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grippingbeskar · 1 year

Text

duality

: ̗̀➛ joel miller x fem!reader

warnings: explicit content 18+ (mxf, f receiving, dirty talk, joel being a king as per usual) swearing, mentions of death, mentions of canon typical violence!

a/n: hii! this was based on this request right here - oh my god. i am obsessed with this, i really hope i did this justice! i kind of just started writing and went where it took me lmao. its all just smut at this point so like don't look to hard. also thank you to @everybirdfellsilent for the title name and answering my question "how do i write this?" with a simple "why not write both?!" you are a queen.

✩ ੈ * ⚬ ʚ♡ɞ ⚬ * ੈ✩‧₊ ₊‧ ✩ ੈ * ⚬ ʚ♡ɞ ⚬ * ੈ✩‧₊ ₊‧ ✩ ੈ * ⚬ ʚ♡ɞ ⚬ * ੈ✩

“Joel… what time is it?” You keep your eyes screwed shut when you begin to fight the muddiness of deep sleep away, but the early morning sunlight in Jackson always sneaks it’s way through. You stretch out, reaching for him in a natural reflex, and instead of answering you he just presses closer. You keep your eyes shut, letting your other senses guide your hands to his shoulders, enjoying the feeling of him under your palms.

You could hardly open your eyes right now, but you could do this. Lay here with him— you could do that easily. You and Joel had a string of long days recently, and you’d hoped, or at the very least expected that he’d be so tired he’d sleep up until the last possible second.

Apparently you were wrong, as you feel him shift under your hands to the point you lose your hold on him. He kisses you once on the lips, light and feather soft, and you smile sleepily, toes curling at the gentle touch.

“Mornin’.” His voice rumbles through you, low and brassy, waking your bones before your brain could catch up. As his hair tickles the skin of your neck, you can feel him moving lower, the warmth of his body leaving your chest and hovering over your stomach.

You reach for him blindly, and he guides you back even when you sit up on your elbows and peak one eye at him. You watch him move, his own eyes still half lidded, but his hands more awake than ever. They slowly slide over your hips, drawing faint patterns with his fingertips. The warmth of his rough palms move further up over your tummy, pawing at you to lay down on your back. ‘Relax’, he whispers, and your chest tightens. He moves you languidly, using your half conscious state to mould you where he wants to put you, and you let him, no resistance in your muscles.

With a hand still sliding up and down your bare skin, he leans down close enough you can feel the touch of his nose on your cheek. Before you can move to take control, he dips his head. First down to your jaw, the heat of his mouth making you shiver when he kisses along all the sensitive spots. He’s light and quick, your delayed reactions making it easy for him to move without interruption. You wonder how long he’d been awake. Waiting for you to stir, just so he could see you squirm.

His tongue licks indulgent lines further down your body, teasing your skin with his lips following suit. He starts at your collarbone, then tucks the fabric of your shirt higher so he can see you bare below him. The blanket covers over his head, but the light is strong enough that you can see his eyes watching your reaction as he plants soft kisses down your chest. You swear he smirks when you arch your back, nearly groaning at the light but not nearly enough pressure.

Your hands finally wake themselves when he mouths at the skin of your lower stomach, brushing through the soft curls on the top of his head. He hums against you, eyes flicking up with warmth lining them, and smiles slightly. The sight tugs at a string of your racing heart, and you keep your voice low when you manage to speak.

“Joel, let me…” You fade off, eyes fluttering as you attempt to bring him back up to you. You want him to feel good too— so as much as you love where this is going, you know the two of you can’t have very long this morning, and you want to make the most of it. “C’mere.”

He shakes his head, mouth too busy to reply as it dives into the newly exposed skin of your thighs. At some point he’d taken your underwear off— or maybe he’d done it in your sleep, making sure you were ready for him in the morning.

You’d both been exhausted last night, so as badly as you’d wanted him, you knew neither of you could keep your eyes open for more than twenty seconds. Joel had grumbled a few curse words at how he couldn’t even hold himself up, and as soon as your heads hit the pillow, and you curled in on his chest light a weighted blanket, you were both out like a light.

Joel was clearly making up for lost time. Slowly, he spreads your legs, his hot breath fanning against your core. The feeling makes you unconsciously try to close yourself from him— the feeling and the way his eyes were staring so intensely at the most intimate part of you.

“Joel, come here—“ You try again, and his hair brushes the inside of your thighs when his head shakes again. His eyes look to you, and they almost look… pleading.

“Please, baby. I need this. Let me.” He sounds half broken— his voice cracking and hands gripping your hips. His hold wasn’t harsh, still keeping those gentle, sweet touches he’d started with, but it was enough to hold you down and keep you right where he had you. “I’ll make you feel so good, I swear. So… so fuckin’ good. Don’t I always?”

His shoulders press you open wider, leaving no room for insecurity. You just nod your head as he stares up at you, wide eyed, waiting for permission. The lines of concern in his forehead disappear when he sees you agree, chest deflating like he was relieved.

He drags the tip of his nose lightly along your inner thigh, and you can feel your legs already shaking in anticipation. It was one thing Joel did so well; he almost didn’t know he did it. Making you wait. All day, he would work you up so subtly— soft touches, intense stares across the field. Words whispered only to you, so any reaction you had would seem out of line. And then here… indulging his every want and need while you sat patiently, waiting for him to decide when, and where, and how.

You’d do it over and over again, because you knew what came of it. What came when you did exactly what he wanted. Sometimes it was fun to fight him back, be a bit of a brat about it, but right here, when he was working you up so nice and asking so desperately— there wasn’t a damn thing in the world worth that.

“Fuck, baby you’re so pretty.” His teeth replace his nose, tracing the same line along the opposite thigh. His fingers massage circles into your hips as he feels you fidget and shake, the world still spinning slowly above you. “You’re gonna take it so well for me this mornin’, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah. A-anything you want. I just—“ Your breath hitches when he kisses closer to where you’re all but aching for him, right in the join between your leg and pussy. “I need—“

He groans into you, never giving you a chance to finish your sentence as he buries his tongue between your legs. You cry out louder than you mean to, the hand not buried in Joel’s messy hair slapping over your open mouth. Joel smiles against you, tongue swirling around your clit in the way he knows makes you dizzy with pleasure.

Everything was too hot. It was winter in Jackson, snow falling gently onto the windowsill, but the blanket over you mixed with the heat Joel was spreading up your stomach was too much. Your back arched and he took the change in direction with eagerness. Groaning your name, he flattened his tongue and caught your eyes before they rolled back into your head, his eyebrows furrowed and concentrated.

“Oh, god… Joel. Joel, Joel—“ It was all you could think of to say, the pleasure shooting white hot sparks up your spine and sliding you further down the bed into Joel’s onslaught.

He was messy. Joel ate you out with an enthusiasm you never found anywhere else. Maybe it was the fact that there was nothing good outside the four walls you’d both found yourself in, the rest of the world cold compared to the warmth of your bed— or maybe he just fucking loved it as much as he always said.

Whether he did this for you or for himself, Joel knew exactly how to build you up; it was so quick you couldn’t prepare for it. His hands held your hips tight as you squirmed— grinding your hips forward to match his pace as he let you use him to chase your release. The sounds he was making were only spurring you closer— slurred words of praise hardly audible, his voice horse and breaking like he could hardly manage them.

“Good— fuck, you taste good.” Each word is muffled underneath you, but it hits you hard in the chest. Being praised by anyone made your heart flutter, but when it was Joel? Capable, stoic, hard-as-nails Joel? It was entirely different. A whole other ball game. And he fucking knew it. “You close, baby. Fuck, I know you gotta be. So tight…”

“Oh fuck. Fuck, I’m so close…” You whimper and he hums in response, the vibrations pushing you over the edge. Your fingers gripped his hair harshly, his mouth only working harder to keep its lock on you. He wrapped his lips around your clit, eyes fluttering open halfway to watch you, and the sight is what undid you.

“That’s it. Fuck, there’s those eyes…” You hear Joel mutter but you can’t form words to reply. Everything was on fire, your stomach locking tight as the waves of pleasure wrapped you into a ball and burst over every inch of skin. It was cliche, but it felt like fucking fireworks went off in your chest, Joel’s hands an anchor keeping you from taking off with them.

He was halfway up your body when you came back to it, kissing and touching you so gently you could have cried if you had the energy. It was moments like these that he was the most vulnerable— where he couldn’t get enough of you, indulged himself in you, but did it with such sweetness and… well, love, that you knew the man he didn’t think he was anymore was still in there.

“So pretty. Sound so damn pretty when you cum for me.” He whispers against your mouth before kissing you hungrily. It’s teeth and tongue, a mix of you and him on your lips as he pulls away to look at you, catching your bottom lip between his teeth.

Your hands reach down to tug lightly at his boxers, and he huffs, shaking his head against your mouth.

“M’not done, baby.” His voice makes you shiver all over again, pleasure still stirring low and hot in your tummy. “S’fuckin’ good.”

“I can’t, Joel…” You whimper, his hand ever so slightly brushing between your legs. You jolt upwards, your body betraying your words.

“Yeah, you can. You can f’me, yeah?” He was already moving down, ignoring your whines as he made his way back to his favourite spot in this house. He was quicker this time, knowing you’d still be sensitive.

It was addicting. He couldn’t get enough of the sounds you made, the way you tasted— it was like the best game he’d ever played. Joel was an adrenaline junkie— he knew it. He was smart about it, but he longed for that rush of endorphins when he was winning a fight or putting bullets into bodies. Out of all the shit he’d done, though, nothing compared to this. The best adrenaline rush he’d ever felt was right here, hearing you scream his name as he tasted every fucking inch you of he could manage.

He was messier this time. Wrapping his mouth around you and swirling his tongue in quick, mind-numbing movements that had your fingers burying deeper into his hair. He nearly came at the feeling of it— you, trying your hardest not to hurt him but still yanking him into you, hardly giving him an inch to pull away. Not that he’d every fuckin’ dream of being dragged away from you now.

“Joel… too much. Fuck— I’m…I—“ He bucked his hips against the mattress, the way you whine his name is like a stab at his chest every time. His nose brushes against your clit again as he tastes you deeper, your voice broken and tapering off into barely there words.

He knows you’d stop him if it was really too much. He knows if he pulled away right now you’d drag him right back where he wants to be, where he knows he’s fucking good at being. Joel wants you closer— all day, he can’t fucking find it in himself to drag you under his arm or kiss you like he wants in front of all those people.

He was too possessive.

None of them get to see you like this, how your eyes get all soft when he kisses you, and how you sigh his name when your body moulds to his. No one else gets to see this. He’s the only one that can break you like this. So when he has you? He doesn’t stop until you make him.

“Just a little more f’me.” Joel’s low, cracking tone sends a violent wave of pleasure skittering across your stomach, butterflies erupting at the sound of him.

His movements weren’t timed anymore, still just as indulgent, but he was losing his control. His hands were tighter now, fighting against the surges of your body off the mattress. You hoped it would leave marks behind— proof of how badly he’d needed you this morning. How much he wanted you to Stay. Put.

“Baby, I can’t—“ You choke out, a hold on his hair so hard you swear you might rip it out.

“Mmhmm.” Is all he rumbles against you, and you think he speeds up, or does something different, or maybe he just looks at you again— because you drown in the onslaught of whatever it was as you feel the familiar rush of pleasure all over again.

This was something different. Everything tightened and released, and you could feel how wet you were— a damp mess underneath you only present when you could feel your heart begin to slow again. Joel doesn’t move from his spot, arms still wrapped around your thighs, fingers drawing slow circles into the shaking muscles.

“God, baby. Fuckin’… never get tired of seein’ that.” He wasn’t looking at you, at anything really. His eyes were shut, forehead pressed to your inner thigh as he tried and failed to catch his breath. “You feel good? You there?”

“Mm.” You push out, feeling the warmth of his laugh between your legs. “Can’t… can’t feel my legs.”

“S’okay. You’re not goin’ anywhere.” His eyes open again, half lidded, and he begins a slow descent, mouthing the bruises he’s left behind as he sinks down. Your back bends off the bed, but he presses you down with a gentle hand. “Lie back.”

“Joel… wait, I can’t. I—“ You can’t talk between small, shuddering breaths, and he just shakes his head, looking at the mess you’ve left behind.

“Keep sayin’ that, but here you are.” He stops, hovering over your stomach; waiting. Waiting for you to tell him to stop for real.

“Lemme keep goin’, darlin’. Just a little…” He groans at the way your hips shift lower, closer to his mouth despite your words. “Fuck. Little more. Need this.”

His nose brushes against your clit as he looks up, holding your eyes as he spits slowly down your centre.

“You like it, don’t you?” He says, a smile on his face even when his voice wavers. You whine, maybe in protest or impatience, but he coos at you either way. “I know. Shh. I know, baby. Just stay right…here.”

You think you black out when his mouth wraps around you again, sounds and colours all blending together in your mind in a way that nothing makes sense except for the way his tongue feels on you. Minutes or hours could go by— every responsibility you might have drifting to the back burner when he was here. Right here.

“M’right here. Never lettin’ you go.” He groans, his hips grinding into the soft covers, and you give in, knowing he’s got you.

✩ ੈ * ⚬ ʚ♡ɞ ⚬ * ੈ✩‧₊ ₊‧ ✩ ੈ * ⚬ ʚ♡ɞ ⚬ * ੈ✩‧₊ ₊‧ ✩ ੈ * ⚬ ʚ♡ɞ ⚬ * ੈ✩

It might of been a good morning, but it was another shitty day.

Winter in Jackson was good and bad. Good, because clickers and runners couldn’t make their way through the thick snow, and froze before they ever got close to the gates. It meant less patrols, less waste of resources, less need for supply runs; it was the closest to normal you got.

Bad, because while clickers weren’t made for the heavy fall of winter, neither were the fucking fences.

Everything broke down, cracked and froze during winter. There wasn’t a single area that didn’t need repairs, so while you weren’t needed on patrols, it meant you’d be out in the field, dragging plywood or banging nails into something. Even with all the hours you'd spent on your area, it felt like there was still miles to go, your hands aching by the time you found a minute to rest.

You could see Joel the entire day, too, which only made it worse for your wandering mind.

You could see him getting pissed off, ordering the young guys he’d been posted with around and up ladders. You know he’d want to relieve all that built up tension when he got home. Sometimes it was a matter of talking it out, listening in a way Joel wasn’t really used to before you. Other times you sat in silence, pressed up behind him in a steaming bath until you could hear his breath start to slow.

Today, you had a feeling it would be something a little different.

You hadn’t gotten to continue things at all this morning. By the time Joel dragged himself away from between your legs, he was already 45 minutes late to his post. Still, he walked you into the shower, holding you up on wobbly legs, trying his best not to get too distracted with how you kept kissing his jaw and looking up at him all innocent. He managed to get you dressed, too, and with no time to spare he gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and all too suddenly you were standing out in the snow, alone.

So that, and the fact you could see, and sometimes even hear his low voice grumbling orders all day was doing nothing to help your focus.

When you finally saw the sun begin to go down, you didn’t spare a second before you all but sprinted off, bursting through the door of your shared home. You quickly shook off your clothes, the warmth of your house making you strip down to just one of Joel’s old t-shirts. Now, you waited.

When the door burst open a few hours later, you were like a dog hearing a lead. You jumped out of the bed, watching Joel from the top of the stairs as he carefully stepped through the threshold. He’d found the carpets laying on your floor for you a few months ago, and he knows how much you love them, so he balances on one leg as best he can to take his muddy, snow covered shoes off before he called out to you.

“You home, darlin’?” He kept his voice soft in case you were sleeping, but smiled when he caught you basically hanging over the stairs. “There she is.”

“You’re late.” You say, squinting down at him with a smile and your arms crossed.

“Didn’t realise I had a curfew.” He smirked, shaking off his jacket and abandoning it over the couch. Playful Joel was one of your favourites. It made you as warm as the crackling fire behind you.

“Well, you do. And you’re late, so better get moving.” He raises his eyebrows, a bigger smile playing on his face as he walks to the bottom of the stairs.

“You know, I was gonna cook you dinner and everythin'. Do a real nice thing here. How longs it been since we did that?” He walks slow, every step groaning under the weight of him. Your heart swells at the idea, and if you weren’t so hell bent on jumping on him, you’d take him up on it.

"That sounds n-nice." You take a step back as he gets closer, something about him still intimidating you- even when you knew the man underneath. “Plenty of time to eat tomorrow, though."

When he finally clears the stairs, you don’t have time to blink before he’s surging in front of you. His hands find their home on your hips, staying light when they pull you toward him and make up the rest of the small distance between you. He must remember how hard he held you down this morning.

“Is that my shirt?” He mumbles into your hair, already knowing the answer. He nudges your face to his own, smirking confidently. "You miss me that bad?"

“Nope. It’s Mark’s from today. I just got sooo hot lifting all those planks of wood I had to take all my clothes off, so he—“ You’re cut off by your own squeal when he lifts you up, hands gripping your ass tightly.

“Very fuckin’ funny.” Joel growls low in your ear, but you can feel him smiling against your skin as he walks you to your bedroom, kissing you dizzy.

It’s a little embarrassing how easily he drives you to the brink. All he has to do is say your name a few times, whisper it against your skin, and kiss you like this, and you’re gone again. His. You’re his to mould and bend, your arms lifting as he drags the fabric of his old shirt up your stomach and chest.

He watches with an intense stare, goosebumps rising where the fabric brushes lightly over your sensitive skin. When he finally slips the shirt over your head his control snaps and he’s on top of you, and he’s everywhere.

His hands slide up your sides, spanning the entire space of your waist and ribs, coming over your chest and cupping your breasts in his hands. You arch your back, chasing his mouth as it presses hungry, quick kisses between movements, his fingers catching over your nipples making you moan his name.

“Thought about you all day.” You confess, nipping the skin of his jaw. He huffs a breath, your hands tangling once again in his hair. It’s still slightly wet from the cold, curling around your fingers in something like ringlets. “Needed you so bad, Joel.”

“Greedy little thing. Didn’t get enough this morning?” He laughs, and it's almost mean- teasing. You roll your hips into him slowly. It wipes the smirk off his face, turning it into an almost painful scrunch of his brow. “Fuck.”

“You didn’t let me touch you.” You whine, rolling into him again. He drops to hold himself up on his forearms, hands touching you where they can reach. “Always want to touch you, Joel.”

“Shit, you gotta stop talking like that or…” You repeat the slow movement of your hips, and he runs out of words, practically whining into your mouth.

“It’s true.” You bite his bottom lip, a little harder than necessary. “Wanna fuck you all the time. It’s distracting. Always… always think about it.”

Joel moans your name brokenly, and you take your chance. A small push with your leg collapses him on his back next to you, only that easy because he wasn’t expecting it. He’s sitting with his back against the headboard, and before he can shuffle down you straddle him, locking him in place underneath you.

One of his hands grabs the back of your neck, hauling you to his mouth, and you let him take control. You might be sitting on top of him, fiddling with his belt and tugging his pants down, but he is still in control. You know he could flip the switch in a second, and he’s just indulging you, but you take what you can get.

It’s so rare he lets you take care of him. You could count on one hand how many times he’s really let you do the work, but when the opportunity comes, you were going to take it and run with it.

He was still searching your body, fanning out his fingers and running them down your spine, leaning you closer. He takes off his shirt so he can feel you against him, his tongue licking into your mouth like he needs to learn you inside and out. When you finally get his pants off, you don’t waste a second, both of you gasping when you feel the thick head of him against your heat.

“H-hold on, you gotta… Jesus Christ.” Joel curses, his forehead pressed to yours. “Let me get you ready for me.”

“Mm-mm. Ready. Please…need it.” You shake your head, angling your hips just right, and he slumps forward in something like defeat when your hand snakes down and presses him inside of you. “Oh, god.”

"Fuck. Slow down, baby. Nice and slow." He stutters out, his hands coming to your hips to try and hold you up. Joel was... big. Big enough to the point where you should of taken your time, worked yourself up a bit more, but you just wanted him so bad-- "Hey, look at me."

Your eyes flutter up to him, and he kisses you quickly, like its an apology. You stay there, feeling the slight sharp pain fade quickly with how desperate you want him, how fucking wet you were already. In a few seconds you try to move again, and Joel's hands tighten around you.

"You can stop, baby. It's okay, you--"

"No! Don't want to. Just... fuck me, Joel." You say a little harsher, shaking your head where its now tucked into the crook of his neck. You sink down further against the push of his hands, and he groans your name lowly as you feel him split you open, taking the last inch of him.

Your hands were still tangled in his hair, and where you were rendered speechless, he couldn't seem to shut himself up.

"Fuck. So fuckin' tight, Christ." You feel his palm on your ass, pushing you forward just slightly, creation a friction that has you whining. "Yeah, I know baby. Feels good. Fuck, you feel so good."

When you don't feel that pain anymore, you start to grow desperate for more. Joel was right. You were greedy tonight, and the friction of your hips against his just wasn't enough. You wrap your arms around his neck, shutting up his rambling with a lazy kiss, and use him to rise up just a little, before sinking down again.

He says something into your mouth, but the words are lost when you begin to repeat the same motion over and over again. Heat builds in waves, crashing higher and higher in your stomach until it makes your toes curl, your jaw dropping open to moan a broken version of Joel's name.

Your eyes roll back, head falling to the side, leaving you open to Joel's mouth who sucks harsh marks just below your jaw. You know you'll be covered in them tomorrow, but right now you don't care. You can't seem to care about anything else, except the way Joel is buried so deep inside you, you swear you can feel him everywhere.

"Focus on me. Need to see those pretty eyes, girl." He nudges you straight, your neck no longer able to support the weight of your head as it falls forward to rest on Joel. He groans again, matching your pace with his own movements, and you get louder with the added force. "Fuck, that's it. Let 'em hear you."

Everything turns molten inside of you, liquid heat spreading from the tips of your toes to your heavy head, and if Joel wasn't fucking you back so hard you don't think you'd be upright. As soon as he was inside you, you lost all sense of direction and control, like your body knew to trust him, to give yourself over to him.

His hands wrap tightly around your waist, bodies pressed together as he takes the work out of it for you. You move together— you’re so close you don’t have a choice, and when the hot, tingling feeling ripples up your spine you can only do exactly what he’s telling you.

“Take it, baby. Take it. Good— fuck, good girl.” His head drops from where it was pressed heavy against your forehead, dipping into the crook of your neck. Your palms can feel the release in his back, the way he relaxes as he finally gives himself to you. The noise he makes, and how he almost whines your name is a calling card, hauling you over the edge with him.

He rides it out. Makes it linger, all the pleasure and relief flooding your body in burning waves, and when his hips start to slow, his mouth trails kisses from your neck, all the way up your jaw and to your mouth. He breathes in when you breathe out, both of you wiped from exhaustion, but he can’t pull himself away.

It was like this morning, how even though his back was cramped and he was late as fuck to work, he couldn’t stop. At the expense of himself, he’d starve himself of everything if it meant being here with you.

“Christ, darlin’. Fuck, you’re so good t’me.” He says it like it’s a bad thing— words laced with an anxious wave, like you’d realise it wasn’t right, and leave. Even with him still buried inside of you. “Look at me.”

Your eyes blink open, hands still tangled in the curls of his hair. You can’t tell him all the things you want to— how he deserves this. How much you want to give him, and how if anything, you were the one who didn’t deserve this. Instead, you smile at him, and it seems to say everything all at once.

“You okay?" Joel's muffled voice asks, holding you tightly against him.

"Mhmm." You hum happily, a sleepy smile on your face as his hands cup your face. You feel his thumbs trace the high points of your cheeks, and his lips press to your nose before your eyes open.

You stay right there, his eyes watching you with no real purpose, just taking in the sight of you here with him. When the two of you finally muster the energy to go down stairs, Joel follows through with his promise to cook for you, and for this first time all day, your complete attention is captured.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x fem reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #tlou #tlou joel #tlou joel miller #pedro pascal

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armoricaroyalty · 3 months

Text

For some reason, when she kissed him, he thought of Theo.

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Transcript under the cut.

WOMAN 1 | ...for real, I've been like, completely obsessed. WOMAN 1 | Like, there was hardly any wedding coverage for Jacques and Vivi, right? And that was my first royal wedding! I thought it was normal! I didn't know I was missing out. WOMAN 2 | Right? It feels like everyone's been saving up all their hype. WOMAN 1 | Has anyone else been following the dress rumors? WOMAN 2 | [ sighs ] I just hope Emily's dress isn't as boring as Vivi's was. WOMAN 2 | Vivi's whole wardrobe is boring! She dresses like a toddler, it is so unflattering. WOMAN 1 | I know, right? She should ask Lady Em to take her shopping. WOMAN 3 | Lady Emily is soooo gorgeous. WOMAN 2 | She's too good for him. He's always been such a scrub. WOMAN 1 | Whatever! I'm just glad it's a real love story, not just a shotgun wedding. An office romance... [ dreamy sigh ] Like, it could have been me! THEO | [ scoffs ] [ The conversation died immediately, and the silence solidified into something like hostility. Theo turned to see five pale, contemptuous faces fixed on her back, and her heart jumped up into her throat. Fighting to keep her expression neutral and her voice even, she stood and announced to no one that she was going to lunch. They pretended not to hear her. ] WOMAN 1 | ...she is such a stuck-up b-word. WOMAN 2 | Did you know that she used to date Prince Frederick? WOMAN 1 | Oh my god. Her? WOMAN 2 | Yeah. That's how she got hired here after she got disbarred or whatever. WOMAN 3 | Yeah. And her mom dated the King before he married the Queen. WOMAN 1 | Oh my god. She's a second-generation royal girlfriend? Gross. WOMAN 2 | D'you think her daughter will actually land a prince? WOMAN 3 | Why not? [ giggles ] Third time's the charm! [ Even in the warmer months, the gardens at Yew Court Palace stood empty. In February, the fountains were dry and the ivy dormant. Fat crows stirred in the bare branches overhead. Somewhere nearby, muffled by hedges, came the low hum of passing traffic. ] [ It was a food place to be alone. ]

THEO: I am going to kill myself or my coworkers, havent decided yet FREDDY: Nooooo dont do that FREDDY: Id have noone to text if you were dead THEO: Aw, no friends? FREDDY: Nope :( THEO: Pobrecito FREDDY: O baby. Talk dirty to me THEO: Lmao THEO: For real though THEO: Gonna kill my coworkers THEO: Or myself FREDDY: What did they do this time THEO: They are just openly talking shit about me now THEO: IN FRONT OF ME FREDDY: Wtf???????? FREDDY: Want me to have them fired lol THEO: I can fight my own battles tyvm FREDDY: Whats your battle plan? Stapler in jello? Sign them up for boner pill emails? THEO: Find a new job and leave them here to choke on their own incompetence FREDDY: Love when you talk about choking :heart_eyes: THEO: LMAO perv FREDDY: Cant help myself lol FREDDY: Anyway…sorry about your terrible job. Mine kinda sucks rn too THEO: Isn’t your job rn wedding planning?? FREDDY: But it’s not it’s actually mediating between my mom and Emily THEO: Do they not get along? FREDDY: No they get along fine but it’s like. FREDDY: My mom clearly has Ideas (tm) about how the wedding should be and em clearly wants something completely diferent and it is just constant FREDDY: Theyre killing meeeeeee THEO: That sucks. Are you at least getting your own ideas in too? FREDDY: Not really…altho tbf if i was getting my way it’d be like. Courthouse wedding. In and out. THEO: My parents got married at city hall FREDDY: Dreams really do come true THEO: They sure do THEO: Okay this is going to sound weird but...I felt like the wedding plans didn’t really seem like you THEO: if that makes sense? THEO: Like I get that you're a prince but a huge formal wedding isn't your vibe at alllll FREDDY: You know me…my kind of party involves a lot more helicopters and blow THEO: LMAO I thought there was just the one helicopter FREDDY: See this is why we’re friends lol FREDDY: You keep me honest

#sims community #ts4 #ts4 story #ts4 storytelling #ts4 royals #ts4 royal family #armorica story #chapter 4 #behind the scenes #character: theodosia adams #character: frederick st. fleur #character: emily chandra

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kingconia · 1 year

Note

#4, #9 and #28 with Rook Hunt! He seems like a possessive lover

4. “You know I'd do anything to have you stay by my side, right? Anything.“

9. “Damn it all to hell, if I don't get to have you tonight then I'm never going to be able to have you.”

28. ”Come and get your fix.”

cw: slightly spicy? mentions of possessiveness and slight obsession (from both sides, lmao)

•

In the world of kings, princes and magical creatures, you were no one.

It was something you accepted rather quickly; this world was never yours to begin with, and no particular sadness was met by this early realisation. The role of temporary guest came easily to you, the understating of the fact that you will leave this place as soon as Crowley will come up with something, always lingered at the back of your mind.

And so, attaching to someone was prohibited. From your perspective it would be easier this way, to be able leave it, without loving someone.

You were nice to everyone to the point all of them meant nothing to you. You treated them like characters, whose stories you witnessed accidentally. Different books with curious main characters. And nothing more.

Well. Until Rook Hunt.

This story started rather ridiculously. While you hunt down backstories of others, he hunted down you. He thought of you—and that was flattering—as a unique beast to this little collection, a new target. It was the fact that you had nothing in this world that made you so special in his eyes. An attractive little thing, he said.

Despite everything—or rather, exactly because of it—you preferred to ignore him. You rolled his eyes as you felt his ghostly presence in the rooms, and your lips thinned when he talked to you, spluttering little complements here and there. Eventually, though, you got used to it.

To all of him.

In one of many days like this, you suggested him to stop hiding in the bushes or climbing on the rooftops. Instead, you allowed him to follow you.

And the game began.

What started as a strange experience ended up being the most meaningful thing that you made. He was following you, and from now, you followed him as well. And what others called a strange alliance between two of you, grew into something more.

Apparently, Rook was kissing as skillfully as he shot animals down. And, oh, you were nothing in your soul if not starved.

Rook tasted as a pure madness; a tip of his sharp, arrow-like tongue filled your mouth with bittersweetness, dragging your further in the tunnel of insanity, along with him. His every single touch, each praise, tied you even more to him, making utterly desperate.

Rook Hunt tamed you. And you were happily giving up.

”Oh, mon précieux,” he murmured, pressing his chest to yours, as he caught in the corridors of the school, shamelessly, ”it is a little late for running away from me, don't you think?”

It was. Yet, you gave it a try.

The impact of his man dawned on you suddenly as you realised how far you were from your own rules. Your own decision not to be attached to anyone was long forgotten. Now, you know, leaving this world will hurt.

”You know I'd do anything to have you stay by my side, right?” His soft lips pressed to the line of your chin, in something between a kiss and mere touch. ”Anything.”

You closed your eyes, collecting yourself. It was time to stop this game.

”Rook, cut your nonsense,” your breath came out as a roar, when his fingertips traced down your neck, stopping on the tight-buttoned collar. ”I will leave this place eventually. Stop hurting both of us.”

”Maybe I should just break our favourite mirror,” he purred, as if ignoring what you said completely. ”That will leave you without a choice, hm-m.”

”Rook,” you hissed.

His voice was sweeter than honey, and the words that left his lips were so nicely poisonous that you desired nothing but to drink it right from his mouth.

What a graceful nightmare he was.

”Be honest with me, ma prière, do you truly believe that you will ever leave this place?” He stopped his distracting actions, eyes now fully on you. ”Or is that your own way to apologise before people you left in another world?”

You hardly had anyone back there, and you never felt belonged to anywhere. Could it be the reason why you were sent here? Could it be the argument to allow Crowley to stay? Could it be—

”You are thinking too much, mon amour,” the tip of your noses met. ”Will you have me or no?”

Oh, how dared he to ask, when he knows it already?

”Damn it all to hell,” you laughed bitterly, fingers digging in his lean shoulders, bringing him as close as it was only possible. ”If I don't get to have you tonight then I'm never going to be able to have you.”

Your breath mingled together, and the sharp corners of his lips curled in a disturbingly beautiful smile, when his hands squeezed your hips possessively.

”Here you are, ma bête. Come and get your fix.”

Before you know, your lips were already brought together as you clinged to each other desperately, teeth meeting with a clicking sound, and tongues intertwining in breathless gasps.

Rook might tamed you. But he didn't win. Because it was your name that was engraved on his heart, just as he branded his own in your chest.

And there was no turning back now.

•

A/N: Rook calls reader ”my precious”, ”my pray”, ”my love” and ”my beast” on french in this order.

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #twst rook #rook x reader

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committingwarcr1mes · 7 days

Text

mitski once said:

“i don't need the world to see that i've been the best i can be, but

i don't think i could stand to be where you don't see me”

and now i have to write this.

i really don’t get why people are so superficial about griffith, y’all like “nah, he always was evil vicious callous etc 🙄🙄🙄” and not even trying to look beneath, which is really discouraging because the eclipse arc made it very clear and showed everything in the most obvious way possible.

oh, remark: it’s only about berserk 1997.

so let’s start from afar. “griffith never cared of his people and friends, he easily betrayed them for batman costume 👻👻👻” like WTF?? he DID. he DID CARE. he sold himself to feed and equip his people, and it wasn’t like “he enjoyed f***ing that bearded guy ahshdjsa lmao 😂🤡🤡” (btw i don’t get this crap cause it seems like y’all are so obsessed with rape theme, but while feeling sorry for one victim you at the same time make fun of another. the hypocrisy of this fandom i can’t--). but return to what i’ve started. griffith always cared for his people; he never showed it and never admitted it even to himself, but he remembered everyone who died fighting for him, and i guess sometimes he really blamed himself for that — but again, never admitted it. those scenes weren’t given just for drama or something — these contradictions were always an important part of his character and determined his sight. failure would make victims meaningless. like people died for nothing.

another thing people don’t understand is that griffith never cared only about the power and the fact of becoming the king. people never strive to go on top just to go on top, all our actions are motivated by deeply personal reasons. so i think he really wanted people to follow him, believe in him, attach with his yearning. it always feels good when you see that people like you, need you, rely on you. that is what makes a leader a leader. of course you can say that it’s a selfish and vain wish, but aren’t all people selfish? you always set guts against griffith — so weren’t guts’ wishes and life stance selfish? i think it ridiculous to judge such things.

and now we get to the core — the need for love. love of thousands is pleasant, but in the end humans need something more than that. it’s lonely at the top, as they say. you still need someone to be close to, to trust and rely on. for griffith that “someone” was guts. “ wELL aCtUaLlY hE wAs NeVEr iN lOvE wiTH gUtS 🤓” oh STFU. you didn’t get the homosexual drama, but i did 🤭

and now i’m not going to speculate on was it healthy love or sElFiSh or tOxiC or pOsSeSiVe, i don’t care, you need to get that love can be twisted, sick, destructive, wrong, but it still LOVE. i agree that griffith did use guts for his own affairs, pulled in palace intrigues and etc, but it doesn’t change the fact that he had feelings for him that were able to confuse and mess him up.

“amongst the thousands of comrades... and the tens of thousands of enemies... there was only one man... you were the only one... who ever made me forget my dream” like WHY DO YOU THINK THIS NEEDED TO BE SAID??

their relationships deserve a separate paragraph actually so i won’t drive too deep. all we need to understand is that guts became too important to griffith and it was literally the end to everything he worked for during all those years.

so, guts decides to leave, nothing now can stops him. griffith is messed up and disordered, he’s crushed and isn't really aware of what he's doing. and it is a very good subtext here — he feels rejected, so he goes to charlotte who’s obviously in love with him and has sex with her. it’s a reckless impulse, a moment of weakness, and it leads to the only mistake that cost EVERYTHING. and then griffith is tortured, mutilated and losing even the possibility to talk.

retreat: i find quite interesting how easily he lost that fighting with guts. you can say “well it’s just because guts is stronger blah blah blah etc 🙄🙄🙄”, but i think it was probably about griffith’s subliminal unwillingness to hold someone who’s already decided to give up on him. however…

what is going on in griffith’s head during all these horrible events? guts. guts guts guts. logic chain is simple: he got here because of guts, he lost everything because of guts, guts is the reason for everything he has to pass through now. i’m not blaming guts, but it’s just how griffith was thinking there — which is not surprising, like imagine yourself going through this kind of torture while remembering whom have you been and what you were striving for. all can imagine, but not all can understand.

“and yet… here, in this empty, hollow world… one thing is clear in my mind. him alone… like lightning splitting through the darkness… he appears in my mind so vividly. over and over again like the waves of a tsunami… hatred… friendship… jealousy… frustration… helplessness… affection… sorrow… they all come together into a giant vortex… they pin my fading consciousness down so that it doesn’t slip away. the one who caused this… my confinement in this darkness… will now… become the only chance at survival. when did it happen? this man, whose life was once in my hands… when did i fall into his powerful clutches? and now… in my mind i see him radiating so brightly it pierces in my eyes. guts!” IN BLACK AND WHITE

and this was the moment when love started to turn into hatred; when the pain of abandonment is so strong that it destroys the rest of the feelings. no one made griffith go to charlotte and do what he did, and yet he was so messed up with guts’ leaving that he went and did it. and now he isn’t even able to talk, to walk and to hold anything with his hands. no more fighting, no more winning. no more way to fulfill his dream. all because of guts. and still, affection is living. that moment when guts & co came to save griffith and guts holding him, griffith stretches his arm to touch… or to choke him? guess we’ll never now. however, some kind of hope flared up in him again. guts came back, and probably it will get better…

but oh, it won’t. only worse.

moving on scene when griffith lays in carriage and hears guts and casca conversation on the outside. it’s a VERY important moment that many people overlook, but it is exactly what led to the eclipse events as they are. so, guts is going to leave again and offers casca to join him, casca refuses because she needs to take care of griffith, and when she said that guts decides to stay. with HER. for HER. not for griffith. the story repeats itself, and griffith is still not that significant for him.

and look what happens here. griffith’s people saw his injuries and knew that he can’t lead them any longer. one part of them is going to follow casca now, the other one — guts. they all gave up on him. so did guts. the last one, whose affection griffith desired the most. what is for casca… it is a pretty complicated moment, but a part of the problem here is feel of betrayal. you can think as you wish but i’m considering casca as more like a sister, a fellow, a loyal companion and an assistant to griffith, than a love interest. like yeah, he had a dream where he lives with her taking care of him in small nice house, but… i think it is a question of a habit. we saw two women in griffith’s life: casca and charlotte. charlotte could be a key to power, but i don’t think that griffith wanted to even remember her after the torture. casca, on the other hand, was the one who was near him for quite a long time. she cared for him, supported him. so if griffith needed to give up and live normal life like simple men do, he would choose casca as a partner just because there is now other woman. but at this moment casca took guts away from him. another betrayal. and of course, it starts the jealous.

after overhearing guts and casca’s conversation griffith gathering his strength and drives horses to… somewhere. i don’t think he was fully aware of what he was doing, most likely it was just an another reckless impulse, but he gets into a river and decides to 💀 himself. it was a peak of his despair, but accidentally the red behelit returns to him — and the eclipse starts.

no need to retell, just want to make clear two things: 1) why did griffith betrayed his friends for batman costume 👻👻👻 2) and why he raped casca

moment №1.

besides obviously outlined in the series “he built his way on corpses and he must go on with no regret blah blah blah ☝☝☝” there is a much more important element of disappointment. like yeah, griffith is definitely disappointed about people and affections by this point. he’s not a leader for his people anymore; if they still feel something for him, it’s more like a pity for the cripple. and of course — guts. affection that cost everything, the reason why he appeared in such a position.

so now he has a choice: to sacrifice something that only ruins and ruins and finally get what he dreamt of the entire life, or to choose things that once already destroyed him and live the rest of the life as a cripple even unable to speak. noble are those who chose the second option, but i absolutely and with no doubts understand griffith’s choice here.

so yeah, now griffith chooses the power over everything indeed. he chooses himself and only. good for him <3

moment №2.

the rape. and the reason why that sacrifice was so bloody and brutal. yeah, all the people who appeared there with griffith went through hell right before their death. i don’t think all these sufferings and such nightmares were needed, like just blood & flesh & bone would be enough to give a body to femto, and still it was as it was. why?

it was said that femto will be born on the ruins of griffith’s dream. THE RUINS. so i think there was ruins of his personality either. during the last year griffith survived dreadful torments, the physical pain he suffered is unimaginable, and the trauma that leaves after such horrible events is immense. and it’s not a rare thing when people who survived violence now want to bring that pain to others — to make others suffer like they have suffered. femto is a product of griffith’s worst angles of personality, of darkest things that lived in him. so yes, everyone had to anguish and die the most dire way possible.

same thing is with casca. griffith NEVER wanted to rape her, like WHY WOULD HE EVEN DO, but he was angry and jealous because guts chose her over him. femto soaked it and just did the worst thing possible to avenge. and THE CORE: femto did it in front of the guts, so HE could watch. it was never about casca. only about guts.

idk what to write in conclusion. griffguts completely devastated me. love is an evil thing. never do such 💋

#griffith they will never make me hate you #griffith #griffith x guts #griffguts #berserk #berserk 1997

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mbakuetshurisprincess · 2 years

Text

The Garden

AN: Okay wow did not expect to have this many people like the sneak peek of this fic so THANK YOU! I’ve had this account since 2018 so to anyone whose been here since then, I commend you, my writing was pretty bad back then LMAO! This is literally the longest fic I’ve ever written so that's cool. I super enjoyed this Shuri and would love to write more versions of her in the future. If you have any requests, my asks are on. If not just dm me fr fr, i love inspo. Player!Shuri may or may not be in the works, so yeah. And in all honesty I don’t know what the timing of this one is within the MCU.

Summary: Princess Shuri requests your company on a trip to “The Garden”, a secret area the two of you created as teens.

Pairing: Shuri x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of drug use (weed), kissing.

Word count: 3,635

Suggested listening: Nothing Even Matters by Lauren Hill ft. D'Angelo

The soft buzzing of your kimoyo beads stirred you out of the deep sleep you were in. When the buzzing didn’t wake you immediately, the sensation was turned up and the vibration shook your wrist. You knew there was only one person who could engineer your kimoyo beads to function like that: Shuri.

Knowing that she wouldn’t stop her assault on your wrist, you sat up in bed and answered her call.

“Oh Y/N, good you’re finally awake!” Shuri stated with a slick smile as her holographic body shot up from the beads.

“When did you even have time to do that, Shuri? I’m with you always and you make sure I never take this off.” You mused as you rubbed some sleep out of your eyes.

“That’s not for you to worry about!” She flashed that smile at you again and you felt the familiar tug at your heart.

You loved her smile. It was one of your favorite things about her, and she knew it. Whenever she needed something from you like a model to test out new adaptations for the Dora Milaje’s gear or begging you to spend the night with her even though your room was less than 10 steps from hers. She would flash that smile and instantly get whatever she wanted from you.

She caught wind of the way you were looking at her and sent a wink your way. “Since you're awake, may I come in?”

“I don’t know why you insist on asking, especially when you know I never say no.” You said through a yawn. You got up out of bed and walked over to the door peeking through the wall that led to Shuri’s room.

The two of you had lived like this since you were young teens. Your mother served as Queen Ramonda’s personal guard, hand-picked by King T’Chaka until her accidental death during a routine training drill that you unfortunately witnessed. Your father, grief-struck, took his own life and it left you without anyone else in the world.

Queen Ramonda decided that for your mental health it was best to maintain as much of the reality that you knew and so at 16, you moved in with the royal family. Getting a bedroom built right next to Shuri’s that connected via a doorway. It worked out because you and Princess Shuri were already close friends; having spent childhood running around the palace walls and pestering the cooks for sweets. And spent most of adolescence obsessing over American culture and new trends together.

You and T’Challa quickly formed a sibling dynamic similar to the one he had with Shuri and he felt just as protective of you as he did of her. Your dynamic with Shuri, that was different. As young girls you both valued and enjoyed each other's company, it was often regarded that if you saw one of you, the other had to be close behind.

It wasn’t until you moved in, that the nightmares started. Reliving the memory of your mother's death every night in your dreams left you screaming in your sleep, loud enough for even Queen Mother to hear it from her chambers. But before she could get there, she always found Shuri comforting you. She could still remember the first time she found the two of you like that.

Shuri was sitting on the edge of your bed calmly speaking to you as she stroked your cheek gently. “It’s me Y/N, it's Shuri. You’re okay, you’re safe, I’m here.” The two of you couldn’t have been but 17 and 16.

When you awoke and tears sprung from your eyes, Shuri just pulled you into her and soothed you as she gently rubbed your back. When Queen Mother returned to her chambers she awoke her husband and told him that there was no need to worry about who Shuri would end up with and that Bast had been kind and blessed them with two daughters.

Now at 21 and 20, the Queen's words seemed to ring ever true. While neither of you claimed to be in a relationship, everyone in the palace (and in all of Wakanda for that matter) knew that it was more than platonic love shared between you two. Shuri had never courted anyone and neither had you, and nobody ever questioned it. You knew many people lusted after Princess Shuri but you never questioned where her loyalties lay. You were the one who was with her when she learned of her father's death and you supported her throughout the entire mourning process as you both grieved. You were each other's person no doubt about it.

Shuri hung up the call and walked into your bedroom, flopping right onto your bed. You chuckled as she snuggled deep within your covers, it was normal for her to do that, and expected that you would join her.

You scrolled through the notifications on your kimoyo beads much to Shuri’s dismay as you heard her kiss her teeth. One of her signals that she wasn’t getting the attention from you that she wanted.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” You murmured as you walked towards your bed and sat down on the edge. Your tiny brown sleep shorts and matching cami shirt gave Shuri the perfect view of your back. She admired the two dimples in your back that sat just above your ass and the way that your curves fit your body just right. Her eyes trailed up your back, and your curly hair was pulled up into a pineapple for maximum convenience while you slept, giving Shuri a view of your neck. She couldn’t stand you being so close to her and not touching so she wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you back into her.

You took the hint, got under the covers, and finally laid on your back staring straight up at the ceiling. Shuri’s hand snaked down to find yours and interlaced your fingers in hers. Bringing them to her mouth so she could kiss your hand.

“So, what did you have planned for today, my princess?” You asked with a light giggle as she peppered kisses all over your hand.

“I was thinking,” She said once she had finished “That we go over to the garden and spend the day there today.” She turned to face you anticipating your response.

You turned your head to face her and shot her a “Are you crazy?” look.

The garden was a secret project you, but mostly Shuri had started when you were in your final years of school. After watching the Young and Wild and Free music video, the two of you decided it couldn’t be that hard to grow your own weed here in Wakanda. You tested it all inside of a small house that had once belonged to the gardener but had been long abandoned. It only took a few months and the two of you had grown enough to harvest and test.

And test you did!

Being both of your first times the effects were immediate and apparent, but both of you enjoyed the mood it put you in. Shuri enjoyed how it allowed you to open up to her and her the same to you, many of your most vulnerable conversations were held in the garden. For a year the two of you spent damn near every weekend sneaking off into the garden to light up and talk before going on a movie marathon.

Years later and the tradition had faded. You knew Shuri still maintained the garden and used it occasionally but you only went out there when Shuri dragged you out. The last time was over a month ago and it ended with the two of you being questioned for a long time by T’Challa, insisting that of course, you two were not high. The conversation ended with T’Challa saying that the two of you were terrible liars, which only led to a giggle fit ensuing.

“Do you not remember the last time?” You demanded with a roll of your eyes “What if we get caught by Queen Mother this time?”

Shuri laughed “We are grown! Mother can only say so much, we are our own people sthandwa!”

You let out a groan in response, she knew how much you loved when she called you that.

“Come on, you know you want to come to hang out and relax with me. Do it for your princess.” She commanded with her same trademark smile.

“Fine! But Shuri, I’m not helping you roll anything! You have to do all the work since you want it so badly.” You retorted as you stood up from the bed. You walked over to your closet and looked for something to wear.

“I don’t even know why you would say that, you never roll anyway.” Shuri spoke quietly to herself with a small laugh.

“What did you say?” You called from inside the closet.

“Nothing sthandwa! Get dressed!” She called back with a smirk.

You decided on one of Shuri’s oversized hoodies (that fit you more like a normal hoodie) with a black skin-tight shirt, a pair of black leggings, and a small cross-body bag that held your film camera to wear. So the two of you started your walk down the back palace steps towards the garden. As you walked you admired Shuri’s outfit. She had recently become a fan of American tracksuits so today she wore gray sweatpants with a matching gray zip-up jacket. Under the jacket, she wore a form-fitting t-shirt that accentuated her slender slightly muscular figure. Her short curly hair was styled up as normal and you admired how this new haircut suited her face so well.

She looked edible.

As you two approached the small garden house, Shuri broke the comfortable silence that had developed.

“I’ve made some new improvements to our little getaway, I hope you like them sthandwa.” Shuri held open the door for you and you walked in.

Where once the walls were lined with movie posters and American logos from companies like Pringles, KFC, and Budweiser; they’re now covered with album sleeves from the two of your favorite records. Covers from Stevie Wonder, Lauryn Hill, and Gregory Porter all the way to recent favorites like Noname, Mavi, and Frank Ocean. You walked deeper into the room and noticed where bean bags and a couch that had seen better days once sat, a new couch (big enough to be mistaken for a bed) and a hammock installed into the ceiling now resided.

You had regarded on your last trip that the place had started to remind you of your joined teen years and Shuri being the girl she was decided that meant it was time for a rebrand.

“Shuriiii!!!!” You gushed “This is too much! When did you have the time to do all of this!?” You ran into her open arms and squeezed her tightly. Shuri smiled and wrapped her arms around you.

You pulled your head off her chest to look up at her as she spoke. “I wanted it to be a space for us again and we don’t have to just smoke here either. I moved all of the plants downstairs and created a new filtration system so it will never smell like smoke and-”

You cut her off by placing a kiss on her lips. She moved her hands to cup your face trying to deepen the kiss. She loved the taste of your lips, the way they parted to let hers in, the way your tongue always battled with hers for dominance knowing it was never a battle you were going to win.

You pulled away from the kiss, a deep red color staining your chocolate skin, she made you blush every time she kissed you and it made her proud to see how breathless she left you.

“Thank you Shuri, I really mean it.”

“You kiss me like that again, we’re not going to leave here for days.” Shuri mused as she quickly swiped her thumb across your plump bottom lip. Your deep brown eyes caught hers and her gaze held you there like that as she looked down upon you with enamored eyes.

You pulled your bottom lip into your mouth and bit it lightly. You hated the way Shuri could get you like this so easily. With just a few words or a persistent look, you turned to putty in her hands. Shuri however adored you like this, the way you were so drunk on lust that you listened to every word she said and followed her directions with little pushback.

You tried to turn away and break eye contact but Shuri caught your chin before you could move. She placed a delicate kiss on your lips before speaking.

“Go sit on the couch, make yourself at home. I’m going to get everything ready, you can connect to the speakers via bluetooth; the name is Y/N.” She let go of your face and left you standing there speechless as she started rummaging through drawers looking for the materials she needed.

“Damn you Shuri.” You thought as you walked over to the square-shaped couch, pulled off your bag, took out your camera, and plopped down making yourself comfortable. You pulled up the bluetooth settings and clicked connect on the one named after you. You kicked your slippers off and tucked your feet underneath you as you figured out what album to pick. You settled instead on the “To Y/N, with love” playlist, the playlist she had made for you years ago that still received monthly updates.

Shuri chuckled as the sounds of Nothing Even Matters by Lauryn Hill rang out through the speakers. She knew how much you loved music when she made you the playlist but hadn’t anticipated how much you would listen to the playlist. When you first noticed she had updated it, you nearly fell out; loving all the new music she added.

“You’re still listening to this old thing?” Shuri asked as she plopped down next to you, she held in her hands a rolling tray, a lighter, and two mason jars filled with herbs and weed respectively, a joint tucked between her lips.

You just hummed along to the words and smiled as you sang to her.

“Now the skies could fall. Not even if my boss should call. The world it seems so very small-”

She finished the line for you.

“Cause nothing even matters, at all. See nothing even matters.”

She took the joint from between her lips and handed it to you. You took it and after examining it for a second you placed it between your lips. Shuri leaned over into your personal space and sparked the lighter bringing it up to the joint and lighting it. You gazed at Shuri through the fire and felt a similar feeling inside of your gut as the two of you made eye contact. You pulled in deeply, allowing the smoke that was invading your mouth to travel directly to your lungs. Shuri pulled the lighter away when she was sure the joint would stay lit but didn’t break eye contact. You couldn’t handle the way she was looking at you, desire plain across her face so you pulled away as you removed the joint from your mouth, turned your head away, and exhaled. Releasing all the smoke in your lungs.

This caused Shuri to smirk, you were always so innocent, she could read you like a book. The way your thighs squeezed together when she held her hand on them for too long or the way you could never hold eye contact. She knew what she did to you and was fully planning to keep it up.

Shuri pulled a paper out of the pack she had and started opening the mason jars that contained her herbs. A comfortable silence had developed between the two of you, as you hit the joint and you both hummed along to Montego Bae by Noname. Shuri was the first to break the silence.

“One of your children asked me when me and you were going to be “princesses together?” when I stopped down to visit yesterday.”

You looked over at Shuri and let out a large laugh “What?”

You knew generally what Shuri was referring to; the orphanage that you volunteered in part-time was located just outside of the palace walls. Queen Mother thought it best for you to have something to occupy your time since Shuri spent large chunks of time in her lab and time away from each other was the key to a healthy relationship. The idea to work in the orphanage came to you after you spent the afternoon with the children, taking photos for the local newspaper. You came that first day and had never left; it made you feel good to help the children, knowing Queen Mother was the only reason you didn’t end up there.

“Mhm.” Shuri nodded, you noticed her hands that were beginning the careful process of rolling. This part always made you admire Shuri, her attention to detail and meticulous technique was a work of art. She looked so beautiful concentrating like that, you reached into your bag, grabbed your camera, and snapped a photo of her.

“It was Adah wasn't it?” You asked with a chuckle as you tucked your camera next to you.

While Shuri didn’t visit the orphanage with you frequently, whenever she did the first person to greet her was Adah. When Shuri wasn’t there Adah normally clung to your side during your daily work and generally kept quiet; preferring to see how the other kids played than actually playing herself. But when Shuri turned up, another side of Adah came out and she shed her shy exterior. Running around, dragging Shuri to and from activities and crafts, determined to show the princess a good time.

The whole of Wakanda was aware of your special relationship with Shuri, the children included. The difference between the two was that children didn’t have the social politeness to know not to ask about when the two of you were going to make it official, official.

Shuri just nodded as she brought her tongue to the paper, swiping it across to dampen the paper. She knew your eyes were following her tongue but let you slide this time without a sly remark. She finished rolling the joint and placed it on the coffee table.

You took another hit, feeling the effects of this new strain throughout your whole body before passing it to Shuri

“I keep telling them they can’t just ask when someone’s getting married.” You said with a playful kiss of your teeth.

Shuri took a deep pull of the joint and looked over at you. “I told her that we would be married within the next three years.”

“You said WHAT?” You shot up straight off of the couch and stood in front of Shuri. “You told my Adah we were to be married within the next three WHAT?”

Shuri simply laughed and took another hit of the joint. “I don’t see a problem with what I said sthandwa. We will be married within the next three years, no?”

“Have the chemicals that you deal with in the lab finally knocked something lose up there??” You playfully tapped on the side of her forehead with your fingers.

“Aht-” Shuri swatted your hand away with her free hand, and she took another hit. “I don’t get what's so wrong with what I said, we will be married within the next three years and have kids within the next five years. What's so insane about what I said?”

“Oh, you’ve lost your GODDAMN MIND Shuri Udaku!” You threw your hands up in disbelief and turned to walk away from Shuri.

“She must have lost it!” You thought to yourself. “Before she asks me to be her girlfriend she declares me her wife?” Truthfully you didn’t have a problem with marrying Shuri, that wasn’t the problem. But to have her declare so matter of factly without consulting you, that gave you a little bit of irritation.

Shuri used the opportunity of your back turning slightly to her as you walked away to grab one of your arms, pulling you closer and forcing you off balance. She used her newfound leverage to pull you into her lap, putting you face to face with her. Her free hand found its way to the top of your thigh and she rubbed lightly sending butterflies throughout your body. You were used to being in this position, it was one of Shuri’s favorites. She said it gave her a perfect view of your beautiful face while still satisfying her need for physical touch.

“Do you not want to be my wife sthandwa?” Shuri asked in a sultry voice, bringing the end of the joint to your lips allowing you to take the last hit.

You turned your head away from her to not release the smoke into her face, but even once you finished you kept your eyes from hers. It was all too much right now, the weed, the way Shuri switched her tone of voice and her hand that was gently rubbing the top of your thigh. Too much to be able to focus on this conversation right now.

Shuri placed the finished joint on the coffee table and grabbed your chin with her first three fingers, allowing her thumb to rest on your cheek and stroke it gently.

“Look at me.”

You obliged her request and made eye contact with the princess, her brown eyes were low and addicting to stare at.

“Be my wife Y/N.”

#black panther #black panther imagine #black panther fanfiction #black panther fandom #black panther fic #shuri udaku #shuri imagine #shuri black panther #shuri x y/n #shuri fluff #shuri x reader #marvel #jc writes

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things-arent-what-they-seem66 · 5 months

Note

I am meant to be studying but I am currently unable to lmao, so you get more prompts!!

37. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person for you.” 49. “Give me a week. A week, and I’ll be back to normal. A week, and I’ll… I’ll be over you. Just a week and you’ll have the old me back. It’s that easy, I promise.”

Thoughts/ideas: Adam feels himself falling for Lucifer, and gets progressively more obsessed with him. He hates himself for it, and when Lucifer confronts him about him acting weird, he promises he'll stop, that he just needs to get over it so they can go back to being frenemies! Luci of course tries to stop that from happening, because he loves how much Adam loves him (and loves him back).

I know I always give the angst to Adam, but I can't help it! He's my favourite and I must torture him!

Indigo :P

Oou interesting!

Adam didn't know when he started practically stalking Lucifer around the fucking hotel, but he had.

He was listening for his footsteps, when they sat together he would be sure to sit right beside him. He hung off his every word and soaked it up like a sponge.

This behaviour was even freaking Adam out, he knew he liked Lucifer but he didn't think he'd become so obsessed with the king.

It also apparently didn't go unnoticed.

Today Lucifer needed to get to the bottom of what was going on with Adam. Don't get him wrong, he enjoyed the attention. But this was so out of character he had to ask. "Tell me what's going on with you."

"What do you mean?" Adam tried to play dumb. He didn't want his new found feelings to ruin the weird 'friendship' they had. Frenemies was more accurate.

"You've been acting weird lately, what is it?"

"Nothing! Mind your own business." Adam tried to leave but Lucifer wouldn't let him, blocking the way. Adam sighed, well fuck. "Just, fuck I don't know how to say it." His face felt warm. He hadn't felt this way about someone since Eve.

"It's okay, take your time." They had time.

Adam fidgeted where he stood. "Give me a week. A week and I'll be back to normal, okay? A week and I'll..... I'll be over you." That last part came out just above a whisper. "One week and you'll have the old me back. It's that easy I promise."

Lucifer only looked at him. Over him? Did that mean.... Did he have feelings too? Lucifer has been in love with Adam since Eden, it was a hard choice between him and Lilith one he regrets to this day. Charlie was the only good that came from that relationship. "Adam do you have feelings for me?" Might as well be blunt.

Adam flinched shrinking in on himself. Was he that obvious? He didn't answer, couldn't. It would hurt too much. "Not like it matters."

"Of course it does."

"It didn't matter then."

Oh. Lucifer swallowed he had to be careful. "I'm sorry I couldn't be that person for you back then. In the garden when you needed me most. It was a dick move." Lucifer took Adams hands. Adam looked at him with apprehension. "I can be that person now. The person you deserve. Have always deserved."

"If this is a trick I'll fucking kill you."

"No tricks here! I mean it Adam, I want to give us a chance. Like I should have from the beginning." He rubbed his thumb over the top of Adams hand.

"Maybe. It'll take a bit."

"Rome wasn't built in a day."

Adam smiled. Yeah, maybe it would be okay.

#adamsapple #lucifer x adam #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #ask

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peacereturnedtothevalley · 2 months

Text

palisade 56 //

Great intro with leap I love to be laughing 2 minutes in

I did not remember leap’s epilogue at all LMAO just that he stayed on palisade

Hiiiiiiiii Jorie

Barnacle….

Rye and Gallica…. Rip to her… love a sexy evil duo

I need to relisten to this but again hiiii jorie “the scalpel” is so sexy

Cori’s that’s so raven vision

Wait a minute… looking at description names… Svir…. Five…….

Xylem

Resolute welkin..

they smiled at each other

Vibrant copse

HELLO?

I was getting vibes but I wasn’t sure but I’m sure now oh my god. Austin. Austin thank you

Branched x Delegate/Wakeful Yuri what a beautiful world

I’m like obsessed with every npc Austin has presented before us today

—

JACK.. Let’s go

They’re so gleefully inventing a worse peer to peer gig worker society

Cannot believe this is what they meant when arbitrage was like okay we can do not a contract :)

They haven’t said this but how I would make this shit work is everyone gets a rating and doing a shit job ostracizes you from society

God this gig economy feverdream is so nauseating. And it makes sense to me as a continuation of connadine’s on cycle shit.

Not to bring personal things into it but. I saw a movie at a film festival recently, about an Uyghur girl in 2017 who was going through family pressures to get married on top of increasing surveillance and detention of Uyghurs at that time. There was a director Q&A and when she was asked about how the situation is currently, she said the surveillance and restriction is less severe now, not because of the goodness of their hearts but like, that status quo got to them and the uyghur population are policing Themselves now. For events like weddings and stuff they proactively call a cop to join them so that rather than be questioned later, they know what’s going on already. People can’t and won’t say how they really feel freely and this is the way they have found survival . I still can’t call family and talk about things in any specifics. More and more people can visit again/leave the country after years of not being able to but their families will be too terrified to actually meet with them in case it brings trouble, and who knows when they might flip the switch on the limited freer travel

Okay that ended up being a longer tangent than I planned but all that to say, rather than arbitrage enforcing things with a contract, why not make it ubiquitous with how you have to live in society. It feels parallel to the stuff I outline above :)

You know how in stardew valley you go into the road tunnel and there’s a place where you can insert batteries for mr qi stuff that’s arbitrage to me

—

Connadine takes his shirt off to call arbitrage

Connadine and Arbitrage’s loving partnership is so funny to me

Cas’alear time

Routine hooked up with them huh

Svir time… Five……

10 years of solitude :(

I care him… the isolation is so real and agh

HES LOOKING FOR THE NOBEL..

doing snaps in the air for Austin

okay I think the partizan finale is such a blur to me and I did not remember what specifically happened to autonomy itself

Svir :((((((

OMG DID HE FIND THEM…. Or did they find him…

Brnine time 😎

Agh in the wreckage of a lost war…

I just got to a harrowing point in the new ffxiv expansion and its coloring this war zone vibe

Brnineeeee you’re so depressed. My meow meow

The leaving a letter thing is so funny brnine is emotionally doing a Turkish ice cream situation on Levi

Gangs back together :) we’re soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Back

Whole episode thoughts: that was excellent. I needed this. I loved every npc in Austin’s stories and I need to listen to them all again… got a little lost in the first one oops

No word from jesset or gucci so far but I hope we get some of it at Some point but who knows

Cas…. Cas’alear has always been technically compromised but has never truly betrayed millenium break or something. You know that I don’t believe in monarchy but I love it when the chosen king gets the throne tweet, something about apostolos brings up that emotion and cas does so in particular

Levi really speedran the revolutionary leader thing I hope we get some inferiority or interpersonal stuff for him tbh… cori hugging him was cute :’) my poor girl…

In my heart I believe in Cori’s ability to find and save Elle but with the say the contracts work I’m so worried for her

I wonder if we can get more eclectic later… the second story kind of contextualized the amount of independence he may have. Also glad Austin got to portray a softer story of how wakeful kind of works

excited and nervous for the sortie now good luck everyone don’t die

#Will update this as I go #palisade spoilers #fatt

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screampied · 2 days

Note

ola 😌 (pretending i didn’t just disappear…)

i’ve been very tired of tumblr lately, idk why. but i missed our little chats, i was just getting the energy to answer back.

toji is the king of being dirty, and in a sexual way of course. dirty talking, messy eating out, biiiiiig ass cock that you can’t do quickies with because miss girl needs to get prepared all the times. he is like the peak of being king of the slut men! right by his side we have…oh look, every other jjk male, except nanami (he is hidden in the back of the line, messy eater as well).

what’s your favorite tea, for our little tea encounters? i’ll always go for peach ice tea, mhmmmmm, mouth is salivating already.

i usually prefe short nails, because my hands are very small and a bit chubby so long makes it weird, but lately they are big as fuck and i’m loving the routine of taking care of them. people keep complementing it, always thinking is gel tips or i did on a saloon, and i’m like 😙😙😙😙

anklets are everything, i used to be obsessed with them and toe rings until i realized a perv might see me at the street and have the best day of his life with his feet kink. my favorite nowadays are earrings and necklace, i eat my lil combos every time.

question for today is do you usually have weird nightmares/dreams? today i had a dream i had a pet snake that was extremely big and i cried and begged my parents to remove her from the house, but they were like “it’s fine” and then her baby (that was a bald kitten) died so she got fucking mad at me, and she would just get even bigger whenever i was near. woke up drenched in sweat 😥

so, yeah, missed ya. can’t wait for october 01!

nut anon.

NUTTTYYYYYY

hi bae no worries i get it i feel the same way sometimes 💔💔. but i missed u n i’m glad ur back xx

ur so right 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. he’s got such a nasty fuckin mouth. UGHHHH writing his dirty talk is my favorite. and i also loveee to hc toji and suguru are the best top pussy eaters in jjk #CANON yeppp, he’s got the fattest cock. he’s def the type to be like “condoms never fit me anyway” he’s so annoying. NANAMI IS DEFINITELY A MESSY EATER IHMMYMYGOD i feel like he’s a sweet respective eater but also kinda filthy …. especially when he gets pussy drunk once his jaw locks …

i don’t rly drink tea ahah unless i’m sick 🙇‍♂️. but hmm i guess black / oolong tea? peace ice tea ooooh what does it taste like ? sounds peachy heh

i find anklets so sexy, fuck 🧎‍♂️. LMFAOOO UR RIGHT AB THE TOE RINGS. i’ve never wore toe rings before, but i love love anklets, i have a whole collection. the gold ones are my favorite bc it makes me feel like a princess 🧘‍♀️. saaaame, but im getting more into bracelets nowadays. i love the little sounds it makes whenever im like walking or jogging while im out. idk its soothing to me

i can never rly remember my dreams 🦭. but they’re usually always super weird shit that makes me wake up like ????? i miss shifting tho, i need to shift again soon aughhh. i remember having a dream about dying but then i woke up and i was like “oh great, another day” LMAO. your pet snake in your dream had a bald kitten ? that’s . . . interesting 🥷🥷.

BUT I MISSEDYOU TOOOOOO. and i have one question for you too—on october first, are you gonna like no be on anon anymore ? or are we gonna send asks on main. or we can be moots !!! i’m fine with either or 🤗

#✰ミ݁ ׅ ࣪ 𝒔𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆.#nut anon

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ship-ambrosia · 2 months

Note

i need to hear all your thoughts on Theon and Theonsa. Please i need the deepest of dives. I’m also obsessed

Hello dear, thanks for the message!! I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, this week was pretty rough at work. I am of course ALWAYS happy to talk about Theonsa.

Delusional, incoherent rambling vibes incoming. You have been warned.

I feel like I have talk ad nauseam about this relationship and all the things I love about it, and if I haven’t mentioned it, I’ve written about it lmao

First of all, I was introduced to this ship by my lesbian best friend. Straight up literally one of the only het ships I can think of that she likes. Theonsa is for the girls and the gays, confirmed. I myself was so shook bcuz they were my favorite characters from the very little of the show that I had watched at that point, so to hear there was ship potential?? I was hooked instantly

Idk about yall but I have the clip of Theon returning to Winterfell and him and Sansa hugging while he’s basically ignoring dany there the whole time saved on my phone and I watch it SO much. Would offer my firstborn child to know what exactly Alfie Allen (and Sophie, but mostly Alfie) was thinking while that was being filmed because that’s the scene that convinced me they were IN LOVE especially that Theon loved her. It’s just the way his eyes flicker to Sansa even when he’s supposed to be addressing his “Queen”.

Honestly I’m a lot more forgiving toward season 8 than most of my friends but the one thing that pisses me off is that everyone leaves sansa alone at the end!! Wtf!!! Anyway if Theon had survived you can’t tell me he wouldn’t have stayed with her. He would have 100% dedicated the rest of his life to being at her side, whether anything came of their love or not. And god one day I need to write a scene of theon and Sansa reuniting immediately after the night king is killed!! Theon exiting the Godswood with Arya and bran and Sansa running over to all three of them!! Ugh my heart. Also, I feel like Dany would be so grief stricken over Jorah and to see Sansa happily reunited with Theon would make her absolutely furious which sounds very interesting to me

Umm what else. I think Theon should’ve gotten to kill his uncle. Why’d that kill go to Jaime? I had this fic idea a while ago where Baelish doesn’t bring the knights of the vale so Jon loses the battle of the bastards and Sansa ends up back with Ramsay but Theon’s already convinced Yara to go north to help (I know Yara would never do it but LET ME HAVE THIS) and then Euron hears his niece and nephew are going north so he decides to go north too. So basically three of the worst men converge at Winterfell to face off basically fighting over Sansa but surprise Theon and Yara break Jon out of prison to rescue her. And yeah Euron’s just like oh I want the Stark girl now because I know my nephew wants her. Then Theon can get to kill Euron or Ramsay or Baelish. Lmao. Most of my fics start as incoherent vibes like that

Uhhh if there’s any else you wanna know about specifically feel free to ask again! That’s about all I can think of right now thanks 🥰

#asks for bree #bree ships things #theonsa #bree rambles #late night shenanigans #theon x sansa #bree’s best boys #theon greyjoy #sansa stark #long post

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a-namjoon-a-day · 5 months

Text

9 People I'd Like To Know Better:

Thank you, @letowolfie for tagging me. I love this sort of thing! And it's nice that I know you a little better now :)

• last song:

Cha Eunwoo, "Fu*king Great Time" - he came out with a choreo video a couple days ago, but it popped up in my yt recs this morning. I was not disappointed lol

• favorite color:

soft neutrals - colors that give off a calm, peaceful vibe

• currently watching:

- binging on Stephanie Soo's "Rotten Mango" yt channel

- "American Horror Story" on hulu

- "Gyeongseong Creature" on netflix

• currently reading:

finishing "Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982" by Cho NamJoo & next is "God's Monsters" by Esther Hamori

• spicy/sweet/savoury?

When I've just finished something savoury, I would say sweet. When having finished something sweet, I'd say savoury. Spicy is tricky - I'm always up for it, but I doubt what I consider spicy is actually spicy LOL. I'm Irish & Nordic so, for instance, my mom thinks some brands of ketchup are spicy lmao

• relationship status:

I'm in a very selfish era of my life and I don't think it'd be fair to date anyone. Like I want to do whatever I want, whenever I want, and answer to no one. Oh wait, do ikemen series characters count? If so, I'm dating 4 guys lmao

• current obsessions:

oof, there's so many. BTS! Namjoon. Crocheting. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill album. Park Seo Joon. Surfing. I'm learning how to play the harp, but gosh it's not easy. The Apocrypha. Girl groups. Jellycat plushies. Very niche tiktok drama lol. Myrrh candles from bougie brands. (@letowolfie I freaking love oatmeal)

Okay so that does it for me! I'm tagging some regulars I see on my tumblr - if you aren't tagged, 1. that doesn't mean I don't recognize you please don't leave me, & 2. it doesn't mean I don't want you to do it. Please do it and tag me, I want to know all of y'all TT

@micromoose @knjkitten @blytheblog @rapmonkive @kajuwu @adora-sword @moni-logues @cosmosbts @vive-lanuit

#bts #rm #namjoon #bts army #i love these #everyone tag me in stuff pls #ty letowolfie :)

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verslxt · 2 years

Text

sick days ~ r. suna

yo yo yo! it’s me again 🤪. anyways…i’ll probably do a poll for each fic i write, probably. unless i have an idea and i already have a character for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rintarou suna ~ inarizaki 3rd year, been dating y/n since 1st year, won prom king with her a few days ago. middle blocker in volleyball

y/n ojiro ~ arans little sister, dating suna since 1st year. ecstatic that she won prom queen because she doesn’t think she’s that pretty. currently sick in her bed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you laid back down after arans daily facetime. you got sick like sick sick. coughing, throwing up, and a fever of 103.5°

you saw a text pop up from suna

baby daddy 🥰

baby where are you?

you typed back

sick

~sunas pov~

baby momma 😍

sick

“how did she get sick so soon” atsumu looked over my shoulder at me and y/n’s texts

“man i don’t know” i said grabbing my bag. “make up and excuse for me! tell them i got sick with y/n”

i grabbed my keys and walked out. i got to my car and started it. while i waited for it to warm up i made a group

tsumu 😐, onigiri lover 😋, baby momma 😍, toshi

yo make up excuses for me. i’m going to y/n’s house

~y/n’s pov~

you felt your phone ding

dumbass 😶, baby daddy 🥰, onigiri lover 😐, toshi 🥱

baby daddy 🥰

make up excuses for me. i’m going to y/n’s house

i typed back

rin you really don’t have to

baby daddy 🥰

yes i do

a few minutes later you saw a slouched over 6’1 boy enter your room

“hi baby”

“tired”

“same”

you opened your arms and he took off his shirt and layer over top of you.

“if i run out of the room will you hold my hair while i throw up?”.

“baby.”

“yes”

“of course i would”

~time skip~

“y/n dear-“

your mom opened the door to see you and suna cuddled up together. she couldn’t help by think of her and your dad at that age

that’s when you woke up

“hi mommy”

“hi baby. you feeling any better”

“yea, but i may still need tomorrow of”

“okay, i got you a little something”

you sat up straight as your mom took out a book

“you’ve been wanting this book for a while now. and your grades are outstandingly good”

she placed the book ‘a girl in pieces’ in your lap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the next day you woke up to suna coughing. and coughing hard at that.

“baby are you okay?” you asked rubbing his back

“yea, i think i just caught whatever you did”

“you want anything?”

“a shower”

you got up and started the shower for him, he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“can you text the group chat”

“yea”

suna kissed your temple and took off the sweatshirt you gave him. it always amazed you seeing his abs.

you got out of your bathroom and grabbed your phone

personal chef 🫶🏽

do need to text sunas mom and tell her you and suna got sick

future motha in law ❤️

did you and rin get sick? do i need to call the school?

you typed back

my child 😶

me and rin are now sick, sunas mom already knows

future dautha in law ❤️

me and rinnie are sick, but we’re getting over it slowly but surely. he is in the shower currently, i’m going to make him some breakfast

the better suna 🤪

gurl did my brother get himself sick

the better ojiro 🤪

lmao yep

you went downstairs and went into your kitchen

“hey alexa play maneater”

“playing maneater and similar songs”

“take it back, take it back”

you smiled as you grabbed out a pan. that’s when you felt two hands snake around your waist

“yes rinnie”

“a maneater kinda mood i see i see”

you giggled at sunas comment

“hey you have a notification on your phone”

“oh tell me who it is”

“the better suna”

“omg rin that’s your sister”

you opened your phone suna hunched over his head in the crook of your neck

the better suna 🤪

this boy is OBSESSED with you gurl

“she’s not wrong. first thing she’s ever been right about”

you laughed as suna kissed you

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sorry, this is literally so bad!!! but i’ve been working on it all week. anyways you guys prob don't know what the contact names are, so i'm just gunna give you a run down of them

personal chef-momma ojiro

future motha in law ❤️-momma suna

the better suna 🤪-reiko suna

baby daddy-suna

baby momma, my child, the better ojiro, future daugha in law-y/n

#suna x reader #suna rintaro scenarios #suna rintarō #haikyuu #haikyuu x y/n #suna x you #suna x y/n #haikyuu oc #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fic

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markantonys · 2 years

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amol chapters 21-36, though once again contains major spoilers for character endgame fates that still haven’t happened yet as of chapter 36

so asha’man can compel aes sedai with the bond but aes sedai can’t compel asha’man? that’s rancid

“she also wanted to be done with the black tower” mood!

my man demandred shows up with the sharans, being very sexy as always. don’t lie, we all have our FILF (forsaken i’d like to fuck) demandred is mine 100%. i love an evil man with a weird nose and an antagonistic homoerotic obsession with the hero (see: francesco pazzi in i medici season 2). i hope he doesn’t get cut from the show and instead absorbs some of the less sexy forsaken’s plotlines so that he can have something to do prior to the final season lmao

he’s acting like a jilted ex by claiming that he has “crawled through the depths of sorrow and risen up to accept my glory,” asking people if they know anything about rand, saying that leane is beautiful but he doesn’t give a shit because he just wants her to deliver a message to rand. “tell him i will finally have satisfaction.” literally the gayest possible way you could’ve phrased that my dude

“i will slaughter and destroy. i will seize his people. i will enslave his children, i will take his women for my own. one by one, i will break, destroy, or dominate everything he has loved. the only way for him to avoid this is for him to come and face me.” somebody is not taking his recent breakup well! his recent 3000-years-ago breakup. on a more serious note, exhibit fucking A of how stupid it was for bashere to make elayne publicize that rand is the babies’ dad!

i’m laughing about all these gay dramatics because rand is literally about to go face the dark one, he does NOT have time for your shit demandred. he’s gonna hear this message and be like “oh my god why are you so obsessed with me” and then continue on to shayol ghul. the dark one is gonna be facepalming that demandred’s gay dramatics are trying to get in the way of his faceoff with rand.

previously we’ve discussed that demandred is mat’s foil, but he’s also gawyn’s foil: homoerotic obsession with rand that consumes their every waking thought meanwhile rand never thinks about them and has no idea they’re obsessed with him. but gawyn was able to get over his onesided breakup and find closure where demandred couldn’t. although rand DID have that angsty gay thought about how maybe demandred wouldn’t have turned to the shadow if rand/LTT had loved him instead of competed with him, so not quite as onesided as gawyn. we’ve also previously discussed mat and gawyn foiling each other (young extremely skilled military men thrust into leadership positions they didn’t want, wary of being used by aes sedai, complicated relationships with rand), so this is just a nice trio of foils here.

in conclusion, demandred and LTT are that post that’s like “characters that never dated but are definitely exes now”

when perrin vanishes graendal’s balefire in TAR: “the woman started. they always did that. didn’t they realize that nothing was real here except what you thought to be real?” i’m so sick of perrin reading 1 wikipedia article on TAR and then acting like he knows it better than women who’ve been studying it for years (he also kinda did this with the wise ones when they tried to warn him against going in the flesh and then once he did so he was like “this doesn’t feel evil, they’re wrong about that”)

“a warrior who will not strike a maiden is a warrior who refuses her honor.” king gaul!!! and we have quite a bit of both gaul and lanfear shaming perrin for Not Killing Women and perrin himself acknowledging that it was foolish of him not to kill graendal when he had the chance. this combined with lan’s scene in the last chapter chunk, i feel like sanderson is coming down hard on how stupid this rj attitude was lmao bless

lanfear says that graendal was invading bashere’s dreams oh no!!!! what did she do!!!! i’m remembering that min had some kinda Darkness viewing about bashere and biting my nails!!!

well, if bashere is under the influence of the shadow then at least that would explain why he made elayne endanger herself and the babies by making her tell everyone rand is the dad lmao idk if he WAS under the influence of the shadow back at that time, but i’m going to believe he was in order to rationalize that buckwild stupidity.

“[egwene] looked at [gawyn], a cold strength in her eyes, and nodded. light! how could she be so calm when he had to clench his teeth for fear they would start rattling together?” that’s our wife!!

gawyn is using the bloodknife rings oooh sexy

at the shayol ghul group, rand has placed aviendha in charge ❤️❤️ so we could’ve had rand facing off against the dark one, aviendha leading at shayol ghul, elayne leading the armies, and mat maybe helping her lead the armies if he was here instead of ebou dar. power polycule!!!

aviendha sees rand approaching the cavern: “he wore his coat of red and gold, but under it a simple two rivers shirt. what he had become and what he had been, wrapped together in one.” 😭 rand has two swords, callandor and laman’s sword. “he carried that because of her. fool man.” 😭😭 “aviendha raised her hand to him, and he raised his in return. that would be their only farewell if he failed in his task or she died during hers. with a last look, she turned away from him and toward her duty.” 😭😭😭😭😭

randlayne was given priority for a number of chapters, and then in this brief portion avirand got priority - avi is the last one to see rand here, and she’s also the last one who got an on-page Relationship Moment with him (a couple chapters ago when they were standing together after scoping out shayol ghul), not to mention the Romance of her being the one leading the group protecting him outside the cavern. meanwhile min has only exchanged about 3 words with rand in the entire book 😌 fueling my belief that min was just sex while rand was Going Through It and desperate for companionship and she was literally the only one available, but elayne and avi are his endgame. now that the end has come and he’s back with his other loved ones, min has all but vanished from his mind and from the book while elayne and avi are the ones he’s focused on and the ones who have onscreen Relationship Scenes with him. min didn’t even GET an onscreen goodbye with him at all lmao! cadsuane mentioned that rand had given min jewelry as a goodbye gift but we didn’t see the interaction! we love to see it! or not see it, in this case.

we have a battle scene here that i did enjoy because it was wonderful to see avi flexing her leadership AND channeling skills! a perfect culmination of her character arc!

moiraine on the shayol ghul cavern: “this is not the bore, this is not the dark one’s prison.” it’s not? oh. well then...................i don’t know what the bore is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask. (update: later on it’s mentioned how the bore is Outside The Pattern. i would very much enjoy seeing the show adapt this whole pit of doom confrontation because it’s hard for me to visualize so far in this chapter chunk.)

so moiraine and nynaeve will be the 2 women to use callandor with rand. awww i really think one should’ve been egwene since she and rand have been foils and two sides of the same coin and complements and yin and yang and co-protagonists for so long. bummer! i think her instead of nynaeve would’ve had more impact bc it would’ve shown how far rand has come out of his paranoia and self-isolation, if he was doing this with 2 aes sedai he strongly mistrusted for a long time rather than with nynaeve who was always the only one he never mistrusted or pushed away. and in fact it would’ve been such beautiful poetic cinema if callandor only required 1 man and 1 woman and it was just rand and egwene going into the cavern together. haha i was also thinking that egwene would’ve been better than perrin doing all the TAR stuff, so i guess my dream last battle would just be egwene doing EVERY task jkfjg it’s what she deserves!

nynaeve is wearing a beautiful dress because of course women be dressing to the nines to go BATTLE THE DARK ONE

i once saw someone say that the dark one’s all-caps dialogue makes them think of an old person on facebook accidentally writing things in all caps all the time and now that is always what i think of jkfgjh

rand is now entering the cave, so he officially has no time to deal with demandred’s gay dramatics and in fact has never even heard about them. god it would be so funny if demandred gets killed without ever coming face to face with rand in the entire series, that’s HUGE gawyn-onesided-homoerotic-rivalry-with-rand energy!

“an empress had to be crafty, strong, and skilled if she was to survive” and we have never actually seen tuon be any of those things, we’ve only been told that she is, so i guess that means she won’t be long for this world yeah baby!

“matrim would never be a rival...was not the prince of the ravens a check upon the empress, to keep her strong by providing a constant threat?” see, if the ship had been done well, i would be swooning over the romance of tuon being puzzled that for the first time she has a healthy relationship and a family member who won’t try to kill her, but it wasn’t, so instead i’m just like “yeah i WISH mat was a rival and a threat to her” (but i can soothe myself that maybe this is a sign that mat WILL someday be her and the empire’s downfall, and she’s just underestimating him here as usual)

wait shit tuon believes that rand knelt before the crystal throne, and now that i think about it he did do so literally and also kinda did do so metaphorically since he let her walk all over him in arranging their “alliance,” but the dragon kneeling before the crystal throne was a marker of the bad future in avi’s visions..............OH NO

tuon can you stop forcibly renaming mat FOR FIVE MINUTES

mat just says “knotai? i kind of like it” because by this point he has been officially slave-broken and happily accepts his new slave name

but again i can soothe myself that tuon naming him this as “a bringer of destruction” is a sign that someday it’ll backfire on her and he’ll bring destruction to the empire rather than to the empire’s enemies, as she believes here

mat tells tuon that they have to go help egwene’s army and has the audacity to be upset that she seems like she either might not help or might use the opportunity to enslave all the aes sedai. “i never thought the leopards would eat MY face,” sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces party.

“you gave your word.” “i signed a treaty. any treaty can be broken, particularly by the empress...the empress cannot be constrained by words on a paper.” LMAO wasn’t there a bit in a past book where she insisted that she was so honorable and always kept her promises? LMAOOO and she’s always pressed about the westlanders not keeping their oaths (that they never swore anywhere but in her deranged mind) and whatnot.

me after violating a legal document that i signed: i cannot be constrained by words on a paper 😌

she doesn’t Actually break the treaty yet because she decides it’s in her best interests to help the ~marath’damane army~ so she can use them to defeat the shadow (with the alternative being go back to seanchan right now, solidify her rule, and then come back to fight the shadow with her own forces. because obviously we totally have enough time for that, tuon, it’s not as if the last battle started DAYS ago or anything.) however, this just proves how fucking stupid and pointless the seanchan peace treaty is - tuon does not consider herself bound by it in any way and WILL violate it the SECOND it inconveniences her.

“the clouds had parted above them - they often did when [elayne] was near, one way the bond with rand manifested” ❤️❤️ romance!

just a week or two ago i saw someone shitting on elayne’s pre-battle speech in this book and saying it was lame, but i just read it and it rocks??? fuck off. elayne says “i am supposed to reassure you but i cannot...doing so would remove responsibility...this is not a day for empty promises” and people say it’s lame and not inspiring, but if she HAD hyped the soldiers up more with false positivity then people would’ve said she was being insensitive of the gravity of the situation and treating war as child’s play. there is literally no winning for elayne among Certain Readers.

“birgitte, i am in command, and you are my soldier. you will obey...i’m one of the few channelers of any strength this army has, and i’ll be drawn and quartered before i let myself sit out the fight. i’m easily worth a thousand soldiers on this battlefield.” GO OFF!!!!!!

birgitte tries to protest about the babies, because as we know those are the people she actually cares about and elayne is just a vessel for them in her eyes, and elayne claps back with “even if min hadn’t had that viewing, i’d still insist on fighting. you think the babes of these soldiers aren’t at risk? many of them line the walls of that city! if we fail here, they will be slaughtered. no, i will not keep myself out of danger, and no, i will not sit back and wait. if you think it’s your duty as my warder to stop me, then i will bloody sever this bond right here and now and send you to someone else! i’m not gong to spend the last battle lounging on a chaise and drinking goat’s milk!” YES!!! 👏👏👏👏👏 CHEERING AND PUMPING MY FIST

also, this is another example of there being no winning for elayne among Certain Readers: she does stuff like this and they complain that she’s reckless and gets people killed and Doesn’t Listen To Birgitte, but if she were to spend the last battle lounging on a chaise and drinking goat’s milk they’d complain about her doing nothing and letting everyone else die in her place.

mark my words, lounging on a chaise and drinking goat’s milk is exactly how tuon will spend the last battle. probably min too.

“an odd sensation came to mind. one of the women was in trouble. was it elayne? aviendha? he could not tell.” when rand senses one of his bondholders is in trouble, elayne and aviendha are the only two he cares about 😌 either that or he doesn’t even consider min could be in danger because she’s not doing anything in the battle lmao

moridin arrives. “you could step aside. if my victory is not assured, neither is your fall. let me pass. for once, make the choice you know you should.” “now? now you beg me to return to the light? i have been promised oblivion. finally, nothing, a destruction of my entire being. an end. you will not steal that from me, lews therin! by my grave, you will not!” and they start swordfighting. poor demandred, he wants what ishamael has with rand. demandred and gawyn shaking on the gates yelling “let me in!” whilst rand is too busy in his intense and complicated *and reciprocal* relationships with ishamael and mat.

also, like lanfear, ishamael hovers just on the edge of being a really interesting and complex villain and character, and i hope the show will bring out his motives and psychology more especially through use of AOL flashbacks. it already did a great job establishing “i just want existence to end” as a motive for joining the shadow via dana.

perrin sees the cavern battle from TAR: “two men, locked in battle. two women, as if frozen.” if moiraine and nynaeve spend the entire battle just frozen and not doing anything i’ll be so mad lmao i guess it’s actually good that egwene wasn’t wasted here

perrin and gaul are attacked by aiel male channelers who have been turned to the shadow. this is so interesting, why the hell is it just kind of a 5-page footnote in the final book of the series? why didn’t we get any aiel asha’man? that would’ve been so cool!

“i killed two of those myself, perrin aybara. one could channel. i think myself great with honor, then you slide in and take two captive. bain would laugh herself all the way back to the three-fold land if she saw this.” aw a tidbit of gaul-bain banter/friendship! it should be gaul and bain who are first-siblings rather than bain and chiad. like maybe bain and chiad are already lovers, gaul and chiad start falling for each other, and bain’s resistance is to taking gaul as her first-brother and sharing chiad with him, and then they get a nice little rivals to friends to first-siblings arc. it would’ve made so much more sense! i’m hoping the show will give us mixed gender first-siblings in general (and first-brothers, getting rid of the nonsense that men are worse at being close friends with each other than women are lmao)

“i don’t like fighting beside those seanchan” king gawyn strikes again! and egwene thinks that she “should be fighting the seanchan with every breath, not allying with them. her instincts rebelled as she approached the gathering of seanchan.” i swear to god gawyn and egwene are the only people who still remember that the seanchan suck (and elayne, i believe she was resistant to the idea of allying with them back in the big meeting?)

“egwene’s chances depended on the seanchan joining the battle and engaging the sharan channelers. her stomach twisted...the seanchan damane were not free women; they could not choose to fight. from what she’d seen of the sharan male channelers, they were little more than animals themselves.” queen egwene being the only one to acknowledge this!

“egwene revised her expectations. she’d imagined fortuona as a spoiled adolescent, the product of a coddled lifetime.” no yeah you were right on the money there egwene no revisions needed

egwene absolutely OWNS tuon throughout this conversation and it gives me so much life!!!!!! it is so goddamn satisfying to see someone FINALLY stand up to tuon, given the way she carries a spine-removal kit around (to use @butterflydm’s extremely apt analogy) for use on literally every single other character who has interacted with her thus far.

now i am going to take a pause simply to record some epic egwene quotes before going back to analysis mode

when tuon says she’d considered whether it would be appropriate for her to speak to egwene with her own voice: “i have considered myself whether it would be appropriate to speak to one such as yourself, who has committed such terrible atrocities.” OOH

when tuon decides oh so generously to see egwene as a queen rather than as a marath’damane for this conversation: “no. you will see me for what i am, woman. i demand it.” OOOH

when tuon agrees and says that she’s spoken to marath’damane before, as it’s allowed for an empress to speak with her pet hounds: “then i will speak with you directly as well. for the amyrlin judges many trials. she must be able to speak to murderers and rapists in order to pass sentence upon them. i think you would be at home in their company, though i suspect they would find you nauseating.” OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH a worthy successor to that epic elaida clapback

“i represent the ultimate proof that your society and empire are built upon falsehoods. here i stand, a woman you insist should be collared for the common good. and yet i display none of the wild or dangerous tendencies that you claim i should have. so long as i am free from your collars, i prove to every man and woman who draws breath that you are a liar.” OOOOOHHH and the other seanchan murmur at this!

there will be more epic quotes coming but now i want to analyze. suffice it to say that this was me throughout this scene:

tuon insists that egwene wouldn’t criticize the collar if she’d known its peace and whatever nauseating shit, and egwene reveals to everybody that she WAS collared and she HATED IT!! tuon is big mad because she didn’t know this so now egwene’s made her look like a fool (and undermined the damane system and her authority) in front of a lot of people.

tuon rounds on mat to demand why he never told her that egwene was collared. he replies, “i didn’t think too much about it. she wasn’t one for very long.” boy i bet egwene wishes SHE was able to not think too much about it! mat has deadass been mooning over the head slaver for all these books with that one time his best friend was enslaved by these people just completely slipping his mind. he also chimes in with an obedient little “may she live forever” when tuon ends a sentence with “the empress” which is sickening.

egwene’s FIRST assumptions when she sees mat among the seanchan are that he’s undercover and they don’t know who he really is or that he’s a captive, that he’s in danger, and that she needs to save him from them. i think this is supposed to be a humorous role reversal of mat thinking these things about egwene being amyrlin when he first arrives in salidar, but it’s absolutely heartbreaking. egwene sees her close friend all buddy-buddy with the people who enslaved her and who have enslaved or murdered countless of her sisters and allies, and she assumes that mat must be there for an ulterior motive or not of his own free will, but nope, he voluntarily threw himself in with them because he was into tuon’s ~mysterious eyes.~ and how can i laugh at egwene ~presumptively~ thinking mat needs a rescue, when he DOES need a rescue before he spends the rest of his life miserable and under tuon’s thumb?

egwene says that their marriage was a result of tuon getting caught up in mat’s ta’veren pull (which tuon denies). “‘being ta’veren never did get me much,’ mat said sourly.” so is he admitting that he doesn’t want this marriage or this life?

tuon is mad at mat for not telling her about egwene’s stint as a damane and says “we will speak of this on another occasion. it will not be pleasant.” and later in the scene when he displeases her, “we will have many words about this tonight” 🚩🚩🚩

“egwene regarded the woman, baffled. light! these people were completely insane.” YES. YES THEY ARE. what a breath of fresh air to see a pov character FINALLY acknowledge this. egwene you’re the only bitch in this house i ever respected.

“oh, light, rand. what did you promise them?” mood

egwene actually makes an effort to get concessions from tuon AND SUCCEEDS (tuon agrees to give up tremalking) unlike rand just going “oh well there’s nothing i can do” the second tuon counters him and mat just standing there silently not even trying. because egwene is the only bitch in this house i ever respected.

me @ every character but egwene, gawyn, and elayne: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair

egwene announces that all sul’dam can channel. tuon tells her not to spread such lies. “oh? shall we test it, fortuona? you said you trained them yourself. you are a sul’dam, i presume? put the a’dam on your neck. i dare you. if i am wrong, it will do nothing to you. if i am right, you will be subject to its power, and will prove to be marath’damane...let us do it and test the real strength of your commitment. if you prove to be able to channel, will you do as you claim others should? will you stroll up to the collar and snap it around your own neck, fortuona? will you obey your own laws?” i am screaming and hollering in approval, but then, for some GODFORSAKEN reason, this DOES NOT HAPPEN. at this point being collared and forced to channel is literally the only thing that could possibly force tuon into any sort of character development, so WHY in the name of the light would you set this up so perfectly and then wuss out of following through???????????? what’s the point????????? i’m so mad!!!!!!!!! just when i think tuon might finally be forced to face a consequence for the first time in her life!!!

“‘i plan to live centuries,’ egwene hissed. ‘i will watch your empire crumble, fortuona. i will watch it with joy.’” AND YET EGWENE FUCKING DIES IN THE LAST BATTLE AND TUON’S EVIL ASS GETS TO LIVE!!!! IT’S SO UNFAIR I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!! nobody is going to stand up to the seanchan once egwene, possessor of the sole backbone in the westlands, is gone!!!! i’m sure egwene’s death will be a moving Heroic Sacrifice moment, but my god it’s the worst thing that could’ve possibly happened for the upcoming fourth age. the world doesn’t need rand or perrin or mat or nynaeve anymore after the last battle, but it needs egwene DESPERATELY. if an ef5 had to die, why couldn’t it have been literally any of them except egwene? except i don’t want rand to die because he deserves a second chance at life, and i don’t want nynaeve to die because she deserves her happy ending with lan after they’ve had a Doomed Relationship for so much of the series, and i don’t want mat to die because he needs to overthrow the seanchan empire and then go back to the westlands to marry rand and elayne. so, i will amend my statement: if an ef5 had to die, why couldn’t it have been perrin? lmao (tho i do stand by the fact that rand or nynaeve not making it would’ve been better For The World than egwene even if i would’ve been sad personally, and possibly mat as well unless i really AM meant to believe that he’ll destroy seanchan, in which case he needs to survive to the fourth age too)

mat intervenes and pushes them apart. “let’s be civil, ladies. don’t make me throw the pair of you over my knee.” i am going to strangle him and make it stick this time. my earlier-in-this-book sympathy for mat is over now, fuck post-WH mat all my homies hate post-WH mat. like can you IMAGINE a woman with no political authority saying this to two extremely powerful male rulers/leaders while they’re arguing about serious political and human rights topics? ..........okay cadsuane would absolutely do this, but aside from her.

“the people of the world need you two, and they need you levelheaded, you hear me?” they literally do not need tuon mat they would literally be so much better off without her. “this is bigger than any of us. when you fight each other, the dark one wins, and that is that. so stop behaving like children.” and so we have the culmination of the gross ass “one side wanting to enslave the other vs. the other not wanting to be enslaved being treated as equally petty, selfish, and in the wrong” theme that’s been present ever since COT. i’m fuming!!!! chewing rocks!!!!!!!!

“when you fight each other the dark one wins” would’ve been an effective line to use when the world leaders were squabbling in the big meeting scene or when rand and egwene were arguing, NOT when tuon is threatening to enslave egwene and egwene is saying she wants to see her slaver empire destroyed!

although at least mat does chide tuon a little bit extra and tell her that she needs egwene, and doesn’t say anything more to egwene or try to tell her that she needs tuon, so that’s a small mercy

the meeting ends and egwene returns to “where gawyn waited for her” sanderson couldn’t have gawyn present for/within earshot of the meeting because gawyn would’ve beat mat’s ass for treating egwene like that, and rightfully so. also because he would’ve just straight up killed tuon using his bloodknife ring abilities the second she threatened egwene. egwene wouldn’t kill tuon because she’s too practical and levelheaded, but gawyn would’ve snapped and taken her head off, my impulsive boy.

elayne’s exhausted herself channeling in battle, and birgitte actually admits that elayne was right to want to fight and that she did well and that seeing her fight right on the front lines inspired the soldiers, thank god.

elayne realizes that bashere’s been spreading misinformation, which led to them being taken by surprise by a second trolloc army, and concludes that he’s a darkfriend and fires him from being her general and puts him under guard. lan’s been noticing agelmar making mistakes too, so i’m guessing graendal’s messing with all the generals’ dreams.

i’m sad because i always was fond of bashere, but i’m also thrilled because now elayne is in charge and flexes her military general muscles and puts together a good battle plan on the spot! that’s my girl! fuck perrin and everyone else who claimed she’s only a good leader because she sits quietly and lets the male generals do all the work.

“the one power flooded into her, though she could hold only a trickle. she could act as if she weren’t exhausted, but her body knew the truth. she would lead them anyway.” ❤️❤️

min gets sent as a messenger from bryne to tuon. the aes sedai doing gateways have to make them as small as possible since they need to conserve their strength, and min is annoyed that they make her one so small she has to crawl through it. why don’t you do something useful rather than complaining that other people don’t have enough energy left to do things, min?

she mentions that one of the aes sedai notes her “breeches and curls” do NOT tell me min has been curling her hair even during the last fucking battle????? 💀💀 i hope that sanderson just forgot or didn’t realize that her hair wasn’t naturally curly (and it isn’t - there were multiple times in rj’s books where she mentioned that she started curling it For Rand) because otherwise, oh my god.

she’s been doing odd jobs in the camp for a week. interesting that a week has passed since the day before rand went to the pit of doom. “it wasn’t work that had required her, specifically, but it was better than sitting in tear and worrying about rand...or being angry at him for forbidding her to go to shayol ghul.” meanwhile, avi was briefly disappointed that rand wouldn’t take her but accepted immediately that it was the right course of action. “you’d have been a liability there, min told herself. you know it. he couldn’t worry about saving the world and protecting her from the forsaken at the same time.” at least she admits it. “sometimes, it was hard not to feel insignificant in a world of channelers like rand, elayne, and aviendha.” that’s because you ARE insignificant 😌 like, there are so many ways to pull off “non-magical non-warrior character has strength in other areas” and none of them were used with min. her viewings are useless and the emotional support she allegedly provides for rand is either nonexistent or detrimental 90% of the time.

like what’s going on???? lmao anyway

min was just internally moping about being useless but when mat says “hey i could use you” she gets offended that he phrased it rudely or something??? not sure if you noticed but we’re in the middle of a WAR here min, people don’t have time to waste on making sure their requests are phrased politely enough so as not to hurt your feelings.

min even seems to know about mat’s luck??? you’ve met him ONCE and it was before he had that luck! elayne doesn’t even know about it and she’s his bestie! what’s going on??? i would say rand told her, but i’m not sure even rand is aware of mat’s luck? totally possible that he could be, i just don’t remember.

“they’re insane, min. they’re all bloody insane.” “i’m sure egwene would help you escape if you ask, mat.” “well, i didn’t say they weren’t fun. just insane.” mat name ONE time that the seanchan, infamous war criminals and human rights abusers in whose company you’ve been constantly miserable and fearing for your life and your freedom, have been “fun”

“gritting her teeth, min went down on one knee. the woman was the empress, after all. min wouldn’t bow to mat or the generals, but it was only proper to show respect to fortuona.” literally why??? she’s not YOUR empress!

“who is this one, knotai? she thinks herself high.” “oh, well, she’s just the dragon reborn’s woman.” “how curious. that would make her your equal, knotai.” DJFKGJKJHJKDFHGLJ tuon is calling mat rand’s lover and you can’t change my mind

also, it’s making me completely insane yet again that mat is fully aware that min is rand’s girlfriend and is also fully aware that rand is elayne’s babydaddy and we just do not ever see him have any reaction to that or wonder what’s going on. and we can’t even say “maybe rand explained it to him offscreen while they were catching up” because they didn’t GET one of those catchups like rand & perrin and mat & perrin got.

mat tries to hustle min out: “just keep moving. don’t risk her deciding to snatch you up. she’s not particularly good at letting things go, once she has them in hand.” i was all prepared to feel sorry for him, but then, “he actually sounded proud, saying that.” sigh. “you’re as crazy as they are, min thought.” for once something we can agree on. i am trying so hard to interpret everything as mat having been brainwashed and psychologically beaten into submission, but at times it is difficult.

“i don’t belong to anyone. except maybe rand, and him to me.” compare with aviendha: “he did not own her, and she did not own him.” HMMM. very telling. we now have this, avi shunning the thought of possessive public touching while min drapes herself over rand in public constantly, avi accepting immediately that rand has his duty and she has hers while min mopes over rand not taking her to shayol ghul, avi thinking that she couldn’t be with rand until she knew who she was while min thinks she’ll be whatever rand wants her to be.............the two of them are truly at polar opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of how they view relationships, with min being the end of “painfully insecure, possessive, and monogamous.” “we belong to each other” is probably meant to feel romantic, and if used it a different moment maybe it would be, but the fact that we had avi thinking mere CHAPTERS ago that she and rand don’t own each other really throws this line into sharp relief.

oh wack tuon declares that min is her truthspeaker now. is something interesting and non-rand-related finally happening to min for the first time in 14 books? also, note that it’s something interesting happening TO her rather than her DOING something interesting. that’s the real reason she’s insignificant compared to rand, elayne, and aviendha: not because she isn’t a channeler, but because she’s a passive character. things happen TO her, she doesn’t MAKE things happen.

“loial fought on. this song was not a song of victory. it was a song of life. loial did not intend to die here on this hillside. by the light, he had a book to finish before he went!” 😭❤️

mat is weirdly into min all of a sudden lmao hate that. although it IS further evidence for the “mat is gonna cheat on tuon so fast” folder, and that’s always a good thing. and i guess i shouldn’t have expected anything different when the “thinks of all women in terms of whether they’re fuckable” character and the “exists solely to cater to the straight male gaze” character met up.

“she was with rand, so that made her practically his sister.” so you’re saying that min is your sister-wife, because you are also with rand? also, contrast to in LOC when he was like “elayne is so hot, but i wouldn’t kiss her, not because she’s with rand, just because she’s annoying” mat was 100% willing to homewreck rand with elayne, make of that what you will jkjfgh

mat managed to retain his old clothes and puts them on now! phew

it’s so wild that tuon can just go “you’re my truthspeaker now” and snatch min???? and no one does anything about it???? well min, i guess you’re headed off to seanchan forever after the last battle. sucks for her and i’m not necessarily glad about someone else falling into seanchan hands.............but this DOES clear the way for avirandlayne throuple raising their six (6) babies in caemlyn endgame to happen, it has to be said.

mat mentions that he burned the ugly ratty coat he wore to visit elayne in TOM, aw he was so upset that she made fun of it djkfgj

“mat grinned at tuon, and she favored him with a smile. light, but he liked those smiles.” sigh. though this does absolutely read like a fully brainwashed damane being happy to receive a sul’dam’s approval, which..........well, it sure doesn’t SOOTHE me, but it’s better for mat’s characterization to believe that he’s been brainwashed and slave-broken rather than that he’s just fully bought into all this while in his right mind.

“gawyn stepped up to her side, faithful as always.” ❤️❤️ THIS loyal husband DOES spark joy.

egwene notes that gawyn is looking pale, as if at the start of a sickness. oh no!!!!! i think i remember it was mentioned that you don’t live long after activating the bloodknife rings, but idk if that was just because people only activate them to go on suicide missions or if it means that the rings themselves will actually kill you after a certain point. i do know already that gawyn dies (sob) but i don’t know how or when it will happen (same with egwene’s death, i only know the bare fact and not any details).

lan ousts agelmar and mat ousts bryne later in the chapter. and tenobia dies in the battle, so with her gone and bashere currently unfit to rule, does that mean my girl faile is now queen of saldaea? nice! i mean, rip tenobia and everything, but all hail queen faile.

“‘he seems to be yelling for the dragon reborn,’ galgan said. demandred’s voice boomed across the battlefield right then, enhanced by the one power. he was demanding that the dragon come and face him in a duel.” THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME KJFGKHJ the Unhinged Ex energy of it all! the dragon is a little busy battling the dark one, demandred, read the room! i can’t tell you how much this is making me laugh!!

“mat inspected the fellow through the glass. ‘demandred, eh? has he gone a bit dotty, or what?’” mat watching demandred and going “imagine being so obsessed with rand. could not be me!”

in worse news, mat ends up getting his very own slave due to Can’t Kill A Woman behavior, so that’s fun. (he didn’t explicitly reference Can’t Kill A Woman or give any reason for saving the sharan channeler’s life, but i assume this is the reason.) his response to realizing he accidentally enslaved someone: 1) tells tuon she can have her (because slavery is fine as long as HE’S not the one doing it, i guess), and when tuon insists that the channeler is his, 2) “mat shrugged. what else could he do?” i can think of a few things, mat. just a few. “maybe, if the damane belonged to him, he could let her free or something.” all right that’s something at least. now to see if he actually follows through on that after the last battle or if he simply grows ambivalent enough to let her remain damane.........

“has he punished you for that?” “yes. he returned me to life.” wow moridin needs even MORE therapy than rand does

logain’s contingent arrives on elayne’s battlefied. “we came to you first. the black tower stands with the lion of andor.” fistpump! they may have given up on their deadbeat dad, but they went straight to stepmommy elayne the second they had the chance.

“the woman approaching wore fine seanchan silks, and egwene’s stomach turned at the sight. that finery existed because of a foundation of enslaved channelers, forced into obedience to the crystal throne.” GO OFF QUEEN!!!!! but then it turns out that the woman is min, so idk if that’s supposed to make egwene’s moral rant feel humorous or something? also, the narrative has definitely 100% forgotten that da’covale, aka regular non-channeling people, are also slaves (earlier in this book a westlander referred to them as “servants” which i remember seeing quite a bit in the late rj books too)

“‘you should see the things [the seanchan] drink, egwene.’ ‘i’ve seen them,’ egwene said, unable to keep her tone from coldness. ‘oh. yes. i suppose you have.’” absolute dick move by min here. wasn’t she in falme for a long period of time trying to help rescue egwene?? she should be even more aware of egwene’s captivity than mat! why does everybody have such an easy time just Forgetting that their friend was enslaved and traumatized?

“‘i suppose i’m better off with fortuona. she...knows about a certain talent of mine, thanks to mat, and it might let me help her. and you.’ the statement was laden with meaning.” is min actually going to try to use her newfound influence with tuon to take seanchan down from the inside? now that would be an interesting plotline for her. why didn’t this happen to her 7 books ago? i say, axe min as rand’s love interest and instead send her into tuon’s path MUCH earlier on so that she can use her viewings to influence her into having a little smidge of character development, and plus min has known the sul’dam secret since TGH and so might make more headway with tuon there than mat ever bothered to. then have mat stay with rand instead, being his general and a childhood friend to remind him of who he used to be (since mat actually knows the shepherd boy and min does not). they would both be way more useful in the other’s plotline. hell, we can even switch the romances and make min tuon’s love interest and mat rand’s!

egwene on mat: “a carouser, leering at every pretty woman he met. treating her like a painting and not a person.” i’m probably supposed to think egwene is being unfair to mat and misjudging him, but this is literally exactly how he’s been treating women in his own narration ever since WH and even ACOS. since then, every single woman he meets, he describes in terms of whether or not she’s fuckable. this was not the case in the first 6 books.

“he’d jumped into the river to save kiem lewin from drowning. of course, she hadn’t been drowning. she’d merely been dunked under the water by a friend, and mat had come running, throwing himself into the water to help. the men of emond’s field had made sport of him for months about that. the next spring, mat had pulled jer al’hune from the same river, saving the boy’s life...that was how mat was. he’d grumbled and muttered all winter about how people made sport of him, insisting that next time, he’d just let them drown. then the moment he’d seen someone in danger, he’d gone splashing right back in. egwene could remember gangly mat stumbling from the river, little jer clinging to him and gasping, a look of pure terror in his eyes.” 😭😭😭😭😭

“he was a scoundrel and a fool, but she trusted him. light help her, but she did. she’d trust him with her life.” ❤️❤️❤️ i remember when they parted in LOC being so afraid that that was the last time they’d ever see each other, so i’m so happy to see them interact again in this book! even if their one interaction thus far was mat being shitty to egwene. but i have hope that there will be more and better interactions coming.

once again we have mat fretting over how he married an “aes sedai” and not the fact that he married a slaver

“she was something incredible, though. he felt a thrill each time she gave orders; she did it so naturally. elayne and nynaeve could take lessons. tuon did look very nice on that throne.” 🙄🙄🙄 and once again we have mat gushing over how good tuon is at bossing people around, but failing to provide us with any examples of her showing ACTUAL leadership skills. and gushing over how good tuon is at bossing people around when he constantly shits on the wondergirls for a non-malicious and less extreme version of the same behavior. elayne could take lessons? please. unlike tuon and mat, elayne knows that being a ruler is about more than giving orders and looking good on a throne. mat’s “coming to respect nobility” arc, if it had to happen at all, should’ve been him realizing that being a monarch is hard fucking work, rather than declaring that tuon is Not Like Other Nobles when she embodies every single one of his original negative perceptions of them.

but the good part of this passage is that it gives grounds for mat to have a Queen Elayne kink in a better universe, god bless. getting railed by elayne would honestly do him so much good.

“the sul’dam, catrona, almost choked on the words ‘aes sedai.’ mat couldn’t blame her. those could be tough words to speak.” and once again we have mat showing more empathy for the sul’dam than for the aes sedai they think should be enslaved.

“he didn’t look too hard at the damane [whom he accidentally captured]. mat was responsible for her being captured. it was better than her fighting for the shadow, wasn’t it? blood and bloody ashes, he thought to himself. you are doing a fine job of persuading tuon not to use damane, matrim cauthon. capturing one yourself...” sorry, have you EVER tried to persuade tuon not to use damane? this is literally the first time i’ve seen any indication of that, mat. at least he’s feeling some guilt and sense of responsibility right now, for a whole 3 sentences.

“it was unnerving how quickly the sharan woman had taken to her captivity. the sul’dam had all remarked upon it. barely a moment of struggle, then complete subservience.” AKA EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO MAT IN COT

“demandred - despite continuing to rave about the dragon reborn - was continually testing mat’s defenses.” JKJDFGKJJKH KILLING ME AGAIN rafe please give demandred a canon messy gay backstory with LTT because no other justification for this behavior would be as good.

more lines of mat gushing over tuon’s pretty eyes and how much he likes it when she's pleased with him

mat just referred to the sharan channelers as “marath’damane” ugh. but then a paragraph later he mentions “[the seanchan] had started using the term [aes sedai] instead of marath’damane by mat’s order” so that’s good. maybe the prior line i’ll chalk up to it originally being galgan’s line which sanderson then gave to mat and forgot to change “marath’damane” to “channelers” or something.

“he had an inkling of what tuon might be capable of, if she grew displeased with min. he loved her - light, he was pretty sure he did. but he also let himself be a little afraid of her. he’d have to keep watch so that tuon didn’t decide to ‘educate’ min.” okay this is bone chilling. mat is SO CLEARLY in an abusive marriage and a subconscious part of him KNOWS it and is trying to protect min from tuon, though he’s resigned to the thought that it’s too late to protect himself. but the conscious part of him is insisting that he loves tuon, he really does! heartbreaking.

mat spends a whole paragraph talking about how it sucks that seanchan women’s armor doesn’t show boobs and how he ACTUALLY ASKED the armorer if that should be changed. “light, these people had no sense of morality. a fellow needed to know if he was fighting a woman on the battlefield. it was only right.” i’m thinking that in addition to Objectifying Women and Can’t Kill A Woman nonsense, mat is also afraid he might be like “ooh that soldier’s hot!” and then realize it’s a man jdfkjg just accept it mat it’s okay.

“tuon blinked once, looking straight at min. the room seemed to drop into shade, feeling colder. mat shivered. he didn’t like it when tuon got like this. that stare of hers...it seemed like the stare of another person. a person without compassion.” i mean this is literally how she always is? name ONE time when tuon has displayed compassion. also, more “mat being trapped in an abusive marriage and trying to convince himself that it isn’t so and that this isn’t the ~real~ tuon” vibes here.

really interesting scene between tuon and min regarding min’s viewings. tuon attempts to take advantage of the viewings and prevent them from happening, which is a refreshing change from how everyone else just immediately accepted “ah well they can’t be changed, no point trying.” and min stands up to tuon and refuses to share her viewings anymore if tuon will just use them to execute people she suspects of future treason, which is a refreshing change from everyone else having their spine removed when tuon is in the room. see? these two characters play off each other quite well and this plotline/dynamic should’ve been set up way sooner! my 2 most hated characters in the series, yet when they’re together i actually kinda enjoy their interactions lmao it’s witchcraft! probably because min is finally showing an actual personality outside of loving rand now that she’s been separated from him, and because she argues with and challenges tuon and tuon actually listens to her (to an extent) since she’s her truthspeaker.

“if only min would learn a little respect.” mat is literally so scared of his friend getting abused the same way he is, he wants her to just keep her head down.

i love egwene and mat talking in code about his medallion! “do you still have your pet fox?” “i do. he’s snuggled up nice and warm.” “take care of him. i would not see you suffer gareth bryne’s fate.”

mat says “what does elayne want to do? isn’t she in charge?” king shit! respecting her authority and wanting her input, unlike perrin! and then he asks them to make another gateway to get elayne to this meeting so she can discuss with them!

“elayne strode through, thick with child, eyes practically on fire.” mat shaking hands meme with rand and aviendha over commenting on the fire in elayne’s eyes

“she maintained the posture of a queen, but her disheveled hair and clothing burned in several places indicated what she’d been through.” and his earlier description of egwene: “blood and bloody ashes - if he had a soldier with that cast to his skin and that look in his eyes, mat would send the fellow to bed rest for a week.” see, mat? this is what ACTUAL leadership looks like, while tuon has been sitting cozy on her throne letting everyone else do the fighting.

i love to see mat and elayne making battle plans together!!!! power couple!!!!!! tuon could never (she’s just sitting there silently for the whole discussion)

“now, if only [galad] could right [elayne’s] moral compass. she wasn’t a bad person, but galad wished that she - like other monarchs - could see as clearly as he did. he was beginning to accept that they didn’t. he was beginning to accept that it was all right, so long as they tried their best. whatever he had inside of him that allowed him to see the right of things was obviously a gift of the light, and holding others to scorn because they had not been born with it was wrong. just as it would be wrong to hold a man to scorn because he had been born with only one hand, and was therefore an inferior swordsman.” y’all are really trying to tell me that gawyn is the worse trakand brother when galad’s self-righteous holier-than-thou superiority-complex christian-fundamentalist ass is out here behaving like this??? unreal. galad fucking sucks!!!!!!! and has learned absolutely nothing from what morgase was trying to teach him in the last book - his arc should’ve been coming to realize that his view of what’s right isn’t absolute truth, but instead it was coming to accept that it’s okay if other people aren’t as good and perfect as he is because they have not been blessed by the light like he has. bonkers!!!!

like, this is VERY close to how tuon thinks in her povs. this sense of entitlement and enlightenment, this conviction that they are the only ones who know what’s truly right and they must help the ignorant rest of the world see it too - that is BANG ON seanchan thinking.

“he had stopped worrying that his words offended [elayne] long ago. it seemed he couldn’t claim that a day was pleasant or his tea warm without her taking offense somehow. it would have been nice if aybara hadn’t run off. that man was a leader - one of the few that galad had ever met - that one could actually talk to without worrying that he’d take offense.” galad literally being a rightwinger complaining about how easily offended everybody is these days by harmless little things such as being part of a group trying to take away their rights! clearly, elayne is just a special snowflake who’s too sensitive, it’s so unfair that she’s mean to galad!

no wonder reddit is on galad’s side and whines so much about how immature and prejudiced elayne’s behavior towards him is

the virgin galad (religious zealot, misogynist, joins a group dedicated to oppressing people like his sister and then complains about how mean she is to him about it) vs. the chad gawyn (respects women, devoted his life to protecting his wife, switched sides when he realized that his original side was actively bringing harm to his loved ones)

in conclusion, fuck galad all my homies hate galad. except all my homies DON’T hate galad and so i am alone being old man yells at cloud meme! wake up, my homies! he’s the worst!

there IS a small moment where he instinctively thinks of the whitecloaks as “the whitecloaks” instead of “the children” and is shocked with himself about it, so i guess that’s something. too little too late!

we catch up with faile retrieving the horn from tar valon! wow i completely forgot about that. their conversation at the beginning of the book where they sent her to get it feels like it was 5 books ago.

and aviendha is attacked by some of the aiel male channelers! turns out that when an aiel man can channel they send him to the blight (i’m sure this was mentioned before, i just forgot) and that’s how they all got corrupted by the dark one.

“mat had run off to the seanchan, talmanes to fight alongside queen elayne. one by one, everyone in this group was being eaten by trees, mud, or monsters. why did they all leave olver alone?” “noal...dead. would mat die too?” 😭😭😭

“i am not spending the last battle clinging to a rock! [nynaeve] thought.” my mood exactly lmao we’re on page 600 and she and moiraine have not done anything yet!

it turns out that alanna is in the cavern and is dying, and rand will snap and go crazy if she dies, so nynaeve has to save her but she can’t use saidar because she’s still linked with rand. oh shit!!! it’s nice to see alanna’s bond with rand FINALLY be relevant and have narrative payoff.

egwene is still so ready to help mat escape tuon and the seanchan 😭

mat complains that tuon wants him to sit in judgment. “mat was not going to order men to be executed, and that was that.” okay so then you should sit in judgment and pronounce them innocent rather than avoid jury duty and let other people pronounce them guilty and have them executed? obvious solution here, mat. he complains about elayne and other nobles (gawyn here in this passage) being entitled, yet when HE is given power and privilege that he could potentially use to help others, he does nothing with it. (obviously he’s too busy preparing for the battle to sit in judgment right at this very moment, so that’s fair enough, but his objection IS that he doesn’t want to execute people rather than that he has more pressing duties right now.)

we get 2 little nuggets of the mat-gawyn interactions i’d hoped for in the previous book and didn’t get and i’m delighted!!! “gawyn trakand was apparently practicing to be an aes sedai sometime, because he kept giving mat glares that would have made moiraine proud.” “‘burn me, first rand, then you [egwene]. is everybody going to chivy me about these days? gawyn, you want a turn?’ ‘yes, please.’ he sounded eager. ‘shut up,’ mat said.” JDFGJKHKJHJFG that’s one of my top 10 interactions in the book so far, why did it make me laugh so hard!! could’ve been even better if mat had married elayne and he and gawyn were now annoyed brothers-in-law!

“he could feel something pulling on him, tugging him northward. rand would need him soon.” “he narrowed his eye. rand was tugging on him.” one more cauthor ta’veren pull instance for the road!

“this is it, egwene. take a deep breath, a last pull on the brandy, or burn your final pinch of tabac. have a good look at the ground before you, as it’s soon going to be covered in blood. in an hour, we’ll be in the thick of it. the light watch over us all.” dun dun duuuuuuuun!!!! and the next chapter, titled “the last battle,” is TWO HUNDRED PAGES so i’m calling it a day for this recap.

#wot #wot book spoilers

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harrowscore · 3 months

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Ship game you said? Eh eh. Let's go: ere//mika (or the ultimate meta on way you have so many problem with the pairing) and,to compensate the bitter with the sweeter:riva/mika. I'm particularly curious about this one because since there was the "levi ackermann" reveal almost nobody talk about their dynamic because "yikes,they could be cousin!11!1"

OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY i left this ask to rot in my box and then forgot all about it I'M SO SORRY fellow salernitana i hope you can forgive me 😭😭😭😭😭

so... starting with why i don't ship e.remika (a serious understatement): it's a horrid potpourri of the tropes i most loathe in the world and that unfortunately seem prevalent in the shonen genre for. some reason i guess. my dislike of ~Girl Obsesses Over Boy (who doesn't care and/or seem to notice her feelings i may add) Until Boy *gasps* Loves Her Back (with no build-up whatsoever. it's all telling and not showing)~ knows no bound. (see also i.chihime from bleach) it's especially annoying to me if the girl has. no fucking goals or aspirations (and sometimes even IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS) that don't revolve around the boy, which is mikasa's case. to sum it all up... this dependency is okay (in fiction, i mean!) only if it comes from both sides. think of cathy & heathcliff (e.remika is like. the fucking discount badly written version of WH): both can't function without the other in an exquisitely destructive portrayal of obsession and codependency that borders on narcissism. so that's not healthy at all, like mikasa's love for eren, which is something that i'm not saying as a hater but that gets explicitly acknowledged in-universe with the intentional parallels with ymir the progenitor's '''love''' for king fritz (tho they make a pairing like, idk, joker/harley look like cutesy vanilla relationship goals, and em as straight up austenian romance lmao).

but, back to WH... it's SO well-written. mikasa instead is sadly dependent on eren to the point her entire character arc is about getting over him and moving on with her grief. that's insane, considering he - as the (male!) protagonist - obviously loves her, but he's got so much else to do, has actual goals which are the basis for the whole plot, and interesting, complex relationships with so many other characters. [yes, i said that he loves mikasa, tho i don't buy that he wanted to live with her in la Casetta In Canadà and forget the world because that's SO not eren; that's mikasa's dream, and it's shown as illusory wishful thinking for a reason. but while i think his romantic feelings were portrayed so badly it's kinda laughable ngl, it's always been obvious that he deeply cares for her. she and armin are the most important persons in his life, and idw to imply differently.] mikasa comes VERY close to have her own arc, independently from eren, but her character development seems to round in circles again. and again. and again. letting eren go - which is something that stems from the trauma-imprinting she had on him; she never elaborated her parents' death, and losing him too would mean losing them, feeling that pain, all over again - is something she's shown to do in the early episodes of s1, before eren even turns into a titan. but then we see her choose him over all else again, and then realizes that there are other important things and persons too (that time levi injured himself to save her because she was too focused on getting to her boy, remember?). and then the cycle repeats all over again to peak in the (admittedly tragic but extremely predictable) finale, where he's destroying the fucking world, almost killing her and all their friends, and she still hesitates over taking a fucking stand. she fights against the founder titan, yes, but she never openly condemns eren's actions, she never stands up to him like armin does. mikasa is shown as a strong, sometimes even defiant person to everyone else but eren (see how she gets with levi; especially in the manga, she contradicts him A Lot and doesn't give a shit about his scary reputation - her own is nearly as fearsome after all); she's very passive with him in a way that doesn't suit her. of course she loves eren, but armin loves him too and he fights back and doesn't take any of eren's shit when he insults them both, while mikasa just... stands there crying prettily, i guess. which brings me to the elephant in the room: it's armin who's actually the biggest influence on eren (the latter himself says it was armin showing him the book about the outside world that made him realise he wasn't free, just to list one example); it's to save him who eren sacrifices himself for, which then prompts his first transformation into the attack titan. they're narrative foils (tho the same could be said about him and reiner and to a lesser extent gabi), complementary opposites. he's so physically affectionate towards armin, especially if contrasted with his colder behaviour towards poor mikasa - okay, he's a bit of a tsundere, but one thing is saying that he represses his feelings actually, and another is showing it!

i know all about characters repressing and outright denying they feel something for their LI, believe me; i love emotionally stunted idiots who can't emote for shit (maybe because i am so emotional and feel things too deeply, i'm drawn to my opposite). but @ yams....... please...... have mercy on me, because that's Now How You Do It, and whoever says otherwise is delusional. if a female character from anything but a shonen/bordering on seinen anime got this kind of characterization there would be so much discourse, so many polarizing opinions, so much hate for the author. i'm not saying western media don't have a sexism problem - quite the contrary!! - but mikasa is. an especially bad case? i haven't seen one so bad in a long ass while, maybe because i'm used to consume media with (generally speaking) well-written female characters. like, c'mon. imagine if mikasa had been the female protagonist of a fantasy book series, or a tv show... oh god. and no, sorry but having her kick ass right and left doesn't make her a Strong Female Character actually. Feminism 101 is founded on women having a life outside their relationship with men, and. mikasa doesn't? not really? at least compared to other female characters in the series. yams made a half-decent job with them (tho giving that backstory to ymir the progenitor was. certainly A Choice, as it was sidelining historia and annie for so many chapters), which makes mikasa's static, repetitive, stale character arc really, really sad, because my girl had so much potential. i mean, even em as a pairing had so much potential! childhood friends turned to enemies, like, hello?? imagine if mikasa had got armin's complexity and relevance and a fucking life outside of eren, for god's sake. imagine if she loved him, really, but she repressed her feelings and wasn't so heavily dependent on him (or they both were. from the beginning), and still stood up to him and called him out on his bullshit without erasing her hidden vulnerability and fragility. imagine if their relationship was between equals and-- ah, imagine her getting a character development a la casca (without all the horrifying shit she endures and the 200 chapters long catatonia and sexualisation, tho, tyvm!!!), since isayama himself said she was the blueprint for mikasa - in general he was heavily inspired by berserk - and it shows because they're basically twins separate at birth *insert spiderman meme*. i mean, yams even said that the scene where eren saves mikasa from the slave traders was based on griffith rescuing casca and her imprinting on him instantly, and god does it show.

........... but then em would just be het e.remin, so. whatever. there's also mikasa's need to grow the fuck up, and for that she needs to see that her wishful thinking, her beliefs about ~Eren Loves Me So Much, He Can't Live Without Me!! even when he gives her the cold shoulder so many times, are wrong. that's how you write a character growing into adulthood: you challenge them, you show that the world is founded on a very different basis than what they believed. (see lucy from fallout - she's an adult but she's in a metaphorical infancy before getting out of her vault and a coming-of-age arc throughout much of the series.) if you reinforce mikasa's beliefs... she just remains static. which brings me to...

r.ivamika: oh, i adore them. they had so much potential in many different ways... unfortunately it's very, very obvious how much yams doesn't give a shit about the ackermans. first thing first: it's not incest. they're not cousins. it's explicitly stated that they're only very distantly related, and well, it's glaring how much they don't consider each other "family" or whatever. they're descendants of the same ancient clan, that's all. (actually, mikasa is eren's foster sister and she says he's her family more than once. but that's something em shippers generally seem to gloss over. not that i think em is incest either, it's not. maybe a very lite version of pseudo-incest like the abovementioned WH, but nothing more.) tbh i always thought of them being "related" a la darkling and mal from the greggrisha trilogy. technically they are but (stealing my brother's words of wisdom about the whole rm insane discourse) "it isn't gross" because it's been too fucking long for a relationship between them to be incestous. i mean, guys... words have meaning. you can dislike it but after many generations (500 years for the darkling and mal) they're really not more than nominally related at best. after six gens the shared blood is 0.01%, let alone... whatever the fuck levi and mikasa are. i mean, this obsession the fandom has with them as ~cousins is ridiculous - okay for a headcanon, obviously, but they're very much not framed like that in-universe. like, they have a professional relationship between a soldier and her superior, between comrades in arms. she loathes him until she doesn't; she thinks he's (and i quote) a "sadistic freak" until she doesn't, and she starts to feel respect for him and even *gasp* CARE FOR HIS WELL-BEING lmao???? but nope, she doesn't think of him as a family member. yams could have easily gone that way with them, but he didn't. it's nice to think about mikasa finally finding a belonging, especially with all her grief and family-issues (see, again, her obsession with eren, as stated above)... but that's exactly the reason why i like levi as a romantic option for her.

i'll explain why: they have this Pride&Prejudice vibes+mentor/protégée+veteran/talented newcomer+recognition through the other (derogatory) thing going on that i find very interesting. someone once said levi is basically a more evolved and mature version of mikasa, and i agree. but they're also very different, in a way that would both complement the other and challenge them. levi has an almost opposite way of dealing with grief compared to mikasa: she fiercely clings to few close people and does everything in her power to stop them from fading away from her; he has a long history with losing people too, and that's what makes him keep everyone at a distance (and fail spectacularly at it but that's another matter). he's already resigned to letting them go (see how he deals with erwin and hange's deaths, for example) and making hard choices in a merciless, impossible situation. you can't suffer if you don't grow attached to people in a world and a profession where death is an everyday occurrence, right...? right?????? except that he cares and mourns too, of course. he just represses it all, and he's very efficient at it. now, since mikasa's main issue is that she can't let go (especially of eren)... you can see how they both can teach something to each other and grow together. they're very similar personality-wise: both stoic, strong, loyal, excellent fighters, with a cold façade and a (more or less hidden) heart of gold beyond all that ice. they're both the strongest in the world; she's the only one who can keep up with him on the battlefield, the only one who can challenge him (and vice versa). he respects her almost from the very start; she despises him so hard that it blinds her in some occasions, but grows from hating his guts for kicking the shit out of eren to asking his help to kill eren. obviously they're the only ones with their special powers, being the last ackermans and all that. they could really understand each other on a deep level... if only isayama had made them interact!!!!! which he didn't. I MEAN. searching for their clan's roots, bonding over how unique and, for this very same reason, lonely they are? ["there are no others like us, and there never will be" *cough cough*] nope. let's make them never address the elephant in the room!! tbh they could have been descendants of different clans with similar powers and biology, and nothing about their relationship would have changed lmao. like, this girl has serious family-related issues; that's one of the reasons she fixates on eren. why doesn't she go to levi and, idk, ask him about something, anything? that's such a glaring flaw - not a plot hole but a... characterization hole, if you will - i seriously can't even fathom it. all this Carramba Che Sorpresa shit, all this fucking insanity over the poor harmless rm shippers... for that? (with that being: nothing. the void. nietzsche's abyss, maybe.) 😭😭😭😭😭😭 also, there's this persistent headcanon in the fandom that levi would inquire about the ackerlore, but... this only shows how shallow some fans' reading of the characters is. levi WOULD NEVER. levi is afraid of committing himself to someone, to feel so deeply he can't recover from a loss, to have distractions from his long-time goal, and this includes family business. (isayama actually explicitly said it in an interview!) it's mikasa who's so hungry for belonging... and making her curious about their shared heritage, having some kind of bond with levi (even a strictly platonic one), would have helped her step out of eren's shadow. like, a lot. and of course that didn't happen... whatever.

tl;dr: i love them and i've written about them more than any other pairing so far, which is ridiculous (2 long fics, one of which is sadly unfinished, and a shorter one). I'm not fixated on aot anymore these days - the toxicity in the fandom and my displeasure with some of the manga's storylines were curbing my enthusiasm - but they'll always have a special place in my heart. gotta love a semi-rareship with such a potentially juicy, complex dynamic.

(e naturalmente se vuoi Passare Al Lato Oscuro e see what all the fuss is about posso linkarti un paio di fic scritte molto bene, oppure umilmente farti leggere le mie, che sono in italiano)

thank you so much for the ask and, again, SORRY for not replying for so. fucking. long ughhhhhhh ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#asks #sorry for the long ass meta lmao you're absolutely not obliged to read it all #especially because my opinions are apparently so... controversial #admittedly i'm not in touch with most of the fanbase. i just live in my own bubble lol

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