#and then ill let slime do whatever he wants

[ludwigfootfan]

okay slime/brittany broski shippers please rise

[muddyorbsblr]

ill-intentioned "compliments"

Drabbles Masterlist See my full list of works here!

Summary: Loki steps in when a man subjects you to his tasteless opinion on your outfit

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 955 (issa blurb)

Warnings: creepy men being creepy; the tiniest dose of violence (let me know if I missed anything!)

Things to be aware of: a bit of mutual pining

"I haven't the slightest idea why we have even been tasked with this," Loki muttered, walking alongside you holding a paper with a list of errands for the two of you to run this weekend. Every other week, two names from the team were picked from a hat, and this week, your names popped up.

"Well Pepper said something about it helping the team seem more approachable, 'human', if the public sees us doing 'normal people' things. So getting groceries, getting the cars cleaned and gassed up, picking up pizza…little things."

He grumbled even worse; if he wasn't such a stickler for his princely stature, he'd probably be slouching and dragging his feet right about now. "I suppose it could be worse," he said softly. "I could have been partnered with less tolerable company."

"Why Mischief, are you saying you like having me around?" you quipped, playfully batting your eyes at the god. "High praise coming from you."

"Do not make me regret saying that, little mortal." He rolled his eyes at you, failing to hold back the twitching of the corner of his mouth and hide the amusement. As he often did when he was around you.

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I like having you around, too."

Your words took him aback. "Truly?"

"Of course." You pointed at the next item on your list, before motioning toward the top shelf. "You're the most tolerable tall person I could've been partnered with. Last time I got partnered with your brother I had to push around two carts on my own."

You had to look away while he reached up for the carton of pickle jars, resisting against every urge to ogle at the way his midnight black jeans stretched over his inhumanly perfectly shaped ass. "Well for what it's worth, darling, I would never let you do any of this on your own--"

"We-he-heeeelll, Agent Y/L/N," a voice drawled out, coming from a man who was no less than two decades your senior, eyes filled with such prurient thoughts that he didn't even bother to hide as he leered at you. The way he said your name, along with the way he looked at you, felt like you were being blanketed in slime.

Made you want nothing more than to kick his ass. Or even rack up a debt to the god you were partnered with and ask for his help.

"Don't you look mighty fine today, in that cute little skirt…" The unwelcome lecherous admirer was reaching his hand out toward you, letting out a yowl of pain when Loki stormed over, grabbed the man's wrist in his significantly larger hand, and squeezed.

"I think not," he said through gritted teeth. "You're undeserving to be sharing the same breath as her and you believe yourself entitled to a touch?"

"What? I was just paying her a compliment!" the man whined. "It's a free country, you fucking alien. What? I can't tell a woman she's pretty anymore? Is that what--"

"You know damn well you were doing more than that. You were putting her in a situation to give a clear message, that despite her stature and place in society, because you have deemed it so, she is still subject to your lecherous thoughts. You were going to touch her without her consent because you wished for her to know that you can, and whatever happens in the aftermath will not nullify how she was already subjected to being groped by your grimy unworthy hands." The god squeezed a touch tighter, a near sadistic smile stretched across his face when he began to hear bones creaking and threatening to crack.

"Fucking psycho you're breaking my hand!"

"Oh I haven't even begun to get psychotic," Loki spat out, squeezing just a touch harder and hearing the first fracture finally give in. He begun to speak lower, and you were too far away to decipher what he said next. "You know not the lengths I would go for her, you impotent, tiny, inconsequential insectile excuse for a man. Anyone who sullies her mood will have me to answer to, am I being clear?"

Another squeeze. More fractures. And the once supercilious man was reduced to a whimpering mess, pleading for mercy. "P-Please I'm sorry, just let me go I won't do it again."

"See to it that you don't." The god's eyes glowed a vibrant green for a moment, casting an enchantment that would replicate the sensation of his hand fracturing whenever he would so much as feel the urge to touch another unfortunate unwitting woman moving forward. When he was certain that the spell had taken, he released the lech's hand with a derisive sneer, not even bothering to watch him scamper away, choosing instead to turn and cross the few steps back to you.

"You know I could've kicked his ass no problem."

"I have no doubts, little mortal, but that would also mean you would have given him the satisfaction of touching him." He broke out into a smile when you scrunched up your face at his response, fighting against the urge to reach for your hand. Or tuck that stray lock of hair behind your ear.

Or kiss you.

"Thank you," you said softly as you both started walking toward the register. "The guys back at the Compound got it so wrong about you. You're not so bad." Loki's heart stumbled at your words, only to start pounding in his chest as you continued. "I'm starting to wonder if you're bad at all."

For the first time in ages, the god found himself unable to form words, a warmth blooming in both his gut and his chest. "Anytime, darling."

A/N: Made this for @glitchquake because we should be allowed to wear cute workout clothes without worry about creepy fckers that 100% deserve stabbies when they try to bust out their creep factor 😤

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears @herdetectivetheorist

[ltbunny]

Ex husband price brain worms again, c.w/ nsfw, unedited, bad writing, I've never published nsfw before

It's your ex-husband, Price's birthday, and the last thing you expect is for him to show up, with a sweet, suave smile on his face

It's not even his custody day but he says "come on, love. I wanted us to spend it together, like a family. You're really not going to let me take my favourite two girls out for my own birthday?"

All you can do is roll your eyes and let him as he walks in, leaning down and leaving a small peck on your forehead as your daughter runs down the stairs to hug her dad, squealing.

He's adamant about cooking lunch for you two, but you stop him

"Oh, come off it, John, I'll cook since it's your birthday, and you keep saying you'll take us out"

He gets dragged off to play teaparty with the little princess and comes back after a while, his arms slot around your waist, swaying side to side softly as you half heartedly try to stop him, he just grins and nestles his head into the crook of your neck,

"Let the 'birthday boy' hug his wife, love."

"Ex-wife, john."

"Mhm, whatever makes you happy. Happy wife, happy life."

Lunch is served, and the three of you spend the rest of the day going shopping, prices idea. Dollhouse, cars, legos, Barbie, slime, whatever the kid wants, and some small gold necklace for you, even though you won't accept it,

"They're too much, John, stop it-"

"But, love, this is your favourite design and the colour. It'll look beautiful on you."

He buys it and even gets the jeweller to engrave a small j.p on the back of the charm while you're not looking.

He takes you two to a small fancy restaurant at the end of the day, your daughter playing with her new toys on the table, while John's hand holds yours on the table.

"Might retire soon, getting up there in age, love," his eyes watch the way your light up slightly, looking at him before turning away slightly, seeing his gaze, "ill be able to be around more often, wasn't that one of your complaints, I was too busy, so I gave you a little one."

You smack his arm lightly, "Oh, shush, John. She'll be happy. She is always saying how she misses her dad. She keeps asking for a little brother, says everyone in class has one except her," You chuckle softly

At the end of dinner, he drives you two back home, your daughter tuckered out, he picks her up and takes her to her room, tucking her in, kissing her forehead softly, "sorry, I'm not here much, princess, I promise to be around more, okay?"

He comes downstairs and kisses your cheek as you swat him off lightly,

"Stop it, John, you know that's not appropriate,"

"Mhm, whatever you say love, come help me take the things out the car will you?"

The night ends with price bending you over in the backseat, fucking you desperately,

"Fuck, love, I missed this grip, you might have a hard time saying it but your pussy's been missing me, huh? The guys you bring round ain't big enough for ya anymore? Don't worry, daddy's here."

Your fingers grip the car seat, squealing every time he thrusts in

"There's only one thing I wanted for my birthday, you know, love? It's been real lonely up by myself sometimes, and been thinking," he hums lowly, grinding deep inside you while you struggle to even keep up with his pace let alone words, he moves over you, one hand groping your breast, teasing the nipple, the other coming up to your clit, rubbing it along with the harsh pace, "been thinking bout this pussy, and getting the present of life, ain't that cute?"

You gasp, your pussy squeezing around his cock tighter as he starts rubbing your clit faster, "John, please- is, is too much," you moan

"You're doing so well for me, mama, you want another little one too, right? You always said one feels bad, we need to give our little baby a sibling,"

"John- holy shit," your legs shake as he presses you down against the seats, every thrust with one purpose, "please, please, I'm so close!"

He keeps going until he feels your legs trembling, three loads in, his fingers massaging your clit, his lips kissing your neck, leaving hickeys for everyone to see.

You wake up in your bed, listening to John's snoring as you yawn, shifting to get up slightly, his arms tighten around you and his eyes open slightly.

"Mmhm, best birthday ever."

He mumbles before he starts snoring again

[corviisquire]

Creatures have colors!!

Left to Right: @moonchild-in-blue @leonsleftbicep @ghxstly-death

@pear-island

Left to Right: @a-s-levynn @foundationsofdecay @polteergeistt

They have been colored along with making some minor adjustments. If anyone wants anything changed please let me know! These creatures are yours so name them whatever you want, develop lore if ya want, and do whatever you want with them. Possible next batch will probably be made later next week.

Art notes under cut :D

I put some music drops because music inspires me too much.

Moonchild-in-blue: The blues and purples!! Opals and the insides of muscle shells inspired me a lot with the coloring (particularly the stars and moon). There’s another shell that has that shiny blue and green lining on the inside but I can’t remember the name of it. It was a full moon last night but I forgot to take a picture! Thought of you but anyways I loved coloring the lady. It was fun but I first I struggled on deciding if I wanted more blue or purple.

Some songs I listened to a lot while coloring this:

Sweet Disposition - Temper Trap

Moon Child - F16s

The Night Does Not Belong to God - you know who

Leonsleftbicep: Colors go crazy! Idk what your favorite colors are but I chose The Blue. I also incorporated some red (for yummy contrast and complementary colors). I realized this looked very vampire media core. EyAH enjoy the critter!

Some songs I listened to while coloring this:

Blue Monday - Orgy

Military Fashion Show - And One

The Apparition - do I really need to say who?

Ghxstly-death: Per your request, red and black was incorporated! Was inspired by Mohg, Lord of Blood, from Elden ring cause he has cool robes and a trident thingy. I really like how it turned out. Like I’ve been doing with every design is adding the bling and I felt gold would work well.

Was resisting the urge to put the entire One EP right here:

Get The Balance Right! - Depeche Mode

Mascara - Deftones

Jaws - Slep tonka

SEVEN HOUR SHITTER (pearisland/perryisle): You use bright colors in your art all the time so we got the colors goingggg. Little guy reminds me of Pumpkin Patch protagonist or Hollow Knight. Idk. Not much to say except TRIPLE DEATH SLIME BARRAGE!!!

No normal music for you. only Kevin Macleod and Pizza Tower ST.

A-s-levynn: More Dark Sun Gwyndolin inspiration… (you can tell I have my dark souls art books open next to me right now). As requested, tendrils/tentacles were added! I think it improved the design a whole lot because it was originally very symmetrical and the tentacles added just the right amount of asymmetry to balance out the overall look. I’m a huge fromsoft fan (playing Elden Ring, waiting for new DLC, have dark souls 1 remastered but haven’t started it yet, have bloodborne Elden ring and DS1/3 art books) so lots of my art has elements from Fromsoft games (neutron activation).

And just like everyone else, some music for the soul:

Too Late - 311

Scared Together - Silversun Pickups

Dark Signs - eepy coin

Foundationsofdecay: Again, taking more inspiration from your blog, colors and stuff. The design had subconscious influence from the game sky: children of the light. Had lotsa fun coloring it. I don’t know much about you like favorite colors or flowers but I tried my best!

Songs that inspired me:

Let It Happen - Tame Impala

Flux - Bloc Party

Rain - tired currency

Polteergeistt: The oarfish colors… A lot Of these characters have cool blues so I tried to use some teal blues to contrast the red/pink(?). “Nintendo switch core” I’m sobbing. I fixed the feet. Now my Pinterest is filled to the brim with fish images (specifically oarfish, sea jellies, and blue lobsters).

The music!!!!!:

UNDERWATER BOI - Turnstile

The Illness (Teenagers Remix) - GoodBooks

Descending - exhausted dollar

Thank you so much. All of you are such lovely people. 🫂💕🫶

[autisticsupervillain]

Gamzee Makara is an Avatar of the Spiral!

Drug Addiction is a mental illness and Gamzee has been an addict for nearly his entire life, constantly struggling with sopor slime addiction. This addiction has completely torpedoed most of his relationships, leading to most of his friends treating him like a useless stoner as a result.

Gamzee frequently struggles with control over his own mind, having frequent run ins with mind control from the Serkets and Cal.

Gamzee's powers run almost completely on inexplicability and nonsense. He's completely immortal across the entire multiverse simply because the plot demands it, his inventory breaks the rules by basically doing whatever it wants and letting him wield any weapon he wants, and his behavior both before and after his turn in often comically inexplicable and random.

After his turn, Gamzee frequently deals in gaslighting and manipulation, such as in his relationship with Terezi. His powers serve this purpose well, as they often allow him to cause hallucinations, nightmares, or directly tamper with the victim's mind. Assuming he performed these actions under Cal's influence would only further solidify his alignment, as a loss of identity and agency is key to the Spiral's theme.

One of Gamzee’s character traits is a rejection of scientific explanations in favor of simply believing the universe to be miraculous, which would make him particularly susceptible to the Spiral's influence, as it abhorres science and logic.

Alternatives

The Lonely

Gamzee's isolated upbringing serves as one of the primary motivators of his character. He fell into drug abuse because of his dad's neglect, he's isolated from his friends by both his caste and his addiction, and his ultimate fate has him trapped forever in a fridge, isolated from everyone else.

His desperation to end this Loneliness is what gets him to adopt Caliborn and Calliope, forcing himself to stomach Caliborn's abuse. Notably, his method of rasing them involves chaining them up in their rooms (which, in fairness, is supposed to be healthy for Cherubs, as they're a very isolated species).

The Dark

The Dark's religious angle plays well into Gamzee’s religious beliefs, as the reveal that his beliefs were supposedly fake is a major factor in his heel face turn. This would leave a void in his worldview that the Dark could nicely fill, if Lil'Cal didn't get involved.

Notably, darkness has a much more benevolent connotation in troll culture than it does on Earth, as the sunlight is lethal on Alternia and trolls are a nocturnal race, making a benevolent interpretation of The Dark as some form of loving god a distinct possibility for Gamzee under the right circumstances.

[moonrisecalamityretreat]

smeared mirrors || loic || trial 6.7 || re: SHUT YOUR ASS UP BRO!!!!!

He feels ill.

As Jinpachi talks to him in that sugary sweet tone and that infantile tongue, Loic feels sick to his stomach, like he’s just ingested far more buttercream icing than one person should ever consume at one point, and now, it’s rolling over in his gut. From just how it’s said to what is said, Loic can’t keep the slime from covering his entire body. However, it’s soon replaced with a mounting rage.

“You…How dare you talk about her like that? How--You claim that we’re your friends or--or whatever, and you--She’s dead because of you. You killed her. She--She wasn’t one of your blessed or whatever you’re going on about, she was my best friend. She was as close to a sister to me as--no, she was my sister, and you’re--Keep any mention of her out of your fucking mouth. You don’t deserve to defile her like that.”

He spits this and reaches up to play with one of his earrings, once again letting the gentle sway of the metal attempt to calm him. She won’t ever leave them really, but she’s gone in ways that matter when you want to make new memories with someone. All he has now are relics of her, things he carries around to love.

“I only--have Yuriko and Maxie because I got people killed! Well, I-I got--I got one killed, and it was sheer luck that another didn’t--I mean our savior or what the fuck ever finally decided to get the thumb out of their ass and do something, but--I’m lucky to have anyone left at all, and, unlike you, I don’t wear my body count with pride.”

Sure, he might not have shoved Hotaru down the pit himself, but she never would have gone anywhere had it not been for him and his own lies. He will never regret what he did, but he will always feel guilt and wish there had been another way to save his brother.

His brother…His brother who Jinpachi callously and disgustingly addresses, like he has any right to talk to him or any of them in any way other than to ask them to please vote for him so they can all just go home after this nightmare. The implication of his words doesn’t escape Loic, and he reaches over to place a hand against Maxime’s arm; whether it’s to ground him or to ground himself, he’s not certain, but his entire body shakes.

“That’s wrong. Treatment is possible for anyone who wants it because it has to be. Maybe nothing worked entirely yet, but--you don’t know how--how different he is now. You don’t know how close to crying I got when I realized that there were people here that he cared about, and he was talking with them and smiling sometimes and…”

“You’ve had your freedom stolen from you. Not by AEDS but by your own brother.”

Was that true? Surely not, considering who was saying it and what he was saying it about, but it’s a sentiment he’s sure has only come out after Jinpachi listened in on conversations between Juzo and himself and a handful of others amongst their number. He had been a ball and chain around Maxime’s ankle during a time when, maybe, freedom to do what he wanted would have been a better treatment, would have mitigated some sort of effect of AEDS. Maybe the stress of having to raise a teenager was part of the reason why it developed or continued to develop or…or something like that…

His spiral is stopped as he remembers Maxime’s words from earlier.

“You’ve done quite a lot for me, for one.”

The distortion of the ugliest things Loic thought about himself was just that: a distortion. The thoughts themselves weren’t even true.

“You…shut up. Right now. Right fucking now--Don’t you dare talk about this or him or anything associated--Just shut up. What the hell is wrong with you!? You think losing control of everything is some sort of blessing!? You’re--out of your mind! It’s not a blessing, it’s--it made you kill your own brother, how can you go around talking about it like it’s some amazing gift!? My entire family’s been torn apart by it! Explain how any of this has been for Juzo! Any of it! At all! Because all I see are your own selfish delusions meant to justify what you want for yourself!”

That’s the only way someone could betray and hurt their brother in the way Loic watched and could read through the chat logs. That’s the only possible, conceivable way; if nothing had ever been for Juzo and had all been a machination in what Jinpachi wanted for himself.

[semischarmed]

“Ben”

I was out on a socially distant walk by the woods when I notice a fire dance across the night sky and into the woods. Against my better judgement, I decide to investigate.

A small glowing silver ball sat among the forest wreckage. I reach out, almost by trance, and immediately feel a spark course through me on contact. In the process, my clothing ignites in brilliant green flame. Then, I feel a presence. Immediately, I turn around, still holding the orb. Amidst the green flame was a puddle of metallic gray slime. It vibrates before sending out a little slimy limb which slowly rocks side to side, as if to examine me, before jumping for my face.

For once in my life, I react quickly enough and instead catch the thing in my hand. It was slick, and unbelievably cold. The mass begins to glow dimly, as I hold it out in front of me. I stare at it expectantly as it again forms a tiny limb, re-examining me. In a flash of green, the little wad of silver goo transforms into what appeared to be a tiny silver human. No, human’s not quite the right word. It was humanoid, sure, but the proportions were all wrong, almost cartoon-like. It had a larger more bulbous head with large reflective eyes and a small, near indiscernible mouth. The hands were larger as well, while the arms and legs were far thinner. Despite strange the sight before me, I sense no ill intent. Its beady little black eyes watch at me, displaying not only life, but intelligence. Words cannot explain how I knew, nor can it explain why I ask my next question out loud in a language it certainly did not understand. “What are you”?

Its eyes begin to glow as it opens its mouth to speak, “Human...” it states in plain english. I jump back, almost dropping the thing out of my hand before catching it. “Thank you. I have chosen a form and language most suitable to your own. I am weak from my crash and from your atmosphere. You are not afraid or angry?” It takes its little arm and gently strokes my skin. “Your body appears to be incompatible with my physiology... perhaps due to your contact with my craft. As I understand it, your species is incredibly hostile. If you are intending on destroying me, my only wish is for a swift and painless death.”

I stood dumbfounded until I realized the small orb-egg-thing he came in was some kind of craft. “uh... this yours?”

“You seem unafraid of my presence and do not appear to intend to destroy me, despite these circumstances. Perhaps my information is incorrect? Has your planet had contact with other such beings previously?” it asked. “No.. uh, I can’t explain it but you don’t really seem like a bad-“

“-Guy” it corrected me. “My closest equivalent to your species is what you would classify a male. You appear shocked. Are you alright?”

Holy shit an actual, real-life alien! And it speaks English! I screamed in my head. Despite the absurdity, I cannot help but respond plainly, “Oh, um, this planet has not had any contact before. At least not that I’d be aware of.”

“I see, you are a friend then. Thank you human, I am in debt to you” it states. Looking at the small humanoid before me, I cannot help but want to protect it. It obviously did not intend to do anything or it would have killed me by now. Still, I felt somewhat bad, he really did not seem like a bad guy and, from the movies, it never usually ends well for the alien.

“You came in a big crash, right? So the government or whatever is probably looking for you. We should probably find a safe place for you, um... what can I call you, anyway?” I ask. It looks at me in silence again, then flashes an impossibly bright, green light from its hands before pondering for a moment, and stating “You have not lied. Thank you for your sincerity and your support. I may be called Ben.”

“Ben?” I can’t help but chuckle a little. “You travel all the way across the universe and you’re just plain old Ben?” Its formed its own little smile, which I find endearing. “My true name is—“ the rest was unintelligible. “Ben it is!” I laugh, “Look, we need to get you out of here. I’ve seen what they do to aliens in the movies.” Ben produces a small oddly heavy rock. “Understood. Please. Drop this into my crash site. It should cover our traces” it states in a weak smile before falling over momentarily. I oblige.

“Cool, cool. So...um.. what now? Also, are you alright?” I ask.

“Your planet... It is poison to my form. I am moments away from death. I need a genetic input to adapt to this atmosphere. I would feel safest inside a human.” Inside?

“Well.. uh... i dont really have much going on, on a friday night so...”

It smiles again. “I appreciate the gesture, friend, but as I have mentioned, our forms are incompatible. As such, I require a different vessel. Please select any of your choice.”

“You’re a little forward, buddy” I add playfully.

“Apologies human, your language is somewhat difficult to grasp. I appreciate any and all attempts at assistance”. The little silver alien in my hand sits down.

“Ok, let’s get you somewhere safe... Anyway I know just the guy....”

Fucking Austin. That smug tool was the my bully from way back when and was/is a massive jerk. He was also fucking hot and he knew it. I think he got off on it too- After years of torment, I couldn’t wait for this little alien to do whatever it needed to do inside him.

The walk back is embarrassing as my naked form scrambles in the dark, hoping to avoid any onlookers. Thankfully, it was the dead of night, and our neighborhood is fairly empty. I walk up to his garage, lit by a lone bulb, where he was presumably working on his car. Sweat and grime cover his torso. Of course, he strips to shirtless as soon as he notices me, offering me a tantalizing peek, like he always did when he brought a girl over. “Why are fucking naked you creep. The fuck you want, fag?” He sneers as his eyes immediately lock on to the small orb I am using to cover my junk.

“THIS!” I shout, extending out my other arm, holding little alien man. For a moment, nothing happens and he raises his eyebrows in amusement. It quickly shifts in shock when Ben springs to life, jumping onto Austin’s bare chest. The little silver man clings to his sweaty chest hairs, using them as leverage to scramble up Austin’s face.

“The fuck?!” He spat as he swats at the little alien. With a fervor, Ben dodges and continues inhumanly and follows with his quick dash, crawling up to Austin’s right nose. Austin attempts to get the little silver man off him but to no avail. Despite his shape, Ben is incredibly slippery, and Austin’s thick fingers cannot get a good grasp.

Austin screams as Ben has lodged himself inside Austin’s right nose, secreting a silvery slime while he burrows ever deeper into him. Austin’s eyes shut tight and his mouth opens in anguish. “FUCK!” he shouts as he tries to pull my friend’s tiny legs out. Ben is victorious in this struggle and Austin’s fingers again slip. “AHRRG” He shouts, while right side of his face crinkles in pain. I watch in amusement as Austin is reduced to small, rhythmic grunts. “....Fu-...Fu-... FF....hu...hu”. I no longer see any semblance of my alien friend so he must have crawled deep, deep inside of Austin.

Stillness washes over Austin before he starts again, mumbling slowly. “S-stop.... get out” he repeats, as his body starts swaying back and forth and his head bobs forwards and backwards. His eyes roll to the back of his head in delirium. Abruptly, he screams “GET THE FUCK OUT” in an angry growl and one eye rolls back go lock on to me. “YOU!” He shouts. Before he can move any closer, the veins in his body flare to life and I notice they start writhing, throbbing, coursing with some silvery liquid before returning to normal. Austin’s face quickly goes from anger into unconscious stupor as a line of silvery drool escapes his mouth and his entire body begins trembling. He slumps foward and then falls. I run forward and struggle to try to hoist the massive pile of quivering meat up. Still, he topples over, falling right on top, crushing and pinning me beneath the weight of his muscled form.

Despite the situation, I am completely entranced. I can barely breath from the weight of Austin on top, only managing steady, shallow breaths. He continues convulsing, causing the day’s worth of grime and sweat to smear onto me. Hot. Just feeling him like this, feeling his skin meet and rub across mine, was turning me on. This was physically the closest I have ever been to this man. His convulsions slowly die down, until he is just sleeping on top of me, pinning me to his dirty garage floor. I remark him, the breathing in his shallow breaths, the heat from his previous struggle, his salty, putrid sweat that now caked both of us. I was taking in all the Austin that I had previously only dreamt of having.

His gentle sleep is broken when his eyes shoot wide open. They’re incredibly wide, dilated, glassy. Silver tears escape their corners. His lips curl into an open mouth, breathy smile, and he motions to speak “..... ahhhhhhh” he states moving the muscles on his face and vocal cords as if for the first time. Despite the absurdity of the situation, I could clearly tell what was happening. Enough movies and TV and wishful dreams to more or less grasp what had just occured. The man before me was not Austin-at least, not the Austin I knew. This was all Ben.

“Sorr-“ he murmurs, as he pushes himself and his weight off me. He watches himself, first moving his digits one at a time, while he examines how muscle and sinew stretch and contract to accommodate his commands. He gently rubs his hands together, as if to wash them, remarking on every feeling. With these gentle fingers, he traces over his left bicep, following it’s curves and valleys, as if he had sculpted them himself. He tugs a little at strands of his armpit hair, remarking on the new texture, before sniffing the droplets of sweat that had clung to his fingers and making a sour face. “You humans are so fascinating. It’s like this body is constantly producing its own serum. what a wasteful process. Such a high temperature as well... your are.. inefficient models.” He licks his right bicep like a cat, which causes a stirring in my pants. “Still, these byproducts of your living... they are quite delicious”.

Austin’s tour then follows his chest. “I see you are bound to your forms, with no ability to shift”.’ He cups his left nipple, remarking at the musculature within. “Hmm... that description is inaccurate...You appear to be somewhat capable of physical change, though not as drastically as my species.” He twirls a finger around his left nipple, smiling slightly at the stimulation. “Oh...though your species has a far heightened pleasure ceiling. This is...” He trails as he repeats the maneuver with his right nipple and stifles a moan. I stand, awestruck and slightly horny at the sight of my former bully pleasuring himself. He continues, taking his hands further down and feeling each ab before he stops at his pants. Austin pauses, curious, raising his head as if to scan his own brain for information, before flatly stating his catchphrase “Bet you’d like to suck this fat cock, wouldn’t you?” He spat to the side before immediately resuming his former tone, “Apologies, human emotions are... difficult to reign in. This vessel is responding to my intrusion unpredictably...“ He then wears Austin’s personality again. “But anyway thanks bitch, for giving me this hot, hot, jock cock. Time for me to pay up. I got cash... booze... weed... other shit” he winks. “So what’ll it be?”

In the heat of the moment, I could only reply back what I wanted. What I’ve always wanted. “Let me suck your fat cock” I reply automatically.

The mood shifts immediately and Austin’s face is perplexed. “This function you are requesting, it does not lead to procreation. It lacks any of your societal benefit...What good does it do you?” I decide to push a little further than I normally would have. “Let me show you” I state, giving him a wink. I strip Austin down and gently grab his thick cock, relishing in the moment. It flares to life, slowly hardening, increasing in size. I clasp my hand a little tighter around the rod start with slow, rhythmic strokes. Of course, I look to the face Ben was wearing for any cues, but it remains emotionless. I start to pull away before Ben finally speaks up “I see... benefit. Please, continue demonstrating”. Fuck. After all these years. All his teasing, he was finally here and he was finally mine.

“My body appears to recall this... this behavior is consiered gay, yes”

“Fuck yeah it is....”

“My body... these memories I have commandeered indicate this is something Austin is neither familiar nor entranced with. I will try to apply its equivalent knowledge accordingly” he stated flatly, somewhat confused at the situation. “Apologies... as I have mentioned, your language is a little complex.” I ignore him and continue.

“I personally.. to find this behaviour... hmmm.... acceptable...but.. he.. appears to.. I... Hmmm.... Fuuuuck!” he screamed, as his body abruptly leaned forward. His emotionless face begins to dance with a wellspring of feeling. It cringes first, then flashes into one of bliss, then pain, anger, intimidation, until settles into sneer. Mine of course flashes imminent doom. Oh Shit.

“Uh.. little buddy? You there?” I ask nervously. He grabs me, dragging my face near his. I am prepared for the worst.

“You know, he really fucking hates this. I can feel him resisting... Fuck you!” He spits. I still cannot tell who is who, until he clarifies. “Austin must really, really hate you.... but I dont” He leaned his face further in, giving me little chance to react before he jams a thick slimy tongue into my mouth. When he pulls back, his face then showed an odd emotion-cute, even. He was looking for approval. I, turned on by the past events, quietly nod in shock. Emotion immediately shifts back. “Come here, bitch!” he screams, pulling me back to him, bringing our faces close together while he hocks a wad of Austin’s spit at me. That part, I was familiar with and I instantly wince, expecting the normal pummeling I’d get. Instead, he sticks his hand down to scoop some of cum he had just released and aggressively smearing it all over my face and running Austin’s seed through my hair. “You’re mine forever, you get that right? Fuckin twerp. You fucking want this, right?” Austin stated with a sneer. He jams his tongue into my mouth again for another sloppy kiss and I explode cum in my underwear. Goddamn this was hot. Fuck. All those years of torture and in the end, here he was, seeking my approval, seeking to be mine. The sneer plastered on his face shifts immediately to one of concern and validation-seeking.

“Are you alright, friend? I apologize for the scare, I was attempting to follow-“

“No, no, no...” I mumble in heat. “Turn... FUCK...turn whatever the fuck that was back on. This is, god, this is everything.”

My little buddy complies, rolling Austin’s head and eyes back before immediately shifting his face back to his trademark sneer and giving my face a sloppy lick. “Bro, this body fucking hates you. You know? Feelings are created by brain and all that shit, like damn... all I wanna do inside this hunk of flesh is give you the pummeling you fucking deserve.” he states menacingly, before giving my face another lick. “But dont worry I fucking love you, bro. Look at me when I’m fucking talking. I am Austin. New and improved. Maybe this was what I was missing in my home-world. Maybe your degenercy has tainted me. Maybe this vessel has. To be honest, we don’t really give a fuck. Well, he does but I speak for us both now. This little... experience...has been a delight and a revelation. According to this meatbag’s brain ‘you’re gay as shit’ so, help me to help you. Austin’s gay as shit now too. For you at least. Help your daddy Austin betray his species find me some more of these kinds of males. Whichever you like. I’ll make our wildest dreams come true.” He comes in for another sloppy kiss, and sticks his muscular hand down my pants, corralling my seed and scooping out it out moments later. It is slick with my cum. “Hahaha this body finds this act so revolting. According to his memories, he finds you utterly disgusting. Well... I’m into it, let’s stick some of you inside Dear old Austin. I’ll stuff your cum so deep in him, he’ll never get it out. Our boy is quite the fighter too, he’s resisting me, even now”. Austin regains momentary control. “NO FUCKING WAY” His arm struggles and shakes as it brings the cum-covered hand to his mouth. In the end, Ben is successful and Austin has no choice but to jam the slimy hand to his mouth, slurping each digit individually, caking his insides with me. “Mmmmm but you taste so fucking good...bro... well to me at least. This body physically hates this. Too bad our little Austin isn’t in control right now. And when I’m done with him, he’ll come back wanting more”. He repeats the gesture with his other hand, and cracks his neck, piloting Austin far more naturally. “As long as we keep him well-fed, I can continue to pilot this hot piece of ass without resistance. We will transcend this meat-suit. With me running the show from this fucking hot bod, and you at our side, we will be unstoppable.” He states in deranged glee. I worry slightly until Austin’s persona flips to Ben’s normal formal tone. “Ah, apologies, as you know, this body thinks very highly of himself” he states with a slight chuckle ”but no worries... no more outbursts.”

“Some more information about myself, while I make some rearrangements to this body’s brain. My species has the ability to commandeer others into vessels, though I believe this is a byproduct of our formless nature more than our intended purpose.  You see, home-world has isolationist tendencies. We keep to ourselves. I am somewhat aberrant in this matter. We are powered by genetic diversity, yet they choose to remain within the one world when there is a whole universe outside of home to explore. I am different. I want it all, I want to see, hear, feel, experience what this wonderful universe has to offer. For that, I was cast away, to travel this lone plane with my craft. This life is a quiet one, so I am fortunate to have met you.” He strokes my cheek lovingly with Austin’s hands. I initially wince out of habit, but he seems to have understood. “Thank you, for everything,” Ben says sincerely with a kind smile. I beam back but immediately blurt out what had been on my mind throughout his whole monologue “why me though?”

“As you know, each human’s genetic output is a mix of information.”

“Uh huh” I trail, struggling to follow along.

“Well, your specific combination produces a nectar to our species which we would find intoxicating. Perhaps it had been slightly altered by my crash.”  Ben stares at me with Austin’s eyes, relaying an intelligence that my former bully had never previously had. “Beyond that, in my eons of travel, I have never met a more kind or accommodating individual”

“I like your genetic material, your signature, your blend...it is... hmmm...there is no equivalent phrase for this- at least within your capacity of emotion- but make no mistake, it’s delicious and I would like some more.” His demeanor shifts. “Do you like Austin? Do you like me?” He asks in a playful tone as he circles Austin’s nipple with his finger. Austin then grabs my arms, rubbing them across his abs. “Yeah, this meatsuit is a fucking keeper, isn’t he? I can tell you love this bitch” He teases with Austin’s mannerisms. Ben has been getting really good at this, he’s practically imperceptible from Austin when he’s acting. I nod eagerly in approval, still feeling up my former tormentor as he stretches his arms and gives a yawn.

“Good, good. Well he’s all set. Let me just get our friend Austin prepped. I will to give him some autonomy but, given my penchant for your genetic information, you may see a slight adjustment to his personality.” He winks. “Please bring my pod over, I must conserve some energy, I believe to you humans to understand the equivalent to be hibernation.” I pull the pod up to Austin. “Lower bitch” he commands, grabbing my arms and pulling the pod to his dick. He strips Austin naked before wrapping Austin’s vascular hands over mine, moving them in a way that splits the pod open. He then uses Austins hands to slowly wrap my fingers around his dick. “Pump,” he commanded. I comply, masturbating his dick until it explodes a stream of silver all over the pod. The silver gel congeals into the pod and Austin’s body drops unconscious. I catch the pod and gently place it on his table.

I watch Austin expectantly. He wakes, showing me a look of confusion before sternly asking “the fuck are you looking at, fag?” He then sniffs the air, raising his thick biceps to quickly verify if the smell had been emanating from his armpits. He grimaces, “Goddamn I reek...Did you do this?” Eyes lock with mine as I see only fury blazing. His eyes go wide as his face displays the recollection of our nightly encounter. He quickly runs over, blocking any escape route out of his garage. “You bitch!” He shouts. Before I can react, Austin pushes me up to the wall, shouldering my body and neck and locking me and my airways in place. He raises a fist, and I flinch until... well... nothing. I watch his face, attempting to discern what had just occurred. He releases his grasp slightly, allowing me to finally catch my breath.

He was still furious. Unimaginably so, but I see it tinged with something else as well... shame? And I then notice another feeling, as I begin to feel his heartbeat and breathing quicken. It’s an emotion I have only been able to see in him once- only when Ben had been controlling him. It was lust. He again motions angrily to punch me with a muscular right hook, before stopping his own hand, mere inches from my face.

“I UGH...FUUUUCK....” he shouts, looking away seemingly angry at himself before he punches the wall beside me, leaving a dent. He looks back at me, motioning to give my cheek a tender stroke before he catches himself and shakes his head in anger. “That spiteful bitch! I dont know what little trick you pulled you little asshole, but... hmmmm” he moans, smelling the scent of my fear and desperation... ”man have you always smelled this good?” he mumbled quietly to himself. I decide to take a little risk with this opportunity “Yeah bro? I taste pretty good too,” I state seductively.

That seems to have set him off. He was still somewhat angry obviously, but the lust only seems to have only deepened and overtaken him. He rushes our bodies closer. Sweat drenched abs hover tantalizing close to my stomach, as his sculpted biceps and vascular forearms bound my cheeks. He leans in, inches from my face.

“You want this ass, right? I can be a fag too, only for you” he whispers, leaning even closer to me as I breath in my prior bully’s hot steamy breaths. I instantly go hard. He notices and proceeds by planting a slow, sloppy kiss on my lips. I have to admit, Austin was a great kisser, better than Ben even. Hungrily, Ravenously, his lips pry mine open as his thick tongue dances inside my mouth, greedily tasting me. I reciprocate. In turn, he hugs our bodies together, and I feel his large form encapsulate my own with a warmth and an odd tenderness that I had never even fathomed him capable of generating.

He pulls back, breaking me out of my trance. “But, can you put that little thing back in me... I... uh... together...we uh...look, I want him back. I need him back.“ He begs. “Something...missing inside me.... fill it”.

Goddamnit Ben. I gesture with my head to the motionless pod containing my friend while I chuckle to myself. “He’s sleeping”. Slight adjustment my ass.

He looks back at the pod, obviously disappointed. Then he looks at me, gaze softened, the facade from his usual persona all but broken, “Sorry, can’t help myself... well fuck it, I know you always wanted this anyway,” he mumbled as he nuzzled my neck and shoulder, taking in my essence in deep inhales. I feel myself blush as he continues and then does a quick survey of my body. “When he’s using me.. I can feel... I-I know he loves you... look, I know he wants more... but you fucking better- I’m gonna stay your fucking favorite right? You can use me too, or whatever. I can be your bitch. I can be whatever you want me to me... Just, keep me around, ok? And keep him inside me” I muse at how the old me would have killed to hear similar words from Austin, years ago.

He pauses for a moment, looking away in disgust at his own actions before yielding and scratching his head as he forces out his next words:

“look man... just... the thing that’s missing from me... well this is gonna be weird ask bro, but...can you cum in my mouth?”

—————

I’m a little bit shit with the titles but thats neither here nor there. Used some other similar stories I’ve read in the past for inspiration. Hope y’all like it. Next one’s probably gonna be a continuation on that Chrysalis one. What kind of possession stories are your favorite? 

[theodora3022]

Playing tricks with the trickster

Summary: Failed escape attempt from yandere Childe. He lets you play your cards, even playing along, just for his own amusement.

Notes: My first genshin piece yay... I had a sweet and terrible dream of me running from Childe in the woods. Also some inspiration was drawn from @cinnamonest‘s this post, one big virtual hug to her! I hope I did Childe justice, what can I say I love manipulative smiling boys. It has become a pattern as I dash from one fandom to another. This is had turned out to be longer then I expected...Ginger boy demands my time and energy too much omg. Mind the warnings, although there is nothing extreme in this.

Fun fact, I was looping to Nintendo game by Alessia Cara when writing this down. I believe it fits the theme of this fic quite well.

Tagging: @akutaguagua a great friend who patiently beta-read this mess of a horror dream and gave me lots of kind praises! 

(Offical art belongs to miHoYo! This is a cover page of this video, if there is any issues, contact me and I will remove it at once)

Warnings: Implied past abduction,dub-con touching, mild degradation, drugging(not on reader), implied non-con/dub-con at the end, this is not healthy love and I do not condone this irl.

It has been nearly a month since the youngest Fatui Harbinger had “taken you in”. After a few tries, you were too horrified by the punishments to continuously fight him. You learned on the first day that Childe’s smiling, the friendly mask would come off towards you. Your behaviour would decide if that is a curse or a “blessing”.

So you had quieted down, struggling to restrain yourself from yelling or screaming, carefully not to provoke his anger. Despite being compliant to his orders, you never truly showed him any affection either. Sure, you would sit on his lap if he asked, but you never initiated anything intimate with him. No matter how much Tartaglia spoiled you with clothes, books, jewelry or other luxuries, he is still the one who holds the commanding end of your shackles. It’s the best not to get used to all of that when your sight is set on the door.

Although he has taken your freedom away, you are not kept in a windowless room. On the contrary, you have too many outings now. Wherever he goes, you have to be present in a 2m radius, including meetings. Being a Harbinger is no easy job, so he prefers not having to worry about your safetly during buisness hours. The best way to do that is never let you out of his sight.

“Love, no one should witness our little problems. Well, no one alive that is.” Of course you wouldn’t want to put innocent people's lives at stake. You never dared to act out when you two are in public, and no one would bat an eye if a Fatui had taken a lover. 

You had taken an emotionless approach towards him. If Childe wants a kiss on the cheek, you’ll give him a quick light peck. If he wants breakfast, you’ll go make some pancakes with the topping he likes. Luckily, Childe had not done anything too extreme yet. If cuddling to sleep does not count as extreme that is. The only time you slipped up is when he suddenly hugs you from behind when you’re cooking.  

You thought maybe, just maybe, by being as boring and dull as you could, this bastard might just get tired of you and let you go. Childe only loves the fun of it right? Or maybe it could lower his guard.

Oh, how naive you are. You should have known better than to underestimate a Fatui harbinger. See, this is exactly why he needs to keep you around. Yes, unfortunately for you, Childe loves you, so very much. Speaking to him with a monotone voice isn’t going to alter that fact.

You have been devoid of emotions as of late. While Childe does appreciate fewer screams for the sake of his eardrums, this schemer can sense you are up to something. Perhaps this is the peace before your “storm”(he thought of it more like a drizzle)

You want to play a game? Okay, why not? Childe cannot wait to see what tricks you got on those sleeves. Are you ever getting away? Does an amateur ever win when they play a game with a professional trickster? Never.

Still, nothing bites like a cornered rat. You are no airhead, and he is fully aware of that. Just not as cunning and observent as him, that’s all.

The way you just kept your emotions sealed up is impressive, even to someone like him. Even when he got hansy, you did not flinch and just stared at the corner. Childe can only catch faint glimpses of anger when you thought he wasn’t looking.

Hm, when are you pulling your trigger? Tonight, or tomorrow night? Not that Childe is impatient, anything from you is worth waiting. But he would need to dismiss his patrolling underlings in the nearby woods beforehand. No extras would be allowed to disturb this game.

There is no chance during the day, a somewhat mutual understanding for you two. Night time in comparison, is a different story. 

Anyone’s sleeping hours is their most vulnerable time of the day, Childe is no exception. You do not plan to harm him, not that you don’t want to. But you are willing to swallow the pent up frustration towards him if you would never see his face again after this. Maybe beating up some slimes would help with the release?

You somehow managed to slip a mixture of herbs into his tea. Since he would buy cooking ingredients for you from time to time, you had requested a bunch of herbs along with the ingredients of a sleep inducing medicine you remembered. Although Childe does all he can to keep you near him, there are inevitable hours that he needs to be somewhere without you. He cannot jeopardize your safety with troublesome monsters. On a side note, he loves showing you off to anyone, his colleagues, acquaintances, business partners, anyone he does not deem a threat.

Enough time for you to make those herbs into powder and cover it up with a few spoons of milk. Tea with milk has become quite popular in Liyue as of late. Childe has grown to love them, so you have learned how to mix it up. He always let you handle his food and drinks, saying that he “trusts you”. What you do not know is this is one of the openings he exposed on purpose. It’s not like you can aquire anything deadly under his suffocating supervision.

Your plan will work, or so you think. Childe will not wake up when you wiggle out of his grasp, because dreamland will keep him occupied. All you need is a glider and a usable sword from Liyue and you’ll get your life back. Bottling up extreme emotions has certainly taken a toll on your mind, but it will be worth it if that is the prerequisite of being free.

Something about this being so easy sits ill with you. Have you really been with the youngest Fatui Harbinger this whole time? But that was brushed off your shoulders by the sheer excitement of regaining your long lost freedom. You know Liyue is in walking distance, all you need to do is cross these woods and-

The moment you dive into the forest, you think you heard an amused chuckle. 

That smooth voice terrifies you to no end, the same voice you took orders from for the past month.

Oh, how Childe loves seeing you happy. It’s priceless, both literally and figuratively. No matter how many things he buys you, you had not shown him even one small smile. Enjoy your sweet freedom, because it ain’t going to last. You certainly will know your place after this right? If not you are just dumber then he give you credit for.

That glow of relief in your eyes is worth every last bit of this intense dizzying feeling to Childe. To make sure your plan go through, he had drunk the tea without hesitation, quick enough to catch the momentarily excitement you expressed. He knows the game is on, therefore he had given the night patrol guards the entire evening off. Forcing himself to stay concious by digging his nails into his palms, Childe followed you into the woods.

Your potion is quite strong. Excellent, you’ll have to give him the recipe for informational purposes later. Especially how you managed to achieve such effects with a few herbs you had. He never took you to be anything less than a smart girl, but this has exceeded his expectations. Where’s the fun in a game without challenges?

How you storm through the forest wearing that cute terrified expression looks so endearing, it’s surely not his fault if he wants to enjoy this sight to be longer right.

So, each time you feel the slightest at ease due to whatever reason, expect Childe to make some sound to send you running like your life depends on it again. The sadistic man is hunting you down playfully, like a cat chasing a stray mouse to the inevitable corner.

You know he is toying with you. There is nothing you can do to make him shut up though.

“Love, you had scratched your leg. Must hurts by the looks of it.”

“Liyue is that way, you know.”

“Are you tired? If you want to jog in the middle of the night, you should have called me to come along!”

How can he say those things nonchalantly while you are trying to escape from him?  Here he is, daunting you with that signature smile he wears so very often. That is when reality slaps you right in the face. No matter how hard you plan, no matter how fast you run, there is no getting rid of him.

When your stamina runs out, a simple pull and push on your left wrist is enough to let you fall onto the ground panting. Even now, you still refuse to beg for mercy. You would take the cold grounds to the warmth of Childe’s embrace anyday. 

“Aw, burnt out already? Pathetic. Looks like we need to work on your stamina more. But this is not the place for exercise.”

“Look at me.” His slender but forceful fingers tilt your head up, making you look into those ocean blue orbs. There is anger present in his eyes, but those emotions are more a mixture of delight and that. His smile had also been replaced by a mocking smirk. “You, trying to leave me? Your sense of humor is...well, let’s just call it unique. Lucky for you, you amused me nonetheless.”

“I know what you’re thinking. How I’m a selfish jerk and you hate me. Why be so ungrateful? You get to live in luxury thanks to me, you know. I am selfish, yes, but look how stupid you are. I know you added something extra in my evening tea, my beloved.”

“Come now, we are going to do some exercises suited for a night like this once we’re back home. It is our one month milestone, after all. You had already given me your gift, it is only fair for you that I do the same.”

Childe is not making a sarcastic remark. The thrill of that chase was the best fun he had in months. And you are going to love his gift too, maybe not right away, but surely sometimes after. 

You have to mentally prepare yourself for the worst as he dragged you back to the prison, hopefully you’ll still be able to walk properly after whatever Childe got in store.

[toastandjamie]

I have- so many feelings. I’ve been trying to write an analysis since last night but everything I wrote is incomprehensible so this is an attempt: advanced apologies. Originally I wanted to make a post about C!Quackity and C!Tommy’s relationship but then it got me thinking of talking about what makes Tommy so vulnerable to manipulation even incidentally which brought me to Wilbur and Techno. So I’ve decided to just make a mishmash comparing Tommy’s relationships to these three complicated people.

Starting with Quackity I think we can all agree, Quackity GETS Tommy. In a way others on the server(like Fundy or Foolish) just straight up don’t. Quackity treats Tommy a lot like he treats Slime, with this understanding that Tommy isn’t like everyone else and won’t respond to things like others would. Because Tommy in spite of everything really does act like a kid. He acts out because of boredom or frustration especially when he’s ignored. Often others get frustrated when dealing with Tommy, but Quackity has this odd level of patience different from say Sam, Puffy or even Foolish in that he puts himself at Tommy’s level. At the start I think this was just a genuine attempt at having fun with our chaos raccoon but at the moment it’s almost patronizing(a reoccurring theme). Quackity understands that pushing Tommy will only result in property damage, but he also knows that he can’t let him run around unsupervised(because property damage). When Quackity is unaware that Tommy is listening he sounds more than a little frustrated at his antics, but then Tommy throws on a pair of pants claiming to be called Trousers and insists that he is not in fact Tommyinnit. Quackity plays along, he doesn’t try and force Tommy to stop, he humors him. This is something Quackity does a lot with Tommy, and it’s why Tommy still seems to have positive feelings towards him. Quackity humors him the way adults will humor a child who’s insisting that they are a wizard. Through this lense(which I think Quackity is fully aware of) he’s able to get Tommy into a less aggressive state and get information out him. Like why he’s working with Wilbur, and Tommy’s feelings about it. Which also unfortunately makes him super easy to use. I think in the future as Quackity slowly succumbs to the inevitable power hungry corruption that’ll bury whatever soft spot he has for Tommy, we’ll see Quackity take advantage of Tommy’s blatant abandonment issues using the trust he’s built through these small appeasement based interactions.

Moving on; C!Wilbur Soot! This is a land mine let me tell you. Because Listen, Wilbur is obviously, severely traumatized and mentally ill. I don’t think Wilbur necessarily has any malicious intentions towards Tommy. But unfortunately this bad boy is backing a fuck load of unhealthy coping mechanisms and behaviors. Such as his possessive streak! We saw with L’manburg the whole “if I can’t have you no one can!” Mentality, which has now been transferred to Tommy. It’s a move to assert his control over a situation and unfortunately for Tommy he’s a prime vessel for this behavior because he has absolutely no concept of healthy boundaries! Since his backstory and relationships are a bit blurry we can’t make any definitive explanation for where this came from but for the sake of argument let’s say Tommy has known Wilbur since he was young, and Wilbur was always someone with a possessive personality(albeit less obvious due to the fact that he wasn’t traumatized yet). Being raised by or around someone who never sets boundaries with you can lead to a person growing up not able to do so themselves. And wouldn’t you know it Tommy has clearly never had a stable healthy relationship because all of them have been transactional or codependent. Which is, bad.(shout out to Tubbo and Ranboo though for trying to enforce healthy boundaries sadly though the timing of this separation couldn’t have been worse). Currently I think it’s safe to say Wilbur and Tommy have a codependent relationship. One with a very clear imbalance of power, comparable to a codependent parent-child relationship. In which Tommy excuses Wilbur’s bad behaviors out of a sense of responsibility, this feeling that because they’re “family” he owes it to Wilbur to stay by his side. Not to mention how Tommy obviously craves guidance and leadership from paternal/fraternal figures, which he originally found in Wilbur(later in Dream, Techno and Sam afterwards). Tommy very clearly desires a family structure in which he is loved and protected no matter what, and Wilbur fills that role easily and willingly. Wilbur wants someone who’ll be loyal to him and will never leave or betray him, and Tommy wants someone who’ll protect and care for and, say it with me boys, will never leave or betray him. There isn’t anything wrong with wanting someone to be there for you, but because of their complexes and traumas these feelings of fraternal affection are twisted into a relationship lacking boundaries and for Tommy, complete absence of autonomy. Only doing things because Wilbur wants him to me, because he wants Wilbur to be happy and Wilbur is never wrong. Not a good mindset to have when dealing with someone like Wilbur who is destructive as a means of coping.

Lastly another landmine, in the form of Technoblade! Ah yes, bedrock bros. We love them and miss them. But newsflash guys they ALSO had an unhealthy transactional relationship! But here’s the thing about unhealthy relationships, sometimes people are just not good for eachother. There’s no bad guy or good guy. No ones in the right or wrong. They just, weren’t good for eachother. Now whether this was situational or not can only be answered if they reconnect with healthier mindsets but for now we’ll say it’s situational. Obviously, Tommy was clearly in a bad place. Just barely managing to escape exile after a narrowly thwarted suicide attempt: now packing a whole slew of issues, from paranoia, depression, fear of abandonment, low self worth, and just general debilitating stress. Techno was ALSO in a bad place, he just hides it under a sense of self righteous justice: like guys, his only friend was put under house arrest because of him associating with him, and he was then executed under the threat of death of his faithful horse companion. Techno was angry and blinded by revenge. A bad mix when you toss in a traumatized codependent teenager desperately searching for someone to fill the empty void of fraternal leadership left by Wilbur’s death. Tommy really just wants someone to tell him what to do, like let’s not kid ourselves here. Techno offered Tommy protection from Dream, which yay! But also creates an unbalanced power dynamic(bringing that one back!). I genuinely believe that it wasn’t Techno’s intention, but the thing is, the relationship became transactional: a “I’ll protect you and take care of you if you do what I say and help me.” Type scenario. It was impossible for Tommy to really comfortably say no, at risk of being tossed out of straight up given to Dream to face whatever horrible consequences running away had. BESIDES that, they are just two very different people who had very different priorities. Techno wanted vengeance against L’manburg, Tommy wanted to be protected but always had the intention of returning to L’manburg one day(clearly believing getting the discs would be a catch all problem solver). These two priorities are in direct conflict with eachother; as a result they’re partnership would never have worked in the long term. Here’s the kicker to what makes this relationship so unhealthy though, because those things in isolation don’t make an unhealthy relationship but the fact that Tommy’s poor mental state fueled by Techno’s blood seeking revenge made him act in ways HE deemed wrong, makes it unhealthy. Tommy wasn’t lying, being with Techno made him become a person he didn’t want to be, and it’s NOT Techno’s fault. It was the unfortunate consequence of their opposing view points and unhealthy mental states. Perhaps in a world where the Butcher Army never existed the Bedrock Bro’s team up could have been a moment of healing for both characters; but alas that was not the world we are privy to in canon.

Yeah so that’s it for now I guess

[raining-candystims]

HELLO EVERYONE!! WELCOME TO MY PINNED POST!!

hi!! im ame (: im the host of an osdd system called the sizzlin system! i use sci/he/🥝 pronouns. ive found a big interest in stimboards so ive decided to make an account for them!!!

RULES

🙏RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES!!! i have full right to decline doing certain stims, certain characters, or certain sources! i am a person too!

🙏BE DESCRIPTIVE!!! if its based off a certain character, tell me their name and source!! if you want specific colours, tell me them!! "green" or "blue" could work but hexcodes could work just as well!!! if you want certain stims (ex. slime, paint mixing, paws) list them!!! if theres certain things you absolutely DO NOT want tell me those too!!!!

🙏UNDERSTAND THAT I MIGHT NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOUR REQUEST!!! if you request a video game i dont know, a character ive never seen, or anything of that sort, i wont know it all that well!!!! i might not know things that relate to that character or source!!! this is why sharing the stims/colours n stuff you want is important!

🙏DON'T BE SHY!!! im open to any requests as long as they respect my boundaries!!! there's no media too "cringe", no character too "stupid", everyones a little cringy and thats okay!

🙏BE PATIENT!!! these can take a while sometimes!!!!! ill get them done as soon as i can but i have a personal life outside of this =<:)

🙏YOU CAN SUBMIT AS MANY REQUESTS AS YOU WANT!!! keep in mind the last rule though!!! and if theres other people waiting ill probably do a different person in between your requests!

SUBMISSIONS

make sure to include all that applies in your requests!!!

🙏CHARACTER YOU WANT

🙏SOURCE THEY'RE FROM/SOURCE YOU WANT

🙏COLOURS YOU WANT

🙏STIMS YOU WANT

🙏STIMS YOU DO NOT WANT

BOUNDARIES

SOURCES I WILL NOT DO

🙏DREAM SMP

🙏TOILET-BOUND HANAKO-KUN

🙏ENSEMBLE STARS

🙏GENSHIN IMPACT

🙏REAL PEOPLE

🙏OMORI

🙏 ANY SORT OF MEDICAL DRAMA

🙏⚠️THE MANDELA CATALOGUE⚠️ (IT IS A TRIGGER)

CHARACTERS I WILL NOT DO

🙏ULTIMATE!DIRK (HOMESTUCK)

🙏BRO STRIDER (HOMESTUCK)

🙏MIU IRUMA (DANGANRONPA)

🙏MIKAN TSUMIKI (DANGANRONPA)

🙏HIYOKO SAIONJI (DANGANRONPA)

🙏HAJIME HINATA (DANGANRONPA)

🙏WHATEVER THE DARK EDGY VERSION OF HAJIME IS I FORGOT HIS NAME

🙏NAGITO KOMAEDA (DANGANRONPA)

🙏KOKICHI OUMA (DANGANRONPA)

STIMS I WILL NOT DO

🙏ANYTHING WITH SHARP OBJECTS

🙏ANYTHING NSFW

🙏PACIFER STIMS

🙏DESTROYING HONEYCOMB (EX. SCOOPING THE HONEY OUT OF THEM WITH A SPOON)

EXTRA STUFF

you can submit your own pictures for the center image!!! this especially applies to fictives, irls, and introjects! you can show a picture of what you look like!!

on that topic, please let me know if you want me to tag that youre a fictive or anything so doubles dont reblog saying "me" or anything!!

headcanons of characters or genderswapped versions of characters are totally fine!! say, june egbert, john egbert, and joan egbert are all characters i will do!!! just specify your headcanons/canon in your request!!

you can request ships!!! just know that i will deny any ships that make me uncomfortable!!

i can do pride themed stimboards!!!! just specify the sexuality or gender you want!!! this works for specific characters or just pride stimboards in general!!

i do not tag EVERY SINGLE irl or fictive, i only tag them when the person doesn't want doubles to interact. i personally have a god awful amount of irls and putting every single one on posts would be insane

THANK YOU FOR READING THROUGH THE WHOLE POST!!!

[ludwigfootfan]

homeboy has so far mimed blowing on a 'sloppy dick' and the only visible part of him has been PIT. im eating so well.

[therosefrontier]

Whumptober Day 3

No. 3 - STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT…

taunting | insults | “Who did this to you?”

+++

Genshin Impact | Bennett, Fischl, Oz, and those other adventurers we know and love

(crossposted to AO3)

+++

“I didn’t ask for your help, Bennett! You only make everything worse!”

“I-I’m sorry, I just thought—”

“And now I have a chipped sword! Ugh, what am I going to do? I don’t have the mora or the ore to spare for a new one!”

“Y-yeah, but…”

Bennett wanted to point out to Royce that his sword was tarnished-looking and even had rust on it, so it probably was already in need of repair—this is why his dads always told him to take good care of his weapons!—but he didn’t really feel like he could. Because, it probably was his fault, still. All he wanted was to help, but…

“Oh, that was terrifying!” Pallad shook his head gravely, releasing a long breath. “All those Hilichurl reinforcements kept showing up, and then Bennett showed up, and then the pyro slime barrels all exploded, all at once. B-But not to worry, just another day of epic adventuring for me! Nothing to fear!”

“Yeah.” Royce huffed, his anger still very apparent. “Good thing those slime barrels didn’t kill us all.”

“I…didn’t set them off, though…” Bennett mumbled awkwardly. Pallad was the one who accidentally fired the arrow that hit them, not that Bennett was mad at Pallad or anything. Mistakes like that happened all the time! Plus, mistakes did happen a lot around Bennett specifically…

Bennett sighed heavily. He really only meant to help. He saw Royce and Pallad fighting Hilichurls together, and they looked like they were really struggling and could be in danger, so Bennett came in to help fight and also heal them up a little with his Vision, and they did drive off the Hilichurls, but…not without a few hiccups along the way. Like the barrels and Royce’s sword. And the additional wave of reinforcements. Maybe the Hilichurls just really liked this camp?

“But these things keep happening when you’re around! Why can’t you realize that? We would have been better off without you!”

“But, you looked like you needed help and—!”

“No, Bennett, just…just go, okay?” Royce let out a tense exhale, looking very stressed. He looked that way a lot when Bennett was around. “I’m not mad, I promise. Just…do everyone a favor and keep your adventures solo, okay?”

“O-Okay.” Bennett felt himself flinch, just a little. He…never said it quite like that, before. Maybe it was just that the more encounters they had, the more honest Royce got. Royce, and Heckler, and Jack…

“They’ll be back! They’re just…on leave,” he pleaded to Katheryne once, desperate to not have the face the finality of losing his team’s registration with the guild. He was so excited when he finally got people to agree to being on a team with him—he was so sure that they would all be great friends, and that they would go on many epic adventures together just like his dads did when they were young. Adventuring was his passion, and he couldn’t wait to get started for real! But then…well…it didn’t work out quite like he hoped.

It really stung, hearing Royce say it like that. Should he really just do as he said and stop…bothering everyone so much…?

“My ear harkens to the sound of mortal cries! What ill fate hath befallen thee?”

“F-Fischl!” Bennett was very surprised to turn around and see Fischl and Oz coming into view over the top of a hill and down into their camp, the Prinzessin der Verurteilung’s entrance as cool and grand as ever. Walking up to them, there was something about her expression that looked kind of intense, though. Bennett wasn’t really sure why; all of the Hilichurls were gone now, right?

“Oh, Fischl. What are you doing here?” Royce sounded very tired and still kind of annoyed.

“I heard from afar the expressions of woe and stress! Might I add, even the throbbing binds of a dark fury? It is of no mere happenstance that I, the Prinzessin der Verurteilung, should come down upon you at such an hour, that I may ask, why such stress, when the intensity of danger is clearly past, and why do you say words of fury, when whatever physical ailments you have are clearly of little consequence to one of the warrior’s creed?”

Royce sighed in exasperation. “I don’t have time for this…” he mumbled.

“O-Oh! Everything’s fine!” Bennett assured, getting what she was saying…maybe. (Fischl was really smart and also from other world, so she talked in complicated words a lot). “We just…had a little bit of trouble with some Hilichurls, that’s all! And we were…talking about what went wrong!”

“Yes, yes, what he said, there’s nothing going on, the Hilichurls are gone now.” Royce waved her off.

“Is that so? Then pray tell, why, if there is no danger, that distress still binds you so much that you would speak such ill of your comrades!”

“H-Huh?”

“What the Prinzessin means is, your words seem to be unfounded, judging from the…tone of your voice,” Oz translated. “Not to say that we were making any attempts to secretly listen to what was being said, of course.”

“I really have no idea what you’re talking about,” Royce groaned. “Just, please go back to whatever you were—”

“I was on a mission of dire importance, and I require that Bennett be my aide! Come, Bennett, there is a destination we must hasten to!”

“What?” Bennett was confused.

“Oh, why didn’t you say so?” Pallad laughed. “He’s all yours! Come on Royce, let’s head back to the city to turn in this commission!”

Fischl took Bennett by the hand and led him out, and Bennett hurried his step to catch up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked after they were a little ways away and Fischl stopped walking. “Where’s the danger?”

Fischl paused a second, turning back to look at him, as if considering what to say… “Are you hurt?”

Bennett’s eyes widened in a bit of surprise, partially because she said the question in so few words. Was that what this was about? But, he wasn’t even bleeding! “Oh! Uh, no, not really! Just a few knicks and bruises here and there, nothing I can’t handle!”

Fischl shook her head, clearing her throat. “Ahem, no, I do understand that your constitution is not the aspect at risk of failing you; what ailment I was referring to runs greater than bone or marrow, but rather, to the soul itself, the deepest recesses of your mind and heart. This, my fellow seeker of the unknown, is what mine eye hath perceived to be carrying the deepest of wounds.”

Bennett took a second trying to get what she was saying…and then turned to Oz for help.

“What she means—as well as myself—is…Bennett, we overheard some of what your…friend…said, and we wanted to know if you were alright. Because of his words, that is.”

“Oh…OH!” Bennett got it now. But… “I-It’s okay, he didn’t really mean it as bad as it probably sounded, just…um…” He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t want them to get mad at Royce for his sake, or anything. “Y-You know what they say! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me! Right?”

That was how it went…right?

Bennett was used to pain—of every kind, really. It wasn’t a big deal.

“No!” Fischl was adamant, surprising him even further with the fierceness of her gaze. “I refuse to accept such a…a…a degradation of yourself!” She thrust out her arm to point at his heart, her other hand on her hip. “Your ill fate has nothing to do with yourself! Even if some grievous error was made that was your own folly, it would be no cause for allowing yourself to be cast to the side to descend into the vile throes of darkness!”

For a few long seconds, Bennett was dumbfounded and speechless. He really didn’t know what to say, he…he felt awkward, because he didn’t want anyone to worry about him or feel bad for him, but…it also…felt good, that she cared? “You…really think that?”

Fischl cleared her throat again. “Mm, yes indeed…I…simply cannot allow any member of my retinue to be considered in such a way. You should not…be condemned to be alone for the cause of the curse on you.”

“Ah, i-it’s okay!” Bennett assured with a wide smile. “I’m not alone entirely, even without my team! Not anymore, anyways! Me and Traveler have gone on a few adventures, and, um…I have my dads, and…I have you!”

They were in different sectors of the guild, him and Fischl, what with Fischl being an investigator and all. She was really good at remembering details, and not getting lost. Bennett knew his way around and remembered lots of survival skills, but he wasn’t as smart as she was. He was best at mainly just going in and fighting stuff while exploring. But, they did get to work together sometimes! And those times were always nice.

“Well then, let us embark on this next mission together, as you have been thusly requested.”

“Really?” Bennett asked. “You weren’t just making something up?”

“Never in the death of a thousand suns!” Fischl refuted emphatically. “My pledge is my sacred word, and yes, I believe that your assistance would be much needed indeed!”

[jay-jay-the-simp]

New Genshin OC voice-lines

Genshin voicelines

Name: Phoenix [REDACTED] - Prideful Sin

Origin: Another world (Earth)  

Affiliations: Knight of Favonius

Power: Miasma emission/Teleportation

Weapon: Claymore

Star name: Sabik Orion (Not real)

Birth day: 30/11

-Elemental Skill (Oźy Pit: Acidic Feeling): Because I’m not smart in writing, Phoenix basically just makes orange/Purple acid appear from the ground, and infused with Dendro will cause “Burn”.

-Elemental Burst (Scarlet’s Will: A’tellifs Silence): Again, I’m not smart so what happens is that Phoenix will make a circle under the target, which will turn into a portal, making other portal inside the circle, teleporting the target everywhere whilst Phoenix teleports along with it and attacks it.

Role: Main DPS

Good: CRIT DMG, CRIT RATE, ATK, Movement SPD

Decent: CD,

Bad: DEF, HP, ER, EM

Constellations:

• Tint of Evil: Increases Oźy Pit: Acidic Feeling by 10%

• Brooding Silence: Every time teammate dies, Oźy Pit: Acidic Feeling will decrease by 30%

• Red Illness: Scarlets Will: A’tellifs Silence increases by 20%, but decreases 500 health every second.

• Lizards Wrath: Oźy Pit: Acidic Feeling Will increases by 10s.

• A’tellifs Ring: Scarlets Will: A’tellifs Silence becomes more powerful with Dendro bursts.

• Kings Cruelty: Any other character gets they’re healthy decreases so Phoenix’s health will increase.

———————————————————————————————————————

-Hello: Heya! I’m Phoenix and I am also from another world it’s nice to meet you!

-Good Morning: *Yawns* Good Morning Albe- Oh, it’s you, sorry thought you were someone else.

-Good afternoon: I’m starving! Let’s go before I start eating humans.

-Good evening: Can we have snack time? Please, please, please!

-Good night: Night time… It gives me memories of my home world, not good ones… But need’nt bother because I need to go to sleep and you do too, I’ll talk to you in the morning.

-When it rains: *Achoo* Even being the 6th son of one of the most powerful beings out there, my immune system is still so very weak, ugh…

-When is windy: Is Venti drunk again…?

-When there’s a thunderstorm: Is the Electro Archon mad at us or is Ei still gaining time to think about redemption.

-When it snows: As a person born  and raised in a laboratory, snow isn’t very common, but I’ve been in DragonSpine way too many times to know what it looks like.

-Chat (divinity): I do indeed have god blood running through my veins, but that doesn’t mean I am god. My mother was human and my father, well, my father will never be one, so I’m more of a Demigod.

-Chat (divinity) ll: Being seen as a Divine Being by others isn’t much of a choice, unless of course, you want it to be. But I have never wanted to be known as the 6th “Scarlet Child” or “Pride”, it’s a bad title once you know who my father is or what it means.

-Chat the (Fatui): All I know is to kill them once they enter my prephiral vision. But I must say that they are very annoying.

-About Albedo: He’s the one who accidentally teleported me here and also the one who takes care of me, usually people think he’s my father, but honestly, he’s just my teacher. Unfortunately anything I do or say will get him in trouble, so I can’t ever leave anywhere without him.

-About Sucrose: She’s super nice but seems to analyze me a lot, she helps me with my homework and usually helps me when Albedo can’t. I guess I am a bit confused on why she wants to create a different world, although I know how to do it, it’s better if she didn’t, since it’d have to kill her in the process.

-About Kaeya: The most annoying and flirtatious guy I’ve ever seen, ugh, he sucks! Kaeya always makes me do HIS work and it’s so annoying! I swear to 343 I’m gonna kill him someday!

-About Diluc: Master Diluc? He’s okay I guess, I don’t really wanna intrude his personal space, but I am very curious on why he acts all sad…

-About Eula: She is one of the most amazing people in Teyvat! She’s good at basically everything and she’s very nice! She dances ballet with me and teaches me how to use the Claymore! I don’t get why people don’t like her, probably jealousy.

-About Jean and Barbara: They are super nice! Although I haven’t “formally” met Jean before, I can tell she’s a very hardworking person! Barbara is too, but I do feel bad that they’re always working and never resting…

-About Mona: An astrologist who couldn’t tell me anything about my family… Figured. But I honestly like her a lot for not taking the advantage of astrology and making money, even if she’s in need of it.

-About Venti: Barbatos! Such a responsible god to the point I need to drag him out of the tavern when he’s blackout drunk… Ugh, whatever.

-About Chongyun and Xingqiu: Chogyun is quite scared of me, this may be news to you but I wasn’t born human, in fact, I was born as a demon whose bigger than Azhdaha and Osial, this is only my 3rd human form, so of course my aura carries demon aura, Chongyun gets quite scared around me. Xingqiu on the other hand, he likes flirting with me since we’re both the same age, but it’s just friend flirting since we’re all only friends.

-About Xiao: He doesn’t trust me at all, but because of Aether and Ganyu, he can’t do anything. But in his eyes, I’m only a demon who needs to be executed, nothing else…

-About Ganyu: She’s pretty cool! But whenever I’m in Liyue, Ganyu starts taking care of me as if I’m her child, although it’s nice… I feel bad for taking up the time she could’ve used to rest….

-About Zhongli: Heh, names the worlds currency after himself, a bit cocky don’t you think? Honestly, he doesn’t do any effort to hide his identity.

-About Kazuha: Sometimes brings me along boat rides, sometimes doesn’t. Very kinds but so very serious. He’s a mix, but a good one. Sometimes he makes me wish I were 18, but I should stop fanboying before the wind tells him about this.

-About Sara: Dedicated to her job, independent, goes by the rules. A good person honestly.

-About Ei: An archon who wants, or wanted to keep her land equal as it always was. She doesn’t understand how humans work, but she’s getting the hang of it.

-About Ryuuko: A smart and funny person, she thinks that just because I’m shorter than her, she can pat my head! Scounderous! She’s just like Dr.Clef, ugh….

-About Phoenix l: I kind of rebelled against my father…. Not really since I do still destroy worlds and take Pride in genocide, but he thinks I’m in another world, so I’m basically lying to him about Teyvat’s existence.

-About Phoenix ll: People are always surprised when they see my real form, it’s as if I’m not the same demon, of course I am! This is my real personality.

-About Phoenix lII: I mock my siblings a lot without you even knowing! They can tell when they’re being mocked and it’s honestly so hilarious hearing them complain!

-Phoenix’s hobbies: Usually I just do Alchemy and train with Eula but I also go adventuring with Bennet or cook with Xiangling. Hm? Oh, well, I guess fighting Osial with you, the adepti and the Qixing was fun, but it’s not a hobbie.

-Phoenix troubles: I hate hate hate Dendro slimes! All of them are so annoying! Every time I am getting materials for Sucrose or Albedo, they always pop up and scare me! I wish they all disappeared.

-Favorite Food: I love Noelles pancakes! They’re honestly the best and so tasty! I can melt just thinking about them! (*starts actually melting* No wait stop pls-)

-Least favorite food: Wolfhook, it’s so salty… I don’t know why people like it, bleh! It’s only good for healing.

-Birthday: What’s a… Birthday? Oh wait, I remember celebrating this day with Diona once! Ahem, I congratulate you for living another day to come back to the date of which your mother screaming in pain, happy birth.

-Feelings about Ascension (intro): I feel a bit weird… But stronger!

-Feelings about Ascension (building up): How does this work??? Why is Ryuuko saying my soul ate Ruin Guard parts? Ahhhhhh help!

-Feelings about Ascension (climax): I feel so tingly…

-Feelings about Ascension (conclusion): I’m so powerful now! I can definitely defeat my brother now!

-Elemental Skill: Acidic Waves! Ha! Feel the Acid!

-Elemental Burst: Feel the Scarlet Kings Pride! Death Upon You! A Sin not to be Forgiven!

-Sprint (start): Lets go! I’m not fit enough for this!

-Sprint (end): *pant* All I can feel is pain… *pant

-Wing glider: Yahoo! *giggles* I’ve only had fun like this before the Melting Sun 001 incident!

-Jumping: Oop!

-Plunging attack: Dizzy….

-Charged attack: Spin spin spin! The world is spinning!

-Low HP: Healer please! Hurts a lot! *sniffling*

-Light hit taken: That’s it? / Haha! / Shouldve trained more!

-Heavy hit taken: A-agh! / You’re good / You trained for a long time, haven’t you?

-Death: The King will… Rise / Impossible.. / So.. Dark… / Congratulations, you’ve killed the 6th child/ Seems like you… won

-Light attack: Heh! / Hmph!

-Decent attack: Egh

-Heavy attack: Weakling / *laughing*

-Defeating enemies: Should’ve kept your mouth shut / This is what happens when duel a demigod / I’ve won

-Joining party: Let’s-a go! Hello new friends! *Gasp* So many experiences!

-Chest: All that for an empty chest? So many materials! Can I take them?

[the-great-bbe]

Ready or Not!

Rhaenys crawls under her father’s bed. Mama was quite clear: they were playing hide and seek, and Rhaenys needed to hide her best from all the men looking for her. She stifles a giggle into her little hands. After the count of ten—ready or not, here they come!

or a quick little fanfic, about our favorite game of hide and seek :)

Lyrics of “The Hide and Seek Song” copyright by Headquarters Music.

Who wants to play a game? It’s time for hide and seek!

--

Mama kisses Rhaenys’s forehead. Egg sleeps in his cradle, despite all the noise coming from outside. It sounds scary out there, but Rhaenys is safe with Mama and Egg. Mama will never let anything bad happen to her, not even the nightmares that scare Rhaenys in the middle of the night.

“Let’s play a game, my sweet.” Mama’s hands are shaking, and her voice is high pitched. But everything must be fine, because they’re going to play a game. And not just any game, but hide and seek! “Listen carefully. Many men will try and find us, but we can’t be found by anyone. When the game is over, I’ll come get you myself, do you understand? You must hide very well, not even Balerion can find you.”

Rhaenys nods. “I’m good at this game, Mama! I’ll hide forever and ever and then we’ll have honey cakes after dinner.” Maybe if Rhaenys hides the best she can, Mama will let her have two entire honey cakes!

Mama kisses her again, and hugs her so tight that Rhaenys squeaks against her shoulder. “My little sunshine, I love you so much. Now hide. Hide!”

Rhaenys scurries off. Mama is really worried even if she didn’t say so. This game must be very important—perhaps Grandfather is playing too, even though he never plays games. So where should she hide? Maybe behind the barrels in the wine cellar, or in the gardens? No, beneath Papa’s bed! No one ever goes in his room anymore, and the space is so small that only she and Balerion can fit!

She tiptoes up the stairs, and closes the bedroom door so that it’s almost shut but not entirely. Closed doors are more suspicious in hide and seek, after all. Then she tucks herself beneath the bed, and arranges the heavy bedspread so that it’s not wrinkled. Rhaenys shimmies to the very edge of where the bedframe meets the wall, and waits.

She waits, and waits. She almost wants to go back and ask Mama for how long they’re supposed to play, and how many players. But instead she wiggles with anticipation. Mama was quite clear: they were playing hide and seek, and Rhaenys needed to hide her best from all the men looking for her. And Rhaenys is the very best at hiding! She stifles a giggle into her little hands. After the count of ten, or maybe a hundred—ready or not, here they come!

Rhaenys spies a shadow by the almost-closed door, and holds her breath.

-- Run, run, run! Time to run and hide!

Run, run, run! And now I’m going to find you, scurry off into the darkness.

Hurry, I’m behind you!

Don’t you speak! Hide and seek!

--

“Myrcella! Myrcella, where are you?”

Myrcella bites her lip. Joffrey is no good at being a seeker, he gets too angry and starts shouting for her and the servant children. And of course the servants come out, and Joffrey is so mean when he catches someone! But not Myrcella—she is the very best at this game, and she would rather fall asleep beneath this dusty old bed than let Joffrey win.

Mother tells her to let Joffrey win, to keep him from throwing a tantrum, but Uncle Tyrion says that it’s good for even the Crown Prince to be told no every now and then. She sniffles. One of the serving girls showed her this hiding spot, saying that no one ever looks under here since it’s so deep in Maegoir’s Holdfast and who can fit beneath a bed anyway?

Why does the Hand even have this room—maybe this is where Lady Lysa is supposed to sleep, instead of in Lord Littlefinger’s rooms. Myrcella isn’t supposed to know about that, of course. But she knows a lot. She knows that Joffrey isn’t going to be a very good king, and that Mother and Father should’ve never married, and that the mean old black cat Tommen wants to catch had another owner before. Myrcella heard Uncle Jaime speak about him once, and the person who owned the cat before. Uncle Jaime says many things about before Myrcella was born, but only when he is drunk and sad.

She twists a bit of string around her string until her finger turns purple. By now Joffrey must have found Sweetrobin and Tommen. She hopes that Sweetrobin cried and punched Joffrey in the nose. He gets to hit Joffrey without getting in trouble, since his father is the Hand. Myrcella is just a girl though, and must be a sweet little lady who lets Joffrey do whatever he wants. Last time she complained to him about cheating in games, he bit her ear. Mother wiped her tears and told her to bear it with a smile. Myrcella stopped complaining after that, but it still burns in her stomach.

Father says he won’t be like this forever, at least. Myrcella hopes so. She imagines him fully grown, but still the same way, and instead of twisting her arm he twists her neck. Just like Tommen’s kitten that bit him once. Joffrey let the poor little creature under Tommen’s bed, and Tommen screamed about monsters for weeks afterward. She sighs. There aren’t any monsters here that Myrcella doesn’t already know.

Myrcella hears footsteps down the corridor and holds her breath. Oh, if Joffrey finds her, he’ll tug at her hair and scratch at her arms! He’ll be so horrible, he always is! She’d rather die than be found by him!

--

Tiptoe through the cellar or crawl under your bed.

Anywhere you’ve fled, I am going to find you!

Stay inside the shadows, all you girls and boys.

Don’t you make noise, or I am going to find you!

--

“Are you afraid?” Myriame asks Arya, but she shakes her head. She refuses to be afraid. Not now, when they’re still hiding from the men who took Father away and locked Sansa in her room.

She shivers and Myriame pats her arm. She’s one of the serving girls—Arya heard Father call them Lord Varys’s little birds, once. Before everything went so wrong. But when Father was taken, a group of serving girls took Arya by the arm and hid with her in an alcove. They cut her hair, they dirtied her face, they shredded her fine dress and pinned a dirty pinafore to her shoulders. No more Arya Stark, just Nan. Nan, amongst Myriame, and Celia, and Delight, and Sera. Just another serving girl hiding behind curtains, nor beneath the bed.

“It will be alright,” Myriame whispers. “The only ones who go down here are us. Everyone else gets caught like Princess Myrcella. Those men won’t ever get us.”

Arya shivers. No one speaks of Princess Myrcella and how she disappeared without a trace. Did bad men steal her away like Father and Sansa? She dares to ask, “How do you know?”

But then their breath because there’s men outside their room. Their voices are harsh and drip with ill intent. One of them calls Sansa a whore and Arya wants to stab his eyes out with Needle. But then they enter the room and she squeezes her eyes shut and holds her hands over her nose and mouth. They can’t find her. They can’t! They’ll take her away from Father and Sansa, and who knows what they’ll do to Myriame!

There are four beds in this room, a servants’ dorm. Arya dares to peek. They check beneath one bed. Then another. One of the men cackles, “I can smell you, little girl! Where are you hiding?”

Neither of them dare to breathe. The man says in a high pitched mockery voice, “Ready or not, here I come!”

Arya burrows into Myriame’s side and waits to die. There is noise, yelling, shouting, terrible noise. Then there is heavy silence, only broken by Myriame’s breaths. Arya doesn’t dare open her eyes. Not for a second.

Myriame murmurs again that it will be alright, but Arya keeps her eyes firmly shut, counting the seconds.

--

Run, run, run! Creep up on my grave!

Run, run, run! Stalk the night away!

Scuttle off into the night! But what’ll be behind you?

Don’t you speak! Hide and seek!

--

Tywin barricades the doors shut in his wrath. How do two grown knights go missing in daylight?! And not just any knights, but his own—he needs Gregor Clegane’s bloodlust to scour the Riverlands, like a beast on a leash. And Amory Lorch is slime suited for the most unsavory tasks that Tywin cannot do. But they are gone, disappeared without a trace.

Just like his granddaughter Myrcella.

He sheaves himself onto his chair and pours himself a goblet from a blood red decanter. Years have passed, and still Cersei blames the Dornish. But even Tywin can’t point the finger at them, as there is no evidence at all. Myrcella simply played hide and seek one day, and was never found. Most likely some depraved monster of a servant took the girl for his own desires and threw her into the Blackwater, a fate entirely underserved for anyone of House Lannister. The fact that the girl was too sweet to harm a fly just makes the wound sting greater. Without her calming influence, Joffrey is an unhinged little bastard, and Tommen a spineless fool. What is Cersei teaching her children?

Not to mention she’s let both Stark girls escape! First Arya in the chaos after Eddard Stark’s arrest, then Sansa from a barricaded room! Last Tywin heard, they were both back in their mother’s custody at Riverrun. And Robb Stark is proving himself to be a wolf on the battlefield—he’ll have to deal with the boy himself. If he can stop him from overtaking the Riverlands and spilling into the Westerlands! Tywin could gouge his daughter’s eyes out for her folly. They will never get Jaime back, now that they’ve lost their bargaining chips!

Tywin hears footsteps lead up to his door and barks, “I am to be undisturbed!” He doesn’t hear them head back down the stairwell, and he growls to himself. Idiots, he is surrounded by idiots! He stalks to the door and swings open the door.

There is no one there. He blinks, then closes it. He turns back towards his chair, and the window is open. Cold sweat beads at his brow. He never opened that window, and yet the curtains blow in the wind.

A princess and two knights go missing in broad daylight without a trace. This must be the work of faceless Men from Braavos, paid to…to what? Myrcella is an obvious target, if less obvious than Joffrey or Tommen. But why Clegane and Lorch? Perhaps this is a Dornish ploy, as revenge for Princess Elia and her children—

Something falls over in his adjoined privy and Tywin swears he hears footsteps come up the stairwell once more. He steals into his bedroom without so much as a whisper, as one breath. He must hide. The wardrobe’s doors are swinging in the breeze. The Faceless Man will hear him close them, surely. But where else? His heart pounds in his temples and his vision swims. By the gods, are they already inside the room?

He looks down. It is insulting, but his only choice. Tywin squeezes himself beneath his bed and pushes himself towards the wall. The walls themselves are hollow, to allow the servants to attend without disturbing his betters. If he can find the trapdoor without alerting the assassin, he can survive this.

He is Tywin Lannister, the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. He will not die here! He holds his breath, and wills his numb hands to stop shaking.

--

Like a frog inside a skillet, a lobster in a pan.

You don’t understand that I am going to find you!

Be still as a mountain and quiet as a mouse, ‘cause any little sound,

And I will surely find you!

--

Joffrey is dead. Joffrey is dead! And the castle isn’t safe! Tommen scurries into an abandoned room deep in Maegor’s Holdfast. There’s just a trundle bed in the corner, boxes piled on top of each other in the center, and dust coating everything. Once, Myrcella showed him this room while playing hide and seek—but that was when she was still here. Even years later, no one understands what happened to her, or to Gregor Clegane, or Amory Lorch, or to Grandfather. Mother blames the wicked Dornish. Joffrey blames evil Northmen magic. But Tommen knows, he knows that it’s the monsters. He has seen them in the night! They are in the walls! They are beneath the beds!

Tommen told Margaery to run before he fled the wedding feast. He hopes she survives. But he can’t think of more than finding his hiding place. He’ll never make it out of the castle, not with the smallfolk starving and so angry at them. He’ll sneak out at night, before the monster goes feeding. And then he’ll head…somewhere. Anywhere but here!

Try as he might, Joffrey haunts his steps. His bloated purple face, the bile and blood spilling down his chin to pool in Mother’s lap. Mother screamed and screamed when he died, like the day when they couldn’t find Myrcella or Father. The monsters must have killed him too, like everything else in this castle. And now he is alone!

Tommen shrieks, and claws at his hair. He can’t breathe! They can hear him! They can smell him! He is next!

He crouches down on the bed in the corner. He wills himself to breathe but he’s too afraid. Joffrey is dead! Myrcella is dead! Grandfather is dead! Will they ever find his body?! Tommen chokes on his sobs and his entire chest aches. He hurts. It hurts. The fear, it hurts, make it stop—

He collapses to the ground. He writhes, and scoots beneath the bed, and muffles his screams into the dust and the dark.

--

Tick—tick—tock, are you ready or not?

Tick—tick—tock, listen to the clock!

Hasten off into the black, don’t waste another heartbeat,

Don’t you peek! Hide and seek!

--

Dragons roar from over Kings Landing, and Cersei sobs into her hands. She should be on the Iron Throne to meet the usurpers, but then they burned her Kingsguard at the gates and—and she panicked. She ran, and hid beneath a servant’s bed.

King Aegon Targaryen the Sixth, come back from the dead! With silver-gold hair and bronze skin and indigo eyes, thirty thousand Dornish spears at his back and that miserable little chit Shireen Baratheon as a bride with the Stormlands as her dowry! And Daenerys Stormborn, Queen Beyond the Sea, come to help her nephew claim his throne with their shared dragons! They each ride one, with one reserved for the sister that Lannister men murdered along with godsdamned Elia Martell! Cersei could scream, but then they’d find her.

She must escape.

If she makes her way back to Casterly Rock, then she shall be saved. No dragon can defeat the heart of the Westerlands! Cersei can still salvage this, even with all her family dead and her dreams scattered to ashes in her throat—

At least there is no valonqar. The prophecy took her children from her, but her neck is still her own.

At least she got to hold Joffrey as he died. Myrcella and Tommen had no bodies to bury. He was her first, and her last, and she prays that he found his siblings from wherever those wretched monsters stole them away.

Muffled footsteps creep from beyond the corridor and Cersei can’t breathe. A servant? A Dornish spear? A Dothraki? Daenerys? Aegon? A monster?

Bare feet enter the room, splattered with dirt and blood. One of Varys’s little birds? They skip to the edge of the bed, and a sweet voice rings out, “Found you!”

Swift as night and brutal as the Blackwater, a hand reaches under and grips Cersei by the hair. She screams as she is dragged out, and then she can’t scream because hands are at her throat and twisting—

--

Let the countdown begin!

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

--

Rhaenys peeks out from behind the door. All is still and silent. Not even the flies are buzzing. She stifles a giggle into her hands. Aegon raises an eyebrow, and she explains, “Everyone always hides under the bed. A child’s mistake, it can be forgiven with time and wisdom.”

He shakes his head, before resting his chin on her head. “You’ll never need to hide beneath the bed again, I swear it.”

“I know.” She trusts her brother. She loved him before he could even remember her face, of course she trusts him. Him, and their aunt Daenerys, and their family in Dorne, and all her friends hiding in the walls—Rhaenys shall never be alone again.

Her family are in the throne room, and she shouldn’t keep them waiting. How happy they will be to see her! How happy she will be to see them! The weight of years of hiding bows her shoulders. It is time for her to stop hiding, stop seeking, stop this game and take her place in Aegon’s circle. He will be so proud to see how she’s survived. Mama would be proud. But Rhaenys…well, old habits die hard.

She shimmies beneath the bed and pulls Aegon down with her. He laughs and she lets the shadows become her. Just once more. Once more, the darkness becomes her. Rhaenys bares her teeth in a grin. What better tool for a new king than a monster who knows where everyone hides? Aegon survived the last game between them, and she’ll keep it that way.

She tells Aegon to count to ten, and he holds his breath.

A clock ticks somewhere.

There are many who covet the throne. And the countdown begins anew.

--

Ready or not, here I come!

[remmushound]

Curse of the Clan Part 41! @scentedcandlecryptid @selfindulgenz

Content warnings!! Mentions of corpses, hopelessness,

Raphael’s massive arms engulfed his brothers, pushing them behind him. He braced against a tidal wave of despair that was displaced from the cave, crashing down on Raphael and his brothers. Donatello cowered tightly into Leonardo, and both twins formed a second wall of protection around Michelangelo, encasing him in a protective brotherly shield between them and Raphael.

“Stay together Mad Dogz!” Was the last thing Raphael was able to say before the rush of ashen debris fell down on them.

It was immediately suffocating. The cloud of hopelessness swallowed them body and mind. Sensations of cold creeped over their skin and not just from the snow. It was an unnatural cold, like the chill of a corpse running icy fingers across their arms and stealing the very warmth from their bodies. Breathing was impossible. Raphael could feel his brothers slipping out of his grip, drifting away on their own islands of despondency. He found himself unable to care, especially not when his own suffering was so great. He just wanted it to stop.

“Raph!” The presence like bubblegum ice cream was still drifting, getting further and further away. Getting more and more distant, more unimportant. In fact, it was almost irritating. He wanted it to go away and leave him to his cold suffering.

There was another presence far beyond the mountain of growing illness; another Raphael chose to ignore. Three of them actually, just as resigned to their fate as he was. At least, he would be if that weird red glow would leave him alone! It was disturbing the gray that swallowed his existence, joined with a relentless pulsing at the base of his spine, like pure heat. It wasn't bad, but it was uncomfortably hot compared to the rest of him, beating in time with his heart.

“RAPHIE!” Like malleable cookie dough the voice forced its way through.

The ash of his mind cleared for a second. He felt something gripping tightly at his hand, something rubbing against him, a beak, joined with a noise not unlike a cats chirp.

“Mikey…?”

The red force that had started at the base of his spine started to spread. It forced the cloud of suffocation back and revealed to Raphael his brothers, still crouched at his back and braced against the storm roaring around them. Donatello opened his eyes first, looking around with confusion, fear, and then astonishment in his eyes.

“That’s new…”

“Look at that!” Michelangelo squeaked. His eyes had opened soon after Donatello’s and he was pointing toward where the now-shattered rift once held, at a creature emerging from within.

Whatever it was, it was massive! Exceeding even The Shredder’s height by several feet, the creature pulled itself around on its belly like a squid with bone mass. His head was large— in fact, he seemed to be almost all head with very little torso to separate it from the seven distended tentacles that seemed more like bony rope than anything else. There were several joints that made the tendrils bend in a way that should have been impossible as the pink, bubblegum-like oni pulled himself across the snow.

“Ohhh... You made such a good distraction…” The oni rumbled, laughing and spitting out splashes of viscous slime with each word. It splattered over the red shield, but Raphael was just grateful it didn't hit him. He didn't want… whatever that was anywhere near his skin. “These two weeks have been fun fun fun!”

“Ugh.” Raphael scrunched up his beak, “That’s disgusting.”

“Oh I’m sorry!” The creature almost seemed to speak with a lisp as his tentacles carried him slowly over to the quad. “Is this unsettling you?”

“Uh. Just a scooch.” Leonardo smirked as he brought his fingers to almost touch.

“Well…” The oni pulled himself over the group, unable to get past the field. The moisture of his body leaked out over the red dome like thick raindrops. “It’s certainly a lot warmer out here than in my prison. Oh, I can’t wait to play!”

Raphael’s eyes searched behind him. Reaching through the mist was a small golden gateway, vines sprouting flowers grasping in the snow trying to find something to drag through. Draxum? It certainly didn’t look like Draxum’s gateway. Draxum’s gateways never had flowers, and they were most often red. But it was a gateway, a way out. Raphael scooped his brothers up in his arms, holding the shivering trio tightly as he bore them through the snow and to the rift.

“Time to go!”

The oni slipped off of the shield and laughed. He didn't attempt to follow the brothers with anything except his eyes.

“Oh~ Run run run, little turtles. I’ll be there soon~!”

There was a heat around the gateway, flowers sprouting in a circle around it and blossoming even further to grasp and guide Raphael with their gentle pedals into the warmth of his beloved home. The rift sealed behind them and locked the laughing evil in the forest where he was freed.

“MY SONS!” Splinter ran forward and tossed himself at the brothers, not caring who he landed on as he wrapped his arms around them. “Oh my boys! What happened?!” Splinter looked around at each of his sons in turn, his whiskers tickling their cheeks as he sniffed them and breathed in the peculiar smells that clung to them.

“Did you defeat the evil?” Draxum asked; he didn't seem to care about the return of the brothers, simply examining his finger nails as he leaned against a wall.

“Uh. Not exactly.” Leonardo smooshed his hand against Splinter’s snout and shoved the old rat away, “Raph will give you the run down. Ahem.” Leonardo put on his best actor voice, “Previously on turtle ninja teenaged mutants…”

Raphael rolled his eyes but still gave his best recounts of the events. Splinter listened, becoming more and more agitated with each passing sentence until his ears were flat and his tail lashing like an angry cat. He flashed his teeth as he let go of his sons in favor of pacing around the room.

“Thing is, Bishop didn't even tell us how to seal the rift.” Leonardo said.

“He never intended for you to…” Splinter snarled. “I figured Bishop would pull something, but not like this! Not coming after my sons and my daughter!”

“Yeah well— wait, daughter?” Leonardo looked around, “April? Is she—?”

Right on cue, April slowly backed out of the medical room, looking back in through the open door and saying words that couldn’t be heard before she turned around and came to face her adoptive brothers.

“GUYS!”

With April's shout of pure joy, Cassandra and Sunita poked through the door to see what was happening. The three all ran over together, practically tackling the brothers in a hug; if Raphael hadn’t been there to support them, they would have been taken down. Cassandra, it seemed, favored Raphael as she fussed over him, trying to clean his clothes and dry the cold wetness of his skin while muttering Japanese swears. Sunita danced around the group, checking for any wounds that she could lend aid in fixing. April showed each of the brothers' attention in turn while ranting relentlessly.

“Ya’ll okay— y'all good— y'all hurt? If y'all hurt, then someone else boutta be hurt! Tell me who hurt you I’ll hurt them who hurt you I’ll fight them!”

“We’re okay April!” Michelangelo snickered, and then started to fuss over April in turn, “are you okay?”

April took a deep breath and explained everything that happened with Bishop while the boys were gone, never once breathing until she wrapped up the quick and rushed story.

“Cassandra kicked some serious TCRI butt!” Sunita giggled.

“Are you hurt…?” Raphael was so careful, so tender when looking over the short girl; he cupped her face and turned it around looking for any wounds, and then picked her up to look over the rest of her body.

“Have you met me?” Cassandra smirked, kicking her legs out like an excited puppy eager to run, “I’M UNTOUCHABLE!”

“Yeah, untouchable, sure…” Leonardo frowned as he scrutinized a large gash in Cassandra’s shirt, ripping the top almost in two pieces and staining it red. “That your blood? I don’t see a wound…”

Raphael’s eyes went wide with worry. “I’m going to crush Bishop into the ground if he laid so much as a hand on you—“

“We can commit the act of violence later, Hermano.” Leonardo said, “I’d rather deal with the mystic threat before the human one.”

“I’m not so sure he is human…”‘April said, “he… said some weird things while I was captured…”

“Tell us about them.” Raphael said, and April obliged.

While they were busy, Leonardo addressed his father. “Dad, do you remember the story of how the oni was sealed?” Leonardo kneeled down to be face to face with the small rat.

Splinter shook his head. “I am sorry— I do not.”

That seemed to put a damper on the celebratory reunion as the clan all looked around at each other with a settling sense of doom creeping over them.

[naivesilver]

top 5 adaptations of the Fairy from Pinocchio? (or maybe top 5 best AND 5 worst?)

I spent so long staring at this and wondering if I even KNEW five good Fairies, but it turns out I do, albeit mostly for asinine reasons. Anyway AHFAKKJKFHAHJKJA thank you <3

Ask me my top 5 anything

Obviously under the cut because I couldn't resist and did BOTH

The salt AKA the worst of the worst first:

1) Piccolino No Bouken

Surprised? I suppose most would have expected me to put the Disney Fairy first, and I did, too, for a while, but as I was sitting in my car pondering this ranking I realized I was SEETHING with rage about this one, so I had to rearrange things a bit. This, guys, is where my Fairy hate begins - not the book, not the Mouse's interference. This woman.

I hate her. I hate her SO MUCH, for all that I love this adaptation more than most things in the world, and that the choices made about her characterization were a huge inspiration for me. Not only does she not send Pinocchio to school, instead teaching him on her own, she is the only one to actively keep Pinocchio from his father - indeed, she makes the choice for them, saying to Geppetto's face that it would be best for the boy to be taught something before he goes back home. Who the hell are you to make this call, uh? You have known him for a day at most! You left him hanging from a fucking tree all night! I wouldn't trust you with a bloody lapdog, nevermind a child!

Also she lets Pinocchio believe she's dead UNTIL THE VERY END. She turns into a bird while he cries at her tomb. Are we fucking serious now? Leave him alone.

(Yes, this is elementary school me howling for revenge. I've been mad about this longer than reason would let me. Sue me.)

2) Disney's Pinocchio

Bane of my existence. I don't know if anyone remembers that pic of me at the Pinocchio theme park I posted a while ago, but basically in that moment they were putting up a little show to tell children a little bit of the OG story, and they asked the audience if they knew what color the Fairy's hair was - a few said blonde, and I, being on stage next to her, distinctly heard her mutter "dammit, Disney". I've been living with that mantra since then.

Nobody asked you to make that puppet sentient, ma'am. He doesn't owe you shit. Aside from that, just like Jiminy Cricket, she ruined her character in a good two thirds of future adaptation. And while we're speaking of Jiminy, WHY did she think it would be a good idea to entrust a little boy to a slime ball such as him? He's too horny to have an ounce of sense. Conscience, my ass.

Basically...begone, asshole.

3) Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night

This film is so horrible, the Fairy had no chance to be decent at all. A cheap copy of the Disney one, with the addendum that she turns MULTIPLE toys into living beings while holding them responsible for whatever they do after. Basically Victor Frankenstein, but make it a poorly dressed woman from a direct-to-TV movie that shouldn't have existed at all.

-100/10, at least you're pretty, but by God, SHUT UP.

4) Once Upon a Time

Honest to God if she doesn't keep her filthy hands off my faves she's gonna get a slap across the face so strong her Wish Realm self ought to feel it sting. I am not exaggerating.

Seven seasons in, she hasn't done ANYTHING useful that I can remember. She's not even good at her own fucking job! Not only that, she's traumatized and guilt-tripped a good chunk of the population of Storybrooke, including first and foremost my beloved son August. The Pavlovian reaction I had every time she appeared on screen can't be described in coherent words, only in eagle screeches.

She's wrong. On principle, she's wrong. Let's move on.

5) Luigi Comencini's Le Avventure di Pinocchio

Doesn't rank higher only because she's played by Gina Lollobrigida (my beloved). She's book accurate, which means she'd be annoying as fuck as it is, but what little they added only makes her worse.

She has the gall to tell Pinocchio she'd like to see him happier. Like, apart from the fact that the ghost of his father's deceased wife isn't exactly the most reassuring person to hear it from...Said father has been swallowed by a giant fish. You told that boy he's only going to see his father if he studies hard. You keep turning him into a puppet anytime he misbehaves. What did you expect, that he would do the Macarena every time he entered your house? I am honestly too shocked to say any more. What the fuck.

.

.

.

Okay, I've been enraged enough for a single night. Let's move onto brighter shores!

1) Enzo D'Alò's Pinocchio

Enzo D'Alò knows what the fuck is UP!!! The only one with the courage to let the Fairy be a weird little girl - not only for a short time, but up until the end of the movie! That takes guts! Balls of steel!

I've said before that this movie has nothing memorable to it, and it's true, but also...Pinocchio wanted a sister so bad, and the movie gave him one. And they even explained the plot hole of the medallion with Pinocchio's face in it! That's twice as good as the fact that they cut out the most awful parts of her story, which is already delightful.

Thank you, Mr D'Alò. You have my trust until the end of days.

2) The Adventures of Buratino

Speaking of weird girls, this one is officially balls to the walls enough to gain my respect. She's bothersome to Pinocchio, but she's bothersome to everyone and everything, so I'll let it pass. Her role is exclusively to appear out of nowhere and do batshit insane stuff for no good reason at all. A star.

Plus, other than having an handwashing obsession that I've felt very keenly in the past year and a half, she also has a boyfriend - her and Pierrot are the original girlboss and malewife, I'm not accepting any criticism on the matter.

(Fun fact: when I was a young kid I once dreamt that the Piccolino No Bouken Fairy was dating a big, buff and blonde farmhand. He wooed her by gifting Pinocchio a dog. Apparently I've always been very interested in Fairies getting a love life and staying the fuck away from my specialest little boy.)

3) Pinocchio miniseries

"Serena, but you said you were disappointed in this adaptation so many times!" True. But consider: I am also very, very queer, and Violante Placido being motherly and wearing wispy dresses stirred SOMETHING in 11yo me that I can't very well ignore.

In hindsight, she and the Cricket probably had something going on behind the scenes, which is a shame. Miss Fairy, I swear, you could do better than Luciana Littizzetto in an ill-fitting green suit. She's gonna break your heart and lose your puppet charge in a crowd of little idiots. Do me instead.

4) Pinocchio Vampire Slayer

This woman kills monsters - and she's damn good at it! Honestly, so badass, and such a good mother figure too, even in trying times. I don't want to spoil the comic much to those who haven't read it, but she and Cherry are the highlight of the first volume and I am very fond of them. A+.

5) Matteo Garrone's Pinocchio

This one's book accurate, too, but Garrone did something with her that almost burst in tears in a crowded theater. She's awful, and irritating, but she's...she's so human, too. I can't rage against a Fairy that's so impossibly human even during the smallest of scenes. It breaks me over and over again.

Look at her SMILING, for pity's sake, am I supposed to think there's some warmth in the dead lady? Fuck you, Matteo, what did you do to me? I am an honored Fairy hater. You're going to ruin my reputation if you keep this up.