#and there are some. issues if that's the case

[wintrbears]

Cradle Robbers: The First Trimester | JJK

Summary: Jungkook makes a proposition you can't don't want to refuse, and there are seemingly no consequences to your friendship at first, but then you miss you period and have to explain to all your loved ones how you got knocked up by your childhood best friend.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Pregnancy AU, Childhood Friends to FWB to Lovers, Slow-Burn, Smut, Fluff, Crack, Angst (barely, you have to squint to see it)

Word Count: 26k+

Warnings: unexpected pregnancy, fear, anxiety, crying, screaming, arguing, vomiting, cravings, drinking (not OC), mention of withdrawal, doctor's offices, ultrasounds, pregnancy tests, mentions of a break-up, pet names (bambi/bams, babygirl, baby), cats, dogs, wealth, sex in a movie, tickling, karaoke, medication, talk of childbirth, periods, birth control failure, video games, parental expectations. SMUT: kissing, unprotected sex (obviously), neck kissing, penetrative sex, missionary, dick riding, sideways/from behind, oral sex (both receiving), face riding, face fucking, cum swallowing, multiple orgasms, BIG DICK JK!!!, spanking, cream pie, titty sucking, pleasuring with underwear, ripping underwear, implication of sexual favors, hickies, soreness, aftercare, masturbation (f), cuddling, cock warming, alright I think that's all folks!

Author's Note: it's finally hereeee. this is the first of three parts for my new series and i'm so, so excited to share it with you guys! koo and bambi have my whole heart along with all their friends and family we meet. I know pregnancy fics aren't always the most loved, but I assure you this Jungkook is so worth it... he's tooth-rottingly sweet and soooo sexy! also, I linked the video of the boys performance bc it's too freaking good not to watch, so look out for that (and also ignore yoongi not actually being there lmao). please let me know what you guys think and/or any predications you have for the next chapter, the baby's name and/or gender, etc. I LOVE hearing what you guys have to say! OK ily bye :)

ZERO

The sound of some garbage eating rodent is the first thing you hear after kicking your apartment door open with the tip of your boot. Muscle memory brings your hand to the light switch, but you aren’t able to flip it up because the lights are already on. So, the rodent is big enough to reach that height… wonderful. 

You toe your boots off and hang your coat up, tossing your keys in the old stolen ashtray you use to house them. When you round the corner, the familiar, lovable vermin is bent over as he rummages through your fridge. 

It’s ridiculous, honestly, given that this particular species of rat earns quadruple your salary. 

“Koo,” you get his attention. 

“Hm?”

He doesn’t budge an inch when responding to the call of his nickname. Eyes rolling back, you stroll over and smack his ass as hard as you can.

“Yo!” Jungkook jerks up and just barely misses hitting his head on the refrigerator. “Take me to dinner first.”

“I am,” you reply. “You’re eating my food.”

Jungkook smiles innocently and squishes your cheeks with his fingers before shaking your head back and forth. 

“And I’m so, so grateful,” he teases in a baby voice. 

You swat his hand away, but the light in your eyes and the remnants of a smile on your face reveal your true feelings about his teasing.

This predicament is one of your own creation, since you gave Jungkook a key a while ago in case of emergencies. The issue is, an emergency for Jungkook can be your place being closer to the gym than his, and he needs a snack after his workout. In your mind, the purpose was so he can bring you chocolate ice cream on your period and take down intruders. He’s only done one of those things so far, and the intruder was a stray cat.

Falling to your couch with a soft thump, you groan and tilt your head back against the cushions. Today was egregiously long and definitely not worth the money it made you. The only upside is it’s Friday and you have two whole days to lounge around your apartment and do nothing at all. 

Jungkook comes around the peninsula which separates your kitchen from your living room with a fresh bowl of instant ramen in his hands. He blows on the noodles for a second before slurping them into his mouth, all without noticing the glare you’re sending his way. His eyes crinkle when he sees you, letting you know he’s smiling, even though you can’t see his mouth behind the bowl. 

“What’s with the face, Bambi?” 

“You seriously didn’t think of making one for me?” You ask through a pout.

You finally see Jungkook’s smile when he lowers the bowl to place it on the peninsula. He looks proud, his head tilting as he chuckles to himself. 

Then, you hear the microwave go off, and your glare quickly turns into a grin. 

Jungkook grabs the second bowl from the microwave and sets it on the counter. You watch appreciatively as he rips open the sauce packet before putting it between his teeth and using his chopsticks to pour it all into the bowl. The crinkle of a cheese wrapper opening brings your eyebrows up your forehead in delight. He drops the orange square into the bowl and mixes everything together with the chopsticks before holding it out towards you. 

“You gonna take that shit back now or what?”

You beam and giggle as you stand, practically skipping across the room so you can take the bowl of delicious noodles from him.

“Thank you,” you sing-song.

“Mmhmm.”

The two of you eat on your couch in a slurp filled ambiance. It’s an old, familiar scene and one you always appreciate even if you don’t say it outloud. 

They say you choose your friends, but Jungkook was pretty much forced on you. Your mothers are college roommates who became best friends and later married another pair of best friends. The women proceeded to plot and plan accordingly so they would be pregnant together and their kids would be the same age. Unfortunately, your parents went off script by about six months, but you and Jungkook are still close enough in age to be in the same grade throughout school. 

Even though your friendship was intricately planned long before your conception, you’re close of your own volition. 

Jungkook is not only your best friend, but the most amazing person you know and probably in existence. You wouldn’t trade him for the world if it came down to it. In fact, if the zombie apocalypse ever happens, and somehow his death is the only way to find a cure, you will Joel Miller-style kill every single person who dares to try and take him from you. They can rip your dorky, caring, smart-ass best friend from your cold, dead hands. Everyone else can become zombies for all you care, everyone but him.

The sound of a bowl meeting the coffee table pulls your attention back to the man beside you. He kicks his feet up and stretches his arms above his head in relaxation. When the action reveals a sliver of skin from below the hem of his shirt, you use the opportunity to tickle him and laugh when he groans and folds into himself.

“Is this really the game you wanna play, Bams?” He speaks to the floor, still hunching over from your attack.

Bambi, or Bams for short, is the only name Jungkook calls you. Sometimes, you jokingly accuse him of forgetting your real name altogether, which then spurs him on to attempt “guessing” what it is. Ironically, neither of you nor your parents can recall the origin of the nickname. Like some strange Mandela effect, one day he started calling you by the Disney character’s name and never stopped. 

If memory serves correctly, you think the last time you heard the syllables of your name leave his mouth was in fifth grade when he defended you against a clique of mean girls. Something along the lines of “leave my Y/N alone,” in his adorable kiddie Jungkook voice.

He’s certainly gone through some drastic changes since then. His voice now filters out in a deep, honey tone, he doesn’t use his bangs to conceal his starry eyes anymore, and he’s got you beat by a few inches in height. You’re different, too, mostly in the way you no longer need him to defend you on the playground. He still would, though, and he often tries on nights out when someone tries testing your patience. 

Jungkook would never hurt a fly, but he’s got an entire sleeve of tattoos, multiple piercings, and broad shoulders, so he uses his outward appearance to his advantage and scares people away when necessary.

You don’t respond to his taunt, instead you slowly slide across the fabric of the couch, as quietly as you can so he doesn’t pick up on the movement. He, of course, notices right away, and a cheshire grin appears before your eyes.

Standing up like lightning, you make a break for your bedroom, but you only reach the back of the couch before his arms are clinching you by the waist. 

“No!” You shout and kick the air as he tugs you back towards the furniture. 

“You asked for this.”

“Koo, no!” 

He drops you unceremoniously onto the cushions where you flail in an attempt to escape, but it’s futile because Jungkook is already bending down to tickle your sides. Hysterical laughter fills the space as his fingertips pitter-patter on your skin. Your best friend is ruthless as always, never halting his actions even as you squirm and swat at him to get away. 

“Say you’re sorry, Bambi.”

“Jungkook, I’m gonna fucking pee my pants,” you threaten.

“Not my problem,” he responds. 

You gasp and recoil when he starts tickling your neck, rendering you completely useless to do anything but suffer. Eventually, your brain returns from its momentary vacation and you find the will to fight back, grabbing his hands and pulling them away as you attempt to catch your breath. Jungkook’s smiling like the devil himself above you and you resist the urge to slap the smirk right off his handsome face.

This behavior is par for the course for you both, because you’re a brat who likes to test his limits, and he’s too competitive to let you have the last laugh. 

Jungkook stands to his full height, smirk still intact, while you struggle to slow your jackrabbiting heart. He moseys over to your bookshelf to survey its contents, and once you’re sitting up again, you chuck a throw pillow across the room at him. It meets his back before pathetically falling to the floor. Jungkook doesn’t even flinch. He just shakes his head and tsks at your feeble attempt at payback.

His fingers trace over the items occupying your bookshelf before settling on a thin rectangle and removing it from its home.

“Movie night?” 

He rests the corner of the DVD case against his head to show it off to you. You call him towards you with your hand so you can inspect the item for yourself. It houses a movie you haven’t seen in a long time, some low budget rom com with good sex scenes. Shrugging, you nod your head at him and watch as he goes to play the movie in your now ancient DVD player.

“I’ll go make popcorn,” you announce before standing and heading to the kitchen. 

Jungkook plummets into the couch and grabs your fuzzy blanket to spread over his legs. When you return with a large bowl of popcorn to share, he lifts the blanket and readjusts it to cover your legs as well. 

Neither of you pay much attention to the plot, too busy joking around when characters say stupid lines. You spend your time talking about your week and any plans for the upcoming weekend instead. Jungkook’s just finishing up his story about his boss accidentally unmuting himself on Teams when the first sex scene catches your attention. You both actually focus on the screen for the first time and Jungkook tilts his head while tonguing his cheek as the male character descends down the female character’s body and kisses her skin as he goes. 

“Do you ever think about it?” He asks as he throws a kernel of popcorn into the air and catches it with his mouth. 

“About what?” You look towards the screen. “Sex?” He nods and puts his arm behind you on the couch so he can face you. “Like, in general, or —”

“No, no,” Jungkook chuckles. “Like us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah, have you thought about us having sex?”

The popcorn in your mouth goes down the wrong tube when you choke in response to his question. You hit your chest once to help it descend your esophagus before reaching for your drink on the coffee table. The time it takes you to gulp down the fizzy beverage isn’t nearly enough for you to gather your thoughts.

“Koo, what the actual fuck,” you scold him. 

“Is that a no?” He raises his eyebrows at you suggestively. “Because I know I have.”

“Ew, when?” 

“It’s not often, just like, every once in a while,” he explains. “I just think it would be fun! This is not me making some grandstand announcement about how I’ve always wanted you or some shit.” He readjusts so his entire body faces you directly. “Listen, we’ve done everything together. Skydiving, parasailing, swimming with dolphins, stealing from the grocery store, sneaking into the movies, you name it. Doesn’t it make sense that we should do everything before we aren’t able to anymore?”

“You forced me to go skydiving, Jungkook.” 

“That’s not the point, Bambi,” he playfully grits his teeth. “Eventually, we’re gonna settle down with our own partners and the window of opportunity will be gone. Why not try something new together while we still can?” 

Your teeth hold your bottom lip captive as your mind processes his proposal. Truthfully, you have thought about it, same as him. Not in some romantic, storybook way, but just from a perspective of knowing he’s a handsome guy with a great build and it would probably be a fun night for both of you. This conversation scares the shit out of you, though. Thinking about it is one thing, but attempting to manifest it into reality is a whole other beast. The list of things that could go wrong is longer than a CVS receipt. Then again, you and Jungkook have been through everything together and you’ve always made it out on the other side. 

“Koo, I don’t know…” you admit. “I love me some good casual sex with no feelings involved, but this is us we’re talking about.”

“Exactly!” He claps his hands together eagerly. “It’s us, probably the only two people in the whole world who nothing can come between.” Jungkook sighs and eats more popcorn from the bowl still in your lap. “I’m not trying to pressure you, Bams, I just really think we’d both have a great time. I mean, I’m hot, you’re hot, I’ve got a big dick, I’m sure your pussy is tight, what else could you want?”

You laugh at his reasoning, throwing your head back and holding the position as you blow air from your mouth. A couple anticipatory moments pass as your mind weighs the options. A large intake of air fills your lungs before you lift your head.

“Okay,” you murmur.

“Okay?”

“Okay, Koo.”

Jungkook giggles like a little kid, his feet stamping the ground repeatedly as he pumps his arms in excitement. Your laughter returns in response to his celebration, rolling your eyes affectionately at the familiar behavior of your childhood best friend.

“You said yes because I called you tight, is that it?”

Shaking your head, you push his shoulder back with your hand, using your other one to place the popcorn bowl on the coffee table. Jungkook’s eyes turn into big oases of black as his pupils dilate and conceal the normal chocolate color of his irises. You take your time straddling his thighs, your knees digging into the couch beside his hips. 

“No,” you answer him. Making a show of flipping your hair over your shoulder and bending down until you’re face to face. You avoid his lips, which are pouting slightly, to place a kiss over the tiny mole on his neck. “I said yes because you said you have a big dick and now I need to find out if that’s true,” you whisper into his ear. 

Your voice has a sultry edge you’ve never used in his presence before. Sitting back on your heels, you gaze at him with an innocent smile as you bat your eyelashes. 

Jungkook’s look of surprise is long gone, his eyes sharpening until they’re a quarter of their normal size as he stares you down. The muscles in his jaw clench and the skin of his brow creases, his eyebrows nearly kissing. Your eyes catch the thick vein in his neck pulsing with adrenaline and it makes your thighs tingle.

He laughs incredulously, running a hand through his hair as he tongues his cheek.

“Alright, so we’re doing it this way,” he muses.

In an instant, Jungkook is grabbing your hips and slamming you down into his lap. You gasp and brace yourself on his shoulders. Your reaction brings a satisfied smirk to his face, and you have the urge to roll your eyes again, but then his fingers rake into your hair and he yanks the strands to expose your throat. A needy whine passes through your lips as your neck beckons him to give it attention. He places a single, gentle kiss to your pulse point before leaving you wanting. A second noise of complaint is about to leave you when Jungkook finally starts devouring your neck with his mouth.

“Oh, fuck,” you moan quietly. 

Jungkook chuckles melodiously against the wet spots he’s leaving on you. The feeling of his warm breath on your skin forms goosebumps across your arms and sends a shiver straight down your spine. His teeth are maiming your neck as he works diligently to paint you in pretty, purple bruises shaped like his mouth. Once the artwork appears before his eyes, he licks over the mark and kisses it before moving to conquer another spot. 

Meanwhile, your hips spring into action and you start moving in languid circles across his lap. The initial plan is to keep the pressure of your movements teasingly light, but once you feel the apparent bulge forming in his pants, you can’t resist grinding down hard against his clothed cock. 

Jungkook groans responsively and bites into your skin with his canines.

Soon enough, he ceases his assault on your neck so his lips can travel across your shoulder instead. His fingers push your shirt down your arm so he can kiss and lick your skin unimpeached. You moan loudly, the rhythm of your hips picking up in tempo as he seeks out every inch of exposed skin he can.

“Fuck, I could come in my fucking pants, Bams,” he whispers. “Please don’t stop.”

His words only motivate you to push your hips into him harder. He groans again and nods his head approvingly. You agree with him internally, the friction from your underwear rubbing against your clit steadily sending you into a frenzy.

“So good, Koo.”

Jungkook hums and leans back to appreciate the portrait of his lips he’s left on you. His fingertips gently trace over the hickies and he wears a proud smile as he turns your head back and forth to examine his work. 

“You look so pretty, all marked up,” he praises. 

Pushing him down by his shoulders, you grab his face with both hands to kiss him. There’s an electric shock when your lips meet for the first time, but you aren’t sure if it’s only in your head or if he felt it, too. 

The kiss is anything but romantic. Within seconds you’re licking into his mouth and chasing his tongue while his teeth pull at your bottom lip. Jungkook moans and his fingers press down against your scalp. Tilting your head, you kiss him like he’s your only source of oxygen. Your body and mind are in overdrive, your thighs twitching with need and you need his lips to bring you back down to earth. 

He tastes sweet like the cola he was drinking and it makes your head spin. The pretty, pink, doll lips you’ve always admired are magical in the way they move. Jungkook has you trapped between his mouth and the hand on your head, but you don’t mind when he’s kissing you until your mind blanks. 

It's a scramble of fingers and hands as you undress one another as fast as humanly possible. His warm hands brush against your stomach as he lifts your top over your head. You feel his abs beneath your fingers when you tug off his shirt. Jungkook accidentally pinches your skin when unhooking your bra and you don’t even notice, too busy kissing him like your life depends on it.

When Jungkook sees your tits for the first time, he fucking loses it. His head hits the arm of the couch as it falls back, and the growl that comes from deep within his throat is fucking demonic. 

“God, you are so fucking hot,” he declares.

You’re unable to respond because he’s already wrapping his mouth around your nipple and tweaking the other with his fingers, forcing the air from your lungs instantaneously. Jungkook’s tongue circles your nipple a couple times before he sucks the erect nub into his mouth, keeping the same pace with his fingers on your other breast. 

The moans coming from you are unrecognizable in comparison to your normal timbre, and they only grow in volume when Jungkook switches sides and repeats his debilitating ministrations.

Lacing your fingers through his black strands, you pull his face away from your chest to see his eyes. He barely looks like himself anymore, a scorching fire behind his usual soft gaze. The image lights you up inside, and you kiss him again hard enough that he tumbles back into the couch cushions and brings you along with him. 

His hands explore the smooth skin of your back and shoulders, massaging you with his big hands as he traverses across the previously uncharted territory. 

“You’re so sexy, Jungkook,” you tell him as you kiss his jaw. “Everything about you.”

His skin is searing hot and flushed red, the tint going all the way down his neck and chest. You take your time moving across his jawline and throat, sucking just below his ear and letting your tongue trace the perimeter of his earlobe. Descending down his torso, you kiss his collarbones and pecs while digging your nails into his abs, your ample attempt at showing him exactly what you mean by your comment. 

“Need you, Bambi, so fucking bad,” he whines.

The only acknowledgment you give him is by looking up with a devilish smirk before your hands start to unbutton his jeans. You pull them down just enough to reveal his boxers and hold his eye contact while you kiss the fabric covering his cock. Jungkook’s hips twitch and his eyes squeeze shut, an undeniably sexy groan leaving him. Your hands caress his thighs while you mouth at his boxers and you can feel him getting harder with each press of your lips.

He hurries to pull his pants down the rest of the way while you hook your fingers into the waistband of his boxers. When you tease him by letting them snap against his hips, he hisses and you see his Adam's apple bob. His hips buck towards your face desperately, making you snicker at his attempt to create friction. 

“Patience, Koo,” you tease him. Jungkook grits his teeth at your taunt, but only a second later the tension seeps from his body when you reach into his boxers and palm him. “Let’s see if you were exaggerating or not, hmm?”

Once his boxers are gone, you realize he was, in fact, under exaggerating. He knows it, too, because when you glance up, he’s smirking with pride, one corner of his mouth higher than the other. 

“Whaddaya think?”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“How about you see how much that pretty mouth of yours can take?” 

One thing about you and Jungkook is you're both competitive as hell, and you’ll be damned if his whole dick isn’t situated down your throat soon just to prove a point.

Gathering spit in your mouth, you lean directly over his hard cock and let it slowly fall from your lips to his head. You wait for the sound of Jungkook moaning before doing it again, this time actually spitting instead of letting it drip down. Your hand gathers the saliva to spread it over his head and down his shaft. Your best friend is panting above you as he studies the way you work his cock with your hand. 

Jungkook is stupid fucking big, and you genuinely fear he’ll split you in half when you fuck. Not only is his dick long, but it’s so thick your fingertips don’t touch when you grasp him. He’s rock hard and throbbing in your hold and there’s a perfect bead of precum just waiting for you to lick. 

When you do, Jungkook cries out in pleasure and it's hands down the sexiest sound you’ve ever heard. He’s always been the tough one between you, and having him like puddy in your hands is more satisfying than you care to admit. 

Your tongue flattens over his slit and you groan at the taste of his cum, your mouth already watering at the thought of more coming your way. You lick around his head in one long stroke and then circle your tongue just under the sensitive ridge. Jungkook whines at the feeling of your tongue on his aching dick. Your hand is still using your self-made lubricant to glide up and down his shaft. 

“Bams, fuck,” Jungkook pants the words across staccato exhales. 

It’s nearly impossible for you to say no to the man begging for your mouth, so you finally end your teasing and take him between your lips. You suckle on his head and let more saliva drip down his shaft before removing your hand to focus solely on the movements of your mouth. Your hands hold onto his muscular thighs as you finally take him deeper into your throat.

It definitely takes time for your lips and throat to adjust to his size. Each time you slide down his cock you take more of him into your mouth until your nose hits his pelvis. You breathe through your nose and stay there for a moment, swallowing and moaning around him. 

“Oh, shit.” Jungkook looks down at you in awe, watching in wonder at the way your lips stretch around his cock. “Bambi, holy fucking shit.” 

The chuckle you release sends vibrations around Jungkook’s dick and his hips buck up responsively. You moan again and squeeze his thighs, attempting to send a message that he’s free to repeat the action. He must interpret your message accurately because you feel him forming your hair into a makeshift ponytail and thrusting his hips up. 

Jungkook would never want to hurt you, so even though his body is screaming at him to animalisticaly fuck your mouth, his thrusts are shallow and modest.

Even so, his strokes make you gag every time his tip hits the back of your throat. He’s pulling on your hair and the sensation of being used like a sex toy makes your eyes roll back. Tears form and roll down to meet the drool that’s leaking from your mouth. Breathing through your nose, you suck harder to make a tighter fit for him. He’s appreciative, growling and yanking on your hair as a thank you. 

“Shit, I’m gonna come,” he warns you. Hearing his words, you massage his heavy balls in your hand to push him over the edge. A broken moan comes from above you and his hips start to lose their cadence as his orgasm nears. “Can I… your throat…”

His words are clipped, but you understand and squeeze his thigh to give him permission. Within a single moment you start tasting his cum at the back of your throat. Moaning endlessly at how good he tastes, you move your lips up and down his cock as he comes, swallowing his seed and licking him clean at the same time. 

When you’re certain you’ve stolen every last drop and sucked him dry, you come up for air with a harsh gasp.

“Holy fuck,” you curse and massage your jaw. 

Jungkook grabs your chin with his hand and makes you look at him so he can see that you’re alright. You nod assuredly and sit back on your heels. 

“That was, on God, the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Jungkook states. 

You laugh and shove his chest, but he snatches your hand and pulls you towards him. He kisses you like he fucking means it, grabbing the side of your face so you can’t move an inch. Your moans meet in each other’s mouths as Jungkook sucks on your tongue to taste himself. 

“Can we move this party to the bedroom?”

Jungkook nods, his hand still caressing your face, before helping you up so you can both head to your room at the back of the apartment. When the door opens, your grey munchkin cat scurries out from behind the door. 

“Oh, Usagi, I forgot you were in there,” you say as she bolts for her scratching post. 

“Probably a good thing,” Jungkook notes, his eyes gesturing down to his dick still on display. 

You chuckle and grab his hand to lead him into the room before shutting the door behind you. He immediately takes a seat on the bed while you stay standing to pull your pants down your legs. 

Jungkook’s eyes trace the movement, his pupils blowing even wider when he sees your black lace panties and the evident wet spot on them. Reaching his hand out, you take it and stand between his legs. Your hands push his hair back, scratching at his scalp to hear the pretty moan that accompanies the movement. 

He leans forward and kisses your abdomen, just above your panties. You sigh as his lips traverse the expanse of your stomach and hips, leaving a hot, wet trail in their wake. 

“Koo, need you,” you whimper. 

The feeling of his teeth sinking into the skin of your waist makes you jump, but then he soothes the ache with his tongue. 

“You know, since you made me come already, I’m going to have to fuck you in other ways until I’m ready to go again,” he states. You hum in acknowledgment and he rests his chin against you to gaze upwards. “You gonna be able to handle that, Bams?”

“Don’t go making promises you can’t keep.”

Jungkook scoffs and turns you around, slapping your ass harshly before pulling you down into his lap. You yelp at the sudden change in position, but the feeling of his warm chest on your back makes you melt into his embrace. 

“Do you even know me at all, Bams?” He scoffs again. “How many orgasms have you had in one night before?”

“Like… three?”

“Pussy fucking numbers,” he snaps. “We’re aiming for double digits here.”

“Jungkook!” You look over your shoulder at him in shock, but his facial expression is completely serious. “You’re joking.”

“No, I’m really fucking not.” 

“I’ll die.”

Jungkook just shakes his head disapprovingly and licks his lips. He grabs your jaw to turn your head, his hand diving into your hair again to hold you in place so he can ravish your mouth. His kiss has you completely hypnotized and you barely remember the conversation you were just having.

“How about we compromise and aim for five?” He suggests.

You want to kiss him too badly to muster a response, so you just hum in affirmation before turning around and bringing his lips to yours. He pulls you into him as he falls back onto the bed. Your legs return to their position on either side of his muscular thighs, and your lips work earnestly to kiss every inch of his face and jaw until they reach his neck. 

Your clothed cunt grinds over his dick as you mark him with a matching bruise to your own, the friction created by your panties making you groan. You continue to lick and torment the delicate skin of his neck while he guides your movements with his hands. 

All too soon, Jungkook stops you by grabbing your shoulder and you eye him curiously. His eyes flit around the features of your face for a minute. When he smiles in satisfaction, you know he’s got a tantalizing idea for how he’s going to make you come. 

“Sit on my face,” he commands. 

You don’t need to be told twice to get your pussy ate. 

Jungkook moves to the center of the bed and taps his chest to beckon you over. Bending to remove your panties, you look up in surprise when Jungkook halts your actions by grabbing your wrist. 

“How expensive were those?” He asks. 

“$20 maybe.”

“Leave ‘em on, I’ll buy you new ones.”

Sometimes you conveniently forget your best friend is rich until moments like these when he reminds you. 

When you and Jungkook were in college he coded and designed an entire video game in his spare time, because he’s a freaking genius, and then he sold said video game for millions of dollars. Now he works as a lead designer at the biggest video game company in the country and consistently makes six figures. 

Jungkook has a huge dick and an even bigger bank account, and here you thought God made everyone equal.

Shrugging at his instruction, you do as he says and climb onto the bed. As tactfully as possible, you maneuver your legs around Jungkook’s head and sit up on your knees so your core is a few inches above his mouth. His hands hold your hips and he takes the time to trace over your curves while looking up at your pussy slowly soaking the lace of your underwear. 

After several long moments of eager anticipation, he yanks you down by your thighs until the tip of his nose is tickling you. Your head tips back as you sigh, the feeling of his nose rubbing against your clit through your underwear satiating the craving for his touch. He presses a few chaste kisses to the black fabric as he nuzzles his nose into your cunt to give you more friction. You grip his hair beneath you as he continues to tease you with featherlight touches of his nose and mouth. 

“Koo, don’t,” you beg. 

His only reply is a hum and you feel the vibrations from it against your core. Then he bites at your underwear to give him access to your pussy before licking you from bottom to top. The fabric sinks between your folds as Jungkook’s tongue presses the panties into you and the friction feels unbelievable on your clit. 

Your hand yanks on his hair in appreciation as he continues to eat you out and use your sopping wet panties to pleasure you. 

Once he’s ready for more, his hands move towards your cunt and a loud ripping sound permeates the air. You gasp when you feel him throw your torn panties to the side before forcing your pussy down harder on his face. He collects all the essence you’re leaking with an erotic slurping sound. His tongue slides through your folds and fucks into your hole while his nose continues to apply pressure to your clit.

“Holy shit, Jungkook.”

He laughs against your pussy and slows down just enough so you can hear him.

“You haven’t seen anything yet, Bams.”

Your free hand claws at the bed frame haphazardly as he eats you like it’s his goddamn job. He kisses your cunt messily, spitting into it and smearing your cum around his face along with his own salvia. His tongue travels up to your clit and the pure, unadulterated pleasure makes you scream. When he flattens the muscle against your sensitive nub you swear you’ll fall over, but his hands on your thighs are still holding you steady above him. 

“Koo, holy fuck.” Your head tips back and your nails bite into the fabric of the headboard. “Make me come, please.”

Jungkook moans responsively beneath you and dives in even deeper, licking you menacingly without reprieve while guiding your hips to ride his face. You take the hint and begin moving your hips on your own, letting your pussy press against all the outlines of his face as his tongue laps up your juices. 

He returns to your clit again and scrapes his teeth against it, causing tears to escape from your waterline as you whimper. Soothing the ache of his bite with his tongue, he slows to a tortuous pace as he kitten licks you for a while. You’re crying continuously now, your hips desperately seeking anything they can get as you move across his face in an erratic rhythm. Jungkook takes pity on you and finally sucks your clit into his mouth before moaning so he can send you right over the edge.

Your hand sinks further into Jungkook’s hair and your nails scratch his scalp as you come all over his face. The bedframe rocks from how hard you’re holding on while your legs shake from the force of your orgasm. Absolute, unbridled euphoria moves through you and makes your eyes roll back. 

Jungkook continues to lick your cunt until you jump from the oversensitivity and move away from his face. You hear a disappointed groan as you crash onto the bed beside him. 

“You taste so fucking good, Bams,” he tells you. “I could do that all fucking night.”

Chest swelling with pride, you’re about to reply when you feel something against your back and frown in confusion. The scratchy material rubs awkwardly against you and you bend away from it to grab it. 

Your soaked, ripped panties dangle from your fingers as you click your tongue and throw them into the trash can. 

“You’re a fucking gremlin,” you note.

Jungkook doesn’t respond to your statement, he just maintains eye contact while moving to kneel before pulling you closer by the waist. The pretty vision of him above you makes your breath hitch. 

His hand travels ostentatiously from your neck all the way down to your hip, lighting an internal fire within you wherever his touch goes. You wait with bated breath as his fingers dance across your skin until they reach your center. Jungkook deliberately teases you, his fingertips just barely touching your clit before moving away again.

You hiss and grab his wrist so his hand can’t move towards your pussy again.

“What?” Jungkook smiles down at you with a tilt of his head. “You’re not ready for more yet? We’re only at one of five, Bambi, we’ve got a lot more work to do.” He twists his hand out of your hold and presses down on your clit. You whimper and silently beg him with your eyes. “Plus, I’m an overachiever, so you know five is really going to be more like seven.”

“Seven?”

“Ilgop.”

“Fuck, don’t speak Korean to me right now. You know how hot it gets me.”

Jungkook giggles, his head falling into the crook of your neck. You smile at the sound and run your fingers through his hair. 

He takes the opportunity to kiss your neck, and you instinctively lean your head away to give him more of you. His lips caress you gently for a while, but then he growls against your throat and grabs your jaw to hold you still. Your gasp settles into a moan and Jungkook takes it as a cue to continue playing with your pussy. His fingers circle your clit and your noises become even needier. He dips into your folds to collect your cum so he can rub over your nerve endings and it nearly expels all the air from your lungs. 

Jungkook  touches you like he’s done it a million times already and that thought alone leaves you breathless. 

“Koo, baby, please,” you whimper in a tone even you don’t recognize. Jungkook’s big, boba eyes are back when he captures your gaze to wordlessly ask what you’re begging him for. “I don’t want to come. I want you.”

A dazzling smile appears on Jungkook’s lips, and a pretty, pink blush spreads across his cheeks and turns the tips of his ears red. 

“Alright, Bambi,” he responds with a peck. “Condom?”

You shake your head, wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing him in for more kisses.

“I’m on birth control.”

Jungkook kisses you again before you can do so yourself.

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” you nod against his lips. “Want you raw, Koo.”

“Fuck,” Jungkook chuckles. “You’re gonna kill me.”

Jungkook goes to pump his cock with his hand, but before he has the chance, you bring his palm to your lips and spit into it. He groans, his eyes rolling back, as he reaches down and uses your spit to fuck his hand. 

Your eyes follow the movement of his wrist jerking himself off. It’s honestly mouthwatering to watch his thick cockhead push past his fingers as he gets himself hard again for you. 

He kisses your shoulder and collarbone, then licks up your neck until he reaches your ear. His teeth softly sink into the cartilage. 

“You ready for me, Bams?” 

His deep voice melts your insides into goo and forces your brain into another frequency. Everything is static except for the feeling of his body hovering above yours. 

All you do is nod your head in response to his question.

Jungkook’s tip pushes past your tight circle of nerves and already you feel too full to function. A wanton gasp and whimper follow the intrusion as he slowly enters you for the first time. Your nails create crescents on his shoulders as you inhale through your nose to relieve the pressure in your core.

“Koo… you’re so fucking big,” you whine. 

“I know, I know,” he chuckles. 

He kisses your temple appreciatively. 

By the time his entire cock is deep within your walls, his pelvis pressing against your own, you already feel yourself losing it. Jungkook fills you up completely, and you can barely bring yourself to exhale the air you’re holding in. 

“Fuck, Bambi, are you a virgin or some shit?”

“You know damn well I’m not a virgin,” you grit.

Jungkook groans deeply as his head falls forward and his hair tickles your cheeks when he shakes his head in disbelief.

“Then what the fuck are you so fucking tight for?” 

You loudly hum and pretend to think it over before glancing at him with a sultry tilt of your head.

“I think my pussy’s just that good,” you say. Pulling his face down so it’s only centimeters away, you let your lips brush for a split second before replying. “And it’s all yours, Jungkook. So fuck me like you mean it.”

Jungkook rears back and ferociously thrusts into you before your next breath can even exit your lungs. 

“Oh, fuck!” 

A sinister chuckle comes from your best friend.

“Be careful what you wish for.”

Any semblance of control is forcefully taken away when Jungkook grabs your hands and slams them into the mattress above your head. Simultaneously, he begins pumping his cock into you at a disastrous pace and you can’t do anything but incoherently moan. 

There’s no adjustment period, no slow-moving start. Jungkook is already fucking you like a goddamn ragdoll made solely for his pleasure. 

“Koo, oh my fucking God,” you cry. It’s barely been a minute and hot, salty tears are already streaming down your face. 

Jungkook kisses you and his moans filter into your mouth. His grip on your hands is bruising and it makes you whimper pathetically against his lips.  

“Jungkook,” you sob as he abuses your pussy. 

“Shh, shh.” He kisses you gently. “You can take it.” He kisses your cheek and up the side of your face. “I got you, Bams.”

You keen and your hands clasp around Jungkook’s in an effort to protect whatever’s left of your sanity. 

His cock is buried in your pussy but you swear you feel yourself choking on him in your throat. Everytime his tip kisses your cervix you fear being split in two and yet there’s nothing you want more than for him to continue. You want him to rip you in half if it means feeling this full. He’s combining his strokes with a grind of his hips and it makes your cunt greedy for him, sucking him inside and squeezing his cock so he’ll never leave again. 

Jungkook is throbbing and scorching hot inside you and the heat travels from your pussy throughout your entire body, lighting a fire in your bones and between your muscles that only he has the ability to stifle. 

Your senses are amped up to ten and you scream over how deep he’s sending his dick into you. 

The fire escapes externally when Jungkook releases your hands to explore your body instead. They travel down your entire outline until they find your hips and he tilts them upwards to create a new angle. 

“Fuck, I always knew your pussy would feel this good,” he grunts. “You’re a fucking dream.”

The combination of the closer angle and Jungkook’s praises genuinely turns you to ruins, scattering pieces of your soul around and covering them in ivy. You kiss him again even though you know there’s no use, you’re shattered already. You devour his mouth, responding to his compliment through the movement of your lips instead of the words your body can’t produce at the moment. 

Your fingers tilt his head so you can mouth at his sharp jaw, letting your tongue slide across his skin as he growls in your ear. Alternating between biting and kissing, you soak his honey skin in your spit and listen for the moans coming from deep within his chest. 

“You feel so good, Koo,” you whisper into his ear. “Your cock fills me up so fucking well.”

“Shit,” he grunts. Jungkook grabs your thighs and pulls them up higher until you’re practically bent in half, your knees next to his shoulders. “So fucking good. You take me like a fucking champ, Bambi.”

Jungkook slows his pace by a hair, but only so he can thrust into you harder. Each clap of your skin connecting pulls a pornographic moan from your throat. You feel his balls slapping against your ass and the way your bodies are pressing together adds just the right amount of pressure on your clit. 

It makes for a mind boggling combination that has your brain disintegrating into nothingness. 

Your next orgasm is looming just around the corner. It builds inside you like a rollercoaster slowly moving up the track. Jungkook ups his pace again when he feels the telltale signs of your cunt pulsing and tightening around him like a vice. 

“Cream my cock, Bams,” he commands. “C’mon, beautiful.”

A splintering gasp chokes you as you obey and come around his dick, coating his entire shaft in white essence. 

The climax is brain chemistry altering. It feels as though your blood is ablaze and your heart can’t beat fast enough to push it through your body. Your legs clamp around his waist as they shake and convulse from the pleasure. All the while, Jungkook continues fucking his cock into your hole and sending you straight into oversensitivity subspace. 

You’re still catching your breath when you grab Jungkook tightly by the shoulder to halt his movements. He looks at you with curious eyes, but he doesn’t completely stop, just slows down significantly and thrusts shallowly into you.

“Wanna ride you, Koo,” you tell him. “Wanna make you come so you can stuff me and watch it drip out.”

Jungkook closes his eyes, his teeth grinding together. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, you can’t just say shit like that and expect me not to bust!”

You laugh mischievously as he grabs you by the waist to flip you both over. Your bodies are only parted for a mere moment before you’re sinking back down onto his dick and scratching at his pecs with your nails. 

“Oh my God, I didn’t think it was possible for you to reach any further inside me,” you note.

“Of course, Bambi, gonna rearrange your fucking guts,” Jungkook proudly states.

It’s disturbing how exciting the thought of that is.

The rhythm of your hips is nowhere near as monstrous, letting his cock slowly leave your cunt before feeling him fill you up again one inch at a time. Using his chest to stabilize yourself, your thighs work religiously to bounce and fuck yourself on him. You look towards the ceiling, a groan rising from your throat due to his thick cock pressing against your walls and hitting just the right spot inside you. 

Jungkook reaches up to play with your tits dangling over his face, massaging them in his big hands before pushing them together. His fingers pinch your nipples until they’re pebbled and stiff. He leans forward to take one into his mouth and you have to grab onto his hair for support. 

He smacks your ass and you yelp, but you understand the message he’s trying to send and pick up the pace. You push him back down and lean over so your hard nipples are pressing against the heat of his chest. 

“Atta girl,” he praises with another stinging slap of his hand on your ass. His digits make a home in your hair again and he uses the leverage to force you to stare into his eyes. “Pussy s’fucking good, Bams.” Jungkook kisses across your neck torturously slow before speaking again. “So fucking tight, warm, wet… could stay in here for-fucking-ever.”

“Koo,” you whisper breathlessly.

Your hips swivel in desperation to send his dick as deep as it can go, honestly hoping your guts do part for him so his cock can nestle permanently inside you. 

“You gonna come again?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Good,” he speaks into your ear. “Come on my big, fat cock, babygirl.”

The moan you let out is the most humiliating sound to ever come from your body. 

Luckily, no more are able to escape because Jungkook kisses you senseless. His tongue shoves into your mouth and licks around your own as you bounce on him as fast as your thighs will allow. He perpetuates your efforts by grasping your hips and rolling his own against you. It creates the perfect amount of friction on your clit and sends you tumbling into a pool of ecstasy.

“Fuck, Jungkook!”

You weep over the intensity of your orgasm while he continues kissing you. Not wanting to lose an ounce of momentum, Jungkook takes over for you as your orgasm paralyzes your mind. 

He fucks you relentlessly to bring about his own climax and the sound of your skin clapping together is so loud you worry it will shake your doorframe and alert the neighbors. 

“Gonna fill you up, Bams,” he warns you. 

He thrusts hard once, twice, sending his cock so deep you swear you see your stomach bulge, and then he grunts and a strangled cry breaks from his lips as he paints your pussy with his cum.

The heat of it makes your eyes roll into your skull.

You kiss him through the come down, slowly traversing across the bottom half of his face and scraping his jaw with your teeth. He moans weakly, the hand still in your hair moving down to your neck and squeezing it affectionately. You make out as he goes flaccid within you, the mixture of your juices slowly dripping out and soaking your thighs. 

Jungkook grabs your ass in both hands and massages the fatty flesh like he owns it, giving you one final spank to tint your skin red in the shape of his hand.

“Jungkook,” you mumble against his lips. “That was s’fucking good.”

A prideful chuckle meets your ears as Jungkook rests his head against the pillows to gaze up at you. 

“Yeah? Told you we’d have fun,” he brags. 

Lifting yourself off of him, you curse at the sticky mess between your legs. In one motion, you swing your leg over Jungkook’s thighs and fall down next to him with a bounce. You’ll worry about the sheets being drenched in the morning. 

Jungkook grabs your hand and kisses your knuckles before holding it against his heart thumping wildly in his chest. 

“Thanks for trying something new with me, Bams,” he says sincerely. 

Your eyes meet with twin smiles. Running your fingers through his hair, you tuck a piece behind his ear and lean in to give him a final peck of gratitude. 

It takes a minute for your body to stop screaming at you so you can stand. When you head for the bathroom, Usagi meows angrily from her spot just beyond the door. You coo at her and bend down to scratch under her chin.

“I’m sowwy, baby,” you apologize to the little creature. 

She saunters right past you to hop on the bed and curl up next to Jungkook who’s covering his bare body with your comforter. His eyes light up when he sees her approaching and he bends down to kiss her little head repeatedly until she meows at him to stop. 

You return from the bathroom in a large sleep shirt fresh from the dryer and toss a pair of equally fresh sweats to Jungkook. Both items are originally his, anyway. 

He eyes you knowingly when he clocks the familiar article of clothing. His tongue clicks with a single shake of his head before he’s slipping the pants on and securing them around his hips.

“You want me to sleep on the couch like usual?” He asks with his arms behind his head. 

You scoff affectionately.

“You already look pretty comfortable right there, Koo,” you retort.

“Oh, I am.” He pets Usagi dramatically as she purrs. “And Usagi wants me here, you can’t so no to her!” 

“You’re right, I can’t.”

Jungkook lifts the covers so you can join him in the snuggle puddle he and your cat are partaking in. You make yourself comfortable beneath the sheets and he mirrors you, much to Usagi’s chagrin since she’s sequestered to the foot of the bed to accommodate the extra body. 

It takes you all of thirty seconds to fall asleep once your head hits the pillow, and Jungkook is already halfway into dreamland himself when you do. 

You wake with a pounding headache and unbelievably sore thighs. Groaning at the aches and pains, you leave your bed and attempt to walk normally even though you feel like you got fucked by a semitruck instead of your best friend. It’s a mess of stumbling feet and running into furniture corners as you groggily head to the kitchen for some pain pills. 

Grabbing some for Jungkook after swallowing your own, you head back and set them along with a water bottle on your nightstand for when he wakes up. 

The smell of breakfast must coax Jungkook back into the land of the living because he stumbles out from your bedroom soon after it’s ready. You laugh at the way his hair sticks up in a million directions and his eyes barely open. 

“Morning, sunshine,” you sing-song.

He only greets you with a wave as he heads towards your bathroom. 

When he emerges again he looks slightly more put together, at least, you can see his big, brown eyes again as he makes his way to you.

“Morning,” he says. 

“Brekkie?”

You push a plate of assorted breakfast food towards him before turning around to place your own in the sink. He eats with that lovable scowl on his face which indicates you successfully cooked him a worthwhile meal. 

Neither of you bring up the events which took place last night because you don’t need to, there’s no unspoken tension or uncomfortable vibes floating around. Jungkook was right when he said nothing can come between you, and as fun as it was, now everything just goes back to normal.

It does not stay normal for long.

ONE

Women are beautiful, complex, intricate beings, whose bodies and minds can do extraordinary things. Women can move mountains when they strive to and you’re proud to call yourself one. 

Simultaneously, they can be dumbasses who can’t remember when their last period was. 

While sitting at your desk typing up a bullshit report for some bullshit exec who can’t be bothered to read his own emails, you open the drawer on your left. It houses all your office essentials like pens, tape, paper clips, and tampons. 

Your head tilts as you examine the colorful packaging you haven’t seen in a while. There seems to be a lot of them, especially since you usually run out and have to restock halfway through hell week.

Glancing up at your calendar, you count the weeks backwards and then flip it one month prior to check the exact date. 

You laugh aloud to yourself, because, surely, you just forgot to mark the calendar like you always do and you don’t remember restocking the tampons after your period ended. That must be the case because there’s no way in hell you’re two weeks late. It’s simply an impossibility and abundantly more plausible that your memory is failing you rather than your body. 

The skin of your lower lip is bitten raw as your eyes flit between the calendar and the menstrual products which are both staring into your soul. If they could speak, you think they’d be saying “we know what you did.” 

Pushing away from your desk, you take a deep breath and decide the best course of action is to walk around the office. 

Maybe seeing the inside of a bathroom stall will jog your memory of the last time you were bleeding, or passing by the kitchen will force you to recall when you last grabbed some extra candies from the community bowl. 

It’s all for nought. Your excursion around the building is an utter failure, and suddenly the walls of the office feel as though they’re closing in on you. 

Deciding to head home after lunch because you can’t focus anyway, you stop at the corner store by your house and grip your purse strap to stop your hands from shaking as you enter the women’s health aisle. The hundreds of pregnancy tests glare at you from their place on the shelf and you have to sink your teeth into your battered lower lip again to stop anxious tears from forming. 

This must be some horrible nightmare, you tell yourself. You’re gonna wake up and realize you fell asleep at your desk because your job is just that boring. The sharp pinch you apply to your arm forces you to stop lying to yourself.

Groaning in frustration, you analyze both the brands and prices of the demonic little fortune tellers and choose two each from multiple different brands because you need to be real fucking sure. 

You’re two years shy of thirty and you still feel like you’re having a teen pregnancy scare. 

The woman behind the counter is smiling as she places the tests into a bag. It’s probably because she believes you’ll be ecstatic about a positive result and run straight home to tell your husband. Most women your age would be doing so, but you don’t have a husband, you have a childhood best friend who you decided to hook up with for funsies. 

The abundant traffic you hit on the way home only makes your swirling whirlpool of nerves worse, and by the time you’re unlocking your apartment door and rushing to the bathroom, your lip is bleeding from how much skin you’ve ripped. 

You bought six tests, like a crazy person, and so it takes a couple minutes for you to successfully pee on all of them and place them on the counter with their caps on. Setting your phone timer for three minutes, you sit on the toilet seat to wait the eternity of 180 seconds. 

The anticipation eats away at your insides like sulfuric acid, and your leg bounces forcefully as though you’re going through withdrawal. 

Your mind is somersaulting over itself and flopping on the ground like a fish out of water as you wonder how this is even possible. You’re on birth control, and you checked your pills before leaving work; you didn’t miss a single one. 

There’s always the horror stories about the unlucky .01% of women whose contraceptives fail due to stress or poor health, but you don’t think that applies to you. Sure, you don’t join Jungkook at the gym, and work makes you wanna pull your hair out, but you feel great most days. 

The timer derails your train of thought with an incessant buzz. Glancing at the counter, you reach for one of the tests with shaking hands as you pray for the right result. 

Once you find the courage to actually look, your heart stops, and when you stand to see your plethora of pregnancy tests side by side, your eyes bulge from your skull. 

Staring back at you like the fates themselves are three matching sets of a plus sign, two parallel lines, and the word “pregnant.”

Hands slapping against your mouth, you gasp into your palms as reality forces its way into the bathroom with you. Your eyes squeeze shut as tears break from the confines of your waterline. You shake your head a couple times, trying to get your mind files back into their rightful places. It doesn’t work, and all the papers which make up your consciousness go flying all over the place. 

The cacophony of emotions on top of your disembodied mind forces your senses to scramble and discombobulate. 

You’re scared, worried, sad, confused, and shocked, but somewhere inside you’re happy, too. Being a mom is a huge dream of yours and even if it’s unexpected, it’s still a dream come true. 

Unfortunately, happiness is the lowest emotion on the totem pole, and your negative emotions are much closer to the surface. 

Running your hands down your face, you gaze at the tests as a sob shakes through you. You brace your hands on the counter and allow yourself to cry through all of the emotions. The heavy tears drop into the sink below you one by one as you decide what to do next.

First things first, you have to tell the baby’s father.

“Fuck, he’s gonna fucking kill me.” Tipping your head back to send the loose tears back from whence they came, you blow air from your mouth and close your eyes. “He’s gonna hate me. He’s gonna lose his shit and never wanna see me again and I’m gonna —” A sob slices through your windpipe and causes your voice to break. “I’m gonna lose him.”

You hug your knees and let yourself freefall until your butt meets the tile. The floor is cold and your muscles ache from the force of your crash into the ground, but it serves as a momentary distraction from your mental anguish. The sound of your sorrow fills the space as you take heaving breaths and soak your jeans with tears. Usagi scratches at the door and the sound of her little paws calling for you breaks your heart.

Stretching towards the door, you reach and turn the doorknob just enough for it to open. 

You watch fondly as your cat’s little legs carry her to your side. When she reaches you, she jumps into your lap and curls into an adorable ball of love. Fresh tears fall over the sweet affection she’s giving you, and you bend down to kiss her and rub your face in her fur.

“You’re gonna be a big sister, Usagi,” you tell her. 

Eventually, you calm down enough to stand and find your phone. You don’t think you can handle Jungkook’s voice right now, so you text him to come over whenever he’s free. He replies within a few minutes saying he’s got one more meeting and then he’ll be there. You mindlessly stare at his text message as anxiety simmers in your gut. This might just be the one thing that finally comes between you two. 

When Jungkook arrives you’re pacing in a trance around the living room. He unlocks the door with his key and kicks it open since his hands are full with takeout containers. Your eyes threaten to water when you realize he’s bringing you dinner without you asking. 

Your best friend is thoughtful, deliberate, and so, so kind, and here you are about to shatter his world as he knows it.

At the very second his two feet step into your apartment, you scurry across the floor and throw your arms around his neck. He takes an involuntary step back and drops the bags when you barrel into him, a deep chuckle coming from his chest that you feel against your own. 

“Bams?” 

You manhandle the emotions trying to escape back into their cages. You want, no, need, at least one more moment with him as you are now, before everything changes forever.

His arms wrap around you on instinct, one of his hands resting on the back of your head to cradle you closer. 

“Sorry,” you say as you reluctantly let go. “Rough day.”

“Well, I brought kimchi fried rice, so it can’t be that rough,” he jokes. 

You fake a smile and nod in agreement before grabbing one of the containers to bring it to the kitchen. Once he places the second one down, you tap your nails against the countertop and contemplate whether or not to wait. Jungkook, clearly oblivious to your turmoil, is already moving towards the fridge to grab a drink before sitting on the couch. It’s now or never, you suppose.

Each step you take to stand across from him feels like trudging through concrete and the overwhelming anxiety is gnawing at you like a wild animal. The notion that this could be the last time you see him smiling at you or have the ability to hear him laugh is debilitating.

You click your heels once you’re opposite him on the other side of the coffee table. He raises an eyebrow at you in a silent question, but you ignore his confusion and fill your lungs with the charged air.

“I’m pregnant.”

You didn't know silence could be so deafening. 

Jungkook’s cola bottle falls from his hands onto the floor with a plastic boing sound. The noise feels inappropriate for the tension of the room. His pupils are shaking as his eyes grow in size exponentially and the skin between his eyebrows creases as his lips part. Even from here you can see his mouth’s run completely dry. 

You take another deep breath, but you aren’t able to stop your emotions from leaking out anymore. 

“And I’m really, really scared,” you say as your voice breaks. 

Jungkook immediately snaps out of his daze when he hears your tone of voice, all of his previously tense features softening as he stands to reach you. 

The next thing you know, his warm hands are caressing your cheeks as he brushes the tears away.

“Hey, hey, Bambi,” he whispers. “It’s okay. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” You cry harder at the gentle nature of his voice, like he’s worried he’ll break you if he talks too loud. “I’m right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere. You’ve got me, alright? We’ve got each other. That's all that matters.”

“You aren’t mad?” 

“Mad?” Jungkook tilts his head in confusion. “You thought I would be mad at you, Bams?” You nod as best you can with your face caught between his hands. Jungkook frowns deeply. “Why would I be mad?”

“Because… because my birth control fucking failed and now we’re… we’re gonna be parents and —”

“That’s not your fault,” Jungkook interrupts. “I’m the one who creampied you, Bambi.”

“Yeah, but I told you to.”

“Oh, I assure you, I would’ve asked if you hadn’t.”

Despite your current emotional state, you laugh at his explanation. Your tears slowly, but surely, subside after a few more minutes. Gripping his wrists, you remove his hands from your face and hold them instead. 

“I’m still sorry,” you say quietly. 

“Don’t apologize,” he responds, then tilts your chin up. “You’re gonna make me a dad, Bams. That’s nothing to apologize for.”

The sigh of relief you exhale is exuberant. A smile creeps onto your face and Jungkook mirrors the expression before a mischievous grin appears instead. 

He encompasses your waist and lifts you into the air in one swoop, you screech at the sudden movement and koala him to keep yourself from falling. He giggles incessantly as he spins you both around in circles in the middle of your living room. 

“Koo! Put me down!”  

He obeys after a moment, but not before bending his knees to dip you down towards the floor. You squeal until a fit of laughter overtakes you as he slowly brings you both back up to his full height. 

“I’m so happy, Bams, you have no idea,” he tells you wholeheartedly. 

Once the laughter subsides, you inhale fondly and caress his jaw with one of your hands.

“Me, too,” you admit. 

A full blown bunny smile greets you and Jungkook nuzzles his nose against yours, making you giggle and blush a rosy pink hue. When your feet are on the earth again, you head for the kitchen, but Jungkook stops you with a hand to your forearm.

“Can I…” Jungkook begins to ask, his eyes glancing towards your stomach. 

“Can you what, Koo?” 

“Can I, ya know, touch?” 

Looking down at your stomach, which is still identical to its normal size, you raise an eyebrow at him, but find yourself nodding yes anyway.

He giggles delightfully and places his palm over your abdomen, where soon enough you’ll have a baby bump. 

“Man, this is fucking awesome.” You find yourself chuckling at his excitement over literally nothing at all yet. “Can I come to your doctor’s appointments?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to go to them without you,” you answer. “I still have to make the first one. I only took the tests a couple hours ago.” 

“Were you alone?” He’s frowning as he asks, regret evident in his tone. 

“Usagi was there.”

Jungkook scoffs, chuckling knowingly as he shakes his head and follows you into the kitchen. 

You eat together as though you didn’t just deliver life alternating news. Which honestly, is the only outcome that ever would’ve come to fruition. Perhaps the staggering emotions of finding out you’re pregnant made you forget just how much you two love and care for each other. Your friendship is backed by nearly three decades of time spent together, and even something as massive as a baby can’t shake that foundation. 

What might shake the foundation of a house is the screams of joy your mothers are going to let out when you tell them. They’ve been begging you for a shared grandchild since you graduated college. 

Jungkook is supportively holding your hand as you two stand on the front porch of your house, which is conveniently down the street from his house, because that’s just how close your parents are. You can’t blame them, you’re sure you and Jungkook will be the same one day, especially now. 

The memories of your childhood are flooding through your mind while you stand in the familiar location. It gets you thinking about all the new memories you’ll make with your own child one day. 

Releasing the tension from your neck, you nod at Jungkook to let him know you’re ready. He returns the gesture and lets go of your hand to knock on the door. Unsurprisingly, it’s his mother’s face who comes into view from the other side of the screen door.

“Oh, Kookie! What are you two doing here?” She asks cheerfully.

“What are you doing here, Mom?” Jungkook asks as he hugs her. 

“Oh, you know I practically live here.”

You laugh, knowing how right she is, and give her a big, bear hug. Her comforting presence always eases your anxieties, especially now when you’re worried about their reaction to your news. 

She guides you through the house as though it’s her own and leads you into the kitchen where your mom is cooking dinner. You greet her with a hug and kiss on the cheek as she stirs the pot on the stove. Jungkook follows suit, resting his head on her shoulder as he hugs her side. 

Your mom tells you she’s nearly done and to go sit. She joins you a few minutes later after turning the stove off and removing the food from the heat.

“Seriously, kids, what did you come all this way for?” Jungkook’s mom asks once you’re all sitting around the kitchen table. 

“It’s not that far,” you say. 

“No, but you two never show up unannounced like this,” your mom states. 

“We have something to tell you,” Jungkook says. 

His hand finds yours under the table and gives it a comforting squeeze, out of the eyesight of your mothers. Your petrified eyes flicker towards him, but he just nods and smiles reassuringly at you. You lick your lips and sit up as a way of giving yourself a moment of reprieve before you change the entire atmosphere of the home. 

“I’m pregnant,” you announce. “We’re having a baby.”

“WE?” They scream in unison. 

You instantly lose all their attention. They’re too busy screaming like school girls while clasping their hands together and shaking them in excitement. You and Jungkook share a sideways glance and have to suppress a laugh. 

“When did this happen? How long have you been dating?” Your mom asks.

Both your faces pale at her question, not thinking far enough ahead to prepare for these types of inquiries.

“Um, we’re not,” you tell her. 

“What do you mean, you’re not? How did you get pregnant then?”

Jungkook awkwardly clears his throat and messes with the collar of his shirt as tension fills the room. Never in a million years did you think you’d be talking about your and Jungkook’s sexscapades with your moms. 

“We just hooked up, a one time thing,” you answer. 

“So, you’re not together?” His mom wonders. You both shake your heads, hating the look of disappointment that crosses their features. “Are you gonna try?”

“Maybe… maybe one day, Mom,” Jungkook answers. “But right now we just wanna focus on being the best parents we can be.” 

They reluctantly accept his answer before moving onto all the nitty gritty details like asking when your next appointment is, if you’re going to find out the gender, etc. 

The four of you eat dinner together but unfortunately, your dads are away on a fishing trip together, so you don’t get to tell them the news tonight. Your moms promise to relay their reactions to you through the phone upon their return. 

With your parents out of the way, your friends are up next to bat, but you don’t expect that announcement to go as well as this one. 

Your first gynecologist appointment is the following week, and you and Jungkook both take the day off from work so you can go together. It’s pretty nerve wracking, but you’re mostly excited to see the first ultrasound pictures of your little peanut. 

Jungkook drives you to the appointment in his black Mercedes Benz and it lowkey makes you feel like his knocked up sugar baby. He didn’t grow up with money, so he’s still humble, but he definitely enjoys splurging on his choice of car, if anything. It’s certainly not a bad thing to be having a kid with someone who’s financially well off, but you hate taking advantage of Jungkook’s wealth even when he offers. 

He reverses the car into a parking spot, his arm moving to the headrest behind you as he looks over his shoulder to fit in the space. Upon exiting the car, you come around the hood where Jungkook is waiting for you with his hand out. You take it without a second thought and lace his fingers with yours as you walk into the dauntingly large medical building together. 

Your foot rapidly taps against the elevator as it inches up to the third floor. When the doors open after what feels like an eternity, the office can only be described as a haven for expecting mothers.

Everywhere in sight there are women with swollen bellies of varying degrees, most of them accompanied by their doting partners. As you scan the room, you notice one thing in common with almost all of them; they all have big, shiny rings on their fingers. 

You pout instinctually, green envy coating your insides. It’s not as though you’ve been hunting for a husband, it’s honestly been the last thing on your mind, but you’d be lying if you said you aren’t jealous they have spouses and you have a baby daddy. You love Jungkook, more than anything in the world, and there isn’t anyone else you can imagine having a kid with, but it’s not the same as these men and women looking at their pregnant partners like they hung the stars in the sky. 

Jungkook notices your unintentional scowl and tugs on your hand to grab your attention. He raises an eyebrow at you, but you just shake your head and proceed towards the reception desk. 

“Hi, an appointment under Jeon,” you tell the woman behind the desk. You hear Jungkook make a noise of curiosity from beside you. “Figured we should do everything under the baby’s last name, it’s simpler that way.”

“The baby’s gonna have my last name?” 

His eyes sparkle with wonder and your heart soars.

“Yeah, you’re the dad, Koo.”

“I know, but I thought since we aren’t together —”

“No,” you cut him off. “It’s baby Jeon, a hundred percent.” 

He smiles so big his eyes disappear and his bunny teeth make an appearance. You roll your eyes affectionately before turning your attention back to the receptionist as she hands you a clipboard with some paperwork to complete.  

Both of you have to call your respective mothers at one point while filling out the extensive medical history forms. Once the twenty or so pages are complete, Jungkook returns it to the receptionist before joining you again in the waiting room. You sit with identical bouncing knees as the minutes tick by in heavy anticipation.

When your name is finally called, the two of you leap up and hurry over to the nurse who’ll lead you to the observation room.

They take some vitals, draw your blood for the formal pregnancy test, and go over the paperwork, getting the more mundane, administrative details out the way before handing you a gown and instructing you to lay down for the ultrasound. 

Jungkook excitedly rubs his palms together and stomps his feet when the nurse leaves and you get ready to see your baby for the first time. 

Ever the gentleman, he looks everywhere but at you as you strip to put the gown on, which is so adorable you almost combust. He put a baby in you and yet he’s respectful enough to look away when you undress in front of him, what a fucking doll. 

Your feet tap an unknown melody against the stirrups as you wait and Jungkook scrolls on his phone absentmindedly. The doctor alerts you with a short knock before opening the door and popping her head in.

“Hi, you guys,” she greets you. She shakes Jungkook’s hand and then yours before rolling a stool over to sit between your legs. “How are you both doing?”

“Good.”

“Great.”

“Good, good,” she smiles. “So, great news, you are indeed pregnant! Based on your hormone levels it looks like you’re about eight weeks along.”

Even though you know the exact date and time your baby was conceived, the sensual moment permanently etched into your memory, and it’s impossible to be anything else besides divine intervention, you still sigh in relief over everything lining up as it should. 

“Before we get to the ultrasound, I just want to go over a couple things that I always do with new parents, alright?” 

“Sure,” you agree with a smile. 

“Okay, we won’t be discussing labor and delivery until you’re a little farther along because there’s a lot to take in at first and it can be pretty overwhelming,” she explains. “I just want to make sure you both are in a good place, have everything you need from me, and availability to any resources you may need during this time.” She looks at you expectantly and you nod your head to convey you understand. “Alright, so tell me a little bit about yourselves.”

You gesture towards Jungkook and he points to his chest with his hand. When you nod, he clears his throat and sits up straighter.

“Hi, Jungkook, she calls me Koo,” he starts. “I’m a head video game designer and have a house just outside the city. I have a Doberman named Bam. I box in my free time… not sure what else you need to know.”

“No, that’s great,” she reassures him. She turns her attention to you.

“I’m Y/N, but he calls me Bambi, and don’t ask, we can’t remember why,” you laugh. “I’m an administrative assistant and rent an apartment in the city and have a munchkin cat named Usagi. In my free time I read, mostly.”

“So, you two don’t live together?” You both shake your heads. “Are you exes, just haven’t moved in together yet, something else?” 

“Best friends,” you tell her. Then, because it’s confusing for most people that you’re pregnant with your best friend’s baby, you continue. “We decided to have some fun one night and now we’re gonna be having fun together for the next 18 years.”

She laughs lightheartedly at your story.

“Alright, I like the sound of that. You’re supposed to be going through this with your best friend, anyway,” she says. “How long have you known one another?”

“I was strapped in a baby carrier to my mom’s chest in the hospital room while she was being born,” Jungkook states.

“Oh, wow.”

“Yeah,” you add.

“Well, that’s great, you two! You’ve got a long history together and that can only make for wonderful teamwork.”

There are some more details you discuss regarding the first trimester and the vitamins you’ll be taking. You go over the common symptoms for this time frame and how best to remedy them. Once that’s settled, she finally pulls out the ultrasound machine and you get jittery just from the sight. You’re so eager to see your baby and when Jungkook joins you by your side, he radiates the same energy. He’s sitting to your left now and you bend your arm up to hold his hand. Jungkook smiles at your actions and clasps his hand around yours with a tight squeeze. 

Jumping when you feel the cool gel on your skin, you ignore the novel sensation and wait impatiently for the image of your baby to appear on the monitor. 

Before you see anything, a steady, rhythmic thumping plays throughout the room. 

You and Jungkook gasp in unison.

“And that’s a heartbeat,” the doctor says with a big smile. 

Jungkook rests his head on yours and your free hand wraps around to tousle his hair affectionately. 

The visual on the screen doesn’t make much sense at first, but then the doctor pauses her movements along your abdomen and clicks the keyboard to take some still shots. 

“So, this is your baby,” she says while pointing to the small peanut shape amongst all the black and white fuzziness. “They’re about the size of a kidney bean right now.”

“A kidney bean!” Jungkook cheers. “How flippin’ cute.”

You giggle while glancing back at him. His starry eyes are shining and glossy while he admires the monitor showing him his future child.

“Are you two going to find out the gender? That will happen at your twelve-week follow up.”

“No, we’re gonna keep it a surprise,” you answer. 

“Great choice, it’s always so fun that way.”

She points out a couple more things on the ultrasound before turning the machine off and printing the pictures she took, making sure to print two copies so you and Jungkook can each have one. 

When you peek at him once the doctor leaves so you can get dressed, he’s staring at the photos while his thumb gently traces over the shiny paper right where your baby is. You feel tears forming in the corners of your eyes, but keep them under control with a sniffle and scrunch of your nose.

TWO

You have two main friend groups, one which is mutual with Jungkook, consisting of six other guys and three girls besides yourself, and another group of all girls, four of them in addition to you. Sometimes you mix the groups, and they all get along just fine, some better than others, wink wink, but usually you see them on separate occasions. 

Tonight is monthly wine night with your girls, which, of course, you won’t be partaking in, although you plan on faking it. 

You’re unsure about telling your friends just yet. It’s been nice having this sweet little secret just between you and Jungkook, thoroughly enjoying the whispers of excitement you share as you admire your miniature baby bump together. Of course, that enthusiasm is shared between you and your mothers who message you daily for updates. 

The bump forming over your womb isn’t noticeable in the slightest unless you’re wearing something abhorrently tight, and even then, you look bloated at best. So, you can easily get away with hiding your little bundle of joy for a few more weeks. 

It’s a fact the girls will be absolutely ecstatic for you and completely supportive, so it’s not fear holding you back. Maybe judgment? The circumstances of your pregnancy are far from ordinary and you don’t want a lecture from anyone regarding your questionable choices. Your friends adore Jungkook, since they’ve known him as long as they’ve known you, and they’re fully aware of how wonderful he is, but being a friend and being a father are two very different things and it wouldn’t be totally unreasonable for them to have doubts.

Grabbing some wine to pass from the corner store, you drive to Nayeon’s place just up the road. The five of you rotate hosts monthly and tonight is her night. You won’t have the pleasure of hosting again for another four months since your turn was last month. You’re bringing wine along to keep suspicions to a minimum, and you plan on filling your glass with some sparkling grape juice you also snagged. 

When you arrive, Jihyo and Mina are standing by their cars cackling at something on their phones. As you exit and lock your car with a click, you wave and approach the laughing banshees with a smile.

Their faces shine bright when they see you and enthusiastically return the wave.

“Bitch, it’s only been a month and I missed you so fucking much,” Mina cries as she pulls you in for a crippling hug. 

“Are you drunk already?” You question due to her out of character language and how she’s slumping against you.

“Nooo.”

“Don’t worry, I drove her here,” Jihyo, ever the mom friend, assures you. 

You enter Nayeon’s apartment as a trio, her door already unlocked for the occasion, as you update each other on surface level things like work and hobbies. 

Nayeon and Tzuyu are in the kitchen with a glass of wine already in hand while they gossip about something. You know they’re gossiping because their expressions are dramatically shuffling through different emotions like shock, confusion, and disgust. 

They wave excitedly when they notice your entrance and quickly finish their conversation before joining you. 

Jihyo places Mina delicately on the couch and instructs her to stay still so she can grab her a glass of water. You follow Jihyo into the kitchen, peering over your shoulder at your other friend who’s now lackadaisically swaying side to side.

“Ji, why is Mina drunk off her ass right now?” 

Jihyo sighs as she grabs a cup and glances towards the living room to visually check on the topic of your conversation. 

“Her and Mingyu broke up.”

“No!” You gasp, your hands covering your mouth in disbelief. “Did he dump her?”

“She won’t tell me! She just sits on my bed and cries for hours.”

Jihyo and Mina are roommates, but Mina has been hoping to move in with Mingyu for a while now and was merely waiting for him to ask.

“Oh no, my poor girl.”

“I’m hoping tonight will help and maybe she’ll finally open up about what happened,” Jihyo says. “You wanna try my wine?”

“Oh, no, I’ve got my own,” you tell her and show off the bottle of fake alcohol you peeled the label off of. 

She recognizes your answer with a nod before heading back to Mina. By the time you return with her water she’s relaying the information to Nayeon and Tzuyu through tears and slurred sentences. 

You hug Tzuyu from behind and she warmly wraps her arms around your own to reciprocate the affection. After repeating the embrace with Nayeon, you take a seat on her armchair and pour the grape juice into the wine glass she left out for you. 

The five of you update each other like always, since that’s the main purpose of these get-togethers. It’s your sacred time to dive into the messy and dirty details of your lives over the last month.

Mina is unanimously nominated to go first once she’s consumed a couple glasses of water to sober her up a bit. She explains how her and Mingyu, her boyfriend of nearly four years, broke up because he isn’t ready to settle down. Apparently it was mutual, but she’s still head over heels for him and is having a terrible time trying to move on.

The four of you hold her while she cries until eventually, she tires herself out, and you move on to Tzuyu.

The conversation circles through everyone until you’re finally the center of attention. There’s a piece of you that still wants to stow away your secret for a little while longer, but you’re also so excited for them to share in your joy that you can barely stand holding it in.

“Okay, so, technically this happened two wine nights ago, but I wasn’t ready to tell you guys just yet,” you begin. You suck in a breath through your teeth and take a sip of your drink even though there’s no liquid courage in the glass. “Jungkook and I hooked up.”

The gasps from your friends are so loud you think they sucked all the air from the room. 

“No fucking way.”

“I freaking knew it would happen one day!”

“Oh my God?”

“Please tell me he’s got a big dick, I just know he has a big dick.”

You laugh into your glass at the multitude of different reactions before continuing. Sighing in content remembrance, you lean forward and rest your elbows on your knees.

“He’s. Fucking. Huge.”

Somehow, their gasps this time are even louder. 

“No, no, you need to spill right fucking now. I want every dirty fucking detail, baby,” Nayeon says.

“There honestly isn’t that much to tell. We were watching a movie, he brought it up, it happened, bada-bing bada-boom,” you state.

“Are you two together now?” Jihyo asks.

“No,” you shake your head. “We just wanted to see what it was like, you know?”

“Bitch,” Tzuyu scoffs. “You just told us your ungodly handsome, sweet, filthy rich, jacked as fuck best friend has a huge dick and you’re gonna look at me and say it was a one time thing?”

“You guys know it’s not like that with us,” you respond. “I love him, like, with everything in me, and obviously, I know how attractive he is, but I don’t get butterflies around him or think about him first thing in the morning.” You sit back in the chair. “The love I have for him is so much greater than romantic love. I mean, never say never, but we’re both completely content with the way we are.” 

“Hear hear,” Jihyo says with a clink of her nails against her glass. 

Nibbling on your lip, you count the bubbles floating in your drink as you decide whether or not you’re ready for the actual reveal.

“There is… more, though,” you quietly admit. Everyone leans in and you shake your head back and forth to prepare for the biggest confession you’ll ever make to them. “I’m pregnant.”

The gasps this time are so volatile two of them start coughing and Jihyo walks her ass straight out of the room with a hand over her mouth. 

“Shut the fuck up right now,” Nayeon snaps. 

“He knocked you up?” Mina’s drunk ass shouts. 

“Mmhmm.”

“Are you… happy about that?” Tzuyu tentatively asks. 

The massive grin forming on your face reveals your answer before you can give it, and you start nodding overdramatically while you giggle. 

“Oh my God! You’re pregnant!” Tzuyu cheers now that she’s aware of your excitement.

“You’re gonna be a mom!” Nayeon claps.

“We’re gonna be aunts!” Mina adds. 

Jihyo returns to the room with fresh tears on her cheeks.

“Ji,” you coo at her. 

She hiccups out a weak chuckle as she pulls you into her for a bear hug. The other girls follow suit and surround you until the five of you are basically cuddling in the middle of Nayeon’s living room. Suddenly, someone starts jumping and the force shakes the floorboards as you all join in and chant “yay yay yay” on repeat. 

The whimsicality of girlhood never fails to paint a smile on your face.

The following weekend you have plans with your other friend group. You usually rotate through a few different activities you all enjoy and tonight is karaoke, which is one of your personal favorites. 

Jungkook gets ready at your place so you can eat dinner together beforehand since the food at the karaoke bar is stupidly overpriced. He never fails to remind you he can afford it and is more than willing to pay for your meal, but you don’t like using his money unless it’s absolutely necessary. You’re a big girl who can pay for herself and he understands your desire for independence.

You’re at the vanity finishing your makeup when he enters with another bowl of rice he grabbed after finishing your meal. He takes up purchase on your bed and eats absentmindedly while his eyes follow the movement of your wrist coating your lashes in mascara.

The feeling of his stare creates goosebumps on your skin and an involuntary smile appears in the mirror. No doubt your foundation hides the blush springing forth as well.

“You look pretty, Bams,” he compliments. 

“Thank you!”

The now empty bowl meets your nightstand with a clank as he moves to stand beside you. He leans down until you’re side by side in the mirror and gives you his cheesiest smile. You snort at his antics and continue to giggle while dropping your mascara into the pile of other makeup tools. 

“Cute,” you tell him. 

He smiles successfully and extends his hands towards you. You graciously accept his offer and stand to your full height. Just as you’re heading for your closet to grab shoes, Jungkook ensnares your wrist and eyes you hopefully. Raising an eyebrow at his actions, you wait for him to speak his mind.

“Can I see it?” 

The eye roll is automatic at this point.

“Koo, my baby bump is not any bigger than it was a few days ago. It’s barely a bump as is! I could eat pasta and grow bigger than I am now,” you tell him.

“It doesn’t matter, I just like knowing they’re in there,” he says with a huge smile. “My little kidney bean.”

“They’re a plum now, remember?” 

Jungkook just stares you down expectantly rather than responding. Begrudgingly, but still with a smile on your face, you push your jacket away so he can see the barely noticeable hump over your abdomen. He giggles, his feet taking turns leaving the floor, and places both hands on you, caressing your womb ever so gently. 

“My little plum,” he sighs happily. 

You're so utterly endeared by him and his nature that it makes you sick. 

Once Jungkook is done holding the little plum, you leave to meet your friends at the karaoke bar. 

Throughout the drive you discuss whether or not to announce the pregnancy to your friends. Jungkook knows you told the girls, and was unnecessarily smug about their interest in his size, but your mutual friends are another animal entirely. 

Everyone met at one point or another during college and by graduation you’d become one massive, conjoined group of lovable idiots. All eleven of you are extremely close, even if the bonds you share are unique to each individual pair. You know things about one another no one else does and they’re always the first people you tell about good news.

Jungkook is more anxious than you about telling them, especially since he’s yet to let the cat out of the bag to anyone besides your parents. He’s the youngest among the boys and his biggest fear is disappointing them. Not that they would be, because even though they're a group of seven men, they’re the kindest people in the world, but Jungkook’s always been sensitive about their opinion of him because he idolizes them so much.

By the time you reach the bar you’ve mutually agreed to hold off for now and proceed to exit the car together. Jungkook instinctively places his hand on your lower back as you walk in and a hostess tells you which room your friends occupy.

Upon opening the door to the private karaoke suite, you’re met by the booming sound of cheers from all nine people packed inside. Everyone rises from their seats to hug you one by one before letting you settle into the couch across from the karaoke machine and mini stage. 

“What are you drinking tonight?” Yunjin asks you as she takes the seat to your right.

Jimin, Hoseok, and Yoongi are already flipping through the songbook next to the stage for the perfect opening song. 

“Can’t, I’m Koo’s designated driver for tonight,” you tell her.

“We’re gonna be here for hours like always, you should have one, at least,” she says.

“Maybe,” you say with an appreciative smile. 

Lying to the people you love most isn’t exactly easy, especially when you already suck at it, but Yunjin seems to take you at your word and returns her focus to the opposite side of the room.

The opening beats of an R&B song fill the air and you turn your attention to the three jackals on stage as they belt their hearts out together. You admire them with a massive grin and are thoroughly impressed by how they manage to make complete fools of themselves while still hitting all the notes. 

The other girls join you sometime during the bridge, Chaewon taking the empty seat by you while Eunchae goes next to Yunjin. Eunchae tells everyone she got a promotion at work, so you clink your glasses together to cheer for her, yours being filled with cola instead of alcohol.

“Here, try my drink, it’s so good!” Chaewon says as she passes the glass to you. You shake your head and tell her the same lie you told Yunjin. Unfortunately, Chaewon is less forgiving than your other friend. “It’s just a sip, girliepop!”

You shoot her a warning glance, and luckily, the two other women are distracted by Namjoon and Jin’s soulful duet on stage. Due to your decade long friendship, you and Chaewon share the unique ability to speak without any words, and your silent conversation goes something like this.

You, glaring at her with your head tilted. Don’t.

Her, sitting back a little with her eyebrows raised. Bitch?

You, nodding minutely a couple times. Yup.

Her, eyes wide with a hand on her chest. You’re pregnant?

You, nodding while staring her down. Can you fucking believe it?

Her, brow creasing and slowly shaking her head. Who the fuck is the dad?

You, holding up a hand to block the view from the others while pointing at Jungkook who’s sitting across the room. Jungkook.

Her, hand over her mouth, eyes bulging out of her head. You’re fucking joking! 

So, that’s how Chaewon finds out, and your final signal to her is your pointer finger pressing against your lips so she knows this is still a massive secret.

Jungkook and Taehyung take the stage next, and they’re always an entertaining pair, so you both pay close attention. It’s debatable whether that was a good decision, because the rest of you end up with aching cramps from the intense fits of laughter. You're all desperately clutching your stomachs as the two of them jump around and sing in each other’s faces to a song that does not call for that type of choreography. You’re 99% sure it’s a breakup song from a K-Drama. 

You’re still wiping the tears from your eyes when Eunchae speaks up breathlessly.

“God, I don’t know why, but this reminds me of when the boys performed in the university talent show,” she states.

“Oh shit, I totally forgot about that,” Yunjin responds.

“Wait, what are you guys talking about?” Jimin says as he sits next to Yunjin.

“Don’t you remember? You guys wore those hockey jerseys and covered that 90s song,” you tell him. “It was so good!”

Jin nods from the other side of the couch and starts laughing as he remembers the performance.

“That was so long ago! I remember it being super fun, though,” he says.

“Please don’t bring that up, that was the most embarrassing day of my life,” Yoongi groans.

“Oh please, Min, you secretly loved it,” Chaewon teases him.

You gasp when you realize it’s definitely still stored somewhere in your phone. Pulling the device out of your pocket, you scoot over so Jungkook can sit next to you while you scroll through your camera roll from almost ten years ago. Taehyung joins you and leans over Jungkook’s shoulder to see as well. 

“Found it!” You squeal.

Unable to resist reliving the memory, everyone gathers behind you to watch. Your previous fits of laughter make a gnarly comeback as you marvel at the younger versions of them dancing and singing their little hearts out. They look like babies in comparison and it makes you swoon.

“That was literally another lifetime,” Namjoon says once the video is done playing.

“Man, we were so fucking cool,” Hoseok states proudly.

“Jungkook, you should wear your hair like that again,” Yunjin says. “You looked fucking hot.”

“Fuck yeah he did, rumor has it Kook lost his virginity that night,” Taehyung jokes as he squeezes Jungkook’s bicep.

“Yo! Shut the hell up, I lost my virginity in high school,” Jungkook retorts. He takes a swig of his drink and chuckles against the glass. “It was the first time I fucked raw, though.”

“Clearly not the last,” you say under your breath.

Jungkook turns to you with his eyes bugging out and you have to stifle your laugh with your hand. Resting your forehead on his shoulder, you gain control of your laughter and whisper a halfhearted apology to him. 

“Ok, girlies, let’s fuck this shit up,” Chaewon annonces. 

Yunjin and Eunchae both chug the last of their drinks before grabbing each of your hands so you can take the stage together. You diligently flip through the songbook to find the perfect one while the guys converse about a recent video game release. Gasping when you spot a familiar song title, you point to the page and eye the girls with a mischievous smirk.

“Wait, don’t we know the dance for this?” Yunjin asks.

You and Eunchae nod together. 

“Oh, we are gonna leave these men fucking gagged,” Chaewon states before plugging the selection into the karaoke machine. 

Chaewon hits the nail on the head, because as soon as the song begins and you start shaking your asses like a bonafide girl group, the men go insane. The seven of them act like they’re your biggest stans who paid for a ticket just to see this. 

Hoseok and Jimin stand to the right of the stage throwing invisible money over you all, while Taehyung and Jungkook are sitting on the end couch spanking the air back and forth. Yoongi is covering his eyes with his hand while he shakes his head, but he’s still peeking at your performance between his fingers. Namjoon is bent over with his elbows on his knees and his hands under his chin like he’s trying to analyze the way your asses bounce. Jin stands with a glass in each hand as he dances along and screams your names in a repeating chant at the top of his lungs. 

When you finish the show stopping performance, all of them are almost as breathless as you from cheering so much. 

“Fuck, why am I hard right now?”

“That was spectacular.”

“You guys were so good!”

“I think I just came.”

“Amazing, bravo.”

“Encore!”

“Remind me why we’re all just friends?”

All four of you are panting as you hop off the stage and attempt to slow your racing heartbeats. Jimin notices you don’t have a drink and goes to hand his glass of vodka cranberry to you.

“Here, you look like you could use this.”

Just as you’re about to wave him off and reject his offer, Chaewon interrupts. 

“Y/N can’t have alcohol,” she states. 

Eyes blowing wide, you glare and wordlessly scold her with your facial expressions, throwing your hands up incredulously for good measure. Poor Jungkook looks like a deer in headlights since you didn’t get the chance to tell him she knows.

“Why not?” Yoongi asks from across the table.

“Are you okay? Nothing’s wrong, right?” Yunjin adds.

“No, no,” you answer with a nonchalant wave of your hand. “Just this new medication I’m on.”

“Which one? Prenatal vitamins?” Eunchae jokes as she takes a drink. Your lip catches between your teeth as you look at her with wide, worrisome eyes. Her expression shifts into shock when she notices your face over the rim of her glass. “Holy fuck, I was joking. Y/N, are you pregnant?”

“Um… yes?” 

The eight people in the room who weren’t previously aware inhale simultaneously to berate you with questions, but are all stopped short by Taehyung speaking first.

“Who the fuck put a baby in you?” 

Gnawing on your lip as your mind scrambles for an answer, your eyes flit to Jungkook for support, but his face is paler than a ghost. You reluctantly accept your fate and sigh in defeat. 

“J… Ju… Jungkook did.”

All hell breaks loose. 

You’re fighting off Eunchae, Yunjin, Namjoon, and Hoseok with your hands up in surrender as you vigorously shake your head back and forth. Jungkook is slowly sinking into his seat with his arms out in defense as Jimin, Taehyung, Jin, and Yoongi descend on him like a pack of ravenous wolves. Everyone’s screaming voices are louder than any of the singing tonight and if someone took a picture of the room it could only be classified as a goddamn renaissance painting.

Once the initial shock wears off and Jungkook finally comes to his senses, he shakes his head to collect his thoughts and stands up.

“Everyone, shut the fuck up! My bun is in that oven and I don’t need you assholes stunting their growth with your screaming,” he shouts. 

“Oh, please don’t refer to me as an oven, Koo,” you grimace.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Bams.”

“Yeah, but —”

“Hey!” Eunchae interrupts you. “Lovebirds, you wanna fucking tell us how you got knocked up?” 

Jungkook clears his throat. 

“Well, Eunnie, you see, when a mommy and daddy love each other very mu — AH!”

Jungkook’s mock explanation is cut short by him ducking to avoid the couch pillow Eunchae chucks at his head. 

“Be fucking for real, Jeon. Why is your demon spawn in my best friend?” 

“Hey, don’t talk about our little plum like that,” Jungkook frowns. 

“Little plum?” Jimin and Taehyung speak in unison. 

Jungkook sighs dreamily before responding. 

“That’s how big they are right now.”

“It just happened!” You state. “We just fucked for shits and gigs and now we’re here.”

“You let Jungkook come in you for shits and gigs?” Hoseok asks with his signature face of judgement.

The implications of his tone make you pout and cross your arms over your chest.

“Yes, and it was very enjoyable, thank you very much.”

“Oh, ew.”

“For real?”

“Ah, fuck no.”

Chaewon fake gags with a finger in her mouth. 

“Wait, wait,” Namjoon steps into the center of the room. “How is this gonna work? Are you two gonna co-parent? Switch off houses every other week?”

“I… don’t know,” you answer honestly before looking at Jungkook. He shrugs with his arms out, clearly just as clueless about those details as you. “We haven’t gotten that far yet.”

“Are you gonna find out the gender?” Chaewon asks excitedly, but you quickly shake your head and she frowns. “How am I supposed to get my future niece or nephew the perfect gift if I don’t know their gender?”

“Gender neutral?” You suggest. 

You hear Jin exhale overdramatically and when you look towards him he’s downing a shot and slamming the glass down afterwards. 

“What the fuck is going on?” He shakes his head and his lips make a horse-like noise. “I mean, we’re talking about Jungkook and Y/N having a baby… a motherfucking child.”

“Yeah, and they’re gonna be the best parents ever,” Yoongi states wholeheartedly. 

Yoongi finds your eyes across the room, his adorable gummy smile on full display, and reaffirms his words with a nod. You return the smile gratefully, thanking him with a slow blink as you hold his eye contact. 

“Are you alright? I mean, like, you’re good?” Yunjin asks you. 

“Yeah,” you nod. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, especially now that you guys know.”

“What about you, Kook?” Taehyung asks from where he sits beside him. 

Jungkook looks over his shoulder at his friend, the biggest, bunniest grin imaginable on his face.

“I’m fucking ecstatic,” he answers. 

Jimin takes two large strides and hugs Jungkook’s head to his chest, ruffling his hair affectionately. Hoseok joins in next, squishing Jungkook’s cheeks between his hands and giving him adorable fish lips.

“Our Jungkookie is gonna be a dad!” Hoseok coos in his best baby voice. 

Your attention is pulled away by Yunjin’s hand on your lower back. She smiles when you turn around and pulls you into a powerful embrace which you reciprocate. Eunchae and Chaewon join the hug and you rest your head on Chaewon’s shoulder. You know how hard she is on herself whenever she screws up, and this is your way of letting her know it’s alright.

When you part, you feel a tug on your hand, and before you know it Jungkook is bringing you into his lap. You giggle as he tucks you into his chest and nuzzles his face in your neck. 

There’s a brief moment where it feels as though it’s just you and him, and it’s more needed than you even realized. Jungkook’s recognizably warm presence calming you down after the hectic atmosphere of the room took you for a loop.

Everyone moseys around to take a seat as the adrenaline from the news simmers. The eleven of you actually do some catching up rather than just singing and drinking, and eventually smaller faction conversations happen all around the table.  

You stay on Jungkook’s lap the rest of the night with his hand resting on the outside of your thigh to keep you against him.

It’s abnormal behavior for you two, usually keeping a rather firm boundary of friendship, the time you conceived a child together aside, but you don’t question it. Maybe it’s the child in your womb wanting to be close to their father or perhaps the uptick in hormones skewing your regular emotional landscape. Either way, Jungkook doesn’t seem to mind your weight on him and neither do you. 

By the time the clock strikes two in the morning, and you’ve all gone a couple more rounds on the karaoke machine, your head is resting on Jungkook’s shoulder as you flicker in and out of consciousness. He soothingly rubs your spine with his hand, making sure to add more pressure to your lower back where it’s been hurting ever since becoming pregnant. Curling into him more in response, you push your face into his neck and hum contently at the familiar scent and warmth. 

“You tired, Bams?” He whispers to you, moving some hair away from your face. You answer with a single nod, your eyes already closing again from the heaviness of sleep. “Okay, let’s go.”

Jungkook helps you stand, and you hug all your friends goodbye one by one. Everyone congratulates you both again while also threatening to show up to your homes univinted unless you update them on your progress between hangouts.

Jimin changes your group chat name that very night to: Baby Jeon Official Updates Channel 💦🤭👶🏻💕

You and Jungkook leave hand-in-hand, mostly because he has to keep you upright from how tired you are. He drives back to his place since it’s closer and he doesn’t like the idea of leaving you alone when you’re this sleepy. God forbid you accidentally fall asleep on Usagi and crush her all night long. The car ride is brief, but it’s smooth enough that you fall asleep in the passenger seat almost instantly. 

Jungkook carries you inside instead of waking you up, knowing you need more rest nowadays than usual. Although, if he’s being honest, pregnant with his child or not, he’d still carry you and tuck you into bed.

When you wake up in Jungkook’s spare bedroom/home office the next morning, you’re thoroughly confused, but as your sleepiness begins to wane you remember the end of the night and the events which led you here. The smell of pancakes encourages you to walk down the stairs to Jungkook’s kitchen. You’re still wrapped in his comforter when you enter and Jungkook laughs as you approach him like the Queen of bedtime. 

“Morning, Bambi,” he greets you as he flips the final pancake onto the plate and turns off the griddle. 

“Good morning,” you say with a tired smile. 

Just then, the sound of trampling paws comes barreling towards you. Smiling broadly as you turn towards the sound, you bend down to greet the adorable Doberman who’s wagging his tail in excitement at seeing you.

“Bammie!” You cheer as you pet behind his ears. “Oh, I’ve missed you, my good boy.” 

He runs around your legs a couple times before scurrying across the hardwood to bring you a bone to throw. You happily oblige him and watch in amusement as he runs away to fetch it before plopping on the couch to gnaw on the toy.

“Come eat, Bams,” Jungkook tells you as he sets two plates on his dining table. 

Following his orders, you leave the comforter over the back of the couch and sit across from him to eat the eggs, pancakes, and bacon he made for you both. You eat in comfortable silence for a while until you’re both nearly done.

“Koo, I’m sorry about last night. Chaewon guessed it and then her big mouth spilled the beans. I know it wasn’t the way we wanted it to happen, but at least it’s over with, right?” 

“It’s alright,” Jungkook responds before gulping down his orange juice. “I’m glad we finally did it and now everyone knows. Plus, it got me thinking about some stuff I hadn’t really thought about yet.”

“Like what?”

“Well, about what Namjoon hyung said,” he explains. “I mean, he makes a really good point. I want our kid to have a normal family life even if we’re just best friends and not romantic partners.”

“What do you think we should do?”

“I think you should move in with me.”

You choke on your orange juice. 

Truthfully, there isn’t anything shocking about his statement, you just weren’t expecting it at that moment. Jungkook has a three bedroom, two and a half bath house which he owns, while you rent a one bedroom apartment. He’s been begging you ever since he bought the property to move into his spare bedroom. The two of you spend almost all your time together anyway and he doesn’t see the point in you wasting money on rent when his house is completely paid off. 

The reason you haven’t accepted his offer before is because you never want to take advantage of his wealth or be a burden on him. Being best friends is one thing, being roommates is another. 

Now, though, you have a biological right to be a burden on him because he stuck a baby in you. 

“Are you sure?” You ask him.

“Of course I am,” he replies in a heartbeat. “I thought about it all last night and it only makes sense. I have two extra bedrooms, one for you and one for the baby.” 

“But what about your home office and your gym?”

“I can move my gym equipment to the garage and my desk can easily fit in my bedroom.” You sigh and push your fork around your plate as you contemplate his proposal. “Bams, you’re gonna be the mother of my child, will you just let me take care of you for once?”

As soon as you look into his starry eyes, you know there’s no chance you’ll say no. Jungkook obviously wants to do this because he loves you and wants to make sure you and the baby have everything you need, so who are you to say no?

“Okay,” you agree. “When should I move in?”

THREE

The cardboard box in your hands is slowly slipping from your grasp as you ascend the stairs, but you’re determined to make it to the top before readjusting. You have to reach the landing before Jungkook catches you. If he sees you disobeying his instruction of sitting still, he’ll definitely blow a gasket. 

You don’t know what it is with men and thinking pregnant women can’t do anything themselves. It’s still only the first trimester, and sure, your bump has grown some more, but you aren’t completely useless. 

Honestly, if you weren’t so stubborn, you would’ve taken his offer of moving all the boxes into the house by himself, but your competitive nature has you lugging a box of cat toys up the stairs instead. 

“Bambi! What did I fucking say?”

Dropping the box by your feet only three steps from the top, you blow your hair away from your face and place your hands on your hips.

“Fuck you, Jungkook. I do what I want.”

“You wanna look me in the eyes when you say that?” 

“… No.”

“That’s what I thought.” The sound of his combat boots coming up the stairs is all you hear as he moves to steal the box from your feet. Once it’s secure in his arms, he looks at you like a teacher scolding their student and gestures to the couch with his head. “Go sit down.”

“I’m not incapable, you know?” You say with your arms crossed. 

“I know that, Bams,” Jungkook states. “It’s not about that. I lift more than this in a single workout at the gym. Why should you have to do it when I’m perfectly capable?”

He’s right. You know that, he knows that, so you leave him alone on the steps to sit down on the couch with a huff. 

Bam quickly joins you and lays his head in your lap as he watches his dad move back and forth through the house with curious eyes. Scratching behind his ear, you laugh at the way his tail repeatedly whacks the couch as it wags. 

Usagi is still in her carrier in your new bedroom since you want to make sure everything is moved in before introducing her and Bam. You and Jungkook both agree that if they get in a fight, it’s her little munchkin ass who will be the main aggressor, especially since Bam is scared of his own shadow. 

Once Jungkook’s done moving the last of the boxes, he flops aggressively into the armchair next to the couch. He pats his thigh and Bam instantly leaves your side to jump into his lap instead. Jungkook leans down to kiss his precious pup before letting his head fall back as he tries to catch his breath.

“Perfectly capable, huh?” 

“Shut up.”

“You’re getting old, Koo. Soon you’re gonna be a dad and you’ll have a beer gut —”

“Nuh uh, never gonna happen. I’ll have my abs until the day I die,” he corrects you.

“Please, no you will not. You think you’re gonna be hitting the gym at 80?” You ask as you lean forward in your seat.

“Yes. My love comes from my abs, I can’t lose them,” he states.

The couch cushion indents where your head falls against it as you laugh heartily. 

“What? Your love comes from your abs? What the hell does that even mean?” 

“Everyone I meet loves my abs, so now they’re just like, full of love, and that’s where it comes from,” he explains unironically.

“Everyone? I don’t think that’s true,” you say with a smirk.

“No?” Jungkook gently guides Bam away and struts over to you. “You’re gonna look at me and tell me you don’t love my abs? That if I took my shirt off right now you wouldn’t go all googly-eyed?”

“Fuck, no,” you scoff. 

Jungkook clicks his tongue and then lifts his shirt to engulf you under the fabric. You screech and shove at his waist, kicking your legs haphazardly like you’re being suffocated. 

“Let me out of here!” You scream, but it’s severely muffled by the fabric. 

“I’m sorry, what did you say? I can’t hear you,” Jungkook teases. “Ow!”

Jungkook immediately frees you and backs away after he feels your teeth sinking into his side. He rubs over the bite mark with a big pout on his face, as if he didn’t start this little charade. 

You mock his expression for a moment before standing to go up the stairs and check on your furry child. Jungkook follows begrudgingly, letting his feet drag along the floor like a petulant child. When you enter your new bedroom, conveniently right beside Jungkook’s, Usagi starts meowing incessantly and scratching at her carrier. You soothe her with some baby speak and check that the door is closed before letting her out. Her little legs immediately bring her to the floor so she can explore the unfamiliar room. 

She meows every couple of seconds whenever she encounters something new and you watch as she headbutts everything in sight as a way of marking the furniture with her scent. Ironically, this is all the same furniture from your old bedroom just in a different space and formation.

Hands wrap around your waist from behind and you sigh at the feeling of Jungkook’s firm chest meeting your back. Obviously, he’s forgiven you for your little retaliatory love bite. 

“I’m really glad you’re here, Bams,” he tells you from where his head rests on your shoulder. 

Your hand reaches behind you to sneak into his hair and scratch at his scalp affectionately. He hums and rests his cheek against your shoulder. You’d argue he picked up the mannerisms from his dog, but he’s always been touchy like this.  

“I’m happy to be here,” you reply. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Those words no longer apply the following day when you’re hunched over Jungkook’s toilet and spilling your guts into the bowl. 

It’s a great unknown why morning sickness is called that when it happens at all hours of the freaking day. You naively believed you snuck past its clutches since you’re already on the brink of your second trimester, but apparently the wonderful symptom was just waiting until you had Jungkook’s big fancy bathroom to throw up in. 

Groaning in agony, you plop back onto the tile and rest your head on the cabinet. Your throat is burning from all the regurgitation, there are popped blood vessels all over your cheeks and forehead, making you look like you have freckles, and salty tears from the effort of repeatedly emptying your stomach are drying on your skin. 

You caress your baby bump with a glare, making a mental note to scold them at least once when they’re older for putting you through this. 

The sound of the front door opening makes your ears twitch. Bam’s heavy footsteps can be heard barreling towards the door and then Jungkook’s voice joins in as he greets his beloved pet. 

“Bambi?”

“In here,” you say through your sore vocal chords. Jungkook’s face appears in the doorway and you whimper as tears fill your eyes again. “I fucking hate you for doing this to me.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen at your current state and he instantly sinks to his knees to pull you into his arms. He holds your head against his chest as you cry from the pain and fatigue of running back and forth to the bathroom all day. Jungkook’s been out running errands all day so you’ve been all alone until now.

“I’m sorry, Bams,” he whispers into your hair. “Wish it was me instead.”

There’s no opportunity for you to reply because the familiar feeling of bile climbing up your throat forces you out of his embrace and back over the toilet. Jungkook grabs your hair, making sure to collect the shorter pieces that cradle your face, and holds it in a makeshift ponytail as he rubs your back. 

Once you’re done, and after the sound of the toilet flushing disperses, you hear soft cries coming from behind you. Looking over your shoulder, you see Jungkook wiping his eyes with his shirtsleeve. 

“Koo,” you call out to him. 

He hiccups and attempts a brave face, smiling at you even as tears slip from his waterline.

“Sorry, you know I hate seeing you in pain,” he explains. 

You frown and turn around to grab his cheeks, brushing the remaining tears away from them. It’s true you’re already well aware of his empathetic nature and have been for as long as you’ve known him. 

“I know,” you say with a smile as you push his hair away from his face. “Remember that time I got bullied in middle school and was crying on the playground, and then you started crying because I was?” Jungkook laughs, his eyes closing as he remembers the moment. “I’ll never forget what you said.” You clear your throat so you can give an accurate representation of his voice. “I never suffer myself, Bambi, I only suffer when I see you suffering.” 

Jungkook smiles big and laughs again at your adorable imitation of his deep timbre. 

“You know, if we have a boy, I’m gonna have to tussle with him over this,” he says. “No one hurts my Bams, not even my own kid.”

Your responding chuckle is strained due to how sore your body is. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you bring Jungkook closer for a tight hug, your hands curling into the fabric of his shirt. His palm slowly moves up and down your spine in a steady cadence to soothe you until the next wave of nausea comes. 

The remainder of the day is spent in the bathroom together, which is luckily spacious enough for not only you two, but Usagi and Bam who both come to join you at one point.

The nausea comes in waves, sometimes occurring multiple times back to back or alternatively with a large lapse of time between them. It holds you hostage in the bathroom for a few days, and you have to take PTO when the work week begins, but eventually the symptoms simmer to about once every couple days after your doctor prescribes medication. 

Another lovely symptom you’re experiencing as of late is intense cravings for extremely specific food groups, which is why you’re currently in a screaming match with Jungkook over pickles. 

“I’m not buying you pickles, Bambi,” Jungkook sternly states.

“Jungkook, you’re not the one growing a baby inside of you. If I say I want pickles, I should be getting pickles!” You shout, your feet stomping on the ground reactively. 

“You fucking hate pickles!” Jungkook matches your tone.

“Yes, but pregnancy cravings don’t care about what I like or don’t like, and they’re saying they want pickles!”

“You’re not going to eat them, Bams, I know you!”

“Yes, I will!”

“You really want me to leave the house at three in the morning for a vegetable that you despise?” Jungkook scoffs in outrage. “You won’t even eat a sandwich if a pickle was on the plate because you claim you can still taste it!” 

“That doesn’t matter, Koo!”

Jungkook groans and runs his hands down his face before pushing his hair back. 

“I swear to God, Bambi, if I get back here, and you don’t eat that entire fucking jar, I will kick you out of this goddamn house!” 

“No, you won’t, you love me too much,” you brag and stick your tongue out at him.

“Yeah, unfortunately, I do,” Jungkook admits angrily. He grumbles to himself the entire time he’s putting on his slides and slipping on his jacket to drive to the nearest 24 hour convenience store. His hand is on the doorknob when he turns back to say one final comment. “You know what the worst part about this is? Most guys in my position are at least getting some pussy for putting up with this shit, but not me! No reward! I’m doing this out of pure, unconditional love for you!” 

You gawk at his remark, not recognizing the words coming out of his mouth. Jungkook has never in his life asked for anything in return, let alone imply you owe him a sexual favor.

The door slams shut before you can respond, and a cry breaks from your chest as your head falls forward. Bam hears the noise and comes to comfort you, nudging his head up against your leg like the good boy he is, but barely a minute later, his head jerks when he’s distracted by the sound of the door opening. You don’t even get the chance to look up completely before you’re forced into someone’s arms who smells a lot like Jungkook.

“Bams, I’m so fucking sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” Jungkook tells you. 

His apology only makes you cry more, shoving your face into his shirt and soaking it with tears. 

“That was so fucked up, Koo,” you sniffle. 

“I know, I’m so sorry,” he replies. “I didn’t mean it, okay? You don’t owe me anything, Bams, especially not that.” He pulls away from you and lifts your face by your chin. “Please don’t think that I, even for a second, ever expect you to repay me for taking care of you. I do it because I love you and that’s the only reward I need.” 

Wiping your tears with your shirtsleeve, you slap his chest a couple times for good measure. He chuckles because of how lightly you smack him.

“You’re forgiven,” you grumble. “Now, can you please go get me these fuckass pickles?”

Jungkook smiles and nods his head, his hand on your chin moving to caress your hair for a moment. 

“I’ll buy you pickles everyday for the rest of your life if that’s what you want, Bambi,” he states. 

“It isn’t. I fucking hate pickles,” you say with a smile. 

Jungkook rolls his eyes and presses a kiss to your hair before waving goodbye and heading to the store. When he returns twenty minutes later, he’s carrying a couple bags of miscellaneous groceries as well as a jar of pickles. 

You wait patiently for him to place the bags in the kitchen before he hands the open jar to you. The smell alone eases the craving that’s been eating away at your stomach for hours now. Grabbing one of the skewers, you pull it out of the juice and take a small bite off the end. 

Instantly, your brain screams at you in disgust, and you open your mouth again to spit the piece into your hand. Realizing you now have to face Jungkook so he can say I told you so, your eyes screw shut and you turn towards him. Except, when you open your eyes, he isn’t beside you anymore, he’s walking back from the kitchen with your favorite flavor of chips in hand.

“Got these just in case,” he tells you as he swaps out the jar in your hand for the bag. 

You grimace, guilt pooling in your stomach when you realize his trip out into the night was for nought. 

“Koo…”

“It’s alright, Bambi. The fact that I was right makes this all worth it,” he says with a sly grin. 

The chips taste like salty pieces of heaven and you eat the entire bag that night. You keep the jar of pickles for occasional sniffing because, for whatever reason, your brain loves the smell even though it hates the taste. This pregnancy is already messing with your brain chemistry more than you care to admit and it’s only the beginning. 

As the weeks go on, your pregnancy continues to mess with you in the form of a different, but equally as strong, craving. 

It initially hits you while you’re putting together Usagi’s new cat tower in the living room. Thankfully, she and Bam get along just fine. In fact, she’s currently lying on him while they nap together on the other side of the room. 

The instructions for this contraption are annoyingly hard to understand and you’re holding the instructional pamphlet up in the air as you attempt to make out what size screw you need in the stupidly small font it’s written in. 

The sound of the door opening catches your attention. As you lower the paper to see the familiar figure entering the room, your mouth suddenly dries up. 

Jungkook’s coming back from his home gym which is now in the garage and the tips of his hair are drenched in sweat. His chest is rising and falling in deep pants from the intensity of his workout and the black shirt he’s wearing sticks to his chest, perfectly outlining his pecs. Then, much to your agony, he takes the bottom of his shirt and wipes it across his forehead, giving you a perfect view of his abs. 

The feeling that shoots straight into your core is absolutely foreign. Sure, you know Jungkook is hot, that’s a fact of the universe no one is trying to deny. But you’ve seen him shirtless before, hell, you’ve seen him entirely naked. The bump protruding from your womb tells you that much, and yet you’ve never felt turned on by him doing something so mundane.

It makes you question why your body, and more particularly your pussy, is suddenly insatiable and the sight of him is making drool drip from your mouth where it’s fallen open in awe of his physique. 

Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice your change in demeanor as he waves hello before heading upstairs to shower. Once he’s gone, your body releases its tension and you sigh in relief. Although, the feeling doesn’t entirely go away, and you end up spending the rest of the evening uncomfortably horny. 

That very night you take matters into your own hands, literally. You haven’t masturbated since getting pregnant, not for any particular reason other than just not feeling the urge, but now the urge has you in a chokehold and you need to fix it. 

Closing your eyes and slinking comfortably into your sheets, you pull your shorts and panties off in one go before trailing your hand down to your core. You’re still wet from earlier, no doubt because you saw Jungkook in all his post workout glory. The image of him wiping the sweat from his brow with his shirt is still on your mind when your fingers dip between your folds. 

A quiet moan escapes as you move your leaking essence around with your fingertips. It’s been more than three months since you’ve felt any sort of sexual pleasure, the night you spent with Jungkook being the last time. 

Your eyes roll as you play with yourself by switching between pushing your fingers into your cunt and circling your clit. The squelching sound helps to turn you on, but the entire time all you can think is that it isn’t enough. It barely scratches the surface of your sexual need and is a sorry excuse for pleasure after what you Jungkook made you feel. 

Huffing in frustration, you shut your eyes again and try to forget about the world around you, but it’s only when you think back to earlier today that your pleasure spikes and you moan again. 

Realizing what the trick is, you begrudgingly let your imagination, or more so your memory, run rampant. You think back to that night and the way Jungkook’s lips felt against yours, and the way his cock penetrated you so deep you were seeing stars. The memory of his deep voice in your ear makes you moan exuberantly. Your hand falls into a quick rhythm as all the memories come flooding back. Everything about that night sends you closer to the edge of ecstasy. His weight above you, the heat of his skin, his taste, his moans and grunts, the way he fills you up. All of it forces you to bite down on your fist and cry when your orgasm overwhelms you.

The aftershocks of your pleasure have you panting as you come down from the high. You feel immense relief now that your desire is satiated after a long day of feeling your thighs twitch. Pulling your hand away, you stand to wash your hands so you can finally get some rest. 

Hopefully, this symptom will eventually disappear like the others and you won’t be riddled with sexual cravings through the entirety of your pregnancy. 

The next morning you’re pouring yourself a cup of tea to drink before heading to work. Jungkook comes skipping down the stairs in his business casual attire, his sleeves partially rolled up to reveal his tattoos. You wave to him and push the cup of coffee you poured for him across the counter.

“Thanks, Bams,” he says with a squeeze to your arm. 

This is the normal, everyday occurrence for you now, and it’s nice having a routine that works for you both. You didn’t realize how easy living together would be and you’re glad it’s finally happening. Besides the times your pregnancy has turned into a sick, desperate, crazy person, it’s been business as usual for you two even with the adjustment of being roommates. 

“You gonna be home for dinner?” You ask him as he takes a sip of the drink. His brow creases and he looks adorably angry, letting you know you made it just right. 

“Yeah, the deadline for the newest patch was last week so I shouldn’t be staying late,” he answers. 

“I’m making your favorite, your mom sent me the recipe last week,” you tell him.

“No shit,” he says, eyebrows disappearing behind his bangs. You nod in confirmation and he enthusiastically claps his hands. There’s a brief lull in the conversation, but then Jungkook seemingly remembers something and grabs your attention. “Actually, there's something I was gonna talk to you about.”

“What’s up?” Leaning over the counter, you take a sip and wait for him to speak.

“Well, I may or may not have heard you last night and —”

The sound of you choking and spitting out your tea interrupts him. 

“Excuse me?”

“I heard you, ya know, having a little fun all by your lonesome last night.” You stare at him incredulously across the island. “Surprise, surprise, the wall between our rooms isn’t that thick.” 

“Koo, why are you bringing this up?” You ask. “I mean, thanks for letting me know, I guess?”

“No, no,” he chuckles. “I’m not saying it to embarrass you or anything, Bambi.” He mirrors your stance so your faces are only a few inches apart. “I was just going to offer my services in case you need something more than your own hand.”

“Huh?”

“It’s just, I mean, I’m only a room away, and I know your hormones are probably going awol and making you needy and shit. So, if you ever want to, the option is there.”

“Koo, that’s very sweet of you, but I’m not gonna use you like that.”

“Oh, yeah, because having sex with you is such a chore. Worst night of my fucking life!” You laugh and slap his arm playfully. He stands to his full height with a wink. “Just think about it, alright?”

You do think about it. Unfortunately, it’s all you can think about. It already freaked you out enough when you couldn’t get yourself off without thinking of him, and now your body is mentally somersaulting in celebration because of his offer. 

It’s definitely not romantic feelings swirling inside you, because just as you told your friends, you don’t feel butterflies with Jungkook, but it’d be both impractical and impossible to deny you have sexual feelings for him. Whether it’s from pregnancy hormones or something else entirely, you clearly want him something awful. Greed they talked about in the bible type shit. 

The only thing you don’t want is for him to fuck you because he’s trying to help you out. If you’re going to hook up again, you want him to want you in the same way. 

Despite the mental turmoil it initially puts you through, time goes on without either of you bringing up his little offer. Your body still messes with you by making you horny at all hours of the day, but you usually just satisfy yourself before bed and all is good. 

Tonight is different. No matter how hard you try you can’t bring yourself to come. Your fingers are pruny from how long you’ve been playing with yourself, but nothing is working. It’s nearly two in the morning, and although it’s a weekend, you still want some sleep. 

Grunting and kicking your blankets away, you cross your arms over your chest and pout in the darkness of your room. The quiet atmosphere of the house is helpful for lulling you to sleep, but your thighs are twitching with need and you know you’ll be restless if you don’t fix it before going to bed. You sigh and sit on the edge of your bed, chewing your lip as you debate if you’re really about to do what you’re thinking of doing. Before you can overthink it any further, you stand up and throw your door open. 

Usagi makes a noise of confusion from her bed in the corner of your room, so you whisper to her you’ll be right back and shut the door. 

It takes you a minimum of five minutes to gather the courage to knock on Jungkook’s door. He was working late tonight on a new project and went to bed early to catch up on his sleep. Guilt pools in your stomach at the thought of waking him up for such a selfish reason, but you know he’ll scold you if he finds out you needed him without telling him as such.

The sound of your hand against the wood feels extra loud in the stark silence of the house, and it only takes a couple seconds for Jungkook to softly call for you from inside the room. 

You twist the door knob and peek your head inside. Jungkook only has one eye open, and he’s fluffing his messy hair in confusion when you enter his room. 

“Bambi? Is everything okay?” He asks sleepily. 

“Mmhmm,” you say as you chew on your lip. “I, um…”

The embarrassment stirring within you is almost enough to bring your morning sickness back with a vengeance. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I… need you,” you whisper. 

Jungkook sits up, his other eye finally opening, although they’re still half-lidded with sleep. 

“Need me how, Bams? Are you alright?”

“Like… sexually,” you finally answer.

His eyes open a little wider at your response, but soon enough his expression softens and he smiles warmly. 

“C’mere,” he whispers, his hand gesturing for you to join him. 

You tentatively place one foot in front of the other until you reach the edge of his mattress and climb in. He holds his hand out for you and once you’re close enough he grabs your waist to help you straddle his thighs. 

As soon as you feel him beneath you and his chest against your own, the tension in your body disintegrates and the relief sends your forehead to his shoulder. Jungkook reacts instinctively, one hand scratching your scalp while the other rubs your back, and you whimper from comforting sensations.

“Tell me what you need, babygirl.”

“I don’t know. Nothing’s working and I… I just need relief,” you explain. 

“Okay, do you want my hands or my mouth?” 

You shake your head.

“You, Koo. Want you.”

Jungkook hums and combs his fingers through your hair, the hand on your back rising to cradle your face instead.

“You’ve got me, Bambi. I’ll give you anything you want.” You feel him mouthing at your jaw and breathe a sigh of relief. “Every part of me,” he whispers ardently.

After a prolonged moment of gentle neck kisses, Jungkook takes your hips in his hands to lift you and pull your bottoms down before moving his own pants out of the way. You hear the sound of him pumping his cock to get himself hard, but you’re too busy returning his favor by caressing his neck with your lips to see the motion yourself. The firm touch of his hand on your lower back guides you into the right position atop his lap. You sink down slowly, with Jungkook holding you steady as he fills you inch by delicious inch. The wetness from your earlier attempts at self pleasure allows him to slide into you with ease. 

You moan unabashedly at the feeling of his thick cock inside you again, it’s warm and throbbing within your walls and you kiss the bare skin of his shoulder appreciatively. He feels like pure heaven and it’s worrisome how desperately you wish you could stay like this forever. 

“Koo, you feel so good,” you moan into his ear.

While you begin kissing his neck again, Jungkook starts bouncing you up and down on his cock via his hold on your hips. The euphoric feeling the action creates must be mutual, because a pair of vibrant moans and the clapping of your skin is the only sound in the room. His noises are deeper than normal since he’s still fresh from slumber and the low tone makes your head spin. 

When you eventually take over and pick up the pace, one of his hands leaves your hip to thread into your hair. 

“Missed this, Bams,” he tells you sincerely. “You feel fucking perfect around me.”

Jungkook brings your face close so he can kiss you. He’s gentle with his affection, lips moving at a snail’s pace to savor the feeling of kissing you once again. Tracing your bottom lip with his tongue, you moan gratefully when he pushes it past the border of your lips to meet yours. Your arms encircle his neck as you shamelessly make out, pulling him impossibly close so his bare chest is pressing on you. 

“So tight, Bams, feels fucking amazing.”

“Mm, it’s just for you. Pussy’s all yours, Koo.”

Jungkook groans aggressively and kisses you with a new wave of passion. His fingers dig into your scalp reactively and you whine, your thighs working overtime to fuck his cock into you again and again. The dual sensation of his kiss and his dick splitting you apart rattles your brain until all you can focus on are your movements. 

When he notices your pace stuttering from your impending climax, he steals control again, wrapping both arms around your waist to steady you while he thrusts into you from below. You gasp and bite into the skin of his shoulder as he fucks you with everything he has. 

It’s no surprise your orgasm approaches faster than usual, since you were already worked up from your previous ministrations. You welcome the familiar feeling of your abdomen and thighs tightening as Jungkook continues pistoning into you, kissing him again when you feel yourself tipping over the precipice. Running your fingers through his hair and tugging on the black strands, you pull a grunt from his lips that only serves to further your pursuit. 

“M’close,” you breathe into his mouth. 

“Come for me, Bams,” he replies without missing a beat.

The tip of his cock only meets your g-spot a couple more times before you come with a throaty moan, your head tipping back as Jungkook continues to fuck you through your high. His hips slow to a stop as your body relaxes and breathing levels out, so you question him with a glance. 

“What are you doing?”

“You came, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but you didn’t.”

“I’m not the one with pregnancy hormones,” he chuckles.

Your hands move from his hair to caress his jaw.

“It doesn’t matter,” you tell him. “This is a two way street, Koo. You’re not a sex toy, I didn’t come in here just for me.”

Jungkook smiles sweet as pie and kisses the tip of your nose. 

“I know, Bambi,” he says. “But honestly, I think we should both get some sleep. Why don’t you stay in here with me and we can pick this up again in the morning?”

You frown, but begrudgingly agree when you notice how tired Jungkook looks. 

After pulling out, Jungkook readjusts your bottoms back to your hips before tucking himself into his pants. He cuddles into his sheets with one arm resting against the pillow next to him. Gesturing with his head towards his outstretched limb, you happily take the hint and lay your head on his tatted bicep. 

Cuddling with Jungkook is foreign, but the man himself is so familiar that it’s not awkward despite it being the first time. Jungkook wraps his other arm around your waist to bring you into his chest, and it’s shocking just how wonderful it feels to be entirely encapsulated by him. You hum appreciatively as comfort seeps into your very bones and makes a home in your nervous system. Without thinking, you start tracing over his collarbones with your fingertips and he kisses your cheek and temple. 

You both fall asleep with ease, your quiet breaths tangling together in the limited space between your faces. 

When you wake up, Jungkook is behind you, but his arm is still draped across your waist and your head remains comfortably on his bicep. You smile without realizing and cuddle deeper into his embrace, lacing your fingers with the ones resting on your stomach. 

Your view upon looking down is just your intertwined hands above your small baby bump and your smile grows exponentially, your heart squeezing in your chest at the sight of all three of you together this way. 

The sentimental moment is brief, because soon enough you recognize the feeling of Jungkook’s dick pressing against your ass and desire begins banging on your door and demanding you let it in. As any good human in your position should, you nonchalantly wiggle your ass and snicker to yourself when you feel his cock stiffening. The sound of Jungkook languidly groaning behind you lights a fire inside your stomach that blazes down to your thighs. 

His hand squeezes yours and you feel him nuzzling his face into your neck.

“Morning,” he murmurs in your ear.

“Morning wood, more like it,” you reply.

Jungkook chuckles warmly in your ear and it spreads goosebumps across your skin like wildfire. He releases your hand to grab your hip instead, pulling you into him so you can feel exactly how hard he is. Your exhale becomes a moan when he ruts against your ass and his hand leaves your hip to reach your folds. 

The second his fingers slip beneath your panties and touch your warm cunt, your mind goes to static.

“Shit, Bams, you’re fucking soaked,” he notes.

“I’ve been wet for the past two weeks straight,” you admit.

“You should’ve told me,” Jungkook says as he licks and nibbles on your earlobe. “Would’ve taken care of you.”

You whine when he starts sucking on your neck just as two of his fingers sink into your cunt. 

“Yeah,” you moan. “I’m understanding how grave a mistake that was now.” 

He laughs again before returning to his previous endeavor of kissing and licking your throat. His fingers move in and out of you lackadaisically, slowly stretching your hole open as he curls the digits against your front wall to reach that perfect spongy spot. You find yourself gripping his forearm to keep yourself steady as the pleasure threatens to pull you under its waves. 

Once Jungkook deems you wet enough, he removes his fingers from your pussy and brings them to your mouth for you to lick clean. As you work your tongue around and between his two middle fingers you hear the rustling of pants behind you. Even though the last time was mere hours ago, your heart is already racing at the thought of him stuffing you full again. 

Jungkook runs his dick through your folds and presses the tip against your leaking hole, making your essence coat his head with a pretty sheen. You moan reactively, your head meeting his shoulder while his cock stretches your velvet walls. 

The fingers previously between your lips dig into the flesh of your waist as he starts rocking into you from behind. He’s doing all the work, simultaneously pulling your hips back while he thrusts into your cunt mercilessly. You’re thankful for his diligence, because your mind is going haywire from the feeling of him throbbing inside you and the veins of his cock rubbing along your walls. It’d be impossible for you to assist him with anything in this state. 

He’s still worshipping your neck with his mouth while fucking you like an animal and the contradicting feeling forces your eyes into your skull.

“You’re so fucking tight, Bams. So wet… you’re making me fucking crazy.” His warm breath on your neck makes you keen. 

“More, Koo, I need more of you,” you reply.

Jungkook hears you loud and clear. He holds your waist with both arms to keep you snug against him so he can thrust into you with more force, his pace speeding up in conjecture with the extra effort. 

“Oh, fuck,” you gasp. “Jungkook.”

“Yeah? This what you wanted?”

“Fuck, yes, you’re so fucking big, Koo,” you whine.

He relentlessly fucks into your cunt, rolling his hips against your ass and sending his cock straight to your g-spot. Your nails make crescent moons on his arm where you’re still holding on for dear life. The other hand stretches before you to clutch the sheets like a vice for fear you’ll lose your mind if you don’t have something in your grasp. 

The melody of your moans and his grunts are downright pornagraphic and serves as filthy music to your ears. There’s nothing you want more than for him to continue fucking you, and if you could keep him buried in your cunt for all eternity, you would gladly do so. 

“You close?” He asks as he bites your ear. 

“Yes.”

“Good, gonna make a mess of you, Bambi.”

The erotic combination of words, tickling breaths, his firm chest behind you, and the massive cock spreading your pussy apart have you going institutionally insane. Somehow, he manages to gain more speed as your orgasms near and the imminent release makes you scream. It’s barely a second later that you’re coming with a pathetic cry of his name. He follows immediately, his cum marking your walls as his own while he repeatedly fucks his seed into you. 

His hips never cease their movement even once your highs wane, he just continues rolling into your cunt while his cock softens inside of you. You whimper from the oversensitivity, but even the uncomfortable pressure doesn’t make you stop him. The feeling of having him within you is too addicting to let it end just yet. 

Eventually, he stops lazily fucking you, but even then he still doesn’t pull out. You hold the position until sleep brings you both back into its embrace, Jungkook’s arms securely around you while the dripping mixture of your essences pools on the bed below.

Taglist: @lovingkoalaface @starcandybby @junniesoleilkth @keylime4eva @kissyfacekoo @rpwprpwprpwprw @spideyjimin @jjeonjjk7 @joonlover1207 @annpeachy @rexana19 @heartwith0uthe @kosmos1307 @minyoongi7016 @magicalnachocreator @misschelliejeon @bubblyi3 @bhonbhon @polnaraffsrack @amarawayne @majesticjung-97 @kmpj9 @upo1313 @songbyeonkim @kikikaaa @glowjuli @avawants2havefun @hyeinwluv85s @someonegoood @kyljjk

The Second Trimester coming on 6/27/25 at 7:00 pm EST

[astrolook]

🌀6th Lord in Houses - Enemies, Health, Daily Life, and Inner Battles 🌀

Note: These are all my personal observations and patterns I've noticed over the years. Take what resonates with you more and leave the rest. Lemme know in the comments if it hits home!

There are general interpretations. The signs on the house can make things different. Look at your Vedic chart!

6th lord in 1st - You're used to being underestimated and so you overperform. Your daily life is in survival mode by default. You're always fixing things, not just your own, but others' messes too. You care too much, even for people who don’t deserve it. Can have a "resting face". Might run on caffeine. Migraines, weak immunity, nail biting, or neck pain can be seen here. Your worst enemy is...yourself.

6th lord in 2nd - Feeling of never having enough. Attract "users", not partners. Either a stingy or a spendthrift. No in-between. Throat surgery, in some cases. You pretend you don’t care about status, but lowkey feel like a failure when you’re not “ahead.” Jaw tension. Messy relationship with food. People either depend on you too much or disappear when you need support. Stays loyal to family members even though they're not good for you and just sucks it up. You give advice to people but might not follow it yourself. Dental issues, blood sugar irregularities, PCOS, metabolic disorders, food allergies, binge eating, or anorexia can be seen here in some cases. Your worst enemy is comfort that becomes a cage.

6th lord in 3rd - You’ve had full-blown arguments in your head that never happened IRL. Enemies = frenemies. Especially the ones who “joke” too much. Arguments with your sibling, if you had one. Dehydration. Nervous disorders, in some cases. Might keep a journal or vent everything into a Notes app or to any unfortunate soul that happened to be there at the time. You might try to do 5 things at once and feel ashamed of not finishing any. People can gaslight you. You want to be heard but hate attention, like explain that lol. You might dream of moving away from your hometown, starting afresh, or ghosting your friendship(s) forever. ADHD, hand/wrist pain, insomnia, neck/shoulder pain from poor posture, or breathing issues can be seen here in some cases. Your worst enemy is the loud voice that sounds like yours but isn’t.

6th lord in 4th - You grew up learning to stay quiet. Might even walk quietly. You might have had strict or helicopter parents, in some cases. Home isn't a safe place. You crave comfort but don’t know what it really feels like. Might say "sorry" a lot. Love feels like walking on eggshells, because that’s what it’s always been. You try to fix your family by being the “good one,” even when it’s killing you. You second-guess your feelings because they were dismissed growing up. Ulcers, gastritis, acid reflux, menstrual cramps, belly, asthma, and hormonal imbalances can be seen here in some cases. Your worst enemy is emotional guilt disguised as family loyalty.

6th lord in 5th - You give your heart to people who treat you like a "score". Fun feels like something you have to “earn.” When you are happy, you just know that it's gonna be taken away from you soon, or you know that it's temporary. You lowkey want someone to fight for you, not with you. You learned early that attention had conditions. Be impressive, be useful, be entertaining, or be invisible. You fall in love with people who feel broken, because fixing them feels safer than being truly seen. Irregular periods, fertility concerns, hormonal swings, risk of heart palpitations or minor arrhythmias, bloating, or digestive issues can be seen here in some cases. Your worst enemy is drama you confuse for passion.

6th lord in 6th - You don't avoid problems, you solve them in silence. You’re the person everyone depends on, but no one checks in with. OCD in some cases. You attract situations that test your patience, boundaries, and sanity daily. You hate asking people for help. You attract jealous coworkers, messy “friends,” and one-sided relationships. You might feel responsible for everything, even things that aren’t yours to carry. Long-term health conditions, autoimmune disorders, inflammatory disorders, constipation, lower back pain or knee pain can be seen here in some cases. Your worst enemy is... the belief that struggle equals virtue.

6th lord in 7th - You are loyal to the wrong people or stay too long with the wrong partner. You attract partners with baggage, and they leave you carrying it. You're afraid that if you set boundaries, they'll leave. Your depression, anxiety, and health issues would skyrocket when you're in a bad relationship. Your BODY KNOWS! You might fix others' lives while yours fall apart. Enemies to lovers, and after the breakup, it's lovers to enemies. If things are calm, you assume something’s off. You sometimes end up in legal conflicts, debt, or moral dilemmas because of a partner's decisions. Skin issues like eczema, rashes, acne or UTI, yeast infections, food poisoning, nausea, blood pressure swings during fights, clinical depression after a breakup or a divorce from their loved one can be seen here in some cases. Your worst enemy is... the person you love/trust the most.

6th lord in 8th - You’ve survived things you don’t talk about, and most people wouldn’t understand anyway. For example: emotional or sexual abuse, dangerous situations, a rare disease, or a complex surgery, etc. Your enemies don’t announce themselves, they hide in family, in lovers, in you. You're the black sheep, the scapegoat, or the cycle-breaker in your family. You learn through loss. Each time something is ripped from you, a new version of you is born. You’ve experienced spiritual or psychic awakenings that were triggered by crisis, not choice. Sex can terrify you, in some cases. Might completely refrain from doing so. PCOS, endometriosis, hormonal dysfunction, bowel issues, sleep issues, nightmares, sleep paralysis, pelvic pain, STDs can be seen here in some cases. Your worst enemy is silence that hides the truth.

6th lord in 9th - You didn’t just lose faith. It got torn from your hands by people you trusted. Your mentors, gurus, or teachers might have disappointed you or could have been harsh, and it cut deeper than betrayal. You’ve questioned your entire worldview after one painful experience. You want to believe in justice, karma, truth…but the reality you’ve lived makes that hard. Travel may bring conflict regarding visa issues or financial setbacks. You might have been punished for asking too many questions. Racism, in some cases. Enemies can come in the form of know-it-alls, fake spiritual leaders, or moral superiority complexes. Liver/kidney issues, vitamin/ protein deficiency, nervous disorders, leg accidents/surgery, can be seen here in some cases. Your worst enemy is blind faith in broken systems.

6th lord in 10th - Bosses either love your work ethic or exploit it. Usually both. You attract jealous coworkers, fake allies, and silent competition. Career setbacks feel personal. You hold everything together until one tiny thing breaks you. You're scared to be seen struggling, so you smile harder. You've had to work twice as hard to earn half the recognition. Can develop an "impostor syndrome" in some cases. Sleep deprivation, dark under eyes, headaches/ migraines, upper body weakness, high blood pressure can be seen here in some cases. Your worst enemy is your boss/co-worker.

6th lord in 11th - You’ve felt loneliest while surrounded by people. You're everyone's emergency contact, but no one’s first thought when they’re celebrating. Your biggest haters sometimes came disguised as your biggest fans or supporters. You carry guilt for outgrowing people who aren’t growing with you. Collaborations often turn into one-sided labor for you. Allergies, autoimmune disorders, rare syndromes, weak eyesight, mental health issues can be seen here in some cases. Can attract clout-chasers, energy vampires disguised as friends in your circle. Your worst enemy is the friend who envies you but smiles anyway.

6th lord in 12th - You’re always tired, but you don’t even know why anymore. You wake up drained, go to sleep anxious, and live in a body that feels like it’s carrying something ancient. Your enemies don’t announce themselves, but they whisper, sabotage, and fade out. Sleep issues. You carry shame from things you didn’t choose, didn’t cause, but still feel responsible for. You escape when it gets too much through fantasy, oversleeping, alcohol/drugs, doomscrolling, or even disappearing from your own life. I mean, you’re so used to emotional isolation that real connection feels foreign. Hates loud noises and crowds. Can have psychic dreams that show you the truth about people who hide things from you. Sleep paralysis or nightmares, mysterious illness, poor gut health, hypersensitivity to medication, noise, light or psychological issues can be seen here in some cases. Your worst enemy is... the pain you won’t/can't name.

💌For readings, check out my pinned post for pricing! ✨💌🪐

[stellewriites]

every minute, every hour, every day

trans!butch!simon x reader, pure fluff & comfort

part of @fairyboygenius’ sapphic week prompts! was very excited to take part in this :3

chosen prompt: june 20th u-haul & butchify a cod character

it felt like the world was against you moving in with si.

you could only take so many coincidences before you started seeing a pattern and that morning, there had been enough to count on both hands.

the truck had been a nightmare to organise in the first place when the company fucked up your booking date last minute and refused to give you a truck in the morning until si threatened to come down there and give them a piece of her mind.

after heavily censoring a message from si to the desk clerk, you were able to get a truck, just a good hour and a half later than planned. it was also clearly an older model, not that you or si would care, but you sniffed at how much it’d be costing you.

you’d then trapped your hand under the heavy sofa when you’d tried to help si lift it onto the u-haul truck, yelping in pain until she was able to ease it off again and you could slip it close to your chest protectively with a wince. she’d checked it over and wrapped it as soon as you were back upstairs in your flat with the first aid kit, but the ache stayed for the rest of the day.

after hoping that would be the end of your bad luck, si had tried carrying your record player you’d found at a garage sale along with two heavy boxes down the stairs to save time after your injury had you flagging. and despite your several warnings to go careful and offerings to still help, she promised she was capable so you left her be. those promises turned stale in her mouth when she tripped on the last step of the stairs and your record player went flying out of the wedged-open front door, smashing on the pavement.

you’d found her a few minutes later knelt and picking up the pieces with wide, worried eyes and you could only sigh, forcefully slow, through your nose.

when you finally had everything packed up and the keys returned to your now ex-landlord, you both got into the car with giddy smiles only to find that the a/c wasn’t working anymore.

you flicked at the buttons and temperature gauge until si shooed your hands away to do the same. you could’ve sworn it had worked on the drive over from the depot.

with no other option, the pair of you shrugged and set off with the windows wound all the way down instead.

no a/c wouldn’t be an issue on your average british day, even in the summer, but there had been an unexpected heatwave over the last week - fuck you climate change - and the pair of you were sweating buckets only ten minutes into the journey.

yeah, it really felt like everything was against you and the move.

not five minutes later, si pulled over into a sainsbury’s car park and hauled herself out with a huff, leaving you sat in the greenhouse of a front cab without a word. you frowned and waited her out, messing around with the music on your phone until you found a summer playlist from seven or so years back. there were a few old favourites you’d forgotten about and you tapped your foot along to them.

suddenly something cold landed on your legs and you sucked in a sharp breath as you picked it up reflexively.

a calippo…

your favourite ice lolly and just what you needed right then.

you grinned across at si and leant in for a chaste kiss, tasting the sweat from her upper lip despite the caution.

“thank you.”

she shrugged and stuck her unwrapped twister in her mouth before turning the engine back on and setting off back on the road.

you cut your eyes across to your girlfriend when you heard her humming along to a song and bit your lip to keep your smile from becoming too obvious. you knew this game.

if you waited her out without paying too much attention, she’d be singing at the top of her lungs in no time, but if you made a fuss too soon then she’d recede into her shell.

you started to sing along lightly, skipping a few lines here and there when you didn’t know them and to make sure si was getting louder alongside you.

you grinned and reached over to squeeze her thigh when your patience paid off and she started to sing off key with confidence, her voice harmonising in a cackle with yours as she drove along, your voices drowning out the music even as you sang the wrong lyrics.

the pair of you laughed when the song came to an end and at the first sign of a red light, she was leaning over to taste your orange ice lolly on your tongue.

the drive went a lot quicker after that. and unpacking went a lot smoother once you got to your new house, even with you insisting you could still help with your injured hand.

si made sure to stop what she was doing and kiss your knuckles gently every time she saw your face twist in pain when you put down another box in the living room.

you cooed and pouted until she’d lean in and kiss your lips too, snuggling into her chest when she went to kiss your crown as a third and final signature of love as you worked to put together your new home.

you watched her longingly in the evening when she tried to find the plates and cutlery in the incorrectly labelled boxes after you ordered takeaway for dinner. you knew then and there that you’d be spending the rest of your life with her if you had any say, no matter how many obstacles tried to get in your way.

“think we’ll have to use our ‘ands,” she hummed, defeated. her hands were on his hips as she looked over the boxes she was sure she’d packed them away in yesterday. a stray thought came to mind that if those had gone missing then god knows where her oestrogel was packed away among all of this; she’d need to find that again by morning.

you squeezed her around her waist tightly and smiled goofily into her sweaty shoulder.

at the press of teeth she peeked over her shoulder at you. “y’better not bite me.”

“no promises,” you whispered cheekily, but you only kissed her shoulder sweetly and sighed. “i love you so much.”

[bluewxrld07]

Stained Glass (Pt. 3)

Lando Norris X Artist!Reader

Summary: It's been a couple of weeks since Y/N's gala night, and the night she left Lando standing there alone in the middle of the gallery. After some serious thought and being separated from one another, Y/N was dragged out to the Spanish GP by her friends. A lot can happen in one weekend, just as quick as the tension rises.

Warning(s): she is an angsty one, yelling, drinks being thrown, jealousy

Y/N groans as she hears someone banging on her apartment door for fifth time that morning.

It was way too early for her to want to answer, and the sun had not even risen yet. This was driving her absolutely insane. The banging on the door stopped, and it was finally quieter and longer than it usually had been in between knocks. Her thought was that whoever was at her door had finally given up.

Until they began banging on her door fast and loud, not letting up with the fast repetitive knocks.

"Oh my fucking-"

She groans as she rips her covers off of herself, stomping and huffing the entire way to her door as she yelled out 'fucks sake I'm coming'. The person still didn't stop knocking, and not until she unlocked the door to whip it open with a glare on her face.

"You better have the greatest reason ever to be trying to put a hole through my door with your fucking knocking," she snaps, the person walking in as she shut the door behind them and crossing her arms.

"Pack your bags!" Max says, holding a finger up as he scurries into her bedroom.

"What? Why? Max it's fucking-"

She turns to the clock on her wall, a slight curse leaving her lips as she proceeds to follow the man. "Maxwell it is 2:30 in the damn morning!! I am not going anywhere, what are you doing?" she exasperates, watching as he sets one of her duffels onto her bed.

"We," he starts while putting his hands on his hips, and turning to her. "Are going to Barcelona. Flight leaves in two hours, we have a half an hour to pack."

She squitns at him.

"Why're we going to Barcelona?" she asks slowly, arms crossed while inching closer to him. Knowing the look he was trying to hide was saying something.

Then it clicks, Max watching the gears work in her head. Her eyes went from a glare, to confusion, to absolute saucers of shock.

"Max no," she shook her head. "I'm not going."

He groans. "Y/N!" he whines, putting his hands together to beg her. She glares at him while shaking her head. "Come on, please? I already told Alex and Charles you're going!"

"That sounds like a you issue then. I never said yes."

He rolls his eyes as he lets out a huff. "We miss you, we all do."

She sighs, uncrossing her arms. "I miss you all too, but it's not my world as much anymore. I've been working nonstop to really even focus on anything else."

"So your boss saying you had the last race playing while you were working in the studio was a lie then?"

Her face pales as she stays silent. He gives her a smug look, knowing he just caught her.

"I'm still not going."

"Y/N!"

"Max, no."

"P is coming, you'd have her and Alex. You know they wouldn't let anything bad happen."

"Max."

"Come on, if anything, you need the break from working. You're in that studio all day every day," he says, making her brows furrow. "Even your boss says you need a breather."

Her mouth drops. "You spoke to my-"

"Yes, yes, I did. As a concerned best friend, I absolutely did," he says while nodding. "She also said she's giving you the week off. And that she even thinks you should go."

"Max Fewtrell!"

He guards his face in case she is ready to smack him, but then puts his hands up in surrender. "Just," he sighs. "Please come. I think it'd be good for you. Maybe even inspire some upcoming pieces."

She stays silent for a second, taking in his idea of that.

"He doesn't even know you're coming, if that has anything to do with your decision-"

"It doesn't."

"So then come with! We need our best girl with our group."

Y/N looks at him with a knowing look, letting out a defeated sigh as her arms go to her hips. "Fine. Give me like fifteen minutes to pack up some stuff."

He lets out a little hoot with a nod, squeezing her shoulders. "I promise you won't regret it!"

She walks over to her dresser to start picking out things to pack.

"I'm so going to regret this."

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Y/N took a deep breath as she walked over to the mirror, straightening out the dress she wore. Making sure it didn't look like it was too much, her hair was slicked back into a ponytail that accented her facial features.

"Stop stressing," Alex's voice peers in behind her, Y/N looking back at her in the mirror. Alex was giving her a sad smile. "You always look gorgeous, mon ami."

Y/N gives her a small grin, nodding at her words as she inhales a deep breath.

"How're you feeling?" she asks, but gives her a knowing look. "Really feeling?"

Y/N lets out a dry laugh. "I really didn't want to come."

Alex nods slowly in understanding. Y/N shrugs. "I hate to say it, though, Max was right. I have missed you all. So I'm not really all that upset about coming," she admits, watching her friend's face light up slightly.

"I'm glad you decided to come," she assures. "I know it's hard, but you deserve a bit of a vacation, too. Don't let Lando be the reason you can't come see or support your friends."

Y/N just shakes her head. "I just can't believe him. He just has to make my event turn into something about him. Buying one of my pieces? Really?"

Alex nods knowingly before walking up to her. "Let's not stress about him, yeah? Instead, let's make him realize how much of a moron he is for letting you go."

Y/N laughs slightly before nodding at her words, Alex chuckling lightly as well.

"Besides," Alex trails off. "I know someone who is quite interested in getting to know you."

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully. "Please, that's the absolute last thing I want right now."

She nods. "Oh, I know," she agrees. "Just saying for a night of no strings. Then never have to see them again."

Alex's words hit hard, something in her chest not sitting right. She could feel the thoughts slowly melting in as they began to make her think about if Lando had been doing the same. Getting over her by getting under someone else.

It wasn't out of the norm for him, as she knew, being one of his good friends before they dated.

Y/N grabbed her clutch not too long after, following Alex out the door and onto the streets of Barcelona. It was filled with locals, live music, and small markets in the alleyways. The girls were happily talking and conversing as they walked down the streets, heels clicking on the concrete.

They were headed to a dinner that the drivers usually had together the evening before the race, Y/N already knowing she would be attending. She didn't really pay any mind to the fact that Lando would be there, only remembering the fact that she was coming for her friends and her friends only. At least that's what she was telling herself.

Once they had reached the restaurant, the security guards had led them inside and up the elevator to the rooftop where most of the guys had been sitting.

Charles was the first to give her a huge bear hug, saying how happy he was to see her, and he couldn't wait for her to cheer him on the next day. She then greeted the rest of the guys in the group, part of her mind noticing Lando had yet to show up.

She had taken a seat next to Pietra, with Max sitting on the opposite side. He leaned back in his chair and peered over at Y/N with a knowing look.

"You alright?" he asked softly, she nodded with a grin.

"All good."

He nods before leaning back up to engage in a conversation with some of the other racers on his side. Y/N had happily started a conversation with Pietra and Max's girl who sat directly across from them, instantly feeling at ease as they talked.

Y/n had managed to get a few drinks into her system, enough to let her nerves loosen up as her conversations began to flow easily.

"Well, if it isn't the man of the hour himself!" Pierre jokes, clapping as he laughs loudly. The boys are all cheering in amusement as the familiar head of curls approaches the table in a rush. He dapped up the boys as he passed by them, making his way towards the opposite end of the table from where Y/N had sat.

Pietra didn't fail to notice the way Y/N froze mid-sentence as the sound of his voice and laugh from across the table. Instantly grabbing her hand to help calm her nerves.

"Just keep your attention over here, yeah? Don't turn and look," Pietra assures. Y/N showed no emotion, just a completely blank expression.

Her gaze fell from Pietra to Max, who gave her a slight nod to assure her she was okay. "I'm going to go say hello," he says. Y/n nods back before continuing back to her conversation with Pietra and Kelly, her voice showing no signs of anxiety as she spoke.

Y/N noticed how Pietra kept looking over Y/N shoulder, an uneasy look in her eyes as she tried to keep some focus on her friend in front of her.

Y/N sighs before rubbing a hand over her forehead. She looks at Pietra, whose eyes look back at her before she gives her a smile.

"He's looking," Y/N says with a slightly amused smile as her friend tries to not show any sign of nervousness. She gives Pietra a knowing look.

The girl sighs. "Yeah. He hasn't stopped staring."

Y/N swats at the comment, not trying to show how much it was bugging her. How much it was bugging her mainly to just turn around and look at him.

The part of her that missed him wanted to turn and look at him, but the other part that was so against him was stronger. Telling her to keep her back turned, and show him no lick of her attention.

"You okay?" Kelly asks her slowly, Y/N turning over to her with a nod and a fake smile.

"Of course," she chuckles dryly before motioning to her. "Tell me how Penelope is doing with Lily!" she assures, quickly changing the subject. Kelly gives her a smile before nodding and spilling all the newest details of the two girls.

Y/N happily listened in, Pietra squeezing her friend's hand every so often to make sure she was doing alright as she would receive a squeeze back to signal she was doing alright.

It was a little later into the dinner when Max returns, food finally making its ways to the table.

Y/N happily smiled, thanking the waiter who stared a little too long at her as he asked her if she needed anything else. Once she shook her head, he gave her another smirk before walking off, Y/N unaware of his niceness being a way of hitting on her.

Her also becoming unaware of the glare being sent towards the waiter from across that table.

Lando couldn't lie to himself, seeing how she would happily interact with everyone at the table like he didn't exist. It made his heart pound, and his chest tighten.

As soon as Max came over, he could tell something was off. Max was his best friend. It had become almost too easy to figure out his telltale signs. So when Max had finally caved, saying she was there, his eyes couldn't stop looking at the other end of the table where she sat.

"Don't even think about it," Max says, snapping him out of his thoughts. Lando looked at him with a confused look. "Don't, mate."

"Don't what?"

Max nods over to her as he crosses his arms. "Don't even think about going to talk to her," he orders. "She doesn't need that right now."

Lando scoffs. "I wasn't going-"

"Mate, I'm not as thick as you think I am. Your eyes were showing it."

Lando snaps his head to him in shock. Charles laughs before nodding and pointing at Max. "He's right. Your expressions are too easy to read."

Lando rubs a hand over his face with a groan. Max nods towards her again. "It already took me long enough to get her to come out here. Let her enjoy this time with her friends."

Lando sighs, looking down at his lap, then looking back at her with a look of desperation.

He missed her.

He missed her so much it fucking hurt.

Every time he looked at the painting he had gotten from her gala, it made him realize how bad he truly messed up. Made him think abck to all of the hardwork she put in just make a name for herself.

He knew he had made it worse by getting a painting from her.

"Mate, what's going on in that mind? I can see the gears turning." Max says.

Lando just shakes his head, taking a sip of his drink first.

"I think I fucked up by getting one of her pieces," he admits. "I only did it to have something of hers. Not to make her feel like a charity case."

Alexandra frowns at his statement.

"Wait," she starts before pointing at him. "You bought one of her paintings?" she asks, watching the boy nod. Alexandra rolls her eyes.

"No wonder she looked like she was going to kill someone that night," she sighs before cursing under her breath in French. Charles looks at the boy with shock.

"Lando," he sighs in shock, watching as his hands went up in surrender.

"To be fair," he starts. "I told them I'd only get the piece if my money went towards the local art schools. Not towards her."

This made Alex freeze, Charles choke on his chicken, Pierre drop his fork, and Max cover his mouth as his drink spat out from his mouth.

"You did what?" Alex asked, her mouth dropping.

He shrugged while playing with an anxiety ring on his right finger. One he specifically had been gifted from the girl across the table.

"The man kept asking me to buy one of the pieces because of how infatuated I was by it. So I said I would," he admits, taking a bite of his food. "If all the profit went to the local art schools. I said i know the artist would appreciate that."

They all looked so shocked by his answer, he looked completely unfazed.

"What?" he asks. "All she would ever talk about was how she didn't want to take every dime she makes from her pieces. She wanted to dedicate most of it to the art schools to inspire local artists." he explains, making it sound as if it wasnothing crazy.

This made everyone just stare at him.

"Does she know this?" Max asked.

He shook his head. "I didn't want her to think it was something I was only doing to win her back," he admits. "I didn't sleep that night she left. I spent all my time studying anything art-related. I wanted to understand her life, as she has spent so much time understanding my own,"

"Fuckin' shit, Lando," Max scoffs in shock while shaking his head. "I know you said you bought one, but mate. How much?"

Lando just shrugs once again, picking at his food before his eyes find her figure again. She was laughing at something Kelly said, Lando feeling his pulse quicken at the smile he was so infatuated by.

"What can I say?" he scoffs, his eyes never leaving her figure as she moves. "She was the one, Max. She is the one. I had a ring and everything."

"You what?" Pierre interrupts, his face nothing but shock. Max frowned.

"Mate, what? Why didn't I even know this?" he bombards, hands up in shock. Alex and Charles covered their mouths in awe. Lando sighs with a dry chuckle, shaking his head.

"Because I didn't want to speak about it just yet," he admits. "Pietra even came to help pick it out," he finishes, earning a scoff from Max.

"Then why did you say that shit about her? You really broke her, Lando," Alexandra speaks out, shaking her head.

"Because I was jealous and envious, okay?" he admits. He huffed as they all looked at him with confusion on their faces. "I never got to see her as much because she was so into her work. I was busy traveling for work, too, and we just never saw one another. When I was home, she was at the studio. When I was away, she was at home or at galas. I felt like she and I were becoming distanced," he explains. "Even when I'd be at the studio, she just felt so far away. I know how hard she works. I just felt left out, I guess."

"No excuses, mate. You still said it," Charles tuts, Lando nodding with an ashamed look in his eyes.

"Yeah, I know," he accepts, downing the rest of his drink.

They all look at him with pity and guilt, but also knowing he walked himself into this situation.

Yet they could all see and read how much the two missed one another. Things were just all sorts of messed up. Alex could especially see it on both sides. She would always take Y/N's side, never a doubt in that.

After hearing what Lando had just revealed, she knew that Lando truly wanted nobody but her.

"Just don't tell her, okay? She's going to think I did all of this just to get her back. That's not why I did it," he says, giving them all genuine looks as he spoke.

"Can we move on, please? I'd rather not sulk the day before the race."

They all agreed before Charles slowly brought up his plans for the offseason, everyone trying their best to listen in. Max stood up before patting Lando's shoulder reassuringly.

He gives his best friend a look of sorrow and pity. Lando nodded with a pursed smile and nodded in acceptance. Max nods back before walking back over to join his girlfriend and other friends.

Y/N could tell something was off when Max had sat down quietly, his food slowly being picked at as he tried his best to listen in on Max's story. She decided not to push it as it didn't seem like the right time to do such a thing.

As the night dragged on, Y/N felt a bit lighter as the drinks hit her system. Not enough to get her drunk, just enough to keep her feeling at bay with the tension on that rooftop.

What was bugging her at that point was the fact that the waiter kept making moves on her when she had shown clear signs of being uninterested. Max had even spoken up for her a few times, happily sticking up for her when she felt uncomfy.

"Mate, she's good, seriously," Max says, a more serious tone playing as he gives him a small smile.

The waiter shrugs before turning his attention to Y/N, a small smirk on his face. "If she's good I'd love to hear it come from her pretty mouth," he says, making her almost choke on her drink.

She nods before clearing her throat. "He's right, I'm good. I'll pass," she says sternly, not matching the smile he is givng her.

He nods at her. "I'm sure if he didn't say that, you'd happily be down to give me a chance."

"Um no, I actually am fine-"

"I doubt that. Do you always have the men speak for you? iI can happily obey that."

Y/N looks at him with shock on her face. "No I don't, actually. Who do you think you are?"

"Whatever you want me to be," he chuckles, his smile irritating her more. She shook her head.

"If that's what you're saying, then I want you to be gone," she snaps, watching his smile fade lightly only to return way wider.

"I knew you wanted me," he says before laying his hand onto her shoulder which caused her to snap away from his touch.

"Oh come on, I know you do-"

"For fucks sake mate, leave her the fuck alone yeah? She's not interested!

Everyone's heads turned towards the other end of the table, shock and confusion all over each person's face. Lando sat there in his chair, glaring harshly at the waiter, his legs spread, one elbow sitting on his knee while the other was holding his drink to his lips. Not missing the fact that his jaw twitched every so often as his eyes never left the waiter ahead of him.

Y/N looked at Lando with a frown at his tone, mouth agape as she looked at him.

The waiter timidly made his journey away from the table without another word, his posture showing signs of embarrassment. Lando couldn't have given a fuck less. Would've laughed if the guy left crying, in all honesty.

"There was no need for that," Y/N snapped at him across the table, her gaze was harsh. Lando's eyes slowly trailed to her, raising his eyebrows in surprise at her tone.

"Sweetheart, he was basically humping your leg. I did you a favor," he says before clearing his throat.

Y/N shook her head before standing from her spot, throwing the cloth from her lap onto her empty plate. "Excuse me," she grumbles before leaving the table.

Alex and Pietra didn't hesitate to follow in her direction as their friend walked hurriedly into the restaurant.

The rest of their table kept looking back at Lando, who showed no remorse for his actions, and took another sip of the cocktail in his hand. Charles laughed bitterly at the guy next to him. "Oi mate, you've got some shit to figure out." he mutters while shaking his head.

Lando looked over at Max, who shook his head and mumbling a 'don't' to his best mate.

Lando took a deep breath, turning into a huff, before he began to dig back into the food on his plate. His chest tightened at the thought of him hurting her feelings more than he already had.

He just couldn't take the fact that some other guy couldn't keep his hands or words off the girl he loves. Even if she never looked his way again. Even if she was handling the waiter in front of her, he couldn't help but step in. It was a habit.

Y/N had walked into the bathroom at that point, trying to run some cool water along her arms to cool down her system. She took a breath, snapping her head as she heard the door slam open with her two best friends scurrying into the room. The clicks of their heels echoing through the empty bathroom.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked as they got to her side. She nods, her attention back on her arms as she began to pat them dry with the towels.

"He's just infuriating," she mutters while tossing the paper towels away and crossing her arms.

"He had no right to do that," Pietra says with a shake of her head. "Max was supposed to tell him to be on his best behavior."

Y/N shook her head. "It shouldn't be left to Max to babysit his best mate. Lando needs to figure his shit out."

Pietra nods. "I agree. I'm so sorry. He really can't just let you be."

Alex looks at her with a questionable look in her eye, then back at Y/N. Then, not being able to control what comes out of her mouth next, it all comes sputtering out. "Lando didn't buy one of your paintings!"

Y/N frowns at her. "What?"

Alex closes her eyes, rubbing her forehead witha huff.

"I mean," she starts, then locking eyes with Y/N. "He did buy one, yes. But he didn't exactly make sure you got the money from it."

"Alex, what are you saying? He stole a piece?" Y/N freaks, not knowing what to think. Only to not freak yet as Alex starts to stop her from thinking the worst, throwing her hands up in a shaking motion.

"No, no, no, not like that! He paid for it, yes," she stutters, huffing out a loud and frustrated groan. Her head tilts back to the ceiling. "Oh, he is so going to kill me for saying this," she mutters to herself, bringing her head back to look at Y/N.

"He bought the piece. But he only bought it, saying he wants all of his profits to go straight towards the local art schools," she admits, making both girls look at her with both shock and confusion.

Y/N shakes her head in disbelief. "Wait, what? How did-"

"He said he knows. How much would you've wanted that money to go to them more. That you always put most of your profits towards the schools. So he made sure all of his would make it to the other art schools." Alex says quickly, not stopping to breathe at any moment.

She watches as her friend's face contorts from shock, to confusion, to awe, to guilt, to anger.

"How much?"

Alex opens her mouth, but is stopped not too long after. "How much, Alex? I know you would've figured out how much."

Alex shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know off the top of my head," she admits. "I can see if I have the anonymous buyer info for that piece. He was the only anonymous buyer you had."

"Can you look then, please?"

"Why does that matter?" Pietra asked wit her brows furrowed.

"Because if it's what I think it is, I am going to throw him off of the balcony."

The silence began to rise as the girls waited for Alex, who pulled up the files from the gala. Y/N had her arms crossed, standing there agonizingly patient as her mind began to run a thousand times a minute.

Y/N had only one anonymous bidder. They bought one of the most personal pieces she had spent most of her time working on, as she had to redo it over and over again to make sure it was right. That it was what she needed to outdo everyone else's pieces. It was the one piece that brought every single one of her artwork together.

She knew it was worth a pretty penny, as both Alex, her boss and the seller had told her before the gala.

So if it was the piece she thought it was, Lando was going to have to do more than hide from her.

It was when Alex froze from her scrolling and quick skimming through her phone, slowly letting her eyes trail up to Y/N in front of her.

"Y/N,"

That's when Y/N knew.

She gives the girls a knowing nod, excusing herself past them as they tried to stop her.

Her heels clicked on the marble floors, people buzzing around them as she was on her mission. Ignoring her friends' pleas and calls of her name as her pace quickened.

She didn't hesitate to grab a glass of whatever was on the serving platter a waiter held, holding it in her hand as she walked.

Once she had reached outside where their table was, Max was the first to spot her. Almost shitting himself as he watched the girl with murder in her eyes, he nearly fell out of his chair as he watched the girls almost running to grab her.

"Shit, Y/N," he calls out trying to grab her. Y/N didn't miss the way Lando's calm gaze left Charles, turning to look up at her in confusion. Before he could open his mouth, everything happened so fast.

Before he could react, or before anyone could stop her, the drink in her hands was dumped all over Lando.

Gasps were heard all across the table. Lando just sat there frozen, unfazed by her reaction. He kept his gaze down. He knew she was fuming.

"You donated 2 million dollars to the local art schools? Are you fucking serious?" she snaps at him, her voice hard and stern. He just sat there silently, letting her take it out on him. He deserved a lot more than her yelling. And a drink being poured on him.

Y/N knew his silence said it all.

"Two million? Lando, are you joking, mate? You said it wasn't that much," Max exasperates. Y/N snaps her head back at Max, a frown on her face.

"You knew?" her voice muttered, watching as Max huffed and let his chest fall as he nodded. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah. Yeah, I knew. I didn't think it would've been as much as that."

Y/N scoffs and shakes her head. She points at Max. "We will talk about that later," she hisses, turning her attention back to Lando. He was running a hand threw his alcohol-covered hair, then rubbing the same hand over his jaw before clenching it. He sat there silently.

"You're so fucking selfish," she snaps, shaking her head. He scoffs back, eyes finally actually looking into hers for the first time that night.

If they weren't in such a predicament in that moment, he would've happily folded right then and there.

"I didn't do it to win you back," he admits. "I did it because you gave me a rude awakening. I wanted to do something to help inspire and encourage upcoming artists."

"You just couldn't let me have one night. One fucking night for the hardwork I did? You just had to make it about you doing charity?"

He shook his head. "I did it because I thought it was the right thing! Not to take the spotlight from you!"

She scoffed and shook her head. "You don't get it, Lando."

"What? What don't I get, Y/N?"

"This was my moment! My moment to finally show my talent. My moment to finally make a name for myself. My moment to finally let my hard work pay off," she explains, her tone becoming shaky. "But of course you had to throw your money to prove a point-"

"How?"

"By showing you could surpass me! That you're more successful than I am!" Her voice was loud, making most of the fellow racers at the table flinch. None of them having ever seen her this angry and upset.

Lando immediately feels his blood simmer, his chest tighten as his eyes fell. Tears began to glaze over her eyes. Her hands dropped from the air, completely defeated.

"You just had to prove you'll always have more than I do," she sniffles. "You don't see the messages. The comments. You don't hear the words people say. Or the snide remarks people leave when they saw me with you."

Lando listened to her talk, taking in every word.

"Then what you said made it all come true. Like you confirmed it," she admits. "I know you work hard. You all do, and you deserve everything you get," she explains to the table, then turns back to the table. "But just because I see potential in my career field, doesn't mean my hard work is any less than yours, Lando."

His lips part, guilt immeditaely building in his stomach.

"So what if I just scribble on a piece of fabric?" she chuckles bitterly. "I inspire others to show that what I do can go a long way. No matter how many sleepless nights I've had with painter's block, I can get somewhere," she admits, tears falling freely. "Then you going and doing what you did? Just shows and proves to people that I can't be successful without you feeling guilty or pity for me and putting your money in because you felt like you needed to. All because you messed up."

Y/N wipes her eyes before remaining silent for a few moments. "So no, Lando, you don't get it. You just throw money at things to make yourself or the situation better."

Lando felt speechless in that moment. He wanted to say that was far from true. It was not what he intended to do. It was never something he was doing to make light on it.

Yet, in that moment, he knew it was better to stay silent than to argue with her. So he let her stab him with her words, let her get it out.

She sniffles once more before looking back at the entire table, putting her hands up in surrender. "I'm so sorry, guys. I really did not mean to ruin the night. It's a big race tomorrow, I'm sorry," she laughs dryly, each person at the table knowing she never meant for that to happen. All of them feeling bad for her, not a single ounce of anger or devastation was felt towards her in that moment.

"I'm going to go," she nods. "Enjoy the rest of the night, yeah? Goodluck tomorrow."

With that, she leaves quietly. The fading of her heels was heard as she disappeared into the night. It was silent for a few moments, before Max was the first to speak up.

"Lando you fucked up. Majorly," he starts. "I don't know how you're going to fix this one."

Lando just nods, his gaze suddenly very entranced by the napkin in front of him. The drink dripping from his face that was once poured all over him.

Lando knew if he spoke in that moment, he would end up just sobbing. He felt so lost. He never meant for it to turn out this way. Never did he do it to gain attention for himself. It's why he wanted to keep it strictly confidential and anonymous. He wanted this to be focused on her, and only her.

"I do," Charles spoke up with pursed lips. "Know how to fix it, that is."

Lando snapped his eyes over at Charles, his eyes red and squinting from how much they hurt.

"But are you willing to cost yourself a race over it?"

Lando didn't care about anything else in that moment if he was being so real. He just wanted Y/N. He just wanted her.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

A/N: don't hate me lol, I SWEAR WE'RE COOKING OK. I had to make you hurt a bit and hate Lando just a tad. JUST HEAR ME OUT

(lmk if you'd like to be added to the taglist!)

taglist:

@nickie-amore , @tylerstacobell , @piceous21 , @ariesandwolves , @lifeonawhim , @formulawhore , @asterooidsblog , @staple-your-mouth , @sinfully-yoursss , @smileyshaven , @midnightsaugust , @astrlape , @relijanka , @jooooooooo-cycycy16 , @cherryhazee , @nina481 , @lighttsoutlewis , @suns3treading , @areej003 , @dramallama9 , @putherup , @green--beanie , @footyball , @callsign-mirage

[bottmless-pitt]

I'll be right there. 1/2

CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of suicide, talks of self-harm, Reader attempted suicide. Jack Abbot x F!reader, Neighbor!Reader, Medical inaccuracies, blood, car trauma, mentions of Abbot's time in the military, brief descriptions of bruising, blood, and stitches. Angst with an ambiguously happy ending. Summary: Jack Abbot's new neighbor ends up in his Trauma rooms for all the wrong reasons. Can he break through to her before it's too late? Author's Note: Some real self-indulgent angst. I highkey love a reader insert with a tragic backstory to lean into. This is part 1, I'll be posting part 2 later this week! Part 2 will definitely be more fluff and smut than this, so no hard feelings if you'd like to read it later. Let me know your thoughts. All the kindness from the other piece is keeping me upright. Enjoy the self-indulgent angst!!!

The lights were too bright. It was stale in the cavernous halls of the PMTC’s emergency department. The smell of blood and cleaning fluid never fully left your nose, and the sounds of someone’s lowest moments seemed to echo out eternally.

Jack loved the chaos that working in the Pitt brings him, it’s grounding. After spending better part of a decade on the front lines, returning to civilian life was more than monotonous, it was dehumanizing. Jack had understood himself well in the thick of the battlefield, he worked quickly without hesitation or fear. He had a carefully built self-image that hinged on his ability to be useful to someone in crisis.

After losing a portion of his leg, being honorably discharged, and sent back to retire he had lost the only structure he’d ever known. He couldn’t figure out how to be useful in the stillness, where no one was crying out for loved ones or God-like figures to save them. He was aimless without the chaos.

So, he loved The Pitt, and its never-ending line of incoming traumas. He appreciated his role in the machine that cogged overhead, happy to do his part and keep moving. Some days were harder than others, some cases left him feeling threadbare and worn thin, but the silence that greeted him when he walked home left him more haunted than anything he’d seen at work in the past few years.

So, all in all, Jack didn’t complain about the work the way the rest of his team did. He never minded the patients that would kick and scream at him, nor did he care much when there were far too many people packed into the waiting room. Yes, in a perfect world none of this would happen, but he enjoyed that it kept him moving forward. He needed the momentum desperately.

On an off night, however, he can’t seem to get the itch scratched. They had breezed through most of the day-shift’s leftover cases, discharged who they could, and moved onto the next. All of his cases were being monitored, the chairs had slowed down significantly, and it was approaching the Night-shift lull.

He was starting to get antsy, and after the third lap checking in on his team, he collapsed into a chair next to his Charge Nurse, Bridgit.

“Don’t get too comfortable soldier.” She looked down at him from the top rim of her reading glasses. Jack only smirked, she quirked an unimpressed eyebrow back at him.

“Oh, you know me,” He leaned back into the chair, putting the lumbar support to the test. “I’m not comfortable unless I’m elbow deep in traumas.” He passively spun his chair side to side, looking less like the Emergency Department Attending and more like a teenage boy stuck at the family barbeque.

“More like elbow deep in trauma, period.” She shoots back, tapping him with her clipboard the way a teacher would readjust a student. That was Bridgit, she was the one really running this place, and Jack had no issues submitting to her power when she pushed him around a little. She opened her mouth to say something, when the phone behind her lit up. It only took a few hushed words before turning back to him, “Look alive kid, we have incoming, ETA 3 minutes.”

Jack springs up, walking away as she finishes gathering the troops. He’s outside in a flash, prepped and sterile before the sirens could even be heard in the distance. Ellis not more than three steps behind him, already gloving up ready to take on whatever she needs. Jack tilted his head back and gave a calm thumbs up as they see the flashing lights come up and over the horizon.

When the ambulance pulls up and the gurney is wheeled out, he sees a young woman, bloodied, bruised, but semi-conscious. He begins his medical assessment and taking the reins from the EMTs. He doesn’t get a glimpse of her face before he begins spouting orders.

“Let’s get her set up in Trauma 1, I don’t like blood loss here, prep to intubate but let’s see if we can’t assess the head trauma before we sedate her.” He led as Ellis trailed along the other side, following his orders exactly. “Hi there, I’m Doctor Jack Abbot, I’m a doctor at the Pittsburg Trauma Medical Center, we’re going to take good care of you.” He heard a small groan as the patient slowly turned their head towards him.

He saw you then, he’s shocked he hadn’t recognized you sooner, on the gurney laid out before him. His sweet, albeit quiet, neighbor who had never given him any trouble. His breath caught in his throat as your eyes seemed to recognize him, before rolling back in your skull and everything went dark.

--

Pittsburg was a bitch in February. The weather was unrelenting, and frost bitten. No one wanted to be outside for more than five minutes, let alone lug box after box up the small stairwell into the dusty old apartment upstairs.

So, when Jack, who snagged a rare weekend off, noticed his new upstairs neighbor was moving in he had no excuse not to help. That’s just the kind of guy Jack was, he wasn’t going to let a new neighbor move in without at least offering. He was thankful you had sense enough to hire movers, rather than try and do it yourself the way the last tenants had. (He had the pleasure of trying to sleep through three college aged guys try to carry a sectional up the stairs two Septembers ago.)

He didn’t fancy himself too much help, but the next trip he saw you coming down he poked his head out.

“Oh!” you squeaked, nervous to catch one of your new neighbors off guard, “I’m so sorry I didn’t see you come out.” You clarified.

“it’s no worries.” Jack stepped out and extended a hand, “I’m Jack, I’m in 1B.” He pointed his thumb back at the door that was clearly labeled behind him. You only smiled shyly and let out a polite laugh offering your name in return.

“I’m 2B, so I guess I’m right above you.”  You spoke softly. “Is the moving too much noise? I’m so sorry, it was the only time slot the movers had left.”

Jack shrugged, he hadn’t really thought about it, with his sleep schedule being as backwards as it was. This was early for him if he was being honest.

“Not for me, no. I’m night shift at the hospital down the road.” He noticed your fidgeting, trying to keep an eye on the movers without being too rude. You were young, far too young for him, but it didn’t stop him from admiring your face. He especially noticed the crease that developed between your eyebrows when you saw the movers drop a box boldly labeled fragile.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to keep you, just wanted to see if you needed any help.” He conceded. Your head shot back to look at him, wide eyed, and a flush creeped up your spine.

“No, I’m sorry, I’m so distracted. The move’s been pretty chaotic.” Your shoulder slump, letting the weight of the moment hang heavy before taking a deep breath and regaining composure. You shoot him a smile, but he notices how it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “But I think we’re ok! And I don’t want to steal your night away.” She brushes off the comment.

He doesn’t reasonably believe you, but hey, moving can be tough and he doesn’t want to keep you longer than necessary.  So, he throws a friendly smile, catching your eyes with an open intensity. “No problem, but if you ever need anything I’m down here.” He watches his words land, and you pause a moment before nodding again.

“Thanks Jack, and uh- “you peak back through the open front door to watch the movers for a moment, “same here. If you ever need anything at all.”

And that was the first and last time he’d spoken to you, until now. Until you were wheeled into his trauma room, covered in blood, multiple broken ribs, and an unidentified head trauma.

Jack was a talented doctor, a master at compartmentalizing in high stress environments, and acting fast in situations going south. He was a steady hand in an earthquake, proving his actions time and time again, both in the field and out of it. He was a good doctor, but seeing you laid up before him had his throat dry in an instant.

He couldn’t reconcile the shy neighbor he met only a few months ago is the same girl bleeding out on his table, and the last thing she heard was him promising to take good care of him.

For a moment, half a moment maybe, as your eyes slide shut, he lets the chaos around him rumble away, it couldn’t touch his shock. He let the nurses bark SATs and Ellis call out questions.

For a brief moment he allowed himself to be Jack Abbot, 1B, who just wanted to make sure his new neighbor was safe. Jack Abbot, 1B, who would always take her mail dropped into his box by accident up to her door and ring the bell. Jack Abbot who wanted to get a second chance at a first meeting, because he’s sure that if he could just be slightly more charming, he’d have gotten a chance to carry a box up the stairs and into your new home. That he would have a chance to leave you better than he found it. The Jack Abbot that was selfish, wanting a woman who was younger than him, who’d only ever spoken to him the once, but had never left his mind.

It wasn’t until one of the nurses brushed past him with a bag of O-Neg that he snapped out of it.

“Fuck, we need to get her intubated-“He announced, reaching for the tube, and before he can allow himself to think any further about what could happen to you, his mind shuts and he becomes Dr. Abbot again.

The first thing you feel when you come to, is a dull ache in your left side. Everything hurts, actually, but your left side outranks the rest by far. Your eyes don’t open right away, too heavy to try lifting them. You let the sounds of the monitor to your right keep time, beep… beep… beep. It would be comforting if the sheets didn’t itch, and your feet weren’t so cold, or if there wasn’t the sounds of people dying outside the doorway to your room.

When you opened your eyes, you immediately regretted it, your head blooming in fresh pain from the intensity of the lights. Immediately shutting them closed and letting out a groan. The lights shining overhead had you spinning, sending waves of pain down your body. It was never supposed to end here.

If you told yourself a year ago you ended up in the emergency room tonight, she’d probably laugh in your face.

It all started with your fiancé, or ex-fiancé, who couldn’t seem to decide if they loved you or not. Or at least that’s what they told you last December while you were picking out wedding cake flavors. It wasn’t that they didn’t love you, per-se, the reality is they didn’t love you enough to stop fucking their coworker. So, wedding is called off, which you lament but move on.

It's not until he kicks you out come January, with nothing but enough cash to stay at a shitty motel for a few weeks that things start to weigh you down. The small attic apartment in a townhouse in the heart of Pittsburg is a refuge. It takes most of your paycheck every month, and you have barely enough furniture to call it livable. It’s completely yours, though, and that’s not something you’ve ever had.

So, you keep going through the motions. Then you get fired from your job. Budget cuts, layoffs, restructuring is uttered. You suspect it has more to do with the Senior Manager that’s sporting the engagement ring that was yours just a few months prior. That’s when the spiral really begins.

You reach out to whatever family you have left and are met with cold indifference. They’re not unsupportive, but you aren’t the only one with problems. Any attempts to reach out to old friends lost to time are met with similar tepid support.

The dismissal is enough to keep you firmly bottled up for years.

You’re not really sure what the final straw was but looking up at the steep steps of your apartment building, you can’t bring yourself up the steps. Not when you know the only thing waiting for you is a stuffy apartment devoid of all life. You contemplate, for a moment, knocking on the downstairs neighbor’s door, but decide against it. You’re not sure what kind of doctor he is, but he always looks so tired when you catch him coming up the sidewalk in the mornings.

But after a long shift at your new dead-end job, you just decide it’s not worth it anymore. You couldn’t spend another night thanking your lucky stars to be living a life you despise. For the first time in a long time, you feel nothing at all. No sadness, no pain, just intense clarity. You turn on your heel, walk out into the cold, and hardly flinch when you take a step out into the busy street. The last thing you remember is the bright light of the oncoming traffic consume you.

You were never meant to end up here. You never meant for any of this. You open your eyes again and reach out for the call button.

You were by no means a medical expert, but you thought the button was more for Nurses rather than doctors. You hadn’t expected for Jack to poke his head into your room, but of course he had. Of course, Jack was an ER doctor, and of course he was in your room. Lest we forget what sick karmic luck exists.

“Hey there sleepy head.” He was calm, but you could feel his eyes racking down you with medically trained precision. How mortifying for your neighbor to be your doctor after a night like this. You want to curl up and hide, he reaches out for your hand.

“How are you feeling?” he tilts his head down at you.

“Hurts.” You manage to choke out, throat sore and rough, like sandpaper. He presses his lips in a tight line and nods his head gently.

“Understandable, you were in a car accident.” He reached over, fiddling with the equipment. “I’m adjusting your meds. You should feel less pain here in a minute.” You resist the urge to let out a chuckle, the physical pain was hardly the main concern, and you had a feeling by the unwavering gaze jack was giving you- he already knew that.

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me.” He takes a seat on your bedside. “I spoke with some of the officers on the scene,” He fiddled with the thin paper sheet below you. “And they’re pretty concerned about you, kid.” He dropped his hand on top of yours, and you felt your whole body react.

His eyes boring holes into your skull as you try to squirm out from under his gaze. The pain meds slowly trickling in your system do little to help as you try to adjust. You cry out in pain when your skin, bruised and swollen, is stretched to its limit along your side.

“Easy there, you’ve got stitches.”  Jack, Dr. Abbot, has his arms around you in an instant. He helps you turn until you’re lying on your side, and you allow yourself the comfort of curling up in protest.

“That better?” He asks, and you only nod. “Good.”

Jack makes no motion to move, he just sits with you, watches you like you’ll disappear any second. He opened his mouth a few times but ultimately spent the next few moments watching you.

It was a shameful feeling, to know your low got that low and now you’re sitting with your neighbor who probably thinks you’re totally insane for walking into oncoming traffic. He was some hotshot ER doctor. You were just some random person who’d come swan diving into his life headfirst and knocked themselves out on the bottom of the pool.

You couldn’t bear the agony of waking up without meaning again, and you don’t understand why this man, who owed you nothing, was sitting here with you. Your body begged you to say something, do something, anything, but your mind was numb.

You burrowed deeper into your own hands, and it wasn’t until you felt Dr. Abbot’s own hands petting your hair, that you realized you were crying. You felt your whole body sink into the thin mattress below you, like a faulty tire finally siphoning the last bit of air. Your body shook and your muscles ache around the constricted breaths.

“I know, let it out.” He encouraged, scooting closer to you.

“I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore.” You finally admit. In a strange way it feels better saying it to someone other than your own reflection. You can’t look at him, you don’t want to see the look in his eyes when he thinks it. You’re completely insane.

You don’t know how long he sits with you, letting your body heave its sobs. He stays, ignoring other patients, to sit with you. One hand on your head the other fiddles with the chain around his neck.

“I lost a leg, in Afghanistan in 2009,” His voice is calm, almost matter of fact, but waivers off like he’s reliving it. “And I thought that would be the hardest thing I ever had to experience.” He moved his hands away from you.

“I moved back home, thought about retiring, thought about working at a college as a professor. I liked teaching enough. I thought, the worst is behind me, just gotta move on.” He clears his throat, and you peak through to look up at him, lost in his own story. “I had a wife, I was going to settle down and figure out how to be there for her, but it wasn’t that simple. I had lost myself completely over there.

“I was a soldier my whole life, I trained to be a soldier first, medic second. I don’t think I remembered what civilian life really was. We used to sit around at base camp, talking about what we’d do when we got home, but once I was there it meant nothing to me anymore.” You took a shuddering breath, and he looked down at you, “I came back, and I had some really dark nights. I couldn’t move, I had no purpose, I was a soldier first, medic second, person third. I couldn’t be a soldier, I wasn’t cleared to be a medic, and I had no idea how to be a person anymore.

“There more than a few nights where I begged for everything to stop. I prayed for there to be an end to that feeling. So, I get it. Hey, I really do, but this is not the way out you think it is kid.” He put his hand on yours, and you felt his fingers curl around yours tightly, like he was holding onto something that was just on the brink of slipping him by.

“I don’t have anything,” You admit to yourself, “It’s not just things, I don’t have a life, I don’t have anything.”

He lets out a shaky breath, “You have me.” He tilts his head again trying to catch your reaction. Your breath gets caught in your throat, and distantly you hear the heartrate monitor increase. He only chuckles and reaches past you to turn the monitor off. “I mean it, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You don’t know me at all.” You sound like a petulant child, but he lets you get away with it.

“But I want to.”

And when Jack puts it that way it’s so simple. He makes life sound easy to rebuild, and you want to yell and scream that it isn’t that simple. You want to shake him until he understands the wreckage he’s standing on top of isn’t just a broken-down building, it’s a radioactive wasteland.

“Here’s what I want to do, and you tell me if this is alright.” He stands, crossing his arms, then looking down at you. “I’m going to have a doctor come talk to you, and he’s going to set you up with a therapy program that’ll be a good fit for you. Might even get you on some medicine if they feel like it’s the right fit. I’m also going to give you my phone number, and I’m going to check on you before I leave for work and when I get home for a few weeks. I’m going to give you the number for my charge nurse as well, in case you can’t reach me.” He runs a hand down his face, and you can see the exhaustion pulling him down. You don’t offer an argument.

“I know it’s scary.” He admits to you, “To choose to get better, but you can, and I’ll be right here, alright?” He nods, and you nod with him.

“Okay,” you concede, exhausted form your own emotions.

“It’s rude,” He pats your shoulder, “to end up in a trauma on your friend’s shift you know.”

“Are we friends, Dr. Abbot?” You question.

“We are now.”

[seewetter]

"I still think it was irresponsible for people to put so much faith into hormone based gender affirming care before this study existed."

There seems to be a misunderstanding: this is not the first time medical studies have shown gender affirming care to be valuable and good.

This is just a study that Republicans, in the midst of attempts at making such hormones illegal for transgender people, had ordered.

I agree that this being funded and supervised by anti-transgender Republicans can make the information a bit more convincing for people who may be on the fence about hormone use, but the entire American medical establishment (!) has been in unanimous support of hormone treatments for years. Unless you believe that only Republican politicians can scientifically prove things, these treatments have been scientifically proven to be the right move for decades.

"And they were just giving it (or worse, selling it) to children who were already marginalized and vulnerable."

There is some disagreement here on this website about how we should address people who, like with this sentence, are expressing a fear of children accessing hormones.

One school of thought suggests that when discussing the issue, we should simplify things and basically say "nobody is just giving or selling it to kids". And they have a point, because most of the time, if some kid says "I'm transgender", the medical establishment responds by suggesting therapy, not hormones. And if you want hormones, they will put you through at minimum 18 months of therapy just to make sure you're *really* sure and *really* not making a mistake. And the experience most trans people have with this process is not "wow, I'm being listened to" but rather the experience of talking to someone who doesn't understand, doesn't want to understand and is really trying to talk you out of it.

Another school of thought suggests that we shouldn't simplify, because there are supposedly some cases where transgender kids do actually get hormones. But even so, nobody breathes a word when children who aren't transgender get *their* hormones from the doctor. That isn't cause for alarm, even though these are the exact same substances, often in the same doses and also often for non-medical reasons. Now I'm sure that this will lead to big long debates with people trying to point out why these situations are different and why we should all panic about these substances being given to kids but only if those kids are trans. But all that doesn't change the fact that these concerns were raised by people who didn't care one tiny bit when the kids were not trans. It didn't matter then, because the concerns are not about medicine and the science behind it and the health risks it can cause. These concerns are about gender politics, about fears of a topsy-turvy world where the nice little social groups we are trying to force people into or keep people away from are becoming open enough that people can leave or enter them at will. Hormones used in this way take us a step closer to that world and so people want to stop this at all costs.

The risk of irreversible changes won't go away because Republicans published this study. That risk will go away when people stop emphasizing how vulnerable children are and instead decide that actually funding research to make these changes easier and more reversible is worth their time and money. Similarly, any damage caused from people changing the group they belong to can't be fixed from hurting people that do this. It can only be fixed by figuring out how to let people change groups without damage occurring. I have no idea what your concerns about menopause are, but if they are medical concerns, there will be technological solutions that need to be researched and funded. That is the permanent solution to this constant bickering on this issue, it will put the arguments to rest. Same goes for all complains about social downsides. Think constructively, and you don't need to be opposed to these things and can see that they cause no harm.

Two years after being tasked with commissioning a review of medical evidence surrounding gender-affirming care for trans youth, Utah’s own state health department has concluded that trans healthcare bans “cannot be justified.” The Republicans who commissioned the study aren’t too happy about it.

Back in 2023, Utah Governor Spencer Cox signed a bill that placed an indefinite “moratorium” on doctors prescribing gender-affirming care like hormone therapy and puberty blockers to trans youth. That bill ordered the Utah Department of Health and Human Services to compile their report in order to produce recommendations for the state government on whether or not to lift the moratorium.

This week, the department delivered their long-awaited, over 1,000-page report — which is dated August 6, 2024 — to Utah lawmakers. The report’s authors found that “the consensus of the evidence supports that the treatments are effective in terms of mental health, psychosocial outcomes, and the induction of body changes consistent with the affirmed gender in pediatric GD [gender dysphoria] patients.”

The authors added that “the evidence also supports that the treatments are safe in terms of changes to bone density, cardiovascular risk factors, metabolic changes, and cancer.” Trans youth who had received gender-affirming care were within the bounds of normal, non-pathological ranges for these conditions.

y’all this is huge. please don’t “water is wet” all over it! I understand that we all already know this… The point is that the world doesn’t know or care or believe and so these studies really fucking matter!

[xclowniex]

Didn't want to post this ask i got as it was just a bunch of brainless whining, but it does reflect a bigger issue.

Something can be morally bad but under the current law, legal.

It is completely possible to talk about how both hospitals in Gaza and Israel being attacked is morally bad, whilst also correcting misinformation about international law.

Hospitals are considered a protected area. When you use a hospital for military purposes, it now no longer is a protected area, and is now under international law, able to be attacked without it being a war crime. Any civilians killed, the onus falls onto the military who used the hospital for military purposes, not the military who attacked them. The only caveat is that excessive force cannot be used to attack said hospital. If excessive force is used, then both militaries take some blame.

Do I think Israel has never used excessive force? No, they have. I have said many times that Israel has committed war crimes.

Me speaking matter of factly about international law, does not mean I personally think any hospital hamas uses for military purposes should be bombed. I am a big proponent of targeted military operations which only harms militants in hospitals and doesn't destroy the hospital itself.

Me talking about what counts as what under international law does not mean I morally agree with something. By that logic, every public defender is an absolute monster considering some of the cases they have to defend because it's their job to do so.

I am not going to suddenly act like international law isn't international law just because I dislike hospitals being bombed. That is just childish and silly.

Whether or not international law should be changed or not is a whole different discussion you can have, without denying what current international law is.

[mullermilkshake]

Just a donor - Sakura blossoms in April

Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3

Satoru's delusions are just the tip of the iceberg.

Sperm donor!Satoru Gojo x Fem New mom!reader x Suguru Geto Tags - Breastfeeding, Emotional abuse, Manipulation, Coercion, mentions of mark making

<<< For more Satoru content, click this link to go back to the Masterlist! >>>

<<< Mood board >>>

“Are ya comin’ out or do I need to come in there?” 

Nothing. You said nothing. Weighing up your options until Suguru came back seemed like the best choice, however, this ‘evidence’ Satoru had brought bile to the back of your throat.

Panicked, a word you used rarely, became your new title. Your engorged breasts were starting to sore, pressured by your milk you had to express. Your daughter was a hungry baby, but not hungry enough to drink enough to take the pressure away until your husband returned.

Shit. 

“Because I’ll get in there…” Satoru continued, banging what sounded like the phone on the door. A plastic knocking to mock you. “I wouldn’t want to traumatise my lil girl though. I don’t want her being scared of her daddy.” 

You weren’t going to fall for that innocent sentiment in his words, in his tone of voice like he was starting to see reason, you weren’t that foolish.

“You’ll need to pump soon, right? I saw it downstairs, did you know it’s bad for you not to while you’re breastfeeding, so much can go wrong and I heard mastitis is painful enough to need antibiotics in some cases, I’d hate to have that whilst also holding a crying baby. And if your milk stops, how are you going to feed her?” 

The annoying truth was that he was right. Though it wouldn’t happen right away, not in the time Suguru was gone for. Just another ploy to play on your conscience.

You watched your sleeping daughter, noticing her stir and breathed sharply to catch up and smack her lips so adorably next to the pink crib number.

She was so beautiful.

You called your daughter Sakura for one simple reason, because of the Sakura blossoms overhanging the window as you gave birth. Your favourite flower, their colour seemed perfect to paint her nursery and they were absolute perfection for the little time they spent blooming in Tokyo.

And your daughter was exactly that. Perfect.

How the fuck are we in this mess? 

Picking your daughter up, you should have felt shame waking her up, but you didn’t. She was due her feed and overslept, her sleepy eyes still shut, screwed together whilst yawning and stretching to the best of her ability swaddled in her blanket.

"Shh, shh, sorry baby."

“So you’re gonna ignore me now too?” Yes, you were going to ignore him.

Laying her on the bed, you released her from the confines of the pretty pink, knitted swaddle and sat down in the bed with her. If you swapped halfway through she could take the edge off of the milk pressure instead of pumping at the same time.

Teasing her cheek with your finger, she opened her mouth as well as her eyes and latched in without issue. Then came silence, ear splitting silence that should have eased your soul, but it didn’t. You knew Satoru was up to something and couldn’t catch on to what.

Then you did.

How could you have forgotten the open window? Not open by much, but Satoru yanked it by standing on the back porch roof.

Shit, shit, how the fuck could you have been so careless? Your body froze, mouth wide open at his perseverance.

“Get the fuck out-“

“You seriously made me climb through a window to get you to talk to me?”

You could tell he was pissed by the calmness in his voice though laced with a spiteful edge, his eyes flitting from you to your daughter like he was conscious of making a scene big enough to scare her.

“Though I suppose this might be even better. You and me in the bedroom with the door locked. Not sure how you could explain this one away.”

How could you admit that he was right? You wouldn’t ever . But he was. “Suguru won’t believe this, he has a little more trust in me than you think… Sakura is still his daughter, I’m his wife. Give me a little recognition at least.”

You didn’t have the confidence behind your words and Satoru knew that.

“Y’know, I almost went through with tryin’ to convince him not to marry you that day, did you know that?”

Obviously not. Though it still pumped adrenaline from your heart around your body anyway. Like you were guilty of something, or that on the off chance that Suguru might have listened.

“I had this big thing planned, to split you two up. And then Suguru mentioned how you and he were struggling to have a baby… then everything changed.”

You did nothing.

Satoru carried on, sitting down on the bed like he owned it. “I thought, if he left you at the altar, there was no guarantee that you’d see reason and come to me, you had no obligation to… but a baby, well, when a baby is involved, those two people that made the baby are tied together for at least eighteen years. It was the best I could have hoped for.”

The way he looked at you, that cockiness. You wouldn’t forget it for the rest of your life. “It’s permanent.”

“You and Suguru jumped at the opportunity, despite pretending to think it over. You two were so easy to manipulate I almost felt bad."

“So…” You tried to wrap your head around it, adjusting Sakura’s position after she unlatched. “You had this all planned even before you suggested donation? We were married two years before that. Satoru-what the fuck have you done?”

“Now, now, we shouldn’t swear in front of our daughter, what would she think of her mom’s filthy mouth?”

It was sexual, that last bit, the undertones sticking to your throat like an illness. Satoru Gojo wasn’t a virus though, nor bacteria. He was a parasite, latching to you and draining every bit of good you ever had in your life.

“Where are you going?”

You froze, barely moving an inch. “I’m getting up, I need to pee.”

The best excuse you could think of.

“Give her to me, then you can go.”

Gathering some confidence, you stood up with her and came around the bed towards the door. “She’s feeding, if I unlatch her now she’ll scream the place down. I’m taking her with me.”

You walked past him but studied everything from the corner of your eye, like prey anticipating an attack from the side. It never came, he sat there and waited for the lock click of the door and then made his move.

“Give her to me.”

“No.”

“I wanna spend as much time as I can with my daughter seeing as you were so adamant that I wasn’t ever gonna see her again.”

More like, give me your daughter so you can’t run for help because I know you won’t leave without her. 

A stalemate.

Like hell were you letting her out of your sight in Satoru’s arms.

“No. If you want her that bad, you’ll have to pry her from my cold, dead arms.” Stepping away from him and facing the window gave you power. “Suguru is going to see what type of person you are, you know that, right?”

It never stopped every alarm bell in your gut screaming at you to turn around and keep your eyes in him at all times. But as a man who turned to doing the most unsettling things to have access to a baby he just happened to be related to, you took a chance that he wouldn’t hurt you or act impulsively at least until Sakura was sleeping back in her crib.

His deafening and deranged silence confirmed your theory.

“Y’think I’d hurt you?”

You didn’t dignify him with a response. The bastard dragged you down the stairs not ten minutes ago, of course he had the potential. It was the power dynamic that churned your stomach.

He could absolutely obliterate you if he wanted.

“Yes.”

Turning, you saw a hurt expression on his face, eyebrows dipped in hurt. He had sat back down on the bed, knees spread wide as he leant on them, presumably for support but that would have been a well calculated ruse. He’d planned everything else to the letter so far, worming his way in from being the friend of the family, to the legal father of your daughter on paper.

He’d arranged everything. Why was he looking so unsettled now?

“Baby, I wouldn’t ever hurt you. I want to have this family with you, have more family with you. Look how beautiful our baby girl is, you can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about another one.”

No, you had not thought about having another fucking baby. Sakura was six weeks old, you were barely cleared to have sex again to which you had no desire for just yet. The option of another baby sat right down the bottom of your non-existent list, to be forgotten about until years down the line once you’d wrapped your head around the baby you and Suguru were currently struggling with.

“I can give you that without the tubes and the uncomfortable waiting around until you ovulate and sitting on that cold table while they put my come inside of you. We can just cut the middle man out, I know you’ll enjoy it…” His expression darkened with disdain. “Suguru can’t. I don’t see how that isn’t a no brainer for you.”

You gave yourself privacy and unlatched your daughter, swapping her over to your other breast. Her lidded eyes looked up into space, getting milk drunk and embracing the comfort of food and your body warmth. 

“Someone’s worth isn’t weighed out by their fertility, or their ability to produce children, Satoru. I value Suguru because he is kind, he makes me feel so special-“

“I can do that, you just have to give me a chance-“

“I don’t want to!” All you could do was whisper-shout at him to get him to back off. “All I wanted was a happy and calm life, and you’re ruining it! I was happy you being in Sakura’s life as her uncle and nothing more. We agreed that was the best way forward. We knew at some point in her life that she’ll work it out eventually just by your hair, but that is something we’ll deal with then and not now!” 

Now, he said nothing.

You took your opportunity to carry on. “What you did for us is something me and Suguru will never fully be able to repay, but I think we’ve let you in enough to say thank you. So all I want is for you to leave us alone- I’ll even let you come and see her now and then under supervision if you leave now and clear up the mess you left behind, and sort out the birth certificate… but if you don’t… I’m going to burn your world.” 

That was a new mother's guarantee.

Having a baby set off chemical triggers in your own brain, that you’d fight tooth and nail for your baby girl despite your exhaustion and ensure no one was left to break any pieces of her life. And if push came to shove, you’d fight the man in front of you and go down doing it. You had no way of winning, but hoped that there was some ‘new mother adrenaline’ or something to help you along.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere, that is non negotiable. But I think it’s time to stop fucking around now and make your choice. Tick tock, tick tock.” 

“I’m not-“

“I fucking love you- are you so blind that you never saw that?”

“No you don’t-“

“I do. I stayed and watched you the entire time when Sakura was born, because there was no way that I’d miss my daughter's birth. Do you know how agonising it was not being able to go in there and hold your hand, but a man who isn't even related got to?” He got up and paced like a wild animal.

“To comfort you and place a cool flannel on your head, or-or being there when you named her and held her for the first time? I had to watch it all through a little window and you didn’t even care.”

What the fuck? He was there the entire time?

How on earth could you approach this? “Satoru-“

“I hovered by that hospital door, wracking my brain, worried for your health and I couldn’t do anything to help. It was like crawling through glass hoping none of it embeds itself into my skin. Making marks on my body and hoping it wouldn’t scar- but I’d let you scar me.”

Where had this sudden desperation come from? You weren’t certain, but you were not going to fold to it either. If Satoru was having issues coming to terms with such things, he needed professional help.

“Satoru, listen to yourself-“

“I am, for the first time my mind is clear.” He stepped towards you a little too enthusiastically, there was nowhere for you to move away. “I love you and my mind is clear. Suguru has to go so we be together, you just need to take that chance.”

“I will not.”

And then came the dreaded sound, clear as day and Satoru heard it too.

“I’m home!” Suguru’s weary yet distinct voice called from the closing front door.

Satoru was much closer now and took advantage of the distraction. “Oh, I guess your time is up. You wanna take a chance and see if your dear husband will believe you over me? Or do you want this all to go away? You just have to let me in.”

Endure what was to come, or lie about it for no reason what so ever.

Nope. A no brainer. You were doubling down.

Fuck Satoru Gojo.

And fuck all of the lies he was going to tell.

Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3

If you would like to be tagged, please let me know! 🤗

Tag list - @ryomenslvr @ilovebattinson @ilyannailyanna @charlenexoxo1 @satorupied

DISCLAIMER - Crossposted from my AO3 - I do not own any of the characters or anything from the anime. This is a work of fan fiction and is absolutely not representative of the views or intentions of the original creator(s).

Also please don’t post any of my work without permission thank you!

[wheneverfeasible]

So this is something I’ve been think about for a while and it’s just been sitting unfinished in my drafts but…

What if, after the events of season one, Barb’s disappearance was considered much more suspicious by the townsfolk? After all, she was last seen at the Harringtons’ and that’s where her car was found still. The Harrington name was a popular one, and Mrs. Harrington was well loved in town. But still…it’s an open secret what their son gets up to when they go away.

Barb was last seen in the company of Steve Harrington, and though the cops haven’t indicted the boy with anything, rumors are a nasty thing. Pretty soon, whispers about the youngest Harrington start passing through town. Maybe it starts in the school, maybe it starts by nosy neighbors. In any case, people start giving Steve the side eye.

Maybe people start treating him differently. Some with disgust, some with fear. Maybe Tommy and Carol start distancing themselves from him long before Billy shows up because they don’t want to be dragged down with him. Maybe by the end of his junior year, Steve has been ostracized by his classmates.

And he tries, right? At least at first. He tries to pretend everything is normal, that the rumors and reactions of others don’t upset him. But maybe even Nancy is having a problem with it all. All the reminders of Barb, Steve just trying to ignore everything, and everyone asking her why she’s still with her best friend’s killer.

And maybe part of her does blame him, just as she blames herself, and his not trying to prove he’s innocent is just too much for her. Maybe she doesn’t fully break up with him yet, but she’s definitely pulling away, unable to deal with the painful memories. Or maybe she does break up with him, which only sparks the rumors about him more. Steve, hurt and depressed even though he tried to pretend otherwise, falls even deeper.

By senior year, he’s an outcast. The town treats him like a killer, he has no friends, and his parents would rather take an extended vacation than deal with the issues in the town. After all, everyone is on their side and sympathizing with them, so it’s not like their name is being tarnished. So Steve is all alone. An outcast. A loner. A loser. A freak.

Maybe Steve is fully in depression mode, maybe he’s grown a little prickly and jaded. First day of school, maybe someone spray paints his locker, or his car. He’s had to drop out of all sports, his already mediocre grades plummeting further.

Nancy isn’t cruel. She and Jonathan try to do damage control, try to help, try to explain that Steve is innocent, but it also just makes Nancy want to get to the bottom of it all more. She gets distracted by that, like a bloodhound with a scent, and Steve is just trying to survive his last year of high school.

Except Barb wasn’t the best friend of just Nancy.

Robin Buckley doesn’t trust Steve. She’s been devouring all sorts of true crime articles, knowing that Ted Bundy hadn’t been suspicious either, was considered attractive by many too (she didn’t get it, even without being a lesbian), so she could see how easily Steve could do what they said he did.

So maybe she starts observing Steve, following Steve. Sure, she and Barb had gone different ways, but she still loved her former friend. If she could catch her murderer before he strikes again…

And then there’s Eddie. Eddie who has been watching and listening since he returned for his second senior year. He gloated at the downfall of Hawkins Golden Child at first, but even he could admit things didn’t add up. And…well, what was he supposed to do? He was Freak King after all.

Maybe it (quietly) gets out that Eddie has started selling drugs. Maybe Steve goes for some weed, something to take the edge off. Maybe Eddie is a little worried, but he agrees to meet with him. Maybe they get to talking. Maybe Eddie offers some advice, from one freak to another. Maybe Steve isn’t as bad as he always assumed he would be.

Maybe Steve starts sitting with Eddie and the Hellfire boys at lunch. The town always hated him, so why not? Not like he had popularity to lose, his reputation already in shambles. It would be nice not to have to hide in his car during lunch.

Billy is still an ass when he comes to town.

He heard about Steve, the once Top Dog at Hawkins High, and immediately does what everyone does to establish rank: squares up. Except Steve isn’t alone anymore. This time, Steve has someone in his corner who won’t back down when one of his little sheepies needs help.

And maybe Steve repays the favor by acting as Eddie’s guard dog during his deals, a tight smirk behind dark sunglasses as hands grip a bat with nails in it.

Nancy isn’t entirely enthused with Steve leaning into the rumors of being dangerous, of hanging out with a known drug dealer, and maybe they have a row about it. Maybe Steve accuses Nancy of never having actually loved him, pointed out how quickly she moved on to Jonathan, and that Eddie was the one who stuck by his side and not her.

And of course afterwards he feels back, even though he probably shouldn’t. But he still wants to apologize. So he still goes to Nancy’s to do so, and Dustin still grabs him for help with D’Artagnan, and things continue much the same there…except.

Except Robin still doesn’t trust Steve. Still finds something suspicious. Still been following Steve secretly. And him hanging out with a bunch of kids? Definitely suspicious.

Of course, things start making a little more sense when she follows them on her bike to the junkyard and is almost eaten by a weird dog-like creature with a flesh flower full of teeth for a head. The only thing that saves her?

Steve Harrington and his nail bat.

Things continue on pretty much the same after that. Except Robin is there with Steve and the kids when Billy shows up and she tries to help Steve but gets backhanded and called a dyke by Billy, and Steve goes down and then Billy too. Max still drives to the tunnels and all that.

But after, Robin’s eyes are wet and she asks Steve, flinching slightly when his grip on the nail bat tightens, what about if Billy was right about her. Steve looks at this girl who was drawn into hell because of remembered love and loyalty for a childhood friend and knows that it doesn’t matter if she likes boobies or not, what matters is if she’s okay.

They’re inseparable after that. And maybe Steve starts questioning things about himself too, about why he likes hanging out with Eddie so much, but now’s not the time to bring it up.

Eddie definitely gets drawn in early too, of course, but I’m thinking not until S3. After the truth of the lab being linked to Barb’s death, public opinion of Steve gets slightly better. But only slightly, because he’s already crafted a new reputation for himself, and some people don’t fully accept that he wasn’t to blame at least in part.

So people stop accusing him of being a murderer, but they don’t entirely trust him.

His mom pulls some strings though and he and Robin still work at Scoops, except they’re already besties by this point. And maybe Eddie (and maybe occasionally the rest of Hellfire) come hang around a bunch too.

And maybe, after the Russian torture,the bathroom confession isn’t about Robin’s love life, but about Steve’s.

And Eddie isn’t there with the Russians but he gets dragged in because he and Steve and Robin had plans to meet up after their shift and they never arrived. So he goes to the mall to see what’s up.

Maybe he overhears Steve confessing. Maybe he only heard part of it (maybe just the end part where Steve talks about how Jonathan had been part of his bi awakening and thinks Steve has a crush on Jonathan instead) but he’s there now and now it’s his turn for a crash course in Upside Down 101 while running from Russians and having cars thrown telepathically around.

Does any of this change Billy’s fate? Probably not. I think Billy’s death, and the mall fire in general, might be enough to stir up old rumors about Steve again. Not quite to the same extent, but people are wary of what they’re being told.

And then, idk, S4 happens and besides Robin pining over Vickie, Steve is also pining over Eddie, and they’re both useless about their crushes.

But then Chrissy dies, and maybe Steve was finally going to take his own advice after that terrible date with Brenda, but when he shows up Eddie is already gone and he has a dead cheerleader on his hands.

And fuck. This isn’t going to help the rumors at all.

Aaaaand that’s all I’ve got. This was honestly longer than expected because it was originally just gonna be me going “lol what if people suspected Steve of Barb’s murder and they treated him like how fans write the town treating Eddie post-S4 and Eddie taking him in” and then it became me trying to figure out how that’d work out for the plot.

But yeah. Barb really was last seen at Steve’s so like…it would make sense for him to be a suspect. And it takes basically a full year for the truth to come out, so…yeah. Just a thought I had several weeks that would not stop churning in my head.

Tagging my permanent list, my Hostage Hotties:

@derythcorvinus @katyawriteswhump @scoops-aboy86 @dotdot-weirdlife @everywherenothere @bumblebeecuttlefishes @hiei-harringtonmunson @estrellami-1 @nebulaoz @renfrisol @tinyplanet95 @hairspraywhore

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Switch 2 Health Issues:

6-21-25 by Mitch Roydpraim IV

Many remember the early issues plaguing the first Switch console from Nintendo, it looks like the new Switch 2 may have problems of its own.

"It looks like the glue used in construction of some Switch 2 consoles may have been contaminated, and may cause the casing screws to scritch up easily if the console is held for a long period of time. This glue defect includes all of the limited edition white, pink, and blue consoles. Thus anyone with a white, pink, or blue Switch 2 whose glue scritched through should ditch their Switch 2 to the Switch 2 glue Snitch program offered by Nintendu, I mean Nintendo."

Still, many customers are hanging onto their Switches. According to a spokesman for Florence Pugh, who in addition to acting is an activist for game console quality, "Pugh's new blue Switch 2's glue scritched through two screws, which few Switch 2 hues do."

Asked what she planned to do, Pugh explained, "I'll sue."

[plaguewormart]

How much do yall wanna bet that Vincent keeps falling asleep in random spots and situations??

Vincent has lived more than half of his life in active war zones. He has learned to sleep in uncomfortable places, in loud spaces, surrounded by others. He can fall asleep anywhere as long as he feels safe enough, normally whenever surrounded by people he can trust would wake him if something happens.

It begins quite unremarkable. The pope falling asleep on the couch in his apartment while having tea with Thomas. Vincent dozing off during long car rides or flights. A guard nervously shaking a sleeping Vincent awake after watching him fall asleep next to the turtle pond.

The events are shrugged off. No one can expect the new pope to be energetic constantly, especially after long days spent working without breaks.

But as the months pass and Vincent starts getting even closer to his staff, his body starts betraying him. After a night full of nightmares, Vincent falls asleep at breakfast, in front of everyone in the Santa Martha dining hall. No one mentions it, but the concerned looks he gets make him blush in embarrassment.

After a particularly tough week, the Holy Father dozes off in the middle of a meeting. He awakes to six pair of eyes staring at him. Aldo reschedules the rest of the meeting and sends Vincent to bed, where he lays awake until dinner.

Aldo and Thomas bully Vincent into seeing a doctor. They think the pope might have some kind of medical issue. Vincent reluctantly agrees to the appointment. The doctor finds nothing that can cause the fatigue, but he does note down a suspicion of PTSD and chronic pain in Vincent’s medical records.

Vincent starts finding ways to keep himself awake. He finds that copious amounts of coffee help a bit, and so does the pain of digging his fingernails into his skin whenever he notices his eyelids getting heavier.

None of them realize what is actually happening until over a year later.

Vincent gets sick. It’s nothing serious, a case of the flu that’s been going around the Vatican. He’s ordered to rest, and sent to bed.

The fever makes him confused, and he’s not sure exactly where he is. He does know, however, that it’s not safe to sleep. He’s alone, and that’s dangerous.

Thomas comes to check on him, and finds the Holy Father curled up in a corner. His feverish eyes scanning the room for threats. Luckily, some part of Vincent seems to recognize Thomas as a friend.

After showing Vincent that there’s no threats in the apartment - by opening the closets and looking under the bed, as if calming a scared child - Vincent finally agrees to return to bed.

Once the pope is tucked in, Thomas starts to make his way to the door, but Vincent grabs his arm.

Thomas is confused at first, but what the Holy Father tells him next makes him understand the past year for the first time.

“Don’t go alone, it’s not safe.”

Thomas spends the night on a chair next to Vincent’s bed, and Vincent sleeps through the night for the first time since he left his flock.

[aetherstorms]

Amon smirked at her and tucked his hand under his chin briefly. "Oh no need to be so offended! I've been owned by someone since the day I was born in my mortal life. Emperor Xande was simply the Master I'd chosen and what a glorious time it was indeed." He sighed wistfully before he shook his head with a rueful smile. "Ah, but that is over. You slayed him quite handily. My clone simply wasn't strong enough to stand against you, sliver of my soul as he was and weakened from a long hibernation besides. No hard feelings when he craved his end regardless."

His gaze shifted to Themis, who was just sitting quietly, listening and watching with polite attentiveness. "I know I don't have to go anywhere." He said, addressing Amara even though his attention remained on Themis, who arched a brow at him. "But I heard mention of Emet-Selch, and if there's a chance he's going to be here, I'd rather not be."

Themis lifted a hand in a shrug and smiled slightly, even that small shift warming his expression in a way that for some reason made Amon wrinkle his nose. "Well when I mentioned him it was simply stating that he knows far more about the nature of souls than I do, but maybe you would benefit from listening to a lecture. You're having some issues of your own, aren't you?"

Amon's lip curled slightly. "Yesss....and he would likely want to draw out the whimpering idiot than put him back to sleep. Ardor or not, Hermes is the easier one to deal with no doubt."

"It isn't his problem. He doesn't live here." Themis replied. His gaze shifted to Amara. "She seems to like you well enough," His gaze returned to Amon. "and I have no issue with you at present either. You have been long wounded, so give yourself a chance to heal. Maybe the discord in your soul will settle, but if it does not, Emet-Selch might be able to help you." He put a hand to his chest. "I will help you convince him if it comes to that, as I am sure will Amara. Worry not."

Amon pursed his lips and picked up his utensils to start eating without answering, though Themis seemed satisfied with this and picked up his own to follow his lead, though cautiously in case it was too spicy.

“Your paths happened to intersect, I believe.” Themis replied. “But then, perhaps not. His movements were often an enigma to me unless I put forth effort in finding him.” He smiled ruefully. “Schemes? Regarding you I had quite markedly different ones than Emet-Selch did. Azem….was considered a traitor, after all. We were supposed to leave them behind. The crystal you bore, that summoned Emet-Selch to assist you in your hour of need, should not exist.” A pause. “But I am glad that it does….or we would not be speaking now, and I would….well, I cannot rightfully say how things might have unfolded from there.”

He brought up a finger to lightly press to her forehead. “I am not the one who understands the nature of souls. Emet-Selch could better answer just what has become of him within you. That….is where I erred, possessing a body belonging to a fragment of you.” He chuckled and dropped his hand, but then became somewhat more serious and shook his head.

“There is nothing to aplogize for. We were enemies, we fought. It had to be done. All of it. You freed us….befriended us.” He motioned toward Amon.

“Bah!” Amon replied. “Is befriending what we’re calling this?” He flicked a hand. “Oh, I suppose. I’ve allowed myself to be tamed for the moment. I’ve always done well with benevolent masters…and no, of course I didn’t make it easy! How could I possibly? I was having far too much fun!” He tilted his head toward her. “I won’t turn down this Echo show, though. I do so like how much control you have over it. Quite impressive, I’d have to say. Quite possibly on the level of the ancients, wouldn’t you say, Elidibus?”

Themis gave him an unimpressed look. “…..I wouldn’t go quite that far….but impressive control nonetheless.” He stood to follow Amara over to the table to sit.

“Purist.” Amon rolled his eyes and sat once they had, then gave a gusty sigh. “Yes. I do need to clean up Azys Lla. Perhaps I’ll get started on that promptly after the meal. Give you two some….privacy.” He flicked his hand at Themis. “Let me have some fresh air that isn’t sunbaked….hm….”

[ponett]

If I may ask, does any of the characters in SLARPG have neurodivergence or is it more coded? Because your girl melody is like one giant call out to how I respond to things and if not I at least thank you for making characters me, a trans crt tv loving autistic woman can enjoy

Also happy pride!🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈💕

I've talked about this a bit before, but the short version is that yes, there are neurodivergent characters all over the game. Melody obviously has some sort of anxiety disorder and who knows what else. Allison definitely has ADHD. The list goes on and on.

The thing about whether or not any of the characters are autistic is that many of my characters, the Novas in particular, draw pretty heavily from aspects of my life experiences and my personality. And I don't actually know if I'm autistic. I go back and forth on it a lot. These days I lean towards thinking that I probably am, because I look at my autistic friends describing their experiences and think that it sounds just like me. But then other peoples' experiences and descriptions of autism don't sound anything like what I deal with, so I'll doubt myself. But I guess that's why it's a spectrum. The problem is I never got any sort of diagnosis growing up. I was just assumed to be a shy nerd who was a picky eater. And now as an adult, with everything going on in the world and the demonization of autism and RFK talking about making an autism registry and whatnot, I frankly just don't want an official diagnosis on record. So I may never truly know. But also I'm a socially anxious weirdo with food issues who runs a Sonic the Hedgehog lore blog, so, y'know. I'm not oblivious to the high likelihood that I'm probably on the spectrum.

Anyway, to bring it back around to the actual question: because so many of the characters have so much of me in them, and because I may or may not be autistic, it's incredibly easy to make the case that many of my characters are autistic. It just naturally comes out in my writing. I thought about this with the Novas, who I think all kind of come off as autistic in one aspect or another, though it also came up in ways I didn't expect. A while back someone specifically asked me if Zinnia was supposed to be autistic, which hadn't even occurred to me when I was writing her, but I definitely see it.

Though at the end of the day, regardless of which characters I have or haven't officially diagnosed, if their stories speak to your experience then that's what really matters.

[sepublic]

After this episode I don’t think you can really blame Ragatha for being a people pleaser when twice she tries to be better than that and everyone just judges her for it like. At that point the problem really is everyone else. Jax derides Ragatha for not being honest about her frustration but when she is he still derides her anyhow. And if she isn’t being treated any differently why should Ragatha care about what others are saying???

Likewise it’s annoying seeing people infantilize Jax’s shitty behavior because OH he’s trapped in the circus and someone he knew got abstracted like. Bitch he’s not special so did everyone else. Zooble is also off-putting and negative but she makes a point to mind her own business and is nice even when the other person hadn’t initiated it towards her first.

Jax is going out of his way to be a gleefully malicious asshole, incessantly. And then has the gall to be offended at Ragatha for accidentally bringing up his issues, and is only nice when someone is nice to him. But in the end his lack of friends is 100% his fault. People have a right to be upset with him! Why is the onus on everyone to be patient with Jax, and not Jax to have basic restraint for once??? He talks such hot shit but can’t even take a single hit.

And like I love Pomni but the third episode already made a point that she DID make Ragatha feel excluded, it was a thing she apologized for, and Kinger’s framing puts Pomni’s neglect as the worst thing anyone could do; Not Ragatha being a bit overbearing.

So with that in mind it’s not out of the question to say that Pomni is doing the same for Ragatha. I’m not saying she’s maliciously, intentionally choosing Jax over Ragatha. But if Ragatha is considered by the fandom to still be responsible for how she makes others feel regardless of intent, doesn’t the same apply to Pomni?

Again she’s frustrated with Ragatha for infantilizing her but in the end she (or at least the narrative) kinda infantilizes Jax with her willingness to be more sympathetic and friendly because he’s actually just sad and lonely inside and doesn’t know better. Rather than being a grown-ass man people have made explicit to him that they’ve been upset by.

She’s put off by Ragatha coming across as being dishonest due to her fear of upsetting people, but instead of being up front to Ragatha about wanting to get through to Jax and needing someone to give her time to do so, Pomni lies about doing this for Ragatha, to give Ragatha a chance to redeem herself; Presumably because she’s afraid of upsetting Ragatha. Meaning she knows how this comes across and still does it.

I’ve seen some argue that it’s the other way around but I dunno. In the end Pomni doesn’t spare a passing glance to Ragatha afterwards or even remember to invite her. And it’s a flaw we’ve seen before so it’s not out of the question that it’s her same flaw at the root of this scene, and not just Ragatha’s insecurity making her perceive it that way.

Pomni admits that she wasn’t there for Ragatha but in the end she’s not really trying to stand up for Ragatha when Jax continues to both be an asshole and act as if Ragatha is the one who crossed a line. Maybe her goal is to talk Jax into being nice enough to apologize to Ragatha himself but given she lied to Ragatha about her intentions it feels almost a little knowingly insincere.

Sorry not sorry but fandom has always been way too forgiving towards male characters for being utterly terrible, while giving female characters so much flak for being even a bit flawed. The fact that people can even feel sorry for Jax’s “trauma” as if he isn’t constantly verbally abusing everyone around him is ridiculous. While they act as if Ragatha’s loneliness is a proportional consequence to being a bit needy; Like her efforts to be kind are just so inherently purely evil and hurtful. Jax and Ragatha are both traumatized but in Ragatha’s case she’s at least trying to avoid being an asshole about it and I just don’t buy the excuse that Jax has a “different coping method” like that’s what every shitty abusive man has said.

It’s absurd that everyone is talking hot shit about how Jax needs kindness when he’s the one who should be told that others need kindness. It’s absurd how people saw Kinger describe what Pomni did to Ragatha as Pomni explicitly makes it clear to us that Ragatha is the one being left out. And yet people will say Jax is the poor baby feeling left out as if his constant harassment isn’t what’s making people feel isolated. Gooseworx has even said that Jax deserves to be in the circus the most out of anyone. Like technically it shouldn’t happen to anyone but I’m gonna be real here sometimes there are basic consequences to one’s intentional actions. There comes a point where people do not fucking owe you shit!!!

[kedreeva]

I saw both of the Oceangate Titan sub documentaries really recently.

I think "Implosion: The Titanic Sub Disaster" is better - as a documentary - than the Netflix one, but they're both worth watching and both have SO MANY red flags and so many cases of the founder doing things that were just gratuitously unsafe.

There were enough different unsafe practices happening and former employees who tried to warn people that there's not even a ton of overlap between the two - there were enough bad choices for multiple different documentaries.

I (half) listened to the netflix one since that's what I had access to today, and man. They were not kidding about there being so much stuff wrong. I think the part that got me the most was the youtuber who was supposed to have been on that dive and missed it because the weather was bad the first time they went out. That guy is clearly having some coping issues afterward with how close he came to death.

[twocubes]

? i marked when xi jinping came into power in these (us is in there for scale (sorry for the confusing colors)):

(for the gini index, higher means more unequal economic distribution)

in the 19th national congress in 2017, xi announced that they'd decided that the primary contradiction that china was facing was no longer "the ever-growing material and cultural needs of the people versus backward social production" (i.e. we need to grow at all costs) which it had been since deng in 1981, but was now instead "between unbalanced and inadequate development and the people's ever-growing needs for a better life." (i.e. our development has not been adequately shared and needs to be evened out)

like, going by stated intent and by evident results, china has not been pursuing growth as strongly since xi came into power. this isnt a degrowth thing as much as like. a refocusing of priorities.

as far as reasons why this decision was made, my understanding is that at least two of them were

the 2008 financial crisis suggested that china could no longer responsibly rely entirely on demand from external markets; evening out development implies growing the size of china's internal market and thus allows china to rely more on its own internal market instead

the uyghur unrest around that time (and before) was seen as demonstrating how uneven inclusion in the country's economic progress among the poorer parts of china could lead to vulnerability to external political interference (in this case foreign sponsorship of "east turkestan" separatism); going out of their way to make programs to further the economic development in and economic integration of poor parts of the country was seen as a way to reduce unrest (that's some of the carrot part of the handling of this issue, the stick part you know already i'm sure)

my understanding is that xi has been more focused on political stability rather than growth. growth is a component of that but is not so total a focus.

it's still really impressive to me that china just like literally intentionally blew up its housing bubble as a deliberate policy decision.

like Xi said houses are for living, not for speculation and the whole system took a huge chunk of pain in a growth sense in a way that ultimately serves to solve a problem that is extremely familiar and extremely intractable to people in the west: increasing housing unaffordability.

that was a decision that was an economic hit on basically the entire top 20% of its wealth distribution that were, much like in much of the developed world, using their house as a primary store of wealth. very brave. imo.