#and there’s a super cool mystery make along gearing up right now that looks really fun

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

I am trying so hard to save money lately, but it is so hard, especially when there are so many things that make me want to spend. the latest temptation is that I really would love to participate in a Make-Along this spring, but don’t know if I can justify spending $60+ on the yarn kit for it (especially when I already have a whole closet-full of yarn from my workplace from when we had a big inventory clear-out last year)

[miss-tc-nova]

Impatience and Motivation - Xehanort x Reader

The downside to the “Red String” AU is that it feels a bit too straight forward. Follow the string, find your soulmate, tada! Unless you have someone trying to defy their fate or write angst like my first attempt. But, I got to thinking about it and chruned this baby out super fast, so it’s kinda messy, but it was fun. So here’s terrible take 2 of the Red String AU with Xehanort. 

~~~~~

              “Alright, look you, just tell me where you were when the tarts disappeared and I won’t call in my baking partner.”

              The boy with slate colored hair gives an awkward smile. “I was with you, remember? We were working on the history homework the Master gave us.”

              My shoulders drop. “Oh yeah. Okay, you’re clear. You can go. Eraqus!”

              From the table where he and Urd sit, the boy looks visibly nervous; as the most likely suspect, he should be. I wave a finger at him to come closer.

              Just as the anxious kid stands to take his turn in interrogation, the classroom door slams open. Vor bursts into the room.

              “OKAY! I DID IT!” Eraqus shouts, no doubt in fear of what my “partner,” Vor, would do to him. “I couldn’t help it! They were just so good!”

              “I KNEW IT!” I shout, preparing to pounce on the criminal.

              “What’s wrong?”

              Urd’s question tears my attention back to Vor, who’s heaving as if she’d run up here all the way from the docks.

              “Th…The docks,” she gasps.

              Oh, apparently she did.

              “There was a stranger at the docks.”

              “What’s wrong with that?” Hermod asks. “Everyone goes to the docks.”

              She shakes her head, still trying to catch her breath before pointing to the roof. “He fell from the sky!”

              “What?!” I exclaim.

              “No way! Let’s go see!”

              I’m almost one hundred percent certain that this is Eraqus’s excuse to escape his punishment, but I admit that I, too, am curious about the stranger from the sky.

              We nearly leave poor Vor behind in the rush to get to downstairs, but just as we reach the balcony overlooking the foyer, the front doors to the citadel open. The Master leads the way along with another of the school’s teachers, but behind them our classmates, Bragi and Baldr, are dragging in an unconscious boy between them.

              The gears in my brain catch on something as I watch the group pass. Silver hair hides the young man’s face but I already can’t stop staring at him.

              Right up until it catches my eye.

              Everyone in existence is born with the Red String of Fate that binds two people as soulmates. It remains invisible early in life, but reveals itself as a person reaches puberty—because teens really needed more drama to deal with. Depending on how close the soulmates are, the length of the string can change. Mine has always been the tiniest length, not even the width of the nail on my pinky finger where it sat. That kind of separation was daunting but I let myself forget about it, telling myself I’d worry about it when I had the power to travel the worlds.

              But there it is, stretching the distance to wrap around the stranger’s finger.

              My hand lifts, testing if what I was seeing was really a thread connecting us. No matter how I waved it, I couldn’t find a break in the line. It’s him—he’s my soulmate.

              “Ow!”

              My heart stammers once I realize my hand just made contact with Hermod’s face.

              “Oh, sorry!” I exclaim, watching him rub his nose. “I’m sorry!”

              “Are you okay?” Urd asks.

              Of course, other people can’t see the red string of others; they wouldn’t know—I barely know.

              “Yeah, I…I’m fine,” I say, not actually sure that I am. “I have to check something. I’ll see you guys later.”

              Before they can ask me any more questions, I race down the stairs.

              Abandoning my friends was apparently for nothing as I’ve completely lost track of the group. My string tries leading me through walls and even into a bathroom, until I finally run into Baldr and Bragi.

              “Woah, what’s the rush?” Bragi asks as I nearly bowl poor Baldr to the ground.

              “That boy,” I gasp. “Where is he?”

              Baldr makes sure I’m steady before letting me go. “He’s in the infirmary.”

              “Yeah, dude’s out cold,” Bragi adds.

              I don’t wait another second before I bolt down the hall.

              Again, all for nothing—the staff at the infirmary won’t let me see him. I can see the red line reaching past them, passing through a curtain wall, but it’s no use—no guests until he’s cleared by them which will probably take a few days.

              And what an agonizing few days those are. I can’t sleep, I can’t focus on class, I barely allow myself five minutes to eat before I’m pestering the infirmary staff and they’re quickly getting sick of me. Even my classmates have noticed my behavior, but I haven’t found the words or sense to tell them yet. I’m living in my own little world of madness that would probably dissolve if I could just meet him.

              In the student dorms, I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling, slowly driving myself insane wondering just when I’ll get to meet the mysterious boy. I’ve thought about what I’ll say or what I’d do, all the cheesy romantic things that could happen, but for the love of the gods, I just want to meet him. I don’t know what will happen after that—I haven’t thought about it; all I know is that my life will change forever with him in it.

              The red suddenly moves. Turning my attention on the string, I see it slowly moving across the room at a rate anyone in the citadel would not be capable of.

              “So yeah, that’s pretty much everything.”

              That’s Eraqus coming down the hall. That itself wouldn’t be so strange—he’s my neighbor—except he’s moving practically in time with the movement of my string.

              “And this is my room, so if you ever need anything, I’m right here.”

              It stops; they’re right outside my door.

              “Cool. Thanks.”

              The second voice, the new voice, sends my heart into overdrive. Immediately, I sit up on high alert—it’s him.

              “No problem,” Eraqus says. “Dinner’s in about an hour; wanna hang out until then?”

              “No, that’s okay. There’s something I wanna check out.”

              “Okay. Well, like I said, you know where to find me if you need something. If I can’t find it, I know people who can!”

              “Alright. Thanks.”

              I hear Era’s door open and close but the string doesn’t move. Everything is perfectly still except the heart pounding in my chest. Slowly, as if any sudden movement will wake me from such a cruel dream, I get to my feet and cross the room, just to hesitate at the door.

              “I know you’re in there.”

              I can’t tell whether his soft accusation is for me or his own affirmation, but it sends goosebumps racing across my skin.

              Taking the handle to my door, I finally get to meet the person made just for me.

              Immediately, my eyes glue to the shimmering silver that makes his gaze. I could drown in it, never to resurface and be perfectly happy.

              He’s the first to break with a whisper. “Hi.”

              “Hi.” My voice isn’t much better.

              His eyes finally drop and I follow suit. Between us is his open palm, the red string wrapped around his pinky. Lifting my hand beside his, I examine the string, short and clear between our fingers—if there were doubts before, there are none now.

              For a second time, our eyes meet.

              “I’m Xehanort,” he says, still in quiet awe. His hand turns slightly.

              “_____.” I take the gesture, resting my hand in his.

              A wave of calm washes over me as everything in the world is suddenly right, instantly soothing all the anxiety and impatience I’d been suffering these last few days.

              Without warning, he pulls me against him, arms wrapped tightly around me and his face against my shoulder.

              “Thank you.”

              I’m literally stunned silent.

              “I never would’ve gotten off that hellhole island if it weren’t for you.” The crack in his voice breaks my heart. “You’re the reason I kept going.”

              “Xehanort,” I murmur, resting a hand in his hair.

              He pulls away, straightening up and smiling despite his tears. “Sorry. I’m okay. I’m just…relieved I guess.”

              Offering a smile, I brush away a stray tear. “Things are gonna get better, I promise.”

              He leans into my palm, looking entirely at peace. “Yeah, okay.”

              Trying to lighten things up, I squish his cheeks between my hands. “Now did Eraqus actually show you around, or did he just walk straight here?”

              Gods, that laugh would let me die happy right now.

              He pulls away. “I’m not even sure how I got here.”

              “I thought so. That boy is gonna owe me more than tarts now.”

              “What?”

              “You’ll see.”

[ace-trainer-risu]

oh here! i’ll come ask you for book recs lol. do you have any spooky and/or autumn-y book recs? or just your fave books :)

First of all, I'm sorry this took me SO long to answer. I want to say I've been busy but it's just been general [waves hand vaguely] life.

ANYWAY thank you for asking! I actually don't read scary stuff a lot b/c I'm a wimp, but I have a few spooky/autumnal books up my sleeves! Let's see what we've got!!

1) The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters

Let me just start by saying that Sarah Waters is one of my absolute favorite authors ever! All her novels are suspenseful, twisty historical novels with great female and queer characters. Although, fair warning, actually The Little Stranger is like her one novel that isn't queer, but it is VERY good. If you read The Little Stranger and like it, please read Fingersmith and/or The Paying Guests.

The Little Stranger is set in the countryside of post-WWII England and follows a mild-mannered doctor as he becomes increasingly involved in the lives of the family living in the local, increasingly decrepit, possibly haunted mansion. Think Downton Abbey but creepy. Strange things keep happening inside the house, from dog bites to mysterious sounds to creepy black spots. Literally just typing that gave me goosebumps. It seems like someone may be out to get the family, but who...or what? Is it simply the ghosts of their own painful memories, or is something more? Sarah Waters is excellent at lush, intricate historical detail, and she leans into that here to create an atmosphere of slowly building dread and horror and mystery.

That being said, as a person who isn't normally a fan of horror, I don't think this book is too scary. It's more of an atmospheric, psychological horror than a jump-scare, bloody horror. It's not a book that will give you nightmares (probably), but you might lie awake thinking about it.

Also. Pro-tip. As a haunted(?) house story, the house is obviously fairly central to the story. Dear fellow Americans, keep in mind that the British refer to the floors of a building differently than us. For Americans, the ground-level floor is called the first floor, the floor above that the second floor, etc. For the British, the ground-level floor is the ground floor, and the floor above that is the first floor, etc. There's all sorts of creepy references to characters hearing noises above them on the first floor, but I was just like, Why are they always in the basement?

2) Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno Garcia

This and the above are two very different books, and yet they are both set in the mid-1900s and both are about weird, creepy, maybe-haunted houses. What can I say, I like gothic fiction.

After our heroine, Noemi, receives a bizarre, borderline incoherent letter from her beloved cousin, she sets out to visit her in the literally decaying mansion she resides in with her husband and his new family deep in the countryside of Mexico. All Noemi wants to do is persuade her cousin to come back home with her, but her cousin's new in-laws are very determined not to let that happen...or to let Noemi leave either. Secrets abound in the bizarre house and even creepier nearby cemetery, and soon Noemi finds that she too is suffering from bizarre dreams and visions...although, are they just dreams?

This book is so weird, but in such a good way? I read it for a book club and every week we had increasingly bizarre theories about what was going on, we were googling alchemy and fungi and St George, and some of our theories were even right. Although definitely not all. Another very twisty one that keeps you guessing.

In terms of scariness, interestingly I think there's more overtly creepy and horrifying moments in this novel than The Little Stranger, but I found TLS more overall scary? But that may be because I read it quickly, which I think is the ideal setting for suspenseful stuff, and I read Mexican Gothic over a longer amount of time since it was for a book club. This one does have some more typical horror elements to it, but I don't think it's more creepy than terrifying.

3) The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey

I listened to this one as an audiobook and the audiobook is excellent so would recommend that, but have no doubt it would also be great to physically read.

Oh my god this book...it's more thriller than horror, but I think it fits the brief. There were multiple moments listening to this book that I literally gasped or said "OH MY GOD!" out loud, and there are moments which are very creepy and horrifying. There's a particular scene in the backyard... Again, incredibly suspenseful and twisty. And the character development and character psychology is just! really really good! There's also really interesting and knotty feminist stuff which is a lot more complicated and nasty than some of the "girlboss" stuff which is popular right now.

Super minimal summary: All you really need to know is that it is a sci fi novel about a scientific researcher trying to pick up her life after her marriage has imploded, only for everything to go BATSHIT WRONG. Trust me, that's all you need to know, it's better to go into this not knowing what's going to happen or what to expect. I had no clue what this novel was about when I started it, and holy shit. Very good book, absolutely recommend this if you want some super suspenseful, creepy sci fi that will make you say "oh my GOD" repeatedly.

Okay, shifting gears a little now b/c autumn isn't just spooky, it's also cozy and restful and daydreamy!

4) The Thinking Woman's Guide to Real Magic by Emily Croy Barker

This isn't maybe a cozy book per se, but it's a great book to cuddle down with on a dreary day and lose yourself in. If you've ever asked yourself, "What would it be like if you crossed Pride and Prejudice with Howl's Moving Castle except the wizard was way worse but somehow still sexy" - then you should read this book! I actually came across this book b/c I was like, I wanna read a book that's a portal fantasy but for adults, and this book was like OH here's everything you wanted.

It's about a grad student, Nora, who has totally stalled out on her dissertation and is at a shitty wedding when she accidentally wanders through a portal into a beautiful, fantastical fairy world. At first, everything is amazing and literally perfect...but surprise surprise, not all as is it seems, and soon everything goes to, how should I put it, shit. Nora escapes, but rather than returning home, she finds herself trapped in a far more dreary realm. But not one without it's own charms and it's own magic, and Nora finds herself the student-slash-sorta-captive of the crochety, sexy, maybe-killed-his-wife magician Aruendiel* and she begins to learn magic herself.

Unlike the above books, this is not a fast-paced, twisty book, and I think if you go into this expecting high fantasy along the lines of Game of Thrones, you may be disappointed. It's not really a typical high-fantasy novel, it's more of a cross of an 18th/19th century realist novel, a fairy tale, and a fantasy novel. But if you want that, then it's REALLY good! I loved this book! And the magic in it is so cool, something about the way its described feels so visceral and real and like you could really do it if you just tried hard enough. There is a romance and it's totally, intentionally hashtag problematic, but it's very laid back, very slow burn, so I think even if you aren't a person who digs romance you can still enjoy this. If you're looking for a feminist-leaning fantasy novel that you can just sink into and lose yourself in, this is the perfect book. You will long to magically fix broken plates.

5) The Ruthless Lady's Guide to Wizardry by C.M. Waggoner

Honestly I can't even justify why I think this one is an autumn book. It simply is. It's autumn colored in my head. It is the coziest book I have ever read about necromancy and crime. Also I just want to recommend it. This is another one that I listened to as an audiobook and it's also a good audiobook, for those who are interested. But it also means I will not be able to spell absolutely any of the character's names.

This novel follows Delly, an enterprising young scoundrel of a fire witch with a teeny tiny gin habit as she attempts to support herself and her hot-mess of a mom in the roughest neighborhoods of Fantasy-City-That-I-Can't-Remember-The-Name-Of. Lice...gate? When Delly comes across an advertisement for a bodyguarding job for young women for a hefty fee, it seems like the answer to definitely not all but at least some of her problems. She accepts, along with an interesting assortment of other sorcerous young ladies, including a wonderfully bitchy Absentia (my love), a young woman who can turn into a boar, boar girl's necromancer mother, and the very sexy part-troll Winn, who in my imagination looks like Gwendoline Christie and talks like Miranda Hart. Which. Perfect woman. Winn being a fine, wealthy young lady, Delly can't help but think to herself that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if Winn happened to fall in love with her and carried her off to be rich and spoiled the rest of her life.

Of course, things quickly don't go to plan, and soon Delly and her companions find herself caught up in wicked schemes of murder, drugs, and an undead mouse named Buttons who says BONG. I love Buttons SO MUCH.

This book is just a silly romp of a novel which worms into your heart and your brain. It's fun and cute and gay, and also it made me cry. I haven't stopped thinking, "Not quite regulation hammerball" since I listened to it like half a year ago.

Also, while I'm here, this novel is set in the same world as and features a few of the same characters as Unnatural Magic. Which is also a hell of a book. Literally the best bisexual relationship I have ever fuckin read. It's a winter book tho, so I simply can't go into it here.

Aaaaand...that it's! Happy autumnal reading :)

[bh7theseriesblog]

The Origins of Big Hero 7

Big Hero 7: The Series

Origins

*A flicker of black and white starts up for a while, static noises barely blocks out a voice*

Umm…Hello? Can you hear me?

*the flickering and static stops as it shows a 14 year old girl with dyed blue hair and purple eye contacts*

Can you hear me? Oh it's working!

*The girl sits on the chair in front of the camera. She smooths out her sea green skirt as she clears her throat*

Hi! So…after some thinking I decided to make a video diary so I can remember what I said. After all, who knows when it'll come in handy right? Oh right! I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Cora Mizichio.

*Cora chuckles slightly before continuing*

So I guess I should start with my life and such. Let me warn you though, it's kind of a long and wild story.

*she pulls out a phone and starts showing pictures*

I have lived in San Fransokyo for my whole life with my Dad, Mizuchi and Grandmama, Kaguya. My mom, Akemi passed away when I was a baby.

*image of a blonde hair woman smiled warmly before switching to Cora and her family. Her father being Goliath in stature and her grandmother dressed in a kimono with a cane*

Then my family found out that I'm incredibly intelligent for my age. I suppose hacking into your father's computer to send a birthday card at the age of 4 does that. My Dad is very sweet and an old softie, but is very protective of me and wasn't sure that I should go to school. So I was homeschooled, it was fun being taught by Grandmama and such about Marine biology, but…I felt kind of lonely…

After all my studies, I actually made a habit of bot fighting disguised as an unknown cat-masked competitor under the name 'Nekodomo'. It earned good money since at the time Dad hadn't gotten any luck with jobs due to his height. But it was my very first night of bot fighting that I met him…Hiro Hamada

*she flips the photo to a young Asian boy her age, with messy raven hair, large almond brown eyes and a tooth gap in his smile.*

I've never had very much luck when it came to making or having friends, so if I someone told me that I would end up dating this guy I would had laughed. But yeah we did. I was paired up with Hiro in one of those special bot fighting events like the duo duel. We won, but than the cops were coming and I was so scared of getting caught that I couldn't move. But then the next thing I know Hiro grabs my hand and we were running like crazy before the cops even spot us! I have no idea how long we had been running, but to be honest I didn't really care because I was still awe-struck by the fact that Hiro had save me from getting arrested and we didn't even know each other at the time. But that was all about to change, because as we were finally approaching a safe distance from the cops, it was at that moment where I tripped and fell flat on my face, and at the same time broke my mask. Thankfully Hiro picked me back up and we started running again, with me leaving my broken mask behind. Once we finally stopped and knew we were safe, that was when Hiro and I actually first met face-to-face. Now I have to be honest with you, I've never really known if the whole 'Love at first sight' thing was actually real or not, but it's the only thing I can describe how I felt when I first looked into Hiro's eyes. It was there when we properly introduced ourselves to each other and after that, we started seeing each other more. And it was only after 4 months of hanging out together, that I finally got to meet his family, and he got to meet mine.

*The picture now showed Hiro with a woman holding a calico japanese bobtail cat and a young man on either side of him.*

The woman on his left is his Aunt Cass, she runs a coffee shop called the Lucky Cat Cafe. The young man on his right is his older brother Tadashi. And the adorably cute kitty-cat Aunt Cass is holding is Mochi, their family pet. They are really cool people, and they always asked how I was doing and such, and Mochi is such a sweet kitty that he always tries to cuddle up to me whenever I come over. Hiro and I actually became an official thing one night when I saved his butt from Yama's minions. And boy were they surprised! Aunt Cass actually bounced when Hiro told them that I'm his girlfriend! Dad and Grandmama met them that night too, while dad wasn't too happy at first about me dating, Grandmama convinced him…after hitting him on the head with her cane.

*Cora giggled at the memory*

Anyway, After a slight misadventure where Hiro and Tadashi landed in jail and Cass had to bail them out, Tadashi actually took Hiro to SFIT, San Fransokyo institute of Technology that same night. Hiro told me that he met Tadashi's friends. There's Gogo: the cool biker chick, Honey Lemon: the stylish Chem genius, Wasabi: Laser neat freak, and Fred: the secret Billionaire super hero geek. Afterwards Hiro and I actually applied to SFIT by entering the showcase! Hiro made these miniature robots he called Microbots which he can control via head transmitter, I on the other hand did super strength suction cup shoes that can stick on any surface. We both won and we…were gonna celebrate until…a huge fire broke out in the showcase building and Tadashi ran back inside to help Callaghan, a teacher at the school….he didn't make it…

*Cora turned quiet, looking at her hands as she takes a deep breath*

Hiro wasn't himself for a while. I visited him a lot since the fire, and I mostly talked and tried to comfort and be there for him. Then came the day Hiro stubbed his toe and Baymax came along.

*A picture of a white inflated figure came to the picture*

Baymax was Tadashi's project, a robotic nurse to be more specific. He heard Hiro say ow and activated to help him. Then one of Hiro's microbots started acting weird, and Baymax followed the direction it went! It was then we found a guy in a kabuki mask controlling the Microbots. But they were destroyed at the fire right? Once Hiro pieced together that it was the kabuki-masked man that started the fire to steal them, which in turned killed Tadashi…Hiro decided to build Baymax some armor which…well

*the next picture showed Baymax in protective gear*

We traveled down to the port where we saw him take some type of machine out of the ocean. But then it turns out Baymax called the gang to help us, but sadly the guy in the mask saw us. We barely escaped with our lives that night! Thankfully Baymax being a walking marshmallow, also makes him an inflatable raft too. Afterwards we got to Fred's mansion and discussed over what to do next. Side note: it was weird to see that Fred is a billionaire.

*shows portrait of a young Fred and his parents in classy attire*

Hiro and I then built ourselves armor to fight the guy in the mask. Honey lemon got this cute chemistry purse to pull out what she needed, Gogo got some sick skates to zoom past us, Fred got a killer Kaiju costume that breaths fire, Wasabi got awesome laser blades on the backs of his hands, and I got my aquatic camouflage suit with squid strength suction cup shoes! And learning back from his previous work, Hiro turned Baymax from a stay puff marshmallow with bicycle gear to an awesome superhero!

*the next photo shows Baymax in his red armor*

After training and flying around the city we got down to business. We flew to Akuma island where the masked guy was, and it was there we learned something interesting. Krei and some government officials had something called 'Project Silent Sparrow'. It backfired when the portal sucked everything in, and the pilot was stuck. But then the masked guy attacked us! We tried to fight back but….

*a small clip showed Fred jumping only to be punched away *

We bombed, big time.

Hiro and I got lucky to get the mask…but the person was not who we thought….

Turns out Callaghan grabbed the transmitter and used it and the Microbots to protect himself in the fire…leaving Tadashi to die….

It was then that Hiro took out Baymax's health care chip and ordered him to kill Callaghan…

*Cora took a deep breathe before standing up and leaving the room, she returned back with a glass of water and started drinking it. Once she was done She then continued.*

Thankfully the gang got Baymax back to normal but Hiro was furious. He just left with Baymax…but we eventually met up with Hiro at his place, with a video of Tadashi…it was also when we showed him what we discovered. The pilot was no random person Krei hired. She was Callaghan's daughter, and Callaghan was out for blood.

We got to Krei Tech where Callaghan got his portal running. Hiro then learned what we needed to do to beat him; instead of the mask, we take out the Microbots, then he'd be powerless. But despite that, the portal was still open, and ready to tear itself to pieces. Then Baymax dropped the biggest bomb on us, Callaghan's daughter was still alive in there.

Hiro and I got on Baymax to rescue her. We found her pod but Baymax's thrusters were wrecked from the debris…

Baymax…he got us out by rocket punch…but stayed behind in the portal…

It's been weeks since then…

Krei agreed to keep our identities a secret, Callaghan is in prison, and his daughter is making a steady recovery at the hospital. And the news had been exploding over 'the mysterious group of heroes' that saved the city.

Hiro and I had been doing good, we talked to the gang a lot and we actually reapplied to SFIT again.

*Cora then looks at the clock beside her and gasped*

Oh man it's almost midnight! And first day of class is tomorrow! Anyway, thank you for listening! And…Baymax…I don't know if you can hear me..but Hiro has been doing good. We all miss you…especially me and Hiro...wish us good luck, cause who knows what happens tomorrow.

*Cora smiles at the camera before turning it off.*

A.N: This is an updated look for the prolouge chapter of Big Hero 7: The Series!

Liking the new visuals? ;3

This chapter has been edited by WolfWitchHuntress1318 at Fanfiction.net! Thank you for being my patient editor! Thank you for following and reading Big Hero 7! Love ya!

[movienotesbyzawmer]

August 30: Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

(previous notes: Mission: Impossible III)

I bet the powers that be at the Mission: Impossible movie factory didn't lose any sleep over the stupid colon in the title that screws everything up. I mean, just look at that up there with the colon after my date, then the colon in the middle of the OG title, and then it's like, well, you can do whatever you want with punctuation but we're adding a subtitle after it now and you just have to deal with it. On posters and stuff it's just "Mission: Impossible" and then underneath those words they put "Ghost Protocol" so they don't have to deal with it. What a mess. I tell you it is a damn mess is what it is.

Anyway, we have arrived at the M:I movie that, more than any of the others, just really hit the spot for me when I saw it upon its original release. I saw it at the end of a frustrating and tiring work day and it was exactly what the doctor ordered. At some point in the middle I realized that I was enjoying it thoroughly without having to tolerate the kinds of flaws that were apparently part and parcel of this kind of movie. Maybe there were flaws that I just wasn't registering. We'll soon see.

Continuing the tradition of making very hip choices for the directing duties, here we have the live-action directorial debut of Brad Bird, who started off directing episodes of The Simpsons before moving on to no less than The Iron Giant and The Incredibles. Dude had two Oscars on his mantle by the time he showed up for this. Press play already!

Um Sweet Christ those opening shots look gook in 4K like HOO boy

Whoa, neat opening where Sawyer from Lost is chased off the top of a building in Budapest but his jacket deploys an air mattress right as he almost-hits, but then he's shot by Lea Seydoux in an alley, rat-a-tat-tat with the action here, like what is up

Simon Pegg is back, and he's being tricksy with the tech in a prison! He's opening cell doors and the prisoners are surprised and delighted with that twist! He plays them a jazz standard on the intercom and Ethan Hunt suavely emerges from one of the cells. Fun silly things ensue involving Ethan's rebellious and confident independent strategy and a small riot that seems kind of like a bar fight.

He has made a pal in the joint and he's breaking him out. Some kind of cool tech creates a really sweet vortex-y hole in the floor and they are swooped up by their helpers, it's fun.

We're introduced to Paula Patton who is a new team member, and then the credits roll, and they are spirited in a way that recalls the first movie, also showing real scenes from later in the movie.

Flashback to the thing that was happening with Sawyer shows how that botched operation, something about a file and a courier, got Sawyer killed because lots of bad guys were all over the place there. AR contact lens technology figures prominently, and that is a good idea (plus we totally might have those soon, right?).

0:18:16 - Once again we begin the movie without the leading lady from the previous one, but we're starting to get an explanation here. Or just a tease of one I guess.

And quickly we get a sneaky-style self-destructing message that sets up that Ethan has to disguise himself as a specific Russian and sneak into the actual Kremlin. This movie 100% gets what a Mission: Impossible movie is supposed to be.

This time, they aren't using fancy masks or voice shifter things, just costumes and a fake mustache. They comment about that in the dialogue but don't explain why.

0:24:52 - Dialogue mixed SO QUIET here I have no idea what SP just said. It seems like you're supposed to have heard it.

But that is quickly forgotten when they use the coolest spy gadget of them all - a screen that is placed in a corridor that makes the guy at the other end of the corridor think it’s the corridor, but it's a screen and SP & Ethan are hiding behind it and it is super super neato I love it

Then just when it's cool that that is going well, it's suddenly cool how NOT well it's going because someone is spying on their spycraft! The thing they were going to heist isn't there, and someone deliberately makes their comms thing be heard by the bad guys!

And THEN we see something we really didn't think we'd see and it is kind of mind blowing - Ethan escapes from the Kremlin with a very smooth quick-change of his disguise that we see him do in all one shot… but then the Kremlin totally explodes and it explodes all over Ethan as he's running away! It looks amazing!

Right after that there is some fun with subtitles - Ethan is in the hospital all damaged and concussed and stuff, and the news is talking about the obvious big story, and the subtitles are in Russian. At first I was like, "hey is my home theater tech busted?" but no, the subtitles become gradually more in English as Ethan starts to come out of it. Then we see with subtitles that Ethan is reading lips about the police people that want to be bad guys to Ethan.

After Ethan escapes, we shift to a wholesome-looking Russian family we haven't seen before. The scene is a nice little piece of drama about how the dad sees the Kremlin news and wants to get the family out of there, and very quickly that goes south and thugs have them all at gunpoint, it's nicely done

Ethan is being extracted by two new characters played by accomplished, Oscar-nominated actors Tom Wilkinson and Jeremy Renner… the conversation is dire and I don't want to type during it gahhh gah gah gah I am watching because holy shit this goes south too! TW informs Ethan that the DoD is going to frame him for blowing up the Kremlin and his only choice is to escape. He's telling him HOW to escape in a funny way, but they are attacked and it's visually very interesting and TW is headshot and they are in the water and it is such bad news for Ethan and his new colleague played by Mr. Renner, I probably typoed a lot during that because it was so hard to look away.

So Ethan is on the hook for the terrorist attack of the century and he's being chased by a little battalion of thugs who just shot that important spy boss, and he's in Russia. It is very not good for Ethan.

He's with JR and JR is playing a different character for him. He's a bookish analyst guy who feels very out of place in action-land.

We're learning about the main bad guy, Hendricks, who was the guy that screwed everything up in the Kremlin. He's a super-smart theoretical physicist or something who has big, well-thought-out ideas about destroying the world with nukes, and he took nuke codes from the Kremlin. So things are just really really hairy and it's effective storytelling is what I'm saying.

Also effective is that they met up with SP and PP on a neat secret train car thing that is well appointed with spy gear

And VERY VERY EFFECTIVE is what happens next, which is a series of establishing shots of Dubai which KILL ON MY TV. I am glad I have a 4K panel, kids. This begins what I recall as being an extended sequence of sweet-ass suspense. Ethan has to break into a server room by climbing the outside of the 130th floor of the Burj Khalifa using glove-gadget tech that will hopefully work. There is at least some actual Tom Cruise clinging to the side of that building. It's so cool looking. And to make matters worse, a dust storm approaches! Or should I say "to make matters even cooler looking". Yes I should. Please read that part.

Paula Patton's character seems underdeveloped so far, especially compared to her teammates Simon Pegg and Jeremy Renner.

Jeez you guys, if you like suspenseful action scenes about barely surviving climbing a skyscraper this movie is for you.

1:05:34 - In the middle of a tense conversation we see that they were using the maskmaker but it wasn't working. They just don't want us to have mask fun in this movie. They hate mask fun. Why does Brad Bird hate mask fun.

Oh then this scene which is neat - bad guys are meeting with LS… but Ethan and JR are taking their place, and PP is taking LS's place for the real bad guys one floor down. The movie explains it better than me, but it is pretty exciting, the two meetings happening at the same time with opposite trickery.

Hah, SP does a sweet fake-hand trick to get the diamonds from the bad guys so he can get them to Ethan and JN, and JN is doing the thing where he uses the contact lens tech… gosh why are you even reading this, just watch the movie. I really like the tricksy espionage.

It all falls apart because LS spots the contact lens in JR's eye. The plot is moving along in a way that, I'm once again noticing, would normally require more half-assed-ness. It's just a solid spy plot. Which probably makes these notes more boring. Poor you.

LS dies by getting kicked out of the open window of the Burj Khalifa with a brewing sandstorm in the background! Neat looking!

And then a thing where Ethan is in a thick dust cloud and he's tracking the important paper thing with his tracker device, and it starts moving quickly at him and we realize just as it's too late that it's in a car that's gonna run him over! Then that mechanic gets used in a car chase in a dust storm, which we don't see very often outside a Mad Max movie, and that climaxes in a really cool looking collision, followed by the reveal that one of the nuclear code bad guys was Hendricks in a supermask. So we DO like mask fun after all! Except why do we care that it was Hendricks?

A scene where JR is confronted for maybe being a double-crosser has a beautifully choreographed gun-get-grabbity-grab thing that was probably super fun for the actors.

1:27:05 - JR tells a story that at first we think is that family we saw briefly almost scramming, but no, he's talking about Ethan, and what seems to be a story about Ethan's wife (Julia from the last movie) getting killed in Croatia, and Ethan killing six Serbians for revenge, and that's why he was in prison in the beginning? It's still a little mysterious and kind of complicated. It doesn't quite fit with what we think we know.

Dubai imagery is pretty. I have been to Dubai. I am standing by for your marriage proposals now.

I didn't really follow how we got to this point, but Ethan went for a walk and met with some underworld Dubai person and made a deal the ended up with a huge cache of spy gear and a private plane to India. I went to India like right after Dubai. I have my own car and a job kind of so you might need to calm your hormones at this point.

A probing exchange with PP establishes that indeed Ethan's story is that he killed the men who killed his wife. Doesn't really seem legit, though. There's more to the story, clearly.

One of the tech things they play with on the plane is the most magic-seeming one. It is a suit that looks like tight chain-mail, and it floats over a cart, like a magic carpet that you wear.

We're introduced to Brij Nath, whose name I had to look up so I could tell you how it is spelled. He has an access code that they need, which seems like they just kind of simplified the situation, and he's one of those only-kinda-bad bad guys that's really just a pawn, for our heroes as well as for these storytellers.

The wearable magic carpet gadget is fun and funny! SP has to remote control JR wearing the floaty-suit and JR is trying not to freak out too badly, and maybe on purpose it recalls the scene from the first movie where Tom Cruise hovers parallel to the floor.

Hendricks is now in a secret room in the place where they all are, and he has a bad-guy briefcase computer and orders some subordinates to do something with a virus, and I don't actually understand what's really happening but am I to believe that Ethan et al are thwarting literal nuclear terrorism here in Mumbai? Right here at this pleasant party at the palace of an only kinda-bad bad guy?

1:48:30 - Ha, the climax of the wearable magic carpet thing involves JR barely surviving by doing an acrobatic stunt that seems oddly intuitive and satisfying. You'll just have to watch the movie to know what I mean.

The spy-tech car they have is rad.

They fail to prevent the launch of a nuclear missile! We see it come out of the sub and start missiling toward its destination which we have learned is California! Hendricks mutters things about how that should get the ball rolling making world powers hate each other and nuke each other and may there be peace on Earth, he also, yes, says that.

A chase on foot has Ethan and Hendricks suddenly brawling on an exotically elegant robotic parking ramp. Platforms move around mechanically and transfer unmanned cars to different areas, and it is against that video gamey backdrop that Ethan and Hendricks struggle to get that sinister suitcase which is all bouncing around that environment. Unexpectedly, Ethan's hope of grabbing it is thwarted by Hendricks suicide-jumping down several stories! We see it! He definitely does that! Ethan drives a car off a thing to follow him, plummeting down hood-first, and the airbag saves him! He gets the briefcase and barely saves the day in time!

Again a denouement making it very clear that everything is really shockingly okay and tidied up. Even the thing with Ethan revenge-killing Serbians and the thing with his wife is cleaned way up, but with an elegance and sweetness that elevates this movie above the others. She's not dead after all, just fake-dead for her protection. And they're only where they are in Seattle so he can glimpse her lovingly across a marina.

So! I feel strongly that this is the best Mission: Impossible movie! It is an extraordinarily deftly-constructed spy thriller! It's got all the funnest types of things that are in the other movies, and other fun spy thrillers, but with so much less garbage! They did a great job and they should be proud.

[alternativewinxcontinuity]

Well, I read the ‘sneak peak’. God I hope they cut a lot out because there were places where the pacing felt like they cut something out.

The was... a general level of ‘I think I’d have more fun beating my head against the wall’, but there were a few places where I had some things that needed to be said.

Under the cut because I’ve included the full available text in addition to my b*tchy little notes.

So I’ve just realised the whole thing +sneak peak is 14,232 words, that’s a bit excessive for a single post.

I might leave just the snark here (I chucked the +sneak peak chapters up on AO3, it’s just for more contexts.)

Prologue

Under her list of ideas, she’d written the results of her experiments.

July 6th—candles—no burns.

July 8th—camping stove—no burns.

July 10th—blowtorch—no burns.

Experimenting on herself had been scary, but not as scary as the memory of her home burning.

You set shit on fire and your only experiments thus far are: “does this burn me? How about this?” CHILD! Start with a candle, a lighter and a f*cking FIRE EXTINGUISHER and practice putting out a single flame!!!! Then: light a single candle!

Stop putting your hand in fire if it scares you! “I am this many kinds of fire proof” does not equal “control of fire so I don't hurt anyone else”!!!!

Also, the wall behind the woman had opened into a shimmering portal of light. Just another clue that something unusual was going on.

Bloom waved this off. “Is this the part where you tell me I’m magic now?”

“You always were, Bloom,” said Headmistress Dowling. “You just didn’t know it yet.”

That was enough. She might have mysterious powers that were out of control, the world might be going mad, but her parents hadn’t raised her to listen to strange adults who approached in the dead of night with what sounded like a cult recruitment speech. Bloom snorted, abandoned her sleeping bag, and made for the door.

The woman’s voice stopped her at the mouth of the warehouse.

“I know about the fire, Bloom.”

Bloom trembled like a candle flame in a gust of wind. Slowly, she turned around. The woman was watching her with a steady gaze, keen but not unkind.

“Where are you going? You can’t go home. You’re too afraid you’ll hurt your parents again.”

Headmistress Dowling was right.

Kay, so obvious magic goes unremarked upon, not even a “nice trick with the lights, is that suppose to convince me”.

Also, either someone's been stalking Bloom, or Dowling is some kind of Mind Fairy.

FIRE

Once upon a time, it was my favorite possession, the fanciest book I owned, with golden swirls on the cover. But I’d grown up and packed the book into my old toy chest along with my teddy bears. I’d thought I was long past fairy tales.

That was before I used magic to burn down my house. My toy chest and my fairy-tale book had burned, too.

Creators kick my nostalgia for the lulz: 01

My book of fairy tales hadn’t included a swarm of kids around my age. One long-legged, capable-looking African American chick strode by, wearing a denim jacket and carrying a bag full of athletic gear. Wait, she wasn’t African American. Fairies didn’t have Africa or America. I didn’t know the name of the fairy realm I was currently in. Also, I hadn’t pictured fairies being into extreme sports.

Another girl, pale with a cloud of brown hair, was clutching several plants to her bosom as she hurried across the courtyard. A third sauntered by, vaguely punk rock and olive-skinned and wearing enormous headphones that buzzed faintly on her ears. I hadn’t pictured fairies rocking out, either.

Oh look, this Bloom also subscribes to the: “it's not whitewashing if they're aliens” theory

There was a rangy guy with skinny jeans, overly sardonic eyebrows, and a knife-bridge nose. California had plenty of white boy edgelords, but this edgelord had an actual knife. Oh no, actual knife! I wasn’t interested in getting to know Knife Boy better.

Called out Riven.

A stunning blonde girl with porcelain skin was taking a selfie with a group of overawed younger students. A luminous wisp floated in the air, making her glossy hair shine. Talk about a beauty angle. Seemingly, fairies could create their own beauty lighting.

Bloom is gay for Stella count: 01

I sneaked a look at him and grinned. His hair had coiffed peaks like a gold helmet and his shirt was pink, which I liked because gender stereotypes were for the weak. He even had a summer tan that fishbelly-pale redheaded me could only dream of. But no matter how cute he was, I wasn’t going to encourage him.

“I guess that means we have to do this forever. There are worse things, but—”

I stopped and turned to him. “I don’t need help, but thanks.”

Now I was looking at him properly, Some Guy was very cute, with a hero jawline and a confident air. Some Guy might be cute, but I was the independent type.

By the way, it's very important you all know that Bloom is a strong independent woman™  who scoff at gender roles, because she's hip and edgy, but she's like, totes not an edgelord(!) She's cool(!) Even if she hates her super pale skin.

Some of the chandeliers in this place were so dainty and delicate, they looked like stars suspended on gilt ribbons. The rooms were large and bright, with sunbeams dyed by stained-glass windows that were as intricate as the embroidery on a princess’s hem. Much of the stained glass was different shades of green, subtly coloring the air around us as though we were in a world made of jade and emerald.

Welcome to the Emerald City of Oz?

She continued talking, full of ennui about the fairy-tale castle, while I sneaked another look at her ring. “If you ever want to go back,” Stella said as she deliberately flashed it at me. She was making some kind of power play, and I didn’t know why.

Stella might be a bitch now, but I'm pretty sure It's only because Stella is also Diaspro in this reality?

FIRE

There was a realm called Eraklyon, which sounded like a dragon clearing its throat.

I mean... that's one way to pronounce it? I guess?

FIRE

I’d do anything for my parents, including lie to them about my new boarding school in Definitely Switzerland. 

Your parents didn't ask about any paper work? They just accepted that you were moving overseas without warning? Who's paying for this alleged boarding school? Actually how are you paying for school?

We’d get dressed up and she’d play me cheerleader-type music. I remembered one chant that went Close your eyes and open your heart! The cheesy brainwashing hadn’t worked. I never much cared about frilly princess gowns, but I liked the idea of being at home in my princess castle.

Creators kick my nostalgia for the lulz: 02

In what beautiful blonde Stella had called the Winx suite—a bright series of rooms with tall windows and a view I couldn’t allow my parents to see—only one person got a room of their own. To my total lack of surprise, that person was Stella.

Bloom is gay for Stella count: 02

Creators kick my nostalgia for the lulz: 03

Really? That's how you're chosing to shoe-horn the Winx brand in? It just happens to be the name of their dorm. Sorry, their 'suite'.

When Mom, always waiting for my transformation into Ms. Popular, asked about the other girls, I shrugged. “Honestly, it’s five girls in an enclosed space, so … it’s only a matter of time before we descend into a Lord of the Flies situation and kill one another.”

So... no. Lord of the Flies is an extension of a study in relation to a very specific mono-ethnic (white), male and privileged group. It is literally young rich white boys, and the break down in community and sense of ethics that results in their single bias attitudes in the face of adversity.

The Winx are firstly female, multi-ethnic (not as much as they should be) and from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds. If it devolves into murder, it will be vicious but it will not be “Lord of the Flies.” Find a better reference.

I busied myself with unpacking to hide my discomfort. “Ms. Dowling said there’s a fairy somewhere in my family tree? A long-dormant magical bloodline?” I sighed. “One day I will get used to how ridiculous all this sounds.”

Aisha’s surprise became wry amusement. “Oh my God. Have I just met the one person in the universe who’s never read Harry Potter?”

… why is that your conclusion? Long lost princess/prince/hero/magical heir swept up for adventure is a common trope. It doesn't make it feel any less ridiculous.

I wondered if any of my new suitemates ever felt that way. Happy bustling Terra, cool girl Musa, glamorous Stella, and Aisha who seemed so grounded.

It is so amazing how the girls that Bloom just happened to notice outside, you know, the only girls Bloom noticed outside, are all her roommates.

MIND

Terra’s super sweet voice revved into overdrive, picking up speed and frantic pleasantness on the way. “She’s just having fun. And I know it’s a lot. Shocker, Earth Fairy named Terra likes plants. It’s a family thing. I’ve got a cousin named Flora. My mom’s name is Rose, and my dad works in the greenhouse here. That’s why I know a lot of the second years. I grew up around Alfea, and—”

ohp, there it is

Creators kick my nostalgia for the lulz:04

“Stella’s a second year? Why is she in a suite full of first years?”

“Oh yeah. Actually … I don’t know. Some administrative thing last year? I mean, I think …”

I think you’re lying, thought Musa. She turned her back and dipped her power toward Terra, getting a faint sense that …

Somehow I doubt it was blowing up a potions lab in pursuit of a new shade of pink.

SPECIALIST

Less cool was Sky, Riven’s super annoying best friend in the whole world, who was rattling on about the ginger girl from the human world he’d met yesterday. Riven was sure she was crazy. He knew this because crazy was what Sky looked for in a woman.

So Riven is Riven and Brandon, okay.

I hate these assholes.

Riven bared his teeth. “Correction: I got high this summer.”

… : /

There was no real point trying to beat Sky. He was the best. Anyone in Alfea could tell you that … right after they told you Riven was the worst.

There was no real point, but Riven kept trying to beat Sky, anyway. Hey, nobody ever said Riven was smart.

… >:(

Sky’s dad was Andreas of Eraklyon, the dead legendary hero, slayer of the Burned Ones. Sky’s dad-substitute was Specialist Headmaster Silva, their fearless leader with the cold blue eyes and passion for early morning runs.

So many dead parents suddenly

He passed the blue, shimmering Barrier and went into the deep, dark woods. He could almost hear Silva’s voice now, telling the first years that the Barrier was their magical shield against the Burned Ones. Beware those merciless monsters with their inhuman strength and speed, never mind that nobody’s seen one in sixteen years, woo woo, so scary.

And Bloom is how old? Also: guess who’s about to start showing up suddenly! Trick question, it’s the Burned Ones, the ones we’ve already been told are the new series’ enemy.

EARTH

Their suite was called the Winx suite, which was such a cool name. Maybe they could call themselves the Winx Club?

Yep, they're going with that, okay. 

You couldn’t even name the suit Wings in the kind of obnoxious cursive that makes it look like Winx and have Bloom misread it and become a running joke amongst the girls?!?!?!

Terra nervously eyed the food laid out on the tables before them. Sometimes she felt as if food might bite her before she bit into it. She couldn’t take cookies. All the other girls in the Winx suite were so skinny and pretty. If Terra ate a bunch of cookies, people would say, “No wonder she looks like that.” But if Terra got a plate full of carrots, people would say, “Who does she think she’s kidding, when she looks like that?” It was hard to know what to do.

Wow, just, wow. Terra honey, they do you so dirty. Fat girls don't have to hate themselves, just a note for the creators. And Terra, baby, if people gonna talk shit either way, you eat whatever the f*ck you want.

(If this is not the set up for a personal growth arc in which Terra learns to not-hate-her-body and that she is worth loving regardless, and the creators really think plus sized folks just hate themselves as a constant state of being, I'mma be so unbelievably pissed off.)

She wasn’t going to hunt for her annoying brother.

Hold up, Terra has a brother?

FIRE

I still needed a breather. “Where can I go that’s the opposite of this? What’s outside?”

Cute Guy looked alarmed. “Past the Barrier? Depending on the rumors, bears or wolves or something much scarier.”

Did you not hear about the dead body? The very mutilated dead body? Sky, buddy? You're not going to bring up the very murdered and mutilated dead body in order to prevent the new girl from a foreign world (that you want to bang) from going into actual and legitimate danger? No?

I thought about Stella saying once she knew me, she’d find something to love about me.

It made me smile.

Bloom is gay for Stella count: 03

As if I’d conjured her by thinking about her, Stella’s voice rang out. “Hey, Sky. Can we talk?”

Stella was wearing her flawless new outfit and holding two drinks. Every twinkly light in the courtyard caught gold in her hair. She was looking right at Cute Guy, whose name was apparently Sky. From Sky’s expression, he knew Stella pretty well.

Yeah, Stella is Diaspro now

EARTH

Oh, for the love of … Riven was menace-flirting at some poor Specialist boy. This was Riven’s typical behavior when he felt off balance. Terra had once witnessed Riven looming at a fern in a way that suggested he either wanted to prune viciously or make out.

I... what???

“Really? Bullying the new kid? Be more obvious.”

Riven smirked, because of course he did. “Can’t bully the willing. Right?”

There was something loaded about Riven’s tone.

“I don’t know what that means!” the new boy said sharply.

The new boy was clearly feeling uncomfortable. Terra sympathized. The poor thing mustn’t take Riven’s terrible personality personally.

Well, someone belongs on a sex offenders registry. What the f*ck Terra, don't excuse this shit, it's not okay.

“But sometimes we’ve had a bad day, and a scrawny little twerp says the wrong thing at the wrong time,” Terra purred. “And all of a sudden, we’re not happy you’re talking to us. And we’re not nice. And most of all, we’re not harmless.”

“purred”, really? You gonna make it sound sensual? Let the girl Snarl! Damnit!

The vines were suffocating him so he couldn’t even talk. It was so nice and peaceful.

Terra smiled sweetly. “What’s that, Riv? I’m sure it’s clever. I just can’t hear you.”

His face turned red. He was about to pass out, Terra noted, still with that feeling of cheery distance. She shouldn’t actually let him faint. Riven would hate that.

Uhhh, so Terra might have psychopathic tendencies and maybe a dissociative disorder.

She shouldn’t actually let him faint. Riven would hate that.

Yeah, and his victim would have hated being assaulted, choke this douche.

Gods above I cannot stress how much I hate this Riven in comparison to OG Riven, and I was not OG Riven's biggest fan.

FIRE

THESE ARE THE SCENES FROM THE TRAILER!!!!!

Bloom continues to be a dumbass.

WATER

Aisha wasn’t used to Alfea, but she was used to being part of a team. 

Well someone hasn't watched the show.

How her mother and Bloom had been fighting about her social life, and how Bloom would rather fix old lamps than cheerlead.

Who is this woman, where is Vanessa? And Bloom's art thing? The lamps sounds interesting, but I've never seen sign of it yet, was it cut for time?

“It was almost like the fire had a life of its own,” Bloom went on. “I don’t remember how long I let it burn. I just remember their screams.”

When Bloom finished the story, she was clearly fighting back tears. A subtle, weary tremor went through her frame, like a runner past her endurance. It seemed like Bloom had been fighting for a long time.

“My mom was covered in third-degree burns,” Bloom said. “Because of me. And if I hadn’t gone in there to stop it? To stop what I started?” She looked completely burned out.

“Every night after that, I sneaked out. I was so scared I’d hurt them again that I slept in this creepy-ass warehouse near home. Until Ms. Dowling found me and …”

Given the Tragic Backstory™ , I'm actually a little surprised Bloom didn't straight up run away from home completely, the fact that she went back at all...

“I’ve heard the story of my birth a million times.” Bloom’s tone brooked no argument. “Miracle baby. There was a problem with my heart in the womb, but the day after I was born, it was gone.”

Aisha went cold. “Oh God,” she breathed. “You’re a changeling.”

Because Bloom needs to be even more Special™, this is doing nothing to ruin my theory Bloom is a Burned One, by the way. (Actually starting to think Burned Ones are Fire Fairies whose powers pretty much consumed them or cursed that way or something along those lines.)

So where's the “real” Bloom Peters? Was the fetus even real, or just a simulacrum to have something to switch MC Bloom with?

MIND

Stella’s tone gave Musa pause. Plus, Musa could tell Aisha was really upset. Deliberately, she let her powers turn on, and faced Stella with her eyes glowing.

I'm sorry, I thought Musa couldn't control her powers and that’s why she “has to wear her headphones at all times to block out the noise of other peoples emotions”, now she can 'deliberately turn them on'? When did this happen? Did I miss some Implications?

“You’re a Mind Fairy,” Aisha observed, but there was no other judgment.

Aisha turned to Stella just as Terra came out of her and Musa’s room.

“A Mind Fairy?” Terra repeated sharply. “What’s your connection? Memories, thoughts—”

Okay, so now we learn there are different types of mind fairies. Explain to me why Musa is an Empath with Synthetic input? ('hearing' feelings, or experiencing them in a way that registers as audio.) Is this a “Song of their Hearts” reference, because I don't feel like that was done on purpose if it is.

Only Terra was moving toward Stella, and the way she moved wasn’t Terra’s usual going-nowhere happy bustle. The way Terra moved was that of a woman on the warpath.

Musa was almost impressed.

“She was talking to Sky, wasn’t she?” Terra demanded.

“And?” Stella demanded haughtily in return.

Terra pursued: “And I know what happened to the last person who talked to Sky. I was here last year, remember?”

A crack appeared in Stella’s veneer as she shot back, “You don’t know the full story!”

Didn’t seem like Terra cared. “Ricki was your best friend, then she talked to Sky. Now she’s not here anymore. Why is that again?”

Yeah, definitely getting the feeling DiaStella isn't being held back for a Pursuit of Pink Potions accident.

FIRE

There was even more rustling than usual in the detritus piled in the warehouse corners, but I didn’t care.

Why teleport there? Is there a Rule about where Portals can go? Or is is just Because Bloom felt this was the best place to pop in?

“You don’t have to be okay,” Mom assured me. “You’re only sixteen. Being that far away is a huge deal.”

Dad said gently, “I couldn’t have done it when I was your age. Be thankful you got your mom’s bravery.”

But now I knew that wasn’t true. I didn’t get anything from my mom. No wonder I was always such a disappointment to her.

Osmosis [noun] Def. 2. the process of gradual or unconscious assimilation of ideas, knowledge, etc..

You have some damn decent parents by the sounds of this scene, even if your mother is sure you're a likeable human being who will have friends one day, why are you this way?! For the Angst points?!

Only I could see Mom through the kitchen window. She didn’t seem disappointed. She looked so happy just to be talking to me. How could I ever tell her what I did to her? How could I ever tell her what I was?

Okay, so this line is bringing back the “they deserve to know what I am” line from the trailer, and now I'm torn between “The Winx deserve to know Bloom is a Burned One” and “my parents deserve to know I'm a Magical Fire Fairy (who burned down our house) and maybe a Changeling and thus not their biological daughter technically, maybe.”

My parents told me they loved me. I knew I loved them. And I knew I didn’t belong here. Maybe I never had.

May I advise you: remove your angst blanket, turn on a light and clean the room to remove the Dark and Gritty filters of your life.

I heard faint whispers. Sibilant. Strange.

Sibilant means hissing by the way. In case anyone was wondering.

The monster was on the grate above me.

I crawled as fast as I could. The ring was on the other side of the mesh, but there was a hole just big enough for my hand to get through. I reached for the ring, almost had it.

But in the crawl space in front of me, past the barrier, the shadow of the creature passed on top of the grate. The monster bashed frantically at the grate. Once. Twice. Until with a ringing metallic crash, the monster fell into the claustrophobic space with me.

I made one last grab for the ring, but the monster slammed its hand down on it.

Oh man, if only telekinesis was one of the most basic of Fairy abilities Bloom might have been able to do something, but no, it's basic bitch elements or nothing.

SPECIALIST

I really freaking hate this version of Sky, just, so much.

Terra has her suspicions about the Stella-Sky dynamic and she just, 'oh they's in love at first sigh nothing could possibly go wrong here' hand the number over? Really?

Diaspro!Stella confirmed?

[thebibliomancer]

Shadows of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 15

Shadows of the Dark Crystal by J. M. Lee because urVa is a delight.

Last times on book: Naia is on a journey to Ha’rar with Kylan to clear brother Gurjin’s name and warn the All-Maudra about all these dark crystals. Their journey took them through the Dark Woods where Naia dreamfasted with a tree and made the forest less spooky. Then urVa burst out of a tree and invited the Gelfling for a cryptic soup dinner.

Chapter 17

urVa teaches Naia about archery but mostly says a lot of cryptic stuff that Naia and Kylan can’t make sense of. That’s how it be.

Naia has a flying dream.

I swear, this has to be building up to something.

When she wakes up, Kylan is already up staring at the mysterious writing again because darnit he wants to know.

Naia ponders some more whether urVa is truly alone in this dirt hovel.

From the limited belongings he kept, it was hard for Naia to believe he was completely solitary. Life in Sog was very different, with every family keeping their own stock of meat and preserves, ranging gear and ceremonial garments, spears and bola, trinkets and family treasure. The Spriton had lived in communion with one another, too, each village hut full of material evidence of life and family and the village as a whole. Even the Podling burrow they’d found had had that same proof... but should urVa one day pass away, or leave for another place, the only thing left of him would be the bare walls with the writing Naia couldn’t read. And even then, it wouldn’t take long for the wild and the elements to eat away those as well, and then there would be no record he had existed at all.

Somewhere, the Skeksis have just broken out into a cold sweat.

urVa interrupts her melancholy to offer her some ta, which is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. Since it has red steam once the water hits the herbs, which I’ve never personally seen tea do. But as a name, ta still has the feel of caf or choc where writers don’t want to be just so mundane as to have coffee or chocolate in their fantastical world.

Cough Star Wars Cough

Despite his size and dragging tail, he was surprisingly stealthy and was already halfway across the small den’s space, heading toward the kettle. As he walked, his spine snaked in a liquid motion from his head to his bulk.

This. This is some good description.

urVa makes a comment about having all three suns in the sky at the same time which makes me wonder if there’s a time when that doesn’t happen and what that does to day and night.

Ta apparently tastes tangy and like alfen fruit. Fascinating.

Naia asks for directions from the Black River and urVa just gets up and gets his stuff and sets out. He’s a show, don’t tell kinda guy, I guess.

The Dark Woods is some whole other animal after Naia healed it. Full of life and joy and new growth. They’re going to need a new name for it, probably.

When the group stops for lunch, Naia asks about the corded staff and feathered spears urVa carries and he explains that they’re bow and arrows and asks if she wants to see.

They leave Kylan to rest his feet and go to a ledge where urVa can demonstrate.

“Bow -- two ends connected by a single string. Arrow -- head and tail connected by a single shaft.”

“For hunting? They look like spears.”

“Bow and arrow do not hunt; a hunter hunts. I am not a hunter.”

Naia be like ‘doubt’ but she’s impressed when he fires an arrow.

urVa hands her the bow and she tries to use it but the thing is nearly as tall as she is and the bowstring is bowstrung with the expectation of a Mystic’s bulk and four arms. She doesn’t really have success pulling back the bowstring, even without an arrow.

He helps her pull back the string and she manages to shoot an arrow, although it goes bouncing off everything because she didn’t so much shoot it as lose her grip on the bowstring.

Neech wants to go chase the arrow because that’s what he do but Naia settles him down.

urVa chuckled. “We need a Gelfling-size bow.”

Oh there’s a really cool picture of Naia and urVa on the ledge. The art in this book is so good.

Naia shoots off a few more arrows, getting better at it. She also takes the time to examine the bow and how the string is notched, the amount of curve and the type of wood. She looks at all his different arrows too.

Each was unique, with a different engraving or colorful adornment. Some had glittering sea-green scales along the sides, some had feathers or barbed orange leaves. The arrowheads were an array of hard materials, from stones and claws to bone and ancient wood. One even appeared to be made of a tooth. Every arrow was different, made with painstaking care and detail.

I wonder if Naia takes and spreads this knowledge and that’s how archery among Gelfling becomes so widespread that Toolah in Beneath the Dark Crystal can use arrows to solve every problem.

I’d like to think so.

Naia offers to go retrieve the arrows she had fired but urVa just tells her he’ll make more.

She gets really antsy about this because of the craftsmanship of the arrows and how the tradition in the Sog is to retrieve your bola. It makes her feel a little like shit that such good arrows will be lost forever just so she could see how archery works. She goes to climb down anyway but urVa pulls her back gently.

“Ah, Gelfling, little Gelfling,” he said. “Let them go. They were made of Thra and have returned to Thra. Now that my quiver is nearly empty, I have room for new arrows.”

So there was a thing I saw in a magazine profile of urVa that said he was so good at archery because he knows when to let things go and it simultaneously annoyed and impressed me because I hadn’t quite reconciled archery with how the urRu usually are but the explanation made perfect sense and was also kind of wordplay.

But it really works here and it really works as a dynamic against which Naia can butt her head.

She considers sneaking down to retreive them anyway but he just keeps staring at her so she gives it up.

“A stone in each hand leaves no room for a fifth... Mm, or in case of Gelfling, a third. Holding on to things too tightly will prevent you from moving forward.”

He’s just super good at letting things go.

But this also doesn’t sit right with Naia and tries to argue the point that if you let go of the things you care about there’s no point in trying and that there are things that are more important than stones.

urVa didn’t argue, simply bobbing his head from side to side. Though she hadn’t really expected to change his mind, Naia felt a pinch of frustration when he didn’t reply at all, but she kept it to herself. It was fine to disagree, after all, so long as neither of them held the feeling in contempt.

Naia: ‘i came her for an argument!’

At least its not getting hit on the head lessons.

But, the more urVa the more I like urVa. People could learn a lesson from how chill he is.

Naia asks urVa whether the visions and phantoms the Cradle-Tree showed her were just illusions and echoes of her fears.

“Hmmm,” urVa murmured. “Yes and no.”

“Yes and no are opposites,” Naia said, though it pained her to state the obvious.

urVa’s point though is that the Cradle-Tree is a tree and can only show what’s already there. “If you heard it, someone said it. If you saw it, someone did it” but context is key.

This doesn’t really answer the question of whether it was real for Naia but I think she’s getting used to that at this point.

While on the arrow quest, Kylan has been dream-etching the words he saw in urVa’s hovel into his book.

“Smart one, this one,” urVa said with a chuckle ... “What words are for, you know. Passing along a message from one place to another, even when the original dreamer has, himself, passed along and gone.”

The group sets off again and they pass under where the broken bridge was. And nice scenery building, the broken bridge was actually a branch of the Cradle-Tree, broken due to its darkening. Nice. I like that it ties together.

But urVa draws their attention to a figure traveling along the ridge and tells the Gelfling that its looking for them and then shrugs when they ask how he knows.

“An archer knows the path of an arrow from either end.”

Another way of saying a hunter knows when he’s being hunted, Naia thought. At least sometimes his riddles made sense to her.

Naia doesn’t worry about their maybe stalker because there’s nothing she can do about it until the pursuer catches up except pick up the pace which she does do.

They arrive at a stream that urVa tells Naia and Kylan will lead them to the Black River.

“Thank you, urVa. And for showing us the way to the river.”

“May we meet again,” urVa replied. “Even be it in a different form.”

Uhhhhhhm I mean, I like the sentiment here but I have a sinking feeling that he is going to meet them in a different form and its not going to be as pleasant.

Cough the Hunter cough.

Naia: “He seems very wise, but what good is wisdom when it can’t be understood? I didn’t understand half of what he told us this entire time.”

That’s the Mystic experience for you, Naia.

Alas, I’d like more time with urVa but he has other plot to attend to and really he’s like a super high leveled guest party member. He’s a tension breaker. For the good of the story, he has to go shoot arrows to annoy Aughra.

Bye urVa. You were a delight.

[its-lxcked]

Septuple Solo Para: Well, Gang...

“Sammy, I mean it, I don’t care that we’re in Auradon. There’s no way in hell you’re gonna convince me a place is really haunted,” Sylvia is saying as Nancy walks over to sit with them at lunch.

“Look, I’m just sharing the rumor. Oh, hang on-- Heather!! Over here!!” Sammy waves to her new friend, gesturing to the seat she’d saved, smiling at her sister as well. “Hey, Nance. I was just telling Sylvia about the thing I texted you about.”

“The haunted, condemned house?” Nancy asks, because Sammy texts her about literally everything.

“Like, the what?” Heather asks as she sits down with Sammy, before remembering her manners. “Oh, right, like, I’m Heather, so totally nice to meet you. What’s up with the haunted house?”

“Nancy, Sam’s older sister, and that’s Sylvia. Sylvia and I are part-time amateur detectives, so when thinks get wonky, they usually get swung our way.” Nancy nods a bit with a half-hearted wave with a soda in her hand, before taking a swig.

“She’s also leaving out that neither of us believe in ghosts,” Sylvia adds on.

A tall boy walking by catches himself and staggers backwards at that comment. “Sorry, couldn’t help but overhear. You don’t believe in ghosts?”

“Uh, no, I really don’t,” Sylvia shrugs. “It’s always someone faking terrifying stuff just to keep nosy people away or to get insurance money for something. At the end of the day, Nancy and I unmask the bad guys and they go to jail.”

“Well, that’s not very fun. Mind if I pull up a seat?” He’s asking, but he swings his legs around a seat anyways with the girls. “I’m Grayson Fenton. 1/4 ghost myself.”

Nancy chokes on her soda, coughing for a moment. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a story, but the long story short is that an accident in my ghost-obsessed grandparents’ lab half-killed my dad. He and I can both transform between a solid form and...”

Grayson suddenly turns into a shadowy figure of himself, reaching out and passing his arm through the table before switching back and bringing his arm back up to rest on the table. “...well, my dad’s ghost form looks more humanoid than mine does, but you get the picture. Our job is to keep ghosts from wreaking havoc on the mortal world by making sure they stay confined to the ghost zone.”

Sylvia is sitting there, open-mouthed and looking completely and utterly horrified. Finally, finally, she chokes out a simple, “What?”

Grayson shrugs as Lily sits down across from Sammy, reading the looks on the other four girls’ faces. “What happened?”

“He’s a ghost,” Sammy points to Grayson.

Lily pauses and shrugs. “That’s Auradon for you, I guess.”

“One-quarter,” Grayson corrects. “And my job is to catch actual ghosts. Our gear for that is more than a little... unconventional. Like, check this out.” He pulls his Fenton Thermos out of his backpack. “This actually is meant to pull in ghosts and trap them for later release in the ghost zone. I’m... obviously not in the position to demonstrate it, as the only nearby even slightly ghostly entity.”

“That’s ingenious inventing,” says a boy looking over Grayson’s shoulder, forgetting that boundaries are a thing.

Grayson jumps. “Whoa! Do you mind?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, my bad. Oliver Robinson,” is the response, extending his hand to Grayson.

“...Grayson Fenton,” he finally meets, shaking the other’s hand, glancing at the girls, who all shrug simultaneously.

Nancy nods to the last open seat at their table. “You’re welcome to join us, Oliver. We just go severely off topic. We were on the haunted house.”

Oliver raises an eyebrow as he sits down. “We were on the what now?”

“I’m with him, but you have my interest,” Lily offers, sitting up a bit.

“Oh, there’s this rumor about some super haunted building on the outskirts of the city, guess the building got condemned but they weren’t able to tear it down because something kept stopping them whenever they tried. The theory goes it was the house’s original builder and owner,” Sammy explains.

“Okay, no, yeah, I am definitely in camp ‘random homeless man living in a condemned space and trying to keep people from tearing down his home’,” Sylvia instantly says, before munching on a carrot stick.

“That’s just it, they can’t find any evidence at all that there’s anyone in the house,” Sammy says. “I just thought it was cool.”

Nancy shrugs a bit. “I mean, I haven’t had a good mystery in a while. Or adventure as a whole.”

“Told you should’ve come to Annapolis,” Sylvia grumbles under her breath.

“Like, what happened in Annapolis?” Heather looks at Sylvia innocently.

Sylvia chokes on her carrot stick, holding up a hand and coughing and sputtering for a minute. “Absolutely nothing major, but it was a change of scenery.”

Nancy rolls her eyes. “What I’m trying to say is...”

...and that’s how, hours later, seven kids pile out of the van Sylvia had driven them over in, walking up the overgrown path as the sun sets behind them to an empty house.

“Okay, just because I brought it up doesn’t mean I wanted to tag along,” Sammy is grumbling a bit as Nancy passes out flashlights to the rest of them.

Heather nods. “Like, could we have at least come out here during the day?”

“Well, last I checked, we’re all going to school, so, not really, no,” Nancy points out. “C’mon, where’s your sense of adventure?”

“Nonexistent,” Sammy points out, still grumbling as her sister pushes the flashlight into her hands.

“C’mon, it’ll be quick,” Grayson shrugs. “I have a ghost sense. I get a specific chill when there’s a ghost nearby. You’ll even be able to see my breath. Then after this I think we can pester Sylvia enough to stop for ice cream.”

Sylvia rolls her eyes, clicking her flashlight on and pushing on the front door, shining her light in as it creaks open, not locked. “Ooh, that’s a sign. I don’t like that.”

Though it does lean more towards her theory that someone’s been coming and going. She presses on in and the others follow after her, with Heather taking up the rear of the group and taking a moment as the others fan out inside to look back over her shoulder and around outside to make sure there’s no threats out there before she follows them in.

Lily holds up a stick she’d grabbed from outside on her way up to the porch, using it to gather up some cobwebs and pull them out of the way. “This place does look pretty empty, I have to say.”

“Huh, that’s odd,” Nancy’s saying from another corner, poking her head around the corner of a doorway and then looking back in.

“What’s odd?” Sammy jumps at every little creak and casts a panicked look to her sister.

“The proportions of the rooms here. Almost like...”

Oliver walks over, knocking against the wall Nancy’s staring at and getting back a hollow thunk. “Oh, definitely a hidden passageway. Welcome to Auradon, older builds are bound to have them.”

“Yeah, but that’s like, castles and stuff, isn’t it?” Heather looks curious.

“Well, there’s gotta be a way to open it from here,” Sylvia takes charge. “Fan out, start pulling on things, especially things that would normally look like solid fixtures on the wall.”

Grayson pauses, then swaps to his ghost form and walks through the wall. After a second, the wall slides open slowly, and Grayson shines his flashlight out at them, his hand pressed against a button on the wall. “...found the trigger.”

Nancy laughs. “Score! All the rewards, half the effort. I like you. Let’s go.”

Sylvia grumbles under her breath. Sammy shines her flashlight in and squeals. “Ew!!! Ew, ew, ew, I am absolutely not going in there!”

Nancy sighs. “Fine, then we’ll split up. I’ll take Grayson and Lily and we’ll see where the tunnel leads. The rest of you can search the rest of the house. Sound good?”

The others nod, and Sylvia immediately starts to the stairs as Nancy presses onward. Heather sighs and sets a hand on Sammy’s shoulder. “I totally get it, don’t worry. Thank you for saying something, I didn’t wanna look like a wuss in front of a bunch of people who don’t know me.”

Sammy shrugs and heads towards a door on her right, underneath the stairs. Heather follows after her as Oliver heads up after Sylvia.

Sylvia had found an old bedroom and was just about to walk out when her foot nudges a floorboard, popping it right off. Glancing down, she blinks at the sigh of a box inside, kneeling down and picking it up, opening it up and gasping in shock. “Jinkies!”

“What?” Oliver walks over, peering over her shoulder at the box and letting out a low whistle. “Woooooow.”

“So, what do you think is going to be at the end of this?” Grayson asks, from the back of the pack.

“Could just be an emergency exit from the house,” Lily says in the middle, shining her light along the walls.

“I doubt that, though,” Nancy says, hanging a right with the tunnel and coming to a set of stairs leading down. “Oh, I definitely doubt it now.”

Carefully, she presses her foot on the first step, testing her weight against it and then stepping down. “They seem safe.”

“That’s reassuring,” Lily remarks dryly, but follows behind her nonetheless.

At the bottom of the stairs, they come upon a locked door. Nancy glances to Grayson, who passes through the door but then comes right back. “Nope. That’s actually a really, really complicated looking lock on the other side. More like a puzzle than a lock.”

Nancy nods and gets into her bag, producing her lockpicking tools. “Then this calls for plan B.”

“So, how often do you do this stuff?” Lily asks as she keeps her light balanced on the lock when Nancy kneels to break in the old fashioned way.

“I’ve been on cases since I was a little kid. It’s fairly regular work, I guess. You’re the mechanic, right?”

“Aye, that’s me,” Lily notes with pride, smiling a bit. “Your sister speaks highly of you, y’know.”

“She talks about you a lot, too,” Nancy remarks, pausing when she hears a click. “There we go.”

Pushing the door open, she gasps. “Oh, my, god.”

Sammy sighs as she runs her fingers over the desk in the study she and Heather had found. “I know the place is condemned and stuff, but if Sylvia and Nance are right and the problem is just a squatter, you’d think they’d do a little better job cleaning up the place. This is just gross.”

“Hey, like, take a look at this,” Heather responds, turning around with a paper in her hands that she’d picked up from an end table beside an armchair. “These are, like, financial records. And they’re, like, recent, too. The name’s torn off.”

“What? Let me see,” Sammy walks over, taking the paper from her friend and reading over them by the light of her flashlight. “Yikes. Whoever these belong to, they’re not doing so well. Wonder how these got here.”

Both girls share a look when they hear some floorboards creak behind them. A hand on her shoulder causes Heather to whip around and deck the strange man who’d grabbed her, and Sammy screams.

Sylvia and Oliver’s heads shoot up at the scream downstairs, and Sylvia frantically shoves the box they’d found into her bag as they tear back downstairs to find the girls, discovering Heather holding down a guy who’s grumbling beneath her heel.

“Who the hell are you?!” Sylvia snaps, now very suspicious given what she and Oliver found upstairs. He glares at them and doesn’t answer. Sylvia rolls her eyes. “I’m gonna see if I can get reception outside.”

“No need,” Oliver says, holding up a finger.

“Do you have cell service in here?” Sylvia raises an eyebrow.

“No, but I’m a Robinson. I don’t need cell service.” They come back with a small metal sphere from their pocket, hitting some buttons on the screen part and causing it to let out a soft, steady beep. “My dad’ll pick up on that and call the police and give them our location. We should check on the others, though. We can’t be sure this guy’s alone.”

“I’ve got him contained,” Heather says, pressing her heel into his back further to drive the point home. “Go.”

Sylvia and Oliver nod, and Oliver hands the small ball to Sammy before he and Sylvia head back to the secret passageway.

Nancy stares in shock at the bodies before them. Probably other people like the kids, nosy about the alleged haunting, who got too close to something. Though she’s not sure how to judge what would be considered “too close”. Grayson stays back in the doorway to make sure no one can sneak up on them from the tunnel or shut them in, but she and Lily press onward into the room. “I...”

“Nancy, I’m not the detective, but I don’t think that all of these bodies have come from just the past few months since the building was condemned,” Lily murmurs.

Nancy looks over to where Lily’s pointing her flashlight, at the skeletized remains beyond the first three they’d seen upon walking in. “I think you’re right.”

“We need to get out of here,” Lily says. “Before we’re next.”

“I concur with that one,” Grayson says from the door, but then looks up. “Someone’s coming.”

The girls look up and rush to join him at the doorway, relaxing when they see the two people who descend the stairs. Sylvia sighs. “Hey, there you guys are. Everyone okay?”

“We are. What happened up there?”

“Some guy tried to attack Heather and Sammy. Not sure exactly what happened, but Heather had him ground with a foot against his back. We came down here to get you. What’s in there?” Sylvia stretches up on her toes to peer over.

“We need to get back up there. NOW.” Nancy says, shoving through the group and taking the stairs two at a time back up the tunnel.

Oliver’s about to ask questions when he sees the bodies at the same moment as Sylvia, the two taking off after Nancy with Lily on their heels. Grayson glances back one last time before going ghost and shooting straight back up into the main house and then follows the sounds of a scuffle to find Sammy and Heather, Heather grappling with the girls’ would-be assailant.

As the others skid in, Sylvia draws her taser, trying to get a good lock on the guy. Heather seems to notice this and flips them into a position that only seems unfavorable to her for a moment. Sylvia nods and fires, locking the guy up and givine Heather a shot to properly restrain him.

Sammy still looks entirely stressed out. “This is why I hate the mystery business.”

“Okay, what is going on around here?” Oliver asks, not noticing Nancy over at the desk.

“That’s an excellent question, kid,” comes a voice, and the seven look over at the new person in the door. He holds up a badge. “Auradon PD. We got a call from one Wilbur Robinson regarding his son and some kind of emergency beacon?”

“That’d be me,” Oliver holds up his hand, reaching out and reclaiming the beacon from Sammy to deactivate it. “Oliver Robinson. I alerted my dad to our location when we caught this guy after he tried to attack Heather and Sammy.”

Sylvia looks up from where she’s been reading over Nancy’s shoulder. “Officer, I think I’ve just about got it all figured out.”

He and the others turn their lights to her. Nancy holds up the journal she’d been reading from. “This was left here by the original homeowner. He was a private man, and he had every reason to be. He was a cat burglar. Most of the money and jewels he stole were sunk into building his private residence, with a room to hide some of his bigger pieces hidden from any prying eyes. He even writes he plans to allow himself to die in there to throw off anyone daring hunt for his treasures. That’s the skeleton Lily and I found in the basement.”

“But he didn’t hide the most precious pieces with them,” Sylvia picks up. “Those were kept separate, somewhere he chose not to write down. I’m talking a minor fortune for any kingdom or any individual in jewels. He wrote of them, but not where they were hidden. Our new friend here was sabotaging the efforts of the city to tear down this house for fear the jewels would be lost forever, or unearthed by city workers and given to the museum. What I can’t figure out is why--”

“The financial slip!” Sammy exclaims, picking up that paper from where she’d dropped it. “Heather and I found this before the guy snuck up on us. The name’s missing, but whoever it belongs to is in financial ruins. Finding any of the original owner’s treasure would bail him out from a debt he could never ever escape otherwise.”

The officer looks impressed. “You kids are pretty good at this thing. But, I do have one last question. Where’s the missing jewelry?”

“I found it,” Sylvia says, reaching into her bag and pulling out the box she and Oliver had found upstairs. “I knocked into a loose floorboard in one of the bedrooms upstairs and this was under it.”

She opens it up, revealing the jewelry inside it to the group under the light of a collection of flashlights. Sylvia adds, “Like I said, minor fortune. Enough to buy your way out of debt, or... disappear and never be seen again.”

“Well, now, that’s impressive,” he says, in shock, but not really moving for anything else, staring at the box in Sylvia’s hands.

Nancy notices, instantly getting a bad feeling. “Officer, where’s your backup?”

The instant Nancy asks that question, he scowls, and that’s all Sylvia needs. She slams the box shut and tosses it to Grayson, who grips it tightly and focuses, turning both it and himself into a ghost and shooting outside the house with it towards the van.

Heather yelps as the guy breaks loose from her at last and ducks his swing, scowling. “I’ve just about had it with this.”

“I hate detective work!” Sammy yells as Lily brushes in front of her, trying to get them both out the door.

Sylvia scowls when the fake officer bears down on her. “Oh, hell no, I did not just survive Annapolis for a dirty cop and a wannabe crook to beat me.” She kicks him right between the legs and then shoves him over as Heather knocks aside the crook, and the rest of the group flees out the front door to the van.

Lily slides into the driver’s seat without even debating it, barely giving them time to all get in before she’s backing out, and Oliver slams the door shut behind him as they get into the road and screech off towards the police station.

As they get away from the house, Sylvia gets into a call in the backseat to get on with the station properly, saying something quieter at first and then speaking up rapidly as she looks behind them and sees the police car coming in hot after them, flying through a rushed explanation of the situation at hand.

Heather suddenly pulls out a star-shaped bottle of perfume, and Nancy notices. “IS NOW THE TIME FOR A PICK-ME-UP TO YOUR BEAUTY ROUTINE?!”

“Not at all,” Heather answers, reaching back and opening the back door and aiming outwards at the way-too-close cop car, spraying at it. The liquid that comes out immediately freezes the car, including the tires, and the two occupants are thrust forward at their windshield in the abrupt stop. Heather reaches out and slams the van door back shut, taking a deep breath. “I knew that one would come in handy.”

She looks back at her fellow passengers, who are no longer staring, and there are 5 and a half (Lily mainly keeps her eyes on the road) pairs of eyes on her. “I’ll tell the story once this is over with.”

When Lily pulls them up to the station, Grayson hands the jewelry box back to Sylvia and the gang heads inside, meeting up with officers who were appraised of the situation and giving them the rundown on everything they had uncovered and discovered at the house. It takes a while to get everyone’s individual statements, but soon, the kids are let go... after getting to see their two would-be attackers brought into the station in cuffs, anyways.

Back in the van, Sylvia reclaims the keys to drive them back to the school, but everyone else is looking at Heather, who sighs.

“Okay. So, like... I’m a spy. I work for an agency called the World Organization of Human Protection, or WOOHP for short. Our mission is to keep the world safe from crazy supervillains with convoluted evil world domination plans, and we also work in security details for world leaders. WOOHP is trying to establish ties here in Auradon, and one of the ways they did that was by sending an agent undercover into the country to help keep everyone at home appraised of things that are happening here so we can offer aid in the biggest situations. What you saw in action back there was the Ice Queen Perfume, which is just liquid nitrogen in a bottle, essentially, that instantly freezes whatever it comes into contact with when sprayed. All my gadgets are made to look like typical teenage girl stuff so that, like, if someone found my spy stuff, they wouldn’t know what they found.”

Sylvia casts a glance at Heather in the mirror. WOOHP. She’d run into them in Annapolis, too, and they’d tried recruiting her before. But she wasn’t interested in that.

Though she wonders if Heather might have been the agent they met in Annapolis. Just briefly. Then, she pulls the van into a parking spot at the school, killing the engine and... sitting there.

They all do, for a minute. Nobody moves to get out, and nobody says anything for a long minute.

Then, Nancy clears her throat. “We made a great team back there.”

“Yeah,” Grayson says. “I mean... it was actually kinda...”

“Fun,” Oliver finishes the thought, and the others all nod in agreement.

Sammy bites her lip, then closes her eyes and clears her throat. “I’m gonna hate saying this, but... let’s do this again, guys. I hate the mystery business, but that was... fun.”

“I’m in if you’re in,” Heather says instantly.

Lily nods. “Aye. Count me in, too.”

“I’m down,” Nancy says, as Oliver and Sylvia both nod in agreement as well. All heads turn to Grayson, who sighs, and sticks his hand out into the center of the group.

“Let’s do this.”

The others pile their hands in on top of his quickly. Sammy pauses. “Okay, but guys, we need a name.”

“Can’t be Mystery Inc.,” Sylvia jokes. “That’s kinda taken.”

“Mystery Gang?” Oliver volunteers.

Nancy wrinkles her nose. “Nah, too similar to our parents. The Clue Gang?”

“No, no, wait,” Heather says. “Like, what about... The Clue Crew?”

The others look at each other at that and nod. Sylvia laughs. “On three. One... two...”

On three, they all break with a dorky exclamation of, “The Clew Crew!”

[minijenn]

Random Keys/UF Crossover Ideas

Because I’m torn between both of my projects right now and I hate myself, here’s something that’ll only really appeal to the very niche audience of people who read both Universe Falls and Keys to the Kingdom. Basically its a list of somewhat spoilery (for Keys more than UF) headcanons of what it might be like if the Gravity Falls world scheduled to be in Keys was a Universe Falls world instead (in the sense that it still takes place in Gravity Falls physically but like... its set in the universe of Universe Falls (oy I’m explaining too much lemme just start rambling off the random ideas that have been popping into my head over the last several days of this hypothetical crossover of my two stupid fanfics):

For reference’s sake, on the UF end of things, this would take place somewhere around the middle of arc10ish, pretty close to Weirdmageddon as the GF world in Keys is gonna take place pretty close to Weirdmageddon too. 

For Keys, the trip to this world would still take place in the same spot the GF world does, so semi close to the end of the story, as one of the last Disney worlds of the fic (guess it wouldn’t really be a “Disney” world here but ehhhhhh) 

Guess I better give some context about what’s going on in each fic around that time; UF’s is easier to do so we’ll start with that; basically without spoiling a certain upcoming arc ender too much, during arc 10, everyone’s sorta frazzled what between all of the interdimensional travel, worries about Bill coming back and causing chaos, worries about the Diamonds possibly getting involved in stuff, shaken by the recent revelation that Rose allegedly shattered Pink Diamond and so on (basically there’s a lot going on in the leadup to UF’s ending hahaha) 

Context for Keys (again without getting too spoilery (gotta tread even more careful here) is that by this point in the story Sora is basically in nonstop Panic Mode about the whole norting thing thanks to a certain encounter with one Bald Old Fuckhead during the Aladdin world immediately before this; so Sora’s on the run from basically his entire support system cause he’s all worried about unintentionally hurting his friends (and he also just doesn’t want Riku or Kairi in particular to see what’s happening to him cause Disaster Bi). 

Cont. Context for Keys cause that last bullet point was Long: Despite all this fuckin Angst, Sora’s still out searching for the Keys on his own in the hopes of securing the final few for the guardians of light before he can be fully norted and forced into handing them over to the Organization instead 

Not to mention those freak relatively dark/light powers of his are alll outta whack cause he A. Doesn’t know how to control them At All and B. Is Emotionally Distraught so that’s only making things worse

And the entire gang is more or less out searching the worlds tryin’ to find Sora (he yeeted his Gummi Phone off a fuckin cliff or something just so nobody could get in touch with him smh what a waste of a perfectly good cell phone); among the teams that are out doing so include the one we’re gonna focus on here, Ven and Roxas  

Back to the UF end of things, I wanna talk about where each of the Mystery Kids are at this point; Steven is sorta all over the place with, again, the revelation that his mom could have been a murderer; Dipper is hella nervous about the idea of Bill getting his hands on the Rift (even moreso after RMD cause PTSD is Somethin Else kids), Mabel is in that mindset of not wanting the summer to end so they can all stay together, and Connie is basically (as usual) the only one with any brain cells as she’s trying to hold the gang together

(lowkey spoilers for the Keys GF chapters start here) So Sora arrives in Gravity Falls, suffering from all the angsts and anxieties and whatnot and just Not Having a Very Good Time Emotionally/Mentally as he starts lookin around for the Key in the woods or whatever

But lo and behold everyone’s favorite Evil Corn Chip just so happens to be spyin’ on him, and before too long Bill makes his appearance and acts all friendly to Sora, claiming that he can basically undo the whole norting thing (which he knows all about because of course he would, this is Bill Fucking Cipher we’re talking about here)

Sora’s skeptical but at the same time he’s sort of willing to do whatever he can at this point to keep his heart from being taken over by Mr. Bald Old Fuckhead and all Bill is asking for in return is for him to nab some sparkly snow globe that he claims already belongs to him but was stolen by some local family who Bill makes out to be pretty bad so hey, why not at least give it a shot? (dumb, the kid is dumb this is something we’ve established many times over by this point)

So Sora sets out to look for both the rift and the Key (while also being harangued by Xemnas who’s the Org. baddie of the GF world but errrrr i don’t have a ton of ideas about what he’s gonna do yet so we’ll just skip over that for now and focus on somethin else)

Something else being the fact that Sora happens upon a bunch of kids being attacked by a group of Nobodies, so he swoops in to save them even though the kids already look like they’re holding their own pretty well against them (two of them are out here swinging swords around, one’s really handy with that grappling hook while another one has some sort of magical shield? Its weird??? But cool imo) 

So they all team up to take the Nobodies out and following that, Sora meets and mostly hits it off with the Mystery Kids

Mabel is super hype (she kinda instantly crushes on Sora as soon as she sees him even though he’s too fuckin old for her); Steven and Sora radiate the same sort of Sweet But Sad energy so of course they’re best friends immediately 

Connie’s a lil bewildered by Sora (who the hell goes around swinging a giant key like its a sword, that’s just not practical???) but Dipper’s distrustful radar is instantly raised for a a number of reasons, but the biggest red flag he notices about Sora by far is that his eyes are yellow (btw by this point his eyes will more or less be completely yellow and his hair almost entirely white; he usually wears his hood up to try and hide that, but it got blown off during the forementioned fight) 

So the kids were out and about in the woods for mystery hunting reasons, mostly cause they were trying to cool their heads from all of the stress they’re under mentioned earlier (and cause hey, the summer’s ending soon and they gotta spend all the time they can together at this point) 

However, they quickly change gears when they learn about Sora’s quest to find some magical Key and they all eagerly decide they wanna help with that cause it sounds hella rad; Dipper would likely be the only dissenter to this plan, but he’d be lowkey about it, kinda deciding to keep a suspicious eye on Sora all the while (he doesn’t really act like he’s being possessed by Bill, but ya can never be too sure nowadays...) 

So they all set out in search of the Key (Sora decides not to tell them about Bill or the rift just yet, but even so right off the bat he’s basically decided “yes I’m adopting all four of these kids as my new little brothers and sisters and no one can stop me”)

So cut to the other end of things and we have Ven and Roxas who have basically only just met each other face to face for the first time (they’re both basically constantly doin that spiderman look alike meme); they’ve been more or less teamed up to look for Sora together tho, and they both got a massive guilt complex about the whole thing cause they used to be able to directly protect him inside his heart but now they can’t since they’re out of it so they’re determined to find him and make sure he’s OK

They also show up in Gravity Falls, arriving much closer to the Mystery Shack and the Gem Temple than Sora did; since its the closest thing nearby, the boys decide to venture over to the Mystery Shack to look first 

After some brief, confused yet fun conversation with Soos and Wendy, they bump into Stan and that initial meeting goes something like: 

Stan: Who the hell are you two supposed to be? You twins or something?

Roxas: No??? What the fuck is a twin??

Ventus, realizing that Roxas has like 0 real world experience or regard for world order at that moment right fucking there: (oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck) Ummmm YES WE ARE WE’RE TOTALLY TWINS AHAHA AREN’T WE BROTHER?

Roxas, immensely confused: What the hell is a brother??

And then Ford shows up and Roxas looks between him and Stan is just like “ooooh ok now I get what a twin is” and Ven is just like “oh my god I think Roxas managed to catch some of Sora’s stupidity after all asdkjalsdkalsd” 

Anyway after all this awkward confusion is over, Roxas and Ven bring up that they’re there looking for someone, and while neither Stan nor Ford are that invested, they do offhandedly mention maybe the Crystal Gems can help

Ironically enough, the Gems happen to burst into the shack right then and there, taking refuge from the surge of strange creatures swarming outside (Nobodies & Heartless); the Gems are rather overwhelmed by them since their weapons don’t work that great on them so they’ve come to seek Ford’s help (since he’s got all those weapons and lasers and shit he keeps stockpiled) 

In this Ven and Roxas end up meeting the Gems and both of them are just like :O (Ven’s lowkey like, “Aqua would get along great with these ladies, they’re total badasses just like her!”) and the Gems just kinda pass the boyos off like “yeah whatever there’s a fuckton of monsters outside meanwhile where are our kids?”

Stan and Ford are like *shrug* cause neither of them are very good at being Responsible when it comes to keeping an eye on these danger-prone kids and the Gems are just like *facepalm* “Morons” so they set out to find the kids and Ven and Roxas are like “well they know their way around here so why not go with them to see if we can find Sora too!” and so they all head out on a lil adventure

Then a whole bunch of stuff happens on both sides of the plot that I haven’t bothered to figure out; bunch of cute character interactions and whatever; insert possible second encounter with Xemnas in here somewhere where he basically shows up just to intimidate Sora but Sora’s like “no way jose, you touch any of these precious kiddos and you’ll Die” 

Somewhere in here, under... some circumstances, Sora and the MK make it back to the shack but like... everyone’s gone? (cause they all went out to look for them, didn’t even leave a note, fuckin rude) 

They search the house for anybody and then, on complete fuckin accident, Sora finds his way down into the basement (the portal room to be exact) and what else does he find down there but that thing Bill asked him to get (the rift)! 

Though he’s a little confused about why its there (Bill did say some awful family “stole” the rift from him, but none of the MK are awful, they a bunch of Good Kids); Sora still pockets it like a desperate dummy dumb anyway and doesn’t say a word about it to the kids because he thinks they might be too innocent and young to know anything about it anyway (he’s wrong of course because much like him these kids are Traumatized with a capital T but we’ll just ignore that for now)

Still on the search for that Key, Sora and the kids head out only to run right into Stan, Ford, and the Gems on the way out; course, Ven and Roxas are still with them and they see Sora and they’re like :D while Sora’s just like “aw fuck” and runs away from his problems like always

So he rushes off into the woods and who else would show up but that Motherfuckin Evil Corn Chip again who’s like “yo kid ya got the stuff” and Sora’s just like “brb having a panic attack rn” but then he ends up obliviously handing the rift over anyway cause again he’s incredibly desperate for any way out of his current horrible situation

Of course because I’m a sap for Drama, he happens to do so just as all four of the MK show up, having followed him into the woods and ohohohoh boy oh boy let’s just say them seeing Sora just up and giving the rift over to Bill would be a Moment (well, at least for Steven and Dipper cause they actually know what the fuckin rift is unlike Mabel and Connie who still wouldn’t at that point) 

So basically Bill is a little shit and takes the rift, but he can’t actually fuckin do anything with it cause he’s a physical object and he’s still intangible (or somethin like that idk I just don’t want Weirdmageddon to happen cause it would make things too complicated) so he’s like “fuck gotta find some stupid sap to possess so I can smash this dumb thing” and he nearly targets Sora (cause the kid was already stupid enough to help him in the first place so why not?) until Steven ends up being the one to fend him off using his shield 

Bill shrugs it off and makes off with the rift anyway (its like... hovering or something? idk I’m running out of steam) and everyone panics of course, especially Sora cause he’s just like “well shit I certainly Fucked Up didn’t i?” and the MK are both a mix of “YOU THINK?” (from Dipper and Connie mostly) and “imo not your fault Bill’s tricked just about all of us he’s an asshole” (from Steven and Mabel)

Amidst this a bunch of lil things also happen; the Stans and the Gems show up (along with Ven and Roxas), basically everyone is immensely confused (aka those who have no idea what the fucking rift is) and alarmed (those who do know what the rift is) that Bill has what he needs to more or less fuck the entire world over 

So everyone just decides to put everything aside and team up all together to track Bill down and get the rift back before he can break it (there’s a lot of heartwarming trust moments in here, mostly cause trust is like... the cornerstone theme of the GF chapters in Keys for obvious reasons) 

They eventually do find him and *insert big epic battle scene here* where everyone teams up to basically beat Bill to death or whatever (don’t ask me how they be doin that if he’s intangible, again I.... I’m tired and this post is long enough as it is) 

Yadda yadda yadda they beat him, get the rift back and effectively prevent Weirdmageddon from happening to begin with (which just does SO much wonderful fuckery for UF’s timeline moving forward but whatever, this ain’t about that) 

Oh and during that Climactic Battle Scene somewhere there’s some bit about Sora learning to better trust others/himself that leads to him getting the world’s Key? I-I I dunno its a work in progress...

Anyway after this there’s a lot of good character interactions all around, reconciliations between the UF characters and the Keys characters, particularly between Sora and the MK (again he’s adopted these kiddos and don’t you forget it)

So with the Key in hand, Sora starts to leave and Roxas and Ven almost convince him to go back with them until *insert Big Keys Spoiler here that results in the Organization getting their hands on that Key Sora just got and also results in Sora running away again cause... reasons*

And that’s the end of the chapters or whatever idk 

There’s probably more ideas I had in mind for this but I literally can’t do anymore my brain is dying 

I might possibly write this for reals someday i dunno I’m stuck in two personal hells here so I might as well combine ‘em

Yes I’m aware this post leans more heavily on Keys than UF but its set in the world of UF so fuck off 

Feel free to add on with any thoughts you might have about the idea

I’m tired

Amen 

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 218

Last time, Videl got destroyed in her first-round match with Spopovitch.    Well, not literally destroyed.  I forgot what kind of show this is.  Spopo just beat her up pretty badly, to the point where Goku headed out to get her a senzu bean.    Backstage, Mr. Satan is so mad at Spopovitch that he takes all the press microphones and crushes them up into a ball.   Make no mistake, Mr. Satan is no one you wanna mess with.   He’s a weakling on this show, but only because the heroes can all fly and blow up whole cities.  

This also underscores just how strong Spopovitch must be, because Videl’s supposed to be even stronger than Mr. Satan, so she could probably crush twice as many microphones, and she still lost.

The thing is, Spopovitch was no match for Mr. Satan at the 24th Tenkaichi Budokai, held several years ago.  

He also looked a lot healthier back then.

So how could Spopovitch have beaten Videl so easily?   Mr. Satan has no idea, so his only guess is that Videl just got extremely careless.   And I guess that’s not entirely untrue, but I don’t think he’d be saying that if he had watched her match.

So what’s holding up that senzu bean?   Well, Goku wants to eat first.  Okay, fine, but did Korin and Yajirobe just happen to have all this food lying around?   Well, Yajirobe’s here, so maybe it makes sense.   Remember when Korin only ate like one fish every five years or whatever it was?    Back then, he had a whole pot full of senzu beans, and nowadays he barely seems to have any.     Blame Yajirobe.

Korin wonders why a dead guy even needs to eat, and Goku explains that he doesn’t, but the food is tastier here in the living world.   That sounds kind of tragic, really.   Anyway, he wants to sample as much cuisine as he can before he leaves Earth for good.

Finally, Goku returns with the beans (they only had three, thanks a lot, Yajirobe), and Gohan asks everyone to hold off on his upcoming match with Kibito until he can give one to Videl.   

While all of this is going on, we check in on Vegeta, who doesn’t really care about Shin, Kibitio, Spopovitch, or that Yamu guy.   He’s got a one-on-one match against Goku, and that’s all that matters to him.  Hold that thought.

So Gohan gives Videl the bean, which is kind of a tense moment, because Videl trusts Gohan, but Mr. Satan thinks he’s giving her candy, and the people taking care of Videl have no idea what this is about.   

So, this right here sums up what makes this ship so romantic.   Everything Gohan does around this girl is mysterious and wonderful, and she’s totally blown away by it every time.   Meanwhile, for Gohan, all of this stuff is no big deal, or things he wants to keep quiet because he’s worried about how she’ll react.   “Um, hey, my dad got some magic healing beans from a cat he knows, nbd.”     For Videl, this is all like that “A Whole New World” number from Aladdin, only Gohan’s worried that she might not like the pattern on the carpet.    

Anyway, he leaves and she swallows the bean, and she’s healed immediately, and it’s adorable.   

So now it’s finally time for the fourth match, Great Saiyaman vs. Kibito, only Gohan lost his head wrapping when he turned Super Saiyan last episode.    So when his friends from high school spot him, he just looks like Gohan in sunglasses, and they realize it’s him.  The funny thing is that they don’t quite figure out that Gohan is really the Great Saiyaman.   He might only be impersonating the real Saiyaman to enter this tournament anonymously.    Come to think of it, Gohan’s whole disguised entry in the tournament here is sort of a callback to his mom’s appearance at the 23rd Budokai.   Huh.

Okay, so Toei didn’t know what to call Great Saiyaman’s head wrapping either.   Good.    I kept wanting to call it a turban but it really doesn’t look like one, and I don’t think “bandana” or “do-rag” works either.    Anyway, Gohan hears his friends cheering for him and realizes his secret has been exposed, so he tosses away his sunglasses.

NO YOU DID NOT WORK “SO HARD” TO DISGUISE YOURSELF.    YOU BLEW IT WITH VIDEL IN LIKE TWO SECONDS, AND YOU SPENT THIS WHOLE DAY HANGING AROUND YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, WHO ALL CALL YOU “GOHAN” IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, EVEN WHILE YOU’RE IN COSTUME.  THEN YOU TURNED SUPER SAIYAN IN FRONT OF EVERYONE HERE, AND YOU FORGOT TO PUT YOUR DISGUISE BACK ON.    ARGH!

So with that out of the way, Gohan turns his attention to Kibito, who immediately demands that he turn into a Super Saiyan.   Dude, he already did that last time.    Were you not paying attention?

Nearby, Yamu and Spopovitch are scanning the ring with some doohickey of theirs.     It apparently senses energy.    Is it just me, or does it look like they pasted Spopo’s head on after drawing the rest of this cel?     It just looks kind of silly to me somehow.    I bet if you could look at the cels for this episode, there’d be one of just Spopo’s head for this.    I’m not sure why, since they don’t move in this scene.  

Speaking of that, I always wonder about fans who collect animation cels.   Like, where do you go to buy those?    There’s probably thousands of them out there, but it’s weird to me, because I think of it as a very limited supply.   Like if I got into that sort of thing, I guess I’d want some cels of Perfect Cell or Movie 12, but I wouldn’t be surprised if all the really good ones got collected years ago.   But there’s probably a ton of Yamu and Spopovitch cels out there, especially ones that don’t look very cool, like just a picture of Yamu’s left arm or something.    Can you buy those?   Or do they even bother putting them up for sale?    Or have they all been bought up by one devoted Spopovitch fangirl?

Gohan isn’t eager to play along, but Piccolo gives him a telepathic nudge to cooperate, since he’s the only one who knows who Kibito and Shin really are.    He doesn’t know why they want Gohan to transform, but it must be important.    Shin then asks the others to stand by for whatever happens next.

Vegeta demands an exaplanation, and Piccolo informs him that Shin is the Supreme Kai, who stands above all other Kamis and Kais.

This seems to genuinely impress Vegeta, which I find odd, since he’s barely had anything to do with all of these godly types.    It always seemed odd to me that he knew what Piccolo fusing with Kami would mean, since he’d never interacted with Kami up to that point.    And he’s never met any of the Kais.    Maybe someone told him how King Kai trained Goku to defeat him and Nappa, but that would be the only point of reference I could see.

Meanwhile, there’s a match going on, or there’s supposed to be.    The fans had to wait just to get both of these guys in the ring, and now they’re just staring at each other while Gohan decides whether to transform or not.    Chi-Chi scolds the crowd, saying that her son’s about to do something cool, so everyone should just be friggin’ patient.   

Also, Videl is back, just in time to see this.    And she’s wearing the “FIGHT” shirt, which is my favorite Videl look. Well, most of it, anyway.

And... yeah, I can’t get over Spopovitch’s head.    What is the deal with this?

Anyway, Gohan’s like “I guess I’ll have to quit school.”   And he starts gearing up to turn Super Saiyan.    You’re making the right decision, Gohan.    The awesome decision.

[thisspaceintentionallyleftblank]

Try, Try Again (pt. 9)

(Cpt 1) | (Cpt 2) | (Cpt 3) | (Cpt 4) | (Cpt 5) | (Cpt 6) | (Cpt 7) | (Cpt 8) ||  (AO3)

It’s Rex Time, babey!

Chapter 9 (2069 words)

It had been one week since Rex first landed in Apocalypseburg. One week since he’d taken Emmet’s place and started working to change the way everyone saw him.

The plan was simple - he’d get them all used to the idea of Emmet being tough, perform a few mind-blowing feats, and then when Emmet came back he could just step right into Rex’s newly vacated shoes.

Except that when he came back, he wouldn’t really be Emmet anymore. He’d be Rex by then, so technically he would be stepping back into his own shoes?

Time travel is confusing.

Regardless, Rex was super sure that his plan would work this time. And now, a week since his arrival, it was finally time for the real showstopper. All he needed was for his guest star to make her dramatic entrance. 

As much as Rex was loath to admit it, his feelings towards his former friends were… complicated. His feelings towards General Mayhem, the Systarian who had utterly destroyed his life, were less so. Smashing her into the ground would prevent the Matrimonial Ceremony from taking place, further cement his “tough guy” image, and also scratch a very personal cathartic itch.

Rex was nearly beside himself with anticipation. Almost absentmindedly, he checked the wiring again on the jury-rigged apparatus he’d spent the whole morning prepping. Given the simplicity of the machine, he found his gaze quickly drifting back to the cloudless sky, hungrily watching for that tell-tale shooting star. 

Any second now, he thought to himself, a thin and crooked smile on his lips.

“Okay Mayhem, you’ve totally got this. Just stay cool, act tough, bring the guest back to the palace. Easy peasy.”

Looking into the eyes of her reflection in the ship’s windshield, General Mayhem tried to steel her nerves with a small but mostly confident smile. 

“You’ve been training for this for months,” she reminded herself. “Sure the Apocalyseburg guys are super tough and dirty and grouchy and scary and- ” 

She cut herself off sharply with a hard yank on the ship’s yoke that sent it into a tight spiral. It swerved nimbly, narrowly avoiding a collision with a dark-blue pod that had suddenly darted out from behind a nearby glastroid. Mayhem righted her ship swiftly, her thumb already hovering over one of its many triggers, but the other ship seemed to have vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.

Mayhem frowned, peering into the inky black void, but to no avail. She was alone again. 

“I, uh,” she settled back into her seat. “I was getting off-topic anyways. The point is that everything is going to be just fine. Once they come to the Ceremony and talk to the Queen, they’ll totally understand what we’re trying to do. They have to.”

The thought firmly in place, she tried to just focus on piloting. Usually, she found flying to be quite soothing, and while today was no exception, she still found herself relieved to be nearing the alien planet.

“Okay,” she whispered to herself, firmly placing her helmet over her head. “It’s showtime.”

The ship fell out of hyperspeed and began to streak along the desert landscape. As she drew closer to the wreckage of Bricksburg, a myriad of flashing sensors began beeping steadily. 

Slowly, she wove through the crumbled buildings. She hadn’t personally been here for a while, and from what she could see, the place was looking worse off than ever. The last time she had, uh, “visited”, the former citizens of Bricksburg had taken to hiding in secret bunkers scattered throughout the destroyed city. This meant, unfortunately, that she now had the unenviable task of trying to find one of those bunkers now. 

She was peering at her scanner when an alarm on the dash suddenly began to wail. With a jolt of surprise, she whipped her head around to see an image illuminated on the viewscreen. There, helpfully outlined in red by the computer, was some kind of projectile that had been launched. 

“Computer,” she commanded. “Enhance.”

The image immediately zoomed in and somehow increased exponentially in quality. Before she had time to study it, however, the mysterious object exploded in a flash of light and smoke, spelling out a message against the gray sky. 

“Happy New Year?” She squinted down at the viewscreen in confusion. “It’s like, late June...”

Regardless of some calendar confusion, this flare was a clear sign of life. Plugging its approximate coordinates into the computer, Mayhem began to steer her ship towards Apocalypseburg, into the jaws of a waiting trap.

Apocalypseburg was in chaos. Specifically, it was in more chaos than usual. Someone had set off a flare on the outskirts of the city, and now the lookouts on duty were reporting an alien ship approaching at high speed. 

The custom vehicles that had been dispatched to deal with the threat had all been quickly and handedly destroyed. In the wake of their failure, the retreat signal had been given, and now a horde of citizens were thundering into the Bat Fortress. 

Rex watched the pandemonium calmly. He’d already sabotaged the Fortress, jamming the gears so that the door wouldn’t be able to close. It simply wouldn’t do if his audience was unable to see him in his moment of victory. 

Leaving his stash of stolen flares, he darted through the city, making his way to Batman’s spear turret. As he scaled the tower, it shuddered to life and started launching a barrage of sharp-tipped iron spikes towards the enemy ship.

“READ IT AND WEEP!” Batman was yelling, somehow still confident despite each of his spears crumbling against the ship’s reinforced shields. 

With a sick backflip, Rex leapt through the air onto one of the spears. Racing down its length, he reached the tip at the moment of impact, just in time to slam his fist directly into the front windshield.

The window broke instantly, a spiderweb of cracks spreading across its surface and into the metal of the ship’s hull as well. For a second, he and the ship hung there, suspended in the air together.

Then, in a rush of sound and power, the ship exploded.

A cloud of sparkly blue smoke poured out, quickly filling the surrounding area. The citizens of Apocalypseburg paused in their desperate mad dash for survival, every eye turning to stare at the place where the ship used to be. 

“Nailed it.” Batman fistpumped victoriously, then turned to address the stupefied crowds below. “Everyone saw me do that, right?”   

Below him, Lucy bolted out of the Fortress, into the smoke. She’d been searching for Emmet in the crowd moments earlier, but seeing him leap at an alien spaceship like some kind of lunatic had clued her into the fact that she was looking in the wrong spot. 

“EMMET!” She hollered, wading through the smoke. As she entered the area, her vision cleared slightly, enough that she could make out various chunks of rubble and debris strewn about her. 

A sudden movement attracted her attention. The silhouette of the Systarian appeared, crawling out from underneath a chunk of twisted metal. As Lucy approached, the alien staggered to her feet. 

Her visor, a deep reflective blue, had been split cleanly down the middle, and Lucy could make out a thin sliver of the face underneath. In a smooth motion, the alien drew a blaster from her hip and leveled it in Lucy’s direction.

“Not so fast!” Lucy called out as she leapt into the air. Twisting skillfully, she kicked the blaster cleanly out of her opponent’s grip.

Mayhem hissed in pain, and reached back down to her belt to retrieve her ship’s control device. Before she could activate the repair function however, a hand grabbed her wrist. 

Rex stepped out of the smoke next to the two women, surprising them both with his silent approach. With his free hand, he easily plucked the device away from Mayhem and crushed it in his fist. 

Behind her mask, Mayhem’s jaw dropped in shock. The Apocalypseburgers were prepared beyond anything she’d ever expected. She had no choice but to try and retreat.

With a grunt of exertion, she kicked up at Rex’s hand, breaking his grip on her arm just long enough for her to turn, activate her suit’s wings, and begin to fly off. 

“She’s getting away!” Lucy whipped her head side to side, scanning the area for parts to make some kind of net or cage with. “Emmet, help me find- ”

Before she could finish her sentence, Rex leapt into action. Parkouring between the pieces of rubble, he quickly matched Mayhem’s altitude and jumped onto her back. One hand tightened on her wing, the sharp plastic edges digging uncomfortably into his palm. Unsurprisingly, his other hand balled into a fist and rammed directly into the center of her back.

Mayhem screamed, a distorted and garbled sound, one the speakers of her mask seemed ill-equipped to handle. One of her slender blue wings fell to the ground, followed soon after by Rex and herself. 

Lucy ran over to where the two of them lay prone and fell to her knees beside them.

“Emmet?” She asked, her voice trembling, as she pulled him into her lap. “A-are you okay?”

He didn’t respond. For a second, it looked like he was going to pull away from her, to try and lunge at the alien again, but the smoke had cleared enough now that the rest of Apocalypseburg was beginning to descend upon the scene. 

“You guys did it!” A voice cried out from the crowd.

“Let’s hear it for Emmet and Wyldstyle!” Another one crowed.

As everyone continued to cheer for the two heroes, a single figure broke away from the revelry, marching authoritatively towards Mayhem’s still form. Bending down beside her, Scribble Cop produced a pair of handcuffs and clicked them tight around her wrists. With a huff, he slung the alien up over his shoulder and began to carry her off. 

“Where are you taking her?” Rex asked coldly, finally pulling himself out of Lucy’s embrace and to his feet. “To the Slammer?”

Scribble Cop answered with his usual frown and growl combo, but also nodded. Rex nearly followed after him, but Lucy’s sudden grip on his arm stalled him in his tracks. 

“Emmet?”

He turned to face her, only to find some unfamiliar expression in her eyes. She glanced at the crowd momentarily, then pulled him behind her into an empty alleyway nearby. 

“Emmet,” she asked again. “What was that out there?”

“What do you mean?” Rex answered, genuine confusion in his voice.

“I- you-” Lucy stammered. “You hit her.”

“Well, yeah.” Rex barely stopped himself from sneering. “She’s an enemy.”

“She’s also a person.” Lucy replied, bewilderment clear on her face. “It’s not like we were fighting a giant monster or a robot or something.”

“Are you… mad at me?” Rex drew back from her. “Why are you acting like this? Punching stuff is tough. It’s what we do.”

“No! I mean, yes, it is tough. I just meant that we could have stopped her in a different way.” 

“I think,” her voice grew soft. “I think you might have really hurt her.”

Rex was quiet for a moment. What would Emmet do, he wondered. He’d probably just agree with Lucy. He’s say anything for her to be happy with him again. 

His gut curdled at the thought.

He wasn’t sure he could even force the words out. Lucy was wrong, not Rex. If he hadn’t used his Master Breaker technique, then General Mayhem would already be well on her way back to the Systar System, ready to come back with more reinforcements in tow.

What Rex did was necessary.

“You wanted me to be tougher,” Rex’s chin trembled with barely suppressed rage. “But now that I am, you’re still unhappy?”

“Emmet,” Lucy sighed. “That’s not what I’m trying to say!”

“THEN WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?” Rex screamed. His whole face felt red-hot, like all of the anger he’d been pressing back had begun to literally boil over. 

Lucy stepped back. Her mouth moved, trying and failing to form a response as her brain short-circuited on her. Rex watched for a second as she struggled, taking bitter satisfaction in the hurt and confusion in her eyes. 

Finally, without a word from either of them, he turned on his heel and left. 

[upsettlspaghettl]

Empire City Con 2019

I can say with confidence that this has been the best weekend of my life. People will be so quick to say that the Steven Universe fandom is one of the most toxic fandoms out there, but in all my years of going to conventions, this has been the most welcoming and friendly by far. Now, this could be because it’s a convention based on one singular fandom, as opposed to the mishmash of fandoms that gather at other conventions, but even Bronycon was nowhere near this level of welcoming. Then again, I only got the chance to go to 2 Bronycons so I don’t know if I can say much.

The flight to North Carolina was surprisingly not that bad. I’m very prone to getting lost, but I left 4 hours in advance and I didn’t even need those 4 hours. But this was my first time ever flying somewhere completely alone.

I got the chance to meet Deedee Magno Hall, who signed my Guide to the Crystal Gems. Now it’s my goal to get all the character pages signed. But it’s got all the fusions of season 1, so chances are I won’t ever get the chance to get Sugilite’s page signed. Oh well, a fan can dream, right? Just kind of a bummer because she happens to be my favorite fusion.

She also validated my OC ship with Yellow Pearl which was super cool of her. Deedee is a really sweet person. While waiting in line to meet her I made friends with a kid, and he was fanboying like crazy. Later on we met somebody else, and we all did karaoke together. Then they got to do a group Karaoke with Deedee, which I was unfortunately too nervous to join. She said she would try do one with me but we never got the chance, but either way I’m so grateful. She’s a really kind person and I hope I can meet her again!

My part in the karaoke was still really fun though. Me and my 2 friends were having a hard time figuring out what song to do, and since the instrumentals were live, the people playing only had a limited number of songs they could play. Eventually we agreed on Stronger than you. But the instrumental team couldn’t play that one, so one of my new friends asked everybody to sing along and be inclusive. I got to to do the Peridot rap onstage too! Only me and 1 other person in the audience did that though so it was really scary and I fumbled a lot... but I’m still so happy that I got to because it was just such a good time for everybody.

There was actually a garnet cosplayer who’s act was right before ours and they were still by the karaoke lineup, so one of my friends asked them to come join us. Toward the middle of our act, this same friend spotted a Jasper in the front row, dragged them up on stage, and we had an adorable fake fight scene. I had to hop off stage right before the song ended to hug somebody in the front row who was crying. I was relieved to hear that they were tears of joy. In the end, they invited my group to sit in the front row with them.

Right, and Garnet’s act! They actually sang the original SU opening in German which was super amazing. Toward the end, there was a Pearl cosplayer in her Mr. Greg tuxedo who sang It’s Over isn’t it with Deedee, and a Yellow Pearl cosplayer who did an amazing Yellow Pearl-y take on Do it for her. So yeah the variety of acts was fantastic and the whole thing was just so feel-good all around.

At the very end of the karaoke, after everyone had gotten a chance and we were all just hanging out in the karaoke room, I was given a Spinel promo pin by a Mystery Girl. Not literally a Mystery Girl cosplayer, but somebody who I thought was just... well, somebody. They mentioned having extras from the movie screening in CA, and were handing them out to Spinel cosplayers. Of course I was hopping up and down being super thankful to an awkward degree, like I normally do.

That night, I told my roommates what happened, and they told me just who that Mystery Girl was. None other than Mackenzie Atwood, creator of the Pearl’s Secret Rap Career series. My facial recognition is terrible, so I didn’t realize at the time. I was lucky enough to run into her again the next morning during breakfast in the hotel lobby, so I got to thank her personally in the end.

Speaking of Mystery Girls, there actually was a Mystery Girl cosplayer who was especially awesome. Not even ten minutes after arriving at the convention, I see 2 Spinels who welcome me into their Spinel group. A Mystery Girl cosplayer is with them, and they hand me a pair of shoe squeakers. They look like tiny clear whoopie cushions, and Mystery Girl was handing them out to all the Spinels. I don’t know about everybody else, but mine drew a lot of attention from other con-goers because I was super happy and energetic at this con so I ran everywhere I went. People were always laughing and it made me so happy that I was able to make people smile. I’ll definitely be using them again in my future Spinel cosplays.

One of the people I shared a hotel room with was a Spinel cosplayer on the first day, and they were carrying an amazing Spinel plushie that I remember seeing a photo of on Deviantart, and later showed up for sale on Etsy. It was super expensive and I remember wanting it, but I couldn’t be jealous because I know I was super lucky to even see the thing in real life!

On the second day, I met a sweet little girl who seemed to think I was the real Spinel. She drew me a picture of Baby Spinel, and I gave her my drawing of Baby Spinel which I’d made earlier that day in the quiet room. Later on, one of the convention organizers was holding a game session, and this kid crushed me in a round of Gem Gem Clod... which is Duck Duck Goose, but better. Note to self: playing games that involve running when wearing pink high heeled boots probably isn’t gonna go well!

After some games, we made some meep morps. Somebody started a trend of drawing Lion on the little canvases we were given, but my Lion wasn’t coming out quite right, so after I finished drawing his head I just. put it on one single leg. You’ve heard of Leg Pearl, now get ready for Leg Lion. I was super happy about that too because I made everybody laugh.

Once we ran out of canvases, the organizer offered to take polaroids of some of us, so now me and this adorable little kid had matching photos, which we put in tiny pink frames and put a Spinel gem on each.

oh also! the game organizer had a tattoo on their leg of a bunch of anime characters, mainly the cute “squad mascot” archetype. There was Hawk, Happy, a few other characters, and Keroro! I totally freaked out over Keroro because it’s a relatively obscure series, and it was the first show that really got me into anime! I’ve always loved things like Pokemon and Naruto, but Keroro Gunso was my gateway to the anime community as a whole.

At around noon, I spent a little more time in the room where the games were held, which had some board games of its own, books, and art supplies and overall functioned as just a room to hang out in. There I met a Pink Diamond cosplayer in a pink schoolgirl uniform and an Uravity hat (really cute outfit!), and a goth Spinel cosplayer. The Pink Diamond cosplayer was a great artist and drew a really cute magical girl Steven. These 2 people also taught me what a vsco girl was when they were joking about the fact that Pink Diamond would totally be one. I was super confused but it was really funny after they explained it.

There was a cosplay fashion show much later in the day and I made friends with a Ruby and Sapphire while sitting in line. They were a couple irl and went on stage together and they were adorable! They were also both Hazbin Hotel and Harry Potter fans, so we had a lot to talk about. We kept talking while we waited in line for the Sadie Killer and the Suspects concert too, and a few other people joined us. I’d only just met these people but I really felt surrounded by friends.

Earlier in the day, while I was waiting in line to meet Kinetic Cosplay, I ran into an amazing Sour Cream and Buck Dewey. I got their photo, only to later see them on stage as a part of the real life Sadie Killer and the Suspects. Jenny Pizza was also on stage, but I didn’t see her before that.

While the convention was great, something also happened that scared the hell out of me. At NYCC just last month, I bought some very tiny stickers, one of which was Froppy from BHNA. When I got home and unpacked, it was gone. I thought maybe it fell into the fabric of my backpack, and if it did, there was really no way to retrieve it unless it decided to fall out again. However at the convention... I was at the registration table, decorating my con badge. I pick up my phone, and suddenly the Froppy sticker falls out of nowhere. It looked like it came from the phone, but I can’t imagine where it would have fit and gotten stuck. It kinda just fell out of the void. Either way I’m glad to have it back.

Lets see... I also got some pictures of the real life Mr. Universe van... and later on I ran into the owner of the van in full Mr. Universe gear.

The Garnet cosplayer was Cotton Candy garnet on the second day and I still can’t get over how sweet and nice they were.

There were some family cosplays. On the first day I saw a Yellowtail carrying a baby doll dressed as Onion, and then on the second day the same person was with a Vidalia cosplayer, and an actual child dressed as Onion.

There were also a pair of parents dressed as Connie’s mom and dad, and their kid dressed as Connie.

On the first day there was a Mr. Smiley which was super cool and unexpected, and then on the second day they were Bismuth. There were actually 3 Bismuths in total at the con which was surprising because that wig looks super difficult to make. Anyone who can pull that off is amazing!

The last day only went on until about noon, but my flight didn’t leave until the next day. I didn’t book my hotel room for that night because I wanted extra time in case I got lost on the way to the airport. Turned out there were free shuttles. I ended up in the same shuttle as that Pink Diamond cosplayer and her dad, and she showed me this adorable RPG game app called Wholesome Cats. We took some snapchats together and now I know what I’d look like as a boy...

Since there was a shuttle to the airport, that meant I was super early for my flight. Super early as in, almost 12 hours early. After going through security, I was planning to just sleep at the gate, but my gate number wasn’t on the screen. So I asked an airport employee, and he told me that I wasn’t even supposed to be let through security until the next day, which was when my gate number was supposed to show up... whoops. It wasn’t so bad though, either way I’d just be hanging out at the airport for the night. I decided not to sleep though, just in case. It felt weird late at night, when the airport was more or less completely empty. It was so nice and quiet, and the Starbucks was still open so I had a super yummy dinner of pumpkin bread and cheese danishes.

I think that’s about it? If you wanna see pictures, I’ll be posting them all to a public album on Gnomie Leviton on Facebook, and I’ll also select a special few to post on QueenGnomie on Instagram.

If you add me on FB please tell me your url! I only add people who I've talked to before.

In conclusion!

This was by far my favorite convention I’ve ever been to, because you could literally just go up to someone, start talking, and you’d immediately have an awesome new friend. I’ve never been to a con before where every single person was so approachable. It really felt like everybody there was one big family. I already have a potential roommate for next year, so I really hope to get back on my feet soon so I can go!

[gayfraphne]

scooby-doo and the curse of the 13th ghost review

WARNING: contains spoilers, as well as my unsolicited opinion. read at you own risk folks.

i’ll start off by saying, i really liked curse of the 13th ghost. it certainly wasn’t groundbreaking, but i had a great time watching it and i’m happy it exists. that being said, there were a few things that made me scratch my head a little bit.

the movie starts with a sepia filtered flashback of vincent van ghoul and his lover mortifer (not really but,,,,, we know how to read between the lines WB) capturing ghosts in the chest of demons. the scene ends with mortifer having his fucking soul devoured by ghosts and dying right there in front of my seven year old eyes. i literally screamed.

the title sequence absolutely sent me. it was really good on its own, but i love how it actually explains the whole plot of 13 ghosts, because i never actually saw it.

next we get a classic mall chase scene. there’s a hilarious moment when they’re chasing the suspect up an escalator, and fred tells the gang that they can’t run because it’s too dangerous, so they all have to stand on this escalator while tacky elevator music plays before continuing the chase. fred’s being an asshole to daphne in this scene to emphasise how attached he is to his leadership position, and daphne (like the bad bitch she is) ignores him and catches the guy they’re chasing herself, to emphasise that she’s much smarter than fred. not that much smarter, however, because it turns out they caught the wrong guy. they interact with the sheriff, who tells them that they’re too sloppy, and that once they turn eighteen (which is coming up quickly) they might end up serving jail time for harassment charges. with their best interests in mind, he tells them they have to quit solving mysteries. the scene worked, but it wasn’t very realistic. legally speaking, you can’t arrest someone for driving in their van (as this guy threatened to do).

next we see the three minute long scene that was released as a promotional clip on youtube of the garage sale at what i assume was daphne’s house, despite being tiny. a man named bernie alan tries to buy some stuff off them, but his check bounces (a reoccurring joke throughout the rest of the movie). vincent calls, tells them he needs help- blah blah blah.

daphne introduces the gang to her own van- which nearly sends fred over the fucking moon. especially when he can’t drive it because it’s a stick shift and, as we all know, FRED JONES CAN’T DRIVE STICK. honestly, that boy is adorable.

so daphne drives as fred sleeps on her shoulder like the angel he is- but things go awry when a car surrounded by green smoke tries to run them off the road. we find out why this is later, but it doesn’t.... really make much sense.

they get to vincent’s house, daphne and fred bicker some more, and shaggy decides to head off with scooby in search of snack-shaped clues. daphne asks velma to keep an eye on “lewis and bark” leaving her alone with fred. her crystal ball starts glowing, and they follow it throughout the mansion. velma, shaggy, and scooby have some classic mishaps, while fred and daphne do some classic fraphne things, such as forgetting that two people can walk next to eachother, and entrapment, and undermining each other’s intelligence. they all meet back up when velma and the boys fall through the ceiling and land on top of them. (shaggy jokes, “mind if we drop in?”) they find vincent, as well as the demon asmodeus, and this is where things start to kick off. vincent tells shaggy and daphne to trap asmodeus in the chest of demons, but shaggy says that he mailed it to vincent’s place in the himalayas when school started. vincent explains that it wasn’t his home, but rather an air b&b he’d rented at the time, and that he never got it- so they have to fly to the himalayas to track down the chest in the mail.

you know how movies and tv shows  that can’t afford the rights to certain brands will use cute little puns- to tell the audience what they’re talking about without saying the real trademark? it’s done multiple times in the movie, but in a way that’s very self aware. vincent refers to his air b&b as an “air boo & boo,” his iphone as a “die phone,” and countless others that i forget. but everyone around him is like “oh my fucking god can you talk normally please-” telling the audience that they were staying at an actual air b&b without having to use the name- but still being normal about it. it was a nice touch. as was “captain rogers, not for vanity reasons, but because when you have the lives of so many people in your hands, it’s better to think of yourself as the office and not the man- and also a little bit for vanity.” that’s right, folks, shaggy flies the plain. and it’s golden.

when they land in the himalayas, the first thing they notice is bernie alan, the check bouncing fiend. they decide to split up- shaggy, scooby, daphne and vincent follow him to the temple, while fred and velma go searching for the lost package. the next bit of the movie cuts between the two storylines, but i’ll just tell them separatley.

fred and velma show up at a deserted post office, and naturally go rummaging through the back to find shaggy’s lost package. instead, flim flam catches fred in a net. i don’t think we ever learn why he was in the post office. flim flam takes them to the novelty store he works at and shows them his various chest of demons memorabilia (mostly coolers, which he’s only ever sold one of) but when fred says they’re looking for the real thing, he brings them to his ghost-hunting store instead. fred finds a cool scooter and asks to drive it-  to which flim flam replies “sure! you can drive stick shift, right?” luckily he’s only kidding and fred get’s to destroy the scooter in the background while velma and flim flam argue over the existence of ghosts. fred and velma leave, and fred admits to velma that he feels useless now that daphne’s stolen his job as the leader. he even laments that he “can’t even do background shenanigans right!!!!!” before the scene has the oppurtunity to become cute and uplifting, the two of them get snatched into the air by an unknown force.

daphne’s crew are following bernie alan, but he manages to lose them. before they know it, they’re being stalked by the same car that tried to run them off the road earlier. the car’s loud engine starts an avalanche, resulting in the world’s longest “oh no!! we’re falling down a mountain!!” bit- which is then followed by a second identical bit as the car causes another avalanche immediately after the first. they wind up trapped in the temple with asmodeus and the chest of demons. there’s a cute little musical chase scene to a super catchy disco song, and a slightly uncomfortable bit where shaggy and scooby dress as monks. asmodeus tries to kill them, but vincent uses his magic to beam daphne, shaggy and scooby out.

daphne is about to break down sobbing because she thinks vincent is dead- when suddenly velma and fred fall from the sky. fred, being the little fucking legend he is, says “mind if we drop in?” they’re all down in the dumps for various reasons, and daphne says that it’s time to go home, and that there’s nothing more they can do. seeing his gang about top give up, fred reveals his darkest secret: while daphne and shaggy were catching the ghosts, he wasn’t just at any camp- he was at CHEER CAMP. THE ONLY KIND OF LEADER FRED IS IS A CHEERLEADER. it’s funny at first- hysterical in fact- but he does a cheer that lasts just long enough for everyone (characters and audience alike) to start feeling sad for him. but freddy jones is flippin away, doing back tucks over daphne’s head and throwing her in the air, and his enthusiasm encourages daphne to make a plan to catch asmodeus.

fred and velma head back to flim flam’s shop to ask for his help (but mostly his gear) and fred realises that the reason he can’t drive stick is because he’s been trying to use the parking break instead of the clutch. now he’s hell on wheels, and manages to run the random car that’s been following them off the road and into the abyss below. 

meanwhile, daphne, shaggy and scooby skydive down into the temple from above (”i can’t jump out of a plane!” “that’s okay, i’m going to push you!”) and find vincent. they link up with fred, velma and flim flam, and the latter jokes that all they need now is scrappy, to which velma asks “what’s a scrappy???” and there’s nothing better than the idea of a timeline in which daphne and shaggy just kept scrappy’s existence a secret all these years.

vincent reveals that asmodeus is actually his dead relative, which is cool, but everything goes downhill when they realise that asmodeus is a fake, and that he’s actually mortifer, vincent’s supposed dead lover, wearing a suit. then bernie alan the check bouncer is actually an interpol officer slash figure skater, and the swat team shows up.... they really lost me there. it was a disappointing resolution to say the least.

the final scene was probably my favorite. the gang are loading up the plane, and fred and daphne stare off into the sunset, and fred tells daphne that he’s been wrong about her all along, and that she’s such a capable leader, and that she’s the engine that makes the gang run. daphne replies “i might be the engine, but you’ll always be the driver” which is equally as adorable as it is true. they give eachother MAJOR HEART EYES, but fred- physically unable to let a heartfelt moment last more than three seconds- pulls away and asks if captain rogers will let him try flying the plain. daphne says sure, but only if he promises to stay away from the parking break. fred shakes his fist at god and curses velma’s name.

velma explains to everyone that ghosts aren’t real and that the 13 ghosts were all a hallucination, which..... fuck everyone involved in that decision. we realise that the chest shaggy mailed was actually the one cooler sold by flim flam (a nice touch). to prove her point, velma almost opens the actual chest of demons for funsies but thinks better of it, and then the gang hits the skies, where they’re all flabbergasted to find that scooby doo is the one flying the plane. the end.

it’s a good movie, no doubt- and was almost a perfect one. everything seemed to crash and burn as the demon turned out to be fake, and then everything else was fake, and then bernie alan was a figure skater in a fat suit... for some reason. had they gone with literally any other ending, it would have been great. 

the fraphne subpot felt a little underwhelming... maybe it’s just that i’m a hardcore shipper, but i felt like the resolution to their plot wasn’t big enough. they spent the whole movie building tension- i was sort of picturing that they’d have a big fight. but... nope. he just did a few backflips and everything was peachy.

again, i loved the movie. i don’t know if i’d put it in the top five, but definitely in the top ten. it had a lot of fun aspects and great character building. i’m really excited for return to zombie island, but also kind of scared. first of all, how do you make a sequel to something that happens when they’re 30 when they’re only 17?? also... pls don’t make the cat creatures fake. also... *slides writers a 20*.... fraphne kiss. just sayin.

[doomedandstoned]

Meet TEL: The New Face of Richmond Doom

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

"Cold, depressive, melodic sludge doom from the river city..."

Some music awakens carnal instincts; some appeals more to the cerebral side of human nature. If Pallbearer is a bit too heart on the sleeve for your taste and Unearthly Trance isn't quite feeling enough, then perhaps TEL will seem the idea balance of the poles. The vocals are sung with an air of lament (at times even mystery), with excursions into murky growls (a nod to the stormy nature of emotional life). A welcome injection of Sleepish psychedelia puts this Richmond, Virginia quartet in a category all its own. In fact, 'Lowlife' (2019) might be one of the more interesting admixtures of doom metal styles I've come across in a good fēowertyne niht.

As this is likely your first meet-up with Dante DuVall (vocals), Michael Potts (guitars), Matt Grigsby (drums), and Ed Fierro (bass), I decided to reach out to the guys to get us all better acquainted. Tel frontman DuVall was kind enough to humor my questions, and his answers will lead us right into the first single from the band's full-length debut.

The Band

"Michael and our drummer Matt played together in a black metal band known as Tond a few years ago, and ended up leaving around the same time. They started Tel together, I think roughly three years ago, and the former bassist and I found them through Craigslist. I've been with the band since late autumn of 2016. We recorded a demo and a single before the original bassist left. We brought in Ed, as he plays with Michael in another band, Desert Altar. He's been with us a little over a year or so now. Two of the songs had been written a little bit before Ed joined, whereas we wrote the remainder of the album after he was in the picture.

"I may get some details mixed up about the bands we're connected to, as the family tree here is super connected and intertwined. Michael and Matt played in black metal act Tond a few years ago and left before the band split up last year. Michael and Ed have played together, as mentioned, in their stoner metal band Desert Altar since 2015. Ed is also in another band known as Omen Stones, which started just last year. I was also the lead singer in a doom metal band called Lair, who I was with from late-2017 until a little after we finished recording Lowlife, which was in fall of last year."

The Album

"Two of the songs on the album ("Submerged" and "Red Level") were written between Michael and our former bassist. The remaining three songs were a bit more collaborative. Michael wrote a good portion of the riffs, though Ed and I also wrote a few of our own and threw them into the mix. Matt will kind of jam along to whatever we have whipped up and kind of decide how the song will flow with the pacing and the transitions. We'll all make our own suggestions in terms of arrangements and nuances that we think will make the song cooler, so it feels like we all contribute a good bit to the songwriting."

Themes

"I came up with the lyrics and song titles of the album, as well as the title, Lowlife. Basically, whenever I joined the band, I was struggling to come up with material. I initially wrote more occult and nature-based kind of lyrics, but the words just never flowed right. So, instead I decided to write about my own personal thoughts and experiences, mostly negative shit to be honest hahaha. There songs are all about topics that have affected either me or people I've been close to, like coping with mental illness, recovering from traumatic experiences, and simply doing one's best to make it through life in spite of whatever hardships are at hand. It has been a pretty great release for me to sort of open up about these topics in music, even if having other people hear or read it can be a bit nerve-racking at times."

Recording

"As for the recording process, we actually got to record with none other than Garrett Morris of Windhand. He approached Michael and offered to record Michael and Ed's other band, Desert Altar, but at the time Desert Altar had just released their first album, so Michael got Garrett to record us instead. We spent a weekend at Windhand's practice space, recording the album on analog. The first day, all instruments were recorded live. The second was all vocals. It was an insanely cool experience, Garrett really exceeded our expectations as to what we wanted this album to sound like. We had wanted it to have kind of a raw, gritty sound, and I feel as though Garrett was able to accomplish that."

Gear

"As far as gear on the album, Michael used a Gibson SG Standard through a Hughes and Kettner. Then for the second guitar track he played through Ed's Orange Thunderverb. Ed played a Gibson Non-Reverse Thunderbird bass through an Orange Thunderverb."

תל

Look out for Tel's Lowlife releasing March 29th on vinyl and compact disc c/o Aural Music (pre-order here). Today, Doomed & Stoned presents you with the second track, "Submerged."

Give ear...

Lowlife by Tel

Some Buzz

“Tel” is a Hebrew term (תל) which describes a civilization breaking itself down and building over its mound - a term that sums up a band whose music breaks down the boundaries that separate the sub-genres of metal and builds itself into an eclectic mix of elements. The band formed in 2016, reigning from Richmond, Virginia; the land where the likes of Windhand, Cough, and Inter Arma have made themselves known.

Each of the four band members set out to explore his own creative freedom and bring his own influences to the table, creating an unusual blend of hypnotic clean male vocals, intricate guitar leads, thick bass grooves, and hectic drumming.

A three-track demo of raw and atmospheric sounding sludge/doom was unleashed, and a handful of intense live shows were played around town, before a lineup change and some personal struggles slowed progress down for a while. However, inspiration never ran dry, and the four piece continued to experiment and write more material, leading to the creation of their first album.

Daybreak by Tel

'Lowlife' (2019) was recorded on a hot weekend in early September by Garrett Morris (the guitarist of Windhand, who has also recorded for the likes of Cough, Bat, and Electric Wizard) and mastered by Dan Randall of Mammoth Sound Recordings (known for his work for bands such as Iron Reagan, Ghoul, Cannabis Corpse, and many others).

The debut album consists of five songs that bridge the gaps between the spacious doom of Yob, the raw sludge of Acid Bath, the progressive tendencies of Mastodon, and the sorrowful atmosphere of Katatonia. The bleak melodies, personal lyrics, and ominous artwork portray true stories of genuine hardship, allowing the music to serve as a cathartic experience for its songwriters and for the listeners who can relate to it.

'Lowlife' will be released on March 29 2019 via Aural Music. The album's five songs bridge the gap between the spacious doom of Yob, the raw sludge of Acid Bath, the progressive tendencies of Mastodon, and the sorrowful atmosphere of Katatonia. Produced by Garrett Morris (the guitarist of Windhand, who has also recorded for the likes of Cough, Bat, and Electric Wizard) and mastered by Dan Randall of Mammoth Sound Recordings (Iron Reagan, Ghoul, Cannabis Corpse, and many others).

Follow The Band

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[mindingmyownbusiness]

Duet

Pairing - Bucky Barnes x Reader Prompt - “I love it when you sing.” Summary - You’ve just figured out that the mysterious voice you hear singing through the vents is none other than the Winter Soldier himself. Now the only question is, what do you do with this newfound information? Warnings - n/a, just adorable fluff, it’s sorta my thang Word Count - 3026 Notes - Written for @true-queen-of-mischief and her 600 follower writing challenge, congratulations! I know this is hella late, it’s 100% my fault, thank you for being patient, I hope it’s worth it! Song lyrics pulled from “Wanted Dead Or Alive” by Bon Jovi, “Death of a Bachelor” by Panic! At The Disco, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” by Frank Loesser, and Dirty Dancing’s “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life”.

My Masterlist

Stripping off the last of your combat gear with an exaggerated groan you tossed it in the corner of your bathroom on top of an embarrassingly large pile of dirty clothes. Guess I know how I’ll be spending my weekend. You started the shower, setting it as hot as you could stand and spent several minutes just letting the heat and the steam relax your tired muscles. Note to self: thank Tony for the endless supply of hot water in this place. You grudgingly went through the motions of washing the last remnants of the mission from your skin and hair, more eager than ever to collapse into the comfort of your bed.

Shutting off the water you reached for your towel, the details of the mission swimming through your mind. You started absentmindedly humming along with the singing coming from… wait, singing..? I didn’t… where is that coming from…?

It's all the same, only the names will change Everyday, it seems we're wastin' away... Another place, where the faces are so cold, I drive all night, just to get back home

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride I'm wanted, dead or alive Wanted.. dead or alive

Looking around for the source of the sound you quickly realized it was coming from the vents. Wow, whoever that is they are really good. You smiled to yourself, listening until the voice gradually faded away. Looks like someone on the team has a hidden talent. But who…?

It didn’t take long to figure out, especially with FRIDAY’s helpful assistance. With your room being at the far end of the floor your bathroom and the bathroom for the person across the hall were positioned right next to each other, much closer in proximity than anyone else’s. It had to be him. Freaking Bucky Barnes. You felt your cheeks warm just at the thought of him. There was no denying you harbored an attraction for the supersoldier. Strong, protective, a gentleman, and now I find out the man can sing? Is there anything he can’t do? Sighing you flopped down across your bed, Bucky’s crooning voice filling your thoughts as exhaustion finally claimed you and you fell fast asleep.

Training had been super intense that morning. You appreciated the new moves Nat was teaching you but that didn’t make your muscles hurt any less. Desperate for a shower you decided to skip breakfast and just grab a snack instead before heading to your room. As you entered the kitchen you saw Bucky rummaging around in the fridge, humming quietly to himself.

“Hey Barnes, toss me a bottle of water?” Grabbing an energy bar from the pantry you turned and saw that Bucky hadn’t moved. “Buck?” Still nothing. You raised your voice slightly. “Bucky!” Is he ignoring me or what? After a moment of hesitation you stepped close enough to poke him in his ribs causing him to jump and hit his head against the fridge door.

“Dammit! What the hell..?” He gingerly rubbed the back of his head with his flesh hand and yanked out his earbuds with the other. “You know (Y/N), it’s never a good idea to sneak up on an assassin. Not if you value life and limb.” He was trying his best to hold a serious face but you could see just a hint of a smirk edging in.

“And here I thought it was impossible to sneak up on you. I would say my skills are improving but that would be a lie.” You smiled apologetically, gesturing towards his earbuds which were still pumping out the faint strains of something. “Sounds like maybe you were really into whatever you were listening to…?”

“Huh? Oh, right…” He pulled his phone from his pocket and paused the music. “Yeah, Shuri set me up with this music app and Steve and Sam have been making some suggestions. Just trying to get caught up ya know.” He shrugged his shoulders, scrolling through his playlists.

“Hey, um I have that app too... If you want I could share some playlists with you?” You bit your lip feeling shy all of a sudden.

“Ah.. yeah, yeah I’d like that.” Bucky handed you his phone with a small smile and you made sure the two of you were connected through the app.

“I’ll see what I can put together for you then.” You grabbed your stuff and headed for the door, smiling like crazy once you rounded the corner on your way to your room and a much needed hot shower.

A few minutes and several gallons of water later you heard it again, the beautiful baritone of a certain handsome brunette floating out of the vents...

Do I look lonely? I see the shadows on my face, People have told me I don't look the same... Maybe I lost weight, I'm playing hooky with the best of the best, Put my heart on my chest so that you can see it, too

A girl could get used to this. You grinned, taking your time drying off so you could enjoy every single note.

I shouldn’t feel weird, right? Just because I’m actively trying to figure out when Bucky is going to be showering so I can eavesdrop on him singing? Hahaha, that’s not creepy at ALL. You groaned and buried your face in your hands at the breakfast table. This was an argument you’ve been having with yourself for weeks. It was almost as if you’d become addicted to his voice, the more you listened the more you wanted and if you were being honest with yourself, the more you listened the more you wished he was singing to you.. for you. And it had only gotten worse when he started singing songs from the playlists you’d been sending him. I swear if he sings Shawn Mendes again I’m gonna need a cold shower to follow my regular shower.

“Hey (Y/N), you ready for our run?” Thankful that your mental conflict was interrupted by the Captain you nodded your head and hopped up to do a few stretches. For once you were looking forward to a good run. The days had finally started to turn cooler and there was just something about fall transitioning into winter that excited you and made you want to get out in it. Way more motivating than running in hundred degree heat for sure, not that Steve noticed with all the supersoldier benefits he ended up with. “Good. Bucky and Sam are gonna meet us downstairs.”

Cool weather and a rear view of the Winter Soldier? Now that’s something I can get behind. You giggled quietly to yourself, earning a curious glance from Steve as you entered the elevator. “Just um, something funny Nat told me earlier. You know her, so funny…” You smiled weakly and cringed inwardly but fortunately Steve was distracted by your arrival at the ground floor. The four of you exchanged brief good mornings, not wasting any time before you literally hit the ground running. You and Sam paired off behind Steve and Bucky, soon finding your groove, laughing together every time you got lapped by Steve on Sam’s left and Bucky on your right. After about an hour of this you and Sam headed back to the tower to hit the showers. As you stepped into your bathroom you couldn’t help but smile thinking of how by the time you were done Bucky would surely be starting his own shower and you couldn’t wait to hear his song choice today.

Wrapping your towel around you, you paused, sure you had heard something... but no. Great, now my mind has decided to play tricks on me. Shaking your head you turned to head back into your room but you just couldn’t stop yourself from gravitating back towards the vent, leaning against the wall just under the opening. You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back against the smooth surface. What are you doing (Y/N)… just go get ready already, he’s probably not even in… there…? Your face slowly morphed from a mask of frustration into one of absolute awe as the first strains of one of your favorite songs of all time floated through the vent and into your ears.

Hmm-mm-mm-mm... Baby it's cold outside, Hmm-mm-mm-mm... But baby it's cold outside, Hmm-mm-mm-mm-mm... Been hoping you'd drop in, Hmm-mm-mm-mm... I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice…

You slowly slid down the wall, sitting on the floor and smiling wider than you had in quite awhile, humming along at first but slowly slipping into the lyrics with practiced ease:

(My mother will start to worry) Beautiful, what’s your hurry, (My father will be pacing the floor) Listen to the fireplace roar, (So really I'd better scurry) Beautiful please don't hurry, (Well maybe just a half a drink more) Put some records on while I pour…

Getting lost in the music you imagined what it would be like for you to be singing with Bucky for real, in person. You could see it so clearly, you and Bucky, bundled up together in a nest of blankets and pillows in front of a roaring fire while snow fell outside. What I wouldn’t give… You smiled at how easily your voices fit together, your volume gradually increasing as you got more and more into the song:

(The neighbors might think) Baby it's bad out there, (Say what's in this drink) No cabs to be had out there, (I wish I knew how) Your eyes are like starlight now, (To break this spell) I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell, (I ought to say no no) Mind if I move in closer, (At least I'm going to say I tried) What's the sense of hurting my pride, (I really can't stay) Baby don't hold out, Baby it's cold outside!

Your eyes flew open and you froze, suddenly realizing that your voice was the only one singing that last line. Oh no no no no… Scrambling to your feet you held your breath, listening for any sound that might reassure you that Bucky didn’t hear you but you were only met with silence. You cursed inwardly, wringing your hands and pacing around your room. Maybe… maybe he doesn’t know it’s me? You groaned out loud. Oh who am I kidding he’s totally gonna figure it out. Okay, okay... let’s not get hysterical now, I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? You took a deep breath only to release another defeated groan. Well he could be super pissed and never speak to me again. Okay, yeah that pretty much sucks.

Completely wrapped up in your thoughts you barely registered the persistent knocking at your door, absently crossing the room to open it. “Alright, alright I’m coming! Seriously can’t a girl go through a crisis in peace…?” That last word died on your lips and was followed by what could only be described as a very undignified squeak as your eyes took in the sight of one James Buchanan Barnes, slightly out of breath and standing in your doorway. He was shirtless and wearing Jesus take the wheel only a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair still wet, wet enough that drops were randomly falling onto his very muscular and did I already mention this well let me say it again very naked chest, lazily travelling the length of his torso down past his abs to… SNAP OUT OF IT WOMAN! Quit being a perv and look at his face!

Meeting his eyes you felt the butterflies in your tummy start to churn. “B-Bucky..? Hey, um what are you--?”

“That was you, wasn’t it?” His words rushed out at you, tinged with just enough of a sense of urgency to kick those butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy.

“I, um, what do you, I-I mean what are you talking about?” Your efforts at keeping the nervousness out of your voice were failing and you couldn’t stop your fingers from fidgeting.

Bucky took a second to look down the hallway then stepped into your room, lowering his voice. “Just now?” Your attempt at a clueless face only made him roll his eyes. “Singing, in the shower? That was you, right?”

You swallowed nervously, looking away as you realized it was pointless to keep trying to deny it. You nodded slightly, your worry bleeding into your voice now. “Are.. are you mad at me? I-I haven’t told anyone I swear!”

He shook his head slightly, rubbing his hand over his face with a sigh, “Geez doll, no... I’m not mad, I’m not... I don’t know what I am…”

Now that the truth was out your word vomit just kept coming. “I just.. I love it when you sing. You sound so good and you know the words to like everything and---”

“Wait…” Bucky narrowed his eyes. “ Exactly how long have you been listening to me sing in the shower?”

You cringed but it was too late now. “Um… a few months?” Bucky just stared at you with his mouth hanging open. “I know, I know, I should have said something and now that it’s all coming out I realize I totally invaded your privacy but.. ugh what was I supposed to do? Barge over there and tell you to stop? Now that, that would be the real crime.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say doll, nobody was ever supposed to hear me anyway.”

“Are you kidding? Bucky you are amazing, like super talented. Four chair turn on The Voice good, I swear!” Before you could talk yourself out of it you reached up to cup his jaw, gently turning his head so his eyes met yours. “Hey, music is obviously a part of you. I get that you’re not ready to share it with everyone and I respect that. But… I’m not gonna apologize for not saying something. I meant what I said, I love it when you sing.”

“Well.. thanks, doll.” Smiling down at you Bucky leaned in for a hug but immediately jumped back, looking you up and down as if just now realizing that both of you were barely covered. “Holy hell doll you, you’re just in a… and I’m only… I, uh..” He was getting more and more flustered by the second and it was all you could do to suppress your giggles.

“Wow... I didn’t know a blush could go that far Barnes. Eyes up here, soldier.” Bucky’s eyes shot back up to yours, wide as saucers and his body super tense like he might dart any second. “Relax Buck, it’s fine, promise. Listen, how about we both put more clothes on and you let me take you out to lunch as my way of making amends. We can even go to that diner you’ve been dying to try. Deal?”

It took him a second but to your relief he relaxed, that lopsided smile that you loved finally making an appearance. “Deal, but I’m driving.”

“So karaoke night, huh? What brought this on (Y/N)?” Natasha slid into the seat next to you as the crowd erupted in cheers for Tony’s rendition of The Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go”.

“Come on, do I really need a reason to plan a night out with my friends?” You bumped Nat’s shoulder and she smiled at you over her drink. “Plus, who doesn’t love karaoke? I mean, you can’t let a little thing like total humiliation get in the way of having a good time.”

“I’m all in,” Sam shouted from across the table. “It’s been way too long since we all got together outside of a world ending event. Heck, you even got Barnes to leave the tower for once. Where is he anyway? Don’t tell me he’s skipped out early.”

Before you can answer the music for the next singer starts. Everyone’s attention is turned back toward the stage where a tall, muscular man is sitting on a stool. A curtain of hair is obscuring most of his face and a distinctive metal arm is glinting in the spotlight.

Now I've, had the time of my life, No I’ve never felt like this before. Yes I swear, it's the truth, And I owe it all to you--

“Holy sh--” Sam looks at you, then back to the stage, then back to you, his mouth trying to form words but failing.

“Pick your jaw up off the floor, birdman.” Grinning like the cat that got the cream you patted him on the cheek. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe that’s my cue.”

'Cause I've, had the time of my life, And I owe it all to you...

Bucky takes your hand, helping you onstage then kissing your knuckles with a wink and a smile.

I've been waiting for so long, Now I've finally found someone to stand by me.

We saw the writing on the wall, As we felt this magical fantasy.

Now with passion in our eyes, There's no way we could disguise it secretly. So we take each other's hand, 'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

Being up there with Bucky, singing your heart out, you swore you’d never been happier. And you were so glad you finally convinced him that this was the perfect way to tell everyone that you were officially together.

Just remember You're the one thing, I can't get enough of So I'll tell you something, This could be love Because I've, had the time of my life, No I never felt this way before. Yes I swear, it's the truth, and I owe it all to you…

As the song ended Bucky pulled you into his arms, kissing you breathless until the whoops and hollering from your friends and teammates had you both laughing too hard to continue. “I love you, doll,” Bucky pressed his forehead to yours, grinning from ear to ear.

“I love you too, partner,” you kissed him once more before dragging him off the stage and over to where everyone was impatiently waiting to congratulate you both.

Taggy tag tags: @dianelogan @bucky-plums-barnes @buckyywiththegoodhair @cate-lynne @avengerofyourheart @sebspocketsquare @sgtbxckybxrnes @bionic-buckyb  @plumfondler @imaginingbucky @sexonastickstan @angryschnauzer @witchymarvelspacecase @palaiasaurus64 @eyecandybarnes @promarvelfangirl @the-observant-fangirl @ballyhoobarnes @trinityjadec @kjs-s @sebbytrash @idreaminpaint @true-queen-of-mischief @buckthegrump @moondancewrites @thisisjamesbarnes @beccaanne814 @oneshot-shit

[gryndboxstudios]

Ghost Ship Review

by Matthew Arce-Phillips

First things first, what the actual fuck?!? The movie didn’t really make a lot of sense, but I think that’s a good thing? Try and hear me out. This movie’s first scene is both amazing a stupid at the same time. I’m gonna spoil this scene because I don’t think director understood how height or angles works. And also because the movie came out in 2002 and if you haven’t seen it yet then you probably aren’t gonna watch it. Unless my words persuade you, then that would be awesome! Anyways, the first scene attempts to give us or first glimpse of how scary this movie is gonna get, spoiler, it doesn’t get much scarier than this. In a nutshell this is what happens.. We see a little girl playing with some toy, bored topside of the boat and then someone who is assumed to be the captain, asks her to dance with everyone else. There’s at least 30 people dancing on what looks like a tiny dance floor on top of the ship “Antonia Graza” and everyone is having a grand ‘ole time. Next we see a mysterious hand pull some kind of lever that then begins to reel in a metal wire that so happens to enclosing the dance floor. The tension of the wire finally breaks and, BAM the wire slices everyone on the dance floor in half! The scene is both fills with gore and suspense. At first all the dancers are shocked and no one reacts, but of course how could they? Then, one by one their bodies begin to spilt in half horizontally and we see the true chaos of the trap. Intestines, limbs, and blood fill every inch of the floor! There’s even people trying to put themselves back together! It’s a truly imaginative sight to see and I give whoever came up with that idea huge props. But then we see the little girl completely unscathed by the incident, but the captain that was dancing with her was somehow cut by the wire directly between his mouth and cheeks and we watch the top portion of his head slide off with ease. Now, I’ve watched this scene 5 times over and over, paused, then play, zoomed in, and got figure out how this little girl survived and the captain lost his head and not his body! I looked at all the other bisected bodies that surrounded them and saw no heads decapitated anywhere! I get it, she needed to be able to walk away for plot or whatever, but how are you gonna tell me that they both were in the middle of the dance floor and didn’t get cut in half?? And then to show the captain being the only one to literally loose his head??? I’m not good at math, but none of that shit adds up. 

Regardless of this confusing as hell scene, the movie the picks up 40 years later and introduces us to the “Arctic Warrior” crew, a sea salvaging team in the middle of hauling some rust bucket of a boat to port. Murphy the capitan, Epps the first mate, Greer the guy who steers the boat, Santos our Hispanic mechanic with a love of low riders, and finally Dodge and Munder the two handy men of the crew pretty much. The movie tries to emphasize how truly great this crew is at doing their job by making the boat they’re pulling start sinking and quickly fix the hole as if it was second nature to them. Alright, cool, we got it. But another weird thing, I couldn’t tell if the captain had a Irish accent or not. His name was Murphy, kinda Irish, but he talked so low in most of the scenes it just sounded like he was trying hard to make the accent but couldn’t really pull it off.  Finally we get some story as to what the movie is gonna be about. Some scrawny looking guy named Jack Ferriman approaches the crew as they’re drinking, enjoying themselves and explains that he found an unknown ship out in the Bering Sea and convinces them to find the boat, bring it back to port, and get rich. Simple enough right? After sometime the crew finds the ship and realize it’s the “Anontia Graza”! The ship from the beginning of the movie, who would’ve expected that! After some exploring around the ship one of the crew members falls through the floor and everyone scrambled to pull him up! The girl that’s barely hanging on to his dumbass sees a little girl in the background and freaks out. From here on out she sees the girl in different areas of the boat and the movie kinda shifts into a thriller of sorts. Like I mentioned before, the movie isn’t really scary. Like, at all. There’s a bit more gore-ish parts here and there, but nothing that screams BOO to your face. As they explore the boat a little more things start getting bad for the crew. They realize the cruise ship needs some repairs before bring it to port and the tug boat they arrived in needs repairs as well. Epps falls into an empty pool, hits her head at the bottom and somehow manages to spill a tiny bit of blood from the 6 foot drop. But does not have a concussion at all... oh ok. The blood is then sucked into some bullet holes and I’m assuming this awakens the spirits? At least that’s way it seems. Because from here the other ghost start acting on the crew. After a few scares Epps and Ferriman find a vault full of golden bricks which they all think this is their ticket to easy street, so they all say fuck it a decide to take the gold home instead of the boat. Semi good choice. We see Santos and Greer making some progress on repairing the boat as the other prepare to move the gold from boat to boat. But, just as Santos has finally fixed the problem, some ghost or what have you opens a gas valve dispensing it in the air. As Greer turns the key the boat fucking explodes destroying the boat, killing Santos, and stranding the remaining crew to the “Antonia Graza”. I’m gonna give a quick rundown of events only because the ending gets bad then good then bad again. So, Murphy who was a recovering alcoholic runs to the captains quarters to snag a drink while the rest of the crew argues on what to do next. Obviously, fix the boat and try to make it home. Greer come with the idea to make a raft with is just fucking stupid. Dodge is mad at Ferriman for showing them the boat, Munder doesn’t seem to care about anything but the money, and Epps is just trying to keep everyone together. In the captains quarters Murphy sees the dead captain and finds some photos showing how the gold got on board of the cruise ship in the first place... along with a picture showing a mysterious man that freaks out Murphy. Greer gets seduced by an Italian singer ghost that tricks him into plunging down an elevator shaft and lands onto some broken rebar. Murphy racing to find the crew starts to hallucinate images of the new crispy Santos and believes Epps is trying to kill him. Ferriman knocks out Murphy and they all put him in some tube thingy waiting for him to sober up.  The rest of the crew then begin to fix up boat, starting with patching a giant hole in the side then pump out the water the has flooded the lower half of the boat. Epps finds Greer then the ghost girl from earlier leads her back to the little girls room and explains what really happened that night. And it’s a bunch of bullshit that’s what happened! Pretty much, some of the crew start poisoning passengers, murdering them with guns in an attempt to steal the gold. It’s a bunch of back stabbing as the crew eventually turn on themselves leaving just the Italian singer who we find out was manipulated by........ JACK FUCKING FERRIMAN!!!!! Get it? Ferriman? Ferry man? I’ll explain in a bit. Anywho, Epps runs to free Murphy who has now drowned in the tube thingy, but somehow he carried that picture with him and it’s reviled the picture is of Ferriman. She scrambled to warn the rest of the crew that Ferriman is some ghost or something but is stopped by him. He doesn’t know she knows just yet. Oh yeah, Munder dies getting sucked up into a gear and gets torn to pieces. Dodge is put in charge of watching Ferriman, Ferriman tried to escape, Dodge shoots him. Epps finds Munder’s corpse by the water pump. Now it’s finally shown that Epps knows Ferriman was on the ship 40 years ago and asks for an explanation. Now here is one of my biggest problems with the movie and why I felt the need to explain everything fucking thing in this movie. Jack explains that he works someone “downstairs” and that he collects souls to make them happy. This is his job because he has lived a life full of sin. Pfft, who hasn’t buddy. Now is where I explain the Ferriman shit. In Greek Mythology Charon is the Ferry man that carries newly dead souls across the Rivers styx. But, In Jacks explanation he makes it seems like he works for Satan himself. Seriously, what the fuck? How are they gonna try to combine two different religions and expect everyone to except that? I just could t believe it when I heard it. That explanation was just terrible... After this, Epps defeats Ferriman, the souls are freed, and she drifts out into open sea only to be picked up by another cruise liner. Back on shore she’s loaded up into an ambulance and she watches the crew of a cruise ship load luggage on board and among the crew members is fucking Jack Ferriman in the flesh. Of course, the circle continues. I know it seems like I’m complaining a lot but I actually did enjoy this movie. It wasn’t super terrible but not super good either. When looking into this movie I read that originally the movie was going to be a physiological thriller called Chimera, but for reasons unknown the script underwent tons of rewrites and became Ghost Ship. I remember hearing about his movie when I was a kid and thinking it was dumb, but of course only because I was too scared to actually watch it. Now that I think back to it I’m glad I never watched it. I probably would shit myself in the first 30 minutes. Oh yeah, I hated scary movies as a kid. It’s definitely a movie that has not aged well at all. The cgi and backdrops are pretty bad looking. But when you see the open waters it’s beautiful, that I don’t mind. Personally I’d probably watch this movie one more time if I ever needed time to kill or was just bored. It held my attention the first time really well, but I’m not sure about a second. I give Ghost Ship 6 bacon and cheese Whataburgers outta 10. I ate one while watching the movie and I also ate while writing this review.

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