before opening his eyes when Roman brought up his brother. A bit much? A bit much how? He couldn't help but wonder, Patton hadn't exactly interacted with that many people in his life, he wasn't even sure what a bit much meant. Tilting his head slightly in thought, he shrugged it off. Roman was incredibly nice, and he didn't see why his brother would be any different... Roman had even started with the fact that he was nice when describing him. It was probably fine.

ROMAN

Roman stands, and offers Patton a arm, and a smile, before he starts the walk down to the dining room. “You haven’t eaten until you’ve eaten here- the food is all amazing!” Roman says with a smile. As they approach the door to the dining room, Remus is coming down the hallway towards them, and he sprints at them, stopping at the last second, standing just a bit too close. “Is that your new fiancée? He’s cute!” Remus says, observing Patton, hardly letting him get a word in. Remus was identical to Roman besides the mustache, and a small streak of blonde hair. “Hey- don’t imagine maggots crawling into your food at dinner!” He says with a grin.

PATTON

Patton stood up, walking with Roman. As full as he felt, he knew the second he actually saw food he'd have no problem eating, he did love food. When Remus suddenly ran up to them, getting a lot closer than Patton was expecting him to, Patton blinked in surprise. Wow, he knew Roman had a brother, but he didn't realize how similiar they were going to look. It was still easy for Patton to tell them apart, but wow. His face going a bit red when he was cute, he gave a small smile. "Hi." he said shyly. It was important for Remus to like him, he was Roman's brother. If he was important to Roman, he was important to Patton, and Patton really wanted to make a good first impression, though the pressure from that was causing shyness to get the better of him. 

At what Remus said next however, Patton actually could feel the surprise cross his face and he glanced at Roman for a second, unsure of how to respond to that and... a little grossed out at the image that popped into his head when it'd been said. Was this what Roman had meant when he warned that Remus was a little much? "Uh... I... wasn't planning to..." he said as he looked back at Remus, the tone of his voice holding both kindness as if he were trying to actually hold a genuine conversation with Remus (even if it was about maggots) and genuine confusion when it came to what they were talking about and why Remus had brought it up in the first place.

ROMAN

Remus nods. “Good- although maybe thinking about maggots is good, you know? I think a bout stuff like that a lot. Ro-Bro over here thinks it’s gross, but what’s a few strange and unusual thoughts?!” Remus says, the wide grin still on his face. Roman looks to Patton, hoping that he wasn’t too disturbed by Remus. “A few strange and unusual thoughts are okay- but I think you /only/ have strange and unusual thoughts.” He says, pushing open the doors to the dining room. Remus cackles as they walk in. “You’re not wrong...” he aqueuses, taking his seat at the long table. Roman sits down, motioning for Patton to sit next to him. Their parents were already seated in the middle of the table.

PATTON

Patton tilted his head a little bit. "Good how?" he asked curiously. Remus was definitely... different than Patton had been expecting, but then again, other than Roman, Patton had never really socialized with anyone before so maybe it only seemed odd because he wasn't use to talking to anyone. Patton followed Roman and Remus into the dining room, listening as the two spoke before sitting down next to Roman. He hadn't really been prepared for how nervous he felt. This was the first time he'd really sat down with Roman's family, with the family he was marrying into. It was more nerve wracking than he'd originally anticipated. He would've much rather been back up in the room playing truth or dare with Roman and eating too much ice cream... speaking of which, he made a mental note that he should probably never engage in a game of truth or dare with Remus, or if he ever had to, to remember to always pick truth. He'd barely said anything and yet Patton was already a little scared of the dares Remus might come up with.

ROMAN

When the three of them sat down at the table, Patton’s mother gives him a small smile, and a Roman gets a small nod from his parents. Patton’s father doesn’t acknowledge him. Remus prattles on about something or other during dinner, talking mostly to himself. Food is placed in front of them all, platters of amazing expensive food. Roman eats, but not as much as he usually would, still being full from the ice cream. He looks at Patton. “What do you think of the food?” He asks with a smile.

PATTON

Patton smiled as his mom, happy to see her again, but too scared to talk to her with all these people here. He glances at his dad, waiting for a moment or two before realizing that his father wasn't going to acknowledge his presence, looking away. He actually found himself just focusing on Remus and what he was saying for the majority of the time. It was a bit surprising, he didn't think he'd do that after the maggot comment but with his nerves it was nice to have something else to focus on, even if it was listening to Remus talk to himself as if he thought no one was listening. He went back and forth between that and focusing his attention solely on his food in those moments where Remus' talking got a little more... graphic, until he heard Roman speak. "It's really good." he replied with a small smile. He did enjoy the meal, but this was no where near as fun as earlier when it was just him and Roman. 

Roman was more fun, he bet even spending time with Remus would be... confusing but fun. All the adults who were sitting here like he was one of them just made him feel less like an adult than he already felt. No one had said anything in particular, but it was like he could feel all the rules and dos and don'ts and shoulds and shouldn'ts floating through the air around him. He couldn't be himself. He couldn't be Patton. It was sort of suffocating. He wished he had Remus' confidence to just... be himself no matter the situation. The food was good, but this was not anywhere near as fun. It definitely confirmed in his mind that this whole... future King thing was definitely not for him. It was so stiff and ridged and boring, it reminded him of how he felt trapped in that house all those years. He was still trapped, just in a bigger space with a more fancy title.

ROMAN

Roman can somehow sense Patton’s discomfort- so he eats quickly, wanting to see if he could get him out of the table. He knew that this was probably scary and confusing for Patton- could practically hear the thoughts churning inside his head. Remus continues his crazy ramblings, their parents having long since given up on trying to control him. When it looked like Patton had finished his food, Roman turned to his parents. “Can Patton and I be excused early?” He asks quickly. Romans father considers, them nods. “I’ve been wanting to speak to Patton’s parents anyway. You all can go.” He says, dismissing them. Remus grins, jumping over the table and running out of the room, and Roman stands, offering a hand to Patton to leave.

PATTON

Patton looked up, a sense of relief washing over him when Roman asked if they could be excused, and the answer was actually yes. He held back a laugh when Remus literally jumped over the table to get out of there the second he was given permission, Patton taking Roman's hand and following him out the door. He felt his whole body relax the second he was out of there. They weren't even doing anything and he already felt so much better, more like himself. He was still a bit shy around Remus, but Remus didn't make him feel like he had to be some grown up who always said and did all the right things at all the right times, so he would definitely take this feeling over that one.

ROMAN

Roman felt Patton’s hand relax in his, and he gives it a gentle squeeze, walking back to their room. Remus sprints off somewhere, probably to go try and cat rats in the dungeons, or to play with fire on the turrets. “You feeling okay?” Roman asks as he walked with him. “You were really tense during dinner, and you seemed uncomfortable.”

PATTON

Patton watched Remus run off, about to ask where he was going curiously when he heard Roman speak. Looking back at Roman, he gave a small nod. "Yeah. I'm just... not comfortable with them yet." he admitted, referring to the adults. The only adult that he enjoyed being around was his mother, and it was hard to enjoy her company with the rest there. "It's probably fine though, I mean, once I get to know them, it'll probably work itself out... I mean, the only person I've ever interacted with that was an adult kidnapped me so..." he held the last word out for a bit and his voice trailed off for a moment. It was pretty understandable, at first Patton felt awkward around everyone due to the combination of a lack of socialization before now and the fact that he only person he had interacted with had been his kidnapper. 

Thanks to Roman, Patton had gotten more comfortable around other people, to the point where he was even able to look Remus in the eyes when he'd first met him, but it was different. Roman and Remus were around his age. He still wasn't comfortable around the adults... the guards... the people who were older, the ones that made him feel like he wasn't allowed to just... be. Maybe they weren't the man who kidnapped him, but in their own way, with their rules and restrictions that Patton had to follow because that's what he was suppose to do as a Prince, they made him feel the exact same way.

ROMAN

"That's okay- you're new to people. It's fine for you not to be okay around everyone just yet." Roman says, opening the door when they got to his room, and walking inside with him. He flops down on top of the bed, stretching. He looks out of the window- it'll be getting dark soon. "Pat- you said you don't like the dark- do you want me to try and find you a candle or something?" he asks.

PATTON

Patton smiled a bit, following Roman to his room. When Roman offered to find him a candle, he gave a shy nod. "Yeah, I mean, if it's not too much trouble." he said, not wanting Roman to go out of his way or anything. He made a mental note to offer to sleep on the chaise tonight when they started actually getting ready to go to sleep. Roman had a better chance at a good night sleep than Patton did, he might as well be the one to have the bed to get that sleep. It felt like a waste, for Patton to have it.

ROMAN

Roman nods, going into a drawer and pulling out a set of candles- some he used for decoration, and they smelled nice. “What color do you want Patton?” He asks, showing them to Patton. He smiles, leaving them near him and going to see if he could find matches anywhere, grinning when he found them somewhere. He most definitely would insist that Patton take the bed- Roman didn’t care, and he wanted Patton to be comfortable! Patton was going to be his husband, the least Roman could do is give him the bed.

PATTON

Patton smiled a bit when Roman found some candles, looking them over when Roman told him to pick a color. His instinct was to go with the blue, but once the candle melted down it would be gone, so he decided on a different color instead. "Thank you." he said after a moment, grateful for the fact that Roman was trying to make sure he was comfortable, and that maybe he'd even manage to get a little bit of sleep.

ROMAN

Roman smiles, setting the chosen candle down on the nightstand with the box of matches. He grabs his sketchbook, intending to draw again with the little time that he had left. He opens it, flipping to a new page, before deciding that he'd draw Patton again, starting to doodle him.

PATTON

Patton dug through his bag until he found his book again, pulling it out as he sat down on the bed. He could see that Roman was getting ready to sketch again, and Patton didn't really have much to do himself, and he'd reread that book about a million times, it was his favorite after all, so why not read it again? It was worn, but clearly well taken care of.

ROMAN

Roman looked over at Patton as he pulled out a book. "What are you reading?" He asks, trying to glimpse the title. He looks back down at the sketchbook, finishing the basic outline of Patton. "Will you read it out loud?" he asks, smiling at him.

PATTON

Patton didn't glance up from the book when he heard him speak. "The Frog Prince." he replied, a little embarrassed. He'd done his best to hide it all from Roman the night before, and while he was a lot more comfortable with Roman, it was still a children's story. But it was one of the only story books he had growing up, and while he'd made sure to read every book he could get his hands on in an attempt to keep himself entertained all those years, this one had definitely always been his favorite. When Roman asked if he could read it out loud, he finally glanced up from the book, giving a small smile. "Yeah, sure." he said before starting to read the book out loud, finding himself getting just as caught up in the story as he always did, reacting to each thing that happened as if he were hearing it for the first time.

ROMAN

Roman smiles at how invested Patton seemed in the story- and Roman was getting a bit caught up as well- he hadn't heard this in ages. He listens as Patton read, still drawing him, and when he finished, he doodles a little frog next to Patton, a frog that was dressed and looked suspiciously like Roman.

PATTON

When Patton finished reading the story, he closed the book carefully, deciding to set it down on the nightstand instead of putting it back in his bag. He let himself fall back so he was laying down on the bed. With how tired he felt, you'd think he'd be able to fall asleep easy, but he wasn't so confident that it would actually happen. He did feel better knowing the candle was there, and that Roman was in the room, but it still felt like something else was missing and he couldn't quite put a finger on what that something was. "What'd you decide to draw this time?" he asked curiously.

ROMAN

Roman looks over at Patton when he’s asked what he drew, and he goes over to the bed, taking his sketchbook with him to go show Patton. He sits down ne t to him, showing him the page. “It’s you again- but also a frog that kind of looks like me!” Roman says with a smile, showing him. He really liked the way it turned out- he usually didn’t like the things he drew- but when he drew Patton... it felt like he could make no mistakes.

PATTON

Patton smiled when Roman sat down next to him on the bed, looking at the page as it was shown to him. His whole face lit up at the very sight of the drawing. "That's so amazing!" he squeaked, sitting up a bit so he could get a better look at Roman's creation. "I love it." he said happily.

ROMAN

Roman smiles, blushing a bit at the compliments. "Aw, thanks Patton!" Roman didn't know why, but he adored the way that Patton's face lit up- how genuinely happy that he seemed to see the drawing. "I'll have to draw you more often- usually people get annoyed when I try and draw them." he says, putting the sketchbook down. He doesn't want to go to sleep yet, just wants to spend more time with Patton.

PATTON

Patton smiled as he looked at the drawing, his head tilting in confusion when Roman stated that most people got annoyed when he tried to draw them. "But... why? There's a frog right there..." he said genuinely, as if the fact that Roman drew him with a frog should somehow negate any annoyance anyone would have at being drawn. Honestly, he thought that was a pretty legitimate reason to love being drawn. You could add anything into the picture and be with that thing, whether it was something you could actually be with or not.

ROMAN

Roman giggles, nodding. "Yes, there is a frog." he says with a smile. "Do you like frogs?" he asks, sitting up on the bed and looking at him. "Because tomorrow we could go and try to find some! We get frogs in the pond in the garden sometimes!" Roman says with a bright smile. "Usually they're really pretty- and they're friendly! Usually only Remus likes them though."

PATTON

Patton nodded. "Yeah, they're my second favorite after cats. I've never actually seen a frog in person, but I've seen a lot of them in books." he said as he pointed to the Frog Prince book on the nightstand. When Roman suggested that they could go try to find some frogs in the garden pond, Patton practically shot up into a sitting position. "Really? We could see real frogs?!" he asked excitedly.

ROMAN

Roman nods, giggling at Patton's excitement. "We can go see real frogs!" he says with a grin, picking up his sketchbook and standing off of the bed, yawning. He shivered a bit. It was starting to get cold at night... he'd be fine though. "I'm going to head to bed, alright Patton?" he says, before moving to his chaise and settling in for the night.

PATTON

Patton could barely contain his excitement, wishing it was tomorrow already so he could go with Roman and see the frogs in the pond. When Roman yawned and stood up, he furrowed his brow. "Are you sure you don't want the bed tonight? I got it last night, and it doesn't really seem fair because I don't even really sleep." he said. If Roman wouldn't take the bed permanently, Patton was more than happy to just trade off every night at least.

ROMAN

Roman shakes his head. "No, thank you Patton, although you're very sweet for offering." he says with a smile. He settles onto the chaise. "Sweet dreams, Pat." he says, before staring to drift off, not able to fully fall asleep due to the rapidly decreasing temperature.

PATTON

"Okay, goodnight." Patton said softly, giving it a few minutes until he was sure Roman had shut his eyes before reaching for his bag under the bed and pulling out his stuffed frog again. He may not have been confident in his ability to fall asleep, but he was eager to climb under the covers since it felt colder tonight than it had the night before. Patton actually preferred the cold, there was something amazing about the feeling of curling up under warm blankets and sheets when a room was colder. Setting his glasses on the nightstand with his book, he closed his eyes, hoping he might actually fall asleep... no such luck.

ROMAN

Roman had manages to fall asleep... for an hour. Before waking up again. He tossed and turned for forever, sleep deprived and tired, cold. He shivered under his blankets, before looking over at Patton. Body heat was the best way to gain heat right? Roman stands up, sleepily shuffling away from the chaise and over to the bed. He flops down next to Patton. "Pssst. Patton. Are you awake? Because it's like... really cold and you looked warm so I wanted to know if ya wanted to cuddle." Roman says, yawning sleepily. He was tired, and quite out of it.

PATTON

Patton could hear Roman moving around more than he had last night. He knew he should've made Roman take the bed, he was probably having trouble sleeping because he was uncomfortable. Part of him wanted to go over and offer the bed again, but he stayed where he was, because even if Roman was moving around, that didn't mean he was awake, and Patton didn't want to wake him up. When he heard the sound of feet shuffling across the floor, he figured maybe Roman was going to the bathroom, or perhaps to find more blankets, but when he heard his name, he opened his eyes tiredly, trying to focus on Roman despite the fact that the room was darker and he didn't have his glasses on. "I'm awake." he said softly, reaching a hand up to rub his eyes. If Roman weren't standing up and talking to him, he would've thought he was still sleeping, he seemed out of it. He wondered if Roman was a sleep walker. Hearing Roman's suggestion, his face went so red he was surprising glad that the room was more dark so it wouldn't go noticed. Like, both of them, in the same bed, cuddling... on purpose? He wasn't as cold as Roman, so why did that sound so nice? "Oh, yeah. We can do that." he replied shyly, scooting over a bit so Roman could get in the bed.

ROMAN

Roman smiles sleepily, quickly moving under the blankets, relaxing when he felt how warm it was. He wraps his arms around Patton, holding the other close to himself, and he just takes a few minutes to enjoy how /warm/ the other is. Heck, even if Patton had been freezing cold, Roman would have probably enjoyed holding him- Patton was soft and small and easy to hold and Roman just... liked being next to him.

PATTON

Patton cuddled up to Roman, letting his head rest on his shoulder as he felt Roman hold him close. He allowed himself to just take a moment, thinking. This was even nicer than he thought it would be. He liked being this close to Roman... he wondered if Roman liked being this close to him. Closing his eyes, he tried to just enjoy it while it lasted, there was a chance that Roman wouldn't want to do this again if the room was warmer the next night. So Patton had to appreciate it while it was still happening, genuinely surprised by how quickly he fell asleep now that Roman was there holding him.

ROMAN

Roman fells asleep quickly as well, smiling softly in his sleep and closing his eyes, drifting off beside Patton. People cuddled with their friends, right? This was perfectly normal!

PATTON

This was probably the first time in Patton's entire life that he had a night where he just... slept soundly. No trouble falling asleep, no waking up every hour if he did manage to get some sleep in, no nightmares waking him back up if he got more than an hour of sleep, just... Patton sleeping comfortably. He was relaxed, content, over all, he just felt safe cuddled up to Roman. One of his hands was lightly gripping Roman's shirt in his sleep as if he subconsciously thought that if Roman were to wake up and realize that, he'd know Patton didn't want him to leave and he'd stay with him. This may have also been the first time Patton slept in, meaning the chances of him waking up before Roman were slim to none. He was usually a light sleeper and an early riser, but someone could burst in and start yelling, or bang on the door and Patton still wouldn't wake up. He was too comfortable. If only it could be like this every night.

ROMAN

Roman was up early the next morning, the year or so that he had spent on battlefields conditioning him to it. He realizes that he wasn't on the chaise anymore... he was in the bed... warm, comfy- hold up- he was... cuddling Patton? Certainly an interesting development, but not an unwelcome one. He smiles, not letting go of the other, and just cuddling closer, enjoying holding him.

PATTON

Patton finally woke up, but he didn't open his eyes right away. He was too comfortable. Opening his eyes right now felt like accepting the fact that it was officially morning and he wasn't quite ready to do that yet. He never got to just be comfy in bed like this and he wasn't ready for it to be over. He shifted a bit, unsure of if Roman was awake or if he was still sleeping, so he didn't want to move too much and wake him up if he was still asleep. He wondered if Roman would remember asking to climb into bed and cuddle with him. He wondered if Roman would think it was weird or not want to cuddle once he was more awake. Maybe Patton should get up just incase. He didn't like that thought. Finally opening his eyes, he reached his hand up to rub them in an attempt to wake himself up a bit more.

ROMAN

Roman pulls Patton closer when he shifts. "Morning." he hums sleepily, pulling Patton to him- not ready for the cuddles to end. Patton was warm, and Roman just wanted to hold him for a little bit longer.

PATTON

Patton smiled tiredly when he heard Roman's voice, just letting out a sleepy hum in response. He closed his eyes again when he felt Roman pull him closer, feeling warm and cozy and just plain happy. No wonder he was never able to sleep when he was alone, this was so much better. He felt better. He could've just stayed like this all day, honestly, but he knew eventually they'd have to get up. "How long've you been up?" he asked curiously after a moment, opening his eyes and glancing back up at Roman.

ROMAN

Roman shrugs. "An hour? No more than that- Not that long." he mumbles, his eyes still half-open against Patton. "You're... very comfortable." he remarks, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He could have watches Patton sleep for /ages/- he really was adorable. Was it weird, that he'd watch his friend sleep? No, no, of course not!

PATTON

Patton held back a yawn, nodding a bit to show he was listening, he had been the one to ask, after all, couldn't fall back asleep during the answer. "Oh." he hummed softly, so Roman hadn't been up for too long. He wondered what time it was... did they have time to stay like this a bit longer? He felt his face go a bit red when Roman commented that he was comfortable, a smile appearing as he instinctively moved to hide his now red face, but still too sleepy to realize he'd done so by burying it in Roman's side. Roman was the one who was very comfortable.

ROMAN

Roman giggles softly- both at Patton's reaction, and at being tickled when the other went to hide his face in his side. "You're adorable when you're sleepy." Roman mumbled, smiling to himself, and not fully registering what he was saying. They could cuddle for a bit longer... take breakfast in their room....

PATTON

It took Patton a moment to register what Roman had said. Once he did, he could feel his face get hotter. Roman thought he was adorable? Well, when he was sleepy. But still. Did Roman really think he was adorable? Why did that make him smile even more? Patton had always been the sort to like physical signs of affection, even if he never actually got any. Cuddling, hand holding, hugs... he'd been very careful not to get too close with Roman, only having given him a few hugs here and there so far because he didn't know if Roman would want Patton to be that close, he sort of hoped that since Roman had been the one to ask that they cuddle, that it was a sign that if Patton wanted to cuddle again, or hug him more often, or hold his hand, that he could. Friends did that, right?

ROMAN

Roman smiles at Patton, gently moving one of his hand to card through Patton’s hair. It was soft, really soft- and Roman smiles. They were getting married tomorrow- that was a huge thing- Roman thought that they could just... relax. Take a rest for this morning. “Pat, you wanna see if we can have breakfast in bed today?” He asks with a small smile on his face. Usually Roman very much would get up and force himself to go to breakfast even when he was exhausted- but for some reason, having Patton here made him weak- willed.

PATTON

Patton had never had anyone play with his hair before. He hadn't really been prepared for how much he liked the feeling of it. It might've been his favorite thing, and he all but melted the second Roman started to do it. He couldn't really focus on anything else because that was so nice and comforting and... did Roman say something? Yeah, Roman definitely said something. It was hard to focus on anything when Roman was running his hand through Patton's hair right now. It took far too long for Patton to even figure out that Roman had definitely said something, let alone what he said. Something that meant they didn't have to get up, which meant Roman didn't have to stop playing with his hair, so definitely yes, one hundred percent yes to... whatever it was. Right, he actually had to give an answer. "Uh... uh huh, yeah." he somehow managed to contently hum out. He'd do whatever if it meant Roman would keep doing that.

ROMAN

Roman nods. "Lovely. I'll send for breakfast... later." he finishes. He doesn't want to get out of bed with Patton just yet, so he just lays with him, content for now. He keeps playing with Patton's hair, playing with the smooth locks of hair and giggling as he tried to (and failed to) braid little sections of Patton's hair.

PATTON

"Mmkay." Patton replied quietly, just allowing himself to enjoy the feeling of Roman playing with his hair. He wasn't sure if there were moments where he actually fell back asleep and would wave up again or if he was just so relaxed that he kept zoning out but either way, this definitely won hands down for the most happy and calm and safe that Patton had ever felt in his life.

ROMAN

Roman smiles- he'd definitely have to play with Patton's hair more often if it gave him soft, sleepy Patton. "Did you sleep okay?" Roman asks him quietly, remembering that Patton said that he had trouble sleeping the night before.

PATTON

Patton hadn't really noticed when he had first buried his face in Roman's side because he was more focused on hiding his red face, but now that that thought had left his mind he couldn't help but notice that Roman smelled really good. It just added to how content he felt. "Yeah, that's never happened before." he mumbled in response to the question. He hoped this wasn't a one time thing, that Roman would keep cuddling with him so Patton could feel this way every night. It just made him more upset to think about Roman actually getting up because he didn't know for sure if it was ever gonna happen again. "You?" was all he could manage to ask back, knowing Roman had gotten into the bed with him in the first place because he was cold and having trouble sleeping. Patton hoped he helped Roman sleep as much as Roman had helped him.

ROMAN

"I slept good. You're very warm." Roman says with a smile, holding onto Patton for a bit longer. He does sit up after a few minutes, but he doesn't get out of bed yet. He still holds Patton in his sitting position, Patton's head resting on his lap. "Do you wanna get breakfast now? I can run and ask someone to bring us something, and then we can just stay in bed?"

PATTON

Patton pouted a bit when he felt Roman moving, not wanting to let go just yet, but luckily, Roman didn't let go of him. He looked up at Roman at the question, giving a small nod. "Okay." he said, not really thrilled about Roman getting up and leaving, but he'd be lying if he said that now that he was starting to slowly wake up more and more that he wasn't hungry, and it wouldn't be right of him to keep Roman from eating just because Patton was too comfortable to move either.

TO BE CONTINUED

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Every Movie Has a Lesson by Don Shanahan: MOVIE REVIEW: Irresistible

(Image courtesy of Focus Features)

IRRESISTIBLE— 3 STARS

Jon Stewart’s new film Irresistible holds a broad and powerful mirror up to the lies and guises of America’s election economy. Right when you think an outspoken personality like the beloved former host of The Daily Show is going to shout from his now-taller cinematic pontiff a chosen side or favorite, he remarkably doesn’t. This is an even-handed farce of finger-pointing where both political sides have dirty hands and the media in the middle is wholly and equally complicit. Stewart unleashes this cringing astonishment in a surprising movie that pulls your leg and also very rug right out from underneath you.

The political labels are coming at you for full exposure. If that’s a porcupine you try to avoid (astounding social acrobatics if you’ve got them), good luck. However, if you need a way into Irresistible consider the lyrics of heartland rocker and political centrist (who knew) Bob Seger’s 1978 hit “Still the Same.”  

You always won, every time you placed a bet

You’re still damn good, no one’s gotten to you yet

Everytime they were sure they had you caught

You were quicker than they thought

You’d just turn your back and walk

You always said, the cards would never do you wrong

The trick you said was never play the game too long

A gambler’s share, the only risk that you would take

The only loss you could forsake/The only bluff you couldn’t fake

And you’re still the same/I caught up with you yesterday

Moving game to game/No one standing in your way

Turning on the charm/Long enough to get you by

You’re still the same/You still aim high

There you stood, everybody watched you play

I just turned and walked away/I had nothing left to say

‘Cause you’re still the same/You’re still the same

Moving game to game/Some things never change/You’re still the same

The simple song is a recurring background musical motif that echoes the deception happening from the red and blue directions of this movie with pure white citizens being manipulated in the middle. Between the insincere sameness of the bets, charms, aims, bluffs, tricks, and more, line after line of Seger’s ditty nails a piece of the duplicitous characters in Stewart’s film.

The guileful gamblers of Irresistible are political strategists Gary Zimmer and Faith Brewster played by the twosome of Steve Carell and Rose Byrne. Each are fantastically introduced during the 2016 national election in front of small gatherings of faceless press with their eager microphones, flashbulbs, and cameras. Letting you know exactly what kind of outrageous people they are and the type of movie that contains them, both proudly proclaim their job is to lie straight into faces. Their matching responses are delivered precisely as if it were one of the sterilized and scripted soundbites we tend to expect. Instead, it’s the veracity we never hear but should be able to decipher.

LESSON #1: SPIN WITHOUT SHAME— With their finely stretched fabrications, Gary and Faith relish this cruddy combat, veiled as “working with” not “working for.” Truth be told, they don’t value the people they’re collaborating with or studying. Both spin doctors blow off teachable moments with zero regrets under twisted mantras that state “people have to do shitty things in the service of the great good.” That’s the slime of supposed dignity they wash their hands through and shine their smiles with. If you don’t know the type, you’re falling for the fake shine.

The post-election hangover of Donald Trump’s historic Presidential victory has left the Democratic pusher Gary crushed and desperate to expand the base of the party so lacking in rural American support. When a low-ranking staffer shows Zimmer a viral video of a former Gulf War Marine Colonel named Jack Hastings (Academy Award winner Chris Cooper) standing before a city council meeting speechifying needed support for welfare programs in the small (and fictitious) town of Deerlaken, Wisconsin, his eyes light up. He sees “a Democrat that just doesn’t know it yet,” “Bill Clinton with impulse control” and “Bernie Sanders with bone density.”

Gary is so convinced he can make something of this utilitarian unicorn he travels to the swinging Badger State to turn him into a mayoral candidate. The completely city-slicking 2%-er who is used to getting his ass kissed and avoiding carbs jumps right into his awkward elbow-rubbing in the land of beer, streusel, cheese curds, and Carthartt. After coaxing Jack to challenge the incumbent Mayor Braun (veteran character actor Brent Sexton), word travels faster than the town’s dialup internet among the kindly denizens and a race is on.

LESSON #2: DOES EACH PARTY HAVE A TYPE?— Here come the warped “liberal” and “conservative” labeling assignments that demand side-choosing. Why? That’s because a duel between analytics and polling (personified by smarmy supporting turns from Topher Grace and Natasha Lyonne that could fill their own spinoff movie of competitive banter) reveal an alarming amount of trends and descriptors in every person. Chris Cooper, with his silvered mop and down-home cadence, is perfectly cast to be a principled fellow not bound by any porch-rocking. Anchored by his astute daughter and unofficial public barometer Diana (Mackenzie Davis), his character is fluffed up to become someone and something he is not purely for the sake of appearances. That created image moves needles, television graphics, and checkbook covers. 

The full orchestra of Gary’s war drums draws national media attention to this humble hamlet as well sparks the invading arrival of the vapid bitch Faith to back Mayor Braun. Armed with their micromanaged minions, mucky millions, and salacious scalpels for scandal, the two rivals thrown down an oral sex wager to whomever’s candidate can win this parliamentary pissing contest. Let the zany pandering and placating begin.

LESSON #3: PATRONIZING IS A TWO-WAY STREET— Echoing Lesson #1, Gary and Faith’s professions are that of micromanaging shit shows. Inconsequential things are inflated to manufactured influences. The strategists do not care to connect unless there is an angle of personal or professional gain. The by-products of the wannabe geniuses thinking they are above their targets are perverted presumptions and massive condescension, with an emphasis on the “con” prefix. Not every hayseed is a mark. Plenty of fat cats are as well. 

LESSON #4: THE INSANITY OF THE MONEY IN POLITICS— With the one-upmanship of “spend to start” and “spend to stop them,” the rinky dink stuff is soon over. Framed in comedic setups and montages, frivolous millions are poured into Deerlaken and the PAC influences crop up next. At a fancy fundraising party in New York, the out-of-his-element Jack mildly unloads on how stupid the preening glad-handing stage is. Even that emboldened and honest truth doesn’t change the deep-pocketed donors. No one bats an eye and that’s not good. The course of all this is a financial food chain all its own, one where, during the very telling end credits of Irresistible, a research subject poeticizes “money lived happily ever after reveling in its influence in politics.” The real question should be what shady sunset does the money ride off into. 

LESSON #5: COMPARING THE END RESULT TO THE PROCESS— On the eve of the climactic election, Zimmer comes right to Hastings telling him his chase is about extremely simple math behind all the streamers, fireworks, and media mound. The goal is to outvote the other person by merely one vote. Screw all the analytics and polling when the ballots open. In his experience, the tawdry theatrics are forgotten when there’s a winner to celebrate. That is all the more reason why the perceived importance of the result, even for a small-town mayoral election, is maddeningly worth the quality of the chase.

LESSON #6: WHERE IS THE BLAME?— The cog of the dramatized machine in Irresistible that comes out the cleanest and most dutiful is John Q. Voter. The “fickle mob” public are the ones who must be discerning enough not to snort the spin or guzzle the cable TV conjecture. It would be easy just to slap a “satire” label on this movie and take none of it seriously. That would be a mistake. Stewart and company play us all because we, the people, deserve to be played. Yet, it still has a stance begging whoever is watching not be a part of any future blame. Color that as hope out of the shocking sarcasm. 

There are places in Irresistible where the mockery is as thin as a pesky mosquito’s wings as it draws patriotic blood and passes on diseased ideas. Other spots are as thick as quicksand made with indomitable behaviors that seem insurmountable to rescue if this was the real thing. Preposterous is the point. If you think you have the movie all figured out when it debuts on streaming platforms on June 26th, you have another thing coming. 

Bring it all back to Seger. The grand game is exposing the hypocrisy and Irresistible builds to the swindle of swindles to make this very valuable point, one prominently placed now in an election year. If you have an open mind, which can be a challenge for far too many folks on the swinging national pendulum of personal politics, you may come to enjoy the razor sharp cut of your Stewart’s biting jib. Irresistible becomes an immediate pre-election time capsule and a deserving place for rubbing our nose in our own shit, forcing us to see our gullibility, inaction, and ignored responsibilities before history repeats itself… again.

LOGO DESIGNED BY MEENTS ILLUSTRATED (#891)

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[notafeeling]

Shadows

A/N Based off of @art-blog-of-faceless‘ Anxiety art here. “The shadows” speech is in bold where Anx’s thoughts are in italics.

Pairing: neutral/hint of analogical (Anxiety/Logic)

Genre: angst

Word Count: 950

Warnings: death implication, self-deprecation

Summary:

Anxiety has a fight with Logan and the shadows take advantage of this.

Usually, Logan was there to help him. He’d meet Anxiety’s existential questions with calm and reasoned logic. But not this time. This time, Anxiety wouldn’t bother him with his problems. Logan deserved a break from constantly being his protector. Logan deserved… better.

Anxiety wished he had controlled himself the last time he saw Logic. He wished that he wasn’t so clingy. He wished he didn’t feel the need to snap and hurt those around him. But he did. He always did. That was what he was designed to do. That was the only thing he knew how to do.

Becoming closer with Logan was probably the best (and worst) decision of his life. The times when they could just lie next to each other, gaze up at the stars and talk about life’s big mysteries gave Anxiety something other than his failures to focus on. It gave him a sense of serenity. His moments with Logic were the only times he could feel at peace and dare he say, content.

He was content with feel of Logan’s shirt as he rested his head against the material. Content with the way the stars reflected on his glasses oh so beautifully. Content with their conversations, their fingers brushing together, their inside jokes that slowly formed and… them. Anxiety had grown used to being content around him.

But nothing lasted. Nothing ever lasted. Not when it came to Anxiety. Not when it came to the shadows.

The shadows were a whole other subset of problems that Anxiety had and caused. They were the source of nightmares. They were poison. There was no denying that. If they touched you, they’d hold tight, almost impossible to get rid of. They’d plague your mind with horrible thoughts and sap any happy feeling out of you until there was simply nothing left.

Anxiety didn’t notice at first when the lights in his room dimmed, nor when a black mass seeped from the ceiling and crawled down the wall behind him. He couldn’t tell the shadows’ whisperings from his own miserable thoughts.

I always mess up. I drove the one good thing in my life away. I argued with Logan and I was purposefully cruel. I told him that he was an idiot if he thought I was his personal fix-it-up project. Why did I say that? Why? He was only trying to help.

Stay away from him.

I should do that. I should remove myself from his life. He was doing just fine before I inserted myself into it and fucked it up. But… he said to come to him if I was feeling like this. Maybe I should. What else do I have to lose? Cognitive distortions are a nightmare. Maybe this is just one of them?

Don’t bother him with this.

By now, the shadows had risen from the walls and floor and were snaking their way up Anxiety’s hoodie, nestled into the folds. The boy still didn’t notice, too engaged in his own self-loathing. If he didn’t know that there was a battle to win, then how could he possibly attempt to ward the shadows off?

Who am I kidding? He wouldn’t care. He doesn’t need to know about my problems. He doesn’t need to know how much I hate myself. He doesn’t care. He never cared. It was just my own delusions fuelling my dumb, misplaced hope. Logic probably thinks I’m a waste of his time. Because isn’t that all I’ve done – waste his time? But I still want to see him. I want him to tell me it’ll be alright. Maybe-

Stop causing him pain.

The black mass creeped its way across Anxiety’s skin, encircling it and holding on. Now it completely surrounded him, making him unable to see anything else. Of course, he realised what was happening now. He just… couldn’t bring himself to care.

I should. I should stop bothering him entirely. My problems aren’t his. The only reason he’s kept me around this long is because he pities me. He pities my miserable existence and knows that I’m lonely. I am designed to cause pain. No wonder he hates me. I drive people away.

You always do.

Isn’t that the truth? All I do is force them all to hate me. I am negativity in its purest form. No wonder they can’t stand me. No wonder they want me gone.

Surrender to me.

I… I should. No one would notice if I was gone. No one would care. It’d be better if I let the shadows overtake me. It’s not like I’m doing anything good as myself, anyway.

The darkness was so thick now that he couldn’t possibly hear the panicked shouts from outside his bubble of shadow. He missed Logan summoning Prince and Morality, and the three of them desperately trying to fight their way through to Anxiety.

Let go.

I… but Logan. And Roman and Patton. I don’t want to leave them.

They don’t care. Especially Logic. He hates you. He told me.

He… he did? But he said-

He was lying. Now stop fighting me. You’re weak, you can’t possibly fight off the inevitable. Why try?

Because I- I don’t know… I… Tell them I’m sorry.

And just like that, the shadows fell away completely, draining into the crevices of the room, revealing Prince holding his sword and the others surrounding the place where the shadows once were. The night had been a long one, but it seemed morning had come just in time, for the rays burned the remaining black goop.

Now that that was over, Anxiety was safe.

“Where is he?!” Logan yelled.

Instead of the side, there was a black hoodie on the ground, empty as can be.

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