#and then you go have a little gay crisis abt that

[kingstrawberry]

tsuki’s glasses getting irreparably cracked in the middle of 2nd year so he’s wearing his old contacts (from middle school) for a few days til he has the time to go get new ones

and kags having a gay crisis every day cuz he’s suddenly realizing how pretty tsuki’s eyes are

tsuki completely clueless cuz kags is suddenly avoiding him and can’t stand to look at him so he thinks he pissed kags off somehow (he always does but this must be more than usual) so he’s asking yachi and hinata abt it

hinata and yachi looking at eo like ‘kags must’ve realized his feelings’ but neither of them are gonna tell tsuki that, so yachi says he has trouble with change so when tsuki gets new glasses it’ll be fine

well the next week tsuki comes back with new glasses that are basically exactly the same as his old ones (the frames are slightly thinner and more square but it’s such a minor difference you’d have to be staring at him to tell) and kags is not fine

now that kags has seen pretty tsuki he can’t unsee it , he’s still avoiding tsuki and hinata and yachi can’t explain it and tsuki’s losing his mind a little bit

even when tsuki tries to annoy kags and get a rise out of him, as soon as kags looks at tsuki he turns away like the sight of tsuki is burning his eyes

tsuki is all grumpy and confused until he’s studying in the classroom with yachi during lunch and she expresses similar confusion abt yamaguchi

tsuki thinks ‘well yea he likes you so ofc he’s all awkward abt it’ but he can’t say that to yachi, he knows yamaguchi has to

yachi kind of :/ and she asks how she’s supposed to go over plays with the team if yamaguchi can’t stand her

and tsuki says smth similar abt not being able to practice blocks against hinata cuz they don’t have anyone to set for them

there’s silence between the two of them for abt ten seconds before it clicks

yachi’s eyes r wide as saucers and tsuki’s head is reeling

she whispers “he doesn’t, he would’ve said” and tsuki responds with a flat “he does and he’s chicken”

yachi is facedown on tsuki’s desk, he’s too distracted by his own problems to complain abt her crumpling his science notes

“but the king would’ve said something, he’s too blunt not to”

yachi gets up from tsuki’s notes w/ a quiet huff “i don’t think he realizes his feelings”

“so i’m just sposed to let him avoid me til he figures it out? we’ll all die of old age”

yachi snorts. “that’s mean.”

“he’s stupid.”

“but you like him too.”

“wha-? i do not!”

“tsukki your ears have been bright red since u figured it out.”

tsuki covers his ears with his headphones. “as if u don’t like yamaguchi.”

yachi sticks her tongue out at him. “at least id admit it!” she covers her face with her hands. “but i can’t even tell him. he runs away from me all the time!”

tsuki shrugs. “i can tell him for you.”

“what? you-? huh?”

tsuki shrugs again. “you figured it out yourself so i may as well help.”

yachi thinks for a sec. “…and i could help you with kageyama.”

tsuki looks offended. “i don’t need help i don’t like him!”

yachis unimpressed. “what abt practice?”

tsuki crosses his arms and pouts, slumping down in his chair, but he doesn’t say anything.

yachi grins and extends a hand out to him. “do we have a deal?”

tsuki closes his eyes and takes a breath between his teeth like he’s in pain. he takes her hand. “deal.”

[razziematazz]

yeah sexy bitches it’s extremely goofy headcanon time

(disclaimer: some of this would be specific to a human and/or modern au, because i love drawing them as humans, love the designs i gave them, and was not yet born in 2000- let alone conscious to remember anything about it. also i like giving them tails, even in the human au. this ended up being very long, so here’s a courtesy cut!)

max goof:

this man is BISEXUAL!!!!!!! he and roxanne were bi4bi, but they (mutually) broke up their senior year of highschool bc roxanne was moving for college across the country. after a bit of time, they went to just being close friends :3

speaking of college: we know that the goof family is poor. THEREFORE, i raise you: max is at college via a full ride scholarship. he worked his ASS off to be able to go to college without having to take out loans or “leech” from his dad, and it paid off!

he’s actually REALLY smart but a lot of people don’t know that bc “oh that’s some alt skater boy. he’s probably scraping by with a C average at best”.

he’s also the only reason bobby has passed any classes since junior year of hs

he came out to goofy the summer after he graduated high school. goofy cried bc he was so happy max trusted him enough with that and threw max 2 parties. he is the type of dad to buy max pride socks and wear a shirt that says “i love my gay son” for all of june. max is more than a little embarrassed, but overall? he loves his dad, and he’s really glad his dad loves him no matter what

idc what yall say he is NOT a little white boy as a human 😭😭😭 was literally jump scared the first time i saw him drawn white bc like i just thought it was agreed upon that he’s a POC

continuing with him as a human: yall will see this when i post my designs, but he’s pierced UP ‼️ he’s got snakebites he wears rings in (outwardly mimicking his buck teeth, since i draw the rings thick), both a madonna and monroe piercing, heavily gauged lobes, a double conch and double helix on his right ear, an industrial on his left, a right eyebrow piercing, and a tongue piercing. i also toyed w the idea of hip piercings but thinking abt dermal piercings makes me genuinely sick so

he also taught himself how to do piercings and pierced bobby’s lobe. a good half of his piercings were done at home. do not follow his example <3

(he tried to pierce his nipples and failed horribly, so he just took out the jewelry bc he was NOT having uneven nipples. this is based on one of my friend’s experiences!)

yall already KNOW he’s got that smudgy eyeliner look going on

that takes about 2 minutes. his hair, however, takes him a good 30! and an ungodly amount of hairspray.

his mom left when he was 5 and he barely remembers her

he and the goof troop became quick friends with tank after the x-games, and max definitely had a hand in tank giving bradley another chance

has a pet king snake and a pet tarantula! he got them when his powerline phase was still SUPER strong and named them both after him/his songs. whenever people ask him to explain their names, he gets lowkey embarrassed

got a matching trap stamp w bobby. peej was going to join too but he chickened out as soon as the needle touched down 😭

(the first time bradley accidentally caught a glimpse of max’s tramp stamp, he malfunctioned, fled the room, and had a crisis)

long, double coated black tail

bradley uppercrust III

closeted gay man

he’s the typical frat boy who’s been with a ton of girls, and he just kind of assumed that sex was a chore people went through and it was supposed to be be kind of unfulfilling for everyone

nah it’s just bc he wasn’t actually attracted to women 😭😭 he didn’t realize that he’s gay until his junior year of undergrad

(max and his stupid mouth full of stupid piercings that pours out stupid words and dumber retorts is what made him realize)

(he was literally like a little boy pulling on his crush’s pigtails and didn’t even realize it until about two weeks after the x-games, when he couldn’t stop thinking about how max still smiled at him and called off the bet afterwards)

on this topic: realizing he was gay caused an absolutely gigantic crisis, especially since he didn’t have a support system at all

(tank needed a lot of time to process everything, and even longer to begin forgiving bradley)

(speaking of that, while bradley was still officially the president of the gamma mu mu fraternity on paper [his dad paid everyone off], tank took over his position after the x-games. bradley was basically ostracized)

the main part of why his being gay was such a horrible realization for him is because his dad is the epitome of conservative. his mom believes queer people are just misled.

oh good lord, now it’s time to talk about his horrible father!!

as we’ve said, bradley’s dad is extremely homophobic. he’s the kind of guy to say spew absolutely every false “fact” or “statistic” and homophobic rhetoric anyone could have, and did this to bradley

he also put insane amounts of pressure on bradley

in the words of myself after watching a sad tiktok:

“[bradley is] so comphet and horrible neglectful parents who put far too much pressure on him core. he’s such a trust fund baby except the people who created that trust aren’t even in his life. he’s so simultaneously absent father and father who is constantly There, in his mind, judging him. he’s so internalized homophobia [because of this]”.

his father is definitely financially abusive btw

while he’s extremely rich, he threatens to take away any and all funding and shut down bradley’s cards at even the slightest hint of failure

being gay wouldn’t just get bradley’s funds cuts, though. it’d get him cut entirely from the family.

he’s meant to be perfect because he’s meant to be exactly like his dad and take over his dad’s place after retirement.

even one mistake would “warrant” his dad yelling at him for hours

bradley’s extreme daddy issues is what caused him to react so strongly to goofy saying “well clearly you don’t understand the bond between a father and son 🙄”

also bradley’s dad is the kind of guy to go for younger girls. he had four wives before bradley’s mom, but would leave them as soon as he found out his spawn was to be a girl instead of a boy. he needed a son to take on his “legacy”, and if they couldn’t provide that, they were worthless

and them being ~21 means they wouldn’t know any better

plus, he believes in the stupid “a woman’s prime childbearing years are 16-23 🤓” bs

so like even as he got older, he kept getting with women in that age range instead of those of his own

aka bradley’s mom was 21 and his dad 36 when they got married and had bradley within the same year.

on this note , bradley’s mom is.. not as bad

she holds the same values as his father, but isn’t nearly as extreme

she wouldn’t disown bradley for him being gay, but she would cry and cry because she thought it was a sign she failed as a mother. she’d beg him to “take it back”

to bradley, this is even worse than his father’s anger, since he was a mamas boy through and through.

she wouldn’t ever stand up to his dad, but even when he was young, bradley understood that it was out of fear

if she could get away with it, his mom would always comfort him after his dad’s outbursts

but if she was caught, his father would yell that all this soft treatment would turn him into a (slur i’m not comfortable saying!) and he needed to learn his lesson

all im gonna say is she blames herself

however, speaking of when bradley was young..

his mom has wavy/curly blonde hair

when he was young, he had the exact same hair as his mom

however, as he got older, his hair got darker

until it eventually became the same shade as his dad’s

bradley knew this made his mom a bit sad, but neither of them commented on it, because they both knew bradley was even more upset

it meant that he was now a near carbon copy of his father- minus his hair still being curly, and his lack of facial hair

however, when he got older and his hair became darker, his dad started pressuring him to straighten it, too

of course, he did, even though he hated it

… and at college, as a very subtle way of rebelling, he stopped straightening his hair until he had to see his father

anywayssss onto lighter headcanons!

(roxanne as well interlude !!)

bradley’s maternal uncle is married to roxanne’s maternal aunt!!

(this has absolutely zero basis btw 😭)

minus tank, roxanne was the closest friend to bradley growing up

his dad wasn’t really happy he was so close to a girl, but since roxanne is family, he let it slide; he’s supposed to be such a good family man, after all! it’s the uppercrust image!

anyways, as i said, they were super close

they would gravitate to each other every family get together (christmas, thanksgiving, etc) and would beg their parents to let them visit each other as often as possible

it was much more common for bradley to visit roxanne’s house than vice versa, since roxanne’s parents just have a feeling about bradley’s father. bradley had no issue with this at all

however.. max knew absolutely nothing about this!

whenever roxanne would say “sorry, i’ve got family over right now, i can’t hang out today”, he just wouldn’t question it

and bradley would passively listen to roxanne talk about her crushes, but since he couldn’t relate, it just sort of went into one ear and out the other

they also started to drift a bit during highschool

roxanne coming out to bradley was.. a lot. but he loves her, and knows she’s the best person he’s ever met, and so slowly, he begins to unlearn what his parents taught

roxanne is extremely proud (lol!) of bradley and bradley is.. feeling a lot of things, but he can’t say hate for others is one of them

for a long time, even when bradley was growing closer to the goof troop, winning back tanks everything, and accepting his feelings for max, roxanne was who bradley could always count on. she’s the person he came out to first, and he actually went to her for boy (max) advice multiple times 😭

she caught on quickly but didn’t mind at all

anyways, neither roxanne nor bradley knew that the other knows max- let alone that they eventually both date him

for the first time max is friends with bradley and roxanne comes back to spoonersville for christmas, max introduces them

except they already know each other.

and instead of “hello, im ___”, what he sees is them absolutely booking it towards each other with an “OH MY GODDDD!! HIIIII!! IT’S BEEN WAYYY TO LONG!! I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN, LIKE, 2 THANKSGIVINGS!!!!! HOWVE YOU BEEEN OMG WE NEED TO CATCH UP!!!!”

they both completely ignore max and he’s stood there absolutely DUMBFOUNDED

he is STUNNED

he is the EPITOME of ?!?!?!

bc what are the chances they know each other?? roxanne is NOTHING like the front bradley puts on, and her parents sure as hell aren’t millionaires

and what are the CHANCES max ends up not only having a crush on, but ends up DATING both?????

more roxanne: curled, medium-short haired, solid ginger tail

back to bradley

secretly loves it when max calls him brad instead of his full name

before max, no one had ever shortened his name

it feels like a separation from himself and the uppercrust name

it feels like he’s his own person, and not just an extension of his father- bradley uppercrust II

it takes him a good while and a few drinks to ever admit this, but afterwards, “brad” stops being only a teasing nickname- it has a new undercurrent of warmth

an everything shower takes him about 2 hours. he has very long, very specific skin care (both face and body), hair care, nail care, and grooming routines

these include the usages of no less than 30 different products

he has glasses but would rather wear contacts or just not be able to see than EVER wear them in public.

curled, very fluffy tail with a white bottom and tan top

(his dad forced him to always be in complete control of his tail; to never let it wag, never tuck it, anything. always hold it up high and steady)

(the only time he would let himself forgo these rules is when he was with only roxanne)

(the first time he felt the tell that his tail was about to wag when with max, he left IMMEDIATELY, and it took a while to unlearn all of this)

bobby zimmeruski

biggest stoner any of them have ever met

he’s high for the entirety of both movies

genuinely uses brainrot speak (rizz, sigma, gyatt, etc)

this spread to max, and eventually pj

…and when bradley caught himself thinking a brainrot word for the first time, he was absolutely MORTIFIED

he refuses to say the words.

however, beret girl is never infected!!

religious game grumps viewer

he tried to be a twitch streamer for like two days

pasty ass mf 😭😭

he has to wear spf100 every single time he goes outside in the summer or he WILL get 3rd degree sunburns

short and short-haired ginger tail

PJ

absolutely, 100% in love with bianca

im talking he’s already saving up for an engagement ring

(she would say yes in a heartbeat)

he stops wearing the beret he’s seen in at the end of the movie after a while

bianca assured him that, although she’s flattered, she’d love him just as much if he stayed the exact same as when they first met

his new found love of poetry is as genuine as can be tho

the designated driver for SURE

the “what the flip” to max’s “what the fuck” and bobby’s “what the sigma”

(PJ very rarely curses bc his dad does often. if yall didn’t know, his dad. erm. canonically sucks!! not as badly as bradley’s, but his dad is the “your kids should respect (FEAR) you” type)

has a short haired, black bobtail

beret girl

her name is bianca roan greene (b for beret, roan bc i like it, and g for girl)

she goes by roan bc i want her to escape being BG

(credit to Lian_mail on ao3 for the roan part!!)

also bi but leans heavily towards women

she’s a psychology major

she bonds with max over piercings bc she’s also got a few non-standard piercings!

she’s got double lobes, a helix, a forward helix, a conch and a daith on both sides

she wants a nose piercing but feels like, in regards to her future field of work, she’s already pushing her luck with all of the ear piercings

they’re partially why she wears her hair so long

by far the best at advice and the most level-headed out of the (extended, which includes her, roxanne, bradley, and tank) goof troop

has a long, smooth, long-haired tail the same color as her hair

[esorxy]

word of honor ep31 is something else entirely

they get intercepted on their rescue mission and just as the assassin people were about to rush forward and start stabbing, guess who appears spinning out of nowhere to save his beloved one true soulmate its wkx wearing hot red robes with sexy red eyeshadow, who boomerangs his little paper fan and slices their throats all in one go, does another little spin for dramatic flavour and slowly flutters down like an autumn leaf in the wind, successfully making the most replayed segment of the episode 🍃

and then everything he says from this moment on is like "fuck you, im better than you, eat shit" and DPJ is like "yeah ur cool and all but you're only one person" as if he didnt just kill half your men in one swipe while flying. anyway then zzs is like "who said hes alone" and steps out of his little carriage looking like hes about to die. like bro!! you cant even stand chill tf out. wkx comes over and holds his boyfriend and gets full on whiplash from switching too fast between (1) gazing lovingly at zzs and (2) murderous stares assassin gvng.

then like 3000 ghosts come out from the forest looking for a nice fight with 20 men, half of whom are dead, and the rest of them just dip like nope not today

they all kneel for our favourite gays and then wkx kneels as well and zzs, who still looks like hes abt to collapse and die, is like "fuck yeah im still influential" and awkwardly pats wkx's head like hes some overgrown puppy, which is not entirely inaccurate ykwim

so our power couple gets like 20 more kids for the price of none, and head back to god knows where to meet 😱 some more gays😱 one of them is a healer and the other looks like asian robert sean leonard so... whats new 😮‍💨

wkx finds some time to wipe off his eyeshadow and everyone is ready to die for zzs suddenly, and wkx goes from 🥺 "a-xu is gonna live??" to walking back into ghost valley in the blink of an eye without even changing clothes. scorpion king is also there 😱😱 i didnt even know they were working together cos i skipped all of the boring old people scenes. the twinks face off in some intense power play conversation where everyone wants to top, wkx has a mid life crisis in his pajamas featuring genocide and suicide but then hes like but SOMEONE taught me to live love laugh aka im in love, finishing off a killer episode that fully lives up to the drama part of chinese drama. my man needs to be locked up. in a mental hospital.

bonus: zzs in ep32, freshly injured from having metal hooks stabbed through his shoulders, is like "noooo little girl don't you know i need alcohol to live???" huge announcement everyone youve dedicated your lives to following an alcoholic 🤦

twink healer is like "bro u cant even taste shit" and james wilson is like "remember when u wanted me to find u a cute gf... but turns out... (ur gay)"

omg i wanted to stop, but like the dramatic clown ass scenes just keep coming what can a girl do 🤷

so zzs goes back to serving face (not that he ever really stopped) and he overhears that wkx is about to be forced off a cliff 😱. so flutters into this 50v1 fight with about 2% of the dramatic flair that wkx has, steps up to kiss him except they cant cos censorship, and is like "me n u against the world babe." 🤦

yby comes too cos this drama is tiresome and neverending, and wkx is like "im tired, kill me 🫠", which is so relatable, but then he puts up a damn good fight before falling off the cliff from one tiny needle through the heart. zzs also jumps after him and everyone is like 😱 even though they can literally fly.

but hes dead (not rly) so zzs burns his corpse by kicking a lamp at it and sits at the cliff to reminisce the good old times when he was a hobo and wkx followed him around like a clingy wife. he relapses into alcoholism and pulls all his nails out aaaand this is just romeo and juliet with gay and dramatic flair 😮‍💨

when do they stop serving face honestly like im fed up 🤦

[raspberrysmoon]

tell me about your 5k golden treasure fic please 🥺

HELO ANON YES I WILL IMMSO SORRY IF YHIS IS HARD TO READ IM AT THE POUNT IN MY NIGHT WHERE MY HANDS DONT WORK !!!!! HERE IT IS !!! THE INFO!!!!

( @paranormaltheatrekid (oh fcku syd i just rememebred you dont like to be tagehd in non aks game stuff ia m so sorry) )

- so, mischa it is a fic!! its about two hatchetfield/starkid characters named eddie and charles. theyre gay 👍👍👍 (not canonically but. in my heart)

- its gonna be multichap? probably about 4-6 chapters by the end? probably about 7-11k words i hope but lets be honest. little lamb was supposed to be like a 3k word fic

- eddie has!!!!!! horses!!!!!!! oh how i love horsies. their names are tatiana and cheddar. tati is a full horse (5'6" at her shoulder) and cheddar is a pony! hes a little bastard boy <3 charles is not a fan of these horses. charles is scared of heights 👍

- they have sex befote they ever put a label on it. uhm. its not explicit (#asexual) but they DO and eddie actually was so drunk that he forgets abt it for a while. he does eventually figure his shit out but it takes a second <33

- the petname "treasure" DOES show up. i will die on this hill forever and ever. "good treasure" "my treasure" etc. you get the point

- eventually im going to get charles wine-drunk and im going to shove him face first into a crisis. a love crisis. this hasnt been written yet but i can see it in my brain

"oh, god. he's in love with eddie chiplucky. fucking hell.

calling it a crush is too juvenile, calling it love is too serious. he's out of words already. normally, he has a bigger vocabulary than this."

^ that kind of thing

- im basing eddies vocab and mannerisms after my dads side of the family. southern but we're in the midwest actually. hes southern but in the midwest actually. he says howdy and has that twang and i will DIE ON THIS HILL

- i am making charles immune compromised. argue with the wall. this bastard gets sick so fast. and probably also has huge dietary restrictions so try and help it. he gets sick several times in the fic

- oh yeah and the fic spans like six months of time. so. yeag. they have sex the first time like halfway thru. and the put a label on it like a week later. this part is the furthest i have written :]

- eddie gets a raise of about. 10k. by the end. he doesnt really make that much money guys. hes going crazy w this extra 10k a year he doesnt know whats happening

- neither do i. what the ehck am i saying anytmoer. is this ledgible?

[linkedin-corp]

wait i love ilaw actuslly hes so little guycore. tell us more

EEEEE HIIII . im so glad u asked abt him cuz for the past week or so ive been frothing at the mouth thinking about him and his little gaggle of freaks . tho tbh he is Not really little guy and moreso shadow the hedgehog but in sky:cotl form. its hilarious and i hate him (affectionate)

however unfortunately im one of those people who if i dont know everything there is to know about the lore of a media im super into i just start making stuff up . and sky is one of those occasions . so bare with me

so starting off explaining some sky:cotl lore for those that know absolutely nothing about it . basically . in the lore, wayyy before you (the player) exist , the world of sky was prosperous and full of life and everything was running smoothly like silk butter

but eventually a corrupt fella came around and became a dictator and ruined everything for everyone, dark dragons began to show up and basically strip everyone of their light (which turns them to stone or just straight up kills you)

so (starting to make things up from here on out bcus im not sure if its true to canon or not), when the darkness started to fall, the wasteland elder was at the frontlines of the war that ended up happening, and got sealed away like all the other elders after the war was lost but not killed completely.

ilaw was a high ranking soldier under the wasteland elder and considered them one of his greatest friends (totally not in a gay way) , and it was hard to ever find them apart

ilaw tried to protect his elder (i use the name 'tsadi' for the wasteland elder even though thats confirmed not canon, i still like that its a thing thats in the wiki and its a nice name) tsadi, but ended up failing

tsadi gave light to ilaw so he could continue going on and fighting the war (well. moreso 'run away and save yourself',) but ilaw didint want to leave tsadi behind, and ended up falling right before tsadi did

fast forward to current day (like. hundreds or thousands of years in the future, im unsure how long of time had passed between the shattering and current day in sky), a colleague of ilaw that was revived finds him and offers him light so he isnt trapped anymore

cue ilaw having a massive identity crisis about the fact he fucked up and did not keep himself safe like tsadi wanted OR keep tsadi safe , and failed his duties to keep his people safe in general

so he ends up spending mostly ALL of his time in wasteland, brooding over the fact that pretty much everything is different now and everyone he used to know is either dead or missing

bcuz of this though , he ends up meeting a moth (what people call "new players") there, after saving them from a krill (dark dragon). this of course causes said moth to become attached at his heel and they never leave after that. accidental moth adoption

it helps him heal somewhat, because for awhile he was very closed off and secluded and would only really talk to his colleague, or others that he considered close friends (which. at the time after his revival, wasnt very many)

eventually, said moth heads back to wasteland after building up the courage and makes it through. though, when she returns, they tell ilaw that they saw tsadi there in the temple. it does make him go into shock for awhile and for a bit after that he doesnt head back into the wastelands due to immense terror. 💔 aand the healing process restarts

so. lots of war trauma and gay longing and tragedy . ive cried over these idiots a few times and i love them to death .

but i do have a couple more small facts about ilaw ! or other thoughts i had written down ect ..

he finds the skykids of current day a tad bit annoying right after he gets revived but eventually softens because the hustle and bustle is comforting . something something lots of background noise so he doesnt have to think about his own problems

i also often imagine him easily beating the shit out of the krill in wasteland . but he wouldnt attempt that in current day because i doubt he trusts himself not to get fucked up again plus hes too busy thinking about tsadi

just. sits utop the crumbled forts and grumbles to himself while imagining himself beating up krill . hes literally shadow the hedgehog but in sky form . if he knew what kinning was he would kin that guy

[teekays]

For the ask thing … np 💗💗💗

NP... thank you i was hoping someone would ask this one i have a LOT to say. clocking in to my shift at the she/her-ing male professional athletes factory

First impression

first impression was Wow Pretty but also i was not a flyers appreciator at the time so i was like well. okay. whatever. it was right around the time of the vegas trade and i was doubly not a vegas appreciator so even tho she was sooo gorg i wasn't super invested. also at one point between like getting into hockey and getting into tknp i made a joke tweet abt how we need an nhl player who listens to car seat headrest and one of my mutuals was like "we already have that it's nolan patrick" and that was like... a flame held to my soul. the interest really sparked there

Impression now

my best friend. my beaft. i think she is wildly misunderstood by a lot of people but the people who Get It really and truly get it... she's a princess she's just some guy she's a bitch she's a lover she's a child she's a mother she's a sinner she's a saint. i love it when girls are kind of mean and love to lie and get embarrassed over the tiniest things like having normal human emotions and they actually care so much despite trying really hard to look like they don't care <3 i love that she's very like... very guarded and reserved (or attempts to be) but also sometimes you catch moments of her like not being able to help her reactions. betrayed by your own fond smiles and blushy cheeks!!! i also think she is much sillier than we give her credit for and that is underutilized. locker room dance you will always be famous

Favorite moment

aforementioned locker room dance... "dove original. it's ladies"/"it's not ladies. but it is dove original.".... all of her old tweets especially "now THATS a sandwich people".... "don't ask about my rosy cheeks".... also signing nico's name at the draft. are you gay or something

Idea for a story

it's a cop out to say vip room so i will say i have a silly little draft going about computer repair secretary tk and Watching Gay Porn About His Sexuality Crisis nolpat that is making me giggle alyssa edwards style as i write it

Unpopular opinion

SHE IS FINEEE SHES NOT SAD SHES NOT CRYING HERSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT we need to put an end to the nolan patrick sadposting industrial complex. she is living her life. she's hanging out w friends. and the trade was actually a good thing! philly was kind of a terrible place for him to be w all his injuries and stuff because their doctors were shit and there were a lot of issues w privacy and stuff and people just being kinda mean about him that imo was unproductive! a fresh start is a good thing! even if it means you have to leave your weird little soulmate haven't you guys ever heard of phone sex. also yeah estrogen would fix her

Favorite relationship

i am obviously a tknp diehard til i die like absolutely perfect vibes. my exact type of pairing i always fall for. that being said the nico nolan dynamic was sooo good to me she was really out there blushing and giggling in front of god and everyone trying to get a good grade in Making A Cute Boy Laugh. and she DID!

Favorite headcanon

i know he lies about not enjoying a fruity little cocktail. i know it in my heart. get the lychee martini nolan it's FINE

[wlwanakin]

since you said to be more specific if i wanted to know more then can you talk abt what youve mapped out of grells and madams relationship? redcliff is my otp so i would love to hear what you think of the red murder wives

ok so!! my biggest thing w them is that to me they are just. horrible for each other. they are soulmates they are tied together by the red string of fate but god is it unhealthy. like if u build a relationship off of brutally murdering ppl ur not gonna have a healthy dynamic i’m sawrry (ESPECIALLY when it ends with murder. u don’t kill ur gf that casually if ur relationship is healthy). there’s so little content of them but the bits we see seem pretty tumultuous (i base a lot off that one rainbow butler one shot bc that shit was so gay but sooo toxic it’s scrumptious) so i just run with it! they’re both very mentally ill and homicidal that shit was doomed from the start

the whole relationship like a slow build from their first meeting bc anne is immediately like Live With Me and they’re inexplicably drawn to each other (read: horny) but it’s a slow evolution from yearning and going marginally insane and probably like drunk making out they refuse to talk abt after to insane love confessions and kinda just running with the idea that they’re basically married. and the whole time it’s just a constant flux between desperately needing each other always and divorce worthy fighting. so much divorce worthy fighting.

grell falls HARD like really fucking hard like despite being the world’s worst gf she’s also more invested. she has insane tunnel vision for anne like she abandoned her whole life for her so ofc she does!! it’s a genuine obsession and it’s so unhealthy and she’s desperately needy and anytime it feels like it may be crumbling she goes hard on trying to sabotage bc she will not leave until the bridge is burnt to fucking ASH (she’s also insanely impulsive abt it like the minute she regains common sense she’s just like “why did i do that” and then wants to rekill herself so bad).

anne is very very infatuated but she’s kind of the normaler party in the sense that she can have a life outside of grell (and grell does not like that). she’s a workaholic abt the murder and also about the Being An Aunt and she’s having a crisis of morality at all times and this makes her very preoccupied but also lowkey without grell she’d kill herself. grell is like her key to being able to live with herself morally it’s like. “no one will love me with how horrible i’m being but this bitch not only loves me but also condones my atrocities!! if she leaves me i’m blowing up the world.” but the thing is she’s confident enough that grell Won’t leave her to not be as invested in her. and she’s also not afraid to be a frigid bitch when she’s pissed at her and can be so extremely hot and cold about everything it’s absolutely insanity inducing.

they’re stuck in this insane loop of being madly in love, anne kinda zoning out of everything and getting cold, grell vying for attention via acting out or manipulation or cheating or something, Big Fight, and then back to being madly in love and they NEVER WANNA STOP bc they understand each other so deeply and fundamentally in a way no one else ever will!! they enable the worst parts of each other and they feel so safe with each other. they’re each other’s home but god that home is the worst place you’ve ever stepped foot in.

there’s also an internalized homophobia layer going on for sure that definitely does not help things. esp bc anne was probably grell’s bi awakening. i always write madam red as a lesbian who has already unpacked that and dealt with it so while she has like. period typical internalized homophobia it’s way less of a Thing for her. but for grell it’s just like Oh God What Is Happening Why Do I Want To Live In Her Skin What Are The Gender Implications Of This I Am Having A Bad Time!! so like the double whammy of a full blown sexuality crisis and first time doing commitment r driving her a little insane the whole time.

it also makes grell nerfing anne a lot less random in my brain. she just snapped in that moment and it was a 2.5 year buildup of frustration that she just let loose bc she felt like she was being rejected and like all her fears of abandonment were being confirmed and she kinda just lost it. i don’t even think she fully gets why she did it tbh it kinda just happened and she ran with it and processed it all two hours later and was like “oh shit i’m going to pretend that won’t make me wanna die forever” but it’s also just a response to a constant pattern of Fucking Everything Up So Bad Now, Kiss And Make Up Later except oopsies it was fatal this time!!!

basically when the relationship is good it’s perfect and idealistic and amazing in every way and when it’s bad it’s the worst fucking relationship you’ve ever seen. it’s a mess they’re a mess it’s so fun!!

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Resurrect Bracket (Losers Bracket) Side A

ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to [make it to the finals]

Propaganda below ⬇️

Javert Propaganda:

His whole deal is like, “can someone still be good even if they’ve broken the law? Can you still be godly if you’re a felon” He really believes that by upholding the law, he is absolutely in the moral right all the time. And when he realizes that’s not true, it absolutely destroys him

he is the law and the law is not mocked <3 he is also. so gay. i’m sorry i refuse to believe you’re even a little heterosexual if you chase jean valjean for like over 20 years for breaking parole and/or bread theft and recognise him by his muscles and have a major moral crisis as soon as he’s nice to you one (1) time also he gets called out by a child that one time?? that was fun ALSO HE UHH???? THINKS HE SCREWED UP ONE TIME AND LIKE. ASKS HIS BOSS TO FIRE HIM???? (the boss is valjean he doesn’t know that yet dw abt it) also uh uhm. he jumps into a river,,,, but before he does that he feels the need to put his hat on the fence nearby so it doesn’t get wet lmao he’s so silly goofy <3333

Leon Propaganda:

Listen, I picked no because I have no clue what’s going through the creator’s head but this man is so fucking Catholic-coded. Like the whole game is, he’s literally a priest, the main character is a priest. There’s another priest. I know nothing about Catholicism but even I can see, as plain as day, how fucking Catholic-coded this shit is. You save the game with Clay Mother Mary Dolls. Anyways, I don’t have a good explanation because I have no brain cells hope this helps. 👍

HE BECAME A PRIEST AFTER DEALING WITH ALCOHOLISM, HE HAS A FUCKED UP CHILDHOOD, HE HAS A FUCKED UP BIBLE THAT KEEPS DOING FUCKED UP THINGS, HE GOT KILLED BECAUSE OF THIS BIBLE, HE HAUNTS THE NARRATIVE OF THE GAME, HE GAVE THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THE GAME FAITH, THEY KEEP THAT FAITH BECAUSE OF HIM, THE ENTIRE GAME IS A REVENGE PLOT BECAUSE OF HIM AND THAT GAY ASS BIBLE. I’M ABOUT TO START CHEWING ON DRYWALL.

[nerd-at-sea5]

the last s2 chaos dump post. spoilers ahead

also i think i just lost my shit while watching this ep

oh all of his joy is abt to go away SO FAST

FUCK WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY????

LOTTIE BABES PUT DOWN THE POISON-

shauna. shauna. SHAUNA.

van tai nat the judge-y lesbians of all time <333

yeah lisa's dying.

TAISSA'S LITTLE THUMBS UP IM DYING I LOVE HER SO MUCH

hate to say it but misty's right lottie pls get some therapy

nat defending her wife (kinda?)

'we got over it' *taissa's head tilt* oh nat honey none of you got over it

oh my god the look of terror when misty tells lottie nat drew the queen

MISTY STOP FUCKING SMILING WTAF

SHE NEVER WANTED THIS!! THEIR MAKING A GOD OUT OF A GIRL WHO DOSEN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING!! AAAAA

ok technically shauna started the cannibalism

nat....MISTY STOP LYING WTF OH TAIVAN :))

#letnataliescatorcciodecksomeone1996

ok no give him time to greive.

....at least their taking off his clothes first?

thank you natalie

HAND SHAKING HAND SHAKING. REMORSE OR WANT???

do not. do this. while fucking. blindfolded.

and after all of it, van is still squimish about blood....gonna sob

van is making some painfully good points rn

she's dulling down the knifes...SCRATCHED OUT EYES.

jeff YOU are on tv...callie's facial expressions alone i love her-LMFAO SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE THE GUN IS-

KILL THE CREEPY COP!! LET THE WILDERNESS DECIDE IT.

nat's trying to protect lisa....she's so dead!!! oh my god nat and lisa im gonna s o b

BEN BAD FUCKING TIMING ALSO GOOD GOD THATS A LOT OF BLOOD-

he wants to go with her because he think she's not like them but she wont let herself go with because she thinks SHES WORSE.

van's minor case of insanity should not be as hot as it is.

ok she's phrasing it weirdly but she has a point

walter's gonna kill kevyn.

HAHA I KNEW IT

'are you one of the cult people' 'no i'm from the shire'

HA JEFFREY.

his heart is so small....OH SWEET FUCKING LORD.

yeah ok ive gotta fast forward that. DUDE IT WAS RAW.

misty i'm rlly not liking you rn

van just kicking the fire ily

FUCK CALLIE NO RUN. OH SHE HAS A GUN. SHOOT HIM.

vannnnnnnnn OH she wants to die-nvm.

it's gonna be nat i stfg and im gonna die

this gives me to much anxiety oh good god. lottie??

NO NOT AGAIN.

SHAUNA????????????

fucking hell.

WALTER KILL HIM.

CALLIE SADECKI GODDAMN

'it was vans idea' *the face of bitch pls*

AYE VAN PRINCESS BRIDE NERD CANON.

ben?

oh lottie-wait i wanna hear van's story....

it's van or nat. nvm it's nat. CALLED IT.

FUCK NATALIE OK-

lottienat pls makeout NOW challange. BOTH timelines.

IM SO SORRY NAT BABE THAT IS THE FACE OF GAY PANIC

ben watching like: i do not understand lesbians, also. i want to die.

nat you want to kiss her so bad, ur also having a midlife crisis at 17

omfg akilah's little curtsy and the way she and nat smile at each other

misty it was cute but the way ur looking at her makes me think you want to kill her

fuck. damnit lisa.

misty if you do this i will forever hate you.

SHIT NAT'S DYING-

yep. misty i hate you. idgaf if it was an accident.

JAVI??

just when she wanted to live. SHES NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

pls tell me shes got like a tolerance to this stuff?? pls.

SHIT HELLO SOPHIE THATCHER.

IM SHAKING OH MY GOD

'this is exactly where we belong' no, no you deserve to live you just haven't realized it yet.

LOTTIE?!?!!? IM HAVING A FUCKING STROKE

jesus the way she's smiling at her. she just wants to help!!

fuck she's actually dead.

i am so fucking furious right now.

god van's entire face is just 'it's supposed to be me.'

FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WAHT THE FUCK BEN WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS BEN

van palmer i should not find this hot.

VAN GET THE FUCK OUT

hey at least their warm now right

[pstelwitchcraft]

Critical Role - C3E52 (before break)

Its so weird to have just 4 people on the table I'm squirming

Poor Imogen just keeps taking L's man my girl can't catch a break

That little "please be okay" 🥺

Very worried about both imogen and laudna whenever they're separated but I guess that's precisely the point

And these are some damn good combinations

Already miss orym, ashton and laudna tho :(

I have a feeling the leylines are going haywire right now and that's why magic can't travel long distances

And/Or they're in the Shadowfell and it's hard for it to go to a different realm right now

Not even Dorian??? Yep, it's the leylines

I LOVE shoebills! Google their call, it sounds like a machine gun

Why do they keep getting attacked by subterranean monsters?? I swear it's a pattern at this point

Oooooo we're in a pretty snowy battlescape i love getting to fight in Santa's backyard

I love ashley's surprised little "ooooh! Oooh!" everytime she has to go

Yesss dominate beast!

Love how they always think matt's abominations are cute, i get it, it IS kinda cute

Damnit i thought we could get a pet :(

NO FCG! No, don't- don't do it- FUCK WHY

42 POINTS OF DAMAGE?? WHAT IN THE NAME OF-

Ya'll what if half the party TPKs. What then?

Imogen continues to be the hottest, like yes babe blow. Shit. Up

Yesssssss we have guests!!

It's Christian and Aabria!!!!!!!!

It's so cute all of them hugging 🥺🥺

Does this mean we're officially not gonna see the others until April??? Kinda sad I'm not gonna lie but I get it

These are COOL FUCKING CHARACTERS

Buff automaton 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Nick Jonas spiritual weapon 🤣🤣🤣

The hottest legendary mage ever you heard it first here folks

Aabria is always so fun she's my girl too

I always get lost staring longingly at her tho

She's just so prettyyy

EXU was a doozy for my gay self with all the pretty makeup she had as a DM

It's going to be so fun to see FCG finally meet another automaton

Why do i get a feeling he's gonna be horny towards this buff robot? It's something in his eyes, he's plotting some bullshit

AAAAAND my girl fearne gets the hdywtdt

"Oooh, hello!"

I love her sm obliterate him queen

Old lover??? I love Deanna already 😍

Fcg and this robit rn:

Omg fcg is such a little shit stirrer

Fearne is gonna end up banging the new gnome isn't she

I feel like she's gonna bang the gnome

Oh it's been HUNDREDS of years??? I keep forgetting Chet is OLD old

I'm getting worried yall

The gods are being affected by this already?? A day ago??? I'm scareeed

I hate/love that flesh tongue is now canon, sams bullshit always gets carried away from even him i swear

The robot is a flirt 🤣🤣

The energy at the table right now is WILD

Not the HAT 😂😂😂 I am BAwLInG why is aabria so good at being a petty scorned lover 🤣🤣

Awn poor deanna 😞

This is gonna be awesome we now have this character that has been so close to divinity and can show them so much abt the perspective of life and death

Love the backstory dump

Feel like im walking around the hub in a videogame asking every NPC a 1000 questions

Oh my god this robot is so sweet 🥺🥺 i love him

Also VERY obviously sentient and emotional I'm SO interested to understand more abt the great awakening of the bots

Like, why would it happen? Who or what did this??

Oooooh that's what frida means??

I'm SO curious to know what FCG rrally means if anything

Love the cadence Christian gave this robot, i feel like the movements and voice are pretty monotone but not so much that it even feels robotic?? But it's still like something A.I would probably create? Like google translate voice but better.

Also I ship f.r.i.d.a and deanna a lot btw

Chet is going through it right now and honestly i feel like he deserves it 😂

FCG is such a little toddler trying to understand like and it never fails to be both adorable and terrifying

A killer robot with an existential crisis just does not feel good to me fellas

Love the confusing time frames at weekly d&d tables we really could be doing this for a month or a year we have no clue

Yall i'm nervousss there's GOTTA be another shoe about to drop

Like there HAS to be, right? It can't all be alright?? We saw shit blow up, we saw the key go off, so what happened?!

What do you mean imogen's scars are turning red???

[murlocks]

hello I'm your competitor in the failboy contest and please tell me about Jeremy I want to hear about your cringefail vampire guy if you're okay talking about him

HI okay yes im always okay talking about him i made a propaganda post abt him but i can probably think up more to say i always have more to say about him

first things first: i hate him. (/pos) i want to wrap him in a rug and roll him down a flight of stairs he is an absolute wet paper bag of a man and i am never not thinking about him.

hes an absolute pussy but hes also an adrenaline junkie so he purposefully provokes his murderous cannibalistic vultureguy boyfriend simply for the entertainment. hes gay and god wont let him die so he finds getting an attractive man to try and kill him quite the emotionally fulfilling activity. asher (his boyfriend) is a little bit fucked up (/pos) so he goes along with it but they both know jeremy will be completely fine its stress relief for both of them tbh

second: some backstory. fair warning for like . vampire-typical religious trauma?? i dunno tbh

he was raised in like . a classic religious town and he was very much a juvenile delinquent so ppl around town didnt really like him and it only got worse when he got turned bc of course everyone in that town was raised to think that vampires were horrible abominations that go against god or whatever stupid shit you can think of theyve probably been taught that. so he kinda internalized all that and obviously when he got turned against his will he had a horrible crisis of faith and was questioning what he did to deserve this fate. obviously if vampires are bad and hes a vampire that means hes bad and he did something to deserve getting turned into one. yeah that boys a little fucked up in the head.

he got chased out of town once he was discovered to be a vampire. after he got turned, he went back home and locked himself away for about a week trying to process it and didnt come out bc he felt like shit physically (obviously, he literally just died and got turned into a vampire, i would feel a little ill about it too) but eventually his like . one singular friend he had in town came to check on him because hed been missing for a while and he told them everything because he thought he could trust them, he told them "there was this guy who attacked me a couple nights ago and i passed out and i woke up in the middle of the street the next morning and the sun hurt and ive been so hungry ever since but none of the food ive eaten has helped and i dont know whats going on. everything hurts and i feel so sick i dont know whats wrong" and his friend is like. Oh. Oh Fuck . and they run off under the guise of finding him medicine/food/whatever but of course instead of doing what they said they would they go straight to one of the towns religious leaders and they gather up a bunch of people to either kill him or chase him out of town.

he escapes, narrowly, but now hes got nowhere to go. hes never left his little town, he has no family or friends to go to, hes basically screwed. he finds himself wandering for days on end just kinda contemplating his life (and beating himself up for getting turned in the first place, because OBVIOUSLY its gotta be his fault somehow. he mustve done something wrong for his friend to be so eager and ready to turn on him its gotta be his fault) and eventually he stumbles upon this little desert town in the middle of nowhere. theres a big old abandoned mansion on a cliff overlooking the town, and, of course, jeremy, the overdramatic (like, theater kid levels of dramatic) idiot that he is, goes, "oh! thats perfect! ill live there!"

and he lives there pretty much undisturbed for approximately 20 years. he has absolutely zero human contact because hes scared of hurting people and he subsists off animal blood from the meager livestock the townspeople own. hes not doing too hot mentally of course, hes a trainwreck with literally nothing to do but sit alone in his house and listen to his own thoughts, but he survives, at least.

until, one day, asher, (my boyfriends oc), one very curious citizen of the nearby town, accepts a dare to go explore the abandoned mansion at the top of the cliff. theres rumors spreading that its haunted, and surely he would earn some respect from his peers if he could survive a night there, right? he can prove theres nothing too dangerous there at all.

until he opens the door. and awakens a very disgruntled vampire from his midday nap.

and the rest is history.

part three: boyfriend endeavors. serious warning for violence and vampire-typical "cannibalism" and less vampire-typical Actual Fucking Cannibalism. also fair warning jeremy and ashers relationship dynamic is more than a little fucked up but theyre both aware of it and its all fully consensual because they are both more than a little fucked up

for a while, they both believe the other is a Completely Normal Guy (albeit, asher is a seemingly Normal Guy with massive fuck-off bird wings and jeremy is. well hes jeremy, but still) until one night jeremy is out and about trying to find some source of food in the town, climbing across rooftops and shit and all of a sudden he stumbles upon asher, elbows deep in a human corpse and absolutely covered in blood. he has the end of a bone sticking out of his mouth. this is completely normal Asher Behavior but jeremy is not aware of that. he loses his footing on the roof he is standing on and goes tumbling down into the street.

asher turns around to look at him and hes got this crazed look on his face and jeremy is just staring at him trying to figure out what the fuck hes supposed to say in this situation because he just fucking walked in on his one and only friend literally Eating A Person but he has no room to judge and asher looks more attractive covered in blood than he has any right to be and jeremy does not have time to unpack all that.

so, after a solid minute of staring at each other, jeremy goes "so. uh. you gonna finish that?" and asher bursts out laughing.

he explains his whole vampire situation and asher explains that he does not have any such situation hes just a bit fucked up and he enjoys eating bones. you know what, fuck it, hes a vulture guy, it makes sense. kinda. whatever. jeremy cant judge.

at this point in time, jeremy is still very much ashamed of who and what he is. he is more than aware that the animal blood he is surviving off of is not very nutritious whatsoever and if he wants any type of proper quality of life hes gonna have to feed off of an actual human person someday. hes not looking forward to it. but asher is just?? fucking sitting there?? eating literal human bones just because he feels like it????? and jeremy doesnt know how to process that. hes morally opposed to it but instinctually he knows thats what he should be doing. and from there on out asher actively endeavors to get jeremy to be less catholic guilt-y about the whole thing. he genuinely doesnt give a fuck and it gives him a headache to see jeremy being all stressed about it so he makes it his life mission to absolutely destroy that boys morals. and it works. it fucking works.

asher is such a horrible influence and he has made jeremy so much worse from an outsider standpoint but jeremys mental health is so much better with ashers involvement in his life and theyre so horrible for each other but theyre also a perfect match. they drive me insane.

ive probably missed a lot in this post and i have so much more i could say about him and asher but thats whats on my brain right now. theyre both so fucked up i hate them (/pos)

[strawberrylovebug]

ONE MORE POST FOR THE Q SORY SORRY SORYY

HER <333 OKAY? DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND? DO YOU UNDARSTAND>???? /ref

the way she smiles, the wya it holds me and tells me everythings gonna be okay when i hav a breakdown, the way she baps me on the head when i tell puns the way she looks at me when i gush to her abt my special interests, the

OKAY DONT FUKCING LOOK AT MEEEE

and i had a mini crisis over this so ur not allowde to be mean to meeee okay? <3 but yeagh im not bisexual i just have a fucking EXCEPTION when it comes to her OKAY???> FUCK YOU. im allowd! im allowed to like 1 (one) wamen i thinks. sory

i refuse to go back and edit typos fuck you fuck you IM TIRED AND IN GAY LOVE FOR A SINGULAR WOMAN SHUT THE HELL UP. IM NOT BEING NEUROTIC!!!! YOURE BEING NEUROTIC!!!!!!!!! I NEED SLEEEEEEP

i aem so sorry for my illness, please forgive me im jus a little guy ok??

[heartburstings]

what r ur guys's headcanons/theories for post-bare? mine is that matt has a sexuality crisis and has a crush on peter and is like, "how soon is too soon" but inflicts catholic guilt upon himself whenever he thinks like that so he just never makes his move, esp bc like. who the hell is he going to go for advice. bc the last advice guy he had made him homophobic so.

and u think this wouldn't be an issue bc like, after they graduate, how much would they see each other actually? but surprise! there's like way too much drama surrounding ivy's pregnancy and what she should do abt it. even tho it's like. nobody's business but yk how ~society~ can be. so the group sticks together and supports her in her decisions, so like, while it's tense bc. matt's there. he's also allowed to be there bc matt's valedictorian (allegedly) straight altar boy status helps them out in reasoning/arguing with whatever rando pta adult takes issue with ivy's decision-making, even when she hasn't made a goddamn decision yet.

speaking of. matt also has "how soon is too soon"-itus with ivy. he's like, well clearly she can't stand to be in the same room w me, but :( i wuv her :( [is repressing his gay realizations]. meanwhile ivy n nadia are eating chips and casually cussing out jason's dad for trying to pressure ivy into keeping the baby as if being the father's father even matters. he's like having 3 different crises in his little chair and everyone else is just chilling and bitching. he's like "how soon is too soon... no. i don't deserve him. not after what i did. and especially not ivy. they all deserve better than me... why am i here..." just brooding in the cvs aisle while peter asks him if he's got cash on him to help pay for ivy's shit bc he's a few bucks short. lucas takes a passing glance at him one day and is like jesus christ dude you need weed so bad and matt's like haha no ty :] i'm a good catholic boy. and lucas is like ok dude but lmk if u change ur mind i'll see u later. and now matt has 1 more thing to brood about even tho he has 0 qualms abt stealing church wine

[ideally-idyllic]

☆•°About me°•☆

Hiii, my name is Idyllic, my pronouns are he/him xe/xem and I'm gay and trans (ftm)! Here's some stuff about me!! :D

Interests:

Music (fav bands/artists are Los Campesinos!, Djo, Insane Clown Posse, Tom Lehrer, Melanie Martinez, Korn, Limp Bizkit, and Crywank | I also play a lot of instruments, too, but I mainly play acoustic guitar)

Art

Writing

Cosplay

Reading (Some fav books are Solitare by Alice Oseman, The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty, The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton, Zombie Makeout Club: Death Wish by Peter Richardson, and Pet Sematary by Stephen King)

Playing video games (Fav video games are Dialtown, Jazzpunk, FAITH: The Unholy Trinity, Melatonin, Lavalamp, Sally Face, and American Truck Simulator)

Watching movies (Some fav movies are the John Wick movies, When the Wind Blows, the Scream movies, The Truman Show, Spree, The Outsiders, The Hitcher, Kiminonawa/Your Name. , Everything, Everywhere, All At Once, and Misery)

Watching tv shows (some fav tv shows are Rick and Morty, South Park, Moral Orel, The Twilight Zone, Smiling Friends, and Hazbin Hotel)

Watching YouTube (Fav content creators are JSchlatt, Charlie Slimecicle, Ted Nivison, Kurzgesagt, Wendigoon, Sam and Colby, Jake Webber, Johnnie Guilbert, BigTugg, and Moist Cr1tikal)

Collecting things (I collect creepy-ass porcelain dolls, quarters, pennies, posters, and chunks of concrete)

Dark science (ex: odd deaths, nuclear weaponry/radiation poising, the anatomy of certain deaths [yk those videos titled: the anatomy of electrocution, ya those], stuff abt the universe that could give people an existential crisis [I don't get existential crises so I watch a SHIT TON of stuff like that] and the effects of strong/deadly drugs)

Dni/probs getting blocked:

Homophobes/transphobes/racists/ableists...basically all of that kind of stuff

in general shitty people, just don't be a dick

If you don't have any posts or interactions, I will probably block you thinking your a bot

NO SEXUAL CONTENT I am uncomfortable with sexual content and I am a minor, so please, none of that (Jokes are fine, but do not make them/direct them towards me)

Don't ask me about very personal things (such as where I go to school, my age, my real name, my house, my phone number, my discord, etc) You might not get blocked for this, but you won't get the answers and I will be uncomfortable

If you are an anti of anyone I am a fan of, please either don't interact or just don't bring up that person (basically, don't make me sad plz)

If your a supporter of anyone I'm an anti of (ex: Dream and Wilbur soot)

!! IF YOU CALL ME CEASAR, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED !!

Spotify:

Other socials!

My Unvale acc (Unvale.io is a website to make and log your OCs n' stuff):

Plz don't judge me, I'm just a little nerdy gay boy!! (╥﹏╥)

[babesonly]

fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids​ purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS. 

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny. 

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

--

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean 

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease 

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

Or

An ethics lesson from Hell

Or

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good 

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

--

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

--

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want? 

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god. 

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Time Raiders: Or, And Here You Were Thinking The Lost Tomb’s Wu Xie Was The Worst Case Scenario Gay Disaster

Coping with stress and deadlines=comfort shows…not 100% sure how this universe became my comfort shows but here we are.

We open with your usual “What the fuck” background wherein there’s a snake empress and her bae something something scheme and we meet our Zhang Qiling—we actually get to see the qilin that is contained?represented? In his sweetass tattoo before we get a brief history of Wu Xie as a prepubescent house-breaking disaster who achieves one (1) coin that Will Be Significant.

Zhang Qiling is a grumpy little fucker, not yet in his hoodie noir aesthetic stage but slightly more sociable here! if by sociable we mean he gets into fights during the usual Wu family “this will be easy peasy haha nothing to worry abt” pre-tomb raiding get-together, where he finally encounters bebe Wu Xie! Who is being an adorable pain in the ass getting in everyone’s way because after all it’s a day ending in y.

The precious deer himself, Lu Han, is our Wu Xie. I actually found myself really enjoying his portrayal—he just looks incredibly innocent and sweet, nonstop 🥺, with a mischievous little smile. Also, we get facets of Wu Xie’s personality established here that foreshadow how he will grow into the mess we all adore and facepalm over: his intelligence and curiosity outweigh silly things like “basic self preservation” and “not dangerous shit” and we get a glimpse of that dark humor. On the pingxie front, we see the origins of his immediate and relentless insistence on Getting To Know Zhang Qiling, aka the beginners guide to stalking someone.

Normal people: nice to meet you, how are you doing?

Wu Xie: *assigns Zhang Qiling a name, aims gun at his own face to test Zhang Qiling’s niceness, takes pictures of him every five minutes*

Zhang Qiling: hope this doesn’t awaken something in me—

Xiao Ge is thus clearly in crisis from the beginning where he is first to flirt (?????) by…cutting off Wu Xie’s necklace and then handing it back to him? Idk maybe this is second base for the Zhangs. Anyway it’s clear that he’s already like “isn’t there a cutie pie moppet club meeting that’s missing its president oh god I think he’s cute fuck fuck fuck”. The rest of Wu squad isn’t as fleshed out; Wu San Xing seems borderline competent, which is weird for the wine uncle, although Pan Zi is his usual perky BAMF self. We get Pangzi yayyy!! Albeit at first not on the pals side. Currently working for Hendrix, an old white man kinda explorer who watches from his high tech little lab. Also Pangzi def brought a microwave burrito to the tomb raid and he’s right—and frankly Ah Ning can do whatever she wants, she’s sexy and badass.

There’s also a strange moment where Zhang Qiling asks Wu Xie the question everyone in the audience, his entire family, god, tomb zombies etc have wondered: why are you, with your dark academia outfit and chipmunk charm, here on this trip? And we actually get a straight answer!! From WU XIE OF ALL PEOPLE. He’s trying to figure himself out as a person, he is incredibly curious, and he has peak bebe of the family energy in admitting that the more people tell him not to go, he wants to go. Although to begin with, his main role is nerding out and snapping pictures of everything while flirting with Zhang Qiling. Love that for him.

Meanwhile, Wu Xie is like 🥺what if…our first date was in this tomb?? And Zhang Qiling is like, I have no choice but to kiss you, I mean protect you, …and we get these big smiles and outright laughs from him??? Which isn’t the Xiao Ge I know, but for some reason I think it fits here with sheltered lil Doe-Eyes McDimple.

And then there are spontaneous tornadoes and something happening in outer space. Sure. Tbh at this point in this universe I’m not even surprised. Something something snake empress, something something key, etc. The tomb-raiding plot unfortunately interferes with what was shaping up to be a great first date for pingxie, and Wu Xie sets off a cool lighting system for what is undoubtedly the first and last time he will ever make a good decision in a tomb raid.

Sure enough, like two minutes later he plays with some little puppet musical instrument and the puppet’s eyes MOVE. Upsetting. And then the tomb trap fuckery commences—hallucinations, choreographed dance/escapes from swords, pingxie’s first dramatic “catch you in my arms” and Wu Xie participates in the long tradition of “twink plays the flute to ward off bad shit” Good times. I do like that we get a glimpse of how selfless Wu Xie is capable of being—he ends up on a collapsing floor and is all #pingxiepriorities and wants to get Zhang Qiling’s memories for him via camera instead of worrying abt his life. Classic xiaoge 🙁 and Wu Xie 💀 😍 situation

A summary of the peak action scene:

Time Raiders: there aren’t any snakes in this one

Me: oh whew what a nice break

Time Raiders: there are extremely aggressive worms

Me: what

Time Raiders: also a Venus fly trap woman

Me: …

Time Raiders: how about some steampunk type inventions? We got those too.