#and then we got to go home several hours early. which i could be wrong but i'm sure that was not everyone's experience of that

[quatregats]

I understand that for some people having to watch a movie and write up your thoughts sounds much better than having to take a test however I really am considering violence rn

[lunajay33]

Desperate🍂

Summary: Embry was your best friend since birth never a day without him and when he magically disappeared from your life it shattered your world, desperate to just see him one more time

Pairing: Embry Call x f!reader

•Masterlist•

Being born in forks with your twin sister Bella, it was a crazy start, mom hated it here and took Bella with her leaving me with my dad, the chief of police Charlie Swan, we had a simple life and I loved it we’d have supper together most nights talking about our days, he treated me good he never went a day without making me feel loved, when mom left taking only Bella, I remember her saying I was too much to handle that Bella was quiet and would be easy, after that I feel incredibly bad about myself but Embry was there, even as kids he was always there for me and I was there for him

Today we planned to go to La Push beach and have the whole day together so I got in my shared truck with Bella since she moved back now, and drove down to the beach

Parking in my usual spot and walking down to the beach, taking off my shoes I let the sand cover my feet as I sat in the spot Embry and I always hung out in, close to the water so the breeze from the ocean could relax us, he always said it was his favorite thing to do, just sit with me enjoy the moments we shared

An hour had passed and still no embry so I decided to go to the little shack on the beach and get an ice cream, after getting my favorite flavour I went back to the spot seeing Embry finally here, quick to sit next to him

“Hey Em what took you so long?” I asked as he wrapped his arm around my waist

“Sorry sweets slept through my alarm but we still have the rest of the day right?!” He said smiling down at me, over the last couple of months he’s shot up in height and has become way leaner and muscular

“Of course!” We spent the next few hours walking along the shore with our shoes off, walking through the trees near the beach, getting more ice cream since he was complaining how hot he was even though it was a typical cool cloudy day in La push

Soon he was turning more red and getting light headed then angry, which I’ve never seen before

“I have to go, I’m sorry” he said running to his truck and driving off leaving me confused, finishing the day early I drove back home where it had become gloomy, Bella was always screaming at night and dad and I would barely get sleep anymore, some nights I was allowed to stay over at Embrys to help

I hung up my coat and made my way to the phone dialing Embrys home phone, it rang and rang and rang, sighing I left a message hoping he’d listen and call me back letting me know if he was okay

I slumped down at the dinner table picking at the fries feeling like something was wrong

“You okay kiddo?” Dad asked from across the table

“Yeah it’s just, something happened with Em today, he might be sick I’m just worried”

“I’m sure he’s fine! He’ll probably call you in the morning”

“Yeah I guess”

It’s been a month with no word from Embry, I called all the time only getting word from his mom saying he’s severely sick but I couldn’t believe it, and now I know how Bella feels well felt, she’s been hanging with Jacob and seems to be getting better now I’m the gloom of the house

“Kid you can’t stay in the house all the time outside of school, go for a walk at the beach or something I know you love that” his words made tears bead along my waterline

“Dad you don’t understand, I need him it feels like somethings broken in me, he’s never done this to me before I mean did I do something wrong?” I cried into my hands

“Honey you couldn’t do anything wrong you’re my like sweetheart, maybe he’s just going through something, maybe go for a little hike get some fresh air”

“Fine” I pulled on my shoes and left out the back door walking the trail all the way till I got to the jumping cliff, Embry had taken me here many times because it gave a great view of the ocean, he once even set up a picnic for my birthday

I love embry I always have but I could never admit that to him and risk the friendship we have

After about an hour I was ready to leave when I heard a growl from behind me, turning slowly full of fear with the recent hiker attacks, glowing yellow eyes in the trees as it had gotten dark, but when I heard a whine my fear disappeared

“Hello?” I asked stepping closer

Another whine was heard before a huge wolf emerged from the trees and my breathe was taken from me, it came nearer pressing its snout against my palm as I started running my hair through its beautiful fur

“You remind me of someone, you’re so gentle, I had a friend he was my best friend, I loved him but he’s gone now, I don’t even know if I’ll ever see him again if he ever wants to even see me again, I guess I just miss him” I don’t know why but spilling my heart out to this gentle giant made that weight of my chest lighter, the wolf licked my face before walking back into the woods

Another rustle was heard in the trees and a few seconds later the last person I expected to see came walking towards me, Embry but he was even stronger and taller and his hair was cut and a tattoo

“Em? Where did you come from?”

“It’s me well I mean…..that the wolf……it’s me”

“What but how you can’t be……” but then all the stories of the tribe I heard over the years came flooding back, descended from wolves

“By that look I think you already know, I never wanted to leave you god it killed me to be apart from you but that day……that day I got sick I was changing, there’s more of us, Sam Jared Paul, but it’s a secret you already know that, but when we change anger runs out entire life it wasn’t safe to be around you, I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you, but then I caught your scent out here and I couldn’t take it anymore I had to see you”

“But if it’s a secret why are you telling me everything?”

“This is crazy but, people in our pack we have soulmates, picked when we are born the person who’s our other half, each wolf has an imprint and when you see them it’s like your whole world changes everything is about her, she’s your life the one that keeps you going”

My heart dropped the way he was explaining everything sounded like he already found her

“Have you….have you already got an imprint, you’ve found your soulmate” I said my voice shaking as my lip quivered

“I have and I knew, I’ve always known it’s only ever been you, I love you, forever”

“Forever Em”

[thevoicefromanotherworld]

"THE SKIRT STAYS ON"

Soooo I wrote another fic with Will because I (need him so bad and I would do anything for spending one night with him holy fuck) love him so much

I hope you like it!

WARNING : EXPLICIT SMUT UNDER THE CUT

The FBI Academy was lonely that Friday afternoon. Everyone wanted to go home early and start their weekend as soon as possible, but you were still there.

You walked through the long, dark hallways of the academy on your way to your professor's office. The moonlight was the only thing that allowed you to have visibility, since the janitor, seeing no one, had decided to turn off all the lights in the premises.

As soon as you arrived, you knocked softly on the door, waiting for confirmation from him.

-Come in -he said, and you closed the door behind you as you entered-

You turned to him. His gaze focused on the folder you carried around your waist for a moment, before speaking.

-Oh, it's you - he observed, taking off his reading glasses, leaving them on the pile of books that was in a corner of the table - sit down - he invited, pointing to the chair in front of him - I've made coffee - he announced, getting up to pour some into two cups -

You stared at his broad back for longer than you should have, you swallowed hard when you saw how the shape of his arms could be seen under the thin fabric.

-I don't know why you come during office hours - he murmured - it's not that I'm complaining or anything, I… I enjoy your company immensely, but your grades are the highest in the class - he laughed softly - you're almost better than I was when I was in college and I had exactly the same resume as you

He left the cups on the table in front of you. You took the one that was closest and blew on the liquid a little to cool it down, before taking a small sip.

-There is no need to be modest - he continued - modesty is good, it helps us not to have our heads in the clouds, but don't think that I don't see the results of your hard work - he whispered, drinking from his cup - you take your time to hand in perfect assignments, not like the rest of my students - he observed - you spend your days studying and working, hence your grades are perfect - he said - spending your time on that when you could be going out to party or whatever it is that young people your age do today

-The truth is that there are not many options - you intervened, making him look at your cheek, always avoiding eye contact - going out to party guarantees you a one-way ticket to the incredible station of popularity - you shook your head negatively -

-And you are not interested in accepting that ticket from what I see - he assumed, you nodded -

-I loved it when I told you "what young people do today" - you laughed - basically because you are not old man

-I know- he nodded- I got my master's degree four years ago- he shook his head- anyway you're not here for me to talk to you about my life- he interlaced his fingers, while leaning on the table- What can I do for you?

That question included several answers, which you couldn't say out loud.

-It's about the last exam we took- you began-

-What's wrong with it? –he questioned, frowning-

-You forgot to correct one of the exercises that is worth one point –you said-

-Oh, I'm… I'm sorry, I didn't realize –he apologized, somewhat embarrassed- I was probably doing other things at the same time and forgot to add it to the total score –he said- it won't be a problem, I'll add it right now –he opened one of the drawers and took out a stack of papers that he went through until he found your test –it happens more often than you think –he commented while writing it- most students don't want to come to my office or stay a few minutes after class-

He stopped looking at the test for a moment, until he found the uncorrected exercise. He looked at it for a few moments, before placing his glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

-Wait a moment… -he murmured, placing the sheet of paper on the table while gesturing to you with his head- come here –he asked, his tone of voice was authoritative and kind at the same time, which you had not heard before- you have not used the correct formula –he pointed to the operations that were under the statement- even so, your grade is still very good –he said, tilting his head towards you for a moment- I expected nothing less from you

He put the sheet back in the drawer with the others before speaking again.

-Was that all? –he asked- Do you have any questions about yesterday's class? I know that the principles of forensic science can be a little complicated and…

He stopped to observe you for a moment. He looked at the shape of your back and how you tried to move your neck as little as possible.

-Are you okay? –he murmured- you seem… tense, nervous even –he handed you your cup of coffee- hold it in your hands –he invited- warmth always calms me –he added- maybe the same thing happens to you

You nodded for a moment, trying to focus on the warmth of the cup and not on how the damn glasses he was wearing made his eyes look bigger and bluer than normal.

-Can you… –you swallowed nervously- close the door?

-Sure –he murmured walking towards it to put the latch - I don't think anyone is going to suddenly appear anyway- that's it –he announced- now you can speak freely –he said sitting back down on the chair in front of you- it's okay, you can tell me even if it's nothing related to classes –he said- we've known each other for two years, you've come to each and every one of my lessons without exception, even the ones that were given during after-school hours –he paused- even the ones on Fridays –he murmured- you're always in the front row writing down the most important things. But, you don't ask questions during those talks - he observed -

-It's because I don't want to be the center of attention - you confessed, he nodded leaning back in the chair -

-I see - he murmured - out there you only talk when someone does it first - he explained - but here it's not the same - he whispered - in my classes, I mean - he corrected himself - little by little you've come out of your shell - he observed - you just needed time

-I didn't think it was so obvious - you murmured timidly -

-Just because I've been teaching for a couple of years doesn't mean I don't focus on my students - he added - so… Do you want to tell me what's bothering you? I promise that whatever it is won't leave this room

-Really? - you questioned, he nodded very seriously -

-Of course - he assured you -

You squeezed the fabric of your skirt between your fingers, while taking a deep breath before answering.

-I may be… -you swallowed hard- there's no easy way to say this but… I like you -you blurted out-

He stared at you for a few seconds, expressionless, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

-I see -he whispered- and how long have you been feeling that way?

-For a couple of months now -you confessed, he nodded-

-I feel like an idiot -he murmured- I'm not good at seeing those kinds of signs

-I haven't been very clear either, I'm sorry

-No no please, don't apologize -he was quick to respond- it's not your fault, it's just that sometimes I can be blind to some things -he said- there was no easy way to approach the subject, but you did it -a slight smile appeared on his lips- it must have been difficult -he added- I'm proud of you -he said- I can't imagine the amount of time it must have taken you to gather the courage to say it

-Are you angry? –you questioned, he shook his head-

-Not at all –he assured- Why would I be? –he looked down at your lap- your hands are shaking –he observed- Do you want me to hold them? –he asked, you didn't make any movement- Give me the cup –he said- I don't think either of us are going to drink anymore

Your hands brushed when you handed him the cup. Neither of you moved away. His hand held yours with a gentleness that took your breath away for a moment.

-Your hand- he whispered- is warm, and soft- he observed- and it still shakes a little- he murmured as he gestured for you to come closer- come, let me give you a hug- he said, and you did, you approached and he wrapped you in his arms-

-That's it- he whispered running his hand up and down your back- everything's okay- he murmured as his touch paused for a moment on the small of your back- I never realized how small you are compared to me until now- his husky laugh reached your ears, making a shiver run through you- there's always some kind of table separating us, but now that we're so close, I can rest my chin gently on your head- he observed doing just that- Do you feel calmer now?

You wanted to yell at him that calm was not the word you would use.

-A little - you answered with a small mouth-

-A little - he repeated- good, I'm glad - he said- your breath tickles my collarbone, darling - he whispered- Can I call you that? - he asked- I felt the shiver that ran through your body when I said it - he smiled- something tells me you like sweet names - he said- Can you look me in the eyes, baby? - he murmured- Can you do it for me?

You turned your head slowly, to rest your gaze on his. His beautiful blue eyes held yours with intensity and delicacy in equal parts.

-Oh, there's that shiver again - he observed- the blush on your cheeks - he whispered- how adorable - he murmured- let your precious brain rest for a moment

You swallowed hard, at the same time that you lowered your gaze to his lips before looking him in the eyes again.

-I want to kiss you- you murmured, overcoming your shyness for a moment-

-Is that so? - he asked, leaving a lock of hair behind your ear- well, when you say it in that kind tone and with that sweet expression that matches him, I don't see how I could refuse

Slowly you approached him, closing the distance that separated you and placed your lips against his.

The kiss was calm and affectionate, as if both of you had wanted to do that for a long time, and now that the moment had arrived neither of you knew how to react.

-You've blushed again, and we've only kissed- he said, his voice dropping two octaves- I wonder if I can make that shade of red turns into a darker one, but I won't do anything you don't want - he whispered - What I said before is true - he murmured - About your brain being precious - he smiled - Although honestly, all of you are precious - he explained - Your personality, your eyes, your smile - He looked at you for a moment - Your body added making the blush on your cheeks accentuate -

-Are you serious? - You questioned in a low voice, he nodded -

-Of course I am - he answered - When have you seen me joke in a serious situation? - He laughed -

-Never - You murmured, losing yourself in the blue of his eyes -

-Exactly, and I never joke when it comes to you - He looked down at your lips again - So what does my sweet girl want? - He asked delicately - And remember what I said about looking into my eyes

You blinked a couple of times, before resting your gaze on them again.

-Good girl - he praised, making you tremble under the weight of his gaze, while he brought you closer to him again to kiss you-

He dragged you onto his lap without moving away from you, making you fall messily on him.

He pulled away for a moment to observe you, before kissing you again, this time with more eagerness than the two previous times.

You placed your hands on his chest covered by a sky blue shirt, making him look at you attentively.

-It's okay, honey, you can touch me - he allowed when he felt your fingers tangling in the buttons of the garment- Can I touch you? - he asked, you nodded- Where do you want me to touch you?

Unable to speak, you pointed to your chest with your index finger.

-Take off your sweater- he murmured, and you did so under his watchful gaze, but when you moved your hands down to remove your skirt, he stopped you delicately- no, no, no- he scolded softly- leave it on- he whispered- let me adore you, starting with your lips

He left several kisses there before moving to the place where your pulse was beating, making you throw your head back at the touch of his lips there.

-And your neck- he continued observing your reactions- Is that sensitive? -he asked, the choppy sound that came from between your lips was enough of an answer for him- you're twisting your hips- he observed- I can feel how wet you are- he whispered leaving a kiss on your collarbone- be a good girl and ride my thigh- he asked- don't worry about my pants- he said as he continued kissing you-

Several sighs and gasps came from between your lips, making him smile against your skin.

-From the sounds you're making, I know you're enjoying it- he said kissing your chest gently- good girl- he praised again- moving like that against me… Are you going to cum?

-Yes… - you moaned holding onto his strong shoulders-

-Kiss me while you do it- he murmured, you nodded with difficulty, joining your lips with his-

Within a few seconds you came on him, your moans filled the air, which he drank in as he kissed you.

He pulled away from you to look you straight in the eyes, the blue of them that had been soft before, now shining like a Christmas ball.

-I'm glad you enjoyed it -he smiled- but I'm not done with you yet

He lifted you by your hips and sat you on the desk, pushing aside the papers that were there.

-Don't worry about them, they weren't important -he said following the direction of your gaze- you are the most important thing right now

From the moment he took off his pants the dynamic between you changed. You would never forget the gasps that came out of his throat when you moved your hand up and down him.

-I'm going to… -he gasped- I need… -he murmured- I'm going to fuck you -he said making you move against him-

He pushed his hips slowly against you, until he was completely inside

-You're taking it so well, baby -he whispered- Are you okay? Is it too much?

-I'm… -you murmured- I'm okay- you squealed when he moved- please, Will!

-That's it, precious take it- he said moving against you- good girl

His gasps and the moans that left your lips reverberated through the room as he pushed himself deeper into you, and you moved your hips to meet him.

-So beautiful, my good girl- he panted- look into my eyes- he ordered as he pushed into you- I can feel you tightening against me- he whispered- you're going to cum again, aren't you?- you nodded- kiss me

And that's what you did.

You both came hard against each other, as you looked into each other's eyes.

-You're beautiful - he whispered as he slowly pulled out of you - oh, shit - he gasped - and you're all mine - he added -

-Will… - you sighed - hug me again, please

-Sure, come here - he whispered making room for you in his arms - whatever you want, my princess

[xoxo-ives]

we are sunflowers begging for light

cold, dark streets and apartments full of familiar warmth

or, tim can't keep his mind on patrol

wc: 1188

(tim-centric rewrite of 'the way you weigh your head on mine')

(title from 'heaven sent is a coffee cup' by bears in trees)

Crack! A fist collides with Tim’s cheekbone, snapping his head to the right. He blinks twice, reeling from the impact. Another blow lands on his mouth, and he feels his bottom lip split. The metallic tang of blood fills his mouth, and he spits onto the ground. He shouldn’t have let himself get so distracted. His opponent faces him, chest heaving after the several minutes of cat-and-mouse they’d been playing.

Tim had been distracted, letting his mind wander, only going through the motions of combat. His head wasn’t in it, and it was increasingly obvious the longer it went on. Eventually, the mugger was able to land two hits, one of which he’s sure will bruise. He sighs, ending the fight quickly. He leaves the guy on the corner in front of a police station, unconscious with his hands zip tied behind his back.

He starts to make his way home, returning to his thoughts. Thoughts he isn’t sure he could put into words even if he wanted to. Thoughts that made his heart beat faster and his face feel warm. Thoughts of you, at home. Likely asleep, because you have class tomorrow morning. He wonders about what you might have done while he was out. Maybe you’d read a book on the couch, or watched your favorite show, or done nothing at all in particular.

He thinks about calling you, telling you he’ll be home soon. Just talking to you so he can hear your voice. If you’re already asleep, which you should be, he won’t see you until tomorrow afternoon. You have class early in the morning, and he has work. He’ll come home for about two hours, and you’ll both be so tired it’ll hardly be a conversation at all, and then he’ll be patrolling again and the whole thing will start over again.

As selfish as it is, he hopes you're not asleep. He wants to see you, if only for a moment. He climbs the fire escape, slipping in through the window to his bedroom. His boots hit the floor a little louder than he intended, and he winces. He opens the door of his room, intending to have some water and maybe some food before trying to get whatever sleep he can. When he swings the door open, you’re standing there, warm and soft and familiar. 

“Hey. You’re home.” Your voice is quiet, but it’s the most wonderful sound in the world right now.

“I am,” he says. “You’re still awake.” He doesn’t say it aloud, but you both know what he’s thinking. It’s late. You should be asleep right now.

“Yeah. Probably should have gone to sleep a while ago, but I…” You trail off, and he wonders for a split second if he needs to be worried. “...can’t sleep when you’re not here. Feels wrong.”

“What? What does that even mean?” He’s touched, but he’d be lying if he said that didn’t confuse him a little.

“It’s too quiet when you’re out. The apartment feels too…empty. I don’t like it. It makes me uneasy, and I can’t sleep. Maybe it’s dumb, I don’t know,” you say, shaking your head.

“It doesn’t sound dumb to me.” It sounds like exactly what he needs to hear. “It sounds nice. Sounds like you want me around, you know?”

“Of course I want you around,” you say, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re my best friend, idiot. C’mere.” You put your hands out, motioning for him to come closer. He does, and you cradle his face gently, hand on his jaw. You move his head to the side, fingertips ghosting over his cheekbone. He feels his skin burn where you touch him, and he prays to every god he doesn’t believe in that he isn’t blushing.

“You got a bruise here.” He hums, not trusting himself to say anything other than how close you’re standing to him. “What happened?”

“Just some mugger. Caught me off guard.” Because he was thinking about you.

“Caught you off guard?” Your voice is playful, and it makes him feel like he’s flying. “You losing your touch, boy wonder?” He rolls his eyes and pushes your shoulder gently. He hasn’t been Robin for years, and yet you insist on calling him by that silly little nickname. He asked you once why you do it. You’ll always be my Robin, you had said fondly, grinning at him. He feels his heart twist at the memory, knowing you didn’t mean it in the way he wished you would.

“I was just distracted,” he says. He tries to use the Red Robin voice, the voice he knows you listen to. He can see in your eyes that you want to push, though.

“Distracted? By what?” And there it is. You’re not going to drop it easily.

“Doesn’t matter.” He’s trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice, knowing he’s not quite succeeding. He hopes against hope that this will be the end of it.

“Clearly it does, if you were so off your game you got punched that hard.”

“Just leave it, okay?” he finally snaps. “I was thinking about something else, and I wasn’t paying attention. It. Doesn’t. Matter.” 

“Fine, keep your secrets.” He can tell from the way you mutter it that you’re upset, both annoyed and hurt in equal measure. “You really should clean that lip, too. Don’t want it to get infected.”

“Whatever.” He rolls his eyes again, not even sure what he’s annoyed about now. “You don’t need to mother me.” He refuses to admit that he appreciates it every time you fuss over his injuries or insist on making him food. He feels loved, cared for, wanted when you remind him to come home safe. Even if you don’t say it with words, he hears it each time you leave leftovers out for him, each time you wash the grit out of his palms, each time you leave a water bottle next to his work bag. 

“Okay. Sorry.” Your voice is just a whisper now, and he can’t help but feel guilty. “You want tea or anything?” He sighs. Even now, after he’s snapped at you, you’re trying to take care of him.

“Tea sounds nice actually. Chamomile, please.” He hears you move to the kitchen, and he unties his boots and takes off his mask, setting them in his room. He finds you on the counter next to the stove, looking at something on your phone. He stands as close to you as he can get, pushing your legs out of the way before wrapping his arms around you and leaning against your chest. Your chin settles on the top of his head, and he can feel you playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. He hears the kettle boil and pours the water quickly, not wanting you to go anywhere. He returns to his place against you, breathing deeply. 

“You alright? Long night?” He can feel the words vibrate through your chest against his cheek, and he finds it soothing. 

“Yeah. You have no idea.”

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

The Visitor

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial with the prompt #FFFF282 out of love. Thank you for the prompt. I am asking you to tread carefully. Although, this is an alternate universe and clearly focused on the side characters, this is post-anime yet some descriptions can be seen as spoilers for “The Paradise of a Crow” off the second part of the Yatagarasu series.

—

Fandom: Yatagarasu: The Raven Does Not Choose Its Master

Characters: Hajime Yasuhara, Yori (Yoritō), The Marquis

Rating: Teens up

Word count: 1097

AN unpleasant smell of unwashed bodies mixed with stale perfume, used clothes, and fresh sweat welcomed Hajime as soon as he boarded the Shinjuku train. It was rush hour.

The so many people confined in small spaces somehow agitated him. They also fascinated him.

Don’t get me wrong I have found a renewed appreciation staying in the Outside World, but still, it makes me want to stay in the four corners of my tobacco shop forever.

He never usually went out, but seeing his partner Yori, yes one could call him his partner now, who volunteered to become his butler cum bodyguard as if Hajime-san were an aristocrat, he wanted to do something for the younger man out of love.

After many times asking Yori when his birthday was Hajime found a way to get him a special present. One might call him stingy for asking one of his older brothers for a favour but if the said brother’s company sold cars successfully, and he, Hajime-san, got a discount for it then it was fine. Frugality was something he learned from their foster father, but not to the point of denying oneself with self-caring, which comprehensively could mean from shrewd gambling to eating the best mochi in town.

Yori, he found out, loved to discover temples and shrines that oftentimes he had to travel by foot as he despised, no, avoided train stations, due to past life.

His former master, The Marquis, had several guards in Japan that appeared in crow-form, and they usually guarded the train stations.

Hajime did not understand the logic, but he gave Yori the benefit of the doubt.

Birds could appear anywhere, and it did not matter where you were.

Oh well…

In his rucksack was the paperwork for Yori-chan’s new red Vespa that he took a liking a month ago. Hajime’s old bicycle, which Yori often used, showed signs of slow death that after the young man took part in the Tanabata Festival in Asakusa, Yori abandoned the broken bicycle and walked two hours going home.

Hajime didn’t know if he should laugh or cry out of his friend’s predicament but in the end Yori went up to him with his tired eyes. He began to shiver and at that moment searched for Hajime’s warmth that the latter felt the young man’s arms enveloped his waist.

He used to be a warrior. Always has been. Why does he feel so vulnerable now?

That was in July. Yori’s behavior, truth to tell, bewildered Hajime for a fleeting time, but he took it in stride.

Now the cold crispy morning air of autumn fell upon them. Darkness came early at 4 pm. Yet the shop was already closed. Did Yori not feel well that he had to close shop early? When he opened the door, he noticed that the keyhole was broken. There were crows on the roof. Another one perched on the broken partition wall of his neighbour’s house.

A burglar? Them? Where was Yori? And if there was any, how could Yori, a warrior in Yamauchi, be overcome?

These Yamauchi warriors could be likened to samurais in their heydays. Strong, brave, agile, and knowledgeable in martial arts.

What is happening?

There were voices on the second floor. The language that he heard before and personally got to know almost a year ago.

What do they want?

“Ah, Yasuhara-san, here you are. We have been waiting for you. I see that you are still enjoying Yoritō-dono’s services here. I can say that he’s done a good job, don’t you think?”

The Marquis, in person, but without his usual garb. His long wavy brown hair with white streaks were hidden in a wig that somehow suited him. He looked younger, like a boss in a company dealing with finances. His dapper dark grey three-piece suit replaced his priestly robes. The Marquis was dashing, if Hajime were honest with himself. His Cheshire smile brought memories, often ugly ones, that it was not up for good. But there remained one problem.

“Where is Yori?” Hajime’s heart was pounding.

“I am here,” said a confident voice.

Yori was holding a folder that Hajime knew by heart. It was the deed for the Mount Arayama’s right of ownership.

“Several guards are hovering around the houses and condominiums of your family ready to strike. I heard that your mother has a particular fear against the crows…” The Marquis touched his thin lips. His eye bags were noticeable, like beauty flaws, yet they didn’t match the evilness behind those eyes.

“What are you planning, you lying scumbag?!”

“Ah. Perhaps Yoritō-dono has the answer?” The Marquis looked at the person, whom Hajime called a friend.

“I have studied your penmanship and was able to acquire the skills to copy them. For the deed to take place, I require your blood, or any bodily fluids to make it appear that it is you who has signed it.”

Oh my god! So that explained that strange day during the Tanabata Festival.

~~

Hajime felt the arms around his waist. Yori looked up to him with his beautiful drooping brown eyes. The eyelashes were so long he could not help putting his lips on them. Without further explanation, he stuck out his tongue and lick them.

Everything went so fast when he became aware that Yori took off his jeans and his white underwear.

“Yori, you…”

“Let me do this, Hajime-san.” Yori bent his head and smelled his genitalia. He then took it and began to work on it earnestly. Tears broke out from their faces as soon as Hajime reached the climax.

It must be the nearness. The solidarity that brought them together.

“Let me take care of you this time…” Hajime reached for his lover’s zipper.

“No, no. I am good. I only want to do it for you. I want to see you satisfied.”

That was the first and attempts to do it again were unsuccessful.

~~

“Ah… of course… those trips to temples and shrines are only a front, you met them secretly.”

“Yoritō is a good actor, isn’t he, Yasuhara-san? He is my protégé. There are times we use seduction to get our way too.” The Marquis chuckled, who stood up from Hajime’s favourite armchair, clasped the tips of his forefingers together close to his lips.

The semen, the fake handwriting, and the fake affection.

They left him alone without a proper goodbye, frozen where he was standing. And that was the end of it. The question remained if he would see these creatures again.

~tbc~

[lumierecharity]

Miraculous medal, front and back

Luky:

THE SEVENTH of November has always been a red letter day in my life, as it marks the birthday of a near and dear one. When she was small she'd be counting the weeks and days leading up to it for months, giving us no chance to forget it.

One year's birthday was probably a lot different. As mother (at the time) of two and expecting her third child in another six months' time, she had enough to occupy her mind.

All the same, I phoned her that morning and she enthused about the lovely gifts her husband had brought her.

Unsuspecting

I on my side had good news too. My own husband, having successfully got over his operation, was coming home the next morning. We mutually expressed our pleasure and rang off.

Little did I know then that I was about to remember November the 7th for quite a different reason.

Just before ten that morning one of the matrons of the local hospital telephoned me. My husband was back in the intensive care unit of the surgical ward, she said, and she was sure I'd be wanting to see him to encourage him as soon as I could.

A nod is as good as a kick to a willing horse, so I went to my boss and got permission to go to the hospital.

Plugged in

Having arrived there I found my husband lying on a bed, tubes and bottles attached to several parts of his body. He was barely able to speak but the matron had explained to me that he had either got a clot in the lung, known a a pulmonary embolism, or in the heart; called a coronary thrombosis.

He had complained of a very severe pain across his chest. "I've nursed Mr Whittle for years", the matron said, "and I know him well enough to be aware that by the time he finally complains there is something seriously wrong."

Strong friend

I can't tell you how kind everyone was. As parents of one of the hospital's student nurses at the time, we received VIP treatment.

My old neighbour grabbed me as I was leaving the hospital on my way to I know not where and steered me back to the ward. She's a nursing sister and midwife and was a tower of strength to me in the eight years we lived next door to each other. It was like living next door to my doctor.

Complicated prang

When I pranged my car that morning, trying to get out of a parking place, three men helped to liberate me. If you gave me five thousand rand to repeat what I must have done to steer my car into such a position, I'd have to decline because I just don't understand how I managed it.

Please pray

Early next morning I telephoned my sister. My husband was on the critical list and my brother-in-law came to the phone and asked what he could do.

"Take all your children to church now on their way to school and have them pray a Hail Mary for their uncle", I pleaded.

He did that and more. That afternoon as I arrived again at the hospital, he was sitting outside my husband's ward. He had taken the day off and spent four hours driving my mother and sister to see me. I've always thought that man was a jewel; now I have proof.

My mother stayed and looked after the children for the next few days, much of which I spent as hospital.

It's good to have a family.

More to come

A second clot was to pass through my husband's lung before his agony was over. I received a letter from my colleagues at the office; all of them had gone into one office and prayed together for my husband's recovery. Everybody was praying, especially the lady who worked for us. 

"I was so scared Mr Whittle was dying", she said.

The younger children, aware of the tension, became unbearable, looking for attention, arguing and quarrelling and crying hysterically over nothing.

Interesting incident

The day I knew things would improve I was seated in a little room outside the intensive care unit, talking to my daughter. I had been given permission to look in at my husband on the half-hour.

She had taken off her miraculous medal and handed it to me to put round her father's neck.

We were talking and I was gesticulating with the hand which held the medal. Suddenly I looked down on my knee, and there to my astonishment I found that the chain had arranged itself into the shape of that peculiar broad flat "M" on the back of the miraculous medal.

People have laughed at my assertions of miracles all my life so I said nothing about it. I wanted to make sure I wasn't mistaken.

'That's odd", I said to my daughter, "What does this remind you of?"

"The M on the back of the miraculous medal", she said. "And look next to it, that's a heart shape, also found on the back of the medal."

"Your father will be all right now", I said after marvelling for a little while, and handed her back her chain. "He won't need this."

I went into the ward and spoke to the heart specialist.

"Your husband is improving", he informed me, "though he's not out of danger yet."

It was all I could do not to tell him he was wrong. With such a powerful patroness as our Lady showing her very personal concern, I knew that no power on earth could prevent my husband from recovering.

Catherine Nicolette

Dad went on to make an uneventful recovery - an amazing turnaround as he had been critically ill. I have great devotion to Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal and both Mom and I received much comfort from the configuration of the chain. Do I believe this was a sign from God? The comfort I received when I saw the symbols of holiness was deep. In that moment I knew: all will be well.

Having been witness to many signs and wonders from God throughout my life, I would encourage you to look out in your own life for those moments in which God is present with comfort and hope.

The Miraculous Medal is a holy devotion which brings special spiritual protection and comfort. Why not find out more?

Visit for petition to Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal

at https://lumierecharitymarian.blogspot.com/2017/08/petition-to-our-lady-of-miraculous-medal.html

[monotonous-minutia]

Work rant. May delete later. Don't feel pressured to read.

I'm ticked off.

As some of you probably know by now, at my job we work with kids who can get physically aggressive towards staff. Pretty much everyone who works here has been hit, kicked, pushed, or bitten, sometimes all of the above. People always ask me how can I handle working here and the weird thing is after a while you just get used to it. We get a ton of training and on the job practice so after a bit you just know what to do and work with it motion by motion.

Even so, it can still be scary and overwhelming.

Now my issue is my boss (who I no longer appreciate or trust for a really involved reason) today got scratched by a kid. She was telling him to put his phone away, he didn't want to and started yelling, she went to radio for backup (we all have walkies on us at all times), he reached for her radio to stop her, and accidentally scratched her with his fingernails, which I know were too long because I talked about it to him earlier.

Obviously that's not fun. I'm sorry it happened to her. But he wasn't trying to hurt her and she kind of acted like he was aggressing towards her maliciously and called a code red so like half the building came running to help her. Immediately after she removed herself from the situation, she grabbed her stuff and went home early.

I don't want to engage in trauma Olympics but the reason this irks me is because a few months ago I was alone in a room with a kid who punched me in the head six times, knocked me over, and started kicking and hitting me while I was lying on the ground. I had to radio for help three times before people started showing up and between my calls I heard them talking like "I can be there if no one else can" or "someone switch out with me and this kid" instead of rushing to my aid when I'm getting pounded by a kid half a head taller than me.

When people finally showed up to help I crawled out of her range and ran to my office to sit down and have a full-on nervous breakdown. Several people checked in on me which was nice and my favorite coworker (the one who left) sat with me for a while and talked me through it. But no one told me I could go home. I had group half an hour later and another one after that and then a meeting. No one said they would cover for me and that I could go take care of myself. I had bruises and a headache that lasted two days. (For all I know I had a concussion but I'm never going to the hospital again so who knows.)

Thing is my boss is a little out of touch I think because she's not in group and with the kids on the front lines constantly working with their escalations. And when she is involved she always has a big reaction. Big reactions are fine, we all still have them. But I've been getting in a lot of trouble for being "disregulated" (there was literally an intervention and other things I won't get into but are the reason I no longer trust my boss because of the way she handled it). So it seems really hypocritical of her to have big reactions and leave work early when a kid scratches her but I'm expected to suck it up when a kid beats the crap out of me. I can't cry at work or express frustrations without people using it against me to say I'm doing a terrible job.

I love the work I do in spite of the risks because I want to help these kids. I used to feel like my coworkers are so supportive and understanding. But now I feel like I can't be myself or ask for help. I'm constantly walking on eggshells waiting for someone to point out all the things I'm doing wrong. And the one person I trusted isn't there anymore. So I go every day into this high stress job with no outlet and no ability to admit when I'm overwhelmed. I suck up my tears and smile and say it's just another day and then go home and kick the wall.

I'm currently looking into different jobs and figuring out what my best options are. I hate leaving the kids and this work but it's so unhealthy for me to be there constantly worried that one more mistake is going to be the end of me.

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for not apologizing to my mom after she deeply upset me?

I'm 23F and still live at home (🏠HOUSING CRISIS!!🏠) with my parents and 3 siblings. I've had a pretty rocky relationship with my parents, but DEFINITELY moreso my mom. She tends to never apologize for things, leaving me to be the one to apologize to *her* just to keep the peace in the house.

I just got my first job and have been really struggling with the fatigue and time constraints that come with it. Recently I had a particularly rough week with 3 incredibly busy and disastrous shifts on my own back to back, and was really looking forward to using Sunday to sleep in and try to relax and take care of myself.

My mom is Mormon, and insists on bringing us all to services with her, but we'd been going so irregularly lately and she hadn't said anything about it that I just assumed we weren't going (I always hated going and she was well aware of this, I've been trying to get out of the church for years now but because she won't let me stay home from services I literally cant). I got woken up on 5 hours of sleep with an announcement that I had to get up *right that moment* if we were getting to church on time. Sleep deprived, still sore after my shifts, and having been woken up literally 2 seconds before there was nothing I could think to do but yell a "no, I don't want to" at her while rolling over to face away from her.

She got Mad, yelling at me for "whining like a baby" and "you *never* want to go so this isn't any different". After it was clear I wasn't getting up, she opened my door to leave the hall light shining directly in my eyes and turned off the fan to my room to try to get me up, two things I have specifically told her in the past not to do because they *really* fuck me up and make it impossible for me to even attempt to relax.

It was at this point I told her that she can't *actually* force me to go and her only response was "yes I can" and that she wouldn't drive me to the store later that day like she'd promised if I didn't get up (I have severe anxiety that keeps me from driving, a time sensitive project I needed supplies for, and another family member was relying on me to get supplies for them too so it wasn't even my own shit on the line (she didn't even end up taking me for reasons farther down))

I did get up eventually, and spent my entire shower crying because of how exhausted I was. I will admit, I actively did not try to be quiet because a small part of me knew she'd be able to hear me and maybe she'd know how deeply this hurt me. Every time I'm dragged along I feel like she doesn't respect me as an adult that can make their own choices and that she should still have this much control over my life.

I ditched services halfway through because it was too overwhelming and when she called me after they were done, I impulsively decided not to pick up the phone. There was nothing I wanted less than to talk to her at that moment. When my sister called me moments later I immediately picked up to find out we were leaving early and it turns out this was what made her snap. My dad even asked me what was going on and my only response was "I don't think mom respects me as a person" to which he replied "she doesn't think you respect her either" (we Have had our fair share of arguments in the past that always tend to go this way. I genuinely don't think I really do respect her anymore)

It's been a week now and my mom still actively refuses to talk to me and avoids me whenever she can. It's obvious what she's doing because she's perfectly kind and happy when speaking with everyone else in the family, but hasn't said 2 words to me since and the times she *has* spoken to me have been short, passive aggressive digs at me. I know at this point she's probably waiting for an apology from me but I'm tired of being the one who has to make peace. I don't think I did anything wrong, and I'm tired of being treated this way, but I can't tell if I should just suck it up to make it easier for the rest of the family.

So. AITA for how this has gone down? Should I just apologize and try to get her to move on?

[jonesatheart]

Body Modification

"Hey, pal."  

Casey closed his eyes with a soft groan. "I'm dyin', aren't I?"  

Raph chuckled and tousled his hair. "No, ya not dyin', drama king."  

"It's somethin' bad if I'm in'e lab and you're here without Don. If it was fixable you'd'a gotten Don as soon as I started wakin' up. So what's wrong with me?"  

Raph shifted. "It's complicated. It's fixable, it's just gonna take a few months."  

Casey hummed. "What'd I break?"  

"Nothin'."  

He lifted his head to look at Raph. "Then what is it?"  

"You feelin' okay to sit up? Ya were pretty doped up when we first found ya." 

Casey nodded and pushed himself onto his elbows. "Yeah. Honestly. I'm feeling pretty okay considerin' it sounds like ya had to go all mission impossible for me."  

"Yeah, well. They weren't tryin'a rough you up too bad. Kinda just happened. Don says ya didn't have many defensive wounds so they probably ambushed ya and dosed ya pretty quick then kept ya under the whole time. Ya been in and out here for a few hours too." 

"You're bein' weird, Raph."  

"I'm really sorry, Casey," he answered quietly, unable to fully look at Casey. "We really...we failed ya this time." 

"Okay, now you're just scarin' me. What happened?"  

"We think they took ya from your apartment. I got a text from you sayin' ya made it home fine after patrol and...based on the time line either they jumped ya right after ya sent it or they just sent it themselves."  

Casey felt his heart rate kick up as dread settle into his chest. "Raph, what day is it?" 

"It's Wednesday. They nabbed ya late Monday, early Tuesday. We don't always talk durin' the day and bein' out, we slept late. April's ben outta town so it wasn't till we tried gettin' a hold of ya about comin' over for dinner that we knew somethin' was wrong. It didn't take us long to find ya after that though. They didn't even really fight back about it. Just let us take ya."  

He cast a warily look at his friend. "They being?..."  

"The Dragons. We brought ya back Tuesday night and Don ran some tests to make sure you were okay, got ya started on an IV and some other stuff we nabbed from a few ambulances, and you been sleepin' off whatever it was they gave ya."  

"So it's like a full twenty-four hours kinda thing."  

"Close to, yeah."  

"And I guess it has somethin' to do with?..." He raised his left arm which was bandaged from the elbow down to his knuckles. 

"Yeah."  

"Do I wanna know?" 

Raph shook his head. "Ya really don't."  

"I wanna see it."  

"Case-" 

"Raph-" 

"It's a tattoo. It's...It's their tattoo." 

Casey went still. "What do you mean 'their tattoo'?"  

"I'm sorry."  

"I wanna see it."  

"Casey-"  "It's not goin' anywhere and I'm gonna have to deal with it. Let me see it."  

"Okay." Raph held out his hand and Casey gave him his arm.  

"Hey." Casey rested his other hand over Raph's. "This is not your fault and I'm not mad at ya."  

Raph nodded. "Let's get this off and then ya can decide how ya feel."  

Casey stared at his arm as little by little  the outline of a purple dragon appeared, the tail first just under his elbow and ending with a severed head on the back of his hand. It was impossible not to recognize. A near perfect recreation of the one on Hun's arm, but condensed to his forearm where it could never be out of sight. The severed head either a threat or an accusation. 

He started gagging and Raph snatched the small bin off the floor and shoved it into his hands. He stood by his friend, holding back his hair and keeping the trash can steady.  

"Donny!" Raph shouted. "Get in here!" 

Donatello rushed and took the trash can from Raph. "Was he complaining of any symptoms before he got sick?" 

"He just threw up when I showed him his arm," Raph replied, massaging one of Casey's shoulders.  

"The shock of it then," Don nodded.  

--- 

"When can I get rid of it?" Casey asked, his voice dull from exhaustion and throwing his guts up. It had taken a while, even after his stomach was empty, for the his body to relax and stop dry heaving. Even then he was still shaking.  

"From my research, at least four months. Maybe up to six." 

"After that?" 

"Laser removal is an option. But the coloring does make it difficult. Thankfully they didn't have time to fill it in, but purple is one of the more difficult inks to remove. And. Scarring is always a possibility."  

Casey nodded and leaned into Raph who slipped an arm around his back. 

"I know you're not going to want to, but taking care of it is going to be really important. Keeping an eye out for infection and making sure the skin heals properly can help prevent scaring. We can always help you with that. But the faster it heals, the sooner we can look more seriously into removal options."  

"Thanks for takin' care of me, Don."  

Donatello reached out and squeezed his wrist. "That's what family does."  

"Family looks out for each other, we already talked about it, we want ya to hang out here till we can get you a new place," Raph told him. "That's not an offer. I'm tellin' you that's what gonna happen," he clarified when Casey looked like he might argue.  

"It ain't like they couldn't find me at the shop or somewhere else if they really wanted to," he grumbled. 

"Doesn't mean we gotta just hand ya over either." 

"They're not gonna kill me, Raph. If they'd wanted to do that they'd'a done it already. They want me to live with this. They don't need to get revenge beyond this."  

[holidayvisa]

28 December 2023 - I woke up early. I was awake by 7am. That counts as early. I walked to Line Up, the surfing instruction shop, and I arrived just as a very large man opened up a garage door. Inside the garage were a bunch of surf boards, some wetsuits, and a bunch of huge, poster-sized photos of surfers surfing some big waves. The guy's name was Wayne, and he had to be in his 60s. Wayne first had me lie down on a mat on the floor of the garage and practice standing up, as if standing up on a surfboard. It felt a little like...

I'm just kidding, Wayne truly did a good job of setting me up for success. He told me that I need to move my back foot up first, then my forward foot. He also told me, "arms up!" I practiced several more times on the floor of his garage before we grabbed surfboards and walked to the beach. We probably got in the water around 8:30am. We paddled out not very far from shore, and Wayne had me catch one of the first waves. I paddled too much before trying to stand up, and when I tried to stand up, I leaned too far onto my toes, and sunk the toe-edge, and fell over. Wayne told me to keep my eyes up, to not look at the board or the water in front of my board, but to look up ahead. I paddled back out to Wayne, and on my second wave, I stood up and surfed the wave all the way to shore! We did this several more times, and I stood up and surfed the wave every single time! After I seemed to get the hang of it close to shore, Wayne decided to take me out to the point, where there are a lot of rocks. I was nervous about this idea. Wayne told me, "no matter what, go right," because if I went left, I'd surf right into the rocks 😬 The waves were calming down, and there weren't a whole lot of good waves. I tried to catch a couple, but I don't know if I timed it wrong or what, but I didn't even get to the point where I try to stand up. One wave, I caught it, but I was too slow on standing up, and I was off balance, and I fell into the water. I made sure to fall flat because I didn't want to hit any of the rocks below the surface of the water. Finally, after probably 30 minutes of waiting by the point with rocks, there was a good wave. Wayne gave me a boost as I paddled to catch the wave. I could feel the wave start to push me, so I stood up, moving my back foot first then my front foot, raising my arms, and I made sure to GO RIGHT. I surfed the wave all the way until the wave died out! As I surfed, I could see all the rocks under my surfboard, just below the surface of the water. I didn't really have much brain capacity to think about those rocks as I was surfing over them, but I knew I needed to keep riding the wave and NOT FALL. It felt SO GOOD to catch that wave and surf it! After I surfed that awesome wave, and since the waves were dying down, Wayne said we should head in. It was just after 9:30am. Wayne told me to keep surfing close to shore, in the same area that we started in, but that I'd be by myself since he has to meet the people for his next lesson. So, for the next hour, I surfed without an instructor. I caught a few good waves that I surfed all the way into shore! And, it felt good that I did it all on my own. There were a lot of dads teaching their kids how to surf, which was very cute. So many of the kids were WAY better at surfing than me! It's amazing how good some of these kids were. I surfed until just after 10:30am, when Wayne needed his surfboard back for the next lesson. So, I was in the water, attempting to surf, for 2 hours! I'm honestly kind of glad that Wayne needed his surfboard back because otherwise I'd probably have surfed until my body gave out and turned lobster red from sunburn.

After the surf lesson was over, I walked back to the Vavich's place and ate breakfast.

When Marie got home, we all three walked to Dee Why Beach and got fish 'n chips from one of the beachfront restaurants. Let me rephrase that - Marie bought us all fish 'n chips. We took our fish 'n chips to the beach and ate while watching the waves crash on the shore. The sky was lit up in pinks and blues. The last of the surfers were catching their final waves of the day, and all of the swimmers had already gotten out of the water. It was a very serene dinner venue. And the fish 'n chips were delicious.

It was 9pm when we started to walk back, and it was very dark. We could barely see the path we were walking on. I conked out pretty quickly after we got home.

I'm grateful for an early start to my day. I'm grateful for the surfing knowledge I learned from Wayne. I'm grateful that I was able to get up on the board on my second try. I had built it up in my head to be this big thing, and I was relieved when I got it. I'm grateful for the exercise and sun. I'm grateful for Marie and all that she's done for me. I'm grateful for the experience of eating fish 'n chips on the beach while looking out at the ocean and a beautiful sky.

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

i think im about to have a whole lot of negative feelings

when it was one of my friends's birthdays a few months back, i went to town to buy ingredients for a cake and everyone at home knew thats why i went shopping and that i intended to bake a cake that afternoon

but meanwhile, whilst i was still eating lunch of whatever

my sister's partner came into the kitchen and started doing "meal prep" and then didnt clean up the kitchen until like 9pm and i wasnt able to make the cake that i needed for the following day and so they didnt get a cake

and then it was one of my friend's birthdays earlier in the week and i'll see them tomorrow afternoon

also when i say friend. i mean coworker. but also friend. we have a small team and i make people cakes on their birthdays bc i do love baking but i never find the energy for it, so birthdays are a good incentive

anyway,

i went to town today to get cake ingredients and i had wanted to bake it tonight and then decorate tomorrow...

i would have baked it this afternoon but thought it would take too long since someone else needed the kitchen to cook dinner

ans now. its 9pm and he's only just cleaning the kitchen

which means im gonna have to wake up early tomorrow which pisses me off

because its too noisy and disruptive to be clanging about in cupboards and running a mixmaster now

---

anyway i think that boy is on p thin ice atm with my sister. she and i went to town for a few errands (including getting cake ingredients, and for her: weed matting and potting mix) and we were gone for a couple hours. and the one thing she asked of him whilst we were gone was to go around to his mate's (who lives in the same estate as us. so not a big trip) and pick up the shovel they borrowed from us several months ago, so that she and him could redo the front garden when we got back from town

and anyhow, we got back from town, and he hadn't gone and got the shovel. and he tried to say that she never asked him to do it whilst we were in town (btw. she did. very clearly. it was the only thing she asked of him). and he then got snotty at her for being cranky and upset "for no reason"

and she was already pissed bc they had agreed to do a whole lot of yard work this weekend and he forfeited yesterday and said they'd just relax and do it Sunday, and then he tried to get out of it again today. also when they were doing the garden. i could hear bits of it. and i watched for a little (under the guise i was showing the cats the interesting thing happening in the garden outside the window)... and she was on the ground digging and he's just standing there and telling her she is doing it wrong without trying to help

long story short: i dont know why she is still with him.

she is also p sure he has stopped taking his meds again (im sure too, bc you can tell with his attitude and mood). she said she has asked him but he won't give her a straight answer.

but even when he was taking them he wasn't on the weekends?? like no wonder they made him feel like shit. thats not how antidepressants work?? you dont just take them on work days???

[spaciousreasoning]

Owing Taxes

Last night’s low reached 38 degrees, and the high today made it to 51. There’ was rain off and on during the rest of the afternoon.

My blood sugar this morning was back in a good range, at 151. I opted for hot coffee this morning, hoping to provide some relief for all the pains I was feeling. When we finished our brain games, we fixed oatmeal for breakfast.

Because we had gotten up so early, we took a short nap before Nancy had to leave for her hair appointment. When she got home from the appointment, we went by the drugstore to return the wrong lancets they provided me. Later, I discovered the replacements were also the wrong kind. I’ll return them soon.

We stopped at the credit union to get some cash, but the drive-thru ATM was being serviced, so we went on without extra money.

Our next stop was Market of Choice. At the top of our list was oatmeal, raisins and walnuts for our breakfast. We also picked up a couple of soups, a couple of soaps, a bottle of pinot gris for Nancy, and another item or two.

Then we went to Natural Grocers, back down Coburg Road, to get cough syrup for the cough I have developed over the last day or two.

Finally, we went to pick up our taxes. This year we owe the Feds $306 and get back a little bit from both Oregon and Arizona. The prep cost was $260. That’s more than we spent in Tucson, but, as we have discovered, many things are more expensive here in Oregon. Even without sales tax.

Once we got home, I called Henry to let him know that I did not feel well enough to go to the men’s recovery meeting tonight. Then Nancy and I took another nap.

When I went to wake up the desktop, it would not respond, so I plugged in the touch pad and discovered that the Bluetooth had turned itself off. I had to reboot the desktop, the second time in as many days. I did already look into a new model, and with the storage and memory I want, it will cost me $2,800. And we’ll have to go up near Portland to buy one. I could have it delivered, I suppose, though that’s not something I really want to arrange.

Once I got it booted up and went to check the latest on FB, I found several more fake accounts trying to “friend” me. There are a lot more of these lately. I’m also getting a bunch of fake emails with attachments that likely contain malware. Luckily, I have become familiar with a lot of the internet scam attempts.

We had cheesy eggs, leftover bacon and toast for dinner. The eggs came from the dozen we bought from Carrie over the weekend.

Then I went out for a walk around the neighborhood. Nancy opted out. I did 1.36 miles in 30:22 minutes, for a total of 3,400 steps. It started to drizzle lightly when I reached Thurston, though it did not feel terribly cold, even while the weather app said it was 47 degrees. It’s nice to have an extra hour of daylight to do a walk after dinner.

Our evening streaming consisted of the third episode of “Blackshore,” which ended with the reveal of the murderer in the primary case. There are three more episodes, and they will appear one per week, each Monday. We followed that with the final case in “Helsinki Crimes,” part of “Walter Presents” on PBS. There is a second series, but it is not available on PBS at this point.

Tonight’s low is forecast to be 37 degrees, with tomorrow’s high at 52. It looks like the rain will be delayed until about 5 p.m., although there was rain today when none appeared on the forecast. That is often the case here in Oregon, we think.

[douwatahima]

op i hope you don't mind me adding to your post, but this made me think of a story that'll be too long to fit in the tags.

so, when i was in my late teens/early twenties i worked at a little caesars. the job sucked, but it was close to home, and i needed the money, and the managers loved me for some reason and let me do whatever i wanted, so i stuck around. an important thing to know for this story is that this location did not do delivery. we would very occasionally get a large catering order and, if we were told far in advance, the owners would drive it to wherever it needed to go, but other than that there was no delivery.

anyway, one day i have an evening shift and the snow is crazy outside. i live in canada so snow is not new, but this storm was so bad that the owners told me when i got there that they had told a bunch of people not to come in (leaving only me and my sixteen year old coworker to work the night) and said we were allowed to close a few hours early because we probably wouldn't be getting many customers.

a couple of hours before we're set to close, the phone rings. i answer it and this guy proceeds to start ordering several pizzas. customers would occasionally call in if they wanted to do pick up so i didn't think much of it at first, until i asked what time he wanted to pick it up by. he laughs at me and says "obviously i want it delivered." i tell him that our store doesn't do delivery and this guy immediately gets mad.

he starts going off about how he ordered delivery from us all the time and how i'm just being lazy. at every turn i fire back at him in the nicest customer service voice i can muster given the circumstances: "no sir i can guarantee we do not deliver." "sir, i've literally been working at this location since we opened, and we have never done delivery." "sir, no one working tonight even has a car." finally, after like five minutes of this, he goes "look outside! do you really think i want to go out in that?" to which i responded "do you really think i do???"

he goes silent for a second and i honestly feel like this is the first time he realized there was an actual human person on the other side of the phone. when he spoke again all he said was "you have a nice night. bye." in like, the smallest, meekest voice i've ever heard. a complete one eighty from the way he'd been treating me for the last few minutes.

idk, maybe i read the situation wrong and he was actually still pissed. he didn't call later to complain about me as far as i know (and he seemed by our brief interaction like he would be the kind of person to do that) but hey, you never know. but i like to believe that he simply realized that the people making minimum wage at little caesars of all places did not have access to a magical vehicle that could move gracefully through even the most insane weather. and hey, if i could pass that info off to even one person i count that as a win.

[happiighost]

Collecting my thoughts on Persona 5

Warning this gonna be a ramble/rant/a mess, whatever you wish to call it! I beat P5 a while ago (on June 9th) and I needed to stew on it. On one hand, it was super fun and I blitzed through a big chunk of it in two weeks in late December 2023. On the other hand, a couple arcs made me stop cold for a week due to how much things annoyed me. Came back months later to start and finish the 3rd semester in 3 days.

A part does wonder if I should've spaced out playing it more but I had the free time to keep going. I ended up with 120 hours of playtime when I completed it. I do wanna go back and replay it one day. There was so much I missed because I went in blind. The one guide I did have was how to unlock the 3rd semester (AND IT STILL GOT STUFF WRONG).

So here's my weird tier list thing read more for nonsense if you want below~

Okay, I'm sure my putting Morgana as my favorite will jar many people. I started the game assuming I'd hate him, ended with him just being a little guy. Honestly, I didn't expect him to be a party member. I thought he was a mascot guy who hangs out like in magical girl shows. Ended up adoring the little dude. He is a mouthy little kid at times sure. But he's excited to show everyone the ropes. Plus his puppy crush on Ann is adorable.

Futaba is another character I only saw memes about before playing. And this girl broke my heart. She did end up reminding me a lot of myself at that age (minus the kid genius, I'm a moron). From the goofy way of talking and her awkward mannerisms. Some of it hit a too-close home, especially with her being stuck at home all day. Plus the arc of everyone taking turns to help her out of shell was super sweet. Especially her just rambling her heart out about games to Joker. The amount times I do this to my older brother about whatever I'm into atm. I do wish we got ahold of her mom's research for her at some point.

Slight tangent from the tier list but p5 felt like a very weird time capsule to me. I'm very late to this party, but the year the game came out is the year it takes place. Which means I would've been the same age as Joker. The game does date itself several times and weird looking back on it.

Now Sumi and Akechi are just in separate tiers even though they should probably be in the top tier. I started the game not caring to much but grew to really adore them! I think a replay will make me pay attention to both of them more. because I noticed more stuff was off with Sumi very early (lack of blood first awakening, her school ID having a brown hair/a mole). It just bunch clues that don't get pay off till veryyyyy late in the game.

It's pretty apparent they crowbarred Sumi in the first part of the game. I think execution wise it could adjusted a bit to work better. I still think there is more to explore like her relationship with her sister and parents. Also would've killed to go to one of her meets/competitions. I wanna be her #1 cheerleader! Would love to cosplay her thief design, Violet, one day!

Speaking of her thief design sense so much of her character is emulating others and confirmed her violet design is based off Joker as her idea of "rebellion" I really wish she got a new design to further show her coming into her own. Unless it is confirmed somewhere she really was scrapped femc at one point. There's really little reason why her outfit has nods to jokers. At least change the color scheme to be more in line with Ella and her gymnast outfit. And her persona. being based on Cinderella is an odd choice for me. I feel the better choice to keep with the trickster theme is Odette/Odile. Last I wish I had few more scenes with Maruki post her 2nd awakening.

For Akechi... One of my old coworkers compared him to Dimitri from fe3h. I love Dimitri, he's a favorite character for me. But all I knew of Akechi was that he got shipped with the Joker a lot and he's "mean/tsudere". Other than that, nothing! I didn't know he was a murder going in. So to spite said coworker I kinda went in determined to dislike Akechi for poor Dimitri comparison (said co-worker kinda like bashing me for fe3h characters I liked and overall was not the most fun talk to about games I played.).

As a result, I didn't pay much attention to him at all in early support. Further into game, i noticed more Lupin the 3rd references so i kinda wondered if he was gonna be Inspector Zenigata (who is my favorite from The Little I've Seenof Lupin the 3rd.). But he kinda off put me off because I called him forcing the prince persona from when you met him. As the game went on I figured out he was black mask and just got more and more worried about the guy. It becomes pretty obvious by Futaba Palace he's gotten himself into something he not gonna easily get out of. It's pretty clear holding back what wants to say. Even when he joins I recall very long text messages about the "motivations" of the black mask killer. It's just him spiraling into an indirect makeshift confession of his crimes.

And the third semester where he little more honest in how he acts. He is not at all what I expected, his navigator lines are indeed hilarious to me (the delivery is similar to Hubert from fe3h they share eng voice actor) for the most part he gets the ball rolling and helps spearhead the 3rd-semester palace heist. He's very blunt but I wouldn't call him "tsundere" or "crazy" at all. He has trust issues for sure but The navigator lines seem to exception, as he comes off pretty level-headed outside of combat. He is very upset at the fact he got left off easy, he wants to face the consequences of his actions and works to make sure it happens. I really ended up adoring him sumi by the end of the game Though I still don't think Dimitri's comparison is apt. Besides the hair?

I have so much to say about akechi and sumi but I'll stop here!

This is more of an issue I have with the player/writing but you really can't reach out properly to any of the cast. Joker kinda feels like he's stuck as a rule of cool protag. So it seems a lot of the cast is talking at him. It's like the devs were a little torn on what direction to go with him. He's more like the smug scheming Lupin the 3rd vs gentlemen thief angle of the OG Arsene (and Miyazaki's Lupin 3rd run as well). So they kinda don't wanna make the player feel bad at any point if that makes sense. It's nice to see the original director did see this issue and fixed in his newest game metaphor (voice acting does wonders yall)

Even if you as the player get to point out stuff like where you need to go next. The game has to stop you until another character (generally Makoto) gives you the green light. The game seems to have a bad habit post Makoto joining, of having her and Futaba just info dump on the player which extenuates the issue. The only time they kinda dump an explanation I didn't see coming was how the whole interrogation room stunt worked. I'm honestly very surprised there wasn't more emotional fallout from said stunt. I know it's based on an actual Arsene Lupin story but one of the moments in the game post the reveal I was taken aback by.

I think my biggest issues with the game are the emotional tone and whiplash it can have from arc to arc. The support lines feel separate from the characters in the main story (even though they continue to lose ends from their initial arcs). I get there are a lot of characters to balance and some do end up fading in the background if they aren't stuck expositing the next plan at you. But it feels certain comedy moments really shouldn't have happened due to what occurred in the previous arc and in character support links.

There is also the issue of the game being very... aimed at the male audience. The first arc has the main antagonist a predatory adult sexually assaulting students. But you playing as a student can romance all the older adult women. Almost every female support you have, you can also romance. There are also several points in the game where you can pick a girl and go on a date or go with ryuji to hit on women who don't wanna be bothered. Even near the end of the game on Valentine's Day/Christmas the game hammers in how "sad or bad" it is if you choose to not romance anyone ( which I choose to do purpose). Even the way your support links with how the teacher starts to feel very invasive to her life outside of school. Ann at the start of Yusukes arc just makes me feel terrible for her.

I know I'm biased due to being a lady but it's just not cute nor funny to me guys just walk up and don't go away. I really would've been fine just sitting on the beach with Morgana or getting ice cream rather than getting forced into dates.

Well that's all for my word barf, if you read this I'm sorry. I'm not very eloquent as you can tell. Despite my complaints, i did enjoy the game i just think it has a very shakey execution on its themes for what ever plot currently demands in the moment.

[motivationaloswald]

The Cleaning Myth

The Cleaning Myth by Diana Frank

I remember when I was eighteen and I was smitten by a man seven years my senior. I used to go over to his house to work on stats homework and he would gripe about his mental and physical illness. I remember he would then have me help him do the dishes. He called himself OCD and I remember how he never asked me about myself, or listen to any of my music as he only preferred music without words which he called idm - intelligent dance music. But most of all I remember when he would get mad if I used the wrong scrub brush for his plans and dishes, that I would have to take my jeans off to sit in his bed. 

I suppose I have a unique history with cleaning. Growing up my parents were hoarders - often to an odd degree. My mom would collect derelict wooden furniture that crowded our walkways, my father vintage cars that often would halt ceaselessly on the freeway under the hot summer skies, car parts littering our kitchen table.

I remember when I was seven my neighbor a few years older than I pointed to the black mold on our ceilings. From then on I would blink back waterless tears as the bleach vapors dropped into my eyes while I scrubbed away, a child’s mission of my own. And I was nine when I started fumigating my room from fleas and apiders, vacuuming up empty bottles of powder hoping to choke every last bloodsucker, and sixth grade when I was pulling them off me in class before explosively lashing out at my mother hours later and then immediately bursting into tears. 

One memorable incident was in highschool. I often got up at the crack of dawn and that day was no different. I awoke early to pour myself coffee. I was the first one up. Vaguely, I wondered with zero curiosity who had dropped a bag of rice under my webbed socks? When I turned on the pale kitchen light I saw thousands of maggots under my toes in the stilted morning air. The truth was I never wore socks to bed but my friend had given them to me the night before. I was so grateful in that moment for her and those sovks. There was so many maggots on the floor crawling over themselves and me I couldn't even sweep them up as they rolled over my pan wriggling furiously while I retched into my panicked hands. 

That moment stood out to me. First with a daughter’s dismay I wondered if vacuuming would wake up my family? But I decided in that defining moment again at seventeen, I needed to be done picking up after my parent's mistakes so I left my army of maggots and instead got ready for school. 

The truth was I had so many instances like that that they etched into my memory with an almost certain humored fondness, as most trauma does.

I would reminisce being home alone and watching the shit rise from the tub and toilet like a septic ghost spilling in burping gurgles. A violent kraken my only ten towels keeping at bay, it's watery edges creeping into the forty year old stinking carpet my parents refused to replace; or fighting off several raccoons so I could pour our childhood dog his nightly kibble. Through all of it I maintained a certainly odd, but palatable sense of humor: I worked in a mortuary; I flipped through photos of crime scenes as a teen to desensitize myself from the ugliness of life as a hobby, and when I became older I even accepted my parents' abuse charitably as neglect– the sad remnants of narcissist grandparents who sprung their own albeit clean - but violent atrocities upon them with equal but separate, vengeance. When my siblings and I got older we even started calling the rain guttered cracked pool we used to lovingly swim in, “the swamp” and added a turtle along with the city’s mandated “mosquito fish” to accompany the twenty footed growing weeded palms spurting from it's very center like a lonely little island.

So I guess you could say I was surprised to realize that despite my carefully rested feminist plans to carve out the opposite of my early beginnings, that I would waltz almost simultaneously into another form of often overlooked abuse – the imposed nature of cleaning, and how partners can weaponize neatness as a perverse form of control, something that is equally as insidious as mess and something  I don't feel is talked about enough. 

You know when you grow up in extremes you tend to flip to the other side hoping it will save you. Point in blank I remember I used to pride myself on attracting men who were the opposite of my father – “clean freaks” yet inwardly struggled with my own hoarding. I was naturally organized and I had a pendant for collecting art. I used to tape old magazines and maps to my walls. Cut out their faces and paint the mouth blank wide abyss of black scrawl, write quotes. The eyes scratched out. My pain was palpable. I felt proud to have found my ex – another self proclaimed “anal retentive”. When he begged me to move in I rebuffed him and he spent months working on me. When COVID hit we moved in and redecorated. My ex would often talk of my mess and in desperation I would swing overly minimalist, allowing myself to take up less than half the drawer space he has given me. With time the space grew. He was anal, I was vaguely messy– not so much hopeless as much as distracted. I needed a reminder I told him. So I asked for help to keep our space clean, he said no. Simultaneously, I wondered at times, why his place never felt like my place, or our place, why I never felt like I was truly home? And then in a final moment he laid down the law, a wistful sort of red herring – a wind chilled warning short of doom “if I did not change…”. So to make a short story, I did. Everything went back to the way it was. Left out became nothing. Our place became spotless. It became his dream. We said we did it together. 

At the time I thought I had discovered something new. Shiny. I thought I was happy - likewise my sister’s own relationship mirroring my very own, (her partner equally obsessively interested in all things clean). Little did I know my life would all come crashing down, and quickly too.

It started innocently enough. For a friend’s mental blues– (her own car seat littered with water bottles and takeout), the girls and I headed to Hawaii to work on a farm. On an incidental tangent I was shocked to find both of my friend's didn't bring a toothbrush which they brushed off (haha) while I worried about how their teeth would get properly cleaned, and when i returned home I saw “our” place was a mess. The very place I had changed for had reverted back into the vague slobbery of easy mistakes, grime, and the clutter he had so quickly deplored in me. It turns out it wasn't an interest in cleanliness my partner had, it was a disatisfaction for all things Me. He didn't care about mess as much as he cared about my mess. He couldn't express his frustrations about our relationship but he could complaim about the dishes. I just didn't see the difference. I remembered then his seeming inability to help me while I adjusted and equally I understood the years of my childhood I had spent scrubbing rot, pulling tree-weeds, organizing thousands of socks once a blue moon, and just generally organizing the endless inexplicable clutter with a bitter sense of ennui you will be hard pressed to find in three children no doubt the result of infinite weekends sacrificed to the cleaning gods as my parents sipped iced tea on the computer pointing to lint on the floor of their 40 year old carpet – my father's words “I shouldnt have to… i pay the house payment” ringing in everyone's ears. Years later it would be my aging mother with a bad back begging for a maid, my entreprenur father – refusing to pay, clean, consider, or help her.

When my ex and I broke up he didn't miss me. The years we had spent together fell away. His parents remarked it was odd how quickly he seemed okay with our departure and in six months he found a new girl. She was his coworker. I again grappled with the grief of such loss working through moving multiple times, each with it removing the heaping piles of clothes and belongings from my life. I started to sell them. Turns out no one wanted them. I struggled stoicly in poverty. Avoided debtors and worried my car would get towed. I felt adrift. I moved in with my sister – because I didn't pay rent I would clean their house, my brother in law’s approval eminent. When on one incident I didn't offer to make my pregnant sister a coffee, rather instead offering her from my own cup, she threw a fit. I apologized without guilt. Her husband later ordering me to clean every night with a crisp morning thank you. I wondered if it was all in my head. Was I ungrateful or was I in fact turning into a cheap imitation of a dime store Cinderella? I had suddenly started paying rent. Everyone had always remarked on my brother in law’s organizational skills. It was legendary and I had in fact once seen him in exasperation order my sister to reorganize the fridge to his liking, his standards,my sister non comply-o-h. With time I cleaned more. I scrubbed deeper. I found meaning not in cleaning but organization, and gratitude through owning less. My sister on the other hand continued to snap at me for minor things like wearing the sweatshirt I had given her from our grandmother and slowly stealing my favorite ring. With newfound poverty I noticed when the maids stole my gold jewelry and misplaced other pieces to throw me off the track. I thought of the old man I had met in serrendiption a year prior when I had once imagined I was in a wildly perfect relationship that bordered on blissful marriage. He explained to me why he believed Bill Murray to be weird and why everyone who read Occam's Razor got rid of their possessions and instead traveled the whole world. It seemed a year later, more desperate than ever, I was right on track. 

With time, I lost interest in all possessions. Maybe it was the crying spells and the running and the emptiness of wondering if I could ever fall in love again? I would stay up and think about my life under the dark, setting ten minutes timers for my nightly naps so I could clean the kitchen and family room to perfection. I noticed something equally unusual, despite their gratitude my sister and her husband didn't clean. They thanked me but they left out shoes and things like perfectly closed chip bags on the couch slumped as the pillows. My own sister the worst offender. I wondered why people so obsessed either directly or with denial with cleaning and aesthetics and home decor were so in denial about their space? I thought of Jordan Peterson telling a nation to clean their room and wondered if it was good advice. But I decided later was it counter intuitive. Cleaning is in fact a false form of control, equally as imposing mess on others. American Materialism of course heightening the stakes. I found one should not focus on cleaning, one should focus on what can be cleaned least and still work in their life. Minimalism was my answer because gratitude worked better than happiness. We of course own so much. It holds us back - and worse we use it to hold other's at bay. Think of the child with a thousand toys strewn across the floor. It is the parent who buys them to avoid playing with their kin. We do not need stuff, and we do not need control. Minimal care an aside obvious. But I didn't write this to tell you, you should sell all your possessions and travel the world with me, I wrote it so that whoever reads it knows that controlling others is the real abuse even if it looks mostly acceptable to the outside world.

[lumierecharity]

A SIGN OF HOPE - THE MIRACULOUS MEDAL

Miraculous medal, front and back

Luky:

THE SEVENTH of November has always been a red letter day in my life, as it marks the birthday of a near and dear one. When she was small she'd be counting the weeks and days leading up to it for months, giving us no chance to forget it.

One year's birthday was probably a lot different. As mother (at the time) of two and expecting her third child in another six months' time, she had enough to occupy her mind.

All the same, I phoned her that morning and she enthused about the lovely gifts her husband had brought her.

Unsuspecting

I on my side had good news too. My own husband, having successfully got over his operation, was coming home the next morning. We mutually expressed our pleasure and rang off.

Little did I know then that I was about to remember November the 7th for quite a different reason.

Just before ten that morning one of the matrons of the local hospital telephoned me. My husband was back in the intensive care unit of the surgical ward, she said, and she was sure I'd be wanting to see him to encourage him as soon as I could.

A nod is as good as a kick to a willing horse, so I went to my boss and got permission to go to the hospital.

Plugged in

Having arrived there I found my husband lying on a bed, tubes and bottles attached to several parts of his body. He was barely able to speak but the matron had explained to me that he had either got a clot in the lung, known a a pulmonary embolism, or in the heart; called a coronary thrombosis.

He had complained of a very severe pain across his chest. "I've nursed Mr Whittle for years", the matron said, "and I know him well enough to be aware that by the time he finally complains there is something seriously wrong."

Strong friend

I can't tell you how kind everyone was. As parents of one of the hospital's student nurses at the time, we received VIP treatment.

My old neighbour grabbed me as I was leaving the hospital on my way to I know not where and steered me back to the ward. She's a nursing sister and midwife and was a tower of strength to me in the eight years we lived next door to each other. It was like living next door to my doctor.

Complicated prang

When I pranged my car that morning, trying to get out of a parking place, three men helped to liberate me. If you gave me five thousand rand to repeat what I must have done to steer my car into such a position, I'd have to decline because I just don't understand how I managed it.

Please pray

Early next morning I telephoned my sister. My husband was on the critical list and my brother-in-law came to the phone and asked what he could do.

"Take all your children to church now on their way to school and have them pray a Hail Mary for their uncle", I pleaded.

He did that and more. That afternoon as I arrived again at the hospital, he was sitting outside my husband's ward. He had taken the day off and spent four hours driving my mother and sister to see me. I've always thought that man was a jewel; now I have proof.

My mother stayed and looked after the children for the next few days, much of which I spent as hospital.

It's good to have a family.

More to come

A second clot was to pass through my husband's lung before his agony was over. I received a letter from my colleagues at the office; all of them had gone into one office and prayed together for my husband's recovery. Everybody was praying, especially the lady who worked for us. 

"I was so scared Mr Whittle was dying", she said.

The younger children, aware of the tension, became unbearable, looking for attention, arguing and quarrelling and crying hysterically over nothing.

Interesting incident

The day I knew things would improve I was seated in a little room outside the intensive care unit, talking to my daughter. I had been given permission to look in at my husband on the half-hour.

She had taken off her miraculous medal and handed it to me to put round her father's neck.

We were talking and I was gesticulating with the hand which held the medal. Suddenly I looked down on my knee, and there to my astonishment I found that the chain had arranged itself into the shape of that peculiar broad flat "M" on the back of the miraculous medal.

People have laughed at my assertions of miracles all my life so I said nothing about it. I wanted to make sure I wasn't mistaken.

'That's odd", I said to my daughter, "What does this remind you of?"

"The M on the back of the miraculous medal", she said. "And look next to it, that's a heart shape, also found on the back of the medal."

"Your father will be all right now", I said after marvelling for a little while, and handed her back her chain. "He won't need this."

I went into the ward and spoke to the heart specialist.

"Your husband is improving", he informed me, "though he's not out of danger yet."

It was all I could do not to tell him he was wrong. With such a powerful patroness as our Lady showing her very personal concern, I knew that no power on earth could prevent my husband from recovering.

Catherine Nicolette

Dad went on to make an uneventful recovery - an amazing turnaround as he had been critically ill. I have great devotion to Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal and both Mom and I received much comfort from the configuration of the chain. Do I believe this was a sign from God? The comfort I received when I saw the symbols of holiness was deep. In that moment I knew: all will be well.

Having been witness to many signs and wonders from God throughout my life, I would encourage you to look out in your own life for those moments in which God is present with comfort and hope.

The Miraculous Medal is a holy devotion which brings special spiritual protection and comfort. Why not find out more?

Visit for petition to Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal

at https://lumierecharitymarian.blogspot.com/2017/08/petition-to-our-lady-of-miraculous-medal.html