#and then eventually when she couldn't find any family who could still remember him

[estelanel]

we just finished playing through Curse of Strahd today; what a wild, long, and nice ride

[simpjaes]

sometimes i reread your hyung line and rimming post just for the sunghoon part. imagine step bro!sunghoon who loves having his tongue in ur ass to prep you for when he fucks your there 😵‍💫

wc: 2.3k content: you're a year older than him, thigh fucking, he's desperate to fuck ur ass, dub-con but like you really want it but pretend that you don't, he does not touch your pussy, anal sex lol p.s. @drunkhazed this is for u, not just the nonnie who sent the ask.

can you imagine step bro!sunghoon deciding that it's not wrong if he just plays with your ass? Like it's some sort of loophole in the system of your parents having a holy ceremony of that would connect the two of you as siblings?

it's not even that he wouldn't want to take every hole you have to offer, but more so the fact that he still has the guilt inside of him that's it's wrong. If he were to fuck you there, it would be too much guilt. But if he just plays with you, or you play with him, or if he stretches you open in different ways, it doesn't entirely count, right?

of course it doesn't, and that's what drives him.

it started about six months after his mom and your dad moved in together. the two of you would only meet when you came home from college on holiday, or during family events.

after all, it was super important to your parents that everyone was together for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, christmas.

the sixth month was christmas, where you'd be in a guest room at the end of the hallway, and he would be sleeping in the other guest room right across from you.

that night, he took note of your outfit. he took note of how his step sister fills out any outfit she would put on, and he definitely took note of the way you carry yourself.

you're his type. you always have been, but goddamn it's so blatant.

his interest in you hit far before your own interest, but it did hit you eventually. specifically on that sixth month of knowing him, on the third night that the two of you were home, and at two in the morning on christmas eve.

neither of you could sleep and found yourselves on the living room couch watching some shitty christmas movie. Sunghoon was obvious by this point with his attraction to you and you remember doing your best to ignore it.

you couldn't quite ignore it when he laid behind you though, spooning you closely and chuckling into your ear when you felt what he was packing in his loose sweatpants.

you definitely couldn't ignore it when you felt his hands against your ass, and his little whispers of "no one would find out." and "come on, just this once."

you had tried to fight the idea, whispering small a small "no" to him despite your body betraying those very words and arching back and against him.

that was the first night you felt your step brother come against you. After he had pushed one of your thighs forward, tucked his cock between them, and silently fucked himself between your legs until he was gripping your waist and letting out whispered moans into your ear.

you can't remember what came over you to grow so wet when he was against you that night, nor what comes over you now when things go much further.

There is a boundary, and one that you can't say you're too fond of but Sunghoon swears by it each time you find yourself with him. When he stalks into your room in the silent house of your parents and tries to push further and further each time he manages to get himself off by using you.

"Come on." He would argue. "We've already done so much, just let me loosen it up a little."

he uses that same argument tonight, over a year since your parents moved in together and six months since he initially fucked your thighs on that couch.

little by little things went further up until tonight. Thigh fucking, masturbating together, him sending you raunchy texts throughout the time you're not together.

tonight, you can only imagine that he wants more like he always does. That same argument, those same hands holding you down against your bed, that same dark look in his eye.

"you'd make me feel so good if you let me." he whispers, pressing his hardened length against your core. "i won't touch your pussy, i promise." he adds, lending you another press of his hips. "Sunghoon, have to stop." you argue, trying to fight the fact that you're already drenching your panties like you always do when he makes his way in here.

"Why? because you like it?" he chuckles, dipping his head down just an inch from your face. "because you know i'd fuck you open?"

you don't know why you nodded before shaking your head, but it put the nail in your coffin.

"that's right," he nods to himself, sitting up and away from you before gripping your pajama bottoms and pulling them down. "you want it too, don't you?"

you don't nod, but you also don't shake your head. you're too focused on the way he adjusts your body to roll over completely, and then pulls you up by the waist and forcing you to arch your ass up for him. "never had anyone play with your ass, hm?" he whispers, twitching in his pants at the way you just let him move you around like a puppet. "i can tell by the way your legs are shaking-" he continues, boring holes into you with his eyes. "don't worry sis, i'll make it feel so good."

you hope he's right, as you tightly close your eyes, hug against your pillow, and pretend that the hottest foreplay and sex-talk you've ever gotten didn't come from your step brother, in the silence of the guest room of your parent's home.

you feel his breath against your rim before you hear his hum, and your body instantly tenses at the feeling of being so vulnerable before him.

no matter how pushy he is to have you how he wants you, that palm against you is always soothing. you're not sure if he knows that he does it, but he does. right now, it's pressed against the small of your back, keeping it arched for him so that he can lick a long strip up your backside, landing the muscle right against your rim and flicking it.

you tense again, only to feel that same comforting palm press down more, and his other hand spreading your cheeks open.

you're flustered, and angry that it does feel good. even more so, you're embarrassed to not fight him on this like you did before. god, he's so into it though, and arguably even your regular fucks aren't as into you as he is.

"mhm." he encourages you when you tense up, feeling you try to pull away from him only to have his hands hold you in place, pulling you further back against him.

you tense again, actually trying to wriggle away from his grasp but this time he's actually using his strength. He shoots his hands to your hips, and pulls you back so hard against his face that you can feel his tongue stretch into your tight, saliva coated hole.

more than anything in this moment, you wish you didn't moan.

"Ha," he chuckles slightly, pulling back to look at the way your body is positioned. "fight all you want, you always do." he comments, now moving a finger towards that same hole. "you always end up loving it too."

you groan, annoyed at the truthfulness of the words, then yelp slightly at the feeling of his finger sliding into you quickly. So fast that even the single finger hurts.

he can feel it restrict around him as he holds it there, knuckle deep before patting the top of your ass and twisting it inside of you. "Squeezing me so tight already." He smiles with a slight moan in his voice, "can see your pussy beg for it too." He hums after, watching the way your entire lower half quivers through his intrusion. "Shame I can't fuck that too, right?"

God, you're dripping too. He sees how slick and shiny your cunt has become and he wants nothing more than to bury himself into you right now. Clearly you wouldn't need prep work if he were do it there, but still, he shouldn't. and he won't. After all, your ass is gripping his finger so fucking tight, he can't imagine how strangling that will feel on his cock.

and he's going to feel it. tonight. Especially upon your silence to his words. Now more than ever, waiting feels like an eternity.

So, he does his best to hurry it up, aching cock twitching against his thigh as he watches your ass take one, two, three fingers before he slips them out and gets back to work with his tongue.

by now, you're a mess against your pillow, huffing at the loss of pressure from his fingers and wanting more, despite the searing pain of it. you can't let him see you actually want this though, so you pretend that huff was a sigh of relief, and he believes it.

he loves it, actually.

"you think I'm done?" he asks, spitting against your rim and now standing up on his knees, hovering over you and snaking his hand up your stomach to one of your free hanging tits.

there, he gropes you while his other hand hurriedly snakes down his pants to get his dick out. "as much as i'd love to hear you scream for me," he starts you, kneading one of your tits in his hands before lining up with your slicked, barely stretched enough hole. "you're gonna have to be quiet."

you accept defeat upon feeling the first stretch of a cock far too big to be inching its way into you. Moaning louder than you needed to or intended to.

"Fuck-" He stops, panicked hand pulling from your tit and instantly going to your mouth to cover it. "shut up."

You moan again against his palm, feeling him stretch you more and more with little to no relief.

He can't stop himself actually, sinking into the tight heat with eager anticipation simply because this is what he wants from you. That strangled feeling of your muscles jerking him off, wiggling under him to get away, all while trying to pretend you don't fucking love the way he stretches you open. "listen to you, fuck, does it hurt?" he asks, only slightly amazed at the way you're taking it.

you nod with a broken sob, drooling onto his hand as you try to adjust to how he slides into you inch by inch.

and then it's still. you feel him twitch repeatedly inside of you, and his heavy breathing behind you while his hand stays in place as even he struggles to adjust.

"does it hurt enough?" he adds, holding himself in place because by now, he's actually struggling more not to plunge into you fully until even his palm can't muffle your cries.

and he's shocked when you shake your head.

you just implied that no, it doesn't hurt enough.

which sets a fucking flame off in his cock, instantly, he's pulling out slightly, and then slamming the entirety of his length into you, relishing in your yelp of how quick he moves. "Oh?" He questions harshly, snapping his hips relentlessly, not at all ignoring how fucking hot you are to him right now. "big sis likes it when it hurts?" he continues, only going harder, deeper into you. "fuck, take all of it then." You struggle to speak, to ask him to stop, let alone to stop moaning at the pure rush of pleasure you feel. by this point, no, don't stop. Go harder, deeper.

You let out a small sound with each hard thrust, rolling your eyes back at the way he makes sure you feel every inch, vein, and pulse of his cock inside of you. stretching you out in a hot and wet way, now only to slip his fingers into your mouth too.

gagging you.

your throat restricts around his fingers the same way your ass does around his cock, and it takes everything in you not to throw a weak hand down and rub your clit.

thankfully, you don't care about self control too much, considering Sunghoon is currently fucking the life out of your ass, and you do. Yeah, you do run your hand down to rub your clit.

"Goddamn, you're really loving this." He chuckles at noticing the way you're pleasuring yourself, each tense of your muscles only hugging his cock tighter. "Yeah, get yourself off." He adds, stilling his hips after pressing his cock as deep into you as it can reach. "Let me feel it." and god, it doesn't take much to let him feel it. You work yourself up so much, feeling so full, and right then and there he feels your orgasm slam through you.

"So fucking tight," he compliments through a wince, experiencing your orgasm through the tight hole trying to push him out. "I couldn't have loosened you up enough if I tried--" he groans, now slamming his hips back, plunging into you yet again.

his thrusts paired with your orgasm does nothing but send him straight into his own heavenly feeling of release.

even as your body relaxes and you try to wiggle away from him, he holds you in place. Shoving his fingers further into your mouth, and pressing your entire body into the bed. His hips chasing to stay deep, and stuttering his entire body behind you as he shoots his cum deeper into your ass, silently moaning out into the air of your sex-fueled bedroom.

and only when he's emptied himself into you does he pull his fingers from your mouth.

and in an instant, his heaving chest and ringing ears sober his horny brain due to the way you suck in a breath and try to quietly cough yourself back to reality. the reality the two of you are faced with is one of two things.

one, this has to stop now that it's gone this far.

two, you've just learned that you like anal, and that your step brother is really good at fucking.

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Dark felix Caton who sees beautiful girl (reader)at uni. He became obsessed with her right away. But then he finds out reader already has a bf. Then he plot an evil plan. He befriends readers bf and ask him to join him during summer vacations to saltburn. Felix also says he can bring reader along with him too.

Reader is hesitant but eventually accept the offer. Soo that's where felix would begin to corner reader whenever she's alone. Reader try to tell her bf about it but he turns her down too occupied by the lavish lifestyle. Finally felix get reader alone with him and r4pe her.

I´m sorry you had to wait this long dear anon. I really hope you enjoy this though. Your other requests will still be coming soon as possible though. I promise I have not forgotten and am not ignoring <3

To get you alone (dark!Felix Catton x reader)

synopsis: He always had his eyes on you, however you had thought naively that he wouldn´t go past that.

warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, non consensual sex, smut, semi public sex, p in v, unwanted attention generally, mentions of reader being in a relationship with Oliver, afab reader

word count: 1.6k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

A/N: I tried to not be too graphic with this one, I still advise anyone reading to proceed with causion. SA is a real and serious topic and if you don´t feel in the right spot for reading this that is completely fine. Remember to be kind to yourself and you are loved!

Dividers by @saradika

Felix Catton. If you were to be asked what you thought of Felix your answer would most often look something like “Yes, he's pretty handsome…” but beyond that there was very little you knew of the rich boy and that in and of itself made you wary of him. Especially because he seemed to go wherever you went. Mischievously sparkling eyes trained on your every move from the second you entered the grand hall for the welcome celebrations. Now, normally you probably wouldn't mind it that much, hadn't it been for someone else's sudden infatuation with whom your friends had jokingly begun to call your stalker.

You had met Oliver years prior, when your parents somehow for some reason befriended his parents. Well, not for some reason, they were lovely people, but nonetheless. Soon after that he had asked you out and with how nervous he looked you couldn't help but accept. It was really cute. Oliver was attentive and perfect and even if his friend Michael was a bit weird by most standards, it seemed like he was looking out for your boyfriend as well, as much as he could. But he was the first part of your life that Felix got his fangs into. Until you found yourself at the Catton’s estate over the summer instead of going home for the first time in forever. It was nice of him to extend the invite, his family was mostly nice in that dysfunctional, rich people way. Still, despite everything you felt like an intruder. No matter how often any of them insisted how great it was to have you there. Something felt off. Like a spell had been cast on Oliver so he couldn't see how weird his new so-called friend was. Ignorant to every slip off the hand underneath the table at meals or outside, every lingering glance at the pool, every oh so innocent seeming, hidden unwanted comment.

But especially to the frequency with which you found yourself trapped alone with the brunet rich kid. His hands resting on your hips as he leaned down to you, eyes sparkling with spoken and unspoken comments. Things he had dreamt doing to you, you did to him, things he wanted to try. It all fell upon deaf ears, no matter who you told. Venetia was the only one who even made the impression to believe you, but even her response was kept to a minimum. Keeping silent about it to the world, not doing anything to actively help when you told her how uncomfortable you felt alone with her brother.

No one ever expected the great Felix Catton to do something bad, he was just making jokes, you were told, but you knew better than them.

Walking through Saltburn, you are distracted by mentally chiding yourself for still getting lost after having spent so much time there already. The constant, silent barrage of curses blinds you to the person walking towards you.

“Whoa there.” The voice and steadying hands on your upper arms quickly give away that it isn't Farleigh or your boyfriend you ran into, like you had hoped so dearly. Or even James or Duncan or literally anyone else but the person standing in front of you. In an attempt to bring distance between the two of you as fast as possible, you stumble backwards however and almost fall into the little coffee table behind you, prompting Felix´ hands to go right back to your arms.

“Are you okay?” He asks over a huffed chuckle, eyes glowing lightly with mischief as always.

“Y-yeah, thanks.” You rasp a short answer, dusting yourself off to get away from solitude with him as quickly as possible.

“Not so fast.” He stops you by holding out his arm to block the way to freedom. “Did I do something to offend you?”

The question nearly shocks the air out of your chest, fists balling instinctively as there is only one question that crosses your mind in return. “Are you serious right now?”

“Uh, yes? Why wouldn´t I be?” The baffling response is accompanied by furrowed brows and a still slightly amused quirk of the corner of the lip.

“Felix, it´s nice that you invited us here, but I´m not blind. I see the way you eyed the girls back at uni. I see the way you look at Olli and I see the way you look at me, have been looking at me for months and by God I´ve felt your hands when you thought no one is watching.”

Listening to you intently, Felix’ facial expression shifts to one less light. A knowing smirk replaces the half smirk and his brows relax, the brown of his eyes darkening to almost black.

"Oh, did you now? You notice everything, don't you?" The brunet straightens his back to tower over you. One of his large hands coming up to grab you by the chin. His thumb languidly swipes over your lower lip. “Aren't you just the cleverest girl?”

“Felix…” you whisper hesitatingly, too tightly in his hold to make another attempt at fleeing. All that you can do to keep him at a small distance is to cross your arms over your chest. An obviously futile, but desperate move that, perhaps rightfully so, gets chuckled at, before they get pinned above your head.

"Tell me, do you ever think of me instead of Olli?" Felix huffs above you.

“What?” Outrage burns it´s way through your veins, but as quickly as it ignites it is shut down again.

“Do you ever think of me when you are with Ollie.” Felix repeats slower this time, stepping even closer, even though it had seemed impossible prior.

For a moment you don´t know how, or if, to respond, biting your lip and averting your eyes to put off answering as much as possible. However, failing when his fingers dig deeper into your chin to turn you back to him. You nod, ashamed.

"Say it." He demands. "I want to hear it from your beautiful lips."

"I think about you every time I am with him. I think about you when I touch myself at night, imagining it's your fingers making me come until I can only moan your name." The confession isn't entirely true.

If you were entirely honest, your mind has shifted once, but you knew he wouldn't be happy with that. His breath shudders and you know he bought the lie.

"Fuck you're such a naughty girl. Thinking about me when you have him. And to admit it so freely." He chuckles

"Oliver could never touch me like you do. He could never make me feel as good." You continue lying, hoping to any deity that would listen, it would make this whole torture be over faster.

Far from it was the case obviously. Felix lets out a low growl, swiftly leaning down to capture your lower lip between his teeth. Soothing the bite by pulling them into an unreciprocated kiss immediately after. It´s as if it happened solely to make one thing unmistakeably clear. He wanted you. To be desperate and beg him for more. He wanted you to need him just how much he needed you. And more.

His tongue presses against yours as he roughly moved the two of you away from the table, pinning you against the nearest wall. Even less time is wasted to push aside and open any clothes that potentially could be in the way of the one thing Felix had wanted to do to you ever since he had first laid his eyes on you. Letting go of your chin, his hand hooks underneath your thigh to ease himself into you painfully slow. His presence alone rendering you incapable of any clear thought of fight or flight. A realization at which he lets go of your wrists to grope at your breasts. Felix' own chest heaves with heavy breaths and quiet moans, held back as to not alert any of the staff nearby. Meanwhile you barely feel like you are in your own body anymore. It's like watching him from above as he did whatever he wanted to your limp body. The nausea, the tears pricking in your eyes as his lips latch onto your neck to suck his marks into it, they all feel so distant yet so overwhelming. You can see his lips moving, but the sounds are drowned out by a high-pitched ringing sound. Numb to the way his fingers dig into your skin or how every thrust of his hips pushes you back into the wall, head rolling from side to side as you try to drown all of it out even more. Again, futilely.

Still your inaction brings Felix enough enjoyment to keep on going for what feels like forever. His touch is so meticulous, so blushless, he is so focused on just violating every boundary you had tried to set up with him ever, he doesn't even see you anymore. How much he is hurting you. And if he does, he doesn't show much care for it.

You are lucky in a sense though as well or maybe it's just another cruel joke by the gods. As soon as Felix spills himself inside of you, he pulls out and away. Without so much as another word, but a look that very much promised more of what had just happened, he leaves you in the little corner of the hallway.

However, you don't come back to yourself yet. Taking care in mechanical motions to fix up your clothes and get to a bathroom to clean up and possibly empty your stomach's contents until you felt any better about yourself and the prospect of having to spend the rest of summer in these halls. Any better, no matter how little it would be at all. One thing you were sure of in your dissociated state. There was no escaping Felix Catton.

[princessanonymous]

Your platonic yandere vampire fuckin slaps, its so good i want to eat it

Since after turning, the reader is basically a NEET at this point cause I doubt Dorian would allow her to have a life. Are there like any expectations that he has on her on a day to day basis?

As in, does he expect a minimum amount of time spent together as a family (aside from dinners), having the 1700s equivalent of family game nights, does Dorian expect the reader to hug her dads at least once a day? Or does he let her rot in her room with dolls and just likes the idea of having his husband and daughter in the house?

Once again, love your work and great job , fuckin banger series you made thank you so much for the delicious food, looking forward for more

𝓨𝓸𝓾'𝓵𝓵 𝓑𝓮 𝓑𝓪𝓬𝓴 (Ask)

When Night Comes asks Platonic Yandere Vampire Story Chapter list

I'm glad to know you liked it! (*°▽°*) Thank you for asking! Sorry it took so long to answer, I just didn't know how to put it into words until today. o(TヘTo) But here it is :

┉┈◈◉◈┈┉

Surprisingly, Dorian did not expect a certain amount of time spent together. With time, he had grown to understand that forcing it would only make the girl pull away even more. He knew (Y/n) would come to him or Killian all by herself. Who else would she turn to anyway? Who else would she turn to, after all? Balls and gatherings where she could mingle with vampires of similar age and disposition were few and far between. Being in contact with mortals without feeding on them was even rarer. 

No, he knew she needed them. Leaving wasn’t even an option for one who looked so young, that, she was very much aware of. She wasn’t dumb, far from it.

But every three decades or so, the youngling would forget that and simply confine herself in her own quarters. Dorian learned not to make a big deal about it. Still, she needed company no matter how much she could forget that sometimes. Naturally, he would then find her company; that was his role as his caretaker, after all. The first time, it had been a grey cat which, for the life of him, he couldn't remember the name of. Next, it was a little puppy and, ten years ago, it was a small cat with bright blue eyes named Atlas.

They all died within ten years of their arrival. His little vampire took great care of them, but their mortal existence couldn’t be extended forever. Yet, every time, she would be devastated, mourning them for a long period of time. Just like she was doing tonight, in fact. Atlas had been buried earlier in the night. The poor girl was a mess sobbing in his arms. He gently rubbed circles in her back as she cried all the tears in her body. 

“Now, hush dear," he muttered with a soothing voice, “you gave it a wonderful life. I’m sure he is now thankful wherever he is.”

"Why did he have to go?" She sobbed even more.

"All mortals have to go, starshine, you know that," he reminded her softly.

The stark contrast between mortals and their kind was a truth they couldn't escape. Mortals, with their fleeting lives and fragile mortality, existed on a different plane altogether. They grew old and frail, their bodies succumbing to the relentless march of time, while vampires remained frozen in eternal youth, unchanging and immutable. Mortals came and went like whispers on the wind, leaving behind only the faintest traces of their existence, while vampires endured, their memories etched into the fabric of eternity. Dorian knew the pet would eventually die, just like the others. And yet, despite the inevitability of her passing, she still had them; her family. 

In the quiet darkness of the night, she sought solace in the embrace of the familiar, curling up in the comforting confines of Dorian's coffin. Her tears, silent witnesses to the turmoil that churned within her, traced shimmering paths down her cheeks. He petted her hair gently as Killian placed a kiss on her forehead. And just like that, everything was as it was before. She clung to them as she should.

She would always come to them in the end. Sometimes, it just took a little push, a reminder that mortal life was fleeting — and here she was once again, returning to them with a heart heavy with sorrow and tears.

She would come and they would be there.

┉┈◈◉◈┈┉

Does he bring her pets so she can watch them die on purpose as a form of punishment whenever she pulls away for too long?

'Nooooooo, of course nooooot,' Dorian says, u know, just like a dirty filthy lying liar who lies.

[datura-tea]

holy shit this year marks 10 years of this blog and moz!! i can't remember the exact date i started posting here - my archive says i have one post from november 2013 but let's disregard that - but i do remember it was around late 2014/early 2015 :)

^ one of the very first moz art pieces i ever drew, for fallout week 2015!!

memories and art through the years under a read more bc it got long

2014 → baby's first rpg!! i started playing fnv on my cousin's jailbroken xbox late 2013 and finished mid 2014 and i loved every minute of it. i remember waking up at 8am and playing almost nonstop until 2am the next day haha!

i didn't play moz on my first playthrough - but i did start creating a character that would eventually become her: a shorthaired ex-boxer who punched her way through obstacles when diplomacy failed. i remember she spent a lot of time with boone. i liked him then, because he saved my ass more times than i can count. but i digress. this is draft 1 moz essentially

2015 → this is the year that i was doing my thesis so i could graduate but i was so depressed and stressed about it that i distracted myself by replaying fnv on pc, where i played through the dlcs for the first time. i fell in love with the dlcs' oversarching story; particularly ulysses, who i became obssessed with, especially since i couldn't find any content of him at the time. in the game, i played as moz; i had most of her personality and choices down, but her backstory was still up in the air.

fun fact: this was an existing sideblog that i remade to be a fallout blog so i could look for ulysses content, and when i couldn't find any, i made some myself, featuring moz as my main courier six. originally, i didn't ship them, but eventually i ended the year as a courier/ulysses otp shipper.

this was the year i started drawing digitally - my uncle let me borrow a drawing tablet and i used an old copy of photoshop i pirated hehe

2016 → i graduated this year!! and promptly fell deeper into my depression. this was the year that it got so bad that i had to be medicated. through it all, this blog and moz and ulysses and my fandom friends were with me. and for that i am truly grateful :) this was the year i figured out how to lock transparent pixels so that i could color my lineart lol

2017 → i started hammering out moz's backstory this year i think. there's a lot of sketches of her and her family in my files. i experimented with shading and backgrounds here but that experimentation was pretty short-lived

2018 → i started using references seriously!!!! i did a lot of oc on oc kissing this year, featuring mostly moz and many friend ocs haha

2019 → didn't draw much this year. actually this year was a blur and i can't remember much from it except from it being the year of my terrible no good bad copywriting jobs... anyway i did manage to continue my courier/ulysses brainrot and make this piece, which i'm still proud of

2020 → pandemic time. i spent a lot of time asleep at home and i think this was also the year i started doing commissions?? shoutout to anyone who has ever commissioned me - thank you so much, i truly appreciate it!!

2021 → i switched from my old-ass pirated photoshop to clip studio paint and never looked back. also i did a bunch of commissions for my grandmother's surgery, which failed, and i distracted myself from the sadness by drawing my ocs over and over and playing disco elysium

2022 → by this year, i've got moz down pat and have started vaguely developing other ocs instead. but she's still always at the back of my mind

2023 → i bought new brushes from true grit texture supply and immediately found new favorites that i started using for everything. i tentatively started incorporating background elements in some pieces!

2024 → while it's still too early to say where this year will lead me art-wise, i will say that i started experimenting in realistic paint studio (which i bought in 2021, the same time as clip studio paint) a few days ago and i'm liking the results so far. we'll see!

all in all, these last 10 years have been quite a ride, but i'm glad i stuck around and i'm glad you guys stuck around too!! much much love 💖💖💖

[alornights]

hii! i really loved your you and i romance troupe and was wondering if you could do one for craig’s group or maybe even the main girls?

⟢ you and i pt. 2

➜ in which ! you get romance troped again!

💌 ﹫team craig & team wendy.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗angst/hurt for some.

🍓 ⟡ notes — guess whos back. back again.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ CRAIG TUCKER opposites attract

he didnt hate you or anything he just found you so annoying.

you were loud and annoying and everything craig wanted to stray away from to make sure he isn't set off.

yet somehow he always draw to you and was always involved with you and he found that he quite enjoyed his time with you.

it was a gradual progression before his feelings were too much for him to handle by himself.

so he just asks you to date him in the most plain way possible.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ TOLKIEN BLACK fake relationship

he hated that cartman was always trying to set him up with nichole or any other person who wasn't white that came to town.

so when the two of you were talking one day and you jokingly told him how sad it was to be single he had an idea.

tolkien asked you to fake date him. for funsies of course.

you obviously agreed wanting to help your friend and get the girls off your back about not having a boyfriend.

but things started to get a little too real and now its almost like you are a #real couple. and tolkien wouldn't have it any other way.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ JIMMY VALMER oblivious to love

you had the biggest crush on him & everyone in the school knew

except him of course because well bros kind of oblivious.

literally people tell him straight up and he would think its a joke and laugh it off unless you personally go up and tell him.

its not even like hahahaha no way she could like me. he just thinks its a joke point blank and that people are fucking with him.

so when you do eventually tell him, he's shocked. but happy :)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ CLYDE DONOVAN matchmaker gone wrong

initially he was trying to pair you with kenny.

so he became friends with you to find out what you liked, what you did on your off times, any secrets that could help kenny, etc.

but the more time that he tried helping kenny, the more time he spent with you.

and more feelings in him started arising. and he couldn't help but fall for you even though he's supposed to be helping kenny.

but you fell for kenny, and he just hoped he could fix this all.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ TWEEK TWEAK trapped in an elevator

tweek was just heading upstairs for one of his deliveries when he got stuck, with you, a person he has never seen before.

you somehow manage to calm him down. god knows how.

then the two of you start talking for like an hour about random things trying to fill the emptiness of the elevator.

you two were so distracted with one another that you didn't even notice the door behind you open and the sight of freedom.

you deffo got his number after that.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ WENDY TESTABURGER pen pals

honestly, wendy didn't know why she decided to have a pen pal. she just remembers mr. mackey telling her it could be a good idea.

so she finds a club and starts lettering to you regularly, finding that it was much more fun than she thought it would be.

she loved hearing about your day, your gossip, your hobbies. all of it, she loved everything about you.

so when you mentioned your family was going to south park to visit an old family friend, the girl was delighted.

when she saw you in person for the first time, she fell 10x harder.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ BEBE STEVENS lovers in denial

the two of you were best friends, inseparable, the iconic duo.

so when bebe starts getting nervous around you she doesn't even give it a second thought, brushing it off.

but it gets to the point where she can't even think when she's around you, yet she continues to deny her feelings.

even after you confess your love for her, she denies and denies.

she shakes it off and continues with her life, while still talking to you, there's the tension that will always remain.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ HEIDI TURNER right person, wrong time

it was right after she had finally broken it off with cartman officially, and you found her at the park alone.

you were a light in her life after that, you had never discouraged her for dating cartman especially knowing both of their situations.

you helped her through so much and were one of the main reasons she had to courage to keep being a better person.

yet she could never bring herself to be with you, to never cross the barrier of just being friends, all because of cartman.

because no matter how hard you loved her, she couldn't bring herself to trust anyone, not even herself. and certainly not you.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ NICHOLE DANIELS fish out of water

you had recently moved to south park and you came from a normal city so experiencing life here, was strange.

and nichole understood you fully well. she had also moved a while back and had trouble getting used to the town by herself.

so nichole decides to befriend you and help you have the best possible experience you can when living in south park.

she introduced you to her all her friends, told you where you should and shouldn't go, who were the trouble makers. you guys spent so much time together trying to create this new life for you that you didn't realize how inseparable the two of you became.

though she couldn't help the stammer in her heart when you smiled and laughed. she loved it all, and she made sure you knew.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ RED McARTHUR sworn off romance

there was never a point where she distinctly knew that red knew she had feelings for you, it was a rather long build.

but when she realizes her feelings it's already too late for herself and you. the damage had been done and you both were smitten.

she tried her hardest to get rid of these feelings, she really did. but the way you smiled and laughed made her heart clench.

yet, she became persistent, no matter who it was, she just couldn't bring herself to create a romance with someone.

even after you confess your feelings to her she continues to swear off love, even if her heart breaks when you walk away.

[qiutls]

TNGDH 012

After the two fought, the miracle value rose to 8%, perhaps because I changed the course of the original plot.

This is quite expensive for just one performance of painting. Although, because of this act Kyle called for a veterinarian the day after.

'Your magical beast is quite cute, Your Highness....'

There was one problem, the doctor that came seemed to know nothing about magical beasts and could only say the sentence above.

But it was to be expected, how could a doctor who only examines rodents have any idea on what's wrong with a magical beast. I think it's even more amazing that there are veterinarians in this world.

'Was my acting too real...'

At this rate, if I really sneeze, the whole castle of Blake might be sent into a frenzy. The future of the North is bleak...

Kyle seemed to not want to leave my side, yet he didn't have a choice since it was a busy time and he needed to look over the preparations. It's not easy to be in charge of a territory. Still, seeing that the affairs are being finalized, he seems to be pretty good at his job as a lord.

Eventually he left the study to check the dinner preparation during the afternoon. He looked quite commendable today, so I'll let him kiss up to 5 times.

Thanks to him being busy, I also have some free time. As soon as I confirmed that he has moved far away from the study, I quickly used the skill and became human.

[ Good luck! (ෆ`꒳´ෆ) ]

*

"So you're saying your name is... Shu?"

I'm doomed.

I'm tired of saying 'I'm doomed', but I have no other words for this situation.

Right now, I'm roughly dressed in different pieces of clothing which I found in other laundry rooms along the path from the maid's laundry. I managed to find an attendant's uniform.

And although it didn't fit, I was lucky to find leather boots clean shirts and pants.

​Thanks to the nice situation, I felt a little elated thinking my luck has finally turned around, that is until I ran into Sen at the hallway.

"Well, yes, I guess-"

Sen frowned as I spoke indifferently.

"Where in the world would you find someone who says, 'I guess' when asked about their name."

Where you ask? It's here in this world. Since you wouldn't believe that my name is 'Cashew Nut,' I could only say 'Shu.'

I don't have any other name prepared, if I said my real name which probably doesn't exist in this world, you would think I'm strange.

So, I could only say that my name is 'Shu'. It's taken from Cashew Nut, although it's not a good name, I took it from the name the Grand Duke sincerely bestowed upon me.

The quick-witted Sen immediately recognized that I was wearing someone else's clothes. It's because of this shirt that's suspiciously large on my frame.

"Did you steal these clothes? Are you perhaps the infamous, companionship pervert-"

"I'm not!"

Of course, it's me, but I can't admit it!

What do you mean companionship pervert, I'm just a companion okay? When I shouted in reply, Sen grumbled and said,

"If it's not you, then why are you yelling?"

Luckily, she was as kind as she was clever. Instead of accusing me, she decided to listen to my explanation.

Thanks to this, I was forced to come up with a sob story of my past on the spot. I stammered and told her how my family was killed by demonic beasts when I was young and how I had nothing to wear now since I outgrew my old clothes. I also told her I couldn't remember the name my family gave me, so I gave a name to myself, thinking it was an appropriate name for me.

..... Come to think of it. It was not far from the truth, when I was young, my parents did indeed die, due to a car accident. And I was poor and unable to buy clothes.

"I see. It is indeed common for refugees to enter the estate or the castle during the festival. That's why His Highness prepares a lot of food during this period. A lot of orphans like you stumble around here."

Sen looked at me with a complex expression and said,

"I also lost my family, so I came here all the way to the North, just like you, I don't have anyone left."

She seemed to have felt sorry for me.

After our conversation, Sen disappeared for a while then brought back a few clothes. She said it was clothes usually worn by servants. It was simple and clean, and it was easy to move my body wearing it.

Thanks to Sen, my situation actually became better, so I gave the stolen clothes back to her.

"Shu, it seems that we are hiring more servants because there's not enough workers in the castle these days. Why don't you apply? You can stay at the castle, and you won't have to steal clothes like this anymore."

"I won't steal. Really, please believe me. I'm also embarrassed by my actions."

I can't believe I have to look for a job here as well. It's really hard to make ends meet. Everything was free when I was just a hamster. Ah, maybe because I paid it with my human rights.

I asked in a faint voice.

​"But there's going to be an interview, right?"

"Of course, they don't just blindly pick. And working here in the castle is much more sought out than you think!"

"Is that so? How many rounds will the application process have?"

Sen looked at me blankly as if I asked a weird question.

"Hmm? How many what?"

​"It's nothing..."

That's right, this isn't even a company. There might not be enough spots as well, so I need to do my best to get picked.

After that, I stuck with Sen as she gave me a tour of the castle. I earnestly memorized the layout of the Blake Castle and at the same time, eavesdropped on servants passing by in case I hear any rumors, I learned the way to the study, I found out about a passageway used by servants only, and discovered rooms that were not being used.

Thanks to this, I also found a good place to hide my clothes. It was the most fulfilling 30 minutes I've spent since I've transmigrated.

"Can I leave you for a bit? I need to give these documents to His Highness, he asked to strengthen the security, so I made a new timetable for the soldiers patrolling."

"Oh that, His Highness said he was going to return to the study, he must almost be there by now, it's fine we can take our time."

W-what? His Highness is returning to the study? Already?!

I stood stiffly on the spot.

It hasn't even been long after 30 minutes as a human, this plan is ruined again. If this continues, it's easier to count the moments in life that's not ruined.

"So that's everything about the East Tower, now let's look at the Central Area where the banquet hall is found... Huh? Shu! Where are you going?!"

"Sorry, I forgot about something I needed to do! I'll look around the banquet hall next time!"

Right now, the problem isn't that I can't look around the banquet hall. If I'm not back in the hamster house in 3 seconds I'm afraid the Blake castle will be turned inside out again.

I quickly stuffed my clothes in the unused storage room and closed it from the inside. I need to hurry and go back and pretend like nothings amiss...

As soon as the white light wrapped around my body, I suddenly felt uneasy. I had an instinctive intuition that I shouldn't release the skill without thinking.

'Hey system, can I specify a location inside the hamster house?'

[ Of course!  ]

'Then... please put me in the most out of sight. Where was it again? The place where I piled up the sawdust to make the ground soft? It's around the corner of the first floor.'

The white light slowly wrapped around my body again and as it flashed the surroundings turned brown. It seems I arrived safely as expected...

Then someone suddenly grabbed my body.

― Squeak! [ What the?! ]

"Cashew Nut."

His voice was several times lower than usual. Even when Belial was here, I don't think his voice sounded this gloomy.

Kyle's eyes fell on me, and my body trembled reflexively. H-hey! Wait a minute, what's wrong with you? Let's talk, just t-talk it out. Of course, you don't understand what I'm saying but-

'.... Why does it feel like your eyes are a bit off.'

No, not just a bit, I meant a lot.

"I thought you disappeared."

​I did disappear, but I was going to come back, it's just you came back before me!

I rolled my eyes and glanced at his hands, the tendons on his wrists, turned black and blue, as if he was preventing himself from exerting too much force on his hands.

Seeing the sawdust stuck between his fingers, he must've been searching the floor of the house when he saw I wasn't at the usual spot with the feeding bowl and toys.

Thump. Thump. 

A heartbeat that seemed quite fast could be felt from the palm of his hand.

Why are you so nervous. I'm just a magical beast found in the wild. If you act like this, people will think you love me more than you love your own life.

"Cashew Nut, please don't scare me like that again."

I heard him sigh.

Kyle looked at me with complicated eyes and gently stroked my head. His hand that was holding me was shaking, yet the hand that swept through my fur was so gentle and stable.

"Am I ridiculous for liking you this much? I don't know if the rest of the world thinks like Belial. But from the first moment I held you in my hands, I was determined to give you all the love I have. Isn't it natural to cherish you with all my might since I decided that you'll be my companion."

Why are you speaking such touching words.

I stopped twisting in his grasp and stretched out my paw to touch his palm.

​'You really must've been worried.'

That's right, I suddenly disappeared just a few days ago while you were washing up. For me, I was just turning into human to look around the castle, but for you it must have been shocking to find that I've gone.

I felt sorry towards Kyle. But I can't help it, I need to go out... Okay then, I'll adjust my schedule, how about going out when you're sleeping? Alright, let's do it like that.

Kyle put his lips briefly on my forehead and said affectionately.

"I want to make you the happiest magical beast in the whole world."

What a commendable remark. It's this hamster's luck to be picked by you. It's indeed convenient to live when your owner is a kind human.

"And if ever someone kidnaps you, he will not have the luxury of being buried in one place."

I take back what I said about you being kind. This owner is a bit strange. Please, don't be to obsessed with hamsters!

"Tomorrow afternoon, the vet will come again to examine you, Cashew Nut. It still bothers me that you fainted out of nowhere. Maybe you're too skinny.... I'll bring you a lot of special snacks tomorrow morning. For now, here, Sen brought you a beef snack."

Wow! Beef... Alright I'll let you slide even if you're too overbearing. Korean beef.... Ah, there's no Korean beef here. Northern beef, come to me~

By the way, you make me eat until I'm full every breakfast, lunch and dinner, but you think I'm skinny? Just because you can hold me with one hand doesn't mean I'm skinny!

​Back in my old world, I was originally a glutton. I ate a lot and ate more freely once I got here. I guess I brought that habit with me here.

'Is the hamster constitution, the same as human constitution?'

​Of course I don't know, I've never lived as a hamster before. Excuse me, does anyone know what's the average weight for a hamster?

"But it's alright, since you're still cute."

To Kyle, I seemed to be the definition of the most perfect specimen in this whole universe.

'This hamster otaku.....'

Hmph, still I felt a bit happy today, so I'll let it slide and call you a kind owner.

T/N:

everyone tysm for the notes and follow! it's really nice to see the number of readers grow! also please don't forget to support the author by buying the raws! it's linked at the novel masterpage :)

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[alliluyevas]

Here's a potentially controversial AG question for you.

Do you think adult Felicity would continue to own slaves?

Oh, wow, yeah, this is a heavy hitter. Honestly, historically and statistically, almost certainly yes. But there is definitely a semi-plausible chance otherwise.

I'm going to reframe this question slightly, because due to the legal system of coverture in her time, if Felicity marries, which she almost certainly will, her husband will have ownership of any property either of them bring into the marriage. So the question is more accurately: will adult Felicity be the wife and mistress of a household that owns slaves?

I don't mean to reduce adult!Felicity's moral or personal agency, but the answer to this question may also depend on who she marries, both in terms of his socioeconomic status and his personal beliefs about slavery.

Felicity's father and maternal grandfather are both slaveholders in the book series, though in different socioeconomic niches. Mr. Merriman is a shopkeeper in town with two enslaved laborers, Marcus and Rose. Grandfather is a plantation owner and there is presumably a larger workforce. (I can't remember exactly what the legal situation is after Grandfather dies in the final book, but I believe Mr. Merriman inherits the plantation through his wife which would imply she has no brothers, and then administers it while primarily living in town. I could just be completely making that up, though, and I couldn't find confirmation online and don't have my Felicity books on me at the moment.)

If she marries a man who is similar in socioeconomic status to her father (ie, a relatively prosperous shopkeeper or artisan in Williamsburg) he will likely own or rent slaves. If she marries someone similar to her grandfather, he definitely will. I can see either of these routes as plausible for Felicity. Living primarily in Williamsburg, she may be most likely to encounter townsfolk, but she would also potentially be courted by young men attending college at William and Mary, who would likely be from plantation families elsewhere in Virginia, or she might marry the son of one of Grandfather's neighbors or something. (Side note: there is one existing character in her books who might be a potential future Mr. Felicity: her father's apprentice, Ben. Felicity and Ben clearly get along really well and have a lot in common, and when Felicity reaches the age where she is thinking about marriage, Ben will likely be around, either still working with Mr. Merriman or a business acquaintance/family friend. It wasn't uncommon to marry someone with that kind of family/business connection at all. If Felicity were to marry Ben, he would likely eventually be in a similar socioeconomic niche to her father.)

So, what are the possible futures where Felicity and her husband are not slaveholders?

First of all, she could marry someone who is socioeconomically in a position where he simply cannot afford to do so. This is, imo, the least likely. I don't think her parents would encourage this. (I think Mrs. Merriman may have married slightly "beneath her" as I kind of got the vibe that Grandfather is wealthier than Mr. Merriman is, and he certainly is in terms of ownership of both land and slaves, which is how wealth was generally calculated in Virginia. On the other hand, this might also be a town/country divide, and Mr. Merriman is evidently able to comfortably provide for his family.) Also, if she was to fall in love with and marry someone of a lower socioeconomic rank, it is possible that her family would financially help him rise rather than that Felicity would just go off and be broke with him.

I think a more plausible route would be that Felicity either marries a man who is actively against slavery and her beliefs are then influenced by him or she independently develops anti-slavery convictions prior to her marriage and then chooses a man who has similar beliefs.

I do want to point out that there were a lot of Virginians in this general period who expressed anti-slavery beliefs while still continuing to own slaves. I think in many cases these people were experiencing genuine moral discomfort and conflict but ultimately chose to prioritize their own financial well being. I think, unfortunately, the most likely future may be one where Felicity experiences some moral qualms over slavery and questions some aspects of the society she lives in, but ultimately chooses to stick with the status quo.

However, I think there are some semi-plausible paths where Felicity and her husband might end up in a situation where they choose genuinely meaningful opposition to slavery. There are other situations in the AG books where characters get an ending that is better if historically less plausible, after all. (IE Addy's family is able to reunite. Samantha's relatives adopt Nellie.) Even if it's unlikely, this outcome for Felicity would not be unheard of.

For instance, she might marry a Northerner and goes to live wherever he is from. (If he chooses to move to Virginia permanently, he might also choose to conform to the economic system of the slave culture in his adopted state.) This happened with one of Thomas Jefferson's granddaughters who married a man from Massachusetts and moved up there with him. This would have been a woman about a generation younger than Felicity, but it's not outside the realm of possibility to happen earlier, either. I can't really picture Felicity wanting to leave her home and family, but if she's already developed anti-slavery beliefs on her own she might think it's worth it.

She might also marry a Virginian who believes slavery is wrong and is actually willing to do something about it. I wish I could remember the man's name, but I was just reading about some young plantation owner who wrote to Jefferson in the 1820s about his deep discomfort with slavery and his desire to free his slaves. Jefferson basically advised him to go slow and do nothing for the time being, and this man wrote him again chewing him out saying it wasn't enough. He ultimately chose to leave Virginia, and settle in Ohio, where he purchased plots of land so that his newly freed former slaves could start their own farms. This is later than Felicity would have been finding a husband, and this man's decision was one very few of his peers would have made. But, again, it's not impossible.

I think the man I just talked about had primarily ethical objections to slavery, not religious ones, but I think the most plausible way for Felicity to develop meaningfully anti-slavery convictions is through religion. The Second Great Awakening would have begun when Felicity was in her mid-twenties. Some people in Southern states who became evangelical Christians during this time period began to believe that slavery was a sin against God. The most famous example of this is Robert Carter III, a Virginia plantation owner who became a Baptist and ended up freeing over 500 people. (He also ended up having to flee the state of Virginia because people were threatening him over this and lived the rest of his life in Baltimore.) Evangelical conversions were most common among the lower classes, especially in the beginning, but also took off among women from higher social classes. Robert Carter notwithstanding, wealthier men were the least likely to be born again. So I think it's very plausible that Felicity might choose to become a Methodist or Baptist, but if she was 25+ at the time she would likely already be married and it is less likely her husband would also convert. So she might end up in a situation where she is opposed to slavery but her husband, who does not share her religious beliefs, is not, and he controls their property. Or, it's possible she marries later than the average, or she is widowed young and remarries a man from her church, or manages to convert her husband.

So, I can definitely see some pathways for an anti-slavery adult Felicity, but it would require both her and her husband to develop convictions and the moral courage to enact them that were highly unusual for people in their class and context. Unusual, but not unheard of.

[msnihilist]

going against the woke mind virus to say that i want to hear about your gwevin batb au!

SAY NO MORE, BELOVED ANON!!

Okayokay, so the world in this AU has magic, but not aliens. Ben is in possession of an incredibly powerful artifact, the Omnirune (name still pending) that lets him shapeshift into all sorts of creatures. It was created by Azmuth, the (arguably) most powerful wizard who ever lived. (Many who follow the Old Majick believe that Bezel is the greatest sorcerer ever.)

Anyway, none of that matters. Anodites in this AU are a female-only sect of witches, and they are incredibly powerful. Verdona was crushed to give birth to two boys, but when they grew up and married, she was hopeful that one of them would have a daughter so that she could pass on her majick. Both families were terrified of this happening, because it meant that Verdona would take their daughter away and raise her into majick without any interact from her parents.

By pure luck, Sandra and Natalie went into labor on the same night, a terrible, stormy night in December. Sandra was premature by two months, but to everyone's surprise, she still gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Natalie and Frank were devastated to be handed a baby girl.

To prevent Verdona from taking their daughter away, Carl and Frank switched their babies. After Verdona inspected Ben and lost interest in yet another male, Carl swapped Ben and Gwen and he and Sandra loaded up into a carriage and left in secret. Frank and Natalie presented a boy, and Verdona left. Later, they all met back up and decided that they couldn't lie forever — to keep Gwen safe and with them, their family would have to run away. Max helped them, even though it meant going against his wife. He didn't want to lose the kids any more than their parents did.

So the seven of them jumped from town to town. As Gwen grew older, her majick became stronger. And majick can be tracked, so they had to keep moving.

Eventually, though, when Ben and Gwen were eight years old, Max happened to run into an old warlock named Hex. He knew of an old place, an abandoned castle, where majick was shielded from the outside world, and had been staying there with his niece, Charmcaster. Hex allowed the Tennyson family to stay, as well.

There, they all finally settled down. Gwen could practice her majick freely and finally make friends who she wouldn't have to run from, thanks to the nearby town. Ben became enamoured with the idea of knights, and he swore that he'd always protect Gwen from their grandmother.

Fast forward, and Ben and Gwen are ten. They've strayed far from the castle while playing and stumble upon an old lab. This is where Ben finds the Omnirune, which seals itself to his wrist and won't come off. When the two of them flee, they're attacked by strange creatures guarding the place and Ben is badly injured. Gwen heals him, and the two of them manage to escape back home.

But in all the rush of making sure Ben is alright and trying to get that thing off of his wrist, Gwen barely even remembers healing him. She neglects to tell her parents that she used majick outside of the protective barrier. And it only takes a few days for her to pay the price.

Verdona arrives, smiling serenely. "This game of hide and seek has been fun," she says, as her family stares on in frozen horror, "but we've waited long enough to begin your training, Gwen. Come with me, darling." She isn't asking. It's a threat.

Ben makes the mistake of trying to defend Gwen. His newfound power makes him believe he can do it, and Verdona proves him wrong in an instant — she runs him clean through with a majick construct.

As Ben bleeds out, Gwen frantically tries to heal him. But it's not working. She can close the outside of the wound, but Ben has already lost so much blood, and his insides are damaged so badly, and he's going pale and slurring his words and all Gwen can think is, "not him, please, anyone but him."

"Poor thing." Verdona tsks in mock sympathy. "Perhaps his parents should have taught him to respect his elders."

And Ben's hand goes limp in Gwen's, his eyes glassy, and Gwen snaps.

All of her majick explodes out of her body in an energy wave that destroys the courtyard. With her fury comes cold, sweeping in like a terrible storm on a dark December night. Everything in Gwen's immediate vicinity freezes — the plants, her home, her friends and family. All of it is covered in a thick layer of ice.

But her outburst doesn't stop there. It sweeps through the village, a coldsnap that kills crops and animals and infants. The people flee while they still can and, slowly, clouds roll in and snow begins to fall.

Gwen collapses to her knees over Ben's frozen body. He's not dead — her majick got him lodged somewhere in between. And as for herself, Gwen looks at her hands and they aren't human anymore. She overdid it, literally blew her own skin off, and the being of pure majick at her center is all that's left of her. She doesn't know how to turn back, and there's no one left to teach her.

But she doesn't want to, anyway. Gwen can feel that, if she becomes human again, her majick that's holding this place at a standstill will fade. The ice will thaw, and Ben will resume bleeding out.

Gwen is stuck, in a prison of her own making. And she's okay with that. (It only takes a few months for the cold to inch its way inside of her, too, and Gwen quickly forgets what it was like to not be okay, or how to be sad or happy or anything at all.)

Years pass. Enter Kevin.

(Yeah, that's all just the background, lmao, I bet you forgot that this was supposed to be a Gwevin AU!)

I will save those details for later, if I get another ask about it. I think this post is long enough as it is!

[its-chelisey-stuff]

is this a classic in the making?? Too early too tell but I really miss obsessing over kdramas, so maybe this brings back into it?

finally caught up with Queen of Tears and I must confess I don't know what to make of Kim SooHyun's character yet. I get that the guy is only human, but the fact that his first thought at finding out his wife might die from a rare decease is happiness, it's cold. And wrong.

I mean I guess that's kinda the point, right? This guy thinking he's happy at this terrible news, is clearly an indication that the situation he's been living in since he married has messed up his head, but... I dislike him a lot for it anyway hahaha

And I know that it takes two to tango, and the way their marriage has come to this is definitely something that holds both people responsible. I see that the toxicity, manipulation and constant scrutiny from the Hong family (mixed up with the fact that HyunWoo's family is quite dependant economically on him and his marriage) could drive a guy insane, particularly a guy who seemed so in love with his wife at the start ready to take on everything and everyone, in the name of love.

But of course, now we have the added layer of the miscarriage/baby loss and it definitely complicates a loooot of things while also explaining them in a way. I could say HaeIn just shut off completely and decided to use Elsa's method of conceal don't feel, while the opposite happened to HyunWoo and the guy just couldn't help but feel everything. All the pain, the hurt, shame and stuff caused by the overbearing family in law and even his wife. I get it. But still, you once loved this woman, how can you feel happy at the thought of her death? Sociopath dare I say.

If it wasn't clear enough, at this moment, I'm on HaeIn's side, meaning that I feel more for her and her situation than I do for Hyunwoo, because I can relate a bit to her way of shutting everything out and where she's coming from. It's clear as day that she has experienced a lot of trauma from her early years (the loss of her brother, her mother blaming her for it) and now facing the terrible news that she might die on top of having scary episodes in which she doesn't remember shit. And she doesn't know how to properly deal with any of it. I'm sure that, when she first married, she was happily in love and in the bliss of it all, she forgot all of this unresolved trauma, but now that so much more has piled in, her only way of dealing is becoming ice. And I find that a lot more tragic than Hyunwoo's situation, so don't argue with me lol you won't make me change my mind

but damn, I still do root for them and want them to find a way back to each other...

I know kdramas and I know this writer and eventually, HyunWoo is gonna wake up to the fact that underneath all that resentment and poor communication, he still loves her. A LOT. I roll my eyes at the fact that another man had to come into the picture for him to start feeling dormant emotions and finding his wife attractive and beautiful, but I guess I'll take what I can. I know he will suffer terribly in upcoming eps, cause you don't just cast KimSooHyun to make him happy and silly. NO. You cast him to make him suffer and make him cry and cry and cry. (I still tear up at his breakdown scene from The Moon that Embraces the Sun).

At the end, if I'm to be guided by old dramas from this writer, my guess is that HaeIn will recover and live in the end. I'd be very surprised if she doesn't but tbh I'm preparing for that possibility. What I do know is that my girl is gonna suffer, and for that, I'm not that well prepared, nor do I look forward to it as with HyunWoo's pain and misery.

I mean, look at that face! I will protect and defend her till the end!

[tangledinink]

Love love love your human au of the turtles!! I've had a burning question for a while though:

What do the boys assume about their relation to Splinter? I doubt they wouldn't notice the fairly obvious fact that there does need to be two biological parents for reproduction, and that they don't really look like their dad, despite having no memories before him to suggest adoption. There's no way they didn't know he was kidnapped and held captive for seven years because when you're a celebrity that sort of thing isn't hard to find. Combining these facts, I know what conclusions I would've come to. Granted, I'm not exactly the golden representation of your average child, but at the very least Donnie would've definitely wondered.

So... What's their conclusion about the situation??

Ah, thank you! And this is actually a topic I explain way more in the I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? fic! But basically, the boys, for a majority of their lives, believe that their dad is their biological father and that their biological mother, who they do not know the identity of, was abusive in some way (leading to both their father's disappearance from the public and to eventually taking sole custody of them and them moving to New York,) and/or abandoned them-- but they've never really discussed it. Here's an excerpt from the fic on the topic, conveniently from Donnie's perspective:

---

"Donnie frowned a bit, shrugging. He was loath to admit it, but Leo did have a point. Their Dad hated to talk about himself or his past outside of trivia about his acting career. Donnie had tried to ask him about their extended family once, and he totally shut down. He wouldn't even tell them what his parents' names were. And the four of them had always tried to respect that. I mean... they knew it was all really complicated. I mean, jesus, he had basically been kidnapped and presumed dead for, like, twelve years. That had to be traumatic, right?

Most of what Donnie knew, factually, about their move to New York, he had gotten from old magazine articles and talk show segments that he found online later in life. He knew what all the reports and stuff said, sure, about the abusive ex, (their mom, he thought dimly in the back of his mind, whose face he couldn't even remember,) the going into hiding, the forced isolation. But none of them had ever talked about it. He had been really little back then, so he couldn't really remember very much. His memories were more general feelings or ideas rather than actual events. He remembered playing pretend games with his brothers more than anything. He used to think that that was odd, because he had never been much of a 'pretend' kid growing up, but his therapist noted that it was common for small children to use fantasy or make-believe to 'escape' from bad situations or explain away trauma. So he supposed maybe that was it.

He remembered it being dark most of the time. And he remembered his feet being cold a lot. There was this sound that he heard in his head a lot when he thought of it, but he had no idea what it was. Shhhh shhhhh.

... But that was about it. He and his brothers, in turn, didn't really talk about it amongst each other either, or with other people. It just felt... weird. Or wrong, somehow, he supposed? Whatever."

(... And, just for fun, another small excerpt from a one-shot sidefic I did from April's mom's perspective, back when the boys were still itty bitty...)

"She had, at one point, tried to convince the boys that they could just call her “Carol,” but when she had pitched it to the group, April had gasped loudly in offense and said that that was too weird, and if anything, they should just call her ‘mom.’ And then Mikey had declared that they didn’t have a mom. And then Raph had argued that they did have a mom, she was just dead. And then Leo had refuted that they did have a mom, and she wasn’t dead, she just didn’t love any of them. And then Donnie had signed something in ASL, too quick for her to quite catch, and Leo had nodded and quickly corrected himself, clarifying that their mom was probably alive and also existed, but she didn’t love any of them and also wanted their father to die."

[roxygen22]

Still Here

Chapter 2

Summary: Flashback to your breakup with Timothée your senior year

C/W: Breakup

A/N: I have nothing against stay-at-home parents and homemakers. Both are their own noble full-time jobs. This is just a story about a young girl wanting to break free. And yes, the irony is not lost on me that the reader ultimately ends up in the exact situation she was running from in the first place.

Catch up on the previous chapter here.

<><><><><>

Life was stagnant in your small hometown in Tennessee. There was nothing to do, nothing to see except trees and buildings that had been around since the 1800s. The height of entertainment for teens like you was pasture parties or meeting your friends up at the Sonic drive-in for "happy hour." After high school, the boys usually either worked for the local steel mill or lumber yard. They may opt to continue their education through the area trade schools, but that was the exception, not the rule. The girls...well, the girls typically got married and had babies.

The townspeople were closed-minded traditionalists and stuck in old habits. Families, including yours, had lived there for generations. You were lucky to even find someone to date who you weren't related to by blood or marriage, and that was only because Timothée's family was a more recent addition to the town census.

You yearned for more. You were made for more. You felt it in your bones. You had no desire to be a doctor or a nurse, but you were fascinated by biology classes and a whiz in physics. And you wanted to help people. The school counselor fanned the flames by introducing you to biomedical engineering as a potential degree program.

You wore a groove in your dirt driveway with the number of times you walked to and from the mailbox every day, multiple times a day. The response letters from your numerous college applications were due in any time now. Your efforts usually yielded nothing except for bills or ads for your parents. But today, there was white envelope with your name, along with a blue and gold logo in the return address: UCLA.

Your hands shook. Your heart was about to pound its way out of your chest. The world silenced around you as your tunnel vision bore into the paper in your hands. You plunged a finger under the lip of the envelope to break the seal. You took a shuddering breath as you drew the paper out.

"Dear [Y/N] [L/N], we are happy to inform you..."

You didn't even finish reading before you started screaming and dancing in the driveway. Then you took off running back to the house to share the news with your mother.

<><><><><>

Your parents were proud of you, but of course, they were not eager to see you pack up and move across the country. You tuned them out until they said something about being in for a rude awakening because you didn't know what life was like out there, to which you said, "That's the whole point."

You grabbed your car keys and stormed out the door. You were determined not to let them kill your excitement. They just couldn't picture a life for you outside of their bubble. You drove around the backroads with your windows down and music loud, trying to drown out the replay of your parents' conversation. Without much thought, you eventually found yourself driving around the town square. You saw Timothée's truck outside of the hardware store. You checked the time - he should be finished with his evening shift soon. So you parked and walked over, lowering the tailgate to sit.

The two of you had been friends as long as you could remember and sweet on each other for years. You became an official item when you were sophomores and had been joined at the hip since.

Seeing the store's door open shook you from your thoughts. You saw him exit, head down and hands in his pockets. Right on time. You loved how his face lit up when he saw you across the street. He checked for traffic, then jogged over.

"Hey, baby! I wasn't expecting to see you tonight." He pecked your lips with his and placed his hands on your knees.

"Hopefully, it's a pleasant surprise," you replied with a raised eyebrow and a playful smirk.

"Oh, very. The highlight of my day." He kissed you once more, deeper this time, and flashed that crooked grin you loved so much. "Though my curiosity is piqued by this unusual visit on a school night."

You held out the envelope for him to see. "I got in, Timmy. And they are awarding me a full ride! My parents won't have to worry about how to finance things and I won't have to take out student loans."

Timothée took the envelope in hand and brushed his thumb over the logo. "California, huh?" he asked quietly.

"Last I checked, that's where Los Angeles is located," you chuckled.

"You're serious about this, aren't you?" His brows were furrowed, and his typically full lips pressed into a thin line.

Your mouth fell open in shock. Why couldn't anyone just be happy and excited for you today? "Of course I'm serious. That shouldn't be a surprise. You even encouraged me to apply to out-of-state schools!"

Timothee held a hand to his forehead and stepped back. "Yes, because I didn't want you to wonder if you could get in. But, I didn't think you would seriously consider packing up and moving across the country if they accepted you!" he shouted and threw his hands in the air.

Your voice seemed like a whisper compared to his current tone. "If I don't leave now, I will never get out of here. I HAVE to get out of here. This place is a black hole. It eats your hopes, your dreams, your ambition. I have a lot to offer the world, and I can't do that from here. I don't want to be stuck, like our older friends, my cousins, my PARENTS. I'll just end up with a baby on my hip playing Suzie Homemaker and making nothing of myself."

"Starting and taking care of a family isn't nothing, [Y/N]. I thought...I thought we would be together forever. That WE would have that family."

"One doesn't preclude the other, Timmy. Come with me."

Timothée quietly scoffed as his eyes fell. "I have no prospects in California."

"And there's nothing for me here."

His head shot up in shock. The hurt was evident on his face. "Nothing? NOTHING?! Wow, [Y/N]."

"Timmy, that's not-"

"Just go, [Y/N]." His lip wobbled. "Obviously you think you are too good for this town. Too good for me. It's better that we call off...whatever this is...now so you can completely start over."

<><><><><>

Chapter 3

Masterlist

<><><><><>

Tag List: @croatianprincess

[whohasthecards]

Top Gun Medieval Fantasy AU Idea

IceMav operating an adventure guild/inn/tavern. Iceman is the head of the guild and Maverick is his right-hand man. Ice and Mav co-own the establishment. Most people don't know this, they just assume that Mav is pretty high up, because he's one of the top adventurers, and when he's not out and about, he trains or guides the newer adventurers (Mav does the dirty work Ice can't visibly do).

Potential additional idea: Iceman and Maverick used to knights, but stop and established a guild.

Rooster is a traveling warrior, but he is not part of the guild. He goes their only when it is necessary for a job, but he doesn't linger or stay. Bradley wanted to be a knight, but Mav used his connections to block his application to the academy. Bradley found out and left, cutting contact and went to find his way. Bradley was bitter, thinking, it all makes sense. Why Mav was reluctant in training him, only got involved in his training when he was older, and why it was mostly Ice who taught him. Mav never thought he could do it, he never had faith in his abilities. (Goose was Mav's partner and died in one of their adventures. Mav couldn't bear the thought that if he taught Bradley, and Bradley died, it would be because of the skills he passed down to him. Because Mav's skills at the time wasn't enough to save Goose, so it is not good enough for Bradley. Also Carole made Mav promise before she died.) On a side note, during his travels, Rooster picked up playing different instruments and is quite good at it. He's trying to remember the song his dad used to play him, but it's been so long that he can only really play the tune of the chorus. The lines lost in time (part of Rooster wants to ask Ice or Mav, but his pride won't allow him to). On the bright side, Rooster displays himself as a bard, allowing him to gather money and information easily as no one is suspicious of him. At least until he draws his hidden sword.

Hangman was raised to be a knight, he was taken in as a ward of a Knight's order, went through the academy, and was knighted young. He was well-known and people admired him. However, one day he and his partner were dispatched far to deal with a horde of demons. He and his partner figured out that there was corruption in the order that spread to the town folk, allowing for exploitation, which grew to warriors being hired despite barely having any fighting experience. The problem grew, until the town was overwhelmed by monsters every night. In the final battle, his partner died. When Hangman went to report what happened, the order decided to push the incident 'under the rug', with his partner's death being declared as an 'accident'. The order's reputation was far more important than the life of one man. Hangman was pissed and left the order, swearing revenge (and succeeding). Hangman still keeps the sword he used as a knight, but he never unsheathes it. Instead he transitioned to dual wielding two short swords. Hangman works alone, travelling and doing mercenary work. He doesn't care about anything else, but results. No one knows that Hangman used to be a knight.

Javy is from a blacksmith clan, realized that blacksmithing wasn't for him and decided to go on a journey. Found this creature, nursed it to help, and now follows him around. Someone eventually suggested that he use the creature as a mount. He did and he fell in love with it. He became well-trained in fighting while on his mount. Easily maneuvering any weapon while the mount charges. Coming from a family of blacksmiths, he understood how to use most weapons and that came handy in times of improvisation.

He became friends with Jake when they were travelling. They were forced to share a room together in an inn rather than camp outside and they got to know one another (Jake was sharpening his sword, Javy told him he was doing it wrong, they bickered, Javy impressed Jake and wrangled a thank you out of him). They keep on meeting each other throughout the next year or so, Jake even allowing Javy to work with him occasionally. After more than a year, Jake told Javy everything, Javy was heartbroken for his friend.

I have more thoughts about this AU, but maybe I'll write them down sometime else.

[hoodedboy79]

Papers Please: Inspector

Based off of Ending 2: Where your family all dies.

=============

Everyone and everything was gone.

His job.

His apartment.

His friends.

His family.

Everything was gone, took away from him.

When did everything start going wrong? When did God turn their back on him? When did his country turn it's back on him?

Was it when he took pity on those sex workers and let them through even though they didn't have the correct documents?

Was it when that Kolechian man thrusted a bomb at him?

Was it when he didn't report the Ezic immediately?

Or was it when he let Sergiu die?

The man wasn't sure.

As he stared down at his hands, twirling the band around his finger that symbolised the commitment he made to the woman he loved many years ago, the man pondered to himself about what he did wrong. His mind endlessly racing over all the events, and mistakes, that transpired over the last few months during his role as the 'Inspector'.

He wishes he never took the job.

Now he was jobless, shackled and confined to a cell. His crime? Not keeping his family alive.

His son had been the first one to go. His malnourished body couldn't handle any more cold, hungry nights. The medicine did little to help the usually sickly boy and eventually they didn't even have that, the price had become too high.

Grovelling to Calensk followed, hoping the man could spare some of the medicine that he usually smuggled for his wife. He helped as much as he could at the time but in the end, it was pointless.

And Calensk was also gone now. He didn't know where and it was probably better that way. He prayed that Calensk and his wife were safe anyway, hopefully out of Arstotzka.

Then his mother in law went, the heartbreak of her grandson's death taking her fairly quick. Dying 'peacefully' in her sleep, tears of grief still stained on her cheeks.

His wife was inconsolable. Regret weighed heavily on his chest, not only for not being able to provide for his family enough to keep their son alive but for not being able to be there for his grieving wife.

And then she was gone too.

His uncle didn't last too long after her either, succumbing to the illness he contracted from one of the neighbours.

He was a failure as a husband, a father, a nephew, a son-in-law, an Inspector and even as an uncle.

His niece, who was put into his care after his sister was imprisoned, relied on him fully. His family's death along with her mother's absence left the poor girl traumatised and clinging to her uncle with everything she had, crying softly into his coat the night he returned to find his wife no longer with them. The small child tried her best to comfort her uncle but everything about that night was fuzzy, a memory the man would prefer to push down for the rest of his days.

Now with him also imprisoned, the fate of his niece remained unknown to him. The guards and ministers sat tight lipped as the man demanded to know what would become of the girl.

He was fully alone.

Even his friend, that youthful, lovestruck boy Sergiu that promised to protect him while he did his job, was gone. Blown up by a terrorist, the day after he finally got to meet the woman he loved in person too, gleefully recalling to the older man about how Elisa wished to name their first child after him, because she believed the Inspector to be a good man. Sergiu's excitement for his future and the family he was ready to build with Elisa cruelfully stripped away because the Inspector was too slow.

How many lives has he ruined over these few months?

He shudders at the thought.

He can still remember the cold tone that announced his newfound unemployment, his mind can't seem to remember the face that was speaking though, nor the faces of the guards who promptly seized him. The bruises on his arm from their iron-clad grip the only reminder they were ever there.

"Your entire family is gone."

"The Ministry Of Labor focuses on Arstotzka's future growth."

"Workers are expected to support large, healthy families."

"Your position will be filled with someone more appropriate."

"Glory to Arstotzka."

=============

Just a fairly short thing I wrote while in college, isn't the greatest but I love Papers Please and wanted to write something for it 🤷🏻‍♂️

[deannagrey]

A Mendell Christmas: Part One

A little Christmas short for the holiday season! This occurs toward the end of Team Players, before Aderyn (spoiler alert for Team Players ending!) reveals she's leaving Mendell. (please excuse any errors, I'm not the best editor lol)

Naomi 

“Naomi?” A soft, rhythmic knock at the door called for my attention. “It’s me.”

I tugged off my headphones and glanced at the clock. I’d been so knee-deep into online Christmas shopping I didn’t realize the time. 

"You ready?" Lincoln was out of breath — undoubtedly from taking the stairs two by two because he couldn’t stand the time it took to climb them. 

I smiled at him. His eyes were bright and full of infectious excitement. He bounced on the balls of his feet like he was ready to take action at a moment’s notice. 

“For what?” I couldn't help but tease.

“Naomi.” His shoulders sagged and his smile tapered off into near non-existence. “They’re all downstairs right now and in the worst mood ever. We have a job to do and you’re going to tell me you forgot?” 

I laughed and got up from my desk to reveal the bottom half of my outfit. Relief smoothed Lincoln’s brow. He chuckled at the spin I did to make my green, tree skirt light up. His bouncing was back. 

“You really thought I forgot?” I tugged off my sweatshirt to reveal the ugliest Christmas t-shirt I could find at the local thrift shop. It had reindeer patches, a multitude of Santa Clauses, and enough colorful candy cane to make one feel cross-eyed.

“You’re just so good at bluffing, Sunshine,” Lincoln said and pulled out two Santa hats from his bag. Both were green and trimmed with gold fabric. My name was embroidered in black thread on one. 

I gasped and stood still as he placed it on my head carefully as if it were a crown.

“There, now you’re all set,” he said. 

“This is so cute! Where did you get it? Wait…do you know how to sew?” 

“No, I wish. I just know people who know people who know how to sew.” He nodded in approval at how the hat looked on me and then, placed his own on. “I got one made for all of us. I wanted it to be perfect. A holiday to remember despite…well, you know.” 

Lincoln had been planning this for weeks. And as his partner in crime (or elf in crime depending on the level of Christmas spirit), I was committed to helping him. 

“It will be perfect,” I promised while adjusting my hat. “They’re going to cheer up and we’re going to make this a time to remember. They’ll be so holly and jolly we’ll probably get sick of them.”

Lincoln laughed. “God, imagine.” 

“Anything is possible this time of year,” I said even though seeing Sam, Henrik, and especially Finn more excited than Lincoln and I would be a sight to behold. 

“Are we all set?” I grabbed my phone, ready to record reactions for the eventual short film Lincoln wanted to put together. He was going to call it “Our First Christmas.” When I asked if they’d spent holidays together before he said, of course. 

“Why first then?” I’d wondered. 

“Because you’re here and now, our family’s bigger. It’s our first Christmas together,” he’d said so casually like it was simple and my inclusion vital. I’d cried that day and Finn almost got into it with Lincoln until he realized it was good tears. 

“Almost set,” Lincoln answered me. “Just one more thing…”

He tossed a garland around my neck. I snorted but didn’t protest. 

“Now you’re perfect!” He grinned. “Remember your cues?” 

I rolled my eyes, good-naturedly. “Of course I remember my cues. I’m a professional.”  

“That’s what I like to hear.” He started out the room and I followed with an equal amount of pep in my step. 

Lincoln had big plans for his Secret Santa event – something of which I didn't originally think needed much of any planning. But in any event Lincoln put together, he committed ten times the necessary energy and focus. And I was lucky enough to also be his second. We wreaked havoc on our household with our combined forces. The guys feigned fear of our events, pretending they hated being roped into the fun. It was a farce they kept up even now as I marched into the living room. 

"Uh oh," Henrik teased from his spot on the couch. He closed the book he was reading, using his index finger as a temporary bookmark. 

Sam was lying on the loveseat with his legs hanging over the edge of the armrest and a glassed gaze on the ceiling. My heart tugged at the small smile he flashed in my direction. He'd been in a dark place after his relationship with Aderyn had been left in a state of limbo. I couldn't get much out of him but Finn relayed some of his fear. Sam was a large chunk of the reason why Lincoln wanted to go so hard this holiday season. The guys didn't usually exchange gifts but retail therapy was something Lincoln thought could cheer everyone up. 

"What's this?" Finn was in the kitchen, loading the last bit of dishes into the dishwasher. He smiled when I twirled once for him to admire the lights on my skirt. I’d been sworn to secrecy about Lincoln’s plans but that didn’t keep me from at least showing my boyfriend the outfit earlier. 

Finn loved a lot of things about my skirt…mainly how it clung to my waist and provided easy access for him to do what he wanted. My cheeks burned when I remembered how long we’d spent in our room this morning. How long he insisted on being underneath me. 

Finn flashed me a knowing smile before finishing up the dishes. 

“Uh…” I cleared my throat, trying to get back on track. 

“The lights,” Lincoln whispered from the staircase. He tried to keep out of view, readying for his big entrance. “If I may have your attention and then, the lights.”

Sam laughed at Lincoln’s obvious coaching. Score. It wasn’t his carefree laugh but it was better than his forlorn staring. 

Henrik was polite enough to pretend like he didn’t hear Lincoln. He made a noise of wonder when I clapped and the lights went out. 

“Since when did we have that?” Sam sat up, completely intrigued. 

“Irrelevant,” Lincoln said and then whispered to me, “Tell them it’s irrelevant.” 

“I installed them last weekend,” Finn explained. 

“You rewired our living room in a weekend?” Sam asked, impressed. 

“It didn’t require rewiring,” Finn said. 

“Nowadays, sound-sensitive lights are pretty common and simple to install,” Henrik added. 

“Irrelevant,” Lincoln repeated, this time it was a plea. 

“Right!” I called in a voice louder than usual. The guys jumped and turned their attention back to me. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is our main event.” 

“What?” Sam glanced at his friends, searching for explanations. There was enough light from the sun setting outside to bleed into the living room and flood the floor with a warm red. The red painted their faces, revealing similar expressions of curiosity. 

“All I know is that she needed sound-sensitive lights.” Finn shrugged and joined Henrik on the couch. “What she needs, I get.” 

“Simple and straightforward,” Henrik said when Sam looked at him in exasperation. “Did you expect he’d be anything else?” 

Sam chuckled and sighed. “No, I guess not.” 

“Gentlemen,” I said and unlocked my phone to start the music. An instrumental version of A Holly Jolly Christmas played. “Tonight is our first annual Mystery Secret Santa.” 

“Mystery Secret Santa?” Sam asked. “That feels repetitive. Isn’t Secret Santa already a mystery?’ 

I frowned. “Okay, are you going to let me finish my introduction or not? We have a dance to get through.” 

“Oh, there’s a dance?” Sam’s face lit up. He pulled out his phone, ready to record. “Say less.” 

Henrik and Finn tried to hold in their laughter, succeeding only when I shot them silencing glares. 

“I would like to present to you this night's host,” I announced with a dramatic gesture of my arm. “Lincoln Hill.” 

Henrik set his book to the side and clapped at his friend’s entrance. His smile grew wider when he saw Lincoln’s dramatic fur-lined, red cape and the oversized carpet bag he toted.

“Good evening,” Lincoln started in a deeper voice than usual. He bowed to our audience. That was my cue to turn on the multi-colored, twinkling Christmas lights I’d lined around the living room’s entrance. 

Henrik’s clapping got louder and Finn joined in. Even Sam looked impressed, whistling at the light show as he directed his camera to them briefly. 

“Taught her that,” Finn said quietly with pride. 

I smiled at him and continued, “Mr. Hill will tell you all how our mystery will unfold.” 

“Okay, Mr. Hill,” Sam teased. “Let’s see what you got for us.” 

“In the two-story house, right off Highbury Lane, lived five very studious university students.” Lincoln walked around the living room as he spoke. With each sentence he said, I lit a candle. Warm light slowly brought life back into the house. 

“We live off of a street,” Finn mumbled. “Right?”

“We do,” Sam assured.

“Ssh.” Henrik patted Finn’s shoulder. “It’s fine.” 

“All of which,” Lincoln continued, choosing to ignore the interruption. “Had a bloody, red secret.” 

“The best kind,” I said. 

“Very,” Lincoln agreed and winked at me. “Each secret was written down and hidden to quell their guilt. Due to sacred law, that secret was to be revealed once a year. And during that time, they were cursed to read a fellow housemate's secret. Once the secret was shared, they would temporarily be free of guilt during the holidays. Free to be merry and bright.”  

“That’s kind of sad when you think about it,” Finn mused. 

“It is.” Henrik hummed in agreement. 

“Okay, guys, it’s not supposed to be sad,” Lincoln quickly abandoned his spooky deep voice for his normal tone. “It’s supposed to be fun lore.” 

“But we’re cursed,” Henrik teased. “How is that fun?” 

“Yeah, since when are curses fun?” Sam wondered. 

“I can’t.” Lincoln turned to me with a groan. “They’re so…them.” 

I laughed and hurried to his side to unzip the carpet bag. “It’s fine. We’ll just move on to the picking.” 

Lincoln sighed, shook out his shoulders, and resumed his narrator's voice. “One sheet for each housemate. One chance to end their guilt by confessing to their murder.” 

“You’re first.” I took the bag and hurried over to Sam. 

“The broody leader with a heart more tender and kind than he lets on,” Lincoln said. 

“Alright, cool it with the titles,” Sam grumbled and dug his hand into the bag. 

“Well?” I asked when he opened the sheet. 

“Um…I can read it aloud?” he asked. 

“Yes, it’s a mere riddle. Something only you and the murderer will connect on,” Lincoln said.

“That makes no sense,” Sam said and shrugged. “But whatever. It says, I murdered in secret. My feet made no sound. I can construct the coffin easily. My hands are skillful enough to handle the ground…What the hell?”

“Next,” I sang and moved to Finn. 

He reached into the bag with one hand and snuck his free hand to the back of my knee. I breathed easily under his warm touch as he read his riddle. 

“I murdered between jokes. Made a sound like no other. I’m an easy catch. Just remember I’m nobody's brother.”

“Can we trade?” Sam asked. “I think I know that one.” 

“No trades!” Lincoln demanded. “The bag has chosen.” 

“Your turn.” I smiled at Henrik and he returned it before retrieving his confession. 

“I murdered in daylight. I was drowning in yellow. My fingers typed fast. I felt nothing but mellow.” Henrik chuckled. “Cute. I like this one.” 

“And you.” I skipped to Lincoln and shook the bag a little. He used a hand to cover his eyes before picking. 

“I murdered with a spoon. Or maybe it was a fork? Whatever it was, it happened under the moon. Whatever it was, I didn’t do it for sport.” Lincoln breathed a sigh of relief. 

“And me,” I claimed the final sheet. “I murdered determined. I did it first. As a leader, I wasn’t afraid. As a person, I don’t fear any curse.” 

I smiled, pleased. 

“Well, there you have it,” Lincoln said. 

“No, I really don’t.” Finn frowned down at his paper. 

“You can get the help of one murderer,” I said. “But only one so choose wisely.” 

Lincoln nodded in agreement. 

“I got you,” Sam said and Finn sighed with relief. Sam whispered a name into his best friend’s ear and the guy lit up. 

“Ah, that makes a lot more sense," Finn said. 

“Are we good then?” Lincoln bounced on his feet again, already geared to start his Christmas shopping. 

“No, not yet,” Sam said and pulled his camera back up. “We’re going to need that dance you two promised us.” 

“Oh right.” I started toward the Bluetooth speaker. Lincoln caught my elbow before I could leave. 

“Nope, they don’t deserve our dance.” Lincoln shook his head. “Not unless they stop laughing and appreciate our efforts.” 

“No one’s laughing,” Sam said while…well, laughing. 

“You're such an asshole,” Lincoln said with a smile. “No dance this time. We will reveal our talents when we know they’ll be appreciated. Right, Naomi?” 

“Right, exactly.” I nodded. Finn caught my eye and something in his gaze told me I could be convinced to do a private show later. 

“That’s all we have for now, folks,” Lincoln announced. “It’s up to you to do the rest. To figure out your fellow murderer and make sure your present is the best.”

“I do love it when he rhymes,” Henrik noted. 

“And I don’t,” Sam joked. “But this is entertaining so I’ll allow it.” 

“Come on,” Lincoln said. “Get off your butts and start looking for gifts. You’ve got twenty days until Christmas Eve. Let’s make every one of them count.” 

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.163 See about me

Desiree woke up at a decent hour again, and I think I have it figured out. I put her to bed pretty late after our sweet potato adventure, so maybe if we keep her awake until we're about to fall out, she'll keep normal sleeping hours. We go downstairs for breakfast instead of having a bottle in the nursery. This time we try mashed carrots. Again, she eyes the jar curiously, probably hoping for another round of sweet potatoes. I start up the airplane, but this time when the spoon gets close, she smacks the carrots off the spoon and plays in it, making a huge mess.

Like, where did that thought even come from? What about breakfast triggered playtime? I mean, she went to town on those carrots. My child woke up and chose violence. It was so random and kind of hilarious, honestly. Maybe they weren't mashed enough for her tastes, heh.

"Uhh...I thought you were hungry," I said. "You know that's breakfast, right?"

She shrieked and giggled and looked so happy. I let her have fun and make a mess of everything in sight. Eventually she remembered what we were here for and let me feed her the carrots without any mishaps. Once again, she ate the whole thing.

"Was it good? Did you like it?"

Her face took me all the way out.

After all that fun and mess, the carrots were just okay I suppose. We'll have to try them again another time. She's getting to be so smart though, listening to the tone of our voices and learning our body language. I keep saying this, but it'll never stop being true. I love watching her grow, especially on the heels of her birthday. Things in her brain and body are happening fast to prepare her for toddler life. I know she's gonna own that too.

I got her bathed and cleaned up the mess. Around 11, we received an unexpected yet welcomed guest. Justin came by to check on me, and I appreciated it so much, even though we were getting ready to get dressed for the cemetery. Like I said before, we rarely hang out or talk, and my life could definitely use more testosterone, so I let him in. Less won't mind the delay. It's not like we're itching to lay our mother to rest, anyway. I woke up with zero plans to do the memorial today, but Sophia checked me. My mind was on Desi, and she knew it. She said I'd been busying myself with her to avoid it. I didn't see it that way, but she pointed out how I didn't even talk about Mama anymore. The more I keep things inside, and longer I put this off, the harder it's going to be, she said. She's right; she always is. So I texted Less and told her today was the day.

Like everyone else who's checked on me, he wanted to know how I'm holding up. His parents passed away many years ago as he is the youngest of five, with a substantial age difference between him and his older siblings. His parents had two sets of twins back to back and thought they were done. I guess they got a little reckless right before little Justin showed up, heh. His parents and the oldest brothers are gone, and the middle twins are quite old and probably on their way out soon, too. I knew he came from a big family, but that was news to me. I couldn't imagine dealing with losing my entire family and living without them for so long. He was basically the only child, so he's used to being alone. Still, I admire his resilience.

"How do you cope?" I asked.

He keeps himself busy, mostly. He has lots of friends because he frequents the karaoke bar where we met. He also joined a mixology club to meet like-minded sims and do what he loves. Working in a bar never appealed to him. The hours suck, and it only pays well at the highest levels. His social life was too important to give it a try, so he joined the Mixing Crew. It scratches the itch to make drinks while also creating a special bond between friends. I knew clubs like that existed, but never thought about finding one that suited me.

I loved learning more about him, and I especially appreciated the visit. We chatted for a little while longer before Sophia joined us and gracefully told him we had to leave. She knew I'd let him stay as long as he wanted and would put off this burial ordeal for another day. I love her so much. She keeps me in check and makes me do the hard things. Mama's advice from ages ago flashed across my mind. Think about what you want for your life, find someone who fits, and don't settle until you find her. Make sure she is the one person you can't live without. Take your time. One and done. Sophia is definitely my one and only, and she fits my life so well I can hardly believe it sometimes. I've always been grateful for that speech Mama gave. Sometimes I think it's the only thing that kept me focused when I was drowning in options, heh. I feel fortunate to have had a mother who cared enough to share her scars and the ugly parts of her life and had the hard conversations, just so we wouldn't repeat her mistakes. (sigh) Let's do this thing.